#1639 Heavy - Part 2
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B is the mom of a T1D son who was diagnosed at 16 months. He is currently 2 and they are about 9 months into managing diabetes. Part 2 of 2.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox podcast.
This is part two of a two part episode. Go look at the title if you don't recognize it. You haven't heard part one yet. It's probably the episode right before this in your podcast player, I am here to tell you about juice cruise 2026 we will be departing from Miami on June 21 2026 for a seven night trip going to the Caribbean. That's right, we're going to leave Miami and then stop at Coco k in the Bahamas. After that, it's on to St Kitts, St Thomas and a beautiful cruise through the Virgin Islands. The first juice Cruise was awesome. The second one's going to be bigger, better and bolder. This is your opportunity to relax while making lifelong friends who have type one diabetes, expand your community and your knowledge on juice cruise 2026 learn more right now at Juicebox podcast.com/juice. Cruise. At that link, you'll also find photographs from the first cruise. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan.
This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g7 the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by Omnipod five. Omnipod five is a tube, free, automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a 1c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections. Learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox of my link, you can get a free starter kit right now. Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox Yeah, all right, let's all jump out a window together. It'll be
B 2:17
nice. Well, not today, not
Scott Benner 2:19
today. We're gonna go one more day b i like it, one more day,
B 2:22
one more day, one day at a time. Yeah. So I the way, I guess I look at it is I know I'm gonna have to give him full control at some point. So I'm taking it on myself try to manage it as well as I can at this point. So when it's my when it's his turn, he's not starting from just over, you know, just over the hill of of a complication, like, no, no. Mom gave me a really, really good foundation. And so whatever happens here is, you know, up to me. I don't know if that's the way he's going to see it, but that's in my mind. What I'm trying to do is just trying to set him up for a firm foundation. So if he does want to f off a little bit because he doesn't care for a minute, it's not going to completely ruin him, because he had great a one season and great management while he was growing up and as a child, so he actually can do a little bit of whatever he wants to do until he gets old enough to realize I should probably care a little bit more about my health. That's in my perfect world, how I see it.
Scott Benner 3:32
You can't really bank health for later, but sure, I take your point. I've done the same thing. Martin's very adept at taking care of herself. You know, I would say that she's doing a terrific job of managing everything, like there's hiccups along the way and stuff like that. I think that an expectation has been set a long time ago, and she doesn't meet it the way I met it, but she's very close. I've never seen Arden ignore diabetes, ever and like that. In and of itself, I think is a major win. She's not going to ignore it. I don't think she always wants to be involved in it. I think there are times when it's like, oh my god, I can't believe I gotta change this device again, or that this isn't going well, or whatnot. Like, I'm not gonna say it's like, clear sailing the whole time, most of the times, awesome. And when push comes to shove, she won't ignore it. And I think even if it never gets any better than that, I think that's a really great job by us and by her, I'd look at that as a win. Yeah, yeah, for sure. The other stuff is just like, where it really is tough, and I don't know how to manage this at all. I'm not good at it in the moment, but you spend so much time being in a relationship where there's a thing that has to happen, you're the one facilitating it or saying it, they're the one capitulating and that that I don't think that's a great way to grow up, because around the diabetes, there's never really been an ability for. For everybody to just not pay attention to it for three weeks, you know? And so
B 5:04
it's less unless you want to end up in the ER, there's
Scott Benner 5:07
the possibility there of implications later. Because, I mean, it's almost like, you know, I I've said before, like every Catholic girl I knew grew or cut their hair when they graduated from high school, you know what I mean? When we were growing up, you knew if you wanted to fool around with girls and have a great time, you'd go to the Catholic girls because, because they were so busy being repressed by the people that that raised them, once they got free, yeah, once they got free, they were like, you know, they were a party. I wasn't
B 5:37
Catholic, but I I definitely grew up in a religious household. Not so much at this point anymore, but trust me, I know exactly what you
Scott Benner 5:46
mean, yeah, and so I think the same thing about the diabetes is, like, you're just going along as the parent doing a good job, and the kids cool with it, because kids don't really fight back in those situations. But at some point they're going to get to the part where they're like, I have to plant my flag in the ground and become a human being. Like, I have to be a real adult right here, so I need to go find something and rebel against it. And what is it? What happens when it's this? Pick something else? Like, that's my point. Like, you don't know if that's gonna happen or not, but if it does, trust me, you gotta know what to do. No book about that. I haven't made a podcast episode yet that's going to help you through that one. Okay, I don't know what the answer is. Do you think that
B 6:28
kids need to, especially if they grow up with diabetes so young that they need to be in some type of therapy about it, and even if it's with the parents, or maybe not without, without the parents, so they can just talk about how annoyed they are about these things. What do you what do you think about that?
