#1547 Life Stages
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Kelly returns—this time as a mom. Her son now has T1D too, and they face it head-on together.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
Kelly 0:14
My name is Kelly. I am a mom to three kids. I'm type one diabetic, and my son is now officially type one diabetic as well. As of about a month ago,
Scott Benner 0:28
when I created the defining diabetes series, I pictured a dictionary in my mind to help you understand key terms that shape type one diabetes management. Along with Jenny Smith, who, of course, is an experienced diabetes educator. We break down concepts like basal, time and range, insulin on board and much more. This series must have 70 short episodes in it. We have to take the jargon out of the jargon so that you can focus on what really matters, living confidently and staying healthy. You can't do these things if you don't know what they mean. Go get your diabetes defined. Juicebox podcast.com, go up in the menu and click on series. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. The show you're about to listen to is sponsored by the ever since 365 the ever since 365 has exceptional accuracy over one year, and is the most accurate CGM in the low range that you can get ever since cgm.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you by my favorite diabetes organization, touched by type one. Please take a moment to learn more about them. At touched by type one.org on Facebook and Instagram. Touched by type one.org check out their many programs, their annual conference awareness campaign, their D box program, dancing for diabetes. They have a dance program for local kids, a golf night and so much more touched by type one.org. You're looking to help or you want to see people helping people with type one. You want touched by type one.org. The episode you're about to listen to is sponsored by tandem Moby, the impressively small insulin pump. Tandem Moby features tandems newest algorithm control, iq plus technology. It's designed for greater discretion, more freedom and improved time and range. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox
Kelly 2:32
My name is Kelly. I am a mom to three kids. I'm type one diabetic, and my son is now officially type one diabetic as well as of about a month ago.
Scott Benner 2:44
Okay, can we tell people the episode you were on previously? Yeah,
Kelly 2:47
but I couldn't tell you what it's called or what number it is. Seriously, yeah. Sorry, I can't go back and listen to it. You've never heard it. I have not and you have no idea what it was called. You know what it was called? Bad reviews. Oh, okay, look at you see, yeah, yeah. I just had to wreck my brain a little
Scott Benner 3:05
episode. 1213, bad reviews. I will read you the synopsis. Kelly has type one diabetes in a son with two antibodies. Oh, interesting. Well, now we're back to find out more. So those two antibodies. What happened to them? Okay, so
Kelly 3:22
that would have been about two and a half years ago. He was two and a half. We found two antibodies, and we watched them in agony, waiting for the day when we were gonna finally be able to start insulin. And now the day is finally
Scott Benner 3:36
here. How long ago did he begin using insulin, using it regularly,
Kelly 3:41
more than just like because originally our instructions were, if he's over 300 for three hours, give him half a unit to bring him back and then as of the very, very end of February. So a little over a month ago, he was on Lantis and injecting every meal. So
Scott Benner 4:00
how long did the over 300 for certain amount of time? Half unit thing? How long did that go on for? So
Kelly 4:07
those were our instructions for two and a half years, and we only had to do it a handful of times. He didn't like stay above 300 for more than a couple of hours almost ever. I think there was maybe three or four times total that we ever gave him any injection in those in the those two and a half years. Yeah, so
Scott Benner 4:26
for and how old is he today? He's five, five. So for two and a half years, you're just watching and waiting. And is he wearing a CGM? Yep,
Kelly 4:35
we were lucky. Um, the doctor, the pediatric endocrinologist that we connected him with prescribed him a CGM right away. Basically, hey, when we find antibodies, usually the littler the kid is, the quicker they develop into type one. So he wanted to get him on a on a Dexcom right away. We put it on him, and he has now worn a Dexcom longer in his life than he has not. But he just now started on insulin like a. Month ago,
Scott Benner 5:00
I'm gonna go a weird way on this for a second. So let's all pretend together that a magic man comes up to you and says, in two and a half years, you're going to get cancer. What's it like living for two and a half years waiting for the thing to happen
Kelly 5:17
when you talk about cancer. I'm not sure how to answer that, but I'm
Scott Benner 5:22
trying to put it in other people. Like, everybody here has type one diabetes, like, so, like, what I'm trying to say is, like, imagine, for anything else, you're gonna have shingles two and a half years from now, it's really gonna hurt. Like, you know, like, two and a half years from now, your house is gonna burn down. Two and a half years from now, your car is gonna stop running, and you're not gonna be able to afford a new one. Like, there's this thing coming in two and a half years, and you have a crystal ball for it. Like, what is the living in the crystal ball time? Like, it was
Kelly 5:49
miserable. And I think most of the misery that we experienced was that we didn't know when it was going to come. So we knew it was coming. We knew it absolutely was coming. And, you know, two and a half years ago we were told he's little, so it's probably going to be quick. So in my mind, that was in within a couple of months. And then we had two and a half years of watching his blood sugars, you know, hit 350 come back down to 60. And like, I mean, just the roller coaster. And there was, to my knowledge and to everything that I have figured out and researched, which is probably limited, there's really nothing we could have done about it at this point.
Scott Benner 6:27
Did you hear about teas yield and wonder about it? Yes,
Kelly 6:31
he was too little for it. I think he still is. But I also don't know that I would have gone for it. It was offered kind of to us through trial net. They asked, like, hey, if we can give it to you, do you want it? And I thought, we thought about it. I talked it over with my husband, and we decided on No, because these two and a half years have been hell like I don't. I don't want to live in this when's it coming, watching it and not being able to do anything about it like I have been ready for, we'll say, two of those two and a half years, to finally just be able to take the reins and deal with it. Whereas in the last two and a half years, it's been watching him roller coaster and seeing like the toll that it takes on his behavior, even like delaying that even more, potentially keeping him in that stage even longer, is just not something I even wanted to entertain like I've been wanting him to basically get to float full blown type one, so I could take over and manage better than what his body has been doing for the last two and a half years.
Scott Benner 7:32
How many times do you think he saw 300 in that time? Oh
Kelly 7:36
God, like I would say, almost every day,
Scott Benner 7:40
wow. So every day, his blood sugar shot the 300 and then it came back down.
Kelly 7:45
It would come back down really quickly. I mean, within an hour or less. But, yeah, he was hitting 300 almost every day for two and a half years.
Scott Benner 7:53
It was meals that did that, yeah. And his behavior changed, like, erratically,
Kelly 7:59
pretty much, yeah. I mean, even, I mean, it's hard because he's he's gotten older too, but in the last couple of months, since we've started regulating and kind of bringing it back into what I would expect would be more normal for a five year old. I mean, his behavior is night and day from what it had been for since he was two, and again, he was two, so I mean, some of that is just normal toddler behavior, but you could see it, and it wasn't necessarily just when he was hit 300 but like the roller coaster that he's been on for the last two and a half years. I mean, that it's it's been hard, I think on him, it's definitely been hard on us. Yeah,
Scott Benner 8:36
just the jerking up and down of the number is the instability and so the anticipation, in hindsight, now, the anticipation was worse than the reality of just managing diabetes every day. Absolutely.
Kelly 8:49
If I could have known, hey, in two and a half years, in, you know, February of 2025, he will have type one, I would have been like, yeah, okay, cool, whatever. But it was the not knowing when it was finally gonna come. It's knowing that it's coming and not knowing when it's coming that was really challenging.
Scott Benner 9:08
Yeah, so the crystal ball guy said, Look, two years from now, your kid's gonna get type one, sorry to tell you, but he's not gonna go 303 times a day, up and down. You would've said, All right, you think you would've been able to just live your life for two years and then prep for that time. Probably not just the anticipation, but it's the consistent hourly whack a mole that you're playing. Yeah,
Kelly 9:27
yeah. I mean, I'm glad that he was on a Dexcom. We never end up having to, you know, go to the hospital or be in DKA or any of that, and that's great. But the watching it and just knowing what was happening and not being able to do anything about it was really, really taxing, okay?
Scott Benner 9:44
And taxing. How, like you said, it was hard on you guys like you and your husband. I imagine you mean, this episode is sponsored by tandem Diabetes Care, and today I'm going to tell you about tandems, newest pump and algorithm, the tandem mobi system with control iq plus technology. Property features auto Bolus which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia. It has a dedicated sleep activity setting and is controlled from your personal iPhone. Tandem will help you to check your benefits today through my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, this is going to help you to get started with tandem, smallest pump yet that's powered by its best algorithm ever control iq plus technology helps to keep blood sugars in range by predicting glucose levels 30 minutes ahead, and it adjusts insulin accordingly. You can wear the tandem Moby in a number of ways. Wear it on body with a patch like adhesive sleeve that is sold separately, clip it discreetly to your clothing, or slip it into your pocket. Head. Now to my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, to check out your benefits and get started today, when you think of a CGM and all the good that it brings in your life, is the first thing you think about. I love that I have to change it all the time. I love the warm up period every time I have to change it. I love that when I bump into a door frame, sometimes it gets ripped off. I love that the adhesive kind of gets mushy sometimes when I sweat and falls off. No, these are not the things that you love about a CGM. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 the only CGM that you only have to put on once a year, and the only CGM that won't give you any of those problems the ever sense. 365 is the only one year CGM designed to minimize the vice frustration. It has exceptional accuracy for one year with almost no false alarms from compression lows while you're sleeping, you can manage your diabetes instead of your CGM with the ever since 365 learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox, one year, one CGM,
Kelly 11:54
yeah, I mean, because I'm type one also, so like, I know how crappy he's feeling when he's hitting 300 And then an hour later, he's 60, and then he's back up to 200 without even us treating it. Half the time, it's just his body not responding to anything properly for the last
Scott Benner 12:11
while, you couldn't Pre Bolus anything, right? No, we
Kelly 12:16
still don't. Actually, he's a really, really unreliable eater, so we actually still are not, but we, I mean, beforehand, he wasn't on any insulin really at all, until, like, a month and a half ago.
Scott Benner 12:27
Like, my question revolves around this idea, so if you stop the spike from ever happening, then his body wouldn't attack the spike. Because, I guess the worry was, if you gave him insulin, his body was also giving insulin, it would make him lower, too low, right, right? I found myself wondering, like, if you could have stopped the high, would that have quelled the amount of natural insulin he got? Yeah, I
Kelly 12:50
wondered that too, and I had actually brought it up to multiple different doctors. We have a doctor, a pediatric endocrinologist, locally that we see, and I've been pretty happy with, you know, the the advice that we've gotten from him, and I hear from the doctors with the trial net, and I've spoken with a few of them, and kind of just asked them, like, picking their brains, like, what can we do? Like, this is awful, and they're, I mean, basically across the board is just, just wait it'll come. And, I mean, it did eventually. You could see, you know, in I think two months he went from, I think 5.7 a 1c to 6.7 a 1c like, there was a very drastic like, Okay, it's time, right? Like, the fact that there's nothing to do in the in between. Like, I hope that's coming eventually for the people who are found really early on, like, like, in stage two or stage one, I hope that eventually there is something to treat. I don't know.
Scott Benner 13:46
Do you feel like the doctor telling you it's coming ignores the psychological stuff, though? How do you mean, like, well, for him, for your son's like, you know, behaviorally, or how he just felt, or how you knew he felt, and probably the guilt that you found from that, like, doesn't that all just kind of like, doesn't that answer just dismiss all of that?
