#1532 Couch Potato Summer
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Zuzka tackles a lethargic “couch-potato” summer, guiding her 14-year-old son’s diabetes and motivation.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
Zuzka 0:15
Hi, my name is zuska, and I'm a mom of type one diabetic. If
Scott Benner 0:23
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Zuzka 2:00
Hi. My name is zuska, and I'm a mom of type one diabetic zuska.
Scott Benner 2:07
That's how I say it. Yes, that's how you say it, because it sounds like it has a lot of S's, but when I look at it, it doesn't have any.
Zuzka 2:14
It doesn't it's because z is in front of k. So in my language, the Z pronunciation changes to us. No kidding. What language is that? It's Slovakia. So, like my legal name is Susanna, but people did like me, call me zuska. So I just introduced myself as zuska in United States, and that's what I go by. Awesome,
Scott Benner 2:38
awesome. Well, zoo Scott, it's nice to meet you, although Nice to meet you. Thank you. I got the feeling when we started talking before we recorded, that you must listen to the podcast because you You paused in the middle of the sentence and said, What did you say? It's so strange.
Zuzka 2:51
Yes, because I it felt like I'm listening to podcasts, not like talking to you in a real person, you know, in real time. Because I was like, I should just be quiet and just keep on listening. That'd be an awesome,
Scott Benner 3:03
uh, escalation of the technology. If you could just pick a podcast and it would talk directly to you. That'd be that'd be pretty great. Yeah, yeah, I'll work on that. And you said you have a child who has type one? Yes, I have a son. How old is he? He is 1414. How old was he when he was diagnosed? He was a little after his eighth birthday. Okay, so it's been a while, Six years. Six
Zuzka 3:26
years. We just celebrated February 25 Oh, wow. Other children. I have other daughter, and she has no autoimmune diseases as of right now, knocking on the wood.
Scott Benner 3:38
I'll knock on it with you. Don't worry. Your son has anything besides type one, or is that? That it?
Zuzka 3:43
About a year ago, he got diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Okay, how's that going? I think it's fine. We got the numbers down. I insisted on testing every year because of the podcast, because they were going to do it only every two years, and that's how we found out.
Scott Benner 4:02
So as he's growing, you'll be able to keep an eye on medication adjustments. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a good idea. What were his symptoms? How did you realize he had thyroid issues?
Zuzka 4:11
Now, looking back, he was just like a couch potato all summer. And I'm like, it's like, is that him turning into teenager? Like, why he's just laying around all the time, like, not wanting to do anything, yeah. And then we got him tested. And whatever that test was, it was 13.
Scott Benner 4:28
Oh, gosh, yeah, no, that's a that's pretty significant, yeah. So, like,
Zuzka 4:33
the end, I was like, we're not, like, waiting for a mail order. You need to go to the pharmacy right now and get it and get his double dose and get him going.
Scott Benner 4:41
Good, good. That's Oh, so you have a good Endo, it sounds like I believe I do. Yeah, that sounds like it, and
Zuzka 4:47
she also does. Now, when I have from podcasts, she pretty much does what I ask her to do. So that's
Scott Benner 4:53
helpful. You dropped out for a second. But when you come with information from the podcast, she just accepts it. Yes, oh. Right? I'm finally getting a little bit of respect.
Zuzka 5:02
Yeah, I like, you know, I learned stuff and I'm thinking, and that's why I, like, insisted on the, you know, Tiger testing and all of that, and she's all good, and she always gives us praises, but because I know how much better we can be based on a podcast, I'm like, never happy. Where
Scott Benner 5:20
are you at now that you're that you're good, but not happy?
Zuzka 5:23
So we have been with a one to six and under, but we're learning more independence. So his last one was 6.4
Scott Benner 5:32
Yeah. I mean, Arden's, you know, in college and and we're constantly, you know, giving away more and more focus. I wouldn't say that we have a lot to do with her diabetes most days. And she's not rocking a five, seven or anything like that, you know, like so it's, um, I mean, the truth is, is that if I just took her stuff from her, which is not a thing I would do, but if I just took all of her stuff from her, I'd have her a 1c back, like that in a week, and yeah, she's still just figuring the whole thing out, and that's a big part of it, really. You know, being able to have the tools and understand the job is one thing, but then how to blend that job into your life is a different thing. So yeah, and
Zuzka 6:13
I think that's what kind of, I mean, we probably got into, like, how he got diagnosed and stuff, but like, that's our biggest struggle right now.
Scott Benner 6:22
No, I would imagine his age, and he's had it for a while. He's probably sick of it by now, too. Oh yeah, he's in a burnout. Tell me about his diagnosis. What were your first signs? Thinker?
Zuzka 6:32
So I was like, thinking how I'm gonna say this. And because you always ask, like, were you surprised, you know? And I mean, generally speaking, I was surprised. But when we were like, in the middle of it, I was telling the doctor he has diabetes, he had a cold, just like everybody else, and then he was just acting strange. He's starting to wet his bed, you know, and drinking a lot. And then I remember one time he came out of the shower, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can see a ribs. Like, that's weird. And then I was talking to my friends, like, Hey, have the kids, you know, lost weight. And they're like, Yeah, but like, you know, we go forever annual once a year, so you don't really know how much they lost. Like, it can go up and down as they go through the growth spurts. One of the significant was like, one time he woke up in the morning and he ran from his bed by this thing, and he's like, my heart is beating so fast, so fast. I need to drink. I need to drink. I need to drink. I'm like, something's wrong with my kid. And I took him to the clinic here they check his blood sugar. It was 92 and at that point, I was calling for about a month. I think I would call my pediatrician, like, twice a week, like something's wrong with my kid, like something is like, I know something is wrong. And I even said, like, I think he has diabetes. And she's like, there's no way he has diabetes because of that 92 blood sugar, right at that one time, you know, I was like, then at this point, I was like, well, let's just hope he is UTI. Let's just hope that's it. I went to the clinic. I remember, I picked him up from school, and I said, Well, we'll be right back. It's just like 10 minutes appointment. They finger prick him, and the reader said, too high to read. Wow. And I I look at that lady that was doing it, and I'm like, what that means? And she's like, well, I might be broken. Let's just see. Let's do it one more time. And he did it again. At that point, she walked out of the room. She's like, I just have to check on something. And then the doctor came in and she asked, So do you have any history of diabetes in your family?
Scott Benner 8:41
Yeah, through everyone's stories, the I just have to go check on something. Means I have to go tell the doctor your kid has diabetes.
Zuzka 8:48
Yeah, yeah. I feel like so I live on the island by water from the mainland, so we had to take ferry, and there was no ferry going to the mainland at its that point, and my husband is captain. So I just remember they're like, telling us, telling me, like, Okay, you have to go to the ER, you cannot go to urgent care. They will be waiting for you. We call the Children's Hospital, Go call your husband. And I remember calling my husband and saying, What are you doing? And it's like, well, parking the boat like the big ferry. And I said, Wow, we have to go back on it. You have to run an extra trip, yeah?
Scott Benner 9:26
Keep it running. We're gonna keep it. Keep it running, just for us, though. Nice private tour. Yeah, yes,
Zuzka 9:31
yes. So we did that. I remember the other ferry captain is like, Hey buddy, do you want a cookie? So he had one last cookie before insulin on the ferry ride. And it took us, I mean, maybe four, five hours to get to the ER, because it's, you know, it's like to get to the ferry, we had to get, grab our stuff. Then it's 30 minutes ride, and it's another hour at least, you know, all of that. It was quite a while before we got to, er, this is
Scott Benner 9:58
good. We're gonna have to take a. Side, a little left turn here for a second. So where are you right now? Where do you live? I
Zuzka 10:03
live on Washington Island. Oh
Scott Benner 10:07
so you're up in the northwest, yes.
