Scott Benner 3/29/22 Scott Benner 3/29/22

#654 Ball of Anxiety

Kara is the mom of a young type 1. She's here to talk about her challenges.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 654 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's episode of the podcast I'll be speaking with Cara. She is the mother of a child with type one diabetes who has a unique perspective about anxiety and type one. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Are you a US resident who has type one diabetes, or a US resident who is the caregiver of someone with type one? If you are, it will take you fewer than 10 minutes to fill out a survey at T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox that will help people living with type one diabetes. It also supports the podcast when you finish the survey, head over to t one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. Join the registry take the survey support people with type one.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. Head over to contour next one.com forward slash juicebox get a look at that little meter that does so much Contour Next One. If you're looking for the diabetes pro tip episodes of the podcast, they begin at episode 210. They're also available at juicebox podcast.com, and diabetes pro tip.com.

Kara 2:01
My name is Kara. We live in Penticton, British Columbia, Canada and my husband have two kids sleep by and Keon and Levi's six and he's our type one diabetic.

Scott Benner 2:17
When you were saying where you lived it cut out a little bit, but I heard British Columbia. Is that enough? Yeah, we're in Penticton

Kara 2:23
Penticton. Yes, We're originally from Vancouver, but we moved to Penticton, which is like five hours away from Vancouver.

Scott Benner 2:33
How do you make a decision like that? You look at the map and you think what name sounds really ridiculous. I'm gonna go there.

Kara 2:40
Yeah, it was actually after Levi was diagnosed, and we just wanted like a simpler small town kind of life. So yeah, and then my parents are also here. So that's kind of

Scott Benner 2:55
you move closer to some people to Okay. Yeah, exactly. Originally.

Kara 3:00
We're originally from Vancouver.

Scott Benner 3:02
Okay, so your parents found this place and you kind of followed them?

Kara 3:06
Yes. Yeah. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 3:09
I want to start with that if you don't mind what? Sure what precipitated the move.

Kara 3:16
Um, I, we were kind of always thinking about moving away from kind of like the city life like both of us had long commutes. And then when Levi was diagnosed, it just really solidified that we needed to be home more and just have kind of an easier slow paced life. And just like our our hostel hospital that leave I was went to was, like, maybe an hour and a half in traffic on a good day. So just knowing that link where he goes now is like five minutes down the road. And

Scott Benner 3:58
yeah, there's traffic in Canada. Yes, there. Sorry. I learned something new every day. I know. I know that people probably think I'm just at this point, leaning into the idea of teasing people from Canada, but I'm not you said there was traffic. I was like, huh, wow.

Kara 4:16
Yeah, yeah. No, it's It's like a full on city,

Scott Benner 4:21
Vancouver. Yes. Also a major exporter of American television.

Kara 4:27
Yeah, it's like Hollywood north. I think they call it

Scott Benner 4:31
Have you ever been an extra on something?

Kara 4:33
No, but it is pretty common. And there usually is like, parts of different streets shut down for movies and commercials and stuff.

Scott Benner 4:44
Okay. I remember one time I interviewed Victor Garber, who has type one diabetes as an actor. I interviewed him in between shooting a television show that he was making at the time and he was in Vancouver. Oh, right. So yeah, but you're not there anymore. None of this really matters. Yeah. Would you describe where you're at now as like in the middle of nowhere or is it just a smaller place?

Kara 5:09
Yeah, it's just a smaller place like there's maybe 30,000 People in our town. And then it's sort of the bigger town in the area. So it's like small town but not too small.

Scott Benner 5:26
30,000 people Yeah, that's not that's not huge. It I mean, I think I live I think I live would it be nice if I knew I was gonna say like, the the population in my towns maybe under 15,000. Okay, even know how many square miles it is? I don't imagine it's much. It's interesting. I like the idea. I often dream of moving somewhere a little farther from people.

Kara 5:49
But yeah, it's been good. Yeah.

Scott Benner 5:52
So how old is Levi now? And how old was he? When he was diagnosed?

Kara 5:56
Levis? Six. He's almost seven. And he was diagnosed at three.

Scott Benner 6:03
Okay. That's a while. He so he's coming up on four years. Yeah, I guess so. Do not think about it.

Kara 6:13
was trying to think the other day how many years it was, but Yeah, almost four years.

Scott Benner 6:20
How old's your other child?

Kara 6:22
He's two. Oh, you

Scott Benner 6:23
just had him recently? Yeah, gotcha. Okay, so you you kind of got through the beginning of the diabetes thing and then just kind of got back to your plan your your family plan.

Kara 6:35
Yeah, we found out I was pregnant, I think like a month after he was diagnosed. I wasn't exactly planned. Like it would have been nice to have a little bit more time but

Scott Benner 6:49
no more freakout time when you didn't have all the hormones running around maybe? Yeah, exactly. That definitely makes sense plus your side job of skinning Wallace's or whatever it is you do up there.

Kara 7:01
making maple maple syrup. Yeah, it

Scott Benner 7:03
takes a lot of effort, I would imagine. So yeah. So it was his diagnosis, like out of nowhere, or do you have other autoimmune stuff in your family?

Kara 7:13
It was kind of out of nowhere. But we do have some auto immune stuff in the family. And some like type one diabetes, but distant, like my great grandfather. But it was never really on our radar. He didn't have anyone close to us that had it.

Scott Benner 7:35
Yeah, I used to be your your answer used to confuse me when people would say like, No, I was it was completely out of the blue. But yes, there's a lot of type one in our family. But I understand that idea now that really no one believes that this is going to happen to them.

Kara 7:50
Yeah. And I think we never really asked if anyone, like I would never think to ask if any of our great grandparents had diabetes. It just wasn't relevant to us.

Scott Benner 8:02
I was there any other autoimmune in your, in your, in your family, your husband, yourself and your two children?

Kara 8:09
Um, my mom has some thyroid stuff. My grandmother had sclera Derma. But that's kind of it.

Scott Benner 8:18
sclera Darmowe? Yeah,

Kara 8:21
I don't know too much about it. I just know it's like an autoimmune

Scott Benner 8:26
type of localized scleroderma, a group of autoimmune diseases that may result in changes to skin blood vessels, muscles, internal organs. Disease can be localized to the scanner involve other organs as well. symptoms may include areas of thicken skin stiffness, feeling tired, poor blood flow to the fingers or toes with cold exposure. Wow, that's interesting, did it? Do you know did it impact her life terribly?

Kara 8:51
Yeah, she had to have like her joint three point replaced slightly in her hand. And then she just always like she had nerve pain. And I don't think there's too, they know too much about it. But she had a lot of like, different symptoms that they attributed to it. So

Scott Benner 9:12
it's interesting. You did you did you know her? Well, or?

Kara 9:15
Yes. Yeah, we were really close. I lived with her for a few years too.

Scott Benner 9:19
Did it shorten her life?

Kara 9:22
Um, I It's hard to say like she also had lung cancer. So that probably didn't help but I think the Scleroderma was in there as well.

Scott Benner 9:34
Okay. Yeah, that's kind of fascinating. I'm looking at it now online. Just teaching myself that's really interesting. Okay, so your son's diagnosed. You living in Vancouver at the time? Can you walk me through what happened?

Kara 9:50
Yeah, so our whole diagnose going to the hospital experience was really awful not because of Levi but because of the hospital in times of care and our whole process going through that. Levi since been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD because of medical trauma. And then he's recently diagnosed with ADHD as well.

Scott Benner 10:24
What leads you to get diagnosis and that what's going on in his life that makes you say, this isn't? Right.

Kara 10:31
Yeah, so, um, he every like in the hospital when they had to do an injection or a finger poke. He would act like like his arm was being chopped off, like he would scream and fight and kick, and it would take him a really long time to recover. And the staff just told us like, this is normal. He's young, he'll eventually get used to it. But like months and months later, it was still still happening at home like we would have to hold him down. Usually would take two of us he like broke so many needles are scratched himself with the needle.

Scott Benner 11:18
Pulling away and resisting. Yeah,

Kara 11:21
just like every muscle in his body with fight against getting, like even the finger pokes. It took like months before he was like, okay to do that. Yeah, and he had like, really bad night terrors. And even just us walking towards him, he would kind of jump and be like, What are you doing what's in your hand? They're like, any trust he had towards adults, or medical staff was completely gone. Yeah, and it just seemed like this is not normal. This is not getting better. It's, it's getting worse. So

Scott Benner 12:03
how we kind of gone for before you looked into it.

Kara 12:07
Um, I'm a bit in the hospital, we asked like, this seems a little bit more than what we would expect. And then we came home, we kind of kept pushing this and saying, like, it's not getting better. And we are eventually referred to a psychologist. But they were at the hospital where he was diagnosed, and even just pulling into the parking lot. It retriggered everything for him. And the psychologist wasn't able to do their assessment because he was just so elevated and wouldn't even go in the door. And so I think the psychology

Scott Benner 12:49
actually jump in the car and meet you for a maple Longjiang or something and just do it at nothing. What the hell?

Kara 12:56
I know, that's what you would think. But we had we realized that we kind of had to adapt to their schedule and their agenda and Levi, what Levi needed wasn't really considered.

Scott Benner 13:14
Got a good experience overall. Hey, can you talk a little more about the impact on you and your husband, having to like restrain your son and all the other things that went through that, like, how did that build up on you over time?

Kara 13:33
Yeah. I mean, obviously, it was heartbreaking. And I remember just getting like the injections ready, like feeling this dread. And one of the things that they would tell us is that if you're nervous, he'll feel that and so try and just stay relaxed and don't react to him. So we tried to do that. But yeah, it was hard. And I think one of the things is, as his parents, we were his main source of comfort. But were also the main source of re triggering him and causing all this trauma. So he, there is a shift in our relationship for sure. Like the trust that he had is of being his mom and dad, I think waned a bit.

Scott Benner 14:31
Yeah, so first of all, I don't know enough about the psychology of small children to know if treating them like a skittish horse is the right way to approach if you stay calm, he'll be calmer. Yeah. Did that work at all? No, no, no, no, no, you weren't able to. Hey, we're just hanging out buddy. Everything's fine. I'm not holding a syringe. But prior to this, anything I mean, I realized He's He's super young. And so it's difficult to like, But was he like skittish before this? Or?

Kara 15:07
No, not at all. Like he is, like, Adventurer kid, like just go all the time. No fear, no shyness. So I think that really like there was a huge change in him. Like that hit us like this is this is really affecting him Did anything

Scott Benner 15:27
happen in the hospital that was like crazy out of line? Like did a like a clown with weird makeup in the room at the time or like there's there's something that they stick him a ton with? You know what I mean? What they have trouble finding his veins was? Yeah,

Kara 15:42
like. I mean, not really. But kind of like when they did the IV, he fought them a lot. And so they had to wrap them up in a sheet so that he couldn't flail around. And I think there was probably three or four nurses holding him down. And then one of them was trying to get the IV and so that kind of, I think, like, set the tone for the rest of the hospital visit.

Scott Benner 16:14
He just had a real adverse reaction to that happening.

Kara 16:18
Yeah. Like he saw the kind of like the needle come out and was like, No, this is not happening. And then it kind of escalated from there.

Scott Benner 16:28
So you said he had an adverse reaction to the two of you because he starts relating you to the care. Did you ever have a third party who wasn't a doctor with somebody else? Try to do it to see if it? If he was anywhere, I'm trying to figure out like what you could have done back then. I don't imagine there was much.

Kara 16:45
Yeah, and he was he actually only wanted me to do it. Because like, he needed that comfort. And I think, even though I was the one doing it all, like I was also like, mom, so if anyone was gonna do it, he referred me to. And it kind of still is that way with his pump and his Dexcom like, he usually only wants me to do it.

Scott Benner 17:14
Present day does he still fight and squirm or is that mostly over?

Kara 17:21
It's way better. He is on anxiety medication, which has really helped. But he's still I mean, compared to where he was, it's full 180. But like, we try and do it when he's sleeping, or it's like a bit of a thing. Like he has to be alone, he has to have a few minutes to like pick where it's gonna happen. And he needs a little bit of recovery time afterwards. But it is way better than it was for sure.

Scott Benner 17:52
You or your husband or people in your family any anxiety in the family.

Kara 17:58
Yeah, my side of the family is is pretty riddled with anxiety and depression and like I've dealt with anxiety my whole life so and, and kind of have like, my attitude has always been like, just deal with it. Like I've been to counseling for many years and stuff. So I think that that's probably why I recognized it and Levi as well that this isn't just him being scary like this something a little bit more.

Scott Benner 18:30
So first of all, you've moved me off of Canadian rodeo onto to riddled with anxiety for the episode title. So excited about Canadian rodeo, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. But so you you take medication for anxiety?

Kara 18:50
Yes, I have, like, on and off. Okay, since I was I don't know, like a teenager.

Scott Benner 18:56
So now this is asking you to suppose but do you think if it wasn't the diabetes, something else would have brought this out of him?

Kara 19:04
Yeah, maybe? I don't know.

Scott Benner 19:07
I mean, riddle. Riddle. Riddle makes the assumption that everyone's got to, like, you know, I mean, is there somebody in your family that you all look at and go how is this one not having any anxiety? Or does it? Is it really I'm laughing at you laughing trying to think of a person in your family who's?

Kara 19:26
Well, I mean, my it's mostly my dad's side that we're all a little crazy. And my husband like he is just always like, he's the good at suppressing everything and just sort of like marching on. Yeah, so I mean, maybe it's hard to say probably it's

Scott Benner 19:50
impossible to say I've asked you a question. There's no answer to I just wanted to see what that's all.

Kara 19:55
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised but but before the diabetes I wouldn't say he was like an anxious kid.

Scott Benner 20:03
But this lit something up in him. Yeah. Is there a plan to take him off the medication at any point? Or do you think this is a long term? situation?

Kara 20:16
Yeah, so the problem is that he still is pretty young. And like he goes to a place therapists pretty regularly. Any he asked to kind of go through the trauma that's happened. But because the age that he's at, that's really difficult, and it takes like a really long time. So our hope is that as he gets older and kind of can have more perspective on what happened and why this had to happen, and all of that. But until then, we're just sort of gonna keep him on it, and slowly work towards that.

Scott Benner 21:03
So you can move them to weed when he's a carrier like I don't mean to like do you manage with any recreational drugs?

Kara 21:13
No, I it just makes me more anxious. Really?

Scott Benner 21:17
Well, lucky. Yeah.

Kara 21:20
Yeah, well, or not? I don't

Scott Benner 21:21
know. That was sarcasm. I know. It's not for everybody, but some people report great. You know,

Kara 21:31
I know I'm jealous. Like, have some have a great sleep like, that sounds amazing.

Scott Benner 21:37
But did you try it and then just go Oh, great. This made it worse.

Kara 21:41
Yeah, I've like we, because it's legal in BC. So like, there are weed shops, like every corner. We will like go into like some of the fancy ones and try some of the gummies and stuff. But every time I just like, I hate it. Okay, so

Scott Benner 21:58
I am not an aficionado. And it is to say that I've literally never tried it. But from what I hear smoking gives you a different situation than eating it. Because of the way your body metabolizes it. So yes, yeah, try a pan or something at some point. Yeah. Yeah. But being serious, do you see that as, like, let me ask you like, how to think about this. If, if I got headaches constantly, and I had a baby and the baby started getting headaches, I would find it to be incumbent upon me to figure out how to manage the headache for myself so that I could pass that to my kid and tell them hey, maybe this do you have that feeling about all this? If you feel like it's your job to figure this out, so that they can have relief?

Kara 22:43
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I like that's how I feel about my own mental health. Like, I need to be really good. So that I can be there for Levi. And then I think just having like a better understanding of it, so I can I help them when it when it starts to come up.

Scott Benner 23:06
Your father give you any advice. Sorry, say that again. Your father. Did he pass any advice on to you?

Kara 23:15
Yeah, my dad's actually a counselor. So he's, he has lots of good advice and tips and stuff like that, but it's also just so different in kids.

Scott Benner 23:27
Okay, yeah. situation. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, an argument can be made that, uh, if I walked into a counselor's office, and I said, How are you doing? Because I'm kind of anxious. I might be like, I'm gonna find somebody else. It's like a, it's like, it's like, it feels like I'm hiring a roofer with the leaky roof in his own house. Yeah. No, it's not fair. Actually. It's meant to be stupid, but I just I do think it would, it would strike me if I was in that situation. I might be like, huh, my counselor seems a little jumpy. But, so his so your dad's advice. I thought maybe your dad's advice was like, sweetie, they make a makeup whiskey and the, the, you know, I don't know, like, you know, because people manage this stuff in all different ways. They manage it with food, they manage it with anger, they manage it with liquor, or they manage it with weed or harder drugs even. Because it's no joke, right? Like, can you give me an example of what that like how it can cripple a day? How sorry. So is there are there examples that you have from your life? That would explain to us what anxiety can do to a day in your life?

Kara 24:41
Um, like for me or for Levi?

Scott Benner 24:44
Well for you, and then we're gonna talk about Levi after

Kara 24:46
Okay. Um, yeah, like, I always feel like if I'm having an anxious day, it's like, you're in a crowded room where everyone is like talking are yelling, and you just can't like, think clearly. But then you're trying to like get all the stuff done, you need to get done.

Scott Benner 25:09
So a noise in your head that doesn't allow you to focus on any one thing.

Kara 25:14
Yeah, or just it's just this like kind of background buzz like intrusive kind of. Yeah, I wish I had a word.

Scott Benner 25:26
That's a pretty good. Do you have ADHD as well?

Kara 25:29
No, no. Okay.

Scott Benner 25:31
So that's how it manifests for you. And then does that just make things? And the Putin does that roll into depression ever for you?

Kara 25:38
Yeah, for Yeah, for sure. And then, when I had both kids, I had postpartum depression. So there's definitely like a hormonal aspect to that.

Scott Benner 25:50
Yeah, no, I mean, obviously, plus the plus the realization that you have to take care of these kids and pay for

Kara 25:56
a little Yeah. And then diabetes.

Scott Benner 26:00
That some smartass rolls around to let you know what college costs are. I mean, you guys. That's University. I mean, but know why you have to be so fancy about it. So this is something for you. How are you?

Kara 26:12
I'm 32.

Scott Benner 26:15
Okay, so then how does the anxiety impact Levi's day?

Kara 26:21
Um, he gets very, like, rigid and stuck. Like he won't like if he has to go to school, he won't want to go to school, you won't get dressed at school, he, like won't kind of follow what the class is doing, or the teachers doing. Like sometimes they'll even just go like sit in the corner and ignore anyone trying to engage with him. And then he also gets like, pretty severe night terrors. Mostly where he thinks that there's somebody coming to like, give him a poke. And so he'll like, try and push you away or try and hide or.

Scott Benner 27:10
Yeah, so he hit does he wake up screaming or how does that happen?

Kara 27:16
Yeah, he'll wake up screaming. Yeah. And then you come in and he gets like, he's aware of that. There's a person but it's he's still dreaming. So he thinks that you're somebody trying to get him.

Scott Benner 27:27
Okay. Yeah. Plus, you're the person who actually does give him the pokes. So yeah, exactly. Have to hire a third party calming person. Just for that. I was thinking I hear my wife yell at night sometimes. Do you think she's coming? She thinks I'm coming to poker. Oh, probably. A different anxiety hair, isn't it?

Kara 27:49
Yeah. Totally.

Scott Benner 27:53
Like, gosh, this poor i Oh, God, I'm gonna curse I get Jesus this it's a lot, you know? Yeah. Yeah. The ever get a break? Does he ever have days where it doesn't impact him?

Kara 28:08
I'm like, we try we, we try and kind of given as much normalcy as we can. And activity is a huge stress reliever for him. So like we back on to basically for us that just kind of goes on forever. So he spends a lot of time out there and running and friends. And so we kind of try and do that for him.

Scott Benner 28:38
I say, so, so that you think that that's being in an unconfined space that helps him? Is this? Is it being away from people like what do you think about just being outside? Do you ever I mean, I don't know how you might not know but what do you guys,

Kara 28:55
I think, when he can be like in control of what he's doing. So like he's outside and he has this whole thing going on in his head of what he's doing and he can like he likes to lead if we're hiking, he'll be at the front and he thinks kind of he's like the expert on everything. He'll explain like, this is this kind of mushroom. And this is this kind of bird and

Scott Benner 29:25
I don't know at all I have to get him a podcast. Yeah, exactly. So is How old is he now? Seven? He's almost seven. Yeah. Is he not ready to be put in charge of his pokes and his broads and things?

Kara 29:39
Um, yeah. So he, he can do a finger poke. And he we actually started looping a few months ago. So in those few months, he's become a lot more independent.

Scott Benner 29:54
And help him does that alleviate his anxiety like taking you the rest of you out of the situation?

Kara 30:02
Um, I don't Yeah, I It's hard to tell. I think he's feeling a little bit of, like the burnout from it, especially at school. Because he knows that he needs to be responsible and kind of like on all the time, so we've noticed when he comes home like he's just doesn't want to engage with the diabetes stuff.

Scott Benner 30:23
Yeah, I don't think any of them do. But yeah, by any of them. I mean, any people with diabetes? Yeah, yeah, I have a question. It's gonna sound accusatory it's not so don't read it that way and answer it for me if you can.

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Have you ever been in a situation where your anxiety makes you put something on his act? Put something on him that doesn't exist? Do you ever get so anxious that you're like he's he's not okay. But he the your husband goes he looks fine to me. Just like no does that ever happen? Or does your husband not have the nerve to say that? Yeah, you do live in the woods and you probably know how to use an axe so I might not say much to you either. But

Kara 33:25
yeah, um I don't know like my I really like internalized my anxiety like it's it's very like physical for me so I'm not like worried about a particular thing. I just like feel anxious.

