#1914 Kebab Explosion
Kebab Explosion
Diagnosed with LADA at 37 while managing a dive bar in Frankfurt, Scotty spent his first week with type 1 alone in COVID quarantine — handed an insulin pen and no instructions. He talks about teaching himself, diabetic burnout, therapy, and where he landed five years later.
Jump to a moment
- Adult-onset type 1 gets talked out of easily. Scotty dropped roughly 10 kilos in eight weeks, was drinking liters of water a night, waking five or six times to urinate, and was exhausted — and he attributed all of it to overwork and a rough schedule. There was no diabetes anywhere in his family, so nothing pointed him at it. His wife was the one who said the word out loud first. He was 37.
- His first week with type 1 had almost no education in it. He arrived at the hospital during the peak of COVID, tested positive on admission, and spent a week in an isolation ward where the diabetes nurses wouldn't come. A nurse handed him a rapid-acting pen and told him to put it on a number; when he asked which number, she said she didn't know. He filled the gap himself — reading, Reddit, Think Like a Pancreas, and eventually this podcast.
- The diagnosis is what got him into therapy. He describes serious diabetes burnout in that first year, depression, and dark thoughts he didn't feel able to say out loud to his wife — not because he couldn't talk to her, but because he didn't want her carrying it. He told her he needed to talk to someone, went five or six sessions, and still uses the grounding exercises he learned there. His framing: change was forced on him once, which taught him change wasn't going to kill him.
- Working nights with LADA created problems a schedule can't fix. Bar shifts meant going low behind the bar and sitting on the stairs with a cola until he came back up, drinking while working, and one 3AM alone in the bar where his phone read LOW with no number and he couldn't tell whether he was low or drunk. Moving to a driving job more than doubled his basal need — he now adjusts it for workload and for heat, which is a variable worth watching in any routine. Settings changes belong in a conversation with your own care team.
- He got better numbers by holding on less tightly. Scotty says his A1C at his last check was 5.6 with roughly 85% time in range, and that when he was hyper-focused and hovering over the data his results were worse, not better. He checks his sensor five or six times a day, has turned off his high alert to protect his sleep, and keeps a low alert on. He is still in a slow honeymoon five years in, which is part of why his numbers look the way they do — and he has decided not to antibody-test his two boys, because he doesn't want to spend years waiting.
- Think Like a Pancreas — Gary Scheiner's book — the first thing Scotty read after diagnosis, before he found the podcast.
- Bold Beginnings series — The newly diagnosed series — the education Scotty had to assemble for himself in a quarantine room.
- Diabetes Pro Tip series — The core management series: insulin timing and amount, basal, corrections, variables.
- Mental Wellness series — Episodes with therapist Erika Forsyth on burnout, diagnosis grief, and asking for help.
- Diabetes Variables series — Heat, activity, and workload — the things Scotty adjusts his basal around.
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook group — The private community — 85,000+ members. Everyone is welcome.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) — Free, confidential, 24/7. Call or text 988. Outside the US, Find A Helpline lists services by country at findahelpline.com.
Every word of the conversation
Welcome Back & Episode Setup0:07
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A Kiwi in Germany, Married for the Visa1:53
Good day. My name is Scotty. I'm a 42 year old Kiwi living over here in Germany from New Zealand originally, with type one point five diabetes.
You have a lot of.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. How long have you been in Germany?
I've been here I first arrived in 2011 and then did two years here and then went home for two years with then girlfriends and then come back again. Oh, no. We we got married because I was gonna get deported. So we got married and then went back home for two years and come back in 2013. And then been here since
She's German?
She's German. Yes.
I was gonna get deported.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My visa run out, so I was close.
Let me ask you. How long have you been married?
Fifteen years now.
Okay. So it was more than just a favor?
It was. It was. We would have ended up getting married at some point anyway, but the the marriage was the quick, the quick and easy way for the v, for the visa and to stay.
I will be married for thirty years this summer, and we got married. Jeez. We got married for car insurance. So
Hey. Hey. See? Yeah. This way this works around, and it works.
So yeah.
Every once in a while, something works out.
Yeah. Exactly.
So when were you diagnosed? How long ago?
The Signs He Talked Himself Out Of3:06
In 2021. In February 2021.
Over five years?
Yes. Yeah. Okay.
At what age?
Where am I now? 42 now. Would have been 37.
Okay. Okay. Surprised? Did you feel it coming? Did you have, like, health issues that were creeping
on you? Should have been a bit more wiser to the to the front of it, really. I just put it down to stress at my my previous job. I dropped, like, 10 kilos in, like, eight weeks and just tired all the time. No energy.
No power. Doing, like, night shifts till, like, four or five in the morning and sleeping till one and then getting up and then going back to bed at, like, 03:00 for an hour before I had to go back to work again because I've said no energy.
Okay.
And the thirst would have been the giveaway, which I thought it clicked. I was drinking, like, two, three little leases of water a night before I go to bed, and then I'm up like a 70 year old man getting up, like, five, six times a night to go and then having having to drink more water and going back to bed.
Just thinking what can can you contextualize what you thought about the the frequent urination?
I didn't really click. You know? I'm kinda I grew up in, like, in rural New Zealand in the middle of nowhere, you know, where, you know, kinda brought up with a theory. You know? You don't tell anyone any problems, you just just get on with life.
You
know? Mhmm.
And, yeah, it was a super busy period at work at that time, and I was just working and home working, like, six days a week and just, yeah, doing 12 days pretty much every day. And I just put it down to overwork and exhaustion, really. What kind
of work? Yeah. Office, outdoors? What do you do?
Bar bar manager. Like, a dive bar.
Oh, okay. So you're it's later at night, you're hustling around constantly, all that stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It should've collected.
Mean, I was eating, like, six bananas a night at work kinda thing as well because I just I couldn't Well, do just always hungry.
Do you have any diabetes in your family?
No. No one's ever had it in the history of my family, not even type two.
Well, then why would why would you think it should have clicked with you then?
Well, just with the thirst. Even my wife said, oh, I think you might have diabetes with the thirst, and she was always giving me grief about my diet and stuff because it was pretty, back then, it was pretty average. You know? Finished work at four or five in the morning, pick up a couple of kebabs in the car to drive home and eat the kebabs on the way home for the half hour drive. It's just yeah.
Yeah. She was like, I think you might get diabetes if you keep it like this. No. No. You know?
No. I'm healthy. Just fine.
A nice 4AM kebab. That's
all. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
It's it's the only thing Wait.
Wait. Where are
buying thing often?
Where are you buying that at 04:00 in the morning?
We we have, like, behind my work where I used to work, there's, like, the party district of in Frankfurt, Old Saxonhausen, and it's literally a whole neighborhood block of just bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, right along from each other. And then we call it the Doner Mile. There's one street where there's, like, six or seven kebab shops, a couple of pizza shops, a couple of burger shops. Yeah. Just to feed the drunks.
To feed the drunks. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. It's a it's a feed box for the drunks. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that was the only choice for food at that time in the morning. So I literally just walk out of the bar, grab a kebab, jump in the car, and go home.
And on your way.
How about that? Okay. So when do you when does it, like, crystallize to you to the point where you say something, do something?
It got to the point where I was looking I wouldn't say sickly, but I was extremely skinny for my my body size. Like, I'm not huge or anything anyway, but I'm only over my five foot eleven, and I was probably averaging around back then probably about eighty four, eighty five kilo with all the drinking and everything like that. And then I just, started shrinking away pretty much. And Okay. My, I decided to go see my, specialist, and they tested everything, tested my bloods, everything with me and said, no.
You're perfectly healthy. But before you leave, please pee in this cup. Mhmm. So I peed in the cup of the specialist, and then about an hour later, they rang my wife and talked to her because their English wasn't so great. And my my German's pretty average, especially when it comes to, like, doctors and stuff.
I prefer to take my wife to get the words that I don't quite understand. And they said to sure to rush me to hospital right now because my blood sugars were over a thousand
Oh
my gosh. Time of day. And they they couldn't believe I was still up and around and moving and functioning.
So What's the answer to that? Is it your your pancreas is jumping in periodically and pushing your blood sugars back down again?
I'm not a 100% sure, but, yeah, my pancreas is still even now, it's still slightly alive. I'm it's on the it's on the way out, but I'm still in my honeymoon period, like, five years later. No. It's going slow. They put you going very slow.
Did they put you on a GLP? No. Really? Is that not a thing there?
Not ready for diabetes and such. I've got a few mates that are a bit large over here that are taking it for, you know, for health reasons and stuff for their blood pressure and to try and slim down a bit. But, yeah, no. That wasn't that wasn't a thing back then when I first got diagnosed diagnosed over here.
I'll tell you. If you could get a really low dose of it, it might stretch out that honeymoon a little longer for you. Yeah. Are you on ins you're on insulin, though?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm on what am I on? I'm on NovoRapid and Tregel.
Okay. So you're doing MDI. You're shooting.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. At the moment, anyway. I'm I'm in an hour and about a pump, I'm a bit nervous about them as well. So
Okay. Well okay. So they give you the diagnosis. You go to the hospital. How was the hospital stay?
Was it long?
One More Night at Home8:18
It was horrible. I ended up I was supposed to go that night, but I said to my wife, I want one more night at home with the with the boys, and stuff like that. I was it pretty much broke my world really when I found out that I could be diabetic, type one diabetic. Kinda kinda felt like my world was crashing in, if you know what I mean.
Yeah. You you weren't worried about not going to the hospital, though? You felt you felt okay. I wouldn't say okay.
Probably, like, probably the last three weeks to a month before I got that from the doctor. I was having, like, I wouldn't call it mood swings. I had my first ever panic attack. I've never had a panic attack in my life. Mhmm.
I had my first ever panic attack from work just from stress, and I was emotional wreck. It was probably the easiest way to describe it.
Yeah.
I get highly confused, extremely confused, and kind of or brain function would cease to exist.
Mhmm. Random. Panic. I'm overly emotional.
Breaking down in tears out of nowhere and things like that. And I thought I was I thought I was going crazy pretty much. I got a I got a twin brother. He's he's got a touch of schizophrenia and bipolar.
Mhmm. Just a touch?
Just a touch. Uh-huh. A nice way to put it anyway. But yeah. And I was just I started to get paranoid and worried that that was start increasing on me I see.
Kind of thing. Okay. Yeah.
So was was the diabetes I wonder why the diabetes wasn't a lifting of that for you. Like, I would have thought, oh, diabetes. At least I'm not crazy. Or did you those two things
not Well, I didn't quite understand it back then either because I didn't really know any diabetics. I've never really never really met any before beforehand kinda thing. Right.
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Quarantine, a Pen, and Nobody to Ask12:08
No. Not quite that, but I just, with the diabetes, I just thought not that my life is over, but just that I'm gonna have to make a lot of changes, and I can't I'm gonna miss out on all the fun and all the exciting things. You know?
So you
just Yeah.
Maybe I'll sit at the house one more day and pretend this isn't happening?
Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanted one more night at home with the kids and the wife and Yeah.
That's something Just get get get it around my head pretty much.
Yeah. I I appreciate you sharing that. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, okay. So you get to the hospital. Do you keep fighting it in your head, or do you
Kind of. Are they they in the morning, they got me to go see my house doctor here in town. I live in a little village out of Frankfurt about twenty, twenty five minutes out of Frankfurt City. And they sent me to the Haussard's to my normal doctor just to go get a blood reading and for her to find a hospital for me to go to. So I went in in the morning, and they went in about, I don't know, 07:30 in the morning.
I went in, and they took my blood sugars with the old finger prick just to see what my resting blood sugar was. And my resting blood sugar was about three sixty or three seventy, I think, in the morning Mhmm. Without eating anything or, yeah, having breakfast, just a coffee before I went. And then my house doctor is an absolute legend. She's she's phenomenal.
She managed to get me into the diabetic unit here at the Frankfurt Hospital in Sachsenhausen, which is actually one of the best diabetic units in all of Germany. So she managed to get me a placement into there. So I went straight from her home, packed my computer and bits and bobs, and straight into the hospital. And it was during the peak of corona as well over here, so I had to take a corona test when I got to hospital.
Oh.
And that's when they found that I actually had corona as well at the same time.
Did you really?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it was a bit of a shift fest.
I think it's possible those kebabs aren't good for you. Wow. Wow. Yeah.
They are mystery, mate. They're pretty much just lips and leftovers, really, but they do taste really good. So yeah. So, yeah, they ended up putting me into, like, a separate station at the at the time, and I had to wait in there for, like, four or five hours so they could free up a bit in the the quarantine unit for me up in the hospital there.
Mhmm.
And then they got my room ready and said I could move upstairs, and I had to get all masked up and all that kind of stuff and put into my my room by myself for quarantine for a week. And the nurses come in to see me, and they said they can't send any diabetic nurses down to sort me out because they're worried about the corona and transferring it through to the diabetic ward because there's a whole ward there in that hospital for schooling and teaching new diabetics on how to
Okay.
Do the calculations and how to function pretty much. So Did you
did you get a lack of care because they the nurses wouldn't move around the the building?
Yes. Yeah. I would say differently. I had the nurses my first evening in there. I got hooked up to, like, a drip machine to try and bring my blood sugars down.
Mhmm. Just pumping me full of fluids and everything. And the nurse just walked in with a Novo NovoRapid pen and just passed it to me and said, here you go. Use this. And I was like, what do I do with it?
And she was just like, oh, you just put it on a number and put it in your stomach, and then off you go. And I said, well, what number do I put it on? And she's like, I don't know. And I was like, well, great. I don't know either.
Like Oh, I
guess if you don't know, then we'll just whatever.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they ended up going away, coming back a wee while later, and just said, oh, okay.
We'll try this number here. I can't remember. I honestly can't remember what it was, but they said, I'll try this, we'll see what happens. Okay. Yeah.
Okay.
That can't fill you with that can't fill you with confidence, though.
Yeah. No. No. I was a bit shocked. So yeah.
So, yeah, I just did it and got on with it, and it kinda worked out kinda thing. But yeah. So I didn't really get any training or teaching in the first week in there. I just pretty much got the diabetic meals, which weren't very diabetic. They were very carby and starchy.
Mhmm.
Pretty much potatoes, breads. You know? Yeah. Cans of herring, which I absolutely hate.
Cans of herring. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And then, yeah, and drinks. So I ended up having in my balcony window, I think it was it was February, so it's still pretty cool out here. I had I I can't even think how many cans of herring I had sitting out on the windowsill because I couldn't even look at it.
You're painting quite a picture. A Kansan? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, okay.
So how long did they keep you there?
I was in there for a week.
Alright. Wow. And was that because why? Because it was slower because of COVID or because they were having trouble to keep you down? Or
Just just because I kept I was still testing positive, so they had to wait they wanted to wait two days after not testing positive.
Ah, so you were staying there for COVID reasons at that point?
Yeah. Yeah. See. I wasn't even there for the diabetic school. I was in there to separate away.
So So do you use that time I mean, you had you said you had your computer with you. Do you use that time to try to figure something out?
I did, actually. I'm usually a I'm a very highly unorganized individual really in life. You know? I just kinda wing through things and just do it. You know?
Mhmm. But I'm not very that's why I got a German wife. She does all the organization paperwork. So, yeah, I just sat down and did a lot of study online about diabetes, about type one. I did all the learning from New Zealand and Australian websites.
So I was learning all the calculations, you know, carb to insulin ratio and all that kind of stuff with the New Zealand formulas
Okay.
And everything like that, and then just learning about different food types. And then I joined a few groups on Reddit to do with diabetes and just asked them for information and things I should be reading and doing. So I downloaded the free copy of Think Like a Pancreas Mhmm. I think was the first thing I ever read. And then I asked for some more information from people, and they said to give the Juice Box podcast a listen.
Oh, wow.
That's great. Yeah. Well So I started that was the first time I got introduced to your podcast. So I started listening to that too in hospital because I had nothing else to do. I couldn't leave the room.
I couldn't go out. I couldn't do anything. I was locked in there for a week.
Yeah. So Was it helpful? I mean, was the podcast valuable for you?
Yeah. Yeah. I quite I I did learn quite a few things from that as well. I as I said in the email, sent you, I really enjoyed the after dark episodes and things like that and the ones with Jenny. They were they were awesome.
The
magic. Was even listening to a few today at work just to get ready for today, really.
Oh, really? Yeah. That's interesting. Well, then then then then it's nice that somebody, like, suggested the podcast to you. So I would say to the other people who are trash talking me online, look what you would have robbed Scotty of if you would have told him not to come listen to
me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
I think it's it's a very helpful oh, yeah. A very helpful tool. I'm glad. It's I don't listen as often as I used to anymore. I'm kind of in my old age stage now.
Listening to a lot of I don't know what you call it in the stage. Probably, like, NPR radio Yeah. Talk back.
I have to tell you. I I make one of the only podcasts in the world that the goal isn't for you to listen forever. So it's Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'd like you to get to a point where you feel pretty comfortable with your life and you get back to it a little bit.
You know?
Yeah. I just I just jump on and read the titles and the way brief descriptions to see if there's anything that I'm into. And then like, oh, yeah. This sounds alright.
Yeah. I listened to the one last week. You had another dude from New Zealand on that's living in Canada. Yes. I had had to listen to that just to hear the accent because I don't hear it very often over here.
And that was yeah.
Yeah. That's not I can't do the accent for you. I can tell you that
Oh, no. She's a bit of a challenge. Yeah.
What what what made you wanna come do this and and and chat?
Not much. I don't know how to explain, really. I was just oh, it just started January, and I was just thinking. You know? I was listening to quite a few episodes back then in January.
I like, I'd be quite interested in doing this myself. You know? Mhmm. I'm pretty open. Yeah.
I got nothing to hide, so I've got no shame.
Oh, alright.
So I just so I thought I'd send an email and see what was happening.
Alright. Well, we'll we'll pick through your lack of shame and figure something out then. So Yeah. Tell me you know, I guess I would like to know. You went online to learn what you need to do.
What Actually Gave Him Hope19:59
You found some people to point you in different directions. But in the end, like, forget me or anything else. Like, what are the things that you learned that put you on a good path?
Things I learned was just from reading other people's stories online and things like they're just saying it's not I wouldn't say a death sentence, but not it's not a curse. It's not the end of life, if you know what I mean. Mhmm. That's that was my biggest fear mainly. At the time, my boys were only, what, three and seven, I suppose, at that time when I got diagnosed.
And I was just I was more worried than anything for not not being around or not being able to function for them, if you know what I mean. Yeah. So once I read a few other people's experiences and stuff and started reading interviews, a few professional sports players and things like that, just saying it's it's just an adjustment. You don't you know, your life's not over. You will have to make a few changes and things, which I have done, thank god, which Yeah.
To me
pulled me out
of Gave you hope.
Gave me hope, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pulled me out of my rut, really.
And then it's actually probably worked out better for me, actually, to tell you the truth, having diabetes than not. So Well,
I think we'll figure that out in a second. But tell me why why why I mean, you initially think this is it. Right? Like, every everything's destroyed, but what are the what are the thoughts that make you feel like life is destroyed?
What what
what are your concerns? You know?
Was I wouldn't say alienation, but I'm just being left out of things with friends and things like that. Like, I was quite I wouldn't say in the party scene, but, you know, I'm sure I had a few a good drink and hanging out with the boys in the weekends and things like that. And just had a feeling that the alcohol is I wouldn't say it holds friends together, but a lot of my core friend group are big drinkers. Like yeah.
Okay. So you literally thought you weren't gonna be able to go drinking with friends?
Yeah. Pretty much. And just do the things that I'd I like to do kinda thing back then. You know? Kinda I wouldn't say extreme physical activity, but, yeah, physical activity things I like to do.
Yeah. Just
Like, what, like, what what are your what are your physical activities that you enjoy?
I do a lot of bike riding. I used to play a fair bit of I can't play contact sports anymore, but touch rugby.
Mhmm. You don't play contact sports anymore because you're old and you're gonna get hurt Is that why?
No. I've had I've passed my concussion amounts for life.
No. Wait. How many concussions have you had?
It should be should be well over 10. No.
From just messing around for fun?
A mix. Rugby rugby growing up. I played rugby till I was about 22, 23.
Okay.
Started when I was about four years old and played up to then. And then just accidents with the boys in the weekends and stuff like that. You know, play fighting and, you know, attacking each other on the street, having each other's heads on the ground.
Or Yeah. And knock your head around a couple times, you get end up can you describe how long a concussion stays with you when you had one?
Jeez. I wouldn't even tell you. I think the worst one I had was probably three or four days. It was the longest one I had.
Three, four days of just sitting still and not being able to do anything?
No. But just no. Still still working and still doing stuff, but just feeling a bit woozy and dizzy and not not quite myself.
Okay. But yeah. I got it. Interesting. Have you had one you haven't had one since you've been diagnosed?
No. No. No. No. No.
No. I wouldn't say I take things a lot easier now, but I'm I'm not so strenuous as I was. Mhmm.
So How about other autoimmune issues in your family? So do you have other type ones? Do you have No.
Anything else? No one in my family has ever had diabetes type one or, yeah, or type two. I'm trying to think. I think my mom's had shingles and things like that, but that's about it, really, I think. Like yeah.
Few few heart issues and stuff, but, otherwise, yeah, that's pretty much it.
A few heart issues with with people. How about, like Yeah. Yeah. Celiac? Anybody, like how about Hashimoto's?
Nope. No. Have vitiligo, skin coloration changes?
