#1808 After Dark: Brain Fog
A late-night DKA scare leads to a type 1 diagnosis, and this family dives headfirst into learning—navigating honeymoon swings, school challenges, tech decisions, and finding confidence through community and better insulin timing.
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Key Takeaways
- Trauma and Memory: Difficult childhood circumstances, such as growing up in a household with illegal drug activity, can lead to blocking out significant memories, including the exact timeline of a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis.
- The Impact of Burnout: Severe diabetes burnout and depression can manifest as apathy toward management, sometimes referred to as passive suicidal ideation, where a person knows how to manage their care but simply lacks the will to do it.
- Cognitive Effects of Hyperglycemia: Consistently high blood sugars don't just affect physical health; they cause profound "brain fog," leading to confusion, mood swings, and an inability to correctly process conversations.
- Finding the Spark to Change: A desire to build a healthy future, maintain physical abilities (like eyesight for bowling), and have a family can serve as the critical motivation to finally take control of diabetes management.
- The Value of Community: Discovering a supportive community—like the Juice Box Podcast and its Facebook group—can be a lifeline, demonstrating that successful management is possible and providing much-needed peer support.
Resources Mentioned
- Juice Box Podcast Small Sips: juiceboxpodcast.com
- Juice Box Podcast Private Facebook Group: Search "Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes" on Facebook
- US Med: usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514
- Omnipod 5: omnipod.com/juicebox
- Juice Cruise 2026: juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise
- Wrong Way Recording: wrongwayrecording.com
Welcome & Introduction
Scott Benner Here we are back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
Raheem Hey, Scott. So I'm Raheem. I'm a type one diabetic as most of the people that are on are on this show, and I just can't really wait to tell my story and, you know, share some of my wild things that I've gone through in the years that I've been diabetic.
Scott Benner If you'd like to hear about diabetes management in easy to take in bits, check out the small sips. That's the series on the Juice Box podcast that listeners are talking about like it's a cheat code. These are perfect little bursts of clarity, one person said. I finally understood things I've heard a 100 times. Short, simple, and somehow exactly what I needed.
Scott Benner People say small sips feels like someone pulling up a chair, sliding a cup across the table, and giving you one clean idea at a time. Nothing overwhelming, no fire hose of information, just steady helpful nudges that actually stick. People listen in their car, on walks, or rather actually bolusing anytime that they need a quick shot of perspective. And the reviews, they all say the same thing. Small sips makes diabetes make sense.
Scott Benner Search for the Juice Box podcast, small sips, wherever you get audio. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. The episode you're listening to is sponsored by US Med, usmed.com/juicebox, or call (888) 721-1514. You can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from US Med.
Scott Benner Today's episode is also sponsored by Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod five now with my link, omnipod.com/juicebox. You may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod five starter kit at my link. Go check it out. Omnipod.com/juicebox.
Scott Benner Terms and conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox.
Raheem Hey, Scott. So I'm Raheem. I'm a type one diabetic as most of the people that are on are on this show, and I just can't really wait to tell my story and, you know, share some of my wild things that I've gone through in the years that I've been diabetic.
Meeting Scott and Fuzzy Timelines
Scott Benner Well, your note just says, like, hey. This might be an after dark. So I was like, okay. We'll we'll find out. Now we've met a couple of times.
Scott Benner Right?
Raheem We have. Yeah. So you've come down to Orlando a few times, back when I well, I think you came to, like, the Disney parks actually for the conventions and things like that. And I just so happened to work at Universal at the time, and I was like, oh, I kinda know who this guy is. Like, I'll go check it out because it's, like, right in my backyard.
Raheem So I was like, let's just see what this is about. And, yeah, that's how we actually met the very first time. Yeah.
Scott Benner Very cool. So how long have you had type one when were you diagnosed?
Raheem You know, that's a that's a good question. And I know again, I I I've listened to your shows the show quite a bit as well. I know I was diagnosed. My first memory of diabetes is probably, like, seventh grade. I'm sure I was diabetic a little bit before that.
Raheem I'm guessing fifth grade, and I know that I was born in '89. So how old you are in those ages and things, I'm not sure, but fifth grade, seventh grade, right around there.
Scott Benner I can't believe you just told me you were born that you're a graduated from high school. Hey. Hard to find.
Raheem Things.
Scott Benner But okay. Wait. But what's with your life that you're not a 100% sure when you were diagnosed?
Raheem I think it was a little bit of, like, childhood trauma and things that I went through where I just kind of blocked out a lot of my life. And then even, like, early stage diabetes, I found that, like, I wasn't taking care of myself. So I found that my blood sugars were just, like, hanging out in, like, the 400, 500 range, like, constantly. And then I just have, like, a little bit of, like, memory fog of all that, like, piecing some of the stories together. Like, even when I was prepping for, like, this podcast and being on the show, I was like I was like doing a timeline, and I was like, this is a huge gap of where I have no idea what happened.
Raheem So I think it's, I think it just, you know, just had to piece it together, and I was like, I don't really know what happened for twenty years of my life and sometimes.
Scott Benner Well, maybe we have to understand your family structure a little better because if you're like, even if you were diagnosed, you know, around a certain grade, you know, fifth, sixth, seventh, who care? Like, in there, did you not have people helping you? What was your family structure? Were you living at home? Did you I feel like there's gotta be a story there.
Diagnosis at Golden Corral
Raheem There's a whole bunch of story. So, strap in. So I have to start. It all started out, you know, probably about thirty some odd years ago. It's just a itch in my dad's pants.
Raheem That's just how it started. You know? But we actually got to once we got to, like, the diabetes part, like, my mom was actually a CNA, and, like, this spans until, like, the when I first remembered diabetes and everything. My mom was, a certified nurse's assistant, so she kinda saw the signs. The only thing I remember is that it was around the Thanksgiving holiday.
Raheem Everybody was like, oh, yeah. You know, we're gonna have all this ham, turkey, you know, mashed potatoes, the whole nine yards. And I was like, I'll take some Sprite. Yeah. Sprite sounds good for Thanksgiving.
Raheem And then as, you know, everyone's eating and everything, I'm like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And, again, I'm I'm young at this time, so I'm not really sure what's going on. I'm like, I like to eat. You know, I'm a big guy, all things considered. Mhmm.
Raheem I like to eat. But out that day, I was just like, no. So it is all day for me today. So then my mom was like, yeah. That's kind of a weird symptom, and my grandmother was diabetic.
Raheem I think she was type two, but, again, back then, you know, they didn't they knew what was going on, but they kinda gave her shots and gave her pills at the same time.
Scott Benner Yeah.
Raheem So she kinda threw a couple red flags. She was like, you know, if he's peeing a lot, it's kinda the symptoms that I go through too. You know, we should go get him checked out. So I remember February, actually, it was. So after Thanksgiving, all that stuff went by.
Raheem We went to, like, the primary care. Were probably like, you know, figure it out. Yeah. We'll do some testing, things like that. And then they ended up sending us to the Shands Hospital in, like, Gainesville.
Raheem I'm from Florida, as you know. And then when we went to Gainesville, they were just like, you know, it's it's definitely type one diabetes. You know, he's been yearning a lot. He's been going to the bathroom. He just has all these signs.
Raheem So just like every other endo, they gave me my last meal, which I clear as they remember was Golden Corral. And, I remember that day. I I I do very vividly remember that day because, you know, back in the day when Golden Corral was, like, this huge you know, it was, like, the place to be as a kid. I just remember just stuff in my face. And I remember seeing my mom, and she was just always, like she's, like, kinda, like, sad.
Raheem And I was like, what are you talking about? This is the best day ever. Like, we're at Golden Corral. We just did this doctor's appointment that, like, I didn't know what was going on, but I got the food, so we're good. And then so, you know, after that, they really just brought in the needle, showed me the the old school teddy bears, all the the vials at NPH, and that's just kind of how it's been.
Raheem It's just I don't have much memories of it, you know, per se.
Scott Benner But are you in charge of your insulin, or is your are your parents helping you with it?
Raheem They were back then in the start of it. Like I said, I I I remember when I when I first be when I first when they first, like, introduced me to, like, the syringes and things like that, I was like, this is no big deal. I can do this. Like, I clearly remember my dad even you know, we're all in the office with the endos and the the nurse practitioners and everything, and we're shooting the teddy bear, everything like that. And I'm like, you know, this is fine.
Raheem No big deal. And my dad just again, I don't know if this was a dream or if this is real life. I just remember him dropping pants already at the Indos office and being like, alright. Cool. You've done it with the banana.
Raheem You've done it with the teddy bear. You shoot it in me, and it's, know, like the saline back then. Mhmm. So I was like, alright. Cool.
Raheem Let's do it. I poked him with it. He jumped, and I was like, man, this is crazy. I don't think that, like, this is for me or whatever. But then after, you know, talking to the Indos and everything like that, they were like, you you know, you gotta give yourself shots.
