Scott Benner 9/22/21 Scott Benner 9/22/21

#547 Type 1 and ADHD

Nidia's son has Type 1 diabetes and ADHD.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends Hello, and welcome to Episode 547 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, my guest is Nidia. And she is the mother of a child with Type One Diabetes, who also has ADHD. We're going to talk about that, and a lot more this conversation as I'm thinking back on it now, I think involve Japan. Moving was a lot happening. I hope you enjoy it. I've made the Edit to this episode like three weeks ago. So at this very moment, as I'm putting together 12 episodes in a row so that I can go on that even vacation going away for the weekend to go to a wedding. I'm just trying to get ahead. Everything's running together on the a little bit. I apologize for that. But nidia was terrific that I remember I remember having a really warm and wonderful conversation with her. And I hope that while you're listening, you remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you through the generous support of touched by type one, learn more about them at touched by type one.org or on their Facebook page, or Instagram. Do you remember when PBS used to do that, like today's programming is brought to you through the generous support of our sponsors, and then they would list them off and you could buy an umbrella or something like that. I should start doing that at sounded very official. Anyway, one other thing before I get you to the show, there are a number of people who support me in the work I do through buy me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast. And there were a number of people that came in this week to buy me a cup of coffee. But I'm here to list the ones who became members. Someone who used the name someone. Sue Yoli. Sarah, Amy, Steven. Connie, Anna. Laura marinda. Melanie, another someone. Corey, Jessica. Nancy, Sue Shannon, Marilyn, Alyssa laryssa, Melissa, Leah blue, Julia, Julie, Grace, Daniel, Jennifer. And Jeanette. Thank you so much, everyone. That is just very kind of you. And I really appreciate it. Buy me a coffee.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast.

Nidia 2:49
I was like nervous. Now I get why people get nervous because you're now like a celebrity.

Scott Benner 2:56
That's silly. You realize. Yeah, for the type one diabetic community, you're like a celebrity or like, I will, psycho if this makes you feel better. I woke up this morning, late. So I'm still sitting here in a pair of sweat pants, like, excited to take a shower after you and I are finished.

Nidia 3:15
You know, I thought that was the case. I'm like, I'm sure because you're so you've done this for so many years. Yeah, yeah, he's

Unknown Speaker 3:22
probably still asleep.

Scott Benner 3:23
I'm not prepping for like, I've been up for 45 minutes. Don't get me wrong, but like I took the dogs out and fed them. And, you know, like, that's pretty much it. And now we'll do this. I the idea that there's any celebrity attached to this is is patently ridiculous. Don't worry. All right, fine. So you don't take it? No, no, I appreciate it. I really don't. But it just you don't need to be. You know, it's funny. You don't need to be nervous and yet, okay. I'm always nervous. So I don't know what to say about that. Go ahead whenever you're ready.

Nidia 3:55
My name is Nidia. And for the purposes of your podcast. I am the mother of an 11 year old type one diabetic. I I'll use his name. His name is Santiago. And we've been added for almost like three and a half years almost 40. This is like we're starting our fourth year. It'll be his fourth year in August. So he was diagnosed august of 2017.

Scott Benner 4:29
When he was like seven ish. Yeah, I think he was eight. He was he eight? Yeah, he'll be 12 this year. I like it when you can't remember the dates anymore. I know. Yeah. I had to think about it. My wife's like remember. We're talking about when Arden was diagnosed and and she looked at me She's like, you don't know the date. Right. As a guy. I have no idea. I said I don't I know it's in August.

Nidia 4:55
So you don't know the date. I know the date. August 24 the 24th is when we went to the hospital August 24,

Scott Benner 5:02
is when you went to the hospital. I wonder if Arden was the 22nd. Baby. Or if I'm remembering the 22nd because that's her birthday. There's no way she's diagnosed on the same day as her birth. You said a couple weeks after her second birthday. I think I remember that. Yes. 100%. So she's the she was born. July 22. So a few weeks later at 14 days, I don't know for you, you were very literal when I said a couple of weeks. Okay, sorry. Yeah, you're right, August sometime. Yeah. When you thought when I say a couple of weeks, what you should infer from that is I don't remember the Exactly. Okay. Okay, I like that. You're like fewest three, Scott, a couple is two and dammit. 14 days after the 22nd. It's a bit harder.

Nidia 5:49
I'm a math person. I'm actually a math teacher. So you say a couple weeks? I'm like 14 days.

Scott Benner 5:58
Gotcha. I didn't ask me. I have to be honest with you. I'm going to I'm going on my blog. Now. Let's see if I can figure it out. Go ahead. I'm scrolling. It's a very well written diagnosis story. I should write my own. Before I forget, the more details and I already have the details will leave you well. There you go. I did not put the date in. I know I launched the blog in 2007. was the year after what I have had the foresight to do it on the exact day.

Unknown Speaker 6:40
Probably

Scott Benner 6:42
probably a lot of planning, doesn't it? Okay, so Santiago's is, tell me a little bit about his diagnosis, please.

Nidia 6:53
Okay, so let me take you way back. So we're a military family.

And we were stationed in Okinawa, Japan, from 2013, no, 14, sorry. 2017. Yes, that's three years. And that was really tough for me, because we had been on the west coast in California for 17 years, you know, like I had never moved, I didn't want to move. And I, I hated the idea of being overseas because I was away from my family even more. I'm originally from El Paso, Texas. And so, you know, we were in San Diego. So that's not too far. It's a 12 hour drive. And I just hated that idea. But Well, too bad military, you go or he goes alone, and I wasn't gonna let that happen. Not with three kids by you know, I had, we had three kids at that time. So we left were there. And the last year was school year 2016 through 2017. My mom gets sick. And so I mean, she's always had health problems and stuff. And, but this time, it was a different you know, she lost weight. She couldn't eat, she was in pain. She cry on the phone with me all the time. And you know, I was I was away in Okinawa, she was in Texas, and I, that's what I feared the most, you know, from going to Okinawa, something would happen and it did the last year. And so she got sick, she got diagnosed, I flew over because she was gonna have a procedure done in like, late November. So we get to, well, I get I, by that time, I had had my fourth child, which is a little girl, I had three boys. And I finally had a little girl. So I took her with me and I left my three boys behind. And I was supposed to only be there for the operation. We were thinking it was just a tumor. But you know, we find out it's cancer stage four. And so, gosh, I always get emotional. Sorry.

Scott Benner 9:24
No, it's fine. I didn't know this was gonna happen. Like, as you started talking, I was like, what's about to happen here?

Nidia 9:32
So what I always do, you know, and I, and I, I like to cry it out because it just it's always on the back of my mind. It's always it's something that you know, it's like the grief that you always carry that just kind of pops up. Yeah, and it's okay. I'm okay with that. I'm okay crying. And I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable, but I'm okay. crying. Oh,

Scott Benner 9:57
don't worry. I'll be crying by the time we're done. So let me just do one thing you took your daughter because she was little. Yeah. Where the boys sort of old enough this they were their father was at the idea.

Nidia 10:10
Yeah, kind of my youngest was three I think at that time. Let me see. Yeah, he was three because he was born in 2013. So he was three. But he went to daycare, because I, I was online teaching and stuff. And, and I would always take him to daycare because I didn't have time to him and a little, my little girl, I would always take them to daycare because I didn't have time to do online school. And it's not like I'm teaching, but I'm grading papers, and I'm replying to emails, and I couldn't do it with them being at home. So they always went to daycare. So that was set up nicely for my husband, for him to take care of that three year old because it was an all day daycare. So I took my little girl with me and it was only supposed to be two weeks. So find out you know, she has cancer and she went through her operation. She was in the rehab, and she begged me, you know, just come back and, and I said, Okay, I'm staying. And so, and my mother in law was also like, yeah, you should stay. And I said, Okay, well, I'm staying indefinitely. So I ended up staying from November all the way to April. Yeah, so that was it was so tough on me. I mean, me emotionally and the kids obviously, but me because I'd have these dreams of that I lose my kids. Like, I just went to the park and I left them there and I left and you know, and I was because I left my three year old because he you know, the other ones, they can find their way home, the three year old. Ah, that hurts so bad. Anyway, back to the point,

Scott Benner 11:49
packaging the three year old up and shipping them to you that I think should have a couple holes in the side of the box that kids probably going to be fine. As long as you write handled with care on the side of it. I've always had the boxes that are marked like that always show up in my house very, very well. Maybe that that would have helped you some of my pain, but you know that I really understand. You know, obviously you just felt like you abandoned your daughter. And and we know you didn't buy it. That's how it was striking you. And you're describing five months or so right that you were gone a long time. It is Yeah. And I was were you caring for your mom, or were you just there supportive? I

Nidia 12:31
was no, I was helping my dad because it's only my dad. Help. I was helping him take care of her with whatever you need. Because you know, he's a man. And I mean, God bless him. He's wonderful. And I love him. He's, he took care of her so well. But I was there to also emotionally help him go through this, you know, and help each other go through this and just, you know, taking care of my mom's needs whenever she needed to be based. Or I mean, he did it too. Don't get me wrong, but

Scott Benner 13:07
it gets so tiring. And he's probably older too. How old was your mom? Yes. She was 70 370. My gosh. And your father similar age? Yes. He's seven. He was 75. Yeah, he's two years older than okay. Yeah. So help. Help is definitely needed.

Nidia 13:23
Yeah. And and, you know, I have two other brothers, but my younger one, he's got his own family and the older one. He's a lost soul. You know, he's like, alcohol drugs. I mean, that's a whole different story. Yeah, exactly. We were not gonna ask him for help. In fact, he was more damage, you know, then help so. So I was there. And and I'm the only girl in the family and it's kind of expected. I don't know. No, I

Scott Benner 13:55
understand what you're saying. I don't understand why it happens like this. But it definitely does happen like this. Because you said something so interesting. You said, you know, my brother has his own family. But you have a family and your brother wasn't like helping going, Oh, my sister can't be here. She has a family. It's just way better. Yeah, that's true.

Nidia 14:11
Yeah. But you know, he's a teacher and he has his own job. And I get Yeah, he he couldn't be there. 24 seven and, and I was working online, and that kind of just worked out. Because I could work from anywhere. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:23
So I got caught. I don't want to I don't want to take you through the pain of your mom. And there's no reason to I just have this feeling like you're gonna tell me that while you were gone. Your son was diagnosed with type one is No.

Unknown Speaker 14:36
No, okay.

Nidia 14:37
But but that's where it all kind of began. I think that stress that was put on him without his mom for almost, you know, half a year was a big stress on him, don't you think?

Scott Benner 14:48
I think that when I look back and look at all the things, medical that I've seen pop up in people's lives that are wrapped around autoimmune somehow there is some sort of a major stressor at some Point, which sucks because it leaves people with the idea that if a major stressor never happened, this might not have ever happened to me. But you know, at some point in life, something stressful is going to happen. So,

Nidia 15:13
yeah, it'll happen. You're right at some point. And so Who would have known? But I mean, I'm not pinpointing it to that. But that was a big stressor on him. And well, let me let me take you back even further when he was born. That was in 2009. We had just moved from I mean, okay. From San Diego, California to Oceanside, California, which is like 50 miles away. And he was, you know, and he was born in Oceanside. Because my husband, you know, changed jobs. And I was pregnant. I had just left the job that I had in San Diego at you know, I had stress at that time. And when he was born, my husband's like, oh, by the way, I'm getting deployed to Afghanistan. Yeah, to Afghanistan. And so you know, that I was so stressed and the baby he was a baby, he. I remember thinking when he woke up in the middle of night crying, crying, crying, I'd be like, Oh my gosh, when can I return this baby? And then I'd be like, Oh my gosh, this is my baby. I can't return him anywhere. And I was like, overwhelmed with this, like, Oh my gosh, cuz he would cry so much.

Scott Benner 16:34
Seriously, raising a child is a hell escape. And especially when they start crying, or, you know, my son threw up a lot in the beginning, you know? Yeah, stuff like that. It's just, you're not ready for it is the truth. You know,

Nidia 16:46
he was my second child. But still Yeah, it was very overwhelming because it there's like a five year gap between my firstborn and him.

Scott Benner 16:54
Yeah, now it's just it's just a different thing. Like now if you could put me if you could take my head and drop it in a 25 year old body? I could raise a kid like, yeah. Yeah, because now I know what to ignore and what to pay attention to what's important and what's not. And I know what's scary and what isn't. Now I have all the information and none of the energy. I'd be a terrific parent. I know the energy though. But in truth, if you brought a baby here, I would die in like three weeks. You know, what? Well, you're ready to be a grandparent, baby. Please. There's some days with this autoimmune stuff. I gotta tell you, I'm just ready to get to the end. Like whatever that is, like, let's, let's fast forward. Please. Hear that's the end. I would like this to stop, please. But No, but seriously, like, sorry, no, no, no,

Nidia 17:51
we were back. Yeah. Let me go back to the story. So I remember him spitting up a lot as a baby. And sorry, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take you back even more in the last like, trimester of my pregnancy, like the last month or so I remember. Like my urine smelling very sweet. Like, like, I never had maple syrup. But I think like maple syrup. It was very sweet. And that kind of struck me. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of weird that this never happened with my first child. Anyway, I wonder if anyone else had, you know, had that in their last few months of pregnancy and has a type one child. But anyway, he sped up a lot as a baby. He wouldn't. He didn't like for us to hold him like laying down. He always wanted to be upright, like over your shoulder. I remember that. And as he grew, I remember him having like, really poor eye contact with us. He was very what is that word that they don't think about the consequences. Not a daredevil, he impulsive. Thank you. He was very impulsive. And he was like a little Daredevil. I remember the word Park core, because he would like jump around at that time. parkour was like really popular. But he was two years old. He didn't know anything about you know, popular things. There's all over the place. Yeah, he would jump off of you know, small benches and didn't think like, I'm gonna get hurt. Were my my first born who Yeah, I know. He was already five but at that age, he he knew there were consequences. He he was more laid back and he more settled down. So I noticed that difference in in. In my type one. He was very different than brother and When I tried to teach him stuff like, letters and stuff before he went into kindergarten, he would close his eyes on me. And he went open them. And I couldn't teach him anything. He went into kindergarten, knowing two letters, love letter O, and the letter X. That's all he knew. And I was so embarrassed, you know, but I, you can't teach your child. I mean, I didn't also didn't want to, to hate learning. So I just backed off.

Scott Benner 20:30
And so anytime you tried to, like, direct him with something or focus on something, he just stopped you.

Nidia 20:35
Yeah, he would just close his eyes. And didn't want to hear it. So I he went into kindergarten knowing nothing, almost i don't i don't think he didn't even know how to, like write his name. Anyway, that's that.

Scott Benner 20:50
Do you realize about ADHD at that point? Or how long was I

Nidia 20:54
didn't hear that? I? I, you know, I didn't think anything of about ADHD. I just thought I didn't I didn't think anything. I just thought what a difficult child. He's always been a difficult child. He's hard. He's hard to love. That's what I tell him. You're hard to love because of the of your behavior. And I'm so mean and strict. I mean, I guess I don't know. I'm just trying to teach him well.

Scott Benner 21:20
So he is, is ADHD, like, is it autoimmune? How do people think, how does it thought of?

Nidia 21:29
I don't think it's autoimmune. I think there's something with their brain chemistry or something like that. That it's different. It's wired differently. And I mean, he's, he is kind of weird, like, ever since he was small, you know, we're having a conversation, whatever. And he's like, Oh, my gosh, look at that bug. And it's like, on the wall, something you would ignore completely. And he will focus on the tiniest, insignificant things. And, oh, video games, he could be there all day.

Wonder why, you know, you can focus on that.

Scott Benner 22:07
Yeah. That that's no problem. School still. Is school still on the shoe? As he's older? No, because he's on medication. Ah, okay. I have to be honest, some studies indicate that both children and adults can develop ADHD infections and an autoimmune response can cause encephalitis brain formation, which may result in behavioral changes? Or I don't know if that's very, maybe that's a very specific thing. I'm not certain. But

Nidia 22:33
let me let me take you back again, to the diagnosis. Sorry. So we Yeah, so this, you know, all this poor eye contact and refusal to learn and carried him into kindergarten. And so he's still okay, in kindergarten, you know, he didn't have a, he, he's not diagnosed with type one. But in kindergarten, his teacher tells me he rolls around on the carpet doesn't listen. He doesn't do his work when you know, that you get a worksheet and it just sits there. Unless someone's right there, telling him exactly what to do. Oh, Lord. So that's when I took them to. I'm telling you his his ADHD diagnosis and his type one diagnosis. At the same time, though, it's

Scott Benner 23:22
fine, because after we get through it, I want to understand how it impacts your life with type one and all that, so that's fine. Oh, gosh, yes. So can I ask that question before we move forward? Please don't take this wrong way. Do you have ADHD?

Nidia 23:35
I do. You know, I know my brother probably does. I think I

Scott Benner 23:50
You can't blame me for doing that. I grew up on 70s and 80s. Television where there was a cliffhanger like every week, just how my brain works. I waited entire summer to find out who shot Jr. It wasn't that exciting when you found out. I'm just here real quick to tell you about touched by type one. It's a type one diabetes organization whose goal is to raise money towards the cure, and help people living with Type One Diabetes. That really is that you should learn more about them at touched by type one.org. We're also on Facebook and Instagram. But you really just take a minute and check out the website. They're doing some pretty great stuff down there. Touched by type one.org. While I have your attention, I'm going to remind you that there is a series within the podcast. Actually there are a number of them. Just going to go over them super quickly. And that's for new listeners. And then we're right back to it. There is the diabetes pro tip series. I can't tell you how proud I am of those. I hope you find them. They begin at Episode 210 in your podcast player and are listed at diet BDS pro tip comm also at that link is the defining diabetes series, which I don't even know started so long ago, I couldn't even tell you when but somewhere in the two hundreds, and again, they're also listed at diabetes pro tip calm, and they're on the front page of Juicebox. Podcast calm. The diabetes variable series is really picking up steam, there's, I think like eight or nine episodes of those at this point, really wonderful short conversations talking about the different variables that impact your life with type one. There's the after dark series, where we talked about everything from having sex with Type One Diabetes, to complications to getting high while you have type one and having bipolar, just a bunch of stuff that you don't hear about usually. But we talked about here on the podcast, there's a series about algorithm pumping. How people eat all different kinds of how people eat episodes flexitarian intermittent fasting, Bernstein fodmap on and on and on. I'm proud of those series, and I hope you find them can be tough. I know with a podcast that has over 500 episodes to find 10 or 20 mixed in somewhere. And that's why you need to go to Juicebox Podcast calm or diabetes pro tip comm to find them. I really think there'll be worth your while. Alright, that's it for today, touched by type one.org. And then check out the you know, make sure you understand everything that's inside the podcast, the show has really become a tapestry of information about diabetes, and I'm trying to help you find all the patches because I know some of them might be blending in this point. Hey, while you're at Juicebox Podcast, calm up at the top, there's a link to the free private Facebook group. There are over 15,000 people in there now talking about type one diabetes, I bet you have a lot in common with them. That's about it. Alright, let's get back to Nydia. Find out if she has ADHD.

No, I don't. Okay, because you just have a your your storytelling style is interesting. It's different than most people that that I talked to. I want to get everything in there. How's that? You feel compelled not to miss anything? Yeah, I want to get everything in there. And I know you don't have that much time. Oh, you're fine. You're telling us it's like a Quentin Tarantino movie. Like john travolta is alive and he's dead. But he's alive again. I'm just

Nidia 27:25
yeah. And it happened. Yeah, it happened so long ago, too. And I just kind of want to go in chronological order. So I don't miss thing. You don't have to

Scott Benner 27:31
feel any pressure. But I, I appreciate I just was like, I gotta ask because you jump back and forth a lot in your story. So I was like, sorry, no, no, don't be sorry. I'm just checking into things. Well, however this goes is how it goes. You don't need to feel pressure about that. Okay, but yeah, so Okay, so he's in school acts like you expect in kindergarten, you know, there's not a lot to do, but you're saying he can focus on some things, but not on other things. And and I don't know what to do. Like, I don't know what I would do. If you put me in that situation? I'm sure I would. Yeah, but, you know,

Nidia 28:05
teacher told me and she, I don't know if it was her idea or my idea to get him tested for ADHD. And so we went through the process, he gets a Vanderbilt assessment, which is like a 10. Like, not, it's not a test, it's a questionnaire. So the teacher fills it out. The mother fills it out and somebody else who helps or you know, who sees him interact. And he gets like, threes on fails to give attention to detail or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork. A three very often has difficulty sustaining attention to tasks or activities that three does not seem to listen when spoken to directly three, so everything but teacher fills out points to ADHD, this is kindergarten. Yeah. And I read your I mean, I read. I listened to your red dye story. Okay. And I, somebody did tell me about that. But you know, I don't know, it's just, to me, just that even overwhelming, just the reading labels. And I'll try but no, I think it was beyond my red dye. And I have two other kids that I was pregnant. And you know, I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't do the red try the red dye thing I barely have, you know, enough time to give him attention. As it is I'm not gonna be reading but I mean, not that that's bad. I'm sure if you have you know,

well, I have time to do that.