Kelly 14:07
Yeah. Definitely felt that way. Yeah. It was definitely very validating. Like, with trial net, when he finally failed his oral glucose tolerance test, he finally failed it. And I was like, finally. Because half the time we would go in and I would see it, you know, at home, especially, what on the Dexcom. I would watch the Dexcom, and he would spike, and then he would come back down. He would spike, and he would come back down. But then we'd go to his glucose tolerance test, and it was like, he'd hit, like 160 and then come back down at his two hour mark, or whatever it is, he'd be like, 110 and they're like, oh, look, he's doing fine. And I'm like, No, he's not. Yeah,
Scott Benner 14:43
that's my point. Is, I don't think they don't care about it, right? They're not paying attention to it, like it's not what they're worried about. You know, I just interviewed somebody yesterday that, you know, is an RN, whose child was diagnosed, and, you know, had that, that moment where she realized actually she's a physician assistant. Excuse me, where she realized, like, Wow, all the people I work with don't know anything about type one diabetes, and we help people with type one diabetes every day, like that vibe and so, like, not that the doctor's ignoring something, but almost like they don't even know to be concerned about it. But you had a a unique experience where you had type one, you have type one, so then you know what's happening to your son while this is going on? Right? Yeah, and that, that was probably an extra, I don't know. Like, what was it guilt or anger or frustration? What did, what did it do for you just
Kelly 15:32
both, like, I think it was a little bit of guilt early on. I don't know that. I feel a lot of that now. I mean, every now and then it'll ping and be like, Hey, you should feel like about this. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And then, but I mean, most of it is just, like, sympathy, like, I know how bad you're feeling. I want to handle this for you. I want to, I want to make it better, right? And there's, there's just, you know, everyone and their dog is telling me, hey, there's nothing you can do. Just watch it and wait. And I'm like, Are you sure? Like, you're super sure there's nothing we can do. Yeah, I just, there's got to be something. And there's, there's not, I mean, ever I asked them, like, Hey, can we get them started on a long acting, maybe curb some of these spam and they'll still happen. They're like, No, he's, you know, he's waking up in the 90s. He's waking up in the in the his fasting numbers are in, you know, the low hundreds. And I'm like, I know, but like, so there's nothing, there's nothing we can do
Scott Benner 16:24
at all. Are you sure? Hello, anyone? It's tough, and it went on for a long time, right? Two and a half years, a long, long ass time. Yeah,
Kelly 16:33
it was a very long time. It was a lot longer than I expected to So, oh,
Scott Benner 16:37
so you had a distance in your head, and so that probably made it worse, right?
Kelly 16:41
Yeah. I mean, when we initially got the call from the doctor, again, he said, the younger they are, the quicker they go into, you know, their full blown type one. And I don't know, like that that I as far as I know, there's not a gage of, like, how long the antibodies have been in somebody's body. So when they normally find them, are they two weeks from being diagnosed? Are they two years from being diagnosed? Or I don't, as far as I know, there's not a way to know. So he's like, hey, the younger they are, the quicker it's going to happen. So in my brain, and I didn't ask more questions, and maybe I should have, in my brain, I'm thinking, okay, so probably within, you know, a couple months, six months, and then time went on and it went on and it went on, and we're watching it on the Dexcom, and I'm like, when, when do we intervene? And it was, there was finally a moment where I was like, Okay, it's time. And the doctors agreed, you know, yeah, it's time, like, it's time to intervene. But it was awful just watching it, like, waiting for it to be time. If you
Scott Benner 17:37
could have planned this whole experience out, how would you prefer it to have gone? Are you happy that you learned about the auto antibodies? Yes,
Kelly 17:46
I'm so glad we know about it, and I've I've enjoyed like being part of trial net and seeing kind of how the different research can help. I almost wish we hadn't started on the Dexcom right away, or that we would have just worn it like once a month, I've been listening to alarms on my phone for his numbers for for years, and it's just, it would alarm me. I had it set 140 just so I could see what was happening. And it's it's being every hour, right? Like every hour it's 140 or higher, or then it's 250
Scott Benner 18:16
so the CGM as a diagnostic tool was terrific, but personally speaking, if it's going to go to 300 and come back in an hour, and I'm not doing anything about it anyway, knowing about it is maddening, not valuable
Kelly 18:30
in some cases, yes, I definitely like I'm glad we had it. I'm glad he had it on and we could see what was happening and we were learning from it. But I don't know. I think I wish that I would have just put it on him sometimes to catch eventually, what would happen, and not just watched it constantly,
Scott Benner 18:49
like once, maybe 10 days every month or so. Yeah,
Kelly 18:53
I see and by the time I brought that up, I had, you know, I said something to doctor. I said, I think I just want to put it on him once in a while. They're like, he's getting closer now he's getting Wait. You know, you can see, like it's trending, that he's going to be needing the insulin soon. So, yeah, now is not the time to do that.
Scott Benner 19:09
Okay, you figured out what you wanted to do too late. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 19:13
exactly.
Scott Benner 19:14
Okay, remind me other autoimmune in your family. Yes or No, no.
Kelly 19:19
I have have hypothyroid also, I assume it's Hashimotos, but I never looked into it. I don't know that it makes a difference for treatment that I know of, so I don't think so. We just I've never dug into it. My mom, I think, has some hypothyroidism, but there's not much else over there. And I guess on my dad's side, one of my uncles, has lupus. Usually forget about that. We're not close. But yeah, he does.
Scott Benner 19:43
Got you Well, we're gonna move on to the next part here, but I have to tell you, like, I am working very hard to shake this I listen to an interview before you and I got on. So I was doing, like, I was cleaning up in here, and, like, straightening out my desk, and like, you know, that kind of stuff. And, um. Like, listening to somebody who's I was interested in hearing from, and this person was interviewed by a bad interviewer, and it got, it got into my head. I was like, Oh my God. Like, is that what it sounds like when it's done that poorly? Now I'm like, super like, aware of it. Oh my god. Ask good questions. Really focused. But what made you want to come back onto the podcast? Do you think to yourself, like, well, there's an update here, or did you have an experience that you really want to, like, dig through
Kelly 20:29
mostly just an update? There are definitely things to talk about, but I think they'll just come up as they come up. I don't think I have anything you know at the forefront of my brain about what specifically I wanted to share
Scott Benner 20:41
this is very much about the transition from from stages for you, yeah, for the most part, yeah, okay, cool. Well, was it like a birthday party when this blood sugar finally went up, it didn't come back down again? Were you like, Woo, it's happening, or was it was there still some, like, sadness?
Kelly 20:55
There was like, I would say probably, like, two minutes or less of, like, Ash, it finally happened, but most of it was just very validating and almost celebration, which, like, sounds terrible to say, but I was just like, finally I can do something. Like I've been sitting on my hands for so long, like I was just ready. There's just relief,
Scott Benner 21:16
yeah, yeah. And now that all that anticipation is gone, and everything else, exactly Awesome? Well, I mean, awesome is the wrong word, but I'm, you know. Okay, so how long ago did this happen? This
Kelly 21:27
was between a month, a month and a half ago, so at the very let's see, in December, which was what four ish months ago was when we he failed back to back glucose tolerance tests with trial net. So we knew that it was time. And then we went to his Endo, and, like, a week later, because the doctor said, Hey, when's your next appointment with him? And I said, it's in February. And he shakes his head, and he goes, he is not gonna make it that long before needing his insulin. And I'm like, All right, sounds good. So we scheduled an appointment, you know, the next week, and we go in and he looks, pulls up his Dexcom and his reports, and he's like, Yeah, give him a half a unit every day with breakfast. And I'm like, okay, yeah. And especially, like, with having, you know, plenty of knowledge. For me. I thought that he would come out of like, okay, let's give him, like, a one to 30 carb ratio. Let's see what happens. Like, I thought there would at least be some sort of starting point, but he's just said, like, half a unit with breakfast. And I'm like, Uh, okay, so we did it for a couple of days, and honestly, like, it didn't help that much, because his body was still bringing him back down. It was slower than it had been previously, but it was still coming back down. And right after breakfast, he's at school, in preschool. I'm not trying to put all that on the teachers, like, this is the only time of day we're even going to give him instantly. He said only at breakfast, because those were his highest spikes, right? And I was like, I'm not going to do that. So I talked it over with a friend, and she was like, what if, you guys, you guys, you know, sending her his graphs every day? Like, what would you do here with all of my 20 years of type one? Like, I don't know what to do at this point. And she had a child who had been diagnosed within, like, the last year, so her her knowledge is a lot fresher. Like, what would you do? And she's like, Hey, okay, tackle lunch first, because he's also spiking pretty big with lunch. Tackle lunch, and then he'll be at home. So he's only at preschool for three hours, so she's like, tackle lunch first. Let's see what happens. So we did that for a little while, and then the more I thought about it, I actually stopped giving him any insulin at all, because what I realized was, if I control it too well with, you know, half a unit, a unit, two units of Humalog, it's gonna look like he doesn't need the basal that I know he needs. It's gonna look like he doesn't need a pump. He doesn't need good because I'm doing, you know, I I'm doing such a good job with, you know, micro dosing throughout the day, it's gonna look like he doesn't need anything. You
Scott Benner 24:06
felt like you needed to show bad reports to get the stuff you needed, you know. So you've had type one for 20 years. So you grew up through the time where, like, you wait for your doctor to change your settings, right? Yes, yeah. Do you have some of that, like feeling still, because I imagine, I know for you, you don't have it, but do you think it snuck back in a little bit like the oh, they're in charge. Did that feeling come back to you a little
Kelly 24:30
bit? A lot of my hesitation, I was like, okay, I can see. I think basal is going to be great for him. Give him some Lantus. Give him whatever it might be he was his overnight numbers were still looking really good, so we were worried. You know, if we give him Lantus and he drops say we need to go to the emergency room, he's not prescribed any Lantus, we can't not tell them that he has basal insulin. You
Scott Benner 24:55
actually had a fear that they would think you were treating him poorly, or something like. I
Kelly 25:00
was worried that if he ended up having a low we had to go to the, er, they're gonna, I mean, they're, who knows what they could do if you go in and say, Hey, I'm giving him my medication that's not prescribed to him, yeah. I mean, there's, there's too many things they can do at that point.
Scott Benner 25:13
You're trying to get your kid back from the state all this, right, yeah, was it not comfortable to go to the doctor and say that? Oh, I asked
Kelly 25:20
him, and he said, No, his overnight numbers still look fine. I think it would be okay. I had actually posted in the Juicebox Facebook page like, does anyone have any suggestions? Are there any because levemir was discontinued at this point, because we were looking for an insulin that didn't last as long that would help us throughout the day and not tank him overnight. Yeah,
Scott Benner 25:45
levemir might have worked really well for that, but they don't make that anymore.
Kelly 25:49
No, they don't really, jeez, that's what I was told. And that's Yeah. So it's discontinued, and we could not get it, so we ended up just backing off and basically not doing anything. We went to his appointment, what would have been like two months ish later, and I had given him a couple of, we'll call rescue doses of like Humalog to bring him down. Like, if his body was just not bringing him back down at all, I would give him some. But I was not treating his meals as I should, because I wanted to show the bad reports. Like, look, you need to prescribe him the medications that he needs. So we went to the doctor at the end of February, and he did kind of push back of the doctor did kind of push back a little bit and say, like, no, look, it's fine. And I pull up the clarity reports on my phone, and I said, Look at this, 60% of the day he's out of range. I had the range set like 70 to 140, and 60% of his day he was not in range. They said, You can't tell me that he's fine. He's not doing fine, isn't
Scott Benner 26:49
there? Almost an argument to be made to put him on a pump that has that you could set it a zero basal, and then just do a little basal sometimes, or like, and then not other times. Like, almost set up a pump, but run it manually. Does that make sense? You
Kelly 27:03
know, that's actually exactly what we did. Oh, look at me. Okay, good, yeah, so I brought that up, and I said, is I asked him for a pump in December? I said, Can we get the process started so that way, you know, when I probably have to fight insurance and wait for the companies to send everything out and all this while we're doing this whole process, basically, we have it before we really, really need it. He said, No, no, no, we don't need to do that with TRICARE. Won't give you any problems. And I was like, Okay, that was not the case. But really,
Scott Benner 27:34
that didn't work out like that. Everything didn't go the way it was supposed to.
