Scott Benner 8/16/23 Scott Benner 8/16/23

#977 Looping Around

Tina's son has type 1 diabetes. Today we talk about loop and Omnipod 5.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 977 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's podcasts I'll be sorry my phone was muted. On today's podcast I'll be speaking with Tina. She's the mom of a young man living with type one diabetes. She is very involved in the looping community. We're going to talk about looping and Omni pod five today. While you're listening to us talk about that. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin. Check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes want to talk to some people who are looping or using Omnipod five or that new Medtronic 780 G I've been seeing a lot of posts for that lately, but also I see T slim libre Dexcom, anything you want to talk about? We talked about it in there. Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook, it's a private group with 40,000 members in it. I bet you there's a conversation happening right now that you would enjoy. I have a ton of episodes about algorithm pumping, go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu, click on algorithm pumping or in the private Facebook group, the feature tab, there's a whole list of episodes. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy earth. Now, at cozy earth.com. When you make your purchase doesn't matter if you buy one thing or 50 things if it's $1 billion dollars. If you use the offer code juice box at checkout, you will save 40% off of your entire order. So just think of what 40% off a billion dollars worth of joggers would be. Now I put myself in a position where I have to figure out what 40% Of a billion is. Alright, so a billion. I mean, just in case one of you buys a billion dollars worth of sheets, towels and joggers, a billion divided by two, which would be half a billion or 500 million, right? Yeah. So then 400 You'd say $400 million off your billion dollar purchase with my offer code. That's incredible. Also, you'd say 40 cents off. $1 $40 off. 100 You know how percentages work? Anyway, that's what you get for listening to the podcast. 40% off at cozier when you use the offer code juice box at checkout. today's podcast is also sponsored by one of my favorites, US med us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888721151 for us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies from and you can as well get your free benefits check today with my link or that special 888 number. It's just for Juicebox Podcast listeners. Us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888-721-1514 Get your stuff the way we do from us med. First of all, let me turn it right on. If you're planning on crying, let's start recording right now.

Tina 3:16
It's been a it's been an emotional last couple of days.

Scott Benner 3:19
Okay, I cried. The episode that went up today. This this young girl, she's like 18, she was talking about how she she was trying to like, do some public speaking. Yeah, she set this thing up at her local library where she was going to talk about chronic illness and service dogs. And no one showed up. And she still gave the talk to the one person that helped her set the thing up from the library and she's telling me this, and I am Oh, that's hard. I'm like crying while she's telling me and I was on cold medicine at the time. So I'm like, I think this might be the cold medicine. I was like, but she really got me. I was like, wow, she did it anyway. You're starting to get me Yeah, you know, I mean, if I shut up and no one. Listen, you don't know. Like if I showed up and no one showed up. I'd be like, I gotta go.

Tina 4:08
I think it's even. I don't know. It's how awkward it is for the one person that's there.

Scott Benner 4:15
And they all did it, I thought was really cool. So anyway, you introduce yourself the way you want to be known meaning you don't need your last name. If you bring up other people in your life, I don't care as a matter of fact, I don't care what you talk about, like with all sincerity, you can talk about whatever you want. But just don't use someone's name and then an hour from now say Oh, I shouldn't have said like Patty's name be like like, you know, can you go back and take out the 17 times I mentioned my aunt or something like that. Like please just don't do that. But other than that, it's absolutely up to you what you talk about I don't care. Make sense. I'll try not to see names okay for call names. You can curse if you want. I'll just Yeah, yeah. All right. Go ahead, introduce yourself. We'll start We're talking, you are being recorded.

Tina 5:02
All right. Hey, I'm Tina. And I have a newly 13 year old son who was diagnosed on July of 2019. So he's getting getting ready to hit us four years, actually next week.

Scott Benner 5:16
Yeah. Wow. Was it right at the beginning of July? It was July the third. Did he get it for the centennial? For the, for July 4? Was it? Uh, he sure

Tina 5:26
did. It was on a Wednesday, Tuesday, Tuesday night, my husband and my husband Phil and I were talking about some problems he had been having, which included a lot of Bedwetting, that had just arisen in the last like four or five days. And we, we decided I would take him to the pediatrician that have it checked out, because actually, we have quite a quite a bit of history with older adults on our life with UTIs. And, you know, so the first thing that's kind of coming to my mind is like, maybe he has a UTI, but also I was like, Maybe it's his age, and he's he's starting to hit a growth spurt, you know, things like that. And so, so I said, I will take, you know, give it, give it a day, and see how tomorrow goes, and if, you know, if tomorrow doesn't things don't improve, then I'll take them in to the pediatrician on Thursday, and haven't checked for UTI. And my husband said, yeah, and have a sugar checked. And I literally, it's like, one of those, you know, memorable moments of life that I can't imagine, you know, I was just like, I can't even fathom that, that would be an issue for for him. But I said, Okay, I will get up in the morning, and I'm going to take him tomorrow morning, instead of waiting, because I realized that the next day was the fourth of July, and Friday, I was supposed to fly out to Chicago to see a friend. And so I actually wound up staying up for quite a while that night, like, check in and you know, just checking on him and also thinking, well, maybe I should call him into the ER. But then also, you know, no, no, it can't be because that's, that's not, you know, we don't have problems like that. What so the next morning, I got up and I took them to the to the pediatrician immediately. And they they had had us in there like by 830 and had him pee in a cup and brought a glucometer and checked his his blood sugar. And the the pediatrician put, you know, Reese's sitting up, and I don't think I introduced my son's name, his name is Rex. But he's sitting on the table. And she puts the glucometer down on the other side of him. And she walks out of the room. And I'm sitting on the bench, and I stood up and I looked at the glucometer. And it said 271. And it was literally like you see in a movie. I felt like this, like were you back up really fast and then slam into a wall, you know. And I made no reaction. I just sat down and waited. And she came back in. And actually before she came back in recessed Mom, why is there a blood sugar checker in here? And I said, Why do you know what that is? And he says, I saw it on Tim and maybe that's a little learning app that he has and enjoys. And I said well, the symptoms that you have are, you know, they're possibly symptoms of type one diabetes, and he immediately starts screaming, I want to have a normal functioning pancreas. And I'm just like, what? And he goes, and then he starts screaming, I don't want to die. I don't want to die, which got me you know, rip me apart. And so anyway, I you know, they they taught, came back in and said we so he has type one diabetes, and we have called the hospital and you need to go straight there and they will rush you back. They're expecting him and they will get you in immediately. And I and we were actually right across the street from the hospital. He was born in and I said do you mean the hospital right across the street? And she goes oh no, he needs to go to the big hospital with the Children's Hospital. You're gonna be there for several days and I'm like

Scott Benner 9:45
look questions. Why did your husband think to say blood sugar?

Tina 9:51
Oh, I really don't know. Um, but we have no diabetes in our family. We have no Actually no autoimmunity in our family in our big family, you know, and I just don't know. But I also felt kind of like an idiot because I have a medical background. And it didn't. That just wasn't the thing that I thought of either.

Scott Benner 10:17
And then the other question I have is that where does Ries come up with functioning pancreas at nine years old? Is it from an app? Or you don't know,

Tina 10:26
Reese's? A little bit on the precocious side, shall we say? He, he has a lot of knowledge. And he collects it about all kinds of different things. And he, yeah, he said, he just everything he sees on there, he pretty much can reference in the future. You know,

Scott Benner 10:51
I mean, that's upsetting for you. But I was impressed with all all that he knew. I mean, he was nine.

Tina 10:58
Yeah, he just turned nine. It's crazy. So I cancelled my trip to Chicago, and actually canceled my trip that was going to be a month later, I supposed to go down to Guatemala. And we got on ride.

Scott Benner 11:13
Chicago and Guatemala, your friends in Guatemala as well.

Tina 11:18
We have a group from our church who goes down? Well, it's not just a group. But different people go down and have been doing it for probably 12 or 15 years now built a library and have a lot of programs down in Guatemala in this certain village called palot. Up in the mountains, and like they've taught tilapia farming and pig farming, and you know how to how to manage business well, and then built a library stocked them with computers, taught them how to use them, we have we support students through scholarships, so we, and they have to pay for school from middle school through high school through college. So we've got students that we, we support doing that well. And they they take trips a couple times a year.

Scott Benner 12:09
Very nice. Okay. So is Reese. How was the in the hospital? I'm trying to, I'm trying to imagine him in the hospital with all of his, like, half knowledge that he has built up and what was going on? Like, how did that process go for him?

Tina 12:25
He was so just just worn out. And he had a lot of symptoms that of course, we attributed to other things. But he, he was shocked. He was not happy. He was not comfortable. But we had so such a good team in the hospital. And so many people came and saw us every day there were there were usually a lot of people in there with us. And I think he took it pretty well. He gave himself his first shot in the hospital. And they eventually let us go home.

Scott Benner 13:02
How about you? How did you take it?

Tina 13:05
Not as well, I was I was a mess. And normally I'm like our family's medical reference person, the person they call when they have anything they want to know what it is, you know, can you come check this out? And we're in the hospital and I'm asking my husband, can you can you talk to the doctor when he comes in? Because I don't have my words, you know, and I was just, I'm just devastated. And it it literally took me we were in there for three days. And it it took me till about the time we left to feel like we could that I could be okay to leave.

Scott Benner 13:41
Were you worried that you couldn't manage it? Or was it like a psychological like overwhelming? Or were what do you think you're?

Tina 13:50
Well, I had no people with type one pretty much all my life. Not many people, but I had a friend in school when I was in elementary, middle school. And then I had a really good friend who in college who had it and you know, I saw that they could live and thrive. And I don't know, I just was not prepared at all I knew it would be would alter our lives forever. And I wasn't prepared for that. And and it really took me a while to you know, to be accepting of it.

Scott Benner 14:25
Yeah. Where do we meet? I have a feeling that we speak privately. In the beginning we did write like by video, right? Like we spoke.

Tina 14:41
I had written something on on the Facebook page answer to something some I made a suggestion on somebody's post. And then you said you reached out and said hey Tina, can I call you? And I said sure. So I was actually at the emergency room with my mother and when You called and I stepped outside and we were talking where the where the ambulance pulls up. And you're like, if this isn't a good time, I'm like, this is a good time.

Scott Benner 15:11
I'm looking at not to be in the emergency room.

Tina 15:13
That was that was in was either September or October of 2019.

Scott Benner 15:18
Wow, it's such a long time ago. Okay. And the I guess I just want to lead into how you got to looping at first i So what's the technology and the understanding you leave with the hospital? And how long does it take you? And how does it then what's the path you take to learn about looping?

Tina 15:42
So this was this is part of maybe part of why it was so hard for me, um, is that my husband and I are both. I'm retired, shall I say, molecular biologists, and we deal with precision and accuracy. And, you know, these people in the hospital or hospital are telling you give him one unit for this many carbs. And if he goes below 70 Give him 15 grams, you know, that kind of thing? And I'm like, Okay, what if he's at 71? And they're like, nope. And like, what if what, you know, just questions like that. Yeah, question. Okay, what if this Nope, don't do it, then what can I do even 10 carbs? Nope, give them 15. And I'm just like, okay, and then at some point, I was like, I think back about it and I feel really kind of silly knowing what I knew now, but they didn't tell me any differently. They didn't tell me the why I guess I should say okay, but I was I would, I would say can you just tell us exactly how much for this or exactly how much for that and they're like No, you'll you'll figure it out and I'm like, but we just if we just know the exact number everything we can handle this and that may maybe it was part of it was like not being able to put your finger on it. You know

Scott Benner 17:14
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Isn't it interesting, right? There's so much information left out of that, like I understand the idea if you get low take 15 grams, because we don't want you to keep getting low and 15 should be enough. But then they don't talk about like what you just said like what if really 15 is not the answer. What is the answer? six grams? Or, you know, why can't I do something at a 75 blood sugar while it's falling? If I know it's gonna get lower, and it's because they're not there. And they don't know the they don't know any of the details of the pretend scenario you're imagining in the future. So they give you this sort of like, I don't know, like it's an emergency. It's an emergency like thing. It's like, yeah, in case of Baba, bah, pull this cord. But that's kind of how it feels.

Tina 21:56
Yeah, and they don't, they don't take into account that maybe he doesn't need as much insulin for this exact same thing as he needed yesterday. You know, they don't take it into account. And

Scott Benner 22:07
I just think like one more sentence, you know, like, but it might not always be like this, or you exactly. And just as the scenario dictates like this would be, it would be an amazing eye opener for people. And they wouldn't get stuck in these like this number, this happens if this situation that happens. And instead they'd be able to see what what's really big picture happening and make better decisions. And yet it's not talked about like that. And it should be I

Tina 22:42
actually at one point, I started, you know, briefly working on a program to present to them to them being my son's endocrinologist who he's the head of the system that that we're in. And I have to say, I love him. He's He's amazing, and very accommodating and supportive and everything. But he still, you know, he doesn't live with it. He doesn't live with it in his house. And but anyway, I was working on something to to maybe be, you know, the product of which to be something that they could give two new patients that said, this is where we're at now, you know, you're at step one. Now. When these things happen, we're going to teach you step two, when things happen there, we're going to teach you step three, you know, and then I don't know I got off that path.

Scott Benner 23:38
Yeah, you're done being mad about it, and you moved on to something else?

Tina 23:42
Well, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't come to fruition.

Scott Benner 23:44
Nobody was actually going to do anything with it. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Okay, so he's managing with syringes with pens. Do you get a CGM right away? Like how does all that work?

Tina 23:58
So they gave him pens, one unit pens, and we actually had two and his ratio was, I don't know, one to 25, something like that. And so we'd have to actually add carbs for every meal because we didn't want to take carbs away. We didn't want to say you can't eat as much as you're used to because you can't, you know, we you can't have the insulin for it or will give you too much insulin. So we found ourselves actually giving him more and more carbs to to make it so he could have one unit or two units. You know, it depends on what do you what he felt like. And then downstream, I finally asked the Endo, I said, Hey, I hear their half unit pens, how about you prescribe one of those for us? And he says I could do that, which really changed everything. And then so he was diagnosed in July, and we were offered Dexcom not in the hospital. It was discussed first and then like, he even like when we went back two days later to his office, he offered it to us. And we, you know, I was kind of like, trying to settle down trying to get a grip, you know? Yeah. And I delayed it a little bit, but I think he was on it. I think it was like an as two week appointment.

Scott Benner 25:20
Okay, we got on it. And that long ago. Is that G six? G six? Yeah. Right. So I see you jump in with a really good sensor. Already a G SIX sensors really good. So like, you didn't go chi five was like, they were still getting it? You don't I mean? So. Yeah, that's not bad. And, but only half unit, the need for half units still. So you said a very little bit of insulin? I imagine. So again, was he using a very little bit of insulin? Mostly?

Tina 25:54
Yes. Yeah. Yes. And we were, you know, talking to the office to the CDE, at least on the daily about changing his basil, and, you know, changing things. And then finally, one day, it was like, we don't need to call them which was pretty cool. Yeah, to realize that, you know,

Scott Benner 26:16
I remember that. That feeling like, oh, I guess I don't really need to call. I guess I do know what to do here. Like that first moment where you think, Oh, I might be able to figure this out. That's yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty excellent.

Tina 26:29
Yeah, her endo offered us a pump pretty right away, too. And I said, you know, not ready, not ready. And it honestly, it was like his just about six months, right? After six months. diversionary so you say that we did start on the pump. And you know, going from half a unit capability down to point o five is astounding.

Scott Benner 26:57
Yeah, that's a big deal, isn't it? What pump? Did you start with? Omni pod? Okay. And so when do you? I mean, cuz I'm assuming because your background, you were looking into the technology a little bit and, and the idea of like, wanting to be precise, like, I'm assuming is what gets you to the internet. Right? So what do you find first that, like, is it me? Is that like something else? Like, where do you start to dig in.

Tina 27:26
So you were in my back pocket from pretty much day one. Because a friend whose son is type one who's who's a little older than my son, she reached out and said, we'd like to come see you on the hospital. And we we decided we didn't want anybody to come see us. That's how freaked we were. And but she she stayed in touch. And she said, I have these recommendations. And she said, you know, the number one was to Juicebox Podcast. And I was like, what is that? And so I was intrigued. But I was really afraid of going on the internet or, you know, anywhere and starting to hear scary stories. And my heart can take that. And I was like, I just can't. So I did no research at all. And I didn't didn't start listening to the podcast for a little while. And it was it was a few weeks in, I finally was like, Okay, I'm ready to ready to start branching out ready to start learning more. And so I found what I what I felt was a safe book. And it very much was and I I started listening to the podcast. And I'm joined the Facebook group. And would you like me to elaborate?

Scott Benner 28:51
No, no, I liked that idea. Because I think, first of all, I have two thoughts. There's somebody right now, in that situation, who will start to listen to this podcast six months from now. Somebody's told them about it. And they think it's a good idea, but they're not going to do it. I'm learning very much that my adoption, the rate of adoption takes a long time for people like it's not people don't just go oh, wait, there's a podcast that helps. Great. I'll start listening right now, like some people do. But for the most part, it doesn't go that way. And that's the second thing I want to say is that I understand that. Like I make this podcast, I see everybody's feedback. I know how it helps them. And yet when I hear it, I think yeah, that doesn't make sense. Like why would I just start listening to a podcast because my kid was diagnosed with something, or because I turn up at the doctor and he's like, Hey, you have type one diabetes. Your first thoughts now, I should probably go find a podcast that gets some people's first thought but not most people and it's not sexy. Or, like, you know, some of these podcasts that are like all about like, Oh, we're gonna biohack you into being like Lean and like that kind of Yeah, that doesn't actually work for anybody could biohack that would be awesome. Yeah, by the way, like all that stuff that everybody wants to be true, but for the most part doesn't work for anyone. It but I understand why those are popular even and I understand why somebody could be easily drawn into it. I, I think it's a slog to get to this, I have to be honest with you. I don't know, if Arden was diagnosed, and somebody told me there was a podcast about diabetes, and it would help me, I don't think I would have listened to it either. So yeah,

Tina 30:33
I just wasn't, I just wasn't ready to take in more more really personal, personal slash objective information. It's like, I need the objective. I need the how to, how to keep them alive, how to help them thrive, how to make it work. And then once I got that down, down, haha. Once I felt, you know, like, Okay, I think I think we can make it through a day. Okay. You know, it's like, Okay, go ahead and add in. And, um, honestly, you're the years is that for first Pat podcasts that I've, that I started listening to have of any podcasts because I had checked out podcasts before. And I was like, Oh, they're so hard, like, hard to pick what podcast to listen to, and hard to know, you know, what to download and when to download and how much it's going to, you know, monopolize my phone and you know, things like that.

Scott Benner 31:36
I'm also very snobby about how people's voices sound. Like, I don't want to hear oh, yeah, like, nasally people talk to me. I think energy bothers me a lot. So, you know, I'm bad at that. There's a lot of reasons why I start to listen to something and then think, oh, no, this isn't for me.

Tina 31:55
Oh, yeah. I've bought a book on on on Audible a couple of times and started to listen, I'm like, I can't get it. And so I I got a refund.

Scott Benner 32:03
Yeah. Also, bad microphones, bad audio, like stuff like that. Like, I've gotten better, obviously, over the years. But even on day one. I didn't know what I was doing. I still overspent on a microphone. I thought it had sound good. Or like, what's the point? Like, I wish I would have bought this one first, if I'm being honest with you, but anyway, okay, so you find this you start to dig in? What is it you figure out first? And how long does it take you to think I want automated insulin delivery.

Tina 32:37
So honestly, the comfort of having people who are in the same boat you're in and hearing how how well that, you know, how they can live and keep going and smile and laugh and everything that was of such benefit to me. And, and always is, because community is everything with type one community is everything. And I tell I help a lot of people that are newly diagnosed or who have kids that are. And that's what I tell them to start with them, like community is everything. And I do start the baby steps, you know, and I always tell them about the podcast and and tell them about the Facebook group. And I'm like, it's, you know, it may be overwhelming at first. So you may, you know, may want to peek at it and not jump in or you may want to jump in. But you know, there are people that will help you there in the wee small hours of the morning, which, you know, you did me very, you know, pretty early on, when Reese got double dosed one night before bed, and this is in the in the very early days, you know, when we were fingerstick in and you're sticking? No, it was after after Dexcom. But, um, but yeah, sometimes I won't forget,

Scott Benner 33:59
I can't tell how many people I've had phone conversations with over the years, who I've only ever met that one time. I've never seen them again, but through like, you know, a confluence of circumstances, somebody points them to you online. And they reach out and say something that just doesn't seem like it's something you can manage, like typing back and forth. And the idea I took too much insulin story is pretty common. I've had more than my fair share of conversations with people were they're like, Hey, I don't know what to do right now. Like I'm this close to calling 911. And instead they're talking to like a stranger on the phone. And, you know, you're telling them like common sense things. I'm like, Look, first of all, I'm not a doctor and call 911 If you want to, like but you just injected this much insulin. You know, what's your carb ratio? Let's reverse engineer this math and see how much you'd have to eat for this just to be a really good Pre-Bolus You know, and yeah, and that is Usually what gets people through, but most of the time, you know, I mean, some people,

Tina 35:04
yeah, and my

Scott Benner 35:07
God, I'm sorry,

Tina 35:08
I've sorry. There, there were times also when I, you know, was up at night, trying to deal with it and just very lonely and I'm like, I'm gonna turn on the podcast because this is, you know, these are people who, you know, are in the same boat as I am, who can keep me company through the night. So there, there have been, you know, been times where you've kept me company. And we always appreciate that. But um, I'd say the first thing other, you know, after the great community, probably one of the first things was that you don't need to throw 15 grams at it. And I guess along with that, if you need more insulin, yeah, need more insulin,

Scott Benner 35:56
right? Yeah, it's a big step for people. Isn't it like that? You know, it seems so silly when you say it out loud. But you know, your blood sugar is high, you probably need more insulin. That's yeah. And

Tina 36:09
it's, and I, you know, sometimes when Reese is high, or, yeah, when he's high, I'll, I'll be like, Well, I'm gonna Bolus him for, say a one unit snack. And if he needs to snack, he'll get it. And if he doesn't need it, he won't get it. And I think if you think of it in that sort of way, it's a lot easier to give, you know, to go ahead and give another unit or however much he needs. And it's not like I go say, Hey, you want to snack? You might get her you might? I don't do that.

Scott Benner 36:38
I'm gonna give you some insight, and then we'll decide later if you're getting an ice cream. No, I do. I do. Sorry, Scott. No, is that from that idea of like when I tell that story about art and getting high at basketball? Is that where that comes from? When I say like, look, we used to show up at this thing. Sometimes her blood sugar would rise, sometimes it would fall. And we didn't know about adrenaline at that time. Like we were still figuring it all out. But you know, I couldn't show up and watch her blood sugar jumped to 220. So I started Bolus and I started Pre-Bolus thing what I thought the rise was going to be, but then my wife was like, Well, what if it doesn't go up? It didn't go up last week. And I said, Well, in that case, I'll just give her enough insulin that we're basically Pre-Bolus and juicebox. And if it doesn't go up, then she can drink the juice to counteract the insulin. Is that where that hole comes from? For? You

Tina 37:25
know? I don't know. I do. I think I do remember that. Um, but I remember trying, you know, wrestling with how much, you know, this is a lot of insulin to give him but if I just changed my thought process of it, as you know, being Bolus for a snack, then, and just wait. Yeah, because he's not in a range where I would give him a snack. If I just wait for him to get there. He might have it and then I started actually extrapolating. Okay, so when he was first on the pump, or when he was on the pump, just the pump. His dia I think was two hours. And so I'd be like, okay, at one hour, I know from experience, this is how much insulin we really have to deal with. So I would see how, how fast he would start coming down. And if it took a while for him to start, I would know we're dealing with a smaller snack if we're dealing with snack at all, you know, like that. And that's the kind of thing where the, the scientist in me engages so maybe over fully?

Scott Benner 38:35
Well, so what? When did when do you find out about like DIY looping? And how long does it take you to make your way into understanding it and actually doing it.

Tina 38:47
So pretty well run after Rhys was diagnosed I had a lot of people probably more than a dozen people say, I want to come talk to you. Um, you know, I have type one somebody in my family has type one or I want to introduce you to somebody that I know who has a kid with type one. And so it was actually wonderful and so overwhelming. And you know, the people that I was the closest to they're the ones that you know, that of course came first and not everybody got you know, needed to come but I remember one of them told me told me a few things that I went to downstream and checked out and I think that one of them was was dry looping and at first I was like there is no way and in fact I remember telling Reese's No, there was no way I would ever do that. It's not FDA approved. It's you know, I don't know who these people are, you know the whole

Scott Benner 39:47
Yeah. Oh, how can read How can I possibly isn't a boy reactions to that. That news that yeah, online?

