#1873 Bend with Zevi
Sabrina discusses her vigilant approach to managing her two-year-old son Zevi’s Type 1 diabetes. Listen as she navigates diluted insulin, looping, and "vibe bolusing" a toddler.
Key Takeaways
- Trust Your Parental Instincts: Sabrina's persistence at the pediatrician and the ER, despite doctors initially dismissing Zevi's symptoms, ultimately saved his life from a fatal DKA event.
- Toddler Management Requires Flexibility: Managing a toddler's unpredictable eating habits is challenging. Strategies like "vibe bolusing," using diluted U-10 insulin, and breaking down snacks to match insulin action times can help maintain stable blood sugars.
- The Power and Fatigue of Technology: Tools like CGMs and looping algorithms offer incredible insights and tighter control (like Zevi's 5.3 A1C), but the constant stream of data requires parents to manage their own mental fatigue.
- Illnesses Drastically Impact Insulin Needs: Common childhood illnesses, and even hidden ones like RSV or parasites, can cause sudden and massive shifts in insulin resistance and daily needs.
- Accept Your Management Phase: Hyper-vigilant diabetes management may be absolutely necessary during the toddler years, but it's important to recognize that this phase is temporary and strategies must evolve as the child grows.
Resources Mentioned
- ABLE Now: ablenow.com
- US Med: usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514
- Omnipod 5: omnipod.com/juicebox
- Small Sips Series: juiceboxpodcast.com (Click on "Series")
- Wrong Way Recording: wrongwayrecording.com
- Juice Box Podcast Private Facebook Group: Search "Juice Box Podcast, type 1 diabetes" on Facebook
Introduction & Sponsors
Scott BennerWelcome back, friends. You are listening to the Juice Box podcast.
SabrinaHi. I'm Sabrina, Zevi's mom, and we're here talking about my son.
Scott BennerHave you tried the small sip series? They're curated takeaways from the Juice Box podcast voted on by listeners as the most helpful insights for managing their diabetes. These bite sized pieces of wisdom cover essential topics like insulin timing, carb management, and balancing highs and lows, making it easier for you to incorporate real life strategies into your daily routine. Dive deep, take a sip, and discover what our community finds most valuable on the journey to better diabetes management. For more information on small sips, go to juiceboxpodcast.com. Click on the word series in the menu.
Scott BennerWhile you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. This episode is sponsored by Able Now, tax advantaged savings accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities. If you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify for an Able account because of ongoing medical needs, and many people in the diabetes community do.
Scott BennerWith ABLE Now, you can save for future expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid. Learn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. You spell that ablenow.com. Today's episode is also sponsored by usmed.com/juicebox. You can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do, and I'm talking about Dexcom, Libre, Omnipod, Tandem, and so much more.
Scott BennerUsmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. The podcast is also sponsored today by Omnipod five. Omnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a one c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections. Learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox. At my link, you can get a free starter kit right now.
Scott BennerTerms and conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox.
Meet Sabrina and Zevi
SabrinaHi. I'm Sabrina, Zevi's mom, and we're here talking about my son.
Scott BennerHis name is say again?
SabrinaZevi. Zevi. Like, Zev, but legally, it's Zevi with an I.
Scott BennerLike, drove the Zevi to the levy, but the levy was drunk?
SabrinaYeah. Exactly that.
Speaker 3Gotcha.
SabrinaI never even thought about that, but yes.
Scott BennerOh, that's nice.
SabrinaYeah. Now I'm gonna have to play that song to him.
Scott BennerHow old is Zevi?
SabrinaHe's two and a half.
Scott BennerWow. And your first?
SabrinaMy first and only. Yes.
Scott BennerYour first why the only part?
SabrinaHe's just spectacular, and I can't imagine. I don't know.
Scott BennerWon't need another one.
SabrinaYeah. I don't need another one. He's he's I'm also 40 years old, but not you know? I don't know. He's just everything that I could imagine.
Scott BennerThat's lovely.
SabrinaThe most spectacular little boy. Nice.
Scott BennerHow do you get to being pregnant when you're 38? What's the pathway to that?
SabrinaWell, everyone thought I think I was gonna be just, like, an old maid, never married, and met my husband kinda late and got pregnant. We started trying about three, two months after getting married because everyone told me it was gonna take, like it could take a year. Got pregnant, like, almost immediately.
Scott BennerRuined that for your husband. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SabrinaSo Jokes on him. On me.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah. So
Sabrinaand I was very up in the air about, like, even during labor, I was like, get them out of me. Like, I I didn't know if I wanted I love kids. I was very on the fence of, like, do I wanna have a child? Because I was 37 years old at the time. he he was born, like, two months before I turned 38.
Scott BennerSo That's I I talk about that for a second. That's a long time to, like, settle into what life is. Right? And then suddenly
SabrinaFor sure. No. I was
Scott BennerYou let the boy in, and then you let the boy in for real, and then you have baby come out.
Speaker 3Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. I'm very I mean, I dated a lot, and I'm very just comfortable in my life and independence and but also desperately wanted to meet someone and then kinda gave up on that in a certain way of just, like, I'm just gonna enjoy myself. And then pandemic hit, and we met, and just very, like, natural progression.
Scott BennerWere you disappointed or happy when he turned out to be somebody you could marry?
SabrinaOh, no. Very I we said I love you within two weeks. It was, like, very, it felt very natural. I don't know. Like
Scott BennerJust felt good.
SabrinaYeah. It it was very easy. And I had been on some you know, been through so many things where it just felt, like, hard.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd it's not supposed to be hard. It's supposed to just feel like you know the person. Yeah. No. I I I I wasn't, like, forcing anything.
SabrinaI didn't have, like, a timeline. You know? I just wanted to be married to my best friend. I think it was at the end of the day, you know you know, I
Scott BennerNo, like God. Anger or sadness that it didn't happen sooner, or you're just happy it happened?
SabrinaNo. Not at all.
Scott BennerGood for you.
SabrinaI was, I mean, for me personally, I don't think I could have shown up as a mother and what in the same way in my twenties or even early thirties.
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaI I needed to, like, travel all over the world and grow my business and just get more and more confident in who I am Mhmm. If that makes sense. I yeah.
Scott BennerYou're an only child?
SabrinaNo. I'm the youngest of four
Scott BennerWow. Oh, youngest of four.
SabrinaYeah. I'm the youngest of four.
Scott BennerYou grew up. Nobody was even paying attention to you.
SabrinaNo. Everyone paid attention to me. Really?
Scott BennerTell tell tell me a little more.
SabrinaIt was just kind of the running you know, I'm yeah. I don't know. I was I was like my mom's tag along and always spent time with my parents. And, you know, I was very big into sports, and I don't know. I just kinda I was, like, a nerd, but, like, a sporty nerd and just kinda, like, kept myself in certain ways.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaBut, no, I'm I'm very much the baby of the family and in the good ways and the bad ways of, like, of course, you're saying that Sabrina. You know, that kinda
Scott BennerYeah. The three are like, you know, I don't know what she's talking about. I I believe this summer, I will be married for thirty years.
Speaker 3Mhmm.
Scott BennerAnd last night, my wife we we're getting ready. I just built, a recording studio in an office.
SabrinaOh, nice.
Scott BennerYeah. To to move everything into it. So it's up to the part now where we're getting it painted.
SabrinaOkay.
Scott BennerAnd my wife just come we're not talking about it at all. Like, it's not happening. She walks into the room and she says, oh, you know, the guy's coming over to paint soon. And I said, yeah. She goes, I was just in the powder room.
Scott BennerI stepped right in front of her sentence and I said, on the left side, there's a piece of trim on the wainscoting that needs to be caulked underneath. And she goes, oh my god. How did you know that? I said, well, sweetheart, we've been together for thirty years. I was like, you don't think that you and I see things, like, kinda the same way now?
Scott BennerWhich is frightening because we are completely different kinds of people. Yeah. And this is not an easy it's not like there's a giant crack on the wall. I there's Yeah. A tiny little line underneath of a lip that if I'm being honest with you, you pretty much have to be leaning forward while you were sitting on the toilet to see.
SabrinaI I'm gonna say, I you it's the details. It's the it's every I I get it. No. I yeah.
Scott BennerMy wife, like, she looked like like a little girl for a half a second when she looked at me. Almost like she was like, oh, this is a good guy. Like, that was it's a weird it's weird where you see, like, things like that kinda pop up after you've been together for a really long time. Anyway, I said, see, we we agree on all kinds of stuff. And she goes, don't get carried away.
Scott BennerAnd I was like, oh, okay. So so, anyway, so baby goes in, starts cooking, comes out. Was the pregnancy easy?
SabrinaEasy, medically speaking. I just was so nauseous and morning sickness all day every day pretty much until he came out of me.
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaAnd it would just was instantly gone. But it was very tough. Like, I felt like I was, like, dying for two months in the beginning, barely got out of bed, which is, like, big for me because I'm very active.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd then slowly kinda got a little bit better. But but, no, I I mean, I'm I'm not exaggerating when I say, like, during labor. I'm even my mom was in the room with us, and she's a photographer. So she was like, this is, like, her Super Bowl.
Speaker 3She's, like, finally yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. She's, like, in there. Well, he's like, I'm pushing. He's almost out. And the the the midwife, I use a midwife at the hospital, and she was like, oh, you can't record this.
SabrinaShe was like, oh, okay. To my head, I'm going, oh, she's gonna record this.
Scott BennerNo. Of course, I won't. Don't worry about it. It'll be yeah. Yeah.
SabrinaBut, no, I'm literally yelling her, like, going, just get it out of me. Like, I don't even want this. You know?
Scott BennerGive it back. Did someone keep a receipt? Yeah. Yeah. No.
SabrinaI it was Good. Yeah. So, I mean, that was I've been back and forth for almost the whole pregnancy of, like, I think I want this. I don't know. And then as soon as he came out, I was like, oh my god.
SabrinaHe's just amazing.
Scott BennerSo that that's what gets thrown inside you. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Autoimmune Issues & Experimenting with GLP-1s
Scott BennerSo husband's side, your side, we're looking for any autoimmune issues, anything like that?
SabrinaAutoimmune is my side. Only recently have we real like, so my mom is celiac, kinda started around COVID, and she's had a lot of health complications. But before that, not really. Like, no die I mean, my dad has, like he he's not he doesn't mean he doesn't take care of himself very well. So he has kind of, like, teetered on, like, that you know, being diabetic type two
Scott BennerType two.
SabrinaOn and off.
Speaker 3Yeah. But
Sabrinanot it it's not, you know, it's not type one, and it's we don't have
Scott BennerThyroid? Vitiligo?
SabrinaKind of. See, that's the thing is I didn't realize how many autoimmune issues there were until I started to understand autoimmune.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaSo my sister one of my sisters has Hashimoto's. Mhmm. And but she was diagnosed, you know, three, four, I don't know how many years ago. So it wasn't it wasn't always, like, on the forefront. I didn't grow up with it thinking, like, oh, this is you know, I was I kinda stumbled on my autoimmune.
SabrinaI have, like, a tissue disease. It's called, like, limited sclerosis. Okay. But I don't have present as, like, many normal symptoms, but I just have, like, a lot of, like, joint and muscle pain, which is a whole other conversation in your podcast actually.
Speaker 3Mhmm.
SabrinaKinda, like, opened my eyes to, like, using something that I'm we're, like, experimenting with right now, GLP one, which is wild. Oh. Yeah. And I have, like, absolutely no weight to lose, So it's I am micro go microdosing the microdose.
Scott BennerTo see.
SabrinaAnd it's still affecting me almost too much. Like, I've lost too much weight in two weeks.
Scott BennerYeah. You just gotta keep eating.
Speaker 3You
Sabrinajust eat. Very I am so I felt like I'm pregnant again, honestly. And it's like I'm, like, force feeding my yeah. It's it's been very hard.
Scott BennerI have to tell you that last night, Arden's finishing up a semester, so she had, like, tests yesterday. She comes home. She's wrecked. Right? She's like, have a headache.
Scott BennerI I didn't eat. Like, I'm like, you know, Kelly's like, I'm hungry. I was I was like, oh, I could eat. And then I get a text about, like, what do you want? This text chain is clearly showing everyone that no one's cooking.
Scott BennerRight? Like, someone's Yeah. Trying to figure out where to go get food. I just want some dead flesh. I don't really care what it is.
Scott BennerEven my son was like, I'm in because, you know, he usually is like, no. You people, like, I'll eat on my own. But we stood around trying to imagine what to eat, and everybody was like, I don't know. I don't know. Like, nobody could and it's the GLP.
Scott BennerLike, everybody's like, I don't know.
SabrinaWell, the the intention for me is it's supposed to there's a theory that it's supposed to reduce inflammation.
Scott BennerRight.
SabrinaAnd everything it just feels like I ran a marathon every day for, like, the past almost two years. Mhmm. And I haven't I mean, I have done some kind of workout during the day, but, like, nothing like I you know, I'm taking if the lowest dose, I think it's, like, two point five is, like, the smallest.
Speaker 3Mhmm.
SabrinaI'm taking one point two five, and I still think it's too much.
Scott BennerHow are you injecting it?
SabrinaJust in my belly. And I which is a good thing in some ways because I'm showing Zevi because we don't really give him, maybe giving him two or three injections Mhmm. Since the hospital before he got he got his pump in the hospital.
Scott BennerSaying, are you drawing it out with, like, an insulin needle?
SabrinaI'm drawing it out. Yeah. I'm using, like, my little, like yeah. I'm with our syringes.
Scott BennerYeah. I mean, are you try have you tried less, like, than even the can?
SabrinaI tried even less this past week. Yeah. Okay. I have a meet I have an appointment today with the endo, but, it it's just kind of yeah. It's like a really a rheumatology issue, but we're going this route just to, like, an experiment for, like, a month or so.
Scott BennerNo. Sure. Do you think it's touching anything?
SabrinaI kinda do because I don't feel the achiness in, like, my knees and my ankles as much. And but it's it's hard. I I just can't in some ways, I feel a little bit better. In other ways, I'm you know, my sleep is, you know, pretty disjointed Mhmm. Natur you know, normally now.
SabrinaSo
Scott BennerYeah. Because of the vape. Yeah.
SabrinaI don't know. It's you know? Yeah. But I never even thought about it until all your episodes because I was researching, not that Zevi would use it right now, but, like, maybe, you know, in the future, it would be something that would reduce, you know, his insulin needs.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd and then I kept kinda, like, going down a rabbit hole and then kinda stumbled on, and I presented it to the rheumatologist. She's like, I don't feel comfortable. Like, I don't know anything about it, but will you reach out to the endo? And immediately, she was like, let's try that. That sounds, you know, sounds okay.
SabrinaLet's try it. Yeah. I'm I'm willing.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. And you're listen. I'm gonna make a leap here, if I'm wrong, I'll slap my own hand. But some anxiety for you?
SabrinaI'm a neurotic Jew. Yeah. I'm I'm
Scott BennerI didn't wanna say it. When I heard Zevi, I was like, I know what's going on here. But I get it.
SabrinaI I'm very I I'm, like, the most chill anxious person you'll ever meet. I could care less about so many things, but, yeah, I'm just naturally you know, I'm very type a. So yeah. No. I
Scott BennerSo let let me share something with people. So when you you pop you all you guys, when you come on to record, like, we talk for a a few minutes before we start. It's mostly to get technical stuff together. And you popped on and I could see you, which is not everybody is even, like, has a camera on and I'm you're sitting in front of a laptop. So I don't want you doing that because it doesn't sound good.
Scott BennerAnd so I'm trying to pick through what's going on and I realized that you're on your laptop because you want to be able to watch your son's blood sugar on your phone.
Sponsors & Supplies Break
Scott BennerAs I told you earlier, Able Now is sponsoring this episode. Able Now, of course, tax advantaged Able accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities. If you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify for an ABLE account because of ongoing medical needs. Many people in the diabetes community do.
Scott BennerWith ABLE now, you can save for future expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid. And thanks to updates to federal law, ABLE accounts are now available to more people than ever before. That means more individuals and families can use ABLE now to save and invest. Funds in an ABLE now account can be used for a wide range of everyday needs, including education, transportation, health care, assistive technology, and more. There's no enrollment fee, and you can open an Able Now account with a small initial contribution and build from there.
Scott BennerLearn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. That's ablenow.com, ablenow.com.
Scott BennerI used to hate ordering my daughter's diabetes supplies. I never had a good experience, and it was frustrating. But it hasn't been that way for a while, actually, for about three years now because that's how long we've been using US Med.
Scott BennerUsmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. US Med is the number one distributor for Freestyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omnipod Dash, the number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, the number one rated distributor in Dexcom customer satisfaction surveys. They have served over one million people with diabetes since 1996, and they always provide ninety days worth of supplies and fast and free shipping. US Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMs, like the Libre three and Dexcom g seven.
Scott BennerThey accept Medicare nationwide and over 800 private insurers. Find out why US Med has an a plus rating with the Better Business Bureau at usmed.com/juicebox, or just call them at (888) 721-1514. Get started right now, and you'll be getting your supplies the same way we do.
Managing Toddler Blood Sugars & "Vibe Bolusing"
SabrinaOh, yeah. I don't stop watching it. I didn't I mean, it's been, like, a whole thing even, like, at the yoga studio I go to is I I, you know, I wrap it in a T shirt and I, like, hide it. Because I we loop, so, like, I can see everything now. The other you know, beforehand, it was, like, harder, like, you know, following is, you know, the technology.
SabrinaI find that, yes, as much as I need the mental break, well, like, for that hour, I'm swimming or working out or whatever. Like, I get, like, one hour every twenty four hours kinda to myself. Yeah. Maybe. I find that I'm able to step in and take over and manage him so much better when I've been watching the trend.
SabrinaLike, okay. I know that he had this for breakfast. How did it affect him when I gave him eleven units today instead of twelve units? But I gave him two blackberries, you know, before I left, and now he's now he's five points. Okay.
SabrinaMaybe if I gave him this, and I'd like I don't know. It's like an experiment every day. But I people I
Scott BennerDiluted insulin so they're not confused while you're talking.
SabrinaYeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That's a huge thing.
SabrinaSo he's on u ten diluted. He's been on that since diagnosis. As much as every you know, I've it's been encouraged like, oh, well, maybe it could go, you know, go to u 25. Our pump regularly throughout the night will give point zero five, you know, just to kinda keep them stable. And I give him point one.
SabrinaI probably give him seventy doses throughout the day. Like Oh. Big doses, tiny doses. I manage it like I'm the algorithm.
Scott BennerOh, you you're gonna make yourself crazy.
SabrinaI'm gonna make myself crazy. But he's, you know, for the most part minus here or there, he's pretty stable, and it's very hard anticipating a toddler. I know eventually it won't be this difficult. But but yes. No.
SabrinaI, I am his pump.
Scott BennerYeah. Well, listen. I did it for a long time too. I can't I can't scold you. So Yeah.
Scott BennerHow come while we were getting set up, your your husband's with him? And that just in the last fifteen minutes, you've described this boy as, like, perfect. This you've met him. You knew right away he's your best friend, blah blah blah. And then you just need an hour to talk to me and you don't you can't trust it?
Scott BennerOr what's the thing? Today's episode is brought to you by Omnipod. We talk a lot about ways to lower your a one c on this podcast. Did you know that the Omnipod five was shown to lower a one c? That's right.
Scott BennerOmnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system, and it was shown to significantly improve a one c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they switched from daily injections. My daughter is about to turn 21 years old, and she has been wearing an Omnipod every day since she was four. It has been a friend to our family, and I think it could be a friend to yours. If you're ready to try Omnipod five for yourself or your family, use my link now to get started. Omnipod.com/juicebox.
Scott BennerGet that free Omnipod five starter kit today. Terms and conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox.
SabrinaYeah. Well well, we just had a little I don't even know. I there's been, I think, three nights since we've been home from the I mean, he's been he this has been going on now. We've we're on, like, over a year and a half now of of diabetes stuff. One time, I was so sleep deprived after the hospital.
SabrinaI think two weeks in, I dosed him eight units diluted instead of eight carbs, and that completely that was the most insulin we'd ever given him. So we were, like, having, like, a complete I mean, granted that's, like, a quarter of a banana in the middle of the night. You know? Like, even that's even too much. And then last night, what I had kinda mentioned was and my husband woke me up to be like, there was a 192 carbs were inputted.
SabrinaI don't even know how because I only dosed him point two. So I think that it somehow, like, with the phone, because I leave the his transmitter open, I don't even I still I can't try to figure I'm trying to, like, recreate it because it even gives you a warning. Like, are you sure you wanna do this? And I'd have to press yes. And, like, that's not how I dose him at night, so I'm still confused.
SabrinaSo we're fighting a low blood sugar right now. So not watching his sugars is
Scott BennerK. Couple things.
SabrinaI don't know. Yeah.
Scott BennerHow low is he?
SabrinaHe went I mean, the Dexcom was saying 42, but I was starting to feed him half a juice box grapes leading up to that. It's just, ten units in the middle of the night is a lot diluted again.
Scott BennerDo you want to look right now and take the phone away and check his blood sugar? Go ahead.
SabrinaSays fifty five. Hold on. He Leo's probably okay. But all his POPs were you know you know, it that's that's the issue with technology. Right?
SabrinaSo Dexcom could say 51, and he was at 68. You know? So I'm constantly cal you know, recalibrating.
Speaker 3Oh.
SabrinaBut he he should be okay right now. We gave him some maple syrup, which we almost never give in his gum. So it was
Scott BennerHow long has he had diabetes now?
SabrinaSo he was diagnosed at 10 old. So it was 09/20/2024.
Scott BennerWhat do you what do you weigh at 10 old?
SabrinaOh my gosh. I should know this. He's twenty
Scott Bennersix
Sabrinapounds right now. I don't even know. Nineteen eighteen eighteen pounds? I don't even know. Wow.
Zevi's Harrowing Diagnosis Story
SabrinaThat's too much. I don't know. Yeah. Pounds? I mean, tiny.