Kelly 27:41
So he, I, you know, I brought it up again at the end of February. I said, Listen, look at his day. Yes, he's having some, some, you know, normalcy overnight. But even overnight it was, we'll say, like, maybe 3am the 6am that his numbers were fine overnight. So yes, if you were doing a finger stick, he was waking up at a great number, not the entire of the time. Yeah, exactly. And he would, he would pull up, like, the clarity, you know, report, and be like, Look, he's waking up at 110 and I'm like, I know, but can we look at the rest of the chart, please? If you see these other 20 hours in the day, those, those are the one I'm looking
Scott Benner 28:18
at. This is the endocrinologist. Yes, is this person still your child's endocrinologist? Yeah, actually,
Kelly 28:23
yeah, it's going okay. I definitely don't know that. I would suggest him to somebody who does not have knowledge about how to, like, push for the things that they want, or know what things that they want. But you know, when I pushed back and I said, Listen, like, Look at, look at the 60% of his day that is out of range. Like, we need to do something about this. I don't care about those three hours where he's in range. That's not enough, by the
Scott Benner 28:50
way. What a terrific review. If you know a lot about your disease state and you're comfortable pushing back on a doctor who doesn't this guy's for you, and if not, you probably should go to somebody who understands better. I mean, is that the review? Is that the review basically,
Kelly 29:03
yeah, I mean, at least, at least at the start. I mean, again, I genuinely think, like, at least a diagnosis, because that's the extent of my knowledge with him so far. I mean, we've been seeing him for almost three years now. But like, for actually handling type one, I think it's very like, basic, like, here, let me give you the don't die advice, and then eventually we'll build up on it. Because, I mean, he's told me, like, you know it, you know, if he was older and a much more reliable eater, I'd suggest pre Ebola thing. Like, he's telling me the things that he should kind of but he's, like, not giving all the information up front either? Yeah, he's
Scott Benner 29:42
not a great eater. But do you have you found a world where you Pre Bolus a little bit, then Bolus the rest after the food goes in. We have
Kelly 29:48
tried, but more of the issue beyond him not eating is that we can give him his plate and he will immediately stuff his face, or we can give him his plate. And he won't touch it for 20 minutes until everyone else is done and leaves the table, and then he'll decide it's time to eat. So even if I just Pre Bolus them, you know, half of the meal just wondering what he would eat, it's still way too much if he doesn't eat for 20 minutes after I serve it to him. Is he
Scott Benner 30:16
on a pump? Now he is, yes. I was gonna say, like, is he trying to avoid, like, injections by not eating or but that's not the
Kelly 30:23
case. No, no, he doesn't. I mean, he didn't ever care about the injections either. So gotcha,
Scott Benner 30:29
how much easier is it to have a child with type one diabetes when you have it yourself? I know you have to, like, look at other people and, like, kind of extrapolate their experiences and put them onto yours. But do you think it's a a huge benefit or not, or do you think there's places where it's not a benefit?
Kelly 30:46
I think both. I definitely have the knowledge. Because again, when we go to the endo and they're giving you the, hey, if he, if he goes below 80, treat him. And I'm like, Yeah, maybe. So they're giving you the don't die. And I'm coming in with way, way, way more knowledge. So, you know, in the in a, I think it was a month we were able to bring his a 1c when he started on insulin from 6.7 to 6.1 right, like, and I don't know that with the advice they gave, that would have been possible. So in that regard, I would say it's a positive. But I also think there's definitely negatives. It's definitely harder for me to at the moment where it's still very new, and very early on, I am focusing, like so much on him, and like getting his doses accurate and timed as well as we can that I sit down, I eat my meal, and I'm like, Oh, I'm 200 What did? Oh, I did. I did. I dosed him, but he didn't dose myself, right? So there's, there's a little bit of a learning curve, and trying to remember to do both of us now, which I think will, that'll, that'll fade away, and it'll be fine, but it's just real still early on, and making sure that we're handling everything. And then I'm a little bit worried about, like, tethering him to my choices for technology and whatever else, and knowing like, Okay, well, I know the tandem system. I know how this operates. So of course, he's going to use tandem, which he is, and so am I. But I'm worried that eventually there might be something better out there, but I, 20 years in, might be stuck in my ways and be like, No, I'm not doing that. So he's not doing that. So I'm a little bit worried that that's coming, or that that's already happening. I'm not sure you're
Scott Benner 32:30
worried that you're going to apply your biases to him and then he's going to get stuck with him. Yeah, I think that might be a good way to describe that. Yeah. You're not worried about the problems you've had throughout your life, having type one, like, do you find yourself, like, going, Oh God, I know what's going to happen to him in high school, because, you know this thing happened to me. Or, like, do you have those feelings?
Kelly 32:49
Not really, because I do feel like I'm more equipped to, like, watch out for those things.
Scott Benner 32:56
So you feel like there'll be experiences that help you be ready, not they're not causing you like doom and gloom. I definitely
Kelly 33:03
can't tell you like I am absolutely confident he will not go through it, because I don't think that's the case, but I think that, you know, I can at least watch out for them,
Scott Benner 33:12
right? At least maybe see him coming exactly. Yeah. And then, would you offer your your advice? Do you think, or do you think you'd sit back and direct it from a distance. Like, the other day, Arden said to me, she's like, I see you holding back your advice sometimes with us now that I'm older and, like, not just about diabetes, and I'm like, Well, yeah, I want you to have an experience and figure out what you think about this. Like, I don't want to just tell you what to think about it. And then I kind of watch to make sure that they don't get too far off the rails before, like, and if they do, then I'll pipe up maybe, and be like, Hey, have you considered this part of it? Do you know what I mean? Like, in your kids are younger, right?
Kelly 33:52
Yeah, my kids are five, seven and 10, so they're all still little. Yeah,
Scott Benner 33:57
you don't know this part of it yet. Like, where they like, where they start thinking by themselves, if you're thinking about it, like, because you thought about it with the diabetes stuff, like, well, I don't want to just tell them to do what I think, because maybe he'll think something different. But like, Wait till that starts happening with, like, personal stuff, and you're like, oh, like, you only mean like, like, interpersonal stuff, social things, politics, like, that kind of stuff, where you're like, wow, I think that's way off. But let me let you go for a while and see what happens here.
Kelly 34:24
Yeah, I'm worried about that a little bit with him, but I also think it's gonna depend so much on what his personality, you know, turns out to be, and how our relationship is. I mean, I'm never gonna be like, hands off with it, but I also I don't know whether I'll be like, hey, shape up. Do it this way, do it the right way, or if it'll be more like, hey, what do you think if we maybe get some different ideas about that? So
Scott Benner 34:47
you're telling me you need to maintain your relationship with your kids and check to make sure he's not going to be a different. Maybe if he's a different, you'll give him more advice.
Unknown Speaker 34:56
Exactly. That's my point.
Scott Benner 34:59
That's. That I was thinking, though, yeah, the ones who don't need it, you're like, oh, they'll be okay, which then, by the way, I think runs a different risk of making the kids feel abandoned, like nobody was interested in them. Yeah, there's no winning, raising children, by the way. Yeah, no,
Kelly 35:11
it's the worst, it's the worst, and it's the best, and yeah, there, yeah, I agree. You're
Scott Benner 35:16
not gonna win. You're just gonna mitigate problems. That's all. Everything you pick to mitigate the thing on the opposite side gets worse. Oh yeah, I'll
Speaker 1 35:24
still do it wrong. I'll just do whatever I do. It's fine. Good
Scott Benner 35:28
luck to all of you, as long as your kid's not on the news and you don't find yourself standing in front of the house one day going, I didn't think they would do that. I think you're kind of okay, yeah, nothing sadder, you know what I mean, that a parent going, I just never imagined. And I'm like, Yeah, apparently everyone that knew him thought it was gonna happen,
Unknown Speaker 35:45
everyone but mommy, it's
Scott Benner 35:46
fine, awesome. Oh my god. How long have you been using the tandem pump?
Kelly 35:53
I have probably had mine for, I would guess, well, at least five years, but I think it's been more like eight somewhere in there. You enjoy it? I like it. Yeah,
Scott Benner 36:04
yeah. Would you tell people tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, they should go there to find out more about it. That's exactly what I would do. Awesome. Kelly, thank you, but tell me what you like about it. So I like
Kelly 36:16
the algorithm a lot, and it's very user friendly. The algorithm works as long as you're setting the right so I like that.
Scott Benner 36:25
And the form factor. Do you think about the Moby? Or do you like the I'm assuming you have like the T Slim x2 or something.
Kelly 36:32
I do. I have the T slim and my son has Moby. Okay, I see one
Scott Benner 36:36
of each. Yep. All right. There you go. Check it out. I think pumps are obviously a very personal decision. And like, you know, I'm not saying like Kelly uses tandem Moby, you should use it, or, like, my daughter uses an Omnipod, so definitely use it. But there are pluses to all of them. I think there are minuses to all of them, and you got to figure out which one really fits you better. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And CGM dexcoms. Both of us are on
Kelly 37:01
Dexcom I am on the g6 and my son is on the g7
Scott Benner 37:06
interesting. Do you have an opinion between the two? I
Kelly 37:09
do not. I like, I mean, there's again, like you said, there's pluses and minuses to both. I like the look of the graph on the g6 a little better. But I also like the warm up time and the 12 hours at the end, whatever they call that, the
Scott Benner 37:22
extra time at the end, yeah. And kind of go like, Oh, it's expired, but I get 12 more hours. Yep, yeah, yeah. I see it helping Arden to change the device in a, I don't know, like when it's more convenient for her? Exactly. Yep. Same here. Gotcha. What grade is he in now? Is he in kindergarten yet? Nope, not yet. He's in preschool. He's still in preschool. Okay. How did the other kids handle him getting diabetes?
Kelly 37:45
I was a little worried that they would be jealous, like, we have jelly beans at school so he can have like, one or two if he starts to drop too low or whatever. And I was worried that the other kids would like, you know, side eye him or try to take them. But the entire class is like that. His phone will beep, and all the kids are like, Madden. You need a snack.
Scott Benner 38:05
It's probably like, awesome. So at school, it hasn't been an issue. How about at home? How about your children? I
Kelly 38:10
don't notice a whole lot. I think there in the last I mean, since it's been, again, like a month and a half, there's been, we'll say, more focus on my son. And I see that a little bit, my other kids seem like they need a little more attention, so we've been mitigating that a little bit. But for the most part, I don't think there's a whole lot going on yet. At least.
