Scott Benner 11/10/22 Scott Benner 11/10/22

#788 Bold Beginnings: Family

Scott Benner 11/10/22 Scott Benner 11/10/22

#787 Big Feelings

Katy has a lot of big feelings.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 787 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's show, we'll be speaking with Katie, who has a child with type one diabetes. And there are some big feelings in this episode, hence the title, big feelings. I almost went with Katie's big feelings. And then I thought, no, no big feelings. It's better, shorter. I like it. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear that Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin? Do you live in the United States of America and have type one diabetes or are the caregiver of someone with type one? If you do, and you are then you should fill out the survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash use box. This will take you fewer than 10 minutes help people with type one diabetes might help you. It's definitely going to help me t one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box the survey takes 10 minutes to fill out. It's easy. The questions are simple. There are about diabetes, you can do it completely HIPAA compliant. Absolutely anonymous T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. You can find out all about the Contour Next One and just buy it online if you want to at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. Great website, all the websites for the for the what do they call sponsors are actually terrific. Tons of information. But this one's next level, there's so much there contour next.com forward slash juice box. Today's show is also sponsored by in pen from Medtronic diabetes, if you want some of the functionality that you've heard about with an insulin pump, but you don't want an insulin pump, you can get it with the in pen from Medtronic diabetes in pen today.com To get started. You may pay as little as $35 for an in pen. I'll tell you more about that during the chat.

Katy 2:26
This is my first time doing a podcast so lying to

Unknown Speaker 2:29
me. No, I'm just kidding.

Katy 2:32
Yeah, you've done like 500

Scott Benner 2:35
You know that the first time I made a podcast, I was recording with a guy who was an American Idol contestant to hell had type one diabetes. And I thought like, I mean, in my mind, I launched my podcast like American Idol was big back then. Yeah. So I started this podcast, I put it up online this little like placeholder episode, like called microphone test or something like that. And then I was getting ready to make my first episode when I when this kid popped up on American Idol. And I like took a swing of getting them on and actually did it. So the very first time I ever recorded the podcast, that's who I had the interview. So I was nervous. Yeah, but I'm not nervous now. Are you?

Katy 3:27
Um, I a little like coming into it, but I knew it was coming. So I am somewhat relaxed, actually. Which is kind of strange. But yeah, I think I just kind of went into my, my, I take yoga. So I think I went into my, like my yoga breathing and just kind of went into my happy place. My name is Katie. I was born and raised in California. I live in Northern California, the Bay Area. Let's see.

Scott Benner 4:00
I spelled wrong Katie.

Katy 4:03
k, T Y.

Scott Benner 4:06
Four for three days. I look at it on my calendar. And I'm like, let her say her name first in case there's some like, hippie pronunciation here. But you just Yeah, it's caddy. Just kidding. No, no, like, I'm waiting to find out. Sorry, you're the parent of

Katy 4:27
it's actually really funny because my whole life I've always gotten Kathy, Kathy Caitlin. Catherine. And I'm always like, it's Katie. Katie why? But yeah, I got that a lot in elementary school. Okay, so I am 36 years old and I have two children and and a husband. I live in Yorkville, California. My kids are Griffin. He's 10 years old and Jackson, six years old.

Scott Benner 5:01
are their names all spelled correctly?

Katy 5:04
So Griffin is GRI FFI en and Jackson, J x o Ed.

Scott Benner 5:12
Are you immune to my sarcasm? Or are you just very?

Katy 5:17
Well, I'm pretty sarcastic myself, Okay,

Scott Benner 5:19
well, you're hitting me back when I say, All right, well, then I'll be careful.

Katy 5:23
I was born, I was raised in a pretty sarcastic family.

Scott Benner 5:27
I like that a lot. Which one of your children has type one.

Katy 5:31
So my older son, Griffin, he has type one diabetes. And he also has celiac. And he has, he's got a lot going on. Also some anxiety that we've been dealing with as well. But I'll try to stay just on the type one for the most part. So he was diagnosed when he was three and a half years old. July 11 2015. I was, I was eight months pregnant with his brother Jackson. And we had actually just had the baby shower for Jackson. I think it was two weeks prior to the diagnosis. And what happened was Griffin was he was very healthy for the first three and a half years. Hardly ever even got a cold. You know, I remember being around other families and their kids would sniffle and have a runny nose and all of that. And I felt kind of, you know, sort of like, you feel sort of proud. Yeah, absolutely. You're just like, well, I'm, I must be doing something right. You know, I breastfed I did not have an epidural with him.

Scott Benner 6:59
I don't know, weak children who pick up colds.

Katy 7:03
I just, you know, it's interesting, because your perspective, it changes so much. But yeah, I felt really good about it. But you know, what's interesting as well is that I remember, like, probably a few months before his diagnosis, having this kind of just like, odd feeling that

Unknown Speaker 7:28
I remember thinking, God, he's so healthy. He's so you know, like, it's like, everything's to so good with him. So,

Katy 7:36
he just does so well. He's so strong. And, and I remember thinking in my mind, like God would if something happens, like you got some childhood illness or something. And I thought, oh, that's just my mind. You know, just put that somewhere else.

Scott Benner 7:52
Like that happened to you with any frequency or was that a one time event, it was

Katy 7:58
kind of a one time thought it and sort of put that aside and, but I also do have, I have anxiety myself, I also have PTSD. So I have some things going on, within myself. So I do tend to worry a lot. So that wasn't like totally out of the norm for me, but it was kind of odd like it. It's always stuck with me that I had that that sort of feeling. But then so moving forward. You know, everything was going relatively well with my second pregnancy. And you know, I'd gotten over the morning sickness that I went through that with both of my babies. And so, you know, we're in the second trimester and getting into the third and feeling good. Um, he got croup kind of out of nowhere. And so you know, that's in the respiratory so he was really having a hard time breathing. I, I woke up in the middle of the night to him kind of gasping for for a breath. And I ran into his room and I was able to, like kind of soothe him and calm him down while I talked to the nurse brought him to the doctors, they gave him medicine for that. I think it was an oral steroid, of some sort. But anyway, so we took care of that and he seemed to be getting better. But I would say within about a month, I noticed weight loss could not stop drinking water. Ira remember at one point catching him in the bathroom, drinking out of the sink, and then excessive wetting the bed like I mean to To the point where I would have to change a bed twice in one night. So it was in he's kind of he kind of had had that going on he, I mean, he was three years old. So it wasn't, like, really out of the ordinary to wet the bed. But this seemed to be, you know, this was like alarm, it was more of a red flag type.

Scott Benner 10:27
Right? What did you so what did you do at that point?

Katy 10:31
So I, I remember, just kind of like the dot started to, you know, or, you know, I was starting to sort of like, connect these dots, but I did not know anything about type one diabetes. Now, I know that it is in the realm of autoimmune diseases, which auto immune diseases do run in my family, really, but I did, yes. But I had no idea what I knew there was different kinds of diabetes. My sister had a friend that was diagnosed at 17, that got very sick. So I knew that he had, the more serious, in my mind, it was the more serious one. And even though they're both serious, and so I knew there was like, one that was a bit more treatable, and one that was just like, you know, that was the more like, whoa, Steel Magnolia, you know? I understand. So I was like, you know, I, yeah, so I wasn't even going there. Because I really knew nothing about diabetes, no one in my family has diabetes. And in my husband's family, his father had type two, but it wasn't really talked about much. So nobody ever talked about what the symptoms were. So we, I, sorry, I, you know, I'm talking to my husband. And I remember talking to family members and people, you know, around Griffin, and just saying, like, this is odd. I talked to my mom on the phone. And you know, I'm, I'm a little concerned. And this just seems really weird. Like, why is he you know, and also he was very, he was starting to get very, like irritable those last days before the diagnosis. He was like, just not himself. And I was like, losing my patience. I remember at one point, I had to stop and buy him new shorts at a store, because we had gone to the park. And he'd went through everything in the you know, there were standing urine in his car seat, like when I took the car seat out. So it was it was pretty overwhelming. And so I talked to my dad the night before he was diagnosed. And I remember saying, like, these things are all really odd. And my dad, you know, is trying to make me feel better. And everybody's trying to make me feel better. And they all know, I worry a lot. So everybody's like, it's okay. He's just, you know, he's, you know, you're about to have a new baby, you know, there's all these things happening, like, you know, whatever. So

Scott Benner 13:15
a bunch of stuff that doesn't really say why we would pay for themselves over and over again and drink out. Yeah. It makes you feel better in the moment.

Katy 13:26
Yeah, but I my gut inside, like something I knew something was off. So we go to the fair on Saturday, and we're going to try to make Griffin feel better. And because we had gone to bear the year before he had so much fun. So we're like, this is going to be so fun. We bring him to the fair, we figured that'll cheer him up, we get an ice cream. And you know, oh my god, hindsight, I'm not a good, not a good call. We're trying to make him feel better. And he just was extremely lethargic. Like, couldn't even get out of the stroller. His eyes were all red underneath. He was looking very, he just was not looking good. I mean, now I look back on the photos and stuff. And it's, you know, it's hard to look at them because I can see how sick he was. But at the time, you know, I've got a big baby bump. And I've got a million things on my mind. And but that is kind of running in the back of my mind is like, Huh, what are these in? I'm trying to put the thing, you know, put the whatever together. And so I finally just, you know, I said mom, I think maybe because my my mother was there with us. I said I think maybe this is Do you think maybe it's a kidney infection or a bladder infection? I don't know. You know what it could be? Yeah. And my mom's like, I don't know. And I said, I'm gonna call the vice nurse right now. Like because I just Yeah, so I call the vice nurse standing in the middle of the fair. And I just, you know, I start saying the symptom gyms and the advice nurse. Their first response, you know, was, okay, well, let's Okay, these symptoms you have let's, let's get him in here tomorrow. So this is on a Saturday, he said, let's get him in here on Sunday at 11 o'clock. Let's get him in your, let's run some tests. And that's okay, that does that sound good. And I just right before we hung up, I go, I want to talk to an ER, Doctor, I want it please connect me to the emergency room department. I want to talk to someone else. So we got a an ER doctor on the line, and I was able to explain the symptoms. And that person, say, you know, that saved my son's life. He immediately said, Ma'am, we need you to get in the car. Take off, you know, like, just you'd need to get in a car right now. Have someone else drive if you need to. You need to get your son to an emergency room immediately. If he starts vomiting in the car, do this, this and this, you know, basically just like you gotta go now right? And I all he said was it sounds like it could be his blood sugar. And I don't know anything about that. So I my first instinct was the movie Steel Magnolias where she's shoving the straw in Julia Roberts mouth. So I'm thinking oh my gosh, does he need sugar? Is he is he is this low blood sugar? That's how little I know. Oh, really? Yeah. So I'm like, giving him more candy on the way to the hospital. And he's literally like going in and out of it. And and I'm like, have the gummy bear have the gummy bear? Because I that's this is what that's why I'm doing this podcast because I knew so little and because so many people know so little. And you know if I can at least like reach one person, then I'm, I'm happy with that.

Scott Benner 17:06
Katy. I wish. I wish I was there at that moment. Because what I would have said to you was Do you remember when? When Julia Roberts that little movie called Pretty Woman? I would have said to you do you really think that's how most hookers lives go? And she would have said No, probably not. I would have said Yeah. Right. Because movies are fake. And yeah. Right. And they're, and maybe we should listen to them by now. Oh, my God. So I have a ton of questions can can we wait a second? Let's let's put a pin in the car. I'm gonna draw a picture of a car and a candy wrapper so I know where we're at. And, and I want to go back and ask a number of different questions. So first other autoimmune issues in your extended family.

I'm ready, I'm ready. Here we go. Why are you using a blood glucose meter? That sucks? Why do you have a junky janky? Not accurate meter in your pocket or your bag? Why is your kid walking around with a meter that you can't trust? Have you looked into what accurate is where you get it from? What brands are best? I know you haven't. It's okay. That's why I'm here. I'm here to help you. I'm here to move you in the direction of the Contour. Next One blood glucose meter. You want easy to use, easy to carry able to see at night, a screen that is visible and accuracy. As a bonus with a Contour. Next One blood glucose meter, you get second chance test strips. Meaning if you should touch the blood, and like I don't know fumble around or whatever happens. You get some blood on the strip, but not enough. You go back and get the rest without impacting the accuracy of the test strip. We're wasting one second chance test strips. So what are you getting with a Contour Next One blood glucose meter, you're getting something that is so karibal Small enough to put it anywhere, but large enough that you can handle it well. A screen that you can view easily. And a nice bright light for nighttime viewing. And if you want to connect it to the app, you can and if you don't want to use their app, you don't have to but the apps helpful keeps a bunch of your information in there at you'll figure it out contour next one.com Ford slash juice box head over there. Now you can actually buy the supplies and the meter online for much less than you expect. There are links right on the website. And those links say it's going to be hard for you to remember what it says By now it says buy now in case you want to buy it right now. You click on that. You're looking at links for Amazon Walmart, Walgreens, CVS Kroger, Meijer target and Rite Aid just like that thing. bang, boom, you could probably have it done. Before I get on talking contour next one.com forward slash juice box, get yourself an accurate meter, please. You're buying one anyway, you might as well get a good one. All right, you want to dosing calculator, you want to know how much active insulin is remaining, you want to be able to see your glucose history reports, activity logs, dosing history, and a history of your meals. But you're using an insulin pen. So you think, Well, I can't I can't get that because I don't have a pump. But you can, you could get that with the ink pen from Medtronic diabetes, because in pen is connected to an app that shows you all of those things, including your current glucose. Ah, now you're interested, you're like, How could that happen? Well, you should go over to in pen today.com. To find out more. Once you're ready to try, just fill out the sheet there. It's like name, address, phone number, column, you know, a couple things hit submit, boom, you're on your way, then you get yourself an insulin pen that does more. In pen also has 24 hour Technical Support hands on product training, and an online educational resource. Did you know you may pay as little as $35 for an implant? Well, that's true because that Medtronic diabetes, they don't want cost to be a roadblock to you getting the therapy that you need. So with the implant access program, you may pay as little as $35 offers available to people with commercial insurance terms or conditions apply, of course, but it's very, very possible that this will be the case. So if you're looking for a lot of the convenience that comes with an insulin pump, without having to have an insulin pump, you're looking for the in pen from Medtronic diabetes in pen today.com. To get started in pen requires a prescription and settings from your healthcare provider, you must use proper settings and follow the instructions as directed. Or you could experience high or low glucose levels for your sick. For more safety information, visit in Penn today.com. I might just bleep that out. I just can't put I see this so much. How can I get that wrong? All right. Sorry, back to Katie. If you're looking for ways to support the podcast, clicking on my links for the advertisers is huge. So there are links in the shownotes of your podcast player links at juicebox podcast.com, where you can just type into your browser, the way I say it, like in pen today.com That's me write contour next.com forward slash juicebox. That allows them to know you came through me if you end up buying some test strips or a meter or anything else. They know their advertising is reaching you through the podcast. And that keeps the podcast plentiful and free for you. So I appreciate it when you do that.

