#985 After Dark: Coin Flip
My Anonymous Female Guest (type 1 for 25 years) talks about using drugs and alcohol beginning when she was 12 years old.
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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 986 of the Juicebox Podcast. It is not episode 986 Hello friends, and welcome to episode 985 of the Juicebox Podcast.
Today's episode features an anonymous female who's had type one diabetes for 25 years diagnosed at age eight in the late 90s. She's now an attorney. She's on today to talk about her life with type one, but more specifically about how she grew up and the drugs and drinking that started in her life at a very early age. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. I drink ag one every morning and you could to use my link drink ag one.com forward slash juice box to get a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order. Would you like to save 40% off your entire order of sheets, joggers, towels all the good comfy stuff that cozy Earth has use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com And you can get 10% off your first month of therapy@betterhelp.com forward slash juicebox
this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod Omni pod makes the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash. You can learn more about both get started today. And see the pump that my daughter has been wearing since she was four years old at Omni pod.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored today by touched by type one checkout touched by type one on their Facebook page, Instagram, and it touched by type one.org. That website is where you're gonna get tickets to see me speak at the next touch by type one event in September. Touched by type one.org. The tickets are free, but a lot of people have already signed up. It's gonna be a huge crowd, we're gonna have a great time. I'll be speaking a few times during the day. And so we'll Jenny touched by type one.org Go get your tickets before they run out of chairs.
Anonymous Female Speaker 2:36
So I am a type one diabetic of 25 years. This is month is actually my anniversary of being diagnosed with type one back in 1998. So that makes me 33 years old, and I am an attorney in the southeastern part of the country.
Scott Benner 2:58
You say you it was 25 years ago? 25 years ago? Wow. That seems like such a long time. And you say it like that. And you were eight years old?
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:07
Oh, yeah. I had just turned eight, the December prior. So about a month after Christmas,
Scott Benner 3:13
like a belated gift. Yeah, exactly.
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:18
It was a great one.
Scott Benner 3:19
I just yesterday put a bunch of likes on my birthday wishes on facebook from seven months ago. Do you think those people will be confused when they turn their Facebook ads?
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:28
Probably but I love it. I hope that I hope it starts to pop up on people's feeds.
Scott Benner 3:34
Yeah. I looked at I was like, Wow, a lot of people wish me happy birthday. I never saw it. And then I felt bad about it and went through and read them all like them. And then I thought I
Anonymous Female Speaker 3:44
forgot that they even left a birthday.
Scott Benner 3:47
Oh, there's no doubt they're forgotten. Oh, yeah. No doubt they forgotten. But I, I as I was doing it. I'm like, Why do I care about like, why am I like I kept thinking like, maybe they're going to later see that and go. Why did he like that seven months later? What's wrong with him? You don't I mean? Right. Yeah. Okay. For certain I think that's gonna happen. Or your one of two things is happening. You have external speakers that are still on. And if they are turning them off, okay, I'm hearing my voice through your microphone. How's that? I don't know. I'd have to talk first. Testing 1111. That's better. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. So you are 33 years old. You are an attorney. And you've had diabetes for 25 years.
Anonymous Female Speaker 4:44
- That's right. Okay.
Scott Benner 4:46
Why did you want to come on the podcast? I know. But why don't you share it with everybody.
Anonymous Female Speaker 4:50
So I was on Facebook. I'm a part of the Facebook group. And I saw an announcement looking for Are people to come on and do and after dark episode and I thought, well, now is my time to shine, I've got plenty of things that could fall under the, the umbrella of after dark, plenty of shenanigans I've gotten into in my 25 years of being diabetic. And also to say, it all worked out. You know, I'm here and I'm fine. And, but not without, you know, some consequences and complications, but
Scott Benner 5:31
we'll find out. I appreciate you coming on doing that. Actually, the outpouring of, of decency from people, when I asked about that was really something like, I think at one point, I was like, I'm looking for somebody to talk about mental health impacts and stuff like that. And instead of what I thought was gonna happen, which is maybe I'd get a person to talk about it. I think I now have six episodes about this with six different people. And wow, a lot of people would say, Well, what are you gonna do with all that? I'm putting it out?
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:00
Yeah, I think it's really helpful. Yeah. They've been incredibly helpful for me. I know. Good, good.
Scott Benner 6:05
So you know, you you kind of ruined it at the end. You're not a natural storyteller. You're like, it all worked out? Because you said your attorney. So some people like to us, you know, Oh, yeah. But some people heard you're an attorney. And they think, Oh, God, it went terribly wrong. My parents would say otherwise, Oh, are they still paying for those loans? Or did they give them to you?
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:30
I think that they're just grateful that I've
Scott Benner 6:35
gotten really, okay. Well, let's find out.
Anonymous Female Speaker 6:38
If I'm being too hard on myself. No. Well,
Scott Benner 6:41
I mean, I can see your list here. Let's talk about it for a minute. So you, you're diagnosed as well, don't worry, I'll bring it all up. So you don't you're diagnosed when you're eight. And give me just a little bit about that. Because I feel like you're gonna have a lot of content. So difficult, easy, don't remember it. It
Anonymous Female Speaker 7:03
wasn't, I would, I would say it was incredibly traumatic. I hadn't really been able to describe it that way, until I got into therapy to realize that the whole situation was a trauma. I was sick. For most of my seven year of life, I got the flu. And from the flu, likely came the diabetes. So I just stayed sick. I started wetting the bed again, and throwing up and being very embarrassed about it. My parents kind of had an idea of what was possibly going on with me because my mom, bless her heart is a retired registered nurse. And so I think that they had good intentions of trying to shield for me what they thought to be true. But essentially, what happened is, I was told I was going on a vacation, pack your bags, and we show up at a children's hospital. And I didn't leave until a week later. And that was very confusing for me as an eight year old.
Scott Benner 8:03
They told you is a vacation?
Anonymous Female Speaker 8:05
Yes. Yeah. Yeah,
Scott Benner 8:11
yeah, that's a misstep. I'm gonna let you know. Right.
Anonymous Female Speaker 8:15
It was it was in, you know, because, of course, when we got there, and I realized it was a hospital, I locked them out of the car and refused to get out and made a scene and was rushed. Finally back to the ER, they knew I was coming. My pediatrician had called and it was a whirlwind of tubes in my arms, blood, poke all that. And just being told that I was type one diabetic. And the only context I had for that was Stacey from the Babysitter's Club series, I knew that she was type one diabetic. But in my mind, I thought that I was never going to be able to leave the hospital again for the rest of my life that this was it.
Scott Benner 8:55
Really? Yeah, you're one of only a couple people have ever brought up that book series. Really? Yeah. It's interesting, like people talk about it a lot online, but never bring it up on the podcast. And I always wonder like, why that just took me by surprise us that, hey, I have this image in my head of the old door locks and cars were the like the stem pulled up out of the door and you had to push them down. Did you like have to dive back and forth in the car and push down all the locks?
Anonymous Female Speaker 9:24
Yes, yes. And my parents, they had a keyless entry on the car. And so it was just back and forth, back and forth. Until you know, they could finally just do a door when that battle.
Scott Benner 9:39
They must have been like, why don't we just leave it in the car and go home? Are you the only are you an only child by any chance?
Anonymous Female Speaker 9:45
I'm not I'm the baby though. of three. Oh,
Speaker 1 9:49
well. Then same idea. Like I was thinking if your only child that could be like, well, we could start over. But like if you're like the youngest of three, I think you'd be like we have two that are perfectly functioning. Why don't we Why don't we just go? She was in the car, she'll figure it out. Right?
Scott Benner 10:05
Right. So you had a real? I know this is a hard thing to ask somebody to remember back 25 years when you were a child and everything. But did you have issues prior to the diagnosis? Or do you really think this kicked you into a direction
when you get to Omni pod.com, forward slash juice box and scroll past this picture, this weird looking guy from the podcast, you're gonna see some text says Get started today. And you're able to choose two different paths that you click on, check my coverage. To find out if your insurance is going to cover Omni pod and get started. Or you click on I'd like a free trial of Omni pod. I'm going to take that pod for a test drive. It's up to you. I don't care. Head to omnipod.com forward slash juicebox. And give it a try. Scroll down really read. Read the whole site, you're gonna see some stuff there that I think you're gonna find very interesting. Very interesting. In diddly doo. How about that the AMI pod is tubeless. You can wear it in the shower, in a lake, in the ocean in your pool. You thought that's not a big deal. But it is. Because every day you bathe, and every other insulin pumps gotta come off. Not the only pod it goes right with you. That way you're always getting your insulin. And you don't have weird high blood sugar's because you're like disconnected and then forgot to put your pump back on. That's not going to happen with Omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. My daughter has been wearing an omni pod every day since she was four years old. And she's 19. That's 15 years. Is it? 19 minus four? Yes, that's 15 years. That's a long time. Um, the pod has been a friend through this whole thing. Absolutely amazing customer service, quality product, you get what you pay for. And actually, my insurance covers it pretty much completely. So that's not really an issue. Okay, I never thought of that. Hey, maybe your insurance will cover to Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Go over there now and decide do I want Omni pod dash? Do I want that Omni pod five? What are you gonna do? links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com to Omnipod and touched by type one touched by type one.org. Don't forget to go get your tickets and check out what they're doing. Touched by type one is my favorite organization that helps people with type one diabetes. And I think you're gonna love what they're doing had touched by type one.org. Now let's get back and find out the answer to my question. What was my question? issues prior to the diagnosis? Or do you really think this kicked you into a direction?
Anonymous Female Speaker 12:50
I think I was predisposed in a lot of ways, just family history wise. And this was one of several things that just kind of nature and nurture met very well together. And it was off to the races from there.
Scott Benner 13:05
Gotcha. You got the wrong side of both of nature and nurture.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:08
I did I did. I'm sure
Scott Benner 13:11
you're very good at something else. Like for instance, technology.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:16
Yeah, in fact, I've been described as quite a genius as far as that is concerned. Yeah,
Scott Benner 13:22
by me, eventually, one day when I tell people that we've been recording for 10 minutes, but we've been on the phone for 30.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:29
Yeah, I think your your words were and I quote, well, this is not the worst I've seen.
Scott Benner 13:35
There have been some bad ones you did pretty well, actually, for somebody who turned it on and it wasn't working the way they expected. It must be a panic I've never asked before but you're like, oh my god, right? Like this. It's not working.
Anonymous Female Speaker 13:47
Yeah. And then I'm like, now I just looked ridiculous. And like I wasn't prepared. And I as a type A person that drives me crazy to think that I've got everything under control.
Scott Benner 13:59
So so the pain was focused at you not at letting me down? Yeah, well, it's good. By the way, I don't know how I would have handled if you were if you said something like, Oh, I didn't want to mess up in front of you, Scott. I'd be like, Oh, God, I don't. I never noticed.
Anonymous Female Speaker 14:16
No, I feel like and I'm sure you hear this a lot. But over listening to your podcast and stuff. I think I have enough of a sense of you to know that. You really don't really
Scott Benner 14:28
like this. I don't have anything to do for like three hours. I was like, whatever this is okay, I was gonna talk to you, and then have a drink. And then I'm interviewing the CEO of tide pool at five o'clock. So Oh, yeah. And if people find that interesting, go back six months in the podcast and check it out. Anyway, after after you're listening to this and you're the seventh person who talks about stuff like this and after dark. So you kind of alluded to it a little bit. There's a little bit of family history what what would that family history be?
Anonymous Female Speaker 14:57
Substance abuse, alcohol holism specifically, mental illness, anxiety, depression, those sorts of things.
Scott Benner 15:08
You Irish? I'm sorry to just say it like that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:11
No, that's a fair question. No French actually.
Scott Benner 15:15
Okay. Still that part of the world over there? Yeah, I'm trying to get backgrounds from people when they talk about their problems.
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:24
And I think that that's an interesting way to go about it as well and kind of get those stats out there.
Scott Benner 15:30
Yeah. I mean, there's just some backgrounds that seem more susceptible to autoimmune stuff and other things. But interesting. Okay, so you grew up with alcoholism in the house?
Anonymous Female Speaker 15:42
Yes. And I don't know that I realized it, like recognize it as alcoholism. It was not like, the sort of thing where I come home from school and you know, Dad's drunk again, mom's you know, drunk again, it was more of an alcohol was just always present, always around. And it always looked like everybody was having a lot of fun doing it. And that was not the case at all.
Scott Benner 16:08
Yeah. Did you fall into it yourself?
Anonymous Female Speaker 16:12
I did very early on I when I was about 12 years old, and I don't even know what came over me. But my parents always kept the liquor cabinet stocked. And I came home from school one day and just thought I'm going to see what that's all about. And so started drinking somewhat regularly. It for 1213 year old after school.
Scott Benner 16:39
I'm gonna go with anytime you do it twice in a row. That's regular if you're 12. That's yeah, I mean, by the way, I used to watch general hospital after school with my mom. But this is a much you were way ahead of me. So So, so you, wow. I don't know like, to be honest with you. I hadn't gotten up to the drinking part. Like all that. In the lesson. I was kind of looking at it when we were first talking. And when you told me that your parents said you're going on vacation to the hospital, I thought they must have been high when they said that. But do you remember a bottle of vodka and a cigarette while she was saying we're going on vacation? She made she's going on vacation? Because you're going to the hospital?
Anonymous Female Speaker 17:25
No, I you know, that's kind of a common pattern in my family to this day is that people don't like to be honest and upfront about when stuff is really just not great. And we'll go above and beyond to keep it from people and shield themselves from having to, I don't know, maybe let somebody down or worry somebody were an intern. It was much worse, having no idea where I was going what was happening. In fact, getting my hopes up and excited because it was a school day that I was diagnosed. I was like hell yeah. I don't even have to go to school for the rest of the week. You know, and, and not knowing that was pretty terrible.
Scott Benner 18:12
I'm sorry, Catholic. No. Talian No, listen, you're just missing on all these
Anonymous Female Speaker 18:19
bark Irish and near miss them. Like it's yeah,
Scott Benner 18:23
I'm still on the bullseye just didn't hit the little.in the middle yet? Yeah. Okay. Don't worry. i The lady yesterday, I got so much of her life. Correct. I thought I was a soothsayer at one point. It's good for me to have to go again, to have this happen.
Anonymous Female Speaker 18:37
Alright, it's interesting to to hear what you think in, you know, just those assumptions. Because, yeah, just having never met me before. So I bring it Keep it keep it coming.
Scott Benner 18:48
That's fine. I just find there are some religious backgrounds that are very much about kind of protecting the vintage, you know, make everything look good. Doesn't matter what's happening behind the door, as long as the doors nice. And there's a brass knocker and all that stuff like we're good. Yeah. But that's also maybe human to, you know, I might be applying it to just all the Catholics I've ever met. Who knows. And so you're drinking on the regular at 12.
Anonymous Female Speaker 19:14
At least weekly? Yes. What do you drink, and I, whatever, had enough in the bottle that when I put water back, they would probably not notice. And I really don't know where that behavior was modeled for me. I certainly picked it up somewhere. And I started to also one of the more regrettable decisions I've made along the journey with diabetes is I took up a nice cigarette smoking habit at the age of 12. And really struggled to part with that all through my 20s and did not quit smoking successfully until a year ago.
Scott Benner 19:56
How did you enjoy mixing your downers with your OPERS when you were 12 Was it figure. I mean, what were you like? Were you like, Who's that guy that on Playboy magazine? This is now how I picture you in a bathrobe like the house. Yeah, I know picture you like Hugh Hefner for the scotch and a cigarette. You know, it's like four in the afternoon. You're watching Bugs Bunny. Like,
Anonymous Female Speaker 20:21
been a long day, a
Scott Benner 20:22
long day. I got this diabetes to keep up with everyone's wrecked around me. I got problems. Did y'all? I was gonna say sisters, I don't know why he gave me a vibe like you have sisters. But did your older siblings drink too?
Anonymous Female Speaker 20:36
You know, probably not like I did. But I would say they have their own issues that overlap all three of us. And so I've got an older sister and an older brother. And so brothers, the oldest by 10 years, my sister's five years older than me. So we're kind of spaced out.
Scott Benner 20:56
Was it one of those situations where if they saw you, or like smelled you, and they like you smell like a cigarette, that they were just like her? She's in the club? Or would they tell somebody? Or if they told somebody would nobody give a crap? You mean my siblings? Yeah. Like, would they rat? They think well, would your siblings rat you out? Or would they think it was good?
Anonymous Female Speaker 21:12
I said my sister did. Because we had this weird sister thing where we like, I think we could just hated each other when we were younger. We're super close now. But I think she felt like I took especially one she's the middle child, right? And then two on the sick one. And I'm getting all the attention. And she already feels like she's not getting the attention that she needs. And she truly had her own struggles. And I was the one that was getting the attention that I think she desperately wanted and needed.
Scott Benner 21:46
Okay. This is strange, but hold on a second. Remember how I told you I was holding my helping my son make cookies. He's in the grocery store asking questions about an egg purchase right now.
Anonymous Female Speaker 21:56
Oh, yeah. I'm curious now.
Scott Benner 22:02
So he, he's, he's cheap. And I've raised both of my children to be cheap. I'm very proud of this. No one will tell me. I am. Arden goes shopping. She picks up three things, but two of them back. Will like never. Yeah, will never buy everything in her hand. And right now he's like, can I buy the grocery store brand of eggs? I can get 30 of them for $11. But I mean, that's a lot of eggs.
Anonymous Female Speaker 22:32
Yes. Hold on. That is a lot of eggs. If you're gonna use all of them.
Scott Benner 22:37
Yeah, that's the question. By the way, three weeks ago, he had never washed a dish before. Now he's got the day off from work music, I'm gonna make cookies. And then he's five minutes later, he's like at the grocery store going. Like, I don't have enough facts. I'm very proud of him, actually. Because I think if this was you, you'd be high as a kite by yourself on a Friday afternoon.
Anonymous Female Speaker 23:03
I mean, yeah. This is like my impulse decisions. Like, yeah, I'm gonna make cookies instead of do what I need to be doing and all that. But this sounds like a whole different situation. He just wants to go hopefully sober. Sure he is.
Scott Benner 23:20
Neither my kids actually nobody in the house drinks. Good. But so here's the question. You said impulse just now. Like when you look back on it, were you trying to prove something? Because a 12 year old? I think I agree with you is mirroring, right. They're not like yeah, 12 You didn't say to yourself, I'm really uptight. You know, what I think would cut into this a little like Vaca, gimlet? Maybe? So like, you don't I mean, like, so you're just kind of mirroring? And then it just becomes a habit. Like, because I think, yeah, I mean, I know people get addicted to things at some point in life. But sometimes I think we just make a decision to do something. And then we do it because we think that's what we do. Does it make sense to you? Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 24:08
it does. And I think that, you know, it took on a life of its own, and it wasn't overnight where things got, you know, like really, really, really bad. I mean, some could argue that it's, it's bad when that's what a 12 year old decided to do. But I think on a level that I didn't recognize watching my my parents is that it looked like it was working for them. And I felt so horrible in my skin that it was just like anything to get out of that feeling for just a minute. I'll try it. Yeah.
Scott Benner 24:49
Okay, I take those points. I understand what you mean. Yeah. Didn't feel good in your skin. What does that mean?
