#1905 An Ounce of Prevention
An Ounce of Prevention
Brianna, 11, is a competitive trampoline athlete headed to nationals — and type 1 makes her blood sugar crash mid-routine. She and her dad Jesse talk exercise lows, community, and staying ahead of it.
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- Exercise — especially a trampoline — can send blood sugar crashing, and it’s one of the things people with type 1 fear most. Brianna can drop hard mid-routine, sometimes going low up to ten times in a single three-to-four-hour practice. Her family plans around it with early activity mode, reduced or half boluses at gymnastics meals, and Gatorade and juice always in the bag.
- Timing the meal before practice matters. Brianna eats earlier on gymnastics nights so the insulin has time to clear before she’s bouncing — a deliberate strategy to avoid stacking active insulin on top of exercise.
- Staying ahead of a low beats chasing it. A recurring theme: treating a low after it hits means an hour of shaking through practice or a lower competition score. Catching an 85 heading down — an “ounce of prevention” — is the small change that could make the biggest difference. Brianna’s own top goals: pre-bolus, win nationals, and get her A1C toward the fives (last was around 6.1).
- Community changed everything. Getting connected right after diagnosis — a meetup, older youth ambassadors, Breakthrough T1D events — turned isolation into belonging. Brianna went from feeling alone at school to organizing a picnic for the whole youth-ambassador group.
- Perspective helps on the frustrating days. Gear isn’t perfect — pods can leak during high-impact activity, algorithms can’t fix a missed bolus — but as Scott notes, people managed type 1 for decades with none of it. Frustration is real; so is how far the tools have come.
- Breakthrough T1D (formerly JDRF) — the youth-ambassador program, walks, and meetups Brianna is part of (verify URL)
- JBP #1350 — Jesse’s episode — Brianna’s dad’s earlier conversation about the newly-diagnosed years (verify slug)
- Omnipod 5 — the tubeless pump Brianna wears; sponsor link
- Small Sips Series — short, one-idea-at-a-time management episodes (verify slug)
- Juice Cruise — the Juicebox community cruise (2027 out of Port Canaveral)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — community around type 1 (verify URL)
Every word of the conversation
Meet Brianna and Jesse0:00
Welcome back, friends. You are listening to the Juice Box podcast. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast private Facebook group, Juice Box Podcast, type one diabetes.
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Hi. My name is Brianna.
Brianna, how Oh, oh, that'll get me. Sorry. Do it again.
Hi. My name is Brianna.
And I'm Jessie. I'm her dad.
Alright. Brianna, how old are you?
I'm 11 years old.
11. You have type one diabetes?
Yes.
How did you end up on this podcast? What happened?
So I wanted to be on the podcast because my dad was on the podcast in episode 1,350. And I sent an email saying, like, I'm I'm a gymnast who wants to be on the podcast, and here we are.
Cool. Blake, what do you remember about doing it? How long ago was that?
Honestly, I forgot. I think it was, like, a couple months ago.
A couple months ago, you sent me the email.
Yeah.
Okay. And, Blake, you were on the podcast, was it years ago?
I was last year or just over last year.
Hey, Jesse. I'm sorry. I'm calling you by your last name. I apologize.
It's okay. No. Yeah. It was, last year, or just past last year, maybe a year and a half. And I got on because I wanted to kinda talk about some of the mental health stuff with the, you know, with the newly diagnosed kid.
Yeah. How are how have you been since then?
Great.
Things are better?
Yep. And Brianna is thriving.
That's awesome. What do you think made it better for you?
Time. I think as you go on, you know, with this diagnosis, things become more manageable, put things in perspective and you just see you know, I could just see how Brianna has, you know, grown and managed it and things just gradually keep getting better and better.
Your anxiety about it goes away or you build more experience and it feels more knowable? Any of that sound true?
Yeah. I I think, for me, the unknown, so the beginning, the anxiety as far as, like, the unknown and some of the challenging aspects of it, learning how to manage it is tough. But as you do gain experience, I think it is much it's never easy, but it's definitely more manageable and you learn and you kind of understand it a little bit better.
Diagnosed at Eight5:07
Okay. Brianna, how old were you when you were diagnosed?
I was eight.
Eight. And that's what, like three years ago maybe?
Yeah.
K. Can you tell me what you remember about the time leading up to the diagnosis?
So we went to Disney in the end of two thousand twenty two. In December, my parents said that they noticed I was, like, off. And when I looked back at pictures, I was, like, really pale, really skinny, and I was, like, kinda miserable the whole time. I always complained I was, like, really hot because it was really hot. But I came back, and then I was, like, always super tired.
And then in January, I was, like, going into school, and I was chugging water bottles. And I was going to refill them, and I was still, like, super thirsty. Like, I haven't had any water all day. Mhmm. And I was chugging water bottles.
I
have to tell you, when I took my kids to Disney, I was complaining that it was hot all the time too, but I did not end up having diabetes. Also, what are those bugs? Do you know what I mean? Like, they're do you you ever ride the did you ride the bus, like, from the resort to the Yeah. The park and there were these giant bugs just smushed on it?
It's very, very unsettling. I didn't I didn't enjoy it all. So so this was like a Christmas time trip for you?
Yeah. I see. Was I think it was over my birthday, which is in December beginning of December.
Okay. So So you get home. The the drinking continues. Do you tell your parents about it, or how did or do they see it on their own?
They saw it because I didn't really notice it until I looked back. And I was just noticing, like, there was this one day. I don't know why I remember it, but I do. But I had my water bottle, and I was chugging. I had to keep it on my seat.
I went to refill my water bottle at least five times that day. And in first grade, I had to start, like we were only allowed, like, three bathroom visits a day, and I was, like, using all three every day. And I would still needing to go. So sometimes I would have to go four to five times a day, which was a lot.
Your school limits your peeing?
Not really, but, like, they she said there's only well, my teacher was really annoying. But, anyway, she said, like, only three bathroom visits a day unless it's an absolute emergency.
So
Sounds like some kids were taking advantage of the bathroom.
Yeah. One kid was spending thirty minutes in the bathroom at a time talking to his friends. He wasn't even in the bathroom. Oh. That ruined it for the class.
They ruined yeah. That nobody can pee. Ridiculous.
Mhmm.
So okay. So it's getting worse and worse and worse. Just you, do you look at her and think she looks different, or is it really just the drinking that throws you off?
No. We we didn't notice that. I think the drinking and the peeing were the two main factors for us.
Okay. So this makes you go to the doctor?
The Smoothie and the Wrong Appointment8:00
Yes. Eventually.
Yeah. Eventually. And do you have any recollection, Brown,
I'm
I'm really interested. Do you have any recollection of going into the doctor, what you thought was happening and what you knew was happening when you left?
I had no idea what was happening. I just I remember I was mad that it had to go. So I got picked up from school early that day, and then we went to the doctor's office. I said asked my dad if I could get a smoothie. He said yes, but then he knew what was he had a feeling, what was gonna happen, and we never got that smoothie.
He said maybe after because we're running a bit late. When we showed up, they said our appointment was actually for the following week, but they said they could fit us in that day. And they checked my blood sugar. It was 401, and they sent us straight to the ER. And that is all I remember.
It's a good thing you guys got the date wrong on the on the appointment. Or or did you, Jesse? Or were you just like, we'll just show up and pretend we didn't know?
Yeah. That's it's a funny story because I I don't I vaguely remember that, but I I remember my wife kind of like, she she knew. And Mhmm. Even even me, I was denying it because I was like, yeah. We'll get a smoothie because you gotta go to the doctor.
I'll I'll treat you to a smoothie. Mhmm. Even I had, like Some
smoothie king.
Yeah. And I had an idea, but, like, even that, like, denial of, yeah, we could just get a smoothie. And and thank goodness we were running late because then she would have been, like, through the roof. But
Well, in fairness, Jesse, you were a week early. Yeah. Yeah. You were a week early.
So we were just we were just going. We were, you know, have get a smoothie, and we'll eventually make it to the doctor.
Brianna, you know your dad feels bad when he says yes to a $9 smoothie. You know what I mean? Yeah. Mhmm.
And those smoothies were, like, so much sugar. They were, like, 50 carb
I know I
know. Smoothie King.
Arden gets them sometimes, and then we ask for half sugar, and they're still really sweet.
Yeah.
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Three Days in the Hospital12:08
I they didn't tell me anything, but they I think they told my dad something.
Okay. Yeah. The they they essentially said, we think it's type one diabetes, but in order to conf here's the amazing part is the doctor's office that we went to, which is not the regular office we go to. It was like a a satellite location. They didn't have a finger stick.
So they sent us to another office and, we end up going and it was on the way to the hospital, but we ended up stopping there. They did the finger stick and they're like, yep. You gotta continue on your way to the hospital.
It's like it's like a it's like a a board game.
Yeah. Yeah. Lot of moving parts. Yeah. Yeah.
And and we were early.
Pick Bran up at the school. Go to the doctor's office. The doctor's office doesn't have a meter. Go to the other doctor's office. Mhmm.
Go to the hospital.
That doctor's office seems mortified. Run to hospital. So how long were you in the hospital, Brown? What do you remember about the stay?
I was in there for three days. I had no idea what was happening. I was crying in the car. I was super upset because I had no idea what just happened. I didn't know if I was gonna be okay.
Was I dying? Nobody would tell me what was happening. We got into the ER. We got, like, seen right away. The ER was packed, but we got seen right away.
And, like, before I knew it, I had an IV. I was in a bed, and they were, like, talking to me about, like, a medical ID bracelet, which I had no idea what was even happening. Why are they, like like, giving me medical ID
bracelet? That's the first thing someone said to you? You're gonna need a medical ID bracelet.
There it's yes. She just had, like, a bunch, and I chose the pink one. And they gave me a blanket, and then they sent me to the ICU.
Oh, I see. They they laid some gifts on you to try to make you feel better. Yeah. Right? Jesse, does it surprise you to hear that she felt like nobody was telling her what was going on?
Yeah. And to be honest, like, I I know for for me, like, it was shock. Complete and even kind of going into the doctor's appointment, having the idea of, well, here's all the symptoms. This is what it looks like. This is probably what it is.
Still just denying that and not really facing reality. Like, how could this be? And this are they right? And could it be something else?
And Yeah.
All these other things that, even for me, like I like I said, it was just shock and not.
Brianna, is it hard to hear that your dad was struggling, or or do you understand that already?
I understand that he was struggling, but it is hard to hear because he was just, like, trying to get me to the hospital. Didn't really know, like, too much about what was happening. We both were, like, surprised.
Mhmm. And what does this teach you about having children?
Don't be surprised.
Yeah. Don't be in a hurry. You know what I mean? It's a it's a lot of work. So we're
Don't say yes to smoothies right before the doctor's office when you knew something is wrong.
That's all you've taught her is that one day she will not stop anywhere for a child while she's taking it to a doctor's appointment.
That's good advice.
Yeah. It's not she we'll do it after. It'll be fine.
Yeah. After is fine.
Yeah. You'll you'll enjoy the lollipop way more. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Do they still do lollipops at the doctor's office?
Not really. No.
My bank has them.
Live at random places.
Yeah. Like, you know, the little dumb dumb ones? Why do they call them dumb? By the way, why alright. Well, that's not really for our conversation, but the little round ones, I I actually have to go pick up a check to pay a bill later.
I'm gonna I'm gonna get a root beer on there, I think.
The root beer is the best flavor.
I you and I agree on this. Absolutely. Yeah. By the time you leave that hospital, have people come to visit? Do you feel any better?
Is it still just scary? What what what happened during that time that worked for you or didn't work for you?
It was all scary. I, like, was not happy that I had to get shots because I was thinking, like, it's a shot every time I have to eat. So then I would, like, just be upset because I didn't wanna, like, have a shot all the time because it was really annoying. My she used to be my babysitter, and she came she came and visit me in the hospital. And she's, like, the best, and she visits us even though she doesn't babysit us anymore because she's more like a family than just a babysitter.
Finding Community16:35
That's sweet. Do you know anybody else who has type one diabetes?
Yes. Who? A lot of people. So nobody in my school, but I have, like, a lot of friends through, like, the youth ambassadors and through Breakthrough. Oh, yeah.
A lot of friends.
Oh, you're doing stuff with Breakthrough?
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice. How long have you been at that?
A couple years.
What what are some things you've done so far?
So, I'm a youth ambassador as of this year and last year. We went to, like, the turtle back soon meetup just when we got diagnosed because we got really lucky just when we got diagnosed. Like, the meetup was right after that. And then we went we do the walks every year. I don't think parents run the support group.
That's very nice. Brianna, I don't think anyone's ever described I was very lucky about when I was diagnosed with type one diabetes because I guys go to the zoo. Kinda nice.
What Yeah.
I'm wondering, Jesse, did is this a thing you and your wife decided to do and then she started being involved? Do you feel like it's a thing you introduced her to, drug her into, or that she was interested in?
So I think the driving factor I mean, well, like Brianna said, we we did get lucky timing wise, like, right after we come home. We've we learn about, you know, obviously, in the hospital, they give you all the resources. We were at Jersey Shore, and Jersey Shore was amazing. Her doctor her doctor is amazing. But, like, at that time, they gave us all the resources.
Hey. You could go to this. You could go to that. So we ultimately did go to the meetup. She met like, we're still friends with the people that we met that day, but it was a it had a huge impact that day, like, in how she connected with a current youth like a youth there was I think she was a she was eight, and the youth ambassador at the time was, like, 16, 17, 18, someplace in there.
She was just going to college, and she was so helpful to Brianna. And then there was other girls there who had different pumps and whatnot, and they were talking about it the whole time. So that was, like, a huge connection. And then after that, she goes back to school, and she doesn't have anybody in her school who has type one. So it was kinda like a phase of, like, you know Yeah.
Being alone.
Yeah. You felt surrounded then alone. And did that did that make you want to be? Are you
So then
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah. I that's a good one to be or not. So it was kinda like, well, she needs some connection. Like, who can we connect her with? And, like, we were trying as parents to do things to kind of connect her to people with type one so she didn't feel alone.
Mhmm.
And then, and then she kinda took it from there, I think.
Do you feel that way, Brianna? Do you feel like it was your decision to do this stuff?
I feel like you guys kinda, like, pushed it and, like, had me do it, but then I, like, liked it, so we kept doing it.
So instead of pushed it, we'll say they introduced you to it, and you weren't sure at first, but then you really liked it.
Yeah.
That's true. We should clip this part out and send it to my kids. You've probably heard me talk about US Med and how simple it is to reorder with US Med using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you.
But I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email because I don't trust myself, a 100%. So one time, I didn't respond to the email, and the phone rings at the house. And it's like, ring. You know how it works. And I picked it up.
Was like, hello? And it was just the recording. It was like, US med. Doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying. It said, hey.
You're, I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, hey. Your order's ready. You want us to send it? Push this button if you want us to send it. Or if you'd like to wait, I think it it lets you put it off, like, a couple of weeks or push this button for that.
That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Get your free benefits checked now and get started with US Med.
Dexcom, Omnipod, Tandem, Freestyle, they've got all your favorites. Even that new islet pump. Check them out now at usmed.com/juicebox or by calling (888) 721-1514. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at juiceboxpodcast.com to US Med and to all of the sponsors. You know what I mean?
Maybe once in a while, we know something. Who knows? Crazy, Jess. You're right. Like, every once in a while, might have a good idea.
It's hard to believe.
The Picnic She Organized21:28
Breanne Brianna's the type that she just does, though. She, like, you know, she gets something in her mind and wants to do it, and she just does it. So Okay. And I in in my eyes, she did it. But a good example is, like, last year as a youth pastor, part of her requirements of doing things, like, she's like, I wanna have a picnic for everybody.
And she was like, you know, she came up with the idea and she was like, let's do it. And she put together a picnic for all the youth ambassadors, and that would you know, it's all her. She's gets this idea, and she does it.
Brianna, how do you facilitate that? Like, once you have the idea, how do you put it into motion to make it happen?
So I introduced the idea to them. They said it was a great idea, and then I started to make it happen. I just made, like, the RCP. I decided where we would do it. We did it in Liberty State Park, and it was very fun.
Now do you need to get, like, a like, can you just show up at Liberty State Park with a 100 people? Do you need to get a permit? Like, I'm trying to figure out, like, who does all that back end stuff? Or do you just look at your mom and go, it would be nice if there was a picnic at Liberty State Park. Let's get it.
Let's make it happen.
Yeah. Dad, looked into it, and he figured out, like, how we do it. There's, like, little rent out spots that we rented out, like, a little section. There was, like, six picnic tables, I think.
Yeah. And It sounds like you're your dad's project manager.
Yeah. She had she has she came up with the idea and then, you know, the permit part. I was like, okay. I'll take care of the permit. But she put together the whole RSVP.
She sent out to the group, and, you know, she had people come with and while we were there, I guess she did she did a couple of different games that we didn't even know. Like, she she had it all planned, like, as far as I just, you know, did the legwork as far as the little stuff,
but Very nice.
Made the actual day happen.
Brianna, do you think those that group of kids, are they would you describe yourselves as friends or just people who do a similar thing and get together once in a while?
I'm friends with, like, some of them. Some of them, I don't they didn't really talk, but, like, I'm friends with, like, some of them still. And, like, there's a youth ambassador group chat that I'm in, and we talk. And I made a lot of friends through that.
Well, that's a great idea. Do do would you I I this is I don't mean for this to be negative, and I really I'm just trying to understand, like, the bigger picture. Do you think there are kids who are doing it who are just like, I don't wanna be doing this, or do you think well, this that was a quick yes. Okay. What what gives you that idea besides they probably told you that I don't wanna be doing this?
They just don't do anything. They just, like, sit there and are like, I don't wanna be here kinda thing. Like, at the summit, there was, like, some youth ambassadors that clearly did not wanna be there, You could tell their parents wanted them to be there and kinda force them.
Mhmm. Do you think have you ever seen one of those kids come around, or do they generally go in the same direction that they start?
They go in the same direction.
Okay. What do you think what do you think you're getting out of the experience that is not intersecting with those people?
I think I'm getting out of it a lot of good because I'm meeting a lot of friends, and those people, they just stand there. They don't affect me. So
No. No. No. I don't mean that they're doing anything wrong. I mean, like, why like, well, how do I mean this?
If I if I brought a birthday cake to 10 people and five of them love cake and five of them don't, then there's something that the five who are enjoying it are getting that the other five don't. Right? So about that experience about being a youth ambassador, like, what is it that you love about it, and do you have any thoughts about why they don't feel the same way?
I think I love it because it's probably more of my, like, interest, and I like helping people. And not everyone likes to be, like, helping people that, like, need help and, like, meeting new people because I understand that some people are shy.
Okay. So you think sometimes it's just some people are shy or they're not the same in social situations, that kind of thing. And you're more outgoing?
Yeah.
Onto the Trampoline25:51
Okay. What else do you do with your time? I I mean, you go to school obviously, but do you have activities that you do?
I'm a trampolingianist.
Oh, like, Charlotte.
Yeah.
Oh, do you know her?
Yeah.
Oh, wow. Tell me a little bit about that. How does that get started?
I I wouldn't say you know her. You
know. Well, she knows of her. Yeah. Yeah.
I know of her. Yeah.
Well, she might hear this and then you might know her. Who knows about that? But tell me about, how that gets started. How do you start doing that specific activity?
So at, like, two or three, I think, or three or four, I started artistic gymnastics and did that for a couple years as, like, a little kid. I loved doing everything myself. Like, every time I was doing, like, pullovers on the bar, my coach would be try to help me, but I was like, no. And then that place got shut down, and it was COVID. I kept doing, like, cartwheels and handstands around the house.
And for when after COVID happened, my parents were looking into gyms, and we found one that's, like, five minutes around the corner. And I absolutely love it, and it happened to be a trampoline gymnastics gym. Everyone there is very nice, and I love it there because I'm on the team now, and I'm going to nationals next week.
Oh, congratulations. That's really awesome. So you've been doing it for a number of years?
Yeah.
For longer than you've had diabetes?
I've been doing I would say I've been doing trampoline for four years, and I've been diagnosed for three because I remember I did a year without having diabetes. But Okay. Yeah.
So do you know that a lot of people who have type one will say that the thing that they're most scared of is a trampoline?
Yeah.
Yeah. Do you know why that is, and how have you figured it out?
So last week, I was at practice. I was just doing my routines, getting ready for nationals, and kept flying off the trampoline. I was low that whole practice. I ended up leaving early because I ended up doing my routine on tumbling to my stomach, which hurt. And, yeah, I can tell.
And, also, they make your blood sugar drop like crazy.
Yeah. So how do you handle that?
That's a good question. I don't really know because I just we always do activity mode. I have an Omnipod five. And then we have a bunch of Gatorades and juice in my backpack in case I need it.
Often how often do you need it? Like, how long's I guess, how long does a practice take?
Okay. So this fall practice
is Wait a second. Your dad just laughed like, my whole life.
Well, the fall practices were three and a half hours to four, and then the summer are three to four hours.
Wow. Are you moving the entire time, or is it because
there's fifteen minute break for, four hour prac four hour practices.
But my point is is, like, how many people are in the group? Like, how many people are on the team?
So there's, like, 30 people on the team. We have three events. Not everyone ever comes, so there's not been a single day unless it was, like, a mandatory practice before our competition that everyone has been there. Mhmm. And so there's, like, 25 people.
And And do those 25 people, are they active all at the same time, or are they taking turns?
We take turns, but, like, when you're not taking your turn, you're either doing drills, pushing the mat for people on trampoline, or, like, gutting water.
Okay. So you're always moving?
Pretty much.
Okay.
Sometimes you get a break.
How often do you get low during a practice that's three or four hours long?
So I think the thing that makes it, like, even out is because when I get, like, stressed about doing a new skill or my routine or something or presenting anything, I get a little nervous, which makes my blood sugar go up. So that probably prevents a lot of lows. And then I think if I, like, am just doing a regular practice, I can get low up to, like it can be from zero to, like, 10 times. I'm not even joking. I get low a lot.
Do you have to eat before you go to practice, or do you try not to do that?
So it always works out that I eat before practice because practices are like the fall ones were 05:30 to nine and, like, ten to two in the morning. Well, yeah, in Saturday. So I would have my breakfast before I leave, and I would or I would have dinner before I leave, and I always have a snack before I leave.
Managing Lows in Practice30:30
So I'm sorry. 05:30 in the morning?
05:30 at night.
Oh god. Yeah. I was like,
jeez. So, like, gymnastics is crazy because it's literally twelve hours a week. And, like like, I would love to say, like, we strategically eat at such a certain time and, you know, manage the, like, a low carb thing so you don't put a lot of insulin on board.
Like Right.
That would be a perfect world.
We're just not dose a lot.
It's just it's impossible. So, like Yeah. Because she comes home from school and then she goes straight to gymnastics, like, it's she has to eat. And then depending on what she eats, like, we'll dose we'll do, like, a half dose. We'll you know, so she'll run high, and then she'll come crashing down as soon as she gets on a trampoline.
And what's interesting is, like, during gymnastics, like, she could be tumbling for an hour straight or on the double mini, which is, like, kinda like a vault for two hours, and she won't really come down. She can be stubbornly high.
But then
as soon as she gets on the trampoline, she'll she'll crash.
That happens.
And then sometimes, you don't know. If it's raining, that means, like, we should dose a little bit extra because that means we're not gonna run outside in the beginning unless we have Rob, but he because he makes us run.
Rob makes you run-in the rain?
Yeah.
Wow. What a jerk. How come he doesn't care if you're running in the rain? Does he like it maybe? Does he run with you?
He's just he just does that, I guess.
No. No. No. Wait. Does he run with you?
No. Does he stand outside with an umbrella and look at you? No. Does he does he stand inside and wait for you to come back?
No.
What well, how where's Rob doing
the run? As long as it's not thundering. He stands under a tree.
Rob, come on. Make the
kids stand.
It makes the your kids get wet. He doesn't get wet with you? Ridiculous. Yeah. Okay.