Katy 22:51
Yes, my mom has rheumatoid arthritis. diagnosed, diagnosed I think late 30s, early 40s. But it didn't really kick in until like her 50s. And then I have a sibling that has an autoimmune condition as well. I would say it but I don't know. She's comfortable with me saying it. So it's just kind of like, Yeah, but so yeah, um, she's got an autoimmune condition. My mom has an auto immune condition. And then my grandmother has hypothyroidism. And so does my aunt. And I believe my great grandmother had Ra's. Well. And, you know, I don't I don't know anything on my dad's side. My dad was adopted. So I don't know his blood, like the blood history with him. My dad doesn't have anything autoimmune. So I'm thinking it comes more from my mom's side. And more from my side, you know, whatever.

Scott Benner 24:07
Right. Yeah. All right, twice. Yeah, your sisters that we're not going to say and to hide. Yeah, right. So do you have anything besides the anxiety?

Katy 24:17
Not that I know of. Yeah, not that I know of, but just really? Yeah, a lot of anxiety, a lot of anxiety. I was in a car accident when I was in high school, and I think that sparked up PTSD and anxiety. And then I went on that whole journey.

Scott Benner 24:36
I asked you prior to the car accident, did you ever feel that way?

Katy 24:40
No, not really, how are you very, I was 15.

Scott Benner 24:45
Okay. And so when you say I don't know anything about PTSD, but is that a diagnosable thing? Is that something that a therapist has said, Do you have PTSD? Oh, yes. Yeah, yes. And yeah. And how does that how does that continue to impact Your Life.

Katy 25:01
Um, it impacts that all the time triggers, there's certain things that just can trigger you smell a song. I mean, it could be, it could be anything, really. So it's like learning to identify what the triggers are, and how to how to better react to the situations, which, you know, it's hard because over the years, other things have happened like Griffin's diagnosis that definitely piled right think there was some serious PTSD after that, Oh, absolutely. Because, you know, being pregnant and the hormones and everything, and then to already have an underlying anxiety. And then have, you know, this, you know, I mean, when it happened, and we got to the ER, and, you know, he goes, we have a problem, a big problem. Your son's diabetic, I just remember the whole freak, the whole world just crashed down in that moment, and everything just started going in slow motion. And then there was doctors everywhere, and people everywhere. You know, he had a really high blood sugar, it was nine 960

Scott Benner 26:17
Do you manage your anxiety with any medication or other things?

Katy 26:23
So I do take medication, I've, I've kind of been on and off of it throughout my 20s and 30s. I didn't take any medication when I was pregnant with my children, I, you know, wanted to be all natural during that time. And, and I've tried to, you know, I've tried to I've tried not taking medication, I've kind of done both, but it's, uh, yeah, you know, it's really about finding like the right medication that is, you know, that you, you should or shouldn't be taking, and working with the right, Doctor and psychiatrist and therapist. And that was, you know, that's a journey that took a long time to, to kind of figure out and, but I work with some really amazing people. And I think that that, that helps a lot.

Scott Benner 27:16
Excellent. Excellent. Now, you said you thought that Griffin had anxiety as well, when did that pop up? For him?

Katy 27:26
Um, I have noticed it. Really, more. So in the past, I would say four years. So four years ago, my husband's father passed away of a heart attack, it was sudden it was fast. And Griffin was there when my husband got the news. And that was quite traumatic. You know, seeing your dad get that news on the phone. And then the next year, our beautiful dog that we've had for 10 and a half years, Marley, Australian Shepherd, she got a she, she had an issue with their ACL, we bring her to the vet, the vet says she's got cancer everywhere. And within two weeks, she was she passed away. And she was like the the dog that we took everywhere. So that was like the heart and soul of our family and, and my father in law. So those two sudden losses were also really big. And then his school closed, and then the pandemic happen and California wildfires, just all this stuff. And I think all of that has definitely contributed a lot to kicking into anxiety. So I see it because I have it I think I'm able to see more. In Him

Scott Benner 28:54
in present day, how does that impact them day to day? When you say you see it? What do you say?

Katy 29:00
Um, well, he we're working with a neurologist right now at UCSF because he's kind of developed a bit of a tic. So he has little tics with his hands. And he's a brilliant, brilliant artist. He's been making art since he could literally pick up a cran or start making little sculptures and things and he just loves to do art. It's frustrating for him because when he does art he takes a lot and I think I you know I think it's part of it's like that he's hyper focused. And he gets frustrated. He's like, Mom, why do I have to tick so much when I when I'm doing this? But yeah, we the way the neurologist is approaching it is to try to Start with the anxiety and go from there because really at the root, typically is anxiety. So, you know, we're trying to go from there. So she hasn't given him a formal diagnosis, but she's seen it and so she's, you know, seen it in person. And she, you know, she agrees that it does, it seems like it very well could be a tic disorder. But until we really like treat the anxiety more, you know, it could be something that'll get better as he gets older.

Scott Benner 30:41
Can I ask you if you ask him about it? Like, does he have like a conscious idea that he feels anxious?

Unknown Speaker 30:50
Um,

Katy 30:53
yeah. He, he has Yes, he is told me he has anxiety. He

Scott Benner 30:59
worries about things or feels pressure pressure about stuff. Okay. All right. I understand. Okay, well, what a fun detour. Katie. Now let's

Katy 31:11
everything. Everything was like going really well to like, be right before he was diagnosed. It was like, we were like, on the upswing. It was like,

Scott Benner 31:21
let me let me tell you that. Just a couple of weeks before Arden was diagnosed. We had just had this big birthday party for Arden. We had bought a house in the last two years. Our son was awesome. Our son was going away to you know, kindergarten. And baby, we had enough money to rent a pony for Arden's party to walk around in the backyard. We got I love it. Like we felt like we were doing something, you know, and, and I had the same feelings as you did, you know, like everything was just exactly the way I expected it to be and was moving in exactly the direction I had intended to Kelly's Yeah, like full steam ahead. Yeah. And then I was just like, whoa, wait a minute. And then all this just happened? It's, uh, it is definitely shocking, that that's for certain. So you're in the hospital. He's diagnosed obviously. He's in DKA. I'm guessing. And, and then it's a Jesus three and a half years ago, right. So,

Katy 32:27
um, so Well, he was three and a half,

Scott Benner 32:30
six, six and a half years ago, excuse me seven years this July. Right? And so you leave with some reasonable gear, I imagine.

Katy 32:39
So we go to the hospital, were there for five days. And, you know, learning how to take care of our son. There's people coming in and out of the hospital room all day. Were you in the hospital for more than a day with our five, five days? Yeah. Yeah, we had Yeah, it was five days Children's Hospital. And, by the way, Oakland Children's Hospital was amazing. I mean, the nurses in there. Like, they were like angels. But you know how it is in in the children's hospital, you got people coming in and out of that room all day long. So you're exhausted. You're not sleeping, and you know, you're on your phone googling what this is? What is this? You know, that, you know, the doctors are telling you. You know, I remember when they right before they transferred him over to the Oakland Children's Hospital. They said we're going to have to first they were going to take them on an air flight. They were going to like fly them over. But then they were able to stabilize them enough that they go, Okay, we think we can just bring him in the ambulance. I'm like, Oh, you think you know, you know, and the doctor in the ER is going well, we worry about things like brain swelling, and you know, and I'm just your head is spinning. I mean, at least I know, for me, it was my husband went into kind of the gotta fix it mode, you know, right off the bat, and I went into the just heartbroken mode pretty quickly. Um, so I would say it like sort of like hit me first. And it kind of like hit him later.

Scott Benner 34:24
what point did you think I had this thought earlier? Like, I thought something because I'm just trying to mix your anxiety with the thought earlier than something everything was going to Well, which by the way, I do think is is that OCD or there's something about the expect?

Katy 34:45
You don't? Well, I It's funny, so I I've always been under condition that I have OCD, but I'm actually working with a trauma therapist and we're are uncovering the whole PTSD thing. And she basically is explaining it to me that OCD, anxiety, depression, like all these things can kind of fall under the umbrella of PTSD. So, you know, she's like, I'm not fully convinced that you are 100% Habits B, although, I don't know, because I'm pretty sure my grandmother will actually I mean, let's be honest. My grandmother, she's undiagnosed. I think she's also undiagnosed. Some other mental illness as well, like maybe bipolar or borderline personality. I don't know exactly. She never got care. But she had. She did things that were not. She did things that were like textbook. OCD. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 35:50
in OCD, there's an i My understanding of it's going to be limited, but there's this magical thinking concept, that your thoughts make things happen. And so that's why I was wondering if you're, you're laughing Am I Am I getting to something now?

Katy 36:08
No, no, yeah, it's, that's, you're right on.

Scott Benner 36:10
Okay. All right. So then the way it then burdens people is that they tried to have these, these good thoughts, like thinking the right things, the right things happen. I was just wondering if you know, because you would have an idea prior when your kids were little and everything when Griffin was little, and everything was going so well. And you actually thought this is going so well. Something bad's gonna happen. When something bad happened. Did you think that you made it happen with your thoughts? No, good. All right.

Katy 36:41
I was able to like differentiate. Luckily, I started going to I put my button therapy in my 20s. Because I realized, I realized after I had my first child and went through some postpartum anxiety, so I know, it's like, there's postpartum depression. But there's also something called postpartum anxiety. People don't talk about it as much. But so it's really easy for everyone to go, Oh, she added postpartum depression, it's, you know, I was not thinking about harming my children, any of that. And there's nothing wrong with postpartum depression. It's very serious. Yeah. But that's that wasn't it, I was more like, I was highly anxious all day, every day, like so worried I was gonna just like, I was gonna mess this up somehow this perfect porcelain, you know, little angel, that I was going to somehow screw this up. So, you know, that's when I really went in and got the, the anxiety diagnosis, panic disorder, like, because I was I was experiencing like, full blown panic attacks at that point. So I went in and got got support, which I'm really grateful that I knew enough to know. I don't want to, I think part of it was seeing my grandmother, how

Scott Benner 38:07
I'm dying to know what your grandmother did. I figured she shot like, a, like, a porno in the mall or something like that. When she was

Katy 38:13
no, she's hot. So she's my mom's from Michigan. My grandmother is extremely, like highly religious, but to the point where it's not. It's definitely not normal. She's like, Catholicism is everything. And like, she would write us letters when we were little. And, you know, tell us we needed to be nuns and priests and, you know, and then when, when we became of age, you know, where we were, you know, dating and getting married. And, you know, she would send letters, you know, telling us that we need to be, you know, you must wait for marriage and you must do this and you must do that just very inappropriate grandmother talk

Scott Benner 38:54
that's kind of her magical thinking, right? She that she thinks the universe has rules. And if she doesn't follow them Yeah, she'll be exactly it will be judged poorly. And part of that following it is making sure that everyone she has sway over gets told what she knows is true. Yes. Where she'll be judged for not telling you I get the whole thing. Okay, I got Yeah.

Katy 39:16
Yeah, she's worried she's gonna go to hell,

Scott Benner 39:19
your grandmother, your grandmother's way of being was so off putting to you that you put yourself into therapy because you're like, I'm really is that well,

Katy 39:31
I think I just saw, like, how unwrapped like just just how abnormal her behavior was, and that, you know, she would write excessive letters to my mom and to all of us and just always pushing religion and

Scott Benner 39:48
for clarity, you're not just talking about like, she's religious or believes very firmly. You're talking about something that that seemed over and above and oh wait,

Katy 39:57
we are in bye bye. I know people that are very religious and they'll make you feel. Okay. Yeah, no, this was this was on a level where the red flag came out. You know, as a child, I remember thinking, she's a bit different. You know? She's a little different. Yeah, I had an outdoor wedding. And like, my grandmother wrote me countless letters telling me that it was an abomination. You know, just to be outside and married. Yeah, because it wasn't in the church. It makes sense to me.

Scott Benner 40:32
When you were little your mom let these letters get to you.

Katy 40:36
Unfortunately, yeah. I wouldn't. I don't think I know. I know. Right? Right. Yeah. Um, you live in you learn, you know, and I don't blame my mom. My mom is she's amazing. And, you know, it couldn't have been easy. Having having a controlling mother like that. Right?

Scott Benner 40:55
Right. Yeah. This is, may I say, I, this phrase means so much to me anymore. I'm just gonna write down. I've been it's just 3443 First time Scott says this is quite a show.

Katy 41:16
Oh, my goodness. No, don't be fooled though. Like I have I had so many wonderful things in my life.

Scott Benner 41:21
We'll get to them. But first, how did you get that husband American you? Did you keep all this a secret or it was?

Katy 41:28
Well, he definitely has his he

Scott Benner 41:33
found a puppy with one weird eye too. And you were like, hold on a second. he'll accept one crap.

Katy 41:41
He comes from He comes from a different upbringing, where nobody talks about things, it's more quiet. Things are under the surface. And he definitely there's definitely mental illness in his family as well. So and very much like some of some, some of them undiagnosed. You know, I wish they were diagnosed. But yeah, so there's definitely stuff skeletons in that closet too. I'm

Scott Benner 42:17
so happy I started a podcast, this is like, talking to you is gonna be the best part of my day. Because I just think that, you know, you talked about his family, nothing gets said, etc. In your family way too much. Oh, yeah. But in my family, specifically Kelly's quieter and more to herself, because she grew up sort of Catholic and like, we'll just, you know, pretend things are okay. And I'm obvious. I think this should be obvious to people listening. I'm excessively happy to talk about anything constantly.

Katy 42:50
I just think yeah, like, let's, let's put it all on the table.

Scott Benner 42:53
Yeah, let's just keep pushing out till there's nothing to hide. And then we'll see what happens. Right. You know, I mean,

Katy 43:00
well, yeah. I think when you're around, like I know, when I'm around my husband's family. You know, there's been a lot of times where it's just, it's so quiet. It's like a nice, like, you could hear like a pin drop on the ground. And I just want to, I just want to go hey, can we all just like, let's get the elephant out of the room. Like, you know, this person doesn't like that person. And that person doesn't you know, it's just like, come on, like, I don't know, I just have gotten to a point where I just I'm just spread I want to address things in my life. I don't I don't want to skirt around. The obvious.

Scott Benner 43:45
So wasted time is a pet peeve of mine. I don't like wasting time. It makes me right, like really upset. And it just I know I look at myself in the mirror. If there's no way I'm one of those people who's going to make it to 87 you don't I mean, like I need to live right? So I don't like wasting time. I don't like wasting other people's time. I don't like other people wasting my time. But more importantly, if you want to know what makes me mental, it's when you know something. And I know something. I know that you know it and you know that I know it and yet we pretend that nobody's aware of it. That makes me want to just strangle somebody. So

Katy 44:26
I Yeah, it's and that's one I really struggle with. With Yeah, just certain people in my life.

Scott Benner 44:35
Are you paying your water bill while we're doing this? What are you doing over there? Oh, sorry.

Katy 44:39
I was like stalking. I was like, you know, when you take papers and you like you make them all like in what? Never mind?

