#1914 Kebab Explosion
Kebab Explosion
Diagnosed with LADA at 37 while managing a dive bar in Frankfurt, Scotty spent his first week with type 1 alone in COVID quarantine — handed an insulin pen and no instructions. He talks about teaching himself, diabetic burnout, therapy, and where he landed five years later.
Jump to a moment
- Adult-onset type 1 gets talked out of easily. Scotty dropped roughly 10 kilos in eight weeks, was drinking liters of water a night, waking five or six times to urinate, and was exhausted — and he attributed all of it to overwork and a rough schedule. There was no diabetes anywhere in his family, so nothing pointed him at it. His wife was the one who said the word out loud first. He was 37.
- His first week with type 1 had almost no education in it. He arrived at the hospital during the peak of COVID, tested positive on admission, and spent a week in an isolation ward where the diabetes nurses wouldn't come. A nurse handed him a rapid-acting pen and told him to put it on a number; when he asked which number, she said she didn't know. He filled the gap himself — reading, Reddit, Think Like a Pancreas, and eventually this podcast.
- The diagnosis is what got him into therapy. He describes serious diabetes burnout in that first year, depression, and dark thoughts he didn't feel able to say out loud to his wife — not because he couldn't talk to her, but because he didn't want her carrying it. He told her he needed to talk to someone, went five or six sessions, and still uses the grounding exercises he learned there. His framing: change was forced on him once, which taught him change wasn't going to kill him.
- Working nights with LADA created problems a schedule can't fix. Bar shifts meant going low behind the bar and sitting on the stairs with a cola until he came back up, drinking while working, and one 3AM alone in the bar where his phone read LOW with no number and he couldn't tell whether he was low or drunk. Moving to a driving job more than doubled his basal need — he now adjusts it for workload and for heat, which is a variable worth watching in any routine. Settings changes belong in a conversation with your own care team.
- He got better numbers by holding on less tightly. Scotty says his A1C at his last check was 5.6 with roughly 85% time in range, and that when he was hyper-focused and hovering over the data his results were worse, not better. He checks his sensor five or six times a day, has turned off his high alert to protect his sleep, and keeps a low alert on. He is still in a slow honeymoon five years in, which is part of why his numbers look the way they do — and he has decided not to antibody-test his two boys, because he doesn't want to spend years waiting.
- Think Like a Pancreas — Gary Scheiner's book — the first thing Scotty read after diagnosis, before he found the podcast.
- Bold Beginnings series — The newly diagnosed series — the education Scotty had to assemble for himself in a quarantine room.
- Diabetes Pro Tip series — The core management series: insulin timing and amount, basal, corrections, variables.
- Mental Wellness series — Episodes with therapist Erika Forsyth on burnout, diagnosis grief, and asking for help.
- Diabetes Variables series — Heat, activity, and workload — the things Scotty adjusts his basal around.
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook group — The private community — 85,000+ members. Everyone is welcome.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) — Free, confidential, 24/7. Call or text 988. Outside the US, Find A Helpline lists services by country at findahelpline.com.
Every word of the conversation
Welcome Back & Episode Setup0:07
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A Kiwi in Germany, Married for the Visa1:53
Good day. My name is Scotty. I'm a 42 year old Kiwi living over here in Germany from New Zealand originally, with type one point five diabetes.
You have a lot of.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. How long have you been in Germany?
I've been here I first arrived in 2011 and then did two years here and then went home for two years with then girlfriends and then come back again. Oh, no. We we got married because I was gonna get deported. So we got married and then went back home for two years and come back in 2013. And then been here since
She's German?
She's German. Yes.
I was gonna get deported.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My visa run out, so I was close.
Let me ask you. How long have you been married?
Fifteen years now.
Okay. So it was more than just a favor?
It was. It was. We would have ended up getting married at some point anyway, but the the marriage was the quick, the quick and easy way for the v, for the visa and to stay.
I will be married for thirty years this summer, and we got married. Jeez. We got married for car insurance. So
Hey. Hey. See? Yeah. This way this works around, and it works.
So yeah.
Every once in a while, something works out.
Yeah. Exactly.
So when were you diagnosed? How long ago?
The Signs He Talked Himself Out Of3:06
In 2021. In February 2021.
Over five years?
Yes. Yeah. Okay.
At what age?
Where am I now? 42 now. Would have been 37.
Okay. Okay. Surprised? Did you feel it coming? Did you have, like, health issues that were creeping
on you? Should have been a bit more wiser to the to the front of it, really. I just put it down to stress at my my previous job. I dropped, like, 10 kilos in, like, eight weeks and just tired all the time. No energy.
No power. Doing, like, night shifts till, like, four or five in the morning and sleeping till one and then getting up and then going back to bed at, like, 03:00 for an hour before I had to go back to work again because I've said no energy.
Okay.
And the thirst would have been the giveaway, which I thought it clicked. I was drinking, like, two, three little leases of water a night before I go to bed, and then I'm up like a 70 year old man getting up, like, five, six times a night to go and then having having to drink more water and going back to bed.
Just thinking what can can you contextualize what you thought about the the frequent urination?
I didn't really click. You know? I'm kinda I grew up in, like, in rural New Zealand in the middle of nowhere, you know, where, you know, kinda brought up with a theory. You know? You don't tell anyone any problems, you just just get on with life.
You
know? Mhmm.
And, yeah, it was a super busy period at work at that time, and I was just working and home working, like, six days a week and just, yeah, doing 12 days pretty much every day. And I just put it down to overwork and exhaustion, really. What kind
of work? Yeah. Office, outdoors? What do you do?
Bar bar manager. Like, a dive bar.
Oh, okay. So you're it's later at night, you're hustling around constantly, all that stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It should've collected.
Mean, I was eating, like, six bananas a night at work kinda thing as well because I just I couldn't Well, do just always hungry.
Do you have any diabetes in your family?
No. No one's ever had it in the history of my family, not even type two.
Well, then why would why would you think it should have clicked with you then?
Well, just with the thirst. Even my wife said, oh, I think you might have diabetes with the thirst, and she was always giving me grief about my diet and stuff because it was pretty, back then, it was pretty average. You know? Finished work at four or five in the morning, pick up a couple of kebabs in the car to drive home and eat the kebabs on the way home for the half hour drive. It's just yeah.
Yeah. She was like, I think you might get diabetes if you keep it like this. No. No. You know?
No. I'm healthy. Just fine.
A nice 4AM kebab. That's
all. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
It's it's the only thing Wait.
Wait. Where are
buying thing often?
Where are you buying that at 04:00 in the morning?
We we have, like, behind my work where I used to work, there's, like, the party district of in Frankfurt, Old Saxonhausen, and it's literally a whole neighborhood block of just bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, right along from each other. And then we call it the Doner Mile. There's one street where there's, like, six or seven kebab shops, a couple of pizza shops, a couple of burger shops. Yeah. Just to feed the drunks.
To feed the drunks. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. It's a it's a feed box for the drunks. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was the only choice for food at that time in the morning. So I literally just walk out of the bar, grab a kebab, jump in the car, and go home.
And on your way.
How about that? Okay. So when do you when does it, like, crystallize to you to the point where you say something, do something?
It got to the point where I was looking I wouldn't say sickly, but I was extremely skinny for my my body size. Like, I'm not huge or anything anyway, but I'm only over my five foot eleven, and I was probably averaging around back then probably about eighty four, eighty five kilo with all the drinking and everything like that. And then I just, started shrinking away pretty much. And Okay. My, I decided to go see my, specialist, and they tested everything, tested my bloods, everything with me and said, no.
You're perfectly healthy. But before you leave, please pee in this cup. Mhmm. So I peed in the cup of the specialist, and then about an hour later, they rang my wife and talked to her because their English wasn't so great. And my my German's pretty average, especially when it comes to, like, doctors and stuff.
I prefer to take my wife to get the words that I don't quite understand. And they said to sure to rush me to hospital right now because my blood sugars were over a thousand
Oh
my gosh. Time of day. And they they couldn't believe I was still up and around and moving and functioning.
So What's the answer to that? Is it your your pancreas is jumping in periodically and pushing your blood sugars back down again?
I'm not a 100% sure, but, yeah, my pancreas is still even now, it's still slightly alive. I'm it's on the it's on the way out, but I'm still in my honeymoon period, like, five years later. No. It's going slow. They put you going very slow.
Did they put you on a GLP? No. Really? Is that not a thing there?
Not ready for diabetes and such. I've got a few mates that are a bit large over here that are taking it for, you know, for health reasons and stuff for their blood pressure and to try and slim down a bit. But, yeah, no. That wasn't that wasn't a thing back then when I first got diagnosed diagnosed over here.
