#1090 Diabetes Breakdown

Emma is 22 and has had T1D for a little over a year.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1090 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Emma. She is 22 years old and has recently been diagnosed with type one diabetes. TODAY Emma is going to share her story with us. We're going to talk a little bit about ozempic and you're going to hear about some of the frustrations that she has. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cosy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D. Drink ag one.com/juicebox If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode

this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo penne Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox Hi,

Emma 1:43
I'm Emma. I am 22 years old and I have type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 1:49
And how long have you had type one?

Emma 1:52
For about a little over a year?

Scott Benner 1:55
This is first Yeah. Okay. Did that suck?

Emma 2:01
For a little bit? It sucked. Yeah, I was in I was in school. I was a junior. And it was right when all the hard stuff was happening like academically. So it was like it was a lot at one time. But yeah.

Scott Benner 2:12
Do you think younger people are like wait, college isn't hard right away?

Emma 2:17
Yeah, I mean, I feel like a lot of universities kind of ease you into it. Freshman year is is a lot about figuring out your life socially as well as academically and, and getting that independence. So I hope I hope that freshman year is easier than junior year. But yeah,

Scott Benner 2:35
I see what you mean. I watched it happen with both my kids. And yeah, but when it's happening to you as a freshman, you don't think oh, this is easy. Right? I didn't mute my phone plug in me giving you all kinds of roles before we start. I didn't need my phone. Sorry about that. Okay, so Okay, so you're at school? Everything's just good. Oh,

Emma 2:56
for diagnosis. Yes. I just graduated. But

Scott Benner 2:59
yeah, yeah, no, I mean, when you were diagnosed, so you're Are you far from home or relatively close.

Emma 3:06
So I'm far I'm from Texas, originally. And I'm in Miami for school. That was maybe the hardest thing like being so far from my parents. I was in the hospital for like, three days. And they were like, constant on the phone with me. And they were like, We can fly down like if you need but I was about to turn 21. And I was like, you know, I just I think I can do this. I don't I don't need you to come down my boyfriend was was in me in the hospital, or was in the hospital with me? For those three days, so and that made it a lot easier. But yeah, having is because it's an in between period where like, you're not quite like a full adult, but you're not like super rely on your parents anymore. So that was a hard, hard time.

Scott Benner 3:58
Plus, you probably don't know about the more frightening aspects of diabetes in the very beginning, right?

Emma 4:06
No, I knew nothing about diabetes. I knew absolutely nothing. Because no one in my family has diabetes or like any autoimmune stuff. So it was completely a surprise.

Scott Benner 4:17
Like if you were in the hospital and a nurse was like, hey, this insulin if you give yourself too much of it, you could have a seizure and die. You think you would have told your mom to fly there right away? I have like a mom, I just found out. I'm not an adult. I'm looking at this dumb boy that I'm dating and I don't think he can handle this.

Emma 4:37
Yeah, no, so true. And they didn't even really tell me anything in the hospital like, they, they were they were like, Okay, you take six units of this when you eat and then you take 12 of this like every night, and then like maybe it'll be fine. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess I'll do that.

Scott Benner 4:58
Yeah, it's So, how long are you in the hospital for?

Emma 5:02
I was in the hospital for three days. Okay. Yeah, I was like emailing all my professors. Sorry, come to class and they weren't most of them are really understanding and very kind.

Scott Benner 5:15
So, or any of them not

Emma 5:19
know because because I'm so I'm at school for music so all my classes were really small and I knew most of my professors like pretty personally. Sure. So they were they were very understanding that

Scott Benner 5:31
makes sense. Okay, so you get back to school, and it's just back to the schedule. So do you learn diabetes while you're going to class or you do take a couple days off? When you have diabetes and use insulin, low blood sugar can happen when you don't expect it. G Bo Capo pen is a ready to use glucagon option that can treat very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes. ages two and above. Find out more go to G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox G voc shouldn't be used in patients with pheochromocytoma or insulinoma visit G voc glucagon.com/risk.

Emma 6:13
No know I just went right back to school. I did. Yeah, there was I think like two classes specifically that were mostly lecture based. It was music history. And then I was doing a music for special learners class that were all lectures and I just like completely tuned out. I like was reading blogs. I was reading like academic journals about type one. And and yeah, I was not paying attention at all.

Scott Benner 6:42
Well, it's overwhelming, right? Like you're completely by yourself. And there's this thing. It's lifelong. And you don't have a lot of contexts where but you were very interested to learn more. You didn't just go with the well, this is what they said. And this is what I need to know you. You tried to figure out more? For

Emma 6:56
sure. For sure. Yeah. And like why would I want to learn about like vogner being anti semitic when I could learn something that could save my life? You know what I mean? Was he Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right.

Scott Benner 7:09
Well, that also seems like something you could learn in four seconds. Like you told me now and I'll never forget that. I'd be like, Okay. Does it hurt you in school? Are you are you able to kind of keep up at the same time?

Emma 7:23
My GPA dropped a little bit. I think that semester, I was sitting at like, a, like a 3.8. And I think that specific semester, it was like, 3.4. No,

Scott Benner 7:34
I think I think that'll be okay. But yeah,

Emma 7:37
no, I'm good. I graduated got my degree. So

Scott Benner 7:40
you got your degree in music. But are you uh, are you teaching music? Yeah,

Emma 7:44
so my degrees in music education. Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 7:48
Little kids are who you teaching.

Emma 7:50
So I'm certified K through 12. But I think I want to teach elementary music. I just finished my internship, which is for education majors. The last semester of your four years in college is your student teaching. So you're not in school and in college at all, but you're in school is teaching like with a mentor, teacher? And stuff?

Scott Benner 8:14
Nice. Do you play instruments?

Emma 8:16
I'm a vocalist.

Scott Benner 8:18
Nice. So how do you? So I'm trying to think back to when I was in school? So like chorus class, I remember that. Is that going to be your vibe, you're going to teach kids to sing and things like that?

Emma 8:31
Yeah, I so I taught for my placement, I split placement. So I was in a secondary school, teaching sixth through 12th grade choir for half of the semester, which I loved. And then for the other half, I was teaching general music, second through fifth grade. And I really love both I coming into it. I thought that I was just elementary because like, my mind kind of works that way. And my mom is also a music educator. She teaches a little kids too. But I really love teaching choir. I think that wherever I end up I would also want to do either like after school choir, or like a community choir somewhere. But yeah,

Scott Benner 9:12
I want to give you a piece of advice based on an experience I had as a child. Okay, don't let your skirt get stuck in your leggings before you go up on stage to run the like thing when all the parents come. Okay, cool. I watched that happen girl lady. She didn't seem she was embarrassed. She was very very No, that's terrible. Yeah, that seems bad. Yeah, don't do that. I think you're gonna be fine after that. Okay. Okay, so you've only got diabetes now for like a year. So do they give you technology at the hospital? Do you learn about technology? Are you still NDI? What is happening with all that?

Emma 9:46
So I was MDI for the first like three months. And I had first it was like, long acting pen short acting pen. Well No, it was always that, but I got the ink pen about like, a week after I got out of hospital, which was really awesome. And I was on the ink pen for like three months. Diagnosis, my agency was 11.9. And then after the first three months on the ink pen, I dropped it to 6.5. Which was great. Yeah,

Scott Benner 10:23
no kidding. Are you very Yeah.

Emma 10:27
No, not at all. Actually, I like walked to school and stuff. But no, it was very honest.

Scott Benner 10:34
She like No, no, I am not an active person. What would you consider your kind of fueling plan? Like how did you eat prior to diabetes?

Emma 10:45
My, my boyfriend looks a lot for me. And he's Cuban. So he would make a lot of like Cuban food. And at the time, he was working in a restaurant. So he was also learning other stuff, too. But I would just eat whatever he would make for me, which was, yeah, but right now Well, after after diagnosis, I was getting all this information from like, the hospital and things is like, you have to do this like half this like plate diagram thing, where half of it is, is vegetables. And the other half is like, are quarters protein and carbs, whatever, which is more of a type two thing, but that's what they told me. So I kind of just like ran with that. And my boyfriend I started like meal prepping, which really, I think was a was a key factor in bringing my agency down. Like, because having having those consistent meals that I like, could learn what to Bolus for, like, throughout the week. And just every time it was easier, because like, I knew what to expect. That made it a lot easier.

Scott Benner 11:50
You know, I joked about this boy earlier, but it sounds like he was pretty invested in helping you

Emma 11:55
know, he's, he's, he's the best. And he, like, out of everyone in my life, even really, my parents like he gave to you, he's taking the most time to like, learn about type one. And like, he knows what most of my alarms mean. He knows what to do if anything happens. And he like cooks for me. And he learned how to carb cow, like, in a few weeks and was helpful in that way too. He like he learned how to tell me like when to Pre-Bolus and stuff because since he was cooking, he would be the one that would know when the food would be ready in 20 minutes. So you'd be like, Okay, I'm you need to Bolus now. Because you learned about Pre-Bolus thing and things like that. So that's really nice, amazing. Yeah,

Scott Benner 12:36
he deserves a long leash. In case he messes up. You know what I mean? Because eventually, it's going to screw something up. So just, you know, remember this part that he did learn about Pre-Bolus thing? So Oh, wow, that's really kind of that's wonderful. Especially because you're by yourself. I mean, there's nobody else there. How much do you allow friends and into this new world?

Emma 13:02
I kind of let them decide. I mean, like my roommate in college, she, she was like on my Dexcom. Obviously, she's learned less about it. But she kind of knows the ropes. I think I saw I do but okay, but if my friends were like, can I be on your Dexcom? I'll be like, yes. And I'll send them an invite, because I just I think that that's super cute for them to know how I'm doing. And I have, this is gonna sound so like young, but I have a private Snapchat story that's called diabetes diaries. And that's what I like, post on all the updates of like, and then the first few months it was like, I'm low or like, I'm high or like, this is me putting on my Dexcom or my Omnipod when I got that. Yeah, some of my friends are more invested than others. But the people I met story are the people that have like shown interest in learning about diabetes, which I think is really awesome.

Scott Benner 14:04
Can you tell me a little bit about wanting to share it that way? Like, what's the what's the reason it makes you like me? You don't I mean? Like, what makes you start doing that? What did you get from it or not get from it?

Emma 14:17
I think I don't know I because I'm not really someone who like puts everything on social media either. But like when I was diagnosed, I knew absolutely nothing about type one, even though I like I knew people. I had friends in high school who had type one, but they never really talked about it. So I didn't know anything. And I just there's so many like misconceptions and and stereotypes and like, just like things that people don't know so so. I don't know I like to advocate for people with type one.

Scott Benner 14:53
It feels it felt important then to help other people understand the reality of what had happened deal? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you think you did that? Do you think you reach people and, and change their opinions or educated them?

Emma 15:08
I think so. I think so I think, but it really it's, it's about, like how much you as an individual wants to receive the information, you know, because you can just like, swipe on the story and skip it. You know, it's, it's up to the individual, but I do have great friends who, who have been invested and learning, which is great.

Scott Benner 15:31
Yeah, of course. No, I mean, you're just putting it out there. It's, it's up to other people to pick it up or not. But I'm just wondering if you actually saw people responding. That was beyond like, Oh, I'm sorry. Like if they if they got interested, like, if you really felt like you left them with something? No,

Emma 15:46
I think I did. Like when I, oh, whenever I get my new a one sees, oh, like posted on there. And more often than not like, probably five people will be like, well swipe up and respond and be like, yeah.

Scott Benner 16:00
That's really great. That's excellent. Is it something you kept up with? Or did they die off after a bit?

Emma 16:04
No, I still post on that I posted today. I was like, gonna be a guest on my favorite diabetes podcast. So good vibes. And everyone's like, yeah.

Scott Benner 16:15
Are you on a different podcast after we record this?

Emma 16:17
Oh, no.

Scott Benner 16:20
I'm just kidding. I was trying to be humble and funny. At the same time, it didn't work. I apologize. Okay, so you said you were doing a lot of reading online? Is that where you found out about the podcast? No.

Emma 16:32
So I found out about it, really in the hospital. But I didn't start listening until until later. But I saw I in the hospital, I was like, doing crazy Googling, just like googling every question that popped into my head as you do. And at the time, I was 20. And was going to turn 21 in like a month. And so I was like, like, what's the deal with drinking and like alcohol? Because obviously, that is a factor, but I don't know what that is. And every like, Article I would find on Google was like, don't drink, like maybe like one, but like, it's not safe. So like, just don't. And I was like, I I'm in college. Like I'm about turn 21 Like, that's not gonna be real life for me.

Scott Benner 17:24
I'm sorry. That's an incorrect answer. Yeah, I was gonna add, I was funny. You said I looked into questions that I thought of, and I thought, Oh, I actually wrote down in front of me, like, ask her some of the questions that she asked. And you were like drinking, were there other ones besides drinking? Or was that really the main focus?

See, Emma, that was funny because you come off. So like, you come off so nicely, like very, like, mature and like everything. That's like, I wonder what she asked about. And then when you said that, I was like, oh, okay, that checks out. So did you figure out how to drink?

Emma 18:01
Yeah, so Okay, so after that, I was like, This can't be real. I know that people will type one drink. So I joined a Facebook group, which was not yours. I will tell you that it was not yours. It was a different one. And I made a post and I was like, hey, like, I just got diagnosed, sitting in the hospital, about turning 21 Like, what to do with drinking any like advice, or like, tips and tricks would be welcome. And I got like, like, probably, like, just dozens of comments and ranging from like, No, I don't drink or like, Yeah, I'll have a beer. Or like a wine works for me. seltzers whatever. And then people were like, Don't Bolus because you'll go high but then you'll come crashing down. Things like that. Other people were like, no, just smoke weed like don't mess with alcohol. People are like

Scott Benner 18:51
skip vodka go right to morphine.

Emma 18:56
Yeah, so like plenty of times of advice. And then one of them was like, listen to this episode of his podcast and it was a link to the one of your after dark episodes about

Scott Benner 19:07
alcohol. Oh, sure. Yeah, I remember doing that one. Yeah,

Emma 19:11
and so I didn't listen in the hospital because I was overwhelmed and sleeping a lot but about like probably a week after I got out I listened to that episode. And then I just like couldn't get enough I just kept listening and listening and it was truly information that saved my life because like it's not information that you can get like readily anywhere because it's like real from like real people who Yeah, who you know

Scott Benner 19:37
you don't you don't think one of the big pharma companies is gonna do a big blog posts on how to get loaded while you have type one diabetes.

Emma 19:45
But probably not

Scott Benner 19:47
that person in that episode now, by the way is a is a mommy she like has a baby. Cool. That's great. Yeah, it's been a while now. Okay, so I so Uncle Scott taught you how to drink with your insulin that and that should be on my tombstone, don't you think I wonder how many people but that's just that's, that's terrific. And you did get to it quickly, like you said, Oh, I didn't do it right away in the hospital because I was tired. But a week or so later is, I think an indication of how much you wanted to drink. Am I right?

Emma 20:21
I mean, the time clock was ticking. There was like, a less than probably three weeks that I had to figure it out.

Scott Benner 20:27
Mom got important things I gotta figure out over here. I got number five on my list. Where does this insulin come from? Number two is how do I get drunk? That's excellent. Exactly. You have any kind of depression or sadness after you were diagnosed? No,

Emma 20:46
no, I had a good support system, which I think was really key. There was a lot of like, frustration of just like, it's a lot of like trying things and then then not working and then doing something differently next time. And I was like, learning things so quickly that it was like information overload. But But no, like, it didn't really affect it, honestly, honestly. Because for like three months about I my blood sugar's were like crazy high. And I just didn't know it. So I was like, super tired all the time. Obviously, like, you know, high. Being high is not fun. But I didn't know what I was just like, Oh, I'm burnt out from school, which is why I'm napping two times a day. And like, I'm irritable all the time. And whatever. So once I got my blood sugar's in range, like it was, honestly, you

Scott Benner 21:40
really I felt better. Yeah, you were relieved to have a reason for why you felt that way. Yeah, and none of you don't have any of those like your brain chemistry doesn't work. Like why me this isn't fair. I'm in college. I'm so young. None of that comes into your head. Oh,

Emma 21:55
I have I'm like once a month, I would say I have like a diabetes breakdown is what I call them. Like it just but you have to do that. Like you have to just get it out somehow. But most for the most part, I'm like, I'm doing okay. And I was doing okay,

Scott Benner 22:11
strong contender for the title of your episode. By the way. What is it was that diabetes breakdown? Yeah, it's got double entendre means different things gonna be fantastic. Okay, so I get that. Like, where does the breakdown go to? Like D throw something? Is it like loud cursing, screaming into a pillow crying? How does it happen? Just

Emma 22:32
like, just like, heavy crying? Like sobbing. Sobbing Yeah.

Scott Benner 22:38
I love the sob just. Yeah, it really is like, you feel better afterwards, don't

Emma 22:44
you? Truly? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like a crier in general. So this on top of that was it was it was bound to happen that way. I had one at school, which was not fun at all.

Scott Benner 22:55
Like in, in class or just in your dorm. Like

Emma 22:59
in like, the elementary school I was teaching at

Scott Benner 23:03
Oh, while you were teaching. Okay, we'll get back to that. Did you cry during the recent Guardians of the Galaxy film Guardians of the Galaxy? See? No, yeah. No spoilers. I'm not gonna spoil it for you. But I cried. And, and a little bit, not like bawling, but like tears, and you're watching a movie that is so clearly not reality. Or you cry during something like that. You say to yourself, yeah, I'm a person that can cry. Yes. That's really, that's a thing I can do. Okay, you should get out to see it, though. It was good. Okay, all right. Okay, so you get out of school, and you have a job, and you kind of fall apart at work. What led? Yeah.

Emma 23:45
So what happened? was, um, so my teacher, what my teachers, like, my mentor teachers at the schools knew I had diabetes. And like, I didn't know much, obviously. So like, when they would hear alarms, you'd be like, are you good? I'd be like, Yeah, fine. But there was one day where my teacher it was a Wednesday, so she had planning all day planning periods, no real classes with kids, which was fortunate for me because this happened. But she was saying yesterday, the day before that, that she was going to take me out to lunch or whatever. And I forgot about that. And I brought my lunch. And then 20 minutes before the time that we usually eat i Pre-Bolus Obviously, so that I could eat, but then like 10 minutes after that she like came in and was like, Do you want to leave for lunch and like overlong and I was like, Oh, yeah. And I didn't want to be like a bother. So I was like, Yeah, sure. And I was like, okay, maybe I can just like have something to eat now. So I want to have to have as many carbs and then it'll balance out and then I'll just like Bolus when I get there. And then, like the place that we were going to pick up food was like Closed. And then we like she, like didn't really do anything about it. And we just like moved on to like lesson planning. And I was like, oh,

Scott Benner 25:08
oh, she's like, bummer. This is closed. Let's go back to work. Yeah,

Emma 25:12
like, we'll just figure it out after like, I explained this lesson plan to you.

Scott Benner 25:16
And I was like, I'm just gonna be flipping around like a fish by then.

Emma 25:20
Exactly. And so then I was like, I just, I'll be right back. And I was like, okay, so I like, go to the vending machine in the lounge. And I was like, I'll just get like a soda, and then I'll just sleep on it, and it'll be okay. And then the vending machine was cash only, which that is so stupid, because cash doesn't exist anymore. That's not real money. Like, why would that be a thing? So I was like, freaking out.

Scott Benner 25:50
I was like, crying glass.

Emma 25:53
No, no, no. And there wasn't even like soda. It was like Gatorade. And I was like,

Scott Benner 25:58
what I want you're gonna get all this trouble to get into this machine to get something I don't even want. Oh, well, it

Emma 26:07
was horrible. It's horrible. And so then I like texted her and I was like, I just listen, I just need to eat lunch. And she was like, Okay, I understand. Like, let's let's do it. Let's eat. And it was just so frustrating. And then I went Hi, which was so annoying. It was so annoying with all that going on. And yeah, probably

Scott Benner 26:25
got hit pretty hard with some adrenaline when you realize there was no food. Yeah. So after all that, do you just melt down?

Emma 26:36
Yeah, yeah, like, mascara running down my cheeks. It was that. And we have lunch with the art teacher too. Who was like, also crazy in a good way. And I just got to like vent to them, which was, which was good.

Scott Benner 26:52
We all are, by the way, the art teachers. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, just like hippies. And, like, that kind of vibe. I remember my art teacher. I remember my art teacher when I was in middle school. Had a, like a cow's skull. And it had like real real cow skull that had like a bullet hole in it. So you can see that the cow was put down for meat. And then anytime someone looked at it, she would tell you about being a vegetarian. Like it was. Oh my God, it was her. It was her starter for like she wanted to bang the drum for not eating meat. And so that thing there I think I always got the vibe was that was supposed to horrify you. And then she I think she thought she was going to create a legion of vegetarians. No, no, but an artists art teacher in high school. She's like, she's so nice and gentle. And like, that's how she talks about her like she's gentle. And it's just interesting. So these ladies were I'm sorry, they were ladies. Yeah, yeah, these ladies were supportive and understanding. They just listened. Did you feel supported?

Emma 28:05
Yeah, I did. Yeah. And then my, the art teachers stepdad also has type one who was she's close with her stepdad. And so she was like, she was like, Yeah, my stepdad like, he'll just be beeping all day. And because he's like, low all day is what she said. Like, and he just my mom, her mom and her are like, you'd have to eat a little something like every few hours and you'll be okay. But he's like waking up in the night because he's low. And so I try to like give her a little, like, usually lower Basal maybe, but those words don't mean anything to her. So I don't know. But they were very understanding.

Scott Benner 28:45
I have one more question about that moment. The the end when it's mascara and everything that's happening is that frustration, anger. Fear. What was motivating, your,

Emma 29:00
your feelings? Definitely. frustration and anger too. Because I get frustrated about like, like the situation. And then it's just like a broader anger of like, why is this happening in my life? Like, because there's no reason like my family doesn't have autoimmune stuff. So at

Scott Benner 29:21
all, we don't have celiac somewhere. Nothing.

Emma 29:24
No, which is so annoying. It's so annoying. baranda that was me.

Scott Benner 29:29
Yeah. Your diagnosis was it precipitated by a virus of any kind?

Emma 29:34
I think so. They never said that. But I got sick in December of my junior year. And then I like never really like it like took months for me for like the cough to go away. And then that kind of lines up with my agency to being so high. It was about three months after that, that I got diagnosed

Scott Benner 29:57
so you know what kind of illness it was? No, just like a cold. Okay, but you couldn't shake it? No. I'm sorry. Almost like your immune system was busy doing something else. Yeah, beating your pancreas.

Emma 30:13
Right. Yeah. Absolutely. So after after I got sick. That was when I started seeing the symptoms that I know now we're high blood sugars, like thirsty all the time. I was like, paying a lot like waking up in the night to go to the bathroom, and stuff. And what's super funny is that when all that was happening, I was so thirsty all the time, I was craving juice. So I would like whenever I'd go to like the store to get something or like the market at school, I would be like, Who wants us to I want because I was a self proclaimed juice girl, which is hilarious because it was just dragging my blood sugar was so high. I know it. And I would feel like garbage after I like was dreaming. I was juice. But

Scott Benner 30:58
were people calling you juice girl, or was this just something you had attached yourself?

Emma 31:03
No, I was just like, I was just like, Oh, I'm gonna use Chrome. No good juice.

Scott Benner 31:09
I don't think juice girl beats out diabetes breakdown, but I'll jot it down. Don't Don't worry. I'll jot it down. Don't use girl. That's the worst superhero. Yeah. to do with that, like score people in the face with a little straw. Maybe you're not gonna stop much crime, though. What? If? You know, I don't know if you've done this, but I'm going to ask have you given any consideration to how this impacted you with the age you were diagnosed versus how it would have been if you were younger? When it happened?