Well, we'll we'll we'll see what we can do about that. I bet you Rob never thought he'd be on a podcast standing under a tree. He'll rethink it after he hears this.
Sometimes, if we get lucky, if it's pouring, he'll sometimes let us go inside.
Uh-huh.
How generous. Just run inside.
How generous. So so, Jesse, what you're telling me is is that despite knowing what to do and having a lot of good intentions, life gets in the way and you don't always do what you need to do?
So, I mean, we're we're we are conscious of it and, like, we definitely know, like, alright. Tonight's a gymnastics night. Let's put you in activity mode early. Let's, you know, not load up on the carbs. Let's not crush you with insulin.
You know? Like, so, you know, we are purposeful, you know, and knowing she's gonna eat this meal. We're only dosing half. She's gonna go high, but she is gonna come back down. So it's like so we try to set it up so that she is a little high or she doesn't have a lot of insulin on board so that we can manage the low
We're having dinner really early because if I have dinner early, the insulin has time to, like,
get
out of my system.
So you're making a lot of, like, purposeful steps, but it's just not that easy. And then the trampoline is the x factor.
Yep. Yep. And then, like so what Brianna was talking about last week, she she just was she was literally low for an hour. She was between, I don't know, 65 and, like Two hours. 65 and, like, 72 kinda thing or 50.
How does that 50.
Brianna, how does that feel?
I felt low, and I was just shaky the whole time. And, of course, we had trampoline first that day. Of course. And it was only two people on my trampoline. So it was just me and them switching and switching the whole time, and that person took very short turns.
Yeah. So it's the actually and it was, like, the perfect storm because she had more insulin on board than we than we would like. The person she was sharing a trampoline with was actually injured and she was just kinda like bouncing. So she wasn't really
Oh, yeah.
Doing like a full workout. So Brianna had the trampoline for most of the time. So it was just, you know, like, the fact that she was only as low as, like, 65, 60, whatever it was, like, it it's actually kind of crazy because she should have been way lower.
Yeah. Yeah.
And and, Brenna, when that's happening, does your dad know I'm I'm I'm assuming your dad's the one who sits with you and watches most of the time?
Yeah. Okay. So if if I'm good, like, if I'm, like, if I'm, like, one eighty, I don't have a bunch of insulin on board. If I'm, like, maybe one and then I'm a little bit a lot of insulin on board. They stay in the area because it's really close, so they just stay home.
And if they see me dropping, they'll come and see if I need anything, or they'll sit in the parking lot and stuff.
Okay. And do you ever like, when you're feeling like that, tell me why you don't just stop and say
because I don't sometimes I feel like that when I'm high. Sometimes I feel that because I'm nervous about a routine. It's I can't tell if it's low or not, and sometimes it's not low. And it's just really
So you don't wanna go to your phone to check?
I don't know, actually.
I think I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just trying to understand, like, what happens.
So it would be good if I had my watch on, but, like, I typically don't have my watch on when I'm tumbling because I have these things called tiger paws, which go on your wrist and help you tumble. So I can't really wear my watch with them, so I take it off. But sometimes I just take it off before practice because it's just easier
Yeah.
So
I don't forget. And then when I'm putting my Tiger Paws on, I have my watch on, have to go take it off, put it back in the break room, and get it back out.
The break room. So is is your phone not out near you while you're jumping?
It's close. Yeah. It's in the the break room's just like the cubby room that it's like a little room attached to it. It's where we put our bags and stuff. And the gym's not that big, so no matter where I am, it pretty much will always connect.
Okay. So you're so you're Dexcom connected, but it doesn't necessarily mean Dexcom. Right, Libre? What are you
using? Dexcom.
So it's connected, but you but you don't necessarily hear the phone. So now you're just left with how you feel. When you don't feel right, you don't go check on yourself.
Sometimes if I really don't feel right, I'll go and I'll ask for water, and then I'll go. All the coaches know. So just, like, know it.
I'll go. And and and would they be upset if you went and took care of something?
I just ask them first because you have to ask.
But Let me
Unless you're on trampoline with like, certain coaches, then sometimes you don't have to ask for, like, water.
Bre Brown, let me ask your dad the question. Okay? Is she being judged, Jesse? Is there a fear that she's gonna not be treated seriously or something like that?
No. Her her coach so, this is, like, the parents' challenge. Like, I don't we talked to the coaches, and we were kinda like, we don't want to put the phone with you, and they don't kinda, like, make you responsible because they're busy making sure girls don't hurt themselves. So, I mean, they're they're constantly doing stuff. So they they really can't pay attention to it at all to a degree.
At competitions, though, they hold my phone sometimes. And, like, during regional's warm up, because that place was huge, they, like, had me hold my phone. And then when I was taking my turn, they took it for me and just held it while they were holding
the mats. Okay.
And they and they're good. Like, pretty much, like, anytime I walk into the gym, they literally look right at me, and it's kinda like, do you need her? Is she low? Yeah. You know, they're kinda, like, looking to understand.
Over. You know, like, we we know why you're here. You're here because she's low again. Okay. And they call they say, Brianna, and Brianna comes running over.
So it's kinda like just a I mean, it's more of an understanding. Like, they they really don't know anything about it and, you know, the intricacies and how it works and whatever. They just know
about that. Stuff.
Yeah. They just know if she's low and I walk in or mom walks in, like, chances are we need her, and they just send her over to us and stuff. So
When Lows Cost the Podium39:02
Okay. So, Brianna, let me ask you this. Is trampoline and gymnastics not better for you personally when your blood sugar's more stable or not low?
It like, at States, I probably could have won if I got second place if I wasn't low because I was low and I was, like, had a whole Gatorade, like, a huge like, the big one, which are, like, 35 carbs. I had a whole one of those. I probably could have won if I wasn't, like, shaking the whole time because I was low. Okay. At regionals, I was shaking the whole time because I was just nervous.
But if I notice if I'm low or if I'm high, I don't perform as well as if I am, like, in range.
Mhmm. Now I'm keeping in mind that you're 11. Okay? So Yeah. I'm not being hard on you here.
Okay? But if that's the situation, has it occurred to you to just check sooner and make sure that you're gonna be okay? Like, be ahead of it somehow instead of, like because I feel like what's happening is that you're getting low and then addressing it. Is there not a way to address it so you don't get low? So there's still two things happening, except they happen in a different order.
So sometimes I'm on other events. Like, my events are stacked, and they typically have us waiting on the floor for a little while or, like, in the chairs before they bring us out. And I don't have, like, my phones all the way in my bag or my parents have it. So I don't really have, like, anywhere because I can't wear my watch while you compete. So I can't really tell where like, what my numbers are.
So I have to go see so it's kinda, like, on us.
Or, like, I have it for the coaches sometimes if I'm going to, like, the far event. Sometimes I have like, sometimes we're on the floor warming up, and then I have an event right away. So it doesn't think occur to me to check because I'm always the last in line. It's either I'm the first in line and they're we're waiting on everyone else or I'm the last in line. And if I'm the last in line, that means I was rushing.
So
Mhmm.
That means I don't really have time. I just have to grab my tramp shoes or my tiger paws and run to the, event.
Mhmm. So is so, Jesse, is it that you're not seeing it coming? Because, like So Like, listen, Brianna, have you ever heard this an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?
An Ounce of Prevention41:18
Yeah.
Have you heard that?
Yeah. Do you
know who said it? No. Benjamin Franklin. Do you know when he said it? No.
02/04/1735.
1735.
Let's let's do the quick math on that. 1835, 1935, 2035. It's 2026, so we take nine away from that. It seems like that might be one to two hundred and ninety one years ago maybe if my math is, like, roughly right. How come we haven't learned yet?
What Ben Franklin was trying to tell us, Brianna. What's going on? How come we're slow learners, people? Because I I have the same problem. Let me may I share something with Mhmm.
I was just on a cruise. I was gone for nine days. Every day I was gone, two travel days, seven days on the ship. I took all of my vitamins. I did all the things I was supposed to do for myself that I've set up previously.
I had a wonderful nine days. I got home, and the second day I was home, I didn't take my vitamins. What what's wrong with me? How come I forgot? Do you know what I mean?
Like, how come Yeah. Why is it hard to pre bolus? How come come we don't wanna, like, make sure we're okay before we start, but we're willing to be dizzy for an hour afterwards, etcetera? It's a human thing. You're 11.
I'm not asking you for for an answer. Okay? I just think it's an incredibly common problem, and but you have a very specific use case. So, like, it feels to me like somewhere in here is I don't know. Like, I hear what you're saying.
Like, I can't stop because nothing's wrong, but then eventually, you have to stop because something's wrong. So why not stop first for less time, stop the problem, don't be low for an hour on the trampoline, enjoy the whole thing. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay.
Then tell me, just from your brain, why doesn't that happen?
Probably because I rush for water breaks and stuff.
Okay. That's it. You just think you're not focused on it?
No. I prob I don't think about it.
But do you think go ahead, Jess. Sorry, Jess. And you're welcome, by the way. You don't have to pay me. I'm just I'm just here asking questions.
Go ahead.
I I this this conversation, and I think you hit the nail on the head, it's a well, I was gonna say it's because 11 years old, but it's all you're right. It is also a human factor because why don't we
I just had a conversation like this twenty five minutes ago with a 22 year old, so I don't know what you're talking about. But So
in alright. In my mind, I I just pray that it's just because it's an 11 year old. You know? But at yeah. I I get it.
It's so it happens in school too. Like, we're kinda like she has a whole nurse story where she had substitute nurses for a year, and it was it was miserable.
Because my nurse was out with a wrist injury. So we were like there's a bunch of sub nurses. One of them, one time called me down. So I had gym in, like, four hours. Four hours.
And lunch didn't happen. Snack didn't happen. I was 90. They called me down, worried. They were like, you need to get up before gym, which was in four hours.
And I'm like, okay. I still have lunch and snack for gym. And they were like and they were really worried because they thought it would be low for gym, and it had to be, quote, unquote, 90 for gym. But the orders said 70 no. Sorry.
80. But they crossed it out in pencil, and they wrote 90, which they said the doctor signed these orders, but the doctor didn't sign 90. So
The weakest link is always people. I just wanna say that. I just think listen. I could tell you that I sat I don't even think this person would mind me saying that I'm not gonna use their name, but I sat with a a woman in her forties five days ago who told me, I don't know. I can't get myself to do it.
So I think it's everybody. I think it's a problem. I think that this isn't how we live, but you have a real opportunity, Brianna. You have a real opportunity to just make some slight changes about how you do things and I just think alleviate a lot of problems for yourself.
Because, like, even in school, we're kinda like, you know, before you even hit 70, why are why are we not having the snack? Like, why are
we not
having like, just little things like that. You know?
But I was 90 stable, and they called me down worried because I had gym in
a couple. Well, not that not that I don't think your dad means that situation. Like, when you're 85 diagonal down, you look at it and you think, it's gonna stop. Right?
Mhmm.
Yeah. You don't think
I typically
Go ahead.
Once I'm, like, in the eighties and I've been continuing to go down, then I probably pop a few gummies. And then when I'm, like, in the seventies, then I pop the rest. And if I'm, like, 60, I pop a couple more.
Okay. Well, listen. First of all, let me say this. I I you sound, like, terrific, and I think you're doing a great job. It's not these are certainly, like, just edge case ideas.
I mean, let's tell people. What's your a one c?
A 6.1, and Doing Great46:33
I think your last was six two. 61.
That's awesome.
I think it was 62.
You bowl you bowl us for your own meals? Do your parents help you?
I bowl us for my own meals.
Well, you you're doing fantastic. That's the first thing to say. Right? Absolutely fantastic. This is these these are tiny adjustments on the outside of of the of the bigger thing.
It sounds like you're doing terrific. You are a lovely kid. I'm enjoying talking to you very much. You're smart and thoughtful, and I'm sure your dad and mom are very, very proud of you. I know.
Just talking to you for a little bit, I feel very proud of you for how well you're taking care of yourself. That's all awesome. I'm just saying this is a big idea that you could work on a little bit. I think it would make a huge difference in your life. I think I think, Brianna, twenty let's just say ten years from now, you come back on the podcast and you're like, Scott, I took that advice.
It changed my life. Let me just tell you of all the ways I'm happier now. And, and that wouldn't that be lovely?
Yeah.
Yeah. Absolutely. And by then, podcast would probably be like holograms maybe or something like that. Yeah. Who would even know what it's gonna be?
Can you even imagine what technology is gonna look like in ten years?
It's gonna be like flying cars.
Uh-huh. No. They always said the cars are gonna fly around.
Thought. Are you are you gonna retire, and is Arden gonna take over the podcast?
I listen. I explained to Arden. What we have here is what they call a turnkey business, but she doesn't she's busy wanting to be a forensic psychologist at the moment. So Okay. Although, I think that'd make a great podcaster.
I don't know what she'll do. She's she's gonna be 22 in a couple of weeks. Do know what I mean?
Still young.
Yeah. Right. Right. She's very young. She just got her first job.
She's out working. You know, we're still at the point where I'm like, hey. You forgot this. And she's I like, don't need you to tell me what to do. And I'm like, oh, man.
It's been sitting here for four days. So it feels like I'm just I'm not telling you you need it. I'm just trying to remind you. I'm trying to love you. And, but it it's not her.
Do know what I mean? Like, it's not her. It's not my relationship with her. Everybody listening has this happening in their lives. It's just I don't know.
I don't really know how to put it. I can I can explain it, but I don't know how to quantify it? People just we you know, I I found myself saying it this way recently. Brana, this is getting boring for you for a second. Hold on tight.
Okay? For my entire life, I've been told the American health care system is terrible. There's not enough prevention. It's only about taking care of disease once it comes. It's the it's the fault of the doctors.
It's the fault of the system. It's the fault of the way it's set up. It's the way I think it's just people. Yeah. I just really think that that it's hard to focus on something that hasn't happened yet.
And this is what, you know, the outcome is. Now I bet you didn't know, Brianna, that Benjamin Franklin was a was a a genius way before, way before people knew. He was writing books telling people how to you know, telling people about common sense and all this stuff. This ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Means go for a walk before you gain 50 pounds.
You know what I mean? He means put down the cigar before you cough and you die, like that kind of stuff. And, it's taken three hundred years and I don't think we heard him once. So I don't know what to say other than you can't fix the world, but, you know, you can do something for yourself. So Yeah.
Not everybody's gonna do it, but some people will.
Mhmm.
Yeah. Alright. Well, you listen. You're fantastic. Obviously, know this already.
Brandon, tell me a little bit about, your management. I wanna know about pod changes, CGM changes. Do you feel do do you understand how valuable the technology is, or does it just all seem common and normal to you? So what's it like using all that technology?
I love the Omnipod, but it the control is very not so great. My I've had so many dysfunctional pods lately. They've the last three have ended early because they either they all were low on insulin, which is not the pod's problem, though. But, like, a lot of them have been leaking. Like, I've had to change a ton of pods early.
Pods, Leaks, and the Algorithm50:59
Yes, sweetheart. Some of them got recalled. Did you go through them and pull out the bad ones?
We we already got rid of the bad ones, but, like, they they've seemed to be different ones that were, like, not working.
Oh my goodness.
They're random ones.
Did they replace them for you?
Yeah. Omnipod's great at replacing.
Like, Insulin's amazing. Problem.
Yeah. It's a good company. It really is.
They're, like, no problem replacing. Everyone's really nice.
Yeah. Brianna, could you say omnipod.com/juicebox for me?
Omnipod.com/juicebox.
Thank you. Very good. That's excellent. I would like to say I'll split the clicks with you, but I'm not going to. I don't wanna lie to you.
You're a child, and I don't think it's right to lie to you. Okay? Are you on the social media on the, what do they call, the TokTik and, Instagram, stuff like that? No. No?
Do you want to be? No. Good. Never go on it. Okay?
I'm I'm giving you great advice here, Brianna. We can build a life around this. Ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure. Stay off TikTok. Don't look at Instagram reels.
Okay? It's it's like it's it's it's like a drug for your brain. You don't need it. Do your friends do it? These friends?
Are they scrolling?
No. Not really. Awesome. The boys in my class, though.
Well, boys, we don't care about boys. They're dirty.
Yeah. Boys are annoying.
No. Of course, they're annoying. I'm annoying. Trust me. I was just I was an hour ago, my wife's like, can you rub my head?
I rubbed her head, then I said something. She goes, I don't find this part fun. I was like, okay. It's like, fine. I'm I'm I'm she still doesn't like me.
That's not the point. The point is this. I'm wondering if people your age are are they is the is the flow coming after the ebb? You know what I mean? Like, is social media becoming a thing that kids are rejecting a little bit now?
Like, the kids in, like, my grade are not really super, like they're not, like some of them are, like, always on their phones while some of them, like, actually, like, having fun and actually, like, hanging out. But then, like like, everyone's just, like, in group chats. Can I hang is anybody available? Can you guys hang out? And most of the girls don't play video games, but I feel like all the boys who play video games
Mhmm.
They're already, like, trapped and they can't get out of it.
Yeah. What what are they playing on their phone? Clash of Clans?
They're playing, Battle Royale.
Battle Royale? That's the one I meant. Okay. Right?
And then what's the other one? There's one more. I can't think of it.
Mhmm. Mhmm. You're here to help people?
On Roblox. Anything on Roblox. Roblox? Yep.
Okay. And you girls are you're upset by this? The boys are silly?
Yeah. Yeah. But we don't care because
It's smart. It's very smart. So they're out there messing around. The girls aren't doing it so much anymore, and I think that's good. I think that's a that's good movement.
And what are you doing with that time instead? I mean, I know you're doing trampoline, gymnastics, but what else are you doing?
So when I'm not doing that, I'm also doing camp or I'm on vacation. Outside. School and homework.
Yeah. But you like being outside?
Yeah.
You guys near the beach?
We're like we we're really close to 6 Flags.
Oh. Oh, that's right. We live oddly close to each other. Right? Jesse.
Right?
Yeah. Yeah. We're a couple of towns over. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We we live very, very close to each other. Is it possible we've seen each other at a shop right or a Wawa one time?
We didn't even know it.
It's probably possible.
It's absolutely possible. I try to stay out of the Wawa now. There's not much in there for me. Not since I've, been on the GOP, as you know. Any other prop
time like, the last time I went to Wawa was, like, a while ago. It was when we were in Pennsylvania, and we got watermelon from there. That's all we got.
I I listen. This is this is just between me and Wawa right now, but you guys, you've ruined soft pretzels for the world. Everybody thinks those terrible pretzels that you sell are pretzels. We all know they're not. Why not just team up with the Philadelphia Pretzel Factory or something like that?
And and you know what I'm saying, Jesse. But these these cakey terrible oh god. I'm gonna curse and you're a small child here. That's how bad I hate these pretzels. Do better.
I mean, you you you got all that money to give to Jason Kelce. You can't give a little bit of it to pretzels? Am I wrong? Are you a Phillies fan, Brianna? No.
Oh my god. Are you you're a Yankees fan, are you?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh. Your father's let you down. You know that. Right?
We watch hockey though a lot.
Rangers or the Islanders?
The Devils.
The Devils. Oh my god. Terrible. I mean, they just they ruined my childhood.
Yeah. Devils devils are killing me.
Yeah. They're not that good.
Jesse, are you old enough to to understand that a trap defense ruined my teenage years?
If I no.
That's not a reference you understand?
No.
Okay. Well, the devils played in a horribly boring version of defense.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're trapped. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Okay. And they ruined Eric Lindros in all that time for us. I hope everyone's happy.
Please.
The devils the devils were solid back then.
Yeah. They had Brodure.
Not so much.
When Brodure was their goalie.
Brodure, Stevens, Danica. They're they're they used to be good.
Yeah. They used to be Yeah. Yeah. No. Not no more.
I see. They let New Jersey down. Brandon so, Brandon, you have good friends. You guys get together. You go to each other's houses.
Sounds like you're outside. You're staying off your phones, doing your homework. I like all of this. What do you want this is a very early question. You're gonna change your mind 10 times between now and then, but do you have any idea what what what are some of things you've been interested in, and where do you see yourself going after high school?
Nurse or Endocrinologist57:03
So I think I wanna go to college. I'm probably wanna be a nurse.
Oh. Oh, that's nice. My, daughter's friend, Nadia, she was here last night. She just graduated with her undergrad and in September, she's starting nursing school.
Nice. I'm either gonna be a nurse or an endocrinologist.
Oh, wow. Gonna go all the way?
Yeah.
That's good, Jess. You could just work another fifty or sixty years and and get all that taken care of for the college.
Well, I'm hoping that my wife, she
works Still works.
A nurse, and I hope she stays there. Oh, free tuition. I hope my daughter goes there. Oh. That's the plan.
Jesse's like, listen. Honey, do whatever you want. We just want you to be happy. As long as that happiness happens at Rutgers, that'll be fine. Or
or if you're gonna go someplace else, pick the place and, hopefully, my wife can get a job there and she could also get the same bathroom.
Unless mommy can get a job somewhere else. This is one of the greatest things. I have a friend whose kids both went to Princeton. He worked on the ground crew there.
That's amazing.
Yeah. That's awesome, isn't it? He went there absolutely free. He cut a lot of lawns and put down a lot of roads, and I know why he was doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah. Hey. Good dad. Alright. So what do I what am I not asking you, Brianna?
Like, what should I know about living with diabetes that you know and you wanna share with people?
If, like, if you're newly diagnosed, it's all gonna be okay. It's gonna be hard in the beginning, and giving yourself shots doesn't hurt after a while.
You stop worrying about that?
Yeah. Yeah. And the Omnipod is a good pump if you're a little kid, but, like, the control is not great. But the
What do you mean? Like, the screen?
Replaced a lot.
The like, you don't like the screen where you interact with it? What are you telling me about the control of it?
I feel like it just doesn't it doesn't, like, have great control like these other pumps and, like, the algorithm's not so great. But
You're 11. Where better. You're 11. Where'd you hear that from?
Your podcast.
Wait. You listen to the podcast?
Yes.
I didn't say I've never said those things, by the way. I just wanna say that. But
coming directly from me. She's she's she's, like Yeah.
That's from him. He he said he said that it sucks, and that I had a choice to do it. I
I don't think the Omnipod's aggressive enough, like, with the highs and stuff. And I think part of it part of it is, like, the way we're the way we do things and the way like, sometimes she'll forget to pre bolus. Sometimes she'll forget to bolus at all. And then once we get high, it's like a mountain to get her down.
Did you did you switch to the hunt the new 100 target?
It won't let us.
It's really weird. What do mean it won't let you?
Your pod does not support this.
Your pod doesn't support this. So you need new pods so you can do the 100 target?
I'm pretty sure.
How many how many pods do you have left before you get to that?
I don't know. I thought like, we had the g six, g seven pods. I don't know if there's a newer one.
Have you called them to ask?
Yeah. We so we literally just tried the 100 thing, like, yesterday or the day before.
Oh, okay.
So Yeah.
I think it's gonna be valuable for you. I also think that
I agree.
Yeah. I also am very, sort of excited after talking to them recently about about some things. I'm excited about the Omnipod six too. Yeah. So you've never used the Go ahead.
I'm sorry. I I've called them before for, like, different, like, you know, gymnastic strategies. Like, we we've had issues where because she's tumbling around and bouncing around like crazy. Like, I feel like every day after gymnastics, whether it's the morning or sometimes it makes it to the evening, the day after a gymnastics
practice. COL.
Like, I feel like the cannula just kinda wiggles its way out or something.
Yeah. I've That one's easy.
I've called them to say, hey. What what strategies can we do? Like, is it is there different different overlays other than the pod pals? Are there different
We use the ones with, like, the strap that goes over it. Those work better, but we like, they told us this technique that, like, instead of, like, pinching it when you put it on, like, stretch out, like, the skin a little bit. So it goes on and there's, like, room for it to move, and we I don't think we've had a single leaking pump since we tried doing that.
That's cool. But I have a better, option. Do know what Vetrap is?
We we used to use that, but I don't like it.
Well, you don't have to like it for it to work.
It's really uncomfortable.
