#1545 Great, Stop, Fail

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Raylen shares her daughter’s diagnosis at age 2, lessons in resilience, and comic relief from viral video moments.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Welcome.

Raylyn 0:14
My name is Ray Lynn. I am the mother of a kiddo with type one

Scott Benner 0:19
if you or a loved one is newly diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're seeking a clear, practical perspective, check out the bold beginning series on the Juicebox Podcast. It's hosted by myself and Jenny Smith, an experienced diabetes educator with over 35 years of personal insight into type one our series cuts through the medical jargon and delivers straightforward answers to your most pressing questions, you'll gain insight from real patients and caregivers and find practical advice to help you confidently navigate life with type one. You can start your journey informed and empowered with the Juicebox Podcast, the bold beginning series and all of the collections in the Juicebox Podcast are available in your audio app and@juiceboxpodcast.com in the menu, nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. This is the meter that my daughter has on her person right now. It is incredibly accurate, and waiting for you at contour. Next.com/juicebox the episode you're listening to is sponsored by us Med, US med.com/juicebox, or call 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us med. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the twist a ID system powered by tide pool that features the twist loop algorithm, which you can target to a glucose level as low as 87 Learn more at twist.com/juicebox. That's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Get precision insulin delivery with a target range that you choose at twist.com/juicebox. That's t, w, i, i s, t.com/juicebox.

Raylyn 2:22
My name is Raelynn. I am the mother of a kiddo with type one. Awesome. It's

Scott Benner 2:27
nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Raylan, you have a fairly comprehensive list of things that you wanted to talk about here. We might have to start our own podcast, oh my gosh, and talk weekly to get through this. But

Raylyn 2:41
I know, apparently, like, I thought about this for a while, so when, like, you asked for people, I started to be like, No. And I was like, yeah. And so I just, like, followed my impulse. But we could talk about whatever you want about, or we could talk about none of it. Yeah, you

Scott Benner 2:55
wrote a book. I don't think it would be. It's not polite to ignore it. Let's just get a couple of Yeah. Where do you want to start? Well, tell me about your kid first. Okay, so

Raylyn 3:04
my kiddo, she is five now. She was diagnosed about a month after her second birthday. We don't really celebrate the diversity thing in our house. Kudos to people who do. But yesterday was the three year anniversary of when she was diagnosed. So I think she's officially over the tipping point of, you know, having the majority of her life with type one, and it's just part of our day, you know? I mean, like, I don't even think as a parent, I remember a I remember her before type one, but it doesn't feel like there's a delineation, you know what I mean, and caring for it and not, you know, it's just part of our life,

Scott Benner 3:43
and you don't care about the the ticking of time. But when it suddenly turned into She's had it longer than she hasn't had it, it hit you, yeah,

Raylyn 3:51
yeah. I think it's just a realization, you

Scott Benner 3:55
know, yeah, no, I understand it. Did it make you feel any sort of way? Not

Raylyn 3:58
terribly this week, I think, you know, a few weeks ago, it hit me a little bit. It's hard to put into words, because I think I'm kind of mainly looking toward the future for her. So I think it was more of like just a momentary realization, like, Oh, wow. And then even asking her last night, I was like, we talked about the hospital a little bit, because ironically, the book she pulled out for bedtime last night was her Rufus, the bear book you get from the JDRF for free. Rufus, yeah. Rufus, do you know Rufus, yeah. But we hadn't really talked about it being three years or any passage of time. And so as I ran to her, I was like, Do you remember being in the hospital for this? And she was like, No. So you know she has, it's just part of her life, and I think that's maybe a little bit of a blessing for her, you know? I mean, listen,

Scott Benner 4:46
I've thought about this, how they say six ways from Sunday, right? You can find positives in any story, amen. And for this one, your positives are things like, maybe they don't remember stuff like that. Maybe it just feels. Is normal and like, so, you know, it doesn't happen. I could also tell you, my kid was diagnosed when she was two, and, you know, she's 20 now, and she's like, struggling with, like, a needle phobia. And that's insane to me, because we might have stabbed her 10,000 times in the first couple years of her life. And right, you know, in a time where you would think, like, I don't know, like, maybe you'd get used to it, or maybe you just forget about it, or maybe, but no, something for her doesn't work. Actually, last night, I don't know if this will even come to fruition or not, like I looked into hypnosis last night. Oh yeah, you know, maybe we can get her hypnotized and get her to not be as anxious about this, and maybe to be nicer too. Can I throw that in at the end? Can I be like, hey, while you're talking,

Raylyn 5:44
can you be more respectful and tell me how awesome I am as a parent? Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:48
Like, get rid of the needle phobia. And then on Thursdays, around 2pm have her just like, instinctually come up to me and go, I love you, Dad. You're doing a great job. You could also make the point of like, Oh, I was diagnosed when I was 15, at least. I got to grow up and I had a childhood without diabetes. Then someone else is going to say, Oh, my God. But at 15, I just got my period, two years before that, and I was going into high school, and that was horrible. And then, like, everybody can see the pros and cons of every age. I don't think there's a good age to be diagnosed with diabetes. No,

Raylyn 6:18
no, there's never an ideal time. But yeah, I think it's, I don't know. I think that's a pretty cool thing for us too. Like, yeah, just as humans like to just sit and try to figure out what the good is in it. And I think that's helpful for us too, because you could go down a rabbit hole and you could, like, not come up for air for five years, but

Scott Benner 6:34
it's up to you. You're writing your own narrative, whether you know it or not. So, right, right, right. I heard somebody saying the other day about, like, platitudes, that people say, you think of them as platitudes, and someone says it, and then once you've lived through it, you go, this is very true, right? Maybe it's not just the thing people say. Maybe it's so simple because it's so pure and true, you know, right? Anyway,

Raylyn 6:59
right? Yeah, absolutely. I think even, like, when my daughter was diagnosed like, this may have been a little bit of shock, but I just remember being, like, incredibly grateful that she was diagnosed like now, because I knew that, like, 100 years ago, like, we didn't have insulin. Why I knew that? I don't know why, but I just remember, like, you know, it was scary, and, you know, terrifying, and all of the things that happen when you get diagnosed and you don't know what to do, yeah, but at the same time just being like, Thank you, God that there's insulin. Like, thank you for this happening, like, right now, and not, you know, 100 years ago. Like, thank you that she's where she's at, yeah? And it helped, yeah,

Scott Benner 7:43
I completely agree. And then to kind of like, stretch out our thought a little farther, you go 20 years in the future and tell somebody, oh, my kid was diagnosed in 2022 with type one diabetes. Oh, you poor thing, like that, technology so much better now. Blah, blah. And by the way, somebody diagnosed in 1930 somebody said to him, Maya, you're lucky. 10 years ago, you'd have been dead, but we got this insulin now. And like, I think my point here is, no matter how people try to couch it in the moment, the world keeps getting better. Yeah, things progress, you know. And nobody looks up and says, I wish I was alive 150 years ago. Just

Raylyn 8:17
not, not if you know about what life was like 150 years ago,

Scott Benner 8:21
but someone's gonna say that 150 years from now, yeah, and they'll be right, just like you're right now for saying you didn't want to be in the old west and ride a horse while your chlamydia was fired up right to get the San Francisco Oregon

Raylyn 8:34
Trail. I don't want to do that. Like, did you play Oregon Trail? I don't

Scott Benner 8:38
know about it, Raelyn, but, like, how are you coming off older than me? And I don't think you are. I'm 45 Yeah, you're not older than me. You just sounded like you were 60 for a second. You're like, I played a game on the machine.

Raylyn 8:50
I think in my soul I might be 60. I'm also clutching warm tea and wearing a hoodie, so I think, I think it might be my soul.