Nope.
Nothing. Just you?
Nothing. Just me.
Yeah. Just just you. Alright. Well, we'll they when they put you on the on the path of MDI Yeah. Is it because you don't want a pump?
Is it because
No. I I I here in Germany, you always start with MDI, and then you gotta prove to them you can control yourself kind of thing with your a one c and things like that. You've usually gotta wait a year to two years over here before you qualify for a pump.
A year to two years before you even qualify. Okay. Yeah. And then what are they? Free given to you by the government?
Yeah. We we have our health insurance is taken out of our wages over here. Mhmm. Kinda think so. The company pays half the insurance, and I pay the other half each month out of my pay.
And, yeah, everything's pretty much covered. I think I think the census Libre three census cost me every three months or six? Yeah. Every three months, I pay €40 for six Census. The insulin's cheapest chips, I think, for a box of Trejail and Nova Rapid, I pay €20 for to two boxes
Okay.
Kind of thing. So it's not excessively expensive over here.
Hey. You're close to dollar per dollar. Right? US to euros? Yeah.
Yeah. Close. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's, like, more like $45.46 dollars, American €40. Okay. Well, that's very reasonable.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not too bad. The cost isn't yeah.
That's not a worry for me at all. So yeah.
Burnout, Dark Days, and Asking for Help25:21
That's awesome. How, you mean you had trouble feeling like like your life was gonna be the same? Did you have worries about your relationship too?
Parts and pieces. Yeah. I had probably the first year. And so what? I'd say I had I ended up going to therapy for the first time in my life.
I got quite severe burnout, diabetic burnout kind of thing.
What did that look like?
I got quite depressed. I was still functioning and doing things, but I I don't know. I just held it back. It's kind of stuff I felt uncomfortable talking to my wife about, but I admitted to her that I think I need to go and talk to somebody, which is a huge step for me. Mhmm.
That's something we don't really do. You know? We Kiwi guys.
Kiwi guys.
Kiwi. Kiwi guys. Yeah. Yeah. You know, as I said earlier, you know, we kinda just bottle it up and hold it down and let it let it build up for ages.
Well, what
if that's the case, if that's how you grew up, then what pushed you to feel like I have to do something I need to tell her?
I just I think the change in me with the diabetes diagnosis and everything, it's just I just decided that I can't not get it out, if you know what I mean. Like
Who's killing it?
It's Yeah. Yeah. Like, I I love my job. I was having good fun, but I'd come home from work at, I don't know, between, like, four and six in the morning absolutely exhausted. I'll be doing, like, twelve hour shifts.
I'm absolutely exhausted. My blood sugars would start crashing pretty much as soon as I got home from from the bit of mix from the extreme work and the few whiskeys and beers I drank at work. So I'd have to come home and eat a ton before I go to bed, and then be wanting to go to bed and then having to sit up and wait for my sugars to climb before I could climb into bed so the alarm didn't go off and wake everybody up.
Did you just end up having a feeling like, can't I can't possibly exist like this forever?
Yeah. Pretty much. I just I got to the point where I was sick of it. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I definitely had some dark thoughts go through my head quite often
About yourself?
About myself and life and if it's really worth All this effort. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. My gosh. Hey. You don't feel like that now?
Oh, no. Oh. No. No. No.
No. No. Life's perfect. I got two healthy boys.
Very, very organized. Yeah. Your perspectives changed. Yeah. The therapist help you with that?
Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. I only went to I only went for about, I think, five or six sessions. Quite expensive over here.
They weren't covered by insurance, so I was paying about a €150 for each session
out of
my own pocket. Yeah. And then, yeah, I went about five or six times, and then, yeah, she helped me a lot, helped me process a lot of stuff, helped me look into myself.
Yeah. Yeah. When when you said to your wife, I I think I need therapy, did she go, oh, no. You definitely do. Thank god you said it, or was she
surprised? Was actually surprised. She was very surprised I brought it up. Yeah. She she couldn't believe I brought it up, actually.
I just said that I needed someone to talk to, and I'd like to talk to you about it, but I don't want to worry you. I don't want to pass this on to you and have you constantly worried about me with the things that I've got going on my head. And she understood.
Scotty, so you you felt comfortable talking to your wife, but you didn't wanna burden her with it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
How did she how did she answer that when you told her that?
She she respected it. She she agreed. I just said that, you know, I don't want you know, it's not that I can't talk to her. I let her knew I I told her it was pretty much all the time when I was feeling down or I wasn't happy or I was feeling burnt out or things like that. But I just I I don't know.
I couldn't stomach telling her what was really going on inside of me, if you know what I mean, with the dark thoughts.
About the dark stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want her to worry.
No. You didn't want her to think you were undervaluing your life together?
Yeah. Yeah. That's and just that, yeah, that I had all this burden on me kind of thing. Like yeah. Because I'm I'm a very happy going guy.
I'm very positive, very enthusiastic. The ADD in me keeps me going and energetic all day every day.
But He he keeps me going.
Yeah. I just I just didn't wanna burden her, really. You know? Yeah.
No. I hear you. I hear you. How did you all that stuff you talked about before the diagnosis, kinda outbursts of of, you know, emotion, things like that, have that all has it all stopped?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I still have the odd day every now and then when I'm fed up and absolutely ticked off and things like that, but that's just life. It's yeah. I've I've learned to accept my diagnosis and what's going on, And Awesome. I think I've adjusted very, very well to it.
Yeah. It's awesome. When something does periodically make you angry, is it the same thing always, or is it not No.
No. It's little things that kinda tick me off kinda thing. Like yeah. I But don't hold on to it for long. I might be ticked off that night, and then the next day, I'm back to my normal self again kinda thing these days now.
Yeah. My therapist taught me a few exercises and things. Yeah. I'm still still using them. I wouldn't say daily, but at least a few times a week.
Grounding exercises?
Yeah. Grounding. And some days when I'll get up, I'll just I wouldn't say meditation, but I'll just sit in a quiet room by myself for five or ten minutes and kinda do my little mantras and things like that just to get my brain and focus going for the day. Or before I jump in my truck for work, I'll yeah. Just try to minutes in there.
Yeah. A little meditation.
Do you
ever do the five four three two one thing?
Yeah. Every now and then as well. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah.
It's great. I mean, it's so great that those tools helped you.
Yeah. Well, they still do.
So Yeah. No. Seriously. I mean and it's it's fantastic. Listen.
You broke free of, you know, I would say societal and probably family structure ideas about therapy. You you know, admitted something to your wife, went to a person, listened to them, actually put the stuff into play. I mean, that's awesome. You know?
Yeah. Yeah. Which is a huge step for me because usually I'd as I said earlier, I just hold it in and not let anybody know what is going on kind of thing.
So And you don't know what changed about you that you didn't wanna do that anymore?
I I it was definitely it was definitely the diabetes diagnosis and things like that. Just you know, knowing that, well, I've got this now. I've had to change. I might as well keep changing going forward. You know?
Oh, so a little oh, so change forced on you, taught you that change wasn't gonna kill you?
Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty interesting. Yeah. Look at you taking the good stuff out of the bad stuff.
Yeah. I know. I know. It's it's very yeah. I just worked out for the best too.
So You
still work at a bar?
Leaving the Bar, Going to His Brother32:07
No. I quit. I worked the bar I worked at I worked for three years with one of my best mates over here in Germany, South African fella. It was his bar. So, yeah, I was hoping him manage that for the last three years.
And then my brother took a big downturn in let me try and think. 2425 was last year. And end of twenty 2024, my brother had a bit of a downturn with his mental health and things like that. Mhmm. I had a big talk to my boss and said, I wanna go to Australia.
My brother lives over in Perth. So I had a big yarn to my boss and that and said, I'd like to go to Australia for a couple months minimum just to go look after my brother and get him back on his feet and things like that. And that I think I need out of the bargain. I need a change.
But you're So You're back now?
No. No. No. I'm I'm in the data center industry now over here in Germany.
I meant you're back in Germany. I'm sorry. I meant you're back
in Germany. Oh, no. No. I'm back in Germany. Yeah.
Yeah. Back in back in Frankfurt now. Yeah. I only went I went in '24.
'24. Was that Yeah. For sure.
Visit helpful
for your brother?
It was. Yeah. Yeah. He had a quite a severe psychotic episode and ended up in the mental health unit there for about six, seven weeks, I think.
Is he out living by himself now?
He's back back out living by himself now. He has a he has a flatmate, like a housemate living with him and his dog and her dog. Yeah. He's doing a lot better now. They changed his medicine all that.
He's gone from, I don't know, like, fifteen, twenty pills a day to, like, an injection every two or three weeks.
Wow. Good for him. Yeah. Yeah. Was this mental health stuff with your family at all, your parents?
No. No. My parents haven't got it. I'd say me and my brother didn't have the cleanest, I'd say, 18 mid twenties lifestyle, if you know what I mean. Yeah.
It's a fair bit of fair bit of drug use and stuff for us back then.
Yeah. Do you think that pushed him into some
sort of a break? It did for him. Yeah. Which I'm quite surprised about. It didn't for me because I definitely took a lot more drugs than he did.
What Yeah. Would you would you
mind telling me what kind of drugs?
I wouldn't say everything, but you you stand at stuff, weeds, disco biscuits, ecstasy, speed, acid, mushrooms, the usual the usual mix.
So just a little and was this, like, weekly or daily?
I'd say the week was definitely daily. The ecstasy was pretty much probably every Thursday, Friday, Saturday for a while. And then mushrooms, well, I don't know, once or twice a month. And then yeah.
Yeah.
Acid, maybe once a month or whatever.
Right. Yeah. What are you gonna tell your kids about drugs?
The truth? Yeah? I yeah. Yeah. That yeah.
I don't know. I'm I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm a crazy parent, but I don't I don't lie to my kids or sugarcoat things to my kids. So if they got a question about something, I would just tell them the straight truth blunt answer with about everything really.
Right. Right. Scott, you sound a little far from the microphone all of a sudden.
Oh, okay. Sorry. You go. Is that better?
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. So you you yeah. I mean, you're gonna you well, how old are your kids?
My oldest is 11 coming on 12, and my youngest is eight.
How old were you and your brother when you started getting high?
I think the first time I ever had weed, I would have been, like, 14, 15.
So the pressure is gonna hit you around that age where you're gonna wanna say something to your kids. Yeah. You don't tell them the whole thing right away. Right?
No. No. No. No. No.
If they got questions about stuff, I'll tell them. But, otherwise, yeah, once my son hits 14, 15, me and my wife will sit down and have the the yarn and then talk to
them Yeah.
And things like that.
You think you would you think you would share with them that you imagine your brother's struggles come from drug use?
Definitely. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. That's
cool. That's good. That's what
you do. Yeah. That's the that's what I'm meant by the sugar coating. You know? I just tell them the blunt truth about everything and my experiences with things and stuff like that.
So Yeah. Brother ever exhibit like, is he do you ever talk about, I wish we didn't do those things, or does he is he pretty clear minded about
Well, I left some I left home at quite an early age. Not that I had a bad childhood or anything like that, but I moved out of home probably at the age of 17 Mhmm. To the next city away, which is probably the two hours away from home, two and a half hours away from my parents' house. My brother stayed in my little hometown, which is a bit of a dump. It's there's not much prospects in my town where I grew up.
You either finished school and work as a builder, a farmer, or in the freezing works like an abattoir
Okay.
Kind of thing. That's about your three main prospects. He got an apprenticeship as a mechanic, and his flatmates at the time, which I didn't really like at all. Didn't like those guys at all, but they were they were into the I'm just trying to think what you call it. A lot more harder stuff than what I was into.
They were into the myth and things like that. Okay. Yeah. So yeah.
Yeah. Did you kinda move away partly to get away? Did you think you'd get sucked into it?
No. No. I went to the city to go not to university, but to, like, polytechnic. Mhmm. I was doing a starting to do a tourism degree through them.
Okay. Yeah. Did the first year, but I got too much into the alcohol, and I wouldn't say well, yeah, and weed, I suppose. Ended up dropping out about six to seven months into the course and just, ended up working for a couple years, in the city there. Living the student life, but on a on a high wage.
Yeah. Is your wife, does she have a similar personality to you, or is she more straight laced?
In between. Yeah. Yeah. She's I wouldn't say crazy, but she's yeah. She's she's a lot more mature and a lot more focused.
Touch, Scotty, when she hears that you wouldn't call her crazy. That's nice.
Yeah. Yeah. No. She's yeah. No.
We're good mix. We're we we definitely suit each other, but she's definitely the organized one and the one that sorts everything out kind of thing.
Right. But, I mean, she's gonna have a little bit of love of this or it would be hard to be with you. Right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. I was just trying I was wondering if if you guys were more of, like, a good blend or if you were going for the yin yang thing when you found each other.
No. No. She's pretty similar to me in some ways, but she's, yeah, she's definitely a lot more organized, a bit more mature, a bit more clued on. I'm still I probably still got the mind of an 18 year old, really, like, when it comes down to things like yeah.
Low or Drunk — 3AM Behind the Bar38:29
What what's it like so what's it like having your, like, bar you know, working in a bar lifestyle and trying to manage Lada? Like, because Lada can be really unpredictable. Right?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I had some very interesting situations at work and things like that. Like, lot of times where I'd be going low behind the bar.
Luckily, Friday, there was three of us behind the bar. So anytime I'd start dipping low, I'd just grab a bottle of cola or something out of the out of the cool out of the fridge. And then I just sat up back on the stairs and have a, yeah, have a Coke, sit down for fifteen, twenty minutes. As soon as I pop back up into the yellow into the low seventies, straight back into work kind of thing. Yeah.
But I had one night where I was working by myself. It must have been about three in the morning, I suppose. And I had quite a few drinks while I was working, which I was trying not to do, but it's quite hard not to do as well when you're dealing with alcohol and people buying you shots and beers and stuff while you're working and just always been sticking with that kind of aspect for the last ten years behind bars. And then my phone started beeping, and I thought I was drunk. And then I had to look at the numbers, and there was no number to show.
All it said was low on the on the phone. So it must have been, I don't know, below 40, I suppose. And I was kinda, yeah, six ways six ways from Sunday, and I was absolutely all over the shop. Luckily luckily, there's only, like, three or four people in the bar, a couple of locals. So I just said to one of the boys, you just watch the bar for ten minutes.
You know, I'll be back soon. Don't do anything stupid.
You couldn't tell at first if you were lower or drunk.
Or drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. So that's kinda that's
I'm sorry. You're wearing a CGM, though. Which one which one is it?
Libra three.
Libra three. Okay. Yep. I would assume that that's a lifesaver for you?
Definitely. It's I had when I come out of the hospital after my three weeks there, I had my endo at the time. She was an absolute legend. I had to wait for my insurance to accept the prescription for the Libra three and Libra three to accept the prescription for my insurance before I get my senses. Okay.
But she snuck into the storeroom at the back and sneakily gave me three or four senses to take home just to get me through till my insurance kicked in. So Yeah. Yeah. It was a lifesaver because I hate doing the finger pricks. I still squeeze I still squirm now doing them every now and then.
I don't do them very often, maybe two or three times a month just to double check Mhmm. To make sure on your senses working or whatever. Yeah. But I hate doing the finger pricks.
How would how have the other adjustments been to, like, adding medical stuff to your life at at a later age? Is it been are the finger sticks not the only thing that are difficult to get get you No.
That's probably that's probably the part I struggle with the worst. The injections and things like that with the MDI, no issue. No problem. I probably gotta stop being so lazy. I don't change the needles every time.
Oh, on
your end? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My new window gives me grief about it now, but I probably use them on average two or three times before I change them.
Right.
Your endo say, do you need do you need pen caps? She goes, no. I got plenty.
Yeah. Exactly. She said, well, how come you got many? You should be out by now. Like, I use them like
two or times. Scotty. Yeah.
You should change them every time. You gotta get an infection. It's like, well, I haven't had one yet. That's just grand. Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Yeah. Or they have they're free.
Right? Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. I think for the for a box of pen, I think for three or four for four boxes of tips, I pay $20.25 dollars a box.
Right? Flatly don't change them because it's just you call it laziness?
Yeah. And I I don't carry them around with me. You know? I would just take the pen I would take the pen off the bench in the morning with me to work or whatever, and that's my pen for the day kind of thing. That's the
biggest pen. Gotcha. I I hear what you're saying.
Yeah. But I don't really I don't really take insulin at work either. I'm too scared to take it at work in case of crash. So What?
Are you high all day?
No. No. No. I I'm pretty steady. With the old department I was in that's with my company now, I was installing server racks at the data centers all around Frankfurt.
So very physical, very hard labor job, especially in the warm rooms and stuff. But my my daily graph was like a yo yo up, down, up, down, up, down kind of thing with all the physical work with that. Mhmm. But I got transferred to the logistics department, I don't know, end of last year, December last year. So now I'm doing parts and parts and order transfers for one of the big companies over here then in we're box fans.
So I'm just driving a box fan around the city all day delivering components and pieces for the data centers now.
And that's easier on your blood sugar, not you're not Oh. Yeah.
There's not there's not much physical work to it. A little bit, but not much, but I'm usually probably hovering around between, like, one twenty and 01:40 during the day.
Okay. Yeah. And and you're still as the with the driving job now, you're giving yourself more insulin, or you're still concerned about it?
No. I give myself my what do call it? The bezels increased over double. When I was doing the physical work, I was probably taking between six and eight units a night. Okay.
And then now this job's not so physical. I take about between fourteen and sixteen units a night.
Yeah. You need more because you're not moving around as much.
Yeah. I'm not moving around so much. Yeah. And I just adjust what my workload is gonna be like for the next day and especially the weather. If it's really hot, I can drop the bezel rate down quite a bit Yeah.
Over here.
Hey. You still with the kebabs, or did you give them up?
I probably have one a month now. There's a there's a bang on kebab shop just around the corner from my house here in Germany. So, yeah, probably once a month A little faster? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Cheaper cheap oh, not so cheap these days now, but easy easy to know.
Kebabs are probably cost more than the needle caps.
Well, the the the kebab inflation's hit the roof over here. They're gone from I think when I first moved here in 2011, they were €3 to $3.50. Now you're paying between 10 and $12
or €12. Crazy because you know it doesn't cost them anymore to make it. Right?
Wow. Yeah. As I as I said before, it's it's just compressive. It's a bit of everything on a big roll. No.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fantastic. So
Did you
Kebab Explosion44:34
call it a kebab explosion? What'd you say just now? Whatever you just said, I'm making the title of this episode. Whatever you just said a second ago.
I mean, we'll go we'll go with kebab explosion.
Yeah. Forget whatever. I'm gonna prompt what I'm talking to my editor. Whatever he said, like, sixty seconds ago, that's the title of the episode. So okay.
So you're doing that, and and what are they I mean, how do they manage a lot? Like, you're an adult. You're in another country. You don't speak the language, like, as well. No.
Like, how do they how are they managing this idea for you of this, like, slow descent of in of your insulin need? Because they're already you're it's gonna pick up as time goes on, but it's happening incredibly slowly.
Yeah. Life I I honestly haven't had it fully explained to me yet either. I've just been told to watch out for spikes and to increase. I'm pretty much I make all the adjustments myself really with the bezel and things like that. Mhmm.
I only go to the hospital maybe I have to go every three months for a a one c checkup and a few bits and bobs. Once a year, they test the end of my toes and things like that for failing. Up to me to go get my
stuff then. No one sat down. Has anyone ever sat down explained Lada to you? Is that a thing you had to figure out on on your own online?
I I my first endo was phenomenal. She was an absolute legend. She's not an endo anymore now, though, unfortunately. So I had her for probably the first year. She was phenomenal.
She explained everything to me. She was similar age to me, and she did quite well of explaining it to me and everything. But Mhmm. Even she said, you know, you know, Scotty, you know, if you feel like eating schnitzel and chips or burgers or anything, just don't be a wimp. That's what the insulin's for.
You know? That was yeah.
Tell me that's what your endo told you.
That is what my endo told me. She told me not to be a wimp.
Let's just
eat what I want. But yeah. Sorry. Because remember, like, when I come out of hospital, I'll I went, like I for the first month, I went, like, keto friendly and low carb and all that kind of stuff, and I was miserable.
You know, I think But when she stopped being an ENDO, what's she doing now? OnlyFans? What's she
No. She's actually she's working for Abbott over here in Europe now.
The pharma company?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Who she went in the industry, as they say. Yeah. I gotcha. So she's She decided to make some money.
Yeah. I think so. She's probably getting paid a lot more without the stress. So
Yeah. I can't believe that's what she said. When she said that to you, did you just think, oh, I should have married you. You're awesome.
Oh, she was she was pretty cute. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, no.
She was she was really good. Because I my language isn't fluent far from I can understand they're fluent, but my speaking's still a bit broken Mhmm. For German. So she was my teacher for the two just over two and a half weeks I was in the diabetic unit. Yeah.
So she's she'd come eat me for two, three hours a day and would go through all the formulas and everything. She was teaching me the German calculations and formulas with KE and all that kind of stuff, and I couldn't get my head around it. So I just said, oh, look. You know? That last week, I was in the isolation station for corona.
This is the formula I learned here between Australia and New Zealand, the Oceania formulas, and showed her all the the maths and everything behind it, and she couldn't believe how much more simple it was than the German system to join the calculations and everything. So
I'll tell you what. While you're talking well, I keep thinking, how close are we to I mean, people not even explaining anything to you anymore. Like, forget medicine. Like, someone's just gonna tell you, like, go home and whatever AI thing you're using, go ask it. Like, that's Yeah.