Scott Benner 29:42
I think it's interesting with a lot of autoimmune stuff and, and things like this, that you think there might be an underlying cause I think there's a difference between an underlying cause that you can impact and an underlying causes already done, what it's going to do. And you know what he mean? And it's so it's hard and it's hard. Hard to know. Because there are just so many streams of information. And the only way you can really figure it out is online. And people and with people sharing their experiences, right. And so it works for some things like diabetes, like, I think that this podcast works well for people who have type one or using it as one. But when you start getting into, you know, I have this thing, and it's because of my dogs, you know, fleas, but another person has the same thing. And it's because it's an autoimmune disorder, but a third person has the same, you know, symptom, but it's from something else. How do you know which one of those things is the thing that's impacting you? Or even if, even if they are, you know, like, maybe yours is another thing. That's that. And so that is a rapid change. Yeah, very, very difficult to figure out what some people figured out by mistake. Some people do very specific, like eliminations of things, like take everything away and start over again. But I've also seen, you know, bright people try elimination diets for issues they're having with their body, and they never come to an answer. Yep. So

Nidia 31:07
and yeah, and I was not willing. I mean, I, you know, I just had a baby. I had just had a baby by this, another baby by this point. So I have four kids. I was not going to try the red dye examination thing with the other. No, it's too much.

Scott Benner 31:22
This is the truth. Listen, the truth is, you could have done it, and then nothing might have happened. And then true.

Unknown Speaker 31:28
I don't know, where do you go high waisted?

Scott Benner 31:31
Well, yeah, it's not even the waste of time. It's the like, what's next? And how? And how do I even find out what's next, then it's just and doctors are not always, you know, it's such a, it's such a, we're getting away from diabetes for a second, you go to a doctor and you say, look, these are my symptoms. And all a doctor does is go back to credited research and see what your symptoms point to. It's not like a doctor or some magical person who hears what you say, and then goes, Oh, I know exactly what this is. You got to stop drinking iced tea. You don't even like it's not it's not like that. It's um, it's very, you know, it's, it's eliminating things, it's coming up with possibilities, and then eliminate them. And then more and more and more. And I don't know, like, doctors have trouble doing it. People have trouble doing it. mothers have trouble doing it. It's not an easy thing to get something like this is, you know, whatever. type one. Yeah. And I yeah, you know, it's a lot of it's a lot of confusing stuff. And in the meantime, you're going through terrible things around it,

Nidia 32:33
as well. Exactly. And like, and the terrible thing is he was falling behind in school, which I didn't like he got his he got diagnosed at the end of kindergarten. And he was below reading level at that time. You know, he was, I saw it right now. And I've kept a lot of the papers, excuse me, that they gave me and it said, he was reading below, grade level. So first grade comes around, and I get I put them on medication. He started on Ritalin. And that was scary. He acted like a zombie and he would fall easily. He just I got scared. No, not this one. But I kept him on it for a little bit. And it did help his teachers noticed. They would tell me Yeah, he's a little more focused. But I didn't like it.

Scott Benner 33:26
Yeah, and it wasn't a magic pill either. It wasn't like he took it exactly. It's not a match. I mean, it kind of sort of I mean, I

Nidia 33:34
it does help a lot. But But you're right. It's not a magic pill, it takes away their appetite. They they do kind of change their their behavior, which sometimes is good. And for him, it was good. He was able to pay attention. He was able to learn more. And and it is good. So but so I started him on Ritalin that happened. And then I switched to someone told me about conservator. So I got him on concert. And that worked better for the rest of the school year. First grade. Okay. So conservative did good, except at the end of the day, when it wore off. He was really he was yelling, he was cranky enemy. He does that but it was over the top. So I decided, you know, I'm going to not do anything starting his second grade year. And so I did it we we didn't have him on any medication. And they asked us and we said, well, we're just gonna see what happens. Hopefully, you know, he grew he matured. Maybe he doesn't need it. Well, he know, same thing. Second grade comes around and no, he's he's still not mature. He's, although he was a little better. Because I guess you know, the first year, his first grade year, I think he got used to the idea of doing work and learning and so I think that it helped a lot but second grade, he still needed it in my opinion, but we didn't Dad was very reluctant to go to vacation. And I was too at the beginning and a lot of people are. And I felt guilty and I felt shame like, Oh my gosh, I've got my kid on ADHD medication. But honestly,

at that point, I

felt that way.

But I don't anymore. And I I feel bad when people say like, Oh, my kid has ADHD, and then someone's like, will try to change their diet or try to do this or, you know, like to avoid medication. And I really don't think people should shame someone for using medication with their child because some of us need it.

Scott Benner 35:41
Yeah, I listen, I think if you need it, you need it. I wonder, do you feel like they were trying to shame you by saying don't try medication do something else? Or did you just feel shame about it?

Nidia 35:52
I just felt shame about it. Just because it's, it's out there. You know, like, you read things or people on TV or to social media are very quick to judge that. And I, I kind of knew that even though no one really shamed me. Except my husband, he's like, I don't like, you know, what if we try it without and but I was I just went with it. And excuse me, and it helped so much and I don't regret it. And he's still on medication, you know, so I decision I

Scott Benner 36:32
What did you find that worked for him?

Nidia 36:34
Okay, so, finally, so second grade, no medication. Let me go with my timeline. So that's what I left him for five months I came back. We enjoy you know, after my mom passed away, I I we had like three months left in Okinawa. I enjoyed my summer with them, I would take them to the beach. That did lots of things. But what I remember specifically was when we went to the beach one time he got cut his his his on his foot, and it kind of look like athlete's foot. And but it wasn't it was a cut and it wouldn't heal. It wouldn't heal, it wouldn't heal. And then my husband's like, well, maybe it's athletes hood and he put some antifungal. It still won't appeal, but slowly it healed. I remember that specifically. And I also remember one time he ate a bunch of Red Velvet Oreo cookies. And he got really sick. He threw it all up in his room and it was red and the carpet got big stain on it. But I also remember another time I left him with a friend and his and my friend, she fed them cereal the whole day. She said, I just said go at it and she fed those and you know cereal?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
Like oh, crap,

Unknown Speaker 37:59
I let them have a cereal the whole day.

Nidia 38:02
Anyway, I remember those things vividly. And I remember also thinking even as a tiny baby all the way, you know, kids feet began to smell, especially when they were crocs. It smells like vinegary. It's a nasty smell. Well, his feet never stunk ever, ever, ever. And I would always tell him your feet smells so good all the time. They never stink. Hmm. Okay. Well, we come back, you know, I we move back to the states in 2017. So that year, you know, my mom passed away. My dad's my dad, my husband's dad also passed away January from cancer, but he had already been diagnosed three years before. So you know, it was a really tough year. And I was, you know, we were were beat up emotionally. And I'm sure the kids felt it. So we went back to El Paso. And we decided to drive because we had a suburban we decided to drive from El Paso to the east coast, where we live. And I'll tell you where we live. We live in Virginia, and that's like a three day drive. During those three during that the first day, I remember looking at him, and I could see his ribs. Like I could see he had like a knot. Not his rib. Well, yeah. Like, I looked at him from behind. He was so thin, and his little ribs would stick out. And I kind of thought and I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's never been this thin. And you know, you're in a car for 12 hours a day and he kept wanting to go to the restroom. And we were like, no, it's ridiculous. It was like, every half hour. So we had him go in water bottles, empty water bottles, and he would fill them up and he would want more water and he was eating a lot and I remember I actually had a type one student when I was teaching because I did teach, you know, face to face. And I remember thinking about the type one student, he was an eighth grader, and I, he would always have to go to the nurse, you know, I think it was right after lunch. So he would always walk in late, and I felt so bad for him because he missed so much material. And I asked him, Hey, how'd you know that you had type one? Like, what were the symptoms? And he told me, oh, I was drinking a lot of water. I was really hungry, but I wouldn't gain weight. And you know, bam, that hit me in the suburban. I was like, we were driving, and I'm like, Oh, my God, could it be? And I looked up the symptoms, and it said, type one. But you know, like you, like you've said on the podcast that you don't know, like, I didn't know anything about type one. But I'm like, it's probably type one. And I had no sense of urgency. I didn't realize how severe he was already in DK or starting DK or something.

Scott Benner 41:01
I mean, I think if you're seeing his ribs, we were pretty far along.

Nidia 41:04
You know, we were and you know, he's a he's a thick kid. He's always been a chubby kid. Like, he's just built big, like big boned. And this, that's not the case for my teenager. And that's not the case for my seven year old. They're really thin. But him and my little girl Oh, my goodness, they're there. You can tell they're like, hefty, and it was unusual for him for Santiago ought to be so thin. But we kept driving, whatever. We had bought a house online, like we had bought a house from Okinawa, we had never seen the house. So we had to sign papers, closing papers. When we got here. We had to sign closing papers and everything. So I was like, okay, it was the weekend almost. And I said, you know, I'm gonna It was a Thursday that we got here. And I said, we want to sign the papers. And he refused some cookies that they were offering him and I was like, that's unlike him. And he was just kind of acting up and, and then on Friday, he slept the once we finished the closing, you know, all the signing all the closing costs, papers, and all that Friday, he slept the whole day, the entire day, he was asleep the whole day. And I remember getting very worried. And when I lifted his head, his little ear was like, bent like folded. And you know, when you when you have that and you're asleep, you wake up and it hurts. Well, he didn't even wake up for that. And that, like, I just, I was like, Oh my gosh, we got to take him to we got to take him somewhere. Right. So my husband's like, well, you want me to buy a glucometer? He's a nurse, by the way. And I said, Yeah, go ahead. So he, you know, he, he was out doing something I don't remember he came back to the house and we tested his blood sugar. It was for 19. Goodness.

We started crying, my husband started crying.

Unknown Speaker 43:12
And

Nidia 43:15
we just took them to the hospital. We didn't even know where the hospital was, you know, we had to use Google Maps because we just got here. Yeah. We show up at the hospital. And my husband's still kind of in denial. Like Could it be a growth spurt? I'm like, no. We know what it is. And it's funny, the doctor that follows there. She actually was the our friend, a friend of ours, a doctor in Okinawa, and she had also come to same place in Virginia. And she's the one who, who told us you know, yeah, he wasn't DK and was diagnosed then. Okay, goodness, that's such a hard story to tell. Sorry.

Unknown Speaker 43:58
But thank you, we,

Nidia 44:02
we just got here. You know, this type one diagnosis. My dad was supposed to leave like a week. My dad came with us. He drove with us. And so he was supposed to leave like a week after we got here. And he ended up staying like, almost a month or two. Cuz we needed him. You know, we were in the hospital with Santiago. We have no one here. You know, we don't know anybody. And thank God he was here because, you know, I have three other kids, the little girl she's five, my teenager and my seven year old and, and well, they needed someone and he was here and he helped and God. But that was a awful, awful time. But oh goodness. I know. It was super unrelated to the ADHD. I know they're completely different. I don't think that the high blood sugars that he was experiencing Wherever related to his behavior.

Scott Benner 45:03
Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, the diabetes came on as its own thing. It wasn't lingering for years and impact me is?

Nidia 45:12
I don't know, I think it's two different things. Yeah. One of them is a brain and the other one's endocrine,

Scott Benner 45:19
it's interesting to listen to you talk about it because you do this thing. But obviously, a lot of people do. But I can hear you while you're talking. How often you search for triggers for things or reasons like in the past, like, I can feel you looking back trying to figure out like, what did this and what did that and I do burdensome it is, but you know, you've you do a really good job on all the podcasts kind of telling people what, it wasn't your fault. It was kind of just gonna happen. And I've accepted that. It's still hard when I think about it. Yeah, I think bag. It's like, Yeah, it really is. But anyway, that's the diagnosis story. That's crazy. And the ADHD came back to haunt us. Listen, I really do want to kind of focus on that for the rest of the way. So yeah, what's it? What what are the impacts of ADHD? And type one being together? How does it mess with

Nidia 46:21
very difficult because so we put them on a new medication starting, I held him back actually, with the diagnosis for for the type one. He was supposed to go into third grade, but I wanted to hold them back in second grade because of this new diagnosis. And I knew the ADHD. And you know, my mom, I had to be with my mom and I couldn't be there for the rest of the school year, he probably fell behind in school. So I said, I'm just gonna keep them in second grade. So I did this new teacher that he got assessed all over again. And yes, he has ADHD again. He he started on Strattera, okay, which is like it's not a stimulant. And I, I actually had what joined a Facebook group. And they recommended that and so I asked the doctor and he's like, Alright, let's try it. Well, it did not do I mean, the teacher would be like, Yeah, he was a little better today, but emotionally that I'm scared of that he would he kept he started saying things like, I wish I was never born. And I looked at one of the side effects is suicidal tendencies. And I'm like, Oh

Unknown Speaker 47:41
my goodness.

Nidia 47:43
steered clear. I'm like nope, I'm out. I don't care if it's a non stimulant. No. Right. And so after that, I don't remember who suggested vyvanse I think it was also a face in the same Facebook group and so I started him on vyvanse and that has been the pill that's worked for us that's been the medication that that works for him and his brain chemistry or whatever and sometimes again, it does take away the the appetite which it helps with the type one it actually it does because you don't eat you know your blood sugar's don't go a pie and so it helps in in that manner. But But what's interesting it also doesn't help that Tim because he's he's high cuz he ate cereal and I didn't Bolus him enough. Oh, I'm so angry. What do you mean you're angry? I am because we have a endo appointment today. And so

Scott Benner 48:47
I always I always amazed me is that people think that their endo is not gonna understand if your blood sugars type perfect. They see all your reports they know it hasn't been perfect.

Nidia 48:56
Yeah, no, no, it's not that but I think like oh my gosh, you know when he takes his agency This is gonna affect it. And and I've been doing such

Scott Benner 49:03
Yeah. All right, today will affect the next day one. See not this one. Don't worry. You'll be alright. Yeah.

Nidia 49:09
And but my end our end oh my gosh, she's amazing. We love her. But she's military. So I don't want to put her in your list.

Scott Benner 49:18
Oh, yeah. I understand. Well, so you tried three is it three or four different medications to get to the vyvanse

Nidia 49:26
this This is the fourth one yeah. vyvanse is the fourth one so yeah, it's not a you know. Try this at work it's the you also have to be a judge like okay, well is he improving in school and behavior like you know, focus and behavior or is it just one or is it yet a side effects are is it worth it? And to us the vyvanse is worth it but like I said it does affect his appetite and and that could be difficult because you know, Basil insolent is Like, the more you eat, the more you'll basil you're probably be probably need. That's what I've seen on him. So like when he doesn't, and I don't sometimes I don't give it to him on the weekends because I want him to eat. Although he's really, he's chubby now. So, you know, it kind of helps with weight control too. That's horrible to say, but it really does because he eats a lot and he and he does exercise but not as much and sometimes, you know, with the, your sugar being all over the place. You're like, okay, exercise. Okay, wait, don't and so

that consistent kind of thing. Yeah, it's

Scott Benner 50:36
it's interesting. It's it's listed as a stimulant that can treat ADHD and a binge eating disorder. Oh, wow. That's Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, I can see that. Well, so, my gosh, first of all, are you okay? Because Yeah, yeah. Oh, good. Because I would I, how are the other three kids? anything going on with them?

Nidia 50:57
Oh, God. It's so funny you asked because right now I'm very overwhelmed. My teenager is having issues with IBD. That like he's doctor hasn't diagnosed him with IBD. But it's kind of there. And, you know, he got a colonoscopy. He got an endoscopy and inflammations there. And he said, he doesn't want to call it a, you know, krones yet, because he doesn't kind of want to label him yet. Okay, so he's giving him some medication to see if it kind of goes away and see what happens. But yeah, that one, yes. And my seven year old, he's, he's got like asthma. Like, and I wouldn't call it like real true asthma. Because I know what true asthma is. This is more like he gets a cold. And he's like wheezing right now, because he just got a cold. He's got that then. And there's food allergies to peanut allergy with him. And then my teenagers got food allergies also. Just, it is a lot.

Scott Benner 52:00
So IBD, asthma type one, ADHD, food allergies, does your husband or you have any of these things? No, anybody in the family line that you're aware of? There's a lot of type two, like his mom, side of the family is heavy type two, she's got type two, she's in. What do you dialysis, end stage and stage renal. But no other like celiac or thyroid?

Nidia 52:33
thyroid? Yes. My mom. hypo, my dad. My dad's brothers have type two. And it's not it does, like it's not from obesity or anything they'd look, they just have their weight is fine. Yeah, it's like type two diabetic but they're, you know, how type two is always associated with weight and all that. But they're not they're, I mean, they're not super obese or I think there, you would look at him and you think they're fine.

Scott Benner 53:04
There's somebody who's weights not a good indicator of whether or not they have type two diabetes, it's just, it's not to think about it. But there's a lot of like, so look. ADHD, you know, is talked about as an inflammatory problem, which then leads that to be autoimmune food allergies can be autoimmune type one is autoimmune asthma, by the way is autoimmune. and so's irritable bowel. So you guys have like, a cornucopia of things. Okay. Yep. Hello, we dodged them. You and I, I mean, my husband, and I've touched them. I don't know. So I don't know anything about this. But it makes me wonder if it's sort of like one of those things like recessive and dominant genes and to have one get together and make another I don't know if that's possible. or not, maybe I might be talking out of my body. But that's fascinating that they have that there's so many kids with different stuff. And yet, you guys are just untouched by it. That's really fascinating.

Nidia 54:08
It is weird. But you know, let me tell you something. My grandmother on my mom's side, she lived to 106. So and with no medical issues, she's

Scott Benner 54:19
she sounds

Nidia 54:21
bite by the weight, but she was while they call it Indian, but Native American from Mexico. And so, you know, got a lot of I guess good blood or

Scott Benner 54:35
with people. That's, um, that's a real crazy line. It really is. That's a lot. Let me let me mention something else. My grandma. Yes. I'm sorry. No, I meant Go ahead, please.

Nidia 54:53
Oh, that my grandma had my so my mom told me the story. She had like a Kids, but she had other kids that died, you know, as kids. But the one that that ended that was back then it was like normal that they died before the age of three, let's say. But she had one that died at the age of eight. And I, you know, my mom's gone. So I can't ask her and she'd never knew about Sunday I was, you know, because it happened after she passed away. About that son of her brother that passed away at the age of eight. I always am like, always thinking about that, could it have been like, type one?

Unknown Speaker 55:33
Yeah, and they didn't know,

Scott Benner 55:35
could have been any number of these things. Honestly, without without medical intervention. You know, we talk about it here sometimes, you know, in our house. And I'll say it a ton on the podcast, but three of the four people in my immediate family would not be alive without modern medicine and intervention. On some love or not, my wife grew up with terrible ear infections that clearly 200 years ago would have killed her. I had my appendix, you know, went south on me, which before surgery would have killed me. And Arden has type one diabetes, which would have you know, by the way, I know this is crazy, but I was right by mistake. And now everyone's gonna probably think I'm an idiot. But Arden was diagnosed on August 22 2006, which was very month, a month after her her birthday, but I didn't remember that. When I was talking to you Just now I had to look on my own blog to the first time I ever wrote something on a blog, which was August 16 2007. And I started off by saying, you know, that I haven't been able to sleep for about a year. And then Arden's about to be a type one for one year on August 22. And then I'm starting a blog that crazy 2000 because what is it? That's 2021, isn't it? You won't do the math on that. Hold on. Three gets you to 1020 one's 11. Yeah, at 11. Free, you get 14? I've been doing this for 14 years. Yes. When the blog has she's 16. So yeah, she was too much. So you you knew better than I did. I had to figure it out. It's interesting. You can figure out my stuff, but not your own stuff. Yeah. I'm sitting over here trying to figure out everything is happening to my family as well. It's almost twinsies Yeah, well, I think we all are. And it seriously can be it's completely, I was gonna say can be overwhelming, but it is overwhelming. Because, you know, you look out the door and you think, well, that guy's okay. You know, I look at my neighbor, my neighbor seems fine. You know, probably doesn't have any problems in the world talking to him one day. He's had hypothyroidism for like, nine years. The guy is like, yeah, you know, my other neighbor. Like, literally, they were, you know, close, as close to these people as you can beat up neighbors. And if, if one of my other neighbors would never have told me, I never would have known she had breast cancer. Oh, wow. Right. And yeah, yeah, it's inside your home, it's easy to feel like, stuff is happening to us. It's just to us. But a lot of people have stuff like this. And I mean, there's that like, pie in the sky feeling like that, you know, they're, you know, you're a great great grandmother, whoever who lived like 300 years old, but it's just, that's not the norm. That's, you know, it just isn't the norm to live your whole life. 100 years and not get sick ever. No, not anymore, anyway. Yeah. Well, and especially well, especially when you're, you're saying just a couple of generations ago, people were losing their children, like, you know, like, they were losing their iPhone down a couch cushion, just, you know, like, Oh, where's that one where this one, go three, eight, you know, people died. So now you get to stay alive longer, and you find out what happens? You need some medical intervention, you know, and I think that seriously, seriously, though, you have to say, I'm alive. I get to live a life. It's, it's sometimes it's not the perfect one. But it the old there is no alternative to you know, the opposite of being alive is not existing. So there's there's no alternative except to take, you know, the cards you're dealt and do the best you can with them. Yeah, yeah. And I

Nidia 59:25
and I take that, like, that's how your podcast Believe it or not, has helped me see like, not see that but feel that and and push through it and not feel like sorry for myself or sorry for our family. But just and I tell my teenager that because you know, he's going through a lot. He also has like anxiety issues and stuff. And, and I tell him, because he's like, how could other people just enjoy and you know, we're, I'm stuck here and I go, we just got to work with what we have. And that's all And try to do the best that we can with what it is because I tell him you're very smart boy, you know you're intelligent, you will go other places that others won't who might be having fun right now. So you got to kind of, like you say, play the cards you're dealt, because we have other strengths that others might not. And so you you

push through and you,

you know, just don't even think about all the stuff you're going through. Well, you do think about it, but I'm saying, you know, it's okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
We'll get through this.