Zuzka 10:10
Oh so, I don't know if you remember one time I posted on Facebook a picture of a house on the ferry. Yes, that's my house that came across water. Yes, we do all the ice fishing that you hate. You know that, like no people more dear than people, that's us. That's me.
Scott Benner 10:28
I don't hate it, I just think it sounds very frightening and sign of silly. That's all only because it's not warm. I know, yeah. Oh, that's so interesting, because at one point you just said, my husband's the captain. I was like, Is that, like, a weird, like relationship thing, or is that his job? I wonder. We're equal
Zuzka 10:46
partners in this relationship. Very captain. He's
Scott Benner 10:50
a furry captain. He's not the captain of you. I got
Zuzka 10:52
it absolutely not. Do
Scott Benner 10:55
you ever talk to your son about that? Does he remember that whole thing? Or was he kind of out of it at that point. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the mini med 780 G system. The mini med 780 G automated insulin delivery system anticipates, adjusts and corrects every five minutes. Real world results show people achieving up to 80% time and range with recommended settings without increasing lows. But of course, Individual results may vary. The 780 G works around the clock, so you can focus on what matters. Have you heard about Medtronic extended infusion set? It's the first and only infusion set labeled for up to a seven day wear. This feature is repeatedly asked for and Medtronic has delivered. 97% of people using the 780 G reported that they could manage their diabetes without major disruptions of sleep. They felt more free to eat what they wanted, and they felt less stress with fewer alarms and alerts you can't beat that learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes by visiting Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox Today's episode is sponsored by a long term CGM. It's going to help you to stay on top of your glucose readings the ever since 365 I'm talking, of course, about the world's first and only CGM that lasts for one year, one year, one CGM. Are you tired of those other CGM, the ones that give you all those problems that you didn't expect, knocking them off, false alerts not lasting as long as they're supposed to. If you're tired of those constant frustrations, use my link ever since cgm.com/juicebox to learn more about the ever since 365 some of you may be able to experience the ever since 365 for as low as $199 for a full year at my link, you'll find those details and can learn about eligibility ever since cgm.com/juicebox
Zuzka 13:01
check it out. I don't think he remembers much. I remember just because it's very small ERD that we went to, like, literally every, every time the doctor came to our room, he said, I'm waiting for the Children's Hospital. I'm waiting for a phone call. I called the children's hospital like he wasn't doing anything on his own. And I just remember like, seeing him so skinny there. But my son likes the attention. So I think at that point he wasn't looking at it at something like horrific. He likes all the attention. Yeah, he's over that now, but at that point, you know, he wasn't like, upset or anything I
Scott Benner 13:41
got you I'm so glad that you live where you live, because I didn't want to. I'm sitting here, like, testing my geography in my head, and I'm thinking, I think Slovakia is landlocked. I'm like, What is she talking about? And
Zuzka 13:53
not anymore, you know,
Scott Benner 13:56
like, I don't think that's an island. And I started thinking, like, do I have to check like, I don't want to check myself. I'm pretty sure that's right.
Zuzka 14:02
No, I live United States, exactly. I was born in Czechoslovakia, which is now Slovakia. Yeah,
Scott Benner 14:07
it's actually, did it split into two? Is it like, Yep, it's like, chechia and Slovakia. Now, is that how it works?
Zuzka 14:14
Czech Republic and Slovakia? Czech Republic, okay, all right, split in peace. Gotcha.
Scott Benner 14:19
I've had a surprising number of people on this podcast from that part of the world. It's really interesting. How did you, how did you find the podcast? Then,
Zuzka 14:26
when he was diagnosed, I just needed a break from life, so I started to take walks every day. Like I would just tell my husband, like when he was diagnosed, it was, it was so hard. Like we would take, we would take turns who's going to the garage and cry, because you have to keep it together for the kids. And I just needed a break. So I like, I would go and just walk up and down the road, and I, you know, I would just like, look for you. Diabetes podcast, something to listen to and learn from. And I kept going back to you, because it's most conversational, and it's not just about the knowledge about diabetes. For me, a lot of it is just being within people that are going through the same thing? Yeah, no, well,
Scott Benner 15:22
I'm glad, I'm glad you found it. I know there are plenty of people who like the like the small sips or the bold beginning stuff, and I like making it, but at the same time, like, I really don't think the podcast would have endured if it was just all that. No, I just think it needs to be, you know, conversational is a nice way to put it, but it needs to be entertaining too, to some degree, you know, like, or why would you why would you flip it back on again? And
Zuzka 15:44
you don't want to feel alone, like I feel as a parents or diabetes, like you feel so alone because people just don't understand. Yeah, no, I know. So hearing someone going through the same thing and and coming on the other side better. It just so helpful. Yeah, it's just so helpful. Well, you've been
Scott Benner 16:03
listening for six years. Can I ask a question, then, because you're a great person to ask this up. Is it helpful too, that it's more light hearted, that it's not so, like, even when we're having conversations, it's not super serious and sad 100%
Zuzka 16:16
I just don't want to, like, listen to your podcast every day and cry, you know, I I want I have to keep on living my son has to keep on living my husband like we all have to keep on living, yeah, so it like I wouldn't listen to it if it's a Debbie Downer, no, I agree all the time. Okay, that's good. I remember when I joined the Facebook, I think it has 4000 people. Oh, yeah, I got it. Like, I remember you like making a big deal, like, we have 4000 members. And I don't know how many 1000 you have right now. 59,000
Scott Benner 16:50
this morning. There you go. Yeah, you know, it's funny. It got to a point where I like making posts that are, like, celebratory, you know. And my wife says to me one time she goes, I don't know if this feels celebratory anymore, if it feels like you're rubbing it into somebody. And I was like, What are you talking I'm like, What are you talking about? She's like, you were just like, we have 50,000 she's like, you know, I think we all get it. It's growing. And I thought, Oh, that's not how I think about I just think of it as, like, look, it's, you know, it's getting bigger, and there's more people here. We're helping more people. And she goes, Yeah, I might cut back on the celebratory post. Maybe she goes, maybe just every 10,000 at this point. I was like, you
Zuzka 17:24
know, she always keeps you in check, but I think that's something you should be proud of. It's more of us in this community connected, you know, before you know, the Facebook and all the social media, we weren't that connected. Like, I don't know, in person, any other mom that I can, like, talk to on daily basis, Yeah, no kidding, the more people you connect, the better for us. Yeah, who are in it? I
Scott Benner 17:52
agree. And also, some people come and go. I'm honored that you've listened for six years. But I don't think everybody does that like I think at some point people are like, Okay, I feel comfortable now, and we know how to do it. And you know, I'm gonna go do something else, which I understand, although I do see a lot of people come back and they'll say, I knew what I was doing. It was going great, but I got unfocused, and now I'm back again, listening, and my a 1c is coming back down. My variability is getting better. There's something about being connected to it. I think that helps people
Zuzka 18:21
as well. Yeah, yeah. Well, and like, when, when my son goes to college, I will go and listen to the episode about getting ready for college that you just
Scott Benner 18:30
right, yeah. Oh, that little series, that was good series. Even like adding more people, it's funny because there's a, there's a small subsection of people online who get mad if somebody asks a question that's been asked already, but I genuinely believe that that's the part of the goal of the group is to be there when someone asks, you know, a day one or a first year question that you've maybe heard asked 15 times, but you and you know the answer to that's perfect, because you know the answer, Like, you know, we just need a couple people. Or
Zuzka 19:03
maybe I needed a reminder. Yeah, maybe I knew it right, and I just put it on a back burner, yeah? And now I need to be reminded again. Yep, no,
Scott Benner 19:12
it's very valuable. I can't believe that I was able to keep it like, the vibe in there the same as it grew. That's the thing. I can't believe that that we accomplished. It's, it's, it's usually those groups get too big, and they get unwielding, and you kind of lose control of them, and then they just burn themselves out. But this is just continuing to go so, very, very cool.
