#1836 Chris vs. Life - Part 1
Chris shares his 38-year type 1 diabetes journey , overcoming a 1980s diagnosis , family abandonment , severe drug addiction , and near-fatal DKA to build a professional auto racing career.
Companies that Support Juicebox
Key Takeaways
- Early Diabetes Care Was Drastically Different: In the late 1980s, type 1 diabetes management involved rigid schedules using Regular and NPH pork insulin, thick syringes, and cumbersome glucometers requiring physical coding and calibration solutions.
- Diagnosis Impacts Family Dynamics: A childhood diagnosis can profoundly affect family structure; in Chris's case, it brought his estranged mother and grandmother closer together temporarily to provide the necessary medical support.
- Adolescent Burnout Can Be Severe: Struggling with shifting home environments, Chris hid his diabetes to avoid feeling different, demonstrating how social pressure and lack of stability can lead to deep diabetes burnout and neglect.
- Substance Abuse Rapidly Escalates Diabetes Risks: Heavy drug use, like methamphetamines, and subsequent reliance on alcohol completely masked diabetes management, quickly driving Chris into life-threatening Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA).
- Resilience and Second Chances: Despite hitting rock bottom and relying on over-the-counter insulin without modern technology for decades, Chris managed to turn his life around, build a successful career in professional auto racing, and eventually establish a stable, healthy family life.
Resources Mentioned
- Juice Box Podcast Small Sips: Available wherever you get your audio.
- Eversense 365 CGM: eversensecgm.com/juicebox
- Tandem Mobi / Control-IQ Plus: tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox
- US Med: usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514
- Juice Box Podcast Facebook Group: Search "Juice Box Podcast, Type 1 Diabetes" on Facebook.
- Wrong Way Recording (Podcast Editing): wrongwayrecording.com
Introduction & Sponsors
Scott BennerWelcome back, friends. You are listening to the Juice Box podcast.
ChrisHi. My name is Chris. I've been a type one diabetic for thirty eight years, and I'm excited to talk to Scott.
Scott BennerIf you'd like to hear about diabetes management in easy to take in bits, check out the Small Sips. That's the series on the juice box podcast that listeners are talking about like it's a cheat code. These are perfect little bursts of clarity, one person said. I finally understood things I've heard a 100 times. Short, simple, and somehow exactly what I needed.
Scott BennerPeople say small sips feels like someone pulling up a chair, sliding a cup across the table, and giving you one clean idea at a time. Nothing overwhelming, no fire hose of information, just steady helpful nudges that actually stick. People listen in their car, on walks, or rather actually bolusing anytime that they need a quick shot of perspective. And the reviews, they all say the same thing. Small sips makes diabetes make sense.
Scott BennerSearch for the Juice Box podcast, small sips, wherever you get audio. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I'm having an on body vibe alert. This episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by Eversense three sixty five, the only one year wear CGM.
Scott BennerThat's one insertion and one CGM a year. One CGM, one year. Not every ten or fourteen days. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Today's episode is also sponsored by the Tandem Mobi system, which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus Technology.
Scott BennerTandem Mobi has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages two and up. Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. The podcast is also sponsored today by usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. US Med is where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from, and you could too. Use the link or number to get your free benefits check and get started today with US Med.
Interview Begins: 38 Years of Type 1
ChrisHi. My name is Chris. I've been a type one diabetic for thirty eight years, and I'm excited to talk to Scott.
Scott BennerOh, well, Chris, I am Scott. So this is gonna work out perfectly.
ChrisGood.
Scott BennerThirty eight years seems like a chunk of time to me.
ChrisYeah. It's, I want don't wanna say it's flown by, but certainly between 1987 when I was diagnosed to now, oh, what Type one's gotten a little bit more complicated and easier to manage, I think, all in one.
Scott BennerReally?
ChrisI had let's see. So when I was diagnosed, my grandmother pretty much raised me as a child. My mom and dad split up early.
Scott BennerOkay.
ChrisFive years old was when mom and dad kinda went different directions. My mom worked at a bar, and my dad was in and out, traveling through different states and countries for his job, and I didn't see him that much in my early childhood days.
Scott BennerOh, Chris, I'm sorry. When you said they went in their opposite directions, I thought you meant from each other, but you meant from you and each other.
ChrisYes. Yeah. Correctly. Gotcha. Yeah.
ChrisCorrect. Yeah.
Scott BennerGotcha.
ChrisAnd so my grandmother raised me, from the time jeez. I can't remember from that time all the way until all the way until I kinda got on my own kinda thing.
Scott BennerOkay. And you were diagnosed at what age?
Chris10. 10.
Scott BennerOkay. So you're 48. You're 48.
ChrisMy tenth my I'm 48. Okay. My tenth birthday, I was in the hospital.
Scott BennerNo kidding.
ChrisHow does that
Scott Bennerhappen to so many people?
ChrisI don't know. Yeah. I I don't know, but I'm going back to my grandmother. My grandmother had a brother that was type one. And one evening, pretty normal day, I'm going to the refrigerator.
ChrisLet me get some water. Let me drink some water. Let go to the bathroom. And this cycle just kept going. I mean, and this I remember it almost to the tee, and I'm pretty certain that I was grabbing everything in my grandma's refrigerator to drink aside from, you know, anything like ketchup or mustard.
ChrisRight? But I'm pretty certain that I downed a, Seagram's, wine cooler too.
Scott BennerJust it not it didn't matter. Thirst was thirst.
ChrisNo. I just wanted something liquid, and she caught wind of what was going on, and she goes, you're diabetic. And I'm like, I was terrified. I I was like, I just I don't know. I feel I felt horrible.
ChrisFollowing day this was the evening. The following day, after the hospital, went and grandma was right.
Scott BennerYeah. And she knew because I'm sorry. Who in her family has it?