It's gonna be like that very soon because Pretty much. It already is to be perfect. Yeah. Like, yeah, every nobody tells you anything. You know?
Like No. No.
Two Endos, Two Very Different Experiences48:12
But I got I got a new endo now. She's not so great. She's, I'd say, your your textbook German. She's pretty cold. Doesn't really explain anything to me much at all.
I had about six months ago my second last Endo appointment. They tested my urine, and my protein count in my urine was off the charts. Like
Okay.
Like, extremely off the charts. She was asking me when I come back in a couple weeks later, she called me into the hospital to come and talk to her just because the liver was so high. She was asking if was taking creatine and things like that. And if I was doing power lifting and things like that, and I was like, no.
Nothing. I'm driving a van. Leave me alone.
Yeah. So I'm the most physical thing I'm doing is moving pellets and, yeah, lifting things all day.
Do you Are they thinking there's something wrong with your kidneys or what it's
Well, they did it. They tested everything, and it's normal. So they think I might have just had a infection in my system at the time.
Okay. Yeah. Not a thing we're worried about then.
Yeah. I had my my friend from France is here on the weekends. A doctor as well. So I gave her all the paperwork from that time, and she just said, yeah. Everything's normal.
Kind of
doctor kind of doctor is your friend?
She's just a house house arts. Okay. Just a house doctor.
Yeah. Gotcha.
Yeah. But she said all my numbers are perfect, but she said, yeah, that thing's probably more than likely just an infection Mhmm. In the system. What are your what
are your kids' what's your kids' reaction to the diabetes, like, you give yourself shots and things?
They're they're used to it. They were so helpful when I come out of hospital. They were amazing. I sat down and had a big talk to them. That was the hardest part for me to tell the truth was in the hospital because it was corona season.
I wasn't allowed any visitors at all.
Yeah. By yourself.
In the hospital. I didn't get to see my family for a long time until my legend of a specialist. There's a restaurant built into the side of the hospital where the patients can go in and get food or people from the street can go in and get food. You know? And she said to me, oh, I'm not I'm not I'm not telling you this, but just so you know, if you happen to go get something to eat from the cafe downstairs and your family happened to be in there getting something to eat at the same time, we we can't do anything about it.
So Yeah. Yeah. So I organized a few times just to see the kids and the wife and things like
that to meet
me down there.
How much of that corona time do you think had to do with the sadness you felt afterwards? Do you think maybe if people would have been around you in that first week, it would have been easier?
I honestly don't think it would have made a difference. No. I made a lot of phone calls. Yeah. And I was I was on the phone a lot.
Once I got moved out of the isolation station into the diabetic unit, I was allowed outside. So I couldn't go I couldn't leave the hospital itself, but I could walk around the grounds and do things. And my work actually was probably about 500 meters away from the hospital there. So I'd stand at the gate, send a message to the pub. Quite a few of the boys from the pub had walked down with their beers, and we'd just stand in each side of the fence having yarns and stuff outside the side of the fence and things like that.
Hanging out with different assistants.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's good
friends. Yeah.
Yeah. That's good friends.
So Well,
that's you have you have a fairly like, it's you feel like you have an exciting life to me. Like, I'm thinking about the rest of my day, and I'm like, I don't do anything nearly as fun as Scottie does. Well,
I haven't got much on the cars and stuff. I'll throw the kids in bed, then, yeah, I'm gonna have some couch time tonight, I think.
So yeah. So you this diagnosis for you really shifted your life. Like, it took
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For the better.
It took you from, like, full speed ahead. I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna get high. I'm gonna stay up. I'm gonna eat at 05:00 in the morning to I'm gonna act like an adult.
I'm taking care of myself now.
Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't say I'm I wouldn't say I act like an adult now, but I'm definitely taking things a lot more slower. I'm a lot more cautious with things now, especially with when it comes to food and things like that. Mhmm.
I don't eat nowhere near as much. I still eat like garbage, but I don't eat near as much of the processed garbage that I used to and things like that. So
yeah. Yeah. You feel a are you feeling a responsibility to model better behavior for your children, or are you trying to
stay alive? Just from just from myself. Just it's just the adjustment with the diabetes and all that with you know? Do I eat that bag of chips? I'm gonna have to take so many units of insulin now just to warrant having that bag of chips off.
I'll have to take too deep into it. The diabetes is just making you feel like I have to pay attention to this now. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Pretty much.
That's Yeah.
Yeah. Got
it. I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out. But, like, I I I'm trying because you're talking about a shift and it was the diabetes, and I don't know if it's maybe wording differences that had me thrown off or not, but, like okay. Well, I'm glad to I mean, I'm glad to talk about all of it to try to figure it out. But but you just made you say to yourself, my health is more of a pressing issue now.
I need to pay attention to these items.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't I don't have the weekly benders like I used to anymore. I might have one or two blowouts a year now on the booze with the boys, but, otherwise, I limit myself to maybe two or three beers.
I can't even before diabetes, I can't. Once I get past three beers, I'm out till I hit the floor or out at night kind of thing. So Mhmm. I limit myself now to two or three beers at most in the sitting.
Are you are you drinking only, or do you do like, do you smoke weed still? Or is it
I still smoke weed. It's it's legal right here in Germany, so I have the odd odd plant in my balcony every now and then
Okay.
During the summer over here. I see.
Yeah. Your wife too?
Yeah. She when we were together before the kids, we used to smoke a fair bit of weed together, but now she she dabbles, but not often. I'd say once or twice every few months. She will have a little puff or whatever. But I've just changed to a, like, a herbal vaporizer now for the last probably six or seven months, and that's been a been a game changer.
The ones that just heat it up. Right? No smoke? I was just I just yeah. I've had people on here talk about that before.
Yeah. It's been a it's been a game changer. So I was smoking joints for years beforehand, but I'd have to go outside. And we have a we have a law here in Germany with assistance from schools and playgrounds and things like that. Whereas my house is kind of right on the edge of the forest in the Dead End Street neighborhood, but there's a playground right beside my house kinda thing.
So I was always paranoid about the cops catching me having a joint in the evening outside. I don't I don't don't smoke weed around my children or anything like that. I usually wait till they've gone to bed till, like, 09:30, 10:00 at night, and I'll go out and have a little puff and then come back and chill out for an
hour or here. Some of the places, they make it legal. You go outside. You're like, my god. Does, like, everybody get high?
Like, it Yeah.
I had to I was in Florida about two months ago. Right. Yeah. Just everywhere. Yeah.
But yeah. Yeah.
I went out I I I gave a talk in Atlanta a few weeks ago, and I ran out at night, like, across street to just to get a sandwich somewhere. And just crossing the street, I was like, my god. Like, am I in it smells like I'm inside and everybody's smoking. Yeah.
Yeah. I was, it was like that in Frankfurt even before I got legalized over here. So yeah.
Yeah. Nothing really changed. They just made it legal.
No. No. Just just just less trouble you can get in now. So
yeah. Everything's exactly the same. It's just legal now. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I hear that. Yeah. Well, what did you what are you thinking about a pump? Is it a thing that's in your head?
Like or are you not sure?
Wouldn't say that I'm I'm the thing it was not in the head as such. It's just with I do a lot of resting with my kids, and I'm in a lot of tight spaces at times and stuff with the job and things like that. I'm just worried about it getting caught on something and ripping it out. The thing I don't like the most is having to change it every three days Okay. From site to site.
Right. Yeah.
The trade off there for changing it every three days versus giving yourself an injection a few times a day is not doesn't feel like
the pressure. Are so easy. So easy and quick.
Mind them all. Yeah.
Nah. Nah. What's it's I don't really take any oh, sorry?
No. I've I almost stepped on you, but go ahead and talk. I'm sorry.
Oh, I don't really take much insulin during the day. I don't really take any insulin during the day at all. It's just in the evenings when I get home for dinner and things like that. That's it.
Yeah. You think when the insulin becomes a bigger part of your life, you might look at it again?
Yeah. If once my pancreas fully carcassed and then my my rates go up, then I'll probably definitely look at getting
You might look at it again at that point. Yeah. Yeah. But for the moment gonna be even.
Yeah. Exactly. My my ratios are pretty low at the moment. I'm think I'm on one unit of insulin per ten grams of carbs at the moment.
Basal, Heat, and Adjusting on the Fly56:27
So How much basil do you use a day?
Basil, I'd say
You shoot a
twelve twelve and sixteen.
Twelve and sixteen. Depending on your activity and the heat. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. When I was in Florida a couple months ago, I think I had to chop it down to two or three units over there just for the heat and everything.
So was hitting. It was was really helping. It was helping the the insulin move around. You're probably more active too than you are sitting at home.
Oh. Yeah. But I still do. I don't know. I probably average between, like, I'd say, and 18,000 steps a day with my job.
Oh, so like that. Yeah. So you really you really feel like it was the heat. That's why I dropped down. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And it's hot there now, you said, in Germany?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't too bad today. I think she was above me 30 degrees Celsius, but yesterday and the day before, 33, 34.
Okay. And are you are you adjusting your insulin for that too?
Yeah. Yeah. I went down to eight units just for the last few heat days. And then last night, I went back up to 12 because I thought I was gonna have an easy day. I had an easy morning, but the afternoon was absolutely slammed, but it wasn't too bad.
So humid there too?
It can. In the evenings, it does. I'm right out by the forest, so it's not too bad. But if you go into the city of Frankfurt itself, it's absolutely heinous. Okay.
So I've been in Saigon or something. Just with all the all the concrete buildings and, yeah, cobblestones and high rise towers and everything, it just holds the heat.
Sits in there and holds the heat and everything. Yeah. Jeez.
Yeah. Yeah. And Germans Germans still don't know about the great air conditioner. Yeah.
Oh, and or or is that another place they don't have air conditioning?
Yeah. They're they're not the biggest of it. I've got it here at home. We can have it installed here at home, but they don't like it over here. Not many places have it.
And the houses are very old. Like, the house I have is under the roof, so it gets very hot in the summer. Mhmm. So, yeah, we've had the air conditioning for the last few years upstairs, and it's been a lifesaver.
I don't know how people live without it, to be perfectly honest.
No. No. Neither do I. Like, yeah, everything's run off the old radiator heaters and stuff in the winter. Mhmm.
And yeah. Yeah. The the Germans love opening the windows even when it's negative 12 outside. Open the windows to get the fresh air in the house in the mornings. And yeah.
Oh, jeez. Yeah. I'm okay. I don't need to I don't need to my wife leaves for work sometimes. She's like, well, here goes a week with no ice.
I'm like, yeah. Yeah. That's I gotta be drinking warm drinks for a week. I gotta go to Europe. I'll see you later.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But, you know, it makes sense. I think the electrical grid's not really the same in some of these places too. Although Germany is pretty pretty modern. Right?
Yeah. They took a lot nuclear reactors offline.
Oh, I remember that.
Yeah. Yeah. Was a bit of a bit of a mess, and then we had the issue with the gas and stuff once the war started in Ukraine. Gas process went through the roof. Still not as bad now, but, yeah, the house gas and things like that.
You think they'll crank
those reactors back up or no?
Well, there's talks of it, but I don't know. Yeah. The green party is too high on power over here at the moment, I think. So I don't think there's yeah. There's talks of it happening, but, yeah, I just said I had a big solar panels on my roof two or three months ago, which has been a game changer here as well.
So Please. I but make sure my news is right on this. They were they wanted to cut the reactors down for social, like like, reasons, like, you know, around around and then they ended up burning, like, way more gas or something for it or something.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And coal. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right. They had
to go
back to coal. That's the story I heard. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.
We'll fix it.
Yeah. I had, Yeah. I've I've actually one of my one of my friends is actually a nuclear engineer, and, yeah, he he lost his job and had to go move to France to go work there because yeah.
We'll shut the reactors off and start burning coal again. Everything will be cleaner. Don't you worry.
It'd be fun if you're hunky dory. You know? It's cleaner. It's better.
Yeah. I wish people would stop pretending there was an actual answer to anything. And
Yeah. You know what
I mean?
Yeah. No. It's stupid. And then, yeah, the prices of electricity went through the roof as well after they turned all the nuclear stuff off and everything as well.
So listen. I'm I'm I'm waiting for the the the part in in the future where we all get a little tiny desktop reactor that powers our house. I'm I'm I'm Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Because I was listening I was listening to my NPR today, and they're talking about how America's planning on building the station on the moon. Like yeah.
Yeah. Good luck.
Yeah. Mean I wonder if I wonder if to get the helium three to make some cold cold fusion or whatever.
Yeah. If I see them fill some of the potholes around here, I'll imagine that they can get to the moon and build a reactor.
It's not it's it's not just your country with potholes then. Yeah. It's mine as well. So
You show me 10 guys in the same place and get something done, and I'll go, okay. Maybe we can accomplish this.
Yeah. I know. But there's always 10 guys. One's only doing the work, another night send it around watching
the Three of them called out sick and the other ones are wild.
Yeah.
It's kinda like, could build a reactor on the moon if you guys would just be like, shut up. And then what if we just went to the bar you shut up? How would that be?
Yeah. Exactly. Sit the corner and be quiet and jukeepied.
Yeah. Yeah. I showed up at my first job out of school, and those guys pulled me aside in no time. And they were like, what are you trying to prove? Slow down.
And I was like, well, I'm just working. And they're like, not that fast. Don't don't ruin it for the rest of us. And I was
like Yeah. You're gonna make us look bad. Yeah. And
got that talk real quick when I got out of it.
I was cool. Increase the workflow and make me look bad. Yeah.
Just slow down is what I was told. Yeah. And it wasn't a friendly conversation. I got pulled to a corner by a bunch of bunch of grown men. I was, like, 19 years old.
I was like, oh, oh, okay.
Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's try to fear him when he's young.
Well, no kidding. What what are you trying to prove? First words out of one of their mouth. I was like. I'm trying to keep my stupid job where I make $4.50 an hour.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah. Yeah. I already that was my first job. It only $4.75 an hour.
Exactly. Oh. Don't know. Pranking around, and then this guy pulls me aside, and he's like, no. No.
No. I don't think those guys are gonna get a reactor on the moon either is what I'm saying.
No. No. No. Yeah. They're probably they're probably fine.
When people complain about capitalism, like, you know, the the desire for money is the only thing that makes anybody do anything. You're like
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah. We wouldn't have anything if their scumbags weren't out there trying to get rid.
Oh, no. Yeah. No. No. No way.
No. No. No. Yeah.
Let or them we're gonna be walking again. Wow. We can't walk. That's over. I just want to say.
Yeah. It's so funny. Oh my gosh. Alright. I I mean, have we done any of what you imagined we'd do when you came on here, are we just messing around?
I'd I prefer the messing around. It's my it's my it's my forte.
Yeah. You're not gonna hear this on NPR. I'll tell you that much.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No. No.
No. No. Yeah. No. Not with the seven second delay that we're blurring all the swear words or anything at.
No.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't I there's part of me that needs to keep this episode shorter so I don't go over on editing cost for the cursing. But, but, no, seriously, though. Like, I think chatting like this is good sometimes.
Like, I don't I Oh, definitely. Yeah. You're a real person In the middle of being an adult, you were living a certain life, and somebody showed up and it was like, hey. That's it. You have diabetes now.
Everything's different. You you were really honest about all the different ways it impacted you. And I think you're being honest about the fact that you don't really have it all worked out yet. You're just you're No. No.
It's I just I just tell everyone my my daily life is like a science experiment. Every day is different. I don't know what's going on, and I'll just deal with it when it pops up. Yeah. But you
I've Scott, you characterize yourself as happy, though. Right? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Yeah.
Definitely.
A 5.6 by Loosening the Grip1:03:52
Yeah. Still have my moments every now and then, but I don't have the burnout like I did. I function pretty well. My averages in a one c is great. It's I think the last test I had two months ago, I think my a one c was 5.6.
Woah. Look at you. That's awesome.
And then I I think my average is, I think, 85 in the range.
Hey. Good for you.
That's awesome. Yeah. I I I figured out last year, the less I'm focused on it and the more blahs I am about it, the better my averages in a one c is. Whereas if I'm hovering over it and trying to concentrate more on it, the worst it is.
You you had too tight of a grip on it. You're overmatched.
Yeah. I wouldn't say tight of a grip, but I was hyper focused on it.
Okay.
Yeah. Now I I probably check my sensor maybe five or six times a day. That's about it really now.
Yeah. I don't know that people believe me or not, and I certainly don't have as much to do with Arden's diabetes since she's older, but I just have a I I have a, you know, an my alarms are set where they're set. And if the thing doesn't beep, I don't look at my phone.
Yeah. Same as me. Yeah. It's I've turned off the high settings because I was sick of that going off in the night when I'm trying to sleep. Because once I get up in the night, it's a real challenge for me to go back to sleep.
So Right.
I've turned off the high settings, but I got the low set. I think once I hit 75, then my alarm goes off just to let me know.
I have to say, Arden just finished her her semester. So it's gonna be a little confusing for people. She has graduated, but she only walked. She still has three courses left to actually get her diploma. So she finished the semester.
She's gotta go back one more time. But this is, like, the day or two after the semester, so she's just sleeping.
Right?
So I I I just look because I was I I found myself thinking about it. At 8AM, she was asleep. And I thought, oh, the the algorithm's doing a good job of pushing her blood sugar where it should be, but it'll go it should go a little faster. I gave her, like, a bump of, like, a quarter of unit of insulin, and that was now moved five and a half hours ago. I haven't thought about it since, and I just pulled up her six hour graph.
She's been between one ten and seventy seven for the last, like, six hours.
Yeah. That's yeah. That's yeah. Yeah.
I wish
I I could get my averages down to there. I'm usually hovering, I'd say, between 01:20 and 01:40.
Yeah. Well, Scotty, that's an algorithm. That that's doing a lot of work behind the scenes, given and taking its own away and stuff like that.
So Yeah. I'm pretty I'm pretty glad to have that at all. I just I just take it when I need
some time. I think you're doing a great job. I mean, sounds like you're doing a great job to me. Honestly, you've you've balancing your mental health with your with your physical health and your, you know, the amount of effort and time you're putting into it, it's, it all sounds like a good thing to me.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No. I'm I'm in a I'm in a good spot at the moment.
So yeah. I have one last question. How much do you let your wife in on the diabetes stuff now? Like, could she help you if she needed to? Does she understand glucagon?
Like or is it a thing you
kinda keep saying? I had I had a big lesson with the boys and things like that when I first came out of hospital, still do now. We sit down and talk about a family about everything really. We don't really hide anything from each other. I've got a good we have a very good relationship with our kids.
My oldest will come to me and my wife very often with problems he's having in life and things like that, which I'm so thankful for. You know? He's not hiding it away. But the the kids know exactly what to do if they find me on the floor or anything like that. I've never passed out or had anything yet.
You know, I'm not saying it's not gonna happen, but
I'm not gonna
wait for
you if you want. There you go. Yeah.
Yeah. But I have little I have little stashes of those Glutagon inhalers and things like that hidden around the house and stuff. So Yeah. The boys know where to grab one and know exactly what to do and things like that.
It's
awesome. I've got the Libra hooked up to my wife's phone as well. So she's she's quite onto it. If I'm if I don't know what's going on or I'm not paying attention and my phone goes low, she'll send me a WhatsApp straight away or give me a ring. Are you okay?
What's going on? Yeah. Blah blah blah. Blah. Yeah.
Yeah.
So Is that is that about the level of com is that where you want it?
That's pretty much all I needed, really. They they know what to do if there's an emergency or anything like that, but we haven't crossed that bridge yet.
And,
yeah, I've had no issues around the house or anything with it. But there's been times and stuff where we've been out and about. I forgot to put, you know, glucose tablets or some sugar in my pocket, and me and the wife have gone for a walk. And I've had we've had to stop and then ring one of our friends to come pick us up to take me home again because it's too far to walk home
Mhmm.
Because I'd I'd crash and things like that. But yeah.
She's comfortable too. She doesn't ask you for more than what you're giving?
No. No. That's there's nothing really more to give if you know what I mean.
No. No. Yeah. It's good. I was just trying to say it's a good balance for both of you.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't wanna burden her with too much of it, but there's not much she can really do for me really either anyway. Like, it's yeah.
Yeah.
You're an adult.
Right? She's yeah. And she she watches. She keeps an eye on the numbers and things like that. When she tell me, oh, you're bit high.
Do you think you need some insulin? Bits and bobs. But, otherwise, I'm pretty much just left to my own devices, really.
Any concern for the kids now that you have type one? Are
The Antibody Test He Doesn't Want1:09:00
you There is there is a bit. I can't get the I can my endo asked if I'd like to do the antibody test with them
Mhmm.
To see if they have the antibodies, but I don't want to. I don't want to know, if you know what I mean.
It's not known you for an hour, and I could've guessed that's what you were gonna say. So
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It you
you don't wanna know because you don't wanna worry?
That's yeah. If I knew they had them, and I'd be waiting for the bomb to explode, if you know what I mean.
I that would be bad for your your mental health.
Yeah. I think so too. So I'd rather let them I'd be more worried about them. I'd rather they're at that age now where I just want them to be kids and have fun, you know, not have to have anything. I don't want the thing in the back of my mind either.
You know? Right. Right. Right. So yeah.
But it's very
and you'll you'll you'll speak up.
Yeah. Exactly. I do the old I do the old finger prick with them every now and then. You know? It's a fun game.