Scott Benner 6:44
I mean, I don't know how valuable or not it would be. I think it's person to person, but if it would be valuable to you than it is, I think that it would be great. I would be open to doing that with Arden right now, because I imagine we have that relationship where it just feels like I've been telling her what to do her whole life. I didn't want that like I wish you could have gone and found me when I was 25 and said to me, Hey, you know, would you be super excited to learn a lot about type one diabetes and talk to a kid about it every day? And I wouldn't have been. I don't want that at all. I like that. The podcast helps people, but, but
B 7:18
you hate that your daughter had to get it so that could lead you down that road.
Scott Benner 7:21
Like, yeah, you know, I spent the last couple of weeks around a lot of people. I went to friends for life, and I did this cruise with a bunch of listeners. And both were really, like, fulfilling, like, and they were just, they were lovely experiences, both of them,
B 7:37
but you also, in the back of your mind, just wish that you didn't have to have that experience, because that therefore means that your child too, but you don't make me cry, but I don't. I This isn't who I want to be either. You know,
Scott Benner 7:52
like, this isn't what I want to do. I don't want to be the guy that does this. Yes, sucks. Yeah, you take the high side of it, it's helped so many people, and I've grown as a person. And Arden's, you know, has awesome health because of it. And, I mean, there's a lot of positive to it, but, you know, you go, let me take a magic wand and make my perfect life. I'm not a, not a fcking podcaster about my kids illness or anybody's illness. I don't want to be involved this every day, you know, but you don't that's not how life works. You don't get to pick what happens to you. You get to pick how you respond to it. And I think my response has been really positive, and it lifts me up, and I hope it lifts everyone else up. And I think one day, I do really believe that one day, I'll probably be long dead, and I think Arden will probably listen to every word of all this, and she'll probably recognize her life in it, and hopefully it'll serve as a an explanation to her for why these things happened. And you know that, you know I'm just the guy, like, I'm not really, not really someone's dad. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a guy. I met a girl. She was cute. I don't know what happened. Then there was a baby, you know what I mean, but this is what it is, and here we are. So I'm trying to make the best out of it, and I don't do I don't always do a great job of it, so and she doesn't either. By the way, she could be a lot easier than she is. Sometimes, if she didn't have diabetes, we'd just be having that conversation about something else that's the truth. Yeah, something else that, like didn't kill you though, something else that wouldn't impact your health. Hopefully. I mean, listen, knock on wood, like plenty of people listening right now, dealing with children who are, you know, shooting heroin every day and they knock you over in the mall to get diabetes instead of that. I don't know that. It's not that for everybody on some level. It's just, I think the levels are different and the outcomes are the possible outcomes are less severe for some things. But trust me, we are all having an interaction with our parents right now, or as. Parents that is following this exact same path. It's just the details are a little different. This is the crux of human parenting right here. That's why, eventually your mom says to you, I hope you have a kid one day and they're just like you.
B 10:15
I was a great kid, though, such a rule follower.
Scott Benner 10:19
I'm sure your mom don't think that about everything. By the way, it's not that your mom wishes that you have some difficult child, or that she even thinks you're difficult. She just wants you to know what she's been going through and it's hard and that she's trying. And when you tell that to your children, it's meaningless to them, because I've tried that. I've tried the path of like, Look, let me just talk to you like you're an adult and I'm an adult, and explain to you that I'm just a person doing the best I can here, and I don't get it right all the time, but I have really great intentions, and if you could just be a little more understanding, but I know why you're not, and all we got to do is live till you're 30 and you're gonna see but none of that helps in The moment. You know what I mean? Like, I do believe it's true. I do think we'll wake up one day and just like I went to my mom and said, I don't know why I made you cancel that party, and I have felt terrible about it my whole life, and I apologize, she still lived with it between the day I did it and the day I said it, and beyond. And I guess one day my son's gonna come to me and say, hey, you know some stuff I thought you were an asshole about, but I see it now, and I'm sorry, and Arden's gonna come to me and say, hey, you know that year that I argued with you about taking my thyroid meds. And like, you know that stuff? Like, I see how difficult that was, and I'm really sorry, and I know you were trying to help me, but I still feel terrible today, and I feel all the things that we're talking about here, knowing that she's a really great person, and this is all going to work out okay. Because I genuinely believe that everything's going to work out great. Doesn't make all this part like feel less, whatever this feels like exactly some days, and less heavy. Yeah, heavy is a good word.
