#1055 Sugar Free Friends

Alex has type 1 diabetes. 

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1055 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Let's see what we've got for you today. Alex is married with children. She's had type one diabetes for 34 years diagnosed at three years old. Wow, that's crazy. Alex and her wife have fostered children and also have a child themselves. Ooh, artificial insemination. There's all this good story. What do we got here? You know what, I'm not giving the rest of this away. No, I'm not telling you the rest of this. You have to listen if you want to know. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. Check out the Juicebox Podcast, private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes 43,000 members strong. Over 120 new posts every day. There's a conversation happening right now that needs you. wants you or would benefit from your experience or presence. What am I saying? Go to Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. Join the group. Find your community. I'm not going to put any ads on this episode today because I want to take this time to tell you about the series within the podcast. There is so much that you may not know about if you're a new listener, for instance, the after dark series. There are gosh I don't even know dozens of after dark episodes going all the way back to Episode 274. stuffs about weed sex depression, self harm, psychedelics, heroin addiction, all this stuff with people living with type one diabetes, go to juicebox podcast.com. Go to the top click on after dark to see a complete list. There's also asked Scott and Jenny episodes. Those are questions sent in by listeners that Jenny Smith and I have answered an entire series of algorithm pumping episodes. Find out about Omni pod five tandem T Sanaya. Control IQ all the loop Iaps it's all in there. They mean so much. We're going to hear from a tandem pump trainer we have that you want to hear from Kenny Fox gives a three episode tour de force about using loop. I've got a three episode series with Omni pod about starting your Omnipod five. There's the bold beginning series for people who are newly diagnosed. It's sort of like the Pro Tip series, but not as intense. It's great for people who are newly diagnosed or a little timid bold beginnings. Go check that out. How about defining diabetes definitions for every diabetes term you can think of? It's kind of hard to do something when you don't know what it is. So with defining diabetes, get short, fun episodes that define those words for you and help you to put them into context, defining thyroid, the diabetes Pro Tip Series, Episode 1002 1026, completely newly remastered? Absolutely. I don't say this very often. You listen to the Pro Tip series. And understand that a little bit. You're looking at a one C and the sixes you understand a lot. Low sixes you really understand it. I bet you getting the high fives. I'm talking about no diet restrictions, diabetes pro tip.com, or episode 1002 1026. In your podcast app, there's the variable series, mental wellness type two pro tips, how we eat, and so much more. Use the website juicebox podcast.com. Look around, see what's there. And if you need something specific or you can't find something, go to the private Facebook group and ask there are group experts in there that would be happy to answer your questions or tag me. I'd be happy to answer as well.

Alex 4:08
My name is Alex. I am a wife, a mom and have been type one diabetic for 3434 years now.

Scott Benner 4:20
Wait, and you just told me you're 37 before we started recording? Yep. Well, you were three you're diagnosed

Alex 4:27
just after my third birthday, like 10 days after I turned three.

Scott Benner 4:33
I'm interested, okay. 34 years ago, I just real quickly. Sure, man, I absolutely. It's 2023. So basically, I just have to I just have to subtract 11 from 100 which is 89. So you were diagnosed in 1989?

Alex 4:56
Yes, march 21 of 89 to be He is specific.

Scott Benner 5:01
Let the people who are listening just soak it up for a second. Just Let's be quiet. There's the backwards s way my brain works around that, by the way,

Alex 5:10
what how to the end result? I mean, math is definitely not my strong suit either. So you got there faster than I would have been able to?

Scott Benner 5:19
Seriously with my broken idea of mathematics that's like, well, it's 2023. So I'll take 23 off and 10 off is 90. And then one more is 80. It got there. I'm incredibly embarrassed by that. Okay. Well, you must not have known much it was happening then. Right. So I guess my first thought is, what's your first kind of recollection memory of having diabetes,

Alex 5:44
during the whole, diagnose, process, and kind of give that whole story because it really goes into if a parent thinks there's something wrong with your kiddo, like, you need to be your kid's advocate. Because when I was diagnosed at night, like you said, like, diabetes wasn't as prevalent in kids, so they weren't testing me for it. So the earliest memory I have is actually going in to an MRI machine, because they were doing like bone scans, because I couldn't walk more than like 20 feet without wanting my parents to carry me knowing now because obviously, like my body wasn't working, I couldn't walk anymore. So they were testing me for like, leukemias, blood cancers, like bone diseases. I just remember being I think I was probably still two, maybe just three at the time thinking, what is this very scary, loud machine?

Scott Benner 6:48
Wow. I can't imagine that. You remember that? That's fascinating to me.

Alex 6:54
I think it was just so like, it was a very white Stark room. And then, like an MRI. So like, this huge machine that you go inside. So as a kid, it must have been just on the brink of traumatizing enough that it just stuck in my brain. Because yeah, you know, childhood amnesia. There's no real reason I should remember that. But I do. And then snippets of the hospital, but not very much. Like I really don't remember too much about diabetes until entering like, kindergarten.

Scott Benner 7:31
Okay. And then all that plow banging from the MRI machine to

Alex 7:36
probably Yeah, like it was probably just a pretty freaky experience.

Scott Benner 7:39
That's incredible. Well, hey, you didn't have bone cancer. That's good.

Alex 7:43
That is a positive. Absolutely. All that they've tested me for I will honestly take diabetes.

Scott Benner 7:52
I guess that's a, that's a valuable way to think of it. Hey, quick side note. You don't have to tell me where you live. But you've said kiddo. Are you near the Wisconsin? Chicago, Minnesota area?

Alex 8:02
Milwaukee area?

Scott Benner 8:03
Yeah. i Okay. Are you impressed? Alex?

Alex 8:07
I am very impressed. That's, that was really good.

Scott Benner 8:11
I've never heard somebody use the word kiddo with frequency. Other than my sister in law who's from Wisconsin.

Alex 8:19
That's amazing. Okay, I do remember hearing you say your brother lives in Wisconsin, or at one point did I'm not sure if they're still here? Yeah.

Scott Benner 8:28
They're close to you. Okay, cool. I mean, I'm more impressed with the kiddo thing than I am with the math thing. And so I just need a second to soak up how good I feel right now.

Alex 8:39
I'll be honest, that's pretty impressive. You can you narrow that scope down pretty close.

Scott Benner 8:45
Alex, I am so uniquely qualified to make a podcast because I pay attention to things that I don't think anybody else cares about.

Alex 8:54
What your podcasts fantastic. Oh, I love the whole thing. And you are always pretty spot on with your very good educated assumptions and guesses like people, I think are always pretty impressed with that.

Scott Benner 9:09
Oh, I can tell you like me because you didn't call it generalizations and assumptions. Listen, I you know, you see things that I've times you know, absolutely is a rule. And I've never heard anyone say kiddo before except for her.

Alex 9:27
All right. Well, I you know, I will probably say it a couple more times. So I'm glad and at least doesn't put a face to a name but you can at least now know a little bit about me without knowing much about me. Alex

Scott Benner 9:39
is like you can't find my house but you have a little more context. That's excellent. So your early remembrances of diabetes? Do they come in forms of conversations with your parents? Like I'm trying to figure out how often frequently and in depth your parents discussed your childhood with you?

Alex 9:58
Yeah, they've always been really Oh, have been anytime I've asked questions. So I know this is always a conversation about is it, quote unquote better to be diagnosed earlier or later? For me, I don't know, any other world. So it was always just part of what we did. So I think they always did a very good job of involving me in a conversation that was age appropriate or my interest LED. So as I got into grade school, they kind of more explained the whys in the woods. And we were very fortunate that my mom connected with like three or four other moms. So I knew a small population of other type ones, which I think made it a little bit easier to know that I wasn't alone. But that oh, I'm not the only one going through this. So I can, like, I'm trying to think if there's a specific, like turning point that I realized, like, oh, like, this is what that means. But I don't really I think they just always were good about leading me into knowing what was going on. What should I be listening to my body for? I mean, it's definitely weird being you know, a four year old going off to kindergarten, and mom coming in halfway through the day to do a blood sugar check. But

Scott Benner 11:42
I never really see your mom built like a little playgroup at Disney Kids for you to

Alex 11:48
have Yeah, pretty much grew up. So I don't know if they'll hear the podcast, but shout out to my sugar free friends. That's what our parents referred to us as

Scott Benner 12:01
sugar free friends. Yeah. Would have been helpful if you would have just said sugar free kiddos. So I could have named the episode but All right, we'll keep going. So I'm struck by the date of your diagnosis, because 89 is still basically like it's near the transfer between like, when people were like some people were doing most people doing regular and mph, and then faster after insolence were coming. And meter technology was still janky. And you know, like, so you started on? management wise, in my opinion, like an unfavorable footing. So how quickly did you get to faster acting insulin?

Alex 12:42
That's probably later in grade school, actually. So when we left the hospital, I was on regular and Len Tay. And yeah, thinking about it, I don't think I think they gave me like Novolog or human log, probably? Probably like eight or nine years later.

Scott Benner 13:04
Oh, no kidding. So almost the late 90s later night, yes. No, human log was definitely available then.

Alex 13:13
Yeah. Or which one came first. And with insurances I've flipped flopped on those more times than I can count. But I do remember that being a pretty in my mind, cool, pivoting moment, because it definitely opened up to not eating very scheduled times and very scheduled carb amounts. And he's through grade school. Like, I think I had the same lunch minus a couple of variations. Probably until the, you know, late 90s. So I can remember that being a really sounds kind of ridiculous, but a really exciting, changing point.

Scott Benner 13:54
Wow. Yeah, no, I hear that from people. You're in your, you know, the age isn't important. It's people who who went from mph, regular Ultra lentil stuff like that one day, and to faster acting. So you were eating to a schedule prior to this, right? Yep. Yeah. For nine or 10 years? Yep. Till you were like 12 years old?

Alex 14:19
Yeah, probably probably about that. Like, yeah, middle school age.

Scott Benner 14:23
Can I ask a question? Of course, the whole thing is me asking a question. So when I say that it's ridiculous.

Alex 14:29
You can ask anything at all. If there is something that I won't answer, I will very nicely tell you that. How about that?

Scott Benner 14:35
That's fine. Oh, that I appreciate it. And I expect from everybody, by the way, but here I'll give you a little secret. If I say Can I ask you a question? That's me buying myself time while I'm still formulating my question. Perfect. Good to know. Here's another one for you. Episode went up today. There's an ad for in the beginning for a contour meter. Right. And I wanted to say that the meter was very accurate. And I wanted to I was going to say it was super accurate. And when I said the word super, I could not remember the word accurate. So I could have gone back and re edited it and just said it's super accurate. But instead I went it's super duper Uber, super, super accurate.

Speaker 1 15:22
I couldn't find accurate my head. And then I listened back to it. I was like, oh, that's silly. I'll leave that in. But anyway, the part I was fumbling over is, I want to ask if you're a clean eater, lean person, but then I got certain that if you weren't, it would feel insulting. But I'm trying to get to did eating to a schedule lead to a lifetime of careful eating. That's my question.

Alex 15:52
Yes, and no. So yes, it did. For all of my life, pretty much through elleven, say high school, and I was a very athletic kid, I played soccer, basketball, softball, I was constantly in a sport all the time, my parents, God bless them. And then I reached college, and played soccer and basketball for my college had a wonderful time. But I'll admit, like, I did kind of go off the rails a little bit, because it had been not ingrained. But a very learned, you know, eating is very important. And all the things doctors and parents tell type one, it goes with, you know, you got to be careful, and you got to carb counting all the stuff that we know. But I kind of took it as Oh, I'm free. Now I don't have to do all of this. Always taking care of my diabetes. I did always respect that importance. But definitely, definitely took it as a little bit more. Yeah, I can eat more fast food. And if everyone else is going out for pizza, cool, I can join them. And I'd say it wasn't. Say there's probably like a good eight years of doing a lot of that before pulling things back on track going, you know, I just need to go back to being a little more diligent. Yeah. But yeah, I think there was a little bit of a

Scott Benner 17:30
well, you know, what I noticed too, watching my son in college is that when you're playing a sport in college, you can almost do anything it feels like because you're just burning so many calories constantly. So you know, you can eat a little, I don't know, crazy ecology, and it doesn't hit you the way does people who are not, you know, running active. You said you played two sports played a winter sport and a spring sport.

Alex 17:58
Fall in winter. Yes, I played soccer in the fall. And then there was always a little bit of overlap leading into the basketball season.

Scott Benner 18:07
It's a lot of running through, unless you're the goalie.

Alex 18:12
No, I'm not the goalie or goalie was phenomenal. But I I played typically left midfielder. So that was a lot of running.

Scott Benner 18:21
Is this in a position where you shoot on the goal frequently or no? Yes. Okay. Can I ask a question? I'm being super serious. Now. The goal is so big, and the ball is so small, and a person is so small. How do they miss the open space so frequently? It's a good

Alex 18:39
question. And if I had the answer, I would definitely have been able to score a lot more. But if you're a college level goalie, you are a superhero in my mind. So our team so I played for Alberto college. And the goalie we had while I played was a ninja like she covered so much ground. And if anybody is listening to this elbow college did not have a strong soccer program for the first couple of years that I was there and then we have built up from there. But there was one game. This is not an exaggeration, but we were playing on I think the stats were they had like 80 shots on goal and our goalie let eight in. So just picture this poor college kid diving and jumping like she was exhausted. She took a beating that day we played that was you know, one of the better teams in our league. But how soccer goalies are? I think one of the most underrated people in sports that to them. That's not an answer to your question, but that's not

Scott Benner 19:59
have an answer to my question. It feels like here's what soccer feels like. To me. It feels like somebody gave you a tennis ball stands you 15 feet from a garage door and says here hit the garage door and you throw it backwards. That's how it feels. So much space. And anyway, hey, by the way, do you feel prepared to live a life of personal and professional distinction and meaningful engagement with the world? Because that's what Alvarado college is known for it says online.

Alex 20:26
You know what, it's a it's a great school. i Yes, I would. I would say that.

Scott Benner 20:31
Excellent. Well, then good for them. That's amazing. All right. I'll get past that. And I'm not soccer bashing. Listen, I like Ted lasso like everybody else. Okay. But it's just such a big space.

Alex 20:46
It's a bass soccer real? Yes. When you break it down that simply it does seem like it should be a much scoring game,

Scott Benner 20:54
I want to say I would not be able to do it. It's just not me going. I I'm assuming it's very difficult. It's just it doesn't make sense visually, while I'm watching it. That's all I'm saying.

Alex 21:04
No, I get that I can respect

Scott Benner 21:05
that. Like, even with the running around, I think to myself, there's so much space on the field. Why don't you run where there nobody is then put the ball there. Guys never understand what's happening. It looks like chaos. To me, I recognize that it's not, my brain doesn't make sense of it. That's it.

Alex 21:21
That's all and I'll be honest, that was my team's approach. For the longest time. I am not nearly as athletic today as I was back then. But I was fast. I'm not going to run a marathon. But I will get from point A to point B faster than anybody else. So the coach would yell, run for the border, which was codeword for launch that ball and do an open space. And Alex will go get it. And that is all I did. So it is a little bit of organized chaos. You're not wrong in your approach.

Scott Benner 21:55
Thank you. I also don't understand watching golf. But that's for another day,

Alex 21:59
either. Other podcast.

Scott Benner 22:03
But while you're in college and running around crazy, you also let go of the building your diabetes building blocks. Is that correct? Like you just sort of you're not eating on a schedule anymore. That's as specific you don't have to, which is terrific. But then suddenly does it. Like I guess my question is, do you think that hurt you in the long run? Or do you think that it was just a part of growing in the process?

Alex 22:30
I think it was a part of growing. I think every kid at some point, diabetes related or not? It is biologically ingrained in us to push back and everything that our parents teach us. It's an important part of growing up. And I think, for me, that was my kind of pushing back that was is maybe silly as it sounds like my rebellion. Sure. Like, oh, I don't have to listen. No. So I think I think it didn't help me in some cases. But I think all the years before that. I was at least able to kind of get back now. I am not saying I eat perfect or regimented right now, but I can weigh like, I don't want to go back to what I did in college. So it's easier to stay on a better track.

Scott Benner 23:23
Yeah, I mean, people rebel, like that's, I think, pretty obvious in common. And I mean, my go to example is always like when we graduated from high school, all the Catholic school girls we knew either cut their hair, if their hair was long or grew their hair forever short. It was it was just it was just like, they were like, I'm going to now I'm going to make a decision is what it felt like to me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I gotcha. Okay. All right. So I tell people all the time. I love speaking with people in their late 20s, who had diabetes when they were younger, because you get to hear them grow up with it and, and hear the struggles they have as they're breaking free of like their help with their parents. But my first question for you is, first of all, you have an extra 10 years on this. So I think this is going to be really valuable. But how involved were your parents before you left for college?

Alex 24:10
They were very involved. Right up until high school, and then it was a little bit more on the peripherals. So by the time I went off to college, it really was completely in my hands. So my mom was primary diabetes caregiver. It was the 80s 90s mom had a little bit more hands on at home dad went to work in, you know, brought home brought home more of the paycheck. So my mom felt more of the diabetes burden. And then in high school, I took a little bit more of the control. Again, I was out a little bit more doing sports, things like that. It just wasn't as feasible for her to be so hands Then the good thing is I went to the high school that she works at. So I would at lunchtime go in and do a blood sugar in her office and things like that, at least made it a little comfortable feeling. But because technology wasn't what it is now, there was no importance because of course, it was always important, but the data wasn't as readily accessible. So I think it made it easier for her and for AI to give me a little bit more control.

Scott Benner 25:33
When you left for college. Was there a feeling of like, I can call my mom if I need to? Or was that not even a concern? Did you? Were you worried about leaving for college? I guess that's my question.

Alex 25:45
No, I really wasn't. Part of that was because I went to school close to home. And it was only 15 minutes from my house. So I lived at home freshman and sophomore year. So even if I wasn't constantly checking in, I knew that if I needed anything, she would either be home at night when I got home from classes and practice, or she would be a phone call away. I needed her and leaned on her a lot more when it came to finding a good doctor or how to navigate any of the insurance stuff. So the day to day care I felt pretty confident in but she was always there to help if I had questions or something really kind of stumped me

Scott Benner 26:35
right. Now at that time. There's no CGM, so the can the can. What am I asking? You have a CGM now? Yes. Okay. So, do you look back at that time and think, Wow, I can't believe how lucky I got. When you describe what you're concerned about leaving for college. Your your concerns? Were not the same as what I thought about when Arden left. But I can see Arden's blood sugar in real time. So like, was your I mean, like the junior mom sit around and be like, you know, if you get low, like, was there a lot of worry about lows?

Alex 27:14
I'm sure for her there was. But for you, she did a really good job of not letting me see probably how nervous she she truly was. I think now that I'm a parent, I'm sure she was probably up at night, you know, really concerned. And I always share with her what my eight onesies are, I always have I know, she wants to know more. But at the time, I didn't see how it would be important for her to know, like, you know, all of that wasn't readily available. So I feel, you know, at that time, I probably could have and I'm sure she would have appreciated that. But she was really good at just going Yep, you know, like, go out do this. I'm here, you know, for anything you might need. But yeah, now being a parent or kind of looking back on it. She probably wanted to know more about what my blood sugar was doing.

Scott Benner 28:15
What was what was your focus then? Long term, short term for your outcomes and goals? Like what were you trying to keep? Were you trying to keep your blood sugar anywhere, or were you just trying not to be dizzy? Like I'm trying to understand, like, what the what the goal was,

Alex 28:32
the goal was to stay in range. I think that what range meant at that point was probably closer to like 90 to 200. I think my range at that point that I was aiming for was definitely broader. But being very in tune yet with my body, I knew that showing up to a game or practice anything under 90 obviously was dangerous and wasn't going to be helpful for me or my team. But anything over 200 I was going to feel like garbage and not be able to perform as well either. So staying in something of a range for me definitely was important. I even if I wasn't eating very healthy. I didn't sit in the two three hundreds and I wasn't okay with that. So I definitely brought myself within range. Now, is it the range that I try to keep myself in now? No. But again, you know, college, you're invincible and you think you're on top of the world.

Scott Benner 29:36
It's just very interesting to me that if back then you didn't know what was happening in between your finger sticks. So if Did you find yourself low frequently or no?

Alex 29:49
No, not really. Not Not really too bad. I if I had to put a reasonable guess on it. I would say I was probably Living quite often in like the 151 60 range based on, like what I remember. And I mean, that was a long time ago, there's no way I can tell you what my blood was on any given day. But I think I did a pretty good job, it was always important for me to stay somewhat what I would have defined in range at that point. And that's tricky, right? Because there's still doctors today that say anything below 180 is good. But certainly tighter now. But at the time, I think I was for what I understood diabetes to be was living in a pretty healthy space.

Scott Benner 30:36
That's it. I mean, it's all fat. Like I when Arden left, my my thought is always a low blood sugar that she can't help herself for is my concern. That was that was my concern when she left, right. And that's even interesting to say, because I mean, Orton doesn't get low that frequently. So you know, it's not like she's low every day or something. And I'm like, Oh, it's just gonna keep happening. And just the randomness of it is what concerns me, ended up being the bigger concern is the quality of the food at the college, which is suspect, and

Alex 31:11
perhaps a lot of carbs lot of refined.

Scott Benner 31:16
Processed, fried, refined, carb heavy, like repetition like even that she's like, I'm so sick of all this. It's bad food, and I'm sick of it. And I'm like, Yeah, I gotcha.