Scott Benner 8:59
Well, that's okay. Let's ride it out. All right, yeah, daughter's diagnosed. She's had it now for three years. How are things going the brand new twist, insulin pump offers peace of mind with unmatched personalization and allows you to target a glucose level as low as 87 there are more reasons why you might be interested in checking out twist, but just in case that one got you twist.com/juicebox that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. You can target glucose levels between 87 and 180 it's completely up to you. In addition to precision insulin delivery that's made possible by twist design, twist also offers you the ability to edit your carb entries even after you've bolused. This gives the twist loop algorithm the best information to make its decisions with, and the twist loop algorithm lives on the pump, so you don't have to stay next to your phone for it to do its job. Twist is coming very soon, so if you'd like to learn more or get on the way. List, go to twist.com/juicebox. That's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Links in the show notes, links at Juicebox podcast.com. Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US med has done that for us. When it's time for art and supplies to be refreshed. We get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden, this is your friendly reorder email from us. Med. You open up the email, it's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one us. Med has done that for us. An email arrives, we click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple, us, med.com/juicebox, or call, 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put the stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888721151. 888-721-1514, or go to my link, usmed.com/juicebox, using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juicebox Podcast. I

Raylyn 11:33
think they're going pretty well. I feel like there's always things that I'm trying to do better, like we're pretty good at pre bolusing. We're wearing the Omnipod five and Dexcom g7 I think there's always things I want to do better. I think we get into a lot of hiccups just because she's five, and I try not to harass her too much before she's gonna eat. About how much of that are you gonna eat? A lot of times I'll go in gangbusters and Pre Bolus, or, like, you know, I don't know, fruit snacks, and then she decides she doesn't want to eat them all. And so I think, for me, just trying to walk that line with her, but I feel like we're in a rhythm like her a 1c was a little bit higher three months ago. It was in the sevens. We'd had a lot of Dexcom failure or pump failures that we just weren't addressing immediately. Like, you know, when your pump fails, and you kind of watch it slowly creep up, and you're kind of in that questioning of, like, Well, did I mess up a Bolus? Like, is this just a higher blood sugar, or is the pump failing? Like, I think some of those things we waited too long on in that three month period. This three months. We're just trying to be a little more vigilant, and on top of that, so now she's back down in the sixes. She's 6.7 Yeah, what

Scott Benner 12:48
you said was, when she has enough insulin, her a 1c, is lower,

Raylyn 12:51
amen, right, amen, right, right. And when you're monitoring it like you're supposed to, right? Yeah, I just think it, oh, go ahead. I was

Scott Benner 12:58
gonna tell you that's a tough part of when they get older, because that's the thing that, I mean, it's not just kids, but, like, you know, I've lately been using Erica as an example, who I record a lot of episodes with. And, you know, I was telling her one day about how, like, I wish Arden would just change her pump at, you know, at certain times, and she'll ride it to the last drop. And, yeah, I can see Erica while I'm talking to her, and I could see her face, like, crinkling it up. And I'm like, Oh, God, is that what you do? She goes, yeah. And I was like, oh, like, Okay, so that's a human thing, not a kid, yeah, right,

Raylyn 13:29
it is. And I think, like, just like trying to balance that, and then also just learning from it, and just doing better and just knowing that it's like, a big picture thing, you know? So three months, like, we did something that probably wasn't the best idea, you know, this next three months, like, let's try do better, and we just take it, like, a little bit at a time, you know, because, of course, you always have other things going on too, right? Like, I think sometimes too with type one, like, it kind of can become our whole world. But, like, I have three kids, and I have parents who are, I'm an only child, and one is in assisted living, and one is in long term care. So your parents, there's always, you know, yeah, like so many resources, a balancing of needs, like a balancing of being able to live a life, and just,

Scott Benner 14:13
well, yeah, we really you're looking, you're looking for a place where you can take your foot off the gas a little bit, yeah? And you tried one spot, and you went, Okay, apparently that wasn't the spot contour, next.com/juicebox that's the link you'll use to find out more about the contour, next gen blood glucose meter. When you get there, there's a little bit at the top. You can click right on blood glucose monitoring. I'll do it with you. Go to meters, click on any of the meters, I'll click on the Next Gen, and you're going to get more information. It's easy to use and highly accurate. Smart light provides a simple understanding of your blood glucose levels, and of course, with Second Chance sampling technology, you can save money with fewer wasted test strips. As if all that wasn't enough, the contour next gen also has a compatible app for. An easy way to share and see your blood glucose results. Contour, next.com/juicebox and if you scroll down at that link, you're going to see things like a Buy Now button. You could register your meter after you purchase it. Or what is this? Download a coupon. Oh, receive a free contour, next gen blood glucose meter. Do tell contour next.com/juicebox, head over there. Now get the same accurate and reliable meter that we

Raylyn 15:30
use. Yeah, that wasn't the one to do, but you'll

Scott Benner 15:33
find places to make time for yourself and energy and things like that. Listen, the truth is, you can't ignore diabetes a ton, like, it doesn't go well that way. And you will find yourself making adjustments throughout your life, and you're going to be pissed about some of them, like, you're going to give something away, and you're going to be like, oh, like, God, you know. Like, that is the thing I really enjoy doing on Saturday mornings, but I don't do that anymore. And right? That's because this is our reality now. But right? Amen, yeah, it just, in the end, everybody, to me, just feels like day three of the zombie apocalypse, while they're still running around with, like, their game boy in their bag. You know what? I mean? That's an old reference, too. Sorry. You know, like you're not going to need that anymore. Electricity is gone, and we're running from zombies. So why don't you put that down? Right? I want to point out, by the end of that TV show, those people were living up pretty living a pretty nice life in the zombie apocalypse.

Raylyn 16:24
I haven't dived into the zombie apocalypse too much because I feel like I've got enough to worry about. And I'm pretty sure if zombies come like I'm going to be the one of the first eaten, because I'm not fast.

Scott Benner 16:35
Oh my god, if you watch the zombie show, would you worry that zombies were actually going to come? I totally would,

Raylyn 16:40
and I would start, I would start thinking about what insulin I need to have on hand, and maybe I should start going to CrossFit so I can run faster.

Scott Benner 16:47
Just just die with pride, for God's sake. I feel like

Raylyn 16:51
that's really what I need to just plan for. Because, yeah, okay, I didn't make it very well through gym class. So yeah, the zombies and I'm not armed, so

Scott Benner 17:02
running through the woods being like, I should have tried to climb that rope for real. I really didn't put my effort into

Raylyn 17:10
it. Yeah, there would be no,

Scott Benner 17:12
yeah. I remember fat me walking up that rope, thinking, Is this a joke?

Raylyn 17:18
Oh yeah, gym class, please. I never made it to the top. We had to climb up different levels, and the top was like Superman, and I never made it. So, yeah, the zombies come like, I'm gonna be the person they throw in front so that everyone else can

Scott Benner 17:30
run. Do you think if we found a young person right now and told them that in a gymnasium, like with a high, high ceiling, there used to be a rope that was, maybe, I don't know, maybe four inches around, like, you know, like a putting my hands in front of me. You should see me putting my hands in front of me right now, I'm like, What am I doing? Right? A pretty thick rope that would hang literally from the ceiling. I don't think I'm joking to say maybe 80 feet off the ground. No, no exaggeration, with a three inch wrestling mat underneath of it. They'd tell you to get on that rope and climb it as high as you could. And some kids would go to the roof. Yeah, they weren't tethered to anything. There was no airbag underneath. They just let children climb to the roof on a rope. What a crazy world we lived in. What was the best game in gym class taking a ball and throwing it as hard as you could at other people's

Raylyn 18:21
heads. That was good for you. I was on the receiving end and trying not to cry.

Scott Benner 18:25
No, yeah, I understand, by the way, there's one place where I excelled. I was like, I can throw this ball very fast at your head.

Raylyn 18:32
I was like, just get me out of gym class and please give me a book in a dark corner.

Scott Benner 18:36
I'm just looking for those kids that got to the top of the rope. I'm like, I think I can give one of them a concussion. Also, you go 1978 I didn't know what a concussion was, and either did anybody else see, and you came out just fine. Well, that's arguable. All right, now let's, let's look at your list here. Yeah. All right, the man, you've got this broken down, okay? Number one, the ebb and flow of diabetes management. You said being vigilant about settings, hormones, growth changes, but still living life and not hyper fixating on it. I often think about the long game, taking care of your daughter's names here, but here, and also laying the groundwork for the future. So I feel like you covered that with what you said there. Like but are you hyper fixating on things, or are you just, are you so worried about the future that you're making up problems? Like, what is the difference? Yeah, I

Raylyn 19:26
think if I let myself, like, I could sit and watch numbers all day long on her CGM really, you know, but I don't. I purposely make myself not and just check in every once in a while. I think, too, like, for me, part of hyper fixating that is also like correlating, maybe a feeling where, like, if we have a higher blood sugar because I missed dosed, or maybe we ate something I wasn't aware of. And I think you can sit there, if you hyper fixate it, and think like, Oh, I've blown this whole thing. Like, this isn't gonna like, I'm she's gonna have x, y, and. See happen, instead of just, like, kind of putting it back in perspective and being like, Okay, well, this didn't work this time. And like, deal with it and move on. Like, in the beginning, I don't know if you have, like, a high blood sugar, and like, you correct it. And then sometimes, like, watch it, yeah,

Scott Benner 20:14
to see what it Yeah, we have to learn, yeah. Well, but once I learned how it worked, I stopped looking at it.

Raylyn 20:18
Yeah. So I feel like I'm somewhere in between, okay, trusting and still watching it and not trusting it. So

Scott Benner 20:27
that makes sense in these previous three months where you, like, took your foot off the accelerator a little bit. Was that you looking for a way not to hyper fixate, but then you went too far the other direction.

