#986 Restorative Conversation
Therese Martinez has type 1 diabetes and an interesting idea for a nutrition podcast.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 986 of the Juicebox Podcast
today I'm going to be speaking with tourists. She's had type one diabetes for 20 years, and we're talking about eating really in this episode nutrition and gut health and digestion. I really enjoyed this conversation with trees. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. are becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget drink ag one.com forward slash juice box to get started drinking ag one don't forget also a double don't forget if you will. The offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com And you can get a test drive of the Omni pod with my link Omni pod.com forward slash juice box where it see what you think for free. The diabetes Pro Tip series has been remastered the audio is magnificent. And it will be rereleased in the podcast feed very soon. At episode 1000. Look for it. If you've heard it once. Listen again, if you've never heard it, oh my my What do you miss it a lot. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom not just Dexcom the Dexcom G seven continuous glucose monitoring system, use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To cozy Earth Athletic Greens only pod all of them use my links to support the show.
Terese Martinez 1:55
I am Teresa Martinez. I'm a registered dietitian and certified personal trainer living up in Spokane, Washington.
Scott Benner 2:06
Alright, Therese, here we go. So we started recording quickly because we were chatting beforehand. And we wanted to record you'll you'll learn if you start a podcast, there is no conversation worth having if it's not being recorded. Gotcha. Eventually, you'll be having an interesting conversation with somebody, you'll be like, I don't want to waste this here.
Terese Martinez 2:27
I feel like I've noticed that with you and Jenny, sometimes it's like that you will have like been talking off or you're planning on talking off and then you will have come on just to like record it. Yeah,
Scott Benner 2:37
well, it happens a lot. So anyway, you were just saying that you were gonna start a podcast about tell me what it was about what it's going to be about.
Terese Martinez 2:44
So essentially bridging the gap between folks that are interested in intuitive eating, and don't really have the knowledge base to figure out how to kind of utilize nutrition in a healthy fashion that doesn't require a lot of, you know, recording and over analysis of intake. Loot, usually why people come into intuitive eating in the first place is that they don't want to do that. They want to resolve the relationship with food. But helping individuals come into a space to utilize nutrition effectively. And then also pulling people from the other end of the spectrum that are into like, optimization, I'm not sure if you're familiar with like, biohacking and just kind of like orthorexia, and just the other end of like super duper, health focused individuals that are kind of trying to find their own balance with how to utilize that knowledge. And again, a healthier way to resolve the relationship with food. And so that's kind of like the gist. And so there'll be a lot of like, nutrition education, Women's Health Topics, some nerdy science stuff, and and then a lot of, I would say, more conceptual ideas around nutrition, and health and body image. And just Yeah, trying to kind of bridge the gap there.
Scott Benner 4:14
Is that idea of intuitive eating, is that from the book, or is that not where that idea started?
Terese Martinez 4:20
You know, and there's kind of a rich history with intuitive eating. But yeah, there's a there's foundational literature that, that that started with the book, and then there's kind of been, let's say, just like webs coming off of it. So for me, I'm not a certified Intuitive Eating counselor, like I have done a lot of work with it personally. And then additionally, with some clients, it's more my goal is to help people trust their bodies more. And I do that by helping them heal their bodies, to which they can kind of navigate and trust their hunger cues and Hunger signaling more. Versus Yeah, because it's otherwise if you have if you have a compromised metabolic system, and it's really hard to actually be able to trust your, you know what you want to eat. And so because a lot of times, if you are used to eating a certain way, for example, if a person consumes a ton of sugar, there are physiological effects that make you crave sugar more, right, so it's like, you can think that you are trusting your body because you're listening to what it wants. But ultimately, it if you create a healthier Foundation and the body it will kind of crave more appropriate foods to then again, facilitate more appropriate hunger signaling, if that makes sense. But I'm also like, very of the mindset. I do not like to, you know, take foods out, I don't really, um, kind of like all foods fit type of approach. But
Scott Benner 5:58
yeah, what's your background educationally?
Terese Martinez 6:01
So I have a bachelor's in kinesiology and Master's in dietetics. Nutrition and Exercise Physiology. Okay.
Scott Benner 6:11
And you have type one. Yes. Yeah. How old? were you when you were diagnosed?
Terese Martinez 6:16
14.
Scott Benner 6:17
And you're how old now?
Terese Martinez 6:19
34.
Scott Benner 6:20
That was 20 years ago. Uh huh. So easy.
Terese Martinez 6:24
I got I got using math for I was thinking about that. Thank
Scott Benner 6:26
you so much. I appreciate it. That's a pretty long time. That's regular an MPH, right?
Terese Martinez 6:32
Like when I was diagnosed what I did, yeah,
Scott Benner 6:34
do you know, you remember what insulin you used in the very beginning? And
Terese Martinez 6:37
I honestly want to say that I don't think I was ever on regular.
Scott Benner 6:43
Oh, you okay, you might have been right at the cusp, right?
Terese Martinez 6:46
I feel like I've like, forever been like a nova log gal. But I'm
Scott Benner 6:51
so sorry. Um, my math is terrible. Like, I got so excited because I knew 34 minus 14. But that's it's it's 2002. I don't know why I said that. I had I had you in the 80s. For some reason. It's my fault. Yeah. Okay, so do you use a pump?
Terese Martinez 7:07
I do. I'm on the tandem. Okay.
Scott Benner 7:09
Do you like it?
Terese Martinez 7:11
I do. I am someone that really manipulates basil a lot. And so I don't do control IQ. I really like having the ability to kind of, you know, do Hi, I don't know, like 50% Basil prepping for a walk. Or, you know, if I'm seeing my blood sugar drop. I really liked the ability to manipulate basil. It's one of the biggest reasons I don't go on MGI. But but I'm not, you know, and I'm so used to the tubing now as well. That it's
Scott Benner 7:45
Yeah, I like it. Like, excellent to use the CGM.
Terese Martinez 7:49
Yeah.
Scott Benner 7:50
Dexcom. Great. Well, so at the very beginning of this, when before we were recording, you started, you were like, I'm gonna start. I asked you why do you have such a big microphone? And you said, I'm going to start a podcast? I was like, Oh, no kidding. So you said you might have some questions, I would do my best to answer. Just remember, if I say anything, that's that bums? You out, please. It's not my fault.
Terese Martinez 8:13
Yeah, well, I guess I would just be curious about like, the honestly, like recording, I can see we're doing zoom. And then what do you use to edit.
Scott Benner 8:24
So I would tell you that a lot of people would say not to use Zoom, but I have a lot of luck with it. And the way I record and edit, I think people would tell you not to do as well. So I am using GarageBand. I record in GarageBand. And I edit in GarageBand. And then I, I run my file through a program to balance out the audio between your track and my track. After I do editing, which is generally speaking, never for content. Unless I'm editing out like a curse word. I only keep the podcast clean because it keeps you in more countries. And because there are some people in the world that hear a curse word and it really turns them off. And for as many people who enjoy cursing, and there are plenty of them. I don't want to alienate anybody. So anyway, so I'll record an episode. And then when I go back, I really listened to it. I take out weird noises or breaths like I've been over COVID recently. And just now in between breaths as I inhaled, my breath bounced, like, like that, which you might not hear but I hear and I take it out when I'm editing little stuff like that. And then I record my ads put in the bumpers and output the file. That file then gets like I said, like scrubbed so that it balances your your voice in my voice. So we're equal volumes. And then I put it online to my company that that hosts my podcasts and they You're on your way.
Terese Martinez 10:00
So you do your own editing, have you considered like outsourcing?
Scott Benner 10:06
I mean, I'm not paying anybody to do that.
Terese Martinez 10:09
Yeah, I mean, if you're already pretty good at it, then I guess there wouldn't I just get a little overwhelmed with that stuff.
Scott Benner 10:15
I know people do it. And with success, I would imagine. But I'm in the position of being able to say that this podcast is the entirety of my job. So I probably work about 70 hours a week on it. And probably seven or eight of those hours are just recording like you and I are doing now. And then the editing is double that time. And then there's probably another hour for making ads and bumpers for each episode. And then there's supporting it on social media, and there is trying to monitor the private Facebook group, and then talking to the advertisers and having meetings with them. And now, that's pretty much the whole thing. So yeah, a lot. It's the whole job. I would say, though, I mean, if you can figure out the editing, I mean, how many episodes do you think you're gonna make like a month?
Terese Martinez 11:12
I'm thinking like, once a week is probably, I think that's kind of the
Scott Benner 11:18
doable? Yeah, yeah. Do you have guests? Do you think you're gonna use guests? Do you think you're gonna just talk to your talk,
Terese Martinez 11:26
I do like a feature already on social media, that's called carrot talk, where I kind of break down certain topics around body nutrition, you know, what's going on in the research realm, and, but mostly, it's kind of a, an opinion based, you know, little talk. And so I have, I want to do like a feature of that maybe twice a month or something. But I would mostly want to have guests, I really, that's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is just the interaction, the conversation, the discussion, the hall, I just, I feel like I was like, meant to do this kind of a thing. Because it lights me up so much to to learn from others, and just to also engage around these topics. So definitely you guys
Scott Benner 12:13
nice, they're going to be your biggest issue as far as sound quality goes. So there's that problem. That's why I use Zoom, because it keeps everybody on a reasonably level playing field. And they don't need to know too much to do it. You have to make them wear headphones. Gotcha. Okay, or else, your voice will come out of their speaker, and go back in their microphone. And it'll be doubling all over the place. And there's, you can hear the reason your room got quieter when you put headphones on, I'm guessing. But are you in a room that doesn't have a carpet?
Terese Martinez 12:50
It does have a carpet?
Scott Benner 12:52
Is it real thin? Or is it fluffy?
Terese Martinez 12:54
That's kind of fluffy.
Scott Benner 12:56
Okay, I'm wrong about that, then. So that was my first guest is that you were in a hollow sounding room? Is it a big room is that? Well, big windows? Okay, so that because I could hear you bouncing around in there. And it's, it's a thing that if you and I would have recorded that way. everyone's ears would have got accustomed to it. But I think the truth about a podcast is maybe before content, it has to sound good. You're not going to be successful. That doesn't sound good. Yeah, as a matter of fact, when new podcasts pop up in my space, if I become aware of them, I might click on them for a second. And if I hear a noise, I just immediately think, Oh, this one won't be this one won't challenge me in any way. And I'll just go away. I'm like, this isn't even going to be a problem, then it's terrible. Nobody's going to listen to all that crap. Like it's just spend a little money on your audio. Make sure you can keep up with it before you spend too much money on equipment, because it's harder than you think to make a podcast on a schedule.
Terese Martinez 13:59
Yeah. What? So using zoom, though, I've kind of heard read, whatever it was that they're like the internet connection, there's something about getting a software that I mean, it seems like of course, you need to have some kind of internet connection, but maybe not like there's something around that whether it's remote software's that are that you can use for remote podcasting. Is that familiar to you at all?
Scott Benner 14:25
What company are you thinking of hosting with?
Terese Martinez 14:28
I was looking at Riverside, but Buzzsprout
Scott Benner 14:34
I don't know them. But my hosting company does offer where you can record with somebody in the file, they record the file on online, like you don't even have to record it. You just get the file and when it's finished trying to think okay call that I'm clicking to try to find out. I think it's called the company's Libsyn and it's called studio files. They're a little they're expensive. They're like offensive bass compared to some of the other ones, but they've been around a long time. I've never had any trouble with them. They're actually really amazing. But yeah, I would I mean, if you can do that, where you guys just get on the same link and have a conversation and it's recorded remotely? That might be great. I have no idea. I've never done it before. But I like being in control of everything. So yeah, and the reason mine doesn't sound like zoom is because I'm not recording in zoom. I'm using zoom to bring in your signal. And then I have hardware here that takes the digital signal and makes it analog. Because I have an analog signal coming from this mic. This is not a USB microphone. And so I'm, I'm blending analog and digital together and then recording it as digital. Okay, yeah, I don't think the way I have the way my computer set up. I don't think anybody would come in here and think to do it like this. Okay, I think it might be because I didn't know what I was doing when I was setting it up. But it works really well. So yeah, yeah. Any other questions to win here? Howard? It's gonna be or how no one's gonna hear your podcast, probably. And how hard that is to take when that doesn't happen. Say that, again. I said, Do you want to hear how hard it is when you put all this work into something and put it out on the internet, and then look, week later and 30 people downloaded it.
Terese Martinez 16:20
I'm preparing myself for the resilience needed, more or less, but also getting into just because of the dang enjoyment, you know, like I'm approaching this just almost a kind of hobby. So I know that again, with all of the work, it might get a little bit more taxing than I'm anticipating and how much of a hobby is it going to be, but but I really just anticipate a lot of juice, getting a lot of juice from the conversations and kind of hoping that that continues the drive to create and educate others. And that being sufficient enough, even if I'm not reaching that many people, but yeah, I agree
Scott Benner 16:59
with that. 1,000,000% Because the person who started making this podcast, whoever I was, then my knowledge of diabetes is exponentially larger than that now. And it's not because I found that experience in my home, or in my life or my daughter's life. Although, yes, but it's the having the conversations over and over again, and saying something and then one day thinking, oh my god, like how do I never think of that before? Yeah, no, like, that's, that's the thing that it does more than anything for the listener and for you as the host, is it kind of gives you a place a space, an amount of time where you can without thinking about anything else? Really just delve into this. Whatever your topic is. Yeah, yeah. It's like giving yourself a Master's class and not knowing what to teach yourself when you start.
Terese Martinez 17:53
Yeah, the evolution. I'm looking forward to that.
Scott Benner 17:57
Terrific. Yeah, I really, I think it's amazing. I having said that. You've got me on the day. At some point in this afternoon, the podcast will achieve its 10 million download.
Terese Martinez 18:08
No way. Today is the day. Oh my gosh, kind
Scott Benner 18:13
of crazy. This is January of 2023. And in January of 2015, I launched the podcast and it had slightly over 1300 downloads that month. The entirety of 20 of 2015 had, I think 26,000 downloads for the whole year like 12 months. This month, the podcast will do well over half a million this month.
I don't want to brag but that was five months ago the podcast has over 14 million downloads now. Keep on rolling. Why am I here? Oh, I know. dexcom.com forward slash juice box. The continuous glucose monitor that Arden wears could be in your home. All you have to do is go to the link and get it you can get the G six or the G seven Arden is we're in the g7 we love it small and easy baby love it love it love it goes right on click click Done. Warm Up 30 minutes done, hardly weighs anything. She can't tell she's wearing it. It's difficult to locate under her clothing. You know what I mean? When you can be like, Oh, I see somebody's device very hard to see dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. But here's why you really care. When you're wearing a continuous glucose monitor when you're wearing the Dexcom. You can see the speed and direction of your blood sugar plus the number. What number is it? What direction is it moving in? How fast is it moving in that direction? Are you kidding me? In real time on your iPhone or Android device? You know when people say the greatest thing since sliced bread and they argue about If it's air conditioning or whether it's Dexcom dexcom.com forward slash juice box, I'm going to give you an actual example. Right now I've opened my phone, click swipey with the finger Arden's blood sugar is 142. She just ate about an hour ago. And she's had a cortisone shot recently. So we're using more insulin than normal. And we're able to be aggressive like that, because I can see her blood sugar in real time. So her blood sugar started, right before the Pre-Bolus, around 90. Yeah, about 95 Pre-Bolus did a good job held around 110, she meant up a little bit 30 minutes after the meal into the 140s made it as high as 148. It's coming back down. Right now I see 142. I see she's moving a couple of points every minute. And I can see the angle on that graph. I know her blood sugar is heading back where we want it. And looking at all of that, and interpreting it in real time for you, right on my iPhone, you can do this to dexcom.com, forward slash juicebox. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in now. And links at juicebox podcast.com. To Dexcom. And all the sponsors, please consider using them.
Terese Martinez 21:25
My gosh, that's just bananas. Scott. I mean, like, fat, let's like 2015. Like you've been doing this for a hot minute. And I mean, just even being a part of the Facebook group. It's like, it is the it is there's so much going on there. I mean, like the the the amount of people that have been impacted. I mean, it's just wild. I can't imagine just how like, that feels for you. I don't know, I think
Scott Benner 21:52
it's very satisfying. Yeah, it's humbling, which sounds like a thing people say, but it really it really is. And it took it took so well, to give you more context, a half, half of the 10 million downloads came in like the last 12 months. It took me I don't think I've ever said this on here. But it took four years to get to a million. And I didn't know how I was doing. I had nothing to judge it against right. And then a another diabetes podcast that started just a few weeks or maybe a month or so after mine. I forget exactly when honestly, it was long time ago. I noticed they didn't like announce a million downloads. And I was like, well, maybe they're just not going to. But then like a year later that podcast was like we have a million downloads and I thought okay, I got there a year sooner than they did. Like that was the only thing I had to judge it against. Right? I had no idea. I was just I was judging it against itself and nothing else. But then this outside thing came in. I was like, Okay, well, it made me feel like I'm like, Alright, I must be doing okay. Yeah. And then the second million came only 12 months after the first million, so four years to get through 1,000,005 years to get the 2 million. And then 676 And seven, year six and seven. Took me from 2 million to 5 million. And then year eight went from five to 10. Yeah, I have no idea what's going to happen this year. I've never leveled off which I'm going to knock on something. There's always like, but but the randomness of it. Trees. This is the point is that rough numbers. You'll hear people say there's like 4 million podcasts in the world, but there aren't, there's 4 million part RSS feeds. So somebody got the idea to start a podcast, got you know, got the name held on to the name, you know, got the RSS feed for it never did anything with it. Of those however, many millions of of of part podcasts that aren't actually published, I think about a half a million of them publish on at least a monthly schedule. And 90 I forget if it's 95 or 96% of those half a million don't do enough downloads to interest in advertiser. So 4% of a half a million podcasts are the only ones that have ads on them. And that's that for the ads don't need to be important. I'm using it as a as a metric for how many downloads that the right stuff, right. So too you can have an incredibly popular podcast in a niche and it not ever rise to the level of like, like, you know, I don't know a sheet company coming along and saying we want to buy sheets. You know, we want to sell sheets on your thing, right? Well the reason that popped in my head is because I just had a sheet company contact me about buying but so but it's it doesn't make it not impactful because for all those years prior to when the podcast got bigger. I was still Seeing it help people online. And that was the whole value of it in the beginning, you know, just like, wow, look at this. And then it gets to the point where you start thinking about, you know, if it reaches 10 people, can I get it to reach 100? If it can reach 100? Can I get to 1000 1000 10,000? You start thinking that way. And then that's about time. At least it was for me. Like, do I have enough time to put into this to grow it? And that's when the advertising became important? Because they're, no, no, just because I could ignore other adult responsibilities and put them into the podcast.
Terese Martinez 25:35
Was there was there ever self promoting you did like did you reach out to like, doctors offices or like other I mean, I know, Jenny, Jenny, how early did Jenny Come on?
Scott Benner 25:46
Jenny was on in the first year as a guest. Okay, I liked her a lot. And she never left my head. And then I had her back. And then I thought, I want to do something more with her. And then I asked her if she would help me make the Pro Tip series. Okay. And that was the first time and Jenny's not an employee. She doesn't like make money.
