#812 Peach Clobber

December 23, 2022Scott Benner

Max has type 1 diabetes and is a returning guest. Her first appearence was on episode 558, After Dark: Life Struggles.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 812 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, we have a returning guest, we're going to be speaking with Maddie who's actually Max, but that you'll find out about later. Anyway, Maddie, where Max was on Episode 558, which is called after dark life struggles. And she's back today to tell us more about her life. Let's see if her struggles have gotten lesser. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. Or becoming bold with insulin. It's the end of the year, but you can still go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox and join the registry. Then just fill out the survey, the whole process takes fewer than 10 minutes. When you do this, when you complete that survey, you're going to be helping people living with type one diabetes, you're going to be moving research forward and you may find a little something in there for yourself. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash Juicebox. Podcast a lot of talking. Alright, ready to get going? Yeah. All right. Let's do it. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. You're gonna learn more about that great little meter at contour next one.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored today by us Med and US med is where we get our diabetes supplies and where you can get them as well. Us med.com forward slash where you can call 888-721-1514 This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo pen. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash Juicebox.

Max 2:17
Podcast I've been like thinking I was and I'm like I don't even know what to talk about. Like I didn't know anything really. I kind of feel forgot it until it showed up in my calendar this month. And I'll go Yeah, that's right.

Scott Benner 2:31
Let's let's we're recording already. Let's figure it out. So I figure it takes what about six months to get on the show? Is that about right?

Max 2:43
Yeah, I think so. Just about

Scott Benner 2:45
Yeah, from once I send a link it takes about six months so there's I'm not good with email MADI so, like, I know I have I have like a month's worth of emails I have to answer right now. And some people just keep sending them as if I haven't seen them. I'm like, Oh, this is just making it worse. Please stop. Please stop resending your emails. Overwhelmed. i It's just me here. So. But anyway, once once you get a link back, and I asked you to find a time it usually takes about six months to get something. And so, you know, they're most episodes that people hear. Take like a year to get to them. It's really interesting. But so you don't remember back then what made you reach out?

Max 3:29
I do. I do. Okay, having those stomach issues, and I was like my, my pancreas just doesn't like me.

Scott Benner 3:38
So wait a minute. You have diabetes?

Max 3:40
Yes. Do you do not remember our episode? Maddie?

Scott Benner 3:44
I don't remember anything. Are you kidding? Are you on the first time anymore? Oh, you're special? Hold on a second. What episode were you on the first time? What was it? Do you remember it was?

Max 3:56
So it ended up being an after dark episode when it wasn't originally planned to be? I do remember. You named it. I think it's like life struggles.

Scott Benner 4:07
Yes. Oh, it was just out. Like, it's funny. It's probably seem so long ago to you. But I was like, Well, that was just October 2021. It's only like, it's only like seven months ago. And I said come back on at some point. Is that correct? Yes, you did. Yeah. Okay. See, I mean, remember, it's a strong word, but I know what you're talking about. I only put afterdark out periodically. And there's been seven Since yours. And I've recorded four more. So what's in my head is the most recent one that I edited, which was about a boy who who had type one is mom had type one. And he he had some bipolar and was an addict and he over pod at some point and passed away. And so that that one's in my head right now. So All right. All right, Maddie, let's just refresh for people for a second. So for anybody interested Maddie was on episode 558 called after dark life struggles. So when you first came on to record that time, you didn't think it was going to be an after dark and I didn't either.

Max 5:17
Not Not at all. What, uh,

Scott Benner 5:19
what about our conversation, put it into the afterdark category?

Max 5:24
Um, oh, you were like, asked me about like, my childhood or like something or I don't remember what it was like I had mentioned something and you're like, oh, wait, wait, hold up. Like, let's talk about that. A little bit more editing.

Scott Benner 5:38
And then we found some stuff. Yeah.

Max 5:41
When we cried, we both cried, ladies.

Scott Benner 5:45
Well, that's not hard to get me to cry. So that's not a that's not a big bar to clear. But well, so since you've done it since you recorded it. Have you had any? Like, have you had any clarity? Like, has anything gotten better for you since then?

Max 6:04
Yeah, some things have gotten better than some things haven't, I guess.

Scott Benner 6:08
All right. Well, let's start at what got better. Go ahead.

Max 6:12
Okay. I got a new job that I really enjoy. But I'm not I'm gonna have to leave. I just put in my two weeks yesterday. I like moved. So the commute has been much longer it's been, like, very difficult. Like, unfortunately, like, I'm gonna find someplace you know, closer to home. So I did.

Scott Benner 6:38
So you found you found a job you liked, but it was too much of a commute.

Max 6:44
Well, in the beginning, it wasn't because I lived nearby. And then I moved. And it just like tripled my commute time. I was like, I can't especially because like at the you know, drop off my son like all over the preschool. Like before I come in, it's like way too early. A poor kid. He's the he's a trooper, though. Because like, I have to drop them off at six in the morning. And we get the wake up at five.

Scott Benner 7:13
Maddie, I just, I know who you are now. I know. It's weird for you. But I love you. I had so much fun talking to you. I got now I see your face. Like I just looked online. I'm like, I know this voice. I know who this person is. I'm like, damn it. And you know that little boy. Right? And oh my gosh. Oh, how are you? Um, I know, this is weird. I feel like we bumped into each other at the mall, I guess. Yeah, I feel like we bumped into each other at the mall. And like for the first couple of minutes. I'm like, Hey, how are you? You look great. I you know, and then one day and then have something I'm like, Oh my God. It's Maddie. I know who this is? Oh, well. Oh, now I'm so excited. Love it. Can you imagine that other people who have recorded the show are like, Wait, he doesn't know at all when we get. I really don't. But interestingly enough, that's how we got Maddie story the last time because I didn't know what we were talking about. Right. And actually, that's right. So alright, so you found you found a job. Let's do a high level here before we get into everything. So you're how old?

Max 8:24
I'm 25 now, right? Oh,

Scott Benner 8:27
congratulations. And how old is your son? He's four. Okay, you have type one. Yes. And what's, there's something going on with him? Am I right?

Max 8:37
She beat cancer. That's right.

Scott Benner 8:40
Look how I just said there's something going on. Little boy beat cancer. And I'm like, he had a thing. What was it? And he's still doing well.

Max 8:51
Yeah, I mean, he's doing pretty good. You know, we have to regularly get like checkups and scans done and stuff. I mean, no, cancer wise, everything was fine. So the he had to do like so much chemo and so much radiation that it eventually you know, caused him to not be able to walk during treatment. Like first it was braces up to his knee, like ankles and other places up to his knees and then it was those braces and a walker and then eventually it was just like nothing for a long time. So he has like very, you know, like his bones are still are still getting stronger. still catching up a little bit in some ways.

Scott Benner 9:38
Was he getting the bone pain after chemo?

