#403 Hiking the FOMO Trail

John has T1d and Wanderlust

John is a teacher, a traveler, a husband and an adult living with type 1 diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Amazon Music - Spotify - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:10
Hello everyone and welcome to Episode 403 of the Juicebox Podcast Today's show is with john. JOHN is a teacher who travels the world teaching children, hiking trails, and just generally living an adventurous life with Type One Diabetes. Hey, don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

This episode is titled hiking the FOMO trail. And it is sponsored by Dexcom Omni pod and touched by type one, you can go to dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to find out more about the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box to get a free no obligation demo of the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump and of course touched by type one.org.

John Palmer 1:27
My name is John Palmer. I'm originally from coastal California outside Santa Cruz. And my brother was diagnosed with diabetes at about 16. And then I was a late bloomer and didn't get it till I was about 31. And at that time I was living and working and teaching abroad. And actually just when I got diagnosed was when my wife and I had decided to take a year off from teaching. We met my wife and I met she's from Idaho, we met in Thailand teaching in Bangkok. And then we moved to Cairo, Egypt together. We were teaching and working there. But then we decided to take a year off to try to hike across the United States. And so it's like day three, I'm back in California, I'm getting ready for this big adventure. We're getting married two weeks before we start this big hike. And then I go to this kind of routine oral glucose tolerance test that I had been kind of enrolled in with Stanford University. And they're like, hey, things are out of whack. You're not good right now. And then all of a sudden, it all just kind of clicked into place. Like oh, yeah, I've had glucosuria for six months. And that's why I'm so tired. And that's why I can't put on weight and it all kind of just suddenly fell into place.

Scott Benner 2:39
Alright, john, you've already said a lot. So let's figure some stuff out. So you thought we'll get married and then go for a hike for a long time? Was that just to test the marriage out? Just to make sure it was right.

John Palmer 2:51
Right. It's one of those weeding out processes again, just make sure she really wants to be married with you. You can be stuck in a tent with somebody for a couple thousand miles. And yeah, you're pretty, pretty sure that you guys are gonna get along.

Scott Benner 3:01
I was gonna say you'd probably either be married forever or divorced in three weeks. Right? So right? Yeah, it's

John Palmer 3:07
a good litmus test. That's for sure.

Scott Benner 3:09
You were enrolled in the study at Stanford? I'm assuming because your brother at that point? Yes, exactly.

John Palmer 3:14
Yeah. So I was in trial net, which I think is one of the larger ones. And so I've been in trial net since I was early teenager. And then every six months or so I'd go to Stanford and they would just Just give me a big ol cup full of sugar water and then just watch my pancreas slowly try to beat it down. And then I went in there that one time and they just came back with this look on their faces. Oh, no, this is that's not the look you want from somebody and they showed me these huge numbers as Oh, man. This is? Yes, I'm part of the team now.

Scott Benner 3:45
Wow, that's amazing. We get trial and that has been on the show before my son's done it. It's a very reputable and and, you know, great way to track people who maybe don't have type one diabetes, but but could one day they they'll test you now for markers, I think there's five markers that indicate whether or not you're more likely to get type one diabetes. So did you know that you had the markers?

John Palmer 4:10
Right? So all of that information just really just flew over my head when I was a kid because you know, I started so young. So I'm sure I have all of that data, you know, when I was 13. But God knows what a 13 year olds going to do with that information. I was worried about, you know, Pokemon, and the girl sitting across me in history class. And so once I was, you know, been in the city for 10 years and and found out that I was type one, then we went back and looked at the data and my wife who you know, very small, so she went and kind of analyze a lot and find out I did have some of the markers. I did have some antibodies, so the writing was sort of on the wall if I was looking for it.

Scott Benner 4:46
Yeah, you just weren't really looking I guess. I mean, at that age what it just makes a lot of sense. Hey, can I get you to mute your phone and take it off? Yes. And take it off the table. Thanks. Yes.

I don't think the people listening care it just My brain jumps and then I have to start over again.

John Palmer 5:04
Yeah, I know exactly 100% that that ding alarm. Yeah. Oh, man, do I have an email that I have to get back to settling?

Scott Benner 5:12
But you know, I don't know you might need that phone for Are you using a glucose monitor?

John Palmer 5:16
No, actually, I am as low tech as you could get Currently, I'm on MDI. And, yeah, just a finger sticks. Just real low tech currently.

Scott Benner 5:26
How old are you now?

John Palmer 5:27
So I'm 32 as of now.

Scott Benner 5:30
So this diabetes thing is really new for you?

John Palmer 5:32
Yeah, yeah. So I'm only a couple years into it. But when when I got to that trial net, and they told me they're like, Hey, you know, your numbers are out of whack. And then suddenly realized, I probably have been suffering from this for a little while. So yeah, I was definitely a late bloomer polegato when I was 31. Maybe 30 is when my pancreas really started on quitting on me. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:56
So do you have feelings about technology? Are you trying to avoid it? Are you thinking of doing it? Like, where are you at?

John Palmer 6:03
No. So when I got diabetes, I was in and started listening to Well, when I found that I was diabetic, I stay in my brother's place, and they spent probably like seven days just reading every hospital, you know, protocol procedures that they would use, because at the time I was without a job, didn't have insurance paying out of pocket wasn't something super doable for like the more advanced technologies, but no, I'm listening to the benefits of technologies, I think that I would be remiss to not give them attempt. So as I've been in Costa Rica, and my new job, I'm new school new insurance stable for the last six months or so a few months ago, I started contacting my endocrinologist, to put me in contact with the people that have pumps, and more specifically, I'm really looking forward to getting a continuous glucose monitor. But the technologies in Costa Rica right now aren't where we would like them to be. And so I guess, this is kind of time sensitive. But we're currently in the kind of COVID crisis. So it's a little more difficult to get the technologies that I would like, but in the future, yes, that next step is continuous glucose monitor for sure.

Scott Benner 7:21
I just wasn't, you know, I don't have a judgement about it. There's plenty of people who manage really well, without anything, it's, you know, it's not a life I'm good at. But, you know, there's plenty of people who told me they are.

John Palmer 7:33
Yeah, I understand that it just is such a trade off, because you're just gonna have to get the numbers that I would like to get, I just have to finger stick more often, I have to have a lower carb diet, you don't have to exercise at certain times in certain places, I just I have to do a little bit more to get the numbers that I want to. Because I'm lower tech, but know that that would definitely be the huge benefit to be able to have a pump and more specifically a CGM.

Scott Benner 7:57
So I want to go back a little bit. And I just feel like I'd be remiss if I didn't ask if you're Mormon. No, no. Okay. Because there have been so many Mormons on the show. And they always are telling a story about going somewhere to teach or to help somebody and I just thought, you know, why don't I just get this out of the way and find out up front? And, and I beginning to think it's the it is the prefer diabetes podcasts for the Mormon religion, but so I'm trying to understand a little bit what draws you to leave the country and go help somewhere else? Like, tell me your whole path around that?

John Palmer 8:34
Yeah. So I think that you're looking at it a little more altruistically than I was, I think that I was just finishing college and I'm like, hey, I want to go. I want to go travel the world. I want to go see stuff I want to go. So I thought, well, I can teach because I was teaching as a substitute teacher in California. Okay, well, I was substitute teaching credential, that's plenty. That's enough to get my foot in the door in a developing country. So I looked at a few different places I wanted to go Asia seemed fun because it just seemed kind of like the opposite of all the things and places that I knew as I grew up, so I was like, Okay, let's go somewhere with a low cost of living. Thailand, Bangkok seemed like a perfect fit. And then once that was there, I kind of saw the limit of how far you can go with you know, a basic teaching credential. So that's when I was able to get my master's my teaching credential abroad. And then with that, I was able to travel to these other different countries to continue teaching at an international schools. Okay, so

Scott Benner 9:31
you're just looking to be somewhere kind of chill and warm and go and still do your job.

John Palmer 9:37
Yeah, just looking for a sense of adventure because you know that the teaching racket in California or in America, it is what it is, but if I could do that in some, you know, exotic locale, then it seems so much more appealing to me.

Scott Benner 9:47
Okay, that's, that's pretty amazing. And you found a person who was willing to do that with you, too.

John Palmer 9:52
Yeah. I always joke that she's my Thai bride because we met in Thailand, but she's, you know, a farm race girl from Idaho. And we met up They're playing Ultimate Frisbee one day and we just hit it off and just started dating. You know, right then

Scott Benner 10:05
where you met in Thailand.

John Palmer 10:07
Yeah, we met in Thailand on an army base throwing frisbees to each other. And, yeah, we just started dating. And one thing led to another, we decided that we wanted to move to our next, you know, teaching location together, which was Cairo, Egypt. And I think we're six months or so into that. And I said, Hey, do you want to hike across America, you want to? Do you want to try to do this 2500 mile hike across the United States? And she's like, Sure, yeah. Sounds great. And then a week later, I was like, hey, do you want to take a year off to try to do that? And she's like, Yeah, sure. And then a couple weeks later is like, hey, do you want to? This is on the Nile River,

on a little boat among my name, like, hey, do you want to marry me? She's like, Sure. So like, okay, these are all lining up. Got my partner for life. Let's go do it. Do you?

Scott Benner 10:47
Would you consider yourself someone who has wanderlust Do you just want to catch

John Palmer 10:52
up, but I'm also I'm also a big homebody like this, this COVID quarantine, I haven't hated it. You know, it's given me lots of time to like, do all the things I want to do give me lots of time and space. But no, I definitely love that. You know, that sense of adventure. Look, you know, collecting passport stamps, I think we're up to 50. Right now, each of she has five more countries than me. And we always travel together. So I don't know how I'm gonna catch up to her. But yes, we do love traveling in new places, seeing new things.

Scott Benner 11:19
That's really interesting. I see, Your Honor. You're like, quite literally, on the Nile. When you decide I've drugged her all over the place. She said yes to everything she married me is probably like a no brainer.

John Palmer 11:31
Right? Yeah, exactly. She said yes. So far, all these crazy ideas. What's one more,

Scott Benner 11:35
so I'll whip out the craziest one now? How crazy? Was it when the diabetes I mean, it sounds like you guys probably just rolled with it. But was it an impact for her when you were diagnosed?

John Palmer 11:47
You know what she I received she's smarter than me. She said maybe six months before we left Egypt. I'm just like, we're watching the movie. And I peed like three times during the movie. And she was a bad man. I and I was attributed because Cairo, Egypt is rather polluted. And to get it's likely, it's a polluted city. And so I was assumed that I was the air quality. It's the poor water. It's, it's this or that. And it's the third time in getting up during the movie. She's like, hey, maybe you have diabetes, kind of half jokingly and I was like, Oh, no, I'm not going to get that till I'm older or something. I had some, you know, stupid throwback liner. Right? And then lo and behold, she was right. The whole time.

Scott Benner 12:21
Did she know about your brother?

John Palmer 12:23
Yes. So she was aware of my brother and the whole thing.

Scott Benner 12:27
It's interesting. I'd love to know if she was doing her diligence behind the scenes. Like I like this guy. I'm going all over the place with him. He's gonna ask me to marry him at some point. I wonder what this diabetes is? Because it sounds Yes, it sounds like she knew about it. You know?

John Palmer 12:39
Yes. 100% I'm, she's great at googling things behind our back or you know, my back. And so I'm sure that she was googling ik, like, losing way peeing all the time. Those are symptoms, what could be the and of course, you know, you're going to come across type one diabetes as one of those So, and she knew that my brother was so yeah, she put one on one together, far more quickly than I was willing to accept.

Scott Benner 13:02
I would never look at Kelly's Google history because I'm afraid it would say stuff. Like why is this guy an idiot? And how do you how do I sneak away in the middle of the night or you know, smother a person with a pillow? Like you don't mean like that kind of stuff? Yeah, well, if you know where longer you'll be, you'll be more concerned.

John Palmer 13:17
She had plenty of opportunities on trail to smother me or pushing you into a black bear or something.

Scott Benner 13:22
push me into a black bear. I don't know why I found that so amusing.

Unknown Speaker 13:30
Seems like

John Palmer 13:32
the most dangerous was she hikes Fast Money so she's always you know, 20 feet in front of me. So she pisses off all the rattlesnakes and whatnot. They're sleeping. She walks by kisses him off, and then I come stumbling through and there's these rattlesnakes, she's ready to start nipping at you, but those are the times I'm like, Katie,

Unknown Speaker 13:48
do you love me?

Scott Benner 13:50
I'm interested. Do you? Have you ever said to her? What if we walk together?

John Palmer 13:55
Yeah, but yeah, I guess but she

Scott Benner 13:58
can't. My wife can either when I go out in public with my wife, she's, you have to keep up with her. Yeah, she's motoring along and you're like, hey, are we in a race that I'm not aware?

John Palmer 14:08
Right, right. I just tell her I'll see you at the next water source. I'll see you the next campsite. I'll get there when I get there.

Scott Benner 14:14
Dude, she's trying to leave you somewhere. So um, so you know. So you're in Thailand, you end up in Egypt? You I guess you finally do come home you get diagnosed and then you go on your hike through the through the trail is that right?

John Palmer 14:26
Yeah. So I was I they gave me a test kit right then and I've just started religiously checking my blood sugar's and I was hovering around 100 maybe 110. So with I naively thought with with diet with it to ketogenic diet, if I keep it low carb and I'm, you know, stay super hydrated. You know, maybe I can keep these numbers at bay. I thought that maybe I was the 1% of 1% of type ones that have these exigent circumstances that allow them to do this, that or the other. You know, I was doing I was googling stem cells and I was looking for every avenue I could do anything other than face the fact that I'm gonna need to get on insulin and start doing things the right way.

Scott Benner 15:05
Yeah. Did you speak to your brother in that time frame?

John Palmer 15:08
Oh, yeah, yeah. religiously. I was constantly calling him like, Hey, what's up with this? How does this work? And so it was, I think that if I didn't have a brother, that was type one, and I didn't know the ins and outs of type one diabetes, that I never would have gone on trail and tried to hike 1000 miles with you know, a decreasingly functioning pancreas. Satya,

Scott Benner 15:28
did he give you any advice in that time that you ignored? But you look back on now and think that was the right thing right there.

John Palmer 15:37
Right. So he gave me some advice. But he honestly, I've been since I become a type one diabetic. I've been really hounding him to read this article, read this book, go listen, these three podcasts because I find that he got a lot of that. Don't die advice from hospitals. You know, I talked to him, I was like, hey, what were your numbers when you were, you know, 15. And he's like, Oh, my endo said keep it 130 and just go from there. So he got a lot of, again, that don't die advice that you get from a hospital protocol to, that's not really going to keep you at the numbers that you'd like to with control. But it's just to keep you keep you out of the emergency room.

Scott Benner 16:13
Yeah, it's just it's interesting, because he got it at a different time, you know, in history and at a different age. And I was wondering if he was going to be the one who was like, Listen, here, here's the skinny on this. Or if you were going to look at him and go, Wow, I'm learning so much. I think maybe he's in a different place than I want to be in.

John Palmer 16:33
Yes. Yeah. That's a really good point. He was very instrumental once. So I hiked 1000 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail, and then winter hit. And so I had this kind of like, winter couple months, I was like, What am I going to do? So I flew to Florida to try to hike across Florida and I get about 500 miles across Florida. And my numbers just kept creeping up and creeping up. I was like, Okay, this is this is not working. And I think I was on Metformin at one time, which is kind of like a type two diabetes medication, right, that an endo prescribed to me and, and that was working with decreasing effectiveness. So I thought, Okay, well, this isn't working. So I called my brother and he was living in Miami at the time, and I'm somewhere in Central Florida in the Everglades or what have you. And I said, Hey, Mike, I need you to come pick me up. So he drove out there picked me up, took me to his place, and I just remember that first unit of insulin when I you know, shut it up on my butt. I immediately just felt this wave of euphoria. This like my body was finally like, Oh, this is what you've needed the whole time. What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you why'd you wait this long on us? And he was very instrumental in giving me a proper advice for Bolus and Pre-Bolus. Seeing all the all the basics that you kind of need laid out in front of you.

Scott Benner 17:43
That's excellent. I I wonder how many people have that story because I hear it so frequently. You know, I have type one diabetes, but I was diagnosed as an adult and someone gave me Metformin. Now, you don't need you given Metformin because they thought you were type two, or because they because I don't understand otherwise.

John Palmer 18:02
Yeah, cuz they, I was, I was showing them my numbers. I'm like, Okay, well, you're not quite type one yet. You're type one and a half. So this might prolong it. You know, your pancreas might last Another week, another month, another six months, a year or what have you. So this might help me hurt the tide.

Scott Benner 18:17
Yeah. Okay. So they were trying to move you through your honeymoon without insulin.

Unknown Speaker 18:23
Yes, exactly. Right. Okay. Do you in retrospect, I

Scott Benner 18:26
was gonna say, looking back.

John Palmer 18:27
Yeah, yeah, looking back. It's like putting duct tape on the Titanic, you know, it was all the way down. It was like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. There's, there's just you know, it was on the way out.

Scott Benner 18:37
Yeah. And you should have been using insulin at that point, you think

John Palmer 18:40
100% on it. In retrospect, as soon as I found out, I should have driven to Mexico or driven to Canada loaded up on insulin. And then, you know, try to do what I was going to do. Right. Which is actually what we did, because we I'm in between that kind of winter. My wife and I we met in Thailand again to kind of visit some friends. And I thought, well, Thailand's insolence so cheap, let me just run by some pharmacies, and I was just getting it for a fraction of the price essentially. Gotcha. JOHN,

Scott Benner 19:09
are you stalking plastic cups while you're talking to me? What's go?

John Palmer 19:12
I got a cute little kitten, and she's going crazy. So I removed her toys. So it should be it should be quiet. We've had a little quarantine Kitty, which has been really fun. But yeah, noisy.

Scott Benner 19:22
You gave birth during this quarantine. Something like that. How did you get it? Uh, how did you get the kitten delivered to you airdrop. Oh, well,

John Palmer 19:29
there's Yeah. Well, there's unfortunately just a million cats on Facebook that need adoptions. So we found a little cat its mother died. And yeah, you know, the owner was happy to deliver it on over so yeah, we got a little cat.

Scott Benner 19:43
So is that kitten an indication that you are not going to be traveling the world anymore.

John Palmer 19:48
I know we really want to try to travel the world as much as possible. But we do want to have kind of home base and we're actually hoping that's kind of going to be in a bit of an adventure cat. So she's a kid. Right now, but we got a little halter and a little leash and stuff and we're slowly taking her out to the parks and walking her around a little bit. Hopefully we're gonna get her into a little Catholic and height trails with us. So

Scott Benner 20:09
So the plan is that this kitten one day will be a cat who's sitting in a boat in Egypt, when you say, Hey, I think we should have a baby. And

John Palmer 20:17
exactly, that's the plan.

Unknown Speaker 20:19
Girls girl's gonna get tired of you at some point.

Unknown Speaker 20:22
At one point, she's

John Palmer 20:23
gonna say enough is enough.

Scott Benner 20:26
JOHN, do you have any ideas that involve you cutting the lawn on Saturday?

John Palmer 20:31
Yeah, but you go fix the garage.

Scott Benner 20:33
That's so you really? See you're, you're a free spirit. John's like you. I have to tell you, I don't I like my dogs. Fine. But I if you if I want to sleep past 730 I can't own a dog. It's it's that it's that impactful. And if I'm trying to imagine a world where I'd be like, I'm gonna travel still, we'll take the pets with us. I think that's a special person that has that thought. And it's not, you're not um, you're not not thinking it through, you understand the impact of it. And you're actually you're up for it. Yeah, no

John Palmer 21:05
hundred percent. In fact, this cat to me is kind of just a little dry run for the diabetic dog that I really want to get. I want to get like a young hungry Mutt and do the best I can to train it to smell my blood sugar. And then I'll have you know, a super fun diabetic dog that can take hiking with me. Like a cool Yeah, cool. Animal for life.

Scott Benner 21:24
Have you heard my episode with the guy that did the strangest dog himself? You did?

John Palmer 21:28
Yes. Yes. Hundred percent.

Scott Benner 21:30
So this podcast is is is ruining your life, john. But I my real. My real question here is in your initial like, correspondence to me. You were telling me about the you know, the diagnosis, then right off onto the trail? And how the podcast was helping you back then can I ask how you found it?

John Palmer 21:53
Oh, yeah, it was tremendous. So I had exhausted all of the I had read all of the hospital protocols that they have for people with type one. And I listened to every TED Talk. And I was like, Okay, well, I'm a glutton for podcasts. So there has to be a diabetic podcast out there, and listen to a few. And then I found juice boxes like, Okay, this one's resonating with me. This is kind of your easy come easy go disposition was kind of in line with my temperament. So it's like, Okay, this is this one could work. And then hearing the numbers, and the technology and the lifestyle that people were using and living in, I was like, Oh, this is super tangible, like I can do the things I want to do. while still being a type one diabetic. And, you know, going everywhere I want to go and doing everything I want to do. I'm not gonna let you know, type one, be the thing that I use as the excuse. Because I mean, I use plenty of other things is excuse. I just don't want to take one to be my excuse.

Scott Benner 22:45
I don't want to make you so bold, john, that you're trying to travel the world with a caravan of puppies and kittens, though? Like you have to be a little reasonable. You understand? Right? Yes,

John Palmer 22:54
yeah. And I think one of the things that I've been able to figure out along the way is, you know, how to manage insulin and testing and all those things, moving from country to country, you know, on a road trip on a hiking trip on planes, having to manage all of those things. It's Yeah, it's just been trial by fire, essentially.

Scott Benner 23:15
So was the podcast more about attitude for you? Or are you picking up management ideas to because you have no technology? So it's interesting.

John Palmer 23:23
Yeah. So yeah, the technology parts just made me envious. And, you know, actually, the way I've kind of thought about is like, I'm going to hit those same figures, I'm just going to do it with low tech. If that means that to check my blood sugar a million times a day, then that's all I'm gonna do. Because I want I want I yeah, I kind of demanded myself to hit these numbers hit these quotas. So I'm hearing the numbers that people are able to get with a continuous glucose monitor and and, you know, an omni pod or a pump. And I thought, well, I should try to do the same thing, even if I'm low tech. So it took a lot more work and a lot more. Yeah, it just took a lot more work. But you know, I was still labeled and looking at my agency numbers. When I was kind of untreated. I was at a seven and then it brought it down to a five three, and now I've been about a six the last couple of weeks, and those are significantly higher than I would like but I kind of dabbled in vegetarianism and veganism for a minute, but I found it to be super unsustainable, just because it was so high carb. Okay. But yeah, I have been able to essentially hit some of those numbers and trying to

Scott Benner 24:26
how much intensive time is spent getting that five or that six with the, with the vegetables or are you in a rhythm now?

