#1961 Terrible People Live Forever
Terrible People Live Forever
An emergency room nurse was married to a man with type 1 for seven years and still didn't understand it. Then her daughter was diagnosed. She speaks anonymously about learning it late and managing it across two houses.
Jump to a moment
- She is an emergency room nurse who didn't understand type 1. Asked to rate her knowledge during her marriage on a scale of 0 to 100, she says 25. Her explanation is worth hearing: nursing school covers type 2 at length — insulin resistance, chronic disease acquired later in life — and touches type 1 only enough to say it's the insulin-dependent kind. In the emergency room, she says, some of what she absorbed turned out not to be correct.
- Seven years married to someone with type 1 still wasn't enough. He handled it himself and didn't ask her for help, which she now distinguishes carefully from handling it well. She knew to watch for lows and that illness ran him high, and not much beyond that — a gap that only became visible once she had to learn it properly for her own child.
- The diagnosis came through a urinary tract infection visit. Her daughter was complaining of irritation, so she took her in to be checked. There was glucose in the urine. Even then, she says candidly, she didn't register how significant that was — and when the physician asked whether the child had symptoms, she answered no, because she wasn't looking for the right ones.
- Managing it across two households is its own problem. The children are with her most of the time, so she carries most of the work, and when they're with their father she coaches by text — telling her daughter when a correction is needed. Her daughter can enter one herself, and guesses when she isn't sure. Nine years post-divorce, the two of them are still negotiating how this gets done.
- Her endocrinologist gives out a cell phone number. She credits a specific doctor who trusts her to adjust settings and says to call with questions — and notes that a different physician in the same practice would likely not have appreciated changes made without a call first. Scott's observation is that it takes very little to make an enormous difference to a patient. Nothing here is medical advice.
- Diabetes Pro Tip series — Episodes 1000-1025 — settings, insulin timing, and food impact.
- Bold Beginnings series — Scott and Jenny Smith for the newly diagnosed.
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook group — The private community she credits with getting her started.
- Juice Cruise 2027 — The third annual Juicebox community cruise, on sale now.
Every word of the conversation
Cold open & sponsors0:03
Hello, friends. Welcome back to the Juice Box podcast. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Are you looking for a vacay?
Of course, you are. Juice Cruise 2027 is on sale right now. Go cruising with a bunch of people who either have type one diabetes or live with it. We're talking about parents, loved ones, adults. It's a great eclectic mix of juice box podcast listeners getting together, enjoying each other, fun, sun, and a little getaway.
Juice Cruise twenty twenty seven is available right now at juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise. We're already selling slots. It is I don't wanna say it's filling up, but it's coming together. So hustle, hustle. Today's episode is sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care, the Eversense three sixty five, and touched by type one.
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Why we're using an alias2:28
So normally, the person I'm speaking to would introduce themselves, and then Rob would cut it up a little bit and make it the entry for the the entry for the the podcast. And but instead today, I wanna let you all know that we are going to be using an alias for today's guest. So, I mean, we can pick a name together if you want, or we could just call you Jennifer Garner since she starred in the television show alias that I watched through the two thousands. What do you wanna do?
That's fine. Let's use that one.
You're gonna call you Jennifer?
Yeah. Sure.
Awesome. You know Jennifer Gardner's good friend, Victor Garber, has type one diabetes?
I did not know that.
Oh, now you know. I don't know what you're gonna do with that information. It's Jennifer, but we'll find out. Also, we'll probably never call you Jennifer again.
Right.
A nurse who didn't know type one3:12
So what brings you here today?
Well, I just thought my story was a little bit interesting. My daughter was diagnosed almost two years ago now with type one. Mhmm. And I work as a nurse. And even as a nurse, I knew very little about type one.
And I was married to a type one diabetic for almost seven years and still didn't know what I needed to know about type one diabetes.
Okay.
But after meeting with some friends on Facebook and starting to listen to the podcast, I quickly figured it out. But what I have learned in the process is there is a lot that goes into it, especially when dealing with a co parent and ex husband, you know, stuff like that.
Yeah. I wanna hear about that. But first, I have to understand, how are you married to a type one and don't understand type one?
For the longest time, he like, I knew type one was insulin dependent diabetic diabetic. You know? Like, I knew he had to have insulin all the time. I didn't really understand what basal insulin was and what you know, like, obviously, fast acting insulin, I know what that is, but he did not take the best care of himself. He did not have health insurance for the longest time before we got married.
I knew, obviously, to be prepared for if he had lows or something like that. I knew when he was sick, he would get high. But for the most part, he took care of it. He didn't rely on me for much, and there just it there wasn't a whole lot that I had to do.
Okay. So he took care of it with air quotes means he didn't ask you to help with it. Doesn't necessarily mean he was taking good care of himself.
Correct.
Okay. And vaguely speaking, what kind of nurse are you?
Well, I started out as an emergency room nurse, and I am now an emergency nurse.
But just but to say that you understood diabetes like, if if the understanding of diabetes was a spectrum that went from zero to a 100 while you were married, what do you think your understanding of it was?
Probably 25.
Okay. And
before Of type one diabetes.
Right. Right. And before you were married, was it about the same?
Probably.
Can you explain to people listening who are confused? I understand because I've been doing this a while. But explain to them in your words how you can be a nurse and not understand that kind of stuff.
What nursing school actually teaches5:44
Honestly, I think in nursing school, they teach more about type two diabetes. You learn about insulin resistance. You learn that most of, I mean, really, the majority of the diabetics that you're going to see are type two diabetics. Mhmm. You learn about diseases that people acquire later in life, chronic diseases, you know, with but they don't they teach you.
They touch upon what type one diabetes is. They tell you there's a difference. There's insulin dependent diabetes, and then there's this other kind of diabetes. And you really don't learn the specific of the of type one diabetes.
Sort of the extent of your educational. Then Right. Then what happens when you come across the person with type one? How does the how does your knowledge not grow? Is it just your time touching them isn't long enough, or is it that it gets dumbed down so much you don't think about it?
It probably just gets dumbed down so much you don't think about it. I mean, it's just really, after listening to the podcast, some of the things I learned working in the emergency room weren't really correct. But it was like, well, if you see a diabetic who has an insulin pump, I'll immediately drop it off. You know? Mhmm.
If they come in with I I I'm seeing my fair share of patients in DKA. I've seen a lot of them, actually. I've hung insulin drips quite a bit, but you don't really there's just certain things they don't teach you or you don't have to know, I guess, in an emergency room setting.
Do you think it's as simple as one day somebody with a pump on came in, their blood sugar got super low because the pump kept giving them insulin. They didn't need it. You know? They were unconscious or something. They got low, and then the rule became, hey.
When someone comes in with a pump, shut it off.
Right.
Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's just there's it's sort of this nonsensical, we saw this, so now we always do this thing. And then people say that out loud, and it gets what what?
It gets repeated and repeated. And when you hear it eventually, it just seems like a rule.
Yeah. Correct.
That's how all bad communication works. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So okay.
So you have little knowledge of it through your schooling, through your work Mhmm. Even though people some people might assume that seems crazy, but I I think it's I think it's reasonable to say that it's not, honestly. I Mhmm. I I just don't think people are I don't think humans have the capacity to remember everything they need to know about medicine and everything they might bump into along the way. And
That's true.
Yeah. But from the outside you don't have this experience because you've probably been a nurse for a long time. But if the outside, it is really confusing. You know what I mean?
Like Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know.
It is.
It Yeah. Sorry.
I mean, like I said, the majority of of diabetics the majority of things we learn in nursing school is about type two diabetes. Mhmm. My family has a history of type two diabetes. I had never really run into any type one diabetics. Mhmm.
And like I said, even knowing my husband was a type one diabetic, there was very little I had to do for him.
So so you meet a guy. He has type one. This doesn't put you off. You date and get married, obviously. You're thrown in with him.
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I really didn't know. I didn't know about the long term complications. I didn't know, about the difficulty with insurances and even, like, getting being able to get on to my life insurance. He couldn't even get life insurance through my work because of his history. Mhmm.
He I I mean, really, I thought, oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, he has to take insulin. He has a bag with supplies that he needs, so I knew that he had to have that bag with him. For the most part, he never he never really got low, that I really had to take care of much.
I probably saw my mom, a type two diabetic on insulin, get low more than I saw my ex husband have a low blood sugar.
Interesting. How long did you date before you got married?