Scott Benner 44:44
No, no, I don't Katie because I don't have whatever you have. So I'm not sure what that is. It's a stack. Your bet your desk looks better than mine. Yeah, yeah. I bet yours is nice and clean compared to Mind

This thing's not even, it's not even helping you keep your desk clean. What a waste. Worse kind of anxiety at least put it like stick it on the house, you know what I mean? Or something? Wouldn't it be great feeling through a tunnel right now? Okay. And, and stacking paper. So. Alright, so So Griffin's diagnosed. And, you know, let's talk about diabetes for a little bit, just you know, because these podcasts and maybe somebody's interested. How did you find management of this thing? When you had this anxiety going? Was it and a new baby, right?

Katy 45:45
Yes. So I'm sorry, his Dexcom keeps keeps alerting me my husband's.

Scott Benner 45:52
Do you see? Or do we need to yell at him?

Katy 45:56
Yeah, no, no, no, he's Yeah, I asked him to make sure to to be in contact with the school nurse. Um, so

Scott Benner 46:07
are you able to look at it knowing that your husband is looking at it? Or is that too much?

Katy 46:12
Typically know, like, I typically I want to look at it, but I saw it before. And like, I know that he's due paying attention to it. So I know it probably he's probably already had his correction, but it probably just hasn't come down. All the way

Scott Benner 46:26
you're now making, you know, making me think that I haven't seen artists blood sugar in hours. And you You made me want to go look. So open here. 111 is a little weird drop. And now it's, I'm gonna guess she ate something? She did? I don't know what but she had a little something. Okay. Yeah, I just I recognized that I hadn't seen art and sculpture in a very long time, just not what you said that. And so for me, not that this might break through your thing. But I just set the alarms at places where I know it won't get too out of hand before alarm. And that way, if I don't hear the alarm, I know we're in that range. And that keeps me from thinking about it. But

Katy 47:10
right. Yeah, that's a really good idea.

Scott Benner 47:12
Yeah. So just if it's, like, my phone's at 120 and 70. And I don't hear a beep. I never, I never think about diabetes. I just let it I let it ride in there somewhere between 70 and 120. I mean, you have to be able to do that first, obviously. But the idea the idea there is the idea there is that if your alarms at 180, or 200, you're always wondering if you're on your way to 180 or 200. Instead of just you know, anyway, yeah, no, that totally makes sense. Yeah, if it works, feel free to use it.

Katy 47:52
I've gotten, I've gotten a lot of great information from listening to, to your episodes, I haven't listened to all of them. But I listened to quite a few of them. And it has helped a lot.

Scott Benner 48:06
I'm very glad I always I used to worry in the beginning because there was this kind of section of vocal people online who would say that you can't talk about doing something and talk about how it's going well, because for people who it is not going well for you'll make them feel badly. But I never believed that. I always thought that that modeling was important. And so and so I'm glad to hear that you've enjoyed it. That's excellent.

Katy 48:32
No, yeah, absolutely. So when we got, you know, we get home from the hospital, and they give us these giant bags of supplies, and we leave the hospital. And I was definitely in a really tough place at that time. I just remember, like, the sky look darker, everything was just like the world, just our whole world looked different. Everything was flipped upside down. You know, and, like, I remember being in the hospital, and they're going okay, like, so you're gonna have to do your first shot today. You know, and it's like, first of how many 1000 It's, oh, because I tend to be you know, I was I would kind of look at the big picture. And I'm like, once I started to learn about what this disease is, and what the, you know, the the prognosis, and just all of it, like the complications that can happen, everything. I really just was, you know, I was in a state of just complete anxiety. And I remember just being like, oh my gosh, like, is he going to have complications at a time? You know? What's gonna happen, you know, and I'm thinking 20 years down the road. I'm thinking five years down the road. I'm thinking, you know, all of that my husband's more of the, you know, he's thinking like, let's just get through today. Hmm, which I admire that about him.

Scott Benner 50:03
I have a question for you. Or your artistic person.

Katy 50:08
Um, I, I am a bit. I tend to be drawn to artistic people. My husband is artistic. My son is an artist, right? So do you

Scott Benner 50:19
want to know I asked? Why? Because you are inclined to write a story about everything. Like in your mind. If I'm so far, by the way, I've known you for 44 minutes and 11 seconds, so I can Yeah, 100% wrong. And I have no medical or mental health training whatsoever. I just have a podcast, but it's, I do recognize a little bit of myself in you, which is it really if I gave over to my bigger flower, you're more flowery? You know, we're melancholy thoughts. I can go in those directions if I want to. And but I know I know how to stop myself from going in those directions. But, but it seems that when these things happen around you, you're kind of like, vortexed sucked into them. Like this, you know, like the you the way you describe the car accident, the way you describe being in the hospital room. You know, it wasn't like, it's almost like you're playing some movie, if that makes sense. Or you see it that way. I guess one or the other. I'm not I'm not certain so far. I am only 40. I'm trying to get to

Katy 51:32
yes. And no, I You're right on. Yeah. Right on

Scott Benner 51:36
i I've told this story on the podcast before, so I'll tell it really quickly. I was, I don't know, eight, nine years old, walking to school one day. And I had recently heard that if you step on the crack, you will break your mother's back. Now this this had been bandied about between the children.

Katy 51:53
And I remember hearing that too, on my way home from school. Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 51:57
So I'm walking to school one day. And then of course, if you've ever seen a sidewalk, there's a crack in the sidewalk about every four or five feet. And then I realized that I, I saw myself I'm like, I'm now not stepping on the crack. And I did think, well, that's silly, this isn't real. And the more I walked, the more I avoided it. And I stopped myself. And I was like, I am not giving into this crap, whatever this is. And then I purposefully stepped on all the cracks, and then came home, my mom's back was intact. And I never thought about it again. But I felt it in that moment. Like, I could give over to this little bit of weirdness and fall and fall into it like a warm bath. And instead, I just kind of decided to go the other way. Do you ever feel it coming on? When you're,

Katy 52:52
that's kind of that's definitely something that you know, that's that's a journey in my life that is is constantly, you know, trying to target when those things are coming on. And, but it's hard, you know, at times you're so wrapped up in the way you feel that it's hard to always see the storm ahead, I guess you would say so you know, sometimes you kind of feel like you're navigating blindfolded a bit but but I do through going to therapy and through kind of like working on myself. I definitely feel like I have more of the tools to recognize things before they happen or recognize things after they happen and look back and go okay, that's how that happens. You know,

Scott Benner 53:44
is it as if you have too many feelings?

Katy 53:48
Probably I remember when I was when I'm a march baby. So I'm a Pisces, which tend to be on the more like, sense. I don't know if you'd say I don't like the word sensitive because it's I feel like it's saying that I'm like, Oh, she's

Scott Benner 54:08
people using the word because you don't think

Katy 54:16
Well, I just okay, here's why.

Scott Benner 54:19
You're gonna need to give me a second that was amazing. You're like I am sensitive to when people call me sensitive because I am not sensitive.

Katy 54:31
Like I kind of Yeah, I know you're kind of right. That kind of Yeah, I know. I first sure like always had my feelings big heart like I remember when I was little my mom just saying you have really big feelings. And I remember I don't remember like, I would just remember how that felt when she said that. So yeah, I've always been like, I would say definitely like super in touch with my feelings. How

Scott Benner 54:56
did you feel when she said that?

Katy 55:00
It almost kind of felt like a compliment to me. So when my mom said that, and she said, it looks like there's a light bulb in your head. Because I have super blonde hair. So I don't know, I felt like it was a compliment. Like you. You feel things? I would really, really? Yeah, I

Scott Benner 55:16
would take it that way as well. I just, I don't know why. I there's a throttle or a limiter on me, like, I know, I know, when I'm like, Oh, God, like this is going too far the other way. And I can put a stop to it pretty

Katy 55:28
quick. That's because you're super lucky.

Scott Benner 55:32
I imagine that really is all it is. Is there times people come to me and they're like, how did you do that episode with this person telling this story or that story? And I'm like, Well, I don't know. Like, I mean, they're right there. They're okay. And even if they aren't, they want to share this. It's, you know, it's there. I'm respecting their, their desire to share the story. Like it just seems like somebody needs to be there to, you know, Shepherd it through to the end. And it is sad sometimes, but I don't know. Like, there is an ability to be dispassionate, but not Yeah, you know, I could go either way. I don't think I could get so dispassionate that I didn't care. But I could care so much that I wouldn't be able to. I could lose myself, I guess if I if I totally allowed myself to anyway, I'm sorry. This is

Katy 56:15
no for sure. Interesting. Um, so yeah, I Yeah, I'm definitely, I guess you could qualify as sensitive. But as far as like strength, I feel like I'm pretty, pretty strong. I've been through some really low lows. And I've been to had some really high highs. So you know, I've been where I feel like I'm drowning. And that's when we came home from the hospital. That's what I remember telling my mom. Because I was, I was very depressed, and just trying to get through our to our, you know, we're writing all the food, and we're weighing stuff, and we're doing and really just living hour to hour, and I still had the baby, I was, you know, 30 weeks pregnant. And I wasn't sleeping, I was just worried sick, big dark circles under my eyes. I didn't have the best support around me. My husband and my mother were like my lifeline. And although some other family members, they definitely had good intentions. And I, you know, I appreciate all the good intentions that people had. But there was definitely certain family members that were not helpful at all. And kind of were the exact opposite. And were very judgmental, and very, you know, just when are you going to snap out of this? Are you going to snap? Yeah, yeah. When are you going to snap out of it? Oh, and then then I found a my mom, you know, I'm talking to my mom, I go, I think I need to find a support group or I need to find someone to talk to I, I said, I just want to talk to another parent that knows how this feels. And so I found a support group, where I live by really pushing the doctors and just like I had to self advocate, advocate advocate. I can't, like stress that enough to people. If you feel like something's not right with your loved one or with yourself, advocate like you have to because no one else is going to do it for you. Yeah. So I was lucky enough to find this amazing group of families. That all had kids with type one diabetes, whether they were my son's age or now in college. All of these parents. It just meeting them changed my life that I remember one of the moms. I talked to her on the phone. This is probably two weeks after his diagnosis. And she goes, Do you want to just come over and have coffee and meet with some of us moms, like no judgment just come over. We know you're in a really hard place right now. I went over that day. And we sat at a table and just all told our story and passed around the Kleenex box and they literally came into my life like angels like it made me believe in angels. One of the moms brought flowers she had picked from her garden and handed them to me the another mom had like baked muffins. It was just I was overwhelmed with with the love that I was getting because I was really in such a deep state of depression and these people around me See that we're not being helpful. We're actually making it worse. So meeting those people and getting into a support group, it literally like I mean, it quite literally changed my life,

Scott Benner 1:00:12
I think, pulled me out. I'm glad I think empathy from a person who actually has your perspective is so much more enveloping than even just, you know, empathy from a well meaning person.

Katy 1:00:25
Yeah, I mean, you know, there is a family member, that, you know, just would have things to say like, you know, when, when are you gonna snap out of it? Have you met your new? I come back from the support group meeting? Have you met your new best friends now? At one point, I'm sitting outside on my patio, just, I'm in tears talking to my dad, like, how am I going to do this, I, you know, I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm scared, like, what's going to happen to him, you know, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, in this family member is, is inside, just, like rolling their eyes at me. And my mom actually, like, caught it happening. And my mom was like, This person needs to not be around you right now. So it was just, it was honestly, it was really challenging, dealing with the component of people in our family with their own mental illnesses, that they're probably not taking care of that were, it was it actually aggravated my journey and my, my, like, kind of wellness in the situation. And when that happens, you really need to be able to be strong, and be there and present for your child. And it's incredibly hard to do that, when you have people around you that are not well themselves, were you

Scott Benner 1:02:02
able to put distance between them. And you.

Katy 1:02:05
I had to start doing that. So my husband and I, you know, really started to back off and, you know, be we started to be because once I, you know, would talk to therapy, you know, there they would be saying, you know, you got exactly distance like you can't, if someone is making you, you know, like they're saying these kinds of things to you. Like that's not okay. Like, you need to not have that around you. Because that's yeah, and they're like, don't apologize for it. Don't feel bad, because that's me. I'm a chronic apologize for. So I'm actually I want to, I want to bring people together.

Scott Benner 1:02:43
Katie, we talked about that before we started talking that you said I'm a chronic apologize, you've only done it once in 56 minutes. Wow. Good job. I thought oh, she's gonna do it a bunch. Here's what I thought if I'm being honest, you'll do a whole bunch. I could teach you about it later, but then you didn't do it. So. And I know teasing someone who has anxiety about their desire to apologize all the time, it's probably not correct. But we're having a fun conversation, I actually have to tell you, as you're talking and in other episodes, I'm really proud of the way that the podcast handles people's really serious problems. You know, I think that if you came on here and started talking about all the things that had gone wrong, or are currently going wrong, or that you're struggling with etc, and that it was just a funeral dirge, and I was just like, oh, my gosh, that's horrible. Okay, you know, like, and I don't know, it would be, it would be unlistenable. And no one would be able to learn anything about it. So, right. I just I don't know. I love it. I love that you're touching that paper. Still. I'm dying to know what you're doing over there.

Katy 1:03:50
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Okay, yeah, that's totally like a, maybe I have my own tip. I'm, I'm so used to holding like, I have this planner. And then I always have to write everything down because my memory is so shot. So I write everything down. I'm like, I got to write down. You know, Okay, I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I'm gonna Okay, take the laundry out. Like, whatever. It's all written down for me.

Scott Benner 1:04:17
Katie, I think you're a lot of fun. I think I'd like to date you for six months. That'd be enough. But oh my god, I think six months we'd have a great time done this enough. Well, what are you know, what are what are your moving forward plans like and do those plans ever worked out? Are you constantly in a state of working on something or do you have goals? How does that all look?

Katy 1:04:51
Absolutely. Um, so after that all happen, and I found the support group that was incredibly helpful. I really started finding the resources I needed and found out about the diabetes Youth Foundation. We took our son in 2017, we took them to bare skin Meadows for a week, which is really amazing. diabetes camp here in California. So we did that. And that was like a total game changer. Just meeting all those families. And I mean, it's like, for one week, you go into a world where you're, you're like everyone else, you know, and there's like an insulin line in the morning. And there's endocrinologist and nurses, and it's really awesome.

Scott Benner 1:05:42
This happens. would Jesus be okay with it not happening in a church? I think Jesus would definitely ask your grandmother.

Katy 1:05:52
Yeah. And you know, the thing about that religion thing that's it's always kind of boggled my mind about that is that my grandmother thinks that if you don't go into church, you're not religious. And I've tried to argue my point with her a long time ago, but I stopped. I realized a long time ago, there was no point. But I tried, you know, just saying, Hey, Grandma, like, for me, like, when I'm hiking. Like, that's my religion, when I'm listening to my favorite music when I'm like, I pray all the time. You do not have to go inside of the building, to be spiritual and to to have faith. You know, you can have faith in an elevator. You can, whatever. So that's what I've learned.

