#1859 Weekends Left
Scott and Erika explore the psychology of wasted time, identity, and the real-world reach of diabetes advocacy.
Key Takeaways
- Mastering Diabetes Fundamentals: Practical insights like pre-bolusing, understanding insulin action, and making proactive dosing adjustments form the basis of effective everyday diabetes management.
- The Nature of Healthcare Communication: Healthcare tracking and medical metrics are deeply tied to human interactions; individuals require a safe space to work through their emotional reactions before practical advice can truly resonate.
- The Psychology of "Wasted Time": High-achieving caretakers and professionals often struggle with an internal tension between deep focus, self-imposed expectations, and the fear of underutilizing their limited time.
- Fulfillment Through Direct Feedback: Navigating digital creation or remote advocacy highlights the vital role that real-time, human-facing feedback loops play in maintaining long-term commitment and motivation.
- Mortality and Mid-Life Introspection: Reevaluating generational shifts, parenting dynamics, and personal metrics of societal impact is a natural psychological development phase when looking toward the future.
Resources Mentioned
- Juicebox Podcast Website: juiceboxpodcast.com
- Able Now: ablenow.com
- Medtronic Diabetes (MiniMed 780G System): medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox
- Kontoor Next Gen Blood Glucose Meter: kontoornext.com/juicebox
- Erika Forsyth Therapy & Consultation: erikaforsyth.com
- Wrong Way Recording: wrongwayrecording.com
Introduction and Deep Thoughts on Wasted Time
Scott BennerHere we are back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
Scott BennerMy diabetes pro tip series is about cutting through the clutter of diabetes management to give you the straightforward practical insights that truly make a difference.
Scott BennerThis series is all about mastering the fundamentals, whether it's the basics of insulin, dosing adjustments, or everyday management strategies that will empower you to take control.
Scott BennerI'm joined by Jenny Smith, who is a diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal experience, and we break down complex concepts into simple, actionable tips.
Scott BennerThe diabetes pro tip series runs between episode one thousand and one thousand twenty five in your podcast player, or you can listen to it at juiceboxpodcast.com by going up into the menu.
Scott BennerNothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise.
Scott BennerAlways consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan.
Scott BennerThis episode is sponsored by Able Now, tax advantaged savings accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities.
Scott BennerIf you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify for an ABLE account because of ongoing medical needs, and many people in the diabetes community do.
Scott BennerWith ABLE Now, you can save for future expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid.
Scott BennerLearn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. You spell that ablenow.com.
Scott BennerToday's episode is also sponsored by Medtronic Diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the MiniMed seven eighty g system and their new sensor options, which include the Instinct sensor made by Abbott.
Scott BennerWould you like to unleash the full potential of the MiniMed seven eighty g system? You can do that at my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Scott BennerThe podcast is also sponsored today by Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter.
Scott BennerLearn more and get started today at kontoornext.com/juicebox. Oh, look at me. Erica's starting off laughing because I've said to her, let me tell you what I wanna talk about while you're being recorded and give you absolutely no preparation whatsoever. So, hey, Erica.
Scott BennerHow are you?
Erika ForsythThat's right. Hi. I'm well. Awesome to see you.
Scott BennerThank you. I woke up this morning around 5AM because I was warm. I'm very delicate, Eric. I I cannot sleep above a certain temperature. That's just so no.
Scott BennerI woke up because I was warm, and I don't know. I went and like, I noticed Arden's blood sugar was a little higher than I wanted it to be. So I walked into her room, pushed a couple of buttons, and I went back and got in bed. And before I could fall asleep, I started thinking about time. Before I knew it, I was writing what appears to be an essay at this point that I put online, and I kinda would like to go through it with you.
Scott BennerIt's gotten 45, like, pretty thoughtful responses back from people already on my introspective day, and I think I can tie it together with, diabetes pretty well. So okay. Okay. So you can I and this is not therapy? Erika's not I'm not asking Erica for free for free therapy.
Scott BennerAlso, it would not be right because she's not I'm not one of the states that she can help.
Erika ForsythWell, that's right. And you're not my client.
Scott BennerOh, there's a number of different reasons this would be wrong. I started off because this is a thing that happens to me kind of over and over again. I get bored pretty easily, and I have a kind of a a high drive to do things, and I work a lot. So very often, I do a lot of things behind the scenes for the podcast, and some pan out and some don't. But sometimes they're good, and I just don't have a way to deliver them to people.
Scott BennerAnd that ends up hitting me back as it feels like wasted time to me. And I know I bring this up a lot, but I really do feel like wasted time might be to me, it's, like, the biggest sin. So, anyway, I can I read you a little bit of this and then we can talk for a sec?
Erika ForsythWasted time is a—
Scott BennerIt bothers me. So you. I said I get bored sometimes, but the boredom manifests as waste because I desperately hate wasted time. Every regret I have is about time. I don't mourn not doing something, but I do despise not having done it because then the opportunity to do so is lost.
Fulfillment, Purpose, and Algorithmic Limits
Scott BennerI am not a person who feels as if every moment has to be electric. I value quiet and stillness. But once the moment has passed, I think about what I can't retrieve, which is very often time. I said when this feeling strikes me, I never see it coming, and it often arrives after a massive amount of work that I put in or effort that doesn't quite bear the fruit that I envision. And lately, I've been working on creating alternative learning environments for type one, but eventually, met with the truth that most people will never know they exist.
Scott BennerAnd even if I find a way to introduce them, an even greater percentage won't spend the time to look. And I said, that cycle can sometimes make me feel useless, but not in the my life is worthless kind of way, but more in the I'm wasting time way. And then it hit me, like, should I do more speaking events? Should I create more social media that the algorithms will like better? Do I do live chats online?
Scott BennerShould I make more content? Should I come up with new ways to say things? And I honestly don't know. So I don't know. I started wondering if I'm wasting time and people's responses this is not this is not all I wrote, but I'm gonna stop here for a second.
Scott BennerPeople's responses were very they're lovely, but they want me to know what the podcast has done for them. And I keep thinking, it matters what it's done for them. Don't get me wrong. But if it doesn't do something for the next person or if you have an idea that helps people that you can't find a a wider venue for, then I get this feeling of, like, I could be doing something else. But not I don't wanna do it outside of this space.
Scott BennerAnyway, I'm I'm gonna if if you have thoughts, you can jump in. And Mhmm. And then if not, I'll keep reading. So you tell me what you wanna do.
Erika ForsythSo I would be curious to learn more about the the space between the quiet and stillness, which you value. And then when it starts to feel like that quiet and stillness feels like that it it transitions or turns into waste or, like, you're not you're not producing anything.
Scott BennerSo I think that's a function of my I have a lot of expectation for myself. So I know I'm accomplishing something, but it's not as much as I feel like I could. Mhmm. And it's not because I don't even think it's because I'm not doing the thing. It's that the thing doesn't have a place to go afterwards.