Scott Benner 1:00:35
You can't let it weigh on you. And you have to understand too, that the thing you dreamt about, that maybe isn't your dream, you don't mean just because when you're nine years old, you think to yourself, like, Oh, I know what I'm gonna do when I grow up, I'm gonna do this, and it doesn't work out that way. You know, it's funny, when it doesn't work out that way. Most people just pivot. But when it doesn't work out that way, because of a health issue, you feel like it was taken from, you know, like, I mean, yeah, how many kids play a sport, you know, as a as young kids, right? There's most of them. But you know, when you're 25, and you haven't played soccer, since you were 11, you don't think that somebody came along and stole your soccer dream away? You think, you know, it just wasn't for me. I wasn't, you know, it ended up I wasn't a college soccer player. I'm not a professional soccer player, whatever it ends up being. But when you have a dream of doing something, and then a medical thing gets in your way, you think, well, now this has been taken from me. Not not, like, not just that the natural progression of my life didn't lead me in this direction. And it's, you know, I understand, you know,

Nidia 1:01:38
that that really speaks to me, because I feel like I've felt that the diagnose like the type one diagnosis kind of took my career away. Like I was thinking, Okay, when we go back to the States, I will find a face to you know, like a real? No, not that virtual is not real, but like a face to face job as a teacher again, because I loved teaching high school. And I had that in mind. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do that. And, bam, type one. No, you're not. And that's how I felt.

Scott Benner 1:02:14
Well, no, it's not it's not inaccurate, because it is what happened. I mean, I don't, most of my life is not what I expected. And a majority of that is because of diabetes. Some of it's because of other people's health issues and, and the way they lead you into certainly, it's just, it is what it is, you know, my life did not turn out like a television show. That's for certain, right? Like, I'm not, you know, but kinda though like a movie while you're here. So anyway, I got this really successful podcast I think it's more like a heart. But But no, but you know what I mean? Like it's not just like everybody's not smiling. We don't have a little pot right into the evening and then sit around the fire and you know, then dad comes home and trips over the Ottoman It's not like that, you know, it's um, it's like a real life. It's,

Nidia 1:03:05
it is and it I agree that and also the type one the all these health issues and also they take a toll on on the marriage. You know, I find myself getting so angry at my husband over dumb things. Like what like this, like, okay, like this morning, I go, I grab my coffee. I grab my coffee creamer and I love I don't drink like the regular milk based. I like the the element. coffee creamer. So I buy my own and I buy him his french vanilla. You know, gross milk based one. And mine is almost empty. And I'm like, Why has he been using my coffee creamer? I bought him his it's right there. It's full. And

Unknown Speaker 1:03:52
things like that.

Scott Benner 1:03:53
Yeah, I want to tell you something right now. Okay. When you started telling that story, every married guy listening was like, oh, here comes interestingly, the women listening who are married, or like a DD is crazy. I would never do anything like what you all do? I just want you to know that we all do. Like everybody, every time you hear somebody else say something and you're like, Ah, that's weird. You do the same thing. You just probably do it around something different media. You're crazy. Let's let the guy eat the coffee creamer and just stop it. Don't worry, buy more I know just go buy more. But no, but not not listen, not crazy. Maybe crazy to believe that somehow this is going to change. You know, I mean, like that's, that's the interesting thing. Like, I mean, how many times do you need to see something before you say to yourself, I should lose this expectation? You're right, you're right. That's all. I don't know what to say. There. That's Um, I think that happens to both sexes. In a in a in a standard marriage between a man and a woman. I think that I could get your husband on here and he would tell 25 stories and weird things. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, and you can do the same thing. So I don't know.

Nidia 1:05:04
Yeah, we also like we we also fight. Well, these see that those little arguments then go blow up into bigger fights and and for example I don't even know what we were fighting about but but the fact that I take care of Santiago and he has kind of nothing to do with it came up. And I don't mind that

Unknown Speaker 1:05:26
come up when you brought it up by the way. I don't remember. I don't think I did, because I think he might think

Scott Benner 1:05:33
he started the conversation by saying, you know, I'm not really involved in this diabetes thing at all. No, that's because that sounds like something I shut up about if I was so

Nidia 1:05:43
think so I can you believe I don't even remember how it came up. But he's like, it. He it really ticked me off. He's like, you take care of him because I let you. If I took care of him, I'd probably be doing a better job than you. Oh.

He pushed my buttons. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:06:03
Well, you know, you should do don't buy him anymore. Kramer and hide yours. That's what you could easily hide it. I didn't live without creamer for a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Nidia 1:06:15
We just jabbing at each other that day, you know, and then but he really knew how to get to me that day. And I was so angry. Yeah, no, I think I think I told him, I said, Oh, make sure Santiago Bolus is for this. And I said, Oh, but you don't know. Because we were using loop actually. And so he was very against it. And he's like, it's not FDA certified, blah, blah, blah. I said, That's okay. I think I know what I'm doing now, you know, after three years and a lot of podcast listening. And he's like, it's not FDA approved. I don't I don't want to do that. And so I tried it in November that loop. And then it was overwhelming back then. Cuz you know, you've said it. I heard those podcasts with the first one with Jenny, where you said, If I didn't have you, I'd quit in a week.

Scott Benner 1:07:08
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have done it for six days. I don't think without having somebody to like lean on.

Nidia 1:07:14
I quit in a week. Especially cuz I think I tried to show him something. And he's like, I'm not learning that it's not FDA approved, or something like that, you know, some flippant thing. And I oh my gosh, I was so angry. And I tried to do it. But he is, you know how you Bolus food and it kind of goes high and, and I tried to open and then his, his canula went off. And then his blood sugar was like 400. And I was like, Oh my god, it just went really bad. And then I didn't have support from him. So I was like, forget it. So I quit. But then I came back to it. In December,

Scott Benner 1:07:51
I think we've learned here in this hour is that if you're by yourself, it's lonely. And when you're other when you're with other people, you find yourself thinking, I wonder what it would be like to be alone.

Yeah, but I mean, I would never I would never want to kill him and put him in a small box. That's not what you were gonna say. Is it? No, no, of course. You know, listen, your we would I don't think I've ever I want to leave them. No, no, I'm not saying that about how long you've been married. 20 Okay. 298 Yeah, you're in the 25 year range. Almost 20 Yeah, this 2122 2323 years. Yeah, all you have to do is make a feel like the next five or six years and this will all just fade away again. Then you can just say you can just stare at each other until it's over. It'll be nice. Finally, there'll be nothing.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:54
I guess. You

Scott Benner 1:08:57
know, I think it's interesting when, when you've been together with somebody for so long. And it's so it's just, there's a decision you make in your head when when you start having like, my wife will say something and I'll have to think to myself like do I want to fight about that? And then most of the time I go No, I don't and then I just you know, I artfully move past it. I'm sure she does the same thing with me. But there's that once in a while where something gets said and you're like yeah, I'm gonna plant a flag on this hill and fight for a while.

Nidia 1:09:28
Yeah, yeah, you're right you're right. That does happen. I'm like okay, whatever. He's angry or Yeah, he's tired from work.

Scott Benner 1:09:36
Let it go. It never end it never ends well, I have never once thought let me fight this fight and then at the end thought well, that went well. I'm glad I did that. Never once it's never happened to me. I've always regretted it afterwards. therapists so Okay, I won't buy is your phone. Oh boy. Did you by any chance unlock your iPhone. It's making a weird that I'm getting a weird noise on your end.

Nidia 1:10:00
Let me see, let me see Oh, no, I didn't. Well, then I was on the chair that might have been might have been making some noise.

Scott Benner 1:10:07
No, no, this is very electronic noise, something's interfering with this all of a sudden. But anyway, it does. You know what, it's good. It's a, it's a good time to say, goodbye anyway. Because we've been at it for a while, I want to say this nidia I really appreciate you coming on most people who end up coming on telling their stories about things like ADHD and diabetes, or just recently I've been having a conversation with someone about like, Oh, I need you to have a talk to somebody about PCs. I want everyone to realize there's, there's no, there are no like people with magic answers out in the world. And, and you have people on to have these conversations, to find similarities and maybe be able to pick through them and you know, get a couple of ideas here or there, or at least just feel comfortable that somebody else is living the same existence. But there are not a lot of magic people with answers. Like, I think that's a construct of, you know, like major media, like, we're going to bring on this expert. Now he's going to tell you how to do this, and it just doesn't really exist, whether it's, you know, ADHD, or type one diabetes, or anything like that, you're just gonna hear ideas, and hopefully, some of them are gonna meld into your life. And once in a while, we get super lucky, right, and we find Jenny, but for the most part, you know, when there are issues that have so many varying approaches, I mean, look at this with ADHD, you know, for medications to find an answer for your son. You just got to hear the stories and figure out what's going on. But, you know, I'm guarantee you that this started with EDS saying like, I hope you can we have an episode with someone with ADHD, I need to hear from somebody with ADHD. And she turns out, she's the person you're hearing from, so I really appreciate you doing it. No problem. And one more thing I want to add here is your your voice is completely bonkers. If you if you really have something you want to say I'll just connect and read and we can reconnect and try it. Sure I do. Okay, so, alright, say hello. Hello. There we go.

Nidia 1:12:09
Alright, I just wanted to share something with you, please. Yeah. So I'm in a, I'm in your Facebook group. Am I making three for type one Facebook groups? And I'm in this one that call that's called T one D moms? I think. So, you know, they ask questions, you know, or you ask questions, and they answer and this young lady, she asked a question, she said something about, you know, my daughter's always in the two hundreds. I'm not comfortable. And I replied, oh, you probably just need more insulin. And she had said that her doctor said that for her daughter's weight that that was you know, what she was given was enough, was supposed to be enough. So I that's what I said wait, doesn't? It doesn't matter how much she weighs? everyone's needs are different. So she ends up messaging me, like privately. And we start you know, talking. And I I did a Skype on her. Talk to her. And I'm actually helping her. Yeah, we upped her Lantus. I mean, obviously, I tell her, you know, I would do this, if I were you. And you know, I've heard and I told her about your podcast, she listens now. Oh, hello. And her name is Matt aisyah. And she, she's like, Yeah, I don't mind you using me. And I just wanted to talk to you about you know, your podcast has not only helped myself, but now I feel like you do like it made me feel so good. I I'm you know, upping her lantis and helping her with all these boluses has really helped her daughter, I think she was at an 8.5 a one c last time she went three months ago. And with just like, almost two weeks of help. She just went in and her a once he was 7.5. And it was Yeah, it was only two weeks of me helping her and she said she used to be in the two three, you know, 200 hovering on the two hundreds and her nurse practitioners like don't give her insulin, you know, three hours, every three hours every three hours do the correction and don't feed her for more than 45 carbs and and I said that's baloney feeder whatever you want,

Scott Benner 1:14:22
as long as her child had diabetes 10 months, okay.

Nidia 1:14:28
Well, and but but the the nurse practitioner was not being helpful. Not even in this last appointment she had she says she said the nurse practitioner was like, Well, no, don't give her insulin. Unless she eats and don't correct all the after three hours, only 45 grams of carbs and she didn't even give her on the pod. I'm thinking in Spanish. I said that is a prescription. Okay. And so she goes to the class and I'm just kind of like, Oh my gosh, I'm so lucky not to have You know, to our endo, you know, just gives me what I want. And here's this nurse practitioner not letting her get what she wants. And I understand, you know, some, she wanted to give her the in pen just to track her her information, but I was like, don't pay for something that you're not going to use you want the Omnipod just get the Omni pod

Scott Benner 1:15:24
that interesting. Yeah, I mean, in the beginning of diagnosis, you, you get sometimes sketchy help. And then it takes a little time to figure out if that's going to be the quality of care all along, or if they were easing you into it. You know, I never know which you'll never know what it is in the beginning. But it's wonderful that you guys found each other.

Nidia 1:15:44
Yeah. And and so thank you, you not only helped you know, me, and you, let me tell you just one more thing you help people not only like with the management, but for me, it's emotionally. Excuse me, you you have helped a lot. You know what, and I can't tell you specifically how but all of the things that you say, just really helped me get comfortable and I've gotten comfortable where I'm at, I might even consider studying to be a diabetes educator, maybe?

Scott Benner 1:16:15
I'm afraid you're gonna find time for that. But that'd be amazing. If you did it. It might happen one day. Listen, that is very kind of you to share with me. I really appreciate it. I'm problem. I'm so happy that the podcast is been valuable for you. And then it allows you to be valuable in somebody else's life. That is really the goal is that for people to talk about this in a way that's not restrictive, to their, their good health outcomes. So okay, thank you, buddy. Know, you're I can't believe you're thanking me, but that's very kind You're welcome. means a lot. I don't know what it makes me feel. Yeah.

Nidia 1:16:50
Thank you. Well, just again, thanks again, for everything, all your experience, all your years of experience, and just kind of giving it out for free. No

Scott Benner 1:16:59
bites, Lisa. Hey, there's advertisers. I it's not it's not like I am, you know, I'm getting paid. It's just not by you. I feel very strangely about I don't know if this is not really a critique about others. But there's a real trend in social media right now to charge people for the things you know. And I just don't, I don't have that in me. I don't understand. I could never do that. Like I could never say like media, guess what, for just $69 a month, you can be in my facebook group and ask people like I love a zoom meeting. And it just I don't get all that like I'm not. Maybe it's just generationally misses me. But I have more of a capitalist mind. I think if I put out something that's quality, I could sell an add on it. And then you can get the information. I can be covered for my time and everybody wins is how it seems to me. So yeah, that's that's been the case. Yeah. Now I and being completely clear, prior to the last couple years of the podcast, I I've never taken an ad in my life. Like when I started that blog back in 2007. People offered me ads. And I was like, Nah, that's okay. Like, I don't like I didn't need it, to do the, to make the blog, like, you know, but the podcast has become an amount of time that that, you know, I had to give away other ways that we were supporting ourselves. So Oh, yeah. So it ends up being what it is. But I really appreciate that. It's really kind of you. I'm thrilled. Honestly, I don't sound thrilled because I don't modulate my voice around this because I usually, I usually just get embarrassed, but it's really cool. Really cool. I just wanted to share that. I thought that was Yeah, I thought that was pretty neat that she trusted me to guide her. And and they're doing great. Well, well, you know what happened? You get desperate enough. You're just like, all right. Say it again. What? No, it's Yeah,

Nidia 1:18:50
I think she was like she was she knew she could do better. And I told her she's a great mom for drawing. Yes. for searching and trusting somebody.

Scott Benner 1:19:01
I agree. So I want to wish you a ton of luck and everybody in your house. A lot of luck. And how long have you been in Virginia? Now?

Nidia 1:19:09
This is our third No, wait. We're going on our fourth year now. So yeah, we extended so it was supposed to be only three years. But with the diagnosis and everything. I'm like, I know I had enough. Let me just stay somewhere for like six years. A question

Scott Benner 1:19:24
before I let you go and a comment. So my question is, how did it end up buying a house sight unseen did that workout? It did? Okay. We love the house. Yeah. And a long time ago in our conversation, it's gonna be 45 minutes ago, you were trying to come up with the word impulsive. And you stopped and you stopped to find it. And after you found it, you said thank you out loud. Who were you thinking? myself? Oh. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a voice in your head. That's all I

Nidia 1:19:58
know. You know, I'm filing So like I like I, sometimes I forget words. Yeah. And I search and I search and I'm like, Is it

Scott Benner 1:20:09
so I I imagined that's what you were doing I just didn't know who you thanked at the end I was like I didn't know if you had a friend named Patty that lives on your shoulder like thank you Patty. Crazy that's just my little wellness check for you seem like you're okay, so Nevermind. All right. Well, first of all, let's thank media for coming on the show and doing such a terrific job. I had a great time talking to her. I hope you enjoyed listening. I also want to thank touched by type one, and remind you to go to touch by type one.org or find them on Facebook, and Instagram. And then all those series that I told you about, remember the diabetes pro tip series, defining diabetes algorithm pumping diabetes variables afterdark how we eat there are so many to choose from, check them out at Juicebox Podcast comm while you're there, click on the links for the sponsors support the show

#546 Type 1 Firefighter

Kyle is an adult firefighter living with type 1 diabetes.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, this is Episode 546 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's show, I'm joined by Kyle. He's an adult who's had Type One Diabetes for a handful of years. He's also a firefighter. And he is an interesting one. There are a few other things that are interesting about Kyle, but I don't want to give it all away right here. I'd like you to listen to the

Unknown Speaker 0:29
episode.

Scott Benner 0:31
Of course, I'd also like it if you remembered while you were listening, that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin, have you ever heard that episode bold with insulin? It's the 11th episode in the podcast number 11. Check it out. I've got a little space here. So I'm going to use it up. If you're a US resident who has type one or a US resident who is the caregiver of someone with type one, and you'd like to help people living with Type One Diabetes, but you don't want to get off your sofa. I've got the link for you. T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox takes you less than 10 minutes to fill out the survey. And when you do you help people living with type one diabetes, and you support the podcast. It's a win win win.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. g vo hypo Penn. Find out more at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. Since you have to have a meter you might as well get a good one. Try the Contour Next One blood glucose meter find out more about it at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox.

Kyle Kondoff 1:57
Just looking to my ptmc my phone my PDM and then I got my my glucose on my watch. So make sure Where's your blood sugar at? I can see it Oh, oh 117 A Here we go. My name is Kyle Kondoff. And I'm a type one diabetic. There's no pressure now, firefighter for going on 10 years now. And just over five years diagnosed as type one.

Scott Benner 2:22
Wow, how old are you? I'm 3232. So you became a firefighter 22 diagnosed around 27. Yes, I got that pretty well, we get that if everybody would just come on with like increments of five for all their answers. I think I would look like a genius. What made you want to be a firefighter.

Kyle Kondoff 2:43
So I was actually a pedestrian versus vehicle. I was the pedestrian whenever I was 19 years old. And the firefighters basically brought me back from the dead, kind of they did CPR and had the defibrillator on me and everything, according to my friends. And so whenever they got me back, they got me in the ambulance and flew me to the hospital and I came back after basically having to learn to walk again. And it was probably about four months later that I decided that you know, they saved my life. So I wanted to save other people's lives. I started off as a lifeguard here in San Antonio at Six Flags, Fiesta, Texas got up the supervisor and talked to the EMTs and medics that were at the waterpark and the park itself. And they talked to me about you know, being an EMT and, and firefighter and everything. So I started on that journey at that point.

Scott Benner 3:45
Wow. How old were you when you were in the accident? That was 1919. What were you doing? How'd you did? Let's just be for a second. Was it you? Or was it the car? What happened?

Kyle Kondoff 3:56
It was the cars fault. They well unfortunately, Texas is a crosswalk state. So he got to be in a crosswalk and everything. So the guy wasn't really at fault. There's problems with the police report, and he said he wasn't intoxicated. The cop said he didn't appear to be intoxicated. But the cop also said that I was wearing the wrong colored clothes from what I was at night. I don't have the clothes anymore because they cut them off at the hospital. Or they're on the scene. But at the same time. I know what I was wearing, because I pictured from that night so it kind of it screwed me in a way that you know, we couldn't sue the guy or anything like that. But turns out that my friends believed us intoxicated. So anyway, it was not a drunk driver but a drunk driver that hit me. And he he actually drove about 200 feet farther down and I guess kinda looked in his rearview mirror and saw all my friends kind of standing around me. And the first thing he did was he ran up on top of wherever we were. I was laying in the ground and everything my friends were dealing with me And the first thing he said was I swear I haven't been drinking so

Scott Benner 5:06
it's always the way to go. I just want to start by saying I don't know how that woman got my bed now honey you ever heard ever heard Dennis Rodman? Explain getting caught cheating. We Carmen electric. Yeah. Have you heard him say that? He said the the woman fell out of the ceiling. He did not know how she got into the hotel room. Yeah. I think you're out of excuses when you go to that. Pretty much. Anyway, um, what kind of injuries Did you sustain?

Kyle Kondoff 5:36
So I actually had a compound fracture my femur, my left femur, and that's where the bone breaks through the skin by it broke right in the middle of my leg. And I had two fractures in my left hip, where the the the bones were cracked and everything, and I had a surgery to put two pins in my hip. And then I have a rod going through my femur. Luckily, I was 19 at the time, and so they didn't have to pull it out. And you know, worry about me growing or anything like that I was done at that point. But I still, you know, still have pain and stuff to this day from that. But then outside an NCL and an ACL tear on my right knee. So basically, I was standing a certain way and the car clip me. And then I had various injuries to my face. And hey, and I had road rash on my hand. And then from where I hit the windshield, you can see scars and stuff, holding cracks and everything.

Scott Benner 6:33
That's terrible. And you are your professional firefighter.

Kyle Kondoff 6:38
Yes, yeah, I've been doing this for over two and a half years now career, I was volunteered before that. But I worked on an oil rig as a confined space and rescue team member and then I was an oilfield, firefighter as well. So now I work for the county area. Two jobs right now,

Scott Benner 6:57
a lot of intense jobs that you have. They're all like very physical, are you incredibly physically fit, or?

Kyle Kondoff 7:04
I'm not gonna say incredibly physically fit. But yes, it's very important to stay fit for our job. I mean, as you know, you know, firefighting is an intense job anyway. So no matter what we have to work out, we have to keep ourselves up to a certain standard.

Scott Benner 7:19
Yeah, so I have the tiniest overlap, trust me, but it's a very tiny overlap with you. But my entire life growing up, my father was a volunteer fireman. And I look back on that time and genuinely believe that 65% of it was a way for him to get out of our house. And, but the other bit was, he really was, you know, like a community oriented person, he really did want to be helping people. And there were times it's funny how it goes, right? There are stretches. When I was younger, where there were a lot of fires, and I don't just mean like, you know, somebody bush in their backyard, but buildings that were involved in, you know, required, you know, multiple counties and things like that. And now there just don't seem to be as many of those types of fires, is that building code stuff? Like why or am I making that up? Or are there?

