#1576 Low and Behold
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Brenda shares her powerful journey through type 1 diabetes, cancer, RA, thyroid issues, and lifelong resilience against autoimmune challenges.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Welcome.
Brenda 0:14
Hi. My name is Brenda. I am a 56 year old grandmother, and I'm excited and overly joy to be speaking to all of you today. If
Scott Benner 0:28
this is your first time listening to the Juicebox Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcasts or Spotify, really, any audio app at all, look for the Juicebox Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold beginnings, the diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes and their mini med 780 G system designed to help ease the burden of diabetes management, imagine fewer worries about Miss boluses or miscalculated carbs thanks to meal detection technology and automatic correction doses, learn more and get started today at Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the twist a ID system powered by tide pool that features the twist loop algorithm, which you can target to a glucose level as low as 87 Learn more at twist.com/juicebox, that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Get precision insulin delivery with a target range that you choose at twist.com/juicebox, that's t, w, i, i s t.com/juicebox,
Brenda 2:25
hi. My name is Brenda. I am a 56 year old grandmother, and I'm excited and overly joy to be speaking to all of you today.
Scott Benner 2:38
Brenda, I appreciate you doing this. Thank you very much. You are so welcome. You're very kind. Let me ask you a question right out of the gate. It's got nothing to do with anything. How old were you when you had your first kid?
Brenda 2:49
I had my first child at 17. He was born November 10, and I turned 18 on November 16. The reason I did that is because I thought I was going to die. By the age of 50, I was going to be dead and buried, because being a diabetic, I didn't think I was going to live a long life. So I got married at 17. I wanted to have a family. I come from a huge family of seven, and I just wanted to be able to, you know, be a wife, be a mom, and enjoy life. Wow,
Scott Benner 3:33
how many kids are brothers and sisters with you?
Brenda 3:36
I'm of one of seven. So I have six siblings. You know, I was
Scott Benner 3:40
going to say, after I said it all like, garbled, like that. There's another way to say that. Scott, you could have just said, How many siblings do you have? Again, but Okay, so you're, you're one of seven. Is it a pretty even mix? Boys? Girls?
Brenda 3:52
No, five girls and two boys, okay, which in turn we have three Anthonys. Well, Antoinette, they wanted a boy so bad, and, you know, and they waited, and I think Martha attributed onto number four is Antoinette, because they wanted a boy so bad. And then after number four, I was number five, and they still wanted a boy. So we have Antoinette and Anthony both named after my father.
Scott Benner 4:21
Very nice. How old were you when you were diagnosed type one? I was eight years old. You were eight, Brenda. You have to give me a second, because you sound so incredibly like a woman I know named Brenda that I my brain has to keep telling me you're not her. It's that. It's Oh,
Brenda 4:39
that's a little bit scary. I may know you,
Scott Benner 4:42
it's crazy. Is there any chance you're from the Indiana area, Chicago? That's pretty close
Brenda 4:48
to there, isn't it? What grade school did you go to? I'm
Scott Benner 4:51
just kidding. I'm not from there, but you have type one at eight years old. Do you have any other autoimmune issues
Brenda 4:59
at eight? But it was just the diabetes through the years. I have had cancer, breast cancer. Five years ago, just hit the five year mark, and you know, rheumatoid arthritis, thyroid, I've had surgery on basically every one of my fingers and both of my wrists for carpal tunnel, trigger finger, frozen shoulder, tore, meniscus, arthritic feet. But life goes on and you live and you're happy for tomorrow, and you just push yourself through it. So
Scott Benner 5:38
you have a pretty mixed bag of of autoimmune stuff going on and issues. How about your sisters and your brothers?
Brenda 5:45
Actually, everybody's relatively healthy. There's rheumatoid in one one sister, one sibling, but my brother, I actually diagnosed him. I was about maybe six months into being a diabetic. You know, back then, you would get a little test tube with an eyedropper, and you'd have to put a little pill, and you would test your urine, and you would have to check the color, yeah. And, you know, back in the day, there was just everything seems so complicated, and I was testing everybody's urine in the house, and my brother's urine changed to color, and I was like, he's sick, he's sick, and nobody believed me. And I went to the doctor, and my next appointment, I was like, my brother's pee changed to color, and nobody understood, and they checked him, and to this day, he's like, You made me a diabetic.
Scott Benner 6:48
No one knew he had told them. Wait, were you born exactly? You Born in the mid 60s? Yes, 67 Okay, so in like 19, I don't know, 70 something, you're running around telling your family. I figured out the kids got the bees and nobody would listen to you.
Brenda 7:04
Well, yeah, they were just like, oh, no, he's and I was like, No, I'm telling you, like, it changed colors. So sure enough, they took him in. And I was like, wow, he had a simple just go in check him. He's a diabetic. Me, I ended up, I used to spend the summers with my grandmother and I apparently urinated all over her, as she would call it, Davenport, which is a sofa. She used to call it a Davenport.
Scott Benner 7:32
You don't have to tell me. My grandmom had a Davenport. I know what you're talking about. Yeah,
Brenda 7:37
they were the best. I would go there, I would actually take three busses to get to her house. I make it sound like they put an eight year old on the bus by themselves. But back in those days, it was different, you know, it was safe,
Scott Benner 7:53
you know, I don't know how safe it was, but you know, it was different. That's for sure. It was
Brenda 7:57
different. So I, you know, my grandmother didn't drive, my mom didn't drive, but I would go spend the summers with my grandmother, and my mom didn't see me for like, a month, and I came home and I was extremely underweight. My face was all sunken in. I think I was 60 pounds or 40 pounds back then, I think it was 60. I actually have a picture of myself, and I looked I was like, Oh, my goodness. I cannot believe that none of you guys saw that I was sick. Like, this was okay. I
Scott Benner 8:33
can't I can't believe you had to take three busses to get to diabetes. That's terrible. Oh, let me tell you. So there's a lot going on here that people don't understand. I would imagine, if you're younger, like, you got on three busses to go visit your grandmom. You weren't coming back a day or so later. You hung out for a few weeks, right? Like my dad, oh yeah, yeah. Used to take me to my grandmother's house on a Saturday, and he'd be like, yeah, I'll see you next week and come back and get me next Saturday. It was like, during the summer, like, this is all very common. I think I don't know that people understand how great a modern vehicle is still. And I know this makes me sound like super old, which I'm not that old, but cars used to suck, like now that the cheapest car you can buy is awesome. You know what I mean Exactly, yeah, yeah. It's quiet inside and warm or cool and comfortable. And when you steer it, it goes where you mean for it to it stops like these are not things we these are things we would have taken, you know, for granted today, that cars didn't just do in the 70s and 80s. Sometimes
Brenda 9:35
my mother would put me on the bus. I'd have to sit at the front, and she would tell the bus driver, she needs to get off at a certain stop, which was Milwaukee, and I would have to get on, and then I would have to take the bus down to the Statue of Liberty. Thus the reason I'm still a landmark person. So I would then have to take the Statue of Liberty to the drugstore, and then I'd have to take the drugstore to the meat market, and that's how I got to my grandmother's house. Did
Scott Benner 9:59
you walk to your grandma? Other center, was she meeting you? No, that was on the bus. You know, I'm saying once you got off at Meat Market. Was she their mother was waiting for me? Yeah, they weren't, yeah, and they weren't irresponsible. No,
Brenda 10:11
no, she was standing, she was standing at the bus stop waiting for me. But yeah,
Scott Benner 10:16
it was like, how long of a ride do you think that was that whole trip?