Zuzka 19:31
There are people diagnosed every day, yeah? So every day you have those people desperate for community and information. Yeah, no,
Scott Benner 19:39
I agree. He's diagnosed. I'd like to hear a little bit about how you started off with management. Is, was it pens? They give you a pump? Do you have a CGM? How did all that work?
Zuzka 19:48
So after the ER, we've been in the ER for like, four hours or something, and then the doctor goes, like, so we have a 730 appointment in a two. Children's Hospitals, so now you can go to the hotel. So they just let us go sleep in a hotel, and then we have, like, the full day education, and we were on pens, Lantis and Humalog, silly advice. I remember giving my son a shot, and I did such a bad job that he started to trading on his own because I did such a bad job. It's like, I'm doing this on my own. I'm not letting you do that again.
Scott Benner 20:31
Is that a hack? You just really mess up the one time? And the kid's like, I'll do it, never mind,
Zuzka 20:36
take it as you will. But like, I remember it was like, I didn't know better. And it was, like, almost, like I stabbed him, like, if I had knife in my hand and I
Scott Benner 20:46
stabbed him with the pen, yeah, you really I, like, lunged, yes, like,
Zuzka 20:50
they didn't give me orange before to practice.
Scott Benner 20:54
I think I've made every mistake in the books. Like, doing it, like, I've gone on on the wrong angle, I've gone too slow, you know, like, there's a lot I don't know. I'm glad we don't do many of them, to be perfectly honest.
Zuzka 21:08
So we did that, and I think in about whenever next and the appointment. So in three months, I was on the phone with Dexcom, and then we got Dexcom.
Scott Benner 21:19
Yeah, it's important to go quickly. Made a big difference, I imagine, yes, yeah, you didn't manage for long without it, I guess, yes, yeah, but,
Zuzka 21:28
but, you know, two sides of a coin, it's like, it's great that you have Dexcom and you don't have the finger prick, but then you have this unbelievable amount of data that you can obsess about, you know, having all this I'm definitely glad I don't want to live without Dexcom. Did
Scott Benner 21:47
you get past that feeling? You still feel overwhelmed? I
Zuzka 21:51
don't know. I just heard my accent so bad and I said that. I just don't know the balance between, like, keeping his physical health good, or his mental health and our relationship, you know, like, I don't want to, and I'm trying really hard not to react to every number you know, or when he's high, like, oh, trust Him that He gave himself insulin and let it sit there for A minute, because it takes a minute to start going down, or Dexcom to catch on. So real learning six years in,
Scott Benner 22:28
still learning. You know, it's funny, I think a lot about how to communicate that to people, and I think so far through conversations the best way, because I don't know a way to sit down and say those things. You have to wait. Sometimes you have to see what's going to happen. You can't overreact. Like, it's easy to say, but like, the feeling while you're in it is difficult to ignore,
Zuzka 22:49
yeah, because if it doesn't start going down, they're like, Oh crap. Doodles, I just, you know, wasted 20 minutes. He could have insulin in him. Yeah, no.
Scott Benner 22:58
And then you have that feeling, especially at nighttime, when you're like, I'd like to go to sleep at some point. Or, you know, we're trying to go outside and do something, or like you're trying to get to that number for a real reason. Does it still feel like, Oh, he's being hurt, health wise, by this, or is it more about like not having to manage it? Like, what are you trying to escape? When you're trying to escape
Zuzka 23:19
that number? I am trying to escape bad numbers being his normal. Like, you know how that, like, slowly that, like, oh, 150 is okay, one eight is okay. Two is 200 is okay, and then it's your normal. I'm trying to escape that, but we are trying to teach him independence, and I'm trying to let go, and I'm trying to have a good relationship with him, and I'm trying him not to develop a bad relationship with food. Yeah, there's like, so many things to think it about. And I wish there was, like, if you do a, then it's B, you know, but there's just that and like you just never know. It's like 1000 decision, yeah, every day I
Scott Benner 24:07
have to tell you, I it's probably not very comforting for you, but I still feel exactly like that. Yeah, that's not comforting at all. Yeah. So those concerns and the desires I have, those exact ones, and I'd have to say that Arden's biggest impediment is, is the waiting. Like, she still waits to do things, and she's not yet seeing the value in like, if I do it now, it'll be less effort than doing it later.
Zuzka 24:37
Yeah, that part, there's so many times I told my son, like, if you just take the 10 he's an Omnipod if, well, if you just take 10 seconds to give yourself insulin, then we don't have to deal with it for three hours after, because it takes a minute if you get high. And he always, when he gets high, he knows that's bad, so then he crushes himself, and then he's too low. I always. Kind of like, you know, if you get high, you're gonna get low, yeah, because you're gonna crash it, because it's hard to catch it, the fast drop when you're super high, going low.
Scott Benner 25:08
Listen, Arden is 20, and I just recently told her, You got lower. She got too low to ignore at 4am right? And I said that happened because you didn't change the pod the day before, when I said, I think now's the time to change the pod. And she looked at me like crossways, you know, and and I said, you left on a site that wasn't working, and so you kept pushing a bunch of insulin through it, and it wasn't being effective, but that insulin was still going in there, and it was gonna, it was gonna catch up eventually. You know what I mean, like, it was gonna, your body was gonna use, and it happens overnight. And I said, if you just would have put a new pod on that pod would have been very effective. The number would have come down sooner, with less insulin, then there wouldn't have been all that insulin sitting around. And then you don't have this, like, late and low overnight. She finally got too low at four, but she was getting low throughout the night. Like you could see her just drifting down and down and down. And she's using trio, so she's got an algorithm going. And you know, that thing was trying to stop that drop for like four hours. It had taken her basal away at like midnight, and she just kept dropping steadily midnight, right till four o'clock, when it just, you know, it wouldn't, it wouldn't catch alarms obviously went off, and we were like, okay, took care of it. Like, it wasn't something, like, a big deal compared to that. But then we were awake and, like, she fell back asleep pretty quickly, but I stayed up for 15 more minutes to make sure, you know, and then that suddenly it's 430 and you're like, Oh, God, am I awake? And I said, anyway, all this is fixed. If 12 hours ago, we would have done something different, and you we wouldn't have had to go through all this. And there'll be people who are like, Oh, she's 20. She should know. Or like, I just still think that's young. The real meaning of it's just not, it's not getting to her yet. It will one day, like I've spoken to a number of people who, you know, who've grown up with diabetes, and you get to a certain age, and it's like everything else in life, you go, Oh, okay, I see this is important, but you got to stay healthy till you get to it.
Zuzka 27:08
So I have a question for you. So you told her you should change your path, right? And she didn't do it, yes, right? So then what? Like you just let you just let it go, like, tell me what I should do, and my son doesn't listen to me.