You know what else is uncomfortable? Changing your pod.
Using a lot of insulin, changing the pod.
Jesse's That rap is Jesse's like, listen.
Can you come to my house? Can you come
to my
house and just say things while you're walking around out loud? Well, does it help you, Jesse, to know that you are saying things to your daughter that all of us are saying to our kids and adults with type one are quietly saying in their own heads to themselves?
It it's it's funny. And it's funny you said TikTok. I literally watched a TikTok video yesterday, and it was of a kid, you know, like, 18, 19, 20, or whatever going on a date. And he walks down to the car, and he opens the passenger door and lets his girlfriend in and then closes the door. And the caption of the video was essentially like, your kids are always paying attention.
At least he learned something or whatever.
At least he learned something.
Yeah. And it and I'm like, well, you know, it's it's true because your kids do listen, you know, and she's she pretty much said everything I've said. Whatever she said that's good or bad, I've said it.
I've learned to believe that some of it's gonna stick and some of it's not, and I'm not in control of what parts stick and what parts don't.
A 100%.
Yeah. And that hopefully, one day, if one of the things that didn't stick creates an issue, that their personal interaction with that issue will lead them to pivot and make a change. And if they don't, then I think we're at the part where we say people get to do whatever they want with their lives, and it's not up to somebody
else's thoughts. You just teach them as many good things as you can and hopefully and she has enough of those good things to take away that, you know, make
Yeah. Listen. I mean
poor character good.
Sure. Ben Franklin tried three hundred years ago, but maybe five more years is all Brianna needs. Brianna, everything that you've ever heard, like a t shirt slogan or a saying, those things are common because those are the things that people struggle with that other people are constantly saying all the time.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? So just pick a couple of those things and and be kind to yourself and do them.
Mhmm.
You know what I mean?
Kids Are Always Watching1:04:06
Yeah.
You have brothers or sisters?
I have one brother.
Are you smarter than him, do you
think? Yes. Mhmm.
How old is he? Seven. Oh my well, you should be. He's seven. Well,
I was smarter than him at his age anyways.
I'm sure he'll.
Because he watches these, like, YouTube videos. They're, like, brain rotting, but I did it. I had to watch educational shows when I was really little, and I'm really smart.
So Jesse, what happened? You give up after the first one? Yeah. Yeah. I get tired.
It was mom.
So Oh, your
mom get don't say well, I don't think it's a good thing for us to say that your mom gave up.
Gonna say too much. Okay. Alright. She was very she was strict with Brianna, and that has gone out the window. And and to be honest with you, like, I think since the diagnosis, we've we've definitely let a lot of stuff go, as far as just not being overwhelmed all the time or whatever.
But there's times where you're just tired or overwhelmed and, yeah, we we definitely have let changed perspectives and changed the way we do things a little bit.
Mhmm. No. I mean, listen. Maybe you've heard this the the saying something's gotta give. Yep.
Yeah. Yep. Exactly. Brandon, when you grow up, if you when you come back in ten years, when I will be, by the way, a 64 year old making a type one diabetes podcast, You tell me if this rings true. Moms have a strange and very interesting connection with their firstborn sons.
You see if that comes true. Okay?
K.
Alright. My my wife treats my son like he's the king of, the world. And sometimes he's not, by the way, and that doesn't seem to matter. That boy is her that's her boyfriend, that kid. You know what I'm saying?
Is your mom super nice to your brother?
Yep. Yeah. Do you
feel like he's not being, given the same rules because she likes him better? Yep. That's not why, Brianna. It's what I just told you. Okay?
There's a weird mystic connection between ladies and their sons. I don't understand it completely. But I only have forty more years, so I'm still trying to figure it out. Okay?
Figure it out. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm I I think I'm gonna get my wife figured out by the time I'm 80 for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Because then I can figure out my can I say something on the podcast that I'm hopeful no one ever hears in my own life?
I watched Arden last night yell at Kelly for something that she does too with, it felt like zero understanding that she was telling her to do something that she also can't do. Was it was fascinating.
Yeah.
One more context. She Kelly just had a procedure. She's supposed to be taking all these pills and vitamins and everything, and Arden goes, mom, just take this vitamin d. You just had this whole thing done. They told you to take this every day.
It's not hard. It's one pill. She used all of those words. I looked across the room and tried to hold the laugh inside of my face for as long as I could. Mhmm.
Because the very next day, said, Arne, hey. Don't forget these pills. And she said, I don't need your help taking my pills. I said, you haven't taken them in a week. Yep.
That's it. I don't know what's wrong with this.
Remember that lecture?
You get that one, Brown? Yep. Yeah. Are there pills you're supposed to be taking?
Well, I have vitamins that mom has me take sometimes, But she said, you don't like them. Well, nobody reminds me to take them, so I kinda forget about them. And my brother she puts them on my brother's place for him in the morning.
Well, that's
And I make my own breakfast to help her out
Uh-huh.
And she can't remind me to take them.
Unbelievable. What an what an absolute ingrate your mom is. Yep.
This is our life.
It's every hey. Listen, Jesse. It's everybody's life.
Yes.
So, sweetie, can you not set a timer on your phone?
I probably could, but I don't wake up at the same time every morning.
So tell you this. You wanna really get at your mom? You take your vitamins and set the vitamins out for your brother. That'll get her. Oh, she'll hate that.
And they'll make his breakfast.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, oh my god. She'll she'll she'll she'll pop up before you the next day. You'll be like, oh, you're up early.
Never let her also, never let her never let her hear this. I don't want her coming for me. I feel like she could probably find me.
Breakfast and her coffee.
Oh, you well, listen. Let's not get crazy. You got it. You got you gotta get out the door and get to school.
Yeah.
I got yelled at this morning for making a hardened breakfast. I said, hey. I got I I said I was up, so I got some stuff together for you. I thought it might help. I don't need help.
I didn't say you needed help. I was doing a nice thing. She went, mhmm. And that was the end of it. I have no idea what we're talking about half the I just all I know is I went up to my wife and I said, why are you all trying to kill me?
That's all I said. Said, do you have any idea how much I'd get done if everyone left me alone for five minutes? Nevertheless. Alright. So you wanna tell people it gets easier, shots don't hurt as much anymore, not something you're worried about, technology's good, you wish it would get a little better.
Have I heard everything? Also, I heard your dad say at one point, it's not aggressive enough even when we don't bolus. You know you have to bolus. Right?
I bolus, but sometimes, like, randomly when we go out to eat, I don't think. And then I just start eating, and I'm like, oh my god. I did bolus. Because when he reminds me because I completely forgot I had diabetes. I forgot, like, everything, and I was just like, oh.
I think for us too, like, going back to, like, the gymnastics, it's it's, like, it's not normal because we like, gymnastics nights, which is half the week, we're doing half boluses. So, like, our carb ratio and all that stuff for, like, gymnastic nights
Changes.
Would be cut in half if because of the activity. But then, like, on other days, like, show bolus, but we're not a it's just not the ratio is not a 100%. But then there's other days where, like like, now we're kind of falling into our summer routine where the bolus thing, it's we know the ratios are right because everything is good. Like, you you know, there's little activity right now. And
Yeah.
We're kinda transitioning, and numbers are good. And but it's
still weird. Imagine as the years go on, you'll you'll get better and better at all this, honestly. Because it it really does turn into an art form Yep. At some point. Yeah.
It just it's more of a feel. Mean, once your settings are good, it's more of a feel than it is a rule. Correct. Yeah. And it's just more time will will get you to there.
And, I mean, you already said you said at the very beginning, time is what got you this far already.
Yep.
So yeah. You guys I mean, you guys sound like you're doing great. Do you feel like you're doing great, Pearna?
Yeah.
Yeah. What what's the hesitation?
I just feel like sometimes I go really high and sometimes I get low and it's just, like, kind of annoying sometimes. Like Mhmm. Dad said I should switch to the Moby.
I mean, listen. I I think all the pumps work really well. I I think that if you do the thing you're supposed to do, the you know, they all some of I guess, each one of them has a shortcoming somewhere. Yeah. But if you do the things you know you're supposed to do, it should work.
I'm gonna guess that, like, another gen like, even the 100 target should be better for you because it's also not only is it a 100 target, but it also doesn't kick you out of automation as easily or for as long maybe if I'm right about that. And then
My my pump is really weird. Like, we went to a summit for breakthrough one time, and they were, like, talking about the Omnipod six, and it's, like, not supposed to kick you out of, automation, but mine never did that.
Oh, you don't have that problem to begin with. Yeah. Omnipod five, they just updated it about that automation kick out thing. And then six will come out. And then before you know it, as crazy as it sounds, you'll be wearing Omnipod seven one day, you know, or or or or Moby, Revenge of the Moby, or, you know, or whatever they're gonna call it.
By the way, if they use
I'm gonna I wanna switch to the, tubeless Moby, the Toby, when it comes out because I thought that would be, like, a good option because dad says I should switch to the Moby, but I don't wanna do tubes.
So Oh my god. Is the Yeah. Tubeless Moby gonna be called Toby? Yeah. I I just wanna
After say that, it's gonna be the Siggy.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
That means cigarettes, doesn't it?
No.
Alright. We gotta rethink that one. Okay. But I love Toby. By the way, when I when I pointed out that that your dad said that the algorithm wasn't strong enough, but that sometimes you don't bolus, I'm gonna guess about 45 to 50 marketing professionals spread across about five pump companies cheered in their cubicle somewhere.
Yeah. But but and even, like like, again, going back to the gymnastics, like, the bouncing it around and, like, leaky pumps, sometimes it's, you know, like, we think she doesn't bolus and then we go back and we look and we're like, nope. She did bolus, but the pump is just leaking. And it's it's related to the gymnastics because the, you know, the high level activity.
Yeah. But cannulas, you're gonna pull out from every pump.
Yep.
And and and and and fair enough that the the Omnipod is on body, so it rocks a little bit. Yeah. But, you know, if you cover it or hold it like, mean, listen. The answer is the Vetrap. She doesn't like the Vetrap.
The Vetrap would work.
I Yeah. Right. Yes.
It's like the ones the overlays with the strap over them work pretty well also.
Okay. They do help. My point here would be, it would be like buying a car, driving it till it ran out of gas, and then complaining that it ran out of gas because that's what cars do if you don't put gas in
them. Yeah.
And so you you do you know what I mean? Like, this is, like, this is not a perfect system. This is just Yeah. This is what exists. It's fantastic stuff.
I gave a talk to a bunch of kids on the ship, Juice Juice Cruise twenty twenty six that I just got back from. Juice Cruise twenty twenty seven going out of Port Canaveral, I think, wherever Orlando is, in, July 2027. Check out juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise">juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise for more information. And, another great group this year, not the point. We're sitting with a bunch of kids, and I tried to, like, gently, but, like, explain to them, like, how technology has moved through diabetes.
And the cruise attracts a really wide range of people. There's families there with young kids, middle aged kids, teenagers. There's adults with type one in their thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies on the cruise. It's a really eclectic group of people that I've somehow collected through our little podcast here. And, I was able to point across the room when I was talking to the kids.
We did a breakout session by age, which was, peer led and and went really well. And I said, there are people over there who've had diabetes for more than fifty years and they didn't have any of this stuff. And if you went over to them right now and said, hey. Complain about your Dexcom. Complain about your Libre.
Complain about your insulin pump. They wouldn't. They because I've talked to them. They'd go, oh, it's terrific. Every once in a while, it does this, but it's not a big deal.
But a person who's hand you know, a person who's handed it three years ago in a world where, you know, where cars actually do drive themselves, not fly, and, you know, when other stuff like that's happening, you're like, well, the thing doesn't thing. Like, how come it doesn't do the thing it's supposed to do? And I think it's I don't know how to, like, how to get the perspective that you need to realize that there are people living right now with type one still whose parents sharpened needles in their kitchen or boiled vials so that they could, you know, reinject again or Mhmm. Peed on a stick to find out what their blood sugar was and you know? I mean, stuff's pretty awesome.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
The Long View1:14:07
Like It really is insane when you think about it. No.
It's yeah. You just have to have once I listen. It's day to day. It doesn't help you. I hear what you're saying.
You jump around while you're doing things and the cannula pulls out. That sucks. We need to get that fixed. But my god. You could be you could be shooting beef and pork insulin.
You know what I mean? Yeah. You you you we'd be talking about in ten years? You'd be talking about you'd be talking about bad stuff. You know what I mean?
So Yeah.
And that's we like, we're we're a 100%, like I mean, it it's absolutely amazing. It's like, I think for us, it's just, like, the the the word that hits it hits it is frustration. And it's just like you go high and it's like, oh, we're high again. And it's like and and it's kinda like you said, the preventative. If we did little steps to prevent it, maybe that would improve because, like, once you hit that high and it's stubborn and, you know, and then now we gotta change the pod after two hours because it's not going down.
It there were things that we could have done to help help try to prevent it.
Yeah. I mean, listen. That right. That's the human condition right there around diabetes. So, like, you just have to figure out.
I'm not, like, I'm not coming down on you. I live the same life you live. You know? But I do find it valuable once in a while to step back. I just put an article up on the on the website for the podcast the other day, and it's just about even, like, how many people actually use insulin pumps.
It's a shockingly low number of people with type one diabetes. You know? And some of them are because it's access or some of it because money, and some of it's just because they just don't do it. CGM is being adopted at a greater rate than pumps are, but still there's plenty of people walking around right now shooting insulin with a needle and chestnut blood sugar with a meter.
Yeah.
So, anyway, you guys are, you're the masters of your own reality. You can do whatever you want. It's not up to me, certainly. I'm probably going to, push off into this day right now and ignore my own advice. So I'm I'm certainly
Just as just as we will. You know? It's
just Exactly. Although, I really might end up with one of those Philadelphia soft pretzels at some point now that we've talked about that. They're still not the best, Jesse, but they're better than what's going on now.
Yeah. I I agree.
You ever have the ones that they used to sell on the street in Philadelphia?
Oh, yeah.
Those are the best.
Yeah.
Yeah. They kinda tasted like exhaust a little bit, but once you got past that, they were the best pretzels.
They they they had they had a very unique flavor.
They did. Do you know how that all used to work? There's a place down there on, the boulevard, outside of of like, in Northeast Philadelphia that made them. I don't know the name of the place. But a lot of transient and homeless people would go in there and they with a little money and they'd buy the pretzels.
Then they go to the traffic light, sit at the light, and sell the pretzels at red lights. And people hearing that might be like, that's like, maybe you think that sucks or something. It's one of my, like, wonderful memories of growing up. It's like my dad seeing those guys and going, oh, hey. You know, let's stop and give this guy give this guy a hand and grab some pretzels and stuff like that.
I know he just peed in a bush, and I didn't care. You know what I mean? Like then he handed you know, we gave him a dollar a dollar for a bag of pretzels, and my dad would give him an extra dollar for himself. And then, now you go to this other place and seven pretzels is $19. I don't you're all I I can't take it, Jesse.
I'm done. Okay? This is it. Brianna, a pretzel's gonna cost $95 when you're my age. No.
No. I swear. You better get a job being the president of the universe or you're gonna be in trouble. You won't never have a pretzel. Alright.
You guys are awesome. I really appreciate you doing this. Brianna, you said everything you needed to say?
Yeah. Alright. But pretzels have been getting worse.
Thank you. I I'm glad I'm not the only one seeing it. God bless you and stay off TikTok for god's sakes.
Yes.
Okay? You don't need that. What do you need to do, Brianna? Give me your top three things you're gonna do moving forward. Go.
Make sure I pre bowl this.
Right.
Win nationals
Right.
And get my a one c to a five.
Well, listen. If I was you, I would've done the I would've done the vitamin thing to piss off my mom. But you do whatever you want. You do whatever you want.
Yeah. Yeah. I can do that too.
Do whatever you want, but, man, that would that would probably bring me a lot of joy if I was 11. I just wanna say.
Do that. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, mom, don't worry. I already took my vitamins and and got them out for the boy. He they're all set right on the table.
And made his breakfast.
And and I put a little breakfast over there for him. I'll see you later. I hope you have a good day. You don't even say anything else. You just roll right out of the house.
She'll seethe all day. She'll probably yell at your dad. I just want you to know that's
And I painted the shed and I made
some cough.
Let's not get crazy. Let the let the parents do the the big stuff. Okay.
Dad's gonna make me paint the shed though.
You know what I did this morning before? He's gonna make you paint the shed?
Yeah. Good
job, Jesse. Nice job. I pulled weeds this morning before this.
I don't know how to paint a shed.
He'll teach you. It'll be a nice memory. You'll love it.
If she does it, that'd be cool. I'll take it.
Yeah. Alright. Listen. I gotta go. I gotta wrap up call about the cruise right now with Suzanne.
We gotta talk about what went great what we wanna change for next time.
Yeah. We'll we'll definitely look into that because that seems like a really fun event.
Brianna, we had a great time. We really did. It's it's awesome. I I'll I'll tell you right here at the end. First year we did it, really good.
Some people are like, oh, I wish the ship would have been a little, like, more modern. So I think we might have overcorrected the second year. We were on, like, a really great ship, but it ended up being a little more expensive, probably too expensive for some people. And there was a little less to do for the kids on that ship. It was a little more of a an adult or adults with, like, calm children experience.
So now we have found the nice middle ground, between nice, child friendly, and more affordable, we're we're super excited about. We think this is the one that's gonna strike all the balance that we need. And, you know, maybe we'll look back one day during juice cruise twenty and say, you know, the first two years, we're we're getting going, but we really figured it out in the third year. So that's what we're shooting for. Yeah.
Alright, guys. You guys are terrific. I appreciate you doing this very much. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go live my life. I hope you, have a great summer, and good luck at Nationals.
Thank you.
You're very welcome. Have a great day.
You too. Thank you so much.
Oh, it's a pleasure. The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by US Med. Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. Get started today and get your supplies from US Med. I'd like to thank the Eversense three sixty five for sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box podcast and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every fourteen days, you want the Eversense CGM.
Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. One year. One CGM. To learn more and see if you might be able to get Twist from the pharmacy and try it for free, head to visit.twist.com/juicebox. That's visit.twiist.com/juicebox, or give them a call at 18774.
That's +1 (877) 489-4478, and tell them Scott sent you. TWIST requires a prescription and is indicated for people with type one diabetes ages six and older. If you'd like to hear about diabetes management in easy to take in bits, check out the small sips. That's the series on the Juice Box podcast that listeners are talking about like it's a cheat code. These are perfect little bursts of clarity, one person said.
I finally understood things I've heard a 100 times. Short, simple, and somehow exactly what I needed. People say small sips feels like someone pulling up a chair, sliding a cup across the table, and giving you one clean idea at a time. Nothing overwhelming. No fire hose of information.
Just steady helpful nudges that actually stick. People listen in their car, on walks, or rather actually bolus ing anytime that they need a quick shot of perspective. And the reviews, they all say the same thing. Small sips makes diabetes make sense. Search for the Juice Box podcast, small sips, wherever you get audio.
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#1904 I Killed My Own Pancreas
I Killed My Own Pancreas
Kaitlyn was diagnosed with type 1 at ten; a year later she’s running most of her own care with an A1C in the fives. She and her mom Jen share how they got there — calm, informed, and steady.
Jump to a moment




















- A year in, an 11-year-old is running most of her own care — and thriving. Kaitlyn does about 95% of her management at school, sits at an A1C in the fives (Jen cited a printed report around 93% time in range), and her mindset is simply: “I don’t fight my diabetes.”
- Type 1 can hide behind “normal.” Kaitlyn was active and seemed like herself for months — a slightly loose cheer uniform, more thirst, vague stomachaches — while her blood sugar climbed to 575 and her A1C to 14.7. Jen’s “mom gut” and a Google search (excessive thirst, weight loss, headaches) are what finally got them to the pediatrician.
- Knowledge lowered the fear. Jen — an architect and self-described type A planner — leaned on the Bold Beginnings and Pro Tips series during her commute, then relayed the key ideas to Kaitlyn and her husband. Her takeaway: you can’t control type 1, but you can manage it with tools, awareness, and a plan.
- Tight ranges and early corrections were a choice they made together. They correct sooner than their endo suggests, keep alarms tight, and treat lows small — “rather treat a low than fight a high.” Their care team has been supportive and even curious about what’s working for them.
- Calm is a skill, not a personality. Jen still gets up at night and manages her own health (PCOS, a clotting disorder, perimenopause), but her comfort comes from preparation — a stocked supply bag, a travel basal profile, community connections. A steady, prepared parent gave Kaitlyn room to feel capable rather than afraid.
- Bold Beginnings Series — for the newly diagnosed, with Jenny Smith; where Jen started (verify slug)
- Pro Tips Series — the management fundamentals Jen relistened to and “really clicked” (verify slug)
- juiceboxpodcast.com/clinician-share — a page for doctors to easily print, copy, text, or email the series to patients
- Tandem Mobi & t:slim (Control IQ+) — Kaitlyn uses the t:slim; sponsor link
- Dexcom G7 — the CGM Kaitlyn wears on her arm; sponsor link
- Friends for Life (Children with Diabetes) — the Orlando conference they hoped to catch (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — 74,000+ members talking type 1 (verify URL)
Every word of the conversation
Meet Kaitlyn and Jen0:00
Welcome back, friends, to another episode of the Juice Box podcast. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juice Box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you or a loved one is newly diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're seeking a clear practical perspective, check out the bold beginnings series on the juice box podcast. It's hosted by myself and Jenny Smith, an experienced diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal insight into type one.
Our series cuts through the medical jargon and delivers straightforward answers to your most pressing questions. You'll gain insight from real patients and caregivers and find practical advice to help you confidently navigate life with type one. You can start your journey informed and empowered with the Juice Box podcast. The bold beginning series and all of the collection in the Juice Box podcast are available in your audio app and at juiceboxpodcast.com in the menu. This episode is sponsored by the Tandem Mobi system, which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology.
Tandem Moby has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages two and up. Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. The episode you're about to enjoy was brought to you by Dexcom, the Dexcom g seven, the same CGM that my daughter wears. You can learn more and get started today at my link, dexcom.com/juicebox.
Hi. I'm Kaitlyn, and I was diagnosed with type one diabetes a little bit over a year ago.
Kaitlyn, how old are you?
I'm 11.
11. Who are we allowing to talk with us today besides you and I?
My mom.
Your mom. Hey, mom. What's your name?
Hi. I'm Jen. I'm the mom of Kaitlyn, my new relatively newly diagnosed t one d, and I also have a son who's a few years older Okay. Who is not t one d.
Who's not. And so alright. So a year ago.
March 2025.
Are there other people, Jen, in
your family who have type one diabetes or other autoimmune issues?
A Family Full of Autoimmune2:48
Yeah. So my aunt was actually diagnosed late about fifteen years ago when she was 60. Interestingly enough, I knew she had diabetes, but I had no idea what it was, what type it was. She's very private about it.
Mhmm.
So not until we were in the hospital didn't it come to light that that's actually the same as what she had.
I just wanna take this moment, Jen, to let the universe know that if I get something like that when I'm 60, I'm gonna be extra mad. I I I just because by 60, I'm gonna think, didn't I make it? You know what I mean? You know?
Right. Yeah. I'm retired. I almost retired.
Right. Right. Right.
We let's go.
Leave me alone. I'm out of this now. Right. But you said she kept it pretty private.
She kept it pretty private. She still does. We do talk occasionally. But she also has thyroid issues. My uncle, her brother, also has pancreatitis.
Mhmm.
And then I have PCOS, Raynaud's, and antiphospholipid syndrome, blood clotting disorder.
Oh my gosh.
Which I believe is also autoimmune. I was googling it last night.
Yeah. Can I guess? Is that your mother's side?
Mhmm.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Okay. Yep.
Oh, and then you made a couple babies. One of them is named Kate. But then Kate, you said you were gonna be called Kate, but then you introduced yourself as Kaitlyn. It's your last chance. What do want me to call you?
Kate. Kate. Alright, Kate. Tell me what you remember about diabetes when it started.