ChrisHer brother.
Scott BennerHer brother. And is she your father's mother?
ChrisShe is my mom's adopted mom.
Scott BennerOkay.
ChrisSo my mom my mom was adopted, from my grandmother, obviously. How that works.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. No. Yeah.
ChrisIf you you don't you don't need to be a genius figure out.
Scott BennerWe should take a left turn and explain adoption to everybody now. No. No. Anyways, I'm
ChrisThat's okay. I'm trying to fill in the pieces correctly.
Scott BennerYou're doing a good job, man. Don't worry about it. Okay. So she's your your mom's adopted mother Yes. And Her brother Wait.
ChrisWas a was a type one.
Scott BennerBut that's insane though because Mhmm. Because there's no blood connection to your grandmother's brother. Correct. Oh, so it's possible your grandmother is a totem that gives people type one diabetes. Is that what you're telling me?
ChrisThat's what it could be. Mhmm. I mean, it's possible. I don't know if I would wanna claim that.
Scott BennerI've seen the movies. I know what's going on.
ChrisRight. Well, that's
Scott Bennerwow. That's really something. Yeah. That's so I'm so glad you put that little piece in because that that was a that's an interesting little tidbit there. Okay. Yeah. So she knows what it looks like because she, you know, extensively grew up with a brother who had type one.
ChrisYep. And she knew that whole peeing and and and drinking thing.
Scott BennerYeah. And you were diagnosed, I'm gonna tell you, right around the time my buddy Mike was diagnosed. And you're you're a little younger than we are Yep. By by about six years, but still, like, the timing's there.
ChrisUh-huh.
Scott BennerThis is where your statement about it's gotten easier and harder comes in. Right? Because Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So tell people a little bit about what what it was like being diagnosed at 10, how you manage yourself early on, where you were getting your support from, if any.
Diagnosis & Early Diabetes Care in the 80s
ChrisI'm in the hospital. I'm terrified I'm gonna have to poke myself for the rest of my life with a needle because needles are all evil. And then I started you know, the nurse came in and the usual stuff, inject the orange, inject the nurse with water.
Scott BennerWait. They had you they had you inject the nurse with saline?
ChrisYep. At the time, they were really big on pinching and finding the pocket Okay. Right, for the needle to go in, which you don't really do anymore for but needles were longer and larger, and it was a syringe back then. So it was a big thing that they were teaching me on. You grab your index and your thumb and you and you pinch, and then in the middle of that pinch is a pocket.
ChrisThat's where you put the needle, and that's where the fat is, and that makes it feel the best.
Scott BennerOh, wow. Did that work?
ChrisSeem like it.
Scott BennerI'm gonna I'm gonna try it the next time I inject myself or something.
ChrisYeah. I mean, you have to be kind of at a 45 degree angle, but that makes it the easiest without going into a muscle or hitting the nerve or something like that.
Scott BennerSo this was wrapped around the fact that the needle was larger than you see now in an insulin needle?
ChrisOh, for sure. Yeah.
Scott BennerOkay. So I'm sorry. I'm gonna get stuck on this for a second. Like, they just came in
Chrisfor it.
Scott BennerYou're 10 years old. They came in the room. They're like, hey. This is Patty. Go ahead and jab this jab her with this. They're like, what? Did she lose rock, paper, scissors in the hallway or something? Like, how did how did she you know what I mean?
ChrisI have no I have no idea, but having a 10 year old with a syringe in his hand, I remember it was it was in her arm. I was in the hospital bed. She sat down, and she goes, we're gonna try this orange. This is what it's gonna feel like. Mhmm.
ChrisAnd then we're gonna inject me. And I'm like, are you are you crazy? I can't even bear to get a needle into myself, let alone, you know, what's going on here. And I remembered that they they taught me to turn it to where the edge of the needle is, you know, facing like a fish hook kind of thing. Right?
ChrisSo you then I just she drew in some saline, and I injected her with it. And I thought it was the cry was shaking. I remember I was shaking. I couldn't do it. I was crying.
Scott BennerImagine. Doesn't it add another level to it to do it to somebody else. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah. Hey. If anyone out there was a nurse at the time this was happening and let kids do this, then please reach out. I would I'd be ecstatic to speak to you on the podcast.
ChrisYeah. I think it's and I and I think it's interesting because you were blown away by it, and to me, it seemed normal.
Scott BennerNo.
ChrisYeah. But I've never heard anybody else say I've I've heard the fruit stuff.
Scott BennerBananas and oranges, usually.
ChrisYeah. Yeah. I've heard that just to get a feel for the for the skin, but, I mean, I I've never heard any nurse go. It's almost twelve. I may as well sit here.
Scott BennerGo ahead, kid. Yeah. Take your best whack at it. Like, that well, that's really something. I bet you she had a lot of problems. I just wanna say that.
ChrisWell, I don't know. It's just that was a long time ago. So
Scott BennerAnyway, okay. So you're in the hospital. This is how they're teaching you to take care of yourself. Are you Yep. What's the what's the insulin setup at diagnosis?
ChrisInsulin setup is NPH and regular. These were pork at the time, and I cannot remember my blood my decks my my glucometer at the time, but I do remember that I had to put codes in.
Scott BennerOkay.
ChrisSo the the strips you would get, you would get a machine and you would get a a strip package or actually just like a jar like they are now. Mhmm. And it would have a code on the back. But you'd have to enter that code in before it would read any of these strips in that bottle.
Scott BennerRight. Did you have to do the, the solution? My god. What did they call it? The used to have to, like, test the solution once in a while to calibrate it. Right?
ChrisYep. It was this whole this whole kit, and then in the kit that I had for that was also my
Scott BennerThe lance?