Scott Benner 27:25
That's my growth period, right there. Then I go, okay, she's 20. I told her, she understands why I've communicated it pretty well. She seems irritated. I don't think she's going to do it. Now, what am I going to do? Am I going to make myself crazy for the next 10 hours? Or are we just going to let this be the teaching moment that it is and it moves on? I'm comfortable with it being the teaching moment that it is, because for us, a bad outcome is a six, five, a, 1c if she was ignoring it and her a 1c was nine, I would probably treat it differently, but it's not killing her to have this learning experience, so I let her have it. I probably think of it exactly the same as if, I guess if I said to a kid like, Don't smoke weed, and they were like, I tried weed, I'd be like, Okay, I guess that's like, you know, but if it was like, Don't try heroin, and they're like, No, I'm going to I guess I'd step up and be like, Okay, well, I guess we found my line. Yeah, I think that whether it's diabetes or just regular life, no one learns by being told, actually, you told me you like the podcast because it's conversational. Like, right? Like, if I sat down and just hammered a bunch of ideas at you, you might be resistant to it. I think parenting is the same. Honestly, if you really listen closely to the podcast, I really just apply how I think about life to diabetes. That's all I'm doing, you know, so it's not killing her in the moment. So she's gonna be high, not feel as good as she could. Get low overnight, have that experience, and one day she's gonna, it's gonna happen, and she's gonna think, you know, I should just change that stupid pump. So,
Zuzka 29:05
you know, there was, there was so many times over last six years that I'm looking at Dexcom reading and I'm like, Oh, my God, he's about to have a seizure, you know? And that's like, crazy. I think I'm losing years of my life from the stress of it, and it's, you know for sure, it's not good for him either. So I, like, I don't know how far I can let that independence go at this point. I mean, he's still very young, although, like, let me try. You know, I can do it. I can do it. He makes mistakes, and sometimes they are big mistakes. Or his new thing is he he closes Dexcom app so I can't see his numbers. Oh, that's not okay, because he can see it on the Omnipod five app. Yeah, you know, and that it's just really. Hard and really not okay, right? And also like he's, so I told you, like he's, he's burned out, so every alarm, every pee, bothers him, yeah? So he just, like, he shuts it off so I don't have to listen to that. And he's like, I'm fine, Mom, I'm fine. I'm like, You're not fine. You're 39 Yeah?
Scott Benner 30:19
Okay, yeah, they think I'm fine. Covers every blood sugar and situation between just about to have a seizure and 500 I'm fine. Everything's fine. Yes, listen, I understand, like, psychologically, where it comes from. I would say this, like, if he wants to try to do it on his own, it's awesome, but he needs to know what the tools do. He can't say to you, look, I've got the whole toolbox here. Leave me alone. I know what to do, and then grab a wrench when he needs a hammer. You can't just ignorantly go forward not knowing what you're doing. If he has some ideas to try to enact, I would say, Look, you want to do it on your own. That's great. Here are the things you need to do, like these are the things. Go ahead and do them, but you don't just get to wildly guess about what to do and make yourself super low or, you know, and, and when it goes wrong, shutting off the Dexcom. So I doesn't, so I don't know. That's not an answer, no.
Zuzka 31:10
Well, and the other thing, if you super high or super low, you're not really your best self, right? How do I know you're making the right decision? Because he his personality changes, sure when he's high or when he's low, and
Scott Benner 31:24
that person's trying to make decisions that they already didn't understand. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Zuzka 31:29
I know it's very, very hard. People look at my son and he's very healthy, and the work that goes into it Sure, and don't see him when he's super high or super low, and how it affects him. You know, I think that sometimes people because he wasn't in coma, he wasn't in a hospital overnight, he never has a seizure. Knock on wood, people don't understand how bad and how quickly this can get. Yeah, they just think it's easy because you look okay, yes, yeah, because we look okay. And he has, you know, he has his Dexcom, and he has his bump, and I am so glad that nothing bad has happened, yeah, of course, you know. But then, because nothing bad has happened, people don't understand the seriousness of it. When you
Scott Benner 32:20
say people don't understand, do you think he's one of those people who doesn't understand, or you just mean outside people, I don't know if he wants to understand. I think that's a powerful insight, honestly, because I've had those feelings sometimes when you start to explain something to art and she goes, I don't want to know about this. It's not about, like, having a seizure or something. It's even just like, hey, what does this pill do? Or, Why am I doing this? Or, like, can you start explaining it? I think, I think there's part of her that's like, look, I don't want to understand why this is so important, because I'm going to realize I have to do it. You know what? I mean,
Zuzka 32:50
yeah, yeah. When he got diagnosed with hypothyroidism, that's what he said, is like, just another part of my body not working, yeah, you know? And that's sad. And I tried to tell him, like everybody has his burdens, like this is not going to go away. I almost feel like no one ever sat me down and said, zuska, your son has diabetes. It was like, Well, it kind of looks like it. And I almost feel like I'm still waiting for this big meltdown to let all these emotions out of me, but I'm realizing, because diabetes is not going away, that I just have to live with them at all times. Yeah, have
Scott Benner 33:32
you tried torturing the captain that might make you feel better
Zuzka 33:36
daily basis?
Scott Benner 33:37
Okay? Well, if that's not working, I don't know what to do. My wife seems to really excel at it. So I I like when you talk to other women when they're not involved in your life, they'll say things like, well, they know that they can say that to you, because you'll take it and you won't stop loving them. And I'm like, I don't that doesn't make me feel
Zuzka 33:59
better. Well, she's stick around for all these years, she's not gonna leave you now, you know, I don't
Scott Benner 34:04
know if we want to test that, but okay, well, yeah, no, I again, I think that was really, is really something you just said there about like you're not sure what he really wants to know. I think that's probably something people could really resonate with. You can't make it too real for me, because then, how do I shut my Dexcom alarm off when I can't take it anymore? You know? How do you escape an impossible situation when it's an impossible situation? Yeah,
Zuzka 34:31
I wish he would understand that if be if we are proactive, that we would spend so much less time on diabetes, and we would avoid so many like, bad feelings.
