#1689 Boomer, Cope, Six Seven

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Jaime shares her 2-year-old son’s type 1 diabetes diagnosis, daycare symptoms, CGM and pump choices, caregiver anxiety, marriage and football-family life on the Juicebox Podcast.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox podcast.

Jaime 0:15
Hi, my name is Jamie. I am 39 years old, and I have a son with type one diabetes, and I live in Buffalo, New York.

Scott Benner 0:25
If this is your first time listening to the Juicebox podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcasts or Spotify, really, any audio app at all, look for the Juicebox podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold Beginnings The Diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored by touched by type one. Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram, and, of course, at touched by type one.org check out that Programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes. Touched by type one.org I'm having an on body vibe alert. This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by ever since 365 the only one year wear CGM that's one insertion and one CGM a year, one CGM one year, not every 10 or 14 days ever since cgm.com/juicebox a huge Thanks to my longest sponsor, Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod five now with my link, omnipod.com/juicebox you may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod five starter kit at my link, go check it out. Omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox, hi.

Jaime 2:25
My name is Jamie. I am 39 years old, and I have a son with type one diabetes, and I live in Buffalo, New York. Buffalo.

Scott Benner 2:36
Are they the only undefeated NFL team at this moment,

Jaime 2:39
the Buffalo Bills, didn't we just lose to the Patriots?

Scott Benner 2:43
I thought you won this week. I don't know. That boy is huge. That that quarterback you have there is a big person. He's a big person. Yeah, you're 39 the kid is how old? He's 440, do you have any other little children? I do. I have a six year old, your first baby when you're 33 boys. I did on purpose, by mistake. What

Jaime 3:05
happened? No, I was, I got married at 31 and was, you know, had baby fever,

Scott Benner 3:14
and went from there. You have such a big personality. Thank you. Explain to me I grew up. I mean, you're 39 I'm 15 years older than you. When I was in high school, people were like, you know, I'm gonna get married. And I was like, Yeah, you talk about all the time now, kids like my daughter's 21 i i don't even think she'll tell her boyfriend she likes him. What's the shift? Because you don't come off like mousey to me, I don't think you would not be a person who dated like you, just not interested in it. Or did it like is the timeline different for you? Can you explain that all to me? Do you know I'm asking,

Jaime 3:52
yeah, so I actually did get married at 25 and that was just a quick oops. This was a terrible mistake.

Scott Benner 4:00
Got out of it quickly. How quickly did you know it was a mistake?

Jaime 4:04
So we were living in New York City, and he was in the army, and we moved to Texas, and as soon as we moved away from all of the distraction, the friends and the, you know, being able to be home in three hours and and that kind of stuff, we realized that we were better roommates than husband and wife.

Scott Benner 4:24
Gotcha, it was mutual. Yeah, it was mutual. Oh, no kidding, that's nice. Do you still know him? Not really. Okay, that's fine.

Jaime 4:32
No. I mean, I don't follow him on social media or anything

Scott Benner 4:34
like that. You don't check in once while I go. You remember that time we got married? No, how long were you actually married to him? A year. No kidding, probably doesn't even seem like it happened, right?

Jaime 4:45
It doesn't. It feels like a it feels like a total, totally different lifetime.

Scott Benner 4:49
Did you do it? Because it felt like the thing to do. You

Jaime 4:51
know, it was a weird time in my life. My my step brother had just passed away in a car accident, and it was one of those grieving. Being kind of grasping onto anything you could possibly grasp onto, and he happened to be the thing that I grasped onto.

Scott Benner 5:07
No kidding. Do you think he figured it out first? Or you did? I think he

Jaime 5:11
would have probably he was a very kind of complacent person, so he would have just stayed in it and been

Scott Benner 5:17
miserable. Could have had a house and a car and an unhappy wife. Yeah, sounds fun. I mean, it's going okay. For me, it's so I'm just kidding. I'm sure you are okay. So that happened, and that does that slow your role on the next Do you spend that time dating? Does it slow you down? How do you handle that space in between getting married again?

Jaime 5:40
So I moved back to Pittsburgh, where I was living before that, and I was thriving. For sure, yeah. I was yeah, oh yeah. I was working, started to get my MBA. Was dating. I didn't necessarily love the whole dating scene, but when I got my MBA, it was, it was an executive program. So we, there were 32 of us, and we were all in class together, all day, Friday and all day, Saturday every other week for a year and a half. It wasn't like a typical like, you meet someone in class and, you know, you become friends. It was like we were tight, right? And that was really, really fun. Yeah. It sounds like you loved it. Actually, yeah, it was great. I mean, I have very fond memories of that. And actually, that's how I met my husband. Oh, I was getting my MBA with this girl, Susie, and Susie worked with this other girl, Angela, and I promise I'm going somewhere with this. Angela was getting married to my husband's brother, and she could not wait to get him out of the house. She was like, I gotta find Matt. Matt's my husband a girlfriend, to get him out of the house. And Susie was like, Well, I have a friend. She's single, and they threw spaghetti at the wall. And it worked. It stuck. Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 6:58
crazy. They used she was like, bait. And then you just were like, No, this is good. We'll stay. Yeah. So, okay, so you basically were just helping. You were being a wing woman. And when you meet him, what about him? Says to you, like, this is right. This time I got this, his

Jaime 7:15
mom. It took a couple months wait his mom. Yeah, his mom really was the thing that convinced me to stick around, how because she's just so

Scott Benner 7:24
wonderful. You thought this lady is so delightful. There's got to be something going on with this guy. I'm not seeing right now. Yeah,

Jaime 7:33
I mean, he's kind of gruff. He's a football coach. You know? He's when he showed up at my doorstep on our first date chewing gum, and I was just, we were going to a nice restaurant, and I was like, I don't know about this. And I was, I was probably too picky at the time, because I just didn't really have any interest in anything having fun. Do you think he was handsome? Oh yeah, he's so handsome.

Scott Benner 7:58
Oh, okay, that part was like, so there's enough of a reason to hang for a second. Yeah, yeah. He's very nice to look at, but you figured he was going to be a dullard. No, I

Jaime 8:08
just the gum thing. And then we showed up, and you know, he was like, buddy, buddy with the valet at the restaurant. And I was like, I don't know about this guy. Like, I think he's into himself. Like, just wasn't really feeling it.

Scott Benner 8:21
How'd you meet his mom so quickly? Then isn't the Meet the mom thing pretty later usually? Well, it

Jaime 8:26
was, that was two months later. I stuck around for two months, and then I met the mom.

Scott Benner 8:31
So you thought he was gruff and all these things, but you Oh, were you enjoying the rest of it?

Jaime 8:38
Well, I mean, he okay. So a week after we went on our first date, he I was in an auction, a dating auction.

Scott Benner 8:46
Oh, okay, that slowed me down for a second, but okay, go ahead.

Jaime 8:49
Yeah, so I was being auctioned off for a date for the American Heart Association. Oh, nice. And my friends were going to come with me. And my friend Susie, who set this whole thing up. Had talked to him before that, and she was like, Well, do you want us to bet on her for you? And he goes, Yeah, don't lose. So, you know he he bet on me and won me, and we met up afterwards. He wasn't even at the auction. We met up afterwards and had some drinks, and

Scott Benner 9:22
then I liked him. All right, did the drinks help? The drinks helped? Yeah. I mean,

Jaime 9:28
I think it was the buying me at auction that really was like, All right, this guy's kind of romantic.

Scott Benner 9:32
It's cute. I'm gonna go, What's the going rate for a Jamie at the auction? What did that cost?

Jaime 9:36
You know, what I think it was like. I think it was like, $400

Scott Benner 9:40
Oh, did you feel like you owed him the 400 bucks? Somehow? No, no good for you. It's awesome. Well, this is nice. Okay, so he, he used his what he had to keep you in. Then you meet, I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm fascinated by this. So then you meet the mom, and you're like, Oh, my God, this is a, this is a situation I'd like to. Be around,

Jaime 10:00
yeah, so I meet, I meet his mom, and we just really hit it off. She's so much fun. And we, I think we went, we ended up going camping at the end of that summer. So this was February that we met, and then by August, you know, I had been up to, they had a lake house at the time. They live there full time now, but this was just like their little cottage at the time. So I had been there a couple times. I brought my dog, and we just had so much fun. And then we went camping, and we just, like, it was just her and I and then football season was, was started up, and I don't know, I was like, well, if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna be married to a football coach, I'm gonna have to get along with his family and enjoy being around his family, because, like, right now, we're in season, and I don't see the football coach very much, but I see his family.