John Palmer 24:38
Now and they've been a bit in a rhythm where I know, I think, specifically for myself, it was being able to have some foods, they know what they're going to do. And then when I do miss the mark, I have a handful of you know, little tricks or tips that I use to kind of move my blood sugar the way that I need to There's always a yoga mat. I'm always, I love cold showers. So I know I can move my blood sugar 1020 points, at any point if I want to by taking a freezing cold shower, or doing some jumping jacks or hopping on my bike or doing like, I love playing for his niece or wife and I always go through freezing at the park. So I'm trying to do all the other peripheral things to try to keep it in line. If, if I can't do it with the tech that I have,

Scott Benner 25:27
who told you about the cold shower? I've never heard that one.

John Palmer 25:30
Oh, that one. Um, I think it was just some kind of hippie guru thing. His name's Wim Hof. He's kind of just some like Yogi cold water, it's kind of those Heat Shock proteins and cold shock proteins, I think there's a good bit of science backing those up. So I love taking super hot showers where I'm just just sweating bullets the whole time, kind of like a sauna. If I had a sauna, I would do that. Or a cold shower can move at the same. Or I find that if you know, a couple downward dogs on a yoga mat can move what I need to move, you know, in varying degrees. So I try to use all those other kind of physical tools to move my blood sugar when I need to, because I'm not currently with the technology that would like to have.

Scott Benner 26:11
It's interesting. I hadn't heard the cold side I I have heard of quite a bit about sauna dry heat. And that and that Heat Shock being good for you. But I didn't I didn't know the other part of it. And obviously the activity is just, you know, it's right there. Arden's working out more, since we've been trapped in the house, doing doing more intensive workouts. And, you know, if she there's either we have to manipulate her insulin prior, she has to take some sort of a snack going into it. Or, you know, we have to, you know, she has the time it after a meal and sort of let the meal help with it. Because, you know, she can see 70 or 80 points pretty quickly come off her bladder with a workout.

John Palmer 26:55
Yeah, hundred percent. I can recall you talking about being out all day with Arden for a softball tournament in the blazing heat for you know, 567 hours. And while I was trying to do the same thing, hiking, you know, a marathon a day, every day, day after day, I was trying to do those same things. But with the limited technology, it just took so much more management. Yeah. So like if I'm up in the mountains, and am I lightheaded because there's no oxygen up here on my lightheaded? Because I'm low. So in all of these situations, when in doubt, I would just test it out,

Scott Benner 27:31
how often do you think you'd have?

John Palmer 27:33
Now, sometimes it's as low as five, six times a day. But when I was on trail, sometimes you'd be 2025 30.

Scott Benner 27:40
And that, and that was necessary, you found that you never were like, Oh, I'm doing this too much. This was what was needed.

John Palmer 27:45
You know, it's funny, because when I talked to kind of an old school and endocrine, he was like, oh, tests, you know, test once before a meal and three hours after, and I was like, Well, I'm testing, you know, 1020 times a day. He's like, Oh, that's too much. And I'm like, Well, my number is gonna be not my number is going to be off. If I'm not testing that much with the things that I'm trying to do.

Scott Benner 28:04
Yeah, I think when they say that back, then their expectation was that your blood sugar was going to go somewhere around 300 and then drop back down again. So you might as well not pay attention while it's high, because it's going to be high anyway. Right. And then if it's high, three hours later, once the food's out of you, then it's okay to try to fix that number. And that's just a, you know, obviously, an old way of looking at it, he took a new way of thinking without the technology and applied it. And you know, I've talked about it before prior to Arden having a dexcom. We tested a lot and and always in those times where I was like, I need to know what's happening now not so much about when the food went in. That you know, that model wasn't in my head, it was more about trying to figure out the bigger picture without being able to see a glucose monitor.

John Palmer 28:51
Right 100%. And I feel like trying to flesh out that beer picture is a bit of a challenge with that tech without that technology. Because the the way I kind of envisioned it is like if you guys with your CGM, you have a graph. So I wanted a graph to but all my data points were, you know, a finger stick. So I still thought like, I want to know what this graph is doing. And not having data points isn't acceptable. So I just got a more finger six got to find out

Scott Benner 29:16
and you're back. But your background? Is that a way? What am I asking here? Is that a way that your brain always worked? Or did you make this adjustment for diabetes?

John Palmer 29:27
I think I definitely made this adjustment for diabetes, because I think my personality might be a little bit more like, Oh, we can brush it under the rug. It's we don't have to address it today. We can put it off till tomorrow. And then when I kind of got hit with abuse, I was like there's no waiting for tomorrow for diabetes. It's all user managed. It's it's all falls on me. So I kind of grabbed the bull by the horns in that regard and really took a proactive, proactive approach. And when I do mess it up and I'm lethargic and I you know, didn't Pre-Bolus for a thing or something and I'm not seeing the numbers that I Should I kind of look at myself in the mirror? And I think like, well, there's only one person that can change this. So it's got to come from me.

Scott Benner 30:09
Touched by type ones annual dance show is happening on November 14, at 7pm. Eastern, go to touched by type one.org. To find out more, and just go to programs and click on dancing for diabetes, November 14 at the Saturday at 7pm. Eastern, touched by type one.org. Will you be watching the dance program online that day with your brand new Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor telling you what your blood sugar is in real time, showing you what direction it's moving in letting you know, if you need more insulin, less insulin, telling you everything that you need to know, you could be by going to dexcom.com Ford slash juice box. And hey, if you're a veteran, dex coms covered completely now for veterans in the United States, and all of that information is@dexcom.com forward slash juice box, I can prove it.com forward slash juice. I'm going through it right now. I'll just get started with the dexcom g six, you just click on it. On the next page, you fill out a little bit of information. Tell them what kind of diabetes you have. Because you know, you could work Dexcom to if you're type two. And then right here, the magical part primary insurance type, you can put your commercial insurance in Medicare, Medicaid or VA healthcare. Check it out today, it is well worth your time. My daughter uses an omni pod tubeless insulin pump and a dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor to manage her Type One Diabetes at her a one C with zero diet restrictions has been between five two and six to four coming up on seven years. Actually, if you'd like to try out that on the pod, you go to my Omni pod.com Ford slash juice box to get your free no obligation demo sent directly to your phone. That's right on the pod once you were a demo pod to see if you like it. It's super easy. And it's super easy to do takes a few moments online, they send it to your house, you or your loved one. Where's the Omni pod? It's non functioning. So don't worry, it's just you know, but it's the actual pump. So you'll feel the weight of it, the size everything about it. And then you can do all the things that you normally do sleep, eat, run, jump, shower, watch the television, Tony, right, whatever you whatever your thing is, you do it with the Omni pod on soon. In my experience, what you'll find is you forget you're wearing it and you realize ooh tubeless insulin pumping. You mean I could just like get hungry, like a little peckish for one cookie and wander into the kitchen go food one cookie, eight carbs, this is nice. And pull out the controller for the Omni pod which by the way is not attached to it because it's completely tubeless. So you're not tethered to anything. And just say to it I ate carbs button and then a insulin just boop boop boop goes down. It doesn't make the boo boo boop sound that was me and goes right in. And next thing you know, you hit on your cookie, it took no time. You didn't have to inject. You're not connected to a bunch of tubing. You live your life just like you always would. It's amazing. My daughter's been using it on the pod since she was four years old. She is 16 now and she's worn one every day. My omnipod.com forward slash juice box, get your free no obligation demo sent directly to your house dexcom.com forward slash juice box touched by type one.org links are in the show notes. Links are at Juicebox podcast.com. head out there and upgrade your deal.

John Palmer 34:11
I kind of look at myself in the mirror. And I think like Well, there's only one person that can change this.

Scott Benner 34:17
You know, that's incredibly commendable, john, because, you know, you spent most of the time on here so far talking about a carefree idea, you know, lifestyle, like if you apply data to almost any of your other decisions, the data would tell you to do something different than what you're doing. And so I was like, that's really kind of incredible that you made that shift just for this but didn't lose it in the rest of your life.

John Palmer 34:40
Right. Yeah, I think I yeah, hundred percent. And on that note, I think I tried to parlay this kind of like boohoo I have diabetes into No, let's go attack this situation. Let's go move forward proactively. Kind of like you. You echo in this podcast. pretty frequently. It's like you have to be proactive about it. You have to be Making Moves to move into the direction you want to go. Because there's it's never gonna happen on its own otherwise,

Scott Benner 35:05
yeah, no diabetes is a lot like you walking in the woods with your wife, if you get behind, you're always just always chasing and you're never gonna catch up. Right? Exactly, yeah. And then you know, your wife, finding a place to stop for water is basically your body. Finally, finally, you know, clearing all the food out of your system, and hopefully, your blood sugar returning to normal, and we're at least a good starting place. Now, I'm obviously a firm believer in being ahead of diabetes, I would much prefer you do something that goes, you know, the direction you don't mean it to do, but at least you can say that Alright, well, I did this, and I got a little low. Next time, I'll know how to do it better, rather than constantly letting diabetes go first. And then you just staring into the abyss wondering, you know what happened, because so many things have now happened, you have no earthly way of deciphering all of them. You know, you have to be ahead of the wave, you know, just count.

John Palmer 36:04
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I feel like that that proactive kind of not aggressive approach, but kind of like a Yeah, the progressive approach, I think, is really beneficial for diabetes. And on that note, I also tried to kind of use diabetes as the reason or the justification. To go that little bit extra to like, this morning, I went for a bike ride and bought a bike off of Craigslist a couple days ago, because just want to be able to get out in the city and kind of move around in the hills. And I thought, Okay, well, I'm tired, I should go home, but I saw a church up the hill is like, well, you have diabetes, you should probably go bike up to that church and get a little bit more exercise because it won't kill you.

Scott Benner 36:43
Nice. And that and that that was your push, you're just I need this exercise for my overall health. Specifically, because I have type one, you know, it's a bonus otherwise,

John Palmer 36:54
all right. And I think I took that from something that you had kind of said about art in I think it was maybe getting ready for summertime and like, hey, Oregon, what are you gonna do over the summer, you can't just, you know, hang out here and watch Netflix all day, you got to go do this, this or this? And that kind of thought, you know, john, you're lazy. If you're left to your own devices, you really got to get this internal fire to keep moving because diabetes is it's walking either way. You got to run faster than it.

Scott Benner 37:20
I'm hearing a Morgan Freeman voice over my head. Left to his own devices. JOHN is inherently lazy.

John Palmer 37:29
Beginning of Shawshank, right, yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 37:32
Luckily, podcast.

Unknown Speaker 37:34
Yeah.

Scott Benner 37:36
That's where Scott Yeah. Scott said you should get up doesn't take his own advice, by the way, just tells john and his daughter and anybody else who's listening.

John Palmer 37:45
Yeah, for sure. And I'm taking all the little cheap tricks. I can like, whatever. Like I heard some cheesy motivational quote, The other day, I was like, motivation is like a shower doesn't last, you need a new one all the time. And that's kind of the way I feel about motivation. And I was trying to channel some tip or trick or even if it's some chintzy little thing, if it gets me to do the thing that I should have been doing already, then it was a success. Whatever works,

Scott Benner 38:08
honestly, I mean, quite honestly, like whatever works, if you need to hang up a poster or write it on your hand, or, you know, put somebody in charge telling you to move, like whatever it is, make yourself accountable is you know, it's fasting. Listen, I've been stuck in this house for, you know, six weeks now. And the other day, I thought, hey, Scott, what if we just didn't eat one day? Like, you know what I mean? Like, what if we just like tried to scale back this, you know, because it's, it's just, there's, there's times when there's nothing to do, and you do find yourself going, like, Oh, this is just a cracker. It's just a pretzel, but they're all calories that I would normally eat. And so I just, I looked at myself in the mirror, and, and I was like, This isn't okay. Like, you know, I put a couple pounds on since this started, and I was already not where I wanted to be. So I just, I put it in my mind, I was going to do something, I didn't know what it was going to be. And I saw another person online, say, Hey, I'm doing a water fast. And I thought I could do that. And so I did a 36 hour water fast. And then I went on intermittent fasting, and I lost seven pounds in like five days. He was fantastic. Yeah, you know, and so I'm just like, it's not, it's no trouble for me. I actually kind of prefer it, why would I not? Why would I not do this more frequently. So now I'm going to wait seven days and I'm going to hit that I'm going to do the 36 hours again, and just you know, put in that and by the way, 36 hours, you're asleep for eight nine of them anyway, it's just one day. It's one day of drinking water when your stomach says hey, you're hungry. That's,

John Palmer 39:41
ya know, I'm a big fan of that as well. And if I ever have like a blow up meal with you know, burgers and fries and dessert or whatever, the next morning I'm like, you know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe skip breakfast and lunch and then I got a 20 something hour fast going, you know, it's not like I don't have the calories in my system from yesterday's gluttonous meal. So Let that clear knows. Yeah.

Scott Benner 40:02
I think sometimes psycho psychologically, and maybe subconsciously, and maybe not so much. You have that sort of like, I don't know what to call it, but like, you feel like Well, I've already messed up. I might as well double down. And instead, instead of waking up after the fries and the and the and the burger and saying, Let me do something a little more reasonable today, you're like, well, let's just go for pancakes. I've already screwed this whole thing up.

John Palmer 40:29
Right, right. There's leftover dessert. Let's eat that for breakfast. Yeah,

Scott Benner 40:31
right. And before you know it, you're eating cold pizza off of the counter. With underwear standing over the sink, when nine hours prior, you are literally mumbling to yourself. Why did I eat all of that pizza?

John Palmer 40:43
Yeah, exactly. And so I found that, like, I get especially early in my kind of diabetes. I was I got really envious. I got really jealous. And not. Yeah, maybe even resentful of people just eating carb laden things all around me. And like, man, I can't I can't do that, that I'm so jealous. And then I realized, well, I could have a bite of it. Yeah, I can't have, you know, five slices of pizza without, you know, dealing with my blood sugar for the rest of the day, especially without tech. But you know, I can I can have a bite, I can have a nibble I can. You know, there's little things I can do. Where I feel almost sated enough. Without having blown my blood sugar up.

Scott Benner 41:21
I have a question where you have five slices of pizza person prior to diabetes?

John Palmer 41:26
No, probably not.

Scott Benner 41:28
That interesting, then just it really is very reminiscent of the, you know, the kind of, you know, sheltering in place we're doing right now. There's people who never leave their house for years, they don't care about it, then suddenly someone tells them they can't leave their house. And they're like, this is bull. I, I need my freedom. I want to go outside. You never went outside before what do you even care? But But you you see people eating food that all the sudden you think I'm not, you know, quote unquote, allowed to have that, which wasn't, you know, which isn't true to begin with. And I can follow you through five slices of pizza, if you want to try it sometimes. But But the point, the bigger point is, is that you didn't want the five slices of pizza, you just didn't want to be told you couldn't have.

John Palmer 42:10
Yeah, exactly. And it's like that kind of fear of missing out like everybody's just eaten away carelessly. And I have to do all of these things. boohoo for me. And then again, trying to channel that into Okay, well, how can we use this for like, a positive motivating force rather than a boohoo Poor me? And again, like I'm very envious and jealous of the people with a good hold of their technology where they can I know what four or five slices are going to do. So I can have five or six because it's not that far off from you know, a few. I think,

Scott Benner 42:42
you know, I'm sorry to cut you off. It's a very important point to make here. That you didn't want the five slices until someone told you you didn't want them. And how often is that happening to people? You know, how often are they like, oh, I've got this type one diabetes. Now look how it's ruined my life. I can eat an entire lemon meringue pie. Have you ever done that? Did you ever construct? Did you ever once in your life thinking oh, I'm going to do today? lemon lime pie, whole thing? nine inch pie? Cuz no one's you know, no one's ever thought that before. You've never thought that before. And you can't let yourself be kind of pushed around that way, by your thoughts. Because your thoughts? Often, you know, they're often fighting against you a little bit. You don't you don't realize it all the time. It's just it was really interesting when you said that. So I appreciate you bringing that up.

John Palmer 43:30
Yeah, it's that kind of classic FOMO fear of missing out.

Scott Benner 43:33
Yeah, right. If I was younger, I would, I would have said FOMO. But I you know, I'd have to Google that to be sure that it was what I meant. And because there'd be part of me that would think that that was an 80s like grunge band or something or 90s grunge band or something. Even I forgot that grunge was in the 90s just now I've just I've crested that age where I could just whip out FOMO on my own, you know? Yeah. Somebody texted me something the other day. It was one of those like four letter acronyms. And I thought, let me just Google that before I respond to make sure I'm responding properly.

John Palmer 44:04
Right. That's when the beauty is that teaching middle schoolers. I teach middle school history. And so I'm always up on the latest. OK, Boomer or whatever, whatever little saying, you know, it's going around. Yeah. Well, your gigs out there.

Scott Benner 44:18
You're old to them. Where are you teaching right now?

John Palmer 44:20
So now I'm in the capital city of Costa Rica, San Jose. Do you speak Spanish?

Limpopo?

Yeah, so I spoke very little Arabic, and pretty decent Thai. And then I've been really working on my Spanish. But that's

Scott Benner 44:35
sort of part of your Lord though. I'm assuming they want you to teach the kids in English.

John Palmer 44:40
Yeah, so these are Yes, spoiled international students, kids. So like their parents might have went to a university in Australia or in States or Canada or wherever. And they want their kids to go somewhere similar to that. So they put them in these kind of yet spoiled rich kids schools.

Scott Benner 44:57
My sister in law teaches children in China. online and she said their their parents are almost always physicians or, or very wealthy people and they're trying to get them through you know that the education system in China which apparently is, is like a it's like a one and done thing like if wherever you land at the end is where you land and it really it really does impact the the complete rest of your life.

John Palmer 45:23
Right and it's super rigorous as well. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:26
Wow. So okay, so you have a Costa Rican cat I didn't realize that.

Unknown Speaker 45:30
Yeah.

John Palmer 45:31
Well Chico, Kenya, Costa Ricans are called Tika so we got our Chico kitty,

Scott Benner 45:35
kitty. That's it. I'm writing that down. Because I think that's amazing. And so far pushed into a black bear is the name of your episodes. I'm trying to get away from that.

John Palmer 45:46
Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:47
so so you teach five days a week? How does that work? I'm interested.

Unknown Speaker 45:52
Yeah, yeah,

John Palmer 45:52
it's just a regular. If you saw the school, if you saw the kids, if you talk to them on the phone, you wouldn't know that they're in Costa Rica. It's just a super normal school, maybe slightly better. I mean, I started at some really, really impoverished schools and some really not rough situations, but they definitely didn't have all the academic supplies that this current school has. But yeah, it's um, it's a really really high level students. They just super on the ball really supportive students and parents and staff that it's a really, really great situation. super happy to be here currently.

Scott Benner 46:27
Is it a place you could live forever? Or is it not how you think of it?

John Palmer 46:32
Oh, no, it definitely we moved here. And we're like, oh, we could be here for for a while. So I think that we're going to be here for three, four years. Have a cat a little car little little crappy four by four and a surfboard. So we're going to be here for a little while. Okay.

Scott Benner 46:47
It's one of the places that I always dreamed about vacationing. And then when I look I think, oh, I don't speak the language and and then I I talked myself out of it very quickly, but it's it's Is it a place have you do you always feel safe?

John Palmer 47:00
Yeah, hundred percent, especially coming. I mean, growing up outside the Bay Area, California. I mean, I, I some more carjackings in San Francisco, are more attempted muggings in San Francisco than I have in any of the places I've lived abroad. But that again, is if you're in the wrong spot at the wrong time, then, you know, you kind of brought it on yourself. So yes, super safe. Great, relatively good infrastructure. It's fantastic for the region. The the people that's one of the things I really enjoy about living in Costa Rica currently, it's just the disposition and the friendly nature of the people.

Scott Benner 47:36
And the minute do the municipalities treat the expats? Well,

John Palmer 47:41
oh, yeah, they they really enjoy the gringos out here. They they most gringos that come out here. I know that's kind of a racial slur, but they use it down here, the term gringo and gringa, kind of in a friendly way, which is different from what I was used to in California, but they really like gringos here. They, it kind of it pushes the economy around a little bit here and there where you know, gringos come down and they buy a bunch of properties. So the property values might go up, or the buying power of the local currency might go down because of all the influx of cash, but no, it's um, about 30% of their whole GDP is tourism. So they really, really enjoy people coming through.

Scott Benner 48:21
I'm laughing in the back of my mind feeling like someone went off to you know, john, when we call you a gringo, it's good. Don't worry. You're like, Okay, thank you.

John Palmer 48:31
Yeah, you say, nice.

Scott Benner 48:34
Every time you walk away, there's a group of guys that are like, he buys that every time. It's amazing. Anyway, doesn't leave anything. It's got such an idiot. I mean, he's nice and all I like what he's doing with the kids. But why is he so easy to get this over on? I, I hear what you're saying. There's different terminology that in different places Can you know it lands that can land much differently?

John Palmer 48:59
That's one of the other things about living here too, and just living anywhere. broadest is how remarkably similar it is to the lifestyle that you might lead in the West.

Scott Benner 49:09
How so?

John Palmer 49:10
There's, I mean, we watch Netflix, there's a Gold's Gym across the street. I could walk to the movie theater in four minutes. You know, everything's surprisingly normal. If you can learn how to say pojo instead of chicken you can get by

Scott Benner 49:24
live if you can learn to say for your freedom, you can order some fried chicken you'll be okay. And and are you picking the language of just completely organically just from being around speakers?

John Palmer 49:37
No, I'm not studious enough to do that. I wouldn't maybe no, I'm not immersed enough to do that because my home life is all English because my wife and I Well, we pepper each other in Spanish, but we're not having long, intricate conversations in Spanish. And then my students all speak perfect English and my academic studies and the things I teach are all in English. All my meetings, all My administration or my colleagues are all Western. So I do take the the school does a really good job of supplying a one or two hour language class once a week. And then there's million free apps and whatnot and all the subtitles for everything we like, if we're watching a Netflix show, we always turn the subtitles on Spanish. There's little tips and tricks we do here and there to try to catch a new word or two every day.

Scott Benner 50:23
That's kind of brilliant. The subtitle idea really is interesting. And you know, I'm not that you wouldn't, but your friends like you hang out, like are used to just you and your wife back at your place at the end of the day until the next day. Are you meeting people and like, branching out socially?

John Palmer 50:39
Yeah. So again, I play Ultimate Frisbee, which has just been a godsend for everywhere I go. In every major city, there's a big opening for the crew, there's big groups. So everywhere I move, I immediately have a network of friends to plug into right away. I've been playing for 15 1015 years. So I'm a half decent asset to a team. So for example, when we moved to Costa Rica, we went out to the practice, we start playing, we did the best we could. And in that practice, they're like, Hey, we're going to a tournament in Panama. Two days from today. Can you come with us? And we're like, well, I've school on Tuesdays, I can't come but let me know about the next one. And so maybe I think it's about a couple months ago, my wife and I, we took a bus to Nicaragua to go play frisbee tournament with our team with a bunch of bunch other Central American teams. So I got to play with my team, meet new friends meet new other people in the region. So that's one of the really, really valuable ways that I have to kind of connect in with the community, right? And then also, the school does a really good job of linking you up with other like minded folks.

Scott Benner 51:41
I guarantee that no matter how long I do this podcast, no one is ever going to say again, I took a bus to Nicaragua to be in a frisbee tournament.

