#1693 After Dark: Mod Podge
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Stacey shares nearly 30 years with type 1, family addiction, loss, alcohol recovery, weed, mushrooms, gastroparesis, and finding a small, quiet life she actually wants.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox podcast.
Stacey 0:16
Well, I'm Stacey. I've been diabetic for almost 30 years, and I'm from Texas,
Scott Benner 0:24
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Stacey 1:47
Well, I'm Stacey. I've been diabetic for almost 30 years, and I'm from Texas,
Scott Benner 1:53
Texas, 30 years Texas. How old are you? Stacey? I am 39 Okay, so you were nine when you were diagnosed? Yes, the simple math is the easiest math any other sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, other people with type one diabetes in your family?
Stacey 2:11
Yep, my older sister was type one. She was diagnosed when she was nine as well. And then eight years later, I was diagnosed and type two and pre diabetes like runs rampant in my family, my dad, my grandma and grandpa, two aunts that were died type two. My uncle's type two. I have three cousins that are type two or pre diabetic. Okay, that's that's just the diabetes of my
Scott Benner 2:38
family. That's just the type we'll find out about the rest on my dad's side. I don't know
Unknown Speaker 2:41
about my mom's side. We'll get
Scott Benner 2:43
to whatever else is there that you know about. But I have to say you said your sister was type one. So either somebody came up with a cure and gave it to your sister, your sister's not with us any
Stacey 2:52
longer, which is that she's not with us any longer. She passed away when she was 30.
Scott Benner 2:56
She was 30 after having diabetes for 21 years. Ish, Yes, yep. Was it from type one? Yeah? Really, okay,
Stacey 3:04
yeah, she wasn't in taking great care of herself. Got sick and brought it to the hospital. She was in DKA, and just never got out of DKA,
Scott Benner 3:14
basically, yeah, so if she was 30 at that point, that made you like 21 Do you know each other well? Yeah. I mean, like, friendly. You spoke frequently. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. And you had had diabetes for a while at that point, yeah. So did you, the two of you, ever speak about your type one, or was that not a thing we talked about?
Stacey 3:38
Oh no, we wouldn't really talk about it. It was just, like, it was just normal for our family to have, like we used to sit down at the dinner table, Benner would be taking our shots, doing our blood sugar, and it's just like, normal. So we never really, like, talked about it. Just, it just existed. I'm not sure we didn't really talk about it, but it was just there. No, I mean,
Scott Benner 3:59
it's a pretty big age difference, too. So I was, you know, like, once you're adults, she's 18, or, you know,
Stacey 4:06
yeah, when I, when I was diabetic, when I, when I became diabetic, she was, what, like, 1718, yeah. And so we only lived together for a year or two before she moved out.
Scott Benner 4:16
After that, that's what I was getting at. Now, yeah, was there something, I mean, I hate to say this, but I'm looking at your notes here. Your mom passed as well. When? When was that?
Stacey 4:27
That was when I was 16. So she was
Scott Benner 4:31
46 she was 46 What did she die from? The
Stacey 4:34
official diagnosis was Moya. Moya, she was having like strokes, and then she went to she was having surgery for it, and then basically had another stroke in surgery and couldn't
Scott Benner 4:47
recover from it. Oh, my God. At first I thought you were like, my brain was like, wait, I think that's a seafood dish. Yeah, that would be wrong to say, because we're seven minutes into a conversation so far, everyone that you love is.
Stacey 5:00
Gone. Yeah, the females in my family, we're not, we don't have good luck.
Unknown Speaker 5:05
Does that scare you? Yes, and no,
Stacey 5:07
I always thought I was gonna die when I was there by the time I was 30. So now that I'm 39 I'm happy for as long that I've survived this long, yeah, and technology and things are just getting better. So
Scott Benner 5:22
what made you think 30? Was it because your sister passed the 30? Or did that number just getting
Stacey 5:27
your No, I since I was like, since I was diagnosed? Oh, you know, they were back in the 90s. It wasn't a good they said, you know, later in life you're going to have complications. You do this that, oh, there's going to be a cure in five years. But you're like, I still knew the complications of
Scott Benner 5:45
everything. Do you think it's possible, Stacey, that the biggest mistake the medical community has made is telling people, don't worry, there'll be a cure soon? Oh, yeah, yeah, tell people what that did to you. I
Stacey 5:57
felt like I could do whatever I wanted because it'll be okay in a couple years. Yeah, was almost I'm invincible, that whatever happens to you is not gonna happen to me. So no
Scott Benner 6:07
different than when people talk about smoking or something, like, I'm not gonna get lung cancer, that happens to other people, like, I'm invincible, nothing's gonna happen to me. Besides every doctor I've spoken to has told me that this is gonna be over soon. They've almost got it all worked out. And so then that gives you the idea that you don't need to take care of yourself, right? Because, oh, yeah, what's the effort for if it's just going to be gone? Do you think your sister, she I know she's gone, and we don't want to speak for it, but do you think she shared that experience,
Stacey 6:34
definitely, and she, at one point, thought she could control her type one by diet and exercise.
Speaker 1 6:43
Oh, how'd that happen? You know, she
Stacey 6:46
just read about it and tried it and didn't work. No kidding, yeah, that was shortly before she passed away, about a year or two before that, but she wasn't ever in the greatest control. Do
Scott Benner 6:59
you have any idea why, what her situation, her story was?
Stacey 7:03
Well, we didn't have the greatest support from our parents. We did, but they didn't help us figure out carb count, or because when we started, we were on mph and regular. So it's like we didn't really count carbs. We take four units at dinner every every day your blood sugar is this, then add two units. And so we didn't know about car penalty and back then. And then she just grew up with it like that. And then, when I got diabetes, I went to diabetic camp, so I learned all the right
Scott Benner 7:36
things. You heard from people other ways. She was not interested in hearing that from you. Oh no. Tell me what it means that your parents were supportive, but not supportive. What does that mean?
Stacey 7:46
Well, like, if I ever had a problem, they were there, but I was hard headed. They'd be like, Oh, how's your sugars? Oh, it's fine. Okay, good. They weren't like, and I would go to the doctor. My a 1c, is 1213, they're not making the connections, like, there's something wrong. If your blush, if your a one season is high, they weren't worried when I wasn't taking care of myself. They were but they weren't on top of me. Like,
Scott Benner 8:10
did they know you weren't though? Like, I'm asking, like, did they see basal at 12, a, 1c, and they thought, that's not
Stacey 8:16
good, but that's not Yeah, but they weren't on my ass about anything, right? And then they asked
Scott Benner 8:21
you how everything and you said, everything's good. And then that was that they
Stacey 8:24
didn't talk to you about it, yeah. And then, you know, I end up in DKA, and it starts all
Scott Benner 8:29
over. How frequently do you think you've been in DKA in your life, in
Stacey 8:33
my life, at least 10. At least 10 times or so, at least Yeah.
Scott Benner 8:39
Do you believe, going back to your parents, what do you think the reasoning is behind their lack of involvement? I mean, were you like harsh to them and it scared them off? Or do you think they didn't understand? They
Stacey 8:52
didn't know any better. Their parenting style was not laid back, but not on your ass about everything, but they just didn't know anybody you know. The doctor said, you do this, this, this, and it'll be fine. They went with that, and you're going to be fine.
Scott Benner 9:08
And even though you weren't fine at the testing phase, that didn't prompt anybody to do anything differently. No, no. So in your notes here, it talks about alcoholism and addiction. Is that for you or for other people in your family, myself and my family so you grew up with addicts or drinkers.
Stacey 9:29
My mom was an alcoholic. It got really bad around my diagnosis, actually, in fourth grade. That's when, like I started affecting our lives. She was an alcoholic. Parents got divorced. She went to rehab multiple times, and then my brother became a heroin addict. Okay, do you remember the Plano heroin epidemic in Texas? No, I don't. Back in the 90s. No, tell me about it. There's a whole heroin epidemic going on back in the 90s. Was in Plano, I was on MTV and stuff like that, in the news, and he was part of that. He would sit there and watch TV be like, Oh, that's my friend. That's my buddy. That's, you know, he was surprised, like he didn't see himself on the TV. So he went to rehab that had to move into my grandparents
Scott Benner 10:17
How old was he when that when he had to move to your grandparents house.