Tina 39:57
Yes, I for a long time I was you know for Do long I guess I was because I wasn't sleeping, I was like, I am not. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, we're gonna build loop. So you build it, build lead. And say, here's the computer, here are the directions build loop. And so he did. And we got, we got Rhys up and running and close the loop on the night of the second day. And, you know, I was up late watching it, and I was like, I'm gonna close this, I'm gonna see what happens. I'm gonna go to sleep. And it wasn't like, you know, close it, go to sleep. It was close it watch it for a while, go to sleep. And I got the best night's sleep I had had and months. And, you know, that's, that's how we launched with it.

Scott Benner 40:47
Yeah. Hey, the sleep will sell your for sure. On any, on any of the algorithms at all? Absolutely. So you. So did you get involved in it, then? Like, were you helping on like loot pages on Facebook? And like, did you get involved? Or did you stay on the outskirts of it?

Tina 41:05
So I pretty, you know, the as you know, the documentation for loop is vast, and loop docs. And it says, do not print this out, read it online, because it changes frequently. So I printed the whole thing out, literally, it's a notebook this thick. Because reading online for me is like, like, I might get lost, I'm not sure where to go back to, you know, I can easily mark pages easier. And keep in mind that if I really want to know something, you know, if something's critical, go look online, and whatnot. So I printed it out. And I read the docs, and he read the docs and found the looped Facebook group. And went went on there and did lots of reading and some some question asking and I saw on on somebody's post, there was an answer about how to how to Bolus for meals. That was very different from, you know, what, what I was used to doing at all, I was used to bolusing for carbs, and then later bolusing for fat and protein on the rise. And so the person that wrote, you know, answered this question on the post, I said, Hey, would you mind if I asked you some questions? And she said, Sure. So we went private. And I asked her some questions, and she helped me, you know, figure out how to how to do things the way she was saying and told me why she did them that way. And, you know, and she spent a good bit of time that day with me, which I was not expecting. And then the next the next morning, I said, Hey, this is how the night went. I said we didn't want it if I ask you a couple more questions, and she said, I'm gonna stay with you. So she did. And, um, she actually is on my admin team for loop and learn. And somehow down the way another person who's on my admin of of loop and learn, asked me if I wanted to help with some things there. And then eventually, I was invited to become a moderator on the page. Gotcha. That's great. In the group questions, it's

Scott Benner 43:11
how it works. Like somebody has to stay behind and help somebody else. You know, like most people go on, but some people stay and it's lovely. And so you had that experience, somebody helped you and you thought, wow, hang around and help somebody else?

Tina 43:24
Yeah, I've always been, you know, like, if somebody needs help you help them. Period. Yeah. Unless, you know, unless it causes harm to you or somebody that you know, somebody else. But generally, if somebody needs help you help them so I, I really, am you know, about helping people in every way that I possibly can. And what I am not a code person I do I have made some suggestions that have become some code, which I'm very happy about and and, but as for the coding itself, no clip, give

Scott Benner 44:00
me an example of something you suggested that ended up in the in the app.

Tina 44:05
Um, it's not in the app. It's a it's a what do you call it? A patch slash customization is one and this is one I wasn't the only person that suggested it, but I kind of pushed that you know. And it's the the now bar that used to be part of Luke the bar that is like where you are now. And here's, you know, behind it, the history and in front of it's the future. And so we kind of, you know, got got a little ruckus going about that again, and the person who writes or who has historically written most of the code for loop, didn't want it in there. And so wouldn't

Scott Benner 44:54
you froze. Tina, you are frozen. Frozen for It was in frozen. Tina, you frozen? You were frozen for a while. I don't know if you hear me. Yeah, he didn't want it in there. Ah. Can you hear me out? Yeah. So go back to the Yeah, the code

Tina 45:22
didn't want it in there. So became a patch. Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 45:25
But so people? Oh, I mean, I have it. I think it's nice.

Tina 45:31
Yeah, I was like, you know, constantly like holding the phone at an angle, like trying to see exactly where we are precision, accuracy. But like, it was just really valuable on he didn't want it. And I'm like, Why? Why is it that big of a deal? That you won't put it back in there. But we got it back. Um, so. So anyway, yeah, I, I enjoyed being a moderator and loot. And I do a lot of editing. And, and I was organizing the editing team for awhile, and we have kind of a big, big team, but not very many on the team actually do anything. So we have so

Scott Benner 46:16
I have a lot of experience with that. It's hard to like, there's never a shortage of people who say they want to help. But the people who follow through are lesser than the those who yell I want to help like I have, obviously, my I have a fairly robust Facebook group. I think that's a polite way to say, I don't want to say that I have the most active and valuable diabetes Facebook group that exists, but I think I do, but that's neither here nor there. But it's there's so many people in it and so many posts. Like there's two options. Either you get people to help you, or you just go wild west and you tell people like look, I'll do what I can do. But for the most part, you're on your own, which is how I grew it honestly, like I was not a very active like I don't I'm not into telling people how to be.

Tina 47:09
I remember when people were offering to help and you're like, Nope, this is a solo thing. And then all of a sudden, one day, turn the corner or hit the wall or something.

Scott Benner 47:18
I don't know what I hit, I might, I might have turned the wall and hit the corner. But I was just like, wow, this is so big. It does like I haven't looked, it changes so quickly, that I haven't looked in a little while. But my best guess is that it does 110 On average posts every day. Like I think that's about where it's at. Wow. Yeah, that's a lot to keep up with. Yeah, and you can't honestly, like you just you can try, and you can do your best etc. But it's not something that you can just, I don't know, you just can't stay on top of it the way that I think people would, would expect that you should, except I've learned that that's not really important. Like you don't have to moderate it like, quote unquote, the way people think you do. Mostly people are decent. And they they do the right thing for the most part. Yeah. And

Tina 48:11
they drag you in when they need to. And I know I've done that before. Yeah, you need to see this.

Scott Benner 48:17
Once in a while I get the like, hey, come over here. But I'm looking right now. There's just under 40,000. Members. Wow. In the last month, 35 36,000 of them were active. And the average day is about 100 posts can go up to 125. And every once in a while it goes down to 80. But only a couple of times a month. So there's a slow days. Yeah, the slow days, there's ad posts, add new posts. Yeah, there's no

Tina 48:49
way you can keep up with that. And I don't I mean, I I can't keep up with the posts and loop and learn. I don't I don't try. I mean, I don't try on the daily to keep up with them. I do like to go. I do like to keep up with them. But I'm so busy with other things too, that that that's hard for me. And I'm not the person either. That is like this is how you This is how you make it all work. That's not me. I do have insight and cool things to share sometimes. But um, but yeah, um, there are people on there, though, that I don't know how they do it. They see, you know, they basically see everything they are able to answer the questions. They have the knowledge, they have the ability to combat it.

Scott Benner 49:32
It's astonishing, like it really is, like between the new so it's a private group, so you have to answer questions to get in. But there are some times where the algorithm holds you up. And then you have to be like hand approved by somebody. I have to hand approve 30 accounts a day. And then eventually, you know, there's going to be a scammer every three months or every three weeks and you got to go in there and like stop somebody from scamming somebody out of Money or like something like that. And then once in a while somebody goes crazy. Like last night somebody went crazy. And I was like, where did that even come from? Was like, how did that happen? And it was, it was crazy. It was, this person had gotten not in my group and a different group, they had gotten ripped off. Somebody told them, they were selling supplies, they gave him some money in the person wasn't even a person, it was just a scammy account, they took their money and didn't give them anything. So they went around to try to tell people about this, which is I thought, great, you know, look out for these accounts. Like I got scammed by them. Another person comes in and says like, hey, like, you know, I, you gotta be careful. Like, it was like that kind of thing. And then those two people didn't jive. And then somehow these two people who completely agreed on trying to help people started fighting with each other. And I was, and it doesn't happen often. Like I know, people probably imagine that. That's what Facebook is constantly. I'm very proud of my group. Like it does not devolve like that. Hardly ever. But now I'm watching them fight with each other. And I'm like, What is going on now? And I'm working like, it's 10 o'clock at night. I'm making a podcast. I'm building web pages for the podcast, I'm answering emails, I've got like 30 people that want to come on the show. I'm trying to get back to them. People want to buy ads. I'm like all by myself. And I'm like you stop arguing. It's funny.

Tina 51:25
It's easy to get provoked. It really is. I know, there have been a couple of times where I've been like, an answer to somebody and I'm like, do I want that out there? No, no, go back and delete it.

Scott Benner 51:36
Yeah. Well, anyway, like it just like it's overall. And I don't even want to say this. Like, like, I'm like, oh, overall, don't it's good. Like, exceedingly overall, it's amazing. It's really good. If you're a background person looking at it, like the little things that pop up are just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do this. Like not now. Like why now? Or like, you know, I'm in the middle of like, trying to bring my kid home from school or something. And I've got like three notes like, Hey, you got to look at this post. And I'm like, leave me. Leave me out. Anyway, yeah. But it's, it's a really valuable way to learn, to ask questions to learn. I've never seen lurking and be more valuable. Like I had a woman pop up the other day. And she's, she's she sent me a note. She's like, I gotta tell you, I just, I've been in this group for three years. She's like, it's helped me immensely. I've never once posted or answered anybody. And I just like I I'm a faceless avatar. But I just wanted to tell you how like, helpful this was for me, like a person who's really engaged in it, but you would have no way of knowing. Oh, well, it's it's pretty pretty much almost Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, ghost. Yeah. So okay, so now you're looping. And you find looping to be valuable. It's working for Reese. Like, you're happy with it? Yeah, slide, you don't use loop anymore.

Tina 52:58
Well, we are currently looping Oh, okay. But we've, we've gone back and forth a little bit, we started using Omni pod five back in July of last summer, use it for two months. And then back to loop. Because there were things about Omnipod five that well, I should say about loop that I missed and things about Omnipod five that were bothering me, such as I was not used to the lack of being able to control you know, adjust things. And the also, I really like being able to Bolus from a watch, which is really nice. And, you know, several other things. But also, I did find that the time that I spent dealing with data, trying to trying to get settings right, trying to understand, um, drastically was was drastically reduced when I when we were using oh, five. And, and I I valued that highly. And so yeah, we went back to loop. And then in November, I believe no later it was in October, somebody asked me about sharing information about oh five so that he could get he's thinking about putting his daughter on it. And so I did and then I said hey, do you want us to hop back over on to oh five and go through it with you? And so I did that. And he's he's learned vast amount about it, you know, way beyond what what I started and he you know, he's helped me quite a bit and he's helped a lot of your listeners and, and learning learning to be less controlling with with the management that's a huge gift of Have Omnipod five, yeah. Um, and, and, and I just really appreciate that. And I took that when, when we transferred back to loop again and December, I took that back and I was trying to tinker things and loosen up things to make it so that we didn't need to be as precise. And I feel like I did a I did a really good job of that. Um, and part of part of the reason that we hopped back over. One of the reasons was that we were having trouble with lows on on the pot five, okay. And, and I was like, I just had I raised the target up, how to restart it, had I done some of those things. back then. I could have overcome that. But, but that's not what I did. So then, honestly, we made some videos about Omni pod five. And we we've had a lot of discussion about between four of us. And in in January, we had a ski trip coming up my family did and I said I'm gonna we're going to start oh, five again, and I'm going to start it at a very reduced basil, and see what happens. Put him on the ski slope. So we and you know, part of the draw is that the system runs magnificently. Without, you know, needing to have your phone near it or needing to have the controller near it. Right, that's, you know, I am. So we've used it for a total of six months. And in the time that we've used it, we've had we've had two times on it came disconnected. Yeah, twice. That's amazing. Right? And when Yeah, when I couldn't find numbers on my phone, I go look on, you know, on on the controller, and there would be numbers. Yeah. So it's astounding, and its reliability there. But yeah, we tried to try to back again in January and stayed on it for another three months. And honestly, I think we ran out of pot. So I switch back over to loot. And, um, and we've been doing that since April,

Scott Benner 57:22
where are you going to land, do you think we'll see that

Tina 57:25
that used to really, you know, eat at me, I was like, I need to make a choice. I've got one foot on the boat and one foot on the shore and I need to make a choice. But honestly, they do they both do such a good job. depending on you know, the time you want to put in the needs that you have. Um, I just, I'm just I feel grateful that we're able to use both. And, um, I also have no problem with tinkering with settings, just like, let's see how this works. It's not like, Oh, we're gonna make sure I do the exact right thing. And I keep him down and range. I don't like it when he's out of range. But I also know how to fix that. And I also know how to tell if we're heading in the wrong direction. You know, so but with I was I was actually quite tickled with oh five, and, and what I feel was my growth and understanding of it. So we started him with the low Basal when we went skiing, and that was a complete dumpster fire day. Because we lost Dexcom about an hour into skiing. And then when when we got a new one up and running, it was 200 high. And a lot of times it floats back down, you know and and lands for you nicely, and we weren't so we were afraid to calibrate it. And it was going from 200 High to 100 high and back and forth. So we just pretty much left him high the whole time. And then I was like, Okay, I need to get this thing's right on here. And because downstream, what I was seeing was that the Max Max insulin bar, you know, the little orange bar was appearing. And I was like, okay, the way to the way to change this is to restart it with higher basil. And so I so I did and it just solved the problem and everything settled out.

Scott Benner 59:33
So when you your first idea to outsmart it was we're going to be doing activity so I'll restart the system with a lower Basal rate, but that wasn't enough. And so you went back to the regular Basal rate that you should have used or you got more aggressive or was it somewhere in between?

Tina 59:52
What I did so so that the point was to keep him from going low. Make it so that it's more aggressive. But raise the so it'll hit harder, but raise the target so that he has plenty of time, plenty of space to if it hits too hard to land, because one of the issues with him is he goes from very sensitive to not very sensitive, and he flips. And is that something you hear about with boys?

Scott Benner 1:00:28
A lot. I mean, in my, in my heart, I would wonder if that wasn't like activity related.

Tina 1:00:35
We see the activity related. needs change. Yeah, definitely.

Scott Benner 1:00:41
What about around growth?

Tina 1:00:44
Yep. And he, he's been growing like a maniac lately. And that was not something that we saw. You know, we didn't see that for a long time. And then we started seeing that, right.

Scott Benner 1:00:56
Yeah, I mean, somewhere between growth activity. Eating like this is eating cycled differently. Does he eat heavier carbs sometimes than others? That kind of stuff?

Tina 1:01:09
It's pretty random. Yeah, that could be honestly, he, you know, he's he's a regular diet eater. Yeah. And we never even before. Before diabetes, we didn't do a lot of cake. And, you know, we did on special days, it wasn't like everyday, you're gonna cookie, that sort of thing. But he also, you know, he needs plenty of that. But there are times like, for example, he's swim. And he has swim team practice at 330 these days. So I want to get him his iob insulin on board reduced by the time it's time for that. So I don't feed him or I try not to have them eat high protein, high fat for lunch, I try to push that more towards breakfast on these days. And then at lunch, make it so it's more carby. So the insulin is out of his system. He doesn't have to have that next bullet. Right.

Scott Benner 1:02:10
Right. That's great. I mean, that's, I think, like most of like successful activity is not having insulin on board while you're during the activity. Like, you know, it's just it's it's the easiest way to avoid lows. I think that and yeah, you you start to move meals around a little bit. So that, you know, to that act of insulin isn't there during the day or whatever you're doing. What, what kind of sports does he play? Yeah,

Tina 1:02:36
he's a swimmer. Just just so he's he's a your realm. swimmer. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:02:40
So that's a lot of effort. And a lot of Yeah, excellent. Yeah. I would imagine you can get pretty low while you're serving. And then yeah,

Tina 1:02:48
and we've we've seen a man with more insulin on board, I like to send him one and with about half a unit, or less, and if it's old, that's great. Yeah, um, but we sent a man with a lot more and with it being fresher. But it's, and some days we find we can handle that better than others. But honestly, the fact that he that we can't see his numbers when he's in the pool, that's what usually sure makes it the hardest,

Scott Benner 1:03:19
because Bluetooth doesn't work through water.

Tina 1:03:22
Yeah, and actually, we did get, we put the the pod and the transmitter, the sensor next to each other a few times.

Scott Benner 1:03:32
And the rhombi. Pod five kept working. And it worked

Tina 1:03:35
in the pool. Yeah, so that's not reliable. Right. Right. So

Scott Benner 1:03:39
yeah, I don't know if people understand or listening that on the pod five, like if you thinking about loop, loop, the algorithm lives in an app on your phone. And so the brain is in the phone, and then it has to talk to the pod. The Omni pod five, which is the, you know, was the system made by the company, the algorithm actually lives on the circuit board inside of the pod. So if you don't need to be anywhere near your phone, because the sensor, the G right now, just G six is talking directly to the pod. So even if you don't see anything on a screen somewhere, it's still talking back and forth. And you're saying that even though he was in the water, you got some, some connectivity out of that. That's pretty cool.

Tina 1:04:20
Right? But it's, I've thought about actually making some kind of a bubble thing that where you can put them both together and put adhesive around it. And, you know, try and keep them in contact without water between them when he's in the pool. But you know,

Scott Benner 1:04:38
yeah, no, I think you got a little too much free time. You might want to find a hobby.

Tina 1:04:43
Yeah, right. I have free time.

Scott Benner 1:04:47
You gotta find a different hobbies what I'm saying. Yeah, so just I appreciate all this. Like we're coming up on an hour. I want to make sure we're not missing anything. Is there anything we are not having talked about so far that you wanted to make sure we did. Uh,

Tina 1:05:01
um, let's see. I think we're pretty good. i The point is, I guess between Omnipod five and loop is, I just find them both to be incredibly valuable. I find I'm, you know, part of the thing with Loop Two is since I am doing the service that I do via loop and learn it, it kind of benefits me to be in that realm, which I fumbled a little bit with my oh, five speak, I think. And that's probably because I'm not as in that realm right now. But, um, and as far as the loop Aman goes, Omnipod. Five is just, you know, I think it's a great, great thing. Yeah. And, you know, the, the Chief Medical Officer of insolate, has told us and told me personally more than once that if it weren't for the DIY community, insolate would be nowhere near where they are on the pod five wouldn't be what it is, you know, and she has said, Thank you, thank you so much. And so I feel like, you know, aside from all the other, you know, reasons to do it to keep pushing with DIY, even though there are some really good FDA approved options, I feel like, it's really great to keep pushing, because innovation is constant, there are some new things coming up in the loop realm that are going to be really helpful to people.

Scott Benner 1:06:38
Tell me about,

Tina 1:06:40
well, actually, there's a new there is a section, it's on the loop and learn website, it's not in the docs, because it's looping, learn specific, but it's a it's a development, little development section in the customizations section of the build, section. And there are three new things in there. There's, I get this, I get this wrong, but it's glucose. Um, let me get in my app, and I'll see glucose base partial application factor. And that allows and that one has been pushed to dev actually, to the dev branch, that one allows, when you're in auto Bolus, it starts ramping up the amount of starts at a lower amount of insulin Bolus. And then it ramps it up as your glucose rises, instead of it being a constant 40%. Or the constant 17%, that Temp Basal offer offers. There's that one. And then another one that's been pushed to Dev is the integral retrospective correction, which actually uses more information, looking back as to what you know what happened. And it will affect what it does from there with that interesting. And then there's also one that's called profiles, which I'm super excited about this one, it allows you to set up a different profile, or different profiles, just like right now, you probably have one profile set up on the phone. But you can duplicate it, and then change some things and then say this is to you know, this one is the main one, this is Tuesday, because Tuesday is you know, this activity that I need to change things for and and then you can just choose to your profile, when you need it nice instead of it's like it runs constantly, instead of setting on an override.

Scott Benner 1:08:46
Wow, that's very cool. I love that. Yeah. When do you think we see all that?

Tina 1:08:51
Well, the first thing that I told you about have just been pushed into dev, I think on the 23rd. And then I'm not sure about this one. But I think once people are trying to in dev a lot. There are a lot of people that are using these already. And when they see it be stable, and Dev and see that it's what they want. They'll push it to the main loop pool.

Scott Benner 1:09:13
So that'll happen in loop three. Yes, yeah.

Tina 1:09:17
Well, I say yes. There are things that happen that make a leap from Loop Two to loop three, and there will be something that makes a leap from loop three to loop four is probably not this, but I can't be sure. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:09:30
it's interesting. All right, cool. Well, yeah, way to figure out a way to timestamp your episode to get it moved up in the in the player Good job. Got yourself out way, way ahead. That's a that's very exciting news. I can see the value top my head for the different profiles 100% and the ramping up is a big deal and also being retrospective. I mean, all this is good information, right because you make I'm assuming the retrospective apart is, it's going to be able to say, hey, two hours ago, you made a pretty big Bolus. And you know, you said there were 80 carbs here, but we're still 200. So I can't just assume this is all going to be okay. I gotta be more aggressive. Is that the idea of that?

Tina 1:10:14
It is expected to be more? Oh, well, I haven't tested it yet. But those that those that have say, Yes, it does do a better job with that. And if your settings are right, it could be more aggressive than you want. And right now I have the the glucose. It's funny, I remembered the name is an acronym, based on another acronym, an acronym that I'm familiar with. And then they changed the acronym on me. So I stumble, but it's glucose based partial application factor. And that one we started using on Saturday or Friday. And I'm wanting to see what that does. Yeah. Before I apply the next one.

Scott Benner 1:11:02
Good. I can't wait. I love it. I have people who helped me, I am going to tell you I'm inept at loop, for the most part, like the back end stuff, like the setting it up and the, you know, that stuff. I'm, I don't know, my brain doesn't just work that way. But people are always very kind and helped me.

Tina 1:11:20
The kindness of a community, the people in the community is, I mean, I've never seen anything like it. I've never seen anything like it. And I've never had occasion and need anything. But truly, you know, people in this community are just astoundingly giving. And

Scott Benner 1:11:40
I agree. Yeah, I can't tell you I'm in that includes you. Oh, stop. I mean, listen, I deserve a little help I get the word out about loot pretty well. But I, it's just not like, I'm a good example of my brain doesn't wrap around it. If like if it wasn't for people, I mean, let's be more honest, if it wasn't for the podcast, then people would probably not be as interested in helping, but I bet you I still could find somebody to help. I'm just saying like my brain, like, as many times like, Mike's a great example. Mike's been helping me for a year, right with. And he tells me something and every time he tells me, I think you know what, I'm going to remember this so that I don't have to bother Mike again. And then it comes up and I'm I'm like in a blank panic. I'm like, I don't know how to do this. It's yeah, I don't know what's wrong with how my brain works. But it doesn't Well,

Tina 1:12:35
it's funny because I can you know, we, we have a new, a new way to build a loop that doesn't involve a Mac, we have a couple of new ways to do it. One of which Mike just built, you know, made and dropped on us one time, and that was the remote build amazing. But the the Xcode build on the Mac has been refined so much that it's it's gotten very easy to do. I've built, you know, I don't build super often. But I got so I can build it without help. And I can help other people do it. Which is awesome for me because I want to help people. Yeah, and, um, but the, the, the new browser build that you do on GitHub, which you can do on a PC. I look at I've actually read the documentation for that numerous times. I've edited it, I've you know, the I've made changes to it that that help it be more readable and usable and stuff. I can't do it. But like I I've tried, and I'm like it's just, there's something missing. One of

Scott Benner 1:13:45
the astounding things that's happened in the last year is that there was a like, the app needs to be rebuilt. And Arden was at school 700 miles from here. And Mike was like, yeah, we'll just do this, this this click here. That'll send her an email. Then she just clicks on the email and it just builds the app on her phone. And I'm like, Okay,

Tina 1:14:06
sounds magical. And Magic Mike. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:14:08
Like I'm like, that's, I'm sure he would really love that. And, and I'm like, you know it now I actually have an episode with Mike recorded. I'm gonna put yours out first and then I'm gonna put his out and I'm gonna call his Magic Mike. Tell him just to mess with him.

Unknown Speaker 1:14:26
And oh, get in trouble. Yeah, but

Scott Benner 1:14:29
I swear to you as it's happening and like, that's amazing. And then we went to do it again. And I just, I'm like, I know there's a way to do it. I don't remember it. And I always feel like he's looking at me like, you idiot. Like, oh, no, but he's Mike is so lovely. Yeah, I such

Tina 1:14:45
a kind just, he's such a kind con person in such a cool person. And, um, and patient and he you know, he has a degree in Computer stuff. And that's one of his gifts, you know? Yeah. Wonderful. I have I have another another guy who will remind you of Mike a bit who I'm going to send your way to, um, that I think you'll really like.

Scott Benner 1:15:14
Okay, wonderful. I love these conversations. So I appreciate this one to you today and the one that I had with Mike and God who like just have on recently that did such a good job of talking about moving from loop to Omni pod five. John FOSS on John. Yeah, well, his episodes terrific.

Tina 1:15:32
It is terrific. Yeah. He's, he's like a savant savant stage.