Brenda 10:19
Oh, goodness, who knows? I don't know if it was very long or not, but it was, it seemed like forever, but it was so exciting to go spend the time with my grandmother.
Scott Benner 10:29
Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, so your grandmother gave you diabetes. You gave diabetes to your brother. That's all very nice.
Brenda 10:34
And my brother gave it to his son. And actually then, and this is through the years, well, but going back, I came home and they saw me, and, you know, I have four older sisters, they had to trick me into going to the hospital. My sister was like, oh, you know, can you come with me? I have to go see, you know, I have an appointment. And I was like, Yeah, you know, I'm gonna go with you. And then she's like, I love you so much, but this is for you, which, you know, I say I was eight years old, which I was, but apparently I was, like, a very strong eight year old, or at that point going on, you know, eight and a half going on to nine. I was admitted into the hospital through the emergency room with my sister. I'm like, why am I in the emergency room. I was in the hospital for a month, a month, wow, yeah, they, they says, If I would have waited a day more, I would have went into a coma. And I was admitted into the hospital. Was in ICU, and I remember looking there, and it was near, you know, I looked out the window and there was, like, this huge building with a swimming pool next on top of it, and I'm just laying there, like, Are you kidding me? And the nurses would come in and she would if the blood flowed back, these are the things I remembered into my tube from IV. She would wrap it around the pen so it would go the other way. And I just hated that. I was like, oh, here this nurse comes again.
Scott Benner 12:08
Were you like, an incredibly strong willed kid? Like, why did they have to fool you into going,
Brenda 12:13
yes, and that hasn't changed. Okay, it's interesting
Scott Benner 12:17
because you're like, you're mild monitored when you're speaking. But the incongruous. Oh yeah,
Brenda 12:22
no, I the youngest of five. I cried and basically got everything I wanted. I was spoiled. They all loved me. Yeah, that's
Scott Benner 12:30
what they told you. Huh? That's what they told me. So let's kind of like zip around a little bit here for a second, because we'll get back to the diabetes diagnosis in a second. But what about those next nine years made you feel like I need to get married the second it's okay make babies and live a whole life, because I'm out of here fast. Did they tell you that the brand new twist insulin pump offers peace of mind with unmatched personalization and allows you to target a glucose level as low as 87 there are more reasons why you might be interested in checking out twist, but just in case, that one got you twist.com/juicebox, that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. You can target glucose levels between 87 and 180 it's completely up to you. In addition to precision insulin delivery that's made possible by twist design, twist also offers you the ability to edit your carb entries even after you've bolused. This gives the twist loop algorithm the best information to make its decisions with, and the twist loop algorithm lives on the pump, so you don't have to stay next to your phone for it to do its job. Twist is coming very soon, so if you'd like to learn more or get on the wait list, go to twist.com/juicebox that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Links in the show notes. Links at Juicebox podcast.com Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the mini med 780 G system, the mini med 780 G automated insulin delivery system anticipates, adjusts and corrects every five minutes. Real world results show people achieving up to 80% time and range with recommended settings without increasing lows. But of course, Individual results may vary. The 780 G works around the clock, so you can focus on what matters. Have you heard about Medtronic extended infusion set? It's the first and only infusion set labeled for up to a seven day wear. This feature is repeatedly asked for, and Medtronic has delivered 97% of people using the 780 G reported that they could manage their diabetes without major disruptions of sleep. They felt more free to eat what they wanted, and they felt less stress with fewer alarms and alerts you can't beat that. Learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes by visiting. Tronic diabetes.com/juicebox,
Brenda 15:03
no, that was just me. You know, that's that's why I'm so incredibly just thankful for everything that you do, everything that technology and medicine has done. Because I didn't know anybody who had diabetes. I didn't know anything about it. No one in my family had it back then. I was like, wow, I have this. And I just thought this was going to be the end of my life, like I didn't want to tell anybody. I hid it when I was in school, and it was just like this black shadow that was over me. And, I mean, I look back at it now and think that, wow, I was, like, in a really bad state of depression, and didn't even know
Scott Benner 15:50
it as a little kid. Yes, yeah, it was just what you could imagine was that this is gonna shorten and ruin my life.
Brenda 15:58
Oh, most definitely. Okay.
Scott Benner 16:00
Okay. Did you ever tell anybody to your recollection that that's how you felt? I had
Brenda 16:06
a best friend. I had obviously told her, and she was with me a lot, but I just didn't want anybody to know. I didn't want them not to like me. I didn't want to be different. I just wanted to fit in and lo and behold. Thank goodness my mom actually did, and my dad, they talked about it. They sent me to a diabetic camp, I think, when I was 12, and that, I wish they would have sent me sooner. And I told tell everybody. Now, if your child becomes a diabetic, the first opportunity they have to send them to a diabetic camp, send
Scott Benner 16:49
them. Why? Tell people what it did.
Brenda 16:53
Oh, my God, it was amazing. There was, I was not the only one. There's other people out there, and it was so nice to actually meet other kids and, you know, learn how to counter cards and learn how to weigh your food. And back then, it wasn't, you know, all this technology, and it was more manual. You had to, you know, do everything pee on a stick, you know. I mean, they have that too, but it's just, it was just such an amazing experience that I was not this just individual that was the only one on the face of the earth.
Scott Benner 17:30
So you felt isolated or alone for four years, pretty much okay. And was that a 24/7 feeling, or did it come and go,
Brenda 17:40
you know, I think it probably just came and went. You know, every time you would get a low or every time you had to test your blood or take a shot. Because, you know, when you're on four shots a day, you have to test your blood before breakfast. You're doing breakfast, lunch and dinner. It wasn't like, you know, one shot a day, yeah, and it was a lot, or every time you ate, and it was just like, oh, I can't do this. I was just like, I just can't do this for the rest of my life. How am I ever going to
Scott Benner 18:11
do this? Right? And then I guess, growing up in a world where people would put an eight year old on a bus to go to a bus, to go to a bus, they weren't helping you with all this diabetes stuff, my imagining,
Brenda 18:21
oh, you know what? My mom, she in order for me, I'll never forget this, in order for me to leave the hospital, she had to be able to learn how to give me a shot. She actually took the needle out and accidentally jabbed herself, and they rushed her down to the emergency room to give her a tetanus shot. And I told the doctors. I was like, my mom is amazing. Such my mother was such a strong, amazing, beautiful woman with seven kids. And, you know, my dad worked all the time, so it was a lot. I think for her, it was just a lot, yeah, and I was like, You guys have to let me go. Like, look, I know how to do this. If I'm passed out, she can give me the shot. I don't care, but please don't let her give me a shot. We were practicing on oranges, and, you know, we were doing things, and she was just, she was so heartbroken and destroyed that I was sick. It just, I think, really, really devastated
Scott Benner 19:26
her. Yeah, did it hit her again when your brother was diagnosed? Or,
Brenda 19:30
oh yes, it was a double, I think it was a double whammy for her, and he was the youngest. He was number seven, okay, so at that time, you know, probably 12 years between my brother and myself from being diagnosed, she, he was mama's boy. He,
Scott Benner 19:51
you know, was he older when he was diagnosed, then
Brenda 19:55
he was older, yeah, and it was hard for the teenage boy because. He just, you know, teenage boy. He didn't have time for that.