Terese Martinez 26:05
Right? Right. Right. Does that? Yeah, I was just thinking it's like, because I'm sure she probably like mentioned it to some of her, you know, her patients, right. And so like thinking if there was any, any other like promoting that you had done or just let the podcast do its thing and kind of hope that people others would like talk about it, if they listened to it and got something from it. Like just leave it up to to those webs? Or did you do self promoting?
Scott Benner 26:32
I genuinely believe that the only thing that can grow? A podcast is word of mouth. That's it. I don't see how you could do. I mean, think about your own life. Have you ever been served an ad for a podcast? Probably not so much. No, they tried a few years ago, when Malcolm Gladwell his podcast came out, he got behind it. He was pumping out Facebook ads for it. And you can argue and maybe it worked for him, but I don't know what they spent on it. You don't I mean, I don't think you can advertise a podcast. I think you I think it's like a I don't know, it's like it's Hold on a second. Why is my dog barking? There's people in the house. Hold on a second. Why tech? Somebody? Do your job. And stop that dog? There we go. That's the my wife. We're home today for the she's on for the holidays that I so anyway. I don't think you could spend enough money to advertise your way to success. Yeah, I think you have to put out a thing. And this is gonna sound pompous. But I don't mean it this way, like people either like it or they don't. And if they do, then you have to hope that they tell somebody else about it. You just the entirety of the game.
Terese Martinez 27:50
I mean, I rave about the podcasts that I listened to, you know, like, constantly like talking about them. That's one of the reasons I wanted to make, but it's because I just like I get so much from them. So I can I can see that. And you're
Scott Benner 28:04
not alone in that, either. Because there are people who go above and beyond to try to help me get the word out about this podcast. And you know, like, I hear people say, like, Oh, my I got my doctor to listen, or my neighbor or I bumped into somebody somewhere who had a pump, and I told them about it. It's all just, I mean, listen, I think I think this podcast is entertaining. But I think at its core, it helps people. And I think that's why they're willing to tell other people about it. Because there are certainly there have certainly been refused to this podcast and say, the content of this podcast is amazing. I hate that guy. But, boy, that's like the best thing anybody could ever say. It's like, oh, I listened to you. And your little podcast, even though I don't like you. I was like, Oh, you must really must really be good for you. You know. I mean, that's, that's pretty much it. It's it's a grind. And you know, six, I've never I was thinking this today. It's so funny that you're talking about this. Because as I was approaching 10 million, I'm gonna like write a post to thank people about it. And one of the kinds of themes that popped in my head while I was thinking about the post was that the podcast, I'm very proud, and somewhat disappointed. It has never experienced any kind of viral phenomenon. Like, I've never gone from one to 10 or from 10, or from 10 to 100. It's always tiny bit of growth. And it plateaus, and then it jumps. And then it plateaus, then it jumps and plateaus. But the jumps are never like wow, like, you know, I don't know what must happen when someone goes like on the Joe Rogan experience and says, you know, I have a podcast about this. Then the next day, they're the top 100 of all podcasts or something like that. Like I've never I've never had an experience like that before. And I I think that that's why the podcast is stable. And I think it's why the online community is stable as well. So as much as I'd like this See the numbers just jump. I think that it's better for the people who listen to the show if it grows consistently. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much it. I mean, I wish you a ton of luck. It's it's a lot of work. And I mean, do you have a good a good focus? So I think yeah, good. Thank you.
Terese Martinez 30:19
Thank you. Yeah, I'm really I'm excited about it. It's, uh, I don't know, just kind of trying something new and finding something that gives me you know, juice where I can also like, help other people. It sounds like a pretty, like a win win kind of situation. So it's a
Scott Benner 30:36
great way to spend your time. I can tell you that. Yeah, totally. Do you want to practice? I mean, you want to interview me? Or do you want to move on and talk about diabetes, but I want to talk about gut health and some other stuff, too. So yeah,
Terese Martinez 30:47
no, yeah, that works. Cool.
Scott Benner 30:51
Well, we'll let you, you can think of some of the questions and ask me at the end. I so in your intake, you talked a little bit about eating disorders, substance abuse and coping was this from your personal experience? Or is this professionally?
Terese Martinez 31:05
Personal? Yeah, it's a big reason why I got into the field that I
Scott Benner 31:10
did. What happened? What was first?
Terese Martinez 31:13
Yeah, so. So timeline wise, diagnosed type, 114 years old, pretty active individual, right, like, did play sports growing up. And I remember, I was at soccer practice, and I just like, I could not drink enough water, I was going to the bathroom constantly. And I think I had spaghetti for dinner previously before practice. And I had been losing a lot of weight. And, and, you know, then that night, I got this really crazy bad headache and went to the doctors, blood sugar over 400 got driven to Seattle Children's Hospital, and they diagnosed me and in any case, you know, got put back on insulin. And I actually don't remember, like, a lot of weight gain being an issue. But I remember, that was when, you know, I started focusing more on food as one would, you know, when they have this good diagnosis, and the seeds started to get planted of the shoulds insurance, right? And then being 14 years old, going right into high school, I now have this kind of bombardment of pressure to fit in to look a certain way to also like getting this kind of, you know, input from people's magazine. And you know, the real housewives or whatever it was at that time, where there's, of course, massive focus on the way that I should look and things that I should be eating and shouldn't and so it just kind of seeds were planted, then and watered, then I just kind of consider like them being water from a bunch of different sources. And I remember a breakup I had in freshman, my freshman year of high school. I, I don't remember like, why I thought that this was an option. But it was the first time I engaged in my eating disorder bulimia, where I purged. And it it didn't, it was kind of like a one and done thing at that time. But then it it grew in my sophomore year and then junior year and senior and to this full blown eating disorder combined with having type one diabetes, where I was hiding in the bathroom stalls getting myself insulin in high school because I didn't really want I didn't want people to you know, I didn't want that attention. I wanted attention but not for that. And so I was trying to highly overcompensate with from my diabetes diagnosis getting like, you know, really good grades in school all like IB classes, high level classes, making varsity and all the sports like really trying to separate myself from this condition. When in reality, I was just really fueling the the disorder. The substance abuse didn't quite happen I think until maybe late high school and then for sure, in college and
Scott Benner 34:25
can I ask my question, you said a breakup like did you like have a conscious thought? Like if I was thinner, this guy wouldn't have broke up I'm assuming it's the guy I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, wouldn't have broke up with me.
Terese Martinez 34:38
That's a really good guy. You don't know how many times I thought about this Scott, but I don't remember having that. Like I just remember thinking like,
Scott Benner 34:47
if I look different if I was different somehow, the kind of
Terese Martinez 34:51
I think honestly though, it was like maybe I need to like look a certain way then to make sure I will be appealing. and to others, you know, I find that when I like growing up, I was never, like, no one's ever really commented on my body in a negative fashion. And so I think there was a lot of fearing what would happen if I were to not maintain the look that I had. And so there was it just started with control, right? It was just it was a, it was a means of controlling my body so that I could control how other people thought of me. You know, in my mind, that was how it kind of was. And then, you know, when especially when my body essentially, quote unquote, failed me with having diabetes, it's like, you know, what else? What can I make sure I am in control of since I am not in control of like, the inside of my body, apparently. And so. Yeah,
Scott Benner 35:54
any pressure from parents? Like, snide comments, or just like, you know, that mom thing when they say, like, Oh, you look so pretty. You look like you gain weight, like that kind of stuff. All right. Any of that?
Terese Martinez 36:07
Not so much. I mean, I wouldn't say it was anything out of the norm of what everybody else would be saying, you know, if a person what you'd hear too, like, Oh, you look so good. Did you lose weight or like a lot, even towards me, but like you hear it, you know, when you hear people say that to other people, then that means that like, there's this kind of translation where like, oh, losing weight equals good looking that way equals good equals attention and equals, like that self of like that affirmation. And so even if there was nothing directly towards me, because I saw it with others, I had felt the pressure to maintain something myself.
Scott Benner 36:44
Do you think that that's, I mean, people have said to me in the past, like, Oh, you look good. Did you lose weight? And it's never, like, thrust me into an eating disorder. Do you think there's like a mindset that, that makes that a fertile field? Or? Or? Yeah, a brain chemistry? Maybe not mindset? Like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I'm asking. I'm just trying to pick through it.
Terese Martinez 37:04
Yeah, for sure. So I think it's a it's a multifaceted, right. So it, it kind of depends on the individual. And what I considered. So this is a term I'm not sure if you know who Glennon Doyle is, but she has this, she has a term called the gas and, you know, everybody's got this kind of like stamina and the gas can be, you can apply it to a lot of different topics. But for example, the gas of external pressures, people have to like, look a certain way and be a certain way, right. So basically, gas can be magazine pictures, it can be diet fads that get thrown into your face, it can be you know, social media, it could be your family, it could be the doctor's office, it can be telling people to lose weight, or you know, whatever it is, like, there can just be this bombardment, this reiteration with your peer group, you know, what you see how you see guys talking about other women and like, just all of that, right, so, this is the gas and, and everybody experiences a different degree of it. And they also have a different stamina for it, right? So, like, I know, I know, women that have, like, you know, really dealt with, you know, parents that give them crap for looking a certain way. And then, you know, getting bullied because of their weight or whatever, and they are some of the most confident like, screw you kind of people. There are right and then there are others that just don't really have that degree of exposure. And I'm not, you know, like, like, for you, for example, you know, you probably have them have had, like a much different childhood and experience when then, you know, like, a female growing up, you know,
Scott Benner 38:58
yeah, Nobody's expecting me to be anything like this. Seriously. Yeah. Nobody has any. I've never once heard anybody look at me, oh, my god, Scott would look so much better if his thighs were thicker. Like, you know,
Terese Martinez 39:10
the pressures, the pressures that you have, like you had externally and then how that translated internally, you know, like, are probably very different. And there are just like, so I mean, it just it gets so it's so deep Scott, like, we it's not just like, I want to look better, so I can get another like a guy like because how many or you know, whoever I'm attracted to that might be like, what I'm told is is attracted to this look. Yeah, it's a really It's like a It's a self worth thing and a respect from society. People crave, I mean, how many? How many people are married, that you may know, that still talk about diet, they want to go on look better, and they're in like great, flourishing relationships. It's like, well, they're good to go when it comes to finding us. nificant other why are they still trying to look a certain way? And a lot of it is acceptance, it's insecurity with how they they fit in and in this society, and and what they and what others might think of them, right? Like, what does looking unhealthy equate to? Does it mean that they're lazy? Does it mean that they, you know, aren't prioritizing their health? And what does that mean for the individual? Right? And so it comes down to a degree of self worth, that we have been told for our whole lives. And then additionally, that, you know, we aren't going to be lovable and accepted. If we don't, which is the order that there's the narrative that we are and that people are unhealthy and certain bodies that do not fit that mold. And so it's just been?
Scott Benner 40:50
Yeah, I'm so sorry. I thought you were done. Like, so that's, that's basically, when you're saying told You mean, like, by external influences, not necessarily saying the words directly to you, but the things that other people find important or popular or something, you look at those things? And you think, Well, I'm not, I'm not enough of that. Whatever that thing is, that's being told being told is just seeing it outside.
Terese Martinez 41:19
Yeah, the the gas, the exposure to to that, or Yeah, or even for for individuals that they are told specifically that they need to lose weight to I mean, it can be much more direct, it just never was, for me.
Scott Benner 41:33
It's fast, I find it. Like, the whole thing is really interesting. I mean, it sucks to be like to say that about the way people, you know, struggle, but it is fascinating. It's fascinating to see two people in the exact same situation. And one of them just acts like it's not happening and the other person seems very impacted by Yeah, totally. Yeah. It's just really, it's fascinating. For the person that's happening to, it's terrible, but from an outside perspective, it's just, it's endlessly interested by it. So, so the eating disorder stuff turns into substances, you mean drugs,
Terese Martinez 42:14
mostly alcohol. And, and that was, I mean, I don't want to say a natural evolution, because I definitely know you don't drink and a lot of people that like, never got into drinking in the first place that like, never been hungover, which is like, wild to me. But like, just because of where I was in my life, like in like, later on in high school, kind of, like, I don't know, what the groups that I was hanging out with, it was just around, it was around at parties, and then it just got to be an escape. You know, and after a lot of therapy, I mean, so many years, I had made this connection with alcohol and diabetes, where, you know, since like, given the exhaustive nature of managing your blood sugar every single minute of every day, alcohol, and, you know, drugs, in general, can be a wonderful relief from that duty, even though it's not that it gets gone. But you can kind of feel like, it's not there for the time being. And I think I did that, rather, subconsciously. And then, in addition to the, like, you know, the narrative that is society telling me that, you know, the way to have fun is with alcohol, and this is how you get attention from boys. And this is how you can, you know, like, maintain popularity and whatever all of that was, too. But I also had made that connection with with, with diabetes and alcohol for a while,
Scott Benner 43:51
can I ask a question that's gonna sound really harsh, and I don't mean it to, but I've gone through it in my head three times, I don't know how else to say it. Go for it. What is and I'm not talking to you directly. It's the conversation. When you say like, you know, using drinking as an example. And like, this is what I'm supposed to do to gain acceptance and to meet boys and etc. And like, where's the line that says, like, you could have also just said, Well, that would work, but I'm not going to do that.
Terese Martinez 44:19
Yeah, I guess that would have taken more influence of or, like, knowing the other routes and having those look appealing. You know, I guess at the time, nothing else really had the same kind of appeal. And, I mean, even like my family, like my parents have drinks and like they don't like, you know, get drunk or whatever, but like it's been around so I'd always like just assumed that that was the way the truth in life, you know, you know, yeah, it's just like the light. It's like, that's how that's the next step. up, right? It's kind of like, go into college and getting a job and a 401k or getting married, like all of that thing. It's like, oh, this is just part of what you do in life. And, and I wish I knew differently on a lot of those things at this point, but, but that is, you know, being one of them for sure.
Scott Benner 45:17
It's just, it's fascinating to me, because I had no good modeling growing up at all. Like not, and my kids had good modeling and around this topic, and I don't know, like, and you hear people say things like, Oh, I went to therapy, and now I'm doing much better. And you think, well, maybe they wouldn't have been cool if they could have gone to therapy before it happened or forget therapy, but like, if someone would have just told them, like, it feels like it feels like, what I hear you saying is that I grew up, I didn't know any better. I, I fell into these things. At some point, they became overwhelming, and I realized I shouldn't be involved with them. A therapist explained to me the right way to be. And that's what I do now. Is it does that, like, at its base level? Am I following that correctly?
Terese Martinez 45:59
Yeah, I mean, to a certain degree,
Scott Benner 46:03
there's an aspect of it, I'm missing, I just don't know what it is.
Terese Martinez 46:06
Yeah, I think that like, like 100%, having, like, different difference hadn't like intervention more or less, like at an earlier age, to intervene with the behavior, but be it my eating disorder, or alcohol, whatever, I think would have benefit. And that's why I would also, like, I've got five, almost like, Well, four or four nieces at this point. And so my, I have massive intention of like really facilitating positive body image and nutrition and like, and anything to kind of help them see how they can really have fun and get juiced up without substances, you know, all of that because of my own personal experience, and wanting that kind of, you know, those other options and other the understanding to be different. But ultimately, I also like, how No, through the therapy and the continued introspection and self reflection and evaluation of like, why I continued the behavior for so long. And now the way that I am not, and I'm not saying that I am, like, without issues at this point. But the continued evaluation provides, like such, I don't know, like a much more well rounded understanding and therefore a better ability to help others and continue to help the healing of others that have experienced similar, you know, concerns and issues as myself. And just to get on like, nipping in the bud essentially, right, get ahead of it before things get worse for other individuals.
Scott Benner 47:53
No, I mean, it's I don't think there's any obviously an answer. And I also was not saying I'm perfect. I'm just, you know, just around drinking. As the as the example. I don't understand. I don't get it. Like I just none of it makes and I don't mean it like pejoratively like I don't get it, what the decision you made. I mean, like, it doesn't strike me at all. Like, I can't, I don't know how to articulate enough that you could there could be you could fill this room with drinking happiness. And I'd be like, Well, I gotta leave this room. Like, I want to, I want to leave here now. And I don't know why. Nobody in my family was drank. There is no like drunkenness that I saw. There's, I mean, some drinking my dad drank beer, my mom would have wine periodically. There weren't nobody was a teetotaler, but nobody, I'm just saying people weren't falling over at events, you know what I mean? Like, and so I don't have a perspective, even from either, like, dret drastic side of it. It just, I just know that when it's happening. I don't know what to call it. Like, I want to call it common sense. But that seems insulting. So I'm not saying that. Because I don't, I also don't think that's what it is. It just, it just I repel that idea. Like, we're like two opposite magnets when it happens. And I couldn't begin to explain the science behind it. Which is why I find it really fascinating. But it's also terrific to hear people tell stories like this, and and see how they came out the other side of them. Yeah, and I'm in a particular place right now, because somehow my schedule got, this is gonna sound odd. And my schedule somehow got so full of young women who have tried to commit suicide over the last seven days. And I don't know how that happened. It wasn't on purpose. But I have now recorded like three episodes in a row around that topic. And I'm just like, my brain is deep into why do things happen to people? Yeah. So,
Terese Martinez 49:57
I mean, I just kind of go back to the You know, the analogy of the gas like, I mean, because I feel like if I didn't, I mean, alcohol is kind of complicated in the fact that it is addictive as well, right. But you have these different like influencers to and then your own desire to like kind of fit in, I suppose into these certain social circumstances that may, you know, have it around, and, and then it just gets reiterated and reiterated, and then all of a sudden, you've kind of like have this developed habit. And if you, you escaped that initially, then it seems like of course, you wouldn't have the appeal. And then you're kind of on the other side and seeing like, behavior that doesn't look appealing. And you know, like, you're not, there was no seed planted of like, this is fun. Maybe I want to continue this. And so therefore, you just don't even have that route to deal with.
Scott Benner 50:57
I wonder too, how much of it has to do with the idea that I've never, I don't have any recollection of a time where I wanted to fit in with other people. Mm hmm. Like, I've never, I've never looked at a section of like, like as a kid, but like, Oh, those kids are really super athletic and play a lot of sports. I want to be part of that. Or there's the drug kids, I want to be a part of that. I never felt like that. I I sometimes feel like I wish people could see things the way I see them. And as a matter of fact, when I was very young, and people would ask me what I wanted to do for a living. I told them I wanted to like write books or movies. And when people asked me why I said, I would like if people could see the world the way I said, but that was my only like, childish answer. So I don't know,
Terese Martinez 51:46
Steen. Gosh, that's Yeah, that's cool, though. I mean, like, I am envious of that I feel honestly embarrassed, like saying
Scott Benner 51:54
the word I feel boring.