Raheem And I was like, I thought this little bottle of insulin, I thought this was something that I was gonna, you know, drink, parsley. Like, you you mean I gotta inject this? And they were like, yeah. You know, this is what you gotta do for probably the rest of your life. And I'm, you know, a little kid.
Raheem I was like, yeah. That's the worst of our day. Not that bad. I just injected my dad. I've been injecting this teddy bear for thirty minutes.
Raheem Like, no big deal. So in the beginning, I was giving myself my own injections as as as at that age and stuff like that. No problems at all. But then about a year into my diabetes, like, maybe this first, second year, back then, I'm I'm sure you remember, those needles seemed to be so thick and long, and and it was just the weirdest thing. One day, remember injecting in the arm, and I remember pulling the needle out and, like, it was bent.
Raheem And, like, from that moment, I was like, I can't do this. My mom's a CNA. Like, she can inject me. My dad can figure it out. You know, they they can inject me from here on in.
Raheem So, I mean, as a family, we definitely, all gathered around the diabetes, but it was more a thing that they told me it was my autoimmune disease, something that I'm gonna have to figure out. Because as an adult, once I get to that adulthood, you know, they may not be around or whatever the case may be. So, yeah, in the beginning, they definitely were there to help me, but it was more of a self managed once I got things going. You know? Mhmm.
Scott Benner Yeah. Okay. Because when you're first talking, you're you're talking about, like, not really remembering a chunk of time with diabetes because you think of high blood sugars. So do you really think your blood sugars were in the four hundreds often, or do you even have an ability to to know what they were back then? Was the doctor tracking them?
Raheem Oh, yeah. I remember at the beginning when I was first, like, going in for the diagnosis, I was diagnosed at a five zero six. Why do I remember that number? I don't know. But I remember seeing those huge, you know, glucometers and seeing five zero six.
Raheem And then, again, you know, the first couple of months, you know, we were testing. I was probably in range for a while. I was probably, like, one forties, two hundreds because, you know, back then, the range was a little bit wider. So I probably was, like, in the range. But then as I got a little bit older and I realized, you know, I kinda feel how my body's going, I stopped testing, and then that's when I think that the super hyperglycemia happened, and I had I was just okay with it.
Depression and Teen Years
Raheem Guess maybe it was almost like a stage of, like, a depression because I was just getting overwhelmed with it from it never going away. If I wanted to go on vacation, diabetes was there. If I wanted to hang out with my friends, diabetes was there. If I wanted to go bowling, diabetes came with me. I was like, does this does this thing ever take a break?
Raheem So I think that's where you know, during those teenage years is when I was really, like, combatting against it. Yeah. I just didn't wanna do it anymore. So I took the insulin every once in a while and kept going about my day.
Scott Benner Took it once in a while. Were you regular an Miles per hour in '89? How did they start you?
Raheem Oh, yeah. Yep. The regular, the Miles per hour mixing them and and things of that nature. And then I know as we go along this story, there was even a time where my mom kind of I wouldn't say, like, gave up on me and, like, taking care of me, but she needed help, per se. So she actually sent me to the it was called the Diabetic Project Unit in Gainesville where they held, like, us as middle schoolers, and they taught us about diabetes.
Raheem So I remember I I clear as they remember maybe 2000, maybe 2000 and yeah. Actually, the program ended in 2001, so I'd probably say 2000. They really taught us like, they really drilled, like, carb counting, protein counting, fat counting, and and really had us exercising a lot. So, like, at an early age, I still knew how to do that, but I didn't think that because, you know, back then, they were like, oh, yeah. We're gonna find a cure in twenty years, and I knew.
Raheem I think I understood at a young age. I was like, I don't think that they're gonna figure this one out because I gotta travel with this everywhere I go where my friends, you know, wear glasses when they want to or whatever the case may be. But I was like, this this is I don't think this one's going anywhere anytime soon. So
Scott Benner Yeah. Okay. So are you are you telling me that through your young life that insulin was more about, like, shooting a couple of times a day? There wasn't really a lot of testing. You're going to the doctor once in a while, and you're seeing your your outcomes are not awesome, but you're alive and you're moving.
Scott Benner And it's a lot of pressure on you, and you're not exactly excited about being involved with it all the time. But can I ask you, like, when you see those outcomes, like, looking back now as an adult, why do your parents not jump in and say, hey? This is out of hand. We have to fix this.
The Family Business
Raheem It's where it gets a little dark, actually. They were busy. What's the best word you could put here? Hustling.
Scott Benner Hustling? Yeah. What were they hustling?
Raheem The good stuff. The stuff that they they definitely how do you say? Underground pharmacies. How do how do you They
Scott Benner were running a a social experiment. Blah blah blah. So your parents sold drugs?
Raheem Yeah.
Scott Benner Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they were out working?
Raheem Yeah. They they definitely had to to make sure that there was, food on the table and things like that. So, yes, they they made sure that the house was taken care of, any means that they needed to. Yes.
Scott Benner Were they using the product?
Raheem No. Not early stage. No. A little bit later down in life, I believe so. But during the beginning stages or what I remember, no.
Raheem It was really just a business to keep the lights on, to keep food on the table, to keep life in check. Yeah.
Scott Benner Did you have a feeling as a kid that that's what was happening? Did you understand the family business, I guess? (14:10) This episode is brought to you by Omnipod.
Sponsor Break
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Left at the Zoo
Raheem I understood it. Yes. To an extent. So that actually brings me into another story, was before the diabetes thing, if I could share. Please.
Raheem I was in kindergarten, And I knew that my mom and my teacher didn't get along. Why? Couldn't tell you. But I remember this field trip. We went to the to the zoo, actually, not too far away, maybe thirty minutes, whatever the case may be.
Raheem I remember at the zoo, every you know, I'm kind of, like, getting away from the crowd. Like, we had chaperones. You know, this is pre pandemic, pre '9 eleven, pre you know, when the world was a little different. I remember the zoo, it's getting dark outside, and I'm like, you know, where's everybody at? Like, something's going on here.
Raheem Come to find out, this teacher left me at the zoo. So you're like, woah. This wouldn't fly in today's world. But back then, a little bit different. Comes to find out, I actually just spoke with my mom not too long ago, a couple months ago, and I asked.
Raheem And I was like, do you remember this story? She's like, yeah. I remember that individual. She's like, yeah. She left you at the stew because she owed me money, and she didn't wanna pay, and so she left you behind.
Raheem And I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, it was
Scott Benner The teacher was the client.
Raheem I believe so. Now she what was she a client of? Maybe she was just buying a little weed on the side. I don't know. But it was to in a point where I got left behind.
Scott Benner Hey. I wanted to ask you before you moved on. Was it just weed, or did it go farther than that?
Raheem It got a little bit further. I can't deny that one to you, but a lot of weed is what I saw. Yeah.
Scott Benner Lots of weed. But then what what's next? Coke?
Raheem Yeah. A little bit of Coke, couple pills. Yeah. Yeah. Crack, I'm sure.
Raheem I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.
Scott Benner It was an expansive project.
Raheem Yeah. Yeah. Kitchen was always hot.
Scott Benner And you and Jesus. Were you in a meth house? You weren't, were you?
Raheem No. Not in a meth house. Not not that crazy.
Scott Benner Scott, that's insane. What are you saying? Yeah. Yeah. Alright.
The D.A.R.E. Officers
Scott Benner So that's an awesome story. I hope every Here's Go ahead.
Raheem Here's where it gets a little crazier as well. So, again, this is where the timeline I don't know if it makes sense because I don't know how old I was, parsing in kindergarten. But I remember after, like, that spilled over maybe a month or two later until, like, the school year. I don't know. Call me crazy, but I sure remember a lot of DARE officers being around and asking me a lot of questions.
Raheem And this is when my brain even as in kindergarten, my brain was like, you know, something's going on here. And I still remember to this day my mom being like, look. If any officers at the school talk to you, you don't know anything. So I that's how I kinda knew that she was drilling something into me, you know, a way to speak to individuals because, again, I know the DARE thing kind of had its own, how do you say, bad side of it where they were trying to, know, get the kids to talk about things that were going at home so they could use them later.
Scott Benner Yeah.
Raheem Might be one of my weird conspiracy theories, but, yeah, it just it was just odd after that incident happened that all these officers started asking me questions. So I think that's when I kinda realized that, like, something was going on.
Scott Benner Something was going on. Boy boy, that's really that's but now listen. How old are you now today?
Raheem Born in '89. I don't know. 30, 30 Carrie the seventh. '36, I think.
Scott Benner Okay. Looking back, do you see that as insane? You don't have children. Right?
Raheem I don't have children. No.