ChrisThe lance. And then I and that also too, I had the emergency
Scott BennerOh, they gave you
Chrisshot to which was down there. Yeah. It was a it it looked like something out of a horror movie. It was it was a glass syringe. It was in a red container Yeah.
ChrisAnd it had half fluid drawn in it, and I was supposed to do another thing and jam it wherever it would go.
Scott BennerIsn't that fun? And you you don't recall what that thing was you were supposed to do?
ChrisI don't remember what it was, but I remember you needed to mix it before you could use it, and it was a glass syringe, and I hated looking at it.
Scott BennerYeah. You would take the the syringe had the the fluid in. This was the the red box from Lilly. Right? So the syringe Correct.
Scott BennerIt was a big needle too.
ChrisYeah. Oh, yeah. It was a honker.
Scott BennerSo you were supposed to inject the liquid into the powder, and the powder was in a vial. Yep. And then you're supposed to spin it in your hands till it kinda constituted, then draw it back out, then find, I think, a muscle like your butt or something like that and jam that needle in and throw it in there.
ChrisYeah. And this is all while you're, you know, going through a coma or, you know, have pass out on the floor.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. This is either obviously not for you to do because you're probably having a seizure while it's happening, but some lucky person in your family trying to stay calm and doing it at the same time. I'll I'll tell you that when Arden was a few months diagnosed, this happened to us. And I
ChrisI remember I know the story.
Scott BennerYeah. I failed miserably trying to put that Lilly thing together. I'm very happy she carries those, ChivoC hypo pens around now. So Yes. Yeah.
Family Dynamics & Shifting Homes
Scott BennerAnyway okay. So this is the setup. You're scared, and and you are now home with your grandmother. And is she is she this is interesting because she's two generations away from you. So
Scott BennerIs she, like, all, you'll be fine. Good luck, or does she jump in to help? Like because I'm trying to decide if the the guilt and shame she feels about her daughter abandoning you overwhelms her generational ideas about how to take care of things.
ChrisShe dove in. She dove in. It brought I think, to be honest, Scott, it brought my mom and her mom kinda and us together again. Oh. It helped a little bit.
ChrisIt was kind of a scare. I think it my mom was terrified for me. And my grandma said, well, we got no choice. We gotta, you know, we gotta take care of them, keep them alive, so here's why we're gonna do it.
Scott BennerAnd Yeah.
ChrisShe was all for it. And I think for the most part, I stayed with her longer during most days, weekends, and trips like that just because she was there to be able to pinpoint the stuff that I haven't caught on to yet, like highs and lows.
Scott BennerWait. Wait. Your mom or your grandmother?
ChrisMy grandmother. Your grandmother. You stayed Yep.
Scott BennerWhat do you mean you stayed around longer? You you think you lived with her longer, or you hung out during the day, Mark?
ChrisI was like, my typical visits with her were longer because of the support that she was offering, and my mom didn't have a grasp on it yet.
Scott BennerAh, so make sure I understand, Chris. The the diagnosis brings your mom back into the fold. You go to live with her, but you're still spending a ton of time with your grandmother.
ChrisYeah. I'm often I mean, I'm often on with my mom just because of the fact of the diabetes and the care that my grandmother could provide when my mom couldn't at the time.
Scott BennerGotcha. I understand. And your mom was not quite as good at the that one, probably not did she ever catch up? Did you feel like? Did you ever Yes.
Scott BennerYeah.
ChrisYes. Yeah. Yeah. She caught up and, you know, having having the lows having the lows the first time in the middle of the night and having that experience where you just don't know what you don't know how to describe how you feel is really, really hard when a parent is standing over you like, what can I do?
Scott BennerYeah. No. The whole thing
Chrisis upset. You know, it's it's either a high or a low or it's just a f this. I'm tired of this already. You know?
Scott BennerYeah. Chris, I you might not have perspective for this because of your age at the time, but do you think you're being diagnosed with type one brought your back together with your mom? Like, do you think it would have happened otherwise?
Sponsor Break
Scott BennerDiabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US Med has done that for us.
Scott BennerWhen it's time for Arden's supplies to be refreshed, we get an email. Rolls up and in your inbox says, hi, Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from US Med. You open up the email. It's a big button that says click here to reorder, and you're done.
Scott BennerFinally, somebody taking away your responsibility instead of adding one. US Med has done that for us. An email arrives, we click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514.
Scott BennerI never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link. I open up a box. I put the stuff in the drawer, and we're done. US Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMs like the Libre three and the Dexcom g seven.
Scott BennerThey accept Medicare nationwide, over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call (888) 721-1514 or go to my link, u s med dot com slash juice box. Using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juice Box podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by a long term CGM that's going to help you to stay on top of your glucose readings, the Eversense three sixty five. I'm talking, of course, about the world's first and only CGM that lasts for one year. One year, one CGM.
Scott BennerAre you tired of those other CGMs? The ones that give you all those problems that you didn't expect? Knocking them off, false alerts, not lasting as long as they're supposed to. If you're tired of those constant frustrations, use my link ever since cgm.com/juicebox to learn more about the Eversense three sixty five. Some of you may be able to experience the Eversense three sixty five for as low as $199 for a full year.
Scott BennerAt my link, you'll find those details and can learn about eligibility. Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. Check it out.
Adulthood, Rebellion, and Rock Bottom
ChrisI think it would have happened. It was not really a lost cause. It was just a
Scott BennerShe was working stuff out.
ChrisTo be honest, Scott, she was working her ass off to to pay for me and to cover us and to make sure we were doing good and
Scott BennerSo she was out hustling I mean, how did they measure success for you back then?
ChrisI mean, obviously, I went to went to the endo quite a bit, pretty good health care where I grew up. And I remember that once I started, like I switched schools quite a bit, because my mom would move quite a bit. And then once I started trying to kind of accept the fact that I'm gonna have to live with this the rest of my life, that's when that's when things kinda turned and and life got even more complicated, I guess.