Max 9:41
Yeah. So in that and then right when he was starting physical therapy, after he was able to like kind of walk again. Right when like he was like finishing it. He actually broke one of his legs. So He was in a cast for that. And then like he had to put on a boot. And you know, physical therapy longer. He was fine. It was like, about a year now. And then he actually just got seen for like his checkup again. And they're like, oh, like he has to start physical therapy again. His legs are a little bowed on there. Like, hopefully, like, we've caught it soon enough that we can correct it. Like, it's not like he's probably gonna have to get surgery next year. And I was like, Oh, great. Another thing

Scott Benner 10:36
we needed something to do. That's perfect news. Yeah.

Max 10:39
Oh, yeah. And then he's been like having stomach issues. And like, some of the tests done on his liver have been a little off. So we need to see a specialist for that too. Just because going through, you know, like the radiation and stuff. It actually gave him VOD as one of the side effects and it's like blood clots in the liver. And he's like in the hospital for a month straight, like hooked up to so much stuff like reversing it. So we've Yeah, we need to get his lover checked out with his liver checked out again. Hopefully that's okay. It's crazy.

Scott Benner 11:13
All the things that medicine can do for cancer now. You sent some since you and I spoke, my mom was diagnosed and had to have a pretty radical surgery to remove the cancer and she's 79 and and tolerated the surgery, okay. And she just finished her chemo last week. So she just got her. She just got her second scans back and they told her they look good. And she's she's trying to be proud of herself. But she's so old. She she's just like, she's from another time. She's like I said, I did that. Like what are we gonna do now?

Max 11:51
That sounds about right. Like completely done like with the maintenance chemo to

Scott Benner 11:57
she at the moment. She doesn't need any more chemo. So that's amazing. Yeah, we're all like, Mom, you should celebrate. She's like, Ah, I didn't do anything. That's like a big surprise party. Well, that's what we were talking about her birthday is, is coming up pretty soon. I said, Maybe we should do that. And if she can't celebrate it herself, well, we'll have to find a way to do it for you know, so Okay, well, alright, well, how's your diabetes stuff going?

Max 12:23
I was struggling again for a while. I'm actually just like getting back on track now. Because, you know, I want to get, I want to get a pump and real TGM you know, I just have the FISA libre. As my doctors like super for it, and like it would be much easier if I'm with my activity level. Now.

Scott Benner 12:51
How was your activity level risen?

Max 12:54
Its present insanely. I mean, I'm no longer like at a desk job. Now the job that I'm at right now that I'm leaving in two weeks, I'm like a team lead on a food manufacturing, like, production floor. So I'm like, constantly running around, and like a fridge and freezer for like nine hours a day. And then I I do roller derby now, for fun. So it's so much fun. I love it. So much. Like, I also just feel like a badass and it's great. And Oliver loves coming to practice.

Scott Benner 13:28
We used to go to roller derby, there was one near here, a league and we would go a lot actually, when we were younger to watch and our kids were really small. It was a ton of fun watching actually, I always like oh my god, they're gonna get hurt, they're gonna get hurt. And everybody was always kind of okay, it was interesting. How did you get involved? How'd you get involved in that?

Max 13:48
Oh, that's kind of a sad story now. So I don't know if you remember when we were recorded our first episode kind of got into like the topic of my mother, like my birth mother. And like she had, like, passionately when I was young. Oh, you know, it was like, the day before my birthday. And so it was like, I've never really enjoyed celebrating my birthday. You know, like, a lot like not every year, this past year, you know, like, I was sick. And you know, I just wasn't like feeling good. And I was like, out and about and I was like, I want to do something like I want to take myself out. No, and just randomly I looked online, I was like, oh, like what's happening like around me. There's like a roller derby about in 30 minutes and I could make it and I was like I'm taking myself like I'm I'm definitely taking myself to this right now. I did and like I just like fell in love with it. And like after that was done, you know, I was like how how can I get into this? Like tell me how now.

Scott Benner 14:58
Not that big are you

Max 15:01
Oh, I'm like, I'm almost five, six.

Scott Benner 15:04
Okay. All right. That's pretty. I guess that's pretty tall. Right?

Max 15:08
I feel like it's average.

Scott Benner 15:09
I think if he was tiny, I don't know why

Max 15:13
we're talking about that. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're small. And I was like, now

Scott Benner 15:19
it's your face. Like there's something about your face you you look like a, like a pixie or something. I don't know how to put it exactly. But you just you, when I see your face, I think the rest of you is gonna be super tiny for some reason, but five six is a legitimate pipe. So are you out there knocking girls around?

Max 15:36
Yes, yes. It's great. And I'm falling. Like I actually have like a, my left shoulders hurt right now. And like my right hip is a little bruised up. But, but it's fine.

Scott Benner 15:48
But it's fine. Because it's that much fun.

Max 15:52
Yes, I'm like, I pay to do this. And I enjoy doing this. And I'm like, I'm getting beat up on the rink, but it's fine.

Scott Benner 15:59
How often do you? Are you Is it a match, they call them matches?

Max 16:02
They call them bouts out. Okay? So actually think about like roller derby. It's like not a sport, you can actually just like jump in and join. You have to take a three month course before you can pass the skills test and then be able to join the League or team. I'm sorry. Now I'm like currently doing the they call it crash course. And actually get tested at the end of this month. I'm very excited. Oh, see,

Scott Benner 16:35
your three months is almost up. Yeah. And then you think you have to take the test. And if you take the test, and you can go like what do you go into like a pool and a team can pick you or do they assign you to a team?

Max 16:46
I actually can pick which team? Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 16:49
That's fun. Is it close to your house?

Max 16:53
So I mean, not really. I guess it's actually just close by my workout here. So it's like 3040 minute drive depending on traffic.

Scott Benner 17:04
Okay. All right. Well, I mean, if you're having fun, who cares, right? Yeah. And, and your son comes along to practices and everything.

Max 17:12
Yes, he loves it. And everyone loves him was because he's just too cute. Yeah,

Scott Benner 17:17
no, I know. I would. But it's, it's a nice thing. You get to see you're doing something active. And you guys get out and do stuff in your does it help you, like get frustrations out? Or what's the benefit of it?

Max 17:31
Like, like, I'm separating, or like giving myself like quality, like time with myself, like, like, I'm constantly working or like doing something. And Leah just like he gets it gets to be a lot sometimes. And I was like, I need to do something for myself. And I did. And it's it's just that fantastic. Like a stress reliever. It takes me. You know, like, out of thinking about everything going on. It's my escape.

Scott Benner 18:06
It's excellent. I'm glad you found something that is what were you before that just working and being a mom and working and being a mom? Yes, yeah. Are you seeing anybody? Are you just you and heal on your own right now?

Max 18:19
Right now. It's just him and me. So, actually, when my first episode came out, I actually was with someone that kind of just like, burned down in flames. It's okay. I actually like I prefer the single life like it's so much easier and like I'm one super busy anyway, I'm like, I don't even have time.

Scott Benner 18:41
Okay, well, maybe one day you'll meet somebody else. You said that your diabetes got off track what happened.

