Scott Benner 12/3/24 Scott Benner 12/3/24

#1373 Caregiver Burnout: Making Career Sacrifices and Choices to Optimize T1D Care

Erika Forsyth provides strategies and encouragement for caregivers making career sacrifices to optimize T1D care.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
We are all together again, friends for this next episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

I'm back with Erica today in our fourth installment of the caregiver burnout series, today, we're going to be talking about making career sacrifices and choices to optimize care. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to work with Erica, you can find her at Erica forsyth.com, when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juicebox. To save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you're newly diagnosed, check out the bold beginnings series. Find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu in the feature tab of the private Facebook group, or go into the audio app you're listening in right now and search for Juicebox podcast, bold beginnings.

The episode you're listening to is sponsored by us Med, us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1515, 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us med. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voke hypo pen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon com forward slash, Juicebox Erica. This is the fourth episode in your caregiver burnout series. What an upbeat title that is yes, but very well put. And you know, I think needs to be talked about. What are we going to talk about today?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:13
Yes. So this is the fourth burden or theme that you know again, that came up from all of the research conducted over caregiver burden of parents to children with type one. And so this fourth theme, and we're discussing it through the burden or barrier to taking care of yourself or making choices you know for yourself is making career sacrifices and choices to optimize T 1d, care. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:41
do you think during this one, will we talk at all about the idea of people homeschooling when their kids are diagnosed? Because I see that come up a lot. Does that fit in this one?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:50
Yes, yes. Okay, good, absolutely. So like, like our other episodes, we have a quote that's taken from the research of a parent who is validating this theme. So do you want to read the quote? Oh, yeah,

Scott Benner 3:02
it's my turn. Now I rarely focus my energy on the company I work for. I just get off work as soon as I as possible. I used to leave early and return late to make money. Now I quit my job and found a new one that I can make a living while taking care of my child.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:18
Okay, okay, you could read this quote and think, Wow, is this parent becoming more balanced or, you know, we don't know, but oftentimes, from the research and from your stories, you know, we hear that because of this constant need to to monitor, to manage, the T, 1d that caregivers Do report experiencing some form of impact on their careers post diagnosis. So we're going to talk a little bit about

Scott Benner 3:45
this. Yeah, this happened to me. So, yeah, yeah.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:48
So did you make the choice to stay at home? Well,

Scott Benner 3:52
I mean, we made two different choices, the first one, and I just recently shared this with Arden, and I realized, as I was telling her, I don't think she knew this, but I think we were going to have three kids before Arden got diabetes. That was kind of like in our plan. And diabetes definitely kicked our ass, and it stopped us from having a third child. But I was a stay at home dad. I began being a stay at home dad in 2000 Wow, that really dates me, and the plan was to raise the kids, get them into kindergarten and then go back to work. So Cole was going to kindergarten as Arden was born about like, we kind of did that on purpose. We that was kind of the one thing we did on purpose that Cole would be around for like, a year while Arden was, you know, a baby, and then he'd go to school when she started toddling was kind of the idea. Then, when we realized that we probably weren't going to have another baby, and Arden got older and older, I was supposed to go back to work, and then we couldn't figure out how to accomplish that, like, because we were really bad at diabetes. Like, not good at it at all. And keeping in mind that diabetes back then meant. Like, we had a vial of insulin needles and, like, a little meter, that was it, right? But we didn't have a lot of direction from doctors and things like that. I guess I should say, we kept saying I should go back to work, and we needed me to, like, you know, but then we couldn't figure out how to do that. And then before long, it turned into, well, Arden's going to school, but she'll be home at 12. And then it was, Arden's going to school, but she'll be home at three. And like, who's going to be here and who's going to take care of the diabetes? And before you knew it, I looked up and I hadn't had a job in 20 years, you know what I mean. And that was not, not nearly part of the plan. And I will say, had I not done all this, I think it would have been detrimental to me, because I don't know where I am. Now, you know what I mean, like, I can't get a real job, Eric, I'm a podcaster, like, like, but, you know, aside from that, like, I don't know what I would do. Like, I was a real part of the workforce at one point. You know, it felt like I gave the idea of something or the possibility of something away, to stick around and pay attention to diabetes. So I'm sure a lot of people end

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:05
up doing and did that feel like a sacrifice at the time? Yeah? Or did yeah? No,

Scott Benner 6:11
no, it definitely did. Because, like, I love being a stay at home parent. I was really I think I was good at it, and I got a lot of enrichment out of it for me personally, like I've talked before about the idea that, like, you know, when Cole was a year or two old, I realized that, like, there were these, like things that came up that my wife seemed to kind of just intrinsically know the answer to, or and I would struggle with them. And I thought, like, if I don't give myself over to this process, like, he's going to end up having a half of an experience, and she's going to have this experience taken from her, because she's not getting to do it, and he's not getting what he would have gotten from her. So I thought, I have to throw myself into this. And it's when I, very early on, stopped looking at raising Cole as a task and more of a calling, like I tried to do it like that, you know. So I loved it. But at the same time, your friends are making money you really haven't lived till you've bought your wife a Christmas present with her money that she ends up not liking, you know, like so you start having that feeling like, I'd like to contribute. I'd like to make my own way. I want to feel more valuable that way as well. So yeah, it felt like I gave some things away. And I have had reflective moments in my life where, I mean, I joked about it a second ago, but I'm like, I don't know where I fit in society if I try to jump back into it. And I probably don't like I probably on paper, I don't think I'm hireable. You know what? I mean? Like, I, the last time I held a job, it was, was 1999

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:46
you know? Yes, well, we're grateful you're here. You're doing a great job for us here. Well, lovely, but

Scott Benner 7:53
I'm barely a greeter at Walmart on paper, is what I'm saying. So, like, you know? And I, I just didn't want a job that, like, a retiree got, like, as a I didn't want to be like, 45 years old and going back into the world and not being able to, like, even get back to the level where I was right, right. But anyway, I tried very hard to let that go. If you take insulin or so faucinyas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with jivo kypo pen. My daughter carries GEVO hypopin everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly, and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store jivo kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke. Glucagon.com/risk, for safety information

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:23
that is a big I mean, you are living and breathing what? Again, this research has reflected in the research, again that's been gathered from 1995 to 2021 for many parents that this burden of care results in, as you just said, the decision to adjust their work hours or leave jobs or careers entirely. These are things. These are themes that I talk about with clients, and I've heard people share right on the podcast, maybe you decide not to pursue a higher career ambitions like going back to get your higher level degrees grad school, you know. P. PhDs because of the work demands of taking care of your child, you might have avoided or avoid desired job opportunities. Maybe you get there's an opportunity for a raise or a promotion that may involve more travel, and you you can't take it because of the need to take care of your child. A lot of people stay at certain jobs because of health insurance, right? Like we are really driven by that need. And if you at a job that maybe you're not as satisfied with, but they have great health care benefits, you maybe make that sacrifice, right, to stay there.

Scott Benner 10:39
That's gotta happen so much with diabetes, right? Like it has to where people, you know, like the difference between something covering 60% and something covering 80% on items that are this expensive is, you know, it's impactful. You know, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:55
yes. And then, and then, even if you do decide to change jobs and go and you go through the whole rigmarole of changing insurances, insurance plans, and that is really complicated and challenging, right? Like you have to go through maybe prior authorization, etc, etc, you guys know, all the drills that experience, in and of itself might keep you at a job, even to say, I just, I can't go through this another insurance change for some of you may not have a nurse at school, so perhaps you have one of one of the if this is in a two parent household, whether or not you decide that one parent can no longer work or has to only have you know remote jobs, because who's going to run down to The School to change the pod or the device if there's no nurse, if you're at a private school or in public schools, you only have the nurse on Tuesdays. And for some of you might even decide, as are you saying to home school? Yeah,

Scott Benner 11:52
I hear a lot of people talk about just the fear of letting someone else make a medical decision one way or the other. There's people who don't trust the school nurse. Let it. They don't trust anybody like, you know, and I understand that, like, and I had this conversation recently with a person where they were saying, like, I don't, there's no one at my kid's school that I feel comfortable making, like, a dosing decision. And, you know, they can call me, that's great, but you still don't know what they're drawing up. You still don't know what they're twisting up with the pen or whatever's going on, dialing up on the pump, and I still don't feel comfortable. You know what I mean, like, so if the mom or the dad's like, I don't really feel like I know what I'm doing, I'm supposed to be telling them what they're like. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, how am I gonna give this at least when I'm there, it feels like I did it. It's me. I double checked it, you know, I don't know. It's just there's a lot of fear in there, and I lived through absolutely all that. I don't know how often I talk about it, but I thought it was important for Arden to go to preschool, so I took her to a half day preschool a couple of times a week. But you'd think, like, oh, there's your downtime. I just went out in the parking lot and sat in my car like, I was like, Oh, well, you go have this preschool experience, and I'll sit out here in case something goes wrong. And I don't think I went in maybe, like once in six months, but, you know, leaving was too far and, you know, it just felt ridiculous. Now, everybody can watch TV on their phones, but, man, I didn't have that, you know what? I mean, would have been awesome, but it just instead, I just sat there. I'll sit here for a few hours while she just in case. Yeah, and those are hours of my life that are like she's off being enriched, and I'm staring at the dashboard, you know? And then you've got to be able to do that without, without it feeling like a burden, or without it making you angry, or, you know, it's a word I'm looking for. I can't think of it resentful, yes, yeah, and

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:43
yes, so, and for some parents, this is, you know, it's just $1 and cents type of decision, right? Like, you have to stay at the certain job, but you need to keep it remote, or we can afford to only have one income coming in, so that, you know, but there's, there's emotion involved. And so when we talk about the tool, this is a really complicated one, because it might just be a dollars and cents issue, right? So that the tool with this is, is to notice the why, which we've been talking about, which, again, can be a challenge when you're burdened and in working full time or in trying to manage your child's type one, but underneath that, it's okay to like you just said. You don't want to be resentful. But let's say you've been in a career, and all of a sudden you get the job opportunity of a lifetime that you've been working towards, and you feel like you need to turn that down in order to be around for your child and to manage like there's grief there. Do

Scott Benner 14:46
you know how I became a stay at home dad? No daycare cost $100 more than I made a month. Oh, yes, okay, that's simple, like we went to the first of all, nobody. I mean, I don't want to say nobody. What? Did not want to. I'm going to make somebody upset, but I'm just going to tell you how I felt you can do whatever you want with it. I felt like we had a baby to put it in a kennel. That's what daycare felt like to me. I was like, what do we make it for if we're just going to go stick it in that building? Now, I had that feeling to begin with, but fair enough, that's what we were going to do. And then you shop around. Found a decent one where you felt like, oh, the kid might live through this, you know. Okay, it's close to your house. And then here's the bill with the month. And I remember going back to Kelly and saying, like, I make less than this cost. I'm like, I'm not on some fast track to be the CEO here. You know what I mean, like. So I said, Well, why don't I just stay home? Well, actually, the first thing I said to her is, why don't you stay home with him? And then she laughed at me for a while because she had, she had what they called opportunities, and I was maybe more working a job, you know, she actually very kindly said, like, I think you'd be great at this. Why don't you stay with him? And then I did. And then you realize, like, wow, like, we need the money, but it was going to be gone one way or the other. You know, like, it sucks to have to be put in that position, but diabetes puts you in that position, like, every day, to some degree or another, where you're just, like, it's always, like, you said $1 and cents, you know, decision you're making. So it's the whole, I mean, it just you're not ready for it. And by the way, just because it was a good financial decision doesn't mean you just wake up with, like, rainbows and unicorns flying through your head the next day. You're like, I just stopped working up until that moment, spent my entire life trying to get to the job I had. And I had some really terrible jobs, Erica, like, I worked my way through terrible jobs to get the, I don't know, the cleaner, at least I was indoors, you know? Like, and I was like, and I was like, okay, like, I've, I've worked my way up to this spot. If I leave, like, I fall back down to where I was. I hadn't ingrained myself in that place yet in the world, you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't just go trading off that again. Five years later, the world would have left me behind at that point. And then that all is in your head while you're doing this. So anyway, Jesus, this sucks. No wonder it's easy,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:06
well and yes, and I think as a parent, like it feels air quote, easy to make sacrifices for our children, right? Like we would say, Well, of course we would want to do what's best for our child, and perhaps saying no to that job opportunity, or saying no to a traveling job versus a remote job or an office job. Rather, that might feel easy in the moment, but there is more loss potentially there to your identity, to your social community network, to the way you feel like you're contributing to society and feeling those things doesn't mean that you're a bad parent or that you there is that resentment, maybe, is there sadness and grief around that it's a loss, right? So you're grieving the loss, you're grieving the diagnosis and the diabetes, and then there could be this kind of compound grief and loss around work, if you feel like you need to be making these decisions and sacrifices. Diabetes

Scott Benner 18:03
comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US med has done that for us. When it's time for Arden supplies to be refreshed, we get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from us. Med, you open up the email, it's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one. Us. Med, has done that for us. An email arrives. We click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple. Us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put this stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514. Or go to my link, us, med.com/juicebox, using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juicebox podcast. And there's also a flip side to the coin, which is, you could get put into that position but not be able to make the sacrifice. Like, so, yes, right? So financially, you're like, I can't just stay home, or put this kid in private school, or home school them, or wait, whatever the all the things we just talked about, you still have to get up and go to work the next day, and that kid still exists, and all of your problems still exist. So now the burden just shifts from like, oh, I gave this up and I feel bad about it, or I am resentful about it, to Oh, my God, I'm worried all the time while I'm at work, and I can't do a good job because I'm worried about this kid constantly, like you. Like you're not escaping this one way or the other. I think is the you got to pay the devil somewhere in this, in this scenario, you know what I mean? I've heard

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:07
that for the most part. I would say that's absolutely true for most families. It is rare that one and again, in a two parent household, if one parent can say, You know what, we're okay, I can, I can leave my career and and be the primary caregiver to our child with type one, but you are, I think you're also, conversely, let's say you can't, you don't have that luxury to make those kinds of decisions. And you do have to schlep into the office every day. And both of you do, yeah, and then you're trying to manage, and then you're trying to figure out, oh my gosh, we have to go in and help change the device. There's no nurse, you know that's there's so much you're

Scott Benner 20:43
lucky if you're in an office, because you could be at the bottom of a ditch, you know what I mean, or up a tree, or any number of horrible jobs that I had when I was growing up. Listen, I'll be clear about this. I was making $1,600 a month. Okay? I worked really hard to get to $1,600 a month, like, prior to, like, I don't know how many, how often people listen to this podcast, but like, coming out of high school, I didn't have any opportunities at all. I keep thinking of, oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Why am I thinking of that movie? Because he uses some phrase about opportunity anyway. That's way off track. But, like, I came out of there, I'll figure that out later. Okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:18
I haven't seen that in years. It's a good move. You should say it. I

Scott Benner 21:20
came out I came out. I was working at my uncle's sheet metal shop. I was making $5 an hour, five like, I worked a whole day of my life to make $40 and then the government took eight of it. I don't know why they felt like they needed my eight bucks, but they took it. I was going home with, like, 210, or 3060, 90, 120, 100, like, I mean, I maybe had, you know, God, it's so sad. I maybe had six, 700 bucks at the end of the month. Like, I worked a whole month for that money, right? So without college to get myself up to 1600 I was like, that was hard, and it took years, like, literal years, and then that money comes off the books. I guess this is where I should point out. I don't we didn't exactly make coal on purpose. He knows this, so it's not a big deal. We were still in the, you know, trying to get their phase, and then all of a sudden, we lost 17 or $1,600 a month. We were gonna lose 17 if we went to daycare. We lost $1,600 a month in income. And then there were costs. Do you remember the first time you bought diapers and you were like, Wait, how much are these? Yes, you know. And then forget diapers, insulin pumps, CGM, doctor's visits, blood tests over patches. Like, you know, I don't know everything all the like, think of that drawer in your house. What's in there? You know what I mean? Oh, geez. Again, Erica, yeah, all you do is bum me out. Go ahead.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:46
So what we're again? Yes, I hear that, and we're wanting the hope is right to to validate your experience, that this is something that is, you know, in the research that you guys are experiencing, and it's hard, but in this space of, you know, in this burden, it's okay to to validate the grief and loss around whatever that may be, whether it's feeling like you you have to stay in the workforce or you have to leave it wherever that rub is right, the tension, it's okay to to grieve that it doesn't make you a bad parent. So

Scott Benner 23:21
that's where the tools lie for this to get yourself around that are is, I mean, you have it put here so nicely, I don't I feel like if I'm going to say it, I'm going to mess it up. Go over them again for me.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:31
Okay, so, so in the in noticing the why, you know, wanting to encourage you to think about the burden that you're experiencing in in the career, in the insurance space, if you are feeling angry, resentful around some of these sacrifices, that that feels that that's normal, and there might be grief in that right in that space, you know, it's, it is. It's connected to the diabetes, but it's also separate, because you're feeling like you have to choose and to lose something that may be really important to you, and then, and secondly, to notice your thoughts and feelings around the decision when you do make it, if it's not just a dollars and cents decision, are you leaving a job because you feel like, is there shame driving that right? Like, Oh, I'm going to be a terrible parent if I choose to stay in the workforce, because I really find belonging and identity and satisfaction, and I'm really good at this thing that I do, but if I stay, am I going to feel, am I going to shame myself that I'm not a good enough caregiver to my child? So I probably should just quit and do this right? Like this is beyond all of the dollars and cents things that we're talking about,

Scott Benner 24:43
right? Well, the resent me too. I mean, listen, you can't have resentment because it's such a horrible thing, because it's you could feel resentful, but if you model the resentment, then you resent the diabetes and the choice it made you make, and the kid's going to have a. Time separating themselves from the diabetes, so it's going to feel like you resent them. And they could, yeah. I mean, it could. It might not, but it could, yes. And I think we all know somebody who, you know, had something happen in their life out of step with a plan, and it revolves around the arrival of a child. And you know, if you've been alive long enough, you get to look up in 20 years and see that that does not make for a great relationship so, and then it hurts people on both sides of that problem, to the kid and the and the parent. So I don't know. I mean, it's a lot of pressure here, but it very important, like it's a very important thing to notice, use your tools, get through it and hopefully just move on, because it in the end. Like, I hate to say this, but, like, it usually works out okay. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, everybody's financial situation is different, obviously, but, but people usually find a way to, like, exist that they're at the level that they're earning at. Like, hopefully, you know, yeah, I know sometimes you're just at a level where you can't get ahead no matter what you do. But I don't know. It's hard to talk about money. It

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 26:07
is, it is this, and this is a hard burden to discuss, because there are no really easy tools to be like, well, just, just go find a good job that you can stay at home and do all the things, right? So just the I think it's important to validate, because this is a significant part of the caregiver burden that isn't always emphasized, but is there something that part of the mental load, part of the things that you're carrying as a caregiver? And so I think it's important for us to highlight and validate and to encourage you to if you are able to have the luxury of time and space to think about your feelings around it and honor and offer the self compassion and

Scott Benner 26:45
no shame if you have to sell pictures of your feet online, I wish I had prettier feet. I would do it.