Terese Martinez 51:58
Well, no, I mean, like, it's like, yeah, like, I don't feel like anyone really wants to admit that they are driven for like to be accepted by other pupils so significantly, that they like drive themselves to damage their body and the degree that they do and like, I don't know, I'm part of like, What I also do a lot of like, looking into diet, bulimia, you know, just any eating disorders in general with type one, and oh my gosh, it's like, it just makes me My heart just breaks, like hearing what some of these individuals, you know, put their bodies through. Because of the the absolute terrifying nature of gaining weight. And it's like to me, like if I weren't to have already just, you know, dealt with an eating disorder for decades of my life. It's like, I would look at that and be like, How Why Why in the world? Are you doing this to yourself? It's like, how is it so important to do that, like, you're gonna lose a limb? What do you think about your, you know, your body then and it's like all of those judgments. But mostly, I just get so upset with the gas, like going back to it just like how society has like really catered to that narrative. And what that does to people to be, you know, to many people, at least,
Scott Benner 53:22
to give you an odd perspective, I've often wished that I felt that a little bit. Because I cared more about about my body. I've said on here before, and I won't go into deep detail, but I don't see myself. I see myself as my thoughts. Like when you if you asked me to describe who I am, I would describe to you how I think about things. And, and so I there's part of me that thinks that if I felt this is gonna sound ridiculous, but if I felt a tiny bit of the pressure that you felt a little bit of it might have been good for me. Because I might have thought, well, like maybe I should go for a walk. You know what I mean? And yet I don't like I don't know, I am aware. Now, that's not even fair. When I was younger, I knew I was chubby. And as an adult, I don't think about it. If I look at pictures, like I go back in history, there are a couple of times in some of my photos that I think I wish I looked better here. But it's because I want my kids to enjoy the photos. I think about the future I don't want them to look at it and think oh, like my dad was carrying 20 pounds. He should not hear. Like it's very little to do but if my health was impacted, I would suddenly care a whole lot. Right? You know, right. It's super weird. The lines that you draw on your head, you know?
Terese Martinez 54:46
Yeah, they're just the motives, right? Just all of yah,
Scott Benner 54:50
yah. Yah, yah, I don't have any like, I don't know, like I don't want to be able to throw something through something or lift something or I know I don't have any You desire to walk into a room and have like people look at me and go oh attractive like you know it means like I don't I don't have that feeling I'm the only time I'm aware of it if I speak on stage I and they want to film it I tell people I'm like you have to get above me like you cannot shoot up from me me from the ground up if you do that you're not allowed to use the as a matter of fact is touched by type on put out this big video of their last event that I know I was filmed for like an hour and a half for that I don't I don't appear in for more than a split second. And when I didn't know people somebody said to me like are you upset that you're not that video? I was like upset they listened to me. I said they are they are they're respecting my wishes right now. I don't want I don't want my chin shot from underneath so you
Terese Martinez 55:53
but then why would you don't care? Then why
Scott Benner 55:57
that's the only time I care. It's a double chin is the only thing I care about.
Terese Martinez 56:01
What is the double chin say about? You
Scott Benner 56:02
have no idea. I have no idea. I hate it though. I really dislike it. If I got plastic surgery tomorrow I would have my my I would have the fat under my chin sucked up. Ah, that is the thing that I would if you gave me five grand you were like you could have to spend this on plastic surgery. That's exactly what I would do. So I don't know. I can't tell you why. It's the one thing about it's the one thing about my appearance that if I see it I'm bothered by. But if I don't see it. I don't think of myself that way. Yeah, I don't know how to explain that. So
Terese Martinez 56:34
yeah. Yeah, just kind of interesting, because it's still something right. It's still some it's still. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
Scott Benner 56:43
well, I don't think anybody doesn't care at all. Like they're right. Right. That's I just have enough that. I don't know, I've joked about it on here in a number of different ways. Like, I think everybody needs like a little bit of narcissism, like the healthy kind, where they can just be like, I don't care about what you think. Because, you know, I just, I don't usually double up recordings, but I've recorded already today. To know that there was, you know, 20 years ago, this young girl around the age you were when you were having these troubles, and she tries to take her life. And when, when her mother finds out her mother says like, why would you do this to me? And what are the what are people going to think? And like, and that, that kind of stuff. Like, like, that's the kind of stuff that I don't, I can't wrap any of my head around at all. And to see how it impacted her throughout her life. And by the way, she's doing terrific now. And that's what I was gonna say about your story, too, is I like talking about this, because at the end of it, most often what I hear is, I'm doing really well now. You know, and that's, that's encouraging. Because if we can't like, I think we just spent a half an hour deciding that there's no rhyme or reason for why some people react one way and some people reacted all the way. So in the situation in the reality where some people are going to react in the way you described, isn't it great to hear that there's a point where you can relieve yourself of it as well.
Terese Martinez 58:04
Totally. And I would like to highlight though, that I don't know if there is like, an after. Like that, I I saw this a kind of interesting, I don't know, I'm gonna make an analogy, where, you know, when people do before and after pictures for like weight loss programs, or, you know, whatever diets and stuff where the this guy was talking about how, you know, the after picture isn't really after, because it's, it's just that snapshot in time. Like, once you're done with the, like, the diet or whatever it is like when is after really like you have the rest of your life now. So like, what about the after and six months, a year, two years, all of that, right? So still, like, there's no finish line? Right? And I would consider like for me, I'm not you know, like, I'm not, I'm not sober. It wasn't really my intention to be like, sober. It was like my intention for all of my therapy, all of my self in inquiries. So introspection, like all that, like I continue to do every single day is to get to know myself better and then understand the behaviors because they serve a purpose. I think that that's really important to understand, like, they they're serving a purpose. It's not just like, they are there just because right like, like I would even say with a high school thing. It's not necessarily like you don't just get in and stick to Busan and and binging and purging just like because you saw like it advertised or something somewhere. It's like you find it works for you somehow for some thing. And so then to identify what that is, and to additionally do the work outside of it to help remedy when you take the behavior away, is really important. It's kind of like, you know, being a dry drunk, where you you might not booze but you're not connecting why you did in the first place to anything and doing any of the other work with it. And so I think it's incredibly important to understand that I'm not here to say that like you, if there's never a light at the end of the tunnel, I am better and healthier today than I have been in my whole life. And it's taken a lot of work, but a lot of really amazing, amazing work. You know, it's not like, Yeah, and so I just think that it's yeah, you and
Scott Benner 1:00:45
I are saying the same thing. And we're using different words, because I didn't mean, because I don't see people this way. I don't mean that as the example of the of the person from the other thing that I didn't mean that, you know, there was a time in her life when she was depressed, and she tried to hurt herself. And now, you know, she's a, I don't know, a pencil sketch of, of a princess. And everything's perfect. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't mean that. I mean, that, that it didn't kill her. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, she doesn't live in the same horror that she lived in at that moment. It's not the same, it might not be the same reality that a person who never went through what she went through, realizes. But for her, it's a massive improvement, and a real and a real life that she's living, where she's not tortured constantly. And is that is that about what you're saying? Like it's a process, and you're always going to be going through it. So you can never really consider yourself, I guess, completely free of it.
Terese Martinez 1:01:44
Yeah, yeah. And I wasn't trying to, like, know, anything you were saying I was planning on, I just didn't want to Yeah, there to be a misconception of like, I'm, like, clean and sober for 20 years now or whatever, you know, whatever. Why
Scott Benner 1:01:58
didn't take you though. Yeah. Thank you that way. I know, for sure. I
Terese Martinez 1:02:02
just wanted to clarify, in case that was confusing for anyone, but like, Yeah, I mean, 100%. And I think that it's just, I think it, it's so for me, when I like going through my eating disorder, it was so helpful, whenever I could just latch on to hope, right? Like, that was like that, I have hope, right. Because when you don't have hope, you don't have anything, when you're going through that crap. Like, you just feel like it's gonna be like that forever, and you are in the thick of it, and you are never going to get better, because you haven't proven to yourself that you can get better. And if you don't have any evidence for anyone ever getting better, it's really hard. So I think it's so helpful to say and see these stories, for others that might be struggling, that there is hope that things can get better. And there is also you know, like, it's also just frickin life, man, it's just a journey, and there's gonna be like, there's there gonna be ebbs and flows to how a person, you know, comes to the other side, or lives on the other side and goes back to the other, like, the former side, and then that comes back. And, you know, it's like, it's just understanding and giving yourself grace. And the journey, I think, is just equally as important as just trying to have that time like for my and my experiences, like having like time, quote, unquote, clean of disordered behavior. So, yeah, but yeah, I think we're kind of saying, you
Scott Benner 1:03:37
know, 100% i. So here's a little tip for your when you're making your podcast, sometimes people say things, and then you say it a different way. So it gets reiterated. So the person listening has time to listen to a complex idea and hear sometimes I'll say things because I'm putting myself in the shoes of the other person who's listening, but I appreciate your were you I wasn't worried that you thought like, No, you idiot. That's not what I meant. But, but But it's worth talking about, because it really is. And it's worth talking about in depth. Because I do think that that's, I think that I think that both things can exist at the same time that you can be a person who's experienced the thing, and is never going to be quite free of it. But it doesn't mean that you have to live like shackled to it either. Oh, 100% Yeah, so that's all Yeah, very good. Okay, so what do you know about this? gut health stuff, because I want very badly to bring more evidence to the podcast, but every time I look into it, and I pay attention to people were talking about it, I think ah, wacko. And then I don't listen anymore. Yeah, I've seen you listen to the show, don't you? Yeah, yeah. So there's, there's like things that I've like, I've learned that are working for Arden. And for me, you know that half clearly to do with the balance of whatever exists in my stomach and my digestive tract. But have you had any personal experience with it?
Terese Martinez 1:05:11
Yeah, so a lot of my research has revolved around the gut microbiome. And it's one of the targeted areas in like, with what I do with my own, in my work right with my own clients, because of the the nature of the gut involving everything else in the body, right. So like, I talked about people kind of improving their relationship with food and developing Body Trust, and then healing the body, kind of from the inside out to help again, facilitate more accurate hunger signaling, and again, kind of go into more body trust. So the gut microbiome, and I have not listened to I'm not sure if all the episodes that you've had with God specialists or anything's,
Scott Benner 1:05:57
well, I've had no Oh, because I can't I can't bring myself to invite one. Because every time I look, I go seems right, then they get a little crunchy hippie, weird, and then I'm like, No, nevermind, like, so I can't find the one. I can't find the balance between medical certainty and the ability to speak around medical certainty. Like, I just don't find that person if you want to be that person. Hey,
Terese Martinez 1:06:22
yeah, let me see. Let me see how I can roll this out. And if it feels kind of appropriate, in that sense. So yeah, um, so I kind of got into the gut microbiome, honestly, when I started learning about its relationship with immunity, and it was like 70 to 80% of your immune system resides in your gut, I have an autoimmune condition. What's the relationship here? Right? So then I was kind of dug into like how the health of your gut and like, impacts your immune system, how a compromised gut microbiome with the perfect storm can trigger autoimmunity. And so then I was like, okay, so how, how do you improve the health of your gut. And it's really interesting, and I don't know, just like a quick, a quickie little blip on what the gut microbiome is, for those that might be a little confused here. Because I was told this one way of explanation, and I really like it, it's a good little visual. So you know, you got a tube from your mouth to your anus. And so technically, like, everything inside that tube is like outside of your body, which is kind of wild, but But you go down your digestive tract, you know, esophagus, stomach, small intestine, you've got some bacteria in your small intestine, you actually have a whole mouth biome to I mean, there's tons of bacteria in your mouth, that actually impact your gut and the rest of your body, but we'll just keep going down down the track. And so some bacteria in the small intestine, if you have too much bacteria in the small intestine, you actually can have something called small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, which leads to a lot of symptoms like bloating, and indigestion cramping a little bit higher up, you know, in the tract. And so, a lot of people have issues sometimes even when they eat kind of healthier foods, like cruciferous vegetables, or garlic and onions, and they get bloating after that, which is unfortunate, because it's their foods that are promoted to be really healthy. But in any case, if you have bacteria in the wrong places, like the small intestine too much, it can actually cause a lot of GI distress. So if you keep going down into the large intestine, this is where we have the bulk of these bacteria. And we've got a diversity so that basically the different kinds of bacteria and then the ratio of sort of To put it simply good and not so good bacteria, and so where people, so these bacteria play a massive role in health, they can impact their skin health, there's like Hormonal Health, inflammation in general, how you digest foods, how you utilize nutrients of foods, and it just that it's there's a whole cascade, there's a gut brain connection, there's like a ton of different ties to mental health and the state of your gut. And so having the appropriate distribution of bacteria, and the right diversity, the diversity and the ratio is really important. And that's one part that's like the biome, but that's one half of gut health. The other half is the lining of your digestive tract and how important that is in maintaining this proper working unit. Right. So if you have a compromised lining of your gut, that gi tract, then you can continue to have issues with inflammation and problems kind of cascading out throughout the rest of the body. So when a person is trying to help heal their gut, they want to feed the right bacteria, and in the right fashion, and then additionally, consume nutrients that facilitate keeping those tight junctions along the digestive tract, well tight. And so that's kind of the basis of, like, gut health and what it looks like,
Scott Benner 1:10:36
I have to say that I've seen enough of it in my life by personal life that I believe in it. And, and I wish there was more targeted ways to deal with it, because, you know, it runs the you run the gamut of like, someone on Instagram, dancing to a song and then pointing to their screen where they're like, eat sauerkraut, dude, and you're like, Okay, well, I can't eat sauerkraut. And then it's, you know, take a take a probiotic, but they don't tell you which ones or how many and why, or when or anything like that, or what it is I'm looking for. And the only the only things we've figured out so far is that a digestive enzyme assists Arden with her digestion. And we assume her digestion is poor, because of her pancreas being wacky, that she wasn't eliminating on a schedule. So we added magnesium oxide, which completely helped with that, you know, the probiotics didn't seem to be working when she wasn't digesting food well, but after she was digesting food, well, the probiotics seem to have a good effect on her
Terese Martinez 1:11:46
in terms of regular bowel movements, in terms
Scott Benner 1:11:49
of just overall general happiness with the process from your mouth to your butt. Got it? Yeah. Because because we tried to throw probiotics and I've put this this way a couple of times the podcast, but she was not digesting our food well. And we tried to throw probiotics in there. But it felt like you were throwing like a tiny chlorine tablet into a cesspool. Like it just didn't have any chance, you know what I mean? So once we got the digestion running, and the elimination running, then I think her stomach as an example was probably a more, I don't know, reasonable place to try to put the probiotics again to see those again. And everything seems to be going very well since then.
Terese Martinez 1:12:28
Good. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, there's an there are a lot of kind of, I mean, for sure, like digestive enzymes can help sometimes there's even like, issues with stomach acid, right, and just had to know there's a lot of a lot of ways a person can tackle like improving digestion that like that aren't necessarily like just gut microbiome like concentrated but it does have a huge role in that and I just like to also reiterate the role that it hasn't like so many other functions in the body and it's tough like you mentioned I mean, people can say have a probiotic have kombucha and sauerkraut and like these are all great you know, yogurt great for your your gut health and when you have when you don't treat the individual as an individual and or if they don't understand where to get the appropriate information. Like I said, you can have small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, you can take a probiotic those guys are going to set up camp in the small intestine and you're going to make that misuse worse. Right? So you it's important to understand where you state where you are, like with your own health, and then get things catered to it and so some of these other I don't know, kind of like, like even not necessarily just the magnesium but some people will latch on to okay, you know, this you know, Metamucil helped me go to the bathroom, so I just take it every single time I need to go the bathroom versus understanding why in the world are you not going to the bathroom without Metamucil? You know?
Scott Benner 1:14:02
Oh my god, Teresa. What a great example. I had trouble my whole life. And Metamucil fixed it for me. I thought I thought but it didn't really it just masked it it just made sure that everything ran through so efficiently that I couldn't outwardly I wasn't certain of my problems being there anymore. But now that I do what Arden does a little bit of a digestive enzyme when I eat probiotic every day the magnesium oxide every day I eliminate fine and I don't use the fiber anymore. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I thought the fiber is what I was missing
Terese Martinez 1:14:43
right and to a certain degree, like you may not have been getting adequate fiber like sure otherwise, right? Like if you're looking at your kind of again, roots root issues like perhaps you you did need to essentially like feed certain bacteria to kind of get things like help with gut motility, which is basically the movement of, you know, crap. And, and so, like, but I would still be curious to kind of look at the intake in the first place, you know, because it's the same thing with a digestive enzyme. It's like, okay, why isn't the body producing enough? And sometimes it's a very legitimate reason, and it's very okay to be have these things. But I, I do really like to keep backing it up, for lack of a better term, I suppose, you know, to understand why you are the way that you are. Because otherwise I get just concerned about band aids and then not then can you know, kind of compounding issues down the line. And so it can be really helpful to have that evaluation.
Scott Benner 1:15:47
Right? Well, I, I was I was having problems with stomach acid. And I don't have those problems anymore, either. Oh, okay. So it's just interesting how just getting everything moving? Was and you're I did not do my kids both did, like a gut health test where for people who don't know, you, basically, you sit on a piece of cardboard and send it off to somebody and they test it. And, and my, they both came back were in different states of being and my son was really pretty close to being like, perfect as far as the testing went. But our didn't had too much of what you were talking about. She had too much. I guess, bad growth. And not enough. Not enough good. But like I said, and they wanted to give her these things, but nothing worked. But I think it was just because the process inside of her was working so slowly that her stomach was just inhospitable. Yeah,
Terese Martinez 1:16:45
yeah, totally. Well, the other thing, too, I mean, I noticed this, I mean, across the board with some with with clients, but when you when you start having regular bowel movements, like people don't understand like, that's like, for, like, for anyone, but for women, especially like having appropriate bowel movements is a is a way to detox estrogen. Like, that's how you get rid of estrogen in your body, one of the ways and like, so it can help facilitate better hormonal balance in your body as well, which can regulate periods, it can regulate cycles in general. And also like moods with all of that, like, there's a massive tide of the hormonal stuff. And then and skin issues, too. I feel like a lot of folks that would type one even have like, a lot of skin issues, and it would kind of take a look, okay, we already are compromised, we've got an autoimmune condition. So is that like, when had knowing the connection that the gut has with immunity? Like, where else? Is this having a tie with the rest of the manifestations of symptoms in our body? Right? And so a lot of times we start catering to the health of our gut, we can see this like, you know, cascade of events. Otherwise, I mean, mental health, skin health or mental health. I mean, it's crazy, just by pooping better. Like
Scott Benner 1:18:11
no, I I am not in a position to disagree with that. I obviously I don't I don't know the I don't know the ins and outs, but there's so many weird euphemisms. I don't I don't know the the science behind it. Obviously, I don't have any specific knowledge of it. But I can just say that, anecdotally, it's been really valuable for the people in my house. So an art is art and skin did clear up sick, not completely, but significantly. She's now she's that she's now back to the the skin irritation on her face that you would expect from a person her age, instead of what it was prior, which was pretty significant. Yeah. And she also added I don't know if you've ever heard of this, of asset Hall? It's a It's, um, see how the company describes it?