Stacey 10:21
He was a senior. And were you how old? Probably like 1112, Oh, you were. You're
Scott Benner 10:26
younger than him as well. Are you the youngest? I'm the baby. Okay, yeah. So there's an older sister and older brother as that is, or more, and another older sister, older than the one we talked about, who passed No.
Stacey 10:38
So it's me, and then Stephanie, she's six. She's four years older than me. Seth is six years older than me, and Sarah is eight years older than me. And Sarah's one that passed. Got
Scott Benner 10:49
it okay. Well, are you using heroin at that time? Or, oh, no, have you ever, never.
Stacey 10:55
I will never, I will never try it, because I already know if I try it, I like it, and it's not gonna end good.
Scott Benner 11:01
Do you feel like your family has an addictive personality? Definitely, both mom and dad side family. Okay, so drinking daily? Mom,
Stacey 11:10
yeah. Me, eventually, not daily, but it was getting close. Yeah. By the time I was 21 I was going to AA and say, and I had a drinking problem.
Scott Benner 11:23
Wow. Fast forward it. When did you start drinking? How old were you? I was 16. Yeah. Who gave it to you? Do you remember first time I
Stacey 11:31
really remember drinking and getting like drunk was at a New Year's Eve party, just some friends from school, and I had a friend from diabetic camp with me, and that's when I started smoking cigs, even though the day before, and I would always say I would never smoke. I'm never gonna get smoked six because, you know, my parents do that, and that's just, it's not good for you. Get drunk. Try it, and I'm a smoker now. 16 is when I started
Scott Benner 11:57
drinking and smoking. Yeah, did you pick weed up at some point.
Stacey 12:00
Yeah, my probably, like, when I was like, 17,
Scott Benner 12:04
next year, board, 12 months, 12 months of that, and now we're gonna upgrade a little bit. Yeah, lunch
Stacey 12:09
break got kind of boring, so
Scott Benner 12:13
at school, so now it's drinking cigarettes, weed. By this, by 17, you're still in high school. By 21 you're an AA saying, I need help. How did that go? Like, where are you with with drinking?
Stacey 12:25
I haven't drank in almost 16 years.
Scott Benner 12:28
That's awesome. Good for you. Yeah. Do we smoke weed? Yes, on the daily you're a daily weed smoker. Yes, gotcha. I'm all about the psychedelics, mushrooms, Shrooms, yes. What else? Take an
Stacey 12:41
acid a couple times. That's you got to be in the right place at the right time for acid, but definitely shrooms in ayahuasca and stuff like that. That's just that's too much for me. I don't want to be throwing up. You're
Scott Benner 12:54
not looking to poop and throw up. No. Gotcha. No. Would you call the mushrooms recreational or spiritual. How do you think about them both?
Stacey 13:04
It depends on what your intention is when you take them, how frequently I haven't had any in like, a year or so, okay, I just haven't felt the need for them or a certain situation or wanted them. But then other other times, it's, you know, once, twice a month, or
Scott Benner 13:21
what's the feeling that makes them necessary? Those are your words. So what happens to you where you go? It's necessary now for me to do this when
Stacey 13:28
I'm not in a good place, or when I'm trying to figure out something that's going on in my life, or when I'm going to a freaking concert, concerts on streams.
Speaker 1 13:40
I always suggest, what does it do for you? It makes you
Scott Benner 13:44
know that everything's going to be okay. Okay, so now we're getting to it. So, yeah, what wouldn't be okay at a concert? That the mushrooms help you feel like is going to be okay? Well,
Stacey 13:55
at the concert, it makes it just the like the visuals. That's where the recreation part comes. Is when I take them at concerts and stuff. Even though I still have experiences at concerts on them, it's more for recreation. Then I'll take them at home for spiritual and, you know, take them by myself and I'm have a trip on my by myself and learn things. And, yeah,
Scott Benner 14:20
are you anxious? Yes, yeah. Does the weed help with anxiety? Oh, yes, that what you're using it for, mostly, mostly, yeah. Does it stop you from living like you have a job?
Stacey 14:29
I am a professional cat sitter.
Scott Benner 14:33
That's nice. Do you do that at other people's house, or do they bring it to you? I go to other people's houses. Yeah. Are you recording for someone else's house right now?
Stacey 14:41
No, I'm at my dad's Okay.
Scott Benner 14:45
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Stacey 16:59
I was working for my dad. He owned his own restaurant. I was a GM there, and he shut down the restaurant two years ago, and I just haven't really gotten a job since I did like Uber and stuff. I've tried a couple jobs, but I have complications from diabetes. I'm not in the greatest health with my mental health and physical health, it's hard to
Speaker 1 17:24
keep a job. Gotcha, what's the mental health issue? Pretty bad
Stacey 17:28
depression. And then, well, there's ADHD, but anxiety, that's pretty much it. The anxiety is better. Now that I've the anxiety and depression are better now, since I'm on the right medicine combo, okay, they had me take a, like, a DNA test, but something like that, where they figure out what meds work best for you. Given Yeah, you got a good balance. Oh, yeah, it's perfect. I haven't had to change it, like 15 years.
Scott Benner 17:58
Awesome. Yeah. When did you start feeling the anxiety? Do you think your mom had it?
Stacey 18:03
Oh, yeah, she definitely had it. She had borderline personality disorder. Okay, we would describe it as she was like a chameleon. Whoever she was around, she tried to be like them. And I think that her anxiety of wanting to be liked
Scott Benner 18:20
and stuff like that. Your sister, did she have any mental health stuff? Not diagnosed? Did she have issues that lean towards those ideas?
Stacey 18:28
Not depression or anything really, it was more We thought she might have been on the road to be an alcoholic. And you
Scott Benner 18:34
guys are Irish.
Speaker 1 18:36
We are Dutch, Dutch, like
Scott Benner 18:39
pretty like, Mom and Dad are from Dutch background. Not
Stacey 18:42
sure about my mom, but definitely dad were from the Netherlands.
Scott Benner 18:46
Gotcha interesting? Your father still drinks? No,
Stacey 18:50
no. I mean, yeah, he does, but he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have any problems. He's a good guy.
Scott Benner 18:55
What was your dad's vice in the day? Cigarettes?
Stacey 18:58
Cigarettes. Yeah, he's never really been on. I've never seen him really drunk.
Scott Benner 19:04
Okay, your dad doesn't drink much.
Stacey 19:06
No, yeah, he'll have like, a glass or two of wine when we have family over.
Scott Benner 19:10
Yeah, okay, dad, cigarettes, wine. How about violence in the house? Anybody go to jail? Any abuse, anything like that when you're growing up? Nope, just the addiction,
Stacey 19:22
no abuse or anything. The only violence was, I think it was in sixth grade, and my mom tried to commit suicide and, like, cut herself. Oh, while she was in the garage with my friend's mom, they were smoking cigarettes and stuff, and my friend's mom came into the house. So, you know, help, help, you know, and I had to run over to her house get her dad all this stuff. That's the only violence that we ever had in
Scott Benner 19:49
our that's a lot though. How old were you? How old were you when that happened, sixth
Stacey 19:53
grade? So I was probably like, that's young, 1112, or so. Yeah,
Scott Benner 19:57
that's, that's super young. Okay? Have you ever been married? No, no, don't plan on it. I was gonna say, is that a thing you're interested
Stacey 20:05
in? Nope. I don't want kids. I don't want a relationship with anybody. I want to be able to do whatever I want to do, whatever I want to
Scott Benner 20:13
do it. Okay, well, that'll be the only way to accomplish that. How much do you make the cats hit for a week?
Stacey 20:19
So it's up and down. Like, last month was really slow. This month I've almost made, like, three grand.
Scott Benner 20:25
If I said, You come to my house tomorrow and stay for a week. Like, do you stay? Or do you just bop in and out and take care of the
Stacey 20:31
cat? I don't stay. I do visits. So I can do multiple cats a day. So this morning, I went and saw toots. So that was $25 and then I have the three boy cats right now that I'm taking care of, that is, and I give them medicine, and I come twice a day. So that's like $65
Scott Benner 20:54
a day. For that a day, okay, that's not bad, no.