Alex 31:29
Yeah, she's got to be, you guys. Gotta be getting ready to bring her back home pretty soon. Hey,

Scott Benner 31:35
so yeah. So she does quarters, though. So she's completing her third quarter or her first year. I know, that sounds crazy. You don't have to do the fourth quarter to complete the air. But it's both the years broken up into quarters. But these last two, there was no real break in between. So the first time she went away, she was gone for a quarter. And she came home for a while. And then she went back. And that was the beginning of January. And now she's not going to be home until the beginning of June. So she's gonna be gone like a solid five months. And it's the longest she's ever been away from home. Okay, so we're starting to hear from her. Like, I can't wait for summer. I want to come home. Like that kind of stuff. You know, which I completely understand. The other day I was, she was FaceTiming. So she was making a skirt. And I was editing the podcast. So we just fake and we talked for a while. And I said, I was joking with her. She's like, I got to do this. And then I have to go over to the fashion, you know, building to do this. And I'm like, right. She's like, it's gonna be late tonight. And I was like, Well, I have to do this. And this this. She was here but in our house. She was look at this little tiny room I'm sitting in. Yeah. And I was like, I know. She's like, I'm trying to so sitting on a stool in front of a coffee table.

Alex 32:59
That's yeah, I guess I got about how limiting college dorm rooms.

Scott Benner 33:06
I'm like, in this tiny little space. It was four of us in here. And she's like, I like these girls. She's like, What if I didn't like them? And I'm like, Nah, now. So, but it just my concern. I never thought about, like the other stuff. Like, I just think that as the time goes by, and the management changes, people's understanding gets deeper. And so their concerns change too. And and there's part of me that that feels like I could see the time when you grew up as just limited information. So you wouldn't know any better almost just like ignorance that you're just you know, it's not your fault in any way. But then it's interesting to hear you talk about it because if I knew what I know now and then you took me back to 1997 and set and I had to send Alex off to school I'd be like Well she's obviously going to die. That's the last I say goodbye to Alex everybody and and not the case obviously.

Alex 34:04
No, I get that I can see where knowing everything we know now and everything we have, if that would all be taken away. It would it would be living in the dark ages. I absolutely respect and I mean I think

Scott Benner 34:18
you're okay right now you don't have any kind of long term health issues.

Alex 34:23
No, I'm doing doing really well. 15 months ago gave birth to a very healthy little boy and everything went very smooth that way. There was one period of time later in college where my eye doctor wanted to keep an eye on a couple blood vessels that she said we're looking a little a little more spotty, but since tightening everything up and making a couple other changes, she says everything is not only stopped where It was but has actually gotten better. That was really the I'll say the closest thing to what I'll say is a true complication or a you know, the the ones you hear about, but otherwise no, I'm, I consider myself in pretty good

Scott Benner 35:12
health. That's excellent. How many kids do you have?

Alex 35:15
So we've got one daughter, who is 20. And she joined our family a little bit later in life. And we've got a 15 month old son, and then we fostered for a while. So one of our foster daughters we see on the weekend. She's not currently in our home, but we're like a mentor, or so we are quite often

Scott Benner 35:40
nice. Yeah. So I'm hearing you. You abducted a child. And you made a baby. I gotcha. Grab it at the ball. Just come with us kind of a situation. Almost. Yeah, least you're taking good care. It's funny when you said 20. Like, you start doing the math. And I'm like, Alex didn't say she had a baby in high school. That's not this. Yeah. And then very easily understand. Well, that's lovely. How old were you when you started fostering children.

Alex 36:09
So she, let's see, okay. My wife and I, we're actually just kind of having this conversation. So we've started fostering five and a half, six years ago, and then met our daughter five years ago. And then she seemed to officially like full time move in with us about three years ago. Oh, that's lovely. Weird. That might be off on that. But she, she has been with us for for quite a few years. Now.

Scott Benner 36:40
That was certainly no 2023 minus 37. But it wasn't terrible. No. She was about 15. When you met her,

Alex 36:49
I lost that whole 2020 just feels like it's gone. So take with a grain of salt. If she's listening to this, and goes, geez, man, I've been here for five years. I'll feel terrible, but

Scott Benner 37:00
it's fine. It's a lot of pressure. There's like due dates all but she was around 15 When you met her? Yes. Okay. That's beautiful. So now I have another question. Yep. How do you decide who carries the baby? Rock Paper, Scissors, please? No, I wish it was paper, scissors. Okay, there was other ways Go ahead.

Alex 37:21
For a lot of families, it probably does come down to it being that simple. My wife has some health stuff that just would have made that process a little bit more tricky, a little bit more medically intensive. So having the conversation on who would have the best chance of staying healthier and having a healthy baby. And it was me.

Scott Benner 37:50
Yeah, that's what I didn't want to say. I'm like, how did you end up being the good choice? This is what I was wondering. I was like, well go with a type one. This will be the way to go. So

Alex 37:59
this is the winner here.

Scott Benner 38:01
I bet you that's the first time you ever won like a race like that. You were like why

Alex 38:06
wouldn't diabetes put me at the advantage point. Right,

Scott Benner 38:09
exactly. That's wonderful. Okay, so very cool. So the youngest is just 15 months old. That's really, that's a great time. Will you consider TrialNet?

Alex 38:20
Yes, I we will definitely be doing that. And that has been a funny process, because we've got some friends. He's type one. He has two kids. And he's had the, the information. He's had the box, they call him every six months going, Hey, when are you going to send this in? And he's terrified of it. He you see, he's afraid of what he will or won't find out. And I respect that. And up until even delivery. My wife and I were both like, if it happens, it happens. We know what to look for. And then our son was about three months old. And something came minorly unhinged. And I'm like, we like how old can he be before we do this? And then it became a Well, geez, now I gotta wait till he's two and a half, like, what are we gonna do? But just out of curiosity, I listened to one mom on your podcast, who? Honestly, it's what made sense. In my mind. She said it's not knowing the like, when is it going to happen, but she was able to use it as a teaching point, and help her son understand it before the diagnosis landed. And I thought that's a really cool approach. You know, if that made sense to me, and then I saw a conversation on your podcast about you know, when were people diagnosed, and so many of the people said almost exactly three months after COVID and it was right at the time. Our little one had COVID So, I did tell my wife, I'm like, we're gonna do a blood sugar check. month three or four after like, I just need to put my mind at ease. Yeah, he was perfect. He was 78. Like, there's nothing could have been better. I mean, we'll definitely do try

Scott Benner 40:17
on that. Okay. Yeah. Hey, so when you were looking for a donor, were you just like, look, just there can't be any autoimmune issues in your family. That's what I would have been like, I don't care what they look like, I don't care. I don't know how much money they make. Just please. Not even I don't even want like a sore stomach after a meal. My thing

Alex 40:37
is, yeah, so we went through a bank in Illinois. And for me, it was very important that we picked features that actually complimented my wife. So it worked out perfectly, because he does look like the two of us. So whoever he's with, like, people, if people don't know us, they would assume like, Oh, that's my Oh, that's

Scott Benner 41:01
cool. Oh, I didn't think of that. That's such a wonderful idea. Yeah. Cool. No, excellent, good. Well, I'm glad that cost money by the way.

Alex 41:13
It does. We were very fortunate that we did not need to do a lot of the medical components that a lot of a lot of straight or lesbian families have to go through. We were pretty lucky that we could simply order and you need doctor's approvals, and you have to fax in this like ream of paper to the bank that basically says your doctor is giving permission more or less that you're healthy enough to try. But we were able to attempt at home and things went

Scott Benner 41:50
really well. Alex I was gonna joke about that. But it's a do it yourself kit.

Alex 41:55
It can be oh my

Scott Benner 41:57
god, be honest. The funniest thing that's ever happened to you?

Alex 42:01
It was. I mean, yeah, like that is

Scott Benner 42:04
nerve racking, I imagine but it's hilarious, too, right?

Alex 42:07
Yep, absolutely. I are very, I don't wanna say silly people, but like, we're very relaxed. And it was just it was a weird kind of like, knowing like, what like what are we like? This is an at home science experiment. Like it's just very bizarre but very cool.

Scott Benner 42:25
I'm about to go write a movie where this is the main scene. Nobody steal my idea. Okay.

Alex 42:31
This is yours patent pending.

Scott Benner 42:33
Oh my god. That's I just My mind is picturing so many different odd things that just I would have been laughing the whole time if I was one of you. Oh my god, I got you. I got you in the bicycle position yet abs like oh my god, I got her going. I don't want to touch it. Oh my god, does it. I never mind. My last question is not appropriate.

Alex 43:04
But we can talk out there that's totally fine. Just want

Scott Benner 43:07
to know how close to an actual turkey baster does it look like is what I'm asking is

Alex 43:11
it looks more like a like an at home chemistry set as weird as that sounds. So yes, like everyone says turkey baster but like think much more like high school chemistry classroom.

Scott Benner 43:23
Okay. Now I'm going to ask you a question that I'm serious about this gonna sound like I'm joking. I'm not being salacious. I really want to I really want to understand good job, Scott way to go down this hole. Or not, I didn't mean that stop. Sorry.

Alex 43:39
Unintended there

Speaker 1 43:40
wasn't even intended. I was gonna say path. And then I was gonna say rabbit hole. And I just said the worst thing I could have said, is it best? Is the alright, that's my question. Is it best to be aroused? While you're doing it like or is there like physiological function around that? Or is it just as easy as like, put it in? And we're done? We

Alex 44:02
have. So we did a little bit of homework. Like, it's not super, it's not difficult to find information online. But it's also you got to weed through just like anything like what's reputable and what's not. So they did say that there was higher likelihood. If, if that, you know,

Scott Benner 44:21
things up a little bit, got things go? Yeah, that made sense to me. But I wasn't sure. And then there was probably a very polite adult way. I could have asked that question, but I actually scaled it down pretty far from the juvenile thought I had. So I think I did pretty well. No. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense to me. And so because not, not for nothing too, but if you're if you're paying by the delivery, you want to get it in, get it go in the right way as quickly as possible to

Alex 44:51
pretty much I mean, it wasn't I have friends who are LGBT and straight who have spent lots of money and attempts to get get pregnant. And I mean, it can add up very quickly. I will say our first attempt, or getting pregnant was not our first attempt. So there was some money spent. But, you know, just like, heterosexual people have to try, you know, multiple times sometimes to it, you know, it takes what it takes.

Scott Benner 45:22
Yeah. So do you, if you okay? If so if you try once that doesn't work? Do you go back to the bank and say, Hey, we want more from the same guy.

Alex 45:30
You can Yep. So you. I mean, it's kind of I mean, it doesn't I guess sound ridiculous. But like, yeah, you kind of fill out an order form and either call or email or fax I think are different ways you can kind of do things, you can have it shipped. So there's like a window of like a travel range that they'll deliver.

Scott Benner 45:54
Think about that the next time, you wouldn't be mean to your UPS guy. Right? Cut him or him or her break. You know, they mean their login sperm around them.

Alex 46:05
The package car driver, they're now thinking, jeez, how much have I delivered?

Scott Benner 46:11
Guy was there every day for a week. Every time something comes to my house, I say to the guy, I'm gonna go back inside and say to my wife that you come here, you said you come here a lot. And he goes, I don't feel that way. And I go, I'm still gonna use you as an excuse. Yeah, I'm like the guy said, he this the house. He goes through the most. It's upsetting to him. He really wants a break. I'm just trying to get another buy things online. But it's not working yet. Okay. So you. So you do that. Now, and it is in the back? I mean, there's no way around it right. It's in the back of your head. You were diagnosed at three. Yeah, so the baby comes near like, by the way you didn't chase called the baby Scott. No, no, that's fine. And do you like do you listen to this podcast? I do. Yeah. Cool. That's nice. How did you find it?

Alex 47:02
I think it was in something that like highlighted the top podcasts in different genres. And it was either diabetes specific or like health care something. But am I like, that's really cool. I'm driving, you know, more for work, and then dropping our son off at daycare. So I started listening and really enjoyed it. So I am happy to be able to be talking with you for for a change.

Scott Benner 47:36
I'm good. That's excellent. Your note says that you want to talk about advocating for yourself. And I have not let you get to that yet. So

Alex 47:46
no, that's okay. Right. What I love about the podcast is he, you ask questions, and we just go from there. So even if we would never have touched on that, it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world.

Scott Benner 47:57
We've learned a lot already today. Like I mean, we've learned from a person who was diagnosed very young, and in a different management time heard about going to college, we've heard about, like, at home insemination, which my goodness, I was gonna joke about that, but I did not realize it was an actual real thing. So I learned something there. And yeah, and I just have a Yeah. Did you wear rubber gloves? I'm just kidding. Did you? Uh, wait, did you?

Alex 48:24
No, no, we did. I was thinking about like, the thought that came in my head is why we weren't rubber gloves. But yeah, like that would be a question, but we did not know.

Scott Benner 48:32
So Alex, here's the end of the insemination questions for me and then I move forward. Are you are your wife Goldstar?

Alex 48:41
We are not

Scott Benner 48:43
okay. That's why you're not scared. I say okay, I got it all. Now. I figured the whole thing out. That's fine. How many people right now are like I don't know what that means? Probably a lot. Yeah. Not me. I know a lot of useless stuff. Do I? Do I tell them

Alex 49:01
asking that question. You know, I'm gonna let people wander. Either wander or check it out? Primarily because like if someone in my family listens to this, I don't want them being like asking like so. Who was it?

Scott Benner 49:15
Oh, so you're, you're you're Hoh. So it happened but it's not like a It's not it's not like you are with guys for a long time. It's just the thing that happened at one time.

Alex 49:26
Right? Yeah. Well, that's that's actually a very good way of summing that up. Okay,

Scott Benner 49:30
can I ask another question? Sure. Were you testing it? Oh, like were you like let me just make sure that it started happening. You went Oh, yeah, no, I'm sure that's enough. We can you can go home.

Alex 49:45
No, it was not taking away from the experience. It wasn't a casual like encounter or anything like that. It was more or less closing a chapter for me and this guy. So, it wasn't like, you know, I mean, like people totally fine if like people are out there, you know, having kind of meaningless relationships. For me. It wasn't bad. It was definitely like a closure piece that me and former boyfriend needed to kind of put in place

Scott Benner 50:17
to us. So prior to the boyfriend, did you think you might be gay? Or you never had the thought?

Alex 50:24
No, I definitely at that point, it was very much like a two year ish kind of window of questioning and we weren't together that whole time. Like, I don't want it. I don't want people out there going to use this poor guy.

Scott Benner 50:38
Oh, my gosh, Alex, did you help him out? Otherwise?

Alex 50:46
He's happily married. I think he's got a kid or two.

Scott Benner 50:48
No, I'm sure he's thrilled to be away from you. That's not what I'm sorry.

Alex 50:52
Yeah, we can talk more about that off air and people aren't gonna you know, that conversation. But ya know, neither one of us are gold stars. Okay, which I'm sure.

Scott Benner 51:02
got it figured out. Yeah, for sure. It's so Oh, that's interesting. I do have more questions. Like, did you like, did you just like, oh, you put in so much time, where you tried to give them a like a favor at the end? Or were you really like, I'm just wanting to know, if you were like, let me find out. I'll do this and see if I'm really it's not for me. You know,

Alex 51:22
I'm trying to like,

Scott Benner 51:23
I like to you don't remember?

Alex 51:25
Back? They're like, Well, I'm that's yeah, I mean, like, that wasn't? Yeah, it was it was a meaningful experience. And also, I think I had like known more than that, that I was a lesbian. So I think it was just more. I don't want to say like, yeah, like confirmation, but kind of, maybe kind of a little bit. I'm not exactly sure,

Scott Benner 51:51
Alex, I know. I know how to handle this. If there are any guys out there listening who are gay, but try to Lady to make sure it was real. Please get a hold of me because you'll be way more fun to talk about this with analysis. That's what I want to do. Okay, hopefully, I'll get a nice note from someone. You're being like an adult about this. I don't need that. I need ridiculous.

Alex 52:17
Hey, we can you know, even better yet next time you're visiting your brother. Let's go out from Mexican. I'll pick you up from the airport. We can talk about anything you want. Oh,

Scott Benner 52:25
my brother's being punished for moving to Wisconsin? I don't see him. That's all. He should have moved somewhere warm. If you want to see me. Do you understand? Fair enough. For all of you telling us about the lakes. It's not enough. I've seen the ocean. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I heard the legs. People tell me the legs are lovely. And then I really shouldn't see them. And I'm certain I'll visit my brother. Now that my mom's out there. I'll go.

Alex 52:52
Okay, okay, so so your mom's out with

Scott Benner 52:57
after her? Her cancer ordeal that so my mom was oddly getting ready to move to Wisconsin. And because my brother moved when he was young for college, and then ended up staying. And my mom's like, you know, I think I want to spend the last bit of my life with Brian. And I was like, Yeah, it sounds. I mean, definitely let them have you when it's really hard. That's the best time for us to say goodbye. But But no, it's sad. She moved but she's having a different experience with him and his family, which is all lovely. But I mean, I can get away with telling my brother to come back here or let's meet somewhere for a vacation. But I'm not like I can get away with asking my 80 year old mom to do that. So I guess I am going to end up with He tricked me into going to Wisconsin I guess. He got you honestly, I was supposed to speak in Wisconsin, right as COVID was happening. Obviously shut down pretty quickly. But yeah, I missed. I missed seeing Wisconsin by like two weeks because of COVID. Okay, would have been there anyway. What have we not gone over yet? Oh, the advocating piece? Like where have you found yourself having to do that?

Alex 54:05
Whether you are the type one or a mom or dad or caregiver? I think it's just so important to be able to stand up for yourself in anything. I mean, diabetes? Yes, of course. Because it could have very serious side effects. Or, you know, I mean, going low or staying too high. You know, we all know that there's so many dangers in that. Then I think once you're out of the terror of like that new diagnosis and you kind of get a rhythm and you're like, Okay, this isn't always going to be scary. I think it's very easy to then discount, like, how important it still is. So, I mean, I went through college in high school without any sort of, like 504 plans weren't really a thing. I to a private school, I was very lucky that my teachers were just accommodating. But college like no one in like any student housing or anything like that knew really that I was diabetic. And I know that you can now go and let people know like what accommodations you need. And I think just because I didn't utilize that doesn't mean it wasn't important. I think you need to advocate for what you need. And I think it will lead to so many more in our community having better mental health and better just conversations about it as a whole, I think a lot of us, you know, hide it without even meaning to, and I don't think it has to be that way.

Scott Benner 55:46
And I actually said something a second ago, that I'll push back on, but in a in a way that you'll understand in a second. You said like, you know how dangerous or concerning lows are like everybody knows that. But I just got back from a speaking engagement in person where I was fairly stunned by the amount of people who did not understand the implications of low blood sugar people who either had type one, or were the spouses of a type one, they just didn't know. There was really something I was stunned, obviously. And then in the middle of a talk that I was giving about something else. I took five minutes to educate everybody on that. So I was like, not the favorite person for five minutes. You know, I'm like, like, No, I'm like, blood sugar's go down, they get too low, you have a seizure. If they can, and you go low, then there's not enough sugar in your blood and your brain shuts off, and then you're gone. And then somebody said, but then you drink your juice. And I went, No, no, no, you're just gone. And a lot of like, shocked, looks in the room, but I just I, I saw it happening. And I thought, well, someone's gonna have to tell them. I didn't relish it being me. But I just thought it's, I mean, we're all here. Like, let's do it. Now. You know, we talked everybody through it. I told him like, like, it's not like, it's obviously definitely going to happen or anything like that. But it's a possibility. And I just think you should know about it. So then that move the conversation to glucagon. I was stunned by the amount of people who don't have glucagon. If they have it. They don't carry it with them. You know, I don't know. It just threw me off. So.

Alex 57:27
And I, I appreciate that pushback. Because yeah, I guess I take it for granted that that is something that I know. But to that point, there are probably lots of people who don't understand how it works, even living with it, which is scary to

Scott Benner 57:43
think then you find somebody who does know about it. They're like, Yeah, I've never used it. So then it's that like, well, then people are like, Oh, well, then what do I need it for? Like you need it for? It's like wearing a seatbelt? Honestly, it's you don't wear a seatbelt for all the times you don't crash your car. That's not how it works. And I don't know, I think I got through them. And the people that were in the event were very kind afterwards because a couple of people complained, you know, like, he's in there talking about dying. And I'm like, well, first of all, I wasn't talking about that this came up. And I you know, I told you that the reality of it. But the people that run the the event were like no, like, we appreciate that you did that. And that must have been difficult. And thank you. That's a cool, cool, level headed people. Excellent. So that was pretty cool. Did you like being pregnant? The experience of it?

Alex 58:32
I did. I really enjoyed it. I know not everybody has that experience. And I respect that. But I really enjoyed it. That doesn't mean it was smooth sailing the entire time. But I we are not having more children. But I would I would be open to hearing again.

Scott Benner 58:53
No, I mean, I just talked to you a minute ago. And there's just a picture of you pregnant with a look on your face that made me think Man, she loved that. Like it wasn't

Alex 59:01
the one or quite honestly. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 59:08
when you're about halfway through being pregnant, right about there. Yeah.