Scott Benner 10:53
I gotcha, that all makes sense. Did he coach like, high school or college or

Jaime 10:57
no, he coaches at the University of Buffalo. He's the offensive line coach. Oh, that's pretty awesome. Did he play himself? Yeah, he played at Duquesne in Pittsburgh. Oh,

Scott Benner 11:05
I know that place. Yeah, what got you from? Oh, the job probably from Pittsburgh to Buffalo. That was,

Jaime 11:12
yeah, it was, it was the job my so we had just had my oldest son was turning two, and my younger son was four months old, and he walked in the bedroom and was like, Do you want to move to Buffalo? No, I just had a baby, and all of our families in Pittsburgh, and, you know, we had just bought our dream home, and,

Scott Benner 11:36
and he's like, I want to go teach five big guys how to push Yeah.

Jaime 11:42
Will you come with me? Yeah, I guess I will. I guess I signed up for this, didn't I,

Scott Benner 11:47
yeah, I guess since the kids look like you, I'll come along. Do you work? Or are you a full time mom? Or how do you handle it?

Jaime 11:55
So I do some things for work. Before diabetes came to our family. I had a staffing company that was, you know, thriving, and then diabetes hit, and I that had to go into maintenance mode. So I wasn't really building new business at the time. But now we're two years in, and I'm feeling like it's, I'm I'm ready to back to it. Make that a business. Again, good

Scott Benner 12:21
for you. That's awesome. Yeah. So the diabetes came in Buffalo, or Pittsburgh, buffalo, Buffalo. Tell me about it.

Jaime 12:29
So it was September 2023, my son was two years old. He started peeing through his diapers at daycare. I didn't really think anything of it. I was just like, he's just kind of a monster. He eats a lot, but then he started looking a little bit skinnier. I think he lost two pounds. And he was, you know, 30 pounds at the time. So two pounds was noticeable, right? It was actually one of the daycare workers in his room, who was just a nice, quiet young man. He wouldn't have said anything if he wasn't concerned. And he said to me, Luke's peeing through his diapers. I think you might need to take him to the doctor. But nobody ever said anything about diabetes. And I went home and I Googled it, as soon as I started seeing the symptoms of type one I go, I remember I was actually sitting exactly where I am right now, having a drink with my husband, and I looked at him and I said, Luke has type one diabetes. And he, of course, is like, no, like, let's just wait. We're going to the doctor in the morning. And I was like, I know he does. And we went to the doctor in the morning, and they did a finger stick, and it read high. And I was like, well, he just had a popsicle, like I had, I had no clue. I had no idea, you know, what a normal blood sugar was, or even really what a blood sugar was at all, because I didn't have to know Sure. So they checked in. They were like, you know, popsicle probably wouldn't have done that. Go home, pack a bag. We're gonna call the hospital. They're gonna meet, they're gonna admit you. And I go, wait what? I'm like, we're gonna stay overnight. What do you mean? And they were like, just go down. Tell them who you are. They're waiting for you. So we go and, you know, they check his blood sugar, and it was, I think one of the ratings was, like over 1000

Unknown Speaker 14:25
is he in DK? At that point,

Jaime 14:28
he was not in DK. He had ketones, but he was not in DK

Scott Benner 14:32
DKA, because the magic daycare fairy knew about diabetes. Am I right or No, he just saw the peeing thing and thought that was enough to say something. This episode is brought to you by Omnipod. Would you ever buy a car without test driving it first? That's a big risk to take on a pretty large investment. You wouldn't do that, right? So why would you do it? When it comes to choosing an insulin pump, most pumps come with a four year lock in period. It through the DME channel, and you don't even get to try it first, but not Omnipod five. Omnipod five is available exclusively through the pharmacy, which means it doesn't come with a typical four year DME lock in period. Plus you can get started with a free 30 day trial to be sure it's the right choice for you or your family. My daughter has been wearing an Omnipod every day for 17 years. Are you ready to give Omnipod five a try? Request your free Starter Kit today at my link, omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox find my link in the show notes of this podcast player, or at Juicebox podcast.com Why would you settle for changing your CGM every few weeks when you can have 365 days of reliable glucose data? Today's episode is sponsored by the ever since 365 it is the only CGM with a tiny sensor that lasts a full year sitting comfortably under your skin with no more frequent sensor changes and essentially no compression lows. For one year, you'll get your CGM data in real time on your phone, smart watch, Android or iOS, even an Apple Watch predictive high and low alerts let you know where your glucose is headed before it gets there. So there's no surprises, just confidence, and you can instantly share that data with your healthcare provider or your family. You're going to get one year of reliable data without all those sensor changes. That's the ever since 365, gentle on your skin, strong for your life, one sensor a year. That gives you one less thing to worry about. Head now to ever since cgm.com/juicebox to get started,

Jaime 16:50
I can't say what was going through their mind. I know. I know. After the fact, I spoke to the head teacher in his room, and she said that she thought it was diabetes, but she didn't want to use the word diabetes because she didn't want to scare

Scott Benner 17:04
me. Okay, but they pushed hard enough with the idea of going to a doctor to try to get you to do that people were

Jaime 17:09
concerned enough that I yeah, it jolted me to take action

Scott Benner 17:16
in hindsight. Is there an autoimmune in your side of the family or or or your husband?

Jaime 17:21
Yeah, there is so we've got some arthritis, some thyroid stuff, no diabetes, though there was type two. My grandmother had type two when she was much older, thyroid.

Scott Benner 17:33
Okay, how about you personally? No, I don't have any autoimmune in the football boy, anything for him, not that I know of. No. Maybe being gruff is autoimmune.

Jaime 17:42
Yeah, I mean bowling in china shop. Maybe I

Scott Benner 17:47
like how you describe your son as a monster. I don't know he's kind of a monster.

Jaime 17:51
So well, he was eating like 12 waffles, and we were like, What is going on here? He's growing, guys, he's growing. Meanwhile, his body's not getting any nutrition.

Scott Benner 18:03
Did you toast them or was eating them frozen? At some point he would have eaten them frozen if I would have served them that way. Crazy. So now you're in the hospital, and you're you're coming to grips and everything. What is your understanding leaving the hospital, and how has it changed since then

Jaime 18:20
leaving the hospital. So we got a Dexcom the same day we were still in the emergency room, and I asked for one. And the endocrinologist that we were speaking to, who's actually now our endocrinologist, was like, how do you know about that? I was like, Well, I saw it on one of the peloton instructors.

Scott Benner 18:40
That's where you saw it on Robin arzon. Like,

Jaime 18:47
why that? Like, for some reason that popped into my head. I was like, I know there's something that monitors this. And then you I'm not leaving here having to stick my son 10 times a

Scott Benner 18:56
day. So you're like, the little chick that rides on the screen when I'm doing my peloton has diabetes, and there's a thing stuck to her. And you did she talk about it? Did she say the words ever?

Jaime 19:06
I don't think so. Where did you figure that out at then, I don't know. My brain just was gone a million miles a minute.

Scott Benner 19:13
No kidding. Well, you pulled that right out of your That's awesome. Yeah.

Jaime 19:17
So she sent it in, and I went to the, you know, I had to go to three different pharmacies to get the receiver and, you know, all the stuff that comes with the initial kit,

Scott Benner 19:26
harried, feeling like, just crazy, right? Like end of the world's coming. We're trying to pack the car with supplies and drive away from the volcano, that kind

Jaime 19:34
of feeling, yeah. I mean, it's one of those situations where it's like, okay, as soon as I get home, I can cry. But here, like, what am I gonna do? I gotta, I gotta learn everything. Yeah.

Scott Benner 19:44
How long were you in the hospital? One night, one night I got you out of there, yeah,

Jaime 19:49
so they I, we had our, our diabetes training the next morning, at like 11am my husband stayed with my son overnight. He had a game that day. Yeah. He stayed with him overnight, and then went to the game and I came back down to the hospital. Gosh, when do you cry? Well, after that, I cried for probably a year and a half.

