#1169 Damsel, Not in Distress

"Damsel" was diagnosed after her pregnancy. WARNING: Episode contains conversation about physical, mental and sexual abuse. 

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1169 of the Juicebox Podcast.

In today's episode, the person I'm interviewing will remain anonymous, but we're going to call her damsel. Damsel is 31 years old. She's had type one diabetes for just a couple of years. And there are three previous generations of type one in her family. damsel was originally diagnosed with type two diabetes. She has seizures, with something they call idiopathic epilepsy. And I need to warn you that there's going to be conversations about abuse, both at the hands of her father and an ex partner. She's going to talk about having been raped. So please be careful while you're listening. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cosy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cosy earth.com if you have type one diabetes or you are the caregiver of someone with type one, please take the survey AT T one D exchange.org/juice. Box it takes 10 minutes and you'll be helping with type one research T one D exchange.org/juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing together people who are redefining what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Mark he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 28. He's 47. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. And then at the very end of the episode, you can hear my entire mini interview with Mark. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community or to share your own story. Visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box and check out the Medtronic champion hashtag on social media. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by ever since the ever since CGM is more convenient requiring only one sensor every six months. It offers more flexibility with its easy on Easy Off smart transmitter and allows you to take a break when needed ever since cgm.com/juicebox. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox

"Damsel" 2:42
Hi, I'm damsel.

Scott Benner 2:45
You're type one. Yes, you do. How old? were you when you were diagnosed?

"Damsel" 2:49
It was only a couple of years ago. So I think I was like 28. Okay, 29.

Scott Benner 2:55
What are you now? 31? Ish? Yes. Okay. Was it a surprise? Meaning do you see any type one in your family or other autoimmune stuff in your family? It

"Damsel" 3:08
was not a surprise to me. It was a surprise to my doctor. I'm a fourth generation type one. So

Scott Benner 3:14
have that surprise your doctor? That's funny. He did. Did he know your family history? Or she?

"Damsel" 3:22
No, she didn't really know. I didn't know at the time that that was super relevant. So I was diagnosed as type two at first.

Scott Benner 3:32
I see. And how long did that go on before? Well, I guess first tell me who like in your family line. Who else has type one? There's three others?

"Damsel" 3:40
Yeah. Like a great uncle, my late grandfather, my aunt, and then me.

Scott Benner 3:48
Well, how about does your mom have any mom or dad have any autoimmune stuff like celiac or thyroid stuff? Yeah,

"Damsel" 3:55
my mom has low thyroid. That's probably Hashimotos. Okay.

Scott Benner 4:01
So the people that you talked about great uncle, that kind of stuff. They are on your mom's side?

"Damsel" 4:07
Yes. Okay. Got it.

Scott Benner 4:10
So, what was your first symptom? What got you thinking something was wrong?

"Damsel" 4:15
Well, my symptoms started when I was a lot younger. When I was 16 or 17. I started having seizures. So I think it started with like hypoglycemia, or at least like a big crash.

Scott Benner 4:30
You were having seizures when you were 16. Was that ever diagnosed? Like did a doctor ever tell you what they thought it was? Oh,

"Damsel" 4:37
yeah, they thought it was idiopathic epilepsy. Oh,

Scott Benner 4:41
epilepsy that they can't explain. Yes. How lovely. And did that go on for long? Yeah,

"Damsel" 4:48
that went on until I got pregnant with my daughter and then ended up on insulin at that time for a short time.

Scott Benner 4:57
Oh, how old were you when you got pregnant? 20 525 So you had these seizures that nobody could explain for nine years? Yeah. So, and then when you were pregnant, you got gestational diabetes.

"Damsel" 5:11
I mean, that's what they thought when I was 19. I got some blood work done. And my agency was like, 6.4. And they were like, you're really young to be pre diabetic. I wonder what's going on here. And then just kind of brushed it aside.

Scott Benner 5:27
So do you think you had Lada for all that time? Like the slow onset type one where you? It's sort of your body's still fighting the fight, but it's, it's going the wrong way? No one's ever said that to you before. Hmm.

"Damsel" 5:42
In, in a sense, but I mean, I was under 21 When this really started happening. So yeah. Is it Lada? Is it type one with a weird presentation? I don't know. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:53
I mean, something that takes that long, I think falls into the latter category, but neither here nor there. So you're 25 pregnant using insulin, but then when the pregnancy ends, they take you off the insulin. Yeah,

"Damsel" 6:06
cuz I was back to like a 6.4. But I was also like, eating nothing. And

Scott Benner 6:13
then when you're finally diagnosed, you know, with type one are known, I guess they they started looking at it as type two first.

"Damsel" 6:21
Right. Then we went to all the type two meds, Metformin, that kind of stuff. Yeah. All the way up to the one that starts with the with an A, that they really don't like to use because it causes liver issues.

Scott Benner 6:35
What do you know what it's called? Oh, gosh, like,

"Damsel" 6:38
I can't remember. I'm

Scott Benner 6:40
now going to test my googling skills. Ready. Watch this. If we get this amazing diabetes, is it a pill? Yes. Okay. diabetes pill? Liver. Nothing within a popped up. Dammit. I had such high hopes for that. I don't know why. Shoot. Okay. I don't think we're gonna find it that way.

"Damsel" 7:06
All right. Oh, I'd have to look it up. Yeah, they didn't call it all records. But

Scott Benner 7:10
they didn't call it an anti diabetic drug. Did they?

"Damsel" 7:15
I don't, I don't remember. Okay, that's fine.

Scott Benner 7:16
It's the only thing that popped up here. So okay, so you treat that way for a while, that's obviously not the case. Eventually, you get a type one diagnosis? Did you go into DKA? Or did things just get like, more and more difficult to manage the way you were doing it? You

"Damsel" 7:29
know, I think I had a few bouts of it. Like when I got pregnant, and then was diagnosed as gestational. And then other times when I was sick, but you know, not knowing is like, if it's mild, you know, like, like, go to the hospital. Just, you know,

Scott Benner 7:47
can you describe a little bit what it's like to live in that kind of like Limbo with your health, not really, knowing what's going on treatments aren't doing what they're supposed to do? And you still go on?

"Damsel" 7:57
Oh, gosh, I mean, I didn't really go on it was almost entirely disabling. Tell me. Yeah, I mean, I would work part time and, you know, just try to cover things up or not say anything about it until, you know, you're eligible for FMLA and accommodations and everything. You know, kind of build a rapport before, you know, I see. Hopefully they find out. See, see you're there's been a few times where Yeah, I passed out or had a seizure from what I now know is low blood sugar. And I've been fired.

Scott Benner 8:35
That's crazy, isn't it? Like? So you're getting low blood sugar just on like, oral medications?

"Damsel" 8:42
Well, yes. When I was on oral medications, but I mean, even before I was diagnosed, where I was having that rash for some weird reason, and then going into the seizures, yeah,

Scott Benner 8:54
sorry. I never, you know, people bring this up. Sometimes the having seizures. They, it feels like low blood sugar, but they're, they eventually become type one, but they weren't then or they weren't using insulin. We never come to a real good answer about how that happens. It's um, it's really something I keep waiting for somebody to be like a doctor explained it to me, but doesn't seem to happen that much.

"Damsel" 9:16
Yeah, well, there's one. There's one antibody where it causes you to have hypoglycemia first. And then that can trigger the others from my understanding.

Scott Benner 9:27
Wow, okay. That's a decent expert who told you about that? Dr. Google. He knows everything except for that medicine we were looking for earlier that he didn't know about. today's podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Boasting a six month sensor. The Eversense CGM offers you these key advantages. Distinct on body vibe alerts with higher low a consistent and exceptional accuracy over a six month period. And you only need two sensors per year. No loss longer will you have to carry your CGM supplies with you. You won't have to be concerned about your adhesive not lasting, accidentally knocking off a sensor or wasting a sensor when you have to replace your transmitter. That's right. There's no more weekly or bi weekly hassles of sensor changes. Not with the ever sent CGM. It's implantable and it's accurate ever since cgm.com/juicebox. The Eversense CGM is the first and only long term CGM ever since sits comfortably right under the skin and your upper arm and it lasts way longer than any other CGM sensor. Never again will you have to worry about your sensor falling off before the end of its life. So if you want an incredibly accurate CGM that can't get knocked off, and won't fall off. You're looking for the ever since CGM ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Right now, we're going to hear from a member of the Medtronic champion community. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes.

Speaker 1 11:04
And this is Mark. I use injections for about six months. And then my endocrinologist at a navy recommended a pump. How long

Scott Benner 11:11
had you been in the Navy? Eight years up to that point? I've interviewed a number of people who have been diagnosed during service and most of the time they're discharged. What happened to you?

Speaker 1 11:21
I was medically discharged. Yeah, six months after my diagnosis. Was

Scott Benner 11:25
it your goal to stay in the Navy for your whole life? Your career? It was Yeah,

Speaker 1 11:29
yeah. In fact, I think a few months before my diagnosis, my wife and I had that discussion about, you know, staying in for the long term. And, you know, we've made the decision despite all the hardships and time away from home, that was what we

Scott Benner 11:41
loved the most. Was the Navy, like a lifetime goal of yours?

Speaker 1 11:45
lifetime goal. I mean, as my earliest childhood memories, were flying, being a fighter pilot,

Scott Benner 11:51
how did your diagnosis impact your lifelong dream?

Speaker 1 11:54
It was devastating. Everything I had done in life, everything I'd worked up to up to that point was just taken away in an instant. I was not prepared for that at all. What does your support system look like? friends, your family caregivers, you know, for me, the Medtronic champions community, you know, all those resources that are out there to help guide away but then help keep abreast on you know, the new things that are coming down the pike. And to give you hope for eventually, that we can find a cure.

Scott Benner 12:20
Stick around at the end of this episode to hear my entire conversation with Mark. And you can hear more stories from Medtronic champions and share your own story at Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box. Okay, so what leads you to the absolute type one diagnosis?

"Damsel" 12:38
Let's see, I was having terrible periods. I would go really low and I was just bleeding profusely, all the time. That alone would make me pretty unsteady on my feet, sometimes pass out. So we were trying to see if I would be eligible for a hysterectomy. And they're like, Well, you know, your blood sugar is over 6.5 for the A one C. So right now you're not eligible. You need to go see an endocrinologist and get this under control.

Scott Benner 13:13
This is after you've had babies your periods like this. Yes. Okay. Any day Have you looked into it? I mean, PCOS hormonal imbalance has anything like that turned up?

"Damsel" 13:27
Yeah. Now they checked all my hormones, and they were fine. And they even did a biopsy of my uterus and didn't find anything. tissue around when they were in there. They didn't find anything. They call

Scott Benner 13:42
it unremarkable. Yeah, or your period. That's really helpful, isn't it? You go through a whole procedure and come out there like we didn't find anything. Great. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Are your periods still like that today? Well, I

"Damsel" 13:56
don't have uterus anymore. So I don't physically have a period. I still need to use less Basal insulin around that time of the month. But it's like, when is that actually happening? I don't know.

Scott Benner 14:09
So well. So you did end up eventually having a hysterectomy? Yes. Did that fix your problem? Yeah,

"Damsel" 14:16
it's been great. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:19
That's a really bold step to have to take. So you really were without answers for a while. If you if you were doing that, I imagine.

"Damsel" 14:25
Yeah, I was without answers for maybe a year. I had already had my tubes removed, because people are crazy for having more than one kid. No offense.

Scott Benner 14:39
So you were trying to like, address the heavy periods. And they started with removing your fallopian tubes. No,

"Damsel" 14:48
that was totally elective. Oh, okay. I signed up to have that done. And I got it done like 15 hours after my daughter was born.

Scott Benner 14:56
Oh, no kidding. I don't know that. I've heard that before. Is that a procedure that has The mean,

"Damsel" 15:00
just removing the fallopian tubes.

Scott Benner 15:04
And that's strictly for, like, pregnancy stuff.

"Damsel" 15:08
Yeah, that was so I wouldn't get pregnant again. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 15:13
You didn't enjoy being pregnant? No,

"Damsel" 15:16
definitely not. And, you know, because I didn't know what was going on before with the, with the seizures and stuff is like, I was like, you know, right now I can only work part time how am I going to have more than one kid and support that off of, you know, part time because I spent nine years essentially thinking that that was going to happen to me where, you know, I just be in this unknown, somewhat disabled, what working state

Scott Benner 15:51
and damsel told me like you said this earlier, I didn't take into it. But you were having such trouble, like existing, that you'd get little part time jobs and try to hold on to them long enough that you could get FMLA because you knew you couldn't keep up going to work. Is that right? Yeah. And how about today? How are you feeling today? Well,

"Damsel" 16:10
today, I've been in construction for, like, three years now. And I've had different employers, but it's all been full time. Good for you.

Scott Benner 16:22
What kind of work do you do?

"Damsel" 16:24
I'm a laborer. So, right now, I when I go back to work anyway, I will do everything the carpenters feel like they're too good to do.

Scott Benner 16:35
How am I? But But I mean, that's, that's, that's hard work. And you're not having any trouble with it. Right?

"Damsel" 16:42
Yeah, when I have access to Dexcom is great. You know, if I do end up going a little low, I like to call it at 80 in that environment, then, you know, I get to get off the ladder or the platform or get off the machinery. And, you know, just make sure you're eating candy and and find something a little bit more mundane to do.

Scott Benner 17:12
So is this seasonal work? Because you said when I go back to work, and I know some people who do work like this. So some there's times a year where it falls off. Are you in that spot now?

"Damsel" 17:21
I took a voluntary layoff to spend time with my daughter. She was having a really hard time transitioning to kindergarten. So I just wanted to be there to you know, get her ready and then fully support her while she makes the transition. Yeah,

Scott Benner 17:40
well, yeah. Well, that's That's lovely. And it was available. So it was easy to do. I guess that's that's not bad. Are you married or divorced, separated?

"Damsel" 17:48
Never married? Never

Scott Benner 17:49
married? Are you co parenting with somebody? Are you a single mom? I'm single. Yeah. Your daughter's with you full time? Yes. Okay. How do you handle that when she's that young, and you have to go to work centers or there's,

"Damsel" 18:03
I'm in the Seattle area. And there's a bunch of like in home and 24/7 daycares. Yeah. And you're able to do that. Yeah. So I'm able to be super flexible and nice. You know, she's got kids of all ages. She gets to make friends with and

Scott Benner 18:23
it's nice, but she didn't like go into kindergarten.

"Damsel" 18:26
I wouldn't say that, I think because I had this just kind of wild schedule for raising somebody so young. She didn't get to go to preschool.

Scott Benner 18:39
I say so it was just from like daycare. Or maybe it's a little like Lord of the Flies right into like, structure. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. She's like, wait, I get to sit here the whole day. You kidding me? I get that. I still wouldn't be good at that. By the way. If I didn't have this job specific job to do. If you sat me at this desk, and you were like, just stay here for logic. I gotta go. I can't just say, if I didn't have something to do that I knew was very important. I'd have trouble too. So how long did it take her to kind of work through it?

"Damsel" 19:09
Well, she's she's still working through it. But you know, this week, I'm hoping she'll make it to all of her classes.

Scott Benner 19:18
Gotcha. No, I'm glad you're able to be with her and try to get it worked out. Yeah, that's really nice. So you reached out to be on the show for a specific reason. But then right before we started talking, you were like, we might not talk about that so much. So tell me what it is you want to talk about?

"Damsel" 19:33
Well, I feel like it maybe it might be more helpful to talk about, you know, losing your housing and being homeless and like, actually fleeing domestic violence.

Scott Benner 19:45
Well, yeah, I didn't realize that any of that had happened to you. So tell me about that. Where did where did that issue start?

"Damsel" 19:51
Well, you know, definitely not the first time that I've been homeless but right now, me and my daughter are in a and emergency shelter.

Scott Benner 20:01
Okay. Where were you prior to that?

"Damsel" 20:04
Before that we were car for how long? Um, I want to say a week and a half, maybe two weeks.

Scott Benner 20:14
Okay, and where were you before you had to move into your car? Yeah, I

"Damsel" 20:19
had gotten a roommate, and she thought she could leave her ex, that she ended up reconciling with him and is very abusive. And I just, I can't have that around my daughter. And it's, it's very, very hard to kick somebody out in Washington State. Okay. So I ended up choosing to leave a lie,

Scott Benner 20:45
say, okay, so you in this really no backup plan. You and this woman we're going to we're going to room together and that's how you're going to be able to handle things but then she brings her abusive partner back in into your home. Yes. Oh, and then you bugged out because of that. Right. And you've been the victim of abuse in the past. Yes. Is that with your your baby's father or somebody else? Yes, that's That's right. Yeah. So you guys weren't together for a while? Yeah,

"Damsel" 21:15
maybe six years on and off you know, it takes a while to to leave for again.

Scott Benner 21:24
Was it abusive the entire time?

"Damsel" 21:27
It was great the first year maybe year in three months? You know and then after after that, you know, they don't have to keep up such a facade you know, he

Scott Benner 21:40
felt comfortable stop pretending that that's not who he was and then this if this is difficult, like I'm I'm adjusting on the fly here damsel because I didn't know this was like in your notes. This wasn't in your notes. But so if I say something that's insensitive or you know, hard for you, please just stop me. What does the abuse look like? Is it verbal? Is it physical? Is it a mix, if you take insulin or sulfonylureas you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most. Be ready with G voc hypo pen. My daughter carries G voc hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar and people with diabetes ages two and above that I trust. Low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, G voc hypo pan can be administered in two simple steps even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you storage evoke hypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use Chivo Capo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why G voc hypo pen is in Ardens diabetes toolkit at G voc glucagon.com/juicebox. G voc shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma. Or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma. Visit G voc glucagon.com/risk For safety information.

"Damsel" 23:14
Definitely a mix. And I'd say like a like a build up. I don't know I guess if you imagine the abuse cycle where you know things are okay. Then there's some sort of argument or escalation, the abuse happens. And then there's back to like honeymoon, reconciliation, love bombing. And it just kind of repeats like that. But it's more like a spiral than a true cycle because the abuse keeps getting more intense. And then the love bombing and reconciliation gets less intense. Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:53
The first time it happens when there's something abusive that happens and then all of a sudden, it's I'm sorry, and I love you and all that stuff. Do you think oh, it's just a mistake the first time? Or are you immediately like there's something really wrong here, but I'll try again.

"Damsel" 24:09
For me, I think the first time it got to the realm of physical, he had broken some glass I think it was a bottle of alcohol to try and intimidate me.

Scott Benner 24:24
Like in the movies like crack it on the side of the counter thing or just or just against the wall. Oh, I see like make a big loud sound. I got you good. I'm sorry. i Sorry. I had a ridiculous image in my head and I'm cracking the bottle in the corner and go and I'll stick Yeah. So like a bed 70s film or something but Okay, so just like violence to try to like capture the moment throws this glass. Yeah,

"Damsel" 24:47
you just was talking down to me and just literally mean making me feel awful and scared. So I did leave for the night. But you know, he got in contact with me and was like, Oh, I love you. I'm not going to do that again, it really wasn't that serious. You know, maybe you're not remembering this right?

Scott Benner 25:14
Oh, that's nice. Was this before after your daughters born?

"Damsel" 25:19
Before before?

Scott Benner 25:21
Okay. Is it safe to say you didn't get pregnant on purpose?

"Damsel" 25:24
No, definitely not. Because

Scott Benner 25:28
his actions and the fact that you ended up having a baby and you weren't planning on it, that have a lot to do with why you had the procedure to stop yourself and be able to get pregnant again? Or is that more about your health stuff?

"Damsel" 25:40
Hmm, that's a really deep question. I'd say it was more for myself. You know, at that time, I just didn't know if I'd be able to support another kid. And, you know, wasn't super interested in doing that. And it was like, you know, at this point, no one's gonna change change my mind about it. It was just, you know, if I get pregnant again, I'm gonna cry the whole time.

Scott Benner 26:11
Can I ask in that time, before your pregnancy? Were there drugs or alcohol mixed with this? Or was it just purely the violent stuff?

"Damsel" 26:19
Yeah, there was some alcohol from from time to time. But you know, he chose to be this way.

Scott Benner 26:27
How long did you know him before you were together?

"Damsel" 26:30
Maybe six months?

Scott Benner 26:32
How old? were you when you got together?

"Damsel" 26:34
I was 18.

Scott Benner 26:36
Is there something in your background growing up that makes it understandable that you were like, I don't know. I don't want to say so. I'm not trying to say you sought out like this kind of person. But like that makes you gravitate to this situation? Like, is there something that happened to you when you were younger?

"Damsel" 26:53
Yeah, that's that's called what is it called, is called RE victimization?

Scott Benner 26:59
You did have a problem when you were younger, as well.

"Damsel" 27:01
Yes.

Scott Benner 27:02
Are you able to tell me about that?

"Damsel" 27:04
I mean, I will, I won't get a whole lot into it. But yeah, I did experience some of you says, As a child,

Scott Benner 27:11
describe the roller coaster ride between you leaving you getting housing with a friend. And you being in your car? What's the length of time from start to from the first step of that to where you are now?

"Damsel" 27:26
Oh, my gosh.

Scott Benner 27:30
Quite some time, months, years? Yeah,

"Damsel" 27:33
I'd say almost a decade because, you know, I, I would try to get away from him multiple times and just always

Scott Benner 27:42
came back. You came back or he came back?

"Damsel" 27:45
Both, you know, he'd leave and come back or I'd, I'd leave and then he seek me out. And I'd agree to come back.

Scott Benner 27:54
Can you tell me what the what was the thing that pushed you to take him back or to go back when those things happened? You

"Damsel" 28:01
know, it was very comforting and I felt very loved when he wanted to reconcile and the results to the gaslighting like maybe you're not remembering this right? Or, you know, that's not what happened. I remember it happening this way. So it was like, Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I just left him because I lost I just lost it. You know? And that worried me it was me

Scott Benner 28:28
back gaslighting works. You do find yourself questioning your your sense of it. Oh, yeah, it's

"Damsel" 28:33
very real. Okay.

Scott Benner 28:35
I'm sorry. Did you ever hit your daughter? No.

"Damsel" 28:38
So I got pregnant kind of in the middle of me leaving, I went to go get my things. And he was drinking and just talking in circles and trying to get me to be with him and just really wouldn't let me leave. And at the end of it, he sexually assaulted me.

Scott Benner 29:01
I say, well, that's difficult. I mean, in the moment, obviously, but I assume moving forward. Are you able to separate that event from who your daughter is in your relationship with her or is that hard?

"Damsel" 29:14
It took a lot of therapy. Probably a year before I could really separate it. But at the same time, I was also very bonded with her like it didn't stop from having a healthy relationship with my child. Did

Scott Benner 29:32
you ever consider having an abortion? No, no, that's not something you would do no matter what. At the

"Damsel" 29:39
at the time. No. Now, you know not to get too political but now that Roe v Wade is is is overturned, I'm seeing some of the situations and the fallout to where like, is absolutely necessary or, you know, almost necessary. So in in those situations today? Absolutely.

Scott Benner 30:06
So I have a difficult question that I don't know the answer to I'm not even sure if it's a good question. But is there? I don't know. I don't doesn't sound like you have a comparison. I'm thankful for that. But I'm finding myself wondering, is the being sexually abused? I mean, you're, you're talking about being raped by him. Right. Right. Right. When it's a person, you know, would it be different if it was somebody I knew versus somebody I didn't know. And I don't know why I'm asking. But I'm wondering if that had any impact on how you dealt with the pregnancy and moving forward, etc?

"Damsel" 30:42
Yeah, I can't, I can't say that. I know. And I think it would really be more individual.

Scott Benner 30:51
You see what I'm like, kind of getting at though, like, I mean, it's horrible in the obvious. I mean, I've never experienced that. But I miss imagining it's horrible in the moment, obviously, in the aftermath of it, it's probably terrible. But when you're weeks and months down the line from it. Is there a part of your brain that's like, well, you know, I've had sex with this guy before, like, is like, didn't you mean? Like, does your brain start making up excuses for why it's not so horrible? I guess that's my question.

"Damsel" 31:19
Yes, I, that's what happened to me anyway.

Scott Benner 31:25
That's kind of what I was imagining. Because then it's, I can see how your brain could try to make you feel better by kind of telling you those things. You know what I'm saying? Right? Maybe that's a just a thing to protect yourself, but which your body does a lot of things to protect you. So maybe that's actually helpful. If you can afford a place to live right now? How are you managing your diabetes supplies and raising your daughter? How do you do that stuff? Well,

"Damsel" 31:53
right now, I'm MDI, I'm working on getting things. Okay, with with the pharmacy, so I can get the Omni pod five. And, you know, once the pharmacy figures that out, there's like a Health Savings Program or something through Omni pod, okay, where if you have insurance, they can pick up the slack, essentially, for a year.

