#1783 Charlotte Must Hate You - Part 2
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In Part 2, Jen shares her coming out story , her switch to the Trio algorithm , surviving a terrifying solo low , and using Zepbound for insulin resistance.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Bennner (0:0) Welcome back, friends, to another episode of the Juice Box podcast.
Jen (0:14) Well alright. (0:15) Well, hey, everybody. (0:16) I'm Jen, and I'm a type one. (0:19) I was diagnosed when I was 29, and I'm now 52.
Scott Bennner (0:25) This is part two of a two part episode. (0:27) Go look at the title. (0:28) If you don't recognize it, you haven't heard part one yet. (0:31) It's probably the episode right before this in your podcast player. (0:36) My diabetes pro tip series is about cutting through the clutter of diabetes management to give you the straightforward practical insights that truly make a difference.
Scott Bennner (0:45) This series is all about mastering the fundamentals, whether it's the basics of insulin, dosing adjustments, or everyday management strategies that will empower you to take control. (0:55) I'm joined by Jenny Smith, who is a diabetes educator with over thirty five years of personal experience, and we break down complex concepts into simple actionable tips. (1:05) The diabetes pro tip series runs between episode one thousand and one thousand twenty five in your podcast player, where you can listen to it at juiceboxpodcast.com by going up into the menu. (1:16) Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. (1:22) Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin.
Scott Bennner (1:29) The episode you're about to listen to is sponsored by Tandem Moby, the impressively small insulin pump. (1:34) Tandem Moby features Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology. (1:39) It's designed for greater discretion, more freedom, and improved time and range. (1:44) Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. (1:50) I'm having an on body vibe alert.
Scott Bennner (1:52) This episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by Eversense three sixty five, the only one year wear CGM. (2:00) That's one insertion and one CGM a year. (2:04) One CGM, one year. (2:06) Not every ten or fourteen days. (2:08) Ever since cgm.com/juicebox.
Scott Bennner (2:12) Today's episode is also sponsored by US Med. (2:15) Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514. (2:22) Get your supplies the same way we do from USMed. (2:26) Have you done the deed with the boys?
Jen (2:27) I have done the deed with the boys. (2:29) Yes. (2:29) I've done the deed with the boys, and I was just like was like, I don't really get the big, you know, what's the big to do with this. (2:37) I never really understood that. (2:39) And then when so just to, I guess, go and tell my coming out, like, when I so I get diagnosed in '29.
Jen (2:46) I don't come out to my myself. (2:48) Right? (2:48) It's not even to anybody. (2:49) It's to myself until I was 30 or 31, so a couple years later. (2:53) But it's a funny story.
Jen (2:55) I was okay. (2:56) So I was dating this guy. (2:58) I knew he this this would have been my third engagement ring. (3:01) And I'm like, I don't want another ring. (3:02) You know, I could feel it coming, and I'm like, I gotta break up with him.
Jen (3:05) So I know I sound horrible. (3:06) I hope I don't sound horrible, but I I was like, I I'm gonna break up with this guy. (3:09) I'm not in love with him. (3:10) He's a lovely person. (3:12) So I broke up with him.
Jen (3:13) And this is, like, in May. (3:16) And then I was already supposed to be in his sister's wedding
Scott Bennner (3:20) Oh, jeez.
Jen (3:21) In Saint John's, you know, The Caribbean. (3:23) And so when we broke up, his sister's like, well, I still want you to be in my wedding. (3:28) I'm like, oh, okay. (3:30) And my parents are gonna pay for everything. (3:32) I'm like, okay.
Jen (3:33) Because I was in school at the time. (3:34) I'd gone back to ultrasound school and anyway, the whole thing. (3:37) And I'm like, I don't have any money. (3:38) That sounds great. (3:39) And so go to the the, Saint John's wonderful trip in August, And I knew that the bride's best friend was also gonna be a bridesmaid, and she was gay.
Jen (3:52) She was out. (3:53) And I just thought, that's interesting. (3:54) But I didn't think anything about it. (3:55) But someone said, oh, you need to watch out for her. (3:57) She might hit on you because you're really cute.
Jen (3:59) I'm like, that's no. (4:00) She's not. (4:01) What are you talking about? (4:02) Well, she did. (4:03) And so long story short is this person that I ended up dating for eight and a half years flirted with me.
Jen (4:10) It was literally like a movie, like, where the two bridesmaids and have the hots for each other. (4:15) And the whole time I'm going, what is going on? (4:18) Like, this is crazy. (4:19) I've never been so attracted to someone. (4:21) I've never wanted to be around someone so much, and she's actually into me.
Jen (4:25) You know what I mean? (4:26) Like, it's not oh, you know? (4:28) And so we on on the so the the reception was on a I don't know. (4:34) Well, not a yacht, but, you know, one of those boats to go out for a sunset cruise kind of thing.
Scott Bennner (4:37) Mhmm.
Jen (4:38) And so they get married on the beach. (4:40) We go on the sunset cruise. (4:42) Again, I'm diabetic as we all know, not had much to eat all day because it was a wedding, whatever, and it's open bar. (4:50) And I'm not a big drinker, but when something's free, I'm like, whoo. (4:53) It's free.
Jen (4:54) So I was like, I'll have a drink.
Scott Bennner (4:56) You're like, I don't wanna be in your wedding, but free trip to Saint John. (5:00) Right on. (5:01) Yeah. (5:01) Yeah. (5:01) Yeah.
Jen (5:01) I sound horrible. (5:02) Anyway, so I I was very appreciative of the trip. (5:05) But so we're we're and and this one this girl cute girl who loves Sarah McLaughlin. (5:11) Talk about a generalization like I did. (5:13) Right?
Jen (5:14) Mhmm. (5:14) How did I not know I was a gay? (5:16) But, anyway, so, you know, we're talking about Sarah, and, you know, she's farting with me on this boat. (5:21) Well, the dude, right, the dude I used to date. (5:23) K?
Jen (5:24) I mean, he was trying to get back with me on this trip, and I'm, like, giving him the time of day. (5:29) Right? (5:30) I'm just going, yeah. (5:30) He's trying to buy me wine at the dinners. (5:32) Whatever.
Jen (5:32) I'm like, no. (5:33) I'm good. (5:33) And I'm talking to the to Erin who's the the the girl. (5:36) So, anyway, the at the reception, we're it's like me and Aaron. (5:41) It's like this movie, and we're just, like, connecting.
Jen (5:43) We're laughing. (5:44) We're having a good time. (5:45) We're drinking. (5:46) And I'm a lightweight. (5:47) Like, I've had two drinks, and I'm like, woo.
Jen (5:49) And I could see the guy circling, right, the boat. (5:54) I could see him like, oh, he could see us flirting, whatever. (5:58) And I'm going, oh, dear. (5:59) There's only, like, 30 people in this boat. (6:00) It's not big.
Jen (6:01) And so then Erin, the girl says, I dare you to go to the bathroom with me. (6:06) And I was like, okay. (6:08) So and so we go to the bathroom. (6:11) It's so romantic. (6:11) Go to the bathroom.
Jen (6:12) So romantic. (6:13) One on my It sounds it
Scott Bennner (6:14) sounds predatory, but go ahead. (6:17) It was sweet. (6:18) Understand. (6:18) I
Jen (6:19) know. (6:19) I know. (6:19) So I go to the bathroom, and so I don't know. (6:22) We're just standing there, and then she she's like, can I kiss you? (6:26) And I was like, sure.
Jen (6:28) And so she kisses me, and I went, oh my. (6:31) In that moment, I went, this is what everybody's been talking about. (6:33) I was like, oh my gosh. (6:35) How old are you?
Scott Bennner (6:35) 32?
Jen (6:37) I'm, like, 30 or 31, dude. (6:39) I'm clueless. (6:39) Yes. (6:40) God. (6:40) I'm so clueless.
Jen (6:41) Yeah. (6:42) This is, like, what, 2003 or something. (6:45) I don't know. (6:45) 2004. (6:46) I don't even know.
Scott Bennner (6:47) Wait. (6:47) Stop and explain this to me for a second. (6:49) You're 32. (6:49) How old were you the first time you had sex?
Jen (6:51) Dude, you're gonna make me sound so night so square. (6:54) I was 24.
Scott Bennner (6:57) Okay. (6:57) But you had been having sex for seven years.
Jen (7:00) It's not like I was having sex, like, all
Scott Bennner (7:02) the time, dude. (7:03) But No. (7:03) But you but I didn't say you were doing it every day. (7:05) But, like, you'd had sex for seven years with men. (7:09) And then you didn't have any of that, like, oh, this is awesome feeling.
Jen (7:13) No. (7:14) I just thought there was something wrong with me. (7:15) Of that's what I do. (7:16) Right. (7:17) Something wrong with me.
Scott Bennner (7:17) Uh-huh. (7:18) Okay. (7:18) And then Mhmm. (7:19) And then this this girl, she's hunting you like a like a big cat. (7:24) You know what I mean?
Scott Bennner (7:24) Like like, she sounds like she sounds like she's you're in the Serengeti, and she's trying to, like and she gets you in the bathroom. (7:30) And by the way, the poor guy, you know, he's he's circling the ship. (7:34) You know, at one point, he was like, oh my god. (7:36) I'm gonna have a threesome. (7:37) Like, you know, he thought that for a half.
Jen (7:38) He's always like, oh, this is gonna be
Scott Bennner (7:40) awesome night. (7:40) Yeah. (7:41) And then he didn't realize. (7:43) And then Exactly. (7:44) So she gives you a kiss, and you feel something you've never felt
Jen (7:48) before? (7:49) Never in my whole life. (7:50) Right.
Scott Bennner (7:51) I'm gonna say something uncomfortable.
Jen (7:53) Oh, lord.
Scott Bennner (7:54) Had you orgasmed with a guy?
Jen (7:56) Yes.
Scott Bennner (7:57) Okay. (7:57) And not like you weren't just, like, nothing.
Jen (7:59) But it just right.
Scott Bennner (8:01) Functional.
Jen (8:01) It's just like, oh, that felt that felt good.
Scott Bennner (8:03) Okay.
Jen (8:04) But it was very yeah.
Scott Bennner (8:05) Just No. (8:06) No. (8:06) No. (8:06) I'm
Jen (8:07) that's what the body does kinda thing. (8:09) Yeah. (8:09) It's just not having that emotional. (8:12) I don't even know how to explain it.
Scott Bennner (8:13) That No. (8:13) No. (8:13) No.
Jen (8:13) Connection. (8:15) Just like, oh, wow.
Scott Bennner (8:16) And then you'd be different. (8:17) Girl for eight years.
Jen (8:18) Eight and a half years. (8:20) Yes. (8:20) That's where
Scott Bennner (8:21) that U Haul joke comes from.
Jen (8:22) Dude, I mean, we we would have moved in, but she was getting her master's degree two hours away. (8:29) And so I mean, oh, I not that we need to talk about this the whole time, but, I mean, literally so no. (8:35) I'm a tell you. (8:35) I will finish this part. (8:36) So we Good.
Jen (8:37) Make out we're making out in this bathroom for a long freaking time because, apparently, all of a sudden, they start banging on the door. (8:44) They're like, we're back. (8:46) We're at the dock, and we're like, fuck. (8:48) Shit. (8:49) And I was like, oh my god.
Scott Bennner (8:50) We're about to Erin said too.
Jen (8:52) Yeah. (8:52) We're about to dock too. (8:53) And then I said I said to Erin, I said, oh my god. (8:56) Blame it on my diabetes. (8:58) Like, tell them I've been sick.
Jen (8:59) Right? (9:00) And so and so she's like, okay. (9:02) Got it. (9:03) So we come out, and I'm, like, trying to look sick, but I'm looking like, you know, this is the best day of my life, but I'm trying to look sick. (9:09) And and she's like, yeah.
Jen (9:11) Jen got got sick. (9:12) And they're like, sure. (9:14) You know? (9:14) Like, oh, yeah. (9:15) Y'all look like you.
Jen (9:15) You know, our hair's on the whatever. (9:17) So that's so then
Scott Bennner (9:18) Does everyone in your life think you're gay except you?
Jen (9:22) No. (9:22) No.
Scott Bennner (9:22) It's not like that.
Jen (9:24) It wasn't that, dude. (9:25) I'm telling you. (9:26) I I don't like, if you were to see me, you wouldn't go, oh, wow. (9:29) She's gay.
Scott Bennner (9:29) You make sure I'm gay. (9:30) Listen. (9:31) I'll generalize about a lot, but I don't know what that means. (9:33) Why can I get Yeah?
Jen (9:34) You can tell when someone looks a little gay, but, you know, like, lesbian. (9:38) You know, you can tell.
Scott Bennner (9:39) A little lesbian. (9:40) TV band.
Jen (9:41) A little lesbian. (9:42) But look. (9:43) I'm more of a athletic tomboy, but I'm cute at this you know what I'm saying? (9:46) Like,
Scott Bennner (9:47) just I approve you.
Jen (9:47) Yeah. (9:48) Like, a little mix. (9:48) Just something. (9:50) And Aaron didn't look like a lesbian, so, you know, we're just like I don't know. (9:54) We're lipstick lesbians is is what they call them.
Jen (9:56) But, anyway so but the horrible thing was the next morning. (10:02) K? (10:02) So maybe Aaron and I may have slept in the same bed that night. (10:05) Okay. (10:05) And we may have been staying in the same house as my ex and his family.
Jen (10:10) And we may have been in a room because it's Saint John's that is open air. (10:16) Like, it's a screen. (10:17) And people may have seen that we were in the bed that morning because we were hungover. (10:23) I was awful. (10:23) And so the next morning, guess who's dehydrated?
Jen (10:26) Guess who feels like
Scott Bennner (10:27) I'm gonna think Jesus it's Jesus from crying. (10:30) Is that what it was? (10:31) Blood sugar. (10:32) Yeah.
Jen (10:32) I mean, exactly. (10:33) And my blood sugar is tanking because I've had no food.
Scott Bennner (10:35) Oh. (10:36) Oh.
Jen (10:36) I'm like, oh my because it was just appetizers on this boat last night. (10:39) Right? (10:39) And I hadn't had any food. (10:40) And I'm like and and I go and I'm like, I have to walk of shame up the stairs.
Scott Bennner (10:44) To get food where it's low.
Jen (10:46) Either mom's packing up. (10:47) We're leaving today. (10:48) Mom's packing up the kitchen. (10:50) Adam, ex, is sitting on the couch, like, arms crossed mad as can be. (10:55) Yeah.
Jen (10:55) And here I am, little Jen woken up about to pass out going, excuse me.
Scott Bennner (11:01) I need a juice.
Jen (11:02) Can I can I have some crackers and a juice? (11:05) You know? (11:06) And his mom's like, here. (11:08) Yeah. (11:08) And, like, and I was like, oh my god.
Jen (11:10) Everybody knows. (11:11) And, you know, because Aaron and thought, oh, we're no one knows. (11:13) We were so clueless.
Scott Bennner (11:14) Mhmm.
Jen (11:15) And and so, yeah, it was horrible. (11:17) It was like She wasn't saying anything.
Scott Bennner (11:19) She didn't say something like, well, that box lunch didn't keep your blood sugar up. (11:22) That would have been fun. (11:23) No. (11:23) No. (11:24) Thought it was funny.
Scott Bennner (11:24) Yeah.
Jen (11:24) So she was not happy with me.
Scott Bennner (11:26) No. (11:26) No. (11:26) No. (11:26) I mean, listen. (11:27) You are painting a hell of a picture.
Scott Bennner (11:29) You have a coming out party in a bathroom on a boat while the boys while while her son by by the way, on a free vacation while hers that she paid for. (11:38) While her son who thought he was gonna marry you is dejected off in the center thinking, did I make this girl gay?
Jen (11:45) Totally.
Scott Bennner (11:46) Oh, yeah. (11:46) No. (11:46) There's nothing good about this story for him at all.
Jen (11:48) Nothing good about this story about him at all. (11:50) Oh, no. (11:50) And guess who guess what? (11:52) But this is the thing, Scott.
Scott Bennner (11:53) Yeah.
Jen (11:53) I found this out later. (11:54) He was talking to someone, k, who ends up being his wife, and they're still married right now before this trip happened. (12:00) So between me breaking up with him and this trip in August, he was talking to this girl, and now they're married. (12:07) So I'm just saying. (12:09) I get people red.
Jen (12:10) So all the boys that I was engaged to Mhmm. (12:13) And I broke up with them, they got married to the next person in
Scott Bennner (12:15) the day. (12:15) Still married.
Jen (12:16) And they're still married for as long as
Scott Bennner (12:18) I am. (12:18) Well, they learned how to try with you.
Jen (12:20) They understood what not to do. (12:22) Yeah. (12:23) They were ready. (12:24) Then finally, a woman loved them. (12:25) They're like, oh, god.
Scott Bennner (12:26) Is great. (12:27) This so much better.
Jen (12:28) This is so much better. (12:29) She wants to be around me.
Scott Bennner (12:32) I got married to a lady who doesn't go, ew, when I get near her. (12:35) Ew. (12:35) Exactly.
Jen (12:36) Like, oh, my god. (12:37) You're so gross. (12:38) Or you have so much hair. (12:39) Your stubble is so hard.
Scott Bennner (12:41) So wait. (12:42) So you stayed with this girl for eight years? (12:43) So you were Yeah. (12:45) Oh, and then once you get married to the next girl, you bumped into?
Jen (12:49) Well well, I did. (12:50) Yeah. (12:50) Jen was the next one I bumped into. (12:52) So
Scott Bennner (12:52) I understand how this works.
Jen (12:53) Don't worry. (12:54) Yeah.
Scott Bennner (12:54) Yeah. (12:54) Yeah. (12:54) We can have fun, and I can still understand at the same time.
Jen (12:57) Yes. (12:57) Yes. (12:58) Yes. (12:58) For sure.
Scott Bennner (12:59) So you dated that girl for eight years when you had diabetes. (13:01) How much about your type one did you share with her?
Jen (13:04) Trying to remember. (13:05) I am pretty sure that I definitely shared it. (13:08) I didn't hide it
Scott Bennner (13:09) Okay.
Jen (13:09) From her. (13:10) And I'm pretty sure when I dated her, I was on the Animas pump, the Animas ping Mhmm. (13:15) Back then. (13:16) And she yeah. (13:18) She tried she was vegetarian.
Jen (13:20) Well, not that that matters, but but because I didn't know how to cook. (13:23) Like, my cooking was a healthy choice pizza or you know what I mean? (13:27) Like, I didn't cook. (13:28) So it was really bad. (13:29) And so she taught me how to cook, which was a great thing that she taught me.
Scott Bennner (13:33) Right.
Jen (13:33) Of course, it was vegetarian, but she would cook meat for me. (13:36) She didn't you know, she she she knew that. (13:38) It was fine. (13:38) But, yeah, she was definitely involved. (13:42) But you can only be be so involved because what back then?
Jen (13:45) Was there the g four? (13:47) I don't even remember. (13:47) There was no follow. (13:48) There was no you know?
Scott Bennner (13:49) Right.
Jen (13:50) So but yeah. (13:51) I mean, anyone I've ever dated
Scott Bennner (13:52) was a anything from her, like, hey. (13:54) You know, understand this. (13:56) Help me with low blood sugars. (13:59) I used to hate ordering my daughter's diabetes supplies. (14:03) I never had a good experience, and it was frustrating.
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Jen (16:29) No. (16:29) No. (16:30) No. (16:30) I definitely the person dating me is gonna understand it. (16:32) Okay.
Jen (16:32) So oh, yeah. (16:33) Yeah. (16:33) Yeah. (16:33) I teach them. (16:35) Yeah.
Jen (16:35) Yeah. (16:35) So I would teach and talk about carb counting and exercise. (16:39) Oh, I can't go for a walk right now. (16:41) We need to wait an hour because I gotta do this, and I gotta have snacks with me all the time. (16:46) You know, like, I definitely would educate.
Scott Bennner (16:49) We haven't talked about this. (16:50) How much do you understand it?
Jen (16:53) I think I understand it pretty well now.
Scott Bennner (16:55) You do? (16:55) You you you're where's your a one c and your variability at at the at the moment?
Jen (17:00) Dude, it's really good. (17:01) I had it done. (17:02) I can't wait to tell you. (17:03) Yeah. (17:04) Last a one c was 5.1
Scott Bennner (17:06) Awesome.
Jen (17:07) On the Trio.
Scott Bennner (17:08) Okay.
Jen (17:08) And I've been on Trio for I wanna talk about Trio a little bit, but, yeah, five months on Trio.
Scott Bennner (17:11) Yeah, please. (17:12) So you tried just inhaled? (17:15) So were you doing basal injected and inhaled and nothing else?
Jen (17:19) So yeah. (17:20) So when I in 2017 is when I started Afrezza, and it was because my a one c got up to 7.9. (17:28) I went back and looked. (17:29) I'm like, oh my god. (17:30) That's so high.
Jen (17:31) And I was 44. (17:33) I'm pretty sure about in my mid forties. (17:35) I remember going to my female endo telling her, I think my hormones are affecting my blood sugar.
Scott Bennner (17:41) Mhmm.
Jen (17:41) And I said, I just I'm exercising. (17:44) I'm eating well. (17:45) I'm doing what I know to do, and I'm giving myself insulin. (17:48) I cannot control these two double arrows up and two double arrows down. (17:52) And she's like, it's just a part of life.
Jen (17:54) You're fine. (17:55) And I've been researching hormone replacement therapy. (17:58) She's like, no. (17:58) I don't believe in that. (17:59) And I'm going, okay.
Jen (18:00) Well, you know, at the time, I'm like, okay. (18:03) Mhmm. (18:03) I said, well, what about Afrezza? (18:05) You know? (18:05) Because, again, Kelly, had been on Afrezza for maybe three or four months before me, and she was like, oh my god.
Jen (18:11) Jen, it's great. (18:12) You gotta try it. (18:13) And I was like, if you help me, I'll try it.
Scott Bennner (18:15) Okay.
Jen (18:16) So I went on to I was already before I started Afrezza, I was in I went back from Olfa pump to MDI. (18:22) So was like a NovoLog pen and Tresiba. (18:25) So I was already on Tresiba, I liked it. (18:27) And then everybody's like, oh, Tresiba, Afrezza is a great pairing. (18:30) I'm like, okay.
Jen (18:31) I'll try Afrezza. (18:32) And I literally Scott went from NovoLog. (18:35) I stopped NovoLog entirely and went straight to Afrezza. (18:38) And then my a one c dropped from September 2017. (18:42) It was 7.9.