Max 18:50
Like, just like, with my ex, like I wasn't doing good, like mentally and so like I stopped, like taking care of myself and kind of just like, went down that little rabbit hole again for a little bit. But it didn't get to a point where I was like getting hospitalized for like DKA or anything like my blood sugar is just like obviously running higher. But I've been you know, like doing a lot better now that I was like, have separated myself from him. happened in February. Like it's only it's only been like two or three months.

Scott Benner 19:32
Can you just can you describe a little bit about what happens to you, you have a relationship, it doesn't go well. And as its ending, like specifically, you've stopped counting carbs you stop Pre-Bolus eating meals what like what what happens? And then how does it get away from you? When you have diabetes and use insulin, low blood sugar can happen when you don't expect it. G voc hypo pan is a ready to use glucagon option that can treat very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Find out more go to G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox G voc shouldn't be used in patients with pheochromocytoma or insulinoma visit G voc glucagon.com/risk. I've tried a number of different ways to talk about the Contour Next One blood glucose meter over the years, you know, talked about its size or how well it works. I mean, the accuracy alone is probably enough for you to be and I tell you about how the Contour Next One could end up costing you less money if you just bought it over the counter didn't even go through your your insurance. But in the end, I think what really resonates with people are these two things, I think this ad should be 10 seconds long, it should sound like this. The Contour Next One blood glucose meter is small, easy to use, and incredibly accurate. Plus, the test strips are for you Second Chance testing. So if you get some blood but don't get enough, which is not to say that it needs a lot of blood because it doesn't, but if you get some but not enough, you can go back and get more without messing up the earring or experiencing an error on the test trip. Alright, so maybe more like 30 seconds long. Anyway, contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. It's a place where you can learn more, you can get started. Or you can just buy all this stuff online with the big buy now. Link that you'll see when you get there. Contour next.com forward slash juicebox in the end, you want and deserve an accurate blood glucose meter. Everything starts with that test and what it says right is it accurate? I mean just my blood sugar at I want to know contour next one.com forward slash juice box. Now we're gonna move on to talking about the place where arting gets her diabetes supplies and no surprise here you could get your supplies there as well at us med.com forward slash juice box now go to the link to get started. That's it us med.com forward slash juice box if you don't prefer the internet, if you're like really attached to the phone call 888-721-1514 These are your options. They are plentiful and easy no matter what you choose. Why would you do this? Well, just quickly. US med accepts Medicare nationwide and over 800 private insurers. They have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and they always provide 90 days worth of supplies and fast and free shipping. US Matt has everything from insulin pumps the diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the FreeStyle Libre three and the Dexcom G six. Pretty soon there might be other Dex coms better service and better care is what you're going to get from us med they're the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems. Number one specially distributor for Omni pod dash we get our Omni pod supplies from us med we get our Dexcom supplies from us med you can to us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888721151 for get your free benefits check and get started with white glove treatment from us med it's that easy. And you have time off. The holidays are coming. I know you're sitting around not doing anything. Call us. Alright, just a tiny bit of music laughs let me remind you, T one D exchange.org forward slash use Box go take the survey. And let's get back to Maddie. Who will soon be max you'll see about that in a second

you've stopped counting carbs you stop Pre-Bolus eating meals but like what what happens? And then how does it get away from you?

Max 24:04
Like I just I usually stopped taking my ADHD medication. That's like a big thing that like actually helps me take care of my diabetes because without I'm like, oh, like I don't want to do this. I'm not going to be physically able to basically. Um,

Scott Benner 24:23
is that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. There's a little bit of a lag. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Max 24:31
I'm sorry. So yeah, I was saying you know, like, I stopped taking my medication. And then I stopped taking my insulin like I'm not watching what I'm eating. And then like, let go Yeah, like I'm feeling a little crappy but I'm not like awful like, awful. Like I had, like I said, like, have had DK anything because it was like I was I was still taking my long acting. So I still had something in me, but it was like yeah, like, just like hovering For carbs, really eating like I should.

Scott Benner 25:05
So so. Okay, so let me see if I can understand a little bit or maybe we can figure it out together. So life starts to fall apart in your personal life, you stopped taking the ADHD medication? Is that on purpose? Do you do that? Because you know, without that you won't have to focus on all this stuff? Or does it happen by mistake, where life gets hectic, you miss a pill, then you miss another pill, and then all of a sudden, you're experiencing ADHD at its full power. And then it's hard to even start taking the pills like which, which do you think happens?

Max 25:42
Man, it's more of like a purposeful act, they kind of like go like, I'm just gonna like, mess my meds. Like I woke up late anywhere, like, whatever. I was just like, it'll be like a super busy morning. And like, I space it. And it'll be like, Oh, just a couple hours later, oh my gosh, like that's, like struggling. I'm like, I don't want to take it, you know, late in the day, because then I it's like, it's hard for me to go to sleep. And it just like, it just makes it even worse. But then yeah, so I'll like notice, and then like, almost like, the next day, and then I'm like, You know what, like, whatever. Like, I've already missed it. Like, I don't care to take it. And then and then my diabetes starts declining along with that.

Scott Benner 26:27
How? How aware? Are you of what's happening while it's happening? Like, do you see it crumbling around you and you don't care? Or do you not notice it right away?

Max 26:40
I'm very aware of it. He was like, hyper aware. But no. So why is that was never been really want to reach out. I was like, I can do it on my own.

Scott Benner 26:58
So what's interesting because it's a conflicting, it's a conflicting message, right? Like so you're saying I want to check out and at the same time, you're saying I don't need help, I can handle this in a moment when you're not handling it. And, and but yet, has this ever happened at all with with the care of your, like, remind people for a second? How old was your son when he was diagnosed with cancer? He was two, he was two, which made you about 22 years old. I was

Max 27:31
23.

Scott Benner 27:32
Okay, so made you're really young. He was really young. You were really young. Did you ever falter for taking care of him? Or were you always handling him?

Max 27:41
Oh, no. Like it. It was hard. For me, it was very hard, um, literally, like, the next month after I had actually gone missing. Um, I I actually just, like, reconnected with an old friend acquaintance. And he was like, he's like, I'm pretty sure. Like, the way I found out about it, like you missing was like, on the news. And I was like, I didn't even know I was on the news. I was like, I knew it was all over Facebook. And like social media. Because he like my finally came to and like, contacted, you know, like my sister. And like, I was like, I'm okay. Like, I just, like, seen it all over social media. I didn't, I wasn't worried that it was on the news. How long

Scott Benner 28:28
were you going for?

Max 28:31
So I was, I think it was like, two days, like a day or two.