Scott Benner But if you had children, do you under do you see that of, like, pulling them aside in kindergarten and going, listen. If the man shows up, you don't know nothing.
Raheem Yeah. In hindsight now, I'm like, oh, wow. That's that's you know, it's it's wild because, like, now as a as a grown man, you know, I understand because I I dabble a little bit into the marijuana because it is, medically acceptable in Florida now. So, know, you I do dabble into it now. But, Naya, now that I see it, I'm like, the way that she was speaking to me, there was a lot going on, but, like, she knew that, you know, kids would say the weirdest things.
Raheem I'm sure you see the TikToks and things of, like, these things that parents hear or the teachers hear
Scott Benner Right.
Raheem That they say in the schools and things. So I'm sure that my mom was like, I don't want this little kid to, you know, say some wild things of what's going on and mess up something. So
Scott Benner My mom says we're not moving enough product this week. And
Raheem Yeah. So so Oof.
Scott Benner Miss teacher lady, you better, you better pay up before you have to
Scott Benner Don't make us send the guy around. Okay? No. Jesus. Goodness.
Scott Benner Oh my gosh. Alright. Okay. So now I understand a little better about how your your diabetes care went. So, basically, there was no one putting, you know, leave at the beaver level effort into your health.
Raheem Correct. Okay. Okay.
Scott Benner And so then what does that lead to? Like, explain to me from a diabetes perspective what your time was like growing up, and when the I guess I'd like to know right now, where are you at right now with your care?
Raheem Yeah. So right now with my care, with my current girlfriend, she's a nurse actually, so she is, like, on top of my diabetes. Like, my a one c's are probably about a six, maybe a six two or so.
Scott Benner Mhmm.
Raheem So as of right now, we've been on top of things. If you were to ask me where my a one c was three, four years ago right after pandemic kind of hit, I was probably hanging around the nine and ten area zone.
Scott Benner So then, basically, from the time you were diagnosed I love how you also didn't know how old you are. From the time you were diagnosed until just a little post pandemic, You don't really know. Your a one c's were higher. Were you seeing a doctor yearly, quarterly? How did you manage on that side?
Doctor Visits and Feeling Giving Up On
Raheem After I turned 18, after I was an adult, I'd probably say I'd saw a doctor, like the endo or the nurse practitioner, maybe once a year, And that was just to fill the medicine. Yep. That was it. And I still remember going into the office, and she's like, oh, how's your feet? How's your how's your, you know, how's everything feeling on the inside?
Raheem And I was like, you know, respectfully, ma'am, just can you do the insulin so I can keep going about my day? Can you just fill the strip the strips? Which I had 1,000,000,000 of them at home because I wasn't testing, but I still wanted them to be filled because if things did hit the fan, I knew I was like, ah, I got a little stockpile just in case if I actually had to use it, yeah, to end those appointments. I think that they kinda gave up on me at one point, I'm sure, because I remember probably mid twenties or so. They were just giving me the, what was it, the $70.30, and they were like, look.
Raheem Just try to do this twice a day. We know your a one c is out of control. Like, this is just gonna at least keep you alive as long as they possibly could. And, again, I I respect those that are on the seventy thirty. I respect those that are on the fast acting and the pumps and the x, y, and z things.
Raheem But, yeah, I was I was kind of a a dead case to them, I feel.
Scott Benner Well, yeah, I mean, you can almost tell by she's just asking about your feet. She's wondering when you're gonna get to the next part. And Exactly. Yeah. And so oh, okay.
Scott Benner So this part I'd like to dig into for a while because you're older there and you have better recollection of that. Why weren't you trying to take care of yourself? Did you understand the the ramifications of not doing so?
Raheem Oh, a 100%. I don't know if this is gonna get bleeped out or anything, but, I still remember, like, going to some of the Endo's appointments, and they're being like, listen. Do you wanna have sex when you're older? And I was like, yeah. Of course.
Raheem And they were like, listen. If you don't get your diabetes under control, it's not gonna work. Like, it's not you're not gonna be able to do that. And I'm like, okay. Well, we'll see what happens.
Raheem Like, when that when that day comes, I'll cross that path then. So they definitely told me about it, but I was just
Scott Benner Did you believe it?
Raheem In the spot. Yeah. I just I didn't care. I I think I was I think I was going through some type of depression where I just didn't care. I didn't want to be diabetic anymore.
Raheem I just didn't wanna do it. I knew how. I just didn't want to.
Scott Benner And you weren't I mean, do it it's not like you were doing a whole lot to begin with. Right? Like, you just wanted you wanted to be just disconnected from it completely, not may not it made easier or better or something like that. Like so is that a suicidal feeling, or do you not think of it that way? Like, I listen.
Scott Benner Because, obviously, if you take if someone takes their own life, it happens pretty instantaneously. By saying I'm not gonna take care of my blood sugar, and I know that there's gonna be bad outcomes years down the line, it's just a very slow suicide. So but do but do you think about it that way?
Raheem I don't believe so. Now, again, once once you guys, like once everyone sees who I am and can structure me as a person, I know you we've actually crossed paths, like, face to face and things. In our household, we don't believe, I guess, is the right way that that should be an option. Mhmm. So that never crossed my mind that way, but did I know that that was what that's what was happening?
Raheem Yeah. I thought that's what the outcome would have ultimately been. But I was always like, hey. I'll take just enough insulin to keep it going, just enough to get by, not enough to live happy and healthy, but just enough to see the next morning. You know?
Scott Benner It's interesting to know that you you understood the the long term ramifications. But did you think I'll turn this ship around before it's too late? Like, I'll just ride out this low effort as long as I can, and then I'll just stop? Or did you have a plan at the end for how to stop it from ending your life or hurting you so so much so that you kinda couldn't rebound from it?
Knowing How vs. Wanting To
Raheem Yeah. So, again, when I was in, like, the the project unit in Gainesville, they taught us they they really rammed how to, like, count carbs, the proteins, the fat. They even had, like, mental health doctors come in and talk to us.
Scott Benner Mhmm.
Raheem So it's it's I knew how to take care of myself. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't want to. So I thought, yeah, I do believe that at some point, I was like, you know, as long as I can get by another day, like, I'll be fine.
Raheem And then, you know, next month, I'll I'll start taking care of myself. Next month, I'll I'll actually test maybe once or twice this week. You know? And it was kind of at that point. It was I would say it was what you may call, like, a suicidal thought, but not a suicidal idea.
Scott Benner Well, I understand. So what stopped next month from coming? When you're like, oh, I'll pull it together next month. How come next month came and you were like, maybe next month? Like, how did like, what do you know what that was?
Raheem Yeah. I was probably just smoking weed and then I forgot.
Scott Benner Because I got high? Because I got high? Because I got high? I was gonna
Raheem clean my room and then I was like, you know, I could just hang out here for a little while. Like, everything seems
Scott Benner to fine. What a great song that was, by the way.
Raheem It was. I wish I could go back to the '2 thousand sometimes. I
Scott Benner was gonna clean my room, then I got a okay. Well, that makes sense. Was there a lady in your life at that point?
Raheem Yeah. I so my turnaround point. Right?
Scott Benner Yeah. That's what I'm finding. That's what I'm looking for.
Raheem Was probably about let's see. 2014, 2013. Okay? That was probably the turnaround point because I did meet a a young lady, a very nice young lady. I thought I was gonna get married.
Raheem I thought everything was going great. And then, you know, you heard the word thought there. So, obviously, I'm not with said lady anymore. Some things happened. We went our different ways.
Raheem So at that time frame when we were together and things weren't going good, I was like, you know, maybe I should get things under control. You know? Maybe I do wanna have a family. Maybe I do want to, you know, give to this to this to this lady, to this family that we could potentially grow. Mhmm.
Raheem I was like, you know, maybe this a one c thing, maybe this diabetes thing, I do need to get it under control. And she was totally on board, which is kinda how I figured out about the podcast. I don't remember exactly when you started recording or so, but I remember her being like, oh, yeah. I found this podcast, and I was like, hey. This guy excuse me for what I say here, but this is how I found you.
Raheem This is why I do this. My girlfriend with the girlfriend at the time was like, you know, this podcast guy kinda seems what he's going through. His daughter's been diabetic for basically her whole life. And I was like, yeah. Yeah.
Raheem Yeah. I was like, yeah. It's probably just some, like, some gimmick or, you know, just just some fake stuff. And I was like, you know, I'll give it an episode. And so I don't remember which episode I listened to, and I was like, you know, he's really just chilling in about how his daughter's a one c has been under, you know, six for, like, ever.
Raheem And I was like, I could do that, but I don't want to right now. Mhmm. So that was right around the time I had an endo appointment. I'm starting to get my life back in track, and the endo was like, yeah. You want a Dexcom or no.
