Scott Benner 11/29/21 Scott Benner 11/29/21

#585 After Dark: ADHD, Cocaine and Abandonment

Dlaine is here to talk about her life with type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 577 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Well, today's episode is with Cindy, and she's had type one diabetes for 50 years. Now, this one's an after dark but interesting story. I put the edit on this one, maybe a month ago. And at this moment as I'm putting on the ads, I don't remember why I made it an after dark. I just have a voice note at the end of this to myself that says, Make the length of sentence. How do I forget how I put it something about the episode title is the length of Cindy's time with type one. And this is an afterdark that's it, and I don't remember why. So we're gonna find out together. I'll listen when it goes up to while you and I are listening. Let's both remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. are becoming bold with insulin. Have you filled out the T one D exchange survey? I'll ask again T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox US residents please. Alright, here we go. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash Juicebox. Podcast is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. Learn more contour next one.com forward slash juicebox.

Cindy 1:53
My name is Cindy and live in Washington DC. Everybody asked you at happy hours in Washington. What do you do? That's like the first question. So probably doesn't really apply to the podcast. But I'm the managing editor for scholarly publications. And I have been type one for many, many, many, many, many years.

Scott Benner 2:12
Do you mean that when people find out you live in DC, they imagine you're involved in government or lobbying or something like that.

Cindy 2:19
It's a DC thing. Like anywhere you go. Hi, I'm Cindy. What do you do? It's a DC thing. It's all about work. This town is work, work, work, work work.

Scott Benner 2:29
You think it's Hi, I'm Cindy. And then the person wants to know how they can how you can help them in their career. Exactly. Gotcha. Okay. Can you be valuable to me Sunday should be the next statement. Not what do you do?

Cindy 2:43
Probably not know, I'm sorry, Scott. I don't think that's gonna happen. You

Scott Benner 2:48
don't think it'll work for me? It's funny.

Cindy 2:51
I mean, that unless you want to start editing or writing or you do plenty of editing, and I'm sure,

Scott Benner 2:56
I have to tell you, I'm a terrible writer. And in that I just didn't. I paid no attention in school. And then I wrote a book, which is the oddest thing. And as I was writing, there were just times where I just couldn't, I'm like, is that a coma? No. You know, like, I just I'm, structurally, I'm terrible. I got a lot of nice feedback about the book and the way it flowed and how it read, but I didn't know the first thing about what I was doing. So

Cindy 3:30
I actually have your book. Do you really? Yeah.

Scott Benner 3:33
Thank you. You know, does it need to be re edited? Is that what you're thinking? No, I

Cindy 3:39
think it's okay.

Scott Benner 3:41
Thank you. So, how old are you now and how old were you when you were diagnosed?

Cindy 3:46
Oh my goodness. I'm 59 and I was nine when I was diagnosed.

Scott Benner 3:51
Wow. Did you get like one of those metals, the lily metals.

Cindy 3:55
You know, my family's kind of flaking out on me. For the Johnsons metal you have to since obviously, I don't have any records of when I was diagnosed, you have to have family members write letters and so I drafted letters for my family to just fill in the blanks and sign nobody did it. Man So nificant other really wants me to get the metal because he's really an all about recognition. He's very big Washingtonian that way. And so he's like, alright, the letters for you. I'm like, No, I've got to live I'll sign them like no. City. What

Scott Benner 4:29
are you touching? Oh,

Cindy 4:31
sorry, my palm my bracelet is okay. I use my hands Okay, no,

Scott Benner 4:37
no, I listen, I talk with my hands. When I'm not it's odd when I do the podcast I do a little bit in person. I do it a lot. And I think I've stopped myself because I know I bumped the microphone and cables and things like that. But that's that was just so funny because people won't understand that right before we started recording. We set you all up so that you wouldn't touch anything that you I can hear you getting excited and tell the story I was like, did she find something to touch?

Cindy 5:03
It's my it's my dog tags on my wrist bumping against my punk. It's okay, that just yell it's. So my arms crossed. Now let's see if that works.

Scott Benner 5:13
You'd be sitting on your hands by the time we're done. So I, so that's interesting. I didn't know we'd be talking about this right away. But so you understood that family members, probably, these weren't the people who you could just say, hey, I need you to write a letter. So you said, look, here's a letter explaining my diabetes, can you sign it and mail it?

Cindy 5:32
Again, no response? I don't know why, I don't know. I mean, maybe things were going on in their lives that I was really pretty disappointed was like, Oh, come on you guys. Because you need somebody to say this is what was happening. And I did all the Googling, like, who was president and just so you have to sort of be able to account for current events at the time and the tests that they knew you when you were diagnosed, and I made pursued again, my mom's 95 Though now, so I'm not sure she's really up for it.

Scott Benner 6:03
Gotcha. But if you need me, I can sign your mom's name and mail it for you. Okay, well,

Cindy 6:07
I think about somebody I mean, he was like, I'll, I'll sign it for you. Authenticity,

Scott Benner 6:15
I'd be happy to sign your mom's name is what I'm saying. So you just send it over. It's how I got through middle school. With tests, I found a lovely girl named Karen, who, I just decided she would be my mom. And so I just had her started. This is very devious, but I pre planned knowing that I was not going to do well in school, and that they would make you get these tests signed, if they didn't go well. So instead of ever having my mom sign one of them, I just went to this girl named Karen. And I was like, Karen, I'm gonna need you to be my mom throughout school. So four years, Karen was my mother. You got to think ahead, if you know you're gonna mess up is that that's a that girl did it. She was so nice about it. I think it was frustrating at some points, because I really didn't do well.

Unknown Speaker 7:02
Thank you.

Scott Benner 7:03
I don't think so. She was so proud. I like she was definitely one of the girls that as I think back, I would have been nervous to talk to I and so I just was, you know, it's like, Hey, can you sign this? Eventually, a girl named Julie also took it up when Karen moved on. So I had to go to different people helping me. Okay, so tell me a little more about I mean, how far back can I don't just doesn't, it's not pejorative? I'm just how far back can you remember?

Cindy 7:31
Remember when I was diagnosed yet?

Scott Benner 7:33
Because I'm 50. And I don't know anything about the beginning of my life.

Cindy 7:39
I think my life started when I became diabetic. That's one of the first things I remember.

Scott Benner 7:44
really well, and how much of that can you put together for me here like, when

Cindy 7:49
it's pretty good age, right? I was nine and I know other people can remember before that age, but I don't know if it was because it was such a big shift. Because it's so heartbreaking because of how my family dealt with it. That feels like my when my life really started. I don't remember a lot going on before then. It's a weird dynamic. I'm not quite sure what that's about.

Scott Benner 8:13
Well, so 50 years ago, management, what did it mean? Like you're a nine year old and suddenly this has been thrust on you. What what is it that's been thrust on you?

Cindy 8:23
The thing that really stood out for me is that you can never have sugar candy again.

Scott Benner 8:30
That's what they told you just no sugar, no candy. What did you eat growing and you'll

Cindy 8:34
go blind if you do. I mean, it was really very scary in my bath. So my sister said, Does this right? Is this what I heard or am I just, you know, making it up? And she said, No, they pretty much told us no sweets. And I was heartbroken because my father used to bring me candy all the time. He'd come home and he'd bring me candy, candy, candy, candy, candy. And so to hear that I was never gonna get eat candy again. Like it was not cool. I was in the holidays. I think we're kind of ruined for me because the holidays have so much food and candy associated with a minimum of my first Easter basket. This is going to be a woe is me story. And I thought for sure my mom would put a chocolate bunny or something in there. No, she put tried it sugarless gum.

Scott Benner 9:26
That's not the story. No,

Cindy 9:28
I was like really a number being really disappointed. I tried not to show it because she was doing what she was supposed to be doing it.

Scott Benner 9:38
Yeah. Well, so it wasn't hyperbole either. Right? They were, that might have been true. On some level at that point. Like you they needed to cut carbs out of your life. Or you were going to suffer some long term effects because that's just was that just the honesty of the treatment at that time?

Cindy 9:58
I think it was um, Because I don't think they really knew how to manage it. I mean, remember this was on one shot a day. Yeah. In the morning was very old beef, pork and sling, it was similar day and limp day with the names of the insulin wasn't multiple daily injections, certainly no pumps didn't know what your blood sugar was have been testing your urine. And we know that that's not very helpful or effective. So yeah, I think at the time that that's just how management was, you just didn't think to take more insulin for eating more carbohydrates. In fact, it was very hard for me to get my head around adjusting my insulin to a sliding scale. When I got older, that was a really new concept for me, I was used to taking this 138 Was 38 LMT and eight units of semimonthly for years and years and years and years and years and years and years. And that's all I took,

Scott Benner 10:51
just get up in the morning and shoot that and then try to eat a certain amount of carbs at certain times a day, or was it?

Cindy 10:58
Well, for a while we tried that. But that didn't last very long. Once I got a little older, I just saved anything. But yeah, we tried that. And it was the exchange diet, which I'm sure you've heard of. So it was different than carbs. It was counting exchanges one bread one through one vegetable. One milk, so I think of it more like almost like counting calories instead of cars, but I guess it was cars, but that's not what we called it in.

Scott Benner 11:25
Because that doesn't take into account any of the glycemic load of the foods that you're having.

Cindy 11:30
No, not at all, which I think is is part of why they really made the hard and fast rule. No sweets, no candy. No. I mean, they had some allowances for your birthday. You could have angel food cake.

Scott Benner 11:45
You're a great sponge cake for old ladies for my birthday. Great.

Cindy 11:48
Exactly. And I hate angel food cake. To this day. I just

Scott Benner 11:53
I bet you do. I remember my father wouldn't eat chicken. And one day I just asked why? Because it was odd. We'd have chicken for a meal and my mom would make my dad a piece of liver every time. And it turned out that his dad had a job that on Fridays, if you had a good week of work, they'd send you home with a live chicken. And that was part of the like a bonus for working there. So my dad got chicken constantly as a kid and then couldn't stomach as an adult.

Cindy 12:22
Couldn't see. Yeah.

Scott Benner 12:23
So are you seeing that? I want to make sure I definitely understand that all the way back in the beginning. You weren't even using regular an MPH you were using something even more ancient ancient they I was looking for the word. Thank you then that.

Cindy 12:38
Yeah, no, it was called similar thing. Monday was beef pork. I'm sure it wasn't very pure. Fact I used to get a fair number of skin reactions from it because I just think it wasn't very pure insulin. So yeah, that was a long time ago because it was 1971.

Scott Benner 12:55
That was the year I was born Sunday. Yeah, now. Listen, it's making me feel old. How do you I mean, what do you you can't just do the woe is me here, right that far behind you. But that's crazy, like and like to listen to now in 2021. And so how long did you do those those first insulins again?

Cindy 13:15
What's a long time well into my teens? I don't know, when I went on to regular an MPH might not even have been until college. I didn't have the best of care. Well, part of is I didn't have the best of care. But I also didn't take very good care of myself. So I may have not gone on to mph, right? Maybe in high school. But then they wanted me to take two shots a day. And I was like, Oh no, this, this now I don't want to do this. And eventually I did. And that was quite a while before. Maybe I was in college, they wanted me to do even more shots. And now. Because really, even though it was terrible control, one shot a day was pretty simple. You took your insulin and that was it.

Scott Benner 14:02
Right? So you weren't really thinking about outcomes. You were thinking about livability?

Cindy 14:07
Yeah, only when, at that time, I just figured I would die and I want to see and I would go blind and I just sort of took that like, okay, I guess that's gonna be how it is. I mean, I never thought I'd make it to 50 years. That's not it'd be long gone or I'd be sick. So yeah, I just started like, Well, yeah, I guess I'll go blind. I guess I'll mean, as I got a little older, I got a better grip on that. It's like no, no, you don't have to you can make better decisions. But when I was younger, and I didn't have much control over what was going on around me it just sort of, well, okay. When you

Scott Benner 14:45
said a minute ago that you didn't do a very good job. What does that mean to you?

Cindy 14:51
Well, compared to what I do now, um, I eat pretty well and obviously we test our blood sugar and I'm on a pump and I have a CGM. But then you didn't know what your blood sugar was. And when I became a teenager, I just ate and ate and ate and ate all the bad things. Nothing that was wasn't like vegetables and broccoli. It was like pizza and sugared sodas, and I will said pop up for a long time. In Colorado, you save pop instead of soda. But so I didn't take very good care of myself in terms of my diet. I always took my insulin. I never was someone who didn't take my insulin, but I didn't abide by my diet very well when I became a teenager.

Scott Benner 15:37
And so is it fair to say that you were probably only abiding that diet in the beginning? Because you're young enough to be controlled by the fear?

Cindy 15:49
Yeah, I think so. Plus, you know, when you're nine other people are generally feeding you. Um, and that lasted for a little while my family, it's interesting, my family, not getting told my family, but they didn't deal with me becoming diabetic very well. And they tried initially, and thank goodness or my sister who's 10 years older than me, she she was only 19 At the time, but she really did make a good concerted effort to watch my diet to teach me how to take my insulin. She was really great. And thank God I, I had her but my mom. Initially she was pretty engaged. But then she sort of checked out. And actually my father never learned anything about my diabetes, you'd always just say, Oh, he was too stupid to understand it.

Scott Benner 16:38
He just didn't want to be involved. Right? How many how many kids? Did your parents have?

Cindy 16:42
Three, and I'm the baby. Wow, Cindy, I'm

Scott Benner 16:45
gonna do something I don't normally do. But I need to take a break for one second, and I apologize but I will be back in two minutes. Okay. I'm so sorry. I'll explain why as soon as I get back.

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I'm back. Just make sure I've got my recording going again. So are you there? And yeah, I apologize there. So they're keeping in mind that I'm doing this. My wife is working downstairs, she's on a call with France. And I have two young people here cleaning up the house, like kind of outside a little bit. And I said to them, Hey, between 11 and 12, no, no loud stuff. And they're like, Okay, no problem. And then another person showed up to help them and didn't get that message. So. So there's this noise, that then my older dog is is responding to so my wife just texted me and she's like, Please do something. Alright, so I see a guy got something accomplished here, I asked him to move to a different place for a little while. So hopefully, the dog will calm down in a second anyway. I want to jump right back into it. Because I, I'm kind of fascinated by this, that you have this good recollection of the time. I want to go back to you saying you just thought you were probably gonna die. And I realized that that that's such an odd thought now, because management looks so different insulin, so different. Technology, so much different. But is, is that a freeing experience? Or is it a limiting experience to be told that your life's probably going to end short? And you will be blind when it's over?

Cindy 22:16
I think for me, it was limiting.

Scott Benner 22:20
I mean, I would imagine that I just I, I've also heard people just say like, Oh, I just thought, well, this is my lat. And then they ran forward.

Cindy 22:28
Yeah, and I think for me, it was limiting that I made certain assumptions that now are being challenged, I assumed that I would be the one who got sick, and my sister would be taking care of me. And that hasn't been the case at all. And I really worry about losing her first. And that just breaks my heart. I'm like, Oh, my goodness, like that. I didn't realize I had that assumption, when I was a kid, that I would be the one who would get sick. And I would die before my sister. So I kind of had that that was just the cosmic way. That was the way it was supposed to be. Sure it's gonna work out that way. Now. Here I am.

Scott Benner 23:06
Well, you know, you take this, this number, this 50 years number. And if you go back another 50 years, beyond 1971, you're coming right in at the advent of insulin. So being born another 60 years prior or being diagnosed 60 years prior to when you were you would have just died? Like they didn't even have insulin, it just would have been like, Hey, we're sorry, your kid's pancreas doesn't work anymore. They're going to die.

Cindy 23:32
Oh, yeah. I mean, it would have starved me to death, I would have died. So

Scott Benner 23:36
and so this is such an incredible improvement over that. And yet, your experience is still not what we would expect is expect the right word, not what we would hope for for a human beings life experience, except you somehow made it to a point where things changed. And you're seeing an incredible, I really feel like you're you're an interesting conversation because you have real world knowledge of both sides of this, it feels like to me was regular and mph. Not much of a difference. When did you get the faster acting insulin?