Emma 31:43
I do. Yeah. I so I think that because because my parents are wonderful. Like, they're really wonderful people. And they've always been invested in my growth and my school and everything like that. And so I think that if I was diagnosed younger, they would have had a huge part to play in my management and stuff. And my dad is someone who is super, super smart. And I think that he would get a handle on it really quickly. Sort of like you his name was also Scott, which I think is is it really? Because yeah, because he's like my dad, and then you're like my, like diabetes that

Scott Benner 32:25
oh, so nice. But

Emma 32:29
so, so yeah, I think that they would have had a big part to play my management. But since I was away from home when it happened and sort of like not really relying on them, like they haven't learned that much about it. And they like visited me for the first time, like, three months after it happened. And they were like, I was like doing injections. And they were just kind of like staring which like, be like, obviously you would be like curious about it. And whenever we're together they like will ask questions and things but they I don't know. They're so I story. It was the fourth of July this summer after I was diagnosed. And they were basically like, okay, just tell us like what you need us to do. I was like, okay, like, just tell me like 20 minutes before we'll eat. We're eating lunch and I'll Pre-Bolus They were like, okay, boiler alert. That did not happen. They were like, Okay, grab a play. And I was like, oh, okay, so I

Scott Benner 33:32
want you to do one thing.

Emma 33:36
Right? And then they realized, and they're like, Oh, we can wait. And I was like, okay, whatever. So I was like, I was like trying to like carb count. I was looking at like, the packages that were in the trash of like the hamburger buns and things like that. And, like trying to count up all these carbs. And then my mom was like, my mom was like Emma like, hurry. Like, why aren't you doing it? So we can like eat? You lady. I'd be like, you asked me what you can do. I know. Like, oh, so that was also another breakdown that I had. And I like had to like leave like went to the bedroom. And I was just like sobbing. And wait, hold on. Can you hear me my I think my iPad just died.

Scott Benner 34:23
I mean, I can but if your air pod died, we're in trouble.

Emma 34:27
Now you're good once so like we're still alive. In the case. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So so I was like, sobbing and she like, came to see me and she was like, I'm sorry. Like, do you like tell me what's going on? And I was like, you're just like, don't know anything. I don't know why you don't know anything like like, why haven't you like, done your research? Like, you should be like, I have type one. Like you should know these things. And she was like, Well, it's hard because like you're not around to like, ask questions and stuff. And I remember Like I was like, read a book. Like I do I do get it because because I'm also someone that would probably be in the same boat as them. I

Scott Benner 35:12
don't know about that you you got right to it when you were diagnosed?

Emma 35:15
Yeah, but But I mean, they like I can't stress enough like how I

Scott Benner 35:21
love why No, they're lovely. You love them. We're just telling a story, I hear you. But pick through this for a second because you hit on something that crushes me as a parent. Two things, actually, you teed me up to be very upset. So there's two things that I struggle with a lot. And the first thing is, I always wonder, just on a very human level, is there somewhere in the back of their mind that your parents are just relieved that you're an adult when this happened to you? And that they're just like, me, like, I, I'm so glad I don't have to be involved in this. Or are they relieved, but sad that they're relieved? Because it's hard to let go of it. Like Arden texted us last night, like, I can't, I can't stress enough, my wife and I had a really nice day yesterday. And we get in bed. And we're actually talking about how nicely the day went. This is the part where if we were younger, we would have sex, but instead, Emma were older. So we chat about how nice the day is, right? And we're talking about it. And Arden sends a text that she's having trouble with something. And you my first thought is, I am so sorry. And upset that she's not here so I can help her. And then there is a little party that's like, I guess she's gonna have to take care of it on her own. And that's good for her too. And maybe that'll alleviate the guilt, I feel about not being able to be there. And so like, that's a whole thing that happens with your kids. And you were probably your parents were probably like, like, you seem like a lovely person. So when you're like this age, and almost on college, they're probably like, huh, Emma, we got her right. Like, she's gonna go get a job and teach kids how to sing. And she's lovely. And she met that boy and he cooks for and they're probably like, pretty comfortable. You know what I mean? And then all of a sudden, you have a need that mimics a childhood need. And they're not there. They feel disconnected. They think, oh, okay, well, she's gonna have to get it. It's gonna be good for her to figure it out. And then they let go of it. I imagined but then they see you in person. And you say they're looking at you. I'm gonna give you another perspective on that moment, when they said, Can we help? And you said, let me know. 20 minutes before dinner. I'm gonna guess they were heartbroken watching you give yourself your insulin. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna guess they were mortified, heartbroken, felt lost and useless and didn't know what to do. Now, granted, they could have got off on the right foot by setting a timer, or something. But, but um, but but that's my guess is that they probably felt useless in that moment. And that's, that's not an easy thing to feel as a parent. So that's my side of it. But you're in the room yelling at her that she should have done something. Go ahead. I'm sorry. From there.

Emma 38:21
No, I mean, that was basically it. I mean, yeah, let it go. Ya know, and from then on, like, they got good about about giving me a heads up about when they'll be ready. Because I'm home. My mom cooks and so

Scott Benner 38:36
she don't wanna get she want to get. She's like, Oh, I see where this is going. This girl's aggressive. Do you think you're a different person now than you were when you left for college?

Emma 38:47
Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah, I've done a lot of growing. And in the last four years, definitely. That's hard

Scott Benner 38:54
to as a parent to, for you to come back and not be the person you were when you left? Yeah, you know, and there's so much that I find the unknown to be the most difficult part. Like right now. My kids are somewhere doing something. I have a vague idea of where they are and a vague idea of what they're doing. But they're having these experiences. And these moments, seemingly, like hourly that I'm not there for, and it's very upsetting. I don't I don't know another way to put it like i I wish there was a way for you, Emma to have all the privacy you wanted and for your mom to be able to watch your life on closed circuit television. Because she feels like you're becoming a person that she doesn't know. And it's it's a very, very upsetting I don't even know what better way to say it. It's it's incredible. Anyway,

Emma 39:53
I mean, I don't I don't I would have talked to her about it, but I don't I don't know about that. I mean, I've been in like middle school and high school. Have we like fought all the time? Because we're so similar. But now like, we're really good friends like I texture. Probably every other day we call the time. And we're a lot closer than we were, then.

Scott Benner 40:14
Well, you, you you feel close to her because you're an adult now. But she felt closer to you when you were seven? Probably.

Emma 40:22
Yeah, no. And yesterday was Mother's Day. And so I asked her, like, what was your favorite age that we weren't like to be a mom? And she was like, yeah, probably elementary school, because like, y'all would come home from school, and we would my brother and I have a brother who's two years older than me. And y'all would come home from school, and we would just like cuddle on the couch. And y'all would tell me about your day. And I would I would ask you like, do you think you'll ever grow out of it out of this? No, we're like, no, never will always do this. So

Scott Benner 40:53
every kid thinks they're gonna live across the street, when they grow up. Yeah, like, I'll just I'll go to the place across the street and live there. So we can be near each other. Yeah, my kids would come home, and we'd sit in the kitchen and talk about the day. And you know, spend a little time and then they'd eat something and you'd keep talking. And it's one of my favorite times to, but not that this isn't a good thing, the part where you're an adult. And by the way, if it wasn't for death, Emma, I would be down with this part. Except I'm getting old. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, so I don't want to, I don't know. It just feels like, it feels like things happen in big sections. And then at some part, point, one of my kids is gonna get married or something like that. And then the next thing, you know, like, I'm going to be the old guy at the wedding. And then they'll make a baby maybe. And a few years later, I'll be the guy that comes around and sees the baby sometimes. And like, it just feels like you're like moments in your life away. And when they're, when they're little. Like when you were little. It feels like you have forever. I know, these are cliche things to say, but they are absolutely true. So anyway, my point is they really did let you down by not telling you about when dinner was coming. And these people are bastards, and they really have to try harder.

Emma 42:10
they text me every time that I'm low. Whenever they get a LOW Alert. They they're like

Scott Benner 42:15
the first people to text. How do you handle that? Are you good with that? Yeah, well,

Emma 42:19
normally I I have it under control, because I usually like see loads coming before they happen because I'm like, just constantly checking my blood sugar is kind of crazy. And so I'll just don't really take stock and be like, yeah, treating it or like just changed my sensor. So it's like, fake you know, those things.

Scott Benner 42:38
If I scroll back through my text with Arden for the last week, what you would see is, do you think it's okay, if I park here with photos of where she parked? A soap she wants me to send to her which I've taken care of. And then just a string of like, stop. I know. Leave me alone stop. Oh, the table ripped off my arm the pod there was a no and she just Oh God didn't had this thing that happened to her at school. That it just it's a cascading event that just kept cascading. And it was just she was in class and turned around and never and I really mean this. I'm genuinely saying this. Arden has been using a nominee pod since she was four. She's almost 19 This is the only one I've ever remembered getting knocked off. But she gets she gets knocked off in class. She's sick. I'm gonna be back soon she goes back home ends up not feeling well and being tired and then falling asleep before she replaced her pump. So luckily, she was having luckily she was having like a low before that. So the low Helder for hours that we didn't know like so we're looking at her blood sugar blood sugar is like rock solid. And by the way on Nightscout everything looks okay because she didn't disk she didn't disconnect the pods. The pod was still running. It was in her purse pumping insulin when she needed when it was trying to pump insulin right. But she's asleep the whole time. And then I'm texting her I'm like Arden like something's wrong. Your blood sugar is going up. Bla bla bla, she doesn't wake up right away. She finally gets up. And then I'm like, I don't understand. Like I see a Bolus thing but your blood sugar is not acting like it. And then finally, finally she tells me what happened. So the the pods like in her purse bolusing. And her blood she's asleep doesn't feel well in her blood sugar shooting up. So then I'm like, I'm like Arlen. Listen, you know, we have to test here because you you know, we don't want you to go into decay. You haven't had insulin for hours, like you know, this whole thing. And she's like, I'm not DKA and I'm like, I don't think that's how that works that you just get to decide you're not. And she's like I already put a new pot on. I made a big Bolus. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna start Don't wind down. And I'm like, All right. And she really did handle it. Like she took care. She took care of it. But it's a good example of like a whole bunch of like events like just a confluence of events that led to a moment where, like, if I wasn't watching her blood sugar and trying to wake her up, I don't know how long she would have slept. Maybe she would have woken up and DK is very scary. You should not have children, Emma, it is a thing. It's very upsetting. Very, very upsetting, then you love them. And then stuff like this happens. And it just takes years off your life. Yes, terrible. Yeah, yeah, don't do it.

Emma 45:40
My biggest fear is having a kid because I'm definitely gonna have kids. But my biggest fear is one of them. Getting type one. Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:48
I know that could happen. Yeah, before you were like that can happen, which by the way it could have. But now you're like that. Now you're actually worried about

Emma 45:57
it? Yeah, no, I had a breakdown about that to Europe,

Scott Benner 46:00
in Europe. How'd you get to go to Europe? First of all fancy? What do you do?

Emma 46:04
I've been to Europe a few times. But this particular time was with the choir that I sing in school, we did a European tour for like two weeks, which was awesome.

Scott Benner 46:18
That's amazing. I knew but you had a breakdown in Europe, while you're singing about the fact that you might have a baby one day and it maybe could have diabetes.

Emma 46:29
Not what I was singing, but it was we. So I don't know, school trips are weird in college, because you're all adults. So you can do whatever you want. So we had tons of free time. And at night, especially. And so people would you know, go out obviously. So we were at this bar, and in in London, and I asked for a Diet Coke and rum, obviously. And then I started drinking and then my blood sugar was like, spiking like nobody's business. And I was like, this is not diet. And so that kind of just like set me off. Because it was just annoying. And so I was like crying outside of the bar on the street and on the phone with my boyfriend who was in Miami. And just like just having a breakdown.

Scott Benner 47:22
Because because the bartender gave you regular soda.

Emma 47:25
Yeah, yeah. Which like what is that about?

Scott Benner 47:28
This lead to? What about the part where you're upset about the kid? Maybe the future?

Emma 47:33
It just whatever. I like have these breakdowns? Like once a month, it just kind of like spirals you know? Okay.

Scott Benner 47:40
Have you tried, I just recorded an episode, it's coming out this week. About the 54321 method for like counting. It's Erica did a lot of the talking during this episode. So I want to make sure that I'm gonna get it right. So

Emma 47:58
like five things you see, and then like four things you can touch and like,

Scott Benner 48:03
yes, grounding techniques. Have you ever tried that? Yeah. No.

Emma 48:09
I kind of I don't know. I think I think the breakdowns are like necessary. You know what? something

Scott Benner 48:17
worse? So you kind of want to have the outlet. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I think first when you break down. You seem so nice. Do you do curse though, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love cursing. And I love doing it when I'm upset too. Yeah. It really is the best. Alright. So you do pretty well, taking care of yourself. Obviously, your agencies are sound like they're great. And you're doing well. Do you struggle with anything? Like

Emma 48:49
the diabetes? Why? Yeah. Well, okay, so my, I've had type one for a year. And since I was diagnosed about like, like six months after I was diagnosed, I got sick for the first time, which was horrible. By the way, I would not recommend because it's so much harder than when you don't have to have one. Yeah, you're talking

Scott Benner 49:14
about real people sick, like you got the flu or something like that.

Emma 49:17
It was just the cold but it was horrible. It was like the worst ever. I felt like I was dying because I was feeling horrible. Because I was sick. But then my blood sugar's were, like high all the time, because my resistance was way up. So that would just make me feel worse. But after that, my insulin needs in general were like a lot higher. And so I had to kind of like figure out my new ratios. And then I was on a pump at that point. So it was, like, easy, just like, you know, do the math and put it in the poem. But when with with those bigger boluses because I was using so much more insulin Sometimes, like my pump couldn't handle it and like absorption wise, like it wasn't really working. So like my pump would leak, and then I would have to like, change it early. And then I didn't know how much insulin I really got, because it leaked. And I was doing a lot of like, Phantom carbs after my meals, like, just because I was high and I wanted to get it down, I would say I was eating like 20 carbs. And then even though I wasn't in my endo has gotten one thing about that, because she didn't like to do that. But, um, I don't know, we're finding ways to, to stop doing that. So Gotcha. That's been that's been a challenge. Like just the insulin needs always going up. Because we at my last appointment, we just did my C peptides, which is a measure of, of your, like, the functionality of your pancreas. And mine is like at point eight, which is just like in the frame of normal, like, very low, but, but in the normal range. And so mindful needs are only going to go up from here.

Scott Benner 51:05
Whoa, you are having like a lot of experience. Like, like a latent, like a slow onset of your actual, like, full need for insulin. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. So you're adjusting, having to adjust more and more and more as time goes on. pretty consistently, too, right? Yeah, like a slow drift away.

Emma 51:30
Yeah. And so I've just started, because my doctor after all this stuff, prescribed me ozempic, which is for type two, but it makes you more sensitive to insulin. And so I've been on that for like a week and it's like cut my insulin needs and like half

Scott Benner 51:49
crazy use on I was Empik for a year. Will you come back on and talk about it with me? Oh, yeah, for sure. You I'm on week govi. It's the same Joe. Oh, cool. It was empty. Can we go v are the same molecule. They get different names. So they can be. They can be used for different things. So I'm prescribed we go V for weight loss. You would be prescribed ozempic for type two diabetes, weight loss. How are you getting it for type one? What's your diagnosis? That leads to you getting it?

Emma 52:25
I guess

Scott Benner 52:26
like high insulin resistance? Yeah. And your insurance company paid for it? Yeah. Oh, well, well, well, that's good news. Are you on your own insurance but that school? No, it's my dad. I was gonna say are you on? Like somebody who's had like, been making money for 35 years insurance? Yeah, those insurances are usually better. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. How you can stay on your dad's insurance for a few more years. So you're 26 Yeah. Scott's insurance? Yeah. I don't love my name, by the way.

Emma 53:03
Well, my dad's name. That's first name is actually Christopher. And his middle name is Scott. So if you chose Scott,

Scott Benner 53:09
really? Yeah, choose Scott or Christopher along. I don't know. I don't use my name. Like my name doesn't get used often. Like nobody calls me Scott. Well, they call you nothing. Do people call you Emma? Like, is that how people get your attention?

Emma 53:28
Yeah. Or Miss gladden?

Scott Benner 53:31
Do you want your last name in there? Or should I take that up? Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Yeah, I am. I don't nobody says my name. My mom once in a while, maybe. But yeah, don't I think dad probably called me stupid the other day. I don't think she was even kidding. It was very hurtful. I said you think I'm stupid? She goes sometimes. It's like, oh, God, really ruin my afternoon? Yeah. Yeah. Tell me a little bit. I mean, I'm remiss if I don't ask, right. Like you've hinted at it two or three times now. You like the podcast? I do. What do you what do you get from it?

Emma 54:15
Oh, gosh, I think just everything I've learned about diabetes has has been from the podcast as many like journals and books and things that I read when I was first diagnosed, like this was the most helpful information because it was so accessible and like I could just listen to it in the car or, or when I'm walking you know, and, and I don't know, I think that what you do is so, so valuable because it just helps so many people and and like I can't count how many people I've like recommended the podcast to whether they're like people with type one or like, family members that I've sent episodes to I just I think that it's it's so valuable. All right, you do.

Scott Benner 55:00
So I'm happy, very, very happy that you that you enjoy it and it's doing something for you. That's how it goes, like you just described how a podcast gets bigger. Yeah, cuz it really doesn't move without the listeners sharing it with other people. And then eventually it would die if they didn't do that. So it's very cool that you that it means enough to you and, and is valuable enough to the chair with somebody else. I appreciate that very much. So this is a management thing for you like you got management ideas from the podcast. Yeah,

Emma 55:33
well, and after dark episodes do or just listen to for fun, like the one about a stripper and like all like the ones about like, drug users and things like that. I just think those are so interesting. Just another, another take on this disease and how it affects, you know, people Yeah, I

Scott Benner 55:53
love. I love talking to people, and it doesn't matter what their story is really, like, I really enjoy hearing it. I interviewed a nine year old girl the other day. And I had such a good time it Wait, wait, do you like she sarcasm, she was too young for sarcasm. So like I was, I don't know, you're just gonna have to listen to it. It's, I It's such a fun time talking to her. But I just love hearing from people. And yeah, you know, their perspectives, their ideas, like even talking to you and seeing, you know, like, you're an interesting mix of people, right? Like, you're a serious person, you're thoughtful, you're smart, you took a lot of care to learn about your own health. And at the same time, you were like, I need to know how to drink. And like it's just, that's it's a, it's a good insight into the people are complex, and nothing's as simple as it seems even even with the the, the story you told about your parents, like is very honest. And I think it'll help people to understand that, you know, everybody's not going to just understand their diabetes right away. And it's, it's going to take some communication and work to build that, you know, like, we were able to build it with your boyfriend, because he's there. And, you know, if your parents were there, you'd build something with them, too. But it wouldn't be the same as what you have with your boyfriend. And everybody can kind of have a slightly different piece of this and bring something to the support network that you have. So very cool. That's wonderful. Is there things we haven't talked about yet that we should have? I want to I don't want to miss anything.

Emma 57:31
I don't know. I mean, I travel a lot. So I could, yeah, talk a little bit about that. But did you

Scott Benner 57:39
have to travel once when you were newly diagnosed? Or did you have time to pull it together before you started?

Emma 57:44
My first I took a trip to California in March after I was diagnosed, so about a month after I was diagnosed. And that was hard because I was still figuring things out. And I was also MDI, which is just less convenient than having a pump to Yeah, I also like I was staying at my at my roommates house with her family. And I actually left my insulin in the fridge, which was an issue. I've done that twice now, which is not great.

Scott Benner 58:16
abated your insulin at someone's home. Yeah,

Emma 58:19
it was an Airbnb. Well, no. So my roommates mom brought it to Miami the next time that she came down, which was great. But the other time I left it, it was an Airbnb, and I didn't get it back, which was

Scott Benner 58:33
great. They sold it on the black market.

Emma 58:35
I don't know, because it was it was at a hotel. But it was also an Airbnb. So the people that they had come clean wasn't through the hotel. So I like tried to call the hotel and they were like, Oh, we don't. That's not our cleaning. So like we don't know. And then I couldn't really contact the host anymore because of other things. And and

Scott Benner 58:56
Yeah, somebody wouldn't just walk upstairs and look for you. I guess not. People suck. Why would they not do that? Did you tell them like it's important? It's expensive. It's etc? Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah, we know we already sold it on eBay.

Emma 59:12
Right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 59:14
I once had a conversation with somebody about a lost the iPad. And they're like, yeah, like, we don't know what I'm like, you know, I can track the iPad. It's exactly where you are. Really? Yeah. They're like, No, let me know it is. Right there in the building. You're in you Sure. You don't have it now? Then. All of a sudden, I couldn't track it anymore. I was like, Oh, so you shut it off. No, my great. I said, Well, I hope you choke on the money that you get for selling my iPads. Go for yourself. But yeah, I got off the phone. But it Yeah, I don't know. Hopefully it wasn't that for you. But I'm, I'm cynical. I'm assuming. I'm assuming somebody saw it was like, Oh, my grandmother uses insulin to change, you know? Yeah. Anyway,

Emma 59:57
I mean, it's so expensive nowadays, but yeah, It's also just with traveling, keeping it at the right temperature and everything is really hard. And yeah. So

Scott Benner 1:00:07
how do you do that? How did you figure out how to do it?

Emma 1:00:09
Well, I keep it in a water bottle now. But when I went on this, this European tour with my choir, there was almost an incident because we had had flown to London, I think. And we got to the, to the airport. And then we had a bus that was there with this, like, British bus driver who was hilarious, but he like wanted nothing like did not want us to touch the bags going into the like, underneath the bus, because it was like Tetris, and he was like the best at it. So he did all the bags, and I was like stressing me out that he was yelling at people helping. So I just kind of sort of like, left my bags there and then went up to the bus. And then like, 30 minutes after we were on the bus, I realized that my insulin was in my carry on that was underneath the bus. That was probably not cool down there. Yeah. And I was like, oh my god, we have like, a week left of this trip and am I just gonna have spoiled insulin. So I freaked out to not break down, which was fortunate. But I like told the bus driver and we were like, on the way to Westminster Abbey. And he was like, okay, when we get there, we're like, open up underneath the bus and, and I take medications to them to be cold. And I totally understand. And he was really sweet about it. And then he there was like this little cooler compartment like on the bus that was for like waters that he would sell us and he was like, you can keep your insulin in here every day from now on. Like, don't worry about it, which was really kind I don't know, I just I find that with diabetes. Like you just you just find people who care everywhere. Which is wonderful. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:01:51
I will tell you that we travel with Arden's insulin vials in a sort of like a, I don't know, like one of those stainless steel cups that keeps things cold for like a month. And yeah, you know, I put a little bit of ice in the bottom. And then usually the vials, we actually put the vials in like a plastic bag to keep them dry. And usually put like a little bit of a paper towel around them just to keep them like cushioned a little. And then they go the bag and everything goes in and then more ice on top. And then I find that can stay cold for days like that. I

Emma 1:02:27
think you've mentioned that before. And that's what I do now because I do do that. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:02:31
good, good, good. Plus, it's a little shock resistant. And it's small enough that if you can, like even when you've got a ton of bags, you can either put it somewhere, you know if it's or you can carry it with you, and you don't lose it. It's heavy enough. You know you have it with you. You don't I mean, like you don't lose track of it. Like there's a lot of good stuff. We're actually thinking of going on a impromptu trip pretty soon to a warm weather place.