Have you ever caught a a nat of whack blood sugar? No. Good. Not at all.
That's awesome. So my my old endo, she just said, you know, chances are very, very low. I think she said it was, like, eighteen to twenty percent or something that the kids could get diabetes as well.
Yeah. Well, you probably answered, hey. Is there any worry about kids? And she said, stop being such a wimp, Scotty.
Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Even even she said, you know yeah.
Pretty much. She just said, oh, you know, if you wanna do it, do it. But if you don't wanna know, you don't have to know.
I have to say just in case any of my doctors are listening, I would love it if we had conversations like that. So feel free.
Oh, that's the thing I missed that's the thing I missed about my first endo. She was I was so comfortable with about talking with her about everything and anything. Yeah. My new one, not so much now. Like yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. You said different. Yeah. No. You only get special people like that don't come around all that often.
You know?
No. No. So, yeah, I'm a gutted about it, but it's it's alright. I just go and get my meds, get tested, come home again. Yeah.
It's pretty much
What time is it there? Yeah.
Quarter past seven at night.
Oh, you gotta get going. Okay.
No. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You do.
Yeah. The kids go to bed about nine, 09:30. So yeah. Let's They're out in the pool. They're out in the pool with their mates swimming anyway.
So
Oh, no kidding. Yeah. I wish I was a kid. That sounds awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm gonna drive to the pharmacy instead after this and then come back and make Facebook ads.
Yeah. No. I get the I get the neighborhood kids ringing the doorbell every day. Towels, tugs on. Winston home.
I come in. Yeah. Just out the back in the pool. Out the back in the pool.
Now, Scotty, those kids have you eyed up. They know that you're where they're gonna get their drugs from five years from now. So they're
Well, possibly. Possibly. Yeah. I'll tell what, it's not it's not much of a challenge over here in Germany anyway. So yeah.
They're like, listen. I think I think Scottie's gonna be able to hook us up one day.
Yeah. Yeah. No. And there's there's a few of us in the neighborhood. Like yeah.
Yeah. I went around to my my other son's friend that lives down the road instead. I went around to see him the other night in Aveyard. He's like, oh, do you smoke? I was like, oh, I don't smoke cigarettes, but I smoke the other stuff.
Come with me. Come with me. Yeah. Yeah. I got three kilos in the cellar here.
Take an ounce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's Pablo Escobar's living up the street from you.
So yeah. It's yeah. But it's you know, I'm I don't know. I don't I'm trying to think what you'd say. I don't think there's anything wrong with weed
at all. I think
it's much more cleaner and better than alcohol. It's yeah. My wife prefers me on the weed than the alcohol.
I would listen. I prefer you smoke weed than drink alcohol. I am we I'm I'm building a a a like, a proper recording studio in my basement, and, you know, I had painters come in to paint after the drywall went up and everything. And, like, it like, everybody's walking around the house looking at each other funny and, like, every and then finally, we all just kinda because we all work at home. Like, you know what I mean?
So we all collected together and we're like, hey. The painters are high. Right? And then and, and everybody's like, oh, is that what that is? I'm like, yeah.
I was like, I think that's what's going on here. So but I'll tell you what, they paint great. He's got that brush in his hand, and he's, like, lining the wall. And I'm stunned at how great the line looks between, like, the wall and the ceiling.
He's I think it's a pretty standard. I got mates at home and use it on the other pages, and that's pretty much how they function. A quick joint in the van before they go in for work.
And then that house is perfect. I said, I don't I don't question anything. Look how nice that line is at the ceiling. It's
Yeah. Exactly. If it works, it works. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I care. No kidding. Alright. Well, Scotty, I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you very much.
Oh, no. It was great. Yeah.
Did you have a good time?
I did, actually. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. A lot more comfortable than I thought it was gonna be.
You said you were really nervous at the beginning, but did it end up
that way? Yeah. Yeah. I was I was I'm in an hour in this morning when I got up.
Do I do it? Do I not? No.
Were you gonna bail on me? Is that what you're thinking?
I was I'm in an hour in about it. Like yeah.
Nobody bails. Don't bail on me. I'm busy. I sit over here.
I'm waiting for you when I Yeah. Talk to talk to the talk to the wife about it this morning and stuff. And she's like, I just She said Scotty.
She she said call your doc old doctor. She'll tell you what to do.
Exactly. Don't be a wimp, Scotty. Do the podcast. No. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. Alright, man. Hold on one second for me.
Yeah. All good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It seems that the podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Mobi with Control IQ plus technology at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. There are links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to Tandem and US Med, who also sponsored this episode of the juice box podcast. Get started with US Med at usmed.com/juicebox, or call (888) 721-1514. Get your free benefits check and get started today with US Med, the same place that we get our diabetes supplies.
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#1913 Two Mirrors Part 2
Two Mirrors Part 2
Part two. The advice lands — two mirrors bouncing anxiety back and forth. Hidden apple pouches, a thyroid checklist, a Texas move, and Scott’s blunt fix for a burned-out mom.
Jump to a moment
- The advice part one built to: you’ve got to actually calm down — not perform calm. Scott’s image for it: Amy and Emily are “standing very close to each other like two mirrors, just bouncing anxiety back and forth.”
- “Don’t say the thing. Do the thing.” People don’t learn by being told — they learn from experiences that make their nervous systems comfortable. Kids absorb what parents are, not what they say.
- The hidden apple pouches: Emily treats lows in secret because lows scare her, then lands at 400 with no explanation — and sometimes skips food to avoid another shot. Scott flags it plainly as a pattern worth real therapeutic attention, and the Mobi should remove the extra-shot barrier.
- “In range” is not the same as right: Amy’s TSH is 4.33 with a near-perfect hypothyroid symptom checklist — fatigue, weight gain, cold sensitivity, brain fog, mood changes — and Scott, on tape, sends her to fix it. Emily’s 2.8 is worth watching in a family full of Hashimoto’s.
- Find something you can control that isn’t diabetes (or your husband, or the sweet eight-year-old): a hobby, a run, golf. A rested caregiver with her own life does this job better — and Scott ends by yelling at the recycling department to prove the point.
- Part One — JBP #1911 — Start here — the diagnosis story, the needle phobia, and two sleepless years
- SugarPixel — The bedside CGM display Scott plugs mid-episode — now with characters, including a pirate Scott
- Tandem Mobi — The pump Emily is about to start; sponsor link
Every word of the conversation
Welcome to Part Two0:00
Hello, friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Juice Box podcast. My diabetes pro tip series is about cutting through the clutter of diabetes management to give you the straightforward practical insights that truly make a difference. This series is all about mastering the fundamentals, whether it's the basics of insulin, dosing adjustments, or everyday management strategies that will empower you to take control. I'm joined by Jenny Smith, who is a diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal experience, and we break down complex concepts into simple, actionable tips. The diabetes pro tip series runs between episode one thousand and one thousand twenty five in your podcast player, or you can listen to it at juiceboxpodcast.com by going up into the menu.
Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Today's podcast is sponsored by US Med. Usmed.com/juicebox. You can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do, and I'm talking about Dexcom, Libre, Omnipod, Tandem, and so much more.
Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Today's episode is sponsored by the Tandem Mobi system with Control IQ plus technology. If you are looking for the only system with auto bolus, multiple wear options, and full control from your personal iPhone, you're looking for Tandem's newest pump and algorithm. Use my link to support the podcast, tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. Check it out.
This is part two of a two part episode. Go look at the title. If you don't recognize it, you haven't heard part one yet. It's probably the episode right before this in your podcast player. You gotta calm the fuck down.
Gel Nails and a Blepharoplasty2:11
So Yeah. Yes. Yes. I do. So this is really weird and probably TMI, but I had a blepharoplasty done.
Oh, this is a weird thing.
Wait a while.
Yeah. So I somehow, when my son was, like, 12 old, my the bottom below my eyes blew up, swell swelled like a bee sting with like, a person who has an allergy to a bee would potentially look like, And my eyelids swelled. And it took two, three weeks to go down, so I didn't wear my contact lenses in that time. And then it happened again. And I was like, what the heck is going on?
And I thought, is something during my pregnancy be I've now become allergic to contact lenses. So I went ahead and I got PRK, which is, like, a form of LASIK, but my corneas were too thin to do LASIK, so I had to get PRK. Whatever. So I did this whole surgery to fix my vision so I wouldn't have to wear contacts because I didn't wanna wear glasses because I'm a runner. And so then I moved to London then I was in London.
Sorry. And then I, it happened a third time. And I saw a private dermatologist in London, and she was like, are you wearing gel nail polish? And I was like, yeah. She's like, that's what's doing it.
I was like, are you fucking kidding me? So I have three episodes of the most swollen eyelids one could possibly get, and it was because I had a systemic inflammation from the chemicals in gel nail polish that went through my bloodstream to my eyelids. And if you Google it, it's a thing, apparently. So she's like, the problem for you is that this has happened three times. The skin on your eyelid is so thin, it's never going to stretch to go back now that it's stretched so much.
So I had extra skin on my eyelid that I could feel the weight of it, and people would be like, I don't see it. But I could feel the weight of my eyelids. And so I had an upper blepharoplasty. So they cut the it's like plastic surgery, but, like, I did it because it was so heavy. People do it for, like, looks, but I just had it done, April 30.
So I have the scars still from my, you know, stitches or whatever. And during the procedure so I was not under full anesthesia. I was just sedated. Mhmm. And during the procedure, I hear my low alarm go off, and I'm like, oh, like, so out of it.
I'm like, listen. I need my phone. And the guy's like, no. I don't think that's I'm like, yeah. I need my phone.
So the nurse brings me my phone, and I open it. And she's 55, and she's in school. Right? And I'm like, oh, damn. And this is the words coming out of it.
Oh, it's because I'm sedated. I'm like, oh, she could go into a coma. I should probably do something about this. But meanwhile, my husband's on it. He's in the waiting room.
He's already taking care of it, but I just don't know that because I'm just the primary caregiver.
Not make that assumption, though.
I don't know because I can't shut my brain off.
Oh, Amy, you're out of your mind. That's lovely. Hold on a second. Oh, wait. I don't wanna go I wanna go back to you being crazy.
But but first but first, I wanna understand. I don't wanna get past the gel nail polishing. What did they tell you?
So something in gel nail polish has been leaked to causing, eyelid inflammation.
Specifically? Yes.
Which is so weird, but I don't know how it happens. I don't know. But if you Google this, I have after it happened to me, was like, this is so weird. And those and the dermatologist in London picked up on it within seconds of me coming into her office. But I didn't go to a doctor before that, like a dermatologist, so in America, so, like, nobody knew.
But you're not saying it's not through contact with your with your fingers.
No. No. It's It's from the soaking it in from your nail beds in through your blood stream to your eyelids.
Okay. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna task something with researching that while you and I are still talking. But I I'm not gonna, actually, it's like I'm not gonna do anything. I just wanna be clear. So Yeah.
Yeah. But I'm gonna see if I can find an answer for that. Yeah. Now wait. Wait.
Now back to you being crazy. So you you weren't before this. You have
Maybe in I don't think so. Like, I don't ever remember being an anxious person. Yeah.
The Guilt6:35
Hey. Listen. I'm not married to you, but I'll assume you were a little crazy before. I think every I think everybody is a little crazy. But but you have interestingly enough, after an hour of talking, you have not mentioned the one thing that you put in your note, which is that you feel guilty.
Oh, yeah. Well, I think, like, you know, this obviously came from my side of her like, the genes. Right? Because my two people in my family have had it. So it's like if you were to go back and be like, listen.
Something bad's gonna you're gonna give your kids something bad. You still wanna have kids? You're like, who would be like, absolutely. You know what I mean? So I just feel like this is my fault.
And at the end of the day, whether she's, you know, 18 and moves to college or 21 and moves away or whatever it is, I get to kinda take a step back from it, and I don't have to worry or deal or you know? At one point, she's gonna be an adult. She's gonna have to worry about waking up from Lowe's and ordering the supplies and, you know, all that stuff, and, like, I'm not going to have to worry about it. And that's like, I just feel bad about that because she doesn't, at 10, get a break ever, you know, if that makes sense, where, you know, she had nine years of, like, healthy
'She Never Gets a Break'7:50
What does that mean she doesn't get a break ever? May contextualize that for me.
She doesn't just ever get to, like, you know, not have anything attached to her body, or if she doesn't, then have to do a finger prick. She doesn't have to think about what she's eating.
Is that bothering her?
Yeah. Yes. Well, like, this is why she doesn't wanna pump first. Like, she you know, a lot of her friends have the Omnipod. She's like, I don't want stuff on me.
So we went to the Moby because we decided on the Moby, which, again, we haven't started it yet, but because we can disconnect it in the shower and the pool so she can get, like, a quote, unquote break, and whatever's left on her is just tiny. She yeah. She doesn't you know, she just like, we'll be in the car, and she's like, oh, I just don't wanna have to do this anymore. And I'm like, I I don't the alternative is not something we're doing. So, you know, we're not gonna let diabetes win today or tomorrow or yesterday.
You're getting the shot. And she won't do shotspot on her own yet. I still do them or the school nurse. But, like, sorry. Like, you you know what I mean?
Like Mhmm. Or she'll be carved for x, and she'll want additional food. She'll be like, I can't eat. I'm so like, I'm so hungry. But, you know, I'll be like, well, let's just give you another shot.
It's fine. No big deal. Like, there's a fix for this. And she'll be like, no. I don't want another shot.
I'm just not gonna eat. And I'm like, Emily, like, this is not like, this is not a big deal. I know it hurts for ten seconds, but, like, let's just if you're hungry, you're hungry. And I get it. At twelve, how are you supposed to know how much you're gonna eat?
What like, you know what I mean? That's a lot to have to think about.
Oh, god. I'm I'm minimizing anything you're saying. I'm just I at all. No. No.
No. No. Yeah. There's no easy way to to do what you're saying.
Yeah. No. No. I just I'm thinking out loud. Like, this is
what was thinking about. I think that's good. Like, because I mean, but she's gonna develop listen. I think there's an argument to be made that, honestly, that everybody living with type one diabetes has some sort of a weird relationship with food. Right?
But, I mean, if she's physically not eating be when she's hungry to avoid an injection, I mean, that's I mean, you're you're looking at an eating disorder at some point.
Yeah. And that's what I try to, like, install on her. Like, Emily, it's just another shot. And this is why I've been like, Adam, just get on the this is gonna be solved because when you're on the pump, you don't even have to get another shot. It's just a few boop boop boop into a little foam, like, you're good to go.
And the move to Texas, I think, has kinda pushed her in that direction because, you know, she's gone to a few birthday parties or friends' houses now where, you know, she again, she won't let she let one mom do one shot one time. And other than that, it's they've had to call and be like, okay. We're eating now. So then I have to go back to that house, give her a shot for the food, leave because no one wants their mom hanging out at 11, 12 years old. Sure.
And then the mom at that house will call me, they'll be like, we're having cake. So then I have to go back and give her a shot for cake. And then, you know, two and a half hours later, it's pickup time. So I'm like you know, most parents can just drop their kid off and, like, whatever and pick them up four hours later. I'm, like, hovering in circles within a, you know, a few minute radius to, like, be on shot call.
You know?
At the 07:11 Yes. Reading reading your phone.
Yes. Yep. And and and I just feel and so I think, like, I've been, like, pushing the pump, but now she's like, okay. I'm moving to Texas. I wanna meet new friends.
I don't want mom hanging out. I don't know who the nurse is. Like, I gotta just have a little bit of that taken off me. And so, you know, as soon as this person from Tandem gets their act together and sends us the rest of our supplies, then we can get the training done and all the things. And we'll, you know, hopefully be in a better spot and hopefully sleep more nights and hopefully Yeah.
Volleyball Lows and Strawberry Lemonade11:28
You know, have less anxiety and hopefully do all this stuff a little bit better and, you know, and and have less highs as well. And, you know, I I don't know. So she plays volleyball and, like, you know, she'll she likes these drinks from Starbucks. It's these strawberry acai lemonades. And we've noticed that she tends to go low during a sporting event.
And so all the proteins, carb snacks, peanut butter, like, we'll try them. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. But if we figured out if she has, like, a half of a grande size of that drink, it'll keep her up enough during the event, and she'll be fine Mhmm. Nine times out of 10.
But then there's that one time where even that doesn't keep her up. And you're just like, what you know, like, it's it's I feel like you do the same thing. She puts in the same exerts the same amount of energy. She's eating the same thing prior to that lemonade. She's you know, it's the same time of day.
It's the same but, like, two totally different results. And that's just one example of Well the things I've seen. You know?
Yeah. I hear you. And I I obviously, that's the thing people say all the time. Like, I did the same thing today as I did yesterday, but I think it's possible that if you had a third party there looking, they might see something that you're not seeing. Yeah.
You know? Because it it could very well be I mean, it could be hormonal. Right? She's old enough for that.
Yeah. For sure.
She's get I I I hate to ask you, but she gets a period?
No. Not yet. But
she's Okay. Well, that could be on its way. Yeah. And it could be activity. It could be I mean, you could be I mean, time of day a little bit, like, based on because you're shooting basal insulin.
Right?
I can.
Yeah. So, like, you could say, oh my god. It's it's volleyball, for example. But volleyball at 8AM on a day where you shoot basil at 7AM might be different than volleyball at 5PM when you shot the basil at 8AM.
Yeah. And then
that would be, like, a small difference that you would you wouldn't see when you were saying, like, I just I keep doing the same thing over and over. I I I I I wouldn't guarantee you, but I would strongly be willing to bet a couple of dollars that that there's something different that you're not seeing. And and and these things are impactful. And it could be around exercise, it could be around hormones, it could be around sleep, it could be around hydration, like but something's different that you're not seeing.
Well the yeah. And the other thing is she's a little bit deceitful too.
You've probably heard me talk about US Med and how simple it is to reorder with US Med using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you. But I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email because I don't trust myself a 100%. So one time, I didn't respond to the email.
And the phone rings at the house. It's like, ring. You know how it works. And I picked it up. I was like, hello?
And it was just the recording. It was like, US Med. Doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying. It said, hey. You're I don't remember exactly what it says.
But it's basically like, hey. Your order's ready. You want us to send it? Push this button if you want us to send it. Or if you'd like to wait, I think it it lets you put it off, like, a couple of weeks or push this button for that.
That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Get your free benefits checked now and get started with USmed.
Dexcom, Omnipod, Tandem, Freestyle, they've got all your favorites. Even that new islet pump. Check them out now at usmed.com/juicebox or by calling (888) 721-1514. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to US Med and to all of the sponsors. Let's talk about the Tandem Mobi insulin pump from today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care.
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Hidden Apple Pouches16:26
Like, like, I I when she was first diagnosed, I get it. She was used to being high all the time before we knew. So, like, a 90 felt kinda like, whoo. This is ugh. I don't feel great.
And then, you know, we've slowly kind of been, like,
a seem
to coming down and down and down. But she still gets nervous depending on where she's at and what she's doing of the numbers. And so I have gotten really good at being, like, take you know, we don't need 15 grams of carbs. That's an over overdone. Let's have eight.
Let's wait ten, fifteen minutes. Let's see what that's gonna do. Mhmm. We'll double check with a finger prick, and then we'll have something else if we need to. This is no big deal.
But before I can even get to that point, she's ate in, like, an apple pouch and stuffed the empty thing behind something in the pantry, which I find, like, for months later.
And so there's an impact now, you're just you're not you're unaware of what it is.
Yeah. And then she's four hundred, and I'm like, how did eight grip you know what I mean? And it's like, oh, no. She had that apple patch that she snug that she didn't tell me.
Or I'll find my She had your eight grams plus the twenty three in the thing. Right. Right.
Yes. Yeah. And I'm like, Emily, like, we have to work together on this because if we don't, like, this isn't good. This we need you know? But she's she's not doing it to be a brat.
She's doing it because she's afraid of Sure.
No. Yeah.
Yeah. I imagine. So afraid.
Yeah. But why wouldn't she tell you, though?
Because I think she she wants it to come up really fast. Like, she's comfortable at, like, a 200. Like, she's like, I'm good. Like, this is fine. I'm not low.
I'm not gonna die. I can coast. But I think, like, I think for me, I'm like, let's try to get you at, a 1 or a 100, a 110, 100 or a 110.
Yeah.
You know? And I think for her, she's
Three Therapists Later18:10
like Is she seeing a therapist?
Well, so so funny enough, when we moved home, we saw one. She hated her. And to be honest, the lady was kinda condescending, and I didn't like her either. And then we saw two others, including needle exposure therapy guy, who I thought was great, by the way. And he was super chill, and he had all the right techniques with toys and different stuff, whatever.
And then we saw a therapist that the hospital Rainbow Babies here in Cleveland gave us. So she was, like, in the endocrine world directly. I was like, she'll know all the things. And she just has she comes across as rude. And my husband and I have gotten on her because we're like, listen.
If you go in there and you don't wanna talk, like and you just want me to do primary talking until you get to a point where they know a little bit about you and you're comfortable with them, and then I can step out of the room and you can but, like, she she likes the eyes she gives these people, I wanna be like, she's really not that rude. She's just mean to you because and, like, the doctor, like, the doctor will ask her questions, and she, like, doesn't look at her. I'm like, Emily, this lady saved your life. Like, you you know, that's her job and fine, but, like, at the same time, she didn't give this to you. She's helping us survive this.