Alex 59:12
That would have been October and our son was born end of January. So that's actually at the diabetes camp that I volunteer at. Tell me about that. It's a really great experience. I know camp is not for everybody. So I'm not saying everybody should go. And if it's something your kid would benefit from, it's how I describe it to non diabetic people. Is it is the coolest, heartbreaking experience that I do every year like it's so cool because there are up to 150 kids for one week, who are all going through the same thing. They all understand what it means they're not having to re explain what their low blood sugar means like it Just they get to be a kid and the diabetes gets to go on the background. But it's heartbreaking. Because inevitably, about halfway through the week, I look around and I go, Jesus, there's 130 kids here, and they're all diabetic like that, that breaks my heart. So it's a really cool experience. Wisconsin Lyons camp, is who hosts it in Wisconsin. They have a beautiful campground, they have amazing staff. It's a really great week for the kids. And they, some of them come the first time never seen another type one kid, and they leave with like a core group of like best friends and I, I can't say enough good things about it. It's so

Scott Benner 1:00:42
great things just happened. One, you said, Wisconsin, very Wisconsin, which I enjoyed you were like your That was fantastic. And then the thing about the way you said, you know, they don't have to explain things to other people, right, because everybody already knows. I thought a little more about that, as you were talking. And that's a lot about language. Like you don't show up at a gathering and have to explain to people that you're breathing, you don't mean that it's an we're to look at them and think, Oh, I'm breathing. And they're breathing, but I'm doing it differently. And they don't understand that like no, that all just that all fades away, right there. Yeah, that must be the best part of it. And that the other thing that you talked about, about the kind of the heartbreaking nature of it is actually, Arden is done at her children's hospital now because she is an adult, and they told her to get out. But they actually said you need to find an adult and they didn't say get out. But that's what they meant. This Yeah, semantics. So we go to what had gone to a satellite office for a really major Children's Hospital. And I hate having to go to the appointments at the Children's Hospital. Because you just walk in, and so many different disease states, so many little kids, so many tired parents like, like smiling when their kids are looking at them. And when the kids aren't looking and they just look like they're gonna run their head through a wall, like that kind of thing. And I find it difficult to be there. So yeah, yeah, it's just somehow amazing institutions that are helping so many people, and I find it to be like, it's like the saddest place on earth. I just can't, but I have trouble being there. So the satellite offices for me, it's just the way better. Anyway. Well, that's very nice. How long have you been donating your time to the camp?

Alex 1:02:39
I have been volunteering with them this 10 or 11 years now.

Scott Benner 1:02:45
That's really nice. Okay, I love how to you're just at the right age where you apologize to everybody before you say anything. I enjoyed. You didn't say I enjoyed being prednisone. I know some people don't like it, but I enjoyed it. And you're like, I know some people don't want to go to camp. But if you don't have to do that, hear Alex. It's okay. Just say what you think. I appreciate that. Yep. We're not gonna. We're not We're not worried. There's no woke mob coming for you, Alex. It's fine.

Alex 1:03:13
No, and it takes so much to offend me or push me a little too far. So even if they did come back, fine.

Scott Benner 1:03:19
I figured you could I tried in the middle and you were fine. So there's just this whole moment, my brains like, we have to understand better how they made the baby. I don't know. I mean, it just has to be Oh, my gosh, no. Well, somebody's not talking about I'm sorry. You got me. Too, delighted by you. I've lost my, my professional edge. Do I have a professional?

Alex 1:03:47
You do? And I think you're you're maintaining it pretty? Well, I think the two of us just seem to have a good time. And we're having a good conversation. I mean, yeah, you know, lived my entire life with diabetes. So I'm sure if you ask enough questions, you'll hit on different things if you wanted to.

Scott Benner 1:04:05
Okay, well, I do want to know then, what the difference is between modern management and what you are accustomed to till you were 12, like it rearview mirror kind of description of diabetes, where it's common, why it's important.

Alex 1:04:23
I hate to think that people are being diagnosed at the intense numbers that we're seeing. And I think, if you are going to be diagnosed now is the better time than any. And I know that's weird to say, because I'm sure in five years we'll have even more insanely advanced technology, but I really enjoy that I was able to grow up and kind of go through life with the management I had given. There were some hurdles of course, but I think because it also allows me to not hyper fixate and my CGM. So in 30 years I've been with Medtronic tandem. I'm currently on the Omnipod. Five with with Dexcom. And I really love it. And my first closed loop experience was with Medtronic system. And I'll be honest, I went into it thinking I'm gonna hate it. Like, I have gotten my thoughts where I've gotten it this far. Why do I need the machine to do it for me, and I let go of that control really quickly, a lot faster than I anticipated, which I thought was really cool. And if my system were to fail, at some point, I have the skills where I'd be able to move on in, you know, fix it until they got replaced. So if I needed a new controller or Dexcom went haywire, I'd be able to make it a day or two, with very little struggle. I mean, like, I'd probably grumble about it, like, Oh, I got to do shots. But I'd be able to do it, and it would be okay. So I think for me that that really worked out. But I think it's amazing. We you know what we have, I think it's incredibly helpful. I say that I'd be able to put things away. But if my son were to be diagnosed tomorrow, I would be calling everybody to get him on a Dexcom as fast as I possibly can. So I love and respect everything that is out there. And I enjoy knowing that I've got a lot of skills in my pocket that I think some kids don't we did an activity at camp a couple years ago with the cabin I was working with and said, Okay, your pumps don't work right now. You guys have to do the math to figure out your carb counts and insulin for for the dinner. And I was a little scared. Everyone was like deer in headlights. They looked at us like, Well, no, our pump does that. And we're like, we know, but like, if your pump failed right now. And I like but our pump does

Scott Benner 1:07:08
that. That's not gonna happen lady plus the UPS guy. I don't know if you heard he brings everything. So it.

Alex 1:07:15
And that's, that's basically. So we like walked him through like how to, you know, figure it out. And then obviously, we let them use their pump to see you know how close and to actually give the Bolus. But I did leave that conversation going, you know, what we, I think we have to do a little bit better about at least letting them know how the pump is getting to these results. But they were they were 13 and 14 year old girls, and most of them

Scott Benner 1:07:40
didn't know what their acitivity was or what it how it translated to decisions or anything like that.

Alex 1:07:47
Yeah, so I mean it and that's okay. You know, if you don't need the information, you don't need it. Like there's no point in having it necessarily for like a what if and, you know, I would assume mom or dad has that information. But we just thought it'd be kind of a fun, quote unquote, activity, you know, for one meal, and, oh, the pushback we got was,

Scott Benner 1:08:08
I don't know how to get away, leave me alone. Well, I work when we make adjustments to art in settings, which we haven't, in a while, things have been going very smoothly. So I probably should have said that. I'm not, I'm not superstitious at all. And I still was like, Oh, God, don't say I shouldn't said that out loud. But like, That's why I'll text her and I'll be like, hey, you know, we're gonna make some changes in your pump, like, just FaceTime me for a second. And like, now, by the way, the screen sharing on FaceTime even, like, you know, she's making changes to like, our loop algorithm. It's all like, right there. And I'm like, Okay, so we're gonna make your insulin sensitivity 43. And I know, you know, and I just say the same stuff over and over again, I'm like, I know that we're going from 44 to 43. But just remember, that's making it stronger, not weaker. You know, let's make your Basal this at night. Because we're seeing this happen. I just figure if I keep saying the why I'm doing it as I'm doing it. Like, she'll have no choice but to understand it. You know, like, I'll kind of like, trick, I mean, not for nothing. I'm basically tricking her to take care of herself, like, sort of like the way I'm tricking all of you into doing it. By like having conversations and bringing stuff up here and there and letting it drop in and fade away and bring it back. And I think it's working but I am now fascinated if I said to her, like do a meal. But you know what she swags Boy, that's not a word I ever use to people no swag. She guesses her carbs. So well. I bet you she could do it. But But if she had to know the math of it for a correction, I think she'd come up with the answer, but I don't think she'd know why she was at the answer mathematically. That makes sense.

Alex 1:09:47
No, that's, I feel like I mean, she's had it 16

Scott Benner 1:09:54
She's almost 17 years. In a couple a couple more.

Alex 1:09:59
I feel like some of It does become just so second nature. I mean, how can it not after day to day and like so many times throughout the day? I think that was yes, I can I can get her if she's not doing the math, she could at least come close, probably within a half a unit. I think that makes sense to me.

Scott Benner 1:10:19
Let me ask you this, right now appear to know what you do for a living. Are you willing to talk about it?

Alex 1:10:25
Absolutely. I'm surprised it took this long.

Scott Benner 1:10:28
When I was a kid, and we were young, and we're graduating from high school, and people are getting ready to go to college and go into work and stuff. My buddy's like, I'm going to become a funeral director. And I'm like, yeah, and he goes, Yeah, man, for sure. And I was like, why? And he goes, I have a job right till the end. And I'm like, what he goes, people aren't gonna stop dying. I'll always have money. It's like, Well, okay, rock solid thought. And so. But here, I'm going to tell you his best story, that I want to hear that I want to give your best story. He was once preparing a body. And he found things stuffed in the person's throat. And they came to he saw he solved a murder. Oh my gosh. So while he's preparing the body, he saw something way down in the throat. And he got it out. And then what ended up happening was a young This is such a crazy story. But a young neighbor of an older person murdered this older person by like shoving a rag down their throat and something else. And it was so gone from sight that they just assumed the person just died. Wow. Oh, my friend solved a murder.

Alex 1:11:45
That's good for him. That is cool, fantastic. Child.

Scott Benner 1:11:50
Have you ever solved a murder? Alex? That's what I'm asking.

Alex 1:11:53
I have no, I have not solved a murder. I feel like I need to step up. My game.

Scott Benner 1:12:00
Did you just think oh my gosh, I've never looked down everybody's throat. I wonder how many murdered people I didn't find?

Alex 1:12:06
No, you know, I mean, okay, so I don't work in the prep room is often anymore. If anyone in the prep room is listening to this, they'll be like, you never work in the prep room. It's been a long time. So I'm not the one who typically gets people ready for their services I used to, and I did really enjoy that part of, of the profession. But no, now I'm gonna ask our team like, Hey, why aren't we solving any emergency?

Scott Benner 1:12:35
Why is nobody trying hard enough? Are you being you're just what's it like? Being around deceased bodies? I don't even know how to use the phrasing wrong. Probably. Right. I was gonna say dead bodies. And that seemed harsh than deceased bodies seems I mean, just the deceased, right? What should I say? First of all?

Alex 1:12:55
No, you're good. I would say this is probably the softest way of saying that because

Scott Benner 1:13:01
I've watched my friend who he lives in the funeral home above the funeral home, which is not uncommon. By the way, if you've seen six feet under on HBO,

Alex 1:13:08
I lived in the home, I work at this. There's a beautiful apartment in this space above our funeral home that's reserved for the apprentices typically. So when I was an apprentice and early director, I lived up above there, it's got its pros.

Scott Benner 1:13:26
Or the cons that there are six bodies in the basement at all times, or what's the cons, ultimately, that

Alex 1:13:33
even if it's not your weekend on call, if there's a funeral, like you're expected to, you know, get the flower door open and kind of if something happens, you're the one that kind of has to attend to it, which fortunately, things don't typically happen. But you'll get, you know, a call on the weekend to go, Hey, I've got a family dropping off clothes, can you make sure the doors open? You know, tomorrow at noon? It's like, sure didn't have plans or anything. But yeah, I can make that happen here.

Scott Benner 1:14:00
So what's always stunned me about his life is that, you know, he moved in there, he's had three children, they raised his children in that house, they're so comfortable with death, like just and not in a morbid or creepy way. It's just a, it's just such I've always thought of it as a good thing. Like, they're just like to see little children playing hide and seek around caskets, or like, you know, or when you have an event with a bunch of people to get together. And it's his turn to host. And you're having dinner in the same room where there are services because that's where the space and the tables are and stuff like that. Like it's a really different experience, but it becomes very normal very quickly.

Alex 1:14:39
It does, and I think so one of the foster kiddo who we still see on weekends, if they, when they were living with us, no, probably like nine or 10 at the time, and because they were at an age to understand kind of What I do not maybe the specifics, but they've at least heard a funeral directors before. And there was one day I came home from work, and they asked, so who died today? And it was meant in a very, like, I'm trying to connect with you and ask about your day. But we're like, okay, that's, Let's not ask that. Like, that's not, that's not the question that we're gonna go with. But I am a firm believer that you shouldn't shield children away from death, that at an age appropriate level, there needs to be a conversation. And if there's not, that's how you end up with 30 year olds who won't go to a funeral. And I think that's really hard for a lot of people. Because you, you know, you want to protect your kids. And I understand that. But shielding them from everything doesn't exactly prepare them, you know, for later on. So what is your way to story? Oh, that's a good one. I don't know that it would be many people weirdest, but it was day one on the job. So it really sticks in my head. We had a family whose loved one passed away, he was probably in his late 30s. And they donated his his organs and tissues. And what that means, sometimes is that they will take your arm and leg bones as well. So I had to watch right had an opportunity to watch how they dress this guy who is really nothing more than his trunk and appendages. But those were replaced now with PVC pipes to hold shape. And I remember thinking, what the heck did I get myself into. And I think I'm going to do this for a really long time. So it was weird enough that it definitely will always stick with me as like first day on the job. This is what we're leading with. But not enough that it scared me off.

Scott Benner 1:17:04
Here's the thing that has so far in my life of all the things that my friend has shared with me. The thing that's, like, weirded me out the most. Is that for women of a certain breast size, he stitches the he stitches the breast together so they stand up in the coffin.

Alex 1:17:26
Yep, yeah. You that yeah, that's like a trick of the train. Yeah, there's

Scott Benner 1:17:33
that was just so I just see it though. I was like, Oh, okay. Is it? Can I ask a question? Why do you have to embalm a body to cremate it? You know, you don't have to?

Alex 1:17:45
Okay. No, you don't. So at least in the state of Wisconsin, if the only reason you would have to be embalmed is if you were having an open casket service more than 24 hours after a person passed away, or if they were being sent out of state. So in order now, minus any religious reasoning, so if someone passes away in Wisconsin, and is going back home for a funeral, we would have to involve here before getting them on the plane

Scott Benner 1:18:16
to cost the UPS body across the country.

Alex 1:18:21
Right now, you're looking at about 2500

Scott Benner 1:18:27
Oh, Mom, you're getting buried in Wisconsin?

Alex 1:18:31
Yeah, right now. I mean, that also depends. So I mean, we have milk. So I work in South Milwaukee. And South Milwaukee has a pretty strong affiliation with like lacrosse, a lot of people from the lacrosse area moved to this outside of Milwaukee for a lot of factory jobs. So we oftentimes are going anywhere, you know, from lacrosse to the cities. And we'll weigh out the cost difference. Like if it's going to be cheaper to drive, like to lacrosse or Minnesota. We'll just make the trip. So sometimes, driving is easier. I think we've driven to Indiana. Yeah, like for your mom's example, I don't know that it's going to be more cost effective to drive her back East. But yeah, it'll end I mean, it depends on gas prices and airline flights and stuff like that.

Scott Benner 1:19:30
I just want to be cremated. I have to be honest. I Yeah. You know, what just happened that was really funny is that apparently Lacrosse is a town in Minnesota. But when you started saying it, you said a lot of people from lacrosse, like moved here and I'm like, wait, people who play lacrosse showed up in South was kind of like, Alright, no, no, that doesn't make sense. So then I then I started thinking, Is she mispronouncing the, I think there's a cos in France like is maybe she's mispronouncing that. And then eventually I'm like Oh, there's just another town called the cross some Crosse, Wisconsin. Okay. My brain just kept stepping through the conversation trying to find out what you were talking about. And I was all over the place. At one point, I thought, isn't there a clothing manufacturer with a name like that? Like maybe people who work there moved there for the job?

Alex 1:20:18
wasn't very clear. Yeah. along the Mississippi and the Wisconsin side, but

Scott Benner 1:20:26
wait, now you're really freaking me out the Mississippi rivers in Wisconsin.

Alex 1:20:29
It Yeah, it starts up but goes right along, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and then all the way down.

Scott Benner 1:20:36
Holy Hell, we're learning stuff today. Okay. See, ya. By the way, I'm at a point now I don't even know what this is about. There's no way this they I can't name this episode, anything. It's ridiculous. We're all over the place. I love it, though.

Alex 1:20:49
We'll come up with something. And I should I do love the funeral directing. I am very happy to still be a licensed director. I'm, I'm actually in the process of going back to school. But I don't think I will ever not be somehow involved with funeral service.

Scott Benner 1:21:07
I'm going to ask you a weird question that I think relates to something diabetes, we'll see if it goes for you. i Oh, okay. So I'm going to I don't know what the position is that to talk about it. But like, so I make this podcast to help people, right. But it's a business too. And it makes money. And it makes money through advertising. So there are times when you're in meetings, talking about advertising, and it feels wrong to be talking about it because it's people's health. Right. And so I'm always very conflicted. Anytime I sit in the meeting, and they're talking about like, penetration for the podcast, listen through rates, like how far are they listening through? Do they share it? What states are you like, strongest? And like when there's questions like that, I just, I'm like, my mind is gone. I just want to help people. This is how I pay for it. It's okay, I make my living this way. It's all right, like, but it always feels wrong. You're oddly in a sales position as a funeral director. And I'm wondering how you, like, how do you deal with that moment?

Alex 1:22:07
It is really tricky. And one it's some point someone in my life made a very simple, but poignant statement of you can't spend other people's money. So the good thing is we are not like a commission based, like funeral home. So whether you buy the cheapest or most expensive stuff, it does not matter to me, even if it was commissioned, it would not matter to me. Whatever works for your loved one is what I'm going to do for you. My job is to make I want to see you happy, because you're never going to be happy with a funeral per se, but kind of like me. You guys hopefully know what I mean.

Scott Benner 1:22:54
Yeah, no, I understand. I just, it's, you're in a unique position to know how I feel. So I was wondering about that.

Alex 1:23:01
Yeah, no, it's definitely it's definitely weird. And money definitely needs to be discussed. But yeah, like, it's, it's very strange. I can't say enough about rearranging like, you know, if, if you're in a position to do so, that makes it a lot easier for your family, and for the funeral home. Like you get to say what you want, you get to pick your stuff out. And then it does make that money conversation a lot easier.

Scott Benner 1:23:33
Okay. Have you ever seen an argument between, like children, like one of them wants to bury mom was something expensive? And the other one's like, don't put that in there? Either. They

Alex 1:23:41
every family's got a dynamic, and that's fine. I mean, my family has their own dynamic, too. But oh, yeah, like we've had people walk out of arrangements we've had, like you. It's always sad when someone's passing is viewed by a family member is a paycheck. And if you can see for those people, even when they're trying to not make it seem like that, you can tell, oh, you're, you're not choosing to do what your parents wanted, because you're hoping for a bigger payout like that. That sucks. Like, that's hard.

Scott Benner 1:24:18
You know, one of the things that I've learned in the last couple of years that threw me off, which seems similar, is that when my mom after my mom's surgery, she had to go to like a facility where she could rehab but also they could help take care of her right. And this place was also like it's a home where people end up sometimes living for the rest of their lives. The stories from the staff, that people come in big smiles, they drop off their parents, and I'll see you tomorrow mom, blah, blah, blah, and then they never come back. And not just not I'm not saying they don't visit. They ghost the place. They don't pay the bill. They literally just abandon their parents there. That's a freak one occurrence.

Alex 1:25:01
That is terrible. That is just horrendous.

Scott Benner 1:25:05
I just I didn't know what to think of that. And my buddy helped me find a place for my mom, my buddy's a funeral director, because he said, Listen, you can tell a lot about these places about how the areas of the building that the public can't see are kept. And it's like, I come in the back, I come in downstairs, this place is very clean. The people are respectful behind the scenes. This is a place I think that's how we ended up picking where my mom went.

Alex 1:25:33
Absolutely. I have people periodically asked me questions about, you know, Mom's going on hospice, you know, is there somewhere you would recommend? And usually let them know where I would not recommend? But you have to, you know, you got to be careful, because people, yeah, you know, you got to be careful on how you make recommendations. But I, yeah, people. And I tell people ask away, I will let you know if I would not trust my family member somewhere.

Scott Benner 1:26:06
No, no, it's interesting to get like a backroom view of it. And from a funeral directors where I got it from, which is both sad and obvious, I think at the same time. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Okay. All right, Alex, you're terrific. I am, I'm in the position where I feel like we could do this forever, which eventually, it'll get too long. Not for me. By the way, I could easily listen to a three hour podcast, but not everybody is me. So I stopped them. Right? Yeah. Some people like there's no short ones, or they've been getting long lately. Like, Oh,

Alex 1:26:38
okay. Yeah. And then one setting. I mean, you can get caught

Scott Benner 1:26:41
breaking a little. That's all I listened to something this morning. And I paused it to do this. And we go, pause, just make sure you come back and get through the ads. Because if you don't get to the ads, and my listen through rate goes to hell, and then it's hard to you know, anybody support the podcast? I don't mind if you fall asleep listening to it, as long as the player keeps rolling. And those of you while I'm making my pitches as those of you who listen and a spouse listens, and you listen on the same device, you're killing me. Okay. Oh, my God, downloaded on another app for the other is two people. I deserve two downloads. i Oh, my goodness. Alex, nobody understands my problems. What do you think people will remember about this episode when I when I blurted out that I'm not bringing my mom home because it cost $2,500 to move her.

Alex 1:27:34
We've got a lot of different points in this.

Scott Benner 1:27:39
We went, we went from like, we went from a lesbian couple artificially inseminated themselves at home in a DIY situation to how you bury people and stitch their breasts together, so they look nice. And I used to hold about the pipes in the in the oh my god, this is all

Alex 1:27:57
points. People could be like, well, this lady's not for me.

Scott Benner 1:28:01
No, I think you were terrific. Yay. No, this was wonderful. I had a great time. Are you kidding? Stop it. I'm the arbiter of what's okay. By the way, I get to decide. You don't like it? Don't listen. Although please keep listening. I'd really again, nevermind. Anything. I forgot to ask you anything you want to say?