Chugging Water, Losing Weight4:22
So I was, like, chugging water, and I was, like, eating way more, but I also lost, like, 30 pounds
Oh gosh.
When I was diagnosed. And I remember being in the hospital and, like, eating it and being hooked up to, like, IVs and not really understanding what was happening.
Yeah. No. I I bet. How long were you drinking that water for? Before they took you to the hospital.
Do you know how long that was going on?
Five months.
You think it was months? Yeah. Jen, is that about your remembrance?
Yeah. Looking back, I would say noticeably a couple months because I remember Christmas, we got her a larger Stanley to be able to bring more water to school because she was just drinking so much. And we got a blue light blocking glasses because she was having headaches, and I couldn't figure out why.
Okay.
And that was Christmas. So from Christmas to March. So, yeah, a couple months. But even looking back, I think I started seeing signs even in November.
Okay. Kate, you got blue light blocking glasses and a better jug of water when when it looked like you had diabetes. That wasn't helping at all, was it? Nope. No?
So do you go to your mom and say you're not feeling well? Mom, do you guys start noticing things? Like, how do you think the I I guess, walk through the progression of the first time you thought, that's weird, till you got to medical help?
So I I think I started really thinking that's weird in, like, January. But looking back, so she had started cheer or she had been doing cheer that fall.
Mhmm.
And I remember in November at a competition looking being like, oh, her uniform's a little loose. I wonder if she had a growth spurt. And she was starting to have drink a little bit more then and eat a little bit more, saying her stomach was off. And I'm like, okay. Is this growing?
Is it you know, what what's going on? Is it a like, because she was doing the stomachache stuff. And I'm like, well, you know, are we starting to look at different foods? You know, I try to track at the dairy that's bothering her or gluten, and I wasn't coming up with anything. And then I as I told you at Christmas.
But then January, February, she kept losing weight, and it didn't it didn't make sense. And then one day, she got on the scale, and it was it was pretty close to thirty pounds. And I was like, oh, okay. Something's not right here at all. And then I just googled it.
And I would say it was probably mid February I googled it.
Doctor Google Says Diabetes6:43
And I was like, well, that doesn't make sense.
I can't be diabetes.
That you got diabetes when you googled.
I googled excessive weight, headaches, excessive weight loss, drinking, headaches, and stomachache.
Okay.
Those seem to be, like, the major by February, those were what I was saying were, like, okay. Major things. And then it did come back diabetes. And, of course, it came back with, like, 10 other things as well. But diabetes was the one that was kept coming up more and more.
And I remember talking to my husband about it, and both of us were just like,
that doesn't make any sense.
Mhmm.
It can't be. And and you kinda talk yourself out of it. Yeah. Like, ugh. Because she was still fine.
She was still active. You know, she was still not wanting to go to bed at night. She was still not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Like, a lot of things didn't change. So it was really easy to be like, oh, that's just weird.
Well, let's just keep an eye on it.
I see.
And then and then I and then I was like it was probably another week or two, and I'm like, this it's just that mom gut. I was like, something isn't right. And so I that's when I reached out by like, through MyChart portal to a pediatrician, and I I didn't let on what I thought it was because I was starting at that point to really think maybe it was diabetes, but also had no idea how critical the timing could be.
I see.
Right? Like Yeah. I didn't realize that we could be within days of, you know, bigger issues. And so I reached out and said all the symptoms, and they immediately called me. And they started questioning how's she acting?
How's she feeling? I'm like, she's fine. And they're like, okay. Well, we wanted to go get some blood work done. And we were just really busy that time of year, and and I was, like, trying to get my son off to a camp.
And I was like, well, can we go this was, like, Thursday. I'm like, can we go Saturday morning? And I'm like, yeah. That's fine. Unless you notice any big changes between now and then.
So it was even a couple days before we went to get the blood test because I think because she was still acting
Okay.
Kinda like herself.
Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like they handled it pretty well, actually. And and Yeah. You can I ask that during this time, the googling and the wandering and googling again, is Kate involved in this, or is this a thing your husband and you were privately doing?
She was involved, I think, in more of the conversations of like, how do you feel? You know, did you eat something that was making your belly feel off? Did you you know, how much did you drink today? But she she wasn't involved in any conversation of this Google's coming back as diabetes.
Yeah. And Kate Kate So I know this is a weird question because you were, what, nine when that happened? But
10. 10.
10. 10. Yep. And when
it happened? Okay. Like, it's a weird question because you're younger, and you're probably not accustomed to this. But did you ever, like, look at your mom and dad and say, I don't think you're right, or this is serious? Or did you feel like did you feel like, oh, they're taking care of it and it'll be okay?
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No. Some of the stomachaches, I was like, it's not I'm not exaggerating, mom. Because, like, mom thought it was just me progressing. Think of, like, I'm not exaggerating. My stomach actually hurt.
It really hurts. And and compared to other stomachaches that you've had since then or before, was it much worse, or was it pretty pretty much the same as you've always experienced?
Pretty much the same. A little bit worse.
A little bit worse. Okay. So nothing that would make anybody go, Okay. So I guess that blood work got you there. Right?
What was her let's see. From your description, months, she was still moving, her blood sugar was can I guess? Do you know what her blood sugar was?
575, and a Bone-Cancer Scare12:59
So on that this is a funny story with that. So, yes, we found out her blood sugar was five seventy five when she was tested.
Yeah.
So it was a very long start, I think, knowing that I was when looking back, I think it was, like, November to March. So, yeah, five seventy five. But what happened was so she went in Saturday. Sunday morning, I'm up first, and I start getting the MyChart test results in. And the first thing that comes in is some blood test, and it wasn't sugar.
It wasn't her glucose. It was some blood test, and then then I and it it was, like, flagged abnormal. And so I googled that. Right? Because doctor Google once again.
It's Sunday morning at, like, eight in the morning. I'm like, what the heck is this? And it was basically coming back that either she was dehydrated or she had bone cancer.
Oh.
And I'm like, oh, well, oh, she can't be dehydrated. She's drinking, like, 80 ounces of water a day.
Oh my god, Jen. You thought she had bone cancer from that?
I thought she had bone cancer because how could she possibly be dehydrated? She drank so much water. Right? Like, I didn't
I mean, it's a fair it's a fair thought. Right.
And so I'm like, no. My husband's still sleeping. My son, we're try I'm, like, trying to make plans to pick him up because he was away camping. Kaitlyn's still sleeping. And then so I I go as I'm walking upstairs, I wake up my husband.
I'm like, oh my god. I don't know. Like, this is what it's saying. You know? Then her pediatrician calls.
And now this is, like, 09:00 on a Sunday morning. Mhmm. Her pediatrician calls. And this has been our pediatrician since my son was born, so for thirteen years at this point.
Okay.
And I'm like, this this isn't this isn't good. Like, you don't get a call from the pediatrician Ever. Sunday morning Yeah. Ever.
He's in his pajamas right now, or she?
Right. He he and he's been great. And and so he's like so he told us what her blood sugar was, and then I'm like, oh, well, so on the way to get her blood drawn, my husband stopped and got a refresher and a doughnut for her because she didn't really wanna go get her blood drawn. Like, that's gonna be why. Right?
You know, because again, you just don't know. Yeah. And he's like, yeah. No.
No. That's not how that works. Well and so there you are.
So she
goes on Sunday. You guys go to the hospital, I guess.
Yeah. So he was he was good. He was so we're in Massachusetts. He's like, you can either go to UMass, which is in Worcester, which has a pediatric ER and a pediatric endocrinology team, or you can go into Boston to, I think he said, Boston Children's. And I said, well, UMass pediatric ER.
I've been I've been there before for other things with kids. So I'm like, let's just go there. And he's like, you're probably gonna wanna pack a bag. I you know, we explained, I think this is type one diabetes. They're gonna confirm it there.
If it is, you're gonna stay you're like, we're gonna stay overnight a couple nights, so you probably wanna pack a bag. But I didn't wanna worry her, Kaitlyn, like Yeah. That we're potentially going for days. So I said, let's pack a let's pack a day bag. Let's pack, like, an ER bag with some snacks and its phone chargers and some stuff to do, And we'll pack our overnight bags just in case we have to stay, you know, and then we'll be up to daddy to decide what we're gonna wear.
And so she was on board with that. So we each packed overnight bags and left them, figuring that if we were gonna stay, Chad, my husband, her dad was gonna come in and, know, with us.
Did did you guys tell her at that point that that you thought she had type one?
Telling Kate16:34
Yay. We did? Mhmm. I remember sitting at the kitchen table crying.
Wow. Jeez. And so was it was it Kate, what's the word I'm looking for? Was it hectic? Like, were your parents, like, flipping out a little bit, or were they calm?
How do you remember that?
They were kinda calm, but they didn't know which was worse. So, like, my breakfast that day, I hadn't had breakfast yet because it was, like
Bizarre.
Eight in the morning on a Saturday. So they're like, this thing has more carbs, but this thing has more sugar. Which one do I give her?
That's what you remember them saying?
Uh-huh.
Yeah. Started right away, Jen?
Honestly, I I don't remember that. So I'm I'm I'm a type a planner. She's she's actually my mini me. But I immediately whenever anything comes up, I just go into, like, plan mode, what we were gonna pack, who was gonna get, you know, our son from scouts, and how you like. It's kinda how I cope.
But Mhmm.
I so I don't even remember that in my interaction.
I was, like
Well, you
know immediately, like, trying to figure out, like, what we needed to bring and what we needed to do and Yeah. Who was gonna go where. And
Well, we move forward, I think we have to acknowledge that people make fun of it all the time, but Google did a really good job for you.
They did do it did do a really except for the bone cancer part, but
Oh, still.
It did do a really good job because, you know but it it still I think I not having anyone that we knew at that point, we didn't know to take to get moving on it. You know what I mean? Like, we could've gotten diagnosed even earlier if, like, we've moved on it. And we're fortunate she was not in DKA. Her a one c was 14.7.
So that also kinda shows that it had been going on
for a Yeah.
I'm I'm actually really grateful she was only five seventy five.
Actually, I realized I I was guessing in my mind in my mind, I was talking to myself. And I I thought she's probably in the mid fives. And I should have said it out loud because now nobody will believe me that I was close. But I it might be a new game on the podcast where I start guessing people's blood sugars at diagnosis. I'll I'll think about that.
There you go. Yeah. Based on their description of how they work.
Well, yeah. I just I realized as you were talking, I was like, oh, she's probably that long. Just you know, you were talking about how she felt, but how she was. And I was like, yeah. It's probably in the mid fives.
And, nevertheless, another skill I'll have nothing I can ever do with. So so, Kate, you didn't like the hospital. Right?
I hated it.
Hated it. You hated it because it was scary, unknown, boring, all the above. What did you not like about it?
All the above and, like, they just kept poking me with needles.
Mhmm. Yeah. That's not easy to like, don't think. How do you do with your needles now, Kate? Like, with I'm assuming you have a pump maybe?
Yeah. I have the t slim.
Okay. How do you deal with putting in your infusion sets, things like that?
Like, it's pretty good. Sometimes it hurts. Like, last night, I had to do a site change, but I had to take out the one we just put in because it hurts so bad.
Oh, well, it sucks. Do you do you how do you deal with it when it hurts? Do you say a bad word? Do you flinch, cry, hold somebody's hand? What do you do?
Like, cry.
Cry? Yeah. I would too. I just want you to know. And then last night, one went in and it hurt so badly.
What do do? You go to your mom and say, hey. This has gotta come out?
I after my dad put it in, I'm like, dad, get it out. I don't it hurts really bad.
Okay. And do they sometimes hurt and then stop hurting? Or if it hurts, you know it's gonna be like that?
If it hurts for, like, over forty five seconds, then I know it's gonna hurt Okay. For the rest of the time. But if it only hurts for, like, twenty seconds, then it's less and less and less.
Yeah. Do people help you with these things right now, Kate? Are you putting them by yourself or somebody helping you?
I can do, like, all this stuff.
Okay. That's cool.
And, like but I can't put it in by myself.
I see. Now when you get out of the hospital, are you feeling better, or does it take time for you to feel better?
I was feeling better after I got out of the hospital. I did my first finger stick, like, five days out of the hospital.
Mhmm.
And I did my first insulin injection, like, two months out of the hospital.
Two months out. Can you tell me a little bit about what that's like to be told that, like, forget everything else. Just you're gonna have insulin that's gonna go in through a needle. Maybe you'll get a pump one day. This is gonna be, you know, every day.
And is there do you have internal thoughts about that? Do you have thoughts that you share with your parents? Like, I'm looking for how it really made you feel.
The Diabetes-Alert Cat21:38
No. But my cat was like, she can tell when I'm low and when I'm high.
Wait. You have a you have a diabetes alert cat?
Basically. She's 18, and she's being very annoying right now. She's on my lap and trying to scratch her face on the computer. No. You want
me to come get her out of your room, honey? Yes.
But, like, one time, I was going low, and I didn't know I was going low because my Dexcom was, like, not saying I was low.
Mhmm.
And my cat came down, and she, like, sat on one of the kitchen table chairs next to me while I finger stuck. And I finger stuck, and I was slow.
Oh, wow. And and the does she do that all the time, or was that one time it did happen?
Yeah. Most of the time, she'll, like if I'm high, she'll just sit on my nightstand, like, crying until someone comes in and, like, finger sticks me and tells her, like, I'm okay.
Oh, wow. That's pretty cool. That's really, really cool. You didn't teach her any of that. Right?
Or you just talk to her, let her know what's going on? How does it work?
I didn't, like, teach her anything. She just one day
Start doing it.
And was, like, crying at me. I'm like, what? And my finger stuck. And I was, like, in the seventies, like, low seventies.
No kidding. But go so going back though to, you know, being told the or I guess coming to the understanding that you're gonna do these shots every day, there's gonna be multiple ones. You don't feel a certain way about it. You just do it because that's what's supposed to happen?
Yeah.
Okay. And have you had thoughts about it since then, or is it just kind of turned into, like, how things go when it feels very common to you now?
Yeah. It just turned into thing how it goes.
Okay. How about with your friends at school? Are people aware that you have diabetes? Is a thing you share?
My Pancreas Rage Quit23:38
Yes. Like, on the second day of school, I did, like, a thirty, forty five minute long presentation to my class about type one diabetes, why I have a phone and my pump and why I'm gonna beep and everything. And I use the term my pancreas rage quit on me.
It rage quit?
Yeah. And that's how they understand.
But what's the thing what's the thing that people were saying last year, Jen? Quiet quitting? People just weren't showing up to work anymore?
Yeah.
Yep. Yeah. That's it sounds like that. Yeah. So far but hers just got mad and left all at once.
Yep. Yeah. She's wearing a shirt right now. What does it say, Kate?
Don't mess with me. I killed my own pancreas.
That's very funny. So you've shared it with your friends. You're comfortable with it. And have you, like, come a long way? And how did you, like, how did you get where you you have come a long way.
But, like, how have you gotten here? How do you learn things? How do you get prepared to count carbs to make this part of your life?
I just I don't fight it. I don't fight my diabetes. I don't say, I'm not doing that. I don't wanna do that. And, like, it helps that my friends know what it is.
Like, my best friend that I've known for, like, three years knows what a glycemic index is.
That's nice. That's very nice. How did you know not to fight it? Is that something that someone taught you, or is it something you came up with on your own?
Something I came up with on my own. I just knew I had to do it to keep myself alive. So
Yeah. Have you had that thought about other things in your life? Have you ever been like, I have to go to bed now. I shouldn't fight it.
No.
No. That you fight?
Yes.
Yeah. Every night.
Yeah. Because if you go to sleep then you might miss something. Right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Do you ever miss anything? Like, when you stay up, you're like, oh, I'm so happy I stayed up. This is way better than going to sleep.
Only on New Year's Eve.
Three hundred and sixty five days a year and only one day is worth staying up for?
Yeah.
Yeah. I agree with that. It turns out getting good sleep is good for you. Makes the day better. Right?
Yeah.
The Great Bedtime Debate25:58
Yeah. But you still your mom's like, it's time to go to bed, you say, I don't want to. What time is she trying to make you go to bed, Jill? What time are making this kid go to bed?
So I try for eight. I'd be happy at 08:30, but we typically leave her room after nine, 09:15.
Eight. What do you where'd you say you live? You're on the East Coast. You're trying to make that kid go to bed at 08:00? Yeah.
Kate, I'll fix this for you.
Hold on second.
Well, she has to get up at 06:15 in the morning. Yeah.
But that's ten hours of sleep.
Yeah. She's
eleven. Ask her how
well she gets at wait. Ask her how well she gets out of bed and how refreshed she is in the morning.
Well, no. Of course not. Because nobody wants to get up at 06:00 in the morning. Doesn't matter if you've been sleeping for three days. Who's doing that?
Hey. What time would you like to go to bed?
09:30.
Alright.
09:45.
09:45. Wow. But it's not tied to tell you you know, all this when I was a kid, Kate, I'm very old, but when I was a kid, all this was tied to television. Like, you wanted to stay up to watch something on TV, but that doesn't matter anymore. So what are you doing when you stay up?
Like, calling and texting my friends and watching movies.
Oh, I see. And your brother is older. You just say brother. Right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Does he stay up later?
Usually, I'm up later than he is.
Oh, he's what they call lightweight. He can't hang. Right? He gets sleepy?
He just, like, goes to bed. And, usually, like, my mom comes out of his room and my dad's still in my room. Or if my dad comes out of his room, my mom's still in my room
Okay. And still up. Hey. Okay. Wait a second.
When I I really I'm a little stuck on this, Kate. Like, so you wanna stay up, but you wanna stay up and talk to your friends. That means your friends are awake too.
Yes.
And then you sleep still, like, what, eight hours?
Yeah.
But then why can't you get up?
I don't know. I have, like, four alarms set, and I still barely wake up.
We joke with Arden because she has alarms on her phone. You know how people settle do you have alarms on your phone? K.
I have two alarms set on my alarm clock and, like, two alarms set on my phone.
I think Arden has an alarm every fifteen minutes on her phone from 6AM till two in the afternoon. It's sometimes sometimes she's dressed and moving around the house, like, leaving for a class, and her alarm goes off. And I'm like, time to get up. And she goes, that's my alarm for time to leave, not time to get up. And I go, okay.
I don't believe you, but okay. Those alarms go off so much sometimes, and they don't wake you up. Right? No. Your mom's gonna come get you.
Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. And and let me ask you a question. Be honest, Katie. If you went to sleep at 08:00, you think you'd pop out of bed at six like, whoo.
Let's go? Nope. No way. Okay. I'll see.
There you go, Jen. Let her stay up. What's the difference?
That's nice. She's like, thanks.
No. Look. I I should tell you to listen to your mom. She has your best interest at heart. Okay?
And who knows? Maybe she's right. And what are you talking about with your friends anyway? What's so interesting? What's going on?
Are you talking about other people? Boys? School? What are you talking about?
My best friend and I argue over this one stupid thing about who loves each other more. Like, I tell her, it takes, like, five minutes to settle that we love each other equally.
Mhmm. But you gotta do it every day? You can't just remember?
Yeah. We have to do it every day.
I see. Well, how are gonna make her not do that, Jen? That seems heartless of you. So what do you do for your diabetes in before bed? Is there anything you'd have to do?
You know, do you take a snack? Do you stay nice and stable because you're you're moby? Like, how does that work? How does sleeping go?
I used to when I was just diagnosed, I used to try and get bed at 01:50.
Mhmm.
That'll be, like, one hundred and be, perfect. I'm ready to go to bed.
Nice. Do you get low overnight ever?
Not really anymore.
Oh, and when it does happen, how does it get handled? Who does mom come in like super girl?
Uh-huh. Yeah. Is sugar picked until, like, finger stick me? But, like, I'm half asleep. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Like, I'm not really conscious. Like, my eyes are open and I'll be talking. But she'll be like, you were talking about something last night. I'll be like, no. I wasn't.
Yeah. I Arden's I was asleep. Bananas in her sleep and not remembered it the next day. You think you could eat a banana while you were sleeping?
I was drinking a juice box while I was sleeping.
I bet you could, actually. Hey. This is, what they call apropos of nothing, but the new Sugar Pixel will have a cartoon representation of me as a pirate on it in case you're interested.
Yeah. We actually ordered that one. It should be we ordered it after your that last
launch Oh, did you really? Oh, that's
so cool. Well, we have so we have three right now all over the house, but we have a camper. So when they started talking about the new one being able to connect easier or connect when you're, like, in a hotel or camping, I was like, bye.
Oh, you got That's awesome. Yeah. Oh, oh, that's so cool. It's a very, very handy very handy device. That's for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
Now, Kate, what I I guess I should ask you. If there's another little girl listening, what do you wanna tell her about diabetes?
It Does Get Better31:38
It does get better. Not every day is as bad as you think it's gonna be. Like, the days that you do have sight change or get shots that hurt really bad, there's gonna be a day tomorrow that you'd the shot's not gonna hurt as bad or your sight or you're not gonna have to change your sight.
Yeah. How often do you have days that you feel like they weren't good days?
Like, what so twice a month, maybe.
So not even every site change is a problem?
Yeah.
Okay. How do you like having your CGM, I imagine, on your phone? Is that a thing you enjoy? Do you use it?
Yeah. Do
you use it more to like, I guess I wanna know how involved are you in the management of your insulin. Like, do you use it to keep track of what's going on so decisions can get made? Or you do you use it more like, oh, no. There's an alarm. I have to do something.
At school, I do, like, 95% of my managing. Really, all the school nurses do is if I go really low
Mhmm.
They, like, call my classroom and give me the carbs for my lunch.
Hey. What was your last a one c?
Six point something or 5.9, something like that.
Is that right, John?
Yeah. So we've been since last summer, we've been between five point six and six point two or six point yeah. 6.2, I think.
And you would say that that she's managing most of that?
She at school, she does quite a bit of managing. We do quite a bit of text managing together too. Nice. Her school nurses are awesome. They're really willing to, you know, work with how we wanna manage it.
And from you, we learned, you know, tighter tighter alarms, keep tighter control.
Okay.
She she hates being off at 02:30. So we'll start correcting way earlier than the endo would like us to.
The endo doesn't want you to correct the 200 blood sugar?
They wanna say at go ahead, Kate. They say 300 for three hours, then you can correct.
Boston. Come on. You're right there on the coast to act like it.
Actually, this is with Worcester. But, yeah, they they we we correct when we feel like we need to correct.
Good for you. Hey, Keith.
I remember early on listening to one of your pot very, very early on when we were still trying to, like, get her to bed at 01:50, you had said, like, oh, if you saw Arden's number going, like, 01:30, 01:40 with, like, straight arrow up, you'd start deciding, you know, if you were gonna correct. And I remember, like, this was, like, a weekend, and I heard that. And I was like, that's bonkers. And now I do the same thing.
Hey. Can you say Worcester with the accent for me, Joan?
With the accent?
Yeah.
Worcester.
Thank you. Appreciate it. I feel like I just heard Ben Affleck read the phone book.
Yeah. Well, that's yeah. We could, for sure.
You see it when they did that? Matt and Ben got on some late night show, and they
I did.
Yeah. They read the towns in in in Massachusetts. Very funny.
Yeah.
Okay. So okay. So you're doing a good job. Kate, you're doing now when she when she gets home, does she, like, throw that phone at you? Like, you're on, lady.
And or does she keep doing it?
I think she keeps doing it. It's, you know, it's more of a team effort when she gets home. But, like, we'll often just tell her the carbs, but I I would say 95% of the time, she's the one putting in the information. I may be more than that. She's the one putting information into her pump as to the carbs, whether we're gonna, you know, split, extend, all that stuff.
I mean, the the I the t slim is awesome because she doesn't even have to have her phone on her. She could just pull it out Mhmm. And do it right on the screen. So that that was her choice for a pump, and it's actually worked out really well. And being able to extend, we've really nailed a few of the common foods we eat all the time.
Really? She knows exactly what to do.
What's
the for breakfast, she eats the same thing. So all I have to just double check-in the morning, did you bowl us? She's like, yep. And we don't that's all we talk about.