Scott Benner 33:44
physically sick. Sorry. Will it ever make you physically sick? Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, stomach issues. Stuff like Yeah,

Kara 33:53
yeah, not for a while but yeah in the past good for sure.

Scott Benner 33:58
Yeah. Vacation did you find that helped you?

Kara 34:01
Um, I yeah, I've taken probably all of them and haven't really found one that works. So

Scott Benner 34:12
all of them and yeah, nothing good. So SSRIs like intake uptake inhibitor stuff like that you you know you don't find much relief from

Kara 34:21
no and if I do it's like for a few weeks and then I it stops working so

Scott Benner 34:28
I'm almost afraid to ask this. I don't want me to ask a question somebody can answer me in a way that even shocked me but what what's your leading in the woods like what helps you?

Kara 34:39
Um yeah, I think just like trying to stay balanced and and everything like not, it's really easy to get burned out. So I try and like not take on too much like a sloth of why we're living where we are and Do you know that balance is really having fun and resting and doing work and parenting and all of that kind of stuff? But

Scott Benner 35:09
is there activity that makes you feel freer? Yeah. Can you not think of one or do you not want to tell me what it is?

Kara 35:20
I just I think it's just like a it's like, a bit of everything. It's not like a particular thing.

Scott Benner 35:26
Being in that place helps you more. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna bleep all this out. But like, I'm so worried that one day I'm going to ask somebody a question and be like, Hey, what did we beat your anxiety and someone's just gonna blurt out like, I gank the neighbors. It really, really calms me down, Scott. I'm so worried that one day somebody is literally gonna say something that I'm like, I'm not. You guys will know if I don't know how to answer something crazy happen. Yeah. I won't leave all that out later. Some people will just have to wonder what I said to you. But I do have like a genuine concern that one day something's gonna happen that I'm going to be like, uh, you know, I don't know. Yeah. So when you don't know how to answer, I'm like, she trying to talk around something? Or does she know?

Kara 36:14
I just don't think I have anything like that interesting that I do to help us just sort of like, the boring like, life balance thing.

Scott Benner 36:22
Well, listen, I think you're being a little dismissive because you guys made a big move. You moved yourself to somewhere else to support your mental health. That's a really big deal. And it's, it's thoughtful, because for no reasons. Who cares why, like that Big City Life of Vancouver. It's not right for you. I wasn't saying that sarcastically. Did my tone inflect sarcasm maybe I will. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but you know, like being in a more hustle bustle situation just wasn't right for you. And your job? Yeah, yeah. Are you a stay at home mom? Or did your job like switch okay to that?

Kara 37:01
Yeah. So I'm a, I'm a social worker I work with like, in mental health and substance use. But once Levi was diagnosed, like I've never worked full time, just because I have to kind of be around for him. And it's impossible to get childcare for a type one diabetic.

Scott Benner 37:23
A deer can't watch your children.

Kara 37:26
No, unfortunately, not.

Scott Benner 37:29
But I asked you a question that I asked of every mental health professional who falls into your category again, it's gonna sound accusatory, it is not. Why is there something about people who struggle with mental health that draws them to want to work in mental health?

Kara 37:46
Yeah, I think it's a bit of that. It's like, I love the science part of it. Like, why why people use drugs? Why, like, all that kind of nerdy stuff. And then I think just like, the stigma around mental health, and especially substance use, I've always been kind of, like an advocate and love sort of the political side of that. So it just seemed like

Scott Benner 38:15
fits for you. Yeah, but is there any feeling of like, if I can help them? I get help myself?

Kara 38:23
Ah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, because usually the people I work with like they're living on the streets and like ferry and trenched in drug use and that, so it's, I try not to see myself in that because you can go down kind of like a dark hole that way. Yeah.

Scott Benner 38:44
No, I worry about people who do your kind of work. Yeah. And I've interviewed a number of them. Did you ever hear the episode? Josh has all the fields? Yes. Yeah. Right. So and Josh has been back on since then. I've recorded with him. It's not out yet. I'm gonna tell you that the second time he came on was more emotional than the first time he came on. Oh, my God, by the end, you're like, Dude, where are you? I'm gonna come give you a hug. And it's it, but he's in that he's in that industry. And he, I don't know, like, there's part of me that just thinks like, Oh, my God, like, quit your job and go do something completely different and see if that doesn't help you. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I could be 1,000,000% Wrong. Please, everyone believe that. I believe that. It's just fascinating. You know, like to, I mean, you know, you have one conversation with somebody and you think I spoke with a therapist today who's depressed, or then you're a social worker and you have anxiety Your father has his situation like, you know, Josh described his life the way he did. And on and on and on. It's just really, I don't know people are fascinating. That's for certain.

Kara 39:50
Yeah, I think it's just everyone has their their thing. Like, I don't know if you could find somebody that's completely Lately, mental health free check could do that work? Like?

Scott Benner 40:04
You have to understand that we're all a little bit maybe,

Kara 40:07
yeah, yeah, I think you got it, you have to have gone there a little bit to get it.

Scott Benner 40:13
Where else you end up being me where I'm I'm basically on the verge of going, why don't you just stop? Which I don't think, personally, and this podcast has actually helped me a lot understand, you know, different psychological issues. But I would tell you that I don't have any perspective on it. So it does sometimes boil down into my head to like, just like don't do that then, which I realized, I realized isn't the answer. But it's an indication that I don't have enough depth of perspective.

Kara 40:45
Right. Yeah. I mean, I do agree that there is a level like you need to be solid. And you need to know what, how you're feeling and what triggers you and your boundaries when you're doing that kind of work. But yeah, I think everyone's at least everyone I've met in the field has at least some level of something.

Scott Benner 41:07
No kidding. Yeah, that's good to do. Well, it's like an incestuous circle them because don't therapists, the other therapists? Oh, yeah, we should just move you guys all to an island with

Kara 41:21
a tribe will be really self aware and healthy.

Scott Benner 41:25
You'll be really anxious aware people.

Kara 41:28
Yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 41:31
Well, I have a ton of say, even though nothing that I've said, but indicate otherwise, I ever have a ton of empathy for you like, because of the conversations I've had with other people. Yeah. It's just it's really something if I if you came into your office and described your situation, what would you tell yourself?

Kara 41:53
Ah, yeah, I see. I mean, I think I just have a lot of compassion for myself like this. It is hard. And so I think sometimes I do get in that, like, I'm not doing good enough has a one C is not low enough. Like he's, we could be parenting better. And so you know, just acknowledge, like, this is hard. And so just, like, do it with compassion and go easy on myself. And you? Yeah, you know,

Scott Benner 42:26
a few 100 years ago, you would just wander away from him and leave him in a cold place by himself.

Kara 42:30
Yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 42:33
That that horrible joke aside, people used to have 910 kids knowing that some of them wouldn't survive. And they did treat them as expendable if they if they proved to be too much or a problem in the family. Yeah, exactly. And that's how you ended up with I mean, is that where the term survival of the fittest comes from? I have no idea. But But it shows that in a short amount of time, as human beings we've gone from, hey, you broke your leg? Tough luck. Would you like us to beat you with a stick or just leave you? Wolfie. And two, we're taking people who have significant issues and trying very hard to shepherd them through an entire life, that that change has happened in just a few 100 years. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It feels like we're not up for it yet.

Kara 43:25
Yeah, I think I think our brain is still still a few 100 years behind, how we how we cope and deal with all of that.

Scott Benner 43:34
Yeah, we have these great goals and no tools for them. Mm hmm. You know, that's good, though. I mean, it's, it's good to have aspirational ideas for society, and realize that you're going to hammer your way through like I used to hear people say like, every time I turn on the news, something different eat me, don't eat me, bla, bla, bla, they can't decide. And the truth is, yeah, they can't decide because we keep studying people and then looking at things and men science expands. And, you know, on and on and on, we're still figuring it out. Do you buy into the idea that anxiety in a modern person comes from some degree can come from the fact that our lives are so easy that we don't have anything to worry about really compared to the way our brains and our bodies are built up, you know, run from wolves and you know, exist outdoors and stuff like that.

Kara 44:30
Yeah, I mean, for sure. Like, that's a whole fight or flight thing like we're running away from the lion but there is no lion. And I think like, we we don't get to like complete the stress cycle. Like we're always just stress we never have that relief of, of realizing you're free from the line and you can relax like we're just constantly like at one 100 all the time.

Scott Benner 45:02
Is that what you're that? Is that where your move was hoping to? To help with?

Kara 45:07
Yeah, part of it for sure. Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:11
Yeah, no, that's such a good point. Like, there's always, like, we're always on tilt, basically, right? From the moment you wake up, you know, like, your alarm goes off and you pick up your phone your phones, like, here's your first appointment, or you know, you have to be at work or then you know, you have to be at work and you have to take a shower and you got to get dressed. You have kids and they d those kids are going to get into a car and they're going to drive to school by themselves and you're worried they're gonna have an accident. And are they going to get to college and be in you haven't even like you mean like setup yet? Yeah, no. And then it just piles on and piles on and piles on when you get home. It continues. And I guess right up the pit. Some people are many people have trouble sleeping. Even. Because, yeah, so we are. We're basically like goldfish living in a frying pan. Like we're we're not right for our surroundings. Yeah, exactly. Oh, all right. I'm understanding. Yeah, what do I do care? How to make my life better?

Kara 46:10
But I know that's the golden question. I,

Scott Benner 46:13
I need help from you. What are you talking about? That's going to make you nervous. You're going to be like, right now I feel anxious because I can't help the guy from the podcast. But exactly. Is it um, so for Levi, I guess we're saying that 300 years ago, he would have been great, because we could have just set him out with a stick and don't like bring some food back you a little crazy person. And he would have he would have went out there and been like, ah, and done it probably. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. I didn't mean crazy person in a pejorative way.

Unknown Speaker 46:43
I got it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 46:44
Did you get it? Like, I'm Canadian, I can handle it. Yeah. Why did you want to come on the podcast?

Kara 46:54
Um, I just thought that, like, I haven't heard many parents come on, talk about the struggle with their kids diagnosed at a young age and how traumatic that can be for them. Because I just any of the comments or conversations were usually like older kids, and that transition and the teaching them and the responsibility, but I just hadn't heard the, the younger kids and like how scary that is, and how that can affect them going home in the months after that.

Scott Benner 47:35
Yeah. Have you ever heard me kind of brusque against the idea that kids are so brave and resilient? Like I always say, like, well, what's the alternative? Yeah, yeah, I know, people like to say they're like, Oh, my God, my kids so brave. I'm like, is he brave? Or is he seven? And there's nothing you can do about it? Because yeah,

Kara 47:52
and people say that to us all the time. Like, oh, you're doing such a good job. Like, the alternative is that he's dies. So

Scott Benner 48:01
you wander away from in the woods and just leave it there. But yeah, exactly. Yeah. There is no.

Kara 48:08
Yeah, like, we don't have a choice. So yeah, and I think too, like we really had to, like push to get any type of recognition that Levi was dealing with this a little bit differently. That like, we felt like we were the only people and like, this was something they've never heard of before. Like, it was many emails and phone calls to the hospital and the endocrinologist just to like, get them to consider that he might need extra support. should ever

Scott Benner 48:47
have to video him to prove it. You guys have cell phones right? Off the video or anything like that.

Kara 48:54
Um, I thought of that, but I just felt like it wouldn't be fair to leave. I like that's a really vulnerable moment for him.

Scott Benner 49:05
dehumanizing, right.

Kara 49:07
Yeah. Yeah, I just didn't feel like that was he would like that.

Scott Benner 49:15
Yeah, yeah. No, no, I appreciate that, too. I was just wondering how far you had to go to to get them on your side plus your health care systems different there. It was that part of the struggle?

Kara 49:28
Yeah, like I'm not sure how it would work in your situation. But like for us, you have to get you can't just go to a doctor, you have to get a referral. And like you, you have to, they're not just like giving out referrals freely like they have to really believe that you are needing the help. So like for us to get referred to the psychologist. It took like, a few months of constantly calling and emailing And just like being that squeaky wheel,

Scott Benner 50:03
do you think that they just thought that you were overreacting and the kid was just being a kid in that situation?

Kara 50:10
Have you ever? Yeah, yeah, I think and I. Yeah, I think they thought I was overreacting and that Levi would just be okay, that he would eventually get over it.

Scott Benner 50:24
I wonder, I wonder how much of them do they know what you do for a living?

Kara 50:30
Um, as few points they did, we actually had to get the social worker to come in when we are the hospital. Because we wanted to take Levi to the playground. And in kind of a subtle way, they told us if we did that they would take away Levi from us.

Scott Benner 50:49
Wait, wait, wait, slow down. When was this?

Kara 50:53
This was during our like Education Week,

Scott Benner 50:56
I said after diagnosis during the time, he said the hospital said, Hey, we're gonna roll out of here and hit the swings for a second like you can. But then we're gonna make him a ward of the state or whatever you guys have up there? Probably. Yeah. So we

Kara 51:09
have like the the ministry of Child and Family Welfare, I think.

Scott Benner 51:19
Sorry, is that a Harry Potter thing? The Ministry of Magic or something? What do you guys do? Your leaders? Yeah, it's

Kara 51:26
kind of it's kind of like that just a lot more depressing. I think

Scott Benner 51:30
your guy is too pretty. It's ruining everything. Yeah. You need a more grizzled person to run things you can't I get when your man pops up on TV. I can't go but a handsome guy. Like it doesn't. Anyway, so So the ministry of something or other like they were going to take your kid from you? Did they say that? Or did they just kind of like, I mean,

Kara 51:48
you say it directly, but they kind of, like danced around that idea. And the social worker said, like, we wouldn't take him away. But kind of like, if you do this, we're going to have to take steps towards that direction.

Scott Benner 52:07
If you do this, if you go outside to the swings.

Kara 52:11
Yeah, because Levi was like, panicking, scared that a nurse is going to come into the room at any moment and give him an injection. And we're at the hospital for like eight plus hours a day doing this education thing. And we're like, he just needs a break. Like we can one of us go out to the playground and they're like, if you do that, then we're gonna maybe take him away from you or put you down as like a non compliant parent or

Scott Benner 52:43
goodness. I thought Canadians were nice.

Kara 52:47
Yeah, so Did I what happened?

Scott Benner 52:50
That's a bizarre story.

Kara 52:52
Yeah, they're they're very rigid, like you have you had to follow kind of their agenda on, on how to do things.

Scott Benner 53:02
So maybe Canada's not as free as I think it is. Is that possible?

Kara 53:08
Yeah, I don't know if it's Canada, I just think it's like the the hospital and the kind of like, the

Scott Benner 53:16
carry, I think it's right for me to take your one experience at a hospital and pay for the entire country.

Well, what a valid statement from you, okay. I won't generalize Canada, which, in my mind is, is like permafrost with a tree in the middle. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, but that's a bizarre story. Like, I mean, that's an overreach in my opinion.

Kara 53:45
Yes. Yeah. They were, like, extremely rigid in how they wanted us to do things.

Scott Benner 53:54
How did you manage that? You just go oh, sorry. Okay, we won't go outside.

Kara 54:00
We eventually got permission to go out for like, 10 minutes. And that was like a huge deal. But it was hard because like, I was on no sleep. And I was like, still in shock that this was even happening. So I wanted to like push more and really, like, this is not okay, and everything, but I just didn't have it in me.

Scott Benner 54:26
Are you pregnant at that point, and don't know it yet.

Kara 54:29
No, I wasn't pregnant then. At that point, okay. No. But and then I saw it like, you know, a few months down the road, maybe I'll pursue this and, and write some kind of letter or something. But yeah, it just was like too, too painful, I think to go through and

Scott Benner 54:50
like when you have a bad experience at a hotel, and you're like, I'm gonna call tomorrow and then you're like, yeah, it was only $100.

Kara 54:55
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Scott Benner 55:00
Let the other people find the answer. No, but there's only so much you can do at some point, right? Like, there's so much energy and time. And

Kara 55:10
yeah, it just at that time, like we were so exhausted and like there was just no space for us to start this whole thing. Yeah. Yeah,

Scott Benner 55:22
I hear you. I mean, what is your what are your thoughts for his future? Like, what do you think's going to happen? Do you think he's going to be a kid who 14 1516 years old has trouble managing the things that he needs to do? Or do you think that you're finding your way through this?

Kara 55:43
Um, I that that is the worry that, like, we're always concerned that it's all kind of going to be too much for him. But I mean, at the same time, like, as he's getting older, he really is taking on a lot more responsibility. And he's very, like, proud of his diabetes. Yeah. And like, we're doing every like, he's going in counseling, and we anything we can to give him like this really solid base, as he's growing up. But yeah, I mean, that is a worry, we have for sure

Scott Benner 56:28
you're describing a life that seems a little untenable, first of all, and it also mirrors a person I'm thinking of that I know, listens to the podcast, who's whose child is, you know, maybe a senior in high school, that age has had diabetes for a couple of years, who has a lot of these similar problems. And he does become more difficult when they get bigger and stronger. And, you know, yeah. And they even think a little more clearly for themselves. Well, not so clearly, I guess. But, yeah. I mean, it might be a blessing that you found it about it so early, and you can get ahead of it. Because yeah, yeah, it's it can turn into quite a thing does he ever make you take his gear off? Like me? He's looping? Is he using Omni pod? Dexcom?

Kara 57:16
Yeah, his Omni pod index calm.

Scott Benner 57:19
He's never trouble wearing those.

Kara 57:22
No, he's pretty. He's pretty good with that. Like, I don't think he remembers not wearing at least his pump. He. He's just, it's just kind of always been there.

Scott Benner 57:35
Do they do that rapid eye therapy with him?

Kara 57:38
Yeah, that's it's hard. Because he's so young. But that's we're working towards that.

Scott Benner 57:45
Yeah, firstly. How far back do you remember being anxious?

Kara 57:52
Oh, like, probably? Forever. Like my earliest memories, I think. Yeah.

Scott Benner 58:00
Wild it is. It's really a wild statement to think of, especially like, you know, to think of you as a five year old, you know, being like, ABCD we got to get out of here, man.

Kara 58:11
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just always been been a part of, kind of who I am.

Scott Benner 58:17
That's great. So and you do manage? Okay, like you, if I asked you to quantify your life in on a happiness scale, or do you live well, with it? I guess is my question.

Kara 58:30
Yeah, for sure. i Yeah. i I mean, there's moments where I've struggled more than others, especially when my kids are born. But um, yeah, I think I do pretty, pretty good.

Scott Benner 58:44
Do any plans to have more kids? No.

Kara 58:48
Definitely not. No. We call diabetes like our third kid, because it just takes so much. time and energy. Yeah, and money. Exactly. And then both Levi and our other kid are just like, crazy, like, energy. Yeah. Well, yeah, full boy all the time. From like, 6am to 8pm 100% all the time.

Scott Benner 59:18
Like, you're just gonna look out the window one day, and they're gonna be like riding a squirrel chasing, like another animal or something like that. Yeah, like, Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. As your husband like that. Does your husband have a little bit of that like wild streak in him?

Kara 59:31
Yeah, yes, for sure. He's, he can kind of go on forever. Even Even he agrees like he could not handle another child.

Scott Benner 59:42
Another one. He doesn't want any more people like him running around. Yeah, exactly. How did you end up picking this boy with all this crazy energy?

Kara 59:50
You don't think about those things when you're first dating like

Scott Benner 59:55
to get you divorced. I don't want to ask you don't listen. Since God with hindsight, I see what you're saying, but think about the dorky kid who understood science and said, Hey, you're cute and gone that way. Yeah. It says what kind of work is your husband do?

Kara 1:00:14
He's a plumber. Okay,

Scott Benner 1:00:16
so he's got a he's got a pretty, like steady jobs as far as hours go. He could be home at a certain time to help you most of the times.

Kara 1:00:24
Oh, yeah. Most of the time it is. He does like service work. So it is some kind of depends on a day, but where we live like everything's five minutes away, so even if he is late, it's really not that big of a deal.

Scott Benner 1:00:42
I was super excited to hear your toilets. Sorry, I was super excited to hear that you had toilets. Oh, wow. Plumbing. Fancy.

Kara 1:00:54
Yeah, you should really, really come and visit and see for yourself find

Scott Benner 1:00:58
out that I look like I'm in Ohio when I'm there or something like that. Or just like no.

Kara 1:01:01
Like Vancouver is like Portland or Seattle.

Scott Benner 1:01:07
Wizard. Is it got the hippie vibe? Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah. That's the part of the country. It just makes you feel that way. I guess. Yeah, I was just in Seattle.

Kara 1:01:19
Oh, you should have popped. Oh, I guess cat because of COVID. But

Scott Benner 1:01:22
yeah. Oh, really? You still keeping us out?

Kara 1:01:25
Yeah, I think so. Are there some some type of rules? I'm not too

Scott Benner 1:01:30
sure. I listen, I have to go somewhere with some people pretty soon and I'm looking desperately for a way to get out of it. Yeah, these people are definitely gonna make me sick. But that's really something. Yeah, I mean, I was I only ever been there once. It's a very specific vibe. You're not wrong. And I get it. Like I would see why it was attractive to you. Yeah. And want to do and want to live that way. How was it work when you moved? I'm not joking now. But schooling still okay. Up there. You're like that stuff for your kids feels right.

Kara 1:02:11
Um, yeah. The, the diabetes stuff was school has been really hard. Just they do. They're like do not die care, but not really the managing it and steady kind of lower levels. Like they would be happy if he was, like, just rode high all day.

Scott Benner 1:02:37
He would be okay. That kind of thing.

Kara 1:02:39
Yeah. So we just pulled them out of public school. And he started private school this week. which already has been so much better.

Scott Benner 1:02:52
You guys are doing all right. This plumbing pays okay. Yeah, I mean, wasn't a euphemism for like Canadian mob or something like that?