Scott Benner 32:21
Okay. And kind of help you get on your feet a little bit. Right? Is that the play? Like, are you trying to get your own place? Or do you need another roommate?

"Damsel" 32:29
I will be getting my own place. Good for you. If I was working, you know, I probably would have been in a hotel for for a month and you know, gotten a place right off the bat. But now, it's been so long to where I need to wait to get good enough pay stubs. Yeah.

Scott Benner 32:47
How old's your daughter now? I'm sorry. She's what? Five? Yes. Yeah. How do you explain the VA living in the car part? Do you turn it into a game? Or how do you handle that?

"Damsel" 32:59
Yeah, I told her, you know, our home became unsafe. And so we had to leave and it's not her fault. And that we were gonna go camping for a little while.

Scott Benner 33:13
That a big car, or you guys really smashed in there?

"Damsel" 33:16
No, it's a it's a sedan. Okay.

Scott Benner 33:18
And then, but it didn't last long. Because you're in a shelter now. Is that right? Right.

"Damsel" 33:22
Yeah. And it's not what you would imagine a shelter being this is like a set of three log cabins, like, deep in the woods outside of Seattle. It's very nice. Like, each place is like 5000 square feet or something. Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 33:43
It's like a charity or like, how does that set up?

"Damsel" 33:45
Yeah, it's a setup. Like, I guess, like a regular house. You know, it's just a log cabin. And there's different rooms for that meet different needs for the families like my room came furnished with dressers and two beds, and it even has a crib in it. For some reason. I think it's just harder to move the crib than to

Scott Benner 34:09
tell somebody there's gonna be a crib in your room even though you don't need it. Well, who pays for that though, like, who sets this all up?

"Damsel" 34:14
Is through a nonprofit? So, you know, they get various grants, and

Scott Benner 34:21
it's wonderful. It really is lovely. Do you do you have an amount of time you're allowed to stay or is it until you can get yourself going? Most

"Damsel" 34:29
shelters there will be you know, some sort of like time limit or expectation. This one is kind of like as as long as you need but they have a whole program. So you know, they do case management once a week. And then twice a week they have like, what they call a goals meet up. So you're not just sitting there doing nothing. You're you're working on getting stability and then working on getting housing.

Scott Benner 34:57
Can I ask you I almost say, can I ask you a personal question? But that seems silly after all this. They've all been pretty personal questions. How much money if it fell out of the sky? would change your situation? Well,

"Damsel" 35:11
for me, near Seattle and wanting to stay in Seattle, maybe $1,500? What would that money do? Yeah, that would, will make it easier to buy insulin, for sure. But it also be a good start to a deposit. And first month's rent. Okay,

Scott Benner 35:32
how much is that the first month's rent and the deposit? You know, it

"Damsel" 35:35
varies, the deposits are a lot lower here. They're like three or $400 for some reason. And then the rent can be as low as like, 1500. Okay, but you know, I do have a little savings. And I've been kind of living off that.

Scott Benner 35:50
Yeah. When are you heading back to the job site?

"Damsel" 35:53
Early, early October, just a week or two?

Scott Benner 35:56
How you're getting there? Okay. I'm just trying to give some context to it. Because everybody, when everyone imagines money, and what it takes to do a thing, they imagine it from their situation? You don't I mean, like, how much would it take them to get into a place where those numbers can just greatly vary? It's interesting. It's just, I find it interesting. And I appreciate you answering the question. Thank you. Do you ever see yourself dating again, or trying to find a partner is? Or is that something you're very sour on? Oh, no,

"Damsel" 36:28
I definitely want to find a partner. You know, maybe even get married one day.

Scott Benner 36:34
Okay. That's wonderful. Your Tyler early experience hasn't turned you off to that idea.

"Damsel" 36:39
No, no, I'm not. I'm not bitter about it. But like I said, I've done a lot of a lot of therapy. So it

Scott Benner 36:48
takes help. Yeah, talk therapy with a psychologist.

"Damsel" 36:51
You know, talk therapy wasn't super helpful for me. psychoeducation, CBT? And EMDR? Rapid Eye Movement?

Scott Benner 37:03
Yes. Yeah. You're like the podcast, of all the things I never thought I'd hear about. I hear about that a lot from people. It's really interesting. And that, how was that helpful? What was it? What did it help you move through past,

"Damsel" 37:18
it really helped me just process. You know, I feel like the memories were kind of trapped somewhere in my mind, to where they hadn't really been processed, but then also, like, stored in my body by like, aches and pains. And I was able to kind of really tap in to what those sensations were and what those feelings were, and how they related to the memory.

Scott Benner 37:47
Well, how long did that process go on for?

"Damsel" 37:50
Well, I, the EMDR was probably, like nine months.

Scott Benner 37:59
Now, that's not bad. I mean, honestly, no one wants to work on something to be able to help you like, that is pretty amazing. What kind of a doctor helps with that? Or is it a therapist? Is

"Damsel" 38:08
a therapist, usually one that's graduated their program? And is trauma informed and then has taken so many hours? I say, specifically related to that therapy? Wow,

Scott Benner 38:23
that's wonderful work. They're doing destroy, I mean, you've been through I mean, density, you know, like, if you know how much you've been through, right? Like, it's not like, you don't lose the, the impact of it, because it happened to you.

"Damsel" 38:38
You know, I, I'm sympathetic for other people. But for me, it's kind of like, at this point, you know, it's yes, a thing that happened. It's

Scott Benner 38:49
amazing. I mean, it's, as you were saying, and I'm like, she's gonna say it's just the thing that happened to me, but I, being the person who's listening to it, like, we're 45 minutes into our conversation, I've never met you before this. Like it's an it's an astonishing story. And over a short period of time to a young person is I mean, there's a lot there. You know, it's really crazy that you're doing as well as you are, do you feel like you're doing well,

"Damsel" 39:15
you know, once I get back to work, I'll be doing very well. You know, I'm three years into this apprenticeship. And so I'm almost finished with it. Then I'll be making some some really good money. It's just, you know, this situation came up and then my daughter needed me home. So

Scott Benner 39:36
yeah, no, I understand. So I think it's a brave decision, especially while you're getting back on your feet, and you're making strides to see that you need to still take a break to help your daughter. I think that's really very mature. You know what I mean? Like, because you don't strike me as a person as like, Oh, my kids having a problem. I can take two weeks off. Yeah. Like it feels like you really made what you thought was the best decision for her. Right? Yeah. Good for you. Where do you get decent parenting skills from? Ah, gotta develop them on your own? Right?

"Damsel" 40:09
No, I wouldn't advise that there's tons of programs for like, new parents, when my daughter was born, I did a program called a nurse Partnership Program, where a nurse would come in home and do some education, you know, towards the end of my pregnancy, and then all the way through age two. And we would meet first every week, and then, you know, eventually it went down to like, once a month, at the end of the program, but I learned so much from from that program. And you know, there's little things that I didn't know, that they were able to educate me on. So I didn't, you know, mess it up.

Scott Benner 40:56
So how did you have the wherewithal to do that, like, so you? I mean, we're talking around it, but you didn't grow up with great parents, is that right?

"Damsel" 41:04
They were super into my education and really supported me that way. But they lost their, I guess, yeah, sometimes I. And I mean, I wasn't the easiest child either. But, you know, I feel like that's what most abuse stems from, like parent to child is, you know, the parent is trying to discipline the child and absolutely loses it. In hurts the child. Yeah. And

Scott Benner 41:35
that happened to you. Yes. And now. So now you're, I mean, not that people need to be reminded, but now you're having a baby that came from your assault, and you want to be a good mom. And you don't really know how so you have the wherewithal to go find services that help you with that stuff? Like that's a really mature is not the right word. That's a really thoughtful decision. So you had, am I right? You consciously thought I'm not going to be good at this. I need somebody to help me and I don't have any guidance.

"Damsel" 42:06
Well, I don't I don't know if anybody's great at parenting. I

Scott Benner 42:09
was gonna say, I think everyone should do this. But I was just wondering what how it got to you?

"Damsel" 42:14
Yeah, you know, I did think, you know, some, some support would be better. You know, this is my first and my last child. So, you know, I do need to be intentional. Yeah, you should

Scott Benner 42:27
be congratulated for that. I'm going to do it. So that is a wonderful decision. And I'm, I'm thrilled that you were that you thought that through the way you did and made it good for you. Like, that's wonderful. I'm certain you don't see it that way. But I think it's a big, it's a really big deal that through that the haze of what your life was that you could see that and take action and do it for another person is really great. That's just terrific. I'm sure. I don't know if anybody's ever told you that before. But I'd like to be one of the people who says congratulations. That's well done. Oh, well. Thank you. Yeah, no, I hope that doesn't sound patronizing because I don't mean it that way. That's unexpected. For a person who has been through what you've been through to be able to stop and focus and make those kinds of decisions. It's really interesting. It feels like Well, let me ask this question what you said your education was important growing up, like, how did you go to college? Or what did you do in high school?

"Damsel" 43:22
Yeah, I did pretty decent, you know, some C's, some B's, when I was going through a hard time with my, with my parents, and then moving out early. I had to drop out to work. So

Scott Benner 43:38
your relationship was not the first time you had to flee a situation? Right. Okay. Okay. So you had to get out of your parents house too early. You dropped out of high school to accomplish that? Eventually,

"Damsel" 43:48
yes, yeah. I did what's called an emancipation where I became my own guardian, essentially. Yeah. You know, got an apartment and got a job and trying to do high school on top of that just wasn't happening. So I dropped out. Got my GED couple couple months later, I think. And then much later on, got a Certificate in Business Administration. Wow.

Scott Benner 44:14
You're really tough. Do you feel tough?

"Damsel" 44:18
I feel like you know, I've I've taken on a lot, you know, but there's definitely been some some really dark places I've I've been as well. Okay. Ever been depressed? Yeah. I have bipolar too.

Scott Benner 44:33
Are you is that being managed? Or how do you take care of that? Yeah,

"Damsel" 44:37
I take medication. And I've recently started therapy again, just to you know, get some stress management tools. Because when I'm stressed, I can fall into you know, hypo manic or depressed more easily.

Scott Benner 44:55
Yeah. Was there any bipolar with your parents?

"Damsel" 44:58
Not that we're aware of Have my mom has like treatment resistant depression? Your mom does? Yeah. Like she said depression for like, oh my gosh, almost 30 years, which is kind of bizarre. Did

Scott Benner 45:12
that physical abuse come from her or from your father? My dad, your dad? And your dad? Was your mom kind of like checked out?

"Damsel" 45:20
She was supportive of him. Oh,

Scott Benner 45:23
that's nice. How many kids they have?

"Damsel" 45:26
I have a older brother and a younger brother.

Scott Benner 45:29
Are their experiences similar to yours with them? Or different?

"Damsel" 45:34
No, they're different. They didn't get kick? No, just the middle child.

Scott Benner 45:39
That was lovely. So if you talk to have you talked to them about that, your brothers? My little

"Damsel" 45:47
brother? Yeah, my big brother was away at college at the time. So is that look on? It is like I wasn't there. So like, I can't really say anything.

Scott Benner 45:57
Does your little brother remember the way you do? Probably

"Damsel" 46:00
from a little bit different perspective. But you know, he does believe me. So

Scott Benner 46:07
is the gaslighting more difficult to deal with damsel because of the bipolar. Like you actually find yourself thinking maybe that did happen, and I'm just not aware. Hmm. Because then how do you?

"Damsel" 46:19
I don't know, because I was only diagnosed with bipolar. Maybe a year ago, year and a half?

Scott Benner 46:26
Because, you know, I'm saying like, if no, I'm not trying to do it to you. But I'm I'm just trying to raise the question like, What if a person is saying something to you? I'm not saying that it's a good reason for somebody to hit you or a soldier or something like that. But but you know, in a lighter moment, like, what if something is said that was happened during like a manic episode that you don't remember? And then it feels like you're being gas lit when you're not. And then they use it to their advantage? Like it's a, it's a wormhole of problems? Like, it's, I don't know how to deal with that as I guess what I'm asking. Yeah,

"Damsel" 46:57
I mean, I suppose they could try. But you know, bipolar two, you get hypo manic, you don't really get to, like delusional

Scott Benner 47:06
I see. Do you will have good recollection of what so when things are not going the way you would want them to? You're still aware of what's happening? Right? Yeah. Okay. All right. I, again, I don't know anything about it. So I'm just trying to figure it out. That's interesting. What do you think your most difficult challenges health wise day to day? Is it diabetes? Or is it mental health? Or?

"Damsel" 47:27
I mean, they're so intertwined, right? Like, tell me how, if I'm, if I'm not doing well, with my mental health, you know, my diabetic care is going to be just awful. And if I don't take care of my blood sugar the way I need to, that's gonna affect my mental health, too. It may even trigger either hypomanic, or depressive. So I see.

Scott Benner 47:57
Yeah, no, I can definitely see how that happens. And how do you make How do you manage with diabetes? So you said you have that Dexcom? When you can have I'm assuming when you can afford it, or when you have access to it, too? Are you wearing it now? For example? Yeah,

"Damsel" 48:09
I am. I don't know, I usually have access, because what I've been doing is applying for Medicaid when I have a layoff. At that point, my income is zero. Yeah. And then just not updating them, which was super helpful on COVID. Because they just didn't check in on anybody for years. Yeah,

Scott Benner 48:34
just let everybody go for a while. So you're managing MDI with Dexcom? What are your outcomes? Like? What is your agency and like, what are your goals during the day for your blood? Sugar's?

"Damsel" 48:44
It hasn't been great lately, you know, I've been able to get like a 5.9 Most of the time, but my last day when she was like a 7.1. What do you think happened?

Scott Benner 48:57
By the way, if the answer is I was living in my car, I would be completely reasonable. I'm just wondering, like, it's a big shift. So something changed.

"Damsel" 49:05
Yeah, I think my my mental health wasn't doing as good. There was some depressive episodes. We have been playing with this anti psychotic, that helps bipolar. And that also increases like insulin resistance I see in everybody, not just diabetics. Yeah, this is wild, you know, this medication can cause like pre diabetes in in non diabetics, because it just has that much impact on blood sugar.

Scott Benner 49:39
And does it just, in general, just difficult to take care of yourself while you're struggling with other stuff like so like, what happens? You don't Pre-Bolus a meal, you get a high blood sugar, you don't do anything about it? Is that kind of like where that happens, or no?

"Damsel" 49:54
I mean, it can but then you just kind of bump it down, right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 49:59
So It's just not the diabetes. It's just not at the top of your mind when you're having those other struggles. Right.

"Damsel" 50:05
And like when I was in the car that was during a heatwave, so I'm sure that like fried some some of my insulin I see,

Scott Benner 50:13
well, you make a lot of hard decisions, it makes a good CEO. A lot of tough stuff gets put in front and you're like, Well, we're gonna have to pick one of these horrible things. Let's go with this. This is the best you do? Like, I mean, I grew up poorly, not like you. I do know about choosing between two bad decisions. And, you know, which one keeps you going longer? You know what I mean? Like, like, it's not like, there's a great decision that leads to a castle where I'm a prince. And there's a bad decision, and I just have to make the right or wrong and it's like, I'm, I have two pretty crappy decisions to make. I just have to decide which one's not as bad. And how does that keep me in the game? Another day? So I have another opportunity to get out of this. Does that sound like some of the stuff you've had to go through?

"Damsel" 51:04
Yeah, definitely been through a lot worse. Like, there's no good choices.

Scott Benner 51:09
Yeah, I bet you a lot of people don't know about that. You know, I'm sure there are a lot of people who grow up halfway decent and go off to college. And their big decisions are, you know, do I want to live in this apartment over here, this apartment over there. And you know, that kind of stuff where, when you're trying to decide, like, well, I'll move into my car, because I can get away from the abusive guy that's with the roommate, but then my insulin is not going to be refrigerated. And my daughter's gonna be living in a car. And, but that's better than this. Like, that's a lot of like, running from lava is what it feels like to me all the time. Like, you know, like, I can't stay here because I'm gonna burn. But I gotta go somewhere else. There's not a lot of good options. Just it's a it's an intense way to live. You know? Yeah,

"Damsel" 51:51
I definitely, definitely live on the edge.

Scott Benner 51:54
You're like an action star except with stuff instead of like, asteroids. Not as cool. Yeah, you're the rock. If the rock was being chased by somebody with a stick, that's basically it. But you're doing you're doing really well. God, I've never said this before, because it sounds so just stupid. But I think in your situation, it's not a bad question. Where do you see yourself a year from now?

"Damsel" 52:18
A year from now, I should be graduated from the apprenticeship, I'll probably make too much for like moderate income housing. So I'll probably be with like a private landlord, and, you know, trying to save up to buy a house.

Scott Benner 52:35
Yeah. For you. That's really cool. I mean, you know, I'm going to share something with you that is almost apropos of nothing. But at the same time, I've had conversations with people in their 50s and 60s, who had really like bad events in their life, like stuff that stretched out over decades. And I want you to know that when they're in their 50s and 60s, when they look back on this time, they don't remember it that poorly. It's interesting. And I have an episode that's not out yet. But I think I can make sure it comes out before you're so there's this this older woman, and she's got type one, and she's telling me this story. Like I don't know where the story's going. Alright, damsel like I have no idea. But at some point, she's talking about being molested by a family member when she's like 10 years old. And I think like, gosh, this must be a defining moment in her life. You don't even like everything that happens to her my stem out of this horror. And yet, for 45 minutes before that, before she shared that part with me, it was not a story that she was telling. Like, like her life had been good. She had met people and loved them and lost them and met more people and loved them again and, and accomplish things and had fulfilling work and friends. And, and it's easy just to think that this is it like this is my story. But if you once you have the gift of of like macro of like stepping back and seeing the whole thing, you see that it doesn't have to be that way. And you are definitely headed in that direction. Like if I could somehow stay alive for 30 more years, which I'm pretty sure I can't do. But if I could like and I interviewed you again, I feel like your interview would come off a lot like this woman that I'm speaking about. Like, yes, I'm horrible stuff happened to me, but that's in the past. And that doesn't impact today. You feel like you're on that path that may does that feel that way to you?

"Damsel" 54:39
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. You know, this is just another bump in the road essentially.

Scott Benner 54:46
That's a great attitude. Well, good for you. I just I know people who would get mired down in it. And I don't know that I wouldn't be one of them at some points. Just bemoaning what's happened to me over and over again and never letting go of it but you don't seem to have that gear. It's really interesting.

"Damsel" 55:02
Yeah, I mean, you know, definitely spent a lot of time in therapy, and I've got meds that are good now. So it's actually kind of hard to get depressed anymore.

Scott Benner 55:16
You're like, Listen, I'm in a chemical situation where I'm just happy. I, there's not much I could do about it. There's nothing wrong with that. That's, you know, nothing wrong with that. And the therapy part, I like how much you're just talking about it? Because it just I don't think it's a thing people do. And probably more people than you than you can imagine would benefit from, you know, some of that. For sure.

"Damsel" 55:42
Yeah, I think I think it's more talked about in just the Seattle area. Yeah, I feel like we talked more about, you know, go into therapy and like being healed, especially like, on dating apps, you know, like, people will put in there, like, if you haven't been to therapy, or you're not working on your, you know, swipe left,

Scott Benner 56:04
leave me alone. So, we've had such as, like, a serious conversation, do you feel like we've covered it pretty well?

"Damsel" 56:13
I don't know. I suppose I should clarify that, you know, what I've been doing with with the Medicaid while I've been getting away with it is is most definitely fraud fraud.

Scott Benner 56:26
I felt like that was pretty clear. But are you here to say please don't defraud Medicaid? Unless you really have to? No, no. What's your message?

"Damsel" 56:39
Um, you know, I just want that to be abundantly clear. So people don't just go, oh, you know, I'm going to take a layoff and tell Medicaid Oh, I took this layoff so I can get on Medicaid. It's like, no, that's, that's not gonna work for you. They're gonna investigate you six months later. And, you know, you might might have some issues there.

Scott Benner 56:59
Are you saying that you think you'll have issues down the line? But it's just the best of the bad decisions you had right now? Or are you? No, no,

"Damsel" 57:07
no, I, you know, they don't really investigate it unless you like, advertise it. So

Scott Benner 57:14
Okay. Well, you're we haven't used your name. So I mean, good luck. Go find them out Seattle that's on Medicaid and go getter is gonna figure out who this

"Damsel" 57:23
I mean, you do have my, my full legal name, or you can totally, totally cut if you wanted to you

Scott Benner 57:31
imagine they rolled up here, like strong army for your name. That'd be crazy. I would really think my podcast was popular. If that happened. That's the first thing I want you to know. I'd be like, damn, I am reaching people. Okay, so listen, if you're listening from the government, you have type one, just be cool. Okay, let it go. Can I delve into a little bit about what's in your note? Or do you think it's too much of a juxtaposition for the conversation? Because I feel like it connects a little bit, but I don't want to talk about it. If you're not comfortable. Yeah, we could talk about it. Alright. So when I get an, you know, What's your connection to diabetes? Have you been on a type one podcast last six months? What are some of the items that you hope to talk about? You just said BDSM kink from a type one point of view. And then we got on today? And I was like, That is not what we're talking about. So I did a great job adjusting. I think everyone can see that now. But I mean, seriously, right? You were like you want to talk about like, just, you know, s&m and stuff? And I was like, Yeah, I'll do that you got on your like, instead, would you like to talk about like physical and sexual abuse? I'm like, Ah, okay. I can pivot. But it was like nine o'clock in the morning at the time. So I was like, I can do this. But then I realized it's like, it was like, six in the morning when you and I were starting to talk right? For you, right? Yes. I was like, she can do it. I could do it. Is that a lifestyle that you have been into for a long time?

"Damsel" 58:59
Yeah, I'd say you know, maybe just before my daughter was born, maybe six years. Was

Scott Benner 59:06
that with the guy you were with? Or is or is it a bigger group of people?

"Damsel" 59:11
Oh, no, it's a it's a community for sure.

Scott Benner 59:15
Okay. And so you're gonna have to help me her damsel because this is not going to be something I can even guess my way through. We all go to a party. And I guess let's define it first. What's BDSM mean?

"Damsel" 59:27
B is bondage. D is domination. SS sadism. Ms. Mas masochism. I don't know. I feel like maybe that's self explanatory. If you look up each one

Scott Benner 59:41
Yeah, I'm not gonna Google anything right now.

"Damsel" 59:43
It does encompass more. More than that. You know, its impact play you know, hitting with your hands, spanking or objects like floggers is you know, bondage with ropes or handcuffs. laughs are, you know, even like,

Scott Benner 1:00:03
shrink wrap, shrink wrap like your whole self? Yeah. Yeah,

"Damsel" 1:00:07
there's some people who are really into like a modification

Scott Benner 1:00:10
and then being like having sex then or just,

"Damsel" 1:00:14
you know, you, you'd be surprised how much sex doesn't happen. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:00:19
Interesting. So, I mean, I think the obvious question here is, is this a way to take control over things that were happening to you in the past, like, so you're being abused by people, but now you can be in control of it. Like there's abuse, but it's not harming you? You're in control of when it starts and stops? Is it a control thing?

"Damsel" 1:00:41
No, I don't think so. I mean, I, I wouldn't define it as abuse, either. I think I would like being spanked whether, you know, I had been through what I was through or not, I

Scott Benner 1:00:52
gotcha. I don't listen. Let me just first say, I've never been spanked sexually. So I'm not sure what I would think of it. I'm not judging it. But I also don't know how to like, ask Kelly about that. So I don't know that I'm ever gonna have an answer for any of you. Can you imagine I was like, Hey, I did a podcast the other day. And I was wondering, in a sexual situation, can you just smack me to see if I'm good with this or not? I don't know. So that's not a reasonable leap to you than that. How's it started? How do you first become aware that that's something that's interesting to you?

"Damsel" 1:01:27
And that's, that's a good question. I think, you know, it's just a matter of trying it.

Scott Benner 1:01:32
So are you saying that, like, so what's your particular is kink the right word? Okay, what's the thing you like, what's your go to?

"Damsel" 1:01:41
I love impact and that incorporates all kinds of like, striking the body.

Scott Benner 1:01:49
Okay, with like those little floggers you're talking about or something like that, or a hand?