B 12:01
I don't it wasn't what I envisioned it would be, but the conversation has been a little more heavy and reflective and like, I don't know what I would do in that situation. I hope this doesn't happen or, yeah, it's definitely been very reflective for me, and it does weigh a bit, yeah, for sure. So yeah, I like, I like to have
Scott Benner 12:23
it good. Well, B, I'll tell you what. Here's a secret about making a podcast is you get however I feel the day that we do it, like, that's the thing. It's all just following me, like, I'm pulling the conversation. If, if you and I jumped on two days from now, it would go a completely different way. Sometimes it's about people's voices, like sometimes people's voices impact me differently. There's an episode up today. I don't know what it's called. There's a woman on it who's who sounds like a person I know, and she has the same first name, and I ended up talking to her differently than I would have if she just sounded differently. It's interesting, and some days I'm goofy and stupid, and the episodes go that way. And some days I'm sad about my kid having diabetes like I am today, and it goes this way. And I'm very reflective right now because I've spent so much time with adults and caregivers with type one in person over the last couple of weeks, you would have got me after a vacation, we would have said some stupid and been laughing the whole time. So I'm sorry if it got weird for you. Today's episode is brought to you by Omnipod. We talk a lot about ways to lower your a 1c on this podcast, did you know that the Omnipod five was shown to lower a 1c that's right. Omnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system, and it was shown to significantly improve a 1c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they switched from daily injections. My daughter is about to turn 21 years old, and she has been wearing an Omnipod every day since she was four. It has been a friend to our family, and I think it could be a friend to yours. If you're ready to try Omnipod five for yourself or your family, use my link now to get started omnipod.com/juicebox get that free. Omnipod five Starter Kit today. Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at Omnipod comm slash Juicebox. You can manage diabetes confidently with the powerfully simple Dexcom g7 dexcom.com/juicebox the Dexcom g7 is the CGM that my daughter is wearing. The g7 is a simple CGM system that delivers real time glucose numbers to your smartphone or smart watch. The g7 is made for all types of diabetes, type one and type two, but also people experiencing gestational diabetes. The Dexcom g7 can help you spend more. Time in range, which is proven to lower a 1c The more time you spend in range, the better and healthier you feel. And with the Dexcom clarity app, you can track your glucose trends, and the app will also provide you with a projected a 1c in as little as two weeks. If you're looking for clarity around your diabetes, you're looking for Dexcom, dexcom.com/juicebox, when you use my link, you're supporting the podcast, dexcom.com/juicebox head over there.
B 15:29
Now. No, no, it wasn't weird at all. Um, if this was apparently the what we needed to talk about and what whoever is going to listen needed to hear. So I am fine with the way that it went. Oh, I
Scott Benner 15:42
hope. I'm very hopeful that that's right. Thank you. I really don't know how to wrap my head around it, but I'll tell you a story instead. Okay, so I go to friends for life for the very first time. It's a couple 1000 people there. They're everywhere. It's crazy. There's an entire convention center overtaken by friends for life, not like some of it, or a wing of it, or a couple of rooms the entire place, like it's Disney's, it's a Coronado Springs. Maybe, I'm not sure exactly the name of the hotel. I was only there for a week. People everywhere, adults, kids, parents, siblings, vendors, companies, you know, like people you would think of as being cold and selling devices, but you sit and talk to them in a corner, a lot of them have type one diabetes, too, and a lot of them are really touched by all this. There's a lot of emotion going on, but everybody at that hotel, I am not lying to you, is wearing a CGM or a pump. It's just it's everywhere, and the thing ends on Friday afternoon. My wife and I stay an extra day before we fly home, because we really never go on vacation. So we're not, you know, like, what are we going to do? We're, you know, we're adults. Like, we talked about going on a couple of rides, but it was super hot. My wife's like, listen, perfect day for me. We sleep in, get up, sit at the pool, go to dinner. And I was like, right on where it's sitting at the pool, and this gentleman comes up and sits in the chaise lounge to my left. So it's me, then Kelly, then a little space, then this gentleman sitting there, Andrew came over from one of the patch companies that a guy's been on the show before he makes over patches for his stuff. And we were chatting for a while, and I guess that guy probably overheard enough of that conversation that he turned to us and said, Hey, was there something going on at this hotel this week? And my wife laughed and told him, like, oh yeah, there was this giant