Kara 1:02:59
No, no. Just close. Okay. Yeah. Well, you're making

Scott Benner 1:03:03
me think I should have become a plumber like, private school for the kid. It's not bad. Yeah. You're like, you're like, maybe not. I mean, is there a big pile of money sitting around?

Kara 1:03:16
No, no, the private schools pretty reasonable. So

Scott Benner 1:03:20
you're able to do it. That's nice. That's really great that you could find something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have anything? Like, is there anything I because I realize I don't know what I'm talking about in this like context that have I taken you so far away from what do you want to talk about? Are we getting through things pretty well?

Kara 1:03:38
Yeah, no, I have nothing I can think of that. I didn't talk about

Scott Benner 1:03:45
so you're thinking I'm doing a good job. Yeah, for sure. That's really what I was trying to get to target. You just, you know, you're doing a great job. Thank you. I mean, she's gonna make me work for my compliment. I mean, I know, I want to make sure that we're not skipping over anything, because I do find a lot about what you said. Fascinating. And I did find a lot about you. Interesting. And I know that's not what you were expecting when you came up. Yeah, yeah. But you I appreciate that you kept going and hung with it. How long have you been listening to this silly podcast?

Kara 1:04:17
Oh, man, like, pretty early on? Probably Probably around three years.

Scott Benner 1:04:24
Yeah. Figure out looping through this through me.

Kara 1:04:27
We did. Yeah. Yeah. And it was it was like, I remember the day that I found it because it was like you were seeing everything that we thought was how we should be doing diabetes. And we're getting all this pushback from the endocrinologist and the diabetes nurse and all of that. So it was like, Oh, my God, yes. Like, we're right. This is like we're not crazy. Like he shouldn't be high all the time. And

Scott Benner 1:04:59
yeah, No, yeah, that's excellent. So what did they have you doing? That's that seemed like wow, this isn't right.

Kara 1:05:07
Um just things like wanting his a one C like around eight and just not being as aggressive with the insulin.

Scott Benner 1:05:22
Have you bolusing like after meals?

Kara 1:05:26
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which that like with his school they were only allowed to Bolus after a meal so like every day he would come home super high and then crash out and it was just like a mess.

Scott Benner 1:05:41
So are you seeing better is his his panicky nature better now that his blood sugar's are more stable?

Kara 1:05:50
Yeah for he is a lot calmer with specially with the loop. Like in the night time we get this like super steady low numbers. And even just that I think he's sleeping better. We're not having to wake him up to do a juice or a correction.

Scott Benner 1:06:13
And that's good for you. Not just for him.

Kara 1:06:15
Yeah. Oh my god. It's like slept through the night for the first time since diagnosis.

Scott Benner 1:06:20
Oh, what's your husband dressed up too much? Because he's, he's a professional pipe player. By mistake. Third boy what you know, it's gonna be a boy, by the way, and he'll be as like, you know, energetic as the first two and then yeah, 100% What are you gonna do then? If the strap one of them do a bear and just see what happens? Yeah. Have you ever seen a bear?

Kara 1:06:43
Yes. When's the last time we have bears quite frequently?

Scott Benner 1:06:47
And still you don't move?

Kara 1:06:49
No. Bears are more like past like a raccoon or just bigger. We don't have we don't have like grizzly bears. They're like,

Scott Benner 1:07:02
Well, yeah, like, like Winnie the Pooh, like little bears. Or

Kara 1:07:06
we have like black bears. So they're like, medium smallish bears. They're not really aggressive. I mean, we wouldn't want to go pet it, but you can just tell it to go away. You know, run away.

Scott Benner 1:07:18
Yeah. That's what would happen. You don't think it would hear me crying and come kill me? No. Cuz I'd start crying. And I think it'd be like, I don't usually kill people, but this guy deserves it and then just come get me. Yeah, that's all they really eat honey or No, not really. No, that's disappointing.

Kara 1:07:40
I mean, I I mean, I guess they could if they came across them, but we don't really have like honey hives.

Scott Benner 1:07:48
Have you ever seen a bear walking with a sad donkey? No, never see a lot of what you see on television. It's not real.

Kara 1:07:54
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:07:56
Don't don't believe what you see. Bears are pests. Mm hmm. You've never once thought I will probably die at the hands of a bear.

Kara 1:08:06
No, never interesting.

Scott Benner 1:08:07
I would think that 24 hours. I would have anxiety. If I came to where you are. You'd be like, come up here. It's really common. I'd get up there and be like, no, no, I'm gonna die.

Kara 1:08:17
We do have like cougars and snakes. Like, so. There are scary things, but the bears are rock. Bottom as less. Yeah, we have rattlesnake.

Scott Benner 1:08:26
Yeah. Are you afraid of those? Yes. 100%. Right. See? Maybe you're not anxious. Maybe you're just being reasonable. Just think of that. Think like maybe if you move somewhere with some concrete on the ground, you'd be like, Ah, I'm probably gonna be alright.

Kara 1:08:46
We do have a house or not like camping.

Scott Benner 1:08:49
No, but I'm saying they think the snake could come in your house, right?

Kara 1:08:53
I guess so. But yeah, never really more like if we're out in the wilderness. I

Scott Benner 1:09:00
don't know. That seems like a lie that you're trying to trick me to come in there and being killed by a rattlesnake is what I

Kara 1:09:05
know. Like we were proper neighborhood and

Scott Benner 1:09:10
Scott, they come and get our garbage.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:13
Don't have a do.

Scott Benner 1:09:14
I don't have to burn it outside.

Kara 1:09:16
No, we have a garbage truck that comes once a week. Super

Scott Benner 1:09:20
fancy. Alright. I appreciate this. One day I'm going to I was gonna say One day I'm gonna come to Canada but that feels like a lie. So not going to say that out loud. Somebody did ask me to speak in Canada once and I think I was on my way to agreeing to it and then you know COVID And now, right? I don't think I'm ever going to speak in front of live people ever again. Yeah. Which may be fine when the the flying the flying is not fun. I don't I don't love that part of it. But if I was to visit Canada, I'm on the East Coast. Where should I try first?

Kara 1:09:57
Um, I like So BC is the West Coast. And the East Coast is like very far away. So we don't really like It's like California and New York.

Scott Benner 1:10:10
Alright, so I mean, I guess I got to just do the touristy thing and go to Niagara Falls or something like that.

Kara 1:10:15
I guess so I I don't really know. Like, it feels I personally wouldn't want to visit the east coast of Canada. It's a lot colder and um,

Scott Benner 1:10:26
are you about the bad mouth east coast of Canada? Go ahead. I those people just trash What are you trying to say?

Kara 1:10:33
No, it's just it's like a very different vibe there than in BC.

Scott Benner 1:10:37
I was joking. By the way, like I just okay, somebody from Manat. Manitoba, Manitoba Z's right.

Kara 1:10:44
Yes, that's like the prairies like very flat and not much going on. They're

Scott Benner 1:10:50
lovely people. Is my point. Like when I was at trashes I can go I was I was literally, I mean, I think it was obvious. I was joking, but I don't know if you all get the sarcasm or not. So sometimes, I mean, we're an hour into it. Now. You got to think that the only people left listening are people who are like, legitimately think like Scott's great. I mean, who would be laughed at this point? Yeah, but Okay, so you don't really know where I should go? No. Have you ever been to Alaska? No. Does that seem like a wilderness to you when you think of it?

Kara 1:11:22
Yeah, it's kind of like service very touristy. So I don't know if

Scott Benner 1:11:29
I interesting gentrifiers to go there. Yeah. See, is there a place that you think of, if I said, move to this place, and you would have the reaction that I'm having about where you live?

Kara 1:11:42
I'm probably like, Wisconsin, or like Utah, or something like that.

Scott Benner 1:11:50
Interesting. Wisconsin. Too cold.

Kara 1:11:53
Yeah, like cold and hot or like, little too conservative.

Scott Benner 1:11:59
Right. And Utah desert? No good for you.

Kara 1:12:03
Yeah, cuz it's like, that's a little Mormon.

Scott Benner 1:12:06
You have a lot of Mormon listeners. We cannot say anything, even a little judgy. about Mormons. By the way. Hold on a second. Let me just put up a disclaimer here. I love you guys. I don't know anything about your religion. But I love all your Mormon listeners. And don't listen to Kara. She didn't just not at all.

Kara 1:12:24
I just don't know enough about it. It would just be like culture shock.

Scott Benner 1:12:28
I gotta tell you the amount of people who I've interviewed who are Mormon who after done interview and say things about being Mormon that Oh, no, no, like, they would say, well, they're being recorded is those numbers are growing as well. Yeah, maybe you're onto something. Maybe you're not. I don't know, I just want people to learn about diabetes. So yes. My last big question, which I should have asked a half an hour ago is, does this anxiety impact? Levis blood sugars at all? Like, do you see issues with that?

Kara 1:12:57
Yeah, for sure. We see that quite a lot. Like if he's nervous or anxious, like he will just spiked up. And pretty quickly, too.

Scott Benner 1:13:09
Okay, so then I can see where the loop would be valuable because it's giving him insulin when he needs it. Whereas in the past, have there been times where you thought like, hey, his blood sugar is 130. But if I come at him to adjust that, then I might drive it up instead of down because the anxiety?

Kara 1:13:27
Yeah, I mean, yeah. You could have, right, yeah. And it's, it's always kind of a guessing game. Like, is he anxious? Is this like, just something D? Like, it adds another level to try and figure out what's going on.

Scott Benner 1:13:45
Okay, now, I would imagine, so the loop and algorithms has been valuable for you, I would guess.

Kara 1:13:50
Oh, yeah. It's been like life changing. Good.

Scott Benner 1:13:54
Good. I'm glad. What would you share as a onesie with me?

Kara 1:13:59
Right now? He's 6.8. Wow, that's really great. Yeah, and that was we were just doing loot for about four weeks when you have that. So I'm excited to see his next agency. Good for you.

Scott Benner 1:14:12
That's excellent. Well, I I really am impressed that even through all this, you just took the bull by the horns and figured out those management ideas. And it's not easy. You know, it's a lot of a lot of initial upfront work to get that thing set up. Mm hmm. Yeah. Good for you. And you. I mean, you you have a computer and everything. It's fascinating.

Kara 1:14:32
Yeah. computer and internet and Yep.

Scott Benner 1:14:34
Yes. You didn't have to plug a pine cone in anything to make that

Kara 1:14:37
work. No, no, just the regular plug.

Scott Benner 1:14:41
You know, I'm kidding, right? Yeah, yeah, but there's enough truth in it that it makes it tolerable. Is that right? Maybe maybe don't get you protecting Canada now. I had no trouble with taking a swipe at Utah but Canada. No, no, no, it's okay. Yeah, Is there anything left that we should talk about that we haven't? Oh, no, I don't think so. I really appreciate you doing this. Yeah. Oh, thank

Kara 1:15:07
you.

Scott Benner 1:15:08
Did your nervousness go away at some point?

Kara 1:15:11
No, but

Scott Benner 1:15:14
you have the same level of nerves now that you had when we began?

Kara 1:15:18
Yeah, I think so. It's just very intense. Like, I probably listened to you every day. So it's very strange. Hearing your voice reacting to mine. Just feels very like, surreal.

Scott Benner 1:15:31
You do have that feeling like people describe to me sometimes that I asked them a question. And it feels like they're like their cell phones asking them a question.

Kara 1:15:39
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:15:41
I'm sorry about that. That's okay. Is there anything I could have done to make you more comfortable?

Kara 1:15:48
No, I don't think so. It's just, it's just a weird thing like it. You're just like, your voice is a common thing in our house. So

Scott Benner 1:15:57
yeah, that's nice. I mean, that's very nice. Thank you. You should try some narcissism, because that would really help you get through. I did an interview yesterday for a different podcast. So I got approached by, I get approached by a lot of podcasts to be on podcasts. And I just I sometimes I don't even respond, but mostly I say, No, thank you. But I got one. And it was like, Well, I want you to be on the vagina blog podcast. And I was like, yes. I don't even know why you're asking me. But I definitely want Right, right. So I recorded an episode. And, like, I It's no matter what I told myself, like, as it was getting ready to like, I was getting ready to go on, I knew we were going to be connected in a second, like I get in my mind. I'm saying it's her podcast, not yours. He's gonna ask you questions, and you're going to answer them. And then she's going to decide when you move on to the next question. And then four seconds, I don't I just took the whole thing

Kara 1:16:53
for Oh, my God,

Scott Benner 1:16:54
I was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I was like, I don't know another way to do this, I don't think. But I was incredibly comfortable. And what I'm saying is probably psychologically too comfortable.

Kara 1:17:05
Right? Or you're perfect for the job you have? Well, that's

Scott Benner 1:17:09
a nice way of saying if I think I need about 10% of whatever you have, and you probably trust me, you'll need a couple of percent of what I have would balance your right out. So Right. Like, yeah, look, everything's fine. We're good. Yeah, yeah. Am I from a professional? Perspective? Am I broken? Or?

Kara 1:17:27
Um, I don't know. I, I'm not qualified to say so. But

Scott Benner 1:17:32
first of all, you're Canadian. Secondly, you help people. I'm saying you're qualified. You know, what I meant was, and I'm not going to push you into something you don't understand or don't want to talk. But I just meant like, Is there is there a point where, like, this should make me I've never felt nervous making this podcast once in my life. Right. But like, the first time where this time or if anywhere in between? If you said, if you told me that five seconds from now, I was gonna get off with you. And I don't know that today's show was gonna pop up in front of me and I had to talk about this. I wouldn't even like blink an eye. I'd be like, let me make another bottle of water. Yeah, you know, so I thought maybe there was something wrong with me.

Kara 1:18:13
No, I think you just found your niche.

Scott Benner 1:18:16
Yeah. All right. What's that I can't trust you. You're not afraid of bears, but the.

Huge thanks to care for coming on the show and sharing her story. And another thank you to the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Go to contour next one.com forward slash juice box to get started today, with the best little meter you're ever going to see. Don't forget to take that T one D exchange survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box looking for those diabetes pro tips. They're right there in your podcast player. They begin at episode 210. And you can also find them at diabetes pro tip.com and juicebox. podcast.com.

Not too much else to say I got some really great ratings and reviews recently on Apple podcasts. Thank you so much to whoever left those. I appreciate when you guys share the show with other people. It is how it grows. And you have my heartfelt thanks when you do that, whether you're telling your doctor or a neighbor or somebody you bumped into at the Costco what else? As support the sponsors, please there's links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at Juicebox Podcast comm to today's sponsor, and all the sponsors. I appreciate when you use those links very much. Oh, if you're listening in a podcast that please make sure you're subscribed or following in that app. And if you're listening online Consider listening in a podcast app they're free and they're handy I mean you got your phone everywhere so you don't I mean pretty easy it's pretty much all I've got I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast

#653 Step to the Jet

Janet is the mother of a college aged type 1.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 653 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today we'll be speaking with Janet. She is the mother of a young man who has type one diabetes, and he has recently left for college. Those things and much more will be discussed over the next hour. Please remember while you're listening, that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Have you taken the T one D exchange survey? It's AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. Your answers to simple questions which will take you I'm gonna say fewer than 10 minutes to complete. We'll help people living with type one diabetes. It also supports the show when you complete the survey. You need to be a US resident who has type one. We're a US resident who is the caregiver of a type one to complete the survey T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries G voc hypo Penn Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by touched by type one, Learn more at touched by type one.org Or follow them on Facebook and Instagram. Touched by type ones mission is to elevate awareness of type one diabetes raise funds to find a cure and inspire those with diabetes to thrive. So that's it whenever you're ready.

Janet 2:11
Okay, I just start talking.

Scott Benner 2:14
This is my favorite part where people uncomfortable tried to introduce themselves. Just Just tell me, tell me whatever you want me to know.

Janet 2:22
Okay. Okay. My name is Janet. I am a military spouse of the been married for 25 years. And 14 moves in 25 years. So that's fun. My son. Leo has been diagnosed with type one he was diagnosed just about a year ago. Well, actually a little over a year ago. I don't know what else to say now. He is we're empty nesters. This time around. We were living in Texas when he was diagnosed. And then we got him all set up in college and then we moved north. So we're now in Ohio. Two kids in college and now we're trying to figure out this whole empty nester thing.

Scott Benner 3:04
Did you get married in 1996?

Janet 3:07
I did. Oh,

Scott Benner 3:09
I was married. 96 is the only reason I know that because I've also been married for 25 years. Okay, how old are you?

Janet 3:15
I am 49. Wow. Yeah, we can come like friends in high school we

Scott Benner 3:22
could have been, and with the fine exception of you were apparently nowhere near me. And but I'm just uh, we were at a wedding this past weekend. And they did some sort of a dance where married couples dance, and they they kind of whittled you away by how long you were married, which I think is a fairly common thing at weddings. And we got to the end and there were three couples left. I was still dancing. I was like, Oh, my God, I'm old. The people who beat us were much older than us. So I was like, alright, well, I guess that's what I'm shooting for. Is that my goal? You know, so it should be you think right. I have to ask you a question before we started about the diabetes stuff. Yeah. Okay, is the empty nest stuff scary.

Janet 4:10
It you know, it's just odd. It's just like, you know, for so long your schedule is built by these, you know, you're sitting in bleachers, or you're driving or you're going to some activity or arranging some activity. And so now all of a sudden, we have to kind of build our own schedule a little bit and so and then the constant of you know, stalking your children when they're, you know, five states away and wondering what they're doing and so we're getting used to it in some of it's really fun. Like my husband went on a TDY which is military version of a business trip a couple days ago, and I'm like, Hmm, I'm just gonna buy my plane ticket and join them because I can't Yeah, so I've never really good Good Goods and positives and but also a little weird.

Scott Benner 4:58
Yeah, I I found myself, I'm beginning to lean into it. Now, even though Arden's just in high school, but school went back and she's very active and things that are happening at the school and she drives now, which is amazing. And you know, so she's sort of in and out of the house and doesn't need me for anything, you know, related to her waking or bathing or anything like that. And I'm just like, last night, it's like midnight, and Kelly's gonna go to bed. I'm again, pretty soon. I don't have to record till noon tomorrow. And so it's like, you know, a little bit. I watched a little something, I fell asleep. I slept later than I usually do. I was like, huh, is this but it's gonna be this isn't bad. Although my imagination tells me that at some point in the next couple of years, Kelly's going to kill me or kick me out of this house.

Janet 5:41
You're gonna need a different hobby. It's my expectation. She's

Scott Benner 5:44
gonna be like, Oh, wow, look at him sleeping while marking. So anyway, that's, that's pretty cool. Is your husband staying in for the I mean, he's obviously a lifer. But how long does he keep going?

Janet 5:56
Well, at this point, the Air Force will tell us, we were kind of at that point where, you know, if the, the job he's either offered and we can say, You know what, nope, that's not for us. Or, how about this? And we say yes, let's go. Well, it's worth another couple. Couple years. So we are at the, at that point where it's kind of a mutual decision between the it's kind of hard to explain, I guess. But I guess we are waiting, you know, for the next job. And if it comes, it comes and if it's not, okay, thank you for your service, you know, kind of thing. So we're at that point.

Scott Benner 6:35
So he's at the point where they may offer him something new that thing, maybe it's someplace else where they may just say we were paying you way too much money? You've been here too long get out of here?

Janet 6:45
Well, no, actually, it will. I mean, we will move if he does get offered another job. And next job, it will be at another location. You know, we don't know how long we'll be here. It could be one year, it could be two, it could be three, we don't know. Such as such as the state of where he is right now. So the the next job? Oh, it's just gets really weird. When you're at his point of his career, you know, the guy becomes really tight up at the top of the pyramid, you know, so

Scott Benner 7:17
we don't know. We'll see when you guys got married. What what did he do?

Janet 7:21
He was in there. He was in the Air Force, actually. He went to the airport Academy. And he had just he graduated and was getting his master's and I graduated. And then he finished school. We got married and hopped in a car drove across the country. And he started pilot training. So yeah, this is all this has been our life.

Scott Benner 7:41
The entire time. He's a pilot. And yes, does he fly jets? Does he fly transports? Like? Yes,

Janet 7:48
well, he flew, he flew F 15 fighters for for the first portion of his career. And then he went over into the instructor pilot training side of the house. So then he was flying the T 38, which is the fighter trainers. So he did that. And now he's currently flying a desk. So

Scott Benner 8:08
the closest I can come to understanding what you're saying is that I am excited for the new Top Gun movie to come out.

Janet 8:14
Oh, am I so I'm so excited. It's so cheesy and so unreal. But I'm so excited.

Scott Benner 8:20
I don't like giving Tom Cruise money, but it has to be done. Because

Janet 8:24
it does in this case. I do. I do.

Scott Benner 8:25
Do. You grew up in 80s? It does. Oh, yeah. Okay, so my last question about your life is if I asked you to rattle off all the places you've lived, do you think you could actually hit them all?

Janet 8:38
I could. Good. Good. Okay. So started off in Columbus, Mississippi. And then we went to Tyndall, Florida. We went to United Kingdom, England, back to Florida. Then we went to Wichita Falls, Texas, then to Leavenworth, Kansas, then to Ramstein, Germany. Back to Texas, and San Antonio, then to Washington, DC, then to another base in England, and then to Belgium, Brussels, Belgium, and then Wichita Falls, and then he deployed for a year so I stayed with Chuck balls, and then now we're in Ohio.

Scott Benner 9:16
Your favorite place overseas to live was?

Janet 9:19
That's a hard one. They all have, you know, different stages of life. Two factors in there. You know, when you're, you know, young no kids, that's it's a different, fun place to do Europe. But Belgium, Belgium was interesting. It was very, very easy to travel from Belgium. So we were also there during the the built in terrorist attacks. So that part wasn't very fun. But the food was great. The people are fun. But towards the end, we were ready to come back to the States.

