#1573 How You Do
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Nurse Marissa navigates pneumonia, double T1D diagnoses, and family resilience while advocating smarter, empathic care.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
Marissa 0:15
I'm Marissa. I have two boys with type one diabetes. I'm also a nurse practitioner, and I still work as a registered nurse. If
Scott Benner 0:25
this is your first time listening to the Juicebox Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcast or Spotify, really, any audio app at all, look for the Juicebox Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold Beginnings The Diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom g7 the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juicebox, this episode is sponsored by the tandem Moby system, which is powered by tandems, newest algorithm control iq plus technology. Tandem Moby has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows, and is now available for ages two and up. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox
Marissa 1:47
I'm Marissa. I have two boys with type one diabetes. I'm also a nurse practitioner, and I still work as a registered nurse. You
Scott Benner 1:55
have two boys with type one How many kids do you have in total? I have
Marissa 1:59
three. How old are they? Like, where do they slot? So my oldest is now 17. He's the boy Eli Liam is 11. He's my middle boy, and then my daughter is nine.
Scott Benner 2:15
Okay, and how old were the boys when they were diagnosed? Well,
Marissa 2:19
Liam was diagnosed when he was four, so that was about seven years well, it was a little over seven years ago. He was four years old, and 13 months later, his older brother was diagnosed.
Scott Benner 2:29
Oh, no kidding, yeah. Oh, so different ages, but same time
Marissa 2:33
frame. Yeah, it was crazy. I couldn't even believe the second one
Scott Benner 2:36
you give the first one you believed. Okay,
Marissa 2:40
yeah, that's actually, I'm really grateful for that diagnosis. Tell me, to be honest, tell me about that. So I think that's what makes my story a little different. Because, I mean, even as a registered nurse, completely out of left field, so all the parents that feel bad that they didn't recognize their kid had type one diabetes. Like, don't feel bad. Like I had, you know, a long medical career, and I had no clue. Like, it was never, ever on my radar. Okay, but, um, so Liam was four. He had just started daycare slash preschool, and he'd gotten the flu, and the flu turned into pneumonia. You know how when kids have have fever, and then it goes away, they're like, up playing and stuff. So he did that for a few days. Well then he's kind of stopped, and he was just laying around. And so I started having, like, a really bad feeling. I noticed during the night he was kept kind of moaning in pain. And I was like, Okay, this is weird. He was sleeping on my right thankfully. I'm really glad that he was sleeping with me so I could kind of be aware of this. So I thought, Okay, I'm calling into work, right? So I called in, I got an appointment at the largest pediatricians office at eight in the morning, which is unusual, to get a sick appointment so early. So I know everything lined out perfectly, and I didn't really, I was just really nervous, but I didn't want to let on to my husband how nervous I was, so I didn't really let myself think of, you know, what's wrong? I thought, is it an appendix? Is it this or that? Didn't know. So when I got into the waiting room, I counted his respirations, and he was breathing like 60 times a minute. And I was like, this is this is weird, right? So even the doctor, she's like, um, you need to go straight to go straight to the Children's Hospital, which is right down the road. So I did, got him in there, and literally, from the door, the doctor looked at us, and she's like, Oh, he has pneumonia. I mean, she was like, dead on. She's like, all these kids have been getting pneumonia lately. Well, so my baby had pneumonia, pneumococcal pneumonia, which is not a good one. And he had been, you know, immunized everything. But anyway, he had pneumonia. We spent 17 days in the hospital. Holy, hell, really, yes, wow. Like, like, it was so scary, because he about the time I got him there, and, you know, they got him started on antibiotics and everything. They never did steroids, keep. That in mind, but they started him on antibiotics. He literally, the poor baby, could only lay there and breathe like, that's all he could do. He couldn't watch TV, couldn't play on the iPad, nothing. So to watch, like a really active four year old go to just lay in there, yeah? And all he really can do is breathe like, half dead, yeah, yeah. Like they had him on, you know, they increased the oxygen to where he was on, high flow oxygen in the in the nose, so it's a nasal cannula, high flow. And at one point, the reason his stomach was hurting, she said, was because kids, when they have pneumonia, the pain can radiate into their like abdomen. Also, he had a little bit of a decent fluid that they had to, you know, that he had developed because of the pneumonia. So at one point he did go to the ICU, which that was a little scary, because I'm an ICU nurse, not with kids, adults only, so frightening when your kid has to go to ICU and they, they actually took him down, they put in a PICC line, you know, the IV in the arm with the three ports, because they knew he was gonna have to have IV antibiotics for a long time, yeah, at least, like two weeks. And so they put that in, and then they drain the fluid from his lung. Oh my gosh. And so he was able to breathe a lot better. That was the only time I cried because he he he actually, he had a breathing tube, and I never seen my baby, you know, with on the breathing machine. Yeah, four years old too. It was so scary. So luckily, they were able to get the breathing tube out, and he was fine. As far as that goes. A little side note, because it's a little funny, he was so swollen, like he had so much fluid on him from just the IV fluids and not moving around and everything. Okay, he would probably kill me for saying this, but his testicles were huge.
Scott Benner 6:49
He's not gonna be thrilled you said that. No, no, but he was so pitiful, because he would tell people, my penis is huge, like he would be so pitiful, but he didn't call it testicles, and he was just telling all the nurses, was just telling all the nurses, my penis is huge. Saddest thing. How old is he? Now he's 11. He's got to see it as funny. Now I know, like, that's a really scary story about, I like, how you said, like, not the good pneumonia. You didn't I mean, and, yeah, not the good one. But no, I just love the little four year old boy. Like, hey, my penis is huge. And they were probably like, right on, buddy,
Marissa 7:25
like, cracking everybody up, but it was so pitiful at the same time
Scott Benner 7:29
I understand, yeah, no, that's crazy. Oh, I have a story here. It's not about me, so I can't tell it. If it was about me, I don't know if I would tell it.
Marissa 7:40
You could pretend it's about you. I guess I just want my youngest
Scott Benner 7:43
brother Rob to respect it. I'm not about to tell his story right here. That's all, bless it. Anyway, anyway. So the one thing I'm confused about is, while they're looking at him for the pneumonia, is he also in, like, on his way to diabetes, or, like, how does that overlap?
Marissa 7:59
Well, that's what's so weird, you know? Because, like I said, we're in the hospital forever. One of the nurses told me one morning, when he was getting better, he was doing a lot better on less oxygen. He was feeling so much better, not as much fluid on board. He was starting to, you know, eat all that stuff. Well, she says we've noticed his blood sugar's been going up on his lab work every day, his blood sugar is going up a little bit. And I was like, Oh, really. I said, Do you think he could have type one diabetes? And she said, maybe. She said, we're gonna check some antibodies. And I was like, Okay, what? Didn't tell my husband. Okay, I love my husband dearly. We've been together, like, 22 years or something, but I know I'm not gonna give him a potential thing to worry about. I'm gonna wait till it's a real thing, right? So I didn't tell him. So I went home to take a shower, because I was staying at the hospital, obviously, right? Yeah. So I went home to take a shower, get some stuff together in the afternoon, when they had drawn that the auto antibodies and everything, in the morning, his brother and sister in law were there with him. Thank goodness. I'm grateful for that. And so I'm I'm home, and I'm just getting everything ready to come back, and he calls me. He's sobbing, sobbing, like he can barely speak. I'm like, Oh, my God. Is my what happened? Is my baby dead? Like, did he? Did he have to? Did he stop breathing? You did he go into his heart? Stop? You know what's happening, right? And he's like, they say he's got type one diabetes. And I was like, Oh my God, oh, thank God, thank God. Like, I was just like, so grateful. Like, oh my God, thank God. That's, that's, that's what they that everything's okay. He's breathing, yeah, yeah, he's okay. I was like, Oh my God, you like, scared me to death.
Scott Benner 9:39
What other things do you not tell him about? Is there a list? Yeah, there's
Marissa 9:43
things you know. I don't I don't want him to worry about something. I'll just wait until he really has to worry. Or if he doesn't have to worry, then he doesn't have to even know, right? Tell
Scott Benner 9:52
me about why. I mean, listen, diabetes is enough reason to be upset. But like, Is there stuff in your husband's family that. Would make him more upset about this?