Unknown Speaker 26:51
I mean, you gotta

Scott Benner 26:53
do what you gotta do. I don't, you know. I mean, listen, there are other ways to get by, you know. And I think the important thing too is it doesn't need to be forever. It feels like it and but if I try to look back on my life, like, is there a moment where I could have just said, Okay, fine, she'll be okay if she comes home and I'm not here, yeah, and the answer is yes, but at that point, I was doing this, so I didn't have to go looking outside of the home, but I could have, like, at some point, like she knew what she was doing. We had a routine. There were, you know, like we had safety measures set up in different places. I could have gone to work. It wouldn't have been terrible. Would I have had to have left sometimes, maybe to help with something at school once or twice, probably. But also, there's an argument to be made that they would have just found a different way to do it if I couldn't be there, you know. So I don't know, make your

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:45
choices. Yeah, and things are seasonal. That's important point. Ooh, that was

Scott Benner 27:50
lovely. The way you said that, yes, things are seasonal. Is that a thing you say to people? Things are seasonal?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:56
I don't know. Maybe I should, though, yeah, I

Scott Benner 27:58
would definitely say that if I was you also, I think if your second toe is longer than your big toe, then you're not good for pictures. I think that's the is that what the research says? I know, if we're calling it research or not, Erica, but that's what I've heard, okay, from the kids. I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank

Unknown Speaker 28:16
you. You're welcome. You

Scott Benner 28:25
a huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Don't forget us med.com/juice, box. This is where we get our diabetes supplies from. You can as well use the link or call 888-721-1514, use the link or call the number. Get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us. Med, a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gevok, glucagon. Find out more about G vo hypo pen at G VOQ, glucagon.com, forward slash, Juicebox. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com, forward slash juice box. I want to thank you so much for listening and remind you please subscribe and follow to the podcast wherever you're listening right now, if it's YouTube, Apple podcast, Spotify, or any other audio app, go hit follow or subscribe, whichever your app allows for, and set up those downloads so you never miss an episode, especially in Apple podcasts, go into your settings and choose, download all new episodes. Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less? A little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would. I think I see something here, but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox podcast. It begins at. At Episode 1000 you can also find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better, and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way, recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way. Recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You want rob you.

#1372 IDU: Who Is Bridgit Mendler

Who is this Bridgit Mendler?

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox podcast.

Arden's back, and today we're going to figure out why Bridget Mendler is a rocket scientist. Just hang out. You'll see what I'm talking about. Is she a rock. I don't know what she is. She's shooting something into space. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice, box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange.org/juice, box. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink, ag one.com/juice box. Guys, the holidays are upon us. Cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box to check out the Save 40% on all of the great gifts that'll be under the tree this year. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes. Check out the Juicebox podcast. Private Facebook group juice box podcast, type one diabetes. This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the continuous glucose monitor that my daughter wears, the Dexcom g7 dexcom.com/juice, box. Get started today using this link, and you'll not only be doing something great for yourself, you'll be supporting the Juicebox podcast. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored by touched by type one. Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram, and of course, at touched by type one.org, check out that Programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes touched by type one.org Okay, we're back. We're making another episode of, I don't understand which I'm coming to believe. I don't love the title of, I mean, I like it for a title of a podcast, but for an episode title, it stinks, because

Arden Benner 2:24
I think it should just be named.

Scott Benner 2:30
Okay, I'll look into that. Is that, is that, um, website available?

Arden Benner 2:34
How many A's you use?

Scott Benner 2:37
Would there not be in a T at the end, eventually,

Arden Benner 2:42
well, there would, but like, it's about how many A's you put in it. Because, like, if you put seven A's and someone put eight as then you don't have the same website. You're making a

Scott Benner 2:50
point. But then how would you even tell people how to like? Because when you tell people to spell something they know, so would it be w, H, A, A, A, t.com, B, yeah. Yeah. What, Yeah, you're welcome. What.com? Is taken. W h, hold on a second. That's crazy. There's

Arden Benner 3:13
another, there's another genius out there. W

Scott Benner 3:16
H, A, A, A, t.com, that was, is the domain for sale for $2,000 $2,000 what they want for the domain? They won't be getting that. Let's try three A's and a T. It's registered five A's and a T, right? Somebody's registered all of these.

Arden Benner 3:43
This is a genius name.

Scott Benner 3:45
How come nobody bought them? If it's a genius name, all right, that's not our question. Dave, what's our question today?

Arden Benner 3:51
Brought up by you in Why are you pointing at me? You have it written down?

Scott Benner 3:56
I was trying to get you to say it. Oh,

Arden Benner 3:58
I'm not going to

Scott Benner 3:59
do that. Okay? Today, we're going to talk about Bridget Mendler. But what is your question? Go ahead. I think that you need background on who this woman is. Okay, so basically, Bridget Mendler

Arden Benner 4:18
is a god, no. I'm just kidding. Bridget Mendler is a woman who's what, in her 30s. Now, I

Scott Benner 4:25
don't know. I'm finding out everything right now, along with you. Hold on a second. And

Arden Benner 4:29
she was on Disney Channel. She was an actress on Disney's channel in shows such as Good Luck Charlie, and in the movies like Lemonade Mouth, um, that people might notice their kids watched, not me. I'm a grown adult. I've never seen such a thing. Yeah, she was on Disney Channel, and now she she's, like, one of the only Disney celebrities to make it out, not a drug abuser, and she went to Harvard for maybe, like, pure. PhD or something. She's a doctor now. She is like in politics too. People want her to run for president. One day, she's married, she's got a kid, I believe. I don't know. She's just like,

Scott Benner 5:15
she's

Arden Benner 5:17
okay. She made a comeback,

Scott Benner 5:19
and this is perplexing to you, or you need because, yeah,

Arden Benner 5:25
you think about like, she she made some of the, I was gonna say, the best music ever she made. She just made, like, hits when she was younger. She was really famous on Disney Channel, and she made songs that got really popular, and then she like, what does she do now? What does it say? Like, she, she for a medical degree.

Scott Benner 5:45
I'm looking here. So you're talking about a song called hurricane that we think hurricane, yeah,

Arden Benner 5:51
that's a good song. You know that song? Dad, yes, I know that.

Scott Benner 5:54
Do you want to sing it? No, I don't believe I could. And she has ready or not. Is another song that's hers that people might know. Yeah, okay, so hurricane, think the clouds are clogging up my brain like the weather drain, same as the tears on my face and I'm stuck business in the face. Okay, thanks. Oh yeah, that's her. So that incredibly popular song, right? Like, one of those, like, summertime, like, bop hits, right? Yeah, that when you're your kid, you run around with all your friends listening to fair.

Arden Benner 6:33
I mean, yeah, it was, yeah.

Scott Benner 6:35
I don't know any other songs between hurricane and Ready or not, okay?

Arden Benner 6:39
So I don't, I don't either. I don't either. Okay, but she had like, these two really popular songs, and then she was on, Good Luck Charlie. You know that we know what show that is. I do know that show? Yeah, yeah. She was like, I guess, yeah. She's basically the main character in that show.

Scott Benner 6:54
And so she was famous on television. Was that at the same time as the music? Was she doing both at the same time? I think so. All right, I'm gonna look at IMDB. Do people still use that? I'm gonna look her up too, Bridget Mendler, actress the secret world. So in 2012 when that show came out, she was on good luck, Charlie, when that came out, and then Jesse was in 2013 Oh, she was on the show, Jesse, and then they spun her off into Good Luck Charlie. Is that how it happened? Yes, this is okay.

Arden Benner 7:26
Oh. She was also on wizards of waver Waverly Place. She was, like, one of the brothers girlfriend. She was a big character on that show, really. She was in Alvin and the Chipmunks. Oh, I'm seeing it now. Yeah. She was in, like, a bunch of stuff. Here's something, a bunch of Disney things like, oh, okay, wait, I

Scott Benner 7:44
have to go back to the beginning. Let's figure out where this all started. We're gonna unfold the Bridget Mendler lore. She was first on something called the legend of Bucha as a voice. Then she did another voice on something she was in general hospital for one episode. What's a fun fact about General Hospital? While we're talking, my name's in that, is it not your name is in a courtroom scene in General Hospital, because one of the ladies, who's the head writer at General Hospital, I believe she's the head writer. Put your name into the show, because the podcast helped her so much. So she was in general

Arden Benner 8:17
she has a she has, like a normal husband, like she does. She didn't marry famous,

Scott Benner 8:22
none of that, yeah. So she did things like, she

Arden Benner 8:25
went to Harvard University, Harvard Law School, University of Southern California, and MIT, yeah, and

Scott Benner 8:31
you just said University of Southern California, like, it's not USC. Like, this is a good school. She went to a lot. She's 31 she has she's only 31

Arden Benner 8:41
Yeah, imagine, imagine your Bible saying that you're an actress, singer, songwriter and entrepreneur.

Scott Benner 8:47
I don't understand. Does Bridget Mendler have a Ph D, former Disney star, Bridget Mendler, clarify, she doesn't have her PhD yet. This was in March 2024, but I'll still fight for it. What does that mean? Oh, my God. Why does Bridget Mendler not have a PhD? Is there, like, there are so many articles that she doesn't have a PhD? Yeah, she's, like, a whole thing. She's

Arden Benner 9:12
a phenomenon. Oh, wait

Scott Benner 9:13
a minute, I'm on Reddit now. Bridget Mendler apologizing for not updating her LinkedIn profile came to me.

Arden Benner 9:19
Oh, yeah. So everyone's tried to, like, connect with her on LinkedIn and stuff like before, because obviously she has a LinkedIn, like, she's a normal person, needs a job. And the people were like, oh my god, Bridget Mendler is just like a normal person. Now I'm gonna try to connect with her on LinkedIn. So she has like, 1000s of connections. So I'm pretty sure

Scott Benner 9:36
Bridget Mendler is on LinkedIn, I guess makes sense. She's the CEO and founder at Northwood. The hell is Northwood. The Dexcom g7 is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast, and it features a lightning fast 30 minute warm up time that's right from the time you put on the Dexcom g7 till the time you're getting readings, 30 minutes. That's pretty great. It also has a 12 hour grace period, so you can swap your sensor when it's convenient for you. All that on top of it being small, accurate, incredibly wearable and light. These things, in my opinion, make the Dexcom g7 a no brainer. The Dexcom g7 comes with way more than just this, up to 10 people can follow you. You can use it with type one, type two, or gestational diabetes. It's covered by all sorts of insurances. And this might be the best part. It might be the best part alerts and alarms that are customizable, so that you can be alerted at the levels that make sense to you. Dexcom.com/juicebox, links in the show notes, links at Juicebox podcast.com, to Dexcom and all the sponsors. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful.

Arden Benner 10:54
Harvard Law School. I'm reading about I'm reading about her. So she went to USC for her undergraduate study, and then got a Master's at MIT in the field of applied sciences, balance, blah, blah. Then she was doing acting with education. Then she showed an interest in technology and innovation and social media space and effects on human interaction. And she's involved in research relating to social technology and a strong academic drive. What do you

Scott Benner 11:24
think Northwood does? What's she up to now? So that sounds like a genius. Yeah, she's

Arden Benner 11:31
like, super smart. Apparently, Northwood aims

Scott Benner 11:33
to expedite the build and operation of satellite ground stations, the antennas that connect with satellites to provide data to and from space at Northwood, we're rethinking infrastructure for satellite backhaul from the ground up. Mendler said on LinkedIn, but the girl from Good luck, Charlie, said that it's awesome. Hold on a second.

Arden Benner 11:52
Yeah, exactly. Look. It says she developed a passion while studying at MIT and at Harvard Law School, where she became involved in space policy. Personally, she Oh, and she adopted her son. Of course she did who she's fostered Since 2021 her and her husband, Griffin clever, cleverly, are now parents to a four year old boy.

Scott Benner 12:12
Wonder what her IQ is.

Arden Benner 12:15
Of course she adopted a kid. That's such a genius thing to do. That's why I want to do it.

Scott Benner 12:19
So you look philanthropic, been on my bucket list.

Arden Benner 12:25
I want that law school degree, law school degree, and I want to adopt a baby, just like Bridget Mendler, like Bridget Miller. Apparently, I didn't know that she went to law school. I thought she was a like a medical show. Under

Scott Benner 12:37
the the radar like this, you know what? I mean,

Arden Benner 12:41
I don't know. Well, she's and I mean this in like, a very kind way, she has a normal face. Go ahead. So, like, you know, if you saw Selena Gomez walking on the street, you'd be like, well, first things first, that's Selena Gomez. And she's really, really, really like. She looks like a pop star. That's a famous Bridget Mendler. Yeah, Bridget Mendler just kind of looks like someone I'd walked

Scott Benner 13:07
past. She's a pleasant looking person. Yeah. She's

Arden Benner 13:11
just very normal.

Scott Benner 13:13
Okay, I take your point. And this is something people talk about on the interweb all the time. The kids talk about this. I can't find her IQ, so it must be high, because she's never said it

Arden Benner 13:25
anywhere. If my IQ is high, I I'm scared to get my IQ tested, because

Scott Benner 13:30
what if it's lower than I think? What do you think it is? What do you think it is? Do you even know how that scale works? I don't. No, not really.

Arden Benner 13:40
What is it like? One 120s is like

Scott Benner 13:45
above average. I will find out for you. Okay, one to 24 is profound mental disability, 25 to 39 is severe mental disability. 40 to 54 moderate mental disability, 55 to 69 mild mental disability. 70 to 84 borderline mental disability. 85 to 114 is average intelligence. 115 to 129 is above average or bright. And 130 to 144 is moderately gifted. Goes on from there, man, oh, okay, I feel like I'd be like, 124 slightly above average or bright. Like you'd be above average or bright in that range. That's what you think.

Arden Benner 14:30
Yeah, I don't know if, like, I do think I am gifted, but I don't know if that's what the result would say.

Scott Benner 14:36
145 to 159 highly gifted. 160 to 179 exceptionally gifted, and 180 and up, profoundly gifted.

Arden Benner 14:44
No one has a 180 and up score.

Scott Benner 14:47
Somebody must an average IQ scores between 85 and 115 68% of IQ scores fall within one standard deviation of the mean. That means that the majority of people have an IQ score between 85 and 115 All right, hold on,

Arden Benner 15:01
where do you where do you go to figure this out?

Scott Benner 15:04
You take an IQ test.

Arden Benner 15:08
Yeah, thanks, Dad. Where does that happen? Hold

Scott Benner 15:10
on, I'll tell you in a second. Stephen Hawking, 160 Albert Einstein, they think 160 to 190 Christopher Michael langen,

Arden Benner 15:18
wait, hold on pause. 160 to 190 is an insane jump.

Scott Benner 15:22
Yeah, that's probably a guess, because, like, a looking backwards. Guess. I mean, okay, Christopher, Michael Langdon, 190 to 210 Kim on young, 210 he's from south, South Korea. There

Arden Benner 15:39
ain't no way you just said that right?

Scott Benner 15:41
This probably did not get it right, but I, but I got it pretty close to right. This guy named Christopher hirato, 225, Marilyn vos Savant 228, how did they know to put the word savant in her name before they knew how smart she was? That's amazing. What

Arden Benner 15:58
about that? I think that's like a real thing, like, some people have names and they're just like, born to be a celebrity, or famous. You know,

Scott Benner 16:06
there's a Anan Celeste Collie, a child prodigy hailing from Singapore, gained global recognition for accomplishing the remarkable feat of passing the chemistry o Level exam at the age of seven, setting a world record. Born on November 23 99 to a Singaporean mother and an Irish father, he exhibited signs of exceptional intelligence from an early age. Astounded his family by taking the first steps at six month old, speaking his first words at nine months and he began reading and writing at how old reading and writing? Who

Arden Benner 16:39
to Yes, wait, I'm a genius. Bump me up one more point. You

Scott Benner 16:43
know what you did when you were two? Got diagnosed? Yeah, you killed your pancreas. You should have tried to read that would have probably been a better use of your time. I don't know a lot of these people like, these aren't even names that, like, pop up in like, like, Zeitgeist stuff, yeah, because

Arden Benner 16:57
they have so much money, they're hidden away somewhere. Idiots, wait,

Scott Benner 17:01
let's find out if he's rich. You think he's rich. If

Arden Benner 17:05
you're smart and you're not rich, that's insane, then you're stupid.

Scott Benner 17:11
You can't be smart and not care about money. Yeah, wait. Okay, so

Arden Benner 17:15
I looked up celebrities who have names that already sound famous, and it's just like, like, all this is so true. Like, Marilyn Monroe, that's such a famous name. Marilyn Monroe, you

Scott Benner 17:29
don't think you think of it as famous because you know it, you've heard it so many times.

Arden Benner 17:32
I mean, I'm sure that's true. But like, still, isn't that also

Scott Benner 17:36
why you think Selena Gomez is prettier because you know her face and you relate it to a pretty person? No,

Arden Benner 17:41
I just think that she's pretty. Okay. There's a lot of famous people I don't find attractive. You

Scott Benner 17:47
ever look at somebody who's flat out not famous and think that person's like, famous, good looking? Yeah, okay. Those people just end up being Instagram. It's

Arden Benner 17:57
also obvious they're not famous, because with fame comes a certain type of wealth that makes like everything about you is just too perfect. Like your health is perfect, your skin clears up right away. You know, I

Scott Benner 18:11
think there's no there's also no pressure to prove anything to anybody anymore. So you just have, like a relaxed nature to you. Maybe

Arden Benner 18:17
I was listening to this podcast with these two girls, and they were like, You know what? Like, if I was one of those rich white people who lived on the beach and stepped outside and ate an acai bowl every morning, you know, I don't think I believe in mental health either. And I was like, You're so right. They were like, they were like, what's their reason to believe that? Because, like, you know how like, people are, like, mental health is all fake. You know what? Sometimes that's me, but some people are just like, don't believe that people actually can have depression and anxiety. And they're like, making this joke. I was always like, super wealthy white people who live on the beach, and they were like, That makes so much sense, though, because what do they do? Step outside, feel the ocean breeze hit them in the face. Like, what are they worrying about? Absolutely nothing. Do

Scott Benner 19:00
you think there are people who believe there's no such thing as mental thing as mental health struggle? Yeah, really. They don't believe it exists. Yeah, what do they think it is that's, I don't know. They just probably think that you're thinking it up, making it up, that's it, or, like, not strong enough to just that's keep going. Yeah, I don't see it that way.