SabrinaHe I had noticed maybe, like, about four days beforehand, five days, I remember him napping.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd I kinda like or he was, like, playing around like, kinda rolling around, and I was like, man, you're kinda, like, losing some of your baby weight. You know? Mhmm. And I could, like, kinda, like, see his rib cage a little bit more, and he's he's my husband's side. But in terms of, like, you know, he has, like, you know, little chubby cheeks, and his arms have some, like, cushion to him, and he's just ugh.
SabrinaYou just wanna squeeze him.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaAnd I didn't really think anything of it. You know? We honestly stumbled. Like, I had no idea. Like, I didn't even know what diabetes was, if I'm being frank.
SabrinaI I truly had no idea what insulin was. This was I laughed when our pediatrician I brought him in. So it was I think on a Thursday, he started having this, like, you know, the breathing.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd I thought that because he had fallen into, like, his playmat. And I was like, man, maybe he, like, punctured a lung. You know? I'm like a first time parent, so everything's like I don't know. You know?
Scott BennerI hear you. He probably fell and got some crazy disease. Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. Yeah. Exactly. Mhmm. So I'm you know?
SabrinaBut at the same time, I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm with him every second of the day. So I'm just watching him. But that afternoon, we live very close to the beach. So I walked him down to the beach, and he's, like, crawling into my lap to, like, lay down
Speaker 3Mhmm.
SabrinaLike, the whole time. And I'm going and he's, like, falling asleep. Like, we had just woken up from a nap. He's, like, doing his head shaking, like, to fall back asleep. And I say to my husband, like, I something does not feel right.
SabrinaLike, I I I don't this doesn't make sense to me. Like, what is his breathing? Like, his belly? Like, does he does he have RSV? That's what also popped in my head.
SabrinaSo I reached out to his pediatrician. We went in that Friday morning worried, you know, about Monday morning. Like, if I waited the whole weekend, and what if he had a virus? You know? Not that you can really do for anything for a virus, but never you know,
Scott Bennernevertheless So You don't wanna get stuck over the weekend not having access.
SabrinaSo I we I took him in, and I actually let him nap in the car on the way to the p d like, I was driving circles trying to get him back to sleep. Mhmm. And then I took him in, and and he was, like, you know, awake. And they're like, I was apologizing, Gwen. I know I'm wasting your time.
SabrinaI'm really sorry for, like, rushing in. You know? And there he the doctor came in, and he was just stumped. And he's just sitting there. He's, like, googling.
SabrinaAnd he looked at me and goes, yeah. You he either needs a chest X-ray or he is diabetic. And I, like, laughed. I was like, he's not diabetic. What are you even talking about?
SabrinaYou know?
Scott BennerLook at his little chubby cheeks. I know. Yeah. Yeah.
SabrinaLittle chubby cheeks. And and I was going to rush home because so and then bad news, their test strips had expired because they never checked blood sugar in their office. So they tried, like, three different times, and everything wasn't working. And I was gonna run home to grab a glucose, like, meter that I had from pregnancy because I refused to do the glucose drink. So I was just checking my sugar.
Scott BennerSo wait. So you took you took the doctor seriously? Because it's funny because
SabrinaNo. I took the doctor seriously. I he said, he goes, you need to go to the emergency room right now. I'm gonna call Mission. And I say, okay.
Scott BennerI just think it's interesting because you again, I know you for twenty three minutes.
SabrinaBut Yeah.
Speaker 3You feel No. I usually don't listen.
Scott BennerYeah. If you feel like a person even would've looked and been like, this asshole's googling. He has no idea what he's talking about. I'll get out of here and figure this out on my own. But
Sabrinayou Yeah. No. I I no. I I normally, I'd be like, I'm not really gonna do that, but okay. But I get in the car, and I start, you know, kinda like like, my mind's running.
SabrinaAnd he had fallen asleep on the way to, of course, because he's a DKA, to the hospital. And I even let him, like, sleep for a few minutes in the car seat, and then I, like, was like, I I should take him in. Like, I you know? Mhmm. We get in.
SabrinaWe're in triage. They're trying to tell me to go home. They're like, nothing is wrong with him. He is so healthy. You should go home.
SabrinaYou're gonna waste your time. And I was like, my doctor really, really, really wanted me to get his blood sugar checked. Can you just do that or chest X-ray, you know, and or Yeah. They're like, truly, you're wasting your time. But if you really wanna wait, okay.
Scott BennerSabrina, neuroses to the rescue.
SabrinaI know. Thank god.
Scott BennerRight? The boy is gonna kill you. But it saved the boy.
SabrinaNo. I I mean, I because he perk you would have he hides it very well. Like, it's very hard to know when he's not feeling well Sure. Which yeah. So, anyway, so my husband shows up.
SabrinaWe're just kinda playing in the, like, kid's room. An hour goes by. I have probably bothered them, I don't even know, three or four times. Like, can you please check the blood sugar? Can you plea you know?
SabrinaMhmm. Can you please do this? They come in. They for COVID, everything else. We go back into the little, whatever, you know, lab area, and they check, and I see five forty pop up.
SabrinaAnd I'm like, I don't understand anything about blood sugar. Right?
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaAnd I'm like, but that doesn't that doesn't make sense because that's not what my blood sugar was when I was checking it. Right?
Scott BennerSo you had something to compare
Sabrinait conscious person. Like, I under I I know wellness. But I this was, like, so out of my wheelhouse of, like, he's a baby. I don't know. You know?
SabrinaAnd they think their machines are broken. So they rush us to another room, and then it's even higher. And then all of sudden, it just so we went from
Scott BennerYou should go home. To where where where little Zebi would have probably died in his crib, by the way. And Yeah. Yeah. Right.
SabrinaHe would have he probably would have died within a few hours. Yeah.
Speaker 3Jeez.
SabrinaAnd you would have no idea because he was just, like, you know, smiling and playing with us for the most part, you know, other than the you know, one of the ER doctors came in being like, this is impossible. You know? And then I they must have called, the Children's Hospital, and they didn't even want a chance taking him in an ambulance, so we, got helicoptered over there.
Scott BennerThey went from sending you home to putting him in a helicopter.
SabrinaI know. Yeah. No. It was very, he was I, like, I don't sit back and think about I mean, I think about it in, like, when I'm, like, snuggling him at night kinda thing. You know?
SabrinaYeah. I just don't, yeah. I I Serena, that would Worst worst afternoon of
Speaker 3my life.
Scott BennerYeah. Okay. Well, the worst days when you met the boy because that's what put this all into emotion. But you you were so okay by yourself, by the way, dating a lot, having a good time. You probably had a fabulous little place you lived in.
Scott BennerAnd, right?
SabrinaBut Yes. No. I I loved my house.
Managing Expectations & Navigating Burnout
Scott BennerWhat kind of business? You said you have your own business. We had a like, what type of business is it?
SabrinaSo I'm a writer by trade, but COVID really changed. So I always stopped, like
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaDoing, like, marketing con you know, I'm a I I have, rental properties. So I have, like, a little, like, you know, rental landlord business of sorts that allows me I'm, like, full time mom. But
Scott Benneryou.
Speaker 3That's
Sabrinaawesome. Of you know, I can work from my phone unless I have a move out clean or something or, you know, there's a sewage leak in a unit, which happened a year and a half ago.
Scott BennerI was gonna say you didn't just make that up.
SabrinaNo. That was a whole thing. But very few days a year do I, you know, leave Zebi for, you know, five, six hours to to get to a property if I can't, you know, obviously take him in those kind of situations.
Scott BennerHow how much of his diagnosis story fuels how you are today, or is this how you would be? I'm And not judging you, but is
Sabrinathis This is how I would be, but it, honestly, I you know? I mean, trust me. It's like a cons I people criticize. I I appreciate how I am because I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to manage him. I mean, listen.
SabrinaCompared to it's incredibly challenging with an infant. It's incredibly challenging with a toddler. I mean, the the couple hiccups the last couple weeks have been going to his friends and then setting them setting, like, snacks out and, like, not understanding how much is he gonna eat of that and then bolusing too much and then not bolusing enough and Yeah. Just got you know, just it's very chaotic feeling. It's not, like, enjoyable, you know, for me.
Scott BennerYou are gonna go through every station of diabetes almost. Like, every freaking one of them.
SabrinaAnd I understand every different, like, phase has its own challenges Yeah. For sure. I mean, I've seen the different it's but in a nor you know, I mean, the kid eat I mean, we we stay away from wheat products. I just find grain to be so difficult to manage. I mean, we I mean, we've stayed up ten hours one night after pizza.
SabrinaIt was just like, this is not worthwhile in my, like, my opinion. It's it's so chaotic, and then it the fear of low you know, of, like, a really a dangerous low.
Scott BennerWell, it's such a a small amount of insulin too that does such a big it has such a big impact on Exactly.
SabrinaI mean, an extra point one can if you're last summer, we were my parents live in Michigan, and we were out there for a week. And we weren't looping at that time. We were on just the the o p five.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAudi pi five. And in the middle of the night, I I out of nowhere, his Dexcom wasn't connected. It was like a brief sensor issue. And for some reason, the pump was giving him audible listening point 3.2, point two, which is not, again, diluted. So that's point zero three, point zero two, like, teeny amounts of insulin.
SabrinaBut for him in the middle of the night, it's massive. And I didn't wake up to an alarm until he was around 60, gave some juice, didn't stop, was 44, and then I finger pricked, and he was 22.
Scott BennerCan we take a left turn for a half a second? For those of you listening who don't know Jewish people, some of my wording will sound weird to you. But Jews in Michigan. So, like and Zevi, are you guys, like, Ashkenazi or Hasidic?
SabrinaNo. Not at all. No. Not religious whatsoever. Yeah.
SabrinaNo. We're, we're Ashkenazi. I'm, very culturally Jewish. Both sides of my family are, like, very Jew like, Jewy of Jew, but not, you know, at the most reformed temple. Zevi means wolf, which was, like, I each family member in my family like, growing up, we had, like, these animals at our lake house, like, painted on a cabin, and I was the wolf.
SabrinaIt was kind of thrown out as a suggestion by my mom for a name, and I only know of one Zevi.
Scott BennerOkay. Because you threw me when you popped on the camera, that was your hair. And then you said his name was Zevi, I was like, none of this is making sense to me. So I and by the way, my friends who are listening who are Jewish are so proud of me right now for pulling this apart. And the rest of you are so confused.
Scott BennerSo I'm sorry. Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. So confused. Yeah. So confused.
Scott BennerBut okay. Alright. Oh, okay. Awesome. So you just like the name?
SabrinaOh, I just love the name. Yeah. I just thought it was unique, and it it in Hebrew, it's, like, stands for loyalty and family.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd I wanted to name it name him in a way, like, honor my dad's parents.
Scott BennerOh, nice.
SabrinaHad not yet been, like, recognized for by the other grand shit, like, in their names.
Scott BennerOh, I see.
SabrinaAnd they were very, very family oriented, very loyal. Like, that was kind of, you know, what, you know, defined them. So Lovely. It was, you know, kind of a tilt to my dad. So Tell me how
Scott Benneryou see this going. Because I imagine you have game plan this diabetes out to your death and already figured out who to put him with if you go like, you probably got this worked out six ways from Sunday.
Speaker 3So You
Sabrinaknow, it's funny. I I don't I I future trip, but I'm not like a like, I used to just book a one way ticket somewhere and just, like, arrive in Guatemala and be like, where am I
Speaker 3staying? Yeah.
SabrinaSo I don't always I have plans for sure. It's more just like, I know this is working right now, if that makes sense. But I think about him my goal is to involve him as much as possible. Like, he knows how to check his sugar. I mean, does he do it perfectly?
SabrinaNo. You know, he kinda moves his hand too much. You know? But I he helps me with his pump changes. He helps me with his Dexcom.
SabrinaHe knows all his you know, everything that's going on for the most part. There's a lot of guessing of what he'll tell me what he wants to eat, but it's like, but are you gonna eat that? Are you gonna decide in two minutes that you actually want apple and peanut butter, but I only dosed you for the scramble, you know,
Scott Bennerthat
Sabrinakind of thing? Yeah. So as he gets older, I think that part will feel a lot easier that the dose is not I'm gonna give you twelve units, and if you don't dilute it again. So twelve sounds probably massive for his size, but it is a big dose in breakfast. But breakfast, he just needs, like, two, three times more than any other time of day.
SabrinaBut if he doesn't want that, then I know that he's always gonna want, like, two grapes. You know? And, also, ten units is there's I I don't carb count, really. I mean, I kinda do, but I don't I don't use, like, ratios. I kind of, like, look at I don't know.
SabrinaI have, like, made up my own way to do it.
Scott BennerYou're vibe bolus thing.
SabrinaI literally vibe bolus. I kinda look at it, and I go, well, you have this much on board. You were just running around. You're about sleep in two hours. I don't want you to have too much in you, but I need you to have enough to avoid that.
SabrinaAnd then I think that you're gonna probably want some Larabar. And maybe, you know, maybe you'll have a little bit of this, and this looks like two units, but this really needs five units. And I I don't know how to explain to someone how it which is the reason that no one else can really take care of him. His main ability much.
Scott BennerThere's too much nuance. And and I would imagine too that it's probably the height of as soon as you figure something out, something changes too.
SabrinaEverything change. I just also discovered I I think this is what it is because I can't make sense of it. Otherwise, I thought he was getting sick constantly, like, almost getting sick and not showing symptoms. I didn't know that you could have growth hormone spikes during the day. Mhmm.
SabrinaSo all of a sudden at, like, around 10AM, not every day, just all of a sudden, so I have to, like, be ready for it. He could need an extra eight to ten units. But I also that one time that I was like, okay. This is it. And I bolus six units up front, he tanked because it wasn't that that day.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaHe's So there's just so many
Scott BennerYou what? What's the u you're using? The
SabrinaHumalog, you mean?
Scott BennerNo. The u 10.
SabrinaU 10. So it's one tenth. I'm just gonna look at his sugar real quick. Okay. He's up at ten eighty
Scott Bennerthree now. So you're using u he's using u ten right now?
SabrinaU ten. Yes. So it's tenth the strength of normal Humalog.
Scott BennerRight. So a a unit of your bolus insulin
SabrinaIs point one for most people.
Scott BennerIs point one for most people. Okay.
SabrinaWhich is like, so when people say to me, like like, I I follow a lot of different, like, type one. That's kinda how I use social media. It's either that or, like, parenting. Like, put this activity together in the morning kinda thing. I surprise him every morning with something.
SabrinaSo I follow type one stuff because it's very educational piece. So, like, your podcast Facebook group and the diapers and diabetes one. Yeah. And mom's a type you know, that kind of thing. And then I follow some, like, this Addy t one d.
SabrinaI don't know what her thing is, but I like watching her stuff because
Scott Bennerdark hair. Right?
SabrinaYeah. She has dark hair, and she runs. And it's fascinating to me to see how her blood sugar is affected with running. And, you know, I think that she kinda smart carbs it, but at the same time kinda goes for it when she's, like, traveling, which is not necessarily exactly how I eat, but I want Zebi to feel like he has more free I mean, I smart carve it kinda with him. You know, I just thought you know, I mean, that's just how I would feed him probably anyways.
SabrinaLike, I don't give him junk food. But
Scott BennerDefine that for interesting to find. Define smart carb.
SabrinaI guess I don't really even know. I I just try to feed him whole foods.
Speaker 3Okay.
SabrinaSo we still have dried mango, but I'm not giving him I'm not feeding him goldfish. I'm making flaxseed homemade crackers or almond flour crackers. Or I'm making you know, we have cupcakes, but I make it with egg and almond flour and a little bit of maple syrup. And he needs a lot of a decent amount of insulin for it, but there's no spike. So it's just like a hefty temp basil for, like, two hours kind of thing.
Scott BennerTrying make mango sounds good. Do you make that yourself, or do you buy that?
SabrinaNo. No. No. I buy it, but this is where I used to give
Scott Bennerit to him. You for a second? I love when you laugh at yourself when you know you're about to say something, and most people are gonna be like, what is this lady talking about?
SabrinaWhat is this lady talking about? She's insane. Yeah. No. I I get it all the time.
SabrinaPeople just kinda like, you know, like, really, Sabrina? Well, so what I do is I take, like, press and seal, and I rip off little pieces. And he has to open each it's the only way that I don't have to dose him a massive amount of insulin, and, yeah, I can sugar surf while he gets dried mango.
Scott BennerWait. So what do you like, you've you make him get it out of the package himself to make create
Sabrinatime? Like I like I like prep it where, like, I break it into pieces so it's, like, individually wrapped, basically. Okay. Because, otherwise, instead of having to give him fifteen units for one piece of mango that he'd eat in a second
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaHe can typically almost not get dosed if it's on the tail end of the dose. Like, if it's peaking and he has 10 units still on board, I can just give him a handful of, you know, like, little tiny wrapped mango bites.
Speaker 3Uh-huh.
SabrinaAnd he'll, like, unwrap them, and he likes collecting and throwing in the trash.
Scott BennerYou you must love the way I talk about insulin.
SabrinaSo you're bold with insulin episode. I was doing that. I just didn't understand what I was doing. Does that make sense?
Scott BennerNo. I hear it when you're talking.
SabrinaAnd so when I had a friend. I haven't seen him in forever. I was gonna say his name, and
Speaker 3I was like, don't say his name.
SabrinaWhy no one knows who he is. I understand what you were saying earlier now. But his daughter was diagnosed at three. So when Zevi was diagnosed, another a mutual friend was like, you should reach out to him. You know?
SabrinaAnd, of course, I had no idea that his daughter had been diagnosed. And I we text here and there, like, you know, oh, you could, you know, try this for the pizza crust, or try this for, you know, whatever. And he was the one that was like, you should listen to this bold with insulin because I was already kinda, like, sharing with him how we've been approaching it.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaBecause I as much as Lowe's give me anxiety at not really. But in sir, if if there's a lot on board, I'm like, shoot. You know? What am I I have these little gummy packs. Like, they're just, like, Solier, I think, is the brand.
Speaker 3Mhmm.
SabrinaAnd that that can handle anything. But
Scott BennerIt's like jet fuel.
SabrinaIt's jet fuel. Yeah. That I mean, it takes a second, and once it kicks in, it's like, oh my gosh. You know? But I can handle it if it's on the tail end.
SabrinaRight? Everything's just, like, on timing. But I the highs, I mean, he's almost never high. So, like, he was four hours high on Sunday after our, like, a barbecue thing, and he was all right around 70 for, like, a whole hour. Like, I almost couldn't get him up.
SabrinaAnd then all of a sudden, the cup get filled. Like, he didn't need any more almost.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd just
Scott Bennerand
SabrinaI thought his pump failed. I couldn't get him down. And then then slowly started coming down.
Scott BennerWas the high number? How how high?
SabrinaI think he went up to two sixty that day. So not like anything crate but, again, I'm on top of the insulin.
Scott BennerSo under so than you're accustomed to. So
SabrinaYeah. It was you know what? In those situations, it's it takes away from my ability to just connect. Like, other people might not realize what's going on in my head, but it's it is a second by I mean, it's always a second by second managing for me because I'm trying to anticipate what he's gonna wanna eat and, like, what who's gonna have food. You know?
SabrinaLike, okay. Maybe I should start a pre you know, a temp basil right now. So whatever. But it takes away from the, like, enjoyment of, like, being at these ex you know, at these parties.
Scott BennerNo. I know.
SabrinaWhen that happens because I'm like, is this pump not working? Like, did he knock it because he just tackled his friend who hit his head on the fence and Zevi has a bump on his head or Zevi just bit him on the shoulder?
Scott BennerI hear
Sabrinayou. And now you know? Yeah. So
Scott BennerI did this experiment one day where I thought for sure I'd be able to see Arden's blood sugar in her face. I took pictures of her, like, all day long.
SabrinaUh-huh.
Scott BennerAnd I would take a picture, and then I connected it to her blood sugar, Like Mhmm. Like, you know, dark circles under her eyes or anything like that. And then I put them aside, mixed them up, and then tried to guess the blood sugar by the I could never and I was like, I spent, like, two days trying to figure that out.
SabrinaOh, that's interesting. I I smell his breath, so that's, like, a big thing for me is I I'm a very big
Scott BennerYeah.
Speaker 3Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. It's it's a it's the weird like, that, like, a nondiabetic parent would never understand of, like, trying to figure out these little quirks to, like, you know, oh, maybe I'll be able to see it before, you know, or maybe I can smell it before you know?
Scott BennerAnd then I got by the way, got to the end of my experiment. I was like, well, that's not valuable. So like, but I was just looking
SabrinaThat's good to know because maybe that would have come across my desk at some point, and I could be like, yep. Nope.
Scott BennerYou're looking for some way to figure it out without poking your finger. Yeah. No. That point me in a direct so my point is that I am I'm well aware of that feeling of that you're just constantly taking in all the data around you even though you don't know how much of it's actually important, hoping that something's gonna suddenly make sense or
SabrinaYeah.
Scott BennerHelp you take a leap or something like that. I I hope for you that that will slow down, by the way. Like, when he gets bigger and you can do
SabrinaI know it will. I'll you know, I'll yeah. There's just a lot that I know there'll be other challenges, of course, like puberty, all that kind of stuff. But this will he can understand I mean, he understands he just he hates waiting for I've been starting, like, trying to, like, put a tie let's put a timer on the pre bolus, and he just hates it. You know?
SabrinaYeah. And I try to make it fun and silly, but it's just, you know, no toddler wants to like, when they want something, they want something.
Scott BennerYou know? I've come to the conclusion after making this podcast for twelve years that there's nobody on the face of the planet that wants to pre bolus their insulin, and I understand why.
SabrinaThat's why I'm trying to constantly anticipate so he doesn't have to kind of suffer through the pre bolus.
Scott BennerLike yeah. Listen. I'm gonna yeah, but you just for the people listening who are like, she gotta calm down. But, like, I'm gonna tell you right now. I would just do what you're doing so you know.
Scott BennerNo. I mean, listen.
SabrinaHis a one c is 5.3. He's in range 92 to 99 a 100% of the time. His average glucose is if it's not a crazy whatever, it's somewhere between a 100 and a 105, sometimes 95, sometimes standard deviation 17 to 22. You know? I mean, he's very stable.