Jen (18:44) March '18, it was 5.9.
Scott Bennner (18:46) Okay. (18:47) And be prior to prior to that, you were doing what? (18:49) MDI?
Jen (18:51) Yes.
Scott Bennner (18:51) Okay.
Jen (18:51) Yes. (18:52) I was doing MDI because I was playing roller derby at the time. (18:56) I used play roller derby, and it's very
Scott Bennner (18:57) Why would you
Jen (18:58) say that?
Scott Bennner (18:58) Why Totally. (18:59) I know. (19:00) I know. (19:00) I know. (19:00) See, I want a
Jen (19:01) part two, so I don't want a part two. (19:02) So I played roller derby, bank track roller derby, hardcore, and I was tired of the putting my pump in my bra or worried about this and that or taking it off and not having insulin in my body, and that's why I went to MDI for a little bit. (19:16) And then I went to so I was on Afrezza from '17 until August '25. (19:24) So what? (19:24) That's eight years.
Scott Bennner (19:25) Why'd you stop?
Jen (19:26) So yep. (19:27) So then I stopped Afrezza and went straight to Trio without doing any other thing because I have another friend who does Trio, and she's been pushing it for, like, a year. (19:38) And Afrezza, I still had really good a one c's with it. (19:43) Mhmm. (19:43) In good my standard deviation is usually around thirty, thirty five, just to answer that question.
Jen (19:48) But on Afrezza, I was doing well, but I what I didn't like about Afrezza is I would have to do it correctly, I would put it into my Dexcom app. (19:59) I would put, like, how much insulin I took because it's in and out of me in about an hour. (20:03) And so I didn't wanna I wanted you know, so I'd put it in my app every time I took a you know, and then I'd have to okay. (20:09) I took four units, and now, you know, like, I'm going up. (20:12) Do I need more?
Jen (20:13) Is this a protein rise? (20:14) Whatever.
Scott Bennner (20:15) Felt like a lot of tracking work?
Jen (20:16) It's a lot of tracking. (20:18) Yep.
Scott Bennner (20:19) What was your a one c on the Afrezza?
Jen (20:21) It was in the fives. (20:22) Okay. (20:23) Anywhere from well, I I I would say it was anywhere from 5.3 to 6.1.
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Jen (21:38) I do. (21:38) Oh, you do? (21:39) Okay. (21:39) Yeah. (21:39) That's what I like about the Trio app is that you can put in external insulin.
Jen (21:43) Yeah. (21:44) And I don't think a lot of algorithms always do that. (21:46) So if I miss if I don't pre bolus or whatever, something happens and my sugar's really high, and I know this is gonna take a long time to come down or longer than I want, longer than an hour, then I'll take the smallest dose of Afrezza. (21:59) I'll put it into the algorithm so it knows I have that insulin on board, and then it'll bring me right down. (22:03) Wow.
Jen (22:04) And then I kinda have the soft landing. (22:06) So I still use both. (22:07) If I'm out and about and and I don't have time to pre bolus and I I really wanna eat, I'll use Afrezza
Scott Bennner (22:15) Okay.
Jen (22:15) Instead of the
Scott Bennner (22:17) Using the pump?
Jen (22:18) The Humalog. (22:19) Yeah. (22:19) Instead of the pump. (22:20) Yeah. (22:21) So I do both, but I'm mainly doing the trio.
Scott Bennner (22:24) Okay. (22:25) Yeah. (22:25) Alright. (22:26) Yeah. (22:27) What was I gonna say there?
Scott Bennner (22:28) Shoot. (22:30) I lost my train of thought. (22:31) Damn it.
Jen (22:32) Damn it.
Scott Bennner (22:33) Damn. (22:33) Damn. (22:33) Damn. (22:34) Damn. (22:34) Damn.
Scott Bennner (22:34) Damn.
Jen (22:36) It's okay. (22:37) He'll edit this out.
Scott Bennner (22:37) No. (22:38) I probably won't. (22:40) No. (22:40) I mean, that's that that's but oh, I I have it now. (22:43) I'm sorry.
Scott Bennner (22:44) So Mhmm. (22:45) Did having listened to the pro tip series eventually help you, or did you end up having to go back
Jen (22:50) You totally helped me.
Scott Bennner (22:51) Okay.
Jen (22:52) And I'm sorry I'm calling you dude all the time. (22:53) I say that a lot,
Scott Bennner (22:54) but whatever you want. (22:55) I don't care.
Jen (22:56) Okay. (22:56) Good. (22:56) Okay. (22:56) Cool. (22:57) Yeah.
Jen (22:57) But yes. (22:58) So once I went oh, well, before I went on Trio, that's when I I, like, I put it on Facebook or I'd I'd message you. (23:05) I'm like, hey, dude. (23:06) You ever gonna talk about Trio? (23:07) Mhmm.
Jen (23:07) And you're like, yeah. (23:08) Eventually. (23:09) And I'm like, well, hurry up. (23:10) Well, you, you know, you you can't do things. (23:12) You you have your schedule.
Jen (23:13) Right? (23:13) So I'm like, okay. (23:14) So I went back, and I listened to the Pro Series for sure, like, religiously. (23:19) And then I listened to the Loop, even though I know Loop's very different from Trio, but it's not that different. (23:25) I listened to all the Loop.
Jen (23:27) I'm like, okay. (23:28) I wanna understand algorithms. (23:29) I wanna under you know what I mean? (23:31) And then I got on the Trio Facebook group, and I'm talking to my friend. (23:34) And I finally said, what and so the the the the thing about Afrezza, what's great about it, is it's quick in and quick out.
Jen (23:43) So I never had to worry about really, really dropping during exercise. (23:47) You know, I as long as I eat an hour before, it's out of my system. (23:50) I can go exercise, go run, go play pickleball. (23:53) I'm not gonna drop. (23:54) Right?
Jen (23:55) And so I was hesitant to go onto an algorithm because of, you know, insulin being acting like it does. (24:02) And so it's been a big shift. (24:04) Like, I have to because at first, I did pre bolus. (24:06) I would literally go, this is how much I'm eating, and I would take it as soon as I started eating or sometimes after
Scott Bennner (24:12) Okay.
Jen (24:12) I ate, and it would still cover the rise or whatever. (24:15) And so it's a whole different mindset to go from Afrezza, I think, to an algorithm. (24:22) But I only did it because I had a friend who really knows the Trio app and was helped me with my settings, helped me with everything.
Scott Bennner (24:29) Made sense to you to try it.
Jen (24:31) Yeah. (24:31) Yeah. (24:31) Yeah. (24:31) So that's that's why. (24:33) But Afrezza's great, and it I love it as a complimentary now, but it definitely you have to be willing to track it.
Jen (24:41) Because if you don't if let's say you take you'd inhale it right now, and then in thirty minutes, you know, you go, oh, I'm rising. (24:49) When did I take it? (24:50) Was it fifteen minutes ago, was it an hour? (24:52) You know? (24:53) And because if it's just fifteen minutes, you'd probably need to wait.
Jen (24:55) It probably hasn't hit you really yet. (24:57) You know? (24:57) So that's why I would track it and and stay. (25:00) And then you'd always have to follow-up. (25:02) So, like, you take it for the initial rise, then you have to take a follow-up dose for the protein, then another dose for the fat.
Jen (25:08) You know what I'm saying? (25:09) So there you it was like a constant having to take it.
Scott Bennner (25:11) You're involved. (25:12) You felt involved too much.
Jen (25:14) Yeah. (25:14) I did. (25:15) And then, like, Tresiba was not doing a great job. (25:18) I was a little in denial, but at night I I was trying to I'm trying to figure this out. (25:22) But at night, almost every time when I lay my head down, my sugar goes high.
Jen (25:26) No matter what time I go to bed, it, like, starts going up. (25:29) And and I so I try to adjust the Tresiba, and it it would make me low, you know, like, maybe twelve hours later. (25:37) You know, it just I couldn't figure out the Tresiba. (25:39) But because Afrezza worked so well the rest of the time, I was like, it's worth it.
Scott Bennner (25:44) Okay.
Jen (25:44) And so but then, again, I got tired of tracking it. (25:48) I wanted to see if this algorithm could help me with my nighttime blood sugars. (25:51) And And that's why I'm at a 5.1. (25:53) Oh. (25:53) I mean, that's the only way I got to a 5.1 because my blood sugars overnight are so beautiful.
Jen (25:58) I'm like, this is so great. (25:59) Yeah. (25:59) But what I do have to do is when I get get ready for bed, I usually read before bed, and I'll I gotta remember my override. (26:06) Go, okay. (26:07) Nighttime override, and it's, like, 40% increased basil for two hours, and then it tends to cover the bump at night.
Jen (26:15) So that's what I do.
Scott Bennner (26:17) If I made you choose between the two, you'd pick Trio over Afrezza?
Jen (26:20) For sure. (26:21) Mhmm. (26:22) Yes. (26:23) I love it. (26:23) Yeah.
Jen (26:23) It's really great. (26:25) I mean, I still don't like that I have to get ready for exercise and the whole thing. (26:28) I but I just I just you just have to. (26:31) I wish insulin was quicker like Afrezza. (26:33) Yeah.
Jen (26:34) If we had quick liquid insulin, it would be amazing. (26:37) I think for now, I would stick with Trio.
Scott Bennner (26:41) Okay. (26:41) Fair enough.
Jen (26:42) Just because I don't have to worry about the in between as much.
Scott Bennner (26:45) Yeah.
Jen (26:45) Because I know the algorithm's taking care of me in between eating and whatnot.
Scott Bennner (26:49) Yeah. (26:50) Arden's been we all got sick last week, and Arden was, like, the last one. (26:54) But pretty interesting after she did eventually get sick, but she kicked it in, a couple of days, which I think we think is because she got her tonsils and adenoids out that she wasn't sick forever like she used to be when she was sick. (27:07) Mhmm. (27:07) But, nevertheless, she's sick for a few days, and she didn't really eat.
Scott Bennner (27:12) And really didn't matter. (27:14) Like, that thing
Jen (27:15) just Perfect. (27:15) Right? (27:15) If I didn't have to eat, Trejo would be I'd have to be a a 4.8. (27:19) Yeah. (27:20) I mean, like, it's just perfect.
Scott Bennner (27:21) Really kept her super steady while she was Yeah.
Jen (27:24) Going great.
Scott Bennner (27:24) Yes. (27:25) Sleeping and ill and, like, all that stuff.
Jen (27:28) Yeah. (27:28) So are you gonna do are you gonna talk about I know we're talking about it now, but are you hoping to it would just be great if you and Jenny would talk about trio.
Scott Bennner (27:37) So that's the thing is you have to find somebody who really understands the the
Jen (27:41) Yeah. (27:42) The algorithm.
Scott Bennner (27:43) Well, yeah. (27:44) I mean, how is it working and what are what are all these settings doing and how do you go through the different menus and make sense of them? (27:49) And I'm not that person.
Jen (27:51) Me either. (27:52) I know.
Scott Bennner (27:52) And so I really I enjoy the people very much who work on the algorithm, but sometimes they're not that person either. (28:00) Like, they're not as I love those guys, and a couple of them have been on the show, like but they Yeah. (28:05) They're better at the part that makes the algorithm than they are about the part that talks about it.
Jen (28:11) Yes. (28:11) Yes.
Scott Bennner (28:12) And it's tough. (28:12) So you're looking for someone conversational who like, it's a tough mix. (28:17) Like, you have to have a technical understanding of it and be conversational about at the same time. (28:21) Because otherwise, someone's just gonna come on and read a manual to you, and that doesn't really help you and you don't care to begin with.
Jen (28:26) Right.
Scott Bennner (28:26) And if someone just comes on and, like, you know, just talks about, like, oh, it's great because of this and that, like, that's not very directional. (28:34) And Mhmm. (28:35) I don't know. (28:35) It's tough. (28:36) Like, I just don't think that person has become obvious to me yet.
Jen (28:41) But is Jenny using trio?
Scott Bennner (28:43) She does. (28:44) Yeah. (28:44) But, I mean So
Jen (28:45) could she talk about it? (28:46) I don't
Scott Bennner (28:46) know how deeply I don't know if I've ever asked her.
Jen (28:48) I don't
Scott Bennner (28:48) know how deeply she can talk about it.
Jen (28:50) Scott, you gotta ask Jenny.
Scott Bennner (28:52) Well, Jenny Jenny's busy. (28:53) Also, making, like, bolus four episodes, and she has a life and all the kids and a job and stuff like that.
Jen (28:59) So You could at least look. (29:00) If I can talk to my sisters, you can ask Jenny.
Scott Bennner (29:03) I mean, it's not that I can't it's not that I can't ask her. (29:05) I just like I know. (29:06) I don't know what I I don't know that she's the right person. (29:09) Not that she doesn't understand it, but, like, the conversationally. (29:12) Like, I just did an interview with somebody else, and they I loved the way they thought about things.
Scott Bennner (29:18) I loved their their understanding of it. (29:20) And then when I got done with them, I was like, it didn't go great. (29:24) And, like, there's just there's a there's an x factor about people who can just kinda, like, bounce through it and talk about it, and it's you don't know who it is right away.
Jen (29:31) Right. (29:32) You need a Kenny Fox for Trio.
Scott Bennner (29:34) Well and listen. (29:35) I love Kenny, but Kenny also talks way too technically about it.
Jen (29:38) Well, that's true. (29:39) It's very technical. (29:39) I know. (29:40) I know.
Scott Bennner (29:40) I'm the one that dumbs Kenny down.
Jen (29:42) I know. (29:43) You're right. (29:43) Yeah. (29:43) You do have to dumb him down.
Scott Bennner (29:44) That. (29:45) I can't smart it up. (29:47) Like, I can dumb it down, but I can't smart it up. (29:49) Does that make sense?
Jen (29:50) Well, don't you think the main thing about Trio is that it has dynamic ISF, which means, right, the ISF, you put it in there, but then it will change as needed.
Scott Bennner (30:00) Oh, sure.
Jen (30:00) Which I think is amazing.
Scott Bennner (30:01) Need to talk about that on a podcast for. (30:03) Just use the damn thing.
Jen (30:04) Well yeah.
Scott Bennner (30:05) You put your settings in, and it it'll help. (30:08) You know? (30:08) Generally speaking for Arden, I think it adjusts well with her changes.
Jen (30:13) But listen. (30:14) But when you talk about an extended bolus with other algorithms, this doesn't have an extended bolus. (30:19) Right? (30:20) Alright. (30:20) So, you know, like, it so
Scott Bennner (30:22) Yeah. (30:22) We just put in fat and protein in the and let it do the thing that way.
Jen (30:26) That's what I'm saying. (30:27) Right? (30:27) You let it do the thing. (30:28) So I just wanted to clarify with you. (30:29) When you say extended bolus, I don't need to do anything because I'm on trio is all I wanna know.
Jen (30:35) You know what I mean? (30:35) Like, that kind of stuff.
Scott Bennner (30:36) If you're putting together, like, a high fat meal. (30:39) Right? (30:39) Right. (30:40) And it's got 16, you know, 18 carbs in it, then and you put that in your in the bolus calculator when you make your when you make your your meal bolus, it's gonna spread out more boluses into the future to cover that fat. (30:55) Right.
Scott Bennner (30:55) But that is an extended bolus. (30:56) It's just being extended by the algorithm.
Jen (30:59) That's what I mean. (30:59) I don't have to go in and do it. (31:01) So my point is my wife will come to me now that she's listened to the pro series, and I've known her for thirteen years, by way. (31:06) But, anyway, so she just listened to it. (31:07) She was, babe, you need to do it.
Jen (31:09) Extend the bolus. (31:10) I'm like, babe. (31:11) No. (31:11) I don't. (31:12) You know, because Trio's doing it for me.
Jen (31:14) I'm pretty sure.
Scott Bennner (31:14) Yeah. (31:15) But but if, I mean, but if you are getting a rise, you know, after a fatty meal, then maybe the FPU calculation in Trio doesn't work for you or for that meal.
Jen (31:25) Right.
Scott Bennner (31:26) You know? (31:26) And I don't know if I I don't wanna be clear. (31:28) See, this is why I don't talk about it. (31:29) I don't know if the Trio app is using the Warsaw calculator or not to figure out fat. (31:34) I don't know how it does it.
Jen (31:35) It is. (31:36) It is. (31:36) Yep. (31:37) If you look at the info, it yeah. (31:39) It's using that method.
Jen (31:40) But I'm not gonna look at
Scott Bennner (31:41) the infield. (31:41) That sounds like a lot
Jen (31:42) of work. (31:42) I know you're I know it's so much work. (31:44) But that's fair. (31:45) That's fair. (31:46) I just wanted to make sure that because I you know, we're kinda on cutting edge.
Jen (31:50) I feel good about that that I'm like, with this algorithm. (31:53) But that when I'm listening to you and Jenny speak, then I'm like, okay. (31:57) But I think the algorithm's doing that for me. (31:59) You know, that's the only thing I I sometimes question. (32:02) So
Scott Bennner (32:03) I think that not dissimilarly to when people say, oh, that pro tip series, I'm MDI. (32:09) That's not for me. (32:10) That pro tip series is exactly for you if you're MDI.
Jen (32:12) Totally. (32:13) Totally. (32:14) Yes.
Scott Bennner (32:14) Just because it's just about putting in insulin in certain places. (32:18) Like, can do that with a syringe. (32:20) Right? (32:20) You can do that. (32:21) You can do that.
Scott Bennner (32:22) But some people have that knee jerk reaction like, oh, this isn't exactly what I'm doing. (32:27) You can adapt it. (32:28) And I think the same thing for, you know, conceptually where insulin goes in and how and, you know, how you time it, how much of it is, you know, timing and amount. (32:38) If you're using Trio, those ideas still work there. (32:41) Like, it's automating stuff for you.
Scott Bennner (32:43) Fair enough. (32:44) But Uh-huh. (32:45) But, nevertheless, like, the idea, like, the the the foundation of what you're doing, which is timing and amount and understanding the impacts of different foods, that that's still the same.
Jen (32:54) Right.
Scott Bennner (32:55) Yeah. (32:55) Okay. (32:55) So I would say don't overthink it. (32:57) Like, take your general knowledge and apply it to the thing you're doing.
Jen (33:01) Yes. (33:01) Yeah. (33:01) That's fair.
Scott Bennner (33:02) That's how I think
Jen (33:03) of it. (33:03) I could do that.
Scott Bennner (33:03) Yeah.
Jen (33:04) Well, can I just talk you tell me if I'm all over the place? (33:06) You already said I am. (33:07) But I wanted to mention this one thing about Lowe's, if I can, just in case there's other people that have had this experience. (33:13) So I was on an algorithm, I don't wanna say which one, two years ago, for, like, three months. (33:21) And this algorithm is very conservative, and I was used to a really tight control.
Jen (33:27) But, again, I tried this algorithm, not trio, another one, because of that nighttime rise. (33:32) I thought, well, maybe an algorithm will catch it. (33:33) Mhmm. (33:34) Well, it didn't, by the way. (33:35) It did not help me in that way.
Jen (33:37) But what happened was, I think, because it was so conservative and I was high like, to me, high is over two like, over one fifty is high, but 200, I'm I'm mad. (33:46) Right? (33:47) I'm upset. (33:47) And with being on Afrezza before that, I wasn't used to being high for very long.
Scott Bennner (33:51) Right.
Jen (33:51) So if I was high for three hours, I was like, this is not cool. (33:54) So I kept giving myself insulin, giving myself insulin. (33:57) And then at this point, two years ago, I was alone. (34:01) My wife was working in South Dakota on an Indian reservation. (34:05) That's a whole another story, but she's gone.
Jen (34:07) Right? (34:07) And and all of a sudden, I remember, like and the other funny part as I was talking to this pumps rep on the phone, she was trying to help me with the algorithm. (34:18) I get off the phone with her, like, 05:30 at night. (34:21) I wasn't very impressed with her. (34:22) Like, she didn't help me at all.
Jen (34:24) And then all of a sudden, I'm I'm starting to make, like, a dinner or whatever, and then I'm like, oh, dear. (34:29) Like, I could feel, like, oh god. (34:31) I'm really dropping. (34:32) And I look, and the two hours are going down. (34:34) The Dexcom's alarming me.
Jen (34:35) I'm freaking out. (34:37) And I just remember, like, oh my god. (34:39) And I remember pacing in my kitchen slash living room. (34:43) And I have two little dogs. (34:44) I remember that their heads were distorted.
Jen (34:46) Their eyes looked big, and they're licking me because I'm sweaty. (34:50) And I know I'm supposed to do something. (34:52) And I'm like, what am I supposed to do? (34:53) I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. (34:55) I'm supposed to do something, and I just kept pacing and pacing.
Jen (34:58) And we have a Ring camera, and my wife, of course, is following me. (35:01) So she's in South Dakota, and she's going, oh my god. (35:04) My wife is, you know I could see her pacing. (35:07) I could see her not drinking juice, and I can't get so she's texting me. (35:11) And I remember looking at my phone going, what's that?
Jen (35:13) Didn't know what a text was. (35:14) Mhmm. (35:15) I'm like, oh my god. (35:16) What is I don't what who's tech I was like, what is this? (35:18) And then all of a sudden, the TV, I went, oh, oh my god.
Jen (35:21) The TV's trying to talk to me because it was black, and then all of sudden, it had a sentence on it. (35:26) And I went, what the hell? (35:27) And I'm like, what is the TV's trying to do to me? (35:30) She was apparently trying to talk to I'm not gonna say her name because she'll start talking, but Alicia, you know Mhmm. (35:36) You know, Alexa.
Jen (35:37) She's trying to get Alexa to make an announcement. (35:41) Jen, drink juice. (35:43) And that's what they said on the TV. (35:44) And so she's trying to help me, calling me. (35:46) I don't I don't understand how to answer a phone.
Jen (35:48) I mean, I was that bad.
Scott Bennner (35:49) Yeah.
Jen (35:50) And then eventually, I I I grabbed some Wheat Thins. (35:54) Why? (35:54) Because they were on the cat on the counter. (35:56) I'm eating Wheat Thins, which is the worst thing to eat. (35:58) Because how dry is that?
Jen (35:59) I mean, I'm eating these Wheat Thins. (36:01) And and I just remember and I sat on the couch, all of sudden, you know, you come too. (36:05) And I went, oh my god. (36:08) Like and I look, and there's crumbs everywhere on the counter, and I'm just, like, freaking out. (36:12) And I text my wife, and I'm like, babe, I'm so sorry.
Jen (36:15) I'm okay. (36:15) And, you know, the whole thing.
Scott Bennner (36:17) But thank god you didn't put the wheat thins away because you know she's the one that left them out. (36:21) Right?
Jen (36:22) Right. (36:22) Yeah. (36:23) Seriously. (36:24) Yeah. (36:24) And so but what's what's really you know, and my heart was pounding.
Jen (36:28) I had all the symptoms of of a really bad low, But not only was that a bad low, but maybe a week later, I I think I had almost like PTSD. (36:38) So as soon as I saw two arrows going down, no matter what I was, I my heart would start pounding. (36:44) Take your knees. (36:45) I'd start sweating, and I'm going, oh my god. (36:48) Maybe the Dexcom's off.
Jen (36:49) Oh my god. (36:49) Maybe I'm having a low. (36:50) And I was so and I was like, I was foggy brained, and I literally gave myself a a whatchamacallit? (36:57) A Gvo pin in the in the leg, And I don't even know if I was low. (37:02) But my wife told me later, she said, sweetie, I think you're having a panic attack.
Jen (37:07) Oh. (37:07) And I went, what? (37:08) I've never had a panic attack. (37:10) She goes, pretty sure you're having a panic attack. (37:12) What you're telling me was happening, you know, is more of a panic attack than a low blood sugar.
Jen (37:18) So, anyway, I I had to change the Dexcom alarm. (37:22) I couldn't stand the sound. (37:23) I'm like, I hate the sound. (37:25) You know? (37:26) And and I did that.
Jen (37:27) And then and that was the other reason with the Fresa. (37:30) Fresa's great, but it it it it'll drop you quick. (37:33) You know what I mean? (37:34) And that it was you would see two arrows coming down all the time, but then it would come in in a soft landing. (37:39) Right?
Jen (37:40) Because it's in and out in an hour for me. (37:42) And but it's still that trigger of, oh god. (37:44) Oh god. (37:45) Oh god. (37:45) You know, I'm dropping really quick.
Jen (37:47) And I'm just now two hour two years later, you know, not as worried about having but it still happened before where it's almost like I'm causing these symptoms mentally, and it's really scary because they're very similar to to a low blood sugar.
Scott Bennner (38:04) Some
Jen (38:04) of those triggers
Scott Bennner (38:04) kinda make you panicky.
Jen (38:07) Yes.
Scott Bennner (38:07) Yeah. (38:08) Wow. (38:08) No. (38:09) I I can't I can't blame you. (38:10) That that's gotta be frightening.
Scott Bennner (38:12) Also, the TV's talking to you, like, right out of Pluribus. (38:15) You watch that?
Jen (38:16) I mean, sir say that again?
Scott Bennner (38:17) Have you watched the Pluribus show on Apple Plus?
Jen (38:20) No. (38:21) Oh, it's pretty good. (38:21) Was a severance. (38:22) Did you say severance?
Scott Bennner (38:23) No. (38:23) No. (38:24) Is it not Pluribus with, like, a one in it or something like that? (38:27) I haven't figured the one out yet.
Jen (38:29) Oh, I haven't watched that one. (38:30) No. (38:31) I don't know.
Scott Bennner (38:31) Yeah. (38:31) It's Plur is it yeah. (38:33) It's Pluribus.
Jen (38:35) Oh, yeah. (38:36) Yeah. (38:36) I've heard of it, but I haven't watched it yet.
Scott Bennner (38:38) Watch that. (38:38) It'll freak you out when the TV starts talking to her.
Jen (38:40) Awesome. (38:41) Great.
Scott Bennner (38:41) You'll probably you'll probably give yourself glucagon when it
Jen (38:43) happens. (38:46) Exactly.
Scott Bennner (38:47) My gosh.
Jen (38:48) So do I.
Scott Bennner (38:48) Well, that's frightening. (38:49) I mean and not you know? (38:52) Gosh. (38:53) I just think that we probably don't talk enough about adults by themselves Yeah. (39:00) And what that must feel like.
Scott Bennner (39:01) You know?
Jen (39:02) It's really scary. (39:03) I told her. (39:03) I said, you have got to quit that job. (39:05) Was like, I hate being by myself. (39:07) Was so afraid to be alone.
Jen (39:08) Damn it. (39:10) Sit and stare at me like Scott stares at Arden. (39:12) Okay? (39:13) And do someone to stare at me and tell me if I'm okay.
Scott Bennner (39:15) Funny. (39:16) Haven't laid eyes on Arden in, like, thirty six hours too.
Jen (39:19) Yeah. (39:19) Yeah. (39:19) I know. (39:19) Know you have. (39:20) I mean, wish she was little.
Jen (39:21) I know.
Scott Bennner (39:21) But Yeah.
Jen (39:22) Yeah. (39:23) But so I yeah. (39:24) I was like but I was, and my wife was like, okay. (39:27) We have to have a neighbor's like, we gotta give them the garage code, a key. (39:32) I'm like, babe.
Jen (39:33) I'm like, I don't wanna have to walk in. (39:35) I'm naked because I'm, you know, I'm so hot and sweaty that I've taken all my clothes off. (39:39) She's like, they'll be okay. (39:40) Yeah. (39:41) Better
Scott Bennner (39:41) naked. (39:41) Better naked naked. (39:43) Yeah.
Jen (39:44) I know. (39:44) I know.
Scott Bennner (39:44) And then one time she felt trying to send messages through the Alexa
Jen (39:48) so helpless. (39:49) I know. (39:49) I was like, I felt so bad for her because she said, I could see you circling. (39:53) And she says, oh my god, babe. (39:54) She knew it was bad because of the number plus my behavior.
Jen (39:58) Because normally, I can feel it if I'm at 70 or 60 or whatever and, you know, and I know what to do, but it was like I was so depleted of sugar in my brain
Scott Bennner (40:07) Yeah. (40:07) Yeah.
Jen (40:08) That I didn't know what to do. (40:09) It was so scary. (40:10) Is she
Scott Bennner (40:11) watching you on a camera?
Jen (40:12) Yes. (40:12) It was a Ring camera that was in the living room, and so she could see me pacing. (40:18) And she could see the dogs following me, and and, yeah, she felt helpless because she called me, and I didn't answer. (40:25) She texted me. (40:25) I didn't respond, and she tried to talk to Alexa, and I didn't respond because I I literally was so low.
Jen (40:32) I didn't know what a text was.
Scott Bennner (40:33) No. (40:34) Of course.
Jen (40:34) I mean, that's crazy.
Scott Bennner (40:35) Did she get to the point where she called 911?
Jen (40:38) No. (40:39) Because say why? (40:41) She oh, she was close. (40:42) I mean, I think she was, like I was about to call 911, and then she I think she saw me starting to eat the wheat thins because they were in the kitchen.
Scott Bennner (40:50) Okay.
Jen (40:50) So she saw me start eating. (40:52) I'm pretty sure it's what happened. (40:53) And I think I finally as soon as I started eating, I was able to go, I'm I'm I'm, you know, I'm not okay, but I'm gonna be okay. (41:00) You know? (41:00) Sort of like I'm still coming up.
Scott Bennner (41:01) But Don't worry about me. (41:03) Worry about the dogs. (41:04) Something's wrong with their eyes.
Jen (41:06) Their eyes are popping out of their head. (41:08) Yeah. (41:08) Something else like that.
Scott Bennner (41:09) Something really wrong with the dogs.
Jen (41:10) Totally. (41:11) Their heads are distorted. (41:12) They're so big. (41:13) I don't understand what's happening. (41:14) Yeah.
Jen (41:14) But I could just see their concern. (41:16) It was like Mhmm. (41:17) Yeah. (41:17) It was weird how everything was so distorted. (41:19) It was so scary.
Scott Bennner (41:20) Do you think they were just waiting for you to die so they could eat you?
Jen (41:23) Probably. (41:24) Yeah. (41:24) I mean, they love to lick the salt from the sweat. (41:26) So They're like,
Scott Bennner (41:27) oh my god. (41:28) She's gonna taste great when she passes out.
Jen (41:32) Exactly. (41:32) So, anyway, I do wanna mention that that was horrible, and I hope no one else has that. (41:37) But but I've never had a seizure, which I'm very grateful for. (41:41) And that's the other thing about being having the trio. (41:44) I feel a little more safe, I guess, with it with lows.
Jen (41:49) I mean, I still can have a bad low if something weird happens or the Dex comes off or whatever, but I still feel so much safer Mhmm. (41:57) Than I ever have before, and so I'm very grateful for that.
Scott Bennner (42:00) There's something to be said for a thing that is taking away insulin when it thinks you're gonna get low. (42:05) That's pretty damn valuable.
Jen (42:06) It's really important. (42:08) And I'll say I'm also on Zepbound, so that helps with, I think, algorithms and things, you know, used in less insulin and stuff. (42:16) But because going back to the hormone thing, like, I eventually went to a hormone specialist. (42:22) I was at 47, was actually in menopause. (42:25) I went to menopause very early.
Scott Bennner (42:26) Mhmm.
Jen (42:27) And as soon as I got on the estrogen and progesterone, my blood sugar stopped going from two hours up to two hours down for no reason, and now it was just more normal again. (42:36) So that really helped. (42:37) But even though I've always exercised, I've been a runner, I work out, I eat healthy, I take care of myself, I had gained, like, 30 pounds. (42:45) I couldn't lose it. (42:46) And I'm like, what the heck?
Jen (42:47) And so an ex endo, I don't see her anymore, but she mentioned, you know, Ozempic or whatever. (42:55) I can't remember what it was, but I think it was Ozempic. (42:57) And she goes, it's not approved for type ones, but off label, I can prescribe it. (43:03) We could see if insurance will cover it. (43:04) And so I started off with the sample pens for, like, three months.
Jen (43:07) I kept that going as long as I could Mhmm. (43:09) And lost weight, and now I'm at my normal weight. (43:12) And the amount of Afrezza, I was using probably a hundred units a day, which is really, like, fifty units of normal insulin. (43:20) And, normally, I was using fifty. (43:21) So I was using twice as much insulin.
Jen (43:23) And then as soon as I got on the GLP one, I went back down to about 45 to 50 units. (43:28) And now today, I use about 30 to 35, including basil on the yep. (43:35) And so I'm willing to pay the $4.99 a month. (43:39) I hate that I pay that much, but that's what I'm doing is that Lilly Direct plan Mhmm. (43:44) To be able to get it because it's worth it to me.
Jen (43:47) And I and I split it. (43:48) So I I take it, like, on a Saturday and then a Wednesday. (43:52) So I have it set up on my phone to remind me, but I split the dose because the dose doesn't last the whole time for me. (43:58) Yeah. (43:58) And when I would just do one dose, by day six, I was my sugars would be crazy again.
Scott Bennner (44:03) Yeah.
Jen (44:04) I'm like, this sucks. (44:05) I don't wanna have to deal you know what I mean? (44:06) It's a
Scott Bennner (44:07) Did you find that you you didn't need it all to begin with?
Jen (44:09) I think it was so, like, I'm on on Zepbound. (44:12) I'm on twelve point five, so it's a higher dose.
Scott Bennner (44:14) Oh, okay.
Jen (44:15) But, I'm supposed to the dose is fifty units because I get them in little vials, like little insulin vials. (44:20) That's how they ship it to. (44:21) It's not pens. (44:22) Yeah. (44:23) So if you use a syringe with it so I can dose it.
Jen (44:25) Right? (44:25) So I use 20, so forty units a week. (44:29) So twenty, you know, on a Wednesday and twenty on a, on a Saturday.
Scott Bennner (44:33) Mhmm.
Jen (44:33) And by splitting it up, I use, I mean, I don't have a weird day without GLP one in me.
Scott Bennner (44:42) I yeah. (44:42) I I feel like that a a microdosing of it is probably really valuable for people. (44:47) Did you you needed to lose some weight, but you lost it. (44:50) It's gone now?
Jen (44:51) Oh, yeah. (44:51) I totally need to lose weight.
Scott Bennner (44:52) Okay.
Jen (44:53) Because I promise you, I've always exercised. (44:55) I've always eaten healthy, and I could not lose weight. (44:58) I'm like, I'm running three miles a day. (45:00) I'm lifting weights. (45:01) I'm eating really healthy.
Jen (45:03) I'm taking care of my blood sugar. (45:04) I'm on hormones, and I think it was just hormones. (45:07) And then I think I'm GLP one deficient. (45:10) I mean, that's the only thing I can figure out. (45:12) And now I'm at a very healthy weight, and now I basically use it.
Jen (45:17) Because I still get really hungry because I still work out a lot. (45:20) I do orange theory. (45:21) So when I work out and lift weights, I'm hungry. (45:24) So I still have hunger, but I used to wake up every morning famished, and now I don't. (45:30) Yeah.
Jen (45:30) And I used to just snack all the time, I don't snack as much as I used to. (45:35) It was more of a I think my body needed it. (45:39) And, I mean, my my endo is like, I think you have some insulin resistance. (45:43) And so let's, you know, let's put you on this GOP. (45:47) Mhmm.
Jen (45:47) And that's how it started. (45:49) So
Scott Bennner (45:49) Yeah. (45:49) Oh, good for you. (45:50) I think it's really valuable. (45:52) I I still maintain that it's been keeping Larden needs down by, like, 30. (45:58) So Totally.
Jen (45:58) Yeah. (45:59) Yeah. (45:59) It really dropped mine.
Scott Bennner (46:00) It stops the you know, any kind of post meal spikes that maybe, you know, come from, you know, a bad bolus or a bad side or something like that are lesser, fewer low blood sugars, more stability, you know, a lot comes with it.
Jen (46:17) So I definitely recommend it. (46:19) For sure. (46:20) It's made my life a lot easier.
Scott Bennner (46:22) So I'm glad. (46:23) That's awesome. (46:24) Yeah. (46:24) And I really appreciate you doing this with me. (46:26) Thank you very much.
Scott Bennner (46:27) This was You're
Jen (46:27) so welcome.
Scott Bennner (46:28) You did a great job, and this was awesome. (46:30) I had a great time talking with you.
Jen (46:32) Yeah.
Scott Bennner (46:32) Yeah. (46:33) Yeah. (46:33) I did I never even noticed your accent.
Jen (46:34) Oh, I don't believe that. (46:35) That's right.
Scott Bennner (46:36) I am lying about that completely.
Jen (46:37) You're so lying about that, Scott. (46:39) What do
Scott Bennner (46:39) we call this episode?
Jen (46:40) Dude, that was what I was I know. (46:42) I told Kelly, I'm like, I want a part one and part two, and then I want I wonder what he's gonna call it.
Scott Bennner (46:48) Well, I gotta figure out what's Listen. (46:50) Call it, but I'll I do wanna say one thing. (46:52) Do wanna tell you one thing. (46:54) Saint John's is a small island off of Canada. (46:57) Saint John is in the Virgin Islands.
Scott Bennner (46:59) There's no evidence. (47:00) No You're call me
Jen (47:01) out for that. (47:01) No. (47:01) I was. (47:02) You're right. (47:02) You're right.
Jen (47:03) I know.
Scott Bennner (47:03) I'm right.
Jen (47:03) So I was in Saint John.
Scott Bennner (47:05) I the entire time you said it.
Jen (47:07) Are you serious?
Scott Bennner (47:08) Yeah. (47:08) But out
Jen (47:08) of respect. (47:09) You wait. (47:09) No. (47:10) No. (47:10) No.
Jen (47:10) You should have told me.
Scott Bennner (47:11) No. (47:11) No. (47:11) Let people understand now.
Jen (47:13) Okay. (47:14) Got it.
Scott Bennner (47:14) Saint John. (47:15) By the way, my brother got married on Saint John.
Jen (47:18) Really? (47:18) That's cool. (47:19) Yeah.
Scott Bennner (47:19) Yep. (47:20) I vacationed there on a couple of times. (47:21) There's actually I don't think I'm I should say this, but a fairly popular diabetes doctor, I think their daughter runs a charter boat on Saint John.
Jen (47:32) No way.
Scott Bennner (47:32) I just like I won't say who that is out of, like, you
Jen (47:35) know Yeah. (47:35) Yeah. (47:35) Yeah. (47:35) That's awesome.
Scott Bennner (47:36) Beautiful little island, like, flying to Saint Thomas, take the ferry over.
Jen (47:41) Mhmm. (47:41) The ferry. (47:42) Oh, yeah. (47:43) It's great.
Scott Bennner (47:43) Maybe maybe rent a Jeep if you're gonna move around. (47:45) If not, like, plop yourself into a house and just wander in
Jen (47:48) the beach. (47:49) Totally gotta have a Jeep because it's so hilly.
Scott Bennner (47:51) But Great island.
Jen (47:52) Yeah. (47:52) Twenty years ago when I was there, it was not touristy. (47:55) It was just really pretty, really nice.
Scott Bennner (47:58) I I mean, I haven't been there for a handful of years, but it's still it's just too small to be touristy. (48:02) And you have to,
Jen (48:03) like Is that what it is?
Scott Bennner (48:04) Yes. (48:04) Ends It's the effort. (48:05) You have to you have to I mean, you have to put your butt on a ferry and go across, and it's just not a thing people like, people get to Saint Thomas. (48:12) They're like, this is good. (48:13) I'll stay here.
Jen (48:13) This is good enough.
Scott Bennner (48:14) Right? (48:15) Yeah. (48:15) But, man Yeah. (48:16) Just really awesome. (48:17) I am going back to the Virgin Islands.
Scott Bennner (48:19) The cruise I'm doing in June makes a stop and I think sync hits. (48:24) I'm excited to go back.
Jen (48:25) No. (48:25) I'm going. (48:26) We're going on the cruise.
Scott Bennner (48:27) Oh, wait. (48:27) You're on the you're yeah. (48:28) You'll be there. (48:28) True. (48:29) Yeah.
Scott Bennner (48:29) Yeah.
Jen (48:29) Yeah. (48:29) I'm totally on the cruise. (48:30) Yep. (48:30) We're excited.
Scott Bennner (48:31) Well, then I'll see you then.
Jen (48:32) Yeah. (48:33) You'll get to meet the gens.
Scott Bennner (48:34) Yeah. (48:34) That's that's that that'll be awesome. (48:35) Oh, look at us.
Jen (48:36) Yeah. (48:36) See? (48:37) I know.
Scott Bennner (48:37) Oh, you're bring this full circle.
Jen (48:40) Yep. (48:40) So we are excited. (48:41) That'd be fun.
Scott Bennner (48:42) Good. (48:42) I am too. (48:43) Alright. (48:43) Great. (48:43) Well, if anybody wants to come along and meet the gens, juice cruise twenty twenty six is at juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise.
Scott Bennner (48:52) So Yes. (48:53) Alright. (48:53) Cool. (48:53) Thank you. (48:53) Hold on one second for me.
Jen (48:55) Okay. (48:55) Thanks, Scott.
Scott Bennner (49:02) The podcast episode that you just enjoyed was sponsored by Eversense CGM. (49:07) They make the Eversense three sixty five. (49:10) That thing lasts a whole year. (49:12) One insertion. (49:14) Every year?
Scott Bennner (49:15) Come on. (49:15) You probably feel like I'm messing with you, but I'm not. (49:18) Eversensecgm.com/juicebox. (49:24) The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by US Med. (49:28) Usmed.com/juicebox or call (888) 721-1514.
Scott Bennner (49:34) Get started today and get your supplies from US Med. (49:40) Head now to tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox and check out today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care. (49:47) I think you're gonna find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the Tandem Mobi system. (49:56) Okay. (49:56) Well, here we are at the end of the episode.
Scott Bennner (49:58) You're still with me? (49:59) Thank you. (50:00) I really do appreciate that. (50:01) What else could you do for me? (50:03) Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review?
Scott Bennner (50:07) Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribe in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me or Instagram, TikTok. (50:16) Oh, gosh. (50:17) Here's one. (50:18) Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page. (50:24) You don't wanna miss please, do you not know about the private group?
Scott Bennner (50:28) You have to join the private group. (50:29) As of this recording, it has 74,000 members. (50:32) They're active talking about diabetes. (50:35) Whatever you need to know, there's a conversation happening in there right now. (50:39) And I'm there all the time.
Scott Bennner (50:40) Tag me. (50:41) I'll say hi. (50:43) How would you like to share a type one diabetes getaway like no other? (50:47) Join me on Juice Cruise twenty twenty six. (50:50) You may be asking, what is Juice Cruise?
Scott Bennner (50:51) It's a week long cruise designed specifically for people and families living with type one diabetes. (50:57) It's not just a vacation. (50:58) It's a chance to relax, connect, and feel understood in a way that is hard to find elsewhere. (51:04) We're gonna sail out of Miami, and the cruise includes stops in CocoCay, San Juan, Saint Kitts, and Nevis aboard the stunning Celebrity Beyond. (51:13) This ship is chosen for its comfort, accessibility, and exceptional amenities.
Scott Bennner (51:18) You're gonna enjoy a welcoming environment surrounded by others who get life with type one diabetes. (51:24) I'm gonna host diabetes focused conversations and meetups on the days at sea. (51:29) There's thoughtfully designed spaces, incredible dining, and modern amenities all throughout the celebrity beyond. (51:36) Your kids can be supervised, there's teen programs so everyone gets time to recharge. (51:42) Not just the the kids going on vacation, but maybe you get the kickback a little bit too.
Scott Bennner (51:46) There's gonna be zero judgment, real connections, and a whole lot of sun and fun on Juice Cruise twenty twenty six. (51:52) Please come with me. (51:53) You're going to have a terrific time. (51:56) You can learn more or set up your deposit at juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise. (52:01) Get ahold of Suzanne at cruise planners.
Scott Bennner (52:03) She will take care of everything. (52:05) Link's in the show notes. (52:06) Link's at juiceboxpodcast.com. (52:08) If you'd like to hear about diabetes management in easy to take in bits, check out the small sips. (52:15) That's the series on the juice box podcast that listeners are talking about like it's a cheat code.
Scott Bennner (52:20) These are perfect little bursts of clarity, one person said. (52:23) I finally understood things I've heard a 100 times. (52:26) Short, simple, and somehow exactly what I needed. (52:29) People say small sips feels like someone pulling up a chair, sliding a cup across the table, and giving you one clean idea at a time. (52:37) Nothing overwhelming, no fire hose of information, just steady helpful nudges that actually stick.
Scott Bennner (52:43) People listen in their car, on walks, or rather actually bolus ing anytime that they need a quick shot of perspective. (52:50) And the reviews, they all say the same thing. (52:53) Small sips makes diabetes make sense. (52:56) Search for the Juice Box podcast, small sips, wherever you get audio. (53:00) Have a podcast?
Scott Bennner (53:02) Want it to sound fantastic? (53:03) Wrongwayrecording.com.
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#1782 Charlotte Must Hate You - Part 1
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
Jen recounts her T1D diagnosis at age 29 and opens up about the emotional challenges of navigating family dynamics lacking understanding and support.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner (0:00) Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of the Juice Box podcast. (0:04) Welcome.
Jen (0:14) Well alright. (0:15) Well, hey, everybody. (0:16) I'm Jen, and I'm a type one. (0:19) I was diagnosed when I was 29, and I'm now 52.
Scott Benner (0:24) If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify, really any audio app at all. (0:33) Look for the Juice Box podcast and follow or subscribe. (0:36) We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. (0:40) Wanna learn more about your diabetes management? (0:42) Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and look for bold beginnings, the diabetes pro tip series, and much more.
Scott Benner (0:49) This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. (0:57) How would you like to share a type one diabetes getaway like no other? (1:01) Join me on Juice Cruise 2026. (1:03) You may be asking, what is Juice Cruise? (1:05) It's a week long cruise designed specifically for people and families living with type one diabetes.
Scott Benner (1:10) It's not just a vacation. (1:12) It's a chance to relax, connect, and feel understood in a way that is hard to find elsewhere. (1:17) We're gonna sail out of Miami, and the cruise includes stops in CocoCay, San Juan, Saint Kitts, Nevis aboard the stunning Celebrity Beyond. (1:27) This ship is chosen for its comfort, accessibility, and exceptional amenities. (1:32) You're gonna enjoy a welcoming environment surrounded by others who get life with type one diabetes.
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Scott Benner (2:06) Please come with me. (2:07) You're going to have a terrific time. (2:09) You can learn more or set up your deposit at juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise. (2:15) Get ahold of Suzanne at cruise planners. (2:17) She will take care of everything.
Scott Benner (2:19) Link's in the show notes. (2:20) Link's at juiceboxpodcast.com. (2:23) Nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. (2:27) Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. (2:33) This episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by US Med, usmed.com/juicebox, or call (888) 721-1514.
Scott Benner (2:44) Get your supplies the same way we do from US Med. (2:48) Today's episode is also sponsored by Omnipod five. (2:52) Omnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a one c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections. (3:04) Learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox. (3:08) At my link, you can get a free starter kit right now.
Scott Benner (3:11) Terms and conditions apply. (3:12) Eligibility may vary. (3:14) Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox.
Jen (3:18) Well alright. (3:19) Well, hey, everybody. (3:20) I'm Jen, and I'm a type one. (3:23) I was diagnosed when I was 29, and I'm now 52. (3:28) And so I'm pretty sure that was twenty three years ago Wow.
Jen (3:30) If I'm doing my math right. (3:31) Yes. (3:32) So
Scott Benner (3:33) It sounds right to me.
Jen (3:34) Here today.
Scott Benner (3:34) Because if I get 29, I add 10, I get 39. (3:37) Then I add 10 more, I get 49. (3:39) Then I start counting by ones. (3:40) So I get 20, and then I go 5051, 52. (3:44) That's three.
Scott Benner (3:44) I add the 20 and the three together, I get 23.
Jen (3:46) Yay. (3:47) Okay.
Scott Benner (3:47) It's that easy. (3:49) People might have thought because of your southern accent, you couldn't add, but that would just be a rude, rude misconception.
Jen (3:54) Wouldn't that be so rude? (3:55) I know. (3:56) Mhmm. (3:56) I know. (3:57) I am worried about the accent, but you tell me if you don't understand something I'm saying.
Scott Benner (4:01) You think I'm not gonna understand something you're saying?
Jen (4:03) Well, it may be something well, I wanted to say this to you. (4:07) You know, when you say very, like very Mhmm. (4:10) You you use a u. (4:11) You're like very. (4:12) And then I just think it's really cute.
Jen (4:14) I just want you to you to know that.
Scott Benner (4:15) Well, thank you. (4:16) I don't
Jen (4:16) You're very welcome.
Scott Benner (4:17) I have no idea what I'm doing.
Jen (4:19) I do. (4:20) But, like, you always say very, like, v u r y instead of very.
Scott Benner (4:24) You sound you sound like I'm checking into a hotel on my way to visit somebody in the South.
Jen (4:29) Exactly.
Scott Benner (4:30) I want you to tell me that there's a warm cookie in my room right now.
Jen (4:34) For sure.
Scott Benner (4:36) Born and raised there? (4:38) You?
Jen (4:39) Yeah. (4:39) I'm in yeah. (4:40) I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. (4:41) And so I was I grew up in a small town outside of Charlotte. (4:45) So
Scott Benner (4:46) You were born there? (4:47) Yes. (4:48) Are you guys tired of our people coming and overtaking your state?
Jen (4:52) Tired of it. (4:52) It's ridiculous. (4:54) Yes. (4:54) I'm so tired of it.
Scott Benner (4:56) Can I tell you? (4:56) No kidding. (4:57) People I've known, like, my whole, like, adult life, like, kids played softball with my daughter and baseball with my son and they're just fantastic people. (5:07) And one day, a for sale sign goes up in the yard. (5:10) And I stopped by and I go, what what what's happening?
Scott Benner (5:13) You know, I'm I'm like, if you leave, what does that mean? (5:16) I I gotta go. (5:17) You know? (5:18) And there's a note where their last kid they have four kids. (5:22) Their last one is playing softball in North Carolina.
Scott Benner (5:25) And they're like, we're just gonna move there and go to softball games for a couple of years until she graduates because she's been down there for a little while already.
Jen (5:33) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (5:33) And, then we think we're gonna stay.
Jen (5:35) Wow.
Scott Benner (5:36) And I said, it seems kinda quick. (5:39) They said, not just quick. (5:40) We have to move into an apartment. (5:41) We don't have a place to live.
Jen (5:44) That's funny.
Scott Benner (5:45) I go, where are you gonna move to? (5:46) Like, you know, you must you know the area, obviously. (5:48) No. (5:49) No. (5:49) We have a friend that moved there, said this one area is pretty nice.
Scott Benner (5:52) We're just gonna go there, rent an apartment, then we'll look around and find a house later.
Jen (5:55) Wow.
Scott Benner (5:55) And I was like, the people of North Carolina must hate you.
Jen (5:59) Wait. (5:59) Yeah. (5:59) Well, it's it's like Charlotte doesn't look the same at all. (6:03) Like, ten year and just in the last ten years, it's changed so much. (6:06) So
Scott Benner (6:07) I wouldn't imagine. (6:08) Yeah. (6:08) Well okay. (6:09) Well, I don't know what to do. (6:10) I can't I mean, I can command everyone to come back, but I don't think they're gonna listen.
Jen (6:14) I don't think so either. (6:16) It's okay. (6:17) It's okay.
Scott Benner (6:17) In fairness, I was looking at a house in Tennessee the other day. (6:20) So What? (6:22) Yeah. (6:23) It's a very reasonable tax situation in Tennessee. (6:25) I don't know if you're under
Jen (6:26) It is fair better, but it's definitely humid here. (6:28) I know I don't like humidity. (6:29) So
Scott Benner (6:30) But I gotta decide what do I like better, humidity or money? (6:33) You know? (6:34) Or
Jen (6:34) snow. (6:35) Mhmm. (6:36) Yeah.
Scott Benner (6:36) Anyway, I'm seriously considering it. (6:38) There's no there's no income tax in Tennessee.
Jen (6:42) Oh, I didn't know that.
Scott Benner (6:43) Uh-huh. (6:44) No. (6:44) Think about how much money you make, and then think about how much money you pay in income tax to the state, and then decide what would that be like if it was yours.
Jen (6:51) Yeah. (6:52) So when you're sitting in the humidity in July, you go, I'm saving money.
Scott Benner (6:55) You know, like that money and and turn the air conditioner on with it. (6:58) That's what I was gonna do. (6:59) Anyway
Jen (7:00) alright. (7:01) I love it. (7:02) Okay.
Scott Benner (7:02) 20 not you know, is a an interesting age. (7:06) You would think you felt probably pretty settled. (7:08) Had you had other health issues leading up to that, or was it just like a bell rang and you had diabetes?
Jen (7:14) Yeah. (7:15) I had really no issues before then. (7:18) I had no seasonal allergies. (7:20) Started about age 18.
Scott Benner (7:22) Mhmm.
Jen (7:22) So what? (7:23) Eleven years of that? (7:24) That's really it. (7:26) And so I remember when, like, the weekend before I was diagnosed, I was I felt sick, but I didn't have a fever. (7:36) You know?
Jen (7:36) I was like, I'm I'm not sick, but I'm sick. (7:39) And it was Memorial weekend, I remember. (7:42) And I remember I had a chance to go out on a boat. (7:45) Yeah. (7:46) And I didn't feel like going on a boat.
Jen (7:47) I'm like, something's wrong with me. (7:48) And and I was like, no. (7:50) I just don't have the energy. (7:51) And back in the day, in 2002, we still had Blockbuster. (7:55) So I thought, you know what?
Jen (7:56) I'm gonna go to Blockbuster. (7:57) I'm gonna rent some movies, you know, and because I'm so old. (8:00) You know? (8:01) And I remember driving, and all of a sudden, I couldn't see. (8:05) I couldn't read the street sign.
Jen (8:06) Like, it was blurry. (8:07) And I went, oh my god. (8:08) This is weird. (8:09) And and I also, like, on that little excursion, I remember I went to Target just to grab grab a couple things. (8:17) And I've always been really healthy, never drank sodas, anything like that.
Jen (8:21) And I look in the aisle, and there's a Mountain Dew code red. (8:25) And I went, oh my god. (8:27) I've gotta have this thing. (8:28) And I never had anything like that before. (8:31) So I'm, like, in the car in the parking lot.
Jen (8:33) I'm down on this Mountain Dew. (8:35) And that weekend, I had a whole gallon of milk by myself. (8:37) I had a whole thing of orange juice by myself. (8:40) I lived with my sister at the time, so it was just me and her. (8:43) And and so, I mean, I'm drinking all this, you know, just the normal stuff.
Jen (8:47) And I remember about three weeks prior to this, I was losing weight. (8:51) I'm like, dang. (8:52) I'm starting to look good. (8:53) Like, you know, like, I could see my muscles, you know, and all this stuff. (8:56) And I had just started playing tennis in May, you know, April, May, and I thought, wow.
Jen (9:00) Tennis. (9:01) Where has it been my whole life? (9:02) This is what I should have been doing this whole time.
Scott Benner (9:05) The missing ingredient.
Jen (9:06) Missing ingredient is tennis. (9:08) Tennis and
Scott Benner (9:08) Mountain Dew.
Jen (9:10) And Mountain Dew. (9:11) And so, anyway, so I remember, you know, I lost the weight. (9:15) I'm eating really, you know, a lot. (9:16) I'm like, this is great. (9:18) Tennis you know, again, tennis is a thing.
Jen (9:20) And and so then I'm back to the weekend. (9:23) I'm drinking all this, you know, using the bathroom all the time, the whole thing. (9:26) And then I I don't know. (9:29) I had this this suspicion when I put it all together. (9:32) I didn't know anyone's any anyone with diabetes.
Jen (9:35) And I thought, do I have diabetes? (9:37) And I'm like, why would I think that? (9:39) And then I remembered I have a friend who grew up with a type one, and I remember her talking about her years ago. (9:45) And I thought, So I called my friend, and she I talked to her about it. (9:50) She goes, it does sound very interesting.
Jen (9:52) You know? (9:53) I think you need to talk to my friend Gina who lived in Charlotte where I live. (9:57) And so I was like, okay. (9:59) So the next morning, I went to this stranger's house and, you know, I don't know, ten minutes down the road, and she had texted me and said, don't eat anything. (10:09) Don't you know, like, just come over to my house.
Jen (10:11) And it was, like, 08:30 in the morning. (10:12) I'm like, okay. (10:13) So I go over to her house. (10:14) It was a Monday morning, and she checks my blood sugar. (10:18) And I think it was, like, upper three hundreds, 400.
Jen (10:21) I don't know. (10:21) And it was I was fasting. (10:23) And she looked at me, and I still remember. (10:26) She looked at me. (10:27) She looked down and she looked at me.
Jen (10:28) She said, I'm sorry to say, but you've got type one diabetes. (10:33) And I went, what? (10:34) And, you know, I didn't even know what it meant, obviously. (10:37) And she said, uh-huh. (10:38) And I'm going to I want you to leave your car here at my house, and I'm gonna take you to the ER.
Jen (10:43) And I'm with the ER. (10:45) And she goes, mhmm. (10:46) And she said, I can smell your I know I know you don't understand this, but your breath is fruity. (10:51) And so that's telling me you need to go to the hospital. (10:55) Right?
Jen (10:55) I'm like, what? (10:56) And, I mean, I was on my way. (10:57) I was a a server. (10:59) I was a waitress at the time. (11:00) I'm like, I'm on my way to work.
Jen (11:01) I gotta shift to work. (11:02) Shoot. (11:02) I gotta lunch to work. (11:03) And she's like, no. (11:04) No.
Jen (11:04) No. (11:04) You're not going into work. (11:06) So that's how it started, how I ended up in the hospital in the ER. (11:11) And I remember, you know, in the ER, the doctors I'm sure they were residents. (11:16) This is a teaching hospital, but they came in and they I remember them saying, you're too skinny to be a type two.
Jen (11:24) I mean, oh, yeah. (11:25) Type two, but you're too old to be type one. (11:28) And I'm like, okay. (11:29) Cool. (11:29) You know?
Jen (11:30) And then finally, I they, you know, they finally said I don't know what they did to test it, obviously. (11:37) I don't I didn't understand anything back then, but they did finally decide I was a type one. (11:41) I had to spend the night, the whole thing. (11:44) And so part of the reason I wanted to come on this podcast, one, because I love this podcast. (11:48) And when I signed up months ago, you were, like, looking for people, and that's, you know, that's really I was like, oh, well, I have a story.
Jen (11:54) I can tell it. (11:55) But I feel like being an adult, single, you're I'm old enough to kind of, you know, be on my own, but I was clueless. (12:04) There was hardly any support for me. (12:07) I was in the hospital. (12:08) I was in for a day.
Jen (12:10) I remember they came in with the orange and the syringe and made sure I could do that. (12:15) And the doc I think the endo came in and talked to me and said, these are the pins you're gonna take home. (12:21) And all I remember is, you know I I just remember going, I don't know what to eat. (12:26) You know, like, I was so afraid to go home.
Scott Benner (12:29) Yeah.
Jen (12:29) But I did. (12:30) I went home, obviously. (12:32) And like I said, I was waiting tables, no insurance. (12:37) It was not good, but that's how it started out. (12:40) So it was very, very scary
Scott Benner (12:42) Wow.
Jen (12:43) To try to manage.
Scott Benner (12:44) Did that stranger stay with you in the hospital, or did they go, okay. (12:47) Well, goodbye.
Jen (12:48) Oh, yeah. (12:49) That's a good point. (12:49) She did stay with me.
Scott Benner (12:50) Very nice.
Jen (12:51) Yeah. (12:52) Until
Scott Benner (12:53) Your sister.
Jen (12:53) My family got there. (12:54) Yeah. (12:55) I've got three sisters. (12:56) They showed up. (12:57) My mom, my dad, they all showed up.
Jen (12:59) You know, everybody showed up in the ER, and they were very supportive and were with me. (13:03) And then Gina, the lady who helped me, she obviously left because, you know, she's like, I think you're good now. (13:10) You know?
Scott Benner (13:10) I I was just testing your blood sugar for a friend. (13:13) I didn't I
Jen (13:14) wasn't really planning on being in the ER all day.
Scott Benner (13:17) I wasn't looking for all this, but I am gonna go to I am gonna head over to the the Red Lobster and pick up a shift. (13:22) So Exactly. (13:23) Right? (13:24) I I they're looking for people.
Jen (13:25) Oh my god.
Scott Benner (13:26) Wow. (13:26) That's and that does that feel like it just happened, or does it feel like a million years ago?
Jen (13:31) Both. (13:32) It feels like a different lifetime. (13:34) You know? (13:35) Like, I I don't know. (13:36) It just feels almost like a dream back then, but I can remember every second of it at the same time.
Jen (13:42) I remember I remember being in the hospital, and my you know, it's sort of like our pattern. (13:48) My sisters and I, we laugh a lot, which is a great thing, obviously. (13:52) And I remember the doctors coming in going, y'all were, like, the happiest people. (13:55) Like, you're the happiest type one I've ever met. (13:57) You know?
Jen (13:57) Like, because we were just laughing and, you know, just they were trying to keep me upbeat. (14:02) And I think I was in shock, and, of course, my blood sugars are high, I'm not thinking clearly. (14:07) Yeah. (14:07) And I didn't really know what anything meant, but I do remember that. (14:11) You know, there was just a lot of laughter, laughter, a lot of
Scott Benner (14:13) Support.
Jen (14:14) You know, oh, dear. (14:15) How are we gonna handle this? (14:16) There was support, but I think that's all they knew to do, which was great.
Scott Benner (14:19) What what is it? (14:20) Both your parents are they together at that point?
Jen (14:23) They they divorced when I was 13, 14.
Scott Benner (14:27) Which one comes to the hospital?
Jen (14:29) They both came.
Scott Benner (14:30) They both did. (14:30) Yeah. (14:31) But it must have been fun.
Jen (14:32) Yeah. (14:33) Well, they actually get along fine. (14:34) You know? (14:35) They yep. (14:36) There's they're very civil.
Jen (14:37) We still do holidays together, believe it or not. (14:39) But yeah. (14:41) So they were fine. (14:42) Yep. (14:42) And and everything.
Scott Benner (14:45) Do you ever have any conversations with them? (14:46) Like, either of them, honestly. (14:48) Like, you're 29. (14:49) You're, you know, pretty you know? (14:51) Like you said, it it's interesting.
Scott Benner (14:52) Like, you're grown, but in your mind, you're like, I'm I'm not that grown. (14:56) I don't know a lot still.
Jen (14:57) Right.
Scott Benner (14:58) You know? (14:58) But do your parents feel like, did they slip back into being parents? (15:03) Or do they just go like, well, good luck. (15:05) Let us know how it goes? (15:06) Or do they feel like, gosh, do you need help?
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Jen (16:31) it works.
Scott Benner (16:31) And I picked it up. (16:32) I was like, hello? (16:33) And it was just the recording. (16:34) It was like, US Med, doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying. (16:37) It said, hey, you're, I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, hey, your order's ready.
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Jen (17:29) They did not. (17:30) They I love my parents. (17:32) They're young parents. (17:33) They're only twenty years older than me. (17:34) So and I'm the oldest, so I've always been very responsible.
Jen (17:37) Mhmm. (17:38) So they're kinda like, oh, good. (17:39) It's Jen got diabetes. (17:41) You're not the other three. (17:42) Yeah.
Jen (17:42) She'll be fine.
Scott Benner (17:43) And, god, it wasn't that one. (17:45) Oh my god.
Jen (17:46) Wasn't that one.
Scott Benner (17:46) Yeah. (17:47) Yeah. (17:47) Get in trouble.
Jen (17:48) Yeah. (17:48) So I had been my own parents since I was, like, 12 or 10 or whatever. (17:53) So I see. (17:53) No. (17:54) They and they so they love me, but they still even twenty three years later, that's part of what I wanted to mention on this too.
Jen (18:01) I don't wanna bounce around too much.
Scott Benner (18:02) But You're fine.
Jen (18:03) Part of my the hard part of this is feeling even though I have this community and I'm on the Facebook group and the whole thing, I still feel very alone within my family. (18:14) Mhmm. (18:15) You know? (18:15) And, like, one sister's gluten free and has been for about the same amount of time as me, you know, the twenty years or whatever. (18:22) And they're all they're knocking over the door to make her a gluten free, you know, meal or dessert or whatever.
Jen (18:29) And for me, they're not doing anything. (18:31) Even when I was new into this, you know, not knowing what I was doing or how to use insulin. (18:35) Yeah. (18:36) You know? (18:36) So that hurts a little bit.
Jen (18:37) I'm like, her stomach just hurts. (18:39) I could die. (18:40) You know? (18:40) So
Scott Benner (18:41) Do you think are they they just feel like you have the sugars? (18:45) Is it, like, oversimplified?
Jen (18:47) They're not that ignorant. (18:48) No. (18:49) They know. (18:49) But I think it's just, unfortunately, I've always been so responsible. (18:54) Oh.
Jen (18:54) And I will admit, I, you know, I I like I mean, I like people thinking I'm responsible, so that's part of it. (19:01) I don't ask for help a lot, and and it's hard for me to admit when I need help. (19:06) And so I that I'm part of the problem, and I do admit that. (19:11) And I know that about my personality.
Scott Benner (19:12) It's partially that they think, oh, Jen's got this. (19:17) She's always got it. (19:18) But it's also because they probably learned to be okay with that because you kept them at arm's length at times?
Jen (19:23) Yes.
Scott Benner (19:24) Okay.
Jen (19:24) For sure. (19:25) Yeah. (19:25) Yeah. (19:25) Yeah. (19:25) For sure.
Jen (19:26) And I didn't want to burden anybody, you know, because it's it's like, being type one, it's sort of like your whole life, but you don't wanna make it your whole life. (19:35) You know? (19:36) Because it's not. (19:36) It is and it's not. (19:38) And so it's it's like, I don't know in the beginning, and still, I don't wanna over talk about it, but sometimes I do wanna talk about it because it's a you know, I go through stuff.
Jen (19:49) And then when I try to talk about it or, like, the other day over the holiday, I had to change I wear the Omnipod Dash, and I use the Trio system. (19:59) And so I I my sugars were going up, and I'm like, oh, shoot. (20:03) I I I this is about the end of this pod. (20:05) I probably need to go ahead and change it. (20:06) So we're all sitting around playing games, and I just pull out my pod and my insulin and the whole thing.
Jen (20:13) And my nine year old nephew is looking and, you know, wondering kinda what I'm doing. (20:19) And I've shown him before, but I was trying to explain it to him. (20:21) This is my insulin pump and the insulin and blah blah blah. (20:26) And he was listening a little bit, but the rest of the family, I don't know. (20:29) They just sort of go, whatever.
Jen (20:31) It's no big deal. (20:33) And and I had some family members that aren't my immediate family were there, and I said, yeah, guys. (20:39) I could if I don't have this insulin, I could die in a day or two. (20:42) Know, I was just trying to be and they were just like,
Scott Benner (20:44) Okay. (20:44) Fascinating.
Jen (20:45) And fat no. (20:46) They just kept going. (20:47) And I'm like, seriously? (20:48) And I just had the big the next day, I just cried and cried and cried to my wife. (20:54) And I was like, I know I sound like a big baby, but it just hurts sometimes when something is, I don't know, so important and yet it's also in the background.
Jen (21:05) And it I don't know. (21:05) So I have this weird relationship with diabetes and my family. (21:09) And so I
Scott Benner (21:10) you know? (21:11) Let's pick let's pick through it a a second. (21:13) So Yeah. (21:13) Yeah. (21:13) You have a weird relationship with diabetes, which means
Jen (21:16) Yes.
Scott Benner (21:16) You don't want it to be anything people think about, but it would be nice if somebody thought about it once in a while.
Jen (21:23) Ridiculous. (21:23) Right? (21:24) But yes.
Scott Benner (21:24) No. (21:24) I I I understand what you're saying. (21:26) You don't wanna be begging for it, but it would be nice if once in a while they looked over you. (21:30) I so I'll share. (21:33) Right?
Scott Benner (21:34) The other day
Jen (21:36) Mhmm. (21:36) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (21:37) I I don't know. (21:39) Jen, listen. (21:40) I don't get high. (21:42) I don't drink. (21:43) I don't cheat.
Scott Benner (21:44) I don't hit people. (21:45) Like, all the stuff that happen I hear people's lives every day. (21:49) Like, I get up, I do the thing I'm supposed to do, I save money, I plan for the future, I put people before me. (21:56) I'm in the middle of doing something. (21:58) Arden says to me, hey, can you come here?
Scott Benner (22:00) I drop what I'm doing. (22:01) I go with her. (22:02) My son says to me last night, I gotta go to the airport for my job. (22:05) I said, when do you gotta leave? (22:07) He said, 05:30AM.
Scott Benner (22:09) No problem. (22:09) Went to bed early, got up at five, was there waiting for him at 05:30, got in the car, drove him an hour to the airport, drove an hour back. (22:17) I'm gonna go back and pick him up again tomorrow night. (22:19) I don't think twice about it. (22:20) Wow.
Scott Benner (22:21) I don't expect them to say thank you. (22:23) I don't want them to say thank you. (22:25) I believe that I am being myself in this situation. (22:29) However, I look at the rest of the world once in a while, and I think, you're all pretty lucky. (22:35) This is who I am.
Scott Benner (22:36) I I don't need you to tell me. (22:37) I don't even want you to tell me, but goddamn, no one ever says it. (22:41) Is that how you feel? (22:42) Is that how you feel? (22:43) Yes.
Jen (22:43) Yes. (22:43) It's exactly how I feel. (22:44) Yeah. (22:44) And, you know, I your kids are so lucky. (22:48) Those They're
Scott Benner (22:49) so Yeah. (22:50) Goddamn right. (22:51) Well, I hope they're listening.
Jen (22:52) Oh, I do too. (22:54) Shame on them for not listening. (22:55) Yeah.
Scott Benner (22:56) I need the downloads. (22:57) What's their problem?
Jen (22:57) Seriously, dudes. (22:58) Come on. (22:59) But yeah. (23:00) So, like, when I first started listening, my friend Kelly, she was on your podcast, talked about Afrezza Mhmm. (23:05) About a year ago.
Jen (23:06) But, anyway, she told me about you about two years ago. (23:09) I never even once thought about listening to a diabetes podcast. (23:12) I don't know why, but I didn't. (23:13) And now I'm obsessed. (23:14) But I started she said, the pro series a thousand to a 25 or whatever.
Jen (23:18) I'm like, okay. (23:19) And so I did it. (23:20) But at the time when I listened, I was on Afrezza. (23:24) And, you know, you know, you're not big on Afrezza. (23:27) And so like, well, this has nothing to do with me.
Jen (23:29) He's talking about prebolasane and having to worry about insulin being in your system when you exercise, and that had that's not how it is with Afrezza.
Scott Benner (23:36) Right.
Jen (23:36) And so I'm like, ugh. (23:38) And I tried, but I just I I couldn't get a whole lot out of it. (23:42) And and so I was a little bit resentful that there was nothing else besides normal insulin. (23:47) And then I heard how good you what a good parent you are. (23:51) And I'm like, dang it.
Jen (23:53) Like because we're, the same age. (23:54) You're, like, a year older than me. (23:56) And I'm like, I want him to I don't want you to be my dad, but I want you to have a dad like you. (24:00) You know? (24:00) And I'm like, wow.
Jen (24:01) Those kids have no idea what this man does for him, for them.
Scott Benner (24:06) Jen, my point is is that I and I mean this genuinely. (24:09) I'm not looking for anybody to say thank you.
Jen (24:11) Not. (24:12) I know you're not. (24:12) I I understand that. (24:14) I know that's not why you do it. (24:15) But every once in a while
Scott Benner (24:17) Right.
Jen (24:17) Thank you, dad. (24:19) Thanks.
Scott Benner (24:19) And I'm not gonna say it doesn't every like, I wasn't where was I with Cole recently? (24:24) And he Cole said something that made me realize he's didn't say it, say it, but what he was saying was, man, I recognize that making that podcast as big as it is is pretty extraordinary. (24:38) Like, he kind of gave me that for a half because he didn't use all the words, but he get like, he gave it to me. (24:42) And I was like, oh, he's proud of me, And that's nice. (24:44) You know what I mean?
Scott Benner (24:45) Like or he recognizes what hard work does or being diligent, you know, whatever. (24:50) Mhmm. (24:51) But, yeah, I don't know I don't know. (24:53) Like so my point is this, is that I think I feel like I understand what you're saying, which is I do my thing. (25:01) I take care of my diabetes.
Scott Benner (25:02) I don't want it to be my whole life. (25:04) I am not even looking for you to mention it, but, man, there are moments when how come you can't see how much I need you to say you're doing a great job? (25:15) Or, wow. (25:15) That is really something, Jen. (25:17) We're all over yucking it up playing Yahtzee, and you're strapping your man made, you know, pancreas on.
Scott Benner (25:23) So my question to you is, so you've ever said that to anybody? (25:26) Mm-mm. (25:27) Like, how would they know? (25:29) If you're projecting strength all the time and I got it, I got it, I got it, why would they think you needed, like, the that a boy?
Jen (25:36) Yeah. (25:36) I knew you're gonna ask that. (25:38) But well okay. (25:39) So indirectly because, you know, I'm southern. (25:41) We we're indirect.
Jen (25:42) I, you know, I have the supplies out. (25:44) And so it's sort of like to me, I'm like, hey. (25:48) I'm showing it to you. (25:49) I'm not in a bathroom. (25:51) You know what I mean?
Jen (25:52) Like, I'm not over here, like, hiding this. (25:54) And so I feel like Mhmm. (25:58) That is a perfect time for just just for them to ask to have some curiosity. (26:02) That's all I'm ask you know, like, to ask about it.
Scott Benner (26:05) What's southern passive aggressiveness called? (26:07) Does it have a name?
Jen (26:09) I don't know. (26:10) What it called
Scott Benner (26:11) What is it called when you guys go, oh, bless your heart?
Jen (26:14) Bless their heart.
Scott Benner (26:15) Yeah. (26:15) What is that? (26:15) What what is that? (26:16) That's
Jen (26:17) That's just us being very sarcastic. (26:19) Okay. (26:19) Like, we're saying bless your I don't really say that, but bless your heart, and we're really judging you at the same you know, we're really judging you, but we're saying, well, bless them.
Scott Benner (26:27) Yeah. (26:27) Look at this idiot. (26:28) Is that what that means?
Jen (26:29) This idiot. (26:29) Yeah. (26:30) It means, oh my god. (26:31) They are so ridiculous. (26:32) Yes.
Jen (26:33) Yes. (26:34) So I understand. (26:36) I I I guess okay. (26:37) This is what I have done. (26:38) K?
Scott Benner (26:38) Go ahead.
Jen (26:39) Okay. (26:39) Okay. (26:39) One sister who's two years younger than me, I have asked her to follow me. (26:43) Okay? (26:44) Like, she and my wife follow me.
Scott Benner (26:46) Okay.
Jen (26:46) And she started doing that because my wife used to, you know, leave for two weeks for work, and I'd be by myself. (26:52) Mhmm. (26:53) And they were worried about me, and so my sister Jill would would follow me. (26:58) And it it you know, and so every once in while, she'll text me and say, hey. (27:03) You're heading straight down.
Jen (27:04) Are you good? (27:05) You know? (27:05) And so That's beautiful. (27:06) I do like that. (27:07) I really do appreciate that.
Jen (27:09) She's probably the one family member that's really made some sort of effort about it. (27:15) But if I really start not complaining, but talking about the hard parts of it, she will will shut me down. (27:23) Like, oh my god. (27:24) You're complaining. (27:25) Or Mhmm.
Jen (27:26) You know what? (27:26) I don't know how to explain it, but it's it's like they want me to be responsible. (27:31) They want me to be okay. (27:32) And when I'm not okay,
Scott Benner (27:34) prefer if you shut up and kept it to yourself.
Jen (27:36) Yes. (27:36) Yes. (27:37) They don't know how to handle that because this is the dynamic. (27:39) Jen's okay all the time.
Scott Benner (27:41) Does she have any health issues?
Jen (27:43) She's the one that has the, gluten intolerance, but that's it.
Scott Benner (27:47) Do you ever do you let her talk about that with you? (27:49) Like, if she starts complaining about that, do you go, oh, come on. (27:51) Your stomach just hurts, do you
Jen (27:53) Of course, I listen to her. (27:54) Yes. (27:55) I listen. (27:55) I I give what I wanna receive. (27:57) So yes.
Jen (27:58) And I listen to her recipes that she bakes and all the things, and I try her stuff and say, wow. (28:03) Can't even tell it's gluten free. (28:05) Yes. (28:06) Mhmm. (28:06) Very, very, very supportive.
Jen (28:08) And I'll talk to her about, wow. (28:09) It must be hard when you travel, if it's just salads or you know, like, I try to I do. (28:14) I just try to do do that. (28:16) And you're right. (28:16) I could literally just say to my family, hey, guys.
Jen (28:21) Every once in a while, if you wanna ask about my diabetes, that would be great with me. (28:26) You know, I I guess I could say that. (28:28) I feel like that is so vulnerable for me to do, but I feel like I could and see I think I'm so afraid to do it.
Scott Benner (28:35) What do you think could go wrong?
Jen (28:37) Well, they could just be the same and just go, what?
Scott Benner (28:40) Just go, I'm not I'm not interested. (28:42) I won't be asking you. (28:44) Yeah.
Jen (28:44) I'm just not gonna ask you. (28:45) Then I'm really good at them for sure. (28:47) They don't care. (28:48) So right now, I can still pretend that they I know they care. (28:51) I don't know how to explain it, but I just like, when you like, when I hear the parents talk about staying up all night and checking their kids' blood sugar and looking at their sugars all day.
Jen (29:03) I'm like, if I had someone doing that for me, OMG. (29:06) That would be amazing.
Scott Benner (29:08) Well And And if that was happening for you from the beginning, you wouldn't know, and then you would just take it for granted. (29:12) I know.
Jen (29:13) I know. (29:14) Yeah. (29:14) But I'm just saying, it just I've had it one time. (29:16) I played pickleball, and I was in a pickleball tournament. (29:19) And my wife said, I'm gonna give me your phone.
Jen (29:22) I'm gonna handle your diabetes. (29:23) And I went, oh my god. (29:25) That would be amazing. (29:26) And it was the most amazing thing. (29:28) She'd come over, take two sips of this, or, hey.
Jen (29:30) You need this much insulin. (29:31) And I was I was like, this is so wonderful.
Scott Benner (29:34) You're like a fighter. (29:35) Every every couple of minutes you head into the corner and somebody just wets you down and squirts something in your mouth, and, like, go go and go do it again.
Jen (29:42) I was like, yeah. (29:43) I got this. (29:43) Yeah. (29:44) So totally. (29:44) I felt like rocky.
Jen (29:45) I was like, yeah. (29:46) It's dope. (29:47) But, yeah, it was so nice to have that.
Scott Benner (29:49) I bet.
Jen (29:50) So, anyway, I'm not trying to complain about it. (29:52) I'm just saying I think as adults who get diagnosed are sometimes the forgotten ones by the medical community because we are adults.
Scott Benner (30:02) But maybe by everybody else too.
Jen (30:05) Yeah. (30:05) By everybody Right. (30:07) For me. (30:07) Yeah. (30:07) So, anyway, that's
Scott Benner (30:09) No. (30:09) That's interesting. (30:09) It really is. (30:10) And I mean, you've and you've listen. (30:11) You're talking about this to it's not like it happened to you yesterday.
Scott Benner (30:14) You're twenty three years removed from being diagnosed, and it's still it's still impactful for you.
Jen (30:19) I know. (30:20) That
Scott Benner (30:21) Do you think that you could let it go if something happened? (30:26) Like, what if I snuck over to your mom and I was like, yo. (30:28) Call Jen and ask her about her diabetes. (30:30) And, like and and she did it. (30:32) Do you think you'd just be like, okay.
Scott Benner (30:34) Well, that part's over now and you'd move on? (30:36) Are you stuck in a spot? (30:38) Like, can you give it away even though they're not helping you take it away? (30:42) Does that make sense?
Jen (30:43) I'm gonna have to let it go if that is answering your question. (30:46) I know that I can't Yeah. (30:48) Convince them or make them do something that they don't wanna do. (30:52) And I know that they love me even though they don't ask about it. (30:55) You know, like, it's that weird dynamic.
Jen (30:58) I know. (30:59) And I guess I just wanted to share that when I have a bad day emotionally, it has a lot to do with that. (31:07) You know, just this having to deal with something nonstop Mhmm. (31:11) And people not ever asking about it. (31:15) Sometimes it's just hard.
Scott Benner (31:16) How long how long have you been married?
Jen (31:18) We've been married for eleven years.
Scott Benner (31:20) K. (31:20) So do you get any of that from her on the diabetes?
Jen (31:24) I do. (31:25) I yeah. (31:25) Oh, yeah. (31:26) Yeah. (31:26) She's definitely more supportive.
Jen (31:28) But what's funny and she told me not to tell you, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, is when we met, she she's still a physician assistant. (31:35) She's still a PA. (31:36) She worked in the ER when I met her. (31:38) And so I assumed she knew everything about type one. (31:42) And I'm showing her my Medtronic, whatever I had, you know, And and and she was clueless.
Jen (31:48) She had she knew nothing. (31:50) And now I know they don't know a whole lot about it, but she was so clueless. (31:54) And I had I've I felt a little resentful, like, I'm having to teach you, like, carbs and fats and proteins and all the things, and she didn't know. (32:03) And and so now, I mean, almost once a week, she'll say, wish I could take this from you. (32:08) You know?
Jen (32:09) And I'm like, no. (32:10) You're ADHD. (32:10) This would be worse if you had this. (32:12) But I'm like, don't take it from me. (32:13) But, you know, it's yeah, she definitely is very supportive.
Jen (32:17) But like we were saying before we started recording, she she just started I've always wanted her to listen to this podcast and just have a little bit better understanding. (32:27) Because every once in while, she'll give a, like, hey, babe. (32:29) Do you need to da da da? (32:31) I'm like, no. (32:32) You know, that's not what I need.
Jen (32:33) Right. (32:33) That's backwards.
Scott Benner (32:34) You know?
Jen (32:35) Oh my god. (32:35) And so I get frustrated with her. (32:37) And so she knew I was gonna be on this today speaking with you. (32:42) And so she's been listening to the podcast. (32:44) You know?
Jen (32:44) She's like, tell him I'm not a podcaster, but I've been listening for, like, the last week. (32:48) And I was like, okay. (32:49) I'll tell him.
Scott Benner (32:50) Well, because of that, because she's trying, I won't ask if you met at softball.
Jen (32:54) We did not. (32:55) You little booger. (32:56) We did listen. (32:57) We both played softball in high school, but no.
Scott Benner (32:59) I know you did, but that's not my point. (33:01) Of course. (33:02) Right?
Jen (33:03) I love to generalize too. (33:05) No. (33:05) We met in choir,
Scott Benner (33:07) and Uh-huh.
Jen (33:08) That's where we met. (33:09) Isn't that cute? (33:09) Yeah. (33:09) Was, like, community choir, and that's where we met. (33:12) So
Scott Benner (33:12) Oh, that's really lovely. (33:13) You're just out trying to meet people and have a good time, and you met each other.
Jen (33:16) Totally. (33:17) I was. (33:17) Yeah. (33:18) I was just I'm not really a great singer, but I grew up in choir. (33:20) So I was like, yeah.
Jen (33:21) I'll go join a choir. (33:22) I need to get out. (33:23) And she's actually really good. (33:24) She was like a voice major in college. (33:26) And before she switched to medicine, and so I told the director because I was overwhelmed, I said, I need to sit beside a strong alto.
Jen (33:34) Do you have anybody? (33:36) And he went, I do. (33:37) And her name's Jen as well. (33:38) So that's funny. (33:39) She's like he's like, yeah.
Jen (33:40) Jen. (33:40) And I'm like, okay. (33:42) And and so we sat I mean, like, the next day or whatever, next week, she sat beside me, and we I was like, oh my gosh. (33:50) She can sing. (33:51) And if I if you can sing beside me, I can match it.
Jen (33:54) You know, I can't really read the music, but I can hear it and match it. (33:57) And we had so much fun. (33:58) I'm like, oh my god. (33:58) This is so cool. (34:00) That's awesome.
Jen (34:00) And that's kinda how it started.
Scott Benner (34:02) That's nice.
Jen (34:02) Do you
Scott Benner (34:02) think that person was setting you up, or do you think they actually thought they they could cover your voice for you?
Jen (34:07) I think it was a little bit of both because he kinda raised his eyebrows like, oh, you could sit beside Jen. (34:12) Like that, I'm thinking, what's Jen? (34:14) You know? (34:14) But, anyway yeah. (34:16) Yeah.
Jen (34:17) Yep. (34:17) Yep.
Scott Benner (34:17) People love matchmaking. (34:18) They love it.
Jen (34:19) I know. (34:20) I do. (34:20) I know they do.
Scott Benner (34:21) Yeah. (34:21) Yeah. (34:22) Yeah.
Jen (34:22) Like But, you know, you haven't asked me, and I have written it down
Scott Benner (34:26) What?
Jen (34:26) About does anybody have autoimmune in your family?
Scott Benner (34:29) I mean, I'm waiting for it, but I also wanna ask about the Afrezza, but let let's do that thing first.
Jen (34:34) There's a lot to talk about, Scott. (34:35) You know, my my goal is to have a part one and part two, just so you know. (34:39) I told Kelly, if I get a part two, I've made it.
Scott Benner (34:43) Rob right now is like, listen. (34:44) It's the beginning of the year. (34:45) Just stop talking around an hour. (34:47) Would you please?
Jen (34:49) Don't make me work more. (34:50) I'm kidding. (34:50) You you yeah.
Scott Benner (34:51) I'll Well, no. (34:52) And you said your sister had celiac, so I was gonna get around to, like, ask him what else was going on.
Jen (34:57) Yes. (34:57) Well, yeah, sooner talk about that, and then we'll do Afrezza. (35:00) So so I didn't know any of this when I was diagnosed. (35:04) Obviously, I was clueless about type one or diabetes or autoimmune. (35:09) But listen to your podcast and and learning about that, I'm like, oh, yeah.
Jen (35:13) So I did ask my mom, and she's like, oh, yeah. (35:15) We had we I have or had two great aunts who had MS and then another great aunt who had type one, but she got it late in life. (35:25) Like, she was, like, 50 or 60 when she got that. (35:28) And then on my dad's side, RA, my dad has rheumatoid arthritis. (35:34) His mom had it, and his sister has it.
Jen (35:37) And then I have three second cousins once removed who have type one diabetes, all on my dad's side. (35:45) And they're all female, and they're all firstborn.
Scott Benner (35:48) Wait. (35:48) Wait. (35:48) There's type one on your mom and your dad's side?
Jen (35:51) Yeah. (35:52) Ain't that crazy?
Scott Benner (35:53) Yeah. (35:53) It's crazy that only you got it.
Jen (35:55) It's crazy that only know. (35:56) I keep I know. (35:58) A really bad part of me it's such a bad part of me. (36:01) Mhmm. (36:01) Wishes my one of my sisters would get it for, like, just for no.
Jen (36:05) Listen.
Scott Benner (36:05) Listen. (36:06) Just
Jen (36:06) for a week. (36:07) No. (36:07) Listen. (36:07) Just for a week.
Scott Benner (36:08) Okay.
Jen (36:08) Just for a week, and then they'd have some empathy, and then they'd take it away again. (36:12) That is a really horrible part of me, but just to have some empathy. (36:16) But
Scott Benner (36:16) What
Jen (36:16) They're not. (36:17) They're they're fine. (36:18) But I did wanna ask you
Scott Benner (36:19) Hold hold on. (36:19) Wait. (36:20) Wait. (36:20) Give me one second. (36:21) Give me one second.
Scott Benner (36:22) Yeah. (36:22) Hold that thought. (36:24) Okay. (36:24) What if instead of wishing that they could have diabetes for a week, what if you did day of diabetes with them? (36:30) What if you said to them, I really wish you understood this more.
Scott Benner (36:34) I know that sometimes you feel like I might be complaining, and that breaks my heart because I just I need somebody to talk to about it. (36:40) I don't have anybody to understand. (36:42) I was wondering if you could spend twenty four hours understanding better what diabetes is. (36:48) Like, what if I texted you every time I had to think about diabetes for one day?
Jen (36:55) Oh my gosh. (36:55) Okay. (36:56) Yeah. (36:56) I could do that.
Scott Benner (36:57) See, and I explained to you, like, hey. (36:58) Right now, I'm, you know, counting carbs up for a meal that I'm gonna eat twenty minutes from now. (37:04) Or I just changed my pod. (37:06) It took fifteen minutes. (37:09) You know, I had to like, here's what I did.
Scott Benner (37:12) I stopped what I was doing. (37:13) I was in the middle of working. (37:14) I stopped what I was doing. (37:15) I went to the refrigerator. (37:15) I got my insulin.
Scott Benner (37:16) I got the pump out. (37:17) I opened up the pump. (37:18) I put the needle together. (37:19) The needle, you know, drew out the insulin. (37:22) I tapped the bubbles out of it, filled the pod, primed the pod, you know, put it on, inserted it.
Scott Benner (37:28) I looked to see that, oh gosh, you know, my blood sugar is already one thirty. (37:31) The new pod is probably gonna go up. (37:33) Do I need the bolus right now? (37:34) How much? (37:34) I don't wanna get low.
Scott Benner (37:35) I have to go back to like, like, what if you like, what if they had that information?
Jen (37:40) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (37:40) And, like, just for the maybe you'd even write it down, not and and share it with them later instead of the, you know, texting it to them. (37:47) But just so you could just say to them, like, I would love for you to understand what it's like. (37:52) I don't want you to feel bad. (37:53) I'm not looking for Mhmm. (37:54) Sympathy.
Scott Benner (37:55) I can't really explain it to you, but there are times that I feel strong and that I don't want anybody to worry about me, but there are other times I wish someone understood what I was going through. (38:08) Don't you know what it's like to wish somebody understood what you were going through? (38:11) And then please tell me what's in your life that I don't understand that I could understand better. (38:17) Like, it might be an it might be a nice bonding thing for your sisters. (38:20) You know?
Jen (38:21) I know. (38:21) That sounds really nice.
Scott Benner (38:22) Don't do your mom.
Jen (38:23) Put it that way.
Scott Benner (38:24) She little
Jen (38:24) Oh, definitely not doing my mom. (38:25) Yeah. (38:25) Yeah.
Scott Benner (38:26) Yeah. (38:26) Yeah. (38:26) That that's that's that's different. (38:28) Just Yeah. (38:28) Yeah.
Scott Benner (38:29) Yeah. (38:29) She gets the coast to the end now. (38:31) Exactly.
Jen (38:33) Yeah. (38:33) We'll give her a pass.
Scott Benner (38:34) Yeah. (38:34) I remember the time I looked at my mom, and I said to my brother, it's like, it's time to stop teaching mom things. (38:39) Let's just let her go. (38:41) Whatever she thinks Exactly. (38:42) Is good enough.
Scott Benner (38:43) Like, don't let her be. (38:44) But
Jen (38:45) Oh, no.
Scott Benner (38:45) I don't know. (38:46) Like, does that sound crazy?
Jen (38:48) No. (38:48) It does not sound crazy.
Scott Benner (38:49) Interesting. (38:50) I wonder if you'll
Jen (38:50) do it. (38:50) Really helpful. (38:51) I knew you'd help me with this. (38:53) I was like, he's gonna help you.
Scott Benner (38:54) I mean, I'm pretty thoughtful.
Jen (38:55) You're very thoughtful. (38:56) You could have been a therapist for sure.
Scott Benner (38:58) Did you hear that cutting edge breakdown of did you meet in softball? (39:01) It's amazing.
Jen (39:04) I love it.
Scott Benner (39:07) So okay. (39:07) So I'm sorry. (39:08) I cut you off. (39:09) What were you gonna say?
Jen (39:10) I don't remember.
Scott Benner (39:11) I do you have ADHD?
Jen (39:13) I don't dude. (39:14) No.
Scott Benner (39:15) You jump around a little bit, so I stopped you to see if you'd remember what you were gonna say.
Jen (39:19) You are a booger. (39:20) No. (39:20) I don't have ADHD.
Scott Benner (39:22) Okay.
Jen (39:23) I don't. (39:24) I just have a long story. (39:25) Did you I've lived a long life.
Scott Benner (39:27) Did you think I was disagreeing with you when I said okay? (39:31) You're like, I don't.
Jen (39:33) Yeah. (39:33) Like, I'm feeling offended. (39:35) I'm I'm okay. (39:36) Your,
Scott Benner (39:38) spouse does. (39:39) Your wife does.
Jen (39:40) Yes. (39:41) She does.
Scott Benner (39:41) Is that a diagnosed thing, or is it just a thing she says?
Jen (39:45) No. (39:45) It's for sure diagnosed and treated.
Scott Benner (39:47) Because the because the whole world's running around saying they have ADHD. (39:50) Don't know if you noticed too. (39:51) People like to say they're autistic now too. (39:53) I know. (39:54) I know.
Jen (39:54) Yeah. (39:54) They're on the spectrum.
Scott Benner (39:55) I don't think you are. (39:56) I I I and I think people with autism would be offended if they heard you.
Jen (40:01) Right. (40:01) Yeah. (40:02) For sure. (40:02) But no. (40:03) No.
Jen (40:03) She definitely has all the the symptoms, signs, unfortunate parts of ADHD.
Scott Benner (40:10) Okay.
Jen (40:10) So yeah. (40:12) Yep.
Scott Benner (40:12) What are the unfortunate parts?
Jen (40:14) Oh, well, she is very, very hard on herself. (40:20) She always has no time, so she's always behind. (40:25) She is, like, hard for her to finish things. (40:28) So, like, just some like, a funny example, we get Amazon packages and show up in the package, but do you think she puts the package you know, like, there's the box is there, and I've I've, you know, I've it up, and I put it in the recycling. (40:41) You know, like, she those little things, it's not a big deal, but that'll happen.
Jen (40:44) But her biggest thing is, like like I said, she's a PA, and she's really good with her patients. (40:50) She's so good and empathetic and really good provider, but that's not what the medical industry wants. (40:56) Right? (40:56) They want you to be quick and hurry. (40:59) So she gets kinda penalized for being slow.
Scott Benner (41:03) Stop the right word. (41:04) People and
Jen (41:05) Yeah. (41:05) Yeah. (41:05) Yeah. (41:06) And I do again, I've already said this. (41:08) I know my part.
Jen (41:08) I'm responsible. (41:09) I've always been that way. (41:11) And so I have to be really careful to not manage her, to not mother her. (41:16) You know, like, it's that dynamic that can happen in that relationship.
Scott Benner (41:20) Mhmm.
Jen (41:21) Because it it but there'll be times where I'll be like, Okay. (41:24) Because she'll be like, hey. (41:26) You know, I think we should paint the garage, and and then we're gonna, you know, clean it out, and then we're gonna da da da da. (41:33) I'm like, no. (41:33) No.
Jen (41:33) No. (41:33) No. (41:34) No. (41:34) You know, we're gonna do this one thing.
Scott Benner (41:36) Go throw the box away. (41:38) Let's see you throw a box away before I paint something.
Jen (41:40) Box away before we clean out the whole garage. (41:42) And so I'm there to help kinda help to prioritize and to
Scott Benner (41:48) Mhmm.
Jen (41:49) Put things in a certain you know, the the the first step is this and now this and that because she will start spiraling is what they call it. (41:55) And she's spiraling very emotional, very reactive. (41:59) And so and so, like, if I'm, like, if I'm low, you know, and I'm like, oh, I gotta you know? (42:04) And and she'll kinda pick up on my crazy frantic energy if it's a bad low, like I'm dropping quick. (42:12) And she's there to help me, but I'm like, I need you to be calm.
Jen (42:16) You know what mean? (42:16) Like, I don't need you to get up, you know, emotional with me. (42:20) That doesn't make me feel better. (42:21) So Yeah. (42:22) That's kinda what so there's a lot of good about ADHD, but in her profession, it's hard to be ADHD in the medical field Okay.
Jen (42:30) From what I've seen.
Scott Benner (42:31) Yep. (42:31) So I'm looking at your notes for the first time.
Jen (42:34) Oh, yeah. (42:34) Do you
Scott Benner (42:35) think coming out how wait. (42:37) I don't understand what you're saying here.
Jen (42:39) Do you think Okay. (42:39) Okay. (42:39) Okay.
Scott Benner (42:39) Go ahead.
Jen (42:40) So when I was first diagnosed, you know, they always said they would say, did you have the flu? (42:44) Did you have mono? (42:45) Were you sick?
Scott Benner (42:46) Anything stressful.
Jen (42:47) Prior, and I wasn't. (42:49) And the only thing I had was, yeah, the only thing I had was those seasonal allergies. (42:53) Right? (42:53) And I'm like, well, I have allergies, but that's it. (42:55) It's only the thing I go to the doctor for.
Jen (42:57) And so as within that first year of diagnosis, I was doing a lot of self reflection because a part of me is like, did I cause this? (43:04) Before I understood diabetes, you know, and type one. (43:07) And and I was I was like because stress well, oh, I know what I was stressed about.
Scott Benner (43:12) Yeah.
Jen (43:12) I was I didn't honestly didn't know I was attracted to women in my late twenties. (43:19) And I remember in that you know, the year before diagnosis, I had a so called best friend, and she was. (43:25) We're just best friend, platonic, no big deal. (43:27) But between you and me and a lot of people, I, you know, I had I was like, I really, really like her. (43:35) You know?
Jen (43:36) Like, it's like, I just like to be around her. (43:38) I like to you know, I just wanna talk to her all the time. (43:40) That was it. (43:41) Nothing physical. (43:43) It was just more like this emotional thing.
Jen (43:46) And then she so called broke up with me, and we stopped being friends. (43:50) And it was like a real breakup. (43:51) And I'm like, what is wrong with me? (43:54) Why does this feel like a real breakup? (43:55) Because at the time I was dating men, I've been engaged to men, you know, the whole thing.
Jen (44:00) And so it was such a stressful event that I have no idea if that is what triggered me to finally turn this gene on and, you know, get type one, but there was nothing else really going on in my life. (44:14) You know what I mean?
Scott Benner (44:15) How long? (44:17) My gosh. (44:18) So you so you dated men for the fur like, maybe you still do. (44:22) I have no idea what you do. (44:23) But, like No.
Jen (44:23) I don't. (44:24) I don't. (44:24) Don't. (44:24) But yeah. (44:24) So I yeah.
Jen (44:25) So, like, I remember I mean, in high school, I was, you know, I was athletic. (44:30) I played sports. (44:31) I had made good grades. (44:32) I was a good kid kind of thing. (44:33) Mhmm.
Jen (44:34) And I was like, well, I should be interested in boys so I have something to talk to my girlfriends about. (44:39) You know? (44:40) Like like, that's what they do, so I guess I should like boys too. (44:43) But I didn't know that that was weird or different. (44:45) Now, you know, I was like, I guess I should like boys.
Jen (44:48) And they kinda got on my nerves, but I'm athletic, so we'd pass softball or football. (44:52) And, yeah, we'd play sports, and I liked that part of it. (44:56) But I didn't like the other part of of dating. (45:00) And so but I didn't think much about it. (45:03) And but, yeah, I mean, if you guys wanna know how to get a ring on your finger, I can definitely teach you how to get a ring on your finger.
Jen (45:11) It's basically don't care about the guy, don't wanna see him for a week or two, don't have sex with him, and he wants to marry you. (45:19) So Treat
Scott Benner (45:20) boys poorly and they chase you around?
Jen (45:22) And I me I'm not trying to sound horrible, but I just wasn't that interested in them. (45:26) You know? (45:27) And I didn't understand that I wasn't. (45:29) Yeah. (45:30) And I remember when I came out, finally, my sister Jill, she said, oh my god.
Jen (45:35) I'm so glad you're gay because I thought there was something wrong with me that I like boys so much. (45:40) We So anyway.
Scott Benner (45:41) We we we did you did you did you do the have you done the deed with the boys? (45:56) This episode was too good to cut anything out of, but too long to make just one episode. (46:01) So this is part one. (46:02) Make sure you go find part two right now. (46:04) It's gonna be the next episode in your feet.
Scott Benner (46:09) US Med sponsored this episode of the Juice Box podcast. (46:13) Check them out at usmed.com/juicebox or by calling (888) 721-1514. (46:21) Get your free benefits check, and get started today with US Med. (46:27) The podcast is also sponsored today by Omnipod five. (46:31) Omnipod five is a tube free automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a one c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections.
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Scott Benner (48:41) And the reviews, they all say the same thing. (48:44) Small sips makes diabetes make sense. (48:47) Search for the Juice Box podcast, small sips, wherever you get audio. (48:52) If you have a podcast and you need a fantastic editor, you want Rob from Wrong Way Recording. (48:58) Listen.
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#1781 Body Grief: Hopelessness, Hope & Self Care
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We continue through the Body Grief process with two deeply connected stages: Hopelessness and Hope, and how they eventually open the door to Body Trust.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner (0:0) Here we are back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box podcast. (0:15) Body grief is the sense of loss and mourning that comes with living in an ever changing body. (0:21) And in this new series with myself and Erica Forsyth, we're gonna talk all about it. (0:27) How would you like to share a type one diabetes getaway like no other? (0:31) Join me on Juice Cruise 2026.
Scott Benner (0:33) You may be asking, what is Juice Cruise? (0:35) It's a week long cruise designed specifically for people and families living with type one diabetes. (0:40) It's not just a vacation. (0:42) It's a chance to relax, connect, and feel understood in a way that is hard to find elsewhere. (0:47) We're gonna sail out of Miami, and the cruise includes stops in CocoCay, San Juan, Saint Kitts, Nevis aboard the stunning Celebrity Beyond.
Scott Benner (0:57) This ship is chosen for its comfort, accessibility, and exceptional amenities. (1:02) You're gonna enjoy a welcoming environment surrounded by others who get life with type one diabetes. (1:08) I'm gonna host diabetes focused conversations and meetups on the days at sea. (1:12) There's thoughtfully designed spaces, incredible dining, and modern amenities all throughout the celebrity beyond. (1:20) Your kids can be supervised, and there's teen programs so everyone gets time to recharge.
Scott Benner (1:26) Not just the the kids going on vacation, but maybe you get the kickback a little bit too. (1:30) There's gonna be zero judgment, real connections, and a whole lot of sun and fun on Juice Cruise twenty twenty six. (1:36) Please come with me. (1:37) You're going to have a terrific time. (1:39) You can learn more or set up your deposit at juiceboxpodcast.com/juicecruise.
Scott Benner (1:45) Get ahold of Suzanne at cruise planners. (1:47) She will take care of everything. (1:49) Link's in the show notes. (1:50) Link's at juice box podcast dot com. (1:53) I created the diabetes variable series because I know that in type one diabetes management, the little things aren't that little, and they really add up.
Scott Benner (2:02) In this series, we'll break down everyday factors like stress, sleep, exercise, and those other variables that impact your day more than you might think. (2:10) Jenny Smith and I are gonna get straight to the point with practical advice that you can trust. (2:15) So check out the diabetes variable series in your podcast player or at juiceboxpodcast.com. (2:21) Nothing you hear on the juice box podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. (2:26) Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan.
Scott Benner (2:33) The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored by Touched by Type one. (2:38) Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram, and, of course, at touchedbytype1.org. (2:44) Check out that programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes. (2:52) Touched by type1.org. (2:54) Today's episode is also sponsored by Eversense three sixty five, the only one year wear CGM.
Scott Benner (3:02) That's one insertion and one CGM a year. (3:05) One CGM, one year. (3:08) Not every ten or fourteen days. (3:10) Ever since cgm.com/juicebox. (3:14) The podcast is also sponsored today by the Tandem MOBI system, which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Plus technology.
Scott Benner (3:23) Tandem MOBI has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages two and up. (3:29) Learn more and get started today at tandemdiabetes.com/juicebox. (3:35) Erica, I appreciate you coming back. (3:36) We were gonna try to finish up the body grief series today. (3:39) Is that right?
Erika Forsyth (3:40) That's the plan. (3:42) Yes.
Scott Benner (3:42) Look at us. (3:45) How do you wanna handle this? (3:46) Do wanna do you wanna just give a little overview of what you think what got us to this point and then how we're gonna finish up, or do you just wanna jump in? (3:55) What do you think?
Erika Forsyth (3:56) I think let's do a quick recap in light of this perhaps being our final episode of the series.
Scott Benner (4:03) Okay.
Erika Forsyth (4:03) So we we're kind of reviewing the body grief stages, and this these are as defined by Jane Mattingly from her book. (4:12) This is body grief. (4:13) And body grief is, you know, the experience or, the sense of loss or mourning that comes with living in a body. (4:21) Right? (4:21) So the having that feeling that you wish you could go back to the way your body used to function, the way your body used to look, and the sense of loss that accompanies that that longing.
Erika Forsyth (4:33) And so the stages that she defines, there are seven of them, and so far, we've reviewed five or discussed five. (4:41) The first one's dismissal, which sounds like, I'm fine. (4:45) Everything's fine. (4:46) The second one is shock, though that might sound like you're feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you just can't keep going. (4:54) You can't function.
Erika Forsyth (4:56) Apology is the third stage. (4:59) It's kind of sounding like I'm I'm sorry for being me. (5:02) I'm sorry for the way I'm presenting. (5:04) I'm sorry for my illness. (5:05) The fourth stage is fault, and that sounds like why me?
Erika Forsyth (5:10) Why did this happen? (5:12) Could I done anything differently? (5:14) And the fifth stage is fight, which sounds like I'm gonna beat this thing. (5:20) And so we've discussed all of those in previous episodes. (5:24) And so today, I thought we could discuss the stage six, which is combined hopelessness and hope together.
Erika Forsyth (5:32) And then the the final stage, is body trust, which ultimately, we're discussing it as the final stage and even naming it as such, but, really, it's something that we want to practice and integrate as you work through the different stages.
Scott Benner (5:46) Okay.
Erika Forsyth (5:46) So how does that sound?
Scott Benner (5:47) I'm incredibly interested. (5:49) I have, enjoyed this conversation a lot so far and have seen a number of comments online recently about how people feel just about you being on the podcast in general and and how valuable they find these conversations. (6:02) So, honestly, I'm excited to finish this one up and then figure out what we're gonna talk about next.
Erika Forsyth (6:07) Yes. (6:07) Yes. (6:08) Great. (6:08) Well, thank you. (6:09) I appreciate that.
Erika Forsyth (6:10) So so the stage six, hopelessness and hope. (6:13) So, again, these are these are tool these are definitions and tools that Jane, the author, uses, and then we're trying to kind of apply them and discuss them through the lens of living with diabetes. (6:22) Mhmm. (6:23) So when when you're in hopelessness, this one is probably very clear and obvious. (6:28) It sounds like, you know, what is the point of all this?
Erika Forsyth (6:31) You're feeling devastated. (6:34) It's also a very natural place to be. (6:35) We all experience hopelessness at some point. (6:39) It often feels like it hits when there's just no way out. (6:42) Like, you can't excuse yourself.
Erika Forsyth (6:44) You can't dismiss it. (6:46) You are out of kind of the the wimey stage, and you're that might even lead to that feeling of hopelessness. (6:52) You might be feeling like you are forgotten. (6:55) Right? (6:56) Like, you get you get diagnosed or you go through and do challenge within your life with diabetes, and people are are still living their lives.
Erika Forsyth (7:04) And you might feel like you're gonna be left behind. (7:07) If you are in hopelessness, this might feel or sound a little bit like, you know, depression that you're feeling really lethargic. (7:16) You have really intense fatigue. (7:18) You might be sleeping more. (7:20) You are canceling plans.
Erika Forsyth (7:22) And then that isolation as a result of those other feelings and behaviors, that can lead to even more thoughts of just a feeling left behind, a feeling stuck, a feeling like no one really understands what what you're going through. (7:37) And then, ultimately, you stop using the coping skills, right, that you know would help you Right. (7:42) Kind of move out of this space, but you you feel like you just can't.
Scott Benner (7:46) That feels that's maybe the part where you give in and just throw in the towel.
Erika Forsyth (7:51) Yes. (7:51) Yes.
Scott Benner (7:52) So in the beginning, you experienced some sort of a change in your body's ability to do what you expect to do, and you can feel like, okay. (8:04) This this vessel is not doing what was promised here. (8:08) Mhmm. (8:08) And then it this drift, if you're not supporting yourself correctly, this drift can get worse and worse and worse until you finally just throw in the towel and you go, oh, I I I give up. (8:17) Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna feel like this forever.
Scott Benner (8:20) I have a failed body. (8:21) It's not gonna do what I need to do instead of reframing. (8:24) Because I don't find that to be I'm not saying everybody's situation is exactly the same, but for the most part, type one diabetes is not gonna leave you in a situation where your body can't keep up with your activities and your the other things you wanna do. (8:37) There's obviously more steps to take sometimes, and some people have greater struggles than others. (8:42) But I have also seen people who I think are just bowled over by this thing, which I would have probably called depression at first.
Scott Benner (8:50) But now that you've outlined it like this, it really does feel more focused on on this this letdown that you've experienced.
Erika Forsyth (8:57) And and they can they can commingle. (9:00) Right? (9:00) I mean, hopelessness is a a symptom of depression.
Scott Benner (9:04) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (9:04) So and and, also, this might sound like burnout. (9:08) Right? (9:09) Like, you might get to this place where you just feel like you can't keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. (9:16) And, yes, this might you might experience it's really normal to experience feeling of hopelessness, whether it's with diabetes or any other change in your body. (9:25) Like, even if we were to simplify it with a cold and you had all these plans and then you had to cancel them.
Erika Forsyth (9:33) And when you have that letdown, right, when you feel like you just you can't do anything and your body is is shifting and you're like, gosh. (9:41) Why couldn't it be like it was yesterday?
Scott Benner (9:43) Right.
Erika Forsyth (9:43) So it can be very small, this feeling of hopelessness, but also can be become bigger given many different factors. (9:53) But I think just naming it is really helpful too to notice, oh my gosh. (9:57) Okay. (9:57) I'm I'm having these thoughts and feelings. (9:59) I'm canceling plans.
Erika Forsyth (10:01) I'm feeling isolated. (10:02) I feel like no one really is getting this. (10:04) Oh, I'm I'm in this hopelessness stage. (10:07) And to name it and normalize it. (10:09) And then we're gonna talk about, you know, kind of the flip side of it, which is hope.
Scott Benner (10:13) I think that the thing that I like most about this conversation is that you can see that this exists outside of diabetes Mhmm. (10:21) Or outside of chronic illness at all. (10:23) Like, the people can experience this for, you know, I don't know, pain that won't go away or even a body style change. (10:30) I wouldn't call it body grief, but I've had trouble, like, adjusting to just not weighing as much. (10:36) It it it has been odd at times and and impactful.
Scott Benner (10:40) And so, like, understanding that this feeling can can come from a lot of different places, but that you might be experiencing it out there listening because of type one. (10:50) I find that just I don't know. (10:51) I find that distinction incredibly important. (10:54) Mhmm. (10:55) I I don't wanna
Erika Forsyth (10:55) stop you, but Yes. (10:56) And I think that's, you know, part of why I think this this book, a, I think, has has been successful to a lot of different types of people. (11:05) Right? (11:05) She's she's it is a universal experience of loss that we that we all have, whether it's with a chronic illness or a change in body style or body type or, yeah, the chronic pain that just won't go away. (11:19) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (11:19) And I think having these and having terms helps us contain, oh, this is what's happening.
Scott Benner (11:27) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (11:27) This is what I'm experiencing and feeling less alone in it and less, hopefully, less stuck.
Scott Benner (11:31) It would have never occurred to me without this conversation that I had a preconceived expectation of the shell that I'm walking around in. (11:38) And that if it doesn't do the thing that I've come to expect it to do, that that could be a letdown in some way. (11:43) I never I genuinely never would have thought about it if it if it didn't, if it didn't come up like this. (11:47) So, anyway, I'm I'm grateful you brought this to me.
Erika Forsyth (11:50) It's good.
Scott Benner (11:50) Yeah. (11:51) But but go ahead and move on. (11:52) I I apologize
Erika Forsyth (11:52) for Okay.
Scott Benner (11:53) Cutting you off.
Erika Forsyth (11:54) So I think what I appreciate the way that she discusses the fact that hopelessness and hope can go hand in hand, that whenever we are experiencing hopelessness, we are able to kind of hold on. (12:12) Right? (12:12) And the okay. (12:14) Things have gotta change. (12:15) Things are gonna get better.
Erika Forsyth (12:16) And not in a kind of magical thinking kind of way, but trusting that things are gonna shift. (12:24) Now when we when it's hard to get to that space, that's when perhaps you might be experiencing more clinical levels of depression.
Scott Benner (12:31) Okay.
Erika Forsyth (12:33) So I don't wanna kind of say, just just think that things could change and things will get better, and it'll be fine because that's can be really hard to do Mhmm. (12:42) When you're in severe levels of depression. (12:45) She defines kind of hope that is this glue, right, that keeps the body grief process together. (12:51) And so how do you know if you're able to experience? (12:54) What are some signs that you're in hope?
Erika Forsyth (12:56) So it is allowing yourself to consider that things could possibly get better. (13:02) So I'm envisioning, like, you're you're in this position. (13:05) You're feeling like, first of all, how did I get here? (13:07) How did I get diabetes? (13:09) How am I ever going to feel better?
Erika Forsyth (13:11) How am I gonna cope? (13:12) Why did this happen to me? (13:14) I'm feeling so isolated and alone, and I'm not gonna reach out for help. (13:18) So I that was kinda I'm quickly moving through the stages. (13:21) If you are able to say, okay.
Erika Forsyth (13:22) Things are really hard right now, but I'm gonna allow myself the option to consider that things might get better. (13:30) Mhmm. (13:31) Not not that they will. (13:32) Not that, like, you're gonna click your heels or tomorrow's Monday, and it's gonna be great on Monday. (13:37) Everything's gonna reset, but just holding that hope.
Scott Benner (13:40) The it's a possibility. (13:41) Yeah. (13:44) This episode is sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. (13:47) And today, I'm gonna tell you about Tandem's newest pumping algorithm. (13:51) The Tandem Mobi system with Control IQ plus technology features auto bolus, which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia.
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Erika Forsyth (15:48) Yeah. (15:48) It's a possibility. (15:49) Okay. (15:50) So and that's what she calls practicing blind faith. (15:54) So we're not we're not out there kind of chasing the cure, which I know we so desperately want, and we can get kind of stuck in some of those traps.
Erika Forsyth (16:03) But it's about, she just says, trusting the present enough to wanna stick around for what the future holds. (16:10) I love I like that. (16:12) Even when even when you're in your a really moment full of despair and you're feeling really, you know, just crappy emotionally, maybe even physically, say, okay. (16:22) Things it will it will not stay this way forever.
Scott Benner (16:26) Okay. (16:27) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (16:27) So if that's hard to envision, how can you cultivate more of that hope? (16:34) So here are some four four tools that I think are are pretty helpful, hopefully, will be helpful. (16:39) Asking yourself, k. (16:41) Who am I gonna be in the future? (16:43) Getting to know your future use.
Erika Forsyth (16:44) So this is if you're feeling really stuck and trapped. (16:47) Who am I gonna be in five minutes, in five days, in in one month, in six months? (16:54) Right? (16:54) Asking yourself, what have you been excited about recently? (16:59) What has been bringing you contentment?
Erika Forsyth (17:02) Do you feel supported right now, and who who is supporting you in the future? (17:07) What is bringing you joy? (17:08) So that is a mind exercise because even though you're feeling maybe hopeless right now, you're kind of getting yourself to the place of, like, things might get better because I'm I'm envisioning in five months from now, oh, this thing is bringing me joy, or this person is really supporting me right now. (17:27) Mhmm. (17:27) Does that make sense?
Scott Benner (17:28) Yeah. (17:29) And can it be small just, like, slam dunks that you know are gonna happen to you? (17:34) Like, can I be like, oh my god? (17:35) Stranger Things is coming out. (17:36) I'm gonna be excited when that happens, that kind of stuff.
Erika Forsyth (17:38) Yes.
Scott Benner (17:39) Sam?
Erika Forsyth (17:40) Yes. (17:40) Anchor. (17:41) Yes. (17:41) Anchoring onto something that you know will be exciting and perhaps fulfilling, and it could be very small or very big.
Scott Benner (17:48) Yeah. (17:48) So it's almost cheat. (17:49) Like, put something out in front of yourself like a goal that you know is definitely gonna happen. (17:52) Like, well, I'm I'm gonna be super excited when Wednesday gets here. (17:55) And then when Wednesday comes, be like, woo.
Scott Benner (17:56) We did it. (17:57) Right? (17:57) Yeah. (17:57) No. (17:58) It's just hey.
Scott Benner (17:58) Listen. (17:59) I do that with does everyone not do this? (18:01) Like, I think it keeps me alive to wanna see a movie that's coming out a year from now. (18:06) I always think like, oh, I just wanna watch that movie. (18:08) Then once I see it, I go, oh, I I wanna make it to next summer to see this one.
Scott Benner (18:11) I know that's got no real bearing on my my actual longevity, but I do think it has a bearing on I don't think it's debatable that human beings do better when they have tasks to do and when they have goals. (18:24) And so if you're if you can do goal setting around the body grief thing, that makes complete sense to me. (18:32) And, yeah, it's really awesome. (18:33) It's positive self talk. (18:35) That's what it is, really.
Scott Benner (18:36) Right?
Erika Forsyth (18:37) That this is a form of it for sure. (18:39) Yeah. (18:39) Yeah. (18:39) Just reminding yourself that even though you don't feel great right now, you in five and six months from now, I know I'm gonna be excited because, to use your example, the show is coming out or this new episode. (18:52) So you're you're reminding yourself internally that the way you're thinking and feeling right now is not permanent.
Erika Forsyth (18:57) It's not fixed.
Scott Benner (18:59) Do know small things give me that feeling? (19:01) I actually thought today when I was thinking about, like, the span of time that I've owned a car in the past that I don't remember driving anymore. (19:09) But at the time, it was my car. (19:12) Like, it was important to me. (19:13) It got dirty.
Scott Benner (19:13) I washed it off. (19:14) I kept it clean inside. (19:15) It got me where I was going, and now it's as if it didn't exist. (19:19) And when I think about, like, struggle the same way, I have struggled in the past too, but that struggle that I remember doesn't exist anymore. (19:26) I actually can't even feel it anymore.
Scott Benner (19:28) And that helps me the next time there's a struggle because I think that there'll be a day in my life where I won't remember this and it'll be gone. (19:36) And therefore, it makes it feel very transient, and it doesn't stick to me the same way then. (19:40) I've been doing that my whole life, though. (19:42) So I don't know what that is. (19:44) I'm sure at some point it was coping, but now I just realized it works.
Scott Benner (19:47) But yeah.
Erika Forsyth (19:49) Yeah. (19:49) Let's see. (19:49) Well, it's coping that works Yeah. (19:51) For you.
Scott Benner (19:51) Who cares. (19:52) Right? (19:52) Anyway, I'm sorry. (19:53) Keep going.
Erika Forsyth (19:54) No. (19:54) It's good. (19:54) Yeah. (19:55) Okay. (19:55) So another, you know, another tool to help you cultivate some more hope is reminding yourself of what she calls anchors.
Erika Forsyth (20:03) The people it could be people, but places or things too that bring you meaning and keep you kind of anchored, tethered to the world no matter how bad things may feel or how bad things may get. (20:18) And so you're remembering this is kind of like you could do even guided imagery exercises. (20:26) Right? (20:26) Anchoring yourself to that feeling that you had laying on the beach that one time. (20:32) It doesn't have to always necessarily be the people that you're counting on because sometimes that might lead you to feel if you're feeling lonely or alone and don't have that sense of support right now, that can also maybe take you down a path you don't wanna go down.
Erika Forsyth (20:46) But just remembering those places, people, things that make you feel connected
Scott Benner (20:52) Right.
Erika Forsyth (20:52) To the world. (20:53) Okay. (20:54) The next couple, you know, becoming a a role model. (20:58) You might even have role models that you look to whether it's on, you know, in your personal life, you know, on social media, but also considering, can you be someone else's role model? (21:13) I think this is oftentimes I know teens and young adults who maybe have gone through a challenging time of kind of integrating diabetes into their identity.
Erika Forsyth (21:24) They often then find great healing and joy by looking kind of backwards and seeing who who can I support now who's newly diagnosed is a is a really beautiful way to kinda help cultivate more of that hope? (21:37) Yeah. (21:37) Okay. (21:39) Last two, play, finding moments of play. (21:42) And I think we often think these can be really like, I need to go into the show.
Erika Forsyth (21:46) I need to go on a trip. (21:47) I need to have buy this big thing. (21:49) But just going back down to the small things of, like, playing a card game. (21:53) I know we'd like know, dancing to your favorite song in the kitchen. (21:57) Like, these are really small things that interrupt the spiral of thinking that you're stuck and that the way you feel is permanent.
Erika Forsyth (22:06) And you're thinking about, well, what am I what hand am I gonna play next? (22:09) What card can I play next? (22:10) Right? (22:10) It's just very, very small things that you might be hard to to start. (22:15) But if you can get to that first few minutes of, like, I'm gonna play I'm gonna press play on this music.
Erika Forsyth (22:20) I'm gonna ask this person to play this game and see what happens.
Scott Benner (22:24) Is that a distraction? (22:25) Is that the is that the role it plays? (22:27) Or am I Yes.
Erika Forsyth (22:28) Yeah. (22:28) Absolutely. (22:29) It's a distraction and then gets you to a different place in your mind. (22:32) It interrupts the thought pattern of a feeling of permanency, of hopelessness, and it gets kind of that little dopamine hit. (22:41) And so this is, you know, separate from maybe going you know, I know we often will wanna go to this to scrolling to get those dopamine hits, but this is something different that's really small within your control.
Scott Benner (22:52) Is there can I take a sidebar for a second? (22:54) Maybe you don't do or don't know the answer to my question. (22:57) Maybe my question's ridiculous. (22:58) But is there a, like, a, intellectual scientific understanding of how people get stuck in that loop? (23:06) Because that is really what because you're describing, like, you're caught in a loop, like, get out of it.
Scott Benner (23:10) And so that your brain can focus on other things. (23:13) You know, you start I don't know. (23:14) I broke up with a girl. (23:15) I broke up, and you keep thinking about it, and then it just feels like it gets heavier and heavier and and worse. (23:20) Almost like a centrifuge.
Scott Benner (23:21) You're stuck to the side. (23:22) You can't peel yourself off the wall. (23:24) It's as faster it goes, the more you're stuck. (23:26) Is there an understanding of why that happens to human beings at all, or is that just the thing we know happens and we're not sure why?
Erika Forsyth (23:33) Like, neuro in a neuropsychological way?
Scott Benner (23:37) Is something happening to them, or is this purely brain chemistry?
Erika Forsyth (23:42) I think it's how our brains operate.
Scott Benner (23:43) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (23:44) And then we gets we get stuck in this way of thinking, and this is if we're we're gonna delve into, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy and and kind of neuroscience, we get stuck in this way of thinking because, like, with the cognitive behavioral triangle, you know, we will do something and then we think a certain way, and then that makes us feel a certain way. (24:05) Or you could start with a thought, and then we get stuck in
Scott Benner (24:08) that It stutters almost, and then it just kick and it kicks over and does it again. (24:11) Yes. (24:12) Yeah. (24:12) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (24:12) And now neuro like, neurologically neuro kind of in a psychological way, I'm not sure I could explain why, but I think that's a good question for us to explore.
Scott Benner (24:25) How do you get on that off ramp when you feel it coming?
Erika Forsyth (24:29) You know? (24:30) Because That's that's yeah. (24:31) That's another
Scott Benner (24:32) I have a I have a silly example. (24:34) Okay? (24:34) Okay. (24:34) Sorry for everybody. (24:36) I guess I'm announcing here one of my chameleons has passed away.
Erika Forsyth (24:39) And Oh, I'm sorry.
Scott Benner (24:41) She lived a good long time and made it pretty far. (24:44) But I had space and a and a different animal that I had considered, getting for a number of years. (24:50) And yesterday, I went to pick it up, and I've done all of my research. (24:56) I'm completely comfortable on how to take care of it. (24:59) I have the cagings correct.
Scott Benner (25:00) Everything about it is right. (25:02) I have the desire. (25:03) I can afford it. (25:04) Like, the entire thing. (25:05) Like, I there's nothing there.
Scott Benner (25:06) The only thing that exists that is outside of my control is that I've never owned this kind of animal before, and I have some trepidation about that. (25:14) But that's it. (25:15) It it's it's a healthy amount of trepidation. (25:18) And as I was driving to the FedEx location to pick it up, I felt myself getting nervous to the point where I thought, oh my god. (25:27) I shouldn't have done this.
Scott Benner (25:29) And as soon as I had that thought, I stopped myself and I went, oh, shut up, idiot. (25:34) You're just nervous because you don't know what's about to happen. (25:38) You just can't see on the other side of the wall. (25:40) Like, you've got it all thought through. (25:42) You're good to go.
Scott Benner (25:43) You'll know what to do as the things happen. (25:45) But my god, how interesting is that? (25:47) That even on something so small that I prepared so much for that my brain was able to look at me and go, hey. (25:55) You are making a huge mistake right now. (25:57) And I don't know why I was able to go I mean, it's a small example, but, like, what allows you to go, I'll be alright, and keep going and trust yourself versus getting caught in that stutter spiral and then going, oh god.
Scott Benner (26:10) I did the wrong thing. (26:11) I gotta call the guy and take it back and hopefully he'll refund it. (26:14) Like like you know what I mean? (26:15) Like but, you know, why can't you get off that that ramp when when it's the right thing to do? (26:20) I don't know.
Scott Benner (26:21) Sorry.
Erika Forsyth (26:21) Well, so you you probably have had experience of interrupting that thought. (26:27) You know, we have all these different types of cognitive distortions that could be you know, they're they're fear based. (26:32) They're they're all different reasons why we have different distortions, like catastrophic thinking, black and white thinking, magical thinking. (26:40) And so in that moment, you are having some normal, probably, anxiety and fear based from probably your grief.
Scott Benner (26:47) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (26:47) I I don't know if we're doing really quick analysis here. (26:51) And and then you were able to interrupt it, and you did some externalizing and names like, oh, this is this is fear talking.
Scott Benner (26:58) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (26:59) Right? (26:59) That's what we talk about in the CBT tool is to, like, name and notice when those thoughts are happening, and that takes practice because then you're you're noticing it. (27:08) You know what it sounds like. (27:10) You're naming it, and then you're interrupting it. (27:12) You you chose shut up, stupid.
Erika Forsyth (27:14) Yes. (27:14) Sometimes that works for people. (27:16) Sometimes it doesn't.
Scott Benner (27:17) Right.
Erika Forsyth (27:17) That might cause more kind of conflictual dialogue in people's minds. (27:21) Yeah. (27:21) But it could also be like, oh, you could choose, like, the compassionate way of like, oh, this is this is you feeling nervous. (27:29) This is me feeling nervous, and I think I I've got the tools, and we're gonna give it a go.
Scott Benner (27:33) I will tell I'll give you the end of how I taught after I told myself to shut up, I I actually I gave myself some grace back. (27:39) I can't believe I'm using words like this. (27:41) I've become
Erika Forsyth (27:42) This is good.
Scott Benner (27:42) I've become such a hippie. (27:44) But You become self compassionate. (27:47) I said to myself, this is good. (27:49) There's a thing out in the world that makes me a little nervous. (27:51) That's good.
Scott Benner (27:52) I should keep doing things that make me feel like I don't exactly have control over this. (27:57) Like, that's how I'm gonna grow. (27:58) And, you know, and and I get so I ended up just I basically took the thing I was afraid of and then gave myself credit for it and then just zipped on, didn't think about it again. (28:07) Okay. (28:08) Alright.
Scott Benner (28:08) I I don't know. (28:09) I feel like that story fit here. (28:10) But
Erika Forsyth (28:10) It did. (28:11) No. (28:11) I think it's good because it's, yeah, again, we're noticing those patterns. (28:16) You're naming it, interrupting it, and then you offered but then the tool was the compassionate self talk
Scott Benner (28:22) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (28:22) And not the shame. (28:23) Like, oh, you did this again. (28:24) Right? (28:25) Because then that keeps you trapped.
Scott Benner (28:26) Yeah. (28:26) I didn't feel bad for that. (28:28) I just I probably just you know, the shut up stupid part. (28:32) That was just how I was raised. (28:34) Like, you know, if and so I I know I can shut my emotions off if if I get yelled at.
Scott Benner (28:38) So I was like, okay. (28:39) Like, I'll just stop myself for a second. (28:41) Then once I had a clear mind, I recognized why I was nervous. (28:45) And I and then I actually thought and it's funny. (28:48) It's not a feeling for me.
Scott Benner (28:49) I've heard other people say it, that it's good to do things that stretch you, that make you a little nervous. (28:54) Right? (28:54) And I thought, okay. (28:55) Well, I'll just believe those people who say that, and I'll apply that to myself, and I was on my way again. (29:01) So Mhmm.
Scott Benner (29:02) Mhmm. (29:02) My point is is that if you just believe Erica, you should be able to apply it and move on. (29:07) I mean, hopefully, good luck and all. (29:09) But
Erika Forsyth (29:09) yeah. (29:09) Yes. (29:10) Yeah. (29:10) I wanted to say well, I'm sorry for the loss of your chameleon, and I am tempted to ask you which animal that maybe you're you wanna save that for another time. (29:20) I can't see because of your
Scott Benner (29:21) Yeah. (29:21) I'm blurred out in the background. (29:23) Yeah. (29:23) You're fine. (29:23) I'll save that for another time, Erica.
Scott Benner (29:25) Yeah. (29:25) Yeah. (29:25) But I I I gotta get it's not a chameleon. (29:28) It's a different kind of lizard. (29:29) Okay.
Scott Benner (29:30) So Okay. (29:31) Alright. (29:31) That's what I'll say for now.
Erika Forsyth (29:32) Okay. (29:33) Alright. (29:33) And we will wait anxiously to
Scott Benner (29:35) hear more. (29:36) At some point in 2026, I'll Yeah. (29:39) I can't give it all away today. (29:40) Okay?
Erika Forsyth (29:41) Oh, gosh.
Scott Benner (29:43) I'm sorry. (29:43) Go ahead. (29:43) So
Erika Forsyth (29:44) okay. (29:44) So I think we we are gonna actually move into some self compassion and some tools, but I think one last tool in terms of the hopelessness and hope conversation is, you know, if you're able to ask yourself, what what do you need in that moment? (30:00) Is it is it some an actual physical hug from someone? (30:04) Is it a phone call, or do you need a solution? (30:07) Do you need a fix?
Erika Forsyth (30:08) Do you need more support from your endo? (30:12) Do you need more support from how to change your rates? (30:16) You know, just being able to ask yourself, okay. (30:19) I'm really feeling stuck, but what is it that I need? (30:21) And sometimes hard to identify what you need in that moment.
Scott Benner (30:24) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (30:25) And it might take a couple tries to say, maybe I need this. (30:27) Maybe I need that.
Scott Benner (30:29) Yeah. (30:29) No. (30:29) I I hope I hope everybody finds that answer. (30:31) But okay. (30:32) Move move please move on.
Erika Forsyth (30:33) Okay. (30:33) Yes. (30:33) Let's move on. (30:34) So when you are experiencing hopelessness, believing that someday you will feel hope again, practicing that blind faith, recognizing that I think it's important to recognize that self compassion and gratitude go hand in hand. (30:52) And perhaps I don't know if I've said this quote before in previous episodes, but this is one of my favorites in the book is we cannot hate ourselves into becoming what we will be grateful for someday.
Erika Forsyth (31:05) Right? (31:05) That is shame. (31:06) And we often feel like shame can move us, but it keeps us trapped. (31:11) So switching that and thinking for this diabetes example, if you're looking at your numbers, right, and you're saying, okay. (31:19) My numbers are higher today than I want them to be, or I miss bolus whatever for this meal.
Erika Forsyth (31:25) That's okay. (31:26) I'm allowed to be flawed. (31:28) I'm allowed to be human, and I'm grateful that I have the ability to make a correction now or next time. (31:35) Right? (31:35) So this is obviously, we're gonna we wanna look at patterns, and we need to make shifts.
Erika Forsyth (31:40) But this is you know, if you're noticing that you're experiencing the shame and, like, why why can't I get this? (31:45) Why can't I figure this out? (31:46) Why do I keep messing up? (31:48) Going back to not only the self compassion, but trying to integrate moments of that gratitude too. (31:54) Like, okay.
Erika Forsyth (31:55) I messed up. (31:56) It's okay. (31:57) I'm gonna make I'm gonna make a I'm grateful that I can make this correction now. (32:01) I can do something different next time. (32:03) That leads us to the final stage, body trust, which is a reminder, the definition is in order to trust our bodies, our body needs to trust us to take care of it, be kind to it, and nourish it in all ways.
Erika Forsyth (32:16) So, again, body trust is not this final destination that we're trying to reach, but something that we want to kind of practice and integrate as you're moving through these stages. (32:26) Body trust is something that is innate, but we kind of skip over that. (32:32) Like, we for when we're hungry, we our body gives us this cue, and it growls. (32:37) But oftentimes, instead of, you know, having being able to have a meal and sit down and enjoy it, we'll grab a a bar and run. (32:46) I know that's not always practical to be able to do that, but just we're talking about, like, consistently maybe ignoring
Scott Benner (32:52) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (32:52) These cues. (32:53) Maybe you're you're sleepy every afternoon, and we just you know, instead of taking a nap, you drink your third cup of coffee, which I can be certainly guilty of. (33:03) Right? (33:03) So instead of taking a nap, resting, listening to your body, we're kind of pushing through those cues. (33:08) Practicing body trust can be intuitive, but oftentimes we get so consumed by this by societal pressure, by our kind of culture that that your that your body is defective, right, when we're when we're diagnosed with something.
Erika Forsyth (33:27) But it actually we we know it's not. (33:30) And it understanding that we're we wanna be more okay with not being okay because it's really normal. (33:38) Like, I wonder, you know, if we were to take a toll a poll of everyone every day and how many people are like, I'm great. (33:44) I'm fine. (33:45) Or we or more people are like, I'm I'm not okay, but I'm just pretending.
Erika Forsyth (33:49) You know?
Scott Benner (33:49) I always think that, there's got you know, we we people are like, oh, I'd like to be normal. (33:54) Like, you know, I hear people say all the time, like, my kid got diabetes. (33:57) I just want them to be normal. (33:59) Between diabetes and everything else and all the other things that go wrong with people's bodies as they age, I would imagine that people who don't have any issues are probably far fewer than the ones that do. (34:08) Aren't we normal and they're not?
Erika Forsyth (34:10) Yeah. (34:11) Yeah. (34:11) You know? (34:12) And what and, yeah, what is normal? (34:13) You know?
Erika Forsyth (34:14) I think
Scott Benner (34:14) It really does lead you into expectation. (34:17) Like Mhmm. (34:18) You expect your body to be perfect, but, I mean, look around. (34:21) That's not really what happens. (34:22) I mean, I don't know that I know anyone well who I could say they don't have one issue and their system just works perfectly.
Scott Benner (34:31) You know? (34:32) And if even if the ones that do eventually will run into something, and I don't mean like, you know, I don't mean death at the end. (34:37) I mean, along the way, like, body wears out. (34:39) It's a machine. (34:40) You know?
Scott Benner (34:40) It rubs and it rubs and breaks down. (34:43) So okay. (34:44) I'm sorry. (34:45) Anyway, just think of try thinking of maybe you're normal and they're not. (34:47) That's what I was gonna say.
Erika Forsyth (34:50) Yeah. (34:51) As you are trying to integrate this practice of the two way street of, you know, listening to your body and your body trusting you, So trying to listen and respond to your body cues with compassion instead of just, like, ignoring it, having the coffee, pushing through. (35:04) And, again, I know it's not practical all the time, but just trying to integrate some of that.
Scott Benner (35:09) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (35:10) Okay. (35:11) So how do you build more moments of body trust? (35:16) I know we've talked about self care various times throughout all of our episodes that we've recorded, but I think it I like this perspective and that self care is not about indulgence. (35:28) Even though in our, you know, in our capitalist society, we are often told that buying the thing that you've always wanted or getting the massage or doing the thing that will make you happy. (35:40) That's a form of self care.
Erika Forsyth (35:42) And while, certainly, that is, and it's about you know, you're trying to make yourself feel better, what we wanna kind of shift is that basic self care is is about listening to your body and giving it what it needs and not necessarily always trying to make it feel better. (36:02) Does that does that make sense that shift of, like, we're trying to listen and build trust with our body as opposed to trying to just always and and and in in that process, you might feel better, but we're not doing the thing that's gonna make it feel better in the moment all of the time.
Scott Benner (36:19) Support yourself without expecting perfection afterwards. (36:23) Give it the thing like, I I went to I I got a massage last week. (36:26) I'm not embarrassed, Erica.
Erika Forsyth (36:28) No. (36:28) That's good. (36:29) Massages are great.
Scott Benner (36:30) My hip pointers were really sore, and my lower back is always stiff, and my neck is stiff. (36:35) Right? (36:35) So when I went in, you know, the person asked me, like, what what are my problem areas? (36:40) So my neck's stiff, my neck's stiff, my lower back, and, you know, my hips. (36:44) And I left and she when she got all the pain out of my hips.
Scott Benner (36:47) And she loosened up my neck. (36:49) It isn't great, but it was better. (36:50) And I left thinking, oh, good. (36:52) This was an improvement. (36:53) That's what you're talking about.
Scott Benner (36:54) Like, do something, but, like, I could have left going, like, well, my shoulders aren't completely better and my back still feels a little stiff, so this is a waste of time. (37:02) Like, just is that what you're saying? (37:04) Like, don't expect perfection at the end? (37:05) Just do something for yourself and hopefully, cumulatively, it might help?
Erika Forsyth (37:09) Yes. (37:10) And
Scott Benner (37:10) Oh, I I missed it. (37:12) Go ahead.
Erika Forsyth (37:12) No. (37:12) No. (37:13) I think so getting a massage, buying that sweater you've always wanted, taking that trip that you've always longed to do, that those are all beautiful and great things to do. (37:25) But if you're hanging your hat on that type of what we might label as self indulgence as always trying to make yourself that's what you you do to make yourself feel better, that isn't necessarily building the body trust. (37:38) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (37:39) Because, a, you can't always maybe afford it. (37:41) You might not have the time. (37:42) And then you realize, wait. (37:44) But I'm still feeling this way, or I'm still kind of questioning why did this happen to me.
Scott Benner (37:50) Don't fall back on big gestures and use them as, a pacifier. (37:54) Is that the idea?
Erika Forsyth (37:55) Yes. (37:56) Yes. (37:56) So I think what maybe we give some examples of, like, building body trust and what basic self care looks like. (38:03) So it's going back to, you know, eating when you're hungry, sleeping when you're tired, crying when you're sad, like, letting yourself connect physically with your body and what it needs. (38:14) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (38:14) You know, hygiene, being practicing hygiene self care. (38:19) Maybe it's taking a longer shower. (38:21) And for some people, it might mean brushing your teeth twice a day. (38:24) Sometimes that can be hard to do given whatever stage of grief you might be in. (38:29) Maybe it's, using perfume or lotion that you save for special occasions and use it at the day you're at home.
Erika Forsyth (38:36) Right? (38:37) K. (38:38) Building in time to call your friends. (38:41) Some people for for diabetes, after showers, they like to take a little bit longer before they put their devices on if you're happen to have a, you know, the the naked shower or the whatever. (38:54) You know what I mean?
Scott Benner (38:54) Naked shower is one of my favorite diabetes terms because it must
Erika Forsyth (38:57) sound funny.
Scott Benner (38:57) It must sound ridiculous to everybody else.
Erika Forsyth (38:59) Yeah. (38:59) Yeah.
Scott Benner (39:00) Yeah. (39:00) Yeah.
Erika Forsyth (39:01) Even I yeah. (39:02) It it is a funny thing because we usually are naked when we shower, but we know what that means.
Scott Benner (39:06) Wait. (39:07) You take all your clothes off in the shower? (39:10) I think I'm doing it wrong. (39:11) Okay. (39:12) No.
Erika Forsyth (39:12) So taking taking that just that if you are able to, obviously, making sure you're safe, etcetera, but tending to your body, listening to your body, giving it what it needs, not only basic self care, hygiene, digital hygiene, being mindful of, you know, as we've talked about before, how much time you're spending on social media for people who only have diabetes accounts and they follow only diabetes, you know, groups, influencers, etcetera, I know that can be really encouraging and supportive and you feel like you're a bigger part of this community. (39:46) But I know it also can lead to feeling either envious or you kind of get stuck in this comparison trap. (39:53) And so just being mindful of your digital hygiene practice as well.
Scott Benner (39:57) In all the years we've been doing stuff together, Erica, you finally said something I cannot get behind. (40:01) I need everybody to listen to the podcast and keep following on the podcast. (40:05) I think you may With
Erika Forsyth (40:06) the exception of juice bugs, always follow Yeah.
Scott Benner (40:08) Yeah. (40:08) No. (40:09) But no. (40:09) I you make a great point there, and I've actually I get to watch people have an experience of being group experts in the Facebook page. (40:18) And my feeling about how to manage that a big community like that very much is that it's about sharing information with people, pointing them in the right direction.
Scott Benner (40:28) You know, if people are being, you know, horrible, stopping them, that kind of stuff. (40:32) But mostly, I just I'm live and let live. (40:34) I like to see adults act as adults and figure things out for themselves. (40:38) But I've seen that sometimes you can make somebody, you know, a group expert, for example, and it gives them a pressure that they have to impact the thing. (40:47) And and I can see the anxiety that it puts on them, some of them, when they see something and they think that can't stand like that.
Scott Benner (40:57) It needs to be commented on or changed or stopped or, you know, corrected or whatever. (41:03) And then there are times when they realize they don't they don't have power over it and it is it it causes what I would call consternation with them. (41:11) Like, they can't just walk away from it. (41:13) I've been doing this a long time, and I recognize that, you know, we've got some ways we do things. (41:20) We do them that way.
Scott Benner (41:21) If it doesn't work out, we tried, but it's not on me. (41:26) I can't carry that. (41:27) That's not a wait for me to carry after that. (41:30) I did what I could do. (41:31) If you don't wanna interact with it in a way that's gonna resolve it, I feel bad for you, but I gotta move on.
Scott Benner (41:37) But I see some people can't think it's stuck. (41:39) Like, we you know, I but we can't let them say that. (41:42) It's wrong or, you know, some I'm like, no. (41:45) It's just their people talking. (41:47) Like, you can't you can't make yourself responsible for everything coming out well.
Scott Benner (41:51) And I can see that bigger picture happening to people when they're involved in this too. (41:56) Like, they get that feeling of, like, you feel responsible for what the whole world's saying, and that is just not a reasonable position to put yourself in. (42:03) Mhmm. (42:04) Yeah. (42:04) Mhmm.
Scott Benner (42:04) I appreciate you bringing that up.
Erika Forsyth (42:06) Yeah. (42:06) That's it's just another thing to be mindful of, you know, what Yeah. (42:11) How much time you're spending and how is that impacting how you feel, for whatever it may be.
Scott Benner (42:18) You can get caught up in something too and not see the forest or the trees in those situations. (42:22) And Mhmm. (42:23) And that's that's why I think putting it down once in a while, anything really, and getting some distance from it really does help, you know, refocus your perspective. (42:31) So I'm sorry. (42:32) You
Erika Forsyth (42:32) Yes. (42:33) This is good. (42:34) Okay. (42:34) So a few more examples of, you know, trying to build increase more moments of body trust. (42:40) Obviously, regulating your nervous system with with breathing, with grounding.
Erika Forsyth (42:44) We know that tool, and that can be a very small but significant tool. (42:49) Building trust with others, you know, have offering empathy and compassion towards people, but also reminding yourself that they are human.
Scott Benner (42:59) Mhmm.
Erika Forsyth (43:00) But then also leaning on them. (43:01) Right? (43:01) I think so often, we might be hesitant to reach out for help because we think, well, mate, they've got too much going on. (43:11) How could they ever listen to what I need or what I'm going through? (43:16) And then that keeps you trapped and isolated.
Erika Forsyth (43:19) So it's risky. (43:20) It's risky to build trust in this kind of the healthy codependency with others, but that is a tool to to build some of this body trust. (43:29) And then finally, this is the probably the hardest thing is surrendering, letting go of control, and accepting that life isn't fair all the time. (43:40) And this this is hard because we don't wanna accept that. (43:44) We wanna fight.
Erika Forsyth (43:45) We wanna make sure we are the healthiest possible and pain free and chronic illness free. (43:51) But when more we lean into this and say, okay. (43:55) This is I cannot control what happened. (43:57) This happened to me, or I got diagnosed with this. (44:02) The more we can trust that we don't always have control, we don't always get what we want, but we can practice building that body trust that we have everything we need in our body.
Erika Forsyth (44:14) And that goes right back to then to the basics again of eating when you're hungry, sleeping when you're tired. (44:21) So it's kind of this full circle loop that, hopefully, all of these tools will help you move through these body grace stages. (44:30) Again, body trust is something that we don't it's not like you once you do this all the time, you've, like, arrived. (44:37) Right? (44:37) These are things that we can always practice and integrate as we feel in shock or we're in the apology stage or fight stage or what wherever it might be.
Scott Benner (44:47) Great conversation. (44:48) That's really wonderful. (44:49) I have to ask a question. (44:51) I mean, we're pretty much through and gotten through what you wanted to talk about, and I'm gonna pull the curtain back for some people. (44:57) A few moments ago, Erica's reading, and she's got some notes for herself here.
Scott Benner (45:02) And in under examples of regulate your nervous system, she has three examples. (45:06) She read you two of them and skipped the third one, and I thought
Erika Forsyth (45:09) Oh, yeah.
Scott Benner (45:10) I did. (45:10) That because she doesn't want me to say something stupid, or did she miss it? (45:14) Now
Erika Forsyth (45:17) you want me to say.
Scott Benner (45:17) I yes. (45:18) Did you skip it because she thought dummy's gonna say something dumb if I say self massage? (45:23) No. (45:23) Okay.
Erika Forsyth (45:23) Because when I when I have spoken, you know, I I have spoken on this topic before, and I know I'm pretty sure I've said self massage. (45:32) I don't know. (45:33) I wonder, Scott. (45:34) I wonder if I had said that you might have said something, and that would have made me feel embarrassed.
Scott Benner (45:39) I actually was thinking, like, is she trying to like, is her because I I really looked at your face. (45:45) And when you skipped it, I laughed to see to see if you would acknowledge my laughter, but you didn't. (45:51) So, like, so I So
Erika Forsyth (45:52) I might have done it.
Scott Benner (45:54) Yeah. (45:54) The adult inside of you is like, let's not go down this road with this guy.
Erika Forsyth (45:57) The I am not conscious of what decision I made there, but you're right. (46:02) I mean, I think I skip around a little bit here and there.
Scott Benner (46:05) Yeah. (46:05) Yeah. (46:05) I wanna make sure clear to people. (46:06) Like, Erica's not reading. (46:08) She has, like, an outline for herself that she puts together.
Scott Benner (46:11) And but sometimes when she hits examples that she's laid down for herself, she goes through them. (46:16) And so I listen. (46:18) So people can get the curtain pulled back a little bit. (46:20) I've been trying to do a better job of keeping up with your notes because I think there are times in the past when I'm, like, coming to these realizations and realizing
Erika Forsyth (46:28) to the end too quickly.
Scott Benner (46:30) And then and Erica's like, oh, I was getting to that, man. (46:32) Stop it. (46:32) Yeah. (46:34) It's because I'm unaware of her notes. (46:35) I'm just going through the process with her, and she's giving me moments as I'm listening.
Scott Benner (46:40) But I've been trying to look while you're like, I don't know if you've noticed. (46:43) I haven't been looking at you as much. (46:44) I've been looking at what you're reading. (46:46) Right? (46:47) And, boy, I just was like, you were, like, grounding, deep breathing, and then you went to and you can trust others like, damn.
Scott Benner (46:53) She skipped right over self massage. (46:56) Also, what is self massage? (46:57) Is that me rubbing my own arm or something? (46:59) Is that really helpful?
Erika Forsyth (47:01) Yeah. (47:01) Or, like, people do they can put, you know, pressure points on your forehead.
Scott Benner (47:07) To myself?
Erika Forsyth (47:08) Yeah. (47:09) Alright. (47:10) Yeah. (47:10) Or on your your palms.
Scott Benner (47:12) What do I get married for? (47:13) Why do I have to do this? (47:14) I
Erika Forsyth (47:15) mean, there's all different types.
Scott Benner (47:18) Do you know the one in between your thumb and your pointer finger? (47:20) You press into that web there? (47:22) Yeah. (47:23) Uh-huh. (47:23) That's a good one.
Erika Forsyth (47:24) Yeah. (47:24) That is a good one. (47:25) Yeah. (47:26) All sorts of and those those are some examples.
Scott Benner (47:29) Yes. (47:30) Yes. (47:30) Well, thank you. (47:32) I I hope I hope
Erika Forsyth (47:33) you Oh my gosh. (47:34) I can't believe we're ending on on this, but I kind of can. (47:37) Yeah.
Scott Benner (47:37) I mean, what are we gonna do? (47:38) I'm trying to keep it light. (47:41) Listen. (47:41) We just did a whole series about what happens when people feel like their body abandoned them. (47:45) I was like, if we don't try to lighten this up, my goodness.
Scott Benner (47:48) I hope Jay Mattingly hears this. (47:50) I hope she's, impressed Yes. (47:51) Impressed with our breakdown of of her book. (47:54) And, and and you really do suggest people go out and get the book. (47:58) Right?
Erika Forsyth (47:59) Yes. (47:59) I think it's I mean, it's she covers a lot. (48:01) I mean, this is we're we're covering the basics, but I think it's the first book that I have read that really connects to the experience of not just grief stages that we've talked about a lot over the years, but really apply it to the physical sense of loss that people experience with the diagnosis of diabetes.
Scott Benner (48:23) Listen. (48:23) A bunch of you go get that book, like it, and then leave a nice Amazon review that mentioned you heard it on the podcast. (48:29) Maybe we'll get Jane Mattingly on, and then Erica can keep I'll in invite Erica on and she'll geek out and ask her a bunch of questions.
Erika Forsyth (48:36) Yes. (48:36) I'll sit
Scott Benner (48:36) in the background and just wait for self massage to pop up again. (48:40) Doing my part in this whole thing, which apparently is listening to smart people talk than saying something stupid that dumbs down their conversation.
Erika Forsyth (48:48) Oh my gosh.
Scott Benner (48:49) I was interviewing someone the other day, and she's such a such a bright lady, and she laid this whole thing out. (48:55) And then I kinda, threw a synopsis together, and she goes, well, you really reframed that wonderfully. (48:59) I was like, that's my whole job. (49:01) I was like, I've come to understand that's actually my job. (49:04) So, anyway
Erika Forsyth (49:06) That's a skill.
Scott Benner (49:06) Yeah. (49:07) Appreciate you bringing this to me. (49:08) Do you have any idea? (49:09) Let us let us tease the audience. (49:10) Do you have any idea what you think you and I are gonna do next?
Erika Forsyth (49:13) I know we've talked about it, and we've written it down, but I cannot recall the moment.
Scott Benner (49:20) Or it's like, it's written down somewhere. (49:22) I don't remember what it is. (49:23) And trust me, I don't either. (49:24) That's why I was asking you.
Erika Forsyth (49:27) We have a list somewhere.
Scott Benner (49:31) Let them wonder. (49:32) It's fine. (49:34) These people gotta go. (49:35) They gotta go back to work. (49:36) I mean, there oh, you guys are all just
Erika Forsyth (49:38) sitting teen a a teen series. (49:41) I know we've talked about that.
Scott Benner (49:42) You will find something.
Erika Forsyth (49:43) Don't worry. (49:44) Yeah. (49:44) It'll be Yeah. (49:45) It'll be great.
Scott Benner (49:45) Scotty will come up with something or Erica will. (49:47) Like, this was your baby here, this body grief
Erika Forsyth (49:50) thing.
Scott Benner (49:50) Yes. (49:51) Yeah. (49:51) Yeah. (49:51) Actually, if you ever see Erica out in the wild giving talks, she does a great little, little breakdown of body grief in person you might wanna check out.
Erika Forsyth (49:59) Oh, thank you. (50:00) Of course.
Scott Benner (50:01) Do you have any talking, speaking gigs coming up?
Erika Forsyth (50:03) The only one for sure is next September.
Scott Benner (50:07) Could be by Touch by Type one.
Erika Forsyth (50:08) Touch by Type one. (50:09) Okay. (50:10) Uh-huh.
Scott Benner (50:10) Yes. (50:11) See there too. (50:11) That's the yearly time when Eric and I have dinner together.
Erika Forsyth (50:14) Yes. (50:14) It's lovely. (50:15) The annual conference in Orlando.
Scott Benner (50:17) Nine more months, then we can do it again. (50:19) Yeah. (50:20) Alright.
Erika Forsyth (50:21) Is it really nine months till then?
Scott Benner (50:22) I mean, it's January.
Erika Forsyth (50:23) Oh my gosh. (50:23) Yeah. (50:24) Yeah. (50:24) That's how it works.
Scott Benner (50:25) I isn't it I'm at the age where I'm like, god. (50:26) If I live that long, that'll be amazing. (50:28) I know that's ridiculous, but it's how I feel.
Erika Forsyth (50:30) Yeah. (50:31) I think you're on a good check.
Scott Benner (50:32) Yeah. (50:32) We'll see. (50:33) Thank you so much for doing this. (50:34) Erica foresythe dot com. (50:36) Head over.
Erika Forsyth (50:36) Thank you.
Scott Benner (50:37) Yep.
Erika Forsyth (50:37) Thank you, Scott.
Scott Benner (50:38) Bye.
Erika Forsyth (50:38) Bye.
Scott Benner (50:46) The conversation you just heard was sponsored by Touched by Type One. (50:50) Check them out, please, at touchedbytype1.org on Instagram and Facebook. (50:55) You're gonna love them. (50:56) I love them. (50:57) They're helping so many people at touchedbytype1.org.
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Scott Benner (51:32) So, I mean, that's better. (51:36) Okay. (51:36) Well, here we are at the end of the episode. (51:38) You're still with me? (51:39) Thank you.
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Scott Benner (52:26) If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify, really any audio app at all. (52:35) Look for the Juice Box podcast and follow or subscribe. (52:38) We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. (52:42) Wanna learn more about your diabetes management? (52:44) Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and look for bold beginnings, the diabetes pro tip series, and much more.
Scott Benner (52:51) This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. (52:59) Hey. (52:59) What's up, everybody? (53:00) If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking, like, how does that happen? (53:05) What you're hearing is Rob at Wrong Way Recording doing his magic to these files.
Scott Benner (53:11) So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrongwayrecording.com. (53:15) You got a podcast? (53:16) You want somebody to edit it? (53:18) You want Rob.
Please support the sponsors
The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!