Kyle Kondoff 8:13
No, you're not? You're not actually making that up. So what I would assume, and this is me not knowing exactly, you know, when your father was a firefighter, but you're talking up in New Jersey, New York area, correct?

Scott Benner 8:25
Yeah. And they can the 70s 80s

Kyle Kondoff 8:28
Yeah, in there. So those were called the warriors. That's actually whenever they had the most fires. That was, unfortunately, we lost a lot of guys on 911. And a lot of those guys were from that era that passed, but they took a whole lot of knowledge with them. And they had a lot of fires. I've been reading books lately about a lot of guys that were in in the 70s and 80s started taking their tests and stuff. But were with the captains and chiefs and whatnot, that that fought during those years. And that I mean that sometimes, you know, five, six fires a day, in the bad parts of you know, the cities and areas where it was rundown, and they had vagrants and stuff like that. And it had a lot to do with with New York and the New Jersey area. So it's a whole lot different fighting fire up in the northeast than what it is down here in Texas.

Scott Benner 9:19
not crazy. I just have to say that I you know, I realize you're a professional at this point, but it's amazing to watch a siren go off, and a salesman and a trash truck driver. My dad was a you know, a man who took care of machinery and a rubber molding factory and, and you know, these people would all just sort of come together and they jumped on a truck and rode to a fire and took care of it like like professionals it was and they did a lot of training. I tried when I was 16. And I did it for three years. And I had to do hundreds of hours of training. Just to you know, just to take the thing off my helmet that made everybody think I didn't know what I was doing just so they maybe give me a chance to try something, and it was an incredible thing to help other people, and it's time consuming. And I don't, I don't imagine that people who, who live around paid fire departments realize that, that a lot of the country is covered by volunteers.

Kyle Kondoff 10:15
So it's actually 70%, around about 70%. volunteer in the entire country, there's very few major metropolises that have, you know, the the professional career firefighters, we're all professionals, you know, the careers and the volunteers, guys, we all terrain, you know, exactly how we can, to the best of our ability all the time, and you might see some putting in a little more effort than others. But at the same time, you know, we all have to realize that we've got a job to do. And so it's really important. But as you were talking about the training, we have continuing education, where we're constantly training on shift, trying to do some sort of training all the time. So

Scott Benner 10:59
I just, I will never forget, I've tried to pass this ideal on to my kids, and I don't know that I've ever done it well, but the first time I was at, at a training academy, and we were going to go into a building, so this building is just this concrete shell so they can burn it over and over again, right. And, you know, we entered the building, the fire was on the second floor, we send it the stairs, we get to the top of the stairs, and I've never, and I don't think I'll ever see anything like it again, it was like being inside of a giant pizza oven. Every wall and the ceiling was covered in fire. It was just everywhere. And and, you know, and everyone's training except for and so there's there's nervousness. And so, the person lugging the hose just drops it and you hear it go down the stairs, down each step, just all the way down, you're like, Okay, you can just hear the nozzle just tumbling down the stairs. And so in that moment, the four of us that didn't know what the hell we were doing, you know, we're like, what do we do? And I think one of them said, I'll get it the rest of you stay. And so somebody hustled to it brought it back. And for you know what, I'm gonna be honest, how was probably 25 seconds. The without the water on the fire the room just it was it was just done. Just it's indescribable. What that much fire look like. And I just thought I'll never forget how, how awesome the power of it is. It just was, it was insane. Then the water headed, it just started to quell and you were like, Oh, my God. And I got out of there. And I thought, why am I doing this. But I think there's a large part. And we're gonna move on in a second. But I think there's a large part of the fact that I don't panic around diabetes, that comes out of those three or four years that I spent doing stuff like that, because I was around things that were dangerous and dead bodies and being awoken at three o'clock in the morning, and then suddenly having to do something that's sometimes physical or thought, you know, thoughtful or, you know, you're, you know, you're sound asleep, and five seconds later, you're racing down the street in this giant truck. And so I've seen some panicky things. And I know the difference between something to panic about and something not to panic about. I was wondering if you see any correlation between that and how you handle your type one?

Kyle Kondoff 13:23
Absolutely. So I think that that is something that I didn't address. For the longest time, I didn't realize exactly, you know, growing up, we're all raised differently, we're brought up in a certain way. And even I mean, I have a sister, you know, she's a little bit different than I am and the way that we were brought up, but from family to family, everything differs. And I think that's how we have to think about it with our diabetes, because for so long, I've tried to show people exactly what I do for my diabetes and how I take care of it and how I've achieved my success. And there's still there's good days and bad days everybody has. And I think there's the panicking part, though, exactly what you're talking about, you know, I can, because of the way I take care of myself, and because I'm not panicking, I can be sitting on the scene and I'm 65 and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna get a glucose tablet. And I'll address this a little bit later, you know, but right now I have to worry about this fire, I have to worry about this medical patient, whatever the case may be. And kind of the same thing with highs. If you know we're eating and I've given insulin, most of the time, I don't give insulin before I'm eating on the job. But if I've given insulin, then I'm not going to freak out. I'll pop a couple of glucose tablets and go on the call and you know, I'll deal with the low or the high later on, I'll figure it out. But no matter what, it's always an adjustment game. And I think just not freaking out is the the hard part to convey, especially to newly diagnosed I mean, it's very difficult to, you know, be in that hospital room and be at the doctor's office, whatever the case may be and just be explained all this information. You're sitting For four or five hours, and then they give you an insulin and a meter and say, okay, you do it now. And it's hard not to freak out after that. So you know, that's why we say that people are in their honeymoon phase. And, and they're, you know, as firefighters were probationary firefighters, I called the newbies that are coming in probies, because it takes some time to learn, they've got to learn from everybody else, they've got to figure it out for themselves, figure out what the carbs are going to do figure out what the protein is going to do figure out everything, and, and make adjustments, and it's going to take some time, it's not going to happen overnight.

Scott Benner 15:34
I can't, I can't agree with that any more Actually, I just think that there's, there's such a, there's such a line to be drawn between, you know, a lot of people don't have this experience. But you know, I was only ever a volunteer, and, but I lived just across the street from the firehouse that I that I worked at. And so we used this a long time ago. I'm pretty old. Now, Kyle. But we used to have these, um, these little like squawk boxes in our houses. And I don't know how they worked. But when the county you know, set off the tones that that triggered, you know, the siren back at the Firehouse that got people to come to the files, they would also set off these little boxes in our in our houses. And they would just give off this a really loud pitch squeal that was just, it was frightening if you were asleep. I mean, it would scare the hell out of you every awake, right? And so you're dead asleep, suddenly, on your feet, you don't know how you're in close, I just run across the street, I'd be in my gear and waiting as people came up. And Moments later, it's four o'clock in the morning, and you are literally driving down the street there, you know, lights going, you don't need sirens, hopefully that time of the morning. And there's this and you're listening to the radio and someone's explaining to you what's what's about to come when you get there. And you're like, Wow, I've only been awake for 10 minutes, and I'm pulling hose off a truck and that buildings on fire and all the neighbors are standing out here. And there's no time to react to how horrible all that is. It's just like something bad happened. And now I'm going to do the thing I'm supposed to do. And and you don't get to live in the part that the neighbors are living in. You know, you don't I mean, I just think that with diabetes that obviously in the beginning, right? You don't have all the tools and all the training and it's all just panicky. But once you've got it, then that's where I think you see people who have any kind of autoimmune issue actually stuff that they live with all their lives. They just the here's the bad thing. Here's what I do next. And then it ends. And that's it. And you don't have you don't have to get involved in the in the drama that that exists in there for the people who are uninitiated or, or, or don't know what to do next when they see something like that happen?

Kyle Kondoff 17:47
I don't know. Yes, for sure. For sure. No, I hear exactly what you're saying. because like you said, you know, the training and figuring it all out whether it be firefighting, whether it be dying, be diabetes, then you're training yourself, whenever you're a rookie, whenever you're going your first fire or something like that, you know, the guys turning around, and that's why it's a big deal for you. And you know, we have a special dinner, you know, he buy dinner, whatever it is, because it's a big deal for you, because it's your first fire. Well, whenever you get off that truck, or you come around the corner, and you see those flames, your eyes are open wide, and everybody's gonna be watching your back the best that they can, because they know that you don't know at all, you don't know exactly what you're doing, you have to be monitored by somebody else. And I think that's important with diabetes is right away. I mean, we have the diabetic online community, but we've also got our CDs, we've got our endos. And we've got people that we can talk to and figure it out. Whenever we're first diagnosed, I think a huge, huge thing is the diabetic online community. Because sometimes it's difficult to reach a CV, sometimes it's difficult to reach the endos. And not everybody's gonna have the answer that you want on the DLC. But at the same time, there's somebody out there, and we're all going through somewhat of the same thing. So we understand it. And that's the hard part is sometimes it's hard to realize whenever you've been in this for 50 years, five years, 10 years, whatever it is, there's somebody that just got the news yesterday, and you're trying to give them all that information, and you're getting frustrated with them. But at the same time, they're frustrated because they're going through this. So we all just need to sit back and look at it and I think empathy is huge.

Scott Benner 19:24
You have to be able to cherry pick knowledge from people to like you can't just look at somebody and idolize them and say this is the person who knows everything because this person might have very like you know, I'm I keep like flipping back and forth between this and firefighting. But I remember this one guy who just could run the scene, like he was very good at keeping everything together, putting people in places, keeping people working and getting the fire out. And I'd listened to him about that stuff. But there was also another guy that one time got caught in a room and just went through the wall into another room and you're like that no one teaches that. Like that guy's like, you don't even Like he's a different guy. And so you wouldn't ask that second guy how to run the scene, you wouldn't ask the first guy, you know, hey, if you really got stuck in a room, what would you do? Because this guy, Greg just took a pry bar and just went through a wall into a room that wasn't on fire. And I was like, that kind of stuff is, you know, everybody has a thing they're good at. And when you reach out online, there's a little more kind of like mental surgery you have to do because you have to first assess who's who, like, who knows what, and also who's been here longer. Because you can sometimes bump into people who are in the same boat you are, but for some reason to you, they seem like they're knowledgeable. You ever, ever, you know what I mean? Like, you'll bump into a, you go into a group chat, or you'll go into a Facebook page, or you see somebody talking on Instagram, and somebody comes off as having gravitas. And you kind of start listening to them. And then the longer you realize, okay, they haven't had diabetes any longer than my kid has, or that I have or whatever. And it's just very interesting. But you have to cherry pick, some people say amazing things. I watched the thread this morning, that I didn't agree with some of the things that were being said in it. And I thought, there's enough smart people in here like this is going to come to a resolution like this thread will eventually end up being its own little thought bubble that's valuable on this topic. But if you don't let the people have the conversation, then it's just one person swooping in and going, No, no, this is right, I'd rather see the conversation happened. But it can be difficult coming in from the outside to pick through all that information and come out with a good stuff. But that really is the key. Because once you can cherry pick from people, then you've got a real full understanding of what diabetes is about.

Kyle Kondoff 21:46
So I hear exactly what you're saying, I think the important thing is definitely do your research. Because it took me about a year after diagnosis to figure out exactly where I am. Now. I'm gonna say a cuss word in the diabetic community. And that's Dr. Bernstein and low carb. And that's what I follow. But you know what Dave, people that aspect of that's a customer that's that's a bad thing we don't want to listen to that is the attitude of other people. That is to to his followers attitude of very few people that just ruined it for everybody else. I'm talking about people that I've heard that whenever I started mentioning it in a Facebook group, somebody said, Oh, you don't know what you're talking about. or we don't want to hear that that's not part of this group, or, you know, I've been kicked out on Facebook groups because of stuff like that. And that's because other people have taken whenever somebody posted that it's their birthday, and here's a birthday cake, or, you know, whatever it is, they put up a picture of an amputated toe. And they just call people names, and they say you're killing your kids, and you're doing all this kinds of stuff. It's, I mean, I'm not gonna get into politics, I'm not gonna get into religion. But this is exactly what the problem is with social media is the fact that we're just criticizing something that somebody is doing. And we're not providing a solution. You just keep on name calling and everything, we learned this, this kid sticks and stones may break my bones. But words can never hurt me, well, then everybody gets hurt on social media because of the things that they say, and we get kicked out of Facebook groups. But then you give people like me, other people that are doing this a bad name. And the message doesn't get out. I mean, I don't have all the followers that some of the other people have on Instagram, and I'm fine with that. I'm not trying to be super high up there in the diabetic community. But at the same time, I want some of the information that I'm putting out there that some of the other people are putting out there that's working for us to get out. Like you said, I don't want somebody to copy me for everything. And when I first started, people were asking me, you know, what is your correction factor? What's this, I'm not going to give you my numbers, because I may have somebody that goes on there and thinks, Oh, well, that needs to be my correction factor. And that's an issue, because we're not all the same. So our bodies react differently to foods, our bodies react differently to insulin, we react differently, to all kinds of things, I mean, 42 factors that affect blood sugar, I'd argue there's a couple more, let me tell you what, whenever I drink coffee, my blood sugar spikes, I cover it with insulin, whenever I go on a fire, then my blood sugar spikes because of adrenaline, so I gotta not necessarily cover it with insulin, because after the fire, I'll start to come down a little bit. But no matter what we have to figure out what works for us. And it's going to take time overall, like I said, coming in there as a probie. You know, just on day one, you're not going to expect Now, don't get me wrong, as a firefighter, if you come in at 6am for your shift, and we have a call at 605 everybody's gonna be watching your back, and you still have to go on the fire. But that's not quite the way it isn't diabetes, we're not going to just throw you to the wolves and then say, you handle it. We're not even going to give you any advice. You know, there's people out there that you can cherry pick what that information is, but also there's people out there that are just doing bad for the diabetes. community and it's unfortunate it really is because some of the good information doesn't get out there. And some of the bad information gets spread a little bit more to people. And people realize that this is a disease, and I'm just gonna have to live with the highs and the lows and just be miserable all my life. I mean, we don't have to be miserable all the time, we can make adjustments over time. And I know you've proven that you don't have to live a low carb life, you don't have to do whatever you let art and eat whatever she wants to eat. And I know people like Matt Silvio who eats 300 to 600 grams of carbs a day, compared to my 30 grams of carbs a day. And he has an agency and daily graphs that look pretty equal to mine. So there's more than one way to skin a cat, right. And I think that we all have to realize that you have to find what's best for us.

Scott Benner 25:44
So how, I mean, I've been at this quite a while. And it's given me some context for life in general, not just around diabetes. But in social media, in general, is a very small percentage of people. Most people walking the planet are not on Facebook, at all the time like it, listen, they might have a Facebook account, but they're not living on Facebook, I could post something on Facebook right now. And I could with some reasonable assure surety write down the name of the first 10 people I think will like the post. So they're just always there. Or they have it set up so that every time somebody says something, they see it, you know, and when you get caught in a conversation about Ybarra coffee, it gets a great example, right? You drink coffee, your blood sugar goes up, someone else says I drink coffee, it doesn't touch my blood sugar. There's more people that are still don't see the causation between coffee and blood sugar at all, because it doesn't have carbs in it. Nobody ever brought it up to them. So they never pay attention to it, they might live their whole life. Just thinking, you know, my blood sugar gets high every morning around 1030 craziest thing, and never see the connection to, you know, a drink or anything like that. And so when you bring all these people together, the one thing that they lack is the knowledge about how to talk to a crowd, a crowd of people who all have varying realities. And so that's, to me, what ends up lacking in social media, because everyone gets a voice is that there's not one learned person who's kind of leading the way. And I could probably make an argument the other way that you need all these extra voices. And that's how you drag things forward. And it's true. But in the moment, like we're not trying to, I'm not trying to build a bridge 10 years from now, I'm hoping that the people who are listening can just be healthier today. And I'll come out and say I have no trouble saying, if you eat less carbs, you'll use less insulin, and you'll have less variability in your blood sugar. That's almost a short. You know, like, there's I don't know, anybody who can argue with the idea that fewer carbs in a person using insulin makes managing diabetes easier. That just is obvious. But then as soon as you say that out loud, someone hears you're telling me I can't have cake or whatever it ends up being right. And and right. And, and you are reasonable person, you're like, No, I'm not telling you I'm not having cake. I'm just telling you, Hey, this is how we this is how it works out for me. But then, like you said, some lunatic runs in and yells, you're going to lose a limb. And then there we go. And it turns out that in every faction, there's some lunatics and then they all start throwing, throwing Barb's at each other. And before you know it, the story is people online are crazy. When for a year and a half now, I've seen in the private Facebook group for this podcast, that that doesn't need to be true. I see people in there who are have all varying kinds of ideas about management, and I watch them all get along. And I don't know what that is. But I'm pleased about it. And, and that's it and there's no policing, like I don't like there's no What do I even call it monitor people who monitor the face? I don't have that. admin.

Yeah, I don't have that. When anybody, you know, sometimes people will report a post or like this person, and I'll look at an hour ago, I don't know why you lie. Is this a problem? And I just I'm like, No, like I've maybe once or twice people are trying to, you know, pimp their business or something like that. And you're you stop them. But I don't get why adults can't have adult conversations coming from varying perspectives. But it's harder than it than it should be. But I don't think it's impossible. And I like to let the fights play out. I also think that's where Facebook groups go wrong in the defense of protecting one position. They'll like, no, we're not talking about this anymore. I'm like, Yes, and you're a bunch of adults, talk about it, fight with each other. You know, it's gonna stop and normally they don't fight and if they do like I Don't get it like I don't I had a person write me recently and said, I love your podcast. I love your Facebook group, I'm going to keep listening to the podcast, but I can't be in that Facebook group anymore. And I'm like, What happened? So there was one post. That was something political. And it was right around something that was going on in the country that was just a hotbed of thought. And people like they went back and forth about a little bit and I came in, I was like, Look, guys, keep it a diabetes, or like, we're gonna have to, I'm gonna close the the post op, and I let them go for a lot longer. And finally, I just was like, Alright, that's enough. And you close it, and it just kind of drifts away on the Facebook page. But I thought to myself, like, wow, this page has been very valuable for this person for their health. And in one year, there's one conversation that gets political. And that's it for you, you're done. Like, just don't look at that. You know, like, I don't even get that and I'm not I don't understand how somebody can't just not look at something that makes them upset. I don't look at things that make me upset. Seems reasonable for me to avoid stuff like that. But anyway, I, you know, I'm with you. Like I really am I however people want to eat is how they want to eat. I've always come from the perspective of you should know how to use insulin so that however you choose to eat, you can manage your diabetes, because no one deserves to have crazy like, high or low or crashing blood sugar's just because they don't want to eat low carb or they were they do want to eat low carb, but you could eat low carb and not know how to use your insulin and still be in trouble. So you know, it's to me it's about using insulin. What but So, let's go backwards for a second. Tell me a little bit about when you were diagnosed. How old were you? 2227 27 excuse me and how did it come on? Gee vo hypo pan has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is chivo hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about. All you have to do is go to G Volk glucagon.com Ford slash juicebox. Je Vogue shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit je Vogue glucagon.com slash risk.

When your doctor handed you a blood glucose meter, did you say to them, is this a good one? Or did you just think I don't know anything about this, I just got diabetes and doctor has given me a blood glucose meter, then all of a sudden, this is your meter. Before you know it, you're buying replacement test strips. You're not even wondering if the meter is any good. You just think well, this is my meter. But they make meters. A lot of different ones. Some of them are better than others. This one a Contour. Next One blood glucose meter is really really good, Tandy. As a matter of fact, it's handy. As a matter of fact, it's easy to hold and easy to use, it has Second Chance test strips so you don't ruin a test strip if you hit some blood, but don't get enough. And it doesn't really need that much blood. Plus, it's super duper accurate. That's not a technical term, but it is super duper accurate. Once you check it out, it's possible you'll be eligible for a free meter. They have a test CHIP program. There's a lot of things to learn at Contour Next One comm forward slash juice box. But the one thing I'm here to tell you is that the Contour Next One is an accurate, easy to use easy to see at night. meter that you can use either by itself or with a connected app on your phone to keep track of your doings your goings on your tests and stuff, your data you understand. Contour Next One, forward slash juicebox. Don't just use the meter. Somebody handed you do some research. Get yourself a good one.