Looping & Navigating Childhood Illnesses
SabrinaYou know?
Scott BennerTalk about how loop has helped you with that, if it if it has.
SabrinaYeah. So, again, the loop was really with the intention of nighttime because so he was a heavy nurser before diagnosis. And, obviously, leading up to it, he was nursing like crazy, and I didn't understand what was going on.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaOr, like, I just thought it was normal, but everyone else was like, he should be sleeping through the night. And I was like, I don't know. He just wakes up to nurse seven times. You know?
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaBut the the nursing was what used to I mean, I'd be up for so I would nurse him in the middle of the night, say it was, like, 12AM or something. And before looping, I would he would nurse. And if his sugar wasn't high, like, wasn't above one twenty, I couldn't dose him because then he would drop low because the milk takes about thirty minutes in the middle of the night to kick in.
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaSo I would have to just keep myself awake. And once in a blue moon, I would fall back asleep, and then he would I would miss that window, and then he'd go high. And then it would be you're chasing the you know, you're timing insulin wrong. So I would be up every time he nurse for, like, about an hour.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd which is incredibly exhausting when he's up nursing three, four, five, six times a night. You know? Typically, you know, now he doesn't nurse as often last night a couple times. Most nights, nurses asleep and then, you know, nurses maybe around five, five, 08:30 in the morning. You know, I mean, he's two and a half, so he's not using it in the same way, you know, as much.
SabrinaBut the looping, I wanted the auto bolus. Like, it communicates better with his Dexcom, and, like, I can have settings that it just it were I mean and, also, the target on o p five was at one ten. And, not that 01:10 is terrible, but if he can be running at 80 and steady with almost no insulin on board, I much prefer that to one ten.
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaSo it you know, once I can kinda you know, despite growth hormone spikes during the night and that takes, you know, a handful of units to get him down, and then I kinda wait till he stabilizes. But, normally, if he's just you know, it just it keep I mean, he's real steady through the night. And then there's this off nights that an extra point two that he would normally get anyways. For some reason, he's just extra sensitive, and then he goes low.
Scott BennerYeah. I love how your brain effortlessly jumps between the u 10 and the point and the actual measurement. Like or or is that not what's happening? Are you actually
SabrinaIt's point two. Yeah. But I could
Scott Bennersay point zero Okay. So point two of u 10, which is point zero two. And how much does he weigh?
SabrinaNow he weighs about twenty eight pounds.
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaTwenty yeah. So he there there there has been a lot of so in the last July, one of the things I had shared with you. So last July, I started at his endo appointment. I was or August, I mean, he for the lead month leading up to it, he was saying, mama, I'm tired. Mama, I'm tired.
SabrinaAnd I was like, this doesn't seem right. Like, I don't know any 20 old who's telling me that, you know, they're tired, you know, and wanting to go back to sleep. So we did some blood work in November, and only one level, like, as ALP. It was like a alkaline phosphate or something. That was, like, relatively, like, pretty high elevated, not, like, super elevated.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd then by January, he basically had a month, five weeks straight of diarrhea. And I was on the phone with every doctor I could think of, every you know, trying to figure out what was going on because he was, like, itchy. And and it it was causing, like in some ways, his sugar wasn't so affected, but at other times, it was. It turns out, well, the lab at the hospital messed up the viral swab, the first ER visit, because we had to sedate him to get blood drawn because he absolutely loses his mind
Scott BennerOkay.
SabrinaIn a blood draw. He had RSV, tested positive for salmonella, and had a parasite.
Scott BennerWee.
SabrinaSo there was yeah. It was insane in this in the winter. I don't even know how because, like, I'm a clean freak, and, like, he eats really, like, fresh food. I mean, we throw out stuff after two you know? It was just a crazy
Scott BennerWell, tell me how you how's all that get handled? What what how what kind of parasite? How did they find out a parasite?
SabrinaWe were at a a GI doctor.
Scott BennerBecause of the diarrhea, they looked for that.
SabrinaBy the die yeah. So you're doing, like, a ton of stool tests, and we he ended up I'm not I'm, an antibiotic person only if you absolutely, absolutely need antibiotics, you know, kind of thing. I don't just, like, free, you
Scott Bennerknow Yeah.
SabrinaWilly nilly them. And and he went on one round, and it it has, like, turned everything around. But but it's all these little things that people when, like, when he gets sick, you know, or if he has a cold, it's it's not just like, oh, he has a runny nose. It just wreaks havoc on, like, his insulin needs can, like, triple. It's so unpredictable.
SabrinaAnd and so the winter was just insane this past winter with, like, trying to figure out everything that was going on. But so my that's where it's like, okay. Yeah. I'm neurotic, and I'm incredibly type a. But I
Scott BennerCaught it.
SabrinaI mean, I was so annoying to the endo receptionist that she literally hung up the phone on me because I had so many call tickets in. And I was like, can you just please stop speak to me a little bit kinder tone? And she hung up the phone. And I want and that was before we found out everything that was wrong. And I wanted to, like, call back and be like, just so you know, like, something was actually really wrong.
SabrinaYou know? He was very ill.
Scott BennerI was right. And you were wrong. And you should have been nicer to me. And you're not good at your job.
SabrinaI mean, he hadn't gained weight in, like, four months.
Scott BennerOh my god. Well, yeah. Yeah. That's no good.
SabrinaYeah. I mean, there was a lot going on.
Scott BennerSo My only disappointment with that story is you said ton of stool tests, I really wish you would have used a liquid measure to make that statement. But other than that, I was I was really happy to hear it. Yeah.
Speaker 3It's been
Sabrinaa lot it's a lot a lot of poop tests.
Scott BennerA gallon of poop tests, Scott. Was a gallon of them. It's funny, isn't it? Because I think it would be interest I think it would be easy for people to listen to you. You don't know.
Scott BennerAnd I'm from the Northeast, so in my mind, you're not speaking quickly. I'm actually, like, you're at a comfortable pace for me.
SabrinaAm I speaking quick? I speak quickly.
Scott BennerImagine everyone else is like, holy hell that I put this on time too by mistake. Flash? Yeah. Like, if you and I let go, like, in a in a in a just like a party situation, I imagine we'd just be talking over each other the entire time and still the conversation.
SabrinaBut I would follow the conversation. It's just like tangential. Like, it's just like it's just all over the place like this tangent, this tangent, this tangent, like yeah.
Scott BennerOnly aware of it because I know people are listening and I don't like to put voices over top of each other. But if you and I were just speaking, I I know that when I'm talking and you're talking, we're both hearing each other.
SabrinaSo No. I'm I yeah. I well, so I apologize to anyone who's speaking.
Finding Balance & Looking to the Future
Scott BennerI'm making the point that the bigger point that to some of the people listening, you sound like you're out of your mind. But I also raised a two year old with type one diabetes, so it doesn't sound crazy to me. And look at all the things that you've figured out along the way by being this attentive. And so while I think some people might be like, oh, she's gonna burn out, I don't know that you will. You might this might just be how you are.
SabrinaI it's kind of how I am, but also doing all of this is I mean, I manage it so like, I just under I can I I understand how his body's re the difference of even just six months ago for me is massive?
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaIt it ends up allowing me to give him, like, a steadier, like, day to day because I know how to anticipate and manage it. Does that make sense? Like, it causes me less stress to to have done all this work in, a neurotic way to figure it out as opposed to just, oh, let's just go on a roller coaster.
Scott BennerYeah. No. No. No. I agree with you.
Scott BennerDo you imagine yourself, like, this getting less lesser as time goes on? Like, do you want to be looking at it less moving forward? Yeah.
SabrinaI think when I don't know. I mean, I I hope so. Some of that will be, mom, I want one slice of pizza. You know? I want you you know, I want this.
SabrinaI want you know, the because I if he wants more, I give him more. I might say, like, you know, if I don't have the insulin pre bolus and I know he's about to nap, I do kind of fib of, like, oh, we're out of Larabars. You know, we don't that was that was all we had, you know, that that half.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaBecause I don't want him to go low during his nap. Like, he he he'll either skyrocket and I don't give enough, or he'll go low, and then I'm disrupting him and it's you know?
Scott BennerYou're giving me PTSD thinking about, afternoon nap time. Jesus. Ugh.
SabrinaThe naps are just I mean, when when he stops napping, I feel like the days will even be so much I understand. I like, I'm so hypervigilant with it.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaIt makes the day so much easier when I'm just, like, on it, if that makes sense. It's so much more stressful when I'm not watching it diligently because something because he is so sensitive. I mean, he shot up to two seventy five a week and a half ago or two weeks ago at our friend's backyard because I was 50 feet from him, and he wanted strawberries. I didn't bolus him right in that moment, and he had two or three strawberries.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaAnd he had 10 units on board already.
Scott BennerIt didn't matter. Right?
SabrinaAnd it didn't matter. Yeah. And so then I spent four hours trying to safely bring him down before bedtime versus if I just was right there and maybe he It just wouldn't have happened. And and because I can't expect other people to understand you know, I I yeah. Does that
Scott Bennermake sense? Yeah. You're gonna sound crazy to people who don't know know about diabetes. Yeah. Yeah.
SabrinaAnd I trust me. I hear it all the time of, like, you need to let other people take care. And, like, how? He's dropped from a 100 to 44 in ten minutes, and he there was, like, almost no reason.
Scott BennerYeah. What are you gonna do about it? Because I'm the only one staring at him like this.
SabrinaCheck his blood sugar manually.
Scott BennerYou're his own personal AI assistant. You you know everything. Like, you have a you have a large language model of, you know, information about his diabetes. But I'm telling you a couple things. Listen.
Scott BennerI'll pass on a little bit of of of my
SabrinaYeah. Please do.
Scott BennerMe and my it is gonna get easier. You are gonna need to let go as time goes on. Somebody is eventually gonna be able to watch your son for you, and you're gonna be able to go Yeah.
SabrinaFor sure. Well, also, I'm hoping by including him that he'll be, like, part of his own management.
Scott BennerI hope so
Sabrinatoo. You know, sooner than later, you know, that he can say, oh, well, you know, I'm gonna have this. I need a bolus this. You know?
Scott BennerJust keep in mind that is kinda like hippie dippie as it's gonna sound. So you can only put people on a path. You can't make them do something.
SabrinaFor sure.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. There's gonna be an episode that comes out in a couple of months.
Scott BennerAnd it's recorded recently with this mom whose kid was diagnosed at, like, 15 years old. And this kid's, like, you know, athletic on the ski team at school, like, you know, having a nice little life diagnosed with type one Mhmm. Quickly tumbles down a rabbit hole, drinking, drugs. They just send him off to a place, like, not a thing they thought was gonna happen to him. And and even as he and he's a thoughtful kid.
Scott BennerLike, it's not like, he was just you know, he's got ADHD. He was probably self medicating, you know, but it it tumbled quickly on him. And my point is is that, like, a, you know, a year before that, that was not on their radar at all. Mhmm. And even as they're trying to help him and he's open to the help, it's still, like, people are really on their own course and you can only do so much.
Scott BennerSo I say, like, I like everything you're talking about, but if it doesn't go exactly the way you're imagining it, you're gonna have to be flexible and and bend with Zevi and do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3Oh, for yeah.
SabrinaI I hear what you're saying.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaYeah. No. I I think I I my goal is to show up how he needs me. Does that make sense?
Scott BennerNo. I think you're gonna do a good job.
SabrinaYeah. It's how I think is best, you know, because he's two.
Scott BennerRight.
SabrinaRight. You know, I mean, listen. I I I want an athlete. He might just be a musician, you know, in which I was a musician too. But, you know, I I you have to I I hear what you're saying.
Scott BennerYeah. You can only do what you can do.
SabrinaIt's very hard when it it is relay directly related to his health.
Scott BennerOh, I know.
SabrinaKeeping him alive. You know? So when people are like, oh, which I know you know. Yeah. It's when when, you know, people I mean, I constantly hear it from especially family of you know, who don't live by us.
SabrinaSo they've not really seen the day to day and understanding, you know, well, someone has to be able to watch them, and it's like, I don't think you understand how nuanced this is.
Scott BennerI exactly right now.
Speaker 3It's yeah.
SabrinaIt's just not.
Scott BennerYeah. Listen. I'll tell you that this too. Like, I'd I'd be remiss not to tell you. You need to sleep more than you think you need to.
SabrinaOh, I I know. My sleep is, I'm so much better than it used to be, though.
Scott BennerGood. Good.
SabrinaGood. So much. Yeah. No. I yeah.
Scott BennerMy expectation is you'll look back one day and just see this as a fraught time that you put a lot of extra effort into because it needed it, and then you backed out of it slowly when it didn't need as much. And if you do that, you're gonna be right on. If you don't do that, then he's gonna hate you. You're gonna hate this. Like, it's gonna you'll be ragged.
Scott BennerI also you know, you're an older mom when you started, so you have no idea what's gonna happen in the next five years. I can tell you because I've been there. But, like, this, like, staying up and it's all okay, it goes away really quickly.
SabrinaOh, it's yeah. It's, I mean, I sleep so much more than than I was.
Speaker 3Okay. Yeah.
SabrinaYeah. No. I yeah. So yeah. I probably just sound cracked out.
SabrinaAnd I and I'm not a coffee like, I don't I don't take anything. So, this is just pure, you know
Scott BennerI usually say to people when they're like, oh my god. Like, I'm like, imagine me drunk or high. Like, what a what an unnecessary level up that would be.
SabrinaYeah.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. No. I hear you. I think you do listen.
Scott BennerYou're in a really difficult situation. It's incredibly difficult. I've been through it. I was listen. Freestyle meter, test strips, syringes.
Scott BennerThey didn't even give me half unit syringes right away. I had to, like, find out those existed. And the Lily red glucagon box. That's what we had in the house. Yeah.
Scott BennerSo and Levemir and it was Lantus at first and NovoLog. I think we figured out the Lantus was burning. She like, it stung her, so we moved
Sabrinato Levemir. Had you guys didn't they didn't have Dexcoms when she was first diagnosed. Right? Yeah.
Scott BennerNothing like that.
SabrinaThat to me, that is I mean, we still finger poke a lot, but that is like I mean, it it literally saved his life in the hospital. I mean, every I I couldn't I would be poking him 200 times a day I mean, 300 times a day.
Scott BennerI had it down to about 13 to 15 if you did in in the right places. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I've told that story before. Like, when I hold Arden's hand, like, I realized I've held Arden's hand through, like, every day of her life almost Yeah.
Scott BennerYou know, because of the finger pokes. And it's funny now. Like, I mean, she still does them, but it's not obviously, you're not doing it 13 times a day anymore.
SabrinaYeah. Yeah.
Scott BennerIt's just it's a I I don't use this word hardly ever, but those things are a blessing. Like, that's why when I see people, like, get about them online, I'm like, you'd you know, be careful what you wish for because
SabrinaFor sure.
Scott BennerYeah.
SabrinaYeah. No. I I mean, I was pretty frustrated last week. I it was just the amount of, like, this one failed. This one failed.
SabrinaThis one failed. At the end of the day, I'm so I mean, when people say they, like, leave the hospital without them, I'm like, what? Like, I I would be, like, banging on the door. I I I mean, the first moment you're diagnosed, you should get a Dexcom on you. Like, I I had a pump on him within, I think, days six or seven in the hospital.
SabrinaIt is unbelievably helpful. It's just what also it gives you is a ton of information, which I love, but I do go back to, like, the whole ignorance is bliss. Like, I understand why people weren't so hands on years ago because you just didn't know what was going on. You know?
Scott BennerThis really is, I think, a thoughtful story, but if I hope no one can attribute it to anybody. But a long time ago, I knew a person whose child had type one diabetes, like, way before the game. Like, you know, like, way before, you know, probably ten years before Arden, you know, whatnot. And that person, when CGMs first came out, they were, you know, pretty vocal about, like, you people are out of your minds. My kid has, you know, been living with this forever.
Scott BennerYou don't need these things. They're gonna make you crazy. The people are staring at these numbers all the time, blah blah blah blah blah. You don't know. It's easy.
Scott BennerBlah blah. Then one day, their kid as an adult gets one of those things. And then they pivot to, like, these things are amazing. They're magical and blah blah blah. And I'm like, oh, okay.
Scott BennerI remember you saying, what are we all doing? But whatnot. And now more recently, their their child has, as an adult, shared their having a complication already at a fairly young age.
SabrinaYeah.
Scott BennerAnd I I of course, that's I that's terrible, and I don't wish that on anybody. But I think it's just a good example of, like, you only know what you know.
SabrinaYeah. I agree.
Scott BennerYeah. And people get defensive of the way we did it all the time. Like, oh, you don't know the way I did it. It was much better. Like, I could if you want me to tell you how much better Guns N' Roses is than Sydney Sweeney, I can absolutely tell you that.
Scott BennerI don't know if it's true or not. I just how it feels to me. And and, you know, because I lived through a certain era. When it comes to this, people can call you crazy if they want to. Okay?
Scott BennerBut you your kid's gonna have a far less likelihood of a complication because of the effort you're putting in right now. Now that's up to you and your husband to decide if that's a fair trade off for your life. My wife
SabrinaIt is. It's not even, like, a second thought. But yeah. No. I Yeah.
Scott BennerThat's That's how my wife and I thought about it. I I as soon as Arden was diagnosed, I would say to myself, like, alright. Look. She didn't ask to be here. We did this.
Scott BennerLike, we brought her here. And now this happened. It's beyond anybody's control. This is gonna take an extra level of effort from me now, and that is gonna mean that some things that I expected from my life are not gonna happen. And Yeah.
Scott BennerI gotta be and I have to find a way to do that without being shitty about it to her or to anybody else. Otherwise, I'm just gonna create a different problem somewhere else. So the way I used to say it is, you know, you find people all the time when they're talking about having babies or they're pregnant. They're like, oh, you know, I'd throw myself in front of a bus or somebody shot at us, I jump in front of the bullet. And some people jump in front of the bullet and some people don't.
Scott BennerSome people hear the gun and go, oops. I couldn't get there in time. And you Yeah. You you decide which one who you're gonna be in that, but be honest about it at the very least. Like, I love how forthcoming you are about it.
Scott BennerYou're just
SabrinaOh, no. I am I I am not trying to hide the fact No. Literally do anything. I have Zevi just came in here. We woke up a little.
SabrinaAre we upset? He just wanted me. Makes sense. You wanna say hi? Say hi, Scott.
Scott BennerZevi, how are you, buddy? How was your nap?
SabrinaMy we well, we just woke up from the morning, and I think that we are just wanting mama.
Scott BennerOh, this is this is the morning wake up. Oh, yeah. You're in the West Coast.
SabrinaYeah. We I yeah. I've been up with where are we at? 76. Okay.
SabrinaYeah. It's still this
Scott BennerLook at you. You fixed the you fixed the low, and you have him at seventy six.
SabrinaYeah. That's great. It's but, yeah, he's it's
Scott BennerHe's gonna be hungry.
SabrinaYeah. He's gonna be hungry.
Scott BennerYeah. What's for breakfast?
Speaker 3How you doing? I don't know. What's for breakfast?
SabrinaYou want green eggs?
Speaker 3Yeah. Should we make green eggs? Yeah.
SabrinaDo you want you know what
Speaker 3we haven't done in a while is waffles. Yeah. Should we make a waffle this morning? Yeah.
Scott BennerWell, you're gonna make me cry. I feel so old.
SabrinaThere you go, bub. There's a little bit of juice. Yeah. He's still kinda he went up a little bit. Not really.
SabrinaI don't think he even went above 90.
Scott BennerWow. Yeah. It was well, you you said he got too much insulin.
SabrinaUnit. One normal strength unit
Scott BennerRight.
SabrinaThat was given.
Speaker 3Is how
Sabrinamuch it's taken to you know?
Scott BennerBut I also think great learning experience there because you have that Oh, great. Lot of insulin.
SabrinaBut I still have to, like, recreate. I'm just, like, still trying to understand how yeah. I I I mean, I am I was, like, seeing cross eyed, I know, at 3AM in the morning, but yeah. I mean,
Scott BennerI wouldn't I wouldn't spend a lot of time trying to figure out what you did when you were asleep. Just
SabrinaYeah.
Scott BennerYou know, that I don't know that you're gonna come up. I don't know that it's gonna be Just you probably did some you probably pushed the wrong buttons and Yeah. That's that. But you know? Yeah.
Scott BennerWell, I appreciate you sharing this all with them. I'm gonna let you make waffles. I think
SabrinaI gotta I gotta remember to play that song for him.
Scott BennerI think it's a sad song about death. Hold on a second.
Speaker 3Let's see.
Scott BennerBut I It's still upbeat when they sing it.
SabrinaWe we play music and sing songs all day long, so he might kinda I just won't
Scott BennerYou just won't tell him what it's about, that song. I
Sabrinawhat won't tell it's about, bub.
Scott BennerGosh. No. You know, it's so funny because I grew up with, like, FM radio, but that sounds like an old thing to say now. But I've heard that song a million times in my life and
SabrinaI did too, but you sound older saying
Scott Bennerit. I now don't know that I know what it's about. So, anyway, I really appreciate you doing this. I I have to tell you Yeah.
SabrinaNo. Thank you. I I do I do wanna say just how I don't I certainly don't listen have a chance to listen to every single episode,
Speaker 3but
Sabrinait has been it's just refreshing having information that is actually helpful.
Scott BennerMhmm.
SabrinaI I I really appreciate our endocrinologist, but we have certainly talked to other endocrinologists where it's just like, I you just don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. And having like, just connecting with, especially, other parents or have it your community is spectacular. I I just I I cannot thank you enough. So
Scott BennerWell, I appreciate it. I I'm really proud of it. I'm I Yeah.
SabrinaYou should be.
Scott BennerSounds odd to some people, but I I see how many people it helps all the time. It's really awesome.
SabrinaIt's very it's it is invaluable.
Scott BennerYeah. So Hey. Give me twenty seconds, and then I'll let you go. American Pie by Don McClain in plain terms. The song is nostalgic, symbolic.
Scott BennerLook back at the loss of innocence in early rock and roll, especially tied to the day the music died, referring to the 1959 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper. That's what it's about.