"Damsel" 1:01:53
Yeah. And a flogger with, even like a fist. So

Scott Benner 1:02:00
punched? Like, I don't know how you punch playfully. But that's what you're talking about. Like you're not talking about somebody like rearing back and backing you right? Yeah,

"Damsel" 1:02:08
not not usually I've seen you know, one one scene where it definitely seemed that way. And it was, you know, so concerning to me that I had to go. Oh, really see the dungeon monitor and be like, are you aware of this? Have they talked to you about what what they've agreed to? And they're like, yeah, yeah, no, it was cool. If you can't handle it, go over here. Here's the stuffy

Scott Benner 1:02:31
Yeah, I'm so damn you for bringing up such serious stuff on this podcast and keeping me from being able to call this episode dungeon monitor. I really you You screwed me on that one. I'm not gonna lie. Because that would be a great name for the episode. When you said there's a dungeon monitor. I was like, get the hell out of here. Is there really? It's fantastic. That I don't know tickled me. So, so for you, you want that the impact stuff? Do you want it during intercourse or not necessarily?

"Damsel" 1:03:02
No, definitely not. That's not for me.

Scott Benner 1:03:05
So prior to or not even in conjunction with?

"Damsel" 1:03:08
It depends if you know this is a sexual partner, then, you know, maybe that if this is someone I just met or a good friend then No, probably not. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:03:21
so the these things do not need to be connected to sex.

"Damsel" 1:03:25
Actually, no, they don't need to be connected to sex or romance or anything. Do they like that

Scott Benner 1:03:31
for you? Are they more frequently not connected? Or connected?

"Damsel" 1:03:35
I'd say more more frequently not. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:03:39
So if you and I are dating, you might say to me what? Hey, Scott. After we watched the wall tonight, can you What are you looking for? You're like, I don't know. I mean, I'm

"Damsel" 1:03:51
guessing you're vanilla. And I'd have to respect

Scott Benner 1:03:54
that. No, no, no, listen, let's say I'm up for it. I'm whatever you want. I'm there. We're together. Okay, in this scenario, so I'm good. I know the deal. Like I've met you. I heard the car story. I know you're bipolar. Amen. Okay, like so like, I'm here. What are you looking for?

"Damsel" 1:04:11
I don't know. I guess in my mind, I definitely separate like kink and sex and romance. You know, I prefer like polyamorous relationships. Okay, so, you know, those things can remain separate, as well.

Scott Benner 1:04:30
So what if it wasn't sexual? You were just like you wanted the impact stuff like what would you like? Would you leave it to me? Or would you be like, Look, I need you to slap me here or pinch me or that kind of stuff?

"Damsel" 1:04:43
Yeah, no, I guess I would probably ask you if you wanted to negotiate a BDSM scene. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:04:52
so we pre plan it and then act it out.

"Damsel" 1:04:57
Essentially, you

Scott Benner 1:04:59
understand? I don't know what I'm Talking about I'm just doing my best to try to get it out of you. Because I don't know, I'm, I'm swinging wildly here into the into into the darkness. Not that this is dark, but you understand what I'm saying? I don't know what I'm looking at. Yeah.

"Damsel" 1:05:10
So in negotiating, I like to, you know, say what I want to happen. And then anything outside of that is going to be excluded from what we do at that time. All

Scott Benner 1:05:25
right, let's play the act this out then. So we're in this situation. Let's negotiate. How does this start? You say, Hey, I'm up for something. Tonight. I go, Alright, I am to What are you looking for? Yeah, it's not as easy when you have to say it out loud, is it?

"Damsel" 1:05:42
No, it's not especially on like the

Scott Benner 1:05:46
someone's listening. It's upside to two. Are you a sub? Yeah,

"Damsel" 1:05:53
more towards sub, I'd say I'm a bottom. And the differentiation between that is like the bottom is the act of receiving. Whereas the sub is like a power thing you are giving power to the dominant or giving power to the top.

Scott Benner 1:06:12
So is this a situation where you basically signaled to, again, we've watched the wall, and I only bring this up, because it's my favorite nighttime game show because I love for some reason. Damn. So let me tell you something, I get as much joy out of watching people lose money as I do watching them win it. So there's part of me that likes to watch them get like a million dollars, and then watch it go away. I'm like, you lost. I don't know what that says about me doesn't matter. So we're done watching that. And you make the signal to me that you're up for shenanigans. And then it's kind of on me to like, move forward with it, you're not going to tell me what you want. You just you've given me the nod. And now it's on me to come do what I'm gonna do? No.

"Damsel" 1:06:51
So would negotiate and say, Okay, what do you want? What are you in the mood for? And I'd say something like, oh, you know, maybe a little rope play and impact. And you say, okay, for rope? Are you okay with us doing something maybe like a chest harness? Or are you thinking of doing maybe some suspensions or, you know, kind of evaluating what, what equipment you have to work with? And, you know, taking into consideration, you know, maybe some health limitations.

Scott Benner 1:07:30
Yeah. So, so we're looking at, like, making a harness to suspend you if we can, or you said chest harness. So like, Am I like, I'm so sorry. Am I wrapping this like around your breasts or the rope? Gate? Like sort of, like, what am I trying to say? Like, confined them? Like, like, you know, when those guys do the, at the parties, the birthday parties, they make the balloon

"Damsel" 1:07:53
animals? Oh, yeah. You know, you can definitely make them pop out like balloons. That's, that's

Scott Benner 1:07:58
the vibe. Okay. See, I'm figuring it out. Don't you work? And okay, so you might be up by the way, where do we keep the ropes in the car? When we're living in the car? They gotta be in the trunk. Right?

"Damsel" 1:08:07
In the trunk? Yeah, okay. Definitely suspicious. Especially with my tools and my shovel back

Scott Benner 1:08:15
there, pulled over you got a bunch of construction stuff and a bunch of ropes in the cops like, Hey, what's going on here? And you're like, let me tell you about my chest harness fantasy. He's like, just go, I don't care. But okay, so are you so we negotiate all this. I've got a hook. I got you hanging up your your boobs look like hot dogs from like a party balloon. And then I just give you some wax.

"Damsel" 1:08:41
Yeah, if that's all stuff, I said that I want to

Scott Benner 1:08:45
if it's in the negotiation, right, we do the business, but then you and I are not like it doesn't necessarily need to be sexual, then. No. What do you get out of it when it's not sexual?

"Damsel" 1:08:55
It's definitely a rush of chemicals. Okay. Yeah, it really gets the adrenaline up. I forget what that hormone is after, after the cortisol comes to where it kind of helps calm you down.

Scott Benner 1:09:15
Okay. I was gonna say, do you get fight or flight? Or no,

"Damsel" 1:09:18
no, there's just kind of a mindset you get into, for me, it would be subspace to where I just feel really light and pretty happy.

Scott Benner 1:09:33
So when this is like, you're in the light, happy place, and you're still swinging, like, like a ham in a butcher shop. And I say to you, I say to you, damsel, I'm really turned on. I want to have sex. Are you up for that? You might say yes. And you might say no.

"Damsel" 1:09:51
Right? Or no, me. Yes. If it's something that wasn't negotiated before you We can't bring it up in what we call aftercare, then we're not, we're not changing it. You know, if you're in that mindset, that's also influencing your decisions.

Scott Benner 1:10:13
So let's say we negotiate it, but then we're done. And I go, damsel, I'm just I'm tired here. I don't want to do the sexy part anymore. Are you okay with that? Are you gonna be like, Yo, I was planning for that part. Do something. No,

"Damsel" 1:10:28
you definitely can't. Can't do that.

Scott Benner 1:10:30
I can't. I can't bail. I can't be like, I'm tired. No, oh, no, no,

"Damsel" 1:10:34
you can't be like, I wasn't planning on that. We need to have sex right now. Like, that's, that's not okay. That's not sexy. That's not concerned.

Scott Benner 1:10:42
I'm just trying to say like, what if we can I maybe I missed I spoke. I'm saying we already talked about it. We've consented we're gonna have sex at the end. And then I'm so tired. I have to bail. And I'm like, I can't do this, like hoisting you up here really took a lot out of me. And so like, I just not to say that you are heavy, but you don't I mean, like this. I'm a magic. It's a lot of work. And so like, now I'm all like, oh, I smacked around. I did all the stuff I was supposed to do. I'm tired. I don't want to have sex anymore. Would you be mad? or No? Would you know you'd be alright? No,

"Damsel" 1:11:11
you know, the great thing about consenting to sex is you can always not consent anymore. Sure. So

Scott Benner 1:11:17
I removed my consent, so So you'd be cool with that? What if the roleplay was in reverse? Where do you put the rope on me?

"Damsel" 1:11:23
Well, really, there's just the same. It's a body. You know, just different parts.

Scott Benner 1:11:33
No rope, or is there a different rope? Is there a rope and rope or no? Same rope? No,

"Damsel" 1:11:39
no, it's just up to personal preference. There's all kinds of rope that people like to use some like more silky materials and some like more scratchy materials. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:11:53
yeah. It's just come out and ask a bold question. Ever pega guy? Yes. Because they asked me because you want it to?

"Damsel" 1:12:01
Well, both have to have both to make it happen. Right? Well,

Scott Benner 1:12:06
I guess so. You're making a point. So, so that's the thing you're up for? If they're apart? Yes. Interesting. Okay, I just figured we'd go completely into making this an after dark and just like let me just get all my questions out here. You don't I mean? Yeah, is it you use the word I'm gonna sound old for a second you said polyamorous, can you define that for me?

"Damsel" 1:12:32
Ethically having multiple relationships that are usually like full full on, like boyfriend girlfriend relationship, husband, wife relationship? Just with multiple people more than

Scott Benner 1:12:45
one person? Okay. Can you have a like a kink relationship with one person and a completely like? Leave it to Beaver relationship with another person? Like, is that a thing? Could you separate those things? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Have you ever done? Have you ever had multiple relationships at one time? Yes.

"Damsel" 1:13:09
I at one time. I think when I first contacted you, I had a boyfriend who was vanilla. I had a joy friend. That was kinky. And then I had a regular that was kinky.

Scott Benner 1:13:29
Three different endings. All men. Are there women in there.

"Damsel" 1:13:31
It was two men and one non binary. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 1:13:36
All right. When you moved in with a roommate, did you was that going to be a sexual relationship? or No? No, no, that was just a roommate thing. Gotcha. How do you put the bat signal up for this? Like how the hell do you find other people like who are interested in this too? Is it like the internet? Is that where we do this? Are there codewords? Yeah,

"Damsel" 1:13:57
well, I mean, if you wanted to, you know, ask your wife first. But you know, you could get on FetLife and it's fetlife.com and you make a profile and just kind of look through the local events. And you can message people but it's better just to go to the events to meet in person. I feel like that FET Yes, FET L I F e.com. Free plug bigger. Advertisers will love that.

Scott Benner 1:14:32
Oh, there's not gonna be any advertising on this one. Don't worry. You made it onto the official subscribers only episode. The rest of it will be bleeped out and given to somebody for for an after dark. Do you ever get there? Do I how to say this? I'm not judging anybody. But what if you get there and people are heinous. You don't I mean, like, does that matter? Does body style matter? Does the kink matter? Do you have to be attracted for it to work?

"Damsel" 1:15:03
Oh, you know, it varies person to person. But I'd say for a lot of pickup play where you're just meeting somebody and then negotiating with them, that it doesn't matter, because this is more of a friendly.

Scott Benner 1:15:18
Yeah. Like you're playing Pinnacle together, or chess in the park or something like that. Sure. Yeah. No, seriously, I'm, I know what you're saying. Okay. So just the thing you both like to do you need another person to do it doesn't really matter who they are you just going to do the thing? Is the negotiation. exciting to you?

"Damsel" 1:15:37
It can be, especially when you're just meeting someone new. And it's like, oh, I wouldn't. I wouldn't guess that you were into that. Okay. Let me let me try that.

Scott Benner 1:15:47
I know, I'm wondering about all the people I know, which one of them are doing this account? I gotta, how do I find out? They need to know, damsel? I'm serious. I want to I want to I need a McCarthy style hearing of all the people I know. That's probably a very old reference that you don't get, but don't worry about it. And, and and where I find out everybody's kinky, like, backstories. Even those of you listening immediately, you should I'm wondering about you all too. Do you think there are mostly people thinking? I don't know what this lady is talking about? Or do you think there's more people who are like, Yeah, I'm into this too, that I just don't know about? Oh,

"Damsel" 1:16:23
my gosh, that community has so many diabetics. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:16:26
interesting. Type ones, specifically. I've

"Damsel" 1:16:30
met one, type one, and then I've met, maybe seven diabetics, type two, some of them were type two, and then the rest just didn't disclose. Hmm.

Scott Benner 1:16:42
Okay. Interesting. I don't know if there's a correlation there or not. But that's still very interesting. Have you ever met somebody you've known? Have you ever gone to an event? They're called events? Alright, if you've ever gone to an event, and looked across the room and been like, oh, hell, that's my third grade teacher or something like that? No,

"Damsel" 1:17:02
not that closely. But I mean, if you're there just at the at the right time, you know, you might see like a city council person or

Scott Benner 1:17:15
lovely. This is what I'm talking about. Okay.

"Damsel" 1:17:18
But I mean, if you know them, you don't know them. Right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:17:21
Are there a lot of people who if I saw them in their street clothes, there's no way I'd ever guessed this? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Are you? Are you one of those people? The older people? Oh, yeah. Like, like, like, oh, there's grandma. But no, she's got a whip. Like that kind of thing.

"Damsel" 1:17:39
Yeah, there's there's quite a few from like the Boomer and like later Gen X generation that go to events because they're, they're empty nesters. Now, they have all this time to actually do it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:17:51
I'm gonna ask my wife. She's not here right now. She's traveling for work. I'm gonna ask her I'm gonna be like, Hey, is it possible you have like any like kinky leanings towards this stuff? And I just have never asked, maybe I should ask, What do you think she's gonna say? You know what she's gonna tell me. You know, I

"Damsel" 1:18:09
don't know. I've been married for

Scott Benner 1:18:11
27 years. She's gonna walk away from me and not say a word. She's gonna be like, and then a half an hour later, she's gonna be like, What did you talk about on the podcast that made you ask me that? And then I was like, well, you're gonna want a mic. You know what I'm gonna call your episode, by the way. What? Damsel not in distress. It's good, right? I love it. Yeah. Because you seem like it for a person who has been through a lot of stuff. You seem like the least in distress person I've ever met. And you asked me to call you damsel. So that's what I'm going to call it. Is that alright? With you? Yeah, that works. Well give me negotiating and asking permission. All of a sudden, I was like, This is how I have to do everything. I want to go to lunch today. I'd be like, Would you like me to sit here? Or should I sit there? I'm gonna get all like that. I am having lunch with a friend that an hour. Okay.

"Damsel" 1:18:59
Yeah, you should totally like, slap the butt of the seat before you sit down. Oh my god.

Scott Benner 1:19:07
Do you get judged by people on this? Like? Well, let me ask my one question. I'll get the you listened to. I mean, there's no way you don't listen to podcasts. That's how you found out about it, right? Oh, yeah, I listen. Okay. So like, do you get judged by people? Are there times in your life where they find out stuff about you and you feel judged? And here's my question. Have you felt more judged by being bipolar? By enjoying your an s&m lifestyle or having diabetes? Oh, that is a good question. One of the best questions. This is one of the best interviews I've ever done. But go ahead. Let's

"Damsel" 1:19:40
see. Well, not a whole lot of people know that I'm kinky. So I mean, they can't really judge and I try very, very hard not to use my real first name in the community, right. So I think, you know, maybe I'm judgment for about the diabetes. because I'm so open about it so more people can see it. Like I love wearing my Dexcom just out on my arm. Yeah, just be like, what's up? There's

Scott Benner 1:20:11
no way you could tell guys at a job site about the s&m thing, right? Because that would just open a floodgate. They'd be horrible to you. I'm imagining, right? Yeah,

"Damsel" 1:20:21
I've been open about it before on other job sites. And it was kind of like, oh, you know, she must be a freak. I've got a chance with her. You know,

Scott Benner 1:20:32
everyone takes a run at you once they know. Right? Yeah. That's interesting. Not surprising. Just interesting. Yeah, so that I mean, there's a place I would keep it to myself. I'm pretty sure I'm thinking about myself here. If I was a lady and I was at a job site, and like that kind of stuff. Okay. Well, we've done it, damsel, this is I'm gonna tell you right now, officially the best podcast I've ever made my life. So you were and it's because you're so open. And you were willing to talk about so many different things. So honestly, were you pretty nervous in the beginning?

"Damsel" 1:21:04
And not really, I smoked a cigarette just before?

Scott Benner 1:21:09
Little nicotine. Myself. Yeah. And nicotine works. Don't tell the kids. Yeah, don't tell children that. But that little jolt you get from it's not bad. Right? Right. Yeah. It's the smoking part. That's not great. And the addiction and all the other stuff, but whatever. Listen, one mountain at a time. Am I right? Right. Let's not get crazy here. Try to fix the whole world at once. Maybe

"Damsel" 1:21:37
I'll quit smoking after I you know, get an apartment.

Scott Benner 1:21:42
That's the funniest thing anyone's ever said on here. Congratulations. Way to joke about being homeless and do it in a fun way. That was really well done. It seriously, what's your like, maybe I'll smoke after I get an apartment. let's prioritize a little bit. That's fantastic. You were terrific. I usually say goodbye. And then like, tell you people you're they were terrific afterwards. But you were really good. I mean, your life is significantly different than mine, obviously. So I enjoyed listening to your stories and hearing about them. And learning more about it. I I can't thank you enough for sharing all this with me. And with everybody listening. Thank you really sincerely. Yeah, thanks. I like how you're just like, Yeah, cool. That's fine. You don't so. So we're not my

"Damsel" 1:22:27
hardest, smiling. So Greg is probably the med student. I can't go too far up or down. So,

Scott Benner 1:22:33
I mean, we're done. But I want to ask you just one more question. I'm gonna keep recording. So for people who are not into this at all, what do you expect that their reaction would be to hearing your story? Well,

"Damsel" 1:22:45
it's kind of like we did two episodes in one, right? We

Scott Benner 1:22:49
did. This was weird. I'm not gonna lie to you, but it's your life. So you know, but, but like, we'll just put the kink thing out there first, if people heard about that, like, just, you call them vanilla, like so you people who don't have those thoughts? Or do and they're not doing anything about it? If they hear this? Do you think it sounds weird to them? Do you think it sounds freeing? Do you think they would judge it if they knew?

"Damsel" 1:23:12
You know, I think most people would would judge it? You know, is kind of a interesting niche. But I think there's also a lot of people who would be, you know, more interested? Yeah, maybe want to explore it.

Scott Benner 1:23:30
Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you. I've been married for a long time. I'd love to slap my wife. I mean, once we negotiate on it, and she was something she just oh my god, you have to be married for a really long time to know about those moments where you look at each other. You're like, Hmm, maybe I could choke you. And, and they look back at you like yeah, come over here. Try. I'll choke you back. Oh, you gotta be married for a really long time really? To imagine this like you trust me. You'll know when you're like 60 But I guess I should ask Do you like being choked?

"Damsel" 1:24:15
That takes a lot of trust in somebody just because it's so so risky. Delicate to write. Yeah, so I love it. But I don't do it a lot.

Scott Benner 1:24:25
I need the right person. I

"Damsel" 1:24:26
don't do it with anyone. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:24:27
Do you ever do it to yourself? Does this move into your Alright, here I go. I know. I said this is over. But does this move into your masturbation at all? Ever hate yourself?

"Damsel" 1:24:39
Sometimes.

Scott Benner 1:24:42
Okay, it's alright with me. I'm just wondering. What about away from sexuality? Do you ever like if you've ever done it, just just the impact stuff? No sexuality by yourself. Can you self impact?

"Damsel" 1:24:56
Yeah, yeah. When I'm told to You know, smack. Say well, no.

Scott Benner 1:25:03
Okay, if I tell you, not me, but if we're together and we've talked about it ahead of time and like at some point during this, I'm gonna tell you to smack yourself. You're gonna do it. But you wouldn't do it like him. Yeah. In bed to just chill out at night.

"Damsel" 1:25:17
No, probably not.

Scott Benner 1:25:18
Okay. All right. I've asked a bad question. That's okay. I'm doing my best. How do I handle this? Seriously? I'll let you go in a minute. But like, Did I do okay? Because this is a big shift from topics and I, I want to make sure you're comfortable.

"Damsel" 1:25:32
Yeah, no, that was That was beautiful. I'm just glad I had enough time to dig in. Do both, I guess. Yes. Really awesome.

Scott Benner 1:25:42
I appreciate that. Listen, I wasn't gonna stop talking to you. You're fascinating. So, and you're really honest, and that's hard to find. So thank you very much. I'm gonna let you go Hold on one second for me.

Mark is an incredible example of what so many experience living with diabetes, you show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes define you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong, and together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community or to share your own story, visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox. Don't forget, we still have marks conversation at the very end. It's a terrific kind of mini episode about 10 minutes long, that goes deeper into some of the things that you heard Mark talking about earlier in the show. A huge thank you to ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Are you tired of having to change your sensor every seven to 14 days. With the ever since CGM you just replace it once every six months via a simple in office visit. Learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors GE voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G folk glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox. you spell that GVOKEGL You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. If you're living with type one diabetes, the afterdark collection from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction, and so much more. Go to juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark. There you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, but everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes, and you're looking for support, comfort or community check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

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#1168 Chariots of Fire

Amy was diagnosed with T1 in 1982 at the age of 11; she had gastroparesis for 18 years that was fixed by gastro bypass surgery.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1168 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Amy she's had type one diabetes for 41 years diagnosed in 1982. She's developed Ra, and gastroparesis. Amy's even used a stomach pacemaker to regulate her digestion. It's very interesting conversation that I think you're going to enjoy. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please take the time to fill out the survey AT T one D exchange.org/juicebox. You'll be helping with type one diabetes research when you complete the survey AT T one D exchange.org/juice box. When you place your first order for ag one with my link you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D. Drink ag one.com/juice box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com.

US med is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from us med for years. You can as well us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for us the link or the number get your free benefits check it get started today with us med Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing people together to redefine what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Jalen, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 14. He's 29. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. And then later at the end of this episode, you can hear my entire conversation with Jalen to hear more stories with Medtronic champions, go to Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox or search the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Ever since it's gonna let you break away from some of the CGM norms you may be accustomed to no more weekly or bi weekly hassles of sensor changes. Never again, will you be able to accidentally bump your sensor off. You won't have to carry around CGM supplies and worrying about your adhesive lasting. Well, that's the thing of the past. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Hi,

Amy 2:59
I'm Amy. I'm 53 years old type one diabetic had diabetes for 41 years. So got type one when I was 11. I'll save you the math. Thank you. I got it in sixth grade back when technology didn't exist, peeing on strips and test tubes and the nurses bathroom. In elementary school. My diagnosis story is typical. So I'm not going to spend too much time on it. But peeing a lot for weeks. Lost a lot of weight that I didn't have to lose thirsty constantly got up five times during a movie. My parents still talk about it to go to the bathroom. What movie chariots of fire so far? Thank you. Yep, still don't like the movie to this day, kind of traumatized by it. Then I got what we thought was the stomach bug. But was DKA started throwing up and my mom took me to the pediatrician and they said she has diabetes. Never heard of diabetes before. are barely. And they said you need to get to children's hospital right now. Take her in Boston 41 years ago. Yeah. 1982. Jesus. Yeah. So when I got to the hospital, my blood sugar was 800. I don't know what my a one C was. I don't remember ever hearing about a one C at all. I'm not sure what was going on back then. But I was in the ICU for three days. And then in the hospital for 10. Overall and training, giving an injection in an orange. That's how I learned my dad learned to but no one's ever given me.

Scott Benner 4:43
No one ever actually ever really got close to you with it. I'm just sitting here thinking if you took an 18 year old person right now and said, hey, something happened to Kim and 90 or AMI in 1982. I think they'd go win. Like, don't you think that would seem to me like 100 years ago? Go to them. Yes.

Amy 5:01
Yeah, it does, especially with where we are now with diabetes and technology and like people I work with that weren't born. When I got diabetes, yeah,

Scott Benner 5:10
there's a lot there. So okay, there is. Let me ask you a couple of questions. Do your parents still like Chariots of Fire? Do they not like it either?

Amy 5:18
Ah, my job likes it. He's the one that took me. He likes it.

Scott Benner 5:23
He's a boy. He's like, I'm not associating this with anything.

Amy 5:26
It's like, I don't care. That's your disease. that I like.