You gotta be kind to this lady. But it's like anybody She's having a lot of anything.
She's having a lot of trouble with this.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
So it's just it's honestly, it's like a day to day thing, and that's the other thing too. Like, you know, she'll if my husband's up on, like, a Friday night watching, like, the basketball game or whatever, and I'm like, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. And she wakes up from something, he'll be like, I got this. Like, we're fine.
And she'll run past and wake me up. And he's like, I have told you to let your mother sleep. Like, she does not get enough sleep. This is her night to sleep. Let it go.
I've got this. And she just until I'm awake and I'm aware of what is happening
Mhmm.
She is not and I have a sugar pickle pixel next to my bed. So if she's, you know, 85, that thing's waking me up regardless. So I'm not worried about missing something, but she is worried so so much that I will miss something.
Can I can I pimp for a second? Did you see the sugar the sugar pixel update, the new one with the big screen? Oh, wait. You should go to customtype1.com/juicebox and take a look. Okay.
But I am I've he added, like, all these characters and everything to it for younger kids, and and I'm one of the characters. I just wanna say that.
Carl, look away. That's amazing. Yeah.
Yeah. He he really set up this really lovely it's really something. Anyway, people should check out the new SugarPixel. Pretty cool. Yes.
I think I make a couple if you use my link, I make a couple of bucks when you buy one. And that's not why I told you about it. I told you about it because, like, I'm I told you about it because I'm, like, a little there's a pirate character that has a chameleon living on it, and that's me.
Okay. Yeah. I love it. Yeah.
It's pretty
I love it.
That's so funny. Jumping in. I I I don't know if I I should say the owner's name, but he's really a a really lovely person. But okay. Back to your daughter.
Would she talk to somebody else who's not you about it and not a doctor? Would she, listen, would she come on the podcast and talk about having diabetes, or is that a thing that you think would mortify her?
Grandma, Babysitters, and Trust21:21
You know, it's a good question. I don't know. So last summer well, so I right after she was diagnosed, my mom came. Right? So my mom, diabetic herself, type one, ICU nurse for her entire career that she worked.
So I was like, perfect. Like, I've got a babysitter. I've got backup. She lives in Maine, so she's not always available, but whatever. She came out to help, and it was awful.
I love my mom. So, mom, if you ever listen to this, I love you. But she bruised Emily so bad. And I'm like, how have you been an ICU nurse this long? Like, I don't know if you're just like, I don't know.
But she's been on a Omnipod, so she hasn't had to worry about, like, actual injections all the time, you know, frequently for herself. But, know, like, she would be preparing food, and there was a thing where I was like, mom, I gave Emily a shot like, a fourth a cup of strawberries. Like, this was in the very, very beginning, like, a month after we were diagnosed. And I I leave the room, I come back in, and Emily has probably, like, a cup's worth of strawberries on her plate. And I'm mom, did you hear a fourth of a cup?
Because I'm not or she would throw things in the rubbish, like, can or the packaging on, like, a tortilla wrap, and I'd be like, I need to know what the carbs are. Oh, I threw that in the rubbish. Well, how do you know what you're dosing for? You're a diabetic also. She's like, ah, you know?
And you're just like, oh, but find your things dinging all the time.
How's your mom's health? How's your mom's health?
It's dinging all the time. It's dinging all the time. She has you know, honestly, for what she bless her heart. She took care of us. She put herself on the back burner for for her entire life, like, when she was 42 or 40, I think, when my dad died.
And she just worked, you know, twelve hour shifts. She walked to work sometimes so we could have a car to drive when my older sister had got her license. Like, she sacrificed everything for her children. So I think she put her health on the back burner. For what she's done and how she is today, she's 75, and she's really not terrible.
Like, she has no high blood pressure. She doesn't have high cholesterol. Like, all the typical things you see people getting around their seventies, like, she doesn't have them. She has the Hashimoto's. She has the type one, and she does have eye issues where she has to get an injection in her retina every four weeks, I think.
And she claims it's not from diabetes. I think she claims diabetes exacerbated her condition, but it's something different. I don't know if she's telling me the truth because she's just trying not to scare me for Emily. And I do know somebody else who has the same thing, and they don't have diabetes. So I'm just like, I don't know who to believe.
But I overall, for what you would think she would be, she's actually not
terrible.
She's yes. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, gosh. I so I don't so so you were kinda hopeful that your daughter would talk to your mom, but that didn't go as well.
No. And no. No. And she won't even sleep over at her house. And that was, like, an annual summer thing.
We'd go to Maine, and Emily would get, like, a private sleepover with grandma, they'd go out to dinner, and they'd get a toy, and they'd go and now she's like, I'm not going there.
No. Because because of the bruise from the needle?
Because of, yeah, she's just scared that grandma won't wake up from a furlough or, you know, she'd get bruised or she won't know what she's doing or how to count. The only person she's let babysit her for we'll have a local babysitter, but I'll only go away for three hours. So I'll give Emily a shot. She'll have dinner as I'm walking out the door, and I'll come back by nine to give her her next shot for bedtime. The only person that she's allowed to babysit her longer than three hours is my sister who is an RN forever.
You know, the over the top, like, ove you know, checks everything. She is my best friend. She is everything to me. We are pretty much twins separated by nine years. And that's the only person who Emily has let babysit her for an extended period of time when Adam and I went to my husband and I went to a concert last summer, like, forty five minutes away.
And it
was actually the it was Jack White. But it was the first time in this diagnosis that I was away, and I didn't look at my phone. I'd looked at it, like, once or twice, but it was
like Well, what changed? How come you didn't look? Were you high?
Because my no. Because my sister was watching her, and I have all the faith in my and, yeah, all the faith in my like, I love her. She is my best friend. Like, we are yeah. I couldn't do life without her.
You a question, Is there some reason why your sister's a better choice, or is it just a person you're comfortable with?
I think it's a person that oh, I think because she's an RN, she knows what she's doing, she's not relaxed. Like, she wouldn't be relaxed about Emily's care my daughter's care because she knows like, you know, like, she would she's just if anything happened on her watch, like, she would not forgive herself. So she's very on top of it. She is a great RN, and my and my daughter knows how much I love my sister. And, like, we do girls trips and stuff like that, like her me and my sister.
So, like, I think Emily realizes how much I trust my sister even before the diabetes, just in life. And so that was like, oh, I no, auntie.
Two Mirrors — Where the Anxiety Bounces26:40
So, Amy, are you telling me that your attitude and what you say is transferable to your daughter about her care?
I don't so I've never said anything about Kristen being a good caregiver for diabetes.
That's the vibe that she gets from you?
I just think because she sees how close I am with Kristen, yes, that my sister that yeah.
My question would be, isn't it possible that some of the anxiety is a vibe she's getting from you too that you're not aware of?
I don't maybe. But, like, me and my husband are getting along great. Like, we we don't fight. Like, we're not, you know
No. I don't mean that. I mean, you I mean, listen. I I think the the the the value of this recording for other people will be one thing. Yeah.
But for you, it's gonna be a completely different thing. Because when you listen back to this, if you don't listen to this and think I sound a little unhinged, I'm gonna be surprised. Okay? And and if and if you don't thank you. And if you don't listen back to this five years from now and go, holy hell.
Is that how I was? I'm gonna be surprised.
Like It's gonna be a good time capsule.
That No. I really think so. Like, I think it could be really valuable for you. And and I don't I just don't don't disregard the idea that you might be giving off weird energy that you're not aware of and that she's not reflecting it, and that you guys might not be standing like two mirrors just reflecting it back at each other.
Yeah. I do agree. I'm exhausted. So I I think you have
this in it. In your speech pattern.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, I think, like, that comes like, I get I get, like, I have no patience.
And, like, a lot of people are like, oh, I hate everybody in my forties, perimenopausal, but and I'm just exhausted. So I'm, like, I'm annoyed at everything and every you know, I mean?
Have time to hate anybody.
I'm too tired. Yes. I do. But I think, like and and she has a little bit of the teenage tood coming on too, so it's like a double whammy. You know?
And I think, like, there will be some times where I'm just like, oh, this is like just you know, I just told you to wait fifteen minutes or eat your protein first or whatever.
That that's gonna start happening.
Yeah. Like, I don't know. Like yeah. So I just I
have to tell you. I don't know if it's right or wrong or if I should use it. I wanna I wanna talk to your daughter so badly. I could taste it. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, don't don't force her, obviously.
But No. Will.
Say, if you like tell her she can complain about it or whatever she wants, she can I also, I love the way you curse? Will she curse like this too?
No. So I always say I'm from Massachusetts. Like, that's part of who we are. I don't know if that's a thing or not, but
I Such an interesting mix of the time you moved out. You referred to the trash as rubbish, so that comes from That's New England thing, though. Wait.
That's a New England. My grandma UK? It is, but I think it came over to New England a bit too because my grandmother and my mother, we grew up calling it rubbish. And a lot of people call me out on that. I'm like, no.
No. That is a New England thing.
Think it's a wrong word. I just think it's and and there's and there's times where you have, like, some southern stuff from the South Carolina going on, but your your language is definitely from Boston. Like, it's all really you're a really interesting mix.
So I'm mutt. You've said
fuck more times in this episode than I've said in the last month of making the podcast. Like like, so much so that at the end of this, I'm gonna have to leave a note for the editor and go, hey. Like, listen. She even said it under her breath one time. By the way, like, thirteen minutes into it, you said it under your breath.
And and so anyway but I don't care. I just think I I think it's for the anyway, I'm gonna tell you that you're early on in this. Yeah. I understand all of your concerns. If you can find a way to believe me, they're not really things you have to worry about mostly.
Okay.
I'm not telling you not to pay attention and just throw it off to God. I'm not saying that either. There are definitely things you have to pay attention to. And but I just think you're you're just too deep in it right now. Like, you sound you sound so far up your own ass, I don't know another way to put it.
Like, you Yeah.
No. You're not wrong.
Oh, I know. I'm I've been doing this a long time. I'm good at this.
I wanna Yeah. I wanna I wanna go to a comedy show with my sister in December in Rhode Island, Providence, and Emily heard me talking to her. She's like, you can't go. Like, Emily, it's eleven months from now. She's like, no.
You can't go. I'm like, well, I'm gonna go, and that's gonna be a different we'll have a conversation about that at a different time, but, like, you will live.
But you the conversations aren't gonna fix it. Like, you have to meaningfully do something without talking that alleviates her anxiety about it. Yeah. Yeah. The you can explain shit to people all you want from here to eternity.
If that worked, then Jerry Springer would have only had to run one episode where a 13 year old was pregnant and the rest of the world would have went. That's not a good idea, and then it wouldn't happen again. Okay? But that's not people don't people don't learn by being told. People learn by having experiences that make their nervous system comfortable.
Yeah. Yeah. That's true.
So yeah. And you might not be the best arbiter of it. And even like like and and that's gonna be tough because you've also tried three therapists. You've only liked one of them.
No. No. I like two. I didn't like one. That so yeah.
The other way, but it's fair. And now
and now you're gonna move to Texas. Yeah. Right? So the so things are gonna change. She's gonna get a new school.
You run the real possibility of her hiding her diabetes, like, deciding, like, oh, change of, like, venue. I'll just pretend this isn't happening to me. And then you guys are just gonna get into fights about it. And and it's gonna get worse, and she's gonna eat more food and hide it, you're gonna you're gonna be I I don't listen. I I like you.
I I I don't think but you're you're you're aggressively unapologetic when you're talking about stuff.
Well, it's so funny because I just listened to your podcast with that lady who moved to Finland for six months, and she was like, but we don't because kids need stability. And then I was like, oh, we've moved our kids so many times. Like, that lady would hate me.
I'm sure she wouldn't hate you. And and and I think there's ways to to find stability in in this too. Like but, again, like, you are I I know nothing. I wanna be clear. I barely graduated from high school.
I did not go to college. I hold no degrees. For the lady on Reddit that likes to say all the time that I think I'm a therapist, I don't. But but but what I'm gonna tell that. What I'm gonna tell you I just assume it's a lady, by the way.
Lead by Example — Don't Say the Thing, Do the Thing32:53
And, and it might not be. It could just be a very sensitive guy. I have no idea. But but but what I'm gonna tell you is that is that you gotta lead by example. Yeah.
That's how kids learn. That's where they get their confidence from. When you panic, they panic. When you think you're not showing your panic, you're out of your mind. My we we just my kids are 26 and almost 22.
We and you haven't had this yet because your kids aren't old enough, but we older parents wouldn't know about this. We had a lovely couple of hours conversations where our kids broke down everything we do wrong recently. Mhmm. It's a nice thing you gotta let them do as they grow up when they think they're understanding the world, and they and they think they're smarter than you now, and they they sometimes they wanna let you know. And I went through the same thing as a as a you know, when I was young too.
And we very, like, happily stand and have conversations and let them explain how we've everything we've done wrong. And and, you know, and we try to absorb it because they might have points, and there might be situations where they where they they're misunderstanding because they don't have enough life experience. But my point is is that the only thing that really comes from that conversation is they feel heard, and they believe we're listening. And that teaches them lessons outside of the conversation. Our parents will listen to us when we're talking.
They'll let us be critical. They'll push back when they don't agree. Those are the lessons from that conversation, like, the life lessons. The the the words from the conversation are not what's gonna be remembered. And and, like, I try to make that, example more simply when I said, like, I think that one of the greatest things about being a stay at home parent was that when my parents when my kids opened the door after school, they knew I'd be there.
Yeah. That builds that builds stability. It builds trust. It builds calm. And and my point is is that all the things that you think you're hiding, you're not hiding from your kids.
Like, so your anxiety I I really do think that the best analogy for your conversation right now is that you and your daughter are standing very close to each other like two mirrors just bouncing your anxiety back and forth with each other. That's how it seems to me. And I don't know how to fix that other than to say, you've gotta calm the fuck down. And then
the steps.
And then and not just pretend to be calm, but actually be calm so that she can absorb that, and that's what you can start balancing between each other. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say the thing. Do the thing.
Right. Right. Yeah. No. I do and I do think there's been a slight increase in my, you know, less having less anxiety since diagnosis.
But and I'm hoping you know, and I'll go back and forth, and I'll be like, in three years or five years, maybe I'm a diabetes educator. Maybe that's what I'm gonna take away from this. Maybe I'll be a
You stop. Like, really, your husband's gonna leave you for sure. I just wanna say that. And no. No.
Seriously.
Is that why he travels to place for work?
I have to go to Brazil.
Yeah. He
may you should have googled that. I don't think his company's probably even in Brazil.
He's watching.
Yeah. Up the street to the best western. Yes. Like, just sitting there.
Oh, man.
So so, like
wouldn't blame him.
No. But but seriously, like, he's not gonna say this to you because he would like to continue to see your boobs. But, like, I'm telling I don't care about that, so I'm able to tell you, you really gotta calm down. Yeah. Like, I don't know how to do that.
Like, I know that's not functionally helpful, but you have to figure out what that means. Yeah. Yeah. That's my best advice. And I am a podcaster, so you should probably listen to me.
I I also wanna tell you that I was not able to, nor was ChatGPT or Google Gemini, verify what you said about the the gel nails. That that is not a yeah. There's no there's no nothing I can find that says that. Here's what it It's
so funny.
Extremely common due to hand to face transfer. That can happen.
K.
Confirmed by patch testing, that it could be an allergic reaction, but the idea that it's drawn through the blood through the nail bed, I could not find any backing for it all.
Really? Oh, that's funny. So I'll have to look that up again. And if I find it, I'll send it to you.
Yeah. I love that. Or just keep in mind that, like, it could be a colloquial thing that the doctor said to you. Like It could be.
It could be. And and All I remember is her saying, this is never gonna go back. You were doomed for life. And I was like, okay. I just gotta get an upper blepharoplasty.
I'll be fixed.
And, also, I'm not judging you because I I came very close to having the sunspots lasered off my cheekbones. Talking about bougie. And, like, I I and the the the the cost scared me, but it wasn't but I could've I could've found a world where I would've gotten over the cost, except they were like, it's gonna come back in a year. And I'm like, well, then what's the point?
That's not worth it.
Yeah. No. Yeah. What's the point? Because it's a thing I'm anxious anxious.
I I see it when I when I see myself. I see it. Yeah. And I do some I do a few things on video. Like, they usually put makeup on me, so it's not an issue.
But, like, I I I worry about it. And so I did go to ask about it, and I probably would have shook the money free for it if it would have been a a forever fix, but the the lady was like, it's gonna be back in a year. And I'm like, well, then I don't yeah. I was born in the seventies. I don't that sounds like bullshit to me.
Yeah. I was like, you're either fixing it or you're not. Like but we Right. Yeah. We're not patching.
I'm not throwing spackle on this thing and, like, you know, waiting for it to crack and fall apart again.
That's so funny.
'You Need a Hobby'38:37
Alright. So have I been at all helpful to you? Have you had a good time? Is there anything you wanna say?
Yes. No. Great time. You know, I just hope that maybe as I get become more of a seasoned veteran at this whole thing, I'll be a little bit able to roll with the punches a little bit more and, know
fully alright. You listen. And that that's the hidden secret of all this is that eventually everybody gets there.
Yeah.
You just gotta get out of your own way so you can get there faster.
Yeah. A 100%. I think then there's the whole other thing and talking about being worried is, like, my eight year old. Like, is he gonna get it? You know?
And I don't wanna do the testing because I don't wanna know what I don't wanna know. You know what I mean? But it's like and I've had two different opinions from endocrinologists, from my endocrinologist who she has spoken to different endocrinologists, and they've been like, one has gotten their other kid tested because they wanted to know, and one was like, well, if it happens, it happens, and I don't care to have that in the back of my head. So I'm like
I've heard both arguments.
Fifty fifty thing.
I understand. I've heard both arguments. I I agree with both arguments. Like, they're you know, it's that's a personal thing. But, like, you need a hobby worse than anyone I've ever met in my life.
Like, is there a thing in your life you don't do anymore that you miss?
Oh my god. You're so funny. I just I love, well, I don't know. I mean, I always say, like, I think it's a weird time of life too because a lot of my friends here in Ohio are just people I've met since we've moved here. So, like, my my close close friends do not live here.
They live in England, live Massachusetts, whatever. But, like, the people I know, I'll be like, let's go play pickleball just for fun. And, you know, it'll be like, yeah. Let's do it Wednesday. And then someone gets sick.
A kid has whatever. You know, there's always just something with life that comes up. I used to, like, horseback ride growing up, and I loved it. And I'll go back into it here and there. But, yeah, I don't know.
Like, I always just feel like
I feel like you need a thing to do worse than anybody I've met recently. Seriously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I I think pick something that's not gonna get like, that that you can do by yourself or that maybe you and your daughter could do together that that you could that wouldn't you know, maybe it's a thing, like, that you I you know, like, go to a movie. Like I
wanna take up golfing. I think golfing would be fun.
Go learn there. Go you are the whitest lady I've talked to in a while. I just wanna say. It's absolutely fantastic.
I feel awful about that, though.
You're translucent. I imagine I could see through your skin you're so white.
Which I do? And it's it's a combo between red and white depending on the sun shining.
I like horseback riding. I might wanna golf. You
make me sound terrible. I'm
so sorry to
make people
listening to this subject. Don't sound terrible. You sound like you. There's nothing wrong with you. You're awesome.
But it's just I'm just making fun and and joking. Also, I I'm very I say a lot of very Caucasian things. Don't worry. It's, you know? No.
Like like like, listen. We didn't get to it, but I called the township today to complain about my recycling pickup. Yeah. You know? As I was doing it, I was like, this is terrible.
Oh, man. Not a thing I don't think my dad would spend any time on. You know what I mean? No. But but but, seriously, like, something something that's that that takes you out of it for a minute.
Oh, man.
You know what
I mean? Too funny.
Yes.
Now I'm now I'm gonna go around thinking all day. I'm too white, Scott. Thank you.
No. There's no there's no
such No. There's no such thing.
Like, you just funny. No. No. I but, seriously, like, one of those things, like, go do one of those things.
Yeah. Yeah. But because Yeah.
You need to not think about this for a little while. And I don't mean, like, planned, like, planned not thinking about it. Like, I mean, your life has to be such that there are times where you just don't think about it, or you're thinking about something else and it's and it's occupying some of your time.
Yeah. Yeah. I do think though, like, if I if this was me, I probably would be like, whatever. Like, this is but because it's my kid who I'm supposed to be able to protect, like, there's a part of me that's like, shit. You know?
Like,
I'm gonna guess if it was you, you would turn this type a personality on that.
Probably.
Yeah. Which, by the way, I'm I'm beginning to think that type a just means anxious. So, like, and and not for you, I mean, in general. Like, the more people I talk like, time wise, we like, used to call people, like, type a, and now I realize those were anxious people. And and so but, yeah, you you would probably do that thing where you, like, you you controlled it, and that would give you some sort of feeling of calm.
And and it feels to me like you don't have control over this, and it's so out of control. Like, there's just so much about it that you can't know. I think that's what your language means when you say I do the same thing over and over again. Think I what you're actually telling me is, like, I feel like I don't know how to wrangle this, and and that's making me feel uneasy.
Yeah.
Yeah. And so, like, find something you can control. Not and don't make it your husband. He really will leave. Like, pick like, and don't put and don't put it on that little boy, by the way.
Like, you have to go find something he's so sweet. You have to go find something else that you're good at, that goes the way you expect it to, that takes up a little bit of your time.