I'll tell you. If you could get a really low dose of it, it might stretch out that honeymoon a little longer for you. Yeah. Are you on ins you're on insulin, though?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm on what am I on? I'm on NovoRapid and Tregel.
Okay. So you're doing MDI. You're shooting.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. At the moment, anyway. I'm I'm in an hour and about a pump, I'm a bit nervous about them as well. So
Okay. Well okay. So they give you the diagnosis. You go to the hospital. How was the hospital stay?
Was it long?
One More Night at Home8:18
It was horrible. I ended up I was supposed to go that night, but I said to my wife, I want one more night at home with the with the boys, and stuff like that. I was it pretty much broke my world really when I found out that I could be diabetic, type one diabetic. Kinda kinda felt like my world was crashing in, if you know what I mean.
Yeah. You you weren't worried about not going to the hospital, though? You felt you felt okay. I wouldn't say okay.
Probably, like, probably the last three weeks to a month before I got that from the doctor. I was having, like, I wouldn't call it mood swings. I had my first ever panic attack. I've never had a panic attack in my life. Mhmm.
I had my first ever panic attack from work just from stress, and I was emotional wreck. It was probably the easiest way to describe it.
Yeah.
I get highly confused, extremely confused, and kind of or brain function would cease to exist.
Mhmm. Random. Panic. I'm overly emotional.
Breaking down in tears out of nowhere and things like that. And I thought I was I thought I was going crazy pretty much. I got a I got a twin brother. He's he's got a touch of schizophrenia and bipolar.
Mhmm. Just a touch?
Just a touch. Uh-huh. A nice way to put it anyway. But yeah. And I was just I started to get paranoid and worried that that was start increasing on me I see.
Kind of thing. Okay. Yeah.
So was was the diabetes I wonder why the diabetes wasn't a lifting of that for you. Like, I would have thought, oh, diabetes. At least I'm not crazy. Or did you those two things
not Well, I didn't quite understand it back then either because I didn't really know any diabetics. I've never really never really met any before beforehand kinda thing. Right.
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Quarantine, a Pen, and Nobody to Ask12:08
No. Not quite that, but I just, with the diabetes, I just thought not that my life is over, but just that I'm gonna have to make a lot of changes, and I can't I'm gonna miss out on all the fun and all the exciting things. You know?
So you
just Yeah.
Maybe I'll sit at the house one more day and pretend this isn't happening?
Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanted one more night at home with the kids and the wife and Yeah.
That's something Just get get get it around my head pretty much.
Yeah. I I appreciate you sharing that. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, okay. So you get to the hospital. Do you keep fighting it in your head, or do you
Kind of. Are they they in the morning, they got me to go see my house doctor here in town. I live in a little village out of Frankfurt about twenty, twenty five minutes out of Frankfurt City. And they sent me to the Haussard's to my normal doctor just to go get a blood reading and for her to find a hospital for me to go to. So I went in in the morning, and they went in about, I don't know, 07:30 in the morning.
I went in, and they took my blood sugars with the old finger prick just to see what my resting blood sugar was. And my resting blood sugar was about three sixty or three seventy, I think, in the morning Mhmm. Without eating anything or, yeah, having breakfast, just a coffee before I went. And then my house doctor is an absolute legend. She's she's phenomenal.
She managed to get me into the diabetic unit here at the Frankfurt Hospital in Sachsenhausen, which is actually one of the best diabetic units in all of Germany. So she managed to get me a placement into there. So I went straight from her home, packed my computer and bits and bobs, and straight into the hospital. And it was during the peak of corona as well over here, so I had to take a corona test when I got to hospital.
Oh.
And that's when they found that I actually had corona as well at the same time.
Did you really?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it was a bit of a shift fest.
I think it's possible those kebabs aren't good for you. Wow. Wow. Yeah.
They are mystery, mate. They're pretty much just lips and leftovers, really, but they do taste really good. So yeah. So, yeah, they ended up putting me into, like, a separate station at the at the time, and I had to wait in there for, like, four or five hours so they could free up a bit in the the quarantine unit for me up in the hospital there.
Mhmm.
And then they got my room ready and said I could move upstairs, and I had to get all masked up and all that kind of stuff and put into my my room by myself for quarantine for a week. And the nurses come in to see me, and they said they can't send any diabetic nurses down to sort me out because they're worried about the corona and transferring it through to the diabetic ward because there's a whole ward there in that hospital for schooling and teaching new diabetics on how to
Okay.
Do the calculations and how to function pretty much. So Did you
did you get a lack of care because they the nurses wouldn't move around the the building?
Yes. Yeah. I would say differently. I had the nurses my first evening in there. I got hooked up to, like, a drip machine to try and bring my blood sugars down.
Mhmm. Just pumping me full of fluids and everything. And the nurse just walked in with a Novo NovoRapid pen and just passed it to me and said, here you go. Use this. And I was like, what do I do with it?
And she was just like, oh, you just put it on a number and put it in your stomach, and then off you go. And I said, well, what number do I put it on? And she's like, I don't know. And I was like, well, great. I don't know either.
Like Oh, I
guess if you don't know, then we'll just whatever.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they ended up going away, coming back a wee while later, and just said, oh, okay.
We'll try this number here. I can't remember. I honestly can't remember what it was, but they said, I'll try this, we'll see what happens. Okay. Yeah.
Okay.
That can't fill you with that can't fill you with confidence, though.
Yeah. No. No. I was a bit shocked. So yeah.
So, yeah, I just did it and got on with it, and it kinda worked out kinda thing. But yeah. So I didn't really get any training or teaching in the first week in there. I just pretty much got the diabetic meals, which weren't very diabetic. They were very carby and starchy.
Mhmm.
Pretty much potatoes, breads. You know? Yeah. Cans of herring, which I absolutely hate.
Cans of herring. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And then, yeah, and drinks. So I ended up having in my balcony window, I think it was it was February, so it's still pretty cool out here. I had I I can't even think how many cans of herring I had sitting out on the windowsill because I couldn't even look at it.
You're painting quite a picture. A Kansan? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, okay.
So how long did they keep you there?
I was in there for a week.
Alright. Wow. And was that because why? Because it was slower because of COVID or because they were having trouble to keep you down? Or
Just just because I kept I was still testing positive, so they had to wait they wanted to wait two days after not testing positive.
Ah, so you were staying there for COVID reasons at that point?
Yeah. Yeah. See. I wasn't even there for the diabetic school. I was in there to separate away.
So So do you use that time I mean, you had you said you had your computer with you. Do you use that time to try to figure something out?
I did, actually. I'm usually a I'm a very highly unorganized individual really in life. You know? I just kinda wing through things and just do it. You know?
Mhmm. But I'm not very that's why I got a German wife. She does all the organization paperwork. So, yeah, I just sat down and did a lot of study online about diabetes, about type one. I did all the learning from New Zealand and Australian websites.
So I was learning all the calculations, you know, carb to insulin ratio and all that kind of stuff with the New Zealand formulas
Okay.
And everything like that, and then just learning about different food types. And then I joined a few groups on Reddit to do with diabetes and just asked them for information and things I should be reading and doing. So I downloaded the free copy of Think Like a Pancreas Mhmm. I think was the first thing I ever read. And then I asked for some more information from people, and they said to give the Juice Box podcast a listen.
Oh, wow.
That's great. Yeah. Well So I started that was the first time I got introduced to your podcast. So I started listening to that too in hospital because I had nothing else to do. I couldn't leave the room.
I couldn't go out. I couldn't do anything. I was locked in there for a week.
Yeah. So Was it helpful? I mean, was the podcast valuable for you?
Yeah. Yeah. I quite I I did learn quite a few things from that as well. I as I said in the email, sent you, I really enjoyed the after dark episodes and things like that and the ones with Jenny. They were they were awesome.
The
magic. Was even listening to a few today at work just to get ready for today, really.
Oh, really? Yeah. That's interesting. Well, then then then then it's nice that somebody, like, suggested the podcast to you. So I would say to the other people who are trash talking me online, look what you would have robbed Scotty of if you would have told him not to come listen to
me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
I think it's it's a very helpful oh, yeah. A very helpful tool. I'm glad. It's I don't listen as often as I used to anymore. I'm kind of in my old age stage now.
Listening to a lot of I don't know what you call it in the stage. Probably, like, NPR radio Yeah. Talk back.
I have to tell you. I I make one of the only podcasts in the world that the goal isn't for you to listen forever. So it's Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'd like you to get to a point where you feel pretty comfortable with your life and you get back to it a little bit.
You know?
Yeah. I just I just jump on and read the titles and the way brief descriptions to see if there's anything that I'm into. And then like, oh, yeah. This sounds alright.
Yeah. I listened to the one last week. You had another dude from New Zealand on that's living in Canada. Yes. I had had to listen to that just to hear the accent because I don't hear it very often over here.