Marissa 10:01
No, I think for him, it came out of left field. He didn't know anything about type one diabetes or even type two. We don't have, you know, really, any diabetes in our family at all. He didn't get, like, a nice preamble, hi, Mr. So and So, listen. I want to talk to you about some test results. It was more like he said this doctor that was not even, we don't even think she was on our case, like we don't even know her. We know I know who he's talking about, but she wasn't one of our doctors that I knew of. She walked in and she's like, well, he has type one diabetes. Do
Scott Benner 10:35
you think that doctor, does he have any hindsight? Did that doctor think they were telling him that for the first time. Do you know? Or
Marissa 10:43
I have no idea, I don't know. Yeah, geez. Well, I have no idea, but it like literally scared him to death. But then he scared me to death, yeah,
Scott Benner 10:50
sure. The way his reaction made you really feel like something dire had happened, which it had, but, yeah, not the thing your brain went to,
Marissa 10:57
yeah. I was like, Oh my God. Like, I mean, I just went cold all over, you know, how you do, yeah, when is it? And I was like, Oh, my God, you'll tell me, is he okay? Is he okay? And he's like, yeah, he's okay. And he's just, you know, watching his iPad. By then, I was like, Oh,
Scott Benner 11:09
do you remember two weeks ago when he all he could do was breathe? This is
Marissa 11:14
big improvement, big improvement. So I talked, we had two neighbors, like, practically in our backyard, both type one live, kind of next door to each other. And I was like, oh, you know, this guy has type one, and this guy's that one. They're fine. They do well, they manage. He's like, Oh, okay, okay.
Scott Benner 11:30
Well, so you have two people local to you, to your home, and both your kids, if you have any concerns that there's something going on in the atmosphere, the ground, water or anything like that. Like, have you ever thought about that?
Marissa 11:43
I haven't really thought about that. One of our neighbors, he was in his 70s, diagnosed as a child, and he passed from something completely not related to diabetes. But he wasn't, I don't think from our town. And then the other guy, I don't think he was from our town either. I think he was so but, yeah, that's a good question, right? Like, four in the, like, walking distance, that's kind of,
Scott Benner 12:04
I just put up an episode recently with a girl who's like, you know, she's like, there were so many people sick in, like, the cul de sac I lived in, and later they found that there's a place nearby them where, like, it was kind of like a dump that had to be clean and, you know, so now she wonders about
Marissa 12:21
that, you know? I mean, it does make you wonder. Yeah, a lot of things make me wonder. Yeah, definitely
Scott Benner 12:28
not. I don't know if I'm gonna get answers to most of them, but, oh, so, okay, so you're now, he's been in the hospital for how long at this point, a couple of weeks. This episode is sponsored by tandem Diabetes Care, and today I'm going to tell you about tandems, newest pump and algorithm, the tandem mobi system with control iq plus technology features auto Bolus which can cover missed meal boluses and help prevent hyperglycemia. It has a dedicated sleep activity setting and is controlled from your personal iPhone. Tandem will help you to check your benefits today through my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox this is going to help you to get started with tandem, smallest pump yet that's powered by its best algorithm ever control IQ. Plus technology helps to keep blood sugars in range by predicting glucose levels 30 minutes ahead, and it adjusts insulin accordingly. You can wear the tandem Moby in a number of ways. Wear it on body with a patch like adhesive sleeve that is sold separately. Clip it discreetly to your clothing or slip it into your pocket head. Now to my link, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, to check out your benefits and get started today, you can manage diabetes confidently with the powerfully simple Dexcom g7 dexcom.com/juicebox the Dexcom g7 is the CGM that my daughter is wearing. The g7 is a simple CGM system that delivers real time glucose numbers to your smartphone or smart watch. The g7 is made for all types of diabetes, type one and type two, but also people experiencing gestational diabetes. The Dexcom g7 can help you spend more time in range, which is proven to lower a 1c The more time you spend in range, the better and healthier you feel. And with the Dexcom clarity app. You can track your glucose trends, and the app will also provide you with a projected a 1c in as little as two weeks. If you're looking for clarity around your diabetes, you're looking for Dexcom. Dexcom.com/juicebox when you use my link, you're supporting the podcast, dexcom.com/juicebox head over there now.
Marissa 14:43
Yeah, it was towards the end of his day. Okay, so I think we ended up staying for maybe three or four more days. You know, had to do the at that hospital. They do, like, hours long. Training is a really good thing. And they. They said, even you know, anybody in in our state, I am in Central Arkansas, anybody in our state, they go to that hospital, to the Children's Hospital for education for at least overnight. Yeah. So, yeah, we had to learn all that. You know, as a nurse, I've done like 1000 bazillion finger sticks, been doing on your kids a little different. But I wanted to go ahead and do that and give him shots, you know. And so my husband did too. He didn't have any problems with that. So we immediately started the care. He pulled himself the other did he? He did. He did. Once he found out it was okay that that type one is, is manageable, and our kids gonna, you know, do great. He was, he was all
Speaker 1 15:39
good. He just didn't understand what it was. Even he didn't,
Marissa 15:43
and I didn't warn him. I didn't say maybe I should have, but, I mean, what are the odds that I'm going to be gone two hours and they're going to come in there and break this life changing news? I
Scott Benner 15:52
was just trying to get a shower here. Well, and by the way, I should have guessed out loud Arkansas, because I had a feeling, and you have so there's so many interesting turns of phrases like, oh, you know how you do that? One's, is it the bless your heart? Well, no, I love the you know how you do that? One's my best. I don't even think you understand that. That's something you say, Oh, I'm gonna have to pay attention. It's at the end of a, like, a declarative statement. You're like, I went and got coffee. You know how you do it's almost not like talking. It's it's almost like a noise at the end. I think it's awesome. Oh,
Marissa 16:26
thank you. I was worried. I'm worried about listening to this later and hearing my the accent that I don't hear in my own ears when I speak. You know, you think
Scott Benner 16:34
everybody's just picturing you chasing a wild boar around at a football game or something? Yeah, sure, definitely. I'm sure they don't I listen. When they listen to me, they probably think, what dumb mafia like, what do they even think? You know what
Marissa 16:47
I mean. No, you have a great voice. I've actually met you. You and I have met I'm one of the millions of people that you've met. Where, where did we meet? We met at the 2023 type one touched by type one conference in Orlando. Oh, no kidding. Awesome. Yeah, and I have to give a shout out, because I met my guy, bestie Peggy. Hello, Peggy. She also recorded with you recently about digestive enzymes, but I met her there. Yeah, she was from Minnesota, and I came from Arkansas, so
Scott Benner 17:14
that's lovely. And you guys just came, just to see the touch by type one event,
Marissa 17:18
yeah, and I literally, you know, I'm on the lookout, you know, my eyes are looking around for Dexcom, right? And I saw one on this little boy, which was her little boy. And I was like, she and I are osmet, and we're like, Oh, you got one too, you got one too, you know, so
Scott Benner 17:32
and, yeah, it's lovely. I it would have been nice if you said you came to see me, but, I mean, it's fine if you just, oh, wait, wait, you did come to see oh, you flew all the way from Arkansas.
Marissa 17:40
We drove, actually, we drive a lot of places. My husband likes to drive.
Scott Benner 17:44
Tell the people how lovely it was to meet me. I'm just
Marissa 17:49
it was lovely. It was lovely. And I sat in there when you did the kids thing. And I had both my middle son, and then my daughter, she was in there too, even though she's not diabetic, but she was in there. I'll
Scott Benner 18:00
tell you like, I hope it went well for you in 2023 but the one I did last year was awesome. Yeah, the kids just, it was a great group. I was actually just talking to somebody yesterday about going back. I'm definitely going back this year
Marissa 18:11
2025 Yeah, I'd like to go back again. I drug my, um, my teenager, you know, because he, he was, I guess, 15 at the time, which, I mean, if you know anything about teenage boys. He's quote, unquote, listening to you, but he's also got his feet propped up and his head back and his arms crossed. You know, teenagers sweet. You know that's what
Scott Benner 18:29
they are. My son's in his mid 20s, and sometimes I can bleed an entire sentence to him, and he looks at me and goes, what? And I'm like, Okay, right, right. My wife would say I do the same thing, but nevertheless, so Okay, so you get that diagnosis that you go through the training, but I wonder how you found the training to be, because, I mean, you're an RN, right? You've worked with seriously ill people before, like, right? Did you feel like it was a complete, like, complete, had you not known anything about diabetes, would you have walked out of there thinking, I can do this? Or, like, what do you think of that initial setup they have? I
Marissa 19:04
think they do have a really good education. And there's dietitians, and, you know, the other educators there that do have type one, and that's really cool. And then the nurse that took care of my son on in the diabetic floor, he she was type one. So I think with all of that, that helps kind of put your mind at ease. Oh, this, you know, here's this, this, this nurse. She's going to work 12 hours, she's got type one. Well, okay, she's doing great, right?
Scott Benner 19:33
Makes you feel better that she can do a whole shift like that. Yeah, yeah. It really does awesome. So when you left, did your well? I mean, I guess I should ask, not just assume, like, did being an RN help you, or did it hurt?
