Scott Benner 10/26/23 Scott Benner 10/26/23

#1049 Parenting: Brainstorming the Series

Erika is a licensed marriage and family therapist who herself has had Type 1 diabetes for over 30 years and who specializes in working with people with diabetes and their families and caregivers—from those newly diagnosed to those experiencing it for decades. Today, she and Scott launch a parenting series.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1049 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'm welcoming back Erica Forsythe and Eric and I are going to do something a little different than what we've done in the past. We're going to build an entire series around an idea. That series, as you can tell from the title is about parenting, it's going to expand beyond type one diabetes. But at the same time, I think that parenting skills and diabetes parenting skills go hand in hand. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If at any point in this series, you think I'd like to check Eric out, she has a great website, Erica forsyth.com. She sees patients virtually and in person. If you're a California resident, check out her website to see what states Erica is licensed in. If you'd like to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com, you can do that with the offer code juice box at checkout. And to get a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order use my link drink ag one.com/juice box. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies from her Dexcom and her Omni pods. But they have much more than that. You'll learn more about them when you check them out at us med.com/juicebox Or by calling 888-721-1514 You can get your supplies the same way we do from us med. Okay, so just so you know, like I've hit record already. Okay. All right. So I Okay, where do we want to start with this? You and I have never done this this way before. But this this is a pretty common thing that Jenny and I do. So Jenny, and I used to brainstorm privately about series. And then one day I said why don't we record the brainstorming and make that the first episode of the series. That way people can listen, decide if it's something they're interested in and get a fair idea for the direction we're gonna go in. So you and I are going to try that. Let's go. Yes, no, I was worried. I was worried. Because you are a careful speaker.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:46
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 2:50
I still don't I don't think that matters. I think we can do this. So I'll give you a little bit of my thought. And then we'll figure it out. So I was thinking we could do sort of a parenting list like, I don't know, the first way it popped in my head was, you know, what are the worst parenting mistakes that you've seen in your job? And I thought through that, there's something and then I started thinking about a little more, I thought, well, maybe there are also good things that you've seen that are valuable. And like so I don't know what we'll call the episode yet. I think we'll figure that out as we're going. But I'm wondering if we couldn't build a list of things that you have seen that have been valuable things that you've seen that have been detrimental? And maybe a little bit of what's in between? Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Yes. I'm gonna open up a file because you're, you're gonna be the thinker today. So I'll be the TypeR.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:49
Okay. I think it might be important to note before we start listing, you know, parenting mistakes, communication, mistakes, errors, just to not say the obvious that parenting is one of the most challenging things ever in life. And speaking as a parent, I am not I am far from perfect and make these mistakes myself. And but I'm sure Scott, you never do

Scott Benner 4:18
think my whole life is a parenting mistake, I would imagine. Well, you know what, I meant that to be funny, but it might be true. No, I don't mean just me. I mean, somebody parented somebody made a mistake lead to another thing that led to me that led to Bob about maybe it is all a learning mistake. But no, I think that so I don't think about it the same way. I don't think of things I do is like mistakes or wins or something like that. But I do think it's a continual learn learning process, but that there is a sweet spot and you no matter where you jump in, if you're not ready I don't know how to put this, you're going to be doing micro damages that, that you may never be aware of, or that may not like rear their head for, I don't know, 10 years or two generations, I have no idea. But it's such a bizarre feeling to think that I have the ability to do something that will create a problem or a, you know, a good thing for somebody that I might never even meet. super interesting.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:33
generationally, yes. Yeah. It's crazy generational patterns. Yeah. And I think even what you said, you know, you might not be ready most of us are most parents aren't. What? And how would you define ready? What does it mean to feel ready to parent another? That's another conversation too, but I think you do. It is an evolution of learning. And maybe mistakes is even the wrong word to use. And I think the first step would be the awareness piece, right? You might be acting or parenting in a way that you are not aware. That could be causing pain or suffering or damage. But that also might be a result of your own pain and suffering as a child, as well.

Scott Benner 6:18
Let's let's do something first, before we move, okay, because you're just right. I don't think I don't think of it as a mistake, either. You know, like, I had kids, when I was fairly young, I would be a different parent if those kids came out today. Right. But, you know, if you, if you use the Magic Wand idea where you took the thoughts in my head now and put them in the thoughts in my head when I was in 20, then I think overall, things might have turned out better. Like, and I don't say that they turned out poorly. I just there may have been, you know, I don't know, better decisions made them there by me. But if you make me 52 years old, and give me a baby right now, well, then I'm going to make some better decisions. And then some things aren't going to be nearly as good because I'm not have the same energy or etc. Right. But I guess the idea is, is to share with people, things that we've seen in our own personal lives, or that you've seen clinically, that with reasonable certainty led to something, but I don't want to call them mistakes. So let's find better words, and you'll be good. So what did we call it? Because I said mistakes and winds, which was way wrong, like it just not smooth? What are we really talking about?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:35
Patterns, maybe? Negative, harmful, harmful decisions, harmful patterns? inconsistent? Yeah, I guess patterns is there is really the, because we might have a really good method of disciplining. And then we might make, we might forget, or we might be tired. But it's really we're talking about the over, over time saying or doing the same thing, without changing or without either having the awareness or desire or the know how of how to change and in effect, positive change in your relationship with your child.

Scott Benner 8:21
So somebody asked me the other day that we were talking about, like interpersonal communication. And I said, the one of the things about me that I'm proud about as a as a matured person, is that I'm incredibly consistent. Like, like, and that person said back to me, you're very authentic. And I said, Well, that may be, but I'm consistent. If you ask me a question at 8am or midnight, you're gonna get the same answer for me that, you know, if it happens on Wednesday, or Sunday, or December, and everybody's had that Christmas anxiety or whatever I, I, I'm basically a common sense person. So I don't get ruled a lot by the things going on around me, if that makes sense. And I think consistency is incredibly important for anything for parenting. I think consistency is why the podcast as well, you know, and I don't even just mean like, what you're hearing. I mean, the way the podcast gets made when it comes out what people expect, right? And that's a trust. Like, think of that for a second, if you consistently make the podcast people trust that this thing is going to happen. That's what consistency brings to parenting. Is this comfort, right? Like, I hear my wife discuss sometimes, how she never knew what was going to happen. Mm hmm. And she once told me how she felt manipulated as a child. When if they were acting up, her mom would say, Hey, guys, if you're good for the rest of the day, we're gonna go to McDonald's. And then no matter how good They were or weren't. They were not going to McDonald's, like, and so it never happened. So it was like, it was like this carrot on a stick. That wasn't real. But the kids didn't know it. Mom probably couldn't even afford to go to McDonald's. She just said a thing she thought would shut them up for a couple of hours. You know what I mean? But interestingly, as an adult, four decades later, that feeling that it bred in my wife, I think it's still tournaments are the idea that you can't trust people when they they say things to you sometimes. So you don't I mean,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:35
yeah, so and that might also create their narrative for as a child growing into an adult that no matter what I do, I'm never good enough. Okay, that's pretty, that's pretty common.

Scott Benner 10:46
Yeah, that's so cool that you said that, not that that happens to people. But that, right, like, even a thing that, listen it again, we get in a time machine, go find my wife's Mom, 50 years ago, and say to her, what were you doing, when you did that? She's probably gonna say, look, I was out of my mind, I had four kids, you know, like, I needed them to stop, I had stuff to do, like, whatever. If you said to her, then that action turned one of your kids into somebody who doesn't believe their parents, and that that has ripple effects in their own life. And by the way, the thing you just said, and by the way, if we put four more voices on this conversation, for more people might come up with four other things that come from that. That's the kind of stuff you can't know, while you're doing it. So there has to be some sort of consistency to your decision making to stop these unintended and undesired outcomes. That, you know. I don't know that that's it, right? Like, okay, but still good conversation. But we did not come up with better word, a word good or bad. So Hey, viewers, why don't we just said positive? I just need language for my conversation, or I'm gonna fun for over it. So I'm gonna say positive. And for the moment, I'm gonna say unintended. Hmm, I like that. Okay. Or is it intended and unintended, positive intended? Everything I

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:16
did intentionally unintentional

Scott Benner 12:19
unintended. Maybe the conversation is going to reveal the words. So maybe the people listening right now are yelling a word in their car,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:27
they might say, yes, please share it.

Scott Benner 12:29
I've thought of this. Okay, so let's just I know, your brain doesn't work like this. So we'll get this out of the way first, okay, unintended things that people do, that you see over and over again, that don't lead to good outcomes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:48
I think we could start with what you shared the example of your wife, the inconsistent discipline, slash motivation, okay? Just like the the, if you're good, then this will happen. And no matter how good the child was, they never got it. But I also, you know, you could see, the converse of that is, no matter what happens, the child gets the McDonald's. Okay, so, yeah, so it's just inconsistent follow through in the discipline slash motivation,

Scott Benner 13:26
or sprinkling some sort of praise or gifts on them for no reason. It's just as bad. So what's that idea of just kind of like, blindly?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:42
Oh, you know, usually people say nowadays, like everyone gets a trophy parenting. Yeah, praising, praising for every little thing, and not. Which could be again, going back to maybe as a child, you were not affirmed for any kind of behavior. And only were disciplined for negative. And so maybe as a parent, you're saying to yourself, I'm going to flip that, and I'm gonna praise the heck out of my child because I never got that. As a kid.

Scott Benner 14:16
I'm calling that Cecil over corrections. Nice. Because, because that's really how I think of it like right, you grow up being treated poorly. And then you want you want to correct that action. So as a parent yourself, you overcorrect and then instead of doing the right thing, you end up just making a different mistake. Correct. Right. So okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 14:48
a different choice in how to parent Yeah, a different choice.

Scott Benner 14:51
But it's not just a choice, right? Because you can say, I'm going to be more positive than my parents were. But what happens when it gets into that space where your kid walks over? Around believing that everything they do is perfection, like, right, like that's an overcorrection.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 15:07
Yes. And you might see if a if a child gets in trouble for the sun making, you know, something at school, maybe the parents might have a challenging time, acknowledging that the child could do something like that.

Scott Benner 15:25
Yeah, that's a great example. A teacher says, Hey, your kid did this, you know, my kid doesn't do those things. What are you talking? Yeah, great. But I even mean, the I mean, we all No, a child who, who believes in themselves more than they should did it. And I don't mean that you shouldn't believe in yourself. I mean, like, obviously, you want to instill, you know, good self confidence in people and self esteem. But when there's this belief that there's nothing you do that's ever been wrong, or even worth questioning you, it's how you make an asshole. Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 16:03
yes. Well, and just it's very, maybe a black and white thinking or rigid thinking and perspective of themselves, where they cannot except they might make an error. This is rare, I would say we usually see more children and teens and adults with lower self esteem. Right? It's rare to see the bravado kid, but it does happen.

Scott Benner 16:27
Yeah, well, not to say that maybe those kids don't end up in therapy. But they are out in the world, having a bad experience, whether they know it or not, maybe they're pretending it's not a bad experience, because I'm terrific. And you must understand how amazing I am. So. But you know, I have an example I've used in the podcast before, I'm not going to like belabor it here. But I've met a kid like that is the only the only child I've ever met my entire life that I couldn't find a way to like, get you know, it was really something. And then you look back at the parenting structure. And there's one parent who's kind of quiet in the background very kind, I've never had a bad interaction with a person once in my life. Then there was another parent who was a monster. But the monster was the one pumping up the kid. And it was interesting, like, again, nasty person, I guess is the way I want to say it. Like you could see like, I don't know how to put this, like when you're speaking to them, you can see ill intentions behind their eyes, like they're calculating everything. They're sure they're better than you, and everyone around you, they've put this into the kid. And the other spouse seemed too kind to do anything about it. That makes sense. So that is that's another that's another thing you could do, I'm still going to just stick with wrong for now. But so you could overpower the other parent and not allow their input.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 18:08
So I'd say having a united front would be the positive maybe spin on that. So okay, being united in in parenting, the decisions you make. You might have different opinions and perspectives about certain situations, but ultimately the bottom line you agree on, and that is around your the boundaries that you're setting for your child. So it's a boundary boundary setting or having lack of boundaries.

Scott Benner 18:40
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Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:43
I would say both. And for you to model to model for your child that you and your and your partner can have disagreements. But you're modeling? How did how to disagree? Right to how to have a conversation around? Well, I think I think Johnny should be able to go to the thing. And the other parent says no, I don't think so. And then you can model for them. Why do you have these different perspectives? And ultimately, you know, maybe, quote unquote, one parent wins in that conversation. But ultimately, the parents have or the, you know, the adults are modeling to the child how to have a disagreement and communicate in a healthy way and landing in a decision that may or may not be that they both are agreeing to but they've agreed how they came to the decision.

Scott Benner 21:33
So what I what I've put here for under positive is model communication resolution. Yes. Okay. But at the same time, is it not also important to let them know that everyone's not always going to agree?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:55
Yes. Not everyone's going to agree. But I think you know, the classic example that you would hear as I go, I go to mommy and ask for the lollipop. And she says no, but then I can go to daddy, and I know that Daddy's gonna say yes to the lollipop. So they learned children learn those patterns. And so you want to be united? In some of the basics, I would guess I would say kind of foundational boundaries. Yeah.

Scott Benner 22:25
But when mommy pulls daddy into a coat closet to tell him he's an idiot for giving the kid the pump? Like, is it okay for the kid to see that? Like, hey, he can't have that, you know, not to give that to him? Like, I see I from for my money. That's okay. I'm okay. With age appropriate, by the way, everything's age appropriate. Yes, yeah. But for my money, it's alright. For, it's hard for one of us to be right. And one of us to be wrong, like, like, statically correct and incorrect in a situation, it's already for one person to speak up if the person who's wrong, disagrees. They need to be free to, I don't know, discuss and give light to their thought process? Well, I don't, you know, dinner is not for three hours, I don't think the lollipops gonna hurt him. I'm okay with that. Because and do those, because I believe those interactions help people to learn what they don't want to be when they're adults. I know, I think positive modeling is incredibly important. And I think that following through, and a number of other things that we will talk about in a minute. But like, those things are all important for kids to see. But I don't have a problem with them seeing things not going well. Like I think my children are completely aware of my wife's and my shortcomings. And you know, to me, what they learned from them is maybe my dad does this, I have a personality like him, I'm going to try not to do that. But big picture, we're still a successful family unit. And that, you know, we exist in the world well, and everything and I don't know, because I think that what I see sometimes from younger parents, is an attempt at perfection. And then anything less than perfection is a dumpster fire in their mind. And therefore life is terrible. Everything's horrible. My kid's gonna grow up to be a meth head. Like like it goes from zero to 100 really quickly. So under negative i guess i What is it that perfectionism does the children. That's my question, right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 24:46
I think leading them to believe maybe having those unrealistic expectations. I think that there's as a parent when we The whether there's a conflict and we can model conflict resolution, it's okay to have disagreements, I, I totally agree with all of those things. I think we are always able to model how to apologize and say, you know, what, we, whether it's a single parent thing or parents are made it, you know, felt like they mishandled the situation. One of the, I think the best parenting moves we can do is to say, gosh, you know, we had this conversation and I blew up at you, or, you know, we blew up at each other and trying to make this, you know, figure out this decision, and you know, we're sorry, next time, we're going to try and do it this way. Because then you get to model to your kid that, hey, we're going to make mistakes, we're going to say things incorrectly. And then I'm going to apologize, even if you're three years old, it's I think it's a beautiful intervention or, you know, practice,

Scott Benner 26:01
I would have put apology under a positive thing. And I, I wrote, arguing under negative. So I, my for my money arguing with children, like you are a child like, oh, yeah, they mean, like losing your shit. And then then finding yourself going, Oh, well, I'm as crazy as they are right now. Like, like that.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 26:30
happens. It happens. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 26:34
I've been involved in it. Yes. But but it's one of those things that you do have to stop yourself about also, on the apology thing. I want to be clear about this. You apologize when you're wrong. But apologizing can't be the scapegoat for your bad behavior? Yes. Right. Does that make sense? You can't willfully keep doing the same thing wrong over and over again, and then running back and saying I'm so sorry, because it's meaningless after a while.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:07
Because ultimately, and I just read this, quote, someone who focuses on boundaries, that if you continue to do the same pattern, same behavior, and then you continue to apologize. Ultimately, what you're really seeking is to kind of seek that comfort for whatever shame you're dealing with. Right? As opposed to apologizing to the person that you offended. You are apology, you're doing the behavior over you're asking for forgiveness, you're apologizing? And the person saying no, it's okay. It's okay. But it's, that's then then that's about you. So I think having going to that first step of awareness of my my doing this and asking for forgiveness, and apologizing five times a day, then I would look at that if it's.

Scott Benner 27:57
So I added that doing work on yourself as an adult under a positive thing. And to that, I mean, if you're having the same argument over and over again, if you're having the same thing that makes you upset, you have to remove yourself from the unit for a minute and go, Why am I doing that? You know, and, and so being willing to listen to a partner or your kid, like, you know, first some insight into yourself is important, because that's what you're looking for, you're looking for insight into yourself. But you first have to make the decision. Like what do they say, recognizing the problems, the first step or something like that, like so you have to get the figure out what the problem is first, and then say, I want to fix it. And if you can't find a path to that, then you have to go to trusted people and say, Hey, I do a thing. Do you have any idea why I do that? Or what have you noticed, like that kind of stuff? And of course, hopefully you have somebody to go to that you can trust who will have your best thing, you know, take care of you in that situation? And give you a good honest answer. Also, they might not know you may be married to a moron. I don't know. Like some Well, some of you, Erica. Erica, won't you say anything bad? That's your therapist. I wish I knew you as a real person and not as a therapist. Well, I'm similar. Here one day when I go my wife is married to one and you go oh, yeah, no, I see it. But, but I mean, that's really important that the idea that I guess seeing yourself as accurately as you can, is a real kind thing you can do for your children.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:39
And really difficult without either the the awareness desire and takes courage. I mean, you know, it takes a lot of courage and your desire to be authentic, right with who you are. And so to reach out and ask for insight or feedback You know, seeking feedback from your children from your partner from your co workers from your close friends. I mean, I'm just thinking about like, When is the last time? I asked other people that or I heard other people asked me that, you know, it's it's hard to do. Yeah, one of the problems is to seek that feedback. Yeah,

Scott Benner 30:19
one of the problems with being, oh, Eric, I'm going to use a word that makes me feel weird to say, but one of the problems with being present, is that is that life requires that is from you as well. And you also might be tired or sick or hungry, or any number of other things. And then there's these moments like I one of my biggest, like, one of the things I had trouble with, when I was younger, was if something happens, that needs attention, like right, in this moment, you know, if we get past this moment, it's going to dissipate, then all it's gonna be left is the bad thing that happened. Right? Like, like the opportunity to fix it is gone. But you can't literally stop. Yeah, that I hate that, because it feels like I don't know. It like it feels like, it feels like there's like a Geiger counter. And, and it's moved, sometimes it moves towards we're all gonna blow up. And sometimes it moves towards Don't worry, everything's fine. And once in a while you see it move towards, it's going to blow up and you go, Oh, I could bring it back to it's going to be fine. But you're on the way out the door that way, and I'm on the way out the door this way. And then it then it multiplies. Because instead of fixing it, you get in your car, and you're like she always does that. And now you're mad, right? Like, and then she's in the car, don't I my mom was right, he's such I gotta get out of this. And like, and that just keeps growing. And the counter goes the wrong way when he doesn't have to. I hope that made sense. But that's that. So a positive thing you can do is I'm just gonna say stop, drop and roll for now. And then we'll figure out a different, like, maybe even talk, there we go.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 32:04
And take a break. I mean, maybe that the stop, drop and roll, I like to you know, you're kind of before it's about to explode, and you're feeling you could feel it in your body. Your mind is racing or heated, things are being said quickly. Practicing just knowing when that happens is just okay to stop. And particularly if you're in front of the kids to stop, and it's not going to be solved and things can be. But that's the best thing you could do for you and your partner and your children is to stop and pause. Yeah.

Scott Benner 32:38
And the extension of what I said is that you should speak to each other when you're calm. So I think maybe the thing to do there is to make an agreement, while it's heated, that we're going to come back to this later when we're not busy. And when we're calmer. And never say the word calm your wife use a different word. There's a there's a there's a marriage tip from me to you. Also, I, my wife was yelling at me recently. And as I was standing there trying to figure out what happened. In my mind, like, she's like, What are you making that face for? And I couldn't say to her, I'm trying to figure out how this happened. But like, and then later, I'm literally I'm gonna say this people are going to be upset with me, I don't care. I have made myself a promise. I've been married for 26 years. There are three days during my wife's monthly cycle that I should not talk to her about important or emotional things. And yet, sometimes when it starts to happen, I can hear the voice in my head, go yo man, not now. And then there's another voice in my head that goes she's wrong. Just tell her she'll understand. And then 30 minutes later, I'm going well, what was I doing? What do they do? And so, again, I'm not saying women are not in control themselves. I'm saying that my wife, my personal wife has a heightened emotional state. It goes about three days. On one of those days, she likes me a lot. And then on the other days, if if you start to try to have like a deep conversation with her, her mind kind of goes to all the things that are wrong. Like and she gets a little like melancholy about it. And it's just not the right time to talk to her. There's also times it's not the right time to talk to me too. And I'm sure it's got to do with my hormones probably as well. But my point is my greater point is that you are not. It doesn't matter. It could be you and what was that British guy who was so smart during World War Two and everybody listened to him. Why am I not thinking of his name? This is ridiculous. Heavy guy cigar Churchill could be you and Churchill again. It's my wife on the wrong day. And she's gonna leave believing that you and Winston Churchill are idiots and that everything is bad. Like it shouldn't it's the wrong day to speak to her about that. And I know that and I still once in a while I step in it like a booby trap. And I'm like, Oh, my God, what am I doing. But that goes for your kids too. There are times you should not push things with people is Migrator. Trying to be amusing there for a minute, but you can't like you can't push things with people, they're not always ready for it. And what you're going to get out of them is not a give and take conversation, what you're gonna get out of them is whatever horribleness is inside of them that day, they are going to put it out into the world. And everyone does that. Male Female, happy, sad doesn't matter, people are going to do that. So you have to be good at choosing time in place to have conversations without letting it get past. So far past when it happened, that it's now push that push that needle too far to one side, and you can't get it back anymore. So you can make a fixable problem unfixable by not going after it and discussing it and you can make a fixable problem and fixable by discussing it at the wrong time. Yes, took me a while to do that. But I think that's

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 36:21
and that goes I know, we're kind of tutoring into, you know, the communication. Pros and Cons patterns. But I think the what you're getting at is not only being aware of your, your audience, right, and what they may or may not be going through whether you are knowing it or not, whether it's the cycle or the end of the day, or, you know, whatever else is going on, but also being aware of your state as well. And so, as you're entering into the conversation with your partner with your child, and you're addressing something that's maybe beyond just whether it's possible conflict, or ask to just be checking yourself having that awareness of how am I entering into this conversation? And how is the My the audience, the person I'm speaking to? Where are they at emotionally? Okay. And

Scott Benner 37:17
so what are some good traits of good parents so engaged, communicative, that I think being a good listener makes you a better person, better parent in general. What else?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 37:39
I think modeling as much as you can, healthy behavior holistically, not just how you communicate, but doing doing self care. We've talked a bit about that over the years of, because we know that parenting is 24/7. And even as you're working or managing other things, you're thinking about your kids, you're thinking about their blood sugar. And so it is so important for your kids to see you taking care of yourself in a way that might feel you might face the guilt or anything else. But I knew I know, sorry. We're sticking to just topics I go into your fine examples.