Cindy 24:13
Can you know I couldn't tell you for sure. I think it was maybe a little purer than the semi Wednesday and Monday. And I don't remember what the peaking time or anything like that. So my Wednesday, Monday was the thing I didn't like about regular and NPH was the absolute must eat lunch, you absolutely had to eat lunch. And even when I was in the sixth grade, I had to eat with a second graders because they ate earlier. And that was terrible. I mean, new sixth grade you want to be eating with the second graders so I never liked regular for that or even semi live day because you had to time your meals so closely to the insulin and that was problematic when I was in school. And when I was working. That was always Jag,

Scott Benner 25:00
what kind of? It's interesting, right? Back then nobody cared about kids. I know, like younger people don't understand, but nobody would think like, Oh, we're gonna make Cindy go to lunch with kids that are five and six years younger than her. She might not like that. They would just think that fixes the problem. And then that way,

Cindy 25:16
right? Definitely, yeah, no, there wasn't any of this touchy feely.

Scott Benner 25:21
But now, so let's, let's ask, what was it negatively impactful on you to sit? Because I assume everybody in that room thought of you as the sick kid who had to be there?

Cindy 25:32
Probably. Yeah. I mean, I was, I was more embarrassed. Because you know how the kids started to get that age, it was just just wasn't a lot of fun. anybody to talk to and then, and then what and then when my class would go to lunch, because I'd already eaten, they'd have me like, you know, work on the bulletin board or something like that. And interestingly, this is when I think my relationship with food started to really go south. I used to, because the teacher, one of our teachers used to give out candy to kids for rewards, while they couldn't obviously give it to me, but I used to steal her candy when I was working on her bulletin boards when everybody else was at lunch.

Scott Benner 26:15
And that's the first step in this adverse relationship with food.

Cindy 26:21
So mean actually as much candy as I was fed before I became diabetic. I'm not sure that was a great setup to begin with.

Scott Benner 26:29
Because it really felt like something got taken from you.

Cindy 26:31
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I even remember being in the hospital. When I was diagnosed and stealing Lemonheads from the little girls nightstand next to me in the room. I was in for a kid, right. So yeah, even remember, the Lemonheads to this day, though. Um,

Scott Benner 26:49
but that's a connection. So again, to kind of look backwards. You know, parents and their involvement with their children has grown over the decades. So this candy your father would bring home was probably a major connection point for the two of you, I would imagine. I think so. I think that's a good insight. Yeah. Yeah. And it's probably one of the only ways he knew how to show you. He cared about you. i I'm guessing because a guy in his 70s with kids is born in the 40s or 50s. I'm assuming born in 1913. Oh, my goodness. Excuse me. Yeah. So I'm not assuming he's, um, had some very warm upbringing coming through that time either. No, I

Cindy 27:33
don't think so. I think it was pretty rough.

Scott Benner 27:35
Do you have kids? No, I

Cindy 27:37
do not even have cats anymore. Like I can't. I'm a reformed cat lady. So I don't have no cats. I didn't have a significant other. And that's cool.

Scott Benner 27:47
So you might have just named this episode. And not meant to so you had to say something more interesting than reformed cat lady before this hours over? Thinking about that, oh my god, yeah, you're gonna be pissed when yours goes up, you're gonna be like, Oh, no. So Okay. Wow. Now, how was your health through that time? Like, or how was it measured? I guess?

Cindy 28:16
Um, that's a good question. I mean, we did the urine testing. And was actually my sister who found a doctor who was not just our general GP, who had some specialty in diabetes, but he wasn't endocrinologist by any mean. And his care was actually pretty mean. You know, you're gonna get your legs cut off. It wasn't real, effective. But it didn't make me want to try a whole lot harder, I must admit. Um, and I guess it was just by urine testing. And if you weren't losing weight, I don't really remember them paying a lot of tension and all of you, you took your insulin and you were on your way

Scott Benner 28:58
do not being dead was the measure of success. Yeah, I

Cindy 29:01
don't remember anything other than testing your urine. I don't remember them putting a lot of focus on anything else. It's different than it is now. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:11
When do you remember it? Shifting to a one CS and that kind of stuff.

Cindy 29:19
When I was in college, I don't think I had my first a one. See, John until I was in college.

Scott Benner 29:23
Do you have any idea? What was your sense? 11%? Yeah.

Cindy 29:27
And I think that hadn't been drawn. When I was a teenager. I could have very well been even higher. Yeah. So like I say, I'm pretty lucky than I'm here.

Scott Benner 29:38
And that wasn't shocking. It was just matter of fact, right? You're just like, hey, everyone's he's 11 Did they say that do something about it? Or,

Cindy 29:44
um, they were pretty dismayed. But I didn't really have anything to compare it to.

Scott Benner 29:49
Yeah, I can't imagine a 11% is an average blood sugar of 269.

Cindy 29:57
I know. Imagine how crappy I felt.

Scott Benner 29:59
Yeah. Well, that was my Next question is at some point, do you have hindsight for how it affected your mood and your overall life?

Cindy 30:07
Yeah, I think this is gonna be it's gonna sound like I'm really exaggerating, but I think I probably felt really physically bad like most of the time. And sometimes I wonder how it affected my outlook on life because I'm not necessarily the sunniest and curious person. But I wonder if you feel bad all the time, if that affects how you experience the world.

Scott Benner 30:32
Yeah. And just the cloudiness that comes with in the brain function that is limited by the blood sugar being higher all the time.

Cindy 30:40
Yeah. And I didn't even really realize that, that that had such an effect until the last few years until I mean, I've been controlling my blood sugar's pretty well for quite a while. But really, so to pay more attention because I can loopiness last two years. Yeah, I guess I'd never really put it together so much. How my moods were really dramatically affected by my blood sugar.

Scott Benner 31:02
Does it make you sad?

Cindy 31:05
Yeah, it does. I look back and think, oh, yeah, that wasn't so good. That was kind of rough. And not a great way to. I mean, I love seeing these parents now. Like on the, on the Facebook group, just being so proactive for their kids and so concerned. Conversely, sometimes I feel like they're a little tortured by the numbers. But still, I just am so pleased to see parents really stepping in and trying to do the best for their kids. That just makes me feel like, that's gonna Bode so well, for the kids will just like with you, and Arden too. It's like, oh, that just warms my heart so much to see parents trying so hard to manage such a difficult and frustrating disease,

Scott Benner 31:48
do it the way I kind of see it, I think is, is shifting the burden from the physical of the child, like in your example, to more of the stress and mental side, and at least it falls on the parents then. And not the kids I have to say to your story hits me right in. I mean, I don't know how long you've been listening, but I am, I have a real hard time with with the idea of wasted time. You know, like I I really upsets me to look back and see that days, weeks, months, years were spent in a way that they didn't need to be and that there's no way to go back and fix them or get you know, get that time back again. And your story just makes me feel like that. It's just that. That idea of like, I wonder who Cindy would have been without this kind of feeling. Yeah, yeah. And if you don't feel that way, I'm not trying to bum you out.

Cindy 32:45
No, it's it's an In fact, it. My diabetes is me, it does not feel separate from me. In fact, it took me a long time when I would go to see a new doctor and they'd say what medications you're on, I tell them what medications I was on. And they say, Aren't you on insulin to? Oh, yeah, that's right. So for me it's a big part of my identity. So I don't even know that I can go back and say well should have coulda woulda. And the thing is, Scott is if you didn't know how to do differently at the time, you just didn't know it was

Scott Benner 33:19
the best that they had. Yeah, no, it's all hindsight that allows you to feel that way. It's you know, I'm not saying that I'm curled up in a ball bemoaning every every bad decision I've ever made. It's just it's a sad idea that that to be born, then instead of 30 years later, leads you to say I'm not a person with a sunny disposition. And I wonder how much of that has to do with that? Because you you are, you seem like a well thought out reasonable person. Otherwise you're not. You don't seem like you're depressed. You're

Cindy 33:55
you haven't heard the whole story? No, I've worked for many, many, many, many years getting my head together I really have. So I feel like I'm pretty self aware. I'm pretty self observant. I've come a long ways.

Scott Benner 34:06
What did that path that you traveled look like?

Cindy 34:10
Pretty rough, and graduated high school, which was no big deal, because that was expected. And then I went to school in Boulder and took terrible care of myself. And I don't even know if I should mention this. But Boulder, University of Colorado was a big, big big school and I was really overwhelmed by it. I just wasn't ready for a state school. Not at all. So I got proselyte I was proselytize and join this church that was a near cult. And it was just crazy in retrospect. And I was in it for a couple of years. And I just decided you know, I don't like what these people are doing. This is this is not cool. And so I left and they all ostracize me. So all these kids who I thought were my friends wouldn't have anything to do with me. So we're we're stuck in this big state school with all these kids who were acting like I was just, you know, something terrible that shouldn't be dealt with. And I wonder if that's part of what sent me into my first depression. So I was actually hospitalized when I was in college when I was a senior, so I had to go to the five year plan. But I've graduated, and got myself together for a couple years, but then I moved to Washington DC, from Colorado, and the East Coast is very different. I think you grew up in Philly. So I did not be able to relate to this. But the East Coast is very different than the West, it's just different. It's more fast moving, and people aren't as friendly. Um, so there was a bunch of other circumstances that happened at that same time, and just an attack that had really severe retinopathy. I discovered about a year after I moved here. So I actually got really depressed again, and was hospitalized again. So that was a really bad time in my life, I had really severe retinopathy, and I was hospitalized for a long time. And unfortunately, I made a couple of attempts, which I'm not crazy about. But I'll tell you this, that since then, it's so lucky that I was able to go to the hospital that I was able to go to, though surance company would pay for that now, because it really, I got better. And I've not been hospitalized since then. And I've just been able to incrementally make my life better, better and better with each passing decade. So I think had I not gone to that hospital when I was 30. That's actually where I had my 30th birthday. Um, I would never have gotten better and might not even be here. Wow. So

Scott Benner 36:40
Cindy, you just got rid of your reformed cat lady title, you did a good job there that was thinking you're like, wait a minute, I can get out of this. No, wow. Okay. Let me make sure I understand that picture a little bit. So as a senior in college, did you have what I guess they would have referred to back then as a breakdown of some kind?

Cindy 37:04
Yeah, I got really, really super depressed and it's hard to quite figure out now I did make a pretty serious attempt. And that was really scary. And in retrospect, now, it makes me really sad. Looking back at that young woman, I'm like, what a rough way to get started on your adult life. You know, like, that's, that's not great. But I got through it. And I was hospitalized a couple of times, maybe two or three times. Didn't the longest at the time was a month. But then I got out and moved back to Denver and pretty much got my act together and got my first job and did really well until I moved out here. And then things kind of went all the heck, then

Scott Benner 37:47
what do you have any idea what precipitated the first hospitalization?

Cindy 37:52
I think it was really leaving the church and having everybody just just kind of shun you. Yeah. Plus, my family was a bit of a wreck too. So I don't think that helped is really hard for my mom from for her to lose me to have me go to college and be independence. And so I think there's a combination of things.

Scott Benner 38:14
And then you did finish up school. You traveled east? And then and I'm sorry, but when you say attempts, you mean suicide, right? Unfortunately, yeah. Okay. And then and so you had a couple of more goes with it there. And then were hospitalized a couple more times, I would imagine around the attempts.

Cindy 38:34
Yeah, yeah, I was, I was pretty sick. And so I was having I couldn't work. I was having a really hard time working. But I was also going blind at the time, not blind, but it looked like I was going to go blind because I have really significant retinopathy in both eyes. And so I was having a lot of laser treatments. And somebody who had promised to move you for these sorts of for somebody who promised to move here with me didn't. And so that sort of broke my heart. And then Washington was, was different than Denver. And it was really hard for me to sort of scale up to me now, I could do it because I know what cities are like, but then I didn't know I mean, I grew up in suburbia, almost a rural area. So it was very different moving here. It was hard and then almost going blind didn't help either. So it's like a confluence of things.

Scott Benner 39:23
Yeah. No, just a lot of stuff that all felt like it had no exit. I feel like

Cindy 39:28
Yeah, I mean, it was scary thinking about going blind. I mean, I felt like I dealt with it pretty well. Like I went to the Columbia Lighthouse for the Blind and saw their apartment that they had you stay in and things that they could teach you and so I felt like I've dealt with it pretty well, but it didn't mean it wasn't scary.

Scott Benner 39:45
Well, so you were really oh gosh, okay, so you were headed towards blindness and preparing for it. And yeah,

Cindy 39:52
oh yeah, I thought for sure. My my, my retina guy who I love Oh, thank God for this guy. Um, he saved my vision. He didn't say anything at the time. But many years later he said, Yeah, your retinopathy was pretty bad. And for a doctor to admit that even many years later is usually means it was pretty bad. You know, usually they're not that forthcoming. So yeah, it was really bad. I have like 18 laser treatments, because this is the era of lasers and for have attracted me is I guess,

Scott Benner 40:25
oh my gosh, Is it painful to have worked on your eyes like that?

Cindy 40:29
Yeah, well, the creepy thing is if you have an ocular block, it's not so bad, but ocular blocks. In fact, you can't feel anything if you have an ocular blood. But the ocular box really creepy because they have to inject anesthesia in your face so that the needle gets back to your ocular nerve. And you can't close your eye. So they're coming at you with this big needle. I mean, I'm sure people who are getting shots of their eyes now from for retinopathy, I'm sure they have similar stories. I don't know what the shots are like now. And the attractive bees. They're just a pain because I couldn't drive for a long time. For a while I couldn't see people's faces. And that was really dismayed. You take for granted how much you information you gather and how much connection you have to see people's faces.

Scott Benner 41:17
Yeah, I have to tell you, the short story is still I can't quite get the tightness in the chill out of the top of my spine, but I'm working on it because I think I drew myself a picture while you were talking.

Cindy 41:28
Creeps people out that story does and it was pretty creepy. Don't close your eyes. That's a really big needle. It's right under your eye to get back to your ocular nerve.

Scott Benner 41:38
Okay, okay. All right. Good. What we're gonna skip over that. Oh, my gosh. What? So I'm assuming, you know, the control is what set you towards the retinopathy. So is, is that the moment where you figure out how to manage in a different way or not?

Cindy 41:58
It did bring me up short, I really do. And at the time, 20 years out from diagnosis was usually typical for getting retinopathy or being diagnosed with retinopathy. And once again, I had thought, oh, once again, I met the milestone. 20 years, there I am. But that's when I started to think, no, maybe this could be different. You know, maybe you don't have kids and that next milestone, which is the kidney failure, maybe you can promise I didn't have the best relationship with food. I used food a lot to comfort myself. So it was difficult to sort of get around that. And it took me quite a few years to stop using food to comfort myself. And then the other thing is I have wicked sweets. It's just a wicked, sweet tooth. So that's always been problematic. being diabetic, too.

Scott Benner 42:47
How did you how did you overcome the food discomfort?

Cindy 42:52
I think I, some of it's just gaining mental health. Okay. I think introspection and connection is support. And I think a lot of it is just mental health. Oh, I'm using my hands again, my bracelets bumping against my watch. So let me stop doing Thank you.

Scott Benner 43:09
You see, you just you sort of found more clarity in your life overall, and then didn't have to go to the food in the same way.

Cindy 43:17
Exactly. Yeah. Okay.

Scott Benner 43:21
I have to collect myself for a second. Like I remember your email, but I wasn't 100% ready this morning. So there's a lot going on here. And so I didn't have I usually take a couple of minutes to like, gather what I'm thinking about before I sit down, but you and I just sat right down. And there were a couple of technical problems. And then like 30 minutes later, you have a needle in your eye. And it's I want to make sure I do do justice to your story here. Okay, let's see. So, so the shifting your relationship with food, does that coincide with a better understanding of insulin? Or was that in itself just a big improvement for you?