Terese Martinez 1:19:05
Oh, is this inositol? Like a
Scott Benner 1:19:09
ova? Is it oh, it
Terese Martinez 1:19:11
looks like a brand of inositol. And that style is like supposed to be extremely helpful for folks. Yes, yeah. Kind of rate. Like, I know a lot of folks that have PCOS taken off at all, but otherwise just regulation where if you don't mind sharing why she is taking in and if it's helping that
Scott Benner 1:19:32
yeah, because she was getting her period all the time. And a monthly nosebleed and was you know, low on iron because of how much she was bleeding and you know, couldn't stomach certain foods from like hormonal stuff and she started taking it and it really it's amazing how it helped like she she straightened out her stomach and added this to her life at the same time.
Terese Martinez 1:19:58
Oh my gosh, I just makes me feel so good for her like because yeah, that's both of those
Scott Benner 1:20:06
tortured before. Yeah. Especially for a couple of years. Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. That's how long it took me to figure this out, by the way. Oh, because because, and you know this because you're of type one, but because so many symptoms mimic other things that can be autoimmune. So you just chase all these things down different pathways, and you're like, Okay, it's not that it's not this. It's not that it's not this, he gets to the end. And finally, the doctor that was helping us was just like this, this part could just be hormonal, maybe. And we'd still we tried birth control pills, which didn't help anything. It stopped. It regulated the bleeding, and it stopped the nosebleed. But she but Artem was like I don't want to do this, like I don't want to take birth control pills. And like they made her feel other ways that she didn't enjoy. And she's, you know, it was the fastest haul, which you're right. It's a brand name for something. It's an all in. And that's a tall supplement. Just really stunning how well it helped her. And then she came home for a break from school and got off her schedule and stopped taking it. And things got wonky again. Then Then she went back on it now she's been building it back up again. And she's starting to feel better and better as time passes again. So wow, really fascinating. I'm dying to know why the nosebleed?
Terese Martinez 1:21:26
Yeah, that is super cute. Did you have any input from practitioners the like, had theories around it or
Scott Benner 1:21:32
No, nobody's really, but it's very on a schedule. Like when it happened. It happened once a month almost to the day. But wasn't that but wasn't around her period. There's part of me that wants to like, I don't know, like one day we'll have somebody look up her nose and see because she'll still get one every now and again. But it's not like it used to be.
Terese Martinez 1:21:55
Does she get a headache when that happens? Or is it just kind of like a random
Scott Benner 1:21:58
just a nose to nose word nose where it comes out of nowhere? It stops and it's over. But it's a fair amount of blood. And oh, yeah,
Terese Martinez 1:22:09
I wonder Does she tracker like, like ovulation set like her just other things. But there's I'm just wondering if there's a fluctuation particularly with her hormone levels at that time?
Scott Benner 1:22:18
Yeah. I mean, I, she we used to, we used to have a period tracker when we were trying to figure it out that we were using, I'm sure I'm certain like, just anecdotally again, I'm certain that's what it is. I was paying attention to it for years. Like, you know, like Sherlock Holmes. And so but yeah, I don't know. It gets faster. If you told me there was a if you told me that Arden had a what is it was PCOS when there's like parts of your lady parts get outside of your lady parts? Right. And this is what I'm thinking. If you told me that there was those cells and Arden's nose, I would have believed you by what was happening. Yeah, yeah, sure. I don't know if that's possible. But I would have believed you. It was that cyclical. It was.
Terese Martinez 1:23:05
Wow. Hi. I'm like, does she does she get them now? Or no, not something and also tall or the loss at
Scott Benner 1:23:13
all. She got one while she was home, but she stopped taking the basketball. And then we sent her back and I haven't heard she's been taking it daily again, and I haven't heard about a nosebleed since then. So I think it's got some it's hormonal for sure. Yeah.
Terese Martinez 1:23:30
Um, did you look up like endometrial endometriosis in the nose?
Scott Benner 1:23:40
Just now when I said it out loud for the first time that I just did to the nasal nasal
Terese Martinez 1:23:47
nasal mucosa is an exceptional localization for endometriosis. This is a PubMed article. Is that the one that you saw pop? Yeah, we report a case observed in a woman who developed nasal tumefaction associated with epistatic epistaxis. That had followed a cyclic repetitive pattern since puberty, surgical excision of the nasal nodule confirm the diagnosis of endometriosis.
Scott Benner 1:24:14
All right, well, that's what we'll do it often comes home for summertime. That'll be exciting for
Terese Martinez 1:24:18
has she gotten any scans otherwise, like just in terms of cysts or endometriosis? Like, down, she lower,
Scott Benner 1:24:28
she had a cyst by her fallopian tube that she had removed once. She had pain that we couldn't impact and the doctor removed it called it called it a pocket of fluid. You know, technically speaking and Arden had to take it out and for a while she felt better. So yeah, I don't know. But Ardens looked into it. She came to me one time she's like there's a doctor in I think Georgia she told me that does endometriosis removal as a surgery. They It said it's very like, obviously, like, specific work that they do. But she's been very good lately. So, but yeah, I'll tell you what the nose thing though. It's so it's so worth going to an ears eyes, nose and throat doctor saying that to them and letting them look at her nose. Yeah, just makes sense. You know? Alright, that'll be, we'll do that. But that's on the list.
Terese Martinez 1:25:24
Yeah. Curious now that's I've never heard of that. So that was interesting. For me.
Scott Benner 1:25:29
I actually made myself a note. So, yeah. So is there anything we didn't talk about that you wanted to?
Terese Martinez 1:25:37
Oh, gosh, I mean, I just feel like I can talk on this topic all day. Um, but
Scott Benner 1:25:43
what do people do? What do they need to do for themselves? Or, in general, if you're having trouble eliminating or you're bloated? Or you just don't feel like that process works? Well, and you like, what do you do?
Terese Martinez 1:25:58
Due to the, like, unique nature of our bodies. Like, I just find that having someone that knows what they're talking about help you and take a look at, you can be really beneficial just because of the chaos that is the internet. Otherwise, that people feel like they really want to trial things on their own. It's just, I see this all the time, when people are trying like different diets, or they come they come to me, and they're like, I tried everything, and I you know, like I'm having issues with X, Y, and Z. And it's like, they'll it won't be very methodical implementation of whatever they're doing, right, they'll throw they'll start taking 17 different supplements at once, and it's like, and not really have any idea what's working, what's not, they will, you know, not really follow a way of eating very well, for a period of time to know if that's working. And so it's just really helpful to get the guidance of the steps to have what to what can be helpful to each I would say, like very basically, they're, you know, looking at your food intake and kind of seeing what you're like, feeding the bacteria. So you know, if you're, if you're consuming like a lot of sugar, a lot of carbohydrates, and this is not to like poopoo on either I eat both, I you feed certain bacteria, right? When you feed the bacteria that like the sugar, you know, for example, those bacteria start to flourish. When you have flourishing bacteria, they communicate with your brain to eat more sugar. So literally, it's not you that's like craving the sugar. When you are wanting it, though, again, there's variables to this and simplifying it but but you want to consider how you are nourishing the these bacteria, the good beneficial bacteria thrive off of what are called poly phenols, like plant nutrients and good and various fibers. So what I recommend for folks is trying to diversify the amount of plant foods that they're consuming. And with that said, not everyone can handle all the plant foods based off of the healthier gut like I mentioned with SIBO small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, sometimes the person cannot just like ramp up their fiber intake and their you know, their greens and their their fruits and veggies because they're, they can't tolerate it. But if you can diversify a little bit, you can then start feeding more diverse population of bacteria in your gut and that tends to be really beneficial overall for your health. Also watching things that aggravate the gut, right So ironically not ironic alcohol you know, it's definitely one that wreaks havoc in the gut, certain processed foods and you know, sugar sometimes more or not more, more often than not, I just like to think about what to incorporate in I really don't like to focus on what to eliminate and generally a diversity of plant foods and good healthy like, you know, well sourced animal products if you have the means to get good quality, it's it's great things like bone broth. I know that's kind of a little bit of a I don't know if that's the appropriate term right now but that bone broth of good quality bone broth where it's got that like gelatinous ation is really good for the lining of your gut, like L glutamine, glycine. They're like these are like very helpful nutrients and working on just kind of, you know, inflammation in general. Oh, herbs. Fresh herbs are rotten and like, roots like turmeric and Ginger and Garlic, those tend to be amazing. And they're one of the ways I like to focus on improving gut health because you can flavor up food that you're consuming with a really yummy, like herbs and spices. And there, that alone would be really helpful for your guts, you know, not necessarily changing a ton of the food you're consuming, but utilizing different, like herbs and spices are another really great way to help the bacteria.
Scott Benner 1:30:32
Wow, that's fascinating. Thank you so much. I and you have that all in your head? Which is really you'll be good at the podcasting thing.
Terese Martinez 1:30:40
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I love I mean, there's just again, so much more to talk about there's, and there's always, always want to talk about with relationship to food, as well, you know, I think that that's, I kind of like to, to help people give themselves some grace when it comes to shifting their food intake just because like, food is so much more than eat. That's not that, right. It's a habitual, cultural, emotional, psychological, physiological, like, there are so many reasons why you eat what you do when you do. And it's important for people to recognize that when they are trying to shift their dietary patterns, because otherwise, you feel like you just fail on white knuckling your way through this. And it is not easy to change what you eat, like you have myelinated pathways that that control a lot of your thought patterns and desires and cravings. And in addition to how your body is set up from child from birth, you actually set up your gut microbiome from birth. And so in any case, not just got related, but it's like, again, very come complex. And so I think it's really helpful for people to know that and recognize it, because it takes time to untangle, you know, diet culture crap that we're fed, it takes time to really learn how to eat within your means and ability and like and also figure out what works best for you. And stay consistent with it. And consistency is definitely key. But I really like to reiterate that because people get frustrated pretty quick. And it's it's tough. I mean, I study this, I've been like, learning about this for like, you know, the past 10 years and plus, but like more professionally in the past like 510 and I still have loads of work to do with my own self and it is like on the forefront of my mind all day every day. So it can take a while.
Scott Benner 1:32:52
Well I'm going to try drinking bone broth for a month to see if I feel differently is that a good goodly amount of time? Or should I go longer?
Terese Martinez 1:33:01
A month would be great like are you going to do I would say like, like how weekly how frequently I'm
Scott Benner 1:33:07
reading that I can drink up to a cup of day is that right?
Terese Martinez 1:33:11
Yeah, yeah, I don't think that you I mean it'd be interesting to trial it I would say you're probably good to go just have a few times a week but you can like I mean get after it if you want
Scott Benner 1:33:22
what it doesn't matter if it's chicken or beef
Terese Martinez 1:33:25
you know I would do both I personally find beef to be a little bit more nutrient dense but but also what are you what brand are you looking at a brand are you going to make it
Scott Benner 1:33:35
I'm not going to make it because I don't have a cow here that I feel like I want to murder I actually don't have a cow at all. But I but um I'm assuming I could also buy like bones at the grocery that's not the point. I'll probably buy it. So do I buy it like liquid reconstituted like what is there any way Yeah,
Terese Martinez 1:33:58
so there's like I don't I don't know if I want to throw brands out here that's appropriate but there are certain brands I can like let you know after something that are more reputable again, okay, so yeah, so like like kettle and fire tends to be a really good brand for bone broth. Epic those they also kind of have different flavors as well that I think are pretty palatable a lot of times people don't like to just keep bone broth up and sip it I kind of do but but you can include it in a lot of times I'll put it in like soups where I'm maybe it's like a veggie like a more plant based soup but I had in bone broth to ramp up the protein and other nutrients but yeah kettle on fire epic. I'm gonna say is it bonafide? Potentially
Scott Benner 1:34:46
I must have called when they named that one they must have been like oh my god this is available. Go Yeah.
Terese Martinez 1:34:53
I am I highly recommend for anyone else listening that has like I purchased like a grass that half of the grass fed cow every year. So I get a lot of bones and like the liver and all the goodies and stuff, and I just actually made a batch and the instapot you run it through a couple cycles with a bunch of different like herbs and things in it like it makes it. I mean, it looks like jello, there's like an oddly satisfying thing for me to like see that? Because I just know the nutrients that that means it has. But it really is. It can be much more affordable to make it your own self because like you'll I don't know if you see the cost of these things, but if you want to have it every day a cup every day, a lot of those are like eight bucks a pop. Yeah, so that's why I kind of was saying you don't have to do it every day. But again, it's you are your own and one experiment here, Scott. So
Scott Benner 1:35:48
yeah, well, I have nothing but time my children have abandoned me my son got a job out of state. My daughter's to college. There's nothing lasts, I can do whatever I want no
Terese Martinez 1:35:56
7070 hours a week podcast.
Scott Benner 1:35:59
Well, yes, I have very little time. But in the time I'm going to try Brumbaugh. Let's see what? That's okay. Yeah. Cool. What do you imagine that if I saw a benefit from it, what do you think I would say?
Terese Martinez 1:36:11
Oh, good question. I would say if you would kind of is there anything that you can pinpoint that screams inflammation to you with your body? Yeah, like the whole thing?
Scott Benner 1:36:23
Yeah, yeah. Okay, how about I don't eat very much food. I'm the fattest person who doesn't eat you'll ever meet in your life. Okay, yeah. and joint pain, like, just creep creepiness, not like, not like Ra, but like creaky joint pain, muscle tightness, like I'll like have, like, I'll get pulled muscles, but I won't really pull anything. What else stiffness in my bad, my lower back stiffness that goes away if I'm on a steroid,
Terese Martinez 1:36:54
okay, these are all actually really good. So I would, what you can do is just really take notes of how like, maybe even write it down, like on a scale from one to 10 how creaky you are today, and then you know, like, read it, and then, you know, start consuming the bone broth, and maybe write it like every week. So you can kind of see if there's, like progress in that regard, I would say, the, the joints for sure would be something, any kind of indigestion a person might have also, just because of you know, the nature of it kind of helping with that. And then even things like like sleep quality, could be something you rate, I don't know how you sleep,
Scott Benner 1:37:40
like a rock, but thank you,
Terese Martinez 1:37:43
then that can be sometimes for folks, you know, a lot of times they have their written in electrolytes, too. So having magnesium can and a good like potassium, salt, magnesium, like, those can also help facilitate better recovery if a person were to like, work out and have bone broth that can and then additionally, with the protein and the amino acid profile, like there that can help with soreness and achiness. And recovery from workouts or just recovery from life and things. But so those those would be areas that you can look at.
Scott Benner 1:38:22
And oh, I know, I know, you can buy half a cow somewhere. So
Terese Martinez 1:38:27
oh, gosh, yeah, that's I recommend doing that. I mean, I got this averaged out to be, like, 370 a pound and I got like, 225 And I mean, that's really good compared to what beef looks like in the stores these days. And, and the quality is just like, it's just, it's wonderful.
Scott Benner 1:38:47
Gotcha. All right. Well, I'm gonna go by I'm not gonna go buy a cow, but I am. I am going to try the bone broth. I do appreciate you doing this very much. I can't I can't thank you enough. Actually, we used up so much time. You can't even practice being a podcaster on me. We're out of time for you to ask me questions. Oh, shoot. Okay. Do you have one? Did you come up with one or no?
Terese Martinez 1:39:07
I honestly, no. I mean, I have a ton I'm sure I was when I was too busy talking to brainstorm.
Scott Benner 1:39:18
I'm just teasing you. If you asked me a question, I would just talk forever and that would not be fun for anybody. I love talking so
Terese Martinez 1:39:25
I kind of like a little bit in the beginning maybe for like asking about about the podcast and stuff was like a little mini interview.
Scott Benner 1:39:32
I would just tell you, it's difficult and time consuming and doesn't pay you back immediately. So if you can, if you can tough it out, and and break through to another level and people resonate with what you're what you're talking about and share it with others you'll have a great time and it will like it will be very fulfilling even that way not to say by the way, not to say that you can't make a podcast that 100 People hear a week and that that's not a great thing. It's absolutely terrific thing. I just I got caught in the place where I saw value. I wanted to help more people, the only way I could help more people was to get more downloads. And so you get brought into that, that thing where it takes a lot of time. And then Time is money. And if you you know if I need a job, right, like, you know, so how do you make money? Do something good for somebody and maintain the value? It has that? But I'll tell you what, man that's a that's a tight rope. So yeah, totally. I feel like I've done it. But every once in a while someone online lets me know that they don't think I have so to them. I say I'm trying very hard and I'm doing my best if you don't like it, start your own podcast. Exactly. Alright, hold on one second for me. Okay. Okay, thanks.
A huge thanks to Therese for coming on and having that great conversation. And I want to thank Dexcom for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast dexcom.com forward slash juice box, go get yourself a G seven, or G six right now with my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, go find the private Facebook group. It's free and it has just about 41,000 members in it now Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook, but I don't care what kind of diabetes you have. If you have diabetes, or you love somebody with diabetes, type one type two, lot of gestational, I don't care. Come find the group. It's fantastic. When you support the Juicebox Podcast by clicking on the advertisers links, you are helping to keep the show free and plentiful. I am certainly not asking you to buy something that you don't want. But if you're going to buy something, or use a device from one of the advertisers, getting your purchases set up through my links is incredibly helpful. So if you have the desire or the need, please consider using Juicebox Podcast links to make your purchases
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#985 After Dark: Coin Flip
My Anonymous Female Guest (type 1 for 25 years) talks about using drugs and alcohol beginning when she was 12 years old.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 986 of the Juicebox Podcast. It is not episode 986 Hello friends, and welcome to episode 985 of the Juicebox Podcast.
Today's episode features an anonymous female who's had type one diabetes for 25 years diagnosed at age eight in the late 90s. She's now an attorney. She's on today to talk about her life with type one, but more specifically about how she grew up and the drugs and drinking that started in her life at a very early age. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I drink ag one every morning and you could to use my link drink ag one.com forward slash juice box to get a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order. Would you like to save 40% off your entire order of sheets, joggers, towels all the good comfy stuff that cozy Earth has use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com And you can get 10% off your first month of therapy@betterhelp.com forward slash juicebox
this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod Omni pod makes the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash. You can learn more about both get started today. And see the pump that my daughter has been wearing since she was four years old at Omni pod.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored today by touched by type one checkout touched by type one on their Facebook page, Instagram, and it touched by type one.org. That website is where you're gonna get tickets to see me speak at the next touch by type one event in September. Touched by type one.org. The tickets are free, but a lot of people have already signed up. It's gonna be a huge crowd, we're gonna have a great time. I'll be speaking a few times during the day. And so we'll Jenny touched by type one.org Go get your tickets before they run out of chairs.
Anonymous Female Speaker 2:36
So I am a type one diabetic of 25 years. This is month is actually my anniversary of being diagnosed with type one back in 1998. So that makes me 33 years old, and I am an attorney in the southeastern part of the country.
Scott Benner 2:58
You say you it was 25 years ago? 25 years ago? Wow. That seems like such a long time. And you say it like that. And you were eight years old?
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:07
Oh, yeah. I had just turned eight, the December prior. So about a month after Christmas,
Scott Benner 3:13
like a belated gift. Yeah, exactly.
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:18
It was a great one.
Scott Benner 3:19
I just yesterday put a bunch of likes on my birthday wishes on facebook from seven months ago. Do you think those people will be confused when they turn their Facebook ads?