Scott Benner 38:21
That's what we're doing today. Okay, just pretend nobody's listening to us. And we're trying to figure out how we want to put this series together.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:26
Okay. So yeah, I think a pro would be to, to take that self care, take the timeout, so that you can be more emotionally present, when you are physically with them. And you're not just you're not running through that, you know, brush your teeth, clean your room Pre-Bolus and all those good things.

Scott Benner 38:48
So I ask people online about things they've seen. So I'm going to spend the rest of this time like talking about them, and then pulling out nuggets of what they've said, although I also want to throw in for myself. Being a martyr or overly dramatic is really not beneficial at all. Like it's, it's really it's a it's a mess, you should not do that. Okay, so. So this person says that good parenting is acknowledging a child's feelings, no, no matter how irrational they may seem. That seems good to

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 39:21
validate validate with a capital V. Yes. So validate.

Scott Benner 39:25
I like that you're going to be able to pull the words out of their thoughts. My parents would restrict sweets. And then when I started sneaking food and would get caught, they would shout at me for 10 minutes, which just taught me to hide it better. So what's the takeaway from that?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 39:42
I would say realistic and healthy boundaries, expectations around eating. Flexible, I'd say having flexibility

Scott Benner 40:00
Okay, so I got from that I got unrealistic boundaries and expectations. On the bad side I put be flexible on the good side with this is gonna work. Okay, hold on a second. I'm a single mom, I get no support. I'm the sole provider. One time my son was in this place where he would tell me he was going to live with his dad every time he was upset with me. I will up once and I said, go ahead and call him and see if he'll come get you tell him to pay for your insurance and all of your diabetes supplies. And let's see how long you stay alive. And she said, felt like a dick move. And I still feel bad about it today. But there's, there's a pro and a con in there. It's painful. It's for all of them, right? Because you can hear in that statement. She's struggling. The kid is being a kid and saying the worst thing they can think to say. But then she tells the kid, look, that guy doesn't care about you as much as I do. And if that's true, it's horrible for the kid. If it's false, it's horrible for the dad and the kid. And no matter what, it's not good for the mom. So what did she do? What did she mean? What did she mean to do that she could have done differently? That's, I think how we have to attack?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 41:28
Yeah, I think that's something just to speak to her. Obviously, I know you're she's probably shaming herself or videos. She's feeling badly about that, obviously, exhausted physically, emotionally. And so the comment came out, and it would be repairable if that is the one, you know, if that's a new a new type of conversation. If it's a common theme, I would encourage her. Sorry, I'm not answering your question.

Scott Benner 42:01
Sorry. Because you're helping therapy, you're, you're like me, here's my take from that, okay, you can never be degrading of your spouse. Like to your child, like it's, it's, it's their dad, like they, they are that they they look at that person or that woman, mother or father, and they feel like they're connected to that person. I'm partly you, if he's a piece of shit, then on a piece of shit. Like that's, I think, to me, that's the biggest mistake in there.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 42:29
I'd say yeah, if if there's one thing that when I'm working with with children and parents, who are divorced, that is one of the most challenging I know, but highly effective rules to follow is to not speak poorly about the child's other parent, when they're not when they're with you, you know, and I think that's really, really hard. But that's more about your own. That's between her and the dad.

Scott Benner 42:58
Right? I also think that they're, you know, taking her at her word, and this, she's being honest. And in a more age appropriate situ, I don't know how old this kid is, but under 18, obviously, but in a more age appropriate situation. I don't know that it's like if you're, if there's a parent that really is that much of a near dwell, and not helpful, then it's not wrong for them to know that, but I think you have to couch it to them in a specific way. You know, your dad, blah, blah, blah, your mom blah, blah, blah, you know, it's not, you know, they're trying or like to, you know, I think they're gonna, they're working on it, that kind of thing, even if it's not true. I mean, them knowing that the person isn't living up to expectations. Maybe he's, I mean, the kids got to know that. Right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 43:50
Right. And I would also wonder, thinking about her comment saying, whenever she would ask him to do something that he didn't want to do, he would threaten or to say, I want to go live with dad. And so maybe she had tried various different ways to problem solve every time he would make that comment. And it got to the breaking point of like, Fine, you know, go. And so I guess that I would either I would, it's hard, it's hard to kind of say what it what could she have done differently, not knowing that journey of what happened all along the way? And how she tried to connect problem solved with her son every time he would make that thread, if that makes sense. But because there's something going on in the sun as well. That's like this just a complicated hard one.

Scott Benner 44:39
Trust me, this other one's terrible. So so there are more than more than a few people who as adults are saying in this thread, like, you know, I was beaten for a number of different things. My room not being clean when my parents were not good at keeping our house clean. So even that like it's Oh, taking the the hitting out of it for a second. You can't punish your children, for your crime because you feel bad about it. So you are a collection of neurons and bacteria and all the things that make you up and you made a baby that is probably very likely like you. And then you look up and that baby's messy like you are, you don't want to be messy. So you're going to try to save them from it. And so I don't know where the lesson is in that except to say, the apple, you can't you can't yell at the Apple for fallen next to the tree it fell off of like, I mean, do you know what I mean? Like that's, I think, yes. These no hitting on my list?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 45:45
Yes, yes, no hitting, I think the one of the things, if you have that awareness, the things that maybe irritate you or aggravate you, the most in your children are most likely the things that you don't necessarily like about in yourself. And so that's often why they might be frustrating, like if your kid is really stubborn. And you see that stubbornness at play when you're asking them to clean their room. That might really irked you. And you might not know how to respond to that. And that's something to say, Well, gosh, maybe I'm really stubborn in these ways. And this is kind of a simpler example. But to have that awareness of like, why am I why am I triggered so easily when my child does or says X, Y, or Z? It might be because you're tired and stressed. But it also might be something within you that you haven't quite either understood or faced or expressed. Going back to the grace and compassion towards yourself for why you're that way.

Scott Benner 46:49
This person said screens, it bothers them when people abandon their children on on some sort of piece of electronics. That yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:57
I was gonna list I was gonna say one of the, you know, just having healthy technology, boundaries, which could be connected to also having, you know, quality time.

Scott Benner 47:13
Yep, too much. And quality, time means anything, right? It means together.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 47:22
It means together. And it means having that connection, and

Scott Benner 47:27
connected time, quality, connected time,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 47:29
quality, connected time where your child or even teenager knows that you are attuned to them. And I think one thing that gets in the way of this is that we think it has to be this long, fabulous, planned event vent. But it can be you walk in the door, and maybe we've talked about this before, but you walk in the door from work, or out of your office and you spend five minutes making eye contact connecting with your kid that builds attachment connection, and will feel like quality time for both of you. Or it's spending seven minutes outside playing catch, you know, it's it's it can be small segments of that quality time that builds up over time.

Scott Benner 48:13
Do you think that parents can be friends with their children and parent them at the same time? Hmm.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 48:21
That's a good question. And hard. I think you can be friendly, and have fun friend like moments. But where I guess it would depend on what your how you define being a friend as a parent.

Scott Benner 48:37
Yeah, I don't mean like smoke meth with her. But like, you know, I see what you're saying. But were you say, like, brings up like, there's a person here that says, Look, I'm very friendly with my daughter, we're buddies. But people say you shouldn't do that. But I like her. So I don't know that you can't be friendly with your kids. You just, you know, I guess the way to put it is I'm very friendly with my children. And we talked about like I told my eyes. I may or may not have made a weird off color comment to an x ray technician today who laughed like hell and then said something even funnier afterwards that I'm not gonna tell you about and then I texted my son because I thought it was hilarious. But like, that's fine. But at the same time, even at 23 years old, and taller than me and stronger than me. My son knows I am not fucking around. Like like it like when when the ship is happening. Like I'm his dad, like, we were when our son was in college for the first year. She came home or we went to see her during a break or something. She's talking about this kid she met that was doing this like crazy thing with money or something like that. And Arden said to me, you would kill me if I did that. And I And she's like, I would never do that. Like she and what I got out of that was their expectations. Right? There are rules lines and If I know if I cross too far over them, there's going to be an actual consequence. And I don't want that to happen. So that's, you know, I don't think that's not why she does anything, she doesn't do it because we kind of raised her in that direction. But she does know that if it happened, it wouldn't be okay. Like, I wouldn't just be like, okay, you know, there, I would do my job at that point, which is kind of how I say it is because nobody wants to beat like, it's not fun. Parenting sucks, in case people are wondering, it's not a ton of fun, like the love things, the only thing that pays you back, really the rest of it's really thankless. And but, but like, you still gotta do the thing. You know what I mean? Like, there's got to be rules. And and you also have to know, I think you also have to know that sometimes you make up rules when you're a younger parent, because they were things you did. You have to be it, you said be flexible, you have to be able to be flexible and go, You know what I've been saying this, but that's not necessary. Like maybe the times will change. Maybe my kid is different than I was when I was being parented for a number of different reasons. You have to adjust. But adjusting doesn't mean like moving the line, so that the kid can get away with anything they want, right? If adjusting means like reasonable adjustments.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 51:19
And I think what, in your example, with Arden, there, there has been consistency, right? So over time, she has learned that you love her, you guys can be playful and friends alike. But she knows there are boundaries and expectations. And so I think, yes, you can be friends with your child or teenager. But where I think it becomes challenging is as a parent to say, if you're if I'm your friend, it's gonna be hard for me to say no. Because then are you not going to we're not going to be friends still, you're not going to love me is that

Scott Benner 51:56
confusing to the kid if you'd like flip flop on them?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 52:00
Right? So what they but they what they need and what they are craving, as I think most parents really do know that they want those boundaries and expectations and for you to say no at certain times. That also instills security, safety, love a foundation of all of those really important things as opposed to saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because I think that will make you love me more as a parent. That's, that's hard.

Scott Benner 52:27
There's this one response from somebody frizzy I'm just going to put your entire response into my document well done. overpowering the child loving the child with conditions expecting more than is his or her developing brain capable of training of any kind of bad parenting. Be respectful, you know, gentle approach to the child showing unconditional love responsiveness with no exemptions. This person has been to therapy. Because like, yeah, that's all good. Go through your own childhood traumas break your cycles, break your cycles is such a thing that sounds cliched right now, me because internet and everything, but it's 100% Probably the biggest thing you could be doing. Don't put children into their own anxiety by yelling. Don't threaten punishment. Let's see. And if it happens, realizing that we are the idiots we've helped. Yeah, apologizing, letting them live through their emotions respect. Yeah, I you know what? A lot of people tell their kids what they feel. That's interesting. They hold on, don't tell your kids how they feel? Or they tell them what or who they are. Have you know what I mean by that?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 53:50
I think you can you can affirm and praise kids just reminding them of their love and that they are valued and worthy. I think sometimes there there might be if you're waiting for that pause, your own anxiety might fill that space and get tell them what they're feeling or tell them because you're also your kids might not know sometimes they do need that language right to say, are you feeling this way? Or I wonder if you're feeling this way or that way? I think one of the greatest gifts is to give your give that space for your kid, your child teen to think

Scott Benner 54:29
there's a list here from a person who was a who was who is a I guess they have they're a daycare person. This list alone, like this is I can't I'm not going to read it. But when you don't feel good about society. These are the reasons some of these reasons are. I just gotta give you one of them. Pepsi and a baby bottle. Hey, go. So I'm going to assume that I am honestly going to assume that a person We'll put that Pepsi in a baby bottle isn't listening to this podcast, and we're gonna we're gonna raise the level of conversation beyond that. Yeah, I mean, a, I guess, you know, it's easy to say some people shouldn't probably be parents at the at certain times their life but, man, that's tough. Okay, so

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 55:22
the overpowering over protecting,

Scott Benner 55:27
overpowering protecting overpower

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 55:28
yeah overpowering over protecting could be a theme.

Scott Benner 55:35
You can also you have to think you have to be, you have to follow through. Like you're I think your children need to be able to believe that you're there. Like Like, just and I don't know what to call that exactly. But they have to be there has to be some certainty that you're the one. Right? Like, like when the bus is coming and we're all standing on the corner, you are definitely going to throw me out of the way and stand there and face the bus. Like like you you've got to be trusted.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 56:09
reliable, trustworthy, yeah.

Scott Benner 56:13
No matter what that means, honestly, like, like, you know what I mean? Like it doesn't like you don't need to be like the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and be reliable. You can be a ditch digger and be reliable, like just consistent reliability, something that they can hang a hat on, like, say, I know this is gonna happen. Like, there's a lot of people in this thread that are like, you'd be surprised how many people forget their children in places? Or like, you know, never get them anything on time. And then how that actually does affect the kid. Like, if you have an anxious kid, and you're always late. That's gonna make that's gonna make the kid upset. Yeah. And so you kind of have to see. Let me say this, maybe I think I'm going to type as I'm talking. You need to be the parent, your kids need. Not the parent you needed. Or even be the person. You are. Like, sometimes your kids are going to need things you're not to. You still have to find whimsically? Yeah, you have to do those things. It's all on you. Like it really is. It's the worst of all the things nature doesn't do, right. Making penis happiness attached it owning a baby later. That's the worst thing in the world. Like, I understand why it happens and everything but terrible idea. Like, really, you should get a baby at the end of a 20 question. questionnaire questionnaire you take and you gotta get like 95% of it, right? And then maybe a baby pops into the room or something like that. And it's really hard to get them right. It shouldn't be like, Oh, that felt good, baby. I mean, imagine if babies came from eating candy. We'd be knee deep and babies. What does that say about sex? Is candy. Sex? Oh, gosh, oh

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 58:13
my gosh. I think I just want to pause that because as we're listing all these things, you know, I just wonder if you're, as a listener, or you're like feeling just overwhelmed. Like, oh my gosh, I you know, I can't do this. I can't do that. But like, it's also we're creating a list we're not, you know,

Scott Benner 58:34
listen, Eric is going to take this document and put it into real adult words and then that's what we're gonna make the podcast off. Then I'm gonna say silly shit in between Moreover, recording it, don't you worry. It's gonna be fun. I'm not the adult in this situation. Don't like like, really like, it is. You know, I've said this before, but I'm always very interested in watching you think? Because I will say the first thing that comes into my mind and then talk it through. You talk it through in your mind and then say the thing you mean? Like we know you don't just try stop at what you do. I if Eric and I were dating, I would sit across from her at a restaurant and go just blurt it out. We'll figure it out later. She'd be like, I'm almost done formulating my thought. But there's, there's a ton of I mean, obviously, that is that you're well suited for what you do for a living, obviously. You know, and because you're very welcome, though, the way I chatted through the spot where that could be a problem for somebody is because if you hear something I say that you like that makes your brain light up. And I haven't gotten to the point yet. You could really just go Oh, yeah, that guy said that. I'd be like that's not what I said. You didn't hear the seven words while I was still working it out. Eric has just been To say what she means and you can count on it that's that's why you're here because otherwise it just be me talking in circles and then at the end God oh my God does it mean that

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:11
but you lay on you lay on the plane you do

Scott Benner 1:00:14
fun while we're listening to it on the podcast, but like it needs a little bit of both. I have to say that we there was the rebellion episode we did. When at the end, I said, life's a crock pot and our potatoes aren't cooked yet. Oh, yes. And I looked at your face. You were like, Oh my God. That's exactly right. He's like, lovely look on your face. And I felt so good. I was like I did good.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:43
validated. Oh, I bought Yes. That was a good comment.

Scott Benner 1:00:48
I was like I did God. I felt good. I was like, yeah. Okay, so I mean, as we, I mean, we were throw it here. Like, there's a ton of stuff to consider, you are going to like for the lovely people put a list together, I'm going to send you links, the things that people said. And we'll we'll put some of those things together in conversations. But I think mostly this is you for a professional perspective. And as a parent, and me from my perspective, and what I don't know, even people know about you, like you have younger children

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:01:21
do. So have a four though I have a five year old, she just turned five girl and a eight and a half year old girls,

Scott Benner 1:01:31
my kids are 23 and 19. So and but you and I are similarly aged.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:01:36
But I'm old daughter? Yes. I am 45. I'm 45. Yes,

Scott Benner 1:01:44
you were like I'm not 50 to make sure they knew that. But But seriously, like it's two different perspectives. With your professionalism mixed in, I think this is a great idea. Because my idea for this is, is that nobody launches into life at the exact right time. And the exact right time would be different for every person, that time would change once you couple up with another person, like maybe you would be a perfect mom at 32. But I'd be a perfect Dad, I don't know 25. But we don't meet like that. So you know, everyone's gonna get thrown into it. Where the happy penis feeling puts them. And then, and then the baby comes out. And then immediately, I'm going to just tell you, your fear, and your your, your desire to do a good job and your fear or the overwhelming factors in the beginning, when the baby's born, you're like, I don't want to screw this up. And I don't think I can do this are probably what swirling around in your head. Even though I don't think the words come out like that from your mouth, you just have maybe a dose of love, oh, my God, that's probably a lot of that involves happiness and all that other stuff, because you're not exhausted yet. So you can still be happy. But like all that feeling is there. And then it happens, then it's a I mean, then it's a drop of water rolling down a hill, and it makes turns and gets absorbed and then gets rehydrated and then runs into a stick and gets diverted and you don't get to sit around and philosophize every time one of those things happens. So there's got to be a simple bag of tricks that you're honestly, Eric, I think the cats out of the bag. This is how I think about diabetes to write like a small tool bag that you don't have to think about. You just your hand goes in and you're holding it, you don't even know how it happened. You're like, I know what to do here. This is a Pre-Bolus. You know, I know what to do here. I need a Temp Basal here. I'm gonna pray I'm gonna Bolus for the fat here. If you have to think about those things, then they don't happen. But if there are things you understand, and things that have been kind of put into your head through storytelling, and podcasts and things like that, then when you need them, they're there. And because I can tell you or Erica can tell you all she wants not to do a thing in a situation. But the reason that's the thing people tell you not to do is because that's the human reaction in that situation. It's what people are going to do. And if you have to consciously not do it, you're probably going to fail at it. You need to it just needs to happen. So I'm hoping that that does this for people hope it helps them with their kids. And then I hope it helps them with their diabetes too, because I'm going to all finish up here and then I want to hear what you have to say. I think after talking to so many people who are adults who have been children with diabetes, that parent things more important with diabetes than even it may be in a regular situation, because there are a lot of extra things that can go wrong. And those things can lead to real bad health problems, not just you, you know, not liking blonde ladies or something like that. So, you know, which is how I would feel if my blonde mom was yelling at me a lot. Anyway like that, that I think is just anyway, that's what I say for this the bigger picture of it.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:05:11
No, I appreciate that. Because I was thinking, Did we explain why we were kind of taking a bigger, broader view around parenting? And so the hope is that if we can address some of these common themes, that that would ultimately help the parent child dynamic in your in the diabetes management piece, because sometimes we kind of narrow in on like, just tell them to Pre-Bolus Tell them to not eat data. But we're not looking at the bigger picture of like, well, why is that? Why is that dynamic occurring? So the hope is that the parenting picture would help the diabetes management,

Scott Benner 1:05:48
I read an interview that just went up, where this woman describes how she was diagnosed as a teen. And just it was long time ago, before management was very good. And they just didn't want to be bothered with it. So they would do background insulin and Bolus when they got high. And that was it. Like not even for food or anything like that. And she's on the show to talk about the fact that she's lost her sight. Already had a couple of transplants hoping to get another kidney, like that kind of stuff, right? Like really like the worst outcomes that you that you worry about when somebody tells you you have diabetes. And her reasoning, for the things that happened in her life are all very, like, I got every one of everything. She said, I was like I understand this, right. But all I could think while she was talking was Well, that's what you saw. What really happened? Like what got you to make that decision, like what did your parents do? Or not do? Or what did your life experience lead you towards? That when this happened? You made this decision. And to me that's about this like you, like, listen, we're all going to be good parents at times, and we're all going to be bad parents at times. But the difference between your kid having a reaction that just leads them to be I don't know, you know, a dick to a parking attendant. And, you know, not taking care of their blood sugar. There's a big difference between those two things. And I don't imagine that anybody has the time or the or the knowledge about diabetes or parenting while they're in it, to conceive of those issues, and find a way around them. So my idea is stop the problem before it starts. So that you're not just the person that 60 years old sitting around going, I should not have done that. And now this is what happened from it. And then you just sit there looking back feeling bad the whole time. So I actually think this will be a fun conversation that will lead to some value for people. So anyway, I appreciate you doing it with me.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:07:57
Yes, thank you.

Scott Benner 1:08:00
Thank you. Alright, I will see you next time.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:08:03
See you next time.

Scott Benner 1:08:16
Erica Forsythe is a therapist for families with diabetes. Check her out at Erica forsythe.com. Erica offers help for caregivers and families therapy for tweens, teens and adults and so much more. Erica forsythe.com I want to thank us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check and start getting your supplies the same way we do from us med

you're gonna get a new episode of this series once every week until it is completed. Today of course was the intro episode. I think I called brainstorm parenting episode parenting episode. How am I going to do this? All right, you're gonna get to figure this out with me. I guess we'll brainstorm the rest of this. I need to need titles. Like I have like, like the next episode is going to be called Understanding parenting styles pisode after that building positive communication. I'll tell you the next few in a moment, but I need a preface like you know how it's like diabetes pro tip colon Pre-Bolus I need a blah blah blah colon for this parenting. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's just parenting colon. This one's brainstorm. Intro intro brainstorm something like that. The next one understanding parenting styles parenting, understanding parenting styles. Parenting, building positive communication. Yeah, maybe that works right. Let me keep trying that with you. Parenting self care and personal growth for parents parenting creating boundaries and expectations, right? Parenting, avoiding unintended consequences of inconsistent discipline over involve parenting, how in the hell am I going to make that a title that I'm gonna have to slow down? That one would be parenting unintended consequences of inconsistent discipline and over involved parenting. I'll call that one inconsistent and over involved. Okay, I can do this, by the way, there's more episodes and just these five that I've mentioned here, but this is how it's gonna go. And you know, you'll listen or you won't, you'll decide what you think. I hope you love it. I'm super excited. And like I mentioned at the beginning, and I think that parenting in general and ideas, things that we don't talk about or think about sometimes they impact how we do things, we could always maybe make better decisions. I know I can. And I think that extends to diabetes. So whether you find that Eric and I are specifically talking about diabetes in the moment or not, I think the information and the conversations will help you in both walks of your life. I hope you enjoy it. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Thanks so much for listening.