Raheem You want an Omnipod? I'll give it to you. No problem. Put the Omnipod on, and I actually test my blood sugar, and I was, you know, two ten. And I was like, you know, it's not bad because three hours ago, I was probably about four hundred because I could feel it in the eyes.
Raheem I could feel it in the body.
Feeling It in the Eyes
Scott Benner You could feel it in your eyes. Explain that to people.
Raheem Oh, goodness. So I'm a I'm a bowler as well. So that's how I got through, like, my college as well as I call it, bowling paid for my college. When I say I can feel it in my eyes, of course, I have a little bit of what is it called neuropathy retinopathy. Mhmm.
Raheem So I do see, like, the little flurries here and there. Sometimes whenever I go bowling, I I I'm aiming, you know, because you gotta aim. You can't just throw it to the left side. Whenever I'm aiming, I see some of these flurries. And whenever they get a little larger, I'm like, oh, man.
Raheem My blood sugar is extremely high right now. And then, again, that's kinda what taught me. I was like, I don't wanna go blind because I wanna see the world. So I was like, yeah. Now we're at that point where we really need to start, fixing our life before those complications that I was told about when I was younger.
Raheem Now I'm starting to see them happening, and I'm like, okay. It it's time.
Scott Benner I wanna make sure I understand the timeline better. So I've been this is the twelfth year of the podcast. We're recording now in January 2026, and I started making it the very beginning of 2015. Do you think you've been aware of the podcast for ten years, or are you just mixing are you mixing up the timeline a little bit?
Raheem No. It's been about no. I I was there about from the start.
Scott Benner Okay.
Raheem Yeah.
Scott Benner Okay.
Raheem I knew about it.
Scott Benner You knew Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. This girl told you about it, you were like, I don't know. And so, like and that and that's fine.
Scott Benner Because you're not right. It doesn't matter. If you're not ready, you're not gonna you're not gonna listen to it. You start worrying about your eyes. How long ago do you think you started worrying about your eyes?
Raheem I knew my eyes were a problem when I was very young because my dad used to take me bowling. And, I mean, this is, again, how I kinda realized that I was a good bowler. When you're throwing a ball and my dad's like, you know, aim at, you know, the game of bowling, aim at that middle arrow. I was like, what middle arrow? And now that I understand the game, that middle arrow is only, I think, 13 feet away.
Raheem I had no idea what he was talking about. I was like, I don't see any arrows. I see just some little white fuzzy pen down there, but I don't know what you're talking about, man.
Scott Benner And that's you as a kid. But when as an adult, like, who's gonna change the way they take care of themselves? Were you like, oh, I'm gonna lose my sight. I gotta do something. Do you have any idea how long ago that was?
Raheem Yeah. That was probably right around that 2014, 2015.
Scott Benner Okay. You're thinking about it then. Yeah. And then but even if you have that thought then, so it's a slow matriculation into a different lifestyle. Doesn't happen overnight.
Scott Benner Right? Like, you have to kinda get into it slowly?
Raheem Exactly. Yeah.
Scott Benner Okay. And and what's that process look like? Like, is it she brings it up, you think about it a little more, you notice your eyesight, you don't want it to go bad, but then you don't pull together fast enough. She breaks up with you, you realize, oh, I'm gonna like like, give me that, like, whatever happened in there.
Raheem I started noticing a couple other problems. I don't know if this one was really, like, diabetes related, but, like, at night, I was just sweating for no reason, like, just a puddle of water. Like, it was wild. I started noticing some, like, even mental health changes. Like, I was like, oh, you know, my blood sugar's, like, dropping really fast, and I'm noticing that I'm getting mood swings.
Raheem Of course, I'm very expressive where I'm like, hey. Let's talk this out. Let's see why I'm feeling this way. I was like, I don't think I'm supposed to be swinging moods like this. So at that point, I was like, something's gotta give.
Raheem And I was like, you know, I was I was bowling a little bit, seeing the eyes were not doing well, sawing that my legs were not the muscles just couldn't really hold me up per se. So I was like, you know, I think it's time now to make a change to see if I can't get a couple of years back of my life after probably damaging every cell almost in my body.
The Turning Point and Accountability
Scott Benner Yeah. So what does that mean then? Does it mean testing more frequently, making sure to give yourself insulin on a better schedule? Like, what were your first steps that got you to where you are now?
Raheem Yeah. So the first steps really were testing once in a while because I did have the Omnipod on my body with no Dexcom. Okay?
Scott Benner Mhmm.
Raheem So I would just you know, I was like, oh, yeah. I knew how to carb count. So, you know, the the training classes that they gave you, I was like, this is kind of a joke. I was like, I did this, like, twenty years ago. Like, I can do or fifteen years ago, I can do this.
Raheem No problem. But I I really noticed that the turnaround spot happened when when the eyes were going, when everything was kind of just blanking out onto me. And then my girlfriend at the time was like, you know, hey. Look. I wanna have kids.
Raheem And, you know, I looked online, and they say that if you're diabetic, then you may not be able to do that. And I was like, oh, okay. So, yeah, I'll test, you know, once a week now. And then I was getting these weird lows, like, in the middle of the afternoon probably because the endo had set my, what you call the the basal Mhmm.
Raheem At a higher rate because she knew I wasn't gonna do anything. So she probably just set it a little bit too high, and I was just bottoming it out in the afternoon. So I was like, okay. I was like, I will start testing. I will start listening to this to your podcast and a couple other podcasters as well.
Raheem And then from there, I was just smooth sailing because, again, at that young age when they taught me how to carve down then, I don't know. I went back to 2001, I was like, oh, man. I know exactly how to do all this stuff. Like, this is not that harsh.
Scott Benner When that happened, did you have a moment where you said to yourself, why did I not do this sooner?
Raheem Oh, yeah. I had a couple of moments. There's there's actually a couple of countless nights where I just couldn't sleep because I was like, wow. I wasted countless years of my life. And, I mean, there there's just so much time spent that I was just trying to push diabetes off and, you know, just when I could've when I knew what was going on, I knew how to take care of everything.
Raheem I knew what I needed to do. But for some reason, I don't know if it was just my young man, adult brain just not listening or what it was. But, yeah, I I wish if I if there was ever a time machine, oh, I would go back and just absolutely slap the you know what out of myself.
Scott Benner Is the realization so much so like, is it powerful enough to make you depressed? Or how do you get through that when how do you get through that when you realize that your health has slipped and it was something that you could have prevented?
Raheem That's a tough one. So I just wake up the next day and I'm like, hey. Look. We're just gonna try a little bit better today. You know?
Raheem Yeah. That's pretty much it. What happened in the past is in the past. Today is a new day. We're just gonna try to do better today.
Scott Benner That's really good for you, man. Because, like, a lot of people could get stuck in the in that cycle of blaming themselves, feeling bad, not moving on.
Raheem Wow.
Scott Benner Yeah. But you were able to do that. And then why did it not end up working out with that girl? Was it about your health or did what did it end up being something different?
Raheem It was something completely different. I hope you know, she's part of your, Facebook group, which is, you know, an awesome support system. So I hope she actually doesn't listen to this, but she got caught cheating.
Scott Benner Oh, okay.
Raheem I see.
Scott Benner Oh, alright.
Raheem Well You weren't ready for that one. That's real. Curveball right there.
Scott Benner You do sound like kind of a pain in the ass if I'm being honest.
Raheem So Yeah. I totally get it. I totally get it. So, yeah. So I I kind of just figured that out, and I was like, yeah.
Raheem This is kind of weird. So you know?
Scott Benner Do you think she didn't wanna lock in with you totally because she wasn't sure if you were gonna pull together?
Raheem I don't believe so. I believe that, the way that we communicated and the way that we were, she could clear as they see that I was on a new path of getting better and handling myself. So I was actually I feel that I was on the upslope of, like Mhmm.
Raheem Getting my life together. So I thought that she would have thought that that was pretty impressive, actually. I don't really know. We don't, yeah, we don't talk about it too much because, like, we are wouldn't I say we're, like, best of friends or anything like that. But, yeah, I we don't we just it's
Scott Benner And she remains a part of my group, but she doesn't have any connection to diabetes at this point?
Raheem No. I don't believe so. I know maybe her grandparents are type twos or something of that nature, but now she doesn't have any connections.
Scott Benner I mean, in fairness, she might just think I'm awesome and just wanna listen if I'm
Raheem She could, but I mean, you do have a good phone voice. And like I said, we both, used to work for a major theme park in Orlando. So, like, maybe it is your voice.
Scott Benner Yeah. It's just like, I don't know. This is very soothing. Okay. Well, whatever.
Scott Benner I don't care as long as she's downloading and subscribed. Alright. So what's the gap of time then between, like, your, you know, relationship dissolves and today? How long has that been?