Scott Benner 5:30
Yeah, when Arden was diagnosed, there were like, this is gonna sound ridiculous to people but there were DVD players portable DVD players were a big deal. Yeah, they people are like, what like, so you could it was like a Walkman. But for a movie. I don't know how to explain that. Kelly had like, we brought like a handful of DVDs with us to the to the hospital and with this DVD player in it, but Arden watched this same movie over and over and over again. And he hates the movie now. Like she associates it with Arden getting diabetes. Oh, yeah. But Arden really likes it.

Amy 6:09
Oh, I get I have Yeah, I I will never see chariots of fire again. But well,

Scott Benner 6:14
let me ask a couple of questions. Yeah. Is there any diabetes in your family? Besides you type one down the lines? So

Amy 6:22
a couple of seconds, a second cousin and their child had type one.

Scott Benner 6:27
Is this before you or after you? One

Amy 6:31
is the mother of my second cousin once removed before me, the other child after me she was one and a half. Okay. She was

Scott Benner 6:42
diagnosed later. Yeah, what is you know, just kind of briefly because I feel like we know at this point, but what's diabetes 41 years ago? Like what's your day to day grind?

Amy 6:53
It's exchanges not carb counting. It's Hey, you can have this many breads, this many proteins, this many vegetables, whatever. You can't eat sweets. You can have a dish of ice cream once a month. Basically, you can't have juice. It was a lot of restriction and NPH and regular pork insulin and was allergic eventually to that got hives for a long time had to switch to beef and then luckily humor log but yeah, there's a lot of injections but no rhyme or reason. Basically, like you eat at this time you give an injection, three injections a day, three meals a day some snacks.

Scott Benner 7:36
It's funny to hear you talk about insulin like it's bully on the chicken or the

Amy 7:41
Yeah, exactly. It was like you're allergic to the poor. Okay, here's the beef. And no, that's not gonna work. I didn't have a problem with food or weight or anything. But when somebody tells you, you can't eat anything, but this at this time, I quickly got a problem with food and snuck it. So hi, mom and dad, hope you're gonna listen to this. This is great. But lots of junk in snuck it in my room through my teen years trips to McDonald's, etc. That bad eating continued in the sneaky way. All through college until I got my first complication. So well.

Scott Benner 8:22
Okay, so Did it cause a lifelong problem with food? Yes, normally no.

Amy 8:29
So I wasn't overweight at all until I think a couple of years after diagnosis. So 14 stopped doing sports teams and start kept eating and just was on a million different diets Weight Watchers etc. I don't have to list them. They're all like the Go twos and hat was like obsessed with not in a like my eating patterns weren't great because I snuck food but not in a like eating disorder way. Although the eating itself was probably disordered but no clinical, whatever. I just snuck food and ate it always gave medicine never skipped my insulin but didn't always 100% accurately write down what your urine tests or wow, I never wrote that down, but didn't write down what my urine strips said all the time and or ventually finger sticks when we started testing with testing with finger sticks. I fudge the numbers when I had to go to my endocrinologist and show them the log book, which looked like a checkbook and you had to write all these numbers which I would do the night before. So do you think

Scott Benner 9:42
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Speaker 1 11:15
I was going straight into high school. So it was a summer heading into high school

Scott Benner 11:19
was that particularly difficult,

Speaker 1 11:21
unimaginable, you know, I missed my entire summer. So I went to I was going to a brand new school, I was around a bunch of new people that I had not been going to school with. So it was hard trying to balance that while also explaining to people what type one diabetes was. My hometown did not have an endocrinologist. So I was traveling over an hour to the nearest endocrinologist for children. So you know, I outside of that I didn't have any type of support in my hometown. Did

Scott Benner 11:49
you try to explain to people or did you find it easier just to stay private?

Speaker 1 11:53
I honestly I just held back I didn't really like talking about it. It was just it felt like it was just an repeating record where I was saying things and people weren't understanding it. And I also was still in the process of learning it. So I just kept it to myself didn't really talk about it. Did you

Scott Benner 12:09
eventually find people in real life that you could confide in. I

Speaker 1 12:13
never really got the experience until after getting to college. And then once I graduated college, it's all I see. You know, you can easily search Medtronic champions, you see people that pop up and you're like, wow, look at all this content. And I think that's something that motivates me started embracing more. You know how I live with type one diabetes? To hear

Scott Benner 12:34
Jay Lynn's entire conversation stay till the very end. Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box to hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community.

Amy 12:45
Well, I wasn't allowed to eat anything. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 12:47
are you like, being like, I'll show you like, subconsciously I'll eat whatever I want? Or was there a real loss of the foods that you enjoy?

Amy 12:55
There was a loss of the food? Well, my mom and dad never had junk food in the house, really. So it wasn't a problem until it was right. So I guess it was like, I'm not allowed to eat this. My mom's against me eating this too. She doesn't make sweets, etc. So I'm going to eat it in my free time.

Scott Benner 13:11
Okay. In my free time, which when you're a kid is plentiful

Amy 13:15
is exactly wish I had that free time now I know. But, yeah, so went to college, four ish years. So let's say four and a half. We had an extra semester in there. didn't tell anybody I had type one for for the whole time. never told anyone. The first person I told was my first husband. My ex husband is the first person I ever told after we had been dating but I kept it a secret didn't tell my roommate. I have to say I don't remember testing. And this is like shameful. For four and a half years. I didn't feel low. I didn't feel high. I was just eating. Drinking some not like a huge problem, but middle of the night pizzas. Lots of subs. Yeah,

Scott Benner 14:06
yeah. Is that not testing thing? What was the testing technology like at that point was that I

Amy 14:12
can't remember if it was fingerstick or the urine strips.

Scott Benner 14:16
So I'm gonna do a little round guessing so if you're 11 and 82

Amy 14:20
Yeah, I went to college and ADA two through 92

Scott Benner 14:24
Yeah, there had to have been meters at that point.

Amy 14:27
And I might have had one but to tell you never got low blood sugar and four and a half years compared to what I deal with now is shocking to myself.

Scott Benner 14:36
Well, you never got low because you probably never had enough insulin Right? Correct. Yeah. When did you switch to a faster acting insulin like did you go to lentil Ultra lentil Did you know no Humalog you wouldn't write from beef and then to Oh, no,

Amy 14:52
no beef and pork to your regular on mph. This? Yeah, I had Did mph irregular originally and then I had Lantis. And I had like, I forgot something during the day before the pump and then I started a pump in 2004 2000 afford

Scott Benner 15:12
me start pumping. Medtronic, you Yeah, there wasn't another option?

Amy 15:18
No. Well, and it was also the best one at the time. Yeah,

Scott Benner 15:23
no, no, that's what their salespeople told everybody. Yep. Question. Yeah. What was the management like, at the doctor's office? Were you going to a yearly quarterly semi annual you are and what did they test your blood? Like? How do they tell you? You're doing great, you're not doing great. Like, how does that get measured? So

Amy 15:43
I went to the endocrinologist or regular Yeah, I went to Jocelyn and Boston, but I went to the endocrinologist. I never remember hearing about an agency, honestly, until the mid to the early 2000s. But it was blood it was oh, what are your blood sugars? And I would either give them a download at that point, I think you could stick it into your computer, which you still can do but and then the pump and everything, but they were like, oh, okay, you're doing okay until I got my first of two bad complications in college. And that so made me wise up. I'm

Scott Benner 16:21
gonna get to that in just a second. But you call it shameful a minute ago and I thought, I don't know. But I'm trying to

Amy 16:26
net will make me cry at some point during this podcast because

Scott Benner 16:29
prior good because just great to see you know, we'll be weeping together on a freakin podcast. And I got a note last night. I was up work late working. And I did like sometimes I jumped on the Facebook group. And I'm just like, look, I'm here working. I'm doing like this mind numbing thing. If you guys want to ask me a question, go ahead, which is a very seems to be a very popular thing on the Facebook group. And one of the people said, I just want to tell you that my kid was in the backseat. So I started crying during an episode that went live yesterday. It was one of the myth episodes, and somebody just had shared something horrible. And as I'm reading it, I was just like, I hate me cry. And I said that I was like doing it with Jenny. And I was like, Jenny, don't cry. Don't cry, Scott, don't cry. And like I'm doing that. Well. Apparently, this lady's little kid in the back seats. Like don't cry, Scott. Oh, how cute. I don't know. I think they were mocking me. Don't you think they're like, Look at this. No.

Amy 17:23
I don't know. My kid mocks me and she's 13. So it's her job. But I asked her for tricks to not make myself cry today. And she didn't have any. Well,

Scott Benner 17:32
so my question is, is like, is it really shameful? Or is it just the best you were doing? Or did you know there was more you're supposed to be doing? And you were just like, oh,

Amy 17:40
I there was more I could have done. diabetes

Scott Benner 17:43
comes with a lot of things to remember. So it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US med has done that for us. When it's time for art and supplies to be refreshed. We get an email rolls up in your inbox says hi Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from us mid you open up the email to big button that says click here to reorder. And you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one. US med has done that for us. An email arrives, we click on a link and the next thing you know your products are at the front door. That simple. Us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link. I open up a box. I put the stuff in the drawer. And we're done. US med carries everything from insulin pumps, and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and the Dexcom G seven. They accept Medicare nationwide, over 800 private insurers. And all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514 or go to my link us med.com/juicebox using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juicebox Podcast.

Amy 19:05
I didn't take care of I guess I didn't take it seriously. I didn't think oh, like retinopathy exists. I was like, Oh, I might lose a leg a toe a foot like not that that's not serious. But all I heard of is that and dialysis like my biggest fear, which I'm not going to I don't have but those were the things that were you know, they tell you and as a

Scott Benner 19:26
kid you remember thinking I could I get 10 toes I could give one away is like was no

Amy 19:31
I didn't even think about it honestly. Ever. But they told you I mean yeah, and the pink the diabetes training book that you got that had the Pink Panther.

Scott Benner 19:43
Are you gonna say the Pink Panther book? Yeah, sure

Amy 19:45
was. That's what they had.

Scott Benner 19:49
I am although I just saw somebody just had it recently online. They're like, we just got this I'm like, Oh my God. They're giving that to people still.

Amy 19:55
Oh my god. That's should be Yeah, that's outdated. Quite

Scott Benner 19:58
nothing like you know Using a cartoon character on a book for people that no one has any connection to whatsoever, they're like, what is that? Like Pepto Bismol? Man? You don't I mean,

Amy 20:07
nobody alive now, like, knows who that was.

Scott Benner 20:11
I don't know that people know what Pepto Bismol is. What do you think of that? No,

Amy 20:14
I do, because my mother in law has to use it a lot. So anyway,

Scott Benner 20:20
there's got to be something else. So anyway, oversharing I'll decide when you're over sharing. You're doing fine so far. I listen. There's something wrong with me. I got up this morning, and I read this. What are some of the themes you hope to cover on your episode? Type one for over 40 years. And then you describe some of your issues. And I was like, Oh, this is gonna be really interesting. I think most people would go, Oh, this is horrible. And I was just like, oh, I can't wait to talk to her. Oh,

Amy 20:45
thank God, I should probably get to those right. I'm probably like I said, I oversharing kind of circle the drain. But undiagnosed ADHD.

Scott Benner 20:54
I don't know what you're talking about. I never know what people are talking about when they say that. They're like, Oh, I'm all over the place. And like you're not we just had a very cogent conversation. We understand your background. Now. You're not all over the place. Don't worry. I think some people have an expectation. Yeah, that conversation supposed to move along? Like a bullet point list? Yes.

Amy 21:14
Which I made for myself. But yeah, okay, good.

Scott Benner 21:19
I think of conversation like ping pong. That makes sense. I say something, then you say something, and then I go, Oh, that was interesting. And then I said something for that. And I don't care where it goes to, to be perfectly honest. I think when you're listening to it, it's actually more natural to listen to two people have their thought and continue talking than it is to hear people like in a stilted way. Say, Well, we are now done talking about point number three. I'm now going to speak about

Amy 21:46
way too many of those types of meetings at the pod cast is interesting. So to go to.

Scott Benner 21:52
Okay, so you feel ashamed now? Yeah. And I'm sorry. I don't know if it's an ashamed but what is it? How do you feel about what happened? You mad?

Amy 22:03
You're gonna make me cry. But these weren't. These are my fault that I don't have a stomach anymore. And I have written up with you too.

Scott Benner 22:12
Do you think it's your fault? Do you really think it's your fault, though? Sure. But what did you know? I mean, you got it when you were 11. In I mean, in 82. Nobody knows anything. Right there. They're still telling you like, here. Luckily, we have this you can take it and this will keep you alive. But they were probably in 82. You're they're probably still thinking shortened lifespan for people with type one. Sure. Yep. Yeah, so they're not

Amy 22:38
my dad also said, by the time you're 16, they're going to find a cure. Oh,

Scott Benner 22:43
they did that one too? Yeah. Oh, sure. In the hospital. Oh, see? This? Okay, me? You keep crying if you have to. I'm gonna keep Oh, no, I'm

Amy 22:53
sorry. I'm already crying. But I know I could have done better. So

Scott Benner 22:59
it makes this a challenge. I don't think I can get you to cry one more time.

Amy 23:03
No, no. 100% can for sure. Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:06
What I was gonna say is that, you know, I hold I make this statement a lot on the podcast to doctors, that when you say something to somebody like that, you run the risk of it going one of two ways. My dad said it. Yeah. But but it's, he probably says it too. So you will feel hopeful. Correct.

Amy 23:25
But and honestly, who knew at that point? Right, right.

Scott Benner 23:28
But what if instead, it makes you feel like, oh, only five years? I don't have to look that close. And it's almost over? Correct. And then those five years turn into 10 years? And then before you know it, you're crying on a podcast? I think that didn't exist in 1982.

Amy 23:44
Exactly. And neither did computers when I first went to college. But I

Scott Benner 23:47
tell people all the time, I make a living with a bunch of stuff that did not exist when I was in high school. Yep. So. But anyway, my point is, they started you in a hole.

Amy 23:59
You don't I mean, correct. And I am not saying my parents didn't help manage it. But I mean, they did. Because I lived with them. And they were responsible for what I ate. But I'm the one that gave my medicine, always. I'm the one that did my blood sugar. And then in college, I'm the one that ate and sometimes drink.

Scott Benner 24:18
But you were just shooting a pre determined amount of insulin, right?

Amy 24:23
Correct. Until eventually a sliding scale. But that didn't come till much later, and then maybe counting carbs and that I had already had diabetes for such a long time then that the first complication was already there. You

Scott Benner 24:38
believe me? So my point is, is that I have no other people who live through beef and pork insulin, and all the way. Yeah, and they don't have complications. But maybe what they had was a doctor who gave them the right proportion of insulin to use. Maybe, or are you saying that you ate so much more over what you were telling people you ate that that couldn't have Get enough insulin. Yes. All right.

Amy 25:02
I wasn't telling anyone what I eat. Are

Scott Benner 25:05
you disappointed or sad? I'm both. Who are you disappointed with? Besides yourself? Anyone else? No, no. And sad, because

Amy 25:22
I don't know. I have a lot of medical problems that I wouldn't have. If I didn't blow off a lot of years. Like a lot, like half the time I had diabetes.

Scott Benner 25:38
Do you live with this? Like, still daily? Or is it just coming up? Because we're talking about No, it's

Amy 25:44
coming up because we're talking. And I also go to therapy. But yeah, and also, I have been so so so lucky. Number one great insurance, and, like a life changing surgery with for my gastroparesis, and I have really good retina doctor. So I'm really, really, really lucky. But I've spent a lot of time on medicines, stuff like that was talking

Scott Benner 26:09
to a friend yesterday, like a grown human being with like, you know, jobs and like established lives and everything, trying to get a very simple medication her. Like, they won't give it to her. She's like, I thought I always I always thought I had good insurance. And please don't make 1000 calls. Yeah, but you know what it was? It's just small family. It's just her her husband and one child. They were never really sick people. And I said, you this is the first time you tried to use your insurance. And she's like, kind of is and I was like, Yeah, I'm like, trust me. If you would have like, given birth to Arden 19 years ago, you would have figured out very quickly if you had good insurance, and you would have done something about it. If you could have that I take your point about how lucky you already have it. So okay. Yeah. What's the first complication? It came in college, but that's fair.

Amy 26:53
Yeah. I went to Syracuse, and I was a senior and in the shower, and all of a sudden, I saw a huge black circle in my eye, which I thought was a bug. Never knew what retinopathy was, got out of the shower, tried to get it out of my eye, and realized it was in like, behind the eye, whatever. Yeah, I called my parents and they called my doctor and I flew home and went to a really good retina specialist at NASA pioneer, who I still see to this day that was in 1991. And he saved my eyes and he's the reason I can see I had lots of laser surgery and both and then a couple years after that, I had a vitrectomy in the left eye which is taking the vitreous part of like the jelly partier i out. I had that, but knock on wood. The last leezar I had was in the 90s and I still see the same retinas specialist who's in his 80s and I begged him every year not to ever ever retire. But he saved my eyes to

Scott Benner 27:59
thoughts. That was nine just nine years with diabetes.

Amy 28:04
Yeah, yeah. High blood sugar for nine years. Yeah.

Scott Benner 28:07
And when you said the the procedure, and you said it's when they take the jelly out. I want everyone to know that inside of my head of voice you know the sea turtles and Finding Nemo. Yep. There's a voice in my head that when did jellies oh my god, that a different voice that said, What the hell is wrong with you? Sorry. That's okay. Yeah, the voice that was what the hell was wrong with me? That was actually me talking to myself. But so, wow. I can't imagine how scary that is to be in college and have that happen. It

Amy 28:47
was Yeah. Luckily, I had access to really good doctors and got home fast and went back to college. And I remember having to go to like an interim retina specialist in middle of nowhere, Syracuse.

Scott Benner 29:02
Yeah. It's not even even have

Amy 29:05
a mall. Yeah. I was a senior. Yeah. So you're the forest. 100% Yeah, it was not great. I think I had to take a bus and then get a shot might Yeah, it was a good time. But other than cataract surgery, and yes, I sound like I'm my grandmother. Cataract surgery in both eyes. A couple years ago. Knock on wood. I still see my retinas specialist once or twice a year.

Scott Benner 29:31
And your visions. Okay.

Amy 29:32
It's sometimes it's 2020 or 2025. And yes. Which is awesome to me. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:41
Do you have other complications besides Yes, yes. You're pretty systemness Yeah. What else do you have? Well,

Amy 29:48
I have another autoimmune disease. Oh, but not in another company. I have rheumatoid arthritis that I got four years ago.

Scott Benner 29:56
Oh, like it The holidays are gonna come out. was like a New Year's thing.

Amy 30:02
All right in January. Yeah. I didn't know why are we good? Yes. One, one weekend. I'm like, my hands look really like bent and they hurt and I thought, oh crap, I have neuropathy in my hands. I didn't, I had tests, but it was literally like, one day I was fine. And then all of a sudden, my hand started hurting a lot went to get a lot of tests, and I tested. I forget what the name of that, but it was negative on the tests, the blood tests came up negative or some

Scott Benner 30:36
people talk about having ra but with negative tests. Yes. So

Amy 30:40
I had to get an MRI. And I had it and, you know, they mentioned all the scary medicine that you have to take that you're gonna lose a face. You're not gonna have this you're gonna get like, whatever. And so you're I'm like, I don't want to take any of these auto like these immunosuppressants, but I am taking humera I

Scott Benner 30:58
was gonna say you're doing an injectable? Yep. Once weekly, right? Yep. Yeah, I know that because that's the commercial once weekly. humera. Oh, yeah.

Amy 31:07
And when you hear the commercial, like, you could get lymphoma. You could lose it. Like all this stuff. My mom's I don't take that. I'm like, I have to. Yeah, I tried it again. I have to. But if I keep exercising and stuff, it helps so much. That it doesn't get worse. And right now knock on wood. It's Steve. It's pretty stable.

Scott Benner 31:28
Your hands like curling up?

Amy 31:30
Are they getting along? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep. So it looks like osteoarthritis on the outside. But that's no, and I only have it in my hands for now. Is

Scott Benner 31:41
the humera help you with anything else? No.

Amy 31:45
And every time I get sick more, or if you have like a cold or anything, you can't take it. Or if you have surgery, you can't take it weakens

Scott Benner 31:54
your immune system. Yes, right. Yep. I always think like, everybody's always like complaining. Not complaining. Like there's this, you know, worldwide attempt to like, impact, inflammation and people.

Amy 32:08
Oh, yeah. Like, eat this diet. Yeah. anti inflammatory. Right.

Scott Benner 32:12
And, you know, when you read that you're like, come on, that's not gonna help me. I don't

Amy 32:17
eat mushrooms. Don't eat that don't yeah, like the Tom Brady diet. I

Scott Benner 32:21
just wonder when it's gonna be that, you know, some doctor, some scientist figures out like how much how much tiny little bit of whatever humera is, or one of those drugs is going to just turn people's like, it means that just a teensy bit. You don't mean and get rid of like some of that inflammation? I'll tell you the other day. I mean, I've been if you listen to the podcast, and I don't know if you do or not, but I do. Okay, so I've been losing weight with week over since March. Yeah, like and I'm down like 33 pounds 35. I was down 35. Well, here it is. I was down 33 pounds. And I was sitting pretty like, like stably that's like, I'm not losing any more weight. But I guess I will one day, and I get I get a little sick. And they put me on a steroid pack. And I so steroid packs, for me are terrific. Because they make first of all, I feel like Superman. And they and they also make me any excess water I have in me, I expel in the first like six hours. I'm taking it. And I am on the steroid pack. And two days later, I jumped on the scale, I've lost three pounds. And I'm like, I'm like and that's just water weight that my body should not being hold should not hold on to like, I'm not. I wasn't dehydrated, like nothing like that. I was hydrating and everything. But my body just seems to hold on to like three pounds. I

Amy 33:43
don't want to go down past that point. At that point at

Scott Benner 33:47
all. And I always think like it's a steroid pack. Like, what does that do? Like? It's like a diuretic for you. Yeah, for me, it's a diuretic. It's really interesting. I'm like, I don't know, I'm sure one day I'm gonna talk about myself so much on here that one day, somebody's just gonna send me an email, they'll be like, here's everything that's wrong with you. We figured it out. And shut up and stop talking about it if I tell you but but anyway, I always like I imagined that, like inflammation in general is something that that scientists have to be. I mean, that'd be a billion dollar product if you could just turn that down a little bit for people. But I mean, think of all the people who come on here with a you know, ADHD or they talked about you know, I'm bipolar, I have bipolar in my family and there's also a lot of autoimmune in my family. Like if you could just not you know what I mean? Just not making sure you're getting sick all the time, but then a little bit, just a little, you can have some I'm not sure if that's how like, you know, medicines work but in my mind, that's what they should be trying. Anyway, so I eyes are in college 22 you do you're doing and do what you do, when does the gastroparesis come.

Amy 34:56
So, in the late Eat 90 So I'm in my late 20s. I'm married, not to my current husband, but I was married. And I was starting to get nauseous like all the time and just a side note. I have such a phobia to throwing up like such a phobia. Arden doesn't like it either. Oh my god. I mean, does anyone like it? No, but I got thrown up on at Disney World when I was a kid. And ever since I have a phobia about being sick being around sick people like hate it by Goofy.

Scott Benner 35:32
Goofy who grew up on you know,

Amy 35:34
I was at a luau. At the Polynesian, which was one of two hotels that existed. So yep, long time ago, and a kid threw up on my back.

Scott Benner 35:43
Oh, really? Yeah, like a stranger. Yeah,

Amy 35:48
so I literally have such a phobia and then end up with a really bad complication I'd never heard of that makes you nauseous every single day. So I didn't know that. At first, I had all the tests, the stomach tests. And then the infamous gastric emptying study, which I've had to have the first one, I laid on steel table with the camera over me and a Walkman in my ears, because that's all that existed for four and a half hours. That's how long it took for the egg whites with the dye on it or the oatmeal, I forget which one to digest. And they Yeah, it was a good time. And they said you have gastroparesis, etc, etc. And I started trying all this different medicine, which there's nothing great. Honestly, I have to tell you and ended up being on regulan not great for 18 years, I was nauseous every single day for over 18 years. Some days. Bad. Some days, not that bad. I worked still work through this whole time but ended up having to get a work at home accommodation, which wasn't popular back then. Because it was easier to manage at home when I was nauseous. Some days it was really bad. So I'd need to take Zofran and composition, but those would make you tired. So it wasn't great. I had to go to the ER a couple times for IVs of those when it was very bad. But luckily I had it way less terrible. I guess that's an improper phrasing of that. But there's I went to a motility disorder support group once where most of the people couldn't work. They were on TPN like feeding tubes. Oh, Dr throwing up all the time. And I'm like, so I was like, Okay, I'm not as bad as that, like, I'm okay, whatever. But I still felt awful. In the early 2000s. I heard about mini med Medtronic mini bed it had this FDA or sorry, this humanitary hue man Attarian device called a gastric neurostimulator, which is basically a stomach pacemaker. But it wasn't approved by the FDA. Because I don't know it wasn't and they could put it in etc. But it took two years of begging meetings, people present not me, but people presenting to the board of directors at Beth Israel and Boston. And finally I got a stomach pacemaker in 2001, I was the first one to get it in Boston, it helped because it would send electrical impulses to my stomach and make the food digest better than it was instead of just sitting there all the time. So it helped to a point. And I would say over from 2001 till 2015. I had it adjusted about 100 times, which means like they put a little looks like a circle, I don't know the official thing over you and they turn the battery, they turn the settings up. So it moves faster. And then eventually the battery runs out and five to seven years you have to get it replaced, which I had to do once

Scott Benner 39:04
you know me, you're the first person who's ever brought this up on the podcast. Like I know I'm aware of it because Jenny knows somebody who's had one. Yeah, and that's why I so I've had private conversations about it, but no one's ever I kept. I have to be honest with you. I just kept waiting. I was like someone's gonna bring it up eventually, you know? Yeah, sorry. It's you.