Scott Benner 20:05
Do you have a feeling for how old your mom was when you were diagnosed? Late maybe
Brenda 20:10
early 50s? So she had kids earlier as well, late 40s. Oh, yeah, she had, she had kids early, okay, okay, even maybe late 40s. Yeah, she, you know, figure she
Scott Benner 20:19
had seven of us. What kind of insulin did you start with
Brenda 20:23
pork insulin, which I was allergic to, and I broke out in hives all over my body. They we figured that out. Then they had put me on beef insulin, and that was back in the day. That goes to show you how long ago this was, yeah, and that was a scene within itself. I'm like, Oh, my, it was just like everything. It was like, Really, now I'm allergic to this medicine. Yeah, this medicine is supposed to save my life, and now you're telling me I can't take this, and they have to figure out a different one. And you know,
Scott Benner 20:56
how did the the other things stack up? Did they come slowly over time, the thyroid, ra, stuff like that. Oh
Brenda 21:03
yeah, all of that was, you know, over time, throughout the duration of me getting older, I can tell you, I'm, like, the healthiest person around
Scott Benner 21:13
you. Just have these issues. Yes, that's how you think
Brenda 21:17
about I have these issues. Yeah, they're like, they're issues. But you know what, I'm here. I'm strong. I think the minute that you allow you have to welcome anything that, whatever you believe in, you know, gives you, you just have to welcome it, because the last thing you want to do is be against whatever you have, because it's not going to work. You can't you can't fight it. Don't fight it. I hate to
Scott Benner 21:48
say it is just what it is, right? Like, this is your reality. You're either going to, like, find a way to exist with it, or you're going to be fighting against it forever. Yeah,
Brenda 21:56
and, you know, I think it was until I went to the diabetic camp that really, really, really made me strong. No kidding, that I think that was
Scott Benner 22:09
huge. Do you still have friends from camp? No, no. Okay, so All right, now I'm gonna take what's gonna seem like a weird pivot for a second, but that boy who you snooker to end up making you pregnant when you were 17 or you 17. Are you still with
Brenda 22:24
him? We were in love, got married, had an amazing life, had two children. He is currently my ex
Scott Benner 22:31
husband. Currently, are you thinking of letting him back?
Brenda 22:35
Yeah, oh, no, never. You have to understand. And it's it's hard for people when you get divorced, we have a mutual bond. We have two grown adult children. We have grandchildren. You have to be a good human. You know, this person, we were together, and it didn't work out over the years. I mean, we were together for a lot of years, and we everybody's like, Oh, because you were young, and it was like, No, it just no longer worked, yeah.
Scott Benner 23:06
How long did you make it 14 years? Okay, wow. So you were 31 when you got divorced, yeah.
Brenda 23:13
Then I was a single mom, okay?
Scott Benner 23:15
And you had two kids at that point. Did you ever get remarried?
Brenda 23:18
No, but I'm been with the same individual for almost 30 years now. No kidding. Oh, that's interesting, yeah, literally, like, maybe six months later, I was very, very fortunate, and I met another gentleman, and he's just spectacular. And, you
Scott Benner 23:39
know, not lovely How about that? Well, okay, and you and your ex have kept a close relationship this entire time because of the connection
Brenda 23:48
in mutual my, my children's graduations, it's like, high, high, you know, weddings or parties, you can't be be like, oh, you know, they're terrible. They're wonderful. I was in love with this person at one point in my life, yeah, I have children with them, you know? So it's like, it's it Life is life. He's remarried. Has an amazing, beautiful wife. They have children. You know? It's life is good. You have to, to accept whatever, whatever comes your way. Okay? And you don't wish, I don't wish ill on anyone?
Scott Benner 24:21
Do your children have any issues? You said your brother's son has type one, but what about your kids? The contour next gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contour, next.com/juicebox, you're going to find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite, aid, Kroger and Meijer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter. Meter, then you would pay through my link for the contour next gen and contour next test strips in cash. What am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now, even with your insurance, and I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that, but what I can say for sure is that the contour next gen meter is accurate, it is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Contour next.com/juicebox and if you already have a contour meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the Juicebox Podcast link will help to support the show.
Brenda 25:39
I pray every day. Neither one of my children have diabetes nor my grandchildren. Okay, my son has two teenage daughters, and my daughter has a three year old and a two month old every day. You know they. Everybody knows the signs and my niece, which is my sister's sons, his son, two years ago, became a diabetic. Okay, you know, so we have, I have a nephew. I have, and my brother's son became one. So we have two boys on our side. So right now,
Scott Benner 26:16
yeah, yeah, when your kids were getting Do you have, I'm sorry, do you have girls or a mix. I have a I have One boy, one girl, okay, when they're dating. Do you find yourself thinking like, hey, ask about that person's background. Let's see if they've got any autoimmune over there. And you know, maybe we'll avoid that if we
Brenda 26:32
know. Well, my kids are grown. My son is Chicago firemen, and my daughter lives in California, and it has an amazing job. And, you know they No, I never, I never did that. But I have to tell you, two days ago, I was at a graduation open house, and I was sitting down, and I overheard my niece talking to this boy, and he was like, his like, he went to go get a soda. And she's like, No, that's a regular he needs a regular one because his sugar is low. And of course, right away I jump up and I walk over. I was like, Hi. I was like, and I was like, Leah, what's what's going on? And she said, Oh, you know, my boyfriend's a diabetic. And I was like, I didn't know that. And then I had showed I was giving him an experience, and I was like, oh, you know, I'm her aunt, and I've been diabetic, and so we just start talking, and this young boy has only been a diabetic for two years. He was, what, 16. There's so many kids nowadays that are being diagnosed with diabetes. I thought
Scott Benner 27:39
you're gonna say everybody has diabetes now, yes, it's
Brenda 27:44
a little bit scary, but also, I think about everything that they have, and all the tools, all the resources, like I wish, I wish I would have had half of the amount of information that is out there now and support. I mean, I look at myself and I'm like, Wow, I'm 57 and I've lived an amazing life. Yes, I've had all of these things happen to me, but I am so thankful I'm still here.