Raheem Let's see. We broke up. It was after see, it's this is such a weird thing. This is how I, like, remember things is I I put, like, the big like, what happened big, and I'm like, oh, COVID was here. Oh, you know, this happened at this time.
Raheem Like, the big anything that happens. I'm like, yeah. This is we broke up here. So let's see. Probably 2022.
Raheem 2022, I would say we broke up, and and it's why we went our separate ways.
Scott Benner But there's somebody else now is my point.
Raheem Yes. There is. It's, it's crazy. It's actually one of my high school sweethearts. Well, in high school, we didn't really know each other like that.
Raheem She was very, I know she will hear this, actually. She was very nerdy, but she was very intelligent where I was more, what do you call it, the jock of the school. I played the sports. I went I did the bowling thing, which it's it's a sport. Bowling is a sport.
Raheem We do drink our beer, but bowling is a sport. Yeah. And then I I met her, and she's a nurse. And it's been it's been awesome ever since. And I can't wait to, yes, spend the rest of my days with this one.
Raheem She's awesome.
Brain Fog and Better Control
Scott Benner That's well, listen, Raheem. That's wonderful, first of all. But tell me the difference between starting a relationship with your blood sugars all over the place and starting your relationship the way you are now. Like, what has that changed for you? How has it made things better?
Raheem Yeah. I'm more coherent now. I'm actually, like people can talk to me, and I can respond where before I was just like, oh, you asked me a question, and it would just dilute in my brain. I would just be like you'd be like, oh, how's the weather today? And I'll be like, yeah.
Raheem I think there's 13 pieces of peanut butter in the drawer. It just didn't make sense. Like, now I actually feel like I can handle a conversation with the person. And, again, growing with my partner now, she's just showing me that, like, look. If you can keep your blood sugars at this, you know, 80 to one ten range, like, your mental capacity is just gonna go through the roof.
Raheem We're trying to do, like, the YouTube thing because, again, I do do a lot of bowling. I'm actually top 20 in the state of Florida as far as the bowler, so that's pretty awesome there. So we're trying to do, like, this YouTube thing in our daily lives and things like that so I can be present into it as opposed to being, like, you know, I don't feel good today or whatever the case may be. I can live my life.
Scott Benner What you're saying is making me think that maybe we haven't dove deep enough yet into what brain fog means. You you know, like, because it's easy to say, like, I felt foggy or I experienced brain fog because those are words that doctors use, like, to, you know, describe high blood sugars. But you're telling me that, like, you could hear something and your response might be disconnected from the question?
Raheem Oh, a 100%. And And then I would even touch in. Like, I would touch in with the like, my partner at the time or whatever. I'd be like, why did they say that to me? And then she would be like, what are you talking about?
Raheem That's not what they said. And I'm like, that's what I heard, and there's even been times where she's recorded me. And she's like, what did you hear? And I'm like, I heard her say this, and she's pulled up the tape. I'm like, that's not what she said at all, is it?
Raheem And I'm like, what did I hear?
Scott Benner You're just all over the place. And that does not happen to you any longer?
Raheem Very rarely. Every once in a while, I do like to go on, like, my little wild tangents once in a while where I do just talk and don't listen, but, very rarely, I would say no.
Scott Benner But you don't think it it when it happens, it's not coming from high blood sugars?
Raheem I could feel it starting to rise. Like, I I do feel that, like, if it's, like, post meal and I'm I didn't bolus correctly or we didn't bolus correctly, then yeah. I mean, when I do feel the spikes coming, I I can feel the fogginess come a little bit. Mhmm. But it's now to a point where I'm like, oh, I feel this way.
Raheem Either I need to go smoke some of that weed. No. I'm just kidding. Or I need to, you know, figure out the blood sugar so I don't get to that point where I can't function.
Scott Benner Yeah. Your note's really simple. It says, I don't remember high school, college, drugs, sex. My current girlfriend is a nurse, and I really wanna be honest about how I feel about the podcast and how I'd like to be more involved with the community. Do you remember writing that?
Raheem No. You
Scott Benner don't remember it? You don't
Raheem Well, the only thing the only reason that I do remember is because I just read it maybe two hours ago. But when I read it, I was like, I don't remember when I sent this. And I remember I actually sent you another email as well like, a couple years ago when I was, like, in a darker spot. I was like, there's no way I sent that. I was like, there there's just no way.
Scott Benner So your don't remember. Your interactions with me like that, I I always took as strange. Like like, I'm in person, you're lovely. Like, so I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared.
Scott Benner But, like, I your emails were weird. Like, it like, a little bit. And Oh, yes. They were. Yeah.
Scott Benner Yeah. Yeah. And to me, it points out that you've been on a pretty significant journey from a from a dark place to where you are now. I I just think it should be celebrated that you've, you know, that you persevered this long through so many different health issues and personal situations, and you actually got to the spot that you meant to be at. I I think that should be uplifting to people, to be perfectly honest, because it was not it's not a linear, like, I made a decision to do better and then better just happened, and now here I am.
Scott Benner Or, you know, like, I listened to the pro tip series, and three months later, I understood how to bolus, and now I'm good. This is more I mean, a lot of fits and starts and probably, I would imagine, like, you know, two steps forward, three steps back situations along the way.
Raheem Exactly. Yeah. It's definitely been a roller coaster. I can't deny that one at all. Yeah.
Raheem Now that I've been going down the right path and everything, like, again, this the daily life is just so much so much clearer now. It's it's it's unbelievable. And I do think, you know, that's actually a really good idea. Maybe I should celebrate this one because, you know, now that we're entering into the New Years and things like that, it's a new year, new me. So maybe that maybe one that I touch with my partner now and see if we can put this onto the table as far as a celebration because I think that would be nice because I have been through a lot.
Scott Benner Yeah. No. I I think it's a I think it's obvious, honestly, to me from my perspective that it's even though it took years and, again, it it wasn't it wasn't a perfect straight line to where you were going, but not giving up is meaningful. And so how do you not give up? Was that you personally?
Scott Benner Do you think that's the people around you, a mixture? I I mean, are your parents alive or involved? Like, where are getting your support from?
Raheem Yeah. Yeah. So my my father has actually passed away. He, at some point again, this may be where the fogginess comes in. At some point, he was diagnosed with type two, but he wasn't, like, a big guy or anything like that.
Raheem They said it was more of, like, stress induced, what I can recall. And then he smoked a lot of cigarettes, he had, like, lung cancer, so he passed away.
Scott Benner Oh, I'm sorry.
Raheem That it happens. But my mom, she lives in a different state. She lives in Mississippi, and she's just kinda doing her thing now, just living her days with her father who is I I I think my grandfather's, like, 92 years old, and I kid you not. I'm not sure what's up with this man, but he just actually stopped cutting his grass. And, I mean, they live in Mississippi.
Raheem A lot of it lot of land. He actually just stopped cutting his grass about three, four months ago now. So, like, I see that his health is finally starting to turn, but, you know, I'm glad that they're all getting long and stuff that I need to go visit. Yeah. Can't find
Scott Benner mom moving weed in Mississippi, or has she moved on to something else?
Raheem You'd be surprised what they do in Mississippi. You think us Floridians are crazy. The Mississippians are the ones you gotta watch out for. I don't think so. I think that's a thing of the past now for her.
Raheem I think now that she's I don't know. I don't wanna sound like a weird TV show, like, build up an empire or anything like that. Now she's just on the second path of, like, her journey or anything. But, no, that was, I guess, a thing back in the eighties and when it was cool, I guess.
Scott Benner She worked a job after that as an adult?
Raheem Couple odd jobs here and there. Nothing like, huge, but, yeah, a couple odd jobs here and there. Like I said, she was a CNA at times. She was I think she take takes care of some, like, older people as well, and she's, getting up there in AIDS. Yeah.
Scott Benner If I gave you an opportunity to tell me what the podcast has meant to you, would you are you able to, like, articulate it?
Raheem What the podcast means to me?
Scott Benner I mean, in your note, you said I want to be I I wanna be honest about how I feel about the podcast. When you wrote that, what do you think you meant?
Raheem I felt a few ways about the podcast. Like so honesty is our best policy here. I thought it was absolutely crazy that somebody could record their voice and get such a following of so many people, to listen in to your message. And then, again, after I started listening, I was like, you know, this guy actually does know what he's talking about. So I was like, you know, that's kinda cool.
Raheem And, I mean, like, the community part of it, I really wanted to, like, make friends. I wanted some diabetes friends because even growing up, like I said, like, my school I mean, I'm sure everyone will eventually find me, but my school was not very large. I was one of maybe 12 African American kids into the school. Mhmm. So there wasn't very many of us, and there definitely wasn't any diabetics back then.
Raheem So growing up, I went to, like, the summer camps, I was always, you know, around the diabetics. I was like, you know, I want friends that are like this. And then when I went to went off to college, I was like, I don't see any around me. Left college. I was like, I rarely see them around me.