Amy 39:28
That's fine. Wanted to be on here because yeah, I haven't heard anyone talk about it. But admittedly, I haven't listened to every What do you

Scott Benner 39:36
mean? We're done? Every one. Almost I lovingly made these 1000 podcasts for you and you don't have the decency? No, I'm just giving it back to me.

Amy 39:49
So, so I was kind of existing with still being nauseous still being on tons of regulan. You had to made up a lot. It made you thirst tired there. See, whatever. And every time I went to the doctor, they're like, you know, you really need to cut back on that. It has an a blackbox warning with the FDA because it can cause bad permanent side effects like tardive dyskinesia, which is like neurological tics and things like that, that will not go away. Even if you stop taking them at

Scott Benner 40:24
will they tell me again, which med does that regulan and that's part of the for your pain in your stomach.

Amy 40:31
Well, it's not it was for the nausea. And it also helped with the motility okay, it helped move things along it but it made you tired, it made you go to the bathroom all the time. I just thought that was me. Go into the bathroom.

Scott Benner 40:46
Take the sidebar for a second tell people look Astro priestesses in case they don't know.

Amy 40:50
So it's a motility disorder where the nerves in your stomach or damage so food sits in your stomach and doesn't pass through like it normally should. It sits there and you get nauseous from it sitting there. And then it will digest eventually, but in my case, not normally. Yeah. So things with higher fat, etc, or lots of fiber would make would take even longer, I'd spike blood sugar, like I'd be low and then I'd be 400 even with like, back in the day, dual wave Bolus, etc.

Scott Benner 41:30
digesting this. So couple things here for people so we can kind of speed everybody up. First thing is, is back then when a doctor is saying to me, Hey, you know, you don't want to lose a toe. You know, what they're saying is like, you could have nerve and you know, you know, you know what it is when you can't feel your toes, that's nerve damage. No one ever says to you, there's nerves in your stomach too, by the way, helps digest food, those could get hit instead. Or you know, like, that's not the kind of stuff that anybody thinks about but that's exactly what this is. This is just a it's just the nerves not carrying the, the signal telling your stomach like make squishy squishy up the food and make it into poop. Like it's just that that literally is not happening. So they tried to give you this pacemaker to like stimulate, stimulate. It helped. You're saying but not it wasn't terrific. Not

Amy 42:18
enough. I was still like, Okay, I'm working. But I'm existing like, at this point, I'm married to my husband, Dave and love my life and have a daughter who we adopted at birth. I still like I couldn't do a lot of stuff. I couldn't go out. I had to cancel at the last minute because sometimes it was like overwhelmingly nauseous. So I'm like What else exists? I've tried everything compounded drugs in Canada like everything, Canadians. Someone said Botox in the stomach never tried it. I guess it could help but never I don't see how but then never became a thing. So I started Googling as we do. And because I found out that people could have gastric bypasses sometimes and it would treat the gastroparesis, and it could help or make it worse. So that didn't seem great. But I also heard of an acid reflux med. I mean, sorry, surgery they were doing in Boston, because they advertised and I went there. And at this point I was, I would say obese, but not like morbidly obese but a good size. Let's just say I went to the hospital and talked about the acid reflux surgery and they said to me, Well, you have gastroparesis. We can't do the surgery on you. And obviously you're not malnourished, so there's nothing we can do. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Appreciate it. Yeah, you're on weightwatchers. Like you're not starving, so that there's nothing we could do. Anything we could do is drastic. So

Scott Benner 43:53
I've let me ask a couple questions. Yeah. Has your weight always been an issue? Or did it start at a certain time? It started when

Amy 44:01
I was 14, after like, sneaking the food, and then I was on some kind of diet. And my whole life after that. Well, I always was,

Scott Benner 44:13
your parents don't notice they think you're eating one thing but you're gaining weight. They

Amy 44:17
knew I was gaining weight.

Scott Benner 44:18
But did they know why?

Amy 44:23
Not specifically until now. Oh, okay. That's okay. I gave him a heads up.

Scott Benner 44:28
It's fine. Okay. I was gonna say like giving you're obviously getting more calorie somewhere. But then I go back into my mind to the mid 80s. And I don't know how much people even understood about nutrition to be perfectly honest. I know that sounds crazy. No,

Amy 44:39
I get it because we didn't read labels for like, oh, a piece of wheat bread is to bread exchanges or whatever. So yeah.

Scott Benner 44:46
So you know, as processed foods are becoming more and more popular. There's a whole generation of people there who just think of food is like, you know, apples and simplicity and you know, like because that's how they grew up with their foods were simple and not overpriced. testing everything and then they start introducing all this into the world. And it's really thought of as like a savior like, Oh, no one's gonna starve. Look what we figured out how to do you know, genuinely people didn't know how bad it was for you. I've never I have no remembrances of my mom saying, like, here's bad food that I've bought for you. Like, like, you know, I mean, like,

Amy 45:20
yeah, we weren't allowed to have junk food in my house. A dessert was like, maybe homemade pudding, but barely ever. It was like fruit.

Scott Benner 45:27
Homemade pudding sounds horrible.

Amy 45:31
Mom, it really wasn't. But it can be. We add fruit and then even Halloween candy like Halloween? Not fun for a diabetic in the 80s. I'll tell you that. So I didn't like hello. I still don't.

Scott Benner 45:45
So your weight just continues? Yeah,

Amy 45:48
I mean, I'm on a cycle of losing weight, gaining weight. Like when I went on the pump. I gained 12 pounds in the first week. Because, like what I heard Jenny say the other day is like you're probably paying out some of your calories because your blood sugar is out of control. Yeah. And then it rained. And I'm like, How did I gain 12 pounds in a week? Like, I'm doing good. And, you know, so

Scott Benner 46:08
I was on your on the DPA diet. You're you're not on purpose. Not on purpose. But yeah. Oh, yeah.

Amy 46:15
Yeah, for sure. Hold

Scott Benner 46:17
on. I have a lot of there's a lot going on here. I'm trying to bring it all together. Be nice. Sorry. I'm

Amy 46:24
taking too long like we might be at a time soon. Thank

Scott Benner 46:26
you. Amy, stop it. I make a podcast. What else do you think I have going on today?

Amy 46:33
Well, you usually you're popular. I booked this last October. Well, my popular.

Scott Benner 46:39
The waiting list is extraordinary. If you signed up today in September, I think you could get a date in March. But that's because I've been holding the dates back. I'm about to open the floodgates online and let people know. But I'm actually going to do something that I haven't done before. I'm actually going to like, announce that I'm taking new people on the podcast. You know, I've never done that. I've never want to have a waiting list. Yeah, I've never once on the podcast said hey, if you'd like to be on the podcast, I mean, even I never said that before. So just because I've never had a lap, you're about to get flooded. Let's see what happens. I'm interested in trying. We'll see what goes. But um, my question that I've been holding back this whole time, and then you started talking about your weight and I if I'm being honest, I thought oh, maybe this never happened but did you ever like restrict food to make your stomach feel better? Like just not eat? I

Amy 47:30
didn't restrict it but I went on special like that. I don't think they call that the gastro precice diet but basically don't eat any raw vegetables cut vegetables up very small. Everything has to be cooked. Basically drink water like literally don't eat peanut butter. Don't eat this like

Scott Benner 47:50
yeah, that that I that I I've heard of the gastroparesis diet, but like, yeah, it's a good time. It's never it doesn't it's not a fun list of foods. But did it ever occur to you like, my stomach hurts because there's food in it that won't digest? I'm just gonna fast for three days and see if I feel that never. Now why did that never hurt you?

Amy 48:08
I don't know. Because I was nauseous all the time. But sometimes still able to eat most times still able to eat right?

Scott Benner 48:16
Do you know what I'm getting at? You have a problem with food. Do you think? Yeah,

Amy 48:20
yep. Yeah, I did. Now I don't have much of a stomach. So can't really eat much took

Scott Benner 48:26
care of that. But But um, we'll get to that. Look at you. Little spoiler. Yeah. So I've had times where like, I don't feel well. And I'm like, I'm not saying nutritionally, this is a good idea or obviously sustainable. But, you know, there's times where I'm like, I don't want to go to the bathroom again. I'm just not eating.

Amy 48:44
Yeah, that never occurred to me. Okay, because I was always hungry.

Scott Benner 48:49
Give the food voice that you hear people talk, people now. Now that like we go Vinos Olympic are big for weight loss and stuff. You hear a lot of people who have trouble with food. Talk about how that drug takes away their food voice.

Amy 49:05
It does it it and I've heard a lot about it. Because since I've had bariatric surgery, a lot of the people who've had that have also also take that now. Yeah, just to stop the cravings. But for me, it slows down your digestion? Yeah,

Scott Benner 49:23
no, I thought about that. I was like, There's no way you can take that as soon as you

Amy 49:27
know, plus, I'm good. Now. But

Scott Benner 49:30
my point is that I've heard people

Amy 49:32
say it works so well. I mean, obviously, yeah, trust me. I

Scott Benner 49:36
know. It's amazing. But, but I've heard people say like, I wake up and my first thought is what am I gonna have for breakfast? As I'm making breakfast before I'm eating it. I started thinking, what am I gonna have for lunch?

Amy 49:49
And it's not like it was like that. Yeah, not anymore.

Scott Benner 49:52
The procedure stop that.

Amy 49:55
For the most part. Yeah.

Scott Benner 49:57
It's interesting. Just how psychological hoping is, well

Amy 50:01
it also shuts off for the first year to the ghrelin hormone, which is the one that says you're hungry or sends the signals to the brain. It like is turned off basically. Yeah. And then I never let any of the foods back in that I could have by this point because I had the surgery for pretty much a different reason. And I don't have another chance the surgery lead to weight loss. Yeah, I lost 75 pounds. That's crazy.

Scott Benner 50:28
How long a year. Yep, pretty

Amy 50:31
much. Yeah. And it's been eight years since I had the surgery. It's

Scott Benner 50:36
a hell of a thing to get saddled with. Like that. The food voice and and a weird relationship with eating when on top of it. You have gastroparesis, like, it just seems cruel. You don't I mean? Yep.

Amy 50:50
Yeah. And I had a lot of high blood sugar and low blood sugar spikes to with when I didn't listen to myself.

Scott Benner 51:00
I wonder if people know. I mean, if you listen to the if you've heard the Pro Tip series, I would imagine this would not be surprising to you. But you know, your blood sugar going up from food is because your food goes in your stomach and starts being digested, that whole process happens. Glucose is pulled out and sent to your blood. Insulin is the key that unlocks that cell that lets the the sugar back out of your blood. You don't have the insulin, so boom, right? But I wonder if they think well, if you eat and you have gastroparesis, then the process of digestion doesn't start so you can't Bolus like a normal like a normal person would because the insulin starts working well before the food starts impacting you.

Amy 51:41
Yes. And so when I had gastro precice at first I had or when I got the first pump after the gastroparesis. The Medtronic mini med had a dual wave Bolus and some other type of dual Bolus situation where you could give like half up front and then the rest over a period of time.

Scott Benner 52:01
There. You're showing your diabetes age. Jenny does it too sometimes she goes it's a square wave Bolus. I'll make people see other Yeah, we'll just call those extended Bolus is now on she's like, Yeah, correct. But

Amy 52:12
I don't do those because I'm on the Omni pod five who is? Oh, sponsor Oh, they

Scott Benner 52:17
are on the pod.com forward slash juice box. Get your I'm sorry.

Amy 52:23
Pavlov's dogs calm.

Scott Benner 52:24
Yeah. So yeah, any of them I could I could I swear to you, you could say a sponsors name out loud. I could do a nice tight 92nd commercial for you right now off the top of my head.

Amy 52:33
So I know I could do probably from listening to podcast, I hope literally has saved my life telling me how or maybe because I lost consciousness so many times. Oh, well, before CGM for the Dexcom. And then after the Dexcom. The CGM has alerted my husband and my dog who loves glucose.

Scott Benner 52:53
So he's just excited that sugar is being eaten.

Amy 52:57
Yes, yep. When the alarm goes off, he lays on my leg and barks for glucose.

Scott Benner 53:04
I assume everyone's dog is a boy. Because same,

Amy 53:07
same, but my dog is.

Scott Benner 53:09
What do you know why I think that no, I have this like, who would get a dog that they had to like manage a period for that sounds horrible?

Amy 53:18
No, I've heard it happen. But we always had when we had female dogs when I was a kid, we would get them spayed. So oh, wait, that takes care that it does. Unless you're a breeder and you want to breed the dog.

Scott Benner 53:29
Do you think David Spade doesn't bleed? What do you think David Spade doesn't bleed? Pre spayed. By the way. Do you know David Spade, and Kate Spade are related?

Amy 53:42
Yeah, that was his I thought he she was his sister in law. Yeah, he

Scott Benner 53:47
she was the sister in law. Yeah,

Amy 53:49
she took her like, my favorite. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I love people like calm. It's like, I shouldn't say that out loud. But yeah, that's my favorite. So

Scott Benner 53:58
that's where you hear about what happened to famous people. I get that hard hitting news. Yeah, you know, one time there was an app out that like it was about like famous people's faces or something like that. And I swear to you, Arden comes into the kitchen one day, and she goes, I give up. And I'm like, why she goes, You're in this app. Oh, my. And I was like, well, that's a mistake. First of all. Someone's made a horrible mistake, or algorithm just pulling images from the internet. And she goes, I can't believe you're in this app. I don't even remember what the app was called. But um, anyway, I've you know, as far as

Amy 54:38
people that have a podcast or something,

Scott Benner 54:40
I don't I mean, how can I listen? Let's be clear. I'm not famous. If you take me to a diabetes, you know thing, and there's 500 people in there who have type one their kids have type one. I'm George clothesline, yeah, for a couple of hours. But like you walk outside that building and you know, people would hit me with their car and not think twice It's about it. So it's so weird juxtaposition for me. But and I don't know, which I prefer actually. Being at those things is, is like exhausting. Because you're like aware that I don't know how actual famous people do it by being here but yeah, because like I saw videos of myself from like two weekends ago that I don't know were taken. Yeah,

Amy 55:24
I think they were on your site. I embrace

Scott Benner 55:27
it. I embrace, but not just that one that one I kind of thought I was being recorded but like I there's other ones where I'm like people are pointing cameras at me and I'm unaware of it. And it's weird because I don't think of myself that way. So I don't know to constantly be carrying myself like somebody might be like taking a photo of me or something. Anyway, this is way off to the point. Yeah, sorry. I should probably bring it back. Tell me. So you tried to like the belly zapper to mix? Yeah, I tried that makes. And then yeah. How do you when you end up with a surgery?

Amy 56:00
Yes. So I started Googling found out about the gastric bypass, potentially helping and so I went to my gastroenterologist locally. And I mentioned Have you ever done this on a type one? Or have you heard of anyone that had gastroparesis that had this and he's like, No, but I know there's a doctor with affiliated with the weight loss center that if anyone would know it's him, so go see him. So that was in late 2014. I saw. I don't know. I mean, Dr. Al,

Scott Benner 56:34
I'll say Right. Dr. Lowery, we'll call him like, his name is not? No like this was just like Dr. Mo, Dr. Lowery, Dr. croad will

Amy 56:42
know he's I don't mind giving his name, but he's awesome. I mean, he's the best he gave me my life back, honestly. So I went and saw him and talked to him about it. He said, I've never done gastric bypass on a type one. I do it on morbidly obese type twos. And I was obese at this point. But he's like, I'm intrigued. Let me talk to some motility doctors in Boston, because I live in a certain Central Mass, like a suburb of Boston, but I went to both I went to Boston doctors and local doctors. So he's like, let me do some research, and I'll get back in touch. So he calls me back in early 2015, and says, There was a study done on 100 type ones with gastroparesis, and they had gastric bypass surgery and 70% of them had a relief in symptoms. So I think I could do the surgery on you. And you'd feel better. And I was like, go and he said, I want to do the gastric bypass and also a partial gastrectomy. I do not know how to spell a lot, which is a partial removal of the stomach. I don't think they do that with all bypasses. But it was to prevent the bile backing up from my liver and continuing the nausea for me. Okay. So my husband and I left and he's like, I don't want you to have the surgery. What if you die because you know, most people thought oh, gastric bypass or you could die, etc, etc. Now, it's that's sort of a myth. Because they it's not open surgery. It's laparoscopic, etc. So we thought about it. And I said to my husband, Dave, I said, If I don't try this, I'm always gonna wonder if this could have helped. Yeah. So I said, I know you're worried but I'd rather try then. Live feeling the sick.

Scott Benner 58:38
Yeah, me. You were in enough pain, and had been at it long enough that you thought that I was 18 years died, then? Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Amy 58:48
Wow. That was That wasn't what I wanted to happen. But I was like, I would rather risk it than be nauseous for the rest of my life and maybe be on a feeding tube at some point. When

Scott Benner 58:58
you talk about that kind of nausea. Like if you wake up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom. You're nauseous? Yep. Yeah, just nonstop. Like, like,

Amy 59:07
Yeah, well, sometimes it wasn't like I had breaks in it. But sometimes it was to the point where I like I can't leave the house because I felt so nauseous that I would start to panic that I would get sick.

Scott Benner 59:20
Oh, then that kid was buried with the thing. Yeah, theater.

Amy 59:23
Yeah. I had my doctor and his team of Wonder insurance people got the surgery approved. And it was, I guess experimental because I was still overweight but didn't qualify weight wise. So they were doing it for the gastroparesis and had the surgery August 14 2015 and haven't been nauseous since he took my gastroparesis away pretty much like so. I have a pouch. Oh,

Scott Benner 59:55
hold on one second. Before you tell me about that. Do you know what the function was? was like, how did it help? Yes.

Amy 1:00:02
So it bypasses the stomach and the food goes into a small pouch and goes into the small intestine. So it's bypassing basically and I'm probably butchering the explanation of this, but it bypasses like the whole motility issue. He thought I would feel better it basically and I don't want to say cured, like, let's just put it in quotes, like I don't have that nausea anymore pains gone any of that? Nothing. He took out my pacemaker during the surgery. And also, because I didn't need it. And yeah, I mean, I kept waiting, like so when I first woke up from surgery. I was super nauseous because anesthesia and I had to have it at a Boston hospital because it was high risk. And I would they kept giving me morphine that and I'm like, I don't want this. Take me off of the pain meds. I feel nauseous. And so I didn't realize I wasn't nauseous anymore at all. I got out of the hospital when I was there, like two days low because the pain meds made him nauseous. Yeah, I get so nauseous from pain meds, I hate them. So they took me off of them and said, Oh, you can take Tylenol, but since you're resisting like the other meds you got you don't need to stay here. And I'm like, okay,

Scott Benner 1:01:16
they were just keeping you there to get you high. That was pretty much.

Amy 1:01:19
Well, yeah, I was slurring when my husband came to visit. So yeah, pretty much. And then you have to cheat like it's, it's months before you can eat again, you're like on liquids for a while. There's a whole it's not easy, but it was so worth it. And I mean, can I eat what I used to know. And I probably could allow 90% of the stuff in smaller amounts to come back. I won't. Because I have a problem with food. And some of those are trigger foods. And this is the only chance I'm going to get with this can't have it done again. So I know that it's a huge gift and I don't want to mess it up for

Scott Benner 1:01:55
you on a much different level. I have I understand what you're saying. Like, I never thought I'd be this thin. Like,

Amy 1:02:04
Yeah, seriously. I am Yes, I'm then now, too. But also, like, I'm not sick every day. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:02:14
Because the removal of the nausea. And the torture alone just sounded amazing. Like what a relief.

Amy 1:02:21
Yeah, it was. I mean, the only thing that's happened. Post surgery basically is I've had an extreme amount of lows, which honestly, I've had a lot of those to my lifetime, but seven episodes where I lost consciousness.

Scott Benner 1:02:37
Why is that happening? Do you think that most of it was before

Amy 1:02:41
the Dexcom the worst, and was in 2016, my daughter was eight at the time alone with me. I've laid down because I was tired. And then I'm in an ambulance. I had a seizure. When I was home alone with her, and didn't I don't remember it. She FaceTimed my husband at work showed her what I look like showed him what I look like on the iPad. And the next thing I know, and I'm in an ambulance, and my blood was 13. And I had barely any blood pressure, barely any body temperature by the time I got to the hospital. But the best part of that, and I'm being sarcastic was they sent social workers and because I was alone with her. And even though it wasn't done intentionally, they said it wasn't safe. Because I was alone with her and I could have died and she was there by yourself. So they

Scott Benner 1:03:41
take your kid? No, no. These people in Massachusetts don't mess around.

Amy 1:03:48
Department of Child and Family Services called us. After I got out of the hospital and interviewed myself and my husband. And my husband was pitches and yelled at them. He's like, she had low blood sugar. I was at work. What if one of us, God forbid at a heart attack? Like you don't plan it? Yeah. So they interviewed us over the phone and like that was it in a closed whatever case they had that that was like, bad,

Scott Benner 1:04:18
like coals like second Halloween. We were sitting on the floor in this little condo we had and we were carving pumpkins. And I left the knife on the floor and cold kicked it and it cut his toe. Like they had enough. We had to go to the hospital. And we're like they're they're fixing them up. And they're talking to us and like what is happening? And then it hit me. I was like, Oh my God. They're trying to make sure we didn't hurt him. Yep, yeah. It was like, it was interesting because we were young. And I mean, it's obviously it was such an accident and like shocking, but like as it's happening, you're going Oh, I see. I see what's going on here was it? I can't imagine like yeah, you have a little blood sugar like what are you gonna do about it? Well,

Amy 1:05:01
I woke up in the ER with a nurse yelling at me like how could I be alone with my kid? Oh,

Scott Benner 1:05:09
maybe she should go to hell. So

Amy 1:05:11
I see him her my my daughter and my husband in the ER room and like they're really worried because I guess I could have died. Sure. No, I

Scott Benner 1:05:21
mean, obviously if

Amy 1:05:22
my daughter wasn't supposed to be home, either. Oh was sick, or she had a cold and didn't want to go to aftercare. And my husband was supposed to go to a Celtics game and not get home to like nine o'clock at night so I would have died. I don't want to say this is God or not saved me? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:38
my God. I don't want to say this is what you get for being a Celtics fan. But I think what happens I'm, by the way, Boston,

Amy 1:05:46
what do you expect?

Scott Benner 1:05:47
I mean, name is Brady. Of course it is. Not my choice. If I walk outside your Brady in Boston, every dog in town is gonna rock racing

Amy 1:05:55
your dog and half the kids.

Scott Benner 1:05:59
I I don't know why I was almost like, it almost made me laugh out loud thinking of like your daughter taking the iPad and being like pointing it at you and go, Hey, what's happening to the lady right now? Can someone like tell me what to do here? Like, it's like,

Amy 1:06:13
no, she's better with technology than me as she FaceTime my husband and said, What is this is what mom's doing? And I was having a seizure. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:06:22
I just mean like, it's like kids.

Amy 1:06:25
Yeah, but not call 911. But hey, dad, well, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:06:30
Let me let me jump up on Tik Tok and DM a couple people see if I can figure out what's going on here. Right. 100%

Amy 1:06:35
That's what what happened now. But yeah, so I had a Medtronic. And I'm not bashing them, because they served a purpose for me for a while. But I had the first sensor that came out, which wasn't great. And I ran out of sensors, because they would go bad all the time where you would get it would say bad reading or bad sensor, bad sensor, and then it would die. Right. So I ran out and I didn't have one on. And I fell asleep. And yeah, that's what happened.