convention here for people who have type one diabetes, and it's over now. So there's still some people here, but that's what you were seeing. So I've been here a couple days, and I thought I saw a lot of insulin pumps and stuff like that, and he pulls up his shirt or moves his towel or something, and he's wearing a CGM, and he says, I have type one diabetes. And I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, you're at this hotel during this conference, sitting next to me, and you have type one, but you're not here for friends, for life. He wasn't there for it. He'd never heard of it. He doesn't know what it is. He doesn't know what I do for a living, right? So we chat a little longer. His wife is in the pool, like you know, at the side. We're all in a little circle, the four of us, and he says, Why were you guys here? And we told him, and his wife looks at me and says, What's the podcast called? And I said, Juicebox. And she gets all lit up, and she goes, my mom also has type one diabetes. She listens to your podcast. Oh, wow. Now, if it wasn't for friends for life, and I was still there, I would have been sitting next to somebody who has type one never known it because he was wearing one of those long shirts, and sitting next to a woman whose mother listens to my podcast, and I would have never known it. And we chatted for a half an hour, and he talked about wanting to do better for himself, and I told him about the Pro Tip series, and talked him through a little bit about what to do, and asked him a little bit if he ever considered taking his kid to trial net. And just, we just talked for a while, and maybe I'm wrong, because Arden tells me I'm wrong all the time, but so does Cole, and everyone tells me I'm wrong all the time, but I watched him make a decision to do better for himself. I watched it happen in his eyes, and I believe it's gonna happen for himself, not that he was doing poorly, but that he wanted to tighten things up. Last night, a woman popped into the Facebook group to tell me that I met her daughter and her son in law at the pool, and turns out she's not just a listener, but she's in the Facebook group, and that's crazy. First of all that I randomly sat down next to somebody who had no idea why anybody was there and ends up listening to my podcast like that's the thing I can't wrap my head. Around like I if that happened to the all of you, it would freak you out. Just trust me, it freaks me out, even though I know how many people are listening like the idea that me this dumb guy who's figured out how to buy a microphone and talk about this stuff, that I could be walking through the world next to somebody who, if I turned to them and said, Hey, that I could be walking through the world, and could turn to a group of people and go, Hello, friends, and one of them would look back at me and go, Oh my God, you're the guy from that podcast. Like, that's a mind. Be like, you have no idea, okay, that I think it's gonna help him, and that it's already helping his mom, and that I can't actually process any of that. I don't think I'm ever going to actually. It's a bigger thing that, you know, our kids are going to grow up with social media and their friends talking into their phones and everything. But I didn't grow up that way, and this is all weird to me, and it still is. So anyway, I don't know what the point of that is, but I just figured I had to tell somebody. So I'm telling you, that's the thing that happened on Saturday. There are days when I think like, it's crazy that I'm going to help all of these people, but the one person who like, I really want to help is the person who is set up by nature to think I don't know what I'm talking about. Isn't that crazy? So that she can pull away and be her own adult and go live her own life. Like, I understand how the progression works. It works the same way for everybody. But so back to your original point. Like, I don't know if Mr. Rogers kids thought he was a good guy or not, but you know, I'm working on it. Like, hopefully one day, hopefully one day they woke up and said that, Mr. Rogers guy was sorry. Did he really have kids that didn't like him? Where'd you hear that from?
B 21:49
Of course, the internet. Like, so, you know, I have to take that with a grain of salt. I'm not 100% sure that that's true, but when he passed a couple years ago, I remember that kind of coming out, but that's
Scott Benner 22:01
probably what's gonna happen. I mean, you know, you guys will all be running around with five, five, a, one, CS, and my daughter will be the one struggling, right? So I hope not, but I don't know.
B 22:13
No, you said that Arden, you know, is able to take care of herself. She'll, she'll get there. I mean, she's young. She's 21 they're gonna go through. You went through a phase of wanting the F off, and eventually you got your stuff together so she'll remember, she'll remember all the solid foundation that you have instilled in her, and she's gonna want to do that, even if it's, I don't know if she wants kids herself at some point, but a lot of times, having kids yourself, it should have figured out, because you're like, oh, I need to be here for my kid. So maybe that's the thing. I don't know, but I would, I wouldn't, I wouldn't worry.