Raylyn 20:39
I don't really know what it was. I think part of it was just try not to interfere with life a ton. And when I say that, like, if I thought, like our CGM was clearly in that little where it says to give it three hours for signal loss. And you know it's not coming back on, but you keep hoping, because you want to get the most out of your sensor, instead of addressing it just being, like, well, let's just keep going about our day. Like, you keep playing instead of just changing it right away.

Scott Benner 21:07
So that makes sense, yeah? But I'm trying to get to the idea of, like, Were you looking for respite? Were you like, I'm trying to figure out, yeah. Like, because once it goes poorly the first time, like, how did you do it again? Like, how did you go? No, no, the last time we ignored a site that wasn't working anymore. But let's roll the dice on this one. I'm wondering if this is not a admonishment, right? I'm just, I'm really trying to pick through it. I'm wondering if you got like, Frog in the pot, happy, ooh. What does that mean? If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it'll jump out. If you put a frog in a pot of cold water and slowly heat it up, it will sit there happily till it dies. Maybe, I wonder if that started happening to you were just like, Okay, well, she didn't die. I don't have to pay as close attention to this anymore. Like, this is more comfortable for me, even though it's not good, it's more comfortable.

Raylyn 21:57
I think sometimes it's more of just a hesitation, like, is this the right thing to do? Right? Is it the right thing to do? Is it really failing? Okay, thinking about, like, the supplies we have, and, like, making sure I'm not, like, running out too soon. And then also, site changes are a lot better as she's gotten older than they were. But also, like, she still doesn't like them. So, you know, like, I try to only poke when I need to poke. So if, like, the pump really is, if it really is just a bad Bolus and it's going to come back on, like, I don't want to give her an unnecessary, like, sight change, I agree

Scott Benner 22:35
completely with that, you know, yeah, also my kid who has, you know, been wearing this stuff since she was four, right? I saw her the other day 20 putting on a pod, and it went in, and she went, Yeah. It's like, gotcha. She's like, well, it got me. And I'm like, it isn't like, Oh, it got me. Haha. It's

Raylyn 22:54
like, that really hurt, god damn it. Yeah,

Scott Benner 22:57
you're right. Like, I would also tell you that I think the Omnipod assertion is fantastic, like, it just caught her in the wrong spot, you know. And Right, right? What are you gonna do? Like, but I so I take your point like you're you don't want to overreact. But by trying to figure out where that line was, you saw that there were times when it would not have been an overreaction,

Raylyn 23:17
right? And I think like doing too many of those, like sitting back for a minute accumulates over time. So just learning that, like, you're just gonna have to, like, do the site change and it's gonna hurt and it but it'll be fine because it's for the greater good. I don't Does that make sense? No,

Scott Benner 23:35
it does. Yeah. Again, I say a lot. I've been saying a lot in my real life lately, which probably means the people around me are probably sick of me by now, but I've been talking a lot to an acquaintance about finances, helping them with their finances, and I started saying this thing that I find myself saying here, which is, like, you have to attack this problem like an astronaut. You know, you get a stare back. And I was like, everything's trying to kill an astronaut, but what's trying to kill him right now? Yeah, that's the thing you do, right? Like, you can't look up and go, Oh my god, there are 17 things around me that all want me to die, that all are going to cause me a problem, right? I have to worry about all 17 of them. That's not it. Like you, the one that's in your face, right? Now, that's the one you take care of, right? Yeah. And then that becomes, like, if you, I don't know, for me, it kind of became normal, like you just, I don't think about the other things that aren't in front of me, right? Yeah, that's the I think that might be the key. Anyway, there you go. Let's go to the second thing here on your exhaustive list. Post do you is this, you are? You just, like, very well thought out when you say

Raylyn 24:38
I am and I well, I used to write more. So, yeah, this is like, where I can make sense of my thoughts. Yes.

Scott Benner 24:45
So post diagnosis phase, what you call the fourth newborn. I guess you're talking about diabetes there. Yeah, time in our house when I brought my daughter home from the hospital after a diagnosis, learning how to manage diabetes felt like having another newborn. My brain. Brain felt mushy, and it was incredibly hard to remember anything. I'm not sure if this is unique to me as a caregiver, but might be helpful to someone else to know about and you said it did get better for you, so I guess correlate that to an actual bringing home a new baby, like, what? What did it? Did it really follow along on a lot of similarities. It felt

Raylyn 25:20
like it to me. And I think everyone's experience is unique. So I don't know if other people experience when they this, when they bring home a new baby, it feels like everything is just, I mean, for lack of a better word, like your brain is kind of mushy. It's hard to keep things in, like you're there, but your brain is kind of somewhere else at the same time. So I mean, lack of sleep was very similar to having a newborn, right? The thing that happens when you have a kiddo, and at least with that, there's some preparation, but there's a definite sudden shift of how things go, like what your responsibilities are, and it's not a gentle entry, and you're just like, I think it takes a hot minute for your brain to catch up to that. So even, like, with diabetes, like, I remember, like, I don't know, we'd give her, like, peas as part of her lunch or something. And I remember, like, walking over to the bag, you know, you get the serving size out, and, you know, you write, like, I would have to write down that, like, a quarter cup is, I don't know, seven carbs or whatever, and I'd have to put it on a sticky note, like in front of me as I built the rest of her lunch,

Scott Benner 26:27
because you couldn't hold the seven in your head while you were doing it. Yeah,

Raylyn 26:30
in two seconds it would be gone. So yeah,

Scott Benner 26:34
I remember diagnosis feeling like, like I was tasked with fixing a computer during a hurricane, and while that was happening. Someone was explaining barometric pressure to me so I would know when the next hurricane would come and how to, like, move away, so that I could, like, you know, do a better job fixing my electronics where it wasn't raining, right? Why are all these words happening and, you know, like, how am I supposed to keep this thing dry while the storm is around me? Kind of I don't want to understand this storm. I just want it to stop, like that kind of stuff. Yeah, it sucks. It does get better. But, yeah, sure. Well, because your understanding builds Right, yeah, and things start working out better, you start feeling less stress sometimes. And then, you know, if you're lucky, it just gets better and better as time goes. I think that does work out that way for a great many people. I mean, I'm sure there are other people too who are knocked over by it and never get up again. I'm not saying otherwise, but you have an opportunity if you can get up every morning and just keep going and trying your hardest to learn from situations like you don't write down on a sticky note, what carbs are in anything anymore? No,

Raylyn 27:42
no, yeah, I can hold information in my brain again. So I

Scott Benner 27:46
see the correlation completely between like, you spent nine months making that baby, then you pushed it out. You're freaking exhausted. Your body's trying to recover from a major, you know, up from a thing that, by the way, used to kill women all the time, not that long,

Raylyn 27:58
right? Let's acknowledge that for a minute. Thank you. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 28:01
of course. I mean, you guys were like, you know, a coin flip. Oh, I know you could even see, like, when you watch those old TV shows, and like, you know, in the old west, somebody gets pregnant, they're like, Oh, we're gonna have a baby. And then everyone's face does the same thing the next moment. Like, I mean, if, like, hopefully she'll live through this, right, right? But if not, there's a lady down the street I can get to watch these kids.

Raylyn 28:22
There's a new wife, a new wife down the street, in case this one doesn't make it. Guy

Scott Benner 28:26
down the street got gored by a bull. If mine goes, I'm going to scoop his up and it'll all be set. And if that's not how you think things used to work, they did right? Yeah, yeah, it sucks. I mean, you're asked to do a lot in the face of a lot. Yeah,

Raylyn 28:39
I think it does get better. You just have to, I don't know, give yourself Grace speaking of cliches, but and just kind of being patient with yourself and not panicking in the middle of it, you know, yeah, listen,

Scott Benner 28:50
I want to tell you that because of this podcast. I said that to somebody the other day, but I had to preface it with, I know I'm not religious, but listen to me, but listen to me on this one, like I said, religious people got a lot of right? Here's one of them. And I was like, this thing about offering grace to people, which is not really a religious thought, but you generally hear people who, you know, I assume, go to church that so, like, right? I don't know. I'm not there. I don't see that. I'm sleeping on Sunday, the way I think God intended, but that's fine. Why not make church at four?

Raylyn 29:25
They do have some churches at four. Oh, my God. Are you serious? They have some churches on Saturday nights. If you want to go, I believe Catholic and Saturday night. Yeah, I'm telling you.

Scott Benner 29:34
What is that in place of AA, you think, like, why would anybody go to church on Saturday night? I

Raylyn 29:38
don't know, but the world is your oyster if you want to explore. Scott, all right, well,

Scott Benner 29:41
I don't, but I appreciate, but I do think there's a ton of intelligence and value and compassion, and just sometimes you just have to just do that. Just give yourself some grace. Give it to somebody else, you know. Like, yeah, I think it just means just calm down and leave everybody alone for five seconds. Because this is. Hard, okay, amen, amen.