Marissa 19:48
I think it helped a lot, because, you know, I wasn't scared of shots or needles or sticking his finger. I wasn't scared of, you know, making decisions. What I was scared of was not knowing his blood sugar. Every second, because we didn't leave with the Dexcom. I remember calling the nurse in one night because he was really, really sweaty, and I was like, Do you think he's low? You know, I was wondering how I was going to manage that at home. Yeah, it's
Scott Benner 20:12
an interesting moment, isn't it, when the first time that you realize, like, the implications of the whole thing, the highs and the lows, and then somebody checks with a meter, and then it's over. And if your next thought isn't, well, what is it now and then? And five minutes later, like, Well, I wonder what it is now like, is it up or down? Is it moving? Is it steady? Like, that's, it's, listen, I did it for a long time without a CGM, and I think it might, it might have added years to taken years off my life, you know. So I
Marissa 20:39
believe you I really do, you know. And they told us, when you go home, you know, wake up at 2am right? And check, check blood sugar at 2am so I'm checking right before bed, and then I'm waking up at 2am to check. And I was exhausted. I mean, obviously, right, yeah, because then I have to turn around and get ready and go to work.
Scott Benner 20:58
Listen, I was a stay at home, dad Benard, and was diagnosed. And even as she's older, like my job, you know, is out of my house. And I don't think I spend nearly enough time telling all you what an amazing assistance that is to me, not to have to actually get into a car and drive somewhere to prescribe time. It helps a lot with all this, actually. So, you know, the opposite is, you know, you can't be when you hear people say, like, I'm doing the best I can, or, you know, like, how come you didn't get that blood sugar down for three hours? Like, I literally had to be asleep or I wouldn't have been able to wake up in the morning, go to work, do the thing, pay for the stuff. Like, right? Yeah. It's, it's just all encompass, yeah. So how long were you managing a four year old with type one before your next kid gets diabetes
Marissa 21:44
13 months Wow. So, so about 13 months later, I came home from work and my kid had been at school. He was in the fifth grade. He said, Mom, my teacher's getting mad at me every day. And I was like, why? And he said, well, because I get to school and I have to go to the bathroom every morning. And I was like, oh, oh, that's not good. I should probably check his blood sugar. Now, that's that's not possible, right? So I put it off a few days, and I got home from God bless him. I'm so glad he was persistent, because a few days later I got home from work. Unfortunately, it was the day before my husband's birthday. But anyways, got home from work and he's, he says, Mom, I had to pee three times when I was playing my video game while ago, he said, and my throat is just feels that really weird, dry. And we had actually gone on a trip about a month before that, and we were in the car, we couldn't stop at the bathroom soon enough, like he had to use a bottle to pee. I mean, so, I mean, duh. Should have figured that out, right? But I didn't. So I said, Okay, well, let's check your blood sugar, and it read in the four hundreds. And I was like, That can't be right. Let's do another hand. That's
Scott Benner 22:53
right. I'm gonna put us all in the garage and start the car. How old is he right then? And there he was, 1111, okay, so you're like, obviously, you're gonna get blood out of a different finger. It's gonna go better. So you did that and
Marissa 23:06
what happened? Same, same result. No kidding, this glucometer is not working. So my husband stuck his finger, and he was like, 89 and I was like, oh, no, it works. It works. So I knew then, you know, pack a bag, go to the hospital. But I did, I did try to get away like, he's like, Well, should I eat? And I was like, Well, we're about to eat, so I guess, go ahead and eat. Like, you know, don't be hungry. Yeah, go ahead. And so I even text my neighbor, whose husband, you know, has type one. And I was like, Oh, this is what happened. Do you think, do you think I could just give him some insulin? I was like, you think I could just give him insulin? It's like, nine o'clock at night by now, you know? She's like, Oh, no, you better go in. And so, of course, I did, you know. And then when we got there, he said, Hey, Mom, do you think I might have type one, two? And I said, Yeah, I really think you do. And he was like, okay, that kid never shed a tear. He is my, he's my anxious kid. Like, from day one, he's been super anxious, scared of the wind, you know, things like that. He's really, you know, accomplished a lot with he's overcome a lot in that year's time he was giving he was actually giving shots. He's like, do you think I can give him his shot? Yeah, sure. So he was giving shots. He was with supervision, obviously, but checking his blood shirt. He was doing all that to his little brother, and I think that helped prepare him, honestly. Oh,
Scott Benner 24:40
okay, yeah. So it all felt doable, yeah, because he had seen it done, and he had actually been a part of it at some points. Oh, that's awesome. And to this day, like, how many years later is this now?
Marissa 24:51
Let's see, Liam was seven years Eli was six years ago. So now I will tell you, though there's a difference between being a guy. Diagnosed at four and 11, because the 11 year old, when you're diagnosed at 11, obviously, you know you've just you've had all this soda and candy, and you've never had to worry about anything affecting your blood sugar. Right now you do the four year old, he does not remember. He's 11. Now he doesn't remember. He thinks he knows everything about diabetes. He does not remember not needing it.
Scott Benner 25:21
He just eats the way he eats, and it's not a big deal to him. He didn't have to give anything up in his
Marissa 25:26
mind, right? Yeah, he Yeah. And he was even when he was four and five. He was even he wanted to stick his own finger. He wanted to do his own shot, you know, his own glucose shot. And then at some point we had to leave him with my in laws, and he actually gave his first injection before we were on the pump.
Scott Benner 25:46
I remember Arden doing her like her first pod by herself, because she was with my sister in law. And I think she just got, she looked around and was like, All right, I think I'd be better off doing this myself. Not that they, you know, not that they weren't just, they were new at it, and like, it was, you know, and she was like, All right, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna, I'll get it. And so when we were so nervous because it was remote, we weren't there. We were on the phone trying to talk them through it and everything. And, my gosh, so
Marissa 26:15
I know it's fun. They get so used to it and they see you do it, yeah, I feel confident. Just no because Liam's just recently done his own pump too, and it's that's a little bit life. I still help sometimes, but sometimes he's getting ready for bed and he's like, I'll just do it myself. It's life changing.
Scott Benner 26:31
I've seen this, this thing, even with Arden now, like, for literally the most part, like, literally 99 and a half percent. Like, you know, she doesn't, she's not looking for help with this stuff, and but there's a time, like, if she's sick or she's exhausted or something, you can see her just be, like, here, just, just do it, please, you know, like, once in a while, like, you know, she just hand you the pod back. Like, here, you stick it on. But it's very at this point, just incredibly infrequent. But
Marissa 26:57
it's so helpful that that you can just hand over here be my pancreas, dad. I mean, that's such a big deal that she's lucky to have you to have figured out all this stuff that you've figured out. Yeah,
Scott Benner 27:10
no. I mean, I'm assuming one day she'll know that too. That'd be awesome.
Marissa 27:14
Let's hope, right. I'm
Scott Benner 27:15
sure when she's in her mid 30s, she'll probably like, cruise past me in a room and just like, lean in real quick and go, Hey, thanks, and then just keep going. So, yeah, no, I think she's incredibly grateful for everything that she's got going on. But it's it doesn't stop it from being, you know, what I've learned being me is that it's not magical, like everyone out there probably thinks like, oh, it's probably great for her, because, you know, like, the guy that taught me the stuff and helps me, like, you know, he's there. So it's, she still just has diabetes, you know, like, it's still annoying and upsetting and all the other things that it is. It doesn't stop being that for her, just because, you know, we know how to handle things. Or, like, I was telling you before we got on, like, she's sick right now. She's on an antibiotic and and a steroid, and the steroids messing with her. But you know, like, even as the doctors giving her, like we were in an urgent care, and if this person is listening like, we really appreciate it, there's an urgent care near us, and there's a doctor there, she has type one. So, like, we knew what was wrong with Arden. We just knew, you know, we knew what she needed. So we went through the urgent care and she got looked at, gave her the steroids and the antibiotics. And as she's given the steroids, she's like, now, you know, like, you're gonna have to make adjustments with insulin and and she said, what she was, what she said, and I'm sure, to some degree, she thought I didn't need to be told, yeah, but still, like, with what she said, even if she had gone deeper into it, if I didn't know what I was doing, I would not have been prepared for what's happening right now? Like, oh, it's a big deal, yeah. Like, I'm, you know, I think I'm running Arden's basal at like, 2.1 units an hour right now, or something like that. Oh, goodness. Which is insane. Because, right, I think her basal is like point 850 my gosh. And, you know, like, last night she we were cruising, but she took those steroids again, like, the last dose, and the blood sugar started going up. And, like, I had to, like, you know, I mean, she's on DIY algorithm. And, like, you know, so she's using trio. I had to make, like, temporary adjustments to basal. I had to make a huge Bolus. I had to, like, I did a ton of stuff to, like, hold a blood sugar at, like, 225, and bring it back down again. It was, Oh, my word difficult. Like, three, four times the amount of insulin. I don't think, if you don't know that, like, where are you going to get the nerve to instead of bolusing a unit for something, bolusing four units for it, like, you know what I mean? Like, you're not going to be able to do that. So
Marissa 29:37
it's very difficult. Yeah. And even though we had good training at the hospital, there was a lot that was never covered until I discovered the podcast,
Scott Benner 29:46
yeah, well, I mean, you know, especially with the steroids, like, I don't know how to prepare for somebody for like, four times the amount, if that's the situation, like, you know, anyway, yeah, tell me a little more about that, though, because, you know, you are an RN, right? Like, you are working with, like, critically ill people, like, for a lot of your career, too. So you must have seen your fair amount of people in DKA,
Marissa 30:07
oh my gosh. There's some of the sickest patients, I think, that I've ever
Scott Benner 30:11
had. Well, how does that impact you when you realize your kid could be in it?