Scott BennerBecause you couldn't accept it?
ChrisI was I wasn't accepting it, and I hid it from everything because I didn't wanna get made fun of.
Scott BennerOh, okay. So I wasn't sure. Do you mean acceptance, like, doing the things you need to do?
ChrisYes. Yeah.
Scott BennerAnd on top of that, making sure no one else sees it or knows about it?
ChrisYeah. And having to be honest, having kind of a home life was difficult. So home life being difficult and a new disease and a new school here and there Yeah. It was difficult. It was difficult to get accepted and not feel like a special kid.
ChrisRight? Just because I had I had to have candy or I had to check my blood all the time or Yeah. Or, you know, there was a syringe sitting on my desk or something like that. So it was it all kinda happened relatively quickly in a time when, you know, at this time, maybe you're 11 or 12, you still don't really know everything.
Scott BennerWhen you look back now as an adult, did did you feel abandoned as a child?
ChrisYeah. Yeah. Pretty much so.
Scott BennerAnd that that sticks with you. Right? That's not a thing you work through on your own at, like, 10 to 15.
ChrisSomething I am still dealing with.
Scott BennerYeah. Do you have are you married now? Yes. You are. So I'm adopted, and my and my parents got divorced when I was 13.
ChrisK.
Scott BennerAnd when in the beginning of my marriage and even in my, like, like, dating relationships, if people got upset, I got I got really upset. So yeah. So if people look like they were arguing or upset with each other or there was any feeling of the one that took me the longest to get through was when people are disagreeing and they can't come to an agreement before they leave the room, that used to make me feel panicked. Yeah. Like, we couldn't disagree and then I'll leave because I felt like someone I don't know what I felt like, honestly.
Scott BennerBut in hindsight, I think I felt like somebody would definitely not come back if that happened. Yeah. I I anyway, stuff like that.
ChrisAnd and there's a lot of guilt too. There's a lot of, you know, why did mom and dad split up? Yeah. You know, what what what was it me? Was it because of, you know, was it this or that?
ChrisAnd that actually carries through now to this is going way forward. We'll get there eventually. But my kids that I have now are from a previous marriage. So now I'm dealing with a new me in the same situation with the stepdad, and we'll get there eventually. Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah. Okay. I gotcha.
ChrisOkay.
Scott BennerAlright.
ChrisI don't wanna I don't wanna jump too far forward,
Scott Bennerbut Look at everybody just I I like it when you guys produce when we do this. It's good. It's good. Keeps me keeps me on track. Keeps me from asking the wrong question at the wrong time.
Scott BennerI really am getting a lot of help. Also, I don't wanna brag, but I just noticed my calves were dry and moisturized them during that conversation. And Oh, good for you. I really wanna say that I I think it's possible I'm a professional at this point, because I never lost track of what you were saying or stopped being interested and was able to really take care of some dry skin.
ChrisSo No. You're like, oh, Chris is bobbing. Look at my calves.
Scott BennerThey're crazy. I was doing it at times when I was talking. I'm I'm really I'm showing off by sharing this with you, by the way,
Chrisis what
Scott Bennerthis is this is a flex for me. Right. Okay. So back to my original question, what did success look like, or were we not even worried about that? Was just standing success, or were you looking for
ChrisYeah. Getting getting through the day, getting through the shots, and that was a win for me.
Scott BennerOkay. And then does your health slip as you decide or, you know, maybe it's not a conscious decision, but you're gonna kinda put it in the background, not let people see it. You know, I had an adult say to me this weekend that I don't wanna malign any pumps, but, like, I had an adult tell me this weekend that the pump they had that they could control from their phone helped a lot with their management and their outcomes. When I asked why because I assumed they meant there was something about the algorithm or the pump or whatever that would made it better for them, they said, no. I'm, I don't have to pull the controller out now.
Scott BennerOh, yeah. I don't want people to see I'm giving myself insulin. So when I can do it with my phone, it really opened her up to being able to do it in public, which stopped her from waiting long distances of time to give herself insulin.
ChrisRight.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah.
ChrisYeah. I mean, I get that.
Scott BennerYeah. I guess you do. So what did that look like? Because how long were you doing just two shots a day before you moved up to some other you know I mean? Like, what did ignoring it look like?
Scott BennerThis episode is sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. And today, I'm gonna tell you about Tandem's newest pumping algorithm. The Tandem Mobi system with Control IQ Plus technology features auto bolus, which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia. It has a dedicated sleep activity setting and is controlled from your personal iPhone. Tandem will help you to check your benefits today through my link, tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Scott BennerThis is going to help you to get started with Tandem's smallest pump yet that's powered by its best algorithm ever. Control IQ Plus technology helps to keep blood sugars in range by predicting glucose levels thirty minutes ahead, and it adjusts insulin accordingly. You can wear the Tandem Mobi in a number of ways. Wear it on body with a patch like adhesive sleeve that is sold separately, clip it discreetly to your clothing, or slip it into your pocket. Head now to my link, tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox, to check out your benefits and get started today.
ChrisI think because I had guidance and I had, you know, every three months appointments and all this and all that, it went fairly well. It wasn't really, oh, it wasn't really until probably 16 or 17 that my life changed quite a bit again, and that's when the care really started to kinda crash.
Scott BennerWhat's the change that happened to them?
ChrisAs I got older, my mom remarried. We went from kind of a we were pretty poor to the my stepdad at the time, still my stepdad now, made quite a bit of money. We moved into a nice house and went to a nice school, and everything really turned. But we my stepdad and I struggled quite a bit. And, basically, from my senior year in high school, I moved out on my own.