Speaker 3But we'll just make it about waffles. Inside. And over the garbage truck inside.
SabrinaWait in front the garbage truck inside? No. Is it in the garage?
Speaker 3On the on the sink. I think it's up.
Scott BennerHe's already planning on his day. He's like, lady plan out his day. We left some stuff outside. We gotta get we gotta get jumping here.
SabrinaWe are very, very truck heavy household.
Scott BennerSo That's awesome.
SabrinaDo you wanna say say, Scott, have a nice day?
Speaker 3Have a nice day. Have a nice day.
Scott BennerYou have a nice day too, Zevi. It was nice to meet you.
SabrinaThank you, Scott.
Scott BennerBye. Thank you. Okay. Bye. Bye.
Outro & Closing Sponsors
Scott BennerA huge thanks to today's sponsor, AbleNow. AbleNow offers tax advantaged able accounts for eligible individuals with disabilities. If you or your child lives with diabetes, you may qualify because of ongoing medical needs. With AbleNow, you can save for a wide range of disability related expenses without affecting eligibility for certain disability benefits such as Medicaid. And thanks to recent federal law updates, more people are eligible than ever before.
Scott BennerLearn more and check your eligibility at ablenow.com. You spell that, ablenow.com. There's links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com. This episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by Omnipod five. Omnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a one c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections.
Scott BennerLearn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox. At my link, you can get a free starter kit right now. Terms and conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox.
Scott BennerThis episode of the juice box podcast was sponsored by US Med. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Get started today with US Med. Links in the show notes. Links at juiceboxpodcast.com.
Scott BennerIf you've listened to any number of podcasts or maybe watched a YouTube video, you're very accustomed to listening to the creator of that content ask you and sometimes just outright beg you without any feeling of self respect for you to follow, subscribe, share an episode. The reason that happens in podcasting specifically is because podcast players don't have a sophisticated recommendation engine like YouTube or TikTok does. They can't watch listener behavior and then give you content that you might like. Word-of-mouth skips that line completely. It's an instantly expanding reach engine and really the only thing I've ever found that helps to keep the Juice Box podcast growing.
Scott BennerSo subscribe and follow because that the algorithm understands. Set up automatic downloads, listen to the show, but share it with somebody else. Leave a five star review. Make it a thoughtful review that the algorithm can understand. I really appreciate the time it takes you to do those things.
Scott BennerAnd I hate that I have to say this to you because I feel like an idiot. But subscribe and follow, tell a friend, please and thank you. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast private Facebook group. Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome.
Scott BennerType one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. If you have a podcast and you need a fantastic editor, you want Rob from Wrong Way Recording. Listen. Truth be told, I'm like 20% smarter when Rob edits me.
Scott BennerHe takes out all the, like, gaps of time and when I go, and stuff like that. And it just I don't know, man. Like, I listen back and I'm like, why do I sound smarter? And then I remember because I did one smart thing. I hired Rob at wrongwayrecording.com.
#1872 Agency and Anxiety Part 1
Therapist Erika Forsyth joins Scott Benner to explore how building agency combats anxiety. Learn how understanding your brain's "flipped lid" can help you regain control during diabetes management challenges.
Key Takeaways
- Anxiety vs. Agency: Anxiety is the physical and mental experience of feeling out of control or uncertain, while agency is the belief and ability to act, influence, and affect outcomes.
- Agency as a Protector: While agency does not eliminate fear, it plays a protective role by interrupting the nervous system's cycle of helplessness and reducing the escalation of a threat response.
- The "Flipped Lid": Using Dr. Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, a "flipped lid" occurs when the emotional amygdala overrides the logical prefrontal cortex. Practicing agency helps bring the prefrontal cortex back online.
- Micro-Successes Retrain the Brain: Repeated, small successful actions in managing challenges (like diabetes) build neural pathways that replace learned helplessness with confidence and goal-directed action.
- Nervous System Regulation: Engaging your sense of agency shifts your body from a sympathetic state (fight or flight) to a parasympathetic state (calm, capable of problem-solving), mitigating feelings of panic.
Resources Mentioned
- Contour Next Gen Blood Glucose Meter: contournext.com/juicebox
- Medtronic Diabetes (MiniMed 780G, Instinct Sensor, Simplera Sync): medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox
- Juicebox Podcast Pro Tip Series & Resources: juiceboxpodcast.com
- Wrong Way Recording: wrongwayrecording.com
- Dr. Dan Siegel: Hand Model of the Brain / The Whole-Brain Child
Introduction & Show Sponsors
Scott BennerHello, friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Juice Box podcast. Anxiety is your nervous system noticing uncertainty and feeling like it can't do anything about it. Agency is the opposite. The sense that you can act and affect what happens next. This episode is about how that one shift calms the alarm in your brain.
Scott BennerAgency doesn't erase the fear. It gives your nervous system a way through it. My diabetes pro tip series is about cutting through the clutter of diabetes management to give you the straightforward practical insights that truly make a difference. This series is all about mastering the fundamentals, whether it's the basics of insulin, dosing adjustments, or everyday management strategies that will empower you to take control. I'm joined by Jenny Smith, who is a diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal experience, and we break down complex concepts into simple actionable tips.
Scott BennerThe diabetes pro tip series runs between episode one thousand and one thousand twenty five in your podcast player, or you can listen to it at juiceboxpodcast.com by going up into the menu. Nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin.
Today's episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by the Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter. This is the meter that my daughter has on her person right now.
Scott BennerIt is incredibly accurate and waiting for you at kontoornext.com/juicebox. Today's episode is also sponsored by Medtronic Diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the MiniMed seven eighty g system and their new sensor options, which include the Instinct sensor made by Abbott. Would you like to unleash the full potential of the MiniMed seven eighty g system? You can do that at my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Erica, Erica, Erica, you have returned.
Erika ForsythHi. It's been a while.
Scott BennerYeah. Yeah. We, I don't know what happened. What did happen? Is it scheduling?
Erika ForsythThe busyness of life, scheduling.
Scott BennerYeah. I did because you looked at me and you said, I haven't seen you in a while. I thought, have not seen her in a in a hot...
Erika ForsythApril was a busy month. I that was part of it. Okay. And on my side, and you were traveling Yeah. A little bit.
Defining Agency and Anxiety
Scott BennerOh, let's get this in now before I've gotta go do the stuff I'm doing this summer, and I won't be back for a while. So what are we gonna talk about today?
Erika ForsythSo I believe and know that we have talked about anxiety in different ways in how we experience living with diabetes, and I thought we could talk about it in the context of how agency and anxiety work kind of with and against each other. It it all really ages and stages of diagnosis and also from the caregiver's perspective and also the person living with diabetes. So I thought we could just start by defining Yeah. What agency and anxiety are.
Scott BennerGo for it.
Erika ForsythOkay. So agency but you might be more familiar with the term, you know, self efficacy, but agency is often used in the way that we can have the sense or belief or thought that we can act and influence and affect outcomes. Right? So I it's often learned. That might be a whole other interesting conversation of how does one develop agency, but I think that's what we're gonna talk about throughout our conversation today.
Erika ForsythSo just the, yeah, the belief in oneself that when I do when I do x, I can anticipate that y will happen in simpler terms.
Scott BennerBecause I have to admit, I'm a little light on this definition myself. But is it just the idea that, like, I'm in charge and when I do like, I'm in I don't Like, I'm in the driver's seat? Like, I I'm not a passenger in this or, like, what's the what's the, like, real plain definition of agency? Because it's I think it's a word people throw around.
Erika ForsythYes. And often in in the kind of the mental health world, therapy world, we use it a lot. Mhmm. So the simplest way is, yes, I can act, influence, and affect outcomes. However, it also is used in a way of, like, I can choose.
Erika ForsythI have choice. I have independence. I, yeah, I'm kind of in the driver's seat, but it it comes with this, like, overall sense that you kind of have ownership in your life, and maybe not in all areas and aspects of your life. But, for example, people might use agency as, okay. Let there are some things that you are you are wanting your kids to do.
Erika ForsythRight? You have guidelines. You have expectations, but maybe you want them to experience agency tonight by saying, hey. We're gonna have dinner tonight, but do you wanna have pizza or pasta?
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythThat's letting them experience a little bit of agency where they have choice.
Scott BennerChoice and control to some degree? Yes.
Erika ForsythYes. Okay.
Scott BennerAlright. So No. No. I I it really is one of the you know, my son...
Erika ForsythMhmm.
Scott BennerMakes fun of me all the time. He's like, you don't know what that word means. And I was like, I do. And I use it in a sentence. I go, that's correct.
Scott BennerAnd he goes, what's it mean? And sometimes I'm I think it's just the word I say. I think when you say agency, everyone gets a vibe about what that means. And I think you're getting your point across, but digging into it is, like, I I think interesting. So, like, how do you, like how does some people just have it?
Scott BennerHow do you give it to somebody? How do you go find it if you don't have it? Right? Like, that's I mean, there's a lot of questions in there, to be perfectly honest.
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerOkay. But how does it go go ahead. Say that. I'm sorry.
Erika ForsythNo. I said we're we're gonna get into that. I think is it something that you just have, or is it something that evolves? Is it something and I think it the general sense would be it's something that you kind of learn. Right?
Erika ForsythAnd you also can be given if you're the child's agency, but you also can exercise it, right, in your in your own life.
Scott BennerIs it a thing that, like, could be misread? Like, I think people would say that I feel like I'm in control of, like, what I'm doing. I make decisions kind of, like, promptly, boldly. I have confidence in myself. But other people would look at that and and call that a problem.
Scott BennerSo, like, you know, like, you know, but he he thinks everything he does is right. He's a narcissist, like, that kind of thing. Like, I feel like I trust myself, but I think I trust myself because I grew up without people helping me with things. And I've made decisions, and I haven't died. So I believe that my decisions are, generally speaking, gonna move me in a good direction.
Scott BennerLike, very simply, like, I think that's how it feels.
Erika ForsythYou have the capacity to make the decision. You have the ability whether it's kind of learned over time. Mhmm. But it's not...
Scott BennerIs the capacity something someone could take?
Erika ForsythIt's capacity, but it's not like I hear you. It's not like like a right. Like, I have a right to to dictate. It's not like a dick...
Scott BennerIt just feels like so so somebody could maybe deconstructing it helps. So someone could take the capacity from you. You could have an overbearing parent that doesn't let you make any decisions, and therefore, you don't have agency.
Erika ForsythCorrect.
Scott BennerOkay. And you could also have a parent that's, you know, giving you too much freedom and maybe turning into a a little bastard. And and, like, you know, like, I just like...
Erika ForsythOr entitled.
Scott BennerEntitled. Right? But you have agency, but it maybe has gone too far. So, like, agency seems to me more like a middle ground of of I feel I feel like it's something I'm allowed to do. I'm comfortable making a decision, and I feel like it's going to go, okay.
Scott BennerI have agency, but I'm not gonna wield it in some crazy way where I'm a terrorist to people, you know, and they're and in the moment, and I don't have my head down and don't feel like I can raise my eyes up and and make a decision for myself. The middle there is agency.
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerAm I getting that? Okay.
Erika ForsythYes. Having a choice and I just actually I like this definition. It's the ability to act as an effective agent for yourself. I mean, we're using the word in the definition, which is a no no, but I think...
Scott BennerWhat's blue mean? You know blue.
Erika ForsythBut it's yeah. Actually, it's interesting even as we try and define it. It is one of those words that you can just it like, it's a feeling.
Scott BennerIt's a vibe. Yeah. Yeah. It's a than a word. Right.
Scott BennerSo okay. And now let's move to anxiety because I'm I'm confused about how they're gonna intersect with each other. So
Erika ForsythOkay. So, I mean, anxiety also will probably be very it's a feeling. Right? It's it is two different things. Think if we're thinking about worry, which might feel more like the mental, exercise of anxiety, anxiety is usually more defined as the physical and mental experience of feeling uncertain, feeling like you cannot influence outcomes.
Erika ForsythSo almost the opposite...
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythOf agency, but it's the perception that you do not have the ability to influence outcomes of kind of feeling out of control. And as a result of that feeling of being out of control, you might experience worry. You might experience symptoms of anxiety that feed each other.
Scott BennerIs anxiety the worry about a thing you don't have agency over? Because if you're thinking about something you can control, that's thinking about it. If it right? Because you get nervous when you you know what I mean? Like, if you put me at the end of a rope bridge and it was broken, and I thought I could probably fix this and get across, I'd feel a little anxious, but I wouldn't collapse.
Scott BennerI'd feel like, oh, I can do the thing and get across. But then there are sometimes that people look at something, and I always imagine that what anxiety is is when you're worrying about the unknown. Yes. Because you don't have the rest of the story, so you can't complete the circle and decide if it's a a conquerable thing or not.
Erika ForsythThat's right.
Scott BennerThat's how I think about it, but I could be wrong too. Interesting. Okay. Good. Because I have here anxiety is a false alarm in your brain.
Scott BennerA feeling that something bad is going to happen and I'm completely powerless to stop it.
Erika ForsythMhmm.
Scott BennerWhy do some people feel anxiety more than others? I guess that's a the million dollar question. Right?
Erika ForsythYes. I don't I don't think we can answer that.
Scott BennerYeah. Is this a good place for me to put in my my fishing idea about anxiety, or do want me to wait till later?
Erika ForsythYeah. Go ahead. Share share away.
Scott BennerI just I I shared with Erica before we started that I feel like if I had started a podcast on a different topic, I would not have met so many anxious people. And I can't decide if that's because they're anxious because they have diabetes or if because their child does or if anxiety is an inflammation related issue and that autoimmune maybe makes it more common among this this group of people. Or if maybe it's maybe a mixture of it or not one and maybe all the other. I'm not sure, but I I record five days a week. Three people call themselves anxious.
Scott BennerI talked to a woman the other day. She was anxious with a b word. You you know, like, she was really tortured by it. And then I spoke to another woman who felt anxious, but then after I asked her more questions, I realized she was anemic. Like, I think I diagnosed her as being anemic while I was speaking to her.
Scott BennerBut she was having, like, this crazy anxiety. Dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Scott BennerAnd I was like I'm like, were you ang have you always been anxious? She's like, not this much. I think she was blaming the kid's diagnosis, and I started asking a bunch of questions. Then she mentioned she had a hysterectomy, and I was like, hey. Are you anemic?
Scott BennerAnd she goes, no. Well, they did give me iron after the hysterectomy. And I went, oh, okay. She emailed me after we got done recording. They did give her iron.
Scott BennerShe had a ferritin of 14. It only moved it up to 20. She's anemic. And, like, so maybe she's an anxious person to begin with, but anemia actually makes that there's technical reasons why that I can't just pull out of my right now, but I know are there. And and there's reasons why you might seem more anxious with while you're anemic.
Scott BennerAnd, also, I meet a lot of anemic people, and I think that's also got something to do with the autoimmune autoimmune too. Like, I feel like it's all, like, you know, right church, wrong pew kind of thing. Like, I think it's it's in the building. It's just not always it's not like you have diabetes, so you're anemic. Or you have autoimmune, so you have this.
Scott BennerBut, man, I meet a lot of people who are anemic, a lot of people who have anxiety, a lot of like, I've I've mentioned before, I meet a lot of people with a bipolar relative. Just the general population doesn't know that many bipolar people, do they? Mm-mm. You you know? Like right?
Scott BennerBut, like, I talk to people with type one, and they all seem to know somebody in with with that situation. So, anyway, I think anxiety is partially I think it's partially, like, inflammation or something that, like, is nebulous to me, but it seems obvious, you know, colloquially. So, nevertheless
Erika ForsythI mean, yeah, there there could be, and it could be a result of this kind of interplay between living with a chronic illness that can increase anxiety when you don't experience a lot of agency all the time.
Scott BennerYeah. Oh my god. Well, by definition, if you don't get educated well or didn't understand your education, you have no agency with that type one. And and then on top of that, if you're experiencing, like, physical, like, input implications imagine you're a little anxious and a little anemic and don't understand the tools to take care of your diabetes with, and all the problems you have are just worry because you don't understand how to get to the end of them. I mean, that's a that's a perfect storm.
Sponsorship Break: Medtronic & Contour
Scott BennerUnlike other systems that will wait until your blood sugar is a 180 before delivering corrections, the MiniMed seven eighty g system is the only system with meal detection technology that automatically detects rising sugar levels and delivers more insulin as needed to help keep your sugar levels in range even if you're not a perfect carb counter. Today's episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by Medtronic Diabetes and their MiniMed seven eighty g system, which gives you real choices because the MiniMed seven eighty g system works with the Instinct sensor made by Avid, as well as the Simplera Sync and Guardian Force sensors, giving you options. The Instinct Sensor is the longest wear sensor yet, lasting fifteen days and designed exclusively for the MiniMed seven eighty g. And don't forget, Medtronic Diabetes makes technology accessible for you with comprehensive insurance support, programs to help you with your out of pocket costs, or switching from other pump and CGM systems. Learn more and get started today with my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Scott BennerThe Kontoor Next Gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of the juice box podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contournext.com/juicebox, you're gonna find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, Kroger, and Meijer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter than you would pay through MyLink for the Contour Next Gen and Contour Next test strips in cash. What am I saying?
Scott BennerMy link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now even with your insurance. And I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that. But what I can say for sure is that the Kontoor Next Gen meter is accurate. It is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years.
Scott BennerKontoornext.com/juicebox. And if you already have a Kontoor meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the juice box podcast link will help to support the show.
How Agency Protects the Brain
Erika ForsythThat's yeah. It is a yes. It is a perfect storm. So what do we do with this? So what I think is really fascinating is to talk about how agency can play a protective role.
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythAgency doesn't eliminate anxiety as you were just sharing with the end of the ropes analogy. It can play a protective role, and it can help shift how you interface and interact with thoughts and feelings of anxiety. So the bullet points here that we're gonna get into is that agency can play a protective role in anxiety because it can increase your perceived control.
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythIt can support active active coping rather than avoidance or shutdown. It can reduce the escalation of your nervous system by interrupting your cycles of helplessness, and it will help shift the nervous system from the reactive threat state to more the regulated, I can make decisions, I can affect change to a more goal directed action.
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythSo we're gonna get into those things.
Scott BennerOkay. Yeah. So you're gonna step through them?
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerAwesome.
The Hand Model of the Brain
Erika ForsythBefore we do that, I thought it would be cool to talk about the brain. And as as I said before, I am not a neuro scientist. I'm not a neuropsychologist.
Scott BennerI am. No.
Erika ForsythI'm just Okay. Good. Good.
Scott BennerGood. By the way.
Erika ForsythBut yeah.
Scott BennerYou are a thing, by the way. You went to you went to college, at least.
Erika ForsythOkay. So agency, as we were saying, doesn't eliminate it, but it can change the way your nervous system reacts to the feeling of being out of control. Right? It can restore the sense of influence. So if you are familiar with doctor Dan Siegel, who has written a ton of books, he's a very well known psychiatrist and professor.
Erika ForsythHe wrote the whole brain child along with countless other books. He has created the hand model of the brain. So if you once you're done listening and you wanna go look up doctor Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, you can do that. But quickly, we I thought I could walk you through it. So if you're holding up your hand...
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythWith your palm up...
Scott BennerI'm doing it.
Erika ForsythOkay. Yes. Okay. So your wrist is the spinal cord
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythWhich goes up into the middle of your palm, which becomes the brain stem. So then if you fold your thumb over so you're still your your hand is open, but you're folding your thumb over. Yeah. Your thumb represents the limbic system, which houses the hippocampus, the amygdala. That's your fight or flight response.
Erika ForsythOkay? Oops. Okay. Then if you fold over your hand, that is your cortex. Okay?
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythAnd the cortex represents the upstairs brain, and that's responsible for your logical thinking, your empathy, your emotional balance. So when your fingers are down over your thumb, which is the limbic system, he calls that that's your integrated brain. And that's what your cortex is kind of online. Right? And it's managing your limbic system.
Erika ForsythIt's leading to calm, rational behavior. When your amygdala overrides the cortex, which is your fingers, then you he's he kind of defines it as your your lid is flipped. You flipped your lid, and your fingers go up.
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythOkay? And that basically is the example of, you know, you've your stress system, you've got have gone offline. Right? And to regain control, reactivating the prefrontal cortex, which are the prefrontal cortex are basically in this hand model of the brain, your fingertips, the, like, the first index Okay.
Erika ForsythOf your fingers. Okay.
Scott BennerYeah.
Erika ForsythFirst knuckle. Thank you. Yep. Through deep breathing, mindfulness, kind of restoring balance back into your brain. Did that that's a very, very simplified way to understand our brain.
Scott BennerI thought you could have just said, if you punch wrong, make your hand like that. That's thumb inside your finger. It's Okay.
Erika ForsythYes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. That's right.
Scott BennerDo you ever see a kid go like this? I'm like, oh, you're gonna break your thumb when you hit me.
Erika ForsythWait. So how are you supposed to punch?
Scott BennerYour your thumb should be on the outside underneath of your knuckles so that you lead with the tops of the long part of your hand like that.
Erika ForsythOkay. Yeah. Okay.
Scott BennerSo you don't want your thumb inside your hand.
Erika ForsythOkay. Good to know.
Scott BennerYeah. Well, now you know. Okay.
Erika ForsythOkay. So I think and the reason why it I think it's important and why doctor, Roy Deion Siegel has really spent a lot of time trying to educate people on the basic understanding of the brain is because he believes, you know, you you can change both the function and the structure of the brain by knowing about how the brain is structured. Or so I have an understanding, it really helps. And they teach this in schools. I bet if you're listening and you have children, I I wonder if you if they have not been taught already about the hand model of the brain.
Erika ForsythOkay. So why is that important? So as we talk about agency, as we're referencing parts of the brain, I thought that'd be interesting to know.
Scott BennerIt is. Yeah.
Erika ForsythOkay. Please. So so agency reduces the threat activity, which is the amygdala, right, which is the limbic system represented by your thumb. So when a person when you feel helpless or unsure what to do, the amygdala ramps up and you're feeling threatened, and you might you know, your lid is flipped, so to speak. Mhmm.