Scott Benner 38:30
Are you looking for things that you have in common with the other kids so that everybody can feel connected,
Kelly 38:34
definitely. So we actually each of my kids on like the day of the month that they were born. So like, my son was born on the ninth so like tonight, he gets to stay up late with my husband and I and spend time with the two of us, like with the other kids going to bed. And so we we've been giving them, like a little both of the other two kids, like a little bit extra time to give them more focus. So
Scott Benner 38:58
is this monthly? You do this? We do, yeah, yeah. So monthly on your birthday, the date, like, if I was born on the 12th, so every month on the 12th, you would jettison my brother and or sisters and be like, get away from here. This is Scott and mommy and daddy time, exactly.
Kelly 39:12
We put the other kids to bed, and then the one kid gets, you know, an hour, two hours, however long it ends up being. But they get sole focus. They get to be the only child for a couple of hours.
Scott Benner 39:23
Oh my god, I'm gonna ask you a question you shouldn't answer. I'm just gonna say upfront. I'm gonna ask you a question you shouldn't answer. Do you like hanging out with one of them more than the others? I plead the fifth.
Oh my god, just like I had a picture in my mind of you being like, oh, thank like, Oh, thank God, it's not this one.
Unknown Speaker 39:46
There are some days that we're like, No, not today, please.
Scott Benner 39:49
Kid is so boring.
Kelly 39:53
We let them pick like they get to kind of lead whatever they want to do on that day. And like, you know, some of the kids choose the. Same thing every time, and it's like, a month apart, so it's not, like, super tedious. But I'm like, we just did that last month and the month before and the month can we, can we play Uno?
Scott Benner 40:09
I want you to keep doing this till they're much older. Because, like, I want to know how you handle it when, like, the first time, the one kid's like, Yeah, I think we should, like, smoke weed tonight, don't you? And like, I mean, the other two, those, those steps are gone, mom, right? Like, let's do it. I would talk to your children about what they think the other ones are doing. Yeah, oh, my God. I bet you their minds race.
Speaker 1 40:31
You know what I mean? Yeah, I should, I should start keeping, like, a journal of it all so I can look back, yeah?
Scott Benner 40:36
Like, what did they think is happening? Like, when they're in their bed and they're like, Oh, they're out there. I know that's the fun one. They're probably, they're probably doing crack. They probably think you're leaving the house and like, racing cars down the street or something like that. My five year old, Scott, yeah, no, yeah, I think you'd be racing around with your five year old out in the street. It's like, it's late at night, nobody's out there. It's fine with
Unknown Speaker 40:56
mom and dad both, and the other two just, yeah, they're
Scott Benner 40:58
just in the house hanging out. Like but I'm saying, if you were a kid, wouldn't you imagine that? Probably,
Kelly 41:03
so yeah, like, they're probably doing so that, I think they were doing crack. But, you
Scott Benner 41:07
know, I probably went too far with that. If I'm a little kid, I'm upstairs going, like, all I bring to the table is Uno. Every week I use, like, you know, there's one kids like, they asked me what I want to do, and I can panic, and I say, uno. They know the other ones down there doing something cool.
Speaker 1 41:24
Usually they just, like, want to watch videos on YouTube. And I'm like, Really, this is, this is the best you could come up with. Come on, seriously,
Scott Benner 41:32
yeah, oh, Jesus Hannah. These kids got no imagination. Boy, if I had like, I'd be like, listen, we finally got rid of the other two. We all know they're an anchor, and now it's our time, right? And dad, I see it in your eyes. You hate those other ones, but not me. I would. I'd be such a little like, I got put in that situation. I'd be like, I know you've been waiting for Scott to come. Don't worry. Meanwhile, I'm so boring. I took one of those personality tests the other day, and Martin's like it said, Do you think other people think you're fun? And I was like, No. And Arden goes, you don't think other people think you're fun. I was like, I can't imagine. She goes, a lot of people like you. And I was like, now she's trying to talk me into changing my answer. Like, I'm like, Oh my god. Am I that wrong about like, am I wrong about all these one of the other questions was, do you enjoy making people laugh? So here, Kelly, do you enjoy making people laugh? No, I don't think I'm good at it. Okay, I'm good at it. Ask me if I enjoy it. Do you enjoy it? No, not really. I'm I'm just trying to make myself laugh. No, that's fair. If you laugh like, that's fine. I'm happy for you, but like, I'm not trying to make you laugh. I'm just saying what I think is fun or not about you. It's about myself. Well, that's what I ended up with when it was over. I was like, Oh my God. Like, it was like, we should not take these tests anymore. I don't like how they come out. It was one of those, like, I don't, I don't even know what they call them, but like, at the end, it gives you like a, I don't know what the hell it was. I don't pay a lot of attention.
Kelly 43:03
Was it like the one that gives you like the letters or something, or it gives you like a, like a,
Scott Benner 43:07
no, no, not the letters. Like you're the jester, you're the king, you're the I don't even know. Yeah, there's no way I would share with you what I like, what I was. Oh, you got to No, because when it popped up, I was embarrassed by it.
Speaker 1 43:20
I'm just gonna Google what all of them are, and then I'm just gonna guess.
Scott Benner 43:24
All right, well, hold on a second. I'll tell you what if you guess it. Alright. So what is it called? It's called archetypes. All right, I have them in front of me. Okay,
Speaker 1 43:33
wait, how many are there? Because I'm I don't know if I'm looking at the same one or not. It
Scott Benner 43:36
looks like there's like 10, maybe 11, nine. What are the 12 archetype patterns I only coming up with nine. The innocent represents purity and optimism. The Orphan desires connection and belonging. The hero seeks to prove worth through courageous acts. The caregiver motivated by a desire to protect and care for others. The Explorer craves freedom and authenticity, fearing getting trapped. The rebel yearns for revolution or change. The lover seeks intimacy and connection. Their creator strives to create enduring value, fearing mediocrity. The Jester embraces joy and humor, fearing boredom and boring others. The sage driven by the quest for truth, fearing being misled. The magician aims to make dreams come true, fearing unintended negative consequences. The ruler desires control and prosperity, fearing chaos and being overthrown. And somehow, this is not part of the ones. I think actually they probably just call it something different in the one she gave me, by the way, half of these you take online, you got to pay for at the end. Oh yeah, because I just read all those to you, and none of them were it. It wasn't the one. So now I'm going to do the next one.
Unknown Speaker 44:57
Swear to God, wouldn't it just be easier to say it then?
Scott Benner 44:59
It? No, because I am not going to say it. Yeah, maybe this one's it, the King, the warrior, the magician, the lover. My God, the internet sucks. Who made this? Listen, I'm just going to come out and say it. We shouldn't have let everybody use the internet. It should have just been, I don't know how we should have chosen who, but there can't be 17 different answers for one question.
Kelly 45:24
I don't know. Maybe you should try to ask chat GPT, because I feel like they probably know you by now. Maybe you could just ask them which archetype you are.
Scott Benner 45:31
See what they say. That's funny. I do that. Okay. Now the people who are like, you're ruining the world with chat GPT, the whole whole podcast is this about that? No, I hear you can cry babies. This will probably know
Unknown Speaker 45:44
it immediately. If it gets it right. Will you tell me? It's just
Scott Benner 45:47
gonna tell me to take a test. If it, if I say, hey, what archetype am I? It's gonna say, well, here's it looks like I was close, innocent, orphan, hero, caregiver, Explorer, rebel, King, lover, creator, jester, sage, magician.
Unknown Speaker 46:04
Wait, it's not the same list you gave me before. A little bit. So
Scott Benner 46:08
which one do you think I am? Anybody who's really listening knows the answer already, but go ahead, all right. Well,
Kelly 46:13
maybe that's not me. I put little stars down while I was typing what you said, and I put a little star by orphan and creator.
Scott Benner 46:20
Interesting. So I thought for sure when I got done it would be, like, caregiver, yeah? I thought about that one too. I thought, creator, maybe, you know what I mean, like, these were all ones that I was right there, the orphan one, like, I have, like, you know, I've been very open about being adopted, but like, I don't I'm not burdened by it constantly, so it probably doesn't come out in my answers. Yeah, but that was not. None of those were correct. And then you go into your level two, right where you're gonna start thinking, like, Well, maybe he got jester or lover or like, then the people who think I'm an asshole are like, Oh, it's hero. He wants to be the hero. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, it's none of those, by the way, sage, like, oh, he thinks he knows everything. Nope, not that. I'm definitely not innocent. There's only one left. You know,
Kelly 47:07
I'm trying to, like, go through my list right now and figure out which, which one's left. But I got King, really. What was the description on that one? I don't remember what you said. The King
Scott Benner 47:16
in the masculine archetype, the ruler represents control, authority and order. Interesting about leadership that brings structure and promises stability and well being,
Speaker 1 47:27
I wouldn't have pegged that. Yeah. Do you think there's
Scott Benner 47:31
like, a whole part of me that doesn't come out in the
Unknown Speaker 47:33
podcast? There must be, yeah,
Scott Benner 47:37
I don't know. I don't think I'm right about things.
Kelly 47:39
Did Arden say that was the one? Like, did she think that was a good fit for you? No, Arden got the same thing.
Scott Benner 47:46
Do you think that's a good fit for her? I think these things are bullshit, but I don't know. Like, I give to keep it on me for a second. Would ask questions about, like, Do you doubt yourself after you've made a decision, like stuff like that. Like, I don't doubt myself after I've made a decision, but it takes me a long time to make a decision. Like, I don't have like, hot takes in my own life. You know what I mean? I know I make a podcast. So people are probably like, I think you do that for a living, but like, if something comes up, I give it a lot of long thought, and then once I decide that it's a thing that we can do. I don't back off of it. I trust myself after that. Does that make sense?
Kelly 48:25
So when you're answering the questions, are you answering it like, generally looking at your whole life? Are you just looking at your personal life, or, like, what you feel about yourself or what you think other people feel
Scott Benner 48:34
about you? That's why I think the tests are because, like, there's like, every question that was asked. I said to Arden, I was like, one of them was timed. And she goes, Hey, these are timed. And I was like, we could have a half an hour conversation about every one of these questions. You know what I mean? Like, like, they're not that cut and dry, they're not that simple. Do you like being in groups, or do you prefer being in groups or being alone? And I said, Are we a group, like the four of us? Is this a group, because I like this, but I don't want to go to a club, right, and be with 150 people, but I'm not alone when I'm with you, and I don't, and I don't mind being alone, but I don't particularly like seek it out. This question is meaningless, like, because it could be interpreted 1000 ways, unless the test is set up to let you just interpret it every way you want, but I don't know how it could be that that thoughtful. Then
Kelly 49:25
it's assigning a type to you and saying, like, this is how you are, and you're like, Are you sure is that? Was I just feeling about like, like, about myself for the last three days before I took the test?
Scott Benner 49:37
If it works? That's kind of crazy, but I don't see how it could actually work. Like, look, do you prefer being alone or in a group myself? Yeah, alone, but is your family a group?
Kelly 49:49
See, I wouldn't count them as a group. See, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm with you. I absolutely don't want to be in a group of people, but I wouldn't count my my kids and my husband as a group.
Scott Benner 49:59
Yeah, you. Here was one like, Is it easier for you to talk to people at a party who you know, or people you don't know? Neither, Oh, see, for me, it doesn't matter. Oh, yeah, it matters. So now I can't answer the question. I would literally talk to anybody like and sometimes do. Sometimes I just, I was walking to the grocery store the other day, and this lady was pushing out one of those carts that set up like a race car for your kid to sit in in the front. The last time it was the grocery store with Arden, she saw a kid in one of those carts and said to me, I remember when I was a kid feeling like I was actually driving that thing, and it was so much fun. I'm walking past the woman. We make eye contact. What do you think I do you think I nod? Do you think I say good morning. How are you just smile? No, I go. My 20 year old daughter told me the other day that when she was that age, driving those little cars, she felt like she was really driving it. And the woman, at first is like, what has happened? You know what I mean? But then she realizes someone speaking to her. And she processed what I was saying, and she stopped and smiled and said, Oh, God, she loves in this thing. And then she told me about her kid, and then I said, I hope you have a good day. And she said, Me too. And we walked away. Nobody does that.