Scott Benner 28:19
It's funny, at one point you called your life the duration of my life. And then you said, just now you're like, I've lived an amazing life. You say it like you're older. You're really not very old. Is it that background feeling that you thought you weren't going to live very long that makes you feel like you've been around a long time? I
Brenda 28:35
look at it this way, you have a car. What you have to do your regular maintenance. You have to change the oil, and you have to take it to the mechanic and check it out. But eventually, you know, after 100 and something 1000 miles that car is, you're gonna have to get a new car. I just tell people you have your body, use the resources that you have. Don't blame your doctor if you don't feel good. There is not one body that is the same. Obviously, you know, you go to your doctor and they're they're gonna do what they were taught. But everybody reacts different, and everybody's body is so different. What works for one. May not work for the other, but you have to be your own advocate, and you have to take care of yourself. You have to take care of your body. I mean, you have to, I wish, I wish I would have eaten a little healthier back in the day. You know that I started doing that, what in my 40s, you know? And it was like, I shouldn't maybe have done that in my 20s. Did you have to be your own advocate? Take care of yourself. Take your medicine. When your pump is going off, if you wear a pump, eat. Don't put it off like, you know, you have these settings. You have all these tools and resources, use it because you will enhance your life and live longer.
Scott Benner 30:06
Brenda, have you always been like that? Or is it a thing you came to because all you've really described right now, which, by the way, it's basically my job to say over and over again, don't people listen? But like you're just doing the things you're supposed to do, and you're having good outcomes because of it. Is what I'm hearing. So like, but were you always that person? Oh,
Brenda 30:26
absolutely not. Okay, absolutely not. As a teenager, I would walk around and I mean, oh, there was, I know, I had passed out. I have like, a mark on my tooth, and I'm like, Oh yeah, that was my mother, because she thought I was going to swallow my tongue, and I just passed out. And she thought I was having a seizure, and I wasn't having a seizure. I just passed out from low blood sugar. She thought. She was like, you know, something
Scott Benner 30:51
in your mouth, yeah, awesome. I was
Brenda 30:56
like, oh yeah. I came to, you know, I have, I have stories of me passing out on a CTA bus because I wanted to go shopping, and I was with, you know, a friend, and I was like, in such a great mood, and I wanted to go shopping and I didn't want, you know, I passed out and I woke up and I was in The hospital, and I was like, oh my goodness, what happened?
Scott Benner 31:24
Wait, go back. You didn't want what Brenda. You wanted to go shopping, and you didn't want what to be I didn't want
Brenda 31:30
my friend to know that my blood sugar was going down. So I was just like, trying to push through a low. I was like, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And lo and behold, I won't wake up, and I was in an ambulance and they took me to the hospital.
Scott Benner 31:44
If only you could just push through a low blood sugar. That would be awesome for everybody. I know, I know, but you knew that, right?
Brenda 31:51
I knew that, yeah, of course. Well, the terrible thing was, the ambulance driver told me, I'm like, I can't go to the hospital. I'm gonna get in trouble. Like, just, please let me go home. And they're like, No, you, since I passed out on a CTA bus, they were like, there was all these legality things. And they're like, No, we have to take you. I'm at the hospital, and I'm like, please, I gotta get out of here. Like, I can't be here. I'm like, did you tell them? I know I was
Scott Benner 32:20
on my way to Woolworths. It
Brenda 32:24
was actually learner,
Scott Benner 32:26
no, I almost said Montgomery Ward, just in case you're wondering. No, there you go, scouring my brain for the names of old retail stores that I could find. When does it get easier for you? Like, is it technology? Is it insulin improving? Or what do you remember as the first, like, step up
Brenda 32:42
an insulin pump? Pump was the pump was just a miracle worker. It was just unbelievable that. Well, I mean, I had my fair share too. I just had the pump put on, and I was excited. I was sitting down, and I forgot I had it on. I picked it up, and I, like, threw some blankets, and I had it in my hand, and it went flying out of my body. And I'm like, oh yeah, this isn't going to work. I'm not going to stick myself again. You know, I look at, you know, different things on Facebook, and I see all these infants with diabetes, and I'm like, Oh my goodness. Like, how would a parent ever take care of a child without a sensor, without a pump? Like, how is that even possible? I just it's crazy. My nephew, my sister's grandson, his mom's name is Rachel, and I every day, I just look at her, and I'm like, You are an angel. You have given your son all the tools, all the resources you've you've given him everything that he needs to be the best diabetic he can be. And she's supported him. She looks things up. She was the one who actually told me about your podcast. And I was like, Oh my goodness. Like she just, there's, there's so much out there. And she, he is a teenager, and he plays sports, and he's like, the head of everything. He's on this traveling soccer team. He's been, I just look at him, and I was like, wow. Like he
Scott Benner 34:27
is successful, yeah. But Brenda, hold on, don't you think of you, your life as a success.
Brenda 34:31
I look at is this success as, don't want to say a warrior, because I fought so much through my life, of kind of sometimes feeling like I was out there on my own, even though I had older sisters, everybody was busy with their own stuff, and my mom was busy with so many things, and everybody had so much, and I just felt like I was there on my own. So for me, I was successful. So when I got older and when I got a pump, I mean, I was successful, that I made it through all of my lows that I bought and all that. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm good. I don't need anything, you know,
Scott Benner 35:12
so you so you live through the first terrible part, and then you got to the pump, and things got better. But I still wonder, though, like, listen, I understand, but like, and I'm, I'm trying to figure out how you're going from saying, My life's been a very big success, I'm doing really well, to, I can't believe it, you know, how would these people live nowadays without this thing? Like, why do you have that dual feeling?
Brenda 35:32
Because there were times and points where I was working, I actually worked and passed out. I worked a double I passed out, and I woke up in an ambulance, and I was like, Oh, my God, I gotta get up. I gotta they're like, oh, we gotta take you to the hospital. I'm like, No, I gotta get in. I open tomorrow, you know. And if I had all of this technology when I was younger, it would have, I just think, made me even stronger, more better to control
Scott Benner 36:06
myself. You think easier is easier, a word that you would put to this, or it would
Brenda 36:10
have been so much easier. All right, it would have been so much easier.
Scott Benner 36:16
But as far as health outcomes go, like diabetes wise, do you have any issues. I mean, you had trigger finger and, like, was that from, like, higher a one CS, vacillating blood sugars?