Erika ForsythBut when you feel like you can act and you're experiencing and have that sense of agency, the amygdala's alarm response decreases. You don't feel you're not experiencing those threat cues that something bad is about to happen. You're not entering into that fight, flight, or freeze mode, and then your body produces fewer of the stress hormone of cortisol. So why does this happen? Because if you are experiencing that perceived ability to act and influence outcomes, that situation that you're faced with is less is not as it's not threat based.
Erika ForsythIt's it's a challenge. Okay. I can problem solve. I can figure this out because I know I've learned when I do x, y happens. And I know that's very simple.
Erika ForsythAnd we're gonna talk about how this works or does not work with diabetes, but we're talking kind of in general.
When Diabetes "Flips Your Lid"
Scott BennerYeah. Can I tell you something really interesting?
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerI do this with a lot of frequency. I'm very transparent with people. Like, you know, Erica tells me what she wants to talk about. Sometimes I tell her. I let her lead the conversation.
Scott BennerShe comes with notes and everything. But sometimes just to help myself, I'll I'll open up on a a chatbot somewhere and I'll be like, agency and anxiety, like, just break it down for me. And you end up doing everything and I don't really need help. But when you brought up the hand model, I didn't have context for it at all. So I said to it it I told I told the robot.
Scott BennerI told it I said. And I just typed in the doctor's name and hand brain. So it broke it down for me.
Erika ForsythMhmm.
Scott BennerAnd the question I had leaving that description was, what makes you flip your lid? So I just I swear to you, I just said, what flips the lid? And everything it gave me back, it contextualized around diabetes even though I did not mention diabetes at all in this. This LLM knows the podcast I make.
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerAnd it, so I don't know. Be be be scared or be happy. I'm not sure exactly what, but it it's I it under what flips the lid, it said sudden high stakes uncertainty like a jump scare. What could that look like? A sudden double arrow down on a CGM when you're driving or an unexpected occlusion alarm in the middle of the night.
Scott BennerNumber two, cognitive exhaustion, decision fatigue. The lid flips not because a specific number is terrifying, but because the logical brain is just too tired to do the math one more time.
Erika ForsythMhmm.
Scott BennerThis is when a slightly stubborn blood sugar at APM causes a comp a complete emotional breakdown, whereas the exact same number at 10AM may have been handled with more calm. Number three, the collapse of the action response map, total loss of agency. The brain interrupts this unpredictability not as a math error, but as a total loss of agency and a profound betrayal of the body by the body. The helplessness circuit lights up and logic is abandoned because logic didn't work anyway. And the amygdala takes the wheel in a state of deep frustration or grief, which by the way is fascinating because I always say to people, like, why do you always just say, well, that's just diabetes?
Scott BennerAnd what they're saying is, I did something logical and it doesn't work. That's how diabetes goes. Like, that's so fascinating to put that together there.
Erika ForsythYes. And that's what we're gonna get into.
Scott BennerOh my god. Am I foreshadowing?
Erika ForsythYou are foreshadowing.
Scott BennerShould I do the fourth one, do you wanna leave leave me alone? She's like, why don't I just go if you're gonna do this? Yeah. Physiologically.
Erika ForsythI'll see you next week.
Scott BennerYeah. Bye, everybody. Sleep deprivation illness is this physiological vulnerability, and especially hypoglycemia. When blood sugar drops, the brain is literally starved of glucose and needs the power of their prefrontal cortex. Well, there you go, everybody.
Scott BennerGo down because I'm sorry.
Erika ForsythKnow that when your when your lid is flipped...
Scott BennerYeah.
Erika ForsythYour your cortex has gone offline. Right?
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythAnd yes. So what we want we're in kind of going through the steps, and those those are all great illustrations of what makes your lid flip. We are gonna talk through what is it in in more, some more illustrations as well is that that paradox of the agency and the anxiety.
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythAnd so agency increases, and that's what we want, is more of that prefrontal cortex engagement. Right? Because that's again, it's responsible for the planning, the decision making. It can regulate your motion, and you're constantly integrating information Mhmm. Through the prefrontal cortex, which is the part that's right behind your forehead.
Erika ForsythYep. Okay. So when agency is present, and this is it you know, the p f the prefrontal cortex comes back online, allowing you to flexible thinking, problem solving, you also are remembering prior successes, which is an important piece. Like, hey. Last time, this I did this, and this worked Mhmm.
Erika ForsythWhich, again, is interesting with diabetes. Right? Because sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. So you're you're shifting from reactive to intentional, and you're able to do that because you're engaging in that that prefrontal cortex is engaged.
Scott BennerSo you trust that what you know is going to happen is going to happen, and that creates, like, resonance Reinforces. The agency again.
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerYeah.
Erika ForsythYes. It's a reinforcement cycle.
Sympathetic vs Parasympathetic Nervous Systems
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythSo agency shifts. We have we have the autonomic nervous system, which some people say is composed of two branches, some people say three. But the the two kind of main nervous system branches that we think about are the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. So when we have the sympathetic dominance, we might be experiencing low agency, and this is where the physical experience of anxiety lies. Right?
Erika ForsythWe have the shallow breathing. You might be feeling on edge. Your heart is racing. You might have thought racing. You might be on high alert.
Erika ForsythRight? Like that experience that you would just have the double arrow down. Yeah. That might trigger a a sympathetic response, and or you might already be there. And then you see the double arrow down, and then that reinforces that that fear response.
Erika ForsythOkay. If you have active agency, you might have more of a parasympathetic dominance, and that is the nervous system that that part of your nervous system slows down your breathing. You're able to ground yourself. You have more capacity to deliberate your decisions and and and consequences, and you have that decreased panic like sensation. So there's a reason why when we say you're experiencing that increased heart rate, the increase, the thought racing, the shakiness of anxiety, the most the most common, you know, first intervention you'll hear is to do your deep breathing
Scott BennerYeah.
Erika ForsythAnd that's to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.
Scott BennerThis is fascinating. Thank you for bringing this up. Like Okay. Yeah. Real really.
Scott BennerThen keep going, but thank you.
Erika ForsythOkay. Okay. Good. Good. Okay.
Erika ForsythSo and that's what I just said. Like, you know, that's why doing something when you but but that's the hard it's hard. Right? When you are in this panic state and maybe even experiencing a panic attack
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythAnd people say, well, just, you know, do your deep breathing. Do your grounding exercises. It almost feels impossible to do in in a really heightened state of panic. So as you're anticipating and feeling the symptoms leading up to perhaps even a panic attack, doing something does actually feel calming, whether that's the grounding or the breathing or even making a plan or doing something and engaging with your diabetes does reduce the intensity of the sympathetic nervous system. Okay.
Erika ForsythShould I keep going?
Scott BennerI think yeah. I'm not gonna stop you. I'm having a good time. Yeah.
Erika ForsythOkay. So so agency also disrupts and it kind of interrupts this helplessness circuit. So the the formal term is neural neural circuitry. It's hard to to to define. I actually looked it up to see if I could define it well, but, basically, it's the way we learn things.
Erika ForsythAnd, you can have learned helplessness comes from that neural circuitry, unless you find no good way to describe it or define it in simple terms with neuron neuron.
Scott BennerGot beyond our, you got beyond our depth there.
Erika ForsythYes. Yeah. It did. It did. Beyond our my, pay grade here.
Erika ForsythSo when you have repeated experiences of unpredictability or failure, right, which happens a lot and and, you know, in various life's life experiences
Scott BennerMhmm.
Erika ForsythThat's how you you develop this learned helplessness. And then it you can often experience that, well, I don't I don't even wanna try. I'm not motivated. You might experience shutdown, overwhelm because of that. What agency does, or again, going back to that belief that I can influence outcomes, I can act, I can make this choice, I can do this, make this decision, it creates those micro successes that then retrain that nervous system, your neural pathways.
Erika ForsythAnd you can say, I act, I something changes. When I respond or do this, things improve. When I use my skills or my the things that I've learned, I can influence the outcome. The challenge is we wanna have all of that automatically. Right?
Erika ForsythLike, we wanna know we wanna have that that faith and trust in ourselves. The challenge is is building patience because that occurs over time. These small corrective experiences accumulate, and then that is what reshapes the the brains the the neural pathways in your brain.
Building Agency Through Micro-Successes
Scott BennerRight. It's that saying, I don't know what I I it's a it's a how do you eat? It's like a big animal. How do you eat Oh, yes. What's what's the saying?
Erika ForsythHow do you eat, like, a buffalo? It's like one bite at a time. Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah. Like, I I Yeah. That and fake it till you make it jumped into my head. So I figured when, like, when you're really when everything's a real show, just fake it until you make it because you trick yourself into believing you're succeeding. And then that's a little micro win.
Scott BennerRight?
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerAnd then they build up and get bigger and bigger and bigger, and then you just take the problem in chunks that are handleable, and then you move on. And then those grow and grow and grow, and that builds your confidence. Then your confidence gives you agency, and then eventually, that's just what is this all the people mean when they're like, hey. Just do it for a while to get better. Is that really is that it?
Erika ForsythYes. But and and that's it. That's very simplified because then what gets in the way that we've talked about, I think, in other episodes or series is the cognitive distortions get in the way. Right. Right?
Erika ForsythLike, well, if I can't do all or nothing thinking or the catastrophic types of thinking, which leads to, you know, different types and experiences of anxiety Mhmm. Well, if I can't figure this all out, then I'm a failure or whatever it may be. So that's that's what interferes with that mindset.
Scott BennerThe fallibility of humans is what gets in the way at some point. Right? Like, it's it's us. At some point, we are the bottleneck for everything. You know, you get into a situation and you're making good progress, but you feel like it's not going quickly enough so you try to take a bigger chunk out.
Scott BennerThat bigger chunk makes it overwhelming and you slide back to its chutes and ladders, then you slide back to where you started. And you just have to be able to pace yourself, taking good information, get a little wind, but, you know, I I really don't I'm gonna say something out loud that I'm sure it'll be mocked by most people listening, but I don't wanna make this about me. But when I stop and think about how I've structured the podcast, I'm fascinated by how much of it is coming out of this except I've never heard about this before today when you started telling me about it. Really is like, I'm not giving myself I might be patting myself on the back, but I don't mean to be. I mean to I mean to, like, focus on the idea of, like, like, my dumb like, just took the way I got through life.
Scott BennerOh, because I grew up in a really bad situation. I've probably done all these things and I didn't realize it. Like, right, segmented myself, did one little thing at a time, didn't get out of over my skis, took my time to get to the thing, made it a little better, reset, did it again. And then I just took the common sense way that I got through that. And then I I just said this to Jenny today when we were recording earlier in the day.
Scott BennerAnd I said, all I really do, if you really listen to the podcast, I just take common sense life advice and remove a couple of words and jam diabetes words into it. And I'm like, this is a common sense way to take care of this problem. That's all I'm doing. I don't know anything about diabetes. I know about, like, problem solving.
Scott BennerI think that maybe is what I'm good at because my whole life's been a goddamn problem. Oh, yeah. That all makes sense. Okay. I'm not What do not?
Scott BennerCo pay because that would not be illegal. You are not my therapist. Keep moving.
Erika ForsythMy gosh. Okay. So agency, we we kind of have already said this maybe in the beginning, but it it thrives when our brain cannot predict the outcome. Right? And, like, what it cannot predict.
Erika ForsythThere's that sense of unknown. And what when agency thrives is when we have these patterns, these templates, and we have these internal models that we our brain just wants to know. Like, our brain we thrive. Right? We thrive in if I do this, then I know this is gonna happen.
Scott BennerOkay.
Erika ForsythAnd that feels very safe and secure. And we are always looking for that type of reliance and security. Mhmm. Okay. So, yes, so the nervous system is looking for that, and then we experience that sense of calm, and it relaxes when we know the map.
Erika ForsythRight? And even though the map isn't always going to be perfect and a 100% reliable and predictable, and that's the hard part.
Scott BennerOh, even if the end isn't gonna be great, knowing the path is relaxing. Yes. Oh. Yes. It's interesting.
Erika ForsythYes.
Scott BennerIs that why some people are scared by horror movies and some people aren't? Oh. Because, like, if you tell yourself going in, everybody's gonna get axed to death and be dead, then it's not that scary because it's coming. And you know it and you're ready for it, and it's less jarring. A person who's like, I wonder what's gonna happen next is gonna be jump scared by it more.
Scott BennerMaybe. This is a ham ham fisted Yes. Explanation, but, like, let me make it more real world.
Erika ForsythOkay.
Scott BennerA lot of stuff went wrong in my life. I expect things to go wrong. When they do, I'm like, okay. Well, you know, we'll get the soldiers out and we'll point them in the right direction and we'll overcome this. But I'm not I'm not upset by it going wrong.
Scott BennerI expect it to go wrong. And why am I not upset by it? Because I've gotten through it so many different times that I have a a healthy expectation that I'll get through whatever comes next too. And I don't know. I could take this out farther if you needed to.
Scott BennerI also am not a very religious person. I don't believe in an afterlife. So I just think you're here as long as you can be. And even when death comes, I am very like, okay. Well, this is part of it.
Scott BennerLike, you know, like, we we got as far as we could. We did well and, you know, now mom's going. And this is sad, but, like, I'm not like I I I I really don't I've been saying this out loud. I don't wanna say it the wrong way, but, like, like, my mom's death wasn't devastating to me. Like, it was it was upsetting and it's terrible and I wish she was here right now, but with a little bit of space of time, I'm okay.
Scott BennerWhereas I have friends whose parents have been gone for fifteen years and they are still as shattered as if it happened yesterday. And I and I wonder how much of that, you know, has to do with the maybe a Pollyanna way of thinking about life to some degree. Oh, Pollyanna is the right word. That might be insulting. I don't mean it that way.
Scott BennerBut, like, I expect things to go wrong. So I don't know. Maybe just having fought through it a couple of times gives you you know what I mean? Like, when the bullets start flying, why do some people duck and some people run forward? That kind of feeling.
Erika ForsythOh my gosh. You're you're asking some sick deep questions. Sorry. When you say you expect things to go wrong, I almost wanna challenge that and say it almost like but you expect you don't expect perfection.
Scott BennerYou're I was just gonna you brought that up, and I was gonna correct myself. I just don't expect everything to go perfectly. And so when it doesn't
Erika Forsythbecause it feels differently.
Scott BennerOkay. So you use my there. You use your less coarse wording. I don't expect everything to go perfectly. I expect there to be bumps and bruises along the way, and I have a good confidence that I can bring things back into toe and keep going a little bit because I've done it so many times.
Scott BennerAnd I've had bigger prop I think I've already experienced with the exception of what I would imagine would be my own death, my wife's death, or god god, I hope my children will go before me. That with the exception of those things, the worst stuff that's ever gonna happen to me has probably already happened.
Erika ForsythYes. Yes.
Scott BennerEven if life just plays out reasonably well for me, it's a win. It's way better than what I've been through already. And having that experience lets me not feel like, oh, no. What's coming next? I never feel that way.
Scott BennerI just think like, oh, what's like, it's this is only gonna fit for the people who've seen it, but, like, it's in the West Wing way of, like, you know, when, the president would go, what's the
Erika ForsythI have not I need to I need to watch it.
Scott BennerI don't West Wing? How's wrong with you?
Erika ForsythNot in its entirety. I know. I know. But all
Scott Bennerthe times after a crazy day of, like, everything going wrong and the whole world blowing up, they'd get through it and the president would look up and go, what's next? And that's kinda how I feel. Like, alright. We did that. And then maybe tomorrow will be chill.
Scott BennerAnd I gotta be honest with you, if three or four days go by and just chill, it's kinda boring. I had the night off last night and, like, by 09:00, was like, I guess I should just go to sleep. This sucks.
Erika ForsythYou you have high agency. I mean, that's
Scott BennerYou know, where the fuck where does
Erika Forsyththat come
Scott Bennerfrom now?
Erika ForsythI feel like.
Scott BennerThat's ridiculous, though. You know enough about my life. I shouldn't have that.
Erika ForsythBut you do because you have have all of these micro successes, but you also hold the flexibility that it isn't going to go perfectly, but you have enough moments over time that you can affect change.
Scott BennerLuck, isn't it, though? Like, could could a couple I'm
Erika Forsythtrying to think of it
Scott Bennerin what context of those things have just gone sideways on me, I wouldn't feel that way. You know what I mean? Like, so if that's if that was a conscious decision I made or someone made for me that moved me in the right direction, like, couldn't somebody have made a decision that put me in a wrong direction and I wouldn't have the confidence that things were gonna work out, and I'd be one of those people running around saying the sky's falling. And then every time something happens, they're like, see? See?
Scott BennerWe're all gonna die. Like like that feel instead I'm just like, oh, wow. Another problem. Something fun to fix. I like fixing problems.
Erika ForsythThere's like a balance of optimism and hope.
Wrap Up & Preparing for Part Two
Scott BennerAnd I never would have used the word agency before today. I would have said confidence that I can get through it. But now as you're talking, I realized an agency. Okay. So how do we give each other are we up to that part yet?
Scott BennerSorry.
Erika ForsythSo I think we're we're just about there. So, yes, the the nervous system I think we can pause here, like.
Scott BennerJump back in for our next another part. Where do you think?
Erika ForsythI think so. Let's we can pause here.
Scott BennerErica, put a pin in it.
Erika ForsythLet's oh my gosh. So, yes, in general, when agency is strong, anxiety is less likely to spiral into that feeling of overwhelm. I think what might be interesting for us to talk about in the next episode is, you know, applying this this concept and conversation of agency and anxiety through the lens of of living with diabetes.
Scott BennerThat sounds good. Name five things Scott would never say for $500. Put a pin in it. It's definitely one of
Erika Forsyththem. Yes. After after agency.
Scott BennerYes. I never would have said agency. I would have just said, like, I would have said something stupid like, my life's been forged in fire. Like, you know
Erika ForsythOr resilience.
Scott BennerSharpens iron, like, that kind of crap. You know what I mean? Like, something you would've heard on a bro podcast somewhere. You you know, like, who's gonna row the boat, Erica? Who?
Scott BennerI love that one. Who's gonna row the boat? You're nine feet tall. You row it. I can think I'll just ride it.
Scott BennerHow's that sound?
Erika ForsythOh. Oh my gosh.
Scott BennerBut seriously, though, like, this is really this was wonderful. Thank you.
Erika ForsythOh, good.
Scott BennerHow did we get to this? Was this your idea? This was awesome. I should listen to you more.
Erika ForsythThank you.
Scott BennerNo. Really great. I'll talk to you soon.
Erika ForsythOkay. Thanks. Bye.
Closing & Additional Resources
Scott BennerHaving an easy to use and accurate blood glucose meter is just one click away. Contournext.com/juicebox. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by the Contour Next Gen blood glucose meter. I'd like to remind you again about the MiniMed seven eighty g automated insulin delivery system, which, of course, anticipates, adjusts, and corrects every five minutes twenty four seven.
Scott BennerIt works around the clock so you can focus on what matters. The Juice Box community knows the importance of using technology to simplify managing diabetes. To learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes, visit my link, medtronicdiabetes.com/juicebox. Okay. Well, here we are at the end of the episode.
Scott BennerYou're still with me? Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review?
Scott BennerMaybe you could make sure you're following or subscribe in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me, or Instagram, TikTok. Oh, gosh. Here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page. You don't wanna miss please, do you not know about the private group?
Scott BennerYou have to join the private group. As of this recording, it has 74,000 members. They're active talking about diabetes. Whatever you need to know, there's a conversation happening in there right now. And I'm there all the time.
Scott BennerTag me. I'll say hi. My grand rounds series was designed by listeners to tell doctors what they need, and it also helps you to understand what to ask for. There's a mental wellness series that addresses the emotional side of diabetes and practical ways to stay balanced. And when we talk about GLP medications, well, we'll break down what they are, how they may help you, and if they fit into your diabetes management plan.
Scott BennerWhat do these three things have in common? They're all available at juiceboxpodcast.com, up in the menu. I know it can be hard to find these things in a podcast app, so we've collected them all for you at juiceboxpodcast.com. Have a podcast? Want it to sound fantastic?
Scott BennerWrong way recording.com.
#1871 Tough Love
Dakota returns after switching from the iLet to the Medtronic 780G. In a tough-love session, Scott helps Dakota realize his pump isn't the problem—his habits are.
Key Takeaways
- Automated insulin delivery (AID) systems are powerful, but they still require user input; ignoring prompts or neglecting to announce meals will inevitably lead to erratic blood sugars.
- Constantly blaming the pump technology for poor outcomes often masks the real issue: avoiding the fundamental actions of diabetes management, such as pre-bolusing.
- A cycle of rebellion against diabetes—refusing to take action because you "don't want to be told what to do"—ultimately lets diabetes dictate your life through exhausting highs and lows.
- Taking proactive, offensive steps (like treating a mild low early or changing a site before bed) puts you in control, preventing much larger, more stressful problems later.
- It is essential to accept your reality and commit to consistent, small daily actions; doing the work isn't always fun, but it is the only reliable path to a healthy and happy life.
Resources Mentioned
Introduction and Sponsors
Scott BennerWelcome back, friends, to another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
DakotaI'm Dakota, back on the podcast again, to tell everyone my experience with the Medtronic seven eighty g.
Scott BennerIf you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast private Facebook group.
Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes.
But everybody is welcome.
Type one, type two, gestational, loved ones, it doesn't matter to me.
If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort, or community, check out Juice Box podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook.
Scott BennerHave you tried the small sip series?
They're curated takeaways from the Juice Box podcast voted on by listeners as the most helpful insights for managing their diabetes.
These bite sized pieces of wisdom cover essential topics like insulin timing, carb management, and balancing highs and lows, making it easier for you to incorporate real life strategies into your daily routine.
Dive deep, take a sip, and discover what our community finds most valuable on the journey to better diabetes management.
For more information on small sips, go to juiceboxpodcast.com.
Scott BennerClick on the word series in the menu.
Nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise.
Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan.
The episode you're about to listen to is sponsored by Tandem Moby, the impressively small insulin pump.
Tandem Mobi features Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology.
Scott BennerIt's designed for greater discretion, more freedom, and improved time and range.
Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox.