Kyle Kondoff 34:09
I was on the oil rig working in the confined space rescue team back in 2014. That's whenever I started the job. And during that time, unfortunately, we were also goes to Louisiana. And I mean, especially knowing what I know now, it was fried food, burgers, pizza, fried food, everything that was easy to make on an oil rig. And we had sodas and we had chips and we had candy bars and we had everything available. The one thing that I wasn't doing a lot of was drinking water, but I was drinking a lot of other stuff. So we would go down and we would work in well the construction guys would work in the hole we would be on the floating rigs with the columns and we would go down into those columns. 250 feet. Well, long story short, there wasn't a bathroom down there. We figured out alternative. And I was going to the bathroom a whole lot more than everybody else. Everybody was taking their snack bags or taking their drink bags. And it was kind of a community drink bag. And at some point, I started taking my own drink bag down. And I had a lot of drinks. And I had a lot of Gatorade, and I had a lot of soda, and I had very few waters. And I would start to run out of things to fill up whenever I'd have to go to the bathroom, because we'd be down in that hole for either four to eight hours, depending on the work day. And I didn't realize it at the time. But I was also having blurry vision that was associated with diabetes. We attributed it because everybody was kind of having headaches and stuff like that, to the welding machines to the carbon monoxide to everything else, you know, that was going on on the rig. And I was taking Nexium for

acid reflux. And the side effect of that is dry mouth. So I'm drinking a lot. So whenever you drink a lot, you have to go to the bathroom a lot. So everything was attributed to something else that was happening. Fast forward to 2016. And I had to have 36 hours of blurry vision. I was working in a hospital at the time. And I mentioned it to one of the nurses I had had blurry vision off and on. And she said you might be diabetic. I said, there's no way. So the next day I went out and my fiance at the time. Now my wife, we were planning our wedding and going to some flea markets and picking stuff up. And I said, Man, that microphone is really blurry. And my wife wears glasses. And she said, What microphone? Now? I was like, Okay, I guess my visions are right. And so later on in the day, we had Sonic and I started feeling not so good. And my vision stayed blurry. And I said, You know what, maybe we should go to the store and buy a meter. So we went to the first store and unfortunately, that's hv here locally, it was the pharmacy was already closed. They require a booth to buy from the pharmacy, not over the counter. And so I had to go to CVS, Walgreens and buy a meter there. And the first check I did in the car said 394. So I texted one of my nurse friends from work and she said, What did you eat? 30 minutes to an hour ago, we had Sonic I had this whatever. And it's funny because the lack of education for diabetes, I don't blame it on her. I blame it on the system in general. She kind of said, Well, you know, wait, another 30 minutes to an hour and check again. Because at that time at 394, obviously on diabetic or pre diabetics, something's going on, because it's not going to be over 200 realistically. And so I checked again, 30 minutes, and it was 402. So I looked at my wife and said, We got to go to the hospital. So we went to the hospital. And they looked at me and said, Oh yeah, you're type two diabetic, we'll give you know two things are fluid to iv boluses. And follow up in your PCP. Oh, here's a prescription for Metformin. 160 pounds soaking wet at 27 years old. And now I'm diagnosed with Type two diabetic. I go to my doctor, unfortunately, my doctor was on vacation. So I saw his colleague, and he said, Oh, ya know, anybody can be diagnosed type two, any age, any size, whatever, it doesn't matter. And, of course at that doctor, it wasn't an endo It was a PCP so they're looking at not Lada they're looking at type two, they're not looking at anything else. Modi, any other kind of diabetes, just diagnosing type two. So they said check your blood sugar once a day, keep on taking Metformin, I'm checking in the morning, for about three weeks, I was having high, two hundreds, low three hundreds every single time I checked, there was a couple times where I checked here and there throughout the day, but it still wasn't even improving. And I said I've got to go back to the doctor, something's wrong. And I've been looking it up and you know, maybe I'm a type one diabetic. So what does the doctor my doctor was back he took one look at me and he said cow, there's no way you type two. We'll do some tests and check and make sure that you know you're type one. And obviously, ever since then I've been on the magical. I used to say magical drug but now it's a hormone. I know it's not even a drug because everybody else's body makes it but magical hormone called insulin and diagnosed type one at that time. So it was a little bit of a rough road for those three weeks. But it was even rougher. Obviously after that trying to figure out insulin and carbs and everything else. I went to some diabetic education classes and everything was thrown at me. And like I said it was about a year later it was right at the end of 2016 whenever I started lowering my carbs automatically because I had kind of already figured out the carbs were affecting my blood sugar, so many little bit less carbs and see what's happening. So So that was off of some diabetes group, stuff like that. And I started going under 100 grams of carbs. Then I saw somebody mentioned Dr. Bernstein. And it was spring break. That year whenever I had finished up his book, and we were going on a trip to Port Aransas, my family and a couple other families, and I was eating completely different from everybody else. And I took my food and I looked at my blood sugar, we went fishing that day. And I noticed that everything was kind of staying pretty steady. And I was actually pretty happy with the progress. And at that time, I was also getting on to the 670. So the big thing about the 670 was the auto mode. And I realized that auto mode wasn't for me after four days, because it just fluctuated my blood sugar like crazy. Now looking back, if I would have done it again, I would have stayed on at least a week, maybe you know, close to a month. Obviously, my blood sugar still would have fluctuated, but it took a little bit of time for the pump to adjust. And I stayed in manual mode, but it had suspend before low. And that rarely needed to turn on for me, because I set my low alarm to 75. So I kind of adjusted here and there. But ever since I switched over to low carb from that first a one C for almost four years now I've maintained the sub five a one C, and a lot of people want to know my grass, I kind of post a lot of that on social media. And they want to know you know how many lows I have and stuff like that. And the doctor assumed right away, that it was going to be that case that I was going to have a lot of lows and everything was going to be problem. But the thing is having a normal a Wednesday in the normal range of a non diabetic is possible. As a diabetic, we just have to take care of ourselves and we have to monitor with CGM. And by checking ourselves if we don't have those CGM multiple times a day and making sure we're not going low, and we can kind of stay within the normal range. It really is possible. I mean, it doesn't, again, doesn't have to be low carb as the answer just bowled with insulin, like you said. And I mean, honestly, I've listened to your podcast now for the last six months. And I started getting more bold with insulin in my head once these get a little bit better to there. So

Scott Benner 42:12
Kyle, my work. Kyle, am I gonna send you a one c into the mid fours? Is that what's the lowest I've ever had? Scott was a 4.2. Wow, that's amazing. Well, so I'm going to ask a question, but I'm not asking him for the reasons everybody else has said have you? Do you get low? Like with what frequency Do you have like an emergency low where you have to address it?

Kyle Kondoff 42:35
Emergency low, I would consider really below 55. And I hit that up about two to three times per month. But it is not dropping dramatically. Sometimes it's even. And I mean, I'll say it extend the heck out of my sensor. But last Dexcom sensor I got 23 days on so I extended it twice. And it was because my sensor was off. So it's not always because of an actual low. Sometimes it's the censors fault. But I've got my captain following me. I've got my wife following me. I've got some friends following me from around the country. And I also have my nightscout app and anybody can follow me and I show them you know, if you're interested, you can follow me you can see it but I explained the lows and say you can see that I'm not really going low that much throughout the day. So again, it is possible.

Scott Benner 43:24
No, no I can I believe it. I'm also going to tell you I don't think as few as you have, I don't think Arden has that many. And and my point is just that is that you are balancing your insulin against your needs. Bait and your needs are what they are because of how you eat and how you live your life. And that's no different than what Arden's doing. It's exactly the same thing that her body has needs based on her intake and her you know her activity and hormones and all the other things we meet that need with insulin you meet your need with insulin you create less need by putting in fewer carbs. And there's no doubt that that can definitely make more stability. Because then you're probably I'm guessing lower basil rate has more of a chance away from food and Bolus to keep you really low and stable. I How much do you weigh now? About 175? Can you tell me what your basil is? per hour?

Kyle Kondoff 44:24
Yeah, so it's point seven, five. And then in the early morning, I do have a dog phenomenon. So I have point eight five for that.

Scott Benner 44:32
I wish I would have guessed out loud because I was right around point eight in my mind based on your weight and your diet. But if you told me that same weight, and you just a just a standard, you know, practice of you know, I don't mix of things. I would have guessed more like 1.4 1.5 maybe ish, but because you're active, maybe you would end up at 1.3 or something like that, but but it's just it's faster. You're just making The need, there's a need, you're meeting it. And you're doing a great job, obviously. What kinds of things do you eat in the course of the day? I guess there's no more potato chip bags, the Pinto no more potato chip, but it was waterbottle. So I'm sorry, sir. Okay. I was trying to think like, you can't pay it back. I mean, you could but what do you do with it? I also I have about 1000 questions about what it's like to work down in the hole all day. But, but, but But first, just what's your what's your, like your meal planning like Now, how do you eat.

Kyle Kondoff 45:29
So most of the times, I actually skipped breakfast. But I've been getting more into the gym and stuff lately. So I've been trying to add more calories, trying to put on a little bit more muscle, so I'm trying to add more protein. So I've been doing some egg cups, because I was doing omelets before and I had like an omelet mix and stuff. I'm meal prep before where it gets really hard to cook at work sometimes, because the calls and stuff, microwaves my friend. And so I just chopped up some onions, tomatoes, peppers, stuff like that, and throw in some sausage, and kind of mix it mix up some eggs, use muffin tins and make some egg cups, about six of those for breakfast, sometimes a yogurt with it. And then for lunch, I use solo bread, or different kinds of low carb bread and make some sandwiches. I mean, I can do lettuce wraps. I can do things like that. But there's capabilities. And that's the other thing too is like low carb, and keto. There's plenty. I mean, this is like unfortunate to say it was the perfect time for me to become diabetic. And start into this lifestyle. Because there's so many things that have happened in the last five to 10 years for the low carb and diabetic community. I mean, Atkins was the thing years ago, a lot of people were doing it, but you still had to figure things out. And it wasn't so many products. And then of course, sugar alcohols weren't always good for you and stuff, or they just made you go to the bathroom all the time. But then you had all these keto products come out. And some of them are good, some are bad, don't get me wrong, a lot of things, say keto. And they still spike my blood sugar. And I'm like, Hey, guys, just so you know, this is not something you should use, because this is what we're trying to avoid. But do whatever you want. And then other times, it's like, I'm just a meat and veggies kind of guy. So I'll have a steak I'll have, you know, some salad, I'll have some chicken wings. I mean, it's just finding variety in there. Most of the time, we eat about 20 to 30 same meals in our lifetime, in a period of time as humans as a low carb keto guy, I've counted and it's about 15 to 20. So I really haven't missed that much stuff in there just eliminated a lot of the carbs. And a lot of the bad cards, I haven't eliminated the good cards. I mean, I've got plenty of veggies, I do have green leafy veggies all the time. So

Scott Benner 47:49
no, I listen, I got I'm trying to think if I was in the mind, maybe like early 20s and wanted to lose weight. And we I did Atkins to lose weight. And it worked terrific. You know, I mean, like I buy limited carbs from my diet, which ends up it's funny when you think about it, like they all have names. Now, I was saying this to I recorded with Susan about how she eats, it'll come out probably in a month or so from now, which will now confuse everybody because yours will come out after that. But and Susan's, she's, you know, very low carb person. And she, she meal preps really well. Like she just does a really good job of making these these new, like interesting meals, and that are low carb and everything. And, and, and I and I said to her, I was like, you know, we, we call everybody wants to call how they eat something like they wanted to have a title or belong to a group or a club or something like that. But in the meantime, if you eat if you if you eliminate carbs from your diet in America, you're basically eliminating, like rice and pasta and potatoes and you know, and things that come in a bag or a box, which then basically eliminates fructose and sugar and stuff like that just by proxy because you're not eating those things anymore. And what you're really saying is I'm eating more natural things that aren't wheat, and potatoes and rice. And I mean, obviously there's well, way more to it than that. But I mean eating keto, but does that really mean you don't mean? Like, like, I'm low carb, but does that really just it's just you're just eating certain things. And a lot of the things you're eliminating, honestly are, I think are things nobody should be eating to begin with. I yeah, you know, so I have a basic idea about food that it should be able to, within a couple of ingredients break down into things that are obvious and identifiable. That's just sort of how I think about food. You know, I don't eat low carb, but if I make a pizza for myself, I can see that I have flour, salt water, there's a little bit of cheese, there's some tomatoes, there's some garlic, and you know, I don't know, maybe I'll put a sausage on top of it. At least those are the things like the only mean like you start looking at bags, the things that have 50 things inside of them. I think that's when Really get in trouble, not about blood sugars, but more around health in general. It's just that that just seems to make sense to me. You know, and people have said a different ways throughout time like you should be able to pronounce things your eating is one way they used to talk about it. I think it's amazing. How long have you been eating like this? This has been coming up on for years and years, is never once called, Please be honest with me never wants it, you think to yourself, I really wish I could eat. Like there's not something you miss.

Kyle Kondoff 50:31
You know, honestly, whenever I think about something that I miss, I kind of find alternative ways to make it. And that's what I was getting. Whenever I talk about products and stuff. There's low carb donuts, there's plenty of low carb cakes out there, we can make them fresh. There's box ingredients now with swerve and different types of stuff like that. They just had dunkin donuts. And Shipley the last two days at the Firehouse. And I didn't crave them at all, there's a certain amount of time to that our bodies adjust whenever we go low carb and keto that it takes time for you to get rid of the sugar craving. And most of the time, it's close to two months. But after that, you just you kind of lose the cravings. And sometimes whenever you look at certain things, almost makes you want to get sick, because you're like, oh, that doesn't even sound like it tastes good anymore. It's just it's too sweet. I'll tell

Scott Benner 51:20
you as I approach 50, I can I can say for certain that stuff like that, like cookies and cakes and things like that, I don't really I would not, I'm not interested in them with a frequency that I would have been at a younger person. And I don't even know if I was interested back then. Or if I was just kind of broke. And so I grew up in that like, eating at convenience stores on my way to work kind of vibe, you know, like that kind of thing. Nobody was really cooking or prepping meals or anything like that. And I wonder too, if people realize that as you get older, you sort of don't you're not as hungry to begin with. I don't know if that, you know, they just are like, yeah, I think I just like I really do wish I used to say this all the time. But I really do wish eating was like at the beginning of the Jetsons where they all sit down and eat that that little pill, they cut it in half and eat it, you know what I mean? And then they're okay. But there's part of me that just wishes food was like, but, you know, I just don't, I don't know that you realize that. You're not gonna, if you're eating a doughnut right now, and you're 35 like, you're not going to be eating a doughnut, when you're 55 for one reason, or the other, your liver is going to start getting fat and your doctors gonna tell you to stop or you're gonna, you know, start gaining weight, you're gonna wish i got i gotta stop. Like, it's not, it's not a sustainable way to eat forever, for certain, but at the same time, I have had some really good times eating that food in the middle here. So I don't know, like I think of it as a personal choice. I think of all this as personal choices. I just wish people had all the knowledge they needed to make the choice, because in general, we just grow up eating whatever somebody puts in front of us. And then that becomes a thing. I mean, you listen to you, you're down in the hole working, it sounds like you were eating like out of a garbage can almost right, like, and how old were you at that point? That was 2025 26 you don't get diabetes, you think you ever changed the way you eat?

Kyle Kondoff 53:15
You know, that's a hard question. Because I've actually thought about it plenty of times you're mentioning, you know, whenever we were eating that stuff, there's actually a picture whenever I was volunteering, of the guys taking a picture of me whenever we came back from Sam's Club, I was staying at the Firehouse of time, I had lost my grandpa a couple months before. And so I was kind of living at the Firehouse and I picked up one of the Sam's Club thing of donuts, I picked up two loaves of bread. I picked up a cheese ball and a cake and a couple other things. I think only one thing in there was not major carbs, I might have had lunch meat in there, you know for the sandwiches. But no matter what it was just like, this is what I used to eat. And I'd share that video, that photo on social media and stuff during National Diabetes Awareness Month talk about you know, so my whole lifestyle, but it honestly diabetes made me healthier. And it's weird to say that but in a way I think even eating higher carb or anything like that. It makes us more conscious of our life, love our choices and everything. Because before that I was just going through life. And whenever I was in college, I was kind of doing the same thing you were doing. I mean, I'd pick up subway and hey, they had the, the three for five or three for $15 whatever was on Sundays and now like every Sunday I'd be going to subway pick those up. And I'd be eating ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese and you know, we'd have all kinds of things that was the poor foods, I guess, you know, people kind of call them but it was more convenient as we were in college and doing things and even now, my sister in law lives with us and she's 19 my wife talked about it the other day, but she's kind of just eating out convenience eating potato chips, not so much eating meals. It's kind of the way that we did things. I mean something People focus a little more on some of the other extracurricular activities during college and are drinking a little bit more than what they're eating. But still, it wasn't a priority. And we kind of figured that out later in life. And so diabetes just made me healthier in a different way. But you know, it's interesting, something I'm starting to add people don't look at sorry. It's something that people don't look at is some of the positives of diabetes.

Scott Benner 55:24
Right? Well, I'm certainly making no judgments, because I'm not the pillar of health. But I think it's pretty obvious that your body is a machine, and you're feeding it right. And if you don't have anything like type one, then basically you're putting stuff into your machine, some of it's great for your body processes it fine and some of it, it can't, and it does its best to not let you kill it, you know what I mean? Like, that's all your body's doing is it's trying to stay alive as long as it can. And you some decisions you make as the person who put stuff inside of that body, those decisions are great, and some of them aren't. And some of them you don't even realize aren't like little things like different, like processed oils that you really shouldn't be taking in that you're that you take in in food and don't realize how much you're doing. It's you put that in there, it bogs your body down, your body's trying its hardest not to shut off. So it's it's dealing with dealing with it dealing with it, it's the theory eating your body more quickly than it then your body should be deteriorating. And when you get type one diabetes, now all of a sudden, it just becomes more obvious, because there's this one process that your body used to do to try to stop you from dying, that it can't do anymore. And now you're doing it. So you become very hyper aware of it the impact that food has on on your blood sugar. It's just it's the amount of people who end up saying that they think they're healthier because they have type one than they were before. Never, never fails to not shock me but but it never fails to happen is people are like, Oh, you know, now that I'm aware of what's happening, you know, and what I take that as is now that my body's not covering for my, my decisions. And I and I know what they are more frequently. That's it like and don't get me wrong, like I you know, I don't particularly love cereal as a good example. Things that you hear people say a lot like, Oh, I want to learn how to Bolus for cereal. I know how to Bolus Arden for cereal. I've worn a CGM and eaten cereal. And to be honest, my blood sugar didn't go up that far. But that's not the measure of health that my blood sugar didn't go up. That's just the measure of how well my pancreas works. So I hadn't had cereal in a very long time. And I was wearing a CGM around Christmas and I ate it for people. I was like, Alright, here, I'll eat a bunch of cereal. And when I got done, there was a little left in the box. And then the broke part of me like the kid that grew up broke was like, You can't throw that away. Because you paid for it. Which is ridiculous. Because the best thing I could have done for myself was throw it you know, but I was like, oh, it didn't make my blood sugar drop that much. I'll eat it. And I started clearing the things out of the house that I bought to show people while I was eating on a CGM. And I gained like four pounds getting rid of all that stuff like so that people could see my CGM for 10 days in December, I gained like eight pounds. And that's that's no joke. So and don't get me wrong. Like every day, I was like, here, I'm gonna eat a bowl of cereal, which was something that I don't do. And then I was like, Alright, let me get a bag of candy and potato chips and show you what a bag of candy and potato chips do at the same time. The part you didn't hear is that at the end of it, I was like, Oh, I feel terrible. Like I yeah, I felt hard. You know,

Kyle Kondoff 58:31
I actually saw you doing that. It seemed like some people were trying to live vicariously

Scott Benner 58:36
through you like, Hey, you did? There were a number of type ones that were like, can you please eat this for me? Right? Like I ordered a pizza because somebody online asked me to so and, and no lie, the first two slices of pizza my body dealt with. And I was okay. But when I gave it the third slice that my blood sugar got pushed up. And it stayed there for hours after that now, you know, pushed up it was I think in the 160s if I'm remembering correctly, but still higher than my body wanted it to be. Because I could feel it like I got a little tired. I didn't feel so great. You know, like my, you know, my visit to the bathroom. The next day was not as exciting as it could have been. You know, like my body was just not, like ready for all that cheese and the flour and I got a little heartburn from the sauce because I'm old, you know. So there was a lot of interesting things that happen. And don't you think though, that, that that's part of it is when you're being diagnosed, and someone says, here are the things you can't eat anymore. It feels like somebody's stealing something from you, like forget all the actual health benefits for a second, I feel like somebody is taking something from you. So when you're like I think I could figure this out with insulin. I always sort of hope that the people transition this way that they feel like something's being taken from them. They figure out how they can stop that from happening. And to me I think of that as using insulin well but then I Least hope that there's a third act where they go. Alright, well, now that I know how to Bolus for cereal, I'm still not going to eat it as much because I do see the impact it has, and it can't be good for me. I mean, there are just some foods that I mean, it's clear from me watching Arden's blood sugar that your body does not want inside of it. You know, like, that just seems obvious to me. But I don't know. Anyway.