Brenda 36:28
No, that was just from work. I worked for a company that was very manual labor, and all of that was from that the frozen shoulders was from the diabetes. That was a given. That's what was told to me from that. And the cancer was just breast cancer, you know. And I walked in, I was like, I really don't have time for this. So can we just do what we got to do? Because I just don't have time for this to go on. And the woman, the nurse, was like, Do you need to see a counselor. I said, No, and I'm laughing at her, and she goes, You're like the happiest cancer patient I ever met. I said, Well, you know what? I either knew I was going to die of diabetes or cancer from all the artificial stuff I've put in my body throughout my whole life. I said, So what choice do I have? Did you
Scott Benner 37:20
think because you were taking insulin, something else was gonna happen? No, all the artificial sweeteners. Oh, that's what you're talking about. Oh, okay, like
Brenda 37:29
the saccharines the Sweet and Low. I mean, I used to put 10 Sweet and Low in my coffee, you know, because it wasn't sweet enough. And I would always have, you know, sugar free gum, diet soda and all of this is like, Oh, if you drink this, you're gonna end up with cancer. Well, you know, I don't believe that that was the reason I got this. I was definitely genetics. But back in the days, you know, I'm thinking all of that,
Scott Benner 37:58
yeah, no, I understand. It's been a bit of a whirlwind for you, really, you know, a lot has happened to you in, I mean, what I would consider to be still a short amount of time, you know, like, I mean, 50 years, it's half a lifetime or more, maybe, right? But still, like, the diagnosis at eight and being like, drugged to the hospital because you're hard headed, and then launching into a life that you know goes on for 14 years. Then you get divorced, but you're, you know, you're still friendly with people, and you meet somebody else, and you keep going and like, there's a lot has like, Does it ever occur to you that you've been through a great deal sometimes, yeah, do you think that you're okay. Ready for a difficult question? Brenda, hi. Let me have it. Do you really think you're happy, or do you think you're covering? You know
Brenda 38:49
what, happy in life, or happy with diabetes?
Scott Benner 38:53
Your overall presentation is really upbeat, which is awesome. But are you actually upbeat, or are you projecting upbeat? I'm actually upbeat. No kidding, that's awesome. Anybody ever in your family line experience any depression or anything like that?
Brenda 39:08
I think my father, I would say my father, okay, went through
Scott Benner 39:13
depression, diagnosed and treated or something. He
Brenda 39:17
now, you know, back in the days, I don't think they ever really diagnosed anything? Yeah,
Scott Benner 39:23
okay, all right. I've asked that question before, and people are like, I am really just pretending. So I just wanted to make sure. I just went to double check
Brenda 39:30
I truly, you know what I look at myself, and I'm like, wow, I think back. I'm like, I really didn't think I was going to be here past 50. And I'm like, I am, and I'm so I'm so fortunate and so blessed that I can garden or work, and, you know, I just recently retired, and I just I enjoy my life, I enjoy my family, I enjoy my friends. I'm very. Very, very, very, very happy and very blessed to be able to do all that I do. You're living. I'm living now, probably the last five years, I'm living. And I think it changed a little bit after I got cancer. How? Because I had when I was first in my brain, I was like, okay, no matter what they do, this is here. It's gonna get me. Let's just do whatever I can do, and this is it. And I was like, okay, like, I didn't let it overtake me. And I was like, Okay. And I actually have a video of myself, and I looked at it the other day because I was telling somebody, oh, yeah, whatever, I had cancer. And she's like, what? And I'm like, Yeah, I would go down to my treatments, and I'm like, the tunnel of death, because you would walk it's in the basement for treatments, and it's all dark and dreary until you get to the cancer part, where they are, like, doing the treatments, then it's all lively and beautiful. And I'm like, why would you not have this from the minute you get off the elevator? Why would you just have it at the down at the end of the hall? Yes, and I actually told one of the nurses, so I video recorded myself coming out of the elevator, and I was like, the tunnel of death, and I was just cracking up. So I keep thinking that to myself, like, wow, you know,
Scott Benner 41:29
put a light out there. Brenda. Are you telling me that you were so convinced that you were going to die because of diabetes that you looked up and you're like, Ah, I have cancer. And then you were just like, I guess maybe I'm not gonna die. Did the cancer snap you out of feeling like your life was short? And is this a weird story where I think, yeah,
Brenda 41:49
in a in a crazy way, yeah, like the diabetes was there, and it was like, Oh, that was like, always like, oh, okay, I have diabetes. I'm good. I'm gonna live. I'm gonna die. What's going on with me? And like, uh, and then once I got the cancer, I was like, Oh, I think this is a little bit worse than having the diabetes.
Scott Benner 42:09
Like, Wait, did cancer give you perspective?
Brenda 42:13
Slightly, okay, slightly. And then I was like, Okay, well, I said I'm gonna die of either one of the two. I beat the one. You should stop saying that, living with the other one well, but I this is in my head. This is what you know my whole life. So I says, Well, wow, you know, and, and I'm still living. So let's just go with this, like I'm living this. Let's keep living.
Scott Benner 42:38
I might not die. I should probably just feel
Brenda 42:44
like to travel now. I just travel. I just enjoy life. I want
Scott Benner 42:49
to try to go backwards and walk forwards as best you can with your outcomes, like year after year. Do you know what your a one, Cs were, or what your goals were?
Brenda 42:57
Oh, my goal was always to be whatever the doctor told me what was back in the day? It was back in the day, it was always to be a six, really. That was back then. Now it's a five. Of course, they lowered it. What years ago they would always tell you, like you should be around here.
Scott Benner 43:16
Well, that's not what Ada was saying, though, like when my daughter was diagnosed, it was an eight, and then they moved it to a seven. I think it's still at a seven now, like through ADA or something, so like, your doctors were more aggressive about
Brenda 43:27
it, yeah, more aggressive, yeah.
Scott Benner 43:30
And did they give you tools to reach those numbers, or did they just give you the goal and say, good luck. Figure it out. Oh,
Brenda 43:36
a sliding scale. You know, if your sugars are here, you have to, you know, if it's in between this, I was, I would hate to have to have my I'd have my little paper sliding scale in my little couch with my needles and my, you know, everything. And it was like, Oh, heck. Was this ever gonna stop? And when I would go and not get the A, 1c, that I would want, I'm like, Well, I'm following the sliding scale. Like, what do you mean? I'm not wearing back or, you
Scott Benner 44:04
know, two things here. I have been doing this for such a long time, and I know, pragmatically, what the sliding scale is, but I don't think it ever occurred to me that somebody had a piece of paper in their pocket where they slid something back and forth to line up some lines to make a decision with. But that's what you had. Yeah, wow. I know what sliding scale is. I just never put it together like that. There'd be a card in your so you're like, an outfielder shifting. We like, you pull it out and see which batter is coming up, and then you make your decision.
Brenda 44:32
That's bad, you know? And I look at it, and that's what I said, is I, I see all the technology now, and I'm just go back and I'm like, wow, I didn't have it really. I didn't have it that easy. Who anybody who is not a successful diabetic? Shame on you. Shame on you, because you could be. You just need the support of other people. But the technology is there.
Scott Benner 44:57
It's so much more advanced than what. You had it feels like to you, if you're not taking advantage of it, like, through your lens, it's just, it's a shame,
Brenda 45:06
yes, Yeah, most definitely, most definitely.