Cindy 44:03
It's a big improvement. I think it just gave me more just mental health so that I wasn't turning to food for comfort. I was turning to other things. And you know, I'm, I'm not you talk a lot about knowing about how insulin works. Still not sure I know how insulin works. I mean, I know how it works. I understand how it works and I understand peaking and all that good stuff but sometimes I still feel a little flum expire, like what is this about which is jumping far ahead but I'm actually experimenting with eating and low carb because I just can't get this carbohydrates thing down I Pre-Bolus I do all kinds of things. Now my budget gets high and then it gets low and then I get frustrated and then I you know start griping about it and some really trying to low carb things like blood sugars are just so much better and they're not. It's just

Scott Benner 44:54
easier. I would do whatever is best, especially when you have advanced it shoes. I mean, that just sort of makes sense to me. And you're willing to do it. And it's not causing you any kind of emotional trouble to Ed that way. So I would do it.

Cindy 45:12
Yeah, I'm working on it. Because I really I think that needs a little bit of help, though, because I keep having lows. So I got to kind of figure that out. But I'm pretty on top of everything.

Scott Benner 45:20
What is it? We need a little good news here? What is your agency right now?

Cindy 45:25
Oh, I'm so proud of my agency. This last one was 6.3%. And the one before that was 6%. So really excited about those because that's the first time I've been able to break seven. Well, no, I broken 10% A couple times, but only like 6.8. So that 6.0 I was so excited. I posted on Facebook, this is what my human will name once he is wow. I was really excited. So and actually looping and being exposed to your group. And a lot of the things that I've learned just in the two years that I've been looping have also really helped me gain better control. What pump are you using with the loop? I'm using old Medtronic pump. Okay, cool. Oh, that's

Scott Benner 46:07
amazing. Good for you. That's just so that is so exciting. So you're telling me that this, this improvements, only a couple of years old for you?

Cindy 46:17
This market improvement? Yeah, yeah. No, I've always really struggled to break that. 7%. And there's also something that I've picked up from you. And I wonder if it wasn't part of my thinking is that well, that's just the way diabetes is. Is if you think about it, that's kind of how I grew up, right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 46:37
No, every step of the way it was don't eat sugar, or you'll lose your eyes. That's what happens. And and and other messages like that. And then by the time you're 30, your site is impacted. I don't see how you wouldn't believe that.

Cindy 46:53
Yeah, so it's been interesting to sort of recognize that be like, Wow, that point there.

Scott Benner 47:01
Thank you. This makes me feel nice. Thank you. I, I have to say that has always, just from the beginning, robbed me, oddly, from the very start of my daughter having diabetes, and a doctor, intimating it and then being, you know, starting a blog and having more contact with people who had type one and seeing other people who were writing about it. I just, I just really much rub up against that idea of like, well, this is it like this is it, there's nothing you can do about it. I hate it when people say that's just diabetes. In even when they're just being flippant about it, which I understand completely, when you're just joking a little bit, it still makes me uneasy, because I think someone's gonna see that. And that's going to be their thing that they use to give up and say, say, somebody else agrees with me. This is the best I can do. It's not my fault. It's not because I don't understand something. It's because the magic diabetes fairy has controlled my life. And so this I'm just on a wild ride to the end now. And, and I don't think that needs to be I mean, your example, proves that out over and over again. Do you have any other autoimmune issues?

Cindy 48:20
A little bit of hypothyroidism but really lucky, I have some other complications, but they haven't been debilitating anywhere bilateral frozen shoulders and getting the tendinopathy type things like the trigger fingers and that dupa Chin's contracture, I think it's called some getting more of the sort of tendinopathy stuff, but it's not so terrible that I can't and the frozen shoulders are pretty bad, but they're not like going blind or being in kidney failure or having your feet amputated or anything like that. I mean, they were a pain, but no pun intended. But I, you know, I've got through those,

Scott Benner 48:59
you go through them real quickly with me, frozen shoulder, how does that present?

Cindy 49:04
Your shoulder freezes, actually, it was really incredibly painful, usually to non dominant side. Really, really painful, you lose range of motion. Now, they, when you look online, it'll say, oh, usually resolves in six months or 12 months or 18 months. For me. It started in 2006. And I was just able to swim again, with both arms across the pool last summer.

Scott Benner 49:32
So we swimming in a circle up until then,

Cindy 49:35
exactly, it was one arm. Yeah, um, but then it happened to my other arm too. And that I was really unhappy about because it was so painful. My left shoulder wasn't happened to my other shoulder on my on my shoulder. And I just knew my shoulder was never going to be the same and that really frustrated me that I was really cranky about it didn't get as bad as my left shoulder. So that's encouraging, but it's still not bad. So what it was before it froze, I'm

Scott Benner 50:02
sorry. Is There A Treatment For or

Cindy 50:06
physical therapy, which I found to be well, actually a full honestly. And I wish I'd done more research had it manipulated under anesthesia, where they just manipulate your arm and terrible the scar tissue. I really regret doing that, because it's really painful. And they couldn't give me cortisone. And they sent me to physical therapy the next day. It was good. It was terrible.

Scott Benner 50:29
So you're telling me that they shot you up? So you couldn't feel it? And then manipulated your arm in a way that broke up all that? And then there was no medication afterwards? Exactly. And then wanted you to keep moving it?

Cindy 50:40
Exactly.

Scott Benner 50:41
How long was that process?

Cindy 50:43
Quite a while. Um, I think I did physical therapy for a while. And that was incredibly painful. I think we've time it would have gotten better on its own. I don't think that going through all that made it better any faster. I think with time it would have resolved I say,

Scott Benner 51:01
what were the other two things you mentioned, there was something about your hands, I feel like

Cindy 51:05
your finger your finger gets locked. Okay. It's a tendon thing. And pretty typical with type one, I think, well, what diabetes in general, and then is new for me the stupid Chin's contracture, it does what it's called. So you get these lumps in your hands, and then doesn't have everybody doesn't progress, the same for everybody. But you get cords that extend from these lumps in your hand, and they draw your fingers in towards the palm of your hand.

Scott Benner 51:35
Oh, no kidding. A gradual thickening and tightening of tissue under the skin. And the hand condition most often affects the fourth ring, and fifth little finger over time, can cause one or more fingers to stay bent towards the palm. This can complicate everyday activity, so it doesn't like you can't make it go back.

Cindy 51:56
I can't Well, my hands are not so bad now. I mean, I have the bumps in my hands, the lumps, but my fingers are fine.

Scott Benner 52:03
And did they did these did that get better as your blood sugar improved?

Cindy 52:08
This is a recent thing. Oh, it's recent. Started? I'd say within the last year six months. So seems is that it's kind of frustrating that I have an A one C 6%. Yet I'm still getting these. What are considered complications.

Scott Benner 52:24
That sucks that it sucks that? I don't know if you've, you know, Jenny from the like, the pro tip episodes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. She always makes that point that she wants people to understand that. You can't bank good health. And that and I just, it sucks because you put all that work in and you came all this way. And you figured out so much. It just sucks that there's not a there's not a not a trophy at the end full of like, I don't know, you know, no complications or something like that. Yeah, it is unfortunate. Yeah, you don't you don't win a you don't win a prize like that. You do win. I mean, feeling better. Do you see yourself as a different person now? Like, forget the depression and the emotions and all that stuff. But just clarity wise, do you feel different?

Cindy 53:13
Yes, yes. And people have told me I'm different to well, Q is told me I'm different. He's like, Oh, this low carb thing must be great. Because you're so nice. What am I like, what? I'm not nice? You've been so sweet lately, like, okay, I guess I'm really reaching when I'm not like,

Scott Benner 53:31
you gotta you gotta throw a special shout out to all the significant others in the world who who are with somebody who's impacted like that, because it's difficult to love a person who is I don't know what the word is, but not always the way you expect them to be. And yeah,

Cindy 53:51
here it's tough. I mean, it's hard for me to relate to you because I'm the one who happened to low blood sugar. Right? So no, right. I used to be in pain since and I know it can be really hard on him sometimes, particularly when it's like, what is this about? And if I don't recognize it's low, you can get pretty pretty. Yeah, pretty quickly. And then I always feel so bad, but then part of me doesn't feel bad because I'm like, Well, I didn't.

Scott Benner 54:17
It wasn't me. City. Are you? Are you I mean,

Cindy 54:21
that doesn't quite slide that I mean, it's true. That that I don't know.

Scott Benner 54:27
It's true for you. And not that important to him. Exactly. Yes. Right. It's everybody's got their truth in this and not one is more more deserving of attention than the other it's just it's what it is. It's what it means to be with somebody who you know might get a low blood sugar and you're the mean drunk equivalent of getting a low Are you like personally mean when you're

Cindy 54:51
like candy? Yeah, I can really, I just lose all reason. You know, they just, they just think that oh, things that shouldn't set you off are things that are not a big deal. And he was so sweet the other day he make breakfast. And that's kind of a rare occurrence. And so he was really proud of that foolish me, I took my insulin much too far ahead thinking I'd Pre-Bolus thinking he'll be done and he wasn't done. And so a bunch of got really low. And I blamed it on him. I said, you took too long making breakfast? Well,

Scott Benner 55:25
that ain't gonna get your breakfast again anytime soon.

Cindy 55:31
So, so that was that was not a good diagnosis. If

Scott Benner 55:34
you're lucky, you didn't have to catch a box of Grape Nuts coming into your head in that situation.

Cindy 55:39
I you know, later, I felt really bad. It wasn't his fault. You should have you know, had, we should have asked him when is this going to be ready? When's your best guess? But I took my insulin thinking that I was making breakfast and it would take me this long to finish breakfast. Not Hello, it would take him to finish breakfast.

Scott Benner 55:58
Yeah, I know, this isn't diabetes. But I have mentioned on the show a number of times I, I found out that my irons been low for a fairly significant swath of my adult life. And that I have it up now where it belongs. And the same exact things, you're talking about just having reactions to things that aren't commensurate to what's happening. Like, it could be like getting upset about just nothing. And it feels completely legitimate while you're doing it. It does not feel like it doesn't feel like Oh, I'm now upset about something that I shouldn't be, you're like, This thing feels incredibly important in that moment, and every one of your reactions feels warranted. And the people around you don't know your irons low, at least at least they can look at you and think like, I bet her blood sugar's low, you know, I for until it was identified, no one knew it. And then even after it's identified, the thing that I noticed that was kind of crushing from my side, but I think relates to what you just said, and is understandable, is that it didn't immediately wipe the slate clean with the people around me who had to experience it.

Cindy 57:09
That's probably true. Yeah, it's not like you're given all of a sudden, okay, we understand,

Scott Benner 57:15
right? It's hard to give away. You can't just give away feelings that you've had in the past, because you now understand why they happen. You can't just forget them. Now, that's a good point. Yeah. And it's, it's, um, anyway, that's, it's sad to me that that happened to me or that it happens to other people. Because I do have that feeling of like, I wonder how I would have been in these scenarios. Like, I wonder how much of what my children think of me would have been different if my iron level was 30 points higher, which is so ridiculous. You know, because I am definitely different now. And just by different I mean, like, I don't find myself being irritated by things or upset or gruff. nearly as much I still, you know, like, sometimes something just makes you upset, but the threshold for it is so much higher now.

Cindy 58:02
Have other people noticed it too? Or have you just mainly noticed it

Scott Benner 58:06
in my family? Everyone here knows. Good? Yeah. Good. So,

Cindy 58:10
Jamie, it's nice to have that positive. You know that what's what's the word? I just like? Just like so much validation, validation.

Scott Benner 58:17
You don't like the word validation? No, no. It's because you're, it's because you're gruff. Cindy. Don't be talking about positive stuff. All the soft kids nowadays. You know, I'm just Well, I mean, you've been through Cindy, and I made a cursor, you've been through a hell of a thing, really is something else. And you You seem really good natured about it now. And try to be pretty

Cindy 58:45
open about it. I'm pretty. I mean, this is a phrase that I'm not crazy about, but it is applicable many times it is what it is. It's like well, that was my history. And not a lot I can do about it. Now. Like you were saying earlier, there's me you can't go back and change things. And maybe it's part of what's me. Me Me now.

Scott Benner 59:10
Yeah, I have to say that I had no intention of this when we started talking, but this is an after dark episode.

Cindy 59:17
I thought it might be the other day you posted on Facebook. Like I'm looking for people for more after dark episodes. And I got you. I almost posted we have a date. Just wait.

Scott Benner 59:30
I held off. No, it really is. And I'll tell you these, like I find this conversation with you. enlightening, and it feels it's a little difficult for me because I don't have the ability to talk about things preferentially. You know, like I can remember like a friend of mines father passing away and you know, he's crying and I'm joking about it at the same time. Like I don't know how to I'm not good. That, like, I'm not good at just, I also don't think anybody would listen. By the way, if this was an hour of you just recounting a horror story after horror story, I don't think people would be able to get through it. And I think I was gonna say a lot. But I think everything that you just said, is incredibly important to hear for people. And I want them to be able to get through it, and and to listen to it and to hear that you're still a person who has a life. You're not. You're not a case. You don't I mean, yeah.

Cindy 1:00:25
So I mean, that's part of the reason I, when you said, you know, you think you'd be a good candidate for the podcast, I thought, well, you know, it's been 50 years, and I want people to know that you can make it that long, even if you were diagnosed in the dark ages. And just to just to give people a sense of like, yeah, you can get through. And so that's part of the reason because I thought, well, you know, maybe people can glean something from my experience. And if that's the case, that's great, right?

Scott Benner 1:00:52
Just imagine, and just, well, first of all, I'm sure that that's the case. But just imagine 50 years from now, I'm 100 years old, I'm doing this podcast, and and I'm interviewing somebody who was diagnosed, you know, this year, and that how much different their story is gonna be, they're gonna, they're gonna, they're gonna have a story that sounds like I was diagnosed. My parents were scared. They got me a continuous glucose monitor. A year later, I get you started using an algorithm that kept my blood sugar stable. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't notice it. I mean, it sucked having diabetes, but their story is gonna not mirror yours in any way. Hope. So I really hope that's the case. At least, it could be I guess,

Cindy 1:01:35
I hope so. I really do. I think it could be I think just even within the last 10 years, I mean, CGM, and comps and it was on a pump quite a while before I was on a CGM. I'm not really sure how I ever did it. Didn't have very good information to be on the pump. And I would rather be with if I ever had to give up one of the one of the other I'd give up my pump before I'd give up my CGM. I always tell everybody that

Scott Benner 1:01:59
well, yeah. And I would say I was gonna ask you as a person who's had diabetes, this long, greatest adventure ever for diabetes. What's a CGM is the greatest Advent for diabetes that you've seen. Yeah,

Cindy 1:02:11
yeah, better than the better insulins better even then the pumps. I think the CGM is just I know everybody uses this phrase. But as a game changer, I really do think it's just, it's just, it's just remarkable. It's probably the best thing that's come along, in my opinion. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:02:27
I have to agree. I don't have nearly as much time with this as you do. Being around it. But I, I haven't seen anything that's more impactful than this. There's ways around some of the other stuff. But this thing is just it just allows you to make decisions that are are so much more accurate and thoughtful.

Cindy 1:02:46
Yeah, I'm also curious about algorithm pumping. Loop has made a big difference. I did looping for two years now. And what you will hear so many people mentioned if you've mentioned is sleeping through the night, in fact, it was cute. Not too long after I was on loop. My significant other said, How come your alarms not going off in the middle of the night?

Scott Benner 1:03:11
Yeah, excuse me, um, you know, harden has been using loop for a long time. And I'm still very excited to try like Omni pod five, because sort of like what we just talked about is, is that if, if if if Arden can get on on the pod five, and it works, the way loop works, it still takes out that little piece, there's no connecting that Riley link ideas gone. And that just makes it incrementally better again, and so I have my fingers crossed for it. I can't wait to try it. And see. Well, I

Cindy 1:03:39
think there's a lot of good things coming down the pike. Yeah, control

Scott Benner 1:03:42
like you from tandem. People seem to love Medtronic is going to refresh their algorithm, I would imagine sooner than later. You know, it can only get better. Like, I really feel like when Arden's in her 20s I might even be shocked by what's going on.