And that was yeah.
Yeah. That's not I can't do the accent for you. I can tell you that
Oh, no. She's a bit of a challenge. Yeah.
What what what made you wanna come do this and and and chat?
Not much. I don't know how to explain, really. I was just oh, it just started January, and I was just thinking. You know? I was listening to quite a few episodes back then in January.
I like, I'd be quite interested in doing this myself. You know? Mhmm. I'm pretty open. Yeah.
I got nothing to hide, so I've got no shame.
Oh, alright.
So I just so I thought I'd send an email and see what was happening.
Alright. Well, we'll we'll pick through your lack of shame and figure something out then. So Yeah. Tell me you know, I guess I would like to know. You went online to learn what you need to do.
What Actually Gave Him Hope19:59
You found some people to point you in different directions. But in the end, like, forget me or anything else. Like, what are the things that you learned that put you on a good path?
Things I learned was just from reading other people's stories online and things like they're just saying it's not I wouldn't say a death sentence, but not it's not a curse. It's not the end of life, if you know what I mean. Mhmm. That's that was my biggest fear mainly. At the time, my boys were only, what, three and seven, I suppose, at that time when I got diagnosed.
And I was just I was more worried than anything for not not being around or not being able to function for them, if you know what I mean. Yeah. So once I read a few other people's experiences and stuff and started reading interviews, a few professional sports players and things like that, just saying it's it's just an adjustment. You don't you know, your life's not over. You will have to make a few changes and things, which I have done, thank god, which Yeah.
To me
pulled me out
of Gave you hope.
Gave me hope, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pulled me out of my rut, really.
And then it's actually probably worked out better for me, actually, to tell you the truth, having diabetes than not. So Well,
I think we'll figure that out in a second. But tell me why why why I mean, you initially think this is it. Right? Like, every everything's destroyed, but what are the what are the thoughts that make you feel like life is destroyed?
What what
what are your concerns? You know?
Was I wouldn't say alienation, but I'm just being left out of things with friends and things like that. Like, I was quite I wouldn't say in the party scene, but, you know, I'm sure I had a few a good drink and hanging out with the boys in the weekends and things like that. And just had a feeling that the alcohol is I wouldn't say it holds friends together, but a lot of my core friend group are big drinkers. Like yeah.
Okay. So you literally thought you weren't gonna be able to go drinking with friends?
Yeah. Pretty much. And just do the things that I'd I like to do kinda thing back then. You know? Kinda I wouldn't say extreme physical activity, but, yeah, physical activity things I like to do.
Yeah. Just
Like, what, like, what what are your what are your physical activities that you enjoy?
I do a lot of bike riding. I used to play a fair bit of I can't play contact sports anymore, but touch rugby.
Mhmm. You don't play contact sports anymore because you're old and you're gonna get hurt Is that why?
No. I've had I've passed my concussion amounts for life.
No. Wait. How many concussions have you had?
It should be should be well over 10. No.
From just messing around for fun?
A mix. Rugby rugby growing up. I played rugby till I was about 22, 23.
Okay.
Started when I was about four years old and played up to then. And then just accidents with the boys in the weekends and stuff like that. You know, play fighting and, you know, attacking each other on the street, having each other's heads on the ground.
Or Yeah. And knock your head around a couple times, you get end up can you describe how long a concussion stays with you when you had one?
Jeez. I wouldn't even tell you. I think the worst one I had was probably three or four days. It was the longest one I had.
Three, four days of just sitting still and not being able to do anything?
No. But just no. Still still working and still doing stuff, but just feeling a bit woozy and dizzy and not not quite myself.
Okay. But yeah. I got it. Interesting. Have you had one you haven't had one since you've been diagnosed?
No. No. No. No. No.
No. I wouldn't say I take things a lot easier now, but I'm I'm not so strenuous as I was. Mhmm.
So How about other autoimmune issues in your family? So do you have other type ones? Do you have No.
Anything else? No one in my family has ever had diabetes type one or, yeah, or type two. I'm trying to think. I think my mom's had shingles and things like that, but that's about it, really, I think. Like yeah.
Few few heart issues and stuff, but, otherwise, yeah, that's pretty much it.
A few heart issues with with people. How about, like Yeah. Yeah. Celiac? Anybody, like how about Hashimoto's?
Nope. No. Have vitiligo, skin coloration changes?
Nope.
Nothing. Just you?
Nothing. Just me.
Yeah. Just just you. Alright. Well, we'll they when they put you on the on the path of MDI Yeah. Is it because you don't want a pump?
Is it because
No. I I I here in Germany, you always start with MDI, and then you gotta prove to them you can control yourself kind of thing with your a one c and things like that. You've usually gotta wait a year to two years over here before you qualify for a pump.
A year to two years before you even qualify. Okay. Yeah. And then what are they? Free given to you by the government?
Yeah. We we have our health insurance is taken out of our wages over here. Mhmm. Kinda think so. The company pays half the insurance, and I pay the other half each month out of my pay.
And, yeah, everything's pretty much covered. I think I think the census Libre three census cost me every three months or six? Yeah. Every three months, I pay €40 for six Census. The insulin's cheapest chips, I think, for a box of Trejail and Nova Rapid, I pay €20 for to two boxes
Okay.
Kind of thing. So it's not excessively expensive over here.
Hey. You're close to dollar per dollar. Right? US to euros? Yeah.
Yeah. Close. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's, like, more like $45.46 dollars, American €40. Okay. Well, that's very reasonable.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not too bad. The cost isn't yeah.
That's not a worry for me at all. So yeah.
Burnout, Dark Days, and Asking for Help25:21
That's awesome. How, you mean you had trouble feeling like like your life was gonna be the same? Did you have worries about your relationship too?
Parts and pieces. Yeah. I had probably the first year. And so what? I'd say I had I ended up going to therapy for the first time in my life.
I got quite severe burnout, diabetic burnout kind of thing.
What did that look like?
I got quite depressed. I was still functioning and doing things, but I I don't know. I just held it back. It's kind of stuff I felt uncomfortable talking to my wife about, but I admitted to her that I think I need to go and talk to somebody, which is a huge step for me. Mhmm.
That's something we don't really do. You know? We Kiwi guys.
Kiwi guys.
Kiwi. Kiwi guys. Yeah. Yeah. You know, as I said earlier, you know, we kinda just bottle it up and hold it down and let it let it build up for ages.
Well, what
if that's the case, if that's how you grew up, then what pushed you to feel like I have to do something I need to tell her?
I just I think the change in me with the diabetes diagnosis and everything, it's just I just decided that I can't not get it out, if you know what I mean. Like
Who's killing it?
It's Yeah. Yeah. Like, I I love my job. I was having good fun, but I'd come home from work at, I don't know, between, like, four and six in the morning absolutely exhausted. I'll be doing, like, twelve hour shifts.
I'm absolutely exhausted. My blood sugars would start crashing pretty much as soon as I got home from from the bit of mix from the extreme work and the few whiskeys and beers I drank at work. So I'd have to come home and eat a ton before I go to bed, and then be wanting to go to bed and then having to sit up and wait for my sugars to climb before I could climb into bed so the alarm didn't go off and wake everybody up.
Did you just end up having a feeling like, can't I can't possibly exist like this forever?
Yeah. Pretty much. I just I got to the point where I was sick of it. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I definitely had some dark thoughts go through my head quite often
About yourself?
About myself and life and if it's really worth All this effort. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. My gosh. Hey. You don't feel like that now?
Oh, no. Oh. No. No. No.
No. No. Life's perfect. I got two healthy boys.
Very, very organized. Yeah. Your perspectives changed. Yeah. The therapist help you with that?
Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. I only went to I only went for about, I think, five or six sessions. Quite expensive over here.
They weren't covered by insurance, so I was paying about a €150 for each session
out of
my own pocket. Yeah. And then, yeah, I went about five or six times, and then, yeah, she helped me a lot, helped me process a lot of stuff, helped me look into myself.
Yeah. Yeah. When when you said to your wife, I I think I need therapy, did she go, oh, no. You definitely do. Thank god you said it, or was she
surprised? Was actually surprised. She was very surprised I brought it up. Yeah. She she couldn't believe I brought it up, actually.
I just said that I needed someone to talk to, and I'd like to talk to you about it, but I don't want to worry you. I don't want to pass this on to you and have you constantly worried about me with the things that I've got going on my head. And she understood.
Scotty, so you you felt comfortable talking to your wife, but you didn't wanna burden her with it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
How did she how did she answer that when you told her that?
She she respected it. She she agreed. I just said that, you know, I don't want you know, it's not that I can't talk to her. I let her knew I I told her it was pretty much all the time when I was feeling down or I wasn't happy or I was feeling burnt out or things like that. But I just I I don't know.