Scott Benner 45:10
So your goals were lower, but were your outcomes there? Or, like, Do you know what your a one Cs were through your lifetime? Oh,
Brenda 45:16
no. I mean, now I'm at like a six, and which is too high. I should be lower. But the thing that I have a retina specialist, and I have my regular eye doctor, and whenever I go to the eye doctor, they're like, Wow, I cannot believe that your eyes are so great. I wish you could talk to some of our diabetic patients that are in their 20s, that are like, going to lose their eyesight because they haven't taken care of themselves, yeah? But
Scott Benner 45:47
what would you tell them? You use the piece of paper, slide it back and forth, and then get a pump when they're available,
Brenda 45:52
yeah? You know, it's in just told the eye doctor. I was like, You know what it truly is, just you have to do the best you can do, which with whatever available to you at that time. Yeah, I mean, I in there, and you know what, it is a shame, because some people cannot afford a pump. And you know the way the insurance is, some people can't afford even insulin. And it's, it's our system is with any anything in the health care. We do need health but it's a shame that every time you go pick up your medicine, you know, they're like, Oh, how many times you test your blood sugar? And I'm like, don't ask me that at the pharmacy. Give me whatever the doctor wrote the prescription for. I'm like, you know, I test my blood six times a day, so I know how much insulin to take. Like, what do you want from me? You know, you
Scott Benner 46:48
test your blood sugar. Who are you exactly? Give me the bottle? Yes,
Brenda 46:53
and it's the go through these different things in life, and you're just like, like, I don't want to sit there and explain my whole everything again to a new doctor, because back in the day, they didn't have their technology, of their computers, you wouldn't you press a button and you get your whole life history, you would have to sit there and tell everybody everything, and it's like, oh, technology. I
Scott Benner 47:16
feel like I've heard you tell me a handful of times here, whatever you have at your disposal, use it and do your best. And that's what you should be doing with diabetes. If it's a pump, if it's a piece of paper in your pocket, if it's a CGM, take advantage of what you have the opportunity to take advantage of. Do the things you're supposed to do. Take care of yourself. Your body's the most important thing,
Brenda 47:38
and do not feel sorry for yourself, okay?
Scott Benner 47:42
Meaning, this is what it is. Make the best of it. Keep going.
Brenda 47:47
Yes. I mean, you, you, everybody has their moment, and you know, you talk about depression, you're going to be sad. You're going to do that, and that's okay. Take an hour, let yourself feel that way, and then get up, wipe off your knees and start going like, you know, if you allow yourself to be in that mode of poor me, you will never succeed in life or in diabetes or in anything.
Scott Benner 48:16
How many times do you think you've had to sit down and take your hour.
Brenda 48:21
Oh, lots. Okay, even, you know, and I am upbeat and I am happy, but back when I was younger, before I became strong, and before I was like, hey, you know, do this. And that's one of the great things about you with your podcast, that if anyone out there is listening? It is okay. You are going to feel sad diabetic Awareness month in November, and then I have cancer awareness month in October. So October and November, thank goodness we weren't talking, because I'm not as chirpy during those two months. You know, because I do have my moments, I'll take my hour, but now it's maybe once a month.
Scott Benner 49:04
Do you literally just sit and wallow for a half a second and then tell yourself to get back up
Brenda 49:09
again? Pretty much? Yeah, it depends on what it is like when my sensor, if I put it in, it doesn't
Scott Benner 49:16
work, and it's, you know, and you're like, this thing
Brenda 49:19
exactly. And so I'll have my moment, and I'll be like, You know what? I'm just done. I'm just done. So yeah, you have, you have to have those
Scott Benner 49:28
No, no, of course. But talk about for a second, why? How come when this, you know, when your CGM doesn't do what you wanted to do for a second, why isn't your next thought? I used to have a piece of paper in my pocket, and this thing is awesome, and, yeah, technology is not great, so I'm just gonna put
Brenda 49:45
this when it breaks, it's it's not supposed to break so flustered, or it happens at the wrong time, or if I'm at work and I go around the corner and it bumps off my shoulder and it's now. Yeah. Like, really, can you tell me when
Scott Benner 50:01
would a good time be? Never, yeah. Why? Because I hear people say that all the time. It always happens at the worst time. Like, well, when would a good time be for your CGM to expire? Randomly. This might be in an episode somewhere, but Martin got tonsillitis, really, really badly, and she they put her on antibiotic didn't work. They put on another antibiotic didn't work. They moved her a thick and we were like, oh, like, she's, she's on her way, like, it was really bad, and we ended up because, you know how the timing always goes right, like it's always, it's always the weekend when you figure out you're screwed, and then, like, you know, so we're in the emergency room getting an IV antibiotic, and we don't even go till nine o'clock on a Sunday night. So 330 in the morning, we're driving home, and she says, any food? Anything? Just anything. And I'm like, Okay, there's a Burger King, like an oasis out in front of us, all lit up and nothing else, like it was dark food. We go through the drive through, it's so late that the lady the drive through looks at you like, Yo, I'm mopping the floors. Like, you want one of these burgers. You know, we grab food. And I said to her, well, let's just sit here in the parking lot and eat it, because, you know, if this cools off, we're gonna remember that it's not food. Like, let's just try to get it in while we can pretend it tastes good. And she's like, Okay, so we're off to the side. And she's like, What? This is horrible. And I was like, I know. Like, she's like, but we're eating it and we're happy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, everyone's been drunk in a we weren't drunk, but drunk in a parking lot, eating crappy food at some point,
Brenda 51:31
right exactly at some points. Thank God it's not a White Castle. Okay, so we're
Scott Benner 51:35
eating and eating, and we're just complaining the whole way, it's not good. I don't want this blah, blah, but we ate it, and then we kind of settled for a second. We were talking, and she's very sick, like, really beat up, and plus the last six hours, and I swear to God, she goes, Oh my God, my CGM just tired. We started laughing. We're like, oh my god, yeah, that makes total sense. So I was like, All right, well, we'll just go home. You can swap it before we go to bed. So we drive the next 10 minutes and we get home, it's quarter 410, or four in the morning. Now, like we didn't get up in the morning thinking we were going to the hospital. So now you know exactly, yeah, right. And I don't know if any of you've ever had this where Dexcom had issues, I feels like with g7 off and on, where you like, sometimes you go to inject it, and the like, the little wire, instead of going into you, pops out at the top of the CGM, right? I mean, it's, it's almost four o'clock in the morning. We're standing in our kitchen. We're still disgusted with ourselves that we ate whatever that thing was, they told us was chicken nuggets, and she clicks it. You know, she's her pants are down, she clicks it on Dexcom is gonna be like, you're supposed to put it on your arm. Well, guess what? And the wire pops out. You ever seen a marionette like when somebody lets go with the strings? Oh, my goodness. She just was like, and she sat there, and I went, it's okay, take it off and put on another one. Like it's okay,
Brenda 53:06