Well, I mean, you know, it's funny because you wouldn't think somebody who's this anxious and this type a to move as much as to be so free to be like, yeah. Let's just let's move country, like, whatever, or state, or the other you know, like, and all that stuff. It's like but then this is so different. Like, it's so bizarre to me that I could be two separate personalities in one person.
Well, it might be something about it that, like you know, like, almost like two tuning forks. If you hold them together, they stop. So, like, you know, like, maybe maybe there's something about the excitement and the unknown part of, and there's something to do. Right? So here Yeah.
You so you've moved a lot. So there's a lot to do when you move, but you know you can get through it and get it all done. So the it probably moving probably just seems like a lot of tasks that you know you're going to win at.
Sure. That's true. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Because it's a it's a it might be your hobby. It's a thing that you know how to do. You know how to do it well. You're going to get it accomplished.
At the end, you get a prize. You get a new house. So you get oh, you're like you know what mean? Like, that whole thing. It's probably just the thing you're comfortable doing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And and so you yeah. So it probably bring listen. I and, again, I I hear you. I'm not a therapist. Write it.
I I I I I'm just this is how it sounds when I'm talking. I could be a 100% wrong, by the way.
Like Who cares? It doesn't matter. It's shitty. Better.
Yeah. Yes. A Star Wars song about that. If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. So I was gonna call this episode yard house, but but now I don't know.
Now I might call it something else. Feel like in the in the last twenty minutes here, I feel like we actually hooked into, like, what what the the thing like, it took me a while. Like, I think you're delightful, so, like, I got lost in the conversation a little bit. But but, like, you seriously, like, I I think it's there's something about the I just think you guys are just reflecting it. I I think you're just in that mirror situation I was talking about.
If you can figure your way through that, I think you get it. But if not, I'm sure you'll be fine. You just you just live anxiously your whole life. And I haven't asked about medicating yet because I don't I mean, I'm I assume there's ways that you could probably work your way through it, but, I mean, maybe? No
idea. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I've not even taken, like, a Tylenol my entire life. Like, I hate medicine.
And and it's funny because I was listening to your episode about your daughter taking the levothyroxine or whatever every day, and, like, there I am pretty good about it, but there'll be days, like, I'll be like, oh, shoot. Like, maybe once every three months, I'll be like, did I take that? You know, but it's normally a thing.
Thyroid Time — Check the TSH46:39
That's hey. Did your daughter
I'm not yeah.
Did your daughter get checked for Hashimoto's?
So she did. She's fine on her TSH and her celiac panel that is typically high, I guess, when your first diagnosis is coming down nicely. So she seems to be everything seems to be checking out as far as, you know, all the other potential
What what's your TSH?
What's hers or what's mine? Hers. I am not sure. I could pull it up on the
Do you know yours while you're looking?
I can my chart. EMH. Hold on. See what if I can log in really quickly here. It's so funny because I was actually gonna have this number ready to go because I thought we would talk about it, and then I didn't do it.
My last TSH was TSH was 4Point33, which is actually higher than it normally is. Wait.
Yours was? Yeah. Oh, sweetie. That's way too high.
You think so?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We want that under 2.1 at least.
The other one, the one before that was three point nine four.
No. No. You're not taking enough.
So I need I'll just double up on my pills.
You call your doctor. They'll do the math and tell you what to do. And if they don't know how to do the math, you have the wrong doctor for your thyroid. Okay. What was your daughter's?
I'm gonna go back to her now. Hold on one sec. Oh, that's funny. I honestly, like, didn't even like, you know, my stuff now, just like, yeah. It's fine.
It's not, though, but some of your anxiety could be from that.
Yeah. That's true. That's true. Okay. Hers was in what date was this?
January of this year. Mhmm. It was two point eight.
No. No. No. No. Okay.
Alright. Now we're getting to it. Oh, Rob, two parter. Okay. Alright.
The Symptom Checklist48:48
Ready? First, Fatigue? Okay. Yes or no?
Yes. Oh, but I mean, but I don't sleep. So that's
something. Don't do that.
Okay.
Are you fatigued? Yeah. Okay. Have you gained weight unexplained?
I'm huge. I used to be one twenty, and I'm now one thirty eight. And every day, I'm like, those cage
genes are convenient. That people who are body positive are not gonna let you say you're huge at one thirty eight.
Okay? For me. For me. So that's fair. But, like, when you know when you put on your favorite jeans and they don't they don't cut in anymore.
You've gained weight.
You've gained weight. I have gained weight.
Yeah. Sensitivity to cold.
Oh, oh god.
Yes or no, please?
Just check all the yes boxes.
Are straight up what? Constipation or decreased bowel frequency?
I would say I would say, like, I wouldn't say constipation, but may potential digestive issues.
At least once a day?
Yes.
Yes. Skin and hair changes, dry skin, brittle nails, hair loss, or thinning? Yeah. Poggin of issues like brain fog? We're gonna say yes.
Muscle and joint pain, aches, stiffness, or weakness? Oh, well None. Oh, god bless you. We're nine deep in the list, you found one you don't have. Mood changes, feelings of sadness, or depression?
Yep. Depression. Not depression. That
yep. Was but that yep was awesome. In
my defense, it's not depression, but it is mood changes. Like, I'll be like, I'm just so tired of everybody. You know? And I freak out, and everyone's like, mommy needs to go to bed. And I'm like, yes.
I do.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on a second. Yep.
Now your daughter.
Mhmm.
Fatigue? No. Weight gain? Nope. Sensitivity to cold?
No. Okay. Does she have digestive issues? No. Skin or hair changes?
No. No. I don't think so. Not that I've seen or she's complained about. Definitely not hair change, and her skin seems great.
Brain fog?
No. She's a straight a plus student.
Okay. Mood, joint pain, achiness, stiffness, weakness?
I wouldn't say stiffness or weakness. She does seem to be, like, injury prone, but I kinda, like, tease her because I'm like, Emily, like, this is not well, how are you getting hurt, like, stubbing your toe? You know, that kind of thing, but not but it I don't know if it's just for, like, picking up on things to complain about. But I wouldn't say no. I would say no.
Mood mood changes?
How do you differentiate between
a normal mid teens from a girl? I've only had a daughter for twenty one years, and I've only been married to a woman for thirty years. I haven't I don't have any of this figured out yet, just so you know. And anyone who's Undeterred. Anyone who's insulted by that, stop it.
So okay. So symptoms of hypothyroidism so the anxiety adrenaline cycle, if the thyroid is in a phase of releasing excess hormone, your body is essentially in a state of chemical overstimulation. This mimics the physical sensation of anxiety, racing heart, shakiness. Your brain then attempts to find a reason for these physical sensations, which can manifest as psychological anxiety or hypervigilance, blah blah blah. Point is is that there's stuff about thyroid issues that can kind of make anxiety worse.
Yeah. Okay? Yeah. And so Yeah. I would tell you this, that your mom and you have Hashimoto's and her TSH is in the threes already.
It's it's here if it's not coming.
Yeah. Okay. For sure.
And and so it it's great that she didn't have any symptoms, but don't let those things pop up and you go and make excuses for them. Like Sure. Because she's I would absolutely bet my my little pinky on my right hand that she's gonna have Hashimoto's at some point if she doesn't have it now. Right?
Are you left handed?
No. That's why I said my right hand because I was trying I was trying to project actual confidence in my statement. Okay. So, I mean, I might get her scanned now, like, let them do the scan because an undersized thyroid is is probably Hashimoto's or if she's got little the the nodules. Right?
Yeah. And so but you you should know better that your your TSH is way too high. It might just because of the weight gain that it is. I don't know. It might just be that you need more medication and you haven't adjusted it lately.
But what do you want? Point seven five?
No. No. I think, I could be wrong, but it might maybe it is point seven five. It's either point seven five. I've never been higher than 1.25, and that was, like, peak pregnancy.
So maybe it is back down to one point
I I would get your I would get your TSH under 2.1. I'd get it as low as you can get it without being hyper. But, like, I would I would def in the fours. My goodness. Most of these issues are gonna probably go away for you when you get it down.
Honestly, like, it's so weird because I get this, like,
The Recycling Rant54:13
I can't be in charge of all of you. Okay? Like like, I need some of you to do something once in while. I had to explain dumping a trash can to a person who works in the recycling office today. And I I can't I need I wanna go listen.
I wanna go out in the world, and I wanna see someone with some level of confidence do their fucking job. Okay? Like like, seriously, I can't I I I I I can't. Okay? I I I I just I need you cannot have nine things wrong with you.
Know you have Hashimoto's and not do anything about it. All of you. I'm talking to all of you, not just Amy. Well,
the thing is in the green, Scott. So I thought it was okay.
The green you're a you know who's bad at being
I know.
You nurses are a problem. I'm just gonna tell you right now. I've I've talked to enough of you. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Siri seriously, I'll say it again, but people have to be sick of it by now. Your lab results in range doesn't mean anything.
I know. I know.
But you know
I don't. I know. But I kinda do, like, the bare minimum. I go to the doctor once a year. They do the thing and whatever.
I walk away. None of this stuff was happening to you anymore.
Oh. Why is that love it.
Since we're into a two hour episode, Amy, explain to me before we go, explain to me why that's a laughable idea. Like, this
I just I'm just so, like I feel like I'm two different people, Scott. Like, I have this massive anxiety about stuff, but at the same time, I I just love to, you know, have a good time and relax.
But what a weird no. Hold on. I'm I'm cutting you off now. What a weird statement. Right?
Like, I have massive anxiety about things, And I say to you, hey. You have fatigue, weight gain, sensitivity to cold digestive issues, skin and hair changes, cognitive issues, muscles and joint pains, and mood changes, and I didn't ask you about your heavy periods. Do you have heavy periods?
Sometimes. Not all the time.
Decreased labino? I bet your husband would like that one fixed. Now listen. What I'm trying to tell you is is that, like, literally, you would take the same size pill. It would just have a different dose inside of it.
But that's different number. And and why aren't you anxious about that?
I don't know. It's a good question.
Oh, it's a goddamn good question. Like like, no. No. We're not fixing the world's problems today, but, like, that's the thing I want you all to ask each other. Like, why are you putting so much effort into stuff that and and on the it's I don't even know how to put this exactly.
It's like it's like you're trying to walk into an open fire hose. Yeah. And and you're struggling to get through this jet of water that's that's never gonna get through. And and then I pull back and find out you're the one shooting the hose at yourself. Like, just shut the hose off, and then you don't have to fight anymore.
I can't possibly make more sense than this. Oh. Everyone fix themselves and leave me alone. That's what I'm on this I'm sorry. I'm so upset about the recycling still.
No. Why could they not just take the recycling? So
well, it's annoying because then it's in your house for another week, and you don't know.
I made that point to the gentleman. Also, we're two weeks here. So I said, now I'm sitting on this can of recycling for a month. He goes, why a month? I said, well, I've already been holding it for two weeks, and now it's gonna be two more weeks.
No. Do you know what? In England, the rubbish would not come every it would come every two weeks. You only had one can, and they would not take a bag if it was not inside the the can. Right?
So if you had extra stuff, you're, like, shit out of luck that week. And so we would go, and we would walk down the street, and we would find other people's rubbish bins to put our trash. Like, not big bags, but, like, little coffee cups Because it would take up precious square footage with my rubbish can. We didn't wanna do it.
Worst episode of Pattings and Bear ever. And so I would, I just I will say this that this is a thing that's I'm not gonna bore people with this. But in my town, they suddenly decided there was one can they'll pick up and no other cans. So about a year and a half ago, suddenly, they just weren't taking one of my cans. When I called and made the the point to the lady on the phone that, I'm now stuck with this at my house for a month, She said, and I'm quoting, just throw it in the trash.
And it's been in my it's been in my head ever since. And so today, when so, anyway, a few months after that, I was talking to the driver, and the driver goes, I'll take whatever can you put out. So for a year, they've been taking all my cans. Now today, suddenly, they don't take it again. I'm back on the phone.
I hear the lady, and and she's like, you're complaining to the wrong person. I'm like, well, do you not work in the trash and and and the recycling department in my township? And she said, yes. I'm like, well, I don't why are you not the right person? She goes, well, we contract out to another company.
I'm like, well, that's between you and Jesus. That has nothing to do with me. Okay? I'm like, you're telling me she thought she wasn't responsible because they pay someone else to pick up the I'm like, are you out of your mind? So I tried not to get upset, and then I might have.
And I was trying
to explain to her my
taxes and other things. I sounded insane. She didn't even she just put me on the phone with another guy. And, like, she didn't even say hold, please. I just there was another voice on the phone, and I I I laughed.
But but I said to him, I was like, I it it's either important that we recycle or it's not. But if it's not, then I'm gonna stop recycling and throw all my recycling in the trash. And and that's not a thing I wanna do. I wanna do whatever the right thing is here, but you can't tell me just throw it away now. And and and and he goes, we'll come pick it up.
And I went, thank you, but don't use that can again. I said, but I've been using it for a year. He goes, you probably got a different driver now. And I'm like, none of that makes any sense. And I was like and I I I am insulted that I seem like the crazy person now.
I was like I was like I'm like, you are you are you are taxed with picking up my recycling. Just do that, please. I was like and and and and and and don't tell me that the guy you hired to pick up my recycling is at fault, not not you. Like, I pay you to pick it up. I don't care I don't care who you subcontract to.
Like, what are the main conversation? Then I came in and complained to my wife for ten minutes. And then and she stared at me like, Scott, what do you want from me? And I was like, I I I I just want somebody to pick up the garbage. And so, anyway alright.
Wrapping Up1:00:31
Listen. I I I I wish you a ton of luck. I think you'll get there. I want you to get your thyroid checked. I want you to stay on top of hers, and I want you to find a way to do not say the right things.
And then see if your daughter doesn't pick up on that, and maybe start having that experience as well. Also, you should probably see a licensed professional. I am probably I'm probably an idiot. Okay. So that's pretty much it.
You good?
I'm good. Yeah.
I really did love you. This was awesome. If I didn't know what a mess you were, I'd track you down if my wife died and your husband left you. But I I I think it would be upsetting after a while. So party.
I think we'd have a good time in the beginning, and then it would go wolfily wrong. Although you would move to Tennessee if I asked you to. Right?
I would listen. Apparently, I'm just whatever. I'm up for anything as long as it doesn't involve health issues.
Because these sons of bitches are arguing with me.
Listen. It is way better. I mean, I'm sorry, but New Jersey is a bit cold. It's a bit gray. Tennessee, not so much.
So That's
where I'm at.
And there's Nashville.
So, I mean That's where I'm at.
Just need to listen to me.
Alright. Listen. God bless you. I I I hold on one second, please. Okay.
This episode of the Juice Box podcast was sponsored by US Med, usmed.com/juicebox, or call (888) 721-1514. Get started today with US Med. Links in the show notes. Links at juiceboxpodcast.com. The podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care.
Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Mobi with Control IQ plus technology at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. There are links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com. If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify, really any audio app at all, look for the Juice Box podcast, and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Wanna learn more about your diabetes management?
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#1911 Two Mirrors Part 1
Two Mirrors Part 1
Part one. An RN mom hasn’t slept in nearly two years — her daughter’s needle phobia, anxiety, and lows run the house. Scott hears it all, then offers the advice.
Jump to a moment
- The signs were there on the drive to Maine — the downed frappuccino, the desperate bathroom stops, the midnight thirst — and Amy, an RN, “knew it, but didn’t know it.” The diagnosis call came at a red light, on the car speakers, with Emily in the back seat.
- Emily may be the one kid who should never have gotten a disease built around needles — she was already in needle-exposure therapy before type 1 arrived. Four hours to change a Dexcom in the early months; nearly two years later, she’s still on MDI with a Tandem Mobi finally in the mail.
- Caregiver burnout is the real subject of this episode. Amy has woken every two hours for nearly two years — “I need a four-hour nap and a bottle of tequila” — and only one person on earth is allowed to babysit.
- The family history runs deep: Amy’s mom was diagnosed with type 1 at 40, her grandfather in his sixties, and Amy and her mom both have Hashimoto’s. Her nephew’s unexplained lows prompt a live look at whether lows can precede a type 1 diagnosis (sometimes, rarely).
- Scott’s reframe: people who live with diabetes long enough stop flinching — like people who live where rockets fly overhead. Part one ends mid-sentence as Scott asks, “Can I give you the advice?” The advice is part two.
- Part Two — JBP #1912 — The conclusion — Scott's advice, the two-mirrors talk, and the thyroid checklist
- Tandem Mobi — The pump Emily is about to start; sponsor link
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — Community around type 1 (verify URL)
Every word of the conversation
Welcome0:00
Hello, friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Juice Box podcast. My diabetes pro tip series is about cutting through the clutter of diabetes management to give you the straightforward practical insights that truly make a difference. This series is all about mastering the fundamentals, whether it's the basics of insulin, dosing adjustments, or everyday management strategies that will empower you to take control. I'm joined by Jenny Smith, who is a diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal experience, and we break down complex concepts into simple, actionable tips. The diabetes pro tip series runs between episode one thousand and one thousand twenty five in your podcast player, or you can listen to it at juiceboxpodcast.com by going up into the menu.
Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Today's episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by the Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter. This is the meter that my daughter has on her person right now. It is incredibly accurate and waiting for you at Kontoor Next dot com slash juice box.
Today's podcast episode is sponsored by MiniMed, the innovators behind the MiniMed Flex system, a small, sleek, and discreet insulin automated delivery system controlled from an app. Nothing comes close to freedom you can feel. To learn more, visit minimed.com/juicebox.
Meet Amy — Ohio by Way of Everywhere1:49
My name is Amy. I currently live in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. I have two kids. One's my t one d and my husband, and we have a German shepherd named London.
I see London. I see France. I see Amy Yes.
On the podcast.
Also, every time someone says Ohio, I just think of that Drew Carey show.
Well, my husband is originally from here. I am not. So there seems to be awful a lot of jokes about Ohio for some reason, and I I don't know whether to join in on the jokes or not to defend my husband, but it's so funny. So I don't know.
Well well, there is a for people who don't remember television, there was a a a sitcom with Drew Carey. I believe it was called I I don't know how they came up with this title. I I believe it was called the Drew Carey Show. And, there was a song, and I don't know any of the song. Like, I couldn't sing it for you now if you paid me money.
All I know is that the last line of the song, someone just goes, Ohio. And I think it, like, and I think it echoes. And that's what I think of every time. So That's
so funny.
Nevertheless, I'm sorry that someone drug you there if you didn't wanna go.
No. Well, it's one of those things where it's such a nice it's a great place to raise kids, but there's, like it's a you know, it's
Now what?
It's like well, it's like it's you know? So I'm from Massachusetts. I was raised on the very Southern West Coastal Maine coastline.
Okay.
And we had the beach. We had mountains. We had Boston. And, you know, you go to Boston, it's like Harvard and and all the, you know, Tufts and all these things, and it's just you're surrounded by, like, education and some of the, in my opinion, best sports teams in the country.
Well, I mean, you're wrong about the sports thing, but the other stuff I'm in, I I I do I do understand what you're saying.
You know? But, and then, you know, it's just so funny. And then you come here, and it's great. There's nothing, like, wrong with it, but it's just like
Is it so from your this is interesting. May I before we get started, I I recently went to Tennessee to look at a a house. And and everyone who's from here says, you're gonna move to Tennessee? And I'm like I I said maybe. And they're like, well, then you'd be in Tennessee.
And I was like, yeah. I think it's really pretty, and there's, like, mountains, and it's, like, I found I found that it was, like, in the middle of nowhere, but, like, very close to something else. And, you know, and I thought but but then this this thing came to me. I I work a lot, and so does my wife. Right?
And we're probably gonna work for ten more years. And so I told I I said to them, I honestly think that on the if you pick the right day of the week, you could pick my house up. If you could magically lift my house up and put it somewhere else, I might not know that I'm not in New Jersey for days. Right. I was like, so what's the difference?
Right. Very
fair. Very fair.
At the end of the day, when I do make it outside for a half an hour, what if I looked up and there was a mountain there and my neighbor wasn't right next to me? Like, what if that happened?
Yes.
I don't know.
We we lived in South Carolina, actually, in Greenville for a year. My son was born there. And so we were very close to Tennessee, and we would go. And you could go to, like, Gattenberg and Pigeon Forge and Nashville. It's great.
Like, I highly recommend Tennessee because I just think it's so beautiful. Thank you. You know, we lived in Manhattan too, so I was very close to New Jersey at one point. So I no offense, but that's a bit busy for me.
It's it's getting busy for me too. Okay? And and I think that's a a function of my age. If we get to a chance later, I will tell you how that right before I did this, I was in the driveway of my house on my phone, ranting at the person who's supposed to pick up my recycling in a way that made me think, I gotta I gotta get out of here. It was like was anyway Yeah.
Let's find out a little bit about you guys now. So Sounds good. Husband, dog, kids, Ohio. How many kids again?
We have two.
Two. And the ages?
So my t one d daughter is 12, and, she turned 12 in March. And my son is eight, and he turned, eight. So he's, like, eight and a half. How
old are you?
I am old. I am 40. I just turned 44 in April, and I just hate saying that number.
I am old, you said. I'm 50 I'm 54.
Well, it's funny because a lot of women my age are like, oh, 40 is gonna be awful. When you hit 40, all of this stuff goes wrong. And, you know, in my thirties, was hearing that constantly, and 40 was fine. 41 was fine. 42 was fine.
