#1897 Face Your Face
Face Your Face
Three siblings, all type 1. After her identical twin — also type 1 — died, she's learning to be a ‘me’ after a lifetime as a ‘we.’
Jump to a moment
- A rare in-womb condition, TAPS (twin anemia polycythemia sequence), left the identical twins with very different vascular systems — Cassie’s vessels wide, her sister’s narrow and stiff. Because type 1 is hard on the vascular system, her sister faced compounded complications. TAPS wasn’t formally recognized until 2007; the family only recently found answers.
- Three siblings have type 1 with no family history of diabetes. Identical twins sharing DNA explains two; a third is genuinely unusual. Screening programs like TrialNet can flag elevated type 1 risk in relatives.
- Let the people close to you learn your diabetes. Cassie spent years shielding her partner from the “mental load” — until a scary low showed her that keeping him in the dark was the real danger. Loved ones who know how to help are a safety net, not a burden.
- Access and education shape outcomes, not just effort: decades across the Humulin/Humalog era, an insurance gap at 18, and — for her brother — type 1 inside a correctional facility (twice-daily fixed doses, no carb ratio, no glucose gel allowed).
- Grief, and “being a me after a lifetime as a we.” Twin loss is uniquely isolating with few resources, and medical trauma often goes unseen. What helped Cassie: therapy, the basics (consistent meals, sleep, water, sun, movement), and choosing to accept the gifts of survival rather than run from them — doing it, finally, for herself.
- Twinless Twins Support Group International — support for people who have lost a twin (verify URL)
- TAPS Support Foundation — twin anemia polycythemia sequence awareness (verify URL)
- TrialNet — free type 1 risk screening for relatives (verify URL)
- Bold Beginnings Series — for the newly diagnosed, with Jenny Smith (verify slug)
- Diabetes Pro Tip Series — foundational management series (verify slug)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — community around type 1 (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast — all series and free resources
Every word of the conversation
Three Siblings, One Diagnosis0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of the Juice Box podcast. Welcome.
I have type one diabetes. My identical twin sister had type one diabetes, and my older brother has type one diabetes.
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Hi. My name is Cassie. I am here to talk about type one diabetes and siblings, address twin loss, and talk about a little bit of how twin to twin transfusion or taps can affect the vascular system and type one diabetics in the long run.
Cassie. Jeez. Becoming prepared.
I am prepared.
I feel like I'm gonna have to listen harder. Do people call you Cass?
Yeah. Some people do.
Do is those people people you like, or you prefer when people call you Cassie?
No. Cassie's fine. People close to me call me that.
Oh, well, not close to you. I can't do that.
You know what, Scott? I feel close to you, but unless I can do your podcast for a minute.
Oh, alright. Well, then if I slip into that, you you won't be offended. I appreciate that.
No. Not at all.
Let's start at the beginning. You have diabetes?
Yes. I have type one diabetes. My identical twin sister had type one diabetes, and my older brother has type one diabetes.
Wait. You are one of three children, all of whom have it?
Yes.
And do your parents have any autoimmune issues?
My mom has, like, hypothyroidism. My dad has arthritis, like rheumatoid arthritis. Mhmm. But we don't have any family history of diabetes.
Okay. No type one that you guys could find in the extended family? No. How about the brothers and sisters? Did you guys have anything other than type one?
So my sister, she had a slew of things. She had all kinds of mysterious illnesses along the way that took us a very long time to find answers to. My brother, he's pretty healthy. He's type one. Other than that, he's had a few complications with the type one, but overall, pretty healthy.
Okay. How old are you?
I'm 32.
32. Is your brother older or younger?
He's older. He's 35.
Losing Her Twin3:32
And then I guess I have to ask you, how long ago did your sister pass away?
So it's actually gonna be five years on Friday.
Oh my gosh. I'm sorry.
I know. It still feels like yesterday.
I was gonna say, is the difficulty got lessened at all, or what's it like knowing that it's coming up on Friday?
I would say the difficulty, it has lessened a little bit, but it still kinda feels like I'm right there. Still kind of in that same headspace, that same day five years ago. And every year, this time of year comes around, I start feeling a little off, and I'm like, what's wrong with me? Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, well, this makes sense because your body remembers.
Yeah. Hey. Are you were you guys identical twins or fraternal?
We're identical.
Can I ask a really difficult let me ask the difficult question in the first three minutes? Okay? And then we'll we'll get through this. Is what's it like to look into a casket and see somebody that looks just like you there?
So she was cremated.
Okay.
So I didn't particularly have that experience.
I feel like I'm glad
for you. Was with her when she passed.
Yeah.
And it was a strange moment because I knew. Like, I knew the exact moment she wasn't there anymore. I guess maybe, like, the equivalent to seeing her in a casket is maybe even just looking in the mirror Mhmm. And having other people, you know, telling you, oh, you look you look just like her. Seeing you, it reminds us of her.
It's it's a little bit of a tricky one.
Yeah. I was gonna say. Right? Because there are people that miss her that see you. Right?
Yes. And I'm still close with a lot of people who are close to her, her husband who took very, very good care of her along the way. We've been friends since high school, so he's still a pretty active member in my family. Mhmm. And then some of her friends, I'll catch here and there.
And then I come from a very large female dominant family. We're all very close, and they're a huge support system.
I'm glad. Yeah. Did she have children? No. Okay.
Do you find that when you're like, when people who miss her are in your presence, does it bring them comfort or sadness, you think?
I'm not sure. I would imagine it would probably make them a little uneasy because I feel like it would make me a little uneasy.
I mean, yeah, I feel there's an entire conversation just in this part of your story right here. Is it a thing you think about much, or are you right now going, why is this guy who makes a diabetes podcast digging into my psyche?
No. I I think about it waking up in the morning. I think about it when I go to bed at night.
Yeah. I would imagine. Oh my gosh. Okay. Alright.
We're gonna get past this part, but I cannot guarantee we're not coming back to it. So are you diagnosed at what age? You?
Diagnosed at Three, in the Humalog Era6:35
I was diagnosed at three and a half. Oh. My sister was diagnosed at three.
You were six months after. Apart. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm.
And and your brother before or after you guys?
Quite a bit after. He was 12 years old. We would have been about nine.
Okay. You were not so maybe three years after you were diagnosed?
Six years.
No. Say I'm sorry. You were you I'm sorry. You said you were three when you were diagnosed?
Yes. I was three and a half. My brother was 12. Would have made my sister and I about nine or 10 when he was diagnosed.
Gotcha. I'm sorry. I I lost one of the steps in the math equation there
for a minute. That's okay.
I really did. I was like, what happened? Why did I get so confused? My gosh. So your mom raised two, three year olds with type one.
How long ago?
So we were diagnosed in '97. So this is before Lantus and right in the era that Humalog was approved. So we're talking about, like, the Humulin n, Humulin r era Yeah. Of insulin.
Thirty years ago, maybe?
Yeah. Yeah. Just about thirty years.
Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay.
Did she look crazy by the time you were in high school? Did you look at her and, like, think like that lady needs to go for a walk and sit on a beach, or how did she manage it?
A 100%. I have no idea how she managed it. You know, in one of your podcasts a little while back, I think it was Behind the Cheese, you were saying how you think you could sneak in and change a pod out on your daughter without her noticing. Mhmm. And there was a lot of that.
There was a lot of sneaking into the room at night and poking fingers, checking blood sugar levels, trying not to wake one of us because if one of us woke, the other would wake. So I can't even imagine she pretty much did it on her own.
Oh, what a great title for an episode, Behind the Cheese. Is that where they kept the insulin?
Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Think that was an older episode. I just listened to it, though, and really enjoyed it.
Honestly, it's one of my skills picking the title. But I have so few marketable skills.
That's a good one. I
Cassie, I just the other day thought to myself, I have to keep this podcast going. I don't know what else I'm qualified to do. I'm too I'm I'm too young to retire, and I'm too abjectly unqualified to do anything else.
Well, the community needs you, so you're gonna have to keep the podcast going for the rest of us.
You're very nice. Thank you. It is really my
Sorry to not give you a choice.
Oh, I don't I don't mind, actually. I I would like to. It's just the fear of how it's I don't wanna I'm not gonna go down this road, but, like, you know, my thing is is held up by a social media structure that is just, I don't know, nebulous. It's hard it it's hard to understand how it works. It's hard to understand when it's gonna shift.
And it just it feels like I don't know. I I really don't know how to put it. It just feels like I'm cruising along on a nice calm ocean. And somebody said to me, we can just keep doing this forever or maybe a, you know, a tidal wave will come and just knock you over and you'll be gone. And you won't see it coming and that'll be the end of it.
And then that that beautiful boat you had, we're we're not getting that again. Like, that's the that's the anxiety I live with around around this work, but that's not the point. The point is is that I'm unqualified to do anything else. So you're Well,
I'm sure the I'm sorry to interrupt
You're not interrupting me. You're a good conversationalist, and I'm not used to that this early in the episode. So go ahead.
I'm sure the uncertainty of that is pretty scary That's all I was gonna say.
Thank you. It really is. I don't wanna complain because, you know, people take holes for a living and things like that, and it it's unseemly. But I do worry about it. So your mom is raising two little girls with type one.
Your brother is probably just off on the side going, man, I dodged one here, didn't I? And then it hits him. So when it gets to him, what's your remembrance of him being diagnosed?
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A Diagnosis in the Mountains12:31
So, actually, I remember a lot because we were in a pretty precarious situation because we were camping out in the Blue Ridge Mountains
Yeah.
When he started showing symptoms, you know, being thirsty and using the bathroom a lot. Because of my sister, my mom was able to identify the signs pretty early. So I didn't go into DKA yet diagnosis. My brother did, but mainly from lack of resources from where, like, we were at. Yeah.
So we were so far away from a hospital. I think it took us maybe three or four hours to get them into a hospital. Oh, came on a hospital.
Yeah. Okay.
And then we were in a hospital that had maybe a 100 rooms in it. It was very tiny in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, gosh. Blue Ridge Mountains, is that Tennessee?
I think that's Virginia.
Virginia? Okay. Once I move south Virginia. Cassie, once I move south, I'll know all this. Don't you worry.
I'll blend right in. At the moment, I live in the North. I have no idea what I'm talking about. So you're up in the mountains. You get to there.
He's already in DKA.
I'm not completely sure. I think so. He was showing the symptoms and the signs. Sorry. Excuse me.
You're fine. He looked I remember him looking very pale and almost a little gray, and he was very agitated. And who could blame him? He felt so awful. And then there was, like, a lot of drama around the campsite with my cousins, and they're bickering.
And he was bickering with people. He didn't feel good. And then it just kind of, like, dawned on my mom. Like, oh, shit. This is what's happening.
I've seen this before.
Have you spoken to her since as an adult? Was she waiting for the other shoe to drop once the first two got it?
I think I think she probably was. I know there's some kind of testing you can do to see if there's what is it? Like, the gene or
Yeah. There's it's like
Something like that.
There's a number of places that do it at this point. I think JDRF does a trial net. There's a bunch places you can get tested to see if it's likely that you could possibly get it.
Yeah. And they've been doing that with his with his children. I think, like, with the two of us having it, it was almost a never pro, like, being identical twins. Our DNA is identical. So that makes sense.
Having a third child in the family, that's a little unique.
Oh, it is.
It just means that Jean must have been extremely strong.
How old's your mom?
Along the line. She is 63.
How would she be on a podcast?
I think she'd probably be pretty good.
Yeah. I I think I might be interested in talking to your mom Monday. That's a that's a pretty a pretty unique situation. Right? Like
I'll let her know.
Yeah. Please. And if then there's no pressure, obviously. But okay. Okay.
So would you consider growing up, the three of you with type one, was it manic? Was it insane, or was it so part of the of life that it didn't feel different or odd?
Trading Insulin From the Couch Cushions15:31
It was manic. Definitely a little insane, but I think that was almost normal for us because we were also adapted to it. And I remember, like, running around and trying to dig insulin out of, like, couch cushions and stuff because we were all trading insulin vials based on who needed what at the time, and stuff would go missing. And then somebody needed their Lantus or someone needed their Humalog and didn't have it. And they're going to the fridge and taking somebody else's prescription.
And it just got really wild for a while there.
Weird question. A lot of times, I'll talk to people where the siblings who don't have type one feel left out. Left out is the wrong word. They feel probably like they're like they're they're sibling with type one is getting more attention. But when you all have it, does that feeling still exist?
Like, if you if I said to you right now, your mom's favorite was do have an answer?
I would say my sister. K. They were just very close and seemed to function a lot on, like, the same wavelength. I think that probably that feeling still existed for him just outside of the fact that he had twin sisters. Mhmm.
So there probably was a part of that that was a little isolating. That may not have anything to do with the diabetes itself.
Do you think your sister thought you or your brother was the favorite?
Maybe. I was, like, a little bit more introverted than my siblings.
Okay.
Like, hung out in my room a lot by myself. And so she was just always a little more social than me. And my brother, he's pretty he's pretty introverted as well, but he's also pretty close with my with my mom. They have their issues, of course, but she might say my brother.
Yeah. Ain't that funny? I wonder what your brother would say.
I know. I'm curious. I should ask him sometime. I
just think it's it's incredibly interesting because we we've when the conversation happens, the idea is, well, because that one has type one, this one feels like you're paying more attention to them because of their type one. I'm gonna tell you, I just think this is how kids feel. And you need a you need a thing to call the reason when you when you say, well, mom's nicer to that one or this one or whatever. Like, or dad does this instead of that one. Dad's I I guarantee you if you pull both my kids in here right now, put one of them in a soundproof booth, ask the first one, you know, do mom and dad have a favor?
They're gonna say yes. It's not true. Yeah. They're gonna say, do you get treated differently than the other one? They're gonna say yes.
It's not true. And, yeah, vice versa. They're both gonna think it was the other one. Fascinating. So I don't know.
I didn't feel like that growing up. But I had
all Yeah. We
I don't know.
Had the conversation actually not that long ago, my mom and I did, around, like, favorite kids. And she was telling me, like, you know, the favorite kid thing doesn't really exist, but there is a certain level of, like, compatibility and interest with some of your kids that maybe you don't have with other kids.
You know, like, your personalities match more.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's a little more that than actually having a favorite. They're still appreciating the differences, but the compatibility kinda makes a difference.
Yeah. Yeah. Both of my kids are a pain in the ass and really fantastic, so I don't even I wouldn't even know how to judge them that way. I'm sure they think the same on me. Probably like he's a pain in the ass.
Okay. So pumps, trading insulin, general craziness. How about health and outcomes? Is there goals back then? I mean, in the fur let's cut it into the first ten years.
The first ten years, is it just about staying alive, or are you trying to hit numbers?
I think it's more just trying to stay alive. My sister and I did not go on to a pump until we were a bit older when technology was a little more advanced. I think maybe we were 18. My brother to this day is not on an insulin pump. He still does multiple daily injections.
Mhmm. He has the CGM. But the first ten years, I think, were a lot of survival because I think trying to have the standard of keeping three type one diabetic children on your own in perfect control is just impossible. It's impossible with one child, let alone three.
No. I can't even I can't even imagine the the the the letdown you must feel in yourself as a parent when you look over and one of the kids has a blood sugar. You're like, okay. That's what I was shooting for, then the other one doesn't. And you probably feel like, oh, I let that one down.
And then you start doing the the thing in your head about the health and long term outcomes. And I don't your mom must have been out of her mind. I would've I might have been too. You know what I mean?
Yeah. I think I definitely would be because I have enough trouble, like, managing my own. I can't imagine having that kind of responsibility for somebody else's
Yeah.
Life, let alone your own, like, child.
For sure.
And then having multiple children, I just can't imagine how difficult it was. And it just it makes me realize how much of, like, a Wonder Woman she is.
Yeah. No kidding. Right? Well, do you have kids now?
Why She Hid It From Her Partner21:11
I don't.
Married?
I do have a partner. Yes. He I kept him very uninvolved for quite a while because I didn't want it to be a burden for him or anything he had to worry about.
Yeah.
Let me tell you, I don't think that's the way to go.
You should've let him in sooner?
Yeah. I think your partner definitely needs to have a certain amount of education around your diabetes because we've been in a few situations in the past where it was a little like, what do I do? Because I never taught him because I was so committed to not making it his problem. We've been together for nine years, so he's definitely learned a lot. That was probably, like, the first five years.
He's definitely starting to learn, and he does help me when I'm really, really burnt out or overwhelmed, you know, changing your pod at three in the morning or a sensor fail when you're out swimming. Or he does help me in those really stressful situations.
Well, I mean, imagine being in a in in a an emergent situation, you and your partner, and you're trying to help them. You don't have any idea of how to do that, and they're not able to tell you. But that must be a a feeling of lost and out of control that that's unmatched, honestly. Right? Like like if somebody yells, does anybody know CPR?
And you're the only one there, and you're like, nope. I don't. Sorry. You you know, and then somebody's standing there choking in front of you. Oh, my gosh.
So tell me a little more about why you kept it from him for a while. You you I mean, was it about I want this guy to like me, or I don't want him to feel like I'm a burden? Like, can you put words to any of that?
Yeah. It was really just I didn't want him to have to take on the mental load. It's, you know, the every hour, every minute disease. That's a lot to put on somebody else. And I was very committed to making sure that that wasn't going to be his problem or his worry or his issue.
And it really wasn't until the first scary low blood sugar where he didn't know, do I give her carbs? Do I give her insulin? That I was like, okay. So, actually, this is dangerous to our relationship, and it's time to do some educating.
Yeah.
So then we've really taken a different approach in the last five years, and he's learned a lot. Luckily, I'm pretty I'm pretty stable. Both my brother and sister are awfully brittle. I've never been in DKA. I've never had a low blood sugar seizure.
I've been very fortunate. Mhmm. So I kind of just thought I could keep pushing on that way, and there wouldn't be any problems. Do you do you have fooling myself.
You foolish. Yeah. You you you're not dodging this one forever. Like, you have to I don't know. I'm a proponent of just the people around you should know how to help you.
And not just a little bit, but really understand to their best of their ability. And I also don't have type one. I don't know what I'm talking about, really. Like, I'm just, you know, talking from an academic space. But, yeah, I mean, you do not wanna be in a situation one day where you really need help and the people around you who really wanna help you don't know how.
I mean, imagine if you if something dire happened and those people are now left with the idea that, oh, I was there and I couldn't I couldn't help. Yeah. It's it's I don't know. There's a lot to it, honestly. You should think everybody's gotta think of throwing their own and decide what they think.
But also, sometimes people have others around them that are not excited to help or maybe even good candidates to help, which can happen as well. But what I wanna understand is three different people, three same household growing up, you gotta make it through no Lantus at first, eventually get into pumps, insulin getting better, all that stuff. But the three of your cares probably don't end up blossoming the same way. Right? That's where it becomes pretty, I would guess specific to your personality, your drive, and your desire.
So how would you characterize your personal care versus your sisters versus your brothers?
So that actually kinda takes me into, a few things I kinda wanted to address, which, as you know, type one diabetes is not a, like, same situation for every type one diabetic. It's completely different in each person, and not one case is ever gonna be the same. And that even applies to, like, my sister and I as identical twins. You would think we would have similar scenarios, situations that our whole process would be similar, but it just wasn't. It was very different for both of us.
And I think that kind of goes back to, our birth, actually, because at the time, it wasn't a diagnosis, but we had something called TAPs, which is twin anemia polycythemic sequence. Big words. Wow.
TAPS: An Unequal Start26:04
I don't know what that means at all. Go ahead, please.
Yeah. Yeah. So pretty much what it means is that while we're being developed in the womb, our shared blood vessels became unequal. Where hers were much smaller than mine, and I was getting too much blood being polycythemic, and she wasn't getting enough being anemic.
Okay.
So your blood vessels in those situations as you're developing, they develop that way. So her blood vessels were developed small, narrow, and stiff. And as you know, type one diabetes is really hard on your vascular system. So she really just had double the challenges that maybe I did with more open and I almost had a safeguard in my in my vessels from scar tissue.
Because wait. So you had more than you needed, and she had less than she needed, basically?
Yeah. So it just, like, developed unequal
Yeah.
Where I was just getting too much blood, and it was thick like syrup, and she was just very anemic. What's the impact happens in twins.
It happens in twins. Don't let me stop you. It happens in twins.
So in '93, when we were born, haps they didn't know about haps until 2007, but they knew about twin to twin transfusion syndrome, which is kind of similar, but it's more acute. Big vessels transfer fluid and blood from one twin to the other, but it happens pretty rapidly. Where TAPS is more chronic, it happens early on, and it goes on throughout the pregnancy, and you develop that way. Mhmm. So they thought at the time that we might have had the twin to twin transfusion.
We didn't meet all the criteria, so we were never formally diagnosed. And then later, when they discovered taps, we met each criteria for the taps.
Jeez. And is there anything that they were able to do for either of you?
So I was very sick. My blood was too thick. It's really hard on your heart and your lungs. So immediately, I was my heart stopped pretty quick. They did.
A little CPR came back very quickly, and they put me on a ventilator. They tried traditional medications to help with my lung product like, getting my lungs to function, and that didn't work. And they pretty much were like, you know, it's in God's hands at this point. But they tried an experimental treatment for the lungs, and that did work. So I was on the ventilator, I think, for about six days.
They didn't move or touch me for the first two weeks because when they would touch me, my blood pressure would skyrocket, which is dangerous when you have thick blood. They were still doing the blood transfusions.
Oh, wow. So You just laid there?
Yeah. Yep. For about two weeks, and then they fed me for the first time, I think, at at that two week period.
Gosh.
What So for the
Can I I'm gonna stop you for half a second? You and your mom ever talk about this as adults?
We actually just recently did. Some of this is rather new, information that just wasn't out there in '93.
Yeah.
They're still kind of figuring out long term effects on pap's babies and the, like, lifelong effects that that has on on someone.
Mhmm. Brain injury, stuff like that can come. Right?
Yes. Is it So slow processing time. They're finding there's a link with caps to ADHD and organ. You can have issues with your organs, especially in the anemic twin
k.
Who had the lack of oxygen in their blood
Right.
Can cause long term deafness. There's there's a few long term issues. We didn't present with all of those, but it definitely structurally rebuilt our vascular systems very different.
Her Sister's Harder Road30:55
And then describe to me if you can, growing up through life, the issues that your sister had, any that you might have had.
So we were both diagnosed with hypothyroidism when we were, like, nine. We were pretty young. And then just anytime my sister got sick, she got very sick. And we'd both get sick at the same time. I would bounce back much quicker.
I just overall had a stronger immune system.
Mhmm.
And then into her teenage years, there were just these body aches and flare ups, and she'd get a virus, and it would be almost deadly to her as viruses are with type ones. They're scary. But everything affected her much heavier than it affected my brother and I. And that going into our early twenties, stuff started to get really kinda scary for her with her her blood vessels. She just had very poor circulation, which that combined with type one diabetes is a scary combo.
Yeah. Yeah.
She had sepsis three times. She had three strokes. She just really went through the ringer.
Three strokes from just the the limited blood flow, and do do do they know why?
One of them was from a clot, like, a scab. So she had a fall, and she hit her head and damaged some of the vessels. I guess they scab over. That scab can release and then cause a clot in the brain.
Jeez.
So I think that was her third stroke was from that. And I'm not completely sure what the first two what the first two were from.
Mhmm. In that time, into your early twenties, what would you say your diabetes outcomes were like? Do you know what your a one c's were or what you know, how you treated your blood sugars? Can you talk about that a little bit?
Yeah. So by the time well, our teenage years were a disaster. You know? You're going to high school and you are getting out of high school, and you wanna do what your friends are doing. You wanna eat what your friends are eating.
You don't wanna pull out syringes at the dinner table or when you're hanging out and you know? So our a one c's were garbage as teenagers. Into our early twenties was when we both were on insulin pumps and things got drastically better. I think my a one c was a 7.5, and hers was about a seven. So they were they were pretty decently controlled at the time.
On the pumps?
On the pumps.
You have any idea what a number would have been prior to that during garbage time?
Oh, 11.
Okay.
Yeah. They were garbage.
What? You were shooting were you regular on Miles per hour at that point? Did you go regular on Miles per hour to pumping?
No. We went from regular Miles hour. We did Lantus and Humalog, and then went on the pump about eighteen.
Okay. So even during Lantus and Humalog, what were you doing? Shooting the Lantus, but not shooting for meals all the time?