Scott Benner 1:07:06
You have a modern looking sensor coming out. I heard Yeah, maybe they like I mean, took a while. But

Amy 1:07:12
love Dexcom they have they saved me over and over. So yeah. Are you using lollipop five now? Yep. And XCOM?

Scott Benner 1:07:19
How's that worked for you?

Amy 1:07:20
It works really well. For me. I still, like fidget with it. Like I override it much to my endos dismay. Yeah, I think it's pretty good. Yeah, very nice. Like it.

Scott Benner 1:07:35
I mean, it's just like a different world from what you grew up at.

Amy 1:07:38
It's Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, we wake up with alarms sometimes. Like, I still get a lot of lows, honestly. But my 81 C is between five and 5.5. And when it's below that, because it has been my endos like you had too many lows, except for except, you know, like that whole thing? Because I've been 4.5. Yeah, that's not great. Because of the loads.

Scott Benner 1:08:02
How Why do you think the loads happen? Like because I mean, now you're on an algorithm. It's trying not to make you low. So is it something about your digestion or your or what do you think it is? Sometimes

Amy 1:08:12
I give too much of a Bolus. Oh, yes. I'm listening to the remaster pro tips. Oh, good for that bump and nudge. And also the fix? Like, I'm pretty sure that something needs to be a while at adjust itself, but I probably need to reset it.

Scott Benner 1:08:30
Yeah. I mean, you just you shouldn't be getting low that often. That's all I know. Yeah, you're doing that.

Amy 1:08:35
You know how much I spend in glucose? It's insane. Um, the reason they don't have any left on Amazon. I

Scott Benner 1:08:42
figured this is the only sweet thing you're left eating. So you're like, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Well, yeah, I mean, I mean, in like, in all honesty, if you're having that many low settings or wrong somewhere or your Yeah, like being too aggressive with something somewhere like the

Amy 1:08:58
thing. Yeah. I don't know. Exactly. Bolus thing because I'm impatient. So if I spike after a meal, I'm like, Oh, my God. I gotta fix it right away. Because I don't want any more complications.

Scott Benner 1:09:10
What are we calling a low? What? Number 70.

Amy 1:09:15
So you're treating a 70? Yep. But not I'm just doing a little, like robot on glucose gummy. Yeah. Or one step not juice. I can't have it. You

Scott Benner 1:09:26
treat a 70 that will stay at 70 Or is it a falling so well? It's a falling 70 When you say you see a spike that you're like, I can't have this. I don't need more complications. What's that number for you? 150.

Amy 1:09:38
Okay, which is high. I mean, my doctors like you can stay at 141 50 I would love it. And then I hear all these people on the podcast or see them in the group. Like my kid was 110 like, Oh my God, and I'm like, 110 I love one.

Scott Benner 1:09:54
I wouldn't freak out about a 110 but, but do you ever say to the doctor hey, you You didn't have your stomach hurt for 18 years, you'll know what your what what I'm trying to avoid here. You know she? Yeah,

Amy 1:10:06
but she also said to me when I lost consciousness and ended up in the hospital with a seizure with my daughter. She said this is she said, I'm getting you a Dexcom right now. Yeah. And at Omni pod and if that ever happens again, I'm not going to be your doctor. Because I had had a lot of loss of consciousness. But that was the worst. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:10:30
I mean, I don't want to like I'm not like,

Amy 1:10:34
I'm not Vic doesn't want me to run low.

Scott Benner 1:10:36
Yeah, but I mean for you. Like I'm not victim shaming when I say this, but you're not good at this. So

Amy 1:10:41
100% Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, right.

Scott Benner 1:10:45
I know. But better now and getting better still.

Amy 1:10:48
Yes.

Scott Benner 1:10:50
How long? Have you been listening to the podcast? Two years, things gotten better since you started listening? Yep.

Amy 1:10:56
Okay. Yep. Cuz I learned I still learn stuff all the time. And I'm an old time diabetic. Like I learned tips. And like I said, I'm starting. I'm on number three of the remastered series. And I'm gonna listen to all of them. Because last time I didn't listen to all of them. Oh, you

Scott Benner 1:11:13
jumped around? Yep. Scott told you to listen straight through that Scott back then said specifically to people. I know. You're gonna want to skip over ones you don't think relate to but please just listen to them all. And then you were like, now I know better than him. Don't worry.

Amy 1:11:27
Like, I don't need to listen to the female hormones. I'm old. I'll skip that. I don't do MD I'll skip that. female

Scott Benner 1:11:35
hormones. One's a great. Like, it's a great episode just to kind of like, understand, like, what happens when there are different impacts that you don't expect even if you don't have those hormones, it still applies to something is happening to you.

Amy 1:11:48
Correct. I need to listen, I'm listening to that. I'm talking to the other

Scott Benner 1:11:51
people at this point, Amy, your soul, your soul, obviously. But I'm just telling you that Jenny and I sat down and we put together what is it like? It's a 26. Jesus. It's like it's 26 parts here. People are like 26 parts. Just shut up and listen to it. And it really well. It really will help you like it. I genuinely believe you listen. Yeah, you listen to that Pro Tip series. You've got an A one saying the low sixes or the high fives.

Amy 1:12:16
Yep. It's mine's in the mid to low five or hell yeah. But he told my Endo. I like quote you to my auntie. Yeah, no, she's good, though. I have a great endocrinologist. I'm

Scott Benner 1:12:30
really lucky. You go into Boston for your doctors, you know, you stay.

Amy 1:12:33
I stay in, like Concord mass at Emerson.

Scott Benner 1:12:37
You actually have a central mass like. Yeah, yes. You're not like real harsh, like you're on the coast. But it's still there a little bit. And you're Oh, crap.

Amy 1:12:48
You're talking about my accent? Yeah, sex. My husband has more of one because he grew up in Worcester. You're

Scott Benner 1:12:56
also aggressive in a nice way. Oh, no, I'm good with it. Because I grew up in Philly. Yeah, no, I know. You will not let me cut you off. Oh, I

Amy 1:13:06
cut everyone.

Scott Benner 1:13:08
You're like, I'm not talking. By the way. The one time you let me go. This is hilarious. I'm Thank God, I remember to bring this up. You're talking about the surgery for the gastroparesis. And I'm trying to understand the functionality of why did it help? And you were about to tell me, but you actually stopped and let me ask my question. And then you answered it. And I thought, Oh, God, she was just about to say this, and I stopped her. And you were fine. You were nice about it.

Amy 1:13:32
But yeah, I'm always nice about it.

Scott Benner 1:13:36
I don't think you're not nice. By the way. I just you have a northeast way about you that some people 100% Yeah, you get different parts of the country. It just sounds like we're like arguing with each other. And I'm just like, well, this is a lovely conversation. Oh my gosh, did we miss anything? How's that list looking? Work?

Amy 1:13:57
Good. I have one daughter, but not like we adopted her as a newborn. I don't. Maybe that's out of order. But wait, what?

Scott Benner 1:14:06
Are ya have a daughter? You've been talking about her the whole time? Yeah,

Amy 1:14:10
so we my husband and I My husband has a really rare genetic condition. And I'm gonna mess this up. But Fanconi syndrome. So it causes a problem with his bones and his sister. His older sister was the first one ever to get it. He's the second Oh, goody. And it causes like short stature. And so he's, like, you short like me. And he gets a lot of stress fractures and stuff like that. It's the old name was pseudo Flores and diabetes, no idea how to spell it. But it wasn't diabetes. So when we met, we met online and he said, Oh, I just want you to know, I have this and I said, I have diabetes. And he's like, Well, that's that and like we've been together ever since because we He immediately bonded from having a chronic illness our whole lives as kids probably were at Children's Hospital together never knew each other as good. This is why you adopted. Yeah, because they had never I couldn't get pregnant with the pacemaker in my stomach. And I they said, You'll have horrible morning sickness because of the gastroparesis. And Dave said, I don't want anyone. I don't want to pass this on to a child. Yeah, so, but we never thought we'd be able to adopt. We did like all different. We looked at all different things. And we adopted our daughter Maddie in 2009. It from Maine, and she was two pounds two ounces. She was a preemie so my insurance company, all of us she was in the NICU for months. Wow, you

Scott Benner 1:15:49
adopted a preemie? Yep. And yep. And so

Amy 1:15:54
you didn't even know answers. And she's bigger than me now. And tall after

Scott Benner 1:15:57
the crazy. How did you find her?

Amy 1:15:59
So we went through a private agency in Maine. And while they had a branch and mass, and we did an adoption profile, like a scrapbook like a deer birth mother a letter and a birth, a set of birth parents picked us to adopt the baby before you know before she was born, they met us we met them in Maine. And Maddie. The pregnancy was high risk because the birth mother has older than Maddie child, another biological child that she's parenting. And she was a preemie. She was born at 25 weeks, I guess. Or Yeah. But Maddie was due on March 13. It was due on Christmas. It was born on Christmas Eve. She was 26 weeks and eight days, or Yeah, something like that. And we got a call on Christmas morning that she was born and to take an hour pack up our house and be prepared to spend a few months up in Bangor Maine, in Maine

Scott Benner 1:17:03
in the winter. Oh my god, it's not even a real place. It's so hot. They

Amy 1:17:08
have a subway and a Quiznos or they did back then. We went to like every day, like

Scott Benner 1:17:14
Quiznos. Good for you mean I've told this story before but during my son's recruiting for baseball in college, there was a college in Maine that asked him to come play there. And it was such a good academic school that it was worth having the conversation. And he's on the phone with the coach the coaches like the heat the our fields heated Oh my god. What the hell again? And the benches in the dugout are heated and cooled. Like where? Where's Maine has like, I think it's Canada. Anyway, it's pretty close. Yeah. And at the end of the call they the guy said and every year we have a great hunter. Yeah, like we get together and we go on a team hunt my son's like, I want to play baseball in college, but I'm not up for shooting something and freezing myself for it. So I'm gonna go now. And I was like, yeah. Lovely people, by the way, would have been a great education. It was one of those things. I

Amy 1:18:11
know school, I think. Yeah, you probably do think I do. My husband's friend went there. But super cold. Super cool. So Maddie was born in a level. And in a level three NICU, luckily, and we were there for five and a half weeks in Maine. It was amazing experience actually were there. We took leaves from work unpaid. And we're with her, like, parenting her from the first day.

Scott Benner 1:18:38
I'm gonna ask a difficult question. Yeah. Did you think there was a chance she might not make it?

Amy 1:18:42
Not really, because when we got there on Christmas Day, they said she was breathing on her own. And medically she looked okay. They knew that the baby was going to be born early. Because the medical condition that the birth mother had, and that she had a previous preemie. But she was breathing on her own. Okay, for the most part, so she looked perfect. When we got there. She was this little tiny dot. I mean, matter of time. She had a clementine for a head, like for the size. Let's just put his she was a Yeah. And if you saw her now and she's taller than us. Wow. So the NICU nurses called her a feisty broad. My baby. And she is one. Yeah. As a 13 year old. So yeah. So she does. And I probably shouldn't say it wasn't a bogus because she might listen, I doubt it. She has reactive attachment disorder. I don't know if you know what that is. I think there was somebody on the podcast who adopted from I'm not sure if it was foster care or adopted an older child or something that I remember listening to it on one of your episodes. And typically, newborns don't get it. Sometimes they do. And my child has a phys it's a neurological disorder from gets from being adopted.

Scott Benner 1:20:06
A mental disorder rare but serious condition in which an infant or young child doesn't establish healthy attachments with parents. Yep, that's weird. I didn't know what

Amy 1:20:17
the rest of her life.

Scott Benner 1:20:18
So how does

Amy 1:20:19
that present lots of rage from her breaking things. It's gotten better. We've had very pensive therapy for the family and she goes to therapy we all do. She needs extra help with some things because she has this need to be perfect. She feels shamed from being adopted as what they tell us. But she won't let us talk about the adoption. She knows. We're super happy. She's adopted. We're proud of it. We want to tell everyone, but she doesn't want to stick out. Interest though. She doesn't want to feel different. She doesn't want any of that. And she looks like my husband. So she doesn't tell anyone. And yeah, but it's the best thing. We were so lucky. Yeah. So no, good.

Scott Benner 1:21:13
Well, I'm glad she's with me too. I'm gonna share something that happened in the middle of the conversation that I kept to myself at the time, but I am my birth mother, because I'm adopted. My birth. My birth mother died during gastric bypass surgery. Oh, no, that's the thing I found out like, obviously, I'm

Amy 1:21:31
sorry. I know she passed away because I heard you mentioned. Oh, yeah. So

Scott Benner 1:21:35
when did she have it? Because it was a long time ago. So yeah, people die. died when we even considered when my wife, let me just be clear, but my wife forced me to look into my like birth parents. Because I'm a boy, I didn't care. Yeah, yeah. But that's what I learned. Like she, the way her sister explained it to me, became despondent, over having to give up her baby, and became morbidly obese through that process, eventually tried to do something about it and had a cardiac arrest during the surgery. Oh, my gosh, but she was like, she was like, 40, like in her early 40s. I think that's awful. Yeah. I want you to know what you appreciate. You're saying you're sorry. I haven't. I mean, I, I have no attachment to the idea at all. So yeah, so I've heard

Amy 1:22:25
you talk about it before. Yeah. And I mean, honestly, Maddie is obviously a child she is she doesn't, either. And if that makes sense, like, doesn't want to talk about it doesn't feel like the best. The biggest gift that her birth mother gave her was to let us parent or really she doesn't get it. And hopefully she will. And she'll have a good happy life. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:22:52
You learn a lot as you're growing up. That would probably be Well, yes. Oh,

Amy 1:22:56
she's smarter than us. She's 10 steps ahead of us. She's Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:22:59
I don't know, the FaceTime thing with a nine one instead of 911. Yeah,

Amy 1:23:04
yeah. No, that's sir.

Scott Benner 1:23:05
I was gonna say actually told me about the reactive attachment that actually I was like, I wonder if she didn't have as much of a like, go like, Oh, my God, what's happening because of that? It actually is what happened to me. Like when you said that, it was like, Oh, I wonder if that had something to do with that.

Amy 1:23:19
No, she's probably like, oh, there's a landline here. I don't know what that is. I use this phone. Yeah, exactly. She Well, she probably had a phone then actually. Well, Amy,

Scott Benner 1:23:30
I appreciate you coming on and sharing this with everybody. It's just really terrific. Thank you. Thanks. No, it was it was really kind of you to do. No,

Amy 1:23:37
I want to I'm hoping that somebody that has gastroparesis, but fit and feels well, I hope nobody feels awful, but and they haven't thought of different things to help that. I'm happy to talk to anyone or maybe they'll do some research and configure it out. Okay. I

Scott Benner 1:23:54
would be lovely. Alright, when this episode goes up, we can tag you in the Facebook group if you want.

Amy 1:23:59
That'd be awesome. Do you know when it will go up? Oh, sure.

Scott Benner 1:24:03
Yes, sometime next year. I am a victim of my own success. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, it's okay. It's okay. The odd thing is, is that it doesn't matter to the people who are listening at all, ya know, the only thing that happens is like in a situation like this, I think, Oh, this is information I'd like to get out. And I have this feeling. Almost every time I record, I'm like, I'm gonna move this one up. Like I always like I get down on like, this one's gonna have to go up next week, obviously, because of the thing someone shared that I think, Oh, God, I thought that same thing yesterday and a week ago. And last month, they just keep going just keep doing it the way you're doing it. So it's weird for you. But for the people listening, it's meaningless, you know, when we record versus when they get to hear it, and I already put them up. So I tried. I went to five a week. It was like, I'm like, I'll catch up and I still have a backlog of ADFS I'm looking at Oh my

Amy 1:25:00
gosh. So So literally like this time next year, it should be up.

Scott Benner 1:25:05
No, it'll be six, seven months ish. In that space. Who knows? Yeah,

Amy 1:25:11
do I get? I don't hear it before everyone else here.

Scott Benner 1:25:14
No, no, that's not gonna happen. I don't have the

Amy 1:25:18
how bad my voice sounds you know, you always think you've sound much better when you're recording than you do. Yeah, that's me, not me. I

Scott Benner 1:25:25
love the sound of my voice.

Amy 1:25:26
No, your voice sounds great. But I'm worried about mine. Now your sounds right, my daughter fake records.

Scott Benner 1:25:31
I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I tell everybody. And I'll say it while we're being recorded. You're the only one who has an expectation about what you sound like. No one else knows you're a voice to everybody else. So you sound completely normal to everybody. Well, that makes sense. And you're not screechie And like, because there's there's a couple of I mean, I guess like, Let's not lie, there's a couple of voices that are hard to listen to. But like voice types, you don't have one of them. Oh, good. Okay. You're terrific. You have a nice you have a nice even voice. I love it. Well, thank

Amy 1:26:06
you. Of course,

Scott Benner 1:26:07
hold on one second for me.

Jalen is an incredible example of what's so many experience living with diabetes. You show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes define you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong and together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community for to share your own story. Visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box and look out online for the hashtag Medtronic champion. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoy my full conversation with Jalen coming up in just a moment. A huge thank you to ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Are you tired of having to change your sensor every seven to 14 days with the ever sent CGM? You just replace it once every six months via a simple in office visit. Learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juice. Box. Arden has been getting her diabetes supplies from us med for three years. You can as well us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 My thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode. And for being longtime sponsors of the Juicebox Podcast. There are links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors. You have questions Scott and Jenny have answers. There are now 19 ask Scott and Jenny episodes. That's where Jenny Smith and I answer questions from the audience. If you'd like to see a list of them, go to juicebox podcast.com up into the menu and click on Ask Scott and Jenny. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation. But please give the private Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast. A healthy once over Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. The group now has 47,000 members in it, it gets 150 new members a day, it is completely free. And at the very least you can watch other people talk about diabetes, and everybody is welcomed type one type two gestational loved ones, everyone is welcome. Go up into the feature tab of the private Facebook group. And there you'll see lists upon lists of all of the management series that are available to you for free in the Juicebox Podcast, becoming a member of that group. I really think it will help you it will at least give you community you'll be able to kind of lurk around see what people are talking about. Pick up some tips and tricks. Maybe you can ask a question or offer some help Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.co

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#1167 Curse of the Billy Goat

Eoin is 26, lives in Chicago and has had T1D for 8 years.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1167 of the Juicebox Podcast

today I'll be speaking with Owen he's 26 years old, he's had type one diabetes for eight years. His background is in Biomedical Engineering and he'd love to work for Dexcom or insulin. Oh and symptoms of type one diabetes reared their head initially at a Cubs game. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you have type one diabetes, or the caregiver of someone with type one and a US resident, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox and fill out the survey. The survey will take you just 10 minutes that's how long it took me. The questions are very easy, you'll know the answers to them. And when you do this, you will be helping with type one diabetes research T one D exchange.org/juice box right there from your sofa you can help when you place your first order for ag one with my link you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D. Drink ag one.com/juice box. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. This is the meter that my daughter has on her person right now. It is incredibly accurate and waiting for you at contour next one.com/juicebox This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy earth.com Cozy Earth is where I get my clothing, linens and towels from they are incredibly comfortable and temperate. I love them. I really do love them. And I love that I can give you an offer code that will save you 40% off of your entire order. Just use the offer code juice box at checkout and you will save 40% at cosy earth.com This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox.

Eoin 2:28
Well, hello everyone. I'm Oh in. I've been in type one for about eight years now. And I live in Chicago lived in the Midwest my whole life I grew up in the suburbs. So my background is in biomedical engineering. I graduated probably like four years ago or so. And I've been working in research ever since. And I've been wanting to get into like, you know, it would be it would be a dream to work at like insolate or ducks calm. And I definitely applied for like, at least 10 jobs each at those companies. And I didn't get any of them.

Scott Benner 3:07
Oh, and how old are you?

Unknown Speaker 3:08
Oh,

Scott Benner 3:10
I'm 2626. Okay, and you were diagnosed? Would you say years ago?

Eoin 3:15
Yeah, it was like 2014. About

Scott Benner 3:18
About 18 years. Were you still in high school or out?

Eoin 3:22
So yeah, I was still in high school. I was actually 17 Okay, and I got diagnosed. Mulder like late onset juvenile?

Scott Benner 3:32
Those are words most of us don't use anymore. Juvenile in general is one. I haven't heard that in a while. But eight years ago. Okay. So let's, let's ask a couple questions first. So is there any other type one in your family?

Eoin 3:46
No. So my maternal grandfather had like type two and he had like hypothyroidism and then eventually Parkinson's. But no one else in either side of my family has type one. Okay.

Scott Benner 4:01
But he did have a couple of autoimmune things he had. Yeah, thyroid and probably Parkinson's. I think we could call it on me until at least inflammation based. And that's your grandfather on your whose side mom's side or mom's side? Okay. No one else has hypothyroidism or celiac or anything like that. No, no,

Eoin 4:23
not that I know of, at least for like celiac. I don't. I don't think any of my aunts do. I guess one of my cousins does have some like autoimmune stuff that I don't know exactly what it is. But I know it's auto.

Scott Benner 4:36
Okay. So yeah, I mean, a little bit, not a lot, but still, it's interesting. So when you're diagnosed, what do you remember about that time?

Eoin 4:46
Well, so it was in the summer and my mom is a she's like been a nurse her whole life and kind of does more like admin stuff at the hospitals now, but I I was going to a Cubs game with my cousin and she's a nurse practitioner and driving down Addison like from the highway all the way to the field, I probably had to go to the bathroom like two or three times, sitting in traffic. Of course, it was probably like, an hour almost. And she was like, This is not normal. And like, I've been complaining to my mom for like weeks. And like, asking her for like, I needed like a insulated like, the Hydroflask the really big one, so I can just like fill it up with a ton of water. And so at first when I started showing symptoms, my mom like jokingly was like, you're probably diabetic. And I was like, Haha, okay, but so then that like festered in my head for like, probably two or three weeks. And then I went to the Cubs game. And my cousin was like, Well, I'm gonna check your blood sugar when we get back. And so she never checked my blood sugar. So I was like, I need to find out. And so that morning after I like, texted my mom, and asked if I could, like come in, and she could just check my blood sugar. And so I went out to breakfast with some friends. And then we went to the I went to the like, what's my mom's work because she checked my blood sugar, and it was like, 394. And so then we like, called are called My pediatrician. And then like, she set us up with an endocrinologist. And so then that day, we went to that day, we went first to my pediatrician, they took my agency, and it was like unreadable, obviously. And then, like, the pediatrician passed me on to my first endocrinologist who like, got me insulin, like meter, you know, like, kind of went over the real like, short, little spiel they give Yeah. And I was pretty much on my way I was on, like, MDI, and finger pricks for probably like six months. And then I they put me on the pump, and the ducks calm. I think it was like the G three. When I first had it, I

Scott Benner 7:13
remember G four. And then there was this weird time where there was seven and seven plus, and that somehow came before four. So I don't I don't remember a G three. But the numbering system was a little weird in the beginning. So I don't know how to ever figure that out. But they got you on that quickly in six months. Yeah. Was that your doing? Or did they did your doctor's office push forward?

Eoin 7:38
Oh, I definitely wanted to I like want all the like best new advanced stuff. So like they knew that I wanted if they're like, You need to know how to do all this first. And so I mean, I did. And then like my second visit, my agency was like 10. And then like, kept going down by twos pretty much like every time I would go, yeah. And then like throughout high school, my ANC was probably like in the eights. Because, you know, like, I don't know, I was a high schooler and like, I didn't pay attention as much, probably, I would imagine. But yeah. And like, my parent, I had like a lot of independence. Like, my mom wasn't texting me like, Hey, I see your blood sugar's dropping, have you like had a snack? So I just, and if they knew what to do, I think, would they know how to use the PDM? I don't know. But you know, they know, like, what to look for symptoms. So I mean,

Scott Benner 8:43
they understand kind of high level, but as far as like actual management, you were you were diagnosed at a time where they probably thought like he's old enough to know this. And that. Is that the vibe of outline? Yeah. Also, I don't think that the first the first x columns didn't share like that. So I don't even think they could have followed you back then.

Unknown Speaker 9:04
Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. Right. That's interesting.

Scott Benner 9:07
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Eoin 11:52
I don't really know I think I think once I got I know, I got the Dexcom before the Omni pod. So like I think, you know, I've feel like I've heard this a dozen times, like, once you can see you're like how your blood sugar reacts to like, whatever it is you're doing, like really get a better idea of like, how to control it and

Scott Benner 12:12
like, yeah, of course.

Eoin 12:15
So I think MDI wasn't as like, I mean, having to do the calculations, I guess was like, good to like know that. But then I mean, it's obviously so much easier. Just type it in.