Anonymous Female Speaker 24:55
Well, you know, that's already a difficult age. Either way, And there was a lot going on in my life at the time and at home and without going into too much detail about this. But my father had gotten into some legal trouble that was very public and political. And so I had that middle school diabetes, family just just kind of not falling apart. But everybody kind of goes their own separate ways and just deals with it the best that they can. My mom pretty much checked out for a few years, and I get it. And so it was Anna, I got to hanging out with the bad kids quote.
Scott Benner 25:42
Well, you probably you were probably a good friend.
Anonymous Female Speaker 25:46
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I
Scott Benner 25:48
just had to stop for a second. Like dad pulled away on the local news bed or? Yeah, really? Yeah, to tell me but definitely tell me when we're done. Okay.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:00
I will. I can send you the articles. A federal charge. Federal.
Scott Benner 26:06
Wow. I'm gonna guess racketeering. You don't have to tell me
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:11
that he there were there was a civil suit, or in alleging racketeering,
Scott Benner 26:16
yes. Yeah. It's my favorite word. It's one of those things that sounds horrible. And nobody knows what it means.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:22
Yeah, it's like tennis or something. Is that like, What?
Scott Benner 26:27
Is it like undue pressure or something like that? Or am I gonna have to look up racket theory? I'm not doing that right now. I've
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:33
let you associate it with.
Scott Benner 26:36
You broke up for a second. I'm sorry. That's fine. Can you hear me? Okay? Yeah, you get electronic. Sometimes, like, my voice comes back at me. And then it doesn't.
Anonymous Female Speaker 26:44
Gotcha. Yeah. I'm not sure why. I am the technolog technology expert. So, you know, figure this out.
Scott Benner 26:54
I can tell by the way you pronounce the word. So technology tech. Okay, great. Oh, no. Are you kidding me? Listen to where we're at so far. You're drinking and smoking as well. Your dad's been hauled away. Your mom's checked out. You've had diabetes for four years. And you're over here thinking, I don't know if I'm a good guest. I don't care if my voice echoes back three times. This a great story. So
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:20
how can people pleaser it can get me into trouble sometimes.
Scott Benner 27:24
Are you really?
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:26
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A recovering people pleaser, I would say.
Scott Benner 27:30
Interesting. So does the does the drinking go to drugs?
Anonymous Female Speaker 27:35
Oh, yeah. And, you know, just a lot of experimenting. I would say yes to just about anything, even though like, I gotta tell you, it's got like, I was so unassuming note, like, just my my family and and who I was, nobody would ever ever, ever think that I was involved in something like that I was very good at at hiding that and keeping up a persona that would not maybe otherwise match what you would think someone you know, I'm getting at like,
Scott Benner 28:09
here. I know what you're just I know what you look like. And it's a mindful that this is how you are versus Yeah, versus what you physically look like. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. You look like the third best friend on a sitcom. Yeah. Yeah, you're cute, and you're pleasant, and you are unassuming. And you look like you look like America, like you really do. It's amazing. Ya know, it's part of what's messing me up. I think if I could see you, it'd be worse. I'd be like, this isn't real, right. And it's stopping me knowing what you look like is stopping me from asking my next question. Which of course, I'm obviously going to ask right now,
Anonymous Female Speaker 28:48
you're going to ask you after the ads.
Scott Benner 28:54
Did this go to sex at a young age?
Anonymous Female Speaker 28:57
No, it really didn't. I was kind of terrified about that sort of thing. I was so I had such low self esteem. I, I it went more towards attention. I wanted attention from other guys, but not in like a sexual way.
Scott Benner 29:18
First of all, thank God, finally something went wrong. Like seriously, like I was, I was very worried that the next thing you were gonna say was then I started you know, and I just, I'm happy to hear you didn't. But so you're doing those things. You're you said your house, you put it you're experimenting, which I now in my mind, I'm thinking of you lacing your weed with something, but I'm assuming you just tried a bunch of different stuff. I did. Yeah. And no one's pulling you out of this right. Like you're kind of living on your own but in your house.
Anonymous Female Speaker 29:54
Yeah, nobody knows. I mean, my at times my parents caught off Under like something was going on with me. I'll never forget. I was probably about 14 and I had gotten home from school and I've passed out. I probably took something I don't even know what it was. I would go into my parents medicine cabinets, drink on top of it, and I was passed out and that and my dad comes to get me because dinner's ready. And he's like, What the hell is wrong with you? So he, he knew something was going on? They they both did, but I think everybody had their own stuff going on that it was just kind of like, okay, we're going to keep our eye on that. But I think they think they thought I was smoking weed, which I had tried. But it was really, a lot of this is still a young age young age, but it was a lot of drinking their booze and them not knowing it.
Scott Benner 30:48
And pills, like if that you would find around the house. Yeah, you were just taking them by mouth, right? Yes, we're not crashing anything and snorting it or anything like that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 30:58
Not yet. Yeah. Oh,
Scott Benner 31:00
do we get to that?
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:02
Yeah, yeah. After that. That doesn't come until about 16.
Scott Benner 31:05
Oh, yeah. You want to wait, spread it out? Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:09
Yeah. How much of this did not grow up too fast.
Scott Benner 31:13
Don't grow too fast. Honey, will snort the ketamine later. So how much of this has to do with the diabetes? And how much of it is just the hodgepodge that is your life?
Anonymous Female Speaker 31:27
I think that at the time, I didn't recognize how much of it was diabetes. I think that I've felt I've just wanted to feel like normal. I was wanting to fit in. I don't know if I think it just added to my depression another another layer. And, and despite that, though, I was a wonderful diabetic. I and I still think I am and I don't want to put labels on it. Good, bad, right or wrong? Because it's hard, right? But I was keeping up all appearances and very involved in like JDRF and the American diabetes Association and I mean, I just looked like I had it all going on on the outside.
Scott Benner 32:19
Wow. That's fascinating. I didn't think you're gonna say that. Like, I thought we were gonna say, I bet yeah. When you were talking about like, holding it together, I thought you're gonna say like, maybe once he was okay. Nobody really yelled at me or anything like that. But you're like, No, I was at those JDRF functions in like, a pretty dress like, and everybody was like, Hey, everyone, look over here. And she is She Great. And you're like waving while they're raising money. And then you're right. Yeah. Then you're like, let me help you clear this stuff off. I'll take these glasses to the kitchen for you.
Anonymous Female Speaker 32:55
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we, my mom and I, we she did a marathon once. Her and I raised money. She put together a team and ran for raising money for the American diabetes Association. And we did a ton of works and out like brochures and did fundraisers and stuff and we raised $50,000. I think that for diabetes research, and we're active and benefits with the JDRF. And they wouldn't cease. We're great. I was one of the first kids honestly, that they put on an insulin pump. Because when I was diagnosed, there were Ursuline palsy had it. It was rare and Eudald. And hey, you broke
Scott Benner 33:40
up there for a loss. Your generation you broke up there for a long second. I'm sorry, you were one of the first piece people they put on an insulin pump and give me the rest again.
Anonymous Female Speaker 33:49
Sure. So you know, I was one of the part of the younger, like first young generation that started to go on insulin pumps, because when I was diagnosed, even though insulin pumps were around, they were rare. And if you had one, you were an adult, and so as probably around fourth grade, so this would have been 2000 or so are no i don't know I'm not going to do fast math in my head. But I was diagnosed in second grade. by fourth grade I was on an insulin pump and worked really hard to keep my blood sugar's I had fantastic doctors that are better research hospital just really helping me and then I'm not going to go off on too much of a tangent we can get there when we get there. But diabetes camp as well was a huge impact on my life and highly recommend it for anybody that has a kid with with diabetes.
Scott Benner 34:47
What a juxtaposition you are. So there's on one hand, you're completely not concerned with your health at all. You're drinking, taking drugs and smoking cigarettes. But on the other hand, you're taking you're taking He's very good care of your blood sugar and making friendships through community. You sound like yes,
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:08
that's pretty. Pretty much.
Scott Benner 35:09
Yeah. I mean, I'm glad you giggled, because it's it's silly. It's like you, because you just assume and I don't know if this is just, you know, I don't know if this is me being ridiculous or not, but like, those two things don't seem like they go together to me.
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:23
Yeah, I've, I've always been a chameleon. And I'm really good. I can fit in with any anybody. I can talk to anybody. And so, yeah,
Scott Benner 35:35
can you see these? Because there might be a world where you point them out to others and make money. Like, it's between how you look physically. And it's just, it's all doesn't none of it. None of it jives, like nothing jives with anything. And that's how you got away with it. Are your parents similar?
Anonymous Female Speaker 35:54
Yeah, in their own way. Yeah, I would say so. We are all really good at putting up really, really pretty picture.
Scott Benner 36:06
Smart people.
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:08
Yes, I would say
Scott Benner 36:11
do you think do you consider yourself like, I mean, do you drink any more?
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:16
I do occasionally. I'm, and we can dive into that too, if you if you want to. But I've worked with a therapist doing harm reduction and recovery. For me. It has not looked like flat out sobriety. But it has been an I know this might be a little controversial, whatever, but harm reduction. And that has worked well for me. It really has.
Scott Benner 36:43
Are you what they call California sober?
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:45
I've never heard of that. I think I would just smoke weed.
Scott Benner 36:48
I think it means weed and drinking but nothing else.
Anonymous Female Speaker 36:51
I call that the marijuana maintenance plan. But But no, I don't I it just has never done anything good for me. You don't like weed? I don't. Yeah. thing I don't like it makes me very paranoid.
Scott Benner 37:10
What what do you what did you like?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:13
Cocaine? Opioids at a certain point? And but my best friend is ecstasy. And any but always.
Scott Benner 37:30
Now, are you broke up again?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:31
Oh, it just has to do with being able to get your that's fine. What was the last thing you heard you
Scott Benner 37:37
broke up again. I heard ecstasy. And then you were okay.
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:42
That's about it. They were my favorite.
Scott Benner 37:44
Were you just saying you liked whatever you could get your hands on?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:48
Yeah, for the most part,
Scott Benner 37:50
how long did that go? From? What ages? And how the hell did you pay for it?
Anonymous Female Speaker 37:54
So I don't know if this is common with other people or whatnot. But so I've actually I attended private school from sixth grade to until graduation. And there were you know, we were all the squeaky clean, clean kids so to speak, but there's a lot of drugs and there's people that have money to get them. And were doing starting to do cocaine at 16 at you know, like a bonfire field party. It was I don't know how normal that experience is for other people. But that was that was my experience. And you know, it's also combined with the with a small town, but it went on through once I got to college, and that was mostly just the the drinking and partying but started to experiment with more like with harder drugs or psychedelics stuff that would probably have scared me when I was younger. I don't know it was my 20s were kind of a spiral a little bit at times.
Scott Benner 39:08
Yeah, I mean that. That checks out because you said I tried harder drugs after you said ecstasy cocaine. And you're like then I ramped it up a little bit. You know, Scott really got it moving. Acid.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:25
Yes.
Scott Benner 39:25
Okay. Heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:30
Yes, accidentally, once
Scott Benner 39:33
you know how it is when you do heroin by mistake.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:36
I was 16 Actually, yeah, yeah. And I
Scott Benner 39:39
drank a regular Coke when I didn't mean so. Same thing.
Anonymous Female Speaker 39:43
Yeah. To hate that. Yeah. Yeah, I was told it was opium and black tar heroin. I don't know why that's right. You know, and you know, it's what's funny about that story and You know, I'd use, you know, not funny funny, but it was my best me and my best friend at the time, who was also a type one diabetic, right? If you're seeing a trend here we were, she was living with me that summer at with my family. And we would go and hang out, you know, have dark parties with some other friends that were living there. And there was a guy there and it was like, it's opium. And I'm like, Okay, well, I guess that's fine. It smells good. And we both smoked it. And we're, yeah, it was after that, that we were told that it was actually black tar heroin. And yes.
Scott Benner 40:45
I thought I was doing I it's not my fault, Scott. I was trying to do opium. You can't blame me for doing heroin. It's a classic mistake. You know, how you hear people say, tomato tomahto. Like, you know, yeah, six, a one half a dozen? Oh, yeah. You know, yeah, opium heroin, whatever. But no, I mean, it put it, I laughed, because I'm not at eat. Well, let's be fair. It was. Yeah, it was. But um, but I'm laughing. I'm laughing at you being in a scenario where you could mistakenly do heroin. Because to me, to me to a person who doesn't like that's, like, that's a very avoidable thing is what I was thinking. Like, I've never mistakenly done heroin. You understand? It couldn't almost happen. Like I'm trying, I don't think it could happen. And so you're in your you're living but here, listen. Let's Let's back up for a second for all the moms that are listening right now and are getting ready to run their head through a wall thinking their little diabetic kids are going to do opium one day. I know. Don't worry, don't wait, hold on. Because first of all, Fair's fair, I think you get to at least cocaine without the diabetes. Yes, yes. That's you we're not set up for success is what I'm saying. Somehow you're an attorney. I can't wait to figure out how that happened. But, um, but anyway, like, the idea that, you know, I know. I don't imagine that this wouldn't happen to some degree. I just think I think of your I hate to say this, like your your life sounds like a bonfire to be. And then things just kept getting thrown on it. Like, yeah, you could have been born to two people who weren't drunk all the time. Right? And then they don't model that behavior. And you don't get those. You know, maybe some of that genetic, like predisposition. And then you go in a completely different direction, right. But then once you start doing it, like, like, if my kids were doing if my kids were drinking, when they were 12, I'm fairly certain I would have been aware of it. And then I have no doubt, yeah. And then I would have done something about it. Had that happened. And so, but you were in a position where they were like, I wish I know, we're not using your name, because it's sometimes it's unnatural not to use someone's name, but you're in a position where like, your father came in, found you passed out and was like, Look, I don't I don't want the chicken Hamburger Helper over here. But we're having to get cold. So let's just get her out here, sober up and keep moving. You know, like that would stop most people's lives. And so once you don't see any pushback, then you're just running forward. And now you're around a bunch of I mean, is it fair to say wealthy white kids?
Anonymous Female Speaker 43:47
Yes. You can't me. Yeah.
Scott Benner 43:52
I'm just saying, you got you got what they call white people problems when you start talking about, you know, it's not my fault. There was just so much cocaine at the bonfire party. You know, so you're around enough money to sub to hold up this lifestyle, and then I don't want to cast aspersions, but there are, I'm gonna cast them pretty hard. So hold on a second. I didn't even make it. I can take it. Well, it wasn't even about you. By the way. It was about the culture overall. Obviously, it's not everybody. Okay. But there is a culture where people make too much money for their own good. Their kids are rolling around and BMWs when they're 16. They've got cash in their pockets, and nobody's paying attention to them.
Anonymous Female Speaker 44:41
Sounds like you're UW when I turn 16.
Scott Benner 44:44
See, remember you said keep guessing Scott. I'll get you don't worry. Yeah. So and the reason I bring that up is just because I've seen it sometimes too. Like my son once said, You know, can I go to the shore house with these guys? And I was like, no, like, no, like, their parents weren't going to be there. And these kids had unlimited access to cash. And I was like, they definitely can't do that, you know. But I was stunned by the number of people who were allowed to do that. I'm stunned by people who say things like, oh, it's cool. If they drink here, they're going to do it somewhere. That's not true. Actually, there's a way to keep your kids from drinking. It's not that hard, actually, you control their life. You know, you don't want to make a hard decision that makes your kid mad at you, I get that. But don't tell me there's not a way to like manage a 14 year old into not doing cocaine, you can swing that. Yeah, that's not a heavy loaded parent.
Anonymous Female Speaker 45:51
It's not. And I think it's worth mentioning, too, that there's plenty of the of the kids that I grew up with that had an enormous amount of resources to sort of fund a lifestyle that would allow for them to be participating in this act, these activities that we've several have died, you know, that's where that goes, is overdose that several are struggling to this day and can't get out of that addiction. And it's, you know, it could have been avoided. Well, it's not, that's what's really sad.
Scott Benner 46:29
It's a gluttonous mindset, right? And without checks and balances, because you're a child, yeah. And you have nothing, there's no speed bumps. So you're just like, I'm going to do a thing, and then it happens, right? That's it, I'm gonna do a thing. And then it happens. I'll do it again. I can afford it, I can do it, we can drive to it, you know, like that, that sort of thing. And you feel autonomous, because you have the things you have a car, you know, you have access to money. And then there's no you can't govern yourself. Honestly, it's not that much different than social media.
Anonymous Female Speaker 47:02
Like if you, yeah, thought about it that way. But yeah, you drop
Scott Benner 47:05
tick tock on an eight year old, then they're going to be doing Lizzo dances in no time and not paying attention to their homework. Like, it's not that hard to figure out really. And so. And people aren't going to like to hear that. Because a lot of people are involved in a parenting is difficult. It's really hard, it takes a lot of your time up. It takes up a lot of your resources, and it is going to encompass a portion of your life, large enough that you will look back and think there are things I didn't do because I decided to be a parent. But yeah, you can still have a baby and be like, ag give her a car. She looks like she'll make it. You know? Do your parents do you speak to your parents?
Anonymous Female Speaker 47:47
I adore my parents, we are incredibly close. And we you know, the picture that I've painted so far, to be fair is not where we are, at this point, everybody has sought help. And yeah, as a family unit, we've just, I think having been in a dryer, things were pretty shitty. Everybody checked out. And you know, the 12 year olds running around, like, what she walks in. It's night and day. At this point,
Scott Benner 48:22
no, I listen, it's also very kind of you to come tell a story like this that you easily could have buried and kept behind you. So it is really nice. And I don't know, like it's, it's hard not to hear it and just think well try it a little bit, get an A mean, like, and but at the same time, I could, I could take the other side of this argument and tell you that your parents probably have significant issues of their own. And it got away from them. And they couldn't handle themselves, let alone another person. And they probably gave you a car because they wanted you to be safe. And they probably gave you money because they didn't want you to get stranded somewhere. I'm sure there was a lot of good intentions behind what they did.
Anonymous Female Speaker 49:00
Of course, and you know, honestly, what it was and what I've come to recognize it being as I'm become an adult, is they felt a lot of guilt for me that I had to live with type one diabetes, and so they thought that material things would make it better. But here we are.
Scott Benner 49:18
And just leaving you alone would be some sort of a gift not to not to like Lord over you. Right, yeah, right. You need a little lording over when your job. You know, somebody's gotta Yeah, everyone saw someone's got to point to you and go, Hey, listen to this stuff in the cabinet. It's not for you. I'm gonna tell you a terrible story right now. here but you judge my you can judge my dad. Okay. My son texted me this morning, as I think we said on the recording, he's lived alone for like two weeks. And he sent a text that said like, Hey, I got up this morning and realized I left a burner on my stove overnight. And it's like an electric stove and it was on like halfway and mean it didn't end up being any kind of an issue. Sure, but but he shared it with us because he was like, I can't believe I did that, you know, and like, like, I everyone knows what that feels like the first time you walk into your kitchen, you're like, oh my god that burners been on for three hours. And you just you feel that like that like, rush of like, I'm so glad we're all okay. You don't I mean, like, it's a little thing. But everybody gets that feeling, right. So I said to him, I said, Well, this is good, no harm, and you'll never do it again. You know, it'll stick in your head now. And then we started kind of like joking back and forth a little bit. Because I am a person who I always warn people about the oven being warm. Like, so. Don't laugh at me. Oh, this is a nice story. And so it's a really nice, it's a nice story, right? Till it's a hard so just hang in with me for a second. I want to throw in with you here on the honesty thing today. Okay, so like, I take a pot off the stove, and I move over to the sink. If there's anyone around me, even though they're seeing me walk away from the stove, I will gesture at the at the thing and I'll say, hey, that's hot. Or if I take something off and leave food in it, and when they come up to serve themselves with a head that that's hot, like I'm very much about I don't it just it's in me, right like a rule. Like I would never walk into work in a house like people who don't lock their doors. I don't understand how that happens. Because I don't cross a threshold without locking a door. And I don't know why. Okay, so But back to the the the oven thing. Do you know why I'm so cognizant of the the oven being dangerous?
