#1709 Two Shovels, One Headache
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
Two siblings diagnosed a month apart. Their mom—also a child psychologist—talks early warning signs, day-to-day management, and how their family handles stress, burnout, and growing independence.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner (0:00) As the holidays approach, I wanna say welcome and thank all of my good friends for coming back to the Juice Box podcast over and over again.
Dena (0:13) I'm Dina. (0:14) I'm a mom to two relatively newly diagnosed kids with type one diabetes, and I'm a clinical child psychologist.
Scott Benner (0:22) If you're new to type one diabetes, begin with the bold beginning series from the podcast. (0:27) Don't take my word for it. (0:29) Listen to what reviewers have said. (0:31) Bold beginnings is the best first step. (0:33) I learned more in those episodes than anywhere else.
Scott Benner (0:36) This is when everything finally clicked. (0:38) People say it takes the stress out of the early days and replaces it with clarity. (0:42) They tell me this should come with the diagnosis packet that I got at the hospital. (0:46) And after they listen, they recommend it to everyone who's struggling. (0:50) It's straightforward, practical, and easy to listen to.
Scott Benner (0:53) Bold Beginnings gives you the basics in a way that actually makes sense. (0:58) If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast private Facebook group. (1:04) Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes. (1:07) But everybody is welcome. (1:09) Type one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me.
Scott Benner (1:14) If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. (1:23) Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. (1:27) Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. (1:33) US Med is sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast, and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from US Med for years. (1:41) You can as well.
Scott Benner (1:43) Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. (1:50) Use the link or the number, get your free benefits check, and get started today with US Med. (1:56) Today's episode is also sponsored by the Eversense three sixty five, the one year wear CGM. (2:04) That's one insertion a year. (2:05) That's it.
Scott Benner (2:06) And here's a little bonus for you. (2:08) How about there's no limit on how many friends and family you can share your data with with the Eversense Now app? (2:14) No limits. (2:15) Eversense. (2:16) The podcast is also sponsored today by the Tandem Mobi system, which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology.
Scott Benner (2:25) Tandem Mobi has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages two and up. (2:32) Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Dena (2:38) I'm Dina. (2:39) I'm a mom to two relatively newly diagnosed kids with type one diabetes, and I'm a clinical child psychologist.
Scott Benner (2:47) You have two children in total?
Dena (2:49) I have two children in total. (2:51) Okay. (2:51) Correct.
Scott Benner (2:51) And oh, wait a second. (2:54) How old are they?
Dena (2:55) So Zeke is 13, and Ruby is 10. (2:59) Zeke was diagnosed August 2022, and Ruby was diagnosed a month later, September 2022.
Scott Benner (3:09) And when you named them, you were trying to get them their own Disney Channel TV show at the time or what? (3:13) Zeke and Ruby. (3:14) I mean, right? (3:16) That seemed like something your kids would watch in the afternoon?
Dena (3:19) Not anymore. (3:20) They're teenagers now, but maybe maybe once upon a time.
Scott Benner (3:24) When you're on those Disney Channel shows, you have to grow up, get some sort of a drug habit, go off for a little bit, try singing for a little, come back. (3:32) You're good not to put them in it. (3:33) I don't think it would've worked out.
Dena (3:35) Yeah. (3:36) Not our vibe at all.
Scott Benner (3:37) Zeke and Ruby. (3:38) Okay. (3:38) Wait. (3:38) So Zeke's diagnosed and then Ruby's diagnosed how long afterwards?
Dena (3:43) One month.
Scott Benner (3:44) It's not catchy, is it? (3:45) But I I didn't
Dena (3:46) They made me think it.
Scott Benner (3:48) Yeah. (3:48) Yeah. (3:48) Well, so I'm gonna guess. (3:50) Oh, do I wanna guess or do I wanna let you go? (3:54) Why don't I let you go?
Scott Benner (3:55) How did you notice how was Zeke presenting? (3:57) Like, what got you there?
Dena (3:59) Zeke was thick. (4:00) He's a super active, athletic, busy guy, and he'd sort of slowed down. (4:07) His mood hadn't really significantly changed, and it was also the end of summer. (4:12) We'd been traveling. (4:14) We he was, you know, just starting fourth grade, and he had a physical coming up.
Dena (4:20) So my physician, husband, and I were like, meh. (4:24) He's probably fine. (4:25) He was having some, like, leg cramps, which could have been explained by growing pains. (4:31) He was drinking a few Gatorade water bottles a night, but he was a super active kid. (4:38) He'd had a few nights of, like, excessive urination, but, again, like, none of it added up.
Dena (4:44) We didn't know what to look for at the time. (4:47) And, you know, thankfully, he wasn't so sick that he couldn't do the things he loved to do. (4:53) We just were starting to notice some differences.
Scott Benner (4:55) Okay.
Dena (4:56) He was, you know, at his physical, the pediatrician put some pieces together very quickly, and he was admitted with an a one c of 13.
Scott Benner (5:06) Oh. (5:06) Hey. (5:07) You told me what you do for a living, but your husband's a physician as well?
Dena (5:10) I'm a clinical psychologist. (5:12) A psychologist.
Scott Benner (5:12) I'm sorry.
Dena (5:12) But Yep. (5:13) And he is a physician.
Scott Benner (5:14) Your English is so good that I said as well when I shouldn't have, and you were like, you're wrong. (5:18) I'm not a doctor. (5:19) Was like, what?
Dena (5:20) No. (5:20) A doctor, Scott, but a different kind of doctor, to be clear.
Scott Benner (5:24) I have to say, I I said in the kitchen the other day, do you think I could get one of those fake doctor? (5:29) It's like somebody could invite me somewhere to speak and I could be a doctor. (5:32) And my wife was like, oh, god. (5:35) And I think she thought it's possible he could make that happen. (5:40) Then he'd try to get us to call him doctor, which I wouldn't, by the way.
Scott Benner (5:44) It all sounds like too much work for me. (5:46) But, honestly, if you said to me I had to do that, I'd be like, it doesn't seem worth it. (5:50) Tell me again, what is your husband? (5:52) I'm sorry, do.
Dena (5:53) He's a physician. (5:54) He's an interventional radiologist.
Scott Benner (5:56) Oh. (5:57) Oh, okay. (5:57) Alright. (5:58) So the the two of you and your seventeen years of combined schooling didn't see the type one diabetes. (6:05) That's not
Dena (6:06) comforting. (6:07) Nailed it. (6:08) Yeah. (6:08) That's that's exactly right. (6:10) Yes.
Scott Benner (6:10) Should make other people feel better, don't you think?
Dena (6:13) Oh, so much better. (6:14) Yeah. (6:15) You know, we get that a lot, and it's one of our least favorite things that people say is like, oh, there's no better parents than you to do this. (6:24) So And we think, really? (6:25) Like
Scott Benner (6:27) I could think of better people. (6:28) Those people are called not me because Not
Dena (6:30) me. (6:31) Yep.
Scott Benner (6:31) I'm not looking for this. (6:32) Okay. (6:32) So, I mean, with a 13 a one c, even though you don't think that there were a lot of outward signs, I mean, was he in DKA, or did it hit him really quickly? (6:41) How how do you think that happened?
Dena (6:43) You know, I mean, the truth is, like, most things with diabetes, we don't know. (6:48) He was not in DKA yet. (6:51) He was very sick.
Scott Benner (6:52) Mhmm.
Dena (6:54) And, you know, apparently, we caught it. (6:57) He was admitted. (6:58) He felt really shitty in the hospital. (7:00) You know, he was pretty sick and had a lot of signs that, you know, his blood sugar was high for a long time. (7:08) We you know, of course, in hindsight, I think all parents do this of relatively newly diagnosed kids.
Dena (7:12) It's like we, you know, have racked our brains and looked at like, we went away in June to the beach. (7:18) Was he already sick? (7:19) We can we could think of some episodes where we felt like it was likely a really high blood sugar that was making him behave that way. (7:27) But the truth is we don't know, and we'll never know.
Scott Benner (7:30) Yeah.
Dena (7:30) You know, there was there was no overt signs. (7:33) It was just this constellation of weird things that, of course, turned out to be explained by diabetes. (7:39) What Zeke subsequently was you know, his everything was out of whack when he was admitted. (7:46) He was subsequently diagnosed with the trifecta. (7:49) So he has Hashimoto's thyroiditis and celiac Uh-huh.
Dena (7:53) Which arguably is maybe tougher to live with as a 13 year old boy than diabetes.
Scott Benner (7:59) Was there any illness in the house in the months prior to his diagnosis?
Dena (8:05) No. (8:05) Nothing. (8:06) Not that we remember.
Scott Benner (8:07) Because, you know, I'm looking for a reason why the sister pops off immediately afterwards. (8:12) Like, did you both like, did they both have, like, you know, cocksackie or something like that? (8:16) A virus.
Dena (8:17) Nothing overt. (8:19) We, you know, we always wonder, like, did we all have COVID and not know it? (8:23) Mhmm. (8:23) But we didn't know if we did, and there's no clear viral link in our family Interesting. (8:29) That we know of.
Scott Benner (8:31) Let's go back through the family lives though. (8:33) Like, you, your husband, any autoimmune for either of you?
Dena (8:38) Oh, yeah. (8:38) Yeah. (8:39) We have the sort of, like, low grade constellation on both sides of the family.
Scott Benner (8:42) Okay.
Dena (8:44) So my husband's sister has celiac and has had, like, a long history of autoimmune stuff throughout her life. (8:53) She's pretty open about. (8:55) I have thyroid dysfunction, really, that was onset with my second pregnancy. (9:02) Mhmm. (9:02) Hypothyroid.
Dena (9:03) And I was diagnosed with vitiligo, interestingly.
Scott Benner (9:06) Okay. (9:07) I have
Dena (9:07) a pretty mild case. (9:08) It honestly, like, has never really affected me. (9:12) But, you know, of course, now we put together all the pieces that perhaps there was you know, there's a little theme. (9:18) But those are the those are the only known. (9:19) I do have sort of maternal family history of thyroid dysfunction, but, again, nothing that, like, raised eyebrows until now.
Scott Benner (9:27) I joked with somebody the other day. (9:28) I said if every grandmom who whose wrists hurt didn't have a baby, I wonder how much autoimmune there'd be in the world now. (9:35) Because by the time everybody tells their story, eventually, get to a grandmother and, like, my grandmother had RA. (9:40) Like, there's always, like, one of those or very, very commonly. (9:43) But your husband doesn't have anything directly for him?