Stacey 20:58
So, so for one visit, it's $25 for two visits. It's $40 and then like add on for meds or additional tasks that they want and stuff like that. And then they, most of them tip on top of that.
Scott Benner 21:10
And how long do you plan on being at each home when you get there? Pretty quick, it's usually about 30 minutes. Wow, you make 60 bucks in 30 minutes. I'm in the wrong business. This sounds like, this sounds pretty like, awesome. Honestly,
Stacey 21:25
it is like, I every day. I'm like, I'll, I'll be chilling with the cats. And I'm like, I can't believe I do this for a living.
Scott Benner 21:32
Yeah, smoking weed, the cats, hanging out. Made three grand.
Stacey 21:38
I've gone on three cruises in the past year, really, to where the Caribbean to, you know, cause the milk, Costa, Maya and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 21:46
Honduras, nice. Are you gonna come on my cruise next year? I
Stacey 21:51
cannot afford it. Next year, that is, I thought I could afford it. Maybe, if you were back on the, you know, Royal Caribbean Mariner,
Scott Benner 21:57
yeah, for Texas, it would be closer for you too. Yeah, we're gonna go out of Miami instead next year. Yeah, that's my fault. I'm sorry. It's okay. Next time, yeah, next time. Listen. I want to understand about your diabetes. So I think we've, like, got a pretty firm background about your family life and, you know, different struggles that you may had, and other people in your life have had. So now we have a background, but now I want to hear about the diabetes, like growing up with it. You had an older sister with it. Was it difficult? Did you find it easy? Like, what was like school through high school? Like with it.
Stacey 22:31
So when I got diagnosed, they took me in my sister's room, and they tested my blood sugar, and I just said, Hi, I could see, like, the disappointment, and I knew what it meant. And that night, I was told I could eat anything I wanted that night, because it would be the last time I could eat whatever I wanted without any worries. Next morning, I got up and we went to my sister's Endo, which was actually like an adult indo, not even a pediatric Endo. She gave me the syringe with insulin in it, and said, Here, give this to yourself and your stomach. And so from that day on, like I was in charge of giving my shots, testing my blood sugar and everything. So that's how, like, my parents didn't weren't really helpful. It's because from day one, the doctor is like, this is yours. You have an older sister. You know what you're doing.
Scott Benner 23:23
Also, your mom was burdened with a number of things. Oh, yeah, yeah. She wasn't probably looking for other stuff to do. Yeah, was that regular and mph? I mean, it's the 90s. It could have been Landis, and it was still then,
Stacey 23:34
yes, started off with regular mph, with syringes, not even the tiny needles, but like the longer needles, and then went to Humalog and Lantus, probably high school or so, and then use pens for that, but then
Scott Benner 23:50
there's a pretty big shift there, and the need and how insulin works. Does anybody go over that with you?
Stacey 23:54
Yes, and no. I went to diabetic camp, so I knew, but not
Scott Benner 23:58
how I know now. When did you gather the knowledge that you have now
Stacey 24:02
started slowly when my sister passed away, and then just build up on that, and then I found the podcast, and that got even more tips and everything.
Scott Benner 24:14
Yeah, yeah. So you're slowly gathering information, and this is brought on by your sister's passing. Did it make you think, oh my gosh, I'm gonna die too.
Stacey 24:21
Yeah? It was like, Oh, I gotta get my stuff together. Yeah,
Scott Benner 24:25
I got more cats to watch and chill out and smoke weed. I can't die. Yeah, yeah.
Stacey 24:31
So at the time before cat sitting, all I've done is child care in the restaurant business. Okay, so I hadn't who would have thought I would become a cat sitter? I don't know,
Scott Benner 24:41
well, how did that happen the first time? What do you mean the first time? Like, how's the first time you found yourself taking care of someone's cat? Was it just somebody said, like, Hey, you're good with animals. I'm leaving for the weekend. I need help.
Stacey 24:51
It was a friend. They were like, Hey, we're leaving for a week or two. Can you watch our cat? Cool? Because they knew I was crazy cat lady. Yeah, I already loved my own cats. And I was like, they paid me. And I was like, you can get
Unknown Speaker 25:05
paid for this. That's pretty cool. Wait a minute.
Stacey 25:09
And then I posted on Facebook, on one of the neighborhood Facebook groups say, you know, if everybody needs a pet cat sitter, let me know. And this was like, right before covid. And I had one lady that was like, Yeah, I would love for you to watch my three cats, blah, blah. And she would book me every, you know, couple months. And then I had another friend that wanted me to start cat sitting for her as well. And so I was getting all these experiences. And so when I would post again on the Facebook page, I had references now, and I had a business card. I had people commenting on the post saying, you know, Stacey's great, blah, blah, blah. Just grew. So just slowly grew, like last year is when it when it went off, yeah, took off. People just know, yeah. It's just a couple posts that I've done in the Facebook group, and then word
Scott Benner 26:03
of mouth, Stacey does a good job. All the silverware is here. When I get back. Cats are alive, all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. She locks the door. That's awesome. Well, yeah, you built yourself a little Empire there. That's very nice. Will you spread out? Like, is there a way to, like, get more and more of this hire a person like, you know, I mean, can you make it, or do you happy with it, just you and and the vibe that it's got right now?
Stacey 26:27
No, I'm good with just me. I don't want to business or anything like that. My dad was a restaurant owner, and I know the stress of owning your own business. Like, I have, like, Yes, I have my own business, but like, I'm not in charge of other people. And yeah, I understand, you know all that. Yeah,
Scott Benner 26:44
there's a lot of THC in your system. Maybe you wouldn't actually be stressed. You might be okay. Yeah, might be all right. Do you smoke your weed? Vape it, you know what I mean, like, what? How do you take it in day to day? What's your preferred method
Stacey 26:58
when I'm home, I use my bong, mostly I have a vape, like a vaporizer that I use every once in a while. It just takes a lot of bud to use it, and you got to heat it up. And anyways, when I'm out and about, I use my
Scott Benner 27:13
vape pen. Okay, you put the flower in the vape pen. Is that how that works?
Stacey 27:17
No, I use the like, the oils.
Scott Benner 27:21
They're like, pre loaded disposable, yeah. Gotcha. I thought this weed was not legal in Texas. How you getting this? I go
Stacey 27:28
see my brother in Kansas City.
Scott Benner 27:30
Ah, a little road trip, yeah. Gotcha. I hear the stuff in the gas stations in Texas is pretty much weed. Anyway, they went around and tested a bunch of it and found out it
Stacey 27:40
was yes. So that's where I get my vapes from. Is from the ones I get. I go to the one stop shop I get, yeah, and I don't know what, what's in them, honestly, but they work for me. And I don't have to, you know, travel to Kansas City for that. Yeah.
Scott Benner 27:59
How does all this impact your blood sugar. Have you noticed any like, is there any correlation between vaping, smoking, etc, and how much insulin you use or you're eating anything? Can you see any connections between the two? When
Stacey 28:14
I was not smoking bud, after I got sober from alcohol, my blood sugars were good, but I noticed when I started smoking again, the insulin need went down. You
Scott Benner 28:26
think your anxiety goes down, yeah, okay, and then maybe you don't need as much insulin because you don't have as much adrenaline or that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. What happens if you don't smoke for a day or two? Does the or
Stacey 28:38
does that not happen? That only happens if I'm sick. Kansas
Scott Benner 28:43
City closes one or the other. Yeah, by the way, is it Kansas City Missouri or Kansas City? Kansas?
Stacey 28:50
Missouri is legal. Kansas City Kansas is not legal.
Scott Benner 28:55
Interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, I want to go back to you feeling like you're not going to live very long. So you have this feeling your entire life. Then your sister, well, then your mom passes, and that's tough, I would imagine. So then how do you, like, traverse the loss of your mother?
Stacey 29:13
Honestly, just thought, okay, live how I want to live. Because I want to do this. Do it. Because who knows when you're gonna die? Okay? I already know I'm gonna
Scott Benner 29:22
die early. So got that feeling, enjoy what I do, what I want to do. Yeah, she passes early. And then how many years is it until you lose your your sister? Not that many more, right? Five years or so. Yeah, five years later, your sister's in the hospital. And then gone pretty quickly, right?