Anonymous Female Speaker 51:34
I've got to imagine you've had some sort of interaction with an oven before that. Did not go well. But that would be a guess.
Scott Benner 51:41
I grabbed something. My father stopped me. And then to teach me it was hot. He held my hand over the fire.
Anonymous Female Speaker 51:49
Oh, my gosh, well
Scott Benner 51:50
see how terrible that is? Yeah. And I don't care. Well, who knows why? Seriously, I'm dead. Quiet. Why not? Why am I not 12 years old, crushing up barbiturates and putting them in whiskey. Like seriously? Like, I don't know why it happens to some people, not the others. seems wrong. I should at least have had a little bit of a problem. Don't you think?
Anonymous Female Speaker 52:13
I know you missed out.
Scott Benner 52:17
I want to be clear. Hey, it was a lot of fun. It's a childhood memory. I don't think he barbecued the skin off my hand or anything. I don't I did have a second degree burn. But he scared the living daylights out of me. While he had a hold of my wrist and he was moving me towards the flame. I propolis. And here's probably what really happened. I probably got anywhere near the heat, and he probably pulled it right away. But I'll tell you what, say what you will. I'm all about love and safety. Oh, by the way, please. I am not telling anyone to do that or that. I think that's a good idea. I was just I just wanted to outline that, you know, nobody's parents are perfect. And, and it's bizarre. It's bizarre to see that something can happen to one person and then happen to another and their lives go in completely different directions. It's like it really is. It's interesting. So Alright, so let's not glamorize your hellacious life, but you're saying yeah, through your 20s through your 20s acid, other things like that, like you were going pretty hard, like through college. Right?
Anonymous Female Speaker 53:28
Yeah. And you know, I think I did have two years of sobriety, I was a member of, of AAA, very active one. And I think that, that time is what truly saved my life. Like, even though I'm not still a part of that program, pumping the brakes, and getting a sponsor a woman who could sit me down and be like, Look, you've made a mess of your life, and we need to do something about that. Like, I am forever grateful. And it was a consequence of getting a DWI, when I was 21. And which is driving while impaired is what we call it in the state that I live in, so like a doobie. But that that truly is what it finally finally pumped the brakes.
Scott Benner 54:23
And that that legal issue moved you towards taking care of yourself. It did.
Anonymous Female Speaker 54:28
And you know, what's funny is that I was so upset about how my parents were going to react and I was just thinking like, they're gonna be so mad at me. And the way that they found found out is that my driver's license it still had my home address because I was in often college at my home, address back home. And so legal stuff sort of getting sent, you know, how lawyers, those lawyers, they'll start sending you like stuff in the mail too. And My dad comes up to where I was living to talk to me. And he was driven there by my mom, which was weird. Like, that was not a normal thing. And he's like, yeah, by the way, I just got a DWI as well. So we both that DWI is at the same time.
Scott Benner 55:18
So just a little commiseration, then. And, and by any chance, did you get a buy one get one free with the attorney?
Anonymous Female Speaker 55:26
No, that's a no sure did.
Scott Benner 55:30
So even in Yeah, is that interesting? So are your I don't even know how to put this. Like, that's an interesting decision by your parents. Like, like, I don't even think I would tell you that. You don't I mean, like I wouldn't want to normal. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 55:47
Yeah. I think it was more, you know, I'd never really thought about that being weird decision for them to make. I think that they thought that I would probably figure it out. Because if I typed in my last name into the court calendars to see when my court dates were and stuff, my dad's name would pop up. And so I think they just figured out figured it out. Anyway.
Scott Benner 56:07
So interesting. Oh, my God. Alright, so yeah, you're you get moving in the right direction. You go to grad school, I guess gonna go to law school, right.
Anonymous Female Speaker 56:16
So I take some time off between undergrad and law school, which I'm grateful for worked. Just kind of a, I did fast food. I did. Worked in, like a grocery store, local grocery store chain, I did all sorts of stuff to sort of figure it out. And I'm glad I did, because I finally got to experience what the real was like, and kind of get some experience under me that I needed. And has been so helpful. As I've gotten older, and in my professional life.
Scott Benner 56:56
Yeah. Well, I mean, so you got grounded, basically. Yeah. You found a way you found a way to like, live the way people are supposed to live with some responsibility. And not everything just falls in our lap. And yeah, expectations. Yeah, limits. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 57:16
And I always worked. Like, throughout high school and college I was, I was always really, really good. I was a great student, top of the class. And so I always worked really, really hard academically, but maybe other things. I was sheltered from looking back. Were you doing that's
Scott Benner 57:38
Yeah, you were doing the things that you were supposed like, like to continue on, on the we're doing well, like gravy train, like, get good grades, learn how to do something where you can make money. So you can buy yourself your own BMW one day like that kind of. Yeah. Yeah, there was expectation set. But no, like no real world perspective. Yes. Interesting. Wow. Okay, so what kind of law do you practice?
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:08
I do family and criminal law.
Scott Benner 58:11
Do you ever bump into people where you're like, Oh, I did this one.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:16
Yeah, honestly. And I bumped into people that I grew up with.
Scott Benner 58:23
Oh, wow. Did they look at you like you made it out?
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:27
I don't I don't know. I think that they, I truly don't know.
Scott Benner 58:33
Has anyone ever looked across the courtroom at you and went, Hey, I did heroin with that girl one time Don't listen to her.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:40
Well, we thought it was opium. I would love
Scott Benner 58:43
I just want that. So that that's how you would answer like, Your Honor. Listen, in fairness, we thought that was opium.
Anonymous Female Speaker 58:50
And we were 16. You know, it's not that big of a deal. We're dumb. No, no, not at all. I, I think that I don't want to speak for them too much. But I think what I've encountered with them is that they feel a sense of shame. And I hate that for them. A couple of people I
Scott Benner 59:11
grew up with, got into cocaine when we were in high school. And I kind of just distanced myself from them, as I saw that happening. And one of them lived a pretty a fairly tortured life through their 20s and 30s. And, and, you know, into their 40s and then pulled themselves together and became an attorney and then made a family and had a baby and then had a heart attack and died at a very young age. And the heart attack is generally speaking attributed to the the, the beating that they gave their body from the drugs. And it somehow was and this isn't right. It should have been this story should be that whole way, but it's sometimes it's somehow it was sad or because he had pulled it together. Right? You know, like it just it struck me harder that way, which isn't fair to people, because people who have not yet pulled it together, they could write, like, just he got lucky and met a person who helped them. And, and everybody could have that, you know, like you you've had your exactly your DWI. And that helped you. And so yeah, did you turn were you able to like, my one question I forgot to ask you back then is that when you decided to make a change? You didn't know anybody to go to? So Right. So if it wasn't for the I'm assuming the court orders the AAA and then you meet a reasonable person in AAA? Is that how it happens?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:43
Yes, they ordered a and intensive outpatient treatment,
Scott Benner 1:00:49
because you're not surrounded by any reasonable people prior to that.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:55
Event, even if I was that their voices were not as loud as all the others. So
Scott Benner 1:01:02
I'd be scared and hold on. Yeah, yeah. And the legal troubles scared you or, or the parents knowing that you were doing that stuff. What scared you more?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:01:18
I think, realizing just how out of hand it had gotten, I think it had normalized to me, because I had been doing it from such a young age that that never occurred to me that the decisions I was making were destructive, not only to myself, but now we've got innocent people on the road. And here I come. I carried a lot of guilt about that. And I never wanted to put other people in that position. Again, I think I finally it was just the shaman always been there. But it was bad. And when they put me in the drunk tank, and I didn't really have anybody to call to come get me out. It's just like, I can't keep doing this. I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm not getting anything positive out of it.
Scott Benner 1:02:18
I think if this is me, after an hour talking to you, well, that's not fair an hour, 20 minutes, 20 minutes where you couldn't make the headset work in it. But I think one of your superpowers might be that I think you genuinely are a nice person.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:02:32
Thank you. And I would like to think so. I've I do care a lot about other people. I really do. Almost too much. And I just I think too, I've always been incredibly sensitive person. And, and I've just wanted to at times when things when the going got rough. Dole that out a little bit. There's too much there's too much. But there's other ways of doing that.
Scott Benner 1:03:07
Yeah, like, go for a jog.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:11
Oh, God, no. It'd be one of those scary
Scott Benner 1:03:13
jockey people that jog at like six in the morning and five in the morning and think you see them you're like, why is that happening? And then you know, now they're just trying to stop themselves from doing heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:25
Mistakenly? Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:03:27
Well, well, I'm sorry. On purpose. Yeah, opium?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:03:30
Yeah. I think I just there, you're, you're, yeah, no, I, I've always just been a sensitive from the time I was a child until I mean, that's, that's who I am just trying to find my place in the world and getting kind of bumped around while doing it. And I did have stuff in my life. That just like we've already alluded to, lit a match and threw it on the gasoline that was already there. And it took it's taken a lot of work to undo that. But I really I don't think I would change anything. I do think the lessons and things that I've learned along the way, are what helped me to help people that I could easily see myself being in their same position and, and sort of an empathy and a compassion for people that might otherwise not be shown it by whether it be the justice system or society or what have you that there's always something more going on beneath the surface and in sort of trying to understand what went wrong in their lives and how can I help them without judgment,
Scott Benner 1:04:48
that's a that's needed in the world. And there's not enough of that. Maybe, yeah, maybe you went through your things so you could provide it for other people, you know, and it sounds what you're doing too. You know, there's I don't think there's many babies that come out and are predisposed to have problems their whole lives. You know, like you, you get there through decisions that adults make around you first. And, you know, that could be anything from, you know, that you know, nature nurture, like all that stuff, honestly. And you were able to finally like back out enough to see yourself to, which was a big, it just shows like what value there is just pausing sometimes. And just stepping back, right evaluating yourself, you know? Yeah. Did you I have a couple of questions around diabetes, people are like, Oh, good, okay. I listen to this diabetes podcast, and it's a how to on how to do heroin.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:05:52
How not to rap. By the way, if
Scott Benner 1:05:53
you're a kid, and you're listening, like if this story doesn't make you think I am not doing cocaine or heroin, I don't know you were gonna do it anyway. Because they've been this is a this is a tale of what not to do. But how would you possibly managing your blood sugar's like when you were bloated?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:06:09
Yeah. You know, I used to take a lot of pride in that in, which might be like, a little sick, I don't know. But I've just, I had a lot of really great resources, young, and starting out a lot of education surrounding diabetes. I had a fantastic team, I had a mom who was a nurse and helped me understand how everything works. And so the diabetes was never really that much of an issue. I knew how alcohol would affect my blood sugar. I knew what I needed to do to be safe. It just was fortunate enough to have such good resources that even on even when I'm, you know, wasted, I It's like, autopilot. I know what to do. Yeah. And I'm, and look, there's there were times when, you know, there was some close calls. And I don't know why that those were not wake up calls for me. But but for the most part, I had it under control, which was exhausting, honestly, to have to balance that on top of the diabetes.
Scott Benner 1:07:35
Yeah. So like low blood sugars that were dangerous, things like that. Yes. Yep. Thanks for your like later, like, Oh, I almost died. Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:07:45
my dad, actually, I was at a house party. It was a PJ party. So that's like a kind of a drink, where you pour every kind of alcohol into a cooler, sugar and loaded up and all that. And I was 16. I was in high school. And my dad had to come and carry me out at the party. I had passed out I was unconscious. I couldn't really tell you any more about what happened. But fortunately, there was another type one diabetic there who helped me and was like, No, we need to call somebody. I really, truly think that if she hadn't been there, nobody would have done anything for me.
Scott Benner 1:08:34
Yeah, they would, they would have thought you were drunk, and they just would have left up. Yeah, I heard a story like that once about a kid in college who got real loaded. Nobody around him knew he had diabetes. And his parents had to like drive hours to the school to like, collect him from the floor of the house and take them to the hospital. And they only just they couldn't get a hold of him. So they just drove to where it was. Yeah. Well, that's the horrible. Okay, so my last thing to ask you like, my last upbeat question is you somehow had an eating disorder in there as well.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:09:14
Yeah. That in self harm, just checking all the boxes. Yeah. So I think I was getting messages as a, as a girl in pressure to look some type of way. And, you know, I've never I've never been overweight, I don't know. But it's, it's difficult. It was a difficult struggle. And I put so much weight on, like, a number on a scale. And I think that that came from the diabetes, I think, I became so obsessed with what my blood sugar was, you know, and attributing that as a judgment on my value as a human being and So it would, I would say that di bulimia and anorexia were almost like, it was a natural outcome of like that obsession and stuff. But I definitely attribute it to that, if that makes any sense it
Scott Benner 1:10:20
does for you. And I mean that like, kindly, but you because those same pressures, don't send some people in that direction. That's the thing that I'm endlessly fascinated by when I'm talking to people. And I'll bring it up sometimes, like when I'm talking to Erica, about some of the like, more mental health stuff. But it's fascinating that you could put two people in the same pressure cooker and one of them comes out one way and one comes out the other way. Like your story. Yeah. Listen, there's a person out here out here somewhere who's like, oh, I had alcoholic parents too. I just like I went the other way. And, you know, I, I was great with my numbers, too. And there was a lot of pressure, but I never felt like blah, blah, blah. Like, you don't mean like, it's just it's, it's, it's somehow, like, I'm using the word fascinating. But it's, it's sad. Like, it's just like, why does it work this way for somebody and not that way for everybody? seems unfair, right? Honestly, of all the things. And what do you like? Like, I listen, I just saw a post on the Facebook group last night where a mom was looking for a facility to take a child who, who came to her and said that she was anorexic. And so what do you think parents should be looking for? And then what do you think they should do when they see it? What would have helped you?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:11:46
You know, I? I think that's a great question. And what I immediately think back on is when I was younger, in fact, when I was about 12. And back then there was no getting like your a one C back the same day that you go to the endocrinologist, what would happen is, you would get a letter in the mail, maybe two weeks later, that tells you all the good news or bad news. And I remember getting this letter where my agency had gone up a little bit, I couldn't tell you what it was, but in all capital letters, the doctor wrote, This is bad. This needs to change and, and stuff like that. And I just cried and cried because I knew how hard I had worked and that I was having a difficult time. Yeah. And from, it's stuff like that, that writes on the slate of who you are. And so I started to attribute that as my value as a person. And I think that while parents need to be honest with their kids, you know, this blood sugar is high, like, here's what you need to do we need to work on it or, you know, maybe eat this instead of that, or this affects your blood sugar's in this ways. Keep it general, like don't try to ascribe good bad, right or wrong to these numbers. Because I know myself and many other diabetics really internalize that. And it adds like this shame that is so hard to just snap out of. And I've carried that with me for a long time and got the help I need with needed with it, but not without getting some bumps and bruises along the way.
Scott Benner 1:13:53
Yeah, I would add them point out that you should handle it that way. Whether you think your kid is the one who will rise above this or not, because you very well may be wrong about who they are. Right. And even though we're not using your name, if people could see you. They still they'd be stunned at this is your story. And I know that's not exactly like, I know people like what does it matter what people look like it? It matters in this situation? Because I know what you look like, and you don't look like this happened to you? You don't like I don't I don't know how to put that into words. But you are not the one that I would have put this on. Do you know what I mean?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:14:34
Yeah, yeah, I do. And so it's always interesting. I, you know, obviously my husband knows the story, but I'm really good at like, like I said, I'm a bit of a chameleon. And it's,
Scott Benner 1:14:52
yeah, no, that's my that's my point, by the way is that if somebody's listening to this and thinking, Oh, that's not how my kids gonna handle this. Like, you might don't know, you know, you might
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:15:01
not know. And that's what I wanted to essentially say is that, especially going to diabetes camp, I mean, some of the best friends I've made. In this world, I met at diabetes camp, because one week out of my life as a 12 1314, even 16 year old, I was normal, quote, unquote, normal. If you didn't have diabetes, then you were weird. And so we have really strong bonds. And I can tell you, that not not all of them, but I can point to particular ones where I see substance abuse, like I think that can be a part of the puzzle sometimes for people and, and so just to, like, it's not automatic, and it's not everybody, but just to be aware that some of us are really, really good at hiding this. And we just don't want to let people down. We don't know how to ask for help. And, and I just want parents to know that sometimes it's okay to interfere with your, with your kids and say, Look, something's going on. What is it? And they might push back, but they need that.
Scott Benner 1:16:19
If you just lock them in the room without their phone for a couple hours, they'll break. It's not a bit it doesn't take them long. Yeah, well just don't know where Instagram is. But I'm gonna have to come clean. Now. You know, there have been plenty of people who have come on here, a handful at least and said that, you know, they've had eating disorders diet bulimia, to be specific, and they learned how to do it at diabetes camp. I'll never forget a woman telling me I, I would have never known that I could have done this with my insulin to lose weight. It was my own sort of my food to lose weight. Had I not gone to diabetes camp. And that's where people showed me how to do it. So even that's a coin. Everything's a coin flip Mallory. It is yeah. Oh, that's your episode name. This is after dark coin flip.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:17:02
Well, that's perfectly fine flip.
Scott Benner 1:17:03
That's great. I'm so happy that came up with that. Because I all my only notice l wi living with living while impaired is what I had. Going with coins, but I mean, honestly like it right? It's just that. I don't know. You know what I mean? Have you ever gone out in the heavy rain and like, put a paper cup and running water and watched it go one way and ran down to the bottom of the hill and got it and brought it back up and down. And again, cup ends up on the other side of the road? Like it's just sort of? I have? No, it's because you grew up in a time where people had digital stuff to keep them busy. But I was bored out of my mind. And we used to do stuff like that all the time. Like we'd go make little boats in the house, and then brace them in the rain and stuff. And I can remember as a kid thinking like, Why does it always go to the same place? And that's how it makes me feel talking to you. Like, I feel like if I could have grabbed you when you were 11 and ran you back up to the hill and dropped you back in again. Like you might have come out somewhere else.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:09
But there's no no way to tell, you know. Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:18:12
And I love your attitude that you're like, listen, I went through it. And here I am. Because by the way, you're a respectable person now. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:21
I mean, I would. Certainly Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:18:24
certainly. Yeah. Little cocaine once in a while. What are we talking about?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:31
I mean, like, I would never buy it, but if it's offered now.
Scott Benner 1:18:36
I'm sure you tell people you're gonna keep your job. Yeah,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:39
just Yeah. I mean, because who can tell at this point, but no, and, and, you know, I think that I, behind the scenes, you know, certainly had in the past, or was doing things that were just like, Well, okay, but always maintain appearances of, of being one way or the other and respectable. And I would argue, like, I've always been respectable, deep down, but now on someone. Now I have self respect. Like, that's what I'm getting at is that I respect myself, I have a wonderful husband, I want to have a family and I respect myself to take care of myself to be there for them as long as I can and to and to show up and, and be present. Like that's what it's all about. presence of mind and not trying to check out because at a certain point, it's you know, it can get kind of selfish and I don't want to call people with substance abuse issue selfish there. It is not what I'm saying at all, but people who love you and care about you want you to be present with them.