Yeah. That's awesome. Do you are you happy with the level of interaction you and your mom have over this, Kate? It does it feel like it's too much, or does it feel just right?
It feels just right.
Nice. Why do you think you understand this so well, Kate? Like, how did you how did you I mean, your mom taught it to you, I imagine, or did you figure it out as you were doing it?
Both.
Both. Okay. So you're really paying attention. How do you know to be this, responsible?
I don't know.
Is it just how she is, Jen?
Yeah. She's a really responsible kid. She's like I said, she's my mini me. She's a little type a rule following great kid.
Mhmm. So she just she
and she knows she feels yucky out of the range.
So we don't wanna feel that way, Kate. Is that it?
Yeah.
Yeah. That's great. Good for you.
Does
it ever take you away from things? Do you ever find yourself doing diabetes instead of something else you wanna be doing? And how do you manage that?
I mean, sometimes, but, like, when I'm at birthday parties, I had them on my phone, and I'm like, you're my pancreas for the day. Thanks.
Get going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's nice.
That must feel really good that she's there to do that. Right?
Uh-huh. Like, I did a puppy yoga birthday party once, and she was my patriots the entire time.
Nice. Puppy yoga? That sounds nice. Did they smell good like little puppies?
They were really cute. They had, like, puppies and ducks. And
Puppies and ducks? Bunnies. Oh, bunnies. Oh, ducks would be nice too, but okay.
They did have ducks. They had puppies, ducks, and bunnies.
Hey. Hey, Kate. How involved is this Chad guy in all of this? What do
you call him? Involved?
You call him dad, I imagine. Right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Is he does he know about the diabetes too? Does he help you sometimes?
Yeah. He does, like, almost all my site changes. Like, he does, like, the pump site changes, and mom does, like, the Dexcom site changes.
Mhmm. How'd you get the one and not the other
one done?
So we we stumbled probably about four, six months ago onto the soaking concept of the Dexcom. Mhmm. And we just kinda follow a really regular schedule with it. So it gets her grace period starts at, like, seven or eight in the morning when we're getting ready for school. So that's when I put the new one on, and he's already left for work.
K. And so then when she's late afternoon is then when we, you know, get it started up and going. And who who's ever home with her at that point? We'll do that part and and get it rolling on her phone first. Once we're really accurate, like, we're confident that it's pretty close, then we'll change it over on our pump.
Nice. And that we super accurate with that lately. So it's just the timing. Like, we just try to keep it to more of a schedule with it so that we, one, remember to do it, but also just just kinda flows, and and it's worked really good for us.
Type A, and 49 With an 11-Year-Old38:57
Jen, is your type a anxiety based, or is it rule following based?
Yes. Both.
Oh, yes. You said you have you have Hashimoto's, Jen?
No. My Your mom.
My aunt Your aunt does.
Has some thyroid. No. I that's one thing I don't have yet. Probably, we'll see where that goes. But, yeah, I've got PCOS, Raynaud's, and antiphospholipid syndrome, blood clotting syndrome.
I'm sorry. Yeah. You said all that. I'm I'm I'm digging in here with everybody.
Oh, that's okay.
Forgot. PCOS, difficult to get pregnant, didn't have any trouble, painful, been better since you got older, worse?
So it's the pedal kinda came about after the blood clots. So the blood clots were found because I had been on birth control. So they took me off of birth control. And then that year, I went I was 30. I went off of birth control.
I gained, like, 20 pounds over the summer. And I was like, something like, I was working out, nutritionist. I'm like, my body is not working right. And then I really noticed, like, my periods were really irregular.
Mhmm.
And so then that within a year, I had that diagnosis. I actually went on metformin, and it started regulating my cycle. So I did not have trouble actually getting pregnant. Okay. I think because the metformin, you know, regulated everything so well.
That's lucky. What how is it now?
Same thing. I'm still on the metformin. I'm 49, so it's starting to be some, you know, perimenopause fun mixed in, which is awesome.
Jen, how did you end up being 50 years old with an 11 year old?
We we got a little bit well, a little bit later, sir, we want to we designed and built our own house. So we kinda wanted to get that done pre kids.
Okay.
So that was all happening while, like, the PCOS stuff was going on and all of that.
So I gotta ask you now in the future, how how is your old ass feel about that decision when your 11 year old doesn't wanna go to sleep at 08:00?
I know. Right? Hey. Well, the other one's fourteen. So, you know, it's I know.
Thirty five.
I I don't know how to feel, but, like, you're talking, and it occurred to me. My kids are 26 and almost 22, and I'm only four years older than you. And I thought, oh, thank god I did it like that. Yeah.
I know. I when I Kaitlyn's friends, like, I met the mom, you know, last summer or something, and I was talking. And I'm looking at her, and I'm like, I think I'm older than your mom.
And he's like, okay. I'm not gonna have
that thought again. We'll just move on.
Kaitlyn, wait a year in high school and somebody asked what what your grandmother's doing here, you're like, that's my mom.
On the bright side, both my husband and I actually live pretty young, so I think we have at least that going for us.
Oh, I tell myself that too.
Yeah. Yeah.
I Just
trying to get the wrinkles to go away.
There was a there was a time in my thirties when I really did look younger than I was, and now I just live off the memory that I used to look younger than I am. So Yeah. I'm seeing how long that'll last.
Yeah. Me too.
Yeah. Good for you. So did you ever consider a GLP?
I actually yeah. I I actually started one. Oh, I started working with a hormone specialist last year. And that's helped. We're doing very low and slow.
Can't really get into the hormone stuff yet because of the blood clotting factors.
Okay.
So we're trying to dive through that on what's okay, what's not okay.
Mhmm.
But, yeah, very, very low dose compounded, and and that's helped quite a bit.
Awesome. Awesome. That's true. That's really great. Okay.
Okay. Why did you wanna do this? Is there something you wanna tell people? Are you just a huge fan of me and you wanna say hi? What are we doing this for?
I don't know.
Did your mom tell you we're doing it?
Well, last week, do you wanna be on a podcast? I'm like, yeah.
Yeah. And
she's like, okay. Cool. Do you wanna talk about diabetes on a podcast? I'm like, or? So she got me
on a podcast. Are you getting a day off from school for this?
Yes.
Hey. Is is there something you wanna say to me, kid? It would be like, you're very welcome. Enjoy your day off. Okay?
What are you gonna do with the rest of it?
I have to get another endocrinologist appointment then. I have to get blood drawn, but other than that
Oh.
I got to sleep in an hour. And
Did you pop up at seven? Were you like, see, this extra hour really is important? Not really. No. I was gonna make the argument that maybe you shouldn't have to go to school because if you could just sleep till seven, everything would be okay.
But, apparently, you're not getting up one way or the other.
Like, I woke up better, but it wasn't like
Ten thousand. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you.
I still had to have alarms. Like, on the weekend, I'll sleep till 08:00, and I'll wake up whenever I wanna wake up.
Mhmm.
We should write a note to the school, see if they could maybe push that start time back till nine. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Let you roll in at a comfortable time. I'm for that. I don't like getting up early if I don't want to. When I when I wake up, I'm happy about it. But if I'm tired, I would like to sleep.
What do you how how do you like school?
It's fun, and my schedule's good because it's like I have I have two teachers, and I start in homeroom, and I have two classes in that homeroom. Mhmm. And then I go, and I have specials, lunch, recess. Then I go to my switch class, and I have two subjects in that class. Yeah.
And then I go home.
Jen, when does the schedule get more rigorous? At what age?
So next year, she's still in the same school. I think she'll have three two or three teachers.
Okay. Two.
Unless math, sometimes they'll pull out for is for math, but that kinda depending on what group she's with. But then when she goes to junior high, then it starts to be seven classes, forty five minutes each, switching three minutes between. So seventh grade is at a junior high, and that's when I think it gets a lot more chaotic in the schedule.
Two Kinds of Anxious45:30
This is gonna be really interesting if the if my recording schedule lines up with our production schedule because I interviewed a a lovely woman yesterday who is so anxious and up and worried about everything about diabetes. And as I'm talking to you guys, I don't feel that from you at all. So is it that you're not anxious and worried, or is it you manage it that anxiety and worry differently?
I think we manage the anxiety and worry differently. I think for me I mean, I know it's an old saying, but, like, knowledge is power.
I
found your I don't even remember how I found your podcast, honestly. I think I the first couple weeks were blur, and I I can say more of on that story in a minute. But I found your practice. I started listening, like, randomly. Like, I think I listened to a pro tip series first, and I was like, woah.
This is a lot. And then kinda figured back way into, okay, bold beginnings and pro tips and then stuff. And I drive half an hour to work in the morning and then on the way home. And so I can pretty much do, you know, an episode a day, and I just soaked it in. And then I'd come back in, like, the really key parts I'd repeat to her and to Chad.
And I think we just I mean, that first appointment three months later, that's when we were at a 5.6 a one c, and we were MDI. And it was just like, you know, I I I can't control. It's an uncontrollable seat. Like, you can't control it, but you can manage it with tools and knowledge and awareness. And I think that kinda gives both of us well, all of us comfort, you know?
Yeah.
Easier to it's almost easier to stay in range than to try to, like, get back in range. Like, you always I think you've said this before.
I agree. Yeah.
I'd rather treat a low than fight a high.
Mhmm. It's funny. As you
kinda taken that on.
That's awesome. As you're describing it, it occurred to me it's like it's like getting a a saddle on a on a and a bit in a wild horse and maybe, like, getting some spurs and jumping on, holding on, being like, look, this thing is what it is. It's a powerful, you know, it's a powerful animal. It's gonna do what it but I could probably try to direct it a little bit. Maybe I could keep it, you know, between the lines a tiny bit.
And you and you got all that from so I've I've made a promise to myself that I'm not gonna act surprised anymore when people say the podcast has helped them. Even though it is my initial. I'm starting to worry that it comes off as disingenuous. I really feel that way, but I feel like maybe people don't believe that anymore. So I don't wanna I don't know.
It's true. Trust me. I'm stunned that you're like, oh, that thing you made, it helped me a lot. But I I've heard it enough now that I I believe it. You know?
Oh, for sure. I we I mean, we did we got great education at the hospital. I think our team is wonderful. Our diabetes educator, you know, we were there for two days. We can reach out to them by MyChart.
We they like, they were we left as more prepared than I think I hear some people leave. Mhmm. Because we were there, like like I said, for two days. But I kinda felt like there was more. And, like, the podcast filled that for me.
You know, I'm a working mom. I work full time, you know, kid with diabetes, life in general, family. And I did buy a book, but I think I read, like, a chapter of it. I don't have time to, like, sit and read. And so it kinda really being the podcast format fit into our life.
And, yeah, I mean, I would say you were instrumental in us being where we are with our knowledge, with our a one c, with our comfort level. I mean, truly, like, we'd rather, you know, free to low than fight a high. We, you know, we tightened our ranges so that we're not, you know, a minor minor even tighter than hers. She lets hers go a little, like, wider just so she's not eating as much in school. Sure.
But if I see it, you know, I'll text her. We do the text diabetes. Mhmm. Pre bolting, they did mention that to us in the hospital. You know, you probably wanna give this to the insulin a little bit before you eat, and that was super scary.
Because at that point, you didn't really understand, like, it's okay to give yourself this medicine fifteen minutes before you eat. Like, it you're not gonna, like, crash. Yeah. You know, as long as the police are concerned, obviously. But, like, you would talk about it, and it started just to become more common.
Like, we just it just made sense to me. I don't know. Like, for me, I'm very math oriented. It just like, the numbers kinda just make sense. Like, I can kinda figure stuff out pretty easy with it.
I don't know. It's not easy. I don't wanna, you know No. I see that. Definitely hard days for sure.
And there's definitely times where she goes low, and you're like, why did that happen? Or high. You're like, that makes no sense. But, you know, we started, you know, working through fat and protein and extended boluses and those kinds of concepts. Like, they, you know, they can only have you for two days.
It's this is a long Sure. Thing to learn about.
Would you Yeah.
It would spend instrumental to it.
Yeah. Oh, I'm glad to know that. Thank you for sharing that with me. Would you say that's a thing that comes easily to you, or did I beat it into your head? Or what like, did you just need it to be said to you, or did you need it to be said to you a certain way?
That makes sense?
Yeah. I think I just needed data. Like, I just need info. I think, you know, the way you describe things. And and I think because you have so many episodes, hearing it multiple ways sometimes is helpful too.
Yeah.
You know, I I actually recently went back and relistened to the pro tips because the first time I listened to them, it was like scattered throughout random. Like, I really didn't know what I was like, I didn't have a plan.
Mhmm.
You know, now if somebody told me, I'd be, like, start with bold beginnings and that you know?
Yeah.
So when I went back and listened to them, I was like, okay. That makes sense. That's why, you know, it it kinda all, like, really clicked. But, yeah, I think it's just having multiple options. Like, sometimes I'm listening to you have conversations, and then sometimes I'm like, okay.
Well, let me go back and see if I can find more of, like, an educational piece or for having a particular difficult time with, like, a fat or a protein. You know? Then I'll go back and listen to one of those episodes or try to find more episodes, you know, specifically to what we're, like, dealing with at that point. Yeah. Am just having, like, an hour in the car.
It's just it's just, know, a good format
Yeah.
To to learn.
No. I I even though you don't have a ton of free time, like, what I feel like I'm hearing is that you prioritize trying to get more information, and you put some effort into categorizing it in your head, going back, making sure that you you hit the, you know, the tones that you needed to hit. And then it just turned into a 59681 z. Yeah. Yeah.
That's how I I imagine it works, actually. Yep. Oh, thank
Like you you say, timing and amount and
Yeah. And
then understanding, you know, those extra things like the extended boluses and, you know, and stuff like that. It's and the fats and the proteins. Like, are you know, I've I kinda call them, like, a little bit next level skills. Yeah. That they didn't because they don't you know, first day in the hospital, they're just trying to keep you alive.
They're caring that you're gonna you know, and you haven't met your MDI. So, like, those are concepts that you haven't even touched on at that point. Yeah. So, yeah, it was it's a huge problem. When I was I just printed a graph that will go on the endo after this and, you know, 93% range.
Mean, she's just she does so good with it. Like, I have to say that I as much as I've learned and told her, like, she's amazing to be 11 in being able to handle this. Like Mhmm. If she sees herself going high, she'll correct. You know, if she sees herself going low, she'll treat it with, like, one or two carbs.
And, you know, and there are times where she's busy, you know, so she's on the swings. All of sudden, she'll drop really quick, and the nurse will come out.
Sure.
But but she handles so much. Like, I'm fortunate too that she's as smart as she is and as conscientious as she is about it because it makes as parents, it makes it work better as well because she's not doing all these crazy things. She's not randomly eating. She waits fifteen minutes or more or what. You know?
No. Yeah. But she's she's good about it. Jen, again, what do you do for a living? What was your did you get a degree?
How are you educated?
I'm an architect.
Okay. So you visual and
Visual, math. Yeah. Numbers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you really took you really took to all this.
I did. And I'm surprised because I am not medical. I made myself give her a shot before we left the hospital because I was like, I have to I have to know how to do this. My husband is much more comfortable with anything medical. Like, if they if we're both home and one of the kids gets hurt, dad.
Okay.
I can't do I you know, I'll do it if I'm here. But if there's a choice between the two of us and there's something I won't let
them die. But, I mean, I'd prefer not to be involved.
Right. I'd prefer that dad handle it.
Dad's here. So, you know, interesting. He's the one, like, that came you know, we you're learning all that math with the correction factor in the hospital. And I think I was so overwhelmed at the beginning. Like, I had a harder time understanding, like, what was the math we were learning?
And he went home and, like, broke it down and then came back and explained it. Like, this is the correction factor portion of the equation, and this is and this and I was like, okay. That makes sense. And and so, like, we've kinda both been you know? And I'm the one that listens to the podcast and kinda regurgitate back to everybody Yeah.
You know, what what we're doing. But
Do you think he takes any of that from you and adapts it for himself?
For sure. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and and it's one of those where we're both home. If it's a sight change, it's gonna fall to him.
Right. He's just better at it. It's his he's more mechanically inclined. He's a more hands on kind of a guy, so that makes sense that that's in his wheelhouse. And if it's more like, okay.
What are we gonna do for an extend or a split or whatever? It's easier for me, so I'll kinda take that on. But if I'm not here, he'll he'll be doing it too.
What's what does he do for a living?
So he's he's a he's a contractor by trade, but he actually changed, and he's a vocational carpentry teacher about five years ago.
Okay.
So now he's a teacher, which actually works really good with summer schedules with a kid with diabetes.
Oh, and not only that, but he's good at at explaining something technical to somebody too.
Very good.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Hey.
Hey. How does it feel to hear your mom talking about this, and and how does it feel for you to to hear how much your parents care about you and how hard they're trying to to to be good parents for you?
Feels good.
Yeah. You you you know everybody loves you?
Yeah.
Yeah. That's a great feeling. Yeah. Very cool. I I'm I'm just gen like, I like I said, the person I spoke to the other day, she's no more or less intelligent than you, no more or less focused, no more or less desirous of a good outcome.
And I'm trying to figure out what the difference is between the two of you. And I think it's that you know that everything could be crazy and terrible, but you trust that the things you're doing are gonna stop that from happening. And she and I think she can't believe that it's not gonna go wrong. I really think that's the the slim difference between the two of these conversations.
It's interesting. I actually had a conversation last last night, the night before with my husband because he doesn't have social media. He doesn't like any of that. But I, you know, I follow a number of, you know, common t one d kids on on social media. And so I'll often tell him stuff, and there was one that had a very scary low.
And they were, like, ten years in. You know? And I said to him, I said, I want when we settle, you know, someday, I want you to read her the mom's, you know, description of it because I think sometimes we almost get too complacent. Like, we got this. I mean, Kaitlyn hasn't had any lows less than 55 in the last looking at her Dexter last four weeks.
So, like, we you know, it's almost like sometimes we have to remind ourselves, like, not to be so complacent.
Mhmm.
Like, we we do have to, you know, always stay on our toes.
It's like it's like a like a fender bender. Right? Like, you can drive for twenty years. You know exactly what you're doing, and then just one day, you're, like, back into a car in your driveway, and you're like, oh my god. Like, really?
Yeah. Yeah. No. And and you don't know when that's coming or if it's coming and how to plan for it if it does. So yeah.
No. No. I take your point.
For me, part of it too is is, like I said, I'm a planner. And so part of my comfort level is we always have everything we need at all times. Like, I have created quite stockpile of supplies. She always she carries a sling pack to school, and it's got her low treatment in it, like, different kinds of low treatments
Mhmm.
And a back semi. Her bag that we take whenever, like, I'm out and about with her has, you know, everything in it in the backseat. You know, I've packed the camper for the season with half of her supplies from home. You know? And so part of my comfort level too is knowing that, like, I have in, you know, sugar free Advil.
I have sugar free cough drops. I have what's the medicine that makes you not nauseous? Zofran. Zofran. Thanks.
I have Zofran, you know, stocked and ready. So I think for me too, like, that planning part of my life where that's kinda how I cope, but if I I have everything I need to be able to handle any situation
Mhmm.
That helps bring me comfort.
Yeah. No. That's awesome. I listen. I I know other people have that stuff, and they can't feel the comfort.
So
Yeah. And I I don't know what the what the difference is because, like Don't know me. I'm not a not anxious person.
Yeah. Really. It's not like I'm not anxious, Scott. Let me tell you.
Not like I'm yeah.
You know, I may not sleep a whole lot, but I'm good. Okay.
Do you do you not sleep at all?
You know, I'm well, I'm the one getting up in the night because I sleep a lot lighter than everybody else in the house. So if she does, you know, have a compression low or she does need something in the night, I'm the one up. But then, you know, fun perimenopause in the mix decided
Yeah.
It's hard. Really hard time of life.
Oh my god. Sometimes I wake up and I look at my wife. I'm like, alright. Have you ever been to sleep tonight? And she's like, I don't think so.
And I'm like, oh, okay. Good luck today. Yeah. This part's probably almost over. You know?
Probably not, but it's been years.
Probably not. Yeah. Keep telling myself it's probably almost over. Yeah. We're good.
You know, the other night it's usually the first night she has a Dexcom on. She only wears them on her arms. Mhmm. It's almost pretty common the first night depending on exactly where it is, but she'll have, like, one or two compression lows, and then they usually go away. The other night, she just that was the arm she wanted to sleep on, and I'd roll her back.
And then she would be, like, right like, she couldn't be more on that Dexcom. It was, like, five times in one night she had compression lows. So I'm still getting up. I'm rolling her over depending on you know, look at the graph. I'll kinda gauge, like, okay.
Do I wanna wait five minutes and see if we pop up? Do I wanna finger stick? And, you know, that that wakes you up for a little bit. You can't just go right to sleep after that.
I hear you. Arden, roll over. You're laying on your sensor. Arden, roll over. You're laying on your sensor.
Except Kaitlyn doesn't wake up, which is good. I mean, I can come in and I finger stick her. I give her juice. I roll her. She has no memory the next morning.
She doesn't and so on the bright side of her not wanting to wake up in the morning, she doesn't wake up at night either.
Mhmm.
So she, you know, she doesn't have to deal with, you know, any of that stuff yet. I'm not sure how we'll get there with because she's not a wake girl up.
Yeah. It comes eventually. I I I went in the other night, and Arden was literally cuddled up with a box of cookies. Like like, she she the the cookies were a little spoon. Arden was a big spoon, and she and she just and I was like, what is happening in here?
So because I asked her later. She was like, oh, she's like, I brought those up the other day, and they were still in my room, and I got low. And I was like, I had a cookie, and I was like, okay. Like, all good.
I fell asleep with them.
Yeah. But she just fell asleep with them on her bed.
Well,
it sounds like you guys are doing really well. The only
It Can Be Manageable1:02:36
question Well, I think that's one of the reasons I wanted to come on is, you know, it it's not that it's easy. Right?
No. No.
It's not that I don't wanna sound, you know, overconfident because, obviously, we have struggles. But it it can be manageable. We can do it. We you know, and we are doing it because, one, we have no other choice. But, yeah, I think we're doing okay with it.
And sometimes it's good to hear that part too. I know it's the negative stuff tends to get more clicks as you've been saying lately, but sometimes I I'm hopeful that hearing, you know, our story and 11 year old handling it so well Right. Can maybe give some others some hope or confidence.
No. I'm glad for you to do that. I really am. It's yeah. I mean, listen.
It's trite to say, but if you're paying attention to the Internet at all, obviously, like, you know, anger and and fighting and arguing, that stuff sells clicks better. I think it's just maybe human nature. And then you get the the feeling that everybody's struggling because that's all you see.
And Mhmm.
You know, then maybe you're struggling too. That's how it was served to you. And then you you get into this mindset that the whole world's a disaster and, you know, see, I I I can prove it. I clicked on a couple of things, and everybody else is mad too. But that's not the case.
Everybody's not feeling that way. I think just people are, you know, diabetes specific, just in different parts of their journey, and maybe they have different personalities. They handle things differently. But I think there's a path through this for most people. You know, I I don't know if everybody can get to it.
Like, some people's struggles are obviously significant and, you know, sometimes they're blocked by all different variables. It could be financial. It could be the devices. It could be bad doctors. It could be their inability to just believe that it's gonna be okay.
Like, you know, in a number of other things. But it still seems it still seems important to me for everyone to be to have access to stories like yours. You know?
Oh, good.
Yeah. Because hopefully, somebody will hear it and think, well, she's doing it. And, you know, it sounds like it's going well for her. You know, maybe I could maybe I could make an adjustment to how I'm thinking about this as well. And even, you know, Kate over there at her young age has has a great attitude about the whole thing.
You know? She's a it really not complaining. I mean, I'm sure like, Kate, if I asked you to complain about diabetes, what would you complain about?
How it hurts is, like, sometimes teachers are, like, put your phone away and, like, all the stuff that goes into it, like, 10,000 other decisions you have to make per day.
Mhmm. And and, Jen, do you think she's experiencing any kind of a honeymoon?