Dena (9:46) No. (9:47) Not that we know of.
Scott Benner (9:48) Okay. (9:48) Okay. (9:49) How did they get the triple diagnosis right there? (9:53) Did he just run labs while he's in the hospital?
Dena (9:56) So he actually his titers or whatever they draw for celiac were normal added on admission. (10:03) Everything else was out of whack. (10:05) He was diagnosed a year later. (10:07) So just like on his annual blood draw, a year after diagnosis, he was diagnosed with celiac.
Scott Benner (10:12) Oh, okay. (10:13) So not right there. (10:13) Not right then and there.
Dena (10:15) Correct. (10:15) Yeah.
Scott Benner (10:16) Is there looking back, did he have celiac symptoms before the type one?
Dena (10:20) No. (10:21) No. (10:21) Definitely not.
Scott Benner (10:22) Okay. (10:22) And thyroid, the same, do you think?
Dena (10:24) I think. (10:25) You know, it's kinda weird. (10:26) It's this, like, curiosity that we don't check for this stuff in in young kids. (10:30) Sure. (10:31) But there's no reason to believe that he did.
Scott Benner (10:33) Okay. (10:33) You managed with what? (10:34) Synthroid?
Dena (10:35) Yep.
Scott Benner (10:36) And it works for you? (10:37) Like, your TSH is low enough, you don't have symptoms?
Dena (10:41) Yep. (10:41) Exactly. (10:42) Both of us. (10:42) Zeke's going through puberty big time, so everything is changing. (10:46) His dose is a little bit of a moving target, but I'm well managed right now.
Scott Benner (10:50) Yeah. (10:50) Is he growing well?
Dena (10:52) He's growing beautifully. (10:54) You know, it's like, I really hate to talk about silver linings because I just don't think that there's a lot of them here. (10:59) But because he they have so much medical management, we caught his celiac probably right away. (11:06) He was very mildly symptomatic. (11:10) And, like, he's been growing beautifully.
Dena (11:12) They're my kids are huge. (11:14) In fact, whenever we go to the I'm five two. (11:16) And whenever we go to the endocrinologist, she says to me, remind all your husband is? (11:21) Like, how did you make these tall kids? (11:23) So, yeah, I feel so, so grateful that he's growing incredibly well, and it never affected his growth or his health Right.
Dena (11:30) Honestly, that would you know, because we caught it early.
Scott Benner (11:33) Does Ruby have any extras over type one?
Dena (11:36) No extras so far. (11:37) She's just standard.
Scott Benner (11:39) She's standard. (11:39) So tell me one more time. (11:41) Zeke's has diabetes for how long? (11:44) And then you look at your daughter and think, oh my god. (11:46) It's happening again.
Dena (11:48) Yep. (11:48) So he was diagnosed. (11:51) And in the hospital, we have we have just, like, this awesome community of diabetes people in our world. (11:58) So our endocrinologist is actually also a mom at our school. (12:02) Mhmm.
Dena (12:03) And I coached lacrosse at the school. (12:06) So she came in to Zeke's hospital room and said, coach Dunn. (12:11) What's up? (12:12) And she has been our our endocrinologist ever since. (12:15) And she said, I think as they'd say to everyone, you know, you know that this can run-in families.
Dena (12:22) Siblings are higher risk. (12:23) And in that moment, it planted a seed of worry, but that's not that hard to do with me. (12:29) And, you know, my husband, like, rolled his eyes and patted me on the back, and, thankfully, Zeke was discharged, healthy, and good to go. (12:36) But, of course, that little seed of worry, I think, sort of bloomed in me, and so I'm, like, watching Ruby carefully. (12:42) And she perhaps is drinking a touch more water, but I am so exhausted and strung out and anxious about everything at that point Mhmm.
Dena (12:50) That I you know, I'm like, no way. (12:52) No way. (12:53) No way. (12:54) And about a few weeks later, Zeke was actually playing baseball at the time, and Ruby was at the game running around. (12:59) And she kept saying, mom, I have a wedgie in my leggings.
Dena (13:03) Like, my leggings are fitting funny. (13:05) And I was like, okay. (13:07) You know, these were leggings from the previous spring, and this was fall. (13:11) And I thought, why is my little seven year old pants falling down?
Scott Benner (13:16) Mhmm.
Dena (13:17) So I threw her up on the scale because I don't know. (13:19) I've known her past weight, and she had actually, like, lost a pound or two, which, again, like normal life, no one would think anything of in my opinion. (13:29) But, of course, that worry seed grew bigger. (13:31) And I said to my husband, like, something's not right. (13:34) Something's not right with Ruby.
Dena (13:35) And he said, I'm sure it's fine, Dina. (13:39) But if you're really worried, you'll take her to the pediatrician. (13:41) I, of course, wanted to poke her finger right there and do ketones and do the whole thing. (13:46) And he warned me, mostly because I think he was really worried about me spinning out. (13:50) And so I I
Scott Benner (13:52) He was worried about you as soon as the endocrinologist mentioned it. (13:57) This episode is sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. (14:00) And today, I'm gonna tell you about Tandem's newest pumping algorithm. (14:04) The Tandem Mobi system with Control IQ plus technology features auto bolus, which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia. (14:14) It has a dedicated sleep activity setting and is controlled from your personal iPhone.
Scott Benner (14:19) Tandem will help you to check your benefits today through my link, tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. (14:26) This is going to help you to get started with Tandem's smallest pump yet that's powered by its best algorithm ever. (14:32) Control IQ plus technology helps to keep blood sugars in range by predicting glucose levels thirty minutes ahead, and it adjusts insulin accordingly. (14:41) You can wear the Tandem Mobi in a number of ways. (14:44) Wear it on body with a patch like adhesive sleeve that is sold separately, clip it discreetly to your clothing, or slip it into your pocket.
Scott Benner (14:52) Head now to my link, tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox, to check out your benefits and get started today. (15:00) Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. (15:06) US Med has done that for us. (15:09) When it's time for Arden's supplies to be refreshed, we get an email. (15:13) Rolls up and in your inbox says, hi, Arden.
Scott Benner (15:15) This is your friendly reorder email from US Med. (15:19) You open up the email. (15:20) It's a big button that says click here to reorder, and you're done. (15:24) Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one. (15:28) US Med has done that for us.
Scott Benner (15:30) An email arrives, we click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. (15:36) That simple. (15:37) Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. (15:46) I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. (15:48) I click on one link, I open up a box, I put the stuff in the drawer, and we're done.
Scott Benner (15:54) US Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMs like the Libre three and the Dexcom g seven. (16:03) They accept Medicare nationwide, over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call (888) 721-1514 or go to my link, usmed.com/juicebox. (16:18) Using that number or my link helps to support the production of the juice box podcast.
Dena (16:23) You got it. (16:23) Yeah. (16:23) Yeah. (16:23) Exactly. (16:24) Like, uh-oh.
Scott Benner (16:25) He's like, there goes my whole life.
Dena (16:27) Right. (16:28) And and you remember, like, we're a month in. (16:31) Right? (16:31) So, like, even a Dexcom change, like, caused great stress in our house. (16:35) You know, just we were learning all the things.
Dena (16:37) And so I felt crazy anyway, and I did I did do exactly what my husband suggested. (16:44) We we went to the pediatrician. (16:45) Thank goodness it was our same pediatrician who kinda did the same thing, like patted me on the back. (16:50) Ruby remembers the story beautifully. (16:51) She says it was a Tuesday, and I remember you took me out of school.
Dena (16:55) We And told my teacher I was gonna be right back because I just was gonna need to pee in the cup at the pediatrician. (16:59) Mhmm. (17:00) And this is the moment everything changed, really, is, you know, she had glucose in her urine, and her blood sugar was 300.
Scott Benner (17:11) Wow. (17:12) Wow. (17:13) Wow. (17:13) Wow. (17:13) Wow.
Scott Benner (17:13) How about that?
Dena (17:14) The pediatrician looked at me, and all the blood rushed out of her face.
Scott Benner (17:19) Yeah. (17:20) And she said, oh my god, Deni. (17:22) You are giving your children type one diabetes. (17:24) Somehow, are you doing this? (17:26) And please get away from it.
Scott Benner (17:29) Can you guys back up a couple of steps, please? (17:31) She's
Dena (17:32) Literally. (17:32) She just like, she didn't know what to say.
Scott Benner (17:35) Right.
Dena (17:35) I I mean, she just did not know what to say. (17:37) And at this point, I have everyone's cell phones on speed dial. (17:41) Even the pediatrician. (17:42) Our wonderful pediatrician was, like, calling me to check-in on us after Zeke was diagnosed. (17:48) So she didn't know what to do, and we'd just been discharged.
Dena (17:51) Like like No. (17:52) I just said goodbye to all these people. (17:54) Like, last thing I wanna do
Scott Benner (17:55) is goodbye. (17:55) There's no doubt that when you walked in that office, she was thinking, uh-oh. (17:59) This one's cracked already. (18:01) Like, she, yeah, like, she definitely thought you were crazy when you brought her in. (18:05) Oh.
Scott Benner (18:05) Yeah.
Dena (18:05) A 100%. (18:06) Everyone did. (18:07) Mhmm. (18:07) Everyone did. (18:08) Yeah.
Dena (18:08) And it was the most validating and terrifying moment. (18:12) Yeah. (18:12) Right? (18:13) Of, like, I knew it. (18:14) My mom intuition was right.
Dena (18:16) I knew it, and I don't wanna have known it.
Scott Benner (18:18) Yeah. (18:19) Of Of all the things to be right about. (18:21) Yeah.
Dena (18:21) You know? (18:22) Yeah. (18:22) Yeah. (18:23) But I just knew. (18:24) I just had this weird sneaking suspicion.
Dena (18:26) And so, you know, then the cascade, we but we truly, like, called our endocrinologist on speakerphone in the pediatrician's office. (18:34) And, of course, she I think her little science brain and research brain starts going like, oh, did we catch it really early? (18:42) And we see on a different
Scott Benner (18:43) level. (18:44) Yeah.
Dena (18:44) Yeah. (18:44) Exactly. (18:45) Everyone was, honestly, because it was it was I mean, Ruby was almost sort of in that, like, pre space of could we do some mitigation. (18:54) And, you know, her a one c, I think, was, like, 6.2 at diagnosis. (18:58) So we definitely caught it extremely early, unusually so.
Scott Benner (19:03) The question has to be is, was she symptomatic the day that Zeke was diagnosed? (19:09) Like, could you have on that same day said check her too and they would have found something?