Scott Benner 1:19:49
Why have a couple of questions? Is your husband like, like, what's the what's the ying and the yang? Here's like the worst thing your husband ever did was like the sold candy bars, wants a middle school and kept one of the candy bars for himself. We're similar paths to yours. Like, which way did you go when you were picking?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:20:06
I think we could keep up with each other in the past. Gotcha. Yeah. But he both of us are sort of, like, come out the other side unfortunately, have because when you spend a lot of your life involved in, in that sort of scene, you not everybody makes it out alive. And that's a coin flip. Honestly, yeah. Why? Why am I still here? Why? You know, and so I never want to lose sight of that and be grateful for that.
Scott Benner 1:20:39
You do you have any fear that you'll have a baby one day, it'll come out riding or whatever bong and dabbing.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:20:48
You know, I, honestly, I don't think fear is the right word. I think, if that happens, that I am so equipped to spot it. And like, my husband, and I joke all the time, like, our kids are not getting away with. Like, they're never, they're never gonna, because we're, you know, so in tune with, with what that looks like and know the impact that it had on us as we were younger. And so honestly, most of the fear that I have about my kids, is just that. I don't know, their fear yet. But I'll let you know later.
Scott Benner 1:21:38
Will you drink in front of your children and normalize drinking?
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:21:42
That is a question that I had never asked myself. I hadn't even thought of it honestly. And it makes me wonder if you would ask my parents that question. When they were contemplating becoming parents, how they wouldn't want to change know what to say either.
Scott Benner 1:22:00
Yeah, but it might have been it might have really changed your life.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:22:04
It might have and look there, they are only doing what was done to them. Generation after generation.
Scott Benner 1:22:12
Yeah, well, listen, you go back a couple more generations. Everyone's drunk. Seriously? Yeah. Yeah, everyone's smoking cigarettes, and everyone's drinking in the 60s. Like, you know, 6070s, like right in there before that. All those poor, you know, there's people that came home from World War Two, like, there's a lot going on in there. There's the Korean wars in there, Vietnam, and they're like, there's a lot of people like medicating themselves through that 50 years. From there, you know, but I was just wondering, because it's funny, like, I mean, it probably makes it sound like I'm like, if you drink, you're bad, and your kids are gonna be addicts. And I'm like, I don't think that necessarily, but again, you really want to flip that coin, like, it might come up heads, you know, and so you got to make a decision, I will tell you, I will say something that I probably shouldn't say on here, but whatever. There are people in my close family, my children have never been in a car with them. And when my children asked why they couldn't get in the car with them, we told them it was because they drink and drive. My kids have always known that's why they're not allowed to ride in the car with those people. So I think we never we didn't demonize them about it, or like paint some horrible picture that they were bad people was just very matter of fact, they, you know, they drink a lot. And you never know when they're going to be drinking. And so I can't put you in a position where they'd be in control of you in a in a moving car. And, and that's. So I've always looked back on that decision to tell my kids that and to actually follow through because there were a couple of times where there was a lot of pressure. And yeah, and we always stuck fast to it. And I actually feel like that's part of the reason why my kids have the feeling they have about alcohol. Like I think it was it was model. Yeah.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:24:01
And I tend to remember. Yeah, in fact, I tend to remember an episode where he you spoke about I think Arden was with a friend of hers, and they had the family had gone out to dinner and the parents were intoxicated and she did not want to get in the car is Am I remembering that correctly?
Scott Benner 1:24:24
It's very possible, although I've recorded like 150 of these. So I've also forgotten things that as I've been reminded of them, I'm stunned that I can't I don't remember. So it's hard for me. I will tell you when we're done recording I'll tell you on that like flipped me out that I completely forgot that threw me off. But here's the problem. I gotta go I have another recording and a little bit. I'm so sorry. If you only could have figured out that headset sooner we could have gone a little longer.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:24:52
Okay, no worries.
Scott Benner 1:24:53
You're really delightful. You To Know You're lovely. Thank you had a great time. Yeah, I appreciate You're doing this very, very much this is this is the, you're the first person who has been like, listen, I was drinking when I was 12. I don't mean that in a funny way, like, I've laughed at you for reasons that I'm sure people will be mad at me for later. But I, I appreciate you saying that. Like, it's, it's it's not that uncommon. And somebody should say it out loud once in a while. Yeah, yeah, it's not it's just not. Yeah. I don't know, to me, it's not worth the chance. I, you know, maybe you have a good argument, like those of you who would be like if they they're gonna drink, so I'll have them drink here. Maybe that's a good argument. I don't know. I, I chose to go with nobody's drinking. And because you're 10 Yeah, I mean, or because you're 15? Or because you're whatever. And, you know, anyway, listen, let me say this, though. I don't get to do whatever you want. Let's matter. Yeah, I mean, seriously, I don't care. But it's, it's still it's the way it strikes me.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:26:01
It's I think it's not worth flipping the coin and just let kids figure it out. I don't ever want to normalize it the way that it was for me. And so I'll leave you with that.
Scott Benner 1:26:14
Plus, think of how exciting and fun it will be, like 35 years from now. How old will you be in 30 years? You'll be like 707 66? Yeah, imagine you 68 Sitting you're like 29 year old kids down and being like, hey, here's a thing, daddy, and I never told you. And then tell him about the time he smoked heroin by mistake because you thought it was opium? Or let him listen to this podcast be like, I don't know if you guys know this. But years ago used to be things called podcasts. Let me just get this out for you. So you can listen to this real quick. That's mommy. Yeah, I know. And anyway, I'll see you in an hour and a half after you listen to this. They just think of watching their face while they listen. While they're just like, like, like, like, imagine your kids taking off futuristic headsets and turning to each other and going. Hey, at least she wasn't having sex when she was 12. Like you don't I mean? Like, like it just Oh, it'd be so much fun. Yeah, meanwhile,
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:27:11
I'm still trying to get my headset to work still. 35 years from now?
Scott Benner 1:27:15
Well, exactly. You'll still have problems with technology, but your kids will be like, That's why there was no clock in the house. Get out of here. Okay. I get it now know that it'll be so much fun to come. Please do not tell them before their brains are solidified.
Anonymous Female Speaker 1:27:31
I can give you that.
Scott Benner 1:27:34
Oh, my God. Well, I appreciate I listened again. This was terrific. Thank you very much. Hold on for me for one second. Okay. Okay, thanks. Want to thank my guest today. And then I want to thank Omni pod for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, Omni pod.com forward slash use box, go take those pods for a test drive or just get started with the Omni pod five. With the Omni pod dash, you can't decide. But you kind of know what you're thinking about, right? Do you want the algorithm or don't you do want the five you want the algorithm, you don't want the dash? You're halfway there. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Get your seats to the touch by type one of touched by type but one event, get your seats to the touched by type one event at touched by type one.org. And don't forget to find them and follow us on Facebook, and Instagram. I'll see you in September, at touch by type ones big event. A diabetes diagnosis comes with a lot of new terminology. And that's why I've created the defining diabetes series. These are short episodes, where Jenny Smith and I go over all of the terms that you're going to hear living with diabetes, and some of them that you might not hear every day, from the very simple Bolus up to feed on the floor. Don't know the difference between hypo and hyper will explain it to you. These are short episodes, they are not boring. They're fun, and they're informative. It's not just us reading to you out of the dictionary, we take the time to chat about all of these different words. Maybe you don't know what a cool small respiration is, you will when you're done. Ever heard of a glycemic index and load haven't doesn't matter. You will know after you listen to the defining diabetes series. Now, how do you find it, you go to juicebox podcast.com up top to the menu and click on defining diabetes. You'll be able to listen right there in your browser. Or you'll see the full list of the episodes and be able to go into an audio app like Apple podcasts or Spotify and listen to them at your pace. Download them into your phone and listen when you can. The defining diabetes series is made up of 51 short episodes. That will fast forward your knowledge of diabetes terminology
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#984 Diabetes Myths: The Pump Will Fix It
A brand new series examining the myths surrounding diabetes.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 984 of the Juicebox Podcast.
Jenny Smith and I are back today with another diabetes myth episode today we're going to discuss the myth that a pump just fixes everything. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to hire Jenny, she works at Integrated diabetes that gums that diabetes for over 35 years she's a dietitian, a CTE, she's wonderful, you'll hear integrated diabetes.com Speaking of good deals, use my link drink ag one.com forward slash juicebox. And when you do, your first order will come with a free year supply of vitamin D, and five free travel packs of ag one, you can use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com to save 40% off of your entire order. And if you go to us med.com forward slash juicebox you'll be getting a special link just for Juicebox Podcast listeners. And you can get started with us med Alright, let's get to the show shall we?
This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one. Now touched by type one is a fantastic organization helping people with type one diabetes. And their big event is coming up on September 16. I will be speaking a number of times that day at the event as will Jenny touched by type one.org. And I believe there are still tickets available. The tickets, by the way are completely free. Touched by type one.org. Head over there now. Get some seats come out and says I mean I've lost all this wait, I need people to take selfies with I hope to see you there. Jenny, welcome back to the myth series. How are you?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:14
I am great today. How are you?
Scott Benner 2:17
I'm good. Actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring up a big topic here. How many people do you think get told that just getting an insulin pump will fix everything? Because that happens a lot, apparently. So we're going to deal with the myth today that an insulin pump fixes your diabetes.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:38
I love that word fix Yeah,
Scott Benner 2:39
fixed. It's just gonna fix everything. Right?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:43
It's like going to like you got a flat tire, and you get it fixed. Right. And technically, it's fixed. That's that's a fix. That's it's done. But you don't have to worry about it anymore, right? It's totally different. And I think, obviously people with diabetes get that the word fix is clearly not what any type of technology is going to do. But I do think that it comes again from the population of people who have not lived with diabetes, or known anybody in a close manner who has diabetes and truly understands that this is something we navigate on a 24/7 basis, there is no turn off. And just having a pump or any kind of technology doesn't fix anything.
Scott Benner 3:30
I've been on Omni pod for one month, this one says I had a bit of a Hypo. And my sister turned to me and said, I thought the pump was supposed to stop that. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 3:43
Like, oh, frustrating.
Scott Benner 3:45
I mean, these like are grouped together on my list. This is why she's still having those doesn't the pump fix that? This guy says, I was in a meeting. I'm a college professor. And with people my own age, my son's Dexcom Dexcom alarm goes off in a meeting. And I text them, you know, they say what's going on, and somebody in the room looks at them and says, I thought he had a pump. And he said they're confused because they view me as intelligent and capable. And they cannot fathom why I can't figure this out. And and he said meanwhile my son is 95% in range with a normally one se right. And that's something
Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:28
it is and I you know, from a from a broad, I guess visual of this. I don't know at what point in the future we're gonna get to the whole idea from every single person that they understand that it doesn't get fixed. Right fixing is curing, that's fixing, fixing would be even if there's no A true cure from a physiology standpoint, fixing would also be a system that you put on. You don't have to do anything more than fill it with insulin and hit go. And it does the thing like truly closed loop AI, learns what's going on, looks at patterns that would be close to fixed, that would be close to, gosh, the system really catches 99.9% of everything, and does it for me, we are not at that point. And I don't think that people with diabetes. I think they understand that. I don't think it's the broad public that brings in these comments that are so frustrating to people with diabetes. They just don't get it. And I don't know how to educate them that that's not
Scott Benner 5:53
the case. That hearing this will help them a little bit. Yeah, my son's school nurse told me that we don't have to stop a falling blood sugar when he has insulin onboard, because the pump will stop it. But she says that son's not on an algorithm. It's just the school nurses idea of what she thinks the thing is. It's fascinating, isn't it? Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:17
And there is there is a technology, bit of misinformation. Maybe the school nurse has learned about algorithms, maybe from another student that she or he interacts with, and maybe assumes now that that's the technology that's available, and that every single person who has a pump, has an algorithm driven pump. That could be where that came from.
Scott Benner 6:42
I get confused. Because if like just applying common sense to their thought the the nurses thought, like you can't get low because you have a pump on if that was true, then why doesn't everyone have a pump? Like why are there some people just walking around going all risk it like you don't? Really is how this works, then then insulin pumps would be handed out the door and nobody would get nobody would do MDI crack because fix the whole thing. Like, I'm not like, there's a lot of comments here from people saying, Look, I'm not saying it isn't easier with a pump. I'm not saying that I don't have it better than somebody had 20 years ago, like, but it doesn't fix things the way people think. And it's always the same comments. Why do you even have to do that? I thought you had a pump doesn't come take care of that, etc, and so on, like, they go on and on and on. But this person says, Look, you know, I get it. Like, it's easier, but it's not, it's not perfect. Well, I've,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:43
I've been in social situations myself, and not eons ago, like, probably in the past couple of years where I've been with friends, but also more, you know, just friends that are friends of friends, right, that I don't really know or see very often and they'll you know, bolusing for a meal, right? Or bolusing for a snack at like a cookout or something? It'd be like, Oh, we you know, you have the pump? And I thought you didn't have to consider that. Yeah, well, the pump still needs to know that I'm putting something in that's gonna affect my blood sugar, or so.
Scott Benner 8:19
I've seen a lot of people, like really have trouble with this, like that this when it's said to them. And I've also seen people be very upset at the misuse of the words artificial pancreas. And this is why they get so upset by it. Yeah. 100% why this person says I'm people are regularly shocked that my daughter's pump isn't an artificial pancreas. And she says, I do get that I didn't understand it before. My daughter had diabetes either. But it now drives me nutty. When somebody says this, I just did watch this happen with what was it there was like a new pump that came out. And people were calling it artificial pancreas and somebody got online. It's like, look, this is not an artificial pancreas. And they were very passionate about it. And now as I'm reading through this list, I realized this is where that passion came from.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:12
And if we truly went not only artificial pancreas, but also a true closed loop system would include all of the missing components, it would be more of a if you're talking about fix, it would be more of a true completely closed, mostly non interactive from the user system that does what it needs to do. It would include glucagon, it would include insulin, it would mimic a much of what we're trying to do as our own like brain is trying to think, you know, like our pancreas should be doing that would be a true closed system.
Scott Benner 9:51
Yeah, I'm gonna read this this like statement from this person because I think it indicates how it feels. You really need her on a pump is the quote, it's this belief that everything is smooth sailing and easy just because you have a pump. These people are not talking about an algorithm, and they have no clue about what they're talking about their knowledge is way off. And it's from an adult brother that they only see occasionally who has diabetes, they don't understand that diabetes is a lifelong struggle. And yes, some days are easy, but those who live in understand you can eat the same thing over and over again. And then one day you get one result, the next day, you get another result, that you have to be so flexible, that there's always preparation. And, you know, this is advice that I didn't get previously, finding the podcast, they say, which is very nice. But when they're talking to other people, she's like, No one understands any of this. And you can feel the frustration in her writing, you know, in the end sadness, like there's sadness and what she's saying. It's just, I guess, it's just like the rest of these things, right? You're not going to stop people from saying things they don't understand. But it is interesting that overwhelmingly, and so many people have the same experience with Oh, you got the thing? I thought the thing fixed is that, and I said this in another episode, I'm gonna say it again. There's so much I'm looking at so much technology on my desk. Most of it's not, without its need to be helped. Like, yeah, like, it's, I have very few plugins and forget things in my life. Yes. You know, even like some of these great like, I have a really wonderful computer that I record this podcast on. And there's stuff I have to do to weekly to keep it running correctly.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 11:39
Yes, yeah. And it doesn't turn on and say, welcome. Good morning, when you enter the room, right? Hey, good morning, Scott, how are you? You still have to push the button and sign in and turn it on and make sure that it's remained? I mean, you can have automatic updates, but even sometimes it asks, When do you want to update? You want to do it now? Do you want to do it later? Do you want to delay it? Blah, blah, blah. So that yeah, there's very little technology that's without human interaction.
Scott Benner 12:05
But for some reason, now that it has to do with a hormone and insulin and this and that. They're all like, oh, that must just work fine. This is the last one. My ex mother in law said I thought X mother in law. Wonder how that happened? I thought all you have to do is put in the carbs. And the pump does everything else.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:22
Well, that'd be so easy. Like, I think, honestly, wouldn't that be so lovely? Like you just put in the carbs. And the pump figures out the whole rest, you could be off by 20 grams, but at least as long as you put in two grams of carb, it's, I got it for you. It's all okay.
Scott Benner 12:40
I'm paying attention. Don't worry. I can figure the rest out is a pump is here, which is a phrase that I love, which I always think comes from, I always hear it more frequently from people who are older who have had diabetes for a longer time. And my imagination tells me that they didn't have a pump. And they were always promised the pump the pump, because they use it like a title. Yes. Yes. I love it. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:06
Funny. I mean, if a pump really did that, man, I'd go to Disney and get the there's a place called Beaches and Cream. And it's got this dessert that's called the kitchen sink. And it literally is it's like a miniature kitchen sink. And it's load. I don't even know how much ice cream is in it. I've only ever been there a couple of times. And I've seen people get it and I'm like, oh my god, like how can you actually have all of that food? Right? It's like a table full of 10 People should actually be eating this stream. Be like, Yeah, let's go
Scott Benner 13:43
to these like they've cured diabetes, I have to get the Florida anyway, there you go. Alright, well, I appreciate you doing this with me. Thank you very much
Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:52
course. Yes.
Scott Benner 13:54
It's funny. I didn't know that. Oh my God. Is it really big like,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:00
Oh, it is it's literally like if you imagine it's almost more like a like a bathroom pedestal sink. Yeah, visual, and it has faucets and everything on it. And they have to have I would guess 20 scoops of full fat like custom custard ice cream in this with any and all the toppings, all the whipped cream, the sprinkles. Like it just looks like the desert like if I were going back to kid mentalities. I'd be like that's what I want. And I'm not even like I can turn down ice cream pretty easily. But if I was going to indulge, that would be
Scott Benner 14:43
imagine that three minutes into it. You'd be like this is a lot. Did we fly all the way to Florida for this? I was
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:51
right. I got four bites. That was good. The kitchen sink was awesome. Fabulous.