#1048 Flight Risk

Heather has child with type 1 diabetes and a few stories.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1048 of the Juicebox Podcast

I'm laughing a little because Rob is now doing the editing for the show and he takes notes. It's not important he leaves me notes about the episodes so I can remember what they're about while I'm recording these opens. The episodes here are his notes are just hilarious right here for this episode. Apparently I'm supposed to call it flight risk. This is Heather. She's 32. Her 11 year old son was diagnosed with type one in January of 2022. He had to be life flighted to a hospital. And we ended up talking about that. And her time in the military. Oh gosh, a horrible thing that happened to her when she gave birth to her second child. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. I think it's worth mentioning that I the file name for this is the person's name and I put the word butthole in parentheses, so I don't remember why I did that. But let's go

this episode of the juice. Oh, you know what? I don't know who the hell this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by homeless second I gotta open up a document here. That was embarrassing. I guess it doesn't need to be embarrassing. I could just take it out. But I think we all know I'm not going to do that. So looks like Omni pod episode 1048. And no. Are you did that? Did that one? Oh, what's tomorrow's date? Is this fun for you guys hearing how the podcast gets made because it's bore the hell out of me. October right. Yeah, don't oh, he wanted and yet, we just did that one. Okay, this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and Omni pod five. Learn more and get started today at Omni pod.com/juicebox. That's Omni pod.com/juicebox podcast is also sponsored today. By touched by type one touched by type one.org. Also find them on Facebook and Instagram. They're huge. Oh, their big event is coming up dancing for diabetes. I think there's still tickets available. If you're in the Orlando area. You do not want to miss it touched by type one.org. Alright guys, podcast here comes.

Heather 2:59
I am Heather. I am in Central Washington. My now 11 year old was diagnosed with type one last January. So we're just over a year in. I guess we can start with that son,

Scott Benner 3:16
daughter. Son, son. Yes. Was there any reason to think someone in the family was going to get an autoimmune issue?

Unknown Speaker 3:25
Absolutely not.

Scott Benner 3:27
Okay. So no one in the family has celiac or thyroid?

Unknown Speaker 3:32
We're aware of?

Scott Benner 3:33
Nothing. Nobody talks about?

Speaker 2 3:35
No. And we don't really see family a lot. They're all in North Carolina, where we're originally from.

Scott Benner 3:41
Is Is that why you're on their side of the of the century?

Speaker 2 3:46
Yes. Yes, it sure is. Oh, we gotta go. Well, yeah. Yeah, we first moved to Chicago or Northern Chicago. And we were there for 10 years. And we were like, we're not far away enough. So let's keep going.

Scott Benner 4:09
Chicago was too close. But what did they do take a train, but I happen to

Speaker 2 4:14
know they never even visited but it was still too close. Too close.

Scott Benner 4:17
That's excellent. All right. Okay, so no reason to think that there's going to be type one. What was the what was the onset? Like?

Speaker 2 4:26
Oh, gosh. So we just moved to central Washington. What years are now 23 So 2021 in July. And then I would say things started to get noticeably bad. At the beginning of January of 2022. And he was starting to get lethargic. He and it progressively got To where he had a failure to thrive, he wasn't getting up. He was laying down he had no desire to do anything. He was hungry but wasn't hungry. He was thirsty all the time. I didn't realize he was peeing all the time, because well, he's a 10 year old boy at the time. And like, I don't watch them use the bathroom. We were homeschooling. So he wasn't at school. And he was lazing around all day. And then it was like a battle. Remember, one afternoon, we got a text from a contractor that was doing some work that our house saying that they had been exposed to COVID. And they get tested positive, and he had been at our house. And we were like, Okay, well, maybe all of this is COVID. Of course, that seems silly. looking back in hindsight, but

Scott Benner 5:51
COVID doesn't make up, does it? It doesn't doesn't at

Speaker 2 5:55
all. But we didn't I didn't know about type one diabetes. I've only worked with people with type two. And I've never known anyone with type one that I'm aware of.

Scott Benner 6:07
Okay, what do you what do you mean, you work? You work with people with type two, how, where did you do that?

Speaker 2 6:12
I worked at a nursing home for about five and a half years. And I had several patients that I worked with with type two. Gotcha. But they had had it for years. And I just was the CNA that helped them like I didn't do their care plans or their treatments or anything like that. So I just didn't have the background knowledge of type one diabetes. tested negative for COVID. And then the next day, like, actually, I'm terrible at storytelling, and you're really good at it. So perfect. No just made me nervous.

Scott Benner 6:51
You feel like you feel like I'm judging you for how you're telling your story.

Speaker 2 6:55
No, I don't feel like you're judging me at all. I feel like I'm judging myself.

Scott Benner 6:59
Oh, don't do that. You're doing because I want to remember all of the pieces, just say the parts that come to you. I'll pick through the rest. So

Speaker 2 7:07
like the week prior, I noticed, like shortness of breath going up the stairs. I noticed, like a few days going into it like his neck was like pulling in with his breath. He was losing weight, but I just chalked it up to he's getting taller. But thinner is really active. You know, the things that we all do,

Scott Benner 7:33
even though you've never once seen another human being grown that grow that way.

Speaker 2 7:38
Well, I've never really seen a lot of kids I because you live in the word not? Well, because I just don't hang around a lot of kids. I don't know that I really like kids. No offense to everyone listening. By the way. I love my kids.

Scott Benner 7:52
You made that very clear. When you made sure to let us all know that you don't watch your kid pay. You were like, it's not like I watched them pay. I was like, Thank God she cleared that up. That I thought Oh God, should I start asking people that are watching children use the bathroom because maybe we can identify a lot of creepers that way you don't I mean,

Speaker 2 8:14
right? I met him and his brother have their own floor of the house and they have their own bathroom. And I just don't know when he's using the bathroom. Okay, so there's that. But I could just see the weakness happening. And then the next morning, he like collapses and the bathroom because he couldn't hold himself up anymore. And so it's snowing outside, we're in the hills. And I was like, we're gonna go to urgent care. But now we're gonna go to the emergency room. So I had my husband carry him down the stairs that were slippery. Put him in the truck. And I drove to the emergency room and on my way I called the hospital. And I was like, hey, like my son's in a lot of pain. He's almost unconscious. I'm bringing him in. And I need someone to meet me at the door with a wheelchair because I don't know that I can carry a dead weight of 80 pounds.

Scott Benner 9:17
Well, you're like one of those TV shows where they call from the rig and they're like, we're coming in and then you gave like, yeah, like this stuff. That's nice. Do you do I get that but do you know how old I am?

Speaker 2 9:27
I think you're about 50 Yeah, the

Scott Benner 9:30
answer is I'm so old. That the TV show that I pictured when I when I when I just had that thought. It's so old. I have to look it up because I don't remember what it is. And it was just when television color was looking good. All right, hold on, right. It was How old are you?

Unknown Speaker 9:54
I am 32

Scott Benner 9:56
You have no idea what I'm even thinking of then

Speaker 2 10:00
Hold on, I have to make sure what we're in 2023 Yeah, I'm 32 I'll be 33 this year.

Scott Benner 10:05
Yeah, I'm thinking of a show from the late 70s called emergency.

Speaker 2 10:10
Oh, I've seen that have you? And the only shows that I'll watch on TV are like medical shows, but I can't get into that one that you and your daughter love,

Scott Benner 10:21
Grey's Anatomy. My daughter Arden began wearing the Omnipod tubeless insulin pump on February 4 2009. That was 5093 days ago. Or another way to think of it 1697 pods ago. At that time, she was four years old. Hang out with me for a moment while I tell you more about the Omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Today Arden is 18 and still wearing Omni pod back then there was one choice just one pot, but today you have a decision to make. Do you want the Omni pod five, the first and only tubeless automated insulin delivery system to integrate with the Dexcom G six, because if you do, it's available right now for people with type one diabetes ages two years and older. The Omni pod five is an algorithm based pump that features smart adjust technology. That means that the Omni pod five is adjusting insulin delivery based on your customized target glucose that's helping you to protect against high and low blood sugars, both day and night. Automatically. Both the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash are waterproof, you can wear them while you're playing sports swimming in the shower, the bathtub, anywhere really. That kind of freedom. Coupled with tubeless a tubeless pump, you understand it's not connected to anything. The controller is not connected to the pod, the pod is not connected to anything, you're wearing it on the body tube loosely, no tubing to get caught on doorknobs or anywhere else that tubing with those other insulin pumps can get caught Omni pod.com forward slash juice box that's where you go to find out more, you may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash, you should check that out too. When you get to my link, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. So if you're looking for an insulin pump that is tubeless waterproof, and automated. You're looking for the Omni pod five. If you want to do it on your own, and you're not looking for the automation, Omni pod dash for full safety risk information and free trial Terms and Conditions. Please also visit omnipod.com forward slash juicebox.

Unknown Speaker 12:42
Yeah, I can't get into it.

Scott Benner 12:44
I say something about Grey's Anatomy. I stopped watching for it. I stopped watching. They took an entire season to stand on the beach and bring back old characters as ghosts and I was like, Alright, that's enough. You crossed my line. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. what it felt like was that the star wanted a year at the beach. That's what it felt like to me. They were they were like don't leave the show. What if we put you up in a beautiful beach house. And we did all the shooting on the beach. And she went alright, I'll do that. That's how it felt to me. Anyway, I'm done. rampart was the hospital name and emergency in the late 70s that I can actually remember from being a child watching that show. Not not the point in my mind. There's a guy with dark hair on like an old CB radio looking thing explaining the symptoms of your son as you're going to the hospital. That's how I see your story.

Speaker 2 13:36
Yeah, his he was having like stomach pains. I could see him gasping for breath. And it was it was really scary. I've never seen anything like it. I would like to not ever see anything like it again. And I 10 out of 10 don't recommend it for anyone. Yeah,

Scott Benner 13:57
your explanation of his neck heaving scared me.

Speaker 2 14:01
Oh, it scared me. Yeah. And it happened like overnight, like I could see it a little bit. But it wasn't that bad. He had had his COVID vaccine. So I was like, I mean, if it's COVID like they're not going to do anything for him. And then his shortness of breath, like kept increasing. And I was like, I kind of take them to the hospital. Yeah, no,

Scott Benner 14:21
I mean, good job walked into

Speaker 2 14:23
the hospital or I mean, I guess good job. He had a 12.9 a one C and the doctors were like, he's about 24 hours from a coma. Like Good job.

Scott Benner 14:35
Well, at least that Yeah, we didn't get there. Before that. I kept. I kept firing at Arden. I was like, Gee, she's really skinny ish, lethargic. She's sleeping all the time. But then she eats like crazy. But then she's a zombie. Yeah. And I was like she must be must be sick. Sick. I had a kid already. It kid was like five years old. I had been sick a number of times. It did never look like that and still Right, we were just sort of like, Yeah, she'll probably get over this. She'll probably get her. Yeah, right. I don't even know that you think about it that deeply. I think what the real truth is, I hate to say it like this, you're the real truth is that we have no expectation of children dying. Like, that's how good medical, that's how good medicine is now, because if it's a few 100 years ago, you were making five babies hoping to keep two of them. You know, so like, but nowadays, like we don't we have no expectation of something like the following a child. And so right. When it starts happening, you think, Oh, this will go away? Because that's what's happens. Right, but not your situation. Okay. You were in the hospital now. Did they meet you with a chair?

Speaker 2 15:40
Oh, they met me with a chair. And apparently they immediately smelt the what is it that sweet smell or whatever the smell is on his breath, and they took him back? Almost instantly. They took him back and I was still trying to register at the front desk.

Scott Benner 15:58
Yeah. Wow. So they knew right away? Yeah,

Speaker 2 16:02
I don't have a sense of smell. I haven't since I was 1718 years old when I worked in the nursing home. That place smelled bad.

Scott Benner 16:08
You don't have any sense of smell. It is coming

Speaker 2 16:12
back finally. Real but it's been 15 years. Yeah.

Scott Benner 16:16
All that because the PP you were like, well, I don't want to smell this anymore. You think your brain shut it off? Yeah, I

Speaker 2 16:21
don't think it was the pee pee part of it. I think it was the they were patients with C diff, which is an infection in your bowel. And it smells horrendous. I started when I was 17. And my body was like, the new count me out.

Scott Benner 16:39
Talk to you out of being able to smell. That seems not like a technical description, but it's very interesting. So you couldn't smell his breath one way or the other.

Speaker 2 16:47
I smelled it one time, but I didn't know what I was smelling. Because I've never smelled it before. And I never smelled it again after that.

Scott Benner 16:53
Yeah, kinda like sweet or metallicky or something like that. I think yeah, I

Unknown Speaker 16:58
think it's I don't remember.

Scott Benner 16:59
I think it's the ketones are smelling. Yeah. Yeah, probably. So what happened? I mean, he's that close. Does he go right in the ICU? Do you get to see them? Like, is it COVID time.

Speaker 2 17:12
So it is COVID time. But the problem is, is we're in Central Washington. So we have one hospital in our county, I think, or at least local to us. And they do not have any not one single pediatric specialist here in town. So they were able to know enough to get a slow insulin drip in him. And then they called Seattle Children's and I'm sure other facilities to try to get him into there. And we ended up being life flighted to Seattle Children's. And that was quite traumatizing. But they did let me in the room. They came in and told me that he had type one diabetes, I ran all of his tests and all of this and I just like fell to the ground crying. My husband was at home with my youngest son. So I was there by myself. And we only have one vehicle, because we've just been a one vehicle family because both my husband and I worked from home and we don't need a second vehicle. And I was like, how are they going to drive to Seattle when the vehicles here at the hospital? We don't have family here. We just moved. We don't know a lot of people. There was so many logistics, and it was quite stressful. We figured it out, though.

Scott Benner 18:32
Yeah. A very overwhelming life. Like they put him in. They put him in a helicopter.

Speaker 2 18:37
Yeah, they put us on an ambulance took us to the airport and put them in a helicopter at the airport and flew us over the mountains to Seattle.

Scott Benner 18:48
Wow. Did they stabilize him at all before they did that?

Speaker 2 18:52
He was in and out of consciousness and on the entire helicopter ride.

Scott Benner 18:56
Did he have any insulin for the ride?

Speaker 2 18:59
They did have a drip going in. But I don't know how much it was interesting. But he was in and out of consciousness for probably the first 24 to 36 hours.

Scott Benner 19:10
Wow. Wow. Yes. Crazy. Did he have any deficits afterwards?

Speaker 2 19:14
No, not that we have. Not that we found? No. All of his organs seem to be working like they are supposed to be.

Scott Benner 19:24
Well, that's super lucky. That's I mean, yeah. Did you know why in hindsight that they move him did they feel like they couldn't help him there?

Speaker 2 19:32
Oh, they could not help him. They're not at all like they would not admit him because they don't have pediatric specialist here. Like there's not a pediatric endocrinology in my town. I have to drive three hours to get there.

Scott Benner 19:44
Over a mountain. Well, we fired them. That's a whole nother story. Find out they pulled them out mountain people are drawn to.

Speaker 2 19:51
Yeah, and then now we go the opposite direction to Spokane. Yeah,

Scott Benner 19:55
okay, tell me a little I've two things before I want to move on. So tell me why you stopped I've seen the initial doctors,

Speaker 2 20:01
we saw them 30 days post diagnosis. And they were like, we have this technology, we have this technology. And we wait six months to get on this. And mind you, I've already started listening to the podcast at this point. So I was already, like, a few weeks into listening. And I was like, I don't know how I feel about that. But I'll humor you. And we'll see what happens. And we get the Dexcom. After some, it felt like fighting with the facility. And I was like, Alright, so my son is starting to develop disordered eating habits, like he's choosing not to eat because he doesn't want insulin injections. And I'm not having that, because I'm not going to have my 10 year old starting with disordered eating habits. And we want to pump and they were like, oh, we can't do that. And I was like, oh, no, we can I want to pop. And they were like, You can't do that until six months, we need to prove whatever it was like, No, you don't. We want to pump I need you to send in the prescription. Because if you say it's gonna take six months, then we need to start now because I'm already gonna have to fight with insurance. Yeah. And on the six month mark, if that's what you're saying, I want to put a pump on his arm. And they were like, No. And I was like, yes. Do it.

Scott Benner 21:23
And instead of having the fight, you went somewhere else?

Speaker 2 21:26
Well, no, they finally put the prescription in. Okay. And then they thought that because insurance denied it that we were just gonna let it go. And I was like, Absolutely not. So I paid for the first month out of pocket and they were pissed.

Scott Benner 21:39
Oh, so you showed up, like right away with the pump? Because you were like, just said, You didn't go back? No, because you were just like, send send in the script. And you know, six months from now we'll get our pump. But as soon as the script hit, you made it happen. 100% I wasn't playing like I'm with them. Yeah. And you went to a pump for cash until you could get it worked out with your insurance.

Speaker 2 21:57
Correct. And the insurance wanted a medical necessity letter and the doctor wouldn't give it until we went back for our six month appointment. So I fired them, called a different doctor. Let them know what we needed. And they're like, Oh, I'll write you a letter right now. Yeah, so they sent out a letter. And like, the next month it was covered, and it was no big deal.

Scott Benner 22:17
I'm gonna talk about this in a minute. But first, I want to tell you something. I guess I'm gonna start by asking you a question. How does? How does food taste to you? This is gonna seem like such a left turn. But how does it? How does food tastes do? Do you have like a strong feeling for how food tastes or not really?

Speaker 2 22:33
I don't? I think it's a really good question. It's something I've thought about a lot. Well, let me tell you something. I don't know if I taste food the same way everyone else does.

Scott Benner 22:42
Whether you should google it. If you smell okay, ready? Here it is tasting tasting is actually smelling. I know it is commonly thought that the flavor of food is experienced by the taste buds on the tongue. In fact, the mouth distinguishes only rudimentary information on sweetness, saltiness, sourness and bitterness. odour molecules from food. I guess that's odor, am I gonna? Yeah, I'm just like, I'm on an Australian website. Like why is that spelled wrong? odor molecules from food, rise to the olfactory epithelium, and supplement the information from the tongue with a much more sophisticated with much more sophisticated data. That's why food tastes bland when you have a head cold. Oh, no kidding. The olfactory epithelium is clogged with mucus and can't function properly. Better. health.vic.gov.

Speaker 2 23:33
I told several doctors this and none of them seem to be concerned.

Scott Benner 23:38
Hmm. Okay. And then that thought leads me into this thought which I'm going to wrap back around to what you were saying because Alright, so my kids have like, flown the coop. You know what I mean? Like Arden's gonna have to keep coming back when in college breaks, but Cole left, he's got a job. It's going well, I'm pretty sure we're never gonna see him again. And and, and that's not sure we're actually gonna go visit him in a week. But that but and Arden's a college, right. And she has long, her college is set up for it. Interestingly, she gets a very long break at the holidays. But then when she heads back, she just got another break for like six months. It's they do it in quarters. And anyway, not the point. Point is, I don't have anybody here to worry about and Kelly doesn't seem to like it when I worry about her. So after 51 years, and I mean this like sincerely not maybe every one of my 51 years, but you know, my parents had trouble being parents. So I parented my brothers and my parents that sometimes. And then my father left, and I was literally raised my brothers from the time I was 13. My middle brother was eight, my youngest brother was three, like my mom got up every morning and went to a job and didn't come back till five or six o'clock. So like, yeah, you know, I raised them as well as a 13 year old maybe could raise two kids Then I met my wife, she had some issues with her family, we got through those than we had kids. And then there was like two years narrow us, like, look at how great and then boom, diabetes. I really think there were like two good years in my life, I think around 2000 2001. And then, of course, the World Trade thing happened in the middle of my good time, so not particularly good. And anyway, and then I've been paying attention to Arden's health, and then learning more about Kelly's health, and then my sons, and you know what I forgot to do, Heather, take care of your health, I did forget to take care of myself. Yeah, I didn't pay any attention to myself. So there's like a decade in the middle of my life where my iron was low, where I just suffered. I just suffered through it. And it was terrible, right? So I figured that out. And then I'm like, okay, that's fine. Like, this is probably it, you know, but they laughed, and I was like, Ah, I really, like I spent so much time like, I don't know, playing Doctor House, and being like, you know, what I think this means, you know, I think this could be that, like, I mean, the way I figured out Cole's Hashimotos is insane. I found a symptom buried in an NIH article, like a symptom that never happens to anybody. And I was like, that's this, and then boom, thyroid medication is okay. So I thought, let me turn this on myself a little. And I made an appointment with Dr. Benito, Who's the doctor who's come on and talked about thyroid stuff here. And his Ardennes, integrative endocrinologist handles Ardens thyroid and actually is going to start handling Ardens diabetes as an adult. And does my kids thyroid and my wife's and all this stuff, right? So I sat down, and I made this comprehensive list of everything that's been wrong with me my whole life. Because I was like, let me see if there's overlap between what I see with the kids, right, because maybe we have things obviously going on similar. I make this comprehensive list and make an appointment. I go into Dr. Medina, his office on Saturday, and she's like, tell me, you know, she's like, you're here because and I said, I just, I have some things going on. I'm living with them. Okay. But I look at my body. And I think it's not functioning properly. Like it's, it's just not like, Heather, I don't eat very much food. I weigh more than I should. I, you know, I'm Yeah. When I was active, this is what my body looked like, when the podcast got really popular. And I just sit here in this chair, most of the day, it didn't change. This is what I look like. Like it just it's always this level of like, I mean, I guess it's alright, like that kind of thing. And so we went through everything. And here's why you want to get a good doctor, Dr. BENITO heard my concerns, and said, Here, go get a blood draw. This is what I'm going to test for. She tested for thyroid, even though I don't have any thyroid system symptoms. She's testing for low testosterone. She's testing for like, everything my iron, like things that you would like things that I was like, Why do you test for this? She goes, it supports this here. I'm like, okay, whatever, just go for it. And I And she's like, if you want you can try an injectable to like, lose some weight with too. And I was like, really? And she was sure why not? I was like, yeah, why not? Like, why am I wasting my life trying to find this perfect avenue to fix something? Like why not? Like you don't have that I don't drink I don't smoke. I don't get high. Like I? Why not? Why not inject something once a week to see if it helps me lose weight? Or see if my metabolism? Who the hell knows. But why am I just okay with this? I don't know. Well, the reason is, is that every doctor I've ever gone to in the past looks at me and goes, you're right. Yeah, it's convenient. I agree with them. Right? But I wouldn't if it was my kid. I'd be like, no, no, you're wrong. Keep looking. What? It's me. It's me. I'm like, yeah, he's probably okay. I mean, I get up in the morning. So anyway, I don't know what's about to happen to me. My blood test is literally just out now. But this this lady is going to aggressively address anything that she sees. And and I think, you know, coming when it comes to diabetes, like that's what you need, you know, anyway, yeah,

Speaker 2 29:29
I will say that last year, I was fighting with my own doctors for my own health. Because visibly, I am a thin, healthy abled body that doesn't have any issues. Well, they were wrong. They were very wrong. I fought them for like six months. I'm a veteran. So I go to the VA. That's just a pain in itself. In my current clinic because I'm at a satellite clinic, because we're so far away from civilization. But it took four to six months for them to finally draw full panels. Like I was asking, I was like, something's wrong in my thyroid. Something's wrong with this. Why am I doing the work for you? They finally drew and they're like, oh, no, your ferritin levels are low. And I was like, Oh, I feel like Scott. My ferritin was down to 5.2. The day I had my first iron infusion.