And I'm like, they're lying. I don't know what you know, I'm running half marathons every year. Like, I'm like, I don't see what the problem is. And then 43 hit, and it was like t one d diagnosis, 43, everything like, my world is just falling apart.
So Wait till you go
into what they call perimenopause.
Well, yes. I'm like, shoot. Now that's next. There's nothing like there's no good coming. It's all downhill from here.
Alright.
Listen. I I like being positive, but you're probably right. So I I I all I know is my wife's downstairs, and if I brought her up here and she started talking right now, I think she'd go on for a while about what's what's wrong. But but
Well, and it's it's funny because I'm an RN too. I don't currently work. But, like, for a long time, I was always the person scheduling what I call, like, the older people test, like, colonoscopies and all these things. And now I'm like, shoot. That's gonna have to be me some soon, and these little young nurses are gonna be scheduling that for me.
Like, when did that turn? I don't I don't like it. I don't understand it, and it's just all terrible.
There's gonna be some 23 year old girl with an ass like a drum who's gonna flip you over one day and be like, oh, I hope this doesn't happen to me.
That's exactly right. Yep. That's my fear. It's happening.
Mhmm. And it's gonna listen. Here's the thing I said to somebody the other day. Getting old is terrible, but it's way better than the alternative. So
I hope so.
Yeah. But we don't know
what it is. Dying.
Andy, the old the the you're like, wait. What if dying's better than the old than being old? Is that what you're saying?
We don't know what we don't know. Right? Like, you know oh, man. That's funny.
I guess that's why at the end, you do see older people who have lived a long time. They just go, it's okay. I can die.
And and Exactly right.
It's best it that is maybe one of the hardest things to understand when you're younger. When you look at a person who's just like, I'm I'm good with going. You're like, no. You can fight. And they're like, meh.
It's alright. I'm good. I've done enough.
Yeah. Exactly. Really interesting.
The Road to Diagnosis Begins8:25
Okay. So how old is your child when when they're diagnosed?
So she was 10 pretty much. It was, like, the end of summer, and her birthday's in March. So Okay. Yeah. 10.
What what so you said you were an RN. So did you please I I'm waiting for somebody to go. I immediately know what it was, and I jumped into action, but but tell me what happened.
So we lived in England, The UK, for, like, six years.
And your husband's a spy, right, or something? What's going
on? Yes.
Okay.
Alright. I can't tell you more, but he definitely spies on peep no. Okay.
And you guys what have you said to me? Massachusetts, South Carolina, Ohio, England, New York City.
And I lived in Hawaii for four years as well. Yes. Alright. But that was pre kids.
I gotta tell you, you are gonna explain this to me at the end of this episode. So okay. So okay. So anyway, you're go ahead. You're doing what now?
Yeah. So my husband's job, he worked in a British pharmaceutical company and and a different company too. So two different companies took us to The UK, total of six years. While we were there, my daughter got very sick, and she it was, like, it was, like, post COVID, but not really. So it was the rules about who was in the hospital with who was tight still, but you could kinda go to a restaurant.
So it was like and UK was different than America in terms of their regulations and stuff. But she was really sick. Both my kids were her cough lingered, and then it, like, turned bad. And so I went to see our private doctor, and he was like, well, here's a prescription, antibiotic, take it if she spikes a fever. And it was, like, twenty four hours later.
I'm like, this isn't going anywhere. I'm gonna just start giving her this antibiotic. Mhmm. And then, like, probably twelve hours later, she was, like, on the couch, not able to eat, not able to drink, not even able to, like, speak because she was just so lethargic. And I was trying to, like, spoon chicken noodle soup into her and, oh, you know, whatever.
And then we brought her to the hospital. They admitted her. She had pneumonia. And so okay. Fine.
So three days, IV antibiotics. We went home. All's fine. But they delayed the treatment in my opinion. And she's always had my dad backstory, my dad died when I was 10 from polycystic kidney disease, and my daughter has had blood protein on and off in her kidneys since she's been two, which was picked up by a very kind teacher at the Primrose School in Greenville, South Carolina, who just thought we had she we thought she had a UTI, but it was it was just, like, a little bit of an infection kind of.
But, anyway, nothing nothing bad enough to fix anything. There's nothing to do. It's like a benign, hematuria is what they call it. So they're functioning fine. They're just not perfect.
Right? So, like, a filter that's just not perfectly filtering. It's no big deal. We got the pneumonia fixed. We're fine.
Couple years go by. We move home just because we're like, that was a scary experience. Like, the health care in The United Kingdom is really difficult and not great. Let's move back to America, so we did. We picked Ohio because my husband was convinced that the housing market was cheaper here.
So we moved to Ohio, and the summer of twenty four, we went to back to London for two weeks to visit. And we landed, and we were doing our thing. And at summer, not a lot of places have air con in them. She was drinking some water, but it literally didn't I did not stand out in any way. We came home back to Ohio.
Four days unpacked, repacked. We drove to Maine. And on our because that's we do a summer holiday there for about two weeks every year.
Warning Signs on the Drive to Maine12:08
Okay.
And on the drive to Maine, we stopped at a rest area, filled up with gas. There was a Starbucks. She downed a frappuccino in, like, ten seconds, and my son was barely sipping it. And he had never had one before. In The UK, we didn't really have Starbucks very frequent.
So I was like but she loves sugar and, like, sweet stuff. And I'm like, oh, that Emily. Like, now you're gonna get sick. Right? So she had peed twice while we were there, and I just thought, well, maybe like, come on.
You just you're just drinking too much. Like, this is silly. You're just downing this stuff. It's gross. We get back in the car.
We're on 90 heading east, and they shut the highway down because of a massive car accident. They're trying to land a helicopter. So they funnel everybody off on these back roads in Pennsylvania for to pass, like, two exits. And during that time, it was bumper to bumper for probably an hour, and she started having to pee. And she has had to go so bad that she was, like, crying about it.
And I was getting mad because I was like, you're making this drive difficult on purpose. You're back there just doing whatever, you know, drinking because you're bored and whatever.
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'I Knew It, but I Didn't Know It'14:51
So we finally get to a rest area. It it got so bad, though. I thought about asking, like, a random house, knocking on a door, and being like, can my daughter pee? But that's weird. So we didn't do it.
Found a bathroom somewhere, got her settled, got back in the car, got to Maine. The end of the two weeks comes, and she came up in the middle of the night and was like, I'm thirsty, and I have to pee. And the whole two weeks, they had been complaining about the location of their bedroom in this rental property that we had. And so they're a little bit bougie. They're used to Ohio where we have air conditioning in the house.
A lot of main houses don't have air conditioning. It was a hot night, and I'm just like, whatever. You're just being difficult. Go to that. It happened this second night, and that was the last night of the trip.
We're on the coast of Maine. There's no children's hospital with it's, like, forty five minutes north to Portland to the Barbara Bush Hospital or forty five minutes south to Boston. And I was like but I didn't I knew it, but I didn't know it. And I was like, nope. Nope.
Nope. Like, this is not it. We're fine.
She's just a pain.
She's just a pain in the ass. Like, whatever. I can't even handle you. You're just ruining my sleep on my vacation. Right?
Like, so I'm just annoyed. And so we pack the next day. We're driving home, and I'm emailing her nephrologist who we just have annual well checks with.
Right.
So I'm like, listen. I don't know, but I need you to run all these tests. And she's like, okay. Fine. Because we had an appointment with her probably three days later when we got back in Ohio.
Okay.
She's like, fine. No big deal. So blood work. There's a whole another story with needle therapy exposure for Emily because my daughter because she is just terrified of needles. So this was a we had, like, eight people holding her down.
We got the blood work. I expected to be wrong. Like, I was just praying I was wrong. We went to Dillard's, which is a local department store to do some back to school school shopping, And we were driving out at a red light. It turns green.
The Phone Call at a Red Light17:05
My phone rings. It's a local Ohio number. I didn't really even dawn on me who this could be, so I pressed okay on my car. So it's over the speakers, so there's no way of hiding it. And my doctor's on the phone, and she's like, your daughter has type one diabetes.
I need you to get to the emergency room right now. And I just was like and she's in the back seat, and the light screen, there's people behind me. The cars in front of me have gone. I can't pull over. She's, like, thinking she's going to die immediately because she doesn't know what this means.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm like, oh my god. Like, I don't even know. So I pull over as fast as I can. The doctor's trying to calm her down through the speakers of the car. I you know, I'm just like, oh my goodness.
So we race home, pack a bag, tell my husband, and the four of us drive to the local hospital where the sweetest, kindest, loveliest peds endo is on call waiting for us to arrive. So we get there, and we are admitted for two nights, three days. Yeah. And then
That's it.
Here we are, diabetics. Yep.
Wow. Jeez. That's something else. Was a lot. Yeah.
No. I I imagine. And and did you get to go to Dillard's? Did you do the shopping or no?
Yeah. We did the shopping. It was a great mother daughter day. Like, everything was good. You know, she didn't it wasn't like drinking every day like crazy and peeing every day like crazy.
So I thought, you know, maybe it was just a fluke.
Yeah.
Maybe it was a flu. Maybe it was a little sickness. Maybe it was exhaust heat exhaustion because we go to the beach every day, all day in Maine, and it can get warm. And Right. You know, you're tired.
You're not getting sleep. You're not in your house. We don't have air con like, whatever. It could be a million things.
Why? I asked about Dillard's not because I cared about the shopping, but I was trying to figure out if she if she was, like, you know, how she was feeling. This sounds like she was doing okay that day. I
gotcha. Great. Yeah. Oh, she was walking the little runway within the dressing room, like, trying things on, and Yeah. We had a great we had a great morning.
So
I I like when you say I I have to tell you what. I don't I I'm not going I'm not vacationing anywhere warm without air conditioning, and I don't think of that as bougie at all. I don't think I think of that as fair necessity. But
So funny. Well, we grew up as kids in Maine, and we never had it. You would open the windows, and you'd have a little ocean breeze, and you were fine.
Yeah. But as we went over earlier, Amy, you're old, So that's a different one.
That's exactly right. Yes. The world the climate has changed.
Right? Listen. We we, grew up I don't know if I've ever really talked about this before or not, but I grew up in a rented house.
Okay.
That, was rented to my family by a church. So the church had a parsonage. A parsonage is a place where usually your your pastor lives. And, they were renting it because the pastor had his own house. So I I grew up in a three story home that I didn't belong in.
Like, we couldn't we couldn't actually afford. Okay? But I think I as I look back now in hindsight, I think the church was trying to be nice to my family and everything. I I I see now that I was on some sort of welfare that I didn't understand. But but that but neither here nor there.
We did not that house did not have air conditioning. Mhmm. And we didn't have what you might call money. So, my parents eventually, like, scraped up enough to buy one air conditioner that went to a window. Mhmm.
And what we did was is we basically figured out what the largest room in the house was that we could afford an air conditioner that would fit in, and then we put it there, which ended up being the living room slash dining room.
Okay.
Now the problem is is that there was a doorway into the kitchen, and it didn't have a door on it. But we the the air conditioner wasn't strong enough to actually air condition the kitchen too. So we had to hang sheets over doors to keep the cold air in the space, and then all summer long, we all slept in the Yeah. In in that room. Right?
And I'm gonna tell you right now, I can physically feel right now pulling the curtain aside and walking into the kitchen.
Oh. Like like, how
just wave.
Yeah. That exactly. Just, like, hit in the face of this horrible heat. You know? You tell me to sleep in that now, and I'll say, no.
Thank you. I've I've ascended I've ascended beyond this. I'm not doing this anymore.
So So funny. Well, the houses in England don't don't have air conditioning, really. And so why
we all left.
Yes. Yes. That's the only reason. And we like, the ups they're built so well, and, like, the upstairs just is stifling in the summer. And they don't have screens on the window either.
So you can't open the screens at night because bugs come in, and you can't not open the window because there's no air con. So I don't know how people survive.
Heathens.
Like, because Yeah.
Yeah. No. I understand.
It's awful. It's awful.
I listen. I vacationed in Vermont once.
Oh. And I listen
to that noise she knows already. And so, like so I'm living in society here where where, you know, people live in civilization. I never imagined there wouldn't be an air conditioner at the house that I rented. And Yep. My wife arrived earlier.
Arden and Kelly went ahead because Cole and I were in a baseball tournament. And so she we're now driving to Vermont. She's there. And I remember Arden, this little girl. She calls.
She goes, hey. Mom called and said this house doesn't have mom said this house doesn't have air conditioning. And I went, it's a house. Of course, it has air conditioning. She goes, no.
This house does not have air conditioning. Everyone was mad at me for a full week. I just want you mad.
No. They need a redo on their vacation.
I've never slept so close to a fan before in my entire life.
That's so funny. Anyway Welcome to New England. Yeah.
Pull pull it together, Vermont. Terrible. Yeah.
But so
They're all eating Ben and Jerry's. They don't know it either. Well, I mean, we did
the Ben and Jerry's tour. It was nice.
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Well, So so impact on you, rest of your family, then I wanna hear about your daughter. But, like, is it I mean, obviously, it's shocking, but how do you how do you process it?
Processing It — an RN and a Mom23:02
Oh my gosh. It was awful. Like, I was just in the hospital, and I'm as I'm watching things from a medical side because I'm an RN, and I'm also trying to be her mom, and she is terrified. And, like, the anxiousness, the apprehensive like, I don't need there's no word that could even describe how anxious my poor daughter is. And before this, ironically, the probably eight months leading up to it, she had the flu shot the fall before, and our pediatrician was like, her reaction to getting a shot is not okay.
Like, she needs to see a therapist. So we went and we saw a therapist who she hated to see, but he was sweet as can be. And he did needle exposure therapy. So he brought in insulin syringes, like the old school kind, to just let her touch and feel and, like, you know, and he actually let her poke him with one and to to just try to get over, like, this irrational fear. Does it help him?
No. It didn't. And it was just miserable. And then we go on these trips and we get diagnosed, and I have to call him and be like, listen. Like, randomly, the one kid in the world who should not have a disease that's based around needles just got diagnosed with type one.
And he was like, what?
Like, this is so random. That that's that's like a
well, listen. We you know, Arden is a has a fairly heavy needle phobia too. So and I I know what she's tried a couple of different things, and so far, none of it really helps.
So Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like for blood draws, we have to go downtown. They have to bring in the child life specialist. They have a dog.
They have, like, you know, a gift toy shop, like, whatever. You know, we have to bribe her with whatever it is she want. Like, it's it's awful. It is awful.
But I should say that recently, Arden had to get a blood draw, and she went by herself.
Oh, okay.
And, like, there's definitely part of me that when she came back, I was like, there there's a coin flips chance she's gonna walk in the door and go, well, I didn't do that. And so, but she did. I was really proud of her. So
Yeah. Yeah. That's huge. That's huge. Yeah.
So I had swollen eyes. Like, I was in I was walking around the hospital with sunglasses on my face because my eyes were so swollen from just crying Mhmm. The whole time. And my so my mom has type one, but she didn't get diagnosed until she was 40 when my dad passed away, like, the same year they think it was stress. Her dad had it, but he didn't get diagnosed until he was in the sixties.
And they both were like, no. It's type two, but it wasn't. Like, the doctors were wrong.
Family History — Type 1, Hashimoto's, and Anxiety25:45
Was Amy, your grandfather was diagnosed with type one in his sixties. Your mom in her forties, and your dad had polycystic kidney disease? Yeah. What do you have? You have you definitely have hypothyroidism.
Right?
You're correct. I have Hashimoto's.
Yeah.
My mom has Hashimoto's. And, actually, I got Hashimoto's, like, my fourth month of being pregnant with Emily Mhmm. With my daughter.
Yes. And Emily's anxious, you said too.
Oh, to like, that doesn't even come close. That's the closest word I can figure out to describe her, but it's awful.
A cat in a room full of rocking chairs kind of thing?
Yep. Yep. Like, four hours to change a Dexcom for the first six months of our diagnosis. Like, four hours to put one on and never mind taking the old one off.
I know. Ardent's good. Like, I just wanted to
drink fast. I'm like, I mean, we have done this 800,000 times.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So Yes.
Well, what wait. Wait. What what else is so if you listen, you know, like, I I don't imagine that anxiety is autoimmune, but I do think it's inflammation related to some degree. Yeah. And I also think that I and I'll say this over and over again if I have to, but I've interviewed nearly 2,000 people now.
And I think that if I left the type one community and interviewed 2,000 more people, I would not hear this much anxiety from people. Like so I think it's all kind of interconnected somehow. What else is going on? Anybody got celiac?
Not that we know of. No. Not that we know of. No. I don't
Nobody nervous belly? Nobody's running to the bathroom all the time?
Not that I know of. Okay. So I I can get that sometimes, like, when I ran and stuff like that, but I don't know. Like, it's not bad enough where it's like a thing, but it's sometimes. So Mhmm.
I think it's just two Hashimoto's and
the type one. Ones. Well, now three three three type ones now. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. How about your husband's side? Anything going on over there besides thinking that the the real estate in Ohio is the way to make a decision?
Mental ill no. I'm joking. So he had, he had anxious he was very anxious in college. Like, almost like panic attacks, but not really. Okay.
But that's it. I don't think they have
his dad. How did
you find each other? High in a therapist's office? What was going on?
We he worked actually for a pharmaceutical company, and he was living in Connecticut when I was living in the New England area. We just met through mutual friends. But
Okay.
Yeah. They
were like, hey. I think if we put you guys together, you'll have a really anxious kid. And so
But I've never been an anxious person. Like, I mean Okay. I lived in Hawaii. I was just chill. I was very relaxed.
Like, my whole life, I feel like I wasn't an anxious person. I was just about having fun and Mhmm.
How about you?
Never. And
Do you have any siblings? Or
I have three sisters. Yep. My oldest one is my dad's child only, so she's my half sister. She has a lot of, like, urinary issues, like UTI chronic UTIs. Mhmm.
They all have had ironically, they have all had blood and proteins in their urine, I believe. I know blood. I'm I'm pretty sure about proteins more than I have. And so when I was pregnant, the doctors were all over my kidneys, and there was never anything wrong.
Yeah.
So I felt like I was skipping that, but I take after my dad more than my mom. Like, my looks, my height, my colors, like, all the things. Mhmm. And those girls the other my full two sisters take after my mom's side more. And, honestly, I just thought if anyone gets anything, it's gonna be those kid the my sister's kids because they kind of resemble her more.
Oh. But I just feel like we got, you know
But
slammed with it.
Any autoimmune with the with your sisters or anything else with them?
Her Nephew's Lows — Can Lows Come Before Type 1?29:44
Not that we know of. My youngest nephew who is, what, five maybe, he recently in the past six months I don't know too too much about it because they're not sure what's going on yet, but he will get super cranky, super, like like, just hangry until he has a snack. And so they are keep checking his blood sugars. And then I went online, and I don't know if it was within your Facebook group or just t one b d parents or something, but somebody actually posted about my kid having a low blood sugar for a very long time, and then they got type one diabetes. Yeah.
And I don't know if that's, like, a thing.
Or It it it is. Like, sometimes sometimes people get low before they get diagnosed.
Yes. Yeah. And he, like, needs a snack, like or he's freaking out apparently. I don't know that's,
I don't
know if that's the the actually, we should figure that out. While I'm figuring that out, let me read this real quickly for people. Polycystic kidney disease or PKD is a genetic kidney disorder where many fluid filled cysts grow in the kidneys. Over time, those cysts can make the kidneys larger, damage normal kidney tissue, raise blood pressure, and sometimes lead to kidney failure. So plainly, the kidneys slowly get crowded by cysts, and the crowding can make them work worse.
Yeah. Common things connected to PKD could be high blood pressure, backside or belly pain, blood in the urine, kidney stones or infection, cysts in the liver, gradual loss of kidney function. Let's ask the question. Why wait. Wait.
Hold on. Is there a medical reason that someone who will one day get type one diabetes would experience low blood sugars. Is that not I think I did that. Right? Yeah.
Let's see let's see what today I'm using ChatGPT. I would have used another one, if it was open, but I was using I was using this one to make images for the website, so it's open on my browser. I look forward to your emails telling me not to use ChatGPT to make images. I can't wait to delete them. Let's see.
Yes. It can happen, but it's not a common pattern. Well, it seems common when I'm talking to people. Erratic insulin release from stressed beta cells, insulin antibodies, autoimmune hypoglycemia, reactive hypoglycemia that is unrelated to future type one. So it okay.
So the three things that it highlighted was in early autoimmune diabetes, the pancreas may still make insulin, but not smoothly. Some research has described post meal reactive lows before overt type one diabetes, possibly from delayed or excessive insulin release. There are published case reports and small studies showing hypoglycemia before insulin treatment in a minority of people later diagnosed with type one. One study found that six of eighty seven people or six point nine percent. Insulin autoantibodies, autoimmune hypoglycemia, rarely the same autoimmune process around type one can involve insulin autoantibodies that mess with the insulin availability and cause lows.
This is uncommon but documented. And then reactive hypoglycemia that is unrelated to future type one. This is probably the more common explanation. People without type without diabetes can get shaky, sweaty, weak, anxious, hungry, or foggy a few hours after eating, especially after high carb meals. The Mayo Clinic notes that reactive hypoglycemia in people without diabetes often has unclear causes but can relate to meals, alcohol, gastric surgery, inherited metabolic conditions, or rare tumors.
Wow. Life. So much fun. So you're
So much.
And and yeah. Good time. Like you said earlier, like, I said, you know, it could be worse. You could be dead, you went
that case, I mean, you know.