Scott Benner 14:55
I could have got a Dairy Queen. I didn't realize.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:57
Exactly. Anyway. No, I don't even had to go to Dairy Queen you know I live in the land of of dairy here
Scott Benner 15:03
plenty of ice cream where you are plenty of ice cream yes
I want to thank Jenny for coming on the show today and remind you that she works at integrated diabetes.com. And of course, let's thank touched by type one not just for the good work they do. But for sponsoring the Juicebox Podcast you really should even if you're not coming out to the event, go check out what they're up to at touched by type one.org and find them on Facebook and Instagram. When you support the Juicebox Podcast by clicking on the advertisers links, you are helping to keep the show free and plentiful. I am certainly not asking you to buy something that you don't want. But if you're going to buy something, or use the device from one of the advertisers, getting your purchases set up through my links is incredibly helpful. So if you have the desire or the need, please consider using Juicebox Podcast links to make your purchases. If you are a loved one has been diagnosed with type one diabetes. The bold beginnings series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to begin listening. In this series Jenny Smith and I will go over the questions most often asked at the beginning of type one. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist who is also a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for 35 years. My name is Scott Benner and I am the father of a child who has type one diabetes. Our daughter Arden was diagnosed in 2006 at the age of two. I believe that at the core of diabetes management, understanding how insulin works, and how food and other variables impact your system is of the utmost importance. The bold beginning series will lead you down the path of understanding. This series is made up of 24 episodes. And it begins that episode 698 In your podcast, or audio player. I'll list those episodes at the end of this to listen, you can go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top and choose bold beginnings. Or go into any audio app like Apple podcasts, or Spotify. And then find the episodes that correspond with the series. Those lists again are at Juicebox Podcast up in the menu or if you're in the private Facebook group. In the featured tab. The private Facebook group has over 40,000 members. There are conversations happening right now and 24 hours a day that you'd be incredibly interested in. So don't wait. So don't wait. Check out the bold beginning series today and get started on your journey. Episode 698 defines the bold beginning series 702, honeymooning 706 adult diagnosis 711 and 712 go over diabetes terminologies in Episode 715 We talked about fear of insulin in 719 the 1515 rule episode 723 long acting insulin 727 target range 731 food choices 735 Pre-Bolus 739 carbs 743 stacking 747 flexibility in Episode 751 We discussed school in Episode 755 Exercise 759 guilt, fears hope and expectations. In episode 763 of the bowl beginning series. We talk about community 772 journaling 776 technology and medical supplies. Episode 780 Treating low blood glucose episode 784 dealing with insurance 788 talking to your family and episode 805 illness and ketone management. Check it out. It will change your life
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#983 Study Abroad Adventure
Lauryn was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in Tel Aviv, she also has hyperparathyroidism.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 983 of the Juicebox Podcast.
13 years ago when she was 19 years old Lauren was diagnosed with type one diabetes. She also has hyper parathyroid itis signos thyroiditis. My let her tell you while you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. If you're thinking about getting a Dexcom use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox considering an omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. And if you'd like to get a free year supply of vitamin D, and five free travel packs with your first order, go to drink ag one.com forward slash juice box I drink ag one every day. And you could too. Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes for all of your diabetes community wants and needs.
Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med. Now us med is where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from and so can you to get started. Just go to us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check and get on your way with us med. This episode is also sponsored by cozy earth. Now cozy earth.com is where you go. And the offer code you use is juice box at checkout. Why would you do this? Well, you're going to save 40% off of your entire order at cosy earth.com When you use my offer code juice box, that's sheets, towels, clothing, everything they have 40% off with the offer code juice box at checkout. All right,
Lauryn 2:25
hello Scott. My name is Lauren. I'm from Chicago. I am a type one diabetic. I was diagnosed back in 2009 kind of a fluke situation. I currently use an insulin pump. I know you didn't tell me to say any of this, but I kind of went on a roll. Good. Use an insulin pump. I'm excited to kind of talk through just my really I think it's interesting story. So here I am.
Scott Benner 2:49
I will be the arbiter of whether or not you're interesting. diagnosed in 2009 How old were you then?
Lauryn 2:57
I was 19. So it's been about 13 years. Yeah. Back in thanksgiving. Actually. I was diagnosed.
Scott Benner 3:03
Okay. All right. And you have type one. Do you have any other autoimmune issues?
Lauryn 3:07
I have hyperparathyroidism so I suppose that's a constant issue. Yes. In addition to type one diabetes,
Scott Benner 3:14
why this is the only podcast in the world where that makes you extra interesting. Superstar. So thank you so much. No, absolutely. I somebody came on one time. They're like, there's so much wrong with me. I knew I had to be on the show. Unlike other same way. Yeah. Unlike other podcasts where it's like you're on a TV show. That's exciting. I'm like you have hyperparathyroidism it's amazing. Okay, so 2009 19 years old. Were you in college?
Lauryn 3:44
Yeah, so So before I went to college, I actually studied abroad in Israel. I did like a gap year program. I didn't see that when coming probably. I studied in Israel for a year kind of taking some secular classes. It was kind of like a religious program. And I got really really sick that's kind of the abbreviated version. I thought it was food poisoning me my roommate were both really sick. And then mine didn't go away so she felt better and then over time, I was like, This doesn't seem normal that I'm still not feeling well. Yeah,
Scott Benner 4:11
I got the worst food poisoning it's never leaving. And you would literally never leave you traveled abroad in Israel. What do you Lutheran? I'm just I'm Jewish. So getting to know each other, how long were you there?
Lauryn 4:27
I was there for about six weeks. The program started in like October I got really sick in November. And then after the diagnosis, I was in the ICU for a bit of time and then I actually got to go back in February so it was a nine month program total
Scott Benner 4:39
Oh, I almost thought like oh god her thing got cut short because of this and but you didn't go you would just went back on a different trip later. So it
Lauryn 4:46
was the same trip my parents must have been like a little crazy. They let me go back on the same trip in February after I kind of recovered and spend some time at home I know. Bless them.
Scott Benner 4:57
They fly you home fiction Then ship Yeah,
Lauryn 5:00
pretty much in a nice little bow. I was I had an emergency flight home from Israel. It was like, if a lot of talk about finances like a $40,000 flight home from Israel, I flew with like not and Yahoo's paramedic. I had a nurse I had some first I know as a whole situation,
Unknown Speaker 5:18
who your parents. They did
Lauryn 5:20
not pay for they was all insurance based. Yeah. Well, I guess I don't know all of the details of that. I have a family friend who's Israeli and spoke Hebrew and helped create the flights. He's a doctor as well shout out to Dr. Al Judah.
Scott Benner 5:36
That's really amazing. How sick how sick were you?
Lauryn 5:39
I was really sick. I was at the ICU in Israel outside of Tel Aviv for almost three weeks and they thought it was appendicitis. So they wanted to remove my pancreas. But I did have some friends who also spoke Hebrew and they were like, Let's take get a second opinion.
Scott Benner 5:53
I think you meant to say pancreatitis, instead of I didn't.
Lauryn 5:56
I meant to say they thought I had appendicitis. They didn't know what was wrong with
Scott Benner 5:59
me. They thought you had appendicitis and they wanted to remove your pancreas. I'm sorry, appendix. You misspoke somewhere. And I was like, you were like, my head hurt and they tried to cut off my foot. Okay, so they thought you had pancreatitis.
Lauryn 6:15
They thought I had appendicitis and wanted to remove my appendix. Found out. Yes. Thank you for the clarity.
Scott Benner 6:23
Somebody's gonna listen to you. I know. It's like I know this. So someone stepped in and said this doctor, I'm imagining that you know, and stepped in and said, Hey, like, slugger. Oh, that doesn't seem right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What are your symptoms.
Lauryn 6:38
So the night that I got sick, I had like a lot of vomiting. Just really fatigue. I spent four hours at the hospital waiting to get just like seen by a doctor. Finally, they said there was a lot of like inflammation near my abdomen. Just like again, feeling really nauseous not being able to hold my bladder and things like that. I had one of those tubes that kind of go through the nose, couldn't tell you what that's called, where it kind of like goes into your system. I had that for about two and a half weeks. That was super fun. And then kind of just over time, they were like, oh, you know, maybe there was a different organ that we missed. And then they realized it was pancreatitis, and by then I was already on a drip of insulin. Because my blood sugar's were really crazy.
Scott Benner 7:16
Wow. That's correct. And are you type one at that point?
Lauryn 7:20
Yeah, well, so they told me that I had so I did get diagnosed with pancreatitis when I flew back to the state. So it was acute pancreatitis, the doctors figured that out. They didn't know what caused it at that time, but they were like, You know what, you're on insulin, it could go away. They did tell me within a year or so that if my pancreas healed, I actually wouldn't be diabetic. And here we are. 13 years later, still on insulin, but they figured out after about four weeks in the hospital in the states that it was caused by a parathyroid glands that was kind of like all the way down in my chest. Yeah. So kind of
Scott Benner 7:51
how crazy is that? You know, I'm online to our talking hyperthyroidism or hyperparathyroidism is when your parathyroid gland creates high amounts of parathyroid hormone in the bloodstream. These glands located behind the thyroid in the back of your neck are about the size of a grain of rice.
Lauryn 8:06
Yeah, that's and you have four of them. Yeah, yeah. Now it's crazy.
Scott Benner 8:11
So what did they do? Well, yeah, what do they do for this? Do they remove things? Do they medicate you? How do they handle it?
Lauryn 8:19
Yeah, so back in the States, I was on insulin, like for a long time. I mean, I'm still on insulin. But then about maybe six weeks after being in the hospital, they removed one of the parathyroid glands. So this really amazing surgeon with long skinny fingers, I guess, like pulled it out. But that's the story. They tell me. But it like broke, because it truly is so small. So she had to like scope it out. Yeah. And then from then, you know, a lot of the symptoms started subsiding. And I was just now like, a diabetic.
Scott Benner 8:47
Now you're young, then this question might not you might not know the answer to this question. But do they take out just one because one was defective? Or do they take out one because they just wanted you to have three?
Lauryn 8:59
Because it was defective? Yeah. So they were all on your neck. And mine was like, all the way down in my chest. They took out the one that was all the way down there. Wow.
Scott Benner 9:08
So and this is on these, these four things, these four parathyroids are on the thyroid gland itself? I think it sits right behind parathyroid glands. Okay, on the back of the thyroid. Yeah. So it sounds like a delicate surgery. Are there any other issues that you're now looking like are you concerned about in the future or does this not or is this problem not indicative of other problems?
Lauryn 9:32
Yeah, so they told me later on that something, you know, they checked, I get a check every year, you know, they check my levels of everything right now all of the other parathyroids and thyroid glands are intact. So it's just the pancreas that truly isn't functional like at all.
Scott Benner 9:46
So you don't take Synthroid or anything like that.
Lauryn 9:49
I take calcium medication, so like a calcium supplement every day, but that's about it,
Scott Benner 9:53
because you're now not making as much calcium or it's not being regulated the same.
Lauryn 9:59
I overproduced is calcium because of the hyperparathyroidism? And now I take it like once a day just to kind of even out the levels,
Scott Benner 10:07
because it's been under producing at this point. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Geez, that's insane. It's a wild story. Are there any people in your family who have gone through this? Or are there other autoimmune issues back in your in your family line? And Could everybody in the world stop calling me at the same freaking time? Podcast? Sorry.
Lauryn 10:28
Is that questions about hyperparathyroidism? Maybe
Scott Benner 10:30
this is going to be my mom, by the way, who is now going to assume that the phone didn't work and try again? And if I text her will never see the text.
Lauryn 10:42
Sorry, if you need to take a phone call. That's I don't
Scott Benner 10:46
think I do. Unless Can you imagine if my mom passes away after this and it's your fault line that I didn't answer.
Lauryn 10:51
Oh my god, I will never be asked me on a podcast again.
Scott Benner 10:54
You'll be it'll be a mush. Bad luck. Sorry. I'm sorry. That was my question.
Lauryn 11:00
You asked if anyone in my family has any other issues similar to mine, thank you. Quick answer is no. My grandmother is type two diabetic. He was diagnosed in her late 70s. She's not by any means have any other issues except for maybe you know, the grumpiness of an older woman. But there's no other type one diabetics. I had like an uncle on another side. If on the other side who had who had type one diabetes, but we're not blood
Scott Benner 11:22
related. It's just the guy you know. hyperthyroid? Hashimotos. Let's see celiac. Anything. Yeah, bipolar grandmother anything at
Lauryn 11:33
all? You'd think but no, no. Wow.
Scott Benner 11:37
makes you a real anomaly in your family.
Lauryn 11:39
It really is goofy. Yeah, I don't think I had any predisposition. And pancreatitis I've always been told kind of happens in like, maybe some older people who have some big drinking habits and things like that. So I had none of those.
Scott Benner 11:50
You hadn't done 40 years of drinking and your first couple? Not at that time. They never gave you any reason for why this happened.
Lauryn 11:58
No, the biggest thing I could uncover from all of my like Googling and stuff was that it was like a dormant defective gland that kind of just, you know, I don't know if it was like stress induced or something like that. But I still to this day, I've had doctors come in and ask me questions for textbooks. And there was a lot of like learning doctors at the hospitals who were like, you're a puzzle. And that's why I was like, That's unhelpful, but
Scott Benner 12:20
it's just it's not really anything you can pin down but do you? Have you ever wondered just the illness like the food poisoning? Do you feel like it like pushed you over an edge or something like that?
Lauryn 12:32
I truly have a vengeance against this Chinese restaurant in Israel. I'm like, I will never go back. I have really been. But I do think about it sometimes. Yeah.
Scott Benner 12:40
Well, I looked up the restaurant and it's called the parathyroid killer. So I don't know why you went in there.
Lauryn 12:46
I think it closed now because of bad press. The bad story
Scott Benner 12:49
about one girl's thyroid explodes after she has a dumpling and we can't do business. Chinese restaurant in Israel must be amazing, right? I'm sorry. It must be amazing food. No,
Lauryn 13:02
dude, it was so good. I went there like all the time, too. And to not be able to go back was a real bummer.
Scott Benner 13:07
I was gonna say you can't you can't pawn bad Chinese off on Jewish people. They weren't happening at all. Can I ask you an existential question? here for a second? As a young person, something that odd going wrong inside of your body? Do you lose a little bit of that? I don't know what to call it like that. That feeling like you're Superman when you're younger? Does it screw you up? Do you know what I mean?
Everybody who has diabetes has diabetes supplies, but not everybody gets them from us met the way we do us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash. The number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, and they always provide 90 days worth of supplies, and fast and free shipping. That's right us med carries everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, right up to your latest CGM like the FreeStyle Libre two N three and the Dexcom G six and seven. They even have Omni pod dash and Omni pod five. They have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and you can reach them at 888-721-1514 or by going to my link us med.com forward slash juicebox. When you contact them, you get your free benefits check and then if they take your insurance, you're often going and US med takes over 800 private insurers and Medicare nationwide. better service and better care is what US med wants to provide for you. You Less mad.com forward slash juicebox. Get your diabetes supplies the same way Arden does from us med links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors. When you use my links, you're supporting the show. Alright, I'm going right to it myself here cozy earth.com I'm gonna look at it with you. semi annual sale is here. It's interesting. Well, if I put in my email address, I'll get $75 back on August 21. So I don't know how long this will last but cozy earth.com Here's what I've come to expect from cozy Earth style, comfort and quality material that makes me feel like I'm wearing great stuff. Or I'm sleeping. Listen, I don't even know where to start. I got the joggers, I got the sweatshirt, I've got the sheets, I've got the towels, I've got cozy Earth all over this house all over me. Arden has the pajamas. I love it. I swear to you, I bought as much stuff as I have here that they've given me and they've given me a couple of things because they advertise on the show. But I've bought twice as much using my own offer code juice box at checkout, it saves me 40% It'll save it for you as well. I don't care if you want the viscose bamboo or the linen sheets, the stuff is quality, you can feel it, you know, when you touch it, you're you're handling something. And it's nice. You know, I mean, I know I'm not good. I'm not homeless, and I'm a guy. I don't know how to describe clothing. But I can feel quality. I can feel comfort. This stuff has that I absolutely pulled on the joggers the other day and thought this is how JC feels when he puts on sweatpants. I mean, I don't know if I'm right or not. But that's that's the vibe I get from it. Thick, but not hot. Not cold lately, and it just keeps you to perfect temperature. I don't know, I'm just telling you, it's terrific. You're gonna get 40% off, give it a shot cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout. You're gonna love it. links in the show notes of the audio player you're listening to right now and links at juicebox podcast.com. To us med cozy earth and all the sponsors, will you support the sponsors and use the offer code? You're supporting their production of the pocket?
Screw you up. You don't I mean, yeah, it's
Lauryn 17:39
a great question. And to be quite honest, I actually think I had the opposite effect. I don't know if it was just this religious program that I was a part of it was it was an orthodox program. I loved it. I myself am not Orthodox, but it was a very spiritual program. And I almost feel like it was like I was in this really great spot of being among people who are pious and holy and people would visit me all the time. And I actually, you know, I really didn't feel that I was in like a depressive state or kind of like, Why me, I think I had a really amazing support system. I got very lucky my best friends run this program, too. They'd come and bring guitars and they'd sing and they would you know, be there a long time, which is awesome. So I think if I didn't have that, for sure, I would be a little bit more like,
Scott Benner 18:19
yeah, I was wondering about if your brain goes down the road of like, well to incredibly uncommon and rare things have now happened to me, that would make you feel like you were on unsteady ground. But so it sounds like support from other people helped you from having to wonder about that.
Lauryn 18:35
Absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, I was never alone. I think part of its being 19 in a foreign country. So there's always someone kind of with you at the time. Definitely helped a lot.
Speaker 1 18:44
Okay, so now we're home after the trip, which I guess I would not diabetes related. But it'd be wrong to ask not ask you like, what was your big takeaway from your trip? What do you think it did for you? And what did you learn?
Lauryn 18:58
Absolutely. I would say in general, just becoming a stronger person. I think I'm a little bit passive a little bit soft spoken. I think it really taught me to it kind of grew up a little bit. I think I really had to kind of be more independent, I had to kind of navigate these like crazy difficult things that maybe college students don't experience their first year in college, but it really made me kind of appreciate my family more and kind of being away from them. And yeah, kind of just building strong relationships with
Scott Benner 19:25
people things people don't normally experience like rocket fire or just like being on your own. And then like how, what was your experience? Like while you were there?
Lauryn 19:32
Yeah. So I would say you know, we had a lot of autonomy, which was awesome. I definitely felt nervous sometimes a walking alone, but we were always kind of like chaperoned and supervised. But it was really amazing. I mean, just experiencing a different culture that was outside of my own and really having to navigate that not knowing the language. I still don't know Hebrew. I always kind of like showed my phone like this is what I'm looking for. Yeah, it's just the bathroom, you know,
Scott Benner 19:57
scary going into a hospital nothing. situation?
Lauryn 20:00
Yes, definitely a shout out to all the nurses, even if they don't speak English do their best to help you through everything though. They have roommates there. And maybe America does this too. I had to like share a room with like a woman similar to my age. And she had been there for like three months. And as she was like getting discharged and checked out, she left me this like poster that in Hebrew had some nice beautiful saying, and she blessed me and like, that was really cool. I had no idea we kind of grew close, I guess we shared a room for like three weeks. But that was kind of a different experience, you know, different roommate experience or
Scott Benner 20:33
speak to your parents about it afterwards, and what it was like for them to have a young child that far away and sick.
Lauryn 20:38
Yeah, definitely traumatizing my Jewish, my poor Jewish mother. Just every day awake. And the time difference was really tough. I remember calling them and this program kept Shabbat. So like, it was like a big deal that I called them. And I was like, Listen, I'm at the hospital. Don't freak out. But like, I don't know what's going on in my mom's like, What do you mean, you're in the hospital? And what do you mean, we have to come get you? And yeah, they definitely I was surprised they let me go back after, after all that.
Scott Benner 21:04
Okay. So for everyone in the middle of the country, who is now wondering, I think I know. But Shabbat Oh, yes, people what it is. So Shabbat
Lauryn 21:12
is a Jewish, weekly, I don't know if holiday is the word but observance where you don't really use your phone, you don't drive. It's really a time to be together with your family be with guests and things like that. And so on this program, we were having something called a Chaba tone where we were actually offered campus and we were at a different city. So we were kind of singing and eating and things like that. And we don't use our phone or electricity and things like that. And all of a sudden, I'm like ill, and I was like, I gotta call my parents.