Marissa 30:16
Oh, it's like, terror, you know, like, Oh my gosh. What am I gonna do to I've gotta really prevent this, and I've tried to share this with, you know, nurses I work with now, it's very easy to go into DK. It doesn't take a lot to go into DKA, because, you know, when you know nurses are, for the most part, jaded, right? We've seen we've seen this, we've seen that, you know, we've frequent flyers. You know, you just kind of assume, as a nurse, I think you kind of assume people don't take care of themselves. I mean, honestly. And so when you have DKA patients, you're like, Oh, they're just not taking care of themselves. But what you don't realize is, maybe they had a pump malfunction, maybe they couldn't afford insulin, maybe they this the that, you know, there's who knows. And I really became way more empathetic. It's a lot to take care of somebody with DKA too. Like, it's a very involved, you know, you have to know their you have, you're trying to get their anion gap back in range, and their PH, and then their electrolytes, and then you change different fluids and stuff. It's like a big deal. And then, of course, you stick their finger every single hour because, you know, hospitals won't allow you to use a CGM, which is absolutely ridiculous, but I did become way more empathetic, yeah, towards people and I, I know you, you and I, everybody with who has diabetes, or a kid with diabetes, you've had to try your best to prevent it.
Scott Benner 31:36
Have you had like, a moment where you've looked now, since then, since your understanding of it is deep, and have you looked at somebody in DK and thought like, I wonder what's like? You have the time as a nurse to wonder what happened to them in not just the fault back to, oh, they just must not take care of themselves,
Marissa 31:52
yeah. Like, if the patient is well enough, awake alert, or they have family, I've been like, hey, you need to listen to this podcast, like, or at least joined the Facebook group. I said, you know, it's not your fault. This is really hard, you know, things like that. I'm a nurse practitioner as well, and so I work with patients with this special, well, it's supposed to be a rare cancer, but we're like the cancer center for multiple myeloma, okay? And these patients are on a lot of stereo, at least a weekly steroid. I mean, imagine I have several diabetic patients, and I have one that's young. She was, she was diagnosed with type one in like, her 30s. I think every week when I see her, I'm like, okay, so what did you do? You know, with your insulin to offset your steroid, you know, so I have to shout out to her, because she is or she knows about you. But anyway, she is bold. She's giving. She's on the Omnipod five, Dexcom, g6 but she's also giving herself like Lantus. Oh, wow, for the steroid. Yeah.
Scott Benner 33:02
Well, I had that thought a couple times in the last couple days. Like, I was like, Oh, I wonder, like, would injecting a we don't even, I listen, I'm going to say something I don't think I'm supposed to say, like, we don't even, I don't have an injectable basal in the house. Like, I know you're supposed to keep it as a backup, but we just, we never have, there's no zombies, and there's a, you know, there's a Walgreens down the end of the street, right, right? Yeah. I mean, it's, I thought, God, just a layer of basal that's not going through the cannula. That's really where my concern is, is like, because, you know, the site is going to get flooded, and it's going to get, you know, it's going to get over saturated, it's probably not going to work as well. And, you know, like, you just all that's in your head. But if you don't know to think about that, then all that's not in your head. You just, you know, your person online that I'm seeing going like, Hey, I'm on a steroid. Their blood sugar is 450 and they're like, I can't, I can't seem to give myself enough insulin. And you know, you're already sick, and having a high blood sugar is not going to make that better, you know, right, right?
Marissa 33:55
It's just going to make it worse. And there's a term for that, where you're on the pump and then you still do the basal. I can't remember the term. I think they actually had to untethered. Yeah, untethered. That's it. And I actually had to do that with my oldest son when he went through puberty, like, say he was in 1415, oh my gosh, like, his Omnipod wouldn't last two days. Oh, no, you know, yeah, so much insulin, yeah. And so I went ahead and did that, because, you know, my insurance is not going to just give me unlimited amounts of Omnipod five. So I did that for a while. And we have a really good endocrinologist. She knows I'm a nurse practitioner. I'll just leave, change things here and there. And she was, like, she wasn't pleased with it, but it did help a lot, like I was, and I was just trying to guesstimate, okay, I'm gonna just do, you know, bring your settings down, because it was before automation, bring your settings down this amount, and then bring, you know, and it we didn't have any lows. It helped,
Scott Benner 34:55
but it worked, and you didn't have any lows, and it held, what was she mad about? Well, she went.
Marissa 35:00
Mad, but she was just like, you know, since that's kind of not, I don't, I don't know, it's not empathetic, you know,
Speaker 1 35:06
just she don't like you thinking too much,
Marissa 35:09
well, yeah, she's like, well, I don't want to get she's probably thinking, I don't want to get in trouble, right? You know, for you doing this craziness. But she, she was just like, oh, we'll just write that, you know, for the insurance that you can get the pod every two days. And so we did that for a while, and then, and then my insurance was like, oh, sorry, we're not going to cover that anymore.
Scott Benner 35:27
Yeah, no, thanks. Has it gotten better? As he's gotten older,
Marissa 35:31
it's gotten a lot better. It's gotten a lot better. And then the automation has, you know, once we went on the Omnipod five with the automation that's helped a lot.
Scott Benner 35:41
Yeah, it's the algorithms are awesome. Is there any concern about your daughter?
Marissa 35:49
I mean, I'm on the lookout. I keep saying, I'll, I might do her antibodies. But you know, as we know, you can have antibody or you cannot have antibodies and then have antibodies. So I'm like, I haven't really talked myself into doing that yet, but I do check her blood sugar occasionally when she's either sick or moody or something like that. Jeez.
Speaker 1 36:11
How often are you doing it?
Marissa 36:12
Well, I hadn't done it in a while, but
Scott Benner 36:16
if you're shooting for moody with a with a kid, right? Does she have any other autoimmune stuff, like or did the boys or you or anybody else?
Marissa 36:24
My husband's mom has rheumatoid arthritis and she has multiple sclerosis. My sister has hypothyroid. My brother in law has it's my husband's brother. He has some different autoimmune things. I don't know if anything actually has a name yet. I know there's a thyroid issue. And then, you know, the urticaria, urticaria, whatever you want to call it, he breaks out, is that constant? Yeah, he's had that for a long time. And my sister also had that for a while as
Scott Benner 36:55
well. So on your husband's side and on your side,
Marissa 36:59
yes. And then ironically, or maybe not ironically, I have a second cousin on each side of, like, my mom's side and my dad's side, and they were diagnosed as children, oh, while I was an adult, okay, and these little children were diagnosed. But that seems kind of far, doesn't
Scott Benner 37:16
it not to me. That sounds like a lot to me, also that brought the brother in law with urticaria, tell him to make sure his TSH is under two and see if it doesn't stop. Okay, okay, by the way, talking about turns of phrases you said about, I don't know if it's his sister or something, you said she, she has some hypothyroid. I don't know what some hypothyroid that's gotta
Marissa 37:37
be. Well, she's had hypothyroid, I guess back and forth in range. Maybe that's what I mean. But yeah, it's just a little bit, just a touch.
Scott Benner 37:45
She has a touch of cancer. Like, that's what it sounded like to me. Yeah, a Smith touch, the mother in law. Ms, how old was she when she was diagnosed?
Marissa 37:53
Oh, my goodness. Let's see. I want to say she was either late 40s, early 50s. Her sister, actually, our twin sister was diagnosed with MS before I ever met my husband, and then he told me, I guess when I first met him, that his mom was having some vision problems. And I was like, Oh, she needs to be checked for Ms. And she eventually was, and she's doing really well. As far as that's concerning, they've come a long way with multiple sclerosis drugs, awesome. Well,
Scott Benner 38:21
that's good, but yeah, I mean the thyroid stuff, I hear a lot of thyroid what you just said. So, like, I I'd keep an eye on that too, especially for your daughter, maybe, oh yes, I know, a little more common for women than men, but not, not a lot, but a little more. But especially with, you know, families with a lot of autoimmune stuff going on, which I would characterize you as having a lot of autoimmune after that list? Yeah,
Marissa 38:43
I guess so you like, like, I said, type one was never on our radar even, and I didn't even know it was autoimmune at that point to and I'm a nurse, and that's another thing I want to talk about. Like, how little education you get as a nurse about type one diabetes. Talk about your wasted education. Go ahead. So you know, in in my I got my bachelor's degree, got my RN. I mean, there was so, so little information.