Emma 1:02:55
So I think you're not going to tell me where is it Miami? No,

Scott Benner 1:02:59
but we'll probably fly over Miami getting to it. Oh, yeah, just my a couple of times in our life, we vacation in St. John, in the Virgin Islands. When my kids were little Arden's coming home from college. All of her friends are actually home from college. And they're overlapping exactly at the same time. And Kelly's like maybe, maybe all the girls would want to go like we could kind of split the cost a little bit and make it doable. So we're thinking, we're looking into that this week, maybe we might end up doing that. But yeah, it would be lovely actually, to see them all. Because they're older now. And it's weird. Like one of them came over last night when they got home from college to say hi, and just look at and you're like, God, you're like 19 Now it's ridiculous. You know, so So you're doing well traveling, counting on other people. Little bit. Little kindness, little thoughtfulness. I was interested that you. You got pressured when the stuff was going in the bus?

Emma 1:04:01
Yeah, I just get anxious about things like that. And so I forget things that I need. I think about other people too much. I'm like, what do you need? I need you feel okay, what's happening right now. So I use forget about myself,

Scott Benner 1:04:15
I would have been like, I don't care what you're saying my insolence in here. You're not touching that. But. But that's, that's okay, though. I mean, you worked it out. Right. And you did stand up like, once you once you had your wits about you were like, I have to do something about this. Yeah, you handle that. Well. Do you think you're gonna get married like soon or do you think you'll get married later?

Emma 1:04:34
Within the next like, three to five years, probably. I've been dating my boyfriend for three and a half years. And we're both music educators. So we're on like, the same path in life and, and I just I can't imagine doing life with anyone else. So it'll happen eventually. I just don't know.

Scott Benner 1:04:53
That's very nice. Good for you. Yeah, not too soon. Not too late. Right in the middle. Here. I like it. I got married too soon.

Emma 1:05:02
I know you're married when you were really young, my wife would say the same thing.

Scott Benner 1:05:07
She might have been saying it. While she was calling me stupid the other day. I don't know if it's worked out or not. I've only been married for 26 years, it could all still fall apart. No, maybe? Who knows? I'm just saying there's no way to know. You know, like I said to that nine year old girl when I was interviewing her the other day, I asked her, she was from Canada. So I did all my Canadian humor on one little kid who didn't understand that I was kidding. It's fantastic. You know, and I'm just like, I'm like, how do you get there? And she's like, in a car. I'm like, there are cars in Canada and shoes. Yes. And I'm like, Are there really are and it's because yesterday, I didn't think you had cars. And she goes, yeah, there's cars everywhere. I'm like, I said, you know, for sure there's cars in America. And she goes, Yeah, I'm like, Have you ever been here? She goes, No. And I said, Well, how do you know for sure there are cars here? And she goes, there are? And I said, Are you in a room right now? And she goes, yes. I said, is the door closed? And she goes, yes. I said, Look at the door. She looks at the door, and I go, is there a clown standing on the other side of that door? She goes, No. And I went, are you sure? No. And I'm like, Are you sure there are cars in America?

Emma 1:06:22
That's so funny. I love messing with kids. It's my favorite thing. That's why I love working with kids so much that there's so fun to mess with.

Scott Benner 1:06:28
I thought she needed a critical thinking exercise. I was like, I told him like, there's probably not a cloud on the other side of the door. But you don't know for certain. And so she was like, Yeah, I guess not. I was like, right on. So are there cars in America? And she goes, I think so. But I'm not sure. And I'm like, good for you. Excellent. Now we're learning how to fish. And I was amusing myself, because, as you may imagine, there's not a ton to talk to a nine year old about.

Emma 1:06:57
Right? Yeah. Well, yeah. When my kids, my kids would ask them, like, how old are you? I'm like, Yeah, I'm 16 or four. They're like, No, you're not like, Well, how do you know? Maybe I am? Like, I'm like, Yeah, I'm six foot four. And they're like, Okay, I don't really know

Scott Benner 1:07:18
what to do with it. They're just young enough to like, not know what to do and not just call you on it, like a couple years older, and they'll be like, hey, that lady's crazy. Just so everyone knows, like, stay away from her. told me about being a vegan. I know the wait, that was Scott's teacher. Oh, by the way, I don't care if you want to be a vegan. Just a weird way to go about trying to indoctrinate a nine year old. You don't

Emma 1:07:39
know. I agree. Like, whatever.

Scott Benner 1:07:40
Yeah, it's okay. But you could draw the skull, which was very helpful in the class.

Emma 1:07:47
That was different than other reasons for it. At least.

Scott Benner 1:07:50
I'm hoping she also was using it for that reason, and just whatever she is that it's amazing. Like, that woman's probably not with us anymore. Like I was nine and she was 40. So, I mean, that was 40. I mean, maybe she is but it's so weird. I can picture in my head. She's like a pretty like a pretty lady that didn't shave her armpits. That's how that's how I remember her and a lot of flowing dresses and moccasins and things like that. She was lovely. She really was. Oh, God. I hope she's not that. Time goes by so fast. You have no idea. What do we what are we done? Are we good? We're done. You feel good about this. You're like, No, we didn't get any of the things. How can I do for you is what I'm asking.

Emma 1:08:40
No, we're doing great. I just want to keep talking because this is fun. But oh,

Scott Benner 1:08:43
we can keep talking. What do you want to keep? It's like it's it's over an

Emma 1:08:47
hour and I know that an hour is about so I don't want to be if no one's gonna listen to a two hour long episode. Sometimes

Scott Benner 1:08:53
they know. But yeah, you don't want to be a sinner. You don't know the word. Yeah. Do you know that we're actually don't know. Okay. I think it's the dish.

Emma 1:09:03
Dish, okay. But you don't know what it means.

Scott Benner 1:09:06
I mean, I can use it in a sentence. Like a beggar or a scrounger. A layabout. You don't want to you don't want to you don't want to like try to get more out of this than Is there a beggars basically? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, a sponger a beggar, Schnur s ch, n o r r. Er. Can I tell you a story? Since you want to talk more? Yeah, no, yeah, go for it. two weekends ago, I spoke in a private event. And this private event was completely for Orthodox Jews, adult couples, hey, you know, one side of the couple had type one on the other side was the spouse and they were there to learn about diabetes stuff. This was like a two and a half day event. So I am immediately excited because I'm going to be able to test my Yiddish like, right, which I am assume is bad. And people will be able to, like, you know, help me with my pronunciation of my understanding and stuff like that. I had a couple of a couple of times where it actually worked out for me pretty well. At one point, I was giving a talk to like 400 people, if you can imagine. And somebody said, thank you. I said, No, no, it's my pleasure. Can I ask you to do something for me? And they're like, yes. And I said, How's my pronunciation on this? And they looked at me really quizzically, and I went hockey, me and China, UK. Oh, so much laughter because people like how do you know that? They helped me apparently, my pronunciation pretty good. And then they helped me understand the saying, which I use as like, like, I would say, like, like, If Emma like, if I asked you some questions, you wouldn't answer them. I might say moi. You hotkey, me and China, UK. And I'm like, but that's how I would say it. And they were like, I think like, it means like, banging on a teapot. And, but it means the bat, like bothering somebody, like, why are you bothering me? Why are you banging on this teapot? And I was like, okay, so they told me I was using that. Well, I was pretty excited. And yeah, it's, uh, meaning chopping or banging on the tea pot, realizing it will make lots of noise and then break. I don't know. So why would you? Why are you hockey me in China? I don't know why it's like use like that. So then, we had these great exercises at meals, where they would bring myself and another person that was speaking there. They bring us the dish that everybody was about the they'd say, Hey, tell us how many carbs you think we're isn't this, which was really cool. Because it was it was Chavez. And a lot of the food was just very carb heavy. And I don't even know how you'd be able to like, tell like it was just it was crazy. So they bring this one thing, and I'm up on a riser. So I'm in front of like, 200 people. It was kind of weird. They had us up on a table, like I was like, we were at a wedding, me and the other guy, like felt like we were getting married. And they put the dish up in front. And I stood up. And I kind of made a show of it a little bit like made some faces and covered my mouth like oh my gosh, and stuff like that. And I'm looking at I don't know what I'm looking at. So I take a fork, and I spear this thing. And I hold it up. And there's laughter I'm like, what, what is this? What is this? And everybody's like, it's a kiss guts a kiss gun, like I'm hearing that from all over the room. And they're laughing because I don't know what it is and everything. I'm poking at it with my other finger while tying from the fork. And I said I don't understand. And this woman comes up you know, that kind of helps leave the room and she goes, what is it? You don't understand she grabs the microphone. She says he doesn't understand. I'm like, I don't understand if this is a Kiska. Then where does the saying eating my kiss goes out come from. And that led to like, oh my god, so much. Laughter people were having a great time. So what I learned was a Kiska, I think is like something like inside of like an animal like in its stomach or something or it's your kiss goes. And so if you're like, breaking someone's balls, like why are you eating? Why are you digging it my insides? Why are you eating my kiss goes out. And so I got to do all that. Why was that the thing and I have to tell you. Such a good time. Yeah, I got to be. Alright, here's my last thing about this. I got to be the shot. I got to be a shabbos goy. Do you know what that means? No. What is that? Okay. So going means non Jew. Okay. And Shabbos is you know, the time from sundown Friday, sundown Saturday, where Orthodox people don't use electricity. So they're not allowed to use any like electric. Now there this, this group had kind of like a, I don't know, a pass from the rabbi to use their insulin pumps and their Dexcom and stuff like that. But at the end of the the first night, I was getting on the elevator, which by the way, was a private elevator for me because no one else in the whole setting could use the elevator. Never. Oh my god, I was terrific. I never waited for an elevator for 24 hours, zip zip up, down. But I'm standing waiting for the elevator. There's a woman standing near me but she's waiting to go up the stairs. And she appears to be waiting for another person says this guy comes up and they start speaking to each other in Hebrew. And they clearly are talking about me. So I'm like, sort of sitting there going like what's going on? And then I and then she goes to him in English. He goes he doesn't know what that is. And I was like, what what do I not know? What is this? Like, where's this going? And then I heard him say like, kind of in broken English and kind of in Hebrew Chava school. And I went way, way, way way Wait, and they're like, Yeah, I'm like, I know what that is. I was like, I would totally do that. Like any Like, Oh, good, good, good. Like meet me in front of room. You know, he's like you're on the sixth floor, right? I was like I am he goes, you can meet me in front of my room. He gave me the number. So obviously, am I beat him to the room because I had the elevator and he had to run up six flights of stairs, but, and not insensible shoes either. And so and so I'm waiting at his door, because do you know why he wants me? Why to turn off his lights for him? Oh, right, because it's midnight. And so yeah, he stops me. He goes, let me make he says something about let me make sure my wife is decent or something like that. And then he goes in, she's in bed. And he's like, come in. So the room is like glowing because there's lights on, right. And she's in bed with a blanket pulled over her head, I'm assuming trying to sleep with this 100 watt bulb like glaring at her. And he kind of can't tell me. He's not allowed to tell me what he wants. So I just kind of walked in the room. And I'm like, reaching out for the Switch, like this one. And I got the little vibe, and I clicked it off. And the voice from the bed goes, Oh, thank you so much. And I was like, Oh, you're very welcome. And so I get the walk out again. But there's a light on in the bathroom. And I gesture to that one. And he gives me the like, no sign. I'm like, Oh, he's probably going to close the door. So we can still have the light overnight. If he needs it. was very, it was very interesting. I learned a lot. That's so interesting. Yeah. But here's my big takeaway, because they asked me on my last day, like, you know, what did you What did you? What did you take from this? What would you like us to take from this? I told them what I wanted them to take from it about timing and insulin and stuff like that. And I said, what I'm going to take from it is that when I got here, I mean, there's just no doubt, like your religion is much different than anything I've ever seen. They of course, have a very specific way of dressing and everything, which when you first get there, it feels like you're at another time almost. It's weird. But once I got to know them and speak with them, what I can tell you is that they were literally no different than anybody else I'd ever met my life. Wow. Yeah, it was very, it was just a great experience to have that because if somebody was going to be different based on how they look, this would have been the spot. But I got into small groups with people. They were lovely, funny, thoughtful. Not nothing. Nothing different than anybody else I've ever met my whole life. So no, it was it was really interesting. Yeah, see, and by you saying you want to stay on for a little longer. I got to tell the story. I was never going to tell on the podcast. So. Yeah, I hope to do more speaking. I haven't done a bunch since COVID. And it was nice. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, really cool to see to. It was really excellent. Again, to impact people like in real time. And to watch them have like, I know you guys are listening and having reactions, but I don't get to be like, I don't get to be on the other side of it. You know, because I'm pre recorded. But it was nice to see people come up to me with their CGM, and say like, Oh, I did the thing you talked about in the thing and look at how flat my line is, or Yeah, like the rabbi came up to me afterwards, and told me that his blood sugar was 72 after Shabbos dinner, and that he's like, it's never been that steady or low. And it's like, that's great. That's what you do. He goes, I did what you said. I was like, Oh, cool. So I was like, Oh, that's nice. Like, I don't get feedback like that often. So yeah,

Emma 1:18:32
no, that's great. And I think that's also why the Facebook group is so nice, too, because we get to, like, interact with each other and interact with you in some cases, too. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:18:41
No, I appreciate very much that because that is the only time. That's the only feedback I get usually. Yeah, yeah. Okay, emails are overwhelmingly, generally positive, although someone yelled at me the other day, and it was actually really upsetting Emma?

Emma 1:19:01
Like, why? Why would they do that? Like, just keep it to yourself when

Scott Benner 1:19:05
they said I was going to kill people with my reckless ideas about diabetes. I guess it's been on for nine years. I was like, I don't know if it's reckless as they've been about 27,000 doctors on here saying this is what they tell people. So like, alright, but it was, um, somebody was mad. You know, I don't know what it was about. They didn't give a lot of context in their letter. And I read it, and I put it in my brain as something somebody thought and then I deleted it. So I'm okay now. But you know what, like, what was I going to do? respond back and go hi, I don't know if you know how the world works. But at the beginning, I say nothing you here on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice. They said, stop pretending to be a doctor. Like I'm pretending to be a doctor. I call myself an idiot six times a week. I tell people don't listen to me. Don't make me come out and say what do I say? My wife doesn't listen to me. You shouldn't Neither, it's very clear that I'm not a trusted source. Anyway, it made me sad for a minute, but then I, you know, I let it go, you

Emma 1:20:13
know, and compared with the amount of people that you help to, like, the you shouldn't let just one person being angry, you know? No,

Scott Benner 1:20:22
I didn't, but it's hard not to, like I could if I could write you an email, Emma, that has nothing to do with your reality. And still, if you read it, you'd be like, Oh, God, that hurts. For sure, ya know, like, especially when you're trying to help. And you're seeing overwhelmingly how much it's helping people. And then the, my first thought was, oh, gosh, did they misunderstand? Like, did they hear something and misunderstand something? Or did they may be like, maybe this is just a low carb person who's like, you know, you tell people how to use insulin. You know, that's not good for them. Like, I don't know what they really meant by it. You know what I mean? But it's, you know, it wasn't fun, but I didn't hang on to it very long. Just, I looked at it. And I was like, alright, well, that's somebody's opinion. And then I considered responding. And I thought, I don't know. Like, where's that gonna go? So? Yeah, I just kind of got rid of it. But anyway, you're doing well, that makes me happy. I'm

Emma 1:21:18
in the fives now main thing, which is good. Get

Unknown Speaker 1:21:21
out of here. Seriously? Yeah, that's

Emma 1:21:23
excellent. I went, Yeah, my, like, six months after diagnosis, I was 5.1. Which was great. And then after that, like I've started, like, learning how to eat food that I actually want to eat, you know, like fun food. And so it's, it's went up to like, 5.3. And I think now it's at 5.5, which I'm okay with, because I'm eating what I want. It's still pretty good. So, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:21:50
it's amazing. I mean, not just amazing, but also a lot of Cuban food mixed in and you're doing. what's your what's the basis of Cuban eating? Like, is

Emma 1:22:00
it raw rice and beans, rice and beans? A lot of meat.

Scott Benner 1:22:04
Pork? That kind of stuff?

Emma 1:22:05
Yeah. Sounds good. Plantains, too. Has he?

Scott Benner 1:22:10
Your boyfriend? Is he born here? Was he born in Cuba?

Emma 1:22:14
He's born here. But his both his parents are

Scott Benner 1:22:17
from Cuba. But everyone's here now.

Emma 1:22:20
For pretty much yeah,

Scott Benner 1:22:21
get to go back or does it not work that way? His mom

Emma 1:22:25
has gone back few times. But his dad has it because, you know,

Scott Benner 1:22:32
anger harder? Yeah. That's interesting. Well, is your your boyfriend being just like, like, he's first generation. But is he like incredibly American? Or is he like, did He mean or does he have Is he a blend?

Emma 1:22:47
He's He's very American. Yeah. And, like, to the point even that, like in Cuban culture, even in Miami, because Miami is basically like Northern Cuba. It's it's, it's more like Latin American minute is America. And there's a lot of like a cheese Mo and like, just like kind of toxic masculinity. And he's not that way at all. Which is awesome.

Scott Benner 1:23:13
Yeah, I wouldn't imagine you be with him if he was like, a jerk. Right? Oh, my God. And I agree with you about the Facebook group. I want to say it's one of the things I don't I can't believe this is how my life has gone. But I'm most proud of a few things. And one of those is that Facebook group and how it helps people. Yeah,

Emma 1:23:35
yeah, for sure. And there are people in there that don't even listen to the podcast, which I think is kind of wild.

Scott Benner 1:23:40
I do too. And it's upsetting by the way, to me, I'm personally making this podcast, but it's, it's good. Because what I've learned to imagine is that they were never going to do it like some people have. Some people's like vibe is like you're sure like I'm gonna dive in, I'm gonna find things out like that kind of thing. And some people are just like, please just tell me the answer. I don't want to know more than this. And I'm happy for those people to still have direction. I mean, I'd love for them to listen to the podcast, there's no doubt if everyone in that Facebook group, if everyone in that Facebook group subscribed to this podcast today. I mean, there's so many people in there it would this would be one of the biggest podcasts in the world if that happened. And it just it's not because some people just that's not the way they get their information, I guess, to shame because then they they they're never going to hear about the sharpest boy, do you think I could make that the title of the episode?

Emma 1:24:38
About you? Sure.

Scott Benner 1:24:39
I mean, it would like it really gets away from you, which I don't appreciate it. But

Emma 1:24:43
then they'll listen to the whole thing because it happens after an hour or so they'll gonna listen be like, Why is the sharpest coordinate and remember, listen, go with

Scott Benner 1:24:50
me. You're in my head. Where are they will or they'll be like, I don't wanna hear about that. Like, I don't know, I like diabetes breakdown. I do think that's a good one because we broke down by PDS today while we were talking. Oh, true, and you had a number of breakdowns while you were breaking out you were learning about diabetes over the last year.

Emma 1:25:06
All the time. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:25:08
Let me ask you a couple of like brief questions about ozempic. And then I am going to, I'm going to reiterate to you that if you stay on it for a good long time, I absolutely want you to come back and talk about okay, okay, cool. So, you started at how long? Have you been doing it?

Emma 1:25:24
Just a week, not even a week I first injection was last Tuesday,

Scott Benner 1:25:28
snap, and it's helping you already? Yeah.

Emma 1:25:31
Well, okay. So wait, wait, here's the thing is that I'm also on my period, which also, you know, messes everything up. So I don't know how much is, is my menstrual cycle and how much is ozempic? But like, I've been using, like half as much insulin.

Scott Benner 1:25:47
So do you usually use less insulin during your period?

Emma 1:25:52
Like, for the first few days before my period, I'm like, super sensitive. And then like, when my period starts, I get super resistant.

Scott Benner 1:26:02
Do you ever sing the song? Oh, ozempic. No, no, I will know. Yeah. Awesome. What a great jingle. Like, whoever wrote that. It's like a genius. Okay, so have you do you have weight to lose?

Emma 1:26:20
Oh, yeah. I mean, I've I've gained a little bit of weight this semester, because I wasn't like walking to win from school. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:26:28
Did you lose weight the first week? I mean, during your period would probably be difficult. But

Emma 1:26:32
I haven't

Scott Benner 1:26:34
weighed myself. I don't know. You gotta weigh yourself. That's the whole up. Sorry. I'll do that. Let me down. I'm like, so yeah, start weighing yourself like weekly if you want to, I do it every day on the weego V. I have lost 15 pounds so far. And hold on. I keep my used. I keep my use pens here so I can keep track. So I have. Okay, so I've done four injections at point two, five milligrams so far. And three injections at point five, which I guess means I've been doing this for seven weeks. And tomorrow is my fourth injection of point five. And then the next week I go up to one. And I've lost like 15 pounds so far. Yeah, so and I haven't done. I haven't done much. I mean, I'm eating more salads and roughage in general vegetables. My wife started gardening. So we have a lot of fresh like salad like lettuce and stuff, different different kinds of lettuce. And I get you just can't eat as much. Are you finding that you can't eat as much or has it not hit you like that yet? All right.

Emma 1:27:50
No, my app. My appetite is like, kind of non existent to Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:27:54
it's sometimes like, like, I'm in trouble now. Because I'm a little woozy right now, because I haven't eaten yet today. So I got up. Yeah, I got up and I was like, Oh, I'm gonna eat now. And then I didn't have a chance. And then I was like, Oh, I gotta have I have to get something done for the podcast, like some back end stuff. That's boring. And, you know, if you always subscribe, I can hire somebody to do and but anyway, so I'm doing like, clerical stuff, right? Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, I should eat now that I'm like, I don't want to eat right before I like record. So I'll wait. And then we went a half an hour longer than I expected it and I'm not hungry. Like, yeah, my stomach isn't telling me when I'm hungry. My brain is not telling me I'm hungry. I only know I'm hungry because I'm getting drifty in my head. And that's the only way I can tell that I haven't eaten. So what I will tell you is eat on a schedule. Because you're not going to think to eat if it's working on you. Right? Yeah, just. Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah,

Emma 1:28:54
it's crazy.

Scott Benner 1:28:56
Yeah. Did you get any, like, uncomfortableness in your stomach? Or, God, I'm not gonna lie about it. It's only been a week. I'm not going to ask you if your stool has changed, because that's just a weird way to talk to people. I'd almost almost just rather ask you if you're constipated or have diarrhea, but, but haven't had problem with any of that. Yeah,

Emma 1:29:16
no, myosin. It's been fine. My so I've been getting my period though. So like, I've had some like cramps in my abdomen. Like I don't know if it's like the medication or my period is the thing. Well,

Scott Benner 1:29:31
I can tell you that on Saturday when I woke up at the the event I was speaking at to learn that that a very common thing for them to eat on Saturday morning is cheesecake for breakfast, and I was like, these are my people for short cheese. And then I went over and they were kind of these ornate cheese cakes. They were very like, like they had chocolate on them and other stuff. It wasn't just like, cheesecake. You know what I mean? And So I'm like, I don't think I can eat this because of the weak Ovi, but I don't want to insult them and I sink. So I took a piece, and I took a spoonful of cheesecake and it sat like a rock in my stomach. That was like so upsetting. Like, I was like, Oh, I had like reflux from it and everything. I'm like, Alright, cheesecake. Can't do that, like mental note. But I had, like the over fullness feeling hit me really hard in the first three days of my first injection, but that's gone away since then, like I can eat through it if I need to. Like if I don't know what that even means. I guess if I wanted to overeat I could. I don't know how much I haven't pushed it. But yesterday I made a wrap, like two eggs. Two eggs, a few ounces of chicken. I put the cook them together with some mushrooms. I threw them in a wrap. I couldn't even finish them. I couldn't finish the wrap. Yeah, I was like, Oh, yeah. So you're having all those experiences already in just a week?

Emma 1:30:57
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Like I get full so fast. No appetite. Yeah, that's those are the biggest changes. I haven't. There's not much else. Like my doctor said I might there might be like nausea and like vomiting and like things like that. And I haven't.