Scott Benner 21:40
Alright, Lauren tests my understanding of the faith. Okay. Is it true that sometimes people will like, have a neighbor turn on something to get around the Shabbat rolls? So like, yeah. Is that right? Like you? Maybe you get a, you can't directly ask them? Right,
Lauryn 21:57
right. You gotta be sneaky about it called a shabbos goy.
Scott Benner 22:01
I know, things I shouldn't know. And I didn't want to say go out loud, because I wasn't sure if I wasn't allowed. But so you can kind of like, like, in an example, where you were in an apartment building, and you wanted to use a, I don't know, a light or something like that you can't turn it on. But you could have someone to your home and then mention how dark it is and how to reset hope they turn the light.
Lauryn 22:24
Right? Right. So it's very true. Yes, you can kind of like indirectly be like, Man, it'd be great if we, you know, you know, accidentally turn the bathroom light off. Right? You're not supposed to directly ask,
Scott Benner 22:36
and do people sometimes leave lights on so that they have them for the next day? Is that right to?
Lauryn 22:42
Absolutely, yeah, I
Scott Benner 22:43
don't know that.
Lauryn 22:44
Do you know a lot of Jewish people?
Scott Benner 22:45
Well, yes, but that's not why I'm gonna guess it's somewhere between a sitcom and Howard Stern that I know that those are my guests. Sounds right. Yeah, that there's those are my guesses about why I might because as you were talking about, I was like, I think I know more about this, which is just excited. In general, because you can imagine if I can't interact with you during this conversation, it's just really you talking. Me sitting here going? I have a pot? Yes. But I don't say much. What does that really mean? At this point, I have the ability to record you. I mean, if I'm not in the game. Alright. So tell me a little bit about being diagnosed with type one diabetes. At that point in your life. Obviously, it was a shock. But how did you know you had type one?
Lauryn 23:27
Yeah. So when I was hospitalized, they basically were like, Hey, your pancreas does not work. You have something called type one diabetes, which makes you insulin dependent. And at that time, I really didn't know anybody growing up that had diabetes. I really kind of I knew my grandma took some like oral medication. They really had to explain it to me, like a five year old. They were like, you are going to take these like needles, there's going to be medicine in there. And I wouldn't give myself shots for probably like three months. I was like, I couldn't do it. I had the doctors do it. I had my parents do it. It was like so freaky. To me. I feel like everyone has like a needle phobia, right? That's the thing.
Scott Benner 24:01
I have to tell you, I never understand when people like I'm one of those people who doesn't like needles at my Who do you think are people who do like them? Exactly. Right? Like a secret society of people are like, oh, you know what I love? It's easy for me. Yeah. But you you resisted it longer, though, that a lot of people do. Yeah.
Lauryn 24:20
I think the denial stage lasted a number of years. And then slowly I was like, alright, this stuff is not going away. This is something I'm gonna have to just like, learn to do on my own. And I actually did not get a pump until about six months ago. I'm 32. Now, I didn't get a pump until six months ago because I was so against it for so long.
Scott Benner 24:39
I'm gonna ask you why in a minute. But first, if I don't ask you this, I'll never forgive myself. When you didn't want to give yourself shots. Did you just trick your neighbors into doing it?
Lauryn 24:50
No, I did it. Yeah, that's funny. So I started using some humor to cope with it and my fiance will yell at me he's like, don't tell them used to shoot up. That's not funny, but I feel felt the need to share that joke that I would just kind of like a little bit make light of it like I would leave and go to the bathroom and do it. But it took mentally, like a long time for sure to like,
Scott Benner 25:09
okay, the idea of I've never really dug into this with anybody. So is it the pain from the needle? Is it the idea of you doing it? Could you not bring yourself to watch it go in your skin? Like what was it about it that really stopped you?
Lauryn 25:22
I have a very high pain tolerance. I don't think it was the pain. I think it was watching. Because what I think happened the first time I tried to do it, I think I like missed or it didn't like break the skin. And I was like, oh, shoot, I have to do this again. So yeah, I think it's kind of the contact of the needle in the skin. It gives me like the heebie now it's fine. But the first couple months? Yeah, I think it was like you have to make sure you're doing it kind of an angle to make sure it
Scott Benner 25:45
goes interesting. And tell your fiance by the way that I imagine everyone who has diabetes has made up. I'm gonna go shoot up. I'll be right back. I don't think no one's not made that joke. So he's worried about the wrong thing there. Okay, so it took you a few months to get through that. But then you obviously were fine, because you didn't have a pump for years and years. And then I want to know about that. I want to understand a little bit about what stops you from wanting an insulin pump?
Lauryn 26:14
Absolutely. So I will say I did try it. I had the Omni pad for about six weeks. But when I got my first job working at a hotel, I was in community college at the time, when it runs out of insulin, it makes that dog piercing sound that like literally only animals can hear. And I was like, There's no way that I'm gonna, like live with this noise all the time, like what is happening. And I didn't know how to kind of navigate that. So that was a huge factor.
Scott Benner 26:40
I wish you would have known me because I would have told you don't let it run out of insulin.
Lauryn 26:45
Great advice at the time. They're like, don't let it go low. But it happens. Yeah, a number of times. And it's piercing. And I kind of remember just like taking it off and throwing it away. And I was like I'm over this. I can't do it. Part of it too. You know, when you're in college and you're young and you want to wear clothing that's tight. And you know, the people can see it. I think there was kind of a stigma for me that I wasn't ready to be like, this is something I have and wearing overtly, you know that I have diabetes,
Scott Benner 27:10
that it sort of just became the way you did it after that. Can you imagine there would have been a time? I don't know, years later, where you wouldn't have minded something being unattached to you. But you just never thought back on it anymore. Is that what happened?
Lauryn 27:22
Definitely. Yeah, I'm just kind of stuck in my ways. I think as I got older, I'm like, I got this, you know, my agency is fine. You know, I kind of like do my own thing. But I think it really would have been more beneficial. It would have avoided a lot of lows avoided some highs being more in tune.
Scott Benner 27:37
So you said your agency was fine. So what what were your goals? Like? How did your doctor setup? You know what you were shooting for? Yeah,
Lauryn 27:43
that's a great question. So I think part of it was age. So like, when I first got diagnosed, my agency was like, 8.5, not proud of that. And then as we went on, he was kind of like, alright, we want to see go into the sevens. And then ideally, we want it to be 6.2, or five or something like that. But I will say not having a pump was really hard to regulate. So that should have been a kick in the pants for me when my agency fluctuated between sevens and 7.5, things like that. But I kind of didn't know, I think the extent when I was 21, that that was like that. I was kind of like, oh, you know, I'll work at it. I exercise I eat well, I, you know, do these things. But
Scott Benner 28:19
you know that I was just talking with someone the other day about this, and the idea of an agency, not just yours, but that moves around like that, like, you know, because the difference between a 6.2. And a seven and a half, for example, could just be a handful of fatty meals that create rises that take forever to come back down, and you're not really doing anything about it, because you're not looking. And that really could just be the difference there. But what is it about the system that teaches people with diabetes, how to help themselves, where it's not more of an imperative when that happens? Like it's more of like, I mean, what you just described is very common, like I'm doing, I'm trying like you don't I mean, like I'll we'll we'll give it a whirl again, three months from now and see what happens. We'll you know, we'll spin up that test and see where I got, instead of like, why isn't it like, Oh, my closer on fire? You're gonna be like, like, when when your blood sugar's 250 for five hours, why is it not? Like, why do people not think, Oh, I have to fix this right now. Instead, they go on? Maybe I'll get it right March. Like that's, I don't I don't know what the answer to that question is, but it's interesting. Yeah,
Lauryn 29:27
absolutely. I think to not to blame any doctors because it's not their fault. I think there was no like, urgency. There was no like, part of my education was like, this is your goal, but like, right, except there was no consequences. And I'm a behavior analyst for a living. So now I kind of know how to like change my behavior, but I think there was no one holding me accountable ever unless it was every three months. So there was no immediacy it wasn't, you know, I didn't have a pump. It didn't warn me when my blood sugar was 250. I had to check it next time I ate and if it was 310, that stinks. And then I corrected it. So part of it was Yeah, exactly. There was no one kind of constantly You're telling me hey, this is for your long term health, this would be really valuable for you.
Scott Benner 30:04
Yeah, no, I just always think about that. Like, I don't think it's apathy. I just think people don't know what they're supposed to be doing. And therefore they it all just kind of jumps from like appointment to appointment, which are usually three months apart. And then they say, one see pops up, and they go, Oh, better, worse. Same. That's it. And then just, we'll see what happens next time. And I noticed it's an odd way. And I was interviewing a type two recently. And the feeling that I got from this person, that basically the doctor looked at them, oh, well, you lost you got type two diabetes, I guess your life's not going to be as good or as long. Use this and get out of here. And you know, eat better and exercise. And that's just, it's just such a strange thing to me here. Imagine if you went to the hospital, and you said, I have a valve? It's gone bad. My heart. I need I need you to clear the valve open and then no, you know, it just yourself, say like, it's so weird. It just it's very strange to me. Okay. You just said that you're what do you do for a living?
Lauryn 31:08
I'm a behavior analyst. I do ABA therapy with kids with autism.
Scott Benner 31:12
Oh, thank God, I thought you were like judging me right now.
Lauryn 31:15
I get that a lot. They're like, Are you studying me? Like, no, no, no, not that kind of,
Scott Benner 31:20
like, I haven't been nervous making this podcast ever. But it's gonna happen in a second. Because you were like, can we use the camera? And I'm like, Sure. And I'm like, Oh, God. She's like, watching the camera. Yeah, I now believe you're looking at me thinking you're not Jewish. Seriously, but all my Jewish friends. So I'm adopted, right? So for many, many years, I had no idea about my lineage whatsoever. But every one of my Jewish friends was like, Yo, you're definitely like, came from Jewish household. And I was like, I don't know. It turns out furthest thing from the truth. I finally found out I'm like the product of so my birth mother. It was just like a, I don't want to say hillbilly because that seems wrong. But they were from a rural place. Okay. And it seems that they traveled a great distance. Have I ever said this on here, Lauren? I, I'm not sure. I'm thinking through my own recollection. There's 800 episodes. So they traveled. My birth mother, who was the oldest, I believe have nine children traveled from pretty far south to pretty far in the northeast to track down their cheating father. Oh, the plot thickens. This is what I've been told. I believe my birth mother was around 19 or 20 years old when this happen. They ended up staying in the Northeast for a while where she became pregnant. The mother, which I guess would be my grandmother was able to corral the cheating man and take him home. But they did not let them take the baby home. They didn't let her take the baby home, which would be me. So they made her give me up for adoption. And then they went back to I'm assuming the side of a hill that they live on or something like that. Now, you're looking at me now. And you're watching me speak with my mannerisms, everything and you're saying it's a good thing. They left him out here. I think that I look at myself. And I think, honestly, I'm totally going to be Ned Beatty. If if they take me back. You know what I mean? Which is their loss? Yeah, the bad reference that most people don't get, but it's not the point. Anyway, um, that's what I don't know why I told you that.
Lauryn 33:41
Thank you for sharing it. You're very welcome.
Scott Benner 33:43
Oh, and I have another thing I want to ask you. When you say that's a good question. Is that a conversation technique? Or do you believe it's a good question?
Lauryn 33:52
I genuinely think it's a good question, because it forced me to think about it. Okay. All right. So this is my first podcast. I don't know the etiquette. There's no
Scott Benner 33:59
etiquette, you're doing great. Oh, thank you. But no, I mean, I mean, there are conversation techniques that people use. And I think that's a good question is one of them. It gives people time to think. Right? And, and so it gives your brain a minute. And you don't have to begin to speak right away. So what it generally means is, oh, you've just asked me a question. Somebody hasn't asked me before. That's the idea, right?
Lauryn 34:25
Definitely. Yeah,
Scott Benner 34:26
I learned gonna make a joke. And now it seems wrong for me to even say, I was gonna say something like, I learned that when I was abandoned in
Lauryn 34:42
bringing out some triggering info, but I
Scott Benner 34:44
was too young for that. So that is not to the joke didn't work. And then I thought, oh, people often find that funny. Anyway, had I been in a group home for a number of years that I could have said, like, oh, I learned that in the group home and then that would have been funny. But anyway, that's still good. Yeah, that was quite a departure. But I know where we are so great. So you are living as an adult on MDI. You're not struggling with your agency, because nobody's telling you, you're struggling. But do you have an internal feeling you'd like it to be better?
Lauryn 35:12
For sure. Yeah. So after doing like my own research, I was like, I definitely should be at a different level where I'm at. But again, I couldn't bring myself to get the pump, even though I knew it was like the best next move. So I would do things like I'm just gonna like, check it more frequently, I'm gonna, and I actually like used to mess I don't know if I should like Mitt this on a diabetes podcast, but I used to like mess with my insulin counts, like my cart ratio kind of a little bit. And I would like reduce my Lantis a little if I like, ate like less, or like, things you're not supposed to be doing as someone without like a doctor's oversight. So
Scott Benner 35:46
it's super interesting that you said that. So I'm going to guarantee you that 89 point 17, one finds the all way up is almost 90% of the people listening to this podcast are like, Oh, she's delightful. These people are moving their insulin around all the time. And I would, I would argue that that is what you should be doing. Because you can't make an adjustment three months from now, from something that happened today. It's not going to be meaningful. And the entirety of how we have this system set up for people, I think is wrong. I think if you listen through, I know you've heard the podcast, but don't listen, listen to it. There's a series inside of the podcast called diabetes pro tip. If you listen to that, you wouldn't have said that, you would have said, Scott, you would be proud of me, because here's what I did. And because that's how I think I think that the entirety of managing type one diabetes is understanding that diabetes is about timing and amount, mostly, you have to use the right amount of insulin at the right time. And that those things are going to change based on your activity variables, and even just the glycemic value of the food that you're eating, which changes from meal to meal at times.
Lauryn 36:55
Absolutely. And everything affects it like coffee spikes, my blood sugar, where I think for some it like totally doesn't affect it at all. And I definitely outed myself for not saying I listened to the podcast, because I agree that would have been a normal thing to say, you don't
Scott Benner 37:08
have to listen to me on the podcast, by the way, so don't worry about that. That's not Yeah, yeah. No, I just think that that's good. I wish you would have gotten to it sooner. But I mean, I think that's amazing, like the, like, what do you do during an illness or your period? If you're not willing to manipulate your insulin to fit the need? Yeah, you know,
Lauryn 37:27
so I, the biggest thing is that I didn't know I could, if they had told me like, Hey, this is something you just kind of figure out as you go, I think I would have been a lot less stressed about it. I was very much like a rule follower. I like always did at the same time at the same you know, all the things and then as I got older, I didn't drink alcohol for a really long time because I didn't know how that would affect my blood sugar. And then when I actually drink alcohol, that was like a huge adjustment like knowing how to navigate the really highs and really lows. But yeah, no one really tells you that I think I was too afraid to ask those questions to like, hey, what happens if I get super drunk and I forget to take my nighttime insulin? You know, what are the repercussions?
Scott Benner 38:03
Well, that's, that's interesting. I say that. repercussions are alcohol drunk. We have an entire series of after dark stuff. You could have come on here and talked about sexual abuse. We'd one girl came on here and talked about being diagnosed during a heroin bender. You can say drunk. There's no I told you before we started I don't care what you say. Did you think I didn't mean it? No, no, I
Lauryn 38:28
just double checking. Like,
Scott Benner 38:30
there was a moment. Just imagine there was a moment I was interviewing somebody. And she spoke about escaping from her grandfather's house, I think where her family had put her to try to get her off of drugs. And she jumped out a window. And she was basically loose in the town looking for heroin. And at that point, went to DKA. Oh, and that's how she was diagnosed with diabetes. That's why I just looked up at you and you're like, it's hope it's okay. If I say drunk,
Lauryn 38:58
you're like, four times.
Scott Benner 39:00
drunk. I would prefer your story was better.
Lauryn 39:05
Well, I can tell you what happened a few days ago at my workout class. It's not the same. I had to leave early because I had our super super low in my insulin. My pump was going bananas. It was beeping it was so embarrassing.
Scott Benner 39:17
I was looking for math. And so was at one point, or I guess I don't even know. But during this progression, do you end up with a CGM ever?
Lauryn 39:29
I do have a CGM? Oh, you're saying back in the day? I did. I trialed one out for a while it almost just kind of like didn't make sense because I didn't have the pump. So I kind of put it off. And then when I went off of my parent's insurance, I was like, I can't afford this $8,000 piece of equipment. So which I could have because it would have been covered which I didn't know. So that was actually a big barrier to financially until I realized I'm like we insurance absolutely covers this stuff. Like I think I was looking for excuses not to get it. I was gonna
Scott Benner 39:59
say you're either You're a paradox somehow where you were kind of lying to yourself at point. Yeah. Right. Because you're, you've said a number of times. You're like, I can't do this, but turns out I could have. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you didn't want to
Lauryn 40:12
do it? 100% Yep. Okay. Yep.
Scott Benner 40:15
But you call yourself a rule follower. So if someone would have told you that it was imperative to have a CGM, do you think you would have just done it? Probably.
Lauryn 40:23
I think that that would I mean, and my doctor did say he's like, this is definitely the best course of action. But again, when you're 20, and you're kinda like, you know, I just didn't want it on me. And it was like a whole thing. Even now.
Scott Benner 40:35
You worked at a hotel. You said when you're younger? I did. Is that like working in a restaurant? I've never worked at a restaurant. Here's the thing I want to ask you. They say that restaurant employees do a lot of intermingling after hours. Does that happen at a hotel Lauren?
Lauryn 40:52
It does banana in the weird way that you're alluding. I did get some goofy people that would ask me to like take them on tours of Chicago and I'm like you are in Deer Park, Illinois. There's no way there's nothing here.
Scott Benner 41:04
It's not the part of Chicago you're thinking. Right.
Lauryn 41:06
Exactly. We have targets. Yeah. We have
Scott Benner 41:10
targeting. This is a red roof and not the red. So okay, so what I was imagining is not happening. And I don't know where I was going with that. No, no questions where it was headed. I think I was asking you if everybody was banging each other after hours. Oh,
Lauryn 41:29
that? I don't know. I guess it's possible. I wasn't. I wasn't right.
Scott Benner 41:34
If you were would you tell me? Probably. Now that I know I'm able to. It's amazing. Okay, great. Okay, so Okay, so CGM was brought up to you. You did try it a little bit. How long ago like did you get a like a real like, right now? They're amazing, or did you get sort of like one of the beginning ones?
Lauryn 41:52
I think I had a beginning one now I have a Dexcom. And I love my Dexcom. I like can't imagine not having it, but this was probably Whoo. I think it still was a Dexcom. But they were like, much bigger. I feel like than they are now.
Scott Benner 42:03
Yeah. So the receiver was weird and clunky. So did you have like the egg shaped one?
Lauryn 42:07
Yeah.
Scott Benner 42:08
Okay, so you so basically, you had one of the very first ones, it was good. I mean, I'm not gonna I wouldn't badmouth that it saved my ass with my daughter over and over again. But it was not as like finely tuned as they are now as far as the the data you get back. Okay, so you try to eat went backwards? When did you finally end up with one was the Dexcom first or did the pump? Go first?
Lauryn 42:30
I got the Dexcom first and then the pump. Yeah. And, and it's awesome. Because now you can Bolus from your phone, which is amazing. That also helped. So I didn't even have to take out the pump.
Scott Benner 42:39
So you're using the tandem pump now? I am yeah. using Ctrl. Like you were.