Scott Benner 30:30
Wow, how are you even walking? That's crazy.

Speaker 2 30:33
I wasn't. I wasn't walking. I was in bed. I would say 18 hours a day. Because my brain wasn't functioning. My body wasn't functioning. Sure. And I was like, something is wrong with me. No, you're fine. No, I'm not that they

Scott Benner 30:51
tried to tell you what they did. They try to give you the like, the like the old like, you're just, you know, sad, or you need to exercise or eat that they hit you with all that bullshit?

Speaker 2 31:01
Oh, yeah, of course. But I'm a personal trainer and a nutrition coach. Like, I know, I need to work out I know how to eat. I'm good. But I can't do it. Because I don't have the energy.

Scott Benner 31:10
Right? That's interesting. I can't get out of

Unknown Speaker 31:13
the bed.

Scott Benner 31:14
How many it was? How many? How many infusions? What did they give you? They give you injector for to give you the other one?

Speaker 2 31:21
I had to have injector for before? Thanksgiving last year? Okay. How long like a new person?

Scott Benner 31:29
Yeah. Would it take a couple months for you to feel better? Yeah, I would say probably the

Speaker 2 31:33
beginning of this year, middle of January, I really started to

Scott Benner 31:38
feel good. Here's the fun question. Did you have a heavy period before this?

Speaker 2 31:42
No, I have endometriosis. So I actually use a birth control that stops my period, so that I don't have period issues, and issues with endometriosis. So I don't even have a period.

Scott Benner 32:00
You don't have a period. So new. All right. I'm going to say something. All right, Dr. House, I want to give it to me, I want everybody to keep in mind that I'm borderlining on an idiot, I almost didn't graduate from high school, etc, etc, and so on and so forth. But you know, how they say like, Oh, that 10 years ago, it was the data is telling us that people with type one diabetes are frequently low on vitamin D. And now in the last couple of years, the data is like, you know, basically the population is low on vitamin D. And, okay, endometriosis isn't an autoimmune disease. But isn't it interesting that you can't keep your iron up? Yeah. How? How? And isn't it interesting that you can't keep your iron up and your kid has type one diabetes, and I can't keep my iron up? And my kid has type one diabetes?

Unknown Speaker 32:58
Maybe it's just a coincidence.

Scott Benner 33:01
Maybe it is. But why is it we're hearing so much about people on the podcast whose iron is super low, and they're walking around like zombies, and nobody wants to do anything for them. And then it's up to the person to fight to get this test. I'm telling you, a ferritin level should be part of should just be part of your blood draw when you get a blood draw every year. And if you're, if you're not getting your blood work done, and you have insurance, what are you doing? Just let them do it. You know? And then you look Oh, I

Unknown Speaker 33:30
do it annually? Yeah, of course.

Scott Benner 33:33
So your first and was five you beat me? I think my lowest was 11.

Speaker 2 33:39
I don't want to compete with that one. No, I don't want anyone to have that nonsense.

Scott Benner 33:44
Horrible brain fog, right.

Speaker 2 33:48
I was in school. What I was trying to do school, I had three classes I was in and I'm just trying to function and live my life. And I thought I was dying.

Scott Benner 33:57
And you have two kids. One of them has diabetes. You have to climb over a mountain to buy a gallon of milk.

Speaker 2 34:01
Yes, yeah. You should get a cow. Yeah. I would if my homeowner's association didn't say that. We can't have livestock.

Scott Benner 34:11
You haven't heard it yet on the podcast, but I there was about a week where I got like, enraptured with the idea of raising chickens. And one person was like, why don't you get a cow too? And I was like, what? I can't do that. What would I do with it? Well, I

Speaker 2 34:25
also want to get I think it's goats that they say they help clear the sagebrush off the side of the mountain that we live on. They help keep it like clean and safe from potential fires. Yeah, I want to get a goat. They won't let you know I can't have livestock. We have a perfect place for chickens and we can't have livestock.

Scott Benner 34:44
What if a couple of goats just got loose?

Speaker 2 34:47
I know, right? I've considered it. I'm just saying I've considered it. Old Man dog, Nick. It just sucks. So the President is right next door to our house.

Scott Benner 34:56
Yeah. Let me the goats out.

Speaker 2 34:58
I don't know old man. Dog pays a lot of attention to a lot of things that goes into the neighborhood and I just don't like it.

Scott Benner 35:04
Gotcha. Well, maybe his iron will get low and he won't be able to stand up and look out the window. Like really like, be life altering getting the the infusion, right.

Speaker 2 35:16
Oh 100% The like I'm back, obviously in school again this semester. And my ability is like a hundredfold different than it was last semester. I can focus I can concentrate i Life is just better. I was having shortness of breath. I was having chest pains. They sent me to the cardiologist. They did a CT scan. They did stress tests, they did echocardiograms, like they did everything was like, my heart is fine. Yeah, my lungs are fine. That's not the problem. Yeah, but you're having shortness of breath. Yeah, I am. But it's not because of my heart and my lungs.

Scott Benner 35:53
I think what they want to say is, yeah, but you're having shortness of breath. And the three days that we spent on shortness of breath in medical schools tells me to do this. Because we're just trying to stop you from dropping dead right now, we're not actually worried about why your shortness of breath, if it's not because of lung or heart issues, then you should go see a different doctor about that. And

Speaker 2 36:12
that's what I told them. I was like, I know I need to see a different doctor, send me to them. But again, as a veteran, all of the processes have to go through like this referral process. And there's hardly any specialists here in town. So my hematologist is an hour and a half away. Like it's a disaster.

Scott Benner 36:33
Yeah, that's interesting. Are you making any changes to your diet to try to keep your iron up? Or are you afraid your body's just gonna use it up and you'll be back in the same boat again,

Speaker 2 36:43
my diet is no different. I was eating red meat at least once a day prior to, like, I was eating my fair share of iron. And I don't know what was going on. So no, my diet hasn't changed. I've had my what was it three month check. And they said my iron levels were well above normal, they'll recheck again and three more months.

Scott Benner 37:06
Alright, so if, if if Dr. BENITO was here, she would tell you to take vitamin C.

Unknown Speaker 37:12
You know, I have that in my Amazon cart.

Scott Benner 37:16
Well, how long does it take to come over the mountain? Did they drop it from a parachute? Or how does it get over there? I mean, just a mail truck guy in the car. Yeah. It's not as exciting where you live as I'm imagining. Like in my, in my imagination. You live on the Yellowstone ranch.

Unknown Speaker 37:33
I do live in between lots of orchards.

Scott Benner 37:36
Oh, that's lovely. That's very nice. Okay, so get get the vibrancy. And take it. Keep your iron out.

Speaker 2 37:43
Yeah, I do. I actually I lied. I do. I did change a little bit. I do eat a bit more berries because of the vitamin C that they provide with. And I

Scott Benner 37:53
did tell people why you care about vitamin C, because your

Speaker 2 37:57
body absorbs iron better if you take vitamin C,

Scott Benner 38:00
right, exactly. How did you learn this? Um,

Speaker 2 38:05
well, I've been anemic most of my adult life. And the doctor has told me one doctor was halfway useful before I moved.

Scott Benner 38:16
I don't want to be married to you. I don't feel like it would be fun.

Speaker 2 38:20
My husband probably thinks the same. But we're gonna hit 10 years in the fall, so it must not be too bad.

Scott Benner 38:26
Maybe he just likes the beatings. Who knows. You're just like, how did you describe that other doctor? I had another doctor who was halfway useful. Yes. Hard as a married person. I was like, oh, that's how Kelly feels about me. I know for sure.

Speaker 2 38:44
I find my husband to be very useful. He is way more useful than doctors are.

Scott Benner 38:50
Oh my god. Hey, Ida, iron deficiency anemia increases autoimmune disease risk, particularly in female patients and patients with certain comorbidities, clinicians should conduct further clinical evaluations and laboratory tests of autoimmune diseases and patients with IDA great oh, here's a little like, like view into that. I when I wrote everything down to go to the doctor. I told her that about four weeks ago on a comfortable but chilly day. I found myself outside not expecting to stay outside. So I was in a short sleeve shirt and pants of some sort. So my let I'm trying to tell you my legs were covered. My arms weren't I didn't have any thickness on the top. It was the temperature was in the 50s early like low 50s. And I found myself holding a shovel. My neighbor saw me and we started chatting. So now the shovel is at my left side. I'm holding it about midway through the handle. It's kind of balancing its own weight in my hand and we talk for, I don't know 15 or 20 minutes and I go back inside and jump in the shower. And when I get in the shower, I realized my fingers on my left hand or blue, but not where the shovel was. And I'm like, What the hell? So oh, now it's all making sense. I called Kelly, who probably thought I was trying to trick her into getting in the shower with you. But I was like, Look at my hand. And I was like, Is this right? nods? And she's like, No. And I'm like, what? And then I believed her. Meanwhile, she has no background, you know, it was like, All right, yeah. And it warmed up and it went away. And I told Dr. BENITO that story and she goes, maybe Raynaud's, and I said, I don't. That's exactly what I thought. Right? And I said, Well, I don't know when she goes, okay. Okay. And then just she kind of filed it away in her head while she's going. But I have trouble holding on to iron. My kid has type one diabetes, my fingers get over the it's only been like the last 10 years. If I have, I have a lawn mower, I just made that noise. Because I don't know how to explain this. I have a lawn mower where I operate it with my hands up in the air above my heart, and out in front of me. And if I do that, on cold days, my fingers get very cold. And there's some and if I lay on my back and hold my phone up in front of me, my fingers get like weird. Interesting. Yes. So instead of just like hoping I'm not going to die, I'm going to actively try not to. Like that's, that's my new plan. Now that I don't have everyone's everything to worry about all the time. Like, yeah, I've got a few years left for that one. Yeah, I'm doing this. Okay, so let's try to pivot to why you came on the podcast. Why did I come on the podcast? I know. I know. I hold on a second. But but it's by like, 40 minutes in. So it's been a lively conversation. And I forgot to bring up can you say at all for me? At all? Use it in the sense. I didn't like that at all. I didn't like that at all. Earlier in the podcast, everybody has to go back and like the first five or six minutes. You said to tall? You said you were saying at all but it like got caught in your mouth. And you were you were like, I didn't like that. That's all too tall. And I was like, too tall to tall, like, and then I thought is she doing an impression of Schmidt from New Girl? And I say probably not.

Unknown Speaker 42:16
Probably not. You're right.

Scott Benner 42:19
You should watch new girl. But nevertheless, that was interesting. And you kept saying vehicle instead of car truck. Is that colloquial to you're like where you're at? To use the word vehicle?

Speaker 2 42:29
I don't know I we have a truck. But

Scott Benner 42:35
you don't have to go to this other. Nevermind.

Speaker 2 42:37
Yeah, I don't know. I've never I didn't know that. I actually said it that

Scott Benner 42:41
often. You use the word vehicle. So many times. I thought I was in a commercial for the word vehicle.

Unknown Speaker 42:46
Oh, gosh, did I really get on my nerves? She's selling

Scott Benner 42:49
me on this word. I was like, I believe I get the vehicle. I got it. Anyway, you came on the show because you experienced a diabetes fast forward from the podcast. I did. Well, at least I felt that I did. Okay, so tell me if you did, or you didn't know what happened.

Speaker 2 43:06
We were doing really well with the dash. But then school was about to start and they were actually going back to school. And I was like, I want to get him on the five and let it automate and do what it's supposed to do. And I feel like I've had some good success with the five and then at the same time, I want to throw it out the window.

Scott Benner 43:33
Okay. Tomar it, it also

Speaker 2 43:36
doesn't help that he's still honeymooning. And his body decides to work sometimes and decides not to work sometimes like his pancreas. And that's quite annoying, because as you know that there's no like rhyme or reason to when that happens. And when it doesn't. So his pump will finally figure out that it needs to increase how much it's giving in the background. And then his needs will draw and then it'll give too much in the background. And then I'm just like feeding loads all day. Or then it realizes that he doesn't need as much insulin and then by that time, his insulin needs have gone back up again. And it there's just no consistency. I'm frustrated.

Scott Benner 44:17
Are you sure that's a honeymoon is that this is activities like wax the wax and wane or does it stay pretty consistent?

Speaker 2 44:25
It stays very consistent, but I'm fairly certain that it's a honeymoon, because he's 11 and the doctor at our last appointment said that he should generally be using between 30 and 35 units a day. Until the last two or three days he's been using under 25 Okay, between 15 and 25 units a day and most of it is in mealtime and he does not usually need a lot of basil. Okay, well that's like it's percentages are like 20 to 30 percent Basal,

Scott Benner 45:00
right? And because you're saying because the algorithm is trying to figure out needs, and then the needs keep changing that you see highs and lows, because the needs change, and then it goes, Okay, hold on, I'll change back again. And then before you know it, it changes again. Right? Yeah. So you think

Speaker 2 45:21
when I'm in manual mode, I can keep it stable? Because why would you do? I don't do anything. He has a consistent amount of basil every hour, like literally, his needs are the same. Well, I have the pump set where it's the same number for 24 hours, but it is always getting that amount of Basal every hour, like there's no pausing insulin because it thinks that he's not going to go high or low. It's just consistent all day long.

Scott Benner 45:51
What's that Basal rate that you use during manual? Well,

Speaker 2 45:55
a few weeks ago, we went into all mode, and he was using between point three and point four. And then last week, it went back down to point one, five,

Scott Benner 46:05
how much is the why, like,

Unknown Speaker 46:06
85? Maybe?

Scott Benner 46:10
Well, I think you're right, I think there's still a honeymoon happening. That seems like the most reasonable answer to me. But the algorithm is working off of what when you set up the algorithm, what did you tell his basil was? Point 3.4?

Speaker 2 46:25
Yeah, I wanted it to be a little bit higher, because that's what it is. Generally, I guess.

Scott Benner 46:31
Okay, so it's so it's interesting. So are you upset with the algorithm? Are you upset with the honeymoon?

Speaker 2 46:37
I'm definitely not upset with the honeymoon, like, I am annoyed, and would rather it be consistent, but at the same time, like if his body's gonna work, I want it to work as long as it wants to work, or as long as it's going to work. And I can't say that I'm mad at the system, because that's not fair. just frustrating. It is extremely frustrating. Yeah,

Scott Benner 46:58
no, I hear you. I mean, I think that I think this is the time that I would tell you that it sucks. But the variability is not going to stop. diabetes just sort of is this game? You know, right? Yeah. Right. Now it's a honeymoon, in two years, it'll be hormones, right, and it'll be activity. And then it'll be, you know, going to college and sitting up all night and, and eating a meal at two o'clock in the morning. And then, and then it'll be the next thing it's going to be in the next thing, it's going to be like variables are always going to impact insulin and the variables of your life, unless you're going to do you know, unless you're gonna make sure you do exactly the same freakin thing over and over and over again, then this is going to happen. So as soon as the honeymoons over, you should find more stability, I would think, yeah. When you were in manual, and you noticed a decrease in need, did you decrease the Basal than 2.15?

Speaker 2 48:00
Yeah, well, I would decrease it by point 05. Until you and it would work back. And I would figure out that it would need a decrease overnight when I was speeding was

Scott Benner 48:11
would activity mode on the on the pod five? How helped with this when his needs go down? Or setting the target higher? Have you tried either of those?

Speaker 2 48:20
I have set the target higher, and maybe it helps. But I don't want to target higher, like I want him to sit between 90 and 110.

Scott Benner 48:29
So when his needs go down, you set the target higher, he actually is higher than Yeah, gotcha. And you would prefer? Yeah, is that I mean, that's a limitation of it right there. Right. You know, I don't know that that would happen any differently. I was trying to think of other systems. But I don't see that that would happen any differently with other systems, either. Yeah, you know, because no matter what settings or settings, and goals or goals, so if your needs drastically decrease, and I mean, going from point four 2.15 is a drastic decrease in Basal. And so if that happens, like even if this was if this was Arden you were talking about and she was looping, the loop would still think this is her Basal. This is her insulin sensitivity. That's our goal. And as soon as it saw a number, it would correct it. And it would be too much if her needs suddenly dropped down. Like imagine if you're listening like the easiest way to think about it is just imagine that you're, you know, your Basal is one per hour, that's your need. And then suddenly, your Basal need goes to point to an hour, but we don't make any changes. We just keep pushing one one whole unit like you're gonna get crazy low. So that's what's happening to you. Yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 2 49:45
And sometimes we have some pretty number wise they're, they're pretty low, but he's never had a scary low while he did have one before he was on the decks calm. And that was when we were still pretty new. He was wrestling was my husband and, like, tested him. And I think he was in the 20s or 30s. And he was like, I don't feel good. And I was like, I bet you don't.

Scott Benner 50:07
Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. But you know, though, see, here's the interesting thing. It's happening to you, and you're aware of all of it. So while it's not what you want, you're not overwhelmed or confused by it. Is that right?

Speaker 2 50:19
Oh, crap. Yeah, not at all. Okay. I'm frustrated by it. But I'm not confused by it. I am not. Oh, my gosh, why is that happening? Like, it makes sense. I get it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 50:30
So what when you first wrote to me, you were like, you were saying like, I think the podcast is really like, brought my understanding of diabetes, like quickly, like up is that do you still feel that way?

Speaker 2 50:44
Oh, yeah. I mean, honestly, like, so my husband's cousins, whatever family member told us about the podcast, because they had a friend that recommended that. And so I started listening to it like a week after diagnosis. And I don't know where I would be today, if I haven't listened to almost every single one of your podcast, because the amount of value that is provided between the protests and just hearing the stories, and just hearing everyone else's experience, I wouldn't know the different thing that would be so much more fearful of each fall, or each double arrow down or, like, I wouldn't know what to do. And I would freak out. And now I'm like, Well, we're definitely not going to over treat that low. We're going to give you what you need. And then we're going to see what happens. And we're going to wait, and we're going to be patient. Like I know, you might feel a little low right now. But give it some time, and it will turn around.

Scott Benner 51:50
I imagine it helped to when the needs went down, it probably stopped you from just looking at the pump and being like, the thing doesn't work. Because that's, I think that's what happens to people. They just they're like, the thing stopped working. But like, you know, like, no, no thinking past it like that. Just I was using a pump and it worked fine. And suddenly it wasn't working anymore. And by working I mean, my blood sugar's weren't doing what I expected. It must be this thing. Instead of like, I wonder why? Because the because the thing is just doing what you tell it. Whether Yeah, think of it that way or not, is only it's a lot like, like, it's like, you know, people get scared about like autonomy. They're like, I don't want a robot, it's gonna take over the world, and the robots gonna do what the what you tell it to do. It's not going to start having feelings on its own. And when you go home at night, it's not going to reprogram itself. There. It does what you tell it to these pumps do what you tell it to do through settings. And that's it. But it's just the it's a delivery system for settings. And people are like, Oh, well, the algorithms are smart. Okay, yeah. But they're not really smart. They're just using your settings to deliver insulin based on your blood sugar. There's the the next write a manual pump is delivering insulin based on your settings. And your input of how many carbs you ate. That's what it's doing. And an automated system is doing that plus, making adjustments when it sees your blood sugar going up or down. And it doesn't make it smarter just makes it smarter. Yeah. It's not free thinking. We're pretty far from that. But I can't even figure out how to release three goats so that your neighbors say and I don't know how we're supposed to figure it out.

Unknown Speaker 53:42
Neither and I'm not the technology guru.

Scott Benner 53:45
Heather. I'm just so at night you just you just come in at night and then you put a couple of goats on the hill and nobody sees you're done.

Unknown Speaker 53:53
Right and then the neighborhoods to benefit to Yeah, they

Scott Benner 53:55
make baby goats and everything's fine. No, no, no, no,

Unknown Speaker 53:58
we don't we don't need baby goats. Well, how

Scott Benner 54:00
you're gonna need more goats.

Speaker 2 54:03
Yeah, I don't want baby goats. When you don't want more babies of any kind.

Scott Benner 54:08
Other. You don't. You don't like other people's children or baby goats. What happened to you?

Speaker 2 54:15
I think I missed the parental like desire that a lot of women get. Okay. I love my children and I'm so glad that I have them. I cannot have more.

Scott Benner 54:30
Because of your disdain for children.

Speaker 2 54:33
No. Like, my my, my second son did some damage. Oh, he

Scott Benner 54:38
grabbed all the horrible things on the way out. Yeah, he grabbed a hold of

Speaker 2 54:41
several things on the way out. And I had to have my tubes. I had to have a first permanent form of birth control. And I was too young for a hysterectomy. Oh, I'm

Scott Benner 54:52
sorry. So I thought you were saying intellectually you weren't going to have any more children? No.

Speaker 2 54:58
Okay, I don't have my tubes. So I don't have the connector point to be able to have more kids.

Scott Benner 55:04
Wow. They didn't just tie them they removed them. Correct. Was there a some sort of an obstruction or a tear or break?

Speaker 2 55:11
I had a fourth degree tear and ended up basically having a vaginal C section delivery with my son.

Scott Benner 55:19
Okay, that just gave me the shivers down my spine and I don't have an I don't have a vagina. So what is vaginal resection? Did they didn't cut your thing, did they? Well,

Speaker 2 55:28
they didn't. Well, they did try to cut it. And then he was like, Nope, I'm just going to rip it the rest of the way. So I was ripped. I think the word that you'd like to use is taint.

Scott Benner 55:40
I've also heard goop on recently, which I've enjoyed.

Speaker 2 55:42
Yes. So literally, from the back of my vagina all the way down to my rectum and ended up having to have a reconstructive surgery.

Scott Benner 55:54
I'm so sorry. Advice. By sorry. I mean, for me for hearing that, because it was very upsetting. It was very, very upsetting when you said that. I'm getting I'm sweating. My butthole syntax. Oh my god. What's the recovery from that? Like?

Unknown Speaker 56:15
It was not pleasant.

Scott Benner 56:21
So yeah, I mean, even if you hadn't, even if they hadn't taken the tubes, I assume you you're not up for one way or the other after that, right? Oh, yeah, I wouldn't do. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, I'd get my husband and girlfriend. If I was you. I'd be like, listen completely leave me alone. Stay away. Actually, we'll build an extra bedroom where I was gonna put the goats can live there with your Paramore and come in here when you want to talk about family stuff. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you told your son that or do you keep that from him?