Scott Benner 1:31:14
And so and your insulin needs went down already. So I can't wait to see how long because I think this is going to be why am I asking about this? I think this is going to be a very popular treatment for type two and type one diabetes. Like yeah, moving forward in the future, like I foresee a time where people are doing this with a lot of regularity. It just, it's crazy how well it works. Well, honestly, I'm a pound away from being the lowest weight I've been since 2019. I think. Yeah. And just for not like for like click click, and that's kind of the end of it. So anyway, you if you stay on it, please let me know. Okay, even if you stay on it for like six months, like reach back out and say, Hey, I'm still on this. And then we'll start making plans for you to come back. Okay. Okay. Emma, thank you so much. You were really great.

Emma 1:32:13
Thank you often.

Scott Benner 1:32:14
That's my pleasure. Hold on one second for me.

How about Emma, thank you so much, Emma for coming on the show and sharing your story with us. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast spell that GVOKEGLUC AG o n.com. Forward slash juicebox.

Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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#1089 Freeze Dried Skittles

Robin has type 1 diabetes, Hashimoto’s and a bit of land.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android  -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1089 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's podcast I'll be speaking with Robin she's 61 years old, and has had type one diabetes for just over two years. And I cannot wait for you to find out why this episode title is freeze dried Skittles. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year's supply of vitamin D. Drink ag one.com/juice box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout that's juice box at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that it really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode

A huge thanks to a longtime sponsor touched by type one, please check them out on Facebook, Instagram, and at touched by type one.org. If you're looking to support an organization that's supporting people with type one diabetes, check out touched by type one. Having an easy to use and accurate blood glucose meter is just one click away. Contour next one.com/juicebox That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter.

Robin 2:03
Hi, Scott. My name is Robin and here we go. Nice

Scott Benner 2:08
Robin how? Let's see how old are you?

Robin 2:11
61.

Scott Benner 2:13
And how long have you had type one?

Robin 2:16
A little over two years?

Scott Benner 2:17
Wow. You were diagnosed when you were like 5859? Yep. 59. Wow. And you're 61 Now other autoimmune in your family. Where do you have any other autoimmune? Yes,

Robin 2:30
I was digging through my charts. You know, my online where you can go in and look. And I've had it doesn't say how she motos it doesn't say it says actually in my in my chart, autoimmune hypothyroidism. And I've had that since I was 27. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:49
have you been taking Synthroid the entire time? I have. Do you have any problems at all? With medications? needing to be adjusted symptoms returning anything like that through your life? Yeah,

Robin 3:03
every so often and I can tell when my thyroid is is acting up or my medicine is off and I just go get a you know bloodwork and we adjust my meds.

Scott Benner 3:12
What sticks out to you is something that says to you, oh, something's wrong with my thyroid medication.

Robin 3:17
I get it. I'm tired all the time. Because that's not me. If I'm tired all the time, then I know that that something is off.

Scott Benner 3:24
Okay. How many times through your life? Do you think that happened? Oh, probably for maybe four or five. Have you had children? One one was ever or was it around the pregnancy at all?

Robin 3:36
Yep, I was 27 when I had him. Oh my goodness. That

Scott Benner 3:40
kid gave you Hashimotos okay, we figured that out now. We just was it? Was the Hashimotos diagnosed after the birth? Yes. That's what happened to Kelly. Really? Yeah. She made Arden? Well, I think yeah, I think it was, I think it might have been Arden birth that really got her. But I'm trying to think back. If they asked her one day, I'll have her on the podcast. I'll ask her. They'll be cool. Yeah. And we'll find out if it started happening sooner than that. We can look at pictures and try to figure it out that way. Yeah. Okay. So that's how you've been handling that. Did you put the Hashimotos together with the type one? Being alone? No,

Robin 4:25
not until. Not until I started listening to your podcast. I did not. Okay.

Scott Benner 4:30
And is there other thyroid or issues with autoimmune in your family?

Robin 4:35
Yes.

Scott Benner 4:36
What do you got? My

Robin 4:38
mom has Hashimoto and she has scleroderma. And my paternal aunt had scleroderma. And my paternal other aunt has Hashimotos there's something out Raynaud's My mom doesn't have scleroderma. She has Raynaud's

Scott Benner 5:04
your mom has right. Okay. Yeah. The sclera dome as the like on the skin, right? Yeah,

Robin 5:11
your your skin gets real hard like my aunt's fingers were all deformed she couldn't. And then she couldn't like pick a pencil up her fingers were just gnarly and cold. Like my mom has to wear gloves when she's like getting stuff out of the freezer. Because it's painful. It's extremely painful. My aunt also had Raynaud's along with the scleroderma. Wow.

Scott Benner 5:36
So if your mom's hand starts to get cold, it just runs in that direction and becomes painful and she can't stop it right away. Exactly. You can't back up the sclera DOMA also like connective tissue, I think too. That's where the kind of like I don't, I don't know a lot about it. Yeah. About a welfare look into it while we're talking. Okay, so I mean, it's fair to say 59 years old, you thought you were cruising, right?

Robin 6:01
Oh. Watch my language. If

Scott Benner 6:07
you curse, we'll just take it out. Don't worry. So So tell me a little bit about being diagnosed. What was the first thing you noticed? And what got you to the doctor?

Robin 6:16
extreme weight loss, I had lost almost 30 pounds. And people kept telling me go to the doctor. No, I probably have cancer. I'm not going to the doctor. But my mom got me to the doctor. So yeah. So the did you know, I'm losing all this weight? So she's like, Oh, we're gonna have to, you know, adjust your it's probably your thyroid. So they did the blood work came back that my agency was 12.9%. Typical, older person diagnosis put me on Metformin. That made me extremely nauseous. So I went back. Let's see, I got a timeline here, march 1 of 2021. I started the Metformin on March 16. I went back and you can get any more. So they gave me Januvia. And I was fine on that. And then on April 1, I had my first meeting with my diabetes nurse educator. And she, she's reading all the stuff talking, she's like, you are not presenting as a type, type two, I think you need to get some testing done. So I went back to the doctor on April 2, that was the next day. So she gave me two jails, which is a Basal insulin, and started me on 15 units. That was way too much.

Scott Benner 7:38
That was way too much. Yeah. Were you experiencing? re experiencing any kind of a honeymoon that you're aware of?

Robin 7:45
Not that I'm aware of. Okay.

Scott Benner 7:47
Just 15 years just in general is to me, You know what, Robin? It surprises me. Of course, I know you through a tiny little picture right on Instagram, Facebook that you chose probably the way we all chose our pictures like this is the best picture I've ever taken. I'll use this one. But But I think if he was a slender person, am I

Robin 8:07
yep, I was I was slender. So 30 pounds was a lot. Yeah, it was probably only like 108

Scott Benner 8:14
Oh, okay, that's what I was trying to get at. And so you you really didn't think you had cancer, didn't you? Oh, boy. How come you didn't want to go to the doctor?

Robin 8:25
I don't know. I know Knowledge is power. But ignorance is bliss. You know?

Scott Benner 8:30
Gotcha. Yeah. Baby, I run right to the doctor.

Robin 8:37
So so the 15 units, you know, there's a, there's a diabetes specialist in the clinic that I go to. She's mostly deals with type twos. But I called her and I'm like, I'm, I mean, one day, I was done working in the garden. And I said, Wow, I feel pretty funny. And that's like, I don't know how many yards it is. I'd have to ask my husband but it's quite a hike back up to the house by the time I got my contour out. And I was at 26. So So I called I called the clinic. I'm like, I think I'm taking too much insulin, so I didn't because I didn't have an endo appointment until July 19. Yeah, that was as soon as they could get me in. So so

Scott Benner 9:17
you're just shooting the Basal insulin at that point? Yeah, yeah, but that was way too much. I mean, I mean, are you still around 110 pounds or have you put some weight back? Well,

Robin 9:29
I initially once I got the Novolog and in the to jail, I got back up to about 97 for about four or five days and I'm stuck at 85 pounds. I am stuck here. I eat and eat and eat and I cannot.

Scott Benner 9:48
Robin Robin you went from like 130 pounds to 85 No 108 108 Excuse me to 285 Yeah. Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, that's uh, how tall are you? You must be three feet tall.

Robin 10:06
Nope, I'm too tall for my weight. I'm five foot one. Okay.

Scott Benner 10:08
Wow. And so you would like to have more weight? I'm trying.

Robin 10:12
Yeah. Okay. Yes. That's interest. 20 pounds, it would be fantastic.

Scott Benner 10:17
Is it possible you've got too much Synthroid.

Robin 10:23
Could you be by no by get tested? Every six months? I get tested for the, the thyroid and a onesie.

Scott Benner 10:31
Yeah, that's excellent. By the way. I'd like to say I hope everybody with a thyroid issue is getting tested every six months. Wow. Okay, well, good luck, but they take you out to dinner and see what we can get accomplished. Okay, so they adjust your Basal insulin, you finally get to the doctor in July. What is I mean, that's kind of the real beginning of your journey. I guess. What, what did you Yeah, yeah.

Robin 10:53
Yeah. Because she walks in. She says, any concerns? I said, I need to, I need to get into my and she said, Don't worry, I'll make you fat. Like, okay, here we go. She gave me Novolog. So take this 15 minutes before you eat. That was, I was I'm amazed that people aren't told to Pre-Bolus because that's one of the first thing she said to me. Um, I was on a one to 40 ICR insulin to carb ratio. And I think I was down to nine units of TJ Oh, by then I just kept lowering myself down and down. I don't Yeah, that was gone way too low. So and

Scott Benner 11:29
do you get a pump Are you injecting contour next one.com/juice box, that's the link you'll use. To find out more about the contour next gen blood glucose meter. When you get there, there's a little bit at the top, you can click right on blood glucose monitoring, I'll do it with you go to meters, click on any of the meters. I'll click on the Next Gen. And you're gonna get more information. It's easy to use, and highly accurate. smartlight provides a simple understanding of your blood glucose levels. And of course, with Second Chance sampling technology, you can save money with fewer wasted test strips. As if all that wasn't enough. The contour next gen also has a compatible app for an easy way to share and see your blood glucose results. Contour next one.com/juicebox. And if you scroll down at that link, you're gonna see things like a Buy Now button. You could register your meter after you purchase it or what is this download a coupon? Oh, receive a free Contour. Next One blood glucose meter. Do tell contour next one.com/juicebox head over there now get the same accurate and reliable meter that we use.

Robin 12:40
I didn't get my get my time when I got my Omnipod on September 30 of 2022. So I was MDI until then,

Scott Benner 12:48
okay. Was it tough being diagnosed during COVID? No, no. didn't change anything for you as doctor's appointments or anything like that?

Robin 12:57
No, everything was over zero. Okay. Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 13:01
Wow, you were no kidding.

Robin 13:04
Except the end Oh, my endo appointment was was in person.

Scott Benner 13:07
Okay. That's interesting. That is really interesting, actually. Okay, so you are shooting, you've got your basil down, things are starting to go better? Do you have them? I'm interested in your I don't mean this like this problem. But at your age, right? We've got like, six decades of life experience. Is it? Is it hard to find out you have type one? Well,

Robin 13:31
I lived for what a month as a type two. And that sucked in I have written in the group. I'd rather be a type one, type two. And people are like, Wow, are you crazy? I mean, I can eat anything I want as a type one as a type two. I was struggling. So I guess until you have lived it. You don't get it. But yes, it's hard.

Scott Benner 13:55
You had trouble because of trying to manipulate your diet. Yes, yeah. Yes. You find yourself giving things up. And you wanted them back. Like that kind of stuff?

Robin 14:06
Yeah. I felt like I had to give up everything. Just to keep my blood sugar down. And yeah, I was walking and walking in Washington and yeah, no, I'll take the insulin. Yeah,

Scott Benner 14:21
how about that, but it's an interesting perspective. I've also I'm also having a lot of experiences with food lately, because I'm taking we go V for weight loss, right. And at the same time, my wife is taking it my brother is on ozempic for his type two. And so like I'm watching a lot of people who I have close contact with tell stories about the impacts of food and things that they didn't even know were happening in their life prior and then suddenly you take this medication, which is sort of, you know, turns a switch in your brain kind of makes you not hungry. I mean from for us so far, when you get into the higher doses, foods stops having the pizzazz that it had for you before. Like, if there was a thing that you used to eat, and your brain was just like, oh my god, I'm so happy. Like, if that was happening to you, it kind of gets turned down. Like even the flavor of food, like it feels like it's muted a little bit, right. And I mean, I don't know, the technical side of it, if my dopamine is not spiking as much when I'm having these things, or if this is what's happening to other people. But once food doesn't have that kind of sway over you, it's interesting to see people go Yeah, I don't care if I eat that again. It's really, really something else actually like and then to not have that help. And then be just be told, stop eating that. I can see why people can't do that. I really, really, you know, it's it's interesting, and I'm not surprised that you had that experience. But anyway, I'm glad you got the correct diagnosis. That's fantastic. It didn't take too long for them to figure it out.

Robin 16:02
No, nope. If it wasn't for the diabetes nurse educator,

Scott Benner 16:07
might have been longer. It might have been longer. Yeah. So okay, so not so easier to be a type one that a type two for you, because it meant you could just start eating the things you wanted to eat and then covering them with insulin. Are you having success with that? Like, how was how was your health than your outcomes? Well,

Robin 16:27
I Well, my outcomes are great. Let's see. Oh, I gotta I gotta interject here a little bit. Yeah, I did. I did use the in pen between MDI. Okay, I know when I did use the M pen. Thank you. I would suggest that to people to go from MDI, just to a pump. I think that putting the in pen in there helped me so much to know how to use my my pump. Yes, it's in pen is amazing. Good

Scott Benner 17:03
bridge then for your Understand.

Robin 17:05
Yes, yes. Yes. So yeah, but yeah, my my agency is 4.90. Just

Scott Benner 17:13
what do you when you said you were when you said I couldn't eat the things I wanted to eat? What were the things you want to eat?

Robin 17:21
Just everything. I mean, I eat ice cream every night before I go to bed. All of a sudden, I couldn't have my ice cream. I've been ice cream every night before I go to bed for 3540 years, you know? So

Scott Benner 17:33
what is the best ice cream? I

Robin 17:34
live in northern Michigan so we have Hudsonville ice cream.

Scott Benner 17:39
What's your favorite flavor? It's

Robin 17:40
it's got chunks of brownies and chocolate ice cream with brownies. With Hershey syrup and cool with

Scott Benner 17:49
that Robin I have to ask do you like the ice cream? Or do you prefer the chocolate?

Robin 17:53
I prefer the ice cream.

Scott Benner 17:54
Okay. All right. So the the ice cream is helping you deliver all the chocolate.

Robin 18:01
I love are all the chocolates helping me deliver the ice cream

Scott Benner 18:05
every night. Seriously, you have it every night.

Robin 18:09
Yeah, wow. Well, well the last few nights because it's strawberry season is ending here. So I've been having Strawberry Shortcake but I'm at a strawberry so I'll go back to ice cream tonight.

Scott Benner 18:25
I'm now trying to see if this is some like amazing ice cream that I don't know. Oh yeah. Hudson. Is it Hudsonville? Yes. Hudsonville ice cream. Oh, they've got a nice website.

Robin 18:39
Oh, I've never never been

Scott Benner 18:42
Have you tried the blue moon? What is that? Oh, yeah,

Robin 18:44
Blue Moon. That's just that's and that's a blast from my childhood. It's just sherbet. It's I don't even know what flavor it is.

Scott Benner 18:56
I'm trying to figure out which one you eat. brownie batter cookie dough. Wow, that does look good. Doesn't it? Hold on a second. Double Chocolate Almond? And ice cream is terrific. I don't know who thought of it but genius. Seriously,

Robin 19:13
I made homemade ice cream. July 4.

Scott Benner 19:15
Did you I'm doing that now at home. I'm using the creamy maker Arden got it for me for Christmas last year. Oh neat. Yeah, I made some strawberry ice cream last weekend. It's really creamy. And like you stole real strawberries and everything's really good. Anyway, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get distracted with the ice cream conversation. But I think the I think the interesting thing here is you're keeping a 4.9% a one C and you're having some sort of like a like a dessert every night. It sounds like so what what is it you're doing to keep your agency that way?

Robin 19:51
I have my alarm set. Lower. I'm my my ranges 80 to 120 and I'm pretty successful at keeping an eye in there. I mean, of course I go high or I go a little low, but like, I know everybody does. But I'm, I'm probably if I do like a 90 day clarity thing, I'm probably 85% in range. In my very my, what's that called? Standard deviation is? I think the last time I looked it was 19.

Scott Benner 20:26
Holy, Robin. Good job. Thank you. Oh, wait a minute. I didn't know you're gonna say something nice. I wouldn't have talked to over you say it again.

Robin 20:39
I said that's because of you. Oh,

Scott Benner 20:41
I'm so happy to hear that. Thank you very much. I I'm touched, really. And I think the ice cream company owes me something. Because without me, it sounds like they'd be out a fair amount of money from you. Probably. So you're just, you're just doing the thing is your Pre-Bolus and your meals, you are setting your alarm. So you hear if you're getting high. You have good settings. And that's it. Right? You're not really doing much else. And I'm looping. You are you're using a loop? Yep. Okay,

Robin 21:11
I didn't I didn't build it myself. And I told you I was gonna say this on here. But I do hire an outside company called type one pal. Yeah. Or T T one pal. And they're fantastic. They don't have to worry about anything. I just give them their 50 bucks a month. And they just do

Scott Benner 21:29
everything. Yeah, yeah, I have no trouble with you mentioning it. Absolutely not. I like managing a face. I

Robin 21:34
wasn't I wasn't gonna buy a Mac and try to build this thing myself. I'm, I could probably but I wasn't gonna

Scott Benner 21:42
$50 a month you'd get to a Mac in a in about a year and a half probably. Right. With that, so how long have you been looping

Robin 21:52
since November 2 of 2022.

Scott Benner 21:55
Okay, that's a really listen, no matter how you're doing it a 4.9. It shows that you're paying attention in my opinion. It's that you're, you're responding before things get out of hand. And you're not overtreating lows. Like that's really what, what a lower emcee says to me.

Robin 22:13
Yes, that's, that's, that's the main thing that parents need to hear is don't over treat those lows. Because once you shoot up to 300, because you got scared because your kid was at 50 You know, don't over treat those lows. Because once you get up to 300, then it's gonna take you hours to get

Scott Benner 22:32
back down. Ya know? 100% It's, it's not my

Robin 22:36
husband's like, Why are you only eating one gummy bear? And what is that?

Scott Benner 22:40
We're gonna find out. Yep. Well, Arden went out the door last night at I don't know, 1010 30 just to run her friend home, just drive across across town. And you know, it's funny how it happens. Sometimes we just eaten. Arden's been changing our supplements a little bit. So things are changing for we were starting to see her insulin needs are changing, like she's been home a little longer now from college foods, you know, better and better over weeks. And she's probably a little heavy right now on our insulin to carb ratio. And so she's like, I'm just going to run her home. I'll be right back. And we hear Beep, beep beep and I was like, Ah, I said, Well, do you have a juice with the it sounds like you're low. And I pulled out my phone. I said, Hey, you're actually 63. And there's like a diagonal down arrow here. And she goes, Okay, so she grabs, she opens the gummy bear jar. And it doesn't count them even. She just reaches in and pulls them out and with a little bit of precision grabs out of her hand, puts the rest back in the jar, pops them in her mouth, and she leaves. And I'm like you have a juice with you. And she was I do and she goes, I'll be fine. I'm like, okay, so they get in the car drive away the next reading on the Dexcom g7. Now, by the way, is a level 60 blood sugar like so the down arrow stopped and it's 60. And then she hung out at her friend's house and they talked in the car for a while they're making big plans, you know? And then she went back up to 83 and it leveled out. I was like, wow, look at that. Look how easy that was, you know?

Robin 24:14
Yeah, just don't overdo it. You can't get scared and just start eating the refrigerator. The kitchen

Scott Benner 24:21
I think is turn. Yeah, that's how they say it right? Yeah, it really is. So

Robin 24:24
I understand I get it. But I guess with With practice, you'll learn. You don't get so scared.

Scott Benner 24:33
You can tell the difference. You can also tell the difference from Hey, I got a little low to this thing is crashing through the floor. You can write Yeah, like when when we

Robin 24:45
mean I've been scared before when I was 26 Yeah. That was scary. But the house looks far away. What's that?

Scott Benner 24:55
I said Your house looks pretty far away. I imagine when you felt like that.

Robin 24:58
Oh man. Yeah. Yeah, I'm

Scott Benner 25:01
not saying don't correct things not saying, you know, not saying you're 75, two hours down, you're like, I'm just gonna pop a gummy bear in here and see what happens. Like, you have to understand the circumstances around your low. But it was just interesting to watch her. She kind of just assessed everything like she, she had a big meal. She was aggressive about it, there was a lot of rice with a meal. So she was aggressive. And then she knew how she felt like you could even see or, like, pause for a second and assess herself. Like it was really interesting, really interesting. She's like, I don't feel low. And I'm like, okay, and then she's like, you know, gummy bears like this good. And I'm like, You want to wait a minute? She goes, No, I'm okay. And I'm like, All right, like, so that's a big thing. Like she's getting in a car, you know? So yeah, you know, double check. There's a juice right in the door pocket. She's got a friend with her. I'm like, alright, well, I mean, she's gonna have to live her whole life. So you know, right. Need to know how to figure all this out. Well, that

Robin 25:57
just takes time. It just takes time. Arden by now should know exactly. Exactly how to do it. Ya know, it's

Scott Benner 26:05
really interesting. Especially

Robin 26:06
you're hanging out in Chicago.

Scott Benner 26:10
Oh, yeah. Wherever she is in college, Chicago. And yeah, Chicago was one of the places she was considering going. I think that's how it popped out of her mouth. That's why

Robin 26:18
we that's why we say it like that. Yes. Yeah. She's

Scott Benner 26:21
like, she did it on the podcast, right? She's like, tell them tell those people. She said that I go to college in Chicago. I was like, Okay, your people. Yeah, your your people tell you people that I'm like, they're not my people. They're their own people. That's just very funny. Okay, so, I mean, you sound like you're doing terrific. And I'm appreciative that the podcast helped you. How did you find it?

Robin 26:49
Because you are I found the podcast in November of 2021. So I think I went on Facebook and was looking for diabetes groups, type one groups and found yours. Found the group first.

Scott Benner 27:06
Okay, so you were on Facebook first?

Robin 27:08
I thought, yes. I found the group November 2021. And then while chatting in there, I'm like, wait, what podcast? Tell me about this podcast. So I don't remember which one I listened to first. Probably whatever one popped up. When I opened the pod, you know, the app. I probably listened to that one. And then I went back to number one. And I've listened to every single one of them. And most of them twice. Some of them three and four times.

Scott Benner 27:35
Wow. Why do you listen over and over again, tell people what that does. Because

Robin 27:41
you miss things like I would. I would listen while I was at work. So you know, I could get a phone call or something when I get interrupted and maybe I missed something. So listening to them over. I hear things that I didn't hear the first time. And like the fat and protein one I've listened to probably four or five times. Yeah, Arden's Arden's I've listened to a lot over it's just hilarious. The second one was hilarious.