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:28
Probably but I love it. I hope that I hope it starts to pop up on people's feeds.
Scott Benner 3:34
Yeah. I looked at I was like, Wow, a lot of people wish me happy birthday. I never saw it. And then I felt bad about it and went through and read them all like them. And then I thought I
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:44
forgot that they even left a birthday.
Scott Benner 3:47
Oh, there's no doubt they're forgotten. Oh, yeah. No doubt they forgotten. But I, I as I was doing it. I'm like, Why do I care about like, why am I like I kept thinking like, maybe they're going to later see that and go. Why did he like that seven months later? What's wrong with him? You don't I mean? Right. Yeah. Okay. For certain I think that's gonna happen. Or your one of two things is happening. You have external speakers that are still on. And if they are turning them off, okay, I'm hearing my voice through your microphone. How's that? I don't know. I'd have to talk first. Testing 1111. That's better. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. So you are 33 years old. You are an attorney. And you've had diabetes for 25 years.
Anonymous Female Speaker 4:44
- That's right. Okay.
Scott Benner 4:46
Why did you want to come on the podcast? I know. But why don't you share it with everybody.
Anonymous Female Speaker 4:50
So I was on Facebook. I'm a part of the Facebook group. And I saw an announcement looking for Are people to come on and do and after dark episode and I thought, well, now is my time to shine, I've got plenty of things that could fall under the, the umbrella of after dark, plenty of shenanigans I've gotten into in my 25 years of being diabetic. And also to say, it all worked out. You know, I'm here and I'm fine. And, but not without, you know, some consequences and complications, but
Scott Benner 5:31
we'll find out. I appreciate you coming on doing that. Actually, the outpouring of, of decency from people, when I asked about that was really something like, I think at one point, I was like, I'm looking for somebody to talk about mental health impacts and stuff like that. And instead of what I thought was gonna happen, which is maybe I'd get a person to talk about it. I think I now have six episodes about this with six different people. And wow, a lot of people would say, Well, what are you gonna do with all that? I'm putting it out?
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:00
Yeah, I think it's really helpful. Yeah. They've been incredibly helpful for me. I know. Good, good.
Scott Benner 6:05
So you know, you you kind of ruined it at the end. You're not a natural storyteller. You're like, it all worked out? Because you said your attorney. So some people like to us, you know, Oh, yeah. But some people heard you're an attorney. And they think, Oh, God, it went terribly wrong. My parents would say otherwise, Oh, are they still paying for those loans? Or did they give them to you?
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:30
I think that they're just grateful that I've
Scott Benner 6:35
gotten really, okay. Well, let's find out.
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:38
If I'm being too hard on myself. No. Well,
Scott Benner 6:41
I mean, I can see your list here. Let's talk about it for a minute. So you, you're diagnosed as well, don't worry, I'll bring it all up. So you don't you're diagnosed when you're eight. And give me just a little bit about that. Because I feel like you're gonna have a lot of content. So difficult, easy, don't remember it. It
Anonymous Female Speaker 7:03
wasn't, I would, I would say it was incredibly traumatic. I hadn't really been able to describe it that way, until I got into therapy to realize that the whole situation was a trauma. I was sick. For most of my seven year of life, I got the flu. And from the flu, likely came the diabetes. So I just stayed sick. I started wetting the bed again, and throwing up and being very embarrassed about it. My parents kind of had an idea of what was possibly going on with me because my mom, bless her heart is a retired registered nurse. And so I think that they had good intentions of trying to shield for me what they thought to be true. But essentially, what happened is, I was told I was going on a vacation, pack your bags, and we show up at a children's hospital. And I didn't leave until a week later. And that was very confusing for me as an eight year old.
Scott Benner 8:03
They told you is a vacation?
Anonymous Female Speaker 8:05
Yes. Yeah. Yeah,
Scott Benner 8:11
yeah, that's a misstep. I'm gonna let you know. Right.
Anonymous Female Speaker 8:15
It was it was in, you know, because, of course, when we got there, and I realized it was a hospital, I locked them out of the car and refused to get out and made a scene and was rushed. Finally back to the ER, they knew I was coming. My pediatrician had called and it was a whirlwind of tubes in my arms, blood, poke all that. And just being told that I was type one diabetic. And the only context I had for that was Stacey from the Babysitter's Club series, I knew that she was type one diabetic. But in my mind, I thought that I was never going to be able to leave the hospital again for the rest of my life that this was it.
Scott Benner 8:55
Really? Yeah, you're one of only a couple people have ever brought up that book series. Really? Yeah. It's interesting, like people talk about it a lot online, but never bring it up on the podcast. And I always wonder like, why that just took me by surprise us that, hey, I have this image in my head of the old door locks and cars were the like the stem pulled up out of the door and you had to push them down. Did you like have to dive back and forth in the car and push down all the locks?
Anonymous Female Speaker 9:24
Yes, yes. And my parents, they had a keyless entry on the car. And so it was just back and forth, back and forth. Until you know, they could finally just do a door when that battle.
Scott Benner 9:39
They must have been like, why don't we just leave it in the car and go home? Are you the only are you an only child by any chance?
Anonymous Female Speaker 9:45
I'm not I'm the baby though. of three. Oh,
Speaker 1 9:49
well. Then same idea. Like I was thinking if your only child that could be like, well, we could start over. But like if you're like the youngest of three, I think you'd be like we have two that are perfectly functioning. Why don't we Why don't we just go? She was in the car, she'll figure it out. Right?
Scott Benner 10:05
Right. So you had a real? I know this is a hard thing to ask somebody to remember back 25 years when you were a child and everything. But did you have issues prior to the diagnosis? Or do you really think this kicked you into a direction
when you get to Omni pod.com, forward slash juice box and scroll past this picture, this weird looking guy from the podcast, you're gonna see some text says Get started today. And you're able to choose two different paths that you click on, check my coverage. To find out if your insurance is going to cover Omni pod and get started. Or you click on I'd like a free trial of Omni pod. I'm going to take that pod for a test drive. It's up to you. I don't care. Head to omnipod.com forward slash juicebox. And give it a try. Scroll down really read. Read the whole site, you're gonna see some stuff there that I think you're gonna find very interesting. Very interesting. In diddly doo. How about that the AMI pod is tubeless. You can wear it in the shower, in a lake, in the ocean in your pool. You thought that's not a big deal. But it is. Because every day you bathe, and every other insulin pumps gotta come off. Not the only pod it goes right with you. That way you're always getting your insulin. And you don't have weird high blood sugar's because you're like disconnected and then forgot to put your pump back on. That's not going to happen with Omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. My daughter has been wearing an omni pod every day since she was four years old. And she's 19. That's 15 years. Is it? 19 minus four? Yes, that's 15 years. That's a long time. Um, the pod has been a friend through this whole thing. Absolutely amazing customer service, quality product, you get what you pay for. And actually, my insurance covers it pretty much completely. So that's not really an issue. Okay, I never thought of that. Hey, maybe your insurance will cover to Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Go over there now and decide do I want Omni pod dash? Do I want that Omni pod five? What are you gonna do? links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com to Omnipod and touched by type one touched by type one.org. Don't forget to go get your tickets and check out what they're doing. Touched by type one is my favorite organization that helps people with type one diabetes. And I think you're gonna love what they're doing had touched by type one.org. Now let's get back and find out the answer to my question. What was my question? issues prior to the diagnosis? Or do you really think this kicked you into a direction?
Anonymous Female Speaker 12:50
I think I was predisposed in a lot of ways, just family history wise. And this was one of several things that just kind of nature and nurture met very well together. And it was off to the races from there.
Scott Benner 13:05
Gotcha. You got the wrong side of both of nature and nurture.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:08
I did I did. I'm sure
Scott Benner 13:11
you're very good at something else. Like for instance, technology.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:16
Yeah, in fact, I've been described as quite a genius as far as that is concerned. Yeah,
Scott Benner 13:22
by me, eventually, one day when I tell people that we've been recording for 10 minutes, but we've been on the phone for 30.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:29
Yeah, I think your your words were and I quote, well, this is not the worst I've seen.
Scott Benner 13:35
There have been some bad ones you did pretty well, actually, for somebody who turned it on and it wasn't working the way they expected. It must be a panic I've never asked before but you're like, oh my god, right? Like this. It's not working.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:47
Yeah. And then I'm like, now I just looked ridiculous. And like I wasn't prepared. And I as a type A person that drives me crazy to think that I've got everything under control.
Scott Benner 13:59
So so the pain was focused at you not at letting me down? Yeah, well, it's good. By the way, I don't know how I would have handled if you were if you said something like, Oh, I didn't want to mess up in front of you, Scott. I'd be like, Oh, God, I don't. I never noticed.
Anonymous Female Speaker 14:16
No, I feel like and I'm sure you hear this a lot. But over listening to your podcast and stuff. I think I have enough of a sense of you to know that. You really don't really
Scott Benner 14:28
like this. I don't have anything to do for like three hours. I was like, whatever this is okay, I was gonna talk to you, and then have a drink. And then I'm interviewing the CEO of tide pool at five o'clock. So Oh, yeah. And if people find that interesting, go back six months in the podcast and check it out. Anyway, after after you're listening to this and you're the seventh person who talks about stuff like this and after dark. So you kind of alluded to it a little bit. There's a little bit of family history what what would that family history be?
Anonymous Female Speaker 14:57
Substance abuse, alcohol holism specifically, mental illness, anxiety, depression, those sorts of things.
Scott Benner 15:08
You Irish? I'm sorry to just say it like that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:11
No, that's a fair question. No French actually.
Scott Benner 15:15
Okay. Still that part of the world over there? Yeah, I'm trying to get backgrounds from people when they talk about their problems.
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:24
And I think that that's an interesting way to go about it as well and kind of get those stats out there.
Scott Benner 15:30
Yeah. I mean, there's just some backgrounds that seem more susceptible to autoimmune stuff and other things. But interesting. Okay, so you grew up with alcoholism in the house?
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:42
Yes. And I don't know that I realized it, like recognize it as alcoholism. It was not like, the sort of thing where I come home from school and you know, Dad's drunk again, mom's you know, drunk again, it was more of an alcohol was just always present, always around. And it always looked like everybody was having a lot of fun doing it. And that was not the case at all.
Scott Benner 16:08
Yeah. Did you fall into it yourself?
Anonymous Female Speaker 16:12
I did very early on I when I was about 12 years old, and I don't even know what came over me. But my parents always kept the liquor cabinet stocked. And I came home from school one day and just thought I'm going to see what that's all about. And so started drinking somewhat regularly. It for 1213 year old after school.
Scott Benner 16:39
I'm gonna go with anytime you do it twice in a row. That's regular if you're 12. That's yeah, I mean, by the way, I used to watch general hospital after school with my mom. But this is a much you were way ahead of me. So So, so you, wow. I don't know like, to be honest with you. I hadn't gotten up to the drinking part. Like all that. In the lesson. I was kind of looking at it when we were first talking. And when you told me that your parents said you're going on vacation to the hospital, I thought they must have been high when they said that. But do you remember a bottle of vodka and a cigarette while she was saying we're going on vacation? She made she's going on vacation? Because you're going to the hospital?
Anonymous Female Speaker 17:25
No, I you know, that's kind of a common pattern in my family to this day is that people don't like to be honest and upfront about when stuff is really just not great. And we'll go above and beyond to keep it from people and shield themselves from having to, I don't know, maybe let somebody down or worry somebody were an intern. It was much worse, having no idea where I was going what was happening. In fact, getting my hopes up and excited because it was a school day that I was diagnosed. I was like hell yeah. I don't even have to go to school for the rest of the week. You know, and, and not knowing that was pretty terrible.
Scott Benner 18:12
I'm sorry, Catholic. No. Talian No, listen, you're just missing on all these
Anonymous Female Speaker 18:19
bark Irish and near miss them. Like it's yeah,
Scott Benner 18:23
I'm still on the bullseye just didn't hit the little.in the middle yet? Yeah. Okay. Don't worry. i The lady yesterday, I got so much of her life. Correct. I thought I was a soothsayer at one point. It's good for me to have to go again, to have this happen.
Anonymous Female Speaker 18:37
Alright, it's interesting to to hear what you think in, you know, just those assumptions. Because, yeah, just having never met me before. So I bring it Keep it keep it coming.
Scott Benner 18:48
That's fine. I just find there are some religious backgrounds that are very much about kind of protecting the vintage, you know, make everything look good. Doesn't matter what's happening behind the door, as long as the doors nice. And there's a brass knocker and all that stuff like we're good. Yeah. But that's also maybe human to, you know, I might be applying it to just all the Catholics I've ever met. Who knows. And so you're drinking on the regular at 12.
Anonymous Female Speaker 19:14
At least weekly? Yes. What do you drink, and I, whatever, had enough in the bottle that when I put water back, they would probably not notice. And I really don't know where that behavior was modeled for me. I certainly picked it up somewhere. And I started to also one of the more regrettable decisions I've made along the journey with diabetes is I took up a nice cigarette smoking habit at the age of 12. And really struggled to part with that all through my 20s and did not quit smoking successfully until a year ago.
Scott Benner 19:56
How did you enjoy mixing your downers with your OPERS when you were 12 Was it figure. I mean, what were you like? Were you like, Who's that guy that on Playboy magazine? This is now how I picture you in a bathrobe like the house. Yeah, I know picture you like Hugh Hefner for the scotch and a cigarette. You know, it's like four in the afternoon. You're watching Bugs Bunny. Like,
Anonymous Female Speaker 20:21
been a long day, a
Scott Benner 20:22
long day. I got this diabetes to keep up with everyone's wrecked around me. I got problems. Did y'all? I was gonna say sisters, I don't know why he gave me a vibe like you have sisters. But did your older siblings drink too?
Anonymous Female Speaker 20:36
You know, probably not like I did. But I would say they have their own issues that overlap all three of us. And so I've got an older sister and an older brother. And so brothers, the oldest by 10 years, my sister's five years older than me. So we're kind of spaced out.
Scott Benner 20:56
Was it one of those situations where if they saw you, or like smelled you, and they like you smell like a cigarette, that they were just like her? She's in the club? Or would they tell somebody? Or if they told somebody would nobody give a crap? You mean my siblings? Yeah. Like, would they rat? They think well, would your siblings rat you out? Or would they think it was good?
Anonymous Female Speaker 21:12
I said my sister did. Because we had this weird sister thing where we like, I think we could just hated each other when we were younger. We're super close now. But I think she felt like I took especially one she's the middle child, right? And then two on the sick one. And I'm getting all the attention. And she already feels like she's not getting the attention that she needs. And she truly had her own struggles. And I was the one that was getting the attention that I think she desperately wanted and needed.
Scott Benner 21:46
Okay. This is strange, but hold on a second. Remember how I told you I was holding my helping my son make cookies. He's in the grocery store asking questions about an egg purchase right now.
Anonymous Female Speaker 21:56
Oh, yeah. I'm curious now.
Scott Benner 22:02
So he, he's, he's cheap. And I've raised both of my children to be cheap. I'm very proud of this. No one will tell me. I am. Arden goes shopping. She picks up three things, but two of them back. Will like never. Yeah, will never buy everything in her hand. And right now he's like, can I buy the grocery store brand of eggs? I can get 30 of them for $11. But I mean, that's a lot of eggs.
Anonymous Female Speaker 22:32
Yes. Hold on. That is a lot of eggs. If you're gonna use all of them.
Scott Benner 22:37
Yeah, that's the question. By the way, three weeks ago, he had never washed a dish before. Now he's got the day off from work music, I'm gonna make cookies. And then he's five minutes later, he's like at the grocery store going. Like, I don't have enough facts. I'm very proud of him, actually. Because I think if this was you, you'd be high as a kite by yourself on a Friday afternoon.
Anonymous Female Speaker 23:03
I mean, yeah. This is like my impulse decisions. Like, yeah, I'm gonna make cookies instead of do what I need to be doing and all that. But this sounds like a whole different situation. He just wants to go hopefully sober. Sure he is.
Scott Benner 23:20
Neither my kids actually nobody in the house drinks. Good. But so here's the question. You said impulse just now. Like when you look back on it, were you trying to prove something? Because a 12 year old? I think I agree with you is mirroring, right. They're not like yeah, 12 You didn't say to yourself, I'm really uptight. You know, what I think would cut into this a little like Vaca, gimlet? Maybe? So like, you don't I mean, like, so you're just kind of mirroring? And then it just becomes a habit. Like, because I think, yeah, I mean, I know people get addicted to things at some point in life. But sometimes I think we just make a decision to do something. And then we do it because we think that's what we do. Does it make sense to you? Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 24:08
it does. And I think that, you know, it took on a life of its own, and it wasn't overnight where things got, you know, like really, really, really bad. I mean, some could argue that it's, it's bad when that's what a 12 year old decided to do. But I think on a level that I didn't recognize watching my my parents is that it looked like it was working for them. And I felt so horrible in my skin that it was just like anything to get out of that feeling for just a minute. I'll try it. Yeah.
Scott Benner 24:49
Okay, I take those points. I understand what you mean. Yeah. Didn't feel good in your skin. What does that mean?
Anonymous Female Speaker 24:55
Well, you know, that's already a difficult age. Either way, And there was a lot going on in my life at the time and at home and without going into too much detail about this. But my father had gotten into some legal trouble that was very public and political. And so I had that middle school diabetes, family just just kind of not falling apart. But everybody kind of goes their own separate ways and just deals with it the best that they can. My mom pretty much checked out for a few years, and I get it. And so it was Anna, I got to hanging out with the bad kids quote.
Scott Benner 25:42
Well, you probably you were probably a good friend.
Anonymous Female Speaker 25:46
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I
Scott Benner 25:48
just had to stop for a second. Like dad pulled away on the local news bed or? Yeah, really? Yeah, to tell me but definitely tell me when we're done. Okay.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:00
I will. I can send you the articles. A federal charge. Federal.
Scott Benner 26:06
Wow. I'm gonna guess racketeering. You don't have to tell me
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:11
that he there were there was a civil suit, or in alleging racketeering,
Scott Benner 26:16
yes. Yeah. It's my favorite word. It's one of those things that sounds horrible. And nobody knows what it means.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:22
Yeah, it's like tennis or something. Is that like, What?
Scott Benner 26:27
Is it like undue pressure or something like that? Or am I gonna have to look up racket theory? I'm not doing that right now. I've
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:33
let you associate it with.
Scott Benner 26:36
You broke up for a second. I'm sorry. That's fine. Can you hear me? Okay? Yeah, you get electronic. Sometimes, like, my voice comes back at me. And then it doesn't.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:44
Gotcha. Yeah. I'm not sure why. I am the technolog technology expert. So, you know, figure this out.
Scott Benner 26:54
I can tell by the way you pronounce the word. So technology tech. Okay, great. Oh, no. Are you kidding me? Listen to where we're at so far. You're drinking and smoking as well. Your dad's been hauled away. Your mom's checked out. You've had diabetes for four years. And you're over here thinking, I don't know if I'm a good guest. I don't care if my voice echoes back three times. This a great story. So
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:20
how can people pleaser it can get me into trouble sometimes.