Scott Benner 1:06:38
I'm old Aerosmith song, isn't it? Faith and elevator?

Katy 1:06:42
I don't know. I'm sure there's some cheesy lines that honor His love and an elevator I was I feel like I should write a book with like, just quotes, like, just super cheesy quotes.

Scott Benner 1:06:52
I prefer if you made a movie about your grandmother, but

Katy 1:06:58
oh my god, my grandmother used to drive Raizy like, when we would go to Michigan, she would take us to garage sales, because she loves garage sales. And I just remember being in the back of the car and like holding on to the doors so tight because she would drive like erratic kind of, you know,

Scott Benner 1:07:15
we don't have to pay attention when God's on your side. He does it all for it. Yeah. Right there. Yeah. I love you. I would I would sit and I would watch video of your grandmother writing those letters.

Katy 1:07:27
As long as I would. I mean, she's she's pretty entertaining. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:07:31
as long as the words that she was putting them down, I'd be endlessly fascinated with those letters. Alright, so you see you I'm sorry. You met people. I'm sorry. I'm this is my fault. Now. You, you met people. You head off to the diabetes foundation went away for a little bit found that kind of centering. How and

Katy 1:07:50
then I and then I tapped down a week later. So that was halftones in Yosemite and Burson? Yeah, it's stunning, isn't it? I remember the first time I saw it, I was like, I'm gonna hike up to the top of that thing. And I did. And it was amazing. I did it with my sister. And it was just really awesome to like, show myself that I could do that. And it was really cool to see like people from all different parts of walks of life, like people in their 70s There was a guy that had his, like, 11 year old son with him there was, it was just kind of, like, just so many different walks of life doing that. But yeah, that was that those two weeks were just like, such a healing experience. And then, you know, just I really started to get a lot better and feel a lot better. And, you know, just knowing what my boundaries were with people and I'm just focusing on, you know, just Griffin. And just, I'm so proud of him. He He is amazing. And he, he I feel like could really tell a story someday, too. He's really good. At like, communicating with people, what like the nurse, I've had the nurse the principal, I've had numerous people like at school tell me like your son's really good at like communication. Like he's really good at like, at telling us what needs to happen like with his blood sugar with his with his diabetes or his care or how he's feeling right. And I don't know, I hope that like Navy seeing me kind of do that

Unknown Speaker 1:09:40
a little bit. Maybe. Hopefully we're off a little bit. Yeah. I don't know.

Scott Benner 1:09:46
That's a great skill to have. Just being able to articulate yourself and not being afraid to say it too.

Katy 1:09:52
Yeah, the big one like in front of his class and stuff. I started from kindergarten like I went up in front of his class and just Hey like, I am Griffin's mom, everyone knows me Griffin's mom, you know, you're gonna see me pop in and out. You know, it's Griffin's got little gadgets, he calls them his robot arms. I felt like if you just get it out of the way, like, it's like, it takes the tension out of

Scott Benner 1:10:19
it. That's how I did it for the first couple years when she was little, would basically show up on the first day. And just real quick, tell the kids this is Arden. Art, and she's like you, Arden does this thing on her gives her insulin, you know, she might leave the room once in a while, or go to the nurse's office to do some stuff, and then she'll be back. She's okay. You don't need to do anything. Don't worry, it's not scary, you know, she whipped out her thing and check her blood sugar in front of everybody right away first day, like every once in a while you're gonna see her do this. She did that. There's no big deal there, nothing to worry about. It's all very normal. And then it just became what you set. You know, you got what you expected. You know, you let you lay those expectations out for those kids. And they just, they followed right along with it. So I didn't do it for I mean, trying to think I don't think I did it much past third grade maybe. And then she would just do it herself. The first couple years, that and then it just fell by the wayside. And everybody just knew at that point, it didn't matter.

Katy 1:11:16
Yeah, I really noticed that when I kind of took the lead with that Griffin kind of just fell right into that and was more like, just proud and like, Hey, this is who I am. Like, this is what I you know, he's very much just like, This is what it is. Yeah. And I think that that confidence is so important. And I think he's, he's very lucky to have that competence, because I just know that, like, not everyone has that. And, you know, I've seen people with, with conditions where it's a lot more private and not talked about, and that can be really difficult to hold it all inside, you know,

Scott Benner 1:12:07
yeah, I don't think we should be hiding anything. I don't think people should be forcing us to hide anything. So I'm down with that very much. So, hey, I'm so sorry. Okay, like, I'm gonna run out of time, just because I have to go out with my wife this afternoon and do some like adult things. But I want to make sure that we've gotten to everything that you wanted to, I don't want to, I don't want to leave you feeling incomplete.

Katy 1:12:32
Totally. Um, I think just the main thing for me, is just anybody listening to this, if you're a new parent on the scene, or maybe you're a sibling of maybe you know, maybe your brother son just got type one or maybe your daughter in law or your son in law, whatever it might be. Do some research, like don't be afraid to do your research, maybe read up on it read up on how you can help what you can do. Be active in the in the kid's life, the kid that has t one be active in their life, like don't don't go away and stay away. I've seen family members do that where they they kind of just really back off and I don't know if it's because they're, you know, uncomfortable with it or maybe they're scared of it themselves. But be around the family you know and and just learn what you can and be helpful and and talk about it it's okay to talk about it doesn't need to be this secret you know, thing that you know people don't don't talk about and my Instagram handle is Griffes mama one anybody if they want to go on there and check out my page i don't i i somewhat post about type one but also just my life and my hiking adventures and my just all the things I do for fun and

Scott Benner 1:14:17
spell the Instagram handle GRIFFFSMA M

Katy 1:14:25
A one

Scott Benner 1:14:28
I see a there's another Griffes mom I got there before you

Katy 1:14:33
Griffes mama one at Yeah. I almost said at AOL sorry.

Scott Benner 1:14:39
aol.com And it's 1982 and I want to see the Superman movie with Chris Reeves tonight Oh, look how handsome excellent

Katy 1:14:50
my kids think I'm so old because I was from the 19 hundred's Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:14:54
Oh, you are old so am I but that's not the point. These kids they don't know. They'll know later. We know they get older and the stories they have to tell are about Dua Lipa, then they'll be embarrassed. At least hear stories about the Rolling Stones or the Beatles or guns.

Katy 1:15:10
I love it. Love it. Love all the good music. I am lucky though, in the sense my kids really like all that music a lot.

Scott Benner 1:15:18
I'm glad Mike, my kids have pretty eclectic taste in music. And I've always been happy about that. Just because, right?

Katy 1:15:25
I feel like that's like such a. It's almost like, I'm, I'm really proud of that, that my kids like good music, they don't listen to this, you know, they're not listening to the crappy music, they like the good stuff.

Scott Benner 1:15:39
Turn that off. That horrible, I do my best to listen to what they listen to and try to keep up with it. My son makes it a little harder than Arden does. But I still I've still heard modern music that Cole likes that I've enjoyed a lot. But for sure, but overall, I'm just telling you 50 years from now, you're still gonna know who the Beatles are. And if you'll know who little NAS x is. I'll be really surprised that that's all right, but I won't wait 50 years more, so it's not going to matter. Anyway. It's all just things I say to fill time. Katie was that's all I do. All right, Katie with a Y, I gotta jump. I don't know what to call this one. I'll figure it out. Now, I'll figure it out. It'll be fine. Unless you think of something. My problem is I just put up an episode called a ball of anxiety. So

Katy 1:16:38
I'm sure you'll think of some of that.

Scott Benner 1:16:40
It'll come to me and ambition. I really do appreciate your time. Thank you very much for doing this. Of

Katy 1:16:46
course, I was so happy to come on. In Yeah, just such a pleasure. Thank you so much.

Scott Benner 1:16:53
I'm glad. Alright, first, let's thank the good people at contour next one.com forward slash juice box. That's right Contour. Next One, go get yourself an accurate meter at contour next.com forward slash juice box. Also want to thank Ian pen from Medtronic diabetes for sponsoring this episode, and remind you to go to in pen today.com To get started right now with that insulin pen that has some of the features that you've come to expect from an insulin pump in Penn today.com. Lastly, I'd like to thank Katie for coming on the show and sharing her story. thought she was terrific. And I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're looking for community around diabetes, you really should check out the absolutely free Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. It's a private group, which just means that you're gonna have to answer a couple of small questions to get in. Just you know what kind of diabetes you have stuff like that. And then you're in with 30,000 other people having conversations right now that I'm sure you would be interested in Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. If you're looking for the diabetes Pro Tip series, they're available beginning of Episode 210. In your podcast player, there's a list available in the feature tab of the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group, or you can find them at diabetes pro tip.com and juicebox podcast.com

#786 The Full Irish

Wendy has two children with type 1 diabetes. Her son has other issues as well.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 786 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today is your lucky day, because you're going to hear my conversation with Wendy. She is the mother of two children who have type one diabetes. And one of those kids has a number of other issues including auditory processing, heart issue, and ADHD. It's a great conversation and on top of everything else, Wendy has an absolutely rocking accent. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. If you have type one diabetes, or are the caregiver of someone with type one, and are a US resident, please consider going to T one D exchange.org. Ford slash juicebox. And filling out the survey. That's all I'd like you to do. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Go complete the survey. Take you like 10 minutes. I promise. I'm holding up my hand like I'm like I'm in court. I'm promising to tell the truth. 10 minutes.

Let's thank Dexcom for sponsoring this. Speaking of Dexcom there's one right there. Let's thank Dexcom for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. To learn more and get started today with the Dexcom G six go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox Arden's find or it's just working on a little bit of a low blood sugar here, but it's very steady. She's getting it up on our own. The podcast sorry, is also sponsored by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod five. You can learn more about the Omni pod five and the dash at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box get yourself some tubeless insulin pumping going at on the pod.com forward slash juice box.

Wendy 2:23
My name is Wendy and I'm living in South Carolina. And I have the mother of two type one diabetics. So we're five years into the journey. Both kids were diagnosed within five months of each other in 2017. Wow. Yeah, no family history. I did try illness. I don't even have one marker. Nothing.

Scott Benner 2:47
Huh. That was can we are we gonna use kids names?

Wendy 2:51
Yes, you can. My daughter is Maeve she was diagnosed when she was four. She's nine going on 10 now and my son is aged and he he was diagnosed at seven. And he is 12

Scott Benner 3:07
I got it. Okay. Well, well maybes a really pretty name. Thank you. Yeah, I think might have been on our list for Arden. If I'm thinking

Wendy 3:17
yeah, you know, like I wanted to give my Irish first names. You certainly do. But my my husband insisted that I have to do it in a way that I use the English spelling and not the Irish spelling. Because the Irish spelling would have been really hard for people.

Scott Benner 3:32
Can I ask you why Irish navigating?

Wendy 3:36
I just read a book one time.

Scott Benner 3:39
Listen, if we get through this hour without me asking you to say frosted Lucky Charms They're magically delicious. We're gonna be doing great. So oh my god. That's fine. That's the bar I've set for myself.

Wendy 3:53
Do you know what to do? You know what's really hard for me is Alexa. Like we used to put on lidocaine on the kids for pump changes. And I would get Alexa to set a timer for 30 minutes but because of my accent, it would set it for 13 So now we know that I have to set Alexa for either 29 or 31 minutes because I can't understand it's me.

Scott Benner 4:14
It's amazing. I should complain it sometimes miss those voice assistants misunderstand me. And that's when I realized how poorly I'm mispronouncing words at times where it's just like I don't know what you're saying. And my friends.

Wendy 4:30
Yeah, torching is a big one for me.

Scott Benner 4:33
So funny enough, if you listen to podcasts, I imagine. Oh, yes, I do. Okay, so thank you. I just asked because I mean, the amount of people who are from like Irish heritage or English or that part of the country ish we get around it well and have autoimmune stuff is crazy. So the first question I'm going to ask obviously, is other autoimmune stuff besides type one or no?

Wendy 4:59
Um, No, no. I mean, there's some Pernicious anemia in my mom's family. But generally we don't have we don't have anything on either my side or my husband's side. Nothing but my husband's family is of Dutch heritage. So I think Northern European, there is a high incidence from what I've spoken to my doctor and stuff. Yeah. So I think that Northern European, there can be a greater incidence.

Scott Benner 5:26
Okay. No, I mean, everything I talked about is pretty anecdotal. But keep people keep saying the same things over and over and over again. It's hard not to I mean, you don't have Yeah, yeah. Irish to get type one diabetes, obviously. But no,

Wendy 5:39
no. And I did trial that I have no markers, nothing. So I think with my two, they both had a virus. They both had a virus about eight months before diagnosis, and they ran fevers for multiple days. And hey, presto, diabetes. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:56
Something about you and your husband mixed together, right?

Wendy 6:01
Stubborn genes.

Scott Benner 6:03
You think that your children's immune system is too stubborn to do its job correctly?

Wendy 6:09
Pretty much. It's pretty much it very well.

Scott Benner 6:12
So they were diagnosed? Did you say eight months apart?

Wendy 6:15
No. The one was diagnosed in February. The other was July. So they were really close together five

Scott Benner 6:22
months apart. Okay. Well, I guess tell me about the first diagnosis a little bit.

Wendy 6:29
Um, with Maeve, you know, it was really crazy because I felt like she was coming down with something, but I couldn't just put my finger on it. And you know, I would take her temperature and she was listless. And I think the biggest indicator for me was, she went off for food. And she loves food. She loves anything. And I took her out to, you know, her favorite little restaurant for Chinese. And all she wanted was drinks. And she kept like drinking Sprite. That's all she wanted. She wouldn't even touch the food. So I thought I'll make an appointment with her pediatrician. And then the night before, I remember thinking to a colleague who had a type one son, and you know, you're just lying in bed thinking about it all and all the symptoms were coming to mind. And I said to my husband, I said, I think she has type one. And he was like, no, no, no, don't don't go there yet. Let's wait and see what the doctor says. So Monday morning, we went to the doctor's office. They I told them my suspicions about type one, because of my colleague, and they did a finger stick. And you know, it's not good when the doctor comes in the room, but a box of tissues. Really. So yeah, he actually came in and sat down next to me with a box of tissues in hand. I'm like, okay, I can only this one.

Scott Benner 7:45
I feel like that's a move. Like, I I think that's me. I think that's the doctor trying to get out of being the one that shocks you. So you look at the tissues, and you go, Oh, crap.

Wendy 7:58
Oh, yeah, I saw I saw him. He usually just stands there. He's been a pediatrician all along. But he usually just stands there. And he sat down. What about tissues, and thankfully, she wasn't in DKA. But our blood sugar was nearly 700. So we just went straight to the endocrinology office at the hospital and started insulin that day. She didn't have a hospital stay. She had none of that.

Scott Benner 8:22
But you weren't surprised because you figured it out a few nights before.