Scott Benner 9:50
That was a juxtaposition I didn't expect. Terrorist attacks were terrible, but the food was outstanding.

Janet 9:57
We're gonna look at the positives. Right,

Scott Benner 10:00
I'll tell you what you see that on Yelp, you don't know what to do. How about in the States? Where did you enjoy living the best?

Janet 10:08
Um, our family is from Texas originally. So I always kind of like, I've liked that our, our career has been able to send us there a few times. I loved Florida also, I, I joke that you know, we've always lived either in Europe or in the south. So like, this is actually the most northern in the states I've ever lived. And so I'm a little concerned like I'm getting get concerned about the, the weather the winter, but but we haven't we haven't been here too long. So I haven't really explored a lot yet. But so far, people are nice. And it's gorgeous. We've had gorgeous weather since we've been here. So

Scott Benner 10:45
well, we could have done this live a couple days ago, I drove to Kentucky, I went right through Ohio, so we could have done it at a rest stop. would have been way creepy. Yeah. Hi, Janet. Let's do this. We'll do this at a Chick fil A. Anyway, how old are your two kids? So your you have a non type one? Is that your oldest?

Janet 11:11
Yes, yes. So my daughter is 20. And then my son is now 18.

Scott Benner 11:15
At NEC he's, this is pretty much why you've come on today's to talk about this whole thing. So he was diagnosed about a year ago. While he was in high school. My first question, of course, is do you have any type one in the family or other autoimmune issues?

Janet 11:31
Nope. It was totally out of the blue. Okay.

Scott Benner 11:35
Even looking back now thyroid, a sleepy ant? Nothing like that. Nothing? No crazy. Okay. What how did it present?

Janet 11:47
Okay, let's see, we just started he had just started back to school to our being from North Texas, we didn't really lock down as a lot as as bad as a lot of the other country of the country did. So he was bright out about a week in school, we were doing school. And he was just he was just off. You know, of course. Now, all I know, the symptoms. He had completely, you know, classic symptoms. I just didn't, didn't know what they were. But he was just off. And he was, you know, he had started wearing my reader glasses, which he had just had his physical and was you know, 2020 vision, but then he's I saw someone like kind of stealing my readers so that he could look at things and that was weird. And, and the thirst and the waking up at night. And then one Sunday. We were at church, and he was just like, Mom, do you have any water and I'm like, Dude, it's an hour, you can wait until we get home, you know, kind of thing and we get home, he drinks like a gallon of water. And then he goes into work. And then he came home from work and was just laid out on the couch. Just it just he wasn't being himself. And so I'm like, you know, darn it, we've been able to escape COVID I bet that's what it is because I had no idea. So we go to the urgent care clinic, it'd been a Sunday. And they they gave him a COVID test. And they gave him a strep test and a flu test and, and then there must have been something that he said that kind of, you know, prickled, the the nurse and so she's like, hold on a second. So she went back and she she took some blood. And then she left the room. And then she came back in and just looked me dead in the face and said you need to go to the emergency room now. And I I had no words. I didn't know what to say. And I'm like, okay, okay, and she's like, just go now I'm gonna call them and they're gonna be waiting on you, but no explanation whatsoever. So, we get to the emergency room. They're waiting on us. COVID No, you know, we're all messed up, but they wish this back in and they had him hooked up to an IV very quickly. And the next thing I know, there's, you know, they were saying he's a diabetic, and I think his numbers were Oh, no, I'm sorry, I hit the wrong button on my watch. I was trying to silence it. Okay, sorry.

Scott Benner 14:19
That was the opposite of silence.

Janet 14:24
So, yeah, so we're here is number 2800s. At that time, I had no idea what that meant. And, you know, it was just it was just this whirlwind of activity and they're like, Okay, we need to admit them and you know, but he wasn't he was acting fine even though his he was in aid hundreds he was still kind of like cracking jokes and like what's going on kind of thing and which come to find out his peptides were normal. Like his pancreas is still alive and kickin. He's You know, I guess still way, I mean, he's still in the honeymoon. So so that that was a weird thing that they had to kind of figure out what the actual diagnosis because the all the signs for type one were there but there were still signs that as Pancras was alive, so there was that. And then they got us admitted. And this is I guess, looking back on it now it's funny at the time, I was really mad, but I hadn't, you know, my husband's deployed, of course, this things like this happen when your husband's deployed. And so I hadn't been able to get in touch with him. We're an elevator on the way up to to be admitted into the room, and my phone starts blowing up. So I'm like, does, you know all these, you know, like, either Instagram or text? Or are you okay? Oh, my gosh, what are you getting? Let me know if I can help. What do I do? Did it and I'm like, I haven't spoken to a single person. And so I turn around, and I look at Leo, and I'm like, What did you do? Well, he had gone and posted on Instagram already. That you're, you know, here I am in the hospital, I've got diabetes, you know, kind of thing. And so all of his friends who I'm friends with their parents, were just blowing up my phone, and I haven't even told his dad yet. So that was a I was a little upset about that part. But

Scott Benner 16:26
look into kids, he's like, I could probably get followers out of this. Like, get myself up to 500 or 1000. Even. Jen, I'm gonna do something with you very quickly. Before we go on, you have an Apple computer, I'm guessing from the sounds I'm hearing? Yes, the top. You gotta turn that off top left of your screen, you click on the apple, then we're gonna go then we're gonna go to System Preferences. Okay, then we're gonna go to sound

and then there's a sound effects tab, you should be on it already. Halfway down the the dialog box it says play sound effects through and then there's a slider alert, volume slider underneath it, slide it all the way to the left, make it zero.

Janet 17:14
internal speakers? Or did you say something else? Sound effects, sound effects.

Scott Benner 17:17
And then there's my way the left? Yep. And then you just leave that window open somewhere. So you don't forget to slide it back in and that you can quit it when we're finished. And that way your emails and other stuff won't pop through what?

Janet 17:28
Thank you for that, because I was really concerned about that. Right?

Scott Benner 17:31
Listen, anyone else listening to wants to be on the show you have an Apple computer, just do that before you get on and say it again. It'll be perfect. Now, here's the thing that I know from your note that people listening don't know is that your son wants to be a pilot like your husband. Yes. And this makes that not a thing anymore.

Janet 17:51
For the most part, I tell you the, the the minute that I heard the term diabetes, I knew in the back of my head that that was almost a negative percentage chance. But I didn't know how to tell him. And that that actually is the one part that makes me the most emotional. Excuse me. You know, we're sitting it was, I think we're on day, he was in the hospital for five days. And I think it was on day three. And I'm just still haven't gotten up the guests to tell him this. And I just remember the doc walks in and, and he's like, you know, going over the stuff, how are you doing? Are you learning, right? And blah, blah, blah. And then he's like, Well, you can do anything in the world you want to do you know, you just take keep this in control, you're fine, you're going to be good. So what do you want to do when you grow up? And I just froze, because I had been trying to think of a way to bring this up in there. It was laid out right in front of us, you know, and so Leo just looks at him. He's like, I'm gonna join the Air Force. I'm gonna be a pilot, like my dad. And the doc goes, except that

Scott Benner 19:02
wow, what a bedside manner.

Janet 19:06
And, and I'm like, I was like watching a train wreck. You know, I'm, I'm sitting there like, No, this is not happening. This is not happening. And there, there you go. There it happened. And, and that that was what really shattered. My heart was seeing, you know, his face just fell. He had he had he's got he's got such a quirky sense of humor. And he's so he's cracking jokes and already joking about, you know, oh, I got to do this. I don't die, you know, saying all his funny things. And he I was really impressed with them. He had such a great attitude about the whole thing and then all of a sudden has just been there and just cracked. And so, you know, we've had a lot of heartfelt conversations about it. He's currently he's in the College of Engineering. And you know, basically we're kind of like, well, if you can't, can't fly the plane Well, why not design them or do things with them kind of thing. So how ever just a few months ago, the Air Force Academy graduated its first type one diabetic cadet, he fought it and he brought he you know, cuz he was diagnosed when he was at the Academy. And it was basically they medically retire you they make you get out and he fought it. And he actually won. He presented all his, his numbers and his things and he's like, look, I might not be able to deploy that. I can do things. And he actually, they commissioned him just three months ago. So I sent that article to my son, I was like, Hey, dude, you know, look at this, it might be an uphill battle, but someone just cracked a window, you might want to consider, you know,

Scott Benner 20:52
trudging through trying to wiggle through a little bit. Yeah, that's, um, that is really sad. Also, the doctor seems like the kind of guy who would break up with you by going, if you're dating a doctor, raise your hand and then you start putting up your hand goes, nope, not so fast. May I say, John, you and I don't know each other. Well, but that's a douchey move. The way he did that.

Janet 21:14
It was probably a he was he actually was a nice guy. I think it was probably just a reaction of what he can do that, you know, I don't think he expected to hear

Scott Benner 21:24
you don't normally ask a question that has infinite positive answers and one wrong answer. Here, you know, it's like when you make a joke about somebody I don't know. That's something really uncomfortable in front of somebody in somebody like that. That's I have that you're like, oh, geez, sorry. Like, that seems safe. You know? This this guy, your kid? I'm assuming in that little gap of time you like maybe he changed his mind? Is there any way thinking of something else now? I hope he says I hope he says truck driver. You know, which by the way was an uphill battle for a long time and now okay. Yeah, I used to not be able to drive over the road trucks when you type on either

Janet 22:05
No, and I've heard also like the SWAT teams now you can be on a SWAT team and now you can do airliners you can fly airliners now, so the technology is absolutely amazing. And so I so we Hey, dude. This is what you want to do. Don't give up yet.

Scott Benner 22:23
Try to think of his name. But I had the guy on here who got like the first license to to flop to fly the jetliners he. I can't think of his name. I'll figure it out. Yeah, I

Janet 22:34
remember listening to that one. Yeah, I think not the

Scott Benner 22:37
same thing though. Your son wanted to do it through the military. Right. So yeah, yeah. Well, geez, so that's an auspicious start to this whole thing. How did the the the medical side of it go? Has he taken to that reasonably well? And how about you? What did you guys do for management?

Janet 22:56
Well, he is um, I will say that I've heard you know, time and time again on your show about certain doctors not really knowing kind of the thing of how what even type one is and I there was a huge stark difference between the ER doctor and the actual pediatric doctor because Leo was still 17 at the time while we were in the hospital, and the ER doctor was basically like, well, you've got yourself a diabetic that means you can no longer eat ABCDEFG you know, you're going to have to really change your entire lifestyle, you're going to have to do everything and so we're listening to this like going okay, this is a huge life change. Well, it is but you know, the doctor was already was focused on the, the food he can no longer eat anymore. You know, that's basically the first kind of advice we got in the ER. Once we got up to the peat floor and the nurses were talking with us and those doctors were coming in and seeing us they seem to be a lot more knowledgeable about it. And I think I think they did a good job. You know, we were there. Five days. They they had him you know, from the get go I was hands off. I'm like dude, you're 17 I'm not gonna learn how to give you a shot you need to do this and so he took to it right away and in the hospital, it was all vials and syringes. And all I can remember thinking is that for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to be doing math before he eats anything, you know, everything was just for you have to measure this and math and in how many carbs and all the things but then when we got home, they he went home with pins. He had the Novolog pins and Lantus and he did great from the beginning. He was kind of really on top of it. I now I'm the one that you know, cook the food and managed all the things so I was like I had sticky notes. Every time I would make a meal I would run Write out exactly how many carbs was in everything. And I was very, very anal about it. I was just like, oh, no, is this a this is a medium orange? Or is this a large? You know, I was so crazy. And then eventually, I don't know, I just kept getting frustrated with Leo, like, you need to know exactly how many carbs are in this. And he's like, yeah, it looks like about 15 You know, kind of thing. So he was much more laid back about everything than I was I keep I joke that, you know, I'm like, When Harry Met Sally, Sally, that is me. And he's like, laid back days confused. Matthew McConaughey. You know, just like, oh, that's, it'll be alright. Look at that. It's, it's good. It looks, I'll give myself 45. And if I need a bump up, I will kind of thing. So he's kind of really taken to it a lot more. Just easy, an easier approach to it. And, really, this kind of segues a little bit until and into how I found your podcast, because, you know, I guess when you're when your kid gets diagnosed with, with anything, really, people start coming out of the woodwork of, oh, that happened to me, or, Oh, my best friend's son has it or whatever. So, all of a sudden, I found all these people who knew about type one that I didn't know before. You know, they out of the woodwork and and you're this one lady said, You need to listen to the Juicebox Podcast, it'll help you out a lot. And I'm like, I hear the word podcast. And I was like, I don't do podcasts. I've never listened to one in my life. I'm not a auditory person, I'd rather read it or watch it and just listen to it, if that makes sense. And so I was like, I kind of blew it off. And then heard it again from from another random person who someone had given me her number. And so I called and like, hey, you know, such and such picked us up. They said, You have a King College. What's he windy? Can I ask you some questions? Sure did. And right before we got off the phone, she's like, listen to the Juicebox Podcast. And again, I'm like, No, I'm not going to do that. Because I don't do that.

Scott Benner 27:25
You didn't think what are the odds of two people recommending a podcast to me? Right? Well,

Janet 27:32
well, apparently I did. Because I'm like, so I walk a lot. And just to, you know, get outside and walk and kind of when my husband was deployed for the year, that was kind of like my coping mechanism, I would just just walk in and just, you know, go on trails, or whatever. And so I'm like, Okay, I'll try this podcast thing. And so I searched you up, and I listened. And I listened to, like, I was kind of lost. Because I think when I started, you had like, 400 episodes already. So I was like, I have no idea where to even start with this. And then I go, I don't know, if I Googled it, or I did something. Or maybe I think I went to your, your website, I looked at your website first, the Ardennes day. And there was something on there of that. It's like the blue box that has like the top episodes to get started with. Yeah, or whatever. Yeah, I saw that. I found that and I'm like, Okay, well just follow this little list. And so that's what I did. And then I was pretty much hooked. And I haven't listened to every episode. But I've listened to a lot of them. I would scroll through and try to pick, pick the titles. That sounded interesting, but then you can't go by that,

Scott Benner 28:53
because I put no effort into that. Yeah.

Janet 28:57
Like, I have no idea what this is gonna be about. So. Um, so I will say that your podcast really helped me relax, okay. It helped me realize that. It was it was manageable. And here's the tools to how to do it. You know, so I found it relatively quickly. In fact, I started listening to you before we went to our first diabetes educator, person. And I'm glad because I felt like the information was presented to me in a way that I could get it. Whereas before, everything was just very clinical and numbers and you have to do this math and then enter in this code and blah, blah, blah. Whereas now I was like, Okay, now I kind of knew what was going on. I knew what was happening, if that makes sense.

Scott Benner 29:53
Well, not only does that make me feel good, but you've you've saved my week because today is Thursday as we record it on Tuesday. I heard a story about how somebody found the podcast. And then she told me she didn't really like me very much. And I was like, Oh, this is fun for me. Go ahead. Explain why you don't like me. And then she did. And, and then she ended up liking me. And I was like, Okay, thank you. So I told her, that I just think you need to be straightforward about this stuff. And that you need to feel like the person you're listening to understands. And then and that sort of has to do with, like, you have to speak with an authoritative confidence. You know, like, either I understand this, or I don't if I don't understand that, then I'm here to commiserate with you, which is not going to help you, you know, beyond that commiseration. But if you? I don't know, I just I know how to do this. I don't think that that's a bad thing to say out loud. You know what I mean? And I feel confident about it among most of the decisions that need to be made. So anyway, I'm glad cuz I was scared Janet. Church, you said church, she said Texas a couple of times. And I was like, she's not gonna lie to me when she got to the spot. So I was like, I'm all beat up now. My like, now I got my hands up. I'm waiting to get hit in the face. But I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad you listened to those people. And thank you to them. Yeah, seriously, I tell people all the time. The podcast grows because people share it. Like I don't, I don't pay for I couldn't afford to and I don't have marketing. Marketing a podcast is not the way to make it grow to begin with it's word of mouth. And so if people don't take the time to tell someone else, it just kind of languishes. But instead, today, September 30. And this was the most downloaded month in the history of the podcast this month, had more downloads by almost 100% Then did 2018. And it almost this month almost had as many downloads as 2019 In total, crazy yeah, I feel it's crazy to It shocks me every time I say it.

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Later today, head over to touched by type one.org. Check out their programs tab to learn more about what they do. Everything from their annual conference to their awareness campaigns, their dancing for diabetes programs, those DI boxes, and the new golfing for diabetes event that's coming up very soon. Touched by type one.org. So there we are. We're friends. Now I'm your walk. You don't talk to me while you're walking do

Janet 33:18
I'm not walking?

Scott Benner 33:21
I mean, I mean, generally when you're walking and listening, you don't speak out loud to me do

Janet 33:25
I? Typically not? Yeah, but I giggle a lot because that's why I think we would have been friends in high school because your movie quote or you'll say, you know, referencing movies? And I'm like, Yeah, we're totally in the same timeframe.

Scott Benner 33:39
Oh my god, I always just imagine the younger people are like, they just bear down and think they said my a onesie, you'll get better. I'm just gonna make it through this. Anyway, well, that's really cool. But does it translate to your son? Because he's managing himself mainly. And oddly enough, he is sort of has my vibe it is sort of like just use more or something like that. Yeah. So but how do you get the information you're finding to him? And how much pressure Do you feel to do that before he leaves for college? Yeah.

Janet 34:10
He, at the first at the onset, once I started listening to you, he was pretty open to i Listen, when I learned today, you know, and I couldn't get him to actually listen to the podcast. Now on a couple of occasions. If I had him trapped in the car. I would I would put I'm like, okay, hear me out. Let's just listen to one kind of thing and but where I knew that it was getting through to him, because you know, a lot of times I would just get the grunts back like Uh huh. Yeah. Okay, whatever kind of kind of things that when I knew what I was saying was actually seeping in was actually at our first diabetic counselor session. When she made a comment about you know, let's look at our numbers. Let's look at the range. And before I could say anything, he said, I don't want to go over 120 Or I want to set it at 120. And I'm like, oh my god, he was listening to me. Actually, he actually listened to something I said, and then so he might, you know, fight me a little bit on it on the on the surface, but ultimately, he definitely buys in to this philosophy. And I've heard him mentioned before, things like, well, I'd really rather you know, catch a low than battle a high and that sort of thing. So, you know, now that I'm not nagging him all the time, and he's in a completely different state. I feel more comfortable that he gets it now. Does he have all the fine tunings down like, you know, I was listening to your podcasts it aired, I think, last week, maybe with the doctor, was it, Addy, Dr. Salah Gowdy,

Scott Benner 36:01
he was really good, wasn't he?

Janet 36:03
Oh, he was fantastic. But I'm like, Okay, this is the Especially that last half when he was talking about the basil and, and everything I'm like, This is what I need to listen to. Because he that's the kind of stuff he still I think plays a little fast and loose. Sometimes when he's just like, Oh, I'll, I'll just throw more at it later, or whatever. So that's, that's kind of like the more fine tuning that I really want him to get to, so that he doesn't fluctuate as much as he does sometimes, especially. And that's actually one of the questions that I had come on to me during that Dr. oddies. podcast was he was talking about getting it straight throughout the night, that Basal rate straight throughout the night, that way, you kind of reasonably know that you've got it. Right. And, and my thought process was, yeah, but he's in college staying up till 3am eating pizza, you know. So

Scott Benner 37:04
I do you just go to whatever his sleeping time is like, the idea is that, first of all, I have to tell you that when he said that, I was so proud of myself, because I came up with that thought by myself without talking to anybody else. And this guy seemed brilliant. And anything he said that I agreed with, I was like, Oh, it made me feel very good. Anyway, yeah. But yeah, so you just want like, away from Bolus or active insulin? How does he sit stable, and then nighttime ends up being the easiest because, you know, you imagine your stop eating at some point before you go to sleep, and maybe you can even watch it from like, 2am to whatever, you know, your son shouldn't be growing too much anymore. Right. So whatever works in that space is kind of a good jumping off point for other times a day, I think is the idea. But I hear what you're saying. He's probably up till two in the morning. Is he a freshman? Yeah, he's

Janet 38:00
a freshman. Yeah,

Scott Benner 38:01
they don't, they don't go to school even barely. They just, you know.

Janet 38:07
Say, I'm really proud of this kid. He's actually he called me in a panic, like three weeks ago, because he overslept for a class and was late. And I'm like, Well, the fact that you're panicked about that makes me feel good.

Scott Benner 38:21
I'm gonna, I'm gonna crap on your parade here for a second. I got that exact same phone call. When Cole was a freshman. I just woke up, I overslept. I'm really sorry. The class is 10 minutes into it. I don't know what to do. And I was like, Is there time for you to get to the class? He just Yeah, I said walk in and when he makes eye contact with you go, I'm sorry. And then sit down. Or excuse me, I was like, it's not a big deal. I was like, It's okay. And then a couple of days ago, Cole FaceTime me to say he wasn't feeling well. The the entire campus got sick when of course they were all reintroduced to each other after a year and a half. So they all have the same kind of sniffily head cold. And he's like, I didn't feel good. It's exciting. Go to class yesterday. I was like, Oh, I don't hear the same panic in your voice. Did when you when you were freshmen. He's like, I can make it up and I was like, Yeah, okay. Thanks. All my money. Every every dollar I make off an ad from this thing is just over at that college and he's like, I didn't go today. Yeah, that's good. Rest up, buddy. Once you're nice and fresh, don't worry. I'll just keep working. No, but seriously, I was very proud of my son that day to when he made that same phone call. I was like, wow, this is like, you know, either this means something to him or at least he has respect for us. Yeah, yeah. So

Janet 39:48
definitely so Oh, but he's, he's really doing He's really doing good. I think I'm probably struggling the most because I don't have that. You know, I was making I was his little Isn't his food and I was in control of all that. And now I'm not in control of any of it, you know. And so it's, it's, that's the part that gets me the most and he's on Dexcom. But the past four days actually, while we were talking, it just shot back on. For the past four days he had, he hadn't basically called for a few replacement ones that he needed at they had like, either had malfunctioned or whatever. And so he ran out of them. And so he had like one left until he could get his new prescription. And he was just going to wait, hold off a few days before putting it on. I was like, are you okay to fingerstick? In again for a few days? He's like, Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. You know, but me, I'm like checking my phone twice a day hoping. The darn Dexcom back on and sure enough, it just right. As we were talking, I got a high glucose notification. So apparently is back on.