Scott Benner 12:28
You think that's that's probably the entirety of it, right? They want you to be able to count carbs. And do the math for how much insulin you

Eoin 12:36
need. Yeah, definitely. I

Scott Benner 12:39
don't know that you couldn't figure that out if you're using a pump to it, but but I guess I guess so. There was no great learning that came from your MDI time. No. Nothing magical happened. You didn't feel like you leveled up or anything like that.

Eoin 12:57
Well, I definitely felt like I leveled up when I got the pump and the ER and the ducks calm. You got all this stuff on your body. I think it looks pretty cool. I know some, some diabetics are like, they'd rather hide it, but I don't know. I think you go for it. Yeah, go for it because I was a server at Texas Roadhouse. Like when I was in college, like, getting up college, and I like, was at this table and their kid was like, newly diagnosed, and to like super, super ashamed, like, embarrassed. And like the mom was like, Look at he's just wearing his, his pump right on his arm like that, like, he doesn't care. Like it's okay. And I was like, wow, like, this is kind of a cute moment, where I felt like, hopefully I could, like, not help this kid out. But you know, at least he had some example of like, someone with diabetes that, you know, didn't let it like, hold them back socially.

Scott Benner 13:58
Yeah. Oh, and I don't know, I think that that helped. You know, like, just, I'm not trying to take credit for it. But it's um, it's a big deal. Like you did that thing you or your device where he could say it, and then it gives him the confidence maybe to not feel so alone or ashamed or however he was feeling so I think it's really nice. Actually. You got and you said you get the pump first or CGM first, CGM first Dexcom first, how long were you wearing? Dexcom before you went on the pot,

Eoin 14:31
I think it was like two or three months so it wasn't long

Scott Benner 14:34
pretty quickly. Okay. How do you know about these things? Your mom you do research online. The doctors talk to you about it. Doctors

Eoin 14:41
and research. Not my mom. Yeah, so like the first endocrinologist I had I really didn't like him. And like, I don't know, I just it didn't I didn't feel like he really cared or like was very involved. But I've been seeing in there were a couple in between And that also were duds. But I've been with the same endo for like, four years now. And she's just amazing. I love her. She's out of University of Chicago health system. And yeah, and she would she was, she was a big part in like, kind of getting me like, the five nominee pot five. And then like, before that she would always, like bring up when she would talk about like, when it was the Omnipod. Horizon. She brought that up to me. So I mean, yeah, me, mostly her and like, just my own research.

Scott Benner 15:35
Oh, and what makes a good endocrinologist versus one that you didn't enjoy being with?

Eoin 15:41
My current one? I don't know. She's just like, very sweet and like, like, mother, like, I don't know what to how to describe it, like nurturing. And like, when I meet with her, you know, we'll go over the, like, the gluco free month printout and like, find trouble areas. I mean, it's hard to say

Scott Benner 16:05
and he's it more of a vibe, then then you just Yeah, yeah. You just sort of get along with this one. In a good way versus some in the past that you haven't. Yeah,

Eoin 16:14
might not even I think it really comes down to that. Okay.

Scott Benner 16:18
Yeah, not even so much maybe about knowledge. It's maybe more about style, personality and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's

Eoin 16:27
like, knowing that or like, thinking that they care more. Like, I just feel like she cared more than she cares more than like the previous ones. And so I think that's like, that's a big, she

Scott Benner 16:42
gives you a feeling that she's actually invested in you. And it feels like a personal relationship. Yeah, yes. Okay. That makes sense. Do you feel like she has more knowledge than you about diabetes? Yeah,

Eoin 16:57
I definitely think there haven't. There hasn't been like a moment with her where she's like, kind of said something that I was like, ah, like, that's not really how it goes. And like, like, if you were actually diabetic, like, I think she really understands what it's like.

Scott Benner 17:13
Excellent. That's really great. And is that dumb luck? You just kind of fell into this one.

Eoin 17:18
Yeah, it was, well, I was really looking around at this point. Because I was seeing one in the suburbs, I was living in the city and, like, go to the suburbs. And so I was like, pretty new to find one in the city. And so I took my time finding her. And, yeah, I actually have an appointment later this month. And it's, I had to like cancel my last one, because I had this appointment scheduled before I had a new job. And so it's been like six months since I've seen the Endo. So that's great.

Scott Benner 17:48
Tell me again, what you went to college for?

Eoin 17:52
Biomedical Engineering,

Scott Benner 17:53
you're doing research, but what is that, like entail? Well,

Eoin 17:57
the research I was doing right out of college was at in a lab at Northwestern, they were like a skeletal, and like cardiac muscle tissue lab. And I was doing like a lot of wet lab experiments. So like, you know, taking tissues from a mouse with muscular dystrophy, because that's like a musculoskeletal disease. And, like, you know, we would give some of the mice like a drug that would hopefully rebuild the muscle, and then like, another group, like, wouldn't have that. So you know, it was like, taking the tissues or muscle muscles from them. And then like, breaking that all down. And then like, analyzing using assays, like, we saw this much more growth, when we gave them this drug. And then like, we didn't see anyone who gave them this. So it was a lot, a lot of like, pipetting, what lab bench stuff, but my current job, it's a medical device company. And so they specialize in like vital sign monitoring. And it's using these like non invasive sensors. I can show you turn my camera Oh. So it's just like a small so this is the adhesive right here, right? And there's like two electrodes on the back part of it. So it can measure ECG, heart rate, respiratory rate, there's a temperature sensor in there. So it can measure core body temperature, and like an accelerometer so it can measure like step count. Soon it will be able to like detect falls. So there's a lot that they can do. Where does that go on your on your chest? Yeah, so like right in the center, right? Like underneath your like where your collarbones okay.

Scott Benner 19:45
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Eoin 20:49
So like I'm the clinical researcher, so like if if they like want to change something on the sensor aisle has to be like validated to make sure that now these changes are actually going to benefit the sensor. So like, I have to like conduct the studies and like compile the data, give the data to whoever. But I've like always been into technology, like my whole life. I remember as a kid, like as probably like an eight year old asking Santa for like a computer. And my parents were like, Okay, you're crazy. It's kind of a good mix of like, hands on sort of like research and then like working with this technology. And like, there's also like, a big part of the sensors, the adhesive. So, you know, I've definitely been handling adhesives for a while now. So I think that's kind of why they hired me was the kind of exposure I've had to this kind of stuff to like the work I do, I really, really like it. I don't know, the sensors are just so cool. They have their own app. So like right now they're FDA approved for clinical research use. And so we're working towards like hospital, like low acuity monitoring. So like, for example, like not the ICU. But like if you know, someone has like outpatient, like, recovering for like, you know, three hours or so it's kind of that application, but there's also so that there's the chest sensor, and then there's a limb sensor. So it's like a wireless pulse oximeter. And so they all connect to each other and will display on an app, the app that is displaying all the data is designed to look like a bedside monitor like panel, giving all of the like information, and like clear, easy to read way. And so then we also have like a small one. Super small sensor. That's strictly motion.

Scott Benner 22:51
So yeah, what is that? Like? Maybe an inch, inch and a half long?

Eoin 22:56
Yeah, yeah, it's probably like an inch long. Oh, but so there's like a lot of applications for this, the accelerometer in it is so high frequency and sensitive that it can detect like, heart rate, like the pulse like from your skin beating like, on to it. So like, this is used for like Scratch, detecting scratch events. So like, when you put it on your hand like this, and adhesive there. There's an algorithm to detect like when you're scratching because we've had clients that want to look into like eczema, like people with severe eczema. They're like how much they scratch themselves at night because some some people will like scratch themselves for awe

Scott Benner 23:40
in their sleep.

Eoin 23:42
Yes in their sleep. Wow. And so like they just want to see like how many scratching events like they have a night and then like another part of it was like there's a like a haptic like feedback in here. And so like when it would detect the scratching, it would vibrate, hoping to discourage it. Wow.

Scott Benner 24:03
But that's and these are more clinical use spaces like they're not for personal use yet.

Eoin 24:11
Yeah, they're not for personal use yet. You can also diagnose sleep apnea with it. And I know that is like potentially that's something you could get like a prescription for like a prescription for our kit. And like get it take it home where the sensor and like where the finger clip no cords no wires and then you just start you just you know start collection go to sleep. You don't have to like go in first sleep study where all the like equipment. Yeah,

Scott Benner 24:42
that's crazy. So I went on your intake. You didn't put much but you but you put was interesting. It says you know that you were diagnosed at the age you were diagnosed but then he just says recreational drugs. Well, what did you want to talk about what was said? You said? What are some of the themes you hope to cover juvenile diabetes, recreational drugs, independent management, and I've never been hospitalized. That's what you're

Unknown Speaker 25:15
okay.

Scott Benner 25:18
What made you want to come on the show?

Eoin 25:19
You know what, Scott? I'm gonna I'm going to be completely honest. I just thought it was so annoying how involved you are in Ardens diabetes care? Okay.

Speaker 1 25:31
We should talk about that then. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about.

Eoin 25:36
I mean, it's just because I feel like I've had the complete opposite, like, experience. And I mean, I think I've been fine. Like, I haven't had any episodes. I haven't like passed out. I'm gonna be hospitalized. Right. And so I don't know when like, nowadays my anyone see is like, my last day Wednesday was like, 6.1. Cool. So I don't know. I mean, I feel like when you don't give people that independence, like, how are they going to know what to do when something comes up like that? They don't know. What how to deal with.

Scott Benner 26:11
Do you feel like Arden doesn't have independence?

Eoin 26:13
I mean, no, she has independence. I just think there's like, oversight. That, like, she has, like, you know, you're you I forget what episode this was, but like you were texting her like, like what I said before, like, hey, looks like your blood sugar's dropping. Are you gonna like correct for it? Right. I don't know. Like, I think that's too involved, like you should, like she should like just be monitoring that herself. Like, I don't understand. I don't know, as an 18 year old. I don't like that just seems completely different to me. No, I mean, I mean, it's fantastic that you're like that. And it's I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all. I just think it's different.

Scott Benner 26:57
Different than what you had. Yes. Is there any part of you that wishes that someone was was helping you?

Eoin 27:03
II? I mean, yes. But I don't think I would want as much like micromanaging.

Scott Benner 27:12
So. So I think that's where it's possible that it's lost in translation a little bit, because you hear a thing in an episode of a podcast, and it probably, you can leave that feeling like that's the entirety of my world. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so, I mean, I have, I'm falling Arden on Dexcom, for example. And my alarm is set between 70 and 120. So let me go back. I'm gonna go back 12 hours. And you tell me how many times you think my phone has alarmed. Three, once. And it was while she was in the shower. So her blood sugar always goes up in the shower lately. So it's not even a thing I paid attention to. So she was getting ready to leave to go to college, to drive home, back home back to school, she's got a 700 mile drive to go back to school. She's actually about I don't know now, four or five, she's probably probably around Virginia now. So maybe she's gone maybe 300 miles or something like that. And I haven't, I haven't looked at my pick the phone up to talk to you about it. But I haven't looked at this Dexcom app, since let me see the last time it got my attention. It got my attention at one o'clock in the morning, when she dipped down low for a minute. And other than that, this is the first time I'm looking at it. So it's 330 in the afternoon now, so I haven't looked at this in 14 hours. Right? And so, but if she's off at college or somewhere else, and I get a low alarm, and I mean, that's going to be 70 I take a look at it. If it's just 70 I wouldn't think anything of it. I mean, honestly, I think if it went to 65 I wouldn't think much about it. But if she looked like it was still falling, and it looked dangerous. Dangerous isn't even the right word. If it looked emergent, like it wasn't going to stop falling, then I might send her a text to say hey, are you okay? But other than that, I mean, I don't know it's a thing you could have heard a year ago or two years ago and it's hard to know exactly. I would tell you that I am as disconnected from diabetes management between her and I as you this anyone probably could imagine. But when I'm on here I'm talking about it. So that's I don't know if it doesn't I guess that kind of get excuse that a little bit. Like Like if you don't let's think of someone else who's pod do listen any other podcasts?

Eoin 29:52
No, sir. No, it's yours. Okay, about diabetes at least Yeah,

Scott Benner 29:57
well, even other ones like you know, if you listen to one from a Comedian or something like that, you know, there plenty of times they're not joking around, you just don't hear it, because that's not what they do on their podcast. And that's my assumption, because I don't feel I mean, forget how I feel I don't look in on our diabetes that frequently. I mean, my my extent of my contact with her diabetes in the last four days, even is, I think she sent me a text once and said, Hey, could you throw a juice in here? Because she was on a call with somebody, and she couldn't get off the call. And she asked me to fill our pump this morning, while she was running around, like putting stuff in her car, she's like, Hey, you fill that pot, I have to put a pod on before I go. And I think that's pretty much it. But anyway, I take your point that when I also, this is not the first time somebody's brought it up to me. And listen, I don't know, right? Because this is me assuming people from, you know, just talking to them. But I've either heard people who had a hard time when they were kids, and no one helped them. And they almost feel like I wish someone would have helped me. Or there are those people who are a little older. And they've really persevered through something. And believe that that perseverance has taught them something and then think if other people aren't thrown into that fire. They don't get to have the outcome. I just think there are a lot of different ways to get to the outcome is my I guess that would be my put my opinion on it. Yeah, yeah. So definitely. But that's fine. You just want to come on here to say that to me.

Eoin 31:29
I mean, no, that wasn't the only thing.

Scott Benner 31:31
I know you have drugs?

Eoin 31:35
I know, I don't know exactly what recreational drugs, I meant.

Scott Benner 31:40
You don't know which ones you meant, or now that you're being recorded? You don't know which ones you want to admit. So

Eoin 31:46
you know, I don't know if I'm going to answer that. No, no, probably just like, like occasional marijuana use. I have like noticed that whenever if my blood sugar is like, normal, or let's say it's like slightly falling. But like not falling to where I'm like worried about it. After I will smoke, it will like drop. And so like if it was falling is going to just fall even more. And I just think in terms of like, I think it has to do like insulin sensitivity. Like when you

Scott Benner 32:22
become so you think you become more sensitive? Is there any chance that you have a low lying level of stress or anxiety most of the time that gets taken away? And then you're not being your blood sugar's not being pushed up by adrenaline and anxiety, that kind of thing?

Eoin 32:37
Okay, well, now that you say that, I have never thought about that. But that very well. Could also does your blood sugar thing that goes into it? Does it fall in the shower? No.

Scott Benner 32:49
Do you find showers very relaxing? Do you think in the shower? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So maybe that's not a relaxing? Shower? So if you say so my thought would be, I don't know how we would make you more insulin sensitive. But I can see how if you were and this isn't top of my mind right now, by the way, because it's back to school right now, while we're recording this, and the number of posts that I'm seeing on the Facebook group, from people whose children are going back to school and they're like, oh, kids, blood sugar is going up in the morning. And as soon as like, that makes sense to me, because they're either super excited to go to school, or super anxious about school or don't want to be there. But they're probably having some sort of a visceral reaction that's pushing their blood sugar up. And then a lot of people will see that pass after the first couple of weeks of school when they kind of settle in. And then some people don't like I can tell you that there was an amount of insulin when Arden was in high school. There was an amount of insulin she needed throughout the day in school to keep her blood sugar down where it was, but almost exactly 15 minutes, 20 minutes after school was over and whatever pressure came from school. Once that was gone, she had to eat something, because all of that insulin that we needed throughout the day to hold down that, you know, adrenaline stress, anxiety spike. It suddenly was still left there, but her stress and anxiety lessen, and boom, her blood sugar would fall. So you had about 20 minutes after school was over for her to eat something every day. And then it was fine throughout the rest of the night. It's just her and she didn't need as much basil when she wasn't in school is interesting, actually.

Eoin 34:30
Yeah, it's cortisone. That's gonna. The cortisol.

Scott Benner 34:37
Yeah, cortisone. What's he gonna He's got good stuff over there you are you injected cortisone. That'll push your blood sugar up by

Eoin 34:44
the way cortisone, Jesus. Oh, yeah. These steroids.

Scott Benner 34:48
Have you ever had one of those shots? No. Arden just got one last month in her shoulder. She has some inflammation in her shoulder and they gave her a cortisone shot. And man, I'm not kidding you like it did not take an hour for her blood sugar to start going up. And yeah, and then it needed. I want to say like 30% more insulin maybe more for like two and a half days, almost three days. That's really something and then you could watch the tail off and and it was kind of back to normal. If not one quick injection it was it was kind of crazy, actually. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Do you know anybody else who has diabetes?

Eoin 35:28
Yeah, yeah, I have a couple. Well, I have one friend, I guess. One die of St. We live right by each other. We've been friends since like high school. But like when I was diagnosed, we weren't like, she was a year older than me. So like she was out of school. And I like didn't really know she was until like later in life, now that we like live by each other. So we like, share, you know, supplies whenever like one of us needs to. And it's weird. Like every time we hang out, our blood sugar's will be like the same. And we'll like compare. So she's like a nutritionist. And I'll like calibrate with her. I'll be like, Okay, wait. So this. So what would you give for like this, like this, like this meal? And she would. And what I'm trying to say is that we would both be. What I'm trying to say is that my carb counting is good. Because Miss nutritionist is always like, right where I'm guessing that. So like, it's nice to have, like a friend like that where you can kind of like really dive in to like each other's data. Right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:43
And just check against each other. Like what do you how many carbs? Do you think this is? Or do you like Bolus for the fat and this or not? Or do you get involved in that like Bolus thing for fat and protein in your food?

Eoin 36:55
Yeah, so like if I'm gonna be eating like a high fat meal, like pasta pizza, I'm gonna well since the five doesn't have extent Bolus. I'll just like give an additional like Bolus after after like some of the mealtime insulin that I took kind of like, went away.

Scott Benner 37:14
Yeah, you almost Pre-Bolus The fat rice that's coming. Yeah. What's that? About? Like an hour into the meal?

Eoin 37:21
Yeah, I would, I would honestly say like, maybe a little bit more than an hour? is when I'll see it. Because I would I usually do expect it like around an hour after the meal. But I'm always waiting for it.

Scott Benner 37:34
More like not could be like, I mean, I usually see with people like hour, 90 minutes, like in that space somewhere. But you still have to get the insulin in time to catch it. Or then you're, then you're chasing it and it's high. You can't get it back anyway. Yeah. Let's, and where did you learn to do all that? Is that just trial and error from having diabetes for this long? Yeah, it's excellent.

Eoin 37:55
I mean, I yeah, I haven't had any. I had a diabetes educator when I like was first diagnosed. But then like, for some reason, insurance doesn't cover that question mark. Like when I at least when probably like, six years or seven years ago, at this point, we had to like pay for it. And it was expensive. So it was like, Well, I'm just gonna, like, do this on my own. But you know, it's been fine. No,

Scott Benner 38:24
it sounds like it's going really well. Actually. I mean, six months? Yeah, no, yeah. No, I'm

Eoin 38:28
like, like, I just feel so that I knew a couple other diabetics in high school, and I weren't really friends with them. And I just feel like I have a completely different diabetic life than they do. Like, I just feel like I'm way more in control and like not, I don't know, bouncing everywhere. I don't have any other like complications. And so I know like, I know, that's like not everyone's case. I'm definitely lucky to have a lacks diabetes experience so far. Knock on wood.

Scott Benner 39:00
Definitely knock on wood. Yeah. Do you think that's just because you took it? So seriously, when you were younger? Yeah,

Eoin 39:10
definitely. I mean, my mom, she always says like, if one of my kids were to get diabetes, like it's best for Ellen, because she thinks I'm like the most responsible and like, proactive child. I have. I'm like the oldest of four. And so I mean, she's kinda I mean, maybe, right? Yeah, I just, I feel like I just care for it more.

Scott Benner 39:35
You said early in the beginning, you didn't ask much. So was there a moment that kind of drew you towards doing better or an age something in your life?

Eoin 39:44
Yeah, I think like, halfway through college. I definitely like kind of noticed that I just wasn't feeling like as great all the time. I was a little groggy. I was always stressed. So like, I could literally I would literally make my blood sugar like rise, if, if I like saw it going down, I would, I would try to stress myself out and I swear, I would like be able to bring my blood sugar up. And this was like pre Omnipod. Five. Yeah, just by like, stressing. Well,

Scott Benner 40:18
I have to tell you when Arden was first diagnosed, and she was a little, little kid, like three, I think this story is from when she was maybe three or four years old. And that's going back like 1314 years ago, I realized that if she was getting low, and I couldn't get her to drink something that I could actually pick a fight with her. And like, piss her off a little bit, like almost get into a little argument, and it would catch the low and bring it back. So I think you're talking about the same thing. I actually think you're saying the exact same thing. Yeah, that was it happened the first time by mistake. Oh, and it was just like, you know, this like begging, drink this please. That turned into, like, yelling that turned into her yelling back and being upset. And then I was like, oh my god, it stopped the below. And then there was a handful. There's a handful of times that if we couldn't get her to eat, we would just engage her like that and try to just get him riled up a little bit. And it would stop it. I mean, we didn't do it much longer after she was older, and she could understand a little better. But it saved just once or twice. I'm not gonna lie. That's really interesting. You said that? Yeah. I mean, what is it? I mean, 26. Right. So I don't know how dating is. I'm pretty old. So I don't know how it goes anymore. But But do you? When you're dating? Or if you are? Do you share this with people? If so, how soon into a relationship? Like, what's your level of expectation from them about diabetes?

Eoin 41:46
Yeah, I'm like, not a I would rather like they know. And I like don't care, talking about it, explaining it to them. But in my experience, like, it's been fine. People kind of find it. People that I've at least gone out with, have found it cool. I guess, like not cool. But like, interesting, at least. Yeah, interesting. You know, I have all this stuff for it. Do

Scott Benner 42:10
you go? Do you go into any of the I mean, I guess it depends on how long you're around somebody, right? But like, if you're just if you're just on a first date, you're not going to tell somebody like, Hey, I might pass out here. If my blood sugar gets low, that's not gonna happen. But like, you don't give him that kind of heads up, I imagine. No,

Eoin 42:25
I wouldn't give them that. I mean, like, if it came up or something, or if they like, saw me, they like saw sensor on me. Like i i wouldn't bring it up like just naturally. If it was like part of the conversation, somehow, like, maybe I would? I mean, I have I don't think it's I don't think it's wrong to say that, like, Sure, upon first date. It's just, I wouldn't, and it's like situational. I would say 100%?

Scott Benner 42:51
Have you been in a longer relationship? Do you start to tell them more? Or do they start to ask more? What do you what do you find?

Eoin 43:01
Well, they, they definitely noticed more, I would say as like time goes by. Because you know, like, you can try to teach like them how to like, use the PDM or like, refill a pod. I mean, you can't really like you can tell them all this stuff, but until they like see it and observe it for themselves, like they're really not going to understand. So in my experience, I think it's just taking time for them to like, learn more and notice more, as with like, my friends, of course to like, they definitely can tell like, when I'm low. At least that's an easy one. Yeah, I actually dated this diabetic for a little bit. And it was a little crazy. But just another example of someone who had a definite, like harder diabetic life, then like, then I like struggle a little bit. So it kind of felt bad. But did

Scott Benner 44:01
that lead you to try to help them? Were they not interested? Did they not see it as different? or in need of help? I

Eoin 44:09
think yeah, I mean, I would, of course, like, help out in any way I could. I think there was like insurance issues like happening with them and like, like, possibly like other mental health stuff that definitely doesn't like definitely doesn't help you out. diabetes, but

Scott Benner 44:28
is that incredibly awkward? I mean, when you start seeing it, you think, Oh, they're whatever they're doing or not doing and you think, Oh, I wish they knew or like, do you feel like it's okay to say something or did that not occur to you to do just kind of keep quiet about it or just talk to them? No,

Eoin 44:48
I would talk to him. I mean, yeah, I mean, it really depends on what it is. If it's like something kind of like, serious. Like, I probably wouldn't really be as like forward, like as like suggesting something but like little things and like little habits like that, you know, they could be talking about that I like find wrong or like they could be doing something differently. Like definitely I would like, give a little suggestion. But, I mean, I definitely voiced my opinion and like a hopefully respectful way. Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:24
I imagine what do you think it was uncomfortable for them to see you doing? Better?

Eoin 45:29
Possibly? I don't know. I don't I don't know if that thought went through their mind, honestly. Because like, I don't like there wasn't a point where we like really compared, like, our giant, like, I don't know, like our intimate like data sort of like,

Scott Benner 45:47
so it kind of it kind of stayed more like, on the surface. But you notice your a Pre-Bolus thing, and they're not or something like that. And like that you get you see a spike and they don't do anything, that kind of thing. Yeah, that's up. I mean, was it upsetting to you? Did it impact me? He said there were other issues. But did it impact the relationship? Or were you able to let them do their thing and not bother how you felt about them?