It was actually kinda the opposite Okay. Where the thing we would forget the most was the Lantus. And then we were in those kind of situations where somebody was out of Lantus and needed it, and we couldn't get it. And somebody had to, like, go to an ER or trying to get ahold of an endo in the middle of the night to see where we can find a twenty four hour pharmacy to get a prescription.
Cassie, is that is that a financial issue or just not somebody not handling ordering supplies correctly?
I think it's a bit of both. So my parents owned their own business. We didn't fall into the same kind of, like, medical insurance where you're on it until you're 26. So then at 18, I don't think any of us had medical coverage at 18. So there's a lot of programs out there where you could get a month's worth of insulin for $60 or but with three of us and my mom trying to find all these programs that can make it affordable until we could figure out, our next best step, which I don't know the nuances of it all.
No. Would you describe for me what the financial situation in the house? Would you have called yourself poor, working class, middle class, upper middle class? What do you what were you?
Middle class. I I would say, you know, I don't not so sure the classes really exist anymore. But
No. There's just two now. Yeah. But go ahead.
There was a lot of times where it was, like, money was doing really well. Mhmm. And then there were times where money was doing really bad.
Little feast investment kind of thing going on. Like, the business would do great. We'd do a little better. We're going on vacation. Everybody's eating, that kind of stuff, and then it goes the other way?
Yeah. Exactly.
What kind of business? Like, not the name of it, but, like, what kind of work?
They do, like, audits and pre OSHA inspections for, like, construction sites and schools, that kind of thing.
Okay. And do do your parents oh, your dad's alive still or your mom? I know your mom is.
Yeah. They're both alive. I'm pretty estranged, like, from my from my dad. We don't have much of a a relationship just from stuff growing up. But they still own the business together and run the business together.
My brother's also working there.
They're married still?
Wanna work with family. No. They're not.
They're not married. They run the business together. Yeah. Wow. That must be fun.
Oh, yeah. A lot of fun.
You you you But and now listen. I can't imagine that if you're estranged from your father, I can't imagine your mom is okay with your dad. Is that right?
I think she sticks around for my brother.
Her Brother's Addiction, and Prison Diabetes37:23
For your brother. And there's a part about your brother that we haven't talked about yet. Right? Is he he has he struggled in other ways?
Yeah. He struggled with addiction for quite a few years. He'd have these time periods where he'd be clean for six years, like, in between, and you kinda get that feeling like, okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Mhmm.
Like, everything's okay now. And then his last stint of addiction, he did end up going into a correctional facility. He was charged for drug trafficking and possession of drugs, and his care in there was just it was just awful.
Yeah. I've only interviewed a couple of people who have been in prison with type one, but it doesn't seem like it's set up for success. That's for sure.
No. They checked his blood sugar twice a day, 7AM, 04:30 in the afternoon. They'd give him insulin before they knew what he was gonna be eating. So there was no carb ratio put into place. They were still doing Humulin and Humulin r, which everybody knows is very old school.
It might keep you alive. It's not gonna prevent complications. And he developed retinopathy, neuropathy. He had five or six different low blood sugar seizures.
Yes.
He had to provide his own low blood sugar treatment from his commissary.
Oh, they didn't they didn't see that as medication?
Apparently not because they wouldn't give him glucose gel because of the high sugar content. They were afraid people were gonna use it to make alcohol.
Oh, I guess there is a different set of concerns in prison. Am I so your parents are running this business to give your brother a place to work and to help themselves financially. Is that right?
I think they started it together, and they both just love it. Like, it's their baby.
I see.
They both grew it from the ground up. It's been what they raised us doing and what they bought their house doing. And I think it just meant so much to both of them
They wanna lose it.
That neither one of them could walk away. But now that my brother is so heavily invested in the business, I think my mom's a little hesitant to walk away as long as he's still there.
It's providing stability for him.
Yeah. A support system, I suppose. Mhmm. Hard question. It's tricky.
Yeah. Yeah. Hard question for you. Okay? Your sister's really sick most of her life.
She's a lot I mean, a lot of issues and passes away. You all three have type one. Your brother had addiction issues. Do do you have any idea what was it the stress of all that that broke your parents up, or do you think it was something else or a mixture?
I think it could be a combination, but I think a lot of the issues were going on before the the diet.
Yeah. I didn't mean that they were the Brady Bunch, then you guys got diabetes. That that's not what I was saying. But but I but you think is it a I don't know how to ask this. Like, do you think that the the thing hey.
There's no way for you to answer this question. I don't know why I'm asking you, but I'm gonna finish it now because I started. Their collection of issues without three kids with health issues, do you think they would have been okay?
No. I don't.
No. They were they were on their way about it.
Their outcome probably would have been about the same with us in the picture or us not in the picture. They were just other things going on that I think made their separation a little bit unavoidable.
Gotcha. I heard I heard what you said. I think I know. I'm not gonna guess out loud, I think I got it. Sorry.
No. That's okay.
No. I mean, I I grew up in a shaky household too, so I I'm sorry for you. My god.
I know. I'm trying to tiptoe because I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings.
Of course. No. You're doing a good job.
At the end of the day, you know what? This isn't really about them. This is about me sharing my story.
So Yeah. It's your life. You know? They were they made themselves characters, and the the kinds of characters that they were, they could've they could've made themselves different characters. You know?
We all could. We could all do that. Wow. Okay. So when you go to a pump and your a one c comes down to the sevens, do you and you're in your early twenties.
Are you in college? Are you working? Where are you at in your life?
Oh, I started the pump at 18, and, actually, they would not put me on the pump until my a one c was a seven. They said if I couldn't get my my shit together or under control, that a pump wasn't gonna make the difference. They wanted to see I could do the work first, which now makes absolutely no sense to me.
I come down on the side of that's wrong, but go ahead. Yeah.
But this was the older generation of endos, very scare tactic oriented, you know, would come in with a picture of, like, somebody with a missing foot or a a eye and be like, know, do you want this to happen to you? Mhmm. The old generation of endos were a little harsh. Glad that there's been a big shift in that and a big change, but I did I did the work. I really went to work with the multiple daily injections at 18 and got onto the pump, and it just made a world of of difference.
My sister very shortly went on to the pump right after me. So then we both were in pretty good condition with our diabetes at the time. I was in training to be an EMT. I was doing trades at the time. Mhmm.
Never felt like college was gonna be a good fit for for me because I struggled a bit in high school.
Mhmm.
So then I was like, you know what? Let's give trades a try. So that's what I was doing at the time. My sister was very sick at the time. She was working part time at a greenhouse.
She loved plants. She loved plants. She loved gardening. That was, like, her whole life, being in the sun. So that's kinda where we were Yeah.
About that point.
Getting Serious — and Every Pump There Is43:50
What made you serious about it? Like, why like, how could you if someone if you say, I'm gonna get a pump, and they go, no. You're not getting a pump until you lower your a one c by four points. What makes you what makes you do it? Like, how did you accomplish that?
You know what I mean? Like, something had to change in you that make you wanna do that. Right?
I think I was moving out of I was kinda moving a little bit more into adulthood, and everything gets more serious. And they're like, oh, this isn't, like, a game anymore. Like, it's hard to be afraid of long term complications because you're not seeing them in the moment. Mhmm. But I just got so tired of feeling bad.
Okay.
And feeling bad became so normal. And then I was struggling to go to my classes, and I was struggling to do the physical part of my trades with lifting people and things like that. And I was like, I'm just kinda I don't wanna feel like this forever. And it just made me get a little more serious about it.
Yeah. I guess I don't wanna be trod, but you were sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Yeah. Exactly.
That's where that saying comes from. Okay. And so you buckled down, did what they made you do, got the pump, life got better, etcetera, so on?
Yeah. My diabetes has been pretty well controlled, like, since moving to a pump, and, man, have I tried all the pumps. I'm on the Omnipod now. Love it. It's been my favorite.
My a one my last a one c was a 6.5.
Good for you.
It's never been under a seven with any other
You're on me pumps. You're on the pod five?
Yeah.
Have you gotten the update yet for the 100 target?
I did, and I just did the update yesterday. Oh. And then I wasn't quite sure what to do from there.
Set your target to 100.
Okay. I was just like, does it just do it automatically? And then Hello.
It's thing. Thing. Are you doing it? Are you doing it, thing? No.
Go into
your go into your settings
and make your target 100. Why doesn't the thing know, Cassie? I mean, come on.
No. I told you. I'm challenged with technology.
I mean You you Cassie, had something happen when we were setting up. Let me tell them real quick. So when I'm trying to figure out like, sometimes people you know, it's very nice to people to come on here and do that do this, but, like, I don't exactly attract a crowd of people who are always making podcasts and stuff. So they cobble together, you know, microphones or headphones or whatever. And when I'm trying to see if they've properly turned their mic on that they're wearing or is, like, you know, their laptop mic being used, I'll often say cover the microphone with your hand because Cassie's voice was really dim and low.
And she covers the microphone with her hand, and her and her voice gets louder. And I'm like, wait. What what's happening? And she's like, I'm challenged. But but, no, seriously, like, yeah, move your do you know where your target is now?
Yeah. I think my target is One the one yeah.
Okay. Make it a 100. I'm I hear from people who are using it that it's a it's a it's not just the target that they changed. Some other stuff got changed too, And people are seeing a real difference, so give it a whirl.
I'm definitely going to. I was, like, trying to gather notes for for today so I didn't come in here and talk about, you know, my own stuff and sound like an idiot talking about my own stuff. And I was like, that seems like tomorrow's issue.
Isn't it? Isn't it hilarious?
Do that tomorrow.
You say to somebody, like, what's your basal rate? They go, I I don't know. I'm like, well, if you don't know, who knows? Right. Yeah.
No. But seriously, I would also, let me say, not medical advice. I'm just saying I would move it if I was you. And while we're dropping in disclaimers and links, omnipod.com/juicebox to learn more about the Omnipod five. Please support the sponsors.
Links in the show notes. Links @juiceboxpodcast.com. Okay. Now, Cassie, we'll move forward. Yeah.
Part of the thing we talked about earlier, I have to I will I will say this. I don't I'm gonna use the word hate for a second. I don't hate that there are great companies that support the podcast. That that's fantastic. I wish that it wasn't part of my life to have to remind you all that if you don't use those links, if you don't download the show, if you blah blah blah, then I can't keep it going.
And it because it sounds like crap. I know it does. Like, I because I've heard people who make YouTube videos, podcasts, etcetera, they say the same thing. When they're saying it, my knee jerk reaction is, oh, shut up. Like, leave me alone.
Like, that's not gonna make your podcast fault. It will. Like, it absolutely will. But it's a hard thing to hear from a listener position, I think, because I don't have a good reaction to it. And yet I find myself saying it, which is I don't know if that's an oxymoron or not, but I feel like a moron when I'm doing it.
I can tell you that much. Okay. So we'll get your we'll get your goal down your target down to 100 and the Omnipod five. You said on the other pumps, were never able to get under a seven?
Yeah. I would say the closest I got was exactly a seven, and that was with the t slim. And I really thought for a while that technology couldn't get better than the t slim IQ control closed loop system Mhmm. Because it was so life changing to me. I went on the the t slim after I was on the Medtronic, you know, with the Guardian sensor.
Yeah.
I hated the Medtronic.
You did it all. I
did. I started on Animus, and then went to Medtronic, then went to the t slim, and then I tried that new pump, the the bionic pancreas Did you really? On that.
The beta the islet?
The islet, and that tanked my timing range. I went from 80% down to 55% on that one with
the six that for? Six months.
I gave it a year. A year? But after a year, I just, like, finally told my endo, like, I can't I can't do this. Like, it's not working. And he was able to write to my insurance to be like, yeah.
The warranty thing. Like
Yeah. We'd like to switch back, please. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, they're not sponsored, so I'm okay with that.
No. I mean, I'm just joking. I I think sorry. No. Don't be sorry.
I think that first of all, I think that all of the of the pumps that are are represented here on the podcast by by ads, they weren't they weren't just taken because they weren't interested in making ads. I think they're all very good pumps, and and I believe they do a good job for people. I do wonder just Yeah.
Finding the one that works for you.
Yeah. What works for you I would also guess too that your knowledge of diabetes has gotten better over time. Like, I would Yeah. I hope so. Yeah.
Right? Like, so have you been listening to podcast for long?
I started listening to your podcast, god, probably about a year ago. It hasn't been been crazy long. I know you've been doing this for a while.
Mhmm.
I listened to one not that long ago. That was from 2018.
Oh, I've been doing this for twelve years. The this, I guess, started
in long time.
2015. Did it start in 2015? Yeah. In January. But my point being, is it possible that over like, watch.
How long you've been using Omnipod five?
I've been on the Omnipod five for only about eight months, I think.
Is there an argument to be made that the podcast is the reason you're doing better? I don't wanna take anything from Omnipod. But is
The Podcast as a Support System51:42
there No. I I do think that because not only did I keep hearing people talk about the Omnipod five, I found people who learned how to use the Omnipod five through your podcast.
Okay.
And then I one of my best friends is also a type one diabetic. She lives in Florida, and she's been on the Omnipod for years. And for so many years, she kept telling me to do it, but I was so attached to my t slim.
Mhmm.
It was like, nothing's gonna get better than the t slim. And then finally, I gave it a go and was like, this is the best pump I've been on. I've been on them all.
Awesome. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say something I don't have any idea if I'm right about or not. But I bet you if today Cassie wore the t slim pump, she'd have a six and a half a one c. And I bet you if today Cassie went and wore the seven eighty g from Medtronic or is it MiniMed or Medtronic? I mean, you guys you got.
If you go wear the MiniMed seven eighty g, I bet you'd have a six and a half a one c. I bet you're just better at it now. I would also argue that people who listen with some consistency stay stay engaged with their diabetes without feeling focused on it. That's the that's how I hear back from a lot of adults. When I listen, I just do better.
I couldn't possibly tell you why. But I also don't find myself thinking about it more. I find myself thinking about it less, but doing more. I don't know if any of that, like, resonates with you. But
No. It it does. I think in the last year, something that I was always a little bit, like, you know, it's not that important was pre bolus. Like, I used to always kind of bolus be like, oh, yeah. I'm gonna eat in, like, three minutes, and I would bolus then.
And now I really make sure to take the time to do it twenty minutes or fifteen minutes ahead of time, and it it really just made a world of difference.
Yeah. And that's from the the podcast.
Yeah.
Alright. I don't wanna break Omnipod's heart, but, obviously, I'm the one that fixed this.
Clearly. Scott gets the credit here.
I mean, really, it was me. I get you. Also, now I realize when people say that I'm direct and that they find my confidence unsettling, I now know what they're talking about. But I don't see it I don't see it that way. What I see is that, like, very simply put, I've, in the past, tried to lose weight by myself, and I've tried to lose weight with support.
And with support, it goes better. And I've also tried to lose weight with support and assistance from technology, and what do you know? That even works better. So my point is that the podcast is a support system for you.
And it's Absolutely.
And you get dribs and drabs of information or ideas or concepts. You start applying them without even maybe believing even knowing that you are so much so that when a year later comes and you say, hey. What's going on? Why is your a one c a six and a go, let's say, Omnipod five. And and I'm telling you that I think those algorithms are all great.
Metronicdiabetes.com/juiceboxtandem oh, wait. Metronicdie yeah. And tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox omnipod.com. Just like That they're all they go find the one do. Go find the one you like the best, but know how to use it.
That's where the real success is gonna come from.
You gotta be honest about the Guardian, though. The Guardian sense
Oh, that old center.
Yeah. Well, there's a reason they got rid of it. They they don't make that anymore, do they?
It was pretty awful. I don't know. I, like, I don't know why they had so quick and never looked back.
No. So yeah. I mean, listen. I think I believe that the CEO of the company was on here and said that we called it the and when I said people call it the harpoon, she was like, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But I don't think anybody's saying otherwise. I will tell you you've never heard the harpoon? No. Okay.
Cassie, I would also tell you this. And I mean this, and I've been saying this for years. Anybody can look back and hear me say this because I'd make fun of Metronic because the thing was a harpoon. But they went first, and you gotta respect that. They made a CGM.
You know what I mean? And Mhmm. The insertion process was not great. And even the usability, you know, where you're, like, having to, what, you had to always put in the blood sugar and stuff like, it's not great. But it got everything going.
And now here we are, what, three plus Libre, g seven fifteen day, the Simplera Sync is the one that Medtronic has now and the other they have another one too. Right? Medtronic actually has two options now. The Instinct sensor, it's a fifteen day sensor. It's Simplera Sync that works with the MiniMed seven eighty g.
And now Eversense has their implantable CGM. Like, you know, respected Medtronic for going first. You don't first to the door is the one that gets shot. You ever heard that one? So
So I think, like, the closed loop system is really what changed the game. The closed loop system really, I think, is what came in, like, made life so much so much easier. Sure. I don't know much about the implant or if the implant works with the closed loop system yet. I like the idea of the implant.
It does scare me a little bit.
But you're But you're intrigued?
Of it. But I'm intrigued by it. Yeah. I definitely wanna learn more about that, and I have a little bit. I've also learned a little more into I've heard a lot about the twist.
Yeah. Twist Twist loop.
Months ago, I didn't know anything about.
And you love jumping around bombs, so it won't be long for you.
I know. I don't know. I'm pretty committed now. I love not having a tube.
I I listen. I I think that tubeless is a great option. A lot of people really like it. It's not a you know, but there is other companies making other stuff. You're gonna see a lot of things happen.
Also, I don't wanna seem like a show, but twist.com/juicebox has two eyes.
I walked you right into it. Oh, thank you, Cassie. I appreciate it. But I think
You want the same thing nice about Dexcom, US Med? Or the contour next gen?
You know, I've always wanted to try the fifteen day Dexcom. I haven't tried that
yet. Dexcom.com/juicebox. You're so funny.
Yeah. I think .com/juicebox.
Oh my god. You but listen.
What else can I throw?
I'm trying to joke around here, but I hope those of you who listened to me earlier look into this. Like, this is what it takes to keep this going. Like so if you're like, hey. The podcast is great. It's a like, listen.
You know what I mean? Like, it's a it's a ton of work and it's a ton of, like you have just you just have no idea. Like, I know it's easy to, like, flip on YouTube and be like, oh, look at that guy. He's probably making money or whatever doing this thing. It's a slog, man.
I mean, it's not it's not I used to work in a sheet metal shop. I'll do this any day of the week. Okay? It's fine. But the pressure to keep it going and the orbit around it that supports it and makes it possible for me to, you know?
I mean, you you have no idea about my day yesterday, but I will just tell you that I had to I had to start editing the podcast yester this week on my own again. And I've been head down at my desk eighteen hours a day or twice five days in
How's your neck feeling?
It's not. I actually walked downstairs with my wife, and I was like, my back is so sore. Why is my back so sore? My back hasn't been sore forever. I started complaining.
I was like, since I've lost weight, my back hasn't hurt my back right now. She's like, you've been sitting in that room for four days. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. So it's just, you know, I don't get outside. I actually had a moment.
I did a thing for myself yesterday. I I spent a couple of hours in the morning doing something I had to be in my car for, And this it was beautiful. The sun was out, wasn't humid, and I was, like, out in the world at, like, 8AM, and I thought, I haven't been outside at 8AM in forever. Like, this is this is nice, you know. I was like, anyway, I'm we're not here to complain about my life.
My life's fine. Point being, support the sponsors. And the pumps nowadays are all pretty great, and I think the next step is your understanding of how to use insulin, how the food is impacting your system, how did you make changes to your settings when you need changes to your settings. That's pretty much it.
Yeah. Well, it's a lot. It's just so much to learn and but, you know, it it's amazing how quick things are changing.
Oh, yeah.
Just I feel like every day, I'm reading something and I'm like, oh, that's amazing. Like, I was just reading about what's his name? Alec Alexander the tennis player?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He won the US Open
the first yeah. He just became the first grand slam single title holder as a type one, like, breaking out there breaking records.
Yeah.
A lot of people on your podcast are out there doing really incredible things. Yeah. A few I was reading about or listening to, like, in the mountains, snowboarding, and just really out there doing incredible things that I'm not sure would be possible without a lot of the new technology.
Do you know a type one pilot's the space station, the International Space Station?
I did not know that.
Yep. She's been on here. She's very cool too. Her name's April. And, yeah.
Breaking records all over for type ones, and the technology really kinda makes that possible.
You watch baseball?
For us. I don't recently. I used to be really into baseball.
The, the closer for the Padres. Mason Miller? I think he throws, like, a 102 miles an hour or something like that. He's type one.
Yeah. Look at that. Like, just doing what other people can do. And I know there's some nuances to it with others who also have other autoimmune disorders. Yeah.
Makes it, you know, a little more
Challenging for some. Hey. Listen. My daughter's going to college with it. You
know? Yeah.
Her friend is in college. She has type one. They Arden has two friends in college with type one. And college isn't easy. And diabetes isn't easy and each makes the other thing more of a challenge and people are out there doing doesn't always have to be like I throw a baseball, you know, a 100 miles an hour or I, you know, I fly a space station.
I think it's, you know, a wide range of people who are out there just living life and doing a great job and, you know, trying to do better for themselves and while these technology companies are getting better. But your point about things getting better faster, I think that's incredibly exciting about around what kind of technology is gonna pop up. And and even so, the technology doesn't have to be the way we used to think about it, which is like, you know, you have to make a new thing. That's technology. Now the technology lives inside of the thing.
And that's much easier to update and improve and get out into people's hands. So I'm I'm expecting I'm expecting I'm expecting all the companies to keep going. Right? MiniMed, I think they're gonna make improvements to their thing. Twist, I would hope would bring out another version of the Twist loop, which I would imagine they're trying to do.
Omnipod six, I've already heard people talking about. Control IQ, they just got FDA approval for pregnancy. You know, on and on and on. That Senseonics, the Eversense CGM, the implantable CGM. You know, when it came out, it could be in for, I don't know, three months, then it was six months.
Now it's a year. Like, woo hoo. You know what I mean? Like, let's go. And that that stuff happened in much quicker much more quickly than I've ever seen in the past around diabetes technology.
Scared Straight: Living for Both of Them1:03:21
It's crazy to think where we're gonna be at in a year. I do kinda wish I could have seen how much this new technology would have impacted some of my sister's health issues. I know, like, her passing really kinda scared me straight as well. It was really like, okay. Major life changes need to happen.
How? What what what adjustments did you make?
I just started eating a very solid regular, like, diet. I stopped going through my weeks like, oh, what am I gonna eat for breakfast? I'm just figuring it out then. I started planning ahead of time my entire week of what I'm gonna eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner. I know exactly how many carbs I'm gonna get at those times throughout the week.
It keeps it consistent. It's helped me greatly. I've just started getting more physical exercise, getting out into the sun more, concentrating on the basics that people forget about, like diet, sleep, water, sunshine, that all make a major impact on our lives that we kinda push to the side. Like, oh, it's not that big a deal, but they're our baseline for functioning. And I quit I quit drinking soda, which I did only drink diet, but it's like, you know, I'll let myself here and there, but not every day like I used to.
Mhmm. And it just really got me into doctor's appointments more frequently and keeping an eye on things because there's always this baseline of, like, we're identical. What happened to her could happen to me. And things pop up where I'm like, she went through this, so it's happening. Yeah.
Like, it's starting to happen. I just had a real scary event with my with my kidneys where every time I get my kidney function checked, it's my worst fear to open it, and it'd be, you know, below that 60. And just recently, I kinda went through that, and I opened it, and it was 30 because I was on an antibiotic called Bactrim, which in some people can cause their kidneys not to filter protein or not protein, potassium. So then my potassium levels were really high, and they told me, like, go to the emergency room right now. And I was like, this is it.
It is it's happening. Like, this is how it started for her, and now it's happening to me.
Mhmm.
And this was just three weeks ago.
Cheers.
Within three days of coming off the medication, of coming off the Bactrim, my kidney function is completely normal again. All my levels were completely normal. It's just crazy. One time didn't
forget pause. You didn't forget the fear of it, though?
I didn't forget the fear, and the entire experience was a little triggering, and I would even say maybe a little traumatic. I think medical trauma goes a little unseen.
Oh, yeah. You start feeling like you're gonna Yeah.
Yeah. And there's just this constant reminder that I share an identical DNA with somebody that had a bad outcome. So it makes the everyday life a little bit different.