Two Years In — Still MDI, a Moby in the Mail33:34
So so
okay. So I think we understand the background of of, you know, your family. So I I guess I would like to dig in for a second. She's diagnosed. She has a terrible needle phobia.
Yeah. And so how does she handle the diagnosis, and how do you get through this? Because now it's what? Three and a half years later, did you say?
We're it'll be two years this August. Two years. So we're not yeah. We're still we're still kind of in the fog. So she's I when she was first in the hospital, she had been in the hospital for the pneumonia in England, and she had the IV, and that was awful.
But that was it. Like, there wasn't multiple sticks and all that kind of thing, obviously.
Mhmm.
This one, you know, just involved waking us up all the time for the finger sticks and all the things. And I just think she thought, like, that would end. Like, there would be that's just while we're here in the hospital, and then we go home, and that's not like that. We have a restaurant called the Yard House that we go to every Friday. It's, like, five minutes from our house, and it's just our Friday family thing to do.
And I remember telling the doc like, on the rounds, I went out because I was so interested in what they were saying, the RN part of me. And I stood there in rounds, and I was like, listen. We're out of here by 03:00 today. Like, I'm done. I can't do this anymore.
So whatever you need to do to discharge us by three, we are going to the yard house tonight. It is Friday. We are out of here. Like, I'm done.
Mhmm.
And I just remember getting to the yard house and being like, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. Like, am I going to keep her alive? What is a french fry? I don't know. I have zero clue.
You know?
Everyone were leaving the yard house immediately. Everybody
out. Yes.
The Yes. Poor kid was starving, and I just was like you know, in the hospital, they just try to teach you so many things at once, but also super basic stuff. Like, you can eat meat and cheese. There's no snacks. This is what you do for breakfast.
This is what you do for lunch. This is what you do for dinner. So I was like, this kid can't have a snack ever? Like and I remember my nutritionist, like, two days after diagnosis being like, no. That's not true.
And I was like, oh, thank god. Like, you know, because I don't know what I don't know.
We want 20 dozen eggs and 35 pounds of bacon. We we yeah.
Oh, and she's gonna die now of clogged arteries at, you know, 12. Like, I
don't know. News. Her blood sugar's terrific.
Her her
cholesterol is not looking good at all. Oh,
And then sodium, you know, so then her kidneys start failing. You're just like, damn it, man. Can it wasn't
the really does go through your mind in those two days.
Oh, a 100%. You know? And, you know, and and I haven't slept. I honestly I I feel like I she's still MDI, and we're just, like, two days ago received Tandem Moby in the mail, and we haven't received the the supplies with it. And we're waiting for our training, but this is the first time in almost twenty four months that she's even been like, well, maybe I could potentially let's see.
Try this. Maybe. She could
make run from the needles even though she hates them?
Anything new is so scary to her. Like and not even necessarily diabetes related. Like, if I was, like, try softball. She'd be like, oh, I don't know. You know, like, it's just
Mom, softball.
My god. You know what's gonna go wrong.
Right? Yes. Yep. So anything new. So it's like that was what we were doing.
She couldn't deviate from that.
Aw. Boy, a poor kid.
That's terrible.
Running on No Sleep36:57
It's awful. And I haven't slept in, you know, twenty two one months. And, like, literally, every two it's worse than a newborn. I am up every two hours all night, and my sweet husband, he'll sleep through the night. He travels a lot for work, so I'm I don't work currently.
I'm the primary caregiver for the children. So he gets restful nights when he's away, and he gets restful nights when he's home because he has to work. Like, on the weekends, we take turns and stuff, but I'm like, you know what? Monday through Thursday, like, this is all it's fine. I can try to rest during the day, whatever.
And he'll be like, just take ten minute power naps. And I'm like, for someone who gets consecutive sleep, a ten minute power nap might work. But when you're sleep deprived of that deep restorative restful sleep
Amy, it's
like ten
minute nap. Nap. Fuck you. Okay? Literally,
this is what I wanna say. I need a four hour fucking nap and a bottle of tequila.
About three months, and you all try to stay alive till I get back.
Yes. Yes. And I don't know if it's because I'm mom or and an RN or both or one or whatever it is, but she, for the first, I would say thirteen, fourteen months, wouldn't let anybody touch her but me.
Yeah.
So if it was like, I couldn't even see couldn't even be like, Amy, I got this. Like, you rest tonight, because she would have a massive panic attack because daddy was trying to fix it. And bless her heart, one night, I did go forty five minute away to a mom's night out. It's a diabetic conference thing for parents of t one d.
Sounds fun. Yes.
And it was forty five minutes away, and I got a call during the dinner service at, like, 07:30. She's like, mom, I'm going low. Daddy just gave me a sugar free juice. And I was like, oh my god. This is this is why I can't leave home.
He's like 13
year old's on the phone going, hey. This idiot you married is trying to kill me over here. Okay? Yeah. So
Yeah. Yeah. And my son, who's seven or I think six at the time, he's like yeah. I can hear him in the background. Like, don't worry, mom.
I gave her a regular juice with Sesame Street on it because that's the kind we buy is the little ones with the Sesame Street
on it. So Amy's out going My seven years, they have only one holding this together right now.
Like, I'm not this is so not you're not wrong. Like, there's times, and I'm like, oh my god. This is true. Like, he knows more. I think, in honest opinion, he would know more about pediatric type one diabetes than the average adult ER physician.
I'm not even like, I honestly believe this whole heart.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just sad on its own, by the way. So Oh,
that's awful.
So okay. I think I understand the bigger picture here. And and and so now completely serious, you know you can't keep doing this for much longer. Right?
I honestly feel like I told I I I have had moments where I've just melted down and and, like, you know, screamed at everybody because I don't feel like they quite understand that if mom dies of sleep deprivation, like, or cancer because I haven't slept or sick, whatever, like, my car into a tree because I fell asleep driving, like, I'm not gonna be here to take care of you anyway.
So, like, if I don't I go, we all have to go together. Okay? Because I'm I'm looking up. Like, maybe he could do okay without the kids, but I think with the kids, it's not gonna go well. Maybe maybe just give the seven year old a couple of grand and let him go farrow and see what happens.
You you know?
I used to I used to be in the philosophy of we all fly on a separate plane because, you know but now I'm like, no. We're all together in this one, guys. Hop aboard because if it goes down, at
least is what we need. We need to all go if we're gonna go. You're you're you're in the the crazy, like, you're, like, crazy lady on the news, like, level right now. Well, what happened? I just they can't live without me.
I'm like, they probably would be fine. So so but seriously, they probably would be fine. So, like, you're like, you know what I mean? Like, what do you honestly, they'd pull it together. Right?
Well, you know, I I do think in the I think my husband has been you know, she has, you know, made him feel awful enough for that one night that he's really learned to, like, look at what he's giving her for a low snack. But I just think she is it's a 100% nothing to do with him. He's great, but it's just her personality. And it's just her changing it up from something. And mom's always there.
Mom's you know, I I my body will literally wake up, and then the next change on the Dexcom, it'll hit a low. And I'll be like, my it's just like something in my body.
Why So Many Lows?41:30
Why is she getting low so much?
It's so weird because, you know, I've listened to you a lot, and I'm like, what what am I doing wrong? But she like, I'll do the same thing, the same time, the same food, the same activity, and one night she's 200 plus overnight, and I'm waking up every three hours to give a correction and whatever. And then the next night, you know, I give the same correction right before bed, and she's dropping, you know,
I have night the
Moby's gonna fix a lot of this for you.
I praise God. Like, if they if if it does, I will find the creator of that pump and give them a big old kiss because I'm like, I need someone to come save my life right now. Like, this is but my my anxiety in all of this is there have been plenty of times that the g seven is so off that I am terrified of it being like, oh, she's one eighty, and Moby's like, okay. Here's some insulin, and she's 40. You know?
And I think telling me there are
times that her blood sugar says one eighty, but she's 40?
There's been times the g seven has been a 100 points off. Yes.
But but like that? Or
Yeah. Like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So one time it was I was checking her, she's and like, mom, I just don't feel right.
And then her actual finger prick wasn't 40. That's an exaggeration. But it was, I think it was, like, 62 or something. And the Dexcom was, like, one fifty or, you know, something you wouldn't have even, like, almost to the point where you're like, you're fine. Like, I don't
know what you're bitching about. You know? But, like, then she's not. She's well hydrated.
Most days, you know, there could be a day at school or something like that where she's not, but I do try to make sure that, you know, she's drinking well enough. I do try to make sure it's in the right spot. I do it's not a compression low. You know, like, with the Dexcom's low and she's not like, all the things, you just but it's like she's standing she put her left foot forward, and the wind's blowing north today. Like, I don't know.
Like, what is the there's nothing that I can think about that changes. You know? You
are in desperate need of a step back.
I am desperate need of, like and we used to have such a good life. Like, for six years, we lived in
You got a good white lady thing going on. I heard it. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Traveled to Italy. We went up on the weekend. You know, we were like, let's go to Rome. Why not?
Let's drive to France, Belgium. Let's do it. You know? Like and believe
doing me that anymore?
No. We live in America, which it's like, where are we gonna go? Michigan? I'd rather not.
You know?
A lot of people listen from Michigan. I love Michigan. I just wanna say that out loud. There's nothing wrong with Also Ohio.
Wrong with Michigan. Yeah.
Well say.
There's nothing wrong with Michigan, but it's not Rome, Italy is my point. You know what I mean? Like, it's not
I hear you. Okay. Well, I mean, I think even the people of Michigan would say that.
This is it. Yeah.
This is it. That's my point. Yes.
'We Used to Have a Good Life'44:28
So yeah. So but but but wait. Let's let's let's slow down for a minute, Amy. Are you so you said you're anxious too.
Well, I'm anxious about the fact that if I do something wrong, she's dead, and you're supposed to take care of your children. Right? So you're supposed to protect them, and you're supposed to provide
them all and You're not gonna kill her. It's fine.
I'm just
You gotta let go of that.
Ugh, man. And it's like, you know, everything has just become so complicated in life. Like, we've flown. We were in Hawaii in April. You know, we go on a holiday every every summer school break, and the amount of crap we went to Connecticut for two days because we're supposed to move for my husband's job now, and Connecticut was the first option.
So we went and being from New England, I was so excited, and we got there. And I'm not like we lived in Westchester County for a little while too, and it's right on that purchase, like, New Cannon line or whatever. And we were there for two days, and everything went wrong. The Dexcom went failed. The second the one I brought for we were there again for two nights, so I brought one extra because the one she had on was supposed to last.
We were in, like, day two or something. It failed. The one I brought, the wire stuck through the hole. Then we spent, like, two hours at CVS trying to get another one, and then that one failed. And then I had to get a third it's like you know, it was just
like Amy Amy, is it possible you're the problem?
No. You never fail on me. They never fail on me.
I just know.
String of them right there.
It was it was a weird thing. And there is there is a girl, and she's posted on her Instagram that she has a theory. Marley, you know, Bane, like that little Yeah.
She's lovely.
She she at one point said if they're made in Malaysia, they tend to have more problems than the ones that don't say Malaysia on the box.
Well, I think the company would tell you I think the company would tell you that's not true, but I don't know. Like, I have no idea. Listen.
You know he does lie, but I saw it, and I was like, oh, she's onto something. Like, all
four of
are from the lantern.
By the way, very well could be. I have no idea. What what I'm saying is that, like, there used to be this, gosh. I wish I could remember the number. There was this theory years ago that one of the codes was a problem.
And and Okay.
And then but you really have to stop and think about this. Like, the the number of those CGMs that are are made and put out into the world Mhmm. Is a massive number. The number of people online is a much, much smaller number.
If Very logical. Yes.
20 of them say, oh, this code is bad, then everyone online goes, everyone's saying it's this code. But Yeah. No one's pinging the other million CGMs that were made this year. And so
Very fair.
Yeah. So, anyway, I don't what I would say is that I don't think that's a good mathematical way to figure it out. I and I'm also not telling you you're wrong because I have absolutely no idea. I would just I would just, you know, say it feels like you got a bad string of them or maybe listen. Maybe a lot of them came out.
A lot l you know, not a lot, but a lot.
The lot.
Yes. Yes. I kept
I could've kept saying a lot over and over again. I wasn't gonna get anywhere. And maybe they came in that area. Like, I have absolutely no idea. Look.
I I Yeah. I'll tell you right now, that goosenecking thing that you talked about. Yeah. When it first came out, I think Arden put three on in a row that did that.
Yes. And it was clearly a
problem, and now it seems to be much less of a problem.
Well and here's the thing. Like, if she was a very chill girl and it's just like, oh, shit. This wire popped through. Let's rip it off and do another one. It would be, like, no big deal.
But it is, like, meltdown. Like, it you know?
Well, I don't wanna I don't wanna undervalue her situation, but I also don't wanna undervalue other people's situations. I think it's a big deal for anybody. I think I think that, like, you know, you don't wanna stop and change a device, And then you No. You do it, and then it doesn't work. You're like, you gotta I gotta do this again.
And then not only do I have to rip it off, poke myself again, but now I gotta call the freaking company and tell them it didn't work so they can send me another one. And then now there's people online going on, but you can do it through your app. I'm like, I know you can do it through app. And then and, like, you know, to be you still gotta go through all that problem, and it is frustrating.
Yeah. And and and there's just
Absolutely is.
Yeah. And there's nothing worse than seeing your daughter or your child so sad and so scared and so upset and so worried. And I think she's worried she's going to die. Like, she will not wake up in the morning
or she will die. From you? I
don't think so because I'm not I've never ever been like, oh, this is this is that. Like, she'll have a trouble.
You just told me you're afraid that if you mess up, she's gonna die.
Well, that's me, but I've never put that on her. Like, when I'm around her, she'll be like, I'm a mom. I don't feel good. I'm having a lot. I'm like, that's alright.
Just sit down. We'll poke your finger. Let's get a juice. Let's figure it out. You know?
Like, a
beer a coffee. You're you're you're Hawaii Amy, one on one yourself. Yeah.
Okay.
You're like, oh, it's gonna be fine. We'll meet a handsome boy. We'll stay in Hawaii forever. Yeah. Yeah.
I right there.
But I think, like, in the back of my head is like, even as an RN, if I was working, I'd be like, okay. I gotta do the five rights here because if I mess up this medication, like, that's that. Like, so it's it's a general, this actually could happen. Am I losing sleep about potentially killing her? That's not the reason I'm losing sleep.
You know? I'm just I always.
Up down. Up down.
In the beginning, I couldn't sleep, and I don't think my body has gotten past that you need to be awake in case something happens. But during the day, I'm not like Can I tell check and follow every ten seconds?
Tell you what really happens is they get older and they become a bigger pain in the ass.
You come you come
less worried. You you come less worried about whether or not people die or not. You're like, you know what? I've had enough of all of you. So That's you're
oh, man. That's so crazy. Like
oh, yeah. No. Like, you know, obviously, I I don't want anybody to die. But but
I be same.
Rockets Overhead — Getting Used to It50:20
But but, you know, like, I'll use it. I can just use yesterday as example. Arden finished her last her last final. It's her you know, she's got, like, three more classes left, and she graduates. Her boyfriend's graduating now.
All of her friends are graduating now. So they went to a they went to a house party yesterday, and and she lost her signal. I'm gonna guess she put her phone down. Right? Like and but she didn't have a signal for hours.
And I have to tell you, I never worried about it once. Yeah. And then and then and then she got her signal back, and her blood sugar was too high, obviously, because she was probably snacking and and whatever else she was doing and not getting insulin from her automated system. And then it came back online. I gave her insulin.
She went down. And I'll tell you right now that five hours later, she got low. And then she drank a juice, and it was all fine. And I never worried about it once. I think there's Amy, give me a second.
I think that that the time that I've been doing this like, I can now see how eight years ago, someone with type one, an adult, would have listened to me and been like, this guy he doesn't have the whole picture yet. And they would have been right. And I don't have the whole picture now, but I have a lot more of it than I did eight years ago as an example. And eight years ago, I would have sounded like you. I've been like, oh my god.
The signal went by. This thing doesn't work. You gotta do this. Like, it's gonna be a problem. She's gonna die.
How's the algorithm not gonna know what to do? Is she gonna get too much insulin? And I would but you know what? Then I meet a ton of adults who have type one diabetes, and they all have something in common. They're they've been through it enough that they don't they don't flinch anymore.
They're like they're like people who live in a war zone. When Yeah. Like like, if you shot a rocket over my head right now, I would probably die. Like, I would probably, like, short circuit fall over and and explode myself. But there are places in the world where rockets fly over people's heads all the time, and I've seen videos.
They don't even flinch.
Oh my goodness. Yeah.
They're just like, this is what happens here, and you get used to it. And I think that that's a it's a bombastic example, but I'm telling you, I think maybe it's not when it comes to diabetes. Like because you feel like you're gonna die. You feel like she's gonna die. Something terrible is gonna happen.
But if you live through it long enough and have enough experiences, I don't think that feeling I think that feeling goes away to some degree. Yeah.
I yeah.
You know what mean? Now for her or somebody who's that anxious, maybe it's not gonna be that way for her. But for you, it could be because I I I genuinely wasn't worried yesterday.
Yeah. That's good. No. I do feel like I've improved. Like, the first twelve months was awful.
I would say the last, you know, six months, I've kind of felt like today is, you know, this is the worst thing that could ever happen to us. We had such a good life. Like, this is like, there's so much has changed. This sucks. It couldn't get any worse.
And then I'll wake up the next day, and I'll be like, you know what? She's not in a wheelchair. Like, she has you know, she could be stuck in a hospital bed. She could have terminal cancer. Like, every you know, she's fine.
She's gonna get on a pump one day. Her numbers will be more stabilized. Her kidneys won't fail because she potentially already has a precursor to a problem that could be exacerbated by the diabetes. Like, all that stuff's going to be fine. We're not even two years in.
We have to still find our rhythm. You know, she's a kid. She's 12. She's going through puberty. That's gonna change a lot of things day to day.
You know, I don't restrict her food because she's already had so much taken away that I'm like, eat a doughnut. I don't care. We'll just give you insulin for it. Like, she's not I'm not strict in that way. Yeah.
Amy, worry And then
worry is a waste of imagination is a is a phrase that I find really helpful because what you might not be wrong, by the way. Like, something something terrible might happen twenty five years from now. Okay?
Yeah.
But there's literally nothing you can do about it today.
True.
Right? Yeah. But, I mean, there's some basic things. Prebolish your meals. You know, make sure you understand the impact of your food.
Try to keep blood sugars from being wildly up and down, like, look for stability, try to get an a one c as low as you can that's, you know, comfortable in your life. It doesn't cause, like, problems. And then, I mean, I there's that old, like, country song. Right? I beg your pardon.
I never promised you a rose garden. Like, what did you think life was gonna be perfect? You you you know what I mean? Like so, like, there's gonna be problems along the way, and I guarantee that a a well rested, not out of her mind Amy does a better job in that moment than the one you are right now. You you know what I mean?
Like and so, like, I don't know that you're ever gonna be like, hey. The rockets are flying. I don't care. Keep playing. Like, I'm I'm outside playing badminton.
I'm not gonna slow down. Like, maybe you're never gonna be that person, and maybe you shouldn't be. I have no idea. But, like, I I don't I for everyone listening and for you, I would just tell you that as your experiences pile up, you should take stock of them and and try your hardest to not stay stuck where you are. Because right now, you're what I've heard you say we used to have we used to have a good life.
You must have said it four or five times already. Yeah. I would argue you still have a good life.
Fair. And that's fair. And and here's the thing. Like, in other parts of my life, I'm so easygoing. Like, I was a first time mom with a two month old baby who had to move to The UK for my husband's job.
I had to learn how to drive on the other side of the road with a I had to learn how to be a mom. My husband left to go to Brazil for work, like, a week or two after we moved there. So I was like, where's the grocery store? Like, you know, so there but I was like, whatever. We'll figure
that out.
You were you were like, So I can do
I got this.
So this is the
Texas, and a Cliffhanger56:12
One one month from now, we're moving to Texas for my husband's job. I've never had Texas in my, you know, in my vision.
Where in
Texas? Just West of Plano, he's working in his offices in Plano. So instead of Connecticut, we picked Texas because there's sunshine and warmth and, you know, whatever. I guess, you know, cheaper homes, and it's beautiful.
Amy, no no no, no, tax, state income tax either.
This is the other thing.
I didn't I didn't pick I didn't pick Tennessee by mistake, in case you're wondering. And so Connecticut
and New York were like, that's a double whammy, where if we go to Texas, we can, you know, save a few bills. So, you know, that's what we're gonna do. And I've had friends who have been like, I would have a toddler fit if my husband said we had to move to Texas. And I'm like, really? Well, whatever.
We've moved nine times, and I just do it, and it is fine. And everyone's like, how are you doing that? Like, I have
to just move. You translate this to that?
I don't know. Scott, if you could answer that question for me, we would both be so happy.
Well, can I give you the can I give you the advice?
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean This episode was too good to cut anything out of, but too long to make just one episode. So this is part one. Make sure you go find part two right now. It's gonna be the next episode in your feed.
I'd like to thank the blood glucose meter that my daughter carries, the Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at kontoornext.com/juicebox. And don't forget, you may be paying more through your insurance right now for the meter you have than you would pay for the contour next gen in cash. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to Contour and all of the sponsors. Something new just arrived from MiniMed.
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