Eoin 46:15
I feel like it did kind of impact our relationship. I don't know. She was like moving. So it'll kind of there were like other things that went into it. So I met her on hinge. And one of her like prompts was, it was like the insulin pump stays on during sex, or was the insulin pump like comes off during sex or something? And so of course, I like commented on that. And I was like, Oh, well, not for me. I have an omni pod. And then it kind of just started from there. Yeah.

Scott Benner 46:49
That's a good hey, listen, you got to find a flirtation, somehow. That's as good as any.

Eoin 46:53
I know. Yeah. I'm gonna use whatever I can get.

Scott Benner 46:58
Like, this ain't easy game. Well, it's gotta be even more difficult now. Right? Because people work from home so much. Do you work out of your home ever?

Eoin 47:08
Not often, but like I can. Yeah. It's tough

Scott Benner 47:12
to meet people. If everybody's working from home or not going out after work. It's the rare Do you meet people as you get to be older? You know, it's tough.

Eoin 47:21
I know. Yeah, it is because I'm not someone to just go to a bar and like, have a drink. Like, I don't have a neighborhood bar that I go to. So I mean, I guess not that I would want to meet someone at a bar. I mean, whatever. I don't really care, I guess. But I don't know. It is hard to meet people like as an adult, even in like a city. But it's like, I feel like you just have to like go out. You have to like do things you have to like, join clubs, sports, rec sports leagues, like it's a

Scott Benner 47:56
lot. It really is. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 47:57
I did a lot.

Scott Benner 47:58
I was graduating from high school. Um, I remember an older cousin telling me he just left the last place. It's easy to meet girls. That's what he told me when I left. And I was like, what? And then I thought, Oh, he's right. Yeah, it's tough man. I just the meeting people part is not forget the like, romantic side of it is, you know, another level, but it's hard to me, especially in your work all day and you're tired. And it's not like you're like you're full of like Vim and Vigor at like six o'clock, right. You're hungry and you gotta get home and you gotta get up again in the morning. It's, it's a grind. I think that's why they call it a grind.

Eoin 48:34
Yeah. I really love the grind.

Scott Benner 48:38
Yeah, I'm sure you do. So tell me something about the jobs you applied for with some of the diabetes companies. Do you think you were just too young you didn't have enough experience? Or why do you think they weren't a thing come back to you?

Eoin 48:53
Yeah, I think I didn't have enough experience at the time. And they want like more than a bachelor's degree. So I mean, I kind of realized that a Bachelor's degree in Biomedical Engineering like really gets you nothing. And like biomedical engineering as a major is like stupid because you so BME you you're I took like chemical engineering classes, mechanical engineering classes, electrical engineering, computer engineering. I say chemical engineering, chemical engineering. So like, you're taking all of these classes in the different disciplines of engineering, and you're taking like the first course first or second course. So it's like, your, your what is the phrase? Like? Nowhere or like, like master of none.

Scott Benner 49:47
Oh, hold on a second. Jack of all trades, master of none. Yeah, that's the one right?

Eoin 49:56
That's exactly what it is. Okay. And that kind of leaves you Like, with little knowledge and like all of these different fields, and like, of course, there's like the core biomedical engineering, which was like, physiology like measuring things happening in the body, like flow rates through like the kidneys or like, the amount of force, like the heart is like pumping out, or like the pressure, like, going against like all of your, like blood vessels. So it was like quantitative is very quantitative physiology is how I would describe it. Yeah, don't don't do biomedical engineering kids do something else.

Scott Benner 50:39
Oh, and here's the thing, I've never once spoken to a college graduate who said to me, I loved my major, it was the greatest thing to do. Everyone always goes, Oh, what a waste of time, I shouldn't have done that. I'm not ready to do anything, blah, blah. It's a, that's the, that really, I mean, my son's younger than you, he's 23. He's only been out of college for like, a year or so. But I mean, he's, like, right now at a job where he's like, I gotta move on. He goes, I've gotten everything I can get out of this already. And, you know, he's like, so I gotta take this experience that I have, and Bill and take it somewhere else and build on it again. He's like, if I stay here, this is the thing I'll do for the rest of my life. You know, and, and he's like, there's not that much room for advancement here, etc. And so he's already thinking that direction, it sounds like you are as well. I think the truth is, well, I don't know about nowadays, but in the past, college was supposed to be a measure of your ability to learn, like, Can I throw something new it Oh, and, and they, and he gets it, and then he can apply it later, they used to pick a lot of different majors that way, like, this is a difficult thing that we really don't need this person to know that much about, but it does prove they can read a lot of information, retain it and stick it back out again, right? So so then you got to know that about yourself. And, you know, trust me, you know, where you're really going to learn is that work? In my

Eoin 52:03
job 100%. There were things in the lab, the last lab that I worked in, that I was like, learn actually learning how to do in that lab that I remember learning about in school, but it was like, we read about it, we didn't actually do it. And like it's completely different. Read about something and how it's done. Rather than like doing

Scott Benner 52:27
it. Yeah, it leaves you feeling very unsure. When you're when you're moving into the world, right? Because, yeah, yes, I took this class, I think I understood it, I got a good grade, etc. But I don't know what you do with this thing. Like, I don't like I have this thing. Now. I don't know what the world wants from me, in regards to it. And that's me, I was the heart that was the leap for my son, I was like, you know, you got to just take that job and go in there and have a little confidence.

Eoin 52:57
Fake it till you make it.

Scott Benner 52:59
Listen, learn and repeat and then see if you can learn some more and meet people. And it's a whole, you know, it's almost like it's a little politicking. And it's a little bit of, you know, a lot of a lot of a little things that I think that it's another one of those kind of falsehoods that we we tell each other like where you'll go to college, and when you come out, you'll be a thing. And that's true for some people, like some people go to nursing school, and they come out and they're a nurse. And you know, but that's almost more I've got the wrong phrase in my head. I don't mean blue collar. I mean, like a functional job, like you learn to do a thing. And then you go do that, like you physically accomplish that thing. When you're in a business like the one you're in, or the one my kids looking at, or something like that. There's 1000 things happening. They're just looking for someone to understand some of it, get it done. You know, like it's a it's a really interesting, it's not what you expect when you go into college. That's, that's for certain. No,

Eoin 54:00
it's really not like I was not prepared to go out into the workforce from college. No, it's all a scam truly is like, if I were to do it over, I would go to like a trade school joining union. And I'd be making, like, over 100k at this point.

Scott Benner 54:19
Do you think there's a thing out there that you would enjoy doing that doesn't involve your degree? Yeah,

Eoin 54:23
nothing like technical, I would say like, I love photography and like videography. I love like film and TV. So like, honestly, if I were to like do something else, it would be in that. But okay, I really do like this field. I mean, I wanted to be in like the medical, medical industry, medical device industry and like the company that I'm at, they're, I guess you could say their startup, but they're in like, in no way struggling for money. Okay, so there's like, there's a lot of upward growth for me here too. And so that's really what I'm But I'm happy about because my last job it was like stagnant never work, academia, academia sucks. It's got a toxic environment and like, it's like a dick measuring contest.

Scott Benner 55:16
But about how smart you are. Yeah.

Eoin 55:18
Or like, you know, how many papers have you published are like, no, no. Yeah,

Scott Benner 55:25
I think the key. I mean, honestly, like, it's obvious, right? The key is to do something that you enjoy. That is fulfilling somehow. And I mean, that's not an easy thing to do, I'll tell you that. I count myself as incredibly lucky that I that I do a thing that I enjoy, that I appear to be good at. And that that pays bills. Like, I mean, and it helps people like who? Like, that's a, I mean, I don't usually talk like this. But that's a blessing. Like, how many times do you get to do something where you help somebody you know, and? Yeah,

Eoin 56:00
I mean, it doesn't get better than that. No, it's

Scott Benner 56:02
very, it's very random that works out like, like, if you sat me down and said, You have to tell me how you did this? I don't know. I don't know if I could explain to you. The Unity mean, like, I don't I think that's the same for everybody. I think everybody ends up where they end up. Partially because they, they moved themselves in that direction, and just just wouldn't stop. And partially because the tide takes you where it takes you. You know, it's a little Max, I think. But yeah, I have dude, I have no idea. I have no answers.

Eoin 56:39
I really don't have any either. Just as time and effort. Really?

Scott Benner 56:45
Yeah, you gotta just you. I mean, when people are successful, they often say things like, I just like, you know, I don't think you manifest anything. I think it's kind of bold when people say that, but there's part of it that's true, is that you got to get up every day with a singular focus and do a thing. And, you know, pick up the hammer and swing it hard. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's no doubt I made this podcast for a long time. And I didn't make you know, anything. And hardly anybody was listening to it. It's, you know, I mean, honestly, man, like I've said this a couple times on here, but the first year, I made the podcast, like 365 days, that podcast had as many downloads in that first 365 days as it had yesterday. Like, I am not kidding. All right. Like, I believe, that's a hard boy that they ended up first year, you're like, What did I just spend 12 months of my life on? Like, yeah, people like it, and they're telling me that they're like, you know, they enjoy everything I'm like, but if this doesn't grow, like, I mean, I don't know what to do, like, a lot of time, you know, next year doubled and doubled again. And then I was like, oh, maybe it's just gonna keep doubling. And you know, like, and then and it kept growing and growing. And I was, like, are right on, you know, like, and to me, that's an indication that people are hearing it and vibing with it enough to share it with somebody else. So and that there, dude, you think it's hard to go to a job and get help? I have zero feedback. I make I make all of my decisions based on numbers that clicked by me every day. And that's, that's the only thing I can use to guide myself. I

Eoin 58:25
mean, you've made it this far. So you've done something right,

Scott Benner 58:29
given up now, man, I think I got I got, I got a handle on it now. But, but it's, but it's just like, at any time along there. I guess my bigger point was, if I would have quit in the first four years, I don't know that anybody could have blamed me. You know, like, it's a lot of work. And there's very little return as far as listen, if if you could put a pot of gold next to me and I could pick out of it when the when the electric bill came, then I'd sit here and make this podcast all day for free. And I giggle about it. You don't I mean, but you got you got to pay a bill at some point. So it's hard man. Like, I don't know. And by the same token, when I hear people talking, like my son talking about the jobs, he's looking for whatever, there's part of me that's like, I would not be good at that. I'm not good at thinking about, like, if you made me a thing. I'd be that thing every day for the rest of my life. That's hard. That's a hard thing for me to swallow.

Eoin 59:24
Yeah, you can't mold yourself to what society wants you to be Scott.

Scott Benner 59:30
Oh, and it's a ridiculous thought. I'm 52. But I am a bit of a free spirit when it comes to stuff like this. Like I just, I swear to you, I had a I don't know how old I was middle school, going to high school. And on the last day of school, the guidance counselor kind of pulled me into a doorway. And he says I have I've always wanted to tell you I thought you'd make a good attorney. And I looked at him. I mean, I was in ninth grade. How old was I? You know? Amen. And, and and I said, but my only response was Thank you. But then I'd be an attorney every day. And he, I think he looked at me like, Oh, this one's dumb, and I didn't realize it, you know, and like, and he's like, and I kind of walked away from him and wished him a good, like happy summer or something. But I don't think he knew what I meant. i What I meant was, I don't think I could do that. Forget being an attorney. Like, I don't think I could do the same thing every day for the rest of my life. That seems hard. Anyway, so now I make a pot. I'm a grown man who has a podcast. Can you imagine my tax return says podcast or on it? When it does?

Eoin 1:00:38
That is so funny. It's very interesting.

Scott Benner 1:00:43
The the gentleman that does Mike, my taxes makes me sound fancy. I'm not fancy. But but the guy that does my taxes. He'll tell me every like, every couple years, they'll say, I work with another influencer. And I'm like, and I always say like, I don't think of myself that way. I'm like, But don't call me. That's a weird word. But okay. Tell me your story. You know. And the other one is always there's a lady who does reviews of kitchen appliances. And I go, I always go, that's interesting. And it sounds like he's never said, I want to be clear. He's never said, but he made it sound like there's a small fortune in that game. And I was like, Wait, I don't understand because like, they'll send her a refrigerator. Then she'll review it. And I'm like, okay, and then she puts up her videos and makes her money off her videos. And I'm like, right. And then she sells the refrigerator. I was like, God, she gets a free refrigerator that she sells the free for. I think this is

Eoin 1:01:45
what you can't sell anything on this. Can you?

Scott Benner 1:01:47
What What am I gotta sell the I mean, I need the microphone. I only have a microphone in the computer. I got nothing left. And I good. You

Eoin 1:01:56
could make like a master class or something or like consult for like us. You don't have a podcast, any credential,

Scott Benner 1:02:03
no credentials. What am I gonna do? Come talk to Scott, you almost got through high school with no trouble. Someone's

Eoin 1:02:10
got to give you an honorary degree from somewhere. And

Scott Benner 1:02:13
now we're on to something. Now. I like the way you're thinking. Okay. Before you're a little judgy about the helicopter anything. But now I like you. I think you're right on.

Eoin 1:02:24
Yeah, I'm sorry, that might have come off a

Scott Benner 1:02:26
little you didn't come off at all or anything like that. You're not nearly the first person to say it to me. So I was happy to talk about don't think anything about it. But yeah, you're right. I need to I need an institution. Alright. Right. So I'm willing to speak at a graduation for an honorary degree. Is that what I'm supposed to say out loud? Right.

Eoin 1:02:42
Yeah. Hopefully someone hears that can make that happen. And then

Scott Benner 1:02:46
I'll just write doctor in front of my name. I'll do that thing like Dr. Phil can't really be. Now I'm searching Dr. Phil. Maybe he is a doctor. I don't know. But that's all I need. I mean, listen, if I'm being honest with you, I have thought that at the end of this, whenever the end of this comes, that it might be an interesting idea to put a like a diabetes masterclass together. And you know, once the podcast dies, I mean, it's gotta go. You know, I mean, it's the ninth year, every year, I say, this has got to be it. And then every year, it gets more downloads. So I don't know, like, but it's got to stop eventually. And when it does, I thought maybe that would be a nice thing to leave behind. But, you know, I don't I don't plan did I'm not good at planning ahead. So yeah. All I can tell you is, is that this little counter here, tells me that in the next day or so, I am going to achieve my 14 million download.

Eoin 1:03:47
Oh my god. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:03:49
And trust me the first four years weren't helping a lot towards that number.

Eoin 1:03:56
Was minuscule? Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:03:58
This year? Best guess I should do 6 million this year. Wow. Yeah. So it's like,

Eoin 1:04:06
population of a big city? Well,

Scott Benner 1:04:10
it's a it's it's enough to, to help people and to let it grow. Like, but the numbers aside, like, like, I can look at people trying to come into the private Facebook group, for example. And they'll tell you where they heard about the podcast or the Facebook group as part of the intake and you're in that group, actually. Oh, yeah. And so it's really cool to hear that people are being sent in by their physicians, by their children's hospitals by each other. It's very, very you know, I was talking to a nurse practitioner, I interviewed a girl the other day she said that her the CDE was just, you know, where she got all her help from so the endos in there talking, talking, talking and not saying anything. And they said no, no walks out of the room and the CD, the CD, the CD turns to her and And she just looks you in the eye and she goes, Listen to me, don't forget this juicebox podcast.com

Eoin 1:05:07
I mean, really, though, like, I started listening to this, like, after I, like had all these habits, if I would have gotten if I would have heard all of this, like, a long time ago, it would have been spectacular. Because I didn't know that there's just so much that goes into it that your endocrinologist or like CDE, like, doesn't get, you know, and helps to really hear people's own experiences with whether they you know, they have a child with diabetes, like they have diabetes. I don't know, it just, you know, I think knowledge is power and like, the more people I mean, I guess this is nosy, but like, the more I know about like, someone's like diabetic life, I have a lot more to go off of if something happens to me and like, you know, no, no, I heard this from there or whatever.

Scott Benner 1:06:03
It's information you can try to apply to yourself, and help yourself with it's fantastic. It's one of the things I was hoping to do when I started the podcast. It's amazing, actually cheese after the way, the way so it's interesting. Oh, and you're, you're like an enigma a little bit. You know that about yourself?

Eoin 1:06:19
I have been, I've been told that.

Scott Benner 1:06:23
So, so I am reading you correctly. That's excellent. Because there's a part of me that like for a little bit, I was like, He's gonna yell at me. And then and then. And then you didn't know I think we had a lovely conversation. And now here, we're at the end. And you're like, I listened to this podcast. And I was like, God, I partially part of me thought like, you didn't listen to this. So that was interesting. Because I, I do talk to people that have never heard, like, I've talked to people who've never heard the podcast. And anyway, sometimes those are really interesting conversations, and I enjoy them a lot. But I thought for sure you are going to be like, like I don't I don't listen, you're silly podcasts got.

Eoin 1:07:06
The last one I listened to was when you were suggesting the like bright or bright ideas and landmines book. I forget. I forget who was on it, like in what's his name or something.

Scott Benner 1:07:18
But oh, my gosh, I know his name. Hold on a second. I'm insulted. I'm insulting him to not know his name. Or I'm gonna look just hasn't been on it a while. Oh,

Eoin 1:07:29
yeah. Adam Brown or brown? Yes.

Scott Benner 1:07:31
I'm sorry, Adam, it took me that long to come up with your name. Again. You go back and listen to the older ones, too.

Eoin 1:07:39
Yeah, I mean, I'll just go back and kind of like read the descriptions. No offense to parents, but usually when it's like a parent, like the child has diabetes, I don't know. I don't really listen to those as much. But yeah,

Scott Benner 1:07:55
they go. And we can dig into that for a second if you want. You know, I mean, I'm making an assumption. But it sounds like you're pissed that your mom didn't help you with your diet. You don't want to hear from ladies who are helping their kids with their diabetes.

Eoin 1:08:09
You know what Scott, you went, you might have just unlocked something. And prior therapists have just not been able to do

Scott Benner 1:08:16
you can send over send over your copay. But I I listened to you would not nearly be the first adult who I've spoken to, who got thrown into the fire, and didn't come out of it as well as they had hoped, want very much to believe that the fight was worth having. And so they think that the way they did it was the best way. But somewhere not that far under the surface. There's a little kid inside of them that needed help, and they didn't get helped and it hurts. So, you know, I think that's not an uncommon story. So I'm not saying that's yours, but it's definitely not an uncommon story.

Eoin 1:08:56
I mean, you could Well, I mean,

Scott Benner 1:08:58
I've been doing this a long time. I had to figure it out like 45 minutes ago, but I think it's insulting to just lay it out that early on there's a reason 14 million times this thing's been downloaded. I love you. Oh, and this has been terrific. You have from the beginning. Your name is not spelled Owen. Le Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:25
That's a good little PSA. You

Scott Benner 1:09:27
jumped on and you were like by names? Oh, and I'm the voice. Am I a headwind? No, it isn't.

Eoin 1:09:33
Well, you know what, kudos to you for still pronouncing it as ln because most of the time, some, like, if someone hears my name, I'll talk to them. They'll say it fine. But then once they read it, they'll start calling me like Ian or something. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:09:46
how am I have it? I have it written down in front of me. Phonetically like, cuz I was 1,000% Sure I was gonna call you in. So I just like I wrote it down while I was as soon as I started. But ya know, Oh, it's funny. Like, I swear to you that little comic voice in my head was like, I don't think he knows his name.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:06
I didn't like this guy. Like, it was like,

Scott Benner 1:10:08
some weird club kid thing. What am I going to find out? While I'm talking to this guy? Literally, I couldn't figure it out.

Eoin 1:10:15
I never know what you're gonna get into.

Scott Benner 1:10:16
It's hilarious. Is there anything that I didn't bring up that I should have? Because I need to wrap up, but I just wanted to make sure we don't miss anything.

Eoin 1:10:23
No, I mean, honestly, I guess I kind of want to show you my tattoo. I have like one. Like, is it an engine? What is the check engine light? I'm really into cars. You see, it's cool. I love cars. And my dad was like a was a sheetmetal worker and then like, restored cars. And so now he like restores classic cars. So like, I don't know, I've had excellent automobile influence my whole life.

Scott Benner 1:10:50
Check Engine light on there doesn't work. Does it blink when it's going wrong?

Eoin 1:10:53
It's just constantly on I can't I can't get it to turn off.

Scott Benner 1:10:59
Unfortunately, well, and by the way, way to come through in the ninth hour here and the 11th hour, excuse me with a title check. Engine light. Check. I was wondering what we call this one check engine,

Eoin 1:11:13
check engine. Yeah. And then I have this one, too. And

Scott Benner 1:11:17
that's cool. Very nice. Minor, all like Calvin and Hobbes thought into my tattoos, whatever. I do have a big circuit board on my back. Actually. It's all it's old. I don't know. I haven't seen it a long time. I couldn't even begin to tell you what it looks like. I'm not even kidding. There's one time it's it's probably seven by 10. And so I'm sure I've told this story. So I'll go through it very quickly. I used to work in a sheetmetal shop. He was just talking

Eoin 1:11:50
about that. Yeah. And

Scott Benner 1:11:51
one of the welders, I heard him yelling curse. And I looked up and usually people get hurt. So you're like, Oh, he's hurt. You know what I mean? Like, like, so I looked up to see what was going on. And I looked up in time to see his radio flying across the room. So boom boxes back then, like just the square plastic things with two speaker girls in the front had a radio and a cassette player. Usually, this thing is, and by the way, electronics used to be really expensive. This is like a $200 item flying across the room back when $200 was a lot of money, not like now, when for some reason go into Mo's and get in a bowl cost 45 bucks. But like,

Eoin 1:12:30
am I wrong? No, you are not.

Scott Benner 1:12:33
I left the grocery store the other day, I felt like an old lady. I was like they are shaking us down for this crap. But anyway. Oh my god, the radios flying across the room. It hits a wall, it explodes. And I remember his name still. I'm like Carl, what happened? He goes that thing. And he starts talking about how it never works. I was like, I don't know if that was the way to handle it. So like he seemed, it seemed like after a moment, he wished he hadn't done that comforting way, I went over to kind of like, clean it up with him. And I picked out off the ground, this Dolby Noise Reduction board that came like flying out of it. And I said, Can I have this? And he goes, why? And I'm like, I'm gonna get this tattooed on my shoulder. And I took that circuit board to a tattoo artist and I was like, hey, tattoo that on my shoulder, and then burn the skin around it. Like it's underneath my skin. Like, like a terminator kind of feeling. You know what I mean? So that was a part I never really gave any consideration to is it's on my shoulder and I can't say it. So once in a while you'll be drying yourself off. I don't know, I have to say you'll it's me. I'm drying myself off and I look in the mirror wrong. And It shocks me. Like I feel like there's Oh my God, I feel like there's something on me and I almost swat at it. Like what the hell and then your brain goes That's a tattoo you got when you were 20 and I'm like, oh, yeah, nevermind. So anyway, that's that's all my thoughts is.

Eoin 1:14:01
Well, you know,

Scott Benner 1:14:02
I do have a tribal of Calvin and Hobbes around my right calf. Do you know Calvin and Hobbes?

Unknown Speaker 1:14:09
I do.

Scott Benner 1:14:12
I have Spaceman Spiff. I have Calvin and Hobbes and the time machine. I have the superhero what was it the scarlet something I have it when he was doing his homework and he would just any would think of himself as a giant walking through the city. And I have the cover of like probably the most famous book where they're sitting next to each I think it's revenge of the baby set. And and I got one on the side of my calf. And then one day realized it didn't look like it was connected to anything. It felt like it was floating on my leg. I don't know what other way to put that. And so I went back to the guy and I was like here I'm gonna give you have like three more images like do one on each side hemisphere of my calf and like tie it together. So anyway, that's a long time ago. I don't have the money or the time or the patience to get a tattoo anymore. I don't think I already get them lasered off. But yeah, well, listen, these are pretty high audible. But But anyway, alright man, do you have a terrific I really appreciate you doing this. Thank you so much. Yeah, no, of course. Thank you. It really was a pleasure to talk to you. Hold on one second for me

a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. you spell that GVOKEGLUC AG o n.com. Forward slash juice box. Having an easy to use and accurate blood glucose meter is just one click away. Contour next one.com/juice box. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. I'd like to thank cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and remind you that using my offer code juice box at checkout will save you 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. That's the sheets, the towels, the clothing, anything available on the website. Lots of people with autoimmune seem to have trouble with their thyroid. And that's why I've made the defining thyroid series juicebox podcast.com. Click on defining thyroid the menu to find out more. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

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