Scott Benner 20:09
Okay, tell me about that, please. Well, are you gonna cry now?

Jaime 20:20
I don't think so, but just thinking about it makes me just so sad for for him, and just I remember when he started school last year, he I cried probably every day. I cried to the nurse when I met with her, I cried to his teacher when I found out that she had raised a daughter with type one, and I was just like, oh, like, God is shining on me, you know, yeah, because we're going to the school. And I was so I was terrified to send him to school, even though he had been in daycare before. Like, this was school, and it wasn't like four kids to one teacher, it was a whole classroom full of kids.

Scott Benner 20:58
Yeah, yeah. And so you're worried at every step, and anytime you you open up to tell somebody what's happening, all those emotions come out of you.

Jaime 21:07
Oh yeah. I mean, it was just like water works every and every time I saw the nurse, probably for two months, I would cry, emotional.

Scott Benner 21:14
Or am I in generally emotional? Yeah, generally speaking, are you? I don't think I

Jaime 21:19
was as much before I had kids, I don't think I am as emotional now that I have accepted the

Scott Benner 21:26
fact that this is our life. Okay. Were you depressed in that time? Do you think there were times where I was very depressed? Yeah, so much so that you told somebody or you just were paying attention to it.

Jaime 21:36
I was paying attention to it and talking to my husband. Okay? And what do you think I went to one therapy session and therapist called me an elitist.

Scott Benner 21:49
Wait, hold on, we'll get back. No, actually, do that? Actually, the way you're laughing. I'm wondering if they were right, but like, but wait, what was why did that happen?

Jaime 21:58
Well, I was okay. So we were eight months in. It was last summer. It was our first summer, and I had gone to this, you know, one of these diabetes meetups, where it's all the moms with all their kids and and I just felt like such an imposter. I was like, we're not supposed to be here. We don't have this in our family. This isn't, this isn't part of our story, like it was. I was just in such denial, yeah, that I just couldn't accept it. And I was, you know, racking my brain for anything that I could come up with that could have caused it, like, was it vaccines? Was it, you know, what? What was it? Was it this cold that he had, or the RSV he had when he was six months old? Like, I just couldn't, I couldn't put my finger on it, and my brain couldn't accept that. And I told him that, and he called me an elitist.

Scott Benner 22:44
Well, he's probably not a very good therapist, but I never went back. So by the way, let's say you were, how does that change how he's supposed to help you? Let's not get off on that tangent. But like, that's not, that's not well done by him. Let's say you could have put your finger on it and said it was absolutely this. My kid had RSV, and that's what happened. I can see the whole function here of how it turned into type one diabetes. I'm just making this up, right? Yeah. What would that have done for you?

Jaime 23:08
I actually don't know. I never, my brain never went to the point where it was like, If This Then That it was always, what is

Scott Benner 23:17
this? I need to know why this happened, yeah, but to no end. Not, like, I need to know why this happened, because that knowledge excessively, yeah, that knowledge will help me something,

Jaime 23:26
nothing. Yeah, like, we did genetic testing, we did all kinds of stuff. Oh,

Scott Benner 23:31
because you were like, this shouldn't be happening. Yeah,

Jaime 23:33
I had no preparation for it. And that's something that I've struggled in the past. Is just anxiety of not, you know, not knowing what's going to happen. And I think that's what really made me obsess over. It was just the fact that I didn't have time to prepare.

Scott Benner 23:51
You could have used that anxiety a little bit when you married some boy in Texas. It would have been nice if it said to you, Hey, I wonder what's going to happen. We probably

Jaime 23:59
shouldn't do this. Could have been the reason that I had it. I mean, oh, maybe

Scott Benner 24:04
that's what brought it around. I need some anxiety, because without it, I seem to do things I shouldn't be doing, right? Well, this is very fascinating. I appreciate you sharing all this with me, and by the way, your intake form said, I don't know what we're going to talk about, so you put yourself in this position for me to pick through your life. I apologize about that. Now. Totally fine. Okay, so felt depressed at times. Shared that with your husband. Did he feel depressed? Was he handling it differently than you were?

Jaime 24:29
I would like to say the voice of reason, but it's more everything's going to be fine. And that was very frustrating for me, because when he says everything's going to be fine, I'm like, how, how's it going to be fine? Because of me, like, that's how it's going to be fine, is I'm going to educate myself like the burden is on me for it to be fine.

Scott Benner 24:50
Oh, you do have anxiety. Oh, yeah, how about that? I recognize this for some lady who I married, that whole idea of, like, the way you just laid. That out is so crystal clear, because he's telling you, we're going to work it out it's going to be okay, right? And that's probably true, and also it's probably true that it's going to be okay, because of all the things you're going to learn about it to help it get along. If you weren't there, would he have that attitude and learn the stuff? Or do you think he'd throw it up to God and wait and see what

Jaime 25:23
happened? I'm not sure what would have happened if I weren't

Scott Benner 25:25
here. He's just gonna go, maybe we should go hit the sled. That'll fix it. Well,

Jaime 25:29
he's like a 40 year old Boomer, like he doesn't he's not a tech guy, like, I'm the one that we've gone through. You know, four different pumps and three different insulins and the CGM were pretty stable on we've switched from the g6 to the g7 but I don't consider that like a change on me. You know, right? I'm always the one that's changing things to make things better, and I just don't know that he would have done that.

Scott Benner 25:58
You sometimes change things and it's not better and you're just tinkering too much. Or have you been pretty good paced so

Jaime 26:04
far, I've been trying not to over tinker. Okay? I think at the beginning with the pumps, I probably overdid it. I'm interested in that. Now I'm I'm very happy with where we are. What pump did you start with? We started on the tea slim,

Scott Benner 26:19
and then you switched. And now you're like, maybe I even shouldn't have done that well.

Jaime 26:23
And then we went to the Moby because we were in this, like, very short window where it was like, you can upgrade to the Moby for, you know, a couple 100 bucks. So I did that, and then I just didn't feel like I had enough, enough insight into his diabetes when he wasn't with me. And so we tried loop. I didn't like loop. And then we, when trio came along, we switched to that, and I'm very happy with it.

Scott Benner 26:50
That's where you're at now, yeah, what didn't you like about loop? The fake carbs. You had to keep telling it you were eating stuff that you weren't. You couldn't fix it with settings, right?

Jaime 27:01
I mean, I probably could have fixed it with settings, but I didn't. You didn't. I didn't. You know it was just at the time my brain couldn't do it.

Scott Benner 27:10
So you weren't ready to figure out how to do it. So you kept pivoting, thinking the answer was another device. Yeah, yeah. Can I say something? Everybody listening? Sure, whatever device you're using is probably great. Oh, they're all great. Yeah, if you're having trouble with it, you may not understand completely how to use it, or you might not understand the impacts of your food or timing of insulin. Are some of the algorithms better one thing than the other, absolutely. But they're all very, very, very solid. And probably

Jaime 27:38
I did love tandem. I loved it. I thought it was great, but I just couldn't see. I couldn't see what I needed to see to make informed decisions when I wasn't with him.

Scott Benner 27:49
Okay? And that anxiety then forced you to keep trying something new. Yes, you still have the anxiety now,

Jaime 27:56
not as much. I've learned to let go a little bit, to not look at my phone constantly and check his blood sugar. But it took two mental breakdowns, actually, this summer, I took a week long trip, turned all my devices off. He was with Matt. Had a week off over the summer, and I just said, I need to go. And I turned everything off. And he and his lovely mother took care of my son, both sons,

Scott Benner 28:24
you're right about that lady,

Jaime 28:25
right? She's, listen, I knew

Scott Benner 28:29
Jamie's like, Listen, if push comes to shove, I'd marry her and get rid of him. If I had to break downs, like classic, you know, or just be me. Just needed to walk away. What happened?

Jaime 28:43
Just total overwhelm. I mean, this past year, it happened because the boys got out of school June 11, and I just, I didn't have a good plan, and so we went from me trying to get my business back going, and they're in school and had a really good routine. And then summer hit, and I was like, you didn't

Scott Benner 29:09
have a plan for summer.

Jaime 29:10
No, I didn't have a plan. And it just it hit me so hard. And two weeks in, I was like, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. It was just like, we went from having a spreadsheet with, you know, lunch in it, to wanting to snack all day. And I was like, my brain, my brain is an overload.