Raylyn 30:01
And I think just knowing that, even for other people, like, if I see someone walking around, like, of course, now I notice, like, if I see a kiddo with a Dexcom on or a pump, and just, I don't know, there's kind of like, for me, at least a silent acknowledgement of that person walking by, you know,

Scott Benner 30:18
yeah, we should get a Jeep wave for diabetes, going, ooh, like,

Raylyn 30:22
instead of the rubber duckies on people's dashboards,

Scott Benner 30:25
what could we do people's dashboards? I don't know about this. I have a friend

Raylyn 30:29
who owns a jeep. Apparently, it's this thing you're supposed to take a ducky, leave a ducky. I don't know. Oh,

Scott Benner 30:33
oh, I thought that was for swingers. What am I thinking of?

Raylyn 30:37
Maybe I'm wrong. I think that's the upside down pineapple.

Scott Benner 30:41
Oh, look at, look at how quickly you knew that. Raylan, interesting. I know, yeah, I'm a wealth of information. Well, or, you know, whatever Raelyn says, the community. One of the upsides of this disease has been the community. I meet people with type one. Almost everywhere I go, they always where were they always were there. Wait, were they always there? You said, oh, sorry, probably. But I also feel like, are you looking wrote this? What dork wrote? Are you looking at this list? Or

Raylyn 31:10
am I just thinking, I'm looking at the list? Just in case I got too nervous, yes, What a dork. I'm like, Am

Scott Benner 31:16
I doing such a great job of dragging this story out over that I'm getting it out of her in order, she's got to be reading this. I also feel like being a bit drawn together. I know it sounds kind of kooky. I've had two separate instances in the past year where I've been at the pool and there's another kiddo. One was eight, other was four, wearing a Dexcom and Omnipod. Okay, yeah. So do you find any online community, or do you are you having a lot of luck finding people in real life. I feel like

Raylyn 31:42
more in the wild, like it was really interesting. So as soon as my daughter was diagnosed, our next visit at the pediatrician, one of the nurses passed me a note from one of the other pas her daughter had actually just been diagnosed in two months prior, so she wanted me to have her phone number just in case. And then someone I went to high school with found me and and now, like, yeah, we'll be at like, the pool, which I don't live. I live in a decent sized city, and, yeah, literally, there's another kid there, maybe like 12 people in the pool. And I look and there's another kiddo walking into the pool with an Omnipod on, yeah, like the same age, and we were at the pool later in the summer, like a different pool, and I see an eight year old, you know, will be climbing at the rock climbing thing. And I see another kiddo, like, even at my daughter's preschool, you know, I had another mom come up to me because she saw my daughter's pod, and her six year old has type one, so I just notice it. And I think it's been cool to see people. It kind of helps, you know, because sometimes you can feel with any sort of, like chronic illness, pretty isolated, you know, just seeing people, yeah, it feels

Scott Benner 32:55
better to just have some sameness, like, just to look up and see yourself somewhere, right,

Raylyn 33:00
yeah. And I think too, to just know that like you're not you're not alone, like it can feel like it, like the online thing is great, but seeing people in everyday life, you know, like I had one of my other kiddos was recently diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and, like, ADHD and some other issues. And it's the funny part about it. Is my first question was, like, where's the community? Because, like, I feel like, with diabetes, like I know, to go to the Juicebox Podcast, like I know to look for people, like, there's visible things that I can see, to have some sort of like, let's sit down and have coffee and let's talk about how things are going. And, you know, other things that you're dealing with, like, it's not, I think the visibility is probably not great for the person who has type one, and I want to be sensitive to that, but I think there's a lot of community in it. That's really a nice thing. You know, yeah,

Scott Benner 33:53
you do live in a concentrated I know where you live. I'm not telling people, but yeah, you do live in a concentrated area. Yeah, yeah, because I did a little like Gazin does while you were talking just now. And yeah, you live in a place that has about as many people as live in the county that I live in, but, but my county may, but my county is 6463 square miles larger than yours, okay? And it's pretty busy here. So, yeah, yeah, that's, it's, it's something. Because I almost joked with you, like, Oh, I know you think you live somewhere big, but you don't. But, you know, yeah, we

Raylyn 34:31
have more than two wagons, yeah,

Scott Benner 34:32
with those big wheels, right? They get pulled with mules and stuff like that. You get around right now, I hear, right?

Raylyn 34:39
We've got, we've got the latest ones. They're thinking about doing something a little different, but yeah, you can sometimes take the cover off. Sometimes you can leave it

Scott Benner 34:47
on convertible. Yeah, yeah. I hope I haven't told this recently, but I was helping a person who's more newly diagnosed, and they were starting to like. Reach out and start telling people, like, you know what I mean? And then they suddenly found a person who's like, oh, that just happened to my son. And then they started chatting. And inside of the chat, like the person said, Oh, you got to check out the podcast. And the first person goes, Oh, actually, I know Scott. Like, isn't that crazy? That is wild. Yeah, yeah. Like a person I know whose kid is diagnosed out of nowhere, starts talking to a person in their life. We do not live anywhere near each other, and that person goes, oh, you know, definitely check out this Juicebox Podcast thing. That kind of stuff is, I don't know like I think that shows your point of that, even though you don't see people all the time with it, it's obviously more prevalent than you think it might be. Right? You know, you never know where you might find your your connections, right, right? That's awesome. You're doing pretty well. Well, do you want to go to the next one? Do you want to? Do you want

Raylyn 35:50
to read one? No, you. I'm just here to chat, so I feel like such a dork for sending this email. Now, though, What a dork. It's not.

Scott Benner 35:57
I'm still scrolling. I don't think it's going to stop. Yeah, like, it just goes on and on and on. I'm just kidding. No, I appreciate this. Like, listen, if that's how your brain works, then it's awesome, you know? Like, yeah, I don't know if you asked me to prep for one of these guys. As a matter of fact, I had to recently. I'm giving four talks on the like, me and about 100 listeners are going on a cruise together this summer. Yes, yes. And I'm giving four separate like, like talks, and the person, you know, it's coordinating the cruise, like I'm, and this is weird to feel like this, but like, I'm kind of the talent. Do you know what I mean? And so, like, I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm Sonny and Cher, someone else is booking the stage.

Raylyn 36:35
Oh, are you wearing the outfit too? Are you gonna dress like Sonny and Cher, hers or his? Which one were you? I don't know, you've got four talks. There's the opportunity is endless. I

Scott Benner 36:44
can go rhinestones at some point. That would be awesome. So, like, you know, the person says, Well, you know, we need topics for these four things. And in my mind, I'm like, Yeah, well, like, we'll talk about that, and, you know, and living with it, and people ask questions, and we'll go back and forth. She goes, I think it's going to want to be a little more, I don't know specific, like they might want to know what the talks about. And I was like, okay, so I sat down and I listen, you guys listen to the podcast. If you just blurted out five, like, random words. I think I could string them together and talk about them for like, 15 minutes, right? And I know how I feel about most things, diabetes and stuff I don't like, I don't have technical expertise on, I would open up to the group and we could have a chat. Like, I don't think I'd have any trouble having that conversation. But when you said to me, what are we going to speak about? I was like, I don't know. Like, I really like, I paused for days after I was asked for that information. And as crazy as it sounds like, I had to take old content of the podcast and look at it and say, like, Well, I think this would be valuable for people here. And like, you know, like, we should talk about this, but that should get coupled with this. I couldn't just like, what you did. I find like, that's awesome, like you just sat down and wrote your thoughts out. I If I sat down and said, I want to talk about diabetes, I would write. I want to talk about diabetes, then I would stop writing.