Scott BennerWhat was the friction point? Did you just not like him being close to your mom, or did you like you would you have trouble taking direction from him? Was there something you can pinpoint?
ChrisDirection, extremely strict and kinda came in. You know, at the time, I was 13 and kinda came in like, this is how you're gonna do it. You're gonna brush your hair this way. You're gonna tuck your shirt in. And I'm like, I don't want any of it.
ChrisI it's just not me. And my mom and I, we struggled, but we were a team. And so that being a team, you know, it might have been chicken nuggets on dinners some nights, but at least, you know what, it was a struggle, but it was a struggle with my
Scott Bennermom. K.
ChrisAnd we kinda like we bonded quite a bit, actually.
Scott BennerDid you you liked it better when you were broke?
ChrisIt seemed like it because we supported each other.
Scott BennerOkay. Did she have trouble pushing back against him? Yes. Probably because she was moving on. By the way,
Chrisdid she was moving on and happy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, she was she was happy and things were good and money wasn't a problem anymore and
Scott BennerRight. And she's singing that Jefferson song in her head probably.
ChrisRight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Scott BennerSo she she's got a reason to and did you feel like she let you down by not sticking up for you when the hairbrushing and the shirt tucking and
Chrisall that? Yeah. When it came down to it, I was really struggling. And my diabetes started to slip, and I kinda said either him or me, and it ended up being him. So off I went.
Scott BennerWhere'd you go, Kurt? No. No. Don't be sorry. Where'd you go, and how did you how did you get insulin and all the things you needed?
ChrisSo at the time, the state I was living in, which is where I was born, you could get insulin over the counter.
Scott BennerOkay.
ChrisSo I would basically, I had a pretty good job in high school. Senior year in high school, I was working in a machine shop, so I was making pretty good money. And I could afford all my stuff. And after high school, I moved into another house to start a new job, and that's where my life turned, like, pretty much a 180 degrees. I got into some really heavy drugs
Scott BennerYeah.
ChrisAnd really stopped basically giving a shit.
Scott BennerWell, it it occurs to me that you you experienced abandonment over and over again from the same people. Yeah. Like, yeah, from, like, a younger age and then again and then it's not that I can't put myself in her position, but, like, I you know, in the end, like, I don't I'm trying to decide if you moved out to avoid the pressure for him or if you moved out to avoid the the letdown you felt when you didn't see her trying to get in the way and help you?
ChrisLike I think in my brain, it was, nobody's cared before, so I'm just gonna kinda get the hell out of here and go do what I want.
Scott BennerYeah.
ChrisAnd with that attitude, I carried it and got into some pretty bad stuff. And
Scott BennerHow long did you hold together the, like, Chris is gonna be an adult by himself game before it fell apart?
ChrisOh, not very long. I mean, I
Scott BennerI see.
ChrisYeah. I mean, it it didn't take very long at all, and the people I was around, and it was just a it was a it was as textbook as you could get as the wrong situation Yeah. For for for me. And
Scott BennerPeople you met at work who were older than you or people you met other where where did you meet these people?
ChrisPeople at a different job and someone said, hey. You know, we got this place for living in. We need help with rent, and it ended up being just an absolute just party house. And I got into some really, really heavy drugs that don't cooperate with diabetes very well.
Scott BennerCan you would you put a name to them, or are you not comfortable
Chriswith them? Methamphetamine.
Scott BennerYeah. I guess that's that that's you started with meth? That's a a hell of a leaping endpoint.
ChrisPretty pretty much I did. Yeah. I didn't really drink or do any drugs in in, like, you know, high school or anything after and kinda went right to that because it seemed like the answer, and it took all the pain away.
Scott BennerOkay. That's why I was gonna ask you, what did it do for you?
ChrisYeah. It made me forget about the situation that I was in.
Scott BennerOkay. Did you have a girlfriend?
ChrisI had often on girlfriends at the time. A lot of lot of friends through school, but, at that time, I did not know.
Scott BennerBecause you're a father now. Right? Uh-huh. Is there any hindsight at all that you have? Like, what besides I guess this is tough because I think the hindsight is your mom should've stuck up for it and you would've been okay.
Scott BennerBut, like, like, after you were on your own, like, is there a moment or something you could've done, or are you at the whim of the of the current at that point?
ChrisYeah. I'm pretty much just whatever will
Scott Bennergo and Okay.
ChrisOh, that made a lot of things difficult. Obviously, the some of the drawbacks is you don't eat. So my blood sugar, I had no clue what it was. I didn't check it. I wasn't doing shots like I should have.
ChrisAnd Can I ask
Scott Bennera hard question?
ChrisAlright. Go for
Scott Bennerit. In that situation, you're not managing your type one. You understand the impacts of not managing your type one at that point? Yeah.
ChrisProb at that point, yeah, but I didn't care.
Scott BennerOkay. And math is, you know, is I mean, it's a pretty big swing. Yeah. So if you're not connected with your mother, your father's absent Yep. You're doing meth and not taking care of your diabetes, this is the hard question.
Scott BennerDay to day, what's the point of your existence? Like, I don't mean I don't do you understand what I'm saying? Like like, what what is what is it you're doing? Is it are you just functioning going from, like, numbing thing to numbing because you're going to work. You gotta make money.
Scott BennerRight?
ChrisUh-huh. Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. I'm I'm asking where did you I guess I'm asking what did you think you were doing when you had time to think about it, or was there no ability to think about it?
ChrisI don't think I was thinking, Scott. I think I was just I think I was I was so in the fog that I just stayed in it.
Scott BennerI see. High blood sugar is on top of the drugs too, probably. I mean Spacey.
ChrisVery high blood sugar. I remember there's times where I would you know, obviously, when you get super high and DKA starts to hit, you start to puke on yourself. And I remember that I wasn't eating, and I wasn't doing my shot. But I'm like, well, I'm not eating, so I must be okay. And I wasn't.