Arden Benner 19:22
I mean, there is a certain point or a certain type of a person who I can be like, I

Scott Benner 19:27
don't believe you. So I've talked to a lot of people on the podcast, and I've come to the conclusion that there are some people who are have more, I don't know, stick to itiveness, or an ability to leave problems behind and keep moving, and there are people who get trapped in it, and I don't think they get trapped in it on purpose, although I think there are people who trap themselves for the drama sometimes, right? But I don't think those two people are the same thing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah. Why won't Bridget Mendler tell me her IQ, what a tease. Oh, a second. What

Arden Benner 19:58
if we reach out to her and ask. Like,

Scott Benner 20:00
yeah, should we do that? Wait,

Arden Benner 20:03
I kind of want to see how many connections she has on LinkedIn. I actually just switched my LinkedIn today to it was actually very funny. It was like, What are your what fields are you interested in? And it was like, fashion design, fashion intern, fashion model. And then it was like psychology, law student. And I was like, Well, no one's gonna take me seriously now,

Scott Benner 20:21
if they saw what I had before, Emma Watson went to Brown. Yeah, she's smart. You know, who

Arden Benner 20:26
else is super smart? Natalie Portman. Natalie

Scott Benner 20:29
Portman's on this list. Yeah, I hear that she's very smart. Bridget I am bio about how do you say her name? What Ballack is? It? Maya balik,

Arden Benner 20:42
she's what you're trying to say, the

Scott Benner 20:44
girl from, um, from what is that Sheldon show called, is it called Sheldon? No, oh, she's

Arden Benner 20:50
a neuro. She's, like, a neuroscience, she's

Scott Benner 20:53
a PhD in neuroscience, yeah. And then there's Danica McKellar, but you wouldn't know who she is from the wonders year. She's like, a got, like some sort of mathematics degree. A lot of girls, it says Julia styles and Joseph Gordon Levitt secretly dated, and both attended Columbia University. How would that person know that

Arden Benner 21:11
I found her? She's 100

Scott Benner 21:13
and 167 500 Wow.

Arden Benner 21:17
Lot of people she saw, people I went to high school with. Follow her. Well, this

Scott Benner 21:21
is interesting, because didn't he get in a lot of trouble? I just Googled most educated celebrities. You want to roll through them. You know, she's, oh

Arden Benner 21:30
my God, no way. Bridget Mendler is connected to Robert Downey Jr on LinkedIn.

Scott Benner 21:36
All right, listen, I'm gonna tell you something right now. The internet's bullshit. I googled most educated celebrities, and she didn't pop up. Why is she not here?

Arden Benner 21:45
She's not like that type of celebrity? Well,

Scott Benner 21:49
it's Maya and by Alec Bialik. I can't Jesus Christ, that girl, Rowan Atkinson, which nobody your age knows Meryl Streep went to Yale. What did she go to yell for acting, or

Arden Benner 22:01
Meryl Streep's kids go to a good school, I think, okay.

Scott Benner 22:04
David du Coveney went to Princeton. I don't know who that is. The X Files really. Ben Stein, there's no way you know that the kid from Modern Family.

Arden Benner 22:19
Oh, what the is it? The brother Nolan gold. They're the one that they made stupid in the show. He's like, super smart. Apparently, he's in like, Mensa, or something, an IQ of 150 it says, yeah, he's

Scott Benner 22:31
in Mensa. I'm pretty sure Brian May from Queen, because he just went to a school that was considered good. Gerard Butler, those movies are terrible. He can't have a good experience. Oh. James Franco, he went to Columbia. Contour. O'Brien went to Harvard. Emma Watson, brown, Hugh Jackman is listed, but it's an Australian school, so I don't really know the name of it. One of the Sprouse kids went to NYU. Lisa Kudrow went to Vassar.

Arden Benner 23:00
Yeah, I know about Lisa, her kids also. I think might go there.

Scott Benner 23:04
Mindy Kaling, Dartmouth, Lapita noongo, Yale, Jodie Foster. Yale, okay, that Ken John guy went to Duke and then Natalie, Portman, Harvard, but yeah, Bridget Mendler doesn't make the shake here. Well, she's not as famous as those people. That's probably smart, don't you think? Yeah, like, I

Arden Benner 23:25
feel like she's kind of a genius. She built up enough fame where some people know her name, some people don't, but like, I feel like a good amount of people, if you look them, look her up online, and be like, Oh, I think I know who that is, even if you're not sure what her name is, she's got that type of fame, right? She's smart, she went to school, she started a family. I feel like she's doing everything perfectly. She's at the type of fame where people might recognize her but not everyone will, so she can walk, you know, like make it through the day. Here's

Scott Benner 23:52
an article that says, Bridget Mendler deserves more recognition. Well, she does. You're not alone. She probably doesn't want it. Do you think this freaks out? Britney Spears, I don't like it. Is she alive? Yeah, she dances with knives on Instagram or something. I see her do that a lot, like a lot, with kitchen knives. I'm not kidding. You feel like I'm joking. Have you never seen this? All right, hold on one second. Now, she

Arden Benner 24:18
got a couple, I think a couple months ago, she got married for like, three days or something.

Scott Benner 24:23
I think she might be unwell, which is sad she is, but like, I

Arden Benner 24:26
love that she got married for three days. I'm gonna start I'm gonna do that. You're gonna get married for three days. I'm

Scott Benner 24:32
not sending a gift. I'm not sending a gift if you do that.

Arden Benner 24:35
Did you see the woman who got married to herself and, like, less than a year later filed from divorce from reasonable she married

Scott Benner 24:43
her. Can you marry Hold on a second. That's a different road we're

Arden Benner 24:46
gonna get you. Can marry yourself? I'm

Scott Benner 24:48
gonna send you Britney Spears dancing video, because I do think you should say it, and then I'm not gonna watch it, but I'm gonna ask the question, can you marry yourself? Do. Self marriages are not recognized by any states. In the United States currently us will only recognize marriages between two people. That means if you're already married to another person, you can still self marry without implicating anti bigamy or polygamy laws. It's actually from like a legal website, does self marriage exist?

Arden Benner 25:17
Because I always think about how on Glee Sue Sylvester gets married to herself. Well,

Scott Benner 25:23
in a nutshell, solo Gami is the act of marrying yourself. It is not legally recognized, but you can have a cultural ceremony during which you make vows of commitment to love you.

Arden Benner 25:35
So I don't, I don't know if she lives in America, so it might be like a thing somewhere else, but she did, in fact, divorce herself less than a year since later.

Scott Benner 25:43
I wonder what she learned that she didn't know before she got married. I wonder what she did wrong. That's insane. Influencer Suellen Carrie divorces herself one year later. Is this what you're talking about? It might, it might be that I feel like she's just looking for clicks which she's gonna get from me. Right now when I click on this, hold on again, she appears to have had an amount of plastic surgery that seems a little unnatural as well. One second, you can barely see her Invisalign. Those are awesome. I should get those. One year ago, Brazilian influencer Suellen Carrie made the decision to marry herself, as people do, I bet you, there's no way she's connected to Bridget Mendler on LinkedIn. You

Arden Benner 26:30
don't think so, or if they're cousins, I don't think so.

Scott Benner 26:32
I really don't think they know each other. Like, what's this? This Bridget Mendler thing was, like, it's so overwhelming. When you brought it up, you were so excited about it, but you just think it's kind of cool that she did all this.

Arden Benner 26:43
Yeah, well, because, because you have to think about it like this, everyone else who was in her position is like, not, okay. Now, okay,

Scott Benner 26:51
I see what you're saying. Like, Demi, Lovato, oh, my God.

Arden Benner 26:55
What is going on? Like, is she what? Like, what is happening? Actually, I saw a video of her recently on like, Jimmy Kimmel or something. She looks like she's doing well, good for her. That's good. But she's been in, she's been in rehab, like, four times. It's all the Disney Kids. Selena Gomez, honestly, Selena Gomez is fine, but she did have lupus, so that went terribly for her,

Scott Benner 27:14
um, but that's not like, a personal like, thing, like, uh, yeah,

Arden Benner 27:18
but, but they all have, like, like, a life threatening thing going on.

Scott Benner 27:23
You think they all just have, like, bad things, but follow them. What

Arden Benner 27:26
about? What about Amanda Bynes? Have you seen her? Yeah, she seems like she might be. She's not okay, trouble, yeah. And there's, like, the downfall of Disney people.

Scott Benner 27:37
I saw a lot of plastic surgery. I thought for Amanda Bynes recently. Oh, you've seen

Arden Benner 27:43
her recently, if that's how and every famous Disney Channel guy is, was like, in jail for molesting someone.

Scott Benner 27:50
Well, not everyone, let's say, but there was that big, like, turmoil around that, right? Bella Thorne had trouble. I know that she, I

Arden Benner 28:00
think that she's like, good. Now, that's

Scott Benner 28:03
good. You mentioned Demi Lovato, who I've heard in some interviews seem very Yeah, that's a shame. Yeah, yeah. I've heard Demi Lovato be confused in interviews before.

Arden Benner 28:16
Demi Lovato was just on a show like last week, and she looks better now, good.

Scott Benner 28:21
What about Hillary Duff? How'd she hold up? Oh,

Arden Benner 28:24
Hillary Duff, I think that she went downhill for a minute, but I think that she made her way back up. I think that she has a family now, I'm pretty sure, but I do, I do know that years ago, she was on vacation or something, and a video of her doing an inappropriate act with her husband, got put online. That's a shame, like someone like filmed her through a window or something. That's horrible. People should not do that

Scott Benner 28:48
to other people. Yeah, so that was crazy. She's 36 very tough. Yeah, that's crazy. How fast that like life goes by. Aaron was Aaron Carter on the Disney Channel. He passed right? Yeah, he passed away like, two years ago. But I, I'm wondering if he was a Disney Channel person. Okay, oh, he's just in a bunch of like, like, weird little movies. So what do you think happens when you is this a chicken or egg situation, like, when you so I think what you're seeing, it's not Disney, right? Like you make people famous when they're too young,

Arden Benner 29:25
and then what that? And I also, I also think there's a certain type of media training and, like, rules you have to follow as the Disney Channel kid, because even those kids who were on Disney like now they'll like, be doing interviews, and they'll like, kind of stop themselves when from talking. And I've actually heard them joke and be like, sorry, it's the Disney training. So they're like, so restricted from when they speak and stuff that they don't know what to say. But you know who didn't make it out? Strong? Zendaya,

Scott Benner 29:56
she was a Disney Channel kid. Yeah, she

Arden Benner 29:59
was on shake it out.

Scott Benner 30:00
Up and she's doing it. Yeah, she's good. So there's something called no um

Arden Benner 30:07
Sabrina Carpenter, I don't know that name. She was on Girl Meets World, but she's like, a huge pop star now. So they either like, literally, like, make it, or like, you never hear from them again. All

Scott Benner 30:21
right, so listen, it's called child actor syndrome. They can have identity issues growing up in the public eye, which can make it difficult to develop a strong personal identity outside of their roles. They may struggle with a sense of self once they are no longer in the spotlight. I have thoughts about that. I'm going to come back to that emotional pressure. Acting can be emotionally demanding, lack of a normal childhood. Child actors often miss out on normal developmental experiences like schooling, friendships and family dynamics, substance abuse, financial mismanagement, difficulties, maintaining the success transition from childhood to act. Adult acting roles can be challenging. Former child actors may find it hard to be taken seriously as adult performers and secure roles. Macaulay Culkin, like that kid is as famous as a person could be, right? That guy, he clearly struggled afterwards. Lindsay Lohan struggled.

Arden Benner 31:10
Miley Cyrus.

Scott Benner 31:12
Miley Cyrus clearly struggled for a long time. I think about this all the time around sports stars like what's it like to be like a gladiator, you know what I mean, on that level, and then have somebody layer money over top of you, people's respect that comes, whether you deserve it or not, you can break a law. Somebody's going to get you out of it. You have all that stuff that comes, and then one day you twist your ankle and it's all over. Like, what did they do next? Like, what does a person Did you ever watch a baseball player talk? And you think, God, they've been standing on a piece of grass for so long, they have no other skills. Well,

Arden Benner 31:49
I feel that way. Sometimes when I would watch, like the Kardashians, they don't understand, like, normal everyday life. Like there's an episode where Kris Jenner, the mom and Kylie Jenner, like, go grocery shopping for themselves, and they're lost, and they're like, oh, like, they like, grab a car. And they're like, This is so fun. And people are like, are you serious? And there's a What's the other episode? There's this episode where it happens, but it's just like, it's so crazy. Or what about when Michelle, Michelle Obama, when the Obamas, like, their presidency ended, or something like that, Ellen took Michelle Obama to like, CVS or target or something, and she couldn't figure out how to use her credit

Scott Benner 32:35
card, yeah, because she just hadn't done it. Michelle Obama, yeah, in so long, she probably a

Arden Benner 32:39
very smart woman, yeah, couldn't use her credit card. They, I don't

Scott Benner 32:43
think they carry money or anything on them at some point, like, everything's kind of being taken care of. But you see a lot of, like, mental health struggles after, like, sporting careers that they'll find financial difficulties, of course, because, like, money's coming in so quickly while you're playing that you just think, like, this is never going to end, and then you spend on that level, and then it ends so abruptly. I mean, the average, like the at, what is the is the average span of a, let's say, pro football career, because I think that's the other thing is you spend so much of your life, right? Like as a kid in high school, I guess. I guess you want to guess within average football careers

Arden Benner 33:24
one second. I'm gonna do like a, like a, I think it's between eight and 13 years.

Scott Benner 33:28
I'm gonna bet you it's less than three. The average career span of a professional football player in the NFL is three to four years. What injury risk, high competition. It also depends on your position, running backs. Usually running backs make you know what a running back is. You do, right? I said, Okay, two and a half years wide receivers and linebackers, 2.9 to four years, quarterbacks, kickers and punters, four to six years.

Arden Benner 33:54
Yeah, because less they're not going to get injured as frequently. Yeah,

Scott Benner 33:59
many players never make it to a full NFL career, about 30% of players drafted in the NFL never play a single regular season game.

Arden Benner 34:06
Running backs and linebackers are probably bigger, right?

Scott Benner 34:11
They get hit harder, so they either hit somebody hard, or they get hit harder actually, as in shape, maybe oddly enough, the running backs normally get hit by the linebackers. Awesome. 30% of drafted players never play a regular season game, and only a small, small percentage play past their rookie contract, which is usually three to four years. Yeah, so that's like, what I'm talking about. Like you're a god in some people's eyes. It's so funny, too. Like you ever see what happens? You know, you don't have no idea who Lenny Dykstra is, right? Lenny played baseball for the Mets, then later for the Phillies, and today, I think he is in significant amount of trouble, both legally and in his own personal health and welfare. But while he was playing, he was out of his mind, like he was so good, and the stories kind of drip out a little bit the. They think there's people, there's stories that maybe like that Mets team was a little coked up while they were playing stuff like that. But I don't know that that could happen anymore. But maybe it could. I don't know. I just I feel badly for somebody who's been playing a game since they were four, and then one day they make it to the pinnacle of the whole thing, actually find a way to keep it going for a while, and then it just abruptly stops. But you're still in your 30s, and it must feel like everything you know, just disappears. But Bridget Mendler, my point is transition through that like it was nothing.

Arden Benner 35:34
Yeah, or you know who I think is pretty like impressive from like the child actor to like person point in their life. You know Jenna Ortega.

Scott Benner 35:46
Is she the girl? You know what? It's funny. She's super famous, and had been a ton of things, and I haven't found a way to not see one of the things she's in. She's the girl from the Addams Family remake, right on Netflix. What do they call that? Wednesday? Wednesday, and then she's in, she's in Beetlejuice Now, the second Beetlejuice. Okay,

Arden Benner 36:07
yeah, so she was a famous child actor too, but I think that I was listening to her do an interview, she said that her and her mom made a deal when she was younger, that, you know, she had to stay in school and get tutored and do all these things in order to go and be a part of, like, acting and all that. So they had this deal that she would, she would finish something, and then her mom would drive her, like, an hour and a half to, like, you know, a TV show she was on, and then she'd come back, and then she'd go to school, and she was like, and I wasn't allowed to act if I wasn't, you know, doing well in school. So, but a lot of the, I think a lot of the parents would pull their kids out of, like a normal school and get them like, you know, their own little personal teacher on set. And then, because I think there was, like, this one thing where the kids had a teacher teach them on the set of their show, and they didn't actually go to schools.

Scott Benner 37:04
I've heard, you have you heard, um, who talks about that sometimes? Jason Bateman, oh, did she have Yeah, like, how it's kind of, by the way, Bridget mendler's parents still together. Maybe a lot of this is parenting. You think? I think so,

Arden Benner 37:18
probably because I'm thinking about it like Jen Ortega's mom forced to do that stuff. Bridget Benner as parents like that, zendayas parents aren't together, but I know that they're like, a really big part of her life. And like,

Scott Benner 37:31
yeah, maybe that could be it. When I was younger, the first person that I remember really seeing be run over by this stuff was the girl from et Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore, right, and the boy from different strokes. Oh, my God,

Arden Benner 37:46
I can't Drew Barrymore. Does not speak to her parents.

Scott Benner 37:50
Listen, I've heard Drew Barrymore. His mom be interviewed. And there, I'm not a doctor, but, uh, there's something wrong with her.

Arden Benner 37:58
Well, she, I was just listening to an interview with her when she was saying that her mom's best friend used to give her weed and get her high when she was like, eight years old.

Scott Benner 38:10
Man, that's a confusing decision. Yeah, actually, all of the kids from this TV show that was super popular when I was young called different strokes, right? I think all of these people have had problems. Gary Coleman, Dana Plato, Todd bridges, I think Dana Plato has passed away. She died 99 there are people who don't know who I'm talking about right now, but these people were Ultra famous in the 70s and early 80s, and it messed them up. She's dead, is Todd bridges. Todd bridges is alive, good for him, but he struggled for a while and bounced back. And then I forget how Gary Coleman passed away.

Arden Benner 38:49
There were just, like, a certain type of people who are so famous at one point, and then, like, what happens? Like, I think about like, like, Gilmore Girls. Like, I think about them, what's her name? Lauren Graham. Not that she's not famous anymore, but she's not like Lauren Graham. You know what I'm saying. She's like a woman who was in parenthood and used to be Lorelei Gilmore.

Scott Benner 39:12
But where is she now? I don't know. Was she ever on the West Wing? I don't know. Maybe you don't know because you won't watch it.

Arden Benner 39:20
I I'm like, three seasons in debt. I have a lot going on, okay, but wait, who has to go fail a quiz tomorrow?

Scott Benner 39:29
Wait, she what? Who am I thinking of? It wasn't her, No, it wasn't her. It was, I don't know what I'm thinking of. Who is the girl on the West Wing who I'm confusing with? Lauren Graham. This is so upsetting. Oh, are

Arden Benner 39:43
you thinking of Morgan Kelly?