Lauryn 42:45
I am. Yeah. Also life changing. Yeah, let's,
Scott Benner 42:47
let's talk about that. So once you get them CGM, and you're really starting to see the benefit of it, what's the first thing that seeing the data makes you think it was
Lauryn 42:57
worth it? It was worth it. And I'm data driven. For my like career, I'm really into graphs and numbers. And I like love to graph my own blood sugar, which is probably weird. But it was really cool to see just the end range and having that percent of like, Hey, you were in range 90%. Today, that's really reinforcing for me to see it like stay within that range. Because I never had that before. I never knew what my number. It's a little obsessive. I don't know if other people feel this way. I'm like always checking it. But it is cool to know at any moment where you're at.
Scott Benner 43:25
So you like the positive reinforcement that you get from A to just like bare bones though, like when you put it on? Did you think oh, wow, I spike after every meal, or I'm low here. And I didn't realize it like and then because I'm assuming that your agency and your variability is better now than it was before that. So like, I'm wondering what you know, when you looked at it, what screws did it make you want
Lauryn 43:47
to turn like change in my day to day or like,
Scott Benner 43:50
yeah, well change in your management and how you used insulin or even how you ate or anything like that? Like, what did you make adjustments off of seeing the data
Lauryn 43:57
a little bit? Yeah, so I guess I take less insulin than I did before. That was kind of nice, because it's always giving that like basil amount, which I didn't know what basil was, I didn't know what Bolus meant, like, I didn't know really, I guess into a Boltzmann. But that's been really helpful. So like being able to like, kind of not that I don't eat what I want, but kind of eat more freely, because the algorithm calculates it for you. I don't know if that's kind of what you're getting at. So it's a little bit less thinking now than when the pens you have to like twist and adjust. Give yourself a correctional amount. It kind of like takes away some of that like mental math.
Scott Benner 44:27
Yeah, I'm not trying to get to anything. I'm trying to pull out what your actual story is like, I don't care what your answer is. I'm just wondering, that's all so good. Because what my imagination is that whether you're a person who understands insulin out to the nth degree, or you're you or you're someone else, or you're a person who's not bolusing like there are people listening, you have the stories and I think it's valuable if you tell yours so that other people can hear theirs in your story. Because, I mean, when you say you didn't know what basil was, when you were MDI for all those years Did you like let's understand what that meant? You injected basil once a day on gathering? Did you ever put it in and think this is the insulin I'm using that holds my blood sugar stable at a certain thing has nothing to do with my food? Like, did you have that understanding of it? Or was it just like a person who told you like, Hey, this is this much at this time,
Lauryn 45:19
for a long time, it was just people saying you give the Lantis at night, and then you take the Nova log in the daytime, no one ever told me that you can stack insulin, I had no idea what that was, until 10 years after I was diagnosed too. So I do think I didn't get the same. Maybe I did get the education and I wasn't paying attention or there wasn't like enough follow up. But absolutely I, they never said like your Lantis. You know, you take it this time, and it keeps you regulated overnight. And then this is your short acting insulin, they probably said it was short acting, but I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know that that was to combat the carbohydrates you ate throughout the day, I didn't know that certain foods could spike my blood sugar, I'm making my team of doctors sound really terrible. But I think it was,
Scott Benner 45:58
I think what you're doing is giving a fairly accurate assessment of how most people are shepherded through type one diabetes, like, here's enough information for you not to hurt yourself, you're not really going to be able to help yourself too greatly, because you don't understand a lot of the moving parts, because we haven't told them to you. And because I'm guessing of the age you were, when you got it, you were sort of like I don't really want to know about this, this sucks. I want to go to Israel, I want to work in the red roof. And I want to you know, I'm gonna go to college, I'm gonna learn things, then by the time you come through it, I think that the direction you got was good enough that you were generally healthy. So you had no reason to look and go, Oh, I'm not doing this, right. Whereas you can hear any number of interviews on here, when people come in, they're diagnosed at your age, they don't give a crap, their health gets poor through college, then normally what happens is they meet another person that they care about, and then want to do better for themselves. Because I don't know why that is I have to ask a therapist, but But why you suddenly see value in yourself when somebody else sees value in you, or when you have a responsibility to another person, whichever. And then they have to reassess because there's so bad off. There's no ignoring it. But you were in a reasonable place the whole time. Right? So there was no reason for you to like, sit down and go, Hey, Google, what is Basal insulin? Or what you don't I mean, like, really? Tell me, what is this thing I'm doing? Because you were doing okay, absolutely. What makes you want to understand it better after that? What do you not? Are you just like, hey, this algorithm works? And I'm gonna give it crap. Why?
Lauryn 47:40
No, no. So actually, within the last year, part of it is actually having a partner who's in the medical field, and I think he kind of pushed me to be like, hey, yeah, right, which, like, unfortunately, it took maybe another person, but you know, kind of saying, like, hey, there's all this stuff out there, like you should really be, you know, checking it out, it would improve your life, it would kind of, so I think slowly, I was like, You're a, you know, like, I've kind of put this off long enough, I am an adult, I need to, like take care of myself. Also, just being in a job, that's kind of stressful, and like, moves out, like the day to day is always changing and kind of meeting to be a little bit like, I don't eat at the same time. So having a pump really keeps me accountable. And like maybe reminds me if I'm going low, were things like that, just like my life has evolved. In general, I've gotten more education, I have a master's degree, I really enjoy research and articles. And I'm like, Why haven't I applied this to myself? So it kind of was like a bit of awakening, but it kind of took a little bit of my partner being like, hey, this, this exists, this would make your life better, you should look into it. And then you're an
Scott Benner 48:36
anomaly on the show, in that you weren't like, in a really bad situation. Or you weren't the kind of person who either was super type A and like, I have to understand all this, or had a parent who was up your, you know, because you were diagnosed, like we're going to take care of it, and you just go to college, and we'll we'll stay on top of everything. You're lucky. I don't think I don't know that you know that or not, though, guys. A lot of people with diabetes, like your path is lucky. I think that's my assessment, whether you're not really asking me to assess you, but like that, really, based on all the people I've spoken to you I think you've got B and the reason why I say that is because I've also spoken to a lot of people who are much older, who can talk about their life, like you're talking about a little in retrospect right now. Not a lot, right. But I've spoken to people in their 60s in their 50s in their 70s sometimes who've had diabetes their whole life. And when they look back, and they're still healthy now, they have no idea why. And we pick through their stories. And sometimes their stories are just they got lucky along the way. I think you're one of the lucky people.
Lauryn 49:48
That's really nice. I've never been told that about my diabetes. Appreciate it.
Scott Benner 49:52
I am absolutely going to have to get I'm gonna have to keep this going for a really long time. Back on when you're like 54 I
Lauryn 50:02
check it in 10 years. Yeah, thanks.
Scott Benner 50:03
How old are you now? Would you just 3332 32? Hold on a second. I'm 51 years 32 You don't I can't make a podcast and I'm in my 70s just be an old man clear in his throat the whole time. Like you. I'm so dry, my teeth are sticking to my teeth. You could people do it all the time. How many people are speaking to speak to their older parents? And before they talk about mom take a drink before we start the throne. Anyway, I know that might be weird. That's, I mean, let me ask you. Is that strange to hear? It is?
Lauryn 50:45
I've never been told that. I do think as you were kind of talking, I'm like, did I just like cruise through the last 10 years of diabetes? And was that all like, cruises? Maybe? Like a?
Scott Benner 50:55
No, no, I didn't want to say that. But yeah, maybe I did.
Lauryn 50:59
Like I never thought about it that way. It kind of just like was what it was, you know, like,
Scott Benner 51:03
you're like the character at the end of the action movie who's not dirty? And everybody's like, why are they still alive? I was gonna die in the first
Lauryn 51:16
I will say the first like, three years were really rough of just adjustments. And then I think I just kind of like accepted it. I think I was just like, there's no other option. This is just part of my day to day. And again, I feel very lucky. I have an incredible support system. My dad's big into like mindfulness, and like, you know, whatever. And I think that rubbed off on me because I practice that stuff. And I tried to practice just self care and giving myself a break when I've tough days. My pump is beeping right now, by the way, I don't know if you can use the
Scott Benner 51:46
only podcast the world where nobody cares. just wrote down but I think is the title of this episode, which I think you're too young to get. But oh, no, I might call it Last Action Hero. It's an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. parody movie. Anyway, that's, that's where I'm at right now.
Lauryn 52:05
I'm just a big paradox. Either that or
Scott Benner 52:07
I'm calling it something about Shabbat goibibo or something? I'm not sure those are my those are my ideas right now. But no, and I don't mean this. And you're obviously taking it the right way. I'm not being I don't mean an insulting way. I don't mean like, Oh, you were just a big dummy. You got lucky. Like, I'm not saying that. I'm saying you were doing what you were told to do. But it actually worked for you. You know what I mean? Whereas a lot of people get told what to do. And they stick to a very strict regimen. And it doesn't work for them. Maybe for reasons of as it might be as easy as their activity level or the kinds of food they like, maybe your meal choices just fit well enough with that, that you had nice outcomes. Maybe you were a person who exercised consistently. And so you know, you had some highs, but they were maybe brought down by who knows. This is fascinating.
Lauryn 52:56
Well, I will say so hot take but I like eat the same foods all the time. I probably learned that from like my grandmother who's type two diabetic that just like everyday ate oatmeal and a sandwich and whatever. So that really did work. For me, I think it was really hard for me to stray like I didn't drink alcohol, like I said, like, for a number of years because I didn't know what the outcome would be. So I'm very rule governed in the sense that like, what works for me, I kind of stick with, but I still had highs and lows. Like my agency still was kind of goofy up until like two years ago. Now it's in the sixes, which is great. But shout out to that.
Scott Benner 53:29
Thank you to all the people who made up all the algorithms because honestly amazing Dexcom like somebody said to me one time Dexcom is expensive. I was like, Listen, you know, this is the wrong place for this. But you know, people make businesses to make money, I don't care what they're making nobody, you don't have a cell phone, if the guy who came up with it first wasn't like I really want to make a bunch of money. And I think this is how I can do it. And then, and then once they come up with a product that really is great. You want them to innovate it and you want them to make it better, faster, smaller, whatever, whatever the hope is for it. And I don't know what people think but that takes money. It takes people it takes smart people and educated people those people want to get paid. And you know like so. I mean listen, I wish everything was cheaper for everybody and I genuinely mean that but I am also I want these companies to exist and I want them to thrive because you're we could go back in time and find a 19 year old you and slap a present day Dexcom G six in this control IQ on you. You probably have a six a one C for the last every year you've been alive, you know so my biggest regret. Really? Is it really
Lauryn 54:41
a little bit I traveling maybe not being biggest. Yeah, it's up there.
Scott Benner 54:45
No, I want to know what your biggest regret is. Oh,
Lauryn 54:49
bangs your bag. Yeah, I have a big forehead. They look silly. Anyway, Oh,
Scott Benner 55:00
my gosh. Well, if bangs are your biggest regret, and you're being honest, and I think you're doing okay. Okay, so you're, obviously this boy is gonna marry you. It sounds like you're gonna one week. Whoa, you're getting married in a week, next next weekend. She's 17 In Chicago, and Chicago for you. Isn't that nice? Congratulations. So what I was going to ask is, do you think you make little babies one day or is that not on your radar?
Lauryn 55:30
I hope so. That's the plan. Yeah. Hopefully they won't be you know, full of health conditions. But if they do, that's okay.
Scott Benner 55:39
They won't be full. Does the fiance have any autoimmune on his side of the family?
Lauryn 55:45
His mother has, I believe? Hashimotos. Okay.
Scott Benner 55:49
Well, yeah, you're gonna explode probably that. But that's the only thing that I know. One day you'll be holding up a little kid going down. Michael Jackson had this too. For reference, I know. Right. Well said for the logo. I need a better reference for that. Famous people with vitiligo so I can go on Hold on a second. Let's figure that out. I'm gonna edit that one. Well, no, I'm not gonna edit out. I'll just say it again. There'll be funnier that way. All right. Hold on. Famous people have been a Lago. Winnie Harlow. Okay, there's not a ton of people that don't know hold. Well, okay. So all I Googled was famous people with vitiligo. And now I'm scrolling through a number of people. I don't know. Like, you're waiting for someone to like, just jump out. And you'd be like, Oh, I know who that person is. Okay, Jon Hamm. I know that oh, wait, Jaya. Jon Hamm is the actor madmen God? Yes. Who is what is he famous for? Test your level of depravity.
Lauryn 57:06
Bridesmaids, huh? No.
Scott Benner 57:11
Yeah, yeah, he's got the energy. And so I that and Shabbat Why do I know this stuff? Okay, Rashad. Rasheed Wallace was a basketball player. People might know him. And then Winnie Harlow is a model who I feel like I recognize Google. But I gotta just tell you,
Lauryn 57:30
Oh, yes, yes. Yes. She's beautiful.
Scott Benner 57:33
You scroll this list. Michael Jackson is the only one that jumps out to you. Because I know that is. So that's Graham Norton. I guess if we were British, I would have known that. Also. He I don't know how that's possible. Anyway, this is not the point. Yes, it was a bad reference. But as we've proved, it was really the only one available to me. It was yeah, that was Yeah. How many emails do you think I'll get now with people who are famous within a Lago? I'm gonna go over understand. That's okay. I'll take those emails, those likes. By the way, you don't know this. But last night, I got in bed, and I got this, like, crappy text message. Right. So I just added a phone to my account. And I'm going to use it just for the podcast and work and stuff like that. So right now, I'm getting a lot of like, spammy texts. And some of them are very funny. They're popping up. While you and I are talking.
Lauryn 58:31
Are they diabetes related?
Scott Benner 58:34
Oh, no, these are not from anybody. I haven't given anyone this number yet. This is like the thing happens, like when they recycle someone's number, and you start like so. Anyway, I've gotten one recently. And the sender was, it's a group text, and the group is called, also. So this is obviously not somebody I actually know. But I just want to give people context that these are I'm in someone's group text right now. That's wild, who I don't know, I can't even read some of these
but I'm trying to talk to you. I'm talking to you and all my screen pops up. All said I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. You would really like some of the podcasts so do and I don't want you to feel like I don't actually listen. No, I mean, like the more management stuff, I think there's some stuff in there you would enjoy like you said like you brought up stalking insulin. And you said it sort of like it's the sum this thing like a rule like you can't give yourself insulin in certain like what do you think of what do you think of stacking insulin so like
Lauryn 59:39
taking my insulin for my meal and then also like a correctional about so basically when you give like too much at different times, they can't like work at the same time.
Scott Benner 59:49
Hmm there's an Episode Episode Four four you can correct is the is the defining diabetes has a whole series of terms that get defined. So they're shorter episodes where It is a Is it me? Me and Jenny? It's not I was gonna say I, oh my god, me and Jenny.
Lauryn 1:00:08
You're gonna make a Taylor reference Taylor's reference Taylor Swift record. What's
Scott Benner 1:00:11
Taylor Swift reference would I have made? If I said that you were
Lauryn 1:00:13
like, hi, it's me on the podcast. It's me.
Scott Benner 1:00:18
Right? That's a look into your problems, not mine. And so, so. So there's a defining diabetes episode called stalking insulin. Where I explain along with Jenny, that stalking is a real thing. You can't just like willy nilly, give yourself insulin at 1111 1011 1511 30, because eventually, it's going to all catch up to you and crush you in unless you need the insulin, then it's not stalking, that's Bolus thing. And that's a nuance that it gets lost on people. Because I think generally speaking, doctors don't want you obviously, to end up with too much insulin on board and get low. I don't want you to do that either. But what that leads to sometimes, is people like in a grazing situation, like in a party or on Thanksgiving, who eat 15 carbs and Bolus for it. And then 20 minutes later, they have 20 more carbs, but they think, Oh, I can't Bolus for this because that would be stacking. But that's not stacking. That's Bolus thing. And there's a difference. And you should, if you understood that, it would really go a long way towards them not only not getting high, but that crashing low later, a lows come from highs, you know what I mean? Like when you get really high, you eventually end up using a bunch of insulin, and then that food is digested out of your system, but the insulin remains behind a roof, you know, like your then you fall through the floor. So using the insulin mindfully, and where it's needed is what's important. Anyway,
Lauryn 1:01:43
yeah, no, absolutely.
Scott Benner 1:01:44
What I had on that I set out. Well, good reminder, I'm telling you for you. There are algorithm episodes, there's one called control IQ ninja, you should totally check out. I have
Lauryn 1:01:56
listened to that one. But it's a good refresher.
Scott Benner 1:02:00
And even just the pro tips in general, basically just talk to people about how to use insulin. So and I think that helps. Whether you're excuse me, I think that helps whether you're on MDI, a manual pump. Isn't that funny? Now that there's an algorithm pump, regular pumps need a name? Yeah, the manual is not right. But it is. But it's original, og pumping, whether you're OG pumping, or your or your algorithm pumping, still understanding how the insole works is important. That's actually one of my, I wouldn't call it like a huge concern. But I do. I do think that there's a possibility that somewhere in the future, like we talked about earlier, someone's going to get diagnosed slap on a CGM, an algorithm, and never learned about diabetes at all. And maybe that's not going to matter. But I don't know, maybe it should, I think it should matter. It matters to me, I think people should understand how their insulin works, I will
Lauryn 1:02:54
say to something that I thought was an underused service that I didn't get until I was older to was a nutritionist, which seems really simple. But I've been seeing one now every year just to kind of maintain and ask questions. My diabetes educator is also there. And she's actually the one that recommended juice box, by the way, the diabetes educator, she's lovely to her. But she basically was like, it all works together. So if you don't know what a carb is, or how much sugar is in something, or how it affects you, like, all of that is in conjunction with what you're already doing with insulin, and carb counting and things like that. But that was something that I was like, Well, now that I know, like, all these things, I'm like, Why didn't I see a nutritionist? You know, many, many years ago, just in like looking back, that would have been really valuable to
Scott Benner 1:03:37
the simplest thing that no one would tell you. For reasons that pass understanding is that 15 carbs of a baked potato and 15 carbs of white rice and 15 carbs of something else all impact your blood sugar. Definitely, yeah. 100% But they all they tell you is count your carbs and put in your insulin. And then you're like, I don't understand why my blood sugar is high. Like or, like silly things. Like the one that pops into my head most recently, is that a, the riper a banana gets, the harder it hits your blood sugar, because it has technically has more sugar as it's ripening, right? But yeah, no one tells you that, you know, and then it's just and then you go along, eating, you know, bananas, blah, blah, blah for so long. And then all of a sudden, you're gone. I don't want to eat this one. But I will and then boom, I don't understand what happened. diabetes is so unpredictable, you know, and you start saying things like that, where? Turns out it was very predictable. You ate an incredibly ripe banana. That's why you different high sugar. Yeah, that's super interesting. So okay, so you're not concerned about about having children. It's not your head. How do you share your diabetes with your fiance? I'm interested in this because you've had it for a very long time. Is it something that he's involved in? Is it something he's not involved in? Is it something he understands, but doesn't touch like? How does that work?