Raylyn 38:09
Well, can I ask you a question, please? Okay, so, but you wrote a book, right? So how did, how did that process work for you? I'm just curious. I guarantee

Scott Benner 38:19
you not the way other people write books, really. So you sit down and just like, let it flow. Yeah, wow. So here's what happened. I wrote a sidebar in a diabetes book for a person that I knew back then. I don't know them anymore, sadly, okay, and they asked me to write 1000 words on, I forget what it was on advocating for yourself at school, maybe, okay, and so I did. I wrote, you know, basically, I wrote an essay, I sent it to their publisher, which is what I was asked to do, and I never thought about it again. I know that that sounds strange, but like, I just, I never thought about again. So she asked me to do a thing. I did it for. That was the end of it, right? And like, six months later, I get an email back from this publisher, and they're like, how do you want to be attributed in the book? And I was like, I don't care. I literally responded back, because it doesn't matter to me, just put my name like, you don't want to put your blog there or anything. I'm like, I don't care. Like, I just didn't like, I really didn't care. So I think that got the person on the phone and was like, listen, we're not just gonna write this out and write Scott underneath of it. Then I was like, Okay, so tell me how you want this trip. Then I realized, Oh, my God, I was being difficult, and I wasn't. I was trying to be easy. I was trying to like, it doesn't matter to me. So we start talking, and she says to me, yours, I don't want to say what she said. Anyway, she really liked what I wrote. Okay, okay. And asked me if I would ever consider writing a book about diabetes. Wow. And I said, No, I wouldn't do that. And she said, why? And I said, No, it changes too often, and I'm still learning about it. Like, it feels weird to put something down as like a reference and then like, have it like. Like, two years later, like, not be accurate anymore, or, like, even if, like, what would happen if two years later, I woke up and I was like, Oh, I said it like this, but that's not the right way to say it. I should have said it this way. So I said, No, thank you. But being a go getter, which I think I might be, maybe, yeah, it's possible. And I said, I said, but I could write a book about being a stay at home dad. And she goes, Yeah, give me an outline. And I was like, okay, and it was a Friday. It was a Friday. And she said, Send me an outline on Monday. So I sat down in I don't want to lie, five minutes, and and wrote out what I thought would be chapter titles, like topics, uh huh, and I hammered them out real quickly. Looked at them. I was like, Yeah, that's right. And never looked at them again. I sat on them till Monday because I didn't want to just email them to her. 10 minutes after she asked me for them, because I thought that would look poorly, thought out, I sent them to her. She got back to me and she said, Okay. She goes, give me we're gonna need, I forget what she said, 60,000 70,000 words. You have to have this many of to us by this date. The book has to be completed by six months later, we'll give you $5,000 to write the manuscript. Nice. And I was like, okay,

Raylyn 41:20
sold.

Scott Benner 41:21
So I got off the phone with her. I was standing down the hall from where I'm at now on the phone with her. I paused from doing the laundry to talk to her on the phone, and then I called my wife, standing in the same exact spot, and I said, I just got a book deal. She goes, I'm never gonna forget this conversation. She goes, Can you write a book? And I said, and this is a quote, I don't know.

Raylyn 41:52
We're about to find out. We'll find out.

Scott Benner 41:54
I said, they're gonna give me $5,000 to write it. And she was like, What if you can't write it? And I said, we'll give him the $5,000 back. I love it, yeah. And she was like, what? I'm like, well, they'll give us a check. We'll deposit an account and leave it there, and if I fail miserably, I'll send them a check for $5,000 along with a note that says, whoops, I'm sorry that didn't work out, did it? That's awesome, I think in the current parlance, with dochi, it would be Oopsie. I made a whoopsie. And so I was like, so my wife, who's not wired like that, was like, you can't just say you're going to do something if you don't know how you're going to do it. And I was like, how am I going to figure out if I can do it if I don't try? And why the hell would I try unless somebody was giving me $5,000 let's get into it now. Meanwhile, $5,000 over six months, I've done better, like going up the street and, like, making fries for somebody,

Raylyn 42:50
right? But it sounds so attractive, but it's a thing

Scott Benner 42:53
that sounds, see, you're not wrong. Like, yeah, I'm published. Some people eat that with a spoon. Yeah, yeah. I don't think much of it, but like, like, the people, sometimes you tell people, like, oh, like, Oh, you didn't self publish a book. No, no. Like, a publisher paid me to write, oh, right, published off when asked for this, yeah. Like, what I did was I sat down, like it was a writing assignment every day, and I read the sentence that I wrote for the chapter title, and then I just free associated with it, so you kind of organized your thoughts a little bit. I mean, it took five minutes. So I don't know if we organized they were there.

Raylyn 43:28
I mean, this email took five minutes too, yeah.

Scott Benner 43:31
And then I hammered it all out. Yeah. At the very end, here's the thing that you don't tell people, okay, not really a reader. So I didn't know what people wanted in a book, or even how a book was supposed to be, so the book probably reads more like a like a bunch of blog posts put together, like, I don't even know, to be perfectly honest, I don't, I don't read people's blogs either. So So anyway, so I finished the I finished the whole thing, and I'm ready to hand it in. And I call them on the day it's due. And I said, Can I hold it for one more day? And she says, why? Like, and she started panicking, like, figuring, I was like, you know, like, not anywhere near done. I said, Well, it's done. I was like, but I want to read it out loud to myself. And she goes, Why?

Raylyn 44:19
She's like, we pay people to do that for you. Yeah.

Scott Benner 44:21
And I said, I want to hear what people are going to hear when they read it. Yeah? And she goes, take a whole week. And I was like, Oh, wow, thanks. I did not need a whole week. I got up the next morning, got the kids off to school, I sat at my desk, and I read it out loud, yeah. And as I was reading it, I thought, Oh, I don't like the way that sounds. And then I would make changes. And she was nice, yeah, she was nice to give me a week, because I did make a number of changes. I think I sent her off, like 75,000 words, nice. And the nicest thing I can say about good editing is that she sent me back 10,000 fewer words. And when I read it, for the life of me. I could not figure out what she took out of it. Yeah, it's really cool, actually. Yeah, then they published it and but they don't tell you about being a published author is that, if you're not famous, no one actually helps you sell the book, right, right, right. So I did my best to get on. I got on some television shows. I got on I did a lot of print stuff. I did an NPR interview once, which is cool, like, I drove into Philly and did an NPR interview in a radio station. It was really neat, yeah, stuff like that, like, three or four days into it, into the like, you know, the media stuff. The publisher called me back, and she goes, you're doing great in these interviews. And I was like, thank you. I said, I don't, I don't feel like I'm doing well. She goes, authors. She's like, writers can't talk usually, right? So she's like, so this is awesome. Like, you're doing great. Could you do me one favor? And I was like, Sure. She goes, Stop telling people you don't read. And I laughed. And I was like, you don't think that's going over. Well. She goes, I do not want to read a book from a person who doesn't read books. I was like, All right, I'll stop saying that. So I stopped saying that, and that was it, like, that's how I wrote a book. Like, I I'm glad I did it. It's at this point. Was like, Jesus, yeah. Like, 13 years ago I did that, right? Yeah, but I would never do it again.

Raylyn 46:18
I don't know. Never, say never. This is a much

Scott Benner 46:21
more

Raylyn 46:23
effective medium. Yeah, it really

Scott Benner 46:26
is. So, yeah, I could have wrote a book about diabetes, and guess what? It wouldn't have been nearly as good as, think, like a pancreas or pumping insulin or something like that, who are written by people who have a mind for, you know, writing, rewriting, researching, you know, like, that kind of, like, I just don't have a head for that. Like, this is what I think you have to mine out of it. What is valuable for you? Yeah, that's all,

Raylyn 46:50
I guess. What's cool about the podcast is, like, you find yourself picking up, like, little things here and there. So you may not be ready to, like, sit down and, like, fully. I mean, there's times when you come to it and you're ready to digest a lot of information, but for me, there's just times where I just kind of have it in the background and like, I'll pick up something, you know, yeah, and I feel like that's just little bites are good. So I

Scott Benner 47:12
interviewed a 24 year old girl yesterday who was maybe the most mature, thoughtful person I'd ever met in my life. And I've, I've interviewed a dozen people like that, you know, or more, where you just sit down and for their age, you just think, like, how did they gather up all of this perspective and thoughtfulness, you know? So quickly, she told me that she started listening to the podcast, and it made her angry that it was about pumping, and she was that she was MDI, right? And she said that one day, actually, she was from she wasn't from America, so I was gonna say she was walking around Walmart, but it wasn't Walmart. She said a store like Walmart. And then she said the name of the store, I don't know, and she said she was listening in the background, just listening to the podcast. And it suddenly just hit her that she could apply what I was saying to MDI, yeah, she said, out of nowhere, it just like, after listening for a while, and it mostly making her mad, right? Not enjoying it, but still listening. And I thought, like, Wow, that's crazy. Like, I got we, like, not weepy, like, you know what I mean, right? Yeah, not like, snow flaky, but I

Raylyn 48:20
was okay. It's okay if you cried, it's okay. It's okay to cry. So Raelynn,

Scott Benner 48:23
if you listen to the podcast, what you've learned is, is that I think when one tear comes out of my eye, I've welled up, but I've now been told by my daughter and by my wife that that's crying. And then I tried to go to a professional I went to Erica one time, and I pled my case, and she goes, Scott, that's crying. And I was like, I was like, I feel like I just get welled up. But she's like, Yeah, that's crying. And I'm like, I don't like the way you're putting it, by the way, I'll cry. I was having a difficult conversation with Arden two weeks ago, and in the middle of it, I was like, oh, hell. And I started to cry. I don't mind crying. I don't know if you've ever seen life as a house, it's not a very good movie, but it's about cancer. I the lights came up, and my wife's like, are you all right?

Raylyn 49:09
Oh God, my shirt not sound uplifting. My shirt

Scott Benner 49:13
was wet. I was like, everything's fine.