Scott Benner 28:39
You just kind of picked up and left, like, ran away from everything or

Max 28:45
so like, all after all of it was diagnosed, like, you get sad. Like, fell into like a depression. And again, you know, like, I stopped taking, like my ADHD medication. And then I stopped taking care of my diabetes. And then like, what I try to explain to people too, is like, you know, someone without diabetes or like a very, you know, like, serious medical condition. You know, they can fall into a depression, like very easy, and, you know, like, people won't like shower for like weeks or like, clean their house or, like, they won't go to work. I'm an effects on like, so badly. And I was like, with having a medical condition like diabetes, it's like a, get some so much like, scarier like worse, like life threatening. Like, it can be like so much quicker, you know, because of that.

Scott Benner 29:41
Right? Because it's not just it's not just you kind of shut like sheltering yourself away and being depressed. It's everything else is happening at the same time and you have the ADHD medicine on top of that. So it's that it's diabetes. The one thing makes the other thing more difficult actually, they both make the other thing more difficult. So I would imagine once your blood sugar gets high, you're probably I mean, more easily annoyed and irritated. And then everything just keeps piling up, right? Yeah, you just kind of took, you have to remind me, do you get high or? No?

Max 30:19
So I mean, not very often, but yes, I do.

Scott Benner 30:24
Is that where you disappear to for two days or?

Max 30:27
No, so actually, you know, like, I stopped taking care of myself. And I, I really enjoy driving like to just like, calm down, you know, like, I used to live in Orem. And where I lived was very close to like, the canyon, like the mouth of the canyon. And I would just like drive, like, drive through almost every day. And so like, I went for a drive, because I was just like, I need to chill out a little bit. Like, I'm just like, so emotional, like, I'm so stressed out, like, I'm so upset, you know, like, all of this is going on, and my blood sugar was super high. And I was like, I like pulled off the freeway at some point, because I was no longer living near the canyon. So I'm just gonna drive on the freeway for a bit and then turn around and come back. But I woke up in the hospital. I'm, like, I pulled over and like call for help, or something happened. And that was, I was just there.

Scott Benner 31:32
Where was your son for those few days?

Max 31:35
So he was with his dad. So actually, like, how they became aware of me, you know, I just like being missing or something being wrong so quickly, was because that night, all of his dad was supposed to drop them off to me. And he was like, she's not answering her phone. Like she's not answering like the door like nothing. Like, oh, like she's not here. And then they're like, Okay, like, we need to file like a missing persons report. We need to get on this like super quick.

Scott Benner 32:08
Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, geez. All right, Maddie. You know, it doesn't take long for me to start feeling paternal in these conversations and like, I start getting upset. It's upsetting at them. So the most recent time that you that things kind of fell off for your care. This was about it was about just kind of a breakup of a relationship. And when it was happening, and it was the same thing that had happened to you in the past? Is that Is there any guardrails for you to help you get back quicker? Or do you have somebody in your life that you could turn to to say, hey, it's happening? I need you know, I need somebody to make sure I'm on my ADH ADHD medication, so that I can keep taking care of my diabetes, or is it just like this, it just fall off? Like it's you understand on me? Is there anything in place for you, anybody who can support you?

Max 33:04
I mean, I know I have support my family and like my friends and like, all of his dad's family's there for me. Like I said, I'm just very hyper independent. And I'll be like, I don't want to ask for help. But then like, it'll get to a point where I'm like, okay, like, no, like, I need help. Ashley's young, just reach out to Oliver's dad's mother and his fiancee, as well as like, not like I'm struggling, like, I need help. Like, I don't want this to affect Mike, my care for all of her, you know. And, you know, like, they're, of course, like, they're happy to help, like, they would help as much as they can. Like, without a doubt, it's just I know, myself or I'm just like, hard headed. But then like, I'll, like now, like, I'll come to the realization a lot sooner than than later.

Scott Benner 34:04
Can I ask you something I think is going to be difficult, but I'm wondering. I mean, you're here. So how old was she? How old? Were you again when your mom passed?

Max 34:15
So it was the day before my seventh birthday?

Scott Benner 34:18
Okay. Do you have any concerns about your own life? Do you think you're going to die early?

Max 34:24
I do. Um, a lot of people are like, No, that's not true. Don't think that way. Isn't mean like, I have a lot, you know, like, of medical conditions now. And like, I know, like, my body is damaged from all of the residents. They miss care, but I was like, no care at all. No big really growing up because I was also like, such a late diagnosis with my ADHD. Or like, I just like I just wasn't able to like it was it was like so debilitating. I'm like, try, like just trying to be like I couldn't because we didn't know or like it wasn't like addressed when I was younger.

Scott Benner 35:08
So, ADHD type one diabetes, tell people what else you have going on.

Max 35:15
Okay, so yeah, so ADHD type one diabetes, chronic pancreatitis, exocrine. pancreatic insufficiency, diabetic neuropathy. I have endometriosis and polyps Oh, I have all sort of colitis now, apparently and they're like still trying to determine whether or not I have Crohn's disease.

Scott Benner 35:47
Are you being helped with any of this? Like it? Or is there a way to make any of it better?

Max 35:54
Oh, and I have medication for most of those things, or, you know, like specialists and stuff like that.

Scott Benner 36:07
Can you just can you describe how the endometriosis affects you?

Max 36:12
Oh, so I used to have super like insanely heavy periods and like the worst cramps ever like I was prescribed, like, like actual like narcotic like pain medication for how bad my period would hurt me. And I was actually starting to get like abscesses like on my ovaries. And like it's just a

Scott Benner 36:43
matter you're gone alongside Maddie because you hear me You disappeared for a second abscesses on your ovaries. That's the last thing I heard.

Max 36:54
Yeah, so I was just like, I need to, I need to get this fixed. Like somehow or like, get, like some treatment for it. And you know, you tried a whole bunch, like, different like birth controls. It's also tricky, just, you know, like diabetes as well. There's like, like, I can't take the pill because if you have diabetes, it actually puts you at high risk for blood clots. So I was like, can't do that, you know, try some other things like didn't help. me like I had to get surgery for my endometriosis to like, basically, like, scrape off the scar tissue off of like my reproductive organs.

Scott Benner 37:34
Does that help at all?

Max 37:36
It actually did for like, about a year after I had it done. And then I started getting into pain again, and like the heavy bleeding. And so I went back to my doctor and I was like, Can we please like, do this surgery again? I was like, in tears begging him and he was like, No, he was like, the reason why we can't like do it like yearly or like very often is because like multiple surgeries actually just make it worse. It's gonna cause even more scar tissue. Like adding on to like everything else going on with your endometriosis. Okay, okay, yes. But, you know, like, obviously, like having a period like hormone stuff like that, that also, you know, like raises your blood sugar. And then it it was just like, it'd be like, I wouldn't eat because I was in so much pain, just like making it a little bit harder to manage. And then, sorry, like, when I first got that surgery, actually, I hadn't been diagnosed with ADHD yet. And so you know, like, I, you know, a lot of pain, I'd stay in bed, I'd miss my medication, I'd start to miss my insulin. So I mean, I feel like everything just affects the other and it makes it difficult.

Scott Benner 39:00
No, I understand. Well, did your health issues have anything to do with your last relationship networking? Or was it just purely personal?