Scott Benner 27:24
Are you really?
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:26
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A recovering people pleaser, I would say.
Scott Benner 27:30
Interesting. So does the does the drinking go to drugs?
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:35
Oh, yeah. And, you know, just a lot of experimenting. I would say yes to just about anything, even though like, I gotta tell you, it's got like, I was so unassuming note, like, just my my family and and who I was, nobody would ever ever, ever think that I was involved in something like that I was very good at at hiding that and keeping up a persona that would not maybe otherwise match what you would think someone you know, I'm getting at like,
Scott Benner 28:09
here. I know what you're just I know what you look like. And it's a mindful that this is how you are versus Yeah, versus what you physically look like. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. You look like the third best friend on a sitcom. Yeah. Yeah, you're cute, and you're pleasant, and you are unassuming. And you look like you look like America, like you really do. It's amazing. Ya know, it's part of what's messing me up. I think if I could see you, it'd be worse. I'd be like, this isn't real, right. And it's stopping me knowing what you look like is stopping me from asking my next question. Which of course, I'm obviously going to ask right now,
Anonymous Female Speaker 28:48
you're going to ask you after the ads.
Scott Benner 28:54
Did this go to sex at a young age?
Anonymous Female Speaker 28:57
No, it really didn't. I was kind of terrified about that sort of thing. I was so I had such low self esteem. I, I it went more towards attention. I wanted attention from other guys, but not in like a sexual way.
Scott Benner 29:18
First of all, thank God, finally something went wrong. Like seriously, like I was, I was very worried that the next thing you were gonna say was then I started you know, and I just, I'm happy to hear you didn't. But so you're doing those things. You're you said your house, you put it you're experimenting, which I now in my mind, I'm thinking of you lacing your weed with something, but I'm assuming you just tried a bunch of different stuff. I did. Yeah. And no one's pulling you out of this right. Like you're kind of living on your own but in your house.
Anonymous Female Speaker 29:54
Yeah, nobody knows. I mean, my at times my parents caught off Under like something was going on with me. I'll never forget. I was probably about 14 and I had gotten home from school and I've passed out. I probably took something I don't even know what it was. I would go into my parents medicine cabinets, drink on top of it, and I was passed out and that and my dad comes to get me because dinner's ready. And he's like, What the hell is wrong with you? So he, he knew something was going on? They they both did, but I think everybody had their own stuff going on that it was just kind of like, okay, we're going to keep our eye on that. But I think they think they thought I was smoking weed, which I had tried. But it was really, a lot of this is still a young age young age, but it was a lot of drinking their booze and them not knowing it.
Scott Benner 30:48
And pills, like if that you would find around the house. Yeah, you were just taking them by mouth, right? Yes, we're not crashing anything and snorting it or anything like that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 30:58
Not yet. Yeah. Oh,
Scott Benner 31:00
do we get to that?
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:02
Yeah, yeah. After that. That doesn't come until about 16.
Scott Benner 31:05
Oh, yeah. You want to wait, spread it out? Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:09
Yeah. How much of this did not grow up too fast.
Scott Benner 31:13
Don't grow too fast. Honey, will snort the ketamine later. So how much of this has to do with the diabetes? And how much of it is just the hodgepodge that is your life?
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:27
I think that at the time, I didn't recognize how much of it was diabetes. I think that I've felt I've just wanted to feel like normal. I was wanting to fit in. I don't know if I think it just added to my depression another another layer. And, and despite that, though, I was a wonderful diabetic. I and I still think I am and I don't want to put labels on it. Good, bad, right or wrong? Because it's hard, right? But I was keeping up all appearances and very involved in like JDRF and the American diabetes Association and I mean, I just looked like I had it all going on on the outside.
Scott Benner 32:19
Wow. That's fascinating. I didn't think you're gonna say that. Like, I thought we were gonna say, I bet yeah. When you were talking about like, holding it together, I thought you're gonna say like, maybe once he was okay. Nobody really yelled at me or anything like that. But you're like, No, I was at those JDRF functions in like, a pretty dress like, and everybody was like, Hey, everyone, look over here. And she is She Great. And you're like waving while they're raising money. And then you're right. Yeah. Then you're like, let me help you clear this stuff off. I'll take these glasses to the kitchen for you.
Anonymous Female Speaker 32:55
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we, my mom and I, we she did a marathon once. Her and I raised money. She put together a team and ran for raising money for the American diabetes Association. And we did a ton of works and out like brochures and did fundraisers and stuff and we raised $50,000. I think that for diabetes research, and we're active and benefits with the JDRF. And they wouldn't cease. We're great. I was one of the first kids honestly, that they put on an insulin pump. Because when I was diagnosed, there were Ursuline palsy had it. It was rare and Eudald. And hey, you broke
Scott Benner 33:40
up there for a loss. Your generation you broke up there for a long second. I'm sorry, you were one of the first piece people they put on an insulin pump and give me the rest again.
Anonymous Female Speaker 33:49
Sure. So you know, I was one of the part of the younger, like first young generation that started to go on insulin pumps, because when I was diagnosed, even though insulin pumps were around, they were rare. And if you had one, you were an adult, and so as probably around fourth grade, so this would have been 2000 or so are no i don't know I'm not going to do fast math in my head. But I was diagnosed in second grade. by fourth grade I was on an insulin pump and worked really hard to keep my blood sugar's I had fantastic doctors that are better research hospital just really helping me and then I'm not going to go off on too much of a tangent we can get there when we get there. But diabetes camp as well was a huge impact on my life and highly recommend it for anybody that has a kid with with diabetes.
Scott Benner 34:47
What a juxtaposition you are. So there's on one hand, you're completely not concerned with your health at all. You're drinking, taking drugs and smoking cigarettes. But on the other hand, you're taking you're taking He's very good care of your blood sugar and making friendships through community. You sound like yes,
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:08
that's pretty. Pretty much.
Scott Benner 35:09
Yeah. I mean, I'm glad you giggled, because it's it's silly. It's like you, because you just assume and I don't know if this is just, you know, I don't know if this is me being ridiculous or not, but like, those two things don't seem like they go together to me.
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:23
Yeah, I've, I've always been a chameleon. And I'm really good. I can fit in with any anybody. I can talk to anybody. And so, yeah,
Scott Benner 35:35
can you see these? Because there might be a world where you point them out to others and make money. Like, it's between how you look physically. And it's just, it's all doesn't none of it. None of it jives, like nothing jives with anything. And that's how you got away with it. Are your parents similar?
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:54
Yeah, in their own way. Yeah, I would say so. We are all really good at putting up really, really pretty picture.
Scott Benner 36:06
Smart people.
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:08
Yes, I would say
Scott Benner 36:11
do you think do you consider yourself like, I mean, do you drink any more?
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:16
I do occasionally. I'm, and we can dive into that too, if you if you want to. But I've worked with a therapist doing harm reduction and recovery. For me. It has not looked like flat out sobriety. But it has been an I know this might be a little controversial, whatever, but harm reduction. And that has worked well for me. It really has.
Scott Benner 36:43
Are you what they call California sober?
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:45
I've never heard of that. I think I would just smoke weed.
Scott Benner 36:48
I think it means weed and drinking but nothing else.
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:51
I call that the marijuana maintenance plan. But But no, I don't I it just has never done anything good for me. You don't like weed? I don't. Yeah. thing I don't like it makes me very paranoid.
Scott Benner 37:10
What what do you what did you like?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:13
Cocaine? Opioids at a certain point? And but my best friend is ecstasy. And any but always.
Scott Benner 37:30
Now, are you broke up again?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:31
Oh, it just has to do with being able to get your that's fine. What was the last thing you heard you
Scott Benner 37:37
broke up again. I heard ecstasy. And then you were okay.
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:42
That's about it. They were my favorite.
Scott Benner 37:44
Were you just saying you liked whatever you could get your hands on?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:48
Yeah, for the most part,
Scott Benner 37:50
how long did that go? From? What ages? And how the hell did you pay for it?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:54
So I don't know if this is common with other people or whatnot. But so I've actually I attended private school from sixth grade to until graduation. And there were you know, we were all the squeaky clean, clean kids so to speak, but there's a lot of drugs and there's people that have money to get them. And were doing starting to do cocaine at 16 at you know, like a bonfire field party. It was I don't know how normal that experience is for other people. But that was that was my experience. And you know, it's also combined with the with a small town, but it went on through once I got to college, and that was mostly just the the drinking and partying but started to experiment with more like with harder drugs or psychedelics stuff that would probably have scared me when I was younger. I don't know it was my 20s were kind of a spiral a little bit at times.
Scott Benner 39:08
Yeah, I mean that. That checks out because you said I tried harder drugs after you said ecstasy cocaine. And you're like then I ramped it up a little bit. You know, Scott really got it moving. Acid.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:25
Yes.
Scott Benner 39:25
Okay. Heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:30
Yes, accidentally, once
Scott Benner 39:33
you know how it is when you do heroin by mistake.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:36
I was 16 Actually, yeah, yeah. And I
Scott Benner 39:39
drank a regular Coke when I didn't mean so. Same thing.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:43
Yeah. To hate that. Yeah. Yeah, I was told it was opium and black tar heroin. I don't know why that's right. You know, and you know, it's what's funny about that story and You know, I'd use, you know, not funny funny, but it was my best me and my best friend at the time, who was also a type one diabetic, right? If you're seeing a trend here we were, she was living with me that summer at with my family. And we would go and hang out, you know, have dark parties with some other friends that were living there. And there was a guy there and it was like, it's opium. And I'm like, Okay, well, I guess that's fine. It smells good. And we both smoked it. And we're, yeah, it was after that, that we were told that it was actually black tar heroin. And yes.
Scott Benner 40:45
I thought I was doing I it's not my fault, Scott. I was trying to do opium. You can't blame me for doing heroin. It's a classic mistake. You know, how you hear people say, tomato tomahto. Like, you know, yeah, six, a one half a dozen? Oh, yeah. You know, yeah, opium heroin, whatever. But no, I mean, it put it, I laughed, because I'm not at eat. Well, let's be fair. It was. Yeah, it was. But um, but I'm laughing. I'm laughing at you being in a scenario where you could mistakenly do heroin. Because to me, to me to a person who doesn't like that's, like, that's a very avoidable thing is what I was thinking. Like, I've never mistakenly done heroin. You understand? It couldn't almost happen. Like I'm trying, I don't think it could happen. And so you're in your you're living but here, listen. Let's Let's back up for a second for all the moms that are listening right now and are getting ready to run their head through a wall thinking their little diabetic kids are going to do opium one day. I know. Don't worry, don't wait, hold on. Because first of all, Fair's fair, I think you get to at least cocaine without the diabetes. Yes, yes. That's you we're not set up for success is what I'm saying. Somehow you're an attorney. I can't wait to figure out how that happened. But, um, but anyway, like, the idea that, you know, I know. I don't imagine that this wouldn't happen to some degree. I just think I think of your I hate to say this, like your your life sounds like a bonfire to be. And then things just kept getting thrown on it. Like, yeah, you could have been born to two people who weren't drunk all the time. Right? And then they don't model that behavior. And you don't get those. You know, maybe some of that genetic, like predisposition. And then you go in a completely different direction, right. But then once you start doing it, like, like, if my kids were doing if my kids were drinking, when they were 12, I'm fairly certain I would have been aware of it. And then I have no doubt, yeah. And then I would have done something about it. Had that happened. And so, but you were in a position where they were like, I wish I know, we're not using your name, because it's sometimes it's unnatural not to use someone's name, but you're in a position where like, your father came in, found you passed out and was like, Look, I don't I don't want the chicken Hamburger Helper over here. But we're having to get cold. So let's just get her out here, sober up and keep moving. You know, like that would stop most people's lives. And so once you don't see any pushback, then you're just running forward. And now you're around a bunch of I mean, is it fair to say wealthy white kids?
Anonymous Female Speaker 43:47
Yes. You can't me. Yeah.
Scott Benner 43:52
I'm just saying, you got you got what they call white people problems when you start talking about, you know, it's not my fault. There was just so much cocaine at the bonfire party. You know, so you're around enough money to sub to hold up this lifestyle, and then I don't want to cast aspersions, but there are, I'm gonna cast them pretty hard. So hold on a second. I didn't even make it. I can take it. Well, it wasn't even about you. By the way. It was about the culture overall. Obviously, it's not everybody. Okay. But there is a culture where people make too much money for their own good. Their kids are rolling around and BMWs when they're 16. They've got cash in their pockets, and nobody's paying attention to them.
Anonymous Female Speaker 44:41
Sounds like you're UW when I turn 16.
Scott Benner 44:44
See, remember you said keep guessing Scott. I'll get you don't worry. Yeah. So and the reason I bring that up is just because I've seen it sometimes too. Like my son once said, You know, can I go to the shore house with these guys? And I was like, no, like, no, like, their parents weren't going to be there. And these kids had unlimited access to cash. And I was like, they definitely can't do that, you know. But I was stunned by the number of people who were allowed to do that. I'm stunned by people who say things like, oh, it's cool. If they drink here, they're going to do it somewhere. That's not true. Actually, there's a way to keep your kids from drinking. It's not that hard, actually, you control their life. You know, you don't want to make a hard decision that makes your kid mad at you, I get that. But don't tell me there's not a way to like manage a 14 year old into not doing cocaine, you can swing that. Yeah, that's not a heavy loaded parent.
Anonymous Female Speaker 45:51
It's not. And I think it's worth mentioning, too, that there's plenty of the of the kids that I grew up with that had an enormous amount of resources to sort of fund a lifestyle that would allow for them to be participating in this act, these activities that we've several have died, you know, that's where that goes, is overdose that several are struggling to this day and can't get out of that addiction. And it's, you know, it could have been avoided. Well, it's not, that's what's really sad.
Scott Benner 46:29
It's a gluttonous mindset, right? And without checks and balances, because you're a child, yeah. And you have nothing, there's no speed bumps. So you're just like, I'm going to do a thing, and then it happens, right? That's it, I'm gonna do a thing. And then it happens. I'll do it again. I can afford it, I can do it, we can drive to it, you know, like that, that sort of thing. And you feel autonomous, because you have the things you have a car, you know, you have access to money. And then there's no you can't govern yourself. Honestly, it's not that much different than social media.
Anonymous Female Speaker 47:02
Like if you, yeah, thought about it that way. But yeah, you drop
Scott Benner 47:05
tick tock on an eight year old, then they're going to be doing Lizzo dances in no time and not paying attention to their homework. Like, it's not that hard to figure out really. And so. And people aren't going to like to hear that. Because a lot of people are involved in a parenting is difficult. It's really hard, it takes a lot of your time up. It takes up a lot of your resources, and it is going to encompass a portion of your life, large enough that you will look back and think there are things I didn't do because I decided to be a parent. But yeah, you can still have a baby and be like, ag give her a car. She looks like she'll make it. You know? Do your parents do you speak to your parents?
Anonymous Female Speaker 47:47
I adore my parents, we are incredibly close. And we you know, the picture that I've painted so far, to be fair is not where we are, at this point, everybody has sought help. And yeah, as a family unit, we've just, I think having been in a dryer, things were pretty shitty. Everybody checked out. And you know, the 12 year olds running around, like, what she walks in. It's night and day. At this point,
Scott Benner 48:22
no, I listen, it's also very kind of you to come tell a story like this that you easily could have buried and kept behind you. So it is really nice. And I don't know, like it's, it's hard not to hear it and just think well try it a little bit, get an A mean, like, and but at the same time, I could, I could take the other side of this argument and tell you that your parents probably have significant issues of their own. And it got away from them. And they couldn't handle themselves, let alone another person. And they probably gave you a car because they wanted you to be safe. And they probably gave you money because they didn't want you to get stranded somewhere. I'm sure there was a lot of good intentions behind what they did.
Anonymous Female Speaker 49:00
Of course, and you know, honestly, what it was and what I've come to recognize it being as I'm become an adult, is they felt a lot of guilt for me that I had to live with type one diabetes, and so they thought that material things would make it better. But here we are.
Scott Benner 49:18
And just leaving you alone would be some sort of a gift not to not to like Lord over you. Right, yeah, right. You need a little lording over when your job. You know, somebody's gotta Yeah, everyone saw someone's got to point to you and go, Hey, listen to this stuff in the cabinet. It's not for you. I'm gonna tell you a terrible story right now. here but you judge my you can judge my dad. Okay. My son texted me this morning, as I think we said on the recording, he's lived alone for like two weeks. And he sent a text that said like, Hey, I got up this morning and realized I left a burner on my stove overnight. And it's like an electric stove and it was on like halfway and mean it didn't end up being any kind of an issue. Sure, but but he shared it with us because he was like, I can't believe I did that, you know, and like, like, I everyone knows what that feels like the first time you walk into your kitchen, you're like, oh my god that burners been on for three hours. And you just you feel that like that like, rush of like, I'm so glad we're all okay. You don't I mean, like, it's a little thing. But everybody gets that feeling, right. So I said to him, I said, Well, this is good, no harm, and you'll never do it again. You know, it'll stick in your head now. And then we started kind of like joking back and forth a little bit. Because I am a person who I always warn people about the oven being warm. Like, so. Don't laugh at me. Oh, this is a nice story. And so it's a really nice, it's a nice story, right? Till it's a hard so just hang in with me for a second. I want to throw in with you here on the honesty thing today. Okay, so like, I take a pot off the stove, and I move over to the sink. If there's anyone around me, even though they're seeing me walk away from the stove, I will gesture at the at the thing and I'll say, hey, that's hot. Or if I take something off and leave food in it, and when they come up to serve themselves with a head that that's hot, like I'm very much about I don't it just it's in me, right like a rule. Like I would never walk into work in a house like people who don't lock their doors. I don't understand how that happens. Because I don't cross a threshold without locking a door. And I don't know why. Okay, so But back to the the the oven thing. Do you know why I'm so cognizant of the the oven being dangerous?
Anonymous Female Speaker 51:34
I've got to imagine you've had some sort of interaction with an oven before that. Did not go well. But that would be a guess.
Scott Benner 51:41
I grabbed something. My father stopped me. And then to teach me it was hot. He held my hand over the fire.
Anonymous Female Speaker 51:49
Oh, my gosh, well
Scott Benner 51:50
see how terrible that is? Yeah. And I don't care. Well, who knows why? Seriously, I'm dead. Quiet. Why not? Why am I not 12 years old, crushing up barbiturates and putting them in whiskey. Like seriously? Like, I don't know why it happens to some people, not the others. seems wrong. I should at least have had a little bit of a problem. Don't you think?
Anonymous Female Speaker 52:13
I know you missed out.
Scott Benner 52:17
I want to be clear. Hey, it was a lot of fun. It's a childhood memory. I don't think he barbecued the skin off my hand or anything. I don't I did have a second degree burn. But he scared the living daylights out of me. While he had a hold of my wrist and he was moving me towards the flame. I propolis. And here's probably what really happened. I probably got anywhere near the heat, and he probably pulled it right away. But I'll tell you what, say what you will. I'm all about love and safety. Oh, by the way, please. I am not telling anyone to do that or that. I think that's a good idea. I was just I just wanted to outline that, you know, nobody's parents are perfect. And, and it's bizarre. It's bizarre to see that something can happen to one person and then happen to another and their lives go in completely different directions. It's like it really is. It's interesting. So Alright, so let's not glamorize your hellacious life, but you're saying yeah, through your 20s through your 20s acid, other things like that, like you were going pretty hard, like through college. Right?