So I don't think so because we're so consistent. Like, those those rare outliers where she goes, like, low for no reason are are so rare that I'd feel like I'd see that more if we were still in honeymoon. Mhmm. Like, her insulin usage per day is pretty consistent if her carbs are consistent.
Okay.
So I don't know. I don't know how to tell that other than I think I would see more variables.
Yeah. I think people who are living through a honeymoon go, oh, no. No. It's there. I I see it.
So, yeah, I usually I take the it doesn't seem like it as a no. It's not here. Yeah. I would say this, you know, having a, you know, a kid with, like, you know, some some lady issues. Paid close attention to how the GLP is helping you so that you have context for it if she should run into similar problems.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because when I was dating Kelly and we were young, she's like, I take spironolactone because I have tough periods. And trust me, over the last thirty years, that that that cute little, oh, she takes a little pill because it has turned into, you know, I had to have a surgery to have a cyst removed from my, you know, my ovary and, like, you know, and my god, like, heavy periods, pain.
Probably Arden probably has something like PCOS or something like that. I wouldn't be surprised if my wife isn't struggling with something similar. You know, there's not a lot of medical help for it. So any data you can collect about yourself not only will help you, but I think might be valuable for her in the future. And then I would also say with the family involvement, like, don't stop looking at, you know, thyroid numbers, you know, as time goes on, just in case.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
I was actually the woman I would I'm working with, guess you call it, like, a concierge doctor
Mhmm.
Specialty. I you know, I was actually emailing her last night, like because we'd just done some more blood work. I don't know the result yet, but I was like, you know, just emailing back and forth. What you know, what do you let me know what you think and stuff like that. Just trying to be on on top of it because, you know, my my history health history isn't the best either.
Yeah.
You know? And and I gotta remember too. I mean, it's my aunt with diabetes, and, you know, PCOS is obviously related to, you know, insulin resistance or issues. And, you know, and then now with Kate, like, I gotta I tell myself occasionally, like, I'm not out of the woods just because I'm 49.
I was just saying I didn't bring that up, but, like, I wondered if you were thinking about that.
Oh, yeah. It's crossed my mind. And even my, you know, my son is 14. He's like, oh, you know, like, that, you know, sucks. And I'm like, hey.
Just so you know, like, we're not gonna have him tested because part of me, I don't like, if I knew it was for sure coming, not knowing when, like, that would not help my anxiety. Mhmm. Like, I'm just one day, he was like, oh, I'm really thirsty. I'm like, give me a finger. You know?
So I think we'll be on top of it.
If He's never asked for water again. Like,
let me
take your blood sugar, and it was fine. And he's you know? So I think I'll now knowing what I know, I'll be, you know, much more on top of it. I'd rather just do it that way than, no, it may or may not. Because I you know, he's obviously has a sibling.
You know, he's at a risk.
Yeah. Well, listen. Keep chugging along. The only thing I can tell you is that Arden was diagnosed when she was two. And when I'm done here with you, I've been tasked with going out and ordering a bouquet of flowers for her commencement tomorrow.
So
Oh, that's awesome.
Time goes by. You know? And and It
it does. It flies by. And you just
keep doing the thing. Is that crazy, Kate, to think you'll graduate from college one day? Yeah. Yeah. It seems like forever from now.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's not not as long as you think. By the way, people, Kate doesn't feel good. She got a little cold, so I wanna give her some credit for doing this while she's not feeling well. What do you think is going on here, Kate?
Head cold, sore throat? What do we got going on?
I don't know. It could be allergies, but I don't have really many allergies.
Oh, jeez. Are are you taking any medication? Has your blood sugar been different since you haven't been feeling right?
No. My blood sugar has actually been really good. Okay. I've only been using my inhaler, like, once every few days.
Okay. When Arden's like, certain kinds of colds balance Arden's blood sugar. Like, make them
They balance it out?
Yeah. Like, there's some illnesses when she gets them, that that her blood sugars are lower and more stable and and take less insulin. And then there's some illnesses where it takes more insulin. It's interesting how it kinda goes back and forth. So maybe you got one of those.
Yeah. She doesn't I haven't I noticed, like, the past I mean, she she had a cold, and then she I thought it was getting better, and then it's another cold. So I think it's two different colds.
In a row.
It could be the same one with a gap in between. But, you know, the last couple days, I was like, oh, is your insulin need a little less? But then all of a sudden, it'll be, you know, she'll be high. High. Well, high for us.
You know, she'll be at one eighty, 200, and I'll be
like, k.
Maybe I'm around. It's not less.
Wait till the lady time starts. That's a big party.
I yeah. I've already been prepping her for that. I'm like, we're gonna have some insulin changes when we when we get there.
That's okay. You got you guys will handle it.
We'll handle it.
And, I mean, I think part of, you know, being aware, like, you know, of what's going on and watching you know, I'm not watching all the time her numbers, but being aware of her numbers and how they're doing. I don't know. I make changes to her settings on my own, so we'll have a talk about that at the end of the day. Mhmm. Like, I I noticed that night, she was starting to go a little higher, eight, nine, 10:00 at night.
I'm like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna bump up her basal a little, you know, starting at, like, seven through, like, eleven because I think she's getting a little bit of growth hormone happening then. And so I did. So hopefully Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It used to work. You know, I don't know. You know, I don't think they're used to many people coming in with, you know, what I consider, you know, five, six a one c and making confidently adjustments. Like, I've, you know, I already started creating we're gonna be driving for three days this summer down to Florida. And so I've already started, like, kinda play around with what a travel profile will look like because her bail leads are gonna be crazy at that time.
She goes so high when we travel.
Yeah. It's the well, you know Like Why do you think that is, Kate? Do you know?
Just from sitting, all my fun can't move. Like, even when I get home and and sit on the couch, it, like, just I need to get up and, like, move my phone around.
Yeah. That's right. It's exactly right. The sitting still and probably snacking in the car is enough that your settings, the way they work for you in your day, are probably not enough. So, I mean, you know, you could try, like, a 20% increase in in basil and and maybe your carb ratio for the trip that might help.
And
That's exactly what I've changed.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you you should be good to go.
We did a couple hour ride, and she had bulls for 10 carbs. So was like that time of day, was like point eight units. And we got in the car, and her blood sugar went up. And she didn't even end up having her snack. She doesn't like to eat if she's, you know, over one fifty.
She likes it to be lower so she knows she's not gonna go over 200, you know, for that bump. And she's like, oh, I'll just wait because we're almost there. And and so then I'm like, okay. Well, if her this is how my brain works. You know?
I'm like, well, if her basal's point five an hour and she gave herself point eight and it was an hour and a half in the car, that was almost double basal for that ride, and it barely kept her where she was starting. Mhmm. Even pumped her a little bit. And I'm like, well, does that mean basal you know, should we be looking at we're gonna need a basal increase. I actually increased it from it was point six to, like, point nine for my travel profile.
So a lot more like 30%.
Yeah.
And, I don't I don't know. I mean, I'm just kinda playing around at
You'll figure. I mean, it's listen. You'll be in the car. You can you know, if it's too much, you'll you'll know pretty quickly. You can take care of it.
But I guarantee you well, I can't guarantee you, but I don't think it's gonna end up being too much. She's just
probably You know, if it is, I can give her a piece of candy. Sure. Yeah. And you guys wanna feed the insulin, but why not?
And she's pretty act she's pretty active during her regular week, it sounds like.
Yeah.
Yeah. Right, Kate? You have you're doing sports or other activities? You're playing on the playground, stuff like that?
I do a school program where, like, you go early. You have to go early in the morning and then stay late after school, and you just get to play on the playground for, like, hours. And then I come home, and I play outside with my brother. And I do horseback lessons. Yeah.
And sometimes I'll do lacrosse with my dad.
Mhmm. And
I do cheer, and my blood sugar usually stays pretty stable Yeah. And goes low. But I have I also play the saxophone, and I have a concert coming up, and I think I'm gonna go high for that.
Do you get nervous for those concerts?
Yes.
Yeah. And that's well, that's where that comes from then. And, I mean, yeah, you you hear the whole thing right here. Like, she's she's super active, so her settings are a little lower to combat her activity. The activity's helping with her insulin sensitivity, basically.
And when you sit still, it's not going to. What are you guys going to Florida for? Gonna see an alligator?
I don't know. Maybe. We're going we're we're going to Disney in June and July. Ironically, we're gonna be there as Friends for Life is starting, but we're leaving, like, a day later planned. You know, I didn't know Friends for Life was gonna be there that
day. And
I looked into it. I'm like, well, let's what if we just skip out on Disney for a day, and you and I go over to Friends for Life for a day on our last day. And, you know, I and but then I looked online, and you have to buy, like, the four like, the full ticket. Like, there's no day ticket.
Oh. And I
was like, ugh.
Can't do that. What is it? '8 Yeah. Ninth, tenth? Is that Friends for Life?
The like, end of the weekend there?
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And we we leave to drive home the morning of the tenth. So the ninth would have been, like, a great you know, I'm like, you know, we could Kate and I could have gone up because I wouldn't wanna make her brother do a diabetes thing on vacation.
Yeah. So they'd probably just go do something together, and I'd go over with her. But, like, well, we we'll just see people around. Like, I you know, we might see because we're gonna be on Disney property too. We might just run into more.
You might. I'll be there. I know I'm there. I'm only I'm not there the whole week, but I'm there a few days. So
Oh, we might run into you.
You're very welcome.
Maybe we'll have to go over to that hotel and just hang out in the lobby for a little bit, see if we say hi to anybody.
Please. Just text me or email me. I'll come out and say hi. I yeah. I think I'm at the I'm at the SugarPixel booth and doing some work with Omnipod and maybe Tandem too while I'm down there.
I think we're working that out now. So yeah. Cool. Alright. Well, listen.
You guys were terrific. I appreciate this. You probably have to get going to your appointment. I have to go buy flowers. I was just texted that Arden is graduating magna cum laude.
So it's very exciting.
That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations.
Thank you. She's a he's a smart one too. So it's fun having smart daughters.
It it really is. Yeah.
It makes
some things very easy.
Until they get older, and then it's really it's then she's gonna spend a lot of time telling you what you're what you're doing wrong, Jen, just so you know.
Oh, well, I
already get that a
little Yeah. Yeah. She's gonna she's gonna figure out everything you don't do right, and she'll explain it to you.
Okay.
So you're gonna have it's a nice moment when you test yourself for being quiet. Yeah. Anyway, Kate, I really appreciate you doing this. It sounds like you're doing terrific. I'm super happy for you.
I'm glad the podcast has been helpful for you. But it sounds like your mom and dad have been way more helpful. So I'm I'm thrilled that you have a good support system around you, people that love you, and it sounds like you're well on your way to having a great life. I'm super excited for you.
Finding Community1:18:06
Yeah. She's she's doing really good. I have to, you know, also thank, you know, some friends. I when when we got out of the hospital, the week went worse, believe it or not. Our other cat passed away the day after we came home from the hospital.
Oh. And then the day after that, Kaitlyn got a 105 fever, and we ended up back in the ER. So, like, that week was absolutely crazy. And I had a friend neighbor come over, you know, or text. She's like, I'm bringing you dinner.
What night do you want and which of these dinners do you want, which was, like, super helpful. Mhmm. And when she came over, we just sat on the porch talking for a little bit. And she was like, oh, do you know our other neighbor down the street? Her son has type one diabetes, and he's two years older than Kaitlyn.
Oh.
And she's like, I'm gonna connect you. And so she connected us with them, and that woman's been you know, she's
Very helpful, I imagine. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So helpful. They came over a couple weeks later. Kaitlyn got to see, you know, another kid with a pump. You know, they're two years older.
He's a boy. She's a girl. But at that point, he was still at their school. Mhmm. So the nurse was great with, you know, oh, this is how they do it and, you know, me talking to that mom.
So just, you know, having other resources around has been super helpful too.
Oh, yeah. For
sure. Know where I don't know where it's going with that.
But No. Well, you it's just important to have community around you wherever you can wherever you can make it, wherever you can find it. It's it's just Yeah. It's incredibly valuable. Yeah.
I'm glad for you.
For sure.
Yeah. That's why and thanks and thanks for sharing all that nice stuff with me. It just it was really nice to hear how the podcast has helped you, and I I appreciate you sharing it with other people as well.
Yeah. I know. I definitely I mean, I haven't run into too many other, you know, newly diagnosed, but when I when I do, I definitely share it. I definitely shared it back with RCDE and and the team.
Do they handle that well when they when you say, hey. I've I've figured this all out from a podcast?
Yeah. And they well, so the the endo seems to be, I think, a little bit more conservative. The CD who we had in the hospital that first day well, so Kaitlyn had a nurse who was a type one diabetic for the first day she was in the hospital. Mhmm. And our diabetes educator was a die is a diabetic.
So even right off the bat, having two people that have this thing that you now have who are successful in doing what they're doing was such a huge relief. But, you know, over times that we run into them, and they're just you know, especially the the CDE when we run into it, you know, appointments with the endo, you know, she'll be like, how are guys doing? We'll just kinda sit and talk, and I was telling her about how we're soaking our Dexcom. And she's like, can you email me everything that you're doing? And I was like, yeah.
No. You know? And I also emailed about the Juice Box podcast and super receptive
Okay.
To that. Because I think, you know, having people who, like, for you know, understand it. I don't wanna say understand it. I mean, we're still new. Mhmm.
But, you know, having that communication level and being like, this was great, like, without saying that they weren't. Like, this is just more. Like, we had a great start with them in the hospital. But it's only two days.
Right.
You just need more. And I think that they were open in the fact that there's more and that we're taking more and we're learning and that our a one c's I mean, they were they were, like, cheering with her that her a one c was so low, and they were super excited about that. And then they were talking pump site locations, and it was just kinda neat, like
Sweet.
To have that. Yeah. Yeah. We're really fortunate in that regard.
Yeah. No. It's fantastic. I actually just built a web page that's for doctors. It's just juiceboxpodcast.com/clinician-share">juiceboxpodcast.com/clinician- share.
And it's an it gives them the ability to, like, print, copy, text, or email the different series more easily. So Oh, wow.
That's great.
Yeah. For doctors who have been sharing it that way, they you know, the problem was they're like dragging lists off and pictures and sending people stuff. So try to make it a little little easier for them.
Then Do you find a lot of doctors are are open to that and open to sharing?
Yeah. A lot of them are. They, you know, I don't know how public they are about it that they share podcasts with people, but they do it. So it's nice. I'm I'm very happy that about the ones that do.
And hopefully, we can, you know, spread it out and show it to other people, and maybe they can find more people like you and and have more outcomes like the ones you guys are having. Yeah. Yeah.
Definitely. It'd be awesome. Alright.
I have to go. My dog, speaking of elderly pets, my my my oldest dog, Basil, he has a prostate problem, and apparently, the way you fix that is by taking their manhood from them. So he had that happen to him yesterday. He needs a pain pill in about twenty months. So I'm gonna go Oh, no.
I'm gonna go get my dog nice and loaded so he can lay around today and recover from his, well, you know, his unfortunate afternoon yesterday.
So Yeah. For sure.
Anyway, did we lose Kate, or is she still there?
I'm still here.
Okay. Kate, I really appreciate your time. Thank you so much for doing this with me. I hope you have a great day, and I hope the blood draw goes easy and you get great news at the endo, but I think you're going to. You're doing a fantastic job, kid.
Hey. Do you not take a good do you not take well when people say nice stuff to you? Is it hard to hear that you're doing a good job?
I don't know.
No? Okay. You go ahead and go. Do think? Go no.
Go ahead. Okay. Do you think you're doing a good job,
Kate? Yeah.
Yeah? Okay. Well, I'm proud of you, and I think your mom is too. So go be proud of yourself and have a great day. Okay?
Thanks.
You're very welcome. I'll talk to you later. And Jen, thank you so much. If we bump into each other in Orlando, that'd be fantastic.
The podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Mobi with Control IQ plus technology at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. There are links in the show notes and links at juiceboxpodcast.com. Today's episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g seven, and the Dexcom g seven warms up in just thirty minutes. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juicebox.
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#1903 The Secret I Kept
The Secret I Kept
Erin was diagnosed with type 1 at eight and spent years hiding it, tangled up with an eating disorder. Now in recovery, she talks about shame, secrecy, and finding her way back.
Jump to a moment




















- Recovery from a disordered relationship with food and insulin is possible — even after years. Erin describes her A1C today as the best it’s been since she was about ten, and says she’s in the best place she’s been in a very long time. Her point in coming on was simple: people can and do get better.
- Shame and secrecy did a lot of the damage. Erin kept her type 1 hidden for years and hid what she was struggling with on top of it — and she’s clear that the hiding, more than anything, is what she’d tell a younger version of herself to let go of sooner.
- What finally helped was a combination, not a single fix: growing up and taking ownership of her own care, a therapist who set firm, caring boundaries, ongoing therapy, and medication (Wellbutrin) that she says has been helpful. There was no magic moment — she wishes there were.
- Small goals beat all-or-nothing thinking. Her advice from the other side: trying something is better than trying nothing, and steadier blood sugars made a real difference in how she felt day to day and in her ability to keep going.
- Complications can show up even as things get better — and that isn’t a verdict on your worth or your effort. Erin is candid that she’s dealing with some, and frames it plainly: she’s “not a magic unicorn.” Getting screened, and staying honest with your care team, is part of the work.
- National Alliance for Eating Disorders — US helpline and free clinician referrals for all eating disorders
- NEDIC (Canada) — National Eating Disorder Information Centre; helpline and support for Erin’s home country
- We Are Diabetes — support specifically for type 1 and eating disorders (including insulin restriction)
- Mental Wellness Series (Erica Forsyth) — ongoing conversations about mental health and type 1 (verify slug)
- Juicebox Podcast Facebook Group — community around type 1 (verify URL)
- Juicebox Podcast — all series and free resources
Every word of the conversation
Meet Erin0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of the Juice Box podcast. Welcome. Have you tried the small sip series? They're curated takeaways from the Juice Box podcast, voted on by listeners as the most helpful insights for managing their diabetes. These bite sized pieces of wisdom cover essential topics like insulin timing, carb management, and balancing highs and lows, making it easier for you to incorporate real life strategies into your daily routine.
Dive deep, take a sip, and discover what our community finds most valuable on the journey to better diabetes management. For more information on small sips, go to juiceboxpodcast.com. Click on the word series in the menu. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin.
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Diagnosed at Eight, 20082:23
My name is Erin, and I've been type one diabetic since I was eight years old. So I was diagnosed back in 2008.
2008. What are you? '26?
'26. Yes.
Wow. That's great math on my part right there. I, failed algebra, but I was good with the pluses and the minuses, just so you know. You, started differently than almost everybody else.
Did I? I had no idea what to say.
No. It wasn't what you said. It was the tone you set it in. You were like, well, yeah. So I'm Aaron.
It was like it was like that. I I can't wait to find out what all that means. So tell me a little bit about yourself current day. You're working, in grad school. Like, what's your life like right now?
I'm actually just going back to school in this coming September. I had taken some time off while managing some diabetes related things, so I'm going back to a life sciences degree in September.
Okay. To finish up your undergrad? Yes. Undergrad. Interesting.
Okay. We're gonna find out about this. Your parents, they're married, divorced?
They are married. I live on my own, but I live very close to them, and I I see them a lot. I'm I have a good relationship with my family.
Nice. Brothers and sisters?
Yes. I have three older brothers.
Wow. That's a that's a thing. How about those TikTok videos where older brothers come in the room, like, they grab your hair, fart, and run out? Is that a thing that actually happens?
I'm I honestly, I've I'm not on TikTok, so I don't know what I haven't seen videos like that. But, no, my brothers are great. They're definitely on the protective side, like, a lot of people assume. But, yeah, I loved growing. I loved being the baby of the family, and they definitely spoil me.
So Nice. Anybody else in the family have type one or maybe other autoimmune issues?
No. I'm the only type one, and no autoimmune issues as far as I know.
How about for you? Do you have any others? No. Okay. Interesting enough.
You're diagnosed when you're eight?
Yes.
When you're eight years old, what do you remember happening?
So I remember I the thing that brought me to the doctors was my excessive thirst. I was drinking so much all the time, so thirsty. So my parents brought me to our family doctor who was actually away at the time, and it was a different doctor subbing in. And he didn't seem concerned, didn't wanna run any tests, said, you know, it's probably the change of season. Two months later, I was still at this point, you know, weight was an issue.
I was still drinking, still constantly going to the bathroom, everything. So my parents brought me back, and my regular family doctor immediately was like, well, we need blood work. So got the blood work. I was getting ready for school one morning, and the doctor called my mom and said her blood sugar is at 47. You need to bring her to the emergency room.
So, yeah, I remember going to the emergency room really confused because I didn't feel sick, and everyone, you know, kept telling me, oh, like, you must feel so you're gonna feel so much better soon. And in my head, I was like, I feel like I always feel. Mhmm. So, yeah, got thrown into all that at eights. Hey.
When your blood sugar was low
when they took it?
Oh, no. Sorry. So I'm in Canada. So Oh. '47
You didn't say that. You didn't say you lived in another planet. Now I understand. Yeah. Okay.
That's fine. Yeah. Okay. Because I was confused for a second. I was like, for because sometimes people do experience low blood sugars in the lead up to their diagnosis.
So I Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just wanted to be sure. Now I hear it. You said, oh, yeah.
And now I I don't know how I missed it to begin with. Sorry about that. Your oh, yeah gave you away. Okay. So 47, I guess, just for the people.
Wow. Hold on a second. That is a banger of a blood sugar. You were Yeah. You were up there.
Your a one c was probably crazy by the time they caught you. Yeah.
It was it was, like, 13 or somewhere around there.
Were you in DKA when they got into the hospital or no?
I was. Yes.
Yeah. But you said you've you felt fine, though, you said?
Well, I just I, like, I felt no different than I felt day to day, like, which in hindsight, I wasn't feeling great, but I was just Getting used to living like that.
So I'm sorry. I cut you off. But, yeah, you were getting used to feeling like that. Yeah. I see.
Okay. Well, do they do in Canada? I mean, immediately, I guess, they strap you to, like, three sled dogs and they take you take take you to the big hospital in the city. Right? Like, or what happens?
A Crash Course in Type 17:23
Yeah. So I was in the hospital for, I think, like, four days. My parents got, like, the crash course, all that. Got started on insulin. So back in 2008, so I there was no CGM.
Mhmm. So and I was on NPH and rapid acting insulin. And back then, one thing I really remember that sticks out in my childhood is not going by, like, dosing for what I was eating. It was like I had certain times of the day I would eat, and I had a certain amount of carbs I had to eat at that time
Mhmm.
And not go over that range, not go under that range because my insulin was, like, set doses. Like, I wasn't adjusting my insulin based on what I ate.
Shooting at a certain time, eating a certain amount of food?
Yeah. Okay.
And how long did you do it that way for?
Definitely at least a year. And then I think finally, we got introduced to the, like, insulin to carb ratios kind of idea, and then I eventually switched to, like, Lantus and still rapid Humalog or yeah.
How do your parents handle the the division of labor around diabetes? Is it like, don't worry. We take care of it, or did they do that? Like, it's her disease thing. She's gotta figure it out.
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Yeah. So I was definitely a very, like, independent child. Like, I liked to do things myself. So I was always very involved, but so were they. So even, you know, letting me I eventually started taking over calculating my doses and drawing it up in the syringe, and my mom would double check or we'd do the calculation together.
It was very much a team thing
Yeah.
Which was nice. I liked, you know, knowing what was going on. I liked feeling like I could calculate it myself.
Mhmm.
So, yeah, I I would say my mom definitely my dad was kind of in the background. My mom definitely took the the driver's seat there. But
So
Yeah. It was good.
Yeah. Did your was your mom, like, a work was she, like, a stay at home mom? Did she have a job? Do you remember any of that?
No. Both my parents worked. In the very beginning, they would drive home from work at lunch to give me insulin at lunch at school, because my school didn't have, like, a nurse or anything like that. So, it was really up to them to get there to give me insulin.