I couldn't stomach telling her what was really going on inside of me, if you know what I mean, with the dark thoughts.
About the dark stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want her to worry.
No. You didn't want her to think you were undervaluing your life together?
Yeah. Yeah. That's and just that, yeah, that I had all this burden on me kind of thing. Like yeah. Because I'm I'm a very happy going guy.
I'm very positive, very enthusiastic. The ADD in me keeps me going and energetic all day every day.
But He he keeps me going.
Yeah. I just I just didn't wanna burden her, really. You know? Yeah.
No. I hear you. I hear you. How did you all that stuff you talked about before the diagnosis, kinda outbursts of of, you know, emotion, things like that, have that all has it all stopped?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I still have the odd day every now and then when I'm fed up and absolutely ticked off and things like that, but that's just life. It's yeah. I've I've learned to accept my diagnosis and what's going on, And Awesome. I think I've adjusted very, very well to it.
Yeah. It's awesome. When something does periodically make you angry, is it the same thing always, or is it not No.
No. It's little things that kinda tick me off kinda thing. Like yeah. I But don't hold on to it for long. I might be ticked off that night, and then the next day, I'm back to my normal self again kinda thing these days now.
Yeah. My therapist taught me a few exercises and things. Yeah. I'm still still using them. I wouldn't say daily, but at least a few times a week.
Grounding exercises?
Yeah. Grounding. And some days when I'll get up, I'll just I wouldn't say meditation, but I'll just sit in a quiet room by myself for five or ten minutes and kinda do my little mantras and things like that just to get my brain and focus going for the day. Or before I jump in my truck for work, I'll yeah. Just try to minutes in there.
Yeah. A little meditation.
Do you
ever do the five four three two one thing?
Yeah. Every now and then as well. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah.
It's great. I mean, it's so great that those tools helped you.
Yeah. Well, they still do.
So Yeah. No. Seriously. I mean and it's it's fantastic. Listen.
You broke free of, you know, I would say societal and probably family structure ideas about therapy. You you know, admitted something to your wife, went to a person, listened to them, actually put the stuff into play. I mean, that's awesome. You know?
Yeah. Yeah. Which is a huge step for me because usually I'd as I said earlier, I just hold it in and not let anybody know what is going on kind of thing.
So And you don't know what changed about you that you didn't wanna do that anymore?
I I it was definitely it was definitely the diabetes diagnosis and things like that. Just you know, knowing that, well, I've got this now. I've had to change. I might as well keep changing going forward. You know?
Oh, so a little oh, so change forced on you, taught you that change wasn't gonna kill you?
Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty interesting. Yeah. Look at you taking the good stuff out of the bad stuff.
Yeah. I know. I know. It's it's very yeah. I just worked out for the best too.
So You
still work at a bar?
Leaving the Bar, Going to His Brother32:07
No. I quit. I worked the bar I worked at I worked for three years with one of my best mates over here in Germany, South African fella. It was his bar. So, yeah, I was hoping him manage that for the last three years.
And then my brother took a big downturn in let me try and think. 2425 was last year. And end of twenty 2024, my brother had a bit of a downturn with his mental health and things like that. Mhmm. I had a big talk to my boss and said, I wanna go to Australia.
My brother lives over in Perth. So I had a big yarn to my boss and that and said, I'd like to go to Australia for a couple months minimum just to go look after my brother and get him back on his feet and things like that. And that I think I need out of the bargain. I need a change.
But you're So You're back now?
No. No. No. I'm I'm in the data center industry now over here in Germany.
I meant you're back in Germany. I'm sorry. I meant you're back
in Germany. Oh, no. No. I'm back in Germany. Yeah.
Yeah. Back in back in Frankfurt now. Yeah. I only went I went in '24.
'24. Was that Yeah. For sure.
Visit helpful
for your brother?
It was. Yeah. Yeah. He had a quite a severe psychotic episode and ended up in the mental health unit there for about six, seven weeks, I think.
Is he out living by himself now?
He's back back out living by himself now. He has a he has a flatmate, like a housemate living with him and his dog and her dog. Yeah. He's doing a lot better now. They changed his medicine all that.
He's gone from, I don't know, like, fifteen, twenty pills a day to, like, an injection every two or three weeks.
Wow. Good for him. Yeah. Yeah. Was this mental health stuff with your family at all, your parents?
No. No. My parents haven't got it. I'd say me and my brother didn't have the cleanest, I'd say, 18 mid twenties lifestyle, if you know what I mean. Yeah.
It's a fair bit of fair bit of drug use and stuff for us back then.
Yeah. Do you think that pushed him into some
sort of a break? It did for him. Yeah. Which I'm quite surprised about. It didn't for me because I definitely took a lot more drugs than he did.
What Yeah. Would you would you
mind telling me what kind of drugs?
I wouldn't say everything, but you you stand at stuff, weeds, disco biscuits, ecstasy, speed, acid, mushrooms, the usual the usual mix.
So just a little and was this, like, weekly or daily?
I'd say the week was definitely daily. The ecstasy was pretty much probably every Thursday, Friday, Saturday for a while. And then mushrooms, well, I don't know, once or twice a month. And then yeah.
Yeah.
Acid, maybe once a month or whatever.
Right. Yeah. What are you gonna tell your kids about drugs?
The truth? Yeah? I yeah. Yeah. That yeah.
I don't know. I'm I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm a crazy parent, but I don't I don't lie to my kids or sugarcoat things to my kids. So if they got a question about something, I would just tell them the straight truth blunt answer with about everything really.
Right. Right. Scott, you sound a little far from the microphone all of a sudden.
Oh, okay. Sorry. You go. Is that better?
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. So you you yeah. I mean, you're gonna you well, how old are your kids?
My oldest is 11 coming on 12, and my youngest is eight.
How old were you and your brother when you started getting high?
I think the first time I ever had weed, I would have been, like, 14, 15.
So the pressure is gonna hit you around that age where you're gonna wanna say something to your kids. Yeah. You don't tell them the whole thing right away. Right?
No. No. No. No. No.
If they got questions about stuff, I'll tell them. But, otherwise, yeah, once my son hits 14, 15, me and my wife will sit down and have the the yarn and then talk to
them Yeah.
And things like that.
You think you would you think you would share with them that you imagine your brother's struggles come from drug use?
Definitely. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. That's
cool. That's good. That's what
you do. Yeah. That's the that's what I'm meant by the sugar coating. You know? I just tell them the blunt truth about everything and my experiences with things and stuff like that.
So Yeah. Brother ever exhibit like, is he do you ever talk about, I wish we didn't do those things, or does he is he pretty clear minded about
Well, I left some I left home at quite an early age. Not that I had a bad childhood or anything like that, but I moved out of home probably at the age of 17 Mhmm. To the next city away, which is probably the two hours away from home, two and a half hours away from my parents' house. My brother stayed in my little hometown, which is a bit of a dump. It's there's not much prospects in my town where I grew up.
You either finished school and work as a builder, a farmer, or in the freezing works like an abattoir
Okay.
Kind of thing. That's about your three main prospects. He got an apprenticeship as a mechanic, and his flatmates at the time, which I didn't really like at all. Didn't like those guys at all, but they were they were into the I'm just trying to think what you call it. A lot more harder stuff than what I was into.
They were into the myth and things like that. Okay. Yeah. So yeah.
Yeah. Did you kinda move away partly to get away? Did you think you'd get sucked into it?
No. No. I went to the city to go not to university, but to, like, polytechnic. Mhmm. I was doing a starting to do a tourism degree through them.
Okay. Yeah. Did the first year, but I got too much into the alcohol, and I wouldn't say well, yeah, and weed, I suppose. Ended up dropping out about six to seven months into the course and just, ended up working for a couple years, in the city there. Living the student life, but on a on a high wage.
Yeah. Is your wife, does she have a similar personality to you, or is she more straight laced?
In between. Yeah. Yeah. She's I wouldn't say crazy, but she's yeah. She's she's a lot more mature and a lot more focused.
Touch, Scotty, when she hears that you wouldn't call her crazy. That's nice.
Yeah. Yeah. No. She's yeah. No.
We're good mix. We're we we definitely suit each other, but she's definitely the organized one and the one that sorts everything out kind of thing.
Right. But, I mean, she's gonna have a little bit of love of this or it would be hard to be with you. Right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. I was just trying I was wondering if if you guys were more of, like, a good blend or if you were going for the yin yang thing when you found each other.
No. No. She's pretty similar to me in some ways, but she's, yeah, she's definitely a lot more organized, a bit more mature, a bit more clued on. I'm still I probably still got the mind of an 18 year old, really, like, when it comes down to things like yeah.