Raheem So I was like, I want, like, just diabetes friends. And then, again, like I said, we're doing this the blog thing and stuff like that. So, like, I thought it would be cool just to have some friends, and it's so weird because, like, even YouTube. Right? YouTube has such a weird algorithm that you can't speak about COVID on YouTube Mhmm.
Raheem And you can't speak about diabetes. They will literally almost deep end your channel. It's the weirdest thing. Oh, goodness. My high alert's going off.
Raheem What's that? 01:49. We're okay.
Scott Benner So are you telling me that in the beginning, you were just like, how does somebody, like, make something popular about type one?
Raheem Yeah. That's exactly it.
Scott Benner Okay. Like, you're like, I can't believe that there's an appreciable number of people listening to this so much so that he's got a popular podcast that it had nothing to do with me or anything else. Just the idea that you didn't think that could even exist.
Raheem Yeah. Because there's been times in my life where I'm like, you know, I'm gonna put two hours of, like, mental thoughtness into, like, how I can come up with a don't speak numbers or, like, a really cool idea that's going to, you know, go on Shark Tank or something like that. And I I remember when podcasts were first, like, coming out and things like that, I was like, I could talk about diabetes on a podcast. I know I could. And then three years, four years later, you beat me too.
Raheem And I was like, at least I had the idea. But, I applaud everything that you do for the community. I applaud it all because you're awesome at what you do. But I was like, I could have done this, I think.
Scott Benner Well, it it would have been cool if you tried. I would have enjoyed beating you. Sending you home crying. Okay. No.
Scott Benner I think
Raheem That's what I do to people in the bowling alley is when they see me, they're like, oh, yeah. You know, this kid, he he doesn't look like a bowler. Then I shoot two fifty eight on him and they're like, oh, I just lost $200. And I'm like, yeah.
Scott Benner Guess I gotta go ahead.
Raheem My lights.
Mental Health and Looking Back
Scott Benner My gosh. So do you think you and this new girl will, get married, Ever?
Raheem Very soon.
Scott Benner Oh, you will? You think yes?
Raheem Oh, yeah. Oh. 100%.
Scott Benner Is the plan to have kids, or is the plan we're a little older now, we're just gonna do some different stuff?
Raheem She has a child. She has a teenager, actually, but she can't have any more children because she's had cervical cancer, so she can't have kids.
Scott Benner Oh, I'm sorry.
Raheem Yeah. Again.
Scott Benner You got the three of you live together or no? Not yet?
Raheem We do live together. Yes. Her her son's still in school back at our home county. Mhmm. Because, again, we went to high school, like, grade school together.
Raheem He's living with his father, and he's finishing up high school. That was his decision.
Scott Benner Have you ever had to be, like, a step parent?
Raheem Not so much. Every once in a while, like, I will throw in my 2¢, but, you know, coming into a teenager's life, you know, especially one that's, like, 16 Yeah. It's it's difficult. You know? It's it's difficult just to step into someone's
Scott Benner life like that.
Raheem So I mean, every once in a while, I'll throw my 2¢ in. I don't mind that, but, you know
Scott Benner You gotta stay out of it a little bit unless somebody asks you.
Raheem Yep. Exactly. Yeah.
Scott Benner Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Raheem Yeah. I have two sisters. They're both in New York still, but, yeah, I have two sisters. And, again, I'm not very into, like, the family thing per se. But, yeah, I mean, I still talk to them on Facebook once in a while, but I kinda just do my own thing.
Raheem I'm kind of my own, what do call, lone wolf.
Scott Benner Do you know if they have any autoimmune issues, or do you have any beyond type one?
Raheem What is it? Hyper high blood pressure, no celiac, my sisters. No. They don't really have too much. Maybe a couple of, like, mental health issues.
Raheem But, again, if you were raised in the lifestyle that we were raised, I think mental health is something that we have to go through. But Yeah. I don't think that they have very much. I know, like I said, my my father was diagnosed diabetic at some point in his time, and I know my grandmother on my mom's side was type two as well, but, well, I think I got the lucky straw there.
Scott Benner Do you have any other medical issues that are not, you know, related to diabetes?
Raheem I think I'm a little crazy. What
Scott Benner kind of crazy are you?
Raheem Yeah. Level four. You know? I'm up there. You know?
Raheem I'm living in Florida. I hear all the all the Florida jokes, you know, a couple of podcasts that I've I've heard in in your past as well where you drop those little Florida jokes and things like that. I'm like, yes. That is the ideal Florida situation. I don't I don't think I have too much other health concerns going on.
Raheem Just mostly, like, the diabetes things with, like, the eyes. Yeah. I don't I don't yeah.
Scott Benner Were you being serious about the mental health stuff, or were you joking for yourself?
Raheem I think it was more of a joke. I mean, I do believe that I have a little bit of a I'm sure I could talk to a therapist more about the way that I feel about things, but, I mean, it's more of a I wouldn't say, like, a a joke, but it is, a joke. You know? Something that you can laugh off, but still know that there's a underlying tone there somewhere.
Scott Benner Are you seeing a therapist now, just not frequently?
Raheem Not currently. No? Yeah. The last time I actually saw my therapist was probably 2020.
Scott Benner What were you talking about when you like, what led you just to seek therapy out at that point?
Raheem I believe what led me to find a therapist was I was trying to get my diabetes under control, and I was still, like, resenting it myself. So I was like, why am I feeling like I wanna do it, but I don't wanna do it? And then, again, 2020 with everything that was going on in the world. And, again, I clear as they remember, like, on the news, them being like, if you're African American, if you have high blood pressure, if you have type one diabetes, stay your ass inside. And I was like, I meet all those requirements, so I think I need to go talk to somebody.
Raheem Like, I thought I was in jeopardy of, like, you know
Scott Benner This thing was coming for you directly.
Raheem Yeah. I I thought either that or there was gonna be, like, a a little alien that was gonna come out of the sky, and he's like, oh, yeah. You meet these requirements, we're taking you. And I was like, I don't know how I can deal with that. Yeah.
Raheem I think that's when I first started the therapy thing.
Scott Benner Raheem, if I told you that, like, almost every one of your answers starts with I believe or I think or maybe, is that something you you're aware of about yourself? Like, you you have not answered one question definitively. It's always been, my best recollection. I don't remember that time or anything like that. Like, is that pretty common for you throughout your life, or is that for just in this conversation, you feel pinned down on details?
Raheem No. It's pretty common. Honestly, it is pretty common. So, like, when I used to work for, Universal Mhmm. And I used to do a lot of, like, phone sales and things like that.
Raheem And they always would teach us, like, yes. You have to know the answer, but it's always like, you suspect. You know? It's like, I'm not sure. So it's always that's just always a thing that I've I would, like, put into my brain because I can never be, like, incorrect about anything as opposed to being like, oh, I did this on September 19, you know, 2017.
Raheem I can be like, yeah. I think it was around this time.
Scott Benner Keep it vague so that you're not wrong ever?
Raheem Exactly. So then, you know, you just get the the gist of the story.
Scott Benner I gotcha. That's simple. That's really what what would you want people I mean, you've had this very unique experience. Right? You're diagnosed young.
Scott Benner You've got high blood sugars for a a pretty big part of your life. I'd probably say twenty more maybe more than twenty years. I'm a twenty twenty five years. Right? Like, living with higher blood sugars, not a lot of support from your family, and, you know, going through not wanting to be involved with diabetes, wishing you didn't have it, ignoring it, having high blood sugar so you're not really able to make great decisions to begin with.
Scott Benner And, you know, you find your way through it, you know, luckily, and then you stick to that path once you once it's in front of you and you see it. Is there messaging for other people in your situation? Because, you know, a lot of people listen to this podcast are just gonna hear your story and be like, that's insane. You know what I mean? Like, because they didn't go through what you went through.
Scott Benner But there are also far more people living your life than I think others would imagine. So, I mean, is there a message, you know, from the past through you and your experience that would be valuable for those people?
Raheem Yeah. The biggest thing that I could tell anybody is just keep fighting. Like, you're gonna have some bad days. You're gonna feel like absolute crap some days. But if you just keep fighting, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Raheem Because, again, I'm one that's definitely gone through all the highs and lows, all of the trials and tribulations, not all of them, but a good majority of them.
Scott Benner Right.
Raheem I've seen quite a bit in my time on this planet. Like, it's it's definitely, just wanna just gotta keep pushing through. You know? There's even been there's even been stories, and I'm sure not very many people are gonna be able to tell you this one. I got kicked out of diabetes camp.
The Diabetes Camp Incident
Raheem Wait. Wait. Wait a minute.
Scott Benner As a kid?
Raheem As a kid, I got kicked out of a diabetes camp. Yeah.
Scott Benner How old do you think you are?