Two years or maybe something like that.
So your total time together is nine, ten years right there?
Mhmm.
Okay. And you're do have a child with him?
I have two children with him.
And which one has type one?
The younger one. She is 11 now. She was nine at diagnosis.
How long have you not been married?
Nine years.
Okay. So you were together ten. You've almost been apart as long as you were together.
Correct.
Gotcha. And in the last couple of years of your marriage, you had your daughter?
Yes. I have
that math all correct? Okay. So okay. So is she diagnosed while you're married? No.
Oh, okay. Now that she's diagnosed and you have a different understanding of diabetes, what do you think his understanding of diabetes was?
I I don't I don't appreciate his understanding of diabetes. After learning about it myself and really looking into what my daughter needs and what I can do to help her, I don't appreciate the way he handles his care. I don't appreciate the way he handles her care. I don't know that he knows how to count carbs. I think he probably guesses doses.
Like and and and I've heard you say that you look at a plate and you see units, not carbs
Mhmm.
Which it may be what he does. And to be fair to him, I think when he got diagnosed, it was you're allowed to have this many carbs and this much protein and this much whatever per meal, and this is how much insulin you take Mhmm. I think. And that rule has since changed. Now you just dose for however many carbs you're gonna be eating.
But I'm pretty sure when he was diagnosed, that was how they did it. You know?
Had he had it for a long time since he was a kid?
He was 18 when he got diagnosed.
Oh, that's a tough time too. Okay. Well, do you know what his a one c's were like when you were together?
Finding out after the fact, I think they were tens.
Oh god.
Nines, tens.
Was he in the medical field as well?
He was an EMT basic for a while.
Okay. You people love to stick together in the matter.
He he wore many hats while we were together. That was part of it. He's very full
with it. Heard you say he couldn't keep a job.
That maybe.
Oh my gosh. Sorry. Do you think any of his issues came from his high blood sugars?
Yes.
Do you think he knew that?
Maybe he's putting it together now, but I I still think when we talk to him, he probably thinks he got the short end of the stick.
Meaning, this isn't the life I bargained for, so I'm just gonna sort of kick rocks and make For
me, I have the worst luck. Everything bad always happens to me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Do you see with with a lot of brain fog?
What?
Did he have brain fog, like, kinda confusion or, like, slow thinking with high blood sugars?
I I don't know. I mean, I was probably just so used to seeing him with high blood sugar. And for the longest time now I did know this. He always told me, I feel better when my blood sugar's in the two hundreds than I do when it's in the one hundreds. He always told me that.
Because And in my
Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
Well and in my thinking, I always told him, if you kept it in the one hundreds, you would feel better in the one hundreds. But that was the most of my knowledge of at that point.
Like, was that was all I knew, but I still I got that right. What's interesting, it'd be it's like if I said to you, like, I'm much more comfortable when my pants are on fire. And you said, but yeah. But, Scott, eventually, you're gonna burn down into a crisp and die. I go, but I'm very comfortable like this.
It's a it's a a weird thing to like like like, well, I'm more comfortable in the two hundreds. It mean, I I don't know how to, like, exactly, like, wrap my confusion around something like that. You you know? Like, I don't I really don't know how to, like, articulate it. It's something horrible is happening to you.
And instead of saying, wanna remove myself from something horrible and put myself somewhere good, I'm just gonna say, well, I like it better here.
Mhmm.
That's very, very weird in human. But at the same time, if his blood sugars are elevated forever and ever, then maybe he's not the best arbiter of decision making and what's what's right for him. So then my question here and you've been divorced long enough that I don't think I'm gonna make you cry and, like, you know, up you know, change your life and everything. But Right. When you started to understand diabetes for your daughter, did you ever have a moment where quietly you thought, oh, that poor guy?
Like, I like, did you ever have that I wish I would have known? Like or he needed help and he couldn't do it himself. Did you ever, like, have a compassionate thought about that?
Actually, I I think we were probably too far divorced and in a bad spot when that came about.
Okay.
Okay. I did send him I remember listening to your specific episode where you talked about diabetes complications and picturing, like, the sugar on the table and it's granular and, you know, how it can destroy your blood vessels and stuff like that. I wanted him to listen to that, not only for himself, but for our daughter Yeah. And he never knew.
Because did did he give you a reason, or do you not have enough of a relationship, though?
At first, I thought he didn't listen to podcasts. And then I found out he does, but maybe not as fun.
That's one of my favorite things when people go, I I can't. I don't listen to podcasts. I'm like, I don't even know what that means.
Right.
It'd be like it'd be like if I said, hey. The secret to life is on a billboard over there, you went, I'm sorry. I don't look at billboards. Right. Why don't you just make an exception today and look over there?
Just a couple of episodes.
That's, like, I promise. You know what? What you need to know in about ten or fifteen o'clock.
We have people we really are a mess, aren't we? This is fast it's fascinating. Hey. I think there's something really important for you to do. Oh, I'm sorry.
Is it in a podcast? I can't do it. Had you sent me an audiobook, I would have definitely been able to listen. And everybody's stupid. Okay.
And and okay. I don't need to understand. We're not here to talk about your your marriage. Are you remarried now? No.
Smart. I mean okay. Can I ask you? How did you are you older when
you 43.
Were you were you older when you got married?
I was in my late twenties.
That's not older. What happened? Was he fun? Was he like, what how do you
He I've actually heard many, many people say this about their ex husbands or boyfriends or whatever, but he actually was the classic narcissist. So he was really fun and outgoing and charismatic and just confident, and he had all these qualities that were just fun to be around. And then they slowly started to disappear.
Was he handsome?
To me, personality makes someone more attractive.
My god.
So I thought he was attractive attractive then because he was so outgoing and funny and, you know, all the things. And now I look at him, and I am not at all attractive.
Can you imagine how dorky guys with good personalities and no look feel when they hear something like that? Like, you went with a like, you chose a guy who's not that attractive because he had a good personality, and then this is what happened. Great. We're over here.
People would some people would probably look at him and say he's attractive, especially in his younger days. He probably was attractive considered attractive.
I think what you're saying.
But, I mean, I'm
really like, this is obviously not about you, but I'm just trying to understand bigger picture. Plus, I have a young daughter. Like, you know what I mean? Like, what makes you guys, like, just be like, oh, that one. He's a but whatever.
Yeah. Like, I don't that's fascinating to me. Were you just in, like were you I I were you thinking, like, you wouldn't have a baby?
No. No? It wasn't for
baby fever?
At the time, I didn't even have children. When I look at even dating now, I it's not that one can fix him type of thing, but you try to give somebody the benefit of the doubt. Okay. But why He has this, but I think he's a good guy. Are we missing something?
Did Jennifer, did he have good Coke? What are we talking about right now? What was really going on? Please tell me.
I can't tell you. I think it was just his charisma. I really think that's what it is.
No kidding, guys. There you go. Get a wrap and head out there. Some poor lady will throw her life away on you if you want. Jesus.
You feel better now, though, that you're divorced?
Yes.
Good.
Yes. Yeah. Best decision in my life.
Don't even know what to say about that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Oh my god. If my wife would leave, I definitely think that's what she would say. Oh my gosh. Okay. So your daughter's diagnosed.
Glucose in the urine21:09
Do you know like, do you see symptoms coming, or is it does it come on you?
I I didn't see symptoms. Looking back, I may have saw a few. But at the time, I did not see symptoms. She was having some, I don't know, possibly, like, yeast infection type of just itching, complaining of things bothering her down there. Mhmm.
So I
really just went in to get to see if she had a a urinary tract infection, and she had glucose in her urine.
Okay. And that was not quick.
Even then. This is embarrassing to Even then, I did not realize that glucose in the urine was that bad.
When you heard the word glucose, you didn't think, oh, that guy who I wasted a decade with, he we talked about glucose a lot. That that didn't strike you?
No. Okay. I mean, it okay. So the physician even said to me, okay. She has glucose in her urine.
“Is she having any symptoms?”22:06
It's not very much. And I was like, okay. And he goes, is there any diabetes in the family? And I said, yes. Her dad is diabetic.
And he said, okay. He goes, well, is she having any symptoms? And I said, no. She's not having any symptoms.
You should have said yes. This yeast infection.
Well, I mean, that and all I didn't know that was a a symptom. I didn't know. And he honest he let us leave. He was fine. He was like, okay.
I stop that for second?