Scott Benner 22:53
Yeah, I'm, oh, listen, I have to tell you. Like, generally speaking, I am not worried. And I really appreciate what you just said. I really do. I just, it's, like, I said earlier, like, it's still hard in the moment. Like, I'm not worried, but it's, you can't just be blase about it. You know what I mean? Like, I think that's what they mean when they they say, once you're a parent, you worry every day and it doesn't stop. Like, I think that's the thing. Like, I think I have mom guilt, you know what I mean? Yeah, and all the other stuff.
B 23:21
37 years old, and my mom is still like, why are you going over here? So I went to a event at touch by type one on last Sunday, because I just decided, like, I finally need some community around diabetes. I feel like I was doing it as, you know, an island, like nobody understands what I'm doing, what I'm going through. So I just went to this mom's Night Out event, and it was at 7pm and we live about an hour away, and my mom is like, wait, no, no, so you're gonna go over that night and then come back in the dark. I'm like, Mom, I'm like, almost 40 years old. I think I can drive myself there and get back
Scott Benner 23:58
your mom's like, you can't be driving at night. This is ridiculous,
B 24:02
yeah? Like, well, just because you don't like to drive at night, mom doesn't mean that I can't do it. So, yeah, I don't, I don't think you and I know, especially with my kid having the diabetes, I don't know how I'm gonna not worry about him until he's 97 and I've been dead for, you know, 30 years.
Scott Benner 24:24
Yeah, no. I mean, I watched it with my mom, like she got older and older and older and just kept worrying about us and like, you know, and you and I was pushing back against it as an adult, like, Mom, we're okay, don't worry about it. Like, even with your mom last night, you know, also, people should go to touch by type one.org. They have a lot of great stuff for people. The moms Night Out is one of them. I think the right thing to do is to hug your mom and go, I am so glad that you care about me like this. Thank you. I'm going to be okay. I promise don't please try not to worry about me. But, like, it's hard, right? Because you still are, like, I'm almost 40, like Lee. Me alone. I got this, you know what I mean, and then you are going to say something like that to your son 10 years from now, and he's going to do what you did to your mom, and you're going to be like, Why is he treating me like this?
B 25:10
Well, no, don't get me wrong, I still called her once I got over there, and then I called her when I was coming back.
Scott Benner 25:16
So yeah, that's going to make me cry. Now stop
B 25:19
it. I mean, you know we're besties. She's, she's the one watching the kid now, and so, you know we, We're BFFs. We, you know, we, we were yelling at each other earlier, but still,
Scott Benner 25:30
you made me cry. God damn it.
B 25:33
No, I'm not gonna even apologize for that, because you apparently needed to cry. So you, you go ahead and
Scott Benner 25:40
do that. Oh, you tell me, Arden is gonna call me one day and say, I say I got here. Okay, I'd be all right, I'll take that. I know I need a drink now. Rob's gonna have to edit out this ice. I hope you're happy.
B 25:53
No, don't edit out. You
Scott Benner 25:55
cried. No, leaving the crying. I'd say he's gonna have to edit out the ice when I take my drink. Oh, that part, yeah, every once in a while, he sends me a text that sounds like, like, I don't know the exact words, but here's how it feels to me. Just so Rob knows it feels like, hey, dumb, why don't you stop putting ice in a metal cup and drinking it while you're making a podcast.
B 26:15
You know, I drink a couple times, and I'm like, I hope they don't hear that. I don't have ice in it, but it's definitely a, you know, stainless steel Yeti, you know, of course, everybody has to have one of those things.
Scott Benner 26:25
Well, yeah. I mean, listen, what would the world be if we all didn't own a metal cup and then still buy bother environment, you know, how do you clean those straws? Bay, they Vex.
B 26:35
They have the little they have the little straw cleaner. I gotta buy a straw cleaner too. They use like it came, it came with the pack of straws when I went about it.
Scott Benner 26:45
This is a scam developed by the man to sell us straw cleaners. I think, Doesn't this feel like this is capitalism going crazy. First, I'll give them a cup they don't need. Then I'll put a straw in it they can't wash. Then I'll sell them a way to wash the straw. I mean, you know, we gotta make some money somehow. I gotta keep this train rolling. All right, I blubbered in this one. Did I stop you from saying anything you want to say?