Scott Benner 29:30
How do you like me? I don't I would never do any of those spreadsheet you just made. My Do you ever see the that movie with the lady with the big lips, the Erin Brockovich lady? Her real name is, sorry, we're playing charades, Julia Roberts. And she's in England where she meets a boy and falls in love. And she's famous. That one's called God nodding Hill, nodding Hill. Good job. And the boy has a roommate who says, I'm going to tell you a story that'll Share. Your balls to the size of raisins?

Jaime 30:01
No, I don't remember that. I've watched Notting Hill since I was like, 11.

Scott Benner 30:06
Well, okay, now I have to watch it anyway. There's a line in the movie that says that that's what, that's how I felt when you said spreadsheet. I was like, spreadsheet. Oh, my God, that's terrible. And, but why do you like me? If I'm like, No, it'll be fine. Just do these things, and you're you have a spreadsheet. Where do we find an intersection you and I,

Jaime 30:27
like you as the podcast host, yeah,

Scott Benner 30:29
yeah. Not me as, like, the like, the guy who you don't know, but like, like the podcast and you know, the group, even the vibe there. Like, why is that like, why is that comforting

Jaime 30:37
to you? Well, because whenever it's funny, because I you pop into my head a lot. I'm sorry, and it's, it's for interesting reasons. So one of them is, like, in the middle of the night when I'm waking up to give juice, I'm like, All right, I just got to bump and nudge this like, Damn you, Scott, at

Scott Benner 30:58
least it's nothing creepy that your husband's gonna come beat me up over that's awesome. No,

Jaime 31:02
no. And then it's funny. I mean, it's just like, like, today I texted the my son's teacher, and we have like, a group chat with the teacher and the nurse, and I was like, can you just give him, like, half of a glucose tab because he was going down? And, you know, I knew it's when I have to trust that I know what's going to happen before it happens. That's when I think of you,

Scott Benner 31:24
oh, okay, I'm glad. If I could say one thing to you, I'd say worry is a waste of imagination and trust that what you know is going to happen is going to happen, those things can help you a lot. You know, it occurs to me, as you're talking about this, I feel like we, maybe as a society, talk about anxiety all the time, like it's bad. I'm not saying it's good, but I think some of it can be good. And as an example, you said earlier you had a really successful self built business, yeah, and I bet the way your brain works helps a lot with that. It does. Yeah, but did you feel anxious about the job, about the business? No, no, but it's the it's the part where your kid could get sick or hurt or something like that, that adds to it.

Jaime 32:02
Yeah, it's just the anticipation of not knowing what's going to happen. And I think my husband helps with that, because he's like, you know, he helps and hurts with the everything's going to be fine. Because I'm like, he's like, nobody's going to miss a meal. And I'm like, okay, like, that doesn't help me in this moment, but thank you for

Scott Benner 32:19
that nobody's going to miss a meal. Is that, that's his way of saying, We're doing fine. It's gonna be okay. Yes, yeah, it's interesting, because that little bit of a, like, I'm not an anxious person, but I have drive and, like, so, like, I built this podcast off of the drive. As a matter of fact, I've been struggling the last month or so with being bored, and it's really getting to me. Like, I don't, that's interesting. Yeah, I have this thing running so smoothly now that I'm just like, oh, I need more to do. Like, I want to accomplish something or make something bigger or better or stronger or faster, or something like, I can't, like, we can't just sit here and just nurture this thing like this. Like, even though it's great and it does it. I could do I could keep doing it like this forever, yeah, but I don't have anything to conquer, and that's tough for me, like, really, really hard. That's a level of anxiety, but it doesn't make it is, yeah, no, I know it is. Now I can sit here and tell you over and over again that I'm not an anxious person, but let me tell you a story where I will open up for a second. Jamie, you ready? Ready? I have a group chat with my brothers. You know, we text. We're boys. We text all the time, or not at all, or sometimes just about sports, or sometimes about kids, or, you know, like, whatever, and, you know, back and forth. And yesterday, my we're five years apart. I'm the oldest. I don't know if I ever said their names on here. Brian's the next youngest. He's five years younger than me, and Rob's the next youngest. He's 10 years younger than me. And Brian texts and says his weight. He's been using a GLP. Had type two. He had pre diabetes, you know, almost as it like, non diabetic levels, lost a bunch of weight. Said, like, Hey, this is my weight. I haven't been this weight. I don't even know when, and we're like, you know, Hey, man, that's awesome, or congratulating them and stuff like that. My brother, Rob, who's younger, has been in a situation where his company bought up another company, but they weren't going to be the dominant executive structure. And so there was a lot of concern that the other company was going to bring their people in, and they're he's been worried he's going to lose his job for a couple years, right? So my one brother tells us all that he's lost some weight, doing great. We're real like, you know, that's cool. 45 minutes an hour later, Rob texts, and I want to find it, because it seems so benign. He says, my weights down to this blah blah. We do all the thing and everything. Like an hour and a half later, my other brother says, we're still waiting for the official announcement, but I was told by my manager today that I'm in the plan, and I burst into tears. I'm 54, years old, but I raise. Raised those two like my mom and dad got divorced when I was 13. I don't know that I did a good job, but I raised my brothers right? And if you told me, if I was worried about them, I'd say, No, Rob's gonna do great. He's fine, like, he does good work. They'll they'll see that. They'll keep him. It's exactly what I've been telling him for two years. Like, don't worry, man, I'm just gonna work out. I never in a million years would have told you that I was nervous, anxious, worried about Rob, and I was washing dishes, and it got announced through my headphones, like there's a text message from Robert blah blah blah, still waiting for official announcement, but was told by my manager today that I didn't have a second to think. My eyes exploded. Water came flying out of my face, and I started crying uncontrollably, yeah? And I thought, Oh, my God, how long have I been worried about Rob that? I didn't know that. You know what I mean, like, so it's easy for me to sit and say, like, I don't have anxiety. Maybe it's because I manage it better, but that's not me managing it. It's just the way my body works, like it's, I can't take any credit for it. You know what I mean? Anyway, that's a lot of talking. But I texted and then I texted him, I told him, I was like, oh God. And then we talked about it, like, I actually said, I'm crying. I'm so happy for you, but I don't know if I'm happy for you or just relieved not to worry about you, right? You know what I mean? Like, it's really great. And then, like, there's some nice things that were said. My other brother said, I won the brother lottery. That was really nice. Like, stuff, it was really lovely, actually. And it hit me for a couple minutes, like, it wasn't just like, oh. And then I like, let it go. Like, Arden walked in the room. She goes, Are you crying? Like, yes, not gonna explain to her why I'm crying. You know what I mean? And, um, and and then she's like, oh. And then she was nice to me, so I think she, like, gave me a hug. And I was like, Oh, this is lovely. Like, she's gonna be a real person too one day. My point is, is that whatever that is, it's part of the reason why I'm successful at this, yeah. And I think it's probably also part of the reason why I'm successful at the diabetes stuff too, but I don't have whatever that slice of it is. Like you alluded you didn't allude to it you said earlier, like I probably wasn't this emotional before I had kids. So is it like, do you think it's a mix of that anxiety that is valuable in your life, in some places and probably valuable in this place, but then mixed together with what hormones and and worry like, how do you describe the stew that it is?

Jaime 37:24
I would say it's definitely hormones. I don't know. I think you just your empathy increases when you have kids. I would think, I mean, is that how it feels to you? Yeah, I mean, I think I'm much better at relating to people that I don't, that I wouldn't necessarily relate to otherwise. I think it's, it's a big mixture of all the things. But having kids changes you. It totally changes you, right?

Scott Benner 37:53
And you're mad. You feel like it's, it's kind of, what's the word? Because it's settling in. I can't believe I said that. Because people are like, how's your diabetes? Is it settling in? Do you find, like, you're finding, like, a balance with it as time goes past? You are,

Jaime 38:06
yeah, but it took about two years, two years, yeah. I mean, even, even last month. So we just switched insulin again last month because I was just having the hardest time and just having, you know, lows upon lows, we were just, we had a nice stretch where it was like no issues, and then it just went haywire. Then we switched insulin, and now we're back to a good place. But I think it it ebbs and

Scott Benner 38:30
flows. What made you switch to insulin and what'd you switch from to? I

Jaime 38:34
switched from a Pedra to fiosp, and it just felt like it felt like the carbs just hit his little body so hard that I needed something that was gonna hit hard

Scott Benner 38:46
back faster. They are two different profiles for sure. Yeah, the the A

Jaime 38:52
Pedro, it was good. It just felt like it took so long to do what I needed it to do.