Dena (19:16) And, again, like, what we learned is that I mean, again, only, like, you only know once you know is she was really spiking randomly. (19:28) So it could have been that they could have just done a quick finger poke, and her blood sugar was normal, and we never thought about it. (19:33) So, I mean, we'll again, we'll never know.
Scott Benner (19:35) Gotcha.
Dena (19:35) But it it's very possible. (19:38) And she, you know, she was discharged on just, a bit of Lantus at the time and and then honestly progressed very quickly. (19:44) We had a whole, like, buffet table in our little in our kitchen of each kid had a poke plan and they would their little ratios were up on a whiteboard. (19:55) And I kinda went into pediatric psychologist mommy mode and got everybody comfy and situated at home, and that was our normal all of a sudden.
Scott Benner (20:03) You guys pivoted well, you think?
Dena (20:06) I mean, can anyone pivot well to this? (20:08) Sometimes I say that we've, like, learned a new language overnight. (20:12) But, yeah, we are you know, my kids are resilient. (20:15) I feel so grateful to be able to say that, but I think, you know, we pivoted as well as anyone has to pivot.
Scott Benner (20:21) Yeah. (20:22) No. (20:22) I mean, I recall I've I've I recall feeling like a zombie in the beginning. (20:26) We're just wandering around the house and everything felt I don't know. (20:31) Like, I've I've described it a ton of different ways, the best way I think is it feels like somebody, like, slapped me in the head with a shovel, and then my head was ringing.
Scott Benner (20:38) And they and they were like, keep living. (20:40) And while my head was ringing, I was like, what just happened? (20:42) Felt like that went on for a little while. (20:45) Yeah. (20:46) Yeah.
Scott Benner (20:46) Gosh. (20:46) That's I mean, that's gotta be overwhelming. (20:49) I mean, I know you're you're probably professionally as prepared for something like this as somebody could beat, but does that transfer to you? (20:57) Like, does, you know, does your background actually help you on yourself, or do you focus it on your kids and and it doesn't help you? (21:08) When you think of a CGM and all the good that it brings in your life, is the first thing you think about, I love that I have to change it all the time?
Scott Benner (21:15) I love the warm up period every time I have to change it? (21:19) I love that when I bump into a door frame, sometimes it gets ripped off. (21:22) I love that the adhesive kinda gets mushy sometimes when I sweat and falls No. (21:26) These are not the things that you love about a CGM. (21:30) Today's episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by the Eversense three sixty five, the only CGM that you only have to put on once a year, and the only CGM that won't give you any of those problems.
Scott Benner (21:42) The Eversense three sixty five is the only one year CGM designed to minimize device frustration. (21:49) It has exceptional accuracy for one year with almost no false alarms from compression lows while you're sleeping. (21:55) You can manage your diabetes instead of your CGM with the Eversense three sixty five. (22:01) Learn more and get started today at eversensecgm.com/juicebox. (22:07) One year, one CGM.
Dena (22:09) Good question. (22:11) Hard question. (22:12) You know, I think the truth is is that I really do focus it on my kids. (22:17) I it doesn't really work on yourself. (22:19) Right?
Dena (22:20) Like, it doesn't really work on anyone I love, generally speaking. (22:23) Hopefully, if I separate my work
Scott Benner (22:25) He's like, no one listens to me.
Dena (22:26) Enough? (22:27) I'm like, if only. (22:29) No. (22:29) No. (22:30) You know, I think, honestly, it's only been after my head stopped ringing from my, like, double shovel whack Mhmm.
Dena (22:37) That I think I've started to turn more towards really, like, intentional self care. (22:43) But, pouring it into my kids was easy and and necessary. (22:47) Right?
Scott Benner (22:47) Yeah.
Dena (22:48) It is true. (22:48) You just sort of reach into all the spaces that you know how to take care of your kids and to help them adjust. (22:57) And one of the things I've learned too is sometimes I tease that, like, their blood sugars mimic their personality sometimes. (23:04) But although I have two kids with type one who were diagnosed really at the same exact time Yeah. (23:09) It presents differently, and it looks different in every body.
Dena (23:12) And it's it's it's been just, a really interesting adventure and learning about what each of them needs and and how to how to do right by them, both emotionally and psychosocially and medically.
Scott Benner (23:24) So you really are learning it's easy to say that both of your kids got type one, so there's a a new life to think about. (23:32) But there's actually two new lives, and you have to keep them separated. (23:37) There's steps to take when it's him. (23:39) There's steps to take when it's her, and they're not the same. (23:43) Is that right?
Dena (23:44) Oh, that could not be more right. (23:46) About that. (23:46) Yes.
Scott Benner (23:47) Yeah. (23:47) So just like parenting except, day to day and never ending. (23:52) Like Yeah. (23:53) Exactly. (23:53) Yeah.
Scott Benner (23:54) Because you have you know, like, there's sometimes, like, the thing you say to one isn't the thing you would say to the other one in the same situation. (24:00) But you even have time to figure that out as you're getting older. (24:02) Also, you watch, some parents don't figure it out. (24:05) Right? (24:05) Some parents have, like, this is my style.
Scott Benner (24:07) I apply it evenly over all of them. (24:09) And some of them do better with it than others, but they don't bend. (24:13) But you had to because it's medical. (24:15) So, like, you had to, like, figure one out then figure the other one out. (24:19) How long I mean, this is only three years ago.
Scott Benner (24:21) Right? (24:22) Mhmm. (24:23) Yeah. (24:23) Yep. (24:23) Are you there yet?
Scott Benner (24:25) Like, how would you describe where you're at currently?
Dena (24:28) I feel like every day is a new adventure. (24:31) I feel like there most days as much as anyone can be there three years in. (24:36) Mhmm. (24:37) And as much as anyone can be there parenting, really, like, two teenagers. (24:41) Right?
Dena (24:41) Both kids are going through puberty. (24:43) Both kids are exploring their independence and autonomy in life and in diabetes at the same time. (24:49) Right. (24:50) I think I don't you know, does anyone ever really figure it out to the best of the best? (24:55) Probably not, but we're trying really hard to get it right for each kid.
Dena (25:00) And I I love how you said that. (25:01) It feels true to my experience, which is you really have to parent the kid you have. (25:06) You also have to treat the diabetes your kid has. (25:08) Yeah. (25:09) Both at the same time.
Scott Benner (25:10) I have to tell you until you really said that to me. (25:12) It's not that I didn't, I guess, academically understand it, but it's not a thing that popped into my head that it would be it could be significantly different from one or the other. (25:19) Like, I would have believed you if you said, you know, you know, my daughter gets a period, so, like, there's there's that, like, hormonal shift every month. (25:27) But just the idea that it's completely the same and yet ultimately a little different and that it's on you to remember that. (25:35) I mean, I don't know how much your husband's involved in the management stuff, but it's up to you, you know, the two of you to figure that out.
Scott Benner (25:41) And then it also must be confusing for the kids to watch their situations be very similar but different at the same time.
Dena (25:50) Oh my gosh. (25:51) Yeah. (25:51) That is so so right. (25:53) Yeah. (25:53) My husband is intimately involved in everything just as I am.
Dena (25:57) And, actually, that adds another variable. (25:59) Right? (25:59) Like, dad does things one way and mom does things another way, and the kids know it just like they do in parenting. (26:04) You know how parents will say, like, oh, go. (26:06) I'm gonna go ask dad because mom said no.
Scott Benner (26:08) Yeah.
Dena (26:08) Same thing happens in diabetes. (26:10) Right? (26:10) So, you know, I put a pump on in a particular way. (26:13) Ruby likes to squeeze in a particular way. (26:16) All of their flavors of independence and interdependence show up in diabetes management.
Dena (26:21) So, yeah, it's it's all of those things at the same time. (26:25) And they do have, you know, as as you know, as everyone who's listening knows, like, they have their preferences in life, and they'll show up in diabetes too. (26:34) Right? (26:34) Whether it's, like, the sites that they prefer or don't. (26:37) Poor Zeke has super sensitive skin, so he has, like, a whole ritual of what we put on before the pump and how he likes it cut and the patches they prefer and, you know, all of the things.
Dena (26:48) Even how they run, like, Zeke tends to sort of I I really say often, like, his his blood sugar often mimics his personality. (26:56) He's like a high high guy and a low low guy. (26:58) He's really, like and that is how his blood sugar looks sometimes, but it's it doesn't faze him, whereas Ruby is much more steady and prefers it that way. (27:06) Last night, we had a pump malfunction, and Ruby said, like, mommy, I don't like, I can't remember when I was that high. (27:13) Maybe two times, she said.
Dena (27:14) You know? (27:15) But she it's just interesting how they they and they look out for each other, and they care for each other. (27:19) I think it's you know, again, like, you don't wanna have to share this with anybody, but they do have a shared experience. (27:24) And they you know, for better or worse, they're in it together.
Scott Benner (27:28) Have you seen that change their relationship at all?
Dena (27:31) Deeply. (27:32) Deeply. (27:33) Yeah.
Scott Benner (27:34) So they've kinda got each other's backs?
Dena (27:37) When Ruby was diagnosed, they both were still MDI, and she would only let two people at school give her injections, the school nurse who is genuinely, like, part of our family and her brother.
Scott Benner (27:51) Oh, oh, he'd come down and help her?
Dena (27:53) And he'd come down and give her a shot before lunch. (27:55) Yep.
Scott Benner (27:56) That must be sweet. (27:58) Right?
Dena (27:58) I mean, yeah. (27:59) Right? (27:59) Like, it's a it's it's just like what they did. (28:03) So, yes, would would I have ever dreamed that my, like, needle phobic 10 year old son would be capable of doing that? (28:08) No.
Dena (28:09) No way. (28:09) And he did. (28:11) You know? (28:11) And so, yeah, they they do they also have a totally normal sibling relationship, hopefully, where they bicker and, you know Yeah. (28:19) Have all the normal sibling things, and they look out for each other.
Dena (28:23) We've also found we have this awesome babysitter who really doesn't babysit anymore. (28:26) She comes and hangs out, but she has type one, and they hang out with her. (28:29) And they all go low together and they all eat candy together. (28:32) And so we try to find people to bring into our life who get it more profoundly even than my husband and I do.
Scott Benner (28:40) Do you know a lot of people with type one or just the babysitter?
Dena (28:43) You know, we know a few. (28:48) There are a few people in our community. (28:51) Not very many in our specific school, but we do know a few. (28:55) And I've found I don't know if this is your experience too, but we found, like, some people are really looking for people in community and other people are not.