Cindy 1:04:01
I hope so. I really do. I hope so. I mean, I really, I really want the kids who have been diagnosed down kids, the parents of the kids I see. Like in the Facebook group, I really want those kids to do well. And it just warms my heart so much that people are looking out for their kids. And this sounds silly, I know. But it really does just because parents should look out for their kids, but it is a different era. And I really love it when parents even though I feel bad for them sometimes because it is it is a burden for sure. And I do feel like they can be a little tortured by the numbers and see that's one thing that was easier. There were no numbers when I was a kid. But it wasn't healthier. So I would I would take the numbers over not knowing the numbers.

Scott Benner 1:04:46
I enjoyed listening to you talk yourself through that just now. Honestly, I really did because because you have like a you have there's some romantic feeling about diabetes prior to understanding the data where you're like I didn't really have to think about it. But then you're like, but look where it led. Maybe it would be better if I just had to have thought about it. Which you you agree with, because you said to me earlier, you know, when you heard me say, you know, don't listen when somebody says, Oh, that's just diabetes. I feel like those two things connect somehow. So it's very cool. Did this podcast help you, Cindy?

Cindy 1:05:22
Oh, yeah, no, this has been great. It's really nice to be able to tell my story. Because probably not the best story ever. But I do, I just want to give people some hope that I have made it 50 years. And yeah, that's some complications. But I also didn't take very good care of myself, and had I taken better care of myself. And I also think I'm very lucky. I think I may mention this in my email, but a friend that I went to summer camp with died when she was 35. And so I feel very, very, very fortunate to be here. And she did not take very good care of herself. Plus, her mother had died, and she had been type one. So I feel really, really fortunate to still be here. And I need to remember that on my cranky days are on my sort of very lucky,

Scott Benner 1:06:08
I think the thing, the nicest thing you've said in the last hours that you feel lucky. I think that's great for people to hear. Because you maybe did just get a little lucky. Like, that's a great example, like things go a little bit different one way or the other. And your friend, you know, loses her life in her 30s diagnosed around the same time, as you imagined. Yeah. And so starting from that point, you had as much chances not as being that way, too. I would assume as many people probably were, who were diagnosed back then. And yeah, and instead, you've got a you things, as much as your description makes it sound like things didn't go well. They at least went into a way that you're here. And you have this new clarity, and an opportunity to take better care of yourself. So when absolutely

Cindy 1:06:59
no, I'm very lucky, and also helps with my mom's 95 I think I've got good genetic loading too.

Scott Benner 1:07:05
I was gonna say you might be a little bit of a genetic badass and not even know. Badass or like, no, seriously, like, your body might just have like, its own pseudo armor or something. And that's my Yeah, it's important for people to remember too, we all don't get the same. The same go. So that's another great reasons to take incredible care yourself.

Cindy 1:07:26
Yeah, I agree. I agree. And the playing fields, not even our level what I knew for tificate those things, right? I'm always like, throw rocks at brick.

Scott Benner 1:07:36
level playing field was the right way to go. I should have said that I used 1000 words, instead of just saying everyone's playing fields, not level. But I think that's important cuz you don't know when you're diagnosed. If you've got Cindy's constitution or somebody else's. And you know, so taking the best care of yourself, you can is going to give you the best opportunity. And I think that's really all you can do. Like, I feel like if that's what you did, then whenever things go wrong, if they go wrong, at least you can say to yourself, there was no better way for me to have done this. Oh, I

Cindy 1:08:09
agree. I think you should give yourself a fighting chance. I really do.

Scott Benner 1:08:12
Wow, you're really but this was wonderful. Did we not talk about anything that you were hoping to talk about?

Cindy 1:08:17
No, I think we've covered it. Wow. You were delightful. Oh, thank you. I was hoping for that. I was like, I wonder if that's gonna say I'm delightful.

Scott Benner 1:08:25
Oh, I'm delighted. That's how I know you were delightful. Can I be honest, maybe you weren't. But I'm delighted. So maybe that's what I just touched like people. Like do you think people who we get to the end and I don't say their delight for do you think they're let down? A lot. Do I? I don't know. I really found this delighting.

Cindy 1:08:44
I look good. That's a compliment. Thank

Scott Benner 1:08:46
you. Oh, 100%. I am. I used to find myself at the beginning of new episodes. When I set them up to put them out. I'd be like, I love this episode. It's my favorite one. And I thought that sounds disingenuous. So I stopped saying it. But I do feel like that. Like, I never put out an episode where I'm like, This is crap. You know, like I,

Cindy 1:09:05
I think that comes through so that I think people can tell that I hope you can tell that you've put thought into it and that you've engaged people and the only thing that's been hard for me is I keep wanting to ask you questions, but I had to remind myself No, no.

Scott Benner 1:09:19
Well, you want to ask me a question asked me a question.

Cindy 1:09:21
Well, I'm just curious, like, what's gonna happen when Arden goes to school? Just those kind of questions. I just think about these things. I don't know that is thinking about your family. It's none of my business.

Scott Benner 1:09:31
I'll feel a couple from you. But so the first one you just asked, that is the favorite question of long time type ones. Really? Yes, people who have had diabetes for a long time, who experienced it? This is me in firing, but experienced it prior to glucose sensing and blood glucose, blood glucose meters that could be used more frequently with more accuracy. People who were just in that like take a shot in the morning try to eat around Hear sliding scale, anyone who grew up through that, I imagine didn't have as much connection with their parents and their care. And so this amount of connections seems this is a lot of me in firing, but I feel like this amount of connection feels like it's not real, or it's too much, because it's not as it's way more than what you got. And therefore, it feels like Arden must have no grasp of diabetes, and will be lost when she's like, set free into the world does that about how it makes you feel?

Cindy 1:10:36
Yeah, I confess that I do worry about that. I have thought about it. But I wonder about both of you just like how the dynamics dynamics are gonna change. I don't know why think about

Scott Benner 1:10:45
well, when she leaves, I'm just gonna have to go adopted another kid with diabetes to give me something.

Cindy 1:10:49
I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Gotta have some fodder to so no, I think she'll do great. I just interesting to hear and to think about just like, wow, cuz I know, she's, she's getting pretty close

Scott Benner 1:11:01
to be 17. This summer. Again, she's looking at colleges. And she's gonna, at some point, we're going to do some interviews on the podcast weather, and I'm going to try to talk her through some of the ideas that I think she's gonna need to know. Like, I'm gonna talk to her. Yeah. And at the same time, it's not like, it's not like when she goes to college, I'm going to tell her never contact me again. So that we could do that. No, I'm

Cindy 1:11:21
sure that's true. I just think it's, it'll be interesting. And I won't be seeing because I'm not in your household and not living next door. But the dynamics will be interesting to see how they play out. I mean, I think she'll do really well. I don't have any doubt about that. I'll be curious to hear where she goes to school.

Scott Benner 1:11:37
I can't wait. I can't wait to talk about it. Like I already told her. I was like, I'm gonna keep doing the podcast, even after you move out, you know, and she's like, why won't even be here? I'm like, I still think we're gonna talk. And if not, then we'll talk about the disillusion of our connection around diabetes. Like, there's, there's plenty to talk about still?

Cindy 1:11:53
Well, there's plenty. And I've been thinking about it. She was like, No, you know, even when she does move out, and she's not under the same roof, or when she goes to school, she may be under the same roof sometime. There will still be plenty of things to navigate with diabetes. Yeah, I mean, so you guys, you'll have plenty to talk about, I'm sure.

Scott Benner 1:12:12
And on top of that, just between her and my wife and I, I have a unique situation here. I've talked to more people with diabetes than maybe some doctors have, right. And so I'm fairly aware of the pitfalls that lie ahead. And I hold no illusion that they're going to miss Arden because I'm the guy with the podcast, who knows how to make your agency stable? Do you know what I mean? Like that? I don't feel like she's gonna miss those things about having diabetes just because of her connection to me. So I want to be sure, yeah, so I want to be there. And as much as she wants me to be is the other thing too. Like, you know, I'm not gonna infringe on her life. But I'm trying to set up a relationship now where she'll feel comfortable reaching out and saying, Hey, Dad, I my blood sugar has been 200 for three days, and I don't know what I'm doing, you know, like so. Because that's

Cindy 1:13:03
just what I've been able to infer from fi I think you've set your kids up like that. Anyway, I hope so aggressively, be more independent. I think you've done a good job there.

Scott Benner 1:13:12
And at the same time, be willing to just like, I got a note from my son the other day that, you know, it felt like a 12 year old Senate to me, but I thought that was good, because it felt like he bumped into something that he just didn't understand. And instead of just ignoring it, he's like, Well, let me get some more context for this so I can deal with it better.

Cindy 1:13:30
Oh, that's great. That'll do it really well. Oh, so you're both of them as adult? I've

Scott Benner 1:13:34
all my fingers crossed right now.

Cindy 1:13:36
So you know, you're sure me

Scott Benner 1:13:37
too. What else? Oh, God asked me something else.

Cindy 1:13:40
That now It slipped my mind. It's made me curious about Arden. And how the dynamics were going to change because I can't think of the other question I had. So I guess I can't ask any more questions.

Scott Benner 1:13:49
Well, if you think of them, you let me know. I really appreciate you doing this. I really thought I thought this was wonderful. And I and I think you dug through a lot of personal stuff over a lot of decades, which can't be easy, and I really appreciate your desire for other people to hear it. So thank you very much.

Cindy 1:14:07
Well, thank you. I've really enjoyed myself.

Scott Benner 1:14:08
I'm glad this is an after dark use the length of time she's had diabetes. That's the title. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Kaipa pen at G voc glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox you spell that GVOKEGL You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. Also want to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter remind you that you deserve an accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter. Find out more at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox and take the T one D exchange survey T one D exchange.org forward slash juice box you just have to be a US resident have type one or care for someone with type one thank you so much for listening I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast

#584 Diabetes Variables: Walmart

Diabetes Variables: Walmart

Scott and Jenny Smith, CDE share insights on type 1 diabetes care

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 584 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I have a brief diabetes variables episode for you with me and Jenny Smith. I'll be getting to it in just a few moments. Before I start, please let me remind you that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. if I'm remembering correctly, there's three more variables episodes left, and then they're done. Took all year but I thought it was a really good idea. And I hope you enjoyed it. For today, I have one for you that is very real, and yet may be misunderstood by some people. My friend Jenny Smith has had type one diabetes since she was a child for over 30 years. Jenny holds a bachelor's degree in Human Nutrition and biology from the University of Wisconsin. She is a registered and licensed dietitian, a certified diabetes educator and a certified trainer and most make some models of insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitors. I don't usually put so much effort into timing the episodes, but this one's for Black Friday.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by trial net. And trial net offers type one diabetes risk screening at no cost to relatives of people with type one diabetes, you can sign up right now at trial net.org. Forward slash juicebox. I don't know if this is just a thing from online. But how many times have you heard someone with type one diabetes say that Walmart makes their blood sugar? Go low? Yeah.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:03
Or any really I mean, it doesn't have to be that brand name place. But yes, but absolutely. But

Scott Benner 2:10
online. It's it's a moniker right? I went to Walmart, my blood sugar, I'm on my way to Walmart, I know my blood sugar is going to get low. Okay, so is it as simple as people are maybe sedentary in their day to day life. And now all of a sudden they're up, they're moving around, they're driving, they're getting out of their car, they're walking through the parking lot. They're walking through Walmart, they've added activity, probably with an insulin on board that's meant for sitting around.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:37
That's the simplest explanation of anything. Yes. I mean, that's it's not rocket science, quite honestly. And it's, it's longer term lingering. It's not that you for the most part, people aren't running in and getting batteries at Target. And then they end up back in the car. And then they're low. That's this is like, Okay, I'm planning you know, the trip to Walmart or wherever it is. And it's a trip, it's you're doing your errands, you're getting things done, it may not just be there, you may also be going to the grocery store, you may love be lugging bags and think of I mean most big places like a target or a Walmart these days, or not just go in for like underwear, right? They are like the super targets. They are the stores, you can buy your water jugs there. You can buy gigantic things of totally lit paper, or whatever it is. So you might be doing a little bit more activity than just walking around popping things into your car

Scott Benner 3:39
doing a bit of an excursion. You're lifting things. You're right. Yeah, maybe you're doing the like, Oh, let me look at the shower curtains before I go buy milk because it's all in place. And you're humping around. And then you get low at Walmart. All right, correct.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 3:55
Yes. And, you know, quite honestly, if you're a parent of a child, and you're the person with diabetes, and your children are young enough that they won't sit in the cart anymore. And then they're running around and they're in between all the aisles. You're not only putting things in your cart, you're now chasing around a lot more in terms of, you know, activity.

Scott Benner 4:17
It's it's interesting that anecdotally, I mean, I understand that it's joking for the most part, but then you do see a couple of people say very earnestly, like Walmart makes me low. Like they like they don't see it as well WalMart where I shop, it's not Walmart, it's this is where I'm going shopping, and they don't make the connection between the exercise. And the thing like it's such a weird A B that the people's minds have some time

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:44
right it's just it's the store right? It's the stores fault that I went low. I mean, it's it's funny because quite honestly, I mean everybody in terms of like, nobody's perfect with diabetes. And myself. I have had to like grab a bag Have like gummy bears the middle of target shopping because I was like, I started out fine. I planned that, you know, like all the things that you would plan knowing what was coming. And it still didn't work out the way that you did. And now with, you know, like wearing masks everywhere. Now it's like popping them under the mascot. It looks like you're chewing on something. But she doing like, you know, the fun stuff.

Scott Benner 5:24
I mean, Arden was younger. And I didn't have quite a grasp on this. This would happen to us and I never get back then I didn't have to and to to even put the I didn't even know what to into was let alone right. I couldn't add them up, you know. But it would be interesting that if she got low in a public place where they sold food, and you grab something off the shelf, she was too low to be okay with. She felt like she was shoplifting the food. Right? I wonder too. If that happens if people's mind start going down weird paths, like I can't eat this. I haven't paid for it. I'll go pay for it first. Like you ain't got time to pay for it. Like explain it to the security guy. Yeah, you know, when he catches you down in the Gatorade, and I'll 16

Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:05
Yes, I mean, those are all my internal monologue. I could care less if you're gonna ask me why I'm eating gummy bears right now. Have at it. I got a whole load of stuff to talk to you about. So don't bug me.

Scott Benner 6:16
I'll pay for it. Calm down. Yeah. But But it happened to her more than a couple times where she's like, I can't eat this. I haven't paid for it. Oh, Arden. That's sweet, honey, you're just gonna eat it. And we're gonna pay for it afterwards. It's fine. You know, I think because if we wait, and now I'm explaining it like now and you have to remember to back then probably no CGM. I just got this little I'm looking at this number on this little freestyle meter, you know, and I'm like, Oh, honey, we'll pay for it later. Eat the food. Eat the food. Eat it, just eat it. Right, right. Because there's that other thing that happens to her too when she if she gets too low. She goes, I don't want juice. And I'm like, But juices the thing that works the best right now liquids, the thing that works the best right now. And then she starts turning into a food connoisseur. She's like I would prefer to have and I was like, yeah, no, not right. Now. If you eat that, you know, you're gonna pass out before you wake up. So can we get to it, please?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:11
Right. That's the point at which she's like, I'd rather have a boiled egg Daddy, you're like, No. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Scott Benner 7:17
She once said to me, can I get avocado toast? And I was like, as soon as we're done fixing this low blood sugar, you can now write avocado says great.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:27
But as a variable. I mean, you're right. And in terms of like, it just takes planning. Like if it's if it's commented on often enough, clearly people know that when they're going to go out whether it's grocery shopping, or Walmart or wherever. You're going for it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 7:44
Well, let me let me ask you a question as a person with type one your whole life basically. What is that mechanism there that makes the idea of Pre-Bolus thing so difficult or setting a Temp Basal to go grocery shopping? Or, you know, like, I mean, I mean, how many people stand up randomly at 1115 and go I'm going grocery shopping right now. Like you don't think you're you at least know you're going grocery shopping today. Right? Like, set a Temp Basal if you get low at the grocery store,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 8:13
right? Or if you don't, if you can't think that far ahead. Again, if it wasn't really a plan, you're driving and you pick up your kids, you're like, Oh, I really needed this at the store. So and then you stop off. Okay, fine, unplanned but at that point, then you know, what's going to happen? Yeah, so take a snack. Right?