Alex 1:28:18
I don't think so. I think we we did a good job. I think if anyone is able to take anything out of our wonderful conversation, I hope if there's newly diagnosed families listening, I hope they feel a little bit better knowing your kiddo is going to be okay. Like,

Scott Benner 1:28:38
no 100% and bind to a foster child like you're fostering children. Like I don't I don't I'm not that kind. I know. I'm not. I want to think I am. But I don't know. I don't think I know I'm adopted. How bizarre is that? It's a strange thing. Could I do it? It didn't? I don't know. It never came up in my life. That's not the point. The point is, is that it seems it seems like such a kindness to me. Like I almost feel like I don't know that I'm that kind. In case there's not a lot. It's a lot of right.

Alex 1:29:15
I mean, because of the trauma that is involved in fostering and adapting world. It actually led my wife to the career that she's on. And she helps keep families together ultimately is what she does. She helps families who who need help in navigating their kids behavior. She She does some really cool things. I've a lot of people say they couldn't do what I do as a funeral director. There's no way that I could do what she does. So you're right. I mean, fostering is a is a wild and intense thing to do.

Scott Benner 1:29:57
The first time my kid was like, really annoying. I was like, Oh, well, I now I know why they the they make you love them so much like so because I want them to leave. You know, it's very upsetting.

Alex 1:30:10
And if you don't always necessarily like, oh, well,

Scott Benner 1:30:14
no, I actually liked my son. I'm just saying the first time he did something where I was like, What the hell is this? Like you realize like, well, it doesn't matter. Like, he can't go anywhere like, you don't I mean, like we're gonna figure this all out. But when it's somebody else's child, I'm wondering if you're like, Wow, this didn't work out, you can go now. But but a lovely answered on the list. By the way, I can tell what a good time I'm having with you. Because the funny part of my brain is still working, because you're saying something very serious. And you're like, that's what, what led my wife to the job she's in and my brain thought human trafficking?

Like no, that would have people would have been like, Alright. Oh, that's fun. That's money. Thank you. I don't know. Like, again, I've said it before. I'll say it again. I'm letting you hear about 40% of my thoughts, the rest of them would really throw you off. Nevertheless, thank you so much for doing this. Can you hold on one second for me? Absolutely. Thanks.

Hey, I really want to thank Alex for coming on the show and sharing her fantastic story and having such a good time with me. And I just want to remind you about all of the great content that lives inside of the Juicebox Podcast, go find it. Look on the private Facebook group, check out juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top. There's so much great information. Actually, I didn't mention it earlier. But in the private Facebook group in the feature tab. There are lists of all these episodes with corresponding episode numbers on them so you could find them very easily in your audio apps. Speaking of that, podcast is completely free. Just subscribe on Apple podcast Spotify, or wherever you get your audio and dig right in. I don't talk about this stuff with frequency but the Juicebox Podcast is number 16. Today in the United States of America medicine category on Apple podcasts. It is number 16. It also ranks in I can't count all these but the last time I looked over 45 Other countries that's top 200 And over 45 other countries. Number 16 In the US, number 80 in Sweden, number 67 in Ireland 60. In Denmark 92. In New Zealand, it's 199. In Switzerland today it was 180 in Saudi Arabia the other day it's an Austria, South Africa, Portugal, the Philippines, Argentina were 83 today 62 In Malaysia, 58 and Romania. Oh my gosh. Number 12 and Bahrain, number 56. In Oh my gosh. Sorry, that confused me. I'm in. We're in the top 200 of all podcasts in Bahrain, we're number 15. In Qatar, Bulgaria, Iceland, Egypt, Romania, Slovenia, Nigeria, the United Arab Emirates, Malaysia, the Czech Republic, Finland Hungary, Simcoe, Singapore excuse me, Israel, Argentina, Hong Kong, Philippines, Portugal, Poland, Belgium, India, South Africa, Austria. It goes on and on and on Japan, Italy, Canada, South Korea, Australia, France, anywhere you can think of this podcast is being consumed. I don't even speak Italy. You know what I'm saying? It's crazy. Last thing I'm going to tell you is this. I'm just gonna scroll down here to reviews I'm gonna go to the most recent reviews. This one's from five days ago. Most of us living with or supporting someone with type one diabetes have an occasional wonky glucose day, the day when all the tools in the toolbox don't seem to help. The day when we go to bed with small voice in our head that says we'll try again tomorrow, the wonky days or when I turn to the Juicebox Podcast. The next one so helpful, easy. And excuse me so helpful especially for newly diagnosed people. My seven half year old son was diagnosed with type one three years months ago. The first thing I did was turn to social media for support every single group I joined suggested the Juicebox Podcast. I love Scott's we go V diary. I love the weego V diary as part of the podcast. This is the best resource for type one diabetes information my young adult child was diagnosed last year it's so important to me that I learned all I can on it on the podcast is a game changer. This type ones need Juicebox Podcast I've been a diabetic this says for 40 years. Oh my god Scott has hit a home run but this podcast type one for 40 years diabetes educator with nursing background twin Mom who works in the diabetes world here, this series has answered. So much has answers and so much more. It's always real talk. I've learned laugh related, shared and maybe shed a few tears. That person's talking about the Pro Tip series juicebox podcast.com diabetes pro tip.com 26 episodes. Listen to them. Let this get easier. It's free. Just go check it out. Tell a friend if you enjoyed it. Tell your doctor literal Lifesaver excellent podcast heavenly bits. huge help. This person doesn't like me but we'll skip over that too much information never so helpful entertaining and informative. Life changing Game Changer masterclass and type one diabetes management. Scott is the same that's not true. I'm not a same great resource game changer. Life changing funny and relatable. Why am I just finding this? Someone here called me a chauvinist? I don't think that's true. A Game changer. So helpful life changing information. My my I'm coming to write a review because my brother in law has certainly learned so much from your podcast. He looks incredible and feels great. Thanks for making this content available to everyone. I could do this all day with you read these over and over again. And about every 50 somebody really wouldn't like me, this person calls me self centered. That seems unfair, but whatever. Actually, two of the people that don't like me are from Great Britain. Do I not go over in the Great Britain as well? Hold on, let's scroll. I'm sorry, at this point, no Great Britain number 88. It's just two wackos. Nevermind. What am I saying here? Please check out the podcast. There's so much information inside of the show. That's why it's broken up in those series in digestible ways for you. I really think that you can get the agency and the time and range and the happiness and the health that you deserve and want. I think the answers are inside of the show. I hope you go find them.

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#1054 Parenting: Understanding Parenting Styles

Scott and Erika talk about understanding parenting styles - the pros and cons of authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, authoritative and the impact they have.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android  -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1054 of the Juicebox Podcast

welcome back to my parenting series with Erica Forsythe. Today's episode is understanding parenting styles. There are a number of different parenting styles, not just ones to choose from you actually fall into one you may not even know it, you may fall into more than one. Today we're going to find out about those styles and the impacts that they have. Kind of look at the pros and cons of each. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Erica Forsythe is available to you at Erica forsythe.com Be sure to check her out. She's fantastic. Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, go find your community. People are out there they're looking to help you. And they may just need your help to Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook, make a friend or don't lurk around. I don't care use it however you want. Speaking of using things however you want, go check out the diabetes Pro Tip series. It's at diabetes pro tip.com juicebox podcast.com. We're running right now between Episode 1001 1026 In your audio player. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies from and you can to us med.com/juice box go there now get your free benefits check and get started. If you don't want to use the internet, that's fine. Pick up the phone 888-721-1514. That number is especially for Juicebox Podcast listeners, give it a call, get going. The podcast is sponsored today by better help. Better help is the world's largest therapy service and is 100% online. With better help, you can tap into a network of over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists who can help you with a wide range of issues. Better help.com forward slash juicebox to get started, you just answer a few questions about your needs and preferences in therapy that way better help can match you with the right therapist from their network. And when you use my link, you'll save 10% On your first month of therapy. Erica, how are you?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:37
I'm doing well. Thanks. Good to see you. Today.

Scott Benner 2:41
Are you excited? We're going to start our first series together.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:45
I'm very excited. This is this is a special occasion. Yes,

Scott Benner 2:48
absolutely. It's like a holiday without gifts. So I came to America a little while ago. It's been a couple of months now I guess. And I said I'd love to do. I mean my first thing out of my mouth was I'd love to do a series about what you see with your job about parenting like styles good, bad, what works with us and where problems come from like all this stuff. And from that little bit of an idea, we build out a series. So this is the first episode. I don't even know that I know what we're going to call it yet. So I won't be able to say right now. But in today's episode, Erica and I are going to talk about understanding parenting styles. And by that I mean she's going to talk and I'm going to ask some silly questions. And that'll probably be it. So let me list them here because Eric has given them to me as an already I'm confused because two of them sound the same. Authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved and authoritative. And that's the order. We're going to do them in today.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:50
Yes, okay. Yes.

Scott Benner 3:52
So let's dig right in.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:54
Okay, let's dig right in. And I think just to preface that as you listen to our discussion on these styles to just be mindful of your your self talk. And if you find yourself, you know, going into, you know, a shame spiral or just really getting hard on yourself, as you listen to these different styles. Just want to remind you that we are, you know, neither Scott nor I are perfect parents, there's no such thing as perfect parenting. And we're just really hopeful in as we go through some of these styles and parenting strategies that it will be it'll be helpful and not hurtful. And just to be kind to yourself as we go through these these different styles.

Scott Benner 4:36
Yeah, I will, like just come out and say my whole idea behind this, is that tardy hard enough to be a parent, and then your child's diagnosed with, you know, an incurable disease or you have one and you still have to be apparent to somebody. You know, these things are easy. They easily can get away from you, and become backburner stuff that you just think good is good. Enough, you don't, you know, you don't step back and see yourself anymore and a lot of spiraling can happen. And if you're not paying attention to those things, and communication breaks down and relationships fall apart, it's pretty likely that you'll stop taking care of your health along that way too. So that's why I thought it was important. But anyway, authority Parian. Is that right? Yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:23
Yes. So, and one more quick intro that Dr. Diana baumrind. I hope I'm saying that correctly. Introduced, she noticed, she's a psychologist in the 1960s, studying at Cal Berkeley, she noticed that there were these styles of behaviors and personalities and preschoolers. And through her research, she noticed that there were reflective of certain parenting styles. And then in the 1980s, Dr. McCabe, McCabe and Martin introduced, expanded the model. So that's where these terms came from those psychologists, so starting off with authoritarian is that that's we're starting off

Scott Benner 6:06
with correct Absolutely, while I'm googling it, so I can keep Okay. Okay.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:09
So, authoritarian parents, just to give an example, they might be overheard saying, Because I said so. And I you say that emphasis they are really believe in rules, they often will feel like it's, you know, it's either your way their highway type of parenting, and you, if you see your child exhibiting a certain behavior, you will follow through with certain punishment or discipline, and often emphasize that you know, you've made the rules, you're going to enforce the consequences, and you aren't really engaging the child in learning or correcting the behavior, but rather just focusing on hey, I'm the parent, I'm in charge, you said it in that you said, this particular thing in that tone, or you did this behavior, and now you're going to be punished. The children might be responding in a way that they might become more hostile or aggressive. If you're if you're leaning into an authoritarian type of parenting.

Scott Benner 7:19
Do some children, not like not want to be told what to do? But some like it, though, right? Not to say it's a great style or not, but some people want to be told what to do. Also, you find that,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:33
absolutely. So I think as we go through all these styles, yes, there are, you might hear something that we say, and you might remember yourself saying something, I'm sure I've said this as a parent, at some point, there isn't there's a time and place for maybe different aspects of these different styles. And creating really firm boundaries and expectations is healthy. And if you are authoritarian type of parent, you are going to really uphold that. And those that's a positive I think, where it can become confusing and create maybe some more problem, problematic behavior for the child later on, is the delivery and then not really spending a whole lot of time in that that warm nurturing space in the relationship with the child. So you are you are you are the parent, you have the rules, you're enforcing them. But there's no there's not a lot of time spent in the relationship building the trust building, that type of thing.

Scott Benner 8:32
Do people seem to have trouble? Being flexible or moving between these four styles? Like do I guess? Is it once an authoritarian, always authoritarian kind of a feeling?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 8:45
That's a great question. I think maybe naturally, you might lean into one type of style. And you also might be a response to how you were parented. As a child, you might do exactly the way you were, you might want to replicate that you might want to do the opposite. And so I would say stereotypically, as parents, we might kind of repeatedly and automatically lean into a certain style, but given the nature of our stress are exhausting our own physical and mental health, we might find ourselves popping in and out of different types of styles. But generally, I would say we might, you might lean into one more than the other. And these are sort of natural, you can't be it's not permanent, you can always change

Scott Benner 9:28
yes or no you could I mean, whether you will or not, I don't know but so my expectation is that the doctor you brought up earlier, she recognized these four buckets that people seem to fit into. And I as your I don't want to say what I'm gonna say yet look, I'm sorry. I'm gonna hold my thought till the end there, okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Okay, okay, so these, this could be more obedience discipline is this. Like, where? Like, how about yelling and like, is that all fit into This model,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:01
I would say yelling, if you, if you do practice more of a physical type of punishment, I would suggest that you probably heard authoritarian type of parent, you often maybe without intending to, you're you're wanting the kids to really feel sorry for the, for the mistakes or what they did. And really, you want them to really recognize that, again, it's not necessarily all bad all the time, we want our children to be able to understand that we maybe did or said something that was incorrect or, or cruel. But again, it's the delivery and the connection and the relationship that you have with the child is how you are parenting your child, whether it's authoritative or different style.

Scott Benner 10:45
Is there any situation or scenario you can think of where this is a positive? Or is this mostly a negative way of parenting people?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:55
I think there are certain, like thinking about like safety. Right? Where, you know, don't you do not run after the ball across the street without looking both ways? Or, you know, various you do not swim in the pool without an adult present, again, that I think those those are really strict because I said so well, you know, why? Why can I go swimming without a parent President? Well, because I said, so. And that's the rule. So I think, is that is that? Are you being authoritarian that moment?

Scott Benner 11:24
Because if you leave it up to them, their little soft minds might think their way out of it and go, Oh, you know, she said, we can't swim without somebody here. But Bill is here, he's nine, and we're all six. He's got us, like, you know, like, they could think their way through it and try to come up here. So it's, you want to leave them with a feeling like if I get in this pool, someone's coming at me? Like, I don't know, if it'll be, you know, I'm stuck in my room. I mean, some people might slap some, but I don't know, like, you know, what I mean, like screaming and yelling, like, you know, any anywhere in between, I guess, in that in that kind of, you know, from violence to just, you know, locked down, I guess. But if it works, and nobody drowns, that you kind of feel like, alright, well, it did work. And I think then that builds on your that can build on your problem, because here's a great example, the swimming thing, where we have firm rules, you have to follow them, there's no way around it. Great. But then as the parent, I guess, you see that work, and then all of a sudden, it's vacuum the room because I said, so like, because it's easier, and you're tired? Probably, you know,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:29
that's right. And and ultimately, it's, you know, you want to protect your child and out of fear and concern, you really want your child to obey that rule. I think where maybe the difference? Like, yes, are you being authoritarian in saying no swimming without an adult present? Because I said, so. But then if when your child disobeyed that rule, maybe where we would see a difference in parenting style is, is the consequences and like, yes, is your child going to have a consequence for disobeying? And then are you going to explain it, you know, you're gonna sit down and say, I love you, and I want you to be safe. And I know it's still so if you're about spending time validating why the child feels frustrated, or is just because I said, So in your room for an hour done. So you could have

Scott Benner 13:13
authoritarian expectations and lay the rules down in that in that vein, but if it goes wrong, you could respond not in an authoritarian way. Yes, I think that's probably the balance that you're trying to strike there. Right? That makes sense to me. Okay, so what are some of the negatives if you lean too hard into this? And I mean, is it child to child, like, meaning I first I want to just say, like, I'm not here telling you, I think you should hit people or anything like that. I'm not saying that. I'm just imagining some people do and try to speak kind of like broadly here. But is there a world where one of your kids is just out of their freakin mind? And like, this is the only thing they respond to? And in the moment, you know, it's not the right thing, but it's the only thing keeping them from seeing if they can jump from the patio, across the something into the pool or something like you don't I mean, like, what about the crazy kids? Like, what do you? I don't mean crazy, crazy. I mean, like, what about the ones that are like, a lot of energy and hard to handle, and you're pretty sure they're gonna end up under a car.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 14:16
I think you might even find as you give in this example, I'm thinking about parents and myself included who we might have different styles for different children, right, because of their personality, because of our energy level of when we, you know, did you have one child? And then five years later, you had your second year little bit older, you're tired, or did they present differently? And so, yes, I think there are certain aspects of each style that might fit more appropriately with your particular child and how they present. Ultimately, you always want to focus on building that relationship with the child. And that's so I think, yes, there might be certain examples, in which case, the authoritarian command and consequence may be appropriate. But not I would say not consistently.

Scott Benner 15:10
Erica, I find almost every one of our conversations frustrating, it's not because of you. It's got nothing to do with you. It's just about how the human mind works. Because I can't even envision a situation where you've got one kid who responds well to one style, and one kid that responds well to the other style. But one of the styles is you're locked in your room all the time, or you've taken one upside the head once or twice. And you look over at the other one you like, you just ask her what to do. And she just does it and everything's like, you're so great, but like, and how do you turn to the first kid and say, we have all that works for them? And you can't do that either. There's no winning if anyone's listening. What I'm trying to tell you is do not have children. That's my dad's. There's no winning this game. Erica doesn't believe that's true. I believe it's true. I don't think you can. I don't think you can win. I think you're mitigating that. I think you're always mitigating. You don't I mean, and it's okay, so, yes. I'm sorry, made Erica laugh, and she lost her train of thought. But tell me what, what are some of the real negatives of this? If you have a kid who doesn't respond well to this style, and you're using it on them? What could come of that? Everybody who has diabetes has diabetes supplies, but not everybody gets them from us med the way we do us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash, the number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide. And they always provide 90 days worth of supplies, and fast and free shipping. That's right us med carries everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, right up to your latest CGM, like the FreeStyle Libre two, n three, and the Dexcom, G six and seven. They even have Omni pod dash and Omni pod five, they have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and you can reach them at 888-721-1514 or by going to my link us med.com forward slash juicebox. When you contact them, you get your free benefits check. And then if they take your insurance, you're often going and US med takes over 800 private insurers and Medicare nationwide. better service and better care is what US med wants to provide for you. Us med.com forward slash juicebox get your diabetes supplies the same way Arlen does from us med links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors, when you use my links, you're supporting the show.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:56
I think part and most of this has been research based that children who are exposed to authoritarian parents, most of the time, they might grow up to feel like their their opinions, their feelings aren't necessarily considered or matter. They might present with either lower self esteem, sometimes they might become more hostile or aggressive in their play as younger kids and then as they get older, you know, in different types of behaviors they might become, they might just be really angry at you at themselves, because they never really understand like, why are they Why am I always told to do this thing, but I don't really understand it. So when I'm not when the child is not being able to have an opportunity to express how they feel or ask questions or learn. Then the kind of the automatic responses, I'm just gonna be angry. At my parents, I'm gonna be angry at myself, like probably swimming in a lot of shame. Sorry, go ahead

Scott Benner 19:01
and how does that carry into adulthood?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:03
I think that would be like as an adult, maybe not knowing how to properly identify and express how you feel. Probably having a lot of I'm not good enough type of thinking. No matter what I do, I'm not seen or valued or heard. Feeling a deal. That's like the lower self esteem type of talk.

Scott Benner 19:28
I can also see a feedback loop here. That's probably not great. Because if you're the parent, and you somehow either decide or you grew up this way, and you go with it, by the way saying that someone went with this parenting style, I think is ridiculous. I don't think anyone sits down and goes, I wonder how I'm gonna parent this kid. I think it just whatever comes out of your mouth was what comes out of your mouth, right? But if you decide authoritarians, the way to go, and the kid pushes back, then every time the kid pushes back, it reinforces your idea that they need this kind of thing. left down, right? Because look how they're hard. They're difficult like Bob like, But meanwhile, you could go with a different thing where they might just be like, oh, cool, alright. And you'll never know, because you won't think to try that one. Oh, okay.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:12
That's, that is really a great observation, because then you owe that. And then in your narrative, you might start to say, and, and you'll talk to your friends or your partner. Gosh, you know, Johnny's so stubborn. He's He's so strong willed. And we really need to, like crack down on on his tone and his behavior. And, yeah, and then itself kind of perpetuates itself.

Scott Benner 20:39
Okay, is there more to say about this? Or can we move on to the next,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:42
you know, I was just, I was trying to find I was gonna give some a data point, but I wanted to be able to reference it, that 20 In the US, it says roughly 26%, use the authority terrian parenting style, but I want to make sure as I go through the I will try and find

Scott Benner 21:01
what you think about is that you think you've seen about 26%.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:06
That's what this article says. And I want to make sure I can find where they got that. So I'll continue to look for that as well.

Scott Benner 21:12
While you're doing that, I'll move on. The next one is permissive parenting. I'm just gonna go from the internet is the type of parenting style characterized by low demands with high responsiveness. I already don't understand that sentence. Permissive parents tend to be very loving, yet provide few guidelines and rules. These parents do not expect mature behavior from their children, and often seem more like a friend than a parental figure that seemed more accurate to

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:38
Yes, yes. So you might have rules as a permissive parent, but you're not going to always consistently enforce them or follow them. You may give out some consequences, but not consistently. And you kind of you live in kind of this mindset of like, I really want my child to figure things out by themselves. And that, right, like even just saying that that's not all bad, no, right, right, to let yourself to let your child learn and, you know, make mistakes. There is an element that we of course, we want our child or you know, our children to learn and make mistakes. Are we allowing them to act in a way or make mistakes that are really problematic and hurtful to themselves and others? And do we kind of allow that a lot of people might say permissive parenting is like indulgent parenting, okay, like letting them kind of run rule the roost?