Scott Benner 39:09
Were you about to curse? Marissa, no, there's a pause that I'm I'm like, she's not gonna curse, is she? I thought you were gonna say there was so little F in education. I was like, That doesn't seem like a thing she would do, but go ahead.
Marissa 39:21
I mean, that's true, just so little in nursing school. And while I'm on the subject, because this is a little bit ironic, I think when I was nursing, schools are evil, right? Any nurse can take like, I don't know that many nurses who was like, Oh, I love my program. It was great. No, it's hard. Okay, if people knew how hard it was to become a nurse, there'd be even fewer nurses. Let me tell you that. So
Scott Benner 39:47
is it the things you learn, or is it hazing? What is it
Marissa 39:50
they're mean, I don't know. So I went I started college at 18, right? Got in the nursing program at 20, and graduated at 22 so. So I'm young. First of all, you start out with a big class, and a lot of them drop out or whatever, because you have to have above a 75 like, if you have below, I think it's a 75 maybe an 80. Anyway, you don't pass,
Scott Benner 40:14
yeah, well, that's good, but go ahead, that
Marissa 40:17
is good. But then the clinicals, you know, that's where you go into the hospital, and at that point, because that was 100 years ago, we had to wear all white and a stupid little bib apron thing over you with the name of the school on it. Anyway, everything white so stupid pantyhose. Anyway, whatever. Holy
Scott Benner 40:39
hell are you, Marissa? What are you 90? What's going on? I'm
Marissa 40:43
just 91 it's fine. But yeah. So anyway, they're so mean, like, you can get three, what they they call critical use. I don't even know what U stands for, but it's a critical use. You can get three of them. If you get if you get three, you're out of the program. Okay? You'll never guess why I got one? I don't know. Tell me, please. I'm excited. Forgotten my watch. You forgot your watch. I forgot to wear my watch clinical.
Scott Benner 41:09
Had you forgot your watch two more times, you wouldn't have been able to be a nurse. Yeah? Awesome. This seems like a, like an X rated movie that you they've got you dressed up, very weird with the with the pantyhose, and they're and they're throwing a lot of rules at you. I'll tell you what I get confused by. Take it out of this for a second. I don't understand the human beings need to haze people. Nope. Like, I don't like, it was hard for me, so it's gonna suck for you. I don't get, I really don't get that. Like, it would take one generation of people to go, you know what? Somebody made this unnecessarily hard on me. I'm going to make this a reasonable experience for you, and things would get better, right? Yeah, I don't know why we're so hell bent on persecuting people, but
Marissa 41:54
nursing schools are like that. Instead of being like that, teach us more stuff, tell us some more real world stuff. So that was my first critical you Okay, so then here's my second one, and I almost got kicked out of the program, and it does have to do with diabetes, which is really funny, because now I have two diabetes, and I actually study diabetes, you know, by listening to the podcast and all that other stuff, right? So when I was in report, which is when the night nurse is telling the day nurse about the patient, what to do, blah, blah, yeah, so I was writing on 630 in the morning. Okay, we're not even firing on all still cylinders here, quite awake, right? So I wrote down that this patient needed blood sugars, Q, D, that means every day, right? What I should have written down was Q ID, that means four times a day. So at lunchtime, this patient had taken a bite of mashed potatoes before I realized he needed a blood sugar check, right,
Scott Benner 42:54
and that, and that almost got you another another hit. Yeah,
Marissa 42:58
yeah. I had to spend my whole spring break of my senior year writing papers about diabetes. Yeah, I'm not, I kid you not. Just so, and that was in March, right? And I was graduating in May, so I couldn't mess it up.
Scott Benner 43:12
Oh my gosh, hey, my wife puts q id and QD on stuff all the time because she that's how she writes for work. And every time I'm like, I don't I'm like, Kelly, I don't remember what this means. Give it. It's like a shorthand to her, because, yes, her technical writing, yeah. It means
Marissa 43:26
you can get kicked out of nursing school. That's what it means. Yeah. So ironically, you know, I have now type two or two type one diabetes kids, right? But honestly, I don't remember much at all from undergrad about diabetes, except that I wrote about type two diabetes. That's what my papers were on type two diabetes, right? Yeah. So then I go, I decided I would go to nurse practitioner school, like 14 years after I'd been out of school, I literally have maybe one page, maybe half a page, on type one diabetes. I'm not kidding you, just that you need insulin, basically, that you have to have insulin to survive. There's so little, no,
Scott Benner 44:03
I know. I mean, listen, it can't be that people are that inept. Like, I just think it's not taught at all. It's not, I mean, you can't wrap your head around why? Like, it doesn't make sense. But other than, I guess, they're just trying to give you a high level overview of a bazillion things, right? And then they assume there'll be people who will, who will choose endocrinology as a as a drill down then, then they'll learn about it. But I don't know. That doesn't seem to happen anyway.
Marissa 44:28
I know it's crazy. My friend went to a different nurse practitioner program, and she showed me hers, and she literally had half a page too. Yeah. I was like, This is crazy. But yeah, my
Scott Benner 44:39
brother was, you know, being treated for type two diabetes, and it wasn't going well. And I, you know, I let it go on for I let it go on. Listen, they're my younger brothers, and my parents got divorced when I was really young. So I love my brothers, and they're my brothers, but I also feel responsible for them on some level. You know what I mean? I let it go on for a while. I'm. Happy to say it that way. And then I stepped up, and I was like, listen, we're doing this and this and this and, like, and now he's doing awesome. He just called me yesterday. He's like, I've lost 56 pounds. And like, yeah, he's doing great. Like, and I, you know, he's not running around with high blood sugars all the time and like, stuff like that. Like, it's just, like, it wasn't that hard, I guess is what I'm saying. Like, to help him, you
Marissa 45:19
know, yeah, and you had to be his advocate, because, like the physicians whose job now, don't get me wrong, because they are super overworked, right? They see, what, how many patients in a day? They see a patient every what, 1020, minutes or something. But still, you could at least say, look at this resource, or listen to this podcast, you wouldn't believe how many times I've thought I need to be a paid sponsor here for Juicebox Podcast, because I tell so many people, yeah, about it,
Scott Benner 45:49
I actually considered one time running some sort of a contest for people. Like, I don't know how to do it, like, for how many because you should see the you know, like, this morning I woke up and I let in 76 new people into the private Facebook group this morning. Group this morning. That happened, I'll take credit for 30. Okay? That happens like every day, right? There's also an amount of people who the out. You know, the Facebook algorithm, like, you answer a couple questions and it does some digging, and if it's comfortable, like, auto lets you in. So there's probably 100 new people in the last 12 hours, but I see some of their answers, and it's usually just like, hey, listen, somebody was asking a question on another Facebook group, and someone said this was the place to come. Or my doctor told me, my doctor told me, is one of the most common ways.
Marissa 46:29
Oh, that's great, because our doctor didn't tell us. Well, yeah, but
Scott Benner 46:33
it's really like, I mean, that's heady for me. I'm like, your doctor, you know, wait going back to my brother for a second, like, I get that the doctor could be busy or overwhelmed or whatnot, but, like, they were never going to help him, right? And then, like, I'd say, Listen, this is what we want to ask for this. And he'd say, Well, the doctor said, I'm like, you don't care anymore. What the doctor said, I'm like, This is what we're doing. Find a way to this. And that's not a thing. My brother's, like, accustomed to like, I'm accustomed to it because I had to do it for Arden, right? And you know, other people in my family have thyroid issues and, like, people are, you know, been sick over a year. I've, I've a lot of practice of being like, no, no, we're doing this. But my brother doesn't. And either do a lot of other people who, you know, they'll just go, Well, yeah, but then the doctor said, so I stopped. Like, I hear that all the time from people like personal life and on the podcast. So you have to be there to go. No, say it again. Ask a different way make it you know, yeah,
Marissa 47:28
you have to just advocate for yourself, you know. Since, since I get to, you know, see patients as a nurse practitioner, like I said, my patients have cancer, but they have other stuff as well. And so when I do have type ones, I feel like we really can connect, and they can trust me. And so that's why I'm like, okay, you've got to listen to this podcast or explain pre bolusing the way you did, because nobody told me pre bolusing until I discovered the podcast,
Scott Benner 47:58
even though you've been through school and help. Yeah, they don't talk about any of that in school. Yeah. I mean, listen, I I say all the time, like, I get way too much credit for just telling people to worry about how the timing of insulin works. Like it's not a thing, that it shouldn't be a big deal. Do you know what I mean? Like it should be a thing. Like people say, Oh no, I already knew that. But that's not the case for most of the people who end up with us. You know what I want to say, though, like, asking somebody to advocate for themselves is one thing. Like, if they can actually, like, muster up the steam to do it is great, but they don't know what they're having. They don't have the if they had the answer, they wouldn't need the doctor first of all. So, like, so now here you are in a situation with a person who you're counting on to help you, who may or may not have the answers, but you definitely don't have the answer. So how the hell are you supposed to advocate for something you don't
Marissa 48:45
know exists? I know, I don't know the answer. That's, it's, it's sad, you know, um, and some people are just like broken down by, you know, they're so used to not feeling good, or what, or, Oh, I guess this is just how life is now. And they don't even, can't even express, yeah.