Anonymous Female Speaker 53:28
Yeah. And you know, I think I did have two years of sobriety, I was a member of, of AAA, very active one. And I think that, that time is what truly saved my life. Like, even though I'm not still a part of that program, pumping the brakes, and getting a sponsor a woman who could sit me down and be like, Look, you've made a mess of your life, and we need to do something about that. Like, I am forever grateful. And it was a consequence of getting a DWI, when I was 21. And which is driving while impaired is what we call it in the state that I live in, so like a doobie. But that that truly is what it finally finally pumped the brakes.
Scott Benner 54:23
And that that legal issue moved you towards taking care of yourself. It did.
Anonymous Female Speaker 54:28
And you know, what's funny is that I was so upset about how my parents were going to react and I was just thinking like, they're gonna be so mad at me. And the way that they found found out is that my driver's license it still had my home address because I was in often college at my home, address back home. And so legal stuff sort of getting sent, you know, how lawyers, those lawyers, they'll start sending you like stuff in the mail too. And My dad comes up to where I was living to talk to me. And he was driven there by my mom, which was weird. Like, that was not a normal thing. And he's like, yeah, by the way, I just got a DWI as well. So we both that DWI is at the same time.
Scott Benner 55:18
So just a little commiseration, then. And, and by any chance, did you get a buy one get one free with the attorney?
Anonymous Female Speaker 55:26
No, that's a no sure did.
Scott Benner 55:30
So even in Yeah, is that interesting? So are your I don't even know how to put this. Like, that's an interesting decision by your parents. Like, like, I don't even think I would tell you that. You don't I mean, like I wouldn't want to normal. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 55:47
Yeah. I think it was more, you know, I'd never really thought about that being weird decision for them to make. I think that they thought that I would probably figure it out. Because if I typed in my last name into the court calendars to see when my court dates were and stuff, my dad's name would pop up. And so I think they just figured out figured it out. Anyway.
Scott Benner 56:07
So interesting. Oh, my God. Alright, so yeah, you're you get moving in the right direction. You go to grad school, I guess gonna go to law school, right.
Anonymous Female Speaker 56:16
So I take some time off between undergrad and law school, which I'm grateful for worked. Just kind of a, I did fast food. I did. Worked in, like a grocery store, local grocery store chain, I did all sorts of stuff to sort of figure it out. And I'm glad I did, because I finally got to experience what the real was like, and kind of get some experience under me that I needed. And has been so helpful. As I've gotten older, and in my professional life.
Scott Benner 56:56
Yeah. Well, I mean, so you got grounded, basically. Yeah. You found a way you found a way to like, live the way people are supposed to live with some responsibility. And not everything just falls in our lap. And yeah, expectations. Yeah, limits. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 57:16
And I always worked. Like, throughout high school and college I was, I was always really, really good. I was a great student, top of the class. And so I always worked really, really hard academically, but maybe other things. I was sheltered from looking back. Were you doing that's
Scott Benner 57:38
Yeah, you were doing the things that you were supposed like, like to continue on, on the we're doing well, like gravy train, like, get good grades, learn how to do something where you can make money. So you can buy yourself your own BMW one day like that kind of. Yeah. Yeah, there was expectation set. But no, like no real world perspective. Yes. Interesting. Wow. Okay, so what kind of law do you practice?
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:08
I do family and criminal law.
Scott Benner 58:11
Do you ever bump into people where you're like, Oh, I did this one.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:16
Yeah, honestly. And I bumped into people that I grew up with.
Scott Benner 58:23
Oh, wow. Did they look at you like you made it out?
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:27
I don't I don't know. I think that they, I truly don't know.
Scott Benner 58:33
Has anyone ever looked across the courtroom at you and went, Hey, I did heroin with that girl one time Don't listen to her.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:40
Well, we thought it was opium. I would love
Scott Benner 58:43
I just want that. So that that's how you would answer like, Your Honor. Listen, in fairness, we thought that was opium.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:50
And we were 16. You know, it's not that big of a deal. We're dumb. No, no, not at all. I, I think that I don't want to speak for them too much. But I think what I've encountered with them is that they feel a sense of shame. And I hate that for them. A couple of people I
Scott Benner 59:11
grew up with, got into cocaine when we were in high school. And I kind of just distanced myself from them, as I saw that happening. And one of them lived a pretty a fairly tortured life through their 20s and 30s. And, and, you know, into their 40s and then pulled themselves together and became an attorney and then made a family and had a baby and then had a heart attack and died at a very young age. And the heart attack is generally speaking attributed to the the, the beating that they gave their body from the drugs. And it somehow was and this isn't right. It should have been this story should be that whole way, but it's sometimes it's somehow it was sad or because he had pulled it together. Right? You know, like it just it struck me harder that way, which isn't fair to people, because people who have not yet pulled it together, they could write, like, just he got lucky and met a person who helped them. And, and everybody could have that, you know, like you you've had your exactly your DWI. And that helped you. And so yeah, did you turn were you able to like, my one question I forgot to ask you back then is that when you decided to make a change? You didn't know anybody to go to? So Right. So if it wasn't for the I'm assuming the court orders the AAA and then you meet a reasonable person in AAA? Is that how it happens?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:43
Yes, they ordered a and intensive outpatient treatment,
Scott Benner 1:00:49
because you're not surrounded by any reasonable people prior to that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:55
Event, even if I was that their voices were not as loud as all the others. So
Scott Benner 1:01:02
I'd be scared and hold on. Yeah, yeah. And the legal troubles scared you or, or the parents knowing that you were doing that stuff. What scared you more?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:01:18
I think, realizing just how out of hand it had gotten, I think it had normalized to me, because I had been doing it from such a young age that that never occurred to me that the decisions I was making were destructive, not only to myself, but now we've got innocent people on the road. And here I come. I carried a lot of guilt about that. And I never wanted to put other people in that position. Again, I think I finally it was just the shaman always been there. But it was bad. And when they put me in the drunk tank, and I didn't really have anybody to call to come get me out. It's just like, I can't keep doing this. I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm not getting anything positive out of it.
Scott Benner 1:02:18
I think if this is me, after an hour talking to you, well, that's not fair an hour, 20 minutes, 20 minutes where you couldn't make the headset work in it. But I think one of your superpowers might be that I think you genuinely are a nice person.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:02:32
Thank you. And I would like to think so. I've I do care a lot about other people. I really do. Almost too much. And I just I think too, I've always been incredibly sensitive person. And, and I've just wanted to at times when things when the going got rough. Dole that out a little bit. There's too much there's too much. But there's other ways of doing that.
Scott Benner 1:03:07
Yeah, like, go for a jog.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:11
Oh, God, no. It'd be one of those scary
Scott Benner 1:03:13
jockey people that jog at like six in the morning and five in the morning and think you see them you're like, why is that happening? And then you know, now they're just trying to stop themselves from doing heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:25
Mistakenly? Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:03:27
Well, well, I'm sorry. On purpose. Yeah, opium?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:30
Yeah. I think I just there, you're, you're, yeah, no, I, I've always just been a sensitive from the time I was a child until I mean, that's, that's who I am just trying to find my place in the world and getting kind of bumped around while doing it. And I did have stuff in my life. That just like we've already alluded to, lit a match and threw it on the gasoline that was already there. And it took it's taken a lot of work to undo that. But I really I don't think I would change anything. I do think the lessons and things that I've learned along the way, are what helped me to help people that I could easily see myself being in their same position and, and sort of an empathy and a compassion for people that might otherwise not be shown it by whether it be the justice system or society or what have you that there's always something more going on beneath the surface and in sort of trying to understand what went wrong in their lives and how can I help them without judgment,
Scott Benner 1:04:48
that's a that's needed in the world. And there's not enough of that. Maybe, yeah, maybe you went through your things so you could provide it for other people, you know, and it sounds what you're doing too. You know, there's I don't think there's many babies that come out and are predisposed to have problems their whole lives. You know, like you, you get there through decisions that adults make around you first. And, you know, that could be anything from, you know, that you know, nature nurture, like all that stuff, honestly. And you were able to finally like back out enough to see yourself to, which was a big, it just shows like what value there is just pausing sometimes. And just stepping back, right evaluating yourself, you know? Yeah. Did you I have a couple of questions around diabetes, people are like, Oh, good, okay. I listen to this diabetes podcast, and it's a how to on how to do heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:05:52
How not to rap. By the way, if
Scott Benner 1:05:53
you're a kid, and you're listening, like if this story doesn't make you think I am not doing cocaine or heroin, I don't know you were gonna do it anyway. Because they've been this is a this is a tale of what not to do. But how would you possibly managing your blood sugar's like when you were bloated?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:06:09
Yeah. You know, I used to take a lot of pride in that in, which might be like, a little sick, I don't know. But I've just, I had a lot of really great resources, young, and starting out a lot of education surrounding diabetes. I had a fantastic team, I had a mom who was a nurse and helped me understand how everything works. And so the diabetes was never really that much of an issue. I knew how alcohol would affect my blood sugar. I knew what I needed to do to be safe. It just was fortunate enough to have such good resources that even on even when I'm, you know, wasted, I It's like, autopilot. I know what to do. Yeah. And I'm, and look, there's there were times when, you know, there was some close calls. And I don't know why that those were not wake up calls for me. But but for the most part, I had it under control, which was exhausting, honestly, to have to balance that on top of the diabetes.
Scott Benner 1:07:35
Yeah. So like low blood sugars that were dangerous, things like that. Yes. Yep. Thanks for your like later, like, Oh, I almost died. Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:07:45
my dad, actually, I was at a house party. It was a PJ party. So that's like a kind of a drink, where you pour every kind of alcohol into a cooler, sugar and loaded up and all that. And I was 16. I was in high school. And my dad had to come and carry me out at the party. I had passed out I was unconscious. I couldn't really tell you any more about what happened. But fortunately, there was another type one diabetic there who helped me and was like, No, we need to call somebody. I really, truly think that if she hadn't been there, nobody would have done anything for me.
Scott Benner 1:08:34
Yeah, they would, they would have thought you were drunk, and they just would have left up. Yeah, I heard a story like that once about a kid in college who got real loaded. Nobody around him knew he had diabetes. And his parents had to like drive hours to the school to like, collect him from the floor of the house and take them to the hospital. And they only just they couldn't get a hold of him. So they just drove to where it was. Yeah. Well, that's the horrible. Okay, so my last thing to ask you like, my last upbeat question is you somehow had an eating disorder in there as well.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:09:14
Yeah. That in self harm, just checking all the boxes. Yeah. So I think I was getting messages as a, as a girl in pressure to look some type of way. And, you know, I've never I've never been overweight, I don't know. But it's, it's difficult. It was a difficult struggle. And I put so much weight on, like, a number on a scale. And I think that that came from the diabetes, I think, I became so obsessed with what my blood sugar was, you know, and attributing that as a judgment on my value as a human being and So it would, I would say that di bulimia and anorexia were almost like, it was a natural outcome of like that obsession and stuff. But I definitely attribute it to that, if that makes any sense it
Scott Benner 1:10:20
does for you. And I mean that like, kindly, but you because those same pressures, don't send some people in that direction. That's the thing that I'm endlessly fascinated by when I'm talking to people. And I'll bring it up sometimes, like when I'm talking to Erica, about some of the like, more mental health stuff. But it's fascinating that you could put two people in the same pressure cooker and one of them comes out one way and one comes out the other way. Like your story. Yeah. Listen, there's a person out here out here somewhere who's like, oh, I had alcoholic parents too. I just like I went the other way. And, you know, I, I was great with my numbers, too. And there was a lot of pressure, but I never felt like blah, blah, blah. Like, you don't mean like, it's just it's, it's, it's somehow, like, I'm using the word fascinating. But it's, it's sad. Like, it's just like, why does it work this way for somebody and not that way for everybody? seems unfair, right? Honestly, of all the things. And what do you like? Like, I listen, I just saw a post on the Facebook group last night where a mom was looking for a facility to take a child who, who came to her and said that she was anorexic. And so what do you think parents should be looking for? And then what do you think they should do when they see it? What would have helped you?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:11:46
You know, I? I think that's a great question. And what I immediately think back on is when I was younger, in fact, when I was about 12. And back then there was no getting like your a one C back the same day that you go to the endocrinologist, what would happen is, you would get a letter in the mail, maybe two weeks later, that tells you all the good news or bad news. And I remember getting this letter where my agency had gone up a little bit, I couldn't tell you what it was, but in all capital letters, the doctor wrote, This is bad. This needs to change and, and stuff like that. And I just cried and cried because I knew how hard I had worked and that I was having a difficult time. Yeah. And from, it's stuff like that, that writes on the slate of who you are. And so I started to attribute that as my value as a person. And I think that while parents need to be honest with their kids, you know, this blood sugar is high, like, here's what you need to do we need to work on it or, you know, maybe eat this instead of that, or this affects your blood sugar's in this ways. Keep it general, like don't try to ascribe good bad, right or wrong to these numbers. Because I know myself and many other diabetics really internalize that. And it adds like this shame that is so hard to just snap out of. And I've carried that with me for a long time and got the help I need with needed with it, but not without getting some bumps and bruises along the way.
Scott Benner 1:13:53
Yeah, I would add them point out that you should handle it that way. Whether you think your kid is the one who will rise above this or not, because you very well may be wrong about who they are. Right. And even though we're not using your name, if people could see you. They still they'd be stunned at this is your story. And I know that's not exactly like, I know people like what does it matter what people look like it? It matters in this situation? Because I know what you look like, and you don't look like this happened to you? You don't like I don't I don't know how to put that into words. But you are not the one that I would have put this on. Do you know what I mean?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:14:34
Yeah, yeah, I do. And so it's always interesting. I, you know, obviously my husband knows the story, but I'm really good at like, like I said, I'm a bit of a chameleon. And it's,
Scott Benner 1:14:52
yeah, no, that's my that's my point, by the way is that if somebody's listening to this and thinking, Oh, that's not how my kids gonna handle this. Like, you might don't know, you know, you might
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:15:01
not know. And that's what I wanted to essentially say is that, especially going to diabetes camp, I mean, some of the best friends I've made. In this world, I met at diabetes camp, because one week out of my life as a 12 1314, even 16 year old, I was normal, quote, unquote, normal. If you didn't have diabetes, then you were weird. And so we have really strong bonds. And I can tell you, that not not all of them, but I can point to particular ones where I see substance abuse, like I think that can be a part of the puzzle sometimes for people and, and so just to, like, it's not automatic, and it's not everybody, but just to be aware that some of us are really, really good at hiding this. And we just don't want to let people down. We don't know how to ask for help. And, and I just want parents to know that sometimes it's okay to interfere with your, with your kids and say, Look, something's going on. What is it? And they might push back, but they need that.
Scott Benner 1:16:19
If you just lock them in the room without their phone for a couple hours, they'll break. It's not a bit it doesn't take them long. Yeah, well just don't know where Instagram is. But I'm gonna have to come clean. Now. You know, there have been plenty of people who have come on here, a handful at least and said that, you know, they've had eating disorders diet bulimia, to be specific, and they learned how to do it at diabetes camp. I'll never forget a woman telling me I, I would have never known that I could have done this with my insulin to lose weight. It was my own sort of my food to lose weight. Had I not gone to diabetes camp. And that's where people showed me how to do it. So even that's a coin. Everything's a coin flip Mallory. It is yeah. Oh, that's your episode name. This is after dark coin flip.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:17:02
Well, that's perfectly fine flip.
Scott Benner 1:17:03
That's great. I'm so happy that came up with that. Because I all my only notice l wi living with living while impaired is what I had. Going with coins, but I mean, honestly like it right? It's just that. I don't know. You know what I mean? Have you ever gone out in the heavy rain and like, put a paper cup and running water and watched it go one way and ran down to the bottom of the hill and got it and brought it back up and down. And again, cup ends up on the other side of the road? Like it's just sort of? I have? No, it's because you grew up in a time where people had digital stuff to keep them busy. But I was bored out of my mind. And we used to do stuff like that all the time. Like we'd go make little boats in the house, and then brace them in the rain and stuff. And I can remember as a kid thinking like, Why does it always go to the same place? And that's how it makes me feel talking to you. Like, I feel like if I could have grabbed you when you were 11 and ran you back up to the hill and dropped you back in again. Like you might have come out somewhere else.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:09
But there's no no way to tell, you know. Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:18:12
And I love your attitude that you're like, listen, I went through it. And here I am. Because by the way, you're a respectable person now. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:21
I mean, I would. Certainly Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:18:24
certainly. Yeah. Little cocaine once in a while. What are we talking about?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:31
I mean, like, I would never buy it, but if it's offered now.
Scott Benner 1:18:36
I'm sure you tell people you're gonna keep your job. Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:39
just Yeah. I mean, because who can tell at this point, but no, and, and, you know, I think that I, behind the scenes, you know, certainly had in the past, or was doing things that were just like, Well, okay, but always maintain appearances of, of being one way or the other and respectable. And I would argue, like, I've always been respectable, deep down, but now on someone. Now I have self respect. Like, that's what I'm getting at is that I respect myself, I have a wonderful husband, I want to have a family and I respect myself to take care of myself to be there for them as long as I can and to and to show up and, and be present. Like that's what it's all about. presence of mind and not trying to check out because at a certain point, it's you know, it can get kind of selfish and I don't want to call people with substance abuse issue selfish there. It is not what I'm saying at all, but people who love you and care about you want you to be present with them.
Scott Benner 1:19:49
Why have a couple of questions? Is your husband like, like, what's the what's the ying and the yang? Here's like the worst thing your husband ever did was like the sold candy bars, wants a middle school and kept one of the candy bars for himself. We're similar paths to yours. Like, which way did you go when you were picking?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:20:06
I think we could keep up with each other in the past. Gotcha. Yeah. But he both of us are sort of, like, come out the other side unfortunately, have because when you spend a lot of your life involved in, in that sort of scene, you not everybody makes it out alive. And that's a coin flip. Honestly, yeah. Why? Why am I still here? Why? You know, and so I never want to lose sight of that and be grateful for that.
Scott Benner 1:20:39
You do you have any fear that you'll have a baby one day, it'll come out riding or whatever bong and dabbing.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:20:48
You know, I, honestly, I don't think fear is the right word. I think, if that happens, that I am so equipped to spot it. And like, my husband, and I joke all the time, like, our kids are not getting away with. Like, they're never, they're never gonna, because we're, you know, so in tune with, with what that looks like and know the impact that it had on us as we were younger. And so honestly, most of the fear that I have about my kids, is just that. I don't know, their fear yet. But I'll let you know later.
Scott Benner 1:21:38
Will you drink in front of your children and normalize drinking?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:21:42
That is a question that I had never asked myself. I hadn't even thought of it honestly. And it makes me wonder if you would ask my parents that question. When they were contemplating becoming parents, how they wouldn't want to change know what to say either.