Lauryn 1:05:00
Yeah, definitely. So he's a dentist. So he's definitely learned a little bit about that. He's got patients that have high blood sugar issues and things like that and understands diabetes in general. So I think it was really helpful to have someone with like, kind of a background a little bit in it. So I talk about it constantly. Like he definitely is like, Oh, I know that coffee spikes your blood sugar, so I don't feel that I've like kept anything. I used to keep my agency from him when it was kind of high, actually. So that is something I was like, a little ashamed about, like, I'm not telling you what it is this time. But normally, I'm very open
Scott Benner 1:05:31
out of embarrassment or because you thought it didn't make like a good good wife. Like, I can't let this guy I'm trying to I'm trying to get some of this sweet Dennis money here. So
Lauryn 1:05:44
yeah, we first started dating, I couldn't use the shoot up joke for like six months. I'm like, I gotta like, make sure he's in it for the long run, you know?
Scott Benner 1:05:53
Something so he, so let me like put you in a scenario. You get the flu shot, by the way, hope you did not get the flu. But you get the flu, and you're really wrecked. He can help you with your insulin. Could he make decisions autonomously? Or? No?
Lauryn 1:06:06
I think so. Yeah, definitely. I mean, we've been together long enough to I think he kind of like knows how everything operates. He's he came with me to or he like understands like the control IQ had to like put, when I first got the pump, I could not figure out how to get the insulin into the like, what is it even called? I had to like read the instructions for a full like three days. And I'm like, okay, so you flick out the bubbles. And he like helped me with that. He like understood how that works. But again, like I had only done it maybe twice at the at the, you know, doctor's office, and I was like, I get really nervous. Tandem customer service, by the way is 15 out of 10. They are incredible. They were on the phone with me. Yeah, for so long talking through step. So my point being is that he's watched me do it now a number of times that he can help with that and understand them. So
Scott Benner 1:06:55
I just changed the title of your episode, when you didn't know what a cartridge was. I'm now calling it I'm now calling it lucky Lauren.
Lauryn 1:07:05
Like you just live in ignorance.
Scott Benner 1:07:08
What's this thing I'm holding? What is this? It's a pen. You've been using them since you were four. Oh, it's wonderful. Every time I want to write something down, it's there. And it works. It's really It's terrific who made this thing. I love the way I imagined you're not a stressed out person. I you know, I really try not to be ya know, like you have anxiety
Lauryn 1:07:32
100% in a Jewish household my whole life. But I do think that the anxiety has also been really like motivating because I like I'm afraid to like do something wrong. So I think diabetes has actually helped me manage my anxiety, which I don't know if that's weird to say, but
Scott Benner 1:07:47
Well, it is fair to say because no one's ever said it before. But I appreciate what you're getting at. Let me pick her up for a second. Do you think you have diagnosed anxiety? Or do you think that you've just lived in a you know, this is so weird now because of the of what's going on in the zeitgeist right now. And by that, I mean Kanye West losing his mind. I so badly don't want to make a lot of like Jewish jokes, which I do see is very light hearted. For instance, when you said you're marrying a dentist, I thought, well, of course you are a crochet, all right, your mom was not gonna let that not happen. And so but but um, do you mean real anxiety? Meaning like diagnosable anxiety? Or do you mean that like, energy that I don't know how to quantify, but every one of like, I have a very good friend. He's a cliche, is the best way I can say it. Like he's vibrating and worried about everything. And we can have these great conversations where we complain about the whole world. I love complaining learn in a way that is hard to put into words. I just I don't I'm not really upset. I just love to complain. It's like one of my favorite pastimes. I can't even do it around my wife anymore. Because she hates it. But I get together with my buddy. We can complain about anything. Like like anything, and it's like a sport. But he is I've never met a person more worried about everything in my entire life. And I don't know if that's literally genetic. Like, if it's just if it's passed down, if it's learned, I don't know what it is, like, I don't know where it emanates from, like, I've heard Jewish friends say, whose parents were kind of like, grew up around the Holocaust, right? Like not they weren't, weren't directly involved, but maybe they were the children of somebody. And that they say like there's a sadness and a worry and this feeling that something bad is going to happen that they live with. And and that maybe that's where that kind of comes from. And I don't disbelieve that i They say that the potato famine had like a major impact on on Irish people and that's why you see a lot of depression. I don't know if that's true or not, but I've heard it bantered about. And so anyway, that's what I'm on. Make like, do you think you're, like clinically anxious? Or do you think you've just lived around a lot of anxiety? For sure.
Lauryn 1:10:06
So to answer your question about like generational trauma, I think that's totally a real thing. I think I grew up in a household where both my parents or my dad's parents were Holocaust survivors, and he was always anxious about, you know, where his news would come from. So he over bought groceries when I was a child. So as a kid, for sure, I bet that I went undiagnosed with anxiety, I worried about everything, the weather, things I couldn't control about, you know, what I was gonna wear the night, you know, certain things that maybe are trivial now. But now, as an adult, I don't think I have like a clinical diagnosis. I think I've just learned to manage certain expectations or learn to like sit with some feelings, just practicing some of that stuff. But for sure, as a kid, I think it came from having parents that were just nervous about everything. So that made me nervous about everything.
Scott Benner 1:10:52
I can't say that I've seen it enough that it's definitely real. And the generational trauma thing is amazing. I once had an argument with someone. It was around the time of Katrina, which is a really long time ago. He says, I don't understand why those why why they didn't just leave, like how did that hurricane hit them? And I said, Can you imagine being in a situation that for the love of transportation, or the tiniest bit of money, you can't escape a hurricane. I said, that's not something that just happens. That happens to you over generations. Right? Right. Like, and it's not a thing that you don't, you're not born and decided I'm gonna grow up one day, and not have enough money to run away from actual destruction. That that is the thing that happens to you, it is not a thing you decide to do. And you and people can hear that and go, Oh, you could work hard and pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and all that, that's all well and good. But you can't pull yourself up from your bootstraps, when your boots are 50 feet down in the hole, and you can't and that's where you're starting. Right? And so I made that point to him. And I do think of this in a similar way. Like, is it funny to, you know, watch Seinfeld and go, oh, there's crazy Jews, like, like, like, you know, like, look how nervous he is like it okay. It's funny when I talked to my friend, and do I sometimes say to him, like, Man, are you okay? Like, like, this is not a real problem. Like, don't worry about this. And he and he'll say, I know, but I can't help it. You know, and it's just I don't know, like, that's not a that's not a decision you make. That's a thing that happens to you. I think. I mean, I think there are things you can get yourself out of in life. And I think there are some things that you're you're stuck with, for the lack of a better word sometimes. So anyway, anyway, I appreciate your opinion about it. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So is there anything that we haven't talked about that you wanted to anything I've left out? Or we haven't gotten to? I don't think
Lauryn 1:12:47
so I feel like I definitely explored aspects of diabetes that I don't think day to day. So I appreciate like your questions. And just being you know, open to hearing my side, I know that a lot of it is kind of all over the place. So I've never really told that story fully before. So I appreciate just being given a platform
Scott Benner 1:13:02
to do so nice. My pleasure. I'm thrilled that you reached out and wanted to do it. Like I said, just the parathyroid type of thing. You buddy, what is the cost?
Lauryn 1:13:11
hyperparathyroidism?
Scott Benner 1:13:13
I'm sorry, I had it up in front of me earlier. And then I took it down to look at something completely ridiculous. That I never, that I never even brought up. Well, I appreciate this very much. I really do. It's a lot of time you took out and it's a real honest story you told I hope you feel good about it. Because like, at no point was I saying like, Wow, you got lucky. Like you weren't trying? Like I you know that right? Absolutely. Yeah. Just I think some pieces fell into place for you. That made your path clear. Maybe, you know, do you and now that you've heard me say that, do you have any feelings about hearing it said?
Lauryn 1:13:49
Yeah, definitely. I will say I don't think the initial process was easy. I think it was really tough. Like getting diagnosed. That part was awful. Like just being in the hospital for a period of time. But I think yeah, afterward, I think I was kind of just like, alright, this is kind of what it is. It's not going anywhere. So I might as well kind of learn to like sit with it and live with it and navigate the best I can and I think that part did take a lot. I'm acting like it was nothing like it definitely was a process.
Scott Benner 1:14:15
No, I don't mean easy. Like, like easy. I mean, yeah, I mean, like on a super simple level as an example. I mean that if you just because of upbringing decided to eat a pretty steady diet. And that diet ended up being one that matched well with your regimen. That's kind of lucky and you don't know it because if you grew up in a house I guess this is coming full circle now. So if this if you grew up in a house where your grandma mom said, we don't worry about we don't worry about diet and you were having a ringing for breakfast and washing it down with a glass of chocolate milk and then having kool aid for lunch along with a deep fried, you know something you would not have to say aim outcomes using the strict management that you were given from the doctor, your blood sugar's would be way higher, and your agencies would have been significantly higher. And so that is the sense that I mean, luck, right? They're not like not like, diabetes didn't come for you and you're dancing through it. Like it's singing in the rain, you know, they mean, like, just yeah, just like things lined up for you that worked out better than than other things may have. Does that make sense?
Lauryn 1:15:26
Absolutely. Right. I didn't have to change too many, like big live thing. Like, yes, my parents always ate very healthy. I've always done sports and things like that. Right. So I didn't have to change too many drastic. Yeah, life style. Yes, just
Scott Benner 1:15:38
being inactive, would have been a significant detriment to you, you know, like you'd because a one sees would go up. Insulin wouldn't work as well, like insulin works better when you're hydrate, like significantly better when you're hydrated. So if you just were lucky enough to grow up in a household where people were like, Hey, make sure you have a couple glasses of water today. That actually would be a thing you wouldn't know was benefiting you that really would have been so holy.
Lauryn 1:16:06
All right. I like that outlook on it.
Scott Benner 1:16:09
Well, yeah, I mean, listen, I've heard enough unlucky people, like seriously, like, I've heard people who grew up in households that were under educated, who didn't understand nutrition at all, who are now in significant problems. And I don't give them I guess, the way to make you understand how I feel is like, I don't blame them. And I know more than I'm giving you credit for the thing that just is is how your life was, you know what I mean? Like, I could take your exact management style, and drop it on another person, and they wouldn't be in your situation anymore, because you didn't have the idea of adjusting and moving. You would have just got what you got. Right? You know, anyway, I don't know. Right?
Lauryn 1:16:55
Yeah, we played the cards were dealt the best that we can, and you're
Scott Benner 1:16:59
the one playing them. Because if you don't meet the same cards, I might do something different with them. Right? This is my phone. All right.
Lauryn 1:17:06
I support it. You support
Scott Benner 1:17:07
it. But you don't like that. You don't like the title though? Lucky learn. You don't like it? I can tell it's fine. I think we could do better. What what do you want to do? You want to figure it out to get you want to just take it out of these text messages?
Lauryn 1:17:22
Well, that's your best one.
Scott Benner 1:17:27
What if I just said, Lauren got it? poppin?
Lauryn 1:17:32
Like that wouldn't feel like it's about time.
Scott Benner 1:17:36
Oh, you you you have to dig through the episode titles a little more. None of them are about diabetes.
Lauryn 1:17:41
Well, that's what IQ ninja was. The last one you said
Scott Benner 1:17:45
was about management specifically. Yeah. There's I think there's an episode called the frozen urine of diabetes or something like that, which trust me only makes sense if you hear it, and then probably only makes sense a little bit. I can't use that word. Your title. I don't know what. What is HR? You? You mean? Ah, what? HR? Is it like a Is it like a internet? Or are you? Oh, is that what it means? I would assume so I'm looking at right now. high rated underage users workgroup? That's definitely not it. Oh, what does it be? What is it that was from from like, a government website? HR use an acronym meaning how are you? See, you're younger than me that made sense to you? And then somebody said, Good. How are you back?
Lauryn 1:18:35
Up this group chat.
Scott Benner 1:18:36
Someone's calling me Manny. Oh,
Lauryn 1:18:38
I have an idea for a title. Go ahead. What about like diabetes entered the chat? Oh, not great.
Scott Benner 1:18:45
Oh, I don't know. See? So little on the nose, but I don't mind it. We're getting closer. Alright, so here we'll do something that I usually do at the end together. I usually I say goodbye. And then I do this. I talked to myself I go. Lauren's 32 years old. She was diagnosed in 2009 at the age of 19. She went on a trip to Israel where she was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism has type one diabetes uses control IQ Index comm G six resisted a pump for many years. Didn't like needles in the beginning. We joked about calling the episode Last Action Hero lucky Lauren, or the red. The red riffin holy, why don't we just do that learn? That's great. All right. Yeah, let's just do that. Okay, we're just gonna call your episode. Is it going to be the red roof in? Oh, also is good by the way. In case you guys were wondering. Let me clarify that. I did not mean that. Am I gonna have to bleep this out. Now? No, I did not mean that. That also was good. I meant the guy or girl I guess if I'm being ferrous metals is doing well because they were asked how they were. And they said, good. And the person who's talking with them is also good. In case you guys are wondering, oh, there's a new tax. It's kind of late. So um, what's you guys names? Oh, am I gonna like a random chat?
Lauryn 1:20:16
That they might have just taken random numbers and put them together? Hmm. All right, who knew they got a celebrity in there?
Scott Benner 1:20:23
Yeah. Can you imagine right now if they knew what was happening?
Lauryn 1:20:29
I think the dynamic of the chat would change. Do you want me to tell them? Sure. Don't use my name. No.
Scott Benner 1:20:35
Names. Hold on. So okay, hold on a sec. You already you have time for this. I know. You're, like a real job. Take a half day at work today. I actually have another question for you as crazy. Wait, do you see me trans? Wait, do you see me transition from this back to my question? It's okay, hold on a second. All right. So I said, Hey, everyone, no idea how I got in this chat. But I am currently recording a very popular podcast, I will not tell you which one. But we've been reading your text into the recording as this went on. If you have anything to say to the people, this is your last chance. Now while we see if they respond. I'm going to ask my question, which again, I don't mean any disrespect to do you have any insight on autism is an interesting thing, right? Because it feels like it just showed up. Excuse me, which it didn't, obviously, but we became very aware of it, I guess is probably how it happened. So then common sense would tell you that in the past, people grew up on different I guess. I mean, Autism is a spectrum, right? Like so there are people who have grown up on that spectrum, who are now adults. So my question is, how many of us are dating married to related to a person with autism? Who doesn't know they have autism? Do you think that happens? Do you ever meet people as adults and think? Because you would know, right? Like, if you were talking to me, and I had autism, would you be able to like smell it on me? You don't even know.
Lauryn 1:22:03
I don't do like any diagnosing. i People always ask me this question I have experience working with individuals have a wide range of abilities. And I might be like, Oh, that matches something maybe I've seen with an adult with autism, but I would never be like Scott, you do this, this and this, you have this? No, I definitely. And for the people out there, I do not diagnose whatsoever.
Scott Benner 1:22:22
Okay, so I hear what you're safely you don't, technically you don't. But you've never been in a party like that guys on the spectrum.
Lauryn 1:22:30
I mean, it's definitely crossed my mind where I'm like, Okay, it's social skills maybe are a little subpar. Like, you know, again, like lack of eye contact is a big one. But colloquially, I wouldn't be like, Oh, every single person knows somewhat like it's definitely being more diagnosed. Now, just because like that label is maybe also no longer like, people aren't afraid of that to the
Scott Benner 1:22:51
yeah, that's my follow up. Question is, are we now just calling awkward adults autistic?
Lauryn 1:22:57
I don't think you still have to go through some like testing. But I definitely think that, like people are getting the label a lot more than they did before because they're matching certain behaviors that
Scott Benner 1:23:06
are associated with it. Okay. Yeah. Because if you think about it, like in reverse, if you marry this guy, okay. And, and 35 years from now find out that something's going on with him that was previously unknown to, you know, medicine or, you know, the general population. It's weird. Like, it would be weird to just look up one day and go, Oh, my God, I had no idea about that. And does it? And then my question is, does it really matter? If it didn't really impact anything? And does it just become trendy? At some point to say, I have this like, because that does happen, right? There's that? Um, what is it called, like, a social contagion? Where somewhere, suddenly, everybody just says, like, Oh, I'm that, you know, and then they start. I mean,
Lauryn 1:23:54
I hear you're saying, I do think people are just more open to it. I think there's less of a stigma now. So people aren't afraid to be like, Oh, my son has autism versus like, he has defiance disorder, like, which maybe he also does, but I think it's like one of those things that now insurance covers ABA therapy, but you need a diagnosis. So to be able to get certain services, you actually like need to have that requirement of having like, an actual, you know, diagnosis to get that stuff. So I think that's a big factor also,
Scott Benner 1:24:19
and would and maybe you're not the right person to ask, but when people who I'm here say legitimately, but I don't mean it that way, but like people who you know, legitimately are on that spectrum have autism, right? Is it insulting to them for someone to roll around and be like, I'm autistic, because I've seen adults do it. Like people are just like, I have autism. I'm like, what that What are you talking about? You don't like it? It would seem insulting to me. If I was
Lauryn 1:24:47
it's insensitive. Yeah, right. Right. Well, right, well, but again, but I wouldn't equate it to like if someone comes up to me, they're like, Oh, my blood sugar's low. I need to eat something. I wouldn't be offended by it. But I think because autism is like it. Community its people are very proud to be autistic to it's no longer something where people are like, I'm trying to fix these people like it's, you know, so I think that is that would be very insensitive to be like I have sensory issues, I have autism, you might have sensory issues. But if you weren't diagnosed, it's not fair to say you have autism.
Scott Benner 1:25:16
You're the first place I became aware of this, that that feeling through the podcast was a person who has PTSD said, I'm sick of everybody who's been through something scary telling me they have PTSD. They don't know what PTSD is, you know, like, and I think it'd be, I think it's one of those things that was colloquial, since you use the word I'll use it to. And then because and then because people started to understand PTSD better, it became insensitive to say, and I'm not usually a person who's real worried about what's insensitive. I guess that became obvious as we were talking, but I do in these these specific scenarios. I do think it's just shit to do. being perfectly honest with you. Yeah. You know, if you don't have PTSD running around saying you haven't. I mean, it's, it's almost like I it's almost like Stolen Valor. A little bit, like in
Lauryn 1:26:11
the say, like, cheapens the label kind
Scott Benner 1:26:12
of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like don't don't say you were there if you weren't there. Anyway, all right. I kept you longer than you imagined you were gonna be kept, was really great. I enjoyed talking to somebody who doesn't listen to the podcast a lot. So because you didn't always know where I was going. And I was like, this is better. Okay, this was terrific. All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say goodbye. Hold on one second for me, okay.
First, I want to thank Lauren for coming on the show and sharing her story. Absolutely fantastic conversation. I'd also like to thank cozy Earth and remind you to use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of your entire purchase at cozy earth.com. US med. That's where Arden gets her diabetes supplies. You should check them out us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888-721-1514. If you're enjoying the Juicebox Podcast, tell somebody else about it. We're always looking for new listeners. And don't forget the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes with over 40,000 members. It's absolutely free. And there's a conversation happening right now that you would love. If you have type two or pre diabetes, that type two diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox Podcast is exactly what you're looking for. Do you have a friend or a family member who is struggling to understand their type two and how to manage it? This series is for them. seven episodes to get you on track and up to speed. Episode 860 series intro 864 guilt and shame episode 869 medical team 874 fueling plan, Episode 880 diabetes technology episode 85 GLP ones metformin and insulin and an episode 889. We talk about movement. This episode is with me and Jenny Smith. Of course you know Jenny is a Certified diabetes Care and Education Specialist. She's a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for over 30 years. Too many people don't understand their type two diabetes, and this series aims to fix that. Share it with a friend or get started today.
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