Scott Benner 49:01
I mean, look at your son. I mean, I know he's only four, but like, imagine if he had to advocate for himself when he was in the hospital with no, my gosh, right. How you gonna do that? You can't. You're, you're, I just said this to somebody the other day. I said, my biggest concern now is that I'm gonna, like, have a problem, like, a medical problem, one day in front of a bunch of nudniks, and then I'm just gonna look up and go, like, Oh, great. None of these people are gonna be able to help me. You. Able to help me. I don't want my death to be because I passed out in the wrong place. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you don't know who's around you and but you're going to get to a point at some point where you're going to say, I don't have it in me. Like, I don't have the ability to help myself. At this point, I'm counting on other people, and maybe with the diabetes, even my brother type two. Like, sure, you're not passed out in the street, but you are in a dire situation. You don't know the answer to the question, and you're hoping the people around you do know and and the the worst part is that when they answer you, you don't even know if they're right. Yeah, that's true. You could end up being with bad information forever and ever, and thinking like. I'm doing what I'm told, this is going to be okay. Yeah, it's very upsetting. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I'm doing my best here. You know what? I mean, like, but I'm not reaching. I'm not reaching enough people,
Marissa 50:09
I know, but you are reaching a lot. Like, you know, I Googled, or I got, I got on the Facebook and looked for, um, support groups for parents after a while, because I was like, I'm kind of struggling here, you know, and I have, you know, I know medical stuff, but I'm struggling. And so that's how I found your group. And then when I joined and I started looking through, I was like, Oh my gosh, just looking at people's questions and answers like this really makes sense. And then when somebody mentioned that there was a podcast, I was like, why? I've never listened to a podcast before let me check this
Scott Benner 50:41
out. I'm a fancy lady now. I got an app on my phone,
Marissa 50:46
and it's a free app handle this.
Scott Benner 50:51
How is so many things going my way today?
Marissa 50:53
Right? It just was life changing. You know, I do think you're like God's gift to the diabetic community, and so I try to share, you know, with other people, and, you know, let them know that there are resources. And yeah,
Scott Benner 51:07
there's this thing that I can't tell you because it sounds, it sounds so douchey, but what? Oh, God, am I going to say this? Oh, I won't say who it was, who it is, because I don't want them to be embarrassed. But I mean, in fairness to me, I get a lot of praise. But, I mean, it is praise, like, like, you just gave me. It was very kind, right? But it happens with a lot of frequency, because I reached so many people. And sometimes someone I know will send me like a little candle as a text. And it's like a It's kind of like a joke about, like, you know, the religious candles in the aisle at the grocery store that, yeah, and this person's always like, your face is going to be on one of these candles one day, and, and we laugh like it's not a thing. I actually think I just wanted that person doesn't think that either we're we're trying to make light because it's so, I know people won't, like, maybe understand this, but it's heavy to have that many people thanking you all the time.
Marissa 52:03
I bet it is, yeah, I bet it is, especially when you're humble, not
Scott Benner 52:07
burdensome, heavy. But like, there are certain people listening who will not believe this. And I think for you, you've maybe have confused my sarcasm with my not my sarcasm at points. But that's fine. I don't need that. It's lovely. And I like, you know, I hear from people, and I make sure to answer everybody, and I think it's great, but I also think they're doing the work. Yeah, I just said the thing out loud. They took it and ran with it. I don't think I deserve credit for it, and it's not a thing I need or I want. Oh, I know what you mean. I don't know if I'm in a unique situation, and people can understand it or not, but like, it's lovely, and I appreciate it, and I I'm not asking anybody to stop, but I'm also not over here, like, you know, like a heroin addict going, like, I need three people to thank me in the next hour, I'm gonna, like, have a breakdown. Like, if no one ever said thank you again, I'd be, like, it's long as they're helped. I don't care, because you
Marissa 52:57
feel like you're providing the information, but they're doing the work. And I get that, you know, because, you know, when I have, like, my my chemo patients that finish their chemo cycle and they're like, Oh, thank you so much. Well, I really didn't do anything, but I'm cheerleading here for you and telling you what to expect. Yeah, whatnot. I don't, you know, I'm, I know what you mean, but just like having, bonding out all that stuff, like, I don't know if it would have taken a long, long time to for me to trial and error. Everything that I just learned from the podcast
Scott Benner 53:26
took me a long, you know, it really did. Like, I don't say it much, but like, when I talk about it, I'll say, like, look, you know, you guys have the podcast. I literally struggled through every step of it and just kept like, I, you know, I said it earlier, right? Like, I was on business, stay at home dad, so I had time, like, and so I could stop and look back all the time and just kind of macro, look at everything and see how things affected. Like, I wasn't running to work, or, like, you know, I mean, like I had time to make diabetes my job, basically, yeah, yeah.
Marissa 53:56
Which is a blessing, you know, that that you did have, that, Oh for sure, benefited all of us. That's
Scott Benner 54:02
nice of you to say, like, but like, it took forever, is my point? Like, Oh, I bet she was two when she was diagnosed. It's not like when she was three. I was, like, the guy from the podcast, like, you know what I mean? Like, it was she was six seven, but I started, like, pulling my thoughts together and like, you know, it took me a while. Like, I felt like I was killing my kid too. Just like the rest of you feel
Marissa 54:21
right, like even, even today, you know, Liam was a little high, and I was like, do half a unit. And he's like, okay, so he did half a unit, and now he's like, 103, double arrows down. So I'm like, Oh no, eat some gummy you eat a few fruit snacks to even out. Yeah, you know, it's just, I don't know, you know, I still struggle sometimes with these kids, and especially they're not physically connected to me at all times, right?
Scott Benner 54:50
Yeah, it's harder. It's hard the amount of times before any kind of systems were in place, Arn was just wearing a regular Omnipod that I would texture, and I'd be like, Temp Basal increase 20% for 30 minutes. Minutes, and then, like, 510, minutes later, I'm like, oh, cancel that. I shouldn't have done that. Like I had to do that so many times before I knew what to do, when to do it. I feel like I haven't said this in a long time, but I really do think that eventually you go through so many experiences that if you're paying attention to them and taking lessons out of them, eventually you can see them coming, and then you know what to do, right? Like, you're not guessing, but I guess, though I almost cursed, but you're very southern, so I'm not going to. I think the irony of you southern people is, I think privately, you're cursing all the time, but like,
Marissa 55:36
oh yeah, frustration you know more, the more frustrated, the more the more bad words,
Scott Benner 55:41
you know, like I I had to make those mistakes a lot and then learn from them before I could see them coming and get ahead of like, I'm telling you. I did that for a really long time, and then I started even being able to write about it on a blog helped me to find a way to be articulate about it. But short, because I don't believe people read. Yeah, how do you be quick but thoughtful and say something in a way that not just some people will understand, but like that, you can be reasonably sure that most people listening or reading are gonna You don't wanna be confusing, right? Like so they learn to do that while I'm blogging, and it's hard in writing, but I got better at it, and then it made me really good at talking about it. So yeah, that's I get it. Yeah, that's nice.