Scott Benner (29:02) Mhmm.
Dena (29:02) You know? (29:03) So I I've found a few people who have been really open and shared their experience. (29:08) It's actually another family with siblings in our community. (29:10) And when we were first diagnosed, like, I met the mom for coffee, and she brought me a, like, a huge bag of all their favorite candies for Lowe's and, you know, just, like, in it together. (29:21) I feel like I found my community in kind of sneaky places.
Dena (29:24) So other, you know, parents who have kids recently diagnosed, our endocrinologists, and our educators, most of them have type one and have been, you know, people in our world so that the kids have Zeke actually asked me recently. (29:36) He's a big athlete. (29:37) He was on the lacrosse field, and some kid came up to him and said, hey. (29:40) You have type one too. (29:41) He came home and he said, what do I say when someone says that to me?
Dena (29:46) Like, what's the appropriate response? (29:48) Like, yep. (29:48) I get it. (29:49) So, you know, we we try.
Scott Benner (29:51) I was watching game three of the World Series the other night, And behind home plate to the right is a woman in, like I don't remember how she was dressed, but I remember she was jumping around a lot and cheering and going crazy. (30:04) And there was an Omnipod in her arm. (30:06) And it might be the only thing I could see while I was watching the game. (30:10) I just I just kept thinking like, oh, she has type one. (30:12) And, you know, and she's just bouncing up and down and, like, you know, I don't know what she was doing.
Scott Benner (30:16) She was screaming and yelling. (30:18) I don't know that in a million years, if Arden didn't have diabetes, if I didn't know all you guys, like, I I don't think I ever would have noticed that thing on her, ever.
Dena (30:26) No. (30:27) And then Yeah. (30:27) And now you notice it everywhere. (30:29) Right? (30:29) You have, like, little Dexcom radar.
Scott Benner (30:31) Yeah. (30:32) I know. (30:32) Right away, you're like, oh, there's a bump in somebody's, like, on the side of their pants or, like, you know, you can see CGMs on people and it is interesting how it shifts your focus. (30:42) Yeah. (30:42) How much are you involved in decision making for diabetes, for carb counting, for that kind of stuff, devices being put on, taken off, etcetera, and how much are they handling on their own?
Dena (30:55) Good question also. (30:56) Honestly, my kids are pretty amazing at working towards independence, and they're really motivated. (31:03) Motivated. (31:04) So I think that, like, I feel grateful for that. (31:07) I think that that's just intrinsic to their personality is their kids who are just, like, really motivated to mastery in a lot of things in the world, and diabetes isn't that different for them.
Dena (31:17) I think that my husband and I have spent a lot of time really intentionally talking about this question specifically of, like, how much should we do and how much should they do? (31:27) And I've learned a ton from you too, Scott. (31:29) Like, listening to your journey and and other people on the podcast, I feel like it's a real space where there's just not a right or best answer.
Scott Benner (31:36) Mhmm.
Dena (31:37) So I I feel like I'm always open to, like, what's the right thing to do? (31:40) But generally speaking, the kids are very independent considering their ages, and they are also very reliant on us for being a sounding board. (31:50) You know, we have all of these systems in place that it's, like, funny when you ask them, like, oh, what do we do? (31:55) And then I think, oh, wait. (31:56) We do a lot of things.
Dena (31:57) So when they go to school, we have a text chain between us and the nurses for each kid. (32:02) Zeke at school, Ruby at school. (32:04) And I text the number of carbs in their lunch every morning. (32:07) My husband and I make lunches for them every morning almost. (32:11) And the nurse thumbs up the text, and then the kids have little Zeke uses a rocket ship emoji to let us know he's dosing.
Dena (32:19) Mhmm. (32:19) Ruby just texts dosing, and sometimes it comes out dozing or doing or some funny little kid, you know, typo.
Scott Benner (32:26) Wait till it comes out. (32:27) I'm an adult, and I don't need your help with this.
Dena (32:32) You know, sometimes there are those, passive messages, but we kinda, like, have, you know, communication where they just report back. (32:39) When Ruby does hot lunch at school, she takes a picture of her tray and takes a guess at the carbs, and 99.9% of the time, she's absolutely accurate. (32:46) Mhmm. (32:47) You know? (32:47) So I think, like, we're building their independence.
Dena (32:50) That's our goal at least. (32:51) And then there are times when we we're we're originally from Colorado, so we go skiing a lot. (32:55) And we when we go skiing, they will say, like, you hold the phone. (33:00) You do it. (33:00) Like, I wanna go have fun.
Dena (33:02) And so as a family, we put on the giant red backpack, and we just, like, go cruise, and the kids know that they're sort of leaving their management to us. (33:09) They're always, of course you know? (33:10) And then they say, I feel low on the chairlift or whatever it is. (33:13) But we're you know? (33:14) So I think we we are hopefully sort of developmentally appropriately managing who's in charge and how how we do it.
Scott Benner (33:23) So are you thinking about that from a clinical standpoint or from a parenting standpoint? (33:28) Do you have a mix? (33:30) Because, I mean, I feel like I'm hearing you talk about the way I talk about it, but I don't have any, like, larger words to use. (33:36) So, you know, like, sir seriously, I I think about it like a slow handoff. (33:41) There's no rush to get to the answer.
Scott Benner (33:43) You don't send signals. (33:45) Like, at 12 years old, you need to know this. (33:46) And by the time you're 14, you need to know that. (33:48) It's just like, here are the things that I'm trying to impart to you. (33:52) Some of them take longer than others.
Scott Benner (33:54) The goal is that by the time I mean, I guess everybody thinks about it differently, but I think the goal is by the time you're in your mid twenties, you find yourself thinking like, I know more than these old people, and you're actually probably right. (34:06) And you're making good decisions, and you're okay. (34:08) And you still have the autonomy to turn and ask somebody for advice or help or whatever if you realize you're you're short somewhere. (34:16) I think about life that way. (34:17) I've applied that to type one.
Scott Benner (34:20) But I'm wondering if am I following a book that I don't realize I'm following? (34:24) Or is am I following some sort of whatever my common sense says? (34:28) Or, you know, does that make sense as far as an answer where there's no question mark at the end?
Dena (34:32) Yeah. (34:33) And, like, I wish there was a book. (34:35) Right? (34:35) I I tease in my professional life that I've coined a very few terms in my career, but one of them is your kid is not in a book. (34:43) Like, there's no book for that.
Dena (34:45) And I think that's the same answer here. (34:47) I can't ignore what I know professionally or more specifically just about child development, But that has, of course, helped me as a mom every step of the way, hopefully, for the better for my kids. (34:58) I don't know. (34:59) My husband may disagree, but, you know, I think I think we just do the best we can. (35:04) I think we also have to follow our kids' lead when they are sturdy leaders themselves.
Dena (35:10) I don't feel like I you know, it's funny that you say that you the language sounds different. (35:15) You know, I feel like this is just my my way of parenting, and I try to apply that, like you said, just diabetes too.
Scott Benner (35:22) Right. (35:22) I feel bad for you because I feel like there's things that could happen where you where you would be able to step back and go, oh, our likelihood for heroin use just went up five percent. (35:31) Like, know, like the aces like, you know that aces? (35:34) I love that aces list. (35:35) I really do.
Scott Benner (35:36) Yeah. (35:36) When Erica told me about that, I was like, that's real? (35:40) I was like, oh, thank you. (35:41) Please tell me more about this. (35:43) You know, because it every everything makes so much more sense when you look at it.
Scott Benner (35:46) It also, for me, helps me I'm gonna use a phrase that I don't think sounds natural coming out of my mouth. (35:53) But, like, it helps me to give people grace when I see them struggling with things. (35:57) And, you know, we're doing something that's ponderous, and you're just like, well, how's he gonna not have that happen to him? (36:03) He's got these four things off that list. (36:05) Like, this was definitely gonna happen.
Scott Benner (36:07) How hard is that when you're raising a kid to see something happen and think, uh-oh, we just got 3% closer to a problem? (36:14) And Oh my gosh.
Dena (36:15) I mean, I would be so screwed if I thought about parenting like that, Scott. (36:19) So thank god.
Scott Benner (36:19) No. (36:20) I imagine. (36:20) I'm just wondering if it happens or not.
Dena (36:22) That's all. (36:22) I mean, you know, every once in a while in my darkest moments, I'll, like, think about that. (36:26) But I I try not to in the sense that, like, I just try to be in the moment. (36:30) And every parent catastrophizes. (36:32) Right?
Dena (36:33) Like, when your kid says something, like, oh, no. (36:35) They're
Scott Benner (36:36) This is it.
Dena (36:36) Whatever is gonna happen.
Scott Benner (36:37) Terrible to them. (36:38) Is coming. (36:39) I can see it. (36:40) Yep. (36:40) Yep.
Scott Benner (36:40) No.
Dena (36:40) I'm just like, oh my god. (36:43) So, yeah, of course, I can cast your bread just like every other mommy and maybe even more as a psychologist mommy. (36:48) Mhmm. (36:48) You know? (36:49) Because, yeah, of course, you can't not think about those things.
Dena (36:52) But I also how about this? (36:53) To balance out your aces, I also think about resilience. (36:57) And I I really try because it helps me sleep at night. (37:01) It's like all the things that are terrible that happen when you have a young kid with type one diabetes and all the things that feel terrible as a parent being out of control or navigating, you know, all the things that you always talk about are also balanced out by their strength. (37:16) And truly, that is much more in line with how I like to think and the lens through which I see kids in general.
Dena (37:22) I think I am better at my job because of that too. (37:25) Right. (37:25) And, hopefully, I'm a better mommy because of it too because they are so stinking strong and resilient, and they have you know, they're amazing communicators even when they're not. (37:35) And they're, you know, blocking me or blacklisting me or that went till they turn figure out how to turn us off on dexcom follow one day. (37:43) But also even that, it's sort of like, alright.
Dena (37:45) Well, good luck. (37:46) Hope that serves you.
Scott Benner (37:47) Can I pick through your the way you think about resilience for a second? (37:51) Because I'm a little of two minds on it because for you, using you as an example. (37:56) Right? (37:56) You have two kids that sound like they're pretty bright. (37:59) I mean, they come from like, you know, their parents are both educated and, you know, in the in the medical field.