Scott Benner 22:36
Do you think it comes? Like our thoughts about these things? Do you think it comes from when you're an adult, you think back to someone who you knew who was treated that way, and they didn't turn out? Well, sort of, like, if I'm being honest, there's like three female names from when I was growing up, I would have never named a daughter, because I knew three girls with this name. And they skeeve me out for one reason or another, like so like, you just couldn't wrap your mind around calling your kid that. And I wonder if you don't look up and say, Well, I'm going to be this way. Because the person who sticks out my mind has been a real, it was definitely raised like this. And so I'm going to try to stay away from that without giving any, any weight to all the other variables that would help make that decision. I wonder if that's why we kind of besides how we were treated, because if you were treated permissively I would think just like with the with the last one, you're either going to come out of it one way or the other, either, you're going to be like some low energy, like Stoner, right? Like literally like, Hey, man, everything's fine. Or you're gonna think I am lucky to be alive. Because my parents didn't help me at all. And I'm going to do that thing for them. Yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:46
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Either, like an having a more grateful experience, or never really learned boundaries, consequences. And so you're continuing to maybe test those boundaries. Yeah. I think, as a child, or excuse me, as a parent, you might have the mindset of like, well, you know, kids will be kids. And again, I know my tone that was kind of more of a critical tone, but sometimes kids will be kids. And that's okay. And so I think it's this, striking this balance between giving them permission to make some choices grow, learn. But then when they're when they do come up against that the boundary of the rule that you've set, where you are more of a permissive parent is not following through, like not always giving the timeout or not. And again, there's it's really hard to be consistent. So

Scott Benner 24:44
as I think about this, each one of these styles comes with its own positive and negative possible outcomes. And they all kind of follow the same thing. Like if you're very permissive with somebody, they might end up just, you know, in your dwell and they also I don't know might not but I will say this, with the exception of like, being a douchebag. I don't see how you'd go real bad being permissive with somebody like if you were, you know what I mean, unless they turned him into a, I don't know a loan sharking, drug dealer or something like that. But like, didn't you mean like in a regular scenario, I think you would get kind of a mellow person out of a permissive, they might not be go getters, they might not be, you know, a captain of industry or something like that. But I think on a human level, I don't think you could go. I don't think this one sounds really damaging to me. And by the way, the first one, the authoritarian one, for the right person, you might create a real like, you know, like somebody who goes out there and gets at it and doesn't screw around and gets things done. And I don't know maybe needs to be whipped on a Friday afternoon in a dungeon. But other than that, they're pretty reasonable. I like that you're just nodding through that you're like so used to being like, you just gotta let it out somewhere, Scott, like with a dominatrix. I hear what you're saying. And like, but you don't mean like, again? Alright, let me ask you this. We've gone through two of these. Have we hit the style you use?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 26:19
I'm certainly would, if I were totally honest, I there have been certain moments where I've been authoritarian. There have been moments where I've been permissive, there probably been moments or neglectful, I'd like to say I'd lean in the authoritative but I can I can read and research and talk about all of these styles into Oh, yeah, I was. I was certainly that style last night. Yeah. And I think that's, that's a normal, natural thing. For all of us.

Scott Benner 26:44
I'll give away to a minute. But yeah, Arden reminded me the other day, she's like, do you remember like 15 years ago when you were really sick? And cold did something and he took his cell phone and threw it across the room? And I went, Yeah, I remember that. She goes, that took us by surprise. And I said, I regret that if I'm being honest. And I have no, like, I couldn't give you any context where I was incredibly ill. And I don't know what happened. Like something I honestly don't know any of the details. It ended with me. Trying, I don't even know, I think I was trying to do something shocking to stop whatever was happening from happening. But if I could look back from a high level, they were probably just being kids. And I was, I don't know, I didn't feel good. And I just did something stupid. I've said this on the podcast before. So I started out as a very like, like a loving parent. Like I'm I come from a river. I think that's pretty obvious if we're talking but in a in a, in a situation that I thought the kids were in trouble, I would yell. And that totally came from like, the way I grew up. Because I was constantly somebody was constantly yelling at me. And my wife, like pulled me aside and she's like, You can't yell at the kids. And I was like, but they seem to react well, like, like, we're getting what we want. And she's like, No, no, no. And so that took awhile. I'm like, I'm not gonna tell you. She said it to me. And like, on the next Saturday, I was like, I don't yell anymore. But I really don't yell anymore. Like, and I haven't for, I think it's pretty fair to say like, a decade, maybe. But I did, like I used to. And I've, you know, been smacked as a kid. And I wouldn't say more than maybe a handful of times, but I've smacked my kids, like, you know, not with an intention of taking them off their feet or something like that. But, like kind of shocking them into reality. I've done that a couple of times. The permissive part. Geez, jeez. Yes. In spots. In spots. This is the thing I wasn't gonna say to the end. But I think I'm all four of these is what I was gonna say. I think that there's something incredibly wrong with each one of these. And nothing wrong with each one of these, depending on where you use them. Yeah, permissiveness. Arden came home from college recently. I mean, she's 19. But she said she was going out with friends. And then they were meeting up with more people. And like she never came home. Like she did not come home until like nine o'clock in the morning. Now, in fairness, I can track her phone. So. So I knew they were kind of they were parked at a park, like in the parking lot. And they were taught like I knew who she was with. They were probably just sitting there talking the whole time. You know, we're being stupid. I don't know what they were doing. I did not bother her overnight. I didn't send her a text. I didn't say Hey, you gotta get home. I just use the if she was a college, I wouldn't know where she was. I don't see how this is any different. When Kelly woke up, she's like, Arden didn't come home. Kelly was worried. I said, I'll send her a text. I texted her. I said, Hey, are you okay? And she's like, Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be home soon. And I was like, Hey, you just you didn't contact us to let us know. And she said, you know, just say the word and I won't do this again. I said, No, no, I'm like It's fine. Just, it would have been cool to wake up this morning to attacks it says, Hey, I'm alright. And not me looking down the hallway thinking, Hey, she hasn't been here since the last time I looked down that hall. And she understood and that was it. That's to me. That's pretty permissive. I and my mom would have thrown me out a window. If I did that. I'm pretty sure. So like, I think literally.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 30:22
Well, perhaps, but what you've already had worked hard on establishing is that warm, nurturing, like trust relationship? Where had this been happening over and over and over again, with no response? Or a trust that she would change? Right? You you both you trust her that she would respond differently? And she trusts you? Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:44
And also the situation did not warrant craziness. I'll tell you like a week ago, she rolled out of this house like 10 o'clock at night. And I was like, what I was I was up here working. And Kelly was downstairs and I went downstairs like where's art? And she She just left? And I was like, wait, I'm like her blood sugar's low. Like we mean, she just left because yes, she said she needed food. She was low. And I said, did you look at her CGM. And she was I didn't. And I was like, Well, I'm looking. And she's 64. Like, we have a diagonal down arrow. She was going to walk like a convenience store two blocks from here, but she went by herself. I got in the car. And I drove right to that convenience store. And I parked outside. And here's what I thought. If her blood sugar holds steady, she's in the convenience store. I'm going to drive away and she'll never know I was here. And if it goes down one more time, she's gonna look up from that cooler, and I'm gonna be standing next to her. And so her blood sugar dropped again. I walked into the store, we made eye contact. She's like, What are you doing here? And I'm like, your blood. I mouthed that to her. I was like, your blood sugar's low. And she goes, I know. And I was like, okay, she just do you think I drove over here without drinking something first? And I said, No, she goes, if you tested my blood sugar, it's not 50. And I was like, okay, and then I got a Three Musketeers bar for myself and I left. Anyway, to me, that's permissive. I don't know what it is for other people. I couldn't just let somebody like be untethered completely. I don't think I'd be okay with that. So, I don't know,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 32:17
so permissive, maybe leaning into you set these boundaries, you were there. You know, I think it also goes years of foundation of being present setting expectations, I think of if you're consistently leaning into the permissive style, I think the outcomes would say that you would, the child could be more impulsive, maybe have more difficulty with social skills or relationships. And, you know, not necessarily knowing what is appropriate picking up on all those social cues. And Arden is not presenting with those right now.

Scott Benner 32:59
But I mean, listen, I've, to me, I've seen my son get hurt on a baseball field, and I have not moved. Because I've assessed from a distance, he's not going to die. And I think this is a difficult situation he's going to need to get through on his own. I've also seen him get hit. And I ran onto the field. But it was situational again, you know, so I would, you know, I don't know, to me, it's all the whole thing. Situational, in my opinion, but anyway, permissive. What do you think are some bad outcomes we could see as an adult, if we were raised like this, and it wasn't right for us?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:35
I think the children could struggle again, academically, there might be some of that impulsivity, that I just said, I think the they might have, they might be at higher risk for health problems, not knowing, you know, having if you're in a permissive household in terms of food and sleep, you know, there's a lot of leniency then as a child, you might not understand what's what's a healthy sleep habit. What's a healthy eating habit, too, that might be more at risk for either you know, obesity or sleep issues, which then leads into the research also talks about you know, poor dental, if you're not like, really you are? Yes,

Scott Benner 34:17
we're probably come from that.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 34:19
Yes. Because if you're like, Whoa, have your your brush your teeth when you're, you know, when you're ready,

Scott Benner 34:24
no harm, no foul, I'm brushing my teeth and there's no harm, no foul on health in general. Like, nothing bad's gonna happen to me because I didn't have to brush my teeth and I'm still okay. And oh, I see. I got it. All right. Yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 34:36
So, again, I really appreciate the way that you're able to hold you know, yes, there are moments to be maybe more in lenient and with this permissive style there is that emphasis in the the warm, nurturing, nurturing responsive parents, but the difference really is there the your there are few rules and there are few consequences for when your child does not follow the rules. Yeah,

Scott Benner 35:02
I mean, I don't look at, if you really listen to the podcast and you're paying attention, I look at diabetes, the way I look at everything. And I look at parenting the way I look at everything to like, there's common sense, there's time for common sense. There's time to be a little aggressive, there's time to lay back, there's time to be, you know, all different ways. And yet, I will tell you that I think my kids are reasonably, like, adjusted. And I don't think I'm perfect that I don't think Kelly is and I don't think they are. But I can tell you that they're not in a crap ton of trouble ever. Like, they're not people who are in trouble. I've never once thought I'm gonna have to go to a police station to get somebody. I've never once thought that someone's gonna say to me, Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I thought it was heroin. Like you don't I mean, like, like, I don't ever think something like that is going to happen, and hasn't so far. But when I've asked my kids about it, like moving forward, because I mean, like, as an example, cocaine, completely available everywhere. Like you can get it in middle school, high school, college, it's like sitting around. And when I asked my son one time, how come you've never tried that? He said, he didn't want to, it was there wasn't something he wanted to do. And so he didn't do it. So I'm comfortable that he's got his own feelings, and he's able to assert them in other places. But he also responded and said, and I think you would have drove, they're taking me out of school and killed me. And I was like, and when he said that, I thought, Oh, good. I absolutely would have done that. And I'm glad he knows. And Arlen piped up. And she said, yeah, there are things I don't do. Not because, like, I want to do them, and I don't but I have thought in my head, like seeing somebody else do something. Like if I did that my dad would probably rip my head off. And I think there's, I think it's good that they're a little scared, to be perfectly honest. I mean, like, they're not scared of me. Obviously, they're not scared of me. But I do think they think in the right situation, if they made the wrong move, I would probably lay waste to what it is, is their life. And I think that's I don't know,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 37:00
well, and ultimately what I would hear underneath that, or what I would reflect is like they respect you as their parent.

Scott Benner 37:07
I don't think they respect me, but they're definitely scared of what's gonna happen. So is that respect?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 37:14
Fear Fear based? Yeah, I mean, I think that they, they want to respect and honor they're scared of the consequences. But even children and teens and young adults might choose, I'm quoting the wrong choice, even if they're scared of the consequences, because they don't really care. They don't really respect or love or or want to honor how they've been raised. So I think there is that that foundation of trust and respect,

Scott Benner 37:37
we're also very careful not to lord over them. Like we don't have them in a position where they feel like I can't be myself. Because if these two people don't like what I do, they can change my life. Guys, I never thought that was a good idea. I've seen that done to people that usually financially they hold you, they hold you hostage a little bit. Right. And you can't really be yourself because you're afraid of, of losing your meal ticket. Anyway, I'm sorry, what's the next one on involved?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:05
I'm involved. Sorry, sorry, say that. Again. I

Scott Benner 38:08
said, this one seems like a no brainer. But go ahead.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:11
So yeah, uninvolved, you might have heard it as neglectful this type of parenting style, you might present more a little bit cold, and not really responding to your child's needs, or you know, asking how their day was, there might be a sense of indifference about how your child is doing that, that corresponds to really no rules or an or no consequences. And again, you might feel like even as we're describing this, there are moments where I might feel that you didn't even like I'm being an uninvolved parent. Sometimes it's like, you're you're so exhausted, and you're, you're stressed with work, and you just got into an argument with a family member, and you have nothing left to give to your child. So that's in that moment. Yes, maybe you're you're acting as if you're an uninvolved in our political parent, that's going to happen. But again, we're talking about like this is, if you are a neglectful parent over time, and consistently, there, there are, obviously a lot of negative outcomes in your child. If that's

Scott Benner 39:19
been done consistently over time, is it likely that the parent has some sort of an emotional issue themselves? Because I'm trying to imagine I know that everybody's not me. But, man, it's hard to imagine somebody having a baby and then just being like, whatever, and treating it like a dog that lives outside. I don't, it's hard for me to wrap my head around, but that's not uncommon. Right.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 39:43
Right. And I think there, there could be so many factors, right? Are you dealing with your own mental health? Are you being triggered because of your own experiences as a child and maybe you are coming from a place of trauma that has not been proud assessed, and it's too painful to see your child do the things that you did. I think the financial stress, family stress, work, stress are major factors at play when you are acting in an uninvolved way, as a parent,

Scott Benner 40:18
it's a little startling to me that you could not know yourself well enough prior to having a baby to say, I probably would be really, really bad at this. So let me stay out of this. Like I respect people who know their limits and stay away from I also don't understand. When people judge what they think is gonna happen in the future, whether it's like buying a car, and you're like, I don't know if I can afford this payment, or something like that. I don't understand people who don't layer on to their thinking, the worst possible outcome, everyone high sides it like, well, if this happens, and that happens in the you know, if it's, if it's a cool summer, then the air conditioning won't run, I'll be able to make this paint. Like when you're thinking that, like I, for clarity, do not get you I come from a perspective of if everything goes wrong, can I still handle this, and I assume everything's not gonna go wrong. But that's how I don't know. weird for me.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 41:14
I think I think often as you were suggesting, parents who are uninvolved in their child's lives, most of the time are facing their own mental health challenges. They might be, you know, be using substances to cope with their pain, and then consequently are uninvolved, right, because if you're always on substances, you can't really be involved.

Scott Benner 41:38
So if you're the child in that situation, what's the best outcome for you, obviously, the parent pulling it together, but let's say that can't happen, is getting away the best thing that can happen.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 41:48
I think, if you're the child and both have oftentimes, one parent might be more uninvolved and so the other parent if they're able to, might step in and counteract that. I think if you are experiencing as a child or teen, a parent who is unable to attend to your needs, seeking support from if you're in school, from your teachers, from your school counselors, other family members, you know, any any adult that feels like a safe a trusted adult in your life, seeking support from them, and hopefully other parent other adults in your life, if you are a child or teen listening to this, you know that that they would be under seeing how you are feeling and doing as a child or teen and speaking into your life and encouraging you.

Scott Benner 42:40
Alright, do we have time for the last one? I'm sorry, I know I kept you. Yes, yes. Authoritative. This parenting style. The parents are nurturing responsive and supportive, just like the Beavers are the cleavers, the cleaver beavers, yet set firm limits for their children, they attempt to control children's behavior by explaining rules, discussing and reasoning. They listen to a child's viewpoint, but don't always accept it. Okay. All right. Sounds like, like, like somebody wrote that out, like how it'd be now. So is that a thing that she actually saw? And people she's like, Oh, some people do this well, or is this her interpretation of what good is?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 43:17
I think she created this parenting style as a result of observing the preschool aged children. So these children had had positive self esteem, they were able to socialize well, they performed well, academically, socially, in the school environment. And obviously, when we talk about the authoritative that's, you know, as we said, there isn't like one right way. But this would be the best way if you were wanting to grow in an area to lean into the authoritative style. We can it is impossible to be live in this space all of the time, because we are human. And but I think the the basis is kind of like the permissive style, there's really a strong emphasis on having that warm, nurturing, attending parent, too. You know, when the child gets home from school take it isn't you know, taking a minute to get down at their level and asking them how their day was and validating their emotions and then when they are acting out being consistent explaining why are they having a timeout? Or why are they being told to read say that sentence in a different tone? At the same time, where maybe it might feel like the uninvolved or permissive parent like giving them independence too. But giving those kind of rails or boundaries of Kate you're going to be I want you to grow and become independent and make mistakes. But when I see you going one way or the other, I don't want you to hurt yourself or others.

Scott Benner 44:56
Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot little like, it's a little perfection with a boat. The description, I guess. Yeah. But I mean, it does it makes sense to me. I mean, it makes sense to have a firm hand when it's needed. It makes sense to be, you know, to step back when stepping back is the thing, I think the hardest thing to do is to recognize that those things are necessary, and probably recognize that you're not doing them when you're not doing them. Because I set you everyone thinks this is them. Do you know what I'm saying? I bet you if you laid these four out and said, Hey, which one of these are you? People be like, Oh, I'm authoritative I am, I'm a good mix, then you go ask their kid, their kid would be badly the kid might be wrong. But the problem with parenting, if I may, is, you don't get to know for like 25 years. When you find out, it's too late to fix it. How do you recognize in yourself? What's happening in time to do something about it?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:04
That's gotta be hard. That's such a good question.

Scott Benner 46:07
I don't know without my wife, if I would have figured it out,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:10
obviously. So having the awareness and also educating yourself, right? Like, even as you're listening to this, if you've never heard these, you might not have never heard these terms, which is okay. And you might say, oh, yeah, I do find myself saying this or doing that. And then recognizing, oh, you know, what I'm seeing that my kid is always yelling back at me, or I'm noticing that my child, it feels like they're lying a lot, or I'm noticing that they're becoming really kind of egocentric and think that the world revolves around them. Or so. Oftentimes, you know, I children do reflect our parenting styles. And so being not only aware of how we're delivering our tone, our mood, but what are what is the feedback our children are giving us. And then understanding that there is always an opportunity to grow. I know, we are not stuck in how we parent even though we might it might feel like it at times,

Scott Benner 47:11
I don't know if people will find this helpful or, or maddening. But I just always assume I'm doing it wrong. And leave myself open to flexibility. I don't know, I always assumed that there's a better way to be doing what I'm doing. And I just don't know what it is. I mean, I don't just mean with parenting, I know I make this podcast, and every day I think, oh my god, I reaches this many people, I bet you would reach more if I knew what the hell I was doing. But I don't like there's something in this space. Like, I don't know if I've ever said this to you before. But one of my favorite mental exercises, is that thing to the end of an idea, like to the end of my understanding, and then to spend time wondering what's beyond it, even though that's kind of a black place in my mind that I can't pull thoughts from, but I try to think like what other people know, beyond what I know. And I don't know, like, it's it really is just a thought exercise, but I've done it my whole life. And it's, I find it valuable because every once in a and you should do it in the shower. Because warm water on your head makes you smarter. I think that's I think that's true, by the way.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 48:17
Well, a lot of good thinking happens in the shower for a lot of people, I think, you know, even I was just thinking through, you know, these different styles. And, and I think we I don't know, if he said at the beginning of this episode, or in our intro episode that, you know, our hope is that as we understand our parenting styles, to take a step back and say, Gosh, I want to improve in this way so that I can improve my relationship with my child so that we can communicate, understand one another and improve the diabetes management piece. And even as we're going through these different parenting styles, I'm thinking about how you might be parenting your child's diabetes. And there might be moments where you're, you know, exercising each one of these styles right to validate, validate the frustration and the emotion of having to change your sight and having to Pre-Bolus every single time. And that and then but then also holding those consequences of like, but we need to do it. There might be times when it has to be authoritarian, right. There might be times when you want to give a little bit more permission and leniency for your child to to grow and, and to have a mistake, right? So yes, the best. Yes, sorry. Go ahead. No,

Scott Benner 49:32
I want to just add that I think being hopeful is also good. Meaning that you know, we hear people say it all the time, like you know there's crime in the world or all this drug addiction or this these problems. They all start out as babies. They're all nobodies on this path until someone puts them on this path. So if you're not actively putting them on that path, you should tell the anxiety in your head to calm down because things are probably going to be okay. cuz I do think a lot of I mean, how do they put it right? Like, how do you ruin food, sometimes it's by being too attentive to it, you know, like turning too many knobs ruins things like think of all of you trying to set up your algorithms, probably, you should have left it alone, I will, I will absolutely tell you that my daughter and her friends were over saying goodbye to each other before college started back up last week. And one of them was talking about a problem they were having. And I said, Sandra, let me give you the best advice I have as an adult. And she goes, Okay, I said, often, the best thing to do is nothing. Now I'm not saying be, you know, it completely, you know, what was that one called? But, but I'm saying that sometimes, you don't need to turn every little knob and make every little adjustment, like sometimes just letting things play out is is valuable. If they're not getting hit by a car, or, you know, drowning in a pool, or, you know, the big stuff, everyone's gonna go in a slightly different direction, none of your kids are gonna end up the way you mean for them to. So you might as well let go of that illusion to begin with. And just, you know, let them find their way but guide them I. I mean, I would think that when my kids grow up, and they have, and they are adults, and they have some real like, time on this planet, and some experience, I think they're gonna look back and see that I was standing behind them. There were wires from the little Marionette thing to them. But I was trying really hard not to use them. And I, you know, when every once in a while you trick them into doing something that's right for them. Nothing wrong with that either, by the way.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 51:39
I love that illustration or that image? That's good. Like, I'm

Scott Benner 51:44
there, but I'm not doing it. But if they fall, I go, oops. And not all the time. Sometimes, oh, this fall is not going to hurt him let that go. It's hard. Like it's it's difficult because everything that goes, quote unquote, wrong in your eyes, you think is the end? I mean, if you're a halfway loving parent, everything that goes wrong for your kids, there's a little voice inside of you that goes, This is it. They're done. I screwed it up, you know, like, but that's just not the case. Most of the time everybody is going to be look at Tarzan, they left him in the jungle. And he came back fine.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 52:20
Yes, well, and I think there's that balance, right of learning, having the awareness, being kind to yourself as a parent, like we're doing, we're all doing the best we can. And that just even thinking about that feedback from your child, or your teen and even applying it to the numbers. You know, a lot of parents use that as those numbers as the as the the agency, your time and range as evidence of how they're parenting. Right? Like, am I being a really good parent, I'm a bad parent. And to be offered, you know that grace and compassion towards yourself that you are, you are doing the best you can and not using that as like, oh, I should be more this way. That way. Anyway, go ahead.