Scott BennerLike, I almost feel like a person who would tell you, I'm a painter, but if nobody sees my paintings, then I'm not a painter. But I would be. Right? If I sat in my house and I painted and I didn't do anything else except hang it up or throw it away or whatever, I would have painted. I would have used my time in a way that I felt valuable, that I enjoyed.
Scott BennerAnd there's something that happens in the interim. I think it's because I think it's because I've seen the podcast work for so long that I know that for many people who it reaches, they all end up having a valuable outcome too, or it's very likely at least. Not reaching them used to make me feel like I was failing to reach them, but I don't feel that one anymore. Now I feel like not reaching them means I wasted the time to put the content together even though it's it's heard by a lot of people. That's that's my answer to that.
Erika ForsythNot reaching them makes you feel like you wasted the time putting the content together. Okay. What what's interesting is I I have not seen or or read this. Was this on the the, Facebook group?
Scott BennerI put it up in the private group. And I think on my website.
Erika ForsythI've not read it, but it's interesting that what you shared so far in a summary of the responses is that it seems like people are reading what you are posting and maybe thinking that you are seeking some sort of validation of how you have met their needs. Right? Like, that's but I and I hear that's not that's not the point of the post. Is that incorrect?
Scott BennerI it might be. Like, I don't I that's one of the scary things about putting, like, putting something like this out into the world. I do not mean it in a needy way, and I do not feel needy about it. But some people, after reading it, apply how they feel about how they're being valued in the world, and then you get that mirrored back to you. This is something I'm kind of accustomed to being like, working in kind of a one way medium like the way I do. Mhmm. So some people hear me and and don't understand what I'm saying or sometimes I'm not clear or sometimes they understand perfectly but take it in a different way than I feel.
Scott BennerI do not feel useless. I do not feel like I'm day to day, I I feel great. It feels like I'm wasting my time. It feels like I'm fixing your car and then you don't get to drive it. Does that make any sense? Mhmm. I'll read a little more. I said, I spend a fair amount of time reexamining the podcast for universal truths. I find them that I stop short of sharing because the methods at my disposal are designed to limit my reach. And that feeling leads me to wonder if I'm overvaluing my impact.
Scott BennerSo there's two thoughts there. The first one is is that I can make I can make a good sandwich. I don't have shelf space at the grocery store. Right? So if Facebook won't serve a post or TikTok or Instagram or even the podcast, which is everything is throttled by somebody.
Scott BennerAnd I know that's a thing that some people think creators say when they're not successful. I know from talking to people in the industry that there's only so much the algorithm lets you have. It just really is kind of the way it is. Like, it'll stop you at some point. So if I put together a great tool or an episode and then it just I don't know.
Scott BennerLike, it it doesn't reach people on the mass that it could. Not even like, I'm not even saying, like, I'm not reaching the people. Like, they're connected to me already and I still can't get it to them. That part feels I don't know. That that that that I it's really hard to put that part into words.
Scott BennerBut then the rest of it, the self confidence wavering sneaks into this is that I know how I think I impact people, and I know my intention to, but I do wonder if I'm actually having the impact that I think I am. Does that make sense? Right? Because it's easy to get confused when, the course of any day, a nurse practitioner from New York and Texas and Florida will send a note and say, hey. You know, do you have a QR code? We share this podcast so much in the office. Like, you know what I mean?
Scott BennerI wish I had a QR code. Oh, sure. I'll send it to them. And that makes it feel like everybody's listening. Mhmm. You know? But that's not everybody. And then somebody comes on the podcast, and they're, like, completely lost or unable to help themselves. And you think, well, how did that miss them? Or I had a guy on last week who's, like, 60 years old.
Scott BennerHe just found the show a year ago and had, a massive change for him. But I've been doing this for twelve years. Like so that means if he hasn't been aware of it for eleven years, then there's somebody right now that isn't aware of it that might be eleven years from now if I keep making it. Mhmm. Right? Mhmm. Mhmm.
Scott BennerThis is let me know when this gets self indulgent. So so I start to wonder if I'm actually doing anything valuable enough for it to be worth, and this is probably the rest of it. For it to be worth the 1,343 remaining weekends that the actuarial table says I have left.
Erika ForsythOh my gosh.
Analyzing Family, Trust, and Lifelong Impacts
Scott BennerI listen. I wrote this, but I'll say it to you. I've lived twenty nine thousand two hundred and nineteen days and four thousand one hundred and seventy four weekends, and there are just far fewer remaining. And I just don't wanna waste one of them doing something like this. And I work very diligently and long hours, but not in a way that makes me upset with my time.
Scott BennerBut if you saw how most of my days go, I genuinely think you'd be horrified. Like, I work—cook, take out the trash, do the dishes, work, cook, work, sleep. Like, that is really how my life goes. And it's you know, my wife has a similar work ethic, so neither of us is, like, yelling at the other one to stop. And even if we did, you don't know us, but Right. It's stopping anyway.
Scott BennerSo, you know, it's hard to do something that's valuable as reported back by the people you're doing it for and then not do it. Like, so when it comes to, like, should I watch a half hour sitcom or should I make this, I don't know, bolus estimator work better, well, then I sit and do that. Right? And then it works. And then you put it out there and you're stunned by, a, how many people are actually helped by it, but then, b, how few that number actually is.
Scott BennerAnd it just there's always that, like, thing that happens. The Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contournext.com/juicebox, you're gonna find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, Kroger, and Meijer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter than you would pay through MyLink for the Contour Next Gen and Contour Next test strips in cash.
Scott BennerWhat am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now even with your insurance. And I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that. But what I can say for sure is that the Kontoor Next Gen meter is accurate.
Scott BennerIt is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Kontoornext.com/juicebox. And if you already have a Kontoor meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the juice box podcast link will help to support the show. As I told you earlier, Able Now is sponsoring this episode. Able Now, of course, tax advantaged Able accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities.
Scott BennerIf you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify for an Able account because of ongoing medical needs. Many people in the diabetes community do. With ABLE now, you can save for future expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid. And thanks to updates to federal law, ABLE accounts are now available to more people than ever before. That means more individuals and families can use ABLE now to save and invest.
Scott BennerFunds in an ABLE now account can be used for a wide range of everyday needs, including education, transportation, health care, assistive technology, and more. There's no enrollment fee, and you can open an Able Now account with a small initial contribution and build from there. Learn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. That's ablenow.com, ablenow.com. I'm gonna stop talking to him.