Let me stop you for a second. There's a life lesson in here for everybody. I don't care if it's medicine, your finances, the guy trying to put a roof on your house, whatever. Please please hear me and take this forward in your life. No one knows what the fuck they're talking about.
Everyone is pretending to get a paycheck to get through. Think about yourself. You know you're in your job. Half making it up all the time. And then you go out into the world and see somebody else and go, well, they must know.
You know what I mean? What a weird you're a nurse. I'm not I'm not being hard on you. You're a nurse. That was a doctor.
You were like, my daughter, whose whose father has type one diabetes, has a yeast infection and glucose in her urine. That's probably nothing.
Well and I even think her pediatrician probably should have been checking her urine every year at her physical and never did.
Well, I mean, there's a lot of things that probably should have been happening. Correct. My point is when you get out in the world, you just see other people and you think you you just think they know what they're talking about all the time. Mhmm. You know, I sat down with somebody recently who's a like a I mean, they they work with money.
And they're they're they're just a friend. And I was chatting with them, and I asked them a question about, like, you know, markets and how things work and trying to figure out a way I can retire one day and all this stuff. And the answer back was almost like, no. I don't know really. Like, it was I'm like, hey.
You've doing this for twenty years successfully, and it's all just like, well, you know, it's a little bit of hoping and a little bit of maybe going in the story. I I just don't think there's a lot of situations in the world where you have to absolutely listen to somebody and say, well, they know. They're the principal of the school. They know. They're the school nurse.
They know. No one knows. The school nurse is at home doing heroin. Okay? Like or or what she's a regular person is my point.
This is what our doctors did to us, and I listened to you, and I think, my gosh. This guy figured it out on on his own.
And I'm an idiot. You know? You probably thought that. You're probably like, this moron. Jesus.
How bad did you feel when you realized I knew? You're like, oh god. What was I doing?
What I was begging for.
No. You're very nice. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
No. That's I mean, it it's true, though. It is. Like, we trust that these people know what they're talking about. Mhmm.
And he let us leave. We left. Fascinating. Yeah. When she was probably you know, she had diabetes.
At that point, we left.
Did it get worse after that, or did you were you able to, like, come back around on it quickly?
So it was probably a week's time. And the I wanna say the girls probably told their dad something about it. And I'll give him credit for this. He was like, oh, she's got diabetes. Uh-huh.
And I was like, she you thought your other two he had two children from previous marriage. I said, you thought they have diabetes. They don't she doesn't have diabetes.
Like, they I'm gonna be right eventually.
He he was was right. And so I did I got some strips, and I tested her at home when it was probably a week's time. Oh, yes. A week after that appointment.
Yeah.
I mean And she had large amounts of glucose in her urine. Very large amounts.
In fairness to him, he knows what poorly controlled diabetes looks like. So he was probably like, that really reminds me of my life, what you just said there. So Yeah. Wow.
Oh, I think tells me he thinks she was being alive. He thought she was drinking a lot. I didn't see it. I did not see those at all. Don't think so.
Even looking now, looking at it, I do not see those. She was very, very, very, very skinny. She didn't lose weight, but she was very, very skinny.
Okay. Are you hey. Was he older than you?
By, like, three years.
Yeah. And he already had a couple of kids with another lady when you met him? Girls, again, the these simple the rules are simple. Okay? They're very simple.
If if someone else in the sisterhood couldn't take it, why do you think you're gonna be able to take don't understand.
Well, you get those stories about how terrible his ex wife was and what she did to him and how it wasn't fair. And
I bet you tell some stories about you.
I know. I am now a greedy, and I am okay with that. I'm not
laughing at you or anybody else. It's just the whole human condition is ridiculous. Mhmm. Because he could have just you know? I don't know.
You could just be nice to people and try to make your life work. It's not hard. Yeah. Okay. Right.
Wow. Okay. So, yeah, a week later, you he figures it out or, you know, pushes. You go back. Do you end up in the hospital, or what's the the beginning?
I I called the doctor's office. I got her scheduled for labs first thing in the morning. We went in and got fasting lab work, and then we met at the doctor's office for an appointment. And as we're, like, in the waiting room getting ready to go back, her a one c comes back, and it's eleven point two. And I was like, oh, crap.
Mhmm. So, I mean, I knew it. I you know, at that point, I knew it. But so we go back to the doctor's office, and, obviously, they they were like, okay. Well, let's let's stick her finger again, and let's see what her sugar is after you let her eat.
Let's see what you know, obviously, it was high. It was in the three hundreds. And like I said, her a one c was 11.2. And Yeah. And she goes, what do you wanna do?
Do you wanna get admitted to the hospital? Do you want me to just call endocrine and just see if they can fit you in? Like, what do we do? And I was like, I at this point, I don't care as long as we get her taken care of. Mhmm.
If you need to admit us, you can admit us. But she sent us home. She said she'll call Endocrine, and I before we even got home, I got a phone call that said, if you can get there now, just turn around and drive to their office, and they'll see you right now.
Is that a professional courtesy, do you think?
I don't know. Okay.
So okay. So now here it is. He's gone. She's diagnosed. You don't have any comfort that he understands what he's doing.
You now recognize, holy, you don't understand what you're doing. And then where where are next steps? Do you just, like, lean into what the doctors tell you and just hope for the best? Or like, I'm I'm really interested how you, like, psychologically pick through those first months.
So the very first month, I probably was leaning on his knowledge because I too was afraid of what happens if she gets low more so than what happens if she gets high. Mhmm. Because I didn't know. I didn't know how bad it was if she got high. You know?
So and they teach you a little bit about counting carbs, and they teach you I mean, we were in that office for probably four hours before we came home, and I still left there feeling like I did not know anything. You know? But I got you know, you they go downstairs to the pharmacy and fill all of these things, and then the pharmacist is like, this is glucagon in case she passes out. And I was like, then I'm balling in a pharmacy in front of a stranger. You know?
Why would she pass out? Like, yeah. Like, what what wait. What no one mentioned that. Yeah.
Just
There's this thing you don't think about. You know? So in probably in that first month, I was more afraid of low than high. And I did like, he he would come over, and he would say, okay. This is, you know, this is what she's having for supper.
Learning it from scratch30:02
This is what we need to, you know, dose her, and he was trying to make her feel more comfortable. And he did let me know of a few, like, apps that you can count carbs with. And I felt comfortable having her in his care because I knew that he wasn't gonna let her get too low. But then after that, I started doing my own education and getting more comfortable with it myself and and finding out these things. And then I was like, oh, okay.
What what makes you, like, let go of what you're told in the beginning and the comfort of, well, he won't let her get low, and you don't really know the the, I guess, the weight of the outcomes that he's been having his whole life. So what makes you look for more? Do you see something, or is it a somebody say something to you? What what what opens up the door for you?
Originally, my dad was telling me about a child in our hometown that has type one diabetes. And he's like, I'd like you to talk to her. You can talk to her. I'm sorry. What's her name?
Did you? Yes.
Oh, okay. Take that out.
Talk to her. Mhmm. And, you know, you can talk to the mom. And so I met her at one of the basketball games for our hometown basketball game. And I did speak to her a little bit, and she got my phone number, she texted me.
And she said, I follow this group on Facebook. It's moms of type one diabetics. So I started following that group on Facebook, and that is what got me started thinking, okay. There is so much more to this Mhmm. That I need to know and I need to understand.
Well, god bless your dad for realizing that you married a dummy and that you are now listening to him about the god the granddaughter. And he was like, listen. If if she wants to ruin her life with him, I guess I can't do anything about it, but I gotta stick up for the kid. That's what your dad's doing. Right?
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
See how how ain't that nice your dad was still looking out for you?
Yes. Absolutely. He does. He is I should've married a man lying in my desk.
Well, I don't wanna ask you why you didn't, but I'm assuming there's a reason. But but no. I mean, seriously, like, that's lovely. Like, there there's your dad kinda stepping back and going, okay. You know, I haven't said I'm sure he said stuff over the years, but he he stays out of it.
You're divorced now. Whatever. But now that he sees you're gonna lean on the husband, the ex, for the care of the of your daughter, he's like, no. No. No.
We're not we're not doing this. Wow. Look at that. Did you ever thank him?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. That's awesome. Very cool.
And and from there, then I get, you know, introduced to the Juicebox podcast. And I I think probably at the time right before I got introduced to that woman from my hometown, I was probably more recognizing, like, hey. She shouldn't be this high all the time. Mhmm. We should probably be, you know, giving more insulin for some of these things, or, you know, there are definitely things that I was looking at before, probably, I got in touch with her, but that really solidified it.