Scott Benner 38:59
I like a Pedro because it's, how does it feel? Like more consistent, or like spread out? I don't know how to put that exactly. You don't get like, a fast crash from it. And that's me. Yeah,

Jaime 39:10
I did notice that. I did. I did like that with that. And I liked that there wasn't, like, a tail,

Scott Benner 39:16
yeah, it doesn't see

Jaime 39:19
we were on Nova log before that. And there it just seemed like hours later, it was like a tail and we he would dump

Scott Benner 39:26
that's what got me from Nova log to a Pedra. Yeah, is the like, you know, two a lot of two arrows up before I really understood how to Bolus. But then a lot of crashing later. And then I switched her to a Pedra a long time ago, and it hasn't been like that since. But it also is not like. It's not going to be like fiasp, where you're like, where it works more quickly. Now, how long has he been using

Jaime 39:52
fiasp? Five pods in so

Scott Benner 39:56
couple weeks. You know, some people report that that fast action kind. Of dissipates over time. Oh, great. Keep an eye out for that. I will. I'm not saying it'll happen for sure, but like, that's it. And he doesn't, he's not, um, it doesn't sting or burn for

Jaime 40:11
him. No, no, no in the other another thing with with a Pedro, why we switch is at the like, end of the last day. So day three on the pod, it was like, just not working. And that started maybe two months ago. And I was like, What's going on here? It just like, after that day three pod, it was, it was just like, highs,

Scott Benner 40:35
yeah, all the time. Gotcha. You know, earlier you called your husband a would you call him a something Boomer? Oh, a 40 year old

Boomer? Yeah, you called him a 40 year old Boomer, which I found hilarious, and it made me bring up, like all the generational titles in front of me to look at. And I realized, because how old is he? When was he born? What was his birth date? 1984 Yeah, he's a millennial. Yeah, right. But, and by the way, for people who don't track this stuff, connected and digital, care about purpose, social issues, value experiences over things, that's a millennial, baby boomer, post war, growth, optimistic, hard working, competitive, value, status, stability. Grew up during a rise in prosperity, a rising prosperity. It's interesting because I, as I looked, I realized, I think I'm I'm a blend of, like, three of these. And I don't know how that happened.

Jaime 41:30
Well, it could be because you had younger brothers too, because

Scott Benner 41:33
that's what I started wondering, like, how much of it is? How old your parents are? If you're overlapping generations and your parents are younger or older. Does it drag you in one direction or the other? How much of it does my job

Jaime 41:45
or and well, and having to have that parental role at a young age probably have something to

Scott Benner 41:51
do with it. Because as you look through these Have you ever done this for yourself?

Jaime 41:55
Not really. I'm a millennial, but like I'm I'm 100%

Scott Benner 41:59
right in there. Oh, yeah, because Gen X, independent, pragmatic, resourceful, skeptical of authority, first, digital adopters. That's literally that describes me. But I'm also optimistic, hard working, competitive and values status and stability. I have that too. And then you slide the other way to millennials, connected and digital. I 100% I am, but I think that's my job. Yeah, care about purpose. I really, sincerely do social issues. Yes, value experiences over things and yeah, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't put that one on me. And then you go to Z, digital narrative, socially aware. Expect inclusion and authenticity. Fast moving multitasker. I am digitally connected. Fast moving multitasker. This stuff in this stuff in the middle there. Like, I have my social like, opinions. But I also don't think I'm in charge of the world. I don't think I'm going to be able to, you know what I mean, like, you know when somebody's, like, using their Instagram, like they're gonna fix the world with it, I'm like, I don't think that's gonna work. That part I wouldn't fall into.

Jaime 43:08
So you're not an elitist. I'm not an elitist.

Scott Benner 43:12
I don't know people have called me that.

Jaime 43:16
I'm sure they have Yeah, for saying you're just misunderstood.

Scott Benner 43:20
It's possible. I also, like, maybe not, who knows? I couldn't begin to tell you. Generation alpha, born to screens and smart devices, highly connected. First fully 21st, century. Generation, yeah, that's our that's my kids. I gotta think that, but that's how I feel now. Well, you have to be I guess so. And then generation beta, just beginning, expected to be more immersed in the AI, digital tech, global change. Wait, we're already done with alpha. Alpha's over 2010 to 2024 beta started. 2025 Do you not hear yourself and all those things?

Jaime 43:55
Yeah. I mean, everything's cross generational, like we learn things from our parents, you know, my husband, he skipped right over millennial and Gen X and went straight to Boomer.

Speaker 1 44:08
Is it the football thing? Do you think it could be? I

Jaime 44:11
mean, he just, he uses his phone, like he has to be on Twitter and stuff for for football, but otherwise, I don't know that. Like, I think he would just be one of those people that just kind of left their phone in the car, you know, if he did not, if he didn't have to be connected, I don't think he would be right like his. I remember hearing a story about his dad when he they first got cell phones, his voicemail was like, Hey, this is John. I'm not in my car right now. Like, that's why he wasn't answering his phone because he wasn't in his car right now. The

Scott Benner 44:42
car is where the phone is, and that's why you're not hearing from me right now. And that's that, yeah, that's 20 years removed from if that the machines existed back, then he'd be like, Hey, I mean, I'm not in the kitchen, so that's why I'm not here, right? The cord doesn't reach to where I was. I. It's right. I think this might just be like, the I don't know. Maybe this is more like, you know, I'm a cancer, I'm an Aries, like, kind of bull that also sometimes is right on, you know what? I mean, like, I don't know. I just You cracked me up when you said 40 year old Boomer, because I know enough about it to know that that was really funny, but not enough about that's why I pulled up, because I don't know enough about it. Like, I don't know what a millennial is or Gen Z, I don't, I wouldn't have been able to tell you that on my own, right?

Jaime 45:28
So interesting. The reason I said that was because, like, I build the apps, like I do the updating on on the apps, and I'm the one that's tweaking everything in his his diabetes care via trio at this point and like, I just don't think my husband could do it if he had to. Could he I don't think so. You know who I think could if they had to his mom, his mom,

Scott Benner 45:50
that lady you married? Yeah, I wonder if he knows he's allowed to have sex either because of how great his mom is. Does he ever thank her?

He should. That's awesome. I hope he hears this. Oh, he will, Oh, that's good. Also, football's cool. I like football. Yeah. Football is cool, yeah. Do you go to

Jaime 46:15
games? Yeah, we go to all the home games and some of the, some of the away games, nice.

Scott Benner 46:20
The kids go to, yep, that's awesome. How do you find managing the diabetes in the cold at the games? We don't go to the cold games for that reason, or because you don't want to be cold. Well,

Jaime 46:31
because in November, the Mac turns into action, and they play on Tuesday and Wednesday nights at seven o'clock or eight o'clock.

Scott Benner 46:39
Oh, bad timing. And my kids are four and six. Yeah? Well, that makes sense, yeah. Like, now, with the technology being the way it is, it's occurred to me a few winters in a row, like, how different it used to be. It was freezing out. You're, like, pulling out a meter all the time to check blood sugars. People's hands were cold and like, yeah, no, that really happens much anymore now, with CGM and stuff like that, and pumps and, you know, like, when you're you're overdressed for the weather, and your kids, like, only wants to take a shot in their leg. And you know what? I mean, you're just like, I guess we'll get hard through the snow suit. Go in the car. We'll take your pants off. We'll get it warm in there first. Like, I've done all that, or been in, like, you know, sure, public places where you're like, Well, we have to go somewhere because she doesn't want it, like, in a place that's accessible. I will tell you that I have in the past, given injections through clothing, which I know you are not supposed to do, right? But it's definitely happened, yeah, and now it does all just a little easier, and that, as I'm looking at this generation beta thing, it's making me wonder, like, I wonder how it'll change again.