Scott Benner (38:05) So, I mean, it it to me shows a an understanding and ability to learn and retain things, etcetera. (38:12) Makes sense to me that your, you know, your apple might not have fallen too far from your tree. (38:16) Although, I've seen it I've seen the apple fall, roll down a hill, go over a waterfall, and you think, like, these two people couldn't possibly be more different. (38:23) But sounds like your kids aren't that much different. (38:26) My point is is if I was just talking about it from my perspective or, you know, you're talking about it from your perspective, the kids are resilient, they're strong, they're adjusting, this is awesome, this is how we've set it up, it's working.
Scott Benner (38:37) I also find myself as, a host of of, you know, of a conversation that I realize is being heard by more people than just you and I. (38:45) What about the people who don't have that? (38:48) I hate that society thinks that you either are strong or you're not. (38:53) Like, you know what I mean? (38:54) Like, it's like a decision you made.
Scott Benner (38:55) Like, why don't you just be more resilient or try harder or, you know, who's gonna carry the boats or whatever all those podcasters yell about all the time about how you're gonna be awesome in the world and everything. (39:06) Like, what happens when you're just not you know what I mean? (39:09) Like, like, for whatever reason, wiring, circumstances, trauma, whatever's happened to you before leaves you in a position where you're just not a resilient person. (39:19) Like, shit happens to you and you fold. (39:21) You go, oh my god.
Scott Benner (39:22) I'm gonna lay down now. (39:24) I don't believe that to be a conscious decision. (39:26) It reminds me very much of I'm gonna use this example for the rest of my life. (39:31) Hurricane Katrina, which at this point now is might have been twenty years ago. (39:35) I have no idea how long ago it was.
Scott Benner (39:37) Standing outside of my house talking to one of my neighbors, and he says, don't understand why they didn't leave. (39:43) And I said, can you imagine being so poor or or so something that with days notice, could not escape something that was coming to kill you? (39:53) Mhmm. (39:53) Why would you just act like, I can't believe that they didn't leave? (39:58) How come you can't think, oh my gosh.
Scott Benner (40:00) What's the situation they're in that didn't allow them to leave? (40:04) And I think about their resilience the same way. (40:07) Hope this is making sense. (40:08) Right? (40:08) Like Totally.
Scott Benner (40:09) Yeah. (40:09) Yeah. (40:09) Yeah. (40:10) Like, so there are plenty of people in the world who just, like, see you and you're twenty pounds overweight, and what they think is you don't you eat wrong and you don't exercise. (40:17) What if that's not true?
Scott Benner (40:19) Like, what if you are eating right and you do exercise and you have a genetic issue and you're twenty pounds overweight? (40:24) Or here's one. (40:26) What if you don't eat well and you don't exercise, but you also have three jobs and you're broke? (40:32) And I think, who cares? (40:34) Like, I say, who cares?
Scott Benner (40:35) I don't care how you got there. (40:37) I, in a perfect situation, don't wanna see a human being struggling for any reason whatsoever. (40:42) Why don't we look for ways to help them? (40:45) Taking this all back to resilience, I just don't know. (40:48) Like, there's part of me that loves when you tell me your kids are strong, and there's part of me that feels sad that they have to be.
Scott Benner (40:56) Does that make sense?
Dena (40:57) It's my every day.
Scott Benner (40:59) Okay.
Dena (40:59) Yes.
Scott Benner (40:59) Okay.
Dena (41:00) It makes so much sense. (41:01) And it's notice, you know, my knee jerk response was just to pivot away from the hard stuff because if we sit there for too long, it is. (41:13) Like, why do why do any of these kids I just listened to one of your episodes on the airplane over the weekend of, like, you know, why did this have to happen? (41:22) And we can spend lots and lots of time, and most of us who are parenting in this space have. (41:28) I think you bring up a really valid point too, which is just, like, acknowledging and honoring our privilege in so many different spaces to have resources and access and support systems, all of those things.
Scott Benner (41:40) Dina, can I stop you for a second? (41:42) An irony about me I want everybody to understand. (41:45) When you said that, I I both feel that way and I get what they call douche chills from the from the phrase. (41:51) Like, I I when you're like, we honored our privilege, I'm like, oh god. (41:55) I don't wanna be a person who honors the privilege.
Scott Benner (41:58) I was like, I would just like to be a person. (42:00) Like, it's the wording that throws me out. (42:02) It's really interesting. (42:03) Like, I a 100% agree with you. (42:05) You have to be able to look up once in a while and see just you know what?
Scott Benner (42:09) You have skills, life, whatever. (42:13) However your stew got made, it's resilient in this situation or it works against this thing. (42:18) And I know that is privilege. (42:20) I just I'm like, I'm not from the part of the like, I don't know. (42:24) I hate it when somebody says that.
Dena (42:26) You pulled for it, Scott. (42:28) You pulled for it, and I had to say it because I felt like we gotta name it upfront. (42:32) Like, yeah. (42:33) There's a lot of reasons.
Scott Benner (42:34) You're a 100% right. (42:34) There's a
Dena (42:35) lot of reason people don't leave.
Scott Benner (42:37) When Erica uses, like, what I call therapy words
Dena (42:40) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (42:40) I think, oh, I agree with her. (42:42) And I somehow, like, there's part of me that doesn't wanna be attributed to agreeing with her, but I do and it's because of the wording. (42:48) The only reason I bring it up is because I think there might be a lot of people listening who have the same, like, reaction to it. (42:56) And at the same time, I think that they deserve the courtesy that comes with it. (43:01) So, you know I mean,
Dena (43:02) you taught me a new term, douche chills. (43:05) Now it's forever cemented in my brain.
Scott Benner (43:07) You don't know that word?
Dena (43:08) I don't know that. (43:09) I don't know that term, but now I do. (43:11) And yeah. (43:12) I mean, I feel like we have to just acknowledge it. (43:14) So I don't we don't have to use any terms that give you chills of any kind.
Dena (43:18) But I think it's worth saying, like, we have we we do. (43:22) We are grateful for the resources we have.
Scott Benner (43:24) Yeah.
Dena (43:24) And people can have all the aces in the world if you want you know? (43:29) Like, all of the points against them and still be resilient. (43:34) And so I guess Let
Scott Benner (43:36) me argue the other side. (43:37) When shit gets hard, I expect you to stand up. (43:40) I want you to. (43:41) I want that to be your answer whether it's easy for you or not because I think that's the only answer. (43:47) When a bully jumps on you and starts swinging, if you don't fight back, you're for sure gonna get your ass kicked.
Scott Benner (43:53) So you might get your ass kicked fighting back, but again, I say better going down swinging. (43:59) Right? (44:00) Like, you're not gonna have a chance the other way. (44:02) And there are gonna be people who are listening, like, well, listen. (44:04) I have, like, clinical depression.
Scott Benner (44:05) I can't do it. (44:06) I'm like, I'm no. (44:07) I'm not talking to you. (44:08) You know, I'm talking to everybody who just kinda folds up. (44:12) There's a moment in there, whether you realize it or not, where you you really could just decide, like, I'm gonna stand up and get hit in the face.
Scott Benner (44:18) I'm not gonna get kicked in the side. (44:20) And sometimes people don't do that. (44:23) And it's hard, and I understand. (44:24) Like, sometimes it's the way their minds work just don't lend to fighting. (44:28) Were talking about it last night.
Scott Benner (44:29) We what were we talking about last night? (44:31) The, Arden had a class. (44:32) They were talking oh, I don't know the name of the you're gonna know right away. (44:36) The guy put people in a room, had them push a buzzer. (44:39) They thought they were hurting people in the other room.
Scott Benner (44:41) What the hell was that called? (44:42) That study.
Dena (44:43) Oh, it's like a social psychology experiment, but I do not know the name of
Scott Benner (44:46) the researcher. (44:46) So yeah. (44:48) Like, we were talking about it last night, and we kinda went around the room. (44:52) What would you do if somebody put you on that button and you realized what was going on? (44:56) And Arden looked at like, she's like, dad wouldn't do it.
Scott Benner (45:00) Like, she's like, he just wouldn't. (45:02) He he'd say that's stupid. (45:03) I'm not doing that. (45:04) She's like, don't even know if dad would, like, go to the meeting. (45:06) And she's like, but if he was there and someone said it to him, he'd say, you.
Scott Benner (45:11) I'm not doing that. (45:12) And he'd stop. (45:13) Mhmm. (45:14) And then she kinda went to my wife and we were like, well, you're kind of a people pleaser, like, sometimes. (45:18) Like, maybe if you got into that situation and thought you were doing the right thing, you know, you might do it for a little while, but I think and we just went through our whole we started going, I don't know if other people did this.
Scott Benner (45:27) We went through our extended family, like, oh, I think uncle this would do it and, like, you know what I mean? (45:32) And, like Yeah. (45:32) And we found people in our lives that we think would gleefully have been like, do this. (45:37) They're pushing the button and some people who wouldn't and, you know, all different things. (45:41) So all that stuff about whoever it is you are, you know, when you're you need to be resilient because type one type one sucks.
Scott Benner (45:49) Like, I don't know what your first response is, but I know what your second one should be. (45:54) And I do think that having that second response puts you in a better position to maybe not be you know, find yourself on the ground getting kicked in the ribs. (46:03) So I don't know. (46:04) Yeah. (46:04) I went on for a while there.
Scott Benner (46:05) Anyway, please tell me one thing that no one would know that gives you chills, like, do chills, like, where you're just embarrassed. (46:12) I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Dena (46:14) Oh, alright. (46:15) And this is gonna take me a second.
Scott Benner (46:17) Yeah. (46:17) What happens when you're like, oh my god. (46:19) This is very embarrassing. (46:20) I wish this was not happening.
Dena (46:22) Like, what gives me the chills? (46:24) Is that what
Scott Benner (46:24) you're asking? (46:24) Not yeah. (46:25) But not good chills. (46:26) You understand where the phrase comes from. (46:27) Right?
Dena (46:28) Yeah. (46:28) Yeah. (46:28) Oh, yeah. (46:29) Yeah. (46:29) No.
Dena (46:29) But I'm I'm trying to, like, I'm
Scott Benner (46:32) trying give you an ear.
Dena (46:34) Okay. (46:35) Give me yours, and then I'll think about mine.
Scott Benner (46:36) Every time I hear the song Barracuda by heart and the music pauses and they yell Barracuda, I get douchebels. (46:46) I'm like, this is ridiculous. (46:50) And I'm not unaware that it's a good song. (46:52) It's the one part where it's and then the music stops and they yell barracuda. (46:56) I'm like, I feel like we could have done something different in that spot.
Scott Benner (46:59) But Mhmm. (47:00) Nothing that embarrasses you and, like, makes you upset for humanity?