John Palmer 51:49
Yeah, anybody has their niche, right? No, no, I'm

Scott Benner 51:52
pretty sure I'm pretty sure you've spoken a sentence, no one will ever speak again. That's, well, that's incredible, honestly, like that. And I do, I firmly believe in what you say. And I traveled not nearly as much as you. But every time I get somewhere, I think this is like everywhere else. Everywhere is like everywhere,

John Palmer 52:11
you know, and 100% when every time I go to like a major downtown tourist trap, Main Street type of place, you see the same mass produced Chinese tchotchkes at every single High Street and every single you know, major city, like if you're in, if you're in Chinatown, in San Francisco, you're gonna see the same things that you would see on the tourist trap street in Costa Rica, or in Cairo, or in Bangkok, they all have the same kind of mass produced stuff. And like when you, the more you probably realize,

Scott Benner 52:39
I mean, things are so similar. You're making me feel like there's a warehouse in China production facility, where they walk in on one day, and the sign comes up and says Florida, and they're like today, we're gonna make stuff that people who go to Florida will think has been natively made in Florida. And tomorrow, it'll be Thailand. And the next day, it'll be here and you know, stuff that you I'm wondering

John Palmer 52:59
that same thing too, because I feel like I see the same, the same, you know, t shirts, the same mugs the same, you know, cupholders for sale all around the world.

Scott Benner 53:07
Yes, I have a beautiful little Um, I don't know what you would call like a wooden dish that you put on your your desk that holds thumbtacks and like little loose things that don't have anywhere else to go. That was bought on an island and definitely made in China.

John Palmer 53:22
Yeah, exactly. I wonder how many local Yeah, local tchotchkes people have mass produced in China. So how

Scott Benner 53:27
does your health insurance work there? How do you get your insulin every

John Palmer 53:30
day health insurance down here is really good. So um, well, that's again, that's a product of my school who has really good health insurance. So when I found out I was diabetic, it was probably the worst time possible because I was in between jobs, living on savings for that year trying to do some, you know, big, epic hike. So I'm like, I don't know how to pay for any of these things. And then it was, I needed all of these prescriptions in America, and it couldn't buy anything over the counter and it's prohibitively expensive. So it was actually cheaper for us to fly to Thailand. And we also flew to Cairo just to see friends and both both of those locations, and I just stocked up for a couple hundred bucks worth of insulin there. I had a backpack full of noval rapid or Lance lantis or what have you. It each of those locations. Now that I'm here in Costa Rica, we have really good health insurance. So I just walked to the local pharmacy, I pay out of pocket. They were bursting back in USD in a couple weeks or in a week or so. As far as the technology that's still left leaving something to be desired, but they don't quite have the CGM here yet.

Scott Benner 54:35
Okay. And so if you wanted to CGM, you'd have to pay cash and have it shipped from America or they won't even do that, or will they because you're an American citizen.

John Palmer 54:44
So they have they have a I think Medtronic that's the big brand, right and tronic

Scott Benner 54:49
tronic has the 670 G and the I can't think of their CGM name at the moment and then there's Dexcom was the one Arden uses and I fed in Libra which is not a container This monitor, but it's one of those ones that you can scan the thing and get the number without testing.

John Palmer 55:05
Okay, so I think they have the Libra and then they have an old Medtronic or two and they do not have a dexcom yet. So those are some of the CGM technologies that I'll be looking forward to getting in the next six months as things open up here.

Scott Benner 55:19
Yeah. How were you? When you said you, you'll be there for a number of years? How did you transition back home? Is your experience there looked on as, like, desirable back here when you want to come back?

John Palmer 55:32
Yeah, so I was able to get what I kind of saw the ceiling on teaching without credentials. in the developing world that kind of saw there, there's a pretty low ceiling on kind of your salary level. So I was able to get a master's degree while working abroad from Framingham State University, which is out in Boston. And so that's like, again, a Western recognized, you know, full fledged master's degree. And then all of the all of the schools that have been working at our Western Association of Schools and Colleges or wosk, a super they're wosk approved that the yet the big accrediting body. So all of the schools I've been teaching, it would transfer to my air quotes, like years of teachings, years of teaching earned. So if I did go back to teach in the West, all of that would kind of build up to increase salary and job position, what have you. But truth be told my wife and I don't have any plans on returning moving back to the west anytime soon? Because we they pay you a ridiculous amount of money to be a teacher in Cairo in Egypt? So we're thinking maybe after some nice cushy years in Costa Rica, maybe we'll we'll go for another cash grab and another developing country?

Scott Benner 56:47
Interesting. I don't want exact numbers. JOHN, I'm not asking your business. But if a teacher in America makes how much a year, on average, do you think 30 4050. Okay. And in Costa Rica,

John Palmer 57:02
oh, easy. 30 4050.

Scott Benner 57:04
Right. But you get to live in Costa Rica. And then look Costa Rica and lower

John Palmer 57:07
cost of living, right. And so and they pay for flights to and from wherever you want to go once or twice a year, and they pay for your housing, and they pay for your insurance. And there's all these other little added bonuses, like there's a school bus that comes to my front door to pick me up to take me to school every day to and from,

Scott Benner 57:23
wow, $50,000 in Costa Rica is like how much in California,

John Palmer 57:28
in California, it would probably be a similar buying power, maybe a little bit more. And, and most of our salaries are paid in US dollars. So there's actually this, there's this kind of cultural trend in Thailand, where people just ask you how much you make, and they ask you what your rent is. And at first was really jarring. But I found it to be really liberating, because it only kind of helps the employee to know what they're getting paid and all the people around them and only kind of adds to the the abilities of the employee. So I really appreciate having this kind of candid open open conversations. So in Thailand, they don't pay you anything because people want to move to Thailand. So you're looking at that, without a credential you're looking at, you know, 20 30,000 with a credential, you're looking at that 30 4050. And if you're at a good school, you're somewhere in the 60 7080 I did, I had a guy that I played Ultimate Frisbee with. He was from Iowa, he taught physics, and he was making 110 a year. And again, net negligible taxes, free flights, free accommodation, you know, all these other perks that you know, would be unheard of in the western. What?

Scott Benner 58:33
Why do people want to be in Thailand? What's the attraction?

John Palmer 58:36
There's a lot of medical tourism there. It's it's cheap. It's a lot of Australians go there Russians go there a lot of anything on the kind of that region of the world

Scott Benner 58:48
on it's really popular there. Gotcha. Okay, so now we are leading up to asking if, if it's 30 4050 What is it in Egypt?

John Palmer 58:58
Oh, it was summer. Yes, there's 4050 for like an entry level teacher. But again, there's literally no taxes and every other thing that the school pay series, so let's say your base salaries 40 50,000, then they're paying you 800 bucks or 900 bucks a month in rent. And so if they're paying my wife and I each 800 900 bucks a month in rent, and we're spending, you know, 700 bucks in rent between the both of us, then you know, just cash in hand.

Scott Benner 59:28
I see Oh, and then there's such a there's just no taxes. So you're, you're really bringing that money back with you.

John Palmer 59:35
Yeah, and, for example, there Uber Eats there in Cairo. Like I would order maybe three or four or five shawarmas like a kind of Middle Eastern burrito, I'd order you know, 20 of those a week and they're maybe 60 cents apiece, delivered pot fresh to your front door. Wow. Versus the Yeah, there's a multitude of things that made it really easy to live there. Conversely, there are some geopolitical things and some cultural things that make it slightly less appealing to live there, which is why it's considered air quotes a hardship position, which again, makes you that much more marketable when

Scott Benner 1:00:09
you go to another spot you're willing to do it. Is that that are Westerners not as welcome there as they are in Costa Rica.

John Palmer 1:00:17
Yeah, that's Yeah, that's one way of putting it. Um, also, it was really troubling for a really good example of this was my wife and I, we would, you know, traveled around together, and you just kind of got stared at all the time. And then I went to a frisbee tournament in Dubai, my wife got sick, because she got sick a lot there just because the, it's kind of, again, a slightly polluted or rather polluted city. And when I was traveling through the airport, and you know, going through customs only things I just suddenly not getting stared at. And it just felt like it just flowed through the airport and got no friction at all. And then it came back and I told him was like, hey, Katie wife. It was just so smooth moving through the airport. And she's like, Well, yeah, it's terrible for me moving anywhere without you. And I thought, Oh, it's so much easier for me to move without you. Because there's just a lot of unwanted attention towards Western women, or failed women. She was a lot of sexual harassment. I

Scott Benner 1:01:16
see. Oh, yeah. Oh, she Well, she probably looks naked to them, even when she's dressed. Right. That's interesting. And Cairo is such a dense city. Yes. Like it is. Really, those buildings are right on each other. It's,

John Palmer 1:01:30
it's, it's arguably the most densely populated city in the world. It's got about 22 million people. So it's one of the largest population centers in the whole world. And with little to no infrastructure. It's Yeah, it's it's a good challenge. Wow.

Scott Benner 1:01:43
But you, but it's, but it's worth it. Because your it'd be a little more money. And it sounds like you're up for the challenge.

John Palmer 1:01:50
Yeah. And it was such a great experience. Like, when we moved to Costa Rica, we got to know all of our colleagues, and we would just listen to them complaining like, oh, Costa Rica is this and this is wrong with Costa Rica. And we're like, Whoa, you know, how much worse it could be? I guess that was that was that was our takeaways? Yeah, I guess things aren't perfect. But you know, you could be in a situation that's a lot less desirable than than this one. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:02:16
Well, you're doing great work, man. It's really, it's a special kind of person who'd be who's willing to travel around like that, and put up with, you know, what your wife described? And, and, you know, just just, I mean, I want to be more honest, I think it's, I don't think everyone's got it in them to just go somewhere that they can't imagine in their mind. You know what I mean? Like getting there initially, there's so many fears. Like, I had a question that was based on fear earlier that didn't ask you and I thought I was gonna ask you, if you had a medical condition, would you want to come home, but that's just my, you know, probably baseless feeling that things are just better in America.

John Palmer 1:02:52
Right. And there are so many things that are air quotes better in America. Um, there are a lot of things that you can get an equivalent version of. So for example, while playing Ultimate Frisbee again, I blew up my ACL. Just before, I think it was like a month before we moved from, from Bangkok, Thailand to Cairo, Egypt. So I'm completely hobbled up, my wife has to move all of our stuff from one apartment to another and pack it all up to move to Cairo. And meanwhile, I'm getting an ACL surgery. And I was kind of worried, like, Do I go back home to do it? Do I get it done here. And so I started looking into the type of medical treatment I could get in Thailand for a significant operation like that. And I found a doctor that does nothing but ACL surgeries, he worked for the Thai national soccer team. He's been doing it for 30 years, he used all the latest medical technology. Big GE, you know, MRI machines, like all of it was, you know, top of the line stuff, and it cost me three grand out of pocket.

Scott Benner 1:03:56
Yeah, I all I could imagine, while you're telling that story, is your wife packing up that apartment and thinking this guy's a real treat? I'll tell you.

John Palmer 1:04:05
What, just wait till I ask you to hike across America with me?

Scott Benner 1:04:08
That's great. Well, I mean, listen, I'm sure there are things that are that are I don't know what the I don't think the word is better. But you're accustomed to it. There are things here The people here are accustomed to would feel different going somewhere else. It's a special person who can just make that leap and be accepting like that. Do you have a we're at an hour and I can't keep you much longer. But do you have any perspective on why that is? Did you grow up with like, hippie parents? Or like, Where did you get that feeling from?

John Palmer 1:04:36
Hmm, you know, I think a lot of it came down to reading a reading a few books and then also being kind of immersed in situations that I wouldn't have desired them to be like that. So I think I think a good example of this was like two weeks into Cairo. We're driving 90 minutes across the city and the driver I'm in the backseat. The Uber driver didn't buckle in his seatbelt. So he His car had this automated Ding, ding, ding, and it would go off every 10 seconds for a 90 minute car ride. And instead of asking him to buckle in his seatbelt or do something that, you know, he wasn't clearly wanting to do, he was happy to live with that thing. I thought, Okay, well, I can try to change the situation to make it the way I want to, or just accept it and try to enjoy it the best I can. So I found that to be a really good meditative practice to try to just enjoy the situation I'm in, regardless of the circumstances, when if there's circumstances that I want to if I need to change them, then, you know, be proactive about changing it. But if there's something that you're not willing or able to change, then just accept it for what it is

Scott Benner 1:05:40
because the driver is not bothered by the digging. So there's obviously a way to be Zen about it, right? What is it about you that? Listen, I'm gonna first of all tell you, I would vote for I don't want it the thing but it but if, if it's going to, then there must be a way to teach to talk yourself into not wanting to be upset by it, I guess. And maybe that is the same thing for the travel, just the idea that this is going to be different. But I don't have to react to that feeling I have inside like, Oh, this is different than what I'm expecting, it makes it wrong.

John Palmer 1:06:15
Right, and bringing that full circle back to diabetes back to type one, you know, it's not the situation that many of us would have chosen, or any of us would have chosen. But you still have to deal with the situation as it lays right now, and having kind of a positive and productive approach can at least give you the feeling that things are okay.

Scott Benner 1:06:33
Yeah. And at some point, I would tell you that after enough time, you know, I don't want to overuse something people say all the time a new normal, but it really does become you're accustomed to it. And then it shouldn't I think of pumps site changes as an example of this that you wouldn't know about yet. But they happen regularly on some sort of a, you know, you know, every few days, like, you know, situation for your on a schedule. And it in the beginning. I know, at least for me, and I've seen it for art, and you do get that feeling like Oh, here it comes. Like it's that thing I have to do again. But really, it isn't much different than what we were talking about before, right. And so at some point, you just give yourself over to the idea that this happens on this schedule. And if I expect it, and I tell myself, it's not a ding, ding ding it's just, it's what it is. And I'm not bothered by it anymore. I haven't had that feeling in years. But in the beginning, I did. And it was that feeling of I don't want this to be happening. versus this is happening. And I don't see it as bad. So

John Palmer 1:07:43
yeah, hundred percent.

Scott Benner 1:07:44
Oh, john, I really appreciate you doing this and for reaching out. And yeah, I mean, it's a magnificent story. And yeah, well,

John Palmer 1:07:51
I was I'm really appreciative that I could just give back in some small way to kind of the the resource that had given me so much when I really needed it. So you know, happy to touch base with you.

Scott Benner 1:08:01
I appreciate that. I also if four years from now, you've been using for a pump and a glucose monitor for a while. Come Tell me I'd love to have you back on again that make an interesting full circle.

John Palmer 1:08:11
Yeah, call you back from the next country.

Scott Benner 1:08:13
Yeah, we're Yeah, wherever don't don't even guess where it could be. could be anywhere.

John Palmer 1:08:17
Yeah. Leave it up. We'll leave it up to be decided.

Scott Benner 1:08:20
All right. Listen, that cat's gonna kill you in your sleep one day just so you know. Like they say the only difference between house cat house cats and lions is that the house cat knows it can overpower you if it could, it would come for you.

John Palmer 1:08:32
Yeah, well, mini lion. Yeah, hundred percent. If only

Scott Benner 1:08:35
if only it was if it felt like it could get you. It would take a shot john, just so you know.

John Palmer 1:08:40
Right, right. Dogs man's best friend. Cats are just putting up with us. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:08:44
no kidding. It's wonderful. A really thank you so much for doing this. And thanks so much to Dexcom on the pod and touched by type one for sponsoring this episode of the Juicebox Podcast. Don't forget that dancing for diabetes program for touched by type one is coming up soon. Go to touch by type one.org go to programs, click on dancing for diabetes. You'll see it right there. Check it out. And of course to get that free, no obligation demo of the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump you go to my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Then head right over to dexcom.com forward slash juice box to learn more and get started with the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. Hey, everyone, its Scott. As 2020 starts to wind down here. I just wanted to say thank you, the podcast. I'm looking now at the statistics for the podcast. And I'm realizing that since 2018, there's only been three months that didn't do better than the month previous to it. And when that happens, it only happens by like a percent or two, it's absolutely fascinating to watch the growth of the show. And that's completely because you all share the podcast with other people. So I wanted to tell you what that does. When you tell someone else about the show when it grows, and other people find it. This is from the private Facebook group. For the podcast. It's called Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes. I was referred to the podcast by a mutual tea One day, my son was diagnosed two years ago in August at the age of eight. He is now 10. And in my opinion, has made leaps and bounds in managing and administering his own MD is within two weeks of diagnosis. Don't get me wrong, there's been some very hard and struggling times. But after listening to several of these podcasts, as a parent of a type one, I paused and thought, this is exactly what I needed to hear. We are not the only ones. The other people are doing the same things we are day in and day out. So please keep up the great work. And the show. An adult comes in and says that not only are they a nurse, and thought they were going to be great at managing their type one diabetes, but it turns out that, you know, that's not how it worked. I BG levels are all over the place with extreme highs and unexpected lows. Simple things like doing yard work and walking around a mall caused me to come crashing down. But thankfully, I found the Juicebox Podcast through another Facebook site. And it is opened my eyes to a new way of managing my diabetes, I have been so afraid of being bold with insulin, because I live alone. And I work in a fast paced environment. I'm constantly worried about going low at night or having a seizure. So I live on the high side. This podcast has taught me so much and has given me the tools and the confidence to try to keep my BG in a tighter range. Thank you to all of the Juicebox Podcast followers for your knowledge and kindness. These messages come through Facebook, I get them on Instagram. They come as podcast reviews, mostly on Apple podcasts. Here's one from that the type one community is somewhat small. And when you're newly diagnosed, there just aren't a lot of people you can talk to and learn from. I found this podcast early on and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I know we wouldn't be doing so well, just three months into diagnosis had I not decided to listen. But doesn't matter how you share if it's in person on Facebook, Instagram some other way. As long as you're telling other people about your experience, they have an opportunity to have the same experience. And then the show grows and it reaches more and more people. The more people that reaches, the more people are able to support the sponsors. And the sponsors want to continue to support the show. And then you continue to get more show. It all is just one big ecosystem. And I guess it's one little ecosystem honestly. But it's the right kind of ecosystem that kind that helps. So I really appreciate all of your support, that you listen so fervently and that you're sharing the show with other people. it's um

it's incredibly touching. I wish you guys could all get these messages. They're heartwarming, no kidding that these messages seeing people's happiness health, getting a text from Jenny yesterday about. She's like I want to do more to help people. That kind of stuff. It fills my heart. It's great for my soul. And I hope you are having a similar experience with it.

---

Please support the sponsors

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate

#402 Throwing Darts with Jennifer

Jennifer has seen some stuff

Jennifer is an adult living with type 1 diabetes. She'll talk about pregnancy, living and loving.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Amazon Music - Spotify - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:12
Hello, everyone and welcome to Episode 402 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is called throwing darts with Jennifer. And it's going to cover a number of different topics surrounding type one diabetes. Please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Becoming bold with insulin, or listening to a podcast where a grown woman tells you about the time her doctor threw a needle ladder.

Oh, that's right. Jennifer's got a number of good stories about growing up, living with being married with and trying to build a family with Type One Diabetes.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries g Vogue hype open. Find out more at GE Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juice box. The episode is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. You can find out more at Contour Next one.com Ford slash juice box. And please don't forget to check out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box to see if the data they need from you is something you're willing to share. Because if it is, it's going to lead to great advancements for people with type one diabetes. Check them out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox.

Jennifer Rainey 2:13
Hi, my name is Jennifer Rainey. Um,

yeah, that's it.

Do I need to introduce myself? Like what I do or

Scott Benner 2:21
no, let's just thank the sponsors and then this thing. Perfect Big thanks to Omni pod Dexcom and Dexcom

Jennifer Rainey 2:27
I'm wearing both of those devices. So way to go Omnipod and Dexcom for keeping me alive. I

appreciate it.

Scott Benner 2:33
Jennifer Do you happen to know what link they could use to check out the product? Oh,

Jennifer Rainey 2:38
it's like backslash juice box to get a free trial demo that you can wear that. It doesn't Yeah, there's no insulin in it. You just try it out. See if you like it stuck to your body. You can go shower, jump into pool.

Scott Benner 2:53
Alright Jennifer, stop.

Jennifer Rainey 2:55
I'm doing your job for you.

Scott Benner 2:56
No, no, I just it was funny. Because you like Is that it? I'm like, Yeah, sure. That's it. Jennifer was here. Yes, diabetes, and it's Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 3:04
she's still alive. Should

Scott Benner 3:05
I start doing three minute episodes where people just say, Hey, my name is Jennifer. I have type one diabetes. And then it's over? Yes. Anyway. No, you don't have to tell me. I mean, I would assume everything's going to come out while we're talking. so sure. You don't have to you know, if you tell everybody everything about yourself. There'd be really no reason to listen to the conversation. Be like that Jennifer laid everything out in 30 seconds. That was done.

Jennifer Rainey 3:31
Yep. Oh, wait, I'm a fast talker, too. So it really is everything out in 30 seconds.

Scott Benner 3:35
Oh, everyone's gonna be thrilled you and I speed talking to this episode. Yeah, that's okay. Uh, let's, let's start here. You're single married?

Jennifer Rainey 3:45
I am married. I am married. We've been married for Oh, I'm bad at dates. He's great at dates. Um, since 2011. What? Wait, no, sorry. 2013. Wait, hold on to 612 16 There you go. Since whenever that was, so everybody's

Scott Benner 4:03
like, you know, understands now that anything you may say is, you know, it's about right. Yes. I'm sure your husband's gonna be thrilled later to find out that you missed your wedding year by two years. That's fascinating.

Unknown Speaker 4:17
Yes.

Scott Benner 4:18
What what happened in 2013? That made you think of that?

Jennifer Rainey 4:22
That's what I have my side.

Scott Benner 4:23
Okay. All right. So you got married in 2011?

Jennifer Rainey 4:27
and 2016.

Scott Benner 4:28
Sorry, wait. 16 start over. You know, your name. Jennifer. Right.

Jennifer Rainey 4:32
My name is Jennifer.

Unknown Speaker 4:33
Real quick. I am you definitely have diabetes.

Jennifer Rainey 4:36
I I do have. I have had that for 27 years. I

Scott Benner 4:40
know that. That you know, all right. Yes. 27 years. Watch this. It's 2020. You got diagnosed in 1993.

Jennifer Rainey 4:48
I did. Right before my sixth birthday.

Scott Benner 4:52
Yes. Congratulations. Six years old. 27 years. Let's think about that. That's just needles right? Little needles in a vial of insulin,

Jennifer Rainey 5:01
a big needles and two vials of insulin regular and link Tay.

Scott Benner 5:05
Oh, you were doing that.

Jennifer Rainey 5:07
I was doing that it was in 90 carb meals force force fed 90 carb meals.

Scott Benner 5:12
Wait 90 carbs in the six year old.

Jennifer Rainey 5:16
It started at 45. But then it went up to 90 because I wasn't growing.

Scott Benner 5:19
Ah, did you ever grow? Are you like four feet tall?

Jennifer Rainey 5:22
I'm still little. No, I've grown to a normal ish human size. I

think so

Scott Benner 5:27
good for you. Yes. Was that hard to eat that much food when you were a little Do you remember?