Erika ForsythYes. Yeah. So the themes that I am thinking about that probably most people consider in their their kind of work life balance are when where where do you find fulfillment, self worth that, you know, that value piece? Where do you feel, like, internally where you feel like I'm you're the value, self worth, fulfillment, those types of words, feelings. The other theme that's coming up as you're talking to me is, like, the sense of, like, powerlessness or feeling out of control. When you when you do feel like you're fulfilled and you're getting you feel like you're there's you're finding self worth in what you do. It is productive. It is helpful. But then what happens when there's that experience of powerlessness in the production and then the consumption?
Scott BennerYeah. No. That's exactly right. It it it's exactly right. It made me start digging into, like like, where I see value in my life. Right? My existence. And I I kinda break it down between, like, family, the planet, and and what I do, like, professionally for everybody listening. It's interesting because as far as, like, a, you know, a global citizen, I think I do a pretty good job. I love just being around my family. Like, I don't have, like, dreams of, like, going out tonight or being silly. Like, I don't I don't I like people. I love people. I love groups. But if we're not talking about something important, I zone out really quickly and wanna leave.
Scott BennerI'm not excited to I wouldn't go to a bar, I guess, is my example. Right? Small talk. Social. Wanna make small talk. Like, I wanna sit down and, like, have, like, an actual conversation about something. Right or wrong. I'd like to hear somebody think about something and say what they think and hear what I think and bounce it back and forth a little bit.
Scott BennerI cannot waste because it always feels like wasted time. Like, always, always, always. And I don't feel like the work I'm doing if I just died down, like, ten minutes from now, if you were here to tell me, Scott, you have ten more minutes. Right? I would not, for a split second, feel like I wasted my life.
Scott BennerI would stand up, find my family, and just sit with them for nine minutes. Right? Like, I don't even wouldn't necessarily wanna say anything to them or do anything. I would just kinda wanna be there. And even when we have that kind of time, that is really the kind of time that like, you you know, like, my and my kids are getting older, and it's, you know, it's clear they're not gonna be around as much, you know, pretty soon.
Scott BennerAnd so you always I always think about, like, well, what am I not doing right now to maximize what the time is left? And then I realized I wouldn't do anything differently. Like, there's this thing that I feel like we all think, like, right, like, that you you philosophize that at the end of your life, you're gonna wish you did something more or wish you did something less. I don't have feelings like that. I'm very happy with how I interact with my family.
Scott BennerThe only thing I would miss if I died is this, whatever this is. Like, you know, the time and the space and the being around each other or even just knowing that they're in the building Mhmm. Which is incredibly valuable. And you don't realize till your first one goes off to college, you do not realize that your house literally feels different with fewer people in it. It is not a thing that you can conceptualize until that person is gone for days at a time, and there is some sort of a hollowness in the air that I don't know how to explain. Right? If you said to me, well, what would we do differently, Scott, so that we don't feel like our time is wasted? My honest answer would be, I don't really wanna do anything differently. I'm happy with this. Like, this, I think, works well.
Scott BennerI talk to my kids. They know how I feel. I listen to how they feel. I'm aware of their goings ons, their concerns, and their troubles. They know about mine. We're honest with each other, you know, as much as people are, and I think that's good. Like, that's it. Am I doing enough with my time such that it can be considered not wasted when I cease to be here? The question is multifaceted, of course. How have I impacted those around me, the planet? Do I take lessons after I inevitably make a mistake? And then I I tell a little story about I said I once pulled out a chair from underneath of my mom. I did it on purpose. I was really young. And I remember her falling.
Scott BennerI remember exactly where we were. As a matter of fact, I could drive you to that place, walk into the room, and stand you where it happened because it was so horrifying. I believe it. Right? Mhmm. I remember how disappointed she was. I remember that she was hurt physically, and it felt like she was hurt spiritually. Like, she looked at me like, how did that like, how did he do that to me?
Scott BennerMhmm. Really, she I don't even think she said anything. I just knew I I knew I fucked up as soon as it happened, and I don't think I—was like, feel that. I can feel it right now. If I was five or six years old, I would've, that that's it. Right? Mhmm. And so I never did it again. Like, I screwed up. I learned. I didn't do that again. But more importantly, I remember how she felt and how me doing that thing to her made me feel. So that taught me, like to me, it's trust. Right? Like, don't revoke her trust from you. Like, that's a that's an important thing. It's it's stuck with me. Right? So then I wondered, like, is my family better off for knowing me?
Scott BennerI think they are. Do I create a better space for people I intersect? I think I do. Have I told my children enough that they will do the same as they grow up? I think I have. So, again, I don't feel wasted. Nothing like that. I feel like the podcast and the people it's helping are a second opportunity. When I think about my parenting skills, I cut my teeth on my brothers, basically, to their you know, much to their, chagrin, and I've apologized to them already. But I was like, I basically got put in front of my brothers when I was 13, and somebody was like, here, you make sure they don't die until we get home. You know? I parent practiced on them, made a lot of mistakes. I started to parent Mhmm. My own kids, then started taking in my wife's, you know, input and blended that. And since we've blended that together, I feel really good about the kind of father I've been.
Scott BennerAnd now I feel like I really just take my my perspective on the world and just apply it to diabetes and then my ability to, like, conversate and just lay it over top of that. Like, I actually think of that as my job. Mhmm. And that is nice because you all will never go to college and leave me here by myself. So Yeah. So there there will always be new people to help, which seems really important to me probably because I'm adopted. Let's not get too deep. But, like, right, like, I've been abandoned a couple of time. I'm adopted. My adoptive parents got divorced. Like, I desperately don't want people to, like, leave. I used to think that was the thing I was gonna get past. I gotta be honest with you. I think it's just part of who I am. Like, I like people to be happy and fulfilled and doing as well as they can be doing.
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Erika ForsythAnd that's that's also driving this question of kind of how much is enough, the wasted you know, what is wasted time and wanting to serve people and not missing, like, missing that opportunity is really— That's it. Twenty one minutes after you figured it out. That is it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if I'm not if if I'm not helping as much as I could be, then I wonder if it lights up that feeling of, like, not that people are gonna leave, but that they're not gonna have the happiness that comes with—I don't know what happens when people are satisfied. And I'm talking about their physical health or their happiness or anything like that. Right. Right.
Quantifying the Reach of Diabetes Concepts
Scott BennerReally odd position. Like, this is a really new kind of job in the world. You know? Like, it is really strange that Mhmm. I I I bought a $500 microphone and taught myself how to use a couple of pieces of electronics in front of me. And now in any given month, a few 100,000 people hear what I say. Mhmm. It's a weird responsibility. Mhmm. And I feel like I'm doing a good job with it, like, as time goes forward.
Scott BennerThere's no preparation like, as a person born in the seventies before the Internet, there's no preparation for, like, living this, like, life. Like, I am picking my way through it the entire—not that everybody's not, but, like, at least if you're born with a phone in your hand and your job involves a computer, it seems kind of like Mhmm. This whole thing still seems ridiculous to me. Patently ridiculous. Right. You know what I mean? Like, on some level, I'm like, how is this what's happening? How is my version of common sense? Because that's really all this is. Like, how is it is it striking so many people? I gotta be honest. Like, I expected to, like, do this and it not to work. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't think it was gonna really work. And then once it does, you're like, oh my god.