Wendy 8:26
I did, because thankfully, because of my colleagues, because I remember him telling me his son had you know, diabetes, and he had to wear this pump. And back then it was too late. And he couldn't shower with it and all this sort of thing. And you know, I remember like thinking, Oh, that's all for but not really thinking much about it. But yeah, yeah, there we go. And then go ahead. I'm

Scott Benner 8:48
sorry. I was just gonna ask, do you think that you used one word when you were describing how your husband responded when you said I think may have had type one? And he said yet so do you think that you had talked him into it as well, but he was just like, let's hold out hope and go talk to the doctor.

Wendy 9:02
Yes, yeah, yes. Yeah, he was he was like, let let's not let's not even you know, put that in our mind yet. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Scott Benner 9:10
Yeah. Yeah. Even though I'm gonna think that you're right, because that all makes sense. And so you know, hospital stay with a 700 blood sugar. How did they manage that?

Wendy 9:21
They, she, she only had anyone see a 9.4. And she wasn't a DKA. So literally, we went into the endocrinologist office first thing in the morning, and they started us on a sliding scale and insulin.

Scott Benner 9:36
How long sliding scale go for before you move to counting carbs?

Wendy 9:42
Um, I think it was probably a month or so. Like, that's, that's the thing is my husband and I are both engineers. So which was handy and not handy at the same time because you know, give me anything to calculate and I love it. But also as an engineer, when you realize A plus B doesn't equal c all the time. It might today but not tomorrow. That's, that's, yeah, that's pretty easy for us.

Scott Benner 10:08
Not a good feeling to build the bridge and have it be three feet shy of the other side.

Wendy 10:12
Pretty much. It's like, it's like, you know, you've trained all your life for this, you're like, great, I have some math to get into. And then once you start, you're like, but what happened?

Scott Benner 10:22
I'll tell you, I, for me, it was just, I just froze. It was I'm the furthest thing from an engineer in my mind. And, you know, I can remember sitting in the hospital and thinking, this is fine. Like, this is just like, you know, simple math. And then I then I just froze, and I started, I started to cry.

Wendy 10:46
There was lots of tears. There's lots of tears. I think I pretty much go into autopilot. When I'm around the kids and stuff like that, but there was a lot of tears at night. You know, when when the kids go to bed? Yeah, I tend to just really, you know, buckle down. And then when it's overweight, and you know, they're all tucked up in bed. It's it's horrible. It's horrible.

Scott Benner 11:07
No, I know, I just, I just couldn't. And my wife, she got rid of the nurse for me. And she's like, This is simple math, you know this. And I was like, what if I do it wrong? Like I just kept thinking, like, if I do it wrong, I could give her too much. Like, that's just how it felt like sitting there that at that moment, she was so small too. But But anyway, so Okay, so this happens pretty horrifying. You only have you just have the two kids, right? There's like not just two. And so at what point in the next couple of months, do you think oh my god agents got diabetes as well.

So I guess you heard at the beginning of the episode that Arden's blood sugar alarmed on my phone. Here's what's going on. Arden is off to college at the moment, and she's got a head cold. She and I actually just spoke a few moments before I recorded this ad. And I told her what I thought she should do about her blood sugar. And she explained to me what she was doing. She said it's going to be a little low like this a little longer, but I've got it don't worry. So my alarm is set at 65. So just now her blood sugar went to 64. And you heard three beeps. That easy. Arden is also getting alerted on her phone at the moment and my wife wherever she is lovely woman downstairs cleaning. I hope that sounds sexist. I didn't mean that. We're actually cleaning the house today. And so she said she would clean the downstairs. Anyway, that's the point. I also clean the house. Anyway Dexcom alerts and alarms where you set them, right so if your blood sugar's rising or falling, it gets to a certain number. That number you set in your app, you get an alarm just like the one you heard from me. I have Arden's low blood sugar set at 65 I think my wife gets an alarm at 70 Arden's alarm is set at 70. For lows, my high alarm is at 120 ordinances at 130. You can just move it wherever you want, and up to 10 people can follow you with your Dexcom if you like dexcom.com forward slash juicebox you may be eligible for a free 10 day trial of the Dexcom G six. You'll find out that as well as everything else that you need to know about Dexcom at my link, please use it when you head over dexcom.com Ford slash juice box. Guys the Omni pod five is the only tubeless automated insulin delivery system that integrates with the Dexcom G six CGM and uses smart adjust technology to automatically adjust your insulin delivery every five minutes, helping to protect against highs and lows without multiple daily injections. The Omni pod five is currently cleared for people with diabetes ages six and older and you have the option to control it from a compatible smartphone. The Omnipod five is also available through the pharmacy which means you can get started without the four year Durable Medical Equipment contract that comes with most insulin pumps, even if you're currently in warranty with another system. To get started with Omni pod five, all you have to do is go to Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. And hey, if you don't want an automated insulin pump, but you still want to Bliss, check out the Omni pod dash while you're there. As a matter of fact, you may be eligible for a free 30 day trial the Omni pod dash find out that as well at my link for full safety risk information and free trial terms and conditions. You can also visit Omni pod.com Ford slash juice box. My daughter Arden has been wearing an omni pod every day since she was four years old. And you heard me just say in the Dexcom ad that she's a freshman in college. That's a long time with an insulin pump. And there's one reason that Arden's been using an omni pod for All that time, it works. It does what we expect it to do. It's minimally invasive in our life. And it's easy on the pod.com forward slash juice box. And speaking of Dexcom, before I go, I'll tell you Artemis blood sugar is now 71. So she was right, she knew what she was doing. And even if she didn't, we were connected. So I can see your blood sugar as it got lower. That's the kind of safety and security that the Dexcom provides. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player, and links at juicebox podcast.com to Dexcom on the pod, and all the sponsors, when you click on my links, you're supporting the podcast

Wendy 15:48
literally the day he was diagnosed, because I think I was still reeling from me if and trying to, you know, adjust to that. And just just, I think with Maeve, the biggest thing for me was just trying to show her strength because I knew that this is going to be something she's going to deal with for the rest of her life. And I never wanted her to feel she couldn't do something because of diabetes. So like, even when she was diagnosed, she was in preschool. And I remember sitting there after a week at home adjusting to shots and everything. And I was thinking, Okay, I want to keep her home. And I don't want her to ever leave my side again for the rest of my life. But then I had to say, Okay, if she wasn't diabetic, where would she be? Now she'd be in preschool. And preschool didn't have a nurse didn't have anything. But I thought, you know, I have to do this. So she can feel that she can do things that she's not held back by this because it's not going anywhere. So I remember I would take her into a preschool, do a finger stick, and then I would sit in the parking lot like a creep and go back in that intervals and fingerstick and give her shots. But I pretty much sat in the parking lot for months.

Scott Benner 17:03
All right, well, I did that too. So I'm not gonna judge you.

Wendy 17:06
Yeah, yeah, I did. And you know, by the end of it, I was helping the teacher stuff, stuff and envelopes or, you know, whatever. But I just, I want to start out her feeling capable. And then with Aiden, I never suspected anything. He had been like this Lego programming camp and all that. Remember, pink hit him up and he was tired. And he fell asleep in the car. And I thought, wow, that camp is really wearing him out. And Saturday morning, my husband's off playing golf. And I'm upstairs, you know, doing laundry and I go into his room. And I'm like, Oh, my goodness, he went to bed. And he has never, ever ever wet the bed. He's Just Not That kid. Once he got out of diapers, he was done. Right? And then I thought he went to bed. He's been really tired. He's pale. He's skinny. And I thought nananana so we have a really big take one community here. And I called one of the other mothers and she was like, Look, just do a finger stick on him. And you can move on with your day. You will be paranoid about your other kids. It's gonna happen do a finger stick and you can move on. So I did move on to the hospital.

Scott Benner 18:18
Well, yeah, what was his blood sugar when you check?

Wendy 18:21
Um, it was the meter wasn't reading it, which means it was over 500

Scott Benner 18:25
Yeah. Wow. That's terrible. Well, yeah, I mean, everyone's I always think about that, right? Like, in most cases, that advice you got from that person is 100%. Right? You're being paranoid. You're just seeing diabetes everywhere. Because maybe diagnose just check his blood sugar, so you can stop worrying about it. But every once in a while? Yeah,

Wendy 18:46
yeah. Unfortunately, every now and then it's rice. Yeah, it's where I am. That's the thing is I was trying to adjust to meet and get all that race and absorbed in that. I never even thought about a trial that I even I never even considered that we could have a second child with us. It never was even on my radar because I was too busy trying to cope with one. No, I

Scott Benner 19:07
used to have that feeling as well that um, what happened to Arden like nothing will happen to call because what would the odds of that be, you know, except the more you kind of immerse yourself in this these conversations and talk to people. You know, it's, it's much more common than you think like, even like talking to Jenny. Like Jenny. Jenny doesn't talk about her brother much. But if you ever hear her, bring him up. Like he has like thyroid issues. And you know, and her mom had a goiter and blah, blah. But you don't I mean, like it's it's a it's just the way it works sometimes.

Wendy 19:43
Yeah. Yeah. And both both of my kids now we're showing it's coming up in their blood work that they have Hashimotos but they have no signs. Okay, they have no signs quite yet. But yeah, when Aiden was diagnosed, is a one C was only 8.5. So they were both pretty early diagnosis. So neither neither of them at a hospital stay or decay.

Scott Benner 20:03
What are their TSH levels? You know, I

Wendy 20:07
don't know. I don't know off the top of my head, I would have to look it up and look it up.

Scott Benner 20:12
We'll pay attention to them over two. And even without even without symptoms. It can impact growth. Not if I'm not mistaken, and you wouldn't want you wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want to find that out too late.

Wendy 20:26
Okay, so definitely we'll look at that. Yeah,

Scott Benner 20:29
listen to those thyroid episodes, too. They're they're pretty complete. Jenny and I did a defining five thyroid series. And there's an there's a great episode with Arden's integrative endocrinologist about all about thyroid stuff. So it's worthless. Awesome.

Wendy 20:45
I'll add that to my list. But yeah, like any, you know, new new people, you know that, that we have a local Facebook page just for our local people here. And there is an incredible type one community, which I'm really, really lucky to have. And the first thing I'll do is like, you need to go check out the basics on the juice box, because the way you break down Basal rates and everything with Jenny. Really, really, it's just like bite sized pieces, and it's understandable. It really is helpful. I'm very thankful for it.

Scott Benner 21:22
Well, you're very welcome. But just know that this is the only way I can do it. It just happens to be good for other people.

Wendy 21:29
Well, it's work and keep doing it. Yeah, absolutely. Keep doing it.

Scott Benner 21:32
So you're on the podcast today, for us to learn about your family. And because one of your children has ADHD, is that correct?

Wendy 21:40
Correct. Correct. My son also has ADHD, okay, he's my overachieving child, he has a congenital heart defect as well. So yeah, it's, it's tricky, like the ADHD on top of type one, it's, it's not the combination you ever want. It really isn't, you know, and you worry because there's, there's a lot of impulse impulsivity, like these kids are just so impulsive, and they don't think like the long game, everything is the short game. Now, if they get interested in something, they're all in there, like completely all in. But more often than that, that it's very forgetful. And he also does have some auditory processing. Okay. Which we didn't find out till last year. And I'm like, No, we got his hearing tests done nice hearing is fine. And his hearing is perfect. But how they test for auditory processing is they put you in a sound booth. And you know, the check that you're hearing is okay, it's okay. But then they start layering, you know, words and ask you to pick them out. And that's hard for him. Oh, that is hard.

Scott Benner 22:54
Oh, so if there's a background noise or a din of some sort, and then talking, he, then he doesn't,

Wendy 23:01
or even if, you know, you're calling out multiple commands, that can be hard. Okay, that can that can be really hard. So I didn't understand what it was either. So it's a difference on how the brain is interpreting everything back in, like the hearing is there, the hearing is perfect, but it's auditory processing, how the brain is processing, it is a little little messed up.

Scott Benner 23:24
Wow. So you have to speak to him. Simple sentences, like that kind of stuff, when you're given directions.

Wendy 23:30
That, you know, we started at a new school this year, or last year. To help with that can help with stuff like this. I mean, he does grace, you wouldn't know how to talk to him, but he works better with like giving them one command at a time. You know, like Go brush your teeth when he's finished brushing your teeth to take your medicine, you know, did you dose now when I find is really, you know, you don't want to? It's really hard because with diabetes, you don't want to be asking them constantly. What's your blood sugar did you do? What did you eat? Because they're going to get resentful. And then they're not going to they're going to start, like, bucking the system then because that's all they hear from you is diabetes, diabetes, what did you do? So I like I like to, you know, take a look on Nightscout and I can see what he's doing. And when he's Dorst. So then I'm not asking him I'm only asking him when I see he hasn't done something. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, that that's that's something I do. And you know, he's getting sensitive as well. He LD 13 This year, so he doesn't want to hear alarms going off in class. He doesn't want to stand out so there is no school nurse at his school. So I text him, I text him you know, like have juice do this have some protein. And what I do is I set his alarms way higher, and for greater intervals, low alarm So non negotiable on our house, but I will set his high alarm over 300 minus lower. Because the minute I get it, I'll text him and tell him to do something. Okay, but at least then he's not getting continuous alarms all day in class.

Scott Benner 25:13
What happens if that happens that if those alarms were to happen, how does that impact him?

Wendy 25:19
Um, we've had instances of rage for listening.

Scott Benner 25:24
Oh, because he doesn't wear alarm anymore. She just gives himself a ton of insulin.

Wendy 25:29
Yeah, yeah, he wants it to he wants it to stop. He wants it, he wants it to stop. And he wants that to stop now. So, you know, and we've explained you can't do that. So actually, about six months after diagnosis, we took both kids to see a therapist. Because, again, this is a marathon, not a race. I want to make sure these kids are well equipped for this, because it's really hard. It's really taxing on them. So we revisited recently, we started, you know, he started going back to see his therapist again. And it's really, really been helpful. And you know, he's made huge strides. And even being able to, like, with ADHD, they can be very anxious and emotional. And he may not tell me how he's feeling, but he'll react in a certain way. Whereas we've gotten him to the stage where he will text me and he'll say, I'm sorry, you know, I just got really emotional and felt overwhelmed. And the fact that he can text me that is huge. Yeah. That he sees that he can, that he can, he can see it, and he can acknowledge it, and he can verbalize it back to me. Yeah.

Scott Benner 26:37
And so that's from the therapy you think.

Wendy 26:41
I think it's combination of therapy and the school ism. Okay. So he,

Scott Benner 26:47
how did you find the school?

