Scott Benner 5/2/25 Scott Benner 5/2/25

#1510 Habit Lab: Build the System, Break the Cycle

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Ditch the 21-day hype—this episode dives into real goal-setting, sustainable habits, and the mindset shifts that make them stick. Learn how to build systems, not just wishlists, and turn motion into meaningful action.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Welcome back, friends. This is part three of my four part series on building good habits Breaking Bad ones and setting goals. Of course, I'm joined today by Erica Forsyth, who you can learn more about@ericaforsyfe.com Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. AG, one is offering my listeners a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of d3, k2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure you check out drink. AG, one.com/juicebox to get this offer, don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com check out my algorithm pumping series to help you make sense of automated insulin delivery systems like Omnipod five loop, Medtronic 780 G twist, tandem control, IQ and much more. Each episode will dive into the setup features and real world usage tips that can transform your daily type one diabetes management. We cut through the jargon, share personal experiences and show you how these algorithms can simplify and streamline your care. If you're curious about automated insulin pumping, go find the algorithm pumping series in the Juicebox Podcast. Easiest way Juicebox podcast.com, and go up into the menu, click on series, and it'll be right there. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you by my favorite diabetes organization, touched by type one, please take a moment to learn more about them at touched by type one.org, on Facebook and Instagram. Touched by type one.org. Check out their many programs, their annual conference awareness campaign, their D box program, dancing for diabetes. They have a dance program for local kids, a golf night and so much more touched by type one.org. You're looking to help, or you want to see people helping people with type one. You want touched by type one.org. I'm having an on body vibe alert. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by ever since 365 the only one year where CGM, that's one insertion and one CGM a year, one CGM one year, not every 10 or 14 days. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox the episode you're about to listen to is sponsored by tandem Moby, the impressively small insulin pump. Tandem Moby features tandems, newest algorithm control iq plus technology. It's designed for greater discretion, more freedom and improved time and range. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, Erica. We are back today. We're going to pick up where we left off the last time in our conversation about goal setting and habit building and breaking. So when we left off in the first episode, we were being a little more general. Today, we're going to dig down a little more into building a system, actually putting it into practice, being consistent.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:39
Yes, yes. So as I referenced in the first two episodes, I really like James clears book on atomic habits, and he really emphasizes, you know, we often are so focused on the end result that that can trip us up. And so he wants encourages us to focus on building a system, or the process of getting to your goal. And he says, You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. So we can talk about example of like a job, and then also in a diabetes example. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does.

Scott Benner 4:19
But I want to know a little more about why does the focus on the goal get in the way?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 4:26
A lot of it is because, as a society, and I think we might have mentioned this earlier, we're so focused on the end result. That's what we see, that's what we post in social media, that's what news reports, is the end result, and what often is not shared or reported or celebrated, is the daily grind to reach the goal. Okay, that's a part of our culture, our society. It's not newsworthy to say I got up and I pre bolused And I went and exercised and you. Five years later, this is my A, 1c, and this is how I feel and look and how I function, like we just we so focused on the end result. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:08
me almost like, if, if my doctor were to say to me, Hey, your vitamin D is low, that might be why you're feeling a little sleepy. And then three days into taking vitamin D, I'm like, I don't feel any better. This isn't working. That that which happens, right? Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:21
okay, and yes. And then to be consistent in the process, which we'll get into. For the example, the job, right? So we want, if you want to get a new job, the goal is getting hired is getting the job, but the system is everything that you've done to actually get that offer for that position, right? It's all your past, your past jobs. It's your the interview process. It's how you created your resume. It's your in, you know, the people skills? Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:51
it might be adding more skills before you even put yourself out there for it, right? Yes. And then that's a new pre, Oh, that's interesting. And then that's a new process. If I look up and I say, I need a new job, but first I need to know how to do this. Now I have a process where I need a new job, and I have a process where I have to learn how to do this. And if we get goal focused on both of them, neither end up happening. Probably

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:16
you can get stuck. Stuck. Yes, yes. Like, if you're just like, I just need to get a new job. I just need to get a new job. But rather breaking it down, like, what is the system to get there is, yeah, do I need to take some classes? Do I need this experience over here? In this department, it's hard, it's hard work.

Scott Benner 6:34
You have to embrace the process that gets you to the end. Yes, right? That's where the joy has to come in from the oh, you know, it's so interesting. This is how I explained when I was first a stay at home father, and in the beginning, I saw the job as just like, feed the kid, keep the kid clean, don't let the kid die. Like, right? Like, there you go. And not too long into it, I started to recognize this isn't what my wife would do. She had more mothering instincts, et cetera. I was skipping steps and just being happy that at the end he didn't die at the end of the day. And then I was like, Oh, you're being kind of robbed of these other things. And when I first started doing them, I did them because I knew they were necessary, but not because they felt natural to me. And then I started feeling like I was fighting against myself, because it felt like, at first, I was doing a bunch of things I wasn't interested in doing, but I knew how important they were, so I kept going the way I fixed that was to consciously one day say that I need to find joy in these things. I used to have a picture of what my life would be. Part of it didn't include going to the park at two o'clock in the afternoon. Like, you know what I mean? Like I thought I was going to be working towards a job or a career or something like that, and it felt almost like doing the right thing was a waste of my time. And the only thing that changed there was my attitude about it. I just said to myself, like, I'm gonna see these small steps as very important and decide to take joy out of them. Then as soon as I did that, it was okay. Is that similar to this? Well,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 8:10
it's similar in that it's about the identity, right? And that's what we talked about also in the first two the identity based habits at first you were maybe functioning in a way that you thought you should, or that maybe Kelly would do it, but then you shifted your identity to like, I want to be a great father, and I'm going to find joy in this, and I'm going to take steps to be that great father with the passion, joy, interest,

Scott Benner 8:40
sliding that into the idea of diabetes, if you're looking at an eight a one scene, you want a six, or you're spiking to 250 a meal, and you don't want to. You can't just sit there and say, I want to be like those people I see online who that's not happening to. Oh gosh, that's not happening. I give up. You have to say to yourself, I have to find joy in being the person who figures this out and takes these steps, goes through this process so that one day I can be in the shoes of the person that I want to be, I can make myself into the person I would like to be. Is that right? That feels right, but I'm not sure. Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:15
I mean, and that's how you shifted your habits and created a process that was enjoyable for you. I see that is, that is right,

Scott Benner 9:22
but there's a ton of other ways to accomplish that too.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:25
Yes, yes. And so this is kind of melding into what I guess I particularly like about how James clear articulates habit building, is that we are emotional beings, and there is emotion connected to each decision we make, each habit we build, and you have that end goal of like you wanted to create purpose in that new lifestyle that you had, and you found purpose and joy and passion, because that's your identity shifted in that process, the focus on building a system rather the end goal. With like the diabetes, okay, I want to have a 6.0 a 1c in a year. You can get so fixated on that, but your three month checkup, you're not you didn't budge. Your agency didn't budge. But breaking it down to what? What does a 6.0 a 1c person do for breakfast? How

Scott Benner 10:18
do they address a spike later? When did they change their pumps? Like stuff like that?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:23
Yeah, yes. And starting so small, it's not

Scott Benner 10:26
so much what I did. It's more about the reasons I did them. In context, we're talking to other people, like, yes, you don't need to take my steps to get to this thing, yes, but you more need to have the the reasons why I was able to take those steps and why I was able to stick with it. Like you have to find that in your own life and apply to your issue,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:46
yes, the self awareness and what, what is, why does it matter? Okay, what matters for you, in conjunction with the actual if it's hard to make that first habit or make that first step in building that habit, we're going to get into that, but we're still kind of high level, like shifting your day to day function, the choices you make, and then that becomes your new process to reach your

Scott Benner 11:09
goal. Am I the only one whose brain warms up when I get to the third level of thought on something? Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, like, I'm juggling balls in my head. I'm like, I have this idea. I understand this idea now, okay, and now there's this aspect to it. So I have these two ideas that I have to keep going at the same time. Then I'm like, Oh, God, I've got to apply them both to a third thought. That's where I can literally feel myself getting hot. I'm like, Oh, I don't know if I've got the brain power for this, for this next step. Well, you do, you did, yeah, but you helped me find it. I didn't. I wouldn't have found it by myself. So okay, all right, so talk about that then. This episode is sponsored by tandem Diabetes Care, and today I'm going to tell you about tandems, newest pump and algorithm, the tandem mobi system with control iq plus technology features auto Bolus which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia. It has a dedicated sleep activity setting and is controlled from your personal iPhone. Tandem will help you to check your benefits today through my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, this is going to help you to get started with tandem, smallest pump yet that's powered by its best algorithm ever control iq plus technology helps to keep blood sugars in range by predicting glucose levels 30 minutes ahead, and it adjusts insulin accordingly. You can wear the tandem Moby in a number of ways. Wear it on body with a patch like adhesive sleeve that is sold separately. Clip it discreetly to your clothing or slip it into your pocket head. Now to my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, to check out your benefits and get started today. When you think of a CGM and all the good that it brings in your life, is the first thing you think about. I love that I have to change it all the time. I love the warm up period every time I have to change it. I love that when I bump into a door frame, sometimes it gets ripped off. I love that the adhesive kind of gets mushy. Sometimes when I sweat and falls off. No, these are not the things that you love about a CGM. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 the only CGM that you only have to put on once a year, and the only CGM that won't give you any of those problems, the Eversense 365 is the only one year CGM designed to minimize device frustration. It has exceptional accuracy for one year with almost no false alarms from compression lows while you're sleeping, you can manage your diabetes instead of your CGM with the Eversense 365 learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox, one year, one CGM. So, okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:50
so kind of the identity based habit forming, building the system is really important, rather than just focusing on the end goal. I love this. This quote too, by James says, Your life bends in the direction of your habits. And he talks about, you know, each each behavior you make is a vote towards that person you want to become. So even in your example of, like, gosh, I don't know if I wanted to be going to the park, you still went to the park at two o'clock. That was a habit, you know. So your life is bending in that direction of becoming a father, yeah. And then you kind of shifted the identity of like, how am I going to make this meaningful and purposeful and bring passion and joy to that? That was that self awareness piece bringing meaning to the habit. I have

Scott Benner 14:38
to tell you, too, it was worth it, because last night some 25 years later, we sat around at the end of the day, after everybody got done working and everybody got done going to school, from like nine till 10pm we played a board game together called worst case scenario, and we had a great time. And it wasn't lost on me that I don't think a lot of 53 year old men would be like, you know how I want to end my 30. First day, you know what I mean, like and and I loved it. And it's not a thing. If you would have taken me back 26 years ago, I wouldn't have loved it. So it's really interesting. I did, I guess I did bend myself towards that. Well, listen, if I can do it, anybody can, because, as you just heard, once, I have two ideas in my head, I start to get overwhelmed. Okay, what else do you have here? Okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 15:22
okay, as we're talking about even maybe as you're listening, perhaps you're in a season of wanting to create new habits reach new goals. You're reading all the books and you're listening to, you know, podcasts and you're listening to this episode, those are all really helpful, you know, choices and behaviors that you're making to try and change or create a new habit. However, you can maybe get stuck in this preparation phase, and James talks about it in this, you know, motion versus action. So motion, it might feel like you're doing something towards your goal, such as listening or reading, or maybe you're buying some exercise equipment, or you're trying to change, maybe your pump technology. You're doing all these things that, again, can be helpful because that you're learning, you're gathering information, maybe you're gathering new gear, but it could also be a form of procrastination. So if you find that you're stuck, kind of preparing lists or buying all the items, or organizing your space, or thinking about how to achieve your goal, or you're thinking about what's prohibiting you or preventing you from achieving your goal. You could be stuck in this space of motion again, which is a necessary step, but if you feel like, gosh, I just can't get out of this, rhythm of preparation, there might be some subconscious procrastination versus action, which is actually Okay, getting on the floor and doing the push up, or actually pre bolusing for one meal a day. You know, whatever the process is that you're wanting to implement. Yeah.

Scott Benner 16:57
So here's where I'd like to talk about this idea. And if you tell me it doesn't jive with what we're saying, just cut me like, literally cut me off the knees, and I'll stop. But I saw a documentary a number of years ago that was made by people who were programming social media platforms, and they said that they were very, very confident that what they did was they gave you the illusion. It actually has a name, illusion of productivity. They give you the illusion through dopamine responses that literally just scrolling is accomplishment. It drives you to spend more time in the app, which is, in the end, what they want, but it translates to them for higher ad revenue, better performance for their metrics, et cetera. What it does for you is it completely wastes your time, but leaves you, I guess, it exploits your cognitive biases. It leaves you feeling like you've accomplished something when you haven't. And to kind of go back a little bit to what I talked about in an earlier episode of this. This all came about because I was online looking at what people were doing, and I got mad that quote, unquote, productivity content creators, what I saw them actually doing was just visually making you scroll. They were giving you the illusion that by listening to how they made $10,000 this month, you were going to but that is never going to translate for you, but it keeps you coming back, and all it does is make them money on your eyeballs. When that made me angry, and I saw that, I then started thinking about it, like I said earlier, based in diabetes. And like, how often are people, like, getting stuck in the like, oh, I listen to the Pro Tip series, and you should do the stuff in the Pro Tip series now. Like, so I thought first step here is to explain to people that this might be happening to them. And then I'd like to, moving forward, you know, actually take those pro tip episodes and break them down in ways that you can use them, like, like, little like, quizlets, almost like, like, you know, you could listen along with, yes, you know, with a breakdown in front of you visually, of, like, hey, at this, you know, at this time marker. We're talking about this. This is why that's important. And then go down at the end, maybe there's, like, a five or six question, a little quiz that makes sure you understood it, that you can move on and listen to the next one. Oh, which I don't want to, like, let the cat out of the bag, but I've already, you know, pretty far into this already, but that's coming to you because I was literally incensed by the idea that someone was tricking you into thinking you were bettering yourself, you know, and anyway, yes, so

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:26
that they're tapping into what we as human beings, we get caught up and it's, it's a good thing to spend some time in in the motion, stage right, educating yourself, learning how somebody else did it, gathering the supplies. But it's a really easy for us to get stuck in that space, because our mind is thinking, Oh, we're actually we're working towards the goal. Almost

Scott Benner 19:50
got my $10,000 I've listened to the guy, you know, I'll do I'll listen to him three days from now, when he puts out that other video, and then I'll probably have my 10 grand soon. And. And yes, that illusion of productivity kicks in and you forget the reason you're watching the videos, because you are accomplishing things. You're watching the videos. Yes, trust me, yes. Oh, made me mad, yes. Still mad, by the way, yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:13
you're watching the videos, you're buying the equipment, you're listening to the episodes. And those are, again, those are all really necessary and healthy tips, if you keep moving, yes, yeah, right, yeah. It is sticky place, and a lot of us get stuck in this in this spot. I'm

Scott Benner 20:29
just going to tell you, if I look at the views on those videos, by my measure, 8 million of you should be millionaires right now, and I don't know why you're not, because you watch the videos a zillion Oh, man, it really pissed me off. Erica, I can't tell the idea that they stole your time from you to exchange it in for what is not really like, in the end, that much money. Like YouTubers aren't making, like, some of them make crazy money, but yeah, you get 100,000 views on something, 500,000 views on it. Like they might make a few $1,000 but they're not, like becoming wealthy, like they're literally wasting you away for a few grand, and it just wait. It made me All right, let's get past the part, because now I feel like I'm accomplishing something and I'm not.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:13
All right. Well, it is. It's frustrating and it is. It is a psychological issue that we all, we all kind of wrestle with. Yeah, we just think it's important to bring that up, that we might get stuck in that motion stage versus the action stage moving forward. Then how do you, how do you get out of that motion? Kind of gathering information, researching, learning, again, with with the atomic habits. He really emphasizes starting small. We are in such an all or nothing thinking society. I got a Pre Bolus every meal, every day. Everything I eat failed, yeah? Or, you know, it's a Monday mentality, right? Like, I'm going to start the thing on Monday, or I was trying not to eat this or that, and I ate it, you know, one meal, so I'm going to eat it the next meal. I only want to exercise one hour a day. Oops, I didn't have an hour today, so I'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. And if

Scott Benner 22:08
you don't know if this is you or not, if you're currently paying a gym membership, but you've never been to the gym, or your clothes are hanging over top of a Stairmaster or something like that, this might be you. That idea of like, wow, I'm going to do it. I did it. I bought the thing. It's happening now and then, then it turns out that buying it made you comfortable, that you did something already, and now it's over again. Oh, man,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:28
yes. So being, you know, it's the consistency over intensity. He tells the story about James does in his book, about this guy who has lost a certain amount of weight and has kept it off for 10 years. But he started off by going to the gym every day, and he only was there for five minutes, and he wouldn't stay any longer. So he would he would walk into the gym, he would do whatever he could for five minutes and walk out. And what he was doing is not only being consistent, because he did that every day, but he was making a habit and behavior around the identity who we want. He wanted to become someone who was healthy and physically strong. So he's reinforcing that identity and then making that consistency. So then over time, once the habit was established, he can then fluctuate and make it stronger, bigger, better, longer, and

Scott Benner 23:21
if he misses a day, it's not the end of the world because he doesn't just give up, because he's got this habit built already.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:27
Yes, expectation for himself. Absolutely, I'm gonna write down a

Scott Benner 23:31
little thing I'm gonna do for my I'm not gonna share with all of you right now, but I'm gonna write it down for myself, because I like that idea. Okay, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:38
and I can't remember. I loved this quote that I've heard Brene Brown say, I can't remember if we if I already said it in one of the previous episodes, but she was quoting someone who said the the heaviest weight in the gym is the door that you have to pull open to walk into the gym. Did I say that already? And I miss