Raheem It had to be, like, very early diabetes. Let's see. It had to be before. I would probably say 2,000. Probably 2,000.
Scott Benner Were you selling crack? What happened?
Raheem Hey. Listen. Hey. He he didn't have the money. Okay?
Raheem So he got the product and then, you know, he so things just had to be done. That's I'm joking. I think this kinda stems where my mental health things, like, started, and I realized that it was a problem. But I remember, like, there was this there was this kid. He was picking on me, and I just didn't understand it.
Raheem Like, you know, I told the counselors. I told the supervisors or whoever it was. I was like, yo. I don't know what this kid's problem is. I don't know if it's because I'm faster than him because I was very competitive.
Raheem That's one thing that, like, people will know about me. I'd love to win in sports, and I was just dusting this kid. That's just facts of the matter. And then one day, he was like, hey. I'm gonna hit you.
Raheem And I was like, dude, I don't think that's gonna be a good idea. And I still remember, you know, the the day that my dad told me. He's like, hey, man. If anyone hits you first, wail on them. I'm not saying that anyone should do that.
Raheem If I had kids, I would never support that. But I was like, hey, man. I was like, if you hit me, I was like, I don't think you're gonna be in a good shape afterwards. So he swung, missed, swung the second time, hit me maybe in my shoulder, and all hell broke loose. Again, that's when I knew I was, like, seeing red, and I was just this poor kid.
Raheem I mean, I felt bad for him. In the moment, I even had, like, this moment. I had, like, this whole out of body moment. Like, I was floating above the camp, and I was like, Raheem, you should really stop. He's like, man, but that was a good right hook.
Raheem Maybe he just takes one more. That's fine. So, yeah, they ultimately had to call my parents and come pick me up from diabetes camp because kid wanted to talk stuff.
Scott Benner Do you think that your blood sugars were so out of whack at that point that you had a difficult time? Like, because you've described, right, like, people saying things and you hearing something different. Do you think you were actually having a problem with that kid, or do you think that you were having a problem hearing him?
Raheem No. I think I was having a problem with this kid because, you know, at the diabetes camps again, this is before the the Dexcoms, the omni well, omni Dexcoms may have been a thing then, but not prevalent. But at the camp, they they really had our blood sugars in test. Even though I wasn't all about the testing, if they wanted to test, like, five times a day, I was like, okay. Cool.
Raheem Prick the finger. Let's keep going. Like, whatever. I know my blood sugars were in great shape because, you know, I knew how to do the log books, all that good stuff. I knew that that was perfectly fine.
Raheem He was just talking way too much smack and he found out.
Scott Benner Raheem, I don't know what to say about you.
Raheem I felt bad because No.
Scott Benner No. Not about this. You perplexed me in general. I feel like I'm of I'll tell
Raheem you a good story after this one, though.
Scott Benner Give me a second. I'm of two minds on you. Okay? There's part of me that thinks this is a a great explanation of why you want your blood sugars lower and stable and why you wanna stay on top of your diabetes because look at all the confusion that can cause in your life. Right?
Scott Benner And I mean, like, aside of health, like, physical health stuff, I'm talking a lot about just clarity, you know, understanding the world around you, interacting with people as things are. Like, that stuff is I mean, it's been really impactful on you. And then there's half of me that like, there's and I know this isn't the case because you've been around this whole thing for so long. Right? But there's half of me that thinks that there's some people listening right now that are just like, this guy's full of shit.
Scott Benner And, like, he's making this up because sometimes your timelines are off and stuff like that. And but I don't think that's what's happening. Like, I don't think you're on here just spinning a tail. Like, I think this is your best recollection of how how your life has gone. Can you Yeah.
Scott Benner I'm right, right, on the second part.
Raheem No. You're spot on. Absolutely. I couldn't I couldn't deny that a 100% because if if someone were to tell me this exact same story, I'd go home and I'd be like, that dude is just full of crap. Like, there's there's just no possible way.
Raheem But then when I say I lived it, I believe it, this is my story or what I remember of it Mhmm. This is what it is.
Scott Benner So then help me understand that in the last handful of years when your your a one since c has been more like six and your variability, I'm assuming, is much much less. Right? You're not bouncing to four or 500 anymore, stuff like that.
Raheem Nah. No. Not at all.
Scott Benner So if I would have just asked you questions about the last twenty four months, would you have sounded different?
Raheem Oh, a 100%. It would have probably been very boring and no no high points, no low points. It would have been a very
Scott Benner No crime, and you would have and you would have remembered, like, moments more clearly.
Raheem Yeah. Oh, a 100%.
Scott Benner Ain't that something? I think that what happened to you and the way you're recounting it right now, I don't believe we pay close enough attention to as a society, as, you know, when doctors like, you know what I mean? Like, you I think about, like, think about you with, like, out of control blood sugar, super high blood sugars for a long time. You know, people are talking to you. You're not even hearing what they're saying.
Scott Benner And then a doctor looks at you one day and makes the decision, like, well, this guy's not taking care of himself. So I'm just gonna ask him about his feet when he comes in. And you know what? If he pushes back, screw him. Here's your script.
Scott Benner Don't die. Good luck. But, like, no one's addressing the fact that you're not in the right headspace, the right state of mind that your that your body chemistry is not such that you're in a position to even hear what's being said to you. And that's still ignoring all of the very real human feelings you have about being diagnosed with something that is a lifelong illness. So it just feels on it just feels unfair, and I wish there was a mechanism in place that could help.
Scott Benner But then, you know, the other side of that, of course, is I'm gonna talk myself right out of it. But the other side of of course, is that you're a human being in The United States Of America, and no one's got the right to pin you down and make you do something. But if you were out of your mind, right, the government the the local municipality can put you on a hold and try to get you stabilized again. And I'm not calling for, you know, people with diabetes who have wildly high blood sugars to be, you know, put on a hold, but they're in there. There is some sort of a there's a problem in there that doesn't have an answer because we have you and your autonomy, and then we have mixed in with it, your blood sugars are super high and your inability to reason with yourself because so then my question is, now you today, do you wish somebody would have taken control of you back then and gotten your blood sugars down and stable so you would have been able to understand what was going on better, or are you happy with the way this played out?
Raheem I'm actually quite happy with the way things played out. Like, again, just all the trials and tribulations that I've gone through, I feel that it's just really given me reason to keep fighting to see those bad days, to understand that they're a thing of the past and that we can move forward from because you know? Have you used my name at all?
The Importance of Being Present and The Jenny Story
Scott Benner I mean, I think I've said your name a couple times.
Raheem Yeah. Okay. So, again, I don't like pulling up these cards per se, But as we all know, what happened in 2,001 in September, you know, if you're in seventh grade and you go to school the next day and those kids are like, hey. Your name's Rahim. We don't like you anymore because of, you know, what happened after that.
Raheem Mhmm. That took a huge mental effect on me even as a seventh grader. Like, I didn't understand what was going on. I could even take you back kinda to that day when it was all happening. I remember the low blood sugar that was happening.
Raheem Again, it may be a little off a little bit. Yeah. I can remember that low blood sugar. I can remember I was in the hospital at the time. The hospital was being shut down.
Raheem And, again, maybe it's the Truman Show that's always watching me. I don't know. But I just like the dare the dare project when I was in kindergarten after the two thousand one incident happened, there was a lot of agents that were questioning me. And, again, I lived in the hospital. The hospital shut down, but all these agents wanted to come talk to me.
Raheem There was other people of color, I guess, is the best way I could say that Mhmm. That were there. No questions asked. But why they wanna question me so much? So I think over time, like, I was just always in a weird spot.
Raheem Like, I was always, like, on edge, and then 2020 hit. And I was like, oh, man. No one came and talked to me then. You know, they probably gave up on me. Were like, oh, we got the wrong guy.
Raheem Keep going. But, yeah, I was like, this is just so weird how how all these weird things are happening, and, like, it feels like it's all circled around me. Is it? No. Not at all.
Raheem But, yeah, would I change any of it? Absolutely not. I don't want to have that normal lifestyle. I think that that's kinda strange. I wanna have a story to, I guess, tell my girlfriend's kid because I don't wanna have my own children.
Raheem But, yeah, I think that that's cool to be able to share stories like that and Okay. Go over the things that I thought.
Scott Benner I'm glad to share I'm glad you were able to share that. And so, Raheem, just for context for people, you're a black man, but you're Muslim?
Raheem I'm not Muslim. My father practiced the belief, and I just landed on that name.
Scott Benner Okay. Okay. So your even your dad well, your dad wasn't Muslim, he just kinda leaned into it. Is that what you're telling me?
Raheem Yeah. He just kinda leaned into it, and I don't mind dropping this one. His name's Robert. My mom's name is Deborah, and then they landed on Raheem for me. And I was like, what the hell were y'all smoking?