Scott Benner 1:15:37
I mean, the way he talks about it is just very clear to me. And yeah, that's a skill in itself, right? To be talking about something so technical and to make it feel accessible while you're talking about it's really, really a skill.

Tina 1:15:53
Yeah. And he, he's, um, his daughter is mostly managing on her own now. And that's what we're moving to we've, you know, Reese's 13, as I said, and so I'm not, you know, not pushing for him to be independent anytime real soon, but we're working towards that.

Scott Benner 1:16:16
Oh, I'll tell you right now that aren't artists, like, she's independent with it. You know, like, I'll help her sometimes. Or I'll send her a note. I'll be like, hey, you need to, like, you know, you gotta be more aggressive here. Whatever you did two hours ago didn't work or like that kind of stuff. But like she, she handles it. Like, even the other day. She's home now. And I walked into her room, and I was like, hey, you need to she's like, I got I got it. I'm like, okay. That's cool. That's really cool. That's great. So I bet you're

Tina 1:16:45
glad to have her home.

Scott Benner 1:16:46
I really am. I would like it if everybody came home, and we just pretended it was 10 years ago. We lived here forever, but I don't think that's gonna happen. So that's how I feel to get something. Okay. All right, Tina, thank you so much for doing this with me. I really appreciate it.

A huge thank you to Tina for coming on today and sharing her story with us and talking so much about loop and algorithms. I also want to thank cozy Earth for being a great sponsor this year, they're still with us because you guys are going to cozy earth.com and using the offer code juicebox when you make a purchase, so thanks to them. And thanks to you. Let's also thank the place where Arden gets her Dexcom and Omni pod supplies from us med go to us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check today. And once you know everything's good to go, you can get your supplies the same way we do from us summit.

The after dark series from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From smoking weed to drinking with type one perspectives from both male and females about having sex with diabetes. We talk about depression, self harm, eating disorders, mental illness, heroin addiction, use of psychedelics, living with bipolar, being a child of divorce, and honestly so much more. I can't list them all, but you can by going to juicebox podcast.com. Going to the top and clicking on after dark. There you'll see episode 807 called one thing after another episode 825 California sober. Other after dark episodes include unsupported survivor's guilt, space musician, dead frogs, these titles will make you say what is this about? And then when you listen, you'll think that was crazy. juicebox podcast.com Find the after dark series. It's fantastic. If you are a loved one has been diagnosed with type one diabetes. The bold beginnings series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to begin listening. In this series, Jenny Smith and I will go over the questions most often asked at the beginning of type one. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist who is also a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for 35 years. My name is Scott Benner and I am the father of a child who has type one diabetes. Our daughter Arden was diagnosed in 2006 at the age of two. I believe that at the core of diabetes management, understanding how insulin works, and how food and other variables impact your system is of the utmost importance. The bold beginning series will lead you down the path of understanding. This series is made up of 24 episodes, and it begins at episode 690. Get your podcasts or audio player. I'll list those episodes at the end of this. To listen, you can go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top and choose bold beginnings. Or go into any audio app like Apple podcasts, or Spotify. And then find the episodes that correspond with the series. Those lists again, are at Juicebox Podcast up in the menu or if you're in the private Facebook group. In the featured tab. The private Facebook group has over 40,000 members. There are conversations happening right now and 24 hours a day that you'd be incredibly interested in. So don't wait. So don't wait. Check out the bold beginning series today and get started on your journey. Episode 698 defines the bold beginning series 702, honeymooning 706 adult diagnosis 711 and 712 go over diabetes terminologies in Episode 715 We talked about fear of insulin in 719 the 1515 rule, Episode 723 long acting insulin 727 target range 731 food choices 735 Pre-Bolus 739 carbs 743 stacking 747 flexibility in Episode 751 We discussed school in Episode 755 Exercise 759 guilt, fears hope and expectations. In episode 763 of the bold beginning series. We talk about community 772 journaling 776 technology and medical supplies. Episode 780 Treating low blood glucose episode 784 dealing with insurance 788 talking to your family and episode 805 illness and ketone management. Check it out. It will change your life. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast

#976 Type Two Stories: Nanci

Nanci has type 2 diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 976 of the Juicebox Podcast

I am back with another type two story today is with Nancy. Nancy had gestational diabetes with I think her second pregnancy she's a type two now has been for quite some time. And this story is I think it's a lovely I think it's an honest portrayal of what it might be like to live with type two diabetes. And it offers some real insight to things that maybe could have been done differently for Nancy, but things you could definitely implement now. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Save 40% By using the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com I am wearing my cozy Earth joggers right now. And I put brand new cozy Earth sheets on my bed yesterday and I got in them and I thought this is how it's supposed to be save 40% off your entire purchase at cozy earth.com When you use the offer code juicebox at checkout

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the blood glucose meter that my daughter uses. And one that I think you should check out whether you have pre diabetes, type two diabetes or type one diabetes because it is so incredibly awesome and accurate. That Contour Next One Gen blood glucose meter. Learn more Get started today by right now online. Find out about the Second Chance test strips the whole thing. All that stuff you can learn at my link contour next.com forward slash juicebox. Today's show is also sponsored by touched by type one now. Right now Today is August 8. So that means in just a little over a month touched by type one.org. Programs tab annual conference in just over a month. I will be speaking at the touch by type one annual conference. It's a free conference for individuals of all ages and backgrounds. The goal of this conference is to educate, encourage and empower all lives touch with type one diabetes, whether you have type one, or just the connection to someone who does. The annual conference provides a unique opportunity to be surrounded by the nation's top experts related to thriving despite diabetes. And I feel weird saying that because I'm gonna be one of those people come see me speak on September 16. At the Rosen Shingle Creek, Orlando, Florida location, come on touch by type one.org It's free. And Jenny's gonna be there. Go Register Now what are you doing? What's back that place?

Nanci 3:02
My name is Nancy with an eye not a why? Almost 58. I'll be 58 at the end of the month. And I am a type two diabetic along with a myriad of other things.

Scott Benner 3:16
Oh, that's, that's gonna make a great conversation. Thank you for having health issues and coming. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. So you're 57 Almost 58. When did you learn that you had type two.

Nanci 3:32
So I had gestational diabetes with my second pregnancy. And after I had my second daughter it was kind of it was strange, because I didn't know what gestational diabetes was like. I felt like no one ever explained it to me. No one around me had ever had it. I never had read about it. I mean, I just didn't know what it was. And mostly I felt like when I would go for my checkups. They would well kind of berate me about how much weight I was gaining and that my blood sugar levels weren't good. And I really still like think back to then and I'm just so surprised at how little I knew and how little I was told about it.

Scott Benner 4:25
Nancy, let me ask you a question before you go any farther. Is there any chance that in your spare time you torture puppies? No, it's what is that noise?

Nanci 4:37
I'm so sorry. It's my dog. slash my daughter's dog. And she she's a poodle and she's extremely needy. And she's

Scott Benner 4:49
outside of the room.

Nanci 4:50
Yeah, she's

Scott Benner 4:52
what would you let her in?

Nanci 4:54
I'ma let her in. Yeah, hopefully hopefully she'll behave because she really doesn't like being there. I'm so sorry. All

Scott Benner 5:02
right now it just sounds like you're breaking a law of humanity. While you're

Nanci 5:06
Yeah, she's, she's she's pretty good at that to be honest. She her name, her name is Luna. She's little white poodle. And she is 11 years old and probably the most needy dog on the planet.

Scott Benner 5:23
Well let her and let's see what let's see what happens to Luna when she comes in. By the way around here. The moon was amazing last night something called a Strawberry Moon. I don't know if it Yes,

Nanci 5:31
yes. And and yesterday we were talking about how she was even more needy. And someone said, oh, you know there's a full moon and dogs get a little bit more. And I had never heard that before. So

Scott Benner 5:49
yeah, is she in? She then we tell you a story. My mom and dad owned a poodle that they loved very much. And then they adopted me and the poodle went after me and my mom got rid of the poodle. Oh, my goodness. thank my mom for sticking up for me right now. Well,

Nanci 6:09
I mean, not I'm not gonna say that my daughter doesn't love her dog. But my daughter just had her second baby. And so that's why I have the dog. Luna lived with me years ago when my daughter still lived here wasn't married. And she was like both our dog and then my daughter moved out and she took the dog. And truthfully, I missed the dog more than her. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. And so I had visitation with the dog. So I would take the dog every few weekends and after her first daughter was born, we were kind of concerned because Luna can have a little bit of an attitude. So they did okay together. But after the second baby my daughter was a little overwhelmed. So I have had the dog for almost three months now. And we don't know what's gonna happen.

Scott Benner 7:09
How much do you get paid to watch the dog?

Nanci 7:13
I get love and adoration.

Scott Benner 7:16
I just took my dog either. We use this terrific like kind of private kennel near my house. So it's lovely for the dogs. They I think they like it. They're better than they like it in our house. And I know what I just paid her to watch my dogs for 10 days. So I think you are being underpaid love is not enough. Oh my God. Are you paying for the food too?

Nanci 7:37
No, that's this is so funny Scott that you asked that. So Luna being a poodle, you know, she's had some stomach issues throughout her life. So like I said, She's almost 11 So my daughter, you know, buys her this bougie food from the farmer's dog. Am I allowed to say that? I'm sorry. Sure. And it is expensive, like almost $300 a month for dog food. And so I was

Scott Benner 8:06
yeah, you guys were royalty. Am I talking to royalty? Oh my gosh, that's lovely. Do I curtsy to you? Are you a queen? $300 a month to feed your dog. Hold on a second. Yeah. 300 times 12 I can do this in my head six. And then three. Is it $3,600 a year to feed that poodle? Yeah.

Nanci 8:31
I know. It's crazy.

Scott Benner 8:34
I know. He's not laughing at me. But I am. Oh my god.

Nanci 8:40
I mean, so that was like one of the things I was like, you know, we can take Luna but her bougie lifestyle is above my paygrade so you're gonna have to continue to pay for the dog food. So she still pays for the dog food.

Scott Benner 8:57
I'm gonna I'm going to tell you something. We're gonna get to your type two diabetes in just a second. Okay, but I remember gestational the whole thing I got it in my head. Don't you worry. We had to take a trip to see our kids right. And I have two dogs. India's old like I'm not kidding you. He's 15 like India is the kind of old that like when you wake up in the morning you'll stare at him to see if he's breathing and when he's breathing you go huh no kidding. Like it's that he's that he's that all right. And then Basil is like seven or eight which I guess is getting old but he's pretty much like luggage. You could just pick them up put them down somewhere else he exists again. I think his brains the size of a Walmart like he's fantastic. You know? So our kennel says look in these two old he can't come here anymore. We have to find another kennel. Alright, I understand. We only use this place like once a year so it's not like we're great business for them or anything like that. Just you know too much to watch him to get his age. And so I find another kennel that's like don't worry about him being an older dog. We Trouble that oh my god, it's terrific. Thanks. We dropped them off. Here's the play. I'm going to drive to Atlanta with my son. And the next day Arden is going to drive to Savannah. Or what am I supposed to say she, Where does she go to school? Chicago, I think that's what I'm supposed to say. And Kelly and Kelly is going to drive to work on and goes to school. So I leave a day before I am halfway to Atlanta, when my phone rings. And the kennel says, Hey, you got to come pick your dogs up. And I was like, what now? And she goes, and all I could think is oh, God, indeed. Like, scared them like you. He went into one of his like, staring at the wall faces and they were like, oh, no, like, what's wrong? And she goes, Basil won't stop knocking his water over. And I went, Oh, that's easy. Just don't give him water. Because I'm in self preservation mode at this point. I'm like, no, no, no, like, this isn't happening, you know? So she just No, listen, you know, we tried doing this. We tried giving him a bucket. We tried tying the bucket to the cage. He flips it over immediately. We can't leave him here without water. And I was like, Sure you can. It'll be fine. I was like, I mean, not forever. Like, give him water with this food. He'll drink it, and then he won't have it the rest of the time until he eats again. Wait, no, no, I can't do that. I'm like, I mean, that's what we do at our house. But okay, I'm like, like, there's not always water in a bowl like there is but not always like it really. I can't talk her into it. So I'm calling my wife. I'm like, I don't know what to do. And so I call the woman back again, I tried to talk her out of it. And in the midst of trying to talk her out of it. I say to her, Listen, I can't do I can't. I was like, here's what you're gonna need to do. Let them outside. If Jesus wants him to find us. When he comes back, you know, if he comes back, when I get back from my trip, whatever, I'll go to the woods where you let them out. And I'll call his name a couple times. I'm like, if he comes back then God bless. And if not, I'm like, I have no other options here. I can't I can't not. I can't get oh my deal with this. And she's like, No, oh my gosh, out of no partying goes. You know, we just bought that new water dish. Like, like, I want to be clear. Bezos never flipped his water bowl over here at my house ever once. Never. But recently gotten this water dish that didn't allow for sloshing because because India's messy when he drinks, and it has little rubber feet on it. And oh, Arden Kelly ran that over to the kennel put it in there, Basil looked at it. He was like, Oh, this is cool. And he left it alone. And that was that. But I was willing. I'm even worried were I was like you're committed, let them outside. And we'll find them a reward when we get back. And I didn't really mean that. But I was out of options. Anyway, dogs are a pain. People shouldn't buy them. They're loved

Nanci 12:58
I, but they are there. They're the greatest companions. And they're, they are like, so sweet and fun. But there are a lot there. There are a lot. No,

Scott Benner 13:09
I would have abandoned a child. If somebody told me I had to drive back from Italy.

Nanci 13:13
Right? Like, sorry, drop her off at the bus station. We'll see you whenever

Scott Benner 13:18
Oh my god. So now, you know this last time we left them nd so old that that the person says to me, I have to ask you like, if he passes while he's here, what do you want us to do? And I was like, we'll call the vet. And you know, I'll work it out with them. What we would do and everything. And she goes, would you want us to call and tell you? And I didn't hesitate? I was like, Yes, of course. And I said is that a question? She goes, a lot of people ask not to be bothered on their vacations if their dogs die. Then those people are monsters that like Yeah, and if you're listening, and you've done that you're a piece of shit. And so it's a very easy thing to like to come down on the side of I was like, no, please, if anything's wrong with my pets, please call me immediately. I might tell you to let them out. But

Nanci 14:09
I want to know do you want to know safe house? Yeah. unrealised

Scott Benner 14:12
she told me a lot of people say that. Like if he dies. Don't tell me. We'll find out when we get back. I'm like, oh, that's I don't know where to fall on that one. But anyway. That's extreme. Yeah. Speaking of extreme, tell your daughter. I said She's out of her fucking mind. Okay, I

Nanci 14:30
know. You're not the first got, believe me.

Speaker 1 14:36
10s of 1000s of people listening right now going, that girl is crazy. So anyway, very nice that you would do that for the doc. You get gestational diabetes with your second kid during the pregnancy, which was a long time ago because how old are your children?

Nanci 14:51
Um, so the one that I had gestational with is 31.

Scott Benner 14:55
Wow. So that was, yeah, 31 years ago. Gestational Diabetes. I was confused about something people are going to be like, I don't know how Scott did this after this long tangent about dogs but I remember you saying they were giving you trouble about your weight. Was this during your pregnancy people were?

Nanci 15:12
Yes. Okay. Yes. And I had I had already had severe insecurities about my weight, I had that pretty much to my whole life.

Scott Benner 15:27
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Nanci 16:53
And I did gain a lot of weight. I mean, I am only five to maybe five, three on a good day. And I was upwards of over over 200 pounds when I gave birth to my first daughter. And then again, upwards of over 200 pounds when I gave birth to my second daughter. But I had gained a lot of weight rapidly at the beginning of my second pregnancy. And the nurses, when I got on the scale would just give me like this shocked look that they couldn't believe that I gained that much weight. And one nurse even said, are you having twins? And I was like no, not that I know of. I'm just big. And one of the one of the funniest or it's funny now it wasn't funny them but one of the funniest stories that I ever tell people. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, she was born right before Christmas. And so I was at a mall with my mom trying to get all of the Christmas shopping done before she came because I knew she was going to come and then I wouldn't be able to go and do all the Christmas shopping. And I mean I was huge. And I was standing outside of the store waiting for my mom and a complete stranger walked up to me and looked at me and she said, You are the biggest pregnant woman I have ever seen.

Scott Benner 18:29
Oh, Merry Christmas.

Nanci 18:31
I know. And I oh my goodness, I immediately started just bawling. And my mom came out and she thought I was in labor. And she was like what is happening? And I couldn't even talk. I was so upset. This woman would say that to me. But yeah, yeah, well.

Scott Benner 18:50
Hey, Sandra. Wait, what? No, no. When you said you were over 200 When you gave birth? What were you when you started like on the day you got pregnant?

Nanci 18:59
So with my first daughter, I mean, I was I was probably only about 125 pounds. So I probably Yeah, I probably gained a good 7580 85 pounds what my first pregnancy and then was with my son.

Scott Benner 19:17
Was it mentioned to you during your first one. Doctor say hey, we're putting on a lot of weight here or I'm uncomfortable with Was there ever any conversation about that? No, no. Did you feel that way?

Nanci 19:30
I mean, I did. I did because I was very aware of how big I was getting. And I felt huge. And I I knew that I had gained more than what normal I guess regular pregnant women to me. Seem like what they gain but yeah, in my first pregnancy. I never remember them. meaning my OBGYN or the nurses or anybody saying anything. I don't know if it is because I was so young, I was only 23 When I had my first daughter, so I don't know if maybe it was because I was so young and maybe not that I was that much older. I was 25 when I had my second daughter, so, but I didn't lose all of the baby weight from my first daughter when I got pregnant with my second daughter. So I probably was about 150 pounds when I got pregnant with my second daughter, and again, was probably, you know, to 10 to 11 When I gave birth to her,

Scott Benner 20:36
did they look at your blood sugar during the first pregnancy?

Nanci 20:41
I believe that I did have the, you know, like three hour glucose test during my first pregnancy, but I complete I can't, like totally remember, you know, because it was a long time ago. And I was young and and I I don't really remember, I definitely remember with my second daughter having it and not passing I guess, you know, and my, again, I have the same OBGYN so I'm not really sure. Like, why? It seems like a different experience. But, um, yeah, he would just kind of like, you know, ask me what I was eating. And then when I would say what I was eating, he'd say, you know, are you crazy? You can't eat that you're gonna you're gonna kill yourself and your baby. And I was like, what? Like, I just remember like, not understanding really what they were saying.

Scott Benner 21:42
Did you Nancy feel like you were eating more food than was reasonable?

Nanci 21:50
I don't think I don't think I was to be honest. I think I probably over indulged in some stuff. Okay. But I do think I had, like, I ate the wrong things. You know, I, I ate pasta, and bread, and heavy carb food, which I know now. But back then, to be honest, I really didn't know like, I I remember, you know, when I was younger, I was just thought sugar made you fat, or sugar made you have bad things happen to you. But I'm half Italian. And so, you know, we eat pasta and bread. And can I you know,

Scott Benner 22:37
can I ask also? I mean, this is 31 years ago. So, you know, a while back? Was there any like that like, well, I'm pregnant. I can eat whatever I want. Now, did that used to be? It was right.

Nanci 22:49
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm here eating for two. And I mean, most of my family members felt that way and thought that way. Yeah. So just Yeah, go ahead. You can have it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:05
Wow. So when you are diagnosed with gestational, and your second pregnancy, how do they manage it?

Nanci 23:13
So the only way that they managed it was by having me die diet. They just said I had to eat a better diet and that I couldn't have bread and pasta and to eat a lot of salad vegetables. And

Scott Benner 23:36
that was it. Did that work? Did that move your blood sugar down?

Nanci 23:40
I mean, I know that when I would go to my doctor's appointment, and they would test my blood sugar. They would say, Oh, it's a little high. But again, like I kind of remember like one time I think it was like 155 But, and I was like, is that good? Is that bad? And really, it was so strange to me. I think now knowing what I know. It was so strange to me back then that they, they didn't educate me at all like it was you would think I was living in like the 1930s in some backwoods town somewhere that, you know, they were just like, Oh, you're fine. I I just remember her I fell out knowing of it back. Yeah. Right. Like I just remember not not knowing anything and no one explaining anything to me.

Scott Benner 24:36
Okay, so they didn't give you they didn't give you insolence. Nope. Okay, so was the baby born like, big?

Nanci 24:45
She was huge. Okay. She was she was 10 pounds when she was born they and again back it's so funny because my you know, my daughter who just had two children. She's had a I don't know, seven or eight ultrasounds, I feel like with each baby, and when I had my children, they would not do an ultrasound on you, unless they really thought there was something wrong. It wasn't it wasn't a normal thing that you had done. So I remember about two, two or three weeks before I was due. My sister lot actually just had a baby and I was at the hospital visiting her, we have the same doctor. And I had been sent for an ultrasound. And I was sitting in my sister in law's room, I had to have the ultrasound went over there. And my daughter came in, which was her doctor as well, completely ignored her and looked at me and said, Do you know how big your baby is? You need to go over to the office right now. So they can schedule us for a C section. And I was like, Oh, my goodness. So yeah, I went over to the office. And they scheduled me and brought me in for the C section. And when they did the ultrasound, they said that they were reading that the baby was about 11 and a half pounds. But she ended up being 10. Because I just had so much fluid that yeah, she was 10 pounds, she was very big. So then

Scott Benner 26:18
after you have your, your daughter, your second child, how long until like, do you have type two diabetes right away? Or how do you find out about it.

Nanci 26:28
So after I had her, they, you know, had done all like the blood tests and things that they do in the hospital and my doctor had come in and he was like, it doesn't look like your blood sugar levels have, you know, dropped back down to normal. So I, you know, want you to see your just regular family doctor for this. And I remember a couple of months after I had my daughter, I went for a checkup and they you know, had test I had had like a fasting glucose done. And my fasting was like 160. So my doctor was like, oh, yeah, you have type two diabetes. And again, they just said, this is what we want. We want you to be on this diet, and we want you to get more exercise and you have to lose weight, you absolutely have to lose weight. And so that's what I did. I I went balls to the wall, I ate nothing but salad. And I walked miles and I lost the weight. And when I lost the weight and I went and had all my blood tests done again, my blood sugar's were pretty good. So basically, that was my

Scott Benner 27:45
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I was. Yeah, the lettuce for the rest of your life and walk right nonstop. Yeah, I think I'll be fine.

Nanci 27:52
And, and that's how I thought Scott like that is what I believe to be the rest of my life. And that just started the roller coaster of me dieting, trying every diet under the sun, you name it, I've done it. Gaining weight

Scott Benner 28:13
is that can I ask you Is that because you wanted to eat more normally, but you were just searching for something that wouldn't impact your blood sugar?

Nanci 28:20
Yes. All right. And I tried, I tried everything I and I would go six months, and I would lose weight and I would have good test results. And then after the six months, I would be like, Oh my God, I need a cheeseburger. And and so I would start eating what you know, quotations normal, I would I would think I have to eat normal, and then I would gain weight again. And then I would go and Jenny Craig and I would lose weight and then I would gain weight and go on Weight Watchers. And I mean it just went on like that for years.

Unknown Speaker 29:01
How long do you think

Nanci 29:04
I'm all the way to when I was. So in 2012 I had a spinal fusion where I had to have my C four through my C seven and my neck fused. Really probably just due to inactive lifestyle from when I was young. Because I didn't really like suffer any kind of trauma that would have caused me to have the injury in my neck that I had. So growing up little backstory growing up. I was extremely active. I rode horses competitively, I skied. I rode motorcycles. I was a cheerleader I ran track, so always fit I was always moving, doing stuff and I'm in 2012, I had to have this surgery. And after the surgery, the doctors were like, and I had been running prior to that doctors are like, No more running. You have to do low impact you can swim, you know. And I think I just was like, I, at that point, I just was like, I give up. I am so I'm just, you know, I'm done with all of

Scott Benner 30:30
it. Was really helping you with your type two.

Nanci 30:34
Yeah. And in between that, right. So I was doing like, I went on the diet where, like you, you don't eat anything white. So you have any sugar or rice or white potato or pasta. And I was like, you know, champion through that. And then again, went back to like, Oh, I really want to eat bread. I want to eat this. And then I found keto at some point. And I was like, the poster child for keto. I mean, I was trying to sell it to everybody I knew because I lost weight on keto. So I was like, This is the greatest thing. You can eat bacon and cheese and still lose weight. It's so great.