Kyle Kondoff 1:00:22
Yeah, you're exactly what you're saying. Because I think that's all a mindset to is having the knowledge, whether it be a CGM, whether it be poking your finger and everything. But obviously, CGM is much more beneficial because you see it every five minutes, some people don't have that luxury. And that's what's frustrating is the fact that, you know, the, the technology is out there, it's not accessible for everybody. But the knowledge for all that technology is, is not completely out there for the rest of the world for the insurance companies for people like that, because it would be beneficial for like you did for non diabetics to wear this. And I see spouses and other kids and stuff like that on social media, whenever the diabetics or their loved ones, put them on the non diabetics, and they see what it does. Your trial is not the first one. But it's just it's kind of interesting to see the correlation between that. And at the same time, we're thinking about, well, yes, it's genetics. Yes, it's some other stuff. But type two diabetes is further down the road. And we don't want to keep on killing our insulin, making ourselves more insulin resistant over time, and get that type two. So like you said, there's things that our body doesn't want us to eat, that stuff could possibly lead to that in the future. And that's where it comes into play that, you know, whenever non diabetics say, Well, I can't eat that. I mean, yes, you can. Is it going to hurt you in the long run? Nobody knows. We can't tell you. It's kind of unfortunately, it's like what's going on in the country right now? We don't know long term effects of Corona with people. And so it's a wait and see kind of game for these people. And I mean, I don't know, you don't

Scott Benner 1:02:02
want to wake up 15 years from now be growing a horn out of the middle of your forehead is pretty much the point do you don't want something that's not supposed to happen to you to happen to you? Look, I'll be completely honest with you. I haven't been to a fast food restaurant. Since whenever the first time it was that I heard that one of them used some form of silicone in their french fries to keep them something. And I was like, wait, what's that now? And you don't like and I don't remember. I think the company then came out and said, Oh, it's not silicone. It's this. And then when you hear them equivocating about it, you're like, well, I don't think I care if it's actually silicone or derivative of something. How about I don't want to eat that. Like, I won't use nonstick spray on a pan. Like, I just I look at it. I'm like, What is in there? Like, why would I like you know what I mean? Like, it's weird, you'd spray it on a pan would just spray it right in your mouth. No interesting. It's like when you deep fry something, and you start with and don't get me wrong, I just made potato chips recently. They were amazing. But um, you start with five cups of peanut oil. And when you're done, there's three cups of peanut oil in the pan. That means that two cups of the peanut oil is now in the potato chips. So I mean, some of that burned off, but you eat a handful potato chips, you're also eating the oil that it was cooked in. Or you know, and I don't know, there's just something about that. I didn't grow up that way. And it's been a learning process for me. And I don't always win the fight. But I try very hard not to eat something it comes out of a package that's not bagged or boxed or frozen. I just if I'm going to eat something that's not good for me, I'd rather just be ice cream. When I can look at the label and go that's milk and sugar and chocolate. At least it's bad for me and I know what I'm eating it because you don't know what's going to happen later. And I would especially think this sticks in the back of my head sometimes too is you know, there's autoimmune in my family. My daughter has type one. She has hypothyroidism. My wife has hypothyroidism. By the time this comes out, I think I'll be comfortable saying my son was just diagnosed with hashimotos. He's 21 years old and the picture of health. I mean, he is he's a college athlete. And suddenly, recently, he just broke out in hives out of nowhere. And it took a little bit of investigation to find out that he has hashimotos so now he's been on medication for that for I just think that when your body's already, like looking at you going, I wonder what I could get next. Probably don't eat silicone, I guess is my point. I don't know I just try to put yourself on the right side of the fight at the very least give yourself a shot. You know, having said that, I really believe that if you have type one diabetes, any way you want to eat is up to you. I just hope you really understand how to use your insulin because I don't want to see you have that struggle on top of everything else. How do we do today? What do you think?

Kyle Kondoff 1:04:57
I think we did get I think we get by Other good topics.

Scott Benner 1:05:01
I thought we had a nice conversation I really did. I appreciate you doing this, I appreciate you being interested in, in coming on. And if there's anything I missed, now's the time.

Kyle Kondoff 1:05:14
You know, the one thing that I put on social media and it's funny is I tried to be positive about stuff. And lately, it's been a struggle for people to be positive and a lot of things going on. But I kind of mentioned that earlier, look at the positives of diabetes, look at the positive of life. But I always end with this. There's no such thing as a perfect diabetic, I always put up graphs I put on my a onesies, there's good days and bad days. I mean, I'm up there in the two hundreds, maybe three times during that three months, but I'm still down there, low. And there's difficult days, there's good days and bad days for all of us. But there's no such thing as a perfect diabetic. So just don't let anybody judge you on anything that you're doing. And don't focus so much on what everybody else is doing. The only thing we can do is try to beat the person that we were the day before. Well, I agree. And

Scott Benner 1:06:05
I try to remember as well to do the same thing like look, here's the rise Arden had are actually at some point, we've been transitioning Arden onto a birth control pill to try to manage her her periods were coming like really crazy, like she would bleed for like 11 days and then get a five day break and then it would start again. Like it was just insane and it would just keep going on and on it was kid was killing her it was like she was it was like she was just like she was a vampires like buffet line or something like that. It just she couldn't rebound, there was no time to rebound inside. So we tried birth control, the first two months weren't enough of a strength, it was harder for her blood sugar. This is we're in the middle of a third month now with a stronger pill, it's starting to regulate itself. But her blood sugars over the last three months have been incredibly difficult to manage. And so in my world, that means she's going to be more like a six than a five and a half. And that we that she spent more time over 140 than normal, and that there was a lot more insulin used. But it was a fight. And I just always when I'm in the middle of that fight. And I'm trying to imagine how one day I'll talk about on the podcast. I just want people to remember that that stuff like that happens to everyone. But when you come at it with the regular amount of insulin that you always use in every other situation, whether that's because you're leaving a honeymoon or you're having a hormone thing or a growth spurt or whatever, you're gonna lose. If I didn't aggressively go after these last three months. Arden's a once he easily would have been eight and a half. If I would have tried to use the amount of insulin I was using prior to these three months for her. There's no way or a once he wouldn't be a half, but I'll keep it under six. But it's it's with a lot of being flexible and adjusting and things like that. So I hope people remember that.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue glucagon, find out more about chivo hypo Penn at GE Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, you spell that GVOKEGL Uc ag o n.com. forward slash juicebox. I'd also like to thank Kyle for coming on the show and doing such an amazing job. And while we're at it, and we're thanking folks, thanks to the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for being super duper accurate, supporting the show and making just good stuff. Check it out at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox.

I do not know how the 1980s radio guys like modulated their voice all the time and talk like this, it seems really difficult. Anyway, thanks so much for listening. And I really appreciate that you appreciate the show that you're listening to it, that you're downloading it that you're subscribing or following in your podcast app that you're telling friends, generally speaking, I really appreciate you. I'll be back soon with another episode of the Juicebox Podcast.

#545 After Dark: Eating Disorder

ADULT TOPIC WARNING. Today's guest is an adult type 1 who will discuss an eating disorder.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 545 of the Juicebox Podcast.

My guest today is Aryssah. She was diagnosed at age 19 while away at University, where she also developed what she calls a very specific type of eating disorder. Today, she's going to tell your story, which includes all the details. And that's why this is an after dark episode. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

If you believe that you have an eating disorder, please tell your physician, a loved one friend, or go right to Google, and just search for diabetes eating disorder, you'll see a ton of different places where you can get help.

There are many other afterdark episodes within the Juicebox Podcast at the end of this episode, I will list them for you and tell you where you can find them.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. It is also sponsored today by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod promise, which I'll tell you more about later in the show. To get started with Omni pod where to find out if you're eligible for the free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash, head over to Omni pod.com forward slash juice box.

Aryssah 2:00
My name is Aryssah. I'm 31. And I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes at 19 1912

Scott Benner 2:07
years ago.

Aryssah 2:10
Yes. My diabetic anniversary is coming up on June 26. And it happened to be the same day that Michael Jackson died. And I remember talking to friends and family and saying oh, you know, I was I was diagnosed with diabetes. And they're like, Yeah, but you know, Pipe down. Michael Jackson just died. Well, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Scott Benner 2:28
Really, this is the thing it lightheartedly, but yeah, that's kind of how it came across. But you're a little older too, right? So it's not like you're like you were eight and somebody is telling you look, we'll deal with your thing tomorrow. Okay, well, but Billie Jean, is that so?

Aryssah 2:45
Right, I guess. And truly Scott. I mean, that's part of what makes it challenging is you're very right that I was diagnosed at 19, where I'm not necessarily a kid anymore. However, if I had been diagnosed, say three months prior, when I was still 18, I would have gotten much more support than what I experienced. And it's strictly because I was deemed as an adult by the government, if that makes sense.

Scott Benner 3:09
So were you not on your parent's insurance at that point.

Aryssah 3:13
So being Canadian, had nothing to do with insurance Truly, I have fairly decent health care, which I'm very thankful to have and to live where I live, it was more so I guess the support that I received, I very much felt when I left my diabetes education center, there very well could have been a therapist lined up for me there very well could have been a specialized dietician to cook with me, or maybe even an endocrinologist that didn't make me feel like I was just a number. And I think when you're a child and you're diagnosed, your family probably gets more involved. You're much more close, closely examined, and I felt that I kind of got the short end of the stick. Don't get me wrong, there's no good time to be diagnosed with diabetes. But to be 19, where you just missed that CUSP. It took me a longer time to take care of myself and I through therapy and through work that I've done internally to see hey, you know, I just I wasn't set up for success, as most people would have been if they were diagnosed prior to 18. So a couple of questions.

Scott Benner 4:14
Was it just that? Did your family treat you that way? Like, oh, she's an adult, she can handle it?

Aryssah 4:19
Kind of Yeah. And I'm an only child Scott, too. So I feel like my family always puts me on this pedestal of, you know, hey, Marissa has it, she's good. And I think they didn't really seem to understand and nothing against them. They're very supportive, and I love my family, but they knew something was wrong with my body. But I wish they knew that there was something wrong in my mind as well from the diagnosis and from the support. I wasn't getting medically

Scott Benner 4:45
prior to type one. Did you feel like that in your mind, are you It came directly from the diabetes?

Aryssah 4:50
No, it came directly from the diabetes part of my diagnosis. I mean, it was very fit and sporty and prior to being diagnosed, I took very good care. To my body, and it was pretty healthy. And when all of a sudden you start losing weight, you're thinking, Oh, hey, maybe the gym is working. Hey, maybe, you know, those, those extra bootcamp classes that I'm participating in, are paying dividends now. Yeah. And you don't realize that, hey, there's something much, much deeper going on here that that needs to be taken care of.

Scott Benner 5:19
I wonder how much of it is, like expectations, you know, people talk about what age would be better to be diagnosed that and I've even kind of mused that, you know, Arden was so young. She doesn't have a recollection of not having diabetes, which I imagine is helpful to her, or at least to us talking to her. I wonder how At what age? Is it just like, well, life's been going on for a while now. Like you were 19. So you're probably thinking, but you're gonna start your beaver trapping business soon on your own and really start doing things.

Aryssah 5:50
Yeah, my own ugly building business? Well, yeah, no, you're you're, you're very right. You're very right. When you're, when you're at that age, I mean, I can remember a time where I didn't have to worry about pricking my finger, or didn't have to worry about, hey, how many carbs are in this meal? Right was art and or anyone else, I think the younger you are truly, the almost better you are because you don't realize that there's life outside of that.

Scott Benner 6:11
So you're old enough to be able to, you're old enough to go to a concert when you're 25. And remember going to a concert when you were 18. And you have this juxtaposition of what one was like and what was the other and what the other is like, but you're not alive long enough to really gain that kind of life experience perspective that would have helped you through any of this.

Aryssah 6:32
Mm hmm. And I think to your right, the life experience would maybe have set me up differently where, say at 31 now, and I mean, who knows, right? I know what this is 12 years later, at 31. Now, if I was diagnosed now, I think that perhaps I would be more mature about my decisions in terms of how I took care of myself. But when you're that young, and you're surrounded, but you're not even living at home, right, I was 19, I was away University, you're surrounded by your friends, and you're surrounded by you know, the pressures of being in school, you're not necessarily around a supportive environment already, you're already in an environment where you feel judged, or maybe you feel like you can't be your full self or you feel uncomfortable, because everyone's looking at you through a magnifying glass. If that makes sense. No,

Scott Benner 7:20
even and your peers are, are in the same situation age wise and perspective wise. So it's probably just like, Oh, isn't that sad? She has that thing. And they'll sit around with you for a little bit in your bed and like, you know, and then they leave. And that's not real support. It's just, it's a 19 year old hanging out with you for a while because they feel bad about what happened to you. Right? Not like not not a person who in supports an interesting thing, isn't it? That it's it's sort of this quiet understanding that someone's there, it's not so much saying something, or doing something, it's that it's that idea that there's a rock solid person at your disposal? Should you need them. Like, I feel like that's more what support is. Because when you really think about life, like nobody really runs around doing things for other people. You don't mean like, it's more just like, you know, there's somebody there, that's, you know, it's more than got your back they, they actually could come through, if something happened. It's

Aryssah 8:17
right. And I think if I'm reflecting accurately at the time to Scott, I don't even I think I liked that no one really understood it. Because at the time in University, where I wasn't necessarily taking care of myself the way that I should have, I didn't want people to know what I was doing in terms of how I wasn't taking care of myself. So for example, if I went out to eat, I maybe wouldn't inject or wouldn't check my blood sugar, I would just eat because I didn't get the support that I needed when I left that Diabetes Education Center and turned into truly an eating disorder. However, if people around me had known that would have made me obviously fix a problem a little bit sooner would make me feel more self conscious, I probably would have been more active and trying to make myself get healthy. But at the time, I liked that people around me Didn't know other than, hey, she has type one diabetes, they didn't really know what that meant.

Scott Benner 9:10
So path Oh, you had a path of least resistance because no one could hold you to account because nobody knew what though. Nobody knew how to hold you to account. That's excellent. And excellent. It's, it's interesting. I'm sorry. And you did you want to do better and didn't have tools? Or were you truly trying to ignore it?

Aryssah 9:32
I think it went back and forth. Scott, I think every night I would kind of think to myself, Hey, you know what, this, this can't go on any longer. I you want to be healthy? Why aren't you Why aren't you able to do this? But I think in the moment I again would just do things that we're very self harming. Where I mean, my hospital fault folder is larger than I care to admit, where I would have doctors come in and make me feel judged in a way to Scott and I think that's something really Important where instead if a doctor came in and I felt included or I felt that they heard me, I could have maybe had this feeling to turn turn things around sooner. But again, being 19, late University meal support, probably uncomfortable with your body a little bit at that time to where I feel most diabetics might feel this where Hey, okay, you've, you've lost all this, this weight, I probably lost about 20 pounds. And by no mean was i was i overweight or anything I was quite skinny. But you remember how thin you felt? And you have people tell you, hey, you look great. Like what's going on, they don't realize that, you know, underneath, you were very not healthy. Although it comes across like you've been, you know, working out or eating better. So I think when you get those compliments, too, it messes with your own head a little bit to say, Oh, well, Hey, remember everyone complimented you at that time saying how great you looked? Right. But that was when you were the most sick you've ever been?

Scott Benner 10:53
Yeah, it's it's I can see the double edged sword where it's not like you had math teeth. It's not. And they were, and they were going, Oh my God, your teeth are amazing. Like it was, you know, like, that doesn't happen, right? Because that was not something that people physically find appealing, generally, but you start getting a little more sculpted, or you know, your jaws a little more angular, whatever it ends up being, or people can just tell you look a little differently. That brings in compliments, even though even though the compliment they don't realize is Oh, you're wasting away and dying. You look amazing. So in the beginning of dying, we all apparently look great for a little bit like mine, you know, like, I don't know, like, that's an odd thing to think. But it is, is and then I see how it causes that problem for you. Because it's this mixed message. And you are the only one that knows the truth. While they're all saying it.

Aryssah 11:44
Exactly. And I mean I true therapy and things now in my 30s Of course, I talk to my friends or my family or my partner about it now too. But I can't imagine Scott Looking back, I can't understand how I was able to go that long of not taking care of myself of injecting sure but a minimal amount and not checking my blood sugar and thinking to myself, hey, well, you know, you're going to be able to throw up later, anything that you would have eaten that was high and high in carbs. So don't worry about it, not realizing that, hey, when you throw up, that's actually your body's way of telling you. You're you're going to diabetic ketoacidosis. Wow.

Scott Benner 12:21
So that was an that ended up being the process for you. You'd so what would you do? Were you you're injecting so you would would you do? Like a long acting insulin?

Aryssah 12:30
Yeah, exactly. So I would use I would use my long acting, I was on Levin Mir at the time. And I wouldn't necessarily inject them rapid my fast acting and I would eat whatever possible. It's sick to me to think now Hey, I used to keep a pop bottle of sprite by my bed to make myself go higher. But also keep in mind too, when you're when you're that high up all the time, and you're thirsty all the time you get more thirsty. So I think it really created this kind of vicious cycle where you crave sugar, because your highest highest highest can viewer you're not even reading, you know the number anymore on your glucometer. But you would continuously crave that more. So I think now what I've realized being healthy for the past couple of years that, hey, if you're healthy, you crave being healthy. And if you're unhealthy, you crave being unhealthier. And it's very hard to get out of that cycle.

Scott Benner 13:23
I was wondering if I could ask you to kind of step out of this for a second and give me your opinion about talking about it. Because when I first started the podcast, people would come at me kind of privately and say you can't talk to people about how you manage type one diabetes, that's not something that anyone should do. Don't tell people that you're that your daughter's doing. Well, it makes other people feel badly. And I had a very strong feeling that you could be a beacon instead, like you could just say, look, look what's possible. You don't I mean, like, here's, here's the thing that's possible, and that people can't truly understand the scope of things until they can see the entirety of it the good, the bad, you know, the dark, the light, and then they have to be able to make a decision. Are you going to reach everybody and bring everybody to a place where they're a once he's in the mid fives and they're paying attention to their blood sugar's like No. Are some people gonna see a great graph and think and that make them feel poorly? Like maybe I don't know, but it just always seemed to me in the way I put it usually on the podcast is that you can't take a classroom with 20 people in it and teach to the to the least of the of the group, because you're you're robbing the rest of them from an opportunity to learn. But with this, like you just said something a minute ago, no one's ever said on the show before and we're going to get deeper into it. You said you kept scraped by your bed to make your blood sugar higher on purpose. So what do you think about explaining how this eating disorder works? Do you Do you worry that it'll, it'll be a how to for people?

Aryssah 15:04
Oh, not necessarily. And I would caution that, hey, if people consider it as a how to I'm also going to explain part two of the How to, which is it can get better. Okay. And you're very much right, Scott that sometimes I felt people would necessarily brag about their agency, but would kind of, Hey, you know, I'm it's 5.4. And you know, it's never been that low and it's in my own head, I'd be like, that's great, but I'm pretty sure minus 14 at this time. Now, thankfully, you know, it's much more normal range of seven and I serve, I swear, Scott, when that first happened, when I got those results, I could have cried, I just never thought to myself that I'd be able to see that. But now thankfully, to have those tools of adex common and Omni pod to set me up for that success. I didn't have either of those when I was first diagnosed. And you're very right, where, you know, I couldn't get some flack for this. And, and I, I understand why people would be upset or kind of look at it in a bit of a controversial way. But if anything, this needs to be more talked about this was this was an eating disorder and truly a bit of a mental mind game that I had put myself through because I didn't have that support. When you're 19, you're considered an adult, where if I had been diagnosed, as we talked about a couple months prior, I would have been taken to that Children's Hospital here in Toronto and had numerous resources thrown at me. But because I didn't, this is what could happen. So in terms of my goal, I want to be involved in some of these committees and boards that change those rules or those decisions. So that way, I can help those young adults post 18 to not experience what I did. Yeah,

Scott Benner 16:35
no, I think Listen, it be clear, from my perspective, I think what you're doing is really great. And it's brave. And I'm I'm I'm 100% behind it, which is why you're here. It don't thank you. It's just that when you, you know, it's funny, you were in the exact wrong position for a number of reasons that we've already gone over and you got dropped into diabetes almost like dropped into a race at a point where the race was already going. And you were not prepared to run it. And you were destined to lose the race when you were put into it. Right and and there are other people who have been put in that same situation who are in that dire place right now. And some of them are listening. And it just for me, I think that it's it's got to be better to face what this is. So that at least you can make an informed decision. Like if if a person is in right now listening in that situation, and they're still listening to me, that means they want to know, they want to know how to get out of their situation, if the if there's a possible path away from it, it if it just takes them makes them angry, and they run off to be mad about it somewhere to complain about it or something like that. That to me just means that they're in the wrong part of their race to hear the information. Not that the information is bad. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Aryssah 17:55
No, definitely. No, you're very right. And I think it's, it's amazing how your body can get used to things the body is a is incredible, where previously, if my blood sugar rised, I would just again, as we talked about crave more sugar, where if my blood sugar is high, now even the slightest I'm down for the count, but it's because I take care of myself. So whatever the body gets used to, if I'm consistently 2122, with my with my, like glucometer, which in Canada is obviously a little bit different than than the US so I apologize, but it still means high. It would, it wouldn't affect me. Now if I reach any levels that are out of you know, a consistent range, I feel so sick, and feel so lethargic in the same way I did when I was first diagnosed. But I don't know how I had a normal life and ran high all the time and still go to work and see my friends. And it. I'm assuming there are other people, I can't be the only one. I know I can't be the only one. But I also don't want those people to ever feel like they're alone. I really struggled. And I know you likely are too but talk to someone about it. Whether it be a parent, a friend, a counselor, it's not your fault. You were not set up for success, but it's not your fault.

Scott Benner 19:09
So we're gonna figure that out in a second. But very quickly Juicebox podcast.com. There's an A one C and blood glucose calculator if you're listening outside of the US and the numbers don't make sense to you. Look at me. Look at me, look how I'm able to do a good thing and drive traffic to my website. I feel really good about that. Also, by the way, I don't know if it's a conversation technique that you've picked up over the years. But after I speak you tell me I'm right. And I have to tell you, I love it. And my brain goes She didn't say you're right this time. I wonder she doesn't agree with that. I'm just kidding. I seriously, is that a conversation technique? Or is that? Do you actually mean it when you're saying it? I know I do agree.

Aryssah 19:54
I do agree with you, Scott. And sorry. I realized I just did it again there. No, no, no, don't be

Scott Benner 20:00
Don't be sorry, I feel a foot and a half taller since you and I have been talking. I'm about to charge down to the rest of my family when this is over and be like, I'm right. I'm just teasing. No, there's an affirmation thing in there that conversationally is great, it makes me want to keep talking. And I don't I've just been paying a lot of attention to people who hold great conversations lately. And that was, that was just that was really I was like, are she doing that on purpose? She learned that in the college and Canada's, are they teaching that up north or something? So okay, you just said it's not your fault, and that you weren't given the right tools. But why? It's obviously something psychological, but what I want to understand from you, if you took me outside right now and said, Scott, cut down this tree, you have to, it's very important that you do it, you've been tasked with it, you can't walk away from this task, the tree has to be cut down. Here's a screwdriver and a blender. I think I can't cut this tree down with a screwdriver and a blender. But I would never internalize that. I wouldn't stand there and think I'm such a, I'm such a mess. I can't get this tree cut down. The guy told me it was really important lives are at stake. Like, why does that happen? with medical stuff? Why does somebody asked you to cut down a tree with a screwdriver and a blender. And somehow that turns into I mess this up?