but it's just that thought of having to put on another one well, and this is terrible, but luckily, you were able to see it. I was unaware that that actually happens, until it happened, and until I pulled it off, and until I seen that it didn't go in, and then it happened again. So knowing that that happened, and you were able to do it, instead of having to wait
Scott Benner 53:33
the process to find out it's not going to turn off. Oh, poor thing. I do want to be clear like Arden's been using g7 since the very beginning, I'm big fan of it, and she is as well. But that's probably happened to her four times in those like, I mean, it's probably been over two years now, there's an argument to be made for like, maybe we should make it so that doesn't happen. And maybe there's an argument through me that it's a thing that's going to happen with the design. Like, I have
Brenda 53:56
absolutely no idea. I do use the g7 as well. So it is a thing. It does happen, and it does happen at the worst times. But
Scott Benner 54:04
also, my perspective is she doesn't have a piece of paper in her pocket that she's sliding back and forth. Like, like, I could go on a different tangent, like, I know that for most of you have been diagnosed more recently. You know you were given the thing. The thing's supposed to do something. It doesn't do it. You get very upset about it. I would always ask you to put yourself in Brenda's shoes and remember that at one point she was using insulin that they called beef, and the she couldn't use the pork because it gave her hives. Just shut up and put on another Dexcom, exactly. But it's not lost on me how, like, horrible it is when it happens. And the thing that I really want to, like, dig into is that in that moment, I hope Arden is never gonna know how much it breaks my heart to just say to her, like, It's okay, just put on another one, because I want to look at her and go, this is fcking terrible, isn't it? Like this whole goddamn fcking thing that happened to you is just terrible. That's not what that moment. Needs, you know what I mean, like, so I say it's okay. Just grab another one, put it on. We'll call them. We'll get them to send us a new one. Like, you go through that whole thing. But I know in her head she's just like, thinking, this is terrible, this whole goddamn thing that
Brenda 55:14
happened is she a teenager. She's 2020,
Scott Benner 55:18
yeah, so, and she's not wrong, by the way, that's the irony. This whole thing is, I'm not wrong and she's not wrong, but
Brenda 55:27
no, it's it just sucks. Yeah, it just sucks. And there are moments like that where it just sucks. No, just 1,000,000%
Scott Benner 55:35
you know, it's funny, but it makes me feel I was watching a Star Wars TV show last night before I went to bed. I don't want to bore everybody with which one it was, but it was everybody which one it was, but it was andor. And there's this guy that finds himself in the middle of a like in a town square in a revolution that he didn't know was about to happen. And there's this interesting moment on his face when he realizes that five seconds before he did not mean to be here in this fight, but that he was and is now, and now he has to react according to the reality he's been given, and he doesn't take time to wallow in the fact that if he would have made seven left turns instead of seven right turns, he'd be somewhere else, and this wouldn't be happening to him right now. Like there's something about when there's a shift in your life, like you said it earlier, like you can, like, stand there and fight with the reality that you're in, or you can just, I don't know if it's go with it or do the best you can with it. I'm not sure exactly what the verbiage is around it, but I'm that's what I'm taking from you, which is just like, get on the surfboard and go where the wave takes you.
Brenda 56:41
That is definitely a true, true statement. I mean, I look at myself, I got married really young, had my children because, you know, I wanted to have a family. Did the whole thing was a general manager did everything like you can lead an amazing, wonderful, productive life having diabetes, as long as you work with it and not against it. And everything that falls, like I said, everything that still fell on my lap, you just have to keep pushing yourself. Is is terrible in there. There were many, many, many terrible incidences. I mean, I totaled my car. My son was away in the Navy, and he was home for the weekend, and he had to come and find me, you know, and it's there. There were just so many different incidences before I was on a pump that, you know, I had, it's, it's a wonder I'm still alive.
Scott Benner 57:56
But you choose to remember life differently, though. Yes,
Brenda 57:59
yeah. Well, I, you know, I have to remember everything that I did. And yes, it was a struggle. I mean, I remember telling my children, which, this is not a bad thing to do. Well, now, you know a lot of people that have technology, but I remember having candy in my son's pocket and telling him, honey, if Mommy doesn't feel good, and she tells you, give mommy the candy. Okay? Because, yeah, I remember, and going back to Burger King, walking in there with my son, and I'm like, Excuse me. I'm like, I'm I need to order, but I know what I want to order, but it will like it won't come out. You don't feel well, can you please give me food? Yeah, I'll pay for I need food. Now, you know there were those incidences where, yeah, I've had lows and I can't even speak like I want, I know what I want to say, and it's just won't come out of my mouth because I was so
Scott Benner 59:01
low. And does that happen to you any longer with all this technology? Oh, no,
Brenda 59:05
no, no, no, no, but, but back in the day, when we didn't have this stuff, and you have to have something on you all the time, or, you know, you're at work and you're going to get off in 20 minutes, and you don't want to have to ask your supervisor, you know I need something, or, you know, you've already used all the candy in your pocket, and you just want to push through. I used to push through everything. That's a bad thing. That's definitely a bad thing. Don't push through it. Take care of yourself.
Scott Benner 59:35
Brenda, I do understand the desire, right? Like, like, to try to, like, find control. Like, I'm not gonna let this low happen, right? I like, I know you can't do that. Like, but like, I understand the desire to want to take control of your body and to say to yourself, like, I'm gonna do this, like, I can make this happen, and then, you know it's not gonna work. I swear, I sent Arden a text. She's like, cleaning her room and doing laundry. She's hustling. All over the place in the middle of the night, and I sent her a text. I'm like, You are totally gonna be low in 20 minutes. And she just ignored that. And then 20 minutes later, she's 65 diagonal down, and I hear her walk past my room to go downstairs. And then in the morning, there's a Juicebox and like, gummy bears on a chair that where she was, like, sitting. I'm past the part where I go, why didn't she listen? Because now it's funny, Brent, is that people would tell me, you know, you can't keep making this podcast forever. Your daughter's gonna get older. You're gonna stop learning stuff about diabetes. I'm just learning stuff about different stuff now. Now it's more about people. She's not hard headed, she's not dumb, she's not ignoring her diabetes. She's doing that thing you're describing. She's trying to find power over something that she's powerless
Brenda 1:00:46
with exactly. And you know what? It took me a very long time. And the crazier thing is, you have that, and you're looking at it, and you know,
Scott Benner 1:00:59
back in the day, they didn't have that, no, it just was gonna happen to you. I don't know you're it's just gonna happen to
Brenda 1:01:04
me, and I was just gonna be sick. And, you know, there was nobody that was gonna tell me, like, Hey, you're getting low. You know it was, it was just happening. How did
Scott Benner 1:01:16
it start? Like you felt a little hungry, and then before you could figure out if you were hungry or not, you felt a little woozy.