Scott Benner 31:14
Until that one day, were you looking at a slice of bacon and think I can't I can't, I can't do that. Again. I can't, there can be no more grease that comes from me. And it's unpleasant. Right? And so, wow. And through all of this. Are you? Like, are you managing with a meter? Do you have insulin? Like, what are you doing with your diabetes? So

Nanci 31:38
so the only so then what? So what happened then was I gained a whole bunch more weight again, right? And so years go by with me doing all this right. And then when I turned 50, and I went to my yearly checkup, and I mean, my, my fasting, glucose was horrible. And that's when I got put on the Metformin. And, to me, I thought, well, everyone that takes Metformin, I don't want to say gets better, but it improves their numbers. And I hadn't been tracking my numbers I had, I had a meter that did your ketones, because I had been doing keto. And the meter also came with that you could test your blood sugar. So I remember I was like, Oh, maybe I should try this. Let me let me test my blood sugar. And I tested it. And it was like 211. And I was like, I don't think that's good. And so that's when I started when I was about 50. And I started looking up and reading and trying to understand and educate myself about what was going on. Also, there's a long, long history of diabetes, type two diabetes in my family, my mom passed away from complications of it. My grandparents, both had it, all of my mom's brothers and sisters. And I still even with them having it back before I was about 50. I never educated myself about it. I never took the time to sit down, read about it, learn about it. And I beat myself up now for not doing that, because I know how important it was and that I should have been more aware of what was happening.

Scott Benner 33:44
Let me let me ask you a couple of questions about that. So your your mother dies from complications of type two diabetes? Yeah, you have type two diabetes, and you're in the middle of this never ending like flurry of jumping from diet to diet. And then I guess I'm assuming at some point, just restricting your diet so much that its value, you know, you're you're not taking in anything that can impact you at all, and then saying, Oh, I can't do this anymore. And then going back to it again. So you're flip flopping back, or at any point during that. Are you thinking I'm gonna die like my mom did?

Nanci 34:20
Um, yes, but only probably a little bit more recent. recent, recent, yeah. Because

Scott Benner 34:29
how long has this been in context? Like you've had type two for how long?

Nanci 34:33
So officially put on medication when I turned 50.

Scott Benner 34:38
Okay, but that's, um, that's eight years ago.

Nanci 34:41
Right. But, but, you know, between my gestational and turning 50 And all those years and looking at what what my blood sugar's were each time I would go for my checkup. They were always elevated. Not Not, not in like For hundreds but always like a fasting glucose of 161 70, sometimes 210, you know, which is clearly not healthy. But yeah, put on medication at 50.

Scott Benner 35:20
Put on medication at 50. And so it's interesting because 160, right, like, I think it's interesting to hear that you saw that blood sugar and you were like, Okay, well, I guess that's what this is. Or I, it's what happens when I eat XYZ instead of this. But no, like, not, not to feel like a poll to be like, Oh, I have to immediately stop this. Like, like, I don't I mean, like coming from a, like a type one brain. If you're my daughter's blood sugar was always 160. I think, Oh, my God, like, I have to do something right now today, like cancel our plans. I'm figuring this out. But it doesn't strike that way. And I've talked to other type twos as well, who will make these kind of like obvious statements from their life that are just like, to anybody listening. You're like, that's a red flag, but they don't see it that way. I never. I mean, I'm always trying to figure out why that is.

Nanci 36:21
Yeah, I I find it so bizarre now, because I know so much more. But it's, it's strange, because I remember distinctly after my mom passed away, because my mom was sicker than anyone knew she was because she didn't really. She didn't want people to know how sick she was. And so it was kind of a, I mean, we knew that she had diabetes and high cholesterol and high blood pressure. And we didn't know she had emphysema and we weren't aware of that. She did smoke. So we probably should have been aware. But my mom died pretty suddenly, she actually came to visit me where I live. And she would stay with me for like three months out of the year. And she was here visiting me and had some back pain. I thought it was maybe kidney infection or something. And I took her to the hospital. And three days later, she passed.

Scott Benner 37:39
Oh my gosh, yeah. I'm so sorry. Oh, what was what was the cause?

Nanci 37:47
So she went septic because she had a kidney infection. And her kid their kidneys were only functioning at I think they said at that time, maybe at like 20 or 30%. And it was, you know, from the diabetes? Yeah. And the rest of her, you know, Oregon's in her body had just worn out and the infection got into her blood. And she went septic and there was just nothing that she that they could do.

Scott Benner 38:19
Yeah, so she had had type two for how long?

Nanci 38:24
So she had had probably type two since she was about, I would say, probably 5055.

Scott Benner 38:31
Okay, and how old was she when she passed?

Nanci 38:35
I'm 77. Okay, so

Scott Benner 38:37
in 27 years of diagnosed type two, what was what was her management like? So she was on I'm sorry, I know. You said she kept it private, but as much as you know, right. Yeah.

Nanci 38:49
So I mean, she was on medication she took I can only assume and I know, it's crazy. That I don't know exactly. But I can only assume that it was something like Metformin that she was taking. And she just, I guess would just didn't want everyone to know. And because we I lived so far away from her. She lived 1500 miles away from me. And you know, when I would ask her, Oh, how was your doctor's appointment? She would say, Oh, wait, went well. I did good. So we I just didn't know how bad it was. And I knew she took pills because she had prescriptions with her when she would visit me and she would take them but from an outward or parents you know, she she didn't seem frail to the point that she looked sickly. She she just looked like my mom

Scott Benner 39:56
wanted to share this with you. My mom had a some sort of an episode last week where she was having trouble walking. And and I called her about two days. I mean, I was talking to her pretty consistently, but about two days into this. It is a situation where my mom finds it difficult for her to get like from her chair to her bathroom and back again. I call her up and we're talking everyday. So mom how you feel? And she was fine. I was like, Oh, great. You know, and they were chatting a little more, that it occurred to me to talk to her like she was 10. Mom, are you still having trouble walking? Yes. But you feel fine. Yes. I said, Mom, I think we can characterize not being able to walk to the bathroom is not feeling fine, don't you? Yes. And she goes, Yeah, probably. And it was like, Okay, no, fine. I'm fine. Everything's great. Fine, great. It's wonderful. Mommy changes. Nope. It's always like that. Never ever, ever says the truth.

Nanci 40:56
I know. And I've, you know, I do find that I do it too. You know, like, I think I don't want to I don't want to trouble my daughters with, you know, what I consider to be like, a small issue or something. So they same thing. They'll ask me and I'll just be like, nope, fine. I'm doing good.

Scott Benner 41:15
Yeah, yeah. It's just it's interesting. I don't think yeah, not common. But I mean, it's crazy, because, because look at what happened to your mother really like that idea of not understanding type two diabetes, either meaningfully with how to control it with medication, or how to control it as best you can with diet, then seeing if you need to supplement with medication, that whole thing, just not understanding it. And not understanding what it does. Like just takes her out like bang. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, and even, there's language you use around it. That makes it clear to me that people are just comfortable with this. Like you said, like, our organs just wear out. As if that's the thing that happens. You don't I mean, like, yeah, your organs just wear out eventually. But But when your sugar's high all the time, they were out a lot quicker. And yeah, and it's, um, it's just I don't know, it's kind of fascinating to me. So I'm sorry. Good. You have something to say?

Nanci 42:15
No. And again, I do like distinctly remember thinking to myself, after my mom passed away that I would, I wouldn't be like that, that I would never let myself get to that point of leaving my children so quickly. And not not having a control or a handle on my health. And, and yet, it still happened to me.

Scott Benner 42:44
Yeah. Tell me then through those eight years.

Nanci 42:48
Did you write so?

Scott Benner 42:49
Did you have that fight? Like, I'm gonna figure it out?

Nanci 42:53
Yeah, I mean, I kept trying, you know, I kept saying, I can do this, you know, I can get a handle on my health, I can do this. And like I said, I would try different diets. And, you know, my daughter got married, so I wanted to look good. And I went on, again, keto, and I walked and, you know, lost some weight. And right after the wedding, it was, Oh, I could have this or I can just have that. And it's fine. I'm going to I'm just going to have this.

Scott Benner 43:33
Yeah. And move away a little bit. Right, and then flows last much longer than you think they're going to.

Nanci 43:40
Exactly. And I just remember, I didn't you know, I just didn't feel good. You know, I had gotten to the point where, like, prior I think I'd never not really felt okay. I mean, I always felt like I felt okay, and probably, you know, right, I guess you know, COVID just like time is like so weird with COVID You can't remember if it was like was it before COVID Or during COVID But I think it was somewhere before COVID That I really just started to not feel well and you know, tired and sluggish and just not not feeling well at all and was so frustrated with myself that I couldn't lose weight and I so I came to the conclusion and it wasn't an easy one. But I said, I'm gonna have weight loss surgery. This is what I'm going to do to finally get a handle on all of this because I just can't I just can't get it handle on it and I need to and so I started like the whole procedure of Getting a gastric bypass, which is a long procedure. Like I think people think it you know, you decide to do it you go to the doctor and two months later you're having a gastric bypass but it doesn't work that way. It's a lot of doctor's visits different cardiologists, dietician, dieticians, regular doctor, your surgeon. And during all of that I had found out because I had to have an endoscopy done that I had gastroparesis. And I didn't know what that was. I didn't know that when I would eat, I would feel so uncomfortable. And I had really bad GERD I had really bad constipation. And so, found that out, and then had some more tests done and found out that I had fatty liver disease, and I was in stage two kidney disease. And really, yeah, yeah. And I mean, I it just blew my world. Like wide open. I thought, this is exactly what happened in my mom. And I'm, I'm doing it to myself. Like I'm, I'm my mom. And how

Scott Benner 46:23
long ago did you discover this?

Nanci 46:26
So, um, it was probably close to about two years ago, um, that I was going through. And what had happened was I so I was at that point, at this point, I was on Metformin, right Elsas, which is an oral semaglutide And one other diabetes medication that evades me at this moment. So I was taking three different medications for my diabetes. And I went to go have one of my endoscopies done and my blood sugar was 288 fasting on three different medications. And I was just beside myself, because I was like, I, I, what do I do, I just don't know what to do. And so I at that time, my regular doctor was just managing my diabetes. So I had made an appointment to see an endocrinologist, when to go see him and he right away said, You need to be on insulin, you're, you're the kind of type two diabetic that you're not responding to this, you need insulin. And so at that time, and this was obviously prior to me having a gastric bypass, but he put me on to Seba, Manjaro, and Glyburide. So again, I was on three medications, but three different medications from what I had previously been on

Scott Benner 48:01
going forward to write the Manjaro help you.

Nanci 48:05
Yes, it did. I, I, I I would say it was, you know, probably a couple of weeks. But my blood sugar levels were so much better, so much better. And I definitely felt better. There's no question that I wasn't feeling as sluggish. I wasn't feeling that just being exhausted failing all the time was

Scott Benner 48:36
was lowering your blood sugar? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You losing weight as well. Yeah,

Nanci 48:43
I definitely lost some weight. I won't say like I was on the very lowest dose. So I was, you know, started out at 2.5. And then after a month, moved up to the five and then stayed on the five until I had my gastric bypass. Okay. So I was on Manjaro for about four months.

Scott Benner 49:08
How much weight do you think you lost in four months?

Nanci 49:11
So I probably last I'm gonna say about 16 pounds.

Scott Benner 49:17
Okay. That's pretty Yeah, it's pretty impressive. Honestly. Yeah. Did you did it changed? I imagine how much you were able to eat?

Nanci 49:28
Oh, yeah, definitely.

Scott Benner 49:30
Did it change? You're like, I don't I don't know how to ask this question. I guess for clarity. I'm using weego V for weight loss. So ozempic is a drug just like Manjaro Magento, I think is a GLP one and maybe a GLP? Two, right. So there's more kind of

Nanci 49:50
GLP one and a G Ip gap.

Scott Benner 49:52
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, for for satiate satiation, right like, and weight loss. So As ozempic During the testing for ozempic, they were like, hey, people lose weight on this, whether they have diabetes or not. And they did a separate study, relaunched it as we go V. It's the same exact literally the same exact molecule. Right, and I, you know, my, my body mass made, it may be eligible for weak Ovie. And so now I've been taking it for I think I have two more injections left. So it's a ramp up point two, five 1.5 them. One, I think I have two more one. So I guess that makes me 10 weeks on this maybe. And I've lost 20 pounds. Wow. And it's fascinating. Because, I mean, I've maybe changed up how I eat a little bit, but not really. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, it's not like, it's not like I was eating like pizza and french fries with both hands. And now I'm having like a sound like, it wasn't like that I didn't over eat to begin with. I just was a person who's like bodies, like I just held on to weight, you know, and I didn't matter what I did, you know, I can die it like my face off and lose 10 pounds, maybe. But then the minute, the minute I had anything near even like a reasonable calorie count, I would just start to put the weight back on again. And yeah, that is not happening now. Like not only do I not have, I mean, any appetite to speak of, like you have to literally remind yourself to eat. Yeah, but I'm, I'm losing weight, like, in a very consistent pace. And to say that I've I mean, my blood sugar's were not high, but I feel terrific. And you know, much better than I did before. We even went, Yeah, you know, we were gone. Like to bring our son home from college than we'd like wrapped up seeing our son in there, too. So we were out of the house for like eight days, I ate in a restaurant for eight days in a row. And was on two long car trips, which is should be an indication to you that I was not, you know, drinking tea with my pinky out, like having a watercress salad for lunch. And I came home only a half a pound heavier than I left. And once and once I was home for 24 hours, my weight went right back to where I was.

Nanci 52:24
Yeah, I I definitely think that the the drugs, the GLP ones are game changers. There's no question. And I do sometimes think to myself, had I found it sooner? Would would I have still gone through with having

Scott Benner 52:48
the gastric bypass? Totally what I was thinking yeah, that's what I was wondering. Yeah, yeah.

Nanci 52:52
And, and I don't know, I really I don't know, because I have had really good success with my gastric bypass.

Scott Benner 53:01
Tell me about that. Yeah. How much have you lost? And how? In what stretch of time? So I

Nanci 53:07
just had my six month checkup from my surgery date. And I am down. Almost 59 pounds. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. So um, um, I mean, when I started, I was just about 210. And, again, I'm only, you know, five to five, three. And, you know, some people are like, well, that's not that big. But it is. It's, it's a lot of weight to carry. And I'm considering, not that everyone goes by the BMI standards, or what they say you should weigh if you are this tall, or this tall. But if you do look at those, you know, I should only weigh about 130 pounds. And so think about 80 pounds. I mean, that's, that's a lot. That's a lot of weight to carry around

Scott Benner 54:16
my God, it's insane. I, I, um, while we were away, I saw something funny I wanted to take a picture of, and instead of just taking a picture of it, I jumped in the picture. And I said to Kelly, I'm like, take a picture of me with this. And that is just something I would not have normally done. Yeah. And I have more weight to lose. But it's the first photo I've seen of myself, where I thought I would show this to someone. Like, like, in quite some time. And it's just it's fascinating. Like it's just fascinating how much better I feel like in my mind even just, you know, yeah, because I my whole life. I was like I don't understand why I shouldn't be, uh, you know, I've said it on here a million times, I'm happy to say it again. I am the fattest person who doesn't eat that you'll ever meet in your life. Like, I really just don't eat much food. Like it doesn't make any sense. And they're starting to say now some, some doctors, some weight loss doctors are starting to say that maybe and I should have somebody on to like, explain this. So just keep in mind that I'm this is like second hand me going through something here. But maybe there are people with GLP deficiencies, like not much different than the thyroid. Like so yeah. Like, you know, maybe your body's just not making enough or maybe it's making it and not taking it up for some reason. So giving some of it like, you know, through a supplement is changing it because I can't tell you. Like, I know, I didn't have a lot. Like I'm not obese. Okay, I guess actually, technically I am. But you know, like, by the standards that the doctors used and healthcare, right. But I'm not like, I don't I don't even know how to put it. Honestly, I don't I don't have context for it. But you wouldn't have looked at me and thought, Oh, my God, Scott's gonna die. Like like it. I didn't have that feeling. And the doctor told me when she gave it to me Look, you know, because my wife started at the same time. And she said, Look, you know, you'll probably see weight loss before she does. And I was like, Alright, whatever. And she's like, plus, you know, guys just seem to lose weight easier, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, but check this. And I'm four pounds lighter inside of five days. Now, nothing about my life changed that drastically. And then, you know, a couple more pounds the next week and a couple more, a couple more. And a couple more than one day. I was like, I weighed 20 pounds less than when I started. Yeah, it and I honestly think that 10 more weeks from now, I'm probably going to be down 40 pounds. And that's probably about where I I'll stop. But right, it was never going to happen otherwise, right? Never, ever, ever.

Nanci 57:00
And I totally agree with you that I think that there are people that have that deficiency, and these medications are changing their lives. Like literally, it's changing people's lives.

Scott Benner 57:14
I felt really sad last week when I saw that photo, and I thought, I wish I wish this would have existed sooner. Because I I have dodged being in photos with my kids.

Nanci 57:28
Yes, i Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I'm totally with you on that.

Scott Benner 57:34
And I mean, just for that alone made me sad, honestly. And I mean, I'm happy that medication exists. And I know it took forever to bring it to market. The first. The first inclination to this was in the early 80s, with a Canadian doctor who noticed that healer monsters don't get fat. And really, and they and they're not hungry after they eat. And that, wow, that led to him learning about the GLP and all this stuff. And then I you know, I happen to know because of what my wife did for a living like a decade ago, a decade ago, my wife came, my wife came home from work and said, there's going to be a drug one day that you take, it's going to help you lose weight. I've seen the early data, and it really works. Wow. But it's only really been on the market for a couple of years now.

Nanci 58:26
Yeah, because I, I remember when my doctor prescribed. So like I said, my primary care prescribe to me ride Celsus, which is the oral semaglutide it and it did nothing for me. Like I didn't lose any weight. It didn't do anything to my blood sugar. So I don't really understand how the injectable is different. But I guess maybe some people and more.

Scott Benner 58:57
I don't either, and I don't care. And I've heard people say like, well, there's no long term studies on I said, there are plenty long term studies on me being 40 pounds overweight and my 50s I know how that's gonna go with me. It's gonna go me having a heart attack is how it's gonna go. And you know, so I'm like, I don't want to I'm not going out like that. Like, I don't like I'm gonna fight a little bit here. And you can say, Oh, well, Scott, well, you could have eaten differently or exercise. I tried all that it didn't work. Like it just didn't do anything for me. I don't know why I don't even care why. And right. You know, it just it's not important. Like even let's say I didn't I deserve to die. Because I don't want to because I don't exercise like right we're, we're decision you know, and I've said this in another episode, but I'll repeat it here. This is kind of a grandiose thought. But if, if a generation of parents eat differently because they're on a GLP one for example, then a generation of children will grow up not eating poorly, because they won't be mirrored to them. Right? i We got lucky. Like, I'm not even gonna lie to you, we got really lucky because my wife and I, we grew up broke with any money. Like, we didn't have anybody leading us telling us how like what nutrition was, I'll tell people all the time, like in the 70s and 80s. Like no one understood what they eat. I know you think like, that's crazy, but it's not crazy. I made the joke earlier. There's a lemon on the front of like a lemonade mix that my mom would give us. And if you asked her if that was healthy, she'd be like lemons come from trees. You know what I mean? Like, like, come on. Don't be dumb, you know. And so there was no direction through any like that. I didn't have any directions. Then I had kids. And this is where I'm saying, I got lucky. My kids were so athletic, and so like involved and stuff like that. And we tried really hard to push them towards healthier food. But it was healthier to our understanding. Do you don't even like my idea of like health was like not serving my kid a frozen chicken nugget when he was little I cut up actual chicken and bread. Like I don't really know anything about nutrition or health or anything like that. And somehow my kids have are maintaining a better style of eating than Kelly and I had. But now suddenly, I mean, I got up this morning, I took two mushrooms and two eggs. And I scrambled them together in a pan and threw them in a wrap. And I couldn't even finish it. It was just like, oh, this is so much food. And so I finished it as best I could. And later today I'm going to have like a salad. And I think I'm gonna have some shrimp. Like I'm gonna like, I think I'm gonna pan fry, like saute some shrimp and throw it on some greens. And that's probably what I'm gonna end up eating today. Yeah, you know, and I'm gonna wake up tomorrow, a pound lighter than I was today. And I'm not hungry. And it's fascinating to my wife who I will have on the podcast at some point to talk about it because she has a much stronger kind of like, I don't know how to put it like a mental drawl to food. Yeah, right.

Nanci 1:02:05
It's that voice. Right. Yeah. And that's one of one of the things that I said, and I'm sad about Manjaro is that the one thing that I did notice is that it did take it took away the voice of me thinking, you know, before I went to bed at night, what will I have for breakfast tomorrow? And then while having breakfast thinking, what will I have for lunch today? And when I go grocery shopping, what will I buy to eat throughout the week? Yes, you might when I

Scott Benner 1:02:36
my wife talks about it exactly like that. Yeah, yeah. Open your eyes. Morning. What am I gonna eat for breakfast? And then wondering about lunch while you're making breakfast? Exactly. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, call that the food voice.

Nanci 1:02:50
Yeah. And I definitely felt that it Manjaro took that away from me. And now I eat pretty similar to what you just said that you eat. And it is a little bit more, because I have to, you know, I, I have a really small stomach now. So I have no choice. And I have to eat like that. But I do feel I feel I feel better about myself that I'm making those choices. And I'm not beating myself up about the choices that I make, like, so

Scott Benner 1:03:30
I can't agree anymore. Like that's, you know, to say to someone, like, it's easy to say to someone, we'll just have more self control. Right? Like, as a matter of fact, there's a whole industry out there there's, there's 10,000 podcasts making a living telling people to like you know, just be strong, you know, exactly. Which is very easy for a person who doesn't have what you just described, like, like, like an absolute pinging in your head of like, what am I going to eat next? What am I going to eat next? Like that's not, that's not a lack of willpower. That's a it's a wiring issue. You're wired exactly differently. And they don't have great willpower. They're just not wired that way. So it's easy for them, right? Just like everything else, not hard to understand. But yet it gets broken down, like haves and have nots, like the ones who are willing to put in the work and the ones who aren't willing to put in the work. And that's Yeah, I think a great many situations, that's not the case. And even if it was, I'll just say it again, that's not a good reason why your organs should deteriorate and you die prematurely. Like that's exactly not okay. Right. And so if something helps, like I just, I'm looking back at you and all I could think is somebody should have given this poor woman insulin eight years ago. Right, right. And yeah, real issues now.

Nanci 1:04:47
Yeah. I think that way too. And again, I do you know, I think to myself, How did you not learn about it or I tried to figure it out, but I, you know, I trusted my doctors and, and how I guess,

Scott Benner 1:05:07
I mean, honestly, I'm How would you know, you can't look anything you can think of in the world, even with access to the Internet right now. Because there is that argument like we have, I forget what it's like we have access to more information now than the President of the United States had in the 80s. Which is amazing, right? Except, except everything you wonder about, gets monetized by somebody. And then the other side of it gets monetized by somebody else. So there are two competing arguments like, like, you know, you you mentioned, you were on keto earlier, it's a perfectly reasonable way to eat if you want to eat that way. It's not a problem until someone starts making a living coaching you about your keto, or selling keto food, because now they are going to fight till the end of the earth to defend keto. And on the other side, somebody's out there with their cupcake company being like, these motherfuckers in their queue, I gotta sell these cupcakes. And like, you know, like, and they're, and it's back and forth, and back and forth. And now people have become so adept at marketing through how do I put this through everyday interactions, they've become so adept at it, that you can get involved in what you think is a conversation with somebody that's really just a marketing ploy. And yeah, you'll never know what's happening. And I only am aware of this because I run a Facebook group that is so big. And I've watched people do it with so many different things. They'll do it with T shirt sales, they'll do it with we just had a bit we actually literally just had a mob of six accounts that were just in there starting what looked like organic conversations about comfortable footwear to sell a shoe. And it was it was well done. So somehow, someone would show up and go, Oh, hey, ladies, talk to me about comfortable footwear, because I have to go on a blah, blah, blah, and I don't know, and then they'd let real people come in and answer. And then eventually, one of their other accounts would come in and go, Oh, my God, my doctor told me about these and they're great. And they put up a link and they were selling those shoes that they had three or four other accounts that come in to prop up the conversation and keep it going. And then when it ran out of steam, they delete it so that the moderators would notice it, and then they'd come around a couple days later and do it all over again. And sneaky and and it's very common. Wow, that's my point. Like I do. Yeah, I do stuff like I have ads. But you know, their ads, like, like, it's it's not like in the middle of the conversation. I just start like going like Yeah, yeah, right, right now that's crazy. Right, right. Yeah, no, yeah, I happen to me once while I was drinking my athletic greens. Like, it's not, it's not it's not like that. I say, Look, this episode is sponsored by ag one, if you want to support the podcast, and drinky G one. Great. And if you don't, Natalie even care, honestly. It helps me if you're already going to buy it, buy it with my link that helps the podcast. But it isn't me like slipping it into a conversation trying to like, trick you into it. But that's very, very, very common. Yeah. And so my long winded point is, it's difficult to get good information. When that's not people's goal all the time. Sometimes their goal is just to get you to go by a thing or do a thing or click on a link or hire a health teacher. I don't know how you're supposed to figure that out is my point.