Scott Benner 39:45
No, I'm gonna figure this out, because it's upsetting me, and I'm gonna feel stupid when I get to it. Mary Louise Parker, I don't know who that is. Really super interesting in my mind. And until five seconds ago, Mary Louise Parker and Lauren Graham were the same person. I

Arden Benner 40:04
always thought Lauren Graham would play mom in, like, a reboot of our life, or something, reboot of our life, remake, I don't know. Yeah, have you ever thought about what actor would play you in the in a role, if it was like about our family? Like, who would you cast for our family?

Scott Benner 40:18
I don't think I have enough. I don't think I see myself in a way that I could make that distinction. I also like

Arden Benner 40:25
they need to look they need to look like you a little and be able to play your part.

Unknown Speaker 40:28
You think it would be Vince Vaughn, don't you? I

Scott Benner 40:31
mean, he's so tall, though.

Arden Benner 40:32
What about John Favreau?

Scott Benner 40:34
He could probably do it. He's probably also way too tall for me. But Vince Vaughn is like six, seven or something, six four,

Arden Benner 40:41
he's not six seven. What do you mean? It's probably like six four. He's six four. All right,

Scott Benner 40:46
calm down. I'm gonna look he's six five. That's pretty tall. You don't think that's tall?

Arden Benner 40:53
No, it is. I'm saying he's not six seven. Okay, well,

Scott Benner 40:57
who would play you? I don't know. I have no idea you should go with Bridget Mendler. I don't think she's successful.

Arden Benner 41:04
I don't think that she I don't think that our personalities are I don't think that would work. I also don't think we look alike. It's

Scott Benner 41:10
a really difficult thing to answer, like, who would play you? You don't know. You can tell other people.

Arden Benner 41:14
That's why I That's why I was, yeah, that's why I was helping you. That's why I said I think mom would be like Lauren Graham,

Scott Benner 41:19
what about Cole? What would be like?

Arden Benner 41:23
Well, Cole always says that when people say he looks like someone, it's that guy from Game of Thrones.

Scott Benner 41:27
I'm talking about, no.

Arden Benner 41:31
I mean, he needs someone to play him who can be kind of like a little asshole, like, uh, Jacob a Lordy, but Jacob alert. He's way too tall to play Cole. Not that cold short. He's just not like six four

Scott Benner 41:44
who on Game of Thrones, looks like Cole.

Arden Benner 41:47
Well, I don't think he looks like Cole, but he's been told this many times, um, we find him. I'm

Scott Benner 41:52
sorry. I'm laughing at Mom's text. What I want a Five Guys burger she just sent me and like, I'm laughing because I realized that months from now, she'll hear this on the podcast, because she's listening to your episodes. Hit Harrington. Hit Harrington. This guy, Casey, oh yeah, I guess he does look like Cole. I'm sure Cole is him,

Arden Benner 42:14
if Cole was God,

Scott Benner 42:17
you think this boy's handsome, like he's more attractive than Cole, really. Okay, well, I'm sure Cole will hear this one day and be very, very, very hurt by that

Arden Benner 42:25
it Harrington. Cole's significantly

Scott Benner 42:27
taller than him. Cole's got, oh yeah,

Arden Benner 42:30
he's really short. He's

Scott Benner 42:31
Cole's got four inches on him. Let's finish up this episode by talking about why most actors are shorter than you think they are or

Arden Benner 42:41
Well, yeah, that's true. The women especially. How tall is Tom Cruise women are smaller. Tom Cruise is like five six, right? Five Seven.

Scott Benner 42:50
Zac Efron, 58580 look at you. Hold on a second. Here's one that flips me out every time I think about it. How tall is Brad Pitt, five seven, he's 511 oh, what? And Clooney says he is too, but I've seen them next to each other, and I do think Brad Pitt's taller than George Clooney a tiny bit, maybe, but you have a Brad Pitt like, in my

Arden Benner 43:15
mind, just Clooney gives off, like, six foot energy.

Scott Benner 43:18
Six foot energy. What does that mean? Just seems like he'd be taller. Okay, how old is George Clooney?

Arden Benner 43:25
Oh, you that? Okay, wait, what if Cole was played by Nicholas Holt? You

Scott Benner 43:30
know who that is? Nicholas Holt,

Arden Benner 43:33
the guy from X Men,

Scott Benner 43:34
the the beast. Yeah, I don't see that as being like, looking like Cole. What I think this guy's

Arden Benner 43:41
got that she's got that weird energy that Cole has. I don't think

Scott Benner 43:45
Cole has weird energy. And I don't know this guy well enough to think that through. You're so wrong. Dad. I believe he'll appear in the last movie ever made by Yeah, Clint Eastwood's last movie. I think Nicholas holds in it. You have any idea who Clint Eastwood is? Yeah, when you think of him, what do you think of cowboys? Interesting? I think of a guy in a car with an orangutan. It's really specific. It is very specific. That's when I it's orangutan, right? Not orangutan, it's orangutan. I don't

Arden Benner 44:21
know, but I'm feeling left out because no one's told me what actress would play me. So there's that. Well, I ch and you know, you only said Bridget Benner because it was the only woman you could think

Scott Benner 44:29
of. Don't even don't play this game. I can't think of any actor that would I can't think of any actor, if I'm being honest, Did you just hear me confused? Two women who are not the same person? No, I

Arden Benner 44:40
wasn't listening. I can't lie.

Scott Benner 44:42
I've also gotten to the age where, like, when the Emmys Come on, or like the I like, I don't know who any of these people are. You're always like, you know this person? I'm like, I have no idea who that is. Or when you like, you guys will play me a song, and I'm like, I don't know that song. And you're like, No, you do. And I'm like, I do not know this song. I'm at that age now you seem like you're out. Things to say, are we done? I

Arden Benner 45:00
was just thinking about how short Lady Gaga is.

Scott Benner 45:04
How short is lady can I guess she?

Arden Benner 45:07
I think she's like five one,

Scott Benner 45:09
I'm going five two, just because I don't know she's five one, that's pretty short. She.

Arden Benner 45:16
If you told me Lady Gaga was six feet tall, I would believe you. She just seems like someone who's six feet tall.

Scott Benner 45:23
Yeah, she's obviously not.

Arden Benner 45:27
There was a video of her at a concert recently, and she's like, goes to like, where everyone's like, waiting to get into the show, or whatever. She starts throwing back the popcorn. She's like, enjoy the fucking show.

Scott Benner 45:41
She's great. Brad Cooper, six one,

Arden Benner 45:44
Bradley Cooper is, you know what? Like, he's one of those people that deserves his fame. He's good looking in a little bit of an unattractive way. He's tall. He's got the, what's the word, I don't know. Like, he could hit on a girl. It wouldn't be weird, you know what? I mean. Okay, he doesn't seem like

Scott Benner 46:01
an idiot. He grew up like, I would say, five to 10 minutes from where I

Arden Benner 46:06
grew up. He's in Silver Linings Playbook, which is great movie. So, so it's all okay. So it's all fine. He was married, if I had to, if I had to marry a man that was way too old for me. It probably be Bradley Cooper. He's

Scott Benner 46:18
49 exit. That's what I just said. He was married for a year. Interesting to what like a model, a woman named Jennifer Esposito. That sounds like a model who's 51 now. They were married in 2007 for a year. Click on her shoe model, American actress, film writer and director, known for her roles in Summer of Sam LA, law and order, that dropped off pretty quick. Let me say she's currently on blue buds, which is a TV show that's very popular. It's been on for like, 15 years. She's in the boys for six episodes a boys. Susan Rainer, I don't know if this is a podcast, but I'm having fun talking to what nothing. Wait, I see Susan ran and you know who that is. Wait, she looks she looks really familiar. Ew, dad. She's this woman, and this happens to her. Oh yeah, outside of where they meet at that um,

Arden Benner 47:19
yeah, I actually, I think she was trying to help them or something.

Scott Benner 47:22
Yeah. How about that? Look at how good you are. Not like no spoiler for you. You didn't do any spoilers. Yeah,

Arden Benner 47:28
cuz it's a good show, people should go watch it. The boys, I'm not pretty decent person. I wouldn't do that.

Scott Benner 47:34
We'd never do that. Do you think, uh, Bridget Benner hears this and reaches out to us? Or is she insulted by the whole thing.

Arden Benner 47:41
Why would she be insulted? I

Scott Benner 47:42
thought we were, well, you called her average, looking at some point, you said she's the person you'd why that? I'd I

Arden Benner 47:49
Okay, listen, what I mean is, when you walk past a movie star, they're kind of like, there's a fluorescent light shimmering around them, and you're like, oh my god, that person is really famous, Bridget Mendler could definitely put on a pair of mom jeans and a baseball cap and sunglasses, and I could walk past her, and I would not know Bridget Mendler is walking past me just like, okay, you know if Rihanna, if Rihanna tried to put on that same outfit, I'd be like, I think

Scott Benner 48:18
just walk past me. You'd be like, Brianna and mom jeans. What's going on? Yeah,

Arden Benner 48:22
okay. Like, why? Why is Beyonce wearing sneakers? Like, you know what I mean? Like, something like that.

Scott Benner 48:27
I think we have to split this podcast off of the regular podcast so we can talk about the whole P Diddy thing, because that's not good for this show, but it would be fun to pick through. I think I don't know what you're saying right now.

Arden Benner 48:38
This seems like a you thing.

Scott Benner 48:39
You don't understand what's happening with Sean Puffy homes?

Arden Benner 48:43
No, no. I'm saying I heard what he did. DM saying, I don't know what you mean by spoiling the sauce. I

Scott Benner 48:48
don't imagine it like people who are listening to the Juicebox podcast would like be interested in that, and how are we gonna get listeners done? I don't know. Think people are listening. Should I look to see if people are listening? We've had two episodes up. You want to do that? Then we can stop.

Arden Benner 49:04
Are there any reviews? Oh, that would be a great episode. Is like reading bad reviews?

Scott Benner 49:08
I've gotten a couple of nice emails from people. One lady said she was out for a run, and she had to stop because she was laughing so hard.

Arden Benner 49:16
And I wonder, I wonder what I wonder if she was laughing at something you said, or something

Scott Benner 49:20
I said. Good question,

Arden Benner 49:22
and we know the answer. We don't have to say it out loud. And somebody

Scott Benner 49:25
told me last night, if you want to hear how did they put it? Like if you want to hear of a daughter and father take the piss out of each other for an hour, you're gonna love this. So anyway, we've amassed about 10,000 downloads so far. We're not doing bad. I'm gonna need more than that. Everyone something get going. Should they be sharing this with other people?

Arden Benner 49:49
I'm trying to go to school for the third time over here. What do you mean for this

Scott Benner 49:54
third What are you gonna think of it going again? Well, yeah,

Arden Benner 49:57
ball school is technically another I'd have to apply to another school. Cool, that's

Scott Benner 50:00
a good point. Yeah, we've been Can you guys share this? And then we'll split it off into its own podcast so Arden can make some money and pay for her own school, right?

Arden Benner 50:08
Yeah, please, yeah. Actually have to, like, look into what schools to apply to. Oh, and I was thinking about it. What if I get into like, a, like, a law school, then is it even worth it? Who's gonna want me? Probably P Diddy. No one's gonna defend him.

Scott Benner 50:20
His PR, his PR, agent just disappeared off the face of the earth.

Arden Benner 50:23
I actually saw a meme that was like, when you're like a law when you just graduated law school and your first client is P Diddy, because who's gonna, like, take him as a client? I

Scott Benner 50:34
think if you just want to make social media money, we should just get a chiropractor to crack you and just video it over and over again. You make an audience. Yeah? You make a lot of noise, though. You think too creepy. Yeah, I'm trying. I

Arden Benner 50:48
am gonna try to find something that brings some money in,

Scott Benner 50:50
but I don't know what it is. Figure it out yet. Okay, well, let me know, if you know, if I don't know, I probably won't be anything. Honestly, you don't think you're gonna come up with anything Fair enough. Did

Arden Benner 51:00
you know that there's like, a like, I could, like, watch television and review it and make money? I'm pretty sure.

Scott Benner 51:06
Yeah, just sit and watch something and put your audio amazing at that. You're amazing at watching. Do you think everybody thinks they're amazing at that? No, not the way I am. Okay, I don't think people would admit it the way I am. What do you bring to the table? I

Arden Benner 51:21
don't I think this is, this is an interview right now. I would not get the job, but I am telling you that I would be good at

Scott Benner 51:27
it. All right, you're just not ready to make the pitch yet. No, I have, I don't have an elevator pitch for this. I cold called a research doctor today his office and tried to get him on the podcast. Research for what I don't want to say right now, but I did it. I call. I called flat called, made my bitch. Wait, sign it to me. How am I going to sign it to you? You're not going to know who it is once you hear it. Put it in the chat, in the chat, well, it's still not going to help you, and you're not going to think it's a big deal. What?

Arden Benner 51:58
What field of medicine? Don't

Scott Benner 52:02
tell me his name. I don't know what that means. What's your little icon on this? Oh, oh, San tells you argument there. I cared. I thought it was really cool. All right, we're gonna go. Do you want to say goodbye to the people I hate when you

Arden Benner 52:17
asked me that? Because the obvious answer is, I really don't,

Scott Benner 52:20
you can't just say goodbye. What would happen if you say goodbye? No,

Arden Benner 52:24
I don't. I don't like that, because we're not actually talking to anyone.

Scott Benner 52:27
I know, but they're listening, having a completely different I know, but I don't. I feel uncomfortable with that. Okay, then let's not we'll just stop recording. Yeah, cuz they're gonna hear us the next time. Fair enough. You

the conversation you just heard was sponsored by touched by type one. Check them out please. At touched by type one.org, on Instagram and Facebook, you're gonna love them. I love them. They're helping so many people. At touched by type one.org A huge thanks to Dexcom for supporting the podcast and for sponsoring this episode. Dexcom.com/juicebox, go get yourself a Dexcom g7 right now, using my link if you're living with type one diabetes, the after dark collection from the Juicebox podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark there, you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. I was looking for a way that we could all get nice and tan and meet each other and spend some time talking about diabetes. How are we going to do that on a juice cruise, juice cruise 2025 departs Galveston, Texas on Monday, June 23 2025 it's a five night trip through the Western Caribbean, visiting, of course, Galveston, Costa, Maya and cosmel, I'm going to be there. Erica is going to be there, and we're working on some other special guests. Now. Why do we need to be there? Because during the days at sea, we're going to be holding conferences, you can get involved in these talks around type one diabetes, and they're going to be Q and A's plenty of time for everyone to get to talk, ask their questions and get their questions answered. So if you're looking for a nice adult or family vacation, you want to meet your favorite podcast host, but you can't figure out where Jason Bateman lives, so you'll settle for me. If you want to talk about diabetes, or you know what, maybe you want to meet some people living with type one, or just get a tan with a bunch of cool people. You can do that on juice cruise 2025, space is limited. Head now to Juicebox podcast.com and click on that banner, you can find out all about the different cabins that are available to you. And register today. Links, the show notes. Links at Juicebox podcast.com I hope. See you on board. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcast and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes. I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better, and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording, doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it? You Want rob You?

#1371 After Dark: More Cate

Cate has an anti-social personality disorder that significantly impacts her ability to empathize, form meaningful relationships, and consider the consequences of her actions.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Welcome back, friends, to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'm going to be speaking with Kate. She's a returning guest. She was initially in Episode 716 called after dark Kate. Kate is here today to talk about her anti social personality disorder, and I want you to be aware that there's going to be some discussion about abortion. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin, don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. AG, one.com/juice, box. Don't forget, if you're a US resident who has type one, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, visit T 1d exchange.org/juice box right now and complete that survey. It will take you 10 minutes to complete the survey, and that effort alone will help to move type one diabetes research forward. It will cost you nothing to help. Today's podcast is sponsored by us med. US med.com/juicebox you can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do. And I'm talking about Dexcom, libre, Omnipod, tandem and so much more us. Med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, G VO, hypo pen. Find out more at G VO, glucagon.com. Forward slash juice box.

Cate 2:05
So I am Kate. I still don't know how long I've been a diabetic for. I am from Canada, but in regards to what we're going to be talking about, it's we're going to be talking about it from the UK, because I was living in the UK at the time.

Scott Benner 2:22
Okay, UK. So Kate, you've done a thing. I'm going to be embarrassed here. I'm just going to go out. Just let me be embarrassed. Okay, of course, you have said once before we were recording, and now when we are recording, I still don't remember how long I've had type one diabetes, which before. Don't worry, you don't remember, which says to me, yeah, you and I have done this already. Yes, and your name, your name, is incredibly familiar to me. But, you know, a couple 1000 of these conversations, and everything gets blurred together a little bit, of course. So tell me, do you know what episode you were on the first time?

Cate 2:58
I have no idea the number. It was going to be an after dark episode. I'm not good with numbers. My memory is shite. So it's, I'm not, I have no idea you

Scott Benner 3:09
remember what the title was, Kate,

Cate 3:13
genuinely. It was actually just called that. It was like episode, whatever number, and then Kate, and that was it.

Scott Benner 3:19
How embarrassing for me. Hold on a second. Oh, 716 There you go, Kate, let me tell you. What else I know if I called your after dark. Kate, then I listened to it and thought there's no proper way to describe what happened here.

Cate 3:39
It was like a smorgasbord of, like a conversation, like, I think we talked about, we talked about, like, a whole bunch of stuff, yeah, like we talked mostly it was just about, like growing up and being into like drugs and and sex and being through like therapy and like surbicide attempts and all of that jazz.

Scott Benner 4:05
Cate has type one diabetes, and this conversation includes everything you've come to expect from an after dark episode. That's what it that's what it says. So anyway, okay, great. I feel like you're here for like, a targeted reason. So what made you reach back out?

Cate 4:21
So this one, it's generally, I know you're, you're always looking for kind of taboo subjects that I don't really ever find taboo. I think, am I

Scott Benner 4:34
always looking for them, or is that just the only ways i Well,

Cate 4:36
no, I feel like that's probably the only things that I pay attention to. Like, Oh, taboo. Hey, I can fit that mold. I was

Scott Benner 4:43
gonna say, because I have a I have a lovely four part series on resilience with a therapist and and, of course, just scads and scads of diabetes management, content and everything. I feel like, perhaps the only stories you have are these

Cate 4:56
are taboo. Absolutely, they're all. May be interesting ones. I feel like everything else is boring. Can be interesting, not boring. It can be interesting, but yeah, I just find, I find that the more that we talk about taboo, the less taboo they become. Of course, because I find life like, what's taboo to me may not be taboo to you, if that makes sense. And so I think it's this like social construct that we've put on and so I like to talk about them a to make people feel uncomfortable. Because I think you really start to kind of know somebody when they're uncomfortable, and that gives me great pleasure. It kind of defeats that, that whole you know, thing of beating down the taboo construct. I don't, I don't like it. I think it's silly.