Dena (47:05) It's like embarrassed for others. (47:07) Yeah. (47:07) I'm really Alright. (47:08) Gonna have to
Scott Benner (47:09) think about this. (47:09) We'll come back to it. (47:10) Don't worry about it.
Dena (47:11) Yeah. (47:11) No. (47:12) Now I'm like, I really wanna have a good answer, but I'm I'm
Scott Benner (47:15) I'm very judgmental about the harpsong Barracuda. (47:18) I just wanna say that. (47:19) And I had to sit through I had to sit through them live one time to see Black Crows. (47:25) And they they sang that damn song and almost ruined my evening. (47:31) Also, black girls were excellent live back before the brothers realized they hated each other.
Scott Benner (47:36) I just wanna say that too.
Dena (47:38) Okay.
Scott Benner (47:38) I'm sorry. (47:38) Okay. (47:39) When you tell me your kids are strong and they're resilient, what do you mean by that exactly?
Dena (47:45) I mean, I think that you you kind of nailed it when you said, I hope that there are kids who go down swinging and also figure out how to get back up.
Scott Benner (47:58) Mhmm.
Dena (48:00) You know?
Scott Benner (48:00) A little water off the duck's back too. (48:02) Right?
Dena (48:03) Yeah. (48:04) Yeah. (48:04) Yeah. (48:05) I do a little turtle with my hand and I say it just rolls off your back.
Scott Benner (48:08) Nice.
Dena (48:09) Yeah. (48:10) I don't I mean, I think I don't I agree with you. (48:13) I don't I don't think we know how we become resilient. (48:18) In fact, during COVID, I dug pretty deep too into, like, both research and also my own heart of, like, how are we gonna get through this? (48:26) Mhmm.
Dena (48:26) So, you know, I I don't it's sort of a entity that we don't fully understand. (48:32) So I hope to do it by, you know, like, showing them modeling and by also just, like, ugh, being there when they do fall down because of type one diabetes, they do so much.
Scott Benner (48:42) What did you come up with? (48:44) What did you come up with during COVID? (48:46) Because I'll tell came up with one.
Dena (48:48) Yeah. (48:48) I I go ahead.
Scott Benner (48:50) No. (48:50) I would just give me a half a second, then I wanna hear your thing. (48:53) I just went with, oh, we paused society. (48:57) Like, I I'm getting a break in the middle of my life is how it felt. (49:00) And I know that's because I didn't have to go to a job outside of the house or something like that.
Scott Benner (49:04) There's a lot oh my god. (49:05) There's a lot of privilege in that. (49:07) Sorry. (49:08) But it's it's the right thing to say there.
Dena (49:10) Gotcha. (49:11) Yeah. (49:11) Gotcha.
Scott Benner (49:14) I make a podcast, so I was pretty much like, oh, you know, I don't know how much different COVID was than my regular life because I don't get out of here enough to begin with. (49:22) Right? (49:23) But when everyone was in that same situation, like, you could kinda segment your brain the illness part, right, like, put that off to the side and say to yourself, well, like, I'm not old or particularly unhealthy. (49:34) I think I'm gonna be fine through this. (49:36) You know, I felt pretty comfortable about that.
Scott Benner (49:38) The truth is is we saved money for the first time in years because you don't realize all the things you're pissing money away on, like going to dinner or, like, little stuff like that that uses up more of your money than you think. (49:49) Right? (49:49) Yeah. (49:50) So, like, we're starting to save money. (49:51) And I'm like, oh my god.
Scott Benner (49:52) It's the Kelly. (49:53) I'm like, this COVID thing is gonna make us, like, solvent. (49:55) It's like, it's gonna be crazy. (49:57) And at the same time, like, life stopped. (50:00) Yeah.
Scott Benner (50:00) Like, people and I was like, oh, this is like a break from society. (50:04) It's like a break from the grind. (50:06) It went on too long. (50:07) Don't get me wrong. (50:08) But, like, in the beginning, I thought that.
Scott Benner (50:10) Now when it got long, then it got worrisome. (50:14) Because then you're like, oh my god. (50:16) Are they ever letting us get the hell out of here again? (50:18) You know, like, is this gonna go that way? (50:20) And but even to that, I said to myself, nah.
Scott Benner (50:23) It'll end eventually. (50:25) Yeah. (50:26) Like, just hang out and enjoy the break. (50:28) And my kids were around more. (50:30) Like, I found ways to look at it as, like I mean, it wasn't positive, but I tried to find the positive in it as much as I could.
Dena (50:36) Oh, look at you. (50:36) Sneaky, sneaky optimism. (50:39) I feel resilience there.
Scott Benner (50:40) Exactly. (50:41) No. (50:41) I mean, I Yeah. (50:42) I understand when people say that there's things about having type one diabetes they wouldn't give away. (50:47) I've had conversations with people who say like, you you give them the magic wand.
Scott Benner (50:51) You say, if I gave you a magic wand, would you make your diabetes go away? (50:54) Thinking everybody would say yes. (50:55) There are people who say no because they think it's made them what they are, where they identify with it at this point. (51:02) It's interesting. (51:03) But I'm sorry.
Scott Benner (51:03) During COVID, you
Dena (51:05) No. (51:06) I I I think all of this is very relevant and so interesting, and I think about it a lot for better or worse. (51:13) You know, I guess I'll answer two ways. (51:14) One, specific to diabetes, like, my husband and I often people say, like, oh, you know, you two are the best suited to do this for anyone, and we often roll our eyes. (51:25) And I often say, you know, you don't want to have to find out that you could do hard things Yeah.
Dena (51:31) Well Yeah. (51:32) Together. (51:32) Right? (51:32) Like, I don't wish that for any couple. (51:35) I don't want to have to put you to the test.
Dena (51:37) But, unfortunately, life happened, and, like, we were put to the test. (51:40) And I feel I feel happy and extremely grateful that I have a partner who, like, does hard shit with me really well.
Scott Benner (51:48) I don't know how to think about that part. (51:50) I still can't I'm getting older and I still don't know how to think about that part. (51:53) I'm adopted. (51:54) Right? (51:55) My adopted parents get divorced.
Scott Benner (51:57) I grew up really broke. (51:59) I think that all these things have a lot to do with how I get through life, and I'm happy about how I get through life. (52:04) But once in a while, like, you throw on, like, I don't know, an app and you're scrolling TikTok and you see someone whose life is so vapid and and devoid of any kind of friction whatsoever, and there is a part of you that's like, I maybe would I like to know what that feels like? (52:22) Like like, would I like to not have any context for the world? (52:26) Like, maybe that would be awesome for a day or a little while or something.
Scott Benner (52:30) But I think when I come down to it eventually, I think no. (52:34) I think I'd prefer to be me and have context than not, but I also don't know what it's like to live unencumbered like that. (52:42) Like, maybe it's awesome. (52:44) You know what I mean? (52:45) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (52:45) Yeah. (52:46) Anyway. (52:47) Yeah. (52:47) Well,
Dena (52:48) I'll I'll leave you with my last response to to
Scott Benner (52:51) Yeah. (52:51) Please.
Dena (52:51) Resilience that I that I did draw on honestly. (52:54) And, yeah, full disclosure. (52:56) Like, I read the research. (52:57) I was like, what are we gonna do? (52:58) Mhmm.
Dena (53:00) For kids, they I were I mostly work with kids, but I think it kind of relates to diabetes. (53:04) And, honestly, it relates to the podcast is what the research showed in kids is there was sort of this, like, secret sauce for some kids, especially during horrible catastrophes. (53:17) So, you know, hurricane Katrina, probably COVID, although it was happening live time when I was reading this stuff. (53:23) And there was one researcher named Ann Masten, and she came up with the term ordinary magic. (53:30) And, essentially, kids who experience horrible, horrible things, trauma, tragedy, if they had one adult who just sort of held them at the center of their world, she called it ordinary magic.
Dena (53:43) It sort of transcended tragedy, or it helped them plant the seeds of what you're asking. (53:48) What is resilience? (53:49) How do we define it? (53:50) Mhmm. (53:50) The truth is, like, I don't know.
Dena (53:51) I don't feel like I have a very good answer for you.
Scott Benner (53:53) Yeah.
Dena (53:53) But I do know that holding on to the idea that, like, if you make a difference in one little person's life and be that person, it does matter. (54:02) And I know it sounds, yeah, a little douche douche
Scott Benner (54:04) I know. (54:05) I didn't get I liked it. (54:06) Like so hold hold them. (54:08) Yeah. (54:08) I'll let you know what's douchey.
Scott Benner (54:09) And right now, it's barracuda. (54:11) Okay? (54:11) It's my god. (54:13) The the music just stops and they yell barracuda. (54:16) Psychologically, is it because the music gets quiet and I feel like it's turn like, maybe I feel exposed during that.
Scott Benner (54:23) I wonder. (54:23) That's not for now. (54:25) Hold a young person at the center of how did you put that?
Dena (54:29) Oh, I don't know. (54:31) I don't like to have to quote it again. (54:32) Just sort of like holding a young person at the center of of your world, making them feel the most important or just playing with them on the floor, getting into their little world, and helping them feel seen when all these terrible things are happening around them.
Scott Benner (54:47) Protected. (54:49) Yeah. (54:49) A sense of home. (54:51) There's a protector there. (54:52) Somebody's got your back.
Scott Benner (54:53) That whole feeling like you if an adult helps a child feel that way, what? (54:58) What happens for them?
Dena (54:59) They are more likely to turn out okay.
Scott Benner (55:03) Really? (55:04) Yeah. (55:05) Opposite aces list.
Dena (55:07) Exactly.
Scott Benner (55:08) Yeah.
Dena (55:09) That's correct.
Scott Benner (55:10) Is there that? (55:11) Oh.
Dena (55:11) Yeah. (55:11) There is that.
Scott Benner (55:13) How come I've never wondered that?
Dena (55:15) No. (55:15) It it is. (55:15) It's well, protective factors, I guess, is what we would say.
Scott Benner (55:18) Okay.
Dena (55:19) But they there's some cool new terminology for it too. (55:23) And I'm not it's not coming to my mind right now.
Scott Benner (55:25) I'll figure it out. (55:26) I have a computer. (55:27) I I can Yeah.
Dena (55:28) But, I mean, the protective factors. (55:29) But one of them is just this ordinary magic. (55:32) And I feel like, honestly, at the risk of sounding kind of cheesy, it's it's like why I'm here. (55:37) It's why I found your podcast. (55:39) It's because I think if you sort of touch one person who then helps one kid, you know, seen or better or that they can go down swinging, like you said, I I think we've done right.