Aryssah 21:29
Right? And it can turn into you're very on point where it can be it's heavy on your self worth. And it's heavy on how you see yourself. However, I think that because if we're using this analogy, because you're telling me to cut down this tree, I also had people coming to me and saying, hey, that tree is beautiful. Hey, that tree seems really fit that tree seems really healthy. Why would you cut that down? Because that's essentially what everyone was telling me when I was skinny. Right? So internally, yes, I knew I was doing something wrong. I knew exactly what I was doing. But other people because they don't understand what's going on. We're still complimenting me. And we're still cheering Hey, you know, you look great. You know, that's all that cycling you'd be doing is really paying off. Yeah. And so it was very conflicting. Yes. Where I value myself to be a good person I value myself would always try to do the right thing. And with this, I know that I didn't. So it was a very hard struggle for me and again, through therapy to be able to talk about it and realize that but also see, as you were saying earlier, you know, it's not necessarily my fault that was dropped into that race halfway through without, without, you know, running shoes, if you want to phrase it that way.

Scott Benner 22:40
Is there an aspect of this, that it's because it's health related, that it strikes? Like, you're kind of psyche at the same time? Like, what? Do you see what I'm saying? Like, why? Why is it? Why is it that you and I'm not asking you understand what I'm saying? Like not you in any way? Why is it that somebody wouldn't just go Whoa, stop. You asked me to cut down the tree. He told me it was really important. You didn't give me any of the tools for this isn't my fault. Like why do why do people end up feeling internally bad? Is it because there's another piece, it's got to be that they know subconsciously or even consciously that they're, that they're limiting their health or shortening their life? Like there is that third wheel like third spoken this wheel that that's the reason why it internalizes but just in general, outside of this issue. It's fascinating to see how quickly people turn on themselves. Mm. Do you know what I mean? Like the like, look at all the things you were doing that were bad for you that I'm assuming you consciously knew weren't right. Okay, but yet you couldn't stop yourself.

Aryssah 23:51
Yeah. And I again, I would pray at night just saying, hey, tomorrow, eat healthy and take all your insulin, where any other diabetic would never have to consider to do that. But I think you're angry as well, that's probably a big part of you're frustrated. You have this invisible disease that people again, keep saying, Oh, you look great, where they don't understand how internally shameful, and how internally, this, this environment of solitude comes up as well, where no one really understands what you're going through, and I get it with diabetics. Overall. We all probably feel that at some point that Hey, no one understands what I'm going through. But specifically because I was hurting myself through the process. I really didn't have anyone who understood what I was going through. I do value the community now where I can talk to people about this, I can share this and maybe necessarily they haven't gone through the exact same experience, but maybe they felt that day were some time in their journey. They're like yeah, you know what I had, I had one day to where I didn't even bother injecting because I just felt so down on myself and I felt so frustrated. And you know to scarf from, you know, managing artists, there are some days you can do everything right? You do everything right. And still it all goes wrong. But I think on my instance, specifically to guys or girls, however, however anyone identifies by their gender, they have different experiences, too. So I've had guys who are gym goers say, Oh, you're so lucky, you get to take insulin and bulks you up, I've heard whereas girls would never want to be bulked up, you know, we're scrutinized for our bodies. So there's those different elements to it to have, hey, as a woman who's 19, who was feeling you know, you're you're going on dates, and you're, you know, going to bars for the first time because legal drinking age in Canada here is 19. Yeah, you fit you're in a different space where you are consistently being evaluated. I was also on a varsity sports team at the time to where, again, the the thinner you are, the more in shape you are, the more congratulated you are, the more you get to participate in races because you're, you're that caliber of athlete. So just lots of things that we're we're not positive.

Scott Benner 26:05
Did you say a minute ago that you felt ashamed of the diabetes or of your care of it?

Right now, in this moment, I can picture myself in the doctor's office with my daughter, as she was getting her first Dexcom CGM. I remember what we did on the way home and what we talked about and where we stopped for lunch. Remember the whole day? What I remember most is a feeling of relief. Because I just spent so many years not knowing what Arden's blood sugar was doing. I was just overwhelmed with the idea that now I would know, right? I would know what our blood sugar was. And if it was moving, or trying to go up or down, you know, and how fast was it doing that, it just all seemed surreal. In that moment, I didn't understand what was going to happen next. How seeing Arden's blood sugar in real time would inform my understanding of how to feed her and give her insulin. Well, now, today, you know, I'm a completely different person, due in large part to the data that comes back from ardens Dexcom g six. And I also think that it would be worth your time to find out more about it dexcom.com, forward slash juicebox. When you get there, you can do some reading, find out about any number of aspects of the Dexcom, I'll name a couple, you can share your data with up to 10 followers, you can see your data on your iPhone or an Android that's for the user and for the followers. I mean, there's alarms that you can set to tell you when you're leaving different ranges, how fast you're moving, these alarms can tell you so many things. Just it's astonishing. It's amazing. It's it is well worth your time, just to go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox and see if anything I'm saying to you resonates, it really may change your life. I'm going to stick with this theme and tell you about the first day that I saw on Omnipod. We were at my daughter's Children's Hospital at a pod at a pump fair, I bought a pod now but at a pump fair. And there it was the Omni pod, the only tubeless insulin pump in the room. So while I'm holding it and telling my wife Look how great this is, it's self contained. I bet you if they make improvements to it, they'll just happen like we won't even have to like, go back and get the next version. I didn't know what I was talking about back then. But I just kept thinking that the Omni pod looked thoughtful. It looks futuristic. It felt like it was on the cutting edge. So we went with it. And that was 13 years ago, ardent has been wearing it on the pod every day since then. It's been an absolute friend in her life with Type One Diabetes. And I think it may be for you as well. At least it could be and that's worth you finding out on the pod right now is offering the Omni pod promise. Simply put, if you're the kind of person who's waiting around for the next thing, the next thing that's coming you don't want to start now I don't want to get a dash because you know what about the next thing I want to get the next thing? Well, there's no need to wait for the next big thing because with the Omni pod promise you can upgrade to Omni pods latest technologies for no additional cost as soon as they're available to you and covered by your insurance terms and conditions apply. But you can find out more at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box and while you're there. Why don't you find out if you're eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash. That's right. You could get started with the Omni pod today. Free for the first 30 days and then something new comes up. They promise you can switch

links for Omnipod Dexcom. And all the sponsors can be found at Juicebox podcast.com. Or right there in the show notes of your podcast player. Did you say a minute ago that you felt ashamed of the diabetes or of your care of it?

Aryssah 30:28
Both? Oh, both. I definitely felt that I was ashamed to even go low. In public as well. That was a that was a big part of it. Where if I was with my friends, and all of a sudden got so sweaty, and would be reaching for a package use that it was really, it. Yeah, it was very embarrassing. And it was also scary. So I think part of it also, too, could be I just wanted the exact opposite of whatever was low, I want to feel the exact opposite of that. And if I'm high all the time, I'm I know that I'm never gonna have to feel that way.

Scott Benner 31:03
So out of control that people can see worse than out of control people can't see. And you're talking about passing comments a second ago, and this one interests me a lot. So if somebody came by and said, Oh, you're so lucky, I heard insaan, bookshop, right? That sticks to you, then that does that put you in like a Do you fall down a rabbit hole in your mind on that?

Aryssah 31:30
I wouldn't even say a rabbit hole per se. But I, I would acknowledge that what they were saying was accurate. Because we've all had that right where we are diagnosed, we've lost weight. And as soon as we start taking care of ourselves again, and getting on getting on care with insulin, you do gain back the weight that you lost, right. So I think I saw it and recognize it. And again, I'm not saying that I lost 100 pounds, or we're talking 20 pounds, perhaps Scott, this is not monumental. But when you're going through this instance, it felt monumental. Yeah. And many diabetics, I'm sure feel, hey, I'm not in control, I haven't been thrust into a situation where I don't want to be, I don't feel any control over my own body, or even probably my own mind, where, for me, the way that I coped with it was being in control of being constantly high all the time. Because it gave me that someone's of Hey, like, I, I'm in power of this,

Scott Benner 32:24
but there's no, there's no function inside of you that hears the comment about insulin and just wipes it away, and just goes, Oh, no, I don't want that. And, and you never think about it again, like so that's the I realized that. Listen, I realize that things have been said to me that I brush off that I probably hold on to subconsciously. I'm not saying that. That doesn't happen. That's I'm not like some like iron will, like, you know what I mean? But, but I wouldn't spend the rest of the day changing my life over it in a conscious way. And I'm interested when something can be said to somebody that changes their course, instead of them just going no, and then pushing on.

Aryssah 33:04
I think there can be comments to those Scott on the other end of it, where I had people telling me, hey, every time that you don't take care of yourself, and the longer you don't take care of yourself, that's 15 years off of your life expectancy. So it's funny how you mentioned that, that, you know, those comments can really stick to you. But certain comments can also be that okay, well, whatever, I'll deal with it when I'm when I'm 60.

Scott Benner 33:29
I had somebody yesterday, tell me the prospect of losing my leg to an amputation, felt comical, like it couldn't happen, right. But when someone told me I might lose my toe, it felt real to me. And I was like, I couldn't. I mean, I understand what they're saying. And I don't doubt that it could be true. I just was like, Wait, what? And then I guess it's the same thing as saying to somebody when they're 15. Like, if you eat well, you'll be healthy throughout your life. Yeah. And you're like, you can't imagine what that means. But you,

Aryssah 34:05
you feel unstoppable, right? It's a future risk problem. It's not a current or risk problem, right?

Scott Benner 34:10
But it's not Yeah, but if somebody told you like, eat a Dorito today, in three days from now, you're going to spontaneously combust. You'd be like, Oh, well, then I won't eat. Yeah, yeah, I got it. Okay. All right. Um, and the last thing I want to say, because you were you're bringing stuff up while you're talking is that I spoke to someone the other day, a parent of a newly diagnosed very young child under two years old. And we were just talking about amounts of insulin that the baby would need. And I said, looking at your graph, listening to your story, I feel like there's room in here for a little more basil. And right away it went to Is that too much? There's something about I keep harping on it because there's something about the measurement of numbers that messes with people aren't I using too much insulin, isn't that bad? Aren't I using some, you know, isn't this happy? Isn't this number to this or not enough that like people really key in on measurements and movement on a scale? Right? Like if because if this person's kid was diagnosed at four, and not 15 months, then they would have started out with basil that was greater to begin with. And then if I would have said to them, oh, I think you need to use four and a half units of basil today, they'd be like, Oh, that's okay. Because it's an incremental jump. But telling somebody, they have to go from two and a half to four seems huge. And I don't know, there's something about I don't know if I'm ever gonna figure it out. But there's something about how people think it's the movement of a measurement. And it has something to do with where you start and where you finish. It's not the numbers, how far the number moves, and it sticks people. I don't know what that means. But I've heard it enough times. Now. I believe in it.

Aryssah 36:04
I think my my partner says it in a right way, where we have to be so conscious, even more so than someone who is anorexic, I understand that I had a form of bulimia going through what I did in university. However, it's it's worse we what are their disease? Do you have to consider what you eat, the number of carbs and the grams of fiber so closely? And again, it's all those numbers, and it's that analysis of anything you're putting into your body. Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:34
The irony is we everyone should be doing it. You know,

Aryssah 36:39
maybe it's maybe healthier. I'm very thankful that I'm diabetic. I like adversity. I like to be the underdog. I use that, you know, kind of resilience as fuel. And I think if I wasn't diabetic, I wouldn't be who I am today. 100%.

Scott Benner 36:52
So what did you do? What steps did you take to get the universe to pick you up and put you in the proper place in the race.

Aryssah 36:59
Uh, I think I had to go through my own my own rock bottom, if you want to phrase it that way. I was in the hospital. And I had been in the hospital numerous times, as we talked about earlier, I at one point was tied to the bed restrained because I was in a diabetic coma and in thought to be even tied down to the bed. I don't remember any of this. And I remember waking up with a tube down my throat and my grandma kissing my forehead. That wasn't even the lowest point, Scott. I was in the hospital for about two months total. And that's where I said, Hey, I'm going to make a change after that got out and ordered a Dexcom. After that, you know, made sure I got an omni pod. I think hitting that rock rock bottom was really where it was a wake up call, where I didn't want to feel that way. ever again. I'd make them make myself feel good somewhat in the way of Hey, okay, I look good outside. But hitting that point it was I don't want to ever do this ever again.

Scott Benner 37:54
That that two month stint? How long ago?

Unknown Speaker 37:58
How long ago was that? That was 2017. Oh, that's not that long ago? No. 2017? almost almost four years, four years.

Scott Benner 38:11
Wow. So how many years did you live like that?

Aryssah 38:14
I would say so I was diagnosed in 19 2017, I would have been 27. So about eight years, from 2009 to 2017.

Scott Benner 38:24
And so your management style was

Aryssah 38:27
management style was I would inject long acting, and I would eat whatever I wanted. I would then start throwing up and this wouldn't be everyday would maybe be once a week I would start throwing up. And because I didn't want to go to the hospital again. Once I started throwing up, that's when I would inject short acting insulin and then continue that cycle. Every week

Scott Benner 38:47
that vomiting was decay, or you force not forcing yourself to vomit.

Aryssah 38:52
I never forced myself I don't think I have the I wouldn't have the gousto to or the hutzpah to but um, I it was strictly from DK and I know that because there were some times where it was just so far gone that I would have to go to the hospital. And they would tell me obviously what was going on which I already knew.

Scott Benner 39:09
I met a little girl in Oklahoma that that was her management style was DK hospital DK hospital just over and over again. For not understanding how to Matt they didn't they just the family just didn't understand the use of the insulin. Right. I remember feeling so heartbroken when she told me that what was the colloquialism you use before hutzpah. gousto What is that? I don't know that one like like hutzpah. Is that a Is that like a weird Canadian? It must be it must be. I'm sorry to do this in the middle of an important conversation but do you notice about that but he or

Unknown Speaker 39:51
she? You sto I can use it in a sentence again if you like Oh

Scott Benner 39:59
good. I want you to go ahead,

Aryssah 40:02
I had the gousto to write my wrongs and start Take care, taking care of my body in a way that I knew was correct for myself at the time for my future self, for even my loved ones as well.

Scott Benner 40:18
Individual or specific taste, how to use gousto. In a sense, I don't know, this might be a thing that happened in your house that, like, when I met my wife, I learned that her father, you know, this thing. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Aryssah 40:38
I must be an American thing I'm unfamiliar. Like

Scott Benner 40:40
he would say it completely wrong. And I would watch everybody. And I'm like, none of them realize this is wrong. And he's been saying it like this for so long. They believe that this is the saying, and it is not. But anyway, that's not my point. gousto. Okay. I'm sorry. Like, I absolutely shouldn't have gone down this road. But we need a break anyway, your story is pretty deep. It's. So you're in that hospital for two, two months, you make the decision, I'm going to do something dying to know, is there a person in your life at that point that you're interested in? romantically?

Aryssah 41:16
Yes, I was actually married at the time. How long were you married? I was married from 2017 to 2020. And he was very supportive throughout throughout the process. But through the breakup, certain things were said that obviously stung me very much in relation to this. So very thankful I had him at the time do I feel that now I have a partner that maybe doesn't necessarily is not diabetic, but understands more, so what I go through, because we're maybe more communicative about it 100% I'm very thankful for where I'm at now, romantically cool.

Scott Benner 41:55
Listen, I don't, I don't need to know about your personal life, I brought it up. Because because I find that one of the triggers for adults to pull themselves together, is having another person in their life that they care about. There's this, I've seen this, this thread over and over again, where for some reason, you can't work up the energy or the whatever to care about yourself. But to be there for someone else, or to see that someone else cares about you can kick it into gear,

Aryssah 42:28
I can see that in a way I did always feel his support truly for, for going down that road. I think I was even preparing myself to be a mother. And I knew to be an an oven or a solid oven, so to speak, right? I didn't want to house a child in me. That would be unhealthy. I felt that was unjust. And I mean event, obviously, I'm not a mother, we ended up breaking up and not having kids. But I think at the time that you're very right, that could have played into it where Hey, I want to make sure that I'm the best I can be for anyone that I would house within my body. And I felt that the I felt that honestly, the way I was going was not the way to do that.

Scott Benner 43:07
I just I've heard people tell stories too many times that mimic that idea, but they don't tell it like that. They don't know that's what they did. It's through the conversation that you hear it. They finally meet somebody, they want to be a mom, they're doing it for someone else. All of a sudden, it's a fascinating psychological thing that we can't do things for ourselves, but we can do them for other people. Even when they're about us. And by the way, sadly, brick oven mama is not going to be the title of your episode, but I wish it was gonna end up being an after dark just because the sensitive nature of it but oh my god, if only if only the story led to it being brick oven, Mama. I don't know why I just that's what I like. Alright, so 2017 you're wack you're like Alright, what's the first step to fixing it?

Aryssah 43:59
Getting a Dexcom Truly, I had been on a pump very close after being diagnosed, I was probably 21 at the time. And I hated it because I would rip it out in my sleep I'm I guess a more violent sleeper than I care to be where if something's on my body, I want it off. And being on a pump when I was 21 I, the idea to me was just off my God, I don't want anything there. I don't want to have a pump ever again. So the Dexcom to me was a still way to take care of myself without necessarily having a pump. So had the Dexcom at the start of 2018. And about a year later, I started inquiring about the Omni pod saying to myself Hey, okay, the Dexcom is good. This is great, but I still want something on my body to help me you know, inject quickly and and probably in a way to Scott as we kind of talked about earlier in terms of a bit more, a bit more discreetly, as well. I didn't like that. Yes, I was on Dexcom I would see hey, Okay, I gotta go and jack. Well, if I'm at a restaurant, maybe I'll go to the bathroom to do that. I just kind of wanted to be myself. For I was,

Scott Benner 45:00
I wonder sometimes if people listening to the ads, and if you listen to the ads, thank you very much. It's how the podcast keeps going, I appreciate that. But in the in the Omni pod ads, sometimes they'll say, you know, one of the best things about it is you can wear it out in the open and be proud about it and let everybody see, or you can, or you can put it somewhere discreet. And that's up to the person. Because some people are going to come through your path and want it to be discreet, and some people are, are going to have been dropped in the race at a better better place. Who doesn't care if you see their Dexcom, their CGM or their or their pump. And, but that, that you have that choice is a big deal because everybody's different. You know, I always just imagine people think I'm saying stuff to say it. Like everything sounds trite. When you bang it down into less than two minutes, you know, name and it's hard to be thoughtful in two minutes. But that is really what I mean by that, that it's, you know, that everybody listening has a different desire.

Aryssah 45:57
Well, exactly. And everyone's everyone's way should be respected. As long as again, they're doing what's best for them and trying to take care of themselves. And, again, no one is ever going to be perfect. The days that we try to be perfect are some of the most haywire days in terms of our sugars. But as long as we're trying and we were, we're each respectful of each other spaces, but there's no judgement in terms of Hey, why don't you be proud to show off your on the potter? Hey, why don't you wear your Dexcom in your arm rather than your stomach? Show it off? If I'm not comfy to that's okay. And if you're comfy, too, I applaud you that you're that way.

Scott Benner 46:30
I don't understand. judging people at all, I guess, in any, but I just think it's a not that some people aren't judgy. I'm not saying that. But but exactly what you just said is just, hey, you're doing a thing with the thing that I have. But the way you do it is opposite of how I do it. You know what you should do? You should do the thing that makes me happy. Mm hmm. Like, that's really what it is. When people are saying stuff like that. They're just they think, oh, there's a happy way to do this. You're doing it the other way. It's, it's they never put themselves in your shoes and think, oh, maybe this is your happy way. I know that's a lot of the same word over and over again. But there's really there's really that idea that people cannot take themselves out of their own experience and put them in someone else's in and in less in a moment in a in a in a pass by like you don't mean like hey, you use insulin. That's amazing. Because you can poke up when, by the way also, you really should know whenever boys are talking. They're just doing their best. It's their best try to have sex with you. That's all. And I realized most of them are just so ham fisted and not good at it. But they literally boys are just like that girl pretty. Yeah, I say thing. She talked me we go dinner. Like it's not we're really dumb. So it's, uh, it's interesting. So so but you have to you get the Dexcom, which is the tool that helps you make the decisions. But you had to immediately start injecting four meals and counting carbs, were you able to just start doing that?

Aryssah 48:04
I would. I've been trained to count carbs. I mean, when I was first diagnosed, because I didn't take care of myself didn't mean I didn't know how to write that time was something I, I very much did on my own accord. But I still know, I still knew how to sew when I did start injecting I, I was able to take better care of myself because you know, I can count count count carbs and ensure that I'm eating the right things and making sure that I have fibers you know, you know, low low glycemic index foods of Hey, okay, well, not gonna have you know, basmati rice, I'm gonna have brown rice instead. So those decisions were easy to navigate, thankfully. But it was challenging in the way of always making sure I had needles on me always making sure that I had my insulin on me, always willing to try to backup. So that was obviously challenging. But yes, I could still manage to take care of myself. Because Because I had those skill sets from before.