B 27:10
No, I, no, I, what I wanted to say was just however the conversation went. But I do want to, you know, give you your flowers to just, just add to the group of people. If you more reflective, maybe you'll shed another tear later on. Thank you. Thank you for your podcast, and thank you for sharing the different stories that you share and just being vulnerable with what you share and how you present yourself on the podcast. I really appreciate it. I learned something every podcast that I listen to, and there's something of value that I'm able to bring into my life, even if it's about diabetes or literally just parenting or something. I always get something from an episode. So I really do appreciate that this is what you have chosen to do with your life. I know this wasn't the path that you wanted to take, but you are making the best of it, and I really do appreciate all that you do.
Scott Benner 28:14
Thank you so much. That's really nice. I'm not even gonna say something stupid, because it meant a lot to me, and I am really feeling this all today.
B 28:22
Good, good, yes, yeah, nice. You know, emotional cancer season. I'm, I'm a cancer baby too. So I get it.
Scott Benner 28:29
Oh, yeah, trust me, I think if you pressed me, I wouldn't tell I tell you I don't believe in that at all. But, man, being born in July and being a cancer like I really do, like, I don't know. I just watch other people, and they're not as emotional as I am, you know, and it's hard. And Arden's, by the way, born in July, too. So, yeah, it's nice, but until we, until we get involved in something, you know, that makes us both feel emotional. And then it's, you know, the show,
B 28:56
yeah, my son wasn't born in July, but he's a Pisces, which is another, like, water sign and, oh my gosh, it's like, can be so emotional? Like, oh my gosh, kid, please.
Scott Benner 29:06
I'm gonna have to say, maybe I do believe in it, because I don't know. I watch other guys talk about stuff, and some of them are just so like, like, stoic all the time. But they seem fine. By the way, I'm fine. Like, I'm not, like, if anybody's listening to this, being like, Oh my God, this guy's unhinged. You know what I mean? Like, I'm I'm really okay. I'm not day to day. I'm not burdened by this. It's just I really feel it while it's happening. Like, it just it makes me feel a certain way. And I don't fight it off, like, just, like, let it happen. You know? I also don't go the opposite way and turn into, like, a, like a lunatic, you know, who's just like, oh my god, I can't handle any of this. I can handle it fine. I just, I want to feel it. Do you know what I mean?
B 29:43
As you should, and I'm glad that you know that you should, yeah, because we were giving them the various emotions on purpose to be
Scott Benner 29:51
able to feel them. Well, I'm using all
B 29:56
the bottle, all of that inside. I think that causes additional issues. Shootings and disease and all that. If you're, you're keeping things in, you need to get it out. Yeah, sure. It might not mean that you get it out in front of your boss at work. No, but going, you can go in your car, you know, afterwards you hold it for five minutes, and then go to a safe space, and then you, you go ahead and do what you need to do. But, yeah, yeah, my husband's always like, Oh, I cry inside. I'm like, dude, yeah,
Scott Benner 30:24
it's okay to cry outside sometimes too. I know it just made me so happy when you said you called your mom afterwards. And meeting these people, like, all week long, you know, from, you know, people telling you how valuable this has all been for them, or what it's changed for them. And, you know, telling, you know, saying, I love you to a stranger, like that kind of thing. And just like at one point on the opening night of friends for life, they open up the vendor floor, basically. And I had a booth there, and it ran for three hours. And for three solid hours, there were so many people standing in front of me that they were going across the aisle to the like, the booth on the other side was kind of like, Hey, what the hell you know what I mean? Like, because the backs of my of the people waiting in line, and I would look up, and at first I was so I felt really pressured, but I didn't want to rush the person I was speaking with, because someone was coming to say something very personal, and to thank me or to share what the podcast had done, or what the Facebook so many people talked about the Facebook group and how valuable that was for them.