Kelly 51:09
No, no, that wouldn't be me at all. Even if I was that person with the kid in the cart, I've been like, Oh, that's good. And I would have kept walking. I wouldn't even say, like, have a good day. I would just walk away. I'd be like, great,
Scott Benner 51:19
get away from me, murderer.
Speaker 1 51:23
Why are you approaching me with my small child? Get away from me. So
Scott Benner 51:26
I have a feel like, yeah, Jesus, ready? I have a theory that if I could talk to a stranger and make them comfortable quickly, that that's a skill that translates into what I do for work.
Kelly 51:39
It's also a skill to murder someone if you wanted to,
Scott Benner 51:42
yeah, but I'm not gonna do that. I just I like, I like practicing on people who wouldn't wait. This sounds terrible. I like talking to people who don't expect you to talk to them to see how quickly I can get them comfortable and engaged. But
Kelly 51:54
there are some people like me who are like, I refuse to get comfortable, because then what if you lure me into your big white van and,
Scott Benner 52:03
well, listen, there are people that you can't get comfortable. And then I go, Okay, well then I just look at them, and I go, okay, sorry. And I didn't go the way I expected. But you can also see like I understand you. You don't want to be abducted. Probably. Are you under five? Five? Kelly, what's going on? I'm not actually, no, and you still feel like you could be abducted. Yeah, well, no, I feel like my kids could be though I heard your kids are boring. Nobody wants
Unknown Speaker 52:29
they're cool. They're just not fun to hang out with. You know,
Scott Benner 52:33
I wish one of them would bring weed to the UNO party, but they're not cool enough. Scott, like, I'm just telling you some people have, like, social anxieties and stuff like that, I feel like you can sometimes see that in their face. Like, I'm not approaching somebody who looks like they've got their head down and they're talking to like, their Maga key chain. Do you know what I'm saying? No offense, no offense to those of you with the Maga key chain. Like, I also don't just like, jump people, like, out of nowhere. Sometimes people make eye contact and you're like, you can tell like we're thinking the same thing,
Kelly 53:02
right? I'm the person that will like, all like smirk at people all like smile. I might even like do a wave, you know, if we're like, walking past each other and we accidentally make eye contact, but I will absolutely not look up. I will not try to make eye contact or interact like I I probably look like an apple, but I like, I think that I like, I think that I grin, or like, you know, like, Oh, hey. Like, look, I'm a nice person, but no, I don't want you to
Scott Benner 53:27
talk to me. Is your husband more social? Sometimes? Yeah, sometimes. Okay, I've said this before, but like, when my son was younger, he'd give me crap all the time for talking to people, but he's like that. He talks to people, he would like he's he's very private, but if you get him relaxed, he'll talk to anybody. Yeah,
Kelly 53:45
I mean, I'll relax and talk to people if I've drank, but I don't really drink, so I don't think
Scott Benner 53:50
it's a drink thing, yeah. Like, I could if I drank, but I don't drink. So no, no one's talking to me.
Kelly 53:56
I'm not gonna run to the grocery store with a fifth in my pocket. Like, how
Scott Benner 54:00
much of your time Do you worry that somebody's gonna snatch your kid seriously? Like, a percentage or, like, is it a thing you consider when you're in public? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Is this a thing that happens a lot where you live? There
Kelly 54:11
have been things, yeah, in the town that we lived in previously, we were thankfully not in town, but like, there was, like, a mass shooting at a Walmart that we frequented, like the Walmart that we went to. So, like, there's just bigger things that I'm like, Yeah, I'd rather just not look at people like, yeah, that's
Scott Benner 54:29
terrible. I mean, listen, there was that news story last week. There's three teenage girls plotted to kill their mom for turning off the Wi Fi. What they chased her with knives around the house the shit around outside to get away from Oh, my God, I didn't hear that. Like, three sisters, I think, like, 14, 1516, like in that age range. Yeah. Mom shut off the Wi Fi and they they went after
Speaker 1 54:50
that's the mom that stands out front of the house for the news station. Says, I didn't see it coming. Yeah.
Scott Benner 54:55
And then the neighbors across the street going, how could you not have seen this coming? But. How dare you turn off the Wi Fi. You people are out of your minds. You just took your meth away from your meth heads. Like, come on. Of course they got mad, but I wonder if it's more male female. Yeah, probably. Like, I don't know if I could defend myself against a an abduction, but I know that I would try. Like, I don't have a fear that somebody's gonna take me, I guess, right?
Kelly 55:20
I think it probably is. I mean, I think there's definitely things like that that that females face, that others probably don't
Scott Benner 55:27
archetype question if they would have said, like, do you stand up for things like, in like, if you see a wrong done and it's got nothing to do with you, would you stand up about it?
Kelly 55:35
Well, it depends what it is and how my proximity to it. Yeah,
Scott Benner 55:39
I just said yes. It's like, I'm looking for an argument. Be awesome. Do you enjoy arguing with people,
Unknown Speaker 55:46
with my husband, or,
Scott Benner 55:49
listen, not a guy who you're punishing for loving you? I'm talking about just like
Kelly 55:56
a, like, a debate. No, for the most part, no, I'm very like, avoidant. Okay,
Scott Benner 56:00
yeah, no, I would love to argue about anything. Like, seriously, one of the things I'm let down by that I have a diabetes podcast. I wish I was just one of those people, like, just talking on the internet so that, like, I could, like, just say stupid things to people and have them say stupid things back, and then we could argue about it. I would love
Kelly 56:16
that. I mean, I would like to follow along with that. I like, listen and watch that, but I don't usually like to be involved.
Scott Benner 56:22
Yeah, I forget what the question was in the task where it was like, Do you enjoy, like, arguing with people, whatever the scale was that you had to vote on? I was like, I don't feel like there's some positive enough answer here. I don't want to be in the street yelling like, you know, with people, but like, I love it. Like, I really love just talking through things, and like passionately talking through things,
Kelly 56:43
like online, on Instagram, or whatever. I like watching people do that. I just don't like to be the one to do it. You don't want
Scott Benner 56:50
to be the one to do it. Yeah, I don't care about all that. I really want to be the one to do it. I guess I have an opinion I'm trying to share. I guess that's what, like a psychologist would say, like, why are you so comfortable. Would you do grow up well or something? Are you asking me? Oh yeah, you didn't, though, right? Oh, God no, no, that's right. I remember now. Sorry, you're just comfortable. Did people shout you down as a kid? Probably
Kelly 57:17
sorry. I, you know, I honestly have walked out most of it like you could ask me about my childhood. I'm like, I don't know. It probably happened. Probably happened
Scott Benner 57:23
at a birthday party when I was nine. I remember sleepover when I was 12.
Kelly 57:27
Literally, I have very few like, Yes, I know for sure that happened. Or, like, my sister and I talk regularly about, like, with my husband. It drives him nuts, because I can remember, like, any conversation. I'm like, You said we could have pizza on Thursday, and he's like, What, When did I what? Why do you remember that my sister and I have determined that it's all like trauma related, because we have a parent who, you know, will change the story and and whatever. So our brains have just been rewired to just remember all the details of of any conversation. But as far as like, our actual, like, memories of what happened in life, that'll have clue. So your mom, I'm sorry, I'm just guessing good assumption. Yeah, go ahead.
Scott Benner 58:12
So your mom would move the goal posts all the time, and if she got caught or she couldn't come through, she'd just lie right on. Yeah, yeah, that sucks. Yeah. A lot of like, we're going, Oh, she still does it. Oh,
Kelly 58:23
yeah, yeah, we're actually not speaking, but yeah, oh, she does. You didn't yell at her yet and make her stop. I've just stopped responding. Actually, we It doesn't help your
Scott Benner 58:33
opinion. Obviously, she's not here. But is it purposeful? Like, is it a control thing, or is she just like all over the place and covering herself
Kelly 58:43
both, it's very much control, but also she wants to make herself look and sound better. So
Scott Benner 58:50
interesting. Yeah, wonder why that happens. Yeah,
Kelly 58:54
I wonder that too, but I don't, I don't, I don't wonder enough to want to figure it out anymore. I did for years, and now I'm just like, you'd rather just not deal with it. It's not maybe that's why I don't like to argue, because there was never a point where it changed, like
Scott Benner 59:09
her, her mind, yeah, even if you were right, you weren't going to win. Right
Kelly 59:13
exactly. So, I mean, because for forever, I mean, I would get so worked up about every, you know, whatever thing I might have been passionate, might have been important to me as a child and a young, younger adult, I mean, and eventually it just got to the point where I'm like, you know, even my husband, who's he's been dealing with it, obviously, a lot less time than I have, and he would always be like, Well, I mean, what if you just say this to her, and I'm like, No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. Where I'm not it doesn't. It doesn't help. It's not worth my effort anymore. So you
Scott Benner 59:46
feel like you hear that story a lot, like, you know other women, right? Like, besides your sister. So like, do a lot of people have this story, or do they not share it? If they do, I
Kelly 59:54
don't know of a lot of people that that talk about that. I think I know a lot of people that you know. Don't still willingly talk to their their parents. So
Scott Benner 1:00:04
I love the way you just said that, wait, was your mama? You your mom a drinky, a little drinky when
Kelly 1:00:09
I was younger, yes, but not anymore, really. I mean, she will drink now, but not like, heavily.
Scott Benner 1:00:15
Yeah, it's all very interesting this. See, this is the stuff like, if you guys weren't, like, so hung up on, like, the diabetes stuff. Like, I would talk, I would talk more about, like, these things. I would like, be like, get your mom on. I want to argue
Kelly 1:00:27
with her. That would be amazing. I would tune in for so long.
Scott Benner 1:00:32
I would be like, your daughter gave me these three things that really bother her. She doesn't feel like she can talk about them. I'm gonna argue with you about them now. Well, Scott argues for you. That's a great podcast. Uh,
Kelly 1:00:45
my God, I mean, a little spin off would be okay. I'd listen. I think a lot of people probably would. Kelly,
Scott Benner 1:00:51
I have to tell you, like one of the things that like scares me the most is a business person that I do business with, right? And they come to me about every four weeks and say, Scott, I think what people like most about your podcast is you. And I think you should go in other directions, not with this podcast. Like, don't change this. You should start another one and do this here or something. And I'm like, you don't realize like, and I think it's lovely that he thinks that, and if he's listening, I really appreciate that you feel like that, I don't think it takes into account the randomness that success is. I could go make a great podcast, but it doesn't mean anybody will hear it, and it doesn't mean it'll pop off. It doesn't mean it'll get anywhere. And like, I gotta be honest with you, like, I don't have the time to make a podcast for 150
Kelly 1:01:36
people, right? What if that was just your hobby, though? Like, what if this was your job, and then doing that because you said you would enjoy it, like arguing with people and and having arguments for them, like that was your hobby, because it's something that you enjoy Fair enough.