Scott Benner 48:58
You just had to use them here. Just make yourself do it. By the way. interesting side note basmati rice really easy on Arden. Well, interesting. When you said that I was like, Oh, I can't believe that's the juxtaposition she had there. But that's goes right back to my last the what I was just saying. Because imagine you go online, you say, ah, somebody says, I eat white rice. And I got really high. Does anybody have blah, blah, blah to help me out and you jump in and go? Oh, yeah, brown rice definitely don't eat basmati rice. And then what if I was like, that's wrong, basmati we're like, it's it's not wrong. It's what works for you.

Aryssah 49:35
Everyone, everyone has a different experience of hate that you know, when I'm low, I really like to have gushers because there's 18 carbs in them. And I feel like it's just the right amount to get me back up to speed whereas other people may depend on juice or other people may depend on I don't know, sugar pills, right. But we're all we're all just trying to do our best with whatever tools that work best for us.

Scott Benner 49:56
Yeah, no, that's that's my point is just stop thinking everybody. Get something wrong. I have such an I have such a good example from the from the internet, but I can't I don't want to use it because I don't want to make anybody feel badly but watching adults not be able to interact is fascinating. I've just like you can see what they're doing wrong like you like Don't say that. Now you said it. Don't react that they did it. They doing it on purpose? like are they trying? Like, is it one of those things where like, let me just get another dig in? Where do they really not understand? Like, it's would be such a gift to step back and watch your own life from a third party perspective. Yeah, but anyway, so Okay, so you're giving yourself your insulin, you're making better food choices? Does it ever? Do you ever fall off the wagon?

Aryssah 50:47
I haven't actually. And I think there are ways where you can still enjoy a few things where you're shaking, I think when you're open and communicative about it, Scott. So for example, on my diabetic anniversary cheer, you know, June 26, maybe I you know, yeah, have a have a packet Smarties or something of that nature. But I do it with my partner to say, hey, like, this is an important day, let's do something to celebrate. And but I'll still inject. That's the difference. I'll eat that. But I know now that hey, I can eat whatever the heck I want, as long as I take care of myself for it. And you know, use my Omni pod. So falling off the wagon no of saying, Hey, I'm going to not inject and eat whatever I want for a week. No, I don't do that anymore. But do I try and enjoy little things in a controlled manner? Of course. And it's, it's because I'm able to talk and share with my partner about it. Cool.

Scott Benner 51:37
Is that, are you? Maybe you're not but are you shell shocked at all? Like, is there any part of you that feels like if I like, like to liken this to alcoholism for a second that one beer would turn into a case? Like, do you have that feeling of like if I ate something, and I got the Bolus wrong and my blood sugar went up? I just be like, whatever, like, would you do have that concern? Are you just being a thoughtful adult about your eating?

Aryssah 52:04
Right, and I, I want to touch on it in the way of I think I think I mentioned this earlier in the way of when you're really high, it continues to feel good, when you're really high until it doesn't, right until you start throwing up. But when you're taking care of your sugar, and you have a spike in an afternoon or a day, I feel like crap, there's no way that I would ever be able to do what I used to do now, because I've had that cycle of continuously taking care of myself. So thankfully, it's not like alcohol, or it's not like drugs or anything along those lines where you're looking forward to that feeling again, I know that I very well could, you know, not inject for a bunch of a bunch of candy that I eat. However, I know that I'm gonna feel so sick afterwards. And to me, that's not worth it.

Scott Benner 52:49
Yeah. You know, the other night. The other day, actually, on the weekend, Arden said, Can you take me to the grocery store, I'm gonna make cookies, and I need some ingredients. We got her all these ingredients. And later that night, she must have spent like an hour and a half in the kitchen making like these snickerdoodle cookies that had this icing on top that were kind of cream cheesy. It was right. There's something over the top. And then she walked out and said, Does anybody want a cookie and gave everybody a cookie? And then she didn't eat one. And she never had one. And I asked her at one point said the cookies are good to try. And she's another too sweet for me. And I was like, Oh, okay. I'm gonna be five of them. Just so you know. But no, but like, it's, it was interesting that she just, she doesn't like too much sweet stuff. And she knows it. And so she just doesn't do it. And I don't even know. It's I don't even know why that is like, how does somebody make a good decision like that? You know? Because certainly one cookie after all that work right. But now, she just didn't and doesn't. And that's not a that's not an uncommon story for her like that. Just so you're making me feel

Aryssah 53:58
good on her to be that way. That's that's I really respect that. Yeah, you should be proud.

Scott Benner 54:02
I just it's funny, because I never thought about it before until I was talking to you like that. This is a an accomplishment of some some sort. I don't know what exactly. But I'm going to give myself most of the credit for it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my wife probably a little bit MIMO and ardonagh. You know, whatever. Yeah, it's just happening to her. She's not making decisions. I'm teasing. I just think it's a I think it's I didn't think of that as, as some sort of a life level up, but I guess it is really well, what else should people know?

Aryssah 54:35
The last thing I would probably want to share too, is as as we talked about, I was writing my university career while I was going through this and obviously my mental state, physical health and GPA truly all suffered because of it. And I know that university can be really challenging and that diabetes itself can be really challenging, but I've created a scholarship Actually, this year, hoping to provide some solace to a student who is diabetic themselves. And entering their first year of university. And I want to be able to help people now and I have the means to be able to help people now as a, you know, fully working functioning adult. And I find I find it to be cathartic to be involved with that funding it myself to say, Hey, I went through this, I don't want you to feel this. If you're experiencing some of the challenges that I did, here's a scholarship to help pay for your education. Wow, how many scholarships are you funding? So just the one, it's funded through myself, it's not a whole lot, but it's called the the torchbearer scholarship toward for scholarship for type ones. And I just really want to make sure that I tried to do right by the situation, as I mentioned, that I felt was unjust. And this is a good way for me to give back and feel better, maybe about the situation I by no means I'm ever going to be able to go back and erase those years that I didn't take care of myself. But this could be a way to make myself feel that I've

Scott Benner 55:55
come to terms with it. It's lovely. Is there any chance that's happening in a Canadian province with a really funny name? No, unfortunately, no, nevermind. I was hoping it would be Manitoba or something like no, no, no,

Aryssah 56:08
I live in I live in Toronto, Ontario. So I'm one of the more regulated names

Scott Benner 56:14
you didn't even say at tr. O and like I said, it's it's without the second tee. It's mostly Toronto. Yeah. You don't really say the second tee? No, I know you don't. But I had somebody on recently that was like, I live in Toronto. And I'm like, wait a minute What now? I was like, TRN t. Trump Toronto. Meanwhile, you know, I can't say water. But what the hell, you know? Still, which when I think she when she said it on is like that's by that's gonna be a good episode. I can't wait. There are times where I think I wish the show was just a daily like, show. Because I have these conversations and like, I can't wait for people to hear these. And then I they don't go up all the time. So you have to wait. And like I'm thinking right now like, Oh, this is a great story like this should go up right away. But the truth is, it's not going to, like I'm so recorded ahead. But I'm enjoying talking to you a lot. I want to I just very much want to make sure that we're not missing anything here. So there's no. So you saw let me make Let me see if I can pick through my understanding. So you, you had some sort of a major health crisis that made you say, I am not living like this anymore. First step, I think is to be able to see my blood sugar. So you got you got to CGM, then you had to make the conscious decision to give yourself insulin which it doesn't sound like you had trouble doing. It wasn't like some sort of an existential fight to do you gave yourself insulin, you brought your agency down how long until you felt better? I would say maybe

Aryssah 57:50
the only part was really the big changer. So I mean, even a few weeks after having the Omnipod I felt so much better, so much better Scott and to be able to to be able to not have that roller coaster of the up and downs. I think that's that's one of the most untalked about challenges. Yes, we talk about it certain instances, but it's it's the consistent roller coaster. And I'm sure some people talk about it, but it's just not. It's not known maybe it's the most challenging thing people maybe go to different you know, lows or highs but they don't talk about the in between period of that going up and down where you know, if you're if you're high you over and jacked and then you ultimately go low. And then when you're low, obviously you try need someone else to bring you higher, and then you go high again, and it's just that constant vicious cycle.

Scott Benner 58:36
I think of it as chasing, you're always chasing the diabetes like Daddy, and how did you and how did you know how to do it? Like, did you limit carbs so that you could be successful with the insulin? or How did you know how to be successful and keep away the ups and downs,

Aryssah 58:51
I would say not necessarily limit carbs, I do have a pretty low carb diet. So that wasn't too challenging. I think if we're kind of being candid through this and going back in the schedule, or the or the timeline, once I had the Dexcom I was eating healthier. So when the Omnipod came along, it was just Hey, how do I manage eating healthy already, but without having to necessarily inject got it. So it was it was pretty easy to do and obviously much more handy and a great tool. But I think Yeah, after a couple of weeks on the Omni part of you know it is challenging a little bit in the beginning because you're trying to get your basil is right and you know, trying to make sure that your your I don't have my carb ratio I think changed as well. But once I got it right, it was Oh wow. Okay, I feel awesome and what like looking down on my Dexcom I'm what 6.2 That's amazing. And again, I apologize for the for the discrepancy in American and Canadian numbers but Juicebox Podcast I kind of made once you calculate but it felt it felt amazing. And I think your mind becomes addicted to again, whatever your whatever your environment is, if you're feeling good, you want to continue to feel Good. If you feel bad, unfortunately, you want to continue to feel that way too.

Scott Benner 1:00:03
Yeah. Now your body's process of chemicals, right chemical reactions happening all over the place. If you if you take out sugar, just as an example of what you're saying, your body will stop wanting it at some point. And then you give it back. And it's just like, it just it lights up every one of those receptors again, you're like, Oh, my God, sugar, definitely want more sugar until you completely crash and your system can't keep up with it. And you're, you know, you look up six months later, and you're 25 pounds heavier, and you feel like you've eaten a big dinner constantly. And it's just a drag on your your blood sugar is, is very much in charge of a lot of how you feel. Yeah, just true. I had a question where to go. It's in my brain somewhere. I'm getting older. It's not my fault. is what I'm sticking with for now. Dammit. What was I gonna say? This is very poignant. There should be some music that plays here while I'm thinking but Jeopardy music. Yeah, but then I'd have to pay to use the music and what the hell? Give me a second. I'm not talking. I'm lost. I'm 100% lost. In my own mind, this is terrible. I'm going to start over instead. And I'll find my way back. So Dexcom on the pod, using the insulin correctly, making better food choices. You haven't felt like you're gonna slip backwards? No. therapy. That was it? Did you go to therapy?

Aryssah 1:01:37
Did very thankful for any counseling I've done? And I think in the past, I'd felt and this is this is a conversation that I hope this should be the pinpoint of the episode here to where everyone needs to speak to someone if they're going through diabetes. And I think it's not, it's not talked about enough where Yes, okay, we're given those tools of, you know, a nurse maybe and, you know, you meet with your diabetes education center, you really need to speak to someone about how you feel. Because I felt that I was a failure. I felt heavy on my self worth. I felt like I couldn't do anything right when it came to diabetes. And then after speaking to my therapist and sort of discovering Hey, Yeah, wow. Okay, if I've been diagnosed three months earlier, I would have had all these tools at my disposal. But because of, you know, luck of the draw, unfortunately, I didn't. That doesn't mean that I'm a failure. It just means I wasn't set up with the right tools. So I really want if anyone has a message to take away from this episode, please speak to someone. You're not alone. You can speak to support groups, you can speak to a therapist, you can speak to friends, family, just don't keep how you're feeling to yourself, because it's it's painful to bottle it up. Are you proud of yourself? Oh, very much, very much. And I don't think Scott, if you had told me at 19 what I would be at now? I would think I would think you're crazy.

Scott Benner 1:02:57
Yeah. Do you think you would be dead? Probably. Did you ever have a conscious thought? Like, I'm just gonna ride this wave to like, crash into the reef, or you weren't thinking about it? I

Aryssah 1:03:06
think I didn't care as much when I was treating my body that way. Because I thought I don't know how long this is gonna last anyway. So Screw it.

Scott Benner 1:03:12
Okay. Were you ever misled by the idea of like, they're going to cure this, so it doesn't matter?

Aryssah 1:03:19
Oh, completely. I mean, my mom and I go into my undercut endocrinologists office when I was diagnosed, he says, hey, yeah, five to 10 years, we'll have a cure. And I mean, that was 2009. Right?

Scott Benner 1:03:31
So as a young person that kind of makes you feel like, why not to do a great job of this? Because they'll just cure it. Yeah, not realizing that, I think in the history of mankind, we've only cured like nine things, and five of them aren't that exciting, right? So yeah, the curing something like that. And I'm making air quotes, no one can see me making air quotes. So I better find a way to use inflection, but curing something's uncommon. And the end, if you really understood the system at play, like maybe they'll be able to block your immune system and replace your beta cells one day or something like that. But there's no you're not going to take a pill and not have diabetes anymore. Right? That's not how this is going to work in in any kind of foreseeable timeline that you and I are going to be alive in. You know, I'm not saying that the baby's organs aren't gonna figure it out 5000 years from now or something like that, but we're not figuring out in 2026 like that. So

Aryssah 1:04:32
I think if you folks to probably I don't know I felt this way after leaving the doctor's office that honeymoon phase is so important thinking oh, well, you know, they told me I have this but I don't really write because I mean my blood sugar is not terrible. Now that I've started taking insulin a little bit and then honestly when that honeymoon phase goes away, you know, wham bam

Scott Benner 1:04:51
Yeah. Wham you got diabetes. Boom, here we go. You know, your your Basal goes from three a day to 10 a day like what happened well Have a sudden a unit of insulin won't make you low. It won't even make your blood sugar move. Right and you're 19 and yeah, I think that it prouds not even the right word like, for how you should feel, you know what I mean? Like somebody dropped you in the middle of a war again with a like a peashooter and and your home now. You know, that's it's really a it's extraordinary, honestly, isn't it? No. No. And, and you're Canadian. So bonus points. Because I mean, I don't know. Like imagine. Listen for people listening, imagining having to ride a moose to your doctor's appointment. It's not a great life.

Aryssah 1:05:37
It's challenging. I usually have to Yeah, I escaped to to the pharmacy to pick up my insulin. So you're very right,

Scott Benner 1:05:43
I escaped on two rocks that you tied to your feet. You live at the Arctic Circle, I think I'm not that far for you. I'm not that far from I realize it's very close to me. So Matter of fact, I think you drive through some fairly Hickey, United States states to get to Toronto, where Toronto might be much more of a metropolitan center than those places are right. But it's more fun if we talk about it like this. So you live in an igloo, and, and even though we don't know what you do for a living, we assume you trap beavers, and hats and other warm weather here so that your people don't die. That's right. 100%. Although I guess we're gonna end this in a second, I'm gonna find out you're an attorney or something like that. But is there anything else that you want to add that you think that people should know? But I think this has been a terrific episode. But I just want to make sure I don't miss anything. No, I

Aryssah 1:06:42
think I think I've shared all that I can. And I hope everyone can be vulnerable with anyone that they're speaking to you. And the same way that I have, that I've been this episode. And I there's power in that vulnerability, and there's power in that resiliency, and there's power in that adversity that we're all dealing with. So I guess just be open, whenever you feel comfortable, it may not be right away. But whenever you feel comfortable, feel free to be vulnerable. Well, I

Scott Benner 1:07:04
want to thank you for doing that. I was just sharing with my brother last night that he was asking, it's a weird thing to have a podcast like this that says popular as it is because there are people in your life like that. Like I don't know if it comes to surprise anybody. But nobody in my immediate family has ever heard this podcast. And you know, he's talking to my brother. And he was asking about it a little bit. And I was telling him how it was growing. And we were talking about downloads and stuff like that, while he and I were on the phone. And I was telling him I think I might add another advertiser soon. And he said, what else comes from the show besides like this, this aspect of it, I started telling him about people writing to me, and, and seeking me out to tell me stories. And listen. A lot of people have blogs and podcasts and you'll hear people say like I hear from people all the time. And and sometimes the reality is they get a note every once in a while, which is amazing. I'm not saying that that's not all the time, but I probably hear from 15 people a day. And so I was explaining to my brother about not feeling like you have to not get overwhelmed by hearing people's stories, and not make yourself numb to them either. So that you can you want to really hear them. Like I want to really hear when somebody writes to me or reaches out or whatever, like I don't want to, I don't want your best moment in the last three years to be a blahs a like thing to me, I guess. And so I don't feel that way. But you do when it happens so frequently. Like you got to catch yourself. Sometimes somebody is like, Oh my God, my life is changed. You don't go great. Like, you know, like you, you can really be in it with them. But what I said to him was that personally, that it's been incredibly fulfilling to me, and not for helping people. I mean, although the it is for that. But I still I'm starting to feel like a repository of people's stories. Like I get to hear every one of them and it's different to have the count, even though the people listening I think are being really served well by this conversation you and I are having. I'm listening to it in a different way. Because I do not know what you're going to say. And I do not know what question is going to pop in my head when you say it. So we are having a really personal like interaction right now you and I. And I just feel like the decisions I make around diabetes and life at this point now. May I'm just gonna digress for one more second. When I grew up, I was I'm adopted right so I grew up with a family unit and I did not feel incredibly similar to them. Like something would happen and they'd have a reaction my reaction would always be somewhat different. Whether it was like a question about money or politics or in general, like I just I always was sort of different than them. And because of that, I would kind of go out into the world. And when I met people who I found to have like, real valuable aspects to them, I think about them, like I'm thinking of a man now who I met when he was in his 60s who was, you know, basically a brick Mason. I had nothing in common with them. But he was an incredibly hard worker. And I thought that's, that's his best skill. Like, that's his best trait. Like that's important. Like, look how important being a hard worker is, I'll remember that. Or I met a guy who incorporated his his kind of like, comedic feel into bad situations, I was already doing that. But I was like, okay, that seems viable, like, so I would kind of pick and choose from people like their best attributes to pay attention to like, is that something I'd want to do? And now I'm getting to do it with the podcast. And I record three of these a week. So I have hours and hours of conversation every week with people who are different than me who have different perspectives. And as I'm hearing them, I think I'm remembering the kind of the salient points, the stuff that I take away, and I think it's making me a better person.

Aryssah 1:11:20
Oh, completely. But you're, I mean, Scott, yes. And good on you that you're able to stay present with everyone sharing their story when they do, but you're also creating that community for us all to feel safe to share. You know, it wasn't till I started listening to your podcast, where I thought, Oh, hey, you know what, there were some after dark episodes where that kind of resonates with me, you know, hey, yeah, no, there was that there was that girl I listen to that. Yeah, she was actually throwing up as well, while she was diabetic. So it's, it's the community that you are creating as well. The world very thankful for, and grateful that we get to experience but yeah, it sounds like it's a it's a gift both ways, right? It's a gift to yourself, but it's also a gift to us.

Scott Benner 1:11:56
I think I might be getting more out of it than you are. And I feel like you just said you were getting a fair amount out of it. So I think we're good, but, but I appreciate that. I really do. And it was my it's funny, that was actually my intention. But now hearing it set back by you, I think, Wow, that was like a fool's errand when I started it, like, what made me think I could accomplish that. It's such a big thing. You know, like I, I'm sitting here right now, as you say that thinking like, I can't believe it worked. Yeah, I'm grateful it worked. I just, I don't know, I guess, you know, I guess that's everything, right? If you if you stood at the bottom of Mount Everest and thought, I'm probably not going to make it up there, then you wouldn't, you wouldn't even try. And and so some people try and make it and some people don't. And, you know, for whatever reason, who knows? I'm very grateful that it helps people. And and that it's been that it was that for you or for anybody else. Okay, I didn't mean for this to know how great I was at the end. I really was just trying to say that. I'm grateful for people like you who come on and share so openly like this. Because this is not scripted. And you and I did not talk before we did this, like you sent me like a blurb. I think it was three sentences. I sit down and think to myself about the talk to a woman who had an eating disorder is doing better now. Right? Like that's the only like, and then we had technical difficulties. Now I'm an MIT and trying to keep your your life in my mind at the same time. So yeah, very cool. All right, we are going to stop here.

First, a huge thanks to Arista for coming on the show and sharing her story so bravely. I also want to thank Dexcom to remind you to go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box today right now I mean as soon as you're done with us just shut it off Dexcom comm forward slash juice box, then roll right over to Omni pod Omni pod comm forward slash juice box. check in and see if you're eligible for the free 30 day trial the Omni pod dash Don't forget about the Omni pod promise you can get started today. just dive right in. Just want to say here how terrific it is that people come on the show and share so freely really does make the podcast what it is. If you hold on for a second, I'll let you know about the other after darks in case you'd like to find them. So as the podcast gets bigger, I realized there are more and more episodes and it might become difficult to find some of the ones you're looking for. The afterdark series goes all the way back to Episode 274 where we talked about drinking. In Episode 283 we spoke about smoking weed 305 trauma and addiction 319 it was having sex from a female perspective 336 depression and self harm 365 sex from a male perspective 72 after dark divorce and co parenting 380 for bipolar 393 bulimia and depression 399 heroin addiction in Episode 422, we talked to Amy. Amy is so singularly special I just call the episode after dark Amy. In Episode 450 spoke about using psychedelics while you have type one, Episode 462 a sexual assault survivor came on and talked about how that impacted their life with diabetes. There was another episode of 472 living with bipolar disorder 508, the adult child of divorce in Episode 531, a 30 plus year type one named Mike shares his complications with us and of course today, this is a ressa and she's talking about an eating disorder. You can find these episodes in your podcast app by searching Juicebox Podcast afterdark or you can go to Juicebox Podcast comm scroll down a little bit, you'll find them there. As you're scrolling. You'll also see the pro tip series, the defining diabetes series, the diabetes variable series, how we eat there's a ton there to check out. So I mean, whatever algorithm pumping a you know, there's a lot there, head over and take a look Juicebox podcast.com

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