Today's episode is also sponsored by Touched by Type one.
Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram, and, of course, at touchedbytype1.org.
Check out that programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes.
Scott BennerTouched bytype1.org.
The podcast is also sponsored today by the Eversense three sixty five, the one year wear CGM.
That's one insertion a year.
That's it.
And here's a little bonus for you.
Scott BennerHow about there's no limit on how many friends and family you can share your data with with the Eversense Now app?
No limits.
Eversense.
Pump Transitions: From iLet to Medtronic
DakotaI'm Dakota.
Back on the podcast again to tell everyone my experience with the Medtronic seven eighty g.
Scott BennerOkay.
Dakota, you were on before.
Do you know the episode you were on?
DakotaIt was fourteen ten, I wanna say.
Scott BennerLook at you.
I like that you know.
Thank you.
Let me see if I can pull up fourteen ten real quick.
And I will use my very own website for that.
Scott BennerSearch the archive.
Fourteen ten.
Islet user experience.
Yep.
Dakota moved from from Omnipod five to Islet, and now I guess you went from Islet to?
DakotaMini med Medtronic seven eighty g.
Scott BennerWhat precipitated your change?
DakotaI was getting lots of, rapid swings with the an unpredictability with the eyelet.
Scott BennerGive me some examples.
DakotaJust I mean, same with, like, the Omnipod that we had talked about in the last episode.
400 to 40 in the same day.
I let sometimes I was waking up with, like, 17 units on board.
I didn't know what to what to expect with it.
Like, what was it gonna do next?
Scott BennerOkay.
DakotaIt's kind of where it had gotten to.
I'd done a couple resets to try to let the algorithm relearn me.
Scott BennerMhmm.
DakotaBut it always ended up in the same place.
Scott BennerOkay.
So now you're using the seven eighty g?
DakotaYep.
Scott BennerOkay.
Has this been any different for you?
DakotaYeah.
I have more control with the seven eighty g.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Scott BennerIs it still similar to this experience you were having in the the last two iterations?
DakotaNo.
No.
But I have issues with basal rising overnight
Scott BennerOkay.
DakotaWith the seven eighty g.
Scott BennerSo if you don't mind, let's start with the islet pump, and then we'll go to this transition.
DakotaOkay.
Scott BennerOkay.
So how do you get trained for the islet pump?
DakotaI let's see.
It was a video call, between me, the trainer, and the diabetic educator at, the office Okay.
That I was being seen at.
Scott BennerAnd what's the promise of that pump when they're describing to you how it works and what you should expect?
What did you initially think was going to happen?
DakotaI wouldn't have to think about diabetes anymore.
Scott BennerOkay.
That didn't turn out to be the case?
DakotaDid it at first, and then it and then I started having to wonder what was gonna happen next.
Scott BennerOkay.
So at first, what was your so your initial experience with Ilet was what?
DakotaIt was good.
I didn't have to carb count.
I announced my meals, and it did a pretty good job of keeping me in range, between seventy and eighty percent of the time.
Scott BennerOkay.
And what range is it shooting for?
DakotaOne ten, was my target.
Scott BennerThe target was one ten.
But what what did you call low, and what would you call high?
Dakota75 to one eighty.
Scott BennerOkay.
And so you think you were 70 or 80% of the time in that range?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerOkay.
With the islet initially.
Now when it started to change, did something change about your life?
Did your activity level change?
Did anything else?
The Real Issue: Rebellion and Routine
Scott BennerDid you the way you ate shift?
DakotaYeah.
My life changed.
Diagnosed with ADHD, forgetting to announce meals would start becoming an issue.
Okay.
My eating habits had changed.
DakotaI I still struggle with some disordered eating.
Scott BennerSo can you put that into words for me?
Describe how it impacts you?
What happens?
DakotaI don't really I try not to think about it, so I don't even really know how to, like, explain it into words.
But I want to eat what I want to eat, and I don't like having people dictate that.
And I don't like the carb count.
So I think that's where the issue comes together.
It's all eat these things, full packages of stuff sometimes, and I won't count the carbs.
DakotaAnd if the machine any machine doesn't know
Scott BennerIt's not gonna know what to do if you don't tell them.
DakotaInto your body exactly.
Scott BennerSo yep.
Let me just ask you a question.
Okay?
Yep.
You don't want anybody to tell you what to do.
Scott BennerAnd when that happens, it feels like what?
Diabetes is telling you what to do or your doctor is or your mom or like what's the vibe?
Diabetes.
Diabetes.
Okay.
Scott BennerSo diabetes wants you to do something and you're saying, fuck you.
I'm not doing what you tell me.
You're that, you're that song.
The Rage Against the Machine song.
What's it called?
DakotaIs it Bulls Against Parade?
Scott BennerIt's the other one.
I don't think it's Bulls Against Parade.
I think it's the, I think, I don't know.
That's not important.
And so, like, you you you say, fuck you.
Scott BennerI'm not I won't do what you tell me.
And and that's some sort of defiance that you think you have built in with your ADHD, or where do you think that comes from?
DakotaI feel like I've been growing up more in, like, becoming an adult.
So I think the last time we talked, I was 27.
I'm gonna be turning 29 soon.
Scott BennerMhmm.
DakotaAnd just with that comes
Scott BennerThe feeling like you're gonna have to do it?
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerOkay.
So my question would be, all the stuff that's coming from not doing the things that you're supposed to be doing, are you happy that those they have like, is is it is it like a is it a net positive?
Like, well, I my blood sugar's high and it's low, but I didn't do what I was told by diabetes.
So it's a trade I'm willing to make or no?
DakotaSee.
And that's how I felt at first, but now I'm wanting to gain that control back.
Scott BennerOkay.
Because if you wanna do what you wanna do, then and and trust me, I'm not in your head, so I have no idea.
But then isn't this as simple as you deciding that this is what you want?
And then instead of diabetes telling you what to do, aren't you telling yourself to do that?
And then isn't that okay?
DakotaI feel guilty about doing it.
Scott BennerOkay.
How come?
DakotaBecause I know it's not the right decision.
Scott BennerWait.
So to start over, you feel guilty about doing what?
DakotaLetting my blood sugar go high.
Scott BennerYou feel guilty about letting your blood sugar go high.
So you're having this situation where you don't wanna be told what to do.
You're happy to not do it because that's you being independent or, you know, in control or whatever.
And then the outcome is the higher blood sugar, and then you feel guilt around that.
DakotaYeah.
I don't like the outcome.
Scott BennerSo you caught in a cycle?
DakotaIt feels like it.
Scott BennerOkay.
What do you think the simplest break to the cycle is?
You know what mean?
Like, you're gonna swing at that circle to try to put a put a break in it, like, what's the thing that would be easiest for you to, I don't know, make a make an agreement with?
DakotaThe easiest thing to make an agreement with.
Scott BennerBecause you've already told me you don't wanna be high.
Like, you're here telling me my blood sugar's swinging all over the place.
This isn't okay.
So that's you saying that something that impacts that
DakotaNeeds to change.
Scott BennerNeed well, it needs to change or or you need to let it change because you're I mean, honestly, you're I've talked to you now once and and again, you're a bright person.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're trying really hard for yourself.
Like, you're putting a ton of effort into all this.
You must know, like, intellectually, like, it wouldn't take this much effort to just do it right.
DakotaYeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And, like, sometimes I'll be at work, and I won't I'll be ignoring the fact that I'm, like, going low because I'm so busy.
Mhmm.
DakotaAnd, I'll dismiss the alarm.
You know, I'm not low low yet.
Still above 70.
Whatever.
Go on.
DakotaIt starts cutting off.
And it starts holding back the insulin, right, as the algorithms do.
And then it's time for lunch, and I haven't had any insulin flowing for a while now.
And then I go to eat, and my blood sugar skyrockets Mhmm.
Even with a pre bolus.
DakotaThat constantly happens, and then I'm thinking, well, if I would have just dealt with it in the moment, taking a couple glucose tabs, this wouldn't have happened.
Scott BennerRight.
So tell me what what's the human part of it that makes that undoable?
Is it the feeling that your body doesn't work the way it's supposed to and you don't want to you don't wanna live in a world where that's true?
Or
DakotaYeah.
Yeah.
In I I mean, I went twenty five years without having diabetes.
Scott BennerYeah.
DakotaIt's yeah.
I still remember that very well.
Scott BennerI don't wanna do this.
I don't wanna do this.
I don't wanna do this.
Yep.
Yep.
Scott BennerSo life, like, shifts.
Right?
Like, it changes.
And I realized that this is a big change that comes out of nowhere, and it's not a slow drift into something.
You're okay one day, and the next day, you need to, you know, give yourself insulin through a pump fifteen minutes before you eat.
Scott BennerAnd that's a it's not the same as, you know, a a slow kind of glacial shift that happens with a lot of things in life.
Do you believe life would be finite?
Do you think you're gonna die one day and that's gonna be it for you?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerYou do.
Okay.
So do you see what I'm gonna say next?
You only have so much time.
DakotaYes.
Yeah.
Scott BennerWhy are you wasting it on this?
Just when you're 70, just take some sugar.
We and then all that comes after that is is dismissed.
It's gone.
It never happens.
Scott BennerLike, you have there's all this consternation about, you know, I know I'm low.
I don't wanna do what I don't wanna do.
This isn't fair.
I shouldn't have diabetes, so I don't do it.
So I get low.
Scott BennerMy system's been cutting off my insulin for a while.
Then I eat.
My blood sugar shoots high.
I fight with that for three or four hours.
I probably get low afterwards.
Scott BennerThen I go on a podcast to tell people the pump doesn't work.
Pump but pump works fine, by the way.
You're you're you're Yes.
You're not helping it.
Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
All all of them.
I don't know.
I mean,
Dakotayou know, and and then I'm then I'm like,
Scott Bennerwell, I'll try this pump.
By the way, this thing you're doing, super common.
I see it online all the time.
I got a tandem pump.
It sucks.
Scott BennerI got Omnipod five, but that sucks.
So I'm trying this and this sucked and that sucks and this sucks.
Do you pre bowls?
No.
Do you stop low blood sugars?
Scott BennerNo.
Do you know what just happened?
Yeah.
How come you don't do it differently?
It's the pump.
Scott BennerThe pump sucks.
It's not
Dakotathe pump.
We want the we want the pump to fix it.
Scott BennerYeah.
It's not going to.
Dakota.
Yeah.
That that's not gonna happen.
DakotaAnd for some reason, like, even when you know that, it still feels like that's the impression that they're trying to
Scott BennerWell, that's marketing.
DakotaYeah.
Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
Okay.
That's what's his jingle behind you?
Is there a cat behind you?
What's happening?
DakotaOh.
What was that?
Was that you or was it was it in here?
It's it's the cords on my Oh, okay.
Head's going to hit my neck.
Scott BennerI thought your I thought your cat was running through the room with a bell around its neck like it was 1947.
So, I mean, your conversation really to me is more about this.
I bet you any of these pumps would work fine for you.
And so you're looking for the one that most ignores the fact that you have diabetes and still gives you reasonable outcomes where you're not high or low?
DakotaYeah.
And works with the way I want my lifestyle to be.
Sponsor Break
Scott BennerDo you see that existing somewhere?
Peggy, maybe you're here to tell me the mini made seven eighty g fixed the whole thing.
It's all perfect.
Is that true?
No.
Scott BennerOkay.
Well, then so you want your lifestyle to be a certain way, but you're, can I talk to you like we're like, I'm your dad for a second?
But yes.
But okay.
DakotaYes, please.
To go to the consumer.
Somebody needs to.
But
Scott Bennerlook at all the time you've wasted waiting for that thing to come that might not come.
Why would you settle for changing your CGM every few weeks when you can have 365 of reliable glucose data?
Today's episode is sponsored by the Eversense three sixty five.
It is the only CGM with a tiny sensor that lasts a full year sitting comfortably under your skin with no more frequent sensor changes and essentially no compression lows for one year.
You'll get your CGM data in real time on your phone, smartwatch, Android, or iOS, even an Apple Watch.
Scott BennerPredictive high and low alerts let you know where your glucose is headed before it gets there, so there's no surprises, just confidence.
And you can instantly share that data with your health care provider or your family.
You're going to get one year of reliable data without all those sensor changes.
That's the Eversense three sixty five.
Gentle on your skin, strong for your life, one sensor a year that gives you one less thing to worry about.
Scott BennerHead now to eversensecgm.com/juicebox to get started.
Let's talk about the Tandem Mobi insulin pump from today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care.
Their newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology and the new Tandem Mobi pump offer you unique opportunities to have better control.
It's the only system with auto bolus that helps with missed meals and preventing hyperglycemia, the only system with a dedicated sleep setting, and the only system with off or on body wear options.
Tandem Mobi gives you more discretion, freedom, and options for how to manage your diabetes.
Scott BennerThis is their best algorithm ever, and they'd like you to check it out at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox.
When you get to my link, you're going to see integrations with Dexcom sensors and a ton of other information that's gonna help you learn about Tandem's tiny pump that's big on control.
Tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox.
The Tandem Mobi system is available for people ages two and up who want an automated delivery system to help them sleep better, wake up in range, and address high blood sugars with auto bolus.
Yeah.
Real Solutions: Taking Action and Making a Plan
Scott BennerYeah.
So if you've given away four years to, like, this isn't right.
It shouldn't be like this.
Damn it.
Like, somebody fix it.
Scott BennerI mean, yes, it's a lot of effort you would have put into it, but it wouldn't have been four years worth of effort.
I mean, I genuinely believe that when you make meaningful actions upfront, you cut out a lot of unnecessary problems in the back end that also need your your time and attention.
And then worse, put you in situations where your blood sugar's low or high.
Like, wouldn't you rather make small meaningful, like, steps a handful of times a day and then avoid those lows and those highs and eating when you don't want to and being you know what I mean?
Like, it's a psychological thing, Dakota.
Scott BennerIt's got nothing to do with diabetes or the pump or anything else.
Like, there's something inside of you that says I mean, it's well, I don't want it to be this way.
And if it's gonna be, then it's gonna be a mess, and then I'll blame diabetes afterwards.
But and maybe that's true, by the way.
Maybe diabetes did put you in this situation.
Scott BennerI'm not saying that's not the case.
What I'm saying is it doesn't change the reality or what your life is like day to day or, you know, time after time.
But by the way, time goes very quickly.
You know.
Yes.
Scott BennerLike, you know, you're gonna be 40 before you know it.
Do you really wanna be a 40 year old guy on a 70 year old guy's podcast talking about, like, I tried the the Maximus nine pump, but it didn't do it.
And I'm over here going, like, sleeping because I can barely stay awake.
I don't know how to describe to you what to do.
It's not me.
Scott BennerIf I had diabetes, I think I'd even know less.
Like, all I can tell you is that the simple principles that run a reasonable life will run a reasonable life with diabetes too.
Absolutely.
You listen to the podcast a lot.
Right?
DakotaNo.
I don't listen to any podcast as much as I used to in the past.
Scott BennerBut you have listened to this podcast a lot at some point.
Okay.
Yes.
My point is is that I only talk about diabetes and but just basically, like, a reasonable way that you would talk about anything else.
You know?
Scott BennerLike, I don't know.
Your laundry.
You can either do a little bit of laundry every couple of days or once every two weeks, look in your room and go, oh my god.
What happened?
And then spend two days doing the laundry being mad at yourself the whole time.
Scott BennerLike, that's it.
It's like pre bolus.
Don't be mad at yourself later.
Do a little laundry today.
Take it out of the dryer.
Scott BennerFold it up.
Put it away.
Do it again in three or four days.
It takes five minutes of effort to put it in the laundry machine.
It takes twenty minutes of effort to fold it up.
Scott BennerAnd three days, you don't think about your laundry.
Or spend the next ten days staring at the pile of laundry in your room loathing yourself for not doing it.
It's life.
It it applies to everything.
Change the oil in your car before your car stops working.
Scott BennerThat's all.
If you don't, the motor blows up, and then it costs you $8,000 to put a new motor in your car.
And the whole time you're driving it, you're worried.
I think the car is gonna blow up.
I don't know how to pay for the $8,000 when the motor goes.
Scott BennerI don't know where to take it to get it fixed.
I oh my god.
I can't afford this.
I might be just needing a car.
I can't afford a new car.
Scott BennerWhat did I do?
Why didn't I just change the oil?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Like, just don't do it.
Scott BennerIt never happens.
DakotaDeal with it now.
Scott BennerYeah.
Do it now.
When the bills come, Dakota open them.
Even if you don't have the money, open the envelope up and say, fair's fair.
I owe a $180 to the electric company.
Scott BennerAt least I know when it's out in the open.
Rather than let the the bill sit on your countertop for a month mocking you.
By the way, it could be it could be $75 this month.
You don't know.
You haven't looked at it.
DakotaExactly.
So now
Scott Benneryou're just worrying about it for no reason.
Does any of this make sense?
DakotaYes.
No.
It all makes sense.
And I even
Scott Bennerwant to grow up in the jungle.
What happened?
DakotaI had parents.
I don't know.
Scott BennerIt's tough.
Did they yell at you?
They should have yelled at you more.
I would have yelled at you.
No.
Scott BennerSo seriously, like, you're how old did you say?
DakotaI'll be 29 in a month.
You'll
Scott Bennerbe 29 in a month.
Okay.
When I was 29, I had a baby and I owned a house.
You can just jump into life and start doing it.
It doesn't get harder or easier.
Scott BennerIt's all the same.
But one way you're moving forward and one way you're sitting still waiting for everything to be perfect before you move forward.
There is no perfect and time is going to move with you even if you don't move with time.
So just get up tomorrow and do it, and you're not gonna enjoy it.
It's not fun.
Scott BennerLet me tell you some other things that aren't fun.
Watching Bear in the Big Blue House is not fun, but I have done it 500 times in my life because my six month old liked it when it was on the television in the background when he was eating.
And then he got older, then he was singing the songs.
You know, the songs to go to welcome welcome welcome to the big blue.
I know it.
Scott BennerI could sing.
DakotaI used to watch that show a lot.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
And and you were a kid when you watched it.
I was an adult.
Scott BennerI was not interested in bearing the big blue house.
Here's other things I was not interested in, putting down a manolium floor in a kitchen.
I was not interested in buying a hot water heater for a condo that I knew I wasn't gonna live in much longer.
I wasn't interested in saving money.
I wasn't interested in buying tires.
Scott BennerI'm not interested in cutting the lawn.
I'm not interested in dusting, mopping, doing the dishes.
I'm not interested in most of the fucking things that I do.
But my life is better because I do them, and it gives me a lot of free time where I can do what I want, and I'm not busy loathing myself for not doing those things because it's going to happen one way or the other.
You either deal with it and make the best of it and not in a sad way, like, well, I'll just make the best of it.
Scott BennerLike, literally, make the have a nice life or sit here and wring your hands about it and blame other stuff and watch your life go by.
It's pretty much it.
We don't need to keep talking if you don't want to.
This is good.
But you probably should make a plan if that's what you wanna do.
DakotaYeah.
No.
I wanna start making changes for sure.
Scott BennerYeah.
And they're not changes really.
I I know it's easy to think about it that way.
I'm not a therapist, by the way.
This is very important for people to understand.
Scott BennerAnd I'm sure a therapist wouldn't talk to you like this because they probably have rules and laws and stuff like that.
You already know what to do.
Just get your shit together this afternoon.
Get your blood sugar stable.
Wake up in the morning.
Scott BennerPre bolus your meal.
And then don't get high or low afterwards.
And if you do, do something about it before it becomes a problem.
Right?
Like, you know, did you ever listen to the pro tip series?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerYeah.
Right?
Don't go driving off the road into the weeds across the rumble strip down the hill and then decide to turn back over.
Just like, oh, I think I'm going off the road now, then just turn the wheel back a little bit.
Just small deliberate decisions that stop you from plowing through a tree and brush and everything else.
Scott BennerLike, you are the master of your domain.
Your life will go the way you want it to.
You know, mostly speaking, I can't give you more money or a different house or something like that.
But, like, where within the the ecosystem that you live in right now, it goes good or it doesn't based on the decisions you make every day.
And that's it.
Scott BennerLike, that's life, man.
See, it's not exciting and it's certainly not the way you imagined it.
You know, I don't think you and I are ever gonna be ASAP Rocky rolling up to the Met Gala with Rihanna as much as we'd like to.
I I'm only speaking for myself, I guess, at this moment, but I would love to be, with Rihanna.
And I'd like to have a big ring on my hand that looks like it costs as much as a mountain if I would, you know, if you could buy a mountain.
Scott BennerBut that's not that's not my life.
Like, my life is this.
I make this podcast.
I keep my house clean, take care of my kids.
I do the laundry.
Scott BennerI go away once in a while.
Not really as much as I want to.
And when I don't go away as much as I want to, I'm not mad at everybody.
That's just what it is.
Like, there's a simplicity in that.
Scott BennerI think you would find a lot of common, and you're young still.
Like, you could look up six months from now and be like, I can't believe I was doing all that and it could just be over.
Yeah.
You know?
Mhmm.
Scott BennerWhat are some of the things you imagine are stopping you from doing this?
Is there maybe ways we could talk about mitigating those?
DakotaYeah.
I have trouble accessing food affordably.
Scott BennerOkay.
DakotaSo that becomes an option or an issue where, try to only eat two meals a day.
Okay.
Scott BennerWhat what do you end up eating?
DakotaA large amount of protein, rice, and frozen vegetables most of the time as a meal.
Scott BennerDo you find yourself being hungry, or do you just feel like you're not eating as much as you're supposed to be?
DakotaI find myself being hungry, but I'm so busy throughout the day.
It's easy to ignore it.
Scott BennerOkay.
Alright.
So it's not you wouldn't call that a pressing issue that's stopping you from succeeding?
DakotaNo.
And yes.
Scott BennerTell me why yes.
DakotaSome of the foods I am able to get are very processed and high in carbs and not good for you.
Scott BennerMhmm.
DakotaSo sometimes that's the only option that I have at that moment.
Scott BennerBut, Dakota, are you also not pre bolusing for those foods?
DakotaAnd I don't know how many carbs are in them because they're from a bakery, like a local bakery without a label.