Max 39:11
It was personal. A I started seeing some red flags. Then I ignored it for a little while. And then I started adjusting them and then made things worse. And as I needed, like, I'm done like I need to get out of this like, as quickly like as possible. Because like, obviously, as I've as I've grown, I'm more aware of things I've learned from my past mistakes. I need to take this care of now. Like I can't, I will not tolerate this anymore. Good for

Scott Benner 39:52
you. Remind you your father's still around?

Max 39:57
Yes, yeah. So my father was about like, half an hour for me, my biological father, the My stepfather that raised me are talking about that last step. So you don't have any contact with him anymore.

Scott Benner 40:12
What would your would your biological father be a good, like backup for you? Like, could you explain to him what you're going through and tell them you need, like support and help sometimes even if it's like, just emotional or, you know, somebody around? Yeah,

Max 40:26
like, most definitely. Yeah. That's funny, because I actually, I went to my parents, for Mother's Day, brought Oliver with me. And my mom was like, oh, or, well, my stepmom, my father's wife, I call her mom. Um, she was like, we like kind of like one of the, like, tell you something about like, like your sister, and like your dad. They're like, they like both. I've just recently been diagnosed with ADHD as well. I was like, Oh, my God. I was like, we got it from you. Because it actually is like, you know, a genetic thing, you pass it down. I was like, we bought it from you. But, like, kind of got emotional. Because, like, when you're late diagnosis, it's like, you look back on your life, and you're like, if only, you know, like, we found out so much sooner, like, my life would have been so much different. Like, my life makes so much sense now, like, I thought it was crazy, or like, whatever. Or like, the missed potential, you know,

Scott Benner 41:35
yeah. If he had, if he had the medication, he might have been able to do something differently. And it could have had a cascading effect and an impact that everybody puts, you would have known earlier that you had ADHD and, and then you could help sooner.

Max 41:49
And so it was just like, like, better see? And then I was like, now you can like, and like, understand, when I was younger, and they're like, why can't you just like, take your insulin, like, you know how to do it like, you like you're capable of doing it. You've had it for so long. But like, why can't you do it? And I would tell I'd be like, I just don't know, like, I will think about it, like, it will be like a huge, like weight in my brain. You know, I'm like, It's all I can think about. I'm just not physically able to will myself to do it. But I want to like the the ones there. But I just I can't.

Scott Benner 42:31
Is there anything that could force you to overcome? I mean, I don't know, obviously, I don't have ADHD. So I don't understand it completely. But I mean, it's, I'm struck while we're talking and remembering your story from the first time and then building on it here. I mean, you lost your mom, when you were young, I assume you don't want your son to lose you is that I'm sure it's in your head, like you're a smart person. You think about things, it's in your head, but that's not enough, right? You can't overcome it just because of that.

Max 43:02
It's like, it'll work for like a little bit. And he was like, what ADHD is like, like, the dopamine. And it's like, A, that's like, what I was also like, 2020 like my parents, when I was younger, I was like, I, I can take care of myself. You know, like, once I start like, so I'm getting like the dopamine from it. But then it's like, once the dopamine like runs out. It's like it just I fall back into the cycle of not doing it. But then it's like, oh, I can do it for a couple months. And then I just like fall off because I'm not. I'm not. I'm not happy with it. I'm like, I hate taking care of babies. No one wants diabetes. Like, I just get to the point and I stopped or I used to stop. Now I'm medicated, medicated I can do it.

Scott Benner 43:54
No, it's mean, it's hard not to feel bad when you're talking. Because, I mean, you really, you need somebody there who's not, who doesn't have ADHD who can help you stay, you know, on the path you're on. And notice when you're off the path and get you back on it quickly. How long was the break from you taking care of your health? Like when you say I think you said like the relationship kind of stopped in February. How long did it take you to get back to my house?

Max 44:25
So actually, I moved out of his house in early February, okay. took about a month. It's a because another like hard thing to do was like moving like all my prescriptions over and then having to get like Doctor authorizations and like, you know, just like getting everything switched over was like such a hassle. And then for a while the pharmacy was like, oh, like your insurance isn't active and I was like, What are you talking about? And I was like, I literally went to the doctor like last week. I was like I've had my insurance for years like, and like it says it expired in 2013. And I was like, That is insane. And so it turns out, you know, the, like, while I hadn't been able to, like, fill my prescriptions because I was like, they're insanely expensive, like, I'm not able to afford that. They're like, oh, like, we finally call the insurance like, because like, I told them, I was like, you know, I was like, I have not leaving this, like, counter until you call them because like, I need this to live, like, come on. Like, oh, I guess they like change, like the system or whatever. Like, we don't need to put like the two extra zeros at the beginning of the number. And I was like, oh my god, that was really, that was it?

Scott Benner 45:45
Yeah, yeah. Do you have a question? Do you have a roller derby name yet? Because I have a suggestion if you don't have one.

Max 45:53
I do you. What is your suggestion though? I want to hear it. Well,

Scott Benner 45:57
as I as we used to watch roller derby. I would tell Kelly all the time. If I ever become a woman and start doing roller derby, I'm gonna make my name chicken patty. I love it. I don't even know why I just think it's hilarious.

Max 46:19
Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I do have a roller derby being my roller derby name is peach clobber? For short, I go by peaches.

Scott Benner 46:31
That's good, though. That's excellent. piece. Kloppers Excellent.

Max 46:36
Oh, what I also love about like roller derby is we actually have a couple girls that have type one as well. Yeah, so the first person I like was skating around with like, basically like, the hollows you call it like it puts that word. Like orientation, I guess for like, the derby. I was like skating with her. And I had noticed her she hasn't Omnipod. And I was like, Oh my God. I was like, I need to show you something. And like, I pull down my shirt and like a shoulder my sensor. And she's like yeah, so yeah, I think she's actually a travel nurse. She has type one as well. And she actually has a she has a an alert dog to like she's brought him once.

Scott Benner 47:33
Volcana No. Hate so not to not to make this a business thing for me. But you're saying on on the paddle. Stay on while you're participating in roller derby? Yes. Wow. Um, the pod.com forward slash juice. Thank you take that opportunity. Yeah, that's really a great idea. I mean, if it's gonna hold on for that, I can't imagine what it wouldn't hold on for. So you see, you've met some people? Well, you've met people with type one through the roller derby already? Yes, that's right. Yes. Is there any kind of I mean, obviously, the podcasts and I mean, the Facebook page and stuff like that, for like diabetes exists? Is there community around ADHD at all?