Can I tell you something that I found really encouraging about that little bit of your story? Is that I so often hear people say that they're doing things for other people, but I heard you say I'm doing this for me. And I thought that was awesome. Like, I really did. Like, I when you started talking, I was gonna ask you a question.
I was gonna say, do you think that you're doing it because you wanna be healthier, or you think you're doing it because your sister can't do it for herself anymore? But as you kept talking, I thought, no. Cassie's doing this for herself. Like, she's trying to pull her her stuff together. Good for you.
A little bit of both. Yeah. Because I feel the responsibility a little bit of living for for both of us. Mhmm. There is this whole trying to figure out how to be a me when I've been a we our entire life.
That's been very, very difficult. It's a very lonely process. It's a very unique situation to be in that there's not a lot of support for. Yeah. And nobody really understands unless you are an identical twin.
So now I have this strange tether where it's like half of me is wherever she is, and the other half is here. And that tether almost kept me stuck in one place for a little while. Still does a little bit. And now I'm kinda like, I have to do what she didn't get to do. I have to, like, live long enough and be healthy enough, not just for me, but for both of us.
Because moving forward as her other half, whatever I'm doing, she's doing.
Yeah. Death is an abstract until you experience a it's just a thing that you no one really I mean, we know we're going to die, but we don't think we're going to die. Do you know what I mean? Like, you do not walk around thinking like, oh, life's gonna end. And then someone's life ends, it it's impactful.
But when that person is your sister and looks just like you and shares, like you said, your DNA, boy, I'll I'm if this didn't do it to you, you called it scared straight. But if it didn't do it to you, then nothing was going to. Because, I mean, I can't Exactly. Oh, I can't imagine anything more impactful than this, honestly.
It has this strange bittersweet, like, thing to it where it's like, the worst possible thing that could have happened to me already happened.
Mhmm.
So it definitely pushes me forward with a little less fear and a little less anxiety on that aspect of it. There's also this aspect of getting to know myself in a way that I never had the opportunity to.
Yeah.
I never got to know myself as an individual, which
Interesting.
If I, you know, could go back and choose, I absolutely wouldn't. But that's been an interesting an interesting journey
Yeah.
Of really trying to get to know who I am as just me when it's always been us. And I miss it more than anything. I miss her more than anything. She was my best friend in the entire world. We shared so much.
When you grow up with someone the same age as you, literally from day one, you share the same kind of you learn empathy very young. You start to understand feelings very young as you're bouncing it kind of back and forth with somebody who's the closest person in the world to you.
Mhmm.
I don't know if the twin thing, like, really exists, but I know her and I definitely had a shared empathy where I could understand her and understand what she needed. We didn't always have to talk about it.
Yeah. I'm interested too in how you're able to accept the gifts that come from her passing without I don't know. I really don't know. Like, it's it's tough the gifts are coming from such a tragedy, but it would be easy to just, I don't know, not pick them up because it felt wrong to take them, but you're you're taking them, which to me says they're not being wasted because there are things you're getting out of of her not being here any longer. And instead of ignoring them because it's uncomfortable, you're you really are paying attention to them.
Therapy, Scott. Therapy? Gotcha.
Therapy helps a lot. But, yeah, it it does seem like a waste because it's, like, ignoring anything positive that could have come from that, I think, would be ignoring an entire part of her almost that was lost in all of this.
Cassie, you're you're in your thirties. You're in your thirties, Cassie. Let me put this into terms that people your age can understand. Black Widow gave her life so Hawkeye could go back to his family. He's got right?
Okay. He's gotta go do that now, or what she did is wasted.
Exactly.
Yeah. That's all. Everything see a Marvel movie. I fixed it for you with what was that? Endgame?
I don't remember exactly.
It was Endgame.
It wasn't? Oh my god. Apparently, I do remember, and I knew you would know because of your age, by the way. Those movies were so good. Not good like, you know, War and Peace good, but they were good.
They were good.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Any and, anyway, how much therapy did it take for you to accept that?
Denial, Therapy, and Starting to Face It1:12:03
So I spent quite a few years kind of in denial a little bit. Mhmm. Kind of in this state of disassociating where I was rather manic. I was drinking a lot. I was partying a lot.
I was going out and just kinda being crazy. And I was completely disassociating from the experience, and I was kind of not even thinking about therapy. And then I had a moment in I wanna say it was 2022. It was the summer of twenty twenty two where I kind of looked back at this trail of destruction I was causing from dissociating from what was really going on. Just people around me that I was hurting with my actions or my words without even realizing it because I wasn't fully here.
And it scare being that way scared me so much that I immediately got a therapist. I immediately got a psychiatrist. And at first, they thought I might have been bipolar or and it was really just trauma. It was really just disassociating from this experience that I couldn't even imagine beginning to deal with. And I honestly haven't started to until until maybe six months ago is when I've really been able to start talking about it and focusing on it in in my therapy and really starting to kind of accept where I'm at and the fact that she's not necessarily here with me.
She is, but she, you know, she isn't. Yeah. And I couldn't face that. For a lot of years, I couldn't face it.
I can't imagine, honestly. It it's the that you're having an incredibly unique experience. You know? Well
It's unique, and there's not a lot of there's not a lot of resources for it, which is why I felt that it was kind of important for me to find a platform.
Yeah. I was gonna say that's what led you here to do this. Right?
Yeah. To not only talk about the the diabetes and the health issues, but to bring a little of awareness to twin loss because it is complicated.
Well, I mean, I looked into taps a little bit while you were talking, and it I mean, it's not a thing that affects a lot of people. You you know what I mean? Like, so when when you're having something that unique happening to you, the support system around it is gonna be, I mean, shaky, you would imagine, you know? And then moving forward, living as a twin is not a thing that, you know, a lot of people, you know, have experience with losing a twin is even less so. Having medical issues prior to that, sharing the medical issues, some of the medical issues, you are in an incredibly unique situation.
You did a really good job for yourself getting out of this.
I've done the best I could. There's been the TAP stuff has been rather rather recent that explained a lot of unanswered questions.
Mhmm. Is it important to get those explanations?
You know, I I do think I'm gonna have some closure with it because for the last five years, we're kinda like, why did this happen? Like, why did her kidneys fail? Because they biopsied the kidneys and said it was not diabetes related. And they diagnosed her with lupus along the way. They never really thought that was what was causing the vascular issues, and they just never really figured out what was going on.
Ultimately, she got an infection, got sepsis from that infection, which sepsis has a forty percent mortality rate. So that's kind of what what happened there. And it was during COVID, so they weren't letting anyone into the hospital. There was two weeks, which is the longest we've ever gone without talking or seeing each other, where they weren't letting me in to the hospital to be with her. And then by the time I did, she was in a coma, and I never got a chance to talk to her.
But they pretty much told us there's there's nothing we can do, and you guys need to decide if you're gonna take her off life support or keep her, you know, in the state where she'll probably die anyways because nobody's gonna operate on her in the state she's in.
Saying Goodbye1:16:14
Or a situation.
It was a very unanimous decision between her husband, myself, and my mother. And I laid with her, and I held her when they took her off. And it sorry. It's the first
Oh, you're gonna
make me time I'm about this.
Starting to cry. Just keep going. You're fine.
And I felt the I felt the energy leave, and I knew. Yeah. I knew when she wasn't there anymore. And then there was this sense of guilt that I had for not only still being the one here, but why this happened to her and not me, and then looking at the caps and being the receiver, being the one that, like, took all of the blood and took all of the there was a certain amount of guilt that has come with that that I haven't quite worked through yet.
I have to tell you. When I was reading about the Taps, I thought whoever named these arms of this really wasn't thinking about the human side of it. Like, why would you why would you couch that this way? Do you know what I mean? Like, the receiver is Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I hear you.
I hate that word because multiple reasons. Growing up, my grandma was always like, you know, Cassie, since birth, you've always been the fatter twin. And things like that and it's true. All the way through our relationship, I've always, like, weighed more than her and whatnot, but it just stemmed from that. Like Yeah.
Stemmed from the difference in her size at birth and her health conditions along the way that there was nothing they could have done than any ways to have changed the outcome. What's also
even saying you. Like, right, like, you took, you were fatter, you were it's not like a conscience it's not like it's not like they came and found the zygote, and they're like, hey. Would one of you like to take and one of you, like, get taken from? And you were like, yeah. Me.
I'll do it. Like, you know what I mean? It's not really you. It's just the it it I don't know. It's got nothing to do with you.
It
it It doesn't. Yeah. Rationally and logically, I know that. I know I made no decisions in any of this and that none of it was my fault. Mhmm.
I think that one's just gonna take a little more a little more time, especially because I am just kind of recently starting to work through some of this. And it being just, you know, a couple days away, you kind of your body knows even if you don't.
Yeah. Like You're
kinda like, what's wrong with me right now? Why am I acting weird? Why am I so tired and depressed and whatnot? And then you're like, but it doesn't have anything to do with that. So it's like, there's still a part of me that can be in real denial about it all.
Yeah. You're not drinking anymore, are you?
No. Good for you. Occasionally, the weekends, but never more than one or two. And I'm looking into taking LDN, the low dose naltrexone for base level inflammation. So there's no drinking with that I mean is fine.
Like a perfect person to go to Hopkins and ask about that MDMA therapy.
I think I would be really about that.
Yeah. You would think that they'd be like, wait.
Let's just enjoy that.
What's that story? Yay. You're in. Let's go.
You have both. Make me feel happy? Okay.
I don't know. They say it just make makes your trauma melt away. I don't know. So I don't know if that's true or not, but it's what it's what everybody's saying. I can't thank you enough for sharing this with me.
I've I've struggled with what to call the episode. For a minute, I thought I wanted to call it tired of sick and tired, but I might call it trail of destruction. I don't know if I I'm not sure why.
It does feel that way.
Yeah. It's good. Well, you I that's a phrase you used, and and I thought, well, that might be right. But you're not on that trail anymore. Right?
You wouldn't think of yourself that way.
No. Not at all. I'm very hyper aware of myself and my actions and my words. It's just, you know, at some point, you do have to look back and realize the damage you caused and not run from it. But face it and face everything you're going through.
And, you know, your body does it to protect you, which it's like, thank you, but no thank you.
You know how I know But when the con you know how I know a conversation's going well? When you're speaking or the person I'm talking to is speaking, I have my thought. I'm like, oh, I wanna say this next, and then you say it instead. And that just happened. You I I thought, you gotta face your shit and I'll hold that thought.
Let her finish her thought and then I'll I'll chime in with that. And then you just said it instead. And so, yeah, maybe you just have to maybe that's the it. Maybe that's the title of this one. And I can't put shit in the title, though.
Face yourself? What do you think?
Well, you know, you did say that that's what you do best. So I'm gonna leave that to you.
See, why would that's horrible to do to me at the very I was giving you the chance to name this episode and just left me
I'll never come up with one better than behind the cheese.
I am a genius.
I hear genius title. I hear It pulled me right in.
I hear what you're saying. I am thrilled that you only found the podcast a year ago, and it feels so valuable and present to you that it doesn't feel like an old thing you found in a closet that still is fun but smells weird. And that that means a lot to me that the podcast is is is producing at a high level still this far into it. I'm gonna take that from this and a lot else, by the way. So thank you very much.
I guess we'll find out what it's called when it comes out. But if you'll hold on for just one second, I just need to tell you a couple things after we're done recording. But thank you.
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to bring awareness. And this was also pretty healing for me because I haven't talked about a lot of this, yet. So
I'm glad.
This was a very healing experience for me. So I appreciate you having me on and giving me the platform to do so.
Well, congratulations on facing your stuff. I think it is commendable and not a thing that everybody, can make happen all the time. So you you you took a huge step. Yeah. You're welcome.
You're you're saving your life, you know. Hold on one second.
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#1896 Mean as a Snake
Mean as a Snake
Diagnosed at 13, she took her CGM off one beach day and never put it back on. Three years later: fingersticks only, low-6s A1Cs, and fierce independence.
Jump to a moment
- Great numbers, no CGM. Diagnosed at 13 and three years in, Allie’s daughter manages entirely on multiple daily injections and 10–12 fingersticks a day (~400 strips/month), with A1Cs from high-5s to low-6s (her worst was 7.4). Good management doesn’t require any one piece of technology.
- The tradeoff of no CGM is the lows you can’t see coming. Allie’s main worry: without a sensor to “catch the fall,” her daughter often doesn’t treat until she feels a low (50s–60s) rather than heading it off in the 70s.
- Autonomy over pressure. After a beach “sensor break” became permanent, Allie chose not to force the CGM — fearing a fight would cost more than it gained. Instead she gives space, shares info in small pieces, and lets slow buy-in happen (her daughter has now agreed to try an Eversense 365 at night for college).
- Recognizing new-onset type 1: the tells were a sudden return to a giant water bottle (thirst) and repeated overnight bathroom trips. Her pharmacist mom confirmed it at home with a drugstore glucometer (blood sugar in the 300s) before heading to the ER.
- A practical MDI tool from the show: for a reliably low-carb school lunch, they use R (regular) insulin dosed as she leaves for school to cover the slow, steady rise across the day — one example of matching insulin type and timing to the meal.
- Bold Beginnings Series — for the newly diagnosed, with Jenny Smith (verify slug)
- Small Sips Series — short episodes Allie shares with her daughter (verify slug)
- Diabetes Pro Tip Series — foundational management series (verify slug)
- Eversense 365 CGM — the year-long implantable CGM she’s pursuing for college
- Touched by Type One — programs, annual conference, D-Box, Dancing for Diabetes
- Afrezza (inhaled insulin) — ultra-rapid inhaled insulin Allie is seeking approval for (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — community around type 1 (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast — all series and free resources
Every word of the conversation
Meet Allie0:00
Welcome back, friends, to another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
Hey. This is Allie, and I am the mom of a type one.
Nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're new to type one diabetes, begin with the bold beginnings series from the podcast. Don't take my word for it. Listen to what reviewers have said.
Bold beginnings is the best first step. I learned more in those episodes than anywhere else. This is when everything finally clicked. People say it takes the stress out of the early days and replaces it with clarity. They tell me this should come with the diagnosis packet that I got at hospital.
And after they listen, they recommend it to everyone who's struggling. It's straightforward, practical, and easy to listen to. Bold Beginnings gives you the basics in a way that actually makes sense. This episode is sponsored by the Tandem MOBI system, which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ plus technology. Tandem Mobi has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages two and up.
Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. The podcast is also sponsored today by my favorite diabetes organization, Touched by Type One. Please take a moment to learn more about them at touchedbytype1.org on Facebook and Instagram, touchedbytype1.org. Check out their many programs, their annual conference, awareness campaign, their d box program, dancing for diabetes. They have a dance program for local kids, a golf night, and so much more.
Touchedbytype1.org. You're looking to help or you wanna see people helping people with type one, you want touched by type1.org. I'd like
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Juice Box podcast and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every fourteen days, you want the Eversense CGM. Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. One year, one CGM.
Hey. This is Allie, and I am the mom of a type one.
Excellent. And, Allie, we're gonna stay a little vague today. We're not gonna say if your type one is a girl or a boy. Is that right?
But we can say she's a girl.
We can.
Because otherwise, I won't know how to refer to her.
Oh, I wouldn't either. So I would have just talked around it forever. The way I do when where was I this weekend? I was at a touch by type one event in Atlanta. And Elizabeth, is the founder, and she runs the whole thing with a bunch of great people.
But I think she saw me not know someone's name, and she looked she looked me in the face. And she knew I was talking around the person's name, and I thought, oh, I got caught. I am am not good with names. I wish I could tell a story right now, but a person I know a person will hear it. I don't want them to be offended.
But, like, I it's possible I've known you for years, and when I look you in the face, I just think, oh, there's that person. I have all the memories of our relationship. Mhmm. But I don't know your goddamn name. And and if somebody asked me about you in this scenario, I could probably tell ten, eleven heartwarming stories that I'm really attached to.
Bad with names. I I don't know what that's about exactly.
But It's okay. We all have to have a flaw.
Oh, but you think that's my only flaw?
No. I'll listen to the show.
Yeah. Yeah. It's a punch list. I got a punch list somewhere of things that need to get fixed. But I said to my wife the other day, I was like, look.
I'm 54. I think it's too late. I've done pretty well, like, myself out of the shit storm I was born into. I think I think I'm good now. I'm just gonna enjoy the rest of it.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't think I'm gonna murder anybody or anything like that. I think this is good. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna ride this part out. And my wife says to me, I swear to god, it's an emotional moment we were having together.
It's none of your business, right, we tell you more about it. And and and, by the way, that's from a guy who three weeks ago told an hour long story about bleeding from his ass. So I just maybe it maybe I will tell you. But we were talking about parenting. And, you know, and I don't know how many of you listening have children who are older, but one day, in case you're not aware of this now, they will figure out everything that's wrong with you and then tell you about it until you die.
So
I can't wait. It's super fun.
And it leads to a lot of conversations where we say things like, well, they're a problem. Or why did we do this? Or do you remember when we had money and used to have sex all the time? Why did we stop doing that? Never anyway, point being is that I I made this declaration about, like, I've done enough.
You know what I mean? Like, I've come pretty far out of the muck. I'm proud of myself. And she goes, you should never stop working on yourself. She wasn't talking to me.
She tried to be colloquial about it. Like, people should and I was like, fine. And I just looked back at her, I said, you're not perfect either, you know. Then we went upon our merry way. Okay.
Now what do we wanna know about you? How many kids in total do you have?
Two Kids, and the Fluff6:01
I have two kids. My daughter is 17. My son is 14.
Okay. And you married, or did you get rid of that man that you let be with you to make those babies?
He is still around.
Look at you. What a pinch you are. You don't know that word. Right. I can tell by your accent, but not the point.
That's very nice to
My accent's already showing.
Already showing? I mean, word one, it's out. You know what I mean? Like, I'm on my way to Florida now to Blake's sitting in the front yard with you or wherever it is you live that's similar to that. So and don't tell me.
Let it be a surprise. So, how long have been married?
This is our twenty first year.
Oh, congratulations. That's lovely. Thanks. Never been in jail? No battery?
Nothing like that?
Not yet.
Pretty great. Not yet. There is a smart answer from a person who's been married for two decades. By the way, for those of you online who say the podcast is full of too much fluff, this is the part where I make Ali comfortable because she's never been recorded before. And then you get online and go, it's so full of fluff.
Hey. Can I just say something to these people, Ali? And I don't know you yet, so this is fuck you people. Okay? Like, you come make a podcast about type one.
How about you're welcome? Just say thank you. Okay? You motherfuckers. Sorry.
I'm I'm so
Well, now I'm loosened up.
It's like five people, Allie. But, like, I just you know, like, hey. What if you step back one day and said, I have type one diabetes or my kid does? And there's this guy that sits down every day of his natural life for twelve years and has a conversation with somebody attached to type one diabetes so I can listen to it. Maybe I won't get online and say, I don't like the fluff part of the podcast.
You don't like the fluff. Make your own goddamn podcast. Leave me alone. Meanwhile, this is my last part. This is my last thought on this.
Ali's not used to being interviewed. Like, I bring you voices who don't have a megaphone. They need a minute to calm down before we start. I don't know how you don't see you have mental health issues. If you're online telling me that my thing anyway, you're all lovely.
Love please don't please don't unsubscribe. Just keep listen just leave me alone. That's all I wanna say. I already have a wife and a daughter. I don't need the rest of you.
Okay? That that's what I'm getting at. Okay. So this kid, how old is it when it's diagnosed? It how old is she when she's diagnosed?
The Autoimmune Family Tree8:23
So she's she was 13, almost 14.
Okay.
Right before her birthday.
So just maybe three years ago then? Right. Not
long. Well, four. Yeah.
Okay. Is there any other autoimmune in your family? Do you have hypothyroidism? I'm gonna say yes because you have a deeper voice, but just go ahead and tell me the truth.
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No. I so my family this is what my mom told her oncologist or the doctor that diagnosed her with ovarian cancer. She said, we are heart attack and stroke people. There's no way I can have cancer. All of my relatives just dropped dead.
Now my husband's family has some autoimmune. Oh. He has a first cousin that's a type one.
We found the person we can blame to alleviate our guilt. This is awesome.
Oh, it's definitely him.
Good for you. That's nice. Yeah. It probably really was lightning for you. Gotta call it wasn't me.
You by the way, your mom, we're heart attack and stroke people. I don't have cancer. Yeah. I'm gonna die of a heart attack. What are you even talking about?
Yeah. Yep.
She's she's still kicking with her ovarian cancer too.
Really? How old was she when she was diagnosed?
Let's see. She is 79 now, and this was probably six years ago.
Oh, wow. Can you hear the, type a people listening going, stop pivoting. Stick to the kid's diagnosis story. Again, make your own podcast. Okay?
I learned so much stuff from your podcast just from stuff that doesn't even have to do with what you're talking about. Yeah.
Well, those people who talk like that, they're boring, and they would make boring podcasts that nobody listened to. They just don't realize it about themselves. Go to therapy. Okay. Now so your daughter was diagnosed three years ago.
Your there is autoimmune on your husband's side. His would you say cousin has a type one?
Right.
Okay. Look at me remembering things. You his seriously, you have no idea how impressive that is. So his cousin has type one. There's other autoimmune stuff.
Does your husband have anything directly? A little celiac? Do you make the poopy after dinner or anything like that? What's going on there?
He definitely has something GI going on Mhmm. As does my son, but neither one have been diagnosed with anything.
What a lovely thing to pass down. So Right.
Yeah. He also has HS, the skin disorder. I know you've talked to other people about as hidradenitis suppurativa, which is not really considered all autoimmune, but it's auto inflammatory, and it's genetic, or it's hereditary.
Okay. Interesting.
Doctor Google Was Right12:56
So that was actually what my daughter, the year before she was diagnosed, started having those skin problems. And that's the
first Describe them for people. Okay.
So I took her to the dermatologist. She was having breakouts around her bikini line. Now she, you know, was 12 at that time. She had started shaving. The first two dermatologists I took her to told me it was just a rash from shaving Even though I had pictures of when they had erupted, and they were much worse.
Like, I have had razor burn before, and this was not razor burn.
I've been with a few ladies in my life. Razor burn looks very specific.
Right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And I'm not if you can see my kids' medical charts at their pediatrician, we never go to the doctor. I like, it has to be something pretty bad for me even to make an appointment. Mhmm. So the fact that I brought her in, you know, I knew it wasn't razor burn. I figured out what it was.
My husband was never diagnosed. I don't know if it was a thing that was diagnosed when he was growing up. It's a thing that happens a lot with hormones, and you get it during puberty. And, he had kinda grown out of it. But I figured out what it was just from doctor Google and went into the third dermatologist and told her my suspicions, and she agreed.
So then she was diagnosed at that time with HS.
I just wanna be clear. She was diagnosed when you figured it out.
Right.
You just got you just got a doctor to agree with you. That that's all that happened.
Yes. Yeah.
Contextually, that's important, by the way. Yeah. Because you you very well might have gone in there and gone, what do you think this is? And the third one might have gone, oh, that looks like razor burn. And and, know Great.
Yeah. You sometimes you know how you say don't lead people if you want their opinion, or lead them if you don't want their opinion. You know what I mean?
Right.
People are pretty malleable. So, well, that's good good for you, first of all. That's that's way to get after it. And isn't life unfair? Like, you know what I mean?
You're, like, you're born a little bit. You're like, there's the baby. Look. The baby's gonna probably grow up to be a princess or, you know, a baseball player. And we'll probably watch you know, he'll move out.
Sure. But I'll get to turn the TV on every night at 07:00 and watch him play. And then instead, you shave at twelve and find out you have a skin issue. Awesome.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That was different than what I thought. So, man, that's bullshit too. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. What do you do for that?
Is there anything to do for
So she has a very mild case. Thank goodness. Some people are put on the biologic injections that are immune suppressants
Mhmm.
Like Dupixent, you know, things that are also used for eczema that just suppress the immune response.
Just a bit. I wanna talk can I say, I'm sorry to take away from your time, which is funny after I've ranted and raved about 19 different things, but, I think this is what happened when you get me early in the morning? Oh. Yeah. I got a lot of energy right now.
It's not good for you.
You're well caffeinated. It's
good. Yeah. It's great for me. I haven't had anything yet this morning. Got up, took care of the dogs, took a little shower, came back to you.
I wanna talk to more people who are on those biologics to suppress immune stuff for other things. So if you're listening out there and you're taking something like that for anything at all, don't even care what it is. Like, reach out. I'd love to have more conversations about that. Sorry.