Scott Benner 23:58
No, but I love that. No, it's not, I don't think it's wrong. I mean, all those little examples you just ran through, like you just did, like a rapid fire of examples, of ways you might, you know, fall into this. I was like, God, I know somebody who does every one of those things we all do I do. Yeah, and I was some of those people. I wanted to ask Erica, how many more generations until our brains work better. Like, how much longer do we, like, you know what I mean? Like, if we were cavemen at one point, we're here now. Like, when are we going to get to the point where we can't be fooled by flicking our finger up a piece of glass?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 24:33
We and we have to kind of, yeah. I mean, not, not fool ourselves. But we get so overwhelmed by these grand goals and these and we see what people are announcing on social media, and we we just we can get so scared and threatened and stuck thinking, how am I ever going to reach that goal? How am I ever going to reach that a, 1c, how am I ever going to look this way? How am I ever going to write a book and breaking it down in. To he also gave this example of like, okay, let's say you want to read 30 books a year. Okay, that might feel really overwhelming. Well, that translates to reading one page a day. You can read one page a day. So I just love that, breaking it down into small bites in the beginning that might feel fruitless, it might feel really, really silly, but you're building that habit, that identity, that behavior, like,

Scott Benner 25:23
almost like building the pyramids. Like, imagine day one where they're like, so we're gonna put a block of stone here, and then eventually it's gonna be how big most of us would've been like, I don't think we're gonna do that, yeah. But somebody said, No, let's do it, you know. And now look how many you know, literally, like, generations later, the thing they did is still there, and you could do that for yourself in your own life, you know, like, yes, yes. Create a thing that you could look up at 20 years from now and think, like, 20 years ago, I did a thing and, like, I'm still benefiting from it today. It's, it's pretty awesome.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 25:56
Yes, all right, shall we keep going? Or shall we pause? Okay, okay, so how do you start? How do you build the good habit? And again, this is just using the James clear atomic habit framework. There are so many other ways to do it, but I particularly am drawn to this, these four. He calls them like the Four Laws of behavior change. So the first one, I'll read over them, and then we can go into depth. Make it obvious, make it attractive, make it simple and make it satisfying. Okay, so the first one, how do you build a good habit? Well, you make it obvious. This could be an setting out the out the workout outfit for yourself, any kind of cue that you can put out in public that triggers, okay, I I'm gonna do this thing he talks about. I'm trying to think of some good, you know, diabetes examples. When you start your coffee, have a little note on the coffee pot and say, Okay, I'm gonna Pre Bolus now. And so by the time that your coffee is done, this is, you know, if you're using a drip coffee maker, you Pre Bolus, you set your coffee 10 minutes the coffee's ready, or five minutes, whatever. But you've already Pre Bolus, and you've made it obvious for yourself. If you are trying to heal, I love this example too. If you're trying to minimize time on your phone, keeping your phone in another room for a portion of the day, like making it obvious so that your brain has to do either an extra step to do the habit or not take an extra step to do the habit. Okay, does that make sense? I

Scott Benner 27:34
do that when I get up from my desk, I don't touch my phone. I leave it here. When I go to the bathroom or go to the kitchen or whatever I end up having to go. Do? I leave it here on purpose. And it's, it's kind of interesting how after a while, 2030, minutes later, you don't think, oh, I don't have my phone anymore. Your brain rewires itself pretty quickly on stuff like that,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:53
yes, but if you keep it in your pocket, you and you're walking around the house, you feel it, and you think, Oh, I bet I should probably check. I'm going to scroll. I'm gonna check my email, I'm gonna check my text, whatever. But making any kind of habit obvious enough for your brain that has to either, yeah, work an extra step or not work an extra step to actually implement it, make it attractive. He talks about for like environment is really important. What does the space encourage so if you walk into a room and all of the couches and chairs are facing the TV, as most of us have in a family room, that space encourages us to sit, to get together, but we're focused on facing the TV, as opposed to flipping the chairs or so maybe you have two chairs facing the couch in the TV room, where does your exercise equipment? But, you know, placed, where's your I'm mostly focused on pre bolusing, because that's often the thing that I always want to work on, and my people that I know want to work on, right?

Scott Benner 28:55
Well, I mean, you could avoid aisles in the grocery store that would change what's in your in your refrigerator, you know, like that kind of stuff. Like, I've told that story a million times, like, I before I knew what I was doing, I just followed people who looked healthy around the grocery store and only went in the aisles they went into, you know, like, that kind

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:11
of stuff, yeah. So that's that would be breaking the bad habit, right? So making it unattractive for you,

Scott Benner 29:18
I would imagine, also, like decreasing clutter would help not being in a cluttered area. My son was ranting at my wife about this the other day. The clutter makes you feel like you need to clean. It makes you stressed. It gives you decision fatigue, because there's so many things to do like that kind of stuff, right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:34
Yes, that is, that is so good. So yeah, being aware of what's what's around you. So creating an environment that leads you to implementing or doing the habit that you want to do, whatever it may be, whether it's, you know, journaling and he said, too, if you want to start a new habit, it's really important to maybe do it in a different space in which another habit exists. For example, let's say you want to journal, or don't sit down and journal at seven or eight o'clock at night, when that's in the family room, when you're used to sitting in the family room at seven, eight o'clock at night and turning on the TV. Do it in a different room, a different time.

Scott Benner 30:16
It doesn't entice that other thing. Yes, yeah. Okay, so those are I just think

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 30:21
the environment is a really interesting one to think about, because we might not always we think it's just, like willpower, we gotta, like, go for it.

Scott Benner 30:29
No, that's why I cook in the bathroom. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 30:33
we are so stimulated and triggered by what our eyes see, yeah, and in the space that we're in,

Scott Benner 30:40
right? I mean, okay, it's a leap a little but, like, road rage is a good example of that. Like a thing happens and, like, a bell goes off, and you're like, now I'm gonna do this, like, you know, like that, and some people don't like so I get the point, like, you're in the wrong place for the wrong thing. My wife goes outside to read a lot because I think it takes her away from the place where she cooks, or the place where she works, or the place like she's, like, I have to leave these places, because the longer you leave her there, she just keeps doing it, you know, yes, yeah, I gotcha.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 31:10
Okay, so she's created that environment to cue and to protect herself too, like that's her private space to read and is not being pulled in other directions, right? That's awesome. This

Scott Benner 31:20
next one, make it simple and convenient. I mean, that seems obvious, but what is that about?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 31:25
Okay, so this is kind of what we've been talking about starting this is, again, if you are wanting to make a change and you're feeling overwhelmed by how many steps you feel like it's going to take, or how many days it's going to take to reach that goal to you've got to break it down. And if you to do it just for two minutes each day, for example, you want to be a strong person. You have to start, to start with one push up per day. And it feels and I, and I've been actually kind of playing around with this push up concept, because you feel like, Oh, that's so silly, but I want to be stronger, but you can do one push up, or maybe it's five push ups, and the habit must he says, the habit must be established before it can be improved. So just really, really be kind to yourself and say, What can I do for two minutes each day to reach my goal of looking this way, feeling this way, having to say 1c and

Scott Benner 32:26
having a wider view of time too, not just feeling like this has to be fixed in a week or a month or I'll definitely tell you that the GLP meds for the weight loss that finally helped me be patient with that kind of stuff, because I would lose weight on my own sometimes, like, Oh, I lost 10 pounds, but it took a month, and it was way too intense. And, you know, not sustainable. And all the things you hear people say that you think, Oh, those are obvious when people are telling you, but when they're happening to you, they're not so much. And the medication was, it was almost like the one push up idea, like, I'll inject it once a week, and I'll definitely do it on this day. And then I stuck to that, and then the rest of it, I didn't have to think about, and that stuff started happening. So, you know, to that day where, like, You're four weeks into your one push up, and you're like, you know, I'm gonna bust out two of these push ups. And you don't have that feeling of, like, oh, I wasted my time, or this isn't happening quickly enough or something, if you can let go of those ideas, like it's not happening quickly enough, and therefore I'm wasting my time instead of seeing it as it will happen eventually. And I'm otherwise wasting my time, I'm literally wasting my life by not accomplishing anything. Like I'd rather accomplish something that took two years than not accomplish something that took no effort over five years. I don't that makes sense or not, but yes, is that stating what I'm trying to say? Like, run me over here, because I'm not sure I got

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:48
out. No, it is. It is because what you're relinquishing with, you know, with a SMART goal, it's always time oriented, like, smart, measurable, achievable. What's the I forget the R at the moment and having a time. So like, in six months, I am going to have reduced my a, 1c, by point five, or in six months, I'm going to weigh this X amount or read these many books. But it's not about the time, right? It's about shifting who you are, your identity and trusting that these small habits that you develop consistently are going to shift who you are intrinsically. Because

Scott Benner 34:31
two years later, someone said to me, one day, do you want a Dorito? And I went, No, I'm okay. Thanks. I don't know how I got to that point. It wasn't a struggle. It wasn't even a thought, man. I was like, No, I don't want that. I think it can be attractive to say that if it's not happening fast enough, then I'm wasting my time or my effort, instead of seeing the actual waste that's happening by you not making any changes. Yes, and that's harder to see because of I mean, it's just hard to take. Enough of a of a macro view of something to absorb. You know, a timeline of years when you're really focused on today. Like, I hear people all the time say, like, when's my kid gonna learn how to do this? Or doing how to do that? I'm like, they'll learn it eventually. Like, just keep going. I used to use this example all the time. I think that parents, overzealous parents, ruin things by now. You have to put your kids in daycare, like preschool, or they won't be ready for kindergarten. They're like, Well, I wanted to be able to count and read by the time they get to kindergarten. I was like, that's the thing they learn in kindergarten. Now, you forced everybody to send their kid to preschool in the end, they all know how to read when they're you know, done. You know what I mean, like they don't know, they don't know algebra and reading at the end of kindergarten because they went to this but it all, it feels like I have to pack all this in right now. We've got to make these big leaps. And what I'm saying is, I guess what I'm saying is, slow and steady wins the race. I mean, are just old sayings really what we should just be blurting out here. Yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 35:57
slow and steady wins the race. But it's so counter intuitive. It's so counter culture. We are always bombarded with. I mean, just like the YouTube thing that you referenced, make this amount in this many days, lose this amount in this many days, and we are having to fight what we're being exposed to and and also the competition factor. Yeah, right. We're always comparing ourselves to our neighbor and because we just are human. It's just human nature. I would

Scott Benner 36:26
say that it's bad enough that the YouTuber is out there trying to put you in a position to feel like you can do something that you probably can't, that you're gonna fail at, because he knows it'll drive you back to him to get more stuff. That's bad enough, okay, but don't do it to yourself. Yeah, you know, that's just, that's where it starts feeling sad to me, you know, like, I get if somebody else can fool you, but like, know enough about how your mind works and how people's minds works to at least not do it to yourself. That's kind of what I'm hope that. I guess in the end, that's what I'm hoping this is going to do for people. So, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 36:58
and it is. So as I've shared, I tried doing this push up thing, because in my mind, I, you know, I want to get stronger, getting older. I need I used to be very active, and I'm like, I'm never going to be able to get to the gym. I'm, you know, this all or nothing, thinking. I'm like, But you know what, I'm going to try this five push ups a day. And it feels silly, but gosh, do I feel accomplished for getting on the ground, doing five push ups. And I've done it, you know? He also says, you know, if you miss a day, fine, but try not to miss two days in a row. Can I find time to do five push ups? Yes. So you get this little mini dopamine hit of like I did it. You have the physical release, the endorphin hit, even though it's small, yeah. And then you're building that habit,

Scott Benner 37:39
and that's coming from you a person who, if I know you don't tell a lot of your personal stuff, but I think this is out there at the very least. But this is coming from you a person who's like, I need to get a little stronger, and who, at one point in your life was a d1 athlete. Yeah, it's not like Eric is like, just been tripping through life, going, I got to do a sit up. Like, at some point she was taking a ball and jamming it down other girls throats and jumping and in a very active I imagine, like, I don't know you from back then, but I imagine you were incredibly strong at that

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:09
point. I was, yeah, and even after that, for a period of time, until, you know life happened exactly.

Scott Benner 38:16
But I'm just my point is that it's not like even you are saying that, I guess is my point, and you've been not in this situation before. So, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:24
yeah, all right, yeah. So just the starting small is so powerful, and then yeah, slow and steady, being patient, so that that simple is really, really important. I think of a lot of these, of these Four Laws, and the last one making it satisfying. I think when you when you start a new habit, it is important to have that. I think we talked a little bit about this before that external reward or motivation. So let's say, Okay, for this first week, if I do the thing I want to do, maybe it's just pre bowls for one meal for five days in a row, I'm going to whatever feels appropriate. I don't know. Obviously you might not want to make it food based, but you might want to make it like I'm going to buy some new bubble bath for or I'm going to buy a new book, or I'm going to get a little reward, just whatever, whatever feels appropriate, right? Eventually, the hope is that doing the actual habit or the behavior intrinsically becomes the becomes the reward, right? So initially, at first, you're like, I don't, don't really have a whole lot of buy in, but I'm gonna do these five push ups every day, and hopefully I'll start to feel stronger. But then it becomes like, Oh, I'm doing my five push ups today. That is the reward, yeah. Or I am again. I'm trying to think of with the diabetes example, that's not Pre Bolus, because I've used that now.

Scott Benner 39:49
It's a carrot and a stick. Like you just you need to say to yourself, like, if I do this over and over again, and I know it's, I know there's valuable reasons for me to be doing it, and yes, it's probably why I should be doing. It. But for now, I need another reason, so at the end of this, I'm going to buy myself a puzzle, because I love puzzles. Yeah, whatever. Listen, I think if you want to talk about diabetes, specifically, like pre bolusing is obvious, because it's so valuable, and either people aren't told about it and they build bad habits around it, or it's difficult to do. And I've heard everybody's listen, I understand every, I think every opinion out there about why it can be difficult, maybe it's more than that. Maybe it's just more about like, hey, getting my basal set correctly, or make sure my insult to carb ratio is right, or, you know, like putting the effort into that this week, like, I'll just spend this week figuring out my basal and once that's good, you know, I'll look back and I'll see like, Is my carb ratio Good? I'll spend a week trying to figure out if my carb ratio is good. Then I get those things straight. I think about like, let's just check into the insulin sensitivity. Now. I've got all my settings right now, by the way, pre bossing might become significantly easier, and now it might work. And you'll think, Oh, I did this thing and it worked instead of like before, because your basal was wrong, your carb ratio was wrong, your insulin sensitivity is wrong. You were pre bossing. It wasn't working anyway, and you were defeated before. Anyway. You were defeated before you started, because you didn't take the steps in the beginning like you thought you knew what the process was. I just have to Pre Bolus. But the process really was my settings aren't right, and instead of just saying my settings aren't right, I need to fix them. It's why I talk about this way, basal first, then carb ratio, then insulin sensitivity, get those things straight. Then work on pre bolusing your meals. From there. The truth is, if you're consistent with that between you and me, Erica, voila, you pretty much got your six eight. Wouldn't say it's pretty much there, right, as long as you understand the impacts your food. But then that's the next thing. You go, Okay, let me figure out how fat and protein impacts my life. Let me figure out, like, why 10 carbs of this seems to make me, you know, higher than 10 carbs of that. And who cares if that takes six months or a year? Yeah? Yeah. Like, who cares if it takes two years? You're running around right now with a 12, a 1c and going, like, oh, I only brought my a 1c down a half a point. That's huge. Yeah. What a big deal that would be, you know, and then take the win and build on it, buy yourself a puzzle and keep going. I don't know, whatever you do, whatever weird things you people like doing, I don't care. Just don't hurt anybody. And I'm fine, yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 42:13
whatever, yeah. Well, and I think, you know what, the basal check I'm like, how I was trying to think of, how can we, you know, two minutes a day is that spending two minutes looking at your report like, what? How could we apply that to, like, a very simple step each day? Yeah, I'm

Scott Benner 42:30
gonna tell you it's self serving, but go listen to the Pro Tip series. Just start at the beginning. Pick an episode. Listen to that one. Get that together. Move to the next one. If that takes you 26 weeks who cares, right? Like, seriously. Like, who cares? You'll be better off 26 weeks later. I'm not gonna lie to you. There are some people I've seen power through it, and a week later, they're like, my one sees five and a half. I'm like, Man, you really understood that? Like, but that's not everybody. No, you know what I mean. Like, so take your time. Listen, listen for two minutes. Listen, listen to one episode a week, like Erica, we're done, right? We got through. Make it satisfying, right? Like, because, yes, yes, yeah. Then the last episode we'll do how to break bad habits. What gets in the way? It gets in the way? Yeah, okay, but let me finish with this. It's gonna sound weird. I don't care how it sounds. I put the answers there. They're there. I can't come to your house and be like, now do that like you've got to do that part like I so maybe that's your first process. Is just talking yourself into doing something kind for yourself, and not by the Stairmaster, and not do it. Oh, I downloaded the series, but I can't listen yet or get in your own way. You know what people say to me all the time? I don't have time to listen. It's 26 hours of listening, like to go through the Pro Tip series that sounds crazy, right? Is it? Because in the last month you've been alive for, like, you know, a lot longer than that, and your situation is terrible. So take an hour this week or an hour this month. Who even cares? Like, who would care if 24 months later, you were better off. It's not going to take that long. But like, stop having the expectation, like Erica said, like, stop having the expectation that you're going to flick your finger and your dopamine is going to light up and you're going to feel all fulfilled, and that's going to be the end of it. You got to put the work in somewhere, because you're like, how do we explain to people what that is? Like, I don't know. Like, maybe this is the rubber meets the road spot. How am I supposed to explain to them how to do it? Like, at some point, you know, you do just have to do it. So, I don't know.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 44:30
And maybe it's a PLA, you know, all of if we were to say, Okay, if you're wanting to adjust and or lower your A, 1c and if we walked through these Four Laws of behavior change. Make it obvious. Maybe you are going you have it downloaded, and you're gonna brush your teeth every morning and you're gonna listen to two minutes of it. That's you. Now. You're kind of your habit stacking. You're making it kind of attractive and easy, right? So every time I brush my teeth in the morning at nine. I'm gonna listen to, you're supposed to brush your teeth for two minutes. I think so, two minutes in the morning, two minutes at night, maybe at the end of the week, already send out. Okay, if I listen to the Pro Tip series and basal testing for one whole week, then I'm going to, you know, get the puzzle, whatever it is, um, go see the movie, sit down and do nothing, whatever feels like a reward. The actual

Scott Benner 45:22
reward is going to end up being when your blood sugar doesn't spike and you feel you don't feel foggy, and you don't get low later, and all these things that I know you,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 45:31
that's the internal reward eventually, yeah, and I know those

Scott Benner 45:35
things like that. I know that's what you I don't I listen. I wish I could do it. I mean, if I could come to every one of your houses and do it for you. I guess I've been it would take a while, but like, you know, like, or just having someone else do it even like, I get it now, if you're really jammed up and it's just not making any sense to you, then okay, then you need outside help. But I shudder for a minute to sound like I'm just here shilling for my own podcast. But let me just say this so that I can be 100% clear I'm doing okay. I'd love it if more people listened, but the truth is, if no more people listen, I'm doing this podcast incredibly popular, and I'm fine. I'm not doing it because I want you to listen to the podcast more. Yeah, I'm mentioning to listen to the podcast more because of the decades worth of feedback that I have from people who did it who tell me, Hey, this really worked for me, you know, like I'm where I mean to be because I listened to a podcast. I don't know if you can believe it or not, that sounds strange to me. I don't know why it works, but it seems to so, you know, what's that? Nike, I'd say, Just do it. Like, right to play. Just do it. I mean, listen, Eric. I can't sit here all day and read reviews of the podcast because, also, people wouldn't believe that, but I'm just trying to get you to like whatever your pathway is to this. I hope you try it, because I think it's really, genuinely going to help anyway. All right, we'll cut it here and we'll we'll finish up the rest in the next episode. Sounds good. Thank you. You I'd like to thank the Eversense 365 for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every 14 days, you want the ever since CGM, ever since cgm.com/juicebox, one year, one CGM. The podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by tandem diabetes care. Learn more about tandems, newest automated insulin delivery system, tandem Moby with control iq plus technology at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox there are links in the show notes and links at Juicebox podcast.com this episode was sponsored by touched by type one. I want you to go find them on Facebook, Instagram, and give them a follow, and then head to touched by type one.org where you're going to learn all about their programs and resources for people with type one diabetes. Thank you for listening to episode three of this four part series. There's one more coming. And if you heard this one and didn't hear the last two, go back and find them. And of course, check out erica@ericaforsyfe.com my grand rounds series was designed by listeners to tell doctors what they need, and it also helps you to understand what to ask for. There's a mental wellness series that addresses the emotional side of diabetes and practical ways to stay balanced. And when we talk about GLP medications, well we'll break down what they are, how they may help you, and if they fit into your diabetes management plan. What do these three things have in common? They're all available at Juicebox podcast.com, up in the menu. I know it can be hard to find these things in a podcast app, so we've collected them all for you at Juicebox podcast.com, the episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwaverecording.com.