Wendy 26:49
Um, I'm sure with the JDRF. It No, it's really weird. When we figured out he has dyslexia, dysgraphia, auditory processing and ADHD, now he went through the system in school, all the way through, we knew he had ADHD, he got his accommodations, his IEP, everything's great. And then coming up to middle school, I was like, you know, I really want to get a full assessment done, because just seeing a little more than what, you know, I'm not seeing the progress that I should. So we got a full evaluation done privately, and found out all this other stuff. And then I remember there was a lady who worked at the JDRF here in South Carolina, and her telling me her daughter had dyslexia. And she had come across this learning system. And she had helped bring it into some specialized schools in South Carolina, she would it was instrumental in bringing it in. And it's a way to teach kids with dyslexia, and other learning disabilities. So I called her, her daughter had completed a program made huge differences in her life. And I thought, You know what, it may work, it may not work, but I'm gonna give it a try. So the premise of this, it's called Aerosmith. Not like the band, it's a RR O. W. Smith, and it's based on people with learning disabilities. I think the early brain studies show that if you put rats in a maze, those that are stimulated, will run the maze quicker than those that are not stimulated. So basically, it's neuroplasticity, the brain is a muscle. So if you can do certain exercises that will exercise your weaker parts of the brain, that you are strengthening it. And once it's strengthened, it's strengthened for life. And it's going to help you either completely overcome your learning disability, or at least become better. So like, my son has dysgraphia, which is dyslexia is interpreted from the written page into your brain. dysgraphia is being able to get what's in your brain down on paper. And some people have a really hard time they're like, I have it all up here. I can't get it down on paper. Well, that was him. Well, he is writing beautifully passages in cursive now, which is insane. So it's a it's a bunch of different exercises. One of them is it's quite common for kids with dyslexia to not be able to read an analog clock. So one of the brain exercises they do is they start on a regular 200 clock, and I think they work their way up to a chronograph. And they sit there and they will read it and they will be able to tell the time and it's an exercise they to repeatedly for like an hour or two. But it really is working that brain.

Scott Benner 29:41
I'm starting to think that every kid I've ever met must be dyslexic. Because if not being able to read an analog clock is one of the indicators. I don't think I've met four kids that can do it anymore. So really, yeah.

Wendy 29:53
Yeah, it's one of the things that that kind of goes hand in hand like you know, there's a certain age by which you should be able All too, but it's, it's I mean, it's not a pure indicator, but it's a commonality. And yeah, they do all these brain training exercises all day. And it's amazing to see the progress. Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:13
Hey, because Go ahead, go no, no, please because

Wendy 30:18
because for us, I mean, he has ADHD, he has all this other stuff. diabetes is hard. So if we can strengthen his brain and strengthen his memory, then that's going to make diabetes easy,

Scott Benner 30:30
right? So hold on a second, I'm putting all this together, you should see me making my notes again. My handwriting is so bad. born with a heart defect, or developed,

Wendy 30:42
I'm born with it. We, in the middle of the pandemic, took Aiden for his regular checkup at the pediatrician, they noticed his blood pressure was high. And we're like, okay, that's weird. So they told me monitor at home for the next week and call us back with the readings. So I called back with the readings. They're like, Oh, that's not good. He was like, 150, over 90, and all that kind of way. So they were like, that's, that's really not good. So they had a C and nephrologist. And then ufologists, you know, because they're a one C has always been, you know, around the seven mark. It's never been crazy. And we saw the nephrologist, put them on blood pressure medication. Well, that didn't work. They after those that didn't work. So they're like, Okay, we've told everything at this. We need to do more investigation. Now. When they did more tests, they discovered that he had an aortic coarctation.

Scott Benner 31:41
Did they come into the tissues to tell you that?

Wendy 31:46
No, that one was even better, because I went in to you know, we got all the scans all the results. And I'm driving home from the doctor's office from the nephrologist. And I got a phone call. And it's the actual nephrologist himself. And he's like, Oh, I forgot. You're probably still driving, are you? I'm like, yeah, he's like, Okay, I'll call you when you're parked. Like, like, no, it's telling me now. And he's like, no, no, no, no, get home. And then I will call you how long will it take you to get home? I'm like, Oh my gosh,

Scott Benner 32:16
buddy. I've already lived through this story. What do you do? Like?

Wendy 32:18
I'm like, no. So I called my husband. I was like, there's a call coming in. It's not good. I don't know what it is, but it's not good. So on one of the scans, they picked up his aorta as a pinch point that's never grown. So as his heart and his aorta have grown, it was five mil instead of 15.

Scott Benner 32:38
Will they address it at some point? He's had two surgeries so far too. Okay. So every time he gets a bigger I assume they they make that

Wendy 32:46
they go in and stretch us, okay. Like they didn't they didn't know whether they depending on how long that pinch point is. They would either have to resection or they could do a stent. And we didn't know until literally the morning of the surgery, which one they weren't going to be able to do. So they were able to do a stent, but they couldn't go in and stretch from five to 15. Or they would risk rupture. So they did it in stages.

Scott Benner 33:11
How many more of these do you think you'll have to have?

Wendy 33:15
He'll probably have to have another one when he's about 17. But the you know, the cardiologist said his heart was pretty good size. You know, he's he's nearly 13. So if he had discovered earlier, he'd have more surgeries. So they'll have they'll go in and stretch that again.

Scott Benner 33:33
If his blood pressure still high or is it working?

Wendy 33:37
Perfect. That's perfect. They they staged him down off the Amlodipine down to like they had the smallest dose and they had me cutting that tablet and two and he sees a cardiologist every three months and he's doing great. He's doing fantastic. And then they discovered they discovered one of his valves and his bicuspid instead of tricuspid so there could be a valve replacement in his future to

Scott Benner 34:00
Wow My goodness. We're overachievers yeah you guys are he you gathered up all the stuff that no one else can have it?

Wendy 34:08
Listen we go big or go home yeah.

Scott Benner 34:11
I'm just thinking about all the people listening who are like I have to have my wisdom teeth out when I'm 17 you stop complaining get an amen.

Wendy 34:20
I have a friend who has identical twin diabetic girls. And I told her I'm like you want up to me? I had to you had to get two identical. So if we can't joke about it, what can we do?

Scott Benner 34:33
I agree with that 100% So Maeve must just be like sitting off to the side being like how I got out of this release.

Wendy 34:44
Oh, she's a firecracker. Oh, she's an absolute firecracker. That one. That's amazing.

Scott Benner 34:48
Okay, so I want to know about some of these impacts. So where do I start here? So the the auditory process thing has got you to a point where? I mean, because I mean, we all know like you're always yelling stuff about like diabetes across the house right? Like, what's your blood sugar to just eat something? We're having 15 minutes? Did you Pre-Bolus Like all that stuff so? So you you consciously don't do that? Did it become a habit? Or do you have to remind yourself?

Wendy 35:22
Um, some I have good days and bad days. I have days when I'm a good mom and not so good mom. You know, those days when I'm tired, and I'm just like, What did you do? But yeah, you know, they're, like, this morning, he Pre-Bolus and he was doing great, but then he got distracted. So then we had a 40 blood sugar. You know, so he

Scott Benner 35:43
didn't need he Pre-Bolus but then didn't eat.

Wendy 35:46
got distracted? Yeah, yeah. So he, I mean, he's doing fantastic. He's doing his absolute best, but these things happen.

Scott Benner 35:56
Okay. Just give me an example of something that might distract them.

Wendy 36:03
Like OLED, TV, anything.

Scott Benner 36:05
Okay? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Something doesn't matter attention. And he's done that. Okay.

Wendy 36:13
Are he leaves? And then I'll look at Nightscout. And I'm like, you forgot to do this? And he's like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. And then he'll go in and dose. But it's not a conscious decision for him to not dose. And also, he's 12. So, on top of all that, he's his kid.

Scott Benner 36:34
So do you. Is ADHD something that you? Does he take medication for it? Or is

Wendy 36:41
it? Yes, he does. He does. He's a he's been on medication. Way before diabetes. So who takes Adderall XR? Does it help? Yes. Oh, hugely, hugely. I can tell I can tell if he hasn't taken it. And I think for him, it helps too. Because if he's able to focus better, it takes a lot of stress off him and takes a lot of because you know, kids like that tend to do have a high anxiety level. And I think when he can see our you know, he's able to keep up with the class and do stuff better. It makes him more relaxed and better.

Scott Benner 37:22
I see. And then taking the medications on him. It's something he needs to remember to do on his own.

Wendy 37:30
Yes, but I always ask them to check like we have in north a little pill box with the days of the week. So I'll ask him to take it and you know, some days he'll go to school and forget it. I'm like, God bless the teachers today.

Scott Benner 37:44
Do you get notes that they noticed right away, too.

Wendy 37:47
I have messaged and been like, I'm really sorry. He forgot it. And they're like, Yeah, we kind of guessed. I mean, he's not he's not bouncing off walls or anything. You know, he's not incredibly hyper. But he will be distracted. He will he like he needs to be refocused a lot more than if he was taking it.

Scott Benner 38:07
I see. Okay. All right. The boy, this is the part where I'm stopping myself from saying to you, I'm so sorry. All this was happening.

Wendy 38:19
I don't know. No, don't be sorry.

Scott Benner 38:21
I know. I appreciate and I know not to be I'm just saying there's it seems like a lot Are you okay?

Wendy 38:28
Um, yeah. I feel like we're you know, finally coming out of a fog but like, that's the thing is diabetes doesn't just affects the diabetic and affects the whole family. And it's, it's, it's very, very stressful. And it's stressful as a parent that you don't get to switch off you don't drop him to school and come home and breathe a sigh of relief. Because with diabetes, you're always on your on 24/7.

Scott Benner 38:53
You're not drinking or anything, right.

Wendy 38:57
Try not to not.

Scott Benner 39:02
Listen, you have to you have to be everyone's friend in South Carolina, right? Like your accent must be so different from everyone else there. They must just everyone must know who you are imagining.

Wendy 39:14
Pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, what's really funny is, so I'm getting on my kids. And maybe it's because I get agitated. My accent is stronger. They're like, Oh, Mom, I can understand your Irish accent. And that really gets to me.

Scott Benner 39:31
They do it just to get you do you think? Yeah, absolutely. What did you say? Oh, I would do that. Yeah. Now I'm imagining I would I'd be like, you'd yell at me and go through a whole diatribe and I go, I'm so sorry. I wasn't following what you were saying.

Wendy 39:45
Yeah, and my son tells everyone that his mom is the full Irish. You guys I'm 100% Irish.

Scott Benner 39:54
Was it your intention to name the episode just though? Maybe I'm just going to jot down the full Irish. There we go. So So I hear people, I hear people all the time and tell me, you have to talk to more people whose kids have ADHD and type one because it's so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. And what I'm always interested in, is that what people think would fill an entire hour of conversation. Because if I had if I had those people on, I said, Alright, ADHD, type one diabetes, what's so hard about it? I bet you couldn't talk for five minutes. And not that it's not difficult. But there's no there's never as much content around an idea as people believe there is. So

Wendy 40:38
while I'm Irish, I already know how to make a short story long. So

Scott Benner 40:46
I've heard that I

Wendy 40:49
did I tell you I was born ordinare. The Blarney Stone?

Scott Benner 40:53
Where are you? Or is that just something you tell people?

Wendy 40:56
No, actually, it's about 20 minutes drive from my mom's house.

Scott Benner 40:59
Oh, geez, no kidding. So you are when did you get to America?

Wendy 41:04
2007.

Scott Benner 41:07
This boy, you married? Was he here? Or did you meet him somewhere else?

Wendy 41:13
Well, I worked for an engineering company in Ireland and England. And they had an office here in South Carolina, and they needed help for a few months. So they were like, can you go over there and help out. So I did. And then while I was there, the lady sitting next to me was like, I know a guy upstairs who would be absolutely perfect for you. Just like when you go on a blind date. So I said, I'm not going on blind date with any weirdo. But I said if we're all going out, and he happens to be in the bar, I'm fine with that. So this was like early January 2008. So in May We eloped and told no one.

Scott Benner 41:49
Gosh. She says, Look, do you ever, ever look that woman up and and go punch her in the face?

Wendy 41:58
Oh, I do blame her. I'm like, thanks. Thanks for that one.

Scott Benner 42:01
Every year. Every year Christmas, I'd write her a long note about all the things that I've been

Wendy 42:09
I could be still touring around Europe.

Scott Benner 42:13
Oh my gosh, you think it meeting people does change your life? That's for sure.

Wendy 42:18
Oh, it does. I have no no intention of Yeah, but more than you know, when you know, you know, I do remember, you know, talking to my mom on a Monday and she's like, what to do with the weekend. I'm like, I got married. She was like you didn't I'm like, Yeah, did.

Scott Benner 42:35
How old were you? Oh, 32 Oh, okay. She probably She probably thought like, I didn't think that was gonna happen at all. So

Wendy 42:44
my brother was like, my brother was like, that's fantastic. When are you due? So I'm like, I'm not. I'm not you're gonna have to wait. But you know, that's brothers far. Yeah.

Scott Benner 42:57
No, my gosh, I didn't know you were pregnant. You should have told me.

Wendy 43:01
That's exactly what he said.

Scott Benner 43:06
Do we not talk anymore? What do you what's what's wrong?

Wendy 43:09
Oh, I call I called one time and I was like, Hey, do you miss me? And he's like, Did you go somewhere? Else or harsh?

Scott Benner 43:16
Did you at least take a picture of the wedding so people can say?

Wendy 43:19
Yes, yes, we did. We had a little chapel thing. I went to David's Bridal on my lunch break, picked up a dress. And there was a photo package with it. I don't like fosse apparently. I don't I don't. I don't want to be that woman who's the center of attention? It just No, no. I think I've just worked in a male dominated trade all my life. And I'm just like, nope, nope. Still get the job done.

Scott Benner 43:48
That's interesting. How long have you been married? 14 years, nearly 14 years. That's not even a little long way to get to 20.

Wendy 43:59
I heard you get out after eight years on good behavior for murder. That's just a statistic.

Scott Benner 44:06
Like, gosh, the other day I was telling my wife all about what what I think we should do for our 25th anniversary. And she goes, you know, that was last August. Right? I was like, Oh, whoops, I still have a lot of good ideas about

Wendy 44:22
your like Lebanon COVID. Oh, sure. Yeah, I was COVID. We couldn't travel.

Scott Benner 44:28
I have a question for you. I've asked one other person on a recording recently. They didn't have an answer, but I'm gonna ask you based on your experience with your son. Now I am not dyslexic. But I received a note from a woman the other day who listens to the podcast and asked me if I if I was Is there anything about me that makes you would have made you wonder if I was dyslexic?

Wendy 44:52
Dyslexia isn't classically what you think it is. It's not like writing your DS and B's backwards. Yeah, no. Oh, it's there's nothing that I would say. But we didn't know my son had it either.

Scott Benner 45:07
Because I and I have to admit, I was I was I wasn't, like upset. I just, I was like, this is weird when like, people send me weird notes and there are times where I'm like, Ha, I never thought of that or times when I think, oh, this person must be drinking while they're writing to make, but I never potentially, potentially, yeah, this looks okay, hold on a second. Is this right? A learning disorder characterized by difficulty of reading dyslexia occurs in children with normal vision and intelligence symptoms and late talking, learning new words slowly delay and learning to read most children with dyslexia can succeed in school with tutoring. That's so that's it?