Okay. So it's you're managing that. It's going along fine. She's wanting to deal with it. That's all good?
Mhmm.
Okay. I did think it was a little bit strange because she's always been small. When you read about HS as a condition, you hear about overweight, hairy men mostly. And I kinda wrote it off because her dad has it, but that just still put some suspicion in my mind.
Hey. Just real quick. Is your husband an overweight, hairy man?
No. He's not either.
Oh, I think I wanna I
mean, he's pretty hairy, but he's not overweight.
Long time listeners know what I'm thinking right now. I would love to call this episode episode hairy man or something like that. I would also love to be able to say episode, but I was putting a lip balm on while I was trying to talk. Little trick of the trade there to keep the look the lip smacking from happening. Okay.
Alright. Well well, boy, that's something. Is that a thing that, like does it impact her life, do you think?
It did. She did have, a procedure on one of her places that kept erupting, but it was just like an outpatient. Not really a surgery, but they open it up, and it heals from the inside out.
Mhmm.
And since she had that done, it has been pretty good. So now when she feels something coming up, when it starts hurting, she'll start taking an antibiotic, and it usually goes away.
How how close are you with your daughter? Like, is it would she would she has she come to you and said, like, I'm getting older, be thinking of becoming intimate with people? Like like, is that a is that a roadblock for that?
I think it will be, but she is just now starting to show some interest in boys
Mhmm. Okay.
Which I feel like we've been pretty lucky with that. She's a senior.
It picks up quick, though, once it starts. Not really
Yes. I'm afraid of
with
her going to college next year.
Arden tells so many boys, no. Thank you. Not good enough. Blah blah blah. Now she found some handsome kitten.
Yeah. She she we were sitting around last night eating dinner, and then she's like, gotta go upstairs. She goes upstairs, comes back downstairs. It's, like, 10:00. She's like, I'm gonna go out.
And I'm like, okay. And I said, when do I expect you back? She goes, I'll be home by eleven tomorrow morning. And I went,
oh, okay. Oh.
And she's, 22. You know what I mean? So Yeah. But it's still you're it doesn't feel that way when you're looking at her. She looks like she's I in my mind, she's, like, 12.
You you know? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, there's something for you to look forward to crying about.
Great. Later. I can't wait. I can't wait again.
Getting excited. Oh, the boy's already older. Is it different for your son, do you think? You're like He's 14. Oh, he's the 14 year old.
No.
Never mind. Yeah.
Okay. I think I might have been thinking of my son. Yeah. You're not you you're not ready to have that I can't ask you that question. About the, like is it really like, I know it seems wrong, and it probably is wrong to judge people differently.
But is it different, like, you know, sending your son out into the world or your daughter out into the world, that kind of thing? But, anyway, we'll we'll skip past that.
Oh, yeah. I don't know.
Yeah. You
I hadn't gotten there with him yet, I guess.
You won't be happy about that, though. Yeah. He's just at the part now where he hides in his room, he's slightly mean. Right?
He's not mean yet. He's still sweet.
Oh.
But she's she's been mean as a snake for quite some time. They're just different personalities. I actually I I said
to Ardold, and was like, why are you being so mean to me? I'm like he's like, I'm not. I'm just explaining it to you. I'm like, oh my god. Oh, no.
Sounds like Kelly's grandmother where she was just like, I'm not being mean. I'm just telling people how it is. I'm like, no. It's mean. Anyway, she's lovely most of the time.
She said she said something the other day. She go she looks at my wife, and she goes, like, real serious. She goes, do you ever have times where just every man you look at, you just kinda wanna punch him in the face? And they're having this thoughtful conversation, and I was like, I was trying not to, like, say anything. You know?
And she's like, I don't know, like and Kelly's like, yeah. And she's like, I don't know what that is. And Kelly asks, like, even your boyfriend? She goes, yeah. I just told him about it the other day.
She's like, I just don't know what's happening. And I just went, I mean, it's hormonal. She hit me. And I was like, hey. What the heck?
So anyway, it's hormonal, in case you're wondering. I've been around a I'm long like that what's that lady that watched the monkeys? You know who I mean? Going out in the woods with the monkeys, and she paid really close attention to them her whole life, and she I'm that.
Jane Goodall?
Jane Goodall. Yeah. I'm the Jane Goodall of women. I just wanna say. I've been
Just watch them.
I've been paying real close attention. And, anyway, I know you don't take the monkey's food from them, and I know you're not supposed to say it's hormonal when they ask questions like that. But there I was, and I'm getting older. I don't really care anymore. So, anyway, what is the lead up to the diabetes?
What do you see? What happens? How do you get to it?
The Big Water Bottle21:26
Oh, so she plays basketball, and she had just finished her eighth grade season of basketball. And she has this great big water bottle that she takes, to school when she has practice after school. And so since the season was over and she was just coming home after school, we had changed back to her normal sized water bottle. And after a few weeks after the season was over, she asked for her big water bottle again. So that was clue number one.
My son at that point was 11. He would sometimes get scared at night, he would go sleep in her floor in her room. And he told me that she had stepped on him when she got up to pee at night. And so that was clue number two. Mhmm.
About a month after that, we went on spring break, and we were all staying in a hotel room. And the bathroom was right outside of where I was sleeping. And she would get up maybe three times a night to pee.
Oh, okay.
So that's when I told my husband while we were on vacation that I thought she probably had diabetes. He flipped out. He's not medical at all. I guess I didn't say that I'm a pharmacist. And so he responded with anger.
I think he was afraid. Yeah. You know, there was a whole thing, but we when we got home, I went to Walmart and bought a glucometer and tested her, and she was three hundred something. And I called my friend who's a nurse practitioner and said she's a pediatric nurse practitioner and just asked, what hospital, and do I need to pack a bag? Because I knew what was coming.
Yeah. Jeez.
And Well So yeah.
That sucks. I wanna jump forward a little bit to the reason that you put in your note about coming on. And, of course Mhmm. So that I can say again, Emma, I I think I do know now. I'm gonna call the episode me as a snake, I think.
So Appropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, you know, she'll never hear this, so it's fine.
True.
And it'll help other people, which is nice. Why don't you tell me a little all your note says is teenage rebellion and managing without technology. So, like, why don't you walk me through the the getting diagnosed and more of the mental, you know, side of how it impacted her and and how things move forward from there.
The Sensor Came Off at the Beach24:05
Okay. So that sounds like there was some big blow up, I guess, from what I wrote, but it's it's it was more like we eased into this. But so when she was diagnosed, I think we spent one night in the hospital. The educator came in the next morning and went over the basics, and then, there wasn't really a whole lot of education. I had a little bit from school, but that was a long time ago.
She went home with an Dexcom g six, NovoLog pens, and Levemir pens. And, Levemir was discontinued, so now we're doing Tresiba. Still doing NovoLog pens. The summer after she was diagnosed in April, we were at the beach. She asked me if she could take her sensor off while we were at the beach.
And without giving it much thought, because I know about finger sticks and how annoying that is, I thought, well, you know, this sure. You know, take a break. She'll be super annoyed with finger sticks. She'll go right back to her sensor. It never happened.
Did she not get months in. Did she not get annoyed with the finger sticks, or did she just not do them?
Three years later, we're still finger sticking. She's we go through probably 400 strips a month, I think, is what I get with our insurance. She probably tests 10 to 12 times a day.
Oh, cool. I mean, not you probably are mortified, but, like, I mean
I never thought for one second that, yes, I'm gonna let her do this, and she's gonna it's
It's gonna work out. You you you did that thing. You were like, oh, she'll see. And then the point will be made, and I won't have to even be the one to say it. Right?
Right. I should have known. Mhmm. I mean, she's been her own person since she was born. She's always been very independent, had her own thoughts about things.
She didn't care that that's the standard of care. She didn't care one bit. She liked the finger sticks and is still doing them.
Ten to Twelve Times a Day26:05
Is it working out? Like, it or her I mean. Never mind. I I took it from the I mean. Guess I don't think probably don't need the whole story.
It's not working out. Is that what you're
I mean, she's very responsible. She always doses. She, the worst a one c she's had since diagnosis was a 7.4. She's usually high fives to low sixes.
Okay. Well, she's doing well. But But you think she's
having more lows than I would like.
Yeah.
Because you can't you you just can't you know, we went from having the data every five minutes to having, what, 12 readings a day. I'd
Well, be serious about it for a second, though. Like, let's not joke around for a second. It is I get I get it. Right? Like, let's try to, like, thoughtfully look into the other side of it.
So you have the CGM. You always have context for what's happening. You can get ahead of things. Even if you don't get ahead of it, you can kinda track how bad it's going while you're fixing it. Right?
Like, there's a a level of comfort there at the very least. And she's probably having lower a one c's, you think, though, because she's low sometimes, and we're not doing anything about it. She's staying low too long?
She treats her lows, but, you know, you can catch the fall with a CGM, and that's you'd
Yeah.
You know, she doesn't catch it until she feels it sometimes.
Mhmm.
And, you know, so she ends up being in the, you know, sixties treating, sometimes fifties versus you know, we were treating in the seventies when she had the CGM. So you just don't see it coming.
When you had the conversations that I'm I'm assuming you've had with her before and they end with her yelling at you, what's the process, and what does she explain to you that she is it I don't care or I like it better this way? What's her perspective?
Two Friends Know27:56
It's just her personal preference. And she also doesn't like people to know that she's diabetic. So she has two friends that know. So it's not well known at school, and I think that has a lot to do with when she like, at what age she was diagnosed.
Mhmm.
You know, if she was diagnosed in elementary school, everybody would have had to have known.
And it would be too much she could have
end of middle school, you know, going into high school, it was kind of, you know, you have to consider their ugh. They have to be part of the decision making process even though they're they still have monkey brains.
You know? These kids, they think they know something, and then they talk. And if you ignore them, the state comes for you. It's tough. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. We do you is she in her, like, a side of diabetes life? Is she super private?
Yes. I would say so.
Is it vanity?
Maybe. Although, I think it's more she doesn't wanna be judged by that. She doesn't want any kind of sympathy or to be treated any differently. You know, when you're a teen, especially girls, it's all about conformity. Like, they all wanna dress alike, look alike.
I'm gonna
ask not like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Understand that. Know how to do it. Like, can I ask a question that some people are gonna judge me for, but I'm just I only have it?
Okay? Is she super pretty, or is she weird and awkward? What's the reason she doesn't want people seeing the stuff on her?
I think it's just insecurity.
Insecurity. Okay. And
And I I think that comes from so this is a little background about the elementary school we go to. About 10% of that school goes to a certain middle and high school, and the other 90% go to a different one. So we're in the 10% because of where we live. So after, you know, fifth grade, she had to make all new friends. Well, the first year of middle school, they go out for COVID.
So she had made, like, one or two good friends, and then it it was weird for a couple of years.
Yeah.
So she really has just a very small friend group, and she's not social. She's not very social.
Is she antisocial or
just the weirdo.
You're like you're like, listen. She's gonna shoot people in a ball. I was it that level? No. You didn't mean that.
You meant, like, she's just not, an out and about person.
Well, I mean, she's on the basketball team. She's on the golf team. She's an honor graduate. I mean, it makes her sound like she's, you know, a strange child, but she really is not that weird. But just very private and just doesn't want she's never wanted to draw attention to herself.
Mean as a snake, but not that weird. What a love letter. What a love letter. I'll let you say nice stuff about her at the end. Don't worry.
If she first of all, we know she's never gonna hear this. And secondly and by the way, for those of you who are like, yes, she will. I'm like, we we trust me. It's not gonna happen. We've taken steps.
And so but is she I mean, is she like like, how do you talk about her? Like, forget this whole diabetes story for a second. Like, if she didn't have diabetes, do you think this kind of stuff would be happening around other things in her life where she'd kinda be close to the vest, wouldn't let a bunch of people in, or do you think she's doing this just because of the type one?
I think it's a combination of the whole social COVID thing
Yeah.
And the HS and the diabetes.
It's like a stew that just leads you in this direction, really. What do you do about that or for oh, listen. I wanna say something. The other day, I was talking to somebody about some mental health stuff on the podcast, and I I just I have the same feeling every time I talk about not mental health, but human problems in general. Like, you either know they're happening or don't.
You kinda can diagnose them. They're hard to change. People don't wanna hear about, you know, where they're falling short or could be acting differently even. It's not a thing. I'm completely convinced at this point.
People change when they change, if they change. That's it. Like, you cannot force somebody to do something.
People Change When They Change32:20
Mhmm.
At all about anything ever. It's probably a waste of your goddamn time to even think about it. Like like so pointing out to like, you know, for a million years, you could point out to her, like, hey. You know, your life would probably be easier with a CGM.
Right.
She's not she's gonna say I don't care. Mhmm. You're gonna hear I don't care as she doesn't care about her health, which is not what she's saying. Right? And then it's just and then you're gonna feel nervous about it.
You're always gonna be on the edge. You're gonna have this feeling between the two of you where she's gonna know that she's you're disappointed in her for not doing a thing that she doesn't wanna do. And she's gonna judge you for treating her that way. And my point is, is if my wife and I just would not have had these kids, I think we'd have a second house. In a warm weather location.
You could be at
the beach right now.
Son of a bitch. But also, without them, I don't even know if I'd care. So you know what I mean? Like, this I think Mhmm. This is life.
And fighting against it is not valuable. I really Right. I'm not like a hippie dippie person, but, like, I think you just have to give people space. Let them be who they are, and let them know you love them. Mhmm.
Say your peace, and then back out slowly.
Right.
Right? And then maybe they figure it out one day.
Well, she's always been a very just deal with it kind of person. It is what it is. We're just gonna deal with it. And she, I mean, she completely manages. I haven't helped since probably the first year.
You know? And she always doses. She always checks. I can't really complain. I just I do, every once in a while, just put the bug in her ear that, you know, it's not really a one c.
It's time and range.
Wear It at Night for College34:14
Mhmm.
And we don't really have an accurate picture of your time and range because we have these pinpoint times throughout the day. We don't have the full data. You know, I just I want her at some point in the future to I'm actually trying to get her approved for the Eversense three sixty five right now because she told me she would do that and at least wear it at night so when she's at college.
Oh, that's that's a nice piece of progress. That's what I'm talking about, by the way. Marathon, not a sprint. You use whatever metaphor. Makes you comfortable.
Right. You you know, like, that's really fantastic. Hey. When you tell her all that, does she pause and go, dad's right. You're a pain in the ass?
Or, like
Every time.
Yeah. And then do you go, oh, I can't believe he says that about me buying my back, or do you go, no. This all checks
out. Yes. Definitely.
I like everyone's I guess Good.
A little bit, I guess, that I had some fear about her rebelling if I did make her wear the CGM.
Mhmm. I think you're smart.
Well, I could totally see her just turning me off and not letting me follow.
Oh, not only that. I listen. If you wanna get into my mindset, I have a daughter, and, and she's been on the podcast before. You've all heard her. So Yeah.
I my brain would say this. If I force her to do this thing, I jump right ahead to she's on heroin and she has three kids, and she lives on a just despite me. Do you know what I mean? Like, I I know that's not what but that's how far my I'm just like, oh, this is just gonna spin out of control. And that I actually believe about personal relationships.
You can Mhmm. You can live in a in a imperfect relationship that gets better, but you can't push a relationship outside of that cell. I actually am thinking about a human cell. Like, once you push it through that membrane, you're on the other side of it. You can't get back in again sometimes.
Right. Or it takes forever, and it's never the same again. So I'd rather this is obviously from the voice of a kid from a divorced family. But, like, I would rather everything not be perfect till we can find better than to push hard. No one's gonna bend anyway, and then everybody's at odds forever.
Right.
Yeah. I think you're doing the right thing.
Well, I don't know. We'll see. I'm also trying to get her approved for Afrezza, which I've I did all this stuff last year, but she was she's getting ready to turn 18
Mhmm.
In ten days. So they our insurance denied the Eversense and the Afrezza last year because she wasn't 18 yet. So I'm gonna go through all that again because I would I would like to for her to have those tools before she goes to college.
Yeah. I think that year. It's tough too because when you ask somebody to do something, if they're not ready to do it or they don't want to do it, but they know you're letting them down, you that they know or they feel like this decision is letting you down. Right? Now they feel bad for not wanting to do it.
They feel bad for not doing it, and then they feel bad for how it's making you feel. And then they probably feel bad for feeling bad and what it's done to your relationship. People are wired very strangely. You know what I mean? You would feel that way if if she was a friend of yours, but instead, you're her mom, so you're just worried about her health and her safety.
Right? You probably don't have any other thoughts except long term health, short term health. These are these are your concerns. Right?
Right.
Yeah. It's a weird mix. I don't know.
But I also want her to be good mentally, and I
You're not sure that she is?
Well, she is because she's not wearing the CGM. I think that it was very taxing for her to have all that data. I loved it. I'm the type a. Like, I had everything charted.
We would write down everything she ate and what happened, and she's just not like that. She just
She more like her big fat hairy dad? I know he's none of those things, but
yeah. Yes. Yes. They are a lot alike.
So his response to, I think, our daughter has type one diabetes is her response to, hey. You should wear a CGM?
Pretty much.
Awesome. Is your is your son just like like you?
He is. How does
all this happen? Isn't it weird?
I don't know. It's so weird. He's very laid back and very just easy to get along with.
Mhmm. I know you like him the best. That's fine. I understand.
They're so different. It's crazy. I know why came out that way.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got home the other day. I was gone for a few days.
I got home, and everyone was in like, it was the end of the weekend mood. You know, the Sunday afternoon, this wasn't a long enough break everybody kind of was feeling. You know what I mean? Mhmm. And I kinda stepped into it, but I had, like, a ton of excitement for my trip and, like, good energy.
And I was like, oh, I'm not fitting in in the space. And then and then I I tried to share something I was excited about, and I didn't I got a lot I got pushed back from from a lot of angles except for Kelly. Kelly was nice about it. But the kids were I'm talking about, like, changing something, and I think it's scaring the kids. Mhmm.
Right? And not scaring them, like, you know, like, they think that clown's gonna come out of the sewer kinda scared. But, like, it's just it's just uncomfortable for them. And so they're kinda they were pushing back with, like, their, like, oh, yeah. But what about?
And I was like, well, yeah. But what about this? Like, where we should just look or, you know, like, let's know better. And you realize, like, you're trying to, like, you're trying to make a point with fifty years of experience to somebody who maybe has five years of experience being adult, and they're not really adults. They're just like like I said to my wife the other night, I was like, do remember when we were Arden's age?
We were we were on our own. Like, we owned we had an apartment. We owned cars. You you know what mean? Like, we had jobs.
Like like, we were, like, we were we were hustling. Like, it was a different time. They're, like, finishing up school or talking about going to grad school or just starting out with work if they're lucky. You know? And their level but they still based on the age, they're like, I'm an adult.
Like, Arna said the other day Pat, I hope she never hears this. She had a she had a Dexcom, like, went funky. It got the gooseneck thing when you pop it in and the wire comes out of the top. Yeah. And so she had to pop it off and put on another one.
And I said, hey. Listen. You know, we can't afford to throw that away. You have to call in and and get that replaced because she told me six months ago that she's an adult. She can take care of herself.
So I said I put it on the counter, and I was like, hey. You just need to call Dexcom real quick. Tell them what happened, and they'll send you a new one. I mean, that was four weeks ago. And so, it's still sitting on the counter, but now I think it's a situation where I think she realizes it's been too long and I and I don't know why whether she's forgotten about it or she really believes I'll get to it, but she's also in college and she's got you know, she's young, she's got a boyfriend, all that stuff.
And, and all I can think is every time I walk past the box, I think, well, don't call it in because she's an adult and she wants to take care of it herself. But I'm also the one that paid for it, so I'd like very much if the replacement came soon. And so now I'm just weighing the amount of time I have to wait until she won't care. And again, my wife and I just used to, like, you know, have sex and, like, laugh and watch movies, and then we were like, we should have a kid. And now I'm staring at a Dexcom box wondering what the appropriate amount of time is to call this in.
Because let me just be clear, and I if she does hear this one day, she's never gonna fucking do that. Like, never, never, never, never. In a million years, this isn't gonna happen right now. I do I think she'd be an adult who would take care of it if it was five years now? I think in a in a millisecond.
But to your point earlier, she's in college. She's got friends. Those friends are like, their lives are changing. She's got a boyfriend. She's got her, you know, desires for herself and, you know, she's you know, what she wants and what she's doing, what she's not doing.
She's feeling like she probably feels like she lets herself down every day. She's out there hustling trying not for that to be the case. She probably feels like she's letting us down. I think it's so crazy how people always feel like that. Like, instead of just looking at the things that are going really well, you measure the things that aren't going well.
Don't do that. I only measure the stuff that's going.
The Box on the Counter40:12
Just freaking everything else.
Yeah. I'm like, hey. Listen. That wasn't perfect, but you just see what I did over here. So I mean, because I don't imagine I can be perfect.
So Mhmm. Like, why not like, anyway, you can't there's another thing you can't talk a person into doing. Right. You know? So Right.
Anyway. I'm anyway, so my life is spent, like, looking at that box going, like, what's the right amount of time to make this call? Ridiculous. I'm an adult. I have a bank account.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. You know why she has the bank account? Because I made her open up a bank account.
That's the only money that's in that bank account is from the one job she's had so far, which I can say now because it won't be out for a while, but was, like, making social media for Omnipod. Like, she doesn't even work. Like, I guess she's, you know, she and she's like, I'm an adult. I'm like, you're an adult. You'd be dead in twenty minutes without me.
What are you talking about? You're an adult.
Their own money, I don't think it changes until it's their their own money.
She's an adult like my wife wouldn't be broke if I wasn't here defending our cash. You know what I mean? My wife would be homeless without me. She'd be like, don't know where the money went. I'm like, I know where it went.
Shoes. It's in the closet. Go get it. Sell it to somebody. You'll get it back again.
But but seriously, also, let me I'm gonna say this because I think I'd like to lead this into your part of the conversation too. I'm being genuinely serious here. Beautiful, thoughtful, lovely, intelligent person. Fantastic. I love my daughter.
Is awesome. She is growing every day and becoming a more and more complete person every day. If if she heard me say anything like this, she'd think I don't understand her at all. But I would tell her she doesn't understand that she's in the middle of a process. She always thinks she's at the end of the process.
That's the thing about being young. Like, is you always think, oh my god. This is the best version of me ever. I know more stuff right now than I ever have. You don't realize you're just in the middle of it still.
Mhmm. You know? Mhmm. It's hard to hear.
I still did a lot of stupid things in my twenties.
Yeah. Of course. Are you kidding me? I had a baby twice. I was obviously an idiot.
I listen. I gave I've given you all the best advice in the world. I told you to pre bolus. Told you to get your base alright. I told you to understand the impact of fat on your blood sugars.
I told you not to get a dog. I told you not to get married, and I told you not to have kids. I have kids, dogs, and I've been married for thirty years. I'm an idiot too. If I knew what I oh my god.
I'd be by myself in the woods. I just want you to know, happy is a clam. What do think of that? Oh.
That'd be great.
How do they measure clams happiness, by the way? That's ridiculous. By the way Not
sure how we got here.
I gotta tell you something. For those of you who don't enjoy this part of me, I feel like I am flowing right now. Like, this is what I feel like my podcast should be like all the time. Oh my god. I'm like the Tim Dillon of diabetes.
And if nobody understands that reference, I'm like the Howard Stern of diabetes. And if you're too young for that one, don't know what to tell you. But I really feel like I'm doing great right now. And I don't use drugs. And I think that's impressive.
Oh my god. Alright. So what do you think?
Me a little bit of how we describe mental illness, as, like, diary of the mouth or, like, a word salad.
I don't know.
Sometimes.
I have, there's a flow is the best word I can give you. Also, was a comedian on here recently who I went off on kind of like a little bit of a what you some of you might call a rant, but I call it a a beautiful moment. And, and at at the end of it, I apologized to him. Was like, oh, I went on too long there. I'm sorry.
And he goes, no, man. He's like, you were, like, flow state there. He's like, I spend my professional life trying to find that spot. Oh. I was like, oh, I just need ten minutes to warm up, but I can hit it in two seconds.
You're on the roll.
And I also think that even if you being, like, super serious for a second, if you go back and listen to any of, like, the pro tip stuff or any of that stuff there Mhmm. I'm not good at diabetes till I hit this moment. Mhmm. And then it feels like I create this sort of, like, slip and slide from the things I know to the ability to, like, articulate them. Mhmm.