Can I ask you a quick
I don't wanna, like, denigrate anybody because I don't mean for this I hope this isn't how it comes off? But I do not freak frequent's the wrong word. I do not go into other Facebook groups. So I've just a long time I mean, you know, when I was a parent, I was, you know, members of a couple of them. But once I started doing my own thing, I thought, like, they don't want me in there.
Like, it feels predatory. Like, you know, he's trying to drag people to his group or whatever. So I I never wanted the the the appearance of that, so I just I don't I don't get involved. But how how is it that inside of a a group for people with type one diabetes or parents of or whatever the group is, like, how come my thing still gets suggested? How come the answer doesn't live in there?
I think sometimes the answer lives in there. There are a lot of knowledgeable people in there.
I imagine. Yeah.
But but your stuff get your stuff is very popular in the type one diabetes world, and it gets mentioned. I think probably the answers some of the answers are in that group because some of the members in that group have listened to your podcast.
Okay.
Have
okay.
I I think it some of it overlaps. Probably not all of it. There might be people in that group that don't listen to the podcast, and there might be people that you know, I I think but maybe a lot of people just get their answers from experience and stuff the way you got your answers, but I think a lot of people listen to it as well.
I see. I'm I'm outside of that. I really do live, like, in a bubble around all this on purpose. Because every time I try to, like, be out in the world, like, somebody yells at me. So I'm like, okay.
I don't need this. I yelled at the other day by somebody I like, and I was like, you know, who I thought I was like, what is happening? I I just I'm trying to help. Okay. But I just didn't under like, it just occurred to me.
Like, you don't take your car to a mechanic, and the mechanic looks at it and goes, okay. Great. We're just gonna take this to a different garage.
We're gonna
get it all set up. And, you know, like so Well, okay. I I'm I'm just gonna accept your your compliment and say thank you. I just wasn't sure why that that struck me as strange. But
Legitimately, in this community, there are people that just want you to be helped. They want to help you. And the if the best way to help you is to send you over to your Facebook page with your podcast and your information, then that's what you do.
Yeah. No. I feel the same way. When people suggest other stuff inside of my Facebook group, I'm like, yeah. I mean, if it's helping you, tell somebody about it.
Mhmm. It is hard. Like, in the very, very beginning, I can see the the feeling of, like, oh, I built this thing. I believe the answers are here, and now you're telling somebody to go somewhere else. It it's hard to swallow at first, but you realize that if you're really in it to help people, it doesn't matter.
And they all you know, people are you know, just because I say something, maybe they wouldn't understand me or like me or whatever. Let them go find it somewhere else. Why why would you stand in the way of that? So okay.
Two houses, two approaches36:04
No. Even so, I bet they probably wouldn't completely abandon yours for a different one. I bet they would probably still listen to both or do both.
You know? Why is that? What's it about that Facebook group that I made that's like, what what's attractive of are you in it? I imagine you are.
Yes. Oh, yeah.
In Is what's attractive about it, though?
Just the the knowledge base, the the people that and if you ask a question, they can tell you exactly what episode it's on. Mhmm. Or, you know, it just yeah. It
It really
does an incredible resource.
Yeah. Well, thank you. Mhmm. That's nice to know. Mhmm.
Okay. So you start figuring out that this ain't right. And then you tell your ex, and he's so happy that you're taking good care of your daughter. And not only that, but he wants to transform his own health and happily ever after. Is that
what happened? Something not quite like that.
Okay. Go ahead.
I he doesn't appreciate the way I manage her diabetes. He thinks I let her sit too low. He thinks like, I I even measure out, like, here's a little baggie, and I put six Skittles in it because this is how many Skittles you need to bring your blood sugar up from a low blood sugar. Okay? Like, you don't need 70 Skittles.
You don't need 30 Skittles. You need about six. You know? And he's telling me, you don't know what it feels like. You don't understand what it feels like to have a low blood sugar.
You'll never understand. You know, I know what it feels like. And I'm like, why? I I probably, at some point, have had a low blood sugar in my life, but maybe like, you're right. I do not understand these severe hypo episodes.
But I also can promise you it probably doesn't feel good to go from 60 to two forty in a matter of twenty minutes because you overdosed for a low blood sugar.
It's also not gonna feel good in twenty years when your heart pops or something else horrible happens.
Correct.
Yeah. Yeah.
So Correct. She had an a one c of five point four, and she was so excited. And she comes home, and she calls her dad, and he said, that's too tight of control. And I asked, can you just be happy that your daughter's healthy?
Or go to
school, maybe?
I would maybe see a therapist.
Right.
Well, jeez. You can pick them. Is that why you don't date anymore? Did you think I was I'm just gonna just gonna pick another one like this?
Just are not good options out there.
Did you did you try for a little bit? Yeah. I
mean, I do try.
Oh, you still do?
I dated someone after that for two and a half years, and that just didn't work out either. But maybe it's me.
Listen. I had a guy come on the other day, and he's like he's been on before. He we went all through it. So you guys probably if you're listening to this now, you probably just heard it recently. And if you didn't, please just listen to the podcast.
I work really hard on it. But he comes on because he'd been on before to talk about, I was on this pump. That pump sucks. So I went to this pump, and this pump sucks. So I went to this pump, and I'm really happy now.
Then he wanted to come back on to talk about how that third pump sucked, but then he tried a fourth pump, and that one sucked me. I was on a fifth one. He doesn't think it's right. And he starts talking, I went, hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey. It possible you're the problem? And then we had a lovely conversation where he was like, oh god. It is me.
And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's definitely you.
Yeah. I don't it's so funny. Actually, you know what? Go ahead.
That pop is only as good as its settings, I think. But
Yeah. Right. Exactly. I'm like, I don't think they all kinda work about the thing. Yeah.
No. Listen. I've been married this summer. I'll be married thirty years.
And
and my wife is, like, very smart and, you know, thoughtful and has a ton of, you you know just she's very she's just a very smart girl. Like and and you know? But she's also, like, very opinionated and pushy and, like, all those other things that Right. I'll joke about all the time and say, like, oh, like, I'll joke and say, next time, I'm just gonna get somebody that nods and just go, you know, okay. Is that what we're doing?
And, like, you and but because that's never happened to me once in my entire life, and I do wonder what it would feel like for someone just to look at me and go, good idea, Scott. I like you. Like so
but having I mean, I
Go ahead.
I no. I think it's nice sometimes to to meet a guy or a person that that knows what they want and to make decisions so you don't have to make all the decisions.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because being the primary decision maker isn't all that fun.
I definitely know girls don't wanna decide stuff, especially food
and things like that.
But Right. But I'm telling you, if my wife disappeared tomorrow and I started dating, I'd go find another girl like her. I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, well, I don't know why I wanna be treated this way. It
must mean you picked it right the first time.
I don't know. It's like it's like three times a year, she'll be like, I love you. And I'm like, oh my god. Are we doing that today? I was I didn't know we were gonna be feeling today.
She's gonna I'm sorry. I'm painting her in such a bad picture. I'm just saying that, like, she there's a type. She she has she is a type. And as much as, like, I sit around and go like, oh, no.
I don't know. Like, it would be nice to see what the other side was like, When I really start to think about it, I don't I think that would make me crazy. Like, if a girl ran around behind me agreeing with me all the time, I think I'd be like, oh, why are you doing that? Stop. You know, like, have your own thoughts.
And I'm Right. I'm interested in what you think. But, you know, so I can it's fun to complain about, but then you get back into it. I know I do the same thing yet. Anyway, that's my point with you.
And so you're just gonna end up with that guy again and again and again. So therapy for everybody.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah. Exactly. Go for because you're still young.
Reasonably so?
No. I mean, listen. They told me that AI and GLPs are gonna keep me alive, but I'm, like, a 110. You're gonna be going for a while now. There you go.
You're gonna need a guy to cut the lawn at some point.
That's true. I it does get tiring cutting it myself.
I was gonna say, aren't you sick of that?
I am. Tired of getting a single lawn grass. But I like the way I do it too, so I might have a hard time working with somebody else.
For years, my wife told me I was cutting the lawn wrong when we were first married. I'm like, what are you basing this on? And she's like, oh, the way my dad cut it. I was like, I don't know. Your dad doesn't seem that great.