Scott Benner 1:01:50
Then my next concern would be that parts of my personality that don't mesh well with this podcast would turn people off about me, but
Kelly 1:01:58
those people wouldn't listen then they would only listen to the diabetes one, right, maybe. And
Scott Benner 1:02:04
I'm not saying I'd say anything crazy. Like, it's not like people are listening, like, well, what are you gonna say? I mean, I want to know, but not gonna be something insane. Like, I'm like, hey, you know, I think, like, those Nazis had a point, like, it's not gonna be anything like that, right? Because I don't have those feelings. But like, my politics probably aren't the way you think they are. And, like, the things I think about the world probably aren't like what you think about the world. I'm just one of those people that thinks, if you own a grocery store, you don't go out into the town square and tell people that you're a Democrat or a Republican, because you're trying to sell groceries to everybody. Do
Kelly 1:02:34
you think that would come up in arguments with like, my mother, though? Well,
Scott Benner 1:02:39
no, do you really think you could get your mom set up for this? Because I would do this. I would do this. No, it wouldn't. But people will dig through like opinions and say, Oh, I think that this clearly means that if he said that, then he definitely thinks this about that, and this about this, the read
Kelly 1:02:53
between the lines and not even necessarily be correct. Yes, yeah, 1,000,000%
Scott Benner 1:03:00
by the way, I believe most of us are this, but it's a dirty word to some people. I'm so moderate, it's probably boring. Listen, if you're spraying paint on a Tesla dealership, I see your point. And if you're over there going like, I want the tariffs to be 100% because I want to bring manufacturing blob like I see, I see people's points. I don't judge them. Like, so I'm one of those people that's like, I get why you feel that way, and that does make sense to me, but I don't feel pressure to, like, blend your ideas into my ideas, right? Like, you know, I mean, like, I think my opinions about stuff like that are probably pretty boring. I
Kelly 1:03:39
would like to think that's most people. I don't know that it is. But, I mean, I think that I tend to be, you know, that way too, like I can see where you're coming from, and I love to hear it. I don't agree with you. I'm not going to adapt my my thoughts to what you said, but I still it lets me know about you. I don't, I don't judge you for it, but I also might impact a relationship that I have with a person we
Scott Benner 1:04:02
said to chat, GPT, right now, what are the 10 biggest like, social issues going on right now? Right? Like the stuff that you see being thrown around on the online, on Twitter, on like, things like that, right? That list would sound something like trans kids playing sports. It would sound something like Elon Musk being involved in the government. It would sound something like war in Israel and this and that, I think if I gave you my opinions and all those, you'd be like, that's very boring and common sense. Thank you. But I think that people on the fringes of every one of those ideas would find a way to turn your opinion into your Hitler. Do you know what I mean, right from both sides, like, if you gave a down the middle opinion on something, then the people on the fringes are able to go, Well, if you weren't willing to stick up for that, then you must be this, right? That's boring to me, and that's how most content creators make a living. If they take the social issues that are out in front in people's minds, they pick a side so that. The people on that side will agree with them, and the people on the other side of it will call them Hitler, and that's how they stay popular.
Kelly 1:05:06
But then if you're down the middle, do you not possibly
Scott Benner 1:05:10
reach into everybody? Yeah, you just know, you just piss everybody off, and no one agrees with you. But that's we've
Kelly 1:05:16
learned. If, if they're in the comment section, then your post gets boosted.
Scott Benner 1:05:22
Yeah, but I'm getting older and like, so what happens then is, like, everyone online disagrees with you, and all the people, who is probably the majority of the people walking around who agree with you are not busy online, so I can't go to their house and have this conversation, and I definitely can't sell an ad on it. So like, I'm a little screwed. You imagine if I showed up at a moderate person's house had a reasonable agreement with them about something, and then for 60 seconds, said to them, us. Med, us. Med.com/juicebox, you can get your supplies the same way my daughter does from us. Med, they'd be like, Why is he saying this in the living room? But that really is the problem is that me and everyone else who's doing something like this, like they're delivering you, like some people are delivering real opinions to you. Some people are delivering real information to you. Some of them are just because of what you said earlier. Like, I don't want to be in this fight, but I love watching people have it, like, That's Entertainment, and so you piss a bunch of people off. Agree with a bunch of other people. Everyone in the middle isn't online, and what you get is the people who hate you, the people who love you, and the people who just like to watch the thing burn. And then you make money off of that, like, by reading ads the middle of it. Like, that's the world, like, like it or not. I don't love it, by the way. I like bringing people good information about diabetes. And it's, you know, I sell ads, because if I didn't, then I couldn't spend my time making the podcast. You know what I mean? Rob's not free, is what I'm saying, right? Yeah, I was thinking Rob's probably like, Hey, don't hang this on me. It's not just rob. It's like a light bill. And I would love to argue online, but I don't know how to pay for
Speaker 1 1:07:03
it. So if I find you a sponsor for an arguing podcast, you would take on my mom. Oh, my
Scott Benner 1:07:08
God, absolutely. Listen, our biggest problem, our biggest problem. Listen, I'm about to talk like this is like, it's the 80s, and I'm talking I ran contour here. But the problem is that you do have people who have great opinions, but the people in the middle, they're not online looking for them. You're making something that there's no one to give it to, and that ends up being why you see what's going on. Like, people just calling each other names so that you'll agree with them or disagree with them. That's all, that's all they want. Like, there's, it's, it's massive. Like, obviously in politics, it's, it's huge on YouTube, yeah, especially right now, yeah, you just pick somebody on their side, call them a name, and then tell everybody why you think that. And everybody who agrees with you is, like, right on, this is awesome. It's the best thing that's ever happened, because this guy's so right about this. And then some people hate listen to you. Yeah, yeah, that's it. And then click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and that's it. Anyway. So I'm just gonna make a diabetes podcast, because I think that it helps people, and I like helping people, but I do wish I could argue more.
Kelly 1:08:13
Do you think that you would ever concede like, Do you ever do you think you would take on, like my mom with whatever, you know, three very, very minute points that I were to give you. Do you think that there would ever be a time where she could make a point and you'd be like, You know what? You're right. You're not a piece of
Scott Benner 1:08:29
probably, I mean, I'm sure you're wrong about some of it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, not, probably not the big parts. But like, you know, I imagine if I talked to her long enough, you could find the pathway to how she got where she was, and it might create enough compassion that you'd say, Oh God, I see how this happened. Like, I can't let it go because of what it did to me, right? But I get how we got here. I wish she would have made different decisions along the way. And I think maybe, like, it wouldn't turn you into like, oh my god, it's Christmas morning. Make sure my mom's here to see the kids. It might make you feel better about her. And you probably call her once in a while and be like, Hey, happy birthday, right? You know? Because right now, may I Oh yeah, yeah, she's somewhere. She doesn't know all the things she did wrong. She would tell me they didn't happen. No, I'm sure, yeah, I'm saying that right now she's sitting somewhere right or wrong, and she doesn't believe she did anything wrong, or she's told right? Yeah. And so in her mind, what's really happening is her ungrateful kid isn't talking to her 100%
Unknown Speaker 1:09:30
Yeah, yeah.
Scott Benner 1:09:33
Everybody with their feelings and their thoughts, we got to mix them all together and try to make sense. It's impossible. Yeah, yeah. Really isn't easy. Like, the only thing keeping us together, may I for sure, sex and safety.
Speaker 1 1:09:49
That's pretty which I get neither of from my mother. So, no,
Scott Benner 1:09:52
no, no, but, well, thank god no. But what I'm saying is, is that, like, Listen, I've been married 30 years. The other night we. We were sitting down, me and Arden and Kelly and taking this little quiz thing. Kelly answered a question, and I said something, and she goes, that's not right. I was like, lady, I've known you since you were 20 years old. This is 100% right. And then you'd see Arden like, math thing. And she goes, but you've known her for 30 years? And I was like, yeah, and she was such a long time. And I was like, I know it is a long time, but Kelly was like, looking like, oh, yeah, I know. Listen, you meet a boy or a girl when you're however old you're a kid. And like, there's that exciting part of it, like, and you live in the exciting for a while, and then eventually you're like, well, we gotta have a place to live. And then, oh, a baby comes out. And you're
Speaker 1 1:10:39
like, and then you're hitched for life. At that point, it's good, and you're like, what I can't
Scott Benner 1:10:42
get out of here. We own this house together, but we can't leave because, you know, and I do love him, but like and she like. That all happens, and then you live through that for 10 or 15 years, while you're raising your kids, right? And some people like then mature through it. And then some people don't mature through it. Like, you know what I mean? Listen, I've only been
Kelly 1:11:02
married 10 years. I'm just kidding. Yeah, actually, I have actually only been married for 10 years, but I know what you're saying. I'm there with you.
Scott Benner 1:11:08
Listen, there's nothing bad about it. It's all very natural. You're not gonna bang like kids your whole life. And if you are, stop doing so much cocaine, like you have to continue to find value in how your life progresses and find joy in it as you're moving forward. But it's hard to, like, give up the fun part, and especially as it goes away more and more, you romanticize it more as it being fun. Like, Does that all make sense? It does. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. See, I'm a very sensible person, but I don't think that's a reason to leave a lady when she's 40, by the way, that's a reason to go like, hey, people change. He changed, I changed. But we put a lot of effort into this together, and there's a ton of stuff about us that's awesome. It's just not as fun. Yeah,
Kelly 1:11:56
as long as you change it like similar rates, I think it's okay, yeah,
Scott Benner 1:12:01
no, it'll probably be fine. Probably, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, but at the same time, like, sometimes it doesn't go that way, like sometimes people, like, mature faster or slower, or the thing that they miss is so important to them that they think, like, Oh, I'll go do it again. But the truth is, it's like, Listen, I don't want to generalize, but guys do that, right? Like, you everyone knows a guy who's been married three times, yeah, yeah. And they're always going back to like, the fun part, like, so they do the fun part, and then they leave, and then they do the fun part, then they leave, and then they do the fun part, then they then eventually they get too old and they stay. So they've ruined three ladies lives that have the fun part three times. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true, yeah. And I also think, like, while we're, you know, I think sometimes ladies can sometimes. I think boys become men because women make them sometimes, yeah, okay. And I also think that sometimes women don't know when to stop trying to make you into something else. That's fair. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a fair thing to say, right? Like, I'm here now. I pay the mortgage. I'm a good guy. I don't cheat on you. You can stop fixing me.
Kelly 1:13:12
But it's like, it's like, it just got, it's got so much better. When we started fixing it, they're like, How much better can we make it? You know? You know,
Scott Benner 1:13:19
no, you get maniacal. Then you think, like, now you're like, the Mona Lisa doesn't need a touch up. It's done.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
Calling yourself the Mona Lisa right now.
Scott Benner 1:13:28
No, I'm making the point that you don't have to move a hair. You know what? I mean, like, it looks the same one way or the other. Like there was a moment where he's like, do you want to go four wheeling in the woods and then have sex? And you were like, I know, but Okay, can we stop doing this in a muddy place, and then, like, you know, like, you fix that, and you're like, maybe I could get him to get a car instead of a motorcycle, like, you do that kind of stuff. Like, but at the end, like, he's a good guy and he's a good dad, and like, he loves you, and like, it's so like, leave me alone. Now, let me be myself for a little while.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:55
When did you speak with my husband?