Scott Benner 8:34
Like have some sort of like stabilizing snack before you leave or something. Right. Yeah, I actually it's funny you said like that, because what I was thinking was that somebody recently I asked what episodes of the podcast are really helpful and she's like, she said, trust the trust episode. It's called trust what you know is gonna happen it's gonna happen. And that's what I wrote about like, I mean, how many times you have to get low at Walmart before you go. I got to do something about this. I'm going to Walmart can't possibly be Walmart's fault.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:03
Hey, or maybe you plan your Walmart trips around the around the fact that when you're high, I have to go out the door. to Walmart,

Scott Benner 9:11
you see your blood sugar 180 Diagonal up. You know what, it's time to go grocery shopping. That's right. There you go. Hey, what's up everybody? I'm going to explain TrialNet to you in some detail. As I mentioned before, trial net does type one diabetes risk screening at no cost to relatives of people who have type one diabetes. Here's who's eligible, immediate family members under the age of 45. And second degree, family members under the age of 20. I'm going to break that down for you. If you're between two and a half and 45 years old, and you have a parent brothers Sister or child with type one, you are eligible for trial.

If you're two and a half to 20 years old and have an aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, niece, nephew or half brother or sister with type one, you're eligible. If you've tested positive for auto antibodies outside of trial net, you are eligible for trauma. Okay, now that's who's eligible. Now I'm going to tell you how to sign up. You go to trial net.org forward slash juicebox, you'll answer a couple of quick questions, make sure that you're eligible for testing. And then you can join 1000s of t one D families on the pathway to prevention. Here's how you get screened three ways. They're all simple trial that can send you an in home test kit. And this kit will provide you with everything that you need to collect a finger stick blood sample from the safety of your own home, and return it using FedEx contactless pickup, the second way you could do it is to get a lab test kit, then you could take this free screening kit to any Quest Diagnostics lab, or lab core lab for a blood drop. And the third way is if you live near a trial net location, you can go there to have the blood trial done. After that, you just need your results. And they'll take between four to six weeks to get to you. If your results show that you are in the early stages of type one diabetes trial net, we'll schedule a follow up visit to see if you're eligible for a prevention study. You may be asking yourself, why would I want to know if I or a loved one have these antibodies? Well, type one family members are at a 15 times greater risk to develop T one D than the general population. T one D risk training will detect if you are in the early stages of type one diabetes. If you are identified as at risk trauma will be there to help you. They have prevention trials. If your screening results show that you're in the early stages and type one, you may be eligible to join Prevention Study. It's testing the ways to slow or stop the disease progression. There's also ongoing monitoring by top type one diabetes researchers in the world. And if you develop type one, being monitored in a clinical research study like trial that decreases your chances of DKA from 30% down to three. So there you go. All of that absolutely free to you. A future without type one starts with you. Research can only advance with participants, the more participants who are involved in clinical research, the faster we'll get our answers. So you're in a unique position to identify treatments that will slow or stop type one from happening for you or a loved one and helping clinical research that could help everybody. In the last 20 years trauma has been the leading network and type one diabetes prevention research. In addition to being able to accurately predict who is going to develop type one trial that has now found a way to delay it by leading it to Ms. apoB prevention trial to miss aplomb is the first drug to delay type one diabetes for a median of two years. Trial net.org forward slash juicebox when they ask you where you heard about them, say the Juicebox Podcast and when you get your kit, you have to complete it and send it back in order for the podcast to get credit for you. Trial net.org forward slash juicebox Alright guys, so like I said there's a couple of more variables episodes coming up. But they began back on episode 491 With trampolines after that there was temperature, travel, exercise hydration, food quality, leaky sites or tunneling video games stress masturbation school, bad sites, growth hormones, sleep pump site placement, a full moon weight change this one today, Walmart and there's a couple more coming before this series wraps up for 2021 I hope you've enjoyed it. Go back and check out the ones that you might have missed. They're all available at Juicebox Podcast comm we're right there in your podcast player. I'm putting this one out specifically on Black Friday in case you're out there in the thick of it trying to get yourself a cheap TV or something like that. Just wanted to have this one for that. There's also a diabetes pro tip episode of episode 231 all about variables. If you don't know what the diabetes pro tips are, you should check them out at juicebox podcast.com or diabetes pro tip.com A pro tip series begins at episode 210. Hey, thanks so much for everything. You guys are absolutely terrific the way you listen download, subscribe, share the show with other people. The support is amazing. To be very clear with you the week of Thanksgiving is normally one of the slowest downloaded weeks, all year and yet this year, I didn't even notice a slowdown. I was really touched Honestly, I know there are a lot of things you do with your time. You're busy. You could be doing anything and listening to anything. And the fact that there was no downturn this week. I mean, it really blew my mind. I really appreciate it. Seriously, this is the end of the seventh season of this podcast. And to think that it's on the uptick is, it's just mind bending to me. I really love you guys. I appreciate your support. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Happy Thanksgiving. To those of you who celebrate. And to the rest of you. I hope you enjoy your Thursday. Oh, that reminds me, the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes right now it's really late on Thanksgiving night. While I'm doing this. Don't ask why I didn't do this sooner. I messed up. It's just full of people celebrating and sharing their graphs about how they handled Thanksgiving. Some people had some tough times. If you want to see great examples of how people Bolus for a big day full of food. You should check it out. Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. It's a private Facebook group with now I think over 17,000 members. It's absolutely an amazing place to either watch other people talk about type one management and living with type one, where to get involved yourself and have one of those conversations that you need to have

#583 Almond Joy Has Nuts

Bonnie is the mother of an 11 year old type 1 daughter.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 583 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I'll be speaking with a parent of a young child that has type one diabetes, and her name is Bonnie, you're going to like Bonnie, why do I say that? Because I liked Bonnie, and you like the podcast. So, I mean, it stands to reason. The podcast is just a reflection of my sensibility. And if you enjoy it, and I enjoyed that, you understand that. Please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Were becoming bold with insulin. Have you been staring at that a one C and that variability and thinking I gotta do something, but I don't know what to do? Well, if you have, I would try the diabetes pro tip episodes from the Juicebox Podcast. They begin at episode 220. And they can be found your podcast player. If you're looking for a concurrent list of them, head over to diabetes pro tip.com to check them out. They are always free just like the entire podcast is you don't have to follow it like a class you can do it at your own time. I think things might just go your way if you check it out. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one, please check them out at touched by type one.org or on their Instagram and Facebook pages. The podcast is also sponsored by just a really long pause. That pause. That was me trying to decide if I would put a G voc ad here or trial that's out here. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox. I guess you figured out I decided to use G voc. That's pretty much it. Actually. There's nothing left on the ad front just to thank the sponsors links in the podcast player. Links at juicebox podcast.com. All that stuff. Check them out support sponsor support the show you know the deal. Let's get started, shall we?

Bonnie 2:32
Hi, my name is Bonnie and I have three children. I have a son who's 17, a daughter who's 15. And a daughter who is 11. And Abby, my 11 year old is also my type one diabetic.

Scott Benner 2:47
When was Abby diagnosed?

Bonnie 2:50
She was diagnosed two weeks shy of her ninth birthday. So we've been at this for about two and a half years.

Scott Benner 3:01
Is there any other type one in the family?

Bonnie 3:05
Not really. I mean, I think my husband has a cousin who was type one but they were never really close. So I don't know. For sure all that much about it. We have type two in the family but but really no type ones and no other autoimmune diseases that I'm aware of

Scott Benner 3:29
body You crack me up. So you don't So of the people who you're really familiar with in your family, no one has type one. Yes. There is type one in your husband's. Yes. Gotcha. That was great. I love the line you drew there you're like, well, not really because we don't know him. Right, right. Right. Okay, so there's there's a little bit but not a ton. No other stuff. You're saying no, thyroid celiac. Thanks. Okay. So fair to say a pretty big surprise.

Bonnie 3:59
Yes.

Scott Benner 4:00
Okay. What was what was your first indication?

Bonnie 4:06
I mean, I think it was a pretty, you know, common thing, we we started noticing that she was drinking a lot and needing to go to the bathroom a lot. And she was eating a lot. She's a she was a tiny, tiny little thing. And, you know, all of my children were, you know, really, they're small and skinny. So it was, you know, we're like, Oh, great. We have an eater now. You know, she was eating a ton, but she was still really, really skinny. But I think it was definitely you know, the, the drinking and the peeing and I feel like you know, like most people, you know, you try to rationalize that one out and you're like, oh, you know, she's, she's a girl and maybe she is you know, peeing a lot because, you know, maybe there's a urinary tract infection or, you know, you do lots of things in your mind to try to rationalize that one. I

Scott Benner 5:00
hear. So how long did the excitement about? We're no longer gonna be throwing away leftovers last until you gave in?

Bonnie 5:13
I mean, that's the thing, I don't really know how far back that that that behavior was, was going on. I do remember that, as it got, as we got closer to you know, getting her diagnosed. I mean, I guess it was in the back of my mind for a while, and I would, you know, mention it to my husband, and we're like, Ah, it's probably nothing. And then maybe like a week before we were, we were at an event with with friends. And she came over to me, and she gave me a kiss. And she said, I have to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, Okay, go to the bathroom. That's okay. And my friend said to me, she's like, why is she? Why is she doing that? I was like, I think she feels like, bad that she's always having to go to the bathroom. And I was and I said to her, I was like, you know, I think I'm a little worried. I was like, Maybe I should take her and, and then maybe a couple days later, my husband and I were really starting to get concerned. And the night before. We took her into the doctor, my husband, he, he's a doctor, and he's a dentist. I don't know why that would make him know this. But like, I guess he knew about ketones. And so we actually made her pee in a cup. And then he smelled it. And he's like, Oh, God. And he's like, this doesn't smell right. And I didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't know what ketones were. And he said, he said, he's like, I'm really worried. Now. He's like, do you think we should take her to like, urgent care? It was probably like nine o'clock at night. And I was like, You know what?

Scott Benner 7:00
You're the one smelling the pee, man. Tell me.

Bonnie 7:02
Right, right. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, and, and I tend to he, you know, even though he's a doctor, and he's, like, you know, more aware of like, certain things than I am like, when the kids are sick, or, you know, I'm the calm one. I'm like, No, let's be rational, let's not, you know, fly off the handle, you know? Like he was he was really nervous, which made me nervous. And so we ended up not taking her to an urgent care because Abby is a really, really, easygoing kid always has been, but her one vise is like, she does not like the doctor. And she freaked out every time I had to take her for anything. And she just so we didn't want to scare her by like, dragging her to like an urgent care at like nine o'clock at night or something. So I was like, You know what, I'm going to call the doctor. And I'm going to, for you know, first thing in the morning, I'm going to get her an appointment, and we're going to go check this out. So that's what we did. You know, I don't think my husband or I slept that night. Um, but first thing in the morning like, this is the other thing. She's also very, she doesn't complain about anything. If something's bothering her, like, you have to guess that because she is not one to complain. She's not one to not be happy. She's just that kind of kid. So that morning, my husband walked into her room while she was getting ready for school and he said that he saw her just sitting on the ground, brushing her hair, but it was almost like she was in like slow motion or something like she could barely like hold the brush or get it through her hair. She was kind of like in a daze like a

Scott Benner 8:57
horror movie. I'm sorry. Like a horror movie. Yeah,

Bonnie 9:01
yeah, it was Yeah. And again, that freaked us out so I

Scott Benner 9:07
juice did you switch to hey, maybe Abby's possessed.

Bonnie 9:11
Yeah, I mean, honestly, like if she were a different kind of kid, and maybe about like, we were like, it was it was you know, it was very scary. And so now that I'm saying and it sounds, you know, strange, but I took her to school because the doctor's office didn't open that early. And I got home and as soon as I got home, I called for an appointment. And they said that they could get her in at like, I don't know, like 930 or something. So I literally dropped her off at school. And then I called the school I was like, Look, I'm going to pick her up. I want to, you know, I want to take her to get checked. I think maybe she has a urinary tract infection. Now, I didn't really think that I was hoping that but I you know, that's what I told them. So I picked her up. And she was kind of like, Why are you picking me up? I was like, You know what, let's go take let's go to the doctor. Let's get let's just get this checked. You know, like, I want to make sure you know People one of the bathroom a lot, let's just say, I didn't want to freak her out or anything. So we get there. And, you know, they, it wasn't our normal doctor, I'd never met this doctor in the practice before. But you know, they had her piano cop and he comes in and he didn't say it right away. He. He said, You know, he was asking me had she been sick before? I forget maybe a few other questions. And then he said, Well, the good news is, you know, she doesn't have a urinary tract infection, said the bad news. Is there sugar in her urine? And, you know, right, then I kind of knew. And I think that they did a finger, a finger stick. And she must have been too high because it didn't register on their meter.

Scott Benner 10:47
Well, I have to let me jump in for a second. There's this one, kind of through line to the story you're telling that keeps popping in my head. And it's the first time I've thought about saying it this way. There's such an interesting vibe about people who have never really been through a medical issue before. And you just explained it perfectly. You know, and we always talk about it, like, oh, I wrote it off for you know, I was hoping it was this, like, when you've never lived with a medical thing, like that's your reaction. And it's pretty reasonable, because most things end up not being anything. And, and then you have something like type one in your life. And now moving forward. Every time someone looks weird, you're like, Yeah, figure out what that is right now. Right, right. You don't even like but it's how like, we found like, like thyroid issues with my kids so quickly, because you're just right away, like, did you notice that his temper didn't seem right there. You know, and you don't jump to like, he might be having a bad day. You're like, let's have his thyroid tested. Right? Yeah.

Bonnie 11:56
Right. It totally changes your outlook. But I mean, before that, you're right. Like, my husband always has a saying, especially like, I've heard him like talk to patients. He'd be like, you know, they'd be like, could it be this? Could it be that? Could it be that and he would always be like, don't look for the zebra, it's probably a horse, you know, like, and, and it makes total sense. And that's, you know, I tend to be the calm one, you know, in those situations, and I'm like, It's probably nothing, it's probably but you know, you're right. It's like after this, you know, you have a different outlook on things. Yeah,

Scott Benner 12:28
once in a while, you're like, you know, there's probably going to be another zebra, like, I'm gonna find it for now. Until we get to the point where we're Abby slow motion walking around her school when I pick her up? Just I don't know, for some reason, would you describe your brushing her hair? I imagine when you got to the school, you look down the hallway, and she was just like, in slow motion coming towards you.

Bonnie 12:50
I mean, yeah, I mean, it was it was crazy. And you know, you feel guilt. As a parent, you're like, how long was this going on? How did I not see it? You know, but he but I just explained to be a common thread.

Scott Benner 13:02
And we just explained how you didn't see it. Because prior to that, people would get sick, and they'd get better and you didn't have to do much about it. You only gave people medication if they were in pain or couldn't breathe, right? I mean, for three kids. That was how you did it. I imagine. It's how everyone does exactly. Well, it seems like it seems like you did a great. What was the time span of that? Do you believe from when you first started thinking? I don't know. Maybe she's got a yeast infection, too. I gotta take her to the doctor. Like what? What was that space?

Bonnie 13:35
I'm probably like, a week, but a week or so. But but probably for a few weeks before that. I was noticing her drinking a lot and peeing a lot. But kept it in the back of my head. Did they? I don't even know how I knew the symptoms of type one day. I really don't. I guess I must have learned that at some point or, but I really don't even know how I knew to associate that. Yeah, because I didn't Google. I didn't Google that.

Scott Benner 14:11
You're like, I am not checking on this. This seems.

Bonnie 14:13
Really I was I was like, almost like in denial. I was like, Nope. You know, because like when you do that, it makes it real.

Scott Benner 14:20
What about when the water bill came and it was so much higher from the flushing water bill went up 23% this month? That's very, that's insane. No, I hear you. I hear that. I don't want anything to be wrong. Especially one now that you know, to you're just sort of like you swallow hard and you're like, hey, look, I need you to go to the doctor. We're going to get this tested. Because I'm worried about this. And it's like, it feels like saying it out loud. Makes it real. But of course, that's silly. It just it just, it just makes it present.