I was like, I think I could
It's true. I have to load the dishwasher a certain way because my dad had to load the dishwasher a certain way.
That's what I'm saying. It's all ridiculous. Yeah. Then mostly, the dishes will come out clean unless you're one of those horrible people that lies them flat and doesn't understand anything. Yeah.
But I I had I was I've never said this on here before. It's been long enough. It was Thanksgiving, and we were at our house. And it was you know, everybody helps with the dishes a little bit afterwards. And so I'm rinsing dishes off and then putting them in the in the dishwasher.
And my sister-in-law was baffled by that. And I was like, what well, I don't understand what's going on right now. She's like, why are you washing them to put them in the dishwasher? I'm like, well, there's, like, chunks of food on them. It's not a magic box.
It's a Exactly. It's a box with a hose inside of it
that's that's, like, going Food's gonna go somewhere probably at the bottom of your dishwasher.
Yeah. I was like, wait. What are you okay. Then And I was just she was baffled by that. I thought, oh, world's interesting.
Anyway, so and she's a lovely girl. Just saw it the other night. It's her her birthday. So okay. So now the kid's moving.
Nine years later, still negotiating43:36
You're understanding better. What's the difference like? Like, you're you you have her lower stable. You've gone through the personality problems of him, like, giving her crap about her lower a one c, all that stuff. Like but where are you now?
How did you get to where you are now through all of that?
We're I'm not at a great place with him. We're still dealing with stuff, me and him. And even, you know, nine years divorced, we're still dealing with stuff. But, the children spend most of the time with
me. Exactly.
So it's easier for me.
Yeah.
I'm I'm the one in charge of most of it. During his times with them, he is the you know, he has to manage it, but I can text her and be like, hey. He needs to take a correction. That sugar is way too high. He needs to bring that down.
And and she can. You know? She knows how to do that kind of stuff, and she'll type in a correction. And if she doesn't know, she guesses.
That's that sounds exhausting to still be involved with somebody who divorced and nine years later and be fighting still. Could you guys have just gone on a family cruise and he fallen? Wouldn't that have been okay?
That might have been okay. But I've decided terrible people will probably live forever.
It's what he's saying about you right now. It's just something. He's like, this one won't leave me alone. Yes.
Correct.
So so, okay. So you still have difficulties. And by difficulties, you mean, like, as easy as, like, please don't let her overtreat her low. You know? Like, let's not leave her blood sugar so high.
And then isn't that confusing for her? Because isn't she managing one specific way with you, and then she goes to him, and then it goes out the window? Like, how does she
She came home one time, and she said to me I said, oh my gosh. It it kinda got high there for a little while. What happened? Oh, the crumple takes it. And I said, oh, no.
We don't say those things. Like, I know it will eventually, but there's no reason to sit there with a high blood sugar for hours and hours and hours. You're just hurting your your, you know, poor little blood vessels and stuff. And there's only so much she understands, but in her mind, she wants to be healthy. She doesn't want to die, and I'm not trying to, like, you know, scare her into you're gonna die if you don't take care of yourself.
But she wants to live a long and healthy life, and she wants more than anything to be a mom. And I said to her, you have to take care of these things if you wanna be a mom. Because if you wanna get pregnant and have babies, that's how we have to do it, is we have to take control of these things. And That's good that you brought that up with
her so early. That's that's why I we were just talking about that we. I just said we. I think I'm talking about my AI box. Sorry.
Hold on a second.
That's ridiculous. I just I just did a thing with my grand round series and pulled out, like, a bunch of lessons from it. And I'm just turning it into social media. And one of the things I can't believe I said we. And one of the things that that it pulled out about pregnancy was talking about like, it it was obviously in a conversation I had already.
And it was talking about about we we were talking about, you know, telling young girls early on, like, give them the expectation, like, so that it's not something they're trying to figure out, you know, when they find themselves pregnant or the minute they decide, like, oh, I'm gonna get pregnant now. Like, they they understand that this is a goal for the future. It's interesting to hear that you actually did that, you know, in your own life. Mhmm. Mhmm.
How'd you end up being such a good parent? Jesus.
It's hard. I also I I don't you know, obviously, I don't wanna sit here and talk crap about their father. But I have said things like, I know, like, I know he cries sometimes. And in all fairness, when when he was diagnosed, they did things a different way.
Sure.
So he doesn't necessarily understand this or this or this. But, you know, your daddy's had a lot of heart catheterizations, and your daddy has had poor wound healing from his surgery, and and your daddy is pretty much on the verge of, like, kidney failure. Like, there are things that we don't wanna do the way daddy did it because we don't wanna end up that sick.
How does he defend his opinion versus his outcomes?
I don't I don't know that he correlates all of it together.
Really? Is he is he what they call?
I mean, I think, again, it goes back to that poor me. Like, I just had the crappiest luck. Can you believe?
Oh, this is what my surgery?
And and now I have to have surgery again. Because it didn't heal right.
So it's not my decisions that leave me with poor healing. It's
Mhmm.
It's woe is me. This this stuff keeps happening to me. Right. Oh, and he and and you've at some point I mean, you sound angry at him. So at some point, you've blurted out to him that this is his fault.
Right? Like and so he doesn't yeah. No. I know you did for sure. I've been married for a long time.
I my wife likes me, and she would do that to me. So I assume I assume that you did it already. But but when there's no, like, come to Jesus moment for him there? He doesn't pause or nothing.
I mean, he tells me that he's gotten better. He went back. He got insurance. He got a pump. He got or he was on a pump for a long time, but he got CDM finally to talk to his pump.
No. No. I'm going all the time, and I'm getting my a one c down. I'm getting my a one c down. And then I think it has kind of lapsed again.
I think he got tired of it. And maybe he ran out of money to buy some GMs.
Can I tell you if I talk to him, I bet you I'd I would have it's fun? You know, listen. It's fun through your perspective. But, like, if I if I had a conversation with him and never met you, I bet you there's a a real story in there that would break your heart. Mhmm.
You know?
Probably.
Yeah. Even if, like, even if he's made bad decisions along the way. Like, still, like Mhmm. I I take I I would take his point. He was diagnosed a long time ago.
The ideas were different. He was diagnosed at 18. Doesn't sound he didn't go to college. Right?
Right.
Right. So he jumped right into the working world. Like, it sounds I bet you his parents didn't help him much with it. If they did, they probably didn't know what they were talking about because nobody did at that point. Things changed over the years.
What her daughter can do herself50:05
He didn't pivot with it. He starts having bad out poor outcomes. You gotta start protecting your psycho your psyche eventually because when you start realizing it's your fault, that's a that's a tough pill to swallow. You you know what I mean?
Oh, yeah. I can't need the insurance. I mean, insulin is expensive.
And These are the reasons
are expensive. And I mean yeah. Like, that's that's my fault. It's
right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, a lot of that could be completely realistic.
And yeah. It's just it's just a terrible situation to be in. But It is. But for you, from your perspective, your main concern now is that this doesn't bleed over into your daughter's life and become her her situation too. Yeah.
Correct.
So so I guess then because I heard you say you don't wanna speak poorly of them, and and and I appreciate that because, you know, my parents were divorced too, and it's not fun when they
Yeah. I mean, I probably was very bitter in the beginning.
Oh, sure.
For part of your life. Wait. Take this with your life. Will admit that it is hard to sense yourself in front of the children. So Well,
yeah. You probably also don't want her ended up with a guy like him. Correct. Which she's probably gonna do because it's her dad. You know what I mean?
Although it didn't happen to you. You ran you said it, Your daughter's gonna end up with a jerk, and you ran away from a nice guy. We're all screwed. How do you think of that? But Right.
But so that is the real goal there, right, is that, you know, she grows up understanding without overwhelming her, you know, the the realities of what's going on, that you're gonna have to get her through, like, her teen years and through, like, her college age and and somehow be a a good partner to her till she ends up in her twenties because, obviously, you could've used somebody in your mid twenties telling you what to do. And Exactly. Trust me. I I should've I so I needed somebody too. And and then and then you have to, like you know, you have to you you you find a way to be involved without overwhelming them or being too involved.
And it's very, very difficult. Like, it's very difficult. If you think this thing is about, like, is about, you know, oh, I figured out diabetes, and we know how to bolus now, and my kid's eight, and it's going along, and that's great, you're out of your mind. Because then your kid's gonna turn 12 or 13, and there's gonna be a rebellion age in there, and hormones are gonna come, and that's gonna be another thing. And then just when you think that's over, they're probably gonna wanna smoke cigarettes or vapes or whatever these freaking kids do now.