Scott BennerPeople react to this well. And then you think, okay. That's fine. It's nice. It's just entertainment until the first person tells you their story and it's, you know, and it's I was abused as a child, and I was thinking of taking my own life, and I couldn't manage my diabetes. And then you told me how to do it, and now I'm here and I—that's a lot. You you know what I mean? Like and then it happens once and you think, that's insane. And then it happens 10 times, and you're like, well, that's weird. And then it happens a 100 times and a thousand times and to the point where you have to remind yourself to be present with them when they're telling you because they start telling the story and you think, well, I've heard this already.
Scott BennerAnd there's almost a little voice inside you that goes, get to the part where I helped you and then we can stop recording right now. I don't actually feel that way, but, like, you you kind of know. And sometimes I lead people there because I think it's funny and sometimes I think it's gonna be helpful for people who are chewing. But even if they don't get to say it when they're recording, they tell me when the recording stops. Mhmm. Like, every time. And to know it's doing that and then how do you not find more people to give it to? Right. Does that make sense?
Erika ForsythBecause you yeah. Yeah. Because you get that you're having that feedback loop of the idea you have bold with insulin. Right? If we just didn't, like—we'll just use that to summarize. Right. And then that people have a positive experience. It helps them. You hear that story. So, of course—and then from your also your—the kind of your trauma and, like, that fear, but also desire to keep people satisfied is driving. It's what's driving you. You have—you have to assess your purpose and the drive. And then the tension is when you're not doing that and feeling like you're wasted time, does that circle back to kind of, like, the identity piece of who like, well, who am I? What am I doing? Where is my purpose?
Scott BennerI live, like, in a vacuum when I make this, and I work a lot. So even for all of you that go to work, it doesn't matter what job it is. Right? Like, I mean, Erica, you interact with people constantly, and you get to see them rise or fall. You have a completed feedback loop. Mhmm. There are people who hate my guts. Like, sometimes I hear from them too. Honestly Mhmm. That's valuable too. Mhmm. I've never once thought, oh, everybody loves this. Like, I think there's a certain—a certain person in a certain situation who jives well enough with how I talk and—and—and it ends up working. I'm sure there are plenty of people who hate me. Like—and I mean, like, fundamentally, I'm fine with that. Having the ability to, like, project your thoughts onto so many people without being able to see how it's touching each one of them is—is, like, a little crazy.
Scott BennerYou have to keep trying to intellectualize it because—because I could—I could describe 25 different kinds of people that I've spoken to in the last twenty five days. Vastly different human beings who in the end or at some point in the conversation say, hey. This thing you're making really helps me. I feel like you know me pretty well. Like, I'll joke around a lot, but I do not have, a big ego about this. I don't—I—I don't think I have a lot of weird narcissistic tendencies around it. Like, I don't even—I'm not even really fueled by that part of it. Like, when they tell him like, you must—like, people must thank you. I mean, it's nice for a second, but, like, I don't walk around three inches taller afterwards for the rest of day finding other people to let know that I've helped other people. Like, it's Mhmm. It's not—do you know what I mean? Like, it's not like that. It's a little just—it's like a slow drip. It keeps me on the positive side. I think most of my days are good because I know I'm helping people. I'm not running around chest out being like, hey. Look at me. Look what I'm doing. Like, I don't feel that way. I—I—I had to go to the doctor.
Scott BennerMy doctor's moving to Paris. Her husband got some great job, and I'm losing my doctor. Yeah. She's retiring and going to Paris. I tried to talk her into divorcing him and staying. She didn't wanna do it. Apparently, they're just gonna go and live their lives, and I have to figure out what to do about that. So I go to meet—I go to meet another doctor, and five seconds into it, he says, what do you do for a living? I was like, where? What is this about? Like, you're just my doctor, but okay. I go, I make a podcast, and I just wanna leave it at that. But he doesn't wanna leave it at that. Oh, how do you do that? It makes money? That's like a—like a real job, then all the questions start. And I answer all the questions. What's the podcast about? I tell him. He looks mortified for a second, like, thinking he missed that I have type one diabetes when he was, you know—Uh-huh. And I said, it's not me. It's my daughter. Blah blah. Like, going back and forth a little bit. He's like, I gotta leave the room. I'll be back in a few minutes. He clearly went out there and, like, researched me while he was out there. Because then he came back in and knew a bunch of stuff about the podcast, and I was like, it's all just very strange because I'm not really famous. I don't even know how to con—conceptually put that together. I mean, you've seen me in public with you. I'm famous in spaces, not for real.
Erika ForsythIn type—in type one space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We go to a type one space. I'm George Clooney. Was like, I'm—they're like, I remember you from Oceans 11. I'm like, I know. It's me. And, like—but then, like, I walk out the door. I tell that story all the time. Like, in that space, I can't walk from one side of the room to the next. I walk outside of the building and somebody run me right over their car and be like, oh, I just hit a guy with my car. Like, you know, like, it's very—it—even that's odd to some degree or another. Right. Right. You know? So, anyway, I'm gonna read you a little more because then this is the—this is where I kinda talked myself into believing I was doing a good job. So I said I—it's gonna sound weird to some people, but I asked a large language model that has been fed my podcast. I asked it. I just said, which phrases, specific diabetes care ideas have I personally coined or thought of? Like, stuff that's outside of the norm. And then it gave me back its answers. Then I googled those answers to see how they popped up in the world. And I found—first thing I found was just a person on Instagram trying to raise awareness around diabetes awareness month, I think, a year or two ago. And she said, have you ever heard these two terms, rage bolusing and crush it and catch it? And then she talked about, I did some research and rage bolusing seems to have been coined by a blogger named Curry Sparling. And crush it and catch it was coined by Scott from the Juice Box podcast. And then she went on to talk about how valuable, like, that idea that I set out loud has been in her life. And I thought, okay. Well, then I guess I—that—I mean, it got to her. Like, you know what I mean? Like, has to get to other people. And I—I looked a little more, and there were people, like you said earlier, like, said it kind of, like, offhandedly, but, like bold with insulin. And that's the thing that I said that people still say ten years later, like, I did—I did that. Okay? Yeah. And so I'm like, okay. I am having a positive influence. And then you have to try to extrapolate in your head, my reach is greater than I think it is. And can I just accept that and let that tell me on days when I'm not getting feedback that things are reaching people? Can I just believe that they are?
Erika ForsythCan it be enough?