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Scott Benner 5/1/25 Scott Benner 5/1/25

#1509 Terrified of Apples

While pregnant, Tzipi fought to get her daughter on a pump and looping just two months after diagnosis. She shares how it shaped their early days with a newborn and life as caregivers.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Tzipi 0:15
I'm CP. I'm a mother of two kids. My older Haley, she's three and a half years old and she has type one diabetes. Please

Speaker 1 0:23
don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I know this is going to sound crazy, but blue circle health is a non profit that's offering a totally free virtual type one diabetes clinical care, education and support program for adults 18 and up. You heard me right, free. No strings attached, just free. Currently, if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana, you're eligible for blue circle health right now, but they are adding states quickly in 2025 so make sure to follow them at Blue circle health on social media and make yourself familiar with blue circle health.org. Blue circle health is free. It is without cost. There are no strings attached. I am not hiding anything from you. Blue circle health.org, you know why they had to buy an ad. No one believes it's free. Today's podcast is sponsored by the insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing since she was four years old. Omnipod, omnipod.com/juicebox, you too can have the same insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing every day for 16 years. Today's podcast is sponsored by us Med, US med.com/juice, box. You can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do, and I'm talking about Dexcom, libre, Omnipod, tandem and so much more us, med.com/juice box, or call 888-721-1514,

Tzipi 2:11
I'm TP. I'm from Calgary, Alberta in Canada. I'm a psychologist in my profession. I'm a mother of two kids. My older Haley, she's three and a half years old, and she has type one diabetes, and that's why I'm here today.

Speaker 1 2:25
Awesome. And now we're gonna do a little thing where you explain to me how to say your name. So do I just do I swallow the tea? Do I just say? ZP, oh,

Tzipi 2:33
that's a very common question. You just say, see, they use the tea like with pizza, like

Speaker 1 2:39
C, CP, I don't know. Wait, wait, hold on. CP, yeah, I got it. Perfect.

T.P. 2:45
Yeah, you

Speaker 1 2:46
got it Oh, slow. Let me just jot down phonetically what I just did. Do you need help with my name? I'm just kidding. I'm just that's pretty easy. So how many kids did you say you have two?

Tzipi 2:59
I have a newborn, like five months old, baby, oh my God, and three and a half years old. Okay, congratulations.

Speaker 1 3:05
Thank you. Thank you. That's lovely. So how long ago was your daughter diagnosed? So she was

Tzipi 3:12
diagnosed 10 months ago, when she was two and a half years old. Oh, gosh, and I was pregnant. Yes, 17 weeks pregnant. Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 1 3:21
I was just about to say Arden was just two years old when she was diagnosed in the draw of parallel. But I was not pregnant at the time. So yes, that

Tzipi 3:29
definitely adds more layers of stress and interesting experiences, for sure.

Speaker 1 3:34
I think I'd like to hear about that a little bit. How far along were you? And then what happened that showed you that your daughter needed help. So

Tzipi 3:41
it actually, I think it started, like, few, few months prior to the diagnosis. I know I always noticed, like, always felt that something is a bit off. She was always irritated. We started to have tantrums when she was one year old. Already, she was very moody. She wasn't a calm baby. And few months prior to diagnosis, I noticed that she's not she's not really growing. I looked at her friends in day daycare, and everyone was growing and getting bigger, and she she wasn't. And I remember I asked her a doctor, like, what's going on? Why she's not getting any taller, any bigger? And the doctor was like, she's okay. She's not losing weight. Everything looks great, like all other aspects were great tantrums. He said, that's pretty normal, very normal toddlers behavior. And I said, okay, at the time, I didn't know a lot about type one diabetes. And then few months later, she started to drink a lot of water. She was also very attached to her bottle. She was she was two, so I said, Okay, maybe that's, that's normal. So she was drinking a lot, but then she started to pee a lot too, which, at the time, made sense, because I was like, okay, she's drinking lots of water. She's peeing a lot. That makes sense. Like some like this fluid need to go somewhere. But then she started to wear the bed as well, and it became more and more severe. But then my my husband and I thought that it's just, you know, maybe we need to in. Is the size of the diapers. So that's what we did, and it worked until it didn't. And then we changed again the diaper size, and it didn't work. So then I started to look up on Google to see what what can it be? Because it didn't, it didn't seem familiar at all. And she also became very obsessed with water. She was thirsty all the time. And now, when I think about it, I feel super bad that I didn't ring any Bell.

Speaker 1 5:23
How long did this go on for? Why do you feel bad? It lasted

Tzipi 5:26
for, I think maybe four months or so. I mean, it progressively went worse and worse. So it wasn't unusual in the beginning, because she was always attached to her bottle. As I said, she was always drinking a lot. I told the doctors all the time ask me, like, is she drinking water? And like, yes, she's drinking a lot. And they were like, great, that's so healthy. And I'm like, Yeah, great. So I didn't it took me time to realize that something is off, and when I Google all the symptoms, then I saw something about type one diabetes, and I was like, oh. And then I met with her doctor the next day, and her doctor was saying, Yeah, sounds it can be type one, although it's very rare in our age. It might be just like a normal toddlers behavior, like some weird Toler behavior, but you know what? Let's check, let's rule it out. And the next day, I took her for some blood work, and I will never forget it. It was Saturday, in the evening, our doctor called me. He's a very dedicated doctor, by the way, he's always checking the everything. So he called me right away, and he was like, Where is your daughter? Is she awake? And I'm like, yeah, why? And I'm looking back and I see my daughter in a huge meltdown, lying down on the floor, as usual when my husband was trying to put her to sleep. So it was evening, nothing unusual for us. We've been going through this for for a while with her. And then I asked him why, what's going on? And he told me her sugar was very, very high. Like, okay, how high? And he's telling me 29 which is, I think, 500 520 so again, reminding you, I didn't know a lot about type one diabetes, and I asked him, Okay, how high is it? And it's like, you know, the maximum is 10. If your child is sick, it might be 11, but that's very high. I'm pretty sure she has type one diabetes, and you need to go to the hospital right now. That can be very dangerous. She can get uncon unconscious, right? So my heart just fell at that moment, and my husband didn't hear this conversation. So I'm looking back at my husband my daughter, and I'm like, saying to my daughter, what do you think about going for a road trip? And she was, like, ecstatic. She was so happy. She was running and, you know, lying down the floor. Yeah. Road trip, road trip. And my husband is looking at me at no idea what's going on, and I just told him, We need to go to the hospital. Her doctor thinks she has type one diabetes. And my husband is like, No, I'm sure it's nothing. Let's go. Let's check. Let's see. I had a feeling that this is it like she she has type one diabetes. That

Speaker 1 7:58
sucks. Is it in the family at all? Like when the doctor first said it to you, did you think, Oh, that makes sense?

Tzipi 8:04
Or No. No. Later on, I found out that my husband, so his uncle, was diagnosed with type one diabetes, but when he was 20, and we didn't, I didn't know about it, my husband didn't, didn't really know much about it. So it was pretty it was out of the blue. Yeah,

Speaker 1 8:19
no, I'm sorry that sucks. So you get to the hospital, 522, it's a big number, yeah, how long? And she's little. I would imagine. What do you think she weighed at that point? Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. Us, med has done that for us. When it's time for Arden supplies to be refreshed, we get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden, this is your friendly reorder email from us. Med. You open up the email. It's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one us. Med has done that for us. An email arrives. We click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple, us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put this stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is call 888-721-1514. 888-721-1514, or go to my link, us, med.com/juice, box. Using that number or my link helps to support the production of the juice box podcast. Today's episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by Omnipod. And before I tell you about Omnipod. Pod, the device I'd like to tell you about Omnipod, the company. I approached Omnipod in 2015 and asked them to buy an ad on a podcast that I hadn't even begun to make yet because the podcast didn't have any listeners. All I could promise them was that I was going to try to help people living with type one diabetes, and that was enough for Omnipod. They bought their first ad, and I used that money to support myself while I was growing the Juicebox Podcast. You might even say that Omnipod is the firm foundation of the Juicebox Podcast, and it's actually the firm foundation of how my daughter manages her type one diabetes every day. Omnipod.com/juicebox whether you want the Omnipod five or the Omnipod dash, using my link, let's Omnipod know what a good decision they made in 2015 and continue to make to this day. Omnipod is easy to use, easy to fill, easy to wear. And I know that because my daughter has been wearing one every day since she was four years old, and she will be 20 this year, there is not enough time in an ad for me to tell you everything that I know about Omnipod, but please take a look omnipod.com/juicebox I think Omnipod could be a good friend To you, just like it has been to my daughter and my family. I

Tzipi 11:25
think she was maybe 10 kilos something, yeah. So, you know, in the hospital, everyone was great, actually, very supportive. It was the I didn't know what is expected. On the way there, my daughter was so high and excited, and I told her, you know, we're going to this great hotel. I just developed this great story because I had no idea how to communicate it to her. I didn't know what to expect. So she was very excited. We went there the doctors, they were very quick. They poke her finger, which was to me, like shock the first time. Luckily, she wasn't in DKA. They said we found it on time. And they said we didn't, we don't need to stay denied there. And they were very supportive, very gentle. They said, You know, there can be other reasons why blood sugar is so high, but you know, it's high now, so maybe let's start with insulin. Let's start for now. Do you

Speaker 1 12:17
think they knew she had diabetes and they were trying to ease you into it? Yes, yes,

Tzipi 12:21
for sure, yeah, to I mean, to me, it was clear, like for my husband, that was very helpful, because it gave him some, some hope that maybe, although there can be other, like, worse things, I mean, that can explain why sugar is high, other than type one diabetes. But it helped my husband and but I knew, but it was, it was nice to hear, in a way, yeah,

Speaker 1 12:43
do you feel like your husband and you were on diverging paths at that point? Like, did you have a different experience than he did?

Tzipi 12:49
I think for him, both of us were shocked. I understood it quicker that you know that this is it. So I really tried not to have any like, false hopes or something. It was very clear to me that something is off. And it explained lots of things, actually. And when they gave her the insulin, we went back home, and it was one of the best and peaceful. It was the most peaceful night we have ever had. My daughter has ever had. She slept so well that night. We were having so many struggles with sleep, but when she got the insulin, she was all of a sudden, so calm. And that also gave me hope, personally, because I felt like, Okay, now we know what it is. Now we know how to address it. We have treatment great, so that was helpful to see how it is affecting her. Wow,

Speaker 1 13:36
you talk a little bit in your note to me about the emotional aspects of having a toddler with type one so I'm wondering what you've learned, what you've been through? Wow, that's that's quite a journey. So

Tzipi 13:49
you know, raising a toddler is hard enough, not to mention raising $1 with the type one diabetes. And I'm sure you know from your own experience, so it is hard. In the beginning, I had no idea how to communicate it to her, so I just try to use a language she knows she's familiar with. So right in the beginning, I told her that our sensor or her pump our super powers, and it may it keeps her safe and healthy, and this is how we know that she can get bigger and stronger, and it keeps her safe, basically. So I invented this story around superhero, super power she was very excited about. So every time, in the beginning, we were on MDI, now we have a pump. Luckily, we got it very fast. That's another, another story where I had to really advocate for her. We were on MDI, so I made sure to create this very positive routine around diabetes, around injection, just to make it more fun and not so different. So when she was born, I was very firm against limiting, not allowing screen time at all. But back then, I needed something to distract her. I told her that this is our dedicated time to watch some songs that she likes. I used to go every, almost every day the first six months, to the store to buy some surprises for her, some craft, some painting. And she used to get after every injection, some surprise. So she became so excited about it. We also used to like put stickers and decorator, sensor and pump, and I let her put also stickers on me. In fact, we're still doing that, so she will feel like it's something fun she's doing with her mom, and she's no different than anyone else. So that helped a

Speaker 1 15:32
lot. Is that something you've kept up, or has that sort of died down? No.

Tzipi 15:36
So we're still doing it. And actually, this superhero story is working really great. I know that, you know, it's time limited for now. She's She really likes it. I used to collect pictures of kids their age with pumps and sensors and stickers, and I used to tell this story that they are superheroes, and this is her power. And I actually have a very funny story about one time we're at the pool, and she saw a bigger kid with the with the sensor, and she was like screaming in front of everyone, Hey, Mom, look another superhero. And that kid is just looking at her, and he's

Speaker 1 16:11
like, my mom didn't tell me that. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, seriously. CP, what a great idea, like just to change the narrative, yes, just make it what it is, and you decide what it is, yeah,

Tzipi 16:23
and, and I think it's true also when, for when, she will be bigger, because I know that coping with with any, any challenge in life, is really about what you how you see it, what you make out of it. And I really wanted, the day she was diagnosed, I decided that I want her to have the best possible life, and I'm going to make this experience as positive as I can, as normal as I can for her, so the stories will change. And I'm slowly, slowly telling her more and more about diabetes. Now she knows that it's insulin that I'm putting into the pump and trying to keep it age appropriate, of course, but I wanted her to realize that she's she's no different than other, and she and diabetes will never prevent her from doing anything she wants. How

Speaker 1 17:08
do you imagine the the stories will morph over time? Have you thought about it, like, what? What happens when she's like, Oh, I'm not a superhero. Like, what do you say then? Yeah,

Tzipi 17:18
that's, that's where I'm struggling to be honest. And you know, I was also reaching out to other parents and to the community, and we have, honestly, very great community in all of the Facebook groups, and I'm talking to so many people and just trying to understand what other people are doing. But I think you know, this superhero story for me is about her being brave, regardless of, you know, how I call it, or the or what it involves her being brave, overcoming difficulties. And that's that's true. It's not going to to disappear when she'll be bigger and the story will change. I really believe that she is brave. She's dealing with so many things that me in her age, I never had to deal with it. So I think this is what it's all about, basically her being brave and strong, regardless of challenges that life might bring with time, I will tell her more, and I actually I'm waiting for her to ask me more questions, because I don't want to bombard her with information she's not ready to yet as well. So I'm also waiting. No, I don't know when she will ask me, Why, mom, why am I beeping in school? So she's going also to school, and we're, we're looping, so we give her bosses remotely, and there is always this Beep, beep, beeping sound. Yes, I'm just waiting for her to ask more questions.

Speaker 1 18:35
I just realized you're basically, this is, this is Santa Claus. You're telling a story that's really fantastic. And then one day, someone's gonna wake up and go, Oh, hold on a second. Yeah, but I'm

Tzipi 18:45
hoping it will be gradual, so I don't I'm sure I'm not planning to just keep it like this until she's, she's 20, and she's like, Mom, what's going on? I'm not a superhero, but I haven't

Speaker 1 18:56
flown or crawled up a wall or anything yet. Like, when does any of that go? No, no, no, I can't listen. How old is she again, right now? No, she's three and a half. Yeah, I this is lovely, you know? Like it just, it really is to let her feel special and at the same time, not different. It's a tightrope act. And I think it sounds like you're

Tzipi 19:13
doing a good job with it, you know. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm really trying. You said

Speaker 1 19:18
earlier there was some stuff on the on your husband's side of the family, like, what else did you find after you dug in?

Tzipi 19:23
Nothing, really, nothing, really, mainly that, just that.

Speaker 1 19:26
Okay, all right, there's that hasn't been thyroid or celiac or anything else. No, no,

Tzipi 19:30
okay. But I'm very mindful of the the connections between other other autoimmune disease too, so we're always monitoring as well for other stuff, hoping they will not come okay.

Speaker 1 19:40
No, of course. How much of this approach do you think comes from your professional background? Do you think this would have been something you thought of without that?