Yeah. Did you feel isolated? Did your were your friends reasonable about all this? Were you nervous or confused or embarrassed, anything like that growing up?
Yeah. So in the beginning, when I was first diagnosed, I I wouldn't say, like, I was excited, but I thought it was kind of cool. Like, I thought, like, oh, like, wow. Like, this is different. And I specifically remember telling one of my friends, like like, guess what?
Like, I was diagnosed with, like, diabetes. And at the time, that friend's response really shaped how I ended up feeling for the rest of my childhood because they they instantly said, oh, that's because you eat too much sugar. And all of a sudden, my full idea of it switched, and I felt so much shame around it. And from that point on, I kept it a huge secret. I did not tell anyone that didn't need to know.
I hid it from my classmates, from friends even as long as I could. It was just this big secret because I felt so much shame around it.
Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks. Do you think they was that a a malicious thing from that person, or you think it's just the thing they thought to say because it's the thing they heard?
Learning to Hide It13:22
I I think it's just what they heard. Like, it was we were young at the time. And I think, like, you know, hearing things about, like, type two or, you know, knowing different people with other types of diabetes and just the misconceptions.
Mhmm. You know? But it's you're saying it stuck to you, though, like, a long time or just in your adolescence?
For a long time. Like, up until I was probably, like, 18, 19.
Okay. Did you ever reexamine it? Like, did you ever stop and say to yourself, like, maybe they're wrong or, like, try to you know what I mean? Like, try to reframe it for yourself?
Yeah. I think definitely as I was a little bit older in my teenage years, you know, I I knew that, you know, I didn't cause this. This is people have misconceptions of how this happens or what it means, but I just felt ultimately that if people knew, they would have this idea of me or they would assume things. And I didn't really realize at that point that I could help educate. I could help, you know,
improve. I mean, nor could you have to if you don't if you're not interested in it. But so I okay. So initially, it's, oh gosh. What you know, I'm different.
I'm I can take care of myself. You're on not excited, like you said, but you you're up for the the the challenge of diabetes. This person says something to you about the sugar thing. At some point, you realize that's not even true, but the protectiveness comes from thinking, like, I don't need to go through this with every person I meet. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not looking to be the the encyclopedia diabetes and explaining everything to everybody.
Yeah.
Gotcha. Do you do the what would you do now in present day if somebody said that?
I think I would definitely just say, like, oh, it's an autoimmune disorder. Like, it I don't know why it happened. There's they don't really know why, or just something simple. Like, I wouldn't. Or I might not even say anything if it's someone I'm I know I'm never gonna see again or Mhmm.
You know?
It might just be like, listen. Yeah. I gotta go. I I can't I can't spend a lot of time here with you today explain explaining this whole thing to me. I gotta go play hockey.
Right? Okie? Yeah. Yeah. Or something.
Whatever you guys do. What whereabouts in Canada are you?
Ontario. Okay.
I don't know what that means, but I appreciate you telling me. Is that, like, in the middle?
It's I live in Southern Ontario, so near Toronto, if you know where Toronto is.
Yeah. Sure. Like like, North Of New York ish. Like, that way.
Yeah.
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Ontario's I I'm feeling a lot of pressure in my mind from the people I know from Canada who are gonna be really disappointed that when you said Ontario, I was like, I don't know where that is.
But okay. So I gotta I don't wanna fast forward too much, but it sounds like you went away to school and something happened. I'm gonna get to that. But first, I wanna understand what it was you know, once you were counting carbs and managing, I imagine you switched to a pump at some point. At some point, you got a CGM.
What what have your outcomes been like throughout this time with diabetes? And, you know, were you having other health issues or other concerns? Anything struggles that were piling on top of the, you know, the base struggle of the diabetes?
So, yeah, I'll start with I did not want a pump as a child. I actually just started on a pump two years ago, so when I was 24. And the reason for that was also just I didn't want anybody to see that I had diabetes. I really didn't want to draw any attention to it. I didn't want to be connected to something.
So, yeah, my parents always wished I would've, you know, been open to the pump, but they didn't force me, which I do appreciate. They didn't force me. And so I eventually decided I wanted to try that on my own. In terms of other things going on and that I struggled with, I would say a lot of mental health issues, the main one being an eating disorder.
Okay. Is so first question would be, do you think you had mental health issues prior to the diabetes, or do you like, when did you notice them first, and and how did it appear? It was my first question.
An Anxious Kid Who Danced17:46
I mean, I was an anxious kid, not like you know, I was, yeah, I was an anxious kid, but really, it was I think it didn't even it was more like body image. I grew up as a competitive dancer as well. Mhmm. And my studio was great. There was no pressure to look a certain way or anything like that.
But you just you spend a lot of time in front of mirrors, and I definitely developed some, like, body image concerns at the time. And that kinda led to a few different things happening, like restricting my food. And then, eventually, I would sneak food and not take insulin for it, not even knowing what like, there was no reason for not taking insulin for it except for being ashamed that I that I ate, like Yeah. An extra amount of food or whatever. And then it was really just through that process that I then discovered, the weight loss that can happen if you're not taking insulin.
And then did you start manipulating your insulin then for weight reasons?
Yes.
Yeah. How about how, old? About what age did that start?
About 15.
Okay. Can I ask you a a backward looking question? Would 26 year old you have told 15 year old you that you you needed to lose weight, or is that just the thing that was in her head?
Oh, that was definitely just the thing that was, yeah, in my head. I was very I would say average. Mhmm. You know?
Can I ask you, like, when you're obviously, I don't have any context being a girl? But when you're in that situation, what is it? Is it is it is it just the way you see yourself, or is it the the contrast between you and the person next to you? Like, what do you think leads the I mean, for you at least? What led to the feeling of, like, the way I am isn't the right way?
Feeling Different19:41
I think definitely comparison played a large part in it. Just comparing myself to people who were smaller, and just feeling like I looked worse or I looked wrong and that I could look better.
Yeah. Compared to like, looked worse or wrong compared to what?
Just compared to some of my peers that were just naturally more lean. And
Mhmm.
Honestly, not even just weight wise, but, like, especially in dance, like, with, like, longer legs and that were taller. I just felt like they looked so much better dancing, and that's not even something I could change. You know? I can't change the length of my legs or whatever.
Yeah.
But the one thing I felt like maybe I could change was to lose a little bit of weight.
Did you feel like you enjoyed dance, or was it torturous?
Oh, no. I loved it.
Okay. So you loved it. It's this aspect of it that brings out this other part of of your thinking?
Yeah.
Okay. When does it become a thing that you're not I I don't know if this is the wrong word. You'll stop me around. But when does it when does it become a thing that you're not in control of anymore? When are you making decisions that are just, like feel like they're autopilot decisions?
Probably, like, pretty quickly. Like, once I especially with the manipulating insulin, once I started doing that, it really spun out of control pretty quickly. And I, for many years, felt like I was so stuck.
And interested in a pattern of I'll keep my I'll keep my insulin low to keep my weight down. And then were you still restricting food at the same time?
I was. I was restricting, but I was also binging and purging. It was really chaotic in terms of food. Mhmm.
How do you figure out how to purge?
I don't actually I've been reflecting on that because I thought that might come up. I I don't know how I how I figured it out. I don't know if I watched some like, I can't imagine I watched something. I mean, I did it for the first time at 13. Social media was only just kind of starting to be a thing.
Yeah. I I don't know. I just I had this idea in my head, and I
Like, I'll get the I'll get the food out.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, we could you know what I'm say I mean, obviously, you know what I'm saying because you've been thinking about it. But, I mean, there's one thing to think I wish I weighed less or I wish I looked differently. It's another thing to, like, jump to, oh, you know what I should do? I could just make myself throw up, and then the food wouldn't be in there anymore.
Like, that's a elite. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's and but you don't know where the where the onus came for it.
No. I I really don't.
It's interesting. I wonder if it's just colloquial, like, background noise in the world. Like, you know what I mean? Like, something people say offhandedly, jokingly, or whatever, and it's a thing you hear at some point that you go, oh, maybe that is the way to handle this. Did you ever consider going to your parents at that point?
Reaching Out for Help22:57
I how my parents got involved was I actually initially went to one of my dance teachers because I was just so miserable, and I didn't have, like, the energy to dance. It's not like it was helping my self esteem or my body image issues either. So I kind of confided in her, and she encouraged me to let my parents know what was going on, and she helped me do that. So from there, I let my parents know what was going on. We then, they brought it to my endocrinologist, who then referred me to a eating disorder clinic.
And was that inpatient or outpatient?
I started off outpatient. I was inpatient a few times, would kinda go in, stabilize things, would come out, things would fall apart again. And then eventually, I did I was a they have a day program, so I would go to hospital Monday to Friday every day. And that, you know, helped me get into a good routine.
Yeah. Isn't it isn't it interesting that you can feel shame for a body image reason? And then the step you take to try to impact it, you feel shame for that as well.
Oh, yeah.
But you don't feel good about the body image. You didn't go like, oh, well, at least I traded the shame over here for you know, I feel good on this side now. So you felt like, no matter what you did, I'm imagining, but I'm gonna ask you. Did you ever end up feeling good about your body?
I think I I would say I didn't really. Yeah. Because even when I was a smaller size, I still either the panic was, well, how do I stay this size? Or it was, you know, it's still not good enough. So that feeling of, like, relief never really came.
I never really felt like, okay. Like, I'm good now here or, you know, anything like that.
Oh, that's a shame. And then you said you were in and out a lot of treatment. So it was so is it ultimately not I mean, I don't know what the the the question here is. It's like, is it ultimately not helpful or it's just not completely helpful? Like, why you know, what's the stop and go?
Is it more about the therapy that you need to do around it to make the, you know, make the the push go away to feel the to feel it? I don't understand any of this. So I'm gonna need you to explain it to me. Like, what's the process that gets you to where well, I guess maybe let's do this. I'm sorry.
I'm all over the place now. Where are you where are you right now?
Where She Is Now25:39
I'm in a good place now. I'm I'm doing the best I have in a very long time. Like I said, I'm on a pump now. I'm on
the
tandem, and my a one c is the lowest it's been since I was probably, like, 10 years old.
That's awesome.
I still have goals to get it lower. I'm I'm sitting at around, like, seven or, high sixes, and Mhmm. I'd like to get it lower than that even. But, yeah, I'm I'm in a very good place.
And how about with your relationship with food? Where is that at?
It's pretty it's stable. I you know, I'm I eat very similarly every day, but I can I do allow myself to have treats and not, you know, dwell on it or feel that I need to do something about it? Yeah. I feel like I'm in I'm in a good place.
That's awesome. Now what got you to that place? Like, what what are the steps that really were valuable for you?
I think for me, one big thing, which is really unfortunate, and I wish there was something that had helped sooner, but reaching, like, a rock bottom for me really gave me the push I needed to change things. Especially just realizing, like, in my early twenties, like, how much I was missing out on. Like, I missed my whole grade 12 year. I had to cancel trips. I was taken out of dance.
I, you know, had to drop out of university. Like, everything was just going wrong. I was doing nothing. I lost friendships. And it really just took me realizing that I needed I needed to be the one to change.
Because, you know, when you're a kid, it's a lot of times your parents or your doctors are forcing you into treatment. And sometimes it feels like you're working against them. But then, you know, once I turned 18 and was transitioned into, like, the adult care system, I really realized that, no. I need to take ownership, and I need to be the one ultimately that's gonna make the decision to change.
Start caring about yourself the way your parents care about you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Does that come with maturity or time? And I I think those are two different things. Like, did you have to have enough poor experiences, you know you know, like missing out on school or friendships or everything that it finally kinda piled up on itself, and and you said to yourself, well, that's enough. I don't wanna do this anymore, do you think that you just got more mature and you were able to just see the situation differently?
I think it's probably a combination of both. I mean, I think maturity definitely played a part in it because, you know, when I was 15, 16, 17, even 18, I really had that mindset of, like, you know, everyone's telling me about all the complications that can happen and how dangerous it is to be in DKA, and I just kept thinking, like, oh, like, it it's not gonna happen to me. Like, you know, I'm it's not gonna happen. And then eventually, you know, like, I have neuropathy that's pretty bad, and, you know, I have retinopathy starting in my eyes and kind of just, like, being mature enough to realize, like, no. I'm not a magic unicorn.
Like, these things do happen, and I'm not, like you know? Yeah. They're gonna happen to me too.
Yeah. There's nothing so special about you that the bad stuff couldn't come for you too. Yeah. Yeah. What what were your outcomes like in the beginning that have led to these sorts of issues at a younger age?
The Hardest Years29:24
I my a one c was, for a long time, consistently around, like, 13, 14. There were some years of my life. I was in DKA, like, every two weeks, like, going to the emergency room. Just really, like, my my blood sugars were just so high all the time.
And this was because you were trying to keep your weight down?
Yes.
Okay. Just be yeah. K. Functionally, I'm sorry. This is not a how to for anybody, but are you doing basal insulin but not covering meals?
Like, how do you how do you do it without always being in DKA?
I would my basal insulin was definitely reduced from what it should have been. And then, yeah, I would avoid taking any insulin for food or meals as long as I could. Sometimes, you know, when the symptoms would start to set in of DKA, I'd take some insulin to try and I'd monitor my ketones to try and get my ketones lower. It just yeah. Ultimately, I I always ended up in DKA even though I would tell myself, okay.
This time, I'll I'll do it, but not so extreme that I'll end up in DKA. Like but it never works that way.
Just yeah. Describe that that time in your life. I wanna understand if you thought you were, like, a mad scientist who was, like, just killing it, or were you out of not really the one in control? Like, you know what I mean? Like, were you pulling levers being like, I'm just gonna do this because I know it works out so well, or were you just, like did did the I don't know how to put it, I guess, but did the eating disorder have such control over you that you just weren't making decisions?
I think yes. I think I was not really making, like, in control of my decisions. I think the eating disorder was driving all those decisions. Especially, you know, when you have high blood sugars so consistently, your your state of mind is not always the most logical anyway. And so, yeah, I was I felt out control.
I would try and take a little bit of insulin, and then I would I could swear that I could tell I gained weight just from, you know
From a bolus.
Injection.
Yeah. Was your weight at that point?
At that point, it was pretty low. It was it was under a hundred pounds.
How tall are you?
I'm five four.
Okay. And then where where do you think your body's supposed to kinda sit weight wise?
I would say, like, my probably most natural, like, where I should be is probably around, like, one thirty, one twenty five, somewhere around there.
So is there an argument to be made that you were thirty to forty pounds underweight?
Yeah.
Wow. Did you do have you seen photos of yourself?
Yes.
Are they disturbing to you today?
Yeah. And I don't have many photos of myself at that time, because, yeah, I just I didn't look good. My parents hate seeing photos of that time period. It's yeah. Looking back now, I I I don't know what I thought or what I saw myself.
So let's dig into that for a second without like, I'm not trying to shit on your parents or anything like that. But you've got a one c's in the in the teens, mid teens almost. Mhmm. Do we all understand what that means for your long term health? I know you did, but do they?
Yes. They they definitely did. And my parents at the time I mean, I feel very guilty for what I put them through. My mom was reaching out to, like, anyone and everyone she could because even the treatment places I did go to, they didn't really know how to treat the diabetes along with the eating disorder. They tried a lot of different approaches.
And so, yeah, my parents were very aware of the danger I was putting myself in, and they were so desperate for me to change things. They would try and monitor, you know, through my CGM and things like that. But I at that point, I figured out a way to, like, pack into the Dexcom and make my numbers show lower than it was.
Really? What are you, like, a what are you, like, a little, like, evil genius? What's going on over there, Erin?
The old the old version. I think it was the g five I was able to do that. I I don't think I could do it now.
My gosh. So much effort to because you but it's a it's I mean, mental illness. Right? Is that how
you would
describe it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Were you depressed?
Secrecy and Depression34:10
Oh, yes. I was very depressed.
And so my point is that your parents were trying, but it wasn't obviously, something wasn't happening. So Yeah. Is there hindsight that tells you what they could have been doing? Is there anything that, like, 26 year old you realizes would have been valuable, or is that not even the case?
I think what I've realized is really just I kept things so secret, and I was hiding so much and lying so much.
Yeah. But, Erin, you can't lie ninety pounds five four. That's a Well You know what I mean? Like, you can't lie your way around that. Right?
Did you wear big baggy clothes so they couldn't tell?
I mean, I did do that. But, no, they knew they could tell. Yeah. Yeah. They could tell.
I think, really, the only thing like, I don't know what else they could have done. I think the only thing they could have done was maybe trying to communicate more with me in a way where I didn't feel like I was getting in trouble for having for doing what I was doing. And I think a lot of times, like, some of their concern came across as anger just due to their own, like, worry and fears.
Let me tell you something right now. I've I I have, I've been raising kids a lot of my life, and I'm a fairly reasonable person, I think. And what I'll tell you here, I'm this is for everybody listening. Don't don't have kids. Okay.
Because there's no way to accomplish what you just said. Like like, no your parents could have been mister and missus Rogers. Do you know what I mean? And, like, they could have been like, hello, Erin. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Look at my skirt. Do you love my sweater? We love each other. I'm worried about your weight. You would have been like, why are you so accusatory?
And, like, like, it's I got kids. I don't I I was a kid. I don't know what it is about human beings, but that's how this works. And and there's something terrible about the way we're wired when we're younger that we're just always trying to be adults on our own, independent. I don't need your help.
Like, there's that whole feeling. Right? It just it it it motivates people. I think all humans. I think the the bigger problem becomes when you layer something like this over top of it.
Right? Even if you didn't have an eating disorder, even if it would have been diabetes on top of it. Right? I don't need your help with this. I can take care of it myself.
Well, your a one c is 13. I can do it. Like, I'm handling it. But listen. My daughter's a one c is in the sixes.
She's doing fantastic. But when she has an issue and I tried to point it out, she goes, I'm taking care of it. And I'm I'll look and I'll be like, it doesn't feel like you are. Like but but what she means is is I'm aware of it, and I am putting the effort into it that I wanna put into it. And the desire that you have for an outcome is not might not match up with, I don't know, like, my my list of priorities.
Right?
Right.
So I'm not unaware of it. I am working on it, but I'm also more worried about this. I'll get to it. And if I don't get to it, then we somehow ignore the health part of it.
Yeah.
Right? Because if it was other stuff, it was cleaning your room, then you could tell me, hey. Well, listen. I'm not prioritizing cleaning my room the same way you are. I'm busy at school or with my friends or something else.
I'll get to it. And if you don't get to it, all you have is a dirty room.
Yeah.
You know? When it's diabetes, all you have is neuropathy. And Yeah. When it's over. And then it gets to the part where you're at now, right, where it's well, I mean, what would you give me if I could take you back and with the knowledge you have now.
So when your parents said you, hey. Can you just, like, give yourself the right amount of insulin? Right? Because you I mean, the person you are now would be like, right on. Let's do it.
Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
Yeah. And so you had to kinda, like, what, experience it and grow out of it? Is that the way you would characterize the whole thing?
Yeah. I think I think, yeah, growing out of it, which is really, though, like, I wish there was a way I wish there was an answer for no. Like, there's a way to change it while like, without having to go through all that. And therapy definitely helped me. I I I've done a lot of therapy, and I've worked with some great therapists.
And
Right. Oh, I I you know what? I've I've done a disservice there. I didn't even layer on the depression and the mental health stuff. Like, I mean, it's just it's all that stuff together like a big sandwich of, like, you know, blurred confusion.
And Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So you go to a therapist. How does the therapist get you through it? Is it a process that when you look back on, you can see how she he or she, like, deconstructed you and helped you understand it?
A Therapist Who Held the Line38:55
Yeah. I the therapist I was working with had a lot of, I don't know, for lack of a better word, like, rules. Like, if my blood sugars were very high, then she wouldn't see me for the session. And I really liked working with her, so I started changing things so that I could have my sessions with her, and that really helped me a lot.
She guilted you into it? You have, a, like, a Jewish Catholic therapist? What was going on there? Like, they're you know?
Well, basically, her point was that, like, it wouldn't be ethical for her to know the risk I'm putting myself in and continue seeing me.
But you look back on that. That's bullshit. She was manipulating him to take care of yourself. And good for her. Good for her.
Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. How old were you then?
Like, 18, 19.
Yeah. I probably would've just offered you money. I would've been like, look. Show up with a good blood sugar. I'll give you I'll give you 20% of what I'm making today.
And then oh, wow. So she so you wanted so you wanted to see her because you enjoyed seeing her, because you thought it was valuable, you knew you needed to be saved, and you thought this was the pathway through? Like, why'd you why'd you capitulate and do it?
I did really just enjoy seeing her and having a place to talk openly about how I was feeling about various different areas in my life. It just it felt like a really safe space, and I really enjoyed having that space. So I didn't want to lose it because prior to her, I had gone through about four or five therapists that all met me and then said, sorry. You're too complex. Like, I can't treat you.
That's code for I'm not very good at this, so I won't be able to help. Also, you're interested in this, so I don't know. Whether you're meeting with a polar bear, probably. Right? Like, there's I mean, there's you know?
Yeah. So
What stopped you from doing the other stuff? Like, I'm not hearing drinking drugs. Was any of that going on?
I nothing major. I experimented with things, but, ultimately, no. I just you know what? Being running your blood sugars high all the time does kinda have this numbing effect, And that was god.
I didn't need drugs. I couldn't feel anything anyway. It was all fun. Yeah.
That was you know, that was kind of my coping mechanism.
Right. Right. That's your some of your some of your self soothing came from that.
Yes.
You said you said you were always an anxious kid. You sure you don't have any thyroid issues?
Not no. Not that I know of.
Okay. But but anxiety runs in the family?
It does. Yes.
Yeah. Both sides? Dad's side, mom?
I'd say mostly my mom's side.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. I see. What else am I you know, I don't usually do this this early, but what am I not asking you up until now that I should have?
Like, what are you thinking to yourself? Like, dummy. Ask me this. Or not or have we not gotten to that point yet? Am I missing anything?
Because I don't under you understand. Like, I've I've never been depressed that I'm aware of. I haven't had anything stored or I've never had type one diabetes. I wanna make sure I'm not missing any, like, important pieces while we're talking about this.
I don't think so.
Oh, I heard you say I'm doing a good job. Thank you, Erin. This was not just for me to feel better about what I was doing. I actually wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Okay.
So this is all happening. Are you dating through that? No. No. Because you wouldn't have had you had no body image?
Like, you didn't think anybody would be interested?
Yeah. A combination of things. Didn't think anyone would be interested. I honestly wasn't really interested. Just I wasn't in school.
I wasn't really anywhere to meet anyone.
Oh, this treatment had you out of school for long chunks of time.
Yeah. Oh,
I see. Okay. You make friends in therapy?
Yes.
Okay. Are you still friends with them now, or were they, like, were they just a very important, like, teddy bear during that time?
I have some that I am still friends with to this day.
Yeah. Did everybody make it through, or do you are you being supportive of people who haven't figured the whole thing out yet?
Some people definitely still struggle, but I'm still I'm still there for them. They're still there for me in the best way they can.
What, what how would you characterize your life so far? Like, if you had to write a bio about Aaron, like, up until now, like, what would you say?
I would say gosh. I don't know. Just a lot of regrets, a lot of shame, and, like, hiding things that if I was just open about sooner, I feel like could have resolved a lot sooner.
Is it possible for you to do that for me without being yourself? Can you describe yourself like it's not you?
What do you mean?
Could could you step out of your life for a second and look at that eight year old girl and say and tell me the story about her?
Yeah. She she had poor self esteem, and she thought that everyone was judging her. And she just wanted to be accepted and understood.
Think everybody feels that way?
I do. Yeah.
Yeah. Me too. Do you have any idea why it hit you harder than it hits everybody else?
I don't know. I I just I took things to an extreme when I I just I shouldn't have.
Yeah. And and there's no, like I mean, do you think it's chemical? Like, are you do you take medication now for anything?
Medication That Helped45:08
I do take medication. Yeah.