Speaker 2 56:59
Oh, no, he 100% knows that he damaged me on his way out. How did you not? I can't have kids because of a big head.

Scott Benner 57:08
Or how did you not say he totally knows that he ripped me a new asshole. How did you not say that I was counting on you right there? Who's counting on you to cover for me? So I wouldn't have to say that. Well, that's insane. Oh my god, I have questions about how you poop after that. I'm sorry. I'm gonna ask them. I thought I wasn't going to but I am. So after the tear happens and they repair everything. How long does it take you to be able to do your business again?

Speaker 2 57:34
Well after so the reconstructive surgery didn't happen for six months.

Scott Benner 57:39
Wait, what? Why? You're making it hard again. How did that happen? Wait, why? Wait, stop, stop, stop. I'm not okay. Hold on. It took them six months to do the reconstruction.

Speaker 2 57:53
They didn't believe me that anything was wrong. Scott, what do you mean, they're doctors?

Scott Benner 57:57
This was not obvious when we examined your undercarriage that there was a problem?

Speaker 2 58:02
No, they sewed me back up just like they would everyone else. But my I'm gonna make you hot, some more. My

Scott Benner 58:11
not in the way I was hoping. But go ahead.

Speaker 2 58:15
My sphincter muscles. Were only at like 50% capacity. So they had to tear them or cut them again and then tried to connect them at a closer point. So that it could have like 75 to add percent working muscles in my anal sphincter.

Scott Benner 58:41
But you said you're good at telling a story that just oh my god, they're just paint a picture in my mind. I know that I don't know anything about anal reconstruction. And I understood what you were talking about. They had to kind of change the grab point for the muscle to make the sphincter close and open properly. Yeah. Yo,

Speaker 2 58:59
incontinent of urine and bowel for about six months before they realized that I was telling truth.

Scott Benner 59:06
Like I don't know how this took a turn out there. But are we talking like shards or like full things just falling out?

Speaker 2 59:14
I would say sharp. Okay. You would say I wasn't showing my pants.

Scott Benner 59:20
Anything that we could name the podcast? Yeah. Wow. So that's all okay, now everything's staying where it's supposed to?

Speaker 2 59:30
Yeah. Um, for now, they told me when I had the surgery, seven years ago now, that five to 10 years post surgery there may have to be an injection of or another surgery to put some sort of a port that sends signals to my sphincter muscles to make it continue working. Because it may just stop working at some point. I don't know. We're just waiting to see what happens. Wow.

Scott Benner 1:00:00
Oh, boy, that kid ever forgets your birthday or Mother's Day? Even one time, I'd be right on the phone. And I would, I would tell him that exact story you just told me, I'd be like, I would be like I was my birthday today and I didn't get a card. And I know you're 43. But I just wanted to tell you the story about when they had to restore the muscles in my sphincter. Get a drink, because it's gonna take me a while because you were really good at describing that other like, Really? Really? I think, I think on a desert island, I could take a shot at that surgery based on what you just said. So. Holy crap, that was terrible. Again, for me, I'm not even thinking about you. Just thinking about myself right now. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. Okay. All right. Hold on. I was gonna you know what I was gonna ask you before we got to this, I was gonna ask you what you were in the military for? That. I was like, I'll just ask this real quick first. I didn't know what was gonna happen. Oh, my God. What were you in the military for?

Speaker 2 1:01:02
No, that was fun. I was. I was an electrician. By trade that never worked an electrician and did paperwork as a human.

Scott Benner 1:01:17
You were in the Navy. I was in the Navy. Okay. And you were you came in as an electrician. And they did not give you that kind of work?

Speaker 2 1:01:26
No. Okay. But that probably is because of I don't know, my reconstructive surgery and all the issues that came with that. Seriously. Yeah, I was medically discharged

Scott Benner 1:01:39
you weight from your but

Speaker 2 1:01:42
kind of that was part of it. I have depression and anxiety. The delivery caused lots of issues in my hips, which caused weakness in my knees, and I fell down the stairs carrying my youngest. Oh my god. So they were like your flight risk? Sounds like

Scott Benner 1:02:02
you're a flight risk, like a flight of stairs risk. Sorry.

Speaker 2 1:02:06
Yes. Yes. And they didn't want me on the waterwell or on a ship falling down the stairs or anything.

Scott Benner 1:02:14
Wow. You know, you mentioned stairs twice earlier in the show. When you were talking about your son's diagnosis, it was apropos of nothing at the moment like it didn't belong in the story. And you made sure to give me the detail that your husband carried your son down the stairs because they were slippery. You know you did that? I did? Yeah. And it's not if you think about that story from like, a third party perspective. Telling this who carried the kid down the stairs is meaningless to the story. Like it was important to you like you inserted it in the story on purpose. That at the time, I actually, I there's a note here in front of me about it, because it struck me is like out of place in the sentence. I was like, I wonder what that's about, but we got to it eventually. Okay. So your tech, by the way, flight risk is now the name of your episode. Finally, we found it. Beautifully found. Okay, so you're discharged honorably? I imagine after how long their medical discharge is?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:14
Just under three years. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:03:17
And, wow. And how's the anxiety been since then?

Speaker 2 1:03:21
Well, I see a therapist every three weeks. That's fine. It's okay. We manage. I intentionally do things that make me anxious to force me to work on my coping skills.

Scott Benner 1:03:36
I just thought of I just thought of a question. So inappropriate, that I'm not gonna ask.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:45
But you asked how I pooped afterwards.

Scott Benner 1:03:47
I know. But this is I found a different level. You just said something. And I thought, so. No doggy style, right. I mean, why not? I don't know. I didn't know if it made you nervous. For the exposure, you know what I mean?

Unknown Speaker 1:04:02
I mean, it's definitely not my ideal.

Scott Benner 1:04:06
Go to my ideal setup. I love how you word things. That's not my ideal set.

I'm so sorry. This got really away from us really quickly. Oh, my God, that's terrific. Okay. All right. So I'll leave you comfortable with me leaving that question in a lot. Okay. All right. I wonder if I

Speaker 2 1:04:34
mean, I literally told you about a reconstructive surgery and being incontinent.

Scott Benner 1:04:40
Yeah. So but that's medical. People don't. People don't like to talk about fun. They just want to talk about medical stuff. It's okay. If we talk about buttholes medically, if I if I made a joke about you know, any number of pie there's like six of them in my head right now that I could make that I wouldn't, that I wouldn't make. But then people be like, Oh, See what happens? Everything sexual?

Unknown Speaker 1:05:05
Well just tell people to get over themselves. Yes.

Scott Benner 1:05:07
Also your butthole is the least sexual thing I've heard in a while. Talking about being in the military, it sounds like a warzone down there. So, yeah, I mean, I'm like, I mean, I obviously I'm kidding, but I'm not kidding. Also, like, I'm thinking about not recovery and healing. It's just such a delicate place, you know, just had to have been long and difficult I would imagine.

Speaker 2 1:05:34
Oh, it was and then the the hospital let me leave without using the bathroom first. tested out once. No, I didn't. They just let me leave without using the bathroom. And, like not even peeing, and they gave me a saddle block. I don't respond to anesthesia very well. Okay. I had a colonoscopy, Don, and I woke up in the middle of it and pick the doctor and told him they had to stop like I don't respond to anesthesia very well.

Scott Benner 1:06:00
You woke up in the middle of oh my god, did you really like awake fully? Like aware? There's like, hey, there's something in my button. Everybody's here. Like you had like full consciousness.

Speaker 2 1:06:11
Yes. And I kicked the doctor and told them that they had to stop. I would have done and then they gave me more anesthesia. And then I woke up later, but I still remember the incident happening.

Scott Benner 1:06:22
Wow. Why is your life full of so many horrifying things to do with your butthole? I don't know. I don't know. Purpose, right? You don't have like, a fixation or anything like that. Just bad luck. Nope. That's that kitty Scrooge. Yeah. Well, literally and figuratively. Good luck. Yeah. That's really something. Maybe don't tell your son about this. This might really scarred like, Just tell him there were complications, but you're okay now. Let him suffer from Sure.

Speaker 2 1:06:58
I'll be fine. I limped through it. And I'm fine. I'm here to tell

Scott Benner 1:07:02
the tale. Yeah, no kidding. How long ago was all this? 10 years?

Speaker 2 1:07:05
Oh, my youngest is going to be nine in July. So around that distance of time,

Scott Benner 1:07:12
eight years ago. You're in your mid 20s. When this happened? Mid to late 20s. Yeah. You know, for some reason, that makes it more disappointing to me.

Speaker 2 1:07:21
I agree. That's when my therapy sessions really kicked into gear. Did you have any hits 24 When I had him?

Scott Benner 1:07:30
Seriously, do you have any anxiety prior to all this?

Speaker 2 1:07:33
I did. But it wasn't too bad. Yeah, I had depression prior to all of this. Okay. But the anxiety has been progressively worse and worse. And my family history is all sorts of disastrous for mental health. And all of these we heard

Scott Benner 1:07:53
you moved across the country. I figured that when you said I didn't. I didn't think it was over politics when you said that. So I mean, honestly, as oddly as we're getting to this, you have real medical trauma. Oh, yeah. No kidding. I had no idea.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:10
Doctors. Well, yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:08:12
gotta trust doctor. Yeah, no, I

Unknown Speaker 1:08:14
don't trust them at all.

Scott Benner 1:08:15
Yeah, that I got. So it's a double whammy because you're, you have a medical trauma and you needed doctors, and you already weren't in a position to try to trust them. And then that got worse when they do things like let you out of the hospital first, because you didn't finish that thought. But I'm assuming your first bowel movement after the procedure at home was not a great moment.

Speaker 2 1:08:34
No, and I didn't pee for 24 hours. So then I had to go back to the hospital local to me, which by the way, the surgery hospital was an hour and a half away at that time, then I had to go to the local hospital and get a catheter put in for a week.

Scott Benner 1:08:47
Wow. Geez, a bad day. You had some bad luck there for a while, huh? Yeah. Do you think you would have been? I don't want to say it like this, but I'm going to do you think you would have been better off if you lived in a more metropolitan area? No, no, you'll have lived

Unknown Speaker 1:09:00
in more metropolitan areas and they still

Scott Benner 1:09:05
have their eight star

Unknown Speaker 1:09:06
doctors.

Scott Benner 1:09:10
At the very least the ones you've met so far. Well,

Speaker 2 1:09:13
like as a teenager I got asked was I putting the blood and pus in my urine from having kidney stones? Because I thought that I just wanted pills. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:09:23
they thought you were what pills. Would you get from that though?

Speaker 2 1:09:27
painkillers? Yeah, that's what they thought that I want to.

Scott Benner 1:09:31
That's brilliant. Do people do that?

Unknown Speaker 1:09:34
Oh, where I'm from 100%.

Scott Benner 1:09:37
So I go into the doctor's office. Hey, everyone, here's a how to for how to skin pain pills. I don't mean it this way. But the people would go into the doctor's office, say hey, I have like give them certain symptoms that would make the doctor asked for urine and then you'd put like, blood into it to fake the things so that you would get the pain medication?

Speaker 2 1:09:56
I guess. I don't. It never made sense to me because I had blood The End person by urine and they were like, are you putting that in there? And I was like, Yeah, I'm squeezing, is it in the bathroom to make sure that there's a little bit of pus in here somehow, like, No, I would have brought it down, I would

Scott Benner 1:10:12
have brought in a baggie if I was gonna do it. But I hear what you're saying. Like, you can't count on this, that being there on the day, we got to pre plan for that. But you know what that is teaching me. Addiction is a real motivator. Like, seriously, because that's, I know that sounds silly, because it's such a weird and odd thing. But really, if you step back, you know how brilliant that is. Like, like, really like, like, that's a problem solving person right there. I need pain medication. I'm going to go to the doctor say these things, put blood and pus in my urine to mimic this issue that would end up with me getting paid. I mean, honestly, I wouldn't have thought about it would you know, just saying,

Speaker 2 1:10:56
I was like, 16? I mean, that's not gonna stop anyone from doing drugs. But like you I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't. I'm good. Something I didn't even consider that at the time. Yeah. And which is funny, because my brother was a drug addict. And my mom was an alcoholic or was an alcoholic. She's no longer with us. But like, I don't even consider that. Like, I don't even know that was a thing.

Scott Benner 1:11:20
Yeah, that's really I mean, it's just oddly interesting to me that that would be a way somebody would come up with drugs like to drug seat because what you're doing is drug seeking. But, but the way you the way you handle it, I mean, that's like, second, let's not just go in there and going, Oh, I hurt you like, let me let me show you. Let me show you testing that will show you I'm in pain. I don't know, it's pretty damn impressive. I'd be seriously. Especially because you got to think that the first guy that came up with it, and it was obviously a guy. The first time somebody came up with it, like it was probably during withdrawals. And they're like, You know what I could do here? That's gotta be Yeah, it's just fascinating to me. Wow. Okay, Heather, what have we not talked about that we should have? Oh, diabetes? No, no, in the middle, you said the podcast was really valuable and helped you. I heard you say that.

Speaker 2 1:12:10
It did it. I mean, truthfully, all the things that you say on the podcast, are so true. And my distrust for doctors was, I know that I'm supposed to consult my doctor before I do anything, because you're not a medical doctor. And this isn't medical advice, but they don't know what they're doing. None of them know what they're doing. And an endocrinologist that doesn't have diabetes definitely doesn't know what they're doing. And they're just guessing just as much as I am. But I'm seeing it every single day. And they're just seeing numbers on a piece of paper. So I have been making changes since three weeks post diagnosis on my end, because the doctors wouldn't respond to our messages, they wouldn't help us. They were neglectful. Just say the least,

Scott Benner 1:13:02
you know, it's funny, there's two things happening that you can't see right now, I'm gonna tell you about the first one and the second one. The first one is I have another monitor off to my other side where I was Googling things and stuff like that, like anemia and stuff like that. And my Facebook page is open for the private group. And it just populated in front of me because somebody tagged me. I had been waiting to be able to share this, but I didn't think it would be so soon today, my son's endo appointment is a once he was 5.2. His last one was 6.3. And though I had been casually listening to the podcast for a while, I had only recently, I had only recently started making changes to the settings on my own. We don't refer we don't restrict food activity, blah, blah, blah. But what that person just said is the same thing. It's fascinating. They just said the same thing you said, like I made changes to my settings. That's yeah, and we said earlier, diabetes is just settings. It's it's you get the right amount of insulin at the right time. And if you're on a pump, that happened through your settings, if your settings are wrong, you're not getting the right amount of insulin. If your settings are wrong on your insulin to carb ratio, for example, then you're Miss timing your meals. It's all just timing and amount. So yep. And for a little boy here, who by the way is adorable whoever's kid this is well done. And, and for you, a lady in her 30s Whose butthole one time exploit it doesn't matter if you're a little boy or a lady with an exploded butthole. It's timing and amount. And that's that. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Good. I appreciate you saying that. I mean, so the reason it was exciting to me when you reached out at first and you were like, Hey, I think I fast forwarded like with the podcast. I was excited to have you on because sort of behind the scenes. I get pressure from people and mostly happens. I don't want to say where mostly happens, but because it'll out somebody and it's unfair to put pressure on them. But there are people who We'll tell you, basically, when somebody is diagnosed with diabetes, don't tell them everything. It's too much. Yeah, like you don't, don't give them all the information, let them figure it out slowly. And I'm like, I don't understand that idea. Like, tell people everything. And then they can apply it as it makes sense to them. It just because this x person is easily confused by something, doesn't mean that everybody would be. And I think it's wrong to withhold things, protecting the one person who attend who would be confused by it. Because overwhelmingly, I mean, if you saw the numbers for the downloads of the podcast, and how many people are in the Facebook group and everything, you would see that overwhelmingly people can handle being told the truth. Yeah. So I like that idea. Because it is my, it is my feeling that if I knew when my daughter was diagnosed, what I know now that the first number of years of her life with diabetes would have been much better.

Speaker 2 1:15:58
So exactly, I feel very fortunate that I did have the background that I did with his diagnosis, like I already knew how to count carbs. So I don't have any issues with putting things on a scale. Like I've taught several clients how to do that, like it. That was a no brainer to me, having to figure out the insulin to carb ratio, like it's, it's a playing game, like you have to figure out what works and not all carbs are created equal. So you have to figure out what works for this living and what doesn't work for that food. And you just kind of have to learn and go with it. And like you say, be flexible. And take a chance and be bold. And if you have to catch a low later then catch a low. But I'd much rather fight. Well catch a low than fight a high all day. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:16:45
And you got that I'm not. I'm not speaking for you. But you got a lot of that for the podcast, right? All of that from the podcast. Alright, so Well, I'm glad. Remember I said I was doing two things that you couldn't see. You want to know what the second one is? Yes. Okay. This is so weird. I'm not wearing shoes or socks right now. If I cry, if I cross my left foot over my right foot, I can use my big toe on my right foot and the toe next to it to pull all of the toes on my left foot. Like I can crack the toes on my left foot by putting them in between my big toe on my, the second toe, on my right foot and pulling. I cannot cross my right foot over my left foot and accomplish the same thing. I can't pull the toes on my right foot with my left foot only my left foot with my right foot. I know it's not a big deal, Heather, but I work on it constantly and I can't figure it out.

Speaker 2 1:17:38
Well, I'm gonna make a suggestion for you. Go ahead wear shoes that you're gonna. No absolutely not. No, don't wear shoes. Wear them as least often as possible. Your feet need to connect with the ground. Do what is called cars. C A R S with

Scott Benner 1:17:58
Did you mean? Did you meet vehicles? Nope. I did it. And do it with your toes? Controlled articular rotation? Foot car, huh? Okay.

Speaker 2 1:18:12
Yeah. And it'll teach you different you'll I mean, it's gonna take a lot of effort because I can't do it still either. But lifting gesture big toe up, or lifting all of your other toes, but your big toe with your big toe being sitting on the floor. Just get some more motion and mobility. Really in your toes? Well, I'm

Scott Benner 1:18:32
gonna do that while I'm sitting here instead of the other thing. Yeah. What's my end goal with this just more control over my feet? You have more control over your toes. Maybe one day I'd be able to eat with them. I mean, sure. If you want it, there's no way you thought you thought your hips were bad. There's no way my foots get into my mouth.

Speaker 2 1:18:54
I don't think your your feet are the foundation of your whole body.

Scott Benner 1:18:59
Okay, so you said some are going to be that we're basically if you're bored, it's over now, but I have one more question for Heather. Okay, so I gotta find my phone. I found it. It's about electrical impulses.

Unknown Speaker 1:19:17
From the CANS unit.

Scott Benner 1:19:18
No, from the ground. Oh, second. I didn't know like we if you were getting into some hippie stuff when you said like your feet have to be on the ground like connected with the ground. Were you saying that? I mean, if you want

Speaker 2 1:19:31
to call it hippie stuff, but it's just the foundation of your body and many people don't have good the ability for their feet. They don't have a lot of people just don't use their feet. They use shoes and your shoes, take away the sensations that you would have if you walked on the floor.

Scott Benner 1:19:57
Okay, so It's like something about grounding. Yeah. Genuine Earth. There's like sleep systems beds that they say grounds you to the, to the earth. And I don't know why for. Why do I know about this? I don't know. Like, I mean, I don't know how true or false it is, but they literally want you to run a wire from like your bed to the ground outside to Oh, I'm not doing it to connect you to the grounds like, I don't know. Anyway, it sounded kind of hippy to me. But that sounds happy. Yeah. I kind of have thought you were heading there?

Speaker 2 1:20:36
No, I don't think you should connect yourself to the ground outside. Okay, I think when you stand up and walk you do that enough.

Scott Benner 1:20:43
Gotcha. How to connect the ground of your bed with an earth grounding Earth. It's called earthing, earthing or grounding. I don't know if anybody knows about that. I'm interested.

Unknown Speaker 1:20:53
I'm not. Yeah. Well,

Scott Benner 1:20:55
I'm interested because I think it might people. By might be by might be up saying them. 100% Sure it is. But somebody has a different experience with it. I would like to hear about it.

Speaker 2 1:21:09
Well, if it's a doctor, no offense, it's probably not going to be factual.

Scott Benner 1:21:14
Heather, are there people in other professions that you don't trust? Oh, almost all of them. Okay. Would it be easier to make a list of people you do trust? Yes, go ahead.

Speaker 2 1:21:25
Well, you You're not a doctor. And you just base yourself off of your experience and what you've learned. I trust my husband, not the youngest kid, maybe the older one. Yeah, I do. Trust him. He's really good. He's really mature. Even before diabetes. This one's had. Literally, um,

Scott Benner 1:21:50
oh my god. You never had that feeling like that. Like, oh, I really want to have a baby feeling. No. How did you end up having a baby? drunk at a wedding? No. Okay. It's usually you don't even drink it away. Does that did your husband like seriously? Does your husband want kids? And you were like, Alright, I guess so.

Speaker 2 1:22:12
No. Neither one of us had like the parental instinct. It just kind of happened. And we just.

Scott Benner 1:22:24
That's right. We're gonna do this. I really don't think you should let your children hear this.

Unknown Speaker 1:22:31
Okay, that part on mine?

Scott Benner 1:22:33
Yeah. leave that part out. Yeah. Mommy and Daddy are here. Yeah. Well, isn't it interesting how that even for a person who explains things the way you do? Now they're here? And would Can you imagine them not being here? No, not at all. Something, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Did your husband imagine it? Can I ask? Did your husband have a similar like family history? Growing up? US

Unknown Speaker 1:23:00
similar? Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:23:03
So you think is it fair to say that you are trying to protect other people from being treated the way you were treated?

Unknown Speaker 1:23:10
Oh, that's 100%.

Scott Benner 1:23:13
Okay, fair. So maybe back when you were younger? You couldn't imagine how to do that consciously. So you thought just by not making babies? It would stop you from being your mom or something like that?

Speaker 2 1:23:24
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because being her was, and still is one of my biggest fears. Wow. Okay. It's interesting, even though she has since passed, but yeah, it's one of my biggest fears.

Scott Benner 1:23:38
I understand. Alright, I think we've done a lot here today, Heather. Good. I think we're done. What's the rest of your day looking like? schoolwork? Oh, god, that's horrible. I'm gonna edit this podcast on my face falls off. I'll probably edit for the next. I don't want to say this. But I'm trying to go I'm going away next week. So you guys can't know that I'm gone. So I have to. I have to basically button up everything that I want to put out for like the next 12 days. So I think it's crazy. I think I'm gonna edit. It's two o'clock now. I'm gonna get something to eat. And then I'm going to edit probably until like 10 o'clock tonight.

Speaker 2 1:24:19
That's a that's a long day. Yeah. I mean, it's what two o'clock where you are?