Scott Benner 34:44
Step out of diabetes for a second. Think about all of the things that you see going on in the world. Could we not say that about all of them? You don't even mean if people just put a little effort in now instead of later, they'd see or if they just didn't. Eat this instead of that, then this wouldn't have like the problem you're having, or that anyone's having. It's not diabetes specific. It's a human problem. If it wasn't diabetes and it didn't feel so omnipresent, and it didn't feel so important to living, you'd be having this issue with him about something different, because this is issues that people have,
Zuzka 35:24
if that makes sense. I mean, his biggest issue is the biggest issue, whatever that is for every kid. Yeah, you know, for every child, it's just, you know, if, if we can go back to this, like you being life coach on some of these episodes, like sometimes in the middle of the night, you know, like he's 181 90, and I'm thinking, shall I get up and give him insulin or not? You know, because then I, like, once I'm awake, it takes me an hour to fall back to sleep. Like I'm trying not to be the lazy mom, you know, take care of my kids, or if needed, like, wake him up, if something you know, needs to happen, and then I'm like, Well, if I wake him up in the middle of the night, he's not going to fall back to sleep, then he's going to have a bad day the next day, because he's going to be, you know, so tired. And I just don't know where the balance is again, because based of the knowledge that we have, you know, from Jenny and you you know, we can do so good. But if I push every little thing that I know, number one, it might not even working, work as well as I think, because I'm not him, you know. But number two, he would hate me because I'm just taking care of his diabetes, but I don't want our relationship to be just about diabetes, so sometimes I choose to let diabetes go because I don't want to get into another fight with him about diabetes, because our relationship has to be about more than just diabetes. Of
Scott Benner 37:07
course, yeah, I find myself often thinking there's something to be done here, but I don't want Arden to think I don't trust her, yeah, or I don't want her to feel like she doesn't know what she's doing, like I'd almost rather her have a less than perfect outcome, but feel good about it than me to step up and be like, Oh, that's awesome. But if we just did this, then this would be like, better. I try to avoid that, although I would say overnight, the other night, we were making adjustments to insulin. Didn't get them quite right. So overnight, she started rising the system. Couldn't get ahead of it, and I think when she got the 140 and still had, like, a diagonal up arrow, I it was, I mean, she was definitely asleep, I walked into her room and I made a Bolus and and went back to bed, because I think it was going to end. It was a very specific situation, and we had made an adjustment. I was like, Oh, this adjustment is not going to be right for overnight. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. Then it's two o'clock in the morning, and this thing's going to go 141 60, maybe level out at 180 and then the algorithm is going to fight with it for four hours. And then, you know, if she tries to sleep in in the morning past seven o'clock, then her new settings are going to come on. It's going to make her low. And like, I just was like, I'm just going to go Bolus this. So, I mean, I did that. I didn't tell her honestly. I don't know. You know how when, like, everybody else is watching television, and you're doing a load of laundry and you're like, I'm helping them, they don't care. Nobody appreciates this, like, but it really does need to get done. Like, I kind of looked at it that way. I guess
Zuzka 38:36
we trying to get him well, he wants his independence. Also. I don't like him having fun by him at night, because I don't know if he's just on it playing games, and he needs to sleep. So we've been going back and forth over last couple of months. I even get him a sugar pixel in his room, and then he just unplugs it because it wakes him up. So for now, we're trying to do like on the weekends, he can have his phone by him at night and take care of it. And on weeks like school night, it stays with me at night. But during the weekends, the rule is, if I have to come downstairs and take care of your diabetes, the phone goes back with me and it's with me for a week.
Scott Benner 39:24
Yeah, the phone's a tough one. I'll tell you it is. Yeah, because it is, it's not just a phone, obviously, almost the last thing it is is a phone. I tried to explain to you, like, I'd like you to hold your phone to your ear, and you're like, I don't know. I probably never do that. Even it's so much more, like, it's a, it's, obviously, it's a portal out into the world to everything, you know, and kids are probably not going to choose to do something really awesome with it, but they could, like, he could be watching a nature documentary. He could be watching that Daredevil show on Marvel right now is very good, like he, you know, he could listen. He's 14, you know, I'm saying he could be doing other stuff with it. It's. Tough, because you're not just leaving the controller to his insulin pump with him. You're leaving a portal to the world with him. Yeah, yeah. And they don't have the, listen, I'm 53 I barely have the wherewithal to put it down sometimes. Like, you know, how's he gonna do it? You
Zuzka 40:14
know, you always said, like, I hardly think about diabetes. That's true. I always tell people like, all I think about is diabetes, but I'm so sick of talking about diabetes, except this one hour with you, I'm very happy to I love the diabetes community around Juicebox, because they're like, people like me, and I struggle because sometimes I want to tell people, like, in the morning, like, oh my gosh, we had such a bad night. Like, I tell them sometimes, but I don't tell them all the time, but in a same time, I'm like, I don't want to tell them because I don't want them, like, not to have my son over for a play date or a sleepover, or if he's dating your daughter, you're going to be like, Well, don't date him, because, you know, he's so much work, yeah? Like, it's just,
Scott Benner 41:04
it's hard. No, I know. I know, yeah. Well, then use the group for that. Just go into the group and be like, I had a really bad night. I needed to tell somebody, and I don't feel comfortable saying it in my real life. So here it is, and you'll find 25 other people probably had a bad night too. They'll commiserate with you,
Zuzka 41:21
you know, oh for sure. Like, there's sometimes when people, and I did it too, like, you post at three in the morning, like, hey, blah, blah, blah, it's happening. Anybody out, you know, up and they're like, Oh yeah, me too. You know, it's not going great. I remember, for people around diabetes, like, not directly related. When my son got diagnosed, like I thought no one would ever have him for play dates, because it's like so much work and I would have to explain everything. And I remember one of my friends being like, Oh yeah, we'll totally have him over. And that was so meaningful to me, yeah, like, that meant award to me, because at that moment, I didn't know that that can happen. Like, you know, one CIGA diagnosed. Now it's normal. Now he goes, but, like, it was so hard first to be like, he's gonna go and be in a care of someone else. Will they be okay with it having, you know, kid with diabetes in their household, knowing the risk and are willing to do if something needs to happen. You know? Yeah,
Scott Benner 42:27
I'll tell you the thing that breaks my heart still and now that Arden is older, like, trust me, I had all the concerns when she was younger, because there was, by the way, there was a family who said, like, she can't stay here overnight. I've also had people like, one guy, one Father. He said, I got in the morning and came over to pick her up. And I said, How was it? He goes, Oh, it was perfect. Everything was great. I'm like, You look terrible. He goes, I wasn't able to sleep. He sat up all night worried about her bloodstream, but he still did it and invited her back. And what a good guy. Yeah, right. And I've had people say, like, I'm sorry. She just can't stay here. It's just people who were overwhelmed or not interested, or whatever they you know, just it's not fun for them, and so they don't want to whatever. But nowadays, as she's older, if I had, like, the equivalent of that horrible feeling, I think, is that, I mean, Arden does. She's on the internet, like, don't get me wrong, but she's not very, she's not super involved in this. So Arden is a really, really pretty girl, and she's a lovely person and smart, and, you know, she's a great personality. She's a really great package of, you know, of a person. And sometimes I'll hear her joke about things like, you know, like, oh, you know, she meets a boy or something. And like, it's something like, oh, we'll see, like, you know, how much of me he can take. But she doesn't mean her personality or she means, like, her troubles, you know, having to take a pill for this or that, or a shot, or, you know, insulin, that kind of thing. It's funny because I watch her navigated not differently than all the young women that I've that I've had interviewed, like, you know, in their teens and then their 20s and and even talking to married women who have type one like, I can see her like, naturally doing the things that I've heard other thoughtful, smart women do. Don't tell too much at first, but don't hide it, like all that stuff. She met a boy recently. She came home the other night. They were, you know, they watched, they were watching a movie. And she came home the other night, and he brought her back and dropped her off, but she told him, I have to go back now, like, I have to change one of my devices. And she didn't, like, tell him more, like she had to swap her Dexcom out. She didn't tell him more. She didn't say what it was, just, you know, I have a, like, one of my devices I have to change. She said. About an hour after he dropped her off, he texted her and asked, did that all go okay? Like he didn't know enough about it to ask, like, a pointed question, but he checked in with her, and that was a moment where I thought, like she told us about it. So I thought, Okay, that's good. This is a thing that happened that she's comfortable with. So, yeah. I try not to be heartbroken about it, because she seems like she's navigating it. Yeah, you know, it's different. She's a little older.
Zuzka 45:07
Can I ask you one more question about Arden? Yeah, of course. So I remember how old was Arden, when she went to Disneyland and you had like a nurse going with her? Do I remember it correctly
Scott Benner 45:19
High School, yeah, she was a senior in high school. They did a senior trip to Disney, and there was a nurse there for everybody. But this nurse reached, we were able to reach out to her and get her Oh, God, I'm making you're making me. Remember this. She came in one night to give Arden a juice in the hotel room, and Arden texted me and was like, This lady's like, shoving the juice on my face. I already had shoes. That was her senior year of high school.