Jennifer Rainey 5:32
I do I it was very hard. And so a lot of it ended up just being like juice boxes and things like that to get my carbs up and to get fruit in. Because it was basically like, Here eat this pasta or the cereal and just chug the rest in juice, pasta, cereal

Scott Benner 5:48
and juice. Yeah. Part of the countries you grew up in

Unknown Speaker 5:52
Texas.

Scott Benner 5:56
I'm not saying I know anything. I really am not.

Jennifer Rainey 5:59
We had a lot of you know, actually, we had a lot of oatmeal growing up and grits and cream of wheat, things like that, that were very carb heavy to make sure I got my carbs in.

Scott Benner 6:10
Do you have any feeling for what your a one C was back then?

Jennifer Rainey 6:14
Oh goodness, it was it was never below 10 until I was probably 12 or 13?

Scott Benner 6:20
I wouldn't think so. Not with ya. Not with that old timey insulin and a bucket of oats.

Jennifer Rainey 6:27
Right, right. And even the testers were old timey it took 55 seconds I think on my first tester, my first glucometer to read my blood sugar.

Scott Benner 6:35
Yeah, well, you know all the numbers except when you got married. That's pretty interesting.

Jennifer Rainey 6:39
And that's what I have a reminders in my calendar. It gives me a two week reminder. And then a two day reminder. That's my like Amazon reminder. So I can order something really quickly.

Scott Benner 6:47
If you didn't do that. strong possibility your anniversary just roll by and you wouldn't notice.

Jennifer Rainey 6:53
Absolutely, absolutely, like 100% possibility,

Unknown Speaker 6:56
but you like the guy. Oh, I love him.

Jennifer Rainey 6:58
He's the best because the best human I've ever met.

Scott Benner 7:01
I just I'm saying I think it's like every once in a while on my anniversary. I'll bring something to my wife and she'll be like, Hey, I forgot to get a card. And I feel like that means Hey, I forgot it was sure.

Jennifer Rainey 7:14
Well, the good thing is I don't forget to love him. So I might forget the dates, but I try really hard to love him.

Scott Benner 7:21
That's a lovely, good for you. I want to go back in time again to these two old insulins and you basically being fed like a turkey. We're trying to get ready for Thanksgiving.

Jennifer Rainey 7:34
Like funneling food into me.

Scott Benner 7:35
Yeah. What What is it? Was that a Bugs Bunny? You're too young. Are you too young to remember? There was a turkey and they had to fatten up? Was it Daffy Duck?

Jennifer Rainey 7:45
I vaguely remember it, you know, like reruns? Yes.

Scott Benner 7:48
All right. I mean, that we'll figure out later because that doesn't feel important to your story, but it just popped into my mind. Uh, you don't think that you're a once he was under 10 for the first six years that you had diabetes? Do you know what changed, and how it started to come down,

Jennifer Rainey 8:05
um, technology, better insulins. Um, I finally started seeing a pediatric endocrinologist.

Scott Benner 8:13
And we're using that before what was happening.

Jennifer Rainey 8:16
I was I was seeing he was ancient. He was actually very traumatizing. I have needle phobia because this first doctor I saw, literally threw a needle at me from a syringe at me from across the room because he wanted to show me that it's not scary. And I was wearing. I was wearing shorts that day. And so it just kind of stuck into my thigh and flopped around for a little bit. As he's talking.

Scott Benner 8:37
You have to say, Wait, Holy Christ. When you were six years old, a man threw a syringe at you like a dart to say to you look, this isn't scary.

Jennifer Rainey 8:48
Absolutely. And I've looked him up. He's still alive. He's still alive. He's not practicing anymore. But he is still alive. syringe, Adam.

Unknown Speaker 8:56
Well, I mean, he's probably just the bar hustling darts. Don't you think?

Jennifer Rainey 9:01
I don't know if he's hustling anymore. He's probably 90.

Scott Benner 9:05
Wow, that's insane.

Jennifer Rainey 9:07
It was very traumatizing. My dad was diabetic and my grandpa was diabetic. So I, I just went to my dad's doctor because I didn't get hospitalized them at all. pediatric. Didn't go to Children's Hospital, anything like that. They just said, Oh, you're diabetic and your family knows what to do. So go to his doctor.

Scott Benner 9:26
Wow, that I don't really know what to say about that. I know. You're not misremembering that or you have a childhood trauma that you've replaced with this memory. That really happened to you.

Jennifer Rainey 9:38
I mean, it's definitely childhood trauma, but I've done the therapy to work through

Scott Benner 9:42
it. Did he do anything? I mean, what are the other things he did that were sketchy that you recall?

Jennifer Rainey 9:49
I you know, that's the only thing that I remember. I just remember he was very grumpy and very, not kind. We did. We checked my blood sugar. Good goodness. All the time. My parents actually found an old blog from when I was really young, when they were downsizing their house. And so I kept that just as a oh my gosh, I stayed alive through that because I would have blood sugar's that were like 27. And then the next one is 400. And the next one was 30. And they just that and that was that seemed okay. Right? At least with this guy who thinks it's okay to chuck a needle in a kid. But sure, there was no like, you didn't go in there being told, like, well, you're really doing a bad job at this. No, no, he was not he was not a very kind endocrinologist. He told me I would never have kids. And that more than likely most diabetics die by the time they're 30 if they're diagnosed as young as me,

Scott Benner 10:41
wow, it was true. So he was treating it. Like a dog. He found the side of the street that he didn't love but didn't just like I'll feed it and leave it. Just let it roam in the yard. So die anyway. It's gonna die. Doesn't really matter. Yep. Oh, wow, that is terrible. I'm

Jennifer Rainey 10:58
so out to pasture. So so that's good.

Scott Benner 11:01
I'm really very sorry. That's not that's not a thing that should happen to anybody. Did you have that growing up that feeling like my life is fine, very finite. And I'm not going to make it as long as other people are, was your father was alive. So that must have given you some hope?

Jennifer Rainey 11:18
I did have that. So my I, I definitely struggled with that for Gosh, my teenagers, probably my dad passed away, actually, when I was 13. And my grandpa passed away when I was younger, both from diabetic complications. So it was a glaring, obvious signal in front of me that life could end because of diabetes at any moment. Both of them had serious complications.

Scott Benner 11:45
What this doctor said to you then, it felt like it was it was actually happening to the people around you.

Jennifer Rainey 11:51
Absolutely.

Scott Benner 11:52
How do you know how old your father was when he passed?

Jennifer Rainey 11:55
He was 49. And my grandfather was not far away from that either.

Scott Benner 12:01
Did you now going into your teen years? Did you live like you weren't going to make it?

Jennifer Rainey 12:09
I definitely was wild and reckless in all of the bad ways. Because why did it matter?

Scott Benner 12:18
Can you tell me how wild Are you afraid one day your children will grow up in here? This What? Oh, no. Like, what are you doing heroin while you were driving 120 miles an hour? Like what was it? Exactly?

Jennifer Rainey 12:28
Not quite heroin, so I was maybe a little a little less wild than that. But definitely drinking didn't. And I I don't know if I drink and drive. But I definitely drove drunk myself senseless quite a few times.

Scott Benner 12:41
Just because it felt like why I mean, I guess why not? Right?

Jennifer Rainey 12:45
Why not? I mean, it's, I don't care if my liver goes out because pancreas is always already tapped Anyway,

Scott Benner 12:51
I'll be dead anyway. It won't matter. Well, you have an upbeat story, don't you, Jennifer? Okay. Uh, oh, it's hard. By the way. I've been googling Daffy Duck and turkeys and I have no definitive answer. So we're gonna skip it.

Jennifer Rainey 13:02
Oh, there was an animal that was that was funnel fed.

Scott Benner 13:06
Right? Which also seems mean, but not as mean as what happened to you know, getting through high school and becoming, you know, like a young adult. Did you go to college or what you do after high school?

Jennifer Rainey 13:20
Yes. So, in high school actually was, I started seeing a pediatrician, pediatric endocrinologist who maybe like 12 1314 and finally got an insulin pump. So that was kind of life changing for me. I had like, what was it the original mini med med truck? I think it was just mini med back then that had like a swinging door on it. A hinge door that you put the insulin inside like a

Scott Benner 13:50
cassette player kind of a feeling?

Jennifer Rainey 13:52
Yes, yes. Very similar in it. I played soccer. So if you if you ran with it, sometimes this hinged door would fly open and then the insulin would go flying out to it was very interesting. Technology has come a long way.

Unknown Speaker 14:11
Life was such a good show, but it's better now. So that's good. It was like

Jennifer Rainey 14:16
it was a fun like it was fun and wild and I feel like my life is so boring now because it just doesn't have all of these wild adventures.

Scott Benner 14:25
Do you wish you're on the pod but just flip open like some of the circuit board would come flying out or something like that? Just remember this the good old days?

Jennifer Rainey 14:33
Yes, like if the batteries just shot out or something every now and then that'd be kind of nice. Well, listen,

Scott Benner 14:37
we're not near each other. But when the travel bans and all get lifted, I have plenty I could come throw some syringes at you if you think it would bring back good feeling. No,

Jennifer Rainey 14:45
you know, I'm good without that actually, I think I still struggle with needle phobia. I don't know what the technical term is for that. But I definitely appreciate Omni pod that it just shoots in with the click of a button. I loop so it's on my phone. But it's so nice to not have to do it myself. I just stick it on there and then I'm committed.

Scott Benner 15:09
Well, I agree but this was not about on the pot. This is just about me joking about the thing coming open anything.

Jennifer Rainey 15:15
What do you need yours? Got a pump? Yeah, went to college. I took better care of myself. I had a Wednesday's typically in the seven, eight nines would get grabbed out if it was eight, nine and then bring it back down to a seven again. And then went to college did did right, got chewed out by my adult endocrinologist because I always complained about the price of any fluid. And he said, Well, you have purple and pea care. So I think you're spending quite a bit of money on that, too.

Scott Benner 15:50
That you said, Wow, insulin is expensive. And he said, what about this hair dye situation? All the money you're sinking into it? Yes. Did you say, hey, my hair might be purple and pink. But there's a really good reason for that. I grew up with an endocrinologist telling me I was going to drop that then my dad and my grandfather drop it and the guy threw needles at me. And then my pump flew open and my stuff ran across the soccer field. So you're lucky All I did was dye my hair.

Jennifer Rainey 16:15
Like I get my blood sugar in five seconds. Now I've shaved 50 seconds off of that just by staying alive.

Scott Benner 16:21
Alright, okay, listen. When did your life become decent?

Jennifer Rainey 16:29
Now, it's just I invite the crazy end. So instead of my life being crazy, I invite the crazy and, um, I let me see I got married to a not so kind person, had a kid got a divorce. And then a few years back, I met my husband. And our life is pretty boring now.

Scott Benner 16:52
That's good. Thanks, good. Boys. Good. It's

Jennifer Rainey 16:54
predictable. It's easy for diabetes. For sure. It's

Scott Benner 16:57
nice to keep your blood sugar when you don't you when you know dinners at 630 every night, it's very much easier to handle yourself.

Jennifer Rainey 17:03
Absolutely. Dan, he cooks everything for me.

Unknown Speaker 17:06
Does he really?

Jennifer Rainey 17:08
He really does. And he's a phenomenal chef. And he leaves the carb counts out on the counter. If he's using like a new product or pasta or something like that.

Scott Benner 17:19
It's lovely. That do you choose? You don't have children together? Is that really

Jennifer Rainey 17:24
not? We are foster parents. So we have my biological son, his stepson. But he's been in his life since he was nine months old. And then we foster different kiddos. We've been doing that for about a year and a half, almost two years now.

Scott Benner 17:44
Right. Now, is this when we tell people we've met each other? Sure. Oh, yes. Jennifer, I met when I was in Dallas speaking Is that right? Yes. Yes. And I very briefly met your foster son. How's he doing?

Jennifer Rainey 17:59
He is about to go home actually this week. Really? Yes, he is. Done big huge changes a once he was like above 14 and is now I believe ran out 6.9 to seven. That's he's wearing a dex calm now, which is super cool. He was anti anything that looked like he could have, you know, diabetes, and now he's wearing Dexcom and proud of it and taking selfies with the shirt off with the Dexcom showing

Scott Benner 18:25
good for him when we met that day. How long had he been with you?

Jennifer Rainey 18:29
Three days, that was a really bad decision on

my part,

Scott Benner 18:32
bringing him to that event. He looks very unhappy in case you're wondering.

Jennifer Rainey 18:36
Very, very, very unhappy with me.

Scott Benner 18:38
Yeah. She's like, Hi, this is it. I'm start talking about this kid doesn't care at all about this conversation.

Jennifer Rainey 18:45
No, no, no, no. He's come a long way and has met some diabetic friends now too. And just living with somebody else I think has helped him see. See how to better care for himself.

Scott Benner 18:55
How long was he with you and or Willie have been with you? almost three months. And so was he with you? Because of his his a one C and his care?

Jennifer Rainey 19:07
Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes, he was not being super honest with his taking care of his medicine or just not taking insulin and saying that he was and it resulted in for decades and six months.

Scott Benner 19:23
Now, does he go back to his parents?

Jennifer Rainey 19:25
Yes, yes. And I work with them and talk with them often. And we're part of their support system. And we just got him like an apple watch so that he can sees Dexcom on his phone or on his watch and they follow his Dexcom from home and then we follow it and they we've been asked to continue to follow it just to to help with that accountability.

Scott Benner 19:48
Well, you're a lovely person. That's really that's really nice. Maybe throwing a dozen people makes them nice.

Jennifer Rainey 19:55
I try I try to like, you know, take all the bad crap and then turn it into, like I'm just gonna be nice. For people,

Scott Benner 20:01
what's really amazing, I mean, honestly, to take the time, and the effort, I'm assuming the cost to just take a person you don't know and change their life like that. It's, that's really wonderful. That's a gift that, you know, he'll keep forever and you know, won't be running around with incredibly high one season. Not by the way, he's not the first kid that I've met at one of those events where, you know, DK seems to be the level of care, right? Just ignore, ignore, ignore DK go to the hospital start over again. You know, by the fifth time I heard that story from people, I thought, wow, I'm not going to stop hearing those stories. When I come to these things. Get it? You know, like, this is really what happens to a lot of folks. So

Jennifer Rainey 20:42
yeah, in a No, I've told him and I've shared my story with his parents and with others and different support groups that I was not far away from that as a teen. I had an insulin pump. So it gave me background insulin, and I would eat a honeybun Actually, my, my lunch was typically like a package of Reese's, and maybe some chips or something like that. And I would sometimes take medicine for it, and sometimes not. So it's just kind of what it was. Or I would remember, you know, two hours later, Oh, I should have taken medicine for that and just get myself a unit or two to see what happens. What

Scott Benner 21:17
do you think causes that? Is it just expectation that this is what it is? Like? Ah,

Jennifer Rainey 21:24
I think it's a lot of it. It's a defiance, obviously, your team, and it seems to typically happen in that like 15 to 25 year range. I think it's feeling that invincibility also that teens typically have. And then also the awkwardness of not wanting to stand out not wanting to be different. So you just kind of hide it. And then burnout and distress and parents jumping all over you. I was just talking with a parent. Yesterday, actually, I'm going to talk with his daughter this afternoon. But just when it going in from a place where we're not judging. You know, if you didn't test your blood sugar in a month, Okay, how about we just test it once today, and maybe once tomorrow, but it's just trying to start something little just noticeable difference instead of, you know, chewing somebody out because they haven't just checked their blood sugar in a month?

Scott Benner 22:22
Do you think that people get that way? Because it gets to that point, because that's how it starts. And then it becomes normal? Do you feel like a person in that scenario? If you were with them back at the very beginning? Wouldn't have the same feelings about testing? Or do you think they like? What's your opinion about that? Is it? Is it a learned behavior? Or is it just gonna happen to some people?

Jennifer Rainey 22:48
I think it like waxes and wanes. I think even now, as an adult, I'm 33. And I still go through phases of diabetes, distress and frustration and not wanting to do anything. I just have a little bit more, I don't know, grit in the game now and want to stay alive for as long as possible, where I really didn't care when I was 15 or 20.

Scott Benner 23:12
Well, that's lovely. It's nice to hear somebody say I have a reason to be alive. I mean, honestly, it's just, you know, that in the end, that's really sort of what we're all doing. You know, if you've never reason to be alive, they're, you know, working socks, and I mean, the Coronavirus just taught us all that now that we're home, you know, aside of the money, you're just like, wow, way better.

Jennifer Rainey 23:32
Yeah. My dad, I mean, I hate to say it, but he was a great example of what not to do. He didn't care for himself when he was younger and had horrible complications. When he was older. He had his, his blind, legally blind in his 30s had a leg amputated was about to have another one was on dialysis, all of those things that are, you know, scary and threats that other diabetics don't like to hear. And I'm like, yeah, that's, I think it's real life. And to me, it's not. It's not a horrible threat. I think it's a very real possibility. And it's a great example for me of what not to do.

Scott Benner 24:06
And his father was in a similar situation.

Jennifer Rainey 24:09
The other one was my my mom's father. Oh, yes.

Scott Benner 24:13
mother's father had type one. Your father? Yes. You are definitely getting diabetes.

Jennifer Rainey 24:17
Yes. That's what he said. I had like the double whammy.

Scott Benner 24:20
Yeah. Oh, I see.

Jennifer Rainey 24:21
So you have a brother. That's also type one. And I had a sister who had gestational, and then another brother who has type two.

Scott Benner 24:30
So everybody's getting diabetes.

Unknown Speaker 24:31
There's everybody in here.

Scott Benner 24:32
Yeah. It's like a family tradition.

Jennifer Rainey 24:34
Yeah, it's fine. actually really test your blood sugars or screenshot really bad things, bad blood sugars and high blood sugars and send them to each other. I was

Scott Benner 24:42
gonna say, Do you and your siblings have some sort of a support system together around diabetes?

Jennifer Rainey 24:48
Not really, I think I have a better support system with my friends and that I've met with diabetics or that are diabetics. But I do wish I had No more from my family members. My sister is a nurse though. So that's really helpful. She has kind of saved me and broken into my apartment when I was younger and took me to the hospital a couple of weeks. So she just gets that she knows that

Unknown Speaker 25:14
your life is a movie.

Jennifer Rainey 25:17
You know, she thought I was drunk. But I wasn't drunk. I was just low blood sugar. I had been asleep for like, I don't know, 20 hours. And she thought I was just drunk and was ignoring her. So she came over and really, I was just low and belligerent. So,

Unknown Speaker 25:30
okay,

Jennifer Rainey 25:32
was fun. And embarrassing. embarrassing. Apparently, apparently, I sounded like a drunk. That's the thing is like, I was yelling and like saying very inappropriate comments. And she was like, all right, you are not going to drink this juice. So we're gonna go to the hospital and they gave me some glucose through an IV and I was better and completely embarrassed.

Scott Benner 25:52
Okay, did you like us? Like, say things like the Cowboys don't suck, because that's the thing. A person who's not making

Jennifer Rainey 25:58
sense would say, I would never say that would never say even drunken delirious.

Scott Benner 26:08
Okay, now, the reason you're on the show is Yeah, not any of that. But how do we ignore all of that? I can't just bring you on and be like, hey, there's a topic here. Because Sure, then we wouldn't have found out how absolutely crazy your life. It's wonderful of you to share. Okay, so you, I think originally reached out after hearing Samantha's she's having a baby episodes. Yes. Okay.

Jennifer Rainey 26:38
So I heard her first one where she talked about her, I guess it was a miscarriage, and then diagnosis all at the same time.

Scott Benner 26:47
And then you were like, hey, I've had problems like that, too. I'd be willing to share. That's like, great. I get the most upbeat notes here at the at the podcast headquarters, which by the way, is a desk where I yeah. But so you've obviously had a child with your, with your, your first marriage that went okay.

Jennifer Rainey 27:10
Yes, well, we're alive. So that's okay. To me. I had what was called help syndrome. So through the whole pregnancy, and my agency was, it was broken, I was under six, the entire time, like 5.4 5.5 5.7, most of the time, I found out I was pregnant, unexpectedly, and kind of just stuck to it. I'm on management and control. And that was doing excellent. I had my baby shower. And then the next day, I was 34 weeks, and the next day I passed out at work.

Scott Benner 27:54
Well, if you didn't see an ad coming when someone said they were really pregnant, and past that at work, you haven't been listening to this podcast for very long. I love a cliffhanger. Here's something you won't have to wonder about. If I go to Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. Am I getting a gold standard in the industry for blood glucose meters? And the answer there is simply Yes, the Contour Next One blood glucose meter is simply the best, most accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter that I've ever used for my daughter. And it's much simpler for her to carry and use than anything else she's ever tried. Contour Next One comm forward slash juice box, there's a lot going on there. You may be eligible for a free meter, you have to check to see there's tester program that could help you get more affordable test strips, there's links to their apps that link to the meter for Android and iPhone. There's everything that you need. And I find this to be a simple thing to do. Because we get blood glucose meters a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, we just get used to them. But the truth is you don't have to live with your old Genki meter that may or may not be accurate. Doesn't have to be like that. Because the Contour Next One is next level accurate and very inexpensive. As a matter of fact, it could be cheaper to buy cash than it would even be through your insurance. That's how inexpensive it is. But whether you get it through your insurance or out of pocket, what you want is an easy to use brightly lit easy to read meter that gives you great results and by great I mean accurate and by results I mean your blood sugar and the Contour Next One will even allow Second Chance testing meaning if you go in with a test trip get some blood but not enough you can go back and get more without ruining the test trip. Contour Next One calm for its slash juice box. I just need to tell you one last thing. g Volk hypo pen has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is Jeeva hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about, all you have to do is go to G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. g Vogue shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit g Vogue glucagon.com slash brisk last thing, don't forget to check out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player and at Juicebox podcast.com. If I haven't said them so many times that they're stuck in your head. Alright, back to Jennifer story. Remember, she's 34 weeks pregnant, she's at work and she just passed out

Jennifer Rainey 31:09
which was a little strange. And then I started getting really queasy. And when I came to I was not feeling so well. So my boss actually called my mom to come pick me up because she was my emergency contact. And I ended up in the hospital on a Monday and then had my son that Thursday because I had what's called help syndrome. So it's a kind of severe low platelets, elevated liver enzymes, some of my body my organs started to shut down. And basically it was all because the baby inside me needed to come out that was the only way to to make it better

Scott Benner 31:52
help he LLP syndrome.

Jennifer Rainey 31:54
H e. l

Scott Benner 31:58
have high blood pressure during pregnancy. his liver enzymes low platelet count syndrome usually develops before the 37th week of pregnancy but can occur shortly after delivery. Many women are diagnosed with preeclampsia beforehand. Symptoms include nausea, headache, belly pain, swelling, treatment usually requires the delivery of the baby. Very rare. Ooh,

Jennifer Rainey 32:21
it was a fun rare thing. They didn't think I had it because I didn't have that high blood pressure, my blood pressure through my entire pregnancy was actually really, really low. And so it was always like, what is 80s over 50s aids over 60 sometimes 70 over 50s. And so when I went to the hospital, they didn't think I had it because my blood pressure then was like 100 over 17. And then it got up to 120 over 18 you have to

Scott Benner 32:55
know that when you Google it, it comes up as very rare 20,000 cases a year, which then made me Google type one diabetes, which is rare, saying fewer than 200,000 cases a year. Have Yes. Has anything ever good happen. Where the odds weren't in your favor, like like a lottery or do you ever win a bingo or anything?