Marissa 56:29
Yeah. Just, do you ever stop looking at the numbers? Like I feel like I look at them. I'm always on guard with the numbers. No, I never look ever. Yeah. So maybe one day I won't look yeah,
Scott Benner 56:42
it'll come you know what I mean? Like, you know, there's a I want to make sure I say this the right way. Like, so there's a moment when you're going to realize that a 160 blood sugar is not the end of the world. Oh, yeah, definitely. And that a 200 for an hour is going to happen sometimes, but I don't want people to think like, oh, okay, well, then I just won't worry about that. That's not the case, right? I manage all of them, like, or Arden manages all of them. Nobody is like, you can't stare at a high blood sugar. It is the quickest way to an eight, a, 1c, that you can find, right? And that is the quickest way to apathy that turns into a, nine, a, 1c, that turns into like, you know, you saying, Oh, my shoulder is frozen. Like, like, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's the quick path to that. So I'm not saying ignore it, or that I would ignore it, or that she would ignore it. What I'm saying is, is that when it happens, you manage it, you don't freak out about it. And that takes, that takes a while before you can see that number. And just go, okay, and then do the thing. I don't know. Like, I've never been in a military operation, but, like, I would say that, you know, in the beginning of diabetes, I was the guys running off the boat on Saving Private Ryan, and just like, it's screaming and just shooting into the air. And now I'm more like, you know, like a Navy SEAL. The way I handle it is, we're going to do the things that we're supposed to do. I'm pretty sure we won't die. And if we die, that's not going to change that we're going to do the things that we're supposed to do, yeah? And hopefully it's all going to work out. I think I've said it before, like, I try to think of things the way astronauts do, right? Just okay, everything's trying to kill you, okay, but what's going to kill you right now, that's the thing we do. That's a good way to look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that takes a while to get to that. So you have to have the experiences, figure it out, know how to take care of it. Then you've got to be able to keep in your heart that the higher blood sugars aren't okay, but they're not a panic or a failure, and we just have to keep taking the steps and doing the things. Yeah, that's where I'm at now. I'm Zen about it
Marissa 58:49
now, but there's plenty than I used to be. It's
Scott Benner 58:53
coming. Is my point? Like, you'll get to it, because there's plenty of times in the past where Mercy was like, you know, like, a beep, beep, what happened? What I do, what I mess up? How'd this go wrong? Like, you know what I mean? Like, so upset. You're upset for an hour. The kid knows you're upset. Like, it's, you know, I think it's all part of it,
Marissa 59:12
right? I try not to take it personally, and I try not to just text about diabetes, though, that to my kids, although I'm kind of probably bad about mostly texting about diabetes to them. But, you know, try to do this. Try to do this. But, you know, the 11 year old, he thinks he, you know, he doesn't take into consideration, like, really, what his blood sugar is at lunch. He just kind of, I'm getting three units, you know. And so sometimes it's like, Oh, hold on there, yeah,
Scott Benner 59:38
there's an art like I said, Arden is pretty sick right now, and I walked into her bedroom last night, like the end of the night, and I went in there because her settings needed to be massaged, right like for the cylinder. And I also know that she's she's got trouble remembering to take her thyroid medication. Oh, and so I was walking in there to make an adjustment to the insulin, or to talk to her about the adjustment for the insulin, and I knew in the back of my head that I should remind her about the thyroid medication, but I looked at her and I just thought, I'm not going to mention the thyroid medication tonight. Yeah? Like, she just like, she's beat up. Like, right? Like, she doesn't need me coming in that room, going, diabetes, hypothyroidism. Like, you know what I mean, like, so I went in there. I said, How are you feeling? And then she's like, oh, you know, she told me how she was feeling and everything. And I said, Okay. I said, Listen, I don't think these settings are gonna work. Like, let's take a look at them together and see if we can figure out where to, you know, move them to. And I thought everything inside of me wanted to be like, in here, take this pill, right, right? I just didn't say it. I kept it focused on her, because as she gets older, I'm becoming more aware of the human side of it. Yes, because she can be more expressive about it than she could be when she was little. And she just, she doesn't want to be sick, like, you know what I mean, like, and she doesn't want to have diabetes on top of being sick, and she doesn't want to have thyroid problem on top of diabetes on top of being sick. And like me walking in there and going diabetes, thyroid insulin just makes her feel like she doesn't
Marissa 1:01:14
exist. Oh, yeah, I can, I can say that. Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:01:17
So there's, again, a balance between doing well for them, physically and and psychologically. That's
Marissa 1:01:25
true. Yeah, that's true. And my oldest, he does get burned out more than my middle because he, I think if he remembers not having to worry about stuff, and he gets burned out a little bit more. So we've had our times where he was like, go to a friend's house, but he didn't chuck a sugar the whole line, things like that. We've been through that when he was MDI, but no, for sure, things are better now.
Scott Benner 1:01:46
That's good. Listen, it's not going to stop happening. Like, that's what I've learned from talking to people. Like, in the beginning, you wanted to say, like, oh, it's because they're nine, it's because they're 15, it's because they have diabetes, yeah. And like, I've now talked to somebody at every age 10 different times, and it's not changing. Like a 35 year old, a 45 year old, a 60 year old sometimes is like, I don't want to do this. And it's not a conscious give up. I know it's part of the churn of the whole thing. You know what I mean? Like, burn out, yeah, the way the water comes in and goes out and goes in the tide, like, just, sometimes just it, just it eats stuff up as it comes through, and I don't think there's anything you can do about it. Sometimes
Marissa 1:02:26
just, they just get burned out, you know. So I'm happy to take over whenever, and, you know, just kind of, you know, Bolus from the next room, or what, you know, whatever it is I need to do so they can just worry about being kids.
Scott Benner 1:02:38
I think that's awesome. I think that everybody diabetes or not, does better when there's a person with them that can just for a sec, just shoulder the load for a second for them, whatever it
Marissa 1:02:48
is. So, yeah, don't you say and I hope all the kids have that. I know it's difficult for a lot of parents, yeah.
Scott Benner 1:02:54
Well, listen, the biggest difficulty I see from people is that they're like, well, that's their disease. They should take care of it. Or where they're 13, what are they going to learn? They're 19, what are they going to learn? Like, I, you know, I would ask you, if you feel like that, like, go into a quiet room somewhere and be real honest with yourself and tell me, have you learned yet? You know what I mean? Like, there's not a thing you count on other people for. I think it's just frustration and and Everyone's tired. Oh, you know. So eventually you just go like, Oh, this is theirs, not
Marissa 1:03:22
mine, but it's kind of a family thing. I think it is. Yeah, I know you know what. I mean, it's just like, the whole family. We're all part of it. We're all diabetic,
Scott Benner 1:03:31
yeah, yeah, no. I mean, it's just my son the other day, like, he's a really sweet, nice, smart kid, right? And I was cleaning up after Arden's puppy. And he goes, where's Arden? I said, she's really sick. And he goes, Oh, she's been sick a lot lately. I said, Yeah, that's why I'm helping her. But he's still too young to know, like, what? Like, he still thinks, like, Well, you got to push through. Oh, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. I'm like, All right, man, well, like, she's pushing through. Like, you know she's not. Can jump out a window. You know what I mean? Like, she's, she's just, she's just laying down getting a nap and, like, and I'm gonna do this for her and and by the way, you know this morning when I came down to make myself breakfast, and you were working, and you were in between meetings, and you texted me and said, Hey, do I smell you cooking? I didn't say, push through, right? I said, Yeah, I'll make you a wrap too. You know what I mean
Marissa 1:04:23
Exactly? Well, I have to know about this puppy too, by the way. Oh Christ,
Scott Benner 1:04:27
listen, I made a mistake. I just want to say, Marissa, what kind of puppy he's a French Bulldog. Oh, those are so cute. And he's got Doberman colors. He's like, he's like, that brown, but he has a little bit of lighter brown in him and like he's so here's what happened. I don't know if I've been clear about this on the podcast yet, but we'll do it here. Marissa, why not? Right? So Arden's at SCAD the Savannah College of Art and Design for a couple of years learning how to make clothing. Yes, and I will not malign. Them, but it was a bad fit for Arden. That's polite. Okay, here's my own opinion, right? I don't think they do a good job of teaching anybody there seems a little bit like a mill, and maybe they're just happy to have your money. Oh, okay, I will use as a word for word. Example, Arden was in a pivotal class that she needed for her major. She needed an understanding of this thing to move on. She was told by her instructor directly, not through another person. And I know this is a quote, because it was texted to me. I can't believe this. This was just said to me, and I'm quoting. I've never done this professionally. I've never taught this before. Oh, if you have a question, don't ask me. Oh, my. And then they were given a YouTube link. Oh, gosh, I won't tell you how much I paid for that YouTube link, but that YouTube link was not enough for Arden to get a masterful grasp of what she needed to learn. And then she came to us and said, I now do not understand this thing, and if I am to go on to next year, I'm going to fail miserably for not having this understanding. It was about that time that she started taking a like, a step back and talking to more people, and they started realizing things like classes were not always available, and it started feeling like they weren't available on purpose so that you'd have to stay longer stuff like, Oh, I've run that past some people who know the school, and those people said that that's not a crazy thing for me to be wondering if that's happening. So anyway, all that put together, Arden said, I am going to leave here and pivot and go somewhere else, and I think I'm going to get a psychology degree. Awesome, right? So in the pressure of making that switch, she felt a lot of pressure just to keep going, because she knew she was going to be behind. So she, like, came home, told Scott she wasn't coming back, applied to a few schools, got accepted, and chose the best school that she was accepted to that for her major and everything. And then she was at Pitt University of Pittsburgh. Awesome, awesome. And she did great. I just want everybody to know like she was there for one semester, fantastic. Perfect grades, but she was literally by herself in a concrete box, and she did not know one person there, and everybody she was in school with was suddenly younger than her because of this thing. And she just one day, like, she was, like, I just, I just want to come home. Like, like, I want to just go somewhere close to home. So Arden is in school now close to our house. She's commuting. She's doing awesome. She's getting a she's getting a great degree, very positive. It's all going very well.