Tzipi 19:50
That's a great question. I'm not sure, to be honest, because I feel like all the knowledge I have definitely helped. But you know what? I also feel that. And I was, you know, when Haley, my daughter, when she was born, I was so attached to her immediately. And the day she was born, I I swear that, you know, I'm always going to love her and be there for her regardless, no matter what. And when she was diagnosed, I felt like this need of me became stronger. And I just, I feel like, you know, I'm looking at her, and I feel like I own it to her, just to be I'm responsible for her happiness, and she's so young, she's just starting her life, and I just want her to have a great one. So I was always actively looking I was reading a lot. So I'm not sure if it's really my professional background or me just being very active in gaining more knowledge and hearing stories about other people, you know, experience, and I was all talking a lot with people with type one diabetes are adult now, but they were diagnosed when you when they were young, too, and they used they they're telling me great stories about the things that help them, yeah, the things that their parents were doing to help them cope better and feel special. So that helped a lot. So I'm all the time actively working to improve and to gain more more knowledge, just to help her better. Are you a more mature

Speaker 1 21:09
for the last 30 seconds, been trying to figure out how to ask you this, but you're a more mature mother, right? You're in your 30s, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, like that feeling of, I don't know, it's something about the way you discussed your responsibility to her, just made me feel like you'd been around for an extra 10 years. That's all, oh, it felt like a very mature I guess what I'm saying is not that younger mothers aren't like, Hey, I know I'm here to take care of my kid, but the way you spoke about it just gave me a feeling of you being older. That's all, oh, okay, yeah, so, yeah, like you've been through something. Have you been through other things? Like, has life been challenging at other times? Or is this your first shot at this kind of thing?

Tzipi 21:50
Definitely. You know, in my personal life, I went through some things and some journeys, of course, which maybe, maybe stronger. But yeah, it might contribute to some of those approaches.

Speaker 1 22:04
Yeah, I feel like I hear them in your voice. That's all, oh, okay, so I don't, I don't want to ask you what they were, but it feels, it feels like there was very good. You're very good. Yeah. Sounds like you've been through some shit. Is what I'm saying. Yeah,

Tzipi 22:17
yeah. So diabetes is, yeah, almost nothing. No, I'm kidding, but

Speaker 1 22:22
no, no, of course. But yeah, almost problems do prepare you for more problems. They just yeah, you know. And

Tzipi 22:28
you know what? I think that coping with type one diabetes also made me definitely changed my perspective even now, because I want to believe that I'm a very rational person, I was always looking for explanations and answers, and I always, you know, looking for some predictability, and diabetes, really, that I feel like many times there is no logic, there are no explanation. And I was stuck for a while on the whys, why is it happening? Why I did everything correctly? I gave her the Bolus that I needed, and now she's spiking. Now she's going low, like, what's going on? What's happening? I was so stressed. And actually, you helped me a lot, because, listening to your podcast, I understand that there is no point on, you know, being stuck on the whys, because we just need to do it, to manage it, pretty much in a way that is detached from emotions. She's high now she needs more insulin, like, it's not going to help. Just think about why, the reason. Like, who knows why

Speaker 1 23:21
you can make yourself crazy trying to figure it out in the moment a lot of times, yeah, yeah. I was going to ask you, like, how did you get the looping so quickly? So

Tzipi 23:29
after she was diagnosed, I felt like I went on a mission to make sure she's get she's going to get the best possible care. So despite the shock, despite the sadness, all these negative emotions. I started researching a lot. I was talking to so many doctors and researchers all around the world. And then after two weeks in, it was very clear to me that she needs to be on a pump. And then I was reading about Lou, because in Canada, we don't have yet, the tubeless pump on a closed loop, basically so. And then I found out about loop, and I said, that's great, because I want her to be independent as much as possible. I want her to go to school. I want to be able to manage it all without ballerina teachers or anyone around her. So, and then I found out about it, and it was so great. So I was so excited, and I went, it brings me into another story. I went to her doctors two weeks in. I was like, Yeah, we're going to have a pump. And our doctors, even they were amazing, very supportive, very kind, but unfortunately, they were lacking of resources as well. So they told us, well, unfortunately, you will need to wait for six months. There was, you know, there. They had all the other explanations and as well and logic that we need to be familiar first with, with injections and and all the other stuff. But they said, I'm sorry we don't have enough resources. There is a waiting list you need to wait for six months. And I said, No, we're not, we're not going to wait. And then it. Me to another journey where I had to advocate for her. And again, reminding you, I was pregnant, very pregnant, very angry, and I was gonna say,

Speaker 1 25:08
I'm not, I'm not arguing with a pregnant lady trying to get an insulin pump for her toddler. That's for

Tzipi 25:13
sure. Yes, yes. So I was very, very angry, very into this protective mode. She's going to have a pump that's the best for her, that's the best standard of care. This is what she deserves. She's going to have a pump. So let's say I was, I had what I needed to do. I did what I needed to do at the time. So I even reached the media at the time. I was very much motivated. And eventually the doctors, and I'm very grateful for it. Until now, they approved the pump. It was, I think, two months in already. And I also mentioned loop, and there they were, very much. They they can't support us with that, so they referred us to another clinic that can offer support with looping and and, yeah, and then she got a pump, and it was one month before I gave birth, so it was we didn't have a lot of time. And you probably know that when you move from MDI to to a pump. There's a job. Everything is changing. CD, we

Speaker 1 26:03
gotta go back. Though you contacted the media, yes, what did you Oh, my God, I bet your husband was like, Hey, you should just do whatever you think is right. And then he hid in the corner

Tzipi 26:14
Exactly, exactly. That's exactly what happened. Yeah, I've been

Speaker 1 26:17
married a long time. I'd be like, Oh, I don't think I even want to be involved in this anymore,

Tzipi 26:22
exactly. He just let me do whatever. Are there news

Speaker 1 26:25
reports of him standing three feet behind you, looking scared? By any chance?

T.P. 26:29
I think I can find some pictures for sure.

Speaker 1 26:33
I'm here to be supportive. But I just want to say this wasn't my idea. Yes. So what did you do? Well, I

Tzipi 26:39
didn't go far because,

Scott Benner 26:43
like, oh my god, what is she doing?

Tzipi 26:47
Yeah, luckily. So it was I just contacted a reporter, and then I guess they contacted the hospital, and then I think it was Few days later where the hospital just called me and said, Okay, listen, we're going to approve it.

Speaker 1 27:03
And you misunderstood. No, we said, you can have it right away. Other people have to wait, not you,

Tzipi 27:08
yeah, and you know, they were very kind, because we had also special like family circumstances, with me being pregnant and my daughter, we just moved there to we enrolled her in a new school as well. So she, she started a new school I gave birth, so there were lots of changes, and I knew that her being on a pump right after will be a disaster. So I really wanted everything to be ready before all these big changes. So listen, way to go. Thank you. That

Speaker 1 27:37
was that. I am just trying to picture the doctor answering the phone and be like, you know, in that Canadian accent, he's like, hello. Then there's another Canadian accent. It's like, Oh, hey. And then they're, they're Owen and a and back and forth. And then the reporter says, why won't you let CP kid have an insulin pump? That guy was probably like, oh, what? Yes, no, no, no, we are going to do it. Don't worry. Yeah, exactly. I don't know how my impression was, by the way, but in my mind, it was pretty good. Yeah, yeah,

Tzipi 28:05
they're wonderful, and their support is amazing. But, and I get it, I get it. There is only so much they can do, unfortunately, with the public system. But yes, well, Thank

Speaker 1 28:16
God you didn't have to stick your polar bear on them or whatever it is you live up there with, Okay, well, way to go. And then, so then you set her up on loop right as you're getting ready to have the baby. Oh, my God yes, yeah, yeah. So you get that, you get that accomplished before you give birth, yes.

Tzipi 28:33
And of course, you know, right while I was giving birth, of course, all these things were happening. So we have a really crazy and fun story about as well, because we started with loop, and then we were, it was very new to us, and we were very careful, very afraid of insulin, to be honest. So in the beginning, she was running high for a while. And of course, the day I gave birth, she was running high too, and it was a disaster. This evening, we try, we try to put her to sleep. She didn't want to go back to sleep. She was so high she was running all around the house. Finally, after she calmed down a bit, I was sitting down just to have my dinner, and then, boom, my water broke, so I was chasing after her, while my water actually like dripping everywhere, trying to calm her down, trying to explain her I'm going to the hospital. We left to the hospital, and while I'm dealing with my contractions with one hand, I'm watching my phone, watching her numbers, and I see the numbers are not going down. So I'm saying to my husband, okay, you need to stop we need to stop it right now. You're going home. I just forced him to go home to check what's going on. I thought that something with a pump is not working. She's so high like something is off. Now I know that we just, we didn't give her enough insulin, but at the time, I thought that the pump is not working. So I told him, the baby is not coming. Until everything is settled, you need to go back home. So he went back home, and then, of course, loop stopped working when he came back home. Probably there was some updates. He didn't know what to do with at the time, he didn't tell me, luckily. Mm. Anything about that. He was able to sort it out. And numbers went down eventually. And then the moment he called and he told me, like, numbers are down, she's good, she's great, I started to feel a baby coming out, and that was a huge drama, because, you know, the doctors, they were pushing me on the bed, rushing me into the delivery room. I'm still watching the numbers, or my doctors were screaming, like, where is the dad? And the doula is, like, he went home to check his daughter's sugar number, and I'm like, I'm not waiting for him to come back, to be back. I'm just, I'm going to deliver this baby, and then I'm there lying there in the delivery room. And once the baby came out, my husband came into the room like this rock star, so we didn't miss it, luckily,

Speaker 1 30:42
and three nurses asked him out on a date, like you were half helping your daughter with her diabetes, and you made it back for this. I'm gonna marry you away from this later. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 30:52
so that's crazy, yeah, when you

Speaker 1 30:57
said I was about to have the baby, and it was, I forget you said, upsetting. I thought you were gonna say because of how that happens. But you know where the baby comes from. I don't know why God didn't set that up better, is what I'm saying. You know what I mean? Like, if I put you in charge, would you go, Oh, you know where the baby should come out of? Oh, you wouldn't say that yes. Or you'd say, You know what? Let's get back together in a couple days. We're gonna meet again on this and see if we can't figure out something else. Yes, TV I saw, I don't know how this happens to me, but I saw a woman on Instagram do, like, a seven day postpartum check and like, she's like, I again. I don't know what my algorithm thinks I am exactly, but then there I was. I watched it because it was interesting. Like, you know, her stomach was shrinking over the seven days, she was excited. You could see the life come back into her face. Was really exciting, except during the entire thing, she was wearing a diaper. Oh, and I thought, how does this video, like, not just stop every woman in the world from having children? Like, how did they not how did they not see this and go, Hey, you know what? I'm gonna get a puppy.

Tzipi 32:03
But you know what? Giving birth was actually the best experience I had in this whole story, much better than, better

Speaker 1 32:11
than the diabetes. All right. Well, there you go.

Tzipi 32:14
It was actually pretty that part was actually pretty great. That's awesome. You know, having a newborn and a toddler with type one diabetes in the beginning was definitely, definitely challenging. I remember holding my baby in one hand, breastfeeding him, and holding my phone in another hand, giving my daughter insulin in the middle of the night because she's high. So that was, that's how it looked like about

Speaker 1 32:35
your emotions around that time. Did you feel it bleeding over to the diabetes? Well,

Tzipi 32:39
yeah, of course. So I felt, and I'm still actually pretty sad about that, because I really felt that, unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of in the beginning opportunities to connect to my baby as much as I wanted, because I was so distracted with diabetes. As I said, everything was so new. The pump loop, my daughter started a new school. So there were so many things around that, meeting our teachers and explaining everyone, educating everyone around that. So it was a lot of work.

Speaker 1 33:08
Yeah, you missed a little bit of time with a newborn. Yes, and experiences. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, actually, about how, like the course of our lives are different than they would have been in the and the little things that get lost or I just was just watching myself and my wife kind of go through our house the other day and do our jobs and then do the things we do with the kids, and do the things that you do for meals and the home and the whole thing. And I step back and I thought, there's not a split second of free time in our life. Not just not we just go from one thing to the next to the next to the next to the next, and then to bed, and then sometimes you don't even get to sleep.

Tzipi 33:50
And so do you feel it, too? I do. I think

Speaker 1 33:53
it's a little how we're wired, like in general, like my wife and I are hard workers, like, so I think that's a little how we're wired. But at the same time, by the way, I don't mean to say that people who take downtime aren't hard workers. I just mean, like, we get things done. You know what? I mean the diabetes part. Like, I looked at the day and I thought, actually made me think more about when Arden was younger, because at this point, you know, there's not as much diabetes in our day. Now I just think we're wired this way. But I look back to when she was younger and it was just one thing after the next Exactly. And I thought, Do other people get to stop? Do they get a half an hour? Like, like, you know, I eat standing up.

Tzipi 34:33
I do the same. Yeah, it's funny. My husband and I like, Yeah, we don't get even to enjoy our food or not to mention our sleep. My

Speaker 1 34:41
kids all the time are like, Why don't you sit down? I'm like, sit down. Like, I just gotta get this in my face so that I can do the next thing I gotta do. Yeah, and I just wonder how much I think I'm always gonna wonder, how much diabetes put me in this position, and how much this is just who I am. I'm not sure

Tzipi 34:55
that's amazing. I mean, to hear not amazing, but I mean, I'm relieved you. A way to hear because I feel that too. And I also want to mention that diabetes really put me a lot of many times in this fight or flight mode. And I guess this is pretty common, especially in the beginning, because I feel that this is my feeling, at least, that you can't get too comfortable with diabetes one moment you know exactly what you're doing. Everything is working really great. And the other moment like something, something is happening. And I feel like you always need to to watch out and to pay attention, pay close attention to what's going on. And you know, especially when she's in school. So I feel that all the time, like it's hard, it's hard to calm down, it's hard to relax, it's hard to have some downtime. And it's not

Speaker 1 35:41
unreasonable, either. CP, it's not like you're sitting there worrying about something that you're like, oh, you know, I'm just a worrier. Like, they're they, they have trouble communicating still, right? They're young, exactly. You can't communicate with them. They don't really understand. Like, if I went and grabbed your daughter right now and was like, pulled the curtain back, and I was like, Hey, tell me about your diabetes, she'd be like, I'm a superhero. High offense. She wouldn't be like, Oh, if I get too low, I could have a seizure. Like, she wouldn't, yeah, like, she doesn't have that concept, so she's not going to know what to say. So that's for you to worry about, right?

Tzipi 36:13
Exactly? And it's also hard. I'm trying really carefully to watch first symptoms, like when she's low. I'm trying to see, like, can she communicate it? And it's so weird, she can be low, and then she's running around the house, like, like, this, this many and, you know, demon and like, I have no idea if I if I'm not looking at the numbers, there is no way for me to know that she's low when she's high. It's easier to see, I think, with her, but I feel like there are no symptoms, no warning signs. I have to

Speaker 1 36:42
tell you, I love that. With your accent, you went for Tasmanian. That was awesome. I was like, is she gonna shoot for Tasmanian? Go ahead. I will tell you, it was so variable with Arden when she was little, and we didn't have a CGM and we didn't have a pump, like in the first four years, and so it was up and down. And like, she'd get active, her blood sugar would fall. Like, I have to be honest with you, back then, I didn't even know activity made her blood sugar fall back then. Like, I didn't put those two and twos together yet,

Tzipi 37:10
yeah. And it makes sense, like, well, of course, but then, you know, yeah, who's

Speaker 1 37:14
gonna tell me back then? And, yeah, I don't know. Like, there's something about that, about them being so little, and not being able to communicate it well, and it being so variable, and the tiniest bit of insulin moving them one way or the other, they don't weigh very much. And I don't know like I just think that if I could go back and watch myself in those first couple of years, I probably had the same experience with Arden's toddler years as you had with your baby's newborn days, like, I just think I missed a lot, just staring, you know, I actually, I wrote a blog post one time okay about staring at her, trying to figure out if she was okay really, because I would, I was like, maybe it's the bags under her eyes, maybe it's this, maybe it's that like, and what I ended up doing was, like, I kept taking pictures of her face. Really, I'd test her blood sugar, take a picture of her face, write the number with the blood sugar, then go back later, give me ideas. No, no, listen, let me tell you what. It was a huge waste of time, because all I learned was I couldn't look her in the face and tell if she was high or low. That's all I learned. I couldn't tell. I went back later, looked at I was like, I don't remember what face goes with what number. Wow, yeah, I beat myself up, staring at her constantly, always thinking, like, is she high? Is like something happening? Is she gonna get low? A lot of my time was spent doing that.

Tzipi 38:31
I know I do the same, and it's just that's what I realized just recently, that it's pointless because there are no answers, and sometimes I'm looking at her, Oh, and she, she's, she looks pale. Maybe something is off. But it's not like, there are some times that she's perfectly fine and she looked a certain way. It doesn't mean anything, yeah, it means

Speaker 1 38:48
you live in Canada, and she's not outside very often the in the sun, yeah, yeah, right. Like, but meanwhile, you're, you're trying to diagnose the whole situation, like in, like a lunatic, trust me, I knew I was a lunatic back then. Now, looking back, I just feel bad. I actually, I feel a little bad for my family back then, like for us, just because I see what the technology does. Now,

T.P. 39:13
yes, you didn't have all the technology back then a few

Speaker 1 39:16
years in the other direction would have been such a big deal. Yeah,

Tzipi 39:19
you know? So anyway, yeah, we're facing similar, similar challenges, I guess, with the toddler, of course, yeah, yeah. And I'm just wondering, because I found myself, in the beginning, very much obsessed with their numbers. I was connected to my phone the whole time. I didn't have a break. It was crazy. Of course, being on a pump brought us more more stability, for sure, but I'm just actively trying to, you know, to calm down a bit and to give myself more time for just doing other other things. And my husband and I were trying to be, you know, a team is also very great in the beginning. Of course, he was like. Success than than I was with the numbers, and that brought some disagreements, but now we're really trying to divide all the responsibilities and work so I can have my downtime and he can have his own downtime knowing that someone else is watching. And that brought a big

Speaker 1 40:14
relief. I have to ask you, did he pull it together when the reporter showed up at his house to ask him why he wasn't taking it as seriously as you were here, because CP says, like, Oh no, she misunderstood.