Jennifer Rainey 33:17
Not really winning? Um, I like to like see that like staying alive is like really good thing.

Scott Benner 33:24
Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Do you have any other diseases that we haven't spoken about yet?

Jennifer Rainey 33:28
Um, I do have pcls, which is polycystic ovarian syndrome. It kind of comes hand in hand sometimes with with diabetes. Well, that's

Scott Benner 33:37
common, at least Good for you.

Unknown Speaker 33:39
Yes. Yes.

Scott Benner 33:41
Although essentially says common more than 200,000 cases a year. How can come and be more than 200,000? All right, nevermind. We're

Jennifer Rainey 33:48
just running around all over the place with little cystic ovaries.

Scott Benner 33:54
Oh, wait a minute. polycystic ovary syndrome is a hormonal disorder common among young women reproductive age may have infrequent or prolonged menstruation periods or excessive hormone levels. The ovaries may develop numerous small collections of fluid and fail to regularly release eggs. does that have anything to do with the reason you're on the show? Or no?

Jennifer Rainey 34:16
it? It does not. So what well, maybe a little bit. We tried for a while and just nothing was happening. Um, we decided go see a doctor and see what we can figure out. Ah, so

Scott Benner 34:32
you and your current husband, which doesn't? I don't like the way that sounds it makes it feel like you're 17 husbands and like, like a guy you've landed on today, Jennifer, which is not what I'm saying. But you and you're

Unknown Speaker 34:45
stuck around

Scott Benner 34:46
a guy who was like, Alright, whatever she lets me cook. I enjoy it. So.

Unknown Speaker 34:51
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 34:52
But But how long ago did you and your husband tried to have a baby. Um,

Jennifer Rainey 34:57
so we have been fostering for quite a while. And it's it's kind of been one of those things that we came into marriage, knowing or discussing that having children was not going to be an option for us because I, my first son, I had so many complications and had the help syndrome. I ended up having to have platelets and blood transfusions to stay alive and was in a coma for a little bit after my son was born. So that was just a really bad experience. It was like all of the things that moms dream about. It's the opposite of those.

Scott Benner 35:30
You don't have a photo of you with a car carrier outside the front door when you got home or anything like that. No, I

Jennifer Rainey 35:36
was super jaundiced, and yellow and gross. I actually hate all of our likes first photos together because I look like a yellow blob. And the first time I saw him, I was FaceTime where, because he was in the queue and I was in ICU. He wouldn't let me leave.

Scott Benner 35:53
How old is he now?

Jennifer Rainey 35:55
He's almost seven. He's six. He's six and three quarters. That's very important age.

Scott Benner 36:00
Oh, yeah, I've heard about that. Okay, all right. So But recently, did you did you try to have a baby or did it just happened where, you know, the winds or something. And then

Jennifer Rainey 36:19
we went to the doctor to get some kind of clearances first, because I didn't want to go into it. completely blind. And I knew that I'm at higher risk for just basically everything because of diabetes. And and so we went to the doctor first to apologize, I'm going to move to a different room so that I'm a little bit further away from the kiddos. We went to the doctor first just to get some, you know, know kind of clarity that everything was going to be okay. And I'm not just immediately walking into a death sentence.

Scott Benner 36:52
Okay. Yeah, well, I mean, a lot went wrong. So the concern really has to be that your life could be in danger again, I imagine, right?

Jennifer Rainey 37:00
Yes, yes. And my family takes it very, very seriously. Even when my husband and I started dating, that was like, a first conversation for them was are you comfortable? Not having a kid of your own? Is that something that that you can be okay with? And and he knew that, you know, from the very beginning. So we just wanted to make sure we were wise with that. Because obviously I wouldn't want to risk my life and, and never get to see existing son ever again.

Scott Benner 37:26
Sure. So Seriously, this is like a first day come like he came to the door. And they're like, Hi, you're here to pick up Jennifer. And they're like, he's like, Yes, I am. It's like, you know, you can't get her pregnant, right?

Jennifer Rainey 37:35
Yep. Yep. Literally, when they when they the day they first met him. That was a conversation on the grill, and he's really stuck around.

Scott Benner 37:45
I was gonna say once that guy calls you back, you got to figure he likes me.

Unknown Speaker 37:49
Yeah, yeah, I

Jennifer Rainey 37:50
was like, I'd done just give me a ring and let's just get married. He's not going anywhere.

Scott Benner 37:55
Yeah, this guy's ID. I definitely know. I mean, honestly, I don't know what I would do in a scenario like that. If somebody is like, Hi, it's nice to meet you. You know, you can't get my daughter pregnant. Right. And I was like, I wasn't planning on doing it today. So I didn't he say no, that's not what I mean. You know? Yes, I just mean ever well, but then did your health just so kind of normalize and your that you thought, well, maybe I'm a different person with diabetes than I was in the past. And I'm going to go for this but you had a great day one see during your pregnancy the first time?

Jennifer Rainey 38:25
Yes, I did have a great day Wednesday during my pregnancy, afterwards, you know, obviously, single mom trying to get life together, my agency maybe went up to like the sevens like seven 475 which is not horrible at all. But it was it was higher for me. And then since my husband and I have had our, our sweet and normal, boring life. It's been in the sixes almost consistently, probably for, I don't know, the past five years. And we've just between like 5.6 and six for the past for a long while, and I just figured I'm more healthy than I've ever been. I also work out consistently now. Which I do it because it keeps my cholesterol low so I don't have to take cholesterol medicine. And then I don't know we just kind of started talking about it. We had a little kiddo who was with us? Who was just if we had the opportunity to adopt him we would have immediately he's just a fun kiddo. And it kind of made us start thinking of like do we do we want to do this? Do we want to change our course from fostering only and supporting reunification to to adopting or do we want to give it a try ourselves and we decided to give it a try ourselves because I didn't want to change our our motive on fostering and supporting families.

Scott Benner 39:53
Right. Okay, so you were considering even if we have a baby of our own we're gonna continue to do that. The foster

Jennifer Rainey 39:59
Yes, yeah. It's been something I wanted to do since I was a kid.

Scott Benner 40:02
Yeah. Why would imagine you would like to try to help some people who can't get help? Because I feel like you, you were probably a person who was not being helped very much, right?

Jennifer Rainey 40:12
Yeah, it was just yeah, it was just a different life and had some wild and crazy that went on in my life. And and I think, if I can, I don't know, do something good. We have an extra room in our house, why not? fill it up with somebody who needs a safe place to live?

Scott Benner 40:26
That's wonderful. I have a question going backwards a little bit. Yeah, talk for a minute would take a little detour. I'm really, you know, I'm not teasing out what happened to on purpose. I'm just following Association. But what is it like to be a, an adult with type one and taking care of children like so you know, there's plenty of times on here where people talk about what it's like to be the parent taking care of a child, but never really asked an adult type one. Where are the concessions that you make? Big? Because Yeah, assuming time and focus and energy, right, like, how does it

Jennifer Rainey 40:59
great question. Oh, I I like this one, because I think it is something that nobody really talks about? Um, I think, for me, I think I struggle sometimes with guilt. Because my son, who is an awesome kiddo has had to know like, Hey, mom needs a juice box. Or if I'm crying, and I'm super low, or if I'm grumpy, and I'm super low. And I say my blood sugar's low, he knows to just like back off for a little bit, because mom's not our best self. And I kind of hate that, that he has to know that and like, that's, to me, that's embarrassing. And it's something that he has to deal with that nobody else. I mean, there's sure there are other kids with parents who are diabetics, but he doesn't get it because he doesn't have diabetes. He does have low blood sugars, though. So he does get the grumpiness

and things like that?

Scott Benner 41:55
Well, how do you get that? Like, I know people get low when they have diabetes. I'm obviously not saying that. But is there a, it's funny, because you said it was about guilt. And I thought, I thought of what I see my wife go through sometimes, like, for instance, when my kids want to do something with her, but she's working from home, that she needs to get the work done. But I can see her feeling badly about not doing something with them. And I thought, yeah, that's what popped in my head. Like there's a trade off between the amount of time you spend on your diabetes, like how much would you spend on it? If you were single by yourself? And how many times have you let yourself get a little too high or a little too low? or not, you know, Chapter whatever you needed to do, because you were giving your time over to somebody else does that happen? Sure, sure.

Jennifer Rainey 42:39
Um, I would say, I've gotten a lot better at that. Just pausing. pausing to take care of myself. In trying, I've worked really hard through therapy and through just different groups that have been a part of to, to just give myself that time and to not be ashamed or embarrassed or to, you know, to not let it go and go out and not take care of it. But I do know that that means I'm taking time away from other people or even you know, sitting down at a meal, and we're all about to start eating. And then I'm like, Oh, I need a bolus real fast. Oh, my gosh, it stopped the conversation or something like that, or I'm not in the conversation. I'm not paying attention to the conversation, because I'm counting up some carbs real fast. Yeah,

Scott Benner 43:27
no, it's just, you know, I don't think that, uh, oh, no, we probably need to talk to more people who are adults and, you know, have that time poll where there's so many things yakking at them and you know, you're married, you have a son, you're fostering kids, you know, you're talking to that foster kids family and trying to help them be better prepared for him. You have a job? You know, that's a lot of stuff. Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 43:51
I work in public health, too. So that's been crazy, because I am a communicator in all of this Coronavirus stuff.

Scott Benner 43:58
How can you tell me like high level? What is it you do?

Jennifer Rainey 44:01
Sure, I'm a public information officer for our local health department for our county. So I send out press releases every single day for the new cases, recoveries, deaths, anything pertinent to that in and do used to do all of our social media, but I have a team now of some others that have been kind of rerouted to communication so that they can help and assist with some of our Social Media Communications right now.

Scott Benner 44:27
Wow, that's cool. So this goes out to the public, or do you communicate with other states and counties? Or how does that all work?

Jennifer Rainey 44:35
All of the above. So it goes out to the public through social media, and then I also communicate with our media partners. So I'm kind of the PR media liaison, and then also with IGR. So Intergovernmental Relations, talking to our local cities and towns that are within our county, just to communicate with them about what's going on about any risks associated with their communities. And it makes sure they're in the loop too, because they don't even want As a mayor,

Scott Benner 45:03
how do you how do you get? Do you also get incoming information from your counterparts in other places?

Jennifer Rainey 45:08
Yes, yeah. So a lot of times, I'll get kind of information on the download, hey, we're about to make this change. Or we're about to make this, you know, now that we're all at stay at home orders and things like that. We're about to do this. What do you guys feel about that?

Scott Benner 45:21
Yeah, I would have guessed, especially in this moment, you can't have somebody on one side of a line on a map, say, we're not gonna let people I don't know, drive after 10pm. And then, you know, you say, well, we're not doing that. Because, you know, or, you know, one place can't close a bar in another place doesn't because I'll just drive to the place that doesn't you kind of have to be together on that. I would imagine to make it work, right. Yes. Gotcha. Wow, that's kind of crazy. Okay. So you and your husband, you go to the doctor, you do the work, you've you know, your everything seems good for you to get pregnant. Did you get pregnant on purpose? Or did you go with the like, let's just see what happens method.

Jennifer Rainey 46:01
Sure. So we did goodness, I met with my endocrinologist. Last summer, met with a maternal fetal medicine specialist, who is the same doctor who saw me in the hospital, and had diagnosed me with help syndrome before. So I, I sought her out and went and saw her and just kind of got some guidance in percentages, which was always nerve racking to say, ah, you've got a 30 or a 40, or 50% chances that coming back, she had us meet with a reproductive endocrinologist as well. Just to check on bloodwork to make sure we're not at risk for any What do they call them? fetal abnormalities, I

Scott Benner 46:45
think.

Jennifer Rainey 46:47
And everything was looking good. Other than the risk of health syndrome returning was like a 30 to 40%. She said, you could flip a coin and have it or you could flip a coin and not, but because we were going into it with that awareness. We'd be monitoring, you know, blood pressure every day and probably doing a lot more. What is it? 24 hour urine catches and things like that. to just stay on top of everything,

Scott Benner 47:12
all those fun things?

Jennifer Rainey 47:13
all the fun stuff,

Scott Benner 47:14
right? You decided like it was, was it? I guess I want to know like when the decisions made it feel risky?

Jennifer Rainey 47:22
Oh, absolutely. Yes. It even just thinking about it. Like, do we do this? Do we not? I don't know. We're, we're Christians believe in God. So it was definitely giving it over to some prayer and just asking him to, if it's what he wanted for us to let it happen. And if it's not, then don't kill me.

Scott Benner 47:49
Listen, Jesus, I just want to have a short conversation with you here. I'm gonna leave that do I get pregnant thing up to you. But one way or the other? If I'm doing the wrong thing. Please don't kill me to have a prayer.

Jennifer Rainey 48:02
I don't want to die. But like, shut it down. If it's not what you want.

Scott Benner 48:06
Somebody say something. Just a little wave of a hand. Hey, say that vase fell off the countertop right now. I would take that as a no just yeah. Anyway.

Jennifer Rainey 48:17
Like, I need something like wasn't funny ran across the road. But no, I

Unknown Speaker 48:21
don't know. Anything.

Jennifer Rainey 48:23
I'm, I'm such like a horrible, not a horrible believer. That's a really bad thing. But I'm such a horrible like, I need a glaring, like obvious sign because everything random happens in my life. And I was like, was that God? Or was that just like, Cool?

Unknown Speaker 48:35
I don't know.

Scott Benner 48:38
He'd like a guy in a beard. holding a sign in front of your house just says like,

Jennifer Rainey 48:44
can you please be in a Jesus costume and tell me no, don't have a baby.

Scott Benner 48:49
Well, since that didn't happen, you got knocked up, right?

Unknown Speaker 48:53
I did.

Jennifer Rainey 48:54
We had restarted trying that last fall. Um, and everything was like going really well. My body was working somewhat normally pcls wasn't wasn't causing too many issues. And hey, we started trying in the fall. And I thought I got pregnant. And I thought I got pregnant, but I never tested positive. I'm in November. So that was kind of strange. It was a weird like, I had all the symptoms and everything was just super wonky. And my blood sugar's were super low. And I just thought like, this is really strange, but I tested it tested it tested and I had a late period and it was like two weeks late, and I was like, that's super strange, but I never had a positive test. So

Scott Benner 49:50
do you know how babies are made? Do you need me to tell you or your Okay, yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 49:54
I know actually, I've had a lot of practice,

Scott Benner 49:57
okay, because boys have a penis and girls have a vagina and they Then when they love each other, I can explain what happens next. But I mean, you get it.

Jennifer Rainey 50:04
I get it. I've had quite a few conversations with teams.

Scott Benner 50:08
No, I think I understand. I understand what you mean. So it looked like you were pregnant. You just weren't.

Jennifer Rainey 50:13
Yeah, right. Everything in everything was pointing that way. And so I just thought it was a weird fluke, or that my PCs had had caused something to be off where there was a hormone surge or a lack of hormones or something like that. So we went to the doctor, I went to the doctor, actually, in the end of November, beginning of December, and she had ordered a couple of different medicines for me to try. But I kept going back and forth again on that, like, I don't know, God, is you because it's me? Do you want me to do this? Or like, Do I not do this? So I just kind of kept wavering back and forth on on trying the medicine or not doing different things, there was one that was going to be used off label. And it's, it's like now trek zone, which is used for people with addictions. And, and so I was very, like, kind of wigged out by it. It's like, I don't know if I want naltrexone in my system. I don't I don't know about all this.

Unknown Speaker 51:19
Now traxon.

Jennifer Rainey 51:20
Now, Trek's own I think

Scott Benner 51:24
that's interesting can read it can help prevent relapses in alcohol or drug abuse?

Jennifer Rainey 51:29
Yes. Yes. So if you take it super, super low dose, it can also help with with inflammation, which she said would would be it would also calm down the pcls, I guess.

Unknown Speaker 51:47
Wow. Um,

Jennifer Rainey 51:48
so I had to get it from like a pharmacy in Colorado and have to be compounded into smaller like doses because I'm not taking it in the normal fashion, which is used to help with? Did

Scott Benner 51:59
you have to call the pharmacy by phone and disguise your voice where you like,

Jennifer Rainey 52:05
you have to pay over the phone and like, call them and that was so strange to me.

Scott Benner 52:09
Yeah, that's it. They couldn't do that. In text. That's interesting. I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole. Anyway, you in the view in the mister get bang in every which way and eventually, yay, pregnant, right?

Jennifer Rainey 52:22
Yes, yes, that happened. I'm the beginning of January, I found out that I was pregnant. And that was super exciting. We didn't expect it. We didn't anticipate it. We had actually like said hey, let's just put it on hold because we found out my employer didn't have What do you call it that leave like to brew disability? Okay, so we had FMLA. But we didn't have temporary disability. So I set that all up through like an outside Insurance Agency, but we had to wait a month to try again. So we were like, Okay, well, we'll just wait till February.

Scott Benner 52:59
I'm thinking about all the effort you put into this. Some people just climb into the backseat of a car after a movie. And it just I know, right?

Jennifer Rainey 53:07
I know we've I mean, we foster kiddos that are like how these people just keep popping out the kiddos and

Scott Benner 53:14
just, it's just not the same you listen, you have very good reasons to pay attention. But you know, not here there. So were you like getting your blood sugar. Like, even better, like in the late like, during this time? Because you're you have a great day one scene now but they want you like under six for pregnancy, right?

Jennifer Rainey 53:33
Yes. And I've been no higher than then 6.4 for the past two or three years. But most of Gosh, for at that point, I was like 5.6 5.7 and today are the most recent one I've had now was 5.7 as well.

Unknown Speaker 53:51
That's excellent. So

Jennifer Rainey 53:52
I just kind of hanging out there. I started looping back in August, and that really just made it a lot easier to hang out. So

Scott Benner 54:01
excellent. The algorithm is just, it's pretty darn helpful.

Jennifer Rainey 54:05
Yeah, yeah, it's just a lot less to like think about it and be able to, to breathe just a little bit more. And that was what gave me a lot more competence to try to get pregnant. My endocrinologist is like, well, you would be my first pregnant looper. So let's just make sure we're on the same page as we go into this because you're in FM he knew my mfn my the specialist. And then my CD at the endocrinologist also is a looper so well. kinda have a great team on board now.

Scott Benner 54:34
That's excellent. Good for you. I guess I we should say this this pregnancy did not end the way you were hoping.

Jennifer Rainey 54:41
Correct? How

Scott Benner 54:42
long were you pregnant?

Jennifer Rainey 54:44
I saw I found out we think I found out earlier um, then maybe I should have I was only pregnant for they think about seven to eight weeks now. It it kind of Got a little sticky. I found out at the very beginning of January that I was pregnant. And I've lost the pregnancy. Whoo. Middle of middle of February, I think. And it didn't go. I knew I was pregnant super super early because my blood sugar's just plummeted. Loop was doing loop and doing amazing but I was taking zero insulin for like three days in a row. And I was chugging juice boxes like I was tired of juice boxes because I was I was in the 50s and 60s non stop and Lupo had backed off of all of my insulin,

Scott Benner 55:39
you just said something. Hold on a second. That's really helpful. So once you were pregnant, I'm actually making a note check. You needed less insulin by a lot. And there are four days prior to Arden's period coming, or she needs no insulin. I wonder what hormone if the if any overlaps in those two scenarios, I'm going to find out. Because that's a that's the first time that somebody said something that's made that click in my head. So I'm sorry, I gotta ask you. How were you pregnant when we met? I don't remember when I was in Dallas.

Jennifer Rainey 56:22
Um, I

know, you know what? No, because our our kiddo had just joined our household and we said yes to Him a few weeks after. After losing our baby.

Scott Benner 56:37
Yeah. Okay. So was it? What What did they end up telling you? It happened?

Jennifer Rainey 56:43
So it was it's a weird thing. And it's, again, again, is there more medical anomalies that only happened to me? Um, I had what they said, originally, they said was an ectopic pregnancy, which means that the baby was growing in one of the tubes, the fallopian tubes instead of growing in my uterus, which was terrifying. I woke up and I thought I was miscarrying one morning. Because just all of the graphic and gory but there was a whole bunch of blood and I would started sobbing. And I went to the doctor that same day, they got me in and they did, like 45 minutes of sonograms, which is never a good sign. And then she went in got the doctor. I guess this sonogram art artist, what do they call it? sonogram technician?

Scott Benner 57:35
Some people who do avant garde sonogram some people who do more traditional,

Jennifer Rainey 57:40
maybe not the right word, I'm

Scott Benner 57:42
pretty sure it's not but

Jennifer Rainey 57:45
it was like this is free to color growing.

Scott Benner 57:49
By the way is a strong possibility. This episode is gonna be called avant garde sonograms.

Jennifer Rainey 57:56
Oh, funny,

I guess more funny and also related as mine did look very strange and very unique. I've seen quite a bit of sonograms, because with my first son, I had basically a bajillion of them. I was getting them every week, just to make sure everything was going well with him. So I had a different doctor and and they were very, very proactive on sonograms originally. And so this one definitely looked different. I knew what a fetal pole was supposed to look like in inside my uterus, and that was definitely not there. So they were digging around and doing quite a bit of sonograms. And she went got the doctor. And then they said, All right, get dressed in and come into this other office. So the doctor originally said that it was a ectopic pregnancy, so it was going in the wrong place. But she said because of the reason that I called in because I had been bleeding a lot, there was a hope that I would be losing the pregnancy so that we wouldn't have to terminate it itself. Which is really, really hard. For me, that was something that I've always struggled with my belief system. And those are things that were just a really, really difficult place for me to be in learning that we might need to terminate because it was growing in a place that would that would cause me to hemorrhage if it ruptured.

Scott Benner 59:23
Yeah. What ended up happening did did it sort of unnaturally or did you have to intervene?

Jennifer Rainey 59:29
It did. So we had to do bloodwork every other day, and they were monitoring the HCG to see if it was dropping or rising. And it dropped significantly the first 48 hours which was a good sign. And then she said it flattened again because that can come sometimes can happen in ectopic miscarriages. Where ectopic pregnancies is your body doesn't know if it's pregnant or not. So it kind of gives you some hormones and then takes them away and so we waited Because I would have to take a trigger shot to help to help dissolve it. And we did. Gosh, we did bloodwork Monday, Wednesday and then Friday, and we just kept doing sonograms to to see what was going on. And the next one, they weren't able to find a fetal pole. In the blood flow that was going into where the the SAC was. They weren't able to find anything there. There wasn't as much blood flow going inside, which was they said was a good sign because it meant my body wasn't like feeding it so it wouldn't continue to grow.