What are you doing? Little Lexapro or something like that?
Wellbutrin.
Wellbutrin? I've heard good things.
Yeah. Yeah. It's been helpful.
Good. Good. That's awesome. Now when you kinda come out this other side and blossom, because that's how I'm gonna see you now, I'm imagining you're the person you were meant to be. You're dealing with health issues, but you're probably also trying to make up for time in the social world and in your education and everything.
Like, are you able to, like, meet that with a positive attitude?
Oh, yeah. For sure. I mean, I I still, like, have a lot of regret. You know, I feel I feel behind a lot of people my age just because I'm just getting back into my undergrad. And, socially, I feel like I'm not where I imagined I'd be at this age.
I'm just kind of rebuilding relationships now and reconnecting with myself and figuring out what I even enjoy.
Wouldn't rush if I was you. I would just I would just do it as if you didn't lose any time.
That's what everyone says.
Yeah. Is that impossible to do? Or I mean, are you reminded all that like, look. As I'm saying that to you, I'm 54. I ran around all weekend going, I'm almost dead.
It's almost over. Like, so fuck. I'm Martin's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, how much longer do you think I could possibly live? Like, maybe I got twenty good years.
And, you you know, and then I was like, Ben, there'll be some at the end, but they're not gonna be fun. I'm pretty certain. And Right. We need to do it now. Like, so I I don't it's funny.
Like, you know, life's finite, and it does make you feel like things are getting by and that things aren't happening quickly enough. But it also seems to me that for you, like, a lot to do with the your stability and mental health would be also to do with not having that feeling. Like, just saying, like, look. I hit a speed bump. I'm on the other side of it now.
I'm just gonna I'm just gonna get back in the race and keep going and not think of it as a race. I'm just gonna try I'm here to finish, not to beat anybody.
Yeah. Yeah. I that's really what I I try to remind myself. I think it just you know, especially being an anxious person, I'm like, I don't have my life figured out yet. Like
No. I'm sorry. Anxiety sucks. I mean, of all the things that I talked to people about over the years, it's really high up on my magic wand list. Like, do you know what I mean?
Like, if I could just make something go away for people, I think anxiety would really change people's lives in more ways
Oh, yeah.
Than we can kinda count. I love when you o yam me like you're Canadian. Thank you. Don't don't forget not to do that a couple more times. That was awesome.
Yeah. I mean, do you ever look at people who aren't anxious and think to yourself, like, how are they doing that?
Well, yeah. I almost feel like, is it even is that even true? Like, is there even anyone who's not anxious? It's hard to believe. Like, maybe some people are just better at hiding it.
I don't know.
Erin, I unless it's about, like, some, like, dire thing with my family, I don't ever feel anxiety.
Really?
Yeah. I I you know what? I had to do I had to. That's not the right way to say this because that's not what I mean. I gave a talk on Long Island out in New York last week.
It was Mhmm. Wednesday. Okay? And it was like oh god. It was three hours of driving to get there.
I was there for a couple of hours doing the thing, the meeting and the greeting and the talking and all that stuff, then about three hours to get home. So I left my house Wednesday. I wanna say 01:00 in the afternoon. I got home around nine. I woke up the next day.
I wanted to be out the door by six, but I'm a little old, I had to keep sleeping. I left at 08:30, and I drove to Tennessee. I'm in New Jersey. So that was about it doesn't even matter about what I got into the hotel room. I left at 08:30 in the morning.
I think it was in the hotel room at 1AM. And then I got up in the morning at seven. I went out and looked at houses with a realtor who I'd only ever met face to face one time. And I looked at a few houses and properties in Tennessee. I spent the day doing that.
Then I drove to Atlanta, got to my hotel, grabbed something to eat, woke up in the morning, did another event for Touched by Type one. I was there for six hours at that event. And then at 03:00 in the afternoon, I was like, I guess I'm just gonna drive home now. Wow. So I started driving home, and then around 10:30 at night, I started getting tired.
So I called my wife, and I was like, I think I gotta stop and get a hotel. I don't think I'm like, I think I've made it about as far as I'm gonna make it tonight. You know? And and she's like, oh, I'll help you find one. And she's like, oh, I got one here for you.
And rooms were sparse. They were a lot of places were sold out. Apparently, was wedding season, I learned later. So, like Oh. Some of the places, like, they're they had rooms up there, like, $900 a night.
I'm like, I will just sleep in the car. I'm not you know what I mean? But my wife's like, no. No. I found one, but it's two hours north of you.
And I was like, okay. And then I just kept driving till I got there. Then I went in. I used the bathroom, went to sleep, got up, took a shower, got back in my car, drove six, seven hours till I was home. I was never anxious during any of that.
I didn't even have a plan for most of that. Wow. Like, that I the plan I had was I was meeting I was meeting a realtor, and I I've never I've only ever been to Tennessee once in my life, and I think I was 10. I just had it in my head that I might like to move to Tennessee, and I thought I would check it out. And since I was going to Atlanta instead of flying, I thought, well, I'll just drive and then check out Tennessee.
When I got home and started talking to people about what I found and what I was thinking, I realized that even just the conversation about moving, even though it was a pretend conversation, made some of the people in my house nervous. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just like and they're like, well, what what would we do? And I was like, oh, we just sell our house.
We just go.
Just like that.
Yeah. And they they were like and they were like, well, what? And I was like, no. Like, I said, I see there's problems. Like, Arden seems to really like her boyfriend.
And, you know, like, my son dates people and, like but I was like, I don't know. Like, we're just working out. So I could think. And I was like, it's like a two hour plane ride to get back here. It's not even bad.
I looked into it. Was like, a one way ticket was, a $110. I was like, that's not even a problem. I was like, we could, like, have this look how nice this house is. And I'm like, I don't think by the way, and I don't imagine this is gonna happen.
But it's a thing I thought about long enough that I felt like I deserved to make see if that was just a thing I was thinking or if it was like a reality. But I don't feel any pressure to make it a real even with me. I mean, you know, as you can imagine, the the real estate person who I was very clear with, and I said, look. I have no idea if I'm doing this or not. I'm like, just you know, if you can give me a few hours to show me around, that would be fantastic.
And but I can't promise you anything. Right? And and then later, like, you kinda get done. You realize, like, it's her business. And she's like, so what do you think?
And she's not pressuring me, but she's she's saying, like, make an offer on this house.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I'm like, no. I don't think so. But thanks. I really do appreciate your time. You you know, like also, I wanna just say this is gonna freak people out, but my real estate agent in Tennessee was former American Idol contestant, Ashley Amber, in case anybody knows who she is.
She's awesome, by the way. Really, really fantastic. I met her on the Juice Cruise last year because she was performing on the cruise. Oh. We bumped into each other.
She told me she's getting out of the performing thing, and she's gonna go home and do some real estate work. And I said, where? And she said, Tennessee. And I said, oh, I was thinking about maybe looking there. And she's like, really?
I'm like, yeah. We talked on the, like, text for, like, six months, and then I just showed up there and looked at houses. I have no anxiety about anything.
Wow.
It's unfair. I have anxious people in my life, and I wish I could just put it all up and give everybody a little bit of it. Because the same way you look at me and think, like, that can't be true, I look at you and I think, god, that can't be true. Like, how is it possible she feels like that all the time? It's it's so unfair.
Really, really. Just I mean, it's your thing to do. You know what I mean? I have other stuff, by the way, that sucks about my life that I gotta Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah. Yeah. But it really is just that I'm gonna forever be interested and and baffled by the whole idea. You know? Anyway, that was a lot of talking.
I apologize. Gave you a nice break, though. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. What are you not telling me about that I need to know about? What if people who find themselves in the position you were in before, do you have any homespun wisdom about things that they could, look at to see if they can't get themselves out of their situation or get through it more quickly?
Small Goals, One at a Time54:24
I would say one thing that helped me is really also just setting small goals because, you know, it's easy when you're in that place of struggle to know, oh my god. Like, my a one c's at 13, and it needs to be at, like, five or six. Like, that feels impossible. Mhmm. So one thing that really helped me was just setting small goals.
Like, you know, first, I'm just gonna get into the routine of taking insulin every time I eat. And, you know, then I can fine tune things, and then I can, you know, adjust things even more. And just setting those small goals that feel so much more achievable, and then when you do achieve them, you feel more capable of doing more is really helpful. Because for a long time, I got stuck, like, goals felt too big, and I felt like I was failing at them, and it was discouraging me from trying again.
Yeah. How do you, how do you talk yourself into trying but knowing that it might not go right but it not forcing you back to the start again? Like, what do you what's the grace you give yourself in there to fall short but not fall down?
I think just really reminding myself that trying anything is better than not trying at all, and nothing change like, that cheesy saying, nothing changes if nothing changes. Mhmm. Like, diabetes is so much trial and error. And, you know, I think now, especially, I even find myself comparing to people online that post, you know, their 100% time in range and their amazing a one c's. And, you know, like, good for them, but also, like, I can't compare myself to that because I'm starting from a different place.
I'm going through a different journey. I you know?
Yeah. Also, you don't know what the range is, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah. I you you know, you could set your range to 0 to 300 and be a 100% time in range. Not too hard.
That's true.
Yeah. Yeah. So I always whenever anybody says I'm a 100% time in range, I go, what what was the range? Don't give me don't give me the sunshine and not give me the sky. I wanna know what's happening here.
By the way, earlier, I said, fall short without falling down. And I thought to myself, goddamn. I could be a motivational speaker. That was good.
That is good.
That was a good clip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I might be onto something there. Want me to write a self help book? It'll be and then be a picture of you holding onto a ladder, but, like, you're you're being held by a belt too, so you can't really fall off the ladder if you let go. It's a whole thing. I'll work it out later.
Look look for my 12 part course. God. Can you imagine? But I it's funny because while you were talking about what I was overlaying in my head is pre ballistic. Like Mhmm.
Because there's an example of a thing. That talk I did in Atlanta, I did a a thing with parents and adults, and then I went later and talked to kids. And those kids were, I I believe I'm remembering correctly, from seven years old to 15 years old. It was like a group of about 10 of them. And whether they were seven or 10 or 15 or adults I saw later in their forties, every one of them says the same thing.
I don't know. How am supposed to remember pre balls all the time? Yeah. Know? And and I spent a fair amount of time driving home, like, trying to think about that.
And it was I I I think what I came up with is that it almost has to be what you just said. Like, don't shoot the moon the the first time. You know, promise yourself you're gonna do it, you know, I don't know, three times this week. Yeah. You know?
Until you can get to once a day. And then once you're at once a day, maybe your blood sugar falls, your stability gets bagger better. Maybe you're not as cloudy, and maybe you've gonna have more space in your head to go for twice a day. Or to be able to realize that if you miss it once, it's not a failure. It's a process.
Like, that whole stuff, like, I think that's just how people learn.
Yeah. For sure.
Your your situation and people in your situation, it's just an exploded it's an exploded version of problems everyone has.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? Yours just look more dire. Is that the right way to say it? Maybe that do you know what I mean? Like, you know you know what saying?
Like, if I don't do my laundry today or fold my clothes, which that might be a real example there, the my my a one c is not gonna go up. Yeah. I'm not gonna need needles in my eyeballs one day. Like, right? Like, like, that so I cannot put my clothes away today if I if I can't get around to it.
And so, thusly, when I don't get around to it, I don't feel like this great sense of shame or failure because, I mean, I don't know. What did I really fail at? Like, didn't get my stuff folded? You you know, it's not a big deal. Those are but those are the way people think and their life life situations that are happening twenty four seven to people all over the place.
It's when this unfairness of this diabetes lays on top of it that you really get into a situation. And then you have body image problems, and then you learn how to manipulate insulin, and then you were just on a slippery slope after that.
Yeah.
Yeah. And your parents didn't didn't know enough to step in, and even if they did, you weren't listening to them. That's the other piece. Right?
Right.
Yeah. Right. My gosh. Being alive is a lot. Yeah.
It's really really is. Yeah. How's the depression piece now? Are you better there?
Oh, yeah. For sure. And I think, like, having my blood sugars more stable really plays a huge part in that. Tell them. Because I I'm not so fatigued all the time.
Like, I I have energy to do things. So it just makes a huge difference in my life that I'm actually able to go out and do something.
Same thing for my weight loss. I didn't realize that about myself. I thought I was okay. Mhmm. But I don't know how much you listen to this.
I just said that like you and I are friends. I'm sorry. But, like, I've lost, like, 70 pounds the last three years.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I have that now too. Like, I wake up in the morning, and it's not just, like, my it's not just my, like, mental motivation because I'm a pretty get up, you know, get up new page, keep going person. But get up new page didn't carry around 70 pounds yesterday with me. Lot more energy.
Yeah. Know what mean? Lot a lot feel feel better. And, you know, I've shared this before, but I'll put it here because you were so honest about it. I didn't think I cared about what my body looked like until it looked better.
And then I was like, oh, maybe I did care. I'm not in a lot of photos either. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
And this week this last week, I was standing in front of people at all different angles, and people are holding their phones up. And I never once thought, like, oh, don't don't shoot me from that angle. Like, you know, like, didn't have any Yeah. Didn't not you I used to tell people like, you know, if you wanna take video of me while I'm talking, get on the ceiling. Shoot down.
Okay? And now I don't think twice about it. And I saw a video of myself talking, and I don't think about how I look anymore. But two years ago when the process was beginning and I started to lose weight, I one time remember looking and thinking like, oh, I look like everybody else now. And that that was a weird thing.
I didn't know that I didn't feel like I looked like everybody else before. And so your thing's no different. It's just in reverse.
Right.
Like, I actually I actually was not at a healthy spot and believed I was. You were probably at a healthy spot and believed that you weren't. Yeah. Really something, isn't it? You think about having children ever?
Have you met a boy or a girl that you like? Anything like that happening?
I have not. I I think I'd like to be a parent, one day.
Mhmm. Is it a boy we're looking for? Is that right?
Yes.
Yeah? And this boy is not presenting themselves to you? What what's wrong with him?
I don't I don't know. I've just, I've just only started getting back into the, like, social scene. So
So is there an app up there? What's it called Zamboni or something like that? What do you do?
Oh, there's tons of apps. I don't know. I'm not I'm not really I get a little weirded out by the apps. I just don't know that I can trust them.
Well, you probably can't. But what about the what about the emotional support and physical touch part of this? Like, how do you and if this is too much for you, I just realized I'm quite sure. It's just I asked that. So if I don't mean for it to be creepy.
But, like, what, like, what are you doing for those things in your life?
I don't know. Emotional support? I have tons of friends.
Okay. What about I mean, on that. What about the hugs and and that stuff, though?
I mean, I've never really been a huge, like, physical touch person, so I don't really feel like I'm missing out on a ton.
Do you think you're gonna end up being me though at one day going like, oh, I didn't realize that's what it was like, and I was lying to myself a little bit?
Well, yeah, I could see that happening.
Yeah. So what do you do? You're gonna have to jump in. Right? You're have gonna to find a guy that you're pretty sure is not gonna cut your head off and then and then go because that's gotta be a concern, especially in Canada.
Right? And then you I'm just teasing. I'm sure Canada's a fine place. And, and then you, and then you gotta go out and, like, sit and talk and have a meal with somebody and then make sure they know you're not just gonna, like you know what I mean? Give yourself away too easily and then, like, see if they come back and see if you like them enough to go back.
And that's a process in and of itself.
I know. It's it's it's not fun to think about.
Well, but it maybe it would be fun, though.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Don't
think the right person.
Erin, can I give you a little advice here?
Yeah.
Yeah. I know. It I also, before I give you my advice, let's just everybody say that I understand this isn't how anxiety works. Okay? But you should just calm down and go do it.
Because it's it's it's either going to go well or it's not. Either I'm going to find a hotel or I'm gonna sleep in my car. It Yep. It doesn't matter. I think it really doesn't matter.
It's gonna be fine. You you know what I mean? Like, I'd rather see you go out there and meet a guy and be like, that wasn't for me. Now you have a little bit of instruction. Don't like them that tall.
Don't like it when they talk about this. Like this better. I didn't know I like curly hair. Like, that kind of stuff. You know what I mean?
And then just move to the next one and keep trying. Also, you're gonna be really interested to learn about the people who are initially attracted to you. Yeah. Yeah. Get out there.
You should do it.
Yeah. I plan to.
Good. This summer's a great time. Don't let me press you, but it's getting warm. What's the It is. Yeah.
I mean, this the the permafrost will probably be going in a couple more months. Right? And then the bears will come out. You can go enjoy your life. Is that is that not how all this works up there?
That's exactly how it works.
I know it is. Don't worry. I I I got an all in neck. Also, Erin, you're in my group. Right?
Yes.
Okay. If I look at your profile picture, are you the girl with the glasses or not the glasses?
Glasses.
Okay. May I say something?
Sure.
You're adorable. Go out there and break some boys' hearts. Seriously. Wait till you find out how much fun it is torturing us. My wife seems to be having a fucking party ruining my life.
I think I really think you're gonna enjoy it. Just make some boy love you and then break his heart. It'll it'll take up a whole year. You'll have a great time. It's it's gonna be it's gonna be fantastic.
I I just looked at you and I have a 26 year old. My son's 26. If you were my daughter and I found out that you that you felt like this and you weren't out there, I'd I'd I'd feel, like, a little heartbroken for you. Like Oh, no. Yeah.
Go get him, kill her.
You know
what I mean? Like, get him up there. Is your mom giving you the whole talk about grandbabies and stuff?
No. My, one of my brothers just had a baby, so she's pretty,
Oh, he handled it for you? Bought you some time? Yeah. Do you think about, not that I know you're anxious, but do you think about do you worry about if I had a baby, would it have diabetes?
I do. Yeah.
Where where do you land on that?
I I think I don't think I would ever let that stop me from, like, deciding to have kids.
Mhmm.
But it definitely is something that I'm like, oh. You know?
Well, you know how much you listen, so you were like, uh-oh. What if the kid does that? Yeah. Every time Arden pushes back against me, I look at my wife, and my wife is looking at me, and I know it. She never says it out loud, but she's thinking, that girl is exactly like you.
So, you know, whatever. But but, it's tough. It really is because you you listen. I could I could hit with you all the platitudes and tell you, like, you know, well, you grew up with diabetes, so you know, and you've made all the mistakes. You don't know what to do.
That's all well and good till you say it to somebody, and they go, no. Thank you. Not interested in your opinion. Yeah. Awesome.
Thanks. Here's what I said to my wife the other day. And she agreed with me. I just wanna say this for anybody who's listening. We should not have done this.
That's what I said. I said, do you remember when it was just you and me, and we were just, like, screwing around and having a good time? And, like, she's like and then she goes, how much money we'd probably have if we did not? I was like, I know. Oh, yeah.
Now I don't wanna be without also, when I tried to get my wife to move to Tennessee, she's like, well, I can't move away from the kids. I was like, but aren't they killing us? And she's like, I know, but I can't let you. But I was like, ugh. Damn it.
Oh, I'm stuck. I made these things that I love that are feel no comp comp compunction. Where did that word go? They don't feel any compunction to be kind to me yet. They're not at that age yet.
Not yet. I gotta stay alive long enough for them to apologize to me. That's what I'm thinking. Long do you think that'll be, Aaron? When are you gonna apologize?
Like, ten more years maybe?
Yeah. Maybe around there.
You did say you feel guilty, though, right, about
Oh, yeah.
What your parents have been through. Have you said that to them?
Yeah. Yeah. My yeah. I mean, I've told them, like, you know, I think they did everything that they could at the time or that they could try.
Yeah. You know, that's not comforting to them at all. Right?
I yeah. Yeah. I know.
Not that you shouldn't have said it. I'm glad you said it. But it's they're gonna say thank you, and then they're gonna feel just the same way. People are really complicated in a strange way.
Yeah.
Well, what have we learned from this conversation, Erin? What have you learned from it? Anything, or are you just like, oh, I shouldn't have done this. This guy was terrible at this. What where are you at right now?
Wishing for Something Magical1:09:29
I feel like I just wish I had something magical that would help people get out of situations like this.
Yeah. Me too. Every time I have these conversations do you ever listen to me with Erica when she comes on?
Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. She we go through it, and I have the same terrible thought every time. Like, ugh. But that's probably not gonna happen.
Yeah. You know, do this. Do that. This will help. It's all true, by the way.
Go do those things. They're going to help. And then and but to get the people to do it for reasons like you mentioned, like, either maybe there's medical reasons why they're, you know, a little foggy or low on energy or maybe they're overweight like I was and it's hard to get moving on stuff or whatever is holding you back. It's it it's it's just tough. Like, you need somebody to almost like pull you out of your life, put you in a white room with white walls and white carpet and go, hey.
Look. We got nothing but time here. Let's make a plan and do the things. And Yeah. There's no pressure.
That is the one thing it sounds like happened for you is that the very least you were able to reset, it feels like.
Yes.
You know what I mean? Which I think is sounds like it's been really valuable for you. Because otherwise, if you're trying to fight the fight and fight the other fight at the same time, neither fight gets fought correctly, and you just end up, you know, in these, you know, skirmishes constantly in your life, in your head, in your life, and in your reality. But if you just stop for a second and that's a real benefit. How were you able to afford to do that?
Your parents were supporting you and helping you?
Yes. My parents are a big help, and I am on disability. I work part time. But yeah. I mean, I don't you're probably not familiar with, like, the treatment situation in Canada.
But even that, you know, you're waiting, like, nine months to get into treatment, and it's just
Nine months is the number I hear from everybody. Unless you're dying nine months.
Yeah.
Yeah. And if you get on the list and somebody ends up worse off than you, you slide down.
Yeah.
You don't even get, like, credit for time served on the list. Yeah. Am I right about that?
You know what? That is still one of my questions. They say they don't do that.
But Bullshit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. No. No. No. No.
I I, listen. Socialized medicine sounds nice. There's pieces of it I think are really great, and then there's parts of it like this where nobody's incentivized by money, so nobody hustles.
Yep.
You know? Like, when you need to get paid or you can't turn your air conditioner on, or in your case, you know, thaw out the driveway so you can get to the street. You know, like, it's it's hard to motivate people at their jobs sometimes.
Mhmm.
So yeah. It's awesome. Are you happy you did this?
Yeah. I am.
Yeah. Good. How long have you been listening to the podcast?
Oh, I found it probably back in, like, 2018. I used to listen to it with my mom while we would, like, cook and stuff.
Really? Absolutely. I'm glad I didn't say anything terrible about her now. I would have felt bad if you said that then. But I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said that.
But, no, I I feel I feel good about the the conversation that we had. And I mean, like, from my perspective, you guys are in a situation. It's of not of your own making, of your own making, of a health related making, of a reality related making, and it sounds like you did the best you could with it. You know what I mean? And Yeah.
It's it's something to be proud of, honestly.
Yeah. I think, I think growing up helps a lot.
Just getting older? Yeah. Yeah. Just doing it because you were able to get, what, old enough to do it for yourself? Yeah.
Right. Because, you know, some people talk about doing it for others. That's pretty common. Like, I had a baby. I wanted to be healthy for the baby.
I got married. I wanted that kind of thing. But you just found a way to do it for yourself, which I think is pretty I almost cursed, but it's pretty great. Yeah. Yeah.
Good for you. Oh, congratulations.
Thank you.
Yeah. It's it's a pleasure talking to you. It really was.
Yeah. You too. Awesome.
Do have any questions for me, or is there anything that I should say that I haven't said so?
I don't think so.
I did it. That's all I heard. Perfect. You did it too. You were really great.
I am going to stop the recording, but then hold on one second just so I can ask you a couple questions before you go. Okay? Mhmm. Erin, thank you very much for doing this. I do appreciate.
You were really transparent, and it's gonna help a lot of people. So thank you.
Thank you for having me.
It was a pleasure. This episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by the Omnipod five. And at my link, omnipod.com/juicebox, you can get yourself a free what'd I just say? A free Omnipod five starter kit. Free?
Get out of here. Go click on that link. Omnipod.com/juicebox. Check it out. Terms and conditions apply.
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