Definitely gonna be weed if they've seen what's going on. And then you're gonna have to make yourself through that. Then they're gonna start to drink or not and then have sex or not and then go to college or not and then meet some dickhead or a nice per who knows? And then blah blah blah. And then the and if you get the girls, they're gonna wanna have babies at some point.
I mean, you think this is stopping, and you're wrong. Right. You know? Like, it's it's about it's about being flexible, seeing the problem in front of you, and trying as hard as you can to be as good as you can about it. And then just keep, you know, keep being there for people and showing up.
I hate to say stuff like that, but you gotta keep showing up for people. You gotta find a way to forgive each other, you know, to be kind even when you don't wanna be, and, you know, just shoot for the best every day. And some days go incredibly bad, like, poorly. And you gotta be able to, like, shirk that off and keep moving. And, you
know Exactly.
And if you can't, then some of these things are what happened. So I don't know. And then you're involved with other people, and they get to make their own decisions. And that they're not exactly on board with, like, doing the thing or, you know, being happy or, you know, they're not as enlightened as you are or vice versa. I don't know what you're supposed to do.
You should've just I don't know. Maybe they should make sex maybe they should make sex robots. You know?
Yeah. I I mean, I've had conversations with her. I mean, we still talk about it. I told her I'll be here for her as long as she needs me to be managing what I can manage from my end. But, yes, eventually, she's gonna have to to do it.
You know, she's gonna have to make decisions. She's gonna have to, you know Yeah. Hopefully, I'm around for a while.
What do you think about her personality? Do you think she's think she's wired right for this? Because, you know, I I've come to look like, imagine after talking to so many people that also some of this is just it's not within your control. Meaning, like, you are the kind of person you are, generally speaking. Mhmm.
Some people are just more you know?
Yeah. She's a very spunky child. She always has been my spunky, outgoing like, she went to school and loved it because it was social out of her. And then, oh, by the way, we're I think we're learning in the background. You know what I mean?
Like, she loved interacting with, you know, people and and all that. She was my very spunky child. Since diagnosis, she has dealt with a lot of anxiety problems, getting made fun of. I mean, the school is not as fun for her anymore. There are a lot of things that are very, very hard for her, and she gets very nervous doing.
But I think that she has a very strong personality, and she is I I she's very strong. She is a very strong girl, and I think she will get there.
Yeah.
She's just young, she wants to have fun. It's hard to have fun when you have this, you know, that that you have to deal with in the background.
Yeah. And then and then being kids on top of that.
Right.
How old is she again around?
She's 11.
Yeah. Oh, it's probably not gonna get better right right away.
Yeah. Some
some sometimes these girls are very mean to each other. Mhmm. These boys
are mean to each other.
Yeah.
Boys. Mean.
Boys just hit each other usually. That's better, honestly, because that ends, you know, pretty quickly. And then you just have resentment, and it's quiet in the background. Jeez. No.
No. I've seen some I've seen some mean kid stuff with, you know, my kids, their friends over the years. And and you're right. If you keep going, it all does sort of work itself out. You know?
It's not it's not like it's I mean, unless some of you were out there still living through middle school and high school as adults, and then I I would tell you that's a different problem. But
Yeah.
Yeah. Wow. What pump does she use?
She's on the same Moby.
The Moby. And you like it?
We love it.
Okay.
Good. Good.
What is her A 1C, did you say?
Well, her last one was 6Point2. But since diagnosis, we haven't been above a seven since her follow-up. She's had 6Point2, 6.3, 5.7, 5.4. Just kinda we're there in the, you know, five, sixes low sixes now.
Oh, good for you. That's awesome. Mhmm. What what's the key? Like, what what where what do you think like, if you had to boil down your daily regimen to, you know, the the small things that keep you in that situation, what do you think they are?
Settings, and being trusted to change them57:07
Pre bolus in breakfast, especially, is our big one. Breakfast pre bolus is huge. She doesn't necessarily have time at lunch and school, which we need to figure out certain things that way, but she's still insulin resistant in the mornings. Pre bolus thing for breakfast is huge. And then we correct a high.
We don't sit on a high blood sugar. Mhmm. If I see it climbing, I'm gonna grab it before it goes high. I'm you know, I I don't sit on it and say the pump will fix it. The pump will bring it down, and we'll give her a correction.
I I you know, and I have her pump set to alarm her at school. I can't necessarily see it. I can follow, you know, what her numbers are, but she can't I can't get ahold of her unless I call the school, and then school calls the classroom, and then she gets all embarrassed and whatever. So I told her, said, your alarm is gonna go off. Your alarm goes off because you've been high for however many minutes, you need to take a correction.
And she does.
Cool. You're not allowed to text her?
I am not allowed to text her. No. Just
happened, and then nobody knew.
Yeah. We've been working on her accommodation plan. It's a private school. There's you know, we don't do five zero fours. I'm still having I'm still finding that now with the five zero four.
But there's no school nurse. There's, you know, there are things that and they they have snacks or something in the middle of the day, and she's not allowed to call me from her phone to find out, you know, how many carbs are in it. And I was like, you planned that snack, she can call me. Well, she can call you from the office. She's not walking all the way down to the office and just not on the party because you planned a snack and didn't tell us.
What's the difference about where she calls you from?
It's not gonna be her kids if she has a cell phone.
Oh, boohoo.
You wanna talk about fair?
Yeah. Tell those kids, get an incurable autoimmune disease, and then they can have a phone too and use it whenever they want. Perfect. Exactly. Yeah.
Makes total sense to me. I love it when people don't make sense. It's my favorite thing.
Even older older kids look at her and say, oh, that's not fair. She can just carry a dog. I was like,
what? Douchebag. Hanging around there. You're children are assholes. Just wanted everybody.
I just want you to know. You're out there just being little douchebags every which way. Can you imagine caring about somebody else's cell phone revolving around their ability to take care of their their health.
And it's not like she's on Snapchat or any social media or doing anything fun with it throughout the day. It is there for her blood sugar.
I don't know how quickly humans' IQs are rising, but I'd like to go to sleep and wake back up when they go up about 30 more points.
Jesus. Yeah.
Exactly. Oh my god. Alright. Well, this is depressing. I mean, I appreciate you sharing this with me.
Can we call this do you think we can call this episode daddy issues?
That'd be fine.
K. I mean, I'm definitely doing that. Tell me what else we should have been talking about that I didn't because I know I took you in a way you didn't expect. So what what did you
from here. I I appreciate that you have a way that you that you take things. They're just just a way of managing Finding out you know, I didn't know for the longest time that I could have been getting Dexcom cheaper through a DME company than I was through a pharmacy. And, you know, being the insurance holder, you know, I I you know, all of these things, like, having insurance, first of all, I should not have to pay as much as I do for insulin or Dexcoms or any of it. You know?
And then, yeah, again, dealing with cost sharing and stuff like that with a co parent that doesn't doesn't like to lend a lot of help in those directions either. I mean, it's it's a lot. You know? And, yeah, I just I wish I would've known from the beginning. Hey.
I need to call the insurance company right now and find out what is the best way to be getting this or this, or how do I handle I mean, I don't know. Maybe I could be getting insulin cheaper if I didn't use my insurance. I don't even know. You know? It's it's crazy.
It really is.
Yeah. Well, what what happened? You're just talking to somebody one day online, and you're like, oh, wait. What what is this now? Is that how you figured it out?
Well, they they said something about it being covered through DME. And I was like, what is DME? Mhmm. And they're like, oh, it's durable medical equipment. I was like, okay.
And then again, I'm still picking up these Dexcoms from a pharmacy. And I was like, okay. But I thought these were supposed to be covered better. Well, they're covered under DME. Somebody tell me what that means.
You know? And then I finally had to realize there are, you know, durable medical equipment companies, and then I had to call them. And even the insurance company will say to you, yeah, that's covered under DME at 18%. But they won't tell you, you're getting them out of pharmacy. You need to call this company that we work with, and this company will get them to you cheaper.
Yeah. You just have to start looking around.
Yeah. No. It's a lot to have to do when all this other stuff is also stuff that you have to do. Mhmm. Yeah.
I mean, there's only so many hours in a day at at some point. You you know? Correct. What are gonna do? I listen.