Scott Benner 40:58
That's good. Did he put it back on? Do you think he do you think he was just looking to be autonomous for a couple of days?

Janet 41:05
I don't know. i He, I think that that's a possibility. That's a possibility of him. Just kind of taking a break from mom in his blood sugar kind of thing.

Scott Benner 41:16
So you did indicate earlier that you're tracking him? I'm assuming through Find My iPhone?

Janet 41:21
Yes, yeah. Actually, we have the live 360.

Scott Benner 41:26
Okay, whichever one you're used to

Janet 41:27
find my iphone works. When we get the low notification in the middle of the night. We have had to call him a couple times. And if he doesn't answer his phone, send that then we ping him on Find My iPhone. And that always wakes him up.

Scott Benner 41:41
I've done that to Arden while she's in school. And then I get a text back. What are you doing? That's so loud? I'm like, You should have answered me. I didn't hear it. I'm like, Well, you heard that. So we're all good. Now don't worry about stop yelling at me and Bolus. We haven't done that in a while, of course, because you know, COVID. Well, is his plan. I mean, it's such an unfair question, because he's a freshman. And I still my son's a senior and I don't, he's got a degree in a, he's gonna have a degree in A minor. And I still don't think he has, if I asked him what he want to do for a living, I don't know that he would have any answer for that. So but is your son shifting his focus? Or is he going to put his head down and try to run through that glass ceiling? Or what's he doing there?

Janet 42:25
You know, I don't know. And I don't know if he knows quite yet. I think that I think what he's probably going to do is finish out college and then pursue, if he chooses to try then try for a OTS officer training school and go through that way. I think, I don't think he's going to try and join an ROTC program or anything. But, you know, I'm wondering if this is just where he needs to be. You know, he's always my husband has always been very military and very short hair, and, you know, just fine in the uniform, whereas Leo has always been more of a of a freer spirits, you know, he's got a beard and he's got he's not clean cut, you know, and he's, he's more of his just express myself wearing, you know, taco cat T shirts, or whatever. And so I never really saw him want to be in the military as far as he'd have to shave. And you have to follow these rules. And he's always kind of, you know, he's a good kid. He follows the rules for the most part, but he makes his own way. He definitely has his own way of doing things and they work for him. And so I don't know if this is maybe something that's more than that he'll Jive more to on this end, maybe still working with military but not actually in the uniform kind of thing. Or he could choose to hey, let's I do want to continue to pursue being a pilot. So yeah, no, I think he's, I think he's just kind of feeling it out right now.

Scott Benner 44:12
That's perfect. I would guess too, even if he felt like maybe even if he just felt like a little pressure like this is what we do. Maybe that releases him from that even you know what I mean? So I'm sure it'll be tough he sounds like a great person. So I'm sure it'll be good you agree with me about a lot of stuff so that makes me like you and then that makes me feel good about your kid. So see how easy it is to win me over just the gray that's all so with it so you put all this effort into understanding diabetes and then the diabetes left did right feel more abandoned by the your kid go into college or that task being taken from you?

Janet 44:56
I don't know cuz I still I still listen to your podcasts even though No, I've heard you say before that there's like a six month limit almost when people feel like, okay, I got it. And then they might kind of go, you know, once they feel comfortable that I haven't, I'm not there yet, I still want to learn and in finding, you know, listen to more stories, and I love it when you have the doctors on and the Dexcom CEO, guys, I love those, those are my favorite because I just feel like that's some at least some more information I can pass along to Leo, I feel like I can't kind of mess with his day to day stuff anymore, because he's proven to me that he's still alive after a month of college, and I'm not there. So he's proven to me that he can he can do this. I think. But when I hear from like the doctors or that kind of stuff, and I have like a nugget of hey, guess what's coming down the pike, you know, and he's more receptive to listening to that information for me than he is me saying, Hey, have you Pre-Bolus lately, you know, kind of thing. So. So there's that. And, and another thing that I keep kind of harping on him a little bit is because he's in this extended honeymoon. I mean, he if he goes above 200, I freak out, because he very rarely, if he goes above 200, he just like spikes up there and goes right back down. We have never battled the 300 400 500 that I hear described on your show. We'd never been there once we got out of the initial hospital visit because he was in the eight hundreds at that time. But But since then, we've had loads we've had to lose all the time, because it's like he's he's doing okay, doing okay in range and range. And then his pancreas wakes up and decides to spit some insulin out. And then he dips. So I've always been more fearful of the lows. I've never really been worried about the highs at all, because we just haven't battled them that I know, eventually, they're coming. And so that's kind of my little thing with him. Is that, okay? Remember, what you're doing now won't always be the case. You know, it won't always be the case that a pin will last you over a month and you have to throw it away before because it's, it's expired not because you've finished it, you know, this is insulin needs are still really low. So

Scott Benner 47:25
he's gonna somebody's gonna steal those training wheels off his bike in the middle of the night.

Janet 47:29
Right and that's that's my fear is that he's resting on his laurels because he's got this I got this mom I got this. Well, eventually, they're gonna they're gonna, it's gonna it's gonna change have you?

Scott Benner 47:40
Have you done a good job you think of explaining to him that this is just the beginning and that he's getting help from the pancreas though. Yeah, he knows

Janet 47:49
he, he, he's pretty he's pretty aware of all of it. And he he kind of knows the the biology of it about how his you know the beta cells and all that he kind of he gets it so and he knows that eventually like randomly if he has been kind of trending high a little bit and I'll tell him I was like well do you need to maybe increase your base a little bit or maybe increase your carb ratio he'll he's made comments of I wonder is this it? Is this it? Is my pancreas finally gonna go could put now as this it, but then he'll make some adjustments and it goes kind of back to the way it was. So he's aware of it?

Scott Benner 48:35
Well, that's I mean, all you can ask for it's going to be a shock. Listen, I mean, I've seen people over and over again, they get knocked over by it at first because it's a big adjustment. It doesn't you don't expect the adjustment that's coming even if you're even if you're expecting an end to an honeymoon, you don't expect it to be so drastic, you know, I know for parents of little kids, it's hard for them to go from like point one five an hour to point four. They feel like it's like all the insulin in the world. And for an adult How big is your son?

Janet 49:09
He's a he's a big kid about 181 90 He was a wrestler, he I mean, he's just he just a very big kicks

Scott Benner 49:18
junkie. Yeah, he's gonna need some insulin at some point. And if the amount is if you can stop yourself by being shocked by the number and just meet the need, it's much easier and maybe he'll be okay with that. Maybe he's not going to be put off by the number. You know, just be able to adjust and maybe it'll happen during a break. That would be nice or summer when he's home. That would be nice. Yeah, you could crawl back up his button take care of it

i i cried pretty extensively when I dropped my son off at college, and I'm preparing to just martyr myself when Arden leaves I'm just gonna, it's gonna climb to the top Up the hill and, and well until people come and stone me to that

Janet 50:05
idea that was that was a rough drive and not only were we very good Alright, that was a rough, rough drive because I wasn't we weren't dropping them off at Texas. I felt like you were leaving him we were abandoning my child in Texas and driving to Ohio. That was like a that was tough. That was a really I mean, with my daughter dropping her off. It was hard to of course, she was our first but we lived five hours away at the time. And you know, now I had to jump on an airplane to go down there. And so yeah, it was it was a rough rough drive. Walking away, you know? And

Scott Benner 50:45
do you think you had a little the mother and son thing too? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can't tell what that is. I don't know what dastardly like wiring isn't a mother. But I mean, I first I thought it was because Cole was older. And then I don't even know what it is. Like, I couldn't tell you like Kelly loves Arden completely. But I mean, I feel like she'd pause before murdering you if you came after Arden. But if you can't, like at least she'd be like, it's gonna be wrong to murder this person. But I have to because they're going after my daughter. But if you came after my son, I don't even think there's a mechanism in her brain to make her think. And I don't even I can't understand what that is. But it seems real to me.

Janet 51:27
So, you know, and I, because mine are flipped because my daughter is my older one. Um, just for us, my daughter and I are very similar. We are similar personalities. We think alike. Because of that we can butt heads. So you know, but also she just she always just she was ready. She was ready to go. I saw that she was ready. It was hard. I cried many tears. But she was there she was she was it. She was doing it. You know, with Leo? Yes. He's always been my baby, of course, because he was the second born. But I think it was doubly hard. Because the whole last year, you know, my daughter was away at college. My husband was deployed. And it was just Leo and I, it we were like roommates, we you know, we kind of developed this in diabetes hit. So we also had that to work through together. So we really developed a very tighter bond this last year and in the fact that that I think that added to it as well. Of not only is he my boy and my baby, but now I have to leave him and abandon him in this place far away from me where I can't keep him alive.

Scott Benner 52:47
Was your husband in a war zone? He Yes, he was. And and oddly, he might have gotten the he might have gotten the happier end of the stick. When you're trying to figure out diabetes, I'm assuming I'm assuming that you had at least one phone call where you told him how hard this was. And he said, I'm I'm flying a jet in a war. And,

Janet 53:09
well, he wasn't flying. It was a kind of flying job. But but you know, I actually felt sorry for him because he, you know, as much as out of control as I feel like right now, with Leo being so far away for me. He, my husband had struggled a lot with being away during this that time. I mean, he really couldn't do anything to help and he could listen to me, but he hadn't been able to immerse himself in the whole diabetic vocabulary. So he was barely hanging on to what I was trying to tell him. And then he in turn, didn't know how to help me. And you know, outside of just letting me cry and telling me he loves me that it's gonna be okay, you know. And so he really felt it was just awful for for him. He felt like he was so far away and he couldn't help us work through this. And you know, when I think it really first hit home when he when he was home and we were actually in the middle of our move from Texas, Ohio. And he was right, Leo's low alarm urgent low, came across in the middle of the night, you know, and, and so I'm like, up like shot and in rest is grabbing the phone and trying to you know, figure out, you know, let's call him He's not answering his phone and, and then, you know, it turned out to be a compression low, but me at the end of the day, you know, he wakes up he's like, oh, yeah, I'm all good. It's fine. I'm going back to bed. And you know, but we're so awake. After Leo goes back to bed and, and, you know, he just looked at me and he was just like, I'm so sorry. You had to do this by yourself. I'm so sorry. You know, because he was just now starting to experience what I had experienced for the whole year. And it was really hard on him. It was really it was really hard on him to deal with that. Because you know, he's, he's my rock, and all of a sudden my Iraq is in Iraq. And

Scott Benner 55:19
you're trying to name the episode?

Janet 55:21
Oh, gosh, no.

Scott Benner 55:24
Because I'm very lazy about this. And I will obviously just go with that if if it needs to be, well, no, I can't. I can't agree with you more honestly, that that helpless feeling exists when you're there. But But putting that kind of distance between it. I can't imagine how that must ratchet it up. Yeah, and, and vice versa, too, right. Like, now you're aware that he feels bad, he's aware that you're struggling, neither of you can help each other he can even learn about diabetes. And then he understands to that time is going to take away and before you know it, your son's gonna be off at college. And he might never have that. That connection of understanding with him. You know, and and probably had to listen to you talk about some guy on a podcast over a scratchy phone call, which I'm assuming was really irritating. I get notes from guys sometimes that are like, you know, I can't take your my wife telling me about you anymore.

Janet 56:27
It's a good problem to have there right.

Scott Benner 56:29
Now for them. They're irritating for them. Yeah, so I just, you know, being overseas like that? I don't know, I have no context for that, obviously. But it sounds just extra difficult. It really does. But he's it. But it sounds like Leo's doing well, it sounds like he's aware of what may or may not happen. Are you concerned about drinking, do you think he's going to drink

Janet 56:55
he's actually, he's got a much better head on his shoulders than I do sometimes about that stuff. He's really good with self control. You know, us actually, as living in Belgium, the drinking age was 16. And so, you know, he's had, he's had a beer, he's, you know, we've, it's, we've never, we've never been a never, never, never, we've always been a, you need to do this, if you're going to do this, you're going to responsible, you have to be responsible, and you have to know how things affect your body. And, you know, sitting on the couch is a lot different than being in a bar somewhere. So we've always just been very realistic, and just know, know yourself and know who you're with, and be responsible. So that's always been our mantra with that, because I I did not follow the rules when I was in college. And so I can't, I have to know in my heart of hearts that they might not either. So we've always tried to take that approach of you need to be careful, always. And he is actually he's, he's very responsible. With it, I I'm not going to hold any, you know, imaginations that he's not ever not going to. But I did have the, the diabetic counselor, walk them through it, you know, like, if you do choose to drink alcohol, you need to do A, B, C, and D. And you need to be very careful, and you need to eat and you need to you know, keep your alerts on and don't turn your phone off and all these kind of things. So we've talked about it, but I definitely say of, of all the members of our family that could would be the most responsible in that aspect. I think he's he's, he's it so

Scott Benner 58:49
I gotta be honest with you. I was hoping you would say the guy flying the plane but I understand what you're getting at.

Janet 58:55
Well, that's what the bottle was throttle rule is

Scott Benner 58:58
that sounds like a thing. Do you it is a thing.

Janet 59:00
It is a thing. You can't drink a certain amount of time before you get into the start the process of the plane, anything with the plane so they call it bottle the throttle?

Scott Benner 59:11
Do you guys have a private plane? Like do you and your husband go out on weekends and things like that?

Janet 59:16
We do not but that is on his bucket list.

Scott Benner 59:21
That's gonna be your retirement is him flying you places and seeing taking a sandwich so you'll get tired of that. Okay, that's not the point. That's

Janet 59:28
the great irony is I'm scared to fly. I do it. But I I'm nervous the entire time.

Scott Benner 59:35
How are you with your husband flying? Did that ever? Does that bother you? Was it something you just give away? Like being a cop's wife or something like

Janet 59:41
it took a long time. It took a long time it when he was back in pilot training. I was always a basket case. And like I wanted him to Well, this was before cellphones, really but I wanted him to like, you know, just give me a quick call when he landed. I was a little more you know, freaked out about it. Then now I've really, I'm, I mean, I trust him. He's a good pilot, I know he's gonna be okay. And I just, you know, I leave it at that. But it was a journey, it took me a while to get there. And there's always little, little, you know, whether they call him when your old house tales, wife kills or whatever, it superstitions, things like that. But you know that we never break their taboos that that you don't do. Like, once he steps to his jet. That's it, I don't call him I don't text him. He doesn't call me he doesn't text me. His brain is solely on his mission. And there, you know, fast forward. Gosh, it was in his last assignment, I was doing a tour with a group of ladies at the squadron. And as we entered into this, I call it the stinky room because that's where all their gear hangs. And, you know, like, it's like a big, massive locker rooms smell you know,

Scott Benner 1:00:56
a car smells when calls home playing baseball.

Janet 1:01:00
And as we're walking through it, I see at the end of the room, I see him and he's he's putting his he's getting his gears, he's got his G suit on, he's putting his getting his helmet all ready to go step to a jet, and we lock eyes. And I like almost had a panic attack. Because once he steps to the jet, you're not supposed to see me or think about me, you think about the mission, you know, and it's always been our little thing. And I spent the rest of the day freaked out like, something that happened is I when he came home, he was like, It's okay, I'm fine.

Scott Benner 1:01:34
That's when that's when it's easy for him to forget about you. He was like, Yeah, that's fine. I won't worry. I'll tell you. We're in Lieberman. I don't know if you know who that is. He's the Pentagon correspondent for CNN. He also has type one. And he's a he's a pilot too. And when he was on the podcast, we learned that his parents and where his plane is very close to my house. And he was just, I think he was being polite. He's like, I'll take you out one time. And I'm like, no, like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to go up in your tiny little plane that you were able to afford on your own. That seems wrong.

Janet 1:02:09
Yeah, he's had to kind of walk me taught me that taught me into it over the years. And he's. So I don't know if you know, financially, it'll ever be feasible. But he's he wants to get his private pilot's license. So that wants our time in the Air Force's is over that that is an option open to him. So he's excited about it,

Scott Benner 1:02:31
I would start flying jets and then just you guys could just constantly be on vacation, you probably could sell your home, you could just bounce around the world for a while. That'd be fun. My last question for you. And then I'm gonna ask you if there's anything we haven't talked about. But my last question for you is how engaged in diabetes? Do you think you're going to be over the next handful of years with Leo?

Janet 1:02:56
Oh, I think as long as he's open to me still being engaged, I can't see myself exiting that at all. I think that at some point, in some minor little way, he appreciates my nagging. Or at least he appreciates me doing all the research and sharing the the nuggets within that. So that he doesn't have to do it himself. I know I'm very anxiously awaiting the, the new the newest Omnipod and Dexcom. So that we can try the whole loop thing. I'm not quite comfortable enough with doing it the do it yourself stuff. I've looked into it. I've researched it, but I'm not that comfortable with it yet. I think I'd rather wait until it's pre packaged for me.

Scott Benner 1:03:51
Yeah. On the five you're talking about? Yeah, yeah.

Janet 1:03:55
Yeah. So I'm looking forward to that. And I, he doesn't really he doesn't have a stigma about the diabetes. I know. A lot of kids do they either hide it or don't want to be very open with it. And, and he's just, he doesn't care. He's like, and he actually hates the term. Or he doesn't prefer the term diabetic, because he's like, I'm not a diabetic. I'm Leo and I happen to have diabetes kind of thing. You know, so he doesn't, he's just like, it's okay. It's just part of me if you see my pod, fine, whatever, I don't care. So he's very good about that. And so I don't think he'll ever kick me off of his Dexcom or anything like that. But I think as we progress and as he matures and grows and my hope is that he does get a little more involved and still continuing to learn about it because because of the the new things that are coming down, you know, right now, it's all me saying, Oh, guess what, guess what's coming or or that kind of thing. And I hope that one day he takes that on. But I really can't see myself really stepping out of it all the way unless he really wants me

Scott Benner 1:05:08
to pushes you away. Yeah. Well, that sounds about like how I would have answered. So I think it's great. I think, I think that I'd love to talk to Leo in a couple years after he's used on the pod five for a while. And that would be really interesting. For a person who's newly diagnosed in college to start on that it'd be, it'd be a good information to have at some point. So Leo, if you're listening, just, you know, hit me up, like in a year or two.

Janet 1:05:35
We'll well tell him to I don't know, I still he's still, I still can't get him to listen, you know, on his own. So maybe,

Scott Benner 1:05:42
listen, I wouldn't if I don't know if I would listen to the podcast, although I have to tell you something. And and then I'll let you go. I know I have you over time. Earlier, you talked to you referred to when I said people seemed like a six month of life. That was something I learned from the internet from social media that I just assumed would translate to the podcast, but it doesn't seem that it has. So yeah, I think there's something about listening to the stories that's entertaining outside of diabetes. And I have to admit that a couple of the podcasts that I listened to were on hiatus this week, and I listened to my own podcast once and when I got done, I was like, This is good. I was entertained by it. Like it kept me It kept my attention for the hour. And so I'm not seeing people drift away from the podcast the way I see them just away from online help. Okay, so that's, I, you know, that's good. I have my fingers crossed. I think that's why the, the numbers grow. Because people hang around to listen to other people's stories, too.

Janet 1:06:42
You're not losing the old ones, you're just adding new ones just adding more.

Scott Benner 1:06:45
So you know, I like that you're listening. And there's people who listen, who don't have diabetes. There's a person I always think of who listens to stay close to their kids. You know, so there's, there's a, there's a lot going on here. So I appreciate that you found it and that your friends, or your acquaintances, actually, I meant to give you props earlier, you did something difficult as he was diagnosed. And I don't know if you realize it or not, but people like offered you a phone number to call like, here, reach out to me ask me questions. And you actually did it. You have no idea how often I get to like a note from a friend that says I gave your cell phone number to a friend of mine, and told her to reach out to you about diabetes, and they never reach out. So it's a big deal that you were that you did that I think I

Janet 1:07:36
wonder? Well, I was I was floundering. I mean, I just you know, I was I just was at that point of, okay, this person can help me. I mean, I call you know, the washing machine repair man, if I needed my washing machine repaired. So I need some help here. And you know, this community has been fantastic. Everyone's been very opening and non judging. And here's what I can offer you and and yeah, it's it's, it's, it's really amazing how many lives type one does touch. I mean, it's like you don't you don't even think about it. And then all of a sudden, they're like, oh, yeah, my daughter, oh, yeah, my son or my aunt, or whatever. And you've known this person forever. And you never knew that. So

Scott Benner 1:08:23
now, I'm just telling you from my experience that you had the nerve or the the instinct to reach out. It's a big deal. A lot of people ignore that when people lend a hand. They don't sometimes take it. So that's cool. I was I was I meant to say it when you were talking about and the conversation just kind of got past me. Also, you mentioned that Leo ran out of decks comms and while we were I wrote down a note for me to call. And because I realized aren't only has two left, like, I have to do that. So I appreciate that as well. Is there anything that we didn't talk about that you were hoping to? Oh,

Janet 1:08:57
I'm sure there are but I don't know. I think that I guess that is another thing that me having to give up the control is Leo is now responsible for calling and getting his own things. And that for me is another difficult thing to let go of. Because I'm you know, I have all my ducks in a row and and he shouldn't run out. He should have called already. He's almost running out. Well, you

Scott Benner 1:09:24
can have my kid if you want. Who sent me a note and said I'm out of this. Get me more not Yeah. Tell me how to find it. That's for sure. Yeah, but now I understand. Are you kind of Taipei to begin with?