Low or Drunk — 3AM Behind the Bar38:29
What what's it like so what's it like having your, like, bar you know, working in a bar lifestyle and trying to manage Lada? Like, because Lada can be really unpredictable. Right?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I had some very interesting situations at work and things like that. Like, lot of times where I'd be going low behind the bar.
Luckily, Friday, there was three of us behind the bar. So anytime I'd start dipping low, I'd just grab a bottle of cola or something out of the out of the cool out of the fridge. And then I just sat up back on the stairs and have a, yeah, have a Coke, sit down for fifteen, twenty minutes. As soon as I pop back up into the yellow into the low seventies, straight back into work kind of thing. Yeah.
But I had one night where I was working by myself. It must have been about three in the morning, I suppose. And I had quite a few drinks while I was working, which I was trying not to do, but it's quite hard not to do as well when you're dealing with alcohol and people buying you shots and beers and stuff while you're working and just always been sticking with that kind of aspect for the last ten years behind bars. And then my phone started beeping, and I thought I was drunk. And then I had to look at the numbers, and there was no number to show.
All it said was low on the on the phone. So it must have been, I don't know, below 40, I suppose. And I was kinda, yeah, six ways six ways from Sunday, and I was absolutely all over the shop. Luckily luckily, there's only, like, three or four people in the bar, a couple of locals. So I just said to one of the boys, you just watch the bar for ten minutes.
You know, I'll be back soon. Don't do anything stupid.
You couldn't tell at first if you were lower or drunk.
Or drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. So that's kinda that's
I'm sorry. You're wearing a CGM, though. Which one which one is it?
Libra three.
Libra three. Okay. Yep. I would assume that that's a lifesaver for you?
Definitely. It's I had when I come out of the hospital after my three weeks there, I had my endo at the time. She was an absolute legend. I had to wait for my insurance to accept the prescription for the Libra three and Libra three to accept the prescription for my insurance before I get my senses. Okay.
But she snuck into the storeroom at the back and sneakily gave me three or four senses to take home just to get me through till my insurance kicked in. So Yeah. Yeah. It was a lifesaver because I hate doing the finger pricks. I still squeeze I still squirm now doing them every now and then.
I don't do them very often, maybe two or three times a month just to double check Mhmm. To make sure on your senses working or whatever. Yeah. But I hate doing the finger pricks.
How would how have the other adjustments been to, like, adding medical stuff to your life at at a later age? Is it been are the finger sticks not the only thing that are difficult to get get you No.
That's probably that's probably the part I struggle with the worst. The injections and things like that with the MDI, no issue. No problem. I probably gotta stop being so lazy. I don't change the needles every time.
Oh, on
your end? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My new window gives me grief about it now, but I probably use them on average two or three times before I change them.
Right.
Your endo say, do you need do you need pen caps? She goes, no. I got plenty.
Yeah. Exactly. She said, well, how come you got many? You should be out by now. Like, I use them like
two or times. Scotty. Yeah.
You should change them every time. You gotta get an infection. It's like, well, I haven't had one yet. That's just grand. Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Yeah. Or they have they're free.
Right? Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. I think for the for a box of pen, I think for three or four for four boxes of tips, I pay $20.25 dollars a box.
Right? Flatly don't change them because it's just you call it laziness?
Yeah. And I I don't carry them around with me. You know? I would just take the pen I would take the pen off the bench in the morning with me to work or whatever, and that's my pen for the day kind of thing. That's the
biggest pen. Gotcha. I I hear what you're saying.
Yeah. But I don't really I don't really take insulin at work either. I'm too scared to take it at work in case of crash. So What?
Are you high all day?
No. No. No. I I'm pretty steady. With the old department I was in that's with my company now, I was installing server racks at the data centers all around Frankfurt.
So very physical, very hard labor job, especially in the warm rooms and stuff. But my my daily graph was like a yo yo up, down, up, down, up, down kind of thing with all the physical work with that. Mhmm. But I got transferred to the logistics department, I don't know, end of last year, December last year. So now I'm doing parts and parts and order transfers for one of the big companies over here then in we're box fans.
So I'm just driving a box fan around the city all day delivering components and pieces for the data centers now.
And that's easier on your blood sugar, not you're not Oh. Yeah.
There's not there's not much physical work to it. A little bit, but not much, but I'm usually probably hovering around between, like, one twenty and 01:40 during the day.
Okay. Yeah. And and you're still as the with the driving job now, you're giving yourself more insulin, or you're still concerned about it?
No. I give myself my what do call it? The bezels increased over double. When I was doing the physical work, I was probably taking between six and eight units a night. Okay.
And then now this job's not so physical. I take about between fourteen and sixteen units a night.
Yeah. You need more because you're not moving around as much.
Yeah. I'm not moving around so much. Yeah. And I just adjust what my workload is gonna be like for the next day and especially the weather. If it's really hot, I can drop the bezel rate down quite a bit Yeah.
Over here.
Hey. You still with the kebabs, or did you give them up?
I probably have one a month now. There's a there's a bang on kebab shop just around the corner from my house here in Germany. So, yeah, probably once a month A little faster? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Cheaper cheap oh, not so cheap these days now, but easy easy to know.
Kebabs are probably cost more than the needle caps.
Well, the the the kebab inflation's hit the roof over here. They're gone from I think when I first moved here in 2011, they were €3 to $3.50. Now you're paying between 10 and $12
or €12. Crazy because you know it doesn't cost them anymore to make it. Right?
Wow. Yeah. As I as I said before, it's it's just compressive. It's a bit of everything on a big roll. No.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fantastic. So
Did you
Kebab Explosion44:34
call it a kebab explosion? What'd you say just now? Whatever you just said, I'm making the title of this episode. Whatever you just said a second ago.
I mean, we'll go we'll go with kebab explosion.
Yeah. Forget whatever. I'm gonna prompt what I'm talking to my editor. Whatever he said, like, sixty seconds ago, that's the title of the episode. So okay.
So you're doing that, and and what are they I mean, how do they manage a lot? Like, you're an adult. You're in another country. You don't speak the language, like, as well. No.
Like, how do they how are they managing this idea for you of this, like, slow descent of in of your insulin need? Because they're already you're it's gonna pick up as time goes on, but it's happening incredibly slowly.
Yeah. Life I I honestly haven't had it fully explained to me yet either. I've just been told to watch out for spikes and to increase. I'm pretty much I make all the adjustments myself really with the bezel and things like that. Mhmm.
I only go to the hospital maybe I have to go every three months for a a one c checkup and a few bits and bobs. Once a year, they test the end of my toes and things like that for failing. Up to me to go get my
stuff then. No one sat down. Has anyone ever sat down explained Lada to you? Is that a thing you had to figure out on on your own online?
I I my first endo was phenomenal. She was an absolute legend. She's not an endo anymore now, though, unfortunately. So I had her for probably the first year. She was phenomenal.
She explained everything to me. She was similar age to me, and she did quite well of explaining it to me and everything. But Mhmm. Even she said, you know, you know, Scotty, you know, if you feel like eating schnitzel and chips or burgers or anything, just don't be a wimp. That's what the insulin's for.
You know? That was yeah.
Tell me that's what your endo told you.
That is what my endo told me. She told me not to be a wimp.
Let's just
eat what I want. But yeah. Sorry. Because remember, like, when I come out of hospital, I'll I went, like I for the first month, I went, like, keto friendly and low carb and all that kind of stuff, and I was miserable.
You know, I think But when she stopped being an ENDO, what's she doing now? OnlyFans? What's she
No. She's actually she's working for Abbott over here in Europe now.
The pharma company?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Who she went in the industry, as they say. Yeah. I gotcha. So she's She decided to make some money.
Yeah. I think so. She's probably getting paid a lot more without the stress. So
Yeah. I can't believe that's what she said. When she said that to you, did you just think, oh, I should have married you. You're awesome.
Oh, she was she was pretty cute. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, no.
She was she was really good. Because I my language isn't fluent far from I can understand they're fluent, but my speaking's still a bit broken Mhmm. For German. So she was my teacher for the two just over two and a half weeks I was in the diabetic unit. Yeah.
So she's she'd come eat me for two, three hours a day and would go through all the formulas and everything. She was teaching me the German calculations and formulas with KE and all that kind of stuff, and I couldn't get my head around it. So I just said, oh, look. You know? That last week, I was in the isolation station for corona.
This is the formula I learned here between Australia and New Zealand, the Oceania formulas, and showed her all the the maths and everything behind it, and she couldn't believe how much more simple it was than the German system to join the calculations and everything. So
I'll tell you what. While you're talking well, I keep thinking, how close are we to I mean, people not even explaining anything to you anymore. Like, forget medicine. Like, someone's just gonna tell you, like, go home and whatever AI thing you're using, go ask it. Like, that's Yeah.