Scott BennerCan it be enough? Can I just let it be and stop thinking about it? And most days, yes. But I've been working on something for, like, the last week, like, head down eighteen hour days, and I got finished with it, and it's really good. And I thought, no one's gonna use this. Was like, I wasted all of my time. No one's gonna use this. And some people will, but not to the extent that I should have spent seventy five hours on it. Do—do you know what I mean? Like, I was like, it's not gonna get used like—
Erika ForsythThen are do you get—are you frustrated with yourself for that?
Scott BennerNo. Because that's what needed to be done for it to work as well as it works. Okay. Right? So I'm—and I'm happy it exists. I'm pissed more people aren't—and I'm literally mad that more people aren't going to get the benefit of it. Going back eight or nine years, I don't know if I've ever like, was offered—Mhmm. I—thinking thinking thinking. I was offered $3,000,000 for the podcast, like, eight or nine years ago. And I said, no. It's okay. I'm good. I was like, I can make that much money if I keep it going along enough, and I think it won't help as many people if you and your lawyers are involved in it. So I just wanna keep doing it like this. And then since then, I've been approached multiple times by companies that want to take the more valuable pieces of the podcast and turn it into—they wanna paywall it. They want to—they, you know, they wanna, turn it into a course that you have to pay for. SaaS is a word that gets thrown at me a lot. Software as—I don't even know what it means exactly.
Erika ForsythI have no idea.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But—but we could set up a SaaS, and you'll make $5 off every person that gets—blah blah blah. I get, like, stuff that I—and I always go, no. It's okay. I'm alright. I'm—I'm okay. And as you get older, you think, like, should I just maybe one time just take it? You know, like, maybe just cash out here a little bit, and then I could just sit back and not care and just keep doing it. I so badly don't want anybody to have to pay for anything. So then I think, like, can I create this other stuff I'm creating? Like, maybe I could just put that behind, like, a paywall, like, one—like, a website that does something or something like that. And then I go, I don't know how many people are gonna do it. You know what I mean? Couple 100 people are gonna give me $10 a month. What am gonna do? Take $3 off of people? Like, I'm not doing that. You—you know what I mean? Like, it just feels dirty. And then—but then I don't have an outlet. I almost wanna do it just so I have an outlet for my thing. Does that make sense?
Erika ForsythYeah. Yeah. It's— The—the desire to—well, you—you have this product that you believe in, and you—you—I just think, yeah. As a—thinking about it as a product helps me Yeah. maybe put words to it of, you know, listen. Take the pill, and it'll help you. I promise. Right? Like—but the product is the listening and the application and the internalization to make it work for you and your family. Right?
Scott BennerI think the other problem is that I'm the product too. It's not the—
Erika Forsythwords intellectual property.
Scott BennerBut no. No. No. It's No. It's my translation of it, I think, is what works. Because I don't say anything that somebody else doesn't know. But yet, tens of thousands of people tell me, my god, you're the first person that's ever told me to pre bolus. I can't have been the first person that told them. I'm the first person that impacted them and, like, got through to them that they should do it and told them why and gave them, like, reasons and painted pictures with words and, like, that I'm not the first person that told them the bolus before they ate. Like—or maybe in some cases, I am. But because I've seen the information written down. Right? It's valuable the way it's written down. But how do you get somebody to read it? And then after they read it, how do you make sure that they understand it? And then if they don't quite understand it, like, do you get them to come back and look at—there's just—there's too many obstacles. It's why everybody wants to blame health care for everyone's not understanding their diabetes. It's not the health care's fault. It's a human problem. Like, it just is. It's like the person communicating to you and your ability to hear them and your ability to go back and forth. It's not that you don't have enough time for the doctor to tell you what to do. It's that that's not enough time to have an actual human interaction about it. It's enough time for somebody to say something at you. By the time you get done having your feelings about it, you're done already. And mostly your feelings are gonna be, hey. I'm trying my hardest. Don't pick on me. Leave me alone. This is hard. Like, all the, like, first line reaction stuff that happens. You don't ever get to the other part. So I—I make a place where people get together and talk about it long form so they have time to work through that first reaction and get to the part that helps them. I've told you before, like, anybody listening has probably heard me say before, like, the number of emails that I have that are like, you're an asshole are plentiful. And a lot of them are of a follow-up email from six months later that say, hey. I wrote you six months ago and told you you're an asshole. I really wanna apologize. I've realized that I was having a reaction. Something something something something, and I'm listening now. My a one c is going down. I just wanna let you know and thank you and blah blah blah. Like, that all—that tells me is that I don't think you can circumvent the way people learn or listen or feel, and this time is what it takes. So then the question becomes, like, can I ever stop doing it? Like, do you know what mean? Like, an obvious—I'm gonna have to. Look at me. I'm a wreck. It's almost over. Right?
Human Connections and the Longevity of Support
Scott BennerHow much longer can I possibly keep myself upright? Oh my gosh. I don't know. Like, if I made this right until I died, I'd be happy. I have no problem with that. Mhmm. I don't wanna travel for the sake of traveling. I'm not looking to own anything. If you gave me a billion dollars right now, I would not buy a yacht. You—you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't go buy—I—I—you know, I always say I wouldn't buy a yacht. I wouldn't buy a jet. I have to tell you, I might get a jet. But I don't wanna go to the airport. And if you give me a billion dollars, then I could probably afford it. But, like, you know, like, I don't have, like—like, even about, like, we've—you know, you asked me, like, where to—how do you wanna retire? What do you wanna do when you're retired? Like, I don't know. Like, I used to think it was a problem that I didn't know, but I think it means that I'm supposed to be here doing this right now. I'll figure that out when this isn't right anymore. Does that make sense?
Erika ForsythYes. But the—the fact that you're—you're even thinking about that and the—the wasted time question, it also is a natural part of where you are in your life stage. Like, you're not—you're not there yet. Right? But, like, it's a really norm—these are normal questions and wonderings and curiosities for where you are kind of—I mean, you're still—you're still quite young.
Scott BennerBut this is when you start thinking about this stuff.
Erika ForsythIn that kind of pre—preretirement. Yeah. Mhmm.