Scott Benner 1:24:22
Yeah, it's gonna take about eight hours of editing. And then I'm going to then I'll pop up tomorrow Fresh as a daisy and I will record at 9am 9am Who put that on my schedule nine and whatnot. How? But This better be good. This better be a hell of a conversation for me to be up that early. I'm not. I'm just not even joking at all. And then I have a meeting at 5pm tomorrow for a new advertiser. speculations. Oh, we'll see. Hopefully they're in we'll find out And then I'll spend the rest of tomorrow and the next day making the content ready and scheduling it. And that's, I

Unknown Speaker 1:25:09
appreciate it what

Scott Benner 1:25:10
I'm gonna do. So it's my pleasure, as they say, yeah, yeah, that's what you're supposed to say bye. I'm supposed to say that. And that's what it actually is my pleasure. So, like joking aside, like, I don't know what this says about me. Or maybe we could figure it out if we had more time. But that your son is healthy, and that this like little boy got a five to and that all the people in the group are doing well, or on their way to doing well, or doing poorly and don't realize that they stay with the podcast long enough that they'll be doing well. Like all of their success makes me if you ever had a job that at the end of the day you were like satisfied with and you felt good about? Yes, yeah. That's how I feel. Like, it's just yeah, it's like, Oh, I did a good, I did a good job. And I did my job well, and people are going to do better because of that, like, I try not to get too. I try not to get too existential and think about it too far. Because I don't want to give myself I just don't think I deserve all this credit, because people do a lot of hard work, obviously. But there's no doubt in my mind that you meet a nine year old boy with diabetes, and he doesn't find the podcast, and you find one that does. And the one who does has a better chance of like, 30 years from now still being healthy. Yes. And, and like I tried to think about that I try to think about like, I'm going to get up today and do a thing that is going to save a person from something. years from now when I'm dead. And, and they'll never even know they were saved from it. So there'll be saved the physical impact and the psychological trauma of it. Right, and that'll be

Speaker 2 1:26:50
fine. We'll probably never know. I'm hoping that one day he'll listen to the podcast. But

Scott Benner 1:26:56
yeah, I just think I just think like, wow, like, that's something like I think because like, if you're talking about it, like in a business sense. I hope that we're creating doctors and CDs and people who stick up for themselves in doctors offices, and people who take the time to talk to their doctors about it, which people do people from the podcast all the time, they'll get into, you know, a setting with a doctor, the doctor will be like, I don't know how to you know how to do all this. And they'll literally pull out their phone and be like, I listened to this episode, and then this one and this one. And and that is great. You know, like, because it'll help people. But like, Are you the way I used to say it? Because people find it morbid, but like, I kind of hope that like, I kind of hope 1000s of people show up at my funeral. And they're all They're going like, Hey, that guy like he did a thing a long time ago when I'm healthy because of it. That's really like I don't and that's a again, a it's a bit of a euphemism. I don't actually want you all to show up at my funeral. To be perfectly honest, please leave me alone. But But, but I want that idea. Like I want that when my I want that one day when someone hears that I passed. There's five seconds where they think I think I'm healthy because of that guy. And oh, yeah, and not for me. I don't want it for me. I want it for what it means to them. That's just the way I'm explaining it. And if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 1:28:20
Yeah, I understand. Good. I'm gonna I'm gonna promote you for a second on your own podcast. So like whatever. juicebox Doc's dot com I think that's the website. Go to it. That's how I have my current doctor that knows about the Juicebox Podcast and supports the methods again juicebox Doc's dot com Yeah, go to the website and find a doctor local to

Scott Benner 1:28:47
you it's it's a list of doctors that people from the podcast suggested may go Yeah, I don't do a good enough job I have a lot of stuff sometimes I don't do a good enough job promoting all of it but that I actually thought that today when there's a person that Facebook group put up this it's a graph like a real up and down graph. And I popped in my said, like you're chasing the blood sugars. I forget what else I said I said like three other things is like in the person's like, we have to explain to me what this means. Like it would be nice if there was an episode about it. I thought you mother

Unknown Speaker 1:29:20
there's a whole podcast

Scott Benner 1:29:23
podcast about it. It's all been written down already for you. But no, I didn't really think that I just what I really thought was like, oh my god, I'm not doing a good enough job. reaching people. Has that information for him exists already. And so we just made sure you send a link like check this out. And you hope they make it to that because the answer to that problem is there. I mean, you

Speaker 2 1:29:43
can lead a horse to water I think that's the same you just can't make him drink. You literally have led everyone to the water. You may have the resources.

Scott Benner 1:29:53
Yeah, I mean, yes and no like it is possible. To be in is crazy. But it's possible to be in the Facebook group for the podcast and not even know about the podcast. I've actually seen it. Like I've seen.

Speaker 2 1:30:07
I've seen it too, but been in there for years. So like what podcast? Like, I mean, read the title of the page,

Scott Benner 1:30:16
give any idea how that makes me feel something like, oh my god, really? Like what am I doing? What am I not doing? Wow.

Speaker 1 1:30:26
Well, Heather, you were terrific. I don't think I can put the word butthole in the title because we already have an episode called butthole. Adjacent, which is about Jason's teen years didn't explode. Yours was decimated by childbirth. But

Scott Benner 1:30:42
wow, I bet you that takes sexy time away for like a whole year. Am I wrong? No,

Unknown Speaker 1:30:47
you're not wrong. Yeah. No,

Scott Benner 1:30:49
I'd be like, no, no, thank you. No, yeah. No, thank you. Keep your baby. Keep your baby stick over there. Thank you. Yes. Okay. I'm good. Oh, yeah, I bet. All right. Heather, thank you very much. You were terrific.

Unknown Speaker 1:31:04
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:31:05
Hold on one second for me. Okay.

Well, I'm gonna thank Heather for coming on the show, of course, and I'm gonna thank Omni pod Omni pod.com/juice box, maybe you could get a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash. Or maybe you'll just jump right into the Omni pod five. I don't know what you're gonna do. You might not know either. Go check out the link, check out the link. I don't know. Go to the link, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. When you support the sponsors using the links you're supporting this show. Speaking of the sponsors, touched by type one touched by type one.org. head there now follow them on Facebook. Follow them on the grammar that kids don't have on Instagram the grammar anymore, do they? It doesn't matter to me. Go do that stuff. Touch by type one.org Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of Juicebox Podcast.

#1047 I Love Tall Boots

Rebecca has type 1 diabetes, celiac, Hashimoto's Raynauds, Mast Cell and more.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1047 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Rebecca who has had diabetes type one for 42 years. She also has celiac, something called neck crow BIOSIS live, you'll find out about that later Hashimotos Raynaud's and mast cell activation syndrome I wish I could pronounce the other thing I'd tell you about it now. Anyway, while you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget if you use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com You will save 40% off of your entire order. Speaking of great deals, the diabetes Pro Tip series is completely free and waiting for you at episode 1000 and it runs through episode 1026. What else can I tell you? Are you newly diagnosed, try the bold beginning series. Check it out at juicebox podcast.com. And don't forget to follow us on Instagram Facebook, Tik Tok or wherever you do your socials.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G seven dexcom.com forward slash juice box head over there now get all the information you need. Check out that Dexcom right there and those pretty pictures and all those descriptive words and get started. Just click Get Started. When you get to the website dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. When use the links from the podcast, you're supporting the production of the show. And speaking of links, contour next one.com forward slash juicebox learn all about the contour next gen blood glucose meter, its accuracy, its second chance test strips and why it's the meter that we use here. Contour next one.com forward slash juicebox.

Rebecca 2:18
My name is Rebecca and I have had type one diabetes for almost 42 years. And I have a bunch of other autoimmune issues as well.

Scott Benner 2:29
Wait 42 years. How old are you? I'm old. You're at least 42 But

Rebecca 2:35
well I'm yeah, I'm 52. So

Scott Benner 2:40
I'm gonna be 53 This summer Why are you telling me I'm old?

Rebecca 2:43
Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean, it's, yeah, it's halfway there. Maybe

Scott Benner 2:48
what were you nine when you were diagnosed?

Rebecca 2:50
I'm 11 like my birthday is in the fall. So I was like, it was like two days before my 12th birthday. I was diagnosed well,

Scott Benner 2:59
okay, so that's a long time to have diabetes and also in the family have diabetes. No one

Rebecca 3:05
has diabetes. My mom had thyroid disease. My aunt has thyroid disease. My mom's first cousin had type one diabetes and lupus. And yeah, I think there's a lot of, you know, kind of that kind of thing. Yeah.

Scott Benner 3:22
A lot of that kind of thing. Yeah. Okay. Do you have any siblings?

Rebecca 3:27
I have a sister Sister.

Scott Benner 3:29
She have any of this stuff?

Rebecca 3:31
No, she has? Well,

not really sure she has cancer that so oddly. Yeah. Because their own thing.

Scott Benner 3:44
You are the first person that said My sister has cancer and then giggled afterwards.

Rebecca 3:49
It's almost like it's ridiculous. Like, I kind of do feel like my health is ridiculous. And it's just a lot. It's a lot in my family. Yeah. But yeah, my sister has ovarian cancer. So she's dealing with that. But no, I don't think she really has autoimmune stuff. I think there was when she was running, they had some kind of like theory about the attachment points of her attendance and that there was something autoimmune going on with that. But that seems to have died down. I haven't heard anything about that recently.

Scott Benner 4:20
It's funny, isn't it? How health can feel like a, like a bad zombie movie? Yes. Yeah. You're like, you kill all the zombies in the living room, and they opened the door into the dining room, you're like, Oh, we did it. And there's more zombies. Like you gotta be kidding me. And then you get all those zombies and you walk into the kitchen, you know, like, Well, finally, we can add more zombies. It's

Rebecca 4:41
exactly, exactly. Well, I think too, like, once you have diabetes, you're like, oh my god,

this is a lot. This is a lot and like the supplies and the insulin and the CGM and the, you know, exercise and monitoring and then and then like when you get something pellets. In addition, it's like, Are you kidding me?

Scott Benner 5:03
Yeah. What else did you What else did you get? So celiac,

Rebecca 5:08
and then but that wasn't till my adulthood but I actually think I had celiac in my childhood before type one. And I actually think that the celiac not getting found and treated with a diet change to eliminate gluten. I think that that triggered my immune system to then attack my eyelets I have memories of like stomach aches since I was really little

Scott Benner 5:33
your parents know about your stomach aches. Yeah. Yeah. What did they think that they just got a defective kid? Or did they? Yeah, they know. They

Rebecca 5:41
were just like, Here have some relates

Rolaids? Yeah. Like I my dad,

I have memories of like my dad having like Maalox on top of his bureau. And I would just like go in there and take Maalox off the top of his bureau. Did it help? No. I mean, it didn't help but it did sort of like placebo effect help. I guess. I don't know.

Scott Benner 6:02
What part of the country you're from that you just said bureau. Bureau. New England. I was gonna say you're in the northeast, right? Yeah.

Rebecca 6:10
Why do people not St. Jerome?

Scott Benner 6:11
I mean, I'm from Philly. So I know that word, but I bet you there are a lot of people right now who are like does she mean the dresser?

Rebecca 6:19
The dresser Yeah, so So yeah, so So celiac. So I think the celiac was first and then the type one diabetes because the celiac wasn't diagnosed.

Scott Benner 6:35
Okay, no, I take your point. But what else?

Rebecca 6:37
Then when I was 15 I got macro BIOSIS lipolytica. Diabetic Horam.

Scott Benner 6:42
Let's just slow down there first no as one does have a second Rebecca as I turned to the other computer, say again? necro

Rebecca 6:52
necro BIOSIS lipo indica. So it's like lipo indica, diabetic quorum.

I got it. Believe it or not. Yeah, it's just like, really ugly thing that happens with the skin because of diabetes. Oh, the

Scott Benner 7:07
dark skin thing around like your neck and stuff? No, no. This is something different. Hold on.

Rebecca 7:13
It's on my shins. Yeah, it's or if you maybe if you look under NLD and type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 7:20
I'll get in there. Hold on. Yeah. Oh, goodness. You have that?

Rebecca 7:25
Oh, yes. So that developed on my shins.

Scott Benner 7:30
Sorry, I don't know what to say that it looks like the makeup from a zombie movie. Because

Rebecca 7:34
yeah, my shins are really like, striking. Like people do ask me all the time. Like what did you do to your shins? And I'm like, I took nothing. But yeah, so that appeared on my shins when I was 15. So that was the next thing.

Scott Benner 7:50
Do you think I should have like a bell or a song that plays when somebody says something? It's never been said before? Like,

Rebecca 7:56
um, yeah, yeah, there should be a bell.

I don't know. You haven't. No one's ever said necroptosis lipolytica. Diabetic. Oral.

Scott Benner 8:04
No, no, this is a first I'm, I'm enjoying the first right now. I don't even know how to write it down. You're saying and LD will get me there. Okay, yeah, that's immune.

Rebecca 8:15
Yeah, that's autoimmune. And it's the it's the immune system destroying the fat layer of the skin. So yeah, it's really like a cosmetic issue. Mostly. If you slow it down with steroids, then it's just been like, no, it's a little rough to look at.

Scott Benner 8:33
But here's this colored. Is yours. Lumpy, or has yours ever festival opened?

Rebecca 8:38
Yes. So it has like it can get infected. I did. It was like infected at one point in high school.

Scott Benner 8:47
Do you love tall boots?

Rebecca 8:50
I love tall boots. Every fall I'm like it's boots weather.

Scott Benner 8:55
And I'm just gonna jot down here for the title of the episode. I love tall boots. Okay. That's a good episode title. This is horrifying. I'm sorry.

Rebecca 9:05
Yeah, no, it's it is it's horrifying. And it's

and it doesn't there's no research really into anything that can be done and it just sort of, is what it is. It just sort of stays. But that was like the, you know, the next thing and I was 15 So like when you're 15 and

Unknown Speaker 9:21
your girl

Scott Benner 9:24
boy 15 And I'm, I don't know a giraffe. I think anybody would be upset. Can you shave this? Like what? How do you shave your legs there?

Rebecca 9:33
Oh, I don't grow hair. They're like it's Yeah, it looks like so both shins have it and it looks like it looks like a burn. Looks like I was burned. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 9:43
just your shins? Yeah,

Rebecca 9:46
it's really weird because there's skin right next to the lesions and that skin spine. But like, if you go over a little bit, then there's this whole thing happening.

Scott Benner 9:57
Absolutely. The first time I've ever seen that. It's just Is that just the type one? Yes. You said it pairs diabetes.

Rebecca 10:05
Yeah, it's a type one thing I don't. And it's, it's dermatologic. It's, you can treat it with steroids and they give you like creams to start, but they don't work and they thin the skin. And then the only thing that I found stops, it is injections. So they would inject steroids into the shins themselves the lesions around the border of them to kind of keep them contained.

Scott Benner 10:29
Yeah, it says here the cause of I'm not pronouncing this God, you do it, you were already through it. The cause of

Rebecca 10:33
necro BIOSIS lipolytica. Diabetic quorum

Scott Benner 10:37
is unknown. It is thought it is thought to be linked to blood vessel inflammation related to autoimmune factors, the damage, or this damage is proteins in the skin or college and people with type one are more likely to get it than those with type two. Yeah, okay. Well, what's next?

Rebecca 10:55
Okay, so after that, yeah, so after that, I, I guess I had like a little reprieve. And then I got married, had a baby. And then right after my son was born, my thyroid was attacked by my immune system. I guess that's Hashimotos. But my TSH was 89.

My primary care called me and she's like, this is the highest TSH I've ever seen.

Scott Benner 11:25
Yeah, they should have rang a bell for you to write.

Rebecca 11:28
I wanted the bell. That point. I was like,

Scott Benner 11:30
thank you. And when you started dating, you just started asking guys, but boobs or leg which do you prefer? And then if they said, like, you just went home, or how does?

Rebecca 11:40
Ya know, like I, I've always like, been, you know, like, able to

find boyfriends and, you know, friends and what have you. But I do think that I do kind of, I used to sort of preface things like, well, just wait to see my legs.

Scott Benner 12:01
I have to be honest with you, Rebecca, and I think I can speak for men in general here on this. We're very easy to make happy. No one really cares. It just.

Rebecca 12:10
Yeah, I mean, it's a good litmus test in some ways, because I you know, I waited a few

Scott Benner 12:15
out. Yeah, I bet. Well, that's yeah. Okay, I'm so sorry. After the after you got your 89 TSH, down. What, by the way, how did how did you feel at that point?

Rebecca 12:29
Well, I was postpartum. And I was exhausted. And like, everyone was like, of course, you're exhausted. You just had a baby. And I was like, Yeah, but I feel really not good. Like, I need sleep. And I also still had celiacs that had celiac the whole time I was pregnant. And it wasn't, wasn't discovered yet. So

Scott Benner 12:56
I was that on top of it. Yeah.

Rebecca 12:58
So amazingly, I got through pregnancy, somehow. And he got nutrients. You know, he got whatever nutrients he got. He's actually like healthy and fine, which is amazing.

Scott Benner 13:08
But he has no autoimmune stuff. Here's your son. Well, you

Rebecca 13:11
know, he has eczema, like a little bit of eczema.

But he's otherwise like, completely healthy.

Scott Benner 13:19
Where's his eczema?

Rebecca 13:20
Well, when he was a baby, he had like, behind his knees and his elbows and his hands. Now, it's just like, occasionally with like, the wrong soap. He sort of reacts.

Scott Benner 13:32
May I say? Keep an eye on his TSH? Yeah, yeah. Right, just in case. God, was there something else or just stop after the thyroid?

Rebecca 13:42
Oh, no, there's more. So, um, so thyroid, and I started medication for the thyroid. And then when my son was like, I want to say like, one day, I did talk to my endocrinologist and I was like, Listen, I've had diarrhea for like, 30 years, can we maybe think about what this is like, I was just like, I can't leave the house. And like, I went to grad school in Boston, I knew every bathroom in Boston. So I but after I had my son, it was was almost like my immune system has sort of taken a break during pregnancy and sort of was like, alright, we'll let her have a few months of like normal eating and digestion because the baby and then as soon as he was born, I was back to like, being really sick to my stomach all the time. So finally got the celiac diagnosis after my son was born, and started on a gluten free diet, and I had a ton of like, joint inflammation with the celiac so I had like, you know, taken up like knee supports and wrist supports and stopped driving a stick shift, that kind of thing. Yeah, that kind

Scott Benner 14:48
of, you know how when your knees hurt so bad, you can't drive a stick anymore, right? Yeah, no, really. I

Rebecca 14:54
just was like, I can't do this anymore. My knees and

Scott Benner 14:57
Rebecca most people right now are listening. thinking what is stick shift. Now let's talk about the Dexcom g7. The Dexcom g7 is a small and wearable continuous glucose monitoring system. It sends real time glucose readings to your Dexcom g7 app or the Dexcom receiver, use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To learn more and get started today, you will be able to effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they're headed. This way, you'll be able to make better decisions about food, insulin and activity. Once you're able to see the impact that those variables have on blood sugar, you'll begin to make more purposeful decisions and have better outcomes. My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom product for so many years. I don't even remember when she started. But today she wears the Dexcom G seven and it is small and easy. And oh my goodness, are you going to love it dexcom.com forward slash juice box you can head there now and click on the button that will get you your free benefits check or just hit that other button that says Get Started. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. As you heard earlier, this episode of the podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. But when you get a contour meter, what you're really getting is their test strips. Contour next test strips feature remarkable accuracy as part of the contour next blood glucose monitoring system. They're the number one branded over the counter test strips, and they of course have Second Chance sampling. Second Chance sampling can help you to avoid wasted strips, contour next one.com forward slash juice box. Near the top of the page you'll see a Buy Now button it's bright yellow. When you click on that, you'll get eight options of places online to buy contour meters and test strips walmart.com Amazon Walgreens CVS Pharmacy Meijer, Kroger target Rite Aid. These are all links you'll find at my link, linker D link links, blink blink, blink blink. I'm just getting head over there. Now, won't you please listen, the contour meters are incredibly accurate. They are simple to use. They're easy to hold, easy to read, and they have a bright light for nighttime testing. Part of me wants to say that the second chance sampling is the biggest deal. But honestly, it's the accuracy. These meters are accurate. And I know a lot of people like to think well I have a CGM. I don't need a meter. You do. You need a meter. You need to be accurate. You deserve it to be accurate contour and x.com forward slash juicebox. Take a look at the contour next gen and the other meters available from contour. We use my links you're supporting the production of the show and helping to keep it free and plentiful. They have no idea what you're talking about. Their cars are going to drive themselves and you're like you remember manual transmissions right. And they're like why? Right? Yeah. At one point when Arden was getting her license, she's like, she chose this like, she's like, I want to get this car and she picked some car from a TV shows like an old car from the 60s. I was like you are not going to enjoy driving a car with drum brakes. And she's like with what I was like, yeah, yeah, no power steering, and the heats not going to work very well. It's definitely not going to have air conditioning. And she's like, what, what now? And I was like, Yeah, cars didn't used to be this great. Right? Yeah. So anyway, okay, so we go back for a second. I've had diarrhea for 30 years. Yeah. So

Rebecca 18:37
I really, I really just sort of like, thought I had a nervous disposition or I thought I had sort of a a nervous kind of stomach. And I, I don't know why I didn't, I think because it had always been I didn't. I didn't really know that you could actually like have the urge to use the bathroom and wait.

Unknown Speaker 19:02
Like, God always been like, oh,

Rebecca 19:04
I have to, I gotta get I gotta get somewhere

Scott Benner 19:06
always very impressed by people who are like, I have to go to the bathroom and you're like, Oh, we'll get you to a bathroom right now. They're like, that's fine. We can go when I get home. Right? But those people were superheroes.

Rebecca 19:17
Yeah, they are. I mean, like, that's that is like,

Scott Benner 19:21
super understand people who walked in the bathroom and came out eight minutes later washing their hands. You're like, oh, wait, what happened? How the poop came out. It all came out in eight minutes. And you washed your hair in eight minutes. Like, like you didn't? You're in there just going like do your God just please let this end and and that's happening to them. That's terrible. That's such a long time.

Rebecca 19:46
Yeah, it's such a long time. I mean, yeah.

Scott Benner 19:49
So what did you when you said this to the doctor? What did they say?

Rebecca 19:54
He will I think I had been reporting often on that I was you know having diarrhea. And poor digestion. And what I felt like was chronic stomach aches. And I think like this was I was 30. This was like in the 2000s. So it was like, Yeah, early 2000s. And he was like, Have we ever tested you for celiac? And I was like, No.

And I just had like a feeling write down that this was going to be a thing.

And then he was like, well try avoiding gluten for a few days. He's like, look it up. You know, there's lots of information out there, look it up, and then try avoiding gluten for a few days. And we'll and if you feel better, it's probably that but then we'll, we'll get a look at your antibodies. And then if your antibodies are positive, we'll do a biopsy of your duodenum. So I was like, Okay, great.

Scott Benner 20:45
That sounds like fun. Thanks. Yeah. Sounds great. So how did they diagnose you then?