I just picked up I just picked up Synthroid for my wife at the at the Walgreens, and Mhmm. It was way too expensive. And I know we can get it mail order cheaper. And I left there, and I thought, let me let's go home and, like, set that back up again. Because we had it set up, then my wife changed jobs.
My wife is the responsible adult in our relationship. She has, like, a job with insurance and stuff like that. And she doesn't make a podcast.
But I'm sure your contributions are quite quite a bit.
We're doing okay. But still, like, it's just it's you know, she's like the or she's like a real adult. And and so she switched jobs, and we, you know, we just kind of they switched, you know, mail order pharmacies. And we just never switched it back. And I thought, oh, I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it. Now I realize she's had this new job for, like, four years. I've probably paid I'm not even kidding. I've probably paid hundreds of dollars in Synthroid that I haven't had to pay over the last couple of years just because, like, I just haven't been able to sit down and do I have to listen.
Today, I gotta get my kids have to get new doctors today. Arden needs a new endocrinologist because ours has a life, apparently. And I tried to explain to her that that wasn't okay. She didn't listen. I really did.
I said to her, hey. You've been married a long time. You've probably had enough of that guy. Why don't you just let him go and you stay here and be our doctor? She laughed and said, no.
I think I'm gonna go with him. And I was like, I mean, to each their own. You you know? Right. Can I can I tell you that that our that Arden's doctor who, you know, helps my whole family, who's who's doctor Benito from episode four thirteen about the thyroid stuff?
She is such a lovely person that that her practice is holding a going away party for her that's being attended by hundreds of people. It's a surprise party. She doesn't know. And hundreds of people have RSVP'd to come say goodbye to her at this party. It it just it just kinda goes to show, like, what could happen if you just put people first and like, she's a successful happy lady.
And, you know, like and I I watch her, and all she seems to do is care about the people she's helping and put an honest effort into it. You know? Stays up to date on things, isn't afraid to try to help, will talk to you. You know, like, you know, talking about your your freaking kid's school that won't let her call from one phone but can call from another phone because we don't want people to be upset. So, lady, if I texted her and said, hey.
I got a problem. She text me right back. She never told me it was okay to text her. You you know what I mean? Like, she's a she's a person who who at one point when Arden was getting started on on GLP meds, it was back before, like, you know, we weren't gonna get it covered.
She's like, I have samples. You can come get them. And Oh, wow. And then I said, oh, okay. Well, on Monday, I'll come down.
She's say, to my house and get it. It's fine. And then just texted me her phone number. You know? Like
That's amazing.
Yeah. Like, just a good person.
An endocrinologist who gives out her number1:05:14
And Yeah. I I love our endocrinologist, and she she makes me happy because she she trusts in some of the changes that I make on her pump and on all her settings. And she's like, oh, yeah. You know, you change them. If you have a question, can call me.
If not, you know, I I trust that you're gonna, you know, figure out what you need to know on that. I think if I would have gotten one of the other doctors in that practice, he might not have appreciated some of the changes I made without calling him first. Mhmm. We really do have wonderful endocrinologists that we see. But I haven't had doctors in the past.
I'm just like, oh, you shouldn't have waited to call through the office. You had a problem on the weekend? Here. Here's my cell phone number. Yeah.
Like, those those people are wonderful. They're fantastic.
It's super simple to make a to make an impact on people. And, I mean Mhmm. You know, just the other day, I I had a person ask me the other day, how did you like, how do you keep this podcast going so long? Podcasts don't last this long is what was what somebody said to me. And I was like, oh, I'm like, it's simple.
Like, I get up every day, and I think about, like, I wonder what would help everybody. And then I just try to do that. And sometimes it works out great, and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, I don't feel badly about it. I just pivot and try something else and, you know, continue to wake up with the idea that I think maybe this is helping somebody and then, you know, try again.
It's it's really not hard to, you know it's not hard to do a good thing and the right thing at the same time. And Right. And Go ahead.
In an ever changing world where technology is always changing and treatments for things are always changing, I mean, there's so much more to to touch upon that you can just you can just keep going. There's always new technologies or new ways that you you know? You're talking about GLPs. You're talking about changes in in insulin pumps. You're talking about, you know, certain like, the just certain CGMs that you wouldn't expect them to do the things that they do.
Like, there's always ways to keep going. Yeah. Some of your new series on the podcast are just so interesting.
Thank you. Well
Because there's always more to touch upon.
But not just that too. And you've now you're a part of it too. But, like, you know, think about seriously about a 26 year old girl with type one who's listening to this today and going, oh god, and starts recognizing stuff about a guy she's with that you just said. And maybe maybe she'll stop for a second before she throws in with him, makes two kids, and spends the next nine years figuring out this wasn't the right thing to do. Like, seriously.
You know what mean? Like, that's a real value to somebody. And, you know, and everywhere in between. I I mean, you have no idea how many people have sent me private messages about their reptiles, which is just the thing that, like, I offhandedly talk about, like, once in a while. And there's a lot of people out there listening.
They're like, oh, I have one of those, or I do that, or I really like it. I find it com like, I get, like, really nice notes from them about that.
Mhmm. I
got one recently where somebody said they didn't realize they were keeping one of their pets incorrectly and learned it by listening to me and then fix it, the pet seems happier. I was like, Yeah. Didn't expect that one
when I started doing this. Interesting. Mhmm.
Why she talks back to the podcast1:08:17
Yeah. It's just it's just a great way to it's just a great way to talk to people. It it really is. I will
find myself I listen to your podcast. I did it a lot when I was driving, but now I do it when I'm on my walks in the morning. And I will find myself responding. Don't tell people that way. Yeah.
I think he can hear me.
Listen. I do that sometimes. I'm listening to people's podcast, and they hear somebody say something. I go, oh, what don't say that. And then it comes out.
It feels like you're in a movie. You're like, oh, no. Don't go in that door. No. But that's but that's a great fee that's a it's a really nice feeling to feel comfortable in a setting that you weren't gonna get invited into otherwise.
So, like, it's easy to say, like, find community. Where am I supposed to find that at exactly? You you know, like, again, there's only so many hours in the day. Listen. If if I'm if I started a podcast right now with four guys in their forties who all grew up with diabetes, and they got, you know, a bad start because the technology and the and the medicine wasn't there yet, and they had trouble pivoting to it.
And they all sat around and bitched about it and then let their feelings out while they were doing it. Your husband will listen to that. Your ex husband will listen to that, and it would help him. Like, I can't make a podcast for everybody. Like, do know mean?
But,
like Right.
The truth is is that that that would be him going, oh, here's a group of people who understand my situation. I don't have to actually stand up, raise my hand, and say I need help so I can privately look into it. And at the same time, get some feedback that resonates with me, start to make little decisions, and then before you know it, you pop out the other side, and you've changed. Like, it's just it really does work. But to keep it going for so long in an ecosystem that is fighting with me constantly like, you have no idea.
I I really don't wanna sound like I'm complaining. I'm sure I do. But to keep something going in a social media, like, digital world for twelve years is a sheer act of will. Like Yeah. That this this ecosystem is trying to get rid of me every day, and it's trying not to get rid of me.
It's trying to get rid of everybody. All it wants is for new people to start making content constantly, and it wants to throw away the old people. Mhmm. That's what it wants. Right?
It because it doesn't I think they would argue that they want democratization, but what I think is that they don't want anybody to be more powerful than the whole. So, like, it used to be YouTube, for example, would make some people really, really famous. But now it's not doing that the same way anymore. Mhmm. It's it's and and that feels on purpose to me.
Because I think when that happens, then the channel gets the ad money instead of the platform. That makes sense? Yeah. Yeah. So if I make a if you make a YouTube video and it gets, you know, a couple tens of thousands, couple 100,000, like, views, that's great.
It drag a 100,000 people into YouTube, and then YouTube serves those people ads. But when you get big enough that somebody offers you an ad on your YouTube channel, now suddenly YouTube's not getting that anymore. You're getting that. Mhmm. And so I don't think they want anybody to be bigger than the than the machine.
No. That's probably true. I never thought about that.
You wouldn't have to because you don't have a dumb job like mine. But and god bless you for not having to do it. Facebook you know, all I am to Facebook is I'm a carrot on a stick. Like, so I wanna create a Facebook group for all the reasons you discussed an hour ago because I know what
Mhmm.