Zuzka 45:45
Okay, so tell me, how did you get from if my daughter wants to go to Disneyland in her senior year, she needs a nurse to she's going to college, and there's no one. I mean, I know her roommates have Dexcom, like, my son wants to go on, like, overnight trips, and I'm like, Well, you can go because there has to be someone. So I will have to go with you, or your dad will have to go with you, because, you know, so how, how did that process? Because it's within a year, right from her senior year to her first year of college, yeah. So,
Scott Benner 46:20
I mean, I guess the first thing is, is that the school was providing a nurse for everybody. Okay, you know, so they were there. It's not like, I was like, you send a nurse, or my kid can't go. There was a nurse. So we utilized it.
Zuzka 46:30
So you, you wouldn't if that wasn't for the nurse, would you specifically ask for one? How would you deal with it?
Scott Benner 46:37
I would have found a different way. I think the answer to your question is, is that you have two choices? You can stand still or move forward, and you can only move forward with the spaces that are provided. So when we have to move forward, I look around me for my resources and I make the best of what I have, but we're not going to stop moving forward. Does that make sense? Tell me more. No, listen, if you're trying to send your 14 year old away for a week without somebody there, I understand you not wanting to be on him. I understand you saying, look, at this point, buddy, you don't know what you're doing well enough to avoid lows. You get low sometimes, and it's in the middle of the night. This is not a this is a safety issue. It has nothing to do with our trust for you or whatever, we're just not at that point yet. But if he was 17, and he could take care of it, and you could, you know, look in the face three guys that were going to be in a room with him and say, Listen to me, you guys are going to be gone for four days. No one lets him die, you understand? And here are the things we're going to do. Then I would say, between that, and then, you know, having find my iPhones, you could, like, send a, like, a loud noise to wake somebody up. I used that a couple of times in Arden's freshman year of college. I just looked around me for what was available, and I MacGyvered it into that. Is that a reference? People are gonna know shoot? Probably I won't. MacGyver was a television show in the 80s. Oh, I know. MacGyver. Okay, we're a guy took for everything, or make it two out of everything he could make something out of anything, right? So, like, you know, like, so she's going to college, or not, not letting her go to college. This is this new situation. You're going to get roommates, but you don't know who they are. They can be drunk, high, or, you know, checked out, or in a, you know, in a boys room overnight, they might not even be there. So you just look around for what's around you, and you adapt it to the situation and put yourself in the safest and, you know, make sure there's redundancies. It's not just like, Oh, I'll do this if she gets low and there's no second step. Like, you had different steps. And there are nights that you'll, like, sit in your bed and think you're gonna have a heart attack while you're waiting for somebody to answer, and then you just come to realize that if that doesn't work, then you're gonna call 911, and then there's another system in place and another system in place, and hopefully it's enough. But the alternative is, is that that kid lives in your house the rest of his life and has a really weird life, and you don't want that either.
Zuzka 48:59
Yeah, that's not allowed, yeah, so we just tried it for the first time. Well, so number one, we are in a different situation, because, again, we are separated by water. Even at two o'clock in the morning, I can just go and drive somewhere three hours, right, if he needs me. So we tried it for the first time. Me and my husband went off the island and we let him stay at home. We had his cousin, thank goodness, stay with him. And of course, he got too high, then he got too low, then he got annoyed by alarms, so he shut off his Dexcom app. Yeah, so me and my husband in a hotel, and three in the morning we're like, what we do, what we do? Like, do we wake up this cousin, and then at some point we did have to call the cousin and said, I'm she because she was in a house, because we needed a secondary phone, you know, say another person there, and she had to go find him. Of course, he was funny, like, I had Juicebox. I'm like, why couldn't juice answer the phone call, text me. Back something. So I'm not here sitting on the bed with my husband for two hours, like, is he having a seizure, and no one's around him.
Scott Benner 50:07
I'm fine. Well, that's nice. Well, me and the captain just had a stroke, so, and I didn't mean that like that, yeah, calling my husband a captain. Well, you called him that. I mean now to me, he's the captain. You're Tenille. We're moving along. I
Zuzka 50:20
am very proud of him, as long as we know that he's not captain of my life. Yeah, no, I
Scott Benner 50:26
understand, yeah. Out in the world, he's a respected man in your home. He's an idiot. I got it. Don't worry. I know it's gone. Okay,
Zuzka 50:33
my son is 14. By the time he's 17, he will grow immature. I will grow immature as a family. We will grow immature, and we will be able to go through this process to let him go to
Scott Benner 50:47
college. Yeah. I mean, you're probably going to need some weed too, because you're not going to calm down. I don't think this guy, it sounds to me like you've got a lot of that mom thing in you. It's not good. Well, I love him. No, I know. I know. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean, like, loving him and being worried is bad. I mean, like, the the anxiety piece is tough, the overbearing, yeah, it's terrible. Like, it's, I don't know, like, what nature did. I mean, I guess, honestly, I look at boys and I look at girls, and if nature making me feel horrible, well, no, if nature didn't do this to you, ladies, we'd all be dead already, because guys, because your son's an example. Guys would be like, It's fine. Don't worry about it. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Right into a volcano. Look at every story a guy tells you, I was a mess. I was doing this, I was doing that. You know, I met this girl. She got me straight. It's how it works. I don't know if anybody's
Zuzka 51:37
paying attention. That was the best thing that happened to her. No,
Scott Benner 51:41
no, yeah, I would have died in a road rage incident years ago if I hadn't met Kelly or something like that. But at the same time, like whatever that switch is, it's unfair to you guys that it doesn't have a dimmer because whether it's a baby six months old choking on a little bit of formula, or a 25 year old out on a date. You guys have the same level of, oh my god. Everything's going wrong. We're all gonna die. I have to stop it. I know that the best I've come up with is to say, hey, you should calm down. But I don't think that works. Really. That doesn't work very well. So I don't, I don't do that anymore.
Zuzka 52:19
It's like, no, don't make me calm down. You come up on my level of anxiety. Join me. I was just
Scott Benner 52:25
kidding. Any man who says calm down out loud is gonna lose his testicles. I don't think it's a good idea at all. Obviously, you don't just tell a person who's upset to calm down. But like, what I'm saying is, is that, from my perspective, I'm not having the same response. I don't even know how to interact with her when she feels that way, because I'm like, This is not what I'm doing, and it's not even this. Wouldn't even occur to me to do this, but I think I've learned over the years, it's not occurring to her to do it. It's just happening to her, like she just gets jacked up like that. That alarm goes off overnight. My wife gets a cortisol spike. She wakes right up. She's she's ready to fight a war, and I'm like, Hey, our blood sugar just dipped under 70. Calm down, like it's okay. I don't know what you do. I mean, I think for your sanity, I think you should probably keep working on giving him better a better idea of how those tools work, because when he can make more measured decisions, he's going to have better outcomes, and you're not going to be put in that situation as frequently, which isn't going to put him in dangerous situations. I almost feel like that's the conversation. Like, I know you want to be more in control. I want that for you as well. At the moment, you know, sometimes we're doing really great, and sometimes we're not. I think there's just a few more things you need to learn once you have those things, those tools in your tool belt, like, I think you're going to be great at this. I'm excited for you to go out and live your life and spend the night somewhere without, you know, without me and dad and but we got to get you to that point wishing it isn't going to make it true. We're going to have to do a little bit of work here to
Zuzka 53:56
get to it. Yeah, I was a really bound after that one night. I told them, I'm like, what a wasted opportunity. Like you fought for this opportunity to be left overnight, and you completely wasted it, you know, like there's so little that you could have done just answer your phone. Okay, I have one last
Scott Benner 54:15
let me just say this though, maybe a little less Eastern block in that response there. You know what I mean, just a little less, you're like, back home, we'd throw you out in the snow, and if you didn't die, then you were okay.