Stacey 29:40
Yep, she was actually in the hospital in a coma, and I was in the ER from drinking too much and almost being in BK
Scott Benner 29:52
while your sister was passing away in the hospital, you were also in the hospital for something different,
Stacey 29:56
same hospital in the ER from drinking. Too much and almost wanted.
Scott Benner 30:02
DKA, the drinking too much in that scenario was because, what? Because your sister was sick, you drank more. No, I was already drinking. You were just doing it anyway, yeah. What is it? A regular day of drinking, it just caught up with you. Yeah. Were you not mad? I mean. DK, you were not managing your diabetes while you were drinking excessively.
Stacey 30:22
No, I never really managed my diabetes. Great, from the day of diagnosis till my 20s.
Scott Benner 30:28
What did that mean? How did you I mean, how'd you stay alive that long? What was your system?
Stacey 30:33
I always took my long acting and just luck, luck, I would, you know, take my shots here there, test my blood sugar here, there. It really just luck. I remember when I was first diagnosed at school, I would go to the nurse's office test my blood sugar and figure out how much insulin needed. I would draw it up. She would look at it, and then I would go in the bathroom and take it, and I would just shoot it down the sink. Why? I don't know. I honestly don't know, because
Scott Benner 31:03
you shot your Lantus every day, right? Yeah, so were you trying to hurt yourself? No, I don't think so. You don't think so. I mean, so you're in the room, you're holding the syringe. It's there. The calculations have been done for you. The only thing left to do is to put it in and push the thing and you're like, Screw this shot in the sink, walk back out. Yeah, huh. Have you been to therapy? Yeah, what did they tell you? They don't
Stacey 31:28
really tell you anything. They kind of make you figure out how you've got
Scott Benner 31:33
enough wrong. Somebody should have told you something. But like, what is like, what is the um, they want you to figure it out. Okay, so what did you figure out? Nothing like, why do you drink? Do you think so could feel like something else? Okay, feel differently. Yeah. What is it you're feeling that you don't want to feel like, I want to feel normal, okay? And when you're not drinking, how do you feel like, not just the abnormal, but like, what does that mean? Do you not do well with people? Are you tell me what it is that you're shutting up with the
Stacey 32:05
alcohol just knowing. So when I don't drink, I'm fine with people, but when I drink, I am more friendly, I'm nicer, I'm I'm a different person. You know, everyone be like, You're so quiet. Blah, blah, blah, yeah, give me a couple shots and I'm I'll be completely different. Be plenty, yeah? I just like the altered mind of it. Yeah.
Scott Benner 32:28
I mean, you're doing a lot of different things that alter how you feel. Yeah, my
Stacey 32:32
blood sugars weren't good at the time when I was drinking. So it's like, God knows what was going on, right? While
Scott Benner 32:38
that's going on. Do you ever think about like I could go into DK and die? Or is that not a consideration, not really a consideration? Okay? Because you thought this is never gonna happen to me. I can avoid, I can ignore this if I want to.
Stacey 32:51
Yes and no, I was like, always thought I'm gonna die early. Anyways, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna make it past 30, so might as well
Scott Benner 32:59
you think you were depressed as a kid? Yes, yeah. Okay. So you're depressed already, then you get diagnosed, then your mom dies, and you just think, like, you know that the idea I had that I'll be dead by I'm 30, that's going to come true, so I can just enjoy myself and screw all this stuff. Like, I don't have to be like, a real, like, functioning part of anything, because I'm not going to be here very long to begin with exactly interesting. Have you ever dated or been married? I've dated, never married. How do your relationships normally go? They go fine.
Stacey 33:29
I've had a couple long term couple years with couple people. My last one, I broke up with him because he I knew he would be controlling in the end, because he would be like, You should wear your hair like this. You should wear this outfit. You should do No, dude, I will do what I want to do, and you're going to be okay with it or not. Don't tell me what I should do, like that, you know, trying to mold you
Scott Benner 33:58
into something you weren't. Yeah, you think he was trying to mold you into something that would have been an improvement. For you and you avoided it? Or what is it more of, just like what he thought was right for the world, what he thought, yeah, yeah. Like saying, if you would have done some of those things, do you think you would have been in a better position? No, no. Okay, so he was just being controlling, yeah.
Stacey 34:19
And there are more red flags, like the only person in his family who knew about me was his sister, and we dated from was two years. Yeah, so that's
Scott Benner 34:28
not nice. Okay, so you got away from that. That's good, but you don't want to date anymore. No. Okay. What do you do for like, intimacy out of hand, okay, it's okay to you? Yeah, I've hooked up with bias here and there, but stuff that you know is going to be like, fleeting, yeah, I
Stacey 34:48
can take care of myself. Yeah,
Speaker 1 34:49
I gotcha. Yeah. Interesting. What makes you want to come on the podcast?
Stacey 34:53
So what was it last month you were like, Hey, I have some free time. Who wants to get on a. Call, and I jumped on the call, and there were the two other people, yes, yeah. I was just writing them off, like, why not, you know. And then I started talking. You're like, you sound like you should have your own episode.
Scott Benner 35:14
Yeah, let me tell people about this. Now, my gosh, I can't believe this is what this was. Somebody like, had one of those. I think it was like a time zone cancelation. Sometimes people get confused with the time zones. And I was sitting here, and I was already to work, and I was like, come on. Like, I was revved up to do something, and I popped into Facebook, and I was like, Hey, can somebody jump on who'd want to record? But before I could, like, go take the link down, there were three people in the group. And I was like, All right, well, we'll get you guys all your own episodes. And, yeah, this was yours. Oh, okay, yeah, cuz you started talking in there, and I was like, Oh, don't waste it on this. Let's, let's make a time. Okay, this is making more sense to me. Yeah, all right. Like, if I said to you, if I was your mom, I'd be worried about you. Would you understand that? Okay? And then I want you to tell me why that's not a thing I should be worried about, unless you think it is a thing I should be worried about. Do you have health insurance? Yeah, yeah. Where do you get that from? Obamacare?
Stacey 36:12
Okay, I've been on it since it's been out nice. All right,
Scott Benner 36:16
awesome. So you have health insurance. That's good. You have a, you know, you found a way to make money that so thing you like, that's awesome, too, right now we're smoking weed every day. That's not a thing I should be worried about. If I'm your mom. Like, do you think you're okay? Yeah, yeah. And the things you're trying to get away from, is there a way that you could get away from without altering yourself? Or is that not something you've considered
Stacey 36:38
there's not really much I'm trying to get a way from. I don't I've already gotten away from the stuff that I want to get away from.
Scott Benner 36:46
Okay, can you tell me what that stuff was
Stacey 36:49
like, the whole friends that want to drink, party, that kind of stuff. I had a good friend that she had two kids ended up selling fentanyl. Okay, yes. So I was like, X that, I don't want
Scott Benner 37:06
to hang around with the fentanyl seller. Yeah, gotcha
Stacey 37:09
so stuff like that, you know, I keep my circle small, my my life is small and it's easier. That way.
Scott Benner 37:18
You like it, yeah? Okay. When I said get away from things, although that was an awesome example of something to get away from, I meant like thoughts or feelings that you want to alter, that you used to use alcohol for, maybe now you use weed for. Is it sadness? Is it anxiety? Is it memories? Is it you have to understand states. Let's start over. I don't drink like so I don't understand like from a personal perspective, the desire to stop being me. Whatever is happening to me right now, whatever my thoughts are, my feelings are like, and I've, you know, gone through some stuff in my life, but I've never been to the point where I was like, if you could just give me an elixir that would get me out of this. I would do it. What is the thing you're getting out of.
Stacey 38:02
It wasn't necessarily getting out of something. It was enhancing, making it better, but something's going like this. Add alcohol makes it even better,
Scott Benner 38:13
but now you don't drink anymore, so like the alcohol made the moment better, but it made your life worse. Is that fair? Oh, yeah, okay. And then at some point you realize I'm gonna die, like my sister, I have to, like, pull myself together. Is that the whole thing? Yeah, okay. And so you stopped drinking about that time. Is that right? In 2010
Stacey 38:38
so she passed away. It took a while for me to completely
Scott Benner 38:42
get there. Yeah, I imagine, yeah. And then you used AA, yep.