Scott BennerYou weren't doing And basil even?
ChrisWell, so this was still my regular and
Scott BennerOh, you're still regular in NPH at that point.
ChrisOh, yeah. I was regular in NPH, Scott, until 2015. Get the
Scott Bennerout of here. Seriously? Yep.
ChrisI'm dead serious.
Scott BennerHoly damn. Look at you. You're a time traveler.
ChrisYeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I just well, yeah.
ChrisOnce again, you could buy insulin over the counter. I struggled through jobs as I grew up, but we're gonna I don't wanna skip ahead. So So in so in this whole deal, speed up a little bit. January 1, we go out on a party.
A Wake-Up Call and Returning to Family
ChrisI remember we went somewhere. The whole group, everybody was doing all the same crap. So everybody's, you know, did the same crap. And the next morning, that was January sorry. That was January's December 31.
ChrisJanuary 1, I woke up in the ER with a catheter and stuff hooked up to me, and I basically was unresponsive for fourteen seconds, they said.
Scott BennerOh my gosh.
ChrisSo my party friends dumped me off at the front door, and they saved me. My blood sugar was 900 when they dropped me off, and DKA had already came in and presented itself. Yes. And that was what we call a wake up call.
Scott BennerYeah. I was gonna say,
Chrisis is that is
Scott Bennerthat the moment where you go, oh, maybe I should try to stay alive a little harder?
ChrisYeah. I think yeah. I think, and that scared the that scared the me.
Scott BennerI really did. That. The catheter, if nothing else.
ChrisYeah. Jesus. Yeah. God. I can't.
Scott BennerI have to imagine there's a moment when you've you've regained some clarity and you go, oh, there's a tube in my penis. I wonder how that got
Christhere. Yeah. I wonder and how are they gonna get it out of
Scott Bennerthere? Yeah. Oh. And then you're looking around the room, you're like, which one of these people did that? No.
Scott BennerNo. No. I I I imagine. Yeah. So were you high at that time or just in DKA or both?
ChrisWell, it was died. Everything's pretty much worn off by then, so it was d DKA that took me down.
Scott BennerI see. Okay. Once you realize there's something to do, you're locked into where you live. Like, how do that's a lot of change to make all at once. I mean Yeah.
ChrisYou know what I mean? That's where that's where my father comes in.
Scott BennerMy dad Not mister Jefferson. The the Not
Chrisnot mister Jefferson. This is
Scott Bennermy real dad. Okay. Okay.
ChrisHe was, back in town, I heard, and I've always remembered his phone number. I called him and basically confessed. I said, dad, this is what happened. This is where I'm at. You have to come and get me out of here.
ChrisAnd that's what he did.
Scott BennerWow. No kidding. How long did it have been since you seen
Chrishim? Oh, three to four three years.
Scott BennerNo kidding. And Yeah. No no judgment? Just came and got you?
ChrisNo judgment at all.
Scott BennerDoes he have a similar background to yours? Could he understand your plight, or is this just good?
ChrisHe no. He he didn't, but he understood the situation.
Scott BennerOkay.
ChrisAnd like I said, I was straight up with him. I said that I I messed up big time. I I don't wanna be in there anymore. If you don't come and get me, I'm gonna go right back there.
Scott BennerYeah. And tell me one more time. Your dad not a partier? Not a nothing he wasn't like that guy?
ChrisNo. Uh-uh. Not like that at all.
Scott BennerOkay. Alright. I have a tiny bit of well, I've I've a lot of knowledge about not seeing my dad for a long time and then going to see him again, and it's an uncomfortable moment for him,
Chrisfor you. Tough.
Scott BennerYeah. For everybody. Because everyone is either hurt or embarrassed or some mix of that. You know?
ChrisAnd Or angry.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. Yeah. All trust me. I think we could sit down and write down emotions for twenty minutes, and I'd go, yeah.
Scott BennerThat one too. Yep. So Mhmm. So so that all gets overcome because he realizes you're in actual trouble. Do you live with him then?
Scott BennerYes. Wow. How long did you
Chrislive with him for? I lived with him for a couple years, and then I moved on and went to some school for some mechanic, like car mechanic stuff Mhmm. Where that ended up taking me to my next venture of traveling around the world racing cars.
Scott BennerOkay. Well, real quick, though. In those years you lived with your father Uh-huh. Do you guys ever talk about where he was? Because, I mean, he's did he mature?
Scott BennerLike, why was he able to be a dad then, I guess, is my question.
ChrisI think it woke both of us up. Okay. I think I think it was a ton of a kind of a, like, this has to happen, and it's going to happen, and we're gonna make the best of it, and we did.
Scott BennerDid you start talking to your mom more again or no? Was you and
Chrisyour dad? I was talking to my mom off and on, but it was still pretty negative because there wasn't much reach out after I left.
Scott BennerYeah. Well, if you had a nicer house, if she could've lived with you, then she might have been nicer to you. Have you let any of that go, by the way, as an adult? How much therapy do you do exactly?
ChrisWell, we have up to Thanksgiving of last year, my mom and I, let it all out, and we are now perfect.
Scott BennerOh, good for you.
ChrisSo it's but it's taken that long, Scott. Like, it's been
Scott BennerYeah. No. I understand.
ChrisYou know, it's been from the time that I was in high school to yeah. We spoke a little bit here and there. My grandmother ended up passing. I heard about that. But, like, we haven't really thrown it out there to what actually did all this until last year.
ChrisChris, I have to
Scott Bennertell you something. In thirty three minutes of talking, I've just been trying to act as a, you know, as the person kinda getting your story from you. I haven't felt sad yet even though you said a lot of sad things until you said, I learned of my grandmother's passing.