Zuzka 54:31
All right, one more question, because I know you're gonna be like, Oh, we had the hour we're done. Hey,
Scott Benner 54:35
by the way, I want to say that's Rob's fault
Zuzka 54:40
and all the money he's charging you, I know. No,
Scott Benner 54:42
no, listen, he's very, he's a very, an awesome editor, and he's a very fair person. When it was just me editing, I just like, I would talk forever, and I'd be like, whatever. Like, if people want to listen to for 90 minutes, they can listen for 90 if they shut off an hour. Like, I don't care. But I do pay somebody by how they edit now, and I am much more kind. Magnus and elvit. So like, if you like that the episodes are a little shorter now, then you can thank Rob, and if you wish they were longer, it's Rob's fault, wrong way recording.com. If you're looking for an editor. But go ahead. What's your question?
Zuzka 55:12
Okay, one more question. So what is she now 22 No,
Scott Benner 55:16
she's 20. She'll be 21 this summer. 20. Okay. Never
Zuzka 55:19
mind. Is she starting to see how much you have been doing for her in life, or she's still like, like, no, like, that's automatic. There might like, is there a way that San will see that someone like, oh my gosh, she my mom was a nudge, like she was just caring, trying hard.
Scott Benner 55:38
Oh, I see. Okay, legacy. We're worried about your legacy here. Okay, of course, I would say that Arden's in the spot now where she still believes that I have unnecessarily put too much effort into her. I don't think she's gonna get to the part you're talking about till mid to late 20s, and I base that on other conversations I've had with people in their mid to late 20s. I don't think this has anything to do with Arden and I or this situation. I really do think it just has to do again, with like, people and how our brains work. And I think that it's, it's interesting and and I understand people who would say like, oh, you know that person's 20 they're 22 they should know. But there's really great research that says your brain is still forming into your mid 20s. There's great research that says that young people benefit greatly by help with their diabetes up until like, 25 years old, like help from their parents. So that's very beneficial. When I go back and interview people who are older, who fought their parents tooth and nail through that time. They'll tell you when they're 2728 29 and 30. I wish I wouldn't have given my parents so much hassle. I wish I would have listened more. I did need help. I didn't realize it at the time. So I think we're in the right now. We're in the I did need help. I didn't realize it at the time part. And I think that if we can continue to have a reasonable relationship the way we are right now, and trust me, not, every day is great. We were, like, Arden and I were yelling at each other about something tangentially diabetes related, 48 hours ago, like, you know, that
Zuzka 57:15
makes me feel so much better, yeah, 100%
Scott Benner 57:17
like, I mean, like, and we were almost in a, like, an we have a very similar personality, so we were almost like in a screaming match at one point, like it stems from all the stuff that you've gone through and all the stuff that I've shared on here coming to a boiling point. I'm trying to assert this as needed and necessary. She's trying to assert her independence. It's all very important to do. I mean, I even think the argument is important to have. But you know, the next day, we're not fighting still, like we're reasonable and everything. And I just think we're in that part right now where she still thinks either I don't know how she feels about it, whether she doesn't feel like she deserves or needs the attention, or maybe she just doesn't want it, like, I don't know, like, you know, in that soup somewhere. I think that if we stay on the course we're on, and keep making reasonable decisions, and I back off when it's not absolutely necessary. And she steps up when she's able to that. She'll continue to mature. She'll get to a point like we all do, where you look back and you go, Oh my god, I broke my mom's balls on this, and I didn't need to.
Zuzka 58:15
And I don't even need my son to realize that, like, you know, I was horrible. I just need him to understand that I am not this horrible, overbearing person, like I am just trying my hardest between raising him to be a functional human being and not hurting himself, health wise, with diabetes, with a long term complication,
Scott Benner 58:37
yeah, no, and that's completely reasonable, but you're in an unwinnable situation,
Zuzka 58:42
yeah, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, yeah, I can win, yeah? Because you
Scott Benner 58:45
have all of the you have all the challenges of raising a person mixed with all of the challenges of not taking care of diabetes well and hypothyroidism on top of yeah and that for fun, just because there wasn't enough to do. So you have all those things mixed together. You are you're making the best of a not perfect situation. And the truth is, you know, when you see those people online who are diagnosed and they're they have this initial knee jerk reaction like this just changed our lives. Nothing's going to be the same anymore. Here's the secret that's true, right? Like but you have to adapt to it. You have to continue to do the best you can with the cards you're dealt, like that's that's what not giving up is, because it's not going to go away. It's not going to go away, it's not going to change, and the implications on all sides aren't going to change. It's not going to stop being medically a medical disaster if you don't take care of yourself. Kids aren't going to stop not listening to their parents. Cinnamon is not going to cure it. Cinnamon is not going to get it. I mean, we tried, it didn't work. So, like, this is it? This is why I have, over the years, talked about the way astronauts think, because an astronaut is taught to address the next thing that's trying to kill them. Because everything's trying to kill them, and so you can't fight all the things at once. You fight the thing that's in your face that is currently trying to kill you, that is not a fun way to live. And while I don't believe diabetes is a situation where everything is trying to kill you constantly, I do think that attacking it from that position is valuable of I'm going to deal with the thing right now that is the most present and most necessary to deal with. I'm not going to think about the rest of it because, yes, I'm dealing with this thing right now. And is there another thing that's going to try to get us 10 steps away? It is, but it doesn't help me to think about that right now.
Zuzka 1:00:36
And sometimes the mental health is more important than physical right like, sometimes we have to choose to back off right and let them make mistakes, to learn.
Scott Benner 1:00:46
Listen, there's a diabetes version of a Saturday night where you eat ice cream and potato chips, right, right, where you're just like, I've had a week. This is a disaster. I'm gonna put the worst TV show on I can find eat a pint of ice cream, and then I'm gonna wash it down with a Dorito. And this is not a good decision for me. I shouldn't be doing this, but I don't really have another way out, right? Some people get into that situation and they drink, that's not a good decision. Some people get in that situation and they get high, that's not a great decision either. But sometimes people just get to a point where they need to do something, and if they don't do it, they're gonna snap. Yeah? And that's the thing I'm talking about. Like, snapping is not an option. So no, you gotta bend. Giving up is not an option. Yeah, I don't think you're a big American football person, but sometimes you gotta play a little prevent defense, little bend, but don't break. Every play can't be I can't give up a yard. You can't put that pressure on yourself because, because the other side is going to win sometimes, and if, if your goal is always perfection, then every time the other side moves, even if it's just a yard, you're going to feel like I failed. So once in a while, you say to yourself, on this next play, we're going to let them get four yards, and I'm going to rest a little, and then I'm going to come back and smack them in the teeth, and we'll put an end to it here. And that's, I just think that sometimes that's what life is, and sometimes that's what diabetes is. Because again, you know what I'm thinking? What's that
Zuzka 1:02:10
I'm thinking, like, thank God he's using football, not baseball, because going into it, I'm like, I have no idea about baseball. Like, he's gonna say something about baseball, like, comparison, and then I'm not gonna, you're
Scott Benner 1:02:22
not gonna know it. No. I mean, listen, I can, I can do it in baseball, and a little bit, yeah, no, I can. I can do it in baseball if you want, but it would have been more about, like, walking a batter and then, like, just it felt more natural. Understand, I honestly think football is the more natural, like explanation to another, yeah, if I grew up on the other side of the world. Again, I think soccer is a is a great sometimes you just got to let people run themselves out. You know what? I mean? Like, it's, yeah, you you can't constantly be in a battle of perfection. It just doesn't work. So, you know, you keep playing the game. You give a little, you take a little, you give, you take, you go back and forth, and you just try to be on the right side of the score when it's over. That's, I think that's all life is, honestly.