Stacey 38:45
I actually went to the same aa group that my mom went to when she was an alcoholic. And people remembered her and were like, oh, you know, saw me. I used to go there for Al Anon and a small world moment.
Scott Benner 39:01
What's the difference between being the kid of an alcoholic? And, I mean, you haven't called yourself an alcoholic yet, but are you, I'm an alcoholic addict. Okay, okay, so what's the difference between being the the child, the non drinking child of an alcoholic, and it actually being your reality. Like, is the impact on you? Like, can you remember back that far to like, 1314, year old? You like, how did it feel that your mom was just an alcoholic?
Stacey 39:28
Yes, I was mad at her. I didn't understand, you know, I didn't I thought she didn't want to get her together. She couldn't get her together. I was mad at her. I remember. But then, after going to rehab for the first time and working with people, I realized, wow, I understand the disease part of it. Yeah, I understand what she was going through. I understand what why she made these choices,
Scott Benner 39:52
and was she gone by then, yes. How does that feel, not to be able to tell her
Stacey 39:56
that it sucks, but there's nothing you can do about it. Yeah. I'm not gonna reminisce and, oh, I wish I could have done this. It is what
Scott Benner 40:04
it is. No, I just mean, like, once you realize that you were mad at somebody for something that you now have a different perspective
Stacey 40:09
on, and it was relieving, because I didn't have that anger anymore.
Scott Benner 40:13
Oh, you get to not be angry at her. Yeah, that's interesting. Were you able to lend yourself the same kind of grace that you gave to her, Oh, yeah, yeah. That's really nice. That's, it's awesome. And you think it's a family tradition, huh? The baby genetic, the drinking, definitely. Yeah, everybody your brother drink, yes.
Stacey 40:33
Alcoholic, addict. He was Callie sober, and now he's fully sober for a couple
Scott Benner 40:39
months now. Does everybody know California sober means weed only? Okay? I just, I mean, you and I know, but, like, I wasn't sure.
Stacey 40:46
On my dad's side, I have aunts that drink excessively. I have cousins that drink excessively
Scott Benner 40:53
to Scourge through your family, really?
Stacey 40:56
Yeah, mental and addiction and bad health are both sides of my family, basically.
Scott Benner 41:03
That's in our family crest. Yeah, that's awesome. If you're looking for mental, physical health problems with a splash of doers, you want us, yeah, that's a tough thing to bear, you know, because event, because it's all around you, right? So even if you didn't want to do it. It was going to happen eventually. And then you've got that genetic component of it about how that, how the alcohol grabs a hold of you. And so once you try it, you're in, you're in, right? Because you would, you say, 16, you started, yeah, it have a hold of you pretty quickly. Oh, yeah, yeah. Geez. How is it that you're capable of not going back to it now? Like, what is it you? What is it you do? Doing done that stops that from being a part of your life
Stacey 41:45
nowadays, I just remember going to work on New Year's Day of 2011 or no, 2010 and being in the bathroom, sick on the bathroom, throwing up, being like I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I know what I'm supposed to do. And I went home, told my dad, he said, All right, let's go to AA. You need to go to AA. That worked for a little bit. And then I relapsed and went to the psych ward, and then ended up in rehab a couple times. And it just took a couple times, you know, it took a little bit to stick and for me to figure out how to do it. I have a higher power that I believe in. And I just, I don't have the want to drink anymore because I have the weed. But
Scott Benner 42:32
if you and I were somewhere together and I didn't know you, we were just sitting talking, and I had a drink, come over, and I said to you, hey, you know, hey, I take mine. I'll get another one. Would you have the ability to put your hand out and say, No, I'm good. Thanks,
Stacey 42:47
Yep, yeah. I said, No, I don't know. Think I don't drink if
Scott Benner 42:51
I persisted, if I said, No, come on, don't, don't make me drink alone. Would you say a recovering
Stacey 42:55
alcohol? Say, No, you want me to go to the hospital like it makes me end up in the hospital. So I'm sick and tired of doing that. Gotcha.
Scott Benner 43:01
Yeah, you don't understand where this ends. Has that ever happened to you, or you've had to be like, out in the open about it with somebody, because, I mean, it must come up, right?
Stacey 43:10
Not to the extent. I mean, just, you know, the first time you go out with friends, just kind of tell them, Yes, like, I don't drink. I'm an alcoholic. I've never been ashamed of it, right?
Scott Benner 43:21
Everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic. Because if I, whenever you tell somebody you don't drink, they just assume it's because you can't. Yeah, it's an interesting thing. Anytime somebody says, Oh, how about this? They go, No, I don't drink. They go, Oh, like, it's almost like, Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize, you know. And I'm like, oh, then you go away. No. It's like, you know, I just, I just don't drink. I couldn't even begin to tell you why we had a birthday dinner for Arden. She turned 21 and we went out to dinner, and it was just my family and a couple of Arden's friends, and, yeah, the the restaurant brought out champagne for everybody. And I was like, Oh, what am I gonna do with this? I toasted with everyone, and I took a sip, and I was like, okay, and then I put I didn't even, like, I wasn't, like, compelled to finish it, or, I don't know, to get a different drink. It's interesting. Like, even Arden that night, I don't think she'd mind anybody knowing this. She got like, a drink at dinner, and then her and her friends went out afterwards, like a Tuesday night, you know what I mean. So not a lot of things to do, places to go. And they left the house at 10 and they were back at Oh 1145 and I was like, Hey, you're back. And like, yeah, it was boring. It sucked. I was like, Do you have a drink? She's like, I had one. And I was like, what'd you think? She goes. It was fine. Like, and that was kind of the end of it. I point that out because it's so crazy that some people have something going on in their body. I don't know what it is, if it's in their mind, or if it's in their wiring, or what it is that alcohol hits them and it's like the beginning of the end. And some people take it and go, I don't want this like in that it's fascinating, you don't? I mean.
Stacey 45:00
My sister Stephanie, she does not understand why someone would want to drink and get drunk. Yeah, I'm with her. I don't get it either. When she drinks, she gets she gets reactions from it, she gets sick. She's like, I don't understand that. And so she's she's never quite gotten the disease.
Scott Benner 45:18
It's funny, because I think there's a difference between not understanding people's motives, like, physically not getting whatever it is someone else is getting out of that alcohol, I would tell you that, like, I just don't whatever it is you get out of that doesn't happen for me. Like, and I wonder, like, is that just dumb luck or bad luck for you, or whatever? Like, you know, I mean, like, if you said to me, Scott, like, honestly, if we sat down to have a drink and you drank a Coca Cola, like a soda, regular soda, I wouldn't judge you, but if you made me stop and talk about it, I'd say I don't understand why people drink soda with sugar in it, like I just it's so much sugar, I don't get why that's a decision that somebody makes that's different. That's me not understanding a decision you made. I'm telling you like, whatever the judge is that comes from that drinking. I can't even describe it to you, because it's never happened. You never been drunk. I mean, a couple of times, but I didn't find it particularly like a thing maybe twice, but it's not a thing that I did. And then I was like, Oh, awesome. Like, I can't wait to do that again. You don't like the feeling of it. I don't like not being me, okay, yeah. But I think some people like not being them or not being in their situation or their circumstance. So if I said to you, finish this sentence, Hi, I'm Stacey, and my life is going, what would you say? My life is going good, yeah, it is right. Like, yeah, that's what I thought you were gonna say. So you've got your diabetes under control, you've got your drinking in check. You've found a way you feel like to manage your anxiety, right? You know who you want around you as people. You've worked through the issues you have with, you know, people passing right? Like, how'd you get all through all this to a point where you feel like you're good
Stacey 47:02
honestly, I think it's the mushrooms. No kidding, yeah, tell me, because you just, you get this feeling that everything's going to be okay. In the end, it's all going to be okay,
Scott Benner 47:13
and that's it. That comfort is right, yeah? And before that, you did not have that comfort.
Stacey 47:19
No, I didn't know, you know, I didn't think everything was gonna be okay. I thought I was gonna die. I thought, you know, with my mom being alcoholic, I did stuff like that, everything didn't look okay in my life.