It's gonna be like that very soon because Pretty much. It already is to be perfect. Yeah. Like, yeah, every nobody tells you anything. You know?
Like No. No.
Two Endos, Two Very Different Experiences48:12
But I got I got a new endo now. She's not so great. She's, I'd say, your your textbook German. She's pretty cold. Doesn't really explain anything to me much at all.
I had about six months ago my second last Endo appointment. They tested my urine, and my protein count in my urine was off the charts. Like
Okay.
Like, extremely off the charts. She was asking me when I come back in a couple weeks later, she called me into the hospital to come and talk to her just because the liver was so high. She was asking if was taking creatine and things like that. And if I was doing power lifting and things like that, and I was like, no.
Nothing. I'm driving a van. Leave me alone.
Yeah. So I'm the most physical thing I'm doing is moving pellets and, yeah, lifting things all day.
Do you Are they thinking there's something wrong with your kidneys or what it's
Well, they did it. They tested everything, and it's normal. So they think I might have just had a infection in my system at the time.
Okay. Yeah. Not a thing we're worried about then.
Yeah. I had my my friend from France is here on the weekends. A doctor as well. So I gave her all the paperwork from that time, and she just said, yeah. Everything's normal.
Kind of
doctor kind of doctor is your friend?
She's just a house house arts. Okay. Just a house doctor.
Yeah. Gotcha.
Yeah. But she said all my numbers are perfect, but she said, yeah, that thing's probably more than likely just an infection Mhmm. In the system. What are your what
are your kids' what's your kids' reaction to the diabetes, like, you give yourself shots and things?
They're they're used to it. They were so helpful when I come out of hospital. They were amazing. I sat down and had a big talk to them. That was the hardest part for me to tell the truth was in the hospital because it was corona season.
I wasn't allowed any visitors at all.
Yeah. By yourself.
In the hospital. I didn't get to see my family for a long time until my legend of a specialist. There's a restaurant built into the side of the hospital where the patients can go in and get food or people from the street can go in and get food. You know? And she said to me, oh, I'm not I'm not I'm not telling you this, but just so you know, if you happen to go get something to eat from the cafe downstairs and your family happened to be in there getting something to eat at the same time, we we can't do anything about it.
So Yeah. Yeah. So I organized a few times just to see the kids and the wife and things like
that to meet
me down there.
How much of that corona time do you think had to do with the sadness you felt afterwards? Do you think maybe if people would have been around you in that first week, it would have been easier?
I honestly don't think it would have made a difference. No. I made a lot of phone calls. Yeah. And I was I was on the phone a lot.
Once I got moved out of the isolation station into the diabetic unit, I was allowed outside. So I couldn't go I couldn't leave the hospital itself, but I could walk around the grounds and do things. And my work actually was probably about 500 meters away from the hospital there. So I'd stand at the gate, send a message to the pub. Quite a few of the boys from the pub had walked down with their beers, and we'd just stand in each side of the fence having yarns and stuff outside the side of the fence and things like that.
Hanging out with different assistants.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's good
friends. Yeah.
Yeah. That's good friends.
So Well,
that's you have you have a fairly like, it's you feel like you have an exciting life to me. Like, I'm thinking about the rest of my day, and I'm like, I don't do anything nearly as fun as Scottie does. Well,
I haven't got much on the cars and stuff. I'll throw the kids in bed, then, yeah, I'm gonna have some couch time tonight, I think.
So yeah. So you this diagnosis for you really shifted your life. Like, it took
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the better.
It took you from, like, full speed ahead. I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna get high. I'm gonna stay up. I'm gonna eat at 05:00 in the morning to I'm gonna act like an adult.
I'm taking care of myself now.
Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't say I'm I wouldn't say I act like an adult now, but I'm definitely taking things a lot more slower. I'm a lot more cautious with things now, especially with when it comes to food and things like that. Mhmm.
I don't eat nowhere near as much. I still eat like garbage, but I don't eat near as much of the processed garbage that I used to and things like that. So
yeah. Yeah. You feel a are you feeling a responsibility to model better behavior for your children, or are you trying to
stay alive? Just from just from myself. Just it's just the adjustment with the diabetes and all that with you know? Do I eat that bag of chips? I'm gonna have to take so many units of insulin now just to warrant having that bag of chips off.
I'll have to take too deep into it. The diabetes is just making you feel like I have to pay attention to this now. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Pretty much.
That's Yeah.
Yeah. Got
it. I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out. But, like, I I I'm trying because you're talking about a shift and it was the diabetes, and I don't know if it's maybe wording differences that had me thrown off or not, but, like okay. Well, I'm glad to I mean, I'm glad to talk about all of it to try to figure it out. But but you just made you say to yourself, my health is more of a pressing issue now.
I need to pay attention to these items.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't I don't have the weekly benders like I used to anymore. I might have one or two blowouts a year now on the booze with the boys, but, otherwise, I limit myself to maybe two or three beers.
I can't even before diabetes, I can't. Once I get past three beers, I'm out till I hit the floor or out at night kind of thing. So Mhmm. I limit myself now to two or three beers at most in the sitting.
Are you are you drinking only, or do you do like, do you smoke weed still? Or is it
I still smoke weed. It's it's legal right here in Germany, so I have the odd odd plant in my balcony every now and then
Okay.
During the summer over here. I see.
Yeah. Your wife too?
Yeah. She when we were together before the kids, we used to smoke a fair bit of weed together, but now she she dabbles, but not often. I'd say once or twice every few months. She will have a little puff or whatever. But I've just changed to a, like, a herbal vaporizer now for the last probably six or seven months, and that's been a been a game changer.
The ones that just heat it up. Right? No smoke? I was just I just yeah. I've had people on here talk about that before.
Yeah. It's been a it's been a game changer. So I was smoking joints for years beforehand, but I'd have to go outside. And we have a we have a law here in Germany with assistance from schools and playgrounds and things like that. Whereas my house is kind of right on the edge of the forest in the Dead End Street neighborhood, but there's a playground right beside my house kinda thing.
So I was always paranoid about the cops catching me having a joint in the evening outside. I don't I don't don't smoke weed around my children or anything like that. I usually wait till they've gone to bed till, like, 09:30, 10:00 at night, and I'll go out and have a little puff and then come back and chill out for an
hour or here. Some of the places, they make it legal. You go outside. You're like, my god. Does, like, everybody get high?
Like, it Yeah.
I had to I was in Florida about two months ago. Right. Yeah. Just everywhere. Yeah.
But yeah. Yeah.
I went out I I I gave a talk in Atlanta a few weeks ago, and I ran out at night, like, across street to just to get a sandwich somewhere. And just crossing the street, I was like, my god. Like, am I in it smells like I'm inside and everybody's smoking. Yeah.
Yeah. I was, it was like that in Frankfurt even before I got legalized over here. So yeah.
Yeah. Nothing really changed. They just made it legal.
No. No. Just just just less trouble you can get in now. So
yeah. Everything's exactly the same. It's just legal now. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I hear that. Yeah. Well, what did you what are you thinking about a pump? Is it a thing that's in your head?
Like or are you not sure?
Wouldn't say that I'm I'm the thing it was not in the head as such. It's just with I do a lot of resting with my kids, and I'm in a lot of tight spaces at times and stuff with the job and things like that. I'm just worried about it getting caught on something and ripping it out. The thing I don't like the most is having to change it every three days Okay. From site to site.
Right. Yeah.
The trade off there for changing it every three days versus giving yourself an injection a few times a day is not doesn't feel like
the pressure. Are so easy. So easy and quick.
Mind them all. Yeah.
Nah. Nah. What's it's I don't really take any oh, sorry?
No. I've I almost stepped on you, but go ahead and talk. I'm sorry.
Oh, I don't really take much insulin during the day. I don't really take any insulin during the day at all. It's just in the evenings when I get home for dinner and things like that. That's it.
Yeah. You think when the insulin becomes a bigger part of your life, you might look at it again?
Yeah. If once my pancreas fully carcassed and then my my rates go up, then I'll probably definitely look at getting
You might look at it again at that point. Yeah. Yeah. But for the moment gonna be even.
Yeah. Exactly. My my ratios are pretty low at the moment. I'm think I'm on one unit of insulin per ten grams of carbs at the moment.
Basal, Heat, and Adjusting on the Fly56:27
So How much basil do you use a day?
Basil, I'd say
You shoot a
twelve twelve and sixteen.
Twelve and sixteen. Depending on your activity and the heat. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. When I was in Florida a couple months ago, I think I had to chop it down to two or three units over there just for the heat and everything.
So was hitting. It was was really helping. It was helping the the insulin move around. You're probably more active too than you are sitting at home.