Bonnie 14:53
Exactly. I mean, I didn't even tell the doctor that I would when I made the appointment. I didn't even say that I was worried about her being diabetic. I said, you know, maybe she has a urinary tract infection. Can we check that?

Scott Benner 15:03
Yeah. So I get that. I also want to say that, that's, that's a good idea generally, like, if you have a, if you have a very good feeling about what something might be, you don't want to lead the doctor to it. Right? You want to let them find it. In case you're wrong, you don't want to you don't want them to miss something that they would look for, because you're already pre determining something. But you know, having said that, if you get to the end of the, the appointment, they're like, No, everything's fine. That's when you go, you're sure she doesn't have diabetes, because, right? Because I made the trip and everything, and she can't comb her hair anymore. So let's take a look. Right. And and what was her reaction? I mean, she couldn't run away, I guess, because she was too tired.

Bonnie 15:43
So, right. I mean, she was so the doctor was very nice. And he and this was another thing that I guess I was so ignorant about. I didn't understand what it meant that, you know, he's telling me that she has diabetes, because his you know, he said, Okay, so what you're going to do now is I want you to take her down, we don't live very far outside of the city. So he said, I want you to take her down to Columbia children's emergency room. And I was like, whoa, what do you mean, I was like, why are you sending me down to the city? You know, they're hot. Why can I take her to the hospital here? First of all, why do I take her to the hospital? Second of all, like, why can I take her up here? Why do you and he's like, Well, they're the best there. And I said, Okay, I was like, but you're sending me to a city, children's emergency room, like, I'm gonna sit with her like an emergency room and wait for them to take her. And this still haunts me what he said next, he said, he said, You're going to go down there, and you're not going to wait, because she's going to be one of the sickest kids there. And I said, I don't even understand what that means. Like, what do you mean? Because, yes, I was looking at my child who, you know, was definitely, you know, skinny. And she was, I guess, seemingly tired. And but but it she didn't seem like a sick kids. Me, I didn't see it that way. So when he said that, to me, that kind of like rocked my

Scott Benner 17:20
world a little. Because he's like, he's basically telling you look at the ones that are dying going first, Bonnie, that that's Don't worry about

Bonnie 17:28
right. And I didn't see that in her. I didn't look at her and see that that then. So. So, you know, we did what he said, We, my husband met me at home, we packed up a few things. And we went down. And as I said, it's not very far. And again, they they took her right away. And they we went we were in the emergency room for a while. And I you know, it all started. And this is a kid who I said, you know, is such an easy child. And the one thing she's afraid of is like doctors and shots, you know, the irony, just still, it's laughable. But um, she, you know, they had to put IVs in her and I can't tell you how amazing they were at the hospital. They put those those VR goggles on her. And they had like a child life. Is that what they're called Child Life specialists, or I don't know, they have people at the hospital, I guess, like, in especially in a children's hospital. They come and you know, I guess they help, you know, the doctors, like get done with the done. And so they came and they were like they did you know, they weren't like rushing her. They put these VR goggles on her and they were letting her play this game. And they put this numbing stuff on her arms, you know, before they put the IVs in and like they just made it really as easy as as it could have been. So we were really, really lucky there. And, and they told us that they would move her to the PICU. But they didn't have a place for her yet. So they were going to do everything that they were going to do in the PICU in the emergency room.

Scott Benner 19:20
And she just sort of I mean, was she in decay? She was? Yeah,

Bonnie 19:24
she was I think when they got to the when we got to the hospital, her blood sugar was over 600

Scott Benner 19:30
Oh, it's so interesting how in your mind, it feels like this long journey. And then when I asked you how long it was you thought, well, maybe a week or a couple weeks. But it sounds like when you tell the story. It sounds like you smelled her urine in October and in March.

Bonnie 19:45
You know?

Scott Benner 19:46
I don't mean like yeah, I don't know. I don't mean you told the story of it not well. I mean that it just it's interesting how when something like this happens with hindsight, it gets broken down into these gems. Just very tiny pieces that everything feels so stretched out and, and an important when you look back. Yes, it's really Yeah, it's really something actually. Well, yes. Okay, so obviously she's alright because you're here talking about it. And they sent her now, I have to say this the the tone of your email to me about being on the podcast was just that in general you felt very lucky how everything has happened for your daughter with diabetes. And and so I mean not a lot of people say that but I guess it starts with a really great hospital where they do you know do things well for her I mean, honestly VR goggles to distract a kid. I didn't know that existed.

Bonnie 20:49
I yeah, I had no idea. And it really it really did. You know, obviously she couldn't see what was coming. So that was a plus. And she was distracted. I guess she was playing some game. I don't even know how VR goggles work. But I guess she's playing some game in there. I have a I have a great picture of her like sitting on this hospital bed with like, they put a you know, one of those surgical caps on her and then VR goggles and like, you know, she looks ridiculous, but she was okay. Yeah, you know, she she didn't, you know, freak out like she could have.

Scott Benner 21:23
So once they explained to you that she didn't have lucky charms in her urine, but she had babies I love that these like there's sugar in here to a person who has no idea about diabetes, you would just be like, Okay, is there not sugar in our pay? Like I didn't know that? Like, how would I know that? You know? What kind of direction did you get after she was stabilized? And did they go right to like, how did they teach you about diabetes there?

Bonnie 21:51
So I guess we were really lucky because I I've heard you know people can spend days in in the hospital and she was really only there. We went into the hospital like Thursday morning. And we were home by Friday evening. Wow. So okay, yeah, no it Yeah. What hospital it was Columbia

Scott Benner 22:15
children's. If you're around there and you get diabetes, that's the place to go hey, I'm gonna play the ads. Now. I'd appreciate it if you listened to them. G voc hypo pan has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is G voc hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about. All you have to do is go to G voc glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox. G voc shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit G Vogue glucagon.com/risk.

Alright, I'm almost done. I just want to thank everyone who has supported me at buy me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast. There are almost 300 followers for the page 35 members, and just a bunch of lovely people leaving messages of thanks and support. And a couple of dollars for me to buy a coffee with which I don't do I usually buy hard drives and stuff like that for the podcast with the money, pay my bills, stuff like that. But I'm just going to read you one here's the latest one started listening two and a half years ago, shortly after my daughter was diagnosed. Initially listen for the incredibly helpful information and comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone. I'll explain what that was in a second and comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone still listened to most of the episodes because it helps me to keep ideas fresh in my mind, and for the sense of community. I also like the pieces of life perspective that are mixed in such as enjoying the chance to hold my daughter's hand in the middle of the night during fingerstick. And learning recently that my husband isn't the only male who prefers not to shave his face every day. She thought he was just being lazy. And then she found out I don't like it either. Anyway, find me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast, just a ton of kindness there for me and I wanted to take a second to say appreciate it. And that little cash register that you just heard that was indelicate I didn't like that. But somebody just bought a sweatshirt from Juicebox Podcast calm. And my app tells me when that happens. Actually a few people have done it today. Must be because I lowered the price. Anyway. That's kind of an ad for me, isn't it? I'll take it. I don't have to pay for it. I still get it perks of being the boss. Let's get back to Bonnie now shall we?

Bonnie 25:02
Yeah, honestly, like, I could not recommend it more. Um, so she actually never ended up going to the PICU. Because I, I don't even know what they, I don't even know, like what their criteria were, but I guess she, they were managed to, like stabilize her enough that probably by one in the morning, they moved us to a room and not the PICU. So we she was in a room there. And then the next morning they came and they began our education. And I guess they figured we we had enough education, and she was stable enough that we could bring her home Friday evening, you said

Scott Benner 25:51
your husband, being a dentist had anything to do with it? As much as I think that's silly. I'm asking.

Bonnie 25:56
I mean, truthfully, like they, they went through everything with us, and they didn't let us leave, obviously, until, like, we both could, you know, we practice getting shots in, you know, that cushion thing. And then we both stuck our own fingers. And we both had to, you know, do a finger stick on Abby. And, you know, we were really intent, we didn't want to stay in the hospital, we didn't want her to have to stay in the hospital. So we were really intent on like, learning everything that we had to learn as well and as quickly as possible, so that we could take her home. Just because, you know, we wanted, you know, everybody's more comfortable. Nobody wants to be in the hospital. And so I guess we did a good job. And they were also really, really good. And I don't know how it works in, you know, with with most situations. But the the practice that we see is affiliated with the hospital, they're literally right across the street, and they were the ones who came to the hospital. So it's not like I had to find an endocrinologist like this. These were our endocrinologist. And they were amazing from the outset. And they sent us home with pens, and obviously finger sticks. But again, I don't know how my husband knew about this, probably because he sees patients and he's, you know, he sees, I guess he's seen people who have these things, but he knew about continuous glucose monitors. And so before we left the hospital, he was like, I want one and we couldn't get the Dexcom right away. But we left the hospital and she was wearing a libre.

Scott Benner 27:39
He didn't want to smell pee anymore. That's what it was it

Bonnie 27:43
a navy. It's not like ketone film. Yeah, whatever

Scott Benner 27:46
keeps that from happening to me again, let's let's get one of those. So she she rolls out the door with a Libra and some needles. And some pen pens. Excuse me. That's amazing. Really cool.

Bonnie 28:00
No, yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it was great. And then literally a week later, I had a Dexcom on her.

Scott Benner 28:07
Okay, what made you switch? It was just the continuous nature of it.

Bonnie 28:12
Yes. I mean, I, you know, in the short time, we were at the hospital, we were, you know, Googling and looking up stuff. And, you know, Dexcom popped up pretty quickly. And he's like, you know, we want this and it was actually a really funny story. Because, you know, every, obviously everything happens at once. So she was diagnosed, it was December 13. It was two weeks shy of her birthday. She was born on December 30. And then, a week after she was diagnosed, we were set to leave for like, for a vacation. And in the hospital. Like, we, you know, we kept saying to the doctors were like, We shouldn't go away, right? We shouldn't go away. Right? And like, wink, wink, you know, like, please say that, you know, in front of my child, like, we shouldn't go away on this vacation. They're like, No, no, no, they're like, you can totally go it's totally fine. You're gonna be fine. Bring your insulin. You know, bring all your stuff. She's gonna run a little high. It's okay. But yeah, go away. And we're like, Oh, crap.

Scott Benner 29:23
They didn't get the idea that you were scared out of your mind and didn't want to go on vacation. Exactly. Let's try this again. I'm gonna say we can't go on vacation. Right and then you're gonna say yes, that would be a bad idea. Do not go on. Well, listen, it's it's, I mean, they pushed you out of your comfort zone pretty quickly, that's for sure. But I

Bonnie 29:44
was, I'm sorry. We might your phone fell out. So it really was the best possible thing. Did I enjoy that trip? No. But we went and we did it. We didn't kill her. And we learned a lot. And like, literally, we we were leaving early Friday morning. And we were flying too. It wasn't like we were driving or anything. So we had to figure that all out. And literally Thursday night, I slapped the Dexcom on her. Okay, so I and I didn't know anything about it. I, I have to say, I mean, I know, I love Dexcom. And I'm so thankful for it every single day. I know some people have issues with it, or problems, or they say about their customer service. Well, the way I put a Dexcom on her was I called the number and one of the options is like, Are you a first time user? So I clicked, you know, whatever that option was. And I had some woman who literally talked me through the entire process for like, probably like a good hour and a half from like, setting it up to downloading the app to physically putting it on her. Like, I had this woman on speakerphone. I'm like, Okay, now, where do I put it? And she's like, and she was amazing. So I was very happy about that.

Scott Benner 31:09
Yeah, well, that's really, that's, that's what made you I guess what, what made you so vigorous in your, in your pursuit of this stuff so quickly? Like, it sounds like you knew more than you should have at that time? Like, where do you get that information from?

Bonnie 31:27
Honestly, I didn't, I really think my husband was the one who drove that. He was like, you know, I think we're, you know, sitting in the hospital room that night. And, you know, we're not sleeping. And I think, you know, we're on our phones. And he was like, he knew about continuous glucose monitors. So I guess it didn't take him long to figure out, you know, which one. And already, we're like, you know, what, we knew that insulin pumps existed, we just, you know, needed to research about which one? And I think her insulin pump came about four or five months later.

Scott Benner 32:04
Was she on board with that idea? Yes, yeah. Yeah, enjoy the shots.

Bonnie 32:08
No, no, she didn't. She got okay with it. Um, it was hard in the beginning. But, again, she's a very easy child. So, you know, and we're not opposed to bribery. You know, like, you know, do this, and, you know, we can do this or you will get you. Or,

Scott Benner 32:30
it is easy mean, I don't mean to dip in your living room

Bonnie 32:35
like she wants. She's very, she's eager to please. Um, and she's very go with the flow in terms of her personality.

Scott Benner 32:47
But do you think there's something she didn't want to do to make you happy?

Bonnie 32:52
Um, she, I think she saw that, like, you know, wearing the Dexcom meant that we didn't have to prick her finger all the time. So that was what she saw. That was something she wanted, right? And wearing an insulin pump. Yeah, she doesn't like it when we have to change it. But it also means she doesn't have to take shots. So I think she's smart enough to realize all

Scott Benner 33:15
that. Yeah. And I didn't mean that. Like, are you sure you're not a you know what I mean, manipulate? I just meant, like, is it in her nature to say yes to something if she didn't want to? Or would she have the hutzpah to step up? If she had to and say, hey, look, I see that this seems like a good idea to you. But here are my reservations. Like, does she ever? Like Does she ever chime in? Well, she

Bonnie 33:38
as it as a child, it was always funny because she was not. As a young child, she was not a very, like, adventurous child. So like, if there were kids who were like, going down, like a big slide, you know, she would have no qualms about being like, Nope, I'm not doing that. And, you know, and that was fine. You know, like, but I think like, I've heard you say, before, we're also the type of parents where, you know, we'll let them have certain decisions and certain decisions are not going to be totally up to them. You know, we knew that this was probably a better way to handle it. So we would do what we had to do to make her okay with it. But ultimately, you know, I we knew it was better for her.

Scott Benner 34:28
No, I think that's perfect. I'm, I'm on board with what you did. I was just wanted you to explain it because other people are listening. And I can't just tell them everything all the time. Bonnie talk we have to get this point out this point has to come out that that point very simply is that you don't make let nine year olds make, like medical decisions.

Bonnie 34:50
Right, right. Right. I know this is better for you. I know. It sucks. We're gonna do whatever we have to do to make it okay for you. But this is what it's gonna

Scott Benner 34:59
feel are our options. These are the best of them. We're gonna try these and see what happens. Right?

Bonnie 35:05
And I did you know, when I put the Dexcom on her for the first time, she was scared, you know, and I was too I didn't know how it would feel for her. I didn't know if it was gonna hurt. I didn't know if it was gonna be, you know, uncomfortable wearing it. I said, and I said to her, I was like, Look, I was like, we're gonna try this. If it doesn't work, we'll figure something else out. Yeah. But I was like, but I want you to try this. And that's that's really actually how I broach things with her

Scott Benner 35:32
pardons first Dexcom was put on in a doctor's office. That's how long ago Arden got on Dexcom. If you wanted to wear it, you had to go there to have the first one put on. Oh, we had to go into the city, you know, because you had to go to the main building, where like the lady who really knew what she was doing was, and we got there and she didn't do a good job putting it on her. And I drove, you know, an hour home. And she's got How old was Arden then? not that old? I'm guessing around. How about that? I have no recollection of exactly how five maybe is right in that range, one way or the other. And we got home and my wife was there. And she showed it to my wife and everything. And then finally Arden's like, this thing really hurts. And then you're like, Okay, does it hurt? Does she think it hurts? Because she's, like, aware of it? How long do we let that go? And so my wife and I quickly huddled up, I'm like, Alright, what do we do? Here? We go, she really seems like she's in pain. And I was like, I know. But maybe she's just not accustomed to it. Or maybe she's, you know, being her age or something. And we just set a certain amount of time. And I said, Alright, listen, if it still hurts in an hour, I'll change it for you. But we're gonna put another one right back on. Like, I did not want her to feel like all I have to do is say this thing's uncomfortable. And then I don't have to wear it anymore. And I don't know if that's what she was doing or not. But I didn't want the possibility that that's what what she was right. Right. So okay, wait a little longer. She said it really hurt. I went online and research that a little more. And came to the conclusion that I did not see the woman pinch up at all, when she pulled along. She just slapped it on her and like push the button basically. So I put a new one on, I just visually did what made sense to me. I figured like, Okay, well, the sensor comes out this way about this angle. So there needs to be a lot of like, flesh right there. And I put it back on and she was not bothered by the second one. Now, I don't know if I did it a different job. Or if it just was more comfortable to her because I did it. And not that who knows. Right? But right. That's how we handle it. But that my biggest fear in that moment. I guess I should say my biggest fear that Arden was in pain, but that would be a lie. My biggest fear was that she was going to see giving up as an option. Right there.