Scott Benner 5:45
I would have already sung the shot a song, except I believe you're gonna say something very serious next. So I didn't. I didn't want to be like, sweet is taboo. And then you're all like, Have you guys ever eaten human meat, like, I wasn't sure where you're gonna go, so, yeah, yeah, no,

Unknown Speaker 6:05
I don't, yeah, I suppose I could be taboo.

Scott Benner 6:08
I mean, I would hope so, yeah. Hey, let me say this, if you're out there right now and you think eating human meat is not taboo, walk yourself into a police station. Just sleep and turn yourself over to the authorities, please, like, that's from for me to all of you again, if you've eaten human meat, please go directly to the police station and turn yourself in.

Unknown Speaker 6:28
Yeah, please. And thank you. Oh

Scott Benner 6:30
my god. And I have to say this too, if anyone out there has eaten human meat, and you're a great fan of the podcast, and you're really downloading everything, not you, okay, but yeah, but everyone, and also, let me go a little farther, don't eat someone who's also a fan of the podcast, because, you know, I need the downloads and everything. Yeah, okay, yeah.

Cate 6:50
And spread the word, you know, to all of your cannibal friends, if they're going to download and listen like that would be great. See,

Scott Benner 6:56
Kate makes a great point here. If you're to a cannibal party of some sort, I would appreciate if you'd maybe like, whip out your podcast players, show people how to subscribe. My God, all right. Well, this took an odd turn. I

Unknown Speaker 7:09
already lose listeners.

Scott Benner 7:13
So when I thought of the most taboo thing I could think of that was it, that's what came in mind. Yeah, that should tell you something. Well, it should tell you something that most of the things other people think are taboo, my brain just skip right over those things. Like, absolutely no. I was like, that's fine. No

Speaker 1 7:28
one's worried about that. Amazing. Yeah, all right, so what show on that subject?

Scott Benner 7:33
On a serious note, watch this take a left turn from hell. What? What are you on?

Cate 7:38
We're going so we're going to talk about abortion. Oh, Christ. Really, I know, I know, which is, like, in a lot of people's minds, is kind of up there with cannibalism. So, I mean, you know, almost like for like, but probably not quite,

Scott Benner 7:53
Oh, Jesus. Like, I really got to start reading the notes before I start. There's no

Unknown Speaker 7:58
fun in that. Scott, come on. Oh, my God, okay,

Scott Benner 8:02
I honestly had no idea that's what we were doing.

Unknown Speaker 8:04
I just that's fine.

Scott Benner 8:05
Okay, all right. Well, here we go.

Speaker 1 8:07
Here we go. I don't and to be fair, I was thinking about it

Cate 8:15
yesterday, maybe, probably because I forget things, and I had about 5 million reminders that I was doing this today, but I came to the realization that I don't think I've ever really spoke about it from like, start to finish either. Like, I was like, I obviously, I've been like, hey, partner. Like, who's my husband? Now? Like, I've obviously talked about it with him, and I've talked about it with my mom and my best friend, but it wasn't from like start to finish, if that makes sense, yeah. So this is gonna be really weird. This is gonna be strange for me. Yeah, let's

Scott Benner 8:47
do it. Okay, you're up for this. Listen, hold on real quick. I'm putting my feet up. I'm putting my feet up and let me change the mic configuration here. Guys are gonna hear a lot of noise. My desk is rattling around. All right, I need to, all right, I'm settled. This is okay. I can do this. I've done listen. I would like to be serious, obviously, and it sounds like we're gonna be very serious moving forward. But I have had conversations on this podcast. If you take insulin or so faucinyas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low, you need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G, VO hypo pen. My daughter carries GE, voc hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly, and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store jivo kypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use jivo kypo pen before. Situation happens. Learn more about why G vo kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma, visit gvoke, glucagon.com/risk. For safety information. I have always disliked ordering diabetes supplies. I'm guessing you have as well. It hasn't been a problem for us for the last few years, though, because we began using us Med, you can too us med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, to get your free benefits. Check us med has served over 1 million people living with diabetes since 1996 they carry everything you need, from CGM to insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies and more. I'm talking about all the good ones, all your favorites, libre three, Dexcom, g7 and pump psych, Omnipod five, Omnipod dash, tandem, and most recently, the I let pump from beta bionics, the stuff you're looking for, they have it at us. Med, 88887211514, or go to us. Med.com/juicebox, to get started now, use my link to support the podcast that's us med.com/juice box, or call 888-721-1514, conversations on this podcast that in my wildest dreams I would never have expected to have had. And you know, I I will tell you that. I mean, I guess right now, trigger warning. Probably a lot of things are going to get said in this podcast that you know might be triggers. But here, here's the first one from me. I once received an email from a young woman, not I forget if she was maybe in her mid to late 20s by the time I spoke to her, sent me this passionate email that she wanted to come on the podcast and tell the story of her sexual assault in college and how it impacted her diabetes. And I stared at that email for a long time, yeah. And I was like, I don't what am I? How am I going to facilitate that conversation? You know, like, and why here? Why me? Like I did. I was just trying to make a podcast. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't think all this was gonna happen. I spoke to my wife about it a number of times, and then one day I responded back to the person. I said, you know, if this is a story you want to tell, like, I'd be happy and proud to help you get it out in the world. And she came on, and at the end of it, I don't know if I said it on the recording or when it was over, I was like, Was that okay? Like, did I do? Okay? Like, I didn't know what I was doing. So everyone get ready for me not to know what I'm doing again. Also, I'm just gonna put this out there. Now, my personal stance on this, I don't know if it's gonna come through or come out, but I think it's gonna be surprising to some of you. Anyway, okay, go ahead. I mean, listen, Can I be honest? I don't know that we need to start all the way at the beginning. Okay. Also, I'm gonna have to stop myself from making stupid jokes like that one. But let's go ahead and go. You. Go ahead.

Cate 13:12
What do you it's fine, because I feel like I don't know, like there are things that happen that absolutely can laugh about now and then. There's still things that are, I still see as, like, traumatic, if you will, yeah, but I feel like it's, it's always easier to kind of get over, not over things, because I don't think you actually ever get over something, right? I think you just kind of learn how to let it be in your life, you know what I mean? So, but it's always easier to do that when you can, like, smile about it. So I genuinely do not care if we make completely inappropriate jokes, like, I don't care. I will absolutely, I don't

Scott Benner 13:53
feel like I'm doing that, yeah, but I'm gonna say this, that I'm gonna ask my first question, right? So everyone listening respect the fact that anyone else making a podcast would have edited the first 10 minutes of this out and just started with, Kate, you're on for a very after school reason, after school, special sadness reason today. And I would have I seriously, most people I know would be like, Oh, I didn't realize that's what we were talking about. I'm getting rid of that part. But not me. I'm gonna leave it in. So, yeah, yeah. Let's just start like by refreshing people on who you are. How old were you when you were diagnosed? I

Cate 14:26
was 11, turning 12 that year. How

Scott Benner 14:30
old are you now?

Speaker 1 14:31
I am. I'm gonna be 39 next month, almost in a month, absolutely.

Scott Benner 14:37
Let me do this with you. Take the nine and subtract one. You come up with an eight. You take the three and you subtract one. So 28

Cate 14:43
years ago, oh, there you go. It's easy. Look at you. Easy math. Well,

Scott Benner 14:47
not if you live in Canada. They teach you penguin feces or whatever they do, like, I don't know how they teach you people, you're you're feral, right? You just wander around eating fish heads and, yeah, no, I. Understand, you guys should build a city, that's all I'm saying. It would really, would really bring things around. Also, by the way, I don't know where in the Canada you are, but I don't know if anybody saw the news. Toronto can't handle a little rain. No. Jesus Christ.

Cate 15:15
They can't do it with snow either. Honestly, like they're in the news every single season because they have to, like, do an emergency whatever. They

Scott Benner 15:24
were swimming in the streets the other day. Yeah, they almost the port Isabel almost floated away. So 28 years ago, type one diabetes. Hey, your computer's making noises like, is there a way we can stop that? Because I know for certain you're gonna say abortion, and then it's gonna go bing, and I'm gonna be like, Yeah, I like, don't need that.

Unknown Speaker 15:40
That's what that is. Yeah, absolutely. So

Scott Benner 15:43
28 years ago, you're diagnosed. 11, turning 12 years old. We've gone over your whole story in 716, if people want to go listen to that after dark episode. At what point? I mean, let's just jump ahead. At what point do you become pregnant? So

Cate 15:58
I was turning 30 that year, so it was nine years ago.

Scott Benner 16:04
Okay, you're dating, you're married, you're with somebody.

Cate 16:07
I was dating him. So Tyler, who's my husband. Now, we started dating, March of 2015, and then I believe I became pregnant. I want to say it was May, May, June, July, August, yeah, so then it would have been at like, some point in May, I became pregnant.

Scott Benner 16:31
How long had you been dating at that point?

Cate 16:33
Well, we got together in March, so like two months. All right, yeah, see, I can do easy maths too. Look at that,

Scott Benner 16:40
yeah, no, I did you pull the goalie? Or was there were you already skating? No,

Cate 16:45
yeah, yeah. So, like, just because of my past history and just things that had happened in the past, just with my health and what have you, as well as, like, being long term with other partners and not like, I hadn't been on birth control for years and not using anything, because that was me being stupid. I never got pregnant, ever. I've never had a scare, never, ever, ever, like, so I just assumed that I couldn't, in all honesty, like, really, really stupid, but I just assumed that I couldn't, because I've never had a, like, close call, nothing like that. Here

Scott Benner 17:29
comes my first question. Jesus, sorry. So in your sexual history, were you, oh, god, how am I gonna do this promiscuous? No, no, no. I don't mean that. I mean when? Because, yes, no, because, because that's not what I meant, what I what I was trying to Oh God, what I was, oh my god. I don't know a way to do this. How, how were you avoiding it before you weren't just like, the ACT wasn't ending, oh God, inside of times, yeah, sometimes it was absolutely and you just weren't getting pregnant. You were like, obviously, I just can't get pregnant. Yeah,

Cate 18:05
like, like, I was like, I have PCOS. And I just, like, I just assumed, because it's happened often. I've been with, like, long term people quite a few times it like, it like, like, when I say completely ignorant, which most, like a lot of people are, when it comes to babies and getting pregnant and sex, I've

Scott Benner 18:27
seen the world go ahead, yeah, absolutely.

Cate 18:29
I just made the assumption that I wasn't able to get pregnant because I was 30. Had so many stupid calls, and it just never, ever happened, ever, like, ever, ever, ever

Scott Benner 18:43
was your attitude? Like, go ahead, throw it in there. Nothing's gonna happen. Yeah,

Cate 18:48
absolutely okay. And I was also, like, the way that I am, which also gets brought out in the first episode too, like that we first taught I have, like, pre deposition, I don't know if I'm predisposition. Oh, my lawyer, that's right, yeah, yes, what you said. Thank you for pronouncing it correctly. I feel like I have this thing, like nothing can happen to me, like I'm invincible. Oh, that's and that's not and like, kids and teens feel that way. Usually, you know what I mean, like, they got that really weird thing, but they still kind of tend to think that the really bad, bad stuff could potentially happen to them. But I don't have that. I don't I don't think of consequences to actions I never have. I doubt I ever will. It's just, it's just part of how I've always been. So I also like that has a strong play in it. It's like, yep, yes, this thing can happen. Yes, I know it can happen, but it's never going to happen to me. And if it does, like I it's not in me to think about it or whatever, like I've never. Or been able to ever, ever, ever, ever.

Scott Benner 20:02
It has a name, Kate.

Cate 20:03
I'm like a sociopath. Yeah,

Scott Benner 20:08
that's not the name I was thinking of. But I'm also, I use chat GPT here a little bit because I knew there was an answer to this question. I didn't want to fumble around for it. Also, I'm using this opportunity to say that if everything went well in the next four weeks, you guys have already been listening to a new series with my daughter called I don't understand where Arden and I sit down and go over a single topic that she legitimately doesn't understand. We talk about it and then break it down and then define it. Yeah. Okay, so the psychological mechanism that allows humans to believe that bad things can't happen to them is known as optimism bias. To break down the concept, optimism bias is a cognitive bias that causes individuals to believe they are less likely to experience negative events and more likely to experience positive events compared to others. Key factors of this people often believe they have more control over their outcomes than they actually do. This leads to a sense of invulnerability. Individuals tend to view themselves in a more favorable light, believing they are smarter, more skilled and more capable than others. I mean, optimism bias helps in managing anxiety and stress by maintaining a positive outlook on life and future events. This is actually it's a healthy thing for you to believe in yourself and expect that things won't go wrong. I've said this before on the podcast. If you were running around thinking stuff was going to go wrong all the time, that would be a mental illness. It would it would drive you into a problem. People may selectively focus on information that supports a positive outlook and ignore or downplay negative information with health, it's believing one is less likely to get sick or develop chronic illnesses despite engaging in risky behaviors, and it goes on from there. Yeah, there are benefits to it, as I said, and of course, there are drawbacks. But you had that feeling like I'm invincible, nothing's gonna happen to me,

Cate 21:57
yeah, but mine's tied into any social personality disorder, as opposed to optimism, which I like your version better. So that what we're going to start telling doctors I

Scott Benner 22:13
couldn't remember the enough of our conversation to ask. But if you were promiscuous at a young age, do you have bipolar or something like that? No,

Cate 22:21
so it's any social personality disorder. So I don't have empathy. I don't show empathy for anyone. I don't I don't have the ability to and never have incredibly impulsive kind of a better than thou way of thinking.

Scott Benner 22:39
Tell me if you heard episode 1253 last the beginning of this week, Ken. Ken, no, I had GLP meds impact mental health. Episode 1253 okay, definitely go listen to it. Okay, because a mom came on and laid out a story of her daughter who had is type one and has bipolar disorder, yeah. And they worked through, I mean, the problems are extensive, eventually getting the kid on lithium, which took away her suicidal ideation, but did not take away any of the other issues, and the rest of it went away when she started using a GLP. Oh, interesting, maybe, uh, inflammation, I don't know. Obviously not a doctor. Yeah, I'm an idiot who figured out how to pay for this microphone. Like, go listen to it. It's crazy. Okay, all right, absolutely, okay. So you have at the moment, anti so look at me. I'm so positive. I'm like, at the moment, till you get some we go V and then you'll probably be fine, by the way. Are the GLP companies not? Why are they not knocking down my door to buy an ad I'm obviously on the team. Like, come on. No. Okay, so that's who you've been, who you are. How has that impacted? Like, it sounds like you don't have any trouble forming private relationships. Do you have trouble keeping them? Yes. Okay, so when Tyler right? Yeah, when Tyler? I mean, listen, Tyler should have known better. That's first of all.

Speaker 1 24:07
That's why I tell him all the time. Yeah, your choice.

Scott Benner 24:12
Here's a PSA for boys, yeah, when a girl you've known for 60 days goes, Don't worry about it. Keep going. Here's what you do. You go, oh no, no, I paying for your Corolla. No, I see what's happening here. Okay, anyway, obviously terrible, pull out game. But

Cate 24:34
it just like, proves that. Like, I shouldn't say proves, but, you know, boys sing their penises a lot, yeah, so clearly, when you're about to jizz, there's no brain. There's no blood in the actual brain, it's just all in the penis. Being like, it feel awkward because

Scott Benner 24:52
you're significantly younger than I am, but once you get to that point, like you could probably say to me. If you keep going, I'm gonna like, you know, I don't know, kill your puppy. And I'd be like, he's lived a good life. You can make fun of boys all you want. And I don't know what it feels like to be on the other side of intercourse, but on our side of it, it's an awesome, yeah, yeah. Anyway, you can, you

Cate 25:21
get it. You can kind of understand poor Tyler. And where, no,

Scott Benner 25:25
no, yeah. If you would have killed Tyler in the middle of it, he could stop the Ukraine war, he'd have been like, you know, they've already got all those weapons. They probably want to use them. Tyler does what he does, and then you find out you're pregnant. What's the like? How does that I mean, two months is not a long time. So how does that conversation go

Cate 25:42
in all in all honesty, it's like, thankfully, Tyler kind of already knew my personality at the time, so when I find out, it's probably two months later, in all honesty, because I hide my periods, but they were not right, but I still had them okay, you know? So like it's thinking back now, definitely different from what the normal was. But it also wasn't weird for me to have a bit of an abnormal period. It would be weird for me not to have one at all, but it would be fine for me to have an abnormal period because I was still having them. It never even, like, I didn't even clock it, like, the first close to two months. So

Scott Benner 26:30
you guys have been together about four months at this point. Then when you're like, I think I got a bun in the oven,

Cate 26:36
absolutely like it is, like, we're into like, end of July, going into August. By the time I'm like, something is really wrong with me, yeah,

Scott Benner 26:48
okay, go to a doctor. Figure it out on your own. Pee on a stick. What do you

Cate 26:52
do? So, how to pee on a stick? So this is the thing about the UK. So I was in the midst like, so everything with Tyler, like, my relationship with Tyler accelerated greatly, even without that. Like, so I was in the midst of moving in with Tyler. My lease was up. We were kind of, like, in it to win it, you know, like, it felt great in more ways than one.

Scott Benner 27:17
Let me point out, Kate too. You got the you got the hormones running around too. You don't even realize, like, this is amazing. This guy seems like the right one, and I need to make a nest with him. Yeah,

Cate 27:28
I was not. I had a very difficult pregnancy, right? Honestly, the guy was, I must have been awesome in bed. Wait, wait, hold

Scott Benner 27:38
on, what? I'm sorry. I was

Cate 27:40
like, I must have been awesome in bed or something, because I was like, an utter bitch, like, like an absolute, if I'm going to go back to my UK roots, like an absolute, oh, like an awful, awful. I was just grouchy, and I was like, sick, and my numbers were high, and I was just,

Scott Benner 28:01
you're saying there wasn't a lot good, there wasn't a lot of

Unknown Speaker 28:04
good. Like, you know, let's move in.