Scott Benner 28:12
Yeah, we were. We were tired that night. It was late and we were very punchy. Oh my god. Yeah. Like there's no way to stop yourself from just saying any stupid thing. You're thinking I'll do. I I'm trying so hard to get her to record again. While she's home. She's not feeling well right now because her TSH jumped up. And oh, and she went, she got home and she's like, you know, I've been home for like a week now or so she's like, I'm achy. My joints are hurting again. She's like, this still isn't happening at school. Like, you know, and you're like, your brain goes crazy trying to figure it all out. But oh my god, well, let's get you to the doctor and get a blood draw. Their TSH came back like way high. And the doctors the doctor, she's actually going to talk to her today on the phone. But the doctor is like, I don't think this is going to stay this way. I think this is inflammation making your TSH higher. And I think that's really something because it sounds so I don't know it sounds Hocus Pocus, he it's hard to talk about inflammation. But if you have autoimmune issues, some people are experiencing like constant or intermittent inflammation problems. And so the doctor is like, Look, if we go back, she's like, it doesn't make sense for your weight and all that other stuff that your that your medications should be that much more aggressive. She's like, we maybe can like turn them up for a little while but we're gonna have to be really careful. We're gonna make you hyper really quickly. And so like they're getting they're working that out right now. But Arden said the other night she said I couldn't go to sleep till like five in the morning because of how bad my legs hurt. Oh, yeah. And she's like, it's it's definitely because of my thyroid. So they told me

Robin 29:49
many, many years ago before it was a thing that I had something called fibromyalgia. While it was shortly after that, that I was diagnosed with The Hypothyroidism Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:02
So not fiber, my fibromyalgia which I think especially back then men, like we don't know what's wrong with you

Robin 30:11
is all these symptoms and so they just Yeah,

Scott Benner 30:13
yeah so she's gonna get on the phone today and they're gonna come up with a plan to kind of try to get it back again. And then stay ahead of it and but it sucks because it really is. It's,

Robin 30:24
she's on break, she needs to enjoy her her break. Yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 30:27
no kidding. Anyway, where was I going with all that? Okay, so you found the Facebook group. And then you know it's funny, that sentence that you spoke a little while ago used to fry my brain. Like I couldn't understand when people were in the Facebook group and they're like, I don't understand what podcasts you're talking about. But then it occurred to me eventually, that the Facebook group had such a good, I don't know, like vibe about it like a buzz that people would say, use that Facebook group, because you'll do better with your diabetes if you go in there and check it out. And that people would end up there without ever hearing about the podcast, like the first time that happened to me. I just had a very concrete idea like, oh, I made a Facebook group to support the podcast. So obviously everyone knows what the podcast is. But it took me right. It didn't take long for that not to be the truth. So and vice versa. I think there are people listening to this right now. They're like Facebook group, what are you talking about? So be Yeah, it's interesting how it

Robin 31:27
works. Yeah, I'm not in there. As much as I used to be, like, if I'm scrolling the newsfeed, meaning I see a post, I'll read it, and sometimes I'll comment. But at first, it was extremely helpful, but,

Scott Benner 31:41
ya know, it's not a thing that you're gonna stay in forever. If it's going. If you're figuring things out, like eventually you're just gonna say, Okay, I know these things, then you make that decision. Like, am I a person who stops in once in a while and says Hi, and tells people hey, I have an answer for this. I see. Nobody else is answering it. Or you go back to your life. You know, it's

Robin 31:59
Yeah, I did post in there that maybe a couple of weeks ago, I must have had a low under night and I woke up and I had a dark Skittles next to me in bed and there was stuck in my hair and

Scott Benner 32:12
Skittles stuck in your hair when you woke up? Yeah,

Robin 32:15
because I freeze dry Skittles. And so they're hard so they're easy to eat. Oh, yeah, they're crunchy when you're braised around. So I have a jar of him on my nightstand. Yeah,

Scott Benner 32:30
Robin, where did you come up with that? From? Where did you get that idea? What to freeze dried them.

Robin 32:36
I have a freeze dryer. You're

Scott Benner 32:38
just like let's see what happens when I put a Skittle in here. Oh, no, no, no, that's

Robin 32:41
it's a thing. People sell freeze dried candy for big bucks. Oh, this

Scott Benner 32:46
is like I don't know about Yeah,

Robin 32:48
it's a thing. Look it up. You got the Google right there. I gotta right here. Yeah, freeze dried Skittles. They kind of blow out. The Yeah, you'll see when you're when you're

Scott Benner 33:00
robbing Yeah, you're a sugar connoisseur.

Robin 33:03
Boy, trying to gain 20 pounds.

Scott Benner 33:08
Try something else. Have you tried to choose? Are you a vegetarian or anything?

Robin 33:14
Oh, god. No, no, I'm a no I'm a carnivore.

Scott Benner 33:20
Robin trying to name her episode. Good job.

Right down here, Robin such a 3544 I got it. Don't worry. Oh, that's hilarious. So I just need to I don't know why I need to tell you this. But when Kelly and I were first dating, so we're really young. We had gummy lifesavers, one day, and we were in bed, you know when you're young. And like we were like it was the end of the night and I put a gummy Lifesaver around her toe like a ring. And then then we forgot about it. And we woke up the next morning. It was like it was horrifying. How that little gummy Lifesaver got warm with like, you know, her body temperature and then just smeared on everything it was it was

Robin 34:16
probably a red one to look like a grind. It was

Scott Benner 34:18
just everywhere. Like this sheets were sticking to her and to me. Like I'm just like it was this one little gummy lifesaver. Like how could that be? Oh my god. Gummy candy. So good. Anyway. What made you want to come on the podcast?

Robin 34:34
I didn't you invited me.

Scott Benner 34:37
You didn't want to come? Why did you say Yeah,

Robin 34:39
well, I don't I don't mind. I mean, I don't. Yeah, I mean, I didn't ask you though, you you. I posted something in on a Facebook group and you invited me You said I'd like to like to have you on and I said why? And he said because I like you and I said what do you think John? And he said go for it. I said

Scott Benner 34:59
okay, cool. Now you're very, you're very interesting. And by the way, so far, almost exactly how I pictured you, but not quite. So I didn't know you were like, I didn't know the part of the country you lived in in my head. You were like a California person. Oh, I don't know why

Robin 35:16
I never even been to California.

Scott Benner 35:18
There's still time.

Robin 35:21
It's retire. I'm retiring on September 29. So yeah.

Scott Benner 35:25
Are you really good for you?

Robin 35:26
I am. Oh, I'd say I was gonna retire two years ago. And now it's my turn. What are you going to do? As little as possible?

Scott Benner 35:36
I've got big plans. Scott. I'm sitting here.

Robin 35:38
I've got a garden that I'm looking at. That's about almost an acre. So really integrating in a greenhouse? Yeah.

Scott Benner 35:45
I don't understand. How do you have so much space in Michigan?

Robin 35:48
I have 37 acres. My gosh, what

Scott Benner 35:51
have you what so Wait, what did you do for your life? Like, how do you acquire 37 acres? Well,

Robin 35:56
this, this was acquired my my husband is the middle of five. And this was the family farm, his grandpa on this farm, and then his dad and mom got it eventually. And then he built this house. And his dad passed away. Probably tonight. No, no, no. We've been here. Oh, my gosh. We've been here for years already. So his dad passed away. And then his stepmom decided to move to Florida. She has recently passed though. And once stepmom moved out, it went to we came to us.

Scott Benner 36:39
Wow, that was interesting to listen to you in real time. Think about the time and distance of your life.

Robin 36:49
COVID COVID has me so screwed up. I gotta add those two years in there. Just got me

Scott Benner 36:54
feels exist. Yeah, it really does. Doesn't it? Like it just it feels like it we were on pause or something like that. Wow. So you say you have a farm. But your your retirement goal is just putter around. Take care of your acre, like that kind of stuff. Yep. Yeah. Sounds relaxing.

Robin 37:14
Sure, well, maybe travel a little bit.

Scott Benner 37:19
Do you have any places you'd like to see?

Robin 37:21
Our son lives in. My, my husband has two boys and I have one from previous marriages. And then we got married. So we are three. But his youngest. The middle son lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in Iron Mountain. So that's about an eight hour drive. So we like to go up there and our other son lives down by Lansing the oldest and then our youngest my my son lives right next to our property connects. He's got I think five acres next to us.

Scott Benner 38:01
You have a bunch of grandchildren. I have four

Robin 38:04
grandchildren that live next door and they have a trail through the through the woods right from their house to towers. They get on, they get on the quads, and here they come.

Scott Benner 38:12
She's that sounds so nice.

Robin 38:14
It's it's wonderful.

Scott Benner 38:16
I have all the things that almost made me cry on this podcast. I didn't expect to hear that your grandchildren had a trail through the woods to your house to like put it brought a tear to my eye for some reason. I'm oh my gosh, grandmother's house we go yeah, that's amazing. That really is. That's wonderful. So you're gonna just you're that's it like you, you have like a classic like I'm gonna retire. I'm going to do the things I like and relax. Yep. Good for you. What do you do your whole life?

Robin 38:44
Well, over the last 17 years, I've sold property and casualty insurance homeowners auto, commercial, not life, no life insurance. But that's what I've done for the last 17 years.

Scott Benner 38:56
Did you work in an office or own the office? No, I

Robin 39:01
didn't own it. But I I've always worked in an office.

Scott Benner 39:04
Is that a sales job to you? Well, everything's a sales job really robbing but you know?

Robin 39:12
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I not really I did more of the customer service part of it. But I am licensed to sell insurance. So I I've sold a few 100 policies over my ears, but I'm not really this. The agent, the

Scott Benner 39:29
salesman? Yeah, you're doing back end stuff. Yep. Yep.

Robin 39:32
He sells them and I've I finished them off.

Scott Benner 39:36
It's amazing. What what do you can i This is a I don't mean this to be like a creepy question. Because you're, you're only 61. But when you own that much property, is it hard to know what to do with it when you pass away? like, Wait, how do you decide where it goes? Because you don't want to give it to five people 10 people and have them split it up and sell it like you want it to stay in the family somehow I would imagine but then how do you make that decision? Actually,

Robin 40:00
we just did this. We just got everything all finalized. The the oldest wants to live like in South Carolina, he doesn't want it. The middle son says He'll never leave the Upper Peninsula. He doesn't want it. The youngest has the property that connects to it. And he would give anything to have it. So it goes to the youngest. And then the older two will get whatever money's left.

Scott Benner 40:27
Oh, no kidding. Oh, so he'll have to buy them out. No, no, no,

Robin 40:31
you have it, they get them. They get them. They get the money and the baby gets the bar. Look at you.

Scott Benner 40:36
It's a thing you have to do. Right? Like there's no way you can't get that straight ahead of time. We always like once Arden had diabetes. Kelly and I were like, look, you know, we have to save as much money as we can. Like, we just felt like we needed to leave something to art. And like, what if Arden ends up being like anirudha? Well, right. And I don't want to I don't want to think that she doesn't have access to insulin or supplies or stuff like that. Right? Yeah. So we're pretty hard workers. And we're trying to save money as best we can. But the minute you start making that decision, you think, Well, I can't just like, like, however much money I can amass over my lifetime. I can't just give it to her. It Right. That's about coal. Because coal, coal will feel like wow, they gave everything to her. Like we couldn't do that tonight. Then there's more pressure. Oh, you have to make more money it gets. It's like I know. Yeah, it's horrible.

Robin 41:28
I get it. That's why I just I just Well, actually, my cozy Earth order is being delivered today. Do you remember? Do you remember getting on my case?

Scott Benner 41:36
The nuclear you broke my balls about cozy earth so many times, and then you bought something? Thank you.

Robin 41:43
I had to, I told my husband. I can't record the podcast, I have ordered something from cozier.

Scott Benner 41:50
That's so funny. Hold on. I'll get back to that for a second. So we told the kids like we're like, look, I don't know how much we can save. But whatever we can save. Like, I have to be honest, if Arden didn't have diabetes, we'd be like good luck, soccer's. But you know, and maybe, like retire early or something like that. I'm like, but because of the situation. And Cole has Hashimotos now. So like, okay, like, maybe this is going to, like keep going in their lives. I'm like, we're going to save as much as we can. And when we go, we're going to split it between the two of you and please don't piss it away, or let some harlot take it from you or whatever, you know, because the worst thing I can imagine Robin is like braking is my whole life. And some guy or girl like takes it off my kid one day, like it really is an upsetting thought, you know? Yeah. Anyway, okay, so. So I branch, I branch out who is it first, athletic greens is first they come to me. And they're, they say like, look, you know, we'd like to buy ads on the podcast. And I was like, wow, like, I really, that really meant. I know, it sounds crazy. That was a big deal to me. Because it's not a medical company looking to buy an ad like, you know, Dexcom wanting to buy an ad on this podcast makes, you know, makes a ton of sense, right?

Robin 43:06
I'm gonna crunch I gotta eat a smarty sorry,

Scott Benner 43:09
your business. Hey, and then I'll ask you about your blood sugar in a second. When Athletic Greens comes by. I'm like, Oh, I'm a real podcast. Like, it's not just like just the diabetes podcast. This is a real podcast. And it's the kind of podcast that people listen to at work. And, you know, one day, like, their employers will be mad because podcasts exist, and everybody's listening to podcasts and not working. But, but I was like, Oh, wow. And then we did a test, you know, they're like, let's do a few months. So a few months go by and they call back and like, we want to do more. And I'm like, really? And they're like, Yeah, we're getting a really nice response from you. And I'm like, Oh, fantastic. Like, this is terrific. And then one day, I get this email. And this girl is like, hey, we think we want to try to buy podcast ads from you. Or cozy Earth and I was like, What the hell like Okay, so I'm like looking into it and everything and I was like, Well, you know, send me something so I can try it. I think they sent me like sweatpants or sheets, maybe first I'm not sure what it was. And I was like, I slept on those sheets for a little while. I was like, Oh, I get behind this. I want more of these sheets. I can see people would want these. They're not inexpensive. And so you know, so it's so it's like look, we'll give your listeners 35% off actually, Robin, you're the first person to know this. Very soon my offer code will be 40% off.

Robin 44:31
You might have gotten I still got a good deal though. Because I got an on the Fourth of July sale. It would have originally I got this written down here. It would have originally been $257.31. And I got it for 129 19 and free shipping.

Scott Benner 44:45
Fourth of July plus my 35%. Yes, lovely. Yeah, good for you. I should have bought more sheets that day. Because by the way, they said every time they re up the contract. They're like we'd like to send you a gift and I'm like sent me a sweatshirt or like artists like has pajama pants or something like that. Well, but I have a problem with my money since then.

Robin 45:04
Oh, gotcha. But oh, so nice. Yeah, I'll let you know. Because I love. I mean, there were all kinds of clothes on there that I just loved but too big. There's they're extra small was still too big for me. Because I can't mean any damn way. But I did find a pair of joggers I had a drawstring.

Scott Benner 45:28
I'm telling you, I dream about putting those joggers on Sunday. But, but the funny thing is, is like you you like you. I don't know, I put links up online, like to understand the process of the podcast, like so that you can learn how to take care of your diabetes, which, you know, you said the podcast was really helpful with, I need to be able to make a real podcast like I can't put up an episode once a week, like that's a vanity project. It's a hobby, right? Like it does that won't get enough downloads to keep it viable to spread it around everything. So you need to do what I do. You need to make content and put out a real podcast. And and that takes an immense amount of time. Like I can't even begin to tell you that about 70 hours a week is spent with my sitting in this chair doing something for this podcast. That's more than I work. Yeah. And so like it needs to be like I have to be compensated for it, or my wife is going to be like, you know, how are we going to save the money for the kids and like, you know, not for us, apparently, but for them. And, and so the advertising is really important. So once in a while I go on the Facebook group and I'm like, hey, don't forget Dexcom don't forget this, like, you know, like, remind people Hey, check this out. And then I'm like, Hey, cozy Earth to new sponsor, you get 35% off. And right away Robins like this stuff's expensive. And I'm like, like, Robin, I want

Robin 46:48
you to, like it's a little pricey. It's a little whips me in the group.

Scott Benner 46:56
I'm like, Robert, what do you do? Let them get over, let them get over there and decide if they think it's too expensive or not. I'm gonna I'm gonna walk into that insurance agency tomorrow. And I'm gonna be like, Hey, you guys don't need insurance?

Robin 47:11
No, you explained it in one of your podcasts to somebody and I was like, Man, that makes sense. I get it. Get it? Okay, let me go shop. And

Scott Benner 47:20
I've also been sensitive to it. Because there used to be a person in the Facebook group who I counted as, like a real fan of the podcast and like, me, and like the whole thing. And one day, they just turned on me, like, and they wrote, and they were like, this is all about money to you. And I'm like, I'm like, I don't know how you can say that. Like, you know, I mean, I make a living, and but I pay my taxes. And when it's all over, I'm not sitting on a mountain of gold. You know, like, it's, it's, it's a fair exchange. I mean, honestly, I don't know that I'm being compensated well enough, if I'm being perfectly honest with you. And for time that gets put into it and care. And, you know, for making a podcast, by the way that feels like it's made by like, the like off the cuff. But it is, is thoughtfully set up in a way that helps you take better care of your health. And, you know, like, it's not easy, by the way. And then, and I was like, I got on, I'm like, I don't I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. And she's like, you're pushing this link for an advertiser. I'm like, I'm pushing the links for all the advertisers because if I don't, I think I'll get a different job. And then the podcast stops. And then the emails that come from people that say things like, we're screwed, yeah, my eat my agency went from 11 to 5.9, or blah, blah, blah. And here's a picture of my kid at the their birthday party eating, you know, ice cream, and they're okay. And like, like, all that stops, because I'm the only one putting this kind of effort into putting this content out. And so, like, at home, I really am like, I swear to you, like I am not over here. Getting wealthy. Like I'm not like, you know, and if I wasn't

Robin 48:56
you don't have to explain yourself to anybody. Jeez. Yeah,

Scott Benner 48:59
Robin, that's the other thing because like, on the other side of it, I'm like, if I was like, if the podcast was making, I don't know, if I was like, sitting on $3 million a year like I hear some people's podcasts like do crazy crazy money, right? Do I need to feel bad about that if that was happening? Like I don't I don't think so either. Right. So but it's not you know, point of fact. And, and anyway, like I couldn't, it was just weird to see it felt like I was being bid by my family pet. Because I had such a warm feelings for this person. And now suddenly she's on my wrist and shaking my arm and I'm like, What the? I was like, I don't know where that come and then also it's Facebook Robin, so I don't know if something is like drunk o'clock. Sometimes. You know what I mean? And

Robin 49:45
oh, yeah, I've done drunk o'clock on Facebook before.

Scott Benner 49:50
We have these like conversations like, like between, like the moderators and I and I'm like, I think this is just a drunk person. Let's just like not worry What else to do? Anyway, I appreciate that she's still in the group. Now she left. Oh, I didn't kick her. I don't kick people out like that you got to be real quick to get kicked out of my group. But, ya know, she just left. And I felt terrible. And I was like, I tried to explain it to her and didn't seem like she cared. And I was like, Alright, whatever. Like it just, there's nothing I can do about that, I guess.

Robin 50:26
Anyway, what another 40,000 sitting there, so,

Scott Benner 50:29
yeah, we're okay. It just feels weird that there was a person who was being helped being helped by it and then just walked away from it was like, okay. Good luck. Like, I'm not I don't feel bad about it for them or me, but it's just strange. Anyway, cuz the earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% Robin off your entire order.

Robin 50:50
Why don't you save 35%

Scott Benner 50:53
I'll send you a check for the six bucks that I got.

Robin 50:58
For the July discount, whatever that was at that time. Anyways, I got a good deal. And I'm not worried about 5%.

Scott Benner 51:04
Good for you. And what a great cozier that I didn't mean for that to be this, but they actually, you know, went full disclosure. Last week, they came back to me and they said, Hey, we want to do two ads a month for the rest of the year. And I was like, well, that's terrific. And, and that money. I mean, listen, after I pay taxes on it, it turns into about half that money. But right, yeah, it will help me pay for Arden's next semester of college. Like, wow, that's awesome. It's really cool. You know what I mean? And, yeah, it's a nice feeling. Because I'm sure like most people, when your kids go off to college, you don't know, like, how am I paying for this? You know, and a lot of people end up with loans. And because of this podcast, like in partly due to this podcast, like my children will go through life without student loans. Like it's a really big deal. Yeah, it's a really big deal for me. So

Robin 52:06
I do all this when join the army right after 911. And get their college paid for free when they got

Scott Benner 52:13
out. So wow, that was lovely for them to do that. Yeah. How was that experience? I

Robin 52:19
wasn't so thrilled.

Scott Benner 52:20
I was gonna say, What did that feel like them leaving like that?

Robin 52:23
Oh, that was awful. Because sometimes you didn't hear from them for 468 weeks at a time, you didn't know if they were dead or alive. Yeah, that sucks. Jesus, that's they were in Iraq and Afghanistan at the same time. In fact, one Thanksgiving, they got to be together. The middle son was headed towards where the oldest son was. And he told the commander or whoever, and they were able to stop and have dinner together.

Scott Benner 52:51
That's lovely. All right. I want to finish up with your diabetes. So okay, I want to know a little bit about your day, how you eat and how you manage. He just walked me through it to get up in the morning. What do you do for breakfast.

Robin 53:05
So if I have to go to the office, I've been I'm working now working home from home three days a week. And I only have to go to the office two days, but it would be every morning, I'd stop at McDonald's or Burger and I get a breakfast sandwich. And then when I get to the office, I Pre-Bolus for it. And then I warm it up if need be, had been at about a level that you that are usually about 830 quarter to nine. Then about 10 3011 o'clock, I'll have like peanut butter cheese crackers or granola bar or one of those huge green bars. And then at lunchtime just about every day, I have a pork barbecue sandwich and potato chips. And then about three o'clock I have a piece of fruit, like cherries or a banana or something like that. Yeah. And then then when I get home about seven weeks dinner and then before I go to bed, I eat a big ol boy ice cream.

Scott Benner 54:05
Do you do the ice cream at the end of the night to try to put weight on?

Robin 54:09
No, it's just a habit. I started like 40 years ago. Wow.

Scott Benner 54:14
Do you really eat ice cream every night? Yes. Wow. No kidding.

Robin 54:20
I did find some carbs smart ice cream. There's only 11 grams of carbs in it. And it doesn't spike your blood sugar as bad as like real ice cream. So if anybody is interested, like for Breyers carbs, smart ice cream and I found some like lunch cycles too. I have some of those in there. So like right now I can just go grab a bunch of cocoa and I have two Bolus for it.

Scott Benner 54:42
Robin I see you is just using a piece of that farm to make your own ice cream.

Robin 54:47
I would love a milk cow but a lot of work. Yeah, a lot. We have a barn we have a barn a big red barn with stanchions and I could get a milk cow and be all set up.

Scott Benner 54:57
That's a lot of cow poop too, though. If you haven't, it's good for the garden. Well, alright, well, I think we're talking about two chickens. Robin.

Robin 55:05
We just called our chickens there in the freezer now, but we raised 20 Cornish cross chickens. And in eight weeks, they got to about eight pounds. Their meat birds. The egg layers are next door at my son's house and he's got about 43.

Scott Benner 55:26
So yeah, we have chickens. Does your son sell the eggs? Yes, we sell

Robin 55:31
the eggs and also I freeze dry them. So in the wintertime, I have fresh eggs

Scott Benner 55:37
where you can freeze dry and egg. Yep, you just did. I don't know about freeze dried.

Robin 55:45
I don't know, the machines. The machines are really expensive. Like mine. I have a medium size. They go from small, medium, large and extra large. I have a medium that was about $4,000. So they're not cheap. But my eggs that are in the all freeze dried will be good in 30 years, my kids will be used I don't

Scott Benner 56:07
I don't understand what happens when you freeze dry something.

Robin 56:10
The machine sublimates the water out of the food and then dries it after the waters the moisture sublimate it out, it dries it and then you package it in mylar and you put oxygen absorbers in the bags. And then you seal them. And yeah, I mean IV you know,

Scott Benner 56:31
Robin, is this a prepper thing? Are you getting ready for Armageddon? Or no?

Robin 56:36
I'm not it's not a I'm not a prepper but it's preparing it's buying at today's prices.

Scott Benner 56:41
Eating it tomorrow when I get you. Yeah,

Robin 56:45
yeah. I did like eight pounds of cremini mushrooms. Those are awesome when you rehydrate them make homemade mushroom soup or gravy.