Scott Benner Bob and Debbie got together and decided on Raheem, did they?
Raheem Yeah. I was like, man, you guys must have been smoking that weird, like, Middle East and opium stuff or something. I don't know. But how did how did you two individuals land on this one? Whatever.
Raheem Bob
Scott Benner and Debbie's little boy, Raheem. That's that's really funny, actually.
Raheem Thing.
Scott Benner Yeah. That's awesome. Well, okay. So you you're not disappointed with your journey then?
Raheem No. Not at all. I am a little bit disappointed with my journey because, again, after I got kicked out of that that diabetes camp, it was probably two, three years ago, I was going to go apply to be a camp counselor because I was like, oh, that was so long ago. Maybe they, like, forgot about it because of my anxiety or whatever it was. I never actually put the application in, but, I was like, you know, that would be kinda cool to be a camp counselor because I know some of these kids may be in kind of the same, what what do you call it, the same
Scott Benner Situation.
Raheem Upbringing that I was in. Yeah. So maybe I could help somebody out or maybe I could, you know, teach a kid how to throw a bowling ball like I do because I'm really good at that. I circle back to that quite often.
Scott Benner Hey. We didn't talk about this, but you just brought up anxiety a little bit. There are only a handful of people who have taken as much time as it's taken you to record. You've been, like, off and on the idea that you were gonna you were gonna be on the podcast. I I mean, I'm guessing now because I don't listen.
Scott Benner I I don't remember exactly, but, I mean, have you and I been at this for a couple of years now?
Raheem Yeah. It's definitely been years. Oh, yeah. Because I get I get these really high points where I'm like, oh, I can do it. I can conquer the world.
Raheem I'm gonna message this guy. I'm gonna do it. And then the next week, I'm like, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't think this is gonna be good. I don't want people to hear this story.
Raheem Like, I don't know what I'm gonna talk about. So then I just go ghost for a little while, and then, again, I have that high point coming again. Oh, I can do this. I can do this. I know I can talk to them.
Raheem I can talk about this. I can talk about that. Two weeks later, I'm like, I probably shouldn't.
Scott Benner Yeah. I should tell people that when I sat down this morning and flipped this on so I open up a file that, you know, I'm gonna record your my voice into in a piece of software. So I get that open. I name it for you. I get it saved.
Scott Benner I get it ready to go. I open up Zoom, which is what I use to connect for the audio. And even if you're in the waiting room, it takes about thirty to forty seconds for Zoom to, like, deliver you to me where I can hit admit. Right? And let and let the person in.
Scott Benner And in that time, what I normally do is, like, I'll answer an email or I'll, like, you know, get my stuff together or whatever I'm doing clear off my desk, get my drinking. With you, I clicked that button and I stared at that screen because I thought it's a coin flip if he's here or not. I would not have been surprised if it just never gave me the opportunity to admit somebody because you weren't there. And when you were there, I thought, good for you, man, and then I clicked the button because I really didn't I wasn't sure you were gonna be here or not.
Raheem Yeah. And I do know I have a little bit of, like I chime in to the Facebook group every once in a while when I'm on those high points, then, like, I see the messages and I see the the notifications going off. And, like, that really puts me onto that high level, and I'm like, wow. People are actually responsive to me. Like, they will respond.
Raheem Mhmm. So, like, I was just you know, my girlfriend is kinda who talked me into it. She was like, look. You've already signed up for it. Like, you have to do it.
Raheem And truth be told, I remember if you look at the first email let me see. I think you said in the email, you're like, I have October available. And I was like, no. I'm not doing that. I'm gonna set mine for January because I need time to get my, like, stress levels under control.
Raheem So I was like, I'm not doing October because that's only in, like, two weeks. Like, that that doesn't work for me.
Scott Benner I've listen. I'm proud of you. I think this is awesome that you that you followed through and you did it. I mean, you were terrific. Like, do you feel good about what we did?
Scott Benner I mean, we're done. But, like, do you feel good about it?
Raheem I feel really good about it. If I could tell you one last thing, and this is gonna be about, miss miss miss Jenny Smith.
Scott Benner Oh, about Jenny? Okay.
Raheem Yeah. I don't know if she's gonna recall or not. I don't know if she listens to all the episodes either. I don't know when it was when you came to Orlando. I just wanna paint this little picture.
Raheem If you guys, you know, come to the the Touched by Type one. I did a little bit of work with Touched by Type one and the other organization that's in Orlando as well. They're really cool people. They they host the best events. They really do.
Raheem But, we were at Rose and no. Not Rose And Shingle Creek. Which was the other one that you did at the Disney property?
Scott Benner They bounced around between a couple different ones. I'm not sure which one it would have been.
Raheem Either way. You're at the Disney property. It's, like, probably the first time that we met, and I still remember I was just getting off of work. I don't know if you recall the picture. I was in my suit, blue suit, nice red tie, looking fresh.
Raheem You know? I remember sitting down with this kid, this random worker at at the lunch table because, you know, you guys are feeding us. And I'm just asking this kid questions. Hey. How long have you been working here?
Raheem How long have been doing this? He stops me right then. He's like, my man. He's like, how much money do you make? And I'm like, what are you talking about?
Raheem I was like, I probably don't make much more money than you. He's like, dude. He's like, you're so, you know, looking all dapper and looking all fresh. He's like, you easily make 150, $200,000 a year. I was like, man, I work for Universal.
Raheem Like, we're in the same pool here. Alright? He was like, wow. I never would have thought that. Cool.
Raheem He goes about his business, whatever. So I'm sitting at the big circle table all by myself, having a great time. Right? I hear this lady talking to me. She's like, oh, do you mind if me and my family sitting with you?
Raheem And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Come on. Sit down. Have fun. I'm not sure if she was just trying to be a marketer or if she just saw how dressed up I was, but that was the first time I met Jenny because I was kinda late getting to the conference because I had to work.
Raheem So she's like, oh, she's like you know, she's just striking up all these conversations, and I'm like, wait a minute. I was like, I recognize your voice. And she's like, I'm Jenny. Jenny Smith.
Raheem And I was like, get the heck out of here. I was like, you know, you're always on the podcast and stuff like that. Was like, I'm a huge listener. I love Jenny Tadesh. The way she can articulate her words, absolutely amazing.
Raheem But I swear, in that moment, I think she saw something in me that she was like, this kid's not high profile at all. I don't think he's gonna be able to I don't know if they take, like, donations or whatever it was, but then the whole conversation shift. It was just the coolest thing. You could see it all in her face. I think I ended up helping her getting her express passes for yeah, express
Scott Benner pass Jenny doesn't have anything to do with the actual organization. I I can't imagine she would have been trying to get a donation from you. Like, that's not a thing she does, but the rest of it sounds nice. I she definitely would not be hitting you up for a donation. Are you sure it was her for sure?
Scott Benner Not like somebody from the org?
Raheem Oh, a 100%. Yeah. She gave her a business card, I did, like, text her because I helped her out with, like, express passes or whatever it was. But, yeah, definitely. I have a business card somewhere floating around.
Scott Benner Well, listen. Trust me. She wasn't trying to get a donation from you. She's just there doing a job like everybody else.
Raheem A 100%.
Scott Benner Talk. Yeah. Yeah.
Raheem And I didn't you know, again, I listened to a few episodes here and there, and I know she's talking about the the boys and things like that. And, like, as I'm eating, I'm just, you know, scrolling on TikTok or Facebook, whatever it was. And, again, in my head, in my perspective, you could just see, like, this this change in her. And, again, that's not probably what happened. That's just the way I saw it, per se.
Raheem But I I that was probably just one of the most funniest things I I'd ever seen in my life, especially because, like, my girlfriend, again, she's a nurse, and sometimes she does have, I guess, like, sell a product or whatever. But she's a nurse, so she's like, I can take care of people. I may not be able to sell something per se. So then, like, you know, now that I look back onto it, I'm like, I wonder what Jenny Smith was doing back then. I know that wasn't the case.
Raheem I know that. But
Scott Benner Yeah. You would surprise me. Jenny's not a salesperson. That's for sure.
Raheem Anyway probably just sitting by myself, and every other table was full. So she was like, I need to buy suit with this kid or I'm about to sit on the floor.
Scott Benner Oh, maybe she liked your suit. Yeah. Alright. Raheem, this was really lovely. I I'm I'm very happy for you that things are going in different direction, and I'm very pleased that you were able to actually come on today and share, and answer questions and and make your story a part of the podcast.
Scott Benner So thank you very much for your time. I can't I can't thank you enough, actually.
Raheem You are very welcome. And then next time, we'll see how we're going with the wedding plans, we'll have our next update.
Scott Benner Absolutely. It's been a pleasure. Good for you. Hold on one second for me. I will, let me talk to you after I hit stop.
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