Raylyn 49:17
It's all fine, yeah,

Scott Benner 49:19
but, but, um, I so I don't mind crying. I just have a I don't know what to call it. I have a stance on crying, and I don't think like me, welling up is crying. Nevertheless, she tells me that she's walking around the store. She has this revelation, and now she's doing wonderfully. And what you don't know that you'll hear in that episode is that her father died at 50, probably complications from his type one, oh, wow. And that his father had type one and just somehow lived to 96 Oh, wow. And so, like, not really taking care of things, like the way you think of it now, but it just whatever worked out for him right then his son sees, oh, my dad doesn't really put a ton into this. And look at how old. He is, but then, boom, he's gone at 50. And now this girl, or is a couple years into her diabetes, and which path is she gonna take? Is she gonna take the like, I'll roll the dice and see what happens, and maybe I'll live the 96 or maybe I'll die when I'm 50, but I don't know how to help myself. And then this sounds grandiose, and I don't mean for it too. But then, like, she finds my podcast, yeah, and then fights against it, and then gives in and is now doing awesome. Did me deciding to make a podcast 11 years ago, five years before this 24 year old girl even had type one diabetes? Like, did I save her with that, right? You know what I mean? Like, could we all be doing something like that that might be valuable in the world? That just the thought that maybe she'll be better off because of something I thought to do made me well up,

Raylyn 50:52
right? I think it should. Because, like, I don't know. I kind of try to go about my life like, not consciously, but I do think, like, all of that stuff that's connected. Like, you can either look at the connections and just say that's completely random and like, disregard it, or you can, like, kind of lean into that and really think about, yeah, and just like, be comforted by it, by be like, uplifted by it. Or even just it kind of makes the things that you're dealing with in the day to day business of your life, and the decisions you're making, like, you know, you don't know who you talk to, how that's going to impact them, or a decision you make to start a podcast, like, I feel like it all is connected, and it's all being laid out in the groundwork, and I don't know that that gives me Hope. How

Scott Benner 51:40
insane is it that a person with absolutely no religious Holdings is probably living a life much more religious than most people

Raylyn 51:48
you know, you and I could talk for hours over coffee about that.

Scott Benner 51:52
I mean, listen, I've said it on here 1000 times like you give me 50 grand and tell me, Scott, you got to bet it one side of the other, there's an answer. We're gonna give it to you. God, no, God, I go, No, God, okay. I'm like, I'm like, That's my bet right now. I've also said if I should drop dead right now and my eyes open back up, and St Peter is standing there holding a book, and there's some gates behind him, I'm gonna start apologizing in circles. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, Listen, I don't know how you expected me to buy into this. Like, here's all the reasons why I couldn't.

Raylyn 52:22
He's gonna be But Scott, I whispered the idea of a podcast in your head. Oh,

Scott Benner 52:26
don't worry, I'm gonna do one's life. He's gonna go, dude, you've told the story on the podcast of the guy I

Raylyn 52:35
dropped I dropped you nuggets everywhere. Scott, you're

Scott Benner 52:39
using those stories like, like, I love the one about like, you know, I know the internet is so full now you can't see any of it, but back when it first started, there were a couple of things that were so awesome. One of them is a local news reporter squashing grapes with her feet at like, some fair, and it's on a raised platform, and it's a race to see who can get more juice out of the grapes. Like the person who, like, does it at the fair, or her, and she's just going back and forth. You know, she's a regular lady. Looks like she pushed a couple of kids out. Maybe it hasn't gone to Pilates in a while, but she's not, you know what I mean, like, and she's in there, like, with her, she's pumping her feet, squishing the grapes, and then she thinks she's funny, and she speeds up, hits the side of the bucket, slips, falls four feet to the ground, and makes a noise that I will never forget.

Raylyn 53:32
Can you link to that video in the show notes? Can you do that? Because I know, like I want to see it now. Okay,

Scott Benner 53:36
I'll figure out what it's called, for sure, and tell people, please do the noise. She goes, she goes, Oh, it's awesome. I feel bad for it, and if she ever hears us, I'm sorry, but your pain made me and millions of people laugh. So the internet, that's one of the things from the internet. Like, I'll never forget. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget if you live in Philadelphia, we had this wide receiver who dropped a lot of balls. There's a fire in Philly. Someone throws their kid out of a window. This dude, this fcking badass motherfucker, catches this kid, saves his life. The news asks him about it, and he says, I caught that baby, not like, what's his name? And he calls out the wide receiver, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Internet is awesome, is what I'm saying. Ah, people, if you don't love Philadelphia, after watching that guy do that, you're out of your mind. He saved a baby, and in his moment of glory, he decided to on a wide receiver drop some footballs. It's awesome. There's this great CNN interview of a guy whose house is about to be swept away by a flood, and he is standing at his property. He is just bereft, like it's happening right his house, it is gonna float away, and he is standing there and in the lower corner of this. Screen is a map of the area, and the map includes a line that shows you the flood plain, where they tell you not to build your house, and his house is on the wrong side of the line, and he had just gotten done talking about like, I built this house, and I'm like, did you not look at this map first? That reminds me of that story, of like, you know, I sent you a boat, I sent you a helicopter. I sent you like, it always makes me think about that. And I tell that damn story. Like, I tell the like, I know that story. I know the like, you know, a guy's down in a hole and he's struggling, and his friend comes by and says, Hey, what are you doing down that hole? And he says, I'm stuck down here, and I can't get out. And the friend jumps in the hole with him, and the guy goes, What are you doing, man? Like, now we're both stuck down here, and the guy that jumped in says, no, no, I've been down here before. I know the way out. Like, like, I love that stuff. Yeah, I still don't think there's a

Raylyn 55:51
guy I know. Time will tell man, time will tell I

Scott Benner 55:54
know, and I promise all of you who believe I will be the biggest hypocrite in that moment, I will just, I will start telling these stories about how I helped people and that it was hard for me to know, and I please. I need another chance. Don't you worry, I'll backpedal like a crazy person.

Raylyn 56:10
I think there might be a lot of backpedaling.

Scott Benner 56:14
Listen, at least I'm not purporting to be something I'm not right, right? I see a lot of people talking about religion online, and they don't say very godly things to each other. So right, right. Yeah, that's all. What else we got here on your list? But out took a weird turn. What was that? Because you asked me about the book.

Raylyn 56:29
I Yeah, we went down that rabbit hole for some reason, which I believe a rabbit hole is at the end of the email as well.

Scott Benner 56:35
So we're getting to it also. Let me tell you people something. At this point, 5 million people have started, or at least registered a podcast. Fewer than 80,000 of those 5 million podcasts do enough downloads to sell an ad. Okay? 86% of them still make what you would consider like, you know, money that you could probably collect on the street corner selling pencils, like, beforehand, like the ones that are actually able to be, I don't like the word monetize, but monetize because of the amount of people listen to it, are like 14% of, like, 80,000 Okay, I am one of those people, and I will tell you, it's because someone can ask me about the process of Writing a book, and 15 minutes later you're still entertained, and so you're welcome. I don't know where I got this from, but I want to remind my dead father that he said one day someone would slap me for my smart mouth, but you were wrong about that for sure. Anyway. Can you imagine if I was 10 and my dad's like, one day someone's gonna smack you across that smart mouth. And I was like, well, first of all, you've already done it a number of times, and you already beat him to it hasn't slowed anything down. But what if I was able to turn to Him, pull out a crystal ball and go, no, actually, I'll make a living with this smart mouth, like, look at this and help people at the same time. How crazy is that? You think that would have killed him right there?

Raylyn 57:58
I don't think it would have killed him. I think he might have smacked you again, because that's how that relationship works, right?