Scott Benner 56:57
How long does stuff stay good for when you freeze dry it

Robin 56:59
25 to 30 years no kidding.

Scott Benner 57:04
Wow. I don't i By the way, this episode is going to be called freeze dried Skittles. There's no way it's not going to be it was so close to carnivore a second ago but definitely that's insane. Like i How long does it take to freeze dry something?

Robin 57:23
It depends on what it is how much moisture it is yesterday I took out cherries, strawberries and lemon slices. I put the lemon slices in my margaritas by the way. And strawberries. And that that load took probably about 28 hours.

Scott Benner 57:45
What happens to the liquid that they takes out of the food is it. There's like a drip tray.

Robin 57:49
There's a stainless steel drum around the rack. So you slide your trays in the rack. And then this steel drum is around it and when the water sublimates it sticks to that steel drum in its it forms ice on it.

Scott Benner 58:05
No kidding. All right. This is a whole thing I don't know anything about. I'm actually really interested. So crazy.

Robin 58:13
It's very, very interesting.

Scott Benner 58:15
I'm looking. It's fun, because what do you love about it? Just

Robin 58:21
nine I have all that food. I mean, and the kids enjoy it too. They like because I asked my little three year old grandson. Do you want some strawberries? He goes are they freeze dried? Because some because when you freeze dry, it makes it crunchy. Yeah. And so if I offer him something, he'll say I'm gonna need a glass of water to go with grandma. So I made some like protein bars, I took vanilla yogurt and mixed it with pureed strawberries. And I did blueberries also just mix it all together and put protein powder in it. Thinking that you know, just try to get myself some more protein trying to gain weight. But, but the They're Real powdery when you bite into them. And so it almost sometimes can make you choke. So you got to have something that we're gonna have water with it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 59:09
Interesting. I do like freeze dried apple chips. I have to admit.

Robin 59:14
Yeah, I've done 500 pounds of apples. Probably. I've only had it since January. Do

Scott Benner 59:21
you share it with neighbors or friends or anything like that? Yep,

Robin 59:24
yep. Friends. I do apples girl. A lot of people but

Scott Benner 59:29
I didn't know this existed. Like, I'm gonna look into it. How long would it take to free Australia? Like a six year old child for example?

Robin 59:36
I don't know. That was actually a that was there's a freeze drying group Facebook group, of course. And I went to right lids and kids and I didn't catch it. And so that became a big thing. And he said I was just picturing putting stuff in my three year old grandson into my freeze dryer. It was a big thing.

Scott Benner 59:59
I wonder if you get Probably couldn't rehydrate them or we would have figured that out by now. Yeah, that's gonna kill you for sure. Yeah, nevermind.

Robin 1:00:06
I think it's different than that cryo thing.

Scott Benner 1:00:10
Let's just put that in there as a safety thing. Don't freeze dry. It's a living thing. It's not gonna work out. Right, meet you freeze dry me. Yep. So again, pre color after it's cooked. Um,

Robin 1:00:22
well, when we, we got our, we had our beef butchered. I got the liver, the heart and the tongue in those I just did raw, and then those, give it to my dog or dog treats. But if, if you're a prepper, you're gonna want it cooked before you freeze dry it. So you can because if all of a sudden there's no electricity, or no LP gas for your grill or whatever, you're not gonna be able to cook anything. Okay? So so it's better if you if you're a prepper you're gonna want to pre cook your your stuff. Now all you have to do is add hot water.

Scott Benner 1:01:00
I say. And then we're right back again. Then you're

Robin 1:01:04
right back again. And it's good and tastes just like well, that was the same just like

Scott Benner 1:01:10
it went in. Yeah, that was my next question. You don't notice that it's been freeze dried?

Robin 1:01:14
Not at all. That's crazy. About some things. Some things you can't rehydrate. like strawberries, they turned to mush. Once Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:01:23
yeah. Like a like a, like a space movie where they try to move something from one place to another and it comes back put together wrong. I wouldn't know. We don't have TV in Michigan. Stop it.

Robin 1:01:36
I have TV, but I don't watch movies.

Scott Benner 1:01:38
Now you What's the last movie you saw? Oh, it's

Robin 1:01:43
probably at the drive in. Yeah, we do have a drive in theater.

Scott Benner 1:01:47
Tootsie or something from the 80s or something like that? No, it

Robin 1:01:51
was I think it was actually. Pocahontas. That

Scott Benner 1:01:55
animated movie from the early 90s. Yep. Yep. So you took a kid to that? Yep. You don't like how about you watch TV? Do you like have a favorite like, TV show? I watched?

Robin 1:02:06
Yeah, like NCIS and bluebloods? I like those kind of movies. You're

Scott Benner 1:02:12
not they're not into something that's on Netflix or something like that, or? No, no, no. Okay. I'm trying to get that movie was 1995.

Robin 1:02:24
Now that was probably the last movie I watched. I mean, I may have watched a Western or something on TV with my husband, but I can't tell you the name of it. Probably some John Wayne

Scott Benner 1:02:32
flick, but close to 30 years. You haven't been like to a movie theater? Correct. Wow. I saw movie last week. I don't even know if it was good.

Robin 1:02:41
I just love the closest movie theaters an hour away. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:02:45
you're pretty far. In the middle of Michigan kind of feeling. I'm

Robin 1:02:51
in bfhi. I live. I live eight miles from Lake Michigan on the West Coast.

Scott Benner 1:02:57
Okay. I'm trying to figure out what BFA means. Oh, I can't say Oh, really? Hold on. I'll find out. Hold on, hold on. I'm looking. Okay.

Robin 1:03:12
I have stands for what you think.

Scott Benner 1:03:16
Fantastic. No, I'm gonna have to ask you and then beep it out. What does it mean?

Robin 1:03:23
I can't believe you never heard of BFP

Scott Benner 1:03:28
I didn't know that. I've heard that phrase. By the way. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't know it is an acronym.

Robin 1:03:34
There was an acronym.

Scott Benner 1:03:37
Ah, that's ridiculous. Alright, so you live in the middle of nowhere.

Robin 1:03:42
Yep, gotcha. gravel road. Nope.

Scott Benner 1:03:45
That's wait. That's why it's wild. Okay. Listen, Robin, I appreciate you coming on when you didn't want to.

Robin 1:03:53
And just not that I didn't want to it's, I didn't. Because I just hadn't thought about it. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:03:59
no, you just, I just found you to be I find you to be lovely. Online. And I just thought you'd make a great addition to the podcast. Really? Thank you. Yeah, represent.

Robin 1:04:10
I try I have to sometimes remind myself to be nice. But when people are like, my daughter's at 93, and she doesn't have her glucagon, it's like, oh, dear Lord. And

Scott Benner 1:04:22
I try my hardest to think that everybody's at a different part of the path and that they're theirs. Everyone has thought at some point oh, my God, a cookie just saved my life. And, and when you when you're first, you know, when you're first at it, you could feel like your life is being saved when your blood sugar's 95. And, and

Robin 1:04:45
I'm scary. I know. Sometimes. And I can't imagine being being a caregiver for for a toddler. They're just

Scott Benner 1:04:56
it's a lot of pressure. But I can tell you that much. I

Robin 1:04:59
can't even imagine. I cannot imagine. I read some of those possums like, Oh, poor parents. They're the warriors in my book. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:08
no, it's it's hard when they're really little not to just look at them when you put them to bed think like, just don't don't don't die. Like I'm, yeah, there

Robin 1:05:17
was somebody out there the other day that had a nine month old I think like, oh my god,

Scott Benner 1:05:23
yeah. Well what do you see that's a that's an amount of work that will take years to get through like that, like that part of their life is going to take years to get through. And it's going to feel so

Robin 1:05:35
many. Yeah, so many stages, you know, the growing and the puberty and all of it. I just, ya know. Thank goodness, it was me and not one of my, you know, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:48
no, it's crazy. And you don't. Did you have any viruses before you were diagnosed?

Robin 1:05:55
Oh, I started to say that. I think that before. I think in February, I actually had COVID. Oh, early on. Yep. Before it was, like a widely known thing. I really think I had COVID.

Scott Benner 1:06:10
Okay, then then that probably got your immune system going in the wrong direction.

Robin 1:06:16
Because I already had, you know, Hashimoto. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:06:20
yeah. You I mean, you obviously have autoimmune, like, you know, tendencies. So, yeah, that makes sense. I met somebody yesterday. Who's got long COVID. And, oh,

Robin 1:06:30
that's miserable. I've

Scott Benner 1:06:31
heard Yeah, he's he's pretty beaten up. We were talking about it for a little bit. But what's good?

Robin 1:06:40
What's the thing where we do our children and grandkids and they we do their blood and send it up? How come? I can't think of that right now?

Scott Benner 1:06:48
Try on that.

Robin 1:06:49
Thank you. Yes, my kids. My kids just did that.

Scott Benner 1:06:53
Oh, you haven't heard back yet? Oh, no. Did they? Did they come to you about that? Or is that something you asked them to do?

Robin 1:07:00
I asked them to do it. My my, one of my granddaughters is like me, our personalities are different. But she is me through and through and through. And I really wanted her tested. But I didn't want to single her out. Because she's old enough to know that, you know, so. They all did it. My son and his his kids. Oh, I

Scott Benner 1:07:23
said kind of made it feel like we're all doing this. It's not just because of we're worried about you. Right. Yeah. It's interesting. Well, I hope you get good news back, but I think it's a great. I think it's a great thing to do. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Good for you. All right. Robin, I appreciate you doing this very much. If you don't have anything else. I'm good. But if we miss something, please tell me. No.

Robin 1:07:46
I'm looking at my website. I'm good.

Scott Benner 1:07:49
I liked it. You made a list.

Robin 1:07:51
Well, I had to do a timeline because I wasn't gonna remember all that off the cuff.

Scott Benner 1:07:55
You did not strike me as a list person. When you said you had things written down. I was like, Oh, that's interesting. Appreciate you putting in the effort. Would you hold on for me for a moment? Sure. Cool. All right.

A huge thanks to Robin for coming on the show and sharing her story with me. I cannot believe you can freeze dry Skittles. Art and started using a contour meter because of its accuracy. But she continues to use it because it's adorable and trustworthy. If you have diabetes, you want the contour next gen blood glucose meter. There's already so many decisions. Let me take this one off your plate. Contour next one.com/juicebox A huge thanks to a longtime sponsor touched by type one, please check them out on Facebook, Instagram, and at touched by type one.org. If you're looking to support an organization that's supporting people with type one diabetes, check out touched by type one. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox Podcast private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, but everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes, and you're looking for support, comfort or community. Check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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#1088 Anonymous Guest

My anonymous female guest has type 1 diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android  -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 1088 of the Juicebox Podcast

my guest today has had type one diabetes for over 35 years and she wishes to remain anonymous. This is her story

please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin.

If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that it really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening

if you'd like to wear the same insulin pump that Arden does, all you have to do is go to Omni pod.com/juice box. That's it. Head over now and get started today. And you'll be wearing the same tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been wearing. Since she was four years old. Arden has been getting her diabetes supplies from us med for three years, you can as well, US med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 My thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode. And for being longtime sponsors of the Juicebox Podcast. There are links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors.

Anonymous Female Speaker 2:14
I have had type one diabetes for 35 years, actually a little over 35 years. I was diagnosed on August 24 1987. How do I know the exact date you might wonder I was diagnosed on my birthday?

Scott Benner 2:30
Hey, wow, that's terrific. How old were you that day? I was five. My god, that's terrible. All right, five years old and 87. And you've had diabetes for how long?

Anonymous Female Speaker 2:43
A little over 35 years.

Scott Benner 2:45
Wow. So you're 40 you were diagnosed on your fifth birthday, you said you had fragments of memories. Tell me what you remember.

Anonymous Female Speaker 2:54
Um, I remember being in the hospital. And I remember being scared. And I remember being calmed down by other kids who were racing in the hallway, on wheelchairs. And there happened to be an extra wheelchair. So I was able to join in there racing. I remember sharing a room with a screaming baby. And that being very additionally stressful. I remember my dad crying a lot. And my mom was away lecturing in another country. And so she wasn't there for the first few days. But I remember her coming. So I must have been in the hospital for a few days in order for her to to have a memory of her being there.

Scott Benner 3:44
Yeah. Did you have brothers and sisters at that point? Or do you know? No,

Anonymous Female Speaker 3:48
I'm an only child. Okay. My father is a type one. And my parents did get pregnant before me. And my mom had a miscarriage and it somehow I don't really know how being that it was my father's side. But it was somehow related to my father being a type one that the miscarriage I guess it just got blamed on him being like one that's interesting. My parents tried to adopt. I don't know what year this was. I just know it was years before I was born. Because my mother was a full time working woman who traveled a lot and because my father is a type one, they were denied adoption. And I was their miracle baby, I guess.

Scott Benner 4:39
Still are in 8787 you get denied and adoption for the husband being type one. That's interesting.

Anonymous Female Speaker 4:47
I was born in 82. So this was probably in the 70s. I see.

Scott Benner 4:52
Okay. You think Have you ever spoken to your father about him being upset that day? Oh, yeah.

Anonymous Female Speaker 5:00
My dad is actually a large part of my story, I guess. My father was diagnosed in 1969. He probably had type one for many years without knowing it. He grew up very poor in New York City, and he didn't get diagnosed until he got drafted. For Vietnam. He, apparently a lot of draft dodgers were adding sugar to their urine. So he had to get tested multiple times in front of a panel, making sure that he wasn't doing that. Oh, and that's how he got diagnosed. They're like, okay, so this is legit. And we're sorry to inform you. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:44
yeah. At least you don't have to go to Vietnam. But you got diabetes. What do you mean, you think you had it for a while? Do you think he was Lada?

Anonymous Female Speaker 5:51
I don't know. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:53
I mean, you can't have it too long. They'll kill you if you don't diagnose it. So like, he's got to have some help from his pancreas along the way. But was there stories that would indicate that he looked back and saw saw bits and pieces of it at times? Or no,

Anonymous Female Speaker 6:07
I think a lot of it was a blur for him. He remembers being very thirsty. And his favorite thing or drink was Coca Cola. So clearly, that would have made things worse. I imagine. Maybe he had a long honeymoon phase. That's crazy.

Scott Benner 6:25
And are you and he's similar in personality.

Anonymous Female Speaker 6:29
My father passed away in 2015. We do have had a lot in common. When I was I think I became an independent diabetic at a very young age because of him, which I think is both a good and a bad thing. As I grew up, I think that a lot of things that were normal for him were outdated for me. And perhaps my care would have been a lot better if I wasn't given like information that he was given, like, you know, you want to keep your blood sugar's under 220, if you can, was kind of like the norm throughout my life with him.

Scott Benner 7:18
How old was he when he passed? Early 60s was a complications from type one.

Anonymous Female Speaker 7:24
Yes, he started having very, very severe hypoglycemic episodes, he became severely hypo unaware, he would have seizures in the middle of the night, quite frequently. And we discovered that some of those features involve many strokes. So he developed dementia. And the last, I want to say five years of his life is spent in assisted living. I'm sorry.

Scott Benner 7:54
Yeah, that's terrible. How long did it take you to figure out that you shouldn't be managing your diabetes, like it was 1969. diabetes,

Anonymous Female Speaker 8:02
summer camp, probably was when those ideas were first introduced to me. My parents actually sent me to a diabetes summer camp, I believe, is in New Jersey, shortly after my diagnosis, but I don't remember much of it. I remember hating it, I think that I was too young for it. And we didn't try again until I was a teenager. And then it was, whoa, this is the best thing ever, you know, like, meeting other people like me?

Scott Benner 8:33
How old do you think you were when you went back the second time?

Anonymous Female Speaker 8:37
I want to say 13. Okay.

Scott Benner 8:40
And that was good for you to see other people.

Anonymous Female Speaker 8:43
Yeah, absolutely.

Scott Benner 8:46
What happens? Do you see people using technology that you don't have or dealing with things differently? And then it kind of dawns on you that there might be more than one way to do this?

Anonymous Female Speaker 8:58
I think normalizing it in general, like, I've always felt this sense of rejection and shame. And I like I always for as long as I can remember, tried to hide the fact that I was a type one. And being in an environment where basically everybody is doing the same things that you are, you know, I felt more out about it. If that makes sense.

Scott Benner 9:23
Yeah, it does. Hey, the shame makes sense, but rejection how

Anonymous Female Speaker 9:29
it's hard to describe. I always had my my diabetes. Like for as long as I can remember, I didn't, I couldn't test my blood sugar privately. I just wouldn't do it at all. This feeling of judgment, like my machine was done with me. You know, when I was first diagnosed, we didn't have glucometers actually, I mean, sure. That came about eventually, but you don't ketone strips. Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 9:59
how I used to tell strip logic, my opinion on something right?

Anonymous Female Speaker 10:03
Well, ketone strips like to test ketones, but we actually had something similar, but it was blood glucose strips that you would like match the color from the blood strip to the side of the bottle. Okay. And my dad and I, we thought we were so creative, or he did, would cut the strips in half. So we could save money and both use the same strip, and use less blood because these test strips required a drop of blood, like the size of a pencil eraser, you know, okay. And then we got our first glucometer, which actually use the same strips, I want to say it was an Accu check. And it was the same method, except instead of comparing the color to the side of the bottle, you put the strip in the machine, so we couldn't cut them anymore. Anyway, that was kind of a side story. I think once seeing actual numbers, was when I started to develop that feeling of rejection and judgment.

Scott Benner 11:00
I see. You know, you're not the first person to tell me they cut the strips in half. Oh, yeah, it's not. I know, you're probably like, This is crazy. But I'm like, No, I've heard that before. Okay. So when you see a number, and it feels like a grade, I'm guessing, and then you feel like you're failing?

Anonymous Female Speaker 11:21
Yeah. And then my parents started a star chart. I wasn't very good at getting stars. So I don't, I don't think that was very beneficial.

Scott Benner 11:33
Yeah, you got to make some of the stars easy to get, if you're gonna do that, as a parent, I said, there's a prototype for you make sure they get some don't just set up and go one day. Do you think that your personality leans in this direction? If you don't have diabetes are away from it.

Anonymous Female Speaker 11:50
I think one thing that I really struggle with is determining whether or not diabetes is the cause of it. I say, if, if this is just kind of like a natural behavior for me, and were like, you know, like, just put my mind does, or if diabetes somehow, like, triggered it. And I can't place like a defining moment. But I do also have ADD, and hypothyroid. And I've just recently learned about women with ADB, suffering from rejection sensitivity disorder. This is a very new term for me, I heard about it for the first time in an add support group online about a year ago. Just reading up on it, it's just like, it kind of sparked a lot of memories, which is part of the reason why I wrote to you about being on the podcast, was that this was a whole new thing for me like, oh, well, maybe this memory had something to do with RSD. And and how I reacted to that situation, you know,

Scott Benner 12:55
yeah, it's a break. I want to break this into chunks. Because I thought what you said a minute ago was really interesting. The idea that you don't, I'm changing your words, but you you aren't sure if you're the person you were meant to be? Or if you're this person, because you have diabetes, is that right? Yeah, you could put it that way. Yeah. And so would I be having these reactions or feelings if I didn't have type one? Oh, yeah. Is your is your thyroid well maintained?

Anonymous Female Speaker 13:28
Yeah, actually, that's been something that has been very level ever since I started Synthroid, as a child. My father took Synthroid

Scott Benner 13:35
as well. Yeah. What's your TSH?

Anonymous Female Speaker 13:39
I don't know that number off the top of my head, find out

Scott Benner 13:42
because I think at two or under is most beneficial. And a lot of doctors will tell you, Oh, it's four. It's terrific. It's in range. So look at that, because there can be anxiety, mood, there's a lot of stuff that can come from a higher TSH and an unbalanced thyroid, too. So that's worth looking at. Do you how's your energy? You have good energy? Are you tired a lot? I used to hate ordering my daughter's diabetes supplies. I never had a good experience. And it was frustrating. But it hasn't been that way for a while actually for about three years now. Because that's how long we've been using us med us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash. The number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, the number one rated distributor index com customer satisfaction surveys. They have served over 1 million people with diabetes since 1996. And they always provide 90 days worth of supplies. In fast and free shipping, US med carries everything from insulin pumps, and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGM like the libre three and Dexcom G seven. They accept from Medicare nationwide and over 800 private insurers find out why us med has an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau at us med.com/juice box or just call them at 888-721-1514 get started right now. And you'll be getting your supplies the same way we do.

Anonymous Female Speaker 15:36
My energy goes up and down throughout the day. I'm not a morning person. But once I'm up at going then I'm pretty good through the day. I remember my energy levels being very poor when I was younger, I think because my blood sugar's were very out of control. I did have a very unusual eating disorder when I when I was young. Again, kind of like going back on well is wasn't RSD like kind of affiliated to my eating disorder because unlike other eating disorders that I've heard about, like diet, bulimia, and things like that, my never really had anything to do with weight or weight loss, or intentional weight loss, I should say. Um,

Scott Benner 16:25
how did it how did it manifest? Just lemons. I'm just kidding. Well, what was it? I,

Anonymous Female Speaker 16:33
I was a binge eater. Specific to sugar. I don't know how it started. But it's goes as far back as I can remember, I think perhaps somewhat triggered by you know, you're not allowed to have sugar. So maybe it was a little bit of a rebellion. Sure. But I don't, I don't remember feeling rebellious. I could eat a whole pizza in one sitting. I would eat like a whole package of hotdogs, getting home from school. If I had the opportunity to go into a store and buy bags and bags of candy. I would just eat them all in one sitting. I remember like one of the worst of it was filling an ice cream cone with pure cane sugar and just looking the sugar out of the ice cream cone.

Scott Benner 17:20
Oh my gosh. That's it. Yeah, dedication. So

Anonymous Female Speaker 17:23
I began I would eat packages of waffles. And I never I wasn't believed it. I never threw up. I never. I never denied myself insulin. I you know, I always took my long acting. I always took my short acting. I never counted my carbs. I never did anything like that. I would just be like, Oh, I just I just ate a ton of sugar. So I'm gonna reg Bolus. You

Scott Benner 17:48
think this eating this eating you think was about proving that you can like Did somebody tell you not to eat these things? At some point? You're like, Yo, I'm going to

Anonymous Female Speaker 17:58
possibly, I don't know. But it was it was binging. It was really bad binging. And it wasn't until I was like a young teenager that I realized what how severe of a problem it was or actually even realized it was a problem at all, you know, because I wasn't overweight from it or anything. I was a subscriber to I think it was teen magazine. And there was an article about binge eating. And this girl was describing how she just couldn't stop eating when she was in. You know, like described her binges. And I just read the whole thing. And I'm like, That's me. I do that. Okay. And I went to school the next day, I was probably about 15 Because it was high school. And I was a freshman. Yeah. And I, I went to the school counselor with the article in hand. And I said, Hey, you know, I think I've got a really big problem here. This is me, like, I read this article, and this is me. And the counselor literally looked me up and down and said, No, it isn't you're not overweight. binge eaters are fat. That just went on from there. I was like, No, I took his answer as reality and like, okay, he's right. I don't have a problem. And I felt embarrassed, ashamed, rejected, for being wronged. And then I was institutionalized for it a year later.

Scott Benner 19:28
I have to tell you that the closest I've come to crying during a recording this week, is you saying that the counselor turned joy. I'm not kidding. I mean, to imagine the luck of a young person having an eating disorder, recognizing it through a magazine article, taking it to a trusted adult, and like, Hey, I figured out something wrong with me. I need help and they're like, shut up. That's not you know, it's really heartbreaking. I mean, genuinely, I'm, I'm so sorry. I've been wrestling with this thought for a few days now about how much how much in the world goes unsolved. Or how many things go off the rails needlessly because people who don't know, are not, don't don't check themselves there, they feel completely comfortable saying the first thing that comes to their head, and not knowing, and, and how that derails people constantly, or derails, you know, entire movements, you know, things that people say that they want to. They think they're being inspiring, or they think that they're, you know, knowledgeable and they're wrong. And then something like this happens. And I don't know, it felt so personal to me that, that that time got wasted for you, and that you got lucky enough to trick into an answer. And then, you know, you were that close to being helped. And, and then would you say a year later, you ended up in an institution over it?