A great thing it can be for people. And what they want is people to stay in Facebook so they can serve the mats. So anytime I try to share content with you that has a link in it, or now that AI is so good, anytime I try to share content with you that even intimates in its text that I'm asking you to leave Facebook, it it makes sure that nobody sees my post. So I can't say to you, hey. Today on the podcast, we had, I don't know, Katie Beth Hand on who, you know, is in the Elodon trial and
Right.
Free events. Right. Go click on this link to listen to more. If I say that, 84,000 people in my in my private group, incredible activity in there, like, as far as people online and in the group. If I make that post, it will not show it to even 500 of you.
Wow.
Yeah. And but if I rewrite it and it doesn't indicate that I'm asking you to leave, then it'll leave it up. And the and then what happens is people come to me, and they go, I don't understand. Why wouldn't you put a link in here so I can go listen
to this?
And I'm like, oh,
well Yeah.
You you know? And it just it goes like that. It it's just over and over and over. And
You see that on so many apps. Like, even TikTok will be like, oh, but follow me on the you know? And they have to give you a a another term for it because you can't say, you
know Yeah.
Instagram or you can't say you know?
And it doesn't work. I've tried I spent last year 2025 was last year, I spent $5,000 of my own money to open up another group on a different platform that doesn't control people, and getting people to it was completely impossible. So Facebook does have a a stranglehold on on the population. So it's okay. So it didn't work, and it was worth a shot.
It would have really helped you guys, but, like, it's just not how people think about it. So I just pivoted away from it. I like, okay. Well, then that didn't work. And, actually, it was my money, but I got a company to cover it.
So they paid me the money to do the thing, and then I paid the taxes on the money, and then I had to pay the thing. So it actually cost me money when it was all said and done. And but it still felt worthwhile to me because I thought it would be more valuable for you all, but it just didn't it didn't pan out. Like, people it's not what people wanted to do. So so right on.
Like, I I'm not fighting against what people wanna do, but I'm telling you, like, it it is a constant struggle. Even Apple Podcasts, like, they retune that that's where most of my listeners are at in Apple. Mhmm.
Right.
But they retune their algorithm all the time. Mhmm. So what they and they're doing the same thing is that they just don't want anybody to be too big. It's it's I don't understand the
Right. The cycle. Even things as simple as you would listen to one episode, and then it would automatically push you into the next one. Now it pushes you to a different podcast.
Yes. Yeah. That's by the way, if anyone from Apple is listening, fuck you. So, I mean I mean, really, like, difficult because I also pride myself in putting out a lot of good content. And so, like, it's I just the way I think of it is, you know, I've been I've said it before, but, like, I grew up listening to radio.
What she'd want another parent to know1:15:05
And, you know, Howard Stern didn't come on on Monday and then come back next Monday. He was on Monday to Friday, and you didn't get to listen to all of it. But it was always there, you knew it was there. Right?
Right.
But there was also nowhere else to go. If you wanted to listen to something like that, people talking, then that's you would go back and tune into that. I I can't even accomplish that now. So at some point, like, it it really is like, it it's a it's a it's a hump. Like, it really just is difficult.
But yet this is the best way to accomplish it still.
Sammy, it really is. And and the fact that you're still doing it after your daughter is older and in college and, you know, it's it's like you've done your job at home almost, you know, but you still have so many people that you're helping.
I like doing it too. Like, it it is nice. Like, I'm obviously very chatty. I don't know what would happen if I didn't get to talk at least once a day. Yeah.
I'm sure at some point, would just lose my mind, run around outside. But, no, I appreciate that. It it well, there's more to learn, and there's more to go. This just because I'm not as hands on with her every day doesn't mean that also over the last twelve years, I didn't learn from the countless 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 year old people that I spoke to that they still have trouble too. And that and that, by the way, if they don't handle that trouble, then it follows them into their thirties, and it follows them through their pregnancies.
And they one day end up being the divorced ex husband of a lovely woman who used to be a nerd or who's a nurse because who knows why? Because they have Mhmm. Weird attachments to whatever. They're not good with their they're not great with their their own health. It's causing them other problems.
Now those people are, like, you know, having heart catheterizations, but then telling their daughter who now suddenly has type one diabetes, it's okay. Don't worry about it. The pump will get it. Mhmm. Like, I'm trying to help break all those different cycles that we've uncovered over the years of doing this.
Like like I said to an advertiser recently, and they asked me how much longer I thought I was gonna do this because I am I shouldn't say me. The podcast is a big part of some people's advertising, like, ideas. Like right? Mhmm. And so they don't want me to just, like, you know, catch fire, flutter off, and go.
And I was like I said, look. I think I can do it for another decade, and I think that would be valuable for people through there. Like, into Arden maybe having her own children. Like, I think that's maybe when I'm I'm gonna run out of insight. And and I said, and I think that that'll be, like, the extent of, like, you know, being helpful for people.
I think I can do that. I said, but you guys gotta you know, everyone's gotta stick with me here because
Right.
It's you know, I I'm still young, and I have bills. And I'm not ready to retire yet, like, age wise. I'm also not ready to retire yet, like, financially. I can't just stop working. Like so if I can't do this for a living, then I don't do this.
And then I think you lose whatever whatever this ecosystem is that I've put together, it'll disappear. Like, I think it needs it needs to stay so that it can unearth other things and unearth other conversations and hopefully lead to other people's success. Or
I agree.
That's my goal. Nevertheless, if Facebook would just leave me alone for five minutes, I would be on if, like, literally I'm being serious. If just Facebook would calm down, then this podcast would be the biggest thing in the world because then 84,000 people would absolutely know when something was coming out, and they might go check it out. And then, you know, then you don't know what that would do for people with type one. Because if it got that big that it spread out that much, then just try to imagine try to imagine your situation specifically.
Right? And one day you get good information. Now look at the success your daughter's having her her health success.
Mhmm.
And there's two million people living with type one diabetes or whatever the the number is, like, in America. And and I'm only I'm reaching more of them than anyone else and still not reaching a big fraction of them. Right. Right? Just imagine that if every just forget me and my dumb talking and all that stuff.
Just imagine if everybody woke up tomorrow who had type one diabetes, made their way through the pro tip series, and then never came back to me ever again. And they learned to knock down high blood sugars and to pre bolus their meals and how fat impacted them and how to stick up for themselves at a doctor's office. Maybe that's all they took from it. Just imagine how much better everybody's situation would get if they just had that information. Exactly.
Yeah. So if you work at Facebook and you're listening and you have type one diabetes, maybe turn that dial the other way on me that I hear you guys have because I know it's there and you're controlling how much I'm allowed to talk to people. So may maybe just leave me alone for an hour and see if I can, you know, change the world in a more meaningful way. Anyway, now I'm complaining. Alright.
Jennifer Garner was with us again. Star of alias. Once married to Ben Affleck. We never said his name today, but, obviously, Ben Affleck, terrible person with type one diabetes who doesn't take care of his family. That was all facetious.
Your name is not Jennifer Garner. But it did occur to me while we were talking because we called you Jennifer Garner in the beginning as you were talking about your ex. People are probably like, oh, poor Ben Affleck has really taken it today. By the way, I like Ben Affleck a lot. I I Right.
I'm a fan is what I'm saying. Yeah. And you people should be ashamed for mocking him while he was dealing with alcoholism. Seriously. Stronk with the Internet.
Guy's trying to take his kid to school. Anyway alright. Anything else? Anything I missed?
No. No. I don't I don't think so.
I appreciate your time. Hold on for me one second.
Okay? Okay.
Today's show is sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care, the Eversense three sixty five, and Touched by Type one, who you can learn more about on Facebook, Instagram, and at touchedbytype1.org. Head now to tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox and check out today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care. I think you're gonna find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the Tandem MOBI system. I'd like to thank the Eversense three sixty five for sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast. And remind you, if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every fourteen days, you want the Eversense CGM.
Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. One year, one c g m. If you or a loved one is newly diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're seeking a clear practical perspective, check out the bold beginnings series on the juice box podcast. It's hosted by myself and Jenny Smith, an experienced diabetes educator with over thirty five years personal insight into type one. Our series cuts through the medical jargon and delivers straightforward answers to your most pressing questions.
You'll gain insight from real patients and caregivers and find practical advice to help you confidently navigate life with type one. You can start your journey informed and empowered with the juice box podcast. The bold beginning series and all of the collections of the juice box podcast are available in your audio app and at juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu. Thank you so much for listening. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app like Spotify or Apple Podcasts, please do that now.
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