Nanci 1:08:36
And I and I am very easily influenced. So I can tell you that I bought a lot of stuff. I bought a lot of keto products. A lot of you know, workout equipment, different clothing, shoes, you name it. I bought it all you

Scott Benner 1:08:56
desperate to save your life. Yeah, that's terrible. Like think of it 1000s of dollars or 10s of 1000s of dollars.

Nanci 1:09:05
I mean, I probably you know, spent a good I'd say I'd spent a good $5,000 on keto products alone. That's fine.

Scott Benner 1:09:16
That's a lot of me, Nancy to feed a poodle for a year and a half. I'm sorry, if you didn't see that coming. I was setting you up for that because I was amazed. That and so and you got a surgery. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I my assumption was you found them in Jarno, late enough that you were so far down the road for the surgery. It seemed too late to turn back.

Nanci 1:09:47
Yeah. I mean, that's exactly what happened. And I was at the point where like I was on Manjaro for about four months and my surgery date was coming up and I did struggle with it. I kind of went back and forth in my head and the the fact that I was so scared of regaining the weight after either being on Manjaro for a year, or having a weight loss surgery, I knew that the weight loss surgery was pretty permanent. And I did try to, you know, read to see what kind of studies and data there was with Manjaro weaning off of it or, you know, maintaining and there's not a lot of information out there yet about it hasn't been,

Scott Benner 1:10:38
I, I've come to the conclusion that if I have to be on a maintenance dose of this for the rest of my life, I don't even think I care. Like, like, Yeah, and if I grow a tail out of my forehead, I'll be thin as a pin with a tail on my forehead.

Nanci 1:10:56
You will look fabulous.

Scott Benner 1:10:58
I'll just accessorize it. I'll start hanging blink from it. I'll be like, that's my, that's my ozempic tail. Whatever. No, I mean, honestly, I don't. It's

Nanci 1:11:08
and then you can sell things on your podcast, like Facebook group,

Scott Benner 1:11:13
like, Hey, everybody, like us, we go V and yeah, you're gonna grow with tail out of your forehead. But here are these beautiful socks to keep them warm during the winter. And I'll just thread it into a conversation. So you'll never even know I'm selling them to you. Yeah, I mean, there are no advertisers. Right now, for any GLP ones on the podcast, I have to tell you, somebody came along here wanting to, I'd be happy to take an ad for that. But I would also tell you, it's an advertisement. But no, seriously, as far as I know, there are no side effects, the GLP is that make things grow out of your forehead. And certainly enough of the world has taken this up that we're going to find out, I think the next thing that you're going to see is doctors who do weight loss surgeries, you're going to start seeing them, like kind of chirp about these injections and tell you there's something wrong with them, because it's going to cut into their bottom line pretty heartily. Because really like ozempic, or we go Veerman jhana, what they're doing is they making you feel full faster, which is what the surgery does. But they also have the benefit of they're somehow impacting your hippocampus, they're literally telling your brain you're not hungry. And they're is some newer studies that I don't think are complete yet that are saying, also signal to your body that during weight loss to target your fat.

Nanci 1:12:36
Yeah, I did just read that the other day, which is amazing, because that's one of the things that they really watch after you have weight loss surgery is that you lose muscle mass. So that'd be amazing if the GLP ones stopped that

Scott Benner 1:12:53
just literally just anecdotally, but my weight is coming from places that I really struggled to get rid of it from. And so like, my example usually is with I would have just started dieting like aggressively on my own. Mike, my face would have slimmed down first. And then and then I would have like been like, Oh, my midsection is not like changing. And with this thing that was my midsection first. As a matter of fact, my face didn't start slimming down for like two months after that. And it was all coming out of my chest, my sides, my back and my stomach, which were the places like I can't even tell you that my stomach and my chest are on the same plane of existence now. Which is very new for me. That's amazing. Yeah. So anyway, wow. Well, well, okay, I'm sorry. I had to bring this back around again. I started me having these type two conversations. Because I was finding listeners who were basically like, look, I'm type two, but I use insulin. So I started listening to the podcast, and it was really helping me. And so how are you managing right now?

Nanci 1:14:05
So right now, I'm only on one medication called tra Genta. Okay, it's an it's an oral medication. And the reason being is because obviously right after I had my gastric bypass, I couldn't eat I had to it was all liquid. And so I even had a couple of low blood sugar episodes after my surgery. And so I was taken off of everything. And once I started to eat again, and I was consuming some carbs, some sugars. My blood sugar levels did start to go up a little bit. So when I had my three month exam after my gastric bypass, and I saw my Endo, he put me On the agenda and said, Well, let's see how you do with this and then we'll when you come back in six months, we'll look at your blood sugar's I wear libre, too. So I'm my monitor my sugar. And I've had, I have had some instances where if I eat something more Harvey, I've my blood sugar's have gone up some a couple of times over 200. So I'm not really sure if I'll get put back on insulin. But we'll have to wait and see what are your What are your

Scott Benner 1:15:44
fasting blood sugars like?

Nanci 1:15:47
So the last time I had my fasting, it was 121, which is, for me, I feel like really good. Now what I want do I want it to be 90 Of course, like but, and my a one C at my last check was 6.3. Which again, for me, it's really good considering when I went on insulin. It was a point nine Wow. So it's really, really come down quite a bit.

Scott Benner 1:16:26
What do you what do you give credit to here? Weight loss, a change in your diet? And the trajectory? Those three things you think are what's keeping you where you're at?

Nanci 1:16:37
Yeah, I mean, I definitely think the weight loss and the fact that, you know, I'm forced to eat protein, because of the gastric bypass, so you learn that you have to eat protein before anything else. And because I have such a small stomach, I can only eat, you know, like, three to six ounces. And eating some, you know, eating that in chicken, you get full and so I'm not eating. Maybe if we had mashed potatoes or rice that night, I'm not really eating that because I'm eating the chicken and I'm getting full. And so I'm not eating the stuff that would cause my blood sugar to go high. But I have had a couple of instances where I've, you know, said I'm gonna try buy to that sandwich or a bite of that pizza. And I've my blood sugar's have gone up. And I'm not sure if that's just my, you know, like, my body being like, Whoa.

Scott Benner 1:17:49
Alright, are you do you still have your food voice?

Nanci 1:17:53
Um, no, I don't

Scott Benner 1:17:56
just your tastes change a little.

Nanci 1:17:59
I have a food voice in that I do have to still prepare, you know, like, I can't just be willy nilly and throw caution to the wind and just hope that there's food that I can eat. I have to be prepared. So I do have to think about it in that sense. And I definitely feel like there have been times that I have thought, God, I cut my right arm off for a slice of chocolate cake. Like a job, you know, and I don't have the chocolate cake, but I do have that feeling like I really would just want it so bad.

Scott Benner 1:18:43
But work full. Okay, what could you have like a fork full of chocolate cake?

Nanci 1:18:48
Yeah, I probably could. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:18:51
but you're but you don't think you would? If you started you think you'd? So ah, so it's funny. I can't believe I'm doing like I honestly never saw myself as a person who'd be advocating for like medication to change how you eat. I've learned a lot like in these last 10 weeks already. And I there's part of me that feels a little sad because you got your stomach made smaller. Yeah, right. Because if you could have gotten the food voice to go away with with the medication and you would have felt fuller sooner that might have helped you regulate the amount and the types of reading because I'll tell you I made a good decision after good decision this week in those restaurants. I was like I am not eating anything that's fried. I am not eating anything that you know but like I stayed away from a number of different things on purpose and I had a perfectly lovely time. Like at lunch I you know I had like I sat down and I was like, Can I get a a cup of soup and and I think it was like chicken rice soup and kind of a cup of that soup and a half of a turkey sandwich. And and she goes we only serve that At full turkey sandwiches, I was like, Well, if you bring me a full turkey sandwich, you'll be throwing a lot of it away. I'm like, you can do whatever you want. But I'm going to eat half of that cup of soup. And by the way, here's what I want on the bread. Nothing, just put the turkey in there. And I said, like one slice of cheese. She goes, it's gonna come with two slices of cheese, I was coming to one of them away. And I'm like, bring me a little like, I think I put like yellow mustard on the bread a little bit. And they brought up potato chips. And I was like, I don't want these. And she's like, well, they come with the sandwich. I was like, alright, so I had like four potato chips, I had like three quarters and a half of a turkey sandwich and half of a cup of soup. And I was like, Oh, good, like, just like two in the afternoon. And I thought, Well, that's good. I don't need to eat any more today. But I could still eat it. The same thing?

Nanci 1:20:51
Like no, and I totally understand what you're saying. And I do get sad myself sometimes. And think that if I had given it a little bit more time on the Manjaro, or if I hadn't been going through the process to get the gastric bypass, and again, it's a long process. So I mean, you really have to be committed, and, you know, to be that committed, and then, you know, at at the point where you're gonna get it to say, No, I think I'm, I'm just gonna try this over here instead. You know, it just made me a little bit like, scared and nervous, because I had felt like, I'd been on such a roller coaster for such a long time. And I just knew that, for me having the gastric bypass would give me some permanency. And in my life, like, Yeah, I know that sounds drastic. And to a lot of people it is it is like people are so put off by the gastric bypass. And I always tell people, you have to make your own decision. Like you have to do what's right for you. But I will say that I have people in my life that I have been pushing to go and get one of the GE LPs. I mean, I have been like, Look, you have been struggling, and you're, you know, younger than me, and you need some help. And these these medications help. You need to go talk to your doctor about being on this. But there's a lot of people Scott that, you know, they they really have like a negative attitude when it comes to getting anything to help with losing weight. Like they just like you said before, yeah, they they just think What's matter with you? Why can't you just do what on your own, like, get a grip.

Scott Benner 1:22:49
We were all parented poorly. But I first of all, I've become a drug pusher, I play it to other people, my family are already gotten. Yeah. And they type they had type two diabetes, like, go get this, like, you know what I mean? Right, please. And, but But your point about not wanting to do it, like the part that fascinates me, like burns right through my brain when you say that, it's like, they'll say, Oh, well, I don't, I shouldn't have to take an injection to lose weight, but they'll have gastroparesis from their type two, or kidney failure from there, type two and go well, like well as the cost of doing business. You know, it's not like like, if, if you're a person who, for whatever reason, is not eating in a way that leads to health. And you're telling me that injecting something once a week, and I can't tell you how easy it is, like I do it on the podcast, it's click, wait, click out done. I don't think about it again, I don't even like feel the needle, I don't even know what's happening. And you're telling me if you could do that, and avoid a kidney failure one day, that would be a bridge too far. And but, but the kidney failure is not like it's a it's a fascinating way to think about something incorrectly. Like I'm not saying I'm not saying it's optimal to have to take a drug to make this happen. But you know what, it's not optimal for a person with I don't know, bipolar disorder to have to take a drug not to have those issues, but that's the situation they find themselves in. So I mean, is there a phrase play the ball where it lies? Like you don't mean like yeah, you don't want to decide we all don't get to be you know, six feet tall and a muscular podcast are making $9 billion a year telling everybody to try harder like like that guy's thing. i My thing is I don't eat much food and I'm fat. Like Like yeah, not okay. You don't II mean so. Anyway, and then around type two diabetes just as well. Like, what you what you hear is, it's why I'm making that that type two series and why I'm talking to more people with type two Overwhelmingly, people think of insulin as failure. Oh, you know, if everything else fails, I'll try insulin maybe, well, 10 years from now. When everything else fails, including your kidneys, then yeah, like you're gonna think, Oh, I wish I would have used insulin 10 years ago because I guarantee Nancy, I put you in a fucking time machine. Yeah, you're out there looking for it. Yeah,

Nanci 1:25:25
you don't you don't know how many people looked at me sideways when I said, Yeah, you know, I finally went to the endo and he put me on insulin and they were like, you know, they just were like, what?

Scott Benner 1:25:40
Well, let me say this for you fuck them. Okay, right. Yeah. I care if you stay alive. They care if you airway. Yeah. If you don't do it the right way. Then what what's the point? The point is being alive, you moron. It's crazy. Your walk around Nancy and thing? A lot of people can't think. Yes.

Nanci 1:26:01
Daily. What is happening daily.

Scott Benner 1:26:06
It's so lost in the wrong part of a conversation.

Nanci 1:26:10
I don't know. I let me let me lay it

Scott Benner 1:26:14
out for people listening. Staying alive. That's first. That's the goal every day, the goal? Free Day. It's your first goal. Gotta stay alive next day. Stay alive and be healthy. Okay, yeah. And be nice to people do things, the blah, blah, blah, work. I want you to work hard. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, I don't think that it's a valuable thing. Or if I ever said this, I assumed this was obvious. But I don't think it's an it's a valuable thing. To you know, eat every horrible thing in the world. And think, well, I'll just inject this and it'll it'll counteract it. By the way, that's not how this stuff works. It's, it's not like it does not like it makes it go away. Like I could eat too much food today, my stomach would hurt. And I would probably gain weight. And so the drugs not going to stop that from happening. I could physically pushed through it just like you could physically. There are plenty of ways to cheat around the surgery you had?

Nanci 1:27:14
Well, not really. I mean, you get pretty sick. That's, I mean, that's the one deterrent that is is a little bit different is

Scott Benner 1:27:23
you haven't heard you get all blending down like well, crap. Yeah, I'm drinking them and stuff like that.

Nanci 1:27:28
Yeah. But um, I will say in my own personal case, and I pretty much know, I you know, like, I've taken a bite of something that it just didn't sit right. And yeah, and you know, you your body gives you a reaction, whether it be just like you get really, really hot. And you almost feel like a little bit like dizzy. You know, some people have like, they'll throw up. Luckily for me, I haven't had any of that throwing up thing, thank goodness. But just a really like, Dizzy, hot feeling of not feeling good at all. And I And again, you know, a lot of people will listen to me say that and be like, and you have to live your life like that. You're gonna be like that for the rest of your life. But, you know, don't feel bad for me. I made the decision. And I I'm okay with it. You know, I'm fine with it.

Scott Benner 1:28:35
Also, the alternative was what happened your mom?

Nanci 1:28:39
Exactly, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and

Scott Benner 1:28:42
it's everybody wants things exactly the way they want them. Right. So it's like, well, I You should be able to eat whatever you want. And be healthy. I'm like, Okay, well, in the that's not working.

Nanci 1:28:52
Right and fantasyland. Right. Right?

Scott Benner 1:28:55
So I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go for like, anything I can do to stay on. Listen, you would never, I think good for you that you got the surgery. Like, if that's what you want to do, man. Good for you.

Nanci 1:29:07
You know? Yeah, I mean, that's what I say to you know, other people. And I also say to, you know, all the naysayers, it's like, you know, you have to make a decision that's right for you, ultimately. And I'm, I'm happy for all of the people that are having success with the GLP ones. And again, I've like you, I felt like, you know, I'm pushing drugs on people, but I have also been like, look, y'all need to get this good stuff. But, and I answer questions for anybody that has them about the gastric bypass. You know, it's not for everybody, every everything is not for everybody. But you know, we're all just doing the best that we can and try and you know, to be here and live our lives and I have two beautiful granddaughters that you know, absolutely adore and I just want to be around for them. Men want to watch every moment of their life and be involved in it and be healthy. And so, you know, for me, it was the best thing to do.

Scott Benner 1:30:09
Yeah, plus, someone's got to cover that nut on that poodle. When the people working, I mean, right, exactly. To deal with you guys die. I don't know, trust me, it's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna eat their shit out the backyard. That's what it's gonna do. And it'll be fine, by the way, probably right? You let that pool out of that house right now? It would be Yeah, it'd be like, it'll be alright.

Nanci 1:30:39
Yeah, life goes on. All right.

Scott Benner 1:30:42
I really appreciate you doing this very much. It's a great conversation. And, you know, I just I'm trying very hard to I don't want to say stupid things that people say all the time, like D stigmatize, and like, blah, blah, blah. I just want people with type two diabetes, to feel comfortable asking questions, finding answers for themselves, and doing something that's going to make a meaningful impact on their life, not something that maybe will help them eight years from now after they try weightwatchers keto 19 Other things and then go, oh, by the way, none of that work, and now I'm starting to have bad bad health impacts, and I still am no closer to an answer. So, you know, I don't know it just,

Nanci 1:31:27
and I totally, totally appreciate the fact that, you know, obviously, you started this podcast for type one, and, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you have taken the time to talk to, and listen to type two diabetics and do exactly what you just said is, you know, erase some of the stigma around it. And, and make people you know, feel like they're just not failures, I've really appreciate because I felt like such a failure a lot. And then I listened to a lot of your podcasts. And even though, you know, is mostly for type ones, I got so much helpful information, and also just learned so much and thought, wow, there's just this world is so big, and there's so many people out there. But there's so many people like me. So

Scott Benner 1:32:25
absolutely. Well, I appreciate you saying that. I am evolved enough now not even make a stupid joke. Say something about me. My first inclination, that little child inside of me wants to say something very dumb. The first thing I thought to say was, well, yeah, I'm terrific. You don't have to say. I just appreciate that it's reaching people. And that it's yes. And I'll say this, like, Look, you should be eating better foods, simple foods, like you know, don't don't eat a ton of processed food and flour and sugar and all that stuff. And you should be getting some exercise, right, like, Get out Get moving like all that. Yep. But if that's not working, adding something is not. It's not some sort of a sin. Yes, exactly. And the people around you who like Nancy, like ran into who are gonna give you crap about it. I will tell you the same thing. The same thing I send to a mother. Recently on the show mother called, called in. Yeah, like it's a ham radio. Sorry. Where was it there just a mother comes on the show to talk about her kid being like bullied at school, right? And she kind of went with the like, you know, hippie, like, Yo, well, you have to understand Baba Mon, I was like, fuck those kids. I was. I was like, I said, you know, try this. And by the way, I heard back from her. And rainbows and hippies worked for her kid, which is terrific. But my perspective. Part of my perspective was, is we don't care about people who don't care about us. Yeah, like right so if you need to do something, Nancy to better your life. And there are people around you who would give you crap about it. I don't care what they think. I gotta be like, they're gonna be alive. Like like, Yeah, I'll be dead and what they'll be happy with how I accomplished it. Like what do you write? Do you care what other people think? I just don't think I think it's insane. Like if anybody came after me and said like, you can't take we've taken we go Vyas cheating, I'd be like I don't hear you. What, here's what I hear. My chest and my stomach appear to be on the same line. I feel better. I move better. Right knee doesn't hurt as much. And I couldn't possibly care. What any, there's no, there's no one that could come to me now. And shame me about what I'm doing. That's awesome. Yeah. And by the way, if I do grow a tail out of the side of my forehead, 10 years from now, you know what, I'll say I'll go Huh? Huh, maybe that was a misstep. But but but But if I'm healthy and alive, I'd be like, You know what, I'm alright, because I don't know what's gonna happen. But I know that men, especially men who are shaped like me and carry their weight, where I carry my weight, tend to die of heart attacks. And I also exactly happened to know because my wife forced me into looking into my birth my mother years ago, that my birth mother became despondent after giving me up for adoption, which led to a life of obesity. And it led to her on a table trying to get your surgery. And she and she coded and died during the surge in are 14, that's terrible. And I can tell I feel badly telling it dispassionately because I don't know her as my mother obviously. But, but that So okay, so she had a heart attack from like, bah, bah, bah. So what am I doing? Like, I don't want that to happen. Like you said earlier. I've got kids and I might have grandchildren one day or right, you know, like, maybe not, but also I want to see what like the iPhone 25 looks like and what you want to see if they can put like a nuclear reactor and an electric car. I'm dying to see if that happens. You know, like, I'm trying to stay here. The alternative. Yes, it's over. Like that's it. And for those of you who think like there's an afterlife, that's great. I also don't want to be chubby in the afterlife. Okay, so I'm trying to I'm trying to get all right, well,

Nanci 1:36:27
you want to be a spelt ghost?

Scott Benner 1:36:30
Well, yeah. Okay. Yes, that's what I want. Dammit. I want to look nice when I'm dead and floating around the house. We're like Casper are more like, like embodiment? I don't

Nanci 1:36:45
know from the movie Ghost. You want to be more like Patrick Swayze?

Scott Benner 1:36:49
I don't think I'm getting there. But he's a handsome man. Although his brother not nearly as handsome. Really? You don't know his brother? I do not. I feel bad. I believe he's still alive. So let's not go too far down. But before we leave Patrick Swayze he's brother.

Nanci 1:37:11
Apparently he did not get the good looks. His name's Dodd family. Okay, John.

Scott Benner 1:37:16
Okay. John. Dan, God bless you. You're never gonna hear this. But Don looks like Patrick. But made out of spare parts. I don't know how to say that.

Nanci 1:37:33
Well, now I have to immediately go on when you

Scott Benner 1:37:37
really see a super handsome person. And I mean, for male or female, a very handsome person like their eyes, their forehead, their nose, their lips. They all match. Right? Right. And then Don Swayze looks like at the end of the day, God had about five face parts. They were all attractive but didn't go together. And he was like, listen, we gotta get out of here. Just stick these on this one and let's go. Right, like so he looks like Patrick, but it's not as smooth. She's so funny. By no means xenon. Attractive, man. But if you only knew Don Swayze, you'd think as a handsome guy, but you're standing next to Patrick Swayze. And all of a sudden, you're like, What the hell happened to that guy? Right. Like, which is unfair, because Patrick Swayze looks like, I mean, he's dead. But he was like,

Nanci 1:38:22
yeah, he's good looking man.

Scott Benner 1:38:24
Are you handsome man is what? I'm sorry. That's all. I just don't think I'm gonna get that handsome. I think I'm gonna look like I'm gonna look like Don Swayze. When I get fit. Okay. Yeah. Which, God bless I go for that. Yeah. All right, man. See, I know for one for sure you and I had a conversation about weight that most people don't have in 2023. And I loved it. So

Nanci 1:38:44
me too. Good. I'm glad it was amazing.

Scott Benner 1:38:46
Hold on one second.

I hope you're enjoying the Type Two diabetes stories. I know I enjoyed talking to Nancy. Thank you very much to contour for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast contour next.com forward slash juice box. Check out that contour next meter and those Second Chance test strips and of course, touched by type one.org. Come out and see me on September 16. It's completely free and we're gonna have a great day, I promise. Hey, if you're just finding the podcast now you have pre diabetes or type two diabetes, check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. It's a private group. It's more than its name suggests. We have a ton of type twos there. Come find out more.

If you have type two or pre diabetes, that type two diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox Podcast is exactly what you're looking for. Do you have a friend or a family member who is struggling to understand their type two and how to manage it? This series is for them seven episodes to get you on track. up to speed. Episode 860 series intro 864 guilt and shame episode 869 medical team 874 fuelling plan, Episode 880 diabetes technology episode 85 GLP ones metformin and insulin and an episode 889 We talk about movement. This episode is with me and Jenny Smith. Of course you know Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist. She is a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for over 30 years. Too many people don't understand their type two diabetes, and this series aims to fix that, share it with a friend or get started today. When you support the Juicebox Podcast by clicking on the advertisers links, you are helping to keep the show free and plentiful. I am certainly not asking you to buy something that you don't want. But if you're going to buy something, or use a device from one of the advertisers, getting your purchases set up through my links is incredibly helpful. So if you have the desire or the need, please consider using Juicebox Podcast links to make your purchases

#975 After Dark: Wrong Pew

Amy has type 1 diabetes and some mental health challenges.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 975 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'm going to be speaking with Amy in an after dark episode. Amy's been type one for over 25 years. She's in her mid 30s. And she was diagnosed right before her 10th birthday. Amy story is so unique that I don't know how to explain it to you in just a couple of seconds. I do have a note here that I received from me the other day she asked me if I would read it into the podcast. Normally I do that at the end, but I think I'm going to read this one right after these initial ads, and then we'll let her story unfold. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Today's episode is going to deal with anxiety, depression, cutting, growing up in a unique situation that I might consider to be cultish. It's hard to hard to exactly. Anyway, you'll see I don't know I'll let you decide. If you're looking for community around diabetes, check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes and to keep up with the show proper Juicebox Podcast the public page on Facebook. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by two companies that have been in this house for a very very long time. First Omni pod makers of the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash you can get started today or even take a test drive at my link Omni pod.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by Dexcom Ardens warned a number of different Dexcom 's over the years right now she's wearing the g7 you could too dexcom.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com to Dexcom Omnipod and all the sponsors. Okay now I recorded with Amy months ago, but this note is from yesterday, and I told Amy I would read it to you in its entirety. It says Hey Scott, I wanted to write this follow up note to encourage those that are battling with their mental health, substance abuse and making difficult life decisions. After we recorded our podcast, I continued to abuse alcohol. Rather than addressing my pain. I was using alcohol to numb my feelings and mask the real problem. In May I stopped taking antidepressants and realize that this tool was another numbing agent I was ready to stop using. There is no shame in needing and taking medication that helps you through a difficult time. But I saw that that time for me was over. One night in June, I was struggling. I got drunk and self harmed by burning. When I woke up hungover the next morning with fresh scars on my leg. I finally acknowledged that I had to stop. Enough was enough. I couldn't let my past trauma continue to define my life. I stopped drinking on June 28 and I have not had alcohol since then. I recognize that I've been struggling in my relationship and realized I was buzzed for a good portion of it. I was drinking every single night. When I finally came out of the antidepressants, and then the alcohol, it really cleared my mind. My ex boyfriend is a good man. And I am so thankful that I met him when I did because he walked with me through a dark time in my life. One of the hardest decisions that I've made was saying goodbye to him. I started weekly therapy sessions, which I am such an advocate for I exercise daily, and I just ran the distance of a half of a marathon. I changed my diet, and I've continued not drinking. I found that when your mind is at peace, the body falls into line. For so long. I felt like I was drowning. Finally I have a clear mind. And I am learning to regulate my emotions rather than letting the pain and trauma define and control me. Sometimes the place you're used to being is not the place you belong. As I've begun to love myself, I have seen that my emotional trauma has been assigned that I was living against my own truth. It takes courage to change and the first step of change is to become aware of your own bullshit. This has been really difficult, but so worth it. To anyone who is struggling with their mental health. It does get better. It is not an easy battle, but it is so worth it to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And some days that is all you can do. Don't settle for just good enough. Make it a priority to put yourself first both mentally and physically. I have become not only an advocate in my diabetes care, but an advocate for my mental health and wellness. I've learned to focus my energy not on fighting the old but building a new me finally I'm seeing AMI shine through the AMI I thought that I lost for good. She is back and better than ever. Thank you for everything you do, Scott The podcast has helped me more than you will ever know. And I am very grateful for you putting the time and energy into it. You're such a gift. Thank you. And I know we will talk again soon. Best Amy. All right, I'm gonna start the episode and you can all find out how Amy got to where she is now.