But if I try to speak thoughtfully and measured more like the rest of you do sometimes, I'm not really that thoughtful. It it's interesting. Like, I I need a little bit of unconscious when I'm talking, and then it, like, then it makes sense. Or those of you who don't believe in that, whatever. But, like, you know, you're like, no.
You're an idiot. That's why I listen to this. I listen because you're an idiot, and you make me feel good about my own mental health. Maybe that's what's happening for some people. I have no idea.
Oh, it's like those people that have to have a little bit of alcohol to drink before they they can be social.
That's not good for me. I wouldn't need that's not that wouldn't be good for me. Yeah. I'd say terrible. Like, I I mean, they wouldn't be terrible, but they would hurt your feelings if I was because I do this is actually me.
I'm I'm actually, like, restraining myself. I I tell people all the time, like, when I first started doing this, Kelly's like, people are not gonna like you. And I was like, no. I'll just hold some of it back. And and she's like, yeah.
You think you can do that? And I was like, no. And I think I've actually found a, like, a good level of it. I think so. I I think the podcast is entertaining, and it's helpful, and it's introspective, and and valuable.
But Yes. If I just opened up oh, thank you for that. That was a thoughtful yes. I'm sorry I spoke over it. If I just completely opened up, you would be like, oh my god.
Too much?
Well, imagine, like, no filter on me and going this fast.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'd it would take me about an hour to just, like I'd go through that. Yeah. I'd hit all the ones. I'd be like I'd talk about those people online who are, you know, acting like they're the reason that that Elodon trial's working.
I would talk by the way, the others nine people who I don't mean that about are now insulted. But here's the funny thing about me. I don't care. And you you know, like and and I'm not talking about them. Figure it out.
That's your own guilt, not me. Okay? And, you know, I'd I'd go off about I I would talk about so many things that would probably get me in trouble. But maybe at the end, I'll let you know when the last year of the podcast is. I'll may I'll, like, ring a bell.
I'll be like, listen. I've already secured all the advertising, and I'm not doing this again next year. Let's go. You you know what I mean?
Do You Run Out of Toilet Paper?49:15
This we talk about this at the pharmacy sometimes because there's just some customers you wish you could just say what you wanna say to them.
Mhmm. Well, what would you what would you say? How give me one example of somebody who is just like if you could just say what you wanted to say to them, you think it would be valuable for them if they would be forced to listen.
Well, just people who whose irresponsibility and or lack of taking ownership of their own care, and then it creates, like, an emergency for you. And, like, like, running completely out of things like insulin or, you know, their heart medicine, and then coming in on a weekend, they don't have refills on their bottle. You know, usually, we'll give them some. But if they come in being an asshole right off the get go, it doesn't really make me wanna, you know, just give you something.
Mhmm.
But I have asked people before, like, do you let yourself run completely out of toilet paper?
And what and what do they say?
They're like, no. And they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm like, this is what you need to live. Like, what?
You would you say to them, listen. Would you let yourself run out of toilet paper? Because the situation you've put us in right now is you have a shitty ass, and you're asking me to wipe it off. Exactly. Yeah.
I don't wanna do it.
Yeah. And guess what? Not for nothing. Ali's not into that. Okay?
So, go take care of yourself. You know what? I I have, an acquaintance who's been on a GLP for two years and can't lose weight. And and I say you know, I'm talking to him one day. I was like, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, look, man. I don't know. You're doing something wrong.
Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, let's try to, like, let's figure it out. I realized I'm talking to him. He's in a convenience store parking lot eating a lunch and talking about how his stomach hurts all the time. And I'm like, well, what are you eating?
And he starts going through the things he's eating. I said, you should stop eating those things. I was like, I think that might be part of your problem. You know, you you've taken a drug that's slowing down your digestion significantly, and then you're eating fatty foods. And then you're saying, I don't understand.
My stomach hurts. And then the the takeaway is the GLP makes my stomach hurt. I'm like, a word of. Not really. Like, you know now, again, some of you have probably had problems on the drug.
I'm not I'm not saying you didn't. I'm just saying that there's some situations where you're like, listen. You're you're double fisting cheeseburgers on a GLP and telling me that it makes your stomach hurt. The the the cheeseburgers that make your stomach hurt, not the GLP.
Right.
You you you know, like, so and or or the or the poor people who have some level of gastroparesis when they start, and then they have real trouble on it. They didn't know they had gastroparesis before, probably. And then they're like, you know, this this medication, it gave me gastroparesis. And I'm like, maybe, or maybe you almost maybe you were getting closer, and maybe it's tipped it a little bit. Like, I don't know, but we all run out into the world then and, you know, make the pronouncements about things.
Mhmm.
It's and it's tough to be do you ever think about this when you're looking at those people in the pharmacy? You want them to make a good decision, but nobody's ever told them what a good decision is. Mhmm. How are they gonna make it? Like, I mean, seriously, back to, like, GLPs and gastroparesis, someone probably should have said to them, hey.
Have you had diabetes for twenty years and had a one c's in the sevens? I don't think we maybe it might be a little scary to put you on the struggle. Why don't we check your motility first to make sure that this isn't gonna slow it way down? Like, there's think people led them wrong in that situation. Right.
Anyway, like, I'm gonna take a hard pivot for a second because you're in pharmacy. I think GLP medications are gonna, like, fundamentally change the world. I I think that in your my lifetime, like, that idea of, like, you know, you you go to Disney World and everybody's overweight. Like, I don't I think that's gonna go the other direction. Do you think that or what are you seeing with people like in real in the real world?
Because I get worried sometimes that I judge what's happening based on my experience, which is all I can really do. But I'm my I'm having a fairly thoughtful use case with the stuff. So what do you see, like, in the real world use?
I'm not seeing a whole lot of people who don't go to the pharmacy anyway. Like, if there are people who don't go to the doctor, don't take care of their health, I don't think they're gonna be exposed to it anyway. These are people who or most most of the people that we dispense to, you know, are diabetic patients anyway, or they have other health issues going on that they were already our patients. We don't have many new people coming in that are just getting GLPs. I guess that's what I mean.
The way I'm doing it. Like so I I I wasn't having a ton of other issues that were, like, really detrimental, and I was like, I'm gonna lose weight.
And Right.
Then I so I oddly enough, I'm using it more proactively than most people.
Right.
Yeah. But we'll put it
in the water. It's not even on some people's radars.
Oh, no. That's for sure. Like, a 100 I'm I'm sometimes stunned by the things that exist in the world that people don't know about. I'll give you three of them right now. GLPs, most people no idea what you're talking about.
Mhmm.
Self driving cars, which work much better than you all probably think they do, and AI. Like, the weight like, I go to juiceboxpodcast.com right now and look at how great that website looks like. And then say to yourself, that Scott guy did that in two weeks, and he doesn't know how to code a website. Like like, seriously. No no joke.
Like, go look. It's people say, wanna be able to listen on the website. I don't wanna go to like, you know, I don't there's a thing I I think I'm I think I drag a lot of people who otherwise would never listen to a podcast into being podcast listeners. Mhmm. So you kinda have to give them more options about how to listen because, like, where I would just, like, open Spotify or Apple Podcasts and listen, they don't know about that.
So they wanna be able to listen online better. But that's not what the podcast industry wants, so the online players kinda suck. And so I just coded my own online players. But I don't know how to code. And the I mean, that's the thing that AI does that's really astonishing.
My son works in an industry where he's overseen by a project manager. And he came downstairs yesterday and he goes, you know how this project would go better? And I said, how? And he goes, if the project manager would leave us alone. And and and and I was like he starts talking about, like, you know, Skye is just trying to make work for himself.
We don't need him. Like, he thinks he's everything's about him. He's making a thousand meetings that nobody needs, blah blah blah. We need to keep track of what we're changing, keep track of our deadlines, blah blah. And I watched over his face.
He goes, I could just build an AI agent to do that. And I was like, okay. And in ten minutes, he was explaining to me how he's gonna build an AI agent to do the project management stuff. And then once it's working right, he's gonna take it to his boss and go, hey. I figured out how we can save a $100 and make our lives better.
Let's get rid
And of like, so and you could argue, well, that's terrible. John's gonna lose his job. Or you could argue if John was better at his job, no one would ever have that thought. And, you know, and like, I've heard people say about all these things. Right?
Mhmm. Always fear the GLPO, it's bad or you're Mhmm. You you know, you're cheating. Well, when I'm alive longer, I'm not gonna think of that as cheating, by the way. I'm gonna think of that as winning.
You know? The the AI stuff, I've heard it said that the closest thing I can come to believing now a year and a half ago, I would have told you. I was telling to people a year and a half ago, there's gonna be college courses just about how to prompt AI. Mhmm. And now and and I thought that the people who knew how to do it were gonna succeed.
And I've kinda melded that into an idea of now, like, it feels more to me like people who people who work with AI will keep their jobs, and people who don't know how to work with it are gonna have trouble in certain industries. Like, know what I mean? Like, not not everywhere. Self driving cars, I'm just gonna tell you, like, they work perfectly. Mhmm.
Is it perfect perfect? It's not, but it drives way better than you do. So you can think that's not true, but you were wrong. So it it it's it's fascinating how well that stuff works. Anyway, my point is that those are, like, pretty big leaps in technology and understanding of the world that most people are completely unaware of.
Yeah. It's pretty interesting. So when you get into medicine or, you know, like, you know, what was the other day they were yelling about, like, there's peptides are gonna be easier to compound now or something. And then I heard somebody say that's not true. But I was like, whatever.
Like, let's say it becomes more true. It doesn't matter. It's not like your doctor's gonna be like, oh, you know, here's this peptide that helps you heal more quickly. That's no one's ever gonna prescribe that to you. Like, it's just you you know what I mean?
Yeah. Yeah.
Anyway, I'm sorry. Say all the things you wanna say now.
Dragged In by True Crime58:28
Well, I have to tell you how I found the podcast, I guess, because I am of a certain age, and I didn't listen to podcasts before. Do you know who Alec Murtaugh is?
Wait.
It's this lawyer in Charleston that, like, killed his family.
I know that name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Okay. So that one of my friends was listening to a podcast about that whole thing, and she was like, you gotta listen to this. It's great. So that was the first ever podcast I listened to.
So that got me onto and then I figured out I could, you know, search for things I wanted other things I wanted to listen to. Mhmm. So when she got diagnosed, I came you know, yours You knew about this? To pop up.
Oh, wow. Well, thank god he killed all those people.
I know. Right? Thanks, Alec. I don't know I don't know if he's still alive or if he's in jail or what. But So you It was terrible story.
I
like the way you laughed through it. No. It's but, man, what a good point. Like, you were never gonna find podcasts. Something drug you into it because it was the only delivery system for that story.
Also, I mean, this is an over said statement, but I do not know why women like True Crime Podcasts so much. It's very like, that's a truth about the world. They're incredibly popular.
Mhmm.
Like, health podcasts, true crime podcasts, politics, those should be, like, the most, like, widely popular kinds of of podcasts. Mhmm. But yeah. Do any idea why? Have you ever dreamt of killing somebody?
Does it fulfill a fantasy? What's going on there? Do you like being scared without being in danger?
I think if you see, like, a really messed up family, it makes you feel better about yours maybe.
So this is just about cattiness, you
think? Probably.
I knew there were people out there that were worse off than I was. Thank god.
I'm just here to make you feel better about yourself.
Oh, that's a t shirt for sure. If it's not, patent pending. Please don't steal that. I had the oh my god. I a couple of years ago, a professor at Penn State Mhmm.
Was arrested for having relations with a dog. I don't know another way to say that nicely. Oh. And I was like, god. That must be the talk of the campus.
And then I said to the kids, I was like, could we make a t shirt about that and then just sell it in Penn around Penn State? I think we might be wealthy. I think every kid on camp there's so many kids at that school. What if we sold one to each one of them? I think we'd be done.
We could retire. You know? And my kids are I I don't I wasn't I wanna be clear. I wasn't serious. I was joking around, but they're like, please don't do that.
But but I'm only here to make you feel better. That's gotta be it. I mean, if that's not a t shirt already, the t shirt gods are are not paying attention. That's Right. Because that's how we all feel, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like, I'm just here messing everything up. You know, at least I'm a I'm a good role model for you to feel like you're doing a little better job than me. I I think there's a lot of value in that. But then you find the podcast and Yeah.
Why do you find it though? Because you said she's been taking care of it on her own pretty much the whole time. So where's the value for you? Because I don't imagine she's listening to you. You don't get to go like, oh, go listen to episode this.
Right? Right. You
Well, I'm I'm just the kind of person who wants to know everything about a thing, and I had limited knowledge. And I those first probably three months were rough. She was
Nice.
So when she got diagnosed, she was in the hospital, I think, on a Tuesday or Wednesday. We got out the next day. She had a basketball tournament that weekend, and I was like, what? We're doing it. We're now this is not gonna limit us.
We're we're doing it. Mhmm. Well, she played the first game, and I expected her to tank. So we had given her some snacks before, and she was, like, 400 after her game.
Yeah.
And so then I did some research on to the, like, adrenaline and how it can make you go up during exercise versus down versus, you know, different kinds of exercise, and there's you know, it's just so much information. And then the hormones, and, I just wanted to get all the information I could so that I could you know? And I do share it with her in little pieces, and I have sent her some of the small sips.
Mhmm.
I don't I don't know if she's listened to them or not.
Tell you I listened to them recently? Yeah. I had to give a talk, and it was a I had this is only for people who are online too much, but I had to drive out to Long Island to give a talk at Hofstra at a teaching hospital. It's a three hour ride one way. I drove six hours to talk for an hour and ten minutes.
I did not charge them to do that. Wow. So those of you out there who say you're helping people, but it's all about, like, I wonder if I could get money out of everybody. Mhmm. You know, maybe just do a nice thing once in a while.
Anyway, that's not for me. That's to tell you that I was in the car first three hours on the way to the thing. And I'm a pretty good public speaker. Mhmm. So but I don't prepare.
So I do the flow state thing. Usually works out pretty well. I just modulate it differently because, you know, it's not for fun. It's not a podcast. And but I I knew I was going out to to give like a very specific conversation.
And I actually thought to myself, I wish I could just brush up really quickly on what I think. I know that sounds odd, but, you know, stuff I said a while ago and, you know, it lives online where people are like, my god. This is really valuable to me. I don't remember exactly how I said those things. So I just list I just put those small sips on.
I just let them run-in the car. And, you know, they're only sometimes ten minutes long or something like that. And I got done, and I don't mean I'm not trying to be funny or self deprecating or any I just I got done and I thought, these are really good. Mhmm. Like, these will really help you.
You you know? And they're quick. And they put you in a in a tiny little knowledge bubble that you need, makes it understandable, and you can get the hell out of it really quickly. And, you know, I made that for younger people, but never thinking to myself, like, they'll probably never even listen to it. So but they're there if you want them.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've sent her some of them. I listened to all the beginner stuff. I'd started at the beginning.
Mhmm. And then I would skip ahead and search for certain things I was looking for.
Sure.
R Insulin and What Actually Matters1:05:15
But I I learned so much just from listening to other people talk about just different I remember I was listening to a podcast one time, and you had Jenny on. And y'all were talking about a mountain climber, and she was talking about our insulin. And I ended up getting some from the pharmacy, and my daughter eats a very low carb lunch. Mhmm. So we give her r when she leaves her school, and it covers her throughout the day.
Okay.
So that's working pretty well too.
Nice.
But just different things that I've picked up, and everybody's so different at the way they manage. I do hear a lot of people talking about pumps and technology, and I have listened to a lot of those podcasts as well just hoping in sometime in the future that she may, you know, be ready for that.
Yeah. Just got a text while you and I were talking from the person who just helps me with Arden's, Trio algorithm. And the text just says let's see. Trio is in Main now. Should we move Arden up?
I said, do you think I should? And they said, yes. And I said, cool. Let's do it. So yeah.
I'm I'm hopeful for, I mean, honestly, I think if we could get to unannounced meals on an algorithm, it'd be a really big deal for people. Mhmm. Yeah. You just eat and that thing could figure it out and get ahead of that. I think that changes people's lives.
I've you know, just in the last week, I've spoken to a group of adults, a group of parents, a second group of parents, and a bunch of little kids all about diabetes in, like, in a short span of time. And it's it's valuable to hear their their feedback and what they're going through and everything. And whether these kids, I'm not kidding, are seven or 70, and you say to them pre ballsing, they all say the same exact thing. Like, that's difficult to remember to do.
Mhmm.
And Yeah. And one I think it was a kid today. It was. It was like a like a an 11 year old girl she said to me, I don't know I'm hungry till I'm hungry. Mhmm.
And it was just the simplicity of the way she said it. Like, I don't plan to eat in twenty minutes. I'm not hungry now. I'm hungry twenty minutes from now. And, you know, I don't know.
There's just the way she said it to me, was like, yeah. She's she's right. Again, not that I don't know that pre bolting is difficult or that it's not an extra thing for you to remember. I just I'm more in the camp of you're putting so much effort into this. If we could put in less effort in different places
Mhmm.
And it is it a is it a it a switch up in how you think about it? It is. But it I think you'll find it valuable if you can get into that kind of flow state with it. Whereas, like, you know, I pre bolus my meals. I don't let a blood sugar get over, like, one sixty without, like, bolus ing again, if that's happening.
Right? If it's going up and not stopping, I don't stare at it. And, you know, I mean, I understand the impact of my food, and you're you're kinda done. Like, it's not
that Right.
There's not that much to it. It's I said to somebody the other day, I used to worry all the time that, you know, like, I would lose the podcast somehow or somebody would come along and say it better or differently or make it more entertaining or something like that. I said, stopped thinking about it. Like, I don't I don't think about it anymore. Like, seen, I lost count at around a 110 or a 120 other people who tried to start a type one diabetes podcast in the last twelve years after I did
it. Mhmm.
And it's hard. It's hard to say the same simple things in different ways. Like, you get I think you can get lost in thinking there's, like, a bigger idea and more to say. There's not. It's it's it's managing your insulin timing and amount.
It's understanding the impact of your food. That's really it. Right. You know, after that, there's mental health stuff and all this, you know, interpersonal stuff that, you know, you you and I talked about today and you've heard in other episodes. It's all important.
And, you know, there's it's it's all worth paying attention to. But if you're just talking about the nuts and the bolts of it, it's just putting the right amount of insulin at the right time.
Right.
You know? And so Right. When you start doing those things wrong right? And I don't mean wrong like you screwed up. I mean, purposely, I don't pre bolus my meals.
Okay? Mhmm. I'm now there's a ton of psychological reasons why that might not have happened. I don't minimize any of them. But I'm saying once that happens
It happens.
This twenty four hour period, it's a shit show. You're chasing the insulin. You're chasing the the number. It's a it's an entire day of this exhaustive chase of this thing that you just didn't have to let out of the box. And, you know, and and it's not that easy.
And obviously, I I mean, if you heard me talk for the last hour, I know it's not that easy, but it is true. Mhmm. And so how do you get yourself to that point? And I will tell you that, you know, our daughters are not exactly the same age, and they've had diabetes for vastly different amounts of time. But I still hear the same story in your daughter that I hear in other people I talk to and I experience with my own kid, which is you can do all this stuff you wanna do.
The way it ends up going is out of your hands. It's gonna have a lot to do with their desire, their focus, their level of interest and understanding, and all of the outside variables that they come to in their life. Girlfriends, boyfriends, jobs, stress. Like, these are all things that re they reshape people constantly. Right?
Right. And we only have so much perspective, and we only have so much time, and we only have so much energy. So you can be a perfect parent. You can understand all of this. You can pass it on, and it might go great.
It might not go great. It might go somewhere in the middle. But I'm gonna tell you that nobody wakes up on the first day that their new baby's home from the hospital and says, I'm gonna raise that Montauk guy. But somebody does. And you know what I mean?
And so, like, your kid's either gonna be out there, like, slaying diabetes or diabetes is gonna be slaying them or somewhere in that middle. Don't know that you can do more than lay out a path, be supportive, be understanding, and then step back and say, if you need me, I'm right here.
Right.
And then just take whatever it is that's gonna happen, you just gotta be willing to just accept that really wasn't within your control to begin with. Right?
Right. Right. I told her I wanted her to make all the mistakes while she was living at home so that she would know how to how to deal with them.
Yeah. Well, that's parenting, is putting kids through experiences so that hopefully when they happen to them when you're not there, they don't freeze up. Right. Or ignore them.
She doesn't drink now or, you know, I guess my parents probably thought that too. But, no, I think kids these days don't drink as much as what went on when I was a kid, but, I've talked to her about it anyway, you know, like, all the things that can happen and how it's harder to treat lows. And I just want her to have all the information. Mhmm. And she can, you know, use it however she needs to.
But
It's all you can do. That's life, by way. It's not diabetes. Like, if you think Right. I I I think I say it enough here, but I I found myself saying it this weekend.
Somebody came up to me after the talk, like, oh my god. That was so thoughtful and blah blah blah. It's just how I think about life. Like, it's just common sense layered over top of diabetes. And Mhmm.
Like, the I the truth of it is you can take the talk I just gave, take out the word diabetes, put in a different word word. I don't know what that word would be, and it would probably apply to that stuff too. Mhmm. It's not magical. You you know what I mean?
Right. I'm just I'm laughing, thinking your parents sitting around going, oh, Ali, she doesn't drink. She probably doesn't have sex. She's, like, she's fantastic. And you're out there just drunk, banging in the back seat of a car.
And and they're just like, she's so lovely. She's really great. She's our princess. Princess? Yeah.
Something like that.
Something like that. Well, yeah. Well, you know, like, it sucks. And it's interesting, and it's fun. And if you changed it, it would be boring.
So
Well and I don't think I would have done half the things I did if everybody had a video camera in their pocket like they do these days. You know?
Yeah. I mean, right?
That would have changed everything.
They don't know about our lives. They really don't. They they
I'm glad I grew up when I did.
Actually, I like, we're in a we're probably about the same age. Right? So I like the spot we're in. I like having grown up without it, but experienced it humming. And being like, I you know, I'm probably not the person you would think would be at home being like, I think I can make AI work for me.
You you you know, but I I but I had a computer when I was younger. It didn't do anything. It's trite to say it out loud now, but you guys have no idea. Like Mhmm. If you're walking around with a cell phone right now, you know, I've said it before, but there's more computing power in your iPhone than what they used to, like like, send that that lunar orbit to the moon.
Like like, there's you know, back in the sixties, if you believe they did it. I mean, the Internet. You know what I mean? But, like, but it it's just it's fascinating. They're talking about they're talking about this AI making another leap sometime this year by the beginning of next year.
And it's all to do with, like, the chip speed that's processing the work behind the scenes. And once they get these chips moved up one more time, then, you know, I guess, then they get the AIG. I'm a little out of my depth here, but, like, you know, the the I mean, what's his name? Anthropic just released a model of Claude internally that have you heard about this? They so, you know, they No.
They have a new new model of Claude. I think it's called Mythos. And they they test it the way they test it. Right? And one of the way they test it is, like, against security and protocol and stuff like that to see if it can find flaws in existing systems.
And they went into systems where they have like, we all think they run perfectly. Right? They we think they're secure. We think they're fine, etcetera, and so on. Like, nothing that we've had up until then, including the the version of Claude right before that could find any problems.
This mythos walked in and was like, oh my god, and found every problem with it in a split second. Oh, I know. To the point where they said, we can't release this to the public. Because for you, you seem like a nice person. You might think, oh, that's great.
Well, well, like, I'll go to my bank with Mythos, and I'll find all the security flaws and fix them. Mhmm. Someone else is thinking they're gonna go to your bank with it and take your money. You you you know, or or blah blah blah. So they're so they were like, we I don't we don't even think we can release this.
We're at that point already. And, you know, like and so they'll cripple it a little bit probably before they put it out. But then they shared it with a bunch of companies, which by the way, thought was because they wanted the companies to be they say they wanted the companies to be able to, like, fix their problems before this kinda gets out into the world. But the point is is that eventually, this is gonna get out in the world. You you know?
And I don't I don't know that anybody's even paying attention to this stuff. Like like, seriously, like, you hear I don't know. AI's scary. It's bad. Or it uses up a lot of electric or water.
And maybe you're that person where you're like, you know, well, it's it's ruining the environment. You know? Mhmm. Trust me, everything's ruining the environment. But like, you know or maybe you're like me who's like, I think I can find better ways for people to help themselves with their diabetes with it.