Max 48:21
And, like, I've, like seen groups like on Facebook. I mean, the only ones they've really like joined is just the ones that have means get my giggles

Scott Benner 48:40
I guess it would be hard, though, right? Because when you need help, you're usually struggling or when you're struggling with ADHD, you're not taking your medication, maybe. And then, I mean, that makes it difficult for you to be I would imagine focus to help other people as well as yourself. Right? Maybe it doesn't lend itself to it. I don't know. I just thought, I don't know the entire time you're talking like, I just want you to have like a person. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. I just want you to have somebody that you can turn to when you need it. Because you're still super young, like you've been through enough in literally just the last couple of years to fill a lifetime for somebody. Seriously, I it's not it's not right. It obviously there's no fair not fair in the world. That's not how things work. But if there was, you'd be getting screwed, you know? Yeah. For sure. Do you notice that changing at all as you get older? And I'm just asking like as your mind? I mean, I'm trying to ask as you get more mature. But I mean, I don't know your maturity might have come pretty early in life. But But do you notice that at all? Do you notice like as you get older, you get more experiences and it becomes easier or is it the same struggle today that it was, like five years ago?

Max 50:00
Now it becomes much easier. I attempt to like, look back, you know, often. And I'm like, oh, yeah, like in that moment, like, I may have been, like confident about my decision or like, didn't care about something or whatever. And like, I reflect a lot on like, I've, I've learned, you know, from mistakes, from decisions, like stuff like that. And it really does help me out now. I can, I can definitely tell you like, I'm more responsible. You know, I, I put in an effort, much more than I used to. Yeah. Like, there's, there's been a big change in me. Oh, funny about that. It's talking about big change. I don't know if you noticed on like, my Zoom name I read or whatever. I like Maddie slash max. So since we've, you know, talked last I go by Max now, like, how

Scott Benner 51:04
do I not know this? I'm sorry. I wish you would have told me 45 minutes ago, but that's okay. So, tell me about that.

Max 51:16
Okay, so, um, I used to be a waitress and the restaurant that I was waitressing at, there was two other Maddies. So there's three of us. And I was like, you know, I was like, We need something to distribute that work to

Scott Benner 51:35
differentiate. I know this one. Yeah. Hold on. Let me, Max. Let me have this for a minute. Because there's times I don't get them. Differentiate. Yes. Excellent. Go ahead. Thank you. I was just showing off God.

Max 51:49
And I was like, you know, I'm going to change my name you like it, we're first I was just at work. I was like, you guys, like call me max out. Like, I got a new name tag, you know, like, change my server card. And I was like, you can just call me max. And I liked it. I really liked it. Like, I felt like it just like really resonated with me. And then I started introducing myself as Max outside of work. And it just like, stuck, it just felt right. And eventually came to a point one I was like, Maddie who like like, I didn't even like react to the name anymore.

Scott Benner 52:32
And this is just the name. It's not like a gender thing or an identity thing.

Max 52:37
name, gender, like involved. And I was like, thinking over and I was like, yeah, like, since that, like, I feel like, I've just also like really have grown so much as a person. I feel like, I'm like, I've outgrown Maddie like, I'm not I'm not Maddie anymore. Like that's, I'm not that person. A, I have blossomed into a beautiful butterfly called Max.

Scott Benner 53:08
Well, that's really wonderful. Do you? Do you find people asking you what it's short for? And then you have to say, it's just max or how does that work?

Max 53:18
Oh, yeah, I get asked that pretty often. And I was like, I'm like, no, like, like, I'll tell them my own name. I'm like, my, like, actual name is Madeline. So but I just I don't go by that. Like, no, they're like, Max like really suits you. Or like we like Madeline's not it and I was kinda

Scott Benner 53:40
it would definitely you. I mean, your face. I don't know. I look at you. And I have to agree. I don't know that Madeline's The first thing I would think of if somebody asked what your name was. So what? What about like, talking about it for one more second, like, just choosing a different name, like rebranding yourself or feeling like you're starting over? Is that is it gives you a big kind of psychological boost.

Max 54:04
Like that? Definitely. Because, you know, like I said, you know, I look back on my life. Well, you know, I look back, you know, a couple years ago, and like, I was, I was very different. I was a lot a lot more different. You know, and I'm like, Yeah, I'm gonna just like that's that's not me. And now I was like, this new like this new Max that's doing like, good and like or like better No, just it makes me feel you know, just happy through me like I'm, I'm a new person like I'm becoming more of like what I wanted but wasn't doing back then.

Scott Benner 54:44
You think you're raising yourself right now? Does that make sense? Like do you think you're raising yourself right now like you're you're a mom to Oliver. Do you think you're you're allowing yourself to kind of guide your guide yourself as well, not just him. That makes I'm not sure. Yeah. Are you? There thought just went right out of my head. Dammit. This is what happens when you get old backs. It's, um What was I gonna say? raise yourself. I can't find it. Damn, I'm sorry. I just been diagnosed ADHD I just, I just blew the flow of the conversation dammit. That pisses me off. I'm so proud of when conversations flow from one thing to another. And I just, I just ran in the middle. I just ran in the middle this talk and y'all stop everybody stop. That I didn't have anything to share after that. I can't for the life of me thinking what I was just gonna ask you change your name. Make you feel different? Are you do you feel like you're raising yourself? God, I'm gonna curse. Fuck you back. Yeah, I can't find it. Alright, you say something. And I'll go back and find it later.

Max 56:00
Ah, now I don't even know what to think about because I was thinking about you not thinking of that thing anymore.

Scott Benner 56:08
And the episode is over. Maddie will be back when she can refocus in a few months. And we'll keep talking. right where we left off? Well, I mean, you just, you've been through so much in such a short amount of time. I understand the idea of just wanting to start over again and leaving behind the stuff that happened before? Are you able to leave behind some of it? But not all of it? Or do you have to just like draw a line and start over?

Max 56:43
I'm not sure I really understand what you're asking.

Scott Benner 56:47
Like, can you? Can you remember your mom? For instance? Without being sad about your mom? Can you pick and choose what you bring over to the to the max life? Or? Or do you have to just cut everything off that happened before and start fresh?

Max 57:04
Oh, no. Like I can like definitely, like, look back at your like things or whatever. And, like not get upset about it. Like it doesn't, like a lot of things don't really affect the now it's changed the current events, I guess. Like sometimes it can, you know, like, it will affect me usually, like if I'm going through something, you know, like in the now. And that makes me kind of like remember something else. I'm just like, oh, like it's been so bad. But if like it's just a normal climb or whatever, like, I can talk about stuff like I can remember things like, like, everything's fine won't affect it.

Scott Benner 57:48
Because it will eventually be as it sounds crazy when you're 25 Maybe, but eventually it will be 20 years from now. And you'll be 45. And this time won't be as bright of a memory. And you'll still be living in the moment. And colored by what has happened to you in the past. But you'll learn as you get older that it's just it's not as important. Nothing's really as important as it feels in the moment. But the only way to make that true is to keep living and keep going. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?