Scott BennerI just hope this is funny to you. The next line of what I wrote says, before I go on, I thought it would amuse you to know that I'm beginning to think writing this was a waste of time. Yeah. And that's not a joke. I got into it and I started thinking, like, I do not need to be, like, picking through my stupid feelings Friday morning at 06:00 in the morning laying in bed trying to type quietly because Kelly's, like, snoozing hard still. And, like—and—and I'm, like, there tight. I got up. I left the room. I went and did it somewhere else so I could type more vigorously. And, plus I—I was in a weird angle, you know, in bed—in bed. It's gonna start hurting my elbow because I'm old. And—but—but I really did have the thought of, like, this is stupid. Like, even this feels like—but it's not that I think it's stupid to share it or that it's stupid to think it or write it down. I start thinking, how is this gonna help somebody? And if it's not, then what's the point of it? I'm even thinking about that now while I'm talking to you about it. Okay? Right. Right. As I—I—I said, and certainly after here, I—I said it—this is, at the very least, self indulgent and at its worst, about to appear boastful. And I said, so let me try to turn this ship in a direction that has some potential value for you. In 2018, about two years after I started Juice Box, I ran across a person online saying they were gonna be more bold with their insulin. It was the first time I ever felt like the podcast was reaching people. Today, people tell me the show has been valuable to them, but it can be difficult for me personally to quantify those messages. But today, as I mentioned, I looked around a little bit. I found a mother talking about nudging up a low blood sugar. That is not a word people used before I said it. A blogger, like I said to you earlier, was talking about the intention of crushing it and catching it. People say Bolton Vincent all the time. When you Google reference me about pre—when you Google pre bolus, it references my words, whether it references me or not. Their reference to tug of war at a mealtime around insulin pops up in Google searches around diabetes without attaching itself to me. I've seen references to stopping arrows using a blanket of insulin, a lot of other stuff out in the world. And I just told people, I'm like, please—I said, and still, and please don't read this as melancholy because I am not melancholy. I wonder what I am not doing that I could be doing. Not so much from—for—I said not for you so much, but for me so that I can stop feeling like I'm wasting time. And then the way I tried to bring it back to people is I said, if you wanna help me feel like my time is being spent valuably, take some of yours and learn about your diabetes in a way that gives you more—more health, more happiness, and more time. So even while I was writing this thing about me, I was two thirds of the way through it and I was like, if this can't be valuable to somebody, I'm not gonna post it anywhere. Mhmm. I'm not looking for people to tell me because I know what's gonna happen. I've been doing this a long time. Right? Like—and also even that, and I shouldn't say this out loud, even the people who are gonna come back to me to hold me up like a mother, I'll go back and answer them. I'll say, appreciate your time, like, the—your responding. I'll respond to everybody tonight. But I know in my mind that feeds the post, and it makes someone else who hasn't tried the podcast read it and think, oh, I wonder what these people are talking about. Even that is me trying to engineer finding other people to find information that will hopefully leave them happier and healthier. And then the other thing is weird, and you know me. I don't think of myself as the person I'm describing, but I clearly am. But it's not how I think of myself. Like, it's—it's how I think of myself when I do this, but you and I are doing right now or when I sit and write that. Yeah. But if you caught me offhandedly at a movie and asked me about me, I don't know that I'd ever mention any of this. That feels bipolar to me somehow. But I think it's got something to do with the disconnect of the fact that I don't have any human facing contact about what I do. I really think that might be the problem. Like, I've—no. I don't get it back. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it—it—it's not the same to have somebody write it to you. Like, when you're at Friends for Life or you're at Touched by Type one or you do something like that or at a gas station. I've had people approach me in public. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, then you feel it. But there's so much time in the middle of those things happening that like, you know, eventually, I've been in this room for four months churning out content. And I don't—I don't even talk to anybody in a while. So much so that there are people in my life who will contact me and say, hey, today's episode, you should go listen to it. And I—I'll stop and listen. And it happened to me the other day, a gentleman from Canada who's blind. His name is Roger. There's so many valuable takeaways in his conversation. And I recorded it eight weeks ago, and as I was listening back to it, I didn't remember some of it. Like, it's like I was hearing it for the first time. Alright. I'm done. Sorry.
Erika ForsythWell, no. I—I think what is interesting that's standing out too is separating, like, the dry—like, you have this drive and purpose to wanna help people. And as you're reading your post and thinking about the feedback and people thinking, oh, is this just you looking for validation and compliments? It's— Some people are gonna think that, but it's—you're wrong if you think that. Yeah. But the dry—the drive is how can I help more people because the helping is what— It keeps me—it keeps me motivated? Yeah. Like, I can—there's a number of things. I used to just use downloads, but then Apple changed their algorithm and everybody changes how their—their content, like, counting works. And then it wasn't—this is gonna sound strange probably, but it wasn't enough to motivate me. I guess, though, I don't gamble because I couldn't possibly risk enough to win enough for it to mean something. Like, I wouldn't—I would never gamble $10 to win 20. Like, do you know what mean? Like, I—I already have $20. I would never risk $10 over that. And so the amount I need to risk to win something that would actually hit me that hard, I would never risk in my entire life so I don't gamble. And so part of that answer is that if I can't keep building and winning big, then it doesn't feel like the slot paid off. And then I have to find that somewhere else to keep making the content. Not because making it's not valuable or I don't love hearing from people. Like, all that is true. It just gets really complicated because of—for reasons that I don't think I completely understand. Right. I—I don't believe I'm actually ever gonna completely understand. It'll probably take another generation of having jobs like mine until, like, it's something we can all put our finger on. But, like, I—you know, it's—it's hard and I don't—this is weird. You know? So then I'm just thinking if people are listening, they might be wondering or questioning. So if you can't—but the only way to kind of know that you're helping people is by feedback. Yeah. I—and I don't wanna ask them. And I don't wanna ask them for it. Yeah. Right. So then is it more about, like, the belief and kind of internal affirmation and validation that you could offer yourself that you are helping. It works until the competitive part of me catches up with me. And then the competitive—but—which, by the way, is how something like this gets accomplished. I've been making a diabetes podcast for twelve years. It—that's popular and—and exists in enough downloads to carry— Well, the idea is to drive. Feel like me. Like—like, you know, there are times where you look out into the world and see, like, crazy business people, and you realize, like, it takes that lunatic right there to get that accomplished. Right? Because most of us would be like—most people listening, probably sound crazy. Like, I work all night, like, all the time, like, constantly, to be honest. I'm gonna work. I'm gonna get up tomorrow morning on Saturday. I'm gonna work. I'm get—gonna up and write something. I'm gonna make social media for something. I'm gonna think about what I'm gonna talk to you about next time. Jenny and I are putting another series together about something. I'll do notes. I'll mine old content to find different ways to talk to you guys about, like, you know, simple ideas, just looking for word ways to reword them or looking for different delivery systems for them that are outside of social media because social media won't let me deliver it to you the way, you know, it wants. There's nothing sexy about the stuff I'm talking about, so most of the algorithms don't care about it. And I don't get up and think like, oh, what a waste of time. Like, I don't—I—I think it's awesome. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to do this. Seriously, like, it—what a stroke of luck. I've had, like, real jobs before. This is way better. This is way way way better. I haven't cut myself. I'm not dirty at the end of the day. I don't smell weird when it's over. It's a lot of value in this for me, and it does mean something to me. Yeah. It's almost like a receiving line can feel. If you've ever been through, like, at a wedding or a—or a funeral or something like that. Like, the last person to shake your hand at your mom's funeral is as devastated and trying to support you as the first person was. But by the time you get to the end, you just think, where's the end of this line at? You know? Like, I gotta get out of here because the messaging is only so varied. So I'm happy for you Yeah. when your a one c is better and your variability is lower and your eyesight improved. And like all the other things that get said to me, it's—it's not lost on me, and it's certainly not like—it's not small in any way. You are also not the first person to tell me that if you're telling me today. And by the way, here's the conundrum. Please don't stop telling me that because it's the only thing that keeps me going. So it's just a very—do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. There's no, like, balance to it. It's like all or nothing constantly. And—and—and because it's spread out oddly, I get it when it's given to me. And most of my time is just spent sitting here. But the post today, you—I'm guessing you weren't thinking, I—I need a little hit of dopamine, and I need some affirmation. So I'm gonna make this post that may land as if I'm seeking that. But, really, it's a reflection of—right. Is that right? Yeah. I just woke up, and I started thinking about wasted time. Yeah. And I saw that number recently that—like, somebody's talked about how many weekends they had left. And I was like, oh god, how many weekends do I have left? And then I looked and then you realize the actuarial table, which by the way is incredibly accurate. It says I'm only gonna live for twenty, twenty six more years, something like that. Like, so what the hell? Like, that means I'm in the last third of my life. Right? And, you know, I see how people treat people in their sixties. It isn't with a ton of respect all the time. So, like, this is, like—is this my last decade to have an impact on the world? This is my last decade to have impact on my kids? My kids are gonna stop listening to me pretty soon. They're not gonna come back and ask until it's—till I'm too old to answer. That's when they're gonna realize I'm a valuable asset. So there's all that. My wife and I have been married thirty years. Clearly, one of us is gonna kill the other one with a pillow soon. It's gonna be me.