Anonymous Female Speaker 21:05
Yeah. So I was having like, week, eight episodes, I guess, but I didn't recognize them. I was just like, oh, I ate too much. I don't feel good. But again, like I never heard, or, I later found out when I was in the hospital that my my form of purging was elevated blood sugars. But it wasn't intentional. But that that's why I wasn't gaining weight from all that food

Scott Benner 21:33
I was eating. Yeah, sure. And yeah, that's what I was, I was waiting for you to say that. But right, your blood sugar was so high, your body couldn't even hold on to fat. So

Anonymous Female Speaker 21:41
there was, I was seeing a therapist. And I don't even know, where my parents were through all this really, I mean, my mom did travel a lot for work. Maybe I was just, I guess I was just really good at hiding it. And my parents really put a lot of independence on me, you know, so there wasn't a lot of checks and balances there. So I certainly don't put any blame on their parents to keep clear. But I went to a therapist appointment and, and I started throwing up bile in the middle of the appointment. And the therapist was like, Okay, there's something wrong. And I feel like this is a cry for help. And we're taking him to a hospital right now. And it wasn't like an ER, it was like an inpatient like, mental mental institution. And they brought me to the eating disorder unit. And I was there for two days. And apparently, because I had an over eating disorder without purging, which is something that they really had no experience with. It was having a negative effect on the other patients in the unit. So they moved me to the juvenile mental unit, I suppose you'd call it. It was like Girl Interrupted, no joke. Probably the most horrible experience of my life being being there. And my my eating disorder wasn't really addressed. It was more ignored. All of the other kids on the unit, went on field trips to the candy machines and the soda machines, and I was not allowed to go I was the only one left behind. And then I did something that was probably like, to this day, I regret more than anything I've ever done. I gave a girl lancets in exchange for her bringing me back food from the candy machines. Because she was a cutter. Oh,

Scott Benner 23:40
wow. That's some black market trading right there.

Anonymous Female Speaker 23:44
Yeah, that's how bad it was.

Scott Benner 23:47
Did you do you remember having the thought like, I'm gonna let this girl cut herself so I can get food.

Anonymous Female Speaker 23:55
I reported like as at right after she gave me the food. I reported her for having sharps.

Scott Benner 24:03
like, look, I gotta get these m&m somehow. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna say Don't worry. I'll save you right after. My gosh. That's, that's intense. Like really, really? Like that's an intense decision. How old were you then? 16 Wow, that's something else. How long did you end up being there in total?

Anonymous Female Speaker 24:26
It's so erased from my mind that I really not sure. I could say like, three four weeks. And it could have been a week but felt like that. Right? But I think maybe six weeks because I do remember halfway through being allowed to go home for a day. And then coming back. Yeah. It was a really weird experience because like, some of the people in the unit were hard to handle I mean, like, you know, like strapped to beds once in a while, like There was actually one moment. A one night I remember that worked for teenagers. It was co Ed, it kind of felt like summer camp when you're having a good day, if that makes sense. My roommate and I like we snuck out to like, hang out with a couple boys. You know, and we got caught. She got strapped to a bed and rolled away. I don't know what happened to the guys. And I was thrown in a room stripped of my clothes completely naked, like in like locked in this room. With nothing like not even a mattress. It's just a cold floor. And I just like thinking about it right now. I'm like shaking. Like I can't believe that. It's something that happened to me like, I am a normal person, you know? And that is a story that is in my past. Like, how is that possible?

Scott Benner 25:48
Right? I had an eating disorder and you end up in that situation? Geez, oh, what does that add? 97. Cohen, is that in the early 2000s?

Anonymous Female Speaker 26:02
I want to say late 90s. Okay, yeah, it must it must have been like 9796 97.

Scott Benner 26:09
Okay, geez, the hell he is. Sometimes you hear people's stories, you're like I expected more from the world, like, you know, I guess not. But, Jesus? Well, that'll keep you from getting involved with any kind of like system again, I imagine you'll avoid, like the plague. Where your parents in contact with you during those six weeks. In 2015, I needed support to start making this podcast and Omni pod was there. They bought my first ad, in a year when the entire podcast got as many downloads, as it probably got today, on the pod was there to support the show. And they have been every year for nine seasons. I want to thank them very much. And I want to ask you to check them out at Omni pod.com/juicebox.

Anonymous Female Speaker 27:01
I was like family therapy sessions. I don't really remember much. I remember my dad. I mean, like he definitely felt self loathing. I mean, even before any of this happened, you know, this is my fault. This has happened to me, too. This is my fault that you have this condition, you know, oh, I didn't you know, I think at the time, there wasn't really a genetic link. But I mean, both my parents were doctors. So if any, anybody knew it would be my dad, but he was still convinced. He was like, No, this is my fault.

Scott Benner 27:39
It's such a strange thing, isn't it to think that. Because if your dad had blue eyes, and you had blue eyes, he wouldn't be like, well, that's my fault. You know, or my doing? He didn't give you blue eyes. But it is weird how people think about stuff like that. But I understand it. And I mean, it's been obvious since the beginning of your story. He's, he's crying in the hospital, in my mind, he's going over, oh, I have diabetes. I did this. You know, like, that's, I'm assuming his his pathway of thought. Which is, I mean, has to be really difficult to deal with. I would imagine, you know, for from his perspective. And then it's probably hard to see things even more so going wrong for you. Because then you think, oh, again, here we are the thing I gave her. And this is her struggle. Did Yeah. Do you feel a moment where like this sort of drama, like it's gone from your life? Or do you? Does it stick with you constantly? Are you able to move past some of these things? How does how does all that work?

Anonymous Female Speaker 28:46
The whole hospitalization part of my life is kind of like almost not a memory anymore. I really just kind of started thinking about it again, because I thought it was relevant to my story to just speak with you today. Okay. But I mean, it has it has had an effect on me. But I'm almost in denial that it ever happened. Like it just seems so unreal.

Scott Benner 29:14
Something you just don't think about anymore. It just is part of the past. Are you fine I remember

Anonymous Female Speaker 29:17
like how they manage my diabetes to when I was in the hospital just seemed so archaic as well, you know, like I had gone back into time machine again and you know, they would prick my finger with this javelin and wipe it again with alcohol afterwards. And I thought that that was so strange and they wouldn't you know, actually push it for more blood until the alcohol itself was dry and off more often than not, you know, the wound close up. She's just kind of so weird.

Scott Benner 29:55
How did you learn about the rejection sensitive Have you dysphoria, that's just in the last year for you.

Anonymous Female Speaker 30:03
I learned about it in a Facebook support group for women with ADD. Some people were, you know, like, we're saying, Oh, is this, you know, am I being unreasonable with this situation? Or is my RSP acting up again? And, you know, I commented on a couple of those posts, and what is this RSD that everybody keeps talking about? And they, you know, told me what the acronym was for. And I started doing some research on it. And I was like, hmm, that definitely sounds like something that I'm afflicted with, you know, I talked to my PCP about it, and she had never heard of it. So apparently, it doesn't exist. But I think that it is something that's so new that it is still questionable whether or not it is a diagnosable thing, right? It's still up in the air.

Scott Benner 30:51
But if you're having the feeling, I mean, does it match the description? I'm seeing online extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected? Or criticized? No. Is that Yeah, so yeah,

Anonymous Female Speaker 31:05
I mean, it can be? What's the word I'm looking for? Like disabling? Yeah. I mean, sometimes, there are things that I will not do because of that fear of what somebody will think of me? Do

Scott Benner 31:19
they have to say it? Or do Can you just infer from them that they're unhappy or dissatisfied, and it'll hit you that?

Anonymous Female Speaker 31:28
Sometimes, it's actually something that hits me hard is when somebody does say it. And that's okay, that was hurtful. But because somebody actually did say it, in my mind, everybody is thinking it. Oh,

Scott Benner 31:42
I see. Okay. And then that I had, like,

Anonymous Female Speaker 31:47
a good friend say to me to ones, you know, if it was her words, if you had more respect for your diabetes, other people would have more respect for you. And it hurt it, it hurts so bad, because I was there. I didn't know what it meant. And I'm pick apart all the possibilities of what it could mean. And I wrote like, a really nice paragraph, because this was through messenger. About, you know, I don't really know what you meant by this. I just want you didn't. Could you please, you know, elaborate a little bit more on what you meant by that. And she said, you know exactly what I mean, I don't need to explain myself to you. This is not a conversation I want to have. Did she start when she started? If not, we're not friends anymore.

Scott Benner 32:44
I was gonna say what stops you from going, Oh, this is whole, and then I'm done with it. To break it down. You sound like you manage your, your disease as well. Like, it's not like you're not being respectful of it like, this is her projecting something she's thinking on to you. But then you're you're, you're absorbing it instead of just going that's not right. Because you didn't think it was right, because you responded to her and said, Hey, I don't I don't think I'm doing that. What are you talking about? And I don't know why. What stops you? I mean, I'm sure you've thought about this and don't have an answer, but like, What stops you from not just disregarding there were

Anonymous Female Speaker 33:20
others? I think that was the most hurtful part of that statement was others would respect you. Because she wasn't just speaking for herself when she added that word.

Scott Benner 33:32
Oh, like there's a cabal of people who don't respect you somewhere. Yeah,

Anonymous Female Speaker 33:36
like we have a lot of mutual friends. And now I'm, you know, I just have this in my head. I everybody is thinking this about me, everybody, whatever it is that she's thinking about me and they're all thinking about me now. Oh,

Scott Benner 33:47
I see. Do you really believe that's true? A

Anonymous Female Speaker 33:52
little bit. She and quite a few of our mutual friends. Were there for me when I started having my severe retinopathy issues. But they never really gave me the opportunity to explain how it happened. And how it happened. Scott was not I mean, I can say that was probably a repercussions from my days over eating. How it actually happened happened was when I started on ducks calm. I started on the G four when it first came out. A friend of mine from diabetes summer camp that I'm friends with on Facebook had gotten it and that she knew quite a bit about my history. And she was telling me about it on Facebook. And she said, Yeah, you really want to look into this Dexcom and it's life changing. Like you can see what your blood sugar is every five minutes. And you know, at this time, I was still struggling to test myself and it wasn't just about seeing the number on the meter and the meter judging me. Just a myriad of reasons that I just wasn't testing And but I was totally open to this idea of having a discreet little box in my in my purse that I could pull out once in a while and be like, Oh, wow, check that up. Yeah. So I'm not making a show of it and, and the information is just mine. And so I got it. And I brought it. Interesting story was I brought the receiver to the hospital, my next CD appointment, and I handed it to her and she's like, I've never seen one of these before. I don't think I have the cords are the software to download information. And I was like, really? Apparently, I was the first one at my hospital to get one because I went out on my own to do it. Yeah. And they're a Medtronic sponsored hospital. Not anymore. They've got tons of patients on Dexcom. Now, yeah, my bad. But knowing those numbers and having the frequency of seeing like what food is doing to me, I started injecting more, I started correcting more. And my agency was dropping so fast. I like I, before I started Dexcom, I was little over a 10 I was down to a 7.5. In less than three months. I was walking down the street one day and just look like looking through a red lava lamp. There's dreams of blood and my vision. And I don't know what's happening. And the general consensus of everything that I went through, and the people that helped me behind my back, if she had taken better care of herself. This is her fault. And the very few people that I've shared with that, you know, I said, actually, this happened to me because I dropped my agency too fast. This happened to me because I got in tighter control and got better, too quickly. Yeah.

Scott Benner 36:57
Nobody told you that, that you should have done it slower. That's really Yeah.

Anonymous Female Speaker 37:02
And I don't know that it was even really known that. Because my endocrinologist was so proud. My CDE was so proud. And then I go see a retinal surgeon. And he and use. I've been seeing so much of this with this new technology.

Scott Benner 37:21
Did they were they able to fix it? I mean, you got some bleeders, obviously, but is that under control? Now? I

Anonymous Female Speaker 37:26
had a vitrectomy in each eye. And it's been stable for six years. Oh, good

Scott Benner 37:33
for you. Yeah, I, it's funny that as you're telling your story, the people who if there are people out there judging you those who would do that, obviously the first of all, they don't have anywhere near all the information. They don't understand the history of it, or you know what it was like to manage in the 60s, which would have informed your father who would have informed you. Sounds like your mom traveled a lot your dad was around. You're young, you alluded to something earlier, you never got back to it. But you said that you were given your kind of autonomy early and it was good and bad. And what I took from that was the good part was you knew how to do the things. But the bad part was you were a little kid in charge of a really difficult disease. And yeah, and you don't how are you really going to see big picture stuff and make decisions and adjustments. There's no way for a kid to do that.

Anonymous Female Speaker 38:29
And those people, my parents wanted to give me that independence. I just went in the wrong direction. Well,

Scott Benner 38:35
I mean, that's, uh, I appreciate you feeling that way. But like, from an outsider's perspective, I don't know, what else would you expect to happen to, you know, for a little kid to be like, I mean, name another thing, you'd put a little kid in charge of? You know what I mean? Would you be in charge of like paying the electric bill? Probably not. You know, like, you have to, I don't know, pressure wash the house every spring? I'm not putting an eight year old in charge of that. But diabetes? Yeah, sure. They could do that. But it's a very, I mean, we talked about it now because we know better. And we see, you know, data, but children with diabetes benefit from their parents involvement into their early to mid 20s. And that's not something that you got, you know, and it's not like, it's like you said, it's not like somebody's fault. It's not like your parents were like, malicious. They just they were doing the 70s thing like she you know, this is her thing, and she'll need to know how to do it. So let's get her out in front of it now and teach her what to do, except there were so much more to do that nobody knew about.

Anonymous Female Speaker 39:39
And I think also that that there was a much higher fear of hypoglycemia than hyperglycemia. Yeah, for my dad for both my dad's generation and a little bit in mind too. Especially when my dad started being like hypo autoware sometimes got violent. Yeah.

Scott Benner 39:59
All right, and I see you're trying to avoid that you're trying to avoid passing out you're trying to avoid having a seizure. And, and maybe that was the right thing to do with the time. It's the carryover. That's always the problem. Like when we leave one generation of care and go into another one, it's the carryover that hurts. Like I get, I get that your dad spheres were, what they were based on the technology and the insulin, but then there's something better available, and you're still playing by the old rules. That's, that's where the, the sense of loss comes from. Like, there's, there's because you exist in a time where you were doing a thing, and there was a better thing. And that, that that's where that terrible feeling comes from, like your dad's fate was of the time he was born no different than if I don't know, people used to have babies. And like, you know, they'd have 10 babies to get three of them to live. Nobody felt bad about that at the time, because that's how it worked. So you're like, oh, it's sad. But this is how it works. And you know, people get diabetes in the 60s, and they don't live very long. And that's sad. But this is how it works. It's, it's when I hear the stories of the carryover people like women who were told, there's a woman on here once, I think she was diagnosed in college, and her doctor told her to quit college, and go home and enjoy her life, because she'd never have a job long enough for it to matter. And a man wouldn't want her. Like that happened. Not that long ago. It's crazy.

Anonymous Female Speaker 41:33
I actually had a doctor say something similar to me. But it was after my my retinopathy and my vision was still very, very bad. I was and I am single, I live alone. And she told me that I should quit my job so I could get on disability. So I wouldn't have to worry about being able to afford like, Dexcom my insulin pump and my insulin. I

Scott Benner 42:01
spoke to a woman yesterday who got divorced to get health care. And, you know, you know what, it led to an actual divorce. Like they were they were a happy family who split up so that they could qualify for health care. And then, you know, they actually split up later. Yeah,

Anonymous Female Speaker 42:20
I actually, I did go on disability. I followed her advice, and I was on disability for two years. Then I found a job that was able to accommodate me and, and I do I do have vision loss. And then it turned out I was making too much money. And now I'm being sued by Social Security for like $15,000. Fine.

Scott Benner 42:42
Yes. You must have had some wacky essay when CS when you were a little huh. With the with the eating disorder, and the DK that you didn't know was happening. You must have been in the 13. It's like up there.

Anonymous Female Speaker 42:56
I wouldn't be surprised. I do think that there was a little bit of enabling when I first went to do some

Scott Benner 43:04
broke up. Hold on a second.

Anonymous Female Speaker 43:07
Sorry, it year. Hey, I'm sorry. You broke up. Comparing a one season I was. I'm sorry.

Scott Benner 43:13
You broke up a little bit of enabling. Can you do that part? Again?

Anonymous Female Speaker 43:17
A little bit of enabling at diabetes summer camp, talking to you know, comparing ANC. See, between 11 and 14 and thinking well, mines finds only in the high 10s. So if they're fine, and they're higher than me, I'm fine.

Scott Benner 43:38
Killing it. Yeah, look at me. beaten them by a whole point. Yeah, you know, it's funny. I've heard old timey diabetes camp stories. And I've heard as many that are like, I found people there. And I learned how to do things. As I've heard stories are like, oh, you know, right. That's where I learned to be diabetic. Because people people told me how to cut their my insulin to lose weight there. And that's where I learned how to do this. I'm like, Oh, geez. So I mean, there's this there's going to be an element of humanity everywhere. And sometimes it's this dumb luck is who you bumped into, like imagine had you gone to a counselor who didn't think oh, you eating disorder has to mean overweight? You you would have been better off in that situation. Yeah, hopefully, you know, but I don't Oh my gosh, really is crazy. Do you think there's a way to? I mean, have you left it all behind you or does it still color your existence today? Everything that happened?

Anonymous Female Speaker 44:38
I think it does color my existence in a different way. I mean, I've never actually let go of engine it for a while it was replaced with alcohol. The calories from the food I used to binge, but with less of an effect on my blood. Sugar. So I did go through. It was It wasn't terrible. It wasn't terrible, but it became a problem. actually kind of a side story to that was when I recognized that I had an alcohol problem. It was when I would get withdrawal symptoms from not drinking. So I went to the hospital and you know, decided I needed a, what do you call it like a medically guided detox, okay. And I went to the ER for it and waited in the waiting room for probably over 12 hours, and I was shaking. When they finally took me in and said, we don't do detox from alcohol here. There's nothing we can do for you. So that, you know, they gave me some fluids and I I overdosed on insulin on purpose to make them take me in. And so I was admitted. And I told my I did the detox there. And I was there for about a week, my endocrinologist came to visit me and my CDE came to visit me and a PCP came to visit me. I told them all what I did, I told them, I said, I took a shot of fast acting insulin to get admitted. And they said, good for you. You need it though. So I feel like again, like this is kind of a reoccurring thing in my life. I recognize I have a problem. I go get help. And I get turned away. Yeah,

Scott Benner 46:34
binging is like, like, I think binging is like good indication of depression or anxiety. And it doesn't it shouldn't matter what you're binging honestly. Like it just yeah, that doesn't that part doesn't make sense that, like, why does it matter? Like what it is? And how come they could take you if you were dying, but not take you because of an alcohol thing? And yeah, cheese?

Anonymous Female Speaker 47:00
And I've been I've been able to manage the binge drinking. Ever since you know, all I needed was that detox? And then I've been fine. Was it?

Scott Benner 47:12
Is it alcoholism? Or is it just wanting to take something in in great quantity?

Anonymous Female Speaker 47:17
A second? Yeah, I believe.

Scott Benner 47:21
It's interesting. Have you spoken to a therapist about that ever?

Anonymous Female Speaker 47:23
I've had a really hard time finding a therapist, and I'm not quite sure if I, if I'm ready to do like an online therapy. But there is very little available. I tried a couple of them. The last one I tried, you know, one was probably two years ago. And she said, Oh, your father passed have type one diabetes, you have type one diabetes, it must be so hard for you to know that you're going to die young, of the same thing your dad died of. And I was like, Okay, I'm not coming back here.

Scott Benner 47:58
For people who don't understand. What backwards part of the country do you live? Oh, my gosh, you know, what's interesting about about mental health and therapy is I was approached by an online therapy company about doing advertisements for them. And I thought, well, that might be helpful for people. Let me kind of just get an idea. I went into my Facebook group, so many people, and then I'm like, would you guys want me to do this? You know, it would come with, like, you'd save 10% when you signed up and stuff like that? And like, you know, would that be something you were interested in? The amount of people who are like, Oh, my God, please do that. That would be terrific. I'm going to do that. Thanks, like, overwhelming response, like, callin an overwhelming response. So I'm like, alright, I'll do this. So I go back to the company, I'll say, Yeah, sure. I'll do it. Like, they set me up with a link. And I put it out there. And two people have signed up. And I think it really has taught me the difference between saying, Yeah, you know, I probably should go to therapy, and actually being able to do it. Like, like, make yourself like, do it, that it's an expanse between those two situations, because I can't tell you how many hundreds of people were like, please do that. As soon as you put this link here, I will be clicking on it. And then everybody, nobody touched it. So it's not an easy thing to get involved in. You know, like, I understand why it's a leap. And then if you make the leap, and you get there and somebody so holy doesn't understand the thing you're talking about, Well, geez, like, you know, what do you suppose to do? Your dad died of it, so you're gonna die of it. Great. Thanks. And then what do you do you find yourself in the position of educating the therapist.

Anonymous Female Speaker 49:43
Yeah, you know, paying for it, paying,

Scott Benner 49:46
paying to catch them up. Great. Let me do a trailer about diabetes for you. You charge me $40 While we're doing terrific, and therapy is not covered by a lot of people's insurance. A lot of out of pocket cost. So you want to you want to have a decent experience when you start? Oh my gosh, all right, well, what's the answer? Like? Like, I mean, you're 40 years old. So you've been through all of this, like, what's your wisdom on it?

Anonymous Female Speaker 50:18
I think that I'm kind of being my own therapist in a way, you know, doing research on, you know, the rejection sensitive dysphoria. And something I read in an article about RSD is like, Sure, there's no treatment for it. But it can be, you can overcome it by defining why it's happening. Like, oh, I don't just, you know, I'm not just having a panic attack out of nowhere, right now. Take a breath and realize why you're having it, what's triggering it? And that's been helpful for me. Just another thing that's

Scott Benner 50:54
maybe giving him

Anonymous Female Speaker 50:56
Yeah, yeah. It's also been a little helpful for me to, you know, since having our Dexcom and Omni pod and having a history of constantly hiding it, and not letting anybody know, being more expressive about it. Like I try to, I try to put my placement now in spots where people will see it and asked me about it. And that's been mentally, life changing for me.

Scott Benner 51:28
Yeah, that's excellent. I'm a proponent of loud and proud on diabetes, like, just, you know, and if you have to start small with just peeking out of your arm, you know, your sleeve or something like that, then right on, but it's just, it's too big of a part of your life, it's too important to your health, to hide, because the hiding lends you to say things like, Well, I'm not going to test right now. Because somebody's going to see, or I'm not going to help myself right now. Because I don't want people to know or, like, that's just dangerous physically. And psychologically. I think you kind of, I understand if you don't want to, for people to know, but I just think long term, it's a, it's a benefit. If you if you're open about it. Also, the openness is never hardly what you think, you know, I mean, like, it sucks that you met people who were like, you know, gave you crap who you thought were friends, but is it not better not to have those people's friends? Like, at least, you know, right, that their heads? Like, you know, I mean, have you met other people who don't care that you have diabetes and don't have big opinions about things they don't understand? Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's a everything's just such a process. You know, that's the part that

Anonymous Female Speaker 52:42
I can't believe it's about 20 years ago now. I've met a lot of type ones in my town. Have you? That's excellent. Yeah. And I was surprised.