Like, I'm gonna Mhmm. Gonna try to use it for like a good thing. Meanwhile, like, I don't know, like, things are moving really, really quickly. But you and I have context for it. People who are alive right now, like, in the last twenty years, they just think this is how it works.
Right.
It's a magical world where the electric thing does the stuff. And Mhmm. Like, know, you and I made, a grilled cheese sandwich and walked outside with it. And we're like, I wonder what I'll stare at now.
Went to look up things in an encyclopedia.
The worst. Absolutely the worst. And you're reading about it, and you're like, even back then as a kid, I was like, when was this written? Like, I don't know. Everything I knew up into that's why I'm like like that's why I'm still really hopeful about the podcast being like, you know, it's easy to say, like, he's been doing this for twelve years.
I actually, I'm one of the people who says that, like, how much longer can this possibly last? But at the same time, I honestly think it's in its infancy still. Because we're about to find a whole new generation of people who don't have to go find a podcast through a true crime podcast to help themselves with their diabetes. Their expectation is that this exists somewhere. Mhmm.
And they're gonna go get it. The same way when I wake up in the morning and I don't know how to do something, I think I will understand how to do this by this afternoon.
Mhmm.
I I get excited about that.
I'm always amazing.
Yeah. I'm pissed about being old because I think the next fifty years, again, if we don't kill ourselves or the robots don't come or whatever.
I mean, you've seen Terminator.
I've seen Terminator. I've seen the news. Like, you know, like, if we don't figure out a way to blow ourselves up, I think it's gonna be really amazing, and I'm gonna be pissed to be dead. Seriously. I mean it.
Like, the last thing I think before I go out, I'll be like, I'm gonna miss a bunch of stuff. That's how that's how I'm gonna feel. People who died fifty years ago were just like, okay. It's fine. I can go now.
Right. They had no idea what was coming.
I'm out of stuff. I did the thing. Right? I painted the house three times. How many times am I gonna paint the house?
I'm good. So, nevertheless, any anyway, good luck to everybody. I don't know what to tell you. The guy that barely got out of high school making a podcast. So you probably shouldn't be listening to me.
What have we missed? Anything? Do you wanna say anything? You got follow ups ending? You wanna leave a message to the world?
No. I just really appreciate, you know, hearing everyone's voices, and I wanted to add in my 2¢ because we're you know, we manage a little differently. And because I've learned so much from hearing other people's stories, I just wanted to, you know, be on and and contribute.
Did you feel like you got to do that, or did you catch me on too much of an energy day, you're like, well, I probably should be invited back to do what I wanted to do.
I'll come back if she ever goes back on a CGM
or if
she gets some technology or something because I'll be I don't know. I'll be shocked.
I gotta tell you. I wish there was a way to, like, invite her on here. I'd love to hear her opinion. I know that's not happening. Don't get me wrong.
But hers is the kind of opinion I'd like to hear. Right. I'd like you you know what I mean? I'd like to hear her say, look. I don't I just don't care.
Like or, like, I'm doing this is good enough. Good enough is good enough or whatever. Like or I don't know how she feels. She might Yeah. You she might surprise you.
She might you know, if she was able to unburden herself, she might say, you know, I can't handle it. You know, I wanna do that stuff, but I just I can't. Like, it's too much for me. Like, who knows what her answer would be? You know?
Right. But that's why this is interesting because all this is is your perspective of her situation.
Mhmm. Right.
You know? And mine? Right. I don't know you or her.
Mhmm. Right.
I'm just generalizing. Yeah. Having said that, generalizing, you know, works pretty well. So everybody's not like, I'm a I'm a flower. No.
You're not. Stop it. Alright. Hold on one second for me. I'd like to thank the Eversense three sixty five for sponsoring this episode of the
Juice Box podcast and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every fourteen days, you want the Eversense CGM. Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. One year, one c g m. This episode was sponsored by Touched by Type One. I want you to go find them on Facebook, Instagram, and give them a follow, and then head to touchedbytype1org where you're gonna learn all about their programs and resources for people with type one diabetes.
The podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Mobi with Control IQ plus technology at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. There are links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app.
We'll be back tomorrow with another episode of the Houston Fox five.
Read the full disclaimer
© 2007–2026 Juicebox Podcast. All rights reserved.
#1895 Laying Pipe
Laying Pipe
A year after her toddler's Mother's Day diagnosis, a first-time podcast listener went from terrified to thriving numbers and confidence — proof you don't need to be a diabetes veteran.
Jump to a moment
- Strong management is possible fast. One year after her daughter was diagnosed at 3½, Melissa reports a 6.7 GMI with about 79% time in range on Omnipod 5 and Dexcom — her whole reason for coming on was to tell the newly diagnosed you don’t have to be a “veteran” to do well.
- The signs before diagnosis: increased thirst and urination (peeing through overnight pull-ups), lethargy, sunken eyes, and confusion, with a fever finally sending them to the ER. New-onset type 1 can escalate quickly.
- Melissa’s “bold” ethos: when a number is high and trending, correct it and figure out the why later instead of sitting and staring — and pre-bolusing (she cites ~40 minutes for a banana) makes the biggest difference she sees.
- Easing device-change fear in a young child: distraction tricks (a percussion massager, a “clicky pen” tapped on the leg), decorating pods with stickers and paint, and modeling pride turned screaming pod changes into her daughter showing off her “bump.”
- Access took persistence: a family connection helped skip a ~4-month endocrinology wait to Riley Children’s in Indianapolis, and telehealth now covers most visits with local bloodwork. Multiple people — ER nurses and a friend with type 1 — pointed her to the podcast.
- Omnipod — the tubeless pump her daughter wears (Omnipod 5)
- Dexcom — the CGM Melissa calls “my buddy”
- Bold Beginnings Series — for the newly diagnosed, with Jenny Smith (verify slug)
- Diabetes Pro Tip Series — foundational management series Melissa re-listens to (verify slug)
- Riley Children’s Health — Indianapolis; her daughter’s pediatric endocrinology (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — community around type 1 (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast — all series and free resources
Every word of the conversation
A Mom, One Year In0:00
Here we are back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
Hi. I am Melissa, and I am mom to a four year old type one diabetic.
Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast private Facebook group. Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome.
Type one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. Today's podcast episode is sponsored by Medtronic Diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the MiniMed seven eighty g system and their new sensor options, which include the Instinct sensor made by Abbott. Would you like to unleash the full potential of the MiniMed seven eighty g system? You can do that at my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Today's episode is also sponsored by the Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at kontoornext.com/juicebox.
Testing. Can you say
testing? Testing.
Awesome. That's working. Now you won't be the next Victor Garber. Yeah. Go ahead.
Introduce yourself the way you want to be known. I don't think you need your last name. If you wanna use it, I wouldn't stop you.
Oh, no. I'm mm-mm. Okay. You're
like, no. I won't be telling people my last name. Thank you for bringing it up.
Alright. Well, here goes. Hi. I am Melissa, and I am mom to a four year old type one diabetic.
One Year This Past Weekend2:37
How long has your four year old first of all, hello, Melissa. And Hello. How how long has your four year old had type one?
One year this past weekend.
I just this morning interviewed a gentleman from England who's, I think, 16 old or it has had it for, like, four months now or something like that. Jeez. She like, he told me a story that while he was telling me, he got choked up. Mhmm. I stopped him, I said, listen.
If it makes you feel better, I'm crying too. So it was just this terrible extra when it's, a little kid. Just hard to hear, I think. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, today might be a day for tears because
Awesome.
I get choked up. It's hard for me to still talk about it sometimes. Okay. It's only been a year, so I think that's fair.
Yeah. How old are you?
How old are you? You? What year is this? 42.
You're 42. But you have a four year old?
Yeah. Yeah.
How old were you when got married?
Not yet. Actually, getting married this August.
How old were you when you let that boy make you pregnant? 38?
38 with that one, but then
Melissa, you're gonna be fun. We're okay. I okay.
Yeah. Which times have 18 old.
Oh, yeah. With with Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. How many kids do
have Two and no more.
Same guy. You said it like you were like, it was such such such a a flashback. Same guy.
Well, I mean, I'm not married, so that's, like, obviously everyone's first question.
Gotta be. You know what I mean? So Yeah. We have a third so had you had you been married prior? Nope.
What happened well, how did may may I dig in? What happened to yeah. Unburden yourself, Melissa. What happened in your life that you didn't meet a guy until you were 38 that you would even let do that, and then you didn't marry him right away? Like, what's how'd you get to all that?
Unburden Yourself, Melissa4:16
So I think well, I know I'm, like, a little bit weird in a I think I think in a good sense, but I don't know. I've had a couple, what, three, like, decent length relationships, but I was engaged once in my very early twenties. And then that was a it was very obvious mistake. So Okay. Broke that off early on.
And then what what's the next long relationship?
Let's see. My late twenties.
Mhmm.
I was I had friends that had kids right out of high school, and I at that point, like, always wanted kids, and I always wanted to have the, you know, happily ever after. But I was just having fun. Like, I worked in a restaurant. We went out to the bars every night.
Mhmm.
You know, it was just a good time.
I I've been married for thirty years this summer. I don't know if I
have Congratulations.
I don't know if I have a happily ever after. I suppose I was just
Well, I've come to realize that maybe it's not like I mean, not all the time. I'm very happy.
Sure.
Me too.
Yeah. Too. We were watching the boys last night, and Arden Arden says, if mom had Homelanders powers, you'd be dead. You said you're right. You're right.
That's fine. So okay. Early twenties, Melissa. How was she Mhmm. How was she quirky?
The Unfiltered Tomboy Plumber5:59
I hope this doesn't offend anyone. But okay.
So I hope it does.
I was
But go ahead.
Yeah. That's true. Whatever. I was very tomboyish, like, played softball my whole life.
Mhmm.
I ended up becoming a plumber by trade, and then I I always had guy friends and not, like, girlfriends.
It was
kind of a running joke that I was a lesbian by other people, not me. I'm like, no. No. I promise. Like, women are great.
Love them. They're beautiful. Yeah. Nice boobs. But, no, I don't wanna touch them.
Not down for that. But but but you you you, as the kids say, coded gay.
Yes.
Okay.
Very much so.
Alright.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then and then how was late twenties, Melissa, quirky? Did it change at all?
Maybe. A little bit. I think I got a little more reserved in a sense because I was in, like, I don't wanna say a shitty relationship. It was it yeah. It ended up being not it was he was a little mentally abusive, never physical.
He had just small digs, small digs. So it kinda shut me down some, I think.
Wait. You said small digs. Right? Yeah. Okay.
Alright. It wasn't. So it's like, what is she it's like, what is she about to say? So so wait. So he would, like, what?
Like, just try to looking back, he feel like he was trying to keep you down a little bit or change you, or what do you think was happening?
Yeah. I think he was trying to keep me more, I guess, submissive, maybe, in a sense.
To thoughts and ideas or sexually, or what do you mean?
Yes. All.
All all the above.
Yeah. Looking back, like, of any ex I've ever had, like, I'm still I don't wanna say friendly, but, like, I don't have hatred towards, like, if I saw them, I'd be like, oh, hey. How's it going?
What's up?
If I saw this guy, I'd probably find a rock or something and throw at him. Like
Was his mom's domineering towards him? Do you do you have any idea why he felt like he needed to control somebody? So Okay.
I don't so I believe let's see if I remember correctly. His dad was actually out of the picture because he was in prison.
Oh, that's one of Yeah. That's one of the things that
get Yeah. So he did grow up with a stepdad. And, like, I think I I only met his parents once, that was a surprise on them. We drove from the Midwest to Virginia. And then when we got there, they're like, oh, who's this?
I'm like, oh, cool. You didn't tell your family I was coming.
Awesome. Do they know who I am even? Why is this so weird?
They did not.
Oh, how long had you been dating when he drove you across the country to spring on them that you were
Probably two years.
Oh my god. Really? Now when that happens Yeah. You're standing in Virginia and you realize all this, you go, okay. I guess I'll break up with him as soon as we get home?
No. Because I think at that point, I was so, like, already beaten down. Not physically, but,
like Yeah.
You know? But, yeah, I think I was just and, like, he had two small children that I was, like, in love with, so that was a part of the Oh. Part of the reasons that I stuck around. Can I
tell you what I told a lady the other day while we were recording? Sure. If somebody else didn't like it, you might not like it either. You know what I mean? Like like Right?
Careful. You know? I I I don't wanna generalize because there are plenty of women who are horrible. But but, you know, girls, like, put I have a I my daughter's twenty twenty over. Please be careful.
You you know? When they're when they're yelling, that's not okay. You know, when you're making up excuses for them all the time, not okay. You know? When they seem really, like, perfect, but they've been divorced three times.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not okay. Yeah. Anyway, well, I'm sorry. That sucks. But but okay.
But how were you quirky then? Because you you said I was a little weird. You mean weird, like, coded lesbian, but we're straight? No.
I guess let's see. Weird I don't know. I say I don't have much of a filter.
Mhmm.
So, like, those a lot of those thoughts that some people just internalize and keep to themselves, I would, like, say out loud. Okay. Like, I don't know. I couldn't even come
up Melissa, I say things constantly that people look at me strangely about. I have no idea what they're talking about.
That's true. When I listen to your podcast, I there are many times where you've said something, and my eyes are just like, woah.
Right.
Oh, okay.
That's cool. But you would but you would say it.
Absolutely. Yeah.
How come it's okay for you and not for me?
It's not. I mean, it is okay. It's just I'm not used to other people being the same.
I it's and I by the way, I'm not a person who says, like, oh, I know that I'm being offensive or outside of what people say usually, but too bad, deal with it. Like, I'm not I don't feel like that at all. I genuinely don't see what's wrong with it. And I don't mean like I don't understand the world. I don't understand why we can't talk like that.
I really don't. Like, I I think everybody would be better off if they just said what they thought and everybody knew how everybody felt. And we were being honest about things. We weren't Yes. Go you know, like, one of my favorite things that happens on the podcast is people will come on and talk about their horrible health care.
And then I'll ask them about the doctor and go, oh, the doctor's fantastic. And I'm like, I don't understand. Like, you just described, like, multiple things going wrong with your health that could easily be helped by somebody else. And I Mhmm. I assume you're about like, when someone does that and I ask the follow-up question, my assumption is they're gonna explain to me what their doctor's not doing, how it would
be more helpful for them if they did these things so that it can
be like a learning experience for other people. But instead, what they go is, no. He's great. I'm like, that's not possible. It's like if I I I told you before we got on, like, there was somebody here painting a wall in my house.
Imagine if he showed up and I paid him, and when he left, the wall wasn't painted. And I said, how's the painter? And he went, oh, he's terrific.
No. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't get that at all. But, nevertheless, like, I don't think that words hurt people.
I agree with that.
Yes. So, I mean, you can choose to be hurt by them, I guess. But I I mean, I've had people say pretty terrible things about me, and I'm still okay.
Hey. Same.
Yeah. I I well, trust me. I get it more than you do probably. Because my
You things you talk to more people than
you do. My things in the world. You you know what I mean? So anyway Yes. Yep.
Right now, early thirties, Melissa.
Yes.
What what happened there? How did you shift again?
The Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast. And it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contournext.com/juicebox, you're gonna find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, Kroger, and Meijer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter than you would pay through my link for the Contour Next Gen and Contour Next test strips in cash.
What am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now even with your insurance. And I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that. But what I can say for sure is that the Kontoor Next Gen meter is accurate.
It is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Kontoornext.com/juicebox. And if you already have a contour meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the juice box podcast link will help to support the show. Unlike other systems that will wait until your blood sugar is a 180 before delivering corrections, The MiniMed seven eighty g system is the only system with meal detection technology that automatically detects rising sugar levels and delivers more insulin as needed to help keep your sugar levels in range even if you're not a perfect carb counter. Today's episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by Medtronic Diabetes and their MiniMed seven eighty g system, which gives you real choices because the MiniMed seven eighty g system works with the Instinct sensor made by Avid, as well as the Simplera Sync and Guardian Force sensors, giving you options.
The Instinct sensor is the longest wear sensor yet, lasting fifteen days and designed exclusively for the MiniMed seven eighty g. And don't forget, Medtronic Diabetes makes technology accessible for you with comprehensive insurance support, programs to help you with your out of pocket costs, or switching from other pump and CGM systems. Learn more and get started today with my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Becoming a Plumber15:30
Early thirties is when I became a plumber. My stepdad was a plumber and asked me I was doing the waitress thing, and they were like, oh, what are you gonna do with your life? Blah blah blah. I'm like, I don't know. I like waitressing.
And then he was like, hey. You wanna help me put in a water softener one day? And I'm like, yeah. Why not? So I went.
He had me using a flame and soldering stuff, and I'm like, well, this is cool. And, yeah, that became my my trade for about ten years.
Ten years. Like like Yeah.
Working on your own, or you worked for a house? Or what do you
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I worked well, his his company. Okay. Family company.
But
They could put you in a van, send you to someone's house. You could swap out a hot water heater, plummet, new construction thing, stuff like that. Yep. And you learned that all on the job?
Yes. Well, I went through the whole, like, four year apprenticeship also.
Oh, you did? But yeah. Yeah. But why'd you stop doing that then? Because, you know, it was because of the joke about the lesbian laying pipe.
Was that it?
Oh, it's no. Because I I was so I learned very early on that you had to give all the guys their, like, more shock than what they will say to you. Oh, okay. You won't get yeah. I was
Oh, okay. So if you're quiet and demure, they're gonna be rude around you. But if you can be if you can be worse than them, it shuts them down.
Yeah. Oh. Yes.
Interesting.
Yeah.
But you didn't mind that dynamic?
No. Because it was great because that's, like I was able to say whatever I wanted in, like, the most harsh, not safe for work
Mhmm.
Way. Like, it was cool.
Kinda kinda freeing. You couldn't say that
in the
restaurant when you were, like No. Bringing people their pancakes. Yeah. No. No.
Interesting. No. Okay. Alright. So you're so, I mean, you're not weird.
You're just what? You're you're outspoken maybe? Is that how people would think of it? I by way, I don't Yes.
That would be.
Yeah. I don't know how regular people describe me. But sometimes when they say stuff, I'm like, I don't see myself that way at all. It's interesting. Okay.
So okay. Then you finally meet this guy, the guy that you've allowed to knock you up twice. And Mhmm. On purpose, by the way?
First time. Yes.
And so you guys are like, we've been together for a while. We're gonna have a baby. We'll get married at some point. Like, that was the vibe.
Yeah. Okay. Cool. Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah.
And okay. So then make that baby, it pops out. Make another baby eighteen months ago. Wait a minute. First one gets diabetes how long ago?
A year ago. Mother's Day weekend of last year.
Mother's Day weekend of last year, your your toddler still gets diagnosed while you have a newborn?
She was about, what, year? Nine months?
Yeah. My gosh.
Not quite a year.
The Week Before Diagnosis18:33
Okay. So what what was the, you know, what was the first thing you noticed? What what got you to the doctor?
So we had just gone through potty training. So she was peeing a lot anyway because that was, like, the whole thing in the potty train. You drink a lot of water. Drink a lot of water. Make you pee.
She hadn't peed overnight in a long time, but then she was, like, peeing out of her pull ups. And then that was probably for a couple weeks. She'd wake up in the middle of the night to go pee. She'd come downstairs and just be like, I need water, or I'm hungry. I'm like, why are you hungry at 2AM?
This makes no sense.
Yep.
And then that last week, she had let's see. Wednesday, she was acting normal. Thursday morning, she was just, like, super lethargic, just, like, sleepy. Like, super sleepy. I'm like, well, maybe she's just you know, the weather's been nice.
Like, we've been outside more. Like, maybe she's just tired. Yeah. We all get tired. Friday comes and still lethargic.
Her eyes seemed a little sunken. Mhmm. Still peeing a lot, and there was a lot of confusion. Like, she couldn't quite like, if we asked her a question, it would take her a second, and you could tell that she was basically forcing herself to interact with us.
Okay.
I'm like, okay. Well, maybe she's coming down with something.
Maybe I am maybe I am weird, and the kids identified it.
I know. Right?
She's like she's like, look. And this lady brings food, so I'm not gonna say too much. But, you know, I'm sorry. Yeah.
Well and she's a kid that doesn't complain. Like, actually, just yesterday morning like, she usually gets up at, like, eight.
Mhmm.
Yesterday morning, like, 06:30, she's she's like, I'm I wanna go downstairs. And I'm like, let's cuddle. We we co sleep.
Mhmm.
I'm like, let's cuddle. Usually, that's my way of, like
Laying in bed longer?
Go back to sleep for a little bit longer, kiddo. So she's like, no. My tummy hurts. I'm like, what? Like, you don't complain about things.
What is this? So came downstairs. I think she went to the bathroom, and then she felt better. But then she's still, like, blah. So I took her temperature, and it's, like, one zero one point nine.
I'm like, no. This is the first time that we've had a temperature since diagnosis.
Okay.
So I'm like, oh my god. What do I do? What do I do? What do do? Give her carbs so I can give her insulin.
Was
it even a problem?
She did have ketones yesterday evening, and then this morning, she had moderate, but I think that's just because overnight. Mhmm. Because the the second pee of the day, she was negative.
Okay. You you've got ketones with urine?
Yes.
Okay. There's a cool blood meter that does it too.
Yeah. I've been I asked for a prescription because my insurance covers basically everything, but they didn't cover it. So I just haven't bought one yet Okay. Because it hasn't been an issue.
They didn't they don't cover that?
I know.
That's interesting.
I don't know. But Okay. Oh, so back to
Friday. You. Yeah.
Yeah. So oh, no. So okay. So Saturday morning, it was, like, what we're is our Mother's Day. We're gonna do it Saturday because for some reason, they don't do stuff on Sunday and Mother's Day, like, in the towns.
So we went to breakfast, and, of course, she had waffles and syrup. And she was, like, in great spirit Saturday morning. And then waffles and syrup, and then we go to, like, a Mother's Day market afterwards and walking around. And, usually, she's, like, wants to touch everything, wants to be like, do everything, walk around, run around. Like, she's all over the place.
Yeah. But she just wanted to sit in the wagon with her baby sister. And we're like, okay. This is something is really not right. So we leave there, and it's around nap time.
She falls asleep in the car immediately, but she has very labored breathing. So we're like, okay. Let's go home. He stays home with the baby. I take her to the ER, and it was like, as we're checking in, like, I didn't even finish giving them all the information.
And they're like, why don't you come back to triage? Like, skipped the waiting room, went straight back. There was one nurse that was, like, doing all the vitals. He's like, before we do anything, we're just gonna do a blood sugar test. And I'm like immediately, I'm like, ah.
Straight Back to Triage22:47
Oh, you thought diabetes?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had, you know, the old Google and chat GPT.
Mhmm. In in your family at all?
The Aunt Who Went Blind23:34
Yeah. I had my dad's sister, so my aunt, she was diagnosed in the seventies, in her thirties.
She
only is fifteen year later fifteen years later that she ended up passing.
In her mid forties? Yeah. Wow.
From the diabetes. Yeah. Lost digits, fingers, toes, lost her eyesight. I'm I'm guessing that she it was undiagnosed for a long time, but it was a long time ago too.
Yeah. Also, it's type one. It can only go undiagnosed for a certain amount of time. At some point, it's more about using enough insulin for what you're eating. You know?
Yeah. Yeah. Jeez. No one knows I don't know how with her being blind, I don't know how I don't understand how they I don't get it. I don't my mom's tried to tell me some stuff, and I'm like, I
About how they manage it. It could even
manage it. Not make sense to me that they were able to, like, manage anything back then. Like, it's hard enough now. Like You know, I have
cutting edge technology, and this is very difficult. You know? Imagine the seventies. Scott, is that Yeah. I I almost thought how long ago was that, but I know how long ago that was because of how old I am, and that's, you know Right.
Yeah. 55 years. She was blind.
Like Wait. The whole time or from the diabetes?
I she lost her eyesight very early on.
Really?
Yeah. Like, had a seen eye dog and everything. Like, when I say eyesight, like, they took her eyeballs out.
Oh, see
She had she had glass eyeballs.
No kidding. Gosh. That's a tough life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she was a nun. Even worse.
No kidding? Yeah. Yeah. How do you No. Never mind.
Are you guy are you guys Catholic? The whole family? Yeah.
I mean, yes.
Yes. We are. Thank you.