Tzipi 40:31
Oh yeah, that was definitely something to to remember. Yeah, what

Speaker 1 40:36
do you think that is? How long have you been married? Nine years. You're in your 30s, right? Yeah, okay, okay. And so when you say that the way you said it, he didn't take it as seriously as I did.

Tzipi 40:46
Like, what do you he wasn't as obsessed, or maybe, yeah, but what

Speaker 1 40:50
does that mean? Like, because what it means is you didn't think he was putting in the effort that it needed. His

Tzipi 40:54
nature, in his nature, is much more relaxed than I do. I'm, like, immediately jumping to, you know, to the rescue. I'm all I come so ready and so fast to act, so quick to act. And he's more is more chill. That's, that's who he is in general. So I felt like he thought somewhere that, Oh, that's okay. I can catch her numbers. I don't need to follow. Like, every five minutes. In the beginning, it was every five minutes, because when she was on injections, she wasn't stable at all. It was crazy. We gave her fast acting in the morning and then intermediate acting, and so we'd never knew when the peak is and of the insulin, and so she was always high or low. So I felt like we need to be on top of it. I mean, it was watching, of course, but he wasn't so obsessed. So obsessed was

Speaker 1 41:42
he just, Was he being a boy? What are we talking about here? Exactly, you know what? I mean?

Tzipi 41:47
I'm not sure. I think it was a big shock to it. Yeah, hearing the news that your daughter has this potential life threatening illness was very, very shocking to him. So I think it took him time, and it takes time, right, just to to process this, this, it's, it's big, yeah, realizing that something like this happened, and it brings lots of losses. And at my work, I'm very much aware of the fact that any chronic disease brings lots of losses and grieving process. And diabetes is like changing so quickly the nature of diabetes, and it's something really big to grasp. So I think obviously it took him time to really realize and accept that, yeah, this is what it is. And

Speaker 1 42:27
can you share some things that you feel like you've lost? Oh,

Tzipi 42:30
first of all, sleep. That's the most obvious, obvious part. I just said to my husband a few days ago that I really miss the feeling of just lying down in bed and just like collapsing, just going to sleep without thinking too much about tomorrow, about an hour from now, just sleeping, being able to shut off, yes, yeah, yeah. Now I'm waking up every every two hours, also because of my newborn, but also because of her checking her numbers. And that's the saddest part, that our lack of sleep is not so much related to turn having a newborn, but more to the fact that her daughter has diabetes. So it's always you know about monitoring? Yeah,

Speaker 1 43:10
do you find yourself limiting things that you would like to be doing because, like, for instance, I don't drink, but if I did, I don't think I would be able to bring myself to do that, because I would think, like, what if I got, like, what if I was inebriated and something happened? Like, couldn't, like, deal with Yeah, yeah.

Tzipi 43:26
So I mean traveling, we're still very much worried about traveling, for example, outside of our of the country, because I'm thinking like, what if, what if something happened? And then, like, what do we do? Also, in the beginning, at least, we were avoiding going to some places my daughter really liked in the beginning. Like going to the farmers market. She used to like it so much. But she used also to eat. My daughter, in general, she's eating very healthy. The most crazy stuff she's eating are fruits, like bananas, apples or favorite thing was to go to farmers market and to eat this huge bowl of fruits with yogurt. So we were avoiding it in the beginning, because we were like, I'm not doing that. Like she's going to spike. I'm afraid to watch. I can't watch. It's too painful. So we're avoiding that. But then when we started with looping, we started to experiment more and try out different things. And we found out that it it can work. So we started doing it again just recently, also going to parties, I mean, like social gatherings with her was very scary, because she loves snacking, like any other toddler, and she used to snack constantly. And I think I asked one time in the Facebook groups, in the Facebook group about you, about snacking? What do you do with a toddler who can't stop snacking? How do you manage that we'd look it's easier, but that was very stressful. And I didn't want to say no, I didn't want to limit her, yeah, with food, because food is also a passion of mine. And before she was diagnosed, we're doing it a lot like go. I took her to like, really good restaurants, and I was so I love it, just to introduce her, like different foods to her. And that changed a lot after. Area diagnosis, so I was very careful. All of a sudden of food. I was terrified of apples. That sounds ridiculous, but I was terrified of apples.

Speaker 1 45:08
I've had those, like, similar feelings, oh, okay, just looking at certain food and being like, Oh, wait, I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going to happen. Like, we can't just eat this because I was a stay at home dad when Arden was diagnosed, and my wife worked in the city. She took a train to work like she was gone big chunks of the day. So we'd get up early, get mom off to work, and Kelly would come back, sometimes 567, o'clock at night. And sometimes she'd come back and it would be after dinner. And so she'd say, Look, I'm just gonna grab something on the way home. So I'd already fed the kids, managed the insulin like everything was like coasting towards, you know, bedtime, and my wife would roll in with like a sack of food. It was hot and it smelled good. I felt like she came into the house with a flame thrower, you know? Yeah, just like, Here I am, like, I'm just gonna lay waste to this place. Like, that's how I felt. I'm like, I'm like, do not bring more food into this house, please. Like, I've already, like, I've done this for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner, for snacks. Like, I'm done, don't you know, I think I might actually have her blood sugar reasonably well, which, by the way, I probably didn't, and that food would come in the house. Did that happen? Oh, it scared the hell out of me. And then that's when I would usually just because then I realized, like, plus my wife not gonna eat. Like, this is where she lives, you know what I mean? Like, so I was so upset and frustrated. I would oftentimes say, Hey, I didn't get a chance to take a shower today. And I would go in the bathroom and get in the shower, and I would cry because I was just like, I like, I can't do this again today. I

T.P. 46:43
know the feeling, yeah, I know the feeling so well. Yes. Anyway,

Speaker 1 46:46
so what'd you say? Afraid of apples. That's what we're gonna call it, apples and bananas. Don't try to, don't try to change it from afraid of apples. I love that. That's a great title, but not any longer, because, why? What did you learn? We

Tzipi 47:01
learned how to dose for it. Of course, it made a big difference, like changing also the insulin type. So as I said, I was reading a lot, and she was using different insulin. The beginning it was, it was horrible. So nothing really helped, no matter how much, how much time we waited after giving her insulin, it didn't help. She was spiking so bad, so I read, and we moved to Fiesta, and that made a huge, huge difference, like a change in the way we manage your blood sugar. So it helped a lot. So we started to, like to give her, yeah, big apples. And I have to tell you, she can eat, like, huge apples one after another, and she will ask for more and to us. And as I said, we didn't want to restrict her. We're still, like, a bit stressed about it, because, you know, she was like, asking, like, Mom, can I have apple, but a big one, a big apple? And I'm like, Yeah, sure, yeah, an apple. And then she was asking for another one, can I have another apple? Yeah, sure, another apple. Then can I have a banana? I feel like she was testing us, to be honest. But

Speaker 1 48:03
she was like, should I think I can make this lady crack? Watch this. Can I get a banana?

Tzipi 48:08
Exactly. So she was just eating anything, and me and my husband were looking at each other and like, Oh, my God, what are we going to do? So we're just throwing insulin at her. Yep, it helped. It worked. I mean, it was, it was okay. It's still not perfect, obviously, but it's much better. She's not restricted. Now she's just she we're really trying to let her eat whatever other kids are eating, which is different than what we're eating at home. For example, today, you You caught me in a gray day because our teacher just texted me yesterday saying that, you know, hey, there is a birthday party today and we're going to have cupcakes like, okay, great. Another show. And so she sent me the pictures, and we were trying to estimate and and hopefully I didn't check my phone today. I really wanted to be present for a change in this, you know, very important podcast, so I didn't check my phone. My husband is on it, but I hope it went well. So we're just trying to do a better job.

Speaker 1 49:01
Yeah, no, I'm sure he's doing a good job, but later, you can let him know when he didn't. I have to tell you that like I drifted away a second ago, like you were talking about the apple and the bigger apple and the bigger apple, and you said, you know, the blood sugar is going to go up and and I just started thinking about all the times when Arden was little that her blood sugar was high and I didn't know what I was doing. And I swear to God, I thought I was gonna cry.

Tzipi 49:22
There is a lot of self blame around that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 49:25
that's exactly right. Like, I thought, I actually thought, like, oh god, how many times did I screw all that up? You know? Yeah, you

Tzipi 49:32
feel it's all you right, like you did it. You're the reason why she's high or the reason why she's low, and that's, that's what I feel constantly. And that's

Speaker 1 49:40
terrible. Not true either. And, you know, it's diabetes, like, that's the problem. Like, you know what I mean, and I was trying to figure it out. I didn't have, like, a podcast to listen to back then, or something like that, but I was, I was doing my best to figure it out, but it just, you know, I more from thinking about how I felt taking care of art and how I feel. About it when I reflect back on it now, but now I've had, like, you know, this decade of experience making the podcast, and now everybody's story just floods into my head as as, like, one big idea of, like, there's a two year old right now who has type one diabetes, and their parents listen to the podcast, and maybe they're going to figure the whole thing out and never end up going through what I went through, right? And then, in my mind, that little kid becomes Ryan from like an episode A few days ago where he, you know, was little when he was diagnosed, and they nobody knew what they were doing. And 40 years later, he's got retinopathy, and he's having eye surgeries, and wakes up blind one day, and then he finds the podcast, and he's okay for every person you reach who might not end up down that path, there's probably 10 people who never even gonna know the podcast exists. That not intersecting with some valuable help. I wasn't intersecting with valuable help. I genuinely don't know how I got to where I am today. When I look back on it, I just

Tzipi 51:00
I can't even imagine, and you didn't also have the technology. It was what

Speaker 1 51:03
you were talking about earlier. Like, I all I really had was that incredible feeling of responsibility. Like, I honestly think that that's the way I'm wired, and that's why Arden's okay today. Like, I swear to you, I don't want to dig too far into this, because you're, I think you're a therapist, yes, yeah, I don't want you charging me, but I'm adopted. My adopted father left my mom, I raised my brothers. I have a lot of empathy for what they went through, and I think that that part of my life wired me to feel very responsible for things and people. That's amazing. That's how I got through not being told anything about diabetes, to being the person I am today, and having shared the things that I've shared so far, I don't have it in me to bail on something that's pretty much it. There are times, I have to be honest with you, there are times I'm like, I wish this wasn't who I was. Like, there are times I'd like to look at people and go, Hey, you know what? You're all on your fucking own. I'm going. I cannot do that for some well, not for some reason, for pretty obvious reasons, probably, but, you know, anyway, but, but your daughter is very lucky. You guys are all lucky. My dad left my mom or, like, I don't think you'd know how to take care of your kids. Seriously, it's just so strange to see how the dominoes fall. You know, that's all, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, but you're making me think about that today. You're doing an amazing job. You had to learn everything by yourself. And she's doing great. From what I've I've been reading, she's doing great. She really, yeah, but I mean, like, that's something to be proud of. I'm proud of it, yeah. Like, don't get me wrong, I guess I'm in a spot this week where the people around me asked me to go back and listen to some episodes. Like, like, I'll record this with you, and it'll go out to an editor to rob. He'll edit it, it'll send it back, and, like, six months from now, I'll put it online, and then somebody's gonna hear it, but I'm not going to remember it. I'll have the feeling from it and the things that I've learned from our conversation today. But like, if you said to me six months from now, oh, this is Cp, do you remember you talked about with her? I'd be like a Canadian lady, because I'll have had very likely 2046, I'll likely have had 120 more conversations between now and then. Yeah, wow. People around me said, like, you got to go back and listen to Ryan's episode. And it's called blinded by the light. I think it's like 1411, or somewhere around there. And I went back and listened to it, like, really listened to it as a listener, like, not now, like you might be surprised to be, but like, when we're done recording, it's my job to make a voice note about what we talked about, and I'm not very good at it. Like at the end of the hour, I almost won't know what we spoke about, and I swear to you, so I get sent back go listen to Ryan's episode. And when I listen to Ryan's episode, what I heard him tell me was, I'm not blind because of you. And I was like, I don't remember that happening while we were having the conversation. Like I remember him saying, remember him saying the podcast helped him and like, the things he learned, but like, contextually, like, I didn't remember that. So I anyway, I've had that experience in the last day or so where I went back listened to that he sent me a private note since then about it. People around me have said, you know, this to me, and so while you and I are having this conversation, I feel a little pressure to keep the podcast going, to find the next person who might be Yeah, like, find value in it and and that's

Tzipi 54:31
so important. That's so valuable. It's where you got because you helped me a lot. And I'm sure there's so many people out there that gain so much from these episodes. And that's why I'm I'm here too, because, you know, when my daughter was diagnosed, I immediately asked the the doctors, do you have any support groups? Do you have can we see a psychologist? Because really, this is something big, we need to talk about it with someone. Yeah. And they said, well, we don't really have support groups, and we can. We can refer you to social work. Occur. Now, I know how important it is to talk with someone to process all these big changes, and I felt very sad that they didn't have anything concrete to offer. So these days, I'm actually working on some you know, I have so many ideas as part of my professional work, just to start groups for parents, because I know there is a huge need here, where I live, for example, and there are so many parents out there who feel so isolated and so lost, and it shouldn't be like that. If you

Speaker 1 55:27
can get that accomplished, I think that would be fantastic. I don't know. I found myself today talking to you and the things that you're bringing up or bringing up, like memories about me being, you know, with my daughter when she was younger, with type one, and now they're getting conflated with the almost professional pressure I have to to get the podcast out to other people. So anyways, I shared last night with a person who asked me to go listen back again, and I said, I feel a lot of pressure listening to Ryan, but it's good pressure. Like, I like it. Like, that's the difference. It's kind of the thing that, should I get up tomorrow and just be like, Oh, I'm tired. Like, I won't, I wouldn't, you know, like, that wouldn't stop me, because I would, I would honestly think, like, this is the stuff people need to have these conversations about. They need this community. They need these ideas. Yeah, and why did I go through all of it to learn all of it if I'm not going to share it with somebody, yeah, that's

Tzipi 56:23
amazing. Yeah. So here we are. Yeah, and I'm very happy that this is where you're

Speaker 1 56:27
you're at. Thank you. Well, I'm glad for how well you seem to be doing, too in such a short amount of time. Oh, has that occurred to you? It doesn't feel like no, but, but does it occur to you that like you've had such a quick turnaround? Or does it not feel quick. It definitely

Tzipi 56:41
feels quick. I think everything happens so fast. In general, all these life changes, the baby and diabetes, and I don't know how we made everything so fast. I think, as I said before, and as you said before, it's just my sense of responsibility for my daughter and wanting her to have the best, the best life ever. And you know what being pregnant? You know that was the strangest and saddest feeling ever to carry this precious baby inside of me while learning that my other baby is having this potentially life threatening disease. But I think it pushed me to really advocate for my daughter learn as much as I can about diabetes make sure she's getting the best possible care, because that's not obvious. It's unfortunately, it's not always the case. People need to wait, especially in the public system, people don't always know that there are other like options or different kind of kinds of treatment. Yeah, I'm really happy that I was able to do everything so quickly. Yeah, and I'm trying. Yeah,

Speaker 1 57:44
you are, you are, like, I'm just gonna tell you, like I was still crying in the shower two years into it, so like, You're doing fantastic, you know, like, I'm, I'm very happy for you. I also cried in the shower. Where do you do it? Exactly, in the car, the

Tzipi 57:57
shower, in the car. Oh, my God, I didn't tell you the story. When I was eight months pregnant, and I watched my daughter's numbers just dropping, and she was in a daycare before we moved her to the school, to her school, and I tried to contact her educator, and she didn't answer. And I see her numbers just dropping, and I'm like, eventually I went out to the car with my glocagon and in my hand, because I was already preparing for the wars. I see numbers dropping. I was driving the neighborhood like crazy trying to locate her, only to realize that I have no idea where they are because they were in some playground. So I was crying in the car that morning, like I was crying so bad that was definitely have you ever heard

Speaker 1 58:35
me tell the story of the time I was in the shower and Arden's blood sugar started crashing while she was at school? No, I literally, like, jumped out of like, I tried texting that happened to me yesterday. Yeah, she didn't answer. I tried calling. She didn't answer. I tried to call the school. No one answered. The school's like, across the street from my house, so I came bursting through the front doors of the school and stopped at the window because it was post 911 so you couldn't get through the you can't just walk into a school. I don't know if you all remember, used to be able to smoke in movie theaters and just walk into a school. You can't do a lot of things like that anymore. But yeah, I got stopped at the window, and just as I was about to identify myself, to say, Listen, my daughter is likely about to have a seizure in the gymnasium, I look down and she texts me, and she goes, Oh, hey, I got your text, and I drank a juice. I'm okay. And the woman looks at me, oh, my God. She looks at me like, Uh oh, this is why we don't let people in. Because I did not like, you know, do my hair or anything like that coming out of the shower, and I just looked up at her, and I went, Hi, sorry, false alarm, and I walked right back out again. I didn't even tell her why I thought they'd have me locked up, you know what I mean? So, oh my

Tzipi 59:46
god, yeah, that's exactly what happened to me yesterday, to be honest. Finally, when I had some time to take a bath, I see her numbers just crushing and I was like, yeah, getting all wild and crazy, jumping out

Speaker 1 59:57
of I just got back. I sat in my car, and I. Was like, Okay, I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go finish my shower, and we're gonna try again.

Tzipi 1:00:06
For you, I didn't. I didn't dare to try again. I knew that something and something new might come up, so I just gave up. I'll

Speaker 1 1:00:13
give up. Well, it was awesome talking to you. Have we? Have we missed anything or anything that you wanted to talk about that we didn't?

Tzipi 1:00:19
I just want to emphasize how important it is to just reach out to others. Really talk with as many people as you can. Reach out. Don't, don't be alone in this, because managing type one diabetes is very, very challenging. It's not, it's not like you just take a medication and and done like you really need to be mindful about all the different factors that can affect sugar levels. You know, all the doctors keep saying that's very rare, especially in young ages, but it's actually not so rare. I keep hearing about so many people and newly diagnosed kids, and there are many parents out there who are going through very similar experiences. So just, just reach out for support. Don't, don't stay alone with with all of this, like this roller coaster, let's

Speaker 1 1:01:01
say, Yeah, terrific message. That's awesome. Okay, thank you. Thank you so much. Scott, oh no, it's a pleasure. It absolutely is. Can you hold on one second for me, sure. Thank you.