Max 58:23
No, it makes perfect sense. When, you know, somehow someone hears about, like something that I've gone through like some like, whatever. Now they're like, oh, like you're, like so strong or like, oh, like how, like, how are you doing or like stuff like that, or when someone else is going through something. And like, even just like have a little problem, like happens in your day or whatever. Like, I always tell people I'm like, okay, like, that's, that's happened now, like you've experienced whatever, like you've experienced, but it's not past, you know, I'm like, right now, like, in this moment, you can make a decision to like, make it better, or, like, make it worse, or like, ignore it or whatever. I was like with that, like, ultimately, it's up to you. And I was like, you can't change what's happened. Like it's happened, you know, like, just focus on the future for you know, like the present and, you know, work towards a better outcome of the situation that's happening,

Scott Benner 59:24
you know, on the podcast, and like I talked about insulin and I say, what you're doing with insulin right now isn't for now it's for later. Oh, yeah, I think life's like that. So the truth is, if you really, if you really listen closely to the podcast, you'll hear how I think about things over and over again. And you'll see that I really just managed diabetes, the way I think about life. So, you know, and that's sort of where the savings come from, and the ideas and stuff like that. And I think about that, to simplify the idea. My son is 22 now, and he's gonna grow traditional college and a couple of weeks. And it's possible unless he goes on to play somewhere else that the other day, Cole played in his life, his last baseball game. And he started playing when he was four. So there was an 18 solid years of him playing baseball, like I'm not kidding. Like there was no breaks, he didn't take off the season. Cole played in the spring he played in the summer, he played in the fall like holes been playing baseball for 18 years. And as you're doing it, you look for purposes sometimes, because it's not a thing you succeed at. Often. I mean, let alone constantly look big you can have, you can show up on a Saturday and be bad or not have success, and then still go to practice on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday, and then come back on Saturday, and it doesn't work out. But then three weeks from now it works out and then a little workout for a couple of days. And then it stops and it goes back and forth. And anyway, that's hard to stay focused on while you're in it. Because you're working so hard. You think, Well, every time I whip this thing out to show it to somebody, it should do what I need it to do. I've practiced so hard. But I used to tell him that you don't play baseball. For what happens today, you play baseball, to keep playing baseball. So that the next time you do this, you'll be a little better at it so that you can keep building up these experiences and get better and better and better. And why? I don't know, there's no answer to that. Because Because even as a college baseball player, there's divisions in baseball, D 123. And JUCO. There's four divisions. At in any year max, only about 9000 Kids are playing college baseball. And the year that they started little league when they were for like my son, 4 million children started playing baseball that so it went from 4 million, right? I forget the number who plays high school baseball, it's still a pretty large number. But then the ones that go on to play in college just over 9000. After that, I think there were only like 3000 professional baseball players in the world or something like in America maybe. And so when you don't, when you don't have the expectation that the end result is going to be that you're on television playing baseball, because well, that's a fairly unrealistic goal. What is it that you like hanging your hat on? Right? Like everyday? Like, why am I doing this? And, and so I just told him, I was like, you're just doing it, to get better at it. And it's not for anyone else. It's not, it's not for your teammates. It's not for your coach, it's not for the game you play in. I don't care if you show up every week and you you'd never get ahead. Like just get better. Like be be accountable to yourself that and I guess the nice way to like the easy way to say that is that it's the journey, not the destination, I guess is the way people put it. Yeah, but I think about that for diabetes. I think about that for baseball, I think about it for my own life. And I want very badly for you to think about it that way too. That's how I find myself feeling while you're talking. So you might not agree with me. But

Max 1:03:11
oh, I'm lazy like another like thing I kind of remember it's like progress, not perfection.

Scott Benner 1:03:19
Yeah, it because there's no point to the thing like eight because like, let's say that it calls last baseball game, he got up three times and hit three home runs, it would still be over the next day. Right? It's just It's just what it is and things in life come and go. And so it's not about being perfect at it or showing somebody that you're good at it even it's about it's about finding a thing that you like, and putting your effort into it. I don't even know if it's about getting better. I think it's just about being proud of yourself for trying maybe. I don't know it's kind of how I say it. But you didn't come on here for that you didn't ask me to write you don't need that all those was pretty profound. I felt it as I was saying it

next I was like I have a thought here I wonder if I can get it out succinctly and then it took me six minutes to say it

Max 1:04:19
you gotta back and that's account some people

Scott Benner 1:04:21
will that later email and say you could have just said it's it's the journey not the destination anyway, that's on let's a podcast if I just said that the whole thing be 30 seconds long, right? We gotta we gotta talk. We have to talk. Is there anything we have not spoken about that you were hoping to talk about today? Although you just remembered recently that you're coming back on so I doubt it

Max 1:04:50
I think I think that might be it.

Scott Benner 1:04:51
I think we did good.

Max 1:04:53
I think yeah, I think we done good.

Scott Benner 1:04:55
Yeah. So Oliver's doing well. He's having some pride albums but you're, you're addressing them. Wow. And how about your stomach? Are you able to eat? And are you having fairly successful days for yourself?

Max 1:05:12
I am now so so yeah, I was in like very well like like after I was originally diagnosed with the EPI, but then like my stomach issues actually just a few months ago to like two three months ago now there's certain effects be really bad again, like it was awful I was like okay, like I have to go back to the specialist like see what's up because I did it literally put me in the hospital two weeks in a row, hey, I was like something up. So I like all whole bunch like more like tests on or whatever. And that's when they go like you have all sort of colitis like, um, some doctors you know, like we're saying it was Crohn's and then some like weren't. So do like some more tests on to figure that out. And then they like up to my dose on the enzyme replacement therapy. And so that's been like helping out like a lot. You know, some days I do feel like my stomach kind of acting up or whatever. But for the most part, it's it's doing well. But I still have to heal

Scott Benner 1:06:26
an autoimmune condition correct ulcerative colitis? I think it is. Let me take a look. I'll use the internet. Finally use for the internet. Let's say Mayo Clinic inflammatory bowel disease that causes inflammation, ulcers digestive track, innermost lining of your large intestines. Also, here's medical news. today.com is ulcerative colitis and autoimmune disease. Ulcerative colitis is an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks healthy tissue in the gut. So not not surprising, maybe? Are they giving you simple things? Like are you taking what is the word I'm looking for? God, I'm bad with words today. It's perfect for a podcast match.

Max 1:07:28
Mabel to you know, pronounce some words earlier, but you helped me out.

Scott Benner 1:07:31
Probiotic. Probiotics was the word I was searching for that I couldn't find. Are they giving you like simple things like that to try to calm your stomach?

Max 1:07:39
No, actually, the first time I like went in to be seen for it, you know, like in the, like, er, they had actually prescribed me like some in some antibiotics, I think and like some steroids, but I was like, because of that, you know, like it was so I mean, it affects my diabetes anyway, just seemed like the stomach issues. But then like, the medication was also affecting it. And then the second time when I went in there, like, oh, they shouldn't even have given you that medication in the first place. So you just made you worse. And I was like, Oh, great.

Scott Benner 1:08:12
Yeah. The antibiotics made it worse. Yeah, cuz that kind of kills your gut bacteria. And yeah, I wonder if maybe, maybe if you shouldn't ask them about a good like a quality probiotic not like just something you could buy over the counter or even if you couldn't incorporate, you know, foods that would help. Gosh, like yogurt with stuff in there, Kim Chi things like that.