Scott BennerOkay.
Okay.
So then that's something to work on because the rest of it's like, the rest of it's not cool.
And if we were if this was a, you know, a social studies class and we were talking about how to make the world better, then we would dig into this.
But what I would tell you is this is your situation, so you have to figure out how to make the best of that situation.
Scott BennerYeah.
Don't don't tell me, you know, I can't be healthy because I have to shop at a bakery.
Tell me I have to shop at the bakery, so I gotta figure out what to do about that.
Right?
Like, there's there's meaningful steps to take that will help you in every aspect of life, not just in this.
Scott BennerYou know, there are plenty of people who have terrible lives and they are still alive and they're still moving.
It's not optimal and it's certainly not what they want for themselves and it may not be what society would want for them if we were looking in on them and we were like, oh gosh, I don't want that to happen.
But there, those people are anyway figuring out how to get by.
And, you know, in 2026, you have an insulin pump, you have insulin, you do have access to food, like you're eating twice a day, which is probably more than most people around the world eat.
Not to say, like, you know, because there's poor people other places that your thing's not real, but I'm saying that your thing seems manageable.
Scott BennerIt seems doable.
I would suggest to you that I don't know what it is about me that makes me feel this way, the way I grew up or experiences I had or whatever.
And I don't know how to pass this on to you, but I will pass the idea on to you.
That unless you're dead, everything should be negotiable.
You should be able to figure your way through things.
Scott BennerIt's not gonna be what you want.
It won't be what you like.
It might not be comfortable.
It might not be something that other people would be like, wow, look at this.
This is fun to look at.
Scott BennerBut it's still doable for you.
And I imagine if you put a lot of those things in order, yours your situation could rise up to begin with because you're spending a lot of time fighting against reality, and I would imagine feeling bad for yourself while you're doing it.
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerYeah.
And I'm sorry for you.
Like, I'm I'm not without compassion, and I certainly don't want you to live or anybody to live in a situation where they don't feel like they can put their hands on the right amount of food every time or that their situation sucks and, you know, you look online or, you know, out in the world and you see people driving cars you can't afford and living in houses you, you know, you don't think you're ever gonna live in.
But if you ask anybody how to be wealthy one day, they're gonna start anybody who knows how
Scott Bennerto make money is gonna tell you about compound interest.
Right?
They're gonna tell you about the value of I mean, I don't know exactly what the number is, but, like, if you put a thousand dollars away right now, thirty years from now would probably be, like, a million bucks or something like that.
Like, you you know that thing about, like, if you fold over a piece of paper a certain amount of times it goes to the moon?
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Scott BennerThat.
Okay.
So one small decision, right, can exponentially grow.
And I think that that works too with health decisions or mindset or stuff like that.
Like, I think you just start building.
Scott BennerYou just start taking that piece of paper and fold it in half.
And tomorrow, it's two times as thick as it was today, and then do it again.
Now it's four times as thick as it was on the first day.
Just keep making small good decisions.
And when you forget to fold the piece of paper in half one day, don't spend the next week and a half beating yourself up about it and doing that thing that people go, well, next Monday, we'll start folding the paper again.
Scott BennerNext Monday, it's Tuesday.
What what it it's just an excuse.
It's like, oh, I forgot.
I'm supposed to do it every day, and I didn't do it on Monday, so I don't have to do it again till next Monday.
It's it's not that's not true.
Scott BennerJust do it again at the next meal.
Just fold the damn piece of paper in half now.
You you missed a little time.
It's no big deal.
It becomes a big deal when you wait a week because then a week goes by and you think, well, I waited a week.
Scott BennerI can wait a month.
I'll start pre bolsing around.
How about after Christmas?
Ever hear somebody say that?
I'm gonna eat better after Christmas.
Scott BennerThey'll say that in August.
They're like, yeah.
I wanna get through the summer first.
And then I get through the summer.
I don't wanna start right away because Halloween, you you know, and then and then then there's Thanksgiving and then Christmas and New Year's.
Scott BennerI could probably just start after New Year's.
And then six weeks later, it's Valentine's Day.
And then it's Easter.
I I I'm gonna have candy on Easter.
I have candy on Valentine's Day.
Scott BennerWell, you know what?
You know, we'll get going in the spring.
Spring will be a good time.
Oh, I gotta take my mom out for Mother's Day.
You know, I'll probably just oh, yeah.
Scott BennerIt's summertime picnics.
Woo.
And then the next thing you know, it's like, well, maybe in the fall.
And you're doing that with your diabetes.
A lot of people are.
Scott BennerAnd you're either gonna do it or you're not.
I had an experience that I I sort of don't wanna talk about in great detail, but I was around a group of people with diabetes recently.
A lot of there was a lot of people there, and we spent a lot of time together.
And a couple of them had issues.
One with a high blood sugar, one with a low blood sugar.
Scott BennerAnd then I watched the person with the high blood sugar not know what to do about it even though they had had diabetes for, you know, more than a handful of years.
I watched the person with a low blood sugar panic about a number I wouldn't have panicked about, over treat it, then have to bolus later for it.
And then I looked around at the rest of the people in the in the area, I thought, I wonder how many of these other people are having issues that I'm just not aware of right now.
Is it some of them?
Is it all of them?
Scott BennerI wonder how many of them, if I took their graph right now, are are riding this, like, super flat line.
And how much of this is just personality?
Right?
Because in the end, if you if you took all of their diabetes care and gave it over to, you know, a third party that would make the good decision, the right decision at the right time, they would all probably be having better outcomes.
And these people seem, I know that some of these people, they're intelligent, like, they're bright people, they want well for themselves, like, why did they not do that right then and there?
Scott BennerAnd I don't know.
Like, I stood there and I I tried to decide, what leads one person in one direction and one person in another direction?
I have no idea.
All I can tell you for sure is you're paying attention to it.
You've now done 90% of the work because you're interested.
Scott BennerYou know what I mean?
Like, you wouldn't be here if you weren't interested.
DakotaRight.
Scott BennerYou agree?
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerOkay.
So if I ask you what's in the way, it would be beneficial if you didn't
Dakotasay Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
If you instead of telling me that you don't have access to good food, which sounds like something you heard on CNN, you would instead say, I don't make good decisions around the food I'm eating.
And, like and sometimes it's processed, but I don't pre bolus it.
And then I blame the food.
And then I blame my situation because I had to take the food and blah blah.
Scott BennerIt's just you, man.
It's you.
Across the spectrum of your financial situation, we are all in a world of our making once we're in that world.
Now, we didn't make the world that we got put into.
You didn't give yourself diabetes, but here you are and there is no door.
Scott BennerSo you're living in this world now.
Everything that comes after that is you.
You're born broke.
You didn't want that.
It's not your fault.
Scott BennerI understand.
But here you are.
You're born with a bunch of money.
You end up being a asshole.
Same situation.
Scott BennerYou're making your own decisions.
And, you know, it's easy to look around and say, I wish things were like this or it's not fair, and you're not wrong.
I'm not gonna tell you you're wrong, that it's not fair that you have type one and other people don't.
It's could talk about it in the other direction, man.
It's insanely unfair.
Scott BennerAnd, I could cry about it with you right now if you wanted to too, and I would be I would be being a 100% honest with my feelings.
But that is just not the situation you're in, man.
You know what I mean?
You're that blonde guy.
You're up in space with that rock.
Scott BennerJust did you see the movie?
That project No.
That project.
Okay.
Well, you you you well, you opened your eyes and now you're in a tin can and you're floating through space.
Scott BennerWhat are you gonna do next?
You sit there and bitch about it or you're try to figure it out?
I mean, that's pretty much it.
Right.
You know?
Scott BennerSo I don't know, man.
What do you think?
Is it doable?
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerHow?
Todd, put it together for me.
DakotaJust making the right decisions repeatedly.
Yeah.
Well, what does that
Scott Bennermean though, day to day?
Like, put it into put it into context.
DakotaPrebolising.
Scott BennerMhmm.
DakotaTaking care of the lows before they get too low.
Mhmm.
Scott BennerStopping a high blood sugar before it happens.
It does get
Dakotatoo high, maybe lowering my high alarm.
Scott BennerYeah.
Right.
Right.
If it does get high, don't stare at it for hours before you do something.
DakotaYep.
Pretty much.
Change change out my sight before I go to bed instead of waiting till the morning when I know the absorption is an issue.
Scott BennerThat's a great example of the bigger idea, which it's once you start going through these things, you're gonna see they're all the same thing.
It's all act first.
Right?
It's all like if you listen to that pro tip series, you heard me say at some point I used to do this when I was speaking in public.
Used to say this a lot.
Scott BennerI used to say, have you ever been in a fight?
And somebody would raise their hand.
And I'd say, okay.
Do you wanna get hit first?
Do you wanna hit them first?
Scott BennerAnd everybody who's been in the fight said, well, I would wanna hit first.
Like, yeah.
And you know why?
It's because then you dictate the pace of what happens next.
You're in charge.
Scott BennerYou made a decision and now everything follows your decision.
When you get hit, now you're following the decision that that person made your you're gonna be on defense the entire time.
Put yourself on offense.
Just say to yourself, like, I'm gonna act.
My pod's gonna expire.
Scott BennerMy set's gonna go bad at seven in the morning, but I could probably I'll probably wake up at seven.
And even if I don't like, even if it's, like, nine, it's okay.
Will only be without insulin for a couple hours.
So, like, it'll be like, don't do all that.
Just change the damn thing before you go to bed.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
And, you know, because change your pod before you go to bed is the same as your blood sugar 70.
I could have just had some sugar right there.
Mhmm.
It's just deciding to do the thing that needs to be done at the right time instead of being put in a position where you're now forced to do a bunch of things at the wrong time, which ironically puts you in a much worse situation than you I wanna make sure I say this right.
Scott BennerYou said earlier, I don't wanna be told what to do.
So I'm not going to change my let me let me speak it out for you.
I'm not gonna be told I don't wanna be told what to do.
I don't wanna have to change this pump site before I go to bed.
So that's me being told what to do by diabetes.
Scott BennerSo I won't do it.
And instead, I'm gonna wake up in the morning with a high blood sugar.
I'm gonna be I'm not gonna feel well.
I'm gonna have to rush around.
But now think about that.
Scott BennerNow you're you have a high blood sugar.
Now you have to take care of the high blood sugar.
Now you have to change the pump, and you're not gonna have as easy of the time of changing the pump as you would have before.
You're now being told what to do by the problem.
Yep.
Scott BennerRight?
So there's diabetes and then the problem that comes later.
You feel like if I don't listen to diabetes, then I'll just deal with it.
But what I'm telling you is you're not listening to diabetes, so later you're just gonna have to listen to the problem.
The only control is acting before either of those things get a chance to hold power over you.
Scott BennerThat makes sense?
DakotaYes.
You can't hear me shaking my head.
Scott BennerOh, okay.
DakotaBut yeah.
I'm nodding.
Yes.
Thank God.
Scott BennerCan't hear you shaking your head, Dakota.
Can you imagine?
DakotaI was
Scott Bennerlike, what is that?
You'd like, those are the rocks in my head.
They're banging around.
You're also a very bright person.
You're a thoughtful, nice guy.
Scott BennerI've known you for a while now.
Do you know that about yourself?
DakotaYeah.
You're not the only person who said that.
Scott BennerYeah.
You're a lovely person.
So one should be lovely to yourself for a while.
DakotaI'm always about making other people happy before myself.
Scott BennerWell, Dakota, stop doing that.
DakotaI know.
And I feel like if I had, like, someone behind me, like, telling me to do these things, hey.
Change your pump.
You know?
Mhmm.
DakotaGet a glucose tablet.
I would do that for I do I would do that for
Scott Bennerfor them.
Just wouldn't do it for yourself.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
Welcome to being human.
Now here's the rest of it.
Stop doing that.
DakotaI know.
Scott BennerYeah.
I I mean, there's no magic.
Like, I know people are used to listening to podcasts where they bring on these experts.
I'm making quotes with my fingers.
They give you the plan.
Scott BennerYou need a twenty one day plan to a new you, Dakota.
I mean, would that be better?
Do you wanna do you wanna buddy system?
You wanna get involved there?
Just shut up and fucking do it.
Scott BennerOkay?
Like, because the alternative is don't do it, live miserably, die.
How about do it, live happily, die?
It's a lot better.
You you know what I mean?
Scott BennerAnd and in the end, this is how it's gonna I mean, we're not and also, by the way, at your age, with the way things are going, you know, I I hate to say it like this, but a 100 be could become the new 80 in your lifetime.
You wanna be miserable for the next seventy years?
DakotaOh, no.
I don't no.
An extra an extra 20?
Scott BennerOh.
I noticed, like, 20 more.
DakotaI didn't sign up for that.
Scott BennerI can't even get through my twenties.
Now you're talking about twenty more years.
But you can.
Like, you are you are a person who is set up perfectly to be okay.
You're thoughtful.
Scott BennerYou're bright.
You're motivated.
But you you just you grew up in a time where it's just, God, I don't wanna sound like this because I don't I don't know if I mean this completely yet, but and we are just talking it out, but I don't think enough bad shit happened to you.
Like, I think that you have an expectation for life that's reasonable if nothing goes wrong, but not and by the way, you would have found a different way to be disappointed because of the way your your generation grew up.
Like like, dude alright.
Scott BennerYou ready?
DakotaYes.
Lay it out.
Scott BennerI was born, and in short order, the woman who gave birth to me gave me away to the state of Pennsylvania.
And then someone adopted me.
And then those people thirteen years later, after fighting for most of my, you know, my recollection got divorced.
I was broke the whole time I've been alive.
Okay?
Scott BennerThere is no money at all.
So my dad's yelling, smoking cigarettes, my mom's scared, doesn't wanna stick up for us.
My dad kicked the shit out of me every once in a while when he got frustrated, didn't seem like he liked the kid who, like, you know, had his own thoughts, leaves on my third on my thirteenth birthday.
Like, I'm telling you, we had dinner for my birthday and he left.
That was a lot, man.
Scott BennerThat felt like that was my fault.
Later, my mom told me, well, she didn't tell me.
She was telling a friend on the phone and I overheard her that my dad said he left because of me.
Now my dad had been cheating on my mom for twenty years and was terrible person to her, but found a way to blame me when he got to open his mouth about it.
Wasn't his fault that he they weren't married anymore.
Scott BennerIt was my fault.
So then I had to get through that.
And then I graduated from high school and I went to my high school graduation.
I came home.
My mom gave me a piece of cake, said good job, and I woke up at 05:00 in the morning and went to my full time job in a sheet metal shop that I had already been working for, like, the last three years in high school.
Scott BennerThat day, as a reward for becoming a full time employee, my pay went from $4.50 an hour to $4.75 an hour.
I eventually moved it up to 5 an hour to go to.
I didn't have a car or money, so, my uncle gave me a car that didn't run.
I got it running even though I didn't have a father or any idea how to get it running.
And then I had to get a 3,000 a year insurance policy to drive the free car, but I made $4.75 an hour.
Scott BennerSo the $3,000 was a large chunk of the money that I made every year just so I could go to work.
So you would say, well, why would you do that?
And what I would say was, I wanted to find out what was on the other side of this experience.
I was never gonna get to what was on the other side of it if I didn't figure that out.
I've never figured this out with another person before, but $4.75 an hour times eight times 20 Before taxes, I made $760 a month.
Scott BennerAnd I probably didn't pay much in taxes, so let's just call it $700.
So $7.14 $21.28.
I worked four and a half months to pay my car insurance so that I could go to work.
So that I could then have the money left over from the other, let's call it eleven months at $700.
So I worked all year for $7,700 in my pocket, and I did that for years.
Scott BennerEventually, I got a raise to $5.50 an hour.
I don't wanna Mhmm.
Tell you tell you differently.
And then one day, a friend of mine said, hey, I got this job collecting credit card debts, and it pays like I forget it was like $12 an hour.
Would you you she said to me, you talk good.
Scott BennerWould you I was like, yes.
Done.
And I quit my job, and I took all my cuts and burns and scars and bruises from working at that place.
And I put on a tie, and I went into an office, and I sat at a computer.
And for eight hours a day, I shook the life out of people who couldn't afford it to get their payments, and I hated it.
Scott BennerIt made me feel terrible.
So as soon as I did that, you know what I did?
As soon as I realized how bad it made me feel, you probably think, oh, you quit or you got another job.
Right?
No.
Scott BennerI didn't do that because I needed the money.
I kept working.
And then I went there every day and felt horrible.
And they paid me extra money, and I used that extra money and that experience to parlay that into a slightly better job where I went to a credit union to do collections for them, but it was at least it was friendly collections.
It was a credit union.
Scott BennerSo it was sort of like, hey, Dakota.
It's Scott.
Did you forget to pay your car payment?
And you'd go, I did.
Oh, I'm an idiot.
Scott BennerAnd then you'd transfer it over out of your account.
I go, thank you.
DakotaYou're telling me that's the status the credit union gets, and I've been ignoring them?
Yeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
The credit union was much like that.
Right?
And then one day, the graphic designer of the credit union quit.
And I heard somebody talking about that they were in trouble.
Scott BennerAnd I walked into the human resources department and said, hey, I'm really good with computers.
I can do that job.
I was not a graphic designer, and I had no idea what I was talking about.
And they sat me down at a computer, and I I used Adobe I forgot what it was.
Photoshop and something else.
DakotaIllustrated.
Scott BennerI illustrate I designed something for them, and I said, I need I said, this computer sucks.
I need a slightly better computer.
This piece of software, that piece of software, and if you send me to a weekend training course for that software, I can do this job for you.
And she said, why would I do that?
And I said, I will do it for far less money than somebody else will.
Scott BennerAnd she went, okay.
And then she gave me the job and then I figured out how to make the visual needs for a credit union, a pretty big credit union.
And then I did that for years and I was still not making for I think at that point, was making $25,000 a year maybe at that credit union.
And my wife was building her at that point, then we got married.
My wife was building up her thing.
Scott BennerEventually, I became a stay at home dad.
I didn't know the first thing about raising a kid.
I figured all that out too.
Those kids are in my house somewhere right now.
They've never done meth and they're employed.
Scott BennerOkay?
And then I moved on and on and on.
I didn't know how to save money.
I taught myself how to save money.
I didn't know how to eat well.
Scott BennerI taught myself how to eat well.
My life sucks, if I don't do something about it.
But instead, I just did.
And it doesn't happen as fast as you want it to, but it's 100% not gonna happen if you don't fucking do something.
You just gotta get going.
Scott BennerYep.
You know?
Just put yourself out there.
Fail.
Don't fail.
Scott BennerHave some wins.
You're never gonna even see the wins, man.
You don't see them.
You see the wins in hindsight.
The failures hit you every day in the face.
Scott BennerThe wins you see in hindsight.
So that's gonna be a thing you're gonna have to say to yourself is I'm gonna put my head down and keep going until I look up and I'm on the other side of this cloud.
And I have no expectations for how long that's gonna take or what it's gonna feel like while I'm doing it.
I'm just going to do it every day over and over again until I pop out.
And then, dude, you're gonna pop out so much sooner than you think.
Scott BennerYou know what I mean?
And then your life's gonna be completely different, and then you're probably gonna name a baby after me, and then that kid's gonna have ADHD.
And, you know, it's okay.
And then you'll figure that out with him or her.
Whatever happens, you'll just keep going and then you'll die at the end.
Scott BennerAnd right before you die, if you're lucky, you won't get hit by a car.
You'll have a couple minutes to think about it and you'll think, man, I started off in a hole and then I got diabetes and I really thought I was shot then.
And then I talked to some guy on a podcast and I started doing the right thing and like, look at me now.
I got I raised a family and I have a home and, you know, I put some money aside and I've been on a few vacations and I've got some great memories and then you're gonna shut your eyes.
That's gonna be the end of it.
Scott BennerSo if that's the truth, if that's how it ends no matter what, might as well do a good job while you're here because what the hell?
You you know what mean?
Like, what's the alternative to that?
DakotaNot trying and having the exact opposite outcome.
Scott BennerI'd rather try and fail than not try and fail.
DakotaRight.
Scott BennerYou know?
Because at least you tried and you can I'll tell you what, you build a pretty good foundation of confidence on trying, you know?
I I got out there, I swung my hands, I kicked my ass, but okay, here I am still.
And I got up and I did it again the next day.
You're gonna get knocked I mean, I don't wanna be trite, man, but you're gonna get knocked down a lot more than you're gonna win.
Scott BennerYou just gotta keep going.
It's not a movie.
Like, this is not a movie.
This is what this is.
And it can be great.
Scott BennerAnd and there's gonna be moments of just pure joy.
And there's gonna be moments where you're gonna really like look at yourself and think, man, look what I've accomplished.
And then you're gonna realize that the t shirt slogan really is true and it's not the destination, it's the journey.
And then you'll be okay.
That's it.
Scott BennerCome to my funeral, Dakota.
Would you please?
DakotaYes.
Send me an invite.
Scott BennerThank you.
Well, yeah, I'll get I'll get I'm gonna need a few of you to show up to tell the rest
Dakotaof these nunnicks that I was, valuable to you.
Scott BennerI really don't know another way to put it.
Like, life and diabetes is it's all the same thing.
Everything's the same thing.
You know how I tell you, like, it's timing and amount?
That's what diabetes is.
Scott BennerThey're using the right amount of insulin at the right time and when you really if you really distill it down, that's the truth.
Good settings, making decisions about where to put your insulin in, it's timing and amount.
Life is effort.
That's it.
Just try and have no expectations for what success looks like, and you're gonna be a happy person.
Scott BennerAnd find some people and love them and let them love you back.
There.
What else do we need to do?
This was awesome.
I'm fantastic.
DakotaThank you.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Scott BennerYou have a good sense of humor.
You're already halfway there.
DakotaNo.
I, yeah.
No.
I do.
But I no.
DakotaI I feel like everything you said, I deep down, I already know that that's what I should be doing.
Scott BennerYou should just wake up every morning and think, let's can go.
Yeah.
And then just go out there and whatever that ends up being is a win.
DakotaThat's what it is.
Scott BennerThat's what it is.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now you're good.
That's what it is.