Speaker 1 1:01:17
The conversation you just enjoyed was sponsored by Omnipod five. You want to get an Omnipod five, you can you want to make me happy, do it with my link. Omnipod.com/juice box. A huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of the juice box podcast. Don't forget us, med.com/juice, box. This is where we get our diabetes supplies from you can as well, use the link or call 888-721-1514, use the link or call the number get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us. Med. Earlier you heard me talking about blue circle health, the free virtual type one diabetes care, education and support program for adults. And I know it sounds too good to be true, but I swear it's free, thanks to funding from a big T 1d philanthropy group, blue circle health doesn't bill your insurance or charge you a cent. In other words, it's free. They can help you with things like carb counting, insurance navigation, diabetes technology, insulin adjustments, peer support, Prescription Assistance and much more. So if you're tired of waiting nine months to get in with your endo or your educator, you can get an appointment with their team within one to two weeks. This program is showing what T 1d care can and should look like currently if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana. If you live in one of those states, go to blue circle health.org to sign up today. The link is in the show notes, and please help me to spread the word blue circle health had to buy an ad because people don't believe that it's free, but it is. They're trying to give you free care if you live in Florida, Maine, Vermont, Ohio, Delaware, Alabama and Missouri. It's ready to go right now. And like I said, they're adding states so quickly in 2025 that you want to follow them on social media at Blue circle health, and you can also keep checking bluecircle health.org to see when your free care is available to you. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes. I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card if you or a loved one, was just diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you're looking for some fresh perspective. The Bold beginning series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series, Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player. Or you can go to Juicebox podcast.com and click on bold beginnings in the menu. Hey, what's up? Everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you wrong way recording.com, you got a podcast? You want somebody to edit it? You want rob you.

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#1508 After Dark: 8 Seconds to Dublin

Em, 28, juggles type 1 diabetes, bipolar highs and lows, ADHD, and alcoholism while battling her parents for custody of her kids—chaotic, raw, and impossible to look away.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1 0:00
Welcome back friends to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Em 0:14
Hi, my name is Adam Millen. I am 28 years old. Was diagnosed with type one diabetes six weeks before my sixth birthday.

Speaker 1 0:23
Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. I know this is going to sound crazy, but blue circle health is a nonprofit that's offering a totally free virtual type one diabetes clinical care, education and support program for adults 18 and up. You heard me right, free. No strings attached, just free. Currently, if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana, you're eligible for blue circle health right now, but they are adding states quickly in 2025 so make sure to follow them at Blue circle health on social media and make yourself familiar with blue circle health.org. Blue circle health is free. It is without cost. There are no strings attached. I am not hiding anything from you. Blue circle health.org, you know why they had to buy an ad. No one believes it's free. This episode of the juice box podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g7 the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juice, box. Today's episode is sponsored by the tandem Moby system with control iq plus technology. If you are looking for the only system with auto Bolus, multiple wear options and full control from your personal iPhone, you're looking for tandems, newest pump and algorithm, use my link to support the podcast, tandem diabetes.com/juice. Box. Check it out. Hi.

Em 2:04
My name is Millen. I'm 28 years old. Was diagnosed with type one diabetes at our VH Royal Victoria Hospital in Barrie, Ontario, six weeks before my sixth birthday in June, 2002 so I've had diabetes for if you do the math, I don't want to do it, but a pretty long time.

Speaker 1 2:25
Yeah, yeah, you're 28 now, you said

Em 2:28
I'll be 29 July, 31 Leo, oh,

Scott Benner 2:32
I don't know what that means. Leo, what does that mean?

Unknown Speaker 2:35
It means I bring the fire. You're

Speaker 1 2:38
trying to say you're a big pain in the ass. M, is that? Is that? What's going on

Em 2:42
here? I've worked really hard as a diabetic. I've been a single mom, put herself through college. I was planning to go back to school, but I just went through a divorce. That's been pretty messy, but that's okay, you know, I got arrested with a blood sugar of 16, and then the police in my local municipality were denying me insulin. So when my EMS buddies rolled up, they gave me insulin right away. You know, I've been institutionalized twice in my place of work, and it just made me stronger. It made me work smarter, a little bit harder, but I know when to dial it back as well. So I'm just proud to know what I know, and to never give up and to keep grinding for sure, Scott

Speaker 1 3:21
and I want to go through all of it, so let's dig through so what do you mean? You were institutionalized twice. So I

Em 3:29
work with my mother and my ex husband. We work for the same institution, but I grew up working in healthcare after I finished my diploma for office administration with health services when I got diabetes, you know, there wasn't a lot of this technology. We didn't have these podcasts. We didn't have parents like you, you know, who gave their daughter and other parents and children hope and tips to take care of diabetes. You know, I was diagnosed by a woman who followed me through my entire pediatric course. So when I see a new diabetic child, you know, my heart, it just goes out to them. You know, there's so many barriers to access to education and diabetes. You know, my educators will bring me in, and they'll be like, What do you think you should do? And I'm like, I don't know. You know, why am I here? You know, I can test my blood sugar by checking my pulse. I can test once a day or none at all. And I can tell you, you know, I started getting complications as a rebellious teen, because I grew up with a mom who was like, you cannot eat sugar. So then I would go and I would binge eat in private, and my weight was always fluctuating, but I was always an active kid. For me, I think growing up as a bit of a rebel with diabetes, when someone told me I couldn't do something, I just did it in excess amounts, you know, like being bold with insulin, my insulin needs have cut like in a third recently, I've lost 70 pounds since October, which was ironically, when I. Got married when I was institutionalized, it was because my parents had lied in a court of law, which is okay, we're sorting that out in court with the custody of my children, who I love more than my life. As I'm sure you can relate. You know, your daughter is type one diabetic too, right? Yeah, and as an adult, I'm sure you respect her choices. You know, my mom is always saying things like, don't get a piercing. Don't get a tattoo. Well, I have a piercing. I have tattoos, and I know how to heal them, because when my blood sugar goes high, I can feel it, you know, I can feel capillaries in my eyes with blood vessels leaking. I can feel, you know, when I was institutionalized, they were withholding insulin. Medical Doctor actually got involved. He went to medical school with my endocrinologist, my adult one. So she's always been super respectful of me. You know, I'm really close with her and her husband, who's her receptionist, because we live in a modern world now. So, you know, I used to insulin ration as a university student, and I dealt with a lot of alcoholism and addiction, because, you know, when you go to university three and a half hours away from your parents and you're with a bunch of Toronto kids, well, what are you going to do? You're going to drink to excess, you're going to party. But I was always getting great marks until I wasn't I overslept. I underslept. I didn't know when to take a break, and I'm a musical theater kid when I go on a ramble, it's just because I'm so passionate in in diabetes education and patient advocation and care. So I'll throw it back to you there. Scott, yeah.

Speaker 1 6:33
So, so what's your diagnosis like? Is it a mental health diagnosis?

Em 6:38
Yeah. So in 2016 I was diagnosed with an active addiction. This is a bit of a tough subject, but I had been sexually assaulted at a party. A good childhood friend of mine at the time, had brought me to a party. I don't even remember what I was drinking, what I was doing. I just remember being afraid and feeling alone, and then, you know, she left me there with a bunch of guys I didn't even know. And, you know, they took my phone, they took my bag, and I was in the north end of where I grew up. But I something in me just said, don't call your mom, because she's going to be disappointed. You know, as I grew up in high school doing theater, what did we do? We drank a lot. I drank a lot of sugar coolers, right? Because we didn't have all these sugar free coolers. I grew up in bars as a half Catholic Irish drinking lots of whiskey, so every time I would drink it would be fine for a few hours, but then later in the night, you know, I'm vomiting, I'm blacking out. I'm, you know, my mom is yelling at me, telling me I pissed her off. And that's good and well, but there were no consequences in the morning to my actions. You know, if I was grounded, it was okay. Now you go do whatever you want. So when I raise my children, who thank goodness, take a break

Speaker 1 7:51
for a second, let me ask you a question. Okay, so like, Does your mom have any mental health stuff? Your mom or your dad?

Em 7:56
Oh, oh yeah, my dad has dementia. God love him. You know, he smokes a lot of weed. He was born in 420 of 56 so I really love my dad, but, you know, there's just a lot of history there, and it's not stuff we'll get into. But as it relates to diabetes, you know, my godmother passed away in November from cancer, and I attended her open casket service with my brother. All the photos at this were pictures in my childhood home. They were us growing up together, and my mom was like, Well, I'm not friends with her anymore. I'm not going. And I said, Well, I had the courage to go. I had the courage to see her children pay my respects. And you know, grief is not linear, and especially with diabetes, like she used to come pick me up from school. She had an oxygen tank, and she would feed me sugar and take me shopping and do all the things that my mom didn't want to do with me. I do love my mom, but, you know, she's an Irish Catholic. She doesn't she doesn't believe in therapy, I was actually doing therapy with a young type one diabetic therapist, and we were laughing, because at the end of every session, she'd be asking me about the difference between libre Dexcom, you know, I like to make it old school with diabetes. I like to live on survival instinct some days, because when I have a sensor on, well, then I stopped feeling the highs and lows, you know what I mean? Why is that? Well, I think I get so used to the technology, you know, like I love to turn my phone off. I love to write. I wrote a book of poetry in November called purposeful pain. And it's just through everything I've experienced in my lifetime with addiction, alcoholism, but primarily it goes right back to diabetes, because, you know, as kids, we want to rebel, and my heart really goes out to young type one diabetes now in early diagnosis, and my good friend of mine, who I got on the podcast, her son is three, and I was one of the first people she called to tell me he had been diagnosed. And you know, I was bullied a lot as a kid. I was bullied for being overweight. I was bullied for being one of the guys when you grow up with two brothers, and then you go on. To have two kids who are boys. You know, you don't really feel all that feminine. You live in that rebellious, hyper masculine. I'm going to do what I want, and people can tell me to eat a slice of humble pie, but I'm just going to have the cake and eat it too. Kind of thing, right? Like, I don't believe in Can I point

Speaker 1 10:17
something out? Yeah, I asked if either of your parents had mental health issues, and I've been to a funeral. Now I've been to like I and I heard your dad had dementia, which I'm sorry for. But does he have any mental health issues? Is he? Does he have bipolar disorder? Does he have this? Is there any of that in your family? Let's talk about the tandem Moby insulin pump from today's sponsor tandem diabetes care, their newest algorithm control iq plus technology and the new tandem Moby pump offer you unique opportunities to have better control. It's the only system with auto Bolus that helps with missed meals and preventing hyperglycemia, the only system with a dedicated sleep setting, and the only system with off or on body wear options, tandem Moby gives you more discretion, freedom and options for how to manage your diabetes. This is their best algorithm ever, and they'd like you to check it out at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox when you get to my link, you're going to see integrations with Dexcom sensors and a ton of other information that's going to help you learn about tandems. Tiny pump that's big on control tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, the tandem Moby system is available for people ages two and up who want an automated delivery system to help them sleep better, wake up in range and address high blood sugars with auto Bolus. You can manage diabetes confidently with the powerfully simple Dexcom g7 dexcom.com/juice box. The Dexcom g7 is the CGM that my daughter is wearing. The g7 is a simple CGM system that delivers real time glucose numbers to your smartphone or smart watch. The g7 is made for all types of diabetes, type one and type two, but also people experiencing gestational diabetes, the Dexcom g7 can help you spend more time in range, which is proven to lower a 1c The more time you spend in range, the better and healthier you feel. And with the Dexcom clarity app, you can track your glucose trends, and the app will also provide you with a projected a 1c in as little as two weeks. If you're looking for clarity around your diabetes, you're looking for Dexcom, dexcom.com/juicebox, when you use my link. You're supporting the podcast, dexcom.com/juicebox, head over there. Now,

Em 12:47
you know, that's a great question, because when he started, his mental health started deteriorating, and my neighbors reached out to me. They were worried about me, you know, because I used to babysit their kids. So my dad has been, he's been out and about in the neighborhood. He's been muttering to himself, you know, he forgets where he is. My neighbor told me he went over to her for an hour to talk about selling my car. I have two vehicles in my name, right? And he was driving my cars around. He was driving a car around with no license. And you know, I kept trying to make amends with him over it, because, you know, that's my dad. He worked really, really hard when I was a kid. He used to write manuscripts for airplanes, but his dad actually had bipolar disorder, and this was, yeah, yeah. So my dad was born in the 50s, and back then, you know, wait, I gotta ask you

Speaker 1 13:37
a question. Your dad wrote, your dad wrote manuscripts for air. Is there, like, a whole section of the world that, like, where airplanes are actors I don't understand. Like, what do you

Em 13:46
know? Literally, like, he, he worked for Bombardier, which was a Canadian company. And actually, in 98 my little brother was born in Seattle, so the company took us out there, and then they brought us back to Canada. And I remember when I was diagnosed, like I can remember everything from that time. I call them the finger pokes, those awful hospital things that just like, cut deep, right into your finger. And my dad was really scared of losing benefits. And, you know, he worked so hard. He worked two jobs, actually, in Toronto. He also was a janitor for a school board, so my mom was a stay at home mom, so she raised us, and then, you know, I rebelled a lot as a young kid with diabetes, I took over my own care at the age of nine, and she let me, so I'm really grateful to my parents for that. Did

Speaker 1 14:34
she have any health issues, mental health or otherwise? Well, none

Em 14:37
that I can diagnose, because I'm not a professional. I don't let my parents interfere in my, you know, privacy. I attend regular physician appointments. I got like, 10 doctors in my phone, and I try to follow up as much as I can, because, you know, I have a full license. I drive with glasses at night with an astigmatism. I go to regular eye doctor appointments. So it's really important to. Diabetes, that we don't neglect our self care, and that we have firm boundaries as adults as well. And children can have boundaries too, but I know parents care. So

Speaker 1 15:09
then, what about you? What are all the diagnosis that you have? Your type one? Do you have anything else? Yeah.

Em 15:14
So I was diagnosed in 2016 with bipolar disorder under active addiction. I was taking lithium for a long time, and I took it through having my first son, and he was born with, it's called a ventricular septal defect. So he was born with a little hole in his heart. You know, he was followed by a cardiologist while he was still, like in my stomach in gestation. He was born eight pounds, nine ounces, and they said, Oh, he's really long. He's a toddler. And then my second baby, I lost him in a miscarriage, and I named him Grayson. And that was 2021 so that was with the father of my second or third child, who is named Owen. And my first son is Evan. So Owen was born two years ago, on the 17th he'll be two, and he's my rainbow baby. You know, he is stubborn. He was 10 pounds at 36 in six weeks, because on the gram side of the family, you know, we gave him my ex husband's last name. They had big babies, like my ex sister in law, is tiny, but she was having big old babies. And how

Speaker 1 16:21
were your blood sugars? Your a one seeds during the pregnancy, they were okay. I remember my

Em 16:25
first pregnancy. I went in. I knew I was pregnant, but I was 21 and I was scared to tell anybody, because I was still in university. So when I moved home, my mom was like, I know you're pregnant. Like, there's no like, I was taking tests and hiding it from people. The father of my first son, you know, is not was never in the picture. I raised him alone. So I remember going in and my a 1c, was like, 11, and they're like, you gotta your baby will be born with complications. And I said, Okay, so the next month I went in, my ANC was five, because I knew I had to get my together as a mother. And it wasn't just about me. You know how to do it, though, I know how to do it. You know, with all the stress in my life, my last day a 1c was 7.8 and my family doctor was like, I'm shocked by this. Like, they were like, We're shocked with everything you have going on that you kept your blood sugars in control. I said yes, because I finally learned that no is a full sentence. No, I'm not going to extend my shift. No, I'm not going to extend a 12 hour shift. No, I'm not going to pick up another one. Because, you know, when I worked overnights in an in emergency rooms, I couldn't eat at night. You know, I feel sick at night, so I would try to eat during the day and sleep during the day. But then, you know, you got all those lows because you're taking too much. I take Tracy, but daily, and then I take fast acting, so whatever I can get my hands on with my benefits, or sometimes I just buy insulin and submit it later. Insulin rationing is like a really scary thing that I used to do, but I'm lucky to be in Canada, the New Democratic Party actually just made it free for diabetes to have access to insulin, and can't be denied it based on financial need. Tell

Speaker 1 18:05
me a little bit about how old were you when they gave you the bipolar diagnosis? And how does it like, yeah, it's kind of like, seasons, right? Like, like, yeah, yeah. Like, where are you right now? Yeah. So

Em 18:16
for me, I was 19, going on 20. You know, a bipolar disorder. There's a lot, I know, a lot of type of diabetes who gets active in addiction and alcoholism, and then they get diagnosed with that. And even I've had the same psychiatrist since then, and he kind of, he said to me, You know what? I think you were misdiagnosed and you shouldn't take lithium. When I had my last pregnancy with my little guy, what I did was I reached out to him. I said, I'm not taking lithium. He said, No problem. What do you want to do? I said, I'm going to wean off it. He said, No problem. So that's what I did. And by the end of my pregnancy, I was on no mental health medication, and I was already dealing with what I called pre Partum Depression. I was going to work every day. I worked right up until the last month, January 17 of 2023 was my last day at work. And then one of the OB, GYN, said, You need to stop working. And I was huge, like I had three pounds of fluid. At my last ultrasound, they thought he was going to be 13 pounds. So I had a C section scheduled.

Speaker 1 19:18
So, em, let's go back to the question, though you're delightful, by the way, I love you. You are not listening to me at all. No,

Em 19:25
I don't listen. No. Good early direction.

Speaker 1 19:29
What are the seasons of bipolar? Which one are you experiencing right now?