Max 1:08:41
Yeah, well, I mean, like, also, like, the difficult thing is, you know, just like with my EPI, you know, it's like I kind of should be eating like certain things and avoiding a lot of other things. mess me up to a lot. And so I was like, I really want to see a nutritionist. But it was like, we need to try to get like this manager like figure out what it is like, first because if I try to see nutritionist now, it's like, Oh, I know I have type one. I know I have epi and you see what it's like, do I have Crohn's or not? And then also like what's my activity level now? It's like everything's affecting each other and they like wouldn't even be able to give me like, like a meal plan to like base like my day off of their likes so much. It's just like out of whack right now. Like we have to wait until here I guess, like more stable to make up some kind of thing for you. And I was like, Well, that makes no that makes perfect sense. And I got to a point where I was just here I was like, just just give me a feeding tube. I was like, I know how to do it like all over you know, it was on 24/7 feeds for the longest time.

Scott Benner 1:09:57
I'm ready to give up on food. It's okay. He

Max 1:10:00
got to that point where I was like, or give me like a, like a philosophy bag. So I'm playing like I was I was just done, completely done. Because it was literally was and it sounds really gross, but it was literally, like, a couple times a week like I was I was showing myself and I was like, I'm in like awful pain, like I am crying. You know, I'm scared to eat. I was scared to eat a as I was like, No, I was like, I don't know, if it's gonna, like make my stomach worse. If it does, like I was gonna be I'm gonna be out for the day. You know? So yeah, I was like, so fed up. And also just give me just give me some feeds. And I was like, we can probably just, oh, put me on, like a certain dose of long acting. And you know, you could just call it good. Like, my, my blood sugar will be perfect. I

Scott Benner 1:10:56
feel like there's somebody on the on the Facebook page for the podcast, who is going through a diagnosis right now that is similar to epi. I think her pancreas is not producing sufficient enzymes. Is that part of it? Yeah, that's, that's it, right? Yeah. So you know, when you get off, I can tell you her name. If you can, you can go find her posts and see if you can maybe chat with her. She maybe could help. Or maybe you guys could commiserate a little bit or something. You know, I mean, it can't hurt to learn what other people are learning to because then you've got the benefit of their doctor's appointment and your doctor's appointment. You can kind of make sense out of things a little easier sometimes. When you have more information like that, but I don't know it's up to you. I'm definitely very open to it. Yeah, I mean, I think any situation where you're not shitting yourself would be really optimal, right?

Max 1:11:55
Yeah. The ideal would be ideal. Oh, my God. Oh, he's actually at one of my last appointments with, like, my diabetes team. I was talking to my doctor, and he was like, Well, I don't know, like, what it like could also be adding to it or like, it's a possibility. He's like, Have you ever heard of diabetic diarrhea? And I was like, What? What did

Scott Benner 1:12:22
you say? I've never heard of that whole long. What did he say that was?

Max 1:12:30
And he was like, yeah, like normally, like when your blood sugar sides, you get constipated. Like, it's hard. Poop usually was like, he was like, but this is like the opposite where it's like, it's kind of like, you know, like your neuropathy, where you're like, diabetes hasn't been managed, and it affects, you know, like your intestines, like your bowels and stuff. So then you're the opposite. They're not working as well. He was like, but most of the time you're like, after taking care of yourself for so long. Like, it could get better. And he's like, yeah, it could just be like, chronic diarrhea, diabetic diarrhea.

Scott Benner 1:13:08
We don't know. We don't want that. Also, I never want anybody to say that on the podcast again. But I am going to ask you, I do have to go. I do want to ask you, like, do you have fewer symptoms and problems when your blood sugars are more stable and lower?

Max 1:13:28
Yes. So it's constant. Unless, you know, I'm not taking my enzymes.

Scott Benner 1:13:33
Okay. So but but I mean, what about just your blood sugars? Like, do you like where's your agency right now? You know,

Max 1:13:39
I don't

Scott Benner 1:13:42
What about does the libre let you know, like your last 90 days or anything like that?

Max 1:13:47
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, it's, it's up there right now. I was just looking at it earlier. And it was in the three hundreds, as I said, like, we're still like, trying to get this like, whatever stomach issue bowel issues, all the issues, kind of like figured out. And it's been really difficult. Especially, like, with, like, I feel like also like my activity level. It's like, either I'll be like, you know, like dropping insanely fast or, you know, like, I'll try to correct it and then I'll be like, Hi, or

Scott Benner 1:14:24
are you using a pump?

Max 1:14:27
No, so I'm actually working towards getting one right now. We're trying to get like the t shirt, like a closed loop like T slim.

Scott Benner 1:14:36
Yeah, that'd be a big deal, I think for you.

Max 1:14:40
Yeah, so probably like within like the next month, I think actually, I'll I'll be able to finally get one

Scott Benner 1:14:48
right now. I think. I mean, listen, I think it's kind of step one is to get your blood sugar low, lower and stable. And, and see if it doesn't help you with some of these things. At the very least, or less than some of the The impacts the some of the problems, especially with the, with the neuropathy, like I, I, you know, it's you kind of can't turn back time, but I've heard people say that they've seen their problems slow down or stop the progression when they get their stuff together.

Max 1:15:16
Oh, yeah. Like, when I was younger, I actually had, like the early stages of retinopathy in my right eye. And I was actually able to reverse

Scott Benner 1:15:27
that. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Okay. All right. Well, I hope you get the I hope they set you up with an algorithm like some sort of a closed loop system. I mean, on the pod five just came out. The control IQ would be great. Like, yeah, whatever they can get you would be amazing. You think you could stay focused on using it? Yeah, excellent. Oh, yeah. Good, good. Good. All right. Well, Max, I'm sorry. I called you, Maddie for 45 minutes, but I really did appreciate you coming back on. Did you have fun? Yeah. Oh, now you're breaking up again. So much. Sorry. I couldn't hear anything. That's okay. Say it again. What did you say?

Max 1:16:10
I said, Yes. So much fun.

Scott Benner 1:16:13
Wouldn't it be funny if you said no. And I made you repeat it and you're like, No, it was not good. Oh, my gosh, no, I would never do that. If you if somebody came on here was like, I hate your podcast. I'd be like, Oh, cool. Tell me about that. I don't care. Whatever you think is fine with me. Whatever you think is fine. Anyway, all right. Well, thank you very much for doing this. Can you hold on one second for me? Yeah, thanks. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors. G voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox you spell that GVOKEGLUC AG o n.com. Forward slash juice box. Get your diabetes supplies from us med U S med.com. Forward slash juice box for call 888-721-1514. Get your free benefits check today from us med a company who has served over 1 million people living with diabetes since 1996. Get a blood glucose meter that you deserve an accurate one one that is easy to use and hold and carry. Get the Contour Next One blood glucose meter at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.