Scott Benner 28:09
Like, this is great, yeah, bring your toothbrush lady with the velvet pocket. You come on over. Yeah. My gosh. Well, good for you, Kate, yeah. I mean, sounds like you got a you got something special going on? No, that's not right. In this conversation, you're not doing anything special, is what I'm saying,

Unknown Speaker 28:28
Nothing. No, all right, no, I got nothing. You've

Scott Benner 28:31
never walked into a room with a lamp and said, I have an idea. No,

Speaker 1 28:34
I got an idea. Okay, that would be, that's weird. Could be a

Scott Benner 28:41
small lamp. I don't know what we're talking about exactly. Yeah, I was probably thinking, Yeah, I don't know exactly what I was getting at. So, so he's into you big time. You're flooded with pregnancy hormones. So you think he's the greatest thing since, like, sliced bread. A lot of women will. I shouldn't say this. I'm gonna get people divorced, but a lot of people are, when they're on birth control, end up very attracted to men that they later find out when they're off birth control. They're like, I don't really like this guy. Amazing, yeah, but the birth control pill gives you that like I'm pregnant vibe, and you're you're looking for anybody who looks like they can put three squares on the table and maybe hug a kid once in a while. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So you guys are moving in. It's going quickly. You find out you're pregnant, you go to him and you say, hey,

Cate 29:30
like, I'm Hey, I'm pregnant. It's like, we both, I want to say we both went to the pharmacy to grab

Scott Benner 29:39
17 more privacy tests, yeah, basically,

Cate 29:42
like, we're trying to figure out which one's the best one most accurate, came back, like, peed on the stick and was like, yeah. So it's like, here's positive, like, but yeah, everything kind of just stood

Scott Benner 29:55
still. Not something you want. We're excited about. No

Cate 29:59
and. And I've, like, I've never really wanted kids like that. Was never that. Was never anything that I saw for myself.

Scott Benner 30:09
Do you have kids now? No, well, I

Cate 30:11
mean, I've got three dogs, and they are absolutely my children. So yes, but listen,

Scott Benner 30:17
I mean it with deference the dog lovers. I mean, yeah, okay, but you don't wanna be you. You've steadfastly stuck to that over the last eight years or so. Yes, okay, all right, so it's an ocean from you. What is it from him?

Cate 30:30
It's kind of the same, like, it's, it's more of like it was, honestly like a night of stunned silence, staring, like, yeah, and and like, okay, so what now is, really, yeah, like, it was a lot of, I think both of us kind of had, like, a bit of a panic face on.

Scott Benner 30:49
Who's the first one who, like, is brave enough to say out loud, are we keeping a baby? Like, who says that?

Cate 30:56
In all honesty, I don't know. And I don't know if it was me being like, I can't, like, I can't keep this. Or if it was me being like, what are your thoughts on not keeping it, or something like that, and I, and I also don't know if it was him being like, are you going to keep it, Tyler throughout the entire thing? Wasn't like, this is your decision. I'm not like, I'm not. It's not like he was pushing it on me, because that's not what he was doing. But he made it very clear that he was along for the ride no matter what, and that this was my decision like so if I if I wanted to be pregnant, if I wanted to go, go through with it, he was 100% super excited about it. If he saw, if I saw I wasn't able to and that my health couldn't sustain it, because I currently it wasn't able to sustain it, be able to not do anything, he was like, like, 100% on board with you. So, like, he was always there, but made sure that in the end, it was my decision, and he let me know that he was like, I've never aspired to be a dad. He was like, I'm happy if we have them. I'm happy if we don't. But he's like, but this isn't my this is not I wasn't like, I need to be a dad, and nothing else matters. You know? He was like, I have other aspirations. You know? He's like, would I would this be amazing. Yeah, would it not be? Yeah? Like it's fine, setting

Scott Benner 32:25
your health aside for a second and going back in that moment and even with with hindsight, can you beyond, I just never thought of having kids or didn't want kids? Can you put more context to what it is about being a parent that's not attractive to you? So

Cate 32:40
it has changed since, but it was just the whole I've just never, at the time, I never felt it. I've I have friends who like that was their number one dream, like, that's what they talked about when they were looking for a partner. That's what they like. They were all about it, you know. And it was, you know, when they talked about the future, it was about family. And I was like, I'm traveling the world, like, I've got it to do, like, I'm not, absolutely not. Like my friends have been having kids since they were, like, 16 and 17. Like, well, so

Scott Benner 33:20
you've been around it then, oh, yeah, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 33:23
But it wasn't, um,

Scott Benner 33:24
give me a second. It's not, it's not that I don't like kids or I don't think I'd be a good parent. It's I'm trying to live a life here that I think would be slowed down by having children.

Cate 33:34
No, it was, I'm trying to live a life here that I don't see children in, okay, like, that's really, like, not that I would be slowed down a side thought, yeah, like, I'm not going to deny it. Like, I'm not going to deny that I absolutely think that children can slow you down. Do I think that they can stop you No, do I think that they can slow you down? Yeah? Do I think you need to think differently about how you do things? Absolutely well,

Scott Benner 33:58
it changes your course.

Unknown Speaker 34:00
Absolutely it does.

Scott Benner 34:02
Can I ask you if you if you had that baby, do you think you would have done that? Do you think you would have said, Okay, well, I'm gonna set aside the things that I wanted to do and I'm gonna raise the baby the way that I think that should happen. Or do you think you would have been Oh, do you think you would just be in Madagascar with a baby on your hip? No,

Cate 34:19
I don't, I don't know. I don't, I, honestly, I don't know, because, again, my brain doesn't think like that either. So like, I can't picture a future if it's not a possibility, and currently, like, it's it didn't happen. So I can't think of the what ifs my brain doesn't function that way.

Scott Benner 34:40
Tell me your fears of what you would have messed up with a baby

Cate 34:44
I had always like. So my biggest fear, and it still is, is that I don't have empathy. I don't have it at all I like and so how I care for people is very different. And how you would care for people, or how, like, how Tyler cares for people, even my own mother, like he treats her very differently than I do, and speaks to her differently. And so I'm very cognizant of like that you need a type of nurturing, I think, to be able to ensure that your your kid, kind of knows what the human ability is to be around others. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think I would want another one of me around, like, just hanging out like that. That to me, it's not a great it's not a great life to live. It really isn't like I know the vast differences between how I interact with people compared to others, and others get a lot more fulfillment with with being around people, and on being in their jobs and being in a family and being a friend and all that jazz. It's very different for them, whereas for me, it's I'm manipulative. I am uncaring, in a way that most would you know would see as caring. I am impulsive. I have I don't give a shit what I say, and I don't care about how any of it affects you. I don't care. I don't care if you're sick. I don't give a shit. It doesn't affect me. Why do I care if you're sick right now? Oh, you're dying. Sucks for you. Like, yikes,

Scott Benner 36:29
yeah. Like, something comes up on on social media. You're like, Oh my God, I don't know a famous actor died. You don't nothing.

Cate 36:38
And that's weird to me. Like, I've, like, there's been, it's Michael Jackson. People care, yeah, yeah, okay. Like, Michael Jackson, like this person that you don't even know, and my boss at the time was like, bawling her eyes out. And I was like, what the

Scott Benner 36:56
unstable to me, but whatever. What? Yeah, yeah. Don't judge yourself too hard on that one. Like, I was like, I was like, when, when somebody famous, I don't know, passes away. I'm like, oh, that's like, Donald. Donald Sutherland died recently. And I was like, it made me go. It made me go. Also Canadian. Oh, Canadian. I thought you said comedian. I was like, No, he's not. No. Canadian, yeah. And I um, correct. Look at me. I'm like, Yes, point for you. And I thought I stopped for a second, and I said, Oh, mash was such a good movie, and he was terrific in it. And I thought about a couple of other things he was in, and then I it occurred to me that he had worked well into the end of his life, and that we'd enjoyed him and things like all the way up to hunger games and stuff like that. And I took a second to tell my kids. I was like, Hey, that guy was a really good actor and and I was like, and his son's an actor too. And I was like, you know, have you seen this movie? Then I never thought about it again. And I did not cry. He wasn't one of my favorites or anything like that. But I felt like I had a reasonable reaction to that. Would you have not even gone that far into it?

Cate 37:59
Oh, no. I was like, Oh, he's Canadian. And then moved on with the end of it. Gotcha it that that was the end of it. Like that. I absolutely know he died, because it was all over my social but I was like, Oh, he's Canadian, and then there's nobody with that influx of like,

Scott Benner 38:13
oh yeah, we lost another race pirate, okay. And so let me, let me slow you down for a second. Ask you this question, can you characterize your day to day life? Are you happy, fulfilled when you think about what life is? What is it?

Cate 38:30
I don't know. I don't I don't know how to answer that question outside of it sounding like a scholarly answer, life is a life is a bunch of events that happens to you until you die, and some of them are fun and some of them are it, and it is just what it is. Yeah.

Scott Benner 38:56
I mean, that's pretty accurate. What's the most joyous thing that's happened to you in the last month

Cate 39:01
my and it weirds Tyler out, but like, My dogs are genuinely and I don't know why. I have zero idea why. But like, I know love, because I love them okay, and I know that. I know that full stop, like, I like, and it allows me to be like, Wow, so this is how normal people feel, like I don't even and Tyler knows it, but like the the type of affection, and to the extent of affection, and what I feel inside, that I feel for my dogs, I don't feel for My husband? Can I say that I love my husband absolutely in the in the manner of which I can and do absolutely, like yes, full stop as well. Is it what I think how you love your wife, or have loved your wife and love your kids? Know, Like, I know it's different. Couple

Scott Benner 40:01
questions, you're you're on that Titanic film, and you're floating on the headboard that you pretend only fits one person. But then you realize this thing's huge, and I could have easily gotten leaving it harder to Caprio up on this thing. And up comes Tyler and your dog. Who do you pull up on the headboard? The dog? And what do you tell Tyler? Anything?

Speaker 1 40:21
Love you like hopefully you'll stay alive in this ice, cold water.

Scott Benner 40:25
But the dog needs to come out. The dog though, the dog is, yeah, he knows this. Tyler's aware of this. Yeah. Were you abused as a young person?

Cate 40:35
No, do I have trauma? Yes. Did it come from that? No, this is just something, how I'm wired,

Scott Benner 40:41
Okay, what about Tyler? Lets him be okay with that. In

Cate 40:45
all honesty, I have no I do not know. I don't know. We have like, I am very open. I am very communicative. He unders like he understands. Because there are absolutely times where I have to go to him and ask him about like, human reaction, human emotion, and about whether or not this is right, like or not right, if this is normal, or if this person is overreacting like so he has daily conversations with me about people and their like, emotional regulation, and whether or not it's normal. He knows that. So, like, if we get in if he's telling me something and he's super excited about it, and I've never had the conversation before, I don't I don't know how to react, right? So a lot of my responses are learned behaviors. I mimic.

Scott Benner 41:49
You don't feel them or even mean them. You're just

Cate 41:51
i It's all Mimic, right? Like so this is how I know. I know how to sue someone when they're crying, because I've seen it exactly in front of me, not on a movie, like it's actually happened, and it's happened a few times. So Tyler is used to me being like, how do you want me? How do you want me to react? Like, what do you want me to say?

Scott Benner 42:14
Has he suffered trauma as a child? No,

Cate 42:17
no. Like, bless him. It's, I'm so lucky. It's stupid, like it honestly, is really, really stupid.

Scott Benner 42:25
He's so empathetic that he can make up for this. I

Cate 42:29
or he gets something else from it. I don't, I don't, I don't know. Or he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand. And then he does, because there are times where his face falls, it's like he's forgotten, and then he remembers who he's dealing with.

Scott Benner 42:46
Do you feel like you're letting him down when that happens? You don't do you

Cate 42:50
probably not to the extent that you would. Okay. So like, like, I do.

Scott Benner 42:55
You recognize it exactly. Donald Sutherland's Canadian, but then that's the end of it. Yeah, yeah,

Cate 42:59
yeah. And I wish I could do better. Like, I do say that, like, so I do have, like, which is also kind of like a doctor would say it, but you do have a bit of regret, like, you do kind of feel that consequence, but I don't align it the same way, but I do, I do want to be better for him,

Scott Benner 43:17
right? We don't want to do we don't want to be falling apart because Michael Jackson instead. But we'd like to sit around for a minute and go, Oh my god, man in the mirror is good song. Yeah. Okay,

Cate 43:25
yeah. And I want to be better for him. It was someone else, like, I don't have that for them. So I think he also recognizes that, like, how I am with him is actually very different than how I am with other people, and other people I've had in my life and that I'm supposed to love. You know that that has that relationship with me is supposed to be different, and he can see that it's it's not like I don't there's nothing there, right? Where there is something there with him? Yeah,

Scott Benner 43:55
let me ask two questions. They're gonna seem strange, but they're the ones in my head right now. This one's got nothing to do with me. I think is going to make a point. You listen to this podcast, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 44:03
How do you feel about me? I don't feel anything about you.

Scott Benner 44:06
Don't feel anything about No, that's fine. That's what I'm expecting you to say, Yeah, but you've gotten actionable information from the podcast. It's made you a healthier person. Is that? Right?

Unknown Speaker 44:14
Yes.

Scott Benner 44:15
Are you grateful? No, no. If I said to you, Kate, hey, I need 20 bucks, would you send it to me?

Cate 44:21
No, unless you, unless we made like, a deal, so unless I benefit from it in some way. No, you

Scott Benner 44:29
get done listening to an episode and you're like, God, damn, that's a great idea. I'm gonna do that next time I eat blah, blah, blah. Thank God Scott's alive. No, no. Okay, now some questions that in 2024 people definitely don't ask anymore, but I think they're important, and I'm just going to ask them please, please, if you don't want to answer any of them, just tell me you don't want to. I'm trying to think about this from Tyler's perspective for a second, and I'm going to get very, very surface, because you've gone through the deep stuff, and there's not a lot to swim in. Are you. Rich.

Unknown Speaker 45:00
No,

Scott Benner 45:01
are you hot?

Cate 45:02
I would say that I am attractive. Yes, yes, I do have that body that I have, a body that men are attracted to. Yes, okay, are

Scott Benner 45:10
you Ultra sexual?

Unknown Speaker 45:11
I used to be, yes,

Scott Benner 45:12
but not now, not now. No, because,

Cate 45:16
because there's no need to be unless I want something, because

Scott Benner 45:19
you got him, yeah, all right. So you were throwing that thing at anybody to get them in there, but now they're there, and you're like, I don't need to give it to you to keep you here, because you're staying, I can see you're staying. So like, there's no reason to do this.

Speaker 1 45:33
Or I like, they've they've lost usefulness. Does

Scott Benner 45:38
the sex bring you any pleasure. Currently,

Cate 45:41
it doesn't, not, because it's not good. But right now, I don't know for if that's going on. It's a

Scott Benner 45:51
well, you just stuck up for Tyler. That was interesting. Yeah, I know, yeah, because you were like, listen, Tyler can sling big. It's not his fault, okay? Like, so like, but it's not, but you nothing. You don't care.

Speaker 1 46:04
I don't care. Yeah, I don't care if we have it, like you do it, even though you don't

Unknown Speaker 46:09
want

Cate 46:10
to do in the moment. Like, I know that I get something from it. That's how I see it. Does that make sense? So he wants that. So the reasons why we have it are too different. So he wants to have it because it's intimacy, right? He wants to physically show his love for me. He likes that intimacy. He likes the touching. I can't stand him touching me. I can't stand people touching me. I see it as a thing that I derive pleasure from, but it's not long lasting. And once it's done, it's done, right? Like, it's not like, it stays with me the rest of the day. Like, yeah, it kind of puts me in a good mood, because the endorphins are going and what have you. And it's dopamine, right? But that is an everlasting to me that doesn't, that doesn't stay do? I constantly want to seek it out so that I can get it I used to. That's kind of the reasons why it kind of made me feel a bit more normal. So

Scott Benner 47:04
you're having a lot of sex at one point to make you feel more normal, because the endorphins,

Cate 47:08
okay? And because I got some it was like, Oh, I'm feeling something right. Like, when you kind of, it's not that I feel dead inside all of the time, but you're kind of feeling dead inside all of the time. So whatever, it's the same reason why I go for, like, I used to be extremely impulsive and put myself in really dangerous situations, because you were the jolt you get something from it, absolutely yes. Can I tell you something, what a way to be alive, amazing. Like,

Scott Benner 47:31
I was having a bad day the other day, and I went out and drove fast on purpose, like, to get some adrenaline going every day. No, no. I was like, I was having a particularly bad day. And I was like, if I just drive quickly for five seconds, I can pop my adrenaline up and get rid of this. I actually did that on purpose, so, and I did that, by the way, on a back street near a school bus stop. No, I'm just kidding. I was I went somewhere that I thought was very safe and kind of out of the way. Well, this is very honest of you. First of all, Kate, if you don't feel like you owe me anything, and you don't give a what anybody else thinks, Why are you telling this story? Because a lot of people say, I come on to tell my story to help other people, but you don't care if you're helping other people. Are you bragging?

Cate 48:16
No, no. And it's like, yeah, no, I don't. I'm trying to think of, what do you get out of this? How to describe it? Does it stroke an ego in a way? Probably, like I would be it's stupid to not think so. Do I think it's important? Probably do. I think it's important because I think I'm important. Likely.

Scott Benner 48:37
Why do you care if it's important? Oh,

Speaker 1 48:39
yeah. So like, that's Yeah, good question,

Scott Benner 48:43
because you don't go around telling people I was on a podcast if you want to listen, right? No, I don't, because you don't care if they like you or not.

Cate 48:50
No, I don't, absolutely not. No, and I like, I'm I do business the same way. I get into a lot of like, I yeah, I get Yeah, because I don't give a I don't care. You're

Scott Benner 49:02
incredibly consistent, yes, yeah, because there's no like, you don't care if Tyler cares. You don't care if I care. You don't care if any. You don't you're not trying to make a faceless person like you like you know, but you're still here. I mean, it's an hour your life. You're telling a lot of intimate things. I'm assuming you don't tell a lot of people this stuff, right? It's not

Cate 49:21
something that you just bring up in like normal conversation. If anyone were to ask me, absolutely, I would tell them, because I have again, because I don't care. I have nothing to hide, right to me, it's, do I think more people should be like me? Yes. Do I think that telling my story can give some permission, not in the sense of them not caring, but telling people so that it's not like it happens to people. I'm also like a huge again, this is where a contradiction will come in. Like, I'm a huge feminist, and so for whatever reason, I have. Of like a like a vigilante, like, type of complex in the sense that I feel like things happen to people that shouldn't, and I think that they deserve justice a lot more than what they've received. And

Scott Benner 50:17
karma is not equally being doled out in the world? Absolutely. And

Cate 50:21
I think anyone who believes it is a liar to themselves, and they need to be truthful.

Scott Benner 50:28
But why do you care about this part so,

Cate 50:30
this part so because, and we haven't barely even talked about it, but the abortion side of things is that women's right to choose or not to choose, I think, is used so much as a political platform, or as a as a religious platform, or as just a way, like a righteous platform, that I think that they're villainized and they shouldn't be villainized. Why do you care? So that this is, that's what I mean, is that that's like the, this is important contradiction, yeah, like that one, you're fired, yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Scott Benner 51:11
Don't give a he looks sad and he just wants to feel my skin touches. He can go, can pound sand, right, right?