Scott Benner 1:14:00
Listen, these are not hard things to figure out. It's just in the in the last 10 years, we got so accustomed to telling everybody that they were special, we forgot that generalizations, generally speaking, are pretty accurate. Everybody's not the same, but sure they are,
Kelly 1:14:14
but nobody's special and everybody's special, yeah, yeah, you're
Scott Benner 1:14:17
special in lovely ways. Like, don't get me wrong, I know you're special, but, like, we all fit into a category for sure. Yeah, right, so I just happen to be a king. Sorry, it's trying to be funny to make myself laugh thinking of you being uncomfortable. Yeah, that's the etymology of that. Like I said that to amuse myself at how other people would either take it poorly or not. Wow, that is a really good look into how my mind works. I'm not trying to make you laugh. I'm making myself laugh. Wondering how you're gonna see what happens. Let me just poke this and see what happens. Oh, my God, that's hilarious. Yeah, anyway, like just be nice to each other and you're not gonna have as much. Sex as you get older, and just stay together. It's fine. You're fine. The kids grow up eventually, right, right. Don't be a dick while you're doing it, too. You know what I mean? You don't have to be told, like, just because it's not, like, super fun time. Sometimes it's fun to be although, yeah, but get a podcast for that. You don't need to, like, need to do it to the guy who's paying your bills, or the lady who, when you were 18, agreed to lay on her back in the mud. Remember she did that and just fcking treat her nicely, not that hard. My wife was put up with so much that I'd let her stab me twice before I left, as she was stabbed me. I think she she's owed this.
Speaker 1 1:15:43
My husband would concur. Yeah, he would say the exact same thing. Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:15:46
No kidding, yeah. No, no. I'm like, not for nothing. You know what? I mean, my wife's been with me on a desk. I don't know she deserves some credit, and she's trying to kill me with her like, goal post moving and like, making me a better person all the time, and I deserve credit for not putting in her shallow grave. Like, I think we all deserve credit, don't you? I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, all right. Listen, Hey, your kid had diabetes, right? I forget that part. Sorry about that. Hey, listen, once in a while, one of these has to go this way, and this one was that one. What are we going to call this one? Whatever you want. You call it Kelly's mom. It's mentally unstable.
Kelly 1:16:27
Listen, even my therapist agrees like I talk, you know, we talk. And he's like, Oh, yeah. So have you ever heard of, you know, this psychiatric thing? And I'm like, Yep, sure.
Scott Benner 1:16:38
No kidding. Well then listen, that'll be a good description for this episode. Uh, Kelly's therapist agrees that her mom is a gas lighter. Is that fine? Can I write that be a long title, but yeah, but we'll just probably call this one archetype. No. How's that going to get them into like they deserve to hear the story about your kid going from stage to stage? Yeah?
Kelly 1:16:59
I mean, there was, there was a lot there. I think it feels like it's been a lot. I don't know if I talked about it all properly, but
Scott Benner 1:17:05
just so people understand how I'm producing this episode. We did such a good job on the stages thing and how you felt and everything. I was like, Oh, we can do tomfoolery at the end. It'll be nice.
Kelly 1:17:15
Yeah. I definitely just, I feel like the like, honeymoon shit that we were dealing with. This was just like the on again off again relationship that nobody asked for, like, just, hey, let's just watch it. Oh, no, we're not gonna touch it yet. Okay, now treat it. No, don't treat it. No, don't treat it. Okay. Now treat it again. Let's see what his body does and oh, my god, yeah,
Scott Benner 1:17:36
that's crazy. All right. Well, listen, let's leave everybody with a takeaway that'll help them. Ladies, good luck not turning into your moms. Guys, you know, don't be just, just be cool, like she put up with a lot. And you know, I just think you should say, thank you. That's all. I actually feel that way, like any girl who's ever been kind enough to take their clothes off in front of me, I'm like, That girl deserves a lot of credit. I wouldn't have done this for me. Here's what I'm saying. This is very, very kind of you. So almost how, like, every encounter should end, it should end with me going, this was very kind of you. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:12
That would be insulting, honestly, like,
Scott Benner 1:18:15
because you did it with me, and now I'm like, You shouldn't have done
Kelly 1:18:18
this. No, like, for you to be like, that was so nice of you. Thank you not like, wow, that was amazing. I'm so glad we did that. But like, Well, that was nice of you. I'd be like, Oh, okay, no,
Scott Benner 1:18:26
I feel like that part comes out during the act. During the act, if you're not acting as if it's awesome, I don't think you're paying attention. Even bad pizza is great. But I'm saying that when you get to the end, like, you should just say, like, look, I realized there had to have been better guys to do this with, and I really appreciate you doing
Unknown Speaker 1:18:41
this. You know, that was really challenging for you.
Scott Benner 1:18:45
I mean, I saw that, like, Netflix just took over that horrible show where they bring couples in and then send hot people to try to steal them from them. What's that called? I don't have a clue. I'll figure it out. Hold a second, because Arden's like, I don't want to watch this show, but I am going to watch the first episode and I was working love Island, I don't know it Okay, well, so here's what happens, my God, Rob's like, I'm gonna charge you extra for this. Like, you should, Rob. Seriously, love Island, they basically bring in they bring in couples, and the couples are attractive, right? But they're not models. Does that make sense? Okay? And then they're usually couples who have been together for a while, but don't commit to each other. And, you know, they end up coming in and like, the guys saying stuff like, well, you know, like, like, you know, you know, I want to make sure she's the right one. Like, three and a half years later, what he's saying is, like, I really would like to have sex with different people, but I know she's awesome, and I shouldn't let her go. Like, these are really terrible people. And then and the woman's like, so like, I feel so bad because they just don't have the confidence to say, I should be treated better, right? So they're like, I need the guy to do something that proves to me that he's not going to cheat
Speaker 1 1:19:56
on me. I need him to give me permission to leave by sleeping with. Someone else, and
Scott Benner 1:20:00
now they're there. And then they bring in girls in bikinis that look like they were made in a laboratory. And these girls are there to try to temp the guys away from the women. And so they bring the girls out, and the guys, of course, like their jaws drop on the ground like an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. And the girls are saying, like, Gracie things, and they're in thongs, and they go over to the guys and put, like, a bracelet on them. They're like, here i You're the one. I'm gonna go after the guys. They're sitting next to their women. They're touching leg to leg, acting like they're not there. This is, by the way, what it would be like to be at a strip club with a guy, by the way, because he's just like, Oh, hi. How are you? And like, I'm like, oh my god, your girlfriend's sitting next to you. You've known her for five years. This is awesome. That all happens. The women are incensed, and then the guys, they're not smart enough to play it forward a half an hour to when they bring out the guys that are going to try to take their women from them. And then the guys come out, and then all the boyfriends are like, Oh God, that. Like, can they put their shirts back on? Like, that kind of stuff. Because these guys are just like, I mean, they're on a reality show on Netflix. They obviously just do sit ups for a living, so that's happening, and then they put them in dating situations and video it, and then show the video to each other. So
Kelly 1:21:09
do they come onto the show knowing, like, what they're doing? Do they think they're coming onto this show to, like, secure their relationship, or do they know that they're both going to be tempted and they're just waiting to see what happens. So
Scott Benner 1:21:22
Arden and I had a long conversation about that, and we should probably make it into a podcast, because we were trying to, like, decide, like, is this just production? Like, did the producers just tell them? Like, are these just people who want to be famous? You know, is that girl? Like, I'm just gonna try to gain 50,000 Instagram followers from I saw go on love Island. I don't really care about this guy anyway. Like, you know what I mean, like, or as a couple, are they trying to be? Are they really couples? Or is it just all fake? Like, we couldn't tell.
Kelly 1:21:46
I mean, Google says there's 11 seasons and, I mean, I hadn't heard of it before, so maybe. But how are you applying to be on a show and you don't know what the show is about and what's going to happen? Like, how do you not look at the previous 10 seasons before applying for the 11th
Scott Benner 1:22:02
Yeah, my point is, is that the people who went on survivor in season one were like, I'm gonna go on a game show where I live on an island and try to outlast everybody. But the people who went on survivor in season 30 were like, I'm gonna be famous, right? By the way, it doesn't work, but that's what they thought, like, I'll pump up my social status. Like, I mean, who goes into like, what's that one the Big Brother house? Like, who's doing that? It's like a half a million dollar prize to live in there for three months after taxes. You could probably just get a decent job and make that money. It's a weird thing, not in three months, by the way. People are like, Oh, Scott, making a couple 100 grand every three months. I'm not, like, you know what? I mean? Like, a decent job, work hard. I think you could do okay in a year, and none of you are gonna win. Like, one of you is gonna randomly win. The rest you get nothing. I don't know. I think it's about social credit. I think that's what they're going for. But my point is, if you are actually a couple, even if you don't cheat, even if you do nothing, I don't think it matters. I think your I think your relationship ruined the minute you get there, don't you
Speaker 1 1:22:59
by exposing yourself to this situation in the first place. Yeah, because what if
Scott Benner 1:23:03
there's video, Kelly, what if we go, you and I go, Okay, it's my wife's name's Kelly. So this will be easy for me to imagine. Kelly and Scott Go, go on love island together. We've been together for four or five years. You're not sure if I'm going to commit to you. I have a wandering eye, and I'm not sure if you're right for me, because this is pretty much the like vibe of these people. But
Kelly 1:23:19
I would hope, if we'd been together for four or five years, even if we weren't going to be married, that like you would be committed at that point, like it's not a month in, where you're not sure where you stand with each other.
Scott Benner 1:23:29
It was eight seconds of a girl in the thong, and one of those guys forgot that he was sitting next to a person. I'm telling you. He was like, he was like, God damn. Look at that. You could hear him mumbling under his breath. I was like, Dude together, yeah. So anyway, so you and I are on the show and, like, we don't cheat. But later you see video. I see video of you six champagnes in considering the cheating in a group date night, and there's a guy leaning in on your shoulder talking to you, and you've got one foot up on the wall. How am I coming back from that after I saw that, right, right? And you have the same thing, I'm on a boat, and there's a girl in a thong sitting on my lap, but I never cheated on you. How you coming back from that?
Kelly 1:24:10
Do the girlfriends that come on the show with them? They go girls, and the guys that came on the show together, they split off and go on these racy dates with Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:24:19
they split them off, and then they drip models on top of them and give them alcohol so
Kelly 1:24:24
they don't stay, because you said originally that they're sitting next to the person that they came with. When they are they're introduced, and then they start introducing
Scott Benner 1:24:30
you, yeah, boom. Then gone, yeah, okay. And then they show you video of like one another. So in a party atmosphere, even the the most benign thing that doesn't end in sex is gonna look bad, right? And then how am I supposed to forget that that happened? How do I believe you when I say to you, Hey, I just saw a video where it looked like a guy was eating your ear. That wasn't really happening, right? You go, No, we didn't do anything. Then what do I go, okay, my husband
Kelly 1:24:55
would be sitting in a corner, literally facing the wall, like he's in time out, playing. Will keep on going like, I don't want to be a part of any of this. All the video
Scott Benner 1:25:03
you're going to find to me is me staring into this corner because I'm going home and keeping my house. Actually, I'm hoping Kelly does something weird, because I'm going to take the house from her. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like all we've learned today is, I don't know what we learned here. Never mind, although I will tell you this. Anyone still listening? You people would love my new podcast that I know for sure. Oh my god, I have so many thoughts about so many things. I just hold them inside, or they bother my family with them.