Amy 5:16
Hi, Scott. I'm Amy. And I am I've been a type one diabetic for the past 26 years. Actually, this last Sunday was my anniversary. So it'll be 26 years.

Scott Benner 5:31
26 years. How old are you?

Amy 5:33
I am 35. I'll be 36 In a few months.

Scott Benner 5:37
So you were what? Like, nine or 10 when you got diagnosed?

Amy 5:41
Yeah, I was right before it was right before my 10th birthday.

Scott Benner 5:47
26 years ago. Yeah. Yep.

Amy 5:49
spent a long time. i The 9096 86.

Scott Benner 5:54
Okay, yeah. When you jump over the zero, sometimes my brain doesn't go far enough.

Amy 6:00
Okay. I was like, I'll try to figure all the math stuff out before the podcast and SCOTTON is enough.

Speaker 1 6:07
I don't know. I think I'm getting better at it. Because of this. I think you're due for sure. 2635. Now you were telling you're diagnosed 26 years. Okay. I'm going to start with you different a little differently. I'm going to kind of do you backwards. So why did you want to come on the podcast?

Amy 6:25
I think I had sent you an email. And I just was thanking you because I had been kind of going going through it. And so I just was I listened I listened to you more than I listened to the person in my head. So you're always running in our house. Like I have it. I wake up in the morning, I turn the podcasts on I do a lot of walking. I turned the podcasts on I come home, I'm cooking dinner. So it's just something that's always running in my house.

Scott Benner 6:54
What other voices in your head?

Amy 6:57
Oh, myself, you know, the little voice that's like, whatever it tells you whether it's good or bad.

Scott Benner 7:04
So we've we spoke about this Arden and bought art and brought this up last year, and we talked about it forever. About weathers how you hear your internal monologue. Right? And some people hear a voice and some people don't. Did you know that? Yeah.

Amy 7:24
I didn't realize that.

Scott Benner 7:26
Yeah, I don't hear a voice. I think and I can't even describe to you how I think. Isn't it strange? Like, hold on? I'm gonna practice for a second. You do the same thing. We're gonna both think about a red tractor plowing a field. Okay, go ahead. Do that. Think about it. How does that happen to you? Do you hear a voice say there's a red tractor plowing a field?

Amy 7:48
I see a video. Yeah, I see. I see images and then I can hear the farmer.

Scott Benner 7:56
So then I can't hear voices or sound. I see. I see the tractor. I picture a tractor from my childhood. And it's moving across the field because that's what I told him to do. And if there's no color in mind, and it's kind of for people who use like, a Photoshop or something the opacity is low, like the video I see is like at 50%. Like I can almost see through the images. And that's okay. But I don't hear once people like I don't hear the tractor. I don't hear rustling. I don't hear anything like that. And when people talk, I don't hear any talking.

Amy 8:31
Okay, I see a super clear video. It's a Massey Ferguson. It's, it's bright red. I can see a video, like the images in my mind. And you know, and then you think of, I guess it's like, thinking of something else you've seen or heard or watched. So you can hear the farmer, like yelling or doing whatever he's doing.

Scott Benner 8:54
I can hear people in my dreams,

Amy 8:57
though, I definitely do that. Yeah, I actually had a dream about you by like last week.

Scott Benner 9:01
Let's not talk about that yet. All right. If things go really well, I'll bring it up later. Yeah, I don't know. So okay, so, but you don't think you have like a, like a problem? You shouldn't be talking to somebody or something like that. Like skips? telling you to like, put a cat in a bag or anything like that and nothing. We're not at this time. Not currently. Alright. So So you listen to the podcast a lot. And it? I mean, you've had diabetes for a long time. When did you start listening?

Amy 9:40
Okay, so this is crazy because I have been doing I've been working with Jenny at Integrated diabetes for i I'd say about six years, maybe longer. Okay. I'm trying I was looking on my Amazon cart because I bought Gary's book. Think like a pancreas. See, and that was around the time that I had started. I want us to 2017 1819 2120 20 I think it was 2017. Ish. And so I had been working with her. She never brought it up. And then of course, in my emails with her, she has this long list of like, what an amazing person and how smart she is. And I didn't ever see.

Scott Benner 10:24
Is that what you think of when you see her emails like this? Yes. She's like, she'd be horrified. Oh, my God, she'd be horrified if she knew, you know,

Amy 10:35
I know. I know. So it says juice bottle Juicebox Podcast. And so I had started listening to podcasts when I was just struggling and needed to fill fill that monologue with something else. And so I had found some different ones nondiabetic related, really liked. And then I was like, man, it would be amazing to have a podcast that has, you know, diabetes related material. So I started looking and subscribe to a few and was just like, This is not like, I'm not that into this and you know, listen to one and then was like app. And so I came across yours. Really liked it, download, you know, subscribe to it. And then I was like, Wait, Jenny. And so then I asked her about it. She's like, Oh, yeah, I do those with Scott. That was like, Jenny, you've been holding back on me all these years. I had to get caught up like a little quicker than everybody else.

Scott Benner 11:42
I have to say you were so close to using a line from Forrest Gump that I would have made the title but then you didn't say that's my Jenny. So

Amy 11:50
she is she is my Jenny. Okay. So to to expound on that? I have. She's been working with me for seven years. She is and I know, she'll, she's like, I'm gonna listen to the podcast. I'm like, Oh, great. But she's an amazing person. And try not to get emotional, but she's really been there for me during some hard times. And she just is so she's so thoughtful and kind and then very practical at the same time, like, Well, you probably should do this or you probably should, like, take care of this. Like, let's pick out of the like, 900 things that you've written an email to me about let's pick four to work on.

Scott Benner 12:35
Please, please keep doing your Jenny impression. Whatever. Okay. Gonna say something crazy. Your general impression. Sounds like Colonel Potter doing an impression of father Mulcahy on mash, which is a no way reference, you're gonna understand.

Amy 12:55
Oh, no, I know what mash is. I haven't watched much of it, but I know what it is.

Scott Benner 12:59
Keep keep up with whenever you go to Jenny's voice, please go to that. Okay, so. Okay, so you let's talk about what gets you to Jenny, is it? I mean, you said hard times what is hard times mean?

Amy 13:14
Well, what got me to Jenny was actually my dad. So we live in a very small rural town in northern, northern Northern California. And the nearest, I don't know, growing up, we went to UCSF for all our endocrinologist appointments, and anything diabetes related. And so we aren't near anything. And once I graduated from UCSF, I didn't have an endocrinologist and I was working with my PCP. And he at the time, he actually was a type one diabetic. I had a primary care that had type one, which was really cool. You know, but very old, very old school diabetic, like, you know, and so, I was, for a while without an endocrinologist. I don't have an endocrinologist at this point. So I had just been kind of had not struggling like it wasn't horrible, but I'm definitely not. I'm definitely doing better now. And so my dad ended up finding Integrated diabetes and he goes, Well, Amy, I will pay for this if you want to try it out. And I was very skeptical, skeptical, like, great, like, what's a video chat was I'm going to do that's not going to help. And it it's been incredible. My agency now is up 5.8 She in the last six months, I started doing the DIY looping. I've been on the Dexcom since I think 2012. I started on the G four when it was the that was one of the newer ones. I wrote in my email that I'm on the G seven but I'm not I'm on the I'm on the G six currently

Scott Benner 15:00
As we're recording this g7 is only been out for five days. Correct?

Amy 15:05
Correct. And I just had an appointment with Katherine at integrated and she's like, are you going to try to get that? And I said, I, I would like to but I'm, I'm, you know how things are working. And you don't want to like screw it up with like, whether that's insurance or like just karma. Like, I do not want to bleep up my orders.

Scott Benner 15:29
That are like, you think that it would mess up your karma if you updated your Dexcom?

Amy 15:33
Oh, my God. Well, I have had so many issues with insurance where it's like, oh, we need to get this filled in. Oh, well, I have to talk to your doctor. And then you're just going back and forth calling, calling insurance calling the doctor's office calling insurance calling decks calm. So I'm at a good point right now when I don't want to eat or that.

Scott Benner 15:56
I completely understand. I think I had a prescription sent for g7 before g7 ever came out. And so the next time Arden's like her order flips over. We'll get it. Yeah, seven the next time. Very cool. But that's I mean, I don't know when that is. I don't know how many she's at school right now I don't, I don't know how many CGM she has. And, you know, I'm waiting for the text message that says, I only have one G six left, go. Where was that text when you had two left? Right. But she's pretty good about it. So she'll tell me when she's getting lower. And then I'll just have the next one center. But I take your point, like things are working. It's a tough balance, right? Because things are working. And you don't you don't want to rock the boat. And at the same time, you don't want to wake up like 10 years from now. And like, you know, somebody's wearing the Dexcom. I don't know g 24. Right. Wait, no, G 24 is like that conference about? Let's get that she's willing to? Wait, this conference is the g8. What am I thinking of? I don't know. I don't know Scott. Well, they ping pong. Oh, hold on. The Intergovernmental group of 24 on the International Monetary Affairs and development or group of 24 was established in 1971 as a chapter of the group of 77 in order to help coordinate what the hell anyway, I knew G 24 was a thing. But yeah, I You just don't want to get to the point where you're like, you know, like, imagine if you were using a Dexcom g4 right now. Yeah, you'd be missing out. But that's not what you're talking about. You'll update us things.

Amy 17:36
Oh, 100%. Yeah.

Scott Benner 17:39
So before Jenny, what was your one say?

Amy 17:43
It was a little higher. So I went, I was diagnosed, it was in it, I think it was like 15 or 16. And I was, I was in the like, I don't know, Nines at one point. And then I got it down, lower into the eighth, then I got down. So probably was in the sevens. Maybe like high sevens. When we started,

Scott Benner 18:07
what was going on that your you and your father were talking about it and that he offered to? Like he's like, here, I'll pay for basically, I mean, cons here, you're basically getting, yeah, yeah, you know, so

Amy 18:17
1000s and 1000s of dollars. He's taken care of for somebody

Scott Benner 18:21
to talk to you and go put your thing here and do this and try that. So. But what makes that

Amy 18:27
I think I think the biggest thing is my dad, because both my brother and I are type one diabetics. And so my dad is just so supportive of us and, you know, wanting us to live healthy and long lives. And I don't even know, I think he just was on Google. And he was looking at stuff. And I probably was complaining about it at the time. And so some I think he read an article. That's usually how he finds stuff. So he read an article, and then he's like, Oh, this website, why don't you take a look at this. And I at the beginning, it was so funny, because now I'm like, I don't I don't know what I would do if I didn't have that. Emotionally and diabetes wise.

Scott Benner 19:11
Does your does your brother sees me?

Amy 19:14
He does not. So he's, it's, it's hard because I actually had yesterday, Monday morning was a holiday and I get a call from my dad. And he's like, I declined it because we were in bed. And then he calls again, and I'm like, and so he sends me a text call me now. So I call him and he's like, John's boss is trying to get a hold of him. He went to the house, his work cars still there. He couldn't get inside. No one's answering. He's not answering his phone.

Scott Benner 19:49
Now let's talk about the Dexcom g7. The Dexcom g7 is a small and wearable continuous glucose monitoring system. It sends real time glucose As readings to your Dexcom g7 app, or the Dexcom receiver, use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To learn more and get started today, you will be able to effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they're headed. This way, you'll be able to make better decisions about food, insulin and activity. Once you're able to see the impact that those variables have on blood sugar, you'll begin to make more purposeful decisions and have better outcomes. My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom product for so many years. I don't even remember when she started. But today she wears the Dexcom g7. And it is small and easy. And oh my goodness, are you going to love it dexcom.com forward slash juice box, you can head there now and click on the button that will get you your free benefits check or just hit that other button that says Get Started. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. My daughter Arden has been wearing an omni pod since she was four years old. And she is now 19 That is every day wearing an omni pod for the last 15 years. I think what we love most about Omni pod is that it doesn't have any tubing. But I don't know is that the thing you love most about it? You don't have to take it off to swim or bave you can leave it on for activity and exercise. It's small. I don't eat I mean, it's so easy to put on. Right to fill it and to put it on. It's just it takes us no time at all. Yeah, I guess it's hard to figure out what my favorite thing about Omnipod is. I guess I'll just say that my daughter loves it. It's easy, and it's worked for her. For so many years. It's just such a friend at all this Omni pod.com Ford slash juice box, you can check your coverage there for your insurance. Or take a test drive, right? Would you like a free trial the AMI pod you can do that there as well. And you can just get started Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Now you have a decision to make. Do you want the Omni pod dash, which is an insulin pump? Where you make all the decisions? Or do you want the Omni pod five now the iPod five is the first and only tubeless automated insulin delivery system to integrate with the Dexcom G six. And it's available for people with type one diabetes ages two years and older. It features smarter, just technology. And it's going to help you to protect against highs and lows both day and night. That's an algorithm based system making decisions about insulin given it and taking it away. It's pretty damn cool. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox the links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. When you use those legs, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful.

Amy 22:58
You know, and immediately I'm just like, Yeah, and so I called his girlfriend she didn't answer she was at work, and then gave her number to my dad. And I'm like, we're just gonna go over there. I'm like, I'll break in if we have to. And so I grabbed the glucagon and I grabbed the soda. And we started driving over there. My dad texts me the code to their front door. So I just barged into the house, go back to the bedroom. I didn't even knock. I was yelling, I didn't knock. I was yelling at this point like John, John John. And so I walked in and he's in bed and he was like, very, like not very coherent. And so I'm like, Are you having a low and he's like, gets up and he's kind of, you know, and I go you need to test now and he got up. So I was like, Okay, this isn't like that bad. And he ended up testing and he was really high. So he ended up you know, just taking care of it. And then I didn't even stay very long to talk I was just like, Okay, we're making sure you okay, go you call Dad call your boss and let them know you're alright. And then I'm like and probably want to let Sadie know to and so he anyways, he just got he had gotten really high and he was wasn't waking up. And we've had a couple of times where he's had some pretty bad lows. You know, both of us have. But it just it scares you. Yeah, does it?

Scott Benner 24:31
Do you and he have a relationship where you talk about this?

Amy 24:35
A little bit a heat where life is just so busy, and we do talk about stuff and I have been pushing on him. He's not on any, any devices. I'm like, get on the Dexcom like out of anything that you could do for yourself, at least do that. And he's an electrician, so he's, you know, crawling under houses and in attics and his whole thing is like I just can't get it to stay on and I'm like well that That's bullshit, because there are Olympic Olympic skiers and swimmers that were on. So you know, yeah, I think for him, it's, I don't know, I'm not sure why he fully won't try it. You know, he did the Libra at some point for a little bit. And he's like, I hated it. But I feel like the Dexcom is different.

Scott Benner 25:22
Did you? Did you ever approach it that way? The way he does, or have you always been trying, but not as successful?

Amy 25:29
Just to take care of myself? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I, I've been pretty on top of it. I mean, obviously. So I was diagnosed in 96. And my dad ended up. Well, Google wasn't in 96. But he got on the internet. And he looked it up. And he goes, weight loss, sweetness on the breath, extreme thirst, excessive thirst. And then he's like, Trey's, you take her to the doctor right now. And so my mom ended up taking me to our pediatrician. And they did a, you know, they did a blood test, and they're like, You need to go to the hospital right now. That they told my mom, my mom's like, well, she hasn't eaten can I get her food? And they're like, take her to her last meal. Like the Last Supper?

Scott Benner 26:21
How much? How long after your diagnosis was your brother's.

Amy 26:25
So two years later, and my parents I had I was hospitalized. But my dad was able to catch it earlier on with him, so he wasn't as high wasn't, you know, wasn't in DKA. And they were able to just, you know, set up an appointment and, and diagnose him and without having to do the whole hospitalization. And obviously, they had two years of practice before they write.

Scott Benner 26:55
What other you know, I was going to say, Are there any other but I have a strong feeling. So what other autoimmune issues are in your eye? God, Scott, oh, my God. You're not gonna beat the lady that I've recorded with yesterday. But go ahead and try. Okay.

Amy 27:11
Well, we always joke because my grandfather worked at Dow Chemical Company in Michigan, and my dad's like, something went on there. So my grandfather had multiple sclerosis. And this is on my dad's side of the family. My aunt has multiple sclerosis. My dad and I think two or three other sisters have hypothyroidism. I have hypothyroidism. I have two relatives on my mother's side that had type two diabetes. I'm pretty sure my mom has celiac, even though she hasn't had it tested. But it's, I Googled it. And I'm like, my mom has celiac disease. So I actually got tested for that recently, because I was just like, I kind of want to rule that out. I'm trying to think what else there? I think someone has rheumatoid arthritis. But you know,

Scott Benner 28:07
we're just and then you're just type one and thyroid. Type one and thyroid. Correct. Yeah, yeah. You do not beat the lady from yesterday. You don't even come close. So she had she had she had seven. Oh, goodness. Yeah. herself. Yes. herself. Oh, gosh. Yeah. mast cell activation. Type one celiac? Oh, gosh, thyroid. Raynaud's. Oh, my goodness. I'm missing one. But it was it was really interesting conversation. Okay, wow. So I want to I guess I want to go backwards a little bit. So you guys are diagnosed when you're pretty young, your brother gets diagnosed after that you're using are using regular and mph when you're first diagnosed?

Amy 28:52
Correct? Yeah. So clear, clear. Before cloudy. I remember that. My parents were drawing up our insulin, you know, at that point, but I pretty quickly was able to learn and draw up shots and you know, parents, my parents would check it. But I had did a lot of hands on. I'm very like, give it to me. I'll figure it out. I want to do it. And I just wanted that I wanted that freedom. I had a wedding in Washington that I was going to go to friends with go with friends too. And my parents were like, well, you have to be able to change your set. Because at that point I was on mini med five. Oh, wait, you got to do this. You got to do that. And I was like, Hey, bring it on. I'm gonna do it. Right. I figured this out. I need I need Yeah. Felicia little longer.

Scott Benner 29:42
No, of course. How old were you? When? When that happened? When you went to that wedding? Do you remember?

Amy 29:46
I think it was about 13. Okay. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:50
Who did you know that was getting married? i This doesn't matter. But now I'm interested.

Amy 29:53
Oh, it was friends that at one of the churches up in Washington that we knew Okay.

Scott Benner 30:00
Okay, so you kind of took over your care. And when do you trans? Well, you started regular and mph, but didn't go too long because you moved to the mini Med, right? How?

Amy 30:10
Well I was on the regular and mph for a while the mini med was like, I think 13 is when I started that.

Scott Benner 30:17
Okay. That's about three years then. Yeah. Okay. How would you like characterize your care? Was it going? Well,

Amy 30:26
it was going pretty good. Definitely. It's interesting listening to your episodes, and just going like, there's so much outdated information. You know, like the, if you have a low 15 carbs, wait 15 minutes test again, and there's been, you know, oh, you only need eight carbs, or you you don't even need that much. If you're looping and you see you enter those carbs. You're like, oh, that's worth insulin. Yeah. And so I think a lot of that was just the kind of the era, you know, and I wouldn't say it was, it wasn't like it is now. My control. But it wasn't horrible. It was kind of like in the middle, like you do pretty good. You know, and it's hard to gauge that too. Because you have like, Oh, I'm 120 out of meal. Awesome. Oh, I'm 145 at a meal. Well, what happened in between those two hours? You know? Yeah, we didn't know. So

Scott Benner 31:23
but for that for the standard of care, then everything was going well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so then as you move forward, how does it happen? Like, how does? Like, how do we grow? Is it is that that your doctor changes your expert, his expectation, or her expectation of you, and it's a number you're shooting for? Or do you think it's just that they add newer and better technology, and then things just norm? I mean, as a normal part of like, you know, what I mean, like, you throw a Dexcom on somebody, and, and put the range somewhere reasonable. And, and they put some effort into it, like they're going to meet that range. You don't I mean, like, they might not get to it, right. But they're going to least they have a target all of a sudden, or if they went from not having a target not being able to see their blood sugar, what's happening between the 120 to 145. At least now they can see it. Like, you know, I would say there's a couple of episodes of the podcast where it's talked about pretty specifically, but if you just lower your high alarm on your Dexcom Yep. Your, your time and range, you know, gets better your variability gets better, and your agency goes down.

Amy 32:34
Yeah. And that's what I ended up doing. When I started listening, I was like, Oh, what 120? Great. So what it says Hi, when the Dexcom clarity comes in, and it's like, hi, 11% I'm like, Oh, cool. That was like 134 and 148. Awesome.

Scott Benner 32:51
Yeah, I know, sometimes people put up things online, they're like, I was in range. All day today, then I look in the range is like, yeah, 60 to super wide. 50. And I'm like, Well, yeah, I mean, okay. But if that gets him excited, then I think that's great, actually, because then they can kind of ratchet it down slowly. But yeah, but do you see what I'm saying? Like, did you just move along through technology and expectations? It's never really spoken. Right. It's just kind of happens. Do you know what I mean?

Amy 33:18
Yeah, I think I think it's just a mixture of things. Like you see things coming out on the market. And, you know, someone tried it and mentioned it, or the doctor mentioned it, or, you know, you I mean not then but now you see a commercial for ducks calm. But I think it helped one that at the after I graduated from my peds doctor to my regular doctor that he was a type one. And both my brother and I went to him. So that that definitely helped. It was much, much more of a like, I don't know, it's not the care that I'm getting from Jenny, where it's like, Mike, we're not micromanaging. But we're like, micro going into things and like going, okay, so if you're exercising and you want your number to be at this level, and before you exercise, you're gonna you know, so we have all these like little things. It was a little more broad. And then he ended up moving out of the area. And so I was looking for a primary care and I'm just like, frantic, like, great, I need someone to give me an insulin prescription. And I ended up going into this doctor, and my first appointment with her was one of the most horrific, horrible experiences. She first at the time, I wasn't sexually active and she's like, You need to get on birth control. And I was like, No, I actually I really don't need to know it is it is important as a diabetic that you get on birth control. You shouldn't have an unplanned pregnancy, blah, blah, blah. bla bla bla bla bla, I don't need to get on birth control. And then she goes, Are you a lesbian?

Scott Benner 35:06
10 minutes into this, you're like, Okay, I was just like, what went half? way you gotta

Amy 35:14
not that that would have been a bad thing. But I'm like, lady, what the heck? Oh my god, and then she, she's sitting there and I'm like talking about stuff with her. This is our first appointment. And she goes, You know what? I don't think you're a type one diabetic. I think you're, I think you're a Modi diabetic. And I'm just like, you are looking insane. This is madness. And so I'm just like, holding it together. Like, God, get me out of this appointment. I just like let me get out the door. So they asked me an appointment ended and I was just like, I can't even talk. She goes, Do you want to reschedule your next appointment? I go, you know, I'm I'm gonna wait just a bit. I'll call back. Yeah, right. I did not.

Scott Benner 36:02
Did you get a script? No, I didn't, I would have got up and left in the middle.