Dena (55:50) You know, I'm I'm also a psychologist, so I I was trained to think that too, but I think it's how I always thought about the world.
Scott Benner (55:56) Tell me about what what about the podcast is attractive to you?
Dena (55:59) Just the feeling of, like, there's other people out there who get this. (56:03) Yeah. (56:04) There's other people out there who get me. (56:06) I just listened to one of your little cute episodes about, like, had a bowl of fruit meal. (56:10) Mhmm.
Dena (56:10) And I was like, ugh. (56:12) It just feels like, yeah. (56:13) You're speaking my language. (56:14) I don't have to explain myself. (56:16) So there's just a relief in having a community that understands our experience, especially as parents.
Scott Benner (56:22) Okay. (56:22) Is there something about how I do it or the way the conversations go that are particularly attractive to you? (56:29) Or are you in one of those situations where you don't actually like me a lot, but you like the content? (56:34) Or, like, does that make sense? (56:35) Because there are people who really don't like me that still listen to the podcast, which I find I think it's because I bring together the people they're interested in listening to.
Scott Benner (56:43) But, like, I mean, the is it your thing? (56:45) Like, would I be your thing if this was a podcast about something else? (56:49) Or you see what I'm asking?
Dena (56:51) I like you, Scott. (56:52) That's what you're asking.
Scott Benner (56:53) Oh, okay. (56:54) That's not what I was asking, but that's okay. (56:56) Good.
Dena (56:56) Keep going. (56:56) No. (56:57) I love the way this is going now. (56:58) Your style. (57:00) I like the conversations.
Dena (57:01) I wish I had more time. (57:02) Is genuinely how I feel. (57:04) Like, I I don't have time to listen to all the things I'd like to listen to.
Scott Benner (57:07) Sure.
Dena (57:07) And I also experience a little bit of burnout sometimes with, like, the con with just the content in general. (57:13) Like, sometimes I need my diabetes info, and I need to, like, get it, and I need to get out. (57:18) Mhmm. (57:18) You know? (57:18) Like, I I think that's part of my experience is I'm gonna, like, lean in.
Dena (57:22) I actually just was talking to a girlfriend on my way to meet with you, and she said, you never talk publicly that day. (57:27) You know, we're not the family that, like, does the walk and puts up all the Facebook things. (57:31) Like, we just started again, I just kinda follow my kids' lead on that. (57:35) And so I don't, like, wave my diabetes flag my diabetes mommy flag around a lot.
Scott Benner (57:40) Right.
Dena (57:40) And when I do, it takes a lot of energy. (57:42) It's hiring. (57:43) So I think I save my podcast, my my juice box moments for, like, my sort of private, like, I need to fill my cup. (57:50) I need to get my info. (57:51) My husband does not listen.
Dena (57:53) He listened to a few episodes because I've, like, hunted them his way. (57:56) Yeah. (57:56) He gets really oversaturated really fast. (57:59) And so I think, you know, I like sort of, like, the quick tips and tricks and things that I can stash away because I use them all the freaking time. (58:05) Like, all the time.
Scott Benner (58:06) Good. (58:07) Good.
Dena (58:07) And then I also have to, like, you know, consume with care too.
Scott Benner (58:12) In another episode that you haven't heard yet, but people listening may have just heard recently, I talked about being at a public event well, private event, excuse me, where I was speaking to about 650 people. (58:24) And I was telling I was responding to a question, telling an emotional story, and somehow, one of the people in the audience has sympathetic God, I forget what they call it now. (58:37) Anyway, he gets chest pains and passes out if he gets filled with too much empathy. (58:43) Syncope. (58:44) Or no, not syncope.
Scott Benner (58:45) There's a word they used. (58:46) I can't remember what it was. (58:47) Anyway, I'm telling a story and I made a guy pass out. (58:52) Just yeah. (58:52) So Oh.
Scott Benner (58:53) Yeah. (58:54) So it was, like, you know, he was okay. (58:56) Like, he kinda lost it for a second, came back. (58:58) They were able to help him. (59:00) It's a thing they know happens to he knows happens to him.
Scott Benner (59:02) He did you know, EMS came but he didn't leave the premises, like, the whole thing. (59:06) That's not the point of the story. (59:08) The that was just enough for context for you. (59:10) The story is this. (59:12) This happens while I'm speaking.
Scott Benner (59:14) Like, I see motion out ahead of me that's on I don't know how to put it. (59:18) If you've ever been up on stage, you know, like, the you don't actually look at anybody. (59:22) Usually, pick a couple of people and look them in the face if you're talking. (59:26) I happen to be in a situation where I was lit, so you really can't see anything but silhouettes. (59:31) And one of the silhouettes moved oddly.
Scott Benner (59:34) Uh-oh. (59:34) And I knew it. (59:35) Like, I like, your brain's like, that wasn't right. (59:38) Like, the motion wasn't right. (59:40) And I I turned my head in time to hear somebody said, we need help.
Dena (59:44) Great.
Scott Benner (59:44) And so it all kinda devolves from there the way you would expect. (59:48) You know, at first, people are calm, then you see what's going on. (59:51) Some people rush over to help, trying to get him out of the room to help him privately, but he can't make it. (59:57) That makes them dump the 650 people out of the room into the into the hall. (1:00:02) And so now we're out there mulling around.
Scott Benner (1:00:04) You know, EMS comes in with a gurney. (1:00:06) It's all kinda scary and everything. (1:00:08) People are, you know, are experiencing this altogether. (1:00:12) And ten minutes later, they take him away. (1:00:14) And like I said, he didn't even leave the premises.
Scott Benner (1:00:16) He was fine. (1:00:17) And they move everybody else back into the room. (1:00:20) And I go to the person running it, and I go, you know, if you get my mic back on, I can keep going. (1:00:26) And she looked at me like I was a sociopath. (1:00:31) And I thought, oh my god, what's happening?
Scott Benner (1:00:34) And she goes, no. (1:00:35) We're gonna give everybody the hour off. (1:00:37) You know, you can do your other talk later in the day, but we're cutting this one short. (1:00:40) And I and, you know, these people need time to process. (1:00:45) And I was like, no, they don't.
Scott Benner (1:00:46) Just tell them to sit the down and we'll keep going. (1:00:48) Like, it'll be fine. (1:00:49) Like, you know and I realized in that moment, I'm not a sociopath, at least not for that reason, if I am. (1:00:57) But I but what I am is somebody who's been through so much that this was not upsetting to me. (1:01:02) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (1:01:02) I was like, oh, we dealt with it. (1:01:04) He's okay. (1:01:05) Let's keep going. (1:01:07) Yeah. (1:01:07) And I really, for a half a second, looked out in the room and I thought, I wish I could talk to all these people right now.
Scott Benner (1:01:13) Like, I wanna know how many of them were like, yeah. (1:01:16) Let's get to lunch so I can process this.
Dena (1:01:19) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (1:01:20) And how many of them were like, yo. (1:01:22) Let's keep going. (1:01:23) You know, like like, okay, he's good. (1:01:25) Like, life moves on. (1:01:27) Let's go.
Scott Benner (1:01:28) And I guess I'm answering my own question from earlier because I like that about myself. (1:01:33) Like, I could have sat back down and just kept going. (1:01:36) Like, this was not nearly the this doesn't even, like, make my list of bad things that's happened to me. (1:01:42) You you know what I mean? (1:01:43) And Totally.
Scott Benner (1:01:45) Yeah. (1:01:45) Yeah. (1:01:45) Yeah. (1:01:45) So, anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. (1:01:48) But that's that's how I judged your husband, and then I went to this.
Scott Benner (1:01:50) I feel like your husband would have been like, a lot has happened here. (1:01:53) We should take a break and then have lunch. (1:01:55) Is he that person, or am I unfairly shining this light on him?
Dena (1:02:00) I think that it's more he he really needs to he's really good at compartmentalizing, and I suck at it. (1:02:07) Oh, And so so he, like, he wants to, like, open the diabetes box, close the diabetes box. (1:02:13) And then yeah. (1:02:13) Then he wants to, like, go have lunch.
Scott Benner (1:02:15) Is he protecting himself, you think?
Dena (1:02:17) I think, yeah. (1:02:18) Definitely. (1:02:19) Yeah. (1:02:19) Oh, yeah. (1:02:20) It's too much.
Dena (1:02:20) He's so he's just yeah. (1:02:22) He's a deeply feeling guy, and you talk about it all the time. (1:02:25) And also gets I don't know. (1:02:26) Takes over all the little corners if you let it.
Scott Benner (1:02:28) Yeah.
Dena (1:02:29) So I think it's also protective. (1:02:30) You know?
Scott Benner (1:02:31) Keep he's keeping it from being his entire life and maybe keeping himself from feeling that both of his kids were diagnosed with type one diabetes thirty days apart and all the autoimmunes on his side of the family. (1:02:43) Right? (1:02:43) I mean, you've thought about that before. (1:02:44) Right? (1:02:45) It's his fault, not yours.
Scott Benner (1:02:46) Of course. (1:02:46) I understand. (1:02:46) Well All I know is I have seen stuff and lived through it and pressed on to the point where what I just described you, which is me on stage with lights in my face with 650 people hanging on what I'm saying. (1:03:04) And then this happens in the middle of the thing. (1:03:06) And I just thought, like, alright.
Scott Benner (1:03:08) Well, let's keep going. (1:03:09) And I wondered after I realized that about myself, wondered how many people would judge me as callous. (1:03:15) Do you know what I mean? (1:03:16) But, like, in the end, that they couldn't keep going, I actually thought to myself, like, this is some white people right here. (1:03:21) Just sit back down.
Scott Benner (1:03:23) We're okay. (1:03:23) He's fine. (1:03:24) They just told you he's fine. (1:03:25) Keep going. (1:03:26) Like, be an adult.
Scott Benner (1:03:27) Like, process it and let's go. (1:03:28) But and by way, I wanna say this too in case they're listening. (1:03:31) I don't think they did anything wrong. (1:03:33) I understand what they did. (1:03:34) And from a professional standpoint, I probably would have made the same decision.
Scott Benner (1:03:38) Like, I just think that, like, talking about it and breaking it down like this, like, those were my internal thoughts. (1:03:44) My internal thoughts were like, I can keep going. (1:03:47) Anyway, not the problem.
Dena (1:03:49) There you go. (1:03:50) Yeah. (1:03:50) That's the definition though. (1:03:51) Right? (1:03:52) The definition is like and you're right.