Scott Benner 53:05
I can just I'm thinking of a specific situation. I'll let you go. I got to see this child raised in my life, like from the outside. And the kid was, I don't know. It was he was he was difficult from the beginning. I don't know if it's ADHD like I can't tell you what it wasn't. I don't know. Is he the brightest person I've ever met? No, but real soulful, really like humanity. Like humane wise, a really smart, loving, caring person drifted towards like, drugs, and not hard drugs, like more like, you know, weed and that kind of realm. Like there, I'm gonna guess wheat and mushrooms is probably his jam. And I watched the parents fight it, fight it and fight it and fight it and fight it. They were in a fight, they were never going to win. And then one day, they just realized, I've got the kid with holes in his jeans and flip flops, who's gonna have weed on him all the time, and they're happy and he's happy, and everybody's still alive. And you know, like, and he's gonna be okay. His whole life, like that kind of stuff. He's not what they imagined. But he is himself. And I think there's something to that. I mean, I think there's a difference between trying to stop a kid from drowning in a pool and trying to make a person something they're not. Yes. Anyway, those are my interpretations.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 54:29
And that, in that mindset, I was trying to apply into a specific parenting style, but I think that's, it's all of that feels that it feels like a little bit of all of them, but that also feels very authoritative, right, like you're, you're loving the child as they are that you're creating. You've created boundaries and safety nets, but also loving and validating the child for their feelings in their desires.

Scott Benner 54:53
Someone from the outside would definitely look at them and think, wow, they screwed that kid up. And I'm gonna I tell you, I think they they did and probably the biggest failure of his life. So it's, he's not what I imagined they hoped for. If I gotta be honest with you, if I had a son, he wouldn't be he wouldn't be what I would hope for. But he is lovely and terrific person to be around and he's himself. So I don't know. That's how it strikes me. Okay, can we real quickly? I'm just gonna tell people what we're going to do here. We're not 100% sure how many episodes this is going to be. But I do think we know for certain the next few are going to be building positive communication, self care, personal growth for parents, creating boundaries and expectations, avoiding unintended consequences, co parenting, and unified fronts, and then recognizing patterns and breaking cycles. Is that about where we're sure too? Were you comfortable with the next one saying it now too?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 55:54
I think that we I think we'll pause there. I think that feels good. Okay. Yes,

Scott Benner 55:57
perfect. Well, again, I really appreciate you doing this stuff with me. I love it when you come on. I feel like by the time we're done, I'm somehow hopeful and not hopeful all at the same time, which I think means I'm being realistic. And I think that's good. Thank you. Yeah, good afternoon, by.

A huge thanks to Erica for coming back again today and helping me build out this parenting series, Erica forsyth.com. She can see you in person in California, and virtually in a number of different states. Check out our website to find out more Erica forsyth.com. Eric has had type one diabetes herself for over 30 years. And I would like to thank us med for sponsoring this episode of the podcast us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your diabetes supplies the same way we do from us men.

If you were a loved one has been diagnosed with type one diabetes. The bold beginnings series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to begin listening. In this series, Jenny Smith and I will go over the questions most often asked at the beginning of type one. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist who is also a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for 35 years. My name is Scott Benner and I am the father of a child who has type one diabetes. Our daughter Arden was diagnosed in 2006 at the age of two. I believe that at the core of diabetes management, understanding how insulin works, and how food and other variables impact your system is of the utmost importance. The bold beginning series will lead you down the path of understanding. This series is made up of 24 episodes, and it begins at episode 698. In your podcast, or audio player. I'll list those episodes at the end of this to listen, you can go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top and choose bold beginnings. Or go into any audio app like Apple podcasts, or Spotify. And then find the episodes that correspond with the series. Those lists again are at Juicebox Podcast up in the menu or if you're in the private Facebook group. In the featured tab. The private Facebook group has over 40,000 members. There are conversations happening right now and 24 hours a day that you'd be incredibly interested in. So don't wait. So don't wait. Check out the bowl beginning series today and get started on your journey. Episode 698 defines the bowl beginning series 702, honeymooning 706 adult diagnosis 711 and 712 go over diabetes terminologies in Episode 715 We talked about fear of insulin in 719 the 1515 rule episode 723 long acting insulin 727 target range 731 food choices 735 Pre-Bolus 739 carbs 743 stacking 747 flexibility in Episode 751 We discussed school in Episode 755 Exercise 759 guilt, fears hope and expectations. In episode 763 of the bowl beginning series. We talk about community 772 journaling 776 technology and medical supplies. Episode 780 Treating low blood glucose episode 784 dealing with it surance 788 talking to your family and episode 805 illness and ketone management, check it out, it will change your life. Hey everybody. BetterHelp is a sponsor of the podcast and they're offering my listeners 10% off their first month of therapy, it's a great deal. I hope you can check it out better help.com forward slash juicebox. Now better help is the world's largest therapy service that is 100%. Online. They have over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists, they can help you with a wide range of issues. All you have to do to get started just hit my link, answer a few questions about your needs and preferences and therapy. And that way BetterHelp will be able to match you with the right therapist from their network. Better help.com forward slash juicebox you're gonna get the same professionalism and quality as you'd expect from in office therapy. And if for any reason your therapist isn't right for you, you can switch to a new one at no additional charge. Do therapy on your terms, text chat, phone video call and you can even message your therapist at any time and then schedule a live session when it's more convenient. So if you're looking for someone to talk to check out better help

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#1053 Some People Call Me Maurice

Justin has type 1 diabetes and is a Paramedic.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1053 of the Juicebox Podcast.

day I'll be speaking with a paramedic named Justin who has had type one diabetes for 30 years since he was 10 years old. Justin is very much into physical fitness his family and letting people know that diabetes doesn't have to limit them. Today we're going to talk about Justin, his diabetes growing up with it, his job, and so much more. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to save 40% at cosy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout, you can get five free travel packs and a year supply of vitamin D with your first order of ag one at drink, ag one.com/juice box. And if you're looking for glucagon, the one in fact that my daughter carries check out g voc glucagon.com/juice box. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, you must check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. It's a private group with 43,000 members. There is a conversation happening right now that you would absolutely be interested in or be able to help with this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom dexcom.com/juicebox. Head over now find out more about the Dexcom G seven or the GS six and you can get started with the CGM that my daughter wears Dexcom

Unknown Speaker 1:57
oh my god, can you believe it?

Scott Benner 2:06
Doe a D deer a female deer. The podcast is also sponsored by us med us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies and you can to better service and better care is what you'll get from us med us med.com/juice box links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com.

Justin 2:37
My name is Justin. I live in the Pacific Northwest Washington State. Have two young girls Addison and Leila Addison is five Leila is three. Married My wife's name is Lindsay and currently we both are in healthcare. I work as a first responder at a local fire fire department. And then my wife is a physician's assistant. Been a type one diabetic since the age of 10 years old, so 31 years now. Wow. And that is why I am here chatting with you.

Scott Benner 3:13
Oh, that's excellent. Oh, wow. You have diabetes for 31 years. Correct. Okay, happenstance, completely the person I interviewed yesterday was from the middle of Washington State. How weird is that? It is actually kind of strange. Because first of all, not everybody says where they're from. And now it's two days in a row and they're like I'm from Washington. I'm like, Cool. Well, you were diagnosed a long time ago you were diagnosed in a time of did you make regular and mph or were using cloudy or animal insulin? What were you doing?

Justin 3:45
Yeah, I use combination. So I remember in the mornings taking two injections one with the short acting one with the long long acting the NPH and and then everything in between when I ate and then at nighttime again. long acting NPH and the short acting if I got I was the type of person who always had a glass of milk before bed I don't know why so I'd always take a little bit then so I felt like I was taking like 10 or 12 injections a day or as frequently as I was eating but yeah

Scott Benner 4:22
was the building we did technology was the milk warm Justin was to help you drifted a dream boy

Justin 4:27
no something might my father had milk with like every meal and I think that I just like I thought it was the normal thing like milk with breakfast milk with for a snack milk with lunch milk with dinner and then for some reason I got into this like milk before bed milk was like water in my family and I learned that from my dad and I think it's just like I thought it was cool when I was little and then it just

Scott Benner 4:51
but you were done. Were you recovering it with insulin or no?

Justin 4:54
Yeah, typically I was. So in that was all dependent on what my blood sugar was. Right. So I would say nine times out of 10. Unless I was going to bed, you know, mildly hyperglycaemic or something. Yeah, I would I would cover it with a little short acting.

Scott Benner 5:09
Okay. If you hit that, that line, so what is this? Like? 1990? Was 191. Right? So yeah, you're just on the other like meters were just becoming more like things people had in their homes in the late 80s. Like, right around there. So you had you had a glucose meter like that? I did. Okay. Was it accurate? Do you think? There's no way to know, I guess, right. Yeah, I

Justin 5:33
don't think I would have known any different. Yeah, you know, it, especially at the age of nine or 10. You know, for me, I was just told, here's what you have. And here's what you have to do. And, you know, I don't think that I would have known whether it was or wasn't. And you know, as you get older, you can tell whether something is accurate or not based off of maybe how you're feeling. And I've had that with the sensors. Now. It's like, especially the earlier sensors. I'm feeling a certain way. And my sensor says something else. I'm like, I don't feel like I'm already right now. Or I'm 250. Yeah. But but with the blood glucose, that I mean, that was your that was the only thing besides a urine test script, which I just didn't use that often.

Scott Benner 6:16
What was the first did you have the G four? Did you get the very first sensor?

Justin 6:20
No, I didn't. I started with the seven Medtronic.

Scott Benner 6:24
Oh, you start with Medtronic. Okay.

Justin 6:25
I did. Yeah. What do you use? Yeah, so I have the T slim for a pump. And then I use the G six and G six was the the first sensor i i really stuck with, because I had I had heart ache with the early generations. I just never found them to be accurate. And so I was I was kind of stubborn. And I just said, You know what, I'm just gonna poke my fingers 1015 times a day and just do it that way.

Scott Benner 6:56
My recollection, because Arden had the first Dexcom g4, and then she had seven plus. And then like she's had them all. But I remember back then. I mean, they were very new. You know, like, somebody had to tell me what they were. I mean, somebody just told me, when did you ever Dexcom I was like, I don't know what that is. And she told me I was like, Well, that sounds great. Then you use it. And to your point, like I couldn't tell like is this? Like, should I be looking at the number and what what I, what I eventually learned was with the very first CGM, it's not this way any longer. But I learned to just at least the arrows, the arrows that were meaningful, like, Alright, up down, falling fast, slow, that kind of stuff was really helpful early on, then obviously, it got better as time went on, but in the beginning, and that's I just use them for the arrows. It's supplemented with finger sticks constantly. Yeah, that's interesting. So you, if you had the Medtronic CGM, you had a Medtronic pump.

Justin 7:54
Correct. I switched over to tandem about a year and a half ago. I was with Medtronic for a very long time. And I was pretty loyal to them. My endocrinologist got to the point where she felt like Medtronic was a little bit behind, especially with their sensors. And so she recommended I switch. And I switched to tandem and you know, I've been very happy especially with the the weight and the size. I do think that they have been there a little ahead.

Scott Benner 8:22
Yeah, it's a good pump. It is. Yeah. Are you using control IQ? Are you using it, Matt? You are. Okay. So yep. So you were you doing automation with the Medtronic,

Justin 8:33
I was not because I didn't like the sensor. I didn't trust it. So I had a trust issue with Medtronic. So I was just running with the standard Basal patterns that we had set, you know, over time, so I wasn't using, I wasn't using the sensor, their hybrid technology with tandem. I have been, and I've been very trusting of it. I have had some issues. It's been infrequent, but they have happened. But I like the control IQ, it's really hands off, which is super nice.

Scott Benner 9:07
Especially now that I appreciate it more now that hardens at college. Like I appreciate it before, you know be but we were still like, I don't know, connected more frequently around things. So you know, but now there have been opportunities where there's just nothing like I can't contact her and she's in a class and she's not going to do anything, you know, and she's just living. And it's a it's just very comforting to see, like, I don't know, you miss on a meal or eat something it hits harder than you expect. And there's an upward rise and you don't do anything and it goes it stops eventually like it's gone. You know? Just fantastic. Really going back to when you were first diagnosed. I find usually that people in that timeframe like pretty quickly. Your parents aren't involved anymore, right? You just doing these injections and going on your way. Is that what happened for you?

Justin 10:02
Yeah, I do feel like that I felt like you know it at the age of nine and 10, though you're young, you can, you're pretty quick to figure it out. But I'll say this to back then, you know, 30 years ago, I remember them in the hospital, they just told me that you just can't have candy anymore.

Scott Benner 10:20
That was it. I was like,

Justin 10:22
I remember asking, like, I can't even have a Snickers bar. Like that's pretty, pretty huge for nine or 10 year old, right. And I just was like, heartbroken. But it wasn't the carbs were the the issue. It was just the simple sugars where the candy were. So I was told to stay away from those. And I thought, well, that's, it's heartbreaking, but it's pretty easy. And I do remember my father, because I didn't want to do the injections. He helped me with those for, like, the first summer I had it. But by the time you know, I'm going into fifth grade. He was fifth grade, I have to do those things at school by myself in you know, I, I was, as far as I know, the only one and they made me go to the office, I had to go to the office to check my blood sugar. I had to go to the office to do an injection. And the nurses and everybody were hands off. They're like, Oh, I don't know what this is. And so that was kind of weird for me. But I had to learn pretty quickly. Yeah. And you know, I'm not I wasn't nearly as efficient at managing it back then, as I am now. And that's from technology and education standpoint. But I had to learn quick, I was

Scott Benner 11:29
picturing myself in fifth grade. I was like, I didn't like my teacher. I was in trouble all the time. Like, you know, I didn't do particularly well on my classes. And I'm like, what if you gave me diabetes on top of that, like, I don't even know what I would do. You know? How did you measure outcomes? It was it just I say this a lot. But you weren't busy. And you were standing? Good day?

Justin 11:53
Yeah. Like outcomes as in when I when I took insulin, your hell? Which way? Am I trending?

Scott Benner 12:00
Yeah. Because think about think about how you think about your day to day health now, with all this data, right? And think of it back then, like, what was the golden?

Justin 12:07
I remember, and even today, I'm fairly highly sensitive to how I would feel. And so it's so weird to say, but yeah, I mean, you really learn how to listen to your body, which is, I think, good in a way right and really connected. But but I'll say this, I started really early, and I never had an issue. And I was fortunate enough to have parents who had good insurance. So I had a lot of test strips. So I have always been Intel, the GS six, I've always been a frequent tester of my glucose. So the feelings were huge, kind of understanding your body and listening to your body. But also I was a person who was testing at least 10 times a day. Yeah.

Scott Benner 12:55
So anytime you thought you notice something you would check. And that's just you, right? That wasn't instilled in you by anybody, I imagine. No,

Justin 13:03
I think it's just me. I think I think it is just me, because I'll say that, you know, as far as I remember, they wanted you to test it when I say they might my physicians, and they were recommending you test often, but they weren't telling you to do it 10 times a day. So it was just me, almost, it was probably a little bit of anxiety and a little bit of, I'm kind of a perfectionist, so So that's in me too. Like, I'm feeling a little funny, or I ate this food that I know will typically send me to the moon. So I'm going to check it and check in check it

Scott Benner 13:41
out. Sounds like common sense to me. I'm just fascinated that you figured out when you were a kid, you know, like it's just, I mean, we were doing that before CGM. Like I, I know, the doctor looked at me sideways. But we when we asked for test trips, I was like, I need at least like 12 or 13 of them a day. And she's like, for what? And I was like, Well, I'm testing. Like, at like, before meals, she was right. I said, and then like an hour after the meal, and she goes, why you're gonna be high then I was like, I think there's a way not to be high after that. I'm trying to figure it out. And I need to see all this information to figure it out. So she would she would look at Arden's logs in the beginning, and say like, I don't know how to make sense of any of this. She's like you're testing when people don't test. And I was just like, Well, yeah, because I want to know what's happening here. Like, I don't care if we started at and ended at I want to know what happened in between, you know, and well couldn't they couldn't track with that for a long time. But now they do obviously,

Justin 14:39
in reality, is there is there any such thing in my mind as too much when it comes to your data and understanding what your blood sugar is doing? Because for folks who don't have diabetes, I mean it's all time right? And so with a sensor you know, I know that the the G six and something like the libre, it It takes a peek at your blood sugar every, you know if three minutes, five minutes or even even sooner with the libre, I believe but I mean, in my mind, like, they should be applauding you Yeah, for wanting to know that right? It's

Scott Benner 15:14
always backwards no matter what you say to a doctor, they're always behind the times and you're always going like, trust me, this is a good idea. So, I mean, we were lucky enough to get them the test strips and you know, our insurance covered it which was terrific. But even now like thinking like people who don't have problems regulating their blood sugar's I don't care type one type two, you know, it's never anything you're gonna think about just you're gonna live your whole life and it's just gonna, it's gonna your, your pancreas is gonna work like your toe, like it just like does the thing it's supposed to do. But for people where it's not knowing sooner is just the key. You know, even if it's pre diabetes, for type two, like, like you want to see it, because there's something you can do. And when you're type one, it's every minute like I don't, I don't understand the idea of like, my blood sugar is gonna go up to 300 I'm just gonna ignore it. I don't feel well. I won't say anything. You don't I mean, I'm just gonna live through this and see how it goes. And it's interesting that you came to it that way where your parents particularly healthy people, exercising they eat well, everybody who has diabetes has diabetes supplies, but not everybody gets them from us med the way we do us med.com forward slash juicebox or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash, the number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, and they always provide 90 days worth of supplies, and fast and free shipping. That's right us med carries everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, right up to your latest CGM like the FreeStyle Libre two, n three, and the Dexcom, G six and seven. They even have Omni pod dash and Omni pod five, they have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and you can reach them at 888-721-1514 or by going to my link us med.com forward slash juicebox. When you contact them, you get your free benefits check. And then if they take your insurance, you're often going and US med takes over 800 private insurers and Medicare nationwide. better service and better care is what US med wants to provide for you. Us med.com forward slash juicebox get your diabetes supplies the same way Arlen does from us med links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors. When you use my links, you're supporting the show. Now let's talk about the Dexcom g7. The Dexcom g7 is a small and wearable continuous glucose monitoring system. It sends real time glucose readings to your Dexcom g7 app or the Dexcom receiver. Use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To learn more and get started today, you will be able to effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they're headed. This way you'll be able to make better decisions about food, insulin and activity. Once you're able to see the impact that those variables have on blood sugar, you'll begin to make more purposeful decisions and have better outcomes. My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom product for so many years. I don't even remember when she started. But today she wears the Dexcom G seven and it is small and easy. And oh my goodness, are you going to love it dexcom.com forward slash juice box you can head there now and click on the button that will get you your free benefits check or just hit that other button that says Get Started. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast. dexcom.com/juice box.

Justin 19:10
My mother? Yes, my father, not so much. My father was a very active person with his job. He had a labor job in so he ran heavy equipment and did a lot of dirt work. And so he was very active that way. But he was also a smoker. And like the only good meal he would eat would be because my mother cooked it for him. Yeah. But my mother has always been cheap. You know, my mom writes bike every day. She goes on a walk every day. She's been very attuned to her health my father would not not so much. So I think I think some of it my mom's mom is very much she's still doing yoga at 85 years old now. Wow. She's she's a really interesting lady

Scott Benner 19:58
your body stuff Oh, and your is it match your mom's? Are you kind of built? Do you don't I mean by

Justin 20:05
actually, yeah, yeah. So my, I think I'm more like my father so my father was a six, four. I'm six, two, he was very lean. I'm very lean as well. My mother, though she's, I don't know both my parents are fairly tall. My mom was five, seven. So for a woman that's that's fairly tall. And she she's muscular though she's kind of built like her her father. My mom's a little more, I guess mezzo morphic. You know, she she holds a lot of muscle. My dad was a little more Ecto morphic skinny. Yeah. Kind of like an in between.