Amy 36:07
Probably I probably should have I was so upset. I called my previous doctor and I just started crying. And he said the same thing. She's insane. And I was like,

Scott Benner 36:19
why is it so hard? That's hilarious. After

Amy 36:22
what, two years of having diabetes, and someone's like, you're not a type one diabetic. You're Modi.

Scott Benner 36:28
type one diabetic. You're a lesbian?

Amy 36:31
And that too? Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:33
That's the thing. Oh, my God, it was it was How old were you? When that happened? I was

Amy 36:38
in my 20s. And I was just like, shoot me, what am I doing. And then I had a girlfriend who was a type one diabetic. And she goes, Oh, my doctor is taking patients, and you should try to get in. And so I ended up getting in with him. Such a sweet guy. He's very, he's like, You remind me of my daughter. So it's very much like a father figure. I feel very comfortable with him. His knowledge of you know, it's it's difficult because I don't want to judge doctors on their knowledge of diabetes, but a lot of people just don't understand it. And, and the small ins and outs of it. And so I was very hands on, he would be like, kiddo, you're doing a great job, keep up what you're doing. And I'm like, geez, this is not helpful. And so that was what led to my dad finding the Integrated diabetes.

Scott Benner 37:34
I gotcha. Okay. So at that point, when that doctor is telling you, kiddo, you're doing a great job. Where's your agency, then? I was probably in the sevens I think. Yeah. So that doctor is just basically going on what the ADA says. And number seems about right. And he's like, it's perfect. Yeah, I get you. But did you know it wasn't? Or did you feel like no, I am doing right.

Amy 37:57
No, I definitely didn't feel like that. I felt like there's definitely more room for improvement. I mean, Scott, slightly a perfectionist. So if I'm, I have a very hard time just settling like, oh, something's good. I'm like, No, I want to 5.5 We're gonna get it down low. So I just I struggle with that and other things, just wanting it to be like, if it's not perfect, then just throw it out. And so I wasn't, you know, feeling like I was getting that. Perfection, like I wanted

Scott Benner 38:31
did once you got there. I mean, you have a 5.8 Now, once you got there, did that feel and go away? Like this isn't enough?

Amy 38:38
Oh, hell, no, I It's more, there's more. I can get it lower. I can do better. I can

Scott Benner 38:45
get my negative numbers. Scott if I try hard enough. So I mean, when you look at a five, eight, what are you thinking like, I want to see a 5455

Amy 38:56
That's my neck. That's my next goal. The other thing that I've been working on recently is just exercising and not having to eat either before during or after maybe a little before being able to almost live like I don't have type type one diabetes, even though I'm like psychoanalyzing everything down to the minute

Scott Benner 39:21
I'm trying to pretend I don't have it while playing well, so but I think that's important, right? The everybody makes statements that are so black and white, right? Like it's always everyone's always either or it can never be both but or a mixture or something just for some reason i i love this. I hate that I you know, five, eight is good is not good. I want 5558 is great. And so six two, and you only mean like these are great agencies. And also, you know, your your agency is fairly heavily weighted towards what your blood sugar squirt, like just prior to the agency being drawn? Correct, right. So I mean, you could have one great week and roll in there and knock a couple, you know, decimals off if you if you wanted. And that doesn't mean that your last nine months weren't, you know, five cents, you know, so it's, but I take your point about being very focused on it, but does it overwhelm your life?

Amy 40:26
I have occasional meltdowns.

Scott Benner 40:30
Okay. Are there other things going on? Amy, that we're not talking about.

Amy 40:34
There. There. There definitely was, I mean, and the fact that the fact that I'm still here now is kind of a big part of that. I had gotten into a relationship that was just that ended up being really toxic, and I was not gonna let it go. And it was affecting Wait

Scott Benner 40:57
a minute, you weren't? What does that mean? You weren't letting him out of it. That easy. He was gonna fix it.

Amy 41:04
Well, I so I, I had never, I didn't date growing up. So I grew up. I grew up in not quite like, not a Mormon thing. But like, you know, we didn't date and people in our church community would. It wasn't, it wasn't. Also it wasn't like when people were pairing people up, but it was just like, Oh, I like her. Oh, why don't you guys get to know each other in a group setting? So it was like, I guess you'd call it like, dating in a group. And so, which I was absolutely, like, I don't need men in my life. Like, forget this. This is too much work.

Scott Benner 41:48
You said when you weren't the new doctor, and you said you weren't sexually active. Did you mean ever or at that time?

Amy 41:55
Oh, never. i

Scott Benner 42:00
Okay, gotcha.

Amy 42:02
That's 31 Year Old Virgin.

Scott Benner 42:06
You're gonna make your own movie. Oh, yeah. But you live with someone now? Yes.

Amy 42:12
I do. Yes. So I'm with I'm currently with a boyfriend.

Scott Benner 42:16
And he's been making all your everything. He he was. He's been near all your parts and everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, all of them. See over there. You're looking to your left.

Amy 42:27
No, no, right. Okay.

Scott Benner 42:31
So, okay, so you. Oh, that's interesting. So did you grow up? Sheltered? Do you feel or no? Okay.

Amy 42:41
Like, so I had, I didn't, I didn't really even have a sex ed in school. We went to a private school. And so there were a lot of things just outside of that, that I was like, very oblivious to innuendos, like this stuff. I'm like, I didn't know what it meant. People are like, Oh, God, keep your mouth

Scott Benner 43:05
shut. Were you particularly outside of it? Even in your group? Or did everyone that you grew up with kind of have the same vibe,

Amy 43:15
um, pretty much everyone had the same vibe and in the group I was in, and it was a good group of people. You know, I I really had some very close friends. I had my best friend and I had been Hi, I think 30 years, 30 years best friends for 30 years. So we were like, Hey, this isn't. This isn't a cult, right. Oh, God. People call it that. Okay. People do call it that. It's not it's not I wouldn't call it that.

Scott Benner 43:43
Okay. Well, you get your rural like your rural right, like, yeah, growing up. Okay. Yeah. All right. And all right. So how does that affect? How does that affect your mindset? Like how you attack things? Did it? Do you think it makes you more, like protective of yourself? Like less aggressive or outgoing? Or I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking. Oh, no, no,

Amy 44:14
I am. I'm very outgoing. I always have been, but I feel like just it made for a perfection, like things have to be perfect. And I realized that not everyone is built this way. Right. And other people wouldn't do things quite as perfect, but I just felt like I never like it was never enough. And I think that carried into all aspects of my life of just this. Like, it couldn't be better. If I if I had given an extra hour of practice to the piano, I could have learned that part. If I had done this for I could have if I had whatever not

Scott Benner 44:55
is that the religion part? know

Amy 44:58
a little bit I think it's a little bit the religion part I do my dad's that same way, he's just very organized. And I'm not a go getter, but just like, we're gonna do this, we're gonna get it done, we're going to do it really well. And so I just, I have a personality of like a crazy perfection and just

Scott Benner 45:20
gonna get those things done. I mean, I just I'm trying to figure out like how you get to that point, but, um, I don't know if there's a correlation or not between, like godliness, and a heavenly outlook and perfection. And then you're, you're shooting to get there and everything has to be on that path. Like, I don't know, like, I'm just asking you,

Amy 45:40
I don't I, a part of it is that I think just like, we're supposed to be this act this certain way, or do these things this way? And like, you feel like you're falling short or not doing good enough? I think part of it did have to do with, there were some very judgmental people that, you know, like, what are you thinking? What are your thoughts on that? Like, just kind of always feeling out? where you're at?

Scott Benner 46:08
What you're doing the right things?

Amy 46:10
Yeah. Like, are you talking enough? Are you doing like, are you in communion with people? Are you talking? And and I think at that point, it just may it may be a people pleaser, 100%. Just like, I my mom would get upset. She's like, Amy, you say yes to everyone, you need to say yes to yourself. She's like, you'll tell so and so you'll watch their kids that night. And so until you watch their kids that night, and then you have a practice that night and a practice that night, and you're going in this first this this morning, and she's like, You need to take care of yourself. So my parents were definitely like, like, flow down. Yeah, you know, and I get whipped up and just like, I don't have time to exercise and my mom's like, you make time to exercise.

Scott Benner 47:01
You make time. Okay. All right. I get it better now. All right. So, I mean, do you know any other people with type one besides your brother?

Amy 47:13
I do. I have. I had a girlfriend. She's out of the area now. But she was someone I was not super close with. But we definitely she worked at the gym, and I go and we talk about different things. And she was the one that sent me to my prime Mary care that I'm with now. And she was a really great person, just very upbeat. And then recently, I met someone on Instagram, and she's just a few hours away from us. So we've connected a couple of times in the past year. And we'll talk about stuff.

Scott Benner 47:50
That's cool. Okay, so now I'm gonna go back to when you said you were in a bad relationship. Yeah. And in your note to me, you said you want to talk about being in therapy as well, right? Yeah. Okay. So when? I mean, does therapy come first as a bad relationship come first? Like how? Like, how was there? Like some naivety? With 100%? Yeah. So you had you were naive person coming into like an adult world. And kind of telling me what happened there.

Amy 48:23
So yet another person I met at the gym, so he was at the gym, and I was I don't know exactly how it came up. Oh, I'm a little clumsy. Okay, so I was up in this like, upstairs area, and it was just the two of us and we're on different machines. And I got off my sheet machine and I ah, I fell. I hit my knee, my ankle rolled. I'm just like, sitting on the floor, like, Oh, God, get me up crack. So I get up and he's he's like, are you all right? Is everything okay? And I'm like, Oh, good. Like, it was so embarrassing. And he introduced himself and then I introduced myself and that was it. Then, you know, the weeks went by the month went by, he started chatting with me. And we're just, you know, small talk, found out he had a daughter, talk to her a little bit. And then one week, he was like, would you want to go out? And my answer? I don't date. You know, and explaining that to people is just like, slightly awkward, which I was very good at it.

Scott Benner 49:34
Why did you put me in that moment? Why Why were you a person who didn't date?

Amy 49:39
I think it was growing up. I didn't do it. The people I were with didn't date in the regular sense of the word. And so I just it was I had a quick answer. I was like, Look, I don't date I'm waiting for waiting for someone. I like how do you explain that to people? No,

Scott Benner 49:58
I'm asked you'd explain to me because I don't understand what you're talking about. You're waiting for what?

Amy 50:03
You're waiting for basically someone to come into the church.

Scott Benner 50:09
Ah, okay, you're waiting. Okay. See, now I understand

Amy 50:13
that you want someone that's involved in so my answer to him was I go, I want someone that's, you know, building in the church that I'm building and doing the same things basically, like wanting someone whose life aligns with mine. Yeah. And, and so he's like, Okay, well, where's your church? And I was like, oh, such and such. And he's like, Okay, well, maybe I'll come in. I was like me,

Scott Benner 50:40
you must have looked really good in those workout clothes. This isn't making a mistake right away. This this divining rod is no, hold on a second. This thing you hold out it leads, you know, I think I know what his was. Alright, so you've never heard divining rod?

Amy 51:02
No. But I think I know what your

Scott Benner 51:08
attempts they they used to use them to try to find it's ridiculous like to you. It's a fork rod believed to indicate the presence of water or minerals, especially by dipping downward when held over a vein like people would walk around with them in front of them. And they thought it led them to things divining rod and I'm just yeah, I'm saying yes. You understand what I'm getting at? Yeah. Okay. So he goes to the trouble, why he really did want to have sex with you. He went to the trouble of going to your church.

Amy 51:36
So he did. So the first Sunday, he came by himself. Oh, and I didn't tell him that was my dad's my dad's the pastor. Okay. I was like, Oh, I'll bring that piece of information. And so afterwards, he's like, You didn't tell me that your dad was the pastor. I'm like, I didn't know what to do. So anyway, so he comes. And then he comes again. And then he comes again. And it was super awkward, because I just have everyone in my life. Like, why is he here? Why are you talking to him? Why are you know, like, just like, Oh, I am so uncomfortable. And up until that point, like, I had guy friends. I had, you know, the people and I had I, easily, I don't have an issue like talking with guys. So I was just like, This is so different than anything I've ever dealt with before. I don't even know how to act. And so my dad's like, Well, why don't why don't we have a talk? Because like, if you're wanting to date her, and so he started meeting with my dad, and, and just talking about different things. And my dad's like, well, like what's your you know, what's your outlook on, on church and God and all those things. And his parents are Christians, and very, very good and kind people. I'm still in contact with his mom. She's an angel. Then we ended up swapping emails one week, because I was just like, Dude, I cannot handle talking to him in front of like, with these women standing next to me, like lay in the head.

Scott Benner 53:17
So they didn't like that you brought in somebody from the outside.

Amy 53:21
I think they just didn't, yes, but I think it was more like why is he here? Like, is he just here for you know, a

Scott Benner 53:29
lot of effort to have sex with you? Many many weeks in a row? Oh, yeah. Oh, but that no months? months, but that must have been impressive to you. Right? That he kept coming back?

Amy 53:38
Oh, 100% it like, like, my heart Slowly melted. I was like, Oh, someone cares. From our church. Okay, so

Scott Benner 53:46
how does this go wrong? He put in what did he do?

Amy 53:49
So things progressed. And we started emailing each other. And we were emailing back and forth. And now looking back at it, it's like, oh, I had rose colored glasses on and I wasn't seeing red flags. Like, I was looking at this situation of like, someone actually wants me, like, someone wants to get to know me. And I was just like, you know, kind of besides myself, like they're actually doing the work. Yeah. Like, maybe this will work. And one of the things why I think the relationship lasted as long as it did is I told my parents at one point like he was my lash shot. Like, I was looking at it.

Scott Benner 54:35
Oh, Amy, you are, but you're lovely. Why? Why do you think that? I don't know.

Amy 54:41
I made it to 30 years old and I was like, Oh God, I'm gonna die alone and get to buy more.

Scott Benner 54:49
Oh my gosh, Amy. No. I listen to it just seems to me like you were swimming in too small of a pool. Yeah. Oh, 100%. You just weren't seeing enough people. And you weren't seeing the person you were looking for in that group. That doesn't mean that there's no one for you. Just you were too limited. Yeah. Okay. And so,

Amy 55:08
and then it was a little now looking back again, a little bit of a love bombing, like him telling me like, you are the person that I've been waiting for my entire life. You know, and then I think I love you came out too quickly. Okay. And then having him tell me like, I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought I didn't want any more kids. But I'd, I'd want to have kids with you. You know, so you said all the right things that just made me go like, Oh, this is it. This is finally this is the person I've been waiting for my whole life.

Scott Benner 55:45
And how long does it take to figure out that's not true?

Amy 55:48
Well, things started. So we're so we're talking. And I wasn't telling people that I was talking to him. So my parents didn't know my friends didn't know, I'm just like having these emails and, you know, text conversations, occasional phone calls, and we're talking about everything. And so then it got to the point where we started meeting up. And you know, you know, where this leads, you know, so like, a few months later, we started meeting up, and then we're, you know, and then I had this point where I try August, September, so we're like, about five months in at this point. And I'm just like, I feel uneasy. I'm lying to everyone around me. So I'm like, that's kind of like partially killing me. But I'm like, Okay, we'll get past it because he's gonna marry me, and then everything will be okay, you know. And so we continued on, and things just slowly started to deteriorate. And he did not messaged me back, there was a lot of instances where I was like, I'd ask a question. And then I wouldn't hear from him for a while. And I was like, Okay, it's weird, you know, and then his daughter started coming to the school that we had. So I was her teacher in a couple of the classes. So I'm working with his daughter, and then the app. At one point, both of them got baptized. So that was even more like, seemed like he was in for it. Yeah, he was, he was there. And he was ready to do the work. And I understood, like, you can't have a full life outside of that environment, and then come in and be like, click, it takes, you know, time to understand what things mean. Do you

Scott Benner 57:36
think that after he acquired you that he lost interest and went off to Ohio or something else?

Amy 57:43
I felt that way. And so we so it was about, I think about seven months, and then we finally slept together? And so, you know, in me with like, I mean, it was luckily it was nice that it wasn't like a weird situation, but I didn't know what the hell was going on. And I'm like, Oh my God.

Scott Benner 58:04
I thought you're gonna say I didn't know which end was up, which would have been hilarious Amy, but nevermind. Did this happen to Rashid? Did it really? Did you like you didn't like, I don't know what religion you are.

Amy 58:18
nondenominational it's uh, we are have a background with like, kind of the Presbyterian Pentecostal ish. And then it got more into a Lutheran, not a Lutheran church, but like a Lutheran and Martin Luther. From the Reformation, and just more of a reformational Yeah.

Scott Benner 58:43
You're describing your courtship from the 1800s and 1920.

Amy 58:46
Yes, yes. Yeah, yes, Scott. I realized awkward first

Scott Benner 58:53
we talk and then we took a walk together he came to church and met my father. And yes, we spent more time at social events. Once we danced, it was it was very exciting. Years later, I let him see my flower with the lights off and

Amy 59:22
I will say I clicked into things pretty quickly. It didn't take much so obviously created to do that kind of stuff.

Scott Benner 59:33
Like I have my only fans now. I made that up. You don't have an only fans account. You don't know that? I don't. So like I don't want to be like, I gotta have an ad. He's like romcom but did like did that process light a fire where you like hey, let's do that more. And oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah,

Amy 59:59
I If I felt, and this is this is very toxic, but I felt like that was my connection to him. And that's what obviously he wanted. And so if I could have that short amount of happiness where everything was okay, like, great, like, let's do it as much as possible, because I felt connected to him and like he, like he really cared like, yeah. You know, and what was kind of awful leading up to it, because I was just very much like, No, I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. And he was understanding, you know, and obviously, I made him wait a while. And then at one point, he's like, You got to understand I have needs to. And that comment was what made me go, Oh, I'm just maybe I'm being selfish. Like, maybe I'm just like, yeah. And so that harshly led into it. I think just that that really.

Scott Benner 1:01:03
Like, to me, what occurs to be is that you basically had the sexual understanding of a 15 year old, and you're, you're dating a guy in his 30s. And his 40s is, oh, my God, please, listen, I've been married for I don't even know how long I can do the math for you real quick. 16. And then there's four more 24. And I've been married almost 27 years. And my wife is working downstairs. And when you and I get done with this, I'm gonna go downstairs and every effort I make is going to be about having sex. It won't work out. But that's not the point. So it just yeah, it so you don't know all that about boys. And he's, well now I do. Yeah. So Oh, wow. And so you had this? So you? That's where I'm gonna go back to what you said. So when he hit you with the I have needs thing? Yeah, instead of going, I don't care. I'm worried about me first. You were like, Oh, okay. Sorry.

Amy 1:02:03
people pleaser? Yeah. I mean, I had I think one of the Toxics toxic things from my past is just I had, I wanted people to be happy with me, you know, and everyone. I think it's difficult when everyone likes you, and you just float by in life. And my dad had said this, at one point, he's like, Amy, you are going to hit a time in your life where people just don't like you for you being you like you have to not prove it to them. But like, you're gonna hit people that don't just don't sync up with you. And up until that point, I hadn't had that. I just was happy go lucky. And people like me, and I'm outgoing, and I can talk and do all these things. And then you hit a relationship where you're like, Well, what if? What if they don't like me for me? Yeah. You know, and I had never hit that point. Up until then. And so,

Scott Benner 1:03:00
but this is you. I'm talking to you right now, though, right. Like, this is how you I mean, you seem like jovial and pleasant and you're animated and thoughtful and like, Yeah, okay. Yeah. It's just, you just shot you were just sheltered. Uh huh. That's really Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because there's, I mean, there are going to be plenty of people who like your personality, and I don't see why. Yeah, I understand. I think I understand what you're saying. Your dad said, not that you have to bend who you are. But, but that people might not naturally be like, Oh, this is and you might have dealings with them business or, yeah. Or something where you have to be a little more amenable to what they're looking at. Yeah. But you apply that to your, like, dating. So so there's some there's a there's a tipping point in there between, like waiting for good reasons and waiting too long. Right, like, like to get involved in like a, like a romantic relationship. Like, do you feel like you waited too long?

Amy 1:04:01
No, I feel I feel like everything was so unconventional. And so, you know, like, again, we're six months into a relationship and people didn't know I was talking, meeting up with him talking behind the scenes, like the people in my life that I had been so close with my entire life. I wasn't being honest with them. And it was because I was afraid of what people had to say. And I was afraid that they wouldn't think he was good enough. I was afraid, you know, and that wore on him. And it just it got to the point where he was like, I can't deal with this like this is too much.

Scott Benner 1:04:43
You also didn't have any practice like I can't tell you how valuable it would have been at 16 1718 years old to just date a boy and for that boy to start being a little too aggressive and up going like Get away from me. Like like you having the power because you would have been more mature. If that point then that boy and like you would have had an opportunity to express your sorrow and grow and say, I don't have to say yes. Just because this guy tells me he has needs because trust me if a 17 year old boy would have like, groped at you and been like I have needs you would have been like, I don't care. Yeah. Right. And you didn't get to have that experience?

Amy 1:05:19
No, yeah. And I think it was difficult to because I was like, again, this is it, this is my last chance. He has put in the time he's put in, you know, the work, he's doing it, like I, I took it on as, like, I have to make this workout. And whether that was, you know, giving him gifts or whatever, you know, I bought his daughter things for school, I, I was just like, I'm 100% in and I will give anything and do anything. And I'm here for you. And if you need that emotional support, I'm here for you. And I think he really had a hard time just emotionally opening, opening up. And he'd get angry. And, you know, again, I wouldn't hear from him for a while or he lashed back and I you know, it was like, so sensitive at that point, because I'm just like, carrying all this bullshit around. And so after that, it was a very short period, where he finally told me like, I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving the church. I'm taking my daughter. We're gonna go you know, we're not coming to church anymore. i So he met with my dad told my dad, he loved me, and, but just couldn't deal with the bullshit anymore. And he ended up leaving and cutting me off like we, you know, we met and we're like, I go for anything like anything that make this workout. And he just was like, No, I'm done. I can't deal with it anymore. It's over over

Scott Benner 1:06:55
sexual incompatibility. We're just the pressure of being in the church and

Amy 1:07:01
pressure. Yeah, that pressure? Yeah. I think that had a lot to do with it. Because we, actually, it was amazing. It was great. But yeah, like that was that was not an issue. But the issue was just, I guess, how much he had to give and how much you know, and then I was looking at myself going, am I asking too much? Am I asking him to change who he is? Am I so I'm overthinking everything just going like, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe like the, you know, like, this is why I'm still single at 32 years old. And it really planted just an unhealthy seed in my mind of like, oh, that can that confirms everything I always thought see from

Scott Benner 1:07:45
I obviously don't know, every second of your life, but just from having this conversation for an hour, it seems to me like you're in an ecosystem. That is just, it's just uncomfortable for outsiders. Like yeah, and and it sounds like he tried to mesh with it, and it just didn't work didn't work out for him. Yeah. Would that make would that make you consider? Like, branching out getting outside of that bubble?

Amy 1:08:14
I haven't finished the story

Scott Benner 1:08:18
is this this is what a therapist holds, you

Amy 1:08:21
know, so what happened is, he ended up leaving, and then completely cut me off and was like, we can't talk for a certain amount of time. I'll contact you when I'm ready to talk again. So I'm just like grasping for, you know, like, anything. I just, I just want like him to respond to me. And so he completely cut me off. And I snapped. So the 910 months of me not talking about it not, you know, and so he's leaving the church. My parents are like apologizing to me. But my mom and dad don't know about what was going on. They don't. They don't know everything that led up to this. And the night that we said goodbye, basically, I came home, and I was a train wreck. So I told my parents I met up with him and he said, he's leaving. And my dad's like, Yeah, I know. I talked to him, which I already knew. And I said, I'm just tired. I need to I need to go. Go to bed early tonight. And so I I went in my bedroom, I took a large amount of insulin. I turned my phone off so the Dexcom wouldn't be on. And I went to bed. I think I took I think I took like a melatonin or something. And I was just like, I don't want my parents to know how awful I'm doing. I am done with everything that's going on. I can't deal with this anymore. And so I took it and I fell asleep. Eat. And I woke up to my parents shoving stuff in my mouth. And I was like, I didn't work. Is that really? Yeah, I was like, that wasn't good enough. And I was trying to make it look like it was an accident or like, you know, I just had a bad low I didn't want them to know. And about, I don't know, a few days later, I did it again. And I was like, I just don't want them to know how bad I'm doing. And again, somehow my mother who can like feel when my blood sugars are off comes in test my blood sugar. And I don't think my dad may have given me a partial glucagon at that point. Like, he didn't do the full one, but like a partial draw with a smaller needle. So I woke up again. And then the next day, I told my dad, I was like, Dad, I need to talk and just dumped everything. And, and told him like, I don't want you to tell mom, but both lows were on purpose. And, and I'm like, I just don't have the energy to keep going.

Scott Benner 1:11:18
And it was about social and personal stuff. It had nothing to do with your diabetes.