Yes. Baptized Roman Catholic. Yes. But I am probably the I've got four siblings. I'm really I don't I'm not not practicing right.
Particularly religious. I I wish I was a nun so that when people offer me things, could say, none for me. Thanks. Don't I think I would just do I think I would do cringey stuff like that all day long. I really do.
I don't ching.
Yeah. I I think I would do pretty much all the time. Wow. Okay. So it's a little bit in your background.
The doctor says blood sugar is checked. You know diabetes. It all kinda falls together for you then what you've been seeing, you know.
Yeah. I mean, was still very shocking because I was, you know, in denial. But, yeah, her when they when he showed me the thing, it was $6.95, and I was like and there were, like, three other nurses right there and because the teaching hospital. But they were I'm not saying they were excited, but they were all, like, you could tell they're patting themselves on the back a little bit because they knew.
We're figuring it out.
And they weren't they weren't being, like, rude about it or anything. But it was just, like, I could tell that they were, yay. Yeah. Figured that out. Immediately.
Yeah. Woo hoo.
They see you more like a black
first time. Yeah.
Yeah.
That was the very first time. Like, the one nurse that took her blood sugar was like, you need to listen to the juice box podcast.
Listen to the Juice Box Podcast26:44
Really?
I'm like, do what? Yes. You're gonna
somebody just Yes. Can you imagine the ridiculousness of what I've built? You're, you know, you're in an emergency room. Somebody just told you your four year old has type one diabetes, and and they're like, here's a podcast for you. You're like, did that seem strange?
It did. Right?
Well, looking back, yeah. I mean, at the time, I was like, sure. I don't know what you're I don't I don't listen to podcasts. I don't like podcasts. I'm not a podcast person.
I do not like podcasts, but this one applies to me. So
Yeah. Turns out you just needed the right one. That's all.
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
There's gotta be a podcast for girls who plum.
My sister has tried to tell me, like, many times, like, you need to do YouTube channel. You need to do TikTok. You need to do all this debt. And I'm like, I probably should've, like Oh, man.
Like, girl, like, showing you how to, like, do plumbing stuff?
Yeah. She's like, you could be called the ponytail plumber.
You know, that only works one way with today's Internet. Right? Yeah. Tanks is involved. So Yeah.
Yeah.
Only fans. Only Jesus.
What does the world come to? Oh. Wow. Okay. So kids diagnosed in the and somebody says, listen to the podcast.
You, I've assumed, don't, like, download it right away. But
On the second day, I did. Second day in the hospital.
Tell me. Tell me. How'd you go from work?
I is not I cut you off. I'm sorry. Tell me. Oh, wait. No.
You're fine.
No. No. Well, I'll start over. So, like Yes. You go from day one of, like, I don't listen to podcast to day two.
Okay. Give it to me. What happens in that twenty four hours?
Because there are about three other people that told me to listen to the podcast.
Oh, in the hospital or in your life?
Yes. In the hospital. What hospital? One in my life.
What hospital is this?
It's in South Bend, Indiana.
Alright. Hey. Thanks, everybody. What's up, guys?
Yeah. Yeah.
Invite me out. I'd love to do a talk.
Right?
Yeah. Not during tornado season. Is that where there are tornadoes?
Occasionally. Okay. We do. Yes. More in the country, not really in town so much.
Okay. I saw a house in Indiana the other day. You know how, like, if if you look at one house, eventually, your Instagram will just show you a new house.
Is it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
This it was a mansion. And and and the price was so low, and I'm like, I don't understand what's happening. And then I clicked through, and there's like, Indiana. But, oh, I got it now. Usually, that's West Texas.
You ever see the West Texas house?
Oh my god. Yes.
You know. Right? You're like
So jealous. Yeah. Yes.
How would you like to live in a mansion for $12? I would. Thank you. Where do I have to live? West Texas.
Oh, okay. Sounds dry.
Mean, I like warm weather. So
I'll tell you. I'm gonna south. If these people stop arguing with me, I'm going to Tennessee. Right. By these people, I mean my children and my wife.
My brother has a house in Tennessee.
Does he?
Yeah. He owns an Airbnb.
I seriously am thinking about leaving.
I am.
I can hook
you up.
Yeah. No. I don't mean for now. I'm I wanna leave. Like, I wanna sell my house and go there and live.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's it's nice.
Is it?
It's pretty. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Have you not been?
Yeah. I've been once. I went once, looked at a house, and said, that's fine. I'll stay here. Thank you.
I'm very easy to get along with.
Right. It's honestly, if you don't like snow, besides maybe once every few years, It's great.
Don't want snow.
Mild winters, mild summers from what I understand.
Yeah. That's what I'm looking for. Somewhere where some of my animals could live outside even maybe. Right, buddy?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I just like to live outside. He can't understand me. He's a dinosaur. But anyway, I'm sorry.
So a number of people come up to you in the hospital, say, hey. Give it a try. You're like, oh, hell. Okay. I guess I will.
And then what's the rest of the time in the hospital like? What happens when you get out? Do they start you with technology? I wanna know about that stuff.
So the hospital we were okay. So we were there admitted Saturday. We ended up being discharged Tuesday evening. I mean, it's a whirlwind of information, so it was like, ah. And I had it in my mind that, you know, she's gonna go back into DKA, like, as soon as we get home.
Like, ah, this is it was, you know, as with everyone, was very scary.
Frightening. Yeah.
We left with a Dexcom. Thank god. I don't like, when people talk bad about Dexcom, I almost take it personally because I'm like, this is, like that's my buddy. Like, stop talking about my buddy that way. I love my Dexcom.
Like, it's a lifesaver. So there for all the all the teaching, all the education, I end up my my sister is an ER doctor down in Indianapolis. Mhmm. And she was, like, the first person next to my kid's dad, the first person I contacted when we're in the hospital. And she's like, oh, like, did they say DKA?
I'm like, yeah. That's yeah. That would be basically the first thing they said. So she was, like, kind of a driving force of getting me into an endo down at Riley Hospital, which is, like, the big children's hospital in Indiana.
Mhmm.
And when when the diabetes educator of the hospital we were in was, like, trying to get us an appointment because they wouldn't let you discharge until you had an appointment with an endo.
That's probably good. No.
Yeah. Absolute like, I hear all these stories of them, like, hospitals just letting people go, and I'm like, that is not my experience.
They're like, you go see an endo. How am I supposed you'll figure it out.
And Yeah.
Yeah.
So they were like, oh, well, you can't get into Riley. That's usually, like, months wait. And I'm like, well, let me let me try. And so then, like, I got in touch with my sister and her one of her good colleague friends was the ER doc at Riley Hospital. And she's like, hey.
You need to get my sister's daughter in. And she just emailed the endo, and I was like, hey. Send them. Call them and set up an appointment. So they called me, and we got in that next week.
And it was when the educator at our hospital tried calling. It was like a four month wait. And they're like, you're not gonna get in. You're not gonna get in. I'm like, well, I have an appointment next week.
So A
four month wait. Yeah. That's really something, isn't it?
Because she was so young. Yeah. Because she was three and a half at the time. And there that was the closest that had a pediatric for under four. No one else would see her.
Like, that was local.
Mhmm. Did you have to travel? Almost. Do you still travel to go to Arundo?
Once we've been down there twice, but they're totally fine. Our like, my management has been, I think, stellar. Oh. So we've been doing Zoom.
And they're they're able
need blood work.
Yeah. I mean and they can do that locally where you are, really. You don't Yeah. Need to travel for that. What do you mean your the management's been stellar?
How long she had to hype on now? Year?
A year.
Okay. Yep. And and what what are outcomes like so far?
6.7 and 79% in Range34:21
Let's see. I wrote all this down because I knew you're gonna ask. So currently, her the GDI or whatever it is on Dexcom has her at 6.7.
Nice.
And we average around $1.44.
Wow. That's great. And she's
I'm in range
I'm
in range. 79%.
79. She's not in school right now yet. Right? No. Okay.
And you are you home with her?
Yes.
Yeah. I was gonna ask you, what did you do after the plumbing?
So I went from doing the manual labor to working at a plumbing wholesaler. So instead of installing toilets, I sold the toilets. Okay. And that is where I met my man. He was he was my boss.
Is he older than you?
A little bit. Is it in, six years?
It it like, six years. I was gonna say, is it was this inappropriate? Would HR not enjoy this if they heard about it?
At first, no. We actually I I worked there up until I had my first kid.
Okay.
The the diabetic. And we he was so terrified to contact his like, the own it's a family run. I mean, it's a big company in Indiana, but it's a family run. But he was very nervous to tell them that
He knocked up the girl that works at the front desk?
Yes. Basically. Yeah.
Worry. We did on purpose.
Right? Yeah. Basically. And they were something? No.
No. Okay. Okay.
No. But they were, like, totally, like, is it is it is this a healthy thing? Is this is this like, you're not gonna get in trouble. The company is not gonna get in trouble. And he's like, no.
Like, we're like, we've lived together since COVID. Like,
it's She's not here against her will.
We're going on, like, five years being together, and they're like, okay. Great.
Awesome.
Yeah. Us pictures.
Yeah. Leave us out of it. Thank you.
Basically. Basically.
Well, you know, the truth is is that and not to pivot in a really crazy direction, but I think a large percentage of people meet their mates at work.
How else do you meet people?
I don't know. Like, I I remember graduating from high school, and my cousin goes, well, that's the last time you'll meet a new girl. And I went, wait. What? And then I was like, oh, he's right.
Because we all work in a sheet metal shop, and there's not girls here. You know? Although I did briefly do something with the daughter of the girl that showed up at the lunch truck. So, I mean, I guess that's a work from patients.
Right. So
I don't feel like that's a thing I ever said out loud. But seriously though, like, it's it's hard, you know, like, to meet people. And then, you know, the the whole world leaned in a certain direction over the last couple of years. Now, like, suddenly, you're not able to talk to anybody or, you know, what if I offend someone or say the wrong thing? You know, in the end, I think it's if a if a handsome guy with some money talks to you, it's romantic.
And if a creepy guy or if if a pimply guy with no prospects talks to you, it's creepy. You you know, it's sometimes
A conversation for my brother.
Oh, why why? Is he creepy, or is he not?
No. He's not creepy at all. He's great. He's 50, and he's he's still he will be a forever bachelor. But he's come across the if he is friendly to a woman, then he's being, like, offensive and sexual harassment.
But he's like, how am I supposed to talk to people? Like
Yeah. No. No. No. We we I think we might have overcorrected in there a little bit.
Yeah. You know? And then and everybody complains nobody dates anymore. Like, well, you won't let anybody talk to anybody.
So Right. Yeah. Yeah.
It's gotta be a middle ground somewhere, which I assume we'll find soon once people are completely tired of dating apps, which has gotta be
The Internet goes away.
Yeah. Which has gotta be coming soon. Mean, nobody seems to everyone who you talk to does not enjoy them, But they feel like they have to use the the dating app. So
Yeah. That's luckily, I've never had to
Yeah.
Thankfully.
Yeah. Oh, no. Not you. You're you think like a boy. You probably just run out there and take over.
Right. Slap everyone on the
ass.
Yeah. Yeah. Hey.
Let's get going. Let's sell some toilets, if you know what I mean. So do you guys still work together,
or you're not you're not there anymore?
So this was this is a I don't know. Not a silver lining. Work perk, I suppose. I work part time from home. Same company.
You can sell toilet from the house?
I do, like, order entry stuff. So That's awesome. Good for you. Yeah.
Right. It's a nice little setup. Nice. How come my shower was tripping this morning? Once that it dripped is it the handle?
Did you so if it were me, I would turn it on and off Mhmm. Few times, like, aggressively. And if that didn't fix it, you probably have some dirt kept up in there.
Okay. Like, in the where this where the seal In
the handle.
In the handle. Mhmm. Mhmm. Alright. Well, if you live closer, I'd have you come out and take care of it.
I'm definitely not gonna do it because all I think of is, like, water just everywhere in the house.
Oh, I mean, it's a possibility.
Yeah. That could happen.
That's I so many people are like, oh, hey. Can you come over and do this? I'm like, no. No. I can't.
I am not insured. Mhmm. I am not licensed at this point. I will not touch any plumbing in your house because if something goes wrong, I will not be health licensed.
You're definitely gonna blame me. Sorry. And then what am I gonna do? Yeah. I hear you.
Okay. Well, okay. Kid comes home, has good ear. You feel like you're doing well. Tell me how you got to doing well.
Like, I mean, was the education at the hospital? Oh, wait. It's not it's just me?
I just had this just you.
Mhmm. This this happened the other day. I was explaining this to somebody. I'm like, I I genuinely ask. I wanna know what they heard in the hospital.
I wanna know all this. And then sometimes people are like, oh, I learned it with a podcast. And I was like, and it sounds like I'm asking, so they'll say that. But I really don't know what anyone's gonna say. So I'm glad that's the case.
Tell me how you figured it out then. What'd you do?
So I don't know. So the first I remember the first episode. I don't remember which one it was, but it was one where it was just like a like, someone talk you talking to me. Like, you're talking to a parent or whatever. And, like, the verbiage, I was like, mind you, this is day two.
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't I don't understand. I don't okay. This isn't for me. I don't maybe down the road. And then a buddy of mine who I used to work at the restaurant with, I had called him, like, that week because he's he's been he's type one, had been for probably around twenty years or so.
Okay.
And he's like, you really need to listen to the Juice Box podcast. Nope. You know, I tried, and it's not for me. He's like he's like, you have he's like, there's, like, the gold beginnings, and he's, like, listing down, like, the the list of the ones of the episodes. And I'm like, I don't know.
I'll try. And then he
oh. Are you are you ordering poem?
For it. I just thought you were ordering
a poi after typing.
Oh, no. That's my pen. Oh. It's just completely lost track of what I was saying.
Well, let me talk for a second because Sure. People who are like, yeah. Why don't you not talk as much? But that's fine. I just teared up.
Like, the idea that you were in Indiana and your kid gets diagnosed and multiple people in the hospital come up to you and kinda whisper in your ear, try this podcast. And then you try it, you don't have a good, you know, you know, it's not doesn't feel right for you, which I understand. And then you go to a friend who has type one and that's an adult. It's not a he's not a nurse, he doesn't work at the hospital, he's the guy living with type one IVs and he knows the show. And I really felt like, oh my god.
Like, I'm I really am doing a good thing. Like, it it's working because I can't tell if it's working from here. I don't know if that
It is.
Yeah. Yeah. But it's hard I don't know if that makes sense to people listening because, you know, I mean, if I if I if I owned a lawn mowing service, I showed up at your house. When I was done, I could look back and go, I cut the grass. Like, I see that I did it.
You you know, I Right. I can't see what's happening. And so to hear stories like this is is really fulfilling. So I appreciate you telling me this. Thank you.
Hey. Anytime.
No. So he talks you into it? He's like, stop thinking and do?
Yeah. Well, he was telling me this is where I lost my thoughts.
I got you back to it. Sorry, professor.
You did.
Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
He was trying to explain to me the tug of war. Mhmm. And I'm like, I don't like, I he kind of makes sense. But then I listened to the the episode, and I'm like, oh, I'll be okay. Okay.
Okay. So it made sense when I said it. Yeah. I've practiced. I know how to do it.
Yeah. Well, and I've listened to a lot of the series, like, since then, like, over and over because I find that once I, like, listen to it and, like, put it to practice, and then maybe a month later, go back and listen to it again. I'm like, okay. I get it even more.
Yeah. You hear something else that makes sense all of a sudden that didn't make sense for you. Yeah. No. I agree.
That is exactly how it works. So you are a podcast person?
Just this one.
Is there nothing else you're interested in learning about?
Tried other ones. I've really I've tried them. Well, I like this. Maybe I'll like another one.
Oh, but the people suck.
I can't, basically.
You know, I'm a talented communicator.
Yeah. You're a wordsmith. Mhmm. It's fun.
Thank you. I just laugh because I just I always imagine that somebody this is someone's first episode. And they're like, what a what an asshole. Right. Keep listening.
You'll learn to like me. Or you won't. And then you hate listening, that's good for me too. So whatever you need to do Right. It's alright with me.
Well, that's really wonderful. I'm I'm thrilled. So you what? You learned about getting settings? I mean, here's my here's my hope.
I hope that what you heard was nothing works without good settings, and I need to understand the impact of the food, and timing's really important, and then the rest of it just worked out for you.
I mean, that's the goal. Yeah. Settings, I think that we are I think we're pretty okay on settings right now.
Mhmm.
Bananas and the 40-Minute Pre-Bolus45:08
It's more with her being for Like, it's hard to pre bolus.
Yeah.
And when I do get to, it's like
How much easier this works?
Amazing. Like, I'm really good at bananas, surprisingly enough. Mhmm. Really good with bananas because she knows she has to wait about forty minutes that she wants a banana.
We're
gonna get this Everything else.
In the other direction, and then you're gonna eat this banana just so you know. Well Yep. Yep. That's so that's that's really great. Like, I I was just talking to the gentleman before me before you, where, like I said, he's got, like, a, you know, a 16 old.
And I said, you know, the best thing I can tell you about pre bolusing is if you're remembering to do it, you're scared because you're not sure what they're gonna eat, put a little bit in. And then as soon as you see the rest of it go in, then do it. Just having a tiny bit on your side is a big deal. You
know? Yes. Yeah.
I still can't get that through to my own kids sometimes. But by the way, pre ballsing is a difficult thing to to to remember to do even. You know?
Yeah. I feel like that is like, she'll eat peanut butter and jelly almost every day. I know that that's 25 carbs. And as like, I'm giving her the plate a lot of times. I'm like, goddamn it.
I forgot. I could have at least gotten a five minute pre bolus.
So but but and it's tough when you see the difference because there's a huge difference.
Yes.
Huge. And and it's you know? But you know. And I think that really is the most important part. You have the ideas down.
And if you don't get to do it every day, that's one thing. But knowing that you should be staying, you know, motivated to to do better and and and to to meet those kind of, like, measurements, you'll get there. You you know what I mean? You really will.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's
How does she handle the diabetes? Like, is it does it seem impactful to her?
Every three and ten days. What
do you mean?
So she well, whenever we have to she's on Omnipod.
Oh, I know. Sorry.
Sorry. I had to clear my throat.
You're fine.
So she she's fine, basically. I mean, we we poke her do it well, we do her toe, not her fingers. Mhmm. But, like, when we have to poke her toe to double check the Dexcom, she's she's the one that wants to do it. She's like, can I do it?
Can I do it? I'm like, hell, yeah. You can do it. Nice. I want you to do it.
But and she's gotten a lot better when we changed the pods. It was
Look at My Bump47:38
Scary for
I think yeah. Scary. I think it was more like this, like, clicking.
Then when the scene goes in? The anxiety because of
she let like, I I paint the pods with, like, acrylic paint markers and, like, make it look cute. She picks out her stickers.
Yeah.
She loves all that part, but just just the last couple weeks, she has not fought to change it. Like, it has for the last year, it has been
Easier.
Her dad holds her and hugs her, and she, like, screams every time we change a pod. But she was doing that MDI, so I'm like, well, I'll take the once every three days over the
Every time.
To seven times one day.
Yeah. And do you think it hurts her, or do you think she's scared?
I think she's scared.
Okay. And do you think with the clicking with the pump, it's the anxiety of, it's coming. It's coming. It's coming?
Yes. Okay. Yeah. I have been so I got one of those, like, percussional massagers. Mhmm.
To, like like, as I'm holding, like, pinching up the skin, like, I'll have her hold the massager on her leg to kinda divert the the feeling.
Oh, good idea.
And we have progressed from there to I just give her, like, a clicky pen Mhmm. And, like, have her hit her leg with the pen.
Okay. To kinda, like, make her more, like Yeah. Kinda give her practice at feeling about thinking about it.
Yeah. Yeah.
I it is not for me to tell you how Arden accomplishes her GLP shots, but I hope she'll come on here one day and explain it to you because there's a similarity to what you just said with the with the percussion thing.
Mhmm.
Yeah. Just kinda confuse your brain for a second.
Right. Yeah. Just divert the
The attention.
What's happening.
Yeah.
I do give my brother so my oldest brother, the 50 year old, he she loves him because he's just he's a funny guy. Like, he plays with her. She loves him. And we had to change her Dexcom and her pod while he was here a couple weeks ago. And it was the first time that she did not, like, lose her mind because she was like, watch.
Watch. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this.
Oh, she went to show him. Oh. Yes. Well, that's nice.
Like, she's very like, she's she seems afraid of the devices, but she seems to be also very proud of them. Because she's always whenever we're out in public and someone notices, she'll be like, look at my bump. She calls it a bump. Mhmm. She'll be like, look at my bump.
Look at my sticker on my bump.
Trying to share it with people too.
Yes. Oh, that's nice. Because we
don't healthy.
I try not to be negative about it around her because, you know
Sure.
They're sponges right now. So she doesn't really hear much negativity about the diabetes. It's more just, like, she doesn't like changing devices.
She doesn't like changing devices.
Mm-mm.
Okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's hard to blame her. I I I heard Arden. Arden went out last night with Kelly late.
I was like I was like, where are you guys going? And they said, we're getting going for salads. It was, like, 09:00. I'm like, oh, okay. And I don't really ask a lot of questions anymore.
I'm like, okay. Cool. And and they took off. They came back in the door, and I I'm like, Arden's, like, changing her pump. And I'm like, what happened?
She goes, my my pod expired. Like, blah blah blah. And she's, you know, stuck it on. I'm not looking at her. She's in another room, but I can hear her.
You know? And she just goes, oh, this one's gonna hurt. That's what she said. But I it was it's funny because she stuck it on and and somehow talked herself into believing that that was a bad spot that she put it. Mhmm.
It's interesting all that little psychological stuff that goes around the insertions of these things. I'm telling you, Mike, it's it's really fascinating Because she didn't she has no idea. Like, that's a senseless statement. Do you know what I mean? Like, if I just randomly put my hand on you somewhere and said, oh, do you think this, when we poke you with a needle, will hurt more or less here than usual?
How would you know? Which you know what I mean? Right. Like but she she had herself believing it would, and then I sat there kinda quietly, you know, during the insertion process. Like, I don't know.
It just seems disrespectful to make a ton of noise while somebody's trying to do something like that. Mhmm. And so, like, sat quietly, and it installed. And I didn't hear her say anything. And I thought, I wonder if it didn't feel the way she was going to or if it did, and she's muffling it.
And Mhmm.
I couldn't I didn't wanna ask her. Like, I didn't wanna, like, it just felt like it would have been the wrong time to ask. You know what I mean? Mhmm. But anyway, it's just I think it's all very interesting, like, the psychology around the insertions.
There's a lot more there than than probably people would expect. Well, anyway, that's cool. It's good that she's out showing people her stuff too. I think that's great.
Mhmm.
Yeah. How does it feel for you when she's putting on? Do you feel sad about it or anxious, or does it bother you?
I the only time I get feelings about the devices are, like because she's a four year old. She likes to run around with just her underwear on. Like, I will see, like, her her Omnipod and the Dexcom, and I'm like, I'm never gonna see her, like, extremities with no devices. Like, it's always gonna be there. Like, this is very sad.
But then she probably, like, kicks her sister or something, and that feeling goes away very fast. So
Well, here, maybe this all of you. Arden was she's it's it's the finals time. So she's here studying. Her boyfriend was here. He's studying or writing a paper for his final.
They're both seniors in college. And they're sitting next to each other on the sofa with their laptops. And Arden's pod is on her arm, right arm maybe. And he's sitting next to her, and I looked over and saw all that. And then I saw the pod.
And it was probably my first inclination to feel badly for her. But then I let that go and I said, this guy doesn't seem to care at all. You know? Like, here he's been here for a while now. And he he doesn't seem to have an opinion about it one way or the other.
And she doesn't she's not sitting there right now feeling like, oh, I'm sitting next to this boy, but I have this device on my arm. She's not thinking about that either. So it's more about I I mean, I I think it's much less about how it feels for you and more about what how it feels for her. I guarantee you I'm sure. Yeah.
She's probably not gonna care. You know? No. Interesting. How does your husband handle all this?
Or you're the guy that you're considering allowing you to marry you after you had to get That boy. Yeah. That boy.
He's it's he's a great dad, and he helps. He's a great dad and a great partner, but I am definitely the caretaker
Mhmm.
Which is fine. I hyper fixate on things more than he does. Like, he's only he's he came home from work to watch her. And, like, right now, her blood sugar is two eighty nine. And I have to, like, text him and be like, hey.