Em 19:35
So for me, this is not mania. For me, if I was manic, I would be racking up debt. I would be, you know, going around and doing whatever I could, like, I just remember being manic and like, I would just literally be cycling through people through the night, like I would go to one house, someone would, like, pick me up. I'd leave all my belongings with them, and then go to another place. You know, I've. Had people tell me, you're what? Your life isn't worthy. You know, you're a diabetic who works in health care. And I'm like, Yeah, but maybe that means my life is worthy. So mania, like, I could be manic right now, if I'm excited, right? But if I was manic, I'd be sitting here talking in code. I would be like, 333, but for me, you know, I just, I tell it how it is, because life's too short,

Speaker 1 20:24
so hold on. So if you were having a, if you're in a manic phase, yeah, I'd feel like I was listening to someone who was just speaking a different language. And you would be making sense. You you would think you were making sense. Yeah, okay. And then yeah. And then, like, right now, yeah, you are keywording like you're keywording yourself. Yeah, I say something, you get maybe a sentence into it, and then you hear a word in it. You follow the word, and while you're explaining that, you hear another word and follow that word exactly,

Em 20:55
because that's how my brain works. You know, I was actually just told I had ADHD as well.

Scott Benner 21:00
So, I mean, I'm not surprised, if I'm being honest.

Em 21:04
So my diabetic nurse was like, I don't think you have any of that. I think you're just traumatized from diabetes. And I was like, Well, what is it, you know? What is it?

Speaker 1 21:12
So, how does it impact your life? Yeah, I heard what happens when you're manic when you're not? Do you have a moment where you can you see yourself, like, do you look back at a manic episode and go like, Oh my God. Like, or is it like, it never happened?

Em 21:23
No, I definitely when I got sober again, like, I'm just past two months sober, it was really important for me, because my last drink, I ended up blacking out so bad. Like, my ex husband was the one keeping me alive. He was checking my Dexcom. I remember waking up that morning, and I crawled to the shower, and he was going to work, and I called him, and I said, You need to come home. And he's like, no, no, I'm at work. I said, No, no, you need to come home. I couldn't look my children in the face. Manic. Emily would have woken up, kept drinking, not given a what happened? And then she would have been like, on a Benner, right? Like I saw my son yesterday. I hope I see him again tonight. But for mania, like, what I would be doing right now is telling you, oh, I'm flying right now to where you are, and we're gonna we're gonna do this in person. We're gonna do this. We're gonna do that like that is mania. Anyone can have a manic state of mind. Anyone can then go, oh, and I'll proudly tell you I take lurasiddone, which is La TUDA. It's an off brand version, and that is helping stabilize me as well as I had a cancer scare this past year. My white blood cell count was elevated from taking lithium. And then they're like, We don't know if you have cancer, from diabetes, from substance abuse, from this or that. So I just went, Okay, so I think, you know, when you're 28 and you're a young mom and you hear you might have cancer, you're gonna start acting a little crazy, right? So I'll throw it back to you, Scott,

Speaker 1 22:51
I don't know. I'm exhausted. Hold on a second. You mentioned the podcast early on, right? So, yeah, it's been valuable for you.

Em 23:00
It has, you know, but I, I was really bad, like, I hated listening, right? Like I was in, I was active in the groups and, like, what's really important is the message that comes. Like, you have moderators, you have people who have sent me episodes, have given me advice, because when I got back on a pump, well, I dealt with insulin, pooling and tunneling. I've tried pumps and I hated them. Like, if I could only have one technological advance in diabetes, it would be a bionic pancreas that worked, or a Dexcom sensor, or this or that. So for me, like, I've rebelled my whole life with diabetes. Like I would go to a party during two excess and people would be like, are you diabetic? And I'd be like, nope, nope. I would lie. You know, I wouldn't want to listen. You know, even people, like in medical professions, they don't, they don't have any formal education and diabetes. So I'll throw it back to you there, like,

Speaker 1 23:54
if you didn't have the bipolar, yeah, do you think the drinking would be the same? Do you connect the two of them?

Em 23:59
Yeah? Because once I stopped drinking, like, this time around, I said, Well, I had been in I had been sober before, right? Like, I was sober for my pregnancies, anytime I'd see a positive test, and I would always know, very early on, I know my body very well, so as soon as I'd see a positive test, it'd be no more booze. And then, like, my ex drank a lot when he wasn't with me, and I was like, You know what? I'm doing the hard work here, you know, I birthed a 10 pound baby for you, and you, you know, held money over me. You lorded power over me. And then I realized this year, like some things about myself, like I'm bisexual, but I've never dated a woman, you know, he was always like, you're just diabetic, you're just bipolar, you're just a loser, you're just a psycho. And words hurt right? Like, if you stay with a man for just under four years, and every day when he has no formal education, he's telling you you're a loser. Well, what are you going to think of yourself? Young women shouldn't be with men or anybody for that matter. Matter that don't fill their cup up, right? Like, mothers, especially, we can't be pouring from empty cups. Like, how am I going to be driving my kids around if my blood sugar is low, I don't I pull over and I eat the Tim bits I got them, which are Canadian? Don't

Speaker 1 25:14
worry, I know what Tim bits are. I've talked to a lot of Canadians. Let me ask the question again. I think we might do a fun thing where I ask you the same question till we get an answer. Okay, do you think that drinking is a result of the bipolar?

Em 25:28
Yeah, like, I definitely like that is how I got diagnosed, right? Because when I came home from university that summer, my grandfather had died the year before in Ireland, I sat with him in a home run by Catholic nuns. And I just remember being like, where the did all the time go, you know, he was a sergeant major for the Dublin infantry. So for me, what did we do? We went to the local it's called the quarry house in Dublin, and we got drunk. And everyone paid for us to get drunk. Like, I remember sitting next to his open casket, and me and my little cousin went out and got high because I'm like, I don't want to look at that my dead grandfather. I want to numb this pain, right? So for me, I think, like, people misuse and abuse words like this, but like, I'm proud to say this, I don't give a blind what people think of me? You know, I'm Irish Catholic, if that doesn't make you an alcoholic and then an addict, I don't know. What does

Speaker 1 26:26
em Do you think that drinking is a direct relationship to bipolar disorder? Yes? Why?

Em 26:35
Because I think like self medication, right? What do diabetics do? We take insulin, we check our blood sugars, you know, I I love when I run into a young girl with diabetes, and she's like, arguing with her mom, and her mom's like, No, you can't have that ice cream. And then she's like, Okay. And then, you know, I see them part ways in the mall, and then what does she do? She's with her friends, and she's eating like, a kilo of ice Okay.

Speaker 1 26:59
Hold on. Stop, stop. Though, how does the drinking self medicate the bipolar? So

Em 27:04
if I was not taking medication, right, I would be buying a bottle and drinking that entire bottle, because

Speaker 1 27:10
it finishes sentence, because it what does it do for you? It self medicates. Does it slow things down? Does it No,

Em 27:20
it speeds things up, and then later it slows things down, which

Speaker 1 27:24
is valuable? What is this? Is the slow up or the speed down? Valuable for you both,

Em 27:28
you know, because what is bipolar disorder? It's called manic depression. So I have days where I'm like, at the top of the roller coaster, and I'm like, Oh, this is like a carnival.

Speaker 1 27:38
Then the drinking adds to the party. Exactly, okay. But then

Em 27:42
when the party's over, what are you left feeling holy. I don't know what my blood sugar is. I blacked out. I woke up in a field, and I have no idea what happened to me. And all my friends are laughing, right? Who are not diabetic?

Scott Benner 27:54
Are you hyper sexual at any point during it? Oh,

Em 27:57
always like I would party. And you know, I didn't care who I was sleeping with. When you grow up chubby, if a guy gives you the time of day, you're like, Okay, you know, you have no standards for yourself. Like, it breaks my heart when I see little chubby girls and they're like, you know, I'm fat. And I'm like, What is fat? You know, one man is going to love your body the way it is. Another one's gonna say he wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole. And you know what? Who cares?

Speaker 1 28:25
So did you end up with guys that sometimes liked you and sometimes just didn't like you? They were just there for you, for for easy sex. Oh,

Em 28:33
my God, I'll never forget being in university, and I was in an all girls dorm, and I was I had a really good friend. She had just moved there. She had been sexually assaulted in her old dorm, and I moved out of a dorm due to bullying. And so, you know, what did her and I do? Well, we drink, and then we'd be on these apps, you know, like Tinder, bumble, whatever it is. And then I remember, I invited a guy over, and we were intimate, and while we were in the middle of having sex, he literally said to me, you are not pretty enough for me to be seen in public with. So I literally said, Okay. I stopped it, and I remember crying and going to her room, and she came and freaked out on him. She screamed at him. She was drunk. And then what did he do? He just went, Okay, and he went home and then messaged me and said, Well, I have Asperger's, so I can say that, but I'm like, Okay, why? Like, do you think if I went around and said to a type one diabetic, I'm not giving you a juice box because I'm diabetic, would that make me a good person? No. So this is my whole thing with it is like people use anything to numb pain. They use medication, they use insulin, they use sex, they use drugs, they use alcohol. And this is why, when I talk, I start to ramble. But if I was manic, I would, literally, I would just start rapping for you, because that's what I do. I use music as therapy as well.

Scott Benner 29:50
What kind of rap would I be hearing? Oh, you'd be hearing

Em 29:53
my mom by Eminem, or forever, or, you know, like I really. We love Jelly Rolls music, and I was going to go see him in March, but I ended up trading his concert tickets with someone because I knew if I went to a concert as a health care worker and seeing people in active addiction and drinking, then I would do that right, because I got to work my life one day at a time. How long has it been since you've drank something? December 5 at midnight was the was the last time. Yeah, it's been two months.

Speaker 1 30:26
That's awesome. What are some benefits you've that you've noticed from not drinking, I'm

Em 30:31
more alert. You know, I went back to the gym. I knew how, like, I was trained in crisis intervention in a Midland Ontario emergency room. So when a man started to threaten me, like my ex husband, you know, he tried to break my wrist, and that's okay, it was just a sprain, so I had the courage to drive and go get an x ray, like old me would have just had a drink over that. You know what I mean,

Speaker 1 30:55
good for you? Like, yeah, you lost a bunch of weight recently. How did you do that? Yeah,

Em 30:59
you know, after my wedding in October, I was, like, heavily overweight. I was eating in excess at night. You're a mom, you know, you're not eating through the day. I would be working eight hour shifts, and then I would literally be, like, chugging iced coffee, eating donuts. Not to get political, because I'm kind of apolitical. But if

Speaker 1 31:16
you can go from donuts to political, I'm gonna be so impressed. Go ahead. What are you gonna say

Em 31:21
the day Trump got elected, I was smoking a cigarette outside the back of my work place, crying, and then I bought all our female co workers donuts because I said, What the is going on with the world, that a black woman cannot be president, and that we have to go back in time, and we have to look at women who were silenced with money, with power, with sexual assault, and all my friends were like, you don't look okay. And I'm like, I'm not okay, but it's fine. Everything's fine. That was my life. Like, literally going through the worst of my life, I'd walk into a room and smile because, you know, I know how to act like I'm okay, but like in sobriety, No, nothing's going to be sunshine and rainbows. That's not life. Life is still going to happen, whether or not I think

Speaker 1 32:06
I'm confused about something, yeah, what are you confused you were married four months ago, but you're not married anymore.

Em 32:12
No, I never certified the marriage because it was an abusive relationship.

Speaker 1 32:16
So How long had you been with this person before you had some sort of a ceremony?

Em 32:19
We met on a dating app in january 2021 which was COVID lockdown. So I don't know how it worked for you guys in the States, but for us, like police were like, you're not allowed to leave your house. And then people would be like, we met up. I drove out. He was about 40 minutes south of me, and he had no car jobs. So I was like, perfect. I'm gonna leave my kid with my mom and go for a drive. And then here I was with this man, you know, he met my son shortly after, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna watch this man like a hawk, because I don't around when it comes to my kids. Like, as a parent, I think you probably feel the same way, like, if your daughter called you and needed you, you'd show up, right? So for me, when I met him, I was like, you're gonna get a job, you're gonna get your license, you're gonna get a car. And we were like, on and off for four years. February 10 would have been our four year anniversary, but we had a messy separation before that. So the things that I thought, yeah,

Speaker 1 33:18
do you ever stand in front of a priest or a judge and get married. We

Em 33:22
stood in front of a wedding officiant in a park in Barrie in October.

Speaker 1 33:27
That can't count. It's Canadian, so like, yeah, all right, so you Okay, so you've you tried to make a more of a commitment four months ago, but now it's over, and he's the father of your the baby you lost, is that

Em 33:42
right? And my second Yeah, and my last shot and your last

Speaker 1 33:46
shot. Listen, this is gonna sound like a dig, but it's not. I'm so impressed with myself that I know that I can't begin to tell you. I swear to God, I'm like, Oh my God, I am following you, yes. And being serious, like, do you know like talking to you like this, yeah, if I'm really gonna listen, it's incredibly difficult.

Em 34:05
Oh, it's, it's difficult for me. Like, you know, my brain is like, just like going through a grocery list of what I need today, like this is what women do, no,

Speaker 1 34:15
but, but, but listen. You started with, I met a guy. He met my son soon after, you know, Scott, that I protect my kids because you must also, I don't even know, like, where that leap came from. Yeah. And then it just, you are. It's, oh my God, I feel like I'm on one of those roller coasters, the jerks you the left and the right, then up and then down. And I'm actually holding on, like, I swear to God, talking to you is like riding a bull. I'm gonna name this episode eight seconds. I'm naming this episode eight seconds for sure. Okay, oh, my God. Does anybody remember the Luke Perry movie eight seconds where he was a bull rider? Anyone at all? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I'm calling this episode eight seconds now, but at the same time, I don't think you know you're doing this. Yes, but you were giving such a great insight into your like your situation, and how your brain works, and how your life, you know, functions because of that, that I think that anybody who is listening to you and knows someone who is in a similar situation as you, I think this could give them a ton of compassion, because I know people like you in my personal life, and I watch them eventually be discarded by even people who love them, because it's just so fcking exhausting

Em 35:32
it is. You know, my parents, after my ex tried to break my wrist, my mom kicked me out of my childhood home. I've been living in hotels, and she's just told me she'd pay one for me for a week. You know, I had to meet my son with her in a grocery store, and I gave him Valentine's Day gifts. We gave out boxes of Smarties to some kids, and then my mom's like, I already got him Valentine's first class. I said, I don't care, because that's what I do as a mom. I'd show up for my kids pouring from an empty tank, I'd be like, I need to get gas. And they'd be screaming in the back seat that they didn't get enough Tim bits that day. You know, I have brought them to meetings to support my addiction, and I've done that sober, and I have been uplifted by strangers and thinking I'm alone in this world. I'm not alone, and if any type one diabetic who listens to this Wednesday feels like they're alone. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off, because by all accounts of like, how I used to drink and do drugs, I should be dead if

Speaker 1 36:31
I spoke to other people in your life. Yeah? Like if I talk to your mom or that guy or whatever, yeah, people you've worked for, do you think they'd say, No, M sweet. She's just got problems, and this is how they manifest. Or do you think they'd just be like, do you think they'd have a completely different view of you than you have of yourself? Absolutely,

Em 36:49
my mom is pretty harsh, like she was like, You did this to yourself. You chose to be with a man who assaulted you for four years, who drained your bank account like, that's what my mother said to

Scott Benner 37:01
me. She ignores the mental illness part of it, yeah,

Em 37:03
like she's like, You need to go back on lithium. And I'm like, I'm 28 years old. When I was diagnosed, I was still an adult, and I walked myself into that emergency room, and I was drunk and high, and I laid on the floor, and then I woke up in holding when I got brought by local municipality to the emergency same emergency room, my blood sugar was 20, and that emerged doctor that used to buy me coffee. He was like, just tell me you're high. And I'm like, No, I'm not high. I'm sober. He formed me so that means they put me on a 72 hour hold, and then I stayed under a lockdown in solitary confinement for a week. So I was alone in a room surrounded by people in mental health crises, being denied insulin, denied food, eating hospital food, like, if that's not enough to make anybody seem crazy, I don't know what is.

Speaker 1 37:53
What's the answer? Like, you've been in that situation. You've worked in that situation, right? Yeah. And you know, you know who you are. You know what your ailments are. How should they have treated you? Like, what would have helped you? You

Em 38:06
know what? I don't live in the yesterday, like, basically, my mom should have understood. Like, I told her I went to get an x ray on my wrist, and she just went. That was your fault. But we grew up Catholic, Irish, right? Like my nanny. She's 90 years old, sitting in Dublin, Ireland, right now she's still kicking. She had seven children and a bunch of miscarriages because there was no birth control back then. I actually tied my tubes after this 10 pound baby. I said, I'm not doing this to my body again. And you know, my ex, he wanted three kids. I came from a three kid household, and so did he. But I said this like life is too short. How am I going to be a career woman? How am I going to go back to school and have two kids who are young and they need me, and we're

Speaker 1 38:48
going to do it again. We're going to do it again. What could they have done for you that would have been valuable? They

Em 38:53
couldn't have believed me. They could have protected me. They could have supported me. Because

Speaker 1 38:58
in that moment, it doesn't matter if you're making like, if your brain's making something up or not, it doesn't matter, right? You're still feeling it was a lie. Yeah, wish it was right. You're still feeling it the way you're feeling it.

Em 39:09
And feelings are valid. You know, my little guy just got diagnosed. He's six, with ADHD, and I tried to put him on medication, and now my parents are trying to withhold that, but last time I checked he was in my sole custody. And when I go to a court of law and we go through Crown Prosecution, because that's what's happening, and I'm proud of that, all the facts are there. I know every officer's name my dad would call, God bless him, with his dementia, and he goes, she's attacking me with needles, my four millimeter needles that are enclosed in my purse.

Speaker 1 39:41
So if you're gonna go, do you have to go speak for yourself at some kind of a hearing?

Em 39:46
Yeah, it's gonna be virtual, which is great, because I teach patients how to use technology. So when I get frustrated with technology, I stop and I ask for directions, or I write it down, or I use my wits. Yeah,

Speaker 1 39:58
may I I'm gonna suggest that you make us think. You know, that says stay on topic and put it in front of you, because Absolutely, I'm gonna write it down, yeah? Because I I asked you what they could have done for you, and five seconds later, I was in Ireland with your grandma,

Em 40:11
yeah, because she would be disappointed in her daughter, yeah.

Speaker 1 40:15
But I don't even know how we got to that. And what could they have done for you? My mom, them this my grandmother, like Bob, like, I'm telling you, like, if you go in, if you do that, I don't think they're gonna let you have the kids if you do that.