Scott Benner 1:00:35
Right? That's just an indication that it's that it is going wrong and will just end up on its own at some point. Gotcha.

Jennifer Rainey 1:00:44
Yes. And it was in a really unique place. So it wasn't technically in the tube, it was in the opening of my uterus. And the doctor had said, you know, like, if it was one centimeter further into your uterus, like we would be completely fine. So that kind of sucked a lot. Because I had all of the full symptoms of pregnancy I had the nausea was crazy. All of this stuff was happening. I was we walked into a restaurant and I could smell the bleach that they were using in the bathroom and I was getting nauseous and had to run out of the restroom. The restaurant.

Scott Benner 1:01:17
Oh my god, I don't know what this you're poor. Listen, women. I feel bad for you. I seriously do because so much stuff happens to you guys like day to day, week to week, month to month, that it's just terrible. My wife will walk in the door, you know, at 6pm. And she can't even get it. She's like, what is that? I'm like, wait, what was there's an old apple in the bottom of the trashcan? Eight hours ago, but I took it outside. It's not it's not it's not like Oh, Jesus. What that turns into like a, like a like a hound dog out of nowhere. She could just smell anything anywhere. It's fascinating. It really is. I'm

Jennifer Rainey 1:01:56
glad I'm not alone in that my husband thinks it's so strange because I could I Can I smell things from very far away. And I'm like, Oh, what is that that you're making? Or if it smells delicious, I can smell it as I pull my car into the garage before I've even gone into the house.

Scott Benner 1:02:09
Yeah, tell him it gets more irritating after like, 25 years. You're just like, I know something smells somewhere. Let's go figure out what it is. You know?

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:17
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 1:02:18
Because she can't get off of it either. By the way, what happened? She's just like, we have to do something about that. I'm like, about what, okay.

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:25
It's in your nose. It's there.

Scott Benner 1:02:28
I'm serious. And then you know, we find out a kid like one of the kids threw a banana way upstairs. Just like alright, I found the banana peel. I'll take care of it.

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:38
Yes, yeah, gosh. Yeah, that was that was it. We did. I did bloodwork every two days, for two and a half weeks, because my numbers kind of slowed down. But we were I was apprehensive about doing any, any kind of shots or treatments. And then I was also still having some horrible pains. And so there was this weird week where the pains were so severe that she said, if it's one point higher, you need to be in the hospital and we'll remove your ovaries and your uterus. Which was terrifying too, because here we are wanting to try and she's saying if we do surgery, we will remove it all.

Scott Benner 1:03:22
But that didn't happen.

Jennifer Rainey 1:03:23
That's it. Yeah, it was it was super scary. It ended up not having to have surgery because my body was was passing it somewhat naturally. And, and my blood sugar's I knew I knew something had changed because my blood sugar's went back down. They went back up. And my, you know, Luke was giving me normal amounts of insulin again. And that's when I knew that something had changed. Um, how long?

Scott Benner 1:03:50
How long did it take for your blood sugars to kind of regulate it was until this had kind of run its course.

Jennifer Rainey 1:03:57
I'm actually that weekend.

What was it like ml?

I don't know. There was a there was a weekend that my blood sugar's just were back to normal, and I had to take insulin for food again. And that was like a week later that I was like, Oh, that's strange. I just had a bolus for food. Um, because because I wasn't bolusing for food, and I was staying low.

And then I

yeah, I went above like, 130. And I was like, Oh, that's weird. Let me take some insulin.

Scott Benner 1:04:28
That's interesting. Oh, my Oh, so I'm sorry of this aside, because we're up to an hour now did did this change? I mean, are you gonna try again?

Jennifer Rainey 1:04:40
I don't know. I'm,

I'm still I still go back and forth. I think my husband definitely wants to try again. I go back and forth. And like sometimes I'm like, Yeah, let's do this. And then other times.

Other times, it's easy

Scott Benner 1:04:53
for him to say because an egg didn't get stuck in his fallopian tube. So I'll be like, sure you mean more sex. Like that part? Yeah, I hear that.

Jennifer Rainey 1:05:03
Yeah, yeah, um, other times, I go back and forth on it. I did start seeing therapist again. The week that we found out, we were losing our baby, we decided to name her or him. Because it felt really weird to keep just saying like the baby or the, the pregnancy or something. So, um, our son actually helped us and we talked to him about what had happened. And that mommy's body wasn't like, a good place for the baby to grow in. And it was really hurting mommy. And so the baby actually passed away. So we talked about naming the baby and he wanted it to be named in a name because his name also starts with an A.

Scott Benner 1:05:45
Did he choose? Did you guys choose? You don't have to tell me if you don't want?

Jennifer Rainey 1:05:50
Yes, no, we chose Avery tried to find a a unisex name that could be both boy or girl, depending on whatever the baby was. Oh, it

Scott Benner 1:05:57
was very nice. I agree. I mean, not that you need my, my my agreements or not. But I agree with a therapy that says it's such a great idea. Yeah, you know, just to sort of get through so because you've been through a fair amount. How old are you now?

Jennifer Rainey 1:06:13
I am 33. Now

Scott Benner 1:06:14
you gotta have stuff stop happening? Because I know. Yeah, that's enough.

Jennifer Rainey 1:06:19
I know, I would like like, I kind of like been nice and boring. Life. Like, I feel like, I feel like it makes my blood sugar's easier. It makes my life easier. And there's way less chaos. We bring in chaos through through foster care, but we try to like calm it all down and have a nice and normal schedule. My son, our son actually does really well on a schedule. He's one of those kids that like crave structure. So that's been a probably that was the biggest adjustment for me was being a parent. Like he's just, He's really good. And that structured life so

Scott Benner 1:06:55
well, I have to be honest, a Jennifer, I don't know why so many lovely and decent people end up on this podcast because just I mean, I'm, I don't know, like, I don't mean anything. I just it. It astounds me when I'm talking to people and they're telling me their stories. And, you know, just everybody's just wonderful. You know, people are, it's just a very nice, it's nice, like, I'm gonna have a good day now after talking to you. So Oh, seriously, I

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:22
share what? I don't know the other side of it. I'm not that I'm not that I'm like, oh, diabetes is bad. And it's gonna kill your babies. Because that's definitely not what I'm saying. You don't

Scott Benner 1:07:31
think I should title the episode? diabetes is bad, and it's going to kill your baby.

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:37
I mean, I would laugh at it, but I could see other people might be highly offended. It

Scott Benner 1:07:41
might make people upset is what I'm saying. I yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick away from that one. I think what you're saying is that, here's the thing that happened to you and it could, you know, it's, it's worth understanding that. Yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:53
I think blood sugar is watching my blood sugar's um, you know, I was doing all of the quote unquote, right things as a diabetic I was exercising three to five times a week and had a great a Wednesday, I had pretty good control, my standard deviation is low, my time and range is like 98% going into it. And that was with a tightened range, not the normal 70 to 180. You know, I was doing all of the things and I was working my tail off. And I don't blame myself for it. I know that crap happened. But I hope that at least just talking about it. Other people can. I don't know if they're going through something crappy that they know they're not alone.

Scott Benner 1:08:34
Yeah, that's, that's, I mean, important to understand. I have to say, though, I isn't it possible this all could have happened to you, even if you didn't have type one?

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:43
Absolutely. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:44
I mean, your lady parts might just be busted up or something.

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:46
They they're they're definitely busted up. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:08:48
for sure. I mean, I mean, I don't maybe it's the hair dye. Is that possible?

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:55
The pink of the purple from 15 years

Scott Benner 1:08:57
ago, I'm saying like, I don't know what happened where it leeches to? I don't understand science and thinking. So I don't know.

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:04
I know. I haven't told a whole bunch of tattoos too. I once had a doctor that said like, Oh, that's really bad for you basically poisoning your body so maybe it's the tattoos.

Scott Benner 1:09:12
Well, you meet a lot of crappy doctors don't you? Want to tell you bad stuff? But at least you didn't know least didn't throw one of those like tattooed needles at you because they're heavy. They're like

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:24
they're like heftier versions of needles.

Scott Benner 1:09:28
You deserve a pass Jennifer I don't know therapist says that we give out to people but if they are you get one.

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:35
I would love one I would love just like that. I think that was my goal going into our pregnancy with Avery was just like to have a normal pregnancy or I are my first one was so chaotic and crazy and and I definitely felt like it kind of robbed me of that joy of you know, everybody plans, their birth plan and your holistic life with your newborn baby and all of these happy things and mine I woke up in ICU with platelets and Blood being transfused in me, and it's liquid is this dark stuff in the IV bag? And they're like, Oh, yeah, that's blood. She's just kind of wanted to like a good healthy one. And I don't know. I don't know if that's, if that's just something I need to change in my once or, or what but I know, you know, diabetes wise, I went in it with the best control possible.

Scott Benner 1:10:20
Well, I guess the real question moving forward then is, is this something if it goes badly, again, you're up for it? You don't I mean, like I Timmy, it's not so much a question of do I want to have a baby of my own? The question is, can I physically and emotionally deal with this happening? Again, if it happens, because I, I come at everything from? No, like, I start with no. And then I work my way to Yes, that's how I think so if if you asked me if this had happened to me, I'd say, I don't know if I want to go through, you know, another pregnancy that doesn't end with a baby because I you know, I don't know the rest of it. I don't know how it impacted you emotionally. And yeah, that sort of stuff. To me. That's the way to think about it. But I don't know, maybe you'll just wait for a guy and assign the Jesus costume to tell you

Jennifer Rainey 1:11:12
why he talked about it with actually my therapist asked that question like, is that something that you want to do again, and I was like, I think I could do it one more time. And she was like, really? And I was like, Yeah, like, I know, my, I don't know, my emotional strength. And I am definitely one of those people that's like, like, if I stay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Whether whether that means, you know, me getting wrecked in the process is a different story.

Scott Benner 1:11:39
I think that you know, you make a good point, though. You're a person who's been through a lot and it hasn't broken you stands the reason that one more bad things not gonna, like you don't feel like one more straw is gonna break the camel's back. Right? You're not ready.

Jennifer Rainey 1:11:54
Yeah, I think I've been endured a lot. And maybe all of that, like bad crap has just made me like, emotionally stronger person. I don't think I'm a tough hard ass kind of person. But I do think that, um, I don't know, I can endure a lot. Um,

Scott Benner 1:12:07
so you're, you might be willing to risk what it is in totality to have a miscarriage. To see if you can have a baby. Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 1:12:17
I think I could endure maybe one maybe two more. Before I just be done. Done.

Scott Benner 1:12:23
Now, what would it look like? Would it just be like you go and be like, do you think he just like, like spring a leak? Or do you think it would just be like, Is your husband have to put you out in the backyard to pasture be like, Where's Jennifer? Oh, she doesn't live in the house anymore?

Jennifer Rainey 1:12:38
Um, no, you know,

I think that he, he's probably would be more, more distraught and more upset by it. I think there will always be that part of me that wants that, like, that happy ending kind of thing. But if that's just not part of my story, then trying to find the best. I don't know, just like everything else that's happened in my life trying to find the best outcome out of all of the bad.

Scott Benner 1:13:02
No, I mean, listen, some people's paths are just often said to me the other night she goes, can like Wouldn't it be cool if we were like a family where like, we just like a normal thing wrong. Like, just like one of us had asked him or something that'd be merged. I would definitely do better every time. You know,

Jennifer Rainey 1:13:21
I think yeah, I mean, I don't know bad stuff happens to good people. I'm not saying I'm good people. But I think that if I can just try to find a way to use my story to, to help somebody else. And then that's what I'm gonna do.

Scott Benner 1:13:36
Jennifer, I'm gonna leave you with this. And I mean, this incredibly sincerely. Do you really not know you're a good person? That was the saddest thing anyone's ever said on here. And you were just, you were hedging your bet. Are you afraid Jesus will hear you say you're a good person? But what? Why didn't you just say that? Tell me please.

Jennifer Rainey 1:13:55
Um, you know, I just, I mean, I think we all make mistakes, and we all do crazy things. I just, I just tried to be the best version of me that I possibly can be and I want to like when I do die, I know this is like a whole bunch of death talk. But when I do die, what I want people to be like, man, she lives like a full filled with love life. And that's, that's just what I try to do.

Scott Benner 1:14:18
Yeah, I just don't know why you would, would qualify. I'm not saying I'm gonna have you ever like shanked a bitch over cigarettes or something like that. Or?

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:26
I mean, I did say I lived like a crazy teenager. I'm kidding. I definitely did not think anybody

Scott Benner 1:14:33
will listen, I'm I'm no one to you. But let me just tell you that from my perspective, Jennifer, you are a good person.

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:41
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:14:42
You're very welcome. Work on that in therapy and not laughing when somebody says something nice about you. Okay, because it took me a while to not have to giggle through somebody saying nice things about me too. And I grew up like a feral cat as well. So

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:58
I just imagined as like running Through like a forest or like a prairie scene, or just like brawling and then running. Yeah, my firm wasn't as much like out in the

Scott Benner 1:15:07
open. Like, it was just like an emotional. I was like an emotional feral cat like nobody ever checked on me. You know what I mean? They were never like, hey, you're right, right.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:19
So like people didn't care.

Scott Benner 1:15:22
Really good student they left you alone.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:24
Yes, I'm, again that devoted to like, I want to be the best. So I made no no A's and in everything. I just made a B again, like in grad school, and I was really, really mad at myself.

Scott Benner 1:15:38
My wife was getting her her advanced degree. She got like a 97 in a class. And she argued with that Professor for months by email. I was like, Kelly, why does this matter? She's like,

Unknown Speaker 1:15:51
89.4 It hurts so bad.

Scott Benner 1:15:54
Yeah, I was like, there's something incredibly wrong with you. Just so you know.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:58
I get it. I get it. Tell her I totally get it. Oh, no,

Scott Benner 1:16:00
I don't think she's alone. I'm just telling you. All y'all are messed up. If that's, if that's a worry for you. You know, we

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:06
just want to be the best God like you want to be the best diabetics and the best pregnant person and the best mom and the best. Everything.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:13
I don't have

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:17
time in therapy. So

Scott Benner 1:16:18
I've never felt like that in my life. Like, you know, what, if I don't beat all of these people, it's gonna be a real letdown. Just I'm just always like, I'm doing alright. Good enough,

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:26
in my mind is not really so much a comparison to other people. Like I don't care if you go kill people,

Scott Benner 1:16:31
or yourself.

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:32
You know, it's just me. Yeah, like, I want to be the best for me.

Scott Benner 1:16:36
Oh, no, no, I see that my son is competitive against himself, too. But he really is. I've said it here before, but I don't know if it means as much to him to win a baseball game as it does for him to play well in that baseball game.

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:46
Yep. Yep.

Scott Benner 1:16:47
I can't tell sometimes, you know, he he really is in a competition with himself. So I'm sure he'll grow up to be a lunatic just like the rest of you guys. Anyway, you're really delightful. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue, glucagon, find out more about chivo kaipa pen at G Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, you spell that? g d OKEGLUC. ag o n.com. forward slash juice box. I'd also like to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter and remind you that you can get it at Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. And don't forget to check out the T one D exchange at T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box. Hey, now that you're done listening, you should go check out the Facebook page for the podcast Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, it's a private facebook page with over 7000 participants, everyone talking about type one management and other ideas. It's an equal mix of parents and adults, I think you'll like it. It's about the nicest place I've ever seen on Facebook. And that is saying something. If you're looking for a great doctor, or have one that you'd like to suggest to others, please check out juice box docs.com. And if you're looking for those diabetes pro tip episodes, and you're having trouble finding them there in your podcast player, they're all listed at diabetes pro tip.com. Check it out. Lastly, I'd love to thank you for sharing the show with other people. October was just the most popular month in the history of the show. Beating September that was the previous most popular month of the show, which of course, beat the month before that which beat the month before that, which but what I'm trying to tell you is the show becomes more and more popular every month. And that's because you're sharing it and I really appreciate it. All right. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.

---

Please support the sponsors

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate

#401 Alisa Weilerstein

Classical cellist and type 1

#401: Alisa Weilerstein: Scott reveals his love for the cello when he interviews 38-year-old American classical cellist Alisa Weilerstein, who has had T1D since just before she turned 10. They discuss cello music and her career extensively, as well as a variety of issues surrounding diabetes including tight controls; avoiding lows while performing; high protein, low-carb diet; and changing technology.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Amazon Music - Spotify - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

Visit AlisaWeilerstein.com and find Alisa on Instagram

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:09
Hello, friends, welcome to Episode 401 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today, I'm incredibly excited to tell you that Alisa Weilerstein is on the program. Now there are two, two cellist in the world whose work touches me very deeply. Yo, yo, Ma, and Alyssa. So imagine my surprise when one day going over social media, something popped up in front of me that made me think, doesn't Alyssa Wyler, Stein have diabetes? And she does. Alyssa was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes 28 years ago when she was just about 10 years old. So she's here today to talk about that. And also to indulge me as I asked questions about the cello. Now, I know that a lot of you might not be classical music fans, but I implore you spend the next hour finding out what I love about the cello. And you might just love it too. Plus, you'll hear about some type one diabetes stuff. I'm tricking you into learning about the cello. But it's not really much of a trick if I'm telling you. During this episode, you're going to hear cuts from Alicia's newest album, Bach cello suites. Many thanks to her record label pentatone for allowing me to use some of the music. You can find out all about Alyssa on our website. Alyssa Wyler Stein comm you can see her upcoming schedule, a little biography, and of course, all of our albums right there in one place with convenient links to Amazon, apple, and Spotify. Before we start, please don't forget to check out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box. T one D exchange is doing amazing things for people with type one diabetes by collecting data that helps people make better decisions about type one T one d exchange.org Ford slash juice box you need to be a US resident with Type One Diabetes with a parent of someone with Type One Diabetes from the United States takes less than 10 minutes to become part of the registry, adding your answers to their very simple and straightforward questions. The data they get from you goes on to help make decisions like setting a one c standards. Whether or not people get test trips from their insurance. And if Medicare covers things like Dexcom you really will be helping other people who are living with Type One Diabetes. When you visit T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox join the registry today. Okay, you're ready. This is Alyssa. I'm so excited. I have a podcast that is now 400 episodes old, all about type one diabetes. And I have been for the last well since the since the the royal wedding. I guess I've had it in my head that I could actually get a type one who played the cello. Because Yeah, because cello is is is my if you told me you were gonna lock me in a dark room for the for the rest of days. And I could take one thing with me. I would take I would take some on accompany cello piece with me. Yeah, good taste. Thank you. And I have no background in it whatsoever. I am an absolute novice. I only know how I feel. When I hear it. I can only tell you that a couple of years ago when yo yo ma said he was going to be touring his his last album. I drove from the middle of New Jersey to Washington DC to hear him play

Unknown Speaker 3:59
my

Scott Benner 4:01
night and I sat about eight rows from him at the cathedral, and it was really amazing. And while my wife sat next to me, I think enjoying it and at the same time wondering how because it seems incongruous my, my whole personality and the fact that this is what I don't think they fit together very well. That's great. I really love it. So I want to hear a little bit about when you were diagnosed with type one. How long ago was it?

Alisa Weilerstein 4:31
It was 28 and a half years ago. Um, I am 38 now and it was the month before my 10th birthday. Okay,

Scott Benner 4:39
so I was gonna say when you were 10 but I didn't want to creep you out by proving that. I knew how old you are.

Unknown Speaker 4:46
That's great. All right.

Scott Benner 4:48
Do your homework. It's all right. No, no, it's not just that. I saw I was following you on Instagram before I recognize that you had diabetes. Oh really? Yeah. Okay. And then one day you did something on Instagram that made me go home. My God, that girl have type one. Because if she does, I'm getting her on the spot. I'm not embarrassed at all, by the way, the people listening, who probably would never imagine this about me, but I don't know why it's such an odd thing to some people. But but we'll get into all this at some point. So you're 10 years old? Was there any type one in your family or other endocrine issues?

Alisa Weilerstein 5:22
Not that we knew of. My mother said that her grandmother, and her grandmother, her grandmother died when she was fairly young. So she wasn't fully aware, but that there was some diabetes there. She thought it was type two, actually, which of course, as we know, has no real genetic link to type one. But um, many years later, my first cousin came down with it, and she was 23. So that's definitely on my mother's side of the family there. There's some sort of genetic

Scott Benner 5:48
thing going on. I like how you say came down with it. I felt like yes, I went down with it dad freezing. It's like you got a cold? Okay, I'm 20. Let's see, 20 years ago is 28 years ago, eight years ago. 1990 ish in the middle.

Alisa Weilerstein 6:06

1992. Yeah, it was actually the year, I remember. Well, because it was the year that the dcct trials came out with a definitive statement that said that a tight control could greatly reduce the risk of complications. And so it was a very kind of, I mean, if one had to be diagnosed with it, it was a very sort of hopeful time. And so that was something that my doctors really made sure that my parents understood. And that that I understood also, and it was kind of motivation to, to really keep a good eye on the blood sugar.

Scott Benner 6:37
Well, even just a few years prior to that, the disease was all about just do your best. And let's see how long you can make it. You know, pretty much Yeah,

Alisa Weilerstein 6:45
pretty much. And so my mom told me Actually, many years later that I mean, we had a lot of Doctor friends, and I was already pretty serious about the cello. And then there was a great insensitive doctor friend who said to my principal, you know, you can forget about the cello. She's going to have neuropathy, neuropathy in her fingers when she's 25, she won't be able to play

Scott Benner 7:05
Oh, my gosh, yeah, I'm glad you didn't look very nice. Let me say, I'm glad you didn't listen to them. Because so so you're gonna, there's gonna be a lot of moments where I'm gonna ask you to correct me during this if you're anything that I say that's wrong, but I hear cello playing from artists to artists. And to me, it feels, I used to think of it as like, more masculine or feminine. Oh, like control of the strings or depth of the tone. I don't even know how to put it. But you're the you're the first, like, female artist that I've heard that plays like a guy i think is the way I think. But I could be completely wrong, like my intuition about what that is, could be wrong. But you're you get more of a resonance out of the strings, then it feels like, like, I don't know what I'm talking about. It feels like some people have a harsher touch. And some people have a lighter touch. Am I anywhere near right about that?

Unknown Speaker 8:01
Yeah, I mean,

Alisa Weilerstein 8:03
although Have you ever heard Jackie do pray?

Scott Benner 8:05
No.

Alisa Weilerstein 8:06
Should I? I Yes, definitely. She was one of my issues, probably my primary role model as a child. And she had this no holds barred. Complete natural command of the instrument and strength and sensitivity. I mean, like the perfect kind of combination of that and passion. And so I was really, really attracted to that and attracted to her her approach to the instrument into her sound into her kind of into her instinct. There's something very raw about it. And so I think that's part of a part of kind of my, my own makeup with, let's say, my son, my earliest sort of sound concept, right? Um, but But yeah, I mean, I actually I feel pretty lucky because there, there is a kind of gender imbalance with jello. There are a lot more famous male cellist and there are female jealous and the female jealous that I, I mean, the challenge that I gravitated toward actually was I met and I listened to many and I admired many, but the one that I really related to was female, okay. And, and she played in such a way that I didn't think about her gender at all, not for a second I Oh, she was she wasn't a role model because she was a woman that she was just she was a role model because I just adored the way that she played.