Janet 1:09:39
Oh, yeah, yeah, I own it.

Scott Benner 1:09:43
Well, you need something else to tell what to do. Call your daughter. Call your daughter up and fix her life. Did you say were you getting ready to say my dogs don't listen to me?

Janet 1:09:58
No dogs don't listen to me. They're so I need to find I need to find something.

Scott Benner 1:10:03
Do you think you'll ever be able to just let it go?

Janet 1:10:06
Oh, I doubt it. I doubt it. I mean, the Janet, you're speaking to you now and the Janet a year from now are completely two different people I have, I have learned to relax. So much more, but it's still I'm on edge a lot. You know, definitely the Dexcom totally helped help with that. But then sometimes you you know, when you get a low in the middle of the night, and then you call him and he's like, Oh, I just checked, I'm at, I'm at 101, I'm fine. So it's, it's that part of it is what scares me the most, because I want to trust the Dexcom, which I do 99% of the time, but then it'll still wake me up and freak me out in the middle of the night. And then it was a compression low. So and I get it, it's a it's a machine things are gonna happen. But I think me, me having to put so much trust into everyone else. And I have zero control is probably a struggle, I'm probably never going to get rid of completely.

Scott Benner 1:11:07
You might be surprised. Yeah, maybe the g7. I'm hoping that the flatter aspect of the g7 might keep it from experiencing compression lows the same way. I don't know if it will or not, but I'm hopeful about that.

Janet 1:11:20
And it's smaller, I'm liking the fact that it's smaller, because Leo does have some issues with the adhesives, you know, of not sticking on or sometimes he'll say, Oh, is this a thing, sometimes he'll he puts it in too hard or too deep, or it draws a little bit of blood and then that blood will just seep into the surrounding adhesive, and then the adhesive won't last

Scott Benner 1:11:46
I would not think of it as being too deep. He probably just nicked a vein, or a little blood vessel I should say. And that does happen. But once it's once it happens, you can kind of rinse it away before it gets to the before it gets to the adhesive. So we just I wake it out with a tissue like I twisted clean tissue up and just stick it in there and wick the blood away and then the bleeding stops before it gets to the adhesive. I have seen people get more of a gusher and they'll just kind of jump in the shower real quick. And let it like like let water run through it until the bleeding stops. But also Dexcom right now, if you call them he'll they'll send him overlay patches to put over it that work really

Janet 1:12:29
well. Yeah. And we've done that we've done that as well. Okay, it's just gets his skin gets so irritated at certain times. But I think

Scott Benner 1:12:36
if I'm remembering the conversation correctly with the g7, the overlays are just going to come with it. So you won't even have to ask for them separately. It'll just be there. Oh, that's perfect. So that'll be cool, too. And that was pretty much it.

Janet 1:12:48
You don't have to deal with my impatience.

Scott Benner 1:12:51
We were really terrific. Were you nervous? We were okay.

Janet 1:12:55
I was nervous. I was nervous is actually really surreal. Like having you talk to me hear your voice in me actually talking back because I'm so used to hearing your voice talking to somebody else. So it was really surreal. I was nervous. But I'm I mean, I've done a lot of public speaking so I was I wasn't shaking or anything. But yeah, I was I was a little apprehensive,

Scott Benner 1:13:21
either great. I thought whatever level of nerves you had you pretty much held on to the entire time. But they didn't that they didn't seem bad. Like they weren't overwhelming. But that's good. I think you're great.

Janet 1:13:32
That way. Yeah, I do tend to talk fast when I get nervous though. So I don't know if you're gonna have to slow me down or something.

Scott Benner 1:13:40
That's great. Are you kidding? I love when people talk. I'm always slowing myself down thinking like, Oh, don't talk so quickly. And you were going like a mile a minute. I was like, this is fantastic. Plus, I didn't have to talk as much. This is like a like I showed up at work today. And somebody started doing my job for me. So it was perfect. Oh, well. You're welcome. Thank you very much.

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#651 After Dark: Recovery

Ashley has type 1 diabetes and is the mother of a T1.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 651 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Alright, let's see what's on tap today. We have Ashley, she has type one diabetes. She's also the parent of a child with type one diabetes. She is also in recovery. There is a lot going on here, in this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, I have to tell you, it wasn't until late into this one that I even thought to make it an after dark, but I think it qualifies. So while you're listening and trying to decide if I'm right, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. If you have type one diabetes, or care for someone who has type one and are a US resident, please head to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox and take the survey. It will take you fewer than 10 minutes. And when you do this, this nice thing this survey taking. You will be helping people with type one diabetes and supporting the Juicebox Podcast T one day exchange.org forward slash juice box this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod. Find out more about the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod promise at Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox.

Ashley 1:48
Alright, hey guys, my name is Ashley. I'm here to talk with Scott.

Scott Benner 1:52
Perfect. Ashley, you're the first person to get it right. Don't tell the other people. That was excellent. What's your connection to type one? Do you have it? Are you the parent of someone that has?

Ashley 2:02
I have it? I was diagnosed in 2001. And my daughter was just diagnosed in August of last year. So 2020

Scott Benner 2:11
Wow. So you've had it for 20 years? Yes, sir. How old? were you when you were diagnosed?

Ashley 2:17
Seven or eight? Right around there?

Scott Benner 2:19
Wow. Actually, you're young? Yeah, I didn't realize how young you were.

Ashley 2:23
Yeah, seven or eight. And I don't really like remember diabetes? At all. In my childhood. You know, my parents controlled most of it. But like, I don't remember food restrictions. I don't remember, you know, any devastating things about you know, diabetes back then. Because tech and everything was not much different. Yeah.

Scott Benner 2:43
It just felt like a normal part of your life. And it wasn't, it wasn't very intrusive, or you just didn't think of it that way.

Ashley 2:50
I guess I didn't think of it that way. It just was something I had to deal with.

Scott Benner 2:54
Can I ask you did you have Did you hit any of this common speed bumps? High school years College? To start taking care of yourself? Did any of that stuff happen?

Ashley 3:03
I'm most definitely I've, um, I had a wild childhood. Not that I like grew up in a bad area or did bad things. But like, you know, I had a sense of entitlement. And I, you know, thought nothing could kill me. So I had, you know, I had a rough patch of fun things that could be an after dark episode. Well keep that for that type of podcast. But um, yeah, I ended up you know, getting clean. And I stayed like that for, you know, eight years I got pregnant in the mix. And then once the pregnancy happened was really when I cared about things.

Scott Benner 3:42
Okay. So I'm just going to pick through this lightly, because I feel like you are okay to talk about it. But you don't want to go too deeply. So an addiction

Ashley 3:53
and addiction of more anything, really, whether it was more, more drugs, more sex, more food, more weight loss, more, anything that I could have more of, is what my problem was,

Scott Benner 4:06
I understand. Well, you know what, it's funny. I there's this person who jogs through my town, and they look like a human muscle on top of bones. And no matter when you're driving, you see this person running, and I don't know them. But I always imagine if they weren't running, they'd be addicted to something. Like, that's just the vibe I have from them like that. Like, I know, I don't know that. It's a ridiculous thought to have, but it feels like a replacement hearing. I definitely got that 100% Feels like that. Like I just I think if I lock this person in a room with any of the things that you just mentioned, they'd be like, Why don't anymore because I'm going to do heroin, you know, like, and I'm going to do a great and 100 miles an hour, the best heroin user like I feel like that's the vibe is that how it felt like, like that, like, just, yeah,

Ashley 4:55
just anything, whatever. Whatever made me feel good. I wanted more of so it could have than a person that could have been really anything, you know, when I was younger, it was books. You know, I would stay up late in the middle of the night with a flashlight reading books. I liked Mary Higgins Clark. I was reading that in like seventh grade. Why? I don't know. But I did.

Scott Benner 5:14
Actually now making every parent of a reader worried.

Ashley 5:19
No, it's fine. It's not, don't worry about that. It's fine. Reading was good. I just, I didn't myself have any other source of expressing things. So I took everything to the extreme.

Scott Benner 5:32
This was not because of like a, like, you weren't filling a void, there wasn't something that you've noticed now as an adult that was missing. Oh, of

Ashley 5:42
course, we, you know, I've unpeeled all of the onions if you wanted to unwrap that route and got, you know, maybe not too close, but close enough, I think to realize some some patterns and things like that to change my life, you know,

Scott Benner 5:55
okay, well then swing around to how did that impact type one did it just like, if I'm, like, a million miles an hour, not gonna take care of it.

Ashley 6:04
I'm, pretty much I ran my Basal really high I didn't when I was when I was younger, and I was rebellious. And whatever the case may be, I ran my Basal really high because I was just not correcting. I wasn't carb counting. And I just did whatever I did when I look back on those things. When I see now like, I took a I went on vacation recently, and I took a walk right? Maybe it was like a half mile walk and my shoulder dropped. You know, because I didn't tempt my Basal. I didn't do the things that I would normally do now. And like my sugar tanked. If I was I don't know how that didn't happen to me when I was a kid, but it just never happened. Like I was never, maybe once I was in the hospital for DKA. And I've never used glucagon or any of those things.

Scott Benner 6:55
So yeah, you were like jacking up your Basal insulin so that you can eat with impunity and not think about covering carbs or any of that stuff. So just this a massive amount of basil, that data. And then

Ashley 7:07
yeah, almost like I knew that I needed the insulin and I knew if I was going to be a jerk, I needed to do something about it. My mom was still test your sugar, prick your finger, test your sugar prick your finger, you know, but after 1617 She wasn't getting through to me.

Scott Benner 7:27
So So up until then it was she was just badgering you to check.

Ashley 7:32
Yeah. And then I hit 18. And she, she took and, you know, she gave me control. And like, you know, it was my decision. I was an adult. Like, if I wanted to do the right thing. It was my time to do so. Yeah. Like she let me you know, hit that bottom. And every bottom has a trapdoor. So like, I hit all of those bottoms. My sugars, you know, by a Wednesday was like 1314. Wow, just regularly, and I felt fine. So

Scott Benner 8:00
you're, yeah, well, because you titrated it up to that spot where your body was just like handling the mess really like it? Yeah, it was letting you feel like you were okay. Even though obviously you weren't

Ashley 8:11
exactly I felt comfortable with my sugars at 300 all the time, you know?

Scott Benner 8:16
So let's juxtapose this conversation on to a different one for a second. So now you have a child who has type one. Yes. Okay. How old were they? When they were diagnosed?

Ashley 8:24
She was diagnosed at six, or maybe five. She was diagnosed at five and then she had her sixth birthday. This January, we're seven. How old?

Scott Benner 8:33
Is she now?

Ashley 8:36
Six and a half. Okay,

Scott Benner 8:37
so not too long. So let me just ask you this one simple question. You're going to dump all of her diabetes care onto her when she's 18? Or will she be too young?

Ashley 8:47
Ah, you want to know what I am so very conflicted by it. I am so very conflicted by that because like, I want to, you know, be overbearing, I want to send the text messages, I want to do all the things that I'm doing now, right now, she has an under a six a one, say, within one year of diagnosis, she has no restrictions. She does whatever she wants. And she's fine, you know, but like, when she gets older, I I feel like I want her to have control and like make the right decisions. Because like it wasn't, you know, I wasn't coddled, and I appreciate not being coddled, you know,

Scott Benner 9:25
is it a personality thing? Like, I don't mean like, so. It might be Yeah, cuz like, what you're seeing is kind of my thing in the right context might just be seen as like, supportive. Like, yeah,

Ashley 9:35
I want her to be able to make the right decision, right decisions and make the right choice and things like that, you know, I'm not going to tell her. I don't have an answer for that question. If she asked me for the help, obviously, but I'm not going to force it on her. You know, she needs to be responsible for our own actions, but that's probably because of the time I did getting clean and sober stuff, you know,

Scott Benner 9:56
yeah, you have a different perspective. Because what I was gonna say is if it if it If it takes her till she's 21 and a half to figure it out, like there's I don't see the value in just abandoning her at a number. Do you know what I mean? Like saying, well, you're 18 you're No,

Ashley 10:09
I mean, my mom definitely didn't abandon me at a number. But like, she put doctor's appointments on me. She put my refills on me and things like that. Yeah,

Scott Benner 10:18
that's, that's reasonable. Like, I'm not Yeah, that's a completely reasonable way to handle things. I just think it's the management part of it. You know, like the, hey, Mom, I'm 20. Like, I can imagine Arden calling me being 25 years old and being like, I'm about to have a really complicated meal. And I don't know, 100% know how to Bolus for this. You know, like, Do you have any insight, and I don't know that I would be disappointed to hear that phone call. I think I'd be like, Well, no, I

Ashley 10:42
definitely wouldn't be disappointed. But if we flipped it from my daughter asking me and I asked my mom that question, she'd be like, Are you kidding me? I have absolutely no idea. Once I switched from shots, and they put me on a pump. I think I was diagnosed in 2001. So I was in fourth grade. By the time I was in seventh grade, is when you know, the school is changed. I went to middle school, and that's when I started the insulin pump. Yeah. So once I started the pump, I was kind of like, you know, somewhat mature ish kind of person. I'm so I handled all of the pumping. Right? So she at this point, has no idea how to handle that. And it's funny watching her with the kid. Yeah, I'm

Scott Benner 11:22
realizing listening to you. And thinking back on other conversations, that when that trans transition happens, from MDI, to pumping, if it happens at a certain age, the parents don't come along for the ride. That's really common. Like, it's like, okay, well, this is a new thing. She's old enough, or he's old enough to understand it. I don't need to understand it as granularly as I did this, this previous management style. Yeah, exactly. I think that's pretty common. How does this is going to be a little bit of a side road, but how does overcoming an addiction? Change your perspective on what people need to mature? Huh?

Ashley 12:12
All right, so I was trying to think of how it's gonna work out. So I took a second. So like, they teach certain principles, they teach, like going through programs, they teach acceptance and things that you can change and things that you can't change. And then it allows you to realize that you're not in control of everything. And there's other things that play and just like the common you know, I don't want to call a dog my style of religion, because it's not religion. It's not book like that. But like, the concepts that most dogma styled religions incorporated are things they just kind of lay out in simple form. So like, things like, Okay, I listened to an episode about that the Eminem kid, right? So if we want to pull that all into play, like, I like my coffee, every time I drink coffee, I had an issue every single time. So I could accept that there's an issue with coffee, what can I do to change it? Or how can I better it? Or can I just not do it? Right. So then from that point, it gives me decision makings and options and things like that, it doesn't make me feel so backed into a corner with things Gotcha.

Scott Benner 13:16
Okay, yeah, I just I'm trying to, like, the more people talk about things like this, the more addiction seems like an odd like, like the other side of a coin of control, like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm looking for something to control, I can control how much or how little of this I eat, how much or how little I run, how much or how little I'm high, like that kind of stuff. Like that seems like the control part.

Ashley 13:41
Yeah, then that's, that's my everyday life. Like, I don't obviously use anything recreationally and things like that, you know, I'm not the mess that I was when I was, you know, but all those things still come into play. I go through days. Right now we're doing an experiment. So my partner, I'm with a female, I've been with her since 2008. We had, you know, breaks in our relationship and things like that. But so regardless, my part, my partner is now wearing a Dexcom. So we've been you know, feeding her things and trying to see what's going on and you don't care and I totally lost when I was,

Scott Benner 14:19
that's okay. I happened to me too.

Ashley 14:23
I talked too much all the time. So we're doing that okay. So the control issue and the wanting more, that's where I was going. She's wearing the Dexcom and like, it bothers me watching a normal pancreas work right. So now I'm being more carb conscious and making you know, better timing decisions and things like that. And we can even bring it to like when the baby was diagnosed, she was diagnosed that like a nine point something. The next couple of months, she came back down to under a seven. So I was like, How does she have better effing blood sugar's than I do? Like I'm handling everything. Why is this better for her what was the so like that ego and the competition and the wanting better and like the that, that that addiction concept like she's doing better than me? That's not possible, you know? So then I started doing more and more for yourself, for myself. Exactly

Scott Benner 15:17
right. That's fascinating. It is fascinating to hear that if you see someone without diabetes wearing a Dexcom, you could be like, angry about

Ashley 15:25
it. And not that I'm angry, but like, I want to do it better. I see. Okay, like when you were talking when you were the Dexcom and you were comparing it with, you know, your daughter's information and things like that. You were mad that you couldn't Pre-Bolus Yeah. So like, I watch my partner and their body pretty much instantaneously. Pre-Bolus is them. The minute I start saying, like, I'm gonna cook dinner now, her sugar drops, the minute she starts eating, she drops a little bit more, and then the food picture back up. And I think that's wild. Like, how come my timing doesn't work like that. So that's what I'm doing now.

Scott Benner 16:02
Crazy. Do you hear Jenny say that your body through like smells? And like it anticipates that you're going to eat? And when you have a when you have a healthy pancreas, like it'll start to isn't that crazy? Like it starts to break down like that.

Ashley 16:16
I definitely believe that like how the brain can make a woman pregnant, like look pregnant, appear pregnant, have all the pregnancy symptoms, but not actually be pregnant.

Scott Benner 16:24
What do they call it? Is that still called hysterical pregnancy? Or do they have they changed that? That sounds like people I

Ashley 16:29
don't know. I would call it a placebo pregnancy. But I'm not really sure about that.

Scott Benner 16:33
I might be getting this from a episode of mash in the 70s.

Ashley 16:38
So Oh, you're aging yourself and man.

Scott Benner 16:42
They may have called it something different between. I'll tell you what hysterical pregnancy is. I can look it up. thing here. I think that's what it's called.

Ashley 16:51
Oh, I'm on it right now. And stearic or pregnancy false pregnancy. Yeah. psuedo sucks. ISIS is this I don't know. I'm not pharmaceutical.

Scott Benner 17:01
It's crazy. Okay. All right. So just a real quick question, because you mentioned that your partner's female. Your daughter is yours biologically.

Ashley 17:12
Mine biologically? Yes.

Scott Benner 17:14
I just I was just like, did they? Did they adopt a baby that had type one diabetes? Because that's some random?

Ashley 17:21
No, I imagine that. No, I actually, we had a break in our relationship over a course a couple years. We've been doing this since 2008. And we were young, whatever the case may be. I was confused if you want to call it that. I don't know. But I met my daughter's father. And I was with him for a couple years. And then we had the baby tried the whole thing. It just didn't

Scott Benner 17:41
work. Gotcha. Okay. Do you still is he still involved in like this? Yeah.

Ashley 17:45
I mean, we co parent with him. I'm not gonna say that it's the easiest, but they do great. For what it's worth, you know? Yeah. Is that we Becker, but we Becker because we're axes, you know?

Scott Benner 17:58
I mean, why wouldn't you? I don't, I don't understand talking to people that you used to date. So it the only time when you have to was because of children. And I understand every time

Ashley 18:08
we're in like a giant group chat. We have one with me, him. His sister has parents, my parents, then we have one with me, my partner him and his sister, we do this whole silly diabetes talk thing that custody is a little silly. We both see the baby or the child. Every day, for the most part, I handle mornings before school, he picks her up, you know, after school, we switch around dinner, and then we do it all over again.

Scott Benner 18:35
Excellent. Really? Sounds nice. I mean, nice, you know, for the, for the situation.

Ashley 18:41
Yeah, for the for what it's worth, it works out great. We live maybe 10 minutes away from each other, you know, we do our best for what it's worth, you know, that's where we get along, when we have to we do joint holidays, we do joint birthdays. And you know, I give them diabetes, cheat sheets, and you know, the whole to do,

Scott Benner 18:59
how did you come to such a reasonable agreement?

Ashley 19:04
Because it's not about us. It's not about me, it's not about him. He comes to the house and my blood sugar will skyrocket, you know? 30 points just because, you know, he's pissing me off, but like, it's about the baby. It's about the kid. It's not about me. I can handle that, you know, rise in my blood sugar.

Scott Benner 19:23
I think so. Did you did was this a was this a joint decision? Or Did one of you was one of you the one to say, hey, this isn't about us. So we're going to just have to, you know, deal with how we feel and and handle the things that are right for her.

Ashley 19:40
Even before the diabetes that kind of just worked like that. Okay.

Scott Benner 19:45
All right. So you split before she was diagnosed?

Ashley 19:47
Yeah, exactly. We were split for like three years before she was diagnosed. Okay,

Scott Benner 19:51
I have to take a drink. I'm sorry. Hold on one second. Here. Okay.

Okay, before we restart, just because I I know, I know this and I can't pick through it for some reason. do two things for me say coffee, coffee, and then tell me where you're from, like what state or city or where do you think I'm from? Sounds very New York. But yeah,

Ashley 20:16
I am from New York. I'm from Long Island. If you weren't

Scott Benner 20:19
on Long Island, I was like baffled, so I didn't

Ashley 20:25
know that's me born and raised. Yeah, coffee

Scott Benner 20:26
and pissed off so far are like two of my favorite things that you've said. Just it's, it's I don't know if other people here but it's, I find it to be a fun effect. But you of course, don't hear no big deal. Do I sound like I'm from Philly to you?