Bullis. Bullis. Bullis. Don't let it get that high. What are you doing?
Well,
he's like I He's almost 50. Right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
You're like, yeah. Threw him with an old guy, I didn't think about it like that. But now
Great.
But but but he's probably was he married previous to being with you?
He yes. He was actually, when we first started chit chatting, he was just finalizing his divorce.
Oh, are you a homewrecker? Yeah. No. No? No.
Okay.
No. Mm-mm. No. I met them I met him after.
Yeah. Afterwards. Very nice. That's what I would think though. And so but but does he have kids, other kids?
No. No? Okay. What's interesting? It's like because it's a late he's a late in life father then.
He and his ex wife had tried, but nothing ever came to fruition.
Oh. So Think that's part of the reason why they didn't make it?
I don't know.
Interesting. Don't ask too many questions?
That's I don't I don't think he completely knows.
Oh, someone told him to leave?
No. Like, I know. I think his wife got kinda weird. I don't I'm speculating on anything about Should she
become a plumber? No. What what do you mean? What weirdly?
Like, she got from what I have gathered, she kinda, like, got interested in, like, guns and, like, her personality really changed, I guess. Okay. I again, speculating, and I can say this because he won't listen to the podcast. He I I think she was cheating on him. But, again, speculation.
Oh, and then some boy got her into guns.
I think so.
I see. I think so. Do feel sad for him that he doesn't know? No. Are you happy to No.
I mean, it all worked out, man, for him.
Yeah. But yeah. Because you're so wonderful.
Yeah. Yeah. Like yeah. We've got two two great kids, one with a stupid chronic disease, the other one's a little psycho, and, you know, me who might be going through perimenopause. Not sure, but maybe.
You'll know when when when the ceiling fan is is is cooling the room to minus two, and you're like, it's so warm in here. And he's
Oh, yeah.
Hiding under the bed. My my wife the other it's now a running joke in my house that when we get in bed at night, I put the blanket over my head. Like, to keep the air off of me. It's, like, too it dries my eyes out.
I said, said, I'm
like, there's so much air. Like, what is it?
What is it? Know? Wind tunnel.
And the thermostat for the upstairs is in our room. So, like, nobody else is heated or cooled properly because our room is always reading it like, you know, frigid temperatures. So, you know, either the heat's running way too much for the rest of the house or the air conditioner never comes on for anybody else depending on the time of it. Right. And everyone's just very happy to think that this maybe will be over soon.
But it's been years now. Not been fun. Have you
I ugh. I'm not looking forward
to that. Don't forget to ask about the estrogen patches at some point if it becomes a thing.
I will. I'm already, I need to get on, like, the Lexapro kick. Like
Are you are you sad?
I get bouts of unexplained anger. Oh. Like
At who?
I also have
Go ahead.
Anyone. Does
it matter?
Anything. It could be the high chair that I just walked by and ran into, and I'm just like, this a metaphor. Get out of my way.
Is this, like, you think hormone shifting?
I think yes. Yes. Because I do not recall this before having children.
Tanya, ask about that estrogen badge. I don't wanna say this like this because it feels like it would be insulting if she heard it, but my wife is way more normal since she got one of those.
Yeah. But I'm totally for modern medicine, so I am
I mean
It's just the doctor.
Really nice the last years. God. Yep.
I Nothing wrong with that.
No. I'm the exact right and wrong person to make a podcast. I realized that just now. Like, the reason you're all listening is because, like, I can't believe you said that. That's awesome.
And and, also, it's gonna come back to bite me at some point. This is gonna be in a deposition one day.
I I saw nothing. I heard nothing. These these are AI voices. So Your
honor, he said I was more normal, and that's one of the reasons why I'm leaving. But now she's just god. Every word I reach for seems wrong, but she just seems more balanced. Like, less highs and lows kinda thing.
Yep. Yeah. I I believe it. I know many well, not many. I know enough women that have been on one medication or another, and it's like, wow.
Yeah.
You're a really great person now.
It's like I remember hating you before.
Go there for a while.
There's this lady in my town. This is, like, 10 years old, but there's no way she'll hear this. But she was just, like she was just a bitch on wheels. Like, nobody liked her. She was she was just nasty.
Like, about everything in every situation all the time. Like, times when it just wasn't called for or even necessary. Mhmm. She did a she did an apology tour after she found out she had hypothyroidism and got on thyroid medication.
Oh, wow.
She went around the town and, like, met people and was like, hey. I'm super sorry for how I was before, but turns out my thyroid was super imbalanced, I feel much better now.
The Apology Tour1:01:04
I did an apology tour to every person I knew that was type one diabetic.
Oh, how many was that?
Let's see. One, two, three. At least five people that I was, like, actively friends with in the last thirty years.
Wow. Where do you live near? A power plant? What's going on there?
I don't know. And so one of the girls that she is a diabetes educator, actually, through the hospital through my Endos hospital. And I've known her since high school. She was diagnosed in the eighties when she was, like, two
Mhmm.
Two and a half maybe. But, yeah, she was the first person, like, diabetic that I contacted. I'm like, Amy, I'm sorry. I don't like, she played sports in high school. Like, I remember seeing her pump and, like, you know, I remember seeing her do things like shots and or, like, the pump or, you know
Yeah.
Finger sticks. And I've been like, I I had no idea. Like, I had no idea. I thought it was just like, you carry insulin, you carry sugar. You take one or the other.
Like, who knew?
Did she seem
to Who knew?
Did she seem to appreciate that?
Yes. Everyone that I have and then it's few people through the years that I've known, and I have, like, reached out. And I'm like, I'm so sorry for, like, downplaying it. Like, I had an aunt, but, like, she was two or I was two when she died. So I don't like, I remember her presence, not so much her.
Yeah.
I remember her seeing eye dog. Mhmm.
Cool dog, probably.
Yeah. What was his name? Arthur.
Arthur.
Yeah. But, yeah, I have apologized to every diabetic that I know, and I'm like, I just I didn't know. Like, I apologize for the downplay.
Like Well, you didn't do it to the face
of the what you don't know.
Yeah. But you
didn't No. Not at all.
This is this was in your own mind.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is totally a me thing.
Yeah. With
no one else.
Good to hear, though. Like, so now all of us are listening thinking, like, oh, everyone is thinking this.
Right.
Maybe. Which is probably not true, everyone. But I bet you more people than you think are Yeah. Are downplaying it in their minds, and they're like, oh, they complain all the time about nothing. It's just this.
You know?
Right. Yeah. Like, oh, your blood sugar is high. Like
Yeah. Stop complaining. You're like, I can't Yeah. I'm dizzy.
Oh, you get to drink you get to eat sugar. Oh, it must be tough.
Yeah. Look who's complaining about getting chocolate in the middle of the day.
Yeah. Yeah.
No. No. I I see I can see how that could be. Well, that's nice of you to do. It didn't take you long to figure that out.
No.
I mean, it was within a week or two of being discharged from the hospital, and I was like, yeah. I need to throw some words out there.
Good for you. It's very nice. Well, what I know this is seems late as we've been talking for an hour now, but was there a reason you wanted to come on, or have we hit the reason? Or have I missed anything?
An Ounce of Hope1:03:58
I'm sure. I don't know. I think the main the only reason main reason is to give an ounce of hope to, like, the new the new diagnoses that you don't have to be, like, a veteran of diabetes to, like, get good management. Like, we're not perfect, but, like, the being bold part is, like, I like, again, her blood sugar right now, two seventy one going angled down. But, like, if I were downstairs, I'd probably give her, like, one and a half units just to, like, let's get this going.
Like, stop being so high all the time. Like, you don't like, just do it. Yeah. What the afraid. What the fuck?
You know
Go ahead. I'm sorry. Don't be afraid.
You know how to fix it. Right? Like, if you you can you know how to fix it. Like, have a juice box. If you get too low, like, trust the process.
Yeah. Just be a little bold and Yeah. And and have have enough tools to stop a problem and but don't sit and stare at don't sit and stare at terrible blood sugar results.
Yeah. Don't sit at look at it and be like, ugh. Why is it doing this?
Mhmm.
Why? Why? Just fix it and then figure it out later. Like, just do it. Just do it.
I'm glad you've come away with that. And that your a one c, especially a year end with a, like, a young kid like that is fantastic.
Yeah. I can't wait until we can get her, like, on a normal like, she eats normal foods on a normal basis.
Yeah. What pump is she using? Wonderful. Omnipod. But Omnipod five or Omnipod dash?
Five. Five. Yeah. I
I'll tell you that's getting a zhuzh up pretty soon.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. The Omnipod five algorithm is close to being updated.
Oh, really?
I think that's the thing you probably shouldn't tell anybody I told you.
I mom's the word.
Trying to think about what I've said and done and been told. Anyway, it's common. They're gonna lower have they said this out loud? Hold on. Hold on a little bit.
Let me let me just just check here. I've signed a number of NDAs in my lifetime. I don't wanna Bro. I don't wanna be on the wrong side of any of them. Let's see if I can substantiate if they've said that.
There's no way they haven't said this out loud. Yeah. This is their website. Right? Hold on.
Yeah. They announced that insulin announces FDA five ten k clearance of Omnipod five algorithm enhancements that redefine insulin delivery and simplify the bot experience. New 100 target glucose setting offers more custom offers more customization and tighter glucose management. Enhanced algorithm, helps users remain in automated mode to improve their user experience. But, know, sometimes you get kicked out of automated.
I think that's what it's talking about. Hold on. Most requested new features enable health care providers to more effectively modify diabetes therapy to meet needs of people with diabetes. That sounds like a lot of PR talk. I know the person that wrote that.
She's a talented writer. But, actually, if you saw me in a a commercial for them recently where I talked about
I did.
Yeah. That. The girl that wrote that, and she's so good. Everybody's given me a ton of credit. They're like, you seem so natural.
Like, you have no idea what she wrote was so like she wrote in my voice. And like, she's really good. You know? I I I won't say her name on her, but I I'm a big fan of hers. So anyway, yeah.
It seems like it's online. So what I will tell you is that you're gonna be able to target 100, that they've made enhancements to the algorithm, and that I expect that should be out pretty damn soon. Is Go ahead.
Is it still gonna be the Omnipod five, or is this like
No. That'll be on that's Omnipod five with just the zooshed up algorithm. Cool. I will say this. It this the interweb says Insulet announced that the next generation Omnipod six will launch in 2007.
With clinical studies and FDA clearance is targeted for 2026, which means it's in testing now. The updated system will feature a universal pod compatible with all major continuous glucose monitors and advanced adaptive learning algorithms. So it sounds like they're gonna zhuzh it again in 2027. That nice?
It is nice.
Yeah. I I
It makes me think of so my friend that is the diabetes educator, when she was diagnosed, her parent the doctors had told her parents, like, basically, she's not gonna live to her twenties.
They say that
She is in her four
Wait. Who did they say that to?
The her parents when she was in the when she first got diagnosed.
Okay.
Like, two years old. And they're like, don't expect her to live to her twenties. But now when we were diagnosed, there were so many people that are like, oh, now is the best time to have diabetes. You couldn't have picked a better time. Okay.
Thanks.
What about next year? Comic pod six is available. Would that have been a better month?
Yeah. Yeah. Kidding.
They take their point, though. Like, you know
Yes. No. I do. And it's it's like, I technology, I love it. Like, I can't imagine.
I cannot imagine doing this without it.
Yeah. No. I I hear you. I think it's gonna be I think these things are gonna continue. Hopefully, these companies all stay solvent and, you know, and their the the fight between them for dominance continues because that's I think the only thing that keeps them, you know, innovating is the idea that somebody else is gonna get ahead of them.
So, you know, have them out there fighting with each other and making better stuff, and and hopefully, that stuff will help everybody. Be pretty awesome if Yep. If at some point, you know, AI gets a little more involved and maybe you can start making adjustments, you know. May maybe there will be an algorithm that makes adjustments on the fly, and it's not just reactive to, you know, the way it works right now. Mhmm.
I think it's really it's a, you know, exciting time for sure. It's hard to say you picked the best time because it just sounds like
I know.
It sounds like, well, no. I should have picked no time if I was picking.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But that's really, really give
it to myself,
not her. Yeah. Can I tell you that I get so many bizarre emails, and then you don't answer them, and they just keep emailing? Really? Hi, Juice Box podcast.
Type one diabetes. Oh. I wanted to send you one final note, which means I've already emailed you three times regarding our neuroscience and yoga conference encore. I completely understand the timing or fit isn't right. I mainly wanted to close the loop and be sure you had the opportunity to take a look if it's felt aligned to share with your community.
Please tell stuff up please tell your people about stuff that we're doing that we charge money to people for. This is my whole day. It's, like, ignoring people who want to take advantage of you guys.
You sound like a big deal, mister diabetes.
I might be. But that's not the point. The point is please stop emailing me because I'm not gonna email you back, and you're really you're bothering me. And as soon as I teach my my my overlord how to, like, just completely take you out of here.
To scan your emails?
I just swear to you, I get I get bombarded with people who are like, I wrote a book. I did a thing. I made an app. This lately, this kid, boy, every way you can contact a human being, this kid has tried to contact me. Okay?
Yeah. I've made an app. I'm like, I I'd like god bless you. I hope your app helps people. I hope it's I don't wanna I don't wanna know about it.
Like like, it just if it works, come tell me then. Don't tell me about the thing you just launched that you're like, you I've been at this a long time. This is the nine millionth app somebody's told me is gonna change the face of diabetes for people. And then I ignore it, and then they come at me from a different way. Then they try DMing, then they try this thing, and then they have somebody in their family do it.
They try to post in the Facebook group. It gets blocked. They come in with another account, try to do it. It's just exhausting. Just stop.
Like, I hope your app is awesome. I wish you a ton of success. You're not selling it through my audience. Like, that's not gonna happen. So, you know, because so what?
So 50 of you, a 100 of you can take a flyer on this app? That that person makes a bunch of money, and then the app falls apart six months from now, and it's gone like every other one of them ever has? I've I've seen apps by bit like, backed by companies that don't last. Like, you in your living room, like, you make it work and then tell me about it. Come back and tell me I've I've 10,000 users.
Then I'll say, well, let me hear about your app because that sounds valuable to people. Anyway and I know you wrote a children's book. Leave me alone. Okay?
I'm happy Facebook page. Put it on the Facebook page.
Don't do that either. You're not allowed to do that either.
Oh, yeah. That's true. You're not
can't sell in the Facebook group. It's not a fucking billboard. It's a Facebook group to help people with their diabetes.
Or they can start their own Facebook group.
Yeah. Do that. Leave me alone. Yeah. I've written a book about beeping.
I'm like, ugh. Again? You're the ninetieth person to do that. What a unique, good idea you've had. But by the way, like, I I genuinely, like, one on one, if you came up to me on the street like, hey.
Wrote a children's book. I'd be like, that's really cool, and I'd be interested in hearing more about it. But it's not a podcast episode. You know? Right.
It's a thing you say once for three seconds, then I go, okay. Now what do we do? So, you know, the what do we do for the next fifty nine minutes? Anyway, I don't like peep you know, listen. It it's not here to, like, shill too.
I heard you do plenty of shilling with the with the advertisers that you don't need more.
Oh, right. Yeah.
It would say it
I don't skip through those ever.
Thank you. I really I I listen. Truth be told, like and I I work with some really great people. People who are out there really fighting for you guys behind the scenes, you would have no idea and you probably don't believe it. They're really working really hard.
Especially some companies are loaded with type ones in their departments. And so people are out there really trying hard. And they're lovely people, etcetera. But if you asked me, if you gave me a magic wand and said, you like to make the podcast with or without ads? I'd say, oh god, without, please.
Like, you know, like it's a whole like like, most of my life is spent, you know, talking to advertisers and and then setting up business arrangements and making sure that they're happy and, you know, making sure that I can keep making the podcast. It's it's a lot, and I don't wanna be doing it.
It's a necessary evil.
Yeah. It also doesn't change the podcast at all. Like, the content side of it, like, I'm not doing anything differently. I mean, can you imagine if this is me tamped down? So, like, you know, I'm not doing anything differently or holding my tongue on anything.
So does that part doesn't matter to me. It's just the rest of it. The you send it I got a note the other day. It's May 14. I got a note the other day from one of my advertisers, and I sent them an invoice in on January 2.
Oh, jeez.
It's not paid yet. I'm still I gotta pay my I got I still my electric bill comes every month. You know what I mean? And and Mhmm. And then you're just like, hi.
Are you gonna pay this invoice? Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's coming. It's coming. Okay. Or somebody reaches out and they're like, hey. We wanna buy ads.
I'm like, that's great. Like, you know, there's time considerations. We don't have a lot of space left. Like, this is gonna be and you don't hear back from them. Like, six weeks later, they're like, hey.
We're ready to go. I'm like, wait. Well, now I'm not ready.
Start the process over, guys. Come on.
Start over. Like, the podcast is made in advance. Like, there's an episode that's up today that, you know, was probably I probably put it online four weeks ago, and it sits in a queue and waits for its turn to go up. Like, you can't put an ad on that one. You needed to put an ad on that one eight weeks ago, not today.
So then they're like, well, we want our ads to start running in June. I'm like, well, then you should have reached out in April. But you know this already because we've worked together in the past. And then suddenly, it's like, anyway, all that I'm not complaining. Like, I used to work in a sheet metal shop.
You you've been a bummer. You know what I'm talking about. Like, it's Mhmm.
Oh, yeah.
I'm fine with it. Like but it's just like, ugh. It's a lot. Like and and it's not their fault either, by the way. They're they've got stuff on their end that's holding them up and and whatnot.
But, nevertheless, this I'm not our can you imagine if I was complaining about making a podcast, Jack? And maybe I'm an asshole. I mean, honestly, like, it's so easy, like, compared to, like, a real like, a real job. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Mhmm. Can
I ask you a question? I feel like we're done. Sure. So I'm gonna ask you a question real quick.
Okay.
Because you're pretty newly diagnosed.
Mhmm.
If I were to put, like, a twenty one day kinda self guided thing together to help you through the pro tip series. You think you would have used that? Like, once a day, like, got a little, like, affirmation, a little thing to think about, got you ready for the next day, and then you just step through it at your own pace.
Yeah. Absolutely.
That would have helped. I'm not gonna charge for it. Like, I know people are like, oh god. He's trying to find a way to make money. Like, I'm absolutely free.
Like, I'm not I'm not I wouldn't ask any.
I don't know if it would have been, like, more or less help, but at this point, like, anything I think it changes so often. Like, the diabetes changes so often that anything any new tip that I can, like, try to soak in and help you.
Even just to, like, be I think it's very I don't know. I I what I'm trying to do is, like I don't know. I'm not trying not to out anybody. I certainly think people should be able to make a living any way they want to. But there are people selling coaching stuff for diabetes.
It's really expensive.
And Oh, yeah.
And there's it it's just they they don't know anything different than I know. You know what mean? And Yeah. Or that anybody else knows or that you maybe couldn't figure out by googling. If you try at this point, you Google.
The podcast pretty much is where where Google's getting it from. So, like, you can get it anywhere you want, really. But but in the end, it seems like they're charging people to hold their hand. And and I again, I don't like that idea. Like, I I prefer if you got to keep your money because diabetes is already tough enough.
And and so I I thought, well, why don't I just set something up that does that, but then just not charge anybody for it? Just let them have it.
I mean Yeah. Why gatekeep?
I well, I mean, I have bills, but, like, I I I make money. I'm okay. Like, I don't need to make more. You you know what I mean? Like, I don't need another dollar from I mean, there are times I I well, as I I daydream about what if everybody just sent $5 one time, and then I could just maybe move to an island.
But that's fine. That that's not what I'm I don't want that.
Hint hint, everybody.
What are you doing? Put some money in the mail. My god. Right. No.
But although somebody told me recently what they paid for coaching, and I was like, stop in the middle of the conversation. I'm like, everyone send me $40 right now. This is ridiculous.
Right. I was like, how much are they making?
But I just think it's, you know I don't know. I I worry that somebody wouldn't use it. But the idea would be that you kinda like join a class, and you start when you wanna start. And every day, you get an email for, like, 21 days. And that email just kinda lays a little idea out for you.
You know, gives you a little bit of an affirmation, a thing to think about. And and the episode will list too if you want, but you don't even have to, and then just take that into the next day and, you know, do a noticing, an affirmation, you know, an optional deeper dive, and then on and on and on like that to kinda help walk you through the kind of the big ideas of the podcast in the pro tip series, for example.
Yeah. I think as a newbie, that would probably be because I I didn't know at the very beginning, like, where to start. I mean, bold beginnings, that wasn't obvious enough. But Mhmm. Go ahead.
Apparently, at the time, I think that would be if you had something like that aimed towards, like, the the newly diagnosed Yeah. It would be very I mean, yes, bold beginnings is very obvious. But and I think your website's different now than what it was
I've changed
year ago.
It's much better now.
And Yes.
It's yeah. And I just actually, just had added, like, a clinician share portal to it so, like, doctors can go to this one link and print out handouts or so I just went to it so I could look at it. But I could click here, print a handout for a patient. It'll it'll print the bold beginning series. I could also click email, text, or copy and get that same information texted, emailed, or copied.
So the doctors who are, like, trying to share it with people but are end up, like, whispering into their ear or telling to go find something Yeah. They could actually give this to you now. And it's it's it's a very simple thing to do. And and then if you scroll down farther, every series in the podcast offers that same sharing thing at the bottom. But at the top, it's bold beginnings, pro tips, small sips, defining diabetes.
That's it.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, hopefully, people will try it. I don't know. But I'm thinking maybe maybe I'm gonna add this this bit to it about the the walkthrough. So I'm in the middle of it.
I'm kinda crafting it right now, so we'll see. But I appreciate your feedback.
Great idea.
Thank you. I'm full of good ideas. I just am by myself.
You're kinda smart.
I am. Don't tell people.
Kinda. Kinda.
Don't tell people. It's embarrassing.
I'm not.
Alright. Listen. Melissa, you were fantastic. I appreciate you doing this for me.
Thank you.
Mhmm. Good luck with the kid and the marriage. When are we getting married?
August 22.
Oh, big thing? Which
Yeah. Kinda. I mean, like, 150, 180 people ish.
Sounds big to me.
Yeah. I like that. Expensive.
It's expensive. Yeah. Tell them to bring money, but say don't yeah. I don't need a dish. I need I need I need a couple $100 in that card.
Basically.
Cover your meal plus a little more people. You know how to do
it. Yeah. It's like $35 a head. Come on. Just
Is that what it costs? Money.
Yeah. That's kinda like the low end.
Okay. I think then I I would play. If you're bringing two people, it's $200 per card.
Yeah. Yeah. Something like that.
You think they're gonna cheap out because you're adults?
My parents are.
Your parents are like, we spent that money already, honey. I gotta be honest with We didn't think you were getting married.
Basically. Yeah. Yeah. We all I mean, I'm in my forties. My sister, she got her first kids when she was 38 also.
You guys are all doing it like that?
Well, just me and her, my brothers. There's none that they know of.
Yeah. You're saying your brother the the ladies don't they don't they don't come in too close.
They wonder because he's, again, in his single in his fifties.
You think they wonder if
he's gay? Marriage. I don't know.
I mean, they thought you were probably.
I yeah. Maybe it's
I mean, a 100%.
Right? Maybe it's a family thing. I
don't know. You're like you're like, I'm getting married. And your dad looked at your mom, went, oh my god. And then handed her $10, and you realized he lost the bet.
Oh, my dad said, when are you getting married in the Catholic church? I'm like, ow.
Really? It's still bad? I got two kids with that. Well, I'm not married. We we we gotta pretend on that still?
Yeah. There's a lot of hypocrisy with that one. How old is he? 83.
Oh, hell. You just better hurry up and get married.
Yeah. Well, that's basically the reason we're doing it because Oh my god. My parents are both so old. I'm like, well, I wanna have, like, wedding pictures with them. But now I don't even know if my dad's gonna come to the ceremony because No.
He's because it's against his religion.
Are you serious?
Maybe. It's possible.
Here's a question I have. I'll leave you all with this as you go off onto your day. What the is wrong with everybody? There.
Right?
Yeah.
Cheese. Right?
Christ. But it one life. You get one life. Okay? Yeah.
That's what you're gonna do? Unbelievable. Alright. I hate you all.
Alright. I'll see you. Basically.
Alright. Hold on one second. Okay?
K.
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