Scott Benner 20:40
Right. Well, it's interesting, though, because you have your dad's build, but your mom's mindset. Yeah, yeah, it's good mix. Yeah, there have been times when I've looked at my kids and thought, Wow, this just went the wrong way. If instead on this topic, if it wasn't this from me, and that from Kelly, if it got flip flop, they'd be a disaster. And you know, like, you just, you just get lucky, you know? So, okay, so you go do I mean, I'm gonna, I don't even ask you, but I don't. I'm not imagining diabetes was much trouble for you through high school.

Justin 21:12
No, you know, but I was a silly high school student, like a lot of people. And so I, I paid attention. I did, but I also was, my friends were very important. So going to Red Robin, and experimenting and doing those things. You know, I do remember a time in my life where I had always kept track, and I always paid attention. But I wasn't as strict with it with the diet and all that as I am now. So I definitely had a time where I was very much just being, I mean, I hate to say it as an unhealthy teenager. But But I was, you know, I like I wanted to go out and eat with the friends and I want to go out and do those things. And it wasn't extremely frequent, but it was much more loose

Scott Benner 22:05
for sure to play sports in school.

Justin 22:08
Yep, I did. So I did. I played football, I ran track. And even those, I didn't take extremely seriously, but I did participate in your

Scott Benner 22:19
little. Hey, I just think to ask, I'm gonna guess no, because of the year. But did you pick up the smoking from your dad? Do you ever try it? No, no, no.

Justin 22:30
Didn't and I'm very fortunate my actually my father, my father's seven years ago passed away from lung cancer. Oh, I'm sorry. And it was something when I was younger, I stayed up late at night thinking about like, Man, my dad's gonna get lung cancer one day, what's gonna happen? What happened? You know, it kind of, there was a lot of fear, like what happens when you die? This is my father. Um, so I think the fear of I don't know why i i was quick to understand that, hey, this is bad for you. This is gonna be bad for him. I had no interest. And I had, I had a lot of pressure in high school from like, friends like, Hey, man, just try one. But just try one. And I remember at one time, I took a little puff off of one freaking disgusting, but never have never was I interested. And I have a long, long line of alcoholism in my family as well. And I'm not gonna lie there was there was time in my life where I had fun with friends. But I've never had any desire, or any addiction to feel as if I need to keep doing that. So I'm very, very fortunate that I didn't pick up on either of those things. Yeah,

Scott Benner 23:32
you avoided a number of things. I'm pretty sure I've never had coffee because I commingle Coffee and Cigarettes together. By the smell of my father's cigarettes along with coffee. The whole thing is just like it's nauseating to me. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So I've literally never had a cup of coffee. I'm thinking of doing it on the podcast. I was gonna say, well,

Justin 23:53
coffee is one thing. I didn't start drinking it until, like mid 20s. I started doing a little construction. I had a buddy who drank coffee as well to give me one of those. And then as I got into the fire service, it's very much a morning tailboard social thing. And so now I only drink a cup. Maybe two a day. But now, coffee. Coffee is my thing. It's part

Scott Benner 24:17
of your thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm definitely going to try it at some point. It's just I don't think it's gonna blow you away. I think I'll be like, no. All right. Less than exciting. Yeah. Alright, so you get through high school. Did you go to college?

Justin 24:30
Yeah. So I went to a local community college and got an associate's degree from Tacoma Community College. Nobody in my family went to college. Nobody was steering me to college. I went to a small high school, so it was more built for tradesmen. So I kind of followed the path. I didn't know what the heck I wanted to do. But I did get an Associate's and I ended up going down to Texas. And I went to University of Texas down there where I got my paramedic certificate, and then I came back here to Washington State and I finished my bachelor's degree through Central Washington University.

Scott Benner 25:05
I can picture myself in high school standing in the parking lot getting getting ready to get into my car after school on a Friday afternoon, when a friend of mine says, hey, I'll see you tomorrow. And I thought, why would I see you tomorrow? I'm like, I'm like, I go to work. Oil. What are you talking about? And he goes SATs. And I'm like, what? And he goes, Yeah, SATs and I, and I swear to you, I said, What's that? I was, was 1988. And I was like, I'm like, I don't know what that is. And he's like, it's a test you take, too. And he's explained to me, and I go, I'm not doing that. And he's like, What do you mean, he's like, we're all doing and I was like, I'm not. And I went through, I went to my job at a sheetmetal shop the next day and made $40. You know, and, and it's just the same thing. You said it the way you said it made me think about it. No one ever mentioned college to me when I was growing up. They never once said, like, you know, after high school, you can, or nothing, it was stay alive. And you can get a job and your uncle and get a job and your uncle sheetmetal shop and this is over. You know what I mean? And so, anyway, it's just the way you said it really made it ring for me. Okay, yeah. How about when did you meet? Maybe that's the wrong question. Let me ask you a little bit about dating with diabetes. Because what if it wasn't your wife? So? Is that a thing that you share with women? Or is it something you kind of keep private? And show him a little bit of it? How do you handle that?

Justin 26:32
Yes. So early on, I felt embarrassed, I felt it was like, I mean, there just wasn't many people that had it, especially up into high school. So I never wanted anybody to know, it's like my friends did, of course, my close friends. But when it came to dating, I kind of felt like if I told them, they would view it as like, blue or a weakness, I don't know why. So I was pretty, I was pretty quiet about it. With as time went on, and as I got into, you know, college, and in really, it was much more prevalent, like to see someone walking around with a pump, or a sensor on or whatever it may be. And so then all of a sudden, I felt like I could loosen up a little bit because it was much more out there. But for a very long time. I didn't like people to know, because I didn't want to be viewed as like, weak or different. Or something like that, especially, especially from like a female standpoint. I didn't want them to think like, oh, well, I wouldn't want to have a long term relationship with him and get married have kids because he has this thing, right. I don't want that to be passed on or deal with that. So yeah, I didn't disclose.

Scott Benner 27:49
It's in your mind, though to like it. Yeah, I think it's seems reasonable to me that that would be something you would consider. Did you run into people who were like, yeah, no, thank you, or

Justin 28:00
no, and that, you know, it's weird, and it never really clicked, but I didn't be you know, I had a few very serious girlfriends that I dated for a long time. So So I wasn't a very frequent dater to have a lot of repetitions through it to where I was ever denied because of it. Maybe I was denied because of it. But it wasn't disclosed to me that that was why or why something didn't work out. But I never was. It didn't ever seem to be an issue. I think this was all just personal.

Scott Benner 28:27
Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. So you're Are you a paramedic now? Correct? Yeah. And I've been through this before, but EMT and paramedic aren't the same thing. Just give it to me. Yeah. briefly what the difference is,

Justin 28:41
it's just a different tier of training. So an EMT basic, is several months worth of basic life support emergency training, whereas is paramedicine. It's a year and a half more of schooling. And so we can administer certain it's a little more invasive, you can you can do more skills and administer certain drugs based on what your protocol is. So it's more schooling, and it's a little bit further training. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:07
Does the diabetes get in the way of it at all?

Justin 29:10
It hasn't? No, I actually think that there's been some benefit because when I you know, all the patients we see need to start IVs on I was very comfortable with handling syringes and needles and drying up medications and all of those things. So there was a benefit. There were it was a downside, was getting into the fire service. I had one fire job that I had applied for in particular and I had made it through to the interview stage and was actually denied because of the diabetes they were they were concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle the workload or hours of the fire service. And so when I first got this job that I currently have, I've been at for about a decade. I was really really quiet about how lenient, I wasn't quiet to the employer, I did have to disclose it. And I did have to do some extra testing to qualify. But for we respond to a lot of diabetics in the fire service, a lot of people with hypoglycemia or hyperglycemia, maybe DKA, I didn't want to be lumped into that group. So when I was first hired at the fire department, my theory was, I will prove myself, and then over time will disclose that I'm diabetic. And I don't know if that was the right way to do it. But I just was worried that people were going to look at me as a liability. Because we go see so many diabetics, I was like, I just don't want people to think that that's going to be me. Yeah. And so I didn't disclose it. And I did find that that was a weakness, because I was I was hiding it. So I found myself in my room, you know, messing with my pomp or trying to be secretive about that. Um, so that was

Scott Benner 30:54
yes, I see both sides of it, though. Because your concern mimics what happens when people go to the doctor, and, or when, you know, you hear of a person, you know, diagnosed or kids diagnosed, and they're, they're in health care. Everyone they picture with diabetes is in their worst moment. Yeah, you know, and I've made the point before that it's not unlike a friends I have, who are police officers who just they come to expect bad interactions with people, because their whole day at work is poor interactions. Right? So it's so true. Plus, it worked for you in dating. So it wasn't a completely bad plan. You know, you're, you're like, I'll get in here. I'll make them like me. If they like me, I'll let them know. So yeah, and, you know,

Justin 31:34
that's I questioned myself a lot about whether that was the right way to go about it, you know, especially if I did have an incident, people would be like, What the hell's going on? Yeah, you know, but But thankfully, you know, especially at work, I, I'm very strict on myself, like, I will definitely stay away from high carb meals and whatnot, because I never know when the when the bells is gonna go off. And we might be gone for an hour, two hours or three hours in and you know, we I always carry something with me. I'm smarter than that. But I just I did have moments where I'd be like, I was wondering if I was making the right decision, not disclosing it. And there was a couple people who knew it wasn't completely secretive. You know, but of the 100. Some people I work with, there was a fraction that didn't, there was a large fraction that didn't know. And I remember over time, when I got more comfortable. And I'd pull my pump out of my pocket or something. They're like, I didn't, I didn't know you were diabetic. And like, oh, yeah, that'd be for 30 years. Yeah.

Scott Benner 32:30
And then it's just okay. Right? Because they know you already and it doesn't matter. Listen, I had, I had a kid on here recently, he got turned down by for a job like, obviously, because of his diabetes. And the law protects him, he could have not said anything, and then disclose them afterwards, after they hired him. And then they would have been more forced to pay attention to the to the, to the law, obviously. But this is not just about that. It's about camaraderie you have at work and people's ability to trust you. And and you know, like, especially in in a vigorous setting, and it is a vigorous setting, like what you do, yeah. Yeah. How long have your shifts 24 hours you do? How many of those do you do a week.

Justin 33:12
So our schedule, now you do 24 on, you get 48 off, and then 24 on and 96 hours off. It's a pretty cool schedule. We're there. I'd say an average of eight days a month or so we have times where we work 48 hour shifts, and we do trades and we pick up overtime, but you also get vacation, all that nice stuff. So it is 24 hours at a time. So it's like a second home for sure.

Scott Benner 33:36
Yeah, that's interesting. I know that, like people I'm close with, when they first got into police work. It was it rotated three to 1111 to seven, seven to three. And then you'd have two days off. They just started over. It was like seven to three, two days off. 11 to seven, two days. And it's hard on people. Like oh, man, I think people figure it out. That's just not a reasonable way to cover shifts like that. So 24 is not bad because you can sleep if you guys aren't jumping. You can, right?

Justin 34:10
Yep, yep, exactly. And I'll say that it's, you know, you never know what your day is going to be like, you never know what it's going to bring. You never know what calls you are you aren't going to go to and that's kind of the fun. One of the most difficult parts of the job, I would say is is those late night hours when you know, I've had plenty of shifts where we were able to lay down and sleep the majority of the night and it's great you know, you're getting paid the sleep right? That's fantastic. But you're always kind of half loaded. I told my wife I get home and I'm like, you know we slept for six hours last night and I feel like trash Yeah, I think you'd you just don't really get the chance to get into that deep sleep. You know, because you're always kind of you know, you're at work you're kind of prepared to potentially get up and most nights we do get up so

Scott Benner 34:59
it Listen, I only from the time I was 16 till I was almost 20, I volunteered at a local fire department. So I cool. Yeah, so I did that for four years. And obviously you're not sleeping at the firehouse. So they had these old like God to think of how old they must look now to people, but these boxes that would just picked up radio waves, and then just set off a searing alarm in your house. And you can be dead. Like, no lie, you can be dead asleep at 3am. And at 3:10am standing outside of the house, it's it's fascinating. Like, I think back now, like I woke up this morning, it took me 20 minutes to like, know which way I was going, you know, and, and, but there's something about that adrenaline hits you, and you're like, like, Seriously, I've had moments in my life where I'm like, wrapping a fire hydrant so that we can pull hose. And I think to myself, I've only been awake for six minutes. It's, it's, it's freaking weird. And so it's such an interesting thing. Yeah, I take your point, like, it's probably hard to get into a deep sleep, because odds are, something's gonna happen. And you're gonna have to roll somewhere, right? So, yeah, 100%. And

Justin 36:11
I think, as I've gotten more, as I've gotten older, and as I've been, I've been in the job longer, it definitely seems to affect my sleep more, you know, and then I also get concerned, and I can tell the difference, even in my blood sugar. If I have a rough night, and I don't sleep much, I think there's enough stress hormone in my body to where that next morning and that next day, I feel pretty insulin resistant. Yeah. And so I've questioned the longevity of the position, simply just not even just being a diabetic. But for a lot of people. You know, you see some unfortunate things that can stick with us. So there's a mental portion to it. And then the sleep though, is the big thing. I really think that sleep is important for us. And it's one thing and I know we're not the only job that doesn't get great sleep. There's plenty of them. But it is concerning me to think about doing that for 25 some years. How I'll feel after that, that chunk of time on my life.

Scott Benner 37:10
Yeah, yeah, it's um, I was just thinking like the way you said stress hormone just now is like, when we talk about, like growth hormones, we talk about, you know, we talk about, oh, my thyroid is out of whack. So my, those hormones are off, and nobody ever says, stress, like, like that. And it uh, it's definitely worth as a matter of fact, like, you made me write a note down. I'm gonna say, All right, that's just very worth talking about because it's again, something no one, we talked about it more in the, you know, in the moment, like management, like, oh, wow, are you stressed out today? Are you blah, blah, blah. But I don't think people know when they're stressed out. You know what I mean? Like, it's Yeah, I agree. Yeah, you're not really aware of it. Your stress is different. Because anyway, I've seen a dead body. And I know what that it's not fun.

Justin 37:54
Yeah, there's yeah, there's those those questions, you know, how many of those slides do I want to place in the, in the slideshow there? You know, I don't know. And as you get older, you know, I have little girls now at home. And I've I've had some really unfortunate pediatric calls and they've stuck with me and they're a little scarring and and then like I said, I there's these jobs have to be done. And I'm, I'm very fortunate to have the job and be a part of it. But there are times where I question how much of that I want to do and how much of that I want to see. And they've really affected me differently. As I've gotten older, and as I have children, and yeah, I don't feel old, but I do definitely. You know, when you're 20 years old, you don't die. Right. You're invincible, right? Well, you you know now, I'm 41. And I'm diabetic, and you hear a lot of bad things that come along with diabetes, and I start to question my mortality more and then you see sick people at work. And like you said about the police officer. You start seeing all these sick people, then you start feeling like, gosh, dang, is everybody sick? I could be me.

Scott Benner 38:59
Yeah, I had that thought sometimes making this podcast where I I'm like, God, everyone doesn't have an autoimmune disease. Right? Like, like that. But I start feeling that way or, but to your point of feeling indestructible. me right now thinks back on. I can think of picturing a fire where I'm on the roof of a three storey house with a soft in the middle of the night. It just by doing? Like, that's insane. You know, it's just not a thing that it's just not a thing that you do. And you do wonder, like, how how many times can I do this? I can picture an auto accident. Where, you know, we were setting up to take the door off this car. And I just went to look in the car so I could understand what it was we were doing. And I went back to the to the lieutenant I was like, there's no one in the car. What do we pull the door off the car for? And he goes she's under the dash. Oh no. And I was like, Wait What? And there's an old, an older, frail woman that wasn't wearing a seatbelt. And the literally she ended up under the dash and that in the passenger side. I mean, I'm never gonna forget that. Yeah, I take your point. So, um,

Justin 40:14
I say I say a lot of the things that that we see, you know, and there's there's so many people in the fire service in the police service that you know, that see these things, but a lot of it you're only supposed to see on movies. You're not I mean, no, and you get the chance to see that real life real person, and everybody handles it differently. You know, but it is. Yeah, it's interesting. And like you said, those are things that you will never forget, right. And I'm sure you have the opportunity to truly help some people, right. And that's rewarding, it really is. But it also comes a little heavy, too, when when you see those folks that, you know, maybe made one bad decision, or someone else made a bad decision that this other individual may suffer for that. That's, that's huge. And that weighs on you a little bit close friend

Scott Benner 41:03
of mine, I think I've mentioned this once on here before but told me the first time he had his gun out. And he was, you know, he's a police officer. He's at this house where there was a person in the house that made their way into the basement of homeowners like they just ran downstairs. And my friend starts to descend the steps and realizes that his legs are going to be visible in the basement long before his torso, and his eyes and his gun are clear. And he said I actually consciously thought, Do I really want to be a police officer? Oh, gosh, no kidding. Yeah. And and then he said, he's like, it's just the most like, charged up he's ever felt in his entire life. Gosh, yeah. And then you get down there. And the guy went out the window. And he's like, he's like, I was just like, like, frozen for a second like this. Just a crazy thing.

Justin 41:53
I really respect the the people in the police force because I tell you what, you know, I don't know what it would be like, especially if you were initially responding alone. In every every incident they go to the individual they're responding to probably doesn't want them there. They don't want to they don't you know, so it's, I don't know, I that would be a scary job. I really respect that position. I work closely with a lot of police officers because they secure a lot of scenes for us, you know, so it's a tough job.

Scott Benner 42:25
And it's also it's not like on television, like six cars don't show up with 12 people. It's like my buddies in the house going, okay. Like, you know, I guess this is me, if it was me, I didn't turn to the lady and said, Hey, bad luck. This guy in your basement now we ought to get the hell out of here, you know, believes in Yeah, I'm sure I'll get bored. Yeah, no, it's it's really interesting. So your wife is a physician's assistant. Correct? Okay. Does she have involvement with your diabetes? Now as an adult, she listens

Justin 42:57
to me be upset every so often when you know, I, I eat something and I take my insulin and for some reason, my blood sugar decides to take off on me. Or the other day, I was at work, and I had the catheter on my site, it came out. So I had for dinner, I had some chicken thighs, and I think I put on my fire gear. I don't know if it just grabbed it, right? I'm not really sure. But I ate a salad and chicken, not many carbs, my blood sugar starts taking off. And I'm taking insulin, and it's still going up. I'm taking insulin, and it's still going and I'm like, Alright, this is not fun. Well, I just happened to check my leg. And for some reason the catheter had come out, which is really rare, weird. So she listens to those things, you know, but I'll say she's very supportive when it comes to like, the diet that we eat, you know, we tried to eat pretty carb moderate, and we were very active people. She is a partner in all of that. But fortunately, you know, I don't, I don't my management. It's so second nature to me these days, you know, having it for 30 years. There's not a lot that, that that goes her way. I will say when we first met over a decade ago before I got a sensor, and we were we were having fun, you know, like we would go out and eat, eat cheat meals and all that she she witnessed a couple of a couple episodes where I was extremely hypoglycemic and a little confused, and that scared her a little bit. So she's had to witness those things and help me a little bit at times. Yeah, but most of my management now that's just it's me.

Scott Benner 44:40
So that brings up a good point. I'm assuming Yes, but do you do it with your children too? Like, do they know how to help you with glucagon?

Justin 44:47
No, so it's funny because you know, they're three and five and I think my oldest Addison she she would understand it a little bit if I if I sat her down and in you actually bring up a great point because it's something I should probably start talking talking to her about as she gets older and I haven't they understand that oh you're you're checking your blood sugar or Oh, you're you're pumped they get it, which is really cool. But I if daddy went down, I don't I don't think they would know what to do if you know mom wasn't here in my my, my wife works 12 hour shifts, so she's gone for 14 hours. So when I'm here with the kids, it is just us for a very long time. And I'm going to take a note too, because I don't want

Scott Benner 45:31
to see anything bad happen to you. But I just had this like interesting image of like a three to five year old standing over you the spent like Jeeva Capo bed you wake back up and like we got it that don't worry about it. I mean, it's something you're gonna say to him eventually. Right? And it's Oh, absolutely. You're making me think of this video I just saw online where there's a fire in on a kitchen fire. I don't know what I don't people must have cameras all over their house at this point. I don't understand exactly. But you know, something's on fire in the kitchen, the guy that put the thing on, he's gone for a little bit. This very little kid like walks in the room like little and just assesses the situation. And turns around is like, whoa, everybody. The kitchens on fire. You know, like really like, like, sounds the alarm for everyone. I'm assuming nobody ever told him to do that. And you know, I funny? Yeah. I mean, I get your three. Your three year old is not going to help you. Five or six man. I don't know. Like he's there. Yeah. Which one do you have?

Justin 46:27
For the glucagon? Yeah. Which

Scott Benner 46:29
one do you use?