ChrisUh-huh.
Scott BennerThat made me sad.
ChrisYeah. That's that was a rough one. She was, she got dementia really bad and that was it. But
Scott BennerI don't even mean that she died. I mean that she died and you were unaware that she died. Yeah. That's the part that made me sad.
ChrisYeah. That that did suck.
Scott BennerYeah. Jesus. You okay? Is he already talking about all this?
ChrisYeah. I'm fine. I I expected it to. I'm just trying to make sure I don't jump around too much. So
Scott BennerYeah. No. I just want people to real like, sometimes I get back from people, like, they didn't wanna talk about that. I'm like, listen. I didn't make them come on the podcast.
ChrisNo. I I I mean, a lot of this has to do with what we're here for. So, I mean
Scott BennerYou know? No. I know. I imagine your whole lead up is gonna is gonna is gonna crescendo in a in a pretty interesting way. So, my god.
Professional Racing Career
Scott BennerWait a minute. So you're racing
Chriswhat are you what are
Scott Benneryou racing? Like, little quarters, dirt track? What are you guys doing?
ChrisNo. Sports car. So twenty four hour, twelve hour stuff.
Scott BennerOh, wow.
ChrisAll the way from all over the country to France to Italy, Germany, all that kind of stuff. And that took me through my career from, let's see, the pretty much the year of 2000 all the way to '14, 2014.
Scott BennerYou're a mechanic on a crew? Are you driving? Or what do you do?
ChrisYeah. A crew, over the wall tires and and all that kind of stuff, and I loved it.
Scott BennerOh, let me ask you a question.
ChrisK.
Scott BennerHow much did you enjoy the movie Ford versus Ferrari?
ChrisSo it's kinda funny. I used to work for one of those teams and ended up working for one of the other teams, and that Ford versus Ferrari situation kind of, happened again in 2016 in France. So it kinda relived it, and I worked for both companies that were part of that.
Scott BennerNo kidding. I can't tell if I just love that movie or if I love Matt Damon more than I think I do.
ChrisIt's it's a good they did a really good job. Okay. They did a really good job on that movie.
Scott BennerSo here's the question. If I only let you watch one again, Ford versus Ferrari or the f one film with Brad Pitt, which do you choose?
ChrisI think that if we're gonna go with the reality basis and the history of it, Ford versus Ferrari for sure.
Scott BennerYeah. I didn't not like f one, but at some point, I thought this is going on forever, and it feels a little fantastical. I like and I wanted it to be a little more real.
ChrisI mean, yeah. And I don't think that a 48 or 40 or 50 year old guy with suntan, wrinkled skin can jump into a Formula one car and do
Scott BennerYou think he'd drive eight feet and go right into a turn. Right?
ChrisYeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mean, there's a lot going on there.
ChrisSo either way
Scott BennerI'm just gonna admit that I'm 54, and there are times I'm completely with it. Okay? And I'm probably as healthy as I've ever been in my life. And there are some times when you're on the road where you think, like, I was a little better at this when I was younger.
ChrisExactly. Yeah.
Scott BennerSo yeah. And I'm not going, however, hundreds of miles. Right. Yeah. Feeling every pebble on the road as the car is dancing over the air.
ChrisRight.
Scott BennerBut, anyway, I'm sorry. So that's our well, that's a really interesting life. Now during that life, are you married? Do you have kids during that time? Are you drug
Chrisare you drug free? Yes. But alcohol started taking over because that kind of flows when you start winning.
Scott BennerOh, the part the party picks back up and
Christhings are going well. The I started drinking quite a bit. Nothing out of control, but more to where it was really starting to affect my diabetes quite a bit. Okay.
Scott BennerIs that a thing you got under control again?
ChrisYes. You did? Yes. Yeah.
Scott BennerWould you consider yourself an alcoholic or no?
ChrisNo. It was just too easy.
Scott BennerIt's all always there.
ChrisIt was always there. It's like you you go out, you work all day getting everything ready, and then you go out and have a beer. And then, oh, look at these there's other teams here. Okay. Let's hang out with them.
ChrisAnd then, oh, then, and then you lose, and then you hate each other, and then you love each other, and then it's just it's just a cycle, and it was kinda starting to take over I see. Quite a bit.
Scott BennerSomebody have to step in and help you, or did you figure it out for yourself?
ChrisNo. I figured it out for myself.
Scott BennerOkay. Any AA or anything like that?
ChrisOr No. Nothing like that. No.
Scott BennerJust you just were like, I'm gonna stop drinking now. This is not Yeah.
ChrisI'm just gonna I'm gonna yeah. Okay. So that lifestyle, it was difficult doing shots in a porta potty in the middle of the night, but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Scott BennerThat's where you're doing your insulin? Yeah. Because wait. Because, Chris, are you still hiding it at that point?
ChrisI'm not hiding it, but the races would go the twenty four hour races would go to the following day.
Scott BennerAnd you're just looking for a place to be And I
Chrisand I'm just looking for a quiet place where I can I have a suit on, so I have to unzip the suit and get the belly out and do all that kind of stuff? And I didn't wanna do that right in front of somebody. So That's what I would be doing.
Scott BennerI gotta tell you, get the belly out is the most descriptive thing anybody said to me all week so far. Yeah. Well yeah. It's like you had to present it to the world so that you could get it.
ChrisWell, yeah. They you wear these suits and you're pretty much shoehorned in this thing. You know, it's like a
Scott BennerYeah.
ChrisYou're getting they're pretty snug. So trying to get the zipper actually zips from the bottom up, you know, or top down, whatever you wanna do. So you get the bottom when you zip it up and get the belly out and just enough skin and off it goes.
Scott BennerAre they fire suits? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
ChrisYeah. No mechs.