Scott Benner 9:25
So let me give you what I think is an amazing compliment and maybe I'm out of my mind. Okay, a lot of people listening, I'm going to put the music your By the way, your record company sent me the music so I can put it in right in here what I'm talking about, but around a minute and 52 into the prelude of sweet one. Okay. It gets quick, it starts to speed up.

And then after that, I cry when Mark plays it, and you play it and no one else Oh, why is that? Like it pulls tears right out of me. And I don't know how to. I don't know how to explain it because I can listen to someone else play it and hear it and think, oh, that was done well, and it feels clinical to me. But my eyes filled with tears, and they fall down my cheeks when you play it and when he plays it, and I don't know why that is. And I just, I'm happy about it. Thank you.

Alisa Weilerstein 10:52
I'm happy. I'm happy to hear that. Thank you for telling me.

Scott Benner 10:55
Why does it happen? What what what is it like so? So for people who don't understand the cello? Yeah, there's a couple of functions about it that absolutely light me up. There's a way that the the tones lift you and keep you up.

And then there's a way that they lift you and drop you.

And then there's a way I feel like I'm being pulled forward and let go and then pulled forward again. But I don't know how to quantify any of that.

Alisa Weilerstein 12:11
But that's good. You should you shouldn't try to quantify it because it's, there's a very I mean, I think, a person's response to listen, listening to any music not only the cello, though, I'll get to that too. I mean, to why the cello also always moved me and why we're so attracted to it but there's something even if you don't know anything about what you're in the center you don't know the history you don't know who the composer is, it doesn't matter there is there is a very primal very direct and very emotional response that I think everybody has to music. babies have it to music. I mean, I remember when I might my daughter is now four and a half but let's say when she was like a newborn and I was traveling with her already, I mean there were certain things I would sing to her that would if she was fussy would immediately calm her down and you could feel her feel the rhythm you could feel her heart rate slowed down. I mean it's it's really within us I think as human beings to really have a very direct and visceral response to music that we don't to that we don't even have the spoken language as for the cello, and of course your your ma you that you've brought up before it has has said this that it's and many many others have said it but the range of the cello and the tambor of the cello is the closest to the human voice of any certainly any stringed instrument, okay. And, you know from from the, you know, from the deepest sort of Basile profunda voice into like this coloratura voice and every and almost every in every cello masterclass, you can hear the the teacher saying, Well, you know, you have to imagine the voice and how would, how would a singer go for that, you know, kind of go for that interval? How would the singer kind of go for that leap? And we are always trying to mimic the human voice and how somebody would sing. And so I think that I'm you know, I was four when I did when I told my parents in no uncertain terms that I wanted to pick cello. And I mean, I can't tell you in any intellectual way why, but that was I think, I think that was the emotional, Primal visceral

reason why I wanted to play cello

Scott Benner 14:22
I only have one other like physical. So there are lower notes with the cello that I feel take the tension out of my spine up into the neck. It just it relaxes me.

Besides being physically touched in a sexual way, I have no other competitor. And for how like the cello can make me feel like seriously like, I mean another person reaching out and touching your skin somewhere. You don't I mean,

Alisa Weilerstein 15:06
yeah, no, it's very human.

Scott Benner 15:08
Very, very. I don't know how I found it. And you know what? It's funny. I don't, I try to trace it back in my mind, because I like an eclectic mix of music, but it's a younger person. I was growing up in the late 80s. Like, we were all listening to Guns and Roses and Metallica and stuff like that. Like, you know, there wasn't really, yeah, well, I still love it. But nobody was coming up to me and saying, hey, you should really listen to this. Other than I do wonder if Peter in the wolf wasn't my first introduction to it.

Alisa Weilerstein 15:39
It's a lot of people's first exposure to classical music during the wolf. It's fantastic.

Scott Benner 15:43
Right? I feel like that may be it. But and then after that, the West Wing, an episode of The West Wing, where yo yo ma comes on in place the

Alisa Weilerstein 15:52
place the first week, right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 15:53
Right. So I mean, I can't I can't find another, but I can't remember. I'm 48. Now, I can't remember it not being it's it's my go to music constantly. And I like it and other forms and fashions. But why is why is Bach. Is there something technically about Bach that makes it? Is that the pin ultimate piece tie or no?

Alisa Weilerstein 16:19
Well, I mean, every composer that came after Bach was indirectly or directly influenced by what he did. He was a groundbreaker. He was, in every way, in terms of the polyphony that he created the rhythmic, the rhythmic language, I mean, really, pretty much everything you can think of. Um, he also, I mean, like, if, let's say, if we're speaking about the cello suites versus before, we're talking about the cello. cello suites of course, we know they were written 350 years ago or so. And yet they feel like they were written yesterday. There's a timelessness about Ba, which is an A universality. And yet it's still you know, some of the high church, some some literally church music, but this is not this is not religious music, but this is

intellectually emotionally.

It's, it's the music. That is I think it's the most satisfying and

pleasurable to listen to.

Scott Benner 17:26
Yeah, I always thought up until a couple of years ago, that it was a technical thing that all people playing it were striving for, like trying to get it exactly. I mean, quote, unquote, right. And until, until this latest yo yo ma album, where he kind of said, like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, like, lean into it in different places. I never heard anyone tried to do that either. And now I'm excited for people to try that.

Alisa Weilerstein 17:54
But he This is his third recording of the bob sweets. Yeah. And he recorded it in three different stages of his career. And that was in a way, you know, I, I just, that's my last album actually was all about sweets. terrifying. Oh,

Scott Benner 18:06
by the I sorry, I've been listening to it for a while yours.

Unknown Speaker 18:09
Okay.

Alisa Weilerstein 18:10
I mean, I was I was terrified to record them. Actually, you know, even though even if you had told me that I was going to do it even five years ago, I would have said, Oh, no way, I'm going to wait until I'm 60. Because that's, it's, um, I suppose Bach, for us, musicians is kind of that they say the equivalent of what Shakespeare would be to two actors. And this is kind of it's very, it's it's stuff that you feel like, okay, you need the experience, you need the life, the life experience, and the wisdom to really do justice to it. And what I kind of realized, and I talked to you about this, actually, about a year ago, no, was it you know, two years ago or so, when I was making the decision to, to set down recording dates and recording times as well. And he said, and he gave me really, really amazing advice. Actually, I've known him for a long time. And it was more or less something which I was kind of wrestling with, but he, which he kind of reaffirmed, which is that Bach is living music. And I was I finally had the courage to put them down onto takes when I realized, okay, this is how I am thinking about this right now. This is I'm I was 37. Yeah. And I was in a certain stage of my life, and I lived with the sweets for, you know, my whole life basically. And in 15 years, I might record them again, and they might be very different. And that's great, because Bach is truly living music. And it's something that evolves in one's mind and one's heart and everything else. And so, that's how, that's how I kind of got the courage to do it. It's just it's you're creating something from no recordings. And and when you think back to when they were made, it's not like, it's not like he was scoring a movie when he made those things. Those sounds they just keep going It came through a pencil from his head, I would imagine. It's an it's just, it's really stunning. Okay, I should ask you a diabetes question to keep people. Or this is just gonna turn, your listeners are gonna be like, is this a diabetes podcast?

Scott Benner 20:14
I asked her about the cello and forget about the diabetes stuff. So I'm hoping people listening will be drawn to try to try your album like I really do.

Alisa Weilerstein 20:23
Thank you, that would be great.

Scott Benner 20:25
I'm just thrilled that I found it honestly. So when you're when you're diagnosed, is it pens? Do you get pens? Or do you just get insulin? While?

Alisa Weilerstein 20:33
No, ours was directions? It was syringes with NPH and regular and regular, right?

Scott Benner 20:39
How long do you do that? For? Do you remember how long you did that before you went to a faster acting insulin?

Alisa Weilerstein 20:45
Uh, yes. It was about I mean, before human long, it was maybe three years, okay. And that was a revelation that I didn't have to take my, my shot, you know, half an hour to 45 minutes before I ate a meal. And so much less planning. Thank God wasn't, was involved. And so then I switched to remember I switched to ultra lenti and lenti. And then we had Then there were the pens and then when I was 16. So I'd had I'd had it for almost seven years, I switched to a pump. Well, electronic mini med.

Scott Benner 21:20
Everyone started with that one, I think

Alisa Weilerstein 21:22
I actually just got off it I was very loyal until like five months ago, I switched to the tandem.

Scott Benner 21:27
Oh, the are using control IQ.

Alisa Weilerstein 21:30
Not to control IQ because I don't like the target. Set it set. I use the basal IQ because it doesn't keep me between 110 and 160. I want to have better control than that. So I hear people put it in sleep mode all the time to get tighter control.

Scott Benner 21:46
Things I hear, okay, my daughter uses the DIY loop loop. The the open the open APS one. Oh, like she's getting like Auto boluses when her blood sugar goes up and, and all kinds of crazy stuff.

Alisa Weilerstein 22:01
It's very well, I might have to pick your brain about that. Okay.

Scott Benner 22:05
So using the Dexcom g six, yes. Yeah, that's a big leap from how you started. That was

Alisa Weilerstein 22:10
that was huge. That was probably the biggest difference, because during my pregnancy, which was in 2015, and 2016, I was on the G five. And it wasn't as it I mean, it was it was great, but it's not it was not as accurate. There was still you know, a lot of things a lot of finger sticking. So yeah, I mean, not now. It's kind of a new life and, and even even now without, I mean, of course, I mean, I work hard to keep my blood sugar under control. But I mean, I know, I could get it better. But it was it's like it's easy to hit like six now are easier to hit six now than it ever has been.

Scott Benner 22:44
Yeah, no, I completely agree. I think that people who listen to this podcast would agree with you as well. So this show is mainly about like how to use insulin. And so most of the people who listen to the show probably have agencies that are closer to six if they've been listening for more than a couple of months.

Alisa Weilerstein 22:59
Fantastic. Really cool.

Scott Benner 23:00
Okay, and I'm really proud of but I'm wondering, that's amazing. That's absolutely amazing. Yeah, so. So I'm thinking back to middle school, where they burned us all in the cafeteria and brought all the instruments in the world in front of us. And I was like, I'm gonna go get that cello. And then I moved by the way, it would not have worked out. I, I just I know, I couldn't have done it. I'm a little like, I can listen to it, I can appreciate it. I don't think I could have created it. But anyway, I'm moving towards the cello. And this girl steps in front of me and takes the last one. And I end up with a saxophone in my hand. And I'm like, this isn't what I wanted to do the same. So anyway, I don't play an instrument. I hope that girl still does whoever she is. I hope she

Unknown Speaker 23:42
gets to. I hope

Scott Benner 23:44
she took it and did some really great stuff with it. Yeah, but if I would have found it and had diabetes, what's the what's that? Like? Like? Like? I mean, I can I think it must have taken. It must have. I mean that that yo yo ma concert I went to must have been three and a half hours long or more, and he didn't get up and move or walk away. Yeah. So how do you do that with diabetes? Well, I'm

Alisa Weilerstein 24:09
I'm very proud to say I've never had a single low on stage. And the entire 28 years that I've had it, I've always I've always wanted it. And so then even way before the technology was there to where it's much easier to avoid a low now than it was certainly in the 90s or the early the early aughts. I before the CGM, I would test my blood sugar. And I always tested quite a lot. I mean, I was not you know, I've been luckily most of the time that I've had diabetes, I've had very tight control. But the hour in the hour before a concert, I would test my blood sugar at least maybe six times. So an hour before, you know 45 minutes before, half an hour before 15 minutes before and then like twice, twice more to make sure that I was I was never below 130 before I went on stage, like we'd like between 130 to 150 is kind of my sweet spot that, you know, just, you know, a reasonable number, I mean, not like an ideal number, but a place where I had to kind of special to drop, because just the kind of the physical effort of playing, and kind of the concentration required would always, would always make me go up a little bit. Okay. And so for for that for a Bach marathon, I would, the way the way I structured

those clusters, which were three and a half hours long,

I would do the first three sweets, that I mean that the three out of six weeks, right, so the first three suites are about 765 70 minutes. And so I would make sure I was about, you know, around 140. And then there would be a 15 minute intermission at 70 minute mark, and then where I would just make sure that I was, you know, I would I would keep some protein, and maybe a few grapes backstage, right.

Scott Benner 26:00
I'm a little slow acting a little fast acting carbs, right.

Alisa Weilerstein 26:05
And of course, having glucose tablets around, you know, in case I will, you know, case, I walked the state of walked off stage with like, 65 or something, right. Which almost never happened, actually. I mean, I want to I was, like, 110 or so when I when I walked off stage after that, and then I would just rate you know, I would I would take like, I don't know, four grades or something, and I would get myself back up to 130.

Scott Benner 26:24
What's the adrenaline like, while you're playing? Is it something you control? like a, like a baseball player trying to hit a baseball, it's there, and you have to quell it? Or do you? Are you kind of Zen when you play at this point?

Unknown Speaker 26:36
Um,

Alisa Weilerstein 26:39
then the adrenaline. I mean, I'm very grateful that I that I have it and that it's not, it's not something that gets in my way. Um, I've always I in people have asked me, you know, did you get nervous? And I and I always say no, because I mean, I feel the butterflies, but it's a kind of positive rush. like, Okay, I'm ready to go. And it's, I find it that it really focuses me. So I've never had a kind of adrenaline high. From a concert, I, where I've had adrenaline highs was when I was really nervous about something else. Like, for example, my husband had to have an eye surgery, and my blood sugar shot to 320 and would not come down. But I was like pumping and pumping and pumping. The corrections were like water, they didn't do anything until he was out of the bar. And I knew he was fine. And that my blood sugar plunged.

Scott Benner 27:33
Good if you had Pre-Bolus for two meals.

Alisa Weilerstein 27:36
Exactly. Exactly. So I mean, you know that the liver was just going so

Unknown Speaker 27:41
um, so Yeah,

Scott Benner 27:42
wow. Yeah. No, I just I, I mean, what's the biggest collection of people you've played in front of ever? Do you know?

Alisa Weilerstein 27:50
I think it was 80,000. I played a concert in the park. Wow. So like, like, like a pop concert. But I mean, that that's unusual for a classical sure concert. I mean, they're one of the most enjoyable experiences I had actually was during the Boston Marathon to the Alfa lamoni in Hamburg, which it's a Toyota Hall. That is the same acquisition who did the Disney Hall, okay in LA. And it's just absolutely gorgeous. And what they also what they did with the lighting was incredibly special, like, there was a spot around the piano bench because of course, in a Bach marathon solo Bach marathon is just me on the stage, and there's a and it's um, and so I mean, to do it to do that kind of in a in a huge hole, if the lights are fully on doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. And so they were able to create a kind of intimacy, where I was very aware of the people around me, but yet it was it was it I felt like I was kind of in a room with them, like having a direct conversation the way we are now. And I just felt like I was playing kind of on a mountain on the under the stars. That sounds that was for 2200 people it has it is a capacity hole. So that was, yeah, that was really, really enjoyable.

Scott Benner 29:04
So I learned something about people at Carnegie Hall once and I wonder if you agree with this or don't I? I noticed that when people are told to be quiet. They can't be and when they don't need to be quiet. They have no trouble with it whatsoever. And it's always throat clearing. Yep. Right.

Alisa Weilerstein 29:25
And they can the gum. Sorry that the cop drivers like, right?

Scott Benner 29:29
Yeah, it's um, so I've seen here my number of times, but one of the times as was it at Carnegie Hall, and he finished playing and there was a break. I think we were seeing the goat road stuff maybe got ready. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the goat rodeo stuff and, and during the break, the places silent everybody's sitting around, sort of like you know, like they're in church and being quiet and everything. And then the lights dim a little and they start to play and that's it. It just happens everywhere. And I'm like, I like bad. This is like the most interesting psychological look into people's minds. Like as soon as they thought I have to be quiet. They couldn't be. So I'm not wrong about that, right?

Alisa Weilerstein 30:13
Oh, god, no. Well, it's like, it's like children. I mean, as I said, I've, you know, I have a four year old. I mean, and if I tell her, she has to be quiet, she's like, and if not, you know, and if I totally leave her alone, she's like sitting quietly, you know, reading book or doing a puzzle or something like that. It's totally

Scott Benner 30:32
fine. I so have always wondered what that is. Because that's the first time I noticed it. And now I noticed it everywhere.

Alisa Weilerstein 30:38
I think we're I think we're just very contrarian beings.

Scott Benner 30:41
Honestly, I just find it really fascinating.

Unknown Speaker 30:45
I think, I think it's right.

Unknown Speaker 30:47
I love it. I'm like, now it's now. Okay.

Alisa Weilerstein 30:50
Well, I think it's an interesting point. I think it's a it's also people are generally uncomfortable with silence, particularly in New York, by the way, where there's just more silence at any time. So you find very often with if there's a pause, like, for example, I don't know if you're familiar with Shostakovich first Cello Concerto?

Scott Benner 31:10
I know I have it. It's in my giant group of cello music, but I don't know if I could recall it right now.

Alisa Weilerstein 31:17
Sure, sure. There's, the third movement is a cadenza, which means that the cello is playing entirely alone for about seven minutes. And then, um, and then, of course, the orchestra comes in for the lesson. And there are these really, really quiet moments and moments of silence and pauses that are that are written in the music. And playing in a New York where it was the rhythmic pauses, you know. And it was literally I would be like, blank. And so there was no silence at all. And so at a certain time, and there was this guy who was, I think he was having kind of a problem. But I mean, he didn't have the problem when the music was actually kind of covered up. And it was, I mean, it was hard to hard not to kind of break character, as it were.

Scott Benner 32:03
Everybody needs to look deep into their soul about why they open up their phone when the movie starts. And then we're looking at it during the preview.

Alisa Weilerstein 32:13
I think there is a kind of anxiety about being in a quiet spot.

Scott Benner 32:18
It must be I need it around around the cello. Specifically, I need the quiet because I don't know how to explain this to people. I'm not listening to it, and trying to absorb it. And I don't know another way to say that really. So

Unknown Speaker 32:31
Oh, that's, that's fair.

Scott Benner 32:33
I need to be in a like, I think the best thing you could happen to me is a deprivation tank. With a cello, I think that I would

Alisa Weilerstein 32:41
be careful what you wish.

Scott Benner 32:42
That might not be great, right? Hey, our instruments. Like, I'm assuming they're all different. But can you pick one up? Play it pick up another one and play it? It's not the same? Like, I'm sure you have one that you use, but I mean,

Alisa Weilerstein 32:58
another type of instrument? And yeah, I mean, I yeah, I could I could pick up any cello and play it? Yes. But um, no. I mean, my cello is a very wonderful, rare Italian instrument, which I'm lucky to lucky to have. So.

Scott Benner 33:16
So how do you? I don't how would you? How would a person categorize you? Like, you know, like, if you were a football player, are you? Are you like an all star? Or are you like, like, do you like how did what like how does somebody who's as good at this as you are? Like, how many people in the world even do this, I guess in a notable way?

Alisa Weilerstein 33:36
Well, they're not that many professional classical musicians. It's a, it's a kind of specialized. You know, that they're there. It's definitely it's a kind of, it's a limited audience. And we are always trying to expand our audience, but let's face it, they're they're not not everybody's as new classical music every day. As much as I would like them to. I mean, I think it's the greatest music there is, but we're, we're all trying to struggle to get that message out. And yeah, I mean, it's it's a lot of it's like dancers or athletes. I mean, it as you were saying, I mean, it's a it's a huge amount of discipline and discipline, hard work, and blood, sweat and tears, in training, which, you know, not everyone wants to spend their time doing and so they're not that many people who will go go into it professionally.

Scott Benner 34:26
How? That brings me to the question of how long did it take you like, however, whatever proficiency you feel like you're at now, how long does that take to accomplish?

Alisa Weilerstein 34:36
I mean, I feel like I'm, it's a lifelong thing. I mean, I always I still feel like a student. In many ways. I mean, certain things certainly get easier or and I and I hopefully feel like my understanding of certain music, which I keep returning to deepens over time. And sometimes, sometimes I feel like Well, I mean, I used to do this right naturally, and now I don't feel like it's so natural anymore. Therefore, maybe I should put it away for a while and then come back to it later. It's that kind of thing. I mean, it's ongoing.

Scott Benner 35:06
It's an ongoing kind of evolution. I can't where you said you wanted to do it when you were four. Yeah, were people looking at you like when you were six going, Hey, Wow, she's way better at this. And the other six year olds like getting better at this the eight year olds? And I'm like, is it was there a did your parents like, tell me the story that your parents taught everybody? When they're like, Oh, we know. Like, when was that?

Unknown Speaker 35:24
I can't tell you that. No, you don't know.

Unknown Speaker 35:27
What to say.

Unknown Speaker 35:29
You have that? My parents? Okay. Where

Scott Benner 35:33
did they come from? Yeah, like some musical background?

Alisa Weilerstein 35:37
Yeah, actually, my parents are fantastic professional musician. So my, my father was the first violinist of the people quartet for 20 years. And, and from 1969 till 1989. So he left when I was seven. And my mother's a fantastic pianist. And, but but they were, you know, so many people asked, well, oh, so therefore you have to do you have to do music. And that's actually the opposite is true. They were very hands off about that. I wasn't I never felt in, in any way, any pressure coming from them. As far as becoming a musician, when I mean, they were they were they were kind of hippie parents. They were like, oh, we'll follow your heart and

Scott Benner 36:19
right? Well, I'm really glad that your heart didn't like happy lead you to like accounting or something like that, you know, that they would have been supportive of it, which is telling you I would be upset. I'm sure you all would be happy. But But my life wouldn't be as good. So I'm thrilled. I mean, I can't imagine that, you know, that it's not. I mean, there's I'm sure it's not a terrible living, but it's also not, not a not crazy ladies like money falling out of the ceiling or stuff like that. So you

Alisa Weilerstein 36:51
know, I mean, as I said, it's it's a

you know, it's not a it's not a mass marketed product. So, so no, I mean, we're not, we're not making popstar money. Gotcha question.

Scott Benner 37:07
Yeah, no kidding. So we should be, let me say that before I move on, you really should be doing something that just so few people know how to do in a way that evokes people would love it, if they listened. I know that I know. It doesn't strike some people immediately. And there's no word so they can't learn it quickly enough to stick with it. It requires.

Alisa Weilerstein 37:31
I mean, some, it requires you to sit down and as you as you were saying, absorb it. Because it's a long form. Yeah, it can't be wrapped up in three minutes. You know, it's a, it's definitely it requires more from the listener than right. Another time. Yeah,

Scott Benner 37:48
it's, um, there may have been years where I listened to certain pieces before I went to bed every night. And it just, it's how you except for people listening. Like, you know, if we just pick some random like Diddy that you can like, you know, it's on the radio and you you can just it sticks in your head right away. Yeah. Like, it's like, it's like sound crack it just like right away you. But absolutely. It happens with classical music, too. If you just you have to hear it more often. So you give it a chance. Yeah. It really does. You said you had a four year old child. Is that right?