Oh. Yeah. But I still do. I don't know. I probably average between, like, I'd say, and 18,000 steps a day with my job.
Oh, so like that. Yeah. So you really you really feel like it was the heat. That's why I dropped down. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And it's hot there now, you said, in Germany?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't too bad today. I think she was above me 30 degrees Celsius, but yesterday and the day before, 33, 34.
Okay. And are you are you adjusting your insulin for that too?
Yeah. Yeah. I went down to eight units just for the last few heat days. And then last night, I went back up to 12 because I thought I was gonna have an easy day. I had an easy morning, but the afternoon was absolutely slammed, but it wasn't too bad.
So humid there too?
It can. In the evenings, it does. I'm right out by the forest, so it's not too bad. But if you go into the city of Frankfurt itself, it's absolutely heinous. Okay.
So I've been in Saigon or something. Just with all the all the concrete buildings and, yeah, cobblestones and high rise towers and everything, it just holds the heat.
Sits in there and holds the heat and everything. Yeah. Jeez.
Yeah. Yeah. And Germans Germans still don't know about the great air conditioner. Yeah.
Oh, and or or is that another place they don't have air conditioning?
Yeah. They're they're not the biggest of it. I've got it here at home. We can have it installed here at home, but they don't like it over here. Not many places have it.
And the houses are very old. Like, the house I have is under the roof, so it gets very hot in the summer. Mhmm. So, yeah, we've had the air conditioning for the last few years upstairs, and it's been a lifesaver.
I don't know how people live without it, to be perfectly honest.
No. No. Neither do I. Like, yeah, everything's run off the old radiator heaters and stuff in the winter. Mhmm.
And yeah. Yeah. The the Germans love opening the windows even when it's negative 12 outside. Open the windows to get the fresh air in the house in the mornings. And yeah.
Oh, jeez. Yeah. I'm okay. I don't need to I don't need to my wife leaves for work sometimes. She's like, well, here goes a week with no ice.
I'm like, yeah. Yeah. That's I gotta be drinking warm drinks for a week. I gotta go to Europe. I'll see you later.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But, you know, it makes sense. I think the electrical grid's not really the same in some of these places too. Although Germany is pretty pretty modern. Right?
Yeah. They took a lot nuclear reactors offline.
Oh, I remember that.
Yeah. Yeah. Was a bit of a bit of a mess, and then we had the issue with the gas and stuff once the war started in Ukraine. Gas process went through the roof. Still not as bad now, but, yeah, the house gas and things like that.
You think they'll crank
those reactors back up or no?
Well, there's talks of it, but I don't know. Yeah. The green party is too high on power over here at the moment, I think. So I don't think there's yeah. There's talks of it happening, but, yeah, I just said I had a big solar panels on my roof two or three months ago, which has been a game changer here as well.
So Please. I but make sure my news is right on this. They were they wanted to cut the reactors down for social, like like, reasons, like, you know, around around and then they ended up burning, like, way more gas or something for it or something.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And coal. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right. They had
to go
back to coal. That's the story I heard. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.
We'll fix it.
Yeah. I had, Yeah. I've I've actually one of my one of my friends is actually a nuclear engineer, and, yeah, he he lost his job and had to go move to France to go work there because yeah.
We'll shut the reactors off and start burning coal again. Everything will be cleaner. Don't you worry.
It'd be fun if you're hunky dory. You know? It's cleaner. It's better.
Yeah. I wish people would stop pretending there was an actual answer to anything. And
Yeah. You know what
I mean?
Yeah. No. It's stupid. And then, yeah, the prices of electricity went through the roof as well after they turned all the nuclear stuff off and everything as well.
So listen. I'm I'm I'm waiting for the the the part in in the future where we all get a little tiny desktop reactor that powers our house. I'm I'm I'm Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Because I was listening I was listening to my NPR today, and they're talking about how America's planning on building the station on the moon. Like yeah.
Yeah. Good luck.
Yeah. Mean I wonder if I wonder if to get the helium three to make some cold cold fusion or whatever.
Yeah. If I see them fill some of the potholes around here, I'll imagine that they can get to the moon and build a reactor.
It's not it's it's not just your country with potholes then. Yeah. It's mine as well. So
You show me 10 guys in the same place and get something done, and I'll go, okay. Maybe we can accomplish this.
Yeah. I know. But there's always 10 guys. One's only doing the work, another night send it around watching
the Three of them called out sick and the other ones are wild.
Yeah.
It's kinda like, could build a reactor on the moon if you guys would just be like, shut up. And then what if we just went to the bar you shut up? How would that be?
Yeah. Exactly. Sit the corner and be quiet and jukeepied.
Yeah. Yeah. I showed up at my first job out of school, and those guys pulled me aside in no time. And they were like, what are you trying to prove? Slow down.
And I was like, well, I'm just working. And they're like, not that fast. Don't don't ruin it for the rest of us. And I was
like Yeah. You're gonna make us look bad. Yeah. And
got that talk real quick when I got out of it.
I was cool. Increase the workflow and make me look bad. Yeah.
Just slow down is what I was told. Yeah. And it wasn't a friendly conversation. I got pulled to a corner by a bunch of bunch of grown men. I was, like, 19 years old.
I was like, oh, oh, okay.
Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's try to fear him when he's young.
Well, no kidding. What what are you trying to prove? First words out of one of their mouth. I was like. I'm trying to keep my stupid job where I make $4.50 an hour.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah. Yeah. I already that was my first job. It only $4.75 an hour.
Exactly. Oh. Don't know. Pranking around, and then this guy pulls me aside, and he's like, no. No.
No. I don't think those guys are gonna get a reactor on the moon either is what I'm saying.
No. No. No. Yeah. They're probably they're probably fine.
When people complain about capitalism, like, you know, the the desire for money is the only thing that makes anybody do anything. You're like
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah. We wouldn't have anything if their scumbags weren't out there trying to get rid.
Oh, no. Yeah. No. No. No way.
No. No. No. Yeah.
Let or them we're gonna be walking again. Wow. We can't walk. That's over. I just want to say.
Yeah. It's so funny. Oh my gosh. Alright. I I mean, have we done any of what you imagined we'd do when you came on here, are we just messing around?
I'd I prefer the messing around. It's my it's my it's my forte.
Yeah. You're not gonna hear this on NPR. I'll tell you that much.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No. No.
No. No. Yeah. No. Not with the seven second delay that we're blurring all the swear words or anything at.
No.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't I there's part of me that needs to keep this episode shorter so I don't go over on editing cost for the cursing. But, but, no, seriously, though. Like, I think chatting like this is good sometimes.
Like, I don't I Oh, definitely. Yeah. You're a real person In the middle of being an adult, you were living a certain life, and somebody showed up and it was like, hey. That's it. You have diabetes now.
Everything's different. You you were really honest about all the different ways it impacted you. And I think you're being honest about the fact that you don't really have it all worked out yet. You're just you're No. No.
It's I just I just tell everyone my my daily life is like a science experiment. Every day is different. I don't know what's going on, and I'll just deal with it when it pops up. Yeah. But you
I've Scott, you characterize yourself as happy, though. Right? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Yeah.
Definitely.
A 5.6 by Loosening the Grip1:03:52
Yeah. Still have my moments every now and then, but I don't have the burnout like I did. I function pretty well. My averages in a one c is great. It's I think the last test I had two months ago, I think my a one c was 5.6.
Woah. Look at you. That's awesome.
And then I I think my average is, I think, 85 in the range.
Hey. Good for you.
That's awesome. Yeah. I I I figured out last year, the less I'm focused on it and the more blahs I am about it, the better my averages in a one c is. Whereas if I'm hovering over it and trying to concentrate more on it, the worst it is.
You you had too tight of a grip on it. You're overmatched.
Yeah. I wouldn't say tight of a grip, but I was hyper focused on it.
Okay.
Yeah. Now I I probably check my sensor maybe five or six times a day. That's about it really now.
Yeah. I don't know that people believe me or not, and I certainly don't have as much to do with Arden's diabetes since she's older, but I just have a I I have a, you know, an my alarms are set where they're set. And if the thing doesn't beep, I don't look at my phone.
Yeah. Same as me. Yeah. It's I've turned off the high settings because I was sick of that going off in the night when I'm trying to sleep. Because once I get up in the night, it's a real challenge for me to go back to sleep.
So Right.
I've turned off the high settings, but I got the low set. I think once I hit 75, then my alarm goes off just to let me know.
I have to say, Arden just finished her her semester. So it's gonna be a little confusing for people. She has graduated, but she only walked. She still has three courses left to actually get her diploma. So she finished the semester.
She's gotta go back one more time. But this is, like, the day or two after the semester, so she's just sleeping.
Right?