Amy 1:11:23
No, no, my diabetes was was doing okay. Like I was doing pretty good considering at that point. I had such stomach issues that I wasn't eating like Whole Foods. I was like, drinking blender smoothies for like breakfast lunch, and then I'd eat a little dinner. So I had dropped like 12 pounds. So I was like, probably at the smallest weight that I'd ever been at, you know, people are starting to comment on that. I'm like, I think I had hypothyroidism stuff going on. Because I was like, not able to go to the bathroom for like, a week to, you know, five days to a week. And so I'm like, my stomach is just completely. And then on top of that I'm dealing with all this stuff with you know, like the with my ex leaving. And then I just it was like everything piled on at once.

Scott Benner 1:12:14
Do you think you were Do you think you really wanted to die? I did. Yeah. Yeah. Have you felt like that since then?

Amy 1:12:24
I've had a couple times, not recently, not in the past couple years. But I had a few times after that. Where I just was like, I can't do this. This is so much work on top of the diabetes on top of dealing with the, you know, my whole relationship on top of like, it just felt like the shovel kept going like, Oh, guess what, you have hypothyroidism? Oh, guess what, you're now you're, you're, you're on medication for this Britishness. And so I just I was so worn down and physically, emotionally, I, I just couldn't, I couldn't handle it anymore. And I didn't want people to know. And then obviously, it like got out there. And there was like people like we need to have an intervention, you know, and they didn't know the stuff that was going on with my past relationship. But they're like, obviously, Amy's not doing well.

Scott Benner 1:13:22
Oh god, did they put you in a circle with the church? We had some

Amy 1:13:25
meetings not with everybody. Luckily, everyone didn't know even though everyone knew that something was going on. Because I was not myself. I mean, like you see me as this like, upbeat like bubbly person. And I was like, I was a zombie. And I had just started antidepressant. And so I had never been like that where I was just like, I like I don't give a shit about anything. Like I'm just I was a zombie.

Scott Benner 1:13:52
Yeah. Do you still take the antidepressants?

Amy 1:13:54
I do. Yeah, I do.

Scott Benner 1:13:56
Is it a different balance? Like was it out of balance? In the beginning? It was Yeah, I

Amy 1:14:00
think it was just that I had never taken anything before. And so I got on it and it was like, slow down a me who are gonna be like a normal person instead of a squirrel on caffeine. Oh

Scott Benner 1:14:16
my gosh, that's crazy. I appreciate you sharing that. I didn't realize that, by the way, like from your notes or any of the conversations. I didn't know that that had happened to ya. Did the guy ever did he ever call back and say I'm ready to talk.

Amy 1:14:31
So then a few months went by no contact. And I did text him that that the about the attempt and he ended up trying to contact my dad. And so my dad ends up finding out and I think that's how it ended up all coming out. Now that I'm thinking back like, he contacted my dad because I was like I you know, I attempted suicide. And I want to do it again. And so, you know, he he did care, but just not enough to deal with me.

Scott Benner 1:15:09
Well do. That's not fair, but I do still feel that way.

Amy 1:15:16
Yeah, there's more. There's more,

Scott Benner 1:15:19
you're there that you feel like you're too much for some people. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Well, what about the guy you're with now.

Amy 1:15:27
He's amazing. If I could go back, though. So my, my best friend ends up getting engaged, got married six weeks later. And I was at that point, just like, I couldn't deal with it anymore. Like, people didn't really knew what No, like about everything. And I was just like, I'm done pretending I am done. And so I, four days after that, I packed a bunch of stuff up from my parents house, and I moved out that same day, moved in with an older couple friend of mine that just kind of took me under their wings. And I was like, I'll figure this out. I don't know what I'm going to do. And I didn't say goodbye to anyone. I mean, to my parents, and I wasn't saying goodbye to them. But I left all my friends and all the families and everyone who I'd grown up with, without even saying goodbye. I just left Was that helpful? Yes, and no, I mean, I was still struggling so badly. And again, you know, my ex would like contact me not contact me, we'd hook up, I ended up paying for this vacation for us, so that we could go to Lake Tahoe for a little bit. And, you know, and just, it was so toxic in, you know, he was using me. And then I was just grasping, grasping for, like, please like, please, like, I love you, I'll do anything for you. And so that relationship went on like that, where he cut me off. And then we talk again, we hook up, and then he stopped talking like, Amy, you know, stop this or, you know, stop getting so emotional about things sometimes. And he said, sometimes you can. You're too much. And he's like, you say, I love you too much. And it's hard for me, because I don't want to say it back to you.

Scott Benner 1:17:29
So I'm sorry. That's horrible. But He's using you for sex, then.

Amy 1:17:34
Yeah, I think so. And then, you know, and things came out. Just recently, actually, like he was with someone else out one point. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:17:44
That's how it's how it's how it sounded. It sounded like when he was having a downpayment with someone else he'd and that worked perfectly on you, because you'd get isolated. And then one more, because of the isolation, and then he'd opened the door back up, you'd run back through and when he was done, or, or whatever, he, then he dies, like you again. Yeah, it's terrible,

Amy 1:18:06
you know, and then just small things, like, not not even saying anything on my birthday. And I'm like, hey, it's my birthday. And he's like, oh, yeah, but I have such and such. Like, he just, he didn't want to be in a relationship, and I could let it go. I was like, I will do whatever it takes,

Scott Benner 1:18:26
because you thought he was the only chance.

Amy 1:18:29
Yes, and I really did care about him. I mean, I still do in a slight way. But I just, it was so difficult. And I would, I wouldn't, I refuse to let it go. And I was like, I will just I'm going to do whatever it takes. So you know, fast forward a little bit later, he gets a job offer out of state. And so I was like, I'll do whatever it takes to help you move and whatever. And so I ended up helping him pack and cleaning as I cleaned his apartment, he stored stuff at my apartment and the last gave him money, a good summer money and wasn't the first time I had lent him money either. And so then at that point, I ended up taking a vacation drove to Utah. So it was 15 hours away and had a trailer with his stuff in it dropped it off at his place. She you know was there for a little bit and at one point I said if I were to move here could even not living with you. Could we make this work out like I go I would do anything for you. I would give you if you needed my kidney I'd give you my kidney. Like and then he goes you know, I just can't be in relationships.

Scott Benner 1:19:57
Yeah, but that's not I mean, it doesn't sound like that's the whole thing. Sounds like he's just they just continue to use you. That's all.

Amy 1:20:03
Like it's Yeah. And so

Scott Benner 1:20:05
yeah, yeah, well, I would bet because it really does. I'm gonna go back to this again, it sounds like and I don't mean this in an insulting way. It sounds like I'm being told a story by an 18 year old girl who's going out with a 40 year old guy. And like you're having all that angst, the like problems that you would have is because this was your first time. Yeah, yeah. And no one around you live through these sorts of things, either. So no one could just say that to you like me stop, go beat a different boy. And try again. You don't I mean? Oh, and

Amy 1:20:38
they didn't even know I kept it secret here. So

Scott Benner 1:20:41
on top of Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. So So when he says no, when you're out in Utah, that doesn't go well, right?

Amy 1:20:49
No, I made him dinner, and cleaned his apartment. Cuz, you know, just keep giving, it's the gift that keeps on giving me

Scott Benner 1:20:58
I want to tell you something. If you took me to Lake Tahoe, I'd be way nicer to you. That just seems decent. So even after Wow, you realize you're not okay, then. When do you when do you realize when do you know I had

Amy 1:21:19
known this for since I left that since I walked away from like the church family and my friends I had known things weren't good. And in 2020, I started self harming because I was just like, I can't, like I have so much like pent up, not rage. But like, so much stuff going on. I just couldn't handle it. And I was watching a romance movie, which I really don't enjoy any more. And I ended up getting a razor blade and cutting myself. And it was like a relief like, okay, like, and then I continued to do that. And you know, and it progressively got worse and worse, like it was in the winter. And so I was like, keeping my arms covered. And I did it in an area where everyone could see if I didn't have if I had a t shirt on. So it was like, you know, stupid. Well, if I was trying to keep it a secret.

Scott Benner 1:22:21
So I've had that explained to me in the past. Like there's the tiny release, right when you when you harm yourself, but it doesn't last long enough to be valuable. So you have to do it again to get the release again. Okay, yeah. And, okay, is there any point because now you're by yourself that you're doing this, right? Yeah. So how do you get the help?

Amy 1:22:41
I took it took a while, I think I was at that point, too. I was working seven days a week, like I was just like, throw yourself into work at least, like do something profitable with your time. So I had, I wasn't making friends, like, you know, wasn't hanging out with people or going out and partying or going to bars or anything I just was working and working. And you know, had a few friends that I had made. I had worked in a car with a general contractor in town restoration, fire and water damage restoration and had friends from there. And so I did have people and the couple that took me in are two of the most amazing people, Fred and Linda. And they are just they were rocks when I needed them like a second their second parents to me. And so I had her encouraging me like you're doing good, just keep keep doing the work. Like this relationship isn't really working out. So she was kind of telling me things that my parents had been telling me all along, but I couldn't hear. And so the cutting continued that that did continue into even when I met my boyfriend that I'm with now. Like I was still doing it and he was like a mate. We gotta stop this. We got to figure something out for this. And it's gotten better. I so I ended up after the whole thing. I drove back from Utah. I cried the entire drive home and got back home, went to work the next day, you know, and told everybody what happened at work just like this is what happened. And they're like, Amy, you're better off like you need to close that door. And so I went for a year without contact. And that in itself was a really big deal for me, like that showed me showed myself like, you can do this, like you can get past this. And through our work. We have this therapy online therapy thing and so I ended up signing up for it and met this wonderful woman who is based in Reno and was doing sessions with her once a week and that was just so helpful because it was someone who was not attached. It didn't just like hate my ex's guts, because of the way he treated me but someone that I could talk through how I was feeling and you know, the feeling like, I'm not enough. And you know, it. It just it opened doors that I was like, Oh, I never thought of that, like, oh, that people pleasing. Oh, I've been doing that for so long or caring so much about what others think odd. That is, that's from my past. And so that therapy just kind of was like,

Scott Benner 1:25:42
Yeah, saying things out loud is helpful, especially if you grew up pretending everything was always perfect, then, I mean, because it isn't like nothing's perfect. So you're pretending if you're acting like it is, and then you don't know how to cope with like, no sadness, emotional pain, when you get mad or stressed out or anything like that. You have no coping skills. Really? Yeah. And then yeah, and then you get put in this situation with this guy. And you have nothing but a need for those coping skills. And you have absolutely none of them. Yeah. And then that spirals, right?

Amy 1:26:12
Yes. And it was hard for me to think I did talk to my therapist about my relationship with my parents, because I love my mom and dad, and they've been so supportive. And like, Amy, anything that you need, we are there for you. Whether that's, you know, your therapy, your diabetes stuff, you're just like, we're here, we're what we want to support you, we want you to keep living. And it's so hard because I walked away from something that I had grown up in my whole life, and it was basically kind of a little bit of like an fu to them. Like I'm done. I'm out. And so it made it. It has made it hard for me knowing like, I know, my parents care. I know they love me. I know. But like, did I drive a wedge? Did I? You know, and they would say no, you haven't like we love you. I know what my mom and dad would say, but I still just have this like, I'm not fully like, their family is the church. And I'm not a part of that. So I'm not a part of their family.

Scott Benner 1:27:18
Yeah, I think maybe I mean, from my perspective, what, what seems like it would hurt to me is that they created a world that you don't fit in well, like, that's not good. I, you know, you could make the case that they drove the wedge by doing that not on purpose. You know what I mean? Like, you're just rescuing yourself from it. Yeah, honestly. I mean, I listen, I don't care how people worship or what I have. No, but I mean, you're telling a story of a scenario where you just don't fit, like, at all. And and it retarded a lot about your growth. You know, like you didn't, you didn't meet people outside of that bubble. So you didn't have like dating experiences until you were older. You don't know how to cope with things because you weren't put in those situations. You're pretending everything's okay. All the time, which obviously, it can't be, like, you know, I think the only I think the most sane thing that you've described is leaving that situation.

Amy 1:28:15
Yeah. And it's difficult to because there are a lot of good things that came out of it. I have a really good work ethic driven. I really enjoy just helping people and serving and giving and, but I did have to stop and go. I am so willing to give and do anything for anyone else. But I'm not doing that for myself. Right? Yeah, you're not helping me. I feel like I don't deserve it.

Scott Benner 1:28:39
Right. And you could have put that effort into yourself for sure. And you obviously deserve it. So yeah, I don't know it just to me. It sounds like it sounds like you were in a situation that was pushing you in this direction. And you know, I understand why it was so hard to stop doing it. Yeah. So where are you? How old are you now? You're 35 a lot yeah, this is fairly recent. All it's so recent. Yeah. Wow. It's so weird. Because it's and I don't mean this like I know you don't take it this way. But I don't mean it in an insulting Wait, like part of it sounds like a story like seriously, like a 20 year old but tell me, like, I met a guy and this happened. He took advantage of me and I didn't know any better and but you know, like, like that stuff. Except? Well, is that hard? Like to feel like you? Yeah,

Amy 1:29:28
but yeah, it is. I mean, I've I've grown I've grown a lot last year, even the last year, year and a half, but it is difficult because it's like now and then you're coming into an environment where you're like, I am a newbie I'm, I'm in my 30s but I was like nothing, no coping skills for these situations. You know, and so that that was difficult.

Scott Benner 1:29:54
Yeah, no kidding. So did you find somebody who knows that life? You're dating him? or is it somebody outside of it who's just like a, like such a decent person that they're willing to help you?

Amy 1:30:06
So I am no longer I, when I left the church, I didn't go back. So I have never been back in the last since 2019. I am very close with my parents still, I visit them all the time. But I just, I guess their shame in it because I left the way it did and all the things that led up to it. So I I walked away from everyone I knew. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 1:30:37
I say who cares? Like, seriously? Like, I mean, I mean, if you're gonna feel shame, I can't stop you. But you shouldn't. Yeah, I mean, like, There's nothing. There's nothing. There's it's the opposite of that. It's you should. It's laudable that you did that. I mean, that's a hard thing. Also, we're not saying it, but your parents not

Scott Benner 1:30:55
guilting you about it is also very kind. Yes. Like, they just let you do it. Right. They did. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't give you crap about it, or try to make you feel bad or tried to bring you back that's really loving to. Yeah, I think what it indicates to me is that they didn't. I think that world they set up for themselves really works well for them. And it sounds like they were like, it doesn't work for me. So okay, good. Don't let her go do what works for her.

Amy 1:31:21
Yeah, I mean, I think it worked until it didn't. And that's like, kind of weird. And like, I don't know how to explain that better than that. But like, mine,

Speaker 1 1:31:30
was it is you're younger, and you weren't having interpersonal relationships with people and you weren't, like acting on sexual feelings. And like you don't I mean, like you weren't doing, you know, you weren't doing all the things you were like a, like a half version of a person. But you were doing some of the stuff, you know. Yeah, I get that. But yeah, I mean, so. I mean, look, I can't help you. But you should. You should. I shouldn't tell you, but you shouldn't feel bad about that. Thank you. So you should be, you should be proud of yourself, honestly. You know,

Amy 1:32:03
I'm getting to that point where I'm like, Okay, I'm, I survived. Yeah, I've made it this far.

Scott Benner 1:32:10
It's it. It doesn't even sound like is anything, like bad that you were running from it other than a place where you just didn't fit? Well. Yeah. And you were trapped there because of the insulated nature of how they have it set up. Yep. I got you. Okay, well, good for you. Congratulations. You're not still Are you still cutting now?

Amy 1:32:32
I self harmed a couple months back. I was burning. I would take a cigarette lighter and heat up a bobby pin, just sear myself. I am trying not to do that. It's gotten less and less over the last, you know, I mean, once in the last eight months. if not longer, you look back

Scott Benner 1:32:57
and see what precipitated that. Was it something super stressful? Or?

Amy 1:33:02
Yeah, there was like a couple situations that came up. And I was just like ignited stuff from the past.

Scott Benner 1:33:12
So but otherwise, talk therapy helps with that.

Amy 1:33:15
It does. I just I have some really good friends. I also have my boyfriend who's probably it's funny, because he has names. And he's everything that I wanted. Oops, you're gonna bleep that out. I wanted him to be right. And that's what it's to me. And so

Scott Benner 1:33:39
I'm yeah, I'm excited for you. I think that's wonderful. Yeah.

Amy 1:33:42
We met on our first date, because I was like, I actually had a ticket to Austin because I was planning on relocating. And I'm like, get me out of here. I don't care where I go. I visited Colorado Springs, I was gonna go to Austin, Texas. And I had the ticket. And we met and went on our first date. And then I was like, Dad, I don't know if I want to go Ross.

Scott Benner 1:34:06
Want a refund on my plane ticket.

Amy 1:34:09
And so he's like, Amy, you can do that later in the month or late later in the year. Like, why don't you see how this works out. And so we met and on my date. I told him I was still in love with my ex. So I was like, I gotta I gotta lay the cookies out here like you got to know everything because you might want to walk away really fast.

Scott Benner 1:34:33
Are you were you trying to sabotage with you think or do you want to test them?

Amy 1:34:39
I think I just wanted him to know everything. I was like, I went through a relationship where I held back so much of my feelings. I was like, I'm putting it all out on the table. I told him about the self harm. I told him about the suicide attempts. This is like a first date and I was just like, I'm not built my way through this and like waiting for dates in and being like, oh, btw,

Scott Benner 1:35:04
I'm trying. I'm imagining you unloading this stuff. He's still taking off his jacket. And you're like wondering where the waitress is. Waiting jig. What are nachos coming? And then I did this. And he's just

Amy 1:35:21
like, oh God. And so he ended up. So he ended up coming over, we hooked up. And he legitimately like never left. So I went from one relationship. And if there was time in between into this next one, but it clicked, something was different, right? And if I if our first date hadn't gone the way it did, I probably would have just gone. Like, okay, cool. That was a great day like we're done. But just the kindness of he's so thoughtful. He's sat with me on the kitchen floor when I've been bawling my eyes out like he's just there for me. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:36:09
Maybe put your microphone down like a half an inch. Also, and we've skirted around it, but you're pretty Hornitos. So

my mom and dad are gonna they heard it, too. We all heard it. You're trying to pack in 10 years worth of, you know, missed opportunities. Which I don't blame you for. I'm thinking. That's a damn good idea. That's hilarious. So you got him. And now you How long have you guys been together?

Amy 1:36:44
Though? We have been together January 15 was a complete year. So it's a little over a year. And it's funny because he was like, Oh, I knew I wanted to marry you on the first day. I was like, Whoa, dude, I told you I love my ex still.

Scott Benner 1:37:00
Also, make sure you didn't miss that red flag. You want to look into him a little closer.

Amy 1:37:07
Like to soon and he's like, No, I could see who you are as a person.

Scott Benner 1:37:13
Oh, that's lovely. That's good. Very nice. Okay, well, I guess I'm just going to finish up by asking you. What, what is the dream? What is the dream you had about me? Oh.

Amy 1:37:27
So I had, this is so weird. This is like all everything compiled. So we were at my old church. I was there. You were there, too. And we were together. And we were talking. And you were like asking me about past stuff. But then you're like, No, I can see myself dating you. And I was like, I don't know.

I'm like, Okay, and so we went to tea, and we have tea. And then I ended up waking up and was just like, What in the actual heck was that?

Scott Benner 1:38:08
You and I had tea together? We had tea together. It's nice. So it was lovely. Tea for Two or other other people there.

Amy 1:38:16
There was a whole group of people, but we were like at the table talking.

Scott Benner 1:38:20
Yeah. Do you know what you're talking about?

Amy 1:38:22
I have no idea. I

Scott Benner 1:38:23
do. It's hilarious. All right. Well, I'm glad it wasn't like, weird. That's fine. I'm okay with us having tea in your drink? Oh, my God. I thank you very much for sharing this. Like it comes at a an interesting and strange time. Because tomorrow, there'll be an episode coming out with me and Erica about a discussion about suicidal ideation. Like being able to like recognize it, and help people. Because I, I went, I don't know how to say this. I almost said I went through, but that's not right. I had an experience a few months ago where a listener committed suicide. And that I had connection with their family for a little bit. And it made me want to do this episode to tell people what to look for. Do you think if people would have known what to look for? Could they have seen linear? Were you withdrawing like that kind of stuff?

Amy 1:39:20
Yes, but I was hiding stuff so well, like my mom and dad knew stuff was going on. But they didn't know how. How bad it had gotten. Yeah, they were worried. My mom. My mom called it suicide watch. She's like, I'm been on suicide watch for the last like, however long but they I think they knew. I don't think they knew how bad it was. I just I didn't I didn't want anyone to know I wanted it to be an accident. Or booboo. My cat's

Scott Benner 1:39:56
gonna say you're talking to a cat right? Yeah, yes. Uh, well, yeah, I just it's just been. I don't know, it's been it's been weird talking about this this stuff because again like you are now you're not even the first person that's told me that they've given themselves too much insulin. And and I'm, you know I've made this point in the past but I was just the guy who was like, well I'm gonna make a podcast about diabetes. So people like know how to like, you know Bolus three Bolus? Yeah. So things have gotten beyond what I expected. And I elated quickly, yeah, I always feel really grateful that people are willing to tell stories like this, because I know how much it helps other people when they hear it. And in ways you don't even expect, you know, like, it'll help parents to look out for things that will help adults say, like, oh, I maybe I should be looking into this for myself, and, and all other different kinds of ways. And plus, it just, I don't know, it just gives me more of a perspective on the outside, it gives me this podcast gives me what you didn't have growing up, which is a look into how a lot of other people do things. Yeah, you know. So I feel like

Amy 1:41:07
that's been, I'm just, I'm so thankful for you. And I be able to have something that I'm like, oh, there's someone else out there that's struggling as badly as I have been. And I'm just so grateful for you, for Jenny for my mom and dad. And these people that had taken the time to stop. Whether it was a podcast or Jenny listening to me, my, my dad pains. So I can see Jenny. And just knowing that there's other people out there that are struggling, and like, Oh, I've listened to so many episodes and gone like, Oh, I wish I could talk to talk to that person. Like, oh, I wish that like, you know, I could tell them this. And I think that's the biggest thing I've seen with your podcast is it draws people together. It just, it's a connection. And like, we're humans, and we fail, and we need help. And this, your podcast is just a platform for that. And I'm just I wanted to say thank you.

Scott Benner 1:42:14
You're very welcome. Thank you for saying that I just think of it is. You know, it's a way for people not to feel isolated. Oh, yeah, on so many different levels. And like you said, to have a connection to things you just don't have a personal connection to your, your example is just so almost cartoonish about how like, like, you know, insulated you were, but everyone's insulated to some degree or another, you know, you just, you don't think of it that way. But you're like he's become an adult, you get up and you go to work and you come home and you hit a routine and forget out you're not seeing people very often and just at work and it can happen kind of quickly, and you might not even notice it. So anyway, yeah, I really, I really do appreciate you sharing this with everybody. Thank you. Thank you. I want to start by thanking Amy for sharing that difficult story with us. And I also want to thank Omni pod. Don't forget to check out the Omni pod five, where the Omni pod dash at Omni pod.com forward slash fuse box and I think you can even take them for a test drive. Go check it out. Let's thank Dexcom makers the Dexcom G six and Dexcom G seven continuous glucose monitoring systems, you can wear the Dexcom G seven just like Arden dexcom.com forward slash juice box. There are links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com to Dexcom Omni pod and to all the sponsors when you click on those links, we were supporting the production of the podcast and making it so we can hear more stories like Amy's.

Once there was a time when I just told people if you want a low and stable a one C just listen to the Juicebox Podcast. But as the years went on, and the podcast episodes grew, it became more and more difficult for people to listen to everyone. So I made the diabetes Pro Tip series. This series is with me and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist. She is also a registered and licensed dietitian and a type one herself for over 30 years and I of course am the father of a child who was diagnosed at age two in 2006. The Pro Tip series begins at episode 210 with an episode called newly diagnosed are starting over and from there all about MDI Pre-Bolus Singh insulin pumping, pumping and nudging variables exercise illness, injury surgeries glucagon long term health bumping and nudging how to explain type one to your family. Postpartum honeymoon transitioning all about insulin Temp Basal. These are all different episodes setting your base insulin, fat and protein pregnancy, the glycemic index and load, and so much more like female hormones and weight loss. Head now to juicebox podcast.com. Go up in the menu at the top, and click on diabetes pro tip. Or if you're in the private Facebook group, there's a list of these episodes right in the feature tab. Find out how I helped keep my daughter's a one C between five two and six two for the last 10 years without diet restrictions. juicebox podcast.com Start listening today. It's absolutely free. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. You know what else there's a ton more of these after dark episodes. You can go check them out as well. Look in the private Facebook group under the feature tab for a full list or you can go to juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and you'll see after dark