Erika ForsythThat's actually not true, but that's right.
Scott BennerI'm not losing, Erica. I'm gonna win. I—we joke all the time. Like, if one of us dies first, the other one is gonna first think I won. Like, did I—I outlasted that son of a bitch. Oh my gosh. I've been looking at, like, moving to a southerly state that we can't move to because my wife's job is here. And I'm even one of those people, like, I go, I think I should do that. That would definitely make me happy. It's not feasible. I just won't think about it again. That's it. Like, that's fine. I just won't think about that again. Maybe it'll work out in the future. Maybe I'll die in this house. I have no idea. I won't opine it. It won't make me crazy. That's it. Like, I'm—I'm very accepting of whatever's happening around me. I'm not a person who—I don't dream very big. The only thing I dream big about is finding more people that have diabetes to give them better outcomes as much as I possibly can. Mhmm. I even at this point think I've covered the part of, like, leaving something behind for my daughter that she can benefit from. I don't really think there's much more for me to do there. Maybe some pregnancy stuff for, you know, for older people. Like, that might, you know, be valuable for down the line. But—and also it's a job now, so I can't not do it. Mhmm. You know what I mean? And—and I don't have that feeling of, oh gosh, I wish I didn't have to do this. I don't feel like that at all. I actually like it a lot. I just had somebody ask me. It was one of my daughter's friends. She's like, do you really like making that podcast? And I was like, oh, you mean? I said, yeah. I really do. Why? And she goes, every day you have to talk to somebody? And I was like, yeah. She was, ugh. Just like—I could. She's like, I wouldn't wanna do that. I said, that's the best part of my day. I said that in front of my family, and I apologize to everybody. I said, you guys are the best part of my day. But, like, like, I—the part right your workday. Yeah. The best part of my workday is talking to somebody I've never met before. Always. Every day, I love it. As a matter of fact, I did not record yesterday and the day before on purpose to, like, prep my taxes and stuff like that. Mhmm. And after two days of not recording, I was like, ugh, I miss not recording with people. Like, so Mhmm. I tell you I like hearing their stories and that's true, but then I also told you that I can't remember their stories eight weeks later. I feel like I'm a repository for people's stories sometimes and that I don't remember them in detail as much as I remember them in feeling or vibe or something. And then I think that informs better the way I answer the next person, which then leaves the conversation more valuable for people who are listening in. Like, I think that's what I'm doing, but I don't even know that for sure. You know what I mean?
Erika ForsythWell, it's a lot—it would be a lot of details to hold on to and could be also a response of your kind of nervous system in a protective way, because you do hold—you hear and hold a lot of pain and trauma as one would in a therapy space. And so I wonder too that you're—you're absorbing, you're recognizing patterns, you're remembering the feelings, and responding out of that. But the details— You gotta let go of for defensive—like, personal defensive reasons. Yeah. So I'm not overburdened with them at any point. Also, I've also learned that people listening to me have a cavalier attitude about horrible things actually helps them. Like, I get a lot of notes about that. I—I was so sure our lives were over till I heard Scott laughing about his daughter having a problem or, like, two people on the podcast jokingly talking about something that happened in the past that if it would happen to me right now, I would think was the end the world. Like, so even that is—it's not performative. I don't perform on the podcast. That's gotta be obvious to people, I would hope. If—and that's by the way, that's the other thing. Like, you can't control how people take you in. Mhmm. So there are people out there who fundamentally misunderstand me. I can't do anything about that. You know? And then there are people who get it. That's just—that's crazy. Like, that I do—have you any idea how many—how many people I talked to who I think, like, I should keep a list there in case my wife goes. This won't—this lady made a lot of sense. I have to look her up afterwards. Because you start having, like, really—like, it's almost like speed. I think I kinda do speed dating that's recorded, but about, like, a certain topic because I'm—I'm very careful not to know what we're talking about before we start. I really, really do not wanna know what we're gonna talk about before we start because I wanna be surprised by it. I wanna have a natural reaction to it, and I want the people listening to feel like they're learning this as we go to and not just hearing me regurgitate a question that I know is gonna end in a certain place. Mhmm. And I don't find that difficult. Like, I find that kind of invigorating. Do—do you—do you like that? I mean, people come in—you don't know what your day is gonna be. Right?