Em 40:28
No, for sure. Like, but I stay active in my program. You know, I live in love and service. I do what I need to do to stay sober. Because, you know, when you're arrested with a broken wrist or a sprained wrist, and then you get released immediately. Well, most people would have ended up in a bar, right?

Speaker 1 40:46
Well, no, I wouldn't have, but I don't have your problem. My point is like, is the lithium the answer?

Em 40:53
I'm under physician care, and I take Latuda, so that's the lithium is not the answer, because lithium actually elevates the white blood cell count, but if someone is prescribed lithium, that's none of my business. That's called the privacy and health. Stay

Speaker 1 41:07
on you. Stay on you. Okay, so the lithium is not, not an answer for you. That's awesome, like you have the Latitude. Latitude is helping you with with some of the bipolar stuff. What would help? What would help with this piece of it? Believing in women, no, no, it ain't gonna help you because I'm believing you, and trust me, we're not getting we're not getting anywhere proof,

Em 41:24
proof in a court of law, the facts I have, the videos, I have the text message, that

Speaker 1 41:29
stuff's not going to help them. Think that you're going to be a good caregiver.

Em 41:33
But it's not up to my parents. It's up to a court of law to decide. I understand

Speaker 1 41:36
that, but what I'm saying is, is that if you go in there and you're a little slower and thoughtful and stay on topic, I think that's going to be really valuable for you. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 41:46
I'm going to write out points, yeah,

Speaker 1 41:49
because what we like, what we've gone over here in the last like 45 minutes, is that whether you're a lovely person or not, it can be difficult for people who are not struggling with the things you're struggling with to see you for who you are and how you feel, because I think they're just reading what you're giving them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, let me

Em 42:07
tell you three things that I've done in my sobriety since my parents have turned their back on me. One, I've bought coffee for homeless people and given them cigarettes. Two, I've supported people in early sobriety that have told me they needed help. Three I've called wellness checks on friends who were on heavy drugs, telling me that they didn't think their life was worth living. I showed up for them, and then they showed up for me in turn. But as a mother, you know, we don't show up for people. Are

Speaker 1 42:36
you telling me that you've been successful at looking out for friends and you think you could be successful looking out for your kids. Absolutely,

Em 42:43
I've never left my kids. I picked them up every day from school until they were removed from my custody. Temp, No,

Speaker 1 42:50
you were so close to completing that thought though, like that was good because you, you numbered it, and that really helped you, because you, you said three things, then you gave me three things, and I felt like what you were trying to say was, look, I've helped people in my life. I'll be a good caregiver to my children. And you were just, you were a split second away from getting it out, and then you pivoted,

Em 43:10
right? Well, that's how my brain works, right? It doesn't work that

Speaker 1 43:13
way. Yeah, no, I understand. I'm just trying to tell you what I think the reality of that hearing is going to be, yeah, yeah. Because if you put me in charge of judging you, and I didn't know anything about you or anything else. I just was hearing you for the first time, I'd be like, I don't know, this lady's got type one diabetes. She's fighting with bipolar. She hasn't been drunk in two months, which is awesome, but it's not exactly, you know, two years every question I'm asking her, I end up in Dublin with her 90 year old grandmother.

Em 43:39
Well, that's why, you know, like, I'm Catholic, so, like, I have faith, you know, I have faith in myself when people, you know, bipolar, like I I've been on off medication too, and it's I still go and attend regular appointments. I go to my medical doctor, my family doctor, and, you know what, the right people believe in me. And

Speaker 1 43:58
those are good points. Then those are the points I think you should make. Then, you know, like, seriously,

Unknown Speaker 44:02
because witnesses, right? Well,

Speaker 1 44:05
I mean, people who have seen you do these things over and over again and feel confident that you'll do them with your kids. Well,

Em 44:11
a wise man, his name is Adam, once said to me, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, right?

Speaker 1 44:21
Yes, but what does that have to do with what we're talking about? Tell me

Em 44:25
everything. Everything is a diabetic, you know, like I in sobriety, I remember everything. So then I want to talk about everything, but I don't have to talk. I can stick to the point which is what I'm going to do on my court date. I

Speaker 1 44:39
wish you a ton of luck. I hope that goes your way. Thank you. Yeah. How old are your kids?

Em 44:43
Evan will be seven in October, and Owen's almost two. What does Evan like to do? Everything. He loves McDonald's. He loves shopping. He loves Pokemon. He loves sports. I got him into soccer. I. Paid for him to take skating lessons, and he was too afraid to let go of the bar. What kind of a Canadian can't skate? I mean, I can skate, I just can't stop. So I just slam into the boards like Sidney Crosby, and then I do it

Speaker 1 45:11
up. I can't do either. But what does he enjoy in school? He loves

Em 45:15
math, which, like, you know, I love math. I love reading, writing. He loves it, too. And I got him into speech therapy, because since he was three, he's had a speech impediment assessment. And, you know, I used to translate for him. You know, I speak sign language, I speak French. So people can listen to this and say whatever they want about me, let them.

Speaker 1 45:35
I don't think anybody's gonna say I think, I think you're very brave to come on here and share your stuff like I really do. I've asked a number of questions I haven't gotten answers to, but, yeah, I have one that I'm really interested in. So like, stay with me. Okay, here, let me ask it this way. Tell me the three things you did to lose weight. I

Em 45:52
started eating like, six meals a day, grazing snacks instead of, like, eating all my calories at night. I stopped smoking weed, because, you know, when you get high, what are you going to do? You're going to get the munchies at two in the morning, and then you're eating like an entire bag of chips. I lost some dead weight, which was my ex husband. That's what I did

Speaker 1 46:13
when your mental burden with that relationship went away. That also helped you maybe not to overeat as much and and that helps you lose weight. He lost 70 pounds. Yeah,

Em 46:22
it's awesome. 70 pounds. That must have felt great. That whiskey weights hard to get off. You know, we got engaged at a whiskey tour in Dublin in March, and then I planned the wedding, and I spent about, I want to say, 40 grand on this man. In the last few years alone, I haven't seen a penny back from him in child support or anything my parents are paying for my children, and I drop off gifts. And, yeah, that's, that's the reality of my life. Don't be sorry. No, no,

Speaker 1 46:49
I listen. You deserve compassion. And it's a it sucks, like it really, listen, I don't care what you're struggling with. You know, a boy, don't need to take, you know, advantage of that. And then, and also, like, listen, it would be nice if they would say, like, you know, all right, I'm, I'm having, you know, some easy sex with this girl who called me from a nap, but I don't need to get her pregnant, you know. I mean, like, somebody could try a little bit, you know, I'm saying so somebody

Em 47:17
could pay their own bills. You know, he was driving around my cars under the influence, and he didn't even have a license. Scott, he was lying. He lies a lot, yeah, and I don't lie. I blow whistles, and then I know when to stop. And then so I like to do lists. I like to write. But you know when your right hand and your right hand dominant was snapped, and then you're putting Voltaire and extra strength on it, and you're still sober. Well, there's a song by Nickelback. It's called Never again. It's about domestic violence and substance abuse. Because as I got more sober, he got worse, and, you know, we work in the same place, so I started telling women how he treated me, and they were shocked. They said he always sings your praises. I said, that's in public, but behind closed doors. So that's why I tell women in domestic violence situations, open the door, yell for help, call someone you trust. Don't make the same mistakes that I did, because you will have regrets. But we don't have to live in regrets. We can find the solution every day. And if you can drink responsibly, power to you, I cannot. Most diabetics can't if they don't know when to

Speaker 1 48:24
stop, right? You don't think type ones can drink responsibly. I think

Em 48:28
they can. I went out to dinner with co workers. I had a glass of wine, but then when I was at home, I was drinking the bottle alone, right? And they're like, Oh, you had a good night. You only had one glass of wine. And I'm like, hahaha, yeah. Because what do we do in addiction? We lie, you know, we say I'm fine, and then people are like, well, what are you doing? And then we sit in a room full of anonymous people, and you know, that's not something to be discussed about either, right? Like my program is not allied with anything. So for me, I show up because people have told me, people have kicked me out. They've told me I'm nothing. They've called me crazy and delusional. And to them, I say, keep coming back.

Speaker 1 49:06
Well, listen, I've only heard you say one crazy thing, and I'm gonna bring it up. How the hell do you think you know who your blood sugar is by your pulse. I

Em 49:14
can tell when your pulse slows down. My blood sugar is usually high. When my pulse is rapid, it's usually low, but not every time, not every time, but it's also like, heightened emotion, right? So if I'm like, in the middle of having sex, and then, you know, I'm exhausted after well, do I have a low blood sugar, or did I just do a physical activity? Right?

Scott Benner 49:33
Exhausted? What are you doing?

Unknown Speaker 49:37
Not to be discussed on this podcast. You

Speaker 1 49:41
know, when I get out of the harness and I'm exhausted, let me just tell you something, yeah,

Em 49:45
when you, when you uncuff the pink, fuzzy handcuffs, and you turn off Sabrina Carpenter, or the sex playlist you were playing, you know, I love Sabrina Carpenter,

Speaker 1 49:55
girl from the from the Grammys, the little like blonde girl me

Em 49:59
every. I know, yes, the little blonde girl, because she was an actress,

Speaker 1 50:03
I don't think I could have sex to that song. I'm just saying, Well, you know,

Unknown Speaker 50:07
Scott, we all have our vices.

Speaker 1 50:11
Oh, my God. All right, I shudder to ask you this question, but is there anything we didn't talk about that you want to

Em 50:16
if there is a young type one diabetic out there, and I don't care your gender, but I'm the only one we did the genetic testing, so I'm the only one in my family. I'm the black sheep. If there's a young girl out there with diabetes and you know she's being bullied or letting people tell her that she's nothing, or that you know her mom is making her feel like she has to eat in secret. Be bold. Live your life. Live your life on your terms, and understand the consequences of your actions, because life is short. And as diabetics, you know we can live our whole lives and we never know. When you know complications arise, you keep trucking and you keep your chin up, you keep your head up. And my Both my grandfathers fought in the world wars, so I wasn't raised to submit to powerlessness. I was raised to have hope, and that's the message I want to give today to anyone out there who needs it. I have

Speaker 1 51:08
a statement and a question go. My statement is, is that I've decided that I'm not calling the episode eight seconds. I'm actually calling the episode eight seconds to Dublin. Hey, I like that. It's literally an awesome title. It might be my favorite. Whatever I prove my question is, is that I'd like to understand, if I could how the podcast, like, this thing that I've delivered to you, like, I want to know how it how it's helped you. Well, I probably should ask for you to tell me the five ways that it's helped you, but tell me how it's helped you. Yeah. So number

Em 51:38
one, when you grow up without technology, you kind of rebel against it when it fails, you know, ripping pump sides out, ripping sensors out that are bleeding. You know, taking a wooden spoon to a sensor because it got stuck. So the technological aspect of it, two the different opinions, because, like, it's not just like you and one other person sitting on a podcast chat, and you have different people every day. You have different expert those are important too, because opinions are important, but the right opinions are what matter. Three would be the Facebook group. Now I do. I haven't been as active in it as of late because, you know, I tend to argue with people and be that keyboard warrior. One mom's gonna say, I eat vegan and I don't eat anything like this. Another mom is going to say, oh, we'll need protein and we food restrict. People can do whatever they want, but they should never tell their kids to eat disordered. Because what are kids going to do when they're not with you? They're going to abuse insulin. They're going to but that's not for me to say either you need what you need four would be the education and the differences in that. Like, I hate when I hear people say, wow. Like, I was taking 60 units of Tracy, but I take about 36 to 40 now. People are like, Wow, you're so fat. Well, yeah, when you had a 10 pound baby and you got a lot of belly fat, you need all that insulin, or it's not going to take you through the next level. And then I want to

Speaker 1 52:57
second for a second, you're doing great, but I'm going to conversate with you for a second. Have you tried a GLP medication for weight because, yeah,

Em 53:04
I was on Metformin, but I have no gallbladder that came out in my last pregnancy.

Speaker 1 53:09
No, not the pills that get injectable, that go for weight, step bound. Or

Em 53:13
you guys use ozempic heavily in America, but in Canada, you can only get ozempic for free if

Speaker 1 53:19
you're type two diabetic, there's no version of it for weight loss, not that we would have to pay for it. Benefits. Don't want to cover it. The reason I bring it up is I have an episode. It's not that old. Now, a mom came on to talk about her kids bipolar. Yeah, they found, I'll find it for you. They they found a number of things that helped, yep, and they were able to lessen a lot of the bipolar symptoms, but then the kid went on a GLP for weight, and then it ended up being valuable with some of the bipolar stuff too.

Em 53:57
Well, that's what I take the medication, as advised by my psychiatrist. But let me tell you, I was in with my Endo, and we were trying to do ozempic. We were trying, I was on Metformin. Oh, my God, I could not poop like Metformin was insane. It made me feel so sick

Speaker 1 54:13
if they ever try anything like that again. Yeah, you need to add, like, a little magnesium oxide to your day, and that should help. Good point.

Em 54:19
I'm actually taking zinc and magnesium, and I take daily vitamins because I have a type one diabetic friend. She's a personal trainer, yeah, so we always check in that way. Specifically

Speaker 1 54:28
magnesium, there's a number of different forms of magnesium, but oxide, specifically will help you go to

Em 54:34
the bathroom. Perfect. Yeah, we all need to poop. Yeah? They say

Speaker 1 54:39
everyone does it. Yeah. I wish I could find it here. I'm not finding it, but I'll, I will find it for you, and I'll get it to you.

Em 54:46
No worries. Cool. All right, you were pretty great at this. I'm pretty good at making statements. Scott, how

Speaker 1 54:53
do you feel when it's over after an hour of this? Are you tired by it? Is it invigorating? How does it feel? You know?

Em 54:59
Why? It's, it's tiring because, like, I'm an over share, right? You never know who needs to hear your message. But I, I think there's power in, oh my god. Like, I'll go hang out with a friend and then have coffee, and then I'm like, Oh my God, this was exhausting. Why? Because I don't like being alone, but I do like being alone sometimes, and I like to go to the gym and and talk with people who are like Jesus, I don't know how to judge you. Well, you know what? It's everyone judges. I'm Catholic. Thou shalt not judge, though. So I'll leave it at that.

Scott Benner 55:27
Well, I know you're Catholic because you told me 853 times.

Unknown Speaker 55:30
850 times. I'm just trying to explain. What do you

Speaker 1 55:34
think being Catholic has to do with some of the things that are happening to you? Well,

Em 55:38
my aunt was beaten black and blue for years, and then when my, uh, uncle, or sorry, my great aunt, so when he died, you know, his family didn't want a service, but she had one, because that's what Catholics do.

Speaker 1 55:52
But how does that impact you? How does that whole Catholic experience impact you? I

Em 55:56
think it's because I'm a bit of a rebel, but I have a cause now. So I advocate. You know, I bought a magazine about diabetes education, and I plan to give it to a police officer next time I see him, because you can't deny someone insulin.

Speaker 1 56:10
Are you telling me that being Catholic makes you an advocate? Hell

Em 56:13
yeah, it does. Because I'm half Irish, full throttle. All right, man. All right.

Speaker 1 56:18
All right. I'm definitely calling this one eight seconds to Dublin. That's all that. It's the best title of a podcast episode I've ever dreamt up. I

Unknown Speaker 56:26
love it. I approve signed, sealed delivery. I am

Speaker 1 56:29
the person who wrote butthole adjacent and, oh, I love it. The frozen urine of diabetes, I wrote both of those. And I think that frozen urine as I'm freezing in my car. No, I'm gonna let you go so you can turn your heater on, more than anything. Okay,

Em 56:43
that's what that northern Canadian attitude is for, Scott. But you alive when

Scott Benner 56:47
you're when you're the bloods freezing inside of you,

Em 56:51
slowing down, and you're like, ooh, but that's what the remote start is for. I got a 2025, CRV, which is a good car, but you're not as good as your car. You're just as good as your brain. It's

Speaker 1 57:01
awesome. All right, I'm gonna let you go. You were terrific. Thank you so much for doing okay.

Em 57:04
Thanks, Scott, you take care. Say hi to Arden. I will wish you all the best. Go test your blood sugar. You're very nice. All right, have a great day. Okay, take care. Bye. Bye.

Speaker 1 57:18
Dexcom sponsored this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom g7 at my link. Dexcom.com/juice box. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast was sponsored by the new tandem Moby system and control iq plus technology. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juice box. Check it out. Earlier you heard me talking about blue circle health, the free virtual type one diabetes care, education and support program for adults. And I know it sounds too good to be true, but I swear it's free thanks to funding from a big T 1d philanthropy group, blue circle health doesn't bill your insurance or charge you a cent. In other words, it's free. They can help you with things like carb counting, insurance navigation, diabetes technology, insulin adjustments, peer support, Prescription Assistance and much more. So if you're tired of waiting nine months to get in with your endo or your educator, you can get an appointment with their team within one to two weeks. This program is showing what T 1d, care can and should look like currently, if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana, if you live in one of those states, go to blue circle health.org. To sign up today. The link is in the show notes, and please help me to spread the word blue circle health. Had to buy an ad because people don't believe that it's free, but it is. They're trying to give you free care if you live in Florida, Maine, Vermont, Ohio, Delaware, Alabama and Missouri. It's ready to go right now. And like I said, they're adding states so quickly in 2025 that you want to follow them on social media, blue circle health, and you can also keep checking blue circle health.org to see when your free care is available to you. Okay, well, here we are at the end of the episode. You're still with me. Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review? Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribed in your podcast app. Go to YouTube and follow me or Instagram. Tik, Tok. Oh gosh, here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page you don't want to miss. Please do not know about the private group. You have to join the private group as of this recording, it has 51,000 members in it. They're active talking about diabetes, whatever you need to know. There's a conversation happening in there right now, and I'm there all the time. Tag me. I'll say hi if you're living with type one diabetes. The after dark collection from the Juicebox Podcast is the only. Place to hear the stories that no one else talks about, from drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more, go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and click on after dark there you'll see a full list of all of the after dark episodes. Hey, what's up everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way. Recording, doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way. Recording.com, you got a podcast. You want somebody to edit it. You want rob you.

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