Wendy 45:45
Yeah, yeah, that's it. I mean, you just the thing is, it's not like you're writing everything backwards or forwards or anything. But one thing like, you know, I like to do a lot of reading and study on this stuff. But like, for dyslexia and stuff like that, like certain fonts are easier to read. So like Comic Sans is a font that is very readable, very, very easy for Dyslexics to read. Because the DMV aren't just mirrored, they're very distinct to each other. Okay. So like, you know, the stuff like that, that you learn about. And also, like, you know, for dyslexia and dysgraphia. One thing about the school that my son goes to is cursive, because it's, it's just one continuous motion. Whereas you're constantly stopping and starting if you do block writing, and then you're finding your point each time, whereas with cursive, it has more of a flow, and it's more beneficial, but they don't teach it in schools anymore.

Scott Benner 46:48
Ya know, nobody knows how to, every time one of my kids gets older and I'm like, Hey, you're gonna we're gonna get you a Mac card now, which I don't have a bank card. I think that's an old term from Philly Mac money access. I forget what the hell

Wendy 47:02
we call it the drink length.

Scott Benner 47:04
The drink link? Yes. I think I think cool. Colloquially, people just say ATM right? But

Wendy 47:12
when I was in my clubbing days, it was called the drink Clink.

Scott Benner 47:15
I'd be honest, this is the part in the episode where everyone who thinks that I'm dirty for some reason, there's gonna be like, See, here he goes again. ATM makes me think of a weird sexual thing that I'm not comfortable with. So I

Wendy 47:29
guess I'm gonna go look it up right now. Oh, yeah. Great.

Scott Benner 47:31
No one Google that. Please. I just seriously, you'll think less of me. And I don't I don't think we need that. But I just say Mac because I grew up with it. But now I don't even remember what Mac stood for. Money access card, money access card, that's gotta be it.

Wendy 47:48
Yeah, I remember like, I had this one friend. We'd go out and you got your you know, the money would go in your account at midnight, like midnight between Thursday and Friday morning. So she'd go out when enough for like two drinks. And then she'd stand at the ATM, waiting for midnight to get her money at it. So she could go buy another round, I think and she would not let anyone near that machine. And it's dangerous sometimes because you find some places where they'll actually put it in the bar.

Scott Benner 48:17
Yeah, that's not okay.

Wendy 48:20
You're like you wake up in the morning. You're like I bought around for who?

Scott Benner 48:25
All this to say, when I asked my kids to sign the back of the cards, you should see the long pause that happens before they go. Here I go. Like I don't know how to sign my name. My son writes, like very small. Like his his letters are very small. And my end audience like Cole writes like a serial killer. And I'm like, I don't think he's just

Wendy 48:49
practicing newsprint. Yeah, it's just so

Scott Benner 48:51
small. When he writes he left handed. No, we have no idea what it's about. So my brother

Wendy 48:57
writes really, really small and nice as well, but he's left handed.

Scott Benner 49:01
Oh, cool. Isn't that neat? It's just my, my handwriting is atrocious. Like, even if I'm printing, like I write things in front of me while while we're talking. And so I don't I don't spell particularly great, because I don't stop to say the word my head. Like I like it's just, maybe I do have something, but that's not the point. Right. So, so like when you say dysgraphia to me, I've never heard that word before, and most people would just do their best to write it down. I wrote down di SGRAP H i is that even Right? Or is it wrong? HIA Oh, I did that. I actually so I got that. Right. Okay. There is an ABN but, but when I wrote it, all I was trying to do was make enough visual cues for myself that while we were talking about it, I could say dysgraphia without having to think about

Wendy 49:57
it. That's just phonetics. I think that's that's totally okay.

Scott Benner 50:01
Do you think that's all right? All sir. So in front of me right now the word auditory. Even when I'm going to read it back to me back to you, I know I made an A, my using my using completed almost looks like a C that's falling to the left the D, the D looks more like a lollipop upside down the next letter, I think I intended to be an eye. And then there's maybe

Wendy 50:28
or maybe you were just meant to be a doctor.

Scott Benner 50:31
The next ones that maybe that was it. Hold on the next one's a T, that looks more like a bee that doesn't have a complete loop. Then there's just a little mark and a y. And I think the Mark was supposed to be an O and I skipped right over any consideration of an R. But when I look at it, I know I mean auditory. If I went back to this a week from now, I don't know if I'd know what it said. Like that's how bad my writing is. So I should put this up online so people can see it. But I don't think anybody cares that much. And it's embarrassing if I'm being completely honest. So, but But anyway, where were we at with that? Jesus? God, that was a long rabbit hole.

Wendy 51:18
Yeah, dysgraphia it's just like, you know, improper capitalization run on sentences and proper spacing, writing off the line and multiple things like that.

Scott Benner 51:30
Oh, okay. Not just not Oh, wow. So structurally not even being able to lay the words out in front of yourself. Yeah,

Wendy 51:37
like, like, you know, you're right, you're writing on the line, but it ends up kind of floating above the line, mid air kind of way. And your spacing in between words is all off way off. So it really is how it's getting from your brain down to your hand. And it's what's crazy is simple things like learning cursive help, because you're developing that muscle memory. It all flows. So it flows, it slows a lot easier for the person. And like when, you know, before we found the school, I went and had all the IEP meetings, and I spoke to all the teachers and all the special ed teachers. And they're like, Yeah, that's great. We'll give them a Chromebook. I'm like, that's amazing. He needs cursive. He needs to be able to write, he can have a Chromebook. That's fantastic. He's not going to have a Chromebook attached to his hand for the rest of his life. Right? How about basic skills?

Scott Benner 52:30
Yeah, we're getting him an iPad that has a pen on it, at least if you're gonna help, you know,

Wendy 52:34
basic skills, you know, stuff like that. They're like, No, no, no. The answer to everything seems to be a Chromebook right now, which,

Scott Benner 52:44
yeah, I was gonna say that, as Arden graduates from high school, and Cole is getting ready to graduate from college, I would say that one of my bigger disappointments about raising kids so far has been the quality of the education they received. In a public school, like I'm looking, they can walk and talk and chew gum at the same time. And they probably know a lot more than I think. But it just, I don't know if it was my expectation, or, or what, but it just, it's not something that I've been completely thrilled with.

Wendy 53:19
Don't get me started on common core math, because that's a nightmare.

Scott Benner 53:23
I don't know, I didn't pay attention at all. My son is in college now and getting some crazy degree. And there are times he'll FaceTime me and hold up his homework. And he'll be like, this is math. And I'm like, there are no numbers on that page anywhere. It's math, and I'm like, okay, good luck. Yeah, you're well outside of my purview. That's for sure. You know, if I were to write a greeting card to you, I've learned over my life, I cannot write it on the card, I actually have to go type it out somewhere first, and then go back and write it down. Because when I write, my thoughts come out, just the way they're happening. And when I'm speaking it, it works fine. But but if you I would imagine reading a transcript of this podcast must be confusing, because I'm a very clear communicator, but I don't speak in a ton of complete sentences. I write thoughts in motion. You know what I'm talking about. I move in another direction I bring you I don't even know how I do it. Exactly. But so when I when I even wrote my book, like I'd I'd write something and then go back and look at it and think, Oh, I started with this thought and ended with this. But what I ended with should have been the beginning. Like my editing process was very strange. And so I can't sit down and write out a card because I'll have to throw it away.

Wendy 54:44
And I don't like writing cards because beyond hope you have a great birthday. That's pretty much where it goes. I'm like, I don't know what you're supposed to write on this thing. Happy birthday happy person. Yeah.

Scott Benner 54:56
When I watch a movie and someone sits down and thought Fully writes a note to someone, and you can see that they're considering every word and how it relates to the last word. I don't have. I mean, I could force myself to do it, but it's not my my natural inclination. So

Wendy 55:12
no, I don't like it either. Yeah.

Scott Benner 55:15
So so your son is? I mean, how do you think of him day to day? Like, what are your biggest challenges, day to day?

Wendy 55:25
Um, I mean, the amount of strides he's made, and the progress he's made is absolutely amazing. And I think he's definitely getting more in touch with his emotions, and why he's doing stuff and acknowledging it and, you know, observing that, so that's really helping what his impulse, you know, his being impulsive. But I guess, I guess just just, you know, like, I text and I remind, and I tried to give them as much autonomy as I can, but I guess it just worries me on the day that if they have complete autonomy to that, you know, cutting those apron strings?

Scott Benner 56:06
Well, that's a long way off, though. But do you feel like you're gonna have to be more involved as he's even older?

Wendy 56:14
I don't know. I don't know. I think I think he's learning some amazing skills right now. And my hope is that no, my hope is that I'll always be there if he needs me. You know, but that he has the confidence and independence to do it on his own.

Scott Benner 56:29
You know, somebody asked me last night, if I was worried about art and going to college, and I have to say, I'm not like I, I worried about it for years when she was younger. And now the times here, I'm not I'm not concerned there. You know, the person was like, have you found a doctor where she's going to come? Like she just picked the place like four days ago? Like, no, like, I haven't thought about that yet. I do have. You know, there's a lovely woman who used to work for the JDRF at the local level, and she's the person who brought me down to Georgia to speak. And, you know, as soon as we said out loud, where Arden was going to school, she's like, I'm, I'm pretty close to that. She's like, I can be her. Like, if you ever need anything I can help

Wendy 57:13
back up. Yeah. And that's the one bright side of diabetes is the community that you find in the diabetic community. It's unlike any community I've ever ever met. You know, something happens, there's always someone there to help. And you really, you're never on your own. I can remember one time. This was about 334 years back, and my son was going for a sleepover. And he was staying at his friend's house. And he's got his sling bag where it's, you know, he's PDM everything in it. And he got super excited and jumped in the pool and forgot about his bag. It was on him. So Friday, on Friday, PDM fried everything. And he was really upset about it. But within four hours, I was back up and operating. Yeah, because I just put something out there saying, you know, he jumped in the pool, but he's PDM whatever thing, are we gonna have to go back to shots? And someone's like, No, I've got a spare PDM call the manufacturer, you'll have it within 24 or 48 hours. In the meantime, here's my backup on, you know, and I really feel that you will find someone Yeah, no matter no matter where you are. It's just I think it's a kinship. Because we all know how hard it is.

Scott Benner 58:25
It's funny, when you started saying that I thought I don't have any real experiences with that. And then I went through it my head, I have put a little girl's pump on in my kitchen for the first time. I've stood in people's houses locally and talk to them about diabetes. I've had a person who we only tangentially know, give us a PDM at one o'clock in the morning. You know, and so I do have all those stories too. And I didn't even think about it. It's not something like I would have thought to draw on but when as you were explaining those things, I thought oh, we've been through all that. And, and had very similar experiences. So I it's very important, obviously. Do you know a lot of other people whose kids have ADHD and type one? One, so it's not that common? No, I don't ask around you

Wendy 59:12
don't think so? Not around me anyway. No, but I do. I do know like, my kids have a bunch of type one friends.

Scott Benner 59:19
Are those children's experiences with I'm sorry, the one person you know with ADHD? Their experience is very similar to yours. Do you find or no not really.

Wendy 59:29
Um, I think a little Think a little

Scott Benner 59:33
so if you if your your best advice on this is therapy, medication and a team

Wendy 59:44
like what we're doing, we're doing you know, we're doing all this neuroplasticity stuff. But I mean, just find what works for you. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I guess when it comes to anything that my kids have i i Don't just accept it. I dive into Reese. Search and try figure out okay, what can we do to help this? What can we do to make it better? And if we can't make it better, make it easier for the kids to live with? Yeah. I think I think research is the key.

Scott Benner 1:00:14
I feel the same. I love this idea of teaching his brain. You know, that's just very cool. And that you're seeing results from it is amazing.

Wendy 1:00:22
Oh, yeah. And there's there's books out there published. It's, it's really big in Canada. I think one of the first schools was in Toronto. And like, everything that they do is catered specifically to his cognitive weaknesses. So it's not just everyone goes in and does the same exercises every day. He has a full assessment at the start of the year. They see where there's a deficit, and that's where they focus on. Well, I get that that's what they work on.

Scott Benner 1:00:52
If anybody's interested, a simple internet search of the word neuroplasticity with ADHD, we'll give you a ton of like testing centers and stuff like that.

Wendy 1:01:04
But again, you know, a lot of there's a lot of brain training places that pop up now, and there's a McDonald's office. That's how I'll turn.

Scott Benner 1:01:13
So you found yours through JDRF?

Wendy 1:01:17
Because, lady, I knew her daughter had a learning disability. And she turns out, we brought this program into the schools here. Coincidence? How

Scott Benner 1:01:27
do I figure out who's good and who's bad?

Wendy 1:01:33
Go through an accredited program. I mean, if you look up Aerosmith, you're going to find there's a book or even a TED talk on Barbara Aerosmith. Young her TED talk is amazing. There's books, one of them is called a brain school by Howard Eaton, EA, T. O. N. And it's fully accredited. There's proof out there. Yeah, you're gonna find all these little pop up, you know, clinics and stuff, but I don't know how good they actually are. I'm sure they do some, but they're not as in depth as this and is it expensive? Yes, absolutely. But it's worth it. Because if two or three years of this expense helps him for the rest of his life, then we're going to do it.

Scott Benner 1:02:20
I think that's how I tried to think about college tuition. I just don't like.

Wendy 1:02:27
Yeah, that's when I send my kids back to Ireland for free education.

Scott Benner 1:02:30
We're like, we'll just we'll just, we'll just we'll get through this somehow. And then, you know, as my son's graduating, I said to my wife, I was like, how did we even do this? Like,

Wendy 1:02:41
it's insane. Because like, I got a college degree, and I, you know, yeah, I didn't pay for anything for it.

Scott Benner 1:02:50
That would be nice. I know, I won't tell you what we pay.

Wendy 1:02:54
No, but that's the thing is you get your free education, but you don't get a complete free ride. So if you're not performing, and not doing the work, they'll kick you out make you pay. So you kind of get you get one run at it. Yeah. So like, if you failed your summer exams, you could do the full repeats, to try get into second year. And if you fail, the fall repeats, then you have to go back to first year. And then you're going to start paying, guys, gotcha. So you just you can't just sit there, you know, spinning your wheels for years. So

Scott Benner 1:03:25
your Coast calls all but done. He's doing really well. So it's, it's nice, but geez, it's also been a lot, you know, I think I think it's possible, he'll come home and just sit down for a month, you know what I mean? Like literally just just try to decompress from the whole experience, Ardennes, as we just got done, by the way for anybody who, who doesn't have kids or who are old enough to know this or not, you know, our didn't pick the school that she wanted to go to. And they offered her money at pocket for her academic achievements. And then we said, this is lovely. How do we get more money. And there were ways so you know, art and did extra things to submit that got her somewhere. And then when it was all said and done, we had a lovely conversation with the admissions person and I said, it's still a little too expensive if she has other offers from other schools that are that are less expensive. You you have to you have to come closer to this so that we can say yes to this and they did. So Wow. You know, don't be afraid to ask was my Oh, that's

Wendy 1:04:37
that's similar with the school that my son is in now actually, my daughter is there too, because they run regular classes too. So he does regular class with his peers and these you know, breakout sessions for the neuroplasticity for part of the day buddies were in with his peers for the rest of the day. But because I you know I felt that the regular You know, public school wasn't meeting his needs, I was able to apply for a grant. Oh, wow. And I was able to, you know, it's out there, go look for it, because people don't tell you, but if you go, Look, we got a grant. And then on top of that, you can apply for parental tax credit as well. Because you've got, they don't say a special needs child. They call it an exceptional child. But yeah, we were able to submit for Him. And then I thought, Oh, well, we're not going to be able to, you know, get any of her tuition back because it's private. And then somebody was like, oh, no, you can get hers back because you have her in a small setting because of her diabetes. And I was like, Oh, wow. And that was too

Scott Benner 1:05:42
good for you. Hey, does your husband have anything going on ADHD? Like that kind of stuff? No, no. Okay. No, just just just just lucky. That's all. Yeah, yeah. I think I think that Aiden's body misunderstood the term Luck of the Irish.