Erika ForsythI don't unless, you know, I've gotten to know them over weeks or months. Do you find that comfortable or uncomfortable? I think once—I guess, it just probably depends on the—the—the situation and the—and the goal and the theme of the therapy. But I think that's part of the nature of the job. You know? You don't know—even if you're working towards a goal, someone might present in a way different mood and affect one week than they do the next, and that's—that's part of the nature of the job, and I guess I like that. Yeah. I do too. I—I—I love everything about what I do, to be perfectly honest. Mhmm. I don't like Apple Podcasts. They can go to hell. I don't like Facebook and that kind of stuff. But the rest of it, I really like. Anyway, I don't know. I hope people know I'm trying to help, and I hope it's valuable to them. And I think it is for most people, like, you know Mhmm. And then those who it's not valuable for, I would expect they would just put it down and move on and try to find something else that's valuable for them. I don't even feel—I'm not—I don't even feel like I'm letting anybody down, to be perfectly honest. I don't know. Like, I'm a very competitive person. And when I am not, like, winning at the rate that I expect to win at, it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. So, anyway— And—and then not helping. Yeah. And—and then not helping. Mhmm. And then vicious circle. As it goes again. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Okay. Well, Erica, this is a lot about me. Erika Forsyth dot com if you felt like Erica could listen to your problems while you prattle on and—and offer a interjection that would be valuable to you. How do I finish with this? How do you know? How do we land this plane? I can take it. Do I sound like an asshole? Do I sound like—am I—do I come off as pompous or narcissistic or like—but I don't—I know how I feel. I don't know if that's how I seem. Well, I—I think since I'm—I'm not your therapist— Of course. —and I'm not your, you know, I've gotten to know you on and off screen, so to speak. Yeah. Right? And in person, and I know—I—I know you beyond what people might think how they know you. Mhmm. Right? So I could see people saying you are—you are narcissistic by even talking about yourself in this episode by posting and seeking validation, but I know what's underneath that is truly you are wanting to make sure that as many people hear and—and want to receive and integrate what you have to—to say about how to manage diabetes. Yeah. Like, that's your drive is—is to help and want people to feel successful with their lives. The drive isn't so that people can say, Scott, you're amazing. Yeah. But that's what I think what people often—yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, I guess, that's the feedback. Yeah. I appreciate it. I think that if that's how it appears to people, I—it would be odd if they were still listening an hour into this. But I would say to them that mine is a really weird position to be in. You should try it one time. I'm not being vulnerable. I actually am vulnerable. Right? Like, I wouldn't know how to do this. I'm not doing this thing in a way that I know will work. Like, this, I think it works because I only know how to do it like this. If you're gonna put yourself in this position, then these are the things you're gonna talk about to some degree or another because this is the situation. This is how I feel. You guys should know how I feel, you know, because I'm the one talking to you about other stuff too. So if you wanna know where I'm coming from, like, this is where I'm coming from mostly. Yeah. You know? Like—and so you can measure everything else I'm saying against this because when I am being silly or flippant, I'm—this is still who I am at my core even though I—as I said earlier, I don't know that this is how I would describe myself. Mhmm. But I just think that's how—I think it's just because I grew up in the seventies, to be perfectly honest with you. You—you know what I mean? Like, because I am—I am a sweet, kind, soulful person who really thinks about things way more than he should and—but not to the point of insanity. Erica will tell me a lot when we're done recording, "I love listening to you think about this stuff." Mhmm. Because not everybody sits and—and thinks about these things all the time. And it's—it's important to me to know that not only are we doing something, but it's valuable and it's being done for the right reasons. I am like a boy scout like that. Mhmm. But I would totally shoplift when I was a kid. I just want you to know. And—and—and—and there's part of me that, like—I mean, there's also a complete part of me that doesn't match any of that at all. Yeah. You—you know? But, like, this thing that I'm doing, this is me. You're getting the—when you're listening to the podcast, you're getting an odd mix of the best part of me and the most cynical part of me kinda blended together, and a lot of me is missing from this. And that's just a part of you. Yeah. Right? But that's what we or the audience, right, the listeners, the viewers, whatever— Whatever they are. —see and hear. But that's just a part of you, but it's—but it's public. Right? Wouldn't it? Yeah. But it's not the whole thing. It's not the whole thing. We are all made up of many, many parts. I don't even know that I could properly share all of who I am. I don't even know if I'd know how to do that. Like, if you told me to cut myself into a pie, I'm sure there's plenty of pieces of the pie I wouldn't be able to fill in and that I would—and if somebody came along and said, oh, you're like this, I'd be like, don't see that about me at all, but it's probably a 100% true. I'm just giving you the parts that I think lead to happier, healthier. Like, that—that's really all I'm trying to do. I just think I'm—like—again, I think I have a common sense way of thinking about stuff that people can understand, and it tends to translate well that way. Because certainly, you could figure out how to pre bolus on your own. And—and I'm also incredibly—I'm incredibly interested in how people think and why they think the way they do. Yeah. And that—that is a unique part of you that I think in—enables the podcast to be successful because you are thinking of those things, but also still really listening. Yeah. Why did— Why'd you say that? You're always thinking why. Yeah. Why'd you do that? Why did it occur to you that way? Why do you want that to happen? Like, that—the why is, like, it's so important. And, of course, like, you know, it probably take a Freudian, therapist ten minutes to figure out that I wanna know why my parents left me. Right? But, like, we're not gonna figure that out. They're dead. So, let's—let's try to figure out why you guys are making stupid silly mistakes and see if—see if you can fix them or if maybe I can. I wish for this to go on for a lot longer for a lot of reasons, but there's, like, part of me that just wants to be able to ten years from now go, hey, Erica. This is the last time you're ever gonna be on this podcast. And she'd tell me what you've noticed. Like, how did this grow? You know what I mean? Like, what do you think it did for people? And did I, you know, did I help it at all? Because it's—you know? Anyway, you're right. It's a weird thing to talk about. There are plenty of people who do not talk like this. I—I don't know if I ever said to you, but, like, recently, I've said it a bunch of the podcast. Somebody told me that I'm direct and that completely threw me for a loop. They're like, you're very direct. And I thought, no. I'm not. And then I realized to a lot of people, I'm well beyond direct. And I did—like, I just don't see the way I am as different than—than—I guess nobody else would either see themselves as different. But Mhmm. Apparently, I'm very direct, I guess. It's what they tell me. Anyway, guys, Erica's gotta go. Oh, gosh. It's late. Thank you very much. I really do appreciate your time. I know you didn't get to talk much, but thank you so much. No. It's all good. A huge thanks to today's sponsor, AbleNow. AbleNow offers tax advantaged able accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities. If you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify because of ongoing medical needs. With Able Now, you can save for a wide range of disability related expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid. And thanks to recent federal law updates, more people are eligible than ever before. Learn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. You spell that ablenow.com. There's links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com. I'd like to remind you again about the MiniMed seven eighty g automated insulin delivery system, which, of course, anticipates, adjusts, and corrects every five minutes twenty four seven. It works around the clock so you can focus on what matters. The juice box community knows the importance of using technology to simplify managing diabetes. To learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes, visit my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox. I'd like to thank the blood glucose meter that my daughter carries, the Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at kontoornext.com/juicebox. And don't forget, you may be paying more through your insurance right now for the meter you have than you would pay for the contour next gen in cash. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to Kontoor and all of the sponsors. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of the juice box podcast. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the juice box podcast private Facebook group, juice box podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome. Type one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. Have a podcast? Want it to sound fantastic? Wrongwayrecording.com.