Scott BennerThen you just get up the next day and you could do it again and do it again and do it again.
And one day, won't look like that anymore.
You won't even know how to happen.
Just make good decisions, man.
Like, when some when you get an opportunity, think about it for a second and do what your gut tells you and then just keep going.
Scott BennerWhat do you where's where's the job now?
Where do you where are you working at?
Same place as last time?
DakotaYeah.
But I'm the assistant store manager now.
Scott BennerOh, so prior to the last time I spoke to you, you were not the assistant store manager.
Now you are.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerRight.
And one day, you'll probably manage the store.
DakotaI don't want to know.
Oh, no.
You do
Scott Bennerwant you don't listen to me.
Yes.
You do.
You want it.
Bring it on is the is what we say.
DakotaOkay.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Scott BennerYou want it.
You want responsibility.
You want something to tax you.
You wanna get out there and have to swing your hands because then you're gonna learn something else and you're gonna apply it sometimes.
You might just wake up one day and some or your friend might go to you.
Scott BennerI know you hate working at the store, but you talk good.
You wanna come collect debts with me?
And I went, get me out of here.
Let's go.
Right?
Scott BennerBecause if I don't have my head up for that and I'm not paying attention, now I'm a 54 year old guy working in a sheet metal shop.
But you wonder the funny thing about that is that sheet metal shop went under twenty years ago.
So I would have been a 34 year old guy with nowhere to work and skills that were probably outdated.
And I don't know what I would have done.
Think of this as like canoeing down a river and every time, you know, you come up to a bunch of, forks in the in the river, you that gives you a minute to think about it and you go, okay.
Scott BennerI'm gonna try this.
And if it that was the wrong thing, just keep the boat upright till you get to the next one and try again.
You just got I can I mean, I can metaphor you to death here if you want?
Just don't give up.
Keep going.
Scott BennerListen.
I I think I probably did it when I was young too.
Okay?
But I might not have had as much of an opportunity because I grew up so poorly and so broke, but you gotta stop blaming other Like, just it doesn't matter whose fault it is and you might be right, but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't change your situation.
Scott BennerIf I push you out of a plane and I tell you, don't worry, the parachute works, I checked it and you pull the cord and it doesn't open.
Well, you're still falling out of the goddamn plane.
It doesn't matter if I didn't do it right or not.
Like, this is what's happening.
You know what I mean?
Scott BennerLike, you are now in a new situation and that situation is not your fault.
It is not of your making and it doesn't matter because it's still happening to you.
So now what do you do next?
The plane thing's probably a bad example because there's not much to do.
You just you can flap your I'll tell you what, I'd flap my goddamn hands.
Scott BennerI really would.
You would watch me falling out of a plane without a a parachute and go, that's a stubborn son of a bitch up there.
He's trying to fly.
That might be your metaphor, Flap your arms.
You know what I mean?
Scott BennerLike, after it.
You've got I don't know.
So okay.
What does this look like real life?
You gotta do what?
Scott BennerI mean, I'd might make a list of I Bijou.
DakotaLet me get my pen and paper.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
I I think maybe we should write it down.
Also, for people listening, life's not that hard.
Like, life's hard, but they're doing the things.
Scott BennerNot that just do the thing.
Yep.
Just do it.
DakotaThat's what it comes down to.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
Just do it.
It doesn't matter what your situation is.
We all go to a bunch of movies, and we watch people in terrible situations.
Scott BennerWe come and we go, oh, they made the best of it.
It was so lovely.
Like, he was he was locked in that camp for thirty years, but he never gave up hope.
I and then you get in your own situation that's not nearly that dire and you give up immediately.
Unbelievable.
Scott BennerEverybody everybody
Dakotashould have had my dad kicked their under a coffee table a couple of times.
Scott BennerIt might have, like, straight.
DakotaMight have been like, I gotta keep I gotta get the fuck out of here.
Scott BennerMaybe life's not bad enough that you need to run away from it a little bit.
I don't know.
We got our paper?
DakotaYep.
Scott BennerAlright.
You want me to rattle off a few and then we'll fill in the blanks?
DakotaI started to but just do the thing.
Scott BennerYeah.
Do the thing.
That's but yeah.
Timing and amount.
Get going.
Scott BennerBy the way, my wife is coming back from a business trip.
She somehow ended up in Switzerland during the Hantavirus.
Oh, woah.
And she texted, I just landed.
My son sent a GIF of a guy spraying just like a spray in the room with yeah.
Scott BennerWith his with his his shirt over You know you know the GIF?
DakotaI feel like I do.
I don't know exactly, but I can see it.
Scott BennerIt's from the I never watched the show.
It's a bunch of super smart people.
Yeah.
It's Sheldon.
DakotaYeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Big Bang three.
Scott BennerYeah.
Is that what you're picturing?
DakotaI think so.
Yeah.
Scott BennerOkay.
Now so okay.
Let me say this to you, Dakota.
This is the fucking problem with your generation.
I should not have been able to say there's a guy spraying an aerosol can and you knew what it was.
Scott BennerYou motherfuckers are not spending enough time on other stuff.
How did you know that?
Get to work.
DakotaIt's funny.
No.
I was showing my dad.
I was he was acting like this guy and I was I showed him this this clip, this meme and he's like, he got offended.
I like, I wasn't acting like that.
DakotaAnd I was like, no.
It's just funny because it reminded me of this video.
And that's, yeah, that's literally how my generation just
Scott BennerAll that time you spent with your dad on that, could you just pre bowl us with that time, please?
Yeah.
Okay.
Stop with the TikTok or whatever.
Pre bowl us our meals, count the carbs, understand the impact of the fat and protein.
Scott BennerYou know, you can use the estimator on my website to help you for a while until you get it up, till you get the idea together.
DakotaYeah.
I don't know much about fat and protein.
Yeah.
Well, heard on the podcast and it's hard to
Scott BennerThere's fat and protein in food and it, impacts your insulin needs.
Yeah.
So, I mean, do you drink coffee?
DakotaNo.
But I drink energy drinks.
Scott BennerYeah.
Okay.
Well, there's a lot of caffeine and energy drinks that make your blood sugar go up, and those energy drinks have sugar in them as well.
Right?
DakotaI I don't drink sugar drinks.
Scott BennerOkay.
Good.
So you're drinking but you're still drinking something with, like, eighty eight milligrams of caffeine in it or something like that.
Right?
DakotaYeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's two two hundred milligrams.
Scott BennerAnd does your Jesus.
And does your blood sugar go up when you use that?
DakotaSo if I am, like, not if it's, like, first thing in the morning and I haven't hydrated first, yes.
Scott BennerDo you bolus for it?
DakotaNo.
Because it's zero and I know, like, that's wrong.
Zero carbs, obviously, it's gonna have an impact on my blood sugar because of
Scott BennerThe caffeine?
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerI don't know.
Know what happens and it happens every day, but you don't bolus for
Dakotait.
It doesn't happen all the time.
Scott BennerAnd then you wanted to come on here and tell everybody that I let let you down.
Is that right?
DakotaYeah.
Mhmm.
I let screwed me over.
You fucked up my life.
No.
DakotaI did not.
Scott BennerListen.
You gotta do the things.
Right?
So so maybe it impacts you, maybe it doesn't.
Figure that out and then take care of that.
Scott BennerBut in the end, like, it's good for you.
It's gonna be good settings and timely decisions.
DakotaYeah.
You know what
Scott BennerI mean?
Just doing doing those things at the right time.
And if you tell me I can't because I have ADHD, I'm gonna tell you that you're talking about it.
So use the time you're talking about it to put alarms in your phone to remind you to do things.
That's it.
Scott BennerJust make an alarm that says that pops up and tells you pre bowl is for breakfast.
And then when it goes off, do it.
And if you don't want to and I'm being sincere, you're an you're an adult.
Okay?
If you don't want to, that's fine, But never fucking complain about it again because it's a decision you made.
Scott BennerDon't complain about your decisions.
Go live in it.
You wanna do heroin?
Do heroin.
Don't tell me you're sorry about it.
Scott BennerJust shoot it in your arm and sit there and die.
Have the courage of your convictions.
Do you know I mean?
Because you either don't want it to be that way or you want it to be that way.
And so make your decision to stand behind it.
Scott BennerYep.
That makes sense?
DakotaYep.
If I don't want it to be that way, do something about it.
Scott BennerYeah.
Exactly.
If that's your lot in life, if that's how you feel, I mean, just have the nerve to embrace it.
You know what I mean?
I have an example, but I don't think I can say it out loud here because I think people won't like me.
Scott BennerBut just go be the thing you're gonna be then and be happy being that thing.
Live a shorter life happily.
Don't beat yourself up over and over and over again.
Like, just say, okay.
I guess I'm not a person who's gonna live a long healthy life.
Scott BennerAt least I'm gonna live a short happy one.
Like, at least do that.
You know?
I mean, if you were my kid, that's what I'd say to you.
The people listening, I wouldn't say that to you.
Scott BennerWhat I would say to you people is please do the right thing and take good care of yourself.
But, like, you know, if if that's gonna be your situation, do it.
And if you if that turns out to be your situation and you think I don't want this, then go see therapist and have them help you figure out why it is you're doing that.
Because, you know, I don't want you to hurt yourself and I don't want you to have a poor outcome that is against your desire for yourself that you're battling with something else.
So I don't I mean, we're only talking for a little bit here.
Scott BennerI I can't possibly know all the intricacies of your life.
You you know what I mean?
Like so but in the end, like, whatever those intricacies are, the only way to get around them is through.
You what know I mean?
You just gotta put your head down and knock them over.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerBe persistent.
What else?
DakotaYou have the juiceboxstocks.com.
Does that have therapists on there or just endocrinologists?
Scott BennerAt the moment, it doesn't have therapists.
Where are you at?
What state are you in?
DakotaI'm in Iowa, and I am always searching around for, like, a good therapist, which I've had one in the past, but I need someone who focuses and knows more about diabetes.
Scott BennerYou could try writing a note to Erica, who's on the podcast.
She I don't think she can cover Iowa, but you could ask her if she knows where you could find somebody who would be good.
I bet you she could maybe help you.
DakotaThat would be yeah.
Scott BennerIt's a good place to Right?
Yes.
Just put yourself out there, see what you can figure out.
If you just said to her, hey.
If you said, hey.
Scott BennerMy name's Dakota.
I've been on these episodes of the podcast, and I really feel like I need a therapist for these reasons.
I know you can't do it, but is there someone you could suggest or even a network that you could point me to that would help me find somebody?
DakotaYep.
Scott BennerAnd that would be some but that's gonna be you doing something.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
And by the way, even just now when you thought about doing it, didn't you feel better?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerYeah.
You think, oh, I could do that.
I could send Erica a note and ask her to help me, and she probably would help me, and maybe I'd end up in a better it's already your forward thinking differently than before.
And Dakota, I'm not like somebody who's like, I'm not a boo hoo per I'm not I'm not like, oh gosh, everybody just feels sorry for themselves and they don't try.
This is a terrible situation you're in.
Scott BennerI'm not telling you otherwise.
I don't think it's right.
I don't think it's fair.
If you put me in charge, I wouldn't certainly let you stay like this for five seconds, but none of that changes the reality of it.
And if you're waiting for somebody else to change the reality of your situation, you will wait indefinitely and then die.
Scott BennerIt is not no one is gonna step in and save you.
You know?
There's people who can help you, but they aren't gonna come find you.
Like, you know, you can't just sit there going, I'm a good person.
When's this gonna change for me?
Scott BennerBecause answer is gonna be never if you're just sitting there trying to explain if you're trying to explain a meme to your dad.
It's gonna be a long day.
How come I've never seen this show?
People love it.
DakotaYeah.
It's good.
And then there's like a young Sheldon, which is like
Scott BennerI saw a couple.
DakotaSpin off of his childhood.
I saw a couple of those and I was like, okay.
That's enough.
I got it.
And then there's a spin off of that show
Scott Bennertoo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With a brother gets married to some girl or something.
Yeah.
Scott BennerI I'm not gonna watch that either.
No.
DakotaIt's too far down the rabbit hole.
Scott BennerYou know why?
I'm busy fighting life off.
That's why.
It's over here trying to kill me every day and I'm I got my hands up.
And by the way, it's funny.
Scott BennerI my life's not nearly as dire as it was at one point, but I still come from that perspective.
And I can even tell you that nowadays, that's like that's detrimental to me.
So I work against that.
Like, I build up a defense that's so thick, it's not necessary for the new world I live in.
Instead of just being a prick, I think, okay.
Scott BennerWell, let me fix this.
Gives you something to do.
I mean, you know what I mean?
Like, pick up the rock, take it to the ant hill, put it down, go get another one.
What are you busy?
Scott BennerYou know?
And seriously, look at you.
You got a phone call?
People.
Is that my house or yours?
Scott BennerHold
Dakotaon.
No.
Nothing here.
Scott BennerOh, it's here.
Sons of bitches.
It's probably just Walgreens telling us that something's not available.
That's pretty much the extent of the phone calls
Dakotawe get.
Scott BennerAlso, US med calls here.
Usmed.com/juicebox if you like to learn more.
Do you feel okay?
DakotaI feel fine.
Yeah.
I like yeah.
Scott BennerAlright.
Hey.
High high level.
How's the Medtronic seven eighty g?
DakotaNot working out too well for me.
Can you believe that?
So
Scott Bennerto to go over it, Tandem, Omnipod, Medtronic, none of them work for you?
DakotaI didn't do Tandem.
Omnipod, Eyelet, Medtronic.
Scott BennerExcuse me.
Omnipod, Islet, Medtronic.
All don't work.
What do you think you've learned during this one hour about that statement?
DakotaI'm the common denominator.
Scott BennerYeah.
Yeah.
You're the only yeah.
You it's you.
Yeah.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerSo, you know, apologize to the other write them a note.
DakotaThat's good.
Yep.
Scott BennerSo sorry.
I shouldn't have left you.
I mean, seriously, how many times have you seen somebody break up with somebody and then realize they're miserable and then realize I was the problem in the relationship?
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerYeah.
That's all.
Alright.
Well, I've basically fixed everything for you in an hour.
DakotaYeah.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Scott BennerAll you have to do now is is the incredibly difficult work of doing that.
Yep.
And by the way, man, after you do it for a while, it's not hard.
You just have to give yourself over to it.
My best example to you is that at some point after I was collecting credit card debts and then became a credit union graphic designer, I, by mistake, got my wife pregnant.
Scott BennerThe baby was gonna come out no matter what in nine months.
So we started looking at daycare, and I thought, I don't wanna put my baby in daycare.
So I went to my wife and I said, you should probably quit your job and stay home with the baby.
And she laughed directly in my face because she had, like, a career and, a path.
And I was, you know, I was making, you know, handouts for a credit union.
Scott BennerAnd she said, well, you I think you'd be really good with kids and I agree with you.
I don't wanna put the baby in daycare either.
Do you think you could stay home with them?
And I thought about it for a while and it was not an easy decision.
It sounds easy like, oh, I don't work anymore, but you give up a lot of yourself when you do when you give up your work and when you give up what you feel like is dreams and and ideas of what you were gonna do and everything.
Scott BennerSo at first, I tried to play it down the middle.
Like, I I tried to be in two places at once.
Like, oh, I'm still gonna do this and I still have my eye on doing that and then I'll take care of this kid.
And about a year into it, I was like, this is unfair.
Like, I'm not putting as much effort into him as he would get if my wife was here.
Scott BennerShe would definitely be doing a better job than I am.
I need to do a better job.
I need to make raising him a thing that I get, like, real joy from.
Like, of the idea that I was gonna chase something else down and be happy when I got to that, why don't I just be happy here with him in this thing that we're doing together?
And I gave myself over to being a stay at home parent.
Scott BennerAnd I just I just anything else I thought I was gonna do with my life, thought I'll do it later.
And if I don't, I'll be happy that he's healthy and feels loved and that we spent this time together.
I gave away all my other hopes and dreams and found a way not to be upset by that.
And I made him and that task, my I'm like, this is what I have.
I I want to want what I have.
Scott BennerAnd I think that's the thing people struggle with.
I think everybody wants something they don't have and they're angry with the thing they do have.
You could just decide to want the thing you have and then just put your effort and time and skill into that.
And I did that, and he's 26 now.
He's a good person.
Scott BennerHe's out in the world.
He seems pretty healthy.
He's, you know, making good decisions.
I'm happy to watch him live in his life, and I did that to some extent.
Like, I put him in that situation.
Scott BennerThat that's what I did by making you would say, people would say some sort of a con you know, I don't know.
I I gave something away for him to be happy, but I don't see it that way because I feel completely fulfilled by what I did.
Because I decided that that's what I wanted.
You just have to want to do this.
Decide that like a stable blood sugar after a meal is a thing you care about that you want, and then you'll feel good about working towards it.
Scott BennerYou'll feel good about it when it works out.
You'll feel motivated when it doesn't.
You'll try harder the next time, and you'll feel like that ant whose job it is to take the rock and put it on the pile.
You'll feel accomplished.
I wanted to do it.
Scott BennerI did it.
I accomplished it.
It builds up your confidence, and you can move on and put that on something else afterwards.
And just do that over and over and over again till you die, and then that's it.
It's over.
Scott BennerYou did it.
DakotaNot that hard.
Scott BennerNot that hard.
It really isn't that hard.
Life's not really that hard.
Like, things make it difficult, and there could be somebody living right now who's like, I live under a rock, Scott.
Life's pretty hard.
Scott BennerYou're right.
It is.
And I would tell you, I want you out from under that rock.
But while you're there, make as many good decisions as you can because that's pretty much the only pathway out from under the rock.
No one's coming to save you.
Scott BennerThe government's not coming.
Your mom's not coming.
Some magic man in the sky is not coming.
It's you.
You and the rock.
Scott BennerMake good decisions.
Try to get on top of the rock.
Once you're on top of the rock, make better decisions.
See if can get out of the desert.
Get out of the desert, make a couple more good decisions.
Scott BennerTakes you your whole life.
Who cares?
What were you doing anyway?
You're living under a rock.
So I I think we're good.
Scott BennerI think you got this.
DakotaI think so.
Scott BennerAlright.
When are you coming back?
Let's not put a time frame on it.
I don't wanna pressure you.
But Oh.
Scott BennerBut do this now.
Don't wait till Monday.
And then, you know, make yourself a little plan.
Stick to it as best as you can.
Stay flexible with the plan.
Scott BennerIf the plan's not working, change the plan.
If you fail at the plan, do not beat yourself up.
Just go back to the plan.
Keep going.
A day is gonna turn into a week, gonna turn into a month, it's gonna turn into a year.
Scott BennerYou're gonna look back on this and not recognize yourself.
And then all the rest of you out there listening, just apply what I just said to whatever it is you have trouble with and you should probably be okay.
Just tell yourself it's not that hard.
People do it all the time.
I could be one of those people easily.
Scott BennerRight?
Yes.
Alright, Dakota.
I'm sorry.
You didn't get to say how bad the mini med seven eighty g is.
DakotaOh, I was looking forward to roasting it so much.
Scott BennerI got your email and I was like, I know how this is gonna go.
He just doesn't know.
But that's because I got to talk to you before.
So I I have a a little bit of a vibe about you.
DakotaYep.
Scott BennerYeah.
Did you meet a girl yet?
DakotaThere's been a couple.
Scott BennerOh, that's a boy.
Remember last time I gave you that good advice?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerAnd you took it.
Are you happier?
DakotaYes.
Scott BennerYeah.
I'm not telling you I'm not telling everybody that what I told him was go get laid, but I
Dakotathat's that's to get out there and meet some people.
Scott BennerRight?
Makes you feel it makes you feel good out there meeting people, doing stuff.
Nice.
One day, Dakota.
DakotaOne day.
Scott BennerYeah.
Alright, man.
It's good to talk to you again.
Yeah.
You alright with all this?
Scott BennerBecause people are gonna say I ran you over and beat you up and
DakotaNo.
I it it it I need to hear it from someone, you know.
So I'm perfectly fine with it.
Scott BennerLittle tough love.
That's all.
DakotaYeah.
Scott BennerI do like I really care about you.
I see you on the board and we've talked before.
I have a vested interest in in your success now.
Plus, you're my emissary in the world.
If you do well, people are gonna think I'm a genius.
DakotaRight.
And I can tell them it's all because of Scott.
Scott BennerOh, well.
I mean, that would be appreciated if you did that.
Like, how great would it be if there was a podcast for you one day?
Like, he's like, my life used to suck, but now it doesn't anymore.
All I did, listen to Scott.
DakotaListen to Scott.
Scott BennerI said, I'm gonna take that review, show it to my kids, and they're gonna go, I I don't care.
I'm not listening to you.
You're an idiot.
I'm like, okay.
Fair enough.
Outro and Sponsors
Scott BennerAlright.
Give me one second.
Okay?
Hang out with me.
The conversation you just heard was sponsored by Touched by Type One.
Scott BennerCheck them out please at touchedbytype1.org on Instagram and Facebook.
You're gonna love them.
I love them.
They're helping so many people at touchedbytype1.org.
Head now to tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox and check out today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care.
Scott BennerI think you're gonna find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the Tandem Mobi system.
I'd like to thank the Eversense three sixty five for sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every fourteen days, you want the Eversense CGM.
Eversensecgm.com/juicebox.
One year, one cgm.
Okay.
Scott BennerWell, here we are at the end of the episode.
You're still with me?
Thank you.
I really do appreciate that.
What else could you do for me?
Scott BennerWhy don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review?
Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribe in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me or Instagram, TikTok.
Oh, gosh.
Here's one.
Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page.
Scott BennerYou don't wanna miss please, do you not know about the private group?
You have to join the private group.
As of this recording, it has 74,000 members.
They're active talking about diabetes.
Whatever you need to know, there's a conversation happening in there right now.
Scott BennerAnd I'm there all the time.
Tag me.
I'll say hi.
Hey.
What's up, everybody?
Scott BennerIf you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking, like, how does that happen?
What you're hearing is Rob at Wrong Way Recording doing his magic to these files.
So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrongwayrecording.com.
You got a podcast?
You want somebody to edit it?
Scott BennerYou want Rob.