Scott BennerBut you're still a regular on Miles per hour though. Right?
ChrisYes.
Scott BennerOh, wow.
ChrisSure am.
Scott BennerWhat are your do you know a one c's? Like, what's the level of health care for you during that time?
ChrisDuring that time, it was it was okay. I was getting my a one c's done. I was running about seven or eight. Okay. Not the best control, but I knew it.
ChrisI mean, I I I would I wanted to make sure that my blood sugar was a little on the higher side because when we're doing pit stops, I wanted to make sure that
Scott BennerYou don't wanna get low.
ChrisI don't wanna get low because that's I feel like of one of the k two cases, I can at least get my job done if my blood sugar is a little on the higher side than it is if it's low.
Scott BennerOkay. And what would management to lower have meant to you? Would it have meant more insulin, or would it have meant different eating? Both. Both would have helped that.
ChrisYeah. Both would have helped that. And to be honest, at that time, I was so in the gray about insulin. I had no idea. I mean, I just was like, this is what you do.
ChrisYou get this foggy stuff, and you get this stuff. And
Scott Benneroh, you don't have a functional idea of what all this is doing. It's just
ChrisI know what it's doing, but I haven't I haven't updated anything. Just still cruising right along with the same scenario.
Scott BennerWhatever your shots used to be is what they are now, and you're you're not thinking about it. I mean, you understand functionally what it does, but you're not you're not looking at an outcome and saying, oh, had I just done this, then this might have gone differently.
ChrisCorrect.
Scott BennerI gotcha. Okay. Yeah. Alright. 2015 is when you got a faster acting insulin?
ChrisIs that what you're when I got so my health care has never been with racing, you don't have your you're a contract employee.
Scott BennerMhmm.
ChrisSo you don't have any kind of health care, and everything you do for health care for is kinda up to you. The third party health care for a type one is is insanely expensive.
Scott BennerRight. So that's part of why you stayed with that insulin. Right?
ChrisStayed with the insulin because I could go anywhere and buy it over the counter.
Scott BennerYeah. But you weren't using a CGM during that time?
ChrisNope. I had my Dexcom that I'm wearing now was started in 2019. Wow. My goodness. Yeah.
ChrisYeah.
Scott BennerI bet you the first four years without the CGM were probably a rocky start, right, to figure out. Yeah.
ChrisYeah. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Trying to figure out this and that.
ChrisI was obviously still sticking my finger, but, boy, it sucked because I wasn't to be fair, I wasn't really doing it. You know, I when I got on my own and I didn't care about anything anymore, the last thing I was gonna do is poke my finger.
Scott BennerYeah. Well, that pivot from regular and Miles per hour later in life to a faster acting insulin, you know, long acting that stuff, most of your knowledge doesn't transfer to the new idea. And No. That's Not
Chrisat all.
Scott BennerThat really is what I noticed when I talk to people over and over again is that they were they have diabetes and they take insulin. But when you switch them to, you know, I don't know, Humalog and, you know, something like that, then they don't know what they're doing. They start over again as a person who feels like they have twenty years of experience without any of the knowledge that goes along with it.
ChrisRight. Yeah. Exactly. Wow.
Transitioning to a Normal Life
Scott BennerOkay. So I'm sorry. The the racing thing, when that ends Yep. Why does it end, and where do you go next?
ChrisSo it ended basically around COVID. It got really, really difficult to do anything, obviously. Right? Racing is kinda like a it's a it's an extra thing. Right?
ChrisIt doesn't have to happen. It's all extra money that, you know, I used to call it April 15 racing because a lot of it, you know, is tax Tax tax and all that kind of stuff. And I had a really good friend of mine that I had kept in touch with who is my wife now. I moved to another state when I started racing and stayed where I am now, we'll just call it the South. Mhmm.
ChrisMet this lady when I first moved here, and we stayed in contact. She got married again, had some children, and it went really sour. And that's when, basically, I was tired of racing. I got tired of the hotels. I got tired of the suitcases.
ChrisI got tired of the horrible breakfast in the morning. Just all of the typical things of travel. And her kids said, you know what? We like seeing you on TV, but if you were here, it would be better. And that's all it took.
Scott BennerThat's nice. Look at that. Look at that.
ChrisYeah. You
Scott Bennerjust went into a I mean, that's a pretty big shift from your story to just a regular, like, I'm gonna live here all the time life.
ChrisIt but but, I mean, it's yeah, Scott. I mean, I lived out of a suitcase, single life, all the way until 2018.
Scott BennerYeah. Wow. That is not that long ago.
ChrisI know.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and how was the transition to being a normie? How did that go?
Outro & Sponsors
Scott BennerThis episode was too good to cut anything out of, but too long to make just one episode. So this is part one. Make sure you go find part two right now. It's gonna be the next episode in your feed. Today's episode of the Juice Box podcast was sponsored by the new Tandem Mobi system and Control IQ Plus technology.
Scott BennerLearn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. Check it out. The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by US Med. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Get started today and get your supplies from US Med.
Scott BennerToday's episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by the Eversense three sixty five. You can experience the Eversense three sixty five CGM system for as low as $199 for a full year. Visit eversincecgm.com/juicebox for more details and eligibility. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of the juice box podcast.
Scott BennerIf you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend. And if you leave a five star review, oh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card?
Scott BennerIf you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box podcast private Facebook group. Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome. Type one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook.
Scott BennerIf you have a podcast and you need a fantastic editor, you want Rob from Wrong Way Recording. Listen. Truth be told, I'm, like, 20% smarter when Rob edits me. He takes out all the, like, gaps of time and when I go, and stuff like that. And it just I don't know, man.
Scott BennerLike, I listen back and I'm like, why do I sound smarter? And then I remember because I did one smart thing. I hired Rob at wrongwayrecording.com.