Scott Benner 52:54
There you are. I see you people. I think it's terrific. I mean, Arden I think Arden's only friend with type one is somebody she's, she's very close with, who's a friend she met online, but they've never actually met in person. But they talk and you know, they're very close. They're both in college now. And it and I think it's been beneficial for both of them to know each other. It just really has been, you know, I think they met because I think the girl tried to follow me on Instagram and follow Arden by mistake. And that's how that's how they how they ended up meeting each other. So that just can't be said enough. That you need to be able to see yourself in the world around you. It's important. You know,

Anonymous Female Speaker 53:40
I first my first friend in this town, that was a type one had the same eye surgeon as I did. And so she went through it all before I did and was very supportive of that. And I was having a follow up I exam. And she was on Facebook, and she had just had a double organ transplant. She had a kidney, pancreas transplant. And I saw that she was active on Facebook and I said, Hey, you want to you want to visit her? Because I'm in the hospital for an eye exam. And she's like, Yeah, sure. So I went up to her floor and the nurse said she just had a double transplant yesterday. She's exhausted. She can't have any visitors. And I was like, Well, I have it on good authority that she's sitting up in bed on her phone on Facebook right now. Are you sure?

Scott Benner 54:33
So I need so let's go.

Anonymous Female Speaker 54:37
So the nurse checked in on her and let me in. And she interest. She was awake and talking to me and I it was so important to me to see her because I had such a huge question. And my question to her was, do you feel low? Because I'm thinking wow, yesterday you were a type one diabetic and today you're not You know,

Scott Benner 55:01
oh, and does the 85 blood sugar feel low to you? Yeah, but it

Anonymous Female Speaker 55:06
doesn't like and you have a pancreas that's doing it for you like my, I don't know in my mind I thought it's actually feels low

Scott Benner 55:15
gotta be dizzy this girl but no right like it's it's the action it's the action of the insulin that gives you that feeling like the fall like you ever hear people say you can I can feel the fall. And yeah, I can relate to that. Yeah, it's because that the insulin is moving your blood sugar in a way that you know it's not natural and completely natural to so it's something you can feel oh, that's really interesting you still friends? Yeah,

Anonymous Female Speaker 55:41
yeah, that's cool that she doesn't have the pancreas anymore and she did have to get a another kidney but otherwise she's doing great.

Scott Benner 55:49
That's cool yeah sometimes the organs don't make it I interviewed somebody recently who had to go through a couple before the one they have now that seems to be you know holding on so really weird world how long did she not have diabetes for?

Anonymous Female Speaker 56:05
I think it was almost a year.

Scott Benner 56:08
Oh my gosh, that's it seems like I can't tell if that's bad or not like me like if getting the year off is terrific. And just I'll take it or if it's such a letdown when it when you see your blood sugar start creeping up again, like, oh, geez,

Anonymous Female Speaker 56:22
I've heard the pancreas is such a hard one to keep though.

Scott Benner 56:27
Yeah, though, it can be for sure. I mean, organs in general, I like I said, I was interviewing a guy who's had a number of transplants. And he got like eight years out of one and he was thrilled about it.

Anonymous Female Speaker 56:37
Nice. Yeah. So anyway,

Scott Benner 56:40
is there anything that we haven't talked about that we should have something I didn't bring up or something you meant to say that hasn't gotten said? Sure. I

Anonymous Female Speaker 56:46
think I wanted to talk about my mom a little bit. But

Scott Benner 56:50
weekend. Don't worry. I just that's why I wanted to bring it up. So let me ask you before we start, are you less nervous than you were an hour ago? Yeah. There's a moment when you started cruising. And I was like, Oh, she's okay now. And

Anonymous Female Speaker 57:04
I think that at some points, like my ADD kicks in and I kind of go off topic. And then I'm like, where was I again? Okay, but then

Scott Benner 57:11
I haven't noticed you go off topic once.

Anonymous Female Speaker 57:14
Oh, really? I felt like I did a lot. No, I

Scott Benner 57:18
thought you were very clear and linear. And I didn't. I mean, if you listen to the podcast, like I didn't do the I didn't do the pulp fiction thing to you too much. I didn't go back in time, and then come back up here to the President and go back again, which I liked doing. I didn't do that as much with you. But I still thought you were. I never felt like oh, what is she talking about? Like, I never had that feeling one time. So maybe you're being hard on yourself?

Unknown Speaker 57:44
I often am.

Scott Benner 57:46
Yeah, I didn't have a thought like that at all. Alright, so what about your mom? When

Anonymous Female Speaker 57:52
I was nine, we we moved. And I had my first seizure that I remember, in the middle of the night. We had just gotten a puppy. My puppy woke my parents up. And I slept walked, I guess into the hallway right outside my parents.

Scott Benner 58:17
Outside your parents. Sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. I lost you outside your parents outside your parents room? Yep. Yeah.

Anonymous Female Speaker 58:25
And my mom called 911. And can you guess what happened?

Scott Benner 58:36
The dog can play that the little girl that got her is broken. No,

Anonymous Female Speaker 58:39
my mom called 911 and got the DDD. This number does not exist in your area. Really? Yeah. So this was in 1991. And 911 was not something that existed everywhere. And I know that's hard to believe, right? Yeah. So my mom got a an operator who got her to emergency dispatch. And I came to surrounded by firemen in full gear, because they didn't know that what they were responding to. They were all volunteers. I guess they gave me some dextrose brought me to the hospital. But my mom was so impressed by what happened she she joined the fire department.

Scott Benner 59:31
Yeah, that's that's incredible. Also, and you're good I was just gonna say is not off topic, but you're reminding me that we all used to have stickers on our telephones with the phone numbers for the police the fire in the ambulance. Yeah, because there was no 911 there these little square like two inch thicker square and they had the three numbers on them. You stuck them to your phone. So you had the huh you reminded me something I'd forgotten about how about that. How Yeah. And then your mom just like, let's was your I was gonna say we should mom looking to hook up with a fireman but he she was married so that's inappropriate. But what happened? She became a volunteer fireman.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:13
Um, she became a paramedic. Yeah. She's about to retire his doctor and see, she's a forensic pathologist, I should say. And she joined the volunteer fire department, and I went to college in 2001. And in September of 2001, my mom was missing in New York City. Wait, how? He wasn't a New York City Department, but she was in New York City. She just jumped into action on 911.

Scott Benner 1:00:44
Oh, my gosh. So she was in the area. Yeah.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:00:48
And the fire department she belonged to did go there. I mean, it was in. But they were in the center of it. When it happened. They went to help in the aftermath. But my mom happened to be there on 911. She just kind of jumped into action. And my dad and I didn't hear from her for about a week. She's fine now.

Scott Benner 1:01:10
Oh, a week. She was just received like her, or was she just working?

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:01:16
She was just working. But also all the phones were down. Yeah, no, I remember. So she was trying to get in touch with my dad and I and my dad was stuck on. I want to say the Washington Bridge for hours. So I didn't hear from him for a while. My dad was a professor at the College, Mount St. Vincent. So he was stuck getting out of the city. So you know, both my parents were kind of MIA for about 24 hours. And then then it was just my mom that was missing. And you know, it was September you don't didn't really have many friends yet. Being a freshman in college. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:01:51
my God. Yeah, you're just by yourself at school. While this is all happening. It's very frightening for people who didn't live through it as an adult like we lived in. Well, in central New Jersey when it happened. My wife was working in man, Hatton for years before that, but had just very recently moved to Jersey City to her building got moved to Jersey City. And people's cell phones, like we didn't used to leave our cell phones on all the time off. That's something people know or not because the batteries would die. So yeah, you turn them on to make a call. And you know, now plugging your phone in and charging it as a part of everyday life. But back then, yeah, you wouldn't do that all the time. So my, my wife is calling me, you know, to say, they're evacuating my building. And we're being pushed on foot into, like past the past the highway. They're just making them walk West, basically, away from the city. And later, she found out it's because they used her building as a morgue. And, yeah, they were they were ferrying bodies to her building, which was right on the water. And then just doctors who happen to work in the buildings around were triaging people and stacking, stacking bodies up. But the people they pushed out of the building, they just, they just basically pointed and they were like walk and the cops just pushed you. They just kept pushing them away. So my wife and a girl she worked with, made their way to the girl's car that was parked in a lot somewhere. And they just finally made their way out and got on the Jersey Turnpike, and headed south because she was trying to get my wife home. So I had to call a family member because Cole was a baby. And I basically it just was like, I met my father and on the side of the road. And I was like, here's his bottles. Here's his formula. I put his car seat, my father in law's truck, and I was like, I'm going to go find Kelly. And then I just headed north. But we couldn't, we weren't in contact. So we would pick up the phone at certain intervals and kind of report where we were. And like no lie like we saw each other. We worked it out so we could see each other on opposite sides of the turnpike. And then I just found a place to cross over and I crossed over and grabbed her. I think that whole process of driving what would have been a 45 minute ride an hour ride in a normal day. And then getting her back again. I was gone for about nine hours trying to get her out of the city. Like it was it was really something and then her friend didn't get home till well after midnight after that. It's just a crazy time and you're sitting in college and nobody can find your mom or your dad. Yeah, that's terrible.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:04:35
Yeah, my dad and I spoke every every night. Remember the first night that we got in touch with each other? We ended the call and then he called me right back and you said you didn't say I love you. And I was like dad, you know I love you. And he's like, Yeah, but you didn't say it. And I think from you know with your mom missing from now on like we need to say it before we say goodbye like every time we speak on the phone, and that became our thing. And then up until he died that was always or never ended a conversation without saying I love you.

Scott Benner 1:05:06
That's a That's lovely. Really very, very lovely. I can tell you that the Manhattan is from my house, I don't know how many miles I can actually figure it out. But you could walk out of the back door of my house. And just smoke was just rising up in the air for days. And I'm, I'm a good hour and I don't know, 15 minutes from the from the city by car. I'm actually looking at it right now I am. I'm 46 miles away. And I could step outside of my house and look up and see smoke. Like it was next to me it felt like, really, really insane. So well, let's say you and your father had this nice thing, right? He said, I love you every time. And did you ever have the feeling that the therapist tried to give you the I'm gonna die early?

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:06:05
Oh, I've thought about it. I think maybe I thought about that even before she said it. But it was, you know, it still wasn't her place to say so I still upset with her for saying it, even if I already thought it.

Scott Benner 1:06:18
Yeah, it's also not accurate. But another thing that my father,

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:06:21
you know, would say a lot throughout my childhood was You're so lucky, your generation is going to see a cure, you're going to be cured. And I think that that also had a little bit of a detrimental part to my self care. Yeah. Like, oh, I can treat my body like crap. Now because I will be cured in the future. Yeah, I believed him. You know, it was my dad, I believe them. Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 1:06:49
a misstep. I understand wanting to say it, but you can't put that in someone's head. Because, like I understand they somebody wants to say that because of a hopeful thing. But I think the very problem you just described as the concern. You know, what if I that makes people think well, then I don't have to take this very seriously, because I won't be here forever. And that yeah, that's tough. No, I'm sorry.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:07:11
And my I mean, my my parents were pretty renowned doctors, and my dad, you know, it wasn't just like, oh, you know, what my daddy says is always true. But he had some backup to it, I guess.

Scott Benner 1:07:25
If somebody's gonna know, be this guy. So yeah. Well, well, are you interested in like you said, You've been single and you live alone? Is that something you? Are you? Is that something you're doing on purpose? Are you looking for somebody? Or what do you think? No.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:07:42
I think that that's another thing that, you know, I've been struggling with. I think that some of my other behaviors tend to push people away. I do have tenants. So I'm not alone alone. I do have trouble asking for help, though. So sometimes, even if my one of my tenants is home, I called an ambulance. But no, I'm not single on purpose, I

Scott Benner 1:08:10
guess. Can I ask you a question? You just said like some of your actions can push people away? Do you have examples? It

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:08:17
might just be in my head. Kind of think of an example. I I mean, I I guess the only example that really comes to mind is something that happened when I was in a relationship where I was having quite a few low blood sugars. And once in a while, didn't have enough with me. I wasn't prepared with enough to treat it. And my significant other had to go out of his way to to get something for me. And it was a huge inconvenience. And I think that had a large impact on our relationship.

Scott Benner 1:08:53
What a therapist say that you're looking for somebody to take care of you the way you didn't feel like you were taking care of taking care of a child.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:09:00
Not really well. I mean, a therapist might say that, but I want to say I am capable of taking care of myself, of course.

Scott Benner 1:09:07
Yeah, no, no, of course you are. But is there any part of you that's just like, what if wouldn't it be cool if somebody else thought about this and not me? I bring it up because we we just saw the kids recently, and it was on spring break. So Arden went to where Cole is we all met there. And Arden spent the first couple of nights Cole's apartment and then we were like, Look, you you know, you stay here. Obviously, you're come back to the hotel, like mom and I got whatever you want to do. And like you can see like, they were having a good time. My son wanted her to stay and she's like, Hold on, I'm sorry. She's like, I'm gonna go back to the hotel so dad can take care of my diabetes tonight. Like she's like, I just want a day off, like from this. And I mean, that was a very conscious statement. But I wonder if if that doesn't happen subconsciously where you just like oh, I wish somebody else would just remember to bring you can juice box so I don't have to do it. look like that kind of thing? I don't know. It's, it's interesting.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:10:02
Well, in a way getting a Dexcom and an omni pod was that for me?

Scott Benner 1:10:09
Yeah, give it to give it to them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think you should date you seem lovely. And I'm sure somebody would be very lucky to be with you. So

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:10:18
I got, I got set up on a date a few years ago. And my friend introduced me to her friend, and I, like for the life of me, you know, you're a great guy, but I don't understand why my friend thought that you and I were compatible. And then he took out his insulin pump.

Scott Benner 1:10:38
Had nothing else in common, but there was nothing else.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:10:40
I was like, Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 1:10:45
I don't know, it's not always that hard. My wife and I, like, we don't have the same sense of humor. We don't like, like, she thinks about things differently than I do. And I mean, it still works. You know, it's just, I don't know. Anyway, I say, give it a try. It's up to you. Of course, I'm not in charge of your life. But again, I think somebody be lucky to be with you. So

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:11:07
just getting out there and finding a place to meet people. I guess I'm a little skeptical of the online dating.

Scott Benner 1:11:12
It's not that hard. Your girl. Boys will just like, you just just take a shower, look, half clean walk outside, one of us will be like, Hey, what's up? Very easy to impress. You don't have to try as hard as you think. Really not that hard. I think clean and looking like both eyes going in the same direction would be enough. Then your loveliness will shine through and you'll find people but yeah, I don't know. So I can't imagine honestly, like I I don't understand dating. Like I've dated when I was younger. When people were around. I remember my cousin telling me, as I was graduating from high school, my cousin said, Wait till you see how hard it is to meet girls when you're not in school anymore. And I was like, oh, what's he talking about? But man is right. And so, you know, I know. It's hard. Like, it's like, how do you really? How do you get around somebody enough to get a vibe for them? Before you try it out? You can't? Right? So you just kind of jump in cold? And you know, it seems like you might have a little trouble with like that. Like, I mean, you were really nervous just having like being on this in the beginning. So like that initial like, yeah, I can see where it would be hard. How about it work? Is that a bad spot? Probably

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:12:28
inappropriate for where I work now. But I mean, there's been some interest in previous jobs. I guess. There was one there was one. I mean, I guess it's not really dating related. But this place I was working was kind of set up with a bunch of cubicles. And this new guy started about the same age as me, and at the time. And some co workers came up to me and said, Hey, so and so like, he really needs your help. And I thought that they meant like, training him on something on a computer program, or whatever. So I go over to him. And he is daring at his computer screen. He's not responding to anything I'm saying to him. And somebody shoves a juice bottle in my in my hand and says, He has the same thing as you fix him.

Scott Benner 1:13:21
big help. Thanks a lot. And I was just and

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:13:25
use a big guy. I mean, like, basketball player, straight from college kind of size, you know. And I was thinking about how my dad would get violent sometimes. And I just took a few steps back and said, somebody called 911 don't find the other diabetic in the room. What if

Scott Benner 1:13:45
I get low during this? What's gonna happen?

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:13:48
And then like, I don't know, later on, people tried to play matchmaker between him and I but friends. Oh, good.

Scott Benner 1:13:56
Nice. All right. Wow. All right. I'm done trying to help you. I really do appreciate you coming on and sharing all this with us. Thank you.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:14:06
Did you have any questions on anything else? Um,

Scott Benner 1:14:09
I don't think so. Like it's more of an emotional journey for me when people tell stories like this, like I leave it. I think no differently than the people listening. Like, I feel like I started with you when you were five and and I ended here, you seem happy, which makes me happy. But I don't think that no, no, I don't think that there is anything that you didn't answer along the way that I did. I mean, I wondered about a lot of things while we were talking but they all came out during the conversation. I feel I feel pretty good about it, actually.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:14:45
So I currently maintain myself at about a seven a one C okay. I feel like I do have room to improve but not too drastically or rapidly. Right? I'm on the Omnipod Five now, and it's going well, for me, that's where I'm at.

Scott Benner 1:15:04
That's excellent. Good for you. comfortable and happy. is a perfect place. Yeah, yeah. Do you think you'll be in the sixes?

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:15:12
I think now that I mean, it's only been a month since I've been on the Omnipod. Five. But I already have such a reduced reduction in my fear of getting low. Good, that I feel more comfortable being in the lower one hundreds where I used to. I used to eat like a little bite of chocolate or something if I was 99 or 100.

Scott Benner 1:15:35
Now you wait to see what happens. Yeah,

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:15:37
yeah, cuz I know, like, my pump isn't going to let me keep dropping. So I feel more comfortable. And I'm already at a time and range at about 70% time and range, where it used to be like 3040,

Scott Benner 1:15:52
I should try to slice off about 10% of the confidence that I gave my daughter and give it to you. Because there's times on text here. I'm like, Hey, this is not holding up. You really like could you eat something, please? And she's like, it'll be fine. I'm like, it's not, I'm watching it, it's not gonna be fine. And she's just like, the opposite of that. She's like, it'll be alright. It'll be alright. And then when it's not, she's like, alright, she handles it. But there's moments when she's like, 75. And I'm looking at trends. And I'm like art, and this is going to be 60 in like, 15 minutes. And she's like, No, I might be alright. She's like, the algorithms trying to fix it. I'm like, I know, I see. But I don't think that's how it's gonna go. And I wish I could just take a little bit of that. Just I'll slide it over to you. Because it sucks to hear that somebody is still like, it has your level of understanding, but because of past situations, like you're, you're still more comfortable around like 120 130. Right? Yeah, absolutely. But I think you'll get there. I mean, I think the algorithms do a really good job of, of mimicking that confidence that you're talking about, like, well, at least this thing, the way I tend to think of it is, I know, it's not 100% I'm not going to get low, but I know there's a thing helping me to stop from falling like a stone. And that that's, that's pretty helpful. Like, you know, like the idea that it's been taking my basil away for 45 minutes, because it's predicting this low. I've seen Luke do it. And I'm sure you know, control IQ and all of them. Like they're trying to stop, like a drastic low. And there's something I don't know, there's something more comfortable about a drift to 60 than like, Hey, I'm 90 and then 10 minutes later, I'm 60. That's a

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:17:36
different world. So I used to be a two to three juicebox a night. person before starting Omnipod five, I was on Omnipod arrows. Wow. Ever since starting Omnipod five, I haven't had any juice boxes. I can still be in the club, though. Right?

Scott Benner 1:17:52
Oh, for sure. But this is such a that's such a wonderful like, improvement.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:17:58
It's a big difference. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:18:00
yeah. No, that's fantastic news. Oh, wow. Good for you. I mean, just the calories alone, but the unbroken sleep is a big deal. And it confidence when you're sleeping. And that's all like really, really important. I'm glad for you. And

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:16
I don't feel the need to go to bed with an elevated sugar.

Scott Benner 1:18:19
Good for you. That's a huge leap. And how long have you been doing it? a month. Oh, my gosh, this is terrific. Yeah, you'll have you'll be in the sixes in like three months. Probably. Thank you. Yeah, no, just from that, just from the thing. How long have you been listening the podcast?

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:18:35
I started not too long after you started. And then I kind of forgot about it. Sorry, door. And I went like a few years without listening. And then I picked it back up when I started considering upgrading my pump. So probably bout a year ago. I picked it up back up again. Oh, good for

Scott Benner 1:18:57
you. While you were there. In 2015. You were listening. Yeah. Wow. Geez, I thought I was talking to myself back then. Thank you. Terrific. The first year of the podcast had as many downloads as yesterday had. Which is really bizarre to say all out. But I really I really thought that like, and I and that first year, my wife's like, what do you think I'm like, It's going great. I was like, I can't believe I got 25,000 people to listen to the show this year. Like that's so cool. You know, I was I was all excited. And and now like there are days that go by, like if there's like the like, I don't know, like holidays pop up and you get like a little reduction on a holiday or something like that. I'm like, Where'd everybody go? What are you talking about? This is like 23,000 people downloaded the show yesterday. And I was like I know but I was really expecting 25 out for 24 and a half. And she's like, What are you talking about? I'm like I have standards. But that's it's very interesting to hear that somebody that was there in the beginning. That's very, very interesting for me and cool to hear. Thank you very much.

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:20:04
You're welcome. Of course, the sound quality is improved.

Scott Benner 1:20:09
I was gonna say, at least I bought a better microphone. I had a great microphone back then I just didn't know what I was doing. And this one, this one's better. This microphone is so cool, than if I just go a couple of steps away. It won't pick my voice up. And so in this scenario, when I don't have access to a recording studio, you still get a good silence around my voice. With this microphone. I wish I would have I see. Yeah, I wish I would have thought to, to do it sooner. Like the other day I was recording. And a trash truck went down the street. And the microphone didn't pick it up. I was like, Oh, this thing's terrific. But oh my gosh, yeah, I were doing the best jobs now. And people were really enjoying it, which is something I didn't I was like, I wonder how this is gonna go over. But we're running like a best of episode once a week. And I'm getting a lot of

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:21:01
I've heard a couple of them come up this past week. Yeah. And I'm getting good feedback from

Scott Benner 1:21:05
people. But it's the sound like when it pops up. And I hear that old microphone. I cringe. I'm like,

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:21:10
yeah. Anyway.

Scott Benner 1:21:14
It's cool. All right. Well, thank you very much. I'm gonna get

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:21:18
that this is an after

Scott Benner 1:21:20
Oh, or good question. I had this thought about 45 minutes ago, and I don't think it is. Cool. Yeah, I don't think it is. And, you know, I try to say this every time it comes up, but I don't love that the after dark episodes are called after dark episodes. It's not a function of something I would do. It's a function of people listening. So I what I learned is, is that people need a warning sometimes. And not everybody's cool here and about like, a heroin Bender, and and, you know, and stuff like that. I don't see it that way. Like, I wouldn't mark any of them like that. But I don't know. I mean, you had an eating disorder, but I don't see that that's, you know, suffering. Yeah. I mean, I know, I don't see this was an as an after dark. Do you think so? What did you think? Um,

Anonymous Female Speaker 1:22:13
I didn't think so either. But, you know, it's just kind of curious.

Scott Benner 1:22:17
Ya know, I wondered about it. Like I said, about 45 minutes ago, and I didn't break down anything or, or have any thoughts that would make me think that way. So no, I don't think so. All right. Great. Excellent. Hold on one second for me. Okay. Sure.

I'd like to thank my anonymous guests for coming on the show today and sharing her story. If you'd like to wear the same insulin pump that Arden does, all you have to do is go to Omni pod.com/juice box. That's it. Head over now and get started today. And you'll be wearing the same tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been wearing since she was four years old. A huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Don't forget us med.com/juice box this is where we get our diabetes supplies from you can as well use the link or call 888-721-1514 Use the link or call the number get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from us med. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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