Brenda 1:01:22
Like, no, no. I could go all day without eating, and I would just be like, okay, whatever. Like, you know, I just,
Scott Benner 1:01:29
but no, no, Brenda. Does the does the onset of the low feel like hunger at first? No,
Brenda 1:01:34
my eyes twitch. It's not even feeling hungry. My eyes would like Twitch back a little bit, or I would get more energy. And I just wanted to, like, hurry up and do stuff before I just completely
Scott Benner 1:01:47
that's interesting. Wanted to drop Arden gets a little hungry right before it happens. And I think it's her body telling her, like, hey, get some carbs. Yeah. But then she just wants to react like a normal person. She's like, Oh, I'm hungry. And she starts thinking about, I'm like, and I look up and I'm like, like, it's the middle. Yeah, you're gonna get low. I've learned from talking to adults like you and others that she's going through a process that I can't speed her through. You just kind of be supportive during it. She is figuring things out as she goes. She's building on herself and getting better and better at taking care of herself, while maintaining some sort of a psychologically healthy balance around this whole thing. Brenda, it just occurred to me your oldest born is 40 years old. He will be 40 Yes, yeah. Is that interesting? Like, because, like you guys are. I know this is crazy, but if you were at 57 had a 40 year old friend, that wouldn't be crazy. I know you have almost similar life experiences. Is that, right
Brenda 1:02:49
when he went off to the Navy, and my daughter, what she was 16, she was going to go live with her dad, and she said it was just a lot for her, for me with the diabetes. And she's like, you know, I would always have to take care of, you know, you would always get sick and stuff. And I was like, You know what? He was buying a house. He was going to have a dog. It was going to be a wonderful, you know, little thing for her. I was like, You know what, honey. I go ahead, go enjoy, enjoy
Scott Benner 1:03:23
yourself. How hard was that? Oh, it
Brenda 1:03:26
was devastating and hard. Yeah, I think it was the best thing for her at that point, because I know it was hard for my kids when I were to get sick and, you know, they would see me and that that was rough with them growing up.
Scott Benner 1:03:43
I just made me think about my kids leaving. Great job. Brenda, good job.
Brenda 1:03:47
But you want them to, you know, grow their wings and fly. And it's, it was definitely rough. But my son, when he went away, he told a lot of his high school friends, you better take care of my mom. You know, I remember the first Mother's Day, his friends came and brought me stuff for Mother's Day. And he's like, we need angels. We need to make sure we check on you, you know, so you don't get sick. And if you're diabetic and you know, you need something, you call us
Scott Benner 1:04:14
that crazy. You're in your mid 30s at that point, and your kids are like, are older, and fly in the coop already. Wow. Yeah, no kidding, but you are with that guy at that point. Though, you're a guy you've been with for, for, oh
Brenda 1:04:26
yeah, but we were just not living together, sure? You know, dating, yep, and we're still, you know, still not married, still dating. I'm like, if it's not broke, don't fix it. It's 30 years. It's good.
Scott Benner 1:04:40
Can I ask you one last question? Sure. Do you do you think about getting older with diabetes and what that might mean? I
Brenda 1:04:46
think about it often. I look at some people and I I see them, and it's just like eyesight, so important. Go see a retina specialist. Yeah, it's so important to have your regular eye doctor, but your retina is the most important thing so you don't lose your eyesight. Walk every day. I actually, I'm not overweight or anything. I'm I'm like 155 pounds. So your weight, your the food you eat. You know you need to take care of yourself. Because even if you're sitting in your chair and you're raising your arms or you're doing some sort of exercise, you have to make sure that you oil your machine, change your oil. You know this is the car that you have. And if you do your regular oil changes and everything, it's going to ride a lot smoother. Will it eventually you need to buy a new car? Yes,
Scott Benner 1:05:49
yeah, they call that dead, but that's okay.
Brenda 1:05:53
It is what it is. But you know what? In the meantime, do your oil changes, change your windshield fluid, like make your car drive so you can get to work. Brenda,
Scott Benner 1:06:03
I appreciate you doing this. It's in my head, not lost on me, that like I don't know how to get the culmination of your experience and inject it back into younger people so that this doesn't need to be their experience. But I think that's pretty much the uphill battle of being human. Right is, how do you find a younger person and give them the perspective of an older person. And you're interesting because you're an older person in time, but not an older person in age. So much does that make sense? Yes, yeah. So anyway, listen to Brenda. She knows none of you are going to listen. I just want to say that now,
Brenda 1:06:36
learn from your own experience, but don't take too long. It's okay to learn. It's okay to clean your room and not listen to your dad. But if you did it yesterday, don't do it that way tomorrow. Don't get stuck because your dad does know
Scott Benner 1:06:53
better. Yes, you don't get stuck in the resistance, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, good luck. Good luck to all you about that. I don't know our we're very emotional. Obviously, human beings are very emotional, and emotions driven. And to watch people make decisions that they know are wrong but they still make is fascinating, you know. And, and I don't know how to stop it, but I do know that sharing stories like Brenda's hopefully will get somebody you know, over the finish line today, when they listen and on to that next part of their life that, uh, won't seem like such a fight against reality all the time. I don't know Anyway, this was very lovely of you to share like this. I appreciate it. Who made you come on here like you listen to this podcast.
Brenda 1:07:34
I do listen to this podcast, and it was my niece, which is my sister's daughter in law, her son who became a diabetic, and she just listens to you and she is she's amazing. She is such an advocate for diabetes. It's unbelievable. Her son, who is a teenager, he's play soccer. He is traveling all around the world. He's in high school. They're looking at colleges. They live in Michigan, and he has taken diabetes by the horns and has just will not let it do anything to him. He's just amazing. His name is Levi, and he is just strong and courageous. And his grandfather was diagnosed, and was diagnosed with he was very my my nephew was diagnosed with diabetes and was in the hospital, and his grandfather was in the hospital next door, passing away at the same point my nephew was diagnosed. And so not only did he struggle with just becoming a diabetic, but also losing his grandfather at the same time, a
Scott Benner 1:08:57
lot. So it really is a lot,
Brenda 1:08:59
and he is strong and courageous. And
Scott Benner 1:09:04
you know, I think everybody is honestly I think everybody, no matter what part of this journey they're on, you know, whether they've figured out the things you figured out, or they're still trying to figure them out, or if it takes them a week or a month or 10 years to figure these things out, I think everybody's courageous. I think getting up every morning and going is an act of courage. And you know,
Brenda 1:09:26
even it is, it is every day, every single day with diabetes, is a courageous
Scott Benner 1:09:34
day. Yeah, this ain't easy. Brenda,
Brenda 1:09:38
it's definitely not. But once again, if you have an opportunity anyone to send your child to a camp, do it. I don't advocate for any specific camp, but find one. Don't think there's not one near you. Go meet if you're do it, it's, it's, makes all the difference in a child.
Scott Benner 1:10:00
Held Awesome. All right. Well, I appreciate you sharing that. Thank you so much. Hold on one second for me. Okay,
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