B 31:28
Oh, I'm always typing something in in the Facebook group and looking for posts that relate to it all the time. So I
Scott Benner 31:35
didn't want to rush the people who were in front of me, but I was trying not to make people like wait forever. And I thought I kept a good balance of it, but I just got a note last night from somebody who said I tried over and over again for three days to come speak with you, and I could never find your table not full of people. I took a lot away from that experience. Like I really to expand on it for five more seconds. I really do just sit here making this podcast right? Like, I think about how I feel, I think about what I see you guys talking about. I try to decide how to make content that I think will help you with management. I do my best there, and I do my best to have conversations with people, to illuminate how they're feeling and what they're thinking. And hopefully you'll find some sameness in that. Like, but I do it all in a room. I'm by myself, and I don't get any feedback on it really. You know, when you do get bad feedback, it's like, once in a great while, or from a handful of people, and you're like, you know, three people this week, this month, think I'm an asshole. And, you know, 350,000
B 32:35
pay attention to it. 350,000
Scott Benner 32:38
people think that if I saw you somewhere, I'd line up and wait a half an hour just to say thank you to you. And half of you is like, Well, I'm a bad person. Like, like, because this person thinks I'm a bad person. And, I mean, like, somebody said, What was the last one that was in my that got to me? Like, made it to me. Because people, by the way, they're trying to help you, and they send you stuff, and I'm like, I don't need to see this. Thank you. That's why I don't look at it. Some woman said that I'm a cult leader. Oh, okay. And I was like, all right. But then, like, you look up and there's 75 people standing in line waiting to talk to you, and you go, like, maybe, maybe, yeah. Like, it's a nice cult, at least, yeah. But you know, it's just, it's, I don't know, it was great. And anyway, so my point should have been that sitting in this room, I only measure what I do with numbers like downloads and listen through rates and things that are like kind of cold in the way that podcasts are measured, like, what keeps me in that top 20, 3040, of my of the medicine category for seven, eight years, like, it's nude listeners, like people who have such a good experience that they tell someone else, and that person starts to listen, also has a good experience, keeps listening and eventually tells somebody else, like, that's how I measure myself. And I just walked away from this experience on the ship and at friends for life. And I told myself, I am going to start measuring my success by those people and how happy they are and how healthy they are, and not about those numbers like I am going to try to take those numbers and put them in a part of my brain. That's just the business side of this. The thing that has to happen so that more advertisers want ads so that you guys keep getting podcasts, like, that's one thing, but I gotta stop judging myself on that. Like those numbers are not who I am. I think those people's stories are who I am. If that makes sense,
B 34:33
yeah, it makes perfect sense, and I'm glad that you're going to look at it in a different way, because you are impacting so many different lives in a really good way that those numbers and those few far in between negative comments, they shouldn't matter. And another thing that I wanted to say was, or maybe even ask you, why do you. I always say, like, Oh, I'm, you know, I just have this high school diploma. Or, like, I didn't graduate this. Or, you know, this dumb guy, like, why do you, why do you do that? You know, because what you what you do, is important. All of that, how your education or not, that doesn't matter. If you have a way of being able to explain things or break things down in a way that people can understand. It's important I appreciate
Scott Benner 35:27
that I'll try to answer your question, like, as best as I understand it, as best as I understand myself, I mean, I've always just thought, like I just grew I was a fat kid growing up, and like, self deprecating humor was, like, a way around that to some degree, like, you know what I mean, and I also don't have, I don't think people will listen. Like, if I was high minded and I was coming from, like, Hey, I'm like, a, like, I'm a well educated, like, blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, like, I think people don't want that. Like, so I don't know if maybe that's maybe my way of deflecting when people are are complimenting me to some degree, and if it's also not, maybe my way of making sure that you don't feel like somebody's talking at you Sure. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't want people to feel like they're in school when they're listening. And I think it helps if you just know the truth about me, like I really I barely graduated from high school. I've taken one college course in my entire life to see if I could do it. I got an A in it, and I was like, Oh, I guess I could have done it. Then I didn't go back. I wasn't my intention to go to college. I am disappointed that I didn't go I think I would have enjoyed the person I might have been if I would have got, like, a classic education after high school. But I don't know there's something about this self deprecating humor that I think, honestly, just connects to how I looked growing up and how I felt about like that. I tried really hard through my adulthood to think of myself as my thoughts, not as my body or how I appeared. But I'll tell you this, I got off the plane on Sunday morning, and it was one of those airports where you land and get just out of the plane right there, like you go down the stairs, off the plane, onto the tarmac, and you walk inside. There was this long building with these giant plate glass windows, and I was just wearing a white sweatshirt and sweatpants, like black sweatpants, and you know, I was, you know, trying to be comfortable on the plane. And I'm walking off, I've got my backpack on, I look over because there's a cop holding, like this, like, serious looking gun. And I was like, what's that about? And it made me turn my head, look towards the building, and I saw my reflection. And for 10 steps, I watched myself walk, and I thought I finally looked like a regular person. I wasn't thin, I wasn't fat, I wasn't ugly, I wasn't handsome, I just looked like everybody else. I was like, Finally, like. I was so glad to just blend in with everybody as we were walking, and that made me realize that I didn't feel that way about myself before, and like I had a white sweat i got bright white sweatshirt on two years ago. You could not have paid me a million dollars. Oh, my
B 38:17
God, I understand. Yeah, I was a kid as a child too. So yeah, and up until high school. So I, I, trust me, I get that whole
Scott Benner 38:26
million years, million years. You I wouldn't put that sweatshirt on for for money or love. I wouldn't have put it on. I don't know. I just looked over and I was like, I just look like an average living, standing, walking person getting off of a plane. So I think maybe the self deprecating stuff comes from that, you know, I don't know. I also don't want to. I don't feel the other way, like, I guess, I don't feel like I'm so smart and you should listen to me. I don't know why the hell you guys are listening. You know what I mean? Like, I can't. I mean, I know what you tell me, but,
B 39:01
well, yeah, I think, I think we've told you plenty of time. No, no,
Scott Benner 39:05
no, I appreciate it. I understand. But like, I guess it's possible that I don't know. Maybe I'm not the kind of person I would have listened to. I don't know exactly, I guarantee you, I don't know the answer. I'm just talking out loud trying to find it. But anyway, somewhere in there is probably the answer, sure.