Cate 51:20
If anyone around with Tyler, he belongs to me, he's mine. I am like he belongs to me, he's mine, and I will ruin anyone who affects him. That makes sense, because he's think of it as almost like a possession. I don't think of Tyler as a possession, but I also think of Tyler as a possession. So he is, he's mine to protect. And, yeah, so like, but

Scott Benner 51:50
not for his well being, for yours, because you went all, you went to all this trouble. All comes

Cate 51:55
Absolutely, it all so, and that's just, that's just the part of the thing is that it will always come back to me for, like, a selfish reason. Yeah, listen,

Scott Benner 52:03
Kate, here's the high side of this. Anybody who got this far into it who's very pro, like, anti abortion, is, like, you know, it's probably okay that this girl didn't have a baby. So, like, I'm not usually for this, but okay, I'm gonna make an exception here for Cate, yeah, yeah. So you destroy another person for with Tyler, because of all the hard work you put into getting Tyler into your house and keeping him quiet when you don't want to have sex with him, like you got him where you want him now you don't need anybody messing with him, not

Cate 52:35
in like, if they are, and it's not like messing like, like flirting like, I don't mean like that, but like, if they it's hard to hurt him, or if you're mean to him, like, I absolutely will you up. Like, are you mean to him? Make him upset? Probably, he will probably be the first one to say that I'm

Scott Benner 52:54
you make him upset. Likely, yeah, why is it not okay for other

Cate 52:58
people not to think that? Because, because there doesn't need to be logic to it. Scott is because, why is it okay for you? It's not, it's and I don't, I will never, I will never condone any like the way that I am to anyone.

Scott Benner 53:16
Is there no effort to change it?

Cate 53:18
I think so. And I like, again, it's like, I I can see myself change and how I am with Tyler all of the time, and he can too, like how we first were to how we are now is almost night and day. So you

Scott Benner 53:36
just need to live to, like, 197 and you think this is all going to be

Cate 53:40
okay. Uh, hopefully not. No, I also, I will also go before he will, most likely Wait. Why? So I know that he will probably have a really nice life.

Scott Benner 53:49
Why? Why do you think you'll go before him? Outside

Cate 53:53
of stats, I know that women live longer, but I've got, like, a few

Scott Benner 53:58
things going, yeah. How do you find the energy to care about your diabetes?

Cate 54:02
It's a thing that is there that keep like, and if I don't manage it, then it set my life and that you care about is a benefit to me. So if I want to continue to live longer, if I like so during like, a really, not so great patch growing up when we were still trying to figure out what the was going on and what have you absolutely tried to commit suicide a few times, and what have you and absolutely used diabetes as a tool to self harm, because it's, it's it was no longer, it's not useful to me. Like, if I want to die keeping, like, keeping track of it, like keeping it good and good control or whatever is no longer beneficial.

Scott Benner 54:47
I feel like I'm going to take a lot of for this next question, but it feels like the next obvious question,

Unknown Speaker 54:52
yeah,

Scott Benner 54:52
oh God, hold on a second. I don't want to be judged and I don't want emails. Okay, just try to put yourself in my position. Okay? Okay, why is it you want to be alive?

Cate 55:02
Because I still get it like, I still get pleasure from being alive. I still find life very interesting, and I find people as like as I find people very interesting, and I like very interesting, but

Scott Benner 55:17
like subjects. You know, you don't want to be involved subjects, Oh

Cate 55:19
God no, yeah, absolutely like to be studied to the point where, like, Tyler absolutely is, like, you need to stop talking, because really fascinated. Well, no, I but I get really fascinated by stuff and the and if it fascinates me or gets me excited, and I haven't come across this particular situation, I don't really know how to react, so it's kind of like it's not like autism, but it's almost like you don't recognize the social thing that's happening, and you make it extremely awkward and and how you've reacted is not normal. So I do that. So like someone I had started, kind of started reading about Rwanda and, like, the genocide there and what have you. And then I met someone from Rwanda, and I was like, did you grow up during and she's like, Yeah. Like, this is the reason why I came to Canada. And I was like, That's fascinating. That's not something that you tell someone who literally went through a genocide, right? I was like, tell me everything. Like, that's not it's like, oh my gosh. Like, that's right, I'm so sorry. That's what you went through, you know. Like, that must have been horrific. Like, did you, you know, like, hopefully your family's okay. Like, that's usually how you're supposed to respond. Whereas I was like, science experiment, like, amazing. Like, tell me everything, like she's not in real life, yeah, no, absolutely,

Scott Benner 56:44
she's a reporter on something that you found interesting.

Cate 56:47
Absolutely, yeah. And so, like, Tyler is like, Oh, that's not how you do that. That's absolutely not how you go about that conversation. And I was like, oh. And then so he had to, like, teach me how to go through like, a conversation like a normal person. Okay? Yeah, like, and he does it like, we'll go, and it's like, small things as well. We'll go to, like, a craft market around Christmas. You know, people are selling their artisan wares that, you know, they put blood, sweat and tears into, that I don't give a about. And I will absolutely just start being like, I really hate this chain. This is, it looks cheap. It's fine. And like, the person is right, literally right in front of me. Yeah, no, I'm not trying to, I'm I'm stating facts of how I like, this is, this looks cheap, like, and he's like, that's not, you don't do that. Like, that's not what you're supposed to do. I was like, Oh, what am I supposed to do? Let me educate you. This is what you're supposed to do. People

Scott Benner 57:41
might be thinking, Scott got pretty far away from the abortion conversation, but, and here's, here's why, there's nowhere to go with it, because if, if I ask her how she felt like because all my questions were going to be about like, hey, in hindsight, are you sorry you did it like, you know is, did it? Did you have any lingering guilt? I think we know all the answers to all those questions. Well, no, no. Like, wait, no,

Speaker 1 58:07
no. So, like, do I ever think

Scott Benner 58:11
about it? Absolutely, I do. You wonder what the baby might be like?

Unknown Speaker 58:16
Absolutely.

Scott Benner 58:17
Why do you care? What? Jesus? Okay, hold on. I'm sorry, because

Unknown Speaker 58:21
I'm I'm curious. Like, it's like, oh, wait

Scott Benner 58:24
a minute. Are you curious what the baby would be like, or do you miss?

Cate 58:28
I don't know, I but I don't know, right? Like, and there are things that, like, happen in my life, even how I feel about my dogs, I didn't know what was going on or, like, I don't know until I know, right, like, until someone's like, this is what this is. I was like, Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 58:48
Have you ever wondered, What if I would have had that baby and it would have, and it would have changed all these feelings for me, and I would have, would

Cate 58:55
I, yeah, like, would it have changed me with this? Is this the catalyst of me being different. Would I? Would I think about this child as I would my dogs, as I do Tyler, like, we

Scott Benner 59:08
don't want you to think about the baby like, Tyler, but like,

Cate 59:11
but in the in the sense of like, you know, like I went Mama Bear. You know, you always hear mom say that, like, I'll go full on Mama Bear, on them. And like, I do that for Tyler, like, because, you it's this protective instinct. I think that, like, would I have it because I don't care, or would I because it's mine, and it's mine in a completely different way than what Tyler is?

Scott Benner 59:35
Have you ever put somebody else before you? Would you step in front of a bullet for someone,

Unknown Speaker 59:40
if it benefited me, yes, how would

Scott Benner 59:43
it benefit you? You're gonna get shot. It's not gonna benefit you. So like no, but

Cate 59:46
it absolutely can, absolutely can. Would you give your life? Is how you can tell that you are not a manipulative person, so that, like you just think of life very differently than I do. Yeah.

Scott Benner 59:59
Would you give your. Life for someone else?

Cate 1:00:01
Absolutely not. That doesn't benefit me at all. I would be dead. Why would I give my life for somebody? What

Scott Benner 1:00:06
if it was your kid?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:07
I don't know. I

Scott Benner 1:00:09
don't have a child. Tyler, no, I don't know the dog. I don't know. Yeah, probably not, though, right?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:16
I don't know. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:00:17
think you'd be like, I think you'd be like, whoops, guys, you're gonna die. Sorry. I

Cate 1:00:21
don't know. I don't know. I genuinely like, I can for like, how I've been like, yes, no, I don't care about you. Like, I can be very blunt and be like, I know this for fact, for those, which is not common in my life, for those I genuinely don't know. I genuinely don't know. Can I tell

Scott Benner 1:00:43
you something I've been thinking about for a half an hour? Yeah, after we have this conversation, I'm going to run it through and turn it into a transcript. I don't usually do that right away. That usually happens, like, long after, like, way down the line and ending. I'm going to put this out as an mp three, turn it into a transcript, feed it into chat, GPT 4.0, and say, What is wrong with Kate?

Speaker 1 1:01:08
Can you share the results with me? I hope it finds me like a very normal person. Can

Scott Benner 1:01:13
I tell you something I'm not sure I'm gonna read it into the end of the recording, like because, and here's why, not, because I think that AI has the answers to everything, but because I think that inside of this conversation, like, you know, when you listen to something like this, and at the end you go, Oh, you know what? Like, she said this, and that means this. And people have all these theories, but people's brains aren't big enough to hold all but chat. GPT can hold everything that you've said and come up with a diagnosis for what's happening to you, yeah? Because even when I asked, like, do you ever think about what the baby might be like, it's not in terms of, like, yeah, I I wonder what it would be like to have an eight year old running around my house that loves me unconditionally, and I love it back unconditionally. You're not thinking about that. You're just thinking again, like, as a researcher, like, Oh, I do wonder what it would be like, but not, not the way other people are thinking about it. And by the way, I don't think that makes you there's some people who are going to hear this and think this woman's a monster. It's just, it's wiring, wiring. No, it's wiring and don't, no, no, it's wiring and chemicals. And it's no different than, like, you couldn't get upset at somebody for not finding red roses, like, pretty like, it's just whatever is all inside of them. They look at a red rose and they go, not the flower for me, right? And then other people see them and think, Oh, those are so gorgeous, and look how silky they are. And blah, blah, I don't think anyone. I just genuinely don't think that people turn into who they are decisively. I think it's so much about, you know, what's inside of you, and literally, the chemicals running around inside of you and and, I mean, just imagine that this little 11 year old girl was running around bipolar, and she took a peptide and her symptoms went away like, like. So there's a world where there's the thing that we could inject into you that would turn things a little more back to what we consider to be normal, where you might suddenly look at Tyler and be like, Oh my god, there you are. Give me a hug. Have you ever considered that that you're not the way you'd want to be if you could be.

Cate 1:03:22
No, because, again, it's one of those, like, my brain doesn't my understand why?

Scott Benner 1:03:29
Yeah, yeah. But have you ever thought? Never, once you've never philosophized about it? No,

Cate 1:03:34
no. My again, my brain, like, doesn't allow it, like it's, it's, automatically gets dismissed like, I can't entertain it because I like, I can't, I can't.

Scott Benner 1:03:46
Do you like me when you listen? Are you just listening because you need it for diabetes the latter? Yeah, you because I might. I probably seem like a pussy to you, right?

Cate 1:03:57
No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. No, I wouldn't.

Scott Benner 1:04:02
Like, when I start crying in the middle of someone's story, you don't go, Jesus Christ man, tuck your vagina.

Cate 1:04:09
You could probably hear my eye roll from where you are. Yeah, absolutely. Like, somebody

Scott Benner 1:04:13
says something like, thoughtful. Sometimes even I'm like, oh, that made me tear up. Like, that's so nice. And you're probably like, I wouldn't let this guy anywhere near my naked ass. Yeah, right, right. Okay, okay. Do you find me amusing? Yes, you do. Okay,

Cate 1:04:28
well, yeah, I mean, I but like you and I have had laughs during this conversation.

Scott Benner 1:04:32
Oh no, I'm hilarious, but, I mean, I don't know if you, if it's touching you or not, is what I'm

Unknown Speaker 1:04:37
saying. Look, I desired I find you amusing right now.

Scott Benner 1:04:40
So there you go. No, no, no, I'm incredibly funny. That's for certain but only to certain people. But I wasn't certain if you were going to be one of those people or not. And so, like, so you started listening to this because you're like, I need help with my I see people talking about this thing. It helps them with their diabetes. I have diabetes. I'll go use it and make me better.

Speaker 1 1:04:57
That's exactly like that. Is genuinely so I can live

Scott Benner 1:05:02
longer and be unhappy. Yeah, so it

Cate 1:05:05
was like, what? And it wasn't because other people were talking Well, no, I don't think it was that other people were talking about it. I was like, Okay, I really, I've gotten better control over my diabetes, but I want, like, I want to do better,

Scott Benner 1:05:22
like, one more time, yeah, yeah. And then

Cate 1:05:25
so, like, I did a, like, genuinely did a Google search, or, like, looked up on Spotify, because I was like, okay, so podcast, maybe it's something that I can listen to, because I was traveling a lot, and it, like, it literally came up on my pack, on my podcast, and it would have been, I don't even know what the first episode was, well, I'm gonna thank you, but obviously it was, like, it was good and I was okay, so I can continue to do this. So for the most part, like, there are ones where I can't be bothered to listen when you're doing, like, interviews that I really enjoy. The ones that like, like the Pro Series, or, like, the really interesting ones. I listen to the one, yeah, and I'll listen to the one between you and Arden that's coming up, because that's fascinating to me. Like, what she doesn't know, and how you how you guys, like, talk about it and how she starts to understand it, how the how that works. I find that fascinating, so I

Scott Benner 1:06:27
bet you would, yeah, you should see the list she's making. Sometimes it just says, like, I'm like, just write down everything you don't understand. She goes, Okay, money and I'm like, All right,

Unknown Speaker 1:06:37
yes, yeah, yes, art, and why

Scott Benner 1:06:40
is there a two party system in President, in politics? And I'm like, write it down. She's got such a list you should It's fast. It's gonna be great. And by the way, concurrently, I'm also doing one with Jenny, but it's more about diabetes.

Cate 1:06:53
Yeah. See, I love Jenny, so, like, I love when you guys get together. Like, I love that, but

Scott Benner 1:06:59
you love it for you, you don't go, Scott's really shining here. We should send him a

Speaker 1 1:07:03
cookie, yeah, but I think you shine better with Jenny about diabetes. I think because,

Cate 1:07:10
like, there's even just comment, like, even just the offhand commentary, or, like, even just how we know each other, talking about things with Arden and stuff like that. Like, I just like the two of you together, that conversation about anything I really enjoy. I really enjoy that I don't like, whether it's chemistry or, you know, it's just knowing each other and being together, you know, experience. It's just, I think you shine better with with Jenny in your series, so

Scott Benner 1:07:42
I appreciate that. I would, I mean, now I'm telling you I appreciate I'm like, What am I wasting my time telling her I appreciate it for but let me thank you, even though I don't imagine this is going to touch you at all, but you've just unburdened me in a significant way. Okay? Because if you could try to imagine, like this thing that I do, there are people who absolutely love me. There are people who hate me. There are people who think I'm hurting people. There are people who think I'm helping people. There are people who think I'm saving people. Like the gamut of what people who can hear my voice think of me is amazing. None of them are 100% right, by the way. Like they don't really know they don't actually know me. They know this bit of me, right, which is, fair enough, is a lot of me. I really don't hold anything back while I'm talking, but I also don't go into like, if we would have talked more, if this conversation about abortion would have went a different way. I would have told you that I think that politically, I'm pro choice, but I also think that if you think that having an abortion is not killing something, I think you're lying to yourself. I see this thing very down the middle, yeah, and I could argue either side of it. But I also think that might be my personality to some degree too, where I really do value trying not to take a stand one way or the other, and because I'm interested by the conversation. I'm just actually interested, and I care about the people you're interested, and you're like, well, they're secondary to this, yeah, yeah, and so, but anyway, you've unburdened me, because I am never again going to spend five seconds wondering what people think of me. No, you shouldn't, and I'll tell you why, because, in a million No, no, I listen. I don't care what people think of me. If I did, I wouldn't be doing this. Anybody who does this wouldn't be that impacted by I hope that people hear me and know that I'm I'm being sincere and that I really do want to help people and, you know, like, like, all that stuff, like, I hope they hear that. If they don't, there's nothing I can do about it. And I guess in that I don't care what they think of me, that's not why I'm thanking you. I'm thanking you because in a million fcking years, if you told me to write down how everyone intersects with you, Scott, when they listen to your podcast, you. Your answer never would have come up. And now I know that this answer is a real answer. I got to stop wondering what the rest of them are, because I'm never going to figure it out. So I am now done. I will never again wonder what people think of me or why they think it I had a person recently in a public setting stand up in front of people and bad mouth me in front a ton of people, and really just baseless stuff. They don't know me. They purport to they don't. This is not uncommon in my life, by the way, for people to run around pretending to know me and telling people things about me that are just not, not only they're not true, they've literally never met me before. And while, yeah, it's not a, I mean, making a podcast seems fun and but, but, like, so that happens. There's also, right now, someone standing in a Costco grabbing someone with a CGM going, you have to listen to Juicebox podcast that saved my life. So, like, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both. Then you've got tutti and and Joe, and what was everyone else's name on the facts of life. 2d, Joe, Mrs. Garrett. Look at me. George Clooney was on there, but I don't know his name. There was the girl that rode the motors. That was Joe. I don't know anybody.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:10
I don't know I feel like it's probably way before my time.

Scott Benner 1:11:13
Oh yeah, you're young. You never watched the facts of life.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:16
No. Oh my goodness,

Scott Benner 1:11:18
a young George Clooney showed up later in episodes. Not the point. What a handsome man. Still, I

Speaker 1 1:11:24
find the older George Clooney much more attractive, as do

Scott Benner 1:11:28
I, although I'm straight and I'm not interested in having sex with him, but I do think he's getting better looking as he

Unknown Speaker 1:11:33
ages. He ages very well,

Scott Benner 1:11:35
absolutely. Should all hope for it now, not the point. Like Tom Selleck, sorry, no problem at all. You don't look at you there, there was, there was warmth in your voice there, yeah,

Cate 1:11:45
not felt, but yeah, no, because I interrupted you. So I know that you're supposed to apologize, but it's fine. I

Scott Benner 1:11:50
was gonna ask a different question. If Tom Selleck showed up right now and he's like, Yo, give me a roll, you'd be, yeah, or you'd be like, not only to touch on me, absolutely. Oh, Tyler. I'm so sorry. Okay,

Cate 1:12:00
Tyler knows like, like, Tom Selleck came out with a book in the last few months, whenever it was and like it was, like a full on, like I was describing the porn that I would have with Tom Selleck to Tyler in front of his book in a very public setting. So Tyler knows why

Scott Benner 1:12:19
that guy if Tom oko, hold on. Forget all that question. What if Tom Selleck dies? How are you going to feel? No way. Probably

Cate 1:12:26
the same. No, probably the same. Like, it would probably be like, well, there goes an attractive man, and then carry on with my life. I

Scott Benner 1:12:34
Yeah. I would think when they put Tom Selleck in the ground, the last thing to dissolve will be that mustache. I bet you it holds up to the very end. I bet she's a skeleton with a

Cate 1:12:42
it's better like we better see like when the if there is a zombie anything, I hope he's just a skeleton

Scott Benner 1:12:49
with his with a fucking absolutely listen how he

Cate 1:12:55
was never a firefighter. I have no idea. But before you let me go, because I know that this is getting long, I do want to say, I also want to confirm your views on abortion is actually how I think it should be. Okay?