Marissa 1:07:50
That's awesome. I know you're glad to have her close too. Listen,
Scott Benner 1:07:54
of course, I want my kids around for as long as I possibly could, where it's not hurting them at the same time, all of that happening on top of itself. The thing you'll never know about SCAD was it was like a job, but it was like a job where you worked 1820 hours a day, and that's terrible. So she was there at 1819, just going that hard, then boom, pivot. Get her out of there. We had just gotten her her own place in Savannah, like, and we had to, like, like, get out of it for her to go to pit. And then she went all the way from Savannah to pit. Then she was completely by herself. And it just was anyway, I think, while she was at Pitt and she was by herself, she started sending everybody pictures of puppies. Oh, our dog had passed away. Our oldest dog had passed away that summer. Basal, no Indeed, indeed passed away this summer. Oh, so sorry. Thank you. But basal is 11. We didn't realize, because Indy was so freaking old, it made basal look like a puppy. But all of a sudden, all of a sudden, you're like, God, basal is a lot older than you think he is. Anyway. Like, look at this one, Dad, look at that when mom takes group chats with puppy pictures all the time, and I'm like, no one's getting a puppy. We're not getting a puppy. Leave me alone. No puppy, no puppy, no puppy, no puppy. And my wife's like, you know, I really think she could use something, and she's having a tough time. And so, like, that was in my head a little bit, but I was still hard lined. I was like, I know a puppy's a mistake. Like, we're not getting a puppy. Like, we'll get her anything else. Well, one day, she sent a picture of this puppy, and I was like, God, damn, this Puppy's Cute, right? So like, I think I got, like, weak, and then the picture got me, honestly, it just felt like she needed something positive to happen. And we love, like, you know, we love our dogs. So like, Yeah, we had a long, like, a lot of long discussions. They were uncomfortable at some points even about, like, you know, this is your dog, like, that kind of thing. But the last bit was, when you move out, this dog goes with you, if that's a year from now or five years from now, I don't care. But that's not my dog. It's your dog. So anyway, yeah. He's really adorable. Like, if you're listening to this, like, go find my Instagram and look around, because there's a really cute dog on that Instagram.
Marissa 1:10:08
I'll do that because I love puppies. Like, I think puppy is always the right answer. Puppy is always the right answer, always the right answer. You
Scott Benner 1:10:15
trying to name your episode? Oh, I don't know.
Marissa 1:10:19
I do love puppies. I was going to
Scott Benner 1:10:21
use that thing that you said at the end of that sentence, which, by the way, you you successfully stopped saying after you said, Oh,
Marissa 1:10:26
thank you. Thank you. I guess I was like, subconsciously, you know, aware you probably shut it
Scott Benner 1:10:31
off. Yeah, don't do any more southern stuff. So is there anything we haven't talked about that we should have?
Marissa 1:10:37
I think we're good. You know, I had broke down a few notes and stuff. So I think, I think I'm good. We made it through. We got, we got what you wanted. Yes, I really appreciate you talking with me. Oh no,
Scott Benner 1:10:49
it's been great. The puppy picture was put up on February 7.
Marissa 1:10:53
What's his name? Friday? That's cute. Why is that? Is there a special reason? No,
Scott Benner 1:10:59
just, Arden was just going through names and trying to figure it out. And it was during the the Eagles run the Super Bowl. So my son was pushing very hard to call him say, Quan, I'll tell you that much. He started calling the puppy say, Quan, okay. She's like, that's not his name. And he goes, it should be no, I don't know. She just went over a bunch of different names, and she's like, I think I'm gonna call him Friday. I was like, Okay, so he's Friday.
Marissa 1:11:22
Oh, awesome. Well, congrats. It's like having a baby. Oh yeah, you
Scott Benner 1:11:26
just learned to go up and down the stairs, which is at a dimension we've, we've had in this house two dogs before Friday, and they, they don't do stairs, like I, I've dogs that have never been upstairs in my house like, because they they will not go up the stairs. They will only go down a few stairs. They're just like, they've never been stare dogs, man, this day, this dog, I'm upstairs one day, and I'm like, what's hitting me in the back of my leg? And he's like, there. I'm like, Oh no. And then I was like, I was like, gonna go back down? He stared. He stares at the staircase, and he's like, I'm not going back down. So we thought, okay, maybe that'll keep him from going up. Wouldn't stop him from going up. The other day, he just, I watched him just run down a flight of stairs, and I was like, Oh, I
Marissa 1:12:09
know, right. You're like, now he can make a mess in two floors. Exactly
Scott Benner 1:12:13
what I was thinking. I was like, Oh no, we were keeping the puppy explosion in one place anyway. This was really nice, thanking me. But this was really nice of you to do like, you know, you tell your story of your boys and and your family and everything, and share with other people and and get me talking, and I think I said some pretty valuable stuff there around the 45 minute work, yeah, and I and you did as well. So I'm thanking you. It's very nice.
Marissa 1:12:35
Oh, I hope so. I just, you know, I want people to know that, you know, diabetes is not the worst whatever. I think everybody knows diabetes is not the worst thing, but I just think it was like I was so grateful that my kid had diabetes instead of whatever else My mind was was thinking up, yeah, and it was such a great accidental way to learn. In fact, after he kind of got well and he was in the honeymoon phase, he didn't even require insulin for like, a year. No, no, yeah. And so then he came out of the honeymoon phase and blah, blah, blah. But my his, I think his agency was like 6.9 when he was diagnosed.
Scott Benner 1:13:11
Okay, you know the irony here is your husband's freak out gave you perspective that you probably wouldn't have gotten otherwise.
Marissa 1:13:18
Yeah, you're probably right, yeah, even though thank him, yeah.
Scott Benner 1:13:22
Well, listen, there's no you don't have to do that. That's okay. You don't want to start making him feel like he's valued or smart, because then he's going to get all full of himself. Okay. Keep him right where you have less true. How long did it take you to put him where he is right now, keep,
Marissa 1:13:36
oh, gosh, I think I'm still working on it.
Scott Benner 1:13:40
That's the difference between the South and the North? Because my wife put me in my spot pretty early on. I was like, oh, okay, is this where I belong? Oh, maybe that is the difference. Well, I'm moving to Arkansas, then, yeah, you should visit. It's really pretty here. Oh, no kidding. All right. Well, I'll put it on my list of to do's, is there a time of year I do not want to come? I mean,
Marissa 1:13:57
if you don't like hot weather, you probably don't want to be here, like August, maybe even September.
Scott Benner 1:14:03
Okay, all right, yeah, Arkansas, not in August or September.
Marissa 1:14:07
Yeah, like, right now it's 70 degrees, skies blue, some clouds, breezy. It's just beautiful today, but it's April. So and
Scott Benner 1:14:16
do we call ourselves Razorbacks? Or is that?
Marissa 1:14:18
Oh my gosh, yes. Razorbacks, Arkansas. Razorbacks, the Go hogs. That's what you say. Yeah, that's what I say. Well, that's what Arkansans say when I get there, Arkansas. Oh, I never thought of that. There are Kansans. Oh, you're an arkansan. Yeah, it's an Arkan we are Arkansans. I like you saying that. Okay, all right. Well, like Kansans, but Arkansans, oh, wait, so
Scott Benner 1:14:39
if I'm from Kansas, I'm a Kansan, I guess, Oh, you don't know. I
Marissa 1:14:44
don't really know, but we are our Kansans, so I'm not sure. That's a really good question. Well,
Speaker 1 1:14:48
I don't know. It doesn't matter. We'll be okay. All right, hold on one second. All right. Thanks. You.
Scott Benner 1:15:00
Dexcom sponsored this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom g7 at my link. Dexcom.com/juicebox the podcast you just enjoyed was sponsored by tandem diabetes care. Learn more about tandems, newest automated insulin delivery system, tandem Moby, with control iq plus technology at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox there are links in the show notes and links at Juicebox podcast.com. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Hey kids, listen up. You've made it to the end of the podcast. You must have enjoyed it. You know what else you might enjoy? The private Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast. I know you're thinking, uh, Facebook, Scott, please. But no. Beautiful group, wonderful people, a fantastic community, Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. Of course, if you have type two, are you touched by diabetes in any way? You're absolutely welcome. It's a private group, so you'll have to answer a couple of questions before you come in, but make sure you're not a bot or an evildoer. Then you're on your way. You'll be part of the family. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com.
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