Kelly 1:25:35
Maybe love island would sponsor your new podcast where I
Scott Benner 1:25:39
just make fun of the people on love Island, exactly. Why wouldn't they a dumber group of people? Like, I just, I can't imagine, like, I really can't imagine what your thought process it has to be that you're trying to be famous. It's just too easy to, like, have a measure of fame. Like, there is a Kelly we live in a world where, in a certain place, I have fame that's ridiculous. Like, genuinely ridiculous. Famous people are supposed to be. Brad Pitt, famous people are supposed to be Susan Sarandon, these are famous people, not me, not Scott No, I did what I did right now with you. I'm good at this. Like, don't get me wrong. I love it to death. I enjoy it very much. I make a nice living from it. Like all that's good, but I did it while a chameleon, I like, just remember, like, that's not a thing that rises to the level of fame. Do you understand what I'm saying? Maybe it shouldn't be. We've ruined fame, is what I'm saying. We've ruined it. Yeah, giving it to everybody, we're literally going to make it go away.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:39
That. I mean, is that all bad, though, either? Actually,
Scott Benner 1:26:42
let's write that down. That'd be an awesome episode with Arden. Like, because if we follow this out, like, initially, it ruined fame, right? Like, it's just not hard, like, I accomplished with $300 what Howard Stern went to college for and worked at 17 terrible radio stations to get to. You know what? I mean, yeah. But like, if you stretch this out another 200 years, will this, like, come back around, like a snake eat its own tail and we'll get rid of fame, or will fame just look different? Will it just keep morphing? I
Kelly 1:27:10
mean, I wouldn't put you, like, on the same fame level as you know, the Brad Pitt that you're mentioning, right? But no,
Scott Benner 1:27:18
not today. No, of course not, but the version of me 40 years from now. I don't think the version of Brad Pitt exists 40 years from now. Well, yeah. And I think that's kind of a shame, a little bit like, because now nothing special.
Kelly 1:27:33
I will say, I feel like there's not any like new like, there. There are like, you know, the the Johnny Depp's, the Brad Pitts, but then you look behind them and it's like, I don't know. I don't know any of you. I've seen you in one movie before. I don't nobody. Nobody's big.
Scott Benner 1:27:45
Yeah, would I care about Timothee Chalamet? That's my thing. No, stop it. It's not the same thing. Brad Pitt is on ads in other countries where they don't speak English. That's the kind of fame I'm talking about. But do you think you would do that? No, of course not. That couldn't possibly be me. That man's so pretty. Are you? You're popular in a lot of countries, though, yeah, but not He's so pretty. Like, that's not the same thing. Do you think they would
Kelly 1:28:12
put you on, like a Dexcom commercial in some other country, though? No, because I don't have diabetes. You talk enough about you slap a Dexcom on. Nobody would question it now that I
Scott Benner 1:28:22
would, first of all, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't do that. Don't put that on me. And like, secondly, secondly, like, no, that's like, Listen, I have a lot of advertisers. You don't see many of them bring me places publicly, though, so they know that all of you listen, they'll buy ad here because they can reach people. But if they're going to go out into the public they're not going to hold me up because I don't have diabetes, and rightfully so. Yeah, do you think
Speaker 1 1:28:45
everyone in their commercials does have diabetes? I guess I don't see Dexcom commercials that much. I
Scott Benner 1:28:49
believe that everybody they put in their commercials has diabetes, and I think that the social media influencers that they bring to things have diabetes. Now, having said that, there is a company who's taking me to children with diabetes this year, so, but I'm going to talk to kids.
Kelly 1:29:06
My kids had so much fun. We went to touch by type one conference, and they had so much fun listening to you.
Scott Benner 1:29:11
Awesome. Now that's what we're so what we're going to do is go down. I'm going to basically, like, do a like, put a bunch of kids in a room with diabetes, and like, do like a podcast with them, like, with a I don't know how it's gonna sound, but like a giant group of kids, and then I'll be available to, like, talk with families and, like, like, do pictures with kids and stuff like that. Like, you're gonna actually record it. We're gonna try. Yeah, we're gonna see it. I mean, it might just sound like a bunch of screaming kids. I don't know if it's gonna work or not, but that's one of the things we still have to work out. And it might just be a thing for them there. If we can't get it recorded, then we won't get it recorded otherwise. Yeah, so, and that's nice, but that's one company in 20 years who's like, Yeah, you should come. Like, can you imagine, I've never been to children with diabetes before. That's ridiculous, isn't it? I wouldn't have guessed that. Yeah, right. I've never been there, so they don't want me. Nobody's looking for me to speak
Speaker 1 1:29:58
at that, but they're only. Are they only letting you speak to kids? Or was that your choice? That's what
Scott Benner 1:30:02
I said. I thought would be most interesting. Okay, I'm great with kids. Like, I won't say a lot of the stuff I said here, I would hope not. Yeah, when I focus on children, I'm very good with children. I don't know that's not the point. The point is we've ruined fame. Like, because it shouldn't be that easy. Like, when the world goes crazy, I think there should be a handful of people to look to, not literally countless people who you just keep, like filtering through till you find the person that you absolutely agree with. Because you haven't heard a different opinion. Then you just heard your opinion. You just finally found your opinion being parroted back to you. You know what I mean, like, so when you were famous, when there was actual fame, something would happen in the world, and there was a handful of places to go to hear commentary about it. And then you had to decide, of that commentary, what did you find valuable? What do you agree with, disagree with? How much of it are you going to adapt or not adapt to the way you think? But instead, now you just go to YouTube and you just follow somebody you agree with, and then that's it. You don't have to think it's all just them reinforcing how you feel. And I think that, like, once people got this is gonna sound incredibly hypocritical, but once you could put a microphone and a camera in someone's house. I know I'm arguing against myself here, but that's fine. Like once you could do that, you ruined what fame was, and then you took away the idea that there somebody had to work hard to become thoughtful on a subject, and that they had to go through the court of community to decide if their voice was valuable or not, because if it wasn't, it would go away, and then somebody else would get a chance. Like, does that make sense? Yeah.
Kelly 1:31:39
But I also think that you have enough information and valuable experience that people are listening to for a reason. There's a reason that your podcast is better than the others
Scott Benner 1:31:49
listen. Kelly, I didn't want to be the one to say that, but yeah, of course. Like, I'm doing a good job, but like, but there are also 50 other people doing a bad job at it, right?
Kelly 1:32:00
But isn't that a level of fame that you have will say higher than the others, because you have the experience and the and the knowledge and everything that maybe they do, maybe they don't, but you're also good at what you do, so like, you have more fame than that person. So that still kind of exists. There might be some people that listen. I've never heard any others. So, I mean, I'm not comparing one to the other, so I don't know who anyone else is. I'm
Scott Benner 1:32:24
also not saying that there's not other people doing it well, right? I've said this a couple times on here, but I used to keep track of it, and I've stopped a long time ago, but I got to 110 that's 110 diabetes podcast that came after mine that have since become defunct. That's insane. I
Kelly 1:32:43
feel like you think about yourself, that you are the most successful because you were the first though, or is that accurate? I think
Scott Benner 1:32:51
that I have an advantage for I mean, there is, like, there's a thing called first movers. What do they call it? First movers? Something, something called first movers and second movers. So there's a theory that being the first mover just puts you in a position where nobody else can get to you because you're
Kelly 1:33:09
easier. But that's not why you're doing better going
Scott Benner 1:33:14
right? There's also an idea of second movers, which means that you got to see the first person do it wrong, and so that you could then say, All right, well, I see what's wrong here. I'll adjust, I guess. And so this is, see, this is very you're going to make me say something that is going to sound indelicate, but like, I think that it was definitely a benefit to go first. I also think that I am engaging and interesting, and I put on, and I think I'm a person who realized that just talking about diabetes wasn't going to cut it right, like, you're going to need to make this fun and entertaining and real and like and not make it sound like, like the local news. You know what I'm saying. So did
Kelly 1:33:54
that come naturally, or was that actually a conscious thought that you had when you started talking about it? That's
Scott Benner 1:33:59
just natural? Yeah, so I so you can't take credit for that, like, it's not like, I was like, You know what I should do? I understand, in hindsight, why it worked, but it's not like on day one, I was like, Well, what I'll do is I'll just be myself. I won't act like a talking head on like, you know, a local ABC affiliate, like, that kind of thing. But some people, I think, do that, and that's just natural for them. But I don't think that that lends to like, broad appeal. And so Moreover, what I realized was that the goal is to help people with their diabetes, so whatever keeps them in the information longer, so that they can learn it. That's what's most important. So if it's you and me making fun of your dad or your mom, or, you know, like me being a little salty sometimes, or me being like a little risque sometimes. Once in a while, I'll share how I feel, like, you know, about religion, and I'll get notes from people, and the notes are like, listen your diabetes, information is rock solid, but do not say how you feel about God or like this or that. Like, that's not okay. I. Listen anymore, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. I think just being me is what works. But if I sat down with this microphone 11 years ago and I was just being me about something else, and I didn't have a built in base of people, I don't think it would have gone anywhere. And I honestly think as popular as this podcast is right now, that if I started another podcast, I don't think it would be popular, because it's too hard to get going at this point, and nothing is viral anymore. Like there's no there's no such thing as organic growth that's fair. Yeah, yeah. You have to either be famous or you have to spend a shocking amount of money to get yourself to that level, and that money gets spent on Facebook ads and Instagram ads and Tiktok ads and stuff like that. You don't you all don't realize, but a lot of the stuff that you're watching was pumped up by money. It got you there to money. Right, right? I've had a lot of conversations recently with people who work at meta, so Facebook, Instagram, I've had conversations with people who do this professionally. What I've been told is like, because I'm looking for a way to make the podcast grow, and what I've been told is like, look, you've done such a good job, but there's no there's nothing left here. There's no fruit to pick off this tree. And I find that frustrating, because I like working towards more. I like to think that I'm getting up in the morning to help you guys, and then to and to build the podcast. Like, those are the two things I like to focus on. And I'm so worried that I've gotten to a point where, like, I can't make the podcast any bigger than it is, and that that'll take away some of the and this is gonna sound crazy, but some of the fun for me. Yeah, yeah. There's a little worrisome for me. But like, so I could start another podcast and no one will hear it. It's not the same as it used to be. Used to be on Facebook. You shared something, someone liked it, they'd re share it. That doesn't happen anymore. People don't share things on Facebook anymore. They don't comment on things. Some people do, but it's not at the mass that it used to be so that that's gone. Now you have to pay Facebook to show your stuff to people, and it's not cheap. So what I was told by the professional was, we could still grow your podcast, but you'd have to get an infusion of hundreds of 1000s of dollars to make it happen. And I was like, well, we're not gonna be able to do that. So thank you. All that money goes into ads, and it may or may not work. The person told me there's no organic growth anymore. You don't just show up do a thing, people like it, and it gets bigger. The algorithm decides if you get bigger or not. That's it. So anyway, that's a huge bummer, but I think that's how it all works though. Let's just be happy that we're here. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, that's all. I have no idea what we're talking about anymore. This is a long this is the longest podcast I've recorded in a while. I really appreciated this. I like talking to you absolutely me
Unknown Speaker 1:37:47
too. Yeah, all right, hold on one second.
Scott Benner 1:37:58
The conversation you just heard was sponsored by touched by type one. Check them out please. At touched by type one.org, on Instagram and Facebook, you're going to love them. I love them. They're helping so many people. At touched by type one.org, the podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by tandem diabetes care. Learn more about tandems, newest automated insulin delivery system, tandem Moby, with control iq plus technology at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox there are links in the show notes and links at Juicebox podcast.com. I'd like to thank the ever since 365 for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every 14 days. You want the ever since CGM, ever since cgm.com/juicebox, one year, one CGM.
Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong wayrecording.com. You.
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