Wendy 1:06:03
He also he also has mild scoliosis. But you know, I'll stop right there. The hell out of here. He's serious. Because it's so funny. He swallowed a tiny one time. And he went in for an x ray. And then afterwards, I was looking up the X ray, because it was really cool X ray, because you could actually he was wearing his pump when x rayed him so you could see all the guts of the pump and his skeleton. And then I was reading the notes and it was like mild scoliosis. And I was like, Ah, he doesn't have scoliosis. So I called a pediatrician took him in for a checkup. Yes, he does.

Scott Benner 1:06:37
You guys gotta stop looking. I don't I'm not usually medically, I'm not usually on this road. But just stop paying attention. Just leave

Wendy 1:06:44
this and this. And this is why during the pandemic, we homeschooled because I was like, Look, I know where my lock is. I know exactly where my lock is. I'm not risking anything.

Scott Benner 1:06:54
This COVID is gonna kill one kid. It's this one right here. Yeah, I see. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Wendy 1:07:03
That's he's just happy go lucky. I mean, he's fantastic. He's a he has, he has an like this. The other thing as well, with dyslexia, they have very creative brains. And Aiden is hugely into the Titanic, and Bob Ballard and any kind of, you know, we watch drain the ocean, at the show on shipwrecks. We love documentaries, but actually saw that Bob Ballard, who discovered the Titanic was he was in the Navy himself. And He credits his dyslexia with helping him find the Titanic. Because they don't, you know, think visually, or, you know, auditory. They think more 3d they think boat. So he said, you know, he was going looking for, I think, a nuclear wreck. And he asked like the Navy while I'm down there, can I look for the Titanic? And they were like, Yeah, but they were like, We didn't expect them to find it. Because they didn't want anyone to know the mission he was on. But he said, like your their systems, their navigational systems broke down. And he was like, no, no, go straight ahead, go this way, do this. And they were like, Are you sure? And he's like, yep, yep, I can visualize it right now. And lo and behold, there was a Titanic. Wow, that's crazy. And he gives talks to children on how dyslexia can be your superpower. A lot of the grace brains have dyslexia. It's not a disability, it's just more of a lateral way of thinking,

Scott Benner 1:08:37
Do you know art and showed me a video last night of I think this little boy had autism. And he had a whiteboard in front of him. And a man off screen I imagined with his father would say the name of a font. Then the kid could immediately without pause, write words in that font, like like, like handwrite a font. And I mean, he must have done six, eight of them in a row, just rapid fire and not like eat like Joker was one of them. And he's making the dots and the lines and everything and just moving right on. I was I was fascinated about it.

Wendy 1:09:15
Yeah, like, like Aiden, he builds a Lego. And I mean, he'll just get it into his head, or I'm gonna build a replica of the Titanic. I'm gonna build this. And he, he'll make like, he's, you know, he plays fortnight and all this and Halo and all these games. And he's like, yeah, so that's the gun that he has. And before I know it, he's stripped one of the pens. He's taken out the spring. He's used like an elastic, and he'll actually make something with a site, you know, where you can actually draw it back and click it on me. This is just what Lego

Scott Benner 1:09:51
I cannot think that way at all. As a matter of fact, if my navigation gets confused on what way my car is pointing, I can stay Aaron stare and stare and think this thing wants me to make a laugh. But I don't know which way left is now. Not not that I don't understand left, but because my you know, the little representation of the car is wrong on the screen, I have trouble figuring it out.

Wendy 1:10:12
I don't I, I am an engineer by trade. I can follow instructions fantastic. But I wouldn't be the most creative person, I don't even doodle, you can put me in a meeting for six hours. And I will not take pen to paper unless it's got a purpose.

Scott Benner 1:10:29
It's really interesting, isn't it? Because as I sit here, right now, if you put me in a room and said to me, how do you think we can help people with diabetes, I have so many ideas that I know will work. And, and I just don't have the I don't have an infrastructure to put any of it in motion. But I know how to help people with all kinds of things that they need. If they're if money wasn't an option, and I had people at my disposal, I could build, I could I could literally build an empire is the wrong word. But like a collection of things that would help people with type one and other autoimmune issues, just off the ideas in my head. But, but if you asked me to write them all down, I don't know if I could do that you would need to sit with me. And let me just talk. And,

Wendy 1:11:17
and that's where like for some kids with learning disabilities, a laptop and a keyboard is actually way better for them. Because it takes away the pressure of writing. And it's more of a float. Oh, okay, and taking pen to paper. So I do have another friend who has dyslexia. And she said, starting on a keyboard was what really helped her because it's like your fingers know where the keys are. Sometimes once you get, you know, once you're used to the keyboard, and yeah, taking a pen to paper is stressful. You know,

Scott Benner 1:11:53
if you asked me if I can type, I'd say I'm a rudimentary typer. But last night, I answered 100 questions online in rapid succession while I was also listening to an episode of the podcast for an edit. And I never once thought about looking at the keyboard, but I don't know you're in the zone. Yeah, I just don't know that. I can type though. Because I yeah, I don't even know like I can type from my brain to my fingers. But I think if you asked me to read something and then replicate it typing, I think I would go very slowly at it.

Wendy 1:12:29
So there's something at the start. Wouldn't know who knows?

Scott Benner 1:12:32
What am I got time for them? I don't learn how to type now. You imagine, took me took me 20 years to figure out what Cordy meant. Look, do you

Wendy 1:12:42
know it messes me up as well as because when I came from Ireland over here, even though it's a QWERTY keyboard, it's slightly different. Really like the shift key and stuff like that. It's slightly different. Okay. Yeah. And also for typing an Irish like the I can't remember the sequence but a lot of fodder on words like the accent. You don't have that on the keyboards you get here.

Scott Benner 1:13:07
Well, I don't even know what father is so funny. Okay. When is there anything we haven't talked about that we should have?

Wendy 1:13:17
They both loop. Oh, cool. Yep. How long? There was nothing. But three years? Wow. Yep. Which definitely with ADHD, it's definitely reduced the amount of time we spent talking about diabetes.

Scott Benner 1:13:33
Well, it's one thing it definitely has helped. At first, I thought three years you've been doing that, like, guy's been doing that for a long time. But then I thought, oh, engineers, you probably were thrilled when you heard about it.

Wendy 1:13:43
Do you know what I was really annoyed at is that when it came to building it, we made the decision. We got the MacBook we got all set up to do it. I got up on weekend morning and my husband was like, Oh, I've uploaded the code. I'm like, I wanted to do the code.

Scott Benner 1:14:00
Had a little geeky fight there in your kitchen. Did you? Like I wanted to do that? Well, you want to come here and do it. I I hate it. Every time I open up. I can't even remember the name of the program. That's how bad li i hate it.

Wendy 1:14:16
What What I really love is the auto bonus. That to me has been a game changer for us. Really, really a game changer. Yeah. Because even if they do get out of line, it brings them back in without me having to be on them all the time.

Scott Benner 1:14:30
Yeah, artists, artists blood sugar tried to go up today at like 715 Probably when she was waking up. And this thing has been hammering at her for two hours and did it do a great job as she back where she was when she woke up at like 85 She's not but she's been 120 to 130 the entire time and she has not intervened. So she's at school. Being a school person, and this thing is is holding her here. My my idea about my idea about understanding diabetes, and knowing how to handle any situation versus once you have that understanding what day to day looks like. That idea is maturing for me. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying, I'm not saying that everything I've said before is bull, I'm not saying that what I'm saying is that if while my daughter's in college, she lives some days with a 121 10 121 25, blood sugar for six hours with stability and doesn't get low later. I'm gonna call that a win.

Wendy 1:15:37
So and that, and that is definitely a concession you have to make, because while it could be perfect, they're already making so many decisions a day. And it does lessen the amount of decisions that we're making. Yeah. You know, because both of mine are in the middle of puberty right now. And I couldn't imagine what their agency will be like, without looping. No, no, my stress levels.

Scott Benner 1:16:00
And all that becomes incredibly important. And again, if you if you told me right now, Scott, go make her blood sugar 85 and keep it there, I could do it in two seconds. Like, that's not my point. And I will, at some point today say to her, hey, look, you know, you could have just made a Bolus right here. And this would have been, this would have been enough, you know, you could have you could have chopped 2025 points out of this number, it wouldn't have been difficult you and you wouldn't get low later. And but that's going to be the next level right now. We're probably only about six or eight months into the after the conversation that art and I had where we were like, Alright, look, you're going to college this year. Let's just, I'm gonna step out of this pretty far. You go ahead and go. And she's been, you know, working it out on her own, and it's gone incredibly well. So, you know, people are always like, How was she going to do it one day, if you've been involved? And the answer was, you won't

Wendy 1:16:58
you haven't? Like, while you've been involved, you haven't been taking it over completely. So you're involved, but you're still teaching her.

Scott Benner 1:17:06
She's heard everything. I've cognitively said everything out loud for years so that she'd be involved in conversation. So yeah, the transition was actually pretty easy.

Wendy 1:17:18
Actually, one of my biggest fears when Aiden was having heart surgery was his blood sugar. I think I was more concerned about his blood sugar than anything. And the anesthesiologist who's kind of in charge of doing all the stuff in the surgery, I was like, well, he's gonna leave his pump and Dexcom off. Because he's looping and he was like, my wife is type one. That's awesome. No problem. Yeah. And they took his phone right in there into the car. And, you know, they, they contacted me if they needed to do anything. And when he was in recovery, which was hilarious, he, he came into recovery. And they're like, Aiden, would you like some ice chips, and he's like, I'd like a burger and fries. I miss breakfast. And they're like, you're in recovery, maybe ice chips. He's like, I want a burger and fries. They got it for him, and he ate it. Oh, that's amazing. Good for him. But the anesthesiologist, he was like, what pump is sent again? So by the end of the surgery, I think he was interested in you know, getting his wife looping. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:18:18
Well, I completely I, first of all, I love how many options there are now. It's, it's fantastic. Like not everybody is obviously going to build their own yourself algorithm. But between control IQ, next generation control IQ on the pod five, which I haven't laid my hands on, yep. But works, I think, at its core differently than some of these other ones. You know, Medtronic is going to whip out another one at some point, I would imagine. All these options are nothing but good news for people. So they are

Wendy 1:18:49
I mean, if you have to have a sucky disease, it's a good time to have it.

Scott Benner 1:18:52
Yeah, that's for sure. All right. Well, yeah. Wendy, thank you so much for doing this. I appreciate you taking the time. And I hope you appreciate that. I didn't ask you to do that Lucky Charms commercial and Google redundance. Basically.

Wendy 1:19:06
I know I don't use Irish Spring soap. Well, no. Why? Well, yes. And yes, I did kiss the Blarney Stone.

Scott Benner 1:19:15
I guess I would if I was there, right. Yeah, people don't pee on it today.

Wendy 1:19:22
It is an old bathroom. Sorry to tell you. Well, then we make tourists kiss it all day long. So it's amazing.

Scott Benner 1:19:30
I think you're just laughing No. Okay. Well, thank you. I thank you very much. First, I'd like to thank Wendy for coming on the show and sharing her story with us. And then I want to thank Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor and remind you to go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box for everything you need to know about Dexcom and even if you'd like to get started with If that's where you do it at my link, same goes for Omni pod five and on the pod dash on the pod.com forward slash juice box, head over there right now and get started. Do not delay, easy to Bliss, automated. It's all waiting for you. Omni pod.com forward slash juice box links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. A few quick things don't forget to go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. And take the survey. Also, we have the private Facebook group for the podcast Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes over 30,000 members right now there's a conversation happening right now in that Facebook group that I swear to you be incredibly interested in just anything you click on. Oh, you want to do it together? You don't believe I can hear that. You don't believe me? If I'm hearing you, Ben. Alright, ready? I'm just gonna roll through real quick. Got a lot of people celebrating diabetes Awareness Month. That's very nice. Did you know November is diabetes Awareness Month? Well, it is. Here's a person who asked me a question about their child who is staying low, even though they're giving them juice boxes 40 minutes old. That's how old the the the witty hot. The post is. There's already nine comments. Scrolling, do you have to wear on the pod five and Dexcom on the same side of the body? If you're interested in knowing the answer to that, and you don't know, you put a little post up in the Facebook group and boom in 53 minutes, you've got a conversation that already has six responses. Here's a cute picture of a small child who had a couple of unicorns today lovely reached 3000 People in the just the last two hours here's an adult who's sick and looking for help with their blood sugar's oh my god, this child is adorable. Who put this kitten here are using deluded human blog and talking about it here with a bunch of people. It's another adult talking about type two diabetes. Somebody asked me for help with AMI pod five. Here's a person talking about how to use their pharmacy and people are helping them. Here's a looper celebrating their blood sugar 25 people and a conversation that is now been going on for two days. Talking about where people get someplace person says they use us med it's just it goes on and on. At the top of the page. There's a feature tab all of the different series within the podcast and the feature tap diabetes variables diabetes pro tip here, variables pro tip Quickstart episodes how we eat. Ask Scott and Jenny defining thyroid type two diabetes stories. Oh my god there's all the ask Scott and Jenny's are laid out here in case you wanna know what the topics were. Here's a bunch of episodes about bolusing for fat and protein. Popular episode list. Here's 20 episodes of me talking with children 10 episodes about disordered eating. Talking about celiac and diabetes nine episodes. There's like all these defining diabetes 44 episodes of defining diabetes on a list right here in the feature tab. I can't just go over there. Facebook. You know, Facebook. You've heard of it before. Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

#788 Bold Beginnings: Family

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Test your knowledge of episode 788

1. Why is it important to have a personalized diabetes management plan?

2. How often should blood sugar levels be monitored during illness?

3. What is the role of basal insulin in diabetes management?

4. Why is it important to stay informed about new diabetes research?

5. How does regular physical activity benefit people with diabetes?

6. What should be done if blood sugar levels are high during illness?

7. Why is stress management important in diabetes care?

8. What is the best approach to handle a low blood sugar episode during exercise?

#787 Big Feelings

Katy has a lot of big feelings.

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#786 The Full Irish

Wendy has two children with type 1 diabetes. Her son has other issues as well.

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