Justin 46:30
It's just the typical Well, that would be the the hard thing to you have the red box open? Yes. I

Scott Benner 46:35
have the red box. It's been discontinued. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if it's actually happened yet, but it's happening. So your options are and full disclosure there. There are an advertiser, the G voc hypo pen, which is where all about it's super simple. I bet your kids could do that. And then there's the knees. Sam writing it down right now. Yeah, but and there's a nasal spray too, but I don't know. interested? Yeah, I'd be more. I'm looking around for it. I have a I don't know where it's at. It looks like an epi pen. And you pop the cap off. Press it against the skin. You get one click the second click means it's done. That's it. I have an episode that explains how to use it. But yeah, I don't know. Anyway, just isn't it funny? Like this is your job. And I almost think you and I are looking at each other. I don't do every episode looking at people. But I was like, Hey, how about glucagon? And I saw your eyes for all like, hell. Yeah, but no, anyway,

Justin 47:32
firefighters are the worst that were

Scott Benner 47:36
I every time a thin pretzel like like a hard pretzel from a bag, this is gonna seem like a left turn. Every time I have one of those I think about my dad, because they would, they would sit on the bar at the firehouse. My dad was a fireman. And oh, cool. They guys would get together. They drink beer on the weekend. So it always be this basket of pretzels there. And like they didn't eat those things sort of pretzels. Like I, I take a bite of one of those. And I can see my dad like leaning on the bar. And like all that stuff. It's pretty interesting. I went back there recently for an event. And the whole place had been completely just renovated. And I was looking around I was like, where's Where's where's my childhood memory? What you guys deal with it? And yeah, they're like, oh, that's over there now. And I was like, okay. But anyway, we spent a lot of time doing that. Also, people don't realize you're in a rig. And the sirens are going to you know what you're heading to? Does that hit your blood sugar? You get adrenaline from that?

Justin 48:38
Yeah, it can. It kind of it goes to its to that same as a rough night. It's the stress or I had. I had an interview the other day for lieutenant's position. And I was so nervous that I think that stress hormone was present, I became a little insulin resistant. And I'm like, I watched my blood sugar trend up and up and up. And so calls that have been intense or made me a bit nervous. It has affected my blood sugar. It's fairly rare. Now, you know, it does take a lot to get me spun up or excited. But we go to like a pediatric call or we I was on a train derailment here. Wow. That that one spun me up a little bit too. I will post a bio by an hour, two hours and all that it will start to just naturally trend up in the wrong direction. So yeah, it most certainly does.

Scott Benner 49:37
Do you have any issues? I'm assuming your algorithm kicks in, but then when the adrenaline goes away, you need to eat ever for that afterwards,

Justin 49:44
you know, you know, I haven't I haven't had any issues. The only time I've crashed after an episode like that a stressful incident has been because I've been overly aggressive self bolusing because I'm sure Trying to get it down because I'm hungry or whatever it may be. And so then all of a sudden, you know, you have your algorithm that's kicked in, it's not working fast enough for you. So then you self Bolus, and then all of a sudden you take off the wrong direction. And you start trending down pretty rapidly. I've done that several times, just out of frustration of like, Gosh, darn it I want to eat or whatever it is, or I've been high for two hours or three hours, like just come down. So your pump wants to work a little more slowly and safely than that. Me getting a little overly aggressive. Yeah,

Scott Benner 50:33
trying to get through it. Yeah, yeah, um, I take your point, though, about eventually, it just becomes like I can, I can put myself back in a cab of a truck, and you're hearing like things coming over the radio. And when you're younger, it's like, ah, but as you do it longer, you just start prioritizing in your head, like when we get there, I'm going to do this, and then this, and then I'm gonna, like it just sort of turns into, it's interesting, because something that would freak most people out eventually, you see is like, just kind of black and white. Exactly. Yeah. So we're 50 minutes into this. And I think we're covering what you did. But I want to be sure, like, why did you want to come on the podcast

Justin 51:09
I've wanted. So this was out of recommendation from people that I surround myself with friends, they're like, You need to start speaking about your experience with diabetes, and you need to, you know, and not to not to not to sound like overly cocky or confident or toot my own horn. But I feel like for 30 years, I've been pretty successful. And on the other side of that, I think a lot of us now know someone who has passed away from diabetes complications, or who's had it, or who's considered a fragile diabetic or whatever else. And so, I've told myself, I wanted to start volunteering my time, and speaking to individuals like yourself, about my experience, and what I do, and hopefully people who who want to listen, maybe we'll learn something, or even with kids, or people who feel like Man, this sucks having diabetes, and like, I feel like I may be limited or I can't do these certain things. Well, I mean, I just want people to know that that is not the truth at all, especially with all the new technologies that we have. So for me, I just wanted to you know, what you taught me, like, hey, you need to teach your daughters you need to get you need to update your glucagon. So it's kind of those things like I'm hoping to catch something, but I'm also hoping to contribute. And that's my biggest thing is like, an individual I work with his son got diabetes at the age of seven. And he saw me at the fire service. And this was when very little people knew I had it. He came up to me, he goes, Hey, I hear you have a secret. And I'm like, what, what secret you're talking about here? And he goes, Well, I know you're diabetic. And he said, Hey, I have a son who's diabetic. And he said, I want you to know that it's really cool to see you out here. Acting just as acting, participating in succeeding just like everybody else, because he's like, that's what I want for my son. And so for me, it made me feel like okay, I've done a pretty good job. Have I? Have I been perfect? Absolutely not. Am I still high? Sometimes? Yes. Do I still go low? Sometimes? Yes. Do I still eat crappy food? Sometimes, yes. But I also pay attention. I'm very involved. And I feel like if I can get out and share my story and talk to people like yourself and learn a little bit, I hope that people will just see that like, okay, I can do it, I can do whatever I want. I'm no different. It's just, you know, I always say that I'm driving a stick shift. Everybody else is driving an automatic.

Scott Benner 53:38
That's it. What do you think the keys are to the path that you're on?

Justin 53:43
I think it's just, you have to be very willing to put in the time and pay attention, right? I think a lot of us want the pill, right? Like if your blood pressure's high, just give me the pill. If your cholesterol is high, just just give me the pill we all we all want to do. The the eight minute ABS or the seven minute abs, nobody really wants to do that the hour in the gym. I think where the success comes is is you have to be willing to, to put in the time to to pay attention really put in the effort. Do a little exercise. Prep your meals, don't don't eat, don't in like I said I mean, from a mental standpoint, you got to go out with your friends and you gotta eat Red Robin every so often or whatever. I don't know why I keep using Red Robin.

Scott Benner 54:34
Every time you said it makes me think yum.

Justin 54:38
Exactly. But I think I think it's just it's just be be willing to pay attention and be willing to put in the time that it takes to manage it because it does take time and I've had frustrations all the time.

Scott Benner 54:51
And you just gotta you gotta get back to it that it's just I think so for me. The way I've learned to talk about it is that it that you just first need to understand how insulin works, right? Like, there's just nothing else is going to work if your settings are wrong, and you don't understand how the insulin actually works, from there, eliminating as many of the speed bumps as possible. That's what creates free time in your life and free space in your head. And you can actually go live the way you want to when you're always afraid. Like, I mean, honestly, the story here is you sleeping at work versus you sleeping at home, right at work, you're not sure what's going to come, you can never really relax. And if you don't know what's going to come with diabetes, you can find yourself in the same situation. So I you know, I just think that step one is understanding how insulin works. And then, you know, moving from there,

Justin 55:46
I think that that's huge, too, is kind of understanding how diabetes works. And I have been absolutely blown away by some of the people that I've talked to for the amount of time they've had diabetes. And not only them, but the people that are close to them, family members have no idea. And like I said, I have a just a quick little story. And this is what I see frequently. We went to a guy who was very hypoglycemic, we started an IV, we tuned him up, we got his blood sugar back, and within five minutes, he's up and he's feeling just fine, a little embarrassed, but neither he or his family knew how to treat hypoglycemia. This is what do we do? If that happens? Should we give him insulin? And I'm like, you want to kill them? Sure.

Scott Benner 56:31
That happens a lot. That really does happen a lot. People say that a lot. Well,

Justin 56:35
you know what's interesting, this guy had had diabetes for 25 years.

Scott Benner 56:39
The people around him no idea.

Justin 56:42
Not a clue. Not a clue. And so maybe he was maybe he was a little more educated. But I have a feeling if the people that were around him had no idea. He's probably not far behind that. Yeah, right. Right. Far ahead of

Scott Benner 56:55
it. In the end, it doesn't matter anyway. Because when someone gets dizzy, it's him. So yeah. We don't want the Dizzy guy being the only one with the information. So yeah, well, listen, we just it just I get the vibe, but you don't actually listen to the podcast, which is actually fine. I don't I don't mind. But how did you find it?

Justin 57:14
Yeah, so I did start listening to the podcast. But you're right before that I did. And so I listened to a lot of different health related podcasts. But I have not listened to anything diabetic specific. It wasn't until I first reached out to you that I started digging in to find more specific podcasts and even there's a camp local to us that I'm going to donate my time to for children that I started listening to podcasts like yours in I don't know why. Not that I know everything about diabetes or anything. I just felt. I don't know why I didn't listen to him. But But ultimately, yes, I am new to it was because I wanted to start sharing my story and in learning and being surrounded in, in the community of of folks like myself, right to just start offering my and sharing my experiences and learning from other people how they're doing it too, because I know there's people out there that are probably doing things differently than me that I can pick up some stuff from, or maybe doing it better than me too. So I think it just it makes it makes sense. It just took me a while to get there.

Scott Benner 58:24
Yeah, I mean, I understand. I mean, the reason I make the show, the way I make it is because it's my concern that people will like if we just got on and said the stuff. People would be like, I'm not this boring. You don't I mean, like I'm okay, I got a seven and a half a one. See, my doctor seems happy, like, why am I going to listen to this. So I've tried to mix it in more with people's stories. And you know, and then we slip the management in places, and hopefully everybody kind of comes along for the ride. But there's a Pro Tip series that helps people with management, there's both beginning series that helps newer people. One of them that I'm really proud of is the defining diabetes, because there's I don't know how many at this point, like dozens of terms that people just don't know. And they get like, think about it, like how do you not know how to stop a low blood sugar if you've had diabetes, but it's fairly common. And it's people who are like, the one that always sticks with me is that a lady said until I listened to your show, I didn't know I was on MDI. I also didn't know what MDI meant. Like imagine doing something every day you don't know the name of and yeah, you know, How good can you be at it? If you don't understand when someone says Bolus or hypoglycemia that your mind doesn't right away? No, hypo means blood you don't mean like, exactly like hearing it's like hearing a foreign language so you know

Justin 59:43
that it's it like my job. I've looked back at it and I we've I've had some very rewarding moments and for yourself, you have to feel that same way. When you hear a story like that, right like that. How cool is that that you are it's a very involved disease if you want to do Well add it in, you want to pay attention, right? It is, it's not as simple as just taking a pill for the most part, especially with type type one. So for you to be educating and helping folks and you hear someone say something like like that, that's got to be pretty rewarding for you.

Scott Benner 1:00:17
It is. And here's a good example of you only know what you know, earlier, you talked about your cannula getting knocked out, but you call it a catheter, because that's what you're, that's what you're surrounded with most of the time. Yeah, right. And not that, by the way, not that either of those is wrong. But like colloquially, you'd call it a cannula and you know that for sure. Right? And but you're so if you're, if you're not surrounded by the words, when you go to do something, how do you like, and then the words are tools. So if you don't have the tools, then how do you know what to do when you get into the situations and I mean, the way the healthcare system is set up, like you're not gonna, no one's gonna tell you any of that, like, so you're on your own to hopefully glean as much of it as you can, where are you going to find that from, especially when, as you know, you pointed out with your story, and many people have before, it's not like you're running around with a million people who have diabetes, and you can all kind of like, lean on each other a little bit. You know, what

Justin 1:01:08
I really appreciate appreciate about your podcasts, especially as I started listening to it in I felt this way, when our physicians are overwhelmed, right, and whether that's a general practitioner, or an endocrinologist, or whoever it is that you see, thinking about 20 minutes with you. In my personal opinion, it's not enough time, I can't tell you how many times I've spoke with my endocrinologist, which I really enjoy. But I feel like they're not going to remember the the conversation that I just had with them. 20 minutes after I'm gone, they're on from one person to the next into the next into the next. So it's, it's our duty, as a diabetic and my duty as a diabetic to to, to be very involved myself, no one's going to do it for me, but also to share what isn't isn't working for me, because I've been frustrated with my physicians, because I can just tell that they don't have the time. They can't sit down there with you and baby you through all these things. You really have to pay attention to do these things yourself. And that's why I think podcasts like yours, where you're educating people are the people who are willing to hop on and listen and do it. I mean, it's the it's going to be the best route for you.

Scott Benner 1:02:14
I can't tell you how, in the beginning, I had a blog, and it was popular. And it helped people I could tell by the feedback, but the leap from a blog to a podcast for how many people you hear back from and how much more quickly they can absorb the information and all the all that stuff. It's been like, it's crazy. I am honestly at the point now, where if I don't hear from 20 people a day, I think the internet's broken, you know, there's nothing wrong with the internet, how come I'm not getting the emails and the notes today? Like, you know, I mean, I just take your point. It's, it's, it's a perfect distribution system for this sort of stuff. And I'm glad it exists because you meet a person who was just diagnosed. And maybe I never say hi to them, maybe I don't know them, but they know me. And they know this conversation. And I just think about 20 years from now, when their life just kind of rolling along. They'll, they'll have forgotten about me by then, which is absolutely fine. Like I don't I don't want people mired in it. I want them to, like thrive, you know. And it's just it's very cool to think that you're impacting something like that they had the real opportunity to go the wrong way. Yeah, but your, your point about the doctor's appointments. So my, my son just got his first job and left the house and my daughter's in college. And as soon as I, I was like, Alright, I'm gonna, like take care of better hair myself. Like, there are things my body doesn't do well, that I'm like, I've been ignoring this my whole life, like I'm going to figure it out. But through making the podcast, we met a integrative endocrinologist that helps my whole family with their thyroid issues. And I thought, I'm just gonna go to her. Like, she's like, don't get me wrong. She's the cache doctor. You know what I mean? But But here's, here's the difference. My initial appointment was 90 minutes long. I sat in a chair, she sat next to me, we chatted, I went over my entire life health history, she took notes she got done, she said, here are the three areas I think we need to do blood tests for I went to I mean, I can't believe I didn't run out of blood the other day when I was when I was at the lab. And when those tests come back in a couple of days, I don't have to go back and see her again. She's gonna send me an email. Your tests are back. We're gonna do the things we talked about here, here and here. Is there a place I can send a prescription to where blah, blah, blah, or do this? And it's happening, it's happening. It's happening. It's not like I see them. The test comes back four months later, I get another appointment. I cancel it because my kid fell. And then it's now it's nine months later, they ended octopus. I have to run those labs again. They're too old. Like it's that hell you get stuck in, you know? So, I mean, I don't know what we'll think You're out or what we won't figure out. But I know for certain there's an honest, focused effort going into it. And I can still turn into my insurance who will pay for most of it. So it's hard. That's, you know,

Justin 1:05:12
as I say, it's, it's rare that you have found that and that's why I've recently just had an appointment yesterday with the doctor who specializes in functional medicine, just because I know that I'm not completely happy with my endocrinologist, but at the, you know, where I'm at, I feel like most of the times my visit for them is just to update a prescription. And they look over my trends. But I mean, when you're looking at three months worth of blood sugar data, and you do it over a 15 minute period, I mean, what are they really? Are they really getting out of it? And he looks at me when seeing he's like, Oh, you're at 6.1. He's like, that looks really good. He's like, Oh, I see you had 40 in there. Don't be 40 anymore. I'm like, Okay, that sounds good. Was there anything else I can do for you how your how your prescriptions are they fall? Like, well, I can probably use, you know, a refill on the Novolog. He's like, okay, good. Well, hey, we'll see in three months, wherever you get your bloodwork done. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:06:01
he's your drug dealer. Really? He's your drug dealer? Justin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%, you bump into him on the corner, he acts like he cares about you a little bit gives you a prescription for a job, okay, full pen and some insulin and you're on your way. Again, you made it more eloquently stated earlier, it's not their fault. Like, it's just the whole things like this, you know, I had a Yeah, I can't say with who. But I got invited to grand rounds at a pretty prestigious hospital. So like, I'm going to give the talk at Grand Rounds. Right? And hopefully very cool. That'll all come together. And but while we were setting it up on the phone, I said, you know, can I float an idea I've had to you that I've a lot of people have like, heard and been like, oh, we can't do it. It's always around insurance. And I said type ones, type twos also, but type ones very specifically, stop seeing them 15 minutes at a time. Why don't you have them all come into an auditorium and talk to them for three hours? Why not do it that way? You know, and then run around at the end and do the personal hand, whatever you got to do for insurance. I'm like, but they all have the same questions, or they all have the same idea. You know what I mean? Like do it all at once I say let them sign something that waives their HIPAA rights if they want to, like talk out loud or something like that. But but that's a better way. It's really it's a podcast in person. And that's a great idea. And I've sent it to a couple of hospitals. Some of them are like, Oh, it's insurance problems. It's HIPAA issues. But the last time I sent it to somebody, the person on the other end of the phone said, Boy, I've thought about that, too. And I'm like, should do it should do a pilot program with 20 people, you know, and see if you can't see a measured difference. So anyway, there's a free idea for everybody. That's all I kept you longer than I said, I was going to you okay. No, I'm

Justin 1:07:54
absolutely fine. Yeah. All right.

Scott Benner 1:07:55
Is there anything that we haven't talked about that we should have? No, you know, I

Justin 1:07:58
think for me, and hopefully, in the future, I'll jump on here with you again, you know, but but for me, it was just wanting the chance to get on and just chat about being a type one diabetic and, and, you know, 30 years is or 31 years is not the oldest living diabetic out there. And not the longest by a longshot but, but I just want people to, for me, I want people to know that you can be successful. You know, there's a lot of great technology out there. You can do anything you want to do. I mean, I'm a very active person, we travel a lot, we do a lot of fun things, you're not limited by anything. And so for me, that's that's kind of my big thing is, is just being able to hop on with individuals, like yourself, learn a few things from you share a few things about my life, and hopefully, like like, you know, educating people and people say, Wow, that's great. I can't believe that. I didn't know that now. I know that. Yeah. I'm hoping hoping people will will catch something from me.

Scott Benner 1:09:02
I think they will. This is a terrific conversation. Do you have like social media where people can find you? Yeah, so

Justin 1:09:07
I just have a personal Instagram account. And it's it's at J Maurice. That's my middle name. It's J M. Au, our ice 81 My birth year.

Scott Benner 1:09:19
Give it to me again. I'm gonna look it up. J.

Justin 1:09:21
J. Maurice. 81 is J M. Au our ice 81

Scott Benner 1:09:27
for there at other J Maurices on Instagram. You wouldn't think that there

Justin 1:09:33
would be but it just just J Maurice wasn't wasn't available. And most of what I post on there is is my my young little daughters because they're they're more fun than me.

Scott Benner 1:09:43
Yeah. All right. Well, cool. I hope people can reach out and find you there. I really do appreciate you doing this. Thank you so much.

Justin 1:09:50
Yeah, Scott was nice to meet you. And I hope like I said one day in the future. I hope we can chat again and stay in touch and maybe I can bring you some information and I I can learn from you. And like I said, I've started listening to your podcasts. And I've been more focused on that. Because for me wanting to be more involved in deliver, hopefully deliver education and continue to learn things, and especially show young children that, you know, I was young too, and I had it in kind of a look at me now, I hope to stay involved. And I hope to chat with you again.

Scott Benner 1:10:24
All right. I'm going to ask you one more thing before you go. I appreciate all that. Sure. How the hell did you get more racism? middle name?

Justin 1:10:30
Oh, yeah, right. I know. Not very, not a very typical, and it wasn't that whose family did you? Well, my dad's best friend's name was Maury. And so they originally wanted to name me after my dad's not my mom. But my dad and his best friend wanted to name me, Maury. And my mom was like, No way.

Scott Benner 1:10:54
She's like, Oh, yeah, so

Justin 1:10:56
somehow they came up with Maurice and it landed is my my middle that I do have I have three first names. My My last name is also a first name.

Scott Benner 1:11:08
Well, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but your episode title might be the pomp what does that line from that Song Pop Pop potamus of love eponymous of love or however you said is it? Yes. The Joker?

Justin 1:11:20
The Steely Dan song? I think it is.

Scott Benner 1:11:23
Is it not? Steve Miller? How do you not know?

Justin 1:11:26
Steve is Steve Miller? Yes. Yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:11:29
I'm like, am I barking up the wrong tree here? I think it's in the Joker. Right? Everybody calls people call me more people call me Murray's. Yeah, well, that might be your episode title. Hey, I love it. That's really wonderful. I have said it before. And I'll say it again. My middle name is terrible. And I'm never gonna say it on here. Maybe on the last episode, but I'll tell you when we get off. So thank you very much. I appreciate it. You got it. A huge thanks to Justin for coming on the show today and sharing his story. I also want to thank Dexcom dexcom.com/juice box head over Now get yourself a Dexcom G seven or maybe a G six. Of course the podcast was also sponsored today by us med. You can get your diabetes supplies just the same way we do at US med. As a matter of fact, I'm going to do something with you right now. I got an email the other day that Arden's Omni pod supplies, were ready for filling. I found the email. I've clicked According to our records, your prescriptions or supplies are due for refill blah, blah, blah, check my address. Reorder, it's done. Us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 hand to God as they say I just reordered Arden's Omni pod supplies through us mud in the time that you heard me do that. Honestly, I kind of forgotten about the email that arrived the other day. I was just downstairs a half an hour ago. My wife's like, hey, there was a phone call from us med about reordering supplies, which means the email came after I had it for a few days and I didn't reply. They started calling my house. My wife reminded me I came up here found myself making this ad completely just randomly, and you listen to me reorder the Omni pods. That's how long it took. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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