Bonnie 38:00
Right. Right. And you know, you wanted this for

Scott Benner 38:03
well, you know what to and in hindsight, forget wanted it. I mean, Arden's health is not anywhere near where it is. Now, our understanding of diabetes would not be anywhere near where it is. Now, if we didn't do that that day. Right. So, right, I just had to be that's all.

Bonnie 38:20
I agree with you certain things to have to be and we have to do what we can to make it okay.

Scott Benner 38:26
It would be like if someone said, Listen, you have to have oxygen to walk around all day. And you're like, I don't want to do that. Right, right, right. No, of course you don't, because no one would want to do that. And nobody wants to wear a continuous glucose monitor. That is not a thing that people get up in the morning. Like, I'm super excited, you know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna work glucose monitor. It's just you have diabetes now. So your rules change. And right now there are different things that you need to do. And right, there are ways to do it with glee and a light heartedness. And they're wasted where you fight tooth and nail the whole way. And I even wonder sometimes when people complain online about companies, if some of it's just not that they're just pissed that they have to do it at all. And then it doesn't go perfectly. So like this place sucks, you know, because you can't say diabetes sucks, because then that kind of gets attached to you. You know, because that feels, feels like it's part of you. So now you're complaining about yourself. So we'll pick an outside thing that's tangentially attached to diabetes. And I bet that thing's horrible. Not to say the companies don't mess stuff up. You know, and sometimes customer service lacks in places and sometimes it's amazing and blah, blah, blah. But I just do wonder what people are mad at when they're mad because you have this thing that showing you your blood sugar, direction and speed constantly. And 20 years ago, people were boiling, you know, their urine defeat, right? Like, hey, nothing's perfect, but this seems way better than the other thing. You know,

Bonnie 39:59
I totally Yeah.

Scott Benner 40:01
So how is she now present day? Like, what's it like for her to have diabetes right now?

Bonnie 40:08
So, um, she's always had a really good attitude. And we have tried so hard to how should I say it? Like, we we keep it really, really light. We, we, she has, she and my husband share the same kind of dark sense of humor. So, you know, they're constantly joking about, you know, you know, if she's low, we're not like freaking out, you know, we're, you know, we're making a joke out of it, you know, she'll, she'll come up to us and be like, I feel low. And my husband will be like, well, is your tongue hanging out yet? You know? Because what it is, you know, you let me know, I'll give you some shoot now. So, and she thinks that's funny. And I think like, the lighter we keep it. The, you know, the easier it is for her, you know, she doesn't. She's not one that looks at herself, like, oh, I have this, like, there was this assignment that she had to write in English class. It was, I guess they had read something. And they had to like, write a poem that was similar to her to it. It was like my birthday wishes or something. And I think a lot of it was like, I wish you know, this wasn't there. And I wish that wasn't there. And I read hers and hers was she, she definitely talked about, you know, COVID And like, I wish you know, I could be in school more. I wish I could see my friends more. I wish you know, this, you know, this disease didn't exist. And I wish I didn't have homework, you know, all like normal kids stuff. And not once did she mentioned diabetes,

Scott Benner 41:51
right? I would have I wish they didn't give Sebastian Stan so many lines in Falcon in the Winter Soldier because

Bonnie 41:57
oh my god, he watched that I watched it was not

Scott Benner 42:00
a great actor. I think he was perfect in the movies, where they just grunted a couple of times and starts emoting. And I'm like, I don't know.

Bonnie 42:11
I wish mon division was longer.

Scott Benner 42:15
Sorry. No, I get I take your point. Like, it's, she doesn't see diabetes right away.

Bonnie 42:20
Yeah, she doesn't see she doesn't see herself like that. And I think like, of anything, you know, we could achieve with this, that that would be what I want, that I don't want her to feel to feel different. I don't want her to, and I don't think she does. So she is fine with it. She and when I when I wrote to you, and I said, you know all like I'm grateful. I'm generally not that person, I tend to be like a pessimistic person. But like in this, like I saw right away, like, I felt lucky that she was the age she was like, I couldn't imagine a you know, a baby, or some but or teenager, a full on teenager, you know, I saw the challenges immediately with that, like, she was definitely young enough. But old enough when she was diagnosed, and we had great support, and we had, you know, she was the type of kid that she was. And I saw that and you know, I she's doing fine. She we obviously, you know, take most of the control with it. But this is the first year that she is texting diabetes with me in school. It kind of helped that. That, you know, she was only going like two days a week for most of the year. So the other days she was home, but even like when we were at home, I can, you know, tell her to Bolus and she knows how to do that. And even like, you know, the nuances of it, like sometimes like, like, if you're below I think if you're below 70. Like the the Omnipod won't let you Bolus.

Scott Benner 44:10
Alright, it's just there you have it set that way. Yeah, I

Bonnie 44:13
must be like, yeah, it won't let you Bolus it'll say or it won't let you use the calculator. I'm sorry. It'll let you Bolus it won't use the calculator. The Bolus calculator. So we figured that out. And now like, she knows that trick, and I think like my husband was going to Bolus her one time and she's like, Daddy, Daddy, don't put 68 you have to put 70 because then it won't let you know. And so she knows that. Does she know how to make like, all the nuances of it like, oh, you know, you're going to eat soon. So you know, you're running low. So I'm not going to Bolus yet like No, she's not making those kinds of decisions. But if I tell her to do something, she can do everything from like, increasing her Basal to extending a Bolus, like if I just tell her how to do it, she'll do it.

Scott Benner 44:59
Right. That's cool. Okay, I think you can lower that number in the PDM, by the way, yeah, yeah. Take a look. Because I had ours. It was possible. I did not want anything telling me I couldn't Bolus so right. Yeah, but take a look, if that bothers you, I think you can change it. Not. But I also take your point about the timing, because not so small, but not old enough where she feels real cemented into, like, This is who I am. And you're interfering with this, like that right thing. And you have a couple of years here to figure out diabetes before the period start, which is nice. Because it is going to get like it's possible, it's going to get more difficult. You know,

Bonnie 45:39
I think it already is like, she does not have her period yet. But I mean, she's growing. She, she eats a ton. And, you know, there are some things like I just don't understand why they happen. And, you know, I'm kind of chalking it up to like, okay, she's growing, or it's hormones, or I don't know what the hell's happening. But it's happening.

Scott Benner 46:03
Yeah, well just stay flexible. Like, I really think that's the fourth wall of of what I talked about, I think it's, you know, Basal Pre-Bolus glycemic load index, and then flexibility after that, because you have to take what you understand and apply it to the situations and the situations are going to continue to morph and move and things like that. And you can't be frozen in that spot where you're like, I don't understand, like these settings work yesterday, like you, you just can't do that you have to be able to say I don't care why, but it appears like more insulin is necessary today than it was yesterday. And that's what I'm gonna do. And I like dark humor part I Arden started working out after classes again. And I'm having trouble beating it into her head to set a Temp Basal prior to working out. So she's doing this exact same workout that is taking her right to 5500 blood sugar every time like it just it's like magic. I said are in luck. Let's just let the you know. And she's, she's not ignoring me. But I think she's feeling something out. And I'm just letting her do it. So she can have the experience if she's like working out coming upstairs needing some sort of like, bar, I don't know. And, and I'm like, You got to eat the bar sooner because it takes longer to digest. It's not hitting the low. And she's like, just kind of like, I'm letting the whole thing happen, let it play out. But she got into the shower the other day after she worked out. And like she wasn't going to make it. So I'm looking at her CGM. And I'm like, it's not gonna work. Like she's not getting out of the shower without intervention of some kind. So I walked by the doors locked, I knocked and she was what, they're gonna die in there. And she goes, I'm okay. And I was like, I appreciate that you feel that way. But you're wrong. And I'm going to bring something into you, you know. So we have, we have this little locks. I don't know if people like get we let our kids lock their doors like because, you know, that seems important to give them autonomy. But you can also unlock the door from the other side. So I just like pop the lock. I'm like, I'm coming in and I my hand just goes over the bar with a juice and then she gave it back and said, Alright, enjoy your shower. You know, I kept going, but she would have wrote it out. Because she's trying to prove something to herself.

Bonnie 48:12
I think right now.

Scott Benner 48:13
So the teenager Yeah. Like I just worked out and took a shower. Like, leave me alone. I have like a whole plan for today. And it involves watching something apparently called Big mouth on Netflix now, which I haven't watched yet. So some I think it's a dirty cartoon. Uh huh. But anyway, yeah, I like it. I like the whole vibe. I like the way you're going after it. I hope it keeps moving that way. A lot of it's got to do with your attitude. Right, which you can't say enough about that. The it's interesting that you said you're pessimistic generally, I think this part of the country like complaining is a sport. I love to complain. I don't even know how to explain to you how much I enjoy complain.

Bonnie 49:00
I mean, yeah, we say that all the time. I think you know, you know, because, you know, we're getting older and we'll be like, Oh, I'm tired. And then we'll like, you know, no, I'm really not. It's just a filler line kind of thing. Just a state of being you know, yeah,

Scott Benner 49:13
no, I just I can't even like I had to stop myself because my wife's like, it's too much. And I'm like, but it's so enjoyable. Like, she's like, Oh my god, I'm not upset. I just love to complain about things. Do you not love to complain about things? I don't I don't know why it's fantastic. But you don't do that about diabetes?

Bonnie 49:31
No. And we we have tried from the very beginning to like, I will get frustrated and I try my very best not to show that to her because I don't want her to ever think that it's something she's doing or and and with food she is I just listened to the podcast about sneaking food and thankfully at least right now like she's not a kid who who's doing that. But she will say to me, you know, even from the very beginning, she will say to me, can I have this? Is that okay? And from the very beginning, I was like, yes, absolutely. I was like, we will figure it out. And in my head, I'm like, Oh crap, do you really, really want to eat that? But in my, you know, I don't I don't say that to her. Obviously, yes, we will figure it

Scott Benner 50:26
out every weekend Bolus for anything in your mom's in your mind's eye. You're like, son of a bitch.

Bonnie 50:34
That's exactly it. I'm like, absolutely, sure. And then I'm like, Oh, I mean, truthfully, the only time I that I still really get upset is if I, if I can't say yes to something like if she's like, crazy high for some reason. And like, she wants something. And I'm like, and even then I'm like, You know what, we can't do it right now. I was like, but I promise you, you will be able to have this. And sometimes like it was even like the next day or something. But I was like, but I promise you, you will be able to have

Scott Benner 51:07
that feeling. That feeling right there is what is how I is how I figured out how to crush it and catch it like that right there. Like that idea of oh my god, we're in a scenario where I absolutely for medical reasons have to say you can't eat that right now. And I don't want to be in that situation. It happened very recently, around the holiday. I think I talked about on the podcast, but it might have been Thanksgiving, where we had a situation, ici explained that. But anyway, excuse me one second. Spring around here, everything's just terrible. Um, I'm gonna forget the exact thing that happened. But I think what happened was she was upstairs. I told her to was at the end of an infusion site, I knew it had to be changed. But there's a miscommunication. Some insulin didn't go in, the pump site got swapped, right as this like treat Type food happened. And I made this massive Bolus that I thought handled it and it didn't. So now it's two hours before Thanksgiving dinner, and her blood sugar was like 270, it was like really higher, way higher than we usually say. So we had this interruption with the insulin. And I just looked at it, and I looked at the food and I was like, alright, the food's gonna be done around here. I cannot let her blood sugar be an issue at that point. And I just, I think I injected some insulin, just to make certain that it was going to work. And I put her into a freefall that coincided with Thanksgiving dinner, because well, that worked. But I just couldn't. I couldn't see. I couldn't stomach the idea that Thanksgiving dinner would roll out on the table. And she'd feel like she couldn't eat. I didn't want that. But from experiences like that in the past, that's how I learned to do that. How I Learned how to Pre-Bolus for cereal so well. Because like, in my mind, I was like if we create a fast enough fall, and time it with that incredible kick of the cereal. Like then that then that tug of war that I make happen with a normal meal I could make happen with this too. And it's most of the things that I figured out that I eventually talked about on the podcast come from a desire to not make Arden's life different.

Bonnie 53:30
Right. Yeah. Right. So

Scott Benner 53:34
and everybody can figure stuff like, trust me, I don't know how many times you need me to say it, but I'm an idiot. So if I figured this stuff out, you really can do it. I mean, I know people say that, and it's supposed to be this thing, but I really am. I'm not. I'm not really good at anything else. Like I'm good at this. Maybe for Arden. You know, they mean? I think if it wasn't an ardent if it was me, I don't even know that I'd be very good at it.

Bonnie 53:58
Well, no, but I mean, I that's what I that's what I want. I mean, I think that's what everybody wants, I want I listen, and I want to I want to be able to do this for her and I want to get good at it. And I don't I mean, she's, she's fine. I mean, her her. A onesie is fine. I mean, I think it's pretty good. But I still I still feel like we roller coaster too much. I don't feel like I have a good grasp of like how to handle the food yet. We definitely always Pre-Bolus I've listened to all of like the pro tips. And and I listen again and again. I'm still trying to get the whole fat protein thing. But I want I want to be I want to be like a diabetes ninja. You're like the Obi Wan Kenobi of diabetes. So I want to get that and I feel like I'm not a good rookie. And we're two and a half years. And I don't know. I guess I feel like I should be better at it than I am but

Scott Benner 55:06
two and a half years in Arden say once he was eight and a half, what's Abby's?

Bonnie 55:11
Well, but she didn't have a didn't she not have a CGM yet?

Scott Benner 55:16
Yeah, but that's not the point. Where are you at? Do not want to say you don't know No, no,

Bonnie 55:20
I would be finally saying we haven't done an in person. A one see, I think for like, almost nine months. We're going next week. But um, but the last time we had an in person, she was around like six, which is, which is No, it's great. But like, I don't know, like, I think like we still have a lot of highs, we still have a lot of lows, I want to get it more stable.

Scott Benner 55:47
The a one C is not the end all be all, obviously you're looking for time, time and range, less variability, and those sorts of things that lead to better health. But my point is that you haven't been doing it that long. And you've just described a situation where things seem pretty healthy for her mentally. And that's amazing. And then you can figure the rest of this stuff out. And you know, dialed in. I don't I always am amazed at how quickly people think it's going to work. You don't mean like, if you made like a different correlation, like if you made me a quarterback in the NFL. And you are a person who two years ago said You know, I'm going to be a quarterback in the NFL. I'm gonna listen to Scott's podcast about being a quarterback. In two years in you were a proficient high school quarterback, would you be like I can't believe I'm not an NFL quarterback yet? Like you wouldn't. You'd be like, Wow, this seems like a long process. It's the fact that it's health. That makes it seem and it is I'm not gonna lie like It's like dire. Feels dire. Right? But you're probably doing amazing. I mean, if you're at a six a one, see, even with some lows and highs, you probably don't see blood sugar's over 200 Very often, right?

Bonnie 57:01
Um, we we do we do?

Scott Benner 57:04
Are the big spikes that you get back right away?