So I I I just look because I was I I found myself thinking about it. At 8AM, she was asleep. And I thought, oh, the the algorithm's doing a good job of pushing her blood sugar where it should be, but it'll go it should go a little faster. I gave her, like, a bump of, like, a quarter of unit of insulin, and that was now moved five and a half hours ago. I haven't thought about it since, and I just pulled up her six hour graph.
She's been between one ten and seventy seven for the last, like, six hours.
Yeah. That's yeah. That's yeah. Yeah.
I wish
I I could get my averages down to there. I'm usually hovering, I'd say, between 01:20 and 01:40.
Yeah. Well, Scotty, that's an algorithm. That that's doing a lot of work behind the scenes, given and taking its own away and stuff like that.
So Yeah. I'm pretty I'm pretty glad to have that at all. I just I just take it when I need
some time. I think you're doing a great job. I mean, sounds like you're doing a great job to me. Honestly, you've you've balancing your mental health with your with your physical health and your, you know, the amount of effort and time you're putting into it, it's, it all sounds like a good thing to me.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No. I'm I'm in a I'm in a good spot at the moment.
So yeah. I have one last question. How much do you let your wife in on the diabetes stuff now? Like, could she help you if she needed to? Does she understand glucagon?
Like or is it a thing you
kinda keep saying? I had I had a big lesson with the boys and things like that when I first came out of hospital, still do now. We sit down and talk about a family about everything really. We don't really hide anything from each other. I've got a good we have a very good relationship with our kids.
My oldest will come to me and my wife very often with problems he's having in life and things like that, which I'm so thankful for. You know? He's not hiding it away. But the the kids know exactly what to do if they find me on the floor or anything like that. I've never passed out or had anything yet.
You know, I'm not saying it's not gonna happen, but
I'm not gonna
wait for
you if you want. There you go. Yeah.
Yeah. But I have little I have little stashes of those Glutagon inhalers and things like that hidden around the house and stuff. So Yeah. The boys know where to grab one and know exactly what to do and things like that.
It's
awesome. I've got the Libra hooked up to my wife's phone as well. So she's she's quite onto it. If I'm if I don't know what's going on or I'm not paying attention and my phone goes low, she'll send me a WhatsApp straight away or give me a ring. Are you okay?
What's going on? Yeah. Blah blah blah. Blah. Yeah.
Yeah.
So Is that is that about the level of com is that where you want it?
That's pretty much all I needed, really. They they know what to do if there's an emergency or anything like that, but we haven't crossed that bridge yet.
And,
yeah, I've had no issues around the house or anything with it. But there's been times and stuff where we've been out and about. I forgot to put, you know, glucose tablets or some sugar in my pocket, and me and the wife have gone for a walk. And I've had we've had to stop and then ring one of our friends to come pick us up to take me home again because it's too far to walk home
Mhmm.
Because I'd I'd crash and things like that. But yeah.
She's comfortable too. She doesn't ask you for more than what you're giving?
No. No. That's there's nothing really more to give if you know what I mean.
No. No. Yeah. It's good. I was just trying to say it's a good balance for both of you.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't wanna burden her with too much of it, but there's not much she can really do for me really either anyway. Like, it's yeah.
Yeah.
You're an adult.
Right? She's yeah. And she she watches. She keeps an eye on the numbers and things like that. When she tell me, oh, you're bit high.
Do you think you need some insulin? Bits and bobs. But, otherwise, I'm pretty much just left to my own devices, really.
Any concern for the kids now that you have type one? Are
The Antibody Test He Doesn't Want1:09:00
you There is there is a bit. I can't get the I can my endo asked if I'd like to do the antibody test with them
Mhmm.
To see if they have the antibodies, but I don't want to. I don't want to know, if you know what I mean.
It's not known you for an hour, and I could've guessed that's what you were gonna say. So
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It you
you don't wanna know because you don't wanna worry?
That's yeah. If I knew they had them, and I'd be waiting for the bomb to explode, if you know what I mean.
I that would be bad for your your mental health.
Yeah. I think so too. So I'd rather let them I'd be more worried about them. I'd rather they're at that age now where I just want them to be kids and have fun, you know, not have to have anything. I don't want the thing in the back of my mind either.
You know? Right. Right. Right. So yeah.
But it's very
and you'll you'll you'll speak up.
Yeah. Exactly. I do the old I do the old finger prick with them every now and then. You know? It's a fun game.
Have you ever caught a a nat of whack blood sugar? No. Good. Not at all.
That's awesome. So my my old endo, she just said, you know, chances are very, very low. I think she said it was, like, eighteen to twenty percent or something that the kids could get diabetes as well.
Yeah. Well, you probably answered, hey. Is there any worry about kids? And she said, stop being such a wimp, Scotty.
Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Even even she said, you know yeah.
Pretty much. She just said, oh, you know, if you wanna do it, do it. But if you don't wanna know, you don't have to know.
I have to say just in case any of my doctors are listening, I would love it if we had conversations like that. So feel free.
Oh, that's the thing I missed that's the thing I missed about my first endo. She was I was so comfortable with about talking with her about everything and anything. Yeah. My new one, not so much now. Like yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. You said different. Yeah. No. You only get special people like that don't come around all that often.
You know?
No. No. So, yeah, I'm a gutted about it, but it's it's alright. I just go and get my meds, get tested, come home again. Yeah.
It's pretty much
What time is it there? Yeah.
Quarter past seven at night.
Oh, you gotta get going. Okay.
No. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You do.
Yeah. The kids go to bed about nine, 09:30. So yeah. Let's They're out in the pool. They're out in the pool with their mates swimming anyway.
So
Oh, no kidding. Yeah. I wish I was a kid. That sounds awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm gonna drive to the pharmacy instead after this and then come back and make Facebook ads.
Yeah. No. I get the I get the neighborhood kids ringing the doorbell every day. Towels, tugs on. Winston home.
I come in. Yeah. Just out the back in the pool. Out the back in the pool.
Now, Scotty, those kids have you eyed up. They know that you're where they're gonna get their drugs from five years from now. So they're
Well, possibly. Possibly. Yeah. I'll tell what, it's not it's not much of a challenge over here in Germany anyway. So yeah.
They're like, listen. I think I think Scottie's gonna be able to hook us up one day.
Yeah. Yeah. No. And there's there's a few of us in the neighborhood. Like yeah.
Yeah. I went around to my my other son's friend that lives down the road instead. I went around to see him the other night in Aveyard. He's like, oh, do you smoke? I was like, oh, I don't smoke cigarettes, but I smoke the other stuff.
Come with me. Come with me. Yeah. Yeah. I got three kilos in the cellar here.
Take an ounce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's Pablo Escobar's living up the street from you.
So yeah. It's yeah. But it's you know, I'm I don't know. I don't I'm trying to think what you'd say. I don't think there's anything wrong with weed
at all. I think
it's much more cleaner and better than alcohol. It's yeah. My wife prefers me on the weed than the alcohol.
I would listen. I prefer you smoke weed than drink alcohol. I am we I'm I'm building a a a like, a proper recording studio in my basement, and, you know, I had painters come in to paint after the drywall went up and everything. And, like, it like, everybody's walking around the house looking at each other funny and, like, every and then finally, we all just kinda because we all work at home. Like, you know what I mean?
So we all collected together and we're like, hey. The painters are high. Right? And then and, and everybody's like, oh, is that what that is? I'm like, yeah.
I was like, I think that's what's going on here. So but I'll tell you what, they paint great. He's got that brush in his hand, and he's, like, lining the wall. And I'm stunned at how great the line looks between, like, the wall and the ceiling.
He's I think it's a pretty standard. I got mates at home and use it on the other pages, and that's pretty much how they function. A quick joint in the van before they go in for work.
And then that house is perfect. I said, I don't I don't question anything. Look how nice that line is at the ceiling. It's
Yeah. Exactly. If it works, it works. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I care. No kidding. Alright. Well, Scotty, I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you very much.
Oh, no. It was great. Yeah.
Did you have a good time?
I did, actually. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. A lot more comfortable than I thought it was gonna be.
You said you were really nervous at the beginning, but did it end up
that way? Yeah. Yeah. I was I was I'm in an hour in this morning when I got up.
Do I do it? Do I not? No.
Were you gonna bail on me? Is that what you're thinking?
I was I'm in an hour in about it. Like yeah.
Nobody bails. Don't bail on me. I'm busy. I sit over here.
I'm waiting for you when I Yeah. Talk to talk to the talk to the wife about it this morning and stuff. And she's like, I just She said Scotty.
She she said call your doc old doctor. She'll tell you what to do.
Exactly. Don't be a wimp, Scotty. Do the podcast. No. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. Alright, man. Hold on one second for me.
Yeah. All good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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