Jaime 47:42
Could you imagine being called Generation beta?

Scott Benner 47:45
That seems weird, right? Like how emasculating the next one

Jaime 47:49
gonna be? It's gotta be C, whatever C is,

Scott Benner 47:53
is it just gonna keep going kappa. You went to college. You gotta

Jaime 47:58
I did. I was in a sorority too, and I had to learn the Greek alphabet. But it's just, it's escaping me right now. What

Scott Benner 48:03
was the MBA in business? It's Masters in Business, like it was, with a focus, though, on something

Jaime 48:08
being awesome.

Scott Benner 48:12
No formal cohort governing body defines generational labels. Many are societal or marketing conventions. So it has. Nobody's come up with it yet.

Jaime 48:23
Wait, continuing. Nobody's come up with what I mean.

Scott Benner 48:26
What this is saying is like, if it follows, continue to follow the Greek alphabet, the generation after beta will be gamma, gamma. That's it. Yeah. And then delta born from 2040, to 2054, but this is not official. It's a logical This is AI telling me this is the logical idea, but it doesn't mean that's what's going to happen, because society might deem it something else.

Jaime 48:47
Why? We just went from X to Y to Z, and now we're back at alpha why? Why would it deem it anything else?

Scott Benner 48:55
Because motherfuckers don't make sense. That's probably why. But I think it's interesting. I think it's because the society just picks things that happen. Like, I mean, you know, where did sus come from? Suspect, Yeah, but why? Like, why wasn't it something else? Like, what's the big one now? Riz, well, no, no, no, I'm talking about, like, if somebody explains how they feel about something, what do they call it now, cope. Oh, yeah, right. Look how you don't know that, because you're busy living your life

Jaime 49:23
Well, yeah. And like, why would I know that? My kids, my kids are saying six seven now, like, it's a joke. And like, I have no idea what they're

Scott Benner 49:29
talking about. I don't know. You don't even know.

Jaime 49:32
I was like, Oh, well, 789, you know? And my six year old is like, no, six seven. And I'm like, What is six seven? Look it up. I'm trying ridiculous. Nobody knows. I don't even think they know what it means.

Scott Benner 49:47
It's a viral phrase used especially by teens. Originates from the song dude, dude, six seven by rapper. It often associated with the basketball player, Lamelo ball, because he's six seven, tall. It has no fixed meaning. Sometimes it means something is so so or awkward. It can also reference height or TA, we're doomed. Is that really? Yeah, oh my God, oh yeah. Your kids are idiots. Look at that.

Jaime 50:13
They're just repeating what they hear at school.

Scott Benner 50:15
But they're little. They're How will they even do? They're six and four, and they're running around, going, six, seven,

Jaime 50:25
well, they go to school with up to eighth graders,

Scott Benner 50:28
oh, like on the bus and stuff. Well,

Jaime 50:30
yeah, I mean, just in general, like the school is, it's an elementary and middle school combined. It's like a small Catholic

Scott Benner 50:36
school. Oh, okay, all right. That is really a mix there. Yeah? Okay, so, by the way, when somebody says what you're saying is cope, they're accusing you of, like, being in denial or not accepting

Jaime 50:51
reality. Oh, like, that's how you're coping with whatever it is, right,

Scott Benner 50:55
right? So you couldn't possibly mean what you're saying. You're just coping, yeah, which is an interesting part of, like, the mock outrage thing online, where, like, you know, you have an opinion, and I start a channel, and I just take the opposite opinion, and then anytime you explain your opinion, I just say, oh, that's cope. You're wrong because I'm because what I think is right. And so interesting that nobody the idea of, like middle now is, is so inflammatory to some

Jaime 51:27
people. Oh, yeah, no, you can't be, you can't be Switzerland on anything. Yeah,

Scott Benner 51:31
I am. I think that makes sense. I think it's gonna come back. I hope so. I think you make a lot of sense. And I think they make a lot of sense, not about everything, but a blend of it is where reality is.

Jaime 51:42
Well, yeah, I think everybody thinks that they make a lot of sense, or they wouldn't, they wouldn't be saying it.

Scott Benner 51:47
Why is being centrist like a bad idea then? Because you're not taking a stand, I know, but that doesn't mean anything. Some things

Jaime 51:55
don't need a stand,

Scott Benner 51:56
though. Yeah, most things don't need a stand. Actually, if everybody was just being reasonable, most of this wouldn't be happening, right? Okay, I'm sorry. We've gotten off the topic, which, by the way, the topic is, I have no idea, but I have enjoyed our conversation. So now that we've been doing this for like, an hour, and we didn't start with a topic, and it's gone the way it's gone. What about diabetes, or your experience with diabetes? Should people know about?

Jaime 52:23
Well, I know that everybody says this, but it just gets so much easier. You know, like you start to know how many carbs things are. And I'm not to the point where I'm like, oh, that's one unit, but I am to the point where I'm like, oh, that's 30 carbs. And I don't need to look it up everything. It's like drinking from a fire hose at the very beginning. And I know you've said that a million times before, but it really is, and then it just turns into a trickle. Yeah.

Scott Benner 52:51
Is there anything that could have been said to you back then that would have made it feel better, or hopeful, or anything like what would have made those feelings go away?

Jaime 53:00
I think people said lots of things to me that should have made me feel better, but I was on such a spiral that nothing

Scott Benner 53:07
would have helped. Yeah, so the answer is probably not,

Jaime 53:11
probably not. I mean, everyone says, Oh, it'll get better, and it's just like, Okay, well, hurry up and wait for that to happen, but it's gotten better, good.

Scott Benner 53:20
Well, that's my experience. Listen, I the way I found to say it over and over again is that diabetes is hard. It doesn't usually get any easier, but eventually you should be so good at it that it will feel easier. And that's kind of the same thing, actually, in the end. But it takes time, and you have to have experiences. You have to have the ability to step back during those experiences and really absorb them, not get super dramatic and like, give them away, or throw your hands up, because they are learning experiences. And if you don't take the knowledge from it, then you're just going to be doomed to have it happen again and again until you figure it out. Yeah, you know, macro is helpful. You know, don't, don't stand too close when you're trying to figure it out. I think that all is true, and I hope that people hear that and and can, you know, be quantitative about it and try to apply it in their lives. But I don't know if that's possible. When you're crying every time you look another human being in the face, right? You know, like, you know, support yourself with people around you. And you know, hopefully guys that don't just say it'll be okay, because that's me, by the way, I would have done the same thing to Kelly. I probably did, you know, like, it'll be all right. Don't worry about it, right? I just did it with painting that we painted a couple of rooms, and she, like, put what I consider to be a significant amount of effort into choosing the colors, yeah, to the point where, like, one of the kids, I won't say which one, in case she ever hears this. Was like, Hey, why is the lady so wrapped up in what colors the walls gonna be? And I was like, I don't think you should say that to her. The lady, this one's way taken with this idea, but, but you know what the colors up now? Looks great, and I know Sure. I know for sure. If it would have been me, I would have been, Oh, that one's probably fine. And, yeah, would you care about it? I wouldn't. And during the picking period, I did probably say at some point, Kelly, it doesn't matter just any one of those three is fine, and she did not find that valuable. So no, yeah, there's, there's a blend in here somewhere, Jamie, between whatever hormones and childbirth does to ladies, it's super necessary. But right, that vibe of like, oh, chill out, it's gonna be all right, that's necessary too. Like, I can't believe that I've accomplished this, and I didn't do it on purpose, but I think you need a more centrist view of

Jaime 55:42
I agree with that, and I think I do have, I mean, I need, I needed that balance in my life, and he's helped me with that, for sure, yeah, but I'm still very type A when it comes to diabetes

Scott Benner 55:55
management. Think it's gonna stop.