Scott Benner 47:31
Yeah, you looked around your surroundings and you thought, I'm trapped in a storm. There's no way I'm getting out of this. Yeah, yeah. Is it one of those like, like, if you can't beat them, join them things. Like, you just, like, I guess I'll just dive in, if this is my lot in life. Basically, yeah, yeah. And then it takes a lot of outcomes that are physically harmful to you to get you thinking in a certain direction. But you really don't make the whole leap till your sister passes away and still, then it takes a while afterwards, exactly, wow. But then one day, you just woke up and you're like, Oh, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm drinking, yeah, yeah, the whole thing, like, that way of thinking, it wasn't just overnight, no, no, I'm saying it took you a long time of like, different things had to happen. You had to. You had different health issues. You. DK, you said, I mean, countless times, but your sister passing pushes you the rest of the way, but then it still takes time after that to get through it all and to make decisions, to change. Yeah,
Stacey 48:31
yeah. But I didn't just like, wake up and it was all different. Yeah,
Scott Benner 48:35
it's not a movie. He didn't wake up and be like, Oh well, yesterday was the funeral. Today, I'm good. Like, yeah, no, it wasn't like that. There's probably more struggle before there was resolution. Yeah, you said you gave yourself over to higher power. Was that like from the direction of AA, or is that a thing you thought to do on your
Stacey 48:52
own? So growing up, my family was not religious. We didn't go to church. My dad was forced to go to church as a kid, and he didn't want he didn't like it, so he didn't go to church. I always had Christian beliefs. We didn't really talk about God at home. I did go to church for a little bit with a friend for a couple years when I was like, in high school, middle school. But just religion wasn't like, a big thing within our family. Learning about it in AA helps me realize, like, there is a higher power, whether he's God, whether he's Buddha, whether he's whoever he shows himself to different people in different ways, there's a higher power out there that's in charge of
Scott Benner 49:37
everything. What you need to accept that? Like, yeah, throw in with it. Like,
Stacey 49:42
yeah, he's gonna make everything okay. Whatever happens is meant to happen,
Scott Benner 49:47
yeah, that feeling of everything's not going to be okay is a ruling feeling in your life, yeah? And then you have to find a way to believe that that's not the case if you're going to move on, yeah? Gotcha. What's the point? Right, if not, what's the point of life?
Stacey 50:02
Like, if it's not going to be okay, what's the point of,
Scott Benner 50:05
oh, like, why am I trying so hard, if in the end? Like, but when you think of it not being okay, like, when you think back to when you thought it wasn't going to be okay, what did that mean, early death? Yeah, yeah, that was the thing you were afraid of. It's a rather existential idea. Like, everything's not okay. I mean, what the hell is everything and what is not okay? Like, you know what? I mean? Like, it's a it's a pretty broad statement, but you're talking about just Moreover, of like, a belief that you didn't need to live your life well because it was about to end at any second.
Stacey 50:35
Yeah, so might as well do whatever I want to do.
Scott Benner 50:37
Did a therapist call that depression? I will do you think of it as depression? I do have depression. So, yeah, yeah, that's part of it. That's where that idea mainly comes from, right? When you think about life now and you still know, it's finite, right? Like, there'll be a day, like, you know, let's hope it's, you know, you're like, way old and all that stuff. And, like, it just ends when you think about it going that way, what's the meaning of your life? Then is it? Because I think of life as, like, the things you do, right? Like, who you help and who you're involved with, who you love, like that stuff. Like, what do you think of life as an experience that is for you? Yeah, an experience for me? Yeah? Yeah. You like animals a lot, though, cats, cats, not a dog, person so specific to cats. When you're helping cats like be happy, is that a thing that you're doing for you because you enjoy cats, or is that a thing you're doing for them and you just happen to enjoy it? Yeah, it's both. Yeah, that's good. That's
Stacey 51:34
healthy. Like being in childcare. I love I loved being in childcare, helping the children. I loved being a manager at the restaurant, because the teenagers, you got to help develop them and stuff like that. I love that.
Scott Benner 51:47
You like supporting things and people. Yeah? Okay, you're a people person, even though you keep a small circle. Yeah?
Stacey 51:53
So I'm the person that we're in a group of people. I'm not going to be talking but if I'm at the store and we're both looking at the same thing, I'll be like, oh, yeah, what do you think about this? And I'll talk to strangers. It's the worst thing, but I have, like, a different personality,
Scott Benner 52:09
and people don't know who you are, yeah? So when you have anonymity, you're more outgoing, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Back to mushrooms. Make you feel like everything's gonna be okay. How long does that feeling last for?
Stacey 52:25
I mean, I haven't done them in a year, over a year, and I'm
Scott Benner 52:29
still, you're still good, still, yeah, nice. So there's a world where you might never do them again, yeah?
Stacey 52:35
Gotcha, I only do them when I feel it's the right time? Yeah, when it's needed, yeah, I'm not like a lot, we go shroom right now, right?
Scott Benner 52:46
Is the weed a habit at this point? Or do you find it to be necessary? Both is a bit of a habit. Yeah.
Stacey 52:53
Also, if I didn't have it, I wouldn't be a very nice person, really. What would happen to your personality? I get more irritated and angry. Yeah, have
Scott Benner 53:03
you ever had your blood work done to make sure your iron levels are good and you don't have like, Hashimotos or something like that? So
Stacey 53:10
my had this written down. My TSH has been up and down for the last 15 years. Go ahead,
Scott Benner 53:19
up and down. How? So in 2010
Stacey 53:23
it was point six, five, okay. And then six years later, it was 1.2 okay. Went back down to like, point seven, three, and then in 24 it was 2.660 and now it's 1.25
Scott Benner 53:40
Interesting. Yeah, have you had thyroid symptoms?
Stacey 53:44
Yeah, it's also rampant in my family.
Scott Benner 53:47
Well, then what did the doctor say about that?
Stacey 53:50
Not much. I need to find a new Endo. Okay, so I haven't really talked to my primary care doctor about it. There's other things we've been talking about before
Speaker 1 53:59
that. What else you talking about? My prolactin
Stacey 54:03
is high, and so I haven't had a period in two and a half years or more. Is that awesome or No, a year and a half? Yeah. Is that a thing you're upset about? No, not at all. That's why I'm not like, now I'm pushing too hard. No, they're like, you might have a tumor in your brain. And I'm like, doesn't feel like, it
Scott Benner 54:22
feels like I'm not bleeding every month. But thank you. Listen. I was gonna ask you, like, is there a reason why that's not a good thing? And I mean, I don't see any reason why you can't tackle both things at the same
Stacey 54:33
time. Also, I didn't jump on it, like getting that MRI this and that, I sat on it and thought about it, did research, and a lot of the meds that I'm on can increase your prolactin, I see, and I had started a new med that
Scott Benner 54:51
increases it as well. Oh, okay, well, then there's an answer.
Stacey 54:54
So I got off that Med, and my prolactin is slowly going down.
Scott Benner 54:59
Oh. Then we have an answer. There's no brain no brain tumor. It sounds like that's what I think. Yeah, I think just get that blood work done again and look at that. TSH, if that TSH jumps up over two, 2.1 again. You got to say, look, I have thyroid symptoms, and my numbers are all over the place. Like, maybe I need some help here. Definitely. Yeah, get them thinking about that. You know, your mom had it too. Not sure about my
Stacey 55:22
mom, but my dad is hypo and my his sister and brother, so my aunt and uncle both have hypocrisy.
Scott Benner 55:30
Gotcha lot of autoimmune in the Scandinavian, like Dutch, right? Yep,
Stacey 55:34
my dad has vitiligo. My aunt has Braves.
Scott Benner 55:39
Yeah, no kidding. Wow, that's a hodgepodge. Seriously, have you heard that word? Yeah, but not recently, a little bit of everything. Who would use that word? Such an old, old word, I want to finish with this. So like tell me about how you manage your diabetes.
Stacey 55:55
Nowadays, I'm on Omnipod five, and I fight with it every day to get my blood sugar lower. You know, the target says 110 but it feels like it's at like
Scott Benner 56:08
150 so you Bolus extra, yeah,
Stacey 56:13
but I'm so sensitive that point one units is a lot, won't make me go low if, yeah,
Scott Benner 56:19
oh, okay. So what do you mean? Are you bolusing extra? Yeah, yeah. Do you Pre-Bolus your meals?