Scott Benner 1:13:09
Well, great. Now you agree with me. Now everybody's definitely going to hate me, no,

Cate 1:13:13
but like, I that's what it's supposed to be that. But that is what pro choice is, right? It, it's at the end of the day, it's so that you should a woman should have autonomy over her own body. It should be her choice. Should you still feel like you're potentially killing something or that you you would want that life to continue and not be aborted? Absolutely, absolutely. But at the end of the day, should it be down to the woman's choice and whether or not that that happens? Absolutely that like that is the point. Nothing

Scott Benner 1:13:48
is as black and white as we would hope for the for it to be, so, whether it's abortion or something else, if you're taking a, if you're taking a black or white side on a, on a, on a topic, that's obviously more great multi dimensional than you're trying to make it out to be. You are. I don't care if it's politics or an argument between two people, or it's the idea about abortion or, you know, electric cars and gas cars, or anywhere in between, if you're taking a steadfast position on a multi faceted idea, as if it's not a multifaceted idea, you are willfully ignoring some aspects of the conversation, correct? Yeah. And so if you're pro choice or pro life, you are ignoring something. And I think an abortion, a pro choice person is is probably having to ignore the fact that I am ending a life. And a pro life person is ignoring the fact that not for nothing, Cayton, and I don't even mean this poorly, but even if I did, you wouldn't give a a person like you probably shouldn't have a baby. No, right? So there we go. Or

Cate 1:14:54
like a person in in poverty who can barely feed themselves probably shouldn't. Have a child, either might not

Scott Benner 1:15:01
be a good time to bring a life into the world.

Cate 1:15:02
You know what I mean? Like, and it sucks. It happens like, it sucks. And you shouldn't have that against you, that bit

Scott Benner 1:15:11
right there, right? Like, using that as an example, if I was a person in poverty and I had no way out, if I make a baby, it's going to blah, blah, blah. Like you can, you can see the, the possible trajectory. Now another person will come in and say, Well, you never know that baby could end up finding the cure for cancer or blah and and also, that's not unreal either. That's also true. And the point is, is that nothing's as simple as yes or no, and that's all, like, I know you got to pick a side because it feels like you need to pick a side because I don't know. That seems to be how we're all wired. Be on it. Be on a team, you know what I mean. But like, once you're on the team, you know what I mean, like, if you love the Baltimore Ravens, God bless you, but Ray Lewis might have killed that guy outside of the bar, you know what I mean. Like, also, I'd like to say I don't think Ray Lewis has ever murdered anybody, and I don't know anything, and I am certainly not. This is for entertainment purposes only, but, like, but stuff, but stuff that you've heard in the world where you're like, I don't know. I'm gonna choose to ignore that. Actually, you brought up Michael Jackson earlier. Let me tell you something. When I put on a Michael Jackson song, I willfully forget that he probably diddled those kids absolutely

Unknown Speaker 1:16:24
he's got snappy songs.

Speaker 2 1:16:26
God damn, some of those songs, some of those songs are so good. And I've heard, by the way, that Eric Clapton said some weird stuff. I literally didn't look into it because I don't want to ruin cream. Okay. Like,

Scott Benner 1:16:41
is he Canadian too, by the way, Clapton, you know, no,

Speaker 1 1:16:44
you know. I actually, I don't think so, but I honestly don't know. But I'm being serious.

Scott Benner 1:16:49
I know there's like, I know that somewhere in the world there's conversations that Eric Clapton has said or done something that one side of a political argument wouldn't like. I genuinely do not know what it is, and would never look into it, because cream was an awesome band, and I don't want it ruined for me. Okay, he's

Unknown Speaker 1:17:08
from the UK, by

Scott Benner 1:17:10
the way. Oh, you're right, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:12
Google is right, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:17:14
Do you see what I'm saying? Like, there's, that's me going, don't tell me all the facts, because I you know Michael Jackson is that's, yeah, I mean, I mean, honestly, what's that smooth, criminal, what a song. You know what? I mean, fantastic. I

Cate 1:17:30
I know it's like, it's on my baseball playlist. It's, it's a fantastic song. It's a great walk up song as well.

Scott Benner 1:17:37
There's no doubt my point is this, I don't care if it's abortion or whatever it is you want to talk about. It's it's not black and white, and we're all ignoring something to come to our own decisions. And that's not for nothing. I do think and be

Cate 1:17:51
able to live with them, like, at the end of the day, that's really what it is. And are

Scott Benner 1:17:55
you okay? Like, do you feel okay with your decision? I

Cate 1:17:57
know it was the right decision, but do I still have like, those lingering thoughts? Are they involved for more what I deprived Tyler of? Yes, like, absolutely, that you care about, but I know that it was the right decision, like I would if I had to do it again, I would do it again. I would never not do

Scott Benner 1:18:21
it. My last question, do you think you're mentally ill? Yes,

Cate 1:18:25
because it's, it's literally diagnosed on paper. So I mean, if you're like, actually looking at the thing, it would say that I had a mental illness, and it's called any social like, that would be there. So factually, yes. Do I think that we're all mentally ill in some way, shape or form? I yeah, I do. I do. I just think I'm a little bit more outside

Scott Benner 1:18:51
of what we expect and what we hope for, yeah, and

Cate 1:18:55
and I am more forthcoming with the information, whereas other people may find it taboo. I'm just more forthcoming with a conversation, so people find it more fascinating and more like a mental illness. But I don't know. I don't know

Scott Benner 1:19:09
if your doctor calls you tomorrow and says, Hey, Kate, found a pill going to make you feel like everybody else. No side effects. It's magic. You take it.

Cate 1:19:18
I would take it yes, because I've been on antidepressants before. I've been on medication before, that changes. That changes the way that your diseases, right? That you can say the same thing for Crohn's, like, it's, I was on an immunosuppressant. I have Crohn's. I was on an immunosuppressant completely. Was like, I didn't have Crohn's, right? So, like, I know what that is. But then you also have to consider that whilst there may not be any side effects in this perfect scenario, you are changing who you are, right? You're not technically genuine. Anymore, or

Scott Benner 1:20:00
is the Crohn's changing you and you're just putting it back? I'm

Cate 1:20:04
not, I'm not on immunosuppression anymore.

Scott Benner 1:20:07
My point is, if the medication is changing who you are, isn't it possible you already changed, and the medications putting you back to who you should have been, because insulin is doing that, right? Yeah,

Cate 1:20:17
yeah. With a lot of stuff to it. I suppose you could argue it in that. Do you know

Scott Benner 1:20:24
what this episode is going to be called, Kate, what the after dark? I'm going to call it after dark more Kate.

Cate 1:20:34
It's an interesting way to think. I, to be fair, I never thought about that on insulin. So that's probably going to be the nugget in my head for the rest of the day. You very much, Scott. But whatever is

Scott Benner 1:20:43
it okay with you if I do what I said about chat, G, P, T, and read it into the end, because you won't be able to hear it. Okay? I just realized I'm gonna pull up Arden's note or Arden's, um, I don't understand list because I've been writing stuff on the I don't understand list two, and I am this is people are not gonna like me, but I don't understand gaslighting like you don't. It feels weird to me that people think that you can say something to them that gaslights them. Oh, but that you're okay with you believe in gaslighting.

Cate 1:21:12
Quickly explain to me what gaslighting is. Again, no, okay, yeah, okay, never mind like, Oh, he's gaslighting me. Oh, so, so isn't it, when they're you're like, You're cheating on me, and you're like, No, I'm not like, I was right, doing blah, blah, blah, that's being gaslighted.

Scott Benner 1:21:29
Isn't it that feels like lying to me. Did it need a new word? Is

Cate 1:21:32
that not light? Yeah. Is it not lying? I

Scott Benner 1:21:35
put it on my list. Wait,

Unknown Speaker 1:21:37
wait on your list. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:21:38
I don't understand a lot of things. Where do you figure out all the I don't understand so much.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:45
I'm excited for Arden, yeah, oh, she's

Scott Benner 1:21:47
gonna be great. We're gonna do an entire, like, big series. And I told her, if people seem interested in it, I'll spin it off into its own podcast, absolutely.

Cate 1:21:55
Because, like, those are the things I find that really fascinating, too. That, like, I don't have a dad, YouTube pinging the fingers, or, like, I don't have a mom. And so it's these people that are like, Hey, this is how you change a tire. And I like, and how people talk in the comments is so fascinating to me. Yeah, like, they're like, and I like, I don't like my dad passed. So, like, I get it, I don't know how to look at foundation issues, like which I learned without them. I don't think if I learned it off a YouTube channel that I would be like super I would be leaving an emotional comment, obviously. So I find it interesting when people get really emotionally invested in in these, in these things that they don't know about and that they've learned I don't know. I think it's neat.

Scott Benner 1:22:40
I swear to God, this, this list is fascinating. It's like, I don't understand money, life insurance, fingernails, I don't fingernails. People who create something from nothing. What do blind people see? Why aren't there more car accidents? How come more asteroids don't hit the planet? Who decided this one, I thought was fascinating. Who decided when the first Monday was going to happen? It's

Unknown Speaker 1:23:03
true, a man did. And I was

Scott Benner 1:23:05
like, he

Speaker 1 1:23:06
also did a 31 day calendar. It was a man. It wasn't a woman. You can tell her that

Scott Benner 1:23:11
my son jumped in. Where does the gas at the gas station come from?

Cate 1:23:15
And why does it change prices five times a day? Tell him that he should put that on his list.

Scott Benner 1:23:21
Well, that's, that's economics, but he and so economics, I don't understand that at all, but, but he really meant, is it piped from somewhere, or is that there a tank in the ground? Like he didn't know. And here's one thing that my kids, I guarantee you, to save their own life, could not explain. Wi Fi,

Speaker 1 1:23:38
oh, so that's my business. That's interesting, fascinating. They

Scott Benner 1:23:42
for love or money. Couldn't tell you what Wi Fi is and how it works. They know what it does. They know why it's important to them. They do not know functionally, how it works. So anyway, those are some of the conversations, really, yeah, it's gonna be great.

Cate 1:23:55
So I would have thought that they would have known what, out of all the subjects that things like that they would know.

Scott Benner 1:24:02
No, they're like little morons. I can't wait to do this. It's gonna be fantastic. And being serious, I think it really highlights all the things that we expect, that other people know, that they have no idea about. But we run around. We run around projecting our own knowledge onto others all the time. Absolutely,

Unknown Speaker 1:24:20
absolutely, yeah, yes, yep.

Scott Benner 1:24:22
I will tell you that I used to think that I couldn't be successful at something, because if it was a thing that people were successful at, someone would be better at it than me like so why would I bother? There's obviously someone out there doing it better, and yet I made this thing. And generally speaking, nobody's knocked me off of this thing,

Cate 1:24:43
this thing. So do you have? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Then?

Scott Benner 1:24:47
No, I'm pretty confident. Now my ego is quite but when I was younger, when I was younger, I just assumed that if it was worth doing, someone had already. Done it better than I was going to do it. Okay, yeah, so, but now I know where I'm at, but I also have metrics and and feedback. Okay,

Cate 1:25:09
so it's, it's you don't have imposter syndrome, because the facts or your metrics prove that you shouldn't be an imposter that you are doing the thing the next

Scott Benner 1:25:19
closest diabetes podcast, to me, is a hobby at best, by downloads. And I'm sure they're doing really well, and they're probably great people, and like, I don't have anything against them. I'm just telling you that the amount of downloads that I do in a month versus what the next closest one does, I make them look like they don't have a podcast. Okay, you know what I'm saying. And so I confident. So there's confidence. It breathes with

Speaker 1 1:25:42
that. Yes, yeah, of course, are you, like, brushing your shoulders off? No, no,

Scott Benner 1:25:47
no, not at all. Like, I just, it's how it goes. Because, again, it's not black and white. There's 1000 things about me, and this thing I'm doing that put the podcast where it's at right, like, I listen. There's no one else. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and tell you you are never again in the history of your life. Going to turn on a podcast that says it's about diabetes and have a type one come on and talk about their feelings about abortion. It ain't happening. So these,

Unknown Speaker 1:26:15
to be fair, we didn't even really talk

Scott Benner 1:26:17
about no we everyone knows how you feel, trust me. We got that all out completely. I just didn't want to spend 45 minutes asking you questions where you're like, No, don't care. Yeah, trust me. The way the conversation went was, I thought, bolstered the topic more than picking through the topic would have okay, if that makes sense. Anyway, cool. Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it. Don't even bother answering. I know you don't.

Speaker 1 1:26:50
Yeah, of course. Thanks. All right,

Scott Benner 1:26:53
hold on a second. All right, guys, it's later in the day, and I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I took the transcript of that exact conversation, I put it into chat. GPT four, oh, and I gave it this instruction. Read this podcast episode transcript, read it completely. The guest is named Cate. I want you to ignore her diagnosis of herself and listen to her describe her personality, then make a psychological assessment of her based on Kate's description of her personality, behaviors and emotions. Here is a psychological assessment of Kate lack of empathy. Kate consistently mentions that she does not feel empathy for others, even for those close to her, like her husband. This is a significant trait in understanding her psychological profile, impulsivity. Kate describes herself as highly impulsive, engaging in dangerous or risky behaviors for the thrill or sensation they provide. This is typical of impulsivity often seen in certain personality disorders, manipulative tendencies. Cate admits to being manipulative, indicating a strategic approach to interpersonal interactions, where she prioritizes, prioritizes her own needs and benefits over others, lack of consideration for consequence, Kate mentions not thinking about the consequences of her actions, which ties into her impulsivity and her sense of, excuse me, invulnerable, in vulnerability or optimism bias, deficient emotional responses. Kate describes her emotional responses as largely learned behaviors rather than genuine feelings. She mimics appropriate social reactions rather than feeling them authentically. Egocentric outlook. Kate often relates everything back to herself and her own experiences, showing a self centered perspective that underlies her interactions and decisions interesting, excuse me, interest in taboo topics. Cate is drawn to discussing taboo topics and finds it and finds pleasure in making people uncomfortable. This could be indicative of a desire to challenge social norms or an attempt to connect through shock value. Now here's the psychological assessment, anti social personality disorder, ASPD. Case, lack of empathy, impulsivity, manipulativeness and disregard for social norms strongly suggest traits associated with ASPD. This disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others, often manifesting in deceitful, manipulative and exploitive behaviors. Optimism bias. Kate exhibits a cognitive bias where she believes negative outcomes are less likely to happen to her. This contributes to her risk taking behavior and lack of concern for her consequences. Emotional detachment. Kate shows signs of emotional detachment where she is intellectually understanding, excuse me, where she intellectually understands emotions but does not experience them in a typical manner. This detachment can lead to difficulties in forming deep emotional bonds and maintaining long term relationships. Impacts on a relationship. Kate's relationship with her husband is. Complex. She acknowledges a different type of affection for her dogs than for her husband, and her interactions with him are often more transactional than emotional. Kate's lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies likely make social interactions challenging. She relies on learned behaviors to navigate social situations which can be perceived as insincere by others. Her personality profile suggests a significant presence of traits associated with anti social personality disorder marked by a lack of empathy, impulsivity, manipulativeness and a self centered approach to life. Her emotional detachment and reliance on learned social behaviors further complicate her interactions and relationships. Understanding these traits can help in developing strategies for managing her behaviors, improving her interpersonal relationships. Now, I didn't ask it this, but I'm thinking this right now, is her personality

Unknown Speaker 1:30:51
indicative

Scott Benner 1:30:54
of a specific trauma? What do you think kids a chance that something leads to something more often than not, they don't directly point to a specific trauma, but rather suggest a complex interplay of various factors, lack of empathy. A significant lack of empathy can sometimes result from early childhood experiences including neglect or emotional depredation, deprivation. However, Kate did not explicitly mention that impulsivity and risk taking, these traits can be linked to both genetic factors and environmental influences, while trauma, especially during formative years, can lead to increased impulsivity and risk taking behaviors as a coping mechanism. Kate does not provide clear evidence of a specific trauma cut event. It's very clear to make sure that it's it tells you like I'm guessing at this, manipulations as a defense mechanism can arise from environments where individuals learn to prioritize their own needs in response to unstable or unsafe surroundings. Trauma might contribute to this, but Kate did not indicate a history of manipulative behavior stemming from trauma. An emotional detachment can develop as a proactive response to trauma, particularly if an individual experiences overwhelming emotions they cannot process. Her description of her lack of genuine emotional response could suggest some form of emotional trauma, but again, she did not explicitly connect this to a specific event. Here it gives us Kate's own words on trauma. It says she mentions having trauma, but does not specifically, but not specific incidents that align directly with her personality traits. And Kate's own self diagnosis leans towards ASPD, which can develop due to a mix of genetic predisposition and environmental factors, including trauma. That's something nature versus nurture. Kate's anti social tendencies and lack of empathy could be influenced by genetic factors, while she does not specifically direct, specifically direct trauma, the development of her personality could be influenced by broader environmental factors, including potentially traumatic experiences, if she may not explicitly recognize or articulate them. Okay? Is there any data

Unknown Speaker 1:33:06
that indicates

Scott Benner 1:33:08
a GLP medication could help her? This is interesting, then I'm done. GLP medications, commonly used for diabetes management, have shown some interesting effects on mental health beyond their primary purpose. However, the data on their impact or personality traits or conditions like those described by Cadiz limited, here's a breakdown of what is known GLP medications. Some studies have indicated GLP medication, GLP one medication, might have a positive impact on mood disorders such as depression, anxiety. This could be due to the influence of GLP on the neuro inflammation, neuro inflammation and neuro plasticity. There have been anecdotal reports of some preliminary search research suggesting GLP medications might help with certain aspects of bipolar disorder. I mentioned that episode during this is what made me ask this, and then research is ongoing into the cognitive and behavioral effects of GLP one. There are indications that these medications might influence brain fluctuation functions related to reward, appetite and possibly even impulse control. There is no direct evidence or clinical trial data suggesting that a GLP one medication could treat ASPD. ASPD is primarily treated through psychotherapy, which medications sometimes use to address specific symptoms like aggression or CO occurring conditions such as depression or anxiety. Anyway, chat, G, P, T, baby, you can have a good conversation with it.

Oh, a huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Don't forget us, med.com/juicebox, this is where we get our diabetes supplies from. You can as well use the link or call 888, 87211514, use the link or call the number. Get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us. Med, a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G VO, glucagon. Find out more about G vo hypo pen at G VO, glucagon.com, forward slash juice box. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com, forward slash juice box if you're living with type one diabetes, the after dark collection from the Juicebox podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more, go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark there, you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. Hey, what's up, everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you wrong way recording.com you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it? You want rob you?