Jaime 55:57
I don't know. I'm trying. I'm doing better with not letting, not letting the highs and lows affect me so much, because I can't make this my, this is his burden, and this is something that is going to affect him. I can't put my the way that it affects me on him, right? Because, especially as he gets older, tell me why? Well, I mean, he's gonna, he's gonna be the one that's physically feeling these highs and lows, and physically feeling, you know, the drop when you have too much insulin and and you know, I'm not feeling that. I feel it for him right now, because Emotionally, I feel it for him, and it affects me when he's high for a long time, and it affects me when he goes low really fast. And, you know, like yesterday, he he was dumping because they had cake in school, and just the insulin hit faster than the cake and and it was right before he was about to get on the bus. And I was like, Wait, like, stop everything. We can't put him on the bus. I went and got him, but it's just like, it's nerve wracking. And then, you know, the Dexcom goes out, and it's just like everything hitting all at once, and this is going to be happening to him. I can't be the the additional burden on him,

Scott Benner 57:09
right? Because why? What'll happen to him if that's who you are, well, he'll push me away, right? And by the way, to the therapist, you tried one time. That's what you should have done, but I just did right there. It's beautiful. What I did, it was awesome. Actually, you're a wonderful therapist, you know what? Seriously, I walked you right through it. And why was it hard? Right? If they call you an elitist, terrible, so rude, right? Do you like that? I set myself as an elitist to ask why he called you an elitist. That was, yeah, but it was smooth. It was for your humor, too, like, but now I'm shining a light on it to see so the people who are now mad at me can go, oh, he was kidding, and the people who knew I was laughing are like, I'm so much smarter than everybody else. Now you're an elitist. What do you

Jaime 57:51
think of that? I've been called it before.

Scott Benner 57:53
No, I mean the other people listening who were like, I got the joke the first time. Yeah, you got to remember there's other people here, just not us, just not now. Oh yeah, hi. Hey

Jaime 58:03
guys, no, but it's just it kills me that, like I can, I can have a meltdown and go away for a week and turn diabetes off, and he'll never be able to do that.

Scott Benner 58:13
Yeah, it's upsetting. It really is, but it also he'll find a way to do that on his own, hope, but the goal is for him not to find that way by not taking care of himself for a week, right? So the your real job micro, your real job is don't let him get on the bus when his blood sugar is falling, etc, and all that other stuff, right? Your macro job is to make sure that he has a healthy view of himself as options. Doesn't think that this is a burden, right? Doesn't think that you're burdened by it. Doesn't think that you're being oppressive about it, doesn't think all those other things. That's the big picture stuff. It's the stuff I didn't realize till the last few years, like, this is that's the real job. Like, yeah, you got to keep them alive, and, yeah, you got to make sure you can take care of the thing. But that's to your point. Earlier gonna come, and you're gonna be on, you're paying attention to it, so you're gonna figure you're going to figure it out. So how

Jaime 59:04
did you go through the period of Arden gaining independence without being overbearing?

Scott Benner 59:12
Oh, going through, still not go through, going through still not all the way through it yet. Okay, maybe we'll never be who knows, right? It was hard at first, because all of my instincts were with you, and my memories of like your memory is, oh, my God, his blood sugar is tanking as he gets on the bus. I gotta text somebody and stop him. My memory is her having a seizure, or the time that her blood sugar was crashing while she was in gym class, and that I was in the shower and I was texting her and texting her and calling and calling and getting out and drying myself off and putting on enough clothing, and thinking, oh my god, am I going to drive across town and run into the gymnasium and like, you know, texting and calling and calling and telling. Next thing, and the whole thing, and getting right to the front door, going into school, because of 911 now, you can't walk into a school, you know, you have to, right? You know, there's 17 concrete barriers out front. You got to get around them. And then you get inside, you buzz them in. I look the lady in the face, and I'm like, and I start talking, and I realized that whatever I was about to say, you would have locked me up if you if you saw me out of hand, you would have been like, there's something wrong with this guy. And just as that happened, my phone rang, and I picked it up, and I was like, hey. And she goes, Hey, are you trying to call me? And I'm like, Yeah, you're really low. She goes, I took care of that. That was it. And I turned around, half wet, half dry, half dressed. I looked at the woman in the window, and I was like, sorry, and just walked out like I didn't even I didn't even contextualize it for I was just like, but I'm leaving now. And left, drove back across town, went back upstairs and got dressed. But when something's happening to her, five years later, 10 years later, those are the things that that hit your nervous system when you're thinking about it, right, right? The big stuff, how do you get past that? For me, it was the day I realized that if I kept thinking about it that way, she was literally not going to talk to me, that we were going to be completely separated on on her and I don't mean talk to me ever. I mean talk to me about her diabetes, that we were going to be separated about that, and here I was with all this information and knowledge that was going to help her, and she was going to choose diabetes as a way to drive a wedge between us if I kept pushing. And so you have to step back and then let things happen that you know you could stop and just let them happen. And where do you get the confidence from that? I got it from interviewing all you guys who live through it. And I thought, Oh, she'll live through it, and she knows what she's doing, and she's, you know, earnest enough about it, like she's not gonna, like, Arden is not gonna wake up one day with an 11 a 1c like, when Arden is really struggling in college, or anyone sees like, six seven, right? And there was a moment in my life where I saw that and I thought, Oh, my God, I could have a five five. She just needs to do this here and that here and do that over here and change this pump this time instead of that time. Like, this is very easy, like, I could do this forever, right? But she's not in my position. And I learned that from people too. Like, why do people not take care of themselves until they want to do it for somebody else? Right? Like, why is that such a common human story? I don't know, but it is so. I believe that. And I moved on, Arden is not going to give herself a five, five until she decides she needs to. When's that probably going to happen if she has a baby? That's the most common answer for women that I talk to, right? Yeah. Every once in a while, it's when I met a guy and I was way out of control and I wanted to be married, but that's not her, her vibe. Six Seven is not out of control, right? Like, there's, there's nothing wrong with that. She could live her whole life like this. Six Seven, yeah. Like, and be great. Like, this would be fine. And sometimes she's a six five, sometimes six. Two depends on her stress level, how busy she is at school. But at some point, when we we did that, then it became like, you don't get to be involved in this anymore. I rode the horse too long. It was trying to throw me at that point, okay? And so then I backed completely off for like, six months, and then slowly, she'd be like, Hey, can you help me with this? I, you know, that kind of thing. And now, more recently, once in a while, I'll send her a text, I'll be like, hey, like, you know, you really got to Bolus, whatever it's suggesting here, you should Bolus it. And now she's back to like, we reset our relationship, yeah. And if I would have fought against that, then, you know, then I have the Jerry Springer equivalent of a 16 year old girl who's pregnant, just to show me, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And instead of that, we're good, like, we're really in a good spot. Good, yeah. So I don't know, in that word salad somewhere, is the answer?

Jaime 1:04:02
Yeah, no, I think I got an answer out of it, for sure. Cool, awesome. Did you use caregiver with loop?

Scott Benner 1:04:11
That doesn't sound like a thing I know about,

Jaime 1:04:14
like, were you able to remote Bolus? Oh,

Scott Benner 1:04:17
I never put myself in a position to be able to remote Bolus. I did have it set up that I could change basal like temporary basal rates, yeah, but there's always been this confusion as to whether or not that actually worked or not. There are some people in the dev side of it who tell me, like that doesn't really do anything, like you're seeing it on screen, but it's not happening. You thought you were doing something. And there's part of me that thinks that can't be true, because I've seen myself manipulate it, but I've asked myself over and over again, did I just wait so long that it was happening anyway, and I deluded myself into thinking I was doing it? I don't know. Now, when she's on trio, I actually do have remote Bolus on my phone. Oh, you do, yeah. And so one of the ways I got through. The time where we were less connected without bugging her. This is where she's going to find out about this one day. Probably, if she was struggling, I would give her the suggested insulin. It was asking for,

Jaime 1:05:11
really, and she didn't know it didn't her pump didn't beep or anything.