Rebecca 20:49
So my antibodies came back. Hi, hi. Hi. And then he said, Well, let's do the, the endoscopic biopsy, and just make sure, you know, and see what kind of condition in your villi are in. So we did that. And right after the endoscopy, the doctor came out was like, Oh, you have celiac? You definitely have celiac. They gave me pictures of my, you know, pictures of all the things and there was 100% atrophy of my small intestine of the villi. Yeah. So that was it was almost like, I felt vindicated in some ways. Like, oh, I knew something was wrong. I always knew something was wrong. Like we weren't catching something. And so So yeah, so got that figured out.

Scott Benner 21:41
Jeez. And now you just eat gluten free? That's how you manage that.

Rebecca 21:45
Yes. But so like, and this is, this is sort of one of my, the things that I think people don't know or don't understand is that type one and celiac together is like its own little slice of hell, because it's, it's just a bad combination. So I think like, diabetes control has always been really hard because of the digestion issues. Like I just haven't had normal digestion. And now that I'm gluten free, I think it's, it's better. I also. So once you this is the thing is like, once you go gluten free, your ability to tolerate gluten goes down. So like where I used to have diarrhea and stomach aches. Now if I get even a little gluten, I'm vomiting. It's terrible. It's like, horrendous. And I think that that's, that's kind of the thing that people don't understand. When when you say to a waiter, or you say to someone who's invited you for dinner, it's like, well, it's this whole environment that you really have to be aware of, to cook in in order to not get me sick. So yeah, so I think the celiac has just been rough and, and food labeling is terrible with with being gluten free. So like there's a million foods out there that are gluten free, but aren't labeled gluten free. So you end up reading a lot of ingredient lists and things like that. So I spend a lot of time trying squinting.

Scott Benner 23:16
They don't tell you that when you get older, right or read anything.

Rebecca 23:20
I know well, like my, my close up vision got that right. When I really like now I really have to read ingredients. It's like I can't you know, I have to pull out

Scott Benner 23:31
the tenders. Kelly and I were at the store the other day, picking out frames for both of us for the glasses we need to read and heard to see in general. I just saw us in a mirror and I was like, Oh my god. World. Yeah, yeah, I was like, yeah, that happened. So we're both shocked. I've never like, you know what I mean? Like, that was a new experience for me, the two of us out like, Hey, she's like, I'm gonna get my contacts and get new frames. And I'm like, Okay, well, I think I have to get my eyes checked because I I'm at the point now where I put my glasses on to use something up close. And I'm like, do these not work? Right? So these aren't right anymore, and I need to get a new prescription and yeah, okay, so that's gotta be it, though. Right? You don't have anything else? Or did you get a Raynaud's or something like that?

Rebecca 24:18
Yeah. So then Reno, Reno. Oh

Scott Benner 24:20
my god. Hold on. Stop a second. You didn't put that in your notes? I just guessed.

Rebecca 24:25
Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely added that.

Scott Benner 24:29
My God, hold on. I become a soothsayer. Yeah.

Rebecca 24:33
Three notes

in my notes is okay. I mean, it's not a big deal. Like, whatever. I mean, compared to everything else, right notes is like nothing, like keep your hands warm. Keep your feet warm. And I'm a skier. So I put the toe warmers in my boots and I, you know, the three notes is no big deal.

Scott Benner 24:52
Well, only, you know, you have to have the perspective of having diarrhea for 30 years. And then you just go down doesn't matter. I don't even care what color my fingers. Yeah, what do you think of whatever?

Rebecca 25:02
Yeah, that's easy. So yeah,

so there's that. And then, and then I got, I don't know when this happened, but like I have dry eyes, dry mouth, like, I think it's sjogrens. But when I get tested for sjogrens, I, I come up negative, they just got sick a syndrome. And I don't know what that stands for, but it's dry. It's like dry mucosal membranes. And it's, it's, it's hard because it's while I sleep, I have to wake up and put drops in my eyes. So it's, it's, it kind of affects my sleep quality. And, like, if I'm exercising and breathing hard, I have to have water with me. Because it's just really hard to keep my throat from being dry. So that that is a strange thing. But I think a lot of people with auto immune conditions have that sort of dry eyes, dry mouth kind of thing going on. So there's that and then and then more recently, I developed some kind of like histamine intolerance or mast cell activation syndrome, but I that's a whole other thing. And that's, how's that? That's, it's, um, so it's, it's another like, bunch of foods that cause my, my mast cells to I think D granulate. And then you have sort of like this, I was getting these 3am 4am attacks of like, vomiting, vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, flushing, passing out kind of thing.

Scott Benner 26:38
And do you have any idea what brings it on?

Rebecca 26:41
Yeah, so histamines. So food with histamine. So I have figured out that like red wine is out. Tomatoes are out, tomato sauce. And then like anything preserved, so anything that has been sitting out, or has been preserved in anything pickled anything, like anything that's in a can, or in a jar on the shelf is full of histamine. And so like, I can do fish, but I have to know that the fish died like yesterday or today, or I really can't do it. So to avoid these, like histamine things, I I've changed my diet even more to accommodate that.

Scott Benner 27:33
Are you taking some sort of a, I don't know. What do you do? Every day?

Rebecca 27:38
Yeah. There's a bunch of mast cell stabilizers and antihistamines that that helped to treat it. And since I've started the treatment for it, I don't have those attacks anymore. Thank God.

Scott Benner 27:50
Any injectables that help any injectables? Yeah. No, nothing. Okay. Okay, so yeah, generally speaking, what's your I'm just going to ask you a left turn question. What's your outlook on life?

Rebecca 28:06
I'm really like, I try to stay positive. And I try to hope that the like, I'm done, I've got my stuff. Up to

Scott Benner 28:14
seven. Right. So yeah,

Rebecca 28:16
we're not accepting new diagnosis here. And we're good. But I think that my outlook is, is life is hard. Like life, getting through a day is hard, like, eating anywhere is difficult. So I, I feel like there's changes that could happen that would make my life and people with type one and celiacs lives better. But the but the world doesn't realize like a how serious it is when we get gluten and how sick we get and then be how hard it is to know that your food is safe.

Scott Benner 28:50
Gluten is that you're like, of all the things you've listed. Is that your biggest concern

Rebecca 28:56
that? Well, it's not my biggest concern. I mean, I think type one diabetes is is sort of the most serious because it affects every you know, every organ system and it's lifelong. And you know, you're you're doing so much to stay alive with insulin and CGM is and all this. And I think that it's, it's gotten so much easier with the CGM than it ever was. And so for me, I feel like it's, it's, it's something that you can fit the pieces together like you. It's a puzzle and you've got to like, be aware of all the pieces, but it's something you can figure out or you don't figure out and you just correct and move on. But I think that yeah, I think it's something that with education, anybody can figure out it just takes it takes experience. It takes reading and listening and yeah,

Scott Benner 29:45
yeah. How much impact? Like do you work outside of your home?

Rebecca 29:50
Yes. So I am a therapist. I work I'm attached to a primary care practice in the city. because that I live next to and I have a small private group practice. So I do that one day a week, and then I am attached to this primary care practice. It's family medicine, internal medicine, and I'm the behavioral health provider for them. So I do I do that during the day, but you're in an office during the day. So on Thursdays I go in, in person and the rest of the time I see people on telehealth,

Scott Benner 30:28
how does that work? Yeah, for them, do you think it works?

Rebecca 30:31
So during the pandemic, behavioral health became sort of more modern, where we were like, Hey, we can do our job on the computer, though. I think that, you know, the choice has really been over the last few years to sit in an office with your the therapist is masked and the patient is masked. And the therapy world I don't think that's ideal. So, so most of us have been doing telehealth visits. So the patient, you know, we use a HIPAA compliant video link and the patient logs in and, and then it's like, we're sitting in the room together. And I mean, I do some things to try and make the time together as if we were sitting in the office together. But it's a little, it's a little weird, but I've gotten really used to, to helping people to make the best of the time and and make it as private as they can on their end. And yeah,

Scott Benner 31:30
that weirdness is Do you think that's more on you or them? Like, it's not something you're accustomed to? Because you've been doing it for a long time? Not that way. But do you think new people to it think anything of it even

Rebecca 31:40
I don't think patients give it much thought but I think it's because, like having been in the field and worked in the field. So like, if someone is sort of like, like, I've had like a guy sort of like sitting in bed topless with his tattoos and now he starts rolling a joint and I you know that it's all new, like the wild west of therapy where

Scott Benner 32:03
I go, Hey, push.

Rebecca 32:07
Yeah, it was like, Well,

are you rolling a joint right now? He's like, Yeah, like, Oh, we don't really encourage people to use cannabis during sessions. It's not really a good idea.

Scott Benner 32:20
Did he put it down here?

Rebecca 32:22
He was like, really? You care if I smoke this? Yeah, he did. He was like, Okay, I'll wait till later. But so you get you do get like an inside view of like, what your, what your patients or your clients are up to at home and you meet their pets and guinea pigs and

Scott Benner 32:39
rabbits. That kind of helpful for you.

Rebecca 32:42
Yeah, I mean, I love that. I love that piece of it. Like,

I've seen everybody's pets, you know?

Scott Benner 32:48
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I just it seems to me that like the knowledge that somebody would, like, while they know you're looking at them, like, say, like, I'm not gonna, like forget even the joint like just, I'm not even giving this my full attention. I'm actually doing other things during this. That That That part's interest.

Rebecca 33:06
Right? Right. Well, I think that there's a lot of that when people start. So I try to kind of set the set the pace as like, this is your time for you. So if you're holding your phone and washing your bathroom mirror while we're talking, that's that's you really not giving yourself the space and the time to sit and talk. So, yeah,

Scott Benner 33:29
all right. That's a that's something if this wasn't your job, if you I don't know had like some nine to five, grind, like where you went to a thing? Like how much do you think? Would this get in your way? All these things? So

Rebecca 33:47
I don't Well, I think that no, but I do think that I do have to bring my food everywhere. My own food I can't count on, you know, the food truck outside understanding my needs. So yeah, I mean, I've had jobs where I went to the office every day, and I did it. But yeah, it takes a lot of planning in terms of food and that kind of thing. And I feel like I feel like there's like the work bag and then there's like the medical supply bag. And then there's like all these rescue medications. If I were to get some gluten or I were to get some histamine reactions, I have like a separate kind of bag for all that stuff.

Scott Benner 34:34
Is the is the question where's Rebecca most commonly followed up with in the bathroom back in the day,

Unknown Speaker 34:44
no, no, I

Rebecca 34:46
don't know. I mean, I think that if anything, my family would say that I always had a stomach ache like I was always lying on the couch or on the floor.

Scott Benner 34:57
Just trying to let it pass. Where does that stomach ache? How I've been on your stomach is it in the lower part upper?

Rebecca 35:02
Um, it's like upper. I mean it's, well, it's intestinal, but it's also like your your stomach itself. And like, I think the small intestine I don't really know, but just the whole thing feels

Scott Benner 35:15
okay, you know, everywhere. But yeah, but yeah. Why did you want to come on the podcast? I

Rebecca 35:23
feel like there's a need for the the world to take the celiac really seriously and the world is getting it wrong. Like if you go to a restaurant they asked you, if you say listen, I've I have celiac and I'm gluten free and I'd like to order fish and steamed broccoli and they'll say allergy or lifestyle?

No, no,

it's autoimmune, but I just say allergy, you know, like, it's, it's serious. It's an allergy, but it's not an allergy. It's autoimmune. It's, um, it's this whole, you know,

Scott Benner 35:56
the lifestyle of question is the inference there is like, so it's not gonna hurt you. You're just trying to avoid it.

Rebecca 36:02
Right? Yeah, I mean, I get they're trying to figure out like, how serious how seriously, do we need to take this but but then that

Scott Benner 36:09
in first, there's levels of how, how well they handle it.

Rebecca 36:13
Right. And I think over time, what I've learned is like, I really just go to like two or three restaurants. And I don't go to the other ones because I just don't, I just don't trust and I've gotten sick so many times from a meal. And like there's no there's no meal that's worth getting sick. You know?

Scott Benner 36:33
Describe that for me. Like you go to a restaurant they give you gluten, you make it out of the restaurant or not even.

Rebecca 36:41
Yeah, so unfortunately, you make it out of the restaurant because like if we got sick, right, then they probably take it a lot more seriously, but it actually takes

Scott Benner 36:50
on the floor. Like gluten in the god.

Rebecca 36:55
I know. I know. Well, they they're like how are you feeling?

Are you okay? And I'm like, Yes, I won't know for hours. Yeah. So I think I had written you when I had just survived like this horrendous night going out for Mexican food and doing my whole spiel with like, I am gluten free. I will order what I am not picky. I just don't want to die. Like I'm not picky. I just want gluten free and they were like, well, we recommend these tacos. And I was like that sounds great. I bet that my husband was like, I don't know. I don't know. They look.

Scott Benner 37:31
They look like gluten. They look loony. Yeah, they looked

Rebecca 37:35
at me, they look like and then I did it. And I was like, oh my god, this is so much. And I was like, This is really

good. If it's gluten free, and he's like, I don't think it's gluten free. And I was like, I I went and got the bartender. I was like, Listen, are you sure this is gluten free?

He goes, I'm gonna go check with the kitchen again. So he came back. He goes, Yes, gluten free. I was like, Okay. And I mean, I had done my whole spiel, I had said to him, I have celiac. I had said to him, it's really serious. I had said to him, I really need gluten free. And if you can't do it, just tell me and I'll order nothing. I will have a glass of wine and just sit here and enjoy my night. But he was like, No, we can help you. We can do gluten free. And then it turned out it was totally not. They were both they were like soft wheat tortilla.

Scott Benner 38:21
They didn't even understand what gluten was.

Rebecca 38:24
No, I don't think so. And they probably thought it was fat

Scott Benner 38:27
free. Or, I mean, you have it all. I've listened. I've had that experience a half a dozen times my life. I'm like, Listen, my daughter has diabetes. She can't or she needs or whatever. And they go Oh, yeah, good. Okay. Yeah. They don't know what they're talking about. No one's talking about, like, so like, the people who know no, and everyone else has no reason to know and therefore, I don't know, like, now they have a name tag on so all of a sudden, Rebecca you're trusting them? You know, three hours now you're gonna bump into this this person at the grocery store, and you'll be like, Why was I listening to him? Right? Yeah, exactly.

Rebecca 39:02
Like, if there isn't like you don't know how educated people are, whether they know how to read ingredients. And like, do they know that barley has gluten in it? I'm

Scott Benner 39:12
gonna go no, no, it's so

Rebecca 39:14
it's hellish. Like, you can't, you can't trust. You can't trust restaurants. I mean, I would love to say you could trust a restaurant, but you can't. And so I go to like two or three different restaurants where I know they know gluten free. And they have like a number of safeguards in place, including a manager always bringing the food to the person who's gluten free and they say this is gluten free. So it's like that. You know, like I always want to hear whoever delivers my food. Here it is and it's gluten free even though I've already said hey, I need gluten free when they bring out the food I still want them to kind of like be like, Hey, this is the gluten free thing. And it has a little allergy flag in it you know that kind of thing? That's nice,

Scott Benner 39:57
like a bell but but more yeah Because, yeah,

Rebecca 40:01
there's like the flag, like you're special. And they and a lot of restaurants will do like a different shaped plate for the gluten free or the allergy. Good idea. Food. Yeah. So that, you know, just another safeguard, but but I just feel like overall like our society and our systems in place with going out to eat and also like hospitals and colleges, they don't, they don't get gluten free, right? They don't. So there's kids in college with, with celiac and getting really sick, because the staff in the kitchen don't understand. There's a lot of ignorance in hospital food prep, like, I worked in hospitals, like I used to work in the emergency room, in the hospital, downtown in the city I lived next to and there was a patient there with type one diabetes in celiac. And he had like this rash all over him, which was the the rash that goes with, with celiac, when you just don't follow the diet and you're eating gluten. So he presented with that, and he had a family member with him. And he had been in the ER for several hours. And one of the things I would do is the behavioral health person is I would ask somebody, like, have you had a meal recently? Are you hungry? Like before we start chatting, you know, would you like a sandwich or something? And I could see that he was he was type one and celiac. And of course, you know, I was like, hey, just by the way.

Scott Benner 41:33
All those things. Yes. Do you need Yeah, yeah.

Rebecca 41:38
No, but I always like if I ever meet somebody with both, I'm like, I love you. Did we just become best friends? Because this is so rare. And it's, you know, it's like its own thing. But, but even so this guy in the emergency room I was. So I got him a tray. And I was I was looking at the tray and it was mashed potatoes. It was some kind of meat and then the mashed potatoes had gravy on them. So he's about to start eating. And I was like, Can I just make a phone call about that gravy? So I called the kitchen and they were like, Oh my God.

Scott Benner 42:11
Yeah, gravy made out of flour that

Rebecca 42:13
gravy. Yeah. So I was like, Don't eat that. That rash isn't gonna get any better if you eat that gravy. No. So we, you know, swapped out the tray and no gravy. But, but that shouldn't happen. And if that were me, if I were the patient, I would be vomiting in two hours. And I would need So Fran and IV fluids. And if my blood sugar were to go low while I'm vomiting then then it's life threatening, you know? Yeah,

Scott Benner 42:39
no, of course. It says here. Celiac disease is a serious genetic autoimmune issue. We know Bob about damages about one in 133 Americans for about 1% of the population has celiac disease. Yeah, except I think it's more. I wonder how many people don't eat gluten and don't realize they don't need it? Yeah, you know, I have

Rebecca 42:57
friends that sort of like, we're like, I, I'm gonna give up gluten because I don't feel well when I eat wheat. And then they they to develop, like sort of an intolerance, you know,

Scott Benner 43:09
after you after you don't have it for a while.

Rebecca 43:11
Right after you don't have it for a while. I think the gut is like, Oh, thank God. Interesting. Yeah.

Scott Benner 43:19
Is there? Is there any? Not that there would be? But is there anything that I'm just I'm just trying to get you to? Uh, no. But is there anything that you can take that helps with it?

Rebecca 43:27
So not digestive enzymes, those don't work? There really isn't? So

Scott Benner 43:35
I didn't, I didn't want people to have the idea that it was like, Oh, I could just take something when I'm eating it.

Rebecca 43:40
Like, yeah, no, there's nothing so like with lactate or lactose intolerance, you know, they have this pill. Now, with with celiac, there is nothing that's going to help except getting it out. And so like if you accidentally ingest it, and you know, you've just ingested it. It's just a waiting game until you explode one direction or the other or both. And then after that, you're you're good to go. I mean, you're not good to go. You're, you feel like you feel like but you have to get it out. And then once it's out, you can, you know, start recovering again. Plus,

Scott Benner 44:15
so beyond stomach pain, is there other stuff like muscle joint soreness, tiredness, is there anything else that comes with it?

Rebecca 44:23
with celiac? I? Well, I mean, my joints got gradually better. It wasn't. It wasn't immediate, and it wasn't. It wasn't actually that dramatic, but when I think back to like how bad my joints were, and now how they are now. They're 1000 times better. You know, like, my knees don't hurt except if I'm hiking. Or, you know, I'm old though.

Scott Benner 44:46
So well. It says here. If you have celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, changing your diet may help either ease arthritis.

Rebecca 44:53
Yeah, I do believe that. I mean, I think I think overall like we in our kind Tree has changed because of the way that the fields and the crops have been treated with. I'm gonna say it wrong, but glyphosate. So I think that, you know, the roundup that is used on fields to kill weeds and insecticides and so forth have changed. Changed wheat and wheat itself is has been changed over time. So I think there's a lot to that as well.

Scott Benner 45:25
What's left to eat.

What's left to eat? Steak

Rebecca 45:29
eggs. I don't say don't read me normally. But I was thinking of adding it back last time. My husband Maybe I'll add red meat back.

Scott Benner 45:37
Go crazy. Rebecca have a steak, right. Yeah,

Rebecca 45:40
I think I might. But I do chicken. I do rice. And we have chickens, actually. So we have eggs from our chickens. So we eat a lot of eggs. And I do dairy. So I love dairy. I eat a lot of yogurt and cheese and eggs.

Scott Benner 45:59
Let me just shift gears here. Yeah, what goes into keeping your own chickens.

Rebecca 46:04
It's really fun. Actually, we did this during the pandemic. So I mean, you know, like, during the pandemic, it was like, the world is very weird. Let's do something to distract ourselves. So we, my son wanted to get chickens. And I was like, Yeah, let's do it. So we got some little hatchlings. And so they have a little coop, and a little chicken run. And yeah, they just sort of bop around and they're cold hardy. So they do fine in the winter. And, and they lay eggs every day. Pretty much.

Scott Benner 46:40
Is that where that movie title came from? Chicken Run? Oh, yeah. Chicken Run. Had no idea. I thought it's because they escaped.

Rebecca 46:47
Yeah, that's their little like space to like, hang out during the day. The run is less secure. Usually, for most people. They have like the place where the chickens can kind of hang out during the day, but at night, they're supposed to go to bed and go up to their coop.

Scott Benner 47:01
I'm just trying to say Rebecca, that chicken run was the double entendre and I didn't realize it. Yeah. Okay, what about what I hear about rats and mice coming to where the chickens live? Is that a problem?

Rebecca 47:14
I suppose it could be. I mean, you have to kind of keep up with like, shoveling the coop and having a way to, you know, you need places to put things where does

Scott Benner 47:24
the poop go? After you clean it up?

Rebecca 47:25
We have a pile? Yeah. Yeah, we have like a place for it. And then yeah, and then over time, it it. it mellows out. And then we use it for fertilizer. So we mix like leaves and, you know, other kinds of organic matter.

Scott Benner 47:43
How often do you call someone in the house? That chicken? That's got it? Oh,

Rebecca 47:47
no. That would be mean to

Scott Benner 47:51
me the chickens? I think it just means like a baby, right? Like chicken. Yeah, but I'm just saying like that has to be in your head. You're always looking at it.

Rebecca 47:59
You know, it's really not.

Scott Benner 48:02
That's fine. How are the eggs more tasty.

Rebecca 48:04
They're different. I think they're a little different. Like they seem a little bit like creamier, I guess I would say. And the yolks are brighter. But we have different kinds of chickens, we don't have all the same breed. So it's kind of cool, because some of the eggs are speckled, and some are more like white and some are brown and some are a little bit bigger and some are a little bit smaller. Are they a daily effort? Uh huh. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, for some, especially during the winters, chickens lay less in the winter.

Scott Benner 48:34
But I mean, you have to interact with them clean water feed stuff like that every day.

Rebecca 48:39
Yeah, but we have like, I mean, there's people that have like automatic water and feed dispensers. And then they actually like, automate the door at night. So once the chickens go up to their little coop area and go to bed, like they sit on a little bar, they just press a button and then the coop door shuts so they can Fancy that. Yeah, like you know, like nest but for

Scott Benner 49:03
once you're all in on these chickens financially. Oh, God,

Rebecca 49:08
I don't know. 1000s Yeah, because the feed like we do organic feed, we supplement it with Omega three flaxseed we do. oyster shell we

Scott Benner 49:20
you know, are the chicken love our chickens gluten free. They are no they're not

Rebecca 49:24
are they are they're not. And the weird thing is like, I was putting straw down because it was snowing and I was just like, oh, we should put some straw down for there. You know, so their feet don't get cold. And I was looking at it. And I was like, Oh, this is this is

wheat. So I you know, put a mask on and then I was I went and got my son. I was like you should do this. I'm not doing it.