Scott Benner 58:07
The amount of times I was like, What am I going to say here? Do I pre Nah, I'll go for it. And, like, found myself dodging hands. I was like, Oh, why don't I do this? My mom later would be like, Why did you do that? And I'd say, Well, he was wrong. You're

Raylyn 58:26
like, I made it I made it out. And

Scott Benner 58:27
now that I'm an adult, there's nothing better than being told you're wrong by a 10 year old, that's for sure. I

Raylyn 58:32
know See, see it from the other side now too. You're like,

Scott Benner 58:35
Oh, I just thought I don't hit anybody when, when they're put out. I'm wrong. Amen, I stand there and I go, Oh God, I'm wrong. Yeah, right. Not only that, but this dipshit over here, they can't even, like, feed themselves, like, was able to figure it out,

Raylyn 58:49
right? Life is wild and humbling, isn't it? Do

Scott Benner 58:53
you like, how I told you before we started? Like, if you don't curse, I probably won't, but yet, you haven't cursed, and I've cursed. No,

Raylyn 58:58
I'm so proud of myself, because, yeah, I

Scott Benner 59:02
know where you're from. I know you want to curse with me, but you're just not. No,

Raylyn 59:05
I was, I didn't know who was going to come out today. Was it going to be like, funny? Raylan, anxious. Raylan, we be Raylan, like, curse like a sailor. Ray Lynn, so I'm just kind of along for the ride too. So you're

Scott Benner 59:15
doing awesome. Thanks. Advocating in healthcare settings. We've had an experience. Your daughter had her tonsils removed, we specifically asked to have it done at the hospital in case she needed glucose or fluids or whatever. We were put on the exact same floor of the hospital where she was diagnosed. Tell me more about the story. Yeah,

Raylyn 59:32
so this was pretty wild, so me thinking I was super prepared, and I knew it was going to happen, right? So we're, like, a year into having type one, she needs her tonsils out. I'm like, Can we do it in the hospital so that she can be monitored? Because I know she's at that point, she was my second kiddo to have the surgery. So I was like, I know she's not going to want to eat. I know it's going to be difficult, and I would rather be at a hospital immediately after surgery to make sure we're cool before I go home and have to figure this out. And it. Was like, night and day, because when she was diagnosed, you know, we had the diabetes educator come in. We had multiple people coming in and showing us how to use insulin. And overall, had, like, a really good hospital experience of them educating us, which I know is not the norm. They even had, like, this is the children's floor, like they had this playroom with all these toys and all these things going on. And so I come in a year later expecting to walk in with a pump and a CGM, and have to advocate a little bit, but also kind of expected, like, a base level of understanding. And there was, like none. It was like, felt like a completely different hospital. They still took good care of us and like, they let us have the CGM, they let me do everything with the pump. But the whole thing I said from the get go, was like, I'm really worried in case she goes low or Yeah, and like, she's not going to be ingesting anything. So that was the whole reason we were at the hospital. And I was very vocal about it, and then one night, she went low. And I have no idea why she went low. I don't know if, like, I dosed her wrong. I think it might have been because I probably still had her on automated mode, and I was kind of scared of manual at that point. With an Omnipod, she's like, going low. I buzzed the nurse. I'm like, Hey, I'm trying to give her, like, everything. I have ice cream, I have juice. Like, I'm trying to get her to eat anything because she's starting to trend low. I'm like, I gonna need some help. And she's like, okay, and she just kind of walks off, and I'm expecting her to, like, come back, like, we have the IV hooked up with fluids, you know, and hook in whatever she needs to and then she's, like, in the 40s, and like, Buzz. I'm like, You need to get, like, what's going on? Oh, you know. And they were just so, like, non understanding of the urgency. And I think looking back, there are things I could have done on my own. Like, my brain was so fixated on, I'm here, we have an IV. Like, this is the path to take. Like, I could have put a little something in her mouth, you know, and just handled it myself. But it was just interesting in the span of a year, the experience of, like, they didn't really even know what type one was, or how it worked, or the urgency of a blood sugar is 40. Like, in my mind, you should be like, running out there and calling someone and coming back in with

Scott Benner 1:02:18
a bag, you know. So first of all, was she okay? Like, can you look back? Yeah, she was

Raylyn 1:02:22
okay. I don't remember, slowly enough that by the time they finally did come in with something, it was okay. Or I don't remember if I finally got her to eat something. I don't remember that part of it, but I do remember sitting there and just, I mean, anytime there's like, a severe low blood sugar, like, in my mind, there are certain times where you know it's coming back up. And there's some times where you're kind of in a it's coming up slower than you'd like it. And so I kind of always Mentally take stock of, like, where's my glucagon at, you know, so that if I have to run, I know. So I actually, like, you know, had it in a hand and was ready. But

Scott Benner 1:02:53
what shocked you more? Did you feel like they didn't understand, or did you feel like they understood? But you were shocked by the kind of slowness of the response, like, looking back on it now, like, what was the part that got to you?

Raylyn 1:03:05
Yeah, I the lack of understanding. Because I think, you know, like, you have expectations that you don't realize you have. And I had an expectation, since we had been diagnosed at that hospital and stayed there for like three days, and they basically knew everything and helped. Yeah, yeah. I had an understanding, at least, like, a base knowledge, of, like, this is a low blood sugar and this is, like, an emergency situation if she can't eat, right? You know,

Scott Benner 1:03:30
it's been going over enough on the podcast, like, and we've had doctors on to talk about it and everything. And I don't know how to put it exactly, like, right? Somewhere between, they don't have a lot of experience with it, yeah? They also have a lot of type twos like that they see. So, like, you know, a low blood sugar with a type two who's not on insulin, like, probably doesn't make the same like, bells go off in people's heads, right? And then from there, they're so accustomed, like, you know, you don't want people in hospitals freaking out, right? Yeah? Like, a great nurse wouldn't be somebody who's like, Oh, my God, you were shot,

Raylyn 1:04:05
right? Which is why I'm not a nurse. I would be that person, yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:04:07
want someone working the steps, you know what I mean, like, right? And at the same time, what we wouldn't see, and I definitely wouldn't see it if I was in your situation, is that if your kid has a seizure, they'll do something about like, they always are thinking about it that way, like, well, like, we'll probably stop it. If we don't stop it, then we'll do this to stop it. I think they're just running through a checklist, right? They don't live with it mostly. So, like, you don't understand where all the fear is. And they're not accustomed, I'll tell you what else too, like to be a little, like, spicy here. They're not accustomed to you understanding what's happening, right? So you don't have opinions, right? If you were in there for a broken leg and your fever started going up, and you said, hey, my temperatures going up, they might know that it's like, you know, sepsis coming on, right? But you don't, they just go on. We'll get you some Tylenol. That'll be okay. And then you don't, you don't have opinions after that. So there. Also not accustomed to people having opinions. It's, it's a very complicated relationship, you know, when you're in a hospital, but the truth, in the end, the truth is, and I hate saying this, because I know it feels unfair. If you're going into a situation a doctor's office, in an emergent care in an emergency room in a hospital, you really do need to be an advocate for yourself, and that does mean paying attention far and wider than you expect, right? You have to be in charge, speaking up, staying, you know, on them like, you know, I've told people this story before, but, but my mom gets a cancer diagnosis, and the first doctor that sees her, she's older and she's got a big tumor, and he doesn't want to kill her, like, during surgery, so he just says, like, you know, we'll just manage, we basically, like, we'll manage her out. You know what? I mean, like, we'll make sure she doesn't feel any pain. She'll be out here in a couple of months. Blah, blah, blah. I mean, we were, you know, it's bigger, it feels bigger picture, but it's the same, it's the same conversation, right? I was standing outside, like staring, and my wife's like, what's wrong? And I was like, my mom's gonna die, and I think there's something I can do about it, and I don't know what to do, right? And I just stood there and just racked my brain. Like I was like, I don't know if, like, her things really operable or not. Like, maybe she is just gonna die two months from now. Like, maybe there's nothing that can be done about that. But I had this feeling in the back of my head, there was something about the way the doctor spoke to me that it wasn't as much about my mom, it was more about him. Yeah, and then I learned through a friend that the hospital the doctor works at scores his outcomes, and he needs his outcome, so if my mom dies during surgery, it hurts him, but if she just dies, it's okay. He doesn't touch it. And so I'm standing there, standing there in my backyard, staring, and it just occurs to me that my neighbor's kid became a doctor, and so I once helped him set up a television, and I texted him, and I was like, Hey, this is what's going on with my mom. And he said, Oh, I went to medical school with a girl who became an oncologist. And not just an oncologist, but like a, like a female reproductive oncologist. There's a name for it. It's alluding me at the moment, he goes, I'll text her. So he texted her and said, Hey, my neighbor's mom has this going on. And she said, I can get him her in to see my guy, like the guy she works for. That guy was just old enough and just cocky enough that he looked at my mom and said, Hey, you're gonna die in two months, but I can try to cut this out, and it might buy you more time. And then my mom lived, you know, a significant amount of time longer. Now I look back on that time that she lived, and the truth is, I'd have to start a new podcast and talk about it for 10 years to figure out if the year and a half for two years that she got was worth it, right, versus what she had to put into it, right? I wish she was here so I could ask her, right? But, but my point is, is that none of this happens without having the courage to, like, push back against somebody who I saw as being in a, you know, in a in a role of, like, I don't know, like a doctor. Like, how am I going to push back guys like an oncologist, he's got, he's a surgeon. He must know more than me, right? But I heard something in his voice, and I was like, I think this isn't really what he's telling me. Then I didn't have the nerve to do that. Then I had to go find people to help, and I didn't know who to ask, right? Like, my pathway to my mom's surgery is ridiculous. Yeah, you know, my neighbor's kid became a bone doctor. What is that

Raylyn 1:08:41
called? I can't think right now, bone Doctor sounds really good. Callie

Scott Benner 1:08:45
Torres on Grey's Anatomy is this, and for those of you listening and then, and he happens to have gone through med school with a girl who happens to be working for a guy who, like, you know what I mean, like and but I pushed and pushed and pushed, because that feeling inside of me of like, there's something we should be doing, and everything around me is telling me, No, shut up. But that can't be right. And I think you should apply that to your

Raylyn 1:09:12
diabetes. Yeah. I think it's important to listen to that feeling, yeah, no, for sure, like in all areas of life, but yeah,

Scott Benner 1:09:19
oh yeah. I mean, listen, we're talking about it like this, because it's a diabetes podcast, but you and I could get together and make a podcast about general health or about your kids education, or about getting a pothole filled in your town, or anything else. And the advice is the same, my mom's story about the cancer, it applies to all that stuff, right? You know, anyway, right? That's wild. I think your list is done. No, oh my gosh. What a list. What a list you did. Well, well, thank you. I was like, Yeah, today too. I just want to point that out, in case anybody else say it like, you know how my kid won't tell me I'm doing a good job. Like, this is, this is up to me. Like, I have to leave my own reviews for the. Podcast within the podcast.