Dena (1:03:53) Some people can't. (1:03:55) Right. (1:03:55) And I don't always believe it's because that they've of of their life experience. (1:04:00) I think sometimes it's like an inside factor that we don't even really understand very well. (1:04:05) Like, why are you a guy who can keep going?
Dena (1:04:07) There's also a guy who would jump off the stage and go try to rescue that person even though you have no business doing that. (1:04:11) Yeah. (1:04:12) Right? (1:04:12) Or that would be overly invested in that person's story and now have them on the podcast. (1:04:16) And, like, there's lots of different ways to respond to that type of adversity, and you're right.
Dena (1:04:21) Like, I I you just defined it for yourself. (1:04:23) Like, I'm the guy who can just keep going. (1:04:25) And it's not because you don't care or because but you were told, like, he's okay. (1:04:29) So we're gonna just okay. (1:04:30) We're gonna move on.
Scott Benner (1:04:30) I assessed it very quickly. (1:04:32) I turned to the woman next to me who I knew knew him and I said, does he have type one diabetes? (1:04:36) And she said, no. (1:04:37) And I said, well, then I ain't gonna be much help.
Dena (1:04:40) I have no business helping.
Scott Benner (1:04:41) I mean, if that guy's blood sugar is low, y'all should back up. (1:04:44) I know what to do. (1:04:45) Right? (1:04:45) Like but if that's not the case, then I'm not valuable here. (1:04:49) And Yep.
Scott Benner (1:04:50) There are enough people around him that could help him keep from hurting himself or whatever, which it didn't look like it was gonna happen anyway. (1:04:56) And Yep. (1:04:56) Somebody had already gone for e like like, somebody had called for EMS. (1:05:00) Like, I was like, I should get out of the way. (1:05:03) Like, I I I I at one point, I actually thought this was a private situation.
Scott Benner (1:05:07) I shouldn't even be looking at this. (1:05:09) And, you know, once somebody had him, I walked out of the room. (1:05:12) Like, I I started leaving the room as they were saying, we should all go I was like, yeah, no kidding. (1:05:16) We shouldn't be gawking while this is happening to him. (1:05:18) Yeah.
Scott Benner (1:05:19) You
Dena (1:05:19) know? (1:05:19) Right. (1:05:20) Also very adaptive to just walk away. (1:05:22) Right? (1:05:22) Let people whose job it is to take care of him take care of him.
Scott Benner (1:05:24) Five seconds later, I was out in the hall and some lady was like, oh my god, you were like, I'm so sorry. (1:05:29) Your thing got cut short. (1:05:30) And and she started it's funny how quickly it pivoted because this lovely woman got me outside and she's like, I'm so sorry. (1:05:37) I'm not gonna get to hear the rest of what you have to say. (1:05:40) She said, you're such an eloquent speaker.
Scott Benner (1:05:43) And I, right away, like, I smiled and said, thank you. (1:05:46) But ask people who know me privately. (1:05:49) I've now been talking about that for a week because I don't believe myself to be an eloquent speaker. (1:05:53) When she said it to me, I was like, oh, god. (1:05:57) Like, I I I can't even begin to tell you what I what, like, the the rabbit hole my head went down.
Scott Benner (1:06:03) Like, I was like, I'm not an eloquent speaker. (1:06:05) What does that say about her? (1:06:05) What does it say about me? (1:06:07) Like, what is it like, how is she taking me? (1:06:09) Like, well, how am I like, I why would she think that of me?
Scott Benner (1:06:12) Like, self doubt inside about that. (1:06:14) You should and Cool. (1:06:16) Please, he was still on the floor, and I was in I was already moving on to, like, thought thing. (1:06:23) So anyway, so you like the podcast because it's, like, sameness. (1:06:28) You can get some information from it.
Scott Benner (1:06:29) You can walk away from it when you need to, but it's there when you come back. (1:06:33) Am I am I about getting this right?
Dena (1:06:35) Yeah. (1:06:35) Okay.
Scott Benner (1:06:36) And I'm I I'm somehow entertaining to you even though you're on the West Coast. (1:06:41) The podcast is huge in California. (1:06:43) And yet, I don't, like, think I'm always interested that about that because I do have as much as I don't like to think of people as having, like, regional differences, I realize that that's actually true. (1:06:56) I just don't like thinking about people that way. (1:06:58) I prefer to think we're all kind of the same.
Scott Benner (1:07:01) But I get that like, I've heard people say that, like, I'm coarse or they call me East Coast or something like that. (1:07:08) Yeah. (1:07:09) You know? (1:07:10) And I don't know what that means.
Dena (1:07:12) Yeah. (1:07:12) Well, that's a whole subculture. (1:07:15) I'm I am from from Colorado. (1:07:17) I went to school on the East Coast and have stayed. (1:07:19) I'm actually here.
Dena (1:07:20) I'm here on your coast.
Scott Benner (1:07:21) Oh. (1:07:21) Oh, so you have both experiences?
Dena (1:07:24) Yeah. (1:07:24) But I totally oh, yeah. (1:07:25) I'll I'll when I went to college, people would say, well, like, where are you really from? (1:07:29) Like, is that, like like, you said you're from Denver, but, like, what's your address?
Scott Benner (1:07:34) Nobody's really from Denver. (1:07:36) That's a mountain, isn't Yeah.
Dena (1:07:38) Exactly. (1:07:38) Or or right. (1:07:39) And because if you're from Boston, like, you're really not from Boston. (1:07:41) Right? (1:07:42) You're from Newton or Needham or right?
Dena (1:07:43) Like, no one's really from Boston.
Scott Benner (1:07:45) Right.
Dena (1:07:46) So yeah. (1:07:47) I think there are some some geographic stereotypes for sure.
Scott Benner (1:07:52) Speaking of sneaky things, I I love the way you just slipped in to make sure we knew you went to a good school in in Massachusetts. (1:07:58) That was nice.
Dena (1:07:58) There's a lot of schools in Massachusetts. (1:08:01) Watch it.
Scott Benner (1:08:02) I sniffed this right out. (1:08:03) I know what you're doing. (1:08:04) Don't you worry.
Dena (1:08:06) Good job. (1:08:07) Scott, I am so sorry that I'm gonna have to hang up, but I have to get back to my office for some
Scott Benner (1:08:13) crazy stuff. (1:08:14) Freaking people and their jobs. (1:08:15) I'm so sorry.
Dena (1:08:16) Well, you know, I gotta I gotta get back. (1:08:19) Someone's gotta bring home the bacon.
Scott Benner (1:08:20) I'll say thank you very much for doing this. (1:08:22) I thought this is a really interesting conversation. (1:08:24) I appreciate it very much. (1:08:25) I hope you enjoyed it as well.
Dena (1:08:27) I really did, and I I am extremely grateful. (1:08:30) So thank you.
Scott Benner (1:08:31) Thank you
Dena (1:08:31) so much. (1:08:31) No.
Scott Benner (1:08:32) You're you're terrific. (1:08:33) I'm gonna hit pause. (1:08:33) Just give me two seconds, and I'll let you go. (1:08:35) Thank you. (1:08:42) Are you tired of getting a rash from your CGM adhesive?
Scott Benner (1:08:45) Give the Eversense three sixty five a try. (1:08:48) Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. (1:08:51) Beautiful silicone that they use. (1:08:53) It changes every day. (1:08:54) Keeps it fresh.
Scott Benner (1:08:55) Not only that, you only have to change the sensor once a year. (1:08:58) So, I mean, that's better. (1:09:01) Head now to tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox and check out today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care. (1:09:08) I think you're gonna find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the Tandem Mobi system. (1:09:16) Arden has been getting her diabetes supplies from US Med for three years.
Scott Benner (1:09:20) You can as well. (1:09:22) Usmed.com/juicebox or Paul, (888) 721-1514. (1:09:29) My thanks to US Med for sponsoring this episode and for being longtime sponsors of the Juice Box Podcast. (1:09:35) There are links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to US Med and all of the sponsors. (1:09:45) As the holidays approach, I wanna thank all of my good friends for coming back to the Juice Box Podcast over and over again.
Scott Benner (1:09:52) It means the world to me. (1:09:53) It's the greatest gift you could give me. (1:09:55) Thank you so very much. (1:09:57) Unless, of course, you wanna share the show with someone else, then that would be an awesome gift too or a five star review. (1:10:01) I don't know.
Scott Benner (1:10:02) You don't really owe me a gift, but, I mean, if you're looking for something to do. (1:10:05) You know, subscribe and follow, tell a friend, etcetera. (1:10:07) Thank you. (1:10:08) Merry Christmas. (1:10:09) Oh my, did I get lucky.
Scott Benner (1:10:11) The Celebrity Cruise Line reached out to me and said, how would you like to come on a cruise before your Juice Cruise so you can get a real good look at the Celebrity Beyond cruise ship and share some video with your listeners? (1:10:25) I said, thank you. (1:10:28) So that's where I might be right now. (1:10:30) If it's December, let me actually find a date for you. (1:10:33) Not a 100% sure.
Scott Benner (1:10:34) I think I'm going in December right before Christmas. (1:10:38) Like, you know, like, I don't know, like, the December. (1:10:41) I'm sorry. (1:10:42) I know this isn't much of a that. (1:10:43) But if you wanna see video from me on the cruise ship, my wife and I are gonna head out and really check it out to see what it's all about to grab some great video for you.
Scott Benner (1:10:52) Get it up on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook so you can see what you'd be getting if you came along on Juice Cruise 2026, which, of course, leaves from Miami on 06/21/2026. (1:11:04) We're gonna be going to Coco Cay in The Bahamas, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Saint Kitts And Nevis. (1:11:09) Do not miss it. (1:11:09) It's a great opportunity to meet other people living with type one diabetes to form friendships, to learn things, and just swap stories. (1:11:17) It's a relaxing vacation with a bunch of people who get what your life is like.
Scott Benner (1:11:22) And trust me, there's a lot of value in that. (1:11:24) Juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise. (1:11:28) Come check it out and go find my socials to see what that ship looks like. (1:11:32) There's also a video at my link that's, kind of a ship tour with the celebrity beyond. (1:11:37) And let me tell you something.
Scott Benner (1:11:38) If this ship is a tenth as nice as this video is, I am in for a great time, and so are you. (1:11:45) Juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise. (1:11:48) Come along. (1:11:50) Have a podcast? (1:11:51) Want it to sound fantastic?
Scott Benner (1:11:52) Wrongwayrecording.com.
Please support the sponsors
The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!