Scott Benner 1:05:15
I mean it. She can hear it going in, but she's also aware of it. Now, people are gonna be like, That's so dangerous. Well, I'm talking about like, point four to change, like, a 160 to a 130 like, stuff like I wasn't I'm not sending like, five units of insulin through or something like that. If I was ever in a situation like that, I would and had, like, bit the bullet Center attacks and said, hey, you need a lot of insulin. I'm not comfortable, you know, giving it to you without you knowing. So you need to do it yourself. Also, she was not unaware that she was getting insulin. Remotely, she knew that, okay, but I wouldn't send her a text if it was point two or point four or something like that, but I would text her and say, Hey, listen, you need a unit right now. Give yourself a unit. Here's an example of a real life example, like she's in a class, she doesn't answer me back, doesn't answer, doesn't answer. I'm looking on night scout. She has not Bolus. And so the next thing I do is I push the unit through, and then I send a text that says, hey, at 1015 I Bolus the unit that it was asking for, FYI, so she would know it was there. It was nothing nefarious. You know what? I mean? Yeah, that helped. Because I think there was an amount of time where she didn't want the connection, but she did want the help, right? And again, I took that, like, where did I make that leap from? There's gonna be adults that have type one and listen to this, or, like, probably, like, mortified by this, and you, maybe you should be I don't know. But where did I get that from? I got it from all the 27 year old young women that come on here and tell me I pushed my family away. I told them I didn't need help, but I did, but I didn't want it. And I look back now and I wish the hell they wouldn't have stopped trying to help me. And you have any idea, many people said that to me and a lot of young women seriously, I learned to believe that what was going to happen was going to happen, and I took everybody's advice from these conversations and aggregated it together. And I thought I have an opportunity to let my daughter have this autonomy, feel like she's breaking away without it impacting her a 1c and having to say, five years from now, hey, I have a couple of problems. I wish somebody would have pushed a little harder when I tried to push them away. Yeah, that's it. That's a delicate balance. I'm very focused on that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's not a thing you can jump in and out of or be flipping about, like, it's got to be a really well considered, like, this is not a thing I thought up in the shower this morning. Yeah, I've been thinking about this for 20 years, you know. Anyway, that's what I did. All right, I have one more question. Good. How do

Jaime 1:07:48
you keep up with the the trio updates, if you don't build it yourself, do you build it yourself?

Scott Benner 1:07:54
No. Lovely people help me. Well, they just came out

Jaime 1:07:57
with one. It's a follow update and a trio update, and you have to do both for them to continue to work together.

Scott Benner 1:08:04
And I tell you something embarrassing, what? And then you can explain it to me, God, this little thing pops up on my phone sometimes about this, um, this app called loop follow, yeah, and it tells me sometimes that an update is available to it? Yeah, I couldn't, for love, money or to save my own life, tell you how to update that app. I literally don't know. I'm sure you might know it says it's set up for it auto updates. But that is not a thing that I've ever found to be true. So yeah, I don't know anything about it. Somebody set it up for me. It's lovely. Works great. I did hear there's another version of TRIO out, but I haven't looked at it being perfectly honest. Tell me, first of all, this isn't test flight, am I right about that? For

Jaime 1:08:54
people, test flight. Test Flight is like, if you're an app developer and you want to put a test app on someone's phone, they have to download test flight to for you to be able to

Scott Benner 1:09:04
so I go into test flight, I see the follow a B app here. It says automatic updates, but I do not believe that it's updated to its current version. Or maybe it is, I have no idea. It says the current version is 3.2 for follow Yeah. It expires in 53 days. It

Jaime 1:09:23
says yeah, I think, well, the one, the version they just came out with, is four, 4.0 okay.

Scott Benner 1:09:29
And what version Am I even using? All right, I am using 3.2 it says the latest four, yeah. Again, if you told me right now, Scott, to save your own life, you have to update this, I would not know how to do it.

Jaime 1:09:42
Well, I don't use test flight, so I don't know if you could just update through

Scott Benner 1:09:46
that. And you're saying there's a new version of TRIO

Jaime 1:09:49
too. Yeah. So this most recent update. You know how, when you send a remote Bolus, you're just like, hoping it went through,

Scott Benner 1:09:56
and sometimes you have to do it twice. Sometimes you have to

Jaime 1:09:59
do it twice. Now. Now it shoots back a notification on your phone that the Bolus has been received, and it's it's going

Scott Benner 1:10:07
through. What are other parts of the Do you know what else was updated on it? Yeah,

Jaime 1:10:11
there's a whole list of things. Actually, you were talking about the recommended Bolus. They're reworking that so that it shows you the exact recommended Bolus that you would get if you were in trio, because before it was pulling some other number from somewhere

Scott Benner 1:10:25
else interesting, I did find myself having to, once in a while, make it more aggressive than it was asking to get the outcome. So I don't know how to update this. Being perfectly honest with you, like if you told me, I think it's worth updating the trio app, I would probably send a text to somebody and ask them to spend a couple with minutes with me, helping me with that.

Jaime 1:10:46
Yeah. I mean, most of the time I would say, just don't worry about it, because it was really good before. But because of this, this change and you, but you have to make sure that you're doing both of them at the same time, trio and loop follow for this one to

Scott Benner 1:11:00
work. Well, then I'm gonna, I'll send my text. Thank you. I appreciate that. See now you helped me. Great. Thank you. Have you enjoyed yourself?

Yeah, this was great, awesome. I'm glad I agree. I never once bad mouthed Pittsburgh, but there were some weird hills at that school, and I don't know why they expect people to walk up and down them. It's a weird place. The hills are insane, really, really, just like driving up them seems like I don't know if my car can do this.

Jaime 1:11:30
Yeah, you know what surprised me about moving to Buffalo is just how beautifully flat it is. Yeah?

Scott Benner 1:11:37
Pittsburgh, Buffalo. Cold places. Texas, not cold. Do you have a preference?

Speaker 2 1:11:41
I like seasons. Okay, so you'd

Scott Benner 1:11:45
rather be where you are now than in Texas, where it's pretty hot the whole time. I actually really like buffalo. Yeah. Where in Texas were you

Jaime 1:11:51
San Antonio? Okay, I feel like that's such a teeny blip of my life, though, like you don't even remember it. No. I mean, it's just like, like, think about one year of your life when you were in your early 20s. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 1:12:05
I don't even know how to quantify that, honestly, right? Yeah, it's interesting. You've had a very interesting life. I don't think it's over yet. It sounds like there's a lot more interesting

Jaime 1:12:14
to come. Well, hopefully I'll just learn not to be such an elitist.

Scott Benner 1:12:17
Do you think that boy will get to teach professionals how to push each other eventually, or is that not his goal? That's the goal. Yeah, is it? Does he have? I mean, you got to know somebody, right? Like, it's got to be somebody that brings you along. Yeah, he's got some buddies in the NFL, nice, yeah, on any teams that I would hate. Or, well, who's your team? I live in Philadelphia, outside of Philadelphia, so you're the Eagles. Yeah, my whole life.

Jaime 1:12:40
Actually, he's got it. He's got a buddy that's coaching the Eagles. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:43
see, well, I hope he knows how to tell people, because I'll tell you what to be like an offensive line coach here would probably be great for a career. Because, oh yeah, yeah, right, because you get to learn from Jeff stoutland, that'd be pretty great on your resume. I would imagine

Jaime 1:12:59
it would Yeah, yeah. To get into the NFL, though, you have to start you have to come in as an like he would have to come in as an offensive line assistant, right?

Scott Benner 1:13:07
Is that a paid drop? Is that a thing that wouldn't be something you couldn't do?

Jaime 1:13:10
No, it depends. The NFL is different, because it just depends on who's willing to pay you. Like the Steelers don't pay as well. From what I understand, I don't know a whole lot about it, other than what I hear, you know, through the grapevine,

Scott Benner 1:13:22
but is there anxiety with that? Because that seems like a very like tenuous way to make a living.

Jaime 1:13:27
Yeah, I I live in, in just a total state of unrest all the time,

Scott Benner 1:13:33
constant fear that we're about to be on. What else would he be good at, by the way,

Jaime 1:13:39
besides being a football coach? Yeah, I don't know you'd have to talk. I bet you could figure out what he'd

Scott Benner 1:13:45
be good at. Yeah, well, listen, if the podcast ever needs those kind of conversations, that's what we'll do. Imagine he just should my next job be Scott. He just grunts through the the conversation. I'm like, trying to pick through his brain, like, you have to say something, buddy. Yeah, you don't say something. I'm not gonna be able to figure out anything. You got to talk you, by the way, opened right up like an old book. I appreciate that very much. Jamie, yeah, no worries. You seriously, just flopped right open like the you were just like, all right, fine. Here's all my stuff. I really appreciated that.

Jaime 1:14:15
Actually, I feel like everything that I do I try to do at 100

Scott Benner 1:14:20
Well, you did this today, so thank you very much. I appreciate it, yeah, thank you, Scott. I appreciate it absolutely. Hold on one second.

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