Raylyn 1:10:00
Do you need to hear this? Scott, you did awesome today. Oh, raylin,

Scott Benner 1:10:04
you didn't have to say that.

Raylyn 1:10:09
Lovely. Thank you. You're like, you didn't have to. I'm blushing.

Scott Benner 1:10:14
Stop it. I'm getting warm.

Raylyn 1:10:17
Don't well up. Don't well up.

Scott Benner 1:10:19
Listen, I not for nothing, but for those of you listening again, this is a pretty popular podcast. A lot of people listen to it, I somehow weaved in so many different ideas that usually piss people off. But here you are at the end. You're not even mad at me. Even those of you who enjoy God are like, No, I like the guy. It's okay. That's my gift, right there.

Raylyn 1:10:39
That that's your gift, that's what you've been given. My wife used

Scott Benner 1:10:43
to say you could tell somebody their dog's dead and that you did it, and they'd thank you when it was over. Yeah. I was like, thank you. This was such a compliment. You're like, I think that's a compliment, and I'm gonna take it and run with it. I take it as a grand compliment. I think you should again, my favorite reviews are the ones who hate me. But listen to the podcast. There's

Raylyn 1:11:04
something. There something for everyone. Makes me so happy. I giggle

Scott Benner 1:11:07
inside. Although those of you who are hate listening, you make me the happiest, like I swear to I take so much like giggly joy inside thinking of a person who wakes up every day and goes, this guy's such an idiot, I gotta listen and see all the things you say and wrong. Like, I love that you don't know that every time you push play. I sell

Raylyn 1:11:29
that. But you just, you just told them, Don't let the secret out. It

Scott Benner 1:11:33
doesn't matter. It won't stop them. Okay? Yeah, they can't help it. It's awesome, by the way, you have a mental illness. You should speak to a therapist if you found me in my personal life and asked me what I do for a living, I would tell you, I have found a way to help people by doing something I like and I make a living at it. And in my wildest dreams, I never thought I would put those three things together and that any of you could do that you would be thrilled. I am truly, truly lucky. Like, like, sincerely, right, right, yeah, but if you just take away the help people part and the enjoy it part, and focus on the part where it pays bills for a second, it's hilarious that I pay my bills off of somebody who hates my literally doesn't like me at all, hates me, thinks the things I'm saying are ridiculous, that those people pushing play on their player pays my electric bill. It's insanely funny. I'm tickled by it in a way that is hard to put into words. Like, imagine, imagine, you know which one of your neighbors hates you, right? Raelynn, just think for a second. Oh, please. They all love me. Okay, well, the one that is joking, that person is sending you $20 a month. Isn't that great? That

Raylyn 1:12:48
would be amazing

Scott Benner 1:12:52
you're, by the way, I made up the $20 thing. I don't know how. I honestly don't know what I make per capita. I

Raylyn 1:12:58
don't know, but I'm waiting for my check now, and I'm gonna start being a lot meaner to people if it pays. Yeah, no

Scott Benner 1:13:02
kidding. Also, I'm not being mean. I'm just being myself. I actually think I'm pretty nice, but I'm from the northeast, so a lot of people probably don't see it that way, but I'm just saying I'm from a group of people who do you want to find the thing? Hold on a second. So wait. So first of all, I'm gonna get you the name of the grape smashing. Please do Rob, right now is like stop recording, you idiot. I have to edit this. Sorry, Rob. No, no, that's your so first of all, if you go to YouTube and type the word grape Okay, grape stomping lady falls comes up first, which gives me a ton, a ton of good feelings about the world. Okay, right? Grape stomping. Lady falls. Grape lady falls, original. Grape lady falls, 20 million views, 6 million views. I'm gonna go with grape lady falls, 17 years ago, 20 million views. Okay. Now hold on, okay. Can you hear this? These

Speaker 1 1:13:59
are filled with chambers. Yeah, I can hear it. And the winner this Saturday,

Scott Benner 1:14:05
none of this is important. She's telling her about the grapes. There's grapes in a bucket. All right. Now they're stepping in. Here comes the race. Ready? All

Speaker 1 1:14:13
right, ready? Give us a 32nd time. Here we go. So what's the deal here? There's a contest to stump. And how are you measuring who does the best dumping and whoever stomps the most juice wins an overnight stay. But it's not the only thing you can do. The measuring cups are down below, right? Measuring cups are down below, all right? And if you if you win, you have to say a shout to Ilan. And what else do you have going on here? Well, great. Something is what you're saying. You can come and spend the day listening to live music, eating international foods, having wine tours and taste okay?

Scott Benner 1:14:42
She's explaining the giveaway, right? And and she's about to, like, speed up to try to win

Speaker 1 1:14:49
tasting, vineyard tours, seminars, arts and crafts. It's a lot of fun a whole day, stop. Oh.

Speaker 2 1:15:07
Oh no,

Raylyn 1:15:14
oh no. Oh dear

Scott Benner 1:15:17
lady come back to the studio and the two empty heads in the studio. Oh, no. Oh, dear. I hope she's okay. She's not okay. She was begging pain to stop. Oh, she hits the earth. She goes, Oh, stop, stop. God. Anyway, I find that hilarious. Oh, gosh, that. And then hold on, one second fire, let's see. How do we do this? Philadelphia? Man, catches. Kid, eagles. Player, let's see if that gets us to it. There's no way that does. Oh, yeah, here it is. Philly fire. Witness, goes viral for shading. Eagles. Player, Nelson Aguilar, it's awesome.

Raylyn 1:15:58
Shade people will do over football. Okay, that point,

Speaker 3 1:16:01
that's when I started hearing the fire trucks coming down the street, things like in the far off distance or whatever, like that. Smoke started getting worse. Then I seen a guy hanging out the window, you know, screaming that his kids was in there and things like that. So I ran to the back door see if it was open. And it was. I ran upstairs, and then I was breathing with smoke. I ran back downstairs. By that time, the ladder truck was pulling up, and ironically, being my, one of my ex, my old co workers, took the ladder off, the off the truck, raised it up and assisting people down. My man just start throwing babies out the window. We was catching them, unlike Aguilar and his mishaps. I like to put that out there, unlike

Scott Benner 1:16:38
Aguilar, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. The best thing anyway, move to Philadelphia, and he's like, we're catching a man is throwing babies out of this building, and we're catching them. Pause, unlike Aguilar, the middle of the night, there's fire trucks everywhere. These people have been catching babies thrown out on Windows. And he's like, let me just point out, I really think the Eagles need a better receiver, the football, the football. Oh, it's awesome. Anyway, sorry, Rob, put all that together. Make it, make it so people can hear it. And Rob, if, if nobody can hear it, tell me, can we steal the audio from the internet and put it on so people can hear it better? Is that legal? I don't know. You guys can look it up. Don't be so lazy. Anything you want to say that you haven't said that we should finish on. No

Raylyn 1:17:25
man, I think, I think I'm good, awesome. Hold on. Thank you for having me on. Are you kidding me? You're delightful. I hear that a lot. Do you REALLY No, I

Scott Benner 1:17:35
don't know you do if you don't do people like you sometimes, yeah, I don't care if people like me, yeah, I know, right. I care that's a problem. Do you really? Yeah, okay, the burden. Okay, hold on a second.

A huge thanks to us met for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, don't forget us. Med.com/juicebox, this is where we get our diabetes supplies from. You can as well use the link or call 888-721-1514, use the link or call the number get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us. Med, I'd like to thank the blood glucose meter that my daughter carries, the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour, next.com/juicebox and don't forget, you may be paying more through your insurance right now, for the meter you have, then you would pay for the contour next gen in cash. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now, and links at Juicebox podcast.com to contour and all of the sponsors. The episode you just enjoyed was sponsored by the twist a ID system powered by tide pool. If you want a commercially available insulin pump with twist loop that offers unmatched personalization and precision for peace of mind. You want twist, twist.com/juicebox, thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card?

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