Scott Benner 49:48
Oh, look at you just trying to go shove on that chicken. Right? Like no, you know, mommy can't do this one. Sorry. So I'm gonna put let's say, I don't know I'm looking at the chicken run the chickens. I'm gonna say four. A brand just for fun. Okay, and then what? Oh, absolutely. What's a dozen eggs cost? At this point? Five bucks? Six.

Rebecca 50:07
Well, I'm not buying um, so I hear they're really expensive, but I think yeah, like five maybe it's make

Scott Benner 50:12
it. So after you get 800 dozen eggs out of these chickens, you're gonna break even. Yeah. How long do you think that's gonna take? How many? I mean he gets from them a week.

Rebecca 50:26
Oh, it really varies, but we probably are getting right now like five or six every day. Okay. All right, but when they age they they lay less. Fewer.

Scott Benner 50:41
Thank you for saying fewer Hold on a second. Teaching people right? So yeah, we get a couple 1000 eggs a year out of them. Are you the people in the neighborhood who were like, Hey, we have eggs if you need eggs?

Rebecca 50:52
Yeah, we drop them off actually to people's houses like we have extra we dropped them off like the Easter Bunny. Yeah, we like to just, you know, surprise people have some eggs.

Scott Benner 51:03
You're like Peter Cottontail. Yeah, break into their house as though Rebecca you knock on the door. Well,

Rebecca 51:09
we just sort of like leave them on the front steps usually nice. And then they bring the cartons back and sometimes they throw money in the cartons so it's really cute. Or they put like a gift card in the carton. So it's really cute. That's lovely.

Scott Benner 51:21
You're gonna pay No, you weren't gonna pay for these chickens in a decade. No problem.

Rebecca 51:27
No what though? I love them. I love these chickens. Like,

Scott Benner 51:31
my dog hasn't paid me back one red cent. Don't you worry. Nothing right now.

Rebecca 51:36
I have a dog too. And she just like snores and she's Yeah.

Scott Benner 51:40
If those dogs laid an egg once in a while, that'd be alright with me. Anything really? I don't know. After themselves dollar gag learn how to vacuum anything would really be

Rebecca 51:51
right. Right? Yes, they should learn how to vacuum this idea of

Scott Benner 51:55
raising your own chickens. Here's why I'm so interested. You're the third person in a week? Who's brought this up?

Rebecca 52:02
Oh, really? Yeah. Because it's, it's really pretty easy. And then you have like your own food source.

Scott Benner 52:10
You should get chickens that lay like steaks. That'd be amazing.

Rebecca 52:15
Well, I don't know if you know this, but people actually kill their chickens and eat them. But I don't but like some people do.

Scott Benner 52:22
Well, doesn't that defeat the purpose? Again? The eggs from them? Yes, yeah. So you should, you should just walk out there and tell them like, Look, you keep making these eggs. And everything stays good between you and me. And what about what about? Is there an age where they can't produce eggs? You said as they get older? They slow down?

Rebecca 52:41
Yeah, so they do reach an egg? An egg ending?

Scott Benner 52:45
Is that when you rotisserie them?

Rebecca 52:47
No, I would never I just think like I would free range them and a hawk would come along and that would be that you know,

Scott Benner 52:55
eat your chicken then if you ate your chicken. Well,

Rebecca 52:58
I don't want to eat my chicken. I love my chickens. I just think you know, I don't know. I probably just keep feeding them and buying them things and you know waiting free range for them to

Scott Benner 53:08
free range sounds like abandonment in case you're wondering what I heard. I heard like, we'll just leave the door open and whistled. Goodbye. Wait, so wait a minute, how? What age do they slow down?

Rebecca 53:26
I should know. But I don't know. I think probably around like four or five. I'm guessing I think I think that's what I read. But yeah, I think they do slow down and then I think most most egg people just love their chickens and keep them around you know and hope for like a peaceful natural death

Scott Benner 53:46
you know have like a heart attack maybe scattered Right? Or they die in their sleep. But a car accident maybe. So we're just gonna say how much property Do you have?

Rebecca 53:58
I think we have like I think it's like point eight it's

Scott Benner 54:01
almost an acre almost. Okay, so it's not like a crazy amount of property or anything like that.

Rebecca 54:05
No, we have like a wooded portion of our yard so the coop is like in the woods so it's like sheltered a little bit actually not sheltered like a tree fell on our coop, we had to rebuild it.

Scott Benner 54:16
I was looking at the list of autoimmune diseases you have and you said a tree fell on the coop and I thought of course it did.

Rebecca 54:21
Of course it did. I not lucky. I know. This is the thing like, yeah, I don't have good luck

Scott Benner 54:29
with other things you do just maybe not with these things. All right. Okay. Do you ever make you think you're getting other animals? Have you ever, like sat around and said like, we should get just one cow?

Rebecca 54:40
Yes. Well, not cows. Um, no, I don't want cows. But um, but little pygmy goats. I definitely would like some goats. I think goats are like a natural like next step from chickens.

Scott Benner 54:50
Is your property completely fenced in?

Rebecca 54:53
No one actually, we're not even I don't even think we're zoned to have chickens.

Scott Benner 54:59
Don't So I won't tell if you don't tell.

Rebecca 55:03
I thought we were like it was it was the pandemic. I mean, I feel like a few things can kind of just happen. Because

Scott Benner 55:12
Isn't it amazing how many things we say that come from chickens like, like chicken or pecking order, talk of walk, stuff like that. Like there's all this like colloquial raising that comes from like raising animals,

Rebecca 55:27
birds of a feather

flock together, and they totally do. So like, they hang out by species. Like even if they were born in different years, they'll hang out by species. So like, yeah, yeah, they're a little bit like, not intermixed. I don't know.

Whatever that word is. They don't they don't they like to hang out with their people like, Oh, you are. You have red feathers. I have red feathers.

Scott Benner 55:50
A feather flock together? Exactly. They're like that. I'm just saying. Yeah, a lot of lot of things here. Right. Over back. Is there anything we haven't talked about that we should have?

Rebecca 56:04
Well, I mean, I feel like there's a lot of things that could get talked about, but um, for instance, good food labeling, like,

Scott Benner 56:13
Oh, you're pissed about the gluten thing? Yeah. And I hear you. But here's the bigger problem, man, I for a second. Yeah. You can't make people care about something they don't care about. You can't make a company care about something that they'll say, Well, we're not in that business. And you know, like, and if you make me do this, then I'll go out of business. Or I can, you know, go ahead and show me the three people you want me to fire so that I can do the testing? That's, you know, what I mean? Like, it's, everyone's gonna have some sort of a reason why they don't want to, or can't, or have not even thought of doing it. And yeah, and so when you're wanting every 133 people, maybe, how do you? You know, I mean, it would seem to me that the only way to make this happen would be through like government. And I don't know how the hell you do that? Because like, otherwise, you're just you're, you're saying out loud, it would be nice if people would pay attention to what I need. And yeah, I don't know how you get anybody to do that.

Rebecca 57:13
I guess it's more

like, if it's not a big lift to say like, your cream cheese is gluten free, because it is like it naturally is like, Why not just put it's gluten free? I

Scott Benner 57:28
mean, I feel like it's because if you because if you say that it has to be

Rebecca 57:32
right. And I think food companies don't want to be accountable. Right? Like, let's

Scott Benner 57:36
say it's accountability, then if then if one, God knows, I have no idea how cream cheese is made. But if something falls into the cream cheese, and now suddenly, it's not gluten free, and you shoot yourself to death or whatever ends up happening, like something really terrible. Vomiting. Yeah. And something really bad happens to you. And then you go, Oh, I found out later there was cream gluten in my cream cheese. You know, now they're open to liability. That's why That's why they won't say they don't want to be liable for it.

Rebecca 58:04
I mean, no, but I feel like they do need to kind of represent what what is in the package. Like if I, I bought 100%, cacao the other day like cocoa powder. And it said it was 100%. Cacao said ingredients, cocoa. And that was it. But then it had a disclaimer saying it may contain all this other stuff. Yeah, but the title of it was 100% cacao. So is it 100%? Or isn't it? I guess it's not 100%? Because it

could contain all these other things that they're listing like nuts and wheat. Soy? Yeah. Like, what is it?

Scott Benner 58:45
I don't know. But you don't want to get your nuts in the chocolate. Because then yeah, you got it, then all the people that nut allergy have a problem. Right? So you have so so 100% Cocoa is a marketing thing. Yeah, it's not true. Well, it is as long as nothing else got into it. But they're saying, but we don't know what may or may not have got we tried really hard. But there might be this and that.

Rebecca 59:08
But then they might as well just be like, well, it might have staples. I mean, we do you use a stapler?

Scott Benner 59:13
Sure. Don't you think that happens?

Rebecca 59:16
They must write? Of course. 100%.

Scott Benner 59:19
No, but there's a number of red hairs that are allowed. And yeah, yeah, you're worried about something else like this? You know, it's just that's I think that's my point is that there's no way to say for sure. And so most places aren't willing to say it. And the places that are willing to say are in that business, and then they charge you double for the food. Yeah, so if you want the cocoa to be 25 bucks, I guess it could be gluten free. But 132 of other 133 people don't give a crap about that. And that's why it isn't. I mean, that's to me not to be harsh, but like that's the problem, right?

Rebecca 59:54
Yeah, I think it is a problem. I mean, I guess I just think it is food labeling has to be better if they, if they're listing ingredients. They

should. They should know what their ingredients are. Yeah. But I guess it's a lot to ask.

Scott Benner 1:00:10
No. I mean, listen, I don't disagree with you at all. I'm just trying to think of reasons why it doesn't happen. Yeah. And why six gluten free hamburger buns cost $95? Because I'm assuming that that's part of it.

Rebecca 1:00:22
Yeah. You know what, I don't even care about that. I'll pay whatever. I like I'm over it like, Yup. You eight bucks for a loaf of bread? Yes.

Scott Benner 1:00:31
Do it. I mean, honestly, the heart here is that. I mean, how many times a day do you eat? And how many times a day? Do you have to wonder, is this the thing that's gonna make me sick? Right. And that's all right. Yeah,

Rebecca 1:00:44
that's the bummer. And that's, that is the thing is like, we could go out for a nice dinner and hope that it's a nice night, and or it could be a complete disaster will end up in the ER on the IVs. And so Fran, and, you know,

Scott Benner 1:00:59
yeah, no, I mean, I'm not. You realize I'm not. I understand, like, I know what you're saying. And I know, yeah, I just I'm trying to figure out like, why is it that hard? And I, I think that's got to be part of it. I thought what you said was really interesting about how we just changed and how, like, you know, do you have a gluten allergy? I'm sure you do. But like, is that because something's riding on the gluten? And you know, something that's killing? I don't know. Yeah, no idea, something in your body that you need to process gluten?

Rebecca 1:01:31
Well, I think, I mean, just on the wheat thing, like they've taken the germ and the brand out of wheat. And then they fill wheat with like, these synthetic vitamins and minerals. And then they call it we know, so like, we we used to have, like the germ and the brand left in the whole kernel. But that's not the case anymore. With the, you know, the way they produce wheat as a grain. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:02:02
that's to do some what you were saying with how, and I've heard about this and other places to be. And we just talked about it. Actually, recently, I just did something with a regenerative farmer. And so the the soil is being stripped of nutrients every growing season. 100% Yeah. And there's, there's concern that we only have like, I forget what it is, like 60 More growing seasons, and some soils or stuff like that. And, and the other ones that have already been stripped free, they just they dumped manmade, nutrients into the soil so that something will actually grow. Because if you planted there are places right now, that are farms that if you planted something and didn't subsidize, the soil was something nothing would grow.

Rebecca 1:02:43
Right, exactly. Because it's soil should be like a little ecosystem. And it's no longer that it gets used up. Yeah, it gets used up and nothing healthy can grow.

Scott Benner 1:02:56
Yeah. And then they start adding stuff, and that stuff gets into your food, and then eventually, we all run to the bathroom after we eat.

Rebecca 1:03:03
Yeah. Well, yeah. And I do think like, there's peptides, and we that cause endocrine disruption. So there's, I think we itself is problematic at this point. Crazy. For most people.

Scott Benner 1:03:19
It's crazy. I mean, it's not it makes 100% sense. Like the stuff that you know, food is, you know, how everything goes into our body comes through food, mostly. So it's food and you know, drugs and alcohol. That's pretty much what people put in themselves, right. And so whatever's riding on that is having an impact on you, and then you think of it is just you, but then generationally, things change. And then generationally, there are problems. And before you know it, we know, you know, there's autoimmune issues that run in families, and, you know, even like alcoholism sometimes runs in families. And, you know, who knows how all that? I don't know. But it makes sense to think that it starts somewhere and it builds momentum as you're going. I'm sorry, it sucks. I can't imagine. I mean, honestly, I've tried for an hour to like, put myself in your position of like, every time you get food that you can't be, but I can hear your voice when you're talking about like, you know, I tried to buy cocoa Can I not just be sure it's just cocoa and like there's a real, like, dire sense to what you're saying. And, and most people don't, I mean, most people don't think about that, and don't think they have to but, you know, in the end, we all should care about what's in our food.

Rebecca 1:04:33
And what kind of sucks is like when like even doctors don't kind of help. So if a doctor says I'm going to put you on this antihypertensive medication, and then you take that prescription to the pharmacy, and I'll say to the doctor, like can you write on the prescription must be gluten free. So she well, I'll go to the doctor, you know, making sure that everything is is good to go on. prescription. But then when I get to the pharmacy, the pharmacist, you know, she knows me by name. We're like, best buds at this point. But but she still say, Yep, I know it has to be gluten free. So she'll try and call the manufacturer. And if she can't get ahold of them, she gives me their phone number and I call, but then I call and I'm talking to like this company and their their facility is in India. And to the best of their ability, they'll say, we're pretty sure there's no gluten ingredients, or there is no gluten ingredients in the medicine. But we can't guarantee that it's gluten free because the facility itself isn't India.

Scott Benner 1:05:42
The facility is not gluten free, perhaps.

Rebecca 1:05:45
Yeah. Right. And of course, it's not. And then like, do they have the same standards in that country for for washing? The, the belts between manufacturing, you know, yeah, I don't know, I like I haven't studied that. But but so like, every little medicine change, or anything that normal, normal people do with medicine, and that kind of thing. It it's this huge process.

Scott Benner 1:06:10
And eventually, though, there's a breaking point in everything, which is just, it's just human failings at some point, either somebody doesn't care or doesn't do something correctly, or doesn't, you know, or adult doesn't know or whatever. And eventually, you're gonna have things slip through. Yeah. I mean, honestly, it's terrible. It's just, I just don't know what to do about it. Yeah, you know, I know. So I mean, because what are we talking about here? Like, you know, is every pharma company going to open up a gluten free place where they make their meds? And you don't I mean, like, is, I guess what some of them probably do. Right?

Rebecca 1:06:47
Well, I think that a lot of the producers of medicines are now realizing they can't use wheat sourced fillers. And they've stopped doing that. So I think a lot of medicines used to have like, stabilizers or fillers, and they don't so much anymore. So I don't know, if there's been a change. It kind of seems like there has I mean, just from my own phone calls to these places, being like, um, it's this thyroid medication. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:07:13
yeah. Do you use tiersen? Because of that, sorry, what was that use? tierrasanta. For your thyroid for your T for

Rebecca 1:07:20
No, I just take Synthroid levothyroxine Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:07:24
because I know we get my kids used here. Arden uses tiersen I think. Yeah, both the kids used Harrison because it's like the cleanest form of the medication. Oh, so I'll have to look that up. Good luck getting your insurance to pay for it. Even here this is from the FDA is they're gluten free medications. The vast majority of oral drug products either contain no gluten, or virtually no gluten. So firstly, which means so which is it? Which is it is there might be gluten to them? That's that's what it's gonna be. Is Tylenol gluten free? There's a whole like rabbit hole. You can go down here. Oh, yeah.

Rebecca 1:08:00
Like, you know, ibuprofen like the liquid gels. I had a headache the other day and I was like, oh, did I look this one up? Dammit.

Scott Benner 1:08:09
God, toothpaste. Do you know there's often gluten in toothpaste?

Rebecca 1:08:15
In toothpaste? I'm learning something. I never even thought about toothpaste. Did you

Scott Benner 1:08:19
know there is often gluten in toothpaste? It's because Gluten is a nice sticky protein that helps toothpaste stay well, a paste corn and grain based starches have long been the best way to fix it and stabilize toothpaste. Okay, for most people, this is not a problem that says same little thing at the end, every one. Every one of these days. Yeah, every one of these statements has a sentence at the end. It's like, you know, virtually, or for most people, it's not a problem. But then but maybe that is part of what you're fighting against is that I mean, it's similar with like, type one diabetes, right? Like, why can't you get anybody to take you seriously when you're like, I really need a diet drink. When you get my drink. Make sure it's diet. And they're like, and you say because I have diabetes? And they're like, Yeah, whatever. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. I have no idea what you're talking about. But okay, I'll just not go okay. So no, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, well, I have the chickens. I know right? I love them. Yeah, you can always just go talk to the chickens if things get overwhelming. Do you think I totally do? Do things get overwhelming?

Rebecca 1:09:26
It is overwhelming. I get overwhelmed like I do. I mean, it's like if I pack for vacation, I'm like, Okay. Like, you know, there's like the diabetes stuff which is enormous. And you know, like I'm on a T slim and like the little like the charging cable like that little charging cable like sometimes I forget to like pull that out of the wall and then I'm like, Oh my God, how much battery do I have? But anyway, so yeah, the diabetes stuff and then like packing my own gluten free stuff and then all the rescue man occasions in case I get sick. And the list of my medications, and you know, it's just it's a lot. I think it's a lot. And I feel like it could be easier if like doctors were educated about the difficulty of finding out about medications being gluten free or not. And it could be different if, you know, the staff that worked in hospital kitchens knew that they were, you know, they were really important in whether somebody gets sick or not. And I feel like, you know, if you're going to produce food, know what's in it. Yeah. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:32
I know, it's a lot to

Scott Benner 1:10:33
ask. No. I mean, listen, it isn't it isn't. Right. So it, you know, and for anybody who doesn't have whatever problem you're talking, I forget gluten for a second. Like, if we I think what you get stuck with is, is that if we all stood up and made a list of everything that's really important and necessary for us, then, I don't know, would commerce stand still? Would nobody make food? Would everybody go? I mean, if you're gonna put those that many regulations on me, I can't make this. Like, I think that ends up being the bigger problem. And that's why it's up to communities to try to figure their way through things like this and and get chickens. Yeah. And buyers buy yourself a chicken. Right. All right. Rebecca, I appreciate you doing this very much. Thank you. Yeah, this

Rebecca 1:11:17
is fun.

Scott Benner 1:11:18
Did you have a good time? Yeah. Excellent. That's excellent. I got to say COC in the middle too, which was fun, too.

Rebecca 1:11:24
Oh, my God. I didn't hear that.

Scott Benner 1:11:25
I totally. did. I slipped the COC by you. I said cock of the walk. Oh, that's the saying about chickens. Do you want to get a hold on a second? I know. I know. My chicken sayings. Yeah, I mean, there is a lot. It's someone who dominates others within a group is the cock of the walk. Oh, I know what I'm talking about. And that's talking about a chicken a male chicken. Right? Well, that's

Rebecca 1:11:52
a rooster. Yes,

Scott Benner 1:11:54
but what a cock is a rooster? Is that what you just said? Yeah, that's a rooster. Can you just say it for me? Rebecca? No, you don't want to

Rebecca 1:12:04
that's fine. A cock is a rooster.

Scott Benner 1:12:06
Thank you for it's a male chicken. And is a female chicken. No, no, no. Wait. Well, female chickens are females and roosters are not chickens. Holy crap is that they're two different animals.

Rebecca 1:12:20
Well, roosters are chickens, but they're I'm kind of out of my depth here. But I think that like

I think that male chickens are referred to as roosters.

Scott Benner 1:12:30
All right? Do we have to figure this out before we go? Difference between a rooster and a chicken? Oh my god. So many words. There are so many words on this page. A male chicken is a rooster. A female chicken is a hen I have that right. Unlike the female chickens the roosters are known for their cockadoodledoo during dawn. roosters are grown mainly for their meat and fighting really. cockfighting is well known and practical in many parts of the world. Female chickens are new or reared mainly for eggs unlike other chickens are rooster has a thick comb across the flesh on the head. We know that sounds like the rooster combs are more red and prominent than other chickens. Roosters have more stamina and strength than a female chicken. That's odd. Yeah, I guess you want your car to be strong and be able to really, like stand up for a while. Right? A rooster has bright feather colors when compared to chickens. roosters are known to be sociable around humans, but are known to be aggressive among their own kind.

Rebecca 1:13:30
Yeah. Interesting. Totally. That's the pecking order. They're like so mean to each other. Mm hmm. But they do they have I mean, I hate to say this, but like chickens have personalities.

Scott Benner 1:13:42
So do you think the word that is used colloquially for men? gentled is genitals Excuse me? No, no. How come I couldn't pronounce that is from the way the roosters act?

Rebecca 1:13:55
Yeah, I think it's probably like I do I think the roots are probably, you know, when you think about slang, they probably came from right like thinking about the the rooster and like the rooster does certain things like is is very dominant to the to the other chickens and is protective sometimes too.

Scott Benner 1:14:16
I think all this is teaching us is that we let men name roosters. I think that's what's going on here. There's no There's no way a lady came up with this. Like there's no way like a lady was like I'm in charge of giving roosters and other name. I'm gonna call them this. Yeah, I don't think it works that way. No, I don't think so. I think we're all lucky that hens aren't called vaginas. What do you think of that?

Rebecca 1:14:37
Yeah, that's lucky. Lucky.

Scott Benner 1:14:40
Rebecca, when I listened back to this, I think I talked around. I believe I used all like the right words here. Like there's nothing that I haven't said anything dirty here.

Rebecca 1:14:50
Yeah, no, I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. I think you'll have to edit out a few

Scott Benner 1:14:55
CoCs Yes, for sure. Yeah. Oh, isn't that interesting? All right, I'm gonna let you go. Can you hold on for a second? Yeah, thanks. A huge thanks to Rebecca for coming on the show and sharing that fantastic story with us. And we want to thank Dexcom dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Get yourself a Dexcom G seven, or G six with my link. Let's also think the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juicebox. You can get your test strips and your meters all at my link. Those strips may be cheaper in cash than you're paying right now. Through your insurance. Go check it out. Contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. I want to thank you so much for listening remind you to find the private Facebook group click on the links in the show notes when you need the stuff. Support the podcast any way you can. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.