Ashley 20:46
I don't, I don't really know. I mean, I don't know I work in a call center. Right? So I deal with people of all walks of life all the time. I can't pick out where anyone's from ever thought

Scott Benner 20:56
I get lost in in the, in the wondering sometimes even when I'm on the phone with somebody from like, inevitably, whilst while someone at a call center is looking something up online. I'll just go real quickly. Like, are you in Nebraska? Like how do you

Ashley 21:10
know I have absolutely no idea about those things. But for a fun side fact that has no diabetes relations. I used to do the translation calls for Spanish appointments and things like that. And when I would be speaking with Spanish patients that you know, I'm relatively fluent. They would ask me if I'm from Brazil, and I'm like, No, I was born and raised in America on Long Island, you know, just here I am.

Scott Benner 21:37
Can I ask you a question that since you said that, I always dream of having to voice actors, rerecord pro tip episodes? Is that an impossible thing to do? In Spanish for me?

Ashley 21:53
I am not. I'm not the one for that. I'm not gonna do it. But you could be able to do it

Scott Benner 22:01
just cost money, right? Like, I'd have to pay somebody pretty well into it. Because they'd have to, I'm imagining they'd have to listen with headphones on but then speak into a microphone. Is that?

Ashley 22:12
Yeah, I mean, I, you could just transcript it and just have someone speak read it? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like narrate it. I guess, like an audio book type thing?

Scott Benner 22:24
Yeah. I don't know if that would get clumped like I don't. My problem is that, you know, a would be affording the talent to do the job and be that I don't speak Spanish, so I wouldn't be able to QC anything that was happening. Yeah, I wouldn't know. You wouldn't be able to verify it. Yeah. Like, I could have two people looking at me and like, let's just drop a couple of really horrible curse words in the middle here. He'll never know, you know, so I wouldn't be able to verify it. But it is one of the things I think about.

Ashley 22:48
I could definitely try and figure a way out about that. I think a lot I stay up late.

Scott Benner 22:55
What are you thinking about when you're up late?

Ashley 22:57
Oh, I'm, I'm kinda like a type A personality to an extent. So I'm one of those like, I'm going to make a grocery list. I'm going to do you know, a to do list I'm going to do with this list I'm going to do with that list. And then I'm going to do it all on paper. And then I'm like, Oh, why am I doing this on paper? Let me do it all digital. And then like, you know, the first hour on paper, and then the next hour and a half put in a digital and it's just a hole to do.

Scott Benner 23:21
How does your partner enjoy that aspect of your personality?

Ashley 23:25
Ah, okay, organizationally wise. Yeah, I say it works out well.

Scott Benner 23:30
So she always has like a good list at the grocery store. Or do you?

Ashley 23:35
We don't really grocery store we kind of do the whole either P Potter, you know, do the pickup from the store thing. I hate going in the grocery stores.

Scott Benner 23:42
No one likes going in there. No, I won't do it. Okay, okay. So I just I always imagined when I'm leaving the house to go pick up a couple of things. Like as I walk past Kelly, now that COVID is here, and Kelly works in our dining room. I always like I'm like, I'm gonna go to the store. And then I wait because I'm expecting to hear a piece of paper rip off of a pad. And be like, here are the things that I have written down over the last couple of days that we need. And when she doesn't hand me one, it's off putting to me.

Ashley 24:11
That's how she feels sometimes. So she doesn't normally do those types of things. I'll do the big list. And then I'm like, here, this is what you need to do. And it's all mostly already saved on the you know, saved on the stupid app anyway,

Scott Benner 24:22
does that make you feel good to see things come off the list?

Ashley 24:26
Yeah, okay. I'm one of those like so. So I wake the kid up around like seven o'clock or so or maybe I Pre-Bolus or around seven then I get her up at around 730 to do the whole thing, but I'm up but like, most days, I'm like a five o'clock 530 type of person because I like the quiet. I like the house. You know, no one's yelling at me. No one's asking me anything. And I don't get foot on the floor that way. If I wake up wait and there's chaos and you know people are already asking me if things I'm maybe it's not fun on the floor but it just automatically the minute I wake up, it's just blood sugar. Rise instantaneous.

Scott Benner 25:05
Will you describe that when your ex comes your blood sugar can go up? Is it just yeah, that's it or like life like life stuff? You think

Ashley 25:13
probably, I mean, maybe. But if you're up more than likely anxiety and things like that, but, you know, if I wake up by myself and no one's asking me for breakfast, or where's this or where's that? You know? I'm like, Ah, right, good. No rise on my bookshelf.

Scott Benner 25:29
Interesting. It'd be You said you stay up late, but You're up early. How late do you go to bed?

Ashley 25:35
Maybe like 1130 or so. Okay,

Scott Benner 25:37
so you're getting like six hours, maybe five, six hours a night?

Ashley 25:41
Something like that on a good night.

Scott Benner 25:43
Gotcha. Okay, how about baby stays with you overnight?

Ashley 25:49
Not always five nights out of the week.

Scott Benner 25:51
How do you find man? You know what, I didn't even ask this. I can't believe on my half an hour into this. Let me ask you some more diabetes related questions. Pumping both of you one of you

Ashley 26:01
both of us pumping both of us on Dex comms? When we, when she got diagnosed. That weekend, my partner was away and I was at my mom's house. And she kept saying like, she's drinking a lot of water. She's drinking a lot of water. And I'm like, Shut up my like, it's, you know, it's August, she's thirsty. And I'm not thinking anything of it. And Friday night, she wet the bed, which was abnormal. Thursday night, I'm sorry, Friday night to wet the bed Saturday night you wet the bed. That Sunday, I mentioned it to my mom and she was like, You should prick her effing finger. And like, you know, then I go home because I didn't have a kid or anything on me because I was an irresponsible person at the time. And you know, I couldn't do it. So I got home, pricked her finger, and I got the lovely Hi. So I call her father, like, Hey, we're gonna pick you up. Now we're going to the hospital. So we went to the hospital, we got the diagnosis, we came home that night with the emergency endo appointment the next day. And I walked in with my Dexcom I was like, here's a sensor, here's a transmitter, you're gonna put this on the baby before I leave here today, because there was no way that it was not going to happen like that. So I kind of forced their hand on it to put the Dexcom on or they fought me for a pump for you know, for as long as they could. You need to see the nutritionist, you need this, you need that you need this, you need that. So I booked the nutritionist appointment, and then I gave them a food walk that day. They want me to do a virtual with the nutritionist within a couple nebula within a couple of weeks. And then I got her on a Omnipod iros the other one not the new one. Yeah,

Scott Benner 27:38
well done. You had a Dexcom. But you also described yourself as not taking great care of yourself. So you had a CGM before you made the change to

Ashley 27:47
once I was pregnant. I met with you know, one of the reps at the time. This was 2015 and they put me on one of the old scary ones that you had to like, hold all weird and have like the holding right and the sticky right? And you had to like break things off. And it was a whole scary mess. But so I started using one of those back then and I stockpiled it because I didn't always wear them all the time. Okay, you know, closer to the time of

Scott Benner 28:14
Yeah, gotcha. I understand what what made you begin to take better care of yourself. Was it that wasn't the pregnancy? Was it

Ashley 28:21
the pregnancy I ended up with? I think I delivered at like a 5.8 and then my a one same thing. Did

Scott Benner 28:28
you go right back to how you were before after the pregnancy was over?

Ashley 28:31
Um I stayed at like a seven. Okay, for the most part. I said I like a seven a for anyone say somewhere around there. Maybe a little higher, maybe a little lower.

Scott Benner 28:41
Where are you now?

Ashley 28:43
I am my West a one C was maybe a month ago and I'll pull it up from my quest app because I don't want to lie on recording.

Scott Benner 28:56
That's what you're worried about.

Ashley 28:58
Well, yeah, actually, you want to know what Yes, I actually stayed up a lot thinking about this because there are, you know, I was nervous about parts of my life that I may not have wanted to come out but because of programs you know, I've done experience strength and hope types of like conversations like I've sat in front of a room before and spoke about, you know, hard drug addiction for 20 minutes and like if I came on to you, and I lied for an hour Who am I helping? I didn't want to do that. So I tossed in charge. And here I am not wanting

Scott Benner 29:35
like this podcast, don't you?

Ashley 29:37
Um, I think it's interesting to be honest, I may not listen to like the interviews but okay, listening to the pro tips. It was kinda like He's not wrong type of thing. Oh, this

Scott Benner 29:49
so I'm interested by this. So you're doing an interview, but you don't particularly enjoy the interviews.

Ashley 29:56
Yeah, I guess I don't know. I just I don't have the time in my life. I can have, you know I want to know how to fix my diesel so I'm gonna listen to that diesel pro tip for God knows how long but I don't have the time I'm doing I work nine to six. I deal with the kid you know she gets home at six I'm doing dinner I'm doing homework. She's in bed by eight, eight o'clock I'm cleaning up from everything and

Scott Benner 30:18
no, I understand I listen. There's a TV show. I've been trying to watch for three years and I don't have time to watch it. It's not that I don't get that. I just think you referenced the couple things that made me think like she's listened to this.

Ashley 30:29
Oh, I have I've definitely listened to some I've listened to you know, some after dark episodes, I listened to the the young Russian girl I thought she was hysterical. I listened to your daughter's episode. I've listened to a few but I don't actively,

Scott Benner 30:43
actively listen to the interviews. But then what made you want to come and do an interview?

Ashley 30:48
I was intrigued by what you had to say. And you know, I I agree with a lot of the things that you say and things like that. And I thought, you know, because of my program. And you could if you could see me I'm sitting here I'm making like a silly face and silly arms and stuff like that. But like, if I could help just one person, you know what I mean? That's really all that I wanted.

Scott Benner 31:08
I'm up for? What's what most of what is the fixed point?

Ashley 31:11
Oh, I'm sorry. My ANC as of October 4 was 6.2.

Scott Benner 31:15
Well, congratulations. That's excellent. You're still you're managing yourself and your daughter in a co parenting situation. You both have very respectable agencies. How about what do you see? And in terms of variability? Where do you like to keep your what range Do you like to keep your blood sugar?

Ashley 31:34
Um, I, my alerts are 70 and 130. But I'm a strange character. I don't. So when we were younger, diabetes wise, they had me on like the old insulin that my mom had to know what my carb count for the day was before, like, giving me any type of insulin. So I was on strict meals at this time, this and this and that, and it was a whole, like feed the insulin type thing. Once I started the pump, the manipulation of the insulin was a game changer for me. So I pretty much go all day I wake up and I drank six or seven cups of coffee and I don't eat dinner until like six o'clock. 630. So my fasting, no variables involved, like my day basil was great. But my carb counts if aren't particularly correct at all times.

Scott Benner 32:30
Okay, do you do not eat a lot? Because you're not hungry? Are you trying to manage your blood sugar that way?

Ashley 32:38
I just don't eat like that. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, I'm more. I'm not a carb count person. I'm not a carb ratio person. I'm more of like, like when you said it, I heard you say it before in an episode like, that looks like it's six units of insulin. And like, I get that, you know, I can't tell you how many carbs are on that plate. But I'm going to need more than five units to start for sure.

Scott Benner 33:05
Yeah, no, I definitely believe in that. Okay, how did you find the show?

Ashley 33:13
The baby was diagnosed. And then I was sent home at midnight, and I was up till four o'clock having no idea what to do.

Scott Benner 33:20
So you're just looking around online? Yeah.

Ashley 33:23
That's interesting. Then I joined the group I saw people had to say and like, I didn't realize diabetes existed, like, online. I? Yeah, at all. Like, in general, I thought it was a myth. I swear, I swear on everything. I thought it was a myth. I didn't know anyone who had it. I didn't know. It was like a possible thing. And I just kind of like, didn't talk about it and dealt with it. So like, all these people online, were talking about Dexcom graphs and doing this and doing that and like, I want it to be better, because that's just I have a sense of entitlement. And I wanted to do better than the graphs that I was seeing. And that's where I

Scott Benner 34:04
am. Okay. I have two questions. First, when you say because you've said a number of times that you have a sense of entitlement. Is that something that you believe about yourself? Or is that something someone told you?

Ashley 34:15
I'm probably both at one point. I just, I was in a relationship at one point, not with my current partner, not with my daughter's father. That was not the healthiest. It was a little narcissistic, to say the least. So like, at one point, I realized what I deserved and what I was worth and things like that. So I don't like settling. Yeah, for other than that at this point. So I think it's a self grown sense of entitlement. I don't like the way that I'm feeling so I want to feel better. So I'm going to do better type of thing. I guess

Scott Benner 34:55
I have to tell you that I don't see that as feeling entitled. Like I don't think wanting to do better for yourself. Unless you're using that word in a way that I'm misunderstanding like, I don't see,

Ashley 35:05
maybe I'm not using it right. Well, that would be maybe, I don't know, let's find

Scott Benner 35:08
out. I, I think when you say that when anybody says that, I think of the idea that you feel like you deserve something without having to put in any effort. Yeah. Okay. But do you feel like do Is that how you feel? Like, is this something you deserve? You should just have it.

Ashley 35:28
Mmm hmm. After 20 years, maybe, you know, I feel like I should have better control. Oh, okay. Things like that. I don't know, maybe. I don't know,

Scott Benner 35:39
though. So maybe it's like, well, I've been in this game for a long time like this can't like this can't possibly keep happening to me. Like, right. That's not fair. Like I've done this for a while. Yeah, I should know how to do this by now. Okay. All right. I just want to understand what you're saying. I wanted to make sure I understood what you're saying. But now,

Ashley 35:55
maybe I wasn't saying it. Right. I don't know.

Scott Benner 35:57
It's, it's okay. I I really just want to, I want to make sure that you're clear that my second question was, you wanted to do this, so you could try to help somebody else. So what is it from having diabetes for as long as you've had for living through an addiction for having a baby who now has type one diabetes? What is it you think people should know?

Today, I will be taking these few moments in the middle of the podcast to tell you about the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. Are you on MDI right now giving yourself injections? Would you like to get rid of those multiple daily injections? You can you can get your insulin delivered through this wearable little pod called Omni pod. Maybe you're using a different pump, and it's got a whole bunch of tubing on it. And that tubing is sneaking through your bra and up your shirt and down through your jeans and you think I don't like this all this tubing. Well, I'm the pod doesn't have tubing. So that might be a nice thing for you to do. You know, make the little switch. You can you know, you may actually be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the army pod dash. I did not time that statement to coincide with a magical music. It just happened because the Omni pod is magic. All right, listen. My daughter has been using an omni pod. Since she was four years old, she is going to be 18. This summer, she has been wearing one every day for all that time, it has been a fantastic partner with her and her insulin on the pod lets you bathe and swim without taking off your pump. That's a big deal. It allows you to involve yourself in sports or other frolicking activities without having to take off your pump. When you take off your pump. You're not getting insulin anymore. And that's not okay. So all those two pumps that have to come off when you're playing soccer, or going for a run or whatever it is, I don't know, wherever you're like you're roughhousing. You know what I mean? I'm saying sacks, like stuff like that, right? You can leave your pump on for that. When you have the Omni pod, and you get a nice even delivery of insulin just the way you're supposed to. There's no tubes to get caught on doors. Sure, that's a pretty cool thing. But mainly the Omni pod is small, it's very wearable, it goes right on to you. Right, and then there's no tubes that come off of it. There's also no controller that's connected to the pod. So when you make decisions in the personal diabetes matter and little PDM that thing is wireless. Understand, nothing's connected to you, nothing has to hang on your belt, nothing has to come off for you to get in the shower. It's pretty damn cool. I'm the pod.com forward slash juice box head there now see if you're eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod Dash. And if you're waiting for the Omni pod five, there's no need. Because with the on the pod promise, you can start with the dash today and switch to Omni pod five. When it's covered by your insurance, no muss, no fuss. One link covers them all. You can get started today, you can find out more, you can learn about the Omni pod promise you can find out if you're eligible for a free 30 day supply of the dash. Or you can get full safety risk information and free trial Terms and Conditions. All these things, right. All this stuff that you might need. It exists in one place on the pod.com Ford slash juicebox. For full safety risk information and Omni pod promised Terms and Conditions. Just visit that link. There are also links in the show notes of the podcast player that you're listening in right now. And links at juicebox podcast.com on the pod I don't know what else I could tell you it's Awesome. You know what, I'm gonna bleep that out. I'm not supposed to curse the ads, but it really is awesome

Ashley 40:22
I would just say keep it simple. That's really all that it comes down to, like I see. I see a lot of things about my diabetic kid, I'll left the house again without their bag. What am I supposed to do? Like, depending on their age, you know, teenagers wise, keep everything in their car, keep maybe not a vial insulin, but pump supplies, Dexcom supplies, finger test supplies, like 1617 years old, they're gonna want their car no matter what they're doing. And if it's in their car, they're always going to have it. Like I don't go anywhere without my car. I don't carry a big giant bag with supplies for me and the kid and the whole to do like that'd be a really big bag. I keep like a makeup case in my car with supplies. I carry a finger sticker and like loose land sets and strips and a little thing in my bag and call today does take up a square me and call it a day.

Scott Benner 41:19
Does it wait pick up what?

Ashley 41:21
The swimming? I don't think I say it right? The nasal injector. I don't say it right.

Scott Benner 41:26
That's excellent. Your glucagon is the nasal injected glucagon. You keep saying yeah, you keep saying misquote me. I like that better. Don't worry. So are you saying that big picture, when you see parents of children with type one kind of, you know, like doing too much being upset and worrying about everything that you're saying, Look, yeah, some of these things that you're worrying about. You don't need to be as worried about so I feel

Ashley 41:50
Yeah, don't don't worry about it. I mean, worry about it. But don't take it to the extreme. Like, I keep supplies for, for me at this point in my life. Not in the past. At this point in my life. I keep supplies for me and the kid in the car. at my mom's house. When I was in the office, I kept supplies on my desk. And like, I never had to carry about it like, what am I? What else am I doing? I'm at work. I'm at my mom's or I'm at my own house. I don't need a giant thing as supplies. If I'm going to the grocery store, I don't need the whole 50 pound bag. If I'm going shopping for a couple hours, I don't need the whole 50 pound bag, you know, so I think vacation is a different story. But simple day to day activities is just right. Simple.

Scott Benner 42:36
The way I see it is that people are online, normally, in a moment when they're unsure. Like even looking at you like you found the podcast in a moment where you were unsure, right so that people get online. They're new, they're trying to make sure everything's okay. They're you know, parents are trying to keep their kids safe. And there's overkill and but after time, I think you figure out what's overkill. And what's necessary for a good example would be that Arden went back to high school this year after COVID for her senior year. And it was like four days into like four days into the into the new school year. And I said to her Do you think we should like take the nurse some supplies or something? And she's like, I don't know if you want to sit Okay. Well, we'll just give her like an extra pot and some other stuff. And you know, give her your glucagon. And like can

Ashley 43:26
your school change it for her or she's pretty much self administering at this point. So they can't doesn't even matter.

Scott Benner 43:32
Yeah, they wouldn't touch her. I don't think anyone there's I mean, I don't think No one's ever touched her insulin pump or anything like that. I just mean like the, the idea of like, you know, you see people who spread juices boxes into every room their kid goes into which by the way at some point when my daughter was like six or seven there was a little supply in every place that she'd be. But as she got older, that became less than less than necessary. Arden has a small makeup bag with a juice box in it. It has a Contour Next One blood glucose meter and it has a lance some test strips to go with a meter G vote hypo pen. I don't think there's anything else in there. And to be honest, she only she's only started carrying glucagon since it has become easier to carry like since since she voc has happened because prior to that, like I did not have her carry around like that big like that red box with all you know like

Ashley 44:28
Yeah, and I don't remember carrying that thing around either as a child

Scott Benner 44:31
Yeah, I just that's a it's a strange I mean I get it like if she used to have them like the nurse had one but I never Yeah,

Ashley 44:39
they're always in the school, the school box supply and you know, in the home but yeah, regular day to day carrying it wasn't something that I thought to bring. Right. So

Scott Benner 44:48
I think that people I mean, maybe not everyone, but I think everyone starts out super enthusiastic. You know, and you've you've seen the pictures online like big, like plastic boxes and there's you know Yo label makers on the front to explain Oh no. And

Ashley 45:03
I felt weird this year sending in my box, comparing my school boxes for the kid to everyone else's school boxes. I'm like, am I not doing this right? And like, I felt weird about how little I sent but like, she doesn't need anything. And I need to go crazy.

Scott Benner 45:18
So you don't have that feeling because you've lived through diabetes. And you don't you don't think like, oh, I have to have everything that we've ever owned that has anything to do with type one with us at all times.

Ashley 45:30
Yeah, pretty much I just, it's, it's a regular it. I set it to someone recently, and another group that I'm in something like, walk hand in hand and you're with your diabetes, so you're not, you know, one or the others not dragging the other around. Like, if you know, you're not going to avoid certain foods, like just figure out how to Bolus for it. If you know, like, you don't need all this extra nonsense all the time. Like there's a time and place for everything. But keep it easy on your regular day to day, you don't need an extra 50 pound bag, you could just breathe, it's okay, you're going to the grocery store who's going to rip the pot out, you know, you're sitting calmly the baby sitting calmly and the thing is, I don't think they're gonna I mean, maybe a baby might but you know, my six year old sitting in the car, and she's not going to rip a pot off. I don't need to bring 50 pots with me in case of

Scott Benner 46:21
Yeah, I have like a distance in my mind as a driving distance. Usually, if I'm going to be, you know, 30 minutes from the house, but we're just going to the mall and the Ardennes pods in like 18 hours old. I think this will be okay. If our pods you know, almost, it's 70 hours old. And we're going to the same place. I might think I'll bring in a pump just in case only because I don't want to be there in the middle of something and then have to

Ashley 46:48
exactly yeah. But that's why I keep it on the car already. If I'm if we're doing a family thing. I'm the one that's driving I have the Jeep you know, so I keep everything in the car already. If something happens, it's already in the car. Replace it next time I go home. Yep. Yeah, that's not like a constant thought of it was just like that was one of the easy things that I could do because I am a headless chicken half the time I'm running. Where's my phone? Where's my glasses? Where's this? Where's that? matching that with diabetes supplies? Where's my pod? Where's this? Where's that? Where's my PDM? You know what I mean?