Alisa Weilerstein 38:20
I do. I do. Yeah.

Scott Benner 38:21
I wonder how much thought goes into having a baby. When you have diabetes? What did you think about before you did that?

Alisa Weilerstein 38:28
A lot. And I read a lot of books and spoke with a lot of doctors and did plenty of freaking out and everything else. Yes. It also, I realize I had to be selective with who my with whom I chose to talk about it. Just because a lot of people had kind of outdated concepts of what it meant to be diabetic and pregnant at the same time. Right.

Scott Benner 38:55
Those are not fun conversations to have with people who think they understand this whole thing and just naysay and like, like, you got it early on. Like Don't forget the cello, you know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now, you don't have to forget anything. And it's, especially with this technology. I mean, honestly,

Alisa Weilerstein 39:12
exactly. It's really, it's a very different story. And, and even even before, I mean, like, even, you know, five years ago, when I was pregnant, there was it was still it was an earlier generation of the dexcom. And I didn't have a smart pump. But I mean, I achieved between 5.8 did 6.281 C's and my baby was born completely healthy. And I was you know, I had a great pregnancy. Yeah. And, you know, a lot of hard work of course, and, you know, very restricted diet. I've always found for myself that low carb works. works much better for me than I mean, I I just, my body just doesn't process carbohydrates. Well, I'm, I'm just not I'm not one of the lucky ones with that and so I found having a not not quite ketogenic But let's say very heavy on protein and fat. diet has always worked better for me. I

Scott Benner 40:06
have an episode going out in a couple of days. Paul Saladino, he's a doctor who has a podcast about eating carnivore. He just I just recorded with him. Because on the show, we do a lot of different things. But Excuse me. One of them was, we're doing like a how you eat kind of series because people eat in so many varied ways. I will tell you that that at the core of this podcast, I, here's what happened is my daughter was diagnosed when she was two. And I was a stay at home dad, okay. And for the first couple of years, I was so bad at it and hurry once, he was always like, almost nine. And I didn't know what I was doing. You know, she had a seizure when she was little bit of a mess. Yeah. And so I wrote for years about it, I had a really popular blog, and I wrote for years on it. And one day I said to my wife, like after I had her her hurry once he was dialed in, and like, it was just easy. Like, I could just do it. You know, I said to my wife, I'm like, there's a system in here, like inside of these ideas, you know? So I put them together. And I wrote about them for a while. And then one day, almost seven years ago, I started this podcast. And I started telling people like, I started putting diabetes into like, easy to understand ideas. Right? And my goal was always I don't care how you eat. If you understand how to use insulin, you could have a one c like this as well. Right? Yes, absolutely. That that has been my whole goal. And now I'm trying to have people in who talked about the way they eat. Whether you're you know, your high protein or your your I don't know, you're a vegetarian. I don't care. Yeah.

Alisa Weilerstein 41:35
Anyway, many ways to do it. But I found for me that if for myself that a Yeah, let's say ketogenic light diet works best for me.

Scott Benner 41:46
I listen, I don't have diabetes, but if I have too much sugar, or flour, I will start retaining water like a pregnant lady. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 41:56
Nobody wants that.

Scott Benner 41:56
No, I've seen myself both ways. This is this is a better way. But But no, seriously, like, I could eat what what most people would consider to be a very reasonable set of meals for a week and be 10 pounds heavier at the end of the week, and it's all

Alisa Weilerstein 42:09
just wonderful. Absolutely. I mean, I think, you know, for for most people, I mean, most people should lay off the flour and sugar. I mean, it's just, it's a it's an unfortunate fact of life. But it's true, right?

Scott Benner 42:21
Which is terrible. Because a cookie is nice, but and I don't care what people say, I don't want a cookie made almond flour. You can keep that. What am I doing? What am I gonna do with that?

Alisa Weilerstein 42:30
And I've always found like, if I have I mean, I would I will have a cheat meal once every 10 days. That's that's something I need to do for myself. I mean, not not during pregnancy, but during normal times. Um, and my visor actually pancakes. buttermilk, gooey.

Scott Benner 42:48
Butter. Yeah,

Alisa Weilerstein 42:49
yeah, butter brown maple syrup. That works. Yeah, I find that having that once every 10 days is far more interesting and better and more satisfying and makes me eat better the rest of the time than having these kind of diet pancakes, which are keto pancakes. I mean, which just tastes like cardboard to me. So yeah, I prefer to have the real deal once and then, you know, be really strict.

Scott Benner 43:14
No, it's it's all doable, like so my daughter's 16. Now, wow, her a one sees been between five two and six, two for six and a half years maybe I think

Alisa Weilerstein 43:23
that is amazing. And

Scott Benner 43:24
she eats whatever she wants. Like she had graham crackers and some weird Cool Whip with pumpkin recent like this afternoon. It's just, I just know how to bowl. So listen, if you had me with you, I could take care of those pancakes for you if you need me to.

Alisa Weilerstein 43:37
Does it? Well, Pre-Bolus

Scott Benner 43:38
will make a little Temp Basal increase will do things in there.

Unknown Speaker 43:43
Walk me

Unknown Speaker 43:44
through that right over?

Scott Benner 43:47
How? So when I was getting this set up, someone said that you were hoping to get a little more involved with diabetes stuff. Is that something you're thinking? Yeah,

Alisa Weilerstein 43:55
actually. Oh, I mean, I mean, I'm in. I'm now I'm an official spokesperson for jdrf. Oh, cool. And also, I'm also an official kind of spokesperson slash consultant for Genesis, which is a I mean, they research not only type one diabetes, but they're there. They're basically cloning organs. And so they're, they're in a very specific angle for curing diabetes, for research. And so, so yeah, I'm working with and we're kind of now no pun intended. No pun intended, but we're kind of working in tandem. Together with Dr. Anthony Genesis with Clinton pop. Oh, so yeah, I'm um, I'm getting much louder about my advocacy.

Scott Benner 44:42
Did you ever as a child or younger person's you ever hide it? The diabetes?

Alisa Weilerstein 44:47
Yeah, a lot. Actually. I started playing professionally when I was 14. So I signed with the management and I was I wasn't doing that much. I would maybe one week per month. I would I would be doing like a concerto with orchestra. So a couple of recitals here and there. But especially because I was so young, and, you know, it was a new management and they didn't. And this was still in the mid 90s. So the preconceptions of diabetes, they were definitely changing by that point, but they are not what they are now for sure. And so my I remember speaking to my parents about it and saying, I'm not going to tell my tell any professional conduct about this. So I did hide it, I, I kept it hidden from from, from everyone who was really not, let's say, a close family friend, or very few sort of trusted person. And so I kept it a secret from my manager for three years. Well, until just because I mean, I was I was very driven, I was quite ambitious. And I didn't want anyone to treat me with kid gloves. And from any sort of preconceived idea, and she actually found out because when I was 17, I traveled I started traveling by myself a bit, but I didn't stay in hotels, of course, at that age, I stayed with host families, okay. And I remember going I went up to a family in Maine, they were wonderful family, and I stayed with them for about five days. And they that there was a girl about my age who was living there, and she had type one. And then of course, we you know, we compared notes all the time. And, and so my manager found out this way, they said, Oh, yes. And and both of them have type one and how wonder, you know, how, when or how wonderful, but how crazy. Yeah, and then I and my manager, who was very New York style, tough, but very well, actually very warm and fuzzy on the inside. She said, I don't know you're diabetic. Why didn't you tell me?

Scott Benner 46:44
You tell her why. Or did you just play it off and keep going?

Alisa Weilerstein 46:47
No, I

Unknown Speaker 46:50
she is

Scott Benner 46:51
you broke up? Hold on a second.

Unknown Speaker 46:53
Oh, sorry. No, don't worry.

Scott Benner 46:54
Can you hear me? I can, but we got a bad. I'll cut my video out and see if that helps us a little bit.

Alisa Weilerstein 47:01
Okay. Can you hear me now? Yeah. Okay. Well, she said, she said, Are you really diabetic? And I said, Yeah. And then she said, Well, why didn't you tell me? I said, I don't know. Just because I didn't I mean, like, why would I tell you? I mean, this is irrelevant? She said,

Scott Benner 47:20
sorry. I was gonna say was it freeing to tell somebody?

Alisa Weilerstein 47:24
It was definitely writing to tell her when I realized that I didn't have to hide anymore. Yeah, cool. Definitely. So definitely,

Scott Benner 47:33
I can understand why you did it. And a lot of people do. And it makes sense to me, you don't want somebody to limit you or make a decision that Oh, you definitely can't do this before you get a chance to.

Alisa Weilerstein 47:45
Exactly. I didn't want anyone even to have an even an unconscious bias. That was that was really impossible. And I mean, even a bit later, I remember when I would want to do sort of athletic things. where, you know, and I was it, I wouldn't say was I mean fully out with it. I mean, I wasn't shouting it from the rooftops. So people knew. And they would say, Well, are you sure that you want to do that? Like, did you eat it up before? Or you're not going to, you know, get low or something? or pass out? Are you the sort of insensitive things like that,

Scott Benner 48:22
then all the questions start and all the judgments and the side? Yeah, and all that stuff? Yeah.

Alisa Weilerstein 48:26
Yeah. And there's just like, Well, all right. I don't think I'm gonna talk about this anymore. And but then there's the other side of it as well, which is that? Oh, well. I mean, I always forget that you have it, because, you know, you handled it so well. It's so easy for you. And that's also not I mean, I prefer that perhaps to the other but it's that that's also a bit you know, it.

Scott Benner 48:50
Yeah, we we have an idea. Let's just put it that way. I have an episode about how to about how a layperson can understand diabetes, and it's just sort of an explanation of it. And it's, it's a very common thing is that most things that people think to say that they believe are comforting, aren't really it, you know, when they come from the outside, they just don't recognize it. I do think they're trying to be Yeah, kind about it, you know?

Alisa Weilerstein 49:15
Absolutely. I mean, there's, um, I, I don't I don't judge anyone for making a comment this way. And it's especially when it's not as a kind of encouragement. And it's just Yeah, it's a tough one. Um, you know, you you learn to you learn to have I mean, I'm sure your daughter can relate to this, too. I mean, one learns to have a pretty thick skin.

Scott Benner 49:35
Yeah, no, I I believe so. I think even parents might try my video again. I think even parents, and anybody your loved ones, it's hard to hear someone say something that burns in your chest and your and you have to be like, Oh, let me explain it to you. It's not like that where you have to decide I'm not gonna explain this. I'm just gonna walk away.

Alisa Weilerstein 49:52
I don't owe anyone an explanation. Yeah. It's just while I'm doing what I'm doing, and that's it. And you know, I love with it and that's,

Scott Benner 49:59
that's all Okay, what kind of music do you list? So do you for for enjoyment? Do you listen to music? Or is it like? Yeah, what do you listen to?

Alisa Weilerstein 50:09
I do? A, I was Hey, actually, may 85 90% of the time I'm listening to classical music because I really love it. And, and it's, uh Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's what it's what moves me it's what this what I really truly love. As for other types of music which I which I also love very much. I mean, I I went through a queen phase recently, actually, I mean, I listened to Queen growing up and but I found that again, I love it. Yeah. Freddie Mercury is one of my heroes. Bjork, I loved as a teenager, and then kind of, I went a little cold on it. Now, I know, I adore her again and again,

she's amazing. She's doing a

you know, the Beatles Of course, too. And

Scott Benner 51:00
I jump through stuff, too. I have to tell you that one of the things I listened to more than I am comfortable telling people but Sarah Burrell as I listened to her a lot, and I don't know why I'm laughing. She's got such a wonderful voice and, and I just I love how she writes. And, and I don't, again, people listening are gonna learn a lot about me today. But I do. You know, I go the other way. I'm kind of all over the place. I've been listening to a lot of more. Oh, gosh, a little more jazzy stuff once in a while. And Gary Clark Jr. I really love how he plays the guitar. It's a interesting mix of Southern and not Southern. It's I don't

Unknown Speaker 51:42
know, I've never heard it.

Scott Benner 51:43
He's, he's, he's a little more like Jimi Hendrix than, than anything else. So good, you know. But yeah, and I also do this thing where I'm very careful to, and I'm glad about Apple Music lets me follow my kids. And what they're listening to. That's very cool. And I like my kids a lot. I think they're decent people. And so when they're listening to things that I don't get, I try really hard. That's good. Have you right to do it, so I do no. Pop smoke. In case you're wondering. I'm sure that rap might have missed you. But But I'm, but I'm trying to I've learned to like Meek Mill. And I just it's just some my son listens to a lot of rap music. And he's a great bright kid. And I'm like, you know what, there must be something in here. So I talked to him about,

Alisa Weilerstein 52:30
well, it's good for you for being open minded. That's great. Plus, I

Scott Benner 52:33
don't want to be an old person one day, I was like, what's that you're listening to? I don't like it. You know, like, I don't want to sound like that ever.

Unknown Speaker 52:39
out of touch.

Scott Benner 52:40
Who's coming up in cello that I should be paying attention to?

Alisa Weilerstein 52:45
Well, you mentioned the royal wedding. I mean, you heard check and kind of Mason, who was wonderful. And it was super sweet guy. And, yeah, definitely keep an eye out for him.

Scott Benner 52:55
Okay, I keep messaging him privately, and he will not answer me back. I'm sure I just I'm like, I must come. I'm like, please come on my podcast anymore. But he won't even answer me. It's fine. He seems busy. It's okay, though. But I would I wonder too, if people don't sometimes want to mix their professional with their diabetes, too, which makes sense to me.

Alisa Weilerstein 53:14
I yeah. I mean, he's very young.

And I mean, I mean, I think he's, he's probably type one diabetic. I mean, he's, he's not hiding it. But, you know, people go through different stages with how much they want to talk about it. And it could be that

Scott Benner 53:29
makes sense to me. He and his family did something like his sisters and I maybe abroad, I can't it's all the siblings, something on Facebook recently. I was like, this is as good as a concert I've ever been to, like they were like pulling it off in their family room. It looked like really something. Have you tried that whole thing since COVID? Have you been like, Hey, I'm gonna play on my Instagram.

Alisa Weilerstein 53:50
Actually, yeah, in fact, right when it's when we were truly in lockdown. I did a I did a project called 36 days of ball. So this was it was it actually went from March 17 until April 21. That was 36 days.

And because there are 36

movements of buffering for cello, so six weeks, six months, six movements each and I posted one woman per day and I went through all six weeks and I would end at the end of each week I would do a live Facebook session actually. But it was it was posted on all of my social media channels

Scott Benner 54:29
people can find it still them and

Alisa Weilerstein 54:31
that was a it especially kind of when when it when the reality hit that we were not going to be congregating in any concert hall anytime soon. Yeah, it was. You know, as performers, we are trained. And what we want to do is just to give, we want to share, we want to communicate in that way. And so that was that was my way of doing that of sharing. Well, I'll make

Scott Benner 54:53
sure to put links to your social media in here so people can find it but you are playing in public just in Europe, right?

Alisa Weilerstein 55:00
Yes, I did. I did kind of five solid no three solid weeks of work in Europe just it just now she's like September October, because they things are things are happening in Germany and, and Switzerland and to certain very, very modest extent in the UK there. I mean kind of recorded streams, kind of the way they are here in the US. But I did yeah, I mean, I kind of had this burst of activity, I had maybe two, how many, like 10 concerts in the space about three weeks. So that audiences that was a big was a big deal. Yeah,

Scott Benner 55:37
this gap of time this year is going to cause gaps in the future that we don't realize yet. People, people not performing and honing their crafts and, and getting better you think about like bands that have to go out and just bar tour to get good enough that somebody will pay attention. None of that none of that's happening right now. It's hard. Yeah. I appreciate that. You did that and you want to keep going and just try to find some. I think everybody feels that way.

Alisa Weilerstein 56:07
And actually, I've been doing quite quite a lot of recording. I mean, as soon as I arrived back in San Diego, kind of mid October and recorded all five Beethoven's almost right away at the Conrad Conrad pepper Center, which is a glorious chamber Jeremy's I call it's just the acoustics are unbelievable. Like, I mean, you want once this is all over, you've got to go and listen to some concerts there. It's really pretty amazing.

Scott Benner 56:36
I'm sorry, me to cut you off. Do you ever? Do you have a recording of a volley? I find that to be the most joyous of the cello.

Alisa Weilerstein 56:41
Yeah, no, fortunately, I'm sorry. No, don't be sorry. One

Scott Benner 56:44
day you're apologizing? Apologize. I was just that, to me seems the closest to like, the holidays. I don't know what that Oh, yeah. Is that right? You know, okay. I don't know what I'm literally a neophyte. I don't know anything about it. I can't be technical or specific. I can just tell you, it's the greatest thing ever. So,

Alisa Weilerstein 57:06
but this is what, you know, there's no need for that. I mean, we, you know, I'm thrilled that you love it. This, it makes this making my day. Great. I'm glad.

Scott Benner 57:15
What, What is there? Is there any modern music that fits? cello? Like, are people still writing for it now? stuff that I don't know?

Alisa Weilerstein 57:25
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, for sure. There's actually it's a very special time, I think for for contemporary classical composers. Because there, it used to be that there was kind of certain styles that were acceptable, quote, unquote, to write in, you weren't taken seriously, if you wrote something that was too, let's say, too easy on the ears too accessible. Whereas now, I mean, kind of anything goes, either. And that means that there are a bunch of different languages that that people are writing, and some are writing very great kind of tonal way that kind of looking to the past. Like pretty melodies and things like this, and others are writing in totally a tonal way very dissonant. Very kind of complicated rhythmically. And I mean, I think it's all really and sorry, and others are kind of relying on technology on electronics, special effects, and it's all super, super interesting. And so I feel lucky, because I have a lot of relationships with several contemporary composers, and they're all very, very different from one another. And so um, so that's, that's something

Scott Benner 58:31
I have a lot more to find. Can I ask a question like, to the real nuts and bolts question that I've never quite been able to make sense of in my head? The bow is nothing more than horsehair.

Alisa Weilerstein 58:42
No, it's it's a wooden stick and with with horsehair and, and then the frog is? Well, I mean, some of the older bows were made with an endangered tortoise shell. Unfortunately, they both are not made that way anymore. And actually haven't been for quite some time. But um, and then there's some some metal too, to tighten the hair.

Scott Benner 59:02
But then why can you pick up one bone? Another bone make the same sound with it?

Unknown Speaker 59:06
They're not exactly the same. They're not.

Scott Benner 59:08
Yeah, so do you hear the difference in the bow and then change?

Alisa Weilerstein 59:12
Uh, I mean, I have two bows. There's one bow that I really play with and one kind of one bow that I just I have is kind of an extra in case my bow needs to be to have a kind of serious repair or

something bad happens to it basically No kidding.

Scott Benner 59:28
See, that makes more sense to me because I if you've ever watched someone like I don't know what the terminology is, but you the Bogot's role during while it's making notes and you're like, you're more on the side of it, you're more in the center of it like and it's and I just thought like how can it be the same for everyone? So

Alisa Weilerstein 59:44
she makes it? Absolutely that's a very good question there. That's absolutely not the same. And those are, no bows are all over the place in terms of the weight is always slightly different. The and even the type of horsehair that some people prefer just in case It can be different. How do

Scott Benner 1:00:01
you choose one is that like Harry Potter? A little bit. I just find you. I love

Alisa Weilerstein 1:00:07
those broomstick scenes are the are the ones you know?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:10
Like choosing an instrument?

Scott Benner 1:00:12
No kidding. So you've Wow, that's really listen, I don't know how else to tell you that I think what you do is really genuinely amazing. And it feels magical to me. It really does. I don't I, I hope people I'm going to try to put enough of your music in this episode that people will want to go find the album and listen through Oh, also, that'd be me. I really want them to it just my life would not be the same. If people didn't write music for the cello

Unknown Speaker 1:00:41
then they wouldn't be

Scott Benner 1:00:43
I like it fine mixed with their stuff. But I it it doesn't get when it gets pulled out in front is is what I like. What's that? Um, there's a thing that your your mom put out recently, there's a track it's called Walt Whitman. Do you know that?

Alisa Weilerstein 1:01:01
I haven't heard that. Actually. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to listen to it.

Scott Benner 1:01:04
And but the violin is just kind of the it's it feels very American to me. Almost like folk folk music.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:12
Oh, yeah. Well, he puts out a lot of that.

Scott Benner 1:01:14
Yeah, but but the violin I can't think of the guy's name. This is so insulting Edgar.

Alisa Weilerstein 1:01:19
Edgar Meyer is the bait is the bass player

Scott Benner 1:01:21
is the bass and he's there. And then there's a violinist and maybe and it I can look Hold on a second. And it just it the violin takes over. And I love it. And at the same time, like could you shut up so I can hear the cello. And so I was like, I'm gonna find it for you. And then I'll let you out of here. I know you have a life. And I I do want to tell you a story. So we were supposed to record the other day. And it didn't it didn't go well. We just got timezone messed up like you said, You're the people who were helping you get this set up believed you to be your site. No, no while you were in I want to tell you the rest of it because the rest of it is hilarious. Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris feel alone. Oh, really? Okay. You anyway, it's, it's I love that. It's a short piece. I really love it. But anyway, so the night before I was going to record with you, I'll end with this. My computer, the one I'm using right now, the one that has 63 recorded, but not released episodes of this podcast on it just shut off and wouldn't turn back on again. She says so I spent the entire night. I literally found the courage to erase it and put it back on from a backup, which was, trust me I was like, I my wife's like you think you we're gonna throw up and I said it and so. And so I re backed it up. I got this computer online, five minutes before you and I were supposed to record at eight o'clock in the morning Eastern time. And I was like I did it. I did it. And then you weren't there. I was. I really? I have to be honest with you. I was relieved. But um, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 1:03:03
well, it worked out for the best and I'm

Scott Benner 1:03:05
100% that but in the so I woke up at seven in the morning to the to the the backup just about being done. And I started getting nervous and I put your music on and it calmed me down. And so I just stayed chill and I waited for it to happen. And then it all worked out for the better because I was probably exhausted. It probably wouldn't have been as much fun as I hope this was no this is great. I really appreciate you doing this. Pleasure a ton I I don't know just means the world to me.

Just a huge thank you to Alyssa Wallerstein for coming on the show and talking about the cello and type one diabetes. I just had the greatest time. You really should check her music out at Alyssa Wyler stein.com alisaweilerstin.com. I'll put a link in the show notes to her website, as well as Alissa social media.

I'd like to thank Alyssa his record label pentatone for allowing me to use cuts from her latest album Bach Cello Suite here in the podcast. For those of you who don't love the cello as much as I do, I want to implore you to just try the cello suites take a few hours and just absorb it. It's absolutely life affirming and life changing. And Alyssa does as good a job with it as anyone I've ever heard. I'll leave you now. With Alicia's version of the prelude from sweet one, please go find her in Apple Music Spotify, anywhere you listen to music weilerstein Bach, you won't be sorry.

If anybody's listening who knows Shay ku con a Mason, please tell him. I'd love for him to be on the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you soon.

---

Please support the sponsors

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate