#1595 Shooting Star
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Allison’s 8-year-old daughter, Molly, was diagnosed with T1D last February and is one of only three documented adolescent acute esophageal necrosis cases.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Welcome back, friends to another episode of The Juicebox podcast.
Elle 0:14
Hey everybody. I'm Elle. I've been type one for 25 years, but I just started really getting involved and leaning into my diabetes in January, and I'm just so excited to be here and to tell you guys about it. If
Scott Benner 0:28
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Unknown Speaker 2:01
Ever since,
Scott Benner 2:04
this episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by Omnipod five. Omnipod five is a tube, free, automated insulin delivery system that's been shown to significantly improve a 1c and time and range for people with type one diabetes when they've switched from daily injections. Learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juicebox at my link, you can get a free starter kit right now. Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox
Elle 2:34
Hey everybody. I'm Elle. I've been type one for 25 years, but I just started really getting involved and leaning into my diabetes in January, and I'm just so excited to be here and to tell you guys about it.
Scott Benner 2:46
Awesome. El, you're 25 years into type one. But how old are you? I'm 3737 so you were 12 when you were diagnosed.
Elle 2:52
I was 11, about to be 12. I got diagnosed in March of 2000 and my birthday is in April, so a little less than a month with diabetes before I turned 12. Gotcha, you have kids? Are you married? Yes, I'm married, and I have two children. I've been pregnant three times. I had a miscarriage before I had my first son, and the miscarriage was just due to, like, really uncontrolled diabetes.
Scott Benner 3:13
Okay, let's talk about your diagnosis. Then, do you remember anything about it?
Elle 3:18
I sure do. How'd it happen? So I was a competitive dancer. I literally lived in the dance studio. I was there probably five, six, maybe even sometimes seven days a week, there for hours at a time. It was competitive dance season, and I pretended to be sick because I needed a little break from dance. I just was like, damn, I just want to be home and I want to watch TV and I want to veg on the couch. And I, you know, my parents rule of thumb was, unless you have a fever or you're throwing up, you are not missing school, you're not missing dance. I didn't really know how to fake a fever, so I made myself throw up, and it got me out of dance. So I said, All right, we're going to do this again. And I did it for two more days. And then finally, on the third day, my mom was like, we're going to the emergency room. Went to the emergency room. We were in triage. I'm thinking, this is a field day, like, this is another day off. I'm so excited. We get to the ER, we're in triage. They prick my finger sugar 600 and the nurse is like, Did you give her insulin today? And my mom's like, what the heck do you mean? What is insulin? What are you talking about? And shortly after that, I got transferred to another hospital, and I was there for about two weeks. This was in the two, you know, 2000 so we didn't have CGM, we didn't really have pumps. So I was there for a long time getting stabilized and learning how to eat and inject and check my sugar and all of those things. So do
Scott Benner 4:36
you think, in hindsight, do you think that you felt run down and sick, and the way your brain thought about it was like, I need a break from all this dancing.
Elle 4:46
Well, I definitely had symptoms of type one leading up to my diagnosis, which I think why it was so easy for me to throw up, because I always felt nauseous, I was always tired, I was always thirsty, I was always hungry. I had all the symptoms like they were. Black and White. I even wet the bed at age 11, but my parents were going through a really crazy divorce, so it got overlooked as anxiety. It got overlooked as, oh, she's just anxious about what's going on. Because my parents had just separated. They were living in different houses. It was a huge life change, yeah. So it got it really did get MIS, misdiagnosed and overlooked, because my parents were like, No, something's up. But, like, they couldn't put their finger on it. And I never threw up. Up until that point. I was always nauseous. I always said, Oh my God, my stomach hurts. Oh my god, I'm so tired. But nobody ever took me to the doctor to get it checked out. You know? They were just like, well, you know, her parent, you know, we're going through a divorce. Like, it's probably just that
Scott Benner 5:38
the making yourself vomit. Did you like, have to? Like, how did you accomplish? It
Elle 5:41
wasn't very hard, because I my sugar was so high, and, like I said, I always felt nauseous, so I literally just stuck a finger down my throat and it everything came up. Whatever I had eaten came up. And I don't know if
Scott Benner 5:52
you're looking for a break, basically, yeah, so you fake, literally, you vomit to get a break, and then your mom, like, hey, like, you wouldn't have known at that age, but, like, vomiting three days in a row is very, very concerning. So your mom's like, all right, fine hospital. So you got yourself diagnosed by mistake, by pretending to be sick when you actually really
Elle 6:10
were exactly I always say dance was like my it was my saving grace during my parents divorce, and it literally saved my life. Granted. It was because I felt like I needed a break from it. When I tell you, for our dance recitals, I had like 12 dances lined up. There was some dances I was getting changed behind the stage because I didn't have enough time, because I had to go back on. Like dance was my entire life, yeah, and it literally saved my life. Because even though I needed a break from it, I think maybe subconsciously, like you said, like my body was just feeling run down. And think about it, 600 blood sugar, yeah, pretty crazy.
Scott Benner 6:42
You were pretty beat up at that point. Okay, okay, so now you're out of the hospital, and your parents are not together, and it's 25 years ago. So I mean, what was your management expectations at that point? What were they expecting you to
Elle 6:56
do? So first was nutrition. They took me to a nutrition class while we were still in the hospital, learned to count carbs, basically, calculate a dosage, go through all of that. So we get out of the hospital, and I remember, like, my mom goes to the grocery store, she comes home, like, our first day, our first full day home, and she just, like, lays all the food out on the table, and she starts crying, and she's like, there's carbs in every like, I don't even know what to feed you.
Scott Benner 7:21
I gotta tell you, it's so funny, like, there's carbs, and anything crying happens to everybody, yeah? Like, absolutely, it happened to me in the in the grocery store. I was like, It's okay. We'll go and we'll get something that'll be okay. And then you're walking around, you're like, and there's this terrible feeling of just like, how are we gonna eat any of this? Okay, so you're, I'm sorry. Your mom's your mom's crying around the grocery
Elle 7:40
mom's crying about the food. I remember, you know, like I said, we didn't have CGM, so, like, we would have to wake up in the middle of the night, check the finger, give a dosage. Back in that time, we had a mix mph and n to get a long acting insulin. It wasn't even like, you know, Atlantis or chase, but it was like you had to mix it yourself. So it's like, it's kind of crazy just to see the progression of how things have changed with diabetes. Yeah, it was scary. It was a lot of work. And not too far into my diagnosis, I was 11, turning 12. I kind of had the independence, and my parents just kind of fell off with my care. Honestly, it was like, once they they realized I knew how to check my sugar, I knew how to give a dosage. I knew I had to eat, you know, give insulin before I ate. They kind of were just like, okay, she got it, and that was kind of it. It's kind of sad actually, that I always say, like, I feel a little neglected, and I think that's where the bad relationship with diabetes comes in, because it was always like, in the beginning it was, there was so much care, and then once it was like, okay, she's got it. She's got it. She's confident. She knows what she's doing. It just kind of like, fell off.
Scott Benner 8:44
So how long do you think that took before they were like, Oh, look, she's good.
Elle 8:48
Probably like, three or four months. But I will say I've always been very independent, like, just as a child, like, I always just like, you know, I played by myself. I mean, I have siblings, but I was just always very independent, right? And I had an older sister, who was very like, motherly towards me. So I was very lucky in that sense, that I always had my, you know, an older sister, but probably, like, I don't know, I would say anywhere between three to six months, and it was just, and then you never heard from them again. On it, well, not that I never heard from them, but it was just like, it wasn't a priority anymore,
Scott Benner 9:18
okay, so meaning they thought, like, we figured out the thing we're supposed to do. It's happening now on a cycle. It doesn't need focus any longer.
Elle 9:27
Basically, yeah, it was, like, every three months. How did that leave you feeling horrible? I still to this day, do not have a great relationship with my mom. You think it's because of this? I think it's a big part of it. I personally feel, and I don't want to say anything to offend my parents, but I feel like this happened while they were going through a divorce, and they were very selfish with their divorce, that there was no focus on my health, that it was just basically all of them. But think about it, trauma responses can trigger diabetes, too. So it's like, did this trigger. It is this, like the trigger that happened, so I feel like I have just a bad connection, just to that in general.
Scott Benner 10:06
What do you think your mom would say if she heard you say that?
Elle 10:09
I don't know. Honestly. I mean, I've said it to my dad. Me and my dad are very close, but me and my mom have always had just, like, a really hard relationship, and that's why I say. I don't want to offend her, because me and her still don't really talk a lot, so I don't want to offend her, but now as a mom, I'm
Speaker 1 10:24
gonna get emotional. I'm sorry. Take your time,
Elle 10:29
just like now as a mom, I just don't I feel like the way she was as a mom, has made me a better mom. If that makes sense,
Scott Benner 10:36
okay, is she? Is she like, she's alive, she's well, like
Elle 10:40
she's she's alive. She reach out. Yeah, we reach out, you know, holidays, birthdays, things like that. Lately, we've been trying to connect a little bit, because she's not in the best of health. So, you know, I do try to reach out. Hey, how are you? You okay? I always feel like I was more the parent to a parent, you know,
Scott Benner 11:02
she have anything going on that would cause that she had medical issues when she was younger. She drank, drinking anything like
Elle 11:07
that. My mom was sober all the time, like I think she had a hard childhood being raised, and I think that that was just the only way she knew how how to be with me. Okay, so how old is she now? My mom is going to be 68 I think,
Scott Benner 11:25
okay, 68 almost 70. I don't know a lot about a lot, but I can tell you that you should work on forgiving her and moving forward, because if you don't, she'll die one day and it'll it'll haunt you forever. Yeah, you know, I think sometimes people get confused about, like, you know, what does it mean to forgive somebody? You have to go explain to them what they did so that they agree with you, and then, you know, they say they're sorry. Like, I don't know that. That's how it works.
Elle 11:54
Well, this is my thing. I feel like I need my mom to say she's sorry, and she's just the person that won't Why do you need that just for and you know what? My husband says that too. My husband's like, why do you need her to say you're sorry? What is it gonna change? And I'm like, You know what? Maybe you're right. Did
Scott Benner 12:10
she do it on purpose? Do you think she was malicious? I don't think she
Elle 12:13
was malicious. I think that during my parents divorce, she used my health as a way to, like, kind of hold something over my dad. You know that she's the one doing all of this, like, my dad was involved, but I saw my dad on the weekends. I was with my mom, primarily during the week, so I think it was just like, I remember, like, being diagnosed, and they're screaming in the hospital room at each other, and I'm just like, Hello, can you guys, like, stop worrying about yourselves? How
Scott Benner 12:36
did they get divorced? Was one of them unfaithful? Or somebody crazy, trying to get away from somebody, or Today's episode is brought to you by Omnipod. It might sound crazy to say, but Summertime is right around the corner. That means more swimming, sports activities, vacations. And you know what's a great feeling, being able to stay connected to automated in some delivery while doing it all. Omnipod five is the only tube free automated insulin delivery system in the US, and because it's tube free and waterproof, it goes everywhere you do, in the pool, in the ocean or on the soccer field. Unlike traditional insulin pumps, you never have to disconnect from Omnipod five for daily activities, which means you never have to take a break from automated insulin delivery ready to go tube free. Request your free Omnipod five Starter Kit today at omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox type that link in your browser, or go to Juicebox podcast.com and click on the image of Omnipod right at the bottom. There's also a link right in the show notes of your podcast player. When you think of a CGM and all the good that it brings in your life, is the first thing you think about. I love that I have to change it all the time. I love the warm up period every time I have to change it. I love that when I bump into a door frame, sometimes it gets ripped off. I love that the adhesive kind of gets mushy sometimes when I sweat and falls off. No, these are not the things that you love about a CGM. Today's episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 the only CGM that you only have to put on once a year, and the only CGM that won't give you any of those problems the ever sense 365 is the only one year CGM designed to minimize device frustration. It has exceptional accuracy for one year with almost no false alarms from compression lows while you're sleeping, you can manage your diabetes instead of your CGM with the Eversense 365 learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox one year, one CGM.
Elle 14:48
Well, my dad had a drinking problem, and it got physical between them and my mom, not that she's ever said it, but I've caught my mom having so you know, we used to live in the time of like a cordless phone. In a landline. So my mom worked downstairs from our apartment. My family owned a business in town. My mom had the cordless phone downstairs. I had the landline upstairs. The phone rang. I answered it. My mom was chit chatting with a friend, and basically had said that she was unfaithful to my dad. And I heard the conversation, and I just after that, I was just like, wow, you know,
Scott Benner 15:21
so your dad drank, got physical with your mom, your mom then cheated, and then you heard about it pretty much, yeah, okay, and now you're mad at her for cheating on him. Why are you not mad at him for hitting her? I'm
Elle 15:35
mad at both of them, to be perfectly honest. I'm mad at both of them, but my mom has just this way about her that, not that I can understand why my dad would get physical, but it's like she kind of like pressures it and then victimizes it. If that makes sense, I'm not saying what my dad did was right. I'm not justifying that at all, right. But, you know, my mom was a second wife, so she had a lot of you know, my dad loved his first wife, you know, and they just didn't work out. And I just don't think that my dad loved my mom the way he loved his first wife.
Scott Benner 16:07
Oh, gosh, that's all very well, but that's all very like, complicated. It is, it is. So then my point is, you can't go back in time. No, nobody can, right? So you're only all you can do is move forward from where you are. If you asked her to apologize, she'd probably be like, for what?
Elle 16:25
No, exactly, that's what it is, too. I don't even think she realizes the the damage that's been done. And my father has apologized to me. You know, my father's like, you know, I know I made some horrible decisions. Like my dad has. Me and my dad have a great relationship because we've gone through the motions of that, but my mom, I feel like, will never admit that she had a part in their divorce, and I feel like she just thinks like she's the victim, and that that might not be the case. But
Scott Benner 16:52
before you and I started recording, we were talking and I shared with you that I've recently learned that a person who's in the diabetes space, who I think of as like an awesome force in this space, somebody who I'm very supportive of anytime I can be I have a very good feeling about the work that they do for people with diabetes, that I just learned recently, that this person who I have a lot of respect for and have not, not one ill feeling For that person believes that I don't like them, yeah, and therefore then goes around telling people that I'm a bad guy. And so my point is, by sharing that little like, it's not, not a real deep look into what's going on there. But my point is, is that, like, do you remember how you responded to me? Isn't perception crazy? Yeah, exactly. Uh huh. So think about your mom and your situation, and say to yourself, isn't perception crazy? It is, what do you get out of not having a relationship with her? You just get to feel what like you're right.
Elle 17:55
I feel peaceful. I just feel like even okay. So, like I said, me and my mom have always had, like, a very, like tough relationship. So I feel like anytime I give a pass or we patch things up, something happens where she triggers something in me and it I see red and I just want to explode. I feel like loving her from a distance is just kind of the way I deal with it.
Scott Benner 18:21
Yeah. I mean, listen, that might be how you end up dealing with it. I'm not saying otherwise. I would tell you that. You know, you have you said you have two kids. How old are they? Six
Elle 18:29
and two boys, girls. I have one boy who's six and a daughter who's two.
Scott Benner 18:34
Imagine if one day one of those kids talked about you the way you're talking about your mom right
Elle 18:38
now, I know, and that's why I always say, I feel like my relationship with her has made me like a better mom, because I never want that to happen.
Scott Benner 18:45
Ah, but you know who gets to decide if that's true? My children, that's right. I know. Yeah. Wait till they decide. It's a crazy thing. It's a crazy thing. So what's the best bet? Forgiveness? Yeah, it is.
Elle 18:59
It's it's hard to forgive. It's hard to forgive when, and I think that's why I need that sorry, so that I am able to forgive her. But the thing is, I'm not gonna ask for a sorry, but I'll probably never get it, because I don't think she thinks I need a sorry. If that makes sense, it's
Scott Benner 19:15
a shame you're not Canadian. They apologize constantly.
Elle 19:17
That'd be awesome. I'm good. I'm good in Jersey.
Scott Benner 19:21
So, okay, so All right, so that. So we have a pretty good feeling for who you know, for what your situation is there with that,
Elle 19:27
getting diagnosed diabetic, in that, that mess, was just not ideal.
Scott Benner 19:31
No, you know, it's obviously bad time, like, yeah, probably not perfectly suited for the situation to begin with your mom, not at all. And then, you know, put her in this situation. Who knows it sucks, like I'm not gonna say otherwise, and I'm sorry, that's your situation and hers, by the way, having said that, so you had to grow up taking care of yourself and your diabetes,
Elle 19:53
basically. Yeah, it felt that way. I'm sure, looking back, my mom thinks she did a lot and she did, I'm sure she did. Yeah, but I remember taking care of myself as soon as I like, like, I said I was able to I was just kind of like, fell into my lap, and I just went running from there, right?
Scott Benner 20:08
I hear you listen the other day, Arden, I was talking to Arden about something, and she goes, you don't even know what you're talking about. And I was like, Wait, I don't know. And I was like, I don't know how to respond to that. Like, I'm like, what I'm telling you is 1,000% correct. I've gotten this information from 25 different doctors and 1000 different people living with diabetes, and like you can trust that this idea is right. But in the end, she still, I'm still her father, and once in a while she looks at me like us old guy doesn't know what he's saying. So how old is she now? 21 she's almost 21 Yeah, yeah, yeah, a new phase of life. Yeah, it's all so exciting. It is okay, so you're but I want to figure out what's going on. Like, when you're growing up feeling alone, whether you are or not. Like, what does that do to you and your your relationship with
Elle 20:55
diabetes? Oh, my God, I had the worst relationship with diabetes, because, again, diabetes wasn't as not to say popular, but not so many people had it. I went to a private school growing up. I was the only person that had it up until, like, my last year, a friend. I still talk to her till this day, we went to high school together. We connect sometimes on Instagram, like just chat, keep each other up to date. We were pregnant at the same time. So like hardly anybody had it, like hardly anybody I knew had diabetes. I'm the only person in my family with diabetes. Nobody else has type one. I didn't know anybody with type one, so it definitely made me feel super isolated, super alone. I hid it as long as I could. So in elementary school, you know, obviously I would have to go to the nurse before snack and lunch and dose and check my sugar there. But once, I was in high school, I went to a public high school, which was very different from what I grew up. Going to, you know, there was a little bit more freedom. I could go to the bathroom and check my sugar there. Nobody knew I had diabetes. I didn't have a CGM. I didn't have a pump, so it was very easy to hide, and I just felt like, well, if I hit if I hide it, nobody can ask me questions. Nobody can make me feel different, nobody can make me feel isolated, and that's just kind of what I did up until I went to college. And how did it change? In college, I had even more freedom. I lived it. I went my first year in college, I was in Miami. I had a roommate. My parents would ship my insulin to my apartment, and that's when I really started going out. The nightlife, you know, over in Miami is obviously way different. I didn't have a curfew. I could eat whatever the heck I wanted, so it was just very different. Cocaine, no, not in Miami. No, Miami. That's not right. I have I, I'm not gonna lie. I there was a time where I was like a party animal in my 20s. Thankfully, it's nothing. I got addicted to. I tried it, realized I didn't like it, and went about my business. But no, Miami was just a lot of drinking. In Miami,
Scott Benner 22:47
are you taking care of your diabetes then, like, and, I mean, you're doing something, but what does
Elle 22:52
that look like? So I was, I wasn't taking care of my diabetes the way I should have. I was not checking my sugar. I maybe checked it in the morning when I woke up. So I will say, kind of checked it like a type two. I checked it in the morning. I checked it at night. I would do my long acting insulin and maybe short acting insulin before a meal, maybe. So my a, 1c during that time was probably like 10, like horrible, horrible care neglect, just not covering meals, even, yeah, no, hardly ever. And while that's happening, I mean, you can look back now, like, what did you think you were doing? So I actually had a conversation with a friend recently who was like, Well, if I, if I acted like it wasn't there, I thought it wasn't there until, you know, the DK hits in and then you're like, oh, like, yeah, I have diabetes. That's kind of when she said that, I was like, wow, that was like, life in the in my early 20s, that's what it was. Did you ever end up in the hospital? Mm, hmm, yeah. Oh, yeah. 2008 I was 20 years old. I had just come back from Miami. I dropped out of fashion school, and I was literally partying, not taking care of myself, and I ended up in a diabetic coma for a couple days, just because I also didn't have insurance after Miami, because I dropped out of school, I didn't have a full time job, so my parents insurance didn't cover me any longer, so I was basically rationing insulin, trying to survive. And I ended up in a diabetic coma for a couple of days, and then I was like, well, I need to get my ass together and, like, get it together and figure it out, because I'm going to die if I
Scott Benner 24:20
don't tell people what that means. Like, you were unconscious for days.
Elle 24:25
Yeah. So my best friend and I, we were supposed to go to, like, a family party. Her uncle is my sister's Godfather, so our families are very close, and it was, I believe, her cousin's communion party, and they live in, like a pack on. We lived in Hudson County, so she's like, I'll pick you up. We'll drive together. I was like, okay, cool. She said that morning, I wasn't answering my phone, which is very unlike me, and she came into my house and she said I was on the bathroom floor passed out. My lips were blue. I was breathing cold air. And she called my mom, and she was like, she is like, down and out on the floor. Like, what do I do? And my mom was like, did she have her insulin? She was like, What do you mean? I didn't even tell my friend at this point that I had diabetes. That's how well I hid it. And she took me to the ER, and I was in a coma for a couple of days. And I always ask them, like, how long was I in that coma for? And literally, nobody knows. They were like, we don't even we didn't even count the days. We were just trying to keep you
Scott Benner 25:15
alive. Geez. And now, Did that scare you into taking care of yourself? Or no, 100%
Elle 25:20
it did okay. 100 so I did. I got myself together. I started checking my insulin, checking my sugar, giving myself insulin. I was on pens at this time, but again, I didn't have insurance, so I was, like, trying to get into, like, you know, the programs that they have. I was going to, I'm sure you're familiar with it. In Jersey. I was going to university hospital. They would give me, like, samples. And I was there, like, every three months, checking and, you know, getting myself together. I did fall off a couple times where it's just like, I want to eat this and I, you know, I don't feel like going to the bathroom and taking insulin, but it was never as bad as it was before the coma.
Scott Benner 25:55
Okay? And so that's almost 20 years ago. It's like 17, not 17 years ago. Yeah, describe the difference between now and then. How do you manage yourself now and what do you think the process was to getting you from there to here?
Elle 26:11
So like I said, I did have a miscarriage in 2017 my husband and I started dating in 2016 He's the first person I ever dated that I was very upfront with Hey. I told him, on our third date, I have diabetes. I'm like, if, if that's like, you know you're out and you don't want to deal with me. You want to run for the hills. I completely understand it. He looked at me, he laughed. He said, My mom has diabetes. And I said, what does she have? Type two? And he was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, not the same. I'm just like, so
Scott Benner 26:37
here's the joke. He didn't know why he should run from you, but the diabetes is the least of
Elle 26:41
it. Exactly. He was thinking, like, he had no idea, and he was just like, no, like, I get it. I like, you know, whatever wanted to stick around. It's funny because after I told him that, literally, like, 20 minutes, I saw my first shooting star ever in my life, and I was like, Wow, maybe this is like, meant to be. So after that, I still wasn't on a pump, I still wasn't on a CGM. And then my husband and I got pregnant just very spontaneously. It wasn't a decision that we made. It just literally happened. And I was shocked, because an endo after my coma told me, good luck getting pregnant. You're never gonna have kids. Your Diabetes is So, you know, not taken care of. So I never even thought that I could get pregnant. And then I got
Scott Benner 27:20
pregnant. But that's like, nine years later, though, right after the
Elle 27:23
Yeah, this was okay, so that was 2008 This was 2016 so eight years later.
Scott Benner 27:29
So tell me something so between the 2008 incident and you getting pregnant the first time, you're trying harder, but that's not saying a lot, because you were, like, literally not bolusing for meals sometimes. So, like, right? So what did that time look like for you? So
Elle 27:44
my husband was kind of like, what's your sugar? Did you take your medicine? But there would be times where I would just, like, fall off, you know, like, it would just be, like, so exhausted for how
Scott Benner 27:53
long? What would a break look like in time, like, if you just stopped taking care of yourself as well? Did that go on just for a day, just for a meal, it was, oh, it
Elle 28:02
would probably just be, honestly, around the time of my period, I would just be like, lazy and just not want to do anything. I would want to eat all the junk. But it catches
Scott Benner 28:10
up to you. Yeah? Once a month, you'd be like, I'm not doing
Elle 28:13
f this. Yeah, basically, okay. And again, very easy to do. I wasn't on a pump, I wasn't on a CGM, so I felt like that kind of hindered my diabetes a lot, because I was like, if I'm, you know, I'm not. Now I look at my Dexcom a million times a day back then, I didn't even know what my sugar was sometimes, and I would just go about life like, like, nothing, you know, very scary actually, thinking about it and talking about it. Now I'm like, I was really playing Russian roulette with my health. Like, what was I thinking?
Scott Benner 28:40
Yeah, I know. Listen to looking backwards is sometimes very educational. Yeah. So are you telling me that your first wake up call that got you from, like, literally not bolusing for meals half the time was 2008 but then the next one is 2007 the miscarriage that gets you, that brings you, like, levels you up again.
Elle 29:01
Yep, the miscarriage changed my life completely, because after that finding out, and it's crazy, because I found out I miscarried, like, literally a year to the day that I met my husband, and then I was like, Okay, I need to get it together. That was August 28 I had to have a procedure done because me and my husband, ironically, were going away to Mexico to celebrate our anniversary, and the doctor was like, I can't let you go over there and miscarry naturally. She's like, I just can't do it, especially as a diabetic. God forbid something happened. So she was like, I just feel comfortable doing a DNC, if you're okay with that. And I said, that's fine. Like, what's the recovery like? And she's like, you'll be okay. She's like, we just can't go in water. I was like, ma'am, I'm going to Mexico. But whatever, it worked out. We went during a hurricane, so we didn't really go in the water much. Anyway, when we came back from Mexico, I went to the doctor that week, and I got on a pump within a couple of days of that. So I was like, I need to get it together. Because after I miscarried, I was like, I want a baby. I knew I could get pregnant. And that was just like, my goal. I was like, I. Have a baby, and my husband was all on board. He was like, let's do it. Let's get you healthy. Let's try again.
Scott Benner 30:05
And while you're talking about it here, you can reflectively see this was a show, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. But did you know? But did you know it was while it was happening?
Elle 30:15
I did. Okay. This is gonna sound absolutely insane. I did, but because I had done it for so long. For me, it felt normal. It felt normal. I felt like I was as long as I was waking up the next morning. I felt like I was doing okay,
Scott Benner 30:29
yeah. That's, you know, that's the most human thing anybody's ever said, yeah, yeah. I felt
Elle 30:35
like, as long as I always say, I wasn't living, I was surviving. At that time, my body was in trauma all of the time, you know? Yeah, and then when I did check my sugar and I would see, like, 350 I'd be like, Wow, that's really high. Like, imagine if I was just I kept going without knowing, you know what I mean, I was always shocked when I looked at the meter and it was high, because I never knew what my sugar was.
Scott Benner 30:56
You were shocked by it, even though you weren't shocked. Yeah, I'd be like, Oh my God, oh, my God. Let's pause for a second to ask you, did you functionally understand how all this worked, like how insulin worked, why you were taking it, how foods impacted different glycemic
Elle 31:11
you saying that? No, I didn't. I think that I was so young when I was diagnosed, and again, this was like dark ages of diabetes, right? We didn't have internet, like the way we do now. We didn't have Tiktok or Facebook or even podcasts. We didn't have resources at our fingertips the way that we do now that I don't, I honestly don't think I did understand it. Yeah, I remember, in 2008 after coming out of the coma, I was at the clinic at University Hospital, and I started crying to this one doctor, and I was like, I just wake up and my sugar is high. He's like, Honey, you have diabetes. I was just like, it's so frustrating, you know? And I was like, wow. Like, that's what really clicked for me. I was like, my sugar is high in the morning because I'm not producing insulin. Like, it really took me a while for it to click for me. Like, this is really a serious thing,
Scott Benner 31:58
yeah. I mean, it took you along. It took you a couple of different setbacks to to see it. So do you think that it was easier to climb out after the miscarriage? Like, is it, I want to have kids, so I need to figure this out. And was it easier to figure out because you had the support of a person who's like, Okay, we'll do it together. 100% my
Elle 32:16
husband is the most supportive person when it comes to my diabetes. He is every morning, he texts me, good morning, babe. What's your sugar? Or he'll look at the app. You know, he's just very probably the most supportive person I have. Actually, after our miscarriage, I was on the I got on the Medtronic, the 670 G that was in September, in December. I didn't know that this could happen. My cannula bet in the pump, and I went into DKA, and I remember him coming home from work, and I'm like, over the toilet, I'm like, I need to go to the hospital. I was like, I have ketones. I've been throwing up. I'm so dehydrated. And he like, didn't really know what DKA was, but he like, didn't waste a breath. He packed a bag. He literally picked me up out of off the bathroom floor, took me to the hospital, stayed with me. And he was like, Babe, this is terrifying. I'm like, I know. I'm like, but this is diabetes. But he was like, what? Like, what happened? He's like, you haven't ate anything bad. He's like, you've been dosing for insulin. He's like, shocked, yeah. And I think that's when it really woke him up. And was like, wow, this is like, this is a serious thing, but crazy,
Scott Benner 33:15
isn't it? Just to think that, like, you can do everything, right, but if a tube gets a kink in it, you could still end up in the hospital.
Elle 33:21
Yeah, that that happened to me, actually, last week. Same thing. Well, I forgot to put the Omnipod in manual mode. So I work four to 12. I got off of work at midnight. I had my my pump in manual mode because I did an extended Bolus for my meal before that, forgot to put it in automated mode. And my manual mode I'm typically I run low. I go in the 40s the 50s. So I had just switched my rates, just so that I don't drop that low. In case I ever forget to switch to automated. And I wake up Monday morning my sugar just reads high, like, high and just like, What the heck. I throw up. I check my ketones. My ketones are the darkest color on the strip. And I'm like, this isn't even something I could have avoided. Could have avoided. I was sleeping for seven hours. You know what I mean? So I think stuff like that just makes you realize that diabetes really like I always say, the most offensive thing you can say to a diabetic is you just have diabetes, because it's so much more than that. The littlest things can really throw off your whole flow.
Scott Benner 34:20
Life is fragile, and you know, there's a lot of processes between you and health, especially when you have type one. There's an example that's not the OmniPods fault. You didn't put it back and automate you. You made your manual settings too weak, and then you didn't go back into automated and there you go. You wake up and you know, you've got ketones in there, and they're significant. Did you have to go to the hospital for that? Or did you know how to manage through it
Elle 34:42
on your own? No, I went to the hospital. He did. And what did they IV, nothing. Insulin, drip, IV, fluids, electrolytes. I was out the
Scott Benner 34:49
next day. Okay, do you think that'll happen again? Do you have that feeling of like this is a thing that's going to keep happening to me? Or do you feel like you can get a process in
Elle 34:59
place? Well, no. Because now I have integrated in my head that before I close my eyes, when I check my sugar, I grab my pump and make sure it's in automated mode. Now it's like another, you know, put it on my tab, type of thing for diabetes, like another thing I have to make sure about now before I go to bed, yeah, you know, do you feel
Scott Benner 35:16
like your husband is in place of what you wanted from your
Elle 35:19
mom? No, actually, you know who I feel like is in place of what I wanted as a mom. It's the type one moms I connect with now online. Online,
Scott Benner 35:28
yeah, and you tell people, you know, we haven't even said anything. Tell people how you do that.
Elle 35:33
Oh, so a couple weeks ago, it's actually 19 weeks ago, I decided, after like that huge Tiktok ban, that if Tiktok came back, I would start a Tiktok account and just dedicate it to diabetes content and making connections and building a community, because growing up, I never had that, and I feel like that's where I really missed out, sure. And I just kind of was like, I want to see eyes as like a new diabetic coming into this community. And I made a Tiktok account, I've made some really great connections, and I got live access on that account pretty quickly, which you need a certain amount of followers, which I didn't even have that amount of followers, and I got live access. So I went on, and I just started talking about diabetes. I started telling my diagnosis story. And people were just coming in. They're like, Hey, I have type one for this many years. You know, I was diagnosed here. I'm on this pump, I'm on this CGM, and just, like, really, just, you know, genuine communication, yeah. And then the next day I went on, I did diabetes trivia, which people were coming in. I'm like, Oh, all right, more people are coming in, more connections, some of the same old faces from yesterday. And then I said, How funny would it be if I, like, open up my tick tock boxes and we do like, a live like, you know, back in like, covid days, PE, that's all people were doing, yeah. And I was like, We could call it something corny, like type one Tuesdays. And then the light bulb went off, and I was like, All right, let me reach out to some of these connections I've made and see if they want to join me. And I'm thinking, nobody's gonna show up. And the first type one Tuesdays was the following week. I believe it was February 11. All of the boxes were full, which is nine boxes, so eight people that I really didn't know, including myself. And then there's like a queue, you know, people requesting to come up. There was like 20 people in the queue. And I was like, wow. Like, this is not what I thought it was gonna be. It was like, so much better. I was like, gonna be grateful if one person showed up and we had like 20 people trying to, you know, come in and talk, and it really just, like, opened up my mind. I was like, All right, well, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna keep doing this. So every week I reach out to people to see kind of like it's, I call it like a podcast on Tiktok. I bring people up, we talk, we hang out. I open up the boxes, you know, nice. It's like a little therapy session. Yeah? No, it definitely is awesome, yeah. But the moms that I've I've made connections with on type one Tuesdays. You had Shelby on recently with Paisley and and tracker. She's a really good friend of mine. I don't know if you know little Bane on Tiktok. He's a little two year old about to be two year old. Me and Marley have become really great friends. Jomo. You've had Jomo on a couple people you've had on, I'm like, very close with, but like the moms I connect with more, because not only are we very close in age, but I see the way that they care for their kids. And I'm like, That's exactly what I would have wanted. Yeah, you know, and that's where you're finding that, that feeling from, I feel like it's very healing. You said that kid's name Bane. I think his mom's scheduled to come on. Yeah, she is next month. I think, Oh, awesome. That's great. She's become one of my really great friends, like when I was in DK, she's like, elle, you need to get to the hospital right now. And then I got out of the hospital Tuesday and I was like, Oh, I think I'm gonna do type one Tuesdays tonight. And she's like, You need to rest. Like, okay, you're right.
Scott Benner 38:28
It's awesome. You need somebody to tell you what to do. Sometimes I'm very stubborn. I was gonna say everybody needs other once in a while, somebody just to look in the face and be like, I don't know what you think's happening right now, but yeah, calm down for a second so we can figure this out. Yeah, for real, your kids, do you worry that they might get type one? Do you have other autoimmune in your family?
Elle 38:47
So there's no Well, my mom had not. My mom, my grandmother, had a thyroid issue. So when I, you know, obviously, at all my appointments, I make sure they're checking my thyroid, but no other autoimmune issues. I'm the only one with type one. So I did okay. This is kind of where I'm, like, conflicted a little bit. So I got the trial net kit to test both of my kids. It arrived, and I just felt like, this feeling of like, maybe I don't want to know, maybe I don't want to know if they have antibodies yet. I said to my husband, I said, I feel like, just because of the way I am, I'm a very anxious person. I'm like, if I know that it's an underlying issue, I feel like it would make me more anxious about everything I said, whereas if I see a symptom, like, if I see like my kids are sleepy or hungry or extra thirsty, I have the means to check their sugar. I have meters. I have strips. I can always check and go from there. So I have the trial net kit. I do worry about them getting type one, especially like my son, like, a couple weeks ago, he was just downing water, and then there was one point he had an accident. I was like, get over here. I was like, we're checking your sugar, but his sugar was fine. But I do do that. Like once every once in a while, I do check their sugar. Probably, like once every two months I check their sugar, but, I mean, I have the. Can't. I can always send it if I feel differently, but I just feel like, if I know, like, there's an underlying, like antibody, that it would I would be a paranoid, neurotic freak.
Scott Benner 40:09
There's two. There's definitely one or two ways to think about it. Hey, are you sure your mom didn't have a thyroid problem or doesn't not that I know of Yeah. I mean, her mom did, right?
Elle 40:17
Her mom did. Yeah, my grandma did. Do you? I don't, thankfully, knock on wood, but you know, it's like in threes. It's graves, thyroid, diabetes, celiac, so it comes in fours.
Scott Benner 40:29
But like, do you? Do you have any symptoms of thyroid issues? No, thankfully not. No good. And your mom, how about anything else? Like your mom, have any mental health stuff?
Elle 40:37
Not mental health. I think that she she she could benefit from therapy, but has never done it. I'm very big into therapy. Now. I started going to therapy probably my first year of college, and I still go to this day. I'm still in therapy. I feel like there's not enough therapy for me, for for the trauma I've dealt with. You
Scott Benner 40:55
mentioned your mom is having health issues. Though. What are those issues are you? Can you tell me if
Elle 40:59
they are? Yes. So recently, she had, like, a really bad gallbladder incident where she had to have that taken out. She was on oxygen. Recently, both of my parents heavy smokers, so probably emphysema. COPD, I don't really know if she's ever gotten a diagnosis of that. Gosh, I think in the beginning of May, she had an accident where she fell and she, like, fractured her ankle very badly. She's already needed three surgeries for that. So sorry. That's terrible, very fragile. Yeah,
Scott Benner 41:27
yeah, that's crazy. So when you think of coming on a podcast to talk about your diabetes, what is it you hope to leave with people when, when this is over,
Elle 41:36
what I'm doing now is kind of like what I hoped for as a child, like somebody that gets it, understands it, doesn't sit there and portray like a perfect diabetic, because I am nowhere near that. And somebody who like, I think the most wholesome comments I get is when people, you know, doing type one Tuesdays, people come in like they see you on the FYP, you know, and if they hear what you like, they're gonna come in and they're gonna chat with you, I feel like once I started type one Tuesdays, the comments that I started receiving, the the ones that I that brought tears to my eyes, would be like, when people would be like, you know, I haven't really been taking care of myself for the last week or so. Like, it's just feeling so overwhelming. But listening to what you were saying on type one Tuesdays, like, I made sure I took my insulin today. I made sure I checked my sugar, like things like that. You know, just kind of like being somebody I wish I had during the time when diabetes felt
Scott Benner 42:29
rough. You've been in that situation too, where you haven't given yourself insulin, right? Yeah, how many of the people who are talking to you on social media do you think are are similar to you, like their stories are similar to yours, because, like, I have a fairly big community, right? And especially on Facebook, I don't hear a lot of people telling me I don't take my insulin, right? Is it because I'm attracting people who think about diabetes the way I do? That's true. And is that what's happening to you? Are you attracting the people who like vibe with you, whether you whether you even know it or not, because I've never thought of it that way, actually, until you just said something. Just now, it's not like, I'm like, Oh, I have said to people in the past, I think that Facebook group follows my vibe, meaning, like, you know, be cool to people. And like, everybody's got a story, let them have it. Like, you know, let people talk, you know, try to share what you know works with other, each other. But like, I wonder if the underlying vibe is also, like, people who are trying, aggressively trying to be healthy. Yeah. Do you think that's happening? Do you think you're attracting people who will say, Oh, gosh, I don't take my
Elle 43:31
insulin a lot. I don't think it's obviously I'm taking my insulin now. And like, you know my a, 1c, is great. But I think that my story might resonate with people who are maybe not not taking care of themselves, or maybe just going through that temporary diabetic burnout, you know, because that happens, people think like, Oh no, diabetic burnout isn't a real thing. It's all in your head, but it is like having something attached to you at all times. I know there's times where I get sick of it and like, when my Dexcom expires, I'll leave it off for an hour or two now just to get some like, Oh, my arms are free. You know what I mean? There's people probably going through that burnout that, you know, just like, oh gosh, somebody who understands it, somebody who gets it. So not saying that my community is people who aren't taking insulin. I think what's great about my community is that I am connecting with people who are so on top of their care, now that I am influenced by them, you know what I mean, like, so we have, like, a little type one Tuesday chat, and there's a gentleman in there who shares every unicorn he gets. And when I tell you, this guy's got 667, unicorns a day, and I'm like, man, like, That is impressive. But there are people. There's a young girl who comes in who she's like, I love Dr Pepper. I can't stop drinking Dr Pepper. My sugars in the four hundreds. And I'm like, Girl, put the Dr Pepper down. It's a very eclectic group of people we have, but so there was just a message, and I'll read it to you. This was literally the first week after type one Tuesday. She said, Hey, l, I happen to join your live tonight. For the first time. I've been struggling to find another t1, To connect with currently going through a tough time with my sugars and your life helped me feel not alone. Thank you for sticking around and like that was like, the first message that, like, choked me up. I was like, Oh my God. Like I just started this as a passion project, not thinking like I was going to help anybody. And just like that one message alone made it worth it for me. You know what? I mean.
Scott Benner 45:18
Listen, I got an email in 2007 from England, and I was writing a blog. And I don't even know if I knew it was a blog at that point. Like, like, you know what I mean? Like, it was pretty much before blogging was really a thing, and I was just literally writing on a piece of software that was on my computer. And I never forget, like, I opened up that software. It was called I web, and the selling point of it was you could write something and people online could read it. And I was like, Oh, that's awesome, but that's how old I am, and how new of an idea it was back then, right? And, like, a month into it, I get a really nice letter from the UK, and this woman's just like, your blog is really helping me and my daughter. And I was, like, awesome. Like, half of me was like, a blog, like, what I didn't even know what I realized I know what I was doing really, like, I'm being serious, you know, yeah, and that was the first time I felt it 2007 and at some point today, I'm gonna go online and I'm gonna read dozens of those notes, and it doesn't get old. Is what I'm done, is what I'm telling you. It's awesome. It really is fantastic. And it her message to you, like, thanks for sticking around, like, and doing this thing. Like, that's the part. I think that there's times I'm most proud of that part. Like, is the keeping it going, the consistency? Yeah, because that's the hardest part. It's very difficult once you get into the other side of it. Like, how does this all get, like, financed and, you know, like, how is it possible that, you know, on Tuesday, at 130 in the afternoon, I'm recording something with you that somebody won't hear for two months, right? The way you finance it and keep it going and everything that's boring and whatnot. Well, I'm talking about the getting up every day and having one of these conversations, or sometimes to or, you know what, yesterday, I'll, you know how many times I recorded an episode yesterday? I can only imagine. I made three yesterday. Yeah, I was gonna say yeah. So yesterday I recorded with I recorded something with Jenny that you won't hear for five months. I recorded something with the president of Dexcom that you'll hear on Saturday. And I recorded a conversation with a woman in her 40s that you'll probably hear a number of months from now. To say that that was my entire day, that would be a lie. I also did a ton of social media. I did like all these things that it's so that somebody can come say, Hey, I appreciate that this information was here when I needed
Elle 47:37
it, right? There's a lot of behind the scenes that people don't see. It's massive, actually. Yeah, it's, it's great. I didn't realize it doing this just, like, for fun. And then I was like, Well, I got to get this ready and this ready and have a topic, and have people lined up. And, you know, there's just so much that goes on that it looks easy because it's so well put together, but there's so much that goes into it.
Scott Benner 47:59
Yeah, fun is, like, the last word I would use to describe it, yeah, I'm having fun talking to you. And like, Thank you. No, no, no, you're you're lovely. And, you know, there's other parts to it, like, you'll see the longer you keep going, like, there's part of me that, like, there's like a gamification to it, even just to keep me, like, keep me attached to it, right? Like, that's where like downloads come from. I know I'm reaching people because of the reaction I get back. Yeah, of course, honestly, it wouldn't matter what the numbers said like and I got
Elle 48:26
it going on for so long, if you didn't resonate with mostly everybody,
Scott Benner 48:31
well, I'm saying the numbers, they're not even important like you. You could make an argument. Well, they're important to the advertisers. Trust me, the advertisers care if you click on a link, right? So if you're clicking on my link, they're happy with me. They don't care if I have 1,000,002 million, 3 million downloads this year. They don't care, as long as their links are getting clicked, right? So they're they're being satisfied, they're fine. My point is, is that I don't care about the downloads, like, I care about the feedback. You know what I mean? Like, I know I'm doing well when I hear from people. Yeah, that's the most important part, but then how to keep that going for tomorrow and the next day? Like, it's simple to say, like, Oh, it's a podcast. Well, I'll just make one a week. Well, you can if you want, but you have a hobby, then you don't have a podcast. Yeah, and every day that you're not putting out content is a day that people aren't being drawn into the community, is a day that you might not find that girl who wrote you that note,
Elle 49:19
which is why I was so nervous about taking off last week. But when Marley was like, elle, you need to rest, yes, and it's true, because even my friend Jomo, you know, when I started this new job in March, he was like, elle, you have like, five full time jobs, like, how are you managing it? And I'm like, I'm not. I'm literally running off of fumes right now. I don't know how I'm doing it, yes, but it is by the grace of God that I'm still doing it. I'm still showing up, I'm still putting out content. I'm still having, like, you know, things where people can interact, like, in my stories, like, it's another full time job this social media. And I think, you know, from people behind closed doors, it looks very simple and it looks easy to also do, but it's, it's a lot, you
Scott Benner 49:59
know, I. Be I'm completely honestly, I'm looking at my whiteboard right? I'll tell you right now, ever since tandem, Omnipod, Dexcom, us, med contour, next gen, cozy Earth, T, 1d, exchange, touched by type one and Medtronic, if it wasn't for them, I couldn't do this, and I would, and I wouldn't do it, because I don't know how you're doing, what you're doing, and you're not doing nearly as much as I'm doing. No, I'm not right. If I had a full time job and two little kids and I would and diabetes, I wouldn't be on here going, like, hey, come find me on, you know, diabetes Tuesday. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I would type one Tuesday. I'd be like, I'm tired. Yeah, you know, you said it a couple of times. It probably looks easy from the outside. And I don't know if it looks easy to people or not, but what I can tell you is, is that the thing I'm doing takes about 1000 times more effort than you imagine. No, I believe it. I believe it. It's overwhelming, and still it is, the numbers, the, you know, the downloads. I'll say it sometimes because I'm proud of it, but like, you know, I've been in the top 30 of the US medicine category for like, seven years.
Elle 51:10
I remember when I told my dad I was going to do this podcast. He Googled you, and he's like, Wow, look how high up he is
Scott Benner 51:16
on the podcast. Why is this guy talking to you? Yeah, my dad was so excited. Well, I'm happy. I'll tell you that. Hi, I'm happy to talk to you. Is it okay to share that you tried to be on other diabetes podcasts, and they didn't, they didn't respond to you. Okay? So before we started recording, I was like, I was so surprised you responded to me because I reached out to other diabetes podcasts that are not nearly as big as yours, and they were not interested. And you know, I didn't answer you then, but I'll answer you now, because you just said you're surprised to be here. I don't know what those people are looking for, but I'm just looking for regular people to talk about their diabetes. Yeah, that's all I care about. I don't need to talk to somebody who's been on 17 different YouTube channels and 10 different podcasts. And, you know, I don't care about somebody who's gonna spend next week while all those people are at Ada, buttering people up and trying to get content deals, and they're, you know, making videos like running around talking about all the, you know, all the manufacturers new stuff, so they can go out and show for those companies, so that they're, you know, they hope to build a relationship with them. Like, that's, I see what's going on, right? Yeah, while those people are doing that, I'm gonna be on a cruise with 100 listeners, getting to know people, like one on one, like building my understanding of what, like, an actual community in person connection means, because I'd like to build on that going forward. And for those of you who are now going like, oh, yeah, sure, Scott, but you're getting paid for that, I'm going to tell you something right now. I'm not going to make $1 off of that cruise. I'm going on that cruise. It's going to be me and 100 listeners. And when the person who coordinated it said, like, we have to build in private time for you, we have to build and rest, I said, I am going to speak with every person on that ship at length before we
Elle 53:01
get off of it? Yeah? And I think that that's what makes the biggest difference. Yeah, I don't
Scott Benner 53:06
care if I'm exhausted when I get off of that ship. And I don't care that. Like, you know, we didn't sell it out with 500 people, and I didn't make some money off of it. Like, I don't she got paid. Everybody's getting their thing. It's going to be a great time. We got some brilliant touch by type one. And Omnipod sponsored it so that we got some nice stuff to give people. I've got Erica coming on and doing a live talk, you know, over zoom. I've got Jenny coming on doing a live talk over zoom. Did I want them on the ship? I did. If 200 people would have come on the cruise, would we have had them there? We would have maybe we'll get it accomplished next year, that'll be great. But if not, I don't care. I care about meeting those people, and I care about them meeting each other and building some sort of a relationship outside of online. You know,
Elle 53:53
I think that's the biggest thing, is making that connection. Because, like I said, I've obviously didn't have a community growing up of my own, and I feel like, had I had that, I feel like my relationship with diabetes would have been 100% different, because now I don't look at diabetes negatively. I always looked at it as like a character flaw, really. I was like, wow, I hate having this disease. Wow. I hate that. I'm so, you know, different than everybody else. I hate that I can't even just eat this cookie without checking my sugar. I'm sorry. I'm like, very eager to keep my diabetes in the forefront of everything I do. And I'm like, Wow. 25 years later, I've had this in my back pocket the whole time, but I feel like there's a reason for sure that it's happening now, like there's a specific reason why it's happening now, do I know what it is? No, but maybe it's for you know, to meet you and go on the cruise next year that you know, like we're both from Jersey. How funny is that I
Scott Benner 54:46
know? I well, I wish you a ton of luck. I I think what you're doing is awesome. To show you what I think people don't understand about conversations like you shared some incredibly insightful and personal stuff about growing up through a divorce. About growing up with diabetes, about like, you know, like, those are that story is uniquely yours.
Elle 55:06
I think that's what I love about it. I feel like there's, you know, obviously everybody has a diabetic story, but I feel like nobody's story is very close to mine, in a sense. And I feel like I've never really shared my story. It's funny, because I was getting ready to do this podcast, and, you know, my friend said to me, you're always the one interviewing everybody else. You're getting interviewed for the first time. How do you feel? I'm like, it's just bizarre, because I've never really told my story this much in depth. And, you know, really, I'm, I'm feeling it, and I feel like every time I go through this process of, like, you know, just talking about even my diagnosis story, I'm like, it's, it's healing for me, which I feel like I needed,
Scott Benner 55:42
also the best way to connect with people. So you should do more of that on your thing. And those people who turned you down like, I hope they listen to this now and went, Oh, I could have had that conversation. I could have had that conversation with her, because I don't listen. I don't know how obvious it is if I'm like, ham fisted or I'm good enough at this that you don't see it coming, but I'm sitting here staring at a spot on the wall, listening to you right like I am trying to hear what you're saying. I'm trying to imagine the parts of your own story that you don't even understand. Like I'm trying to ask more questions to get you down that road. And I mean, I feel like I did a good job of pulling stuff out of you that, like, maybe they wouldn't have gotten, but at the same time, like, I don't know, I see what some of them put up for their content, and I'm just like, God, I would never do that. There's
Elle 56:27
so many doors that have opened up that I feel like the closed ones are okay, because I feel like, in a way, it's a little bit of protection, if that makes sense. You know how? So just because I feel like, obviously I'm very in tune with, like, I put God in the forefront of everything. Like, when I started type one Tuesdays, I said, God, if this is what I meant to do, like, give me a sign like, I'm very, like, sign driven. And I feel like, once I did it, like, things started opening up. Like we spoke previously, you know, I've had, now I have brands reaching out to me. Hey, can you post a video with this? We'll give you an affiliate link. And granted, I don't do that for the money, but it's the first time that somebody's taken interest in me, and what I'm doing to want to work with me in that way. And I'm like, Wow, I've never had that before. Yeah, I've done Tiktok shop, but that's Tiktok sending me a free sample. It's not people interested in me. Hey, you know, like, it has nothing to do with Tiktok. It's for their brand. And I'm like,
Scott Benner 57:20
I would take from that, if I was you, that you're you're making inroads, and the people are noticing what you're doing.
Elle 57:25
Yeah, yeah. And that's what I'm saying, like, doors are opening that have not opened before, and that's why I'm just, like, so happy to be doing what I'm doing, because it is a passion project. And obviously I hope to have, like, a bigger scale of type one Tuesdays in the future. Do I know what that's going to be No, but I'm going to ride it to the till the wheels fall off and just keep doing what I'm doing. And, you know, something happens, and it's in the will of God for me to be doing what I'm doing, then I'm just going to keep doing it. I kind of take my lead from God, but I feel like people saying no or not responding to my you know, wanting to be on their podcast, it's like, well, then that's not the place for you to be. That's not where I want you to be. And
Scott Benner 58:03
I would say, keep doing what feels right to you. This is awesome for you. Tell people your Tiktok
Elle 58:08
handle. So my Tiktok handle is t1, diaries, T, 1d, I, A, R, I, E, S. My name is L. And every night, every Tuesday night, at 10pm on tick tock, eastern standard time we go live and we talk to different people. Sometimes we have a bunch of diabetes in the box, and we just, honestly, just shoot the and just talk about it. Sometimes it's about how hard it is. You know, DKA, whatever the topic is that week, we'll just kind of go in together. And there's always a really great community, and it's a lot of fun. We have a good time doing it.
Scott Benner 58:37
Well, I'll tell you what. When yours gets on my calendar, if you, if you would like, I would come on and do your No way, sure. Of course, that'd be love
Elle 58:46
to have you on you will you come up in a lot of our chats, a lot of people you know are drawn to you and your content and your podcast, and you know your fan favorite over here on type one Tuesdays. I would
Scott Benner 58:56
love that. Awesome. Yeah. Well, we'll work it out in the future. I would love to be a supporter of what you're doing. So just Thanks, Scott, yeah, let me know. Okay, all right, hold on one second for me, this was awesome. You were terrific. Thank you.
This episode was sponsored by touched by type one. I want you to go find them on Facebook, Instagram and give them a follow, and then head to touched by type one.org where you're going to learn all about their programs and resources for people with type one diabetes. The podcast episode that you just enjoyed was sponsored by ever since CGM. They make the ever since 365 that thing lasts a whole year. One insertion every year. Come on. You probably feel like I'm messing with you, but I'm not. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox Summertime is right around the corner and Omnipod five is the only tube free automated insulin delivery system in the United States, because it's tube free, it's all. So waterproof and it goes wherever you go. Learn more at my link, omnipod.com/juicebox That's right. Omnipod is sponsoring this episode of the podcast, and at my link, you can get a free starter kit. Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcast and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? Hey, kids, listen up. You've made it to the end of the podcast. You must have enjoyed it. You know? What else you might enjoy? The private Facebook group for the Juicebox podcast. I know you're thinking, uh, Facebook, Scott, please. But no, beautiful group, wonderful people, a fantastic community Juicebox podcast. Type one diabetes on Facebook. Of course, if you have type two, are you touched by diabetes in any way? You're absolutely welcome. It's a private group, so you'll have to answer a couple of questions before you come in, but make sure you're not a bot or an evildoer. Then you're on your way. You'll be part of the family. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com,
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