B 39:24
Well, thank you for sharing that and and trying to answer it. And I think you did. I understand me. Yeah, I don't. I wouldn't want to listen to myself either. I get it. One thing you mentioned about the, I think, in the opposite way you said about, you know, not having barely graduating from high school, and then, like, I've gone and gotten to, like, doctor, like, I, like, I barely tell anybody that, like, barely, because, like, I don't like people knowing that, because, you know, then they'll, you know, treat you to. Different, or expect you to know things or ask you questions, and I'm like, I can't tell you the answer to that. You need to talk to your own doctor, you know? Yeah. So I get it in the in the exact opposite way, that it's just not something that
I'm sure I'm proud that I did it, but I'm just B, yeah,
Scott Benner 40:21
that's how I feel, like I grew listen, I grew up in a very blue collar household, and we were very poor, and my parents were not like overly educated people. They went to high school in the 50s, you know, and and the 60s, and that was the extent. My dad worked in our a rubber molding plant, and my mom had a part time job folding clothes in a clothing store where, basically, like parochial school kids came to buy their uniforms. And, you know, I'm adopted, and I don't really talk about this on the podcast very often, but I have a really, really high IQ, but I don't know anything. I'm bad at math. I'm I don't have a great memory about facts, like I I don't know, but my IQ has been tested throughout my life. God, B, you got me today. I don't think I've ever said this on the podcast. My IQ has been tested a number of times throughout my life, and it always comes back at the same number, and it's it's shockingly high, and yet, I don't understand algebra, and I don't think in a million years, you could teach it to me, and I still wonder if I'm putting commas in the right place. So I think I'm smart enough to know that I'm I think I'm smart enough to know about the things I don't understand and and that stops you from being very confident sometimes. Does that make sense?
B 41:50
It does. Yeah. So
Scott Benner 41:53
that's it. I'll tell you when we when we get off, what the number is, but I'm not telling everybody else is even that embarrassed. Even that embarrasses me. Sorry, everyone. Yeah, I tried, and I don't want people who are you gonna try to get my middle name out of me next B, what's going on? I know you don't share that either. No one's getting that. And, by the way, it's the internet. You could know in three seconds if you really want to know. So I appreciate the people who don't look but it's just a weird name. I don't feel like that number, and I never have but and I I'm also disappointed that I didn't hone it with college, because I do wonder where I'd be today if I did have a firmer understanding of things. Yeah, that makes sense, so I'm smart enough to be inquisitive if that makes sense. But I don't know if I'm smart enough to come up with the answers, but I do think that while we talk about them, you all get to you get to figure it out. While we're while we're wondering out loud about stuff, if that makes sense, it does. Yeah, cool. I appreciate it. All right. I'm gonna let you go, because right now, Rob's like, Oh, it's just an hour and a half. Scott, so that's okay, Rob, we're still gonna call it heavy. And to the rest of you, I'm gonna hang up now and tell b what my IQ is. So if I find this online, we know b spilled the beans. I'm not gonna do it all right, thanks for doing this with me. I really appreciate it. Pre
this episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by Omnipod five. Omnipod five is a tube, free, automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a 1c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections, learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox at my link, you can get a free starter kit right now. Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox Dexcom sponsored this episode of The Juicebox podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom g7 at my link, dexcom.com/juicebox
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