Zuzka 1:03:03
You know what I don't do on Fridays afternoon. Fun fact, what's on parent? That's my break. That's
Scott Benner 1:03:10
your ice cream and Doritos. You're like, it's Friday, yes, try not to kill yourself. Goodbye.
Zuzka 1:03:14
Friday after school, me and kids. I'm like, whatever. Get yourself dinner. Find yourself something. We all on our own, doing our own thing. I don't parent as long as they don't die. We're good Friday this afternoon. Listen,
Scott Benner 1:03:27
we're just a couple of generations behind. That's how I was. Like, that was my entire life. Like, my wife will tell a story that during the summer, I don't think it's a story. She thinks, like, Oh, I think my mom would love it if people heard this. She said, during the summer, we got up, we got dressed, we ate. My mom literally pushed us out the door and locked it behind us. And it was come back at dinner like you go take care of yourself today and come back at dinner.
Zuzka 1:03:52
That was the 70s. I know, I don't know how my parents did it. Like no cell phone, like, you know, come back home with the street lights turn on. Yeah, right. You know kind of deal. My
Scott Benner 1:04:03
parents didn't know where I was ever, never, and you're here doing just fine. I'd also, I didn't have a portal to the world in my pocket, like so you could only, you know, you could only plunder what you could walk to, and there wasn't much near you. A lot of my childhood is just wasting time, just going around, kicking a ball around, throwing a ball around, talking to people, walking. How much of your life was spent walking to someone's house to see if they were home alive? Yeah, and then they weren't home and they had to walk back. There's two hours a shot, yeah, and you're tired, so you really can't get into much. I mean, the worst thing that we could do as kids is shoplift, seriously, like, there really wasn't much to do if you were going to get into trouble. I don't know. It's a different world. So also, I think it's possible that our access to the world has made people more neurotic, too. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. You
Zuzka 1:04:56
feel like with Dexcom. You like having Dexcom, but it's like all these days. Yeah, sure,
Scott Benner 1:05:00
right. When you hear that somebody 16 states away, you know, lit a car dealership on fire, you think, Oh, that could happen here. And, like, I mean, it's not going to happen there. It happened there. It's not going to happen all over the place. Like, you know, there's bad weather in Texas. They don't have electricity. That makes you nervous. You know what? I mean, like, that kind of stuff. You didn't know about stuff like that before. That before. You just didn't know, like, you knew about big things, and sometimes you didn't know about them for weeks or months until after they happened, and the nightly news was, like, not even a thing. Like, most people didn't even watch it. But now it doesn't stop. Like, right? It does not stop no matter what side of like, any idea you're on, from the littlest thing, like how to make bread, to what's going on in politics, like in everything in between, you have access to 1000 opinions, and they're all jacking you up because they want you to like and subscribe so like, you know You're being you're just being ratcheted up to 1000 every digital touch point you have in your life.
Zuzka 1:06:04
Yes. So people want me anxious, obviously, yes.
Scott Benner 1:06:09
So you'll go back and check again. This is very simple. Like, that's why the news is scary. Like, even in the 80s, like, you know, they'd always tell you something scary that was going on where you lived, so that you'll come back next week to see if you're safe or next day to see if you're safe. It's all marketing. Everything is marketing. You're being marketed to constantly. It's for your time. They want your time. They want your attention. Because the longer you stay in their thing, the more they can charge for ads. That's all this is if you just put your phone down, you'd feel better if you stopped watching the news. The world wouldn't change one little bit. You don't actually have any impact over it. The world wouldn't change one little bit, and you would feel better. Doesn't matter who's your congressman or the president or what's happening in the world. The world is going to do what it's going to do, and you and your house, you don't have a lot of impact on it. So it'll make you feel better, but it's not going to actually do anything. You know what? I mean? I was sitting in traffic the other day, and I saw a woman give a guy in a Tesla the finger, and it was clearly just because he was driving a Tesla, not because they weren't doing anything, right? And I thought, Oh, my God, that does that woman think she's making a political statement? I was like, that's you bet she is, yeah. And I thought, That's so interesting. And then I look closer and I realized the guy in the Tesla didn't see her giving him the finger like it never had. I'm watching the whole thing, like from across the intersection. This is fascinating. So she's now performatively giving him the finger because he doesn't see it. I thought, Oh, she feels like she's done something. Yeah, she felt better about herself. Yeah. I was like, That's fascinating. I was like, she thinks she's making the world a better place. And I was like, That guy that Tesla looks like, it's six years old. People at that a long time ago, you didn't even, I'm like, this is all fascinating. My thought for her was, very simply, if she put her phone down, she'd be happier. That's what I thought when I saw that happening. She should really get off of her social media algorithm. It's making her crazy. That guy was just, he's the guy. He's just trying to go to work, you know what I mean? So anyway, yeah, put your phone down, you'll feel better. Thanks. You're very welcome. I appreciate you doing I appreciate you doing this with me. Very much. Thank you, Scott. If only we could have found a way to refer to you as Tenille. At some point, we could have called this episode captain, and Tenille would have been awesome, but I don't get that one, but oh, it's an old singing group from the from the 70s. Don't look it up. Wasn't
Zuzka 1:08:37
living in America like offending me right
Scott Benner 1:08:41
now. It's just word play, Captain, no, please don't look it up. It's not worth looking into. Now I have to no please that well, that's gonna be a big waste of five minutes of your life. No. Couch potato. It is, yeah, whatever you say, couch potato, Summer, yeah, I think it fits. Okay. All right, that's what we're gonna do. Hold on one second for me. Okay?
Zuzka 1:09:02
You Are
Scott Benner 1:09:05
you tired of getting a rash from your CGM adhesive give the ever sense 365, a try, ever since cgm.com/juicebox, beautiful silicon that they use it changes every day, keeps it fresh. Not only that, you only have to change the sensor once a year. So I mean, that's better. Thanks for tuning in today, and thanks to Medtronic diabetes for sponsoring this episode. We've been talking about Medtronic mini med 780 G system today, an automated insulin delivery system that helps make diabetes management easier day and night, whether it's their meal detection technology or the Medtronic extended infusion set, it all comes together to simplify life with diabetes. Go find out more at my link, Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox the podcast contains so many different series and collections of information that it can be difficult to find. Them in your traditional podcast app. Sometimes, that's why they're also collected at Juicebox podcast.com, go up to the top. There's a menu right there. Click on series, defining diabetes. Bold beginnings, the pro tip. Series, small sips, Omnipod, five ask Scott and Jenny, mental wellness, fat and protein, defining thyroid, after dark, diabetes, variables, Grand Rounds, cold, wind, pregnancy, type two diabetes, GLP, meds, the math behind diabetes, diabetes myths and so much more. You have to go check it out. It's all there. I'm waiting for you, and it's absolutely free. Juicebox podcast.com, okay, well, here we are at the end of the episode. You're still with me. Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review? Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribed in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me, or Instagram. Tiktok. Oh gosh, here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group, as well as the public Facebook page you don't want to miss, please. You not know about the private group. You have to join the private group. As of this recording, it has 51,000 members in it. They're active, talking about diabetes, whatever you need to know. There's a conversation happening in there right now, and I'm there all the time. Tag me. I'll say hi. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com. You.
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