Bonnie 57:08
Yes, yes. Let's just say like, I don't leave her. I don't leave her hot very long. Like, there are nights though. And, and I think it comes down to the food, like I have to get better at the food, um, nights or nights are very hard. I we try I try to do dinner early thinking that like I can, you know, get her where I want to be before she goes to bed, but it never seems to work out that way. Like, it's it's it's almost comical, you know, we'll be like, okay, Abby, go to bed and your third child. So we'd like to teenage siblings, so she does not go to bed early. You know, like my, my oldest, you know, when he was 11. He went to bed at like, I don't know, nine or something. And this kid, you know, can go all night, you know, because the house doesn't stop, you know, till very late. So, you know, it's not like she goes to bed early, but like literally be like, okay, Abby, go to bed. And all of a sudden, like, you know, the beeping starts. And it's like, she's either going up, or she's going down. And again, the only time that I get upset is if I have to disturb her. So like, it's one thing. I hate it when she's high. But at least it's me being up at night and not her being up at night when she's low. You know, I can get her to drink in her sleep. But like, I don't like disturbing her, you know, like I would rather I would rather be me having to be often her having.

Scott Benner 58:37
Well, that sounds like a fun thing. You should tell a therapist, Bonnie, but don't worry about it. Don't Don't let it impact what you're doing in the moment. I mean,

Bonnie 58:49
I know it doesn't, it doesn't like I do what I have to do. I just hate it. You know, I have to bother her.

Scott Benner 58:54
Well, I can't say I don't understand. I can just say that. I would hope you'd find a way past that. You know, because it's a that would be like saying, you know, when you're in the hospital and they draw your blood three in the morning? I don't think the nurse feels bad. No, yeah. The nurses like, well, this is what we have to do. That's right. No and

Bonnie 59:15
Exactly. And, and, and, and, you know, we do what we have to do,

Scott Benner 59:19
but you don't want it to happen. And you hear that it's not happening to some people. Yes,

Bonnie 59:24
yes. Yes. And, and I really, really want the new Omnipod Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, you know, on bated breath for that. Because I think I almost feel like, like, I'd be cheating a little bit, but I'm okay with that.

Scott Benner 59:43
That's the weirdest thing you've said so far.

Bonnie 59:46
But is it really I mean, like, I want to figure it out, and I am trying to figure it out. But if that can help me then you know, that's okay, too.

Scott Benner 59:57
I wouldn't. I don't think Subscribe to that idea at all. So I get that you want to be able to figure it out, and that it feels like you should be able to do it with a hammer and a screwdriver. And you don't, and you don't want to Tesla getting any mean like, but if if that's what works, then that's what works. I yeah, I know for anybody who would say, Well, what would happen? If one day Abby grows up and doesn't have insurance and she can't afford her on the pot of five anymore? To that I would say, well, then we'll take all these great years of health. And then Abby can figure it out. Right, right. Because whatever Abby figures out when she's 11 isn't going to be applicable when she's 35 to begin with. So it doesn't matter, right. So I don't understand people are like, No, skip the technology, really bare bones, like, you should know how to give a shot, you should know how to stop a spike, you should know how to fix a low, like, and you know, all that. So if there's, if there's, if there's going to be technology that is going to I'll tell you that I think the algorithms are most valuable at stopping lows. Okay, so so let's just say if there's a piece of technology that at eight o'clock at night, can say to itself, at 10, this girl is going to get low, I'm going to start taking her Basal away now. So that that doesn't happen. That's not cheating. That's amazing.

Bonnie 1:01:21
Oh, I know, I cannot wait for it. I cannot wait for it, you know, and again, I feel very lucky that like, you know, she was diagnosed at like a really good time. You know, in terms of technology, you know, there's so much and it's just getting so much better every day that you know, I couldn't ask for more than that.

Scott Benner 1:01:44
This is it. And I mean, you and I are recording now in May. And in all honesty, June July, this might not go up until like Halloween. So, you know, you and I are the only one saying it, I would be really surprised if on the pod fives not out pretty soon. So and then it just comes down to insurance. And you know, and in getting it going. I'm excited to go for like I love looping. But I want to try on the part five I don't loop has that link that goes between so I'm so sorry, give me a second. I'm gonna have to cut this out. Dying over here. Your loop has I think it's that I didn't have it this morning. Loop has um, loop has you know phone algorithm on your phone. It has the CGM it has the pump. And then there's this other thing that links them all together. It's this sort of bridge right? Some people call Riley link Arden's using an orange link. But it's another thing to carry around. Whereas on the pod five will have the algorithm printed right on the board of the Omni pod, like so it lives with you. So you could walk away from your phone, you could walk away from anything, and the algorithm will keep working. That, to me is very cool. And an art and once that now you can be more aggressive with loop because the settings are user definable. And there's no FDA telling you what to do, right. So we have to get on the pod five and see how I can't wait to get it and see what I can figure out what you don't mean like, I'm assuming that targets going to be like 110 That seems to be where the FDA is putting everybody. So I can't wait to see how you can kind of be more aggressive with settings and and do what we need to do. Now in the end, I'm going to do whatever is best for Arden. But taking Arden out of the picture for a second. Ali part five is going to, for most people living on insulin, it's going to make an incredible improvement for their health. And that's really the focus should be like it's you know, if you have a 4.8 a one C and you're eating, you know, keto, and maybe this thing isn't for you, like I don't know, but you're in a very special situation if that's you. So for most people, people are walking around with eight 910 A one sees people with 12 A one sees who have just resolved themselves like I'm gonna die. It's okay. I'm not like and there are people doing that. Like, I know that you listen to the podcast, it doesn't feel that way and interacting online through the Facebook page for the podcast, you think Oh, everybody's trying so hard. But there are also people who are trying really hard to have absolutely no success and, and have resolved themselves to it. This thing, you could slap this on them and make a major improvement in their life in no time. That's the that's the leap. And then, okay, well, we're gonna I mean, I'm gonna personally be up on the pods but to make it more customizable, and you know, every time I talk to them I mentioned I've been doing it for years. So I'm sticking up for you guys with a lot of different companies. Behind the scenes. I'm always making the case for people who are I'm very involved and need the autonomy to make decisions. So I don't know how valuable I am. But I'm always in there swinging for everybody. Well, it can't hurt. And it can't hurt just to mention sometimes because you don't realize too sometimes you're talking to somebody in a company. Like they're making a thing. They're not like, they're not living your life. You don't mean like, they're like, look, this is my job. I make an insulin pump. Here it is, you know, we've done it. It's an amazing improvement for a vast majority of people with type one diabetes. From their perspective, it's an incredible thing. And they're not wrong. No, it is right. But they need to hear from everybody. So

Bonnie 1:05:38
write real real life experiences. No, I am so excited for it. I can't wait.

Scott Benner 1:05:46
I can't wait to I just emailed my guy. Two weeks ago, and I was like, Is there any news of when, you know?

Bonnie 1:05:58
Yeah, it's like radio silence every time I've called they're like, they don't know anything. They haven't been given any information. And I get that, you know, right. Yeah, I'll wait.

Scott Benner 1:06:08
Yeah, I don't get well listen, Mike, my I'm not calling customer service. But I have guys there. And at the same time, it's still like, you know, I don't know where I can't say or, you know what I mean? Like, there's, there's a lot of considerations for a public company, trying to get something through the FDA is a very

Bonnie 1:06:30
process has to be yes. Crazy. And plus, with COVID. And everything, everything was kind of slow down, I'm sure.

Scott Benner 1:06:36
Yeah. And just regulatorily they can't step up. And like, let's say, just take Company X thought that something was going to be ready on June 10. I'm now literally making up numbers. And they quickly start saying we expect that the FDA is going to on June 10. Like, that's not good. The FDA doesn't love that. Right? So you have to sit very quietly and say we're in the process, we feel good about it. You know, we think it's going to happen in this time frame that that language is not to keep you upset that language is the language they have to use. So, yeah, it's it's very interesting. Is there anything Barney that we have not spoken about that you wish we would have?

Bonnie 1:07:18
Um, no, I mean, it was it was really nice talking with you. I, I love listening to the podcast, I found it pretty much right after she was diagnosed a friend of mine, very good friend of mine, you know, when she was diagnosed, I guess, you know, people were like, what, what can I do? What can I do? And she, I guess, did some research and she emailed me like a whole list of like resources, and one of them was your podcast. And truthfully, I didn't even know how to listen to a podcast, I had to ask my older son. I was like, so So how does this work? And he showed me that there was an app and everything like that. But um, but it was it was very helpful. It was helpful. It's always helpful to like, hear other people's experiences. I love the Pro Tip series and the defining diabetes. I loved the one you did with one were it was almost like, what? What do you what should you somebody who, what do you tell like a family member? Oh, who? What do you want them to say? I can't think of I can't describe it well enough. Do you know what I'm what I'm talking about?

Scott Benner 1:08:38
I do. And ironically, I'm the worst person to describe the podcast to people because I'm so far ahead of where all of you are, right. You're that you're just like, I'm like the I'm like the guy that gets the episodes like before they come out. And so now I'm looking on my own website. Cuz that and that feels douchey just so you know,

Bonnie 1:09:01
No, I'm talking about like, yeah, I love that one. And I gave that one. I sent that one to like, all of my family and all of my friends. And I'm like, this, this is like diabetes basics. And like, this is what you know, I want you to know, and this is how I want you to talk about it to me, or you know, that kind of thing. So I love that one's episode

Scott Benner 1:09:24
371 It's called diabetes pro tip explaining type one.

Bonnie 1:09:28
Yes, that one. And I think that was really important. Because I actually really liked talking about it. I like when people ask me questions. So you know, oh, she's she's, she's high. What does that mean? Okay, well, that means and, and I think it's really important, and I keep trying to tell Abby, you know, again, maybe it's her. It's the age that she's at, but she's not. She doesn't hide her her Omnipod or her Dexcom. She paints the pods. Michigan loves it when people notice, like if they're pretty. And, you know, I keep telling her, you know, it's important that people that you help people understand this. So if people have questions, or if they're looking at something, you know, that's your opportunity to be like, Oh, well, this is what it is. And this is what it means. And, you know, I think that that's, that's really important. So I definitely took to that episode.

Scott Benner 1:10:31
I'm glad. I'm glad you liked it. I really am I, I love this podcast. So I you couldn't get me mad about it. I think it's amazing. I love how it finds people at all different parts of journeys, and that it seems to be able to help them like I just heard that from you. And at the same time, if I open my email, the email I got right before I went to bed last night was from somebody who's had diabetes for over 30 years and found the body. Yes, it did the exact same thing for them that it did for you. And so that's super exciting to me, that it that it applies. Took me years for people to say, Oh, this is just for parents, right? Like that. That would happen to me for years. And I was like, No, it's not like it works for everybody like insulin works the same in us. It does and a little kid. Fascinating, isn't it? And it really is. Yeah, right. So while everybody else is busy saying, you know, your diabetes may vary. I was like, Yeah, I get that. But I don't think that's true, necessarily. Like I mean, I do you see that it's different from person to person in scenario to scenario there's ton of variabilities. But at its core, Basal does what Basal does, you know, your Bolus is do what they do. And I think that along the way, people's misunderstanding about how insulin works, or their inability to apply it correctly, is what makes them think that diabetes varies so much. Because I know what Arden's blood sugar is. Meaning I can picture her last 24 hours. And if you picked up Arden throughout the window, brought a different person in here and drop them in here and said here, Scott, fix this person settings and and treat them like It's Arden for a day, then I'd have that person's blood sugar that way too late. And so so if that's the truth, and it is, then I think at with time, then anybody could do that. It's just important when you hear me say that to recognize that Arden's had diabetes since she was two, she is going to be 17 in a month or two, that I have been terrible at diabetes. I've been okay at it. I've been good at it. And I've been where I am now. And that it's a process and you're going to get to it. But you don't have to have 350 blood sugar's while you're figuring it out.

Bonnie 1:12:43
But no. And I also, like, I think that's also really important to hear, you know, because, yes, you're, you know, a master at it now. But I think it's also very important for people to hear you know, what, I sucked at it at one point. So, yeah, because, as parents, like, you know, we do feel bad when things don't go right for our kids, you know, where, you know, are like, I mess this up, or, you know, I'm doing harm to my child, you know, and, and

Scott Benner 1:13:12
a certain way, adults with type one feel the same exact way. They feel like they're hurting themselves. And it's just right, yeah, but they have the luxury of giving up where parents and I don't mean luxury in the exact sense of the word, but they do they have the luxury of being like, Oh, I can't do this, and like kind of letting it go in their head or pushing it to the back and not dealing with it. Whereas a parent, you're never going to be able to do that. Right? You know, you're just always gonna be like, I got to figure this out, I got to figure this out. I have to tell you that no one's ever equated me to anything from Star Wars. And I really appreciate that as a person who this is probably a story. I'll leave you with that. I don't think anybody have any reasonable age. That's not old can appreciate. But when the Empire Strikes Back came out in theaters. I believe it was 77 or 78 ish in that space, which makes me 678 years old, somewhere in there. And my entire school went to see the movie. Oh, wow. So my entire school, went to the front doors we lined up. So imagine every kid in the school got in a double line. It started at the front door. And it was it's like all through the building. And we just walked out the front door through the parking lot out to a sidewalk, probably a block and a half to the left, two blocks to the right, three blocks back to the right to the right again. We crossed a major highway like situations it's not like a highway but like a massive like five lane road. That and we've crossed that road into the parking lot of a strip center. We walked through the front of the parking lot into the front of this little Mall. And then we filled three theaters for theaters. Were all showing the Empire Strikes Back my entire school solid together. And then we went out the door. And then we went back the same exact way, a snake of children going through a town to go see Star Wars, which probably seems silly now that you can download it onto your phone.

Bonnie 1:15:21
But back then Well, right. But yeah, that's how we

Scott Benner 1:15:24
had to get to it. And it made it. It made it like huge in my mind, I miss your mommy to say something old. I missed that there's, I don't dislike that there's so many options in the world. But when things were more special, it made things more special. Like so. Oh, I'll never forget that. But I do not remember downloading movies that I loved. So I'll never have a story about that. That's for sure.

Bonnie 1:15:52
So now I remember when I remember seeing et and waiting for it to come out on VHS. And it was Monday, let's not like these things happened. Like quickly like they do now you know, where they're like, in the movie theater. And then like, you know, a few months later, you know, on streaming or whatever. But um, but yeah, no, it was no more than once. It was like a year or something before it came out. And I just remember waiting.

Scott Benner 1:16:22
Waiting and waiting waiting to see it one more time or exactly the Charlie Brown. Halloween special was only on once for 30 minutes a year and you haven't really defined it anywhere else. Which is Which by the way now that it's it's up. I can watch it whenever I want. I realize it's not very good. But great. But when you it's really just a bunch of little cartoon kids calling one kid stupid.

Bonnie 1:16:46
Right, right. When you break it down. Yeah, it's like

Scott Benner 1:16:49
that guy sums up. Let's throw a rock. It's basically like that. But yeah, that you could only see it one time. Like I remember being in a restaurant the Friday night that it was going to be on one time and and just sitting there sweating bullets looking at my parents like you. Don't you make it wait for Charlie Brown. Like we got to get home. And then just flopping yourself on the floor and watching it like he didn't move. You sat you watch the commercials? Because you were afraid if you walked away, you'd miss something. And, and that's why I know the mountains and enjoy commercials so well. Because they would always say true.

Bonnie 1:17:26
That's true. Like the kids I don't think no commercials very well. They don't watch.

Scott Benner 1:17:31
That's why when I'm singing jingles in my house, and my kids like what's wrong with you? I was like, oh my god that's drilled in my head. I can't forget that if they would have put out in commercials. Yeah, no algebra. Anyway, Bonnie is really nice talking to you. I appreciate you doing this.

Bonnie 1:17:49
It was nice speaking to you. Thank you. It's my pleasure,

Scott Benner 1:17:52
really. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about evoke hypo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox. you spell that GVOKEGL. You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. I want to thank Bonnie for coming on the show and sharing her story. I want to thank you for listening for sharing the podcast with other people. And for just general and just generally for being terrific. I really appreciate how much you guys support the show. And listen and download and subscribe and I couldn't ask for anything more really wonderful group of people. Thank you so much. I'll be back very soon with another episode.