Stacey 56:28
So with gastroparesis, that's hard. Oh, I
Scott Benner 56:30
didn't know you got gastroparesis. I'm sorry. Yeah, I got that when I was 22 was that from, like, poor management leading up till then? Definitely. Yeah, and it hasn't gotten any better with your management being better. The
Stacey 56:44
medicine that I take definitely helps, but the management definitely helps as well. I don't have it as bad, as bad as other people have it sometimes, you know, people being on, like the gastric pumps and all that, yeah, but I have my bad days, my good days like this morning, I wasn't feeling good. I had unstuffed peppers last night with brown rice with quinoa in it. This morning did not feel good. I had to take two zofrans. Didn't do anything. And finally, had to take a Promethean and now I feel almost fine. You think that's from the peppers, the peppers and
Scott Benner 57:22
the quinoa. Okay, so it's tougher to Bolus Pre-Bolus for meals, yeah,
Stacey 57:27
because sometimes the same thing will hit me fast. Sometimes they'll hit me slow. It depends on my blood sugar. It depends on how I feel like when I'm stressed, the gastroparesis acts up. Okay? When I was working at the restaurant or going to a job, being stressed out, my gastroparesis was always acting up. More difficult, yeah, but now that really hard to stress about cats. So now I'm not like I stress, and I don't have as many problems with the gastroparesis.
Scott Benner 58:01
Yeah, you don't know. You don't know any stressful cats. Those cats are chills, right?
Stacey 58:05
Well, a medication administration can be stressful.
Scott Benner 58:08
But other than that, they don't love that. Where does that medication go? What do you mean? It goes in their mouth or their butt? Where do you have to put it?
Stacey 58:16
So, yeah, there's the pill. Poppers had to do the mouth, and they had to do subcutaneous fluids for one of my cats. Really,
Scott Benner 58:24
any of them have diabetes? One of them had diabetes. Did you have two shots? No.
Stacey 58:29
Two of them had diabetes. Yeah. I was like, I got that. I know what to do.
Scott Benner 58:32
You fed the cats and gave them insulin.
Unknown Speaker 58:35
Yeah, I gave them their
Scott Benner 58:36
shots. That's nice. Hey, you're doing a nice thing out there in the world, that's lovely. Very cool. So you are g6 g7 What do you use?
Stacey 58:46
Just switched over to g7 can't tell if I love it or not. Okay, still new. Yes, still new. Not having really too many problems that I thought I would based off what you see on the internet.
Scott Benner 59:00
Now, the internet is always gonna tell you what's wrong with everything. So, yeah, go ahead. So it's been better than the internet told you it was gonna be,
Stacey 59:08
yeah, and I just, I don't know how accurate it is. Sometimes. Do you check? Do you have a meter somewhere? Yeah, no, I have one. I just don't compare it that
Scott Benner 59:19
much. You should try if you're not sure, what? Are you busy? Yeah, you can't do it.
Stacey 59:24
No, as far as the ADHD, think about it and then forget about it.
Scott Benner 59:27
Think about it. Forget how old are you again? 39 Wow. You're 40 years old. Wow. It's a big number. Like, are you are you stressing about being 40 or no? Are you just happy you didn't die when you were
Stacey 59:37
30? I'm just happy I didn't die when I was 30. Yeah, every every year.
Scott Benner 59:40
So a nice surprise, yeah, you don't have that feeling anymore, like you haven't, like, reset the age to a different age. You don't think about that anymore. That's
Stacey 59:50
great. That's really great. I used to say I didn't want kids because I thought it was gonna die early, and I didn't want leave somebody. At least someone like that, like, my mom died early, you know, yeah. And so I was like, I don't want kids because of that. And now it's like, no, I don't want kids because I don't want that responsibility a
Scott Benner 1:00:09
lot to pay for. Yeah, there's a lady on recently, older, not but not too old, but she, I was, like, trying to do the math on, like, how old were you when you started having kids? You know, like, pretty young and but she was clearly building like a, like a life on purpose. And it turned out what she said was, like, she was diagnosed a long time ago, and they told her, like, you know, she wasn't gonna live very long. So she, like, got married right away and started, like, churning out kids, because she's like, that's what I wanted. I wanted to have a family. And it's interesting, like, faced with a very similar message, you went the opposite way, like, she's like, Oh, if I'm going to die soon, then let's get going and make some babies. And you were like, well, if I'm going to die soon, then I'm not going to bring kids into
Stacey 1:00:49
this. Yeah, I don't want the kid to be here without a parent. Yeah. Just
Scott Benner 1:00:52
interesting, how different minds conceive those kind of similar things different ways. Yeah, it's awesome. Do you have anything else? Anything you want to ask me? Is there anything I didn't ask you? I want to make sure we covered everything.
Stacey 1:01:04
I wrote down some notes. Funny story that I got diagnosed on winter break in fourth grade. And for Christmas, we got stockings full of sugar free candy last night of Christmas break, me and my sister, Stephanie, all of it, and we were shitting our pants, that's what we learned. Yeah, you gotta sugar free candy is not the
Scott Benner 1:01:30
best. There's a sweetener. What's it called? Gosh, there's something in sugar free, some sugar free candies. That's the last xylitol, right? Xylitol or something like that. Yeah, you want me to tell you a story? Yeah, I once. I don't like to eat on planes too much, so, like, I'll grab a couple of things if I want to be in a long flight. I was on this long flight one time, and I got these sugar free life savers. They even make life savers anymore. Yes, I had a whole roll of them. And I don't know what happened, but in like, the last hour of the flight, I just started popping them, like, I don't know, like they were I was eating the way they weren't meant to be. I had, like, the whole roll of life savers. And I was getting off the plane, and I was like, Oh, get a little bubbly. I don't feel well, and I made it so funny. This is me and Cole and my brother, and we were headed towards, you're taking coal to play baseball somewhere, and we got on the ground. Gotta get me back. Then it was a taxi. Like you didn't even get like, I mean, you couldn't even, there's no Uber or anything. We pull up at the or maybe we rented a car. We rented a car and we pulled up at the hotel, but we were there earlier and like, sorry, you can't check in. I was like, that's okay. Is there a bathroom in the lobby? She's like, right over there. And I was like, awesome. I looked at my brother and my and Cole was like, I'll just be back and just and, oh my God, it was horrifying. And so you ate, like, a lot more than that,
Stacey 1:03:06
a lot, and the chocolates are, like, even worse. Yeah, your
Scott Benner 1:03:11
sister were just in different did you have two bathrooms? I hope,
Stacey 1:03:15
yeah, so I was downstairs with my parents, and she was upstairs in the other one.
Scott Benner 1:03:22
Yeah, did eat that stuff sparingly? That's yeah, that's funny. That's good. What else is on your list there?
Stacey 1:03:28
So do you want to know your top three sayings? What do you think you say
Scott Benner 1:03:33
the most you listen to podcast a lot. Yeah, I'm on episode 1249, I believe you start at the beginning,
Stacey 1:03:42
from the beginning, almost a year ago, yeah, just a little over a year ago, a
Scott Benner 1:03:46
year you've gotten through 1200 episodes. Yeah? All right, let me say to everybody, quit your job, start babysitting cats and get listening, because that's awesome. Very nice. Yeah, there's things I say that I say more frequently, though. Okay, my top three, do you want me to like? You want to play this like a game? How do you want to do this? Yeah, I want you to guess. How am I gonna know you say them? Can I be honest with you? No, can I tell you something? No, I don't know if I said this on the podcast before that's not on there either. No, you got to give me a hint. Fascinating. I say fascinating. I do say fascinating. Do you know why it's fascinating? I am genuinely fascinated by things.