Scott Benner 1:22:00
Yeah, but it might have been it might have really changed your life.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:22:04
It might have and look there, they are only doing what was done to them. Generation after generation.
Scott Benner 1:22:12
Yeah, well, listen, you go back a couple more generations. Everyone's drunk. Seriously? Yeah. Yeah, everyone's smoking cigarettes, and everyone's drinking in the 60s. Like, you know, 6070s, like right in there before that. All those poor, you know, there's people that came home from World War Two, like, there's a lot going on in there. There's the Korean wars in there, Vietnam, and they're like, there's a lot of people like medicating themselves through that 50 years. From there, you know, but I was just wondering, because it's funny, like, I mean, it probably makes it sound like I'm like, if you drink, you're bad, and your kids are gonna be addicts. And I'm like, I don't think that necessarily, but again, you really want to flip that coin, like, it might come up heads, you know, and so you got to make a decision, I will tell you, I will say something that I probably shouldn't say on here, but whatever. There are people in my close family, my children have never been in a car with them. And when my children asked why they couldn't get in the car with them, we told them it was because they drink and drive. My kids have always known that's why they're not allowed to ride in the car with those people. So I think we never we didn't demonize them about it, or like paint some horrible picture that they were bad people was just very matter of fact, they, you know, they drink a lot. And you never know when they're going to be drinking. And so I can't put you in a position where they'd be in control of you in a in a moving car. And, and that's. So I've always looked back on that decision to tell my kids that and to actually follow through because there were a couple of times where there was a lot of pressure. And yeah, and we always stuck fast to it. And I actually feel like that's part of the reason why my kids have the feeling they have about alcohol. Like I think it was it was model. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:24:01
And I tend to remember. Yeah, in fact, I tend to remember an episode where he you spoke about I think Arden was with a friend of hers, and they had the family had gone out to dinner and the parents were intoxicated and she did not want to get in the car is Am I remembering that correctly?
Scott Benner 1:24:24
It's very possible, although I've recorded like 150 of these. So I've also forgotten things that as I've been reminded of them, I'm stunned that I can't I don't remember. So it's hard for me. I will tell you when we're done recording I'll tell you on that like flipped me out that I completely forgot that threw me off. But here's the problem. I gotta go I have another recording and a little bit. I'm so sorry. If you only could have figured out that headset sooner we could have gone a little longer.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:24:52
Okay, no worries.
Scott Benner 1:24:53
You're really delightful. You To Know You're lovely. Thank you had a great time. Yeah, I appreciate You're doing this very, very much this is this is the, you're the first person who has been like, listen, I was drinking when I was 12. I don't mean that in a funny way, like, I've laughed at you for reasons that I'm sure people will be mad at me for later. But I, I appreciate you saying that. Like, it's, it's it's not that uncommon. And somebody should say it out loud once in a while. Yeah, yeah, it's not it's just not. Yeah. I don't know, to me, it's not worth the chance. I, you know, maybe you have a good argument, like those of you who would be like if they they're gonna drink, so I'll have them drink here. Maybe that's a good argument. I don't know. I, I chose to go with nobody's drinking. And because you're 10 Yeah, I mean, or because you're 15? Or because you're whatever. And, you know, anyway, listen, let me say this, though. I don't get to do whatever you want. Let's matter. Yeah, I mean, seriously, I don't care. But it's, it's still it's the way it strikes me.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:26:01
It's I think it's not worth flipping the coin and just let kids figure it out. I don't ever want to normalize it the way that it was for me. And so I'll leave you with that.
Scott Benner 1:26:14
Plus, think of how exciting and fun it will be, like 35 years from now. How old will you be in 30 years? You'll be like 707 66? Yeah, imagine you 68 Sitting you're like 29 year old kids down and being like, hey, here's a thing, daddy, and I never told you. And then tell him about the time he smoked heroin by mistake because you thought it was opium? Or let him listen to this podcast be like, I don't know if you guys know this. But years ago used to be things called podcasts. Let me just get this out for you. So you can listen to this real quick. That's mommy. Yeah, I know. And anyway, I'll see you in an hour and a half after you listen to this. They just think of watching their face while they listen. While they're just like, like, like, like, imagine your kids taking off futuristic headsets and turning to each other and going. Hey, at least she wasn't having sex when she was 12. Like you don't I mean? Like, like it just Oh, it'd be so much fun. Yeah, meanwhile,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:27:11
I'm still trying to get my headset to work still. 35 years from now?
Scott Benner 1:27:15
Well, exactly. You'll still have problems with technology, but your kids will be like, That's why there was no clock in the house. Get out of here. Okay. I get it now know that it'll be so much fun to come. Please do not tell them before their brains are solidified.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:27:31
I can give you that.
Scott Benner 1:27:34
Oh, my God. Well, I appreciate I listened again. This was terrific. Thank you very much. Hold on for me for one second. Okay. Okay, thanks. Want to thank my guest today. And then I want to thank Omni pod for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, Omni pod.com forward slash use box, go take those pods for a test drive or just get started with the Omni pod five. With the Omni pod dash, you can't decide. But you kind of know what you're thinking about, right? Do you want the algorithm or don't you do want the five you want the algorithm, you don't want the dash? You're halfway there. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Get your seats to the touch by type one of touched by type but one event, get your seats to the touched by type one event at touched by type one.org. And don't forget to find them and follow us on Facebook, and Instagram. I'll see you in September, at touch by type ones big event. A diabetes diagnosis comes with a lot of new terminology. And that's why I've created the defining diabetes series. These are short episodes, where Jenny Smith and I go over all of the terms that you're going to hear living with diabetes, and some of them that you might not hear every day, from the very simple Bolus up to feed on the floor. Don't know the difference between hypo and hyper will explain it to you. These are short episodes, they are not boring. They're fun, and they're informative. It's not just us reading to you out of the dictionary, we take the time to chat about all of these different words. Maybe you don't know what a cool small respiration is, you will when you're done. Ever heard of a glycemic index and load haven't doesn't matter. You will know after you listen to the defining diabetes series. Now, how do you find it, you go to juicebox podcast.com up top to the menu and click on defining diabetes. You'll be able to listen right there in your browser. Or you'll see the full list of the episodes and be able to go into an audio app like Apple podcasts or Spotify and listen to them at your pace. Download them into your phone and listen when you can. The defining diabetes series is made up of 51 short episodes. That will fast forward your knowledge of diabetes terminology
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#984 Diabetes Myths: The Pump Will Fix It
A brand new series examining the myths surrounding diabetes.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 984 of the Juicebox Podcast.
Jenny Smith and I are back today with another diabetes myth episode today we're going to discuss the myth that a pump just fixes everything. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to hire Jenny, she works at Integrated diabetes that gums that diabetes for over 35 years she's a dietitian, a CTE, she's wonderful, you'll hear integrated diabetes.com Speaking of good deals, use my link drink ag one.com forward slash juicebox. And when you do, your first order will come with a free year supply of vitamin D, and five free travel packs of ag one, you can use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com to save 40% off of your entire order. And if you go to us med.com forward slash juicebox you'll be getting a special link just for Juicebox Podcast listeners. And you can get started with us med Alright, let's get to the show shall we?
This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one. Now touched by type one is a fantastic organization helping people with type one diabetes. And their big event is coming up on September 16. I will be speaking a number of times that day at the event as will Jenny touched by type one.org. And I believe there are still tickets available. The tickets, by the way are completely free. Touched by type one.org. Head over there now. Get some seats come out and says I mean I've lost all this wait, I need people to take selfies with I hope to see you there. Jenny, welcome back to the myth series. How are you?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:14
I am great today. How are you?
Scott Benner 2:17
I'm good. Actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring up a big topic here. How many people do you think get told that just getting an insulin pump will fix everything? Because that happens a lot, apparently. So we're going to deal with the myth today that an insulin pump fixes your diabetes.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:38
I love that word fix Yeah,
Scott Benner 2:39
fixed. It's just gonna fix everything. Right?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:43
It's like going to like you got a flat tire, and you get it fixed. Right. And technically, it's fixed. That's that's a fix. That's it's done. But you don't have to worry about it anymore, right? It's totally different. And I think, obviously people with diabetes get that the word fix is clearly not what any type of technology is going to do. But I do think that it comes again from the population of people who have not lived with diabetes, or known anybody in a close manner who has diabetes and truly understands that this is something we navigate on a 24/7 basis, there is no turn off. And just having a pump or any kind of technology doesn't fix anything.
Scott Benner 3:30
I've been on Omni pod for one month, this one says I had a bit of a Hypo. And my sister turned to me and said, I thought the pump was supposed to stop that. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 3:43
Like, oh, frustrating.
Scott Benner 3:45
I mean, these like are grouped together on my list. This is why she's still having those doesn't the pump fix that? This guy says, I was in a meeting. I'm a college professor. And with people my own age, my son's Dexcom Dexcom alarm goes off in a meeting. And I text them, you know, they say what's going on, and somebody in the room looks at them and says, I thought he had a pump. And he said they're confused because they view me as intelligent and capable. And they cannot fathom why I can't figure this out. And and he said meanwhile my son is 95% in range with a normally one se right. And that's something
Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:28
it is and I you know, from a from a broad, I guess visual of this. I don't know at what point in the future we're gonna get to the whole idea from every single person that they understand that it doesn't get fixed. Right fixing is curing, that's fixing, fixing would be even if there's no A true cure from a physiology standpoint, fixing would also be a system that you put on. You don't have to do anything more than fill it with insulin and hit go. And it does the thing like truly closed loop AI, learns what's going on, looks at patterns that would be close to fixed, that would be close to, gosh, the system really catches 99.9% of everything, and does it for me, we are not at that point. And I don't think that people with diabetes. I think they understand that. I don't think it's the broad public that brings in these comments that are so frustrating to people with diabetes. They just don't get it. And I don't know how to educate them that that's not
Scott Benner 5:53
the case. That hearing this will help them a little bit. Yeah, my son's school nurse told me that we don't have to stop a falling blood sugar when he has insulin onboard, because the pump will stop it. But she says that son's not on an algorithm. It's just the school nurses idea of what she thinks the thing is. It's fascinating, isn't it? Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:17
And there is there is a technology, bit of misinformation. Maybe the school nurse has learned about algorithms, maybe from another student that she or he interacts with, and maybe assumes now that that's the technology that's available, and that every single person who has a pump, has an algorithm driven pump. That could be where that came from.
Scott Benner 6:42
I get confused. Because if like just applying common sense to their thought the the nurses thought, like you can't get low because you have a pump on if that was true, then why doesn't everyone have a pump? Like why are there some people just walking around going all risk it like you don't? Really is how this works, then then insulin pumps would be handed out the door and nobody would get nobody would do MDI crack because fix the whole thing. Like, I'm not like, there's a lot of comments here from people saying, Look, I'm not saying it isn't easier with a pump. I'm not saying that I don't have it better than somebody had 20 years ago, like, but it doesn't fix things the way people think. And it's always the same comments. Why do you even have to do that? I thought you had a pump doesn't come take care of that, etc, and so on, like, they go on and on and on. But this person says, Look, you know, I get it. Like, it's easier, but it's not, it's not perfect. Well, I've,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:43
I've been in social situations myself, and not eons ago, like, probably in the past couple of years where I've been with friends, but also more, you know, just friends that are friends of friends, right, that I don't really know or see very often and they'll you know, bolusing for a meal, right? Or bolusing for a snack at like a cookout or something? It'd be like, Oh, we you know, you have the pump? And I thought you didn't have to consider that. Yeah, well, the pump still needs to know that I'm putting something in that's gonna affect my blood sugar, or so.
Scott Benner 8:19
I've seen a lot of people, like really have trouble with this, like that this when it's said to them. And I've also seen people be very upset at the misuse of the words artificial pancreas. And this is why they get so upset by it. Yeah. 100% why this person says I'm people are regularly shocked that my daughter's pump isn't an artificial pancreas. And she says, I do get that I didn't understand it before. My daughter had diabetes either. But it now drives me nutty. When somebody says this, I just did watch this happen with what was it there was like a new pump that came out. And people were calling it artificial pancreas and somebody got online. It's like, look, this is not an artificial pancreas. And they were very passionate about it. And now as I'm reading through this list, I realized this is where that passion came from.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:12
And if we truly went not only artificial pancreas, but also a true closed loop system would include all of the missing components, it would be more of a if you're talking about fix, it would be more of a true completely closed, mostly non interactive from the user system that does what it needs to do. It would include glucagon, it would include insulin, it would mimic a much of what we're trying to do as our own like brain is trying to think, you know, like our pancreas should be doing that would be a true closed system.
Scott Benner 9:51
Yeah, I'm gonna read this this like statement from this person because I think it indicates how it feels. You really need her on a pump is the quote, it's this belief that everything is smooth sailing and easy just because you have a pump. These people are not talking about an algorithm, and they have no clue about what they're talking about their knowledge is way off. And it's from an adult brother that they only see occasionally who has diabetes, they don't understand that diabetes is a lifelong struggle. And yes, some days are easy, but those who live in understand you can eat the same thing over and over again. And then one day you get one result, the next day, you get another result, that you have to be so flexible, that there's always preparation. And, you know, this is advice that I didn't get previously, finding the podcast, they say, which is very nice. But when they're talking to other people, she's like, No one understands any of this. And you can feel the frustration in her writing, you know, in the end sadness, like there's sadness and what she's saying. It's just, I guess, it's just like the rest of these things, right? You're not going to stop people from saying things they don't understand. But it is interesting that overwhelmingly, and so many people have the same experience with Oh, you got the thing? I thought the thing fixed is that, and I said this in another episode, I'm gonna say it again. There's so much I'm looking at so much technology on my desk. Most of it's not, without its need to be helped. Like, yeah, like, it's, I have very few plugins and forget things in my life. Yes. You know, even like some of these great like, I have a really wonderful computer that I record this podcast on. And there's stuff I have to do to weekly to keep it running correctly.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 11:39
Yes, yeah. And it doesn't turn on and say, welcome. Good morning, when you enter the room, right? Hey, good morning, Scott, how are you? You still have to push the button and sign in and turn it on and make sure that it's remained? I mean, you can have automatic updates, but even sometimes it asks, When do you want to update? You want to do it now? Do you want to do it later? Do you want to delay it? Blah, blah, blah. So that yeah, there's very little technology that's without human interaction.
Scott Benner 12:05
But for some reason, now that it has to do with a hormone and insulin and this and that. They're all like, oh, that must just work fine. This is the last one. My ex mother in law said I thought X mother in law. Wonder how that happened? I thought all you have to do is put in the carbs. And the pump does everything else.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:22
Well, that'd be so easy. Like, I think, honestly, wouldn't that be so lovely? Like you just put in the carbs. And the pump figures out the whole rest, you could be off by 20 grams, but at least as long as you put in two grams of carb, it's, I got it for you. It's all okay.
Scott Benner 12:40
I'm paying attention. Don't worry. I can figure the rest out is a pump is here, which is a phrase that I love, which I always think comes from, I always hear it more frequently from people who are older who have had diabetes for a longer time. And my imagination tells me that they didn't have a pump. And they were always promised the pump the pump, because they use it like a title. Yes. Yes. I love it. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:06
Funny. I mean, if a pump really did that, man, I'd go to Disney and get the there's a place called Beaches and Cream. And it's got this dessert that's called the kitchen sink. And it literally is it's like a miniature kitchen sink. And it's load. I don't even know how much ice cream is in it. I've only ever been there a couple of times. And I've seen people get it and I'm like, oh my god, like how can you actually have all of that food? Right? It's like a table full of 10 People should actually be eating this stream. Be like, Yeah, let's go
Scott Benner 13:43
to these like they've cured diabetes, I have to get the Florida anyway, there you go. Alright, well, I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you very much
Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:52
course. Yes.
Scott Benner 13:54
It's funny. I didn't know that. Oh my God. Is it really big like,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:00
Oh, it is it's literally like if you imagine it's almost more like a like a bathroom pedestal sink. Yeah, visual, and it has faucets and everything on it. And they have to have I would guess 20 scoops of full fat like custom custard ice cream in this with any and all the toppings, all the whipped cream, the sprinkles. Like it just looks like the desert like if I were going back to kid mentalities. I'd be like that's what I want. And I'm not even like I can turn down ice cream pretty easily. But if I was going to indulge, that would be
Scott Benner 14:43
imagine that three minutes into it. You'd be like this is a lot. Did we fly all the way to Florida for this? I was
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:51
right. I got four bites. That was good. The kitchen sink was awesome. Fabulous.
Scott Benner 14:55
I could have got a Dairy Queen. I didn't realize.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:57
Exactly. Anyway. No, I don't even had to go to Dairy Queen you know I live in the land of of dairy here
Scott Benner 15:03
plenty of ice cream where you are plenty of ice cream yes
I want to thank Jenny for coming on the show today and remind you that she works at integrated diabetes.com. And of course, let's thank touched by type one not just for the good work they do. But for sponsoring the Juicebox Podcast you really should even if you're not coming out to the event, go check out what they're up to at touched by type one.org and find them on Facebook and Instagram. When you support the Juicebox Podcast by clicking on the advertisers links, you are helping to keep the show free and plentiful. I am certainly not asking you to buy something that you don't want. But if you're going to buy something, or use the device from one of the advertisers, getting your purchases set up through my links is incredibly helpful. So if you have the desire or the need, please consider using Juicebox Podcast links to make your purchases. If you are a loved one has been diagnosed with type one diabetes. The bold beginnings series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to begin listening. In this series Jenny Smith and I will go over the questions most often asked at the beginning of type one. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist who is also a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for 35 years. My name is Scott Benner and I am the father of a child who has type one diabetes. Our daughter Arden was diagnosed in 2006 at the age of two. I believe that at the core of diabetes management, understanding how insulin works, and how food and other variables impact your system is of the utmost importance. The bold beginning series will lead you down the path of understanding. This series is made up of 24 episodes. And it begins that episode 698 In your podcast, or audio player. I'll list those episodes at the end of this to listen, you can go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top and choose bold beginnings. Or go into any audio app like Apple podcasts, or Spotify. And then find the episodes that correspond with the series. Those lists again are at Juicebox Podcast up in the menu or if you're in the private Facebook group. In the featured tab. The private Facebook group has over 40,000 members. There are conversations happening right now and 24 hours a day that you'd be incredibly interested in. So don't wait. So don't wait. Check out the bold beginning series today and get started on your journey. Episode 698 defines the bold beginning series 702, honeymooning 706 adult diagnosis 711 and 712 go over diabetes terminologies in Episode 715 We talked about fear of insulin in 719 the 1515 rule episode 723 long acting insulin 727 target range 731 food choices 735 Pre-Bolus 739 carbs 743 stacking 747 flexibility in Episode 751 We discussed school in Episode 755 Exercise 759 guilt, fears hope and expectations. In episode 763 of the bowl beginning series. We talk about community 772 journaling 776 technology and medical supplies. Episode 780 Treating low blood glucose episode 784 dealing with insurance 788 talking to your family and episode 805 illness and ketone management. Check it out. It will change your life
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