Stacey 1:04:28
Yeah, you used to say delightful a lot. You slow
Scott Benner 1:04:32
down on that. I do not say delightful as much anymore. Yeah, yeah,
Stacey 1:04:35
it's a good word. One that I always notice is in the end, in the end, because I always sing the song in the like,
Scott Benner 1:04:43
yeah, oh, you hear it, because it makes a song go off in your head, yeah? So, like, I'll tell a story, and then to wrap it up, I'll say, well, in the end I learned this,
Stacey 1:04:53
or even in the end of whatever, yeah,
Scott Benner 1:04:58
you know, Rob right now is listening. He's thinking, like, do I have to chop some of those out? Like, what's going on? Is he saying this too much? Leave them in Rob Stacy's Yeah, Stacey, Oh, you like them. They're, they're comfort, they're comfort points for you.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:10
Yeah. Oh, that's
Stacey 1:05:12
the one. And then you say water, like my mom used to say, look, we can try this if you want. You
Scott Benner 1:05:18
say it, W, A, R, T, E R. You think I'm saying water,
Stacey 1:05:24
that's what it sounds like, water, like you water. It's not, yeah, R in it. It's
Scott Benner 1:05:30
not W, A R, D, E R, water. Because around here they say it's, they say like water, like W, O, O, woodr, but I mean, how do I I'm so I hear an R in it. Yeah, I'm so bum puzzled by this. I don't even actually know how I say it. We actually just at that dinner I was telling you about for Arden's birthday, like somebody said myth. And then everyone looked at me and was like, Scott, can't say myths. Then they had me saying it so much I didn't know what was happening anymore. I'm like, myth, myth, myth. And the girl sitting across from me, she's like, no myth, like, I don't know what she how she was saying it, but
Speaker 1 1:06:07
she's, I don't know how you're saying it wrong. I don't either.
Scott Benner 1:06:11
But then I can't say it with, I can't say it with an athlete. Myths, myths. I don't, I can't, yeah, I don't know how to do it so, but water, I think if you told me there was a current a correct pronunciation of it, and tell you right now what that correct pronunciation is, or you're gonna, like, you know, push me off a cliff, I couldn't be confident that I know the correct way to say that word. So is it water? Water, water. Yeah, water definitely sounds wrong.
Stacey 1:06:43
You do the W, A, WA, and then T, E R, water, water, not
Scott Benner 1:06:50
water, water, water that sounds water, that sounds very wrong to me,
Stacey 1:06:54
but you don't say it that slowly, water, when you say
Scott Benner 1:06:58
it, water, water, yeah, oh, my god, is that right? Yeah, that sounds so wrong,
Stacey 1:07:04
but it's normal up north. My My mom was from up north, so that's how she grew up, saying, barter, go wash your hands, Mom, I don't know how to wash my hands. You want me to wash my hands?
Scott Benner 1:07:14
Wash. She would say, wash. Yeah. She put that R in there. Oh, I think of that as more of a southern thing, huh? Yeah, I don't know. I grew up very poorly. Nobody was leaning on, uh, on education very much. I mean, I'm from the northeast, so and I grew up outside of Philly, which is, it's tough, you know, like, they do speak really strange, normal. Yeah, it's normal up there, yeah, yeah. I don't think I do it like, I mean, I think if you went into Philadelphia and found a guy my age, he'd have a much harsher accent than I have. Oh, yeah, yeah, but I'm touched by it a little bit. And now I live between there and New Jersey and New York and like, I'm kind of right there. You get a little bit of everybody's accent to some degree or another, a mod podge. Yeah, hodgepodge. Oh, I think Mod Podge is actually the stuff you put on art. Isn't it that way you put on a on puzzles to hold them together? Yeah, yeah. We should call this episode Mod Podge.
Stacey 1:08:09
Much it was supposed to say. It was supposed to be Oh God. Because when we were talking, you're like, you asked me something. I said, oh god. You're like, is that the name of your episode? I was like, Oh God no, oh
Scott Benner 1:08:20
god no. Well, it's gonna be, I mean, I think it's got to be after dark, yeah, couple of different reasons. Top my head, drugs, alcohol, talked about masturbation, like, I think we're definitely gonna call it like, after dark. But after
Stacey 1:08:35
dark, what modge, podge or hodgepodge would work out? Because it's a little bit of everything,
Scott Benner 1:08:39
yeah, really is maybe I'll go hodgepodge. People are gonna be like, Oh my God, he's running out of titles. But, I mean, listen, otherwise, this is like, after dark, dead mom and sister, and I don't think that's an uplifting thing that's gonna drag people into the into the the arena. No. What's one thing? This is my last question for you. What's one thing that you could imagine happening in your life that would be crazy for you based, think, based on how you're set up right now. Like, I don't want to have kids, I don't want to be married, I don't like, what's one thing that you think could happen like, the thing that creeps into your head once in a
Stacey 1:09:13
while? What do you mean that could have something good or something bad?
Scott Benner 1:09:16
No good. Like, do you think like you maybe you'll end up married, or maybe you'll end up having a baby on purpose, or, like, something like that. I just want to win the lottery. You think that's what's gonna happen? That's what I want. I'm saying of the things that you're sure at the moment aren't gonna happen if, if I had to say one of them might happen. What do you think it might be? Or neither it's fine. But, like, nothing, you couldn't wake up one day be married and think like, oh, okay, I get it. This happened. No, no, okay. Do you feel lonely? No, good, good, yeah, I don't like people a lot. No kidding, just me, you're one of the few. I'm one of the few people you like.
Stacey 1:09:56
You know what? The greatest thing I've learned from this podcast, actually. That I use daily in my life. Tell me when I'm driving and someone's driving like a jackass. I always tell myself they might be in their pants. Yes, I had to tell myself every time I'm
Scott Benner 1:10:14
glad that you got that out of the podcast. I think that's a big takeaway. I think that's a big takeaway for life. Actually, it's just assuming the best of people,
Stacey 1:10:22
and I'll be like, Man, I just want to drive up to them. Be like, I hope you don't your pants. I was like, No, they just then they got to make it to the restroom. Just let
Scott Benner 1:10:29
them go. I would yell, this is water to them. But then they'd be like water, and I'd be like water, and they'd be like water, and I'd be like, never mind. It's a book. And then I'd be like, it's not really a book, it's more it's a commencement speech is bound. Oh, and then by then, they have driven away. So well, I'm, I'm glad that that's a takeaway for you. I think that's a really important takeaway in life, is that maybe the guy passing you 100 miles an hour really just has to take a shit. Maybe he's not asshole who's just driving poorly. The big thing. It does a lot for you when you when you assume better of people like that,
Stacey 1:11:04
it is if you're assuming they're going to be bad, you're bringing that negative energy to you.
Scott Benner 1:11:08
100% true. Look at you. I feel like I've done something. All right, yeah, all right. I'm gonna go on vacation. Also, also Rob for fun. When she says, if there's one thing I learned from this, just cut it off right there. Start playing the ads that play this at the end. No, don't. People won't find it, will they? That'd be hilarious though, wouldn't it? Stacy that would at the very end, because you made like, this very natural pause. And I was like, Oh, I think we should cut this right here. The music should come up and it should be like, thanks to Omnipod for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox,
Stacey 1:11:42
and you can even play it in into early in the podcast when you're talking about it, she's learned this one thing, the major thing that she's learned, she'll let you know at the end.
Scott Benner 1:11:50
All right, listen, Rob, if you have the energy for that, go ahead and do that. That'd be awesome. All right, hold on one second. Stacy, thank you for doing this with me. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. I Dexcom sponsored this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom g7 at my link, dexcom.com/juicebox head now to tandem diabetes.com/juicebox and check out today's sponsor tandem diabetes care. I think you're going to find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the tandem mobi system. Did you know that skin grip has donated over $100,000 in scholarships to help people with diabetes? The people at skin grip, they know what it's like to live with type one diabetes. They know what it's like when your devices fall off at the absolute worst time. And they're here to help skin grip.com/juicebox save 20% off your first order when you use my link. That's what you get for being a Juicebox podcast listener. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The Juicebox podcast
Unknown Speaker 1:13:08
if you're living with type one
Scott Benner 1:13:09
diabetes, the after dark collection from the Juicebox podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more. Go to Juicebox podcast.com. Up in the menu and click on after dark there, you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. If this is your first time listening to the Juicebox podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcast or Spotify, really, any audio app at all. Look for the Juicebox podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold beginnings, the diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes, but everybody is welcome type one type two, gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong way recording.com. You.
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