Scott Benner 47:20
Yeah, absolutely disaster. If you listen to more of the interview episodes, you'd know not to say stuff like that, because your episode can easily get called headless chicken now, and

Ashley 47:28
oh, I would love that would be great. Actually headless chicken. I thought I thought you were gonna use the two babies and a baby I'm sorry, the lesbians and baby daddy co parenting dual diabetes, but you're gonna have something around those lines. I'll take her was checking the last

Scott Benner 47:43
42 minutes I've just been me basically trying not to ask you how often your ex tries to have sex with you and your partner. So like, or how many times he like playfully brings, there's

Ashley 47:53
always one conversation on how we do like, we do like a quick easy bar crawl kinda I don't know, we take the kids trick or treating. We go with a whole group of kids, you know, the adults have their drinks and the kids do the running and the candy thing. Then we end up down at one of the bar at one of the bars where the kids could sit down and eat we sit down and eat and that's a good time. So once those drinks start happening is Windows.

Scott Benner 48:20
When the joke I mean, it's all joking. It's all joking, of course like, oh, we have a cute kid, right? Like, oh, yeah, yeah, actually, he's joking. Unless you say okay, and then he's not joking anymore. Like, one time?

Ashley 48:33
Oh, there's so many things I want to say when they listened to and they're great people. They're great people. So I don't want to say anything like that. They're great. It wasn't anything like that. Whatever.

Scott Benner 48:44
I got that off my by the back of my brain to think about that. He only

Ashley 48:47
asked once, once every year when they're drunk. Maybe joke, maybe not.

Scott Benner 48:54
We'll find out. How do you handle? Are you do you drink? Still? Or do you not?

Ashley 49:00
Have I actually I do I do drink. I do live in a legal state recreational wise as well. But I wouldn't say that's a everyday type thing. I definitely do not for those listening who have heard me talk about recovery and programs and things like that. I don't count time. I don't do any of those types of things. But I live in a legal state. And alcohol is legal to so

Scott Benner 49:22
okay. So for you. The hardest, like avoiding the harder stuff

Ashley 49:28
is yeah, I won't even take Tylenol. If I had a headache. I don't take you know Mitel if I have my period, I don't like I stay away from that type of stuff. Interesting.

Scott Benner 49:37
Okay. That's really it's a it's a not a world I completely understand. But I have conversations where I'm starting to figure it out. But it's so it's nice. Yeah,

Ashley 49:48
I mean, I know my limits. I know when certain things shouldn't be a discussion. Like if we start talking about one thing too long, you know, let's not do that have this conversation anymore. It's the ideation Have the other things that will get you nervous.

Scott Benner 50:02
So you could have like thoughts that you'd be afraid would lead you to an action.

Ashley 50:07
Yeah, exactly. Gotcha. And that's something I've learned from the program, things like that.

Scott Benner 50:11
Gotcha. So you stay away from that kind of thing? How much yeah, do you do you mentor anybody? Or does someone mentor you? Or do you not do that? Oh,

Ashley 50:19
no, no, I'm an isolated isolated with all work from home thing I just, I you know, I upload my Google every night and go through all my data and then I do the kids and then I send out the group text message to the you know, other half of the kids family and say, Hey, look at this from today, should we change this? So I've replaced it with diabetes is really what I've done. Yeah. Okay, so you're on my list making and my diabetes

Scott Benner 50:42
you're putting your effort into this which is obviously working out really well because your agencies again are terrific in your ranges or do you keep the I liked that you call her the kid do you keep the kid is arranged like yours yours hers different.

Ashley 50:58
Um, my follow alerts go off at 160 But her phone alerts because you know, I have run a regular phone on so I can read it in school. I have them set the highest so they don't really go off and bother in school. Okay, so you she has a little bit more leeway than

Scott Benner 51:14
me. So you know prior to when somebody who's with her nose and like so yours will be but

Ashley 51:20
oh, they will everyone has the follow up on their. on their phone. Everyone either, you know, has the sugar made on their watch or whatever the case may be. We're all crazy. I'm actually looking at Oh, I don't know if I could say it because it's the thing. Am I like to say things like products? I don't care. I have one of those. My partner's just bought me one of those or two rather, because it was a two pack. They were kind of expensive. That's why one of those glucose bowls like the glowy thing that connects to the sugar mate and like I could see my sugars and stuff like that like in color.

Scott Benner 51:53
I've seen people talking about them online. I've never seen them. Yeah, I've seen it on your

Ashley 51:57
on on the Facebook, Facebook, that glucose thing. So I'm looking at that right now for everyone's colors. Just

Scott Benner 52:04
wow, I hate glucose. Have you experienced a uptick in sales and to figure out that it came from here I'd be open to selling you ads

Ashley 52:15
it's a great product guys like

Scott Benner 52:17
a little like that. I don't work for them like a ball right? That it changes colors or? Yeah, exactly.

Ashley 52:24
Does it make like a little LED ball when she's well it's red. And then the higher her number goes, it goes to like violet. When she's in range, it's green. Like right now I'm at you made me nervous in the beginning. So I you know temper my basil earlier today. And I ended up dipping a little bit I ate a cup of Skittles and now jumped up to 147. So my bowl was blue, but I could see that I'm okay and steady.

Scott Benner 52:51
You were nervous to come on the podcast.

Ashley 52:54
I was I normally most days I have to tempt my Basal up because of work for the most part anyway. Yeah, so I increase it a little bit more I got stuck at like 130. And then you know, I bumped it up just a little bit too much and came down to like 120. I thought a scale would fix it, but it didn't fix it. And now I'm 147

Scott Benner 53:15
Wow, you're really on top. It's interesting to talk to somebody who went from, like not paying attention to it to paying attention to it. So did you always know how to handle it? Or did like the advent of the CGM help you understand it better? Like, what's it the pro tip episodes like? Why do you Why are you so?

Ashley 53:36
I don't know. To be completely honest. I just I don't know.

Scott Benner 53:42
I figured it out where you cared?

Ashley 53:43
Yeah, it just happened. I guess it just it just kind of happened. It might have more to do with, you know, with the kid since we're going to call her that, because they're following her numbers too. So like, if I have her and like her numbers a little bit at a range. I'm like, Oh my God, they're gonna text me and they're gonna yell at me because their sugars are so high and I don't know what I'm going to do. So it was just more of like a felt like being watched type thing. So I just wanted to do better or show off maybe I don't know,

Scott Benner 54:09
somewhere between accountability and peacocking

Ashley 54:14
I guess Yeah. Okay. Exactly. Accountability. Like what I'm sorry,

Scott Benner 54:21
I'm saying accountability seems important to you. I think that's how a lot of your like, I think that's a lot of the ways that you've helped yourself is to be accountable. Yeah, you know, to her during your pregnancy or to yourself or her for her diabetes or to other people in your life. Because you've taken responsibility for a baby and other people care about that. So you want to be accountable like and that accountability seems to work for you.

Ashley 54:47
Yeah, I guess that's like, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Scott Benner 54:52
Doesn't make you feel badly right. Like you don't feel pressure. No,

Ashley 54:54
I like knowing that my word you know what I say mean? is what I say and like I can you know, answer that if you have a question, I'm not nervous to answer it. Authenticity, I guess I'm real you have not felt I want people to believe that, you know, like, I didn't want to come on to you and why that, you know, I wasn't a drug addict and I've been doing this great all these years now like I was a drug addict I had horrible blood sugar's I ended up cleaning myself up took a little bit better care. And then now it's exactly a peacock thing.

Scott Benner 55:29
Were you. Were you lying to people during a big part of your life?

Ashley 55:35
About everything? Okay. About everything? Yeah. How did you see the stars last night? No, it was cloudy. Why would you say that? I

Scott Benner 55:43
don't know. No idea. Just nothing was real.

Ashley 55:47
Yeah, nothing was real, I guess because the the the life quote unquote, that I was living didn't, I didn't want it to be real. So I said whatever I wanted to say just Howard Stern quote, unquote, I wanted to say things to get a reaction out of people, I see

Scott Benner 56:04
what I'm, when you're living like that. You're aware that you don't want to be or no.

Ashley 56:13
Um, I guess at one point, I had to be aware to make the decision to, you know, to make an actual decision to do something different. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting different results. If you do the same thing over and over again, you're always gonna get the same result. So if you do something different, that result is going to change, and that I use and diabetes all the time.

Scott Benner 56:38
Is there is there I want to, I'm gonna re ask my question, because I'm not sure I was clear. Oh, did

Ashley 56:44
I not answer? No, no, it's

Scott Benner 56:45
not that you didn't answer. I definitely wasn't clear. I'm gonna say that. Like, is there a moment in your life where you're using? And you're consciously thinking, I don't want to do this, but then you do it anyway. Where do you not consciously know that you want to not want to be or shouldn't be doing what you're doing? Like what's Is there any conflict while you're doing or does it just feel like the right thing?

Ashley 57:13
It was always a conflict. Okay, I, you know, I didn't want to steal my mom's jewelry. And I didn't want to point it at the pawn store. And I didn't want to use it for X, Y, and Z. But I still did it. And I still got caught. You know what I mean?

Scott Benner 57:27
You're standing in that pawn shop. Are you thinking, I cannot believe I'm selling this, but I need to because I need the money for drugs. For the most part, yeah. That's how it feels when I was alright. So it's not like an abandonment of your morality. It's just that it's been, it's being held down by the addiction. Like the morality is not as important as the addiction. Is that how that works?

Ashley 57:53
I don't know. I'm not really sure how it works. It's just I don't even know what the word to put to it is it just didn't matter. Like you know, as long as I could do this, I'd be able to get through this if I could get this I can get through this day. If I had x y&z I can go through my normal workday, right?

Scott Benner 58:14
I see. Okay, so just Yeah, yeah, it was

Ashley 58:17
just forced, I willingly handed everything over to it, because I had no other option. Or at least I thought, once I realized I had the option to stop is when the whole thing changed. Yeah. And I think that comes into play with everything with with diabetes with, with everything, once you make that decision that you're going to handle it better, or do something different, like you willingly make that choice every moment. And that's that so to

Scott Benner 58:44
you, if I'm going to extrapolate here a little bit, but to you, if you can be addicted like that, and recognize that that doesn't have to be your world and get out of it, then you're saying that we're then the assumption here is that around diabetes management, if you're feeling overwhelmed by it, like, oh, I can't do this, or this is more than I can do. The truth is, you probably can do it. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Okay. You just sort of have to decide to let go, Yeah,

Ashley 59:15
every everything is, and that's what I took away from, from all of those years of of using was that once I made a decision, like, I can stick to that, like my word meant something which is why I didn't want to come on and lie about that type of stuff, because I wanted my word to mean something. So like I now I've made a decision to upload my gluco every day because my phone buzzes at a certain time so I can make sure I go through my data. And if I willingly make that decision, I can consciously take care of my blood sugars to ensure I feel better the next day.

Scott Benner 59:47
That's excellent. I also want to try to give you a little bit of comfort like Ashley if you came on this podcast and decided not to talk about your addiction. You could be honest about your life without lying to me like omitting some thing wouldn't be lying. Now, if you change the story. Yes,

Ashley 1:00:05
yes and no, you know, to you it would feel like lying. Yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:00:10
I appreciate that a lot.

Ashley 1:00:12
I wanted everyone to know that, like, you know, no matter where they are at their diabetes management or where they are in their personal life choices, like, there's always an opportunity to do better, there's always a way to get yourself out of a situation if you're struggling with whatever type of food and like, you really don't want to let go of those lucky charms. Like, I did that with the kids, you wanted the stupid monkey charm. So I spent like two weeks with playing with Pre-Bolus thing and timing and manipulation of insulin and pulling it here and cutting it back from there. And like, I realized that just yesterday, she can, you know, take X, Y and Z of whatever her ratios are, and I don't want to give dosing instructions. Then I added seven minutes of jump roping to the stupid thing and a sugar state fine. She taught that at 130. With Lucky Charms came back down, I caught her with like, three apple slices and she stayed like 90. And like that took me so long to do. But I made the choice to continue trying to get it right. And that's that's why addiction is so part of my diabetes. Now,

Scott Benner 1:01:24
after it happened. Did you run around the house singing the lucky charm song? Like did you ever find yourself thinking this is magically delicious? I've done it like I usually have like you were really proud I would have been

Ashley 1:01:34
honestly, I think I was pissed because my blood sugar was high.

Scott Benner 1:01:39
So I did have a very similar thing with, you know, with cereal at one point, I just kept pushing and kept pushing until I figured out what did it and like you said it was I felt it's crazy, because Arden doesn't really eat cereal any longer. But when it happened in that moment, we did all the things that you kind of outlined, like we tried, didn't do a good job of it didn't have the right tools didn't have the right understanding. So she stopped eating it. And then one day, I thought I do have the tools and understanding how I bet you I could Bolus for this. And then I figured out how to do it. And then one day, she just sort of grew out of eating cereal anyway, it was like I don't want this anymore. All right, well, at least I know I can do it, then you apply what you've learned to a different situation or a different meal. Yeah. And then you just kind of grow with it. It's kind of exactly, it just takes time. Everything takes time. Like no matter where you start, you know, if you start on level ground or in a hole, if you just keep at it. Eventually, you get to the other side, I had this sort of weird. I was interviewing someone recently who had been married a number of times, and was a much older person, meaning like a person in their 70s. And it was super interesting to hear her talk about times in her life, that just were memories at this point. Like she had lived an entire life with a man, right, like they had been married and had children and owned a home and put their children through school and and he passed. And then there was time. And then she met another person and then lived another 35 years. And to hear her like, I'm not saying this right. But there was something I

Ashley 1:03:22
know what you're trying to say the different lifetimes and lifestyles, I know where you're going

Scott Benner 1:03:27
lifetimes inside of a lifetime. And how how she could remember back to that first one with just kind of joy. She only remembered the good stuff. And that none of the painful things that people think about day to day existed in her memory at all. And I was incredibly like, buoyed by that. I thought wow, like that's amazing. So so things, little things that you worry about day to day, are genuinely meaningless. And if you if you could find a way to understand that in the moment, everything would be so much better. And I wonder how then would you look back, like I realized not everybody is going to have a couple of like, families in a lifetime. Not everybody is going to live into their late 80s kind of thing. But there's there's a lesson from that. You know, that. And I think you've kind of figured it out too. Like you've lived through a really bad thing. That's now not part of your life anymore.

Ashley 1:04:26
Yeah, and I do I do feel like that I feel like three different people living inside one body.

Scott Benner 1:04:33
And the further you get away from that time in your life, the more it'll just seem like an education that you received, and less I imagined it'll feel like disappointment or pain. But you have to

Ashley 1:04:49
stay. Yeah, I guess so. Kinda like talking about things that happened like and for you maybe like things that happened at the beginning of yours and your wife's marriage, you know, talking about like, that one really big fight that you guys had, like, now you're not screaming at each other, you can laugh about it now.

Scott Benner 1:05:04
It's just there's a big, there's a big existential thought in there that you I'm gonna leave everyone listening on their own to at the end of this episode just to think about on your own. But if you stay alive long enough and you persevere and you don't give up everything you're worried about in the past, kind of doesn't matter. And yeah, that's cool. All right. Ashley, is there also Ashley in the kid is in my mind for a title as well. So we'll go back and forth figure it out. Is there actually in the kid works? I don't know. You sounded like you liked headless chicken.

Ashley 1:05:37
But oh, the headless chicken and the kid that could work? I'll tell

Scott Benner 1:05:41
you right now. Headless Chicken and the kid. Done deal. That's it right there. I'm gonna make a note. So I don't forget. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you hope to bring up today?

Ashley 1:05:54
Um, I would just say keep it simple. For everyone who's listening lower. Don't let your high alarms go off at 180 If you're not comfortable with your blood sugar at 180, set the alarms to go off earlier. Like, keep little easy go bags in your main designated places. Like just take things easy. You're gonna be dealing with this forever. Like, yeah, you always trip over the you know, you never trip over the big rock. It's always the little rocks that you trip over all the time. So just stay easy. And know what you need. That's all. Well, how you feel.

Scott Benner 1:06:27
Ashley, thank you very much. I really enjoyed this conversation. Oh, I hope so. Do you feel like you did what you wanted to do?

Ashley 1:06:36
Oh, I maybe I don't know. I just like talking. And I thought it would be fun to talk with you. I fangirled really hard when when I saw that post that you put up and I was like, I'm gonna blow this guy's mind. And I'm gonna send them a wild email. And it worked, obviously, because here I am.

Scott Benner 1:06:51
Do you think this is an after dark episode? Probably. It might be I think you might be right. I'm fascinated, like, really, that you wanted to do this so much. But that you didn't feel but you don't feel particularly Do you think there'll be Let me ask a different question. Do you think there'll be a time where you'll get more out of listening to other people's stories?

Ashley 1:07:16
I think I'm just half lazy half doing too much all the time. I've definitely listened to you know, the more commonly spoken about ones. But I just I don't know, when I got too much, I think to sit down and listen to someone

Scott Benner 1:07:32
that we're gonna have to get you a job where you're not wearing a headset so you can do other stuff.

Ashley 1:07:36
Yeah, exactly. I sit here with the headset, I get calls. If you know when the person hangs up, I get another call three seconds. And it's not like I could sit there and yeah, Facebook and listen to things. It's it is what it is. It pays my bills. My insurance is great. So excellent. I'll take it

Scott Benner 1:07:54
is there. I don't I don't think of this as weird. But I would like you to speak a sentence that includes the words pissed off coffee and call. Let's think about how we could do that real quickly.

Ashley 1:08:05
I got Oh, I got it right now. You ready? I don't even need the prompting. So I was drinking my coffee. And I received this call from whoever it was right. I was talking to dolly Johansson. And they were telling me how their husband was yelling at them. And you know, it pissed her off so much. I spilt my coffee. Perfect.

Scott Benner 1:08:25
Thank you. And by the way, we might now have to change the episode title to Molly Johansson. That was fantastic. I don't know where you came up with that. But that was wonderful. I love your accent.

Ashley 1:08:37
Have you seen? Have you seen the imposters on Netflix? No, I think what? Oh my god. Well, that's where it came from one of the main girls are her hidden name is Johnson without an H they see it all the time. And then one of her name she pretends to be as Molly so it just clicked. But watch the imposters? What do you mean don't watch them the pastor. That's why I can't listen to the episodes because I'm watching Netflix.

Scott Benner 1:08:59
I'm almost done squid games. My son is badgering me to watch what if? And I have I have that's pretty much it. So

Ashley 1:09:11
imposters is good. It's the did you watch Lucifer by any chance my

Scott Benner 1:09:15
wife watches Lucifer. I don't watch it.

Ashley 1:09:18
That the girl or the actress rather? Who plays Eve and Lucifer is the main character of imposters. So it's a good show. All right. All right. I'm on nice to look at.

Scott Benner 1:09:28
Oh, I see what you're saying. I gotcha. Well, then maybe I'll take it. Maybe I'll check it out. Well, we'll find out if you're if what you're attracted to is what I'm attracted to. I'll Google in a second try to figure it out.

Ashley 1:09:42
She doesn't look like my my wife or almost wife. We're getting married in April, but she doesn't look like her at all. Two different people. graduations. I

Scott Benner 1:09:49
didn't realize you were getting married.

Ashley 1:09:50
Oh, yeah. It's a whole to deal with me. Yeah, diabetes is the least of my worries for the most part.

Scott Benner 1:09:56
I said, I mean, we're done now, but let's just do this while we're together. So The Lucifer app. Sorry, this is the MP, you can go if you want people, but I'm going to figure out who this actress actress is for a second. Lucifer

Ashley 1:10:11
the dark haired girl all right. And bar lavvy.

Scott Benner 1:10:19
I got her. It's funny. I just looked like a bunch of women popped up in front of me on Google and I went to the one with the dark hair right away to say, you and I might be on the same page. Ashley? Alright, so this, she's about your speed.

Ashley 1:10:35
I mean, she's nice to look at, but my wife is blonde.

Scott Benner 1:10:39
It's interesting. All right. So you don't care. Blonde, brunette, tall, short doesn't matter to you.

Ashley 1:10:47
Um, I don't even know if it's a gender thing. If we even want to have that part of conversation. I like how you make me feel like obviously, I had some type of feelings for my daughter's father, right? Like you have a baby together. You know?

Scott Benner 1:10:58
So it's like,

Ashley 1:11:00
yeah, yeah. How they make me feel who they are as a person. Like, I've been me and my partner have been doing this dancin for 12 years, you know, three years on, then we broke up and then you know, we're back on like four years at this point with a engagement and a wedding. And

Scott Benner 1:11:19
by the way, I'm fascinated by how short actors and actresses are. Like as soon as this big picture in bar popped up, I'm like, That is a tiny little person. And then that made me Google. In bar lobby height. She's five, three, you know, she's probably lying about that.

Ashley 1:11:34
So oh, probably. My license is 5325353 house dollar. Now I'm a little bit shorter. Maybe I'm like five, maybe 5152 unreality.

Scott Benner 1:11:45
I say five three, Scott, but I'm 411. All right. Alright, we're definitely done. Now. I really appreciate this. Hold on one sec.

Ashley 1:11:53
Oh, I appreciate you. I loved it. Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:12:03
First off, a huge thank you to Ashley for coming on the show and sharing her story so openly with all of us. And of course, I'd also like to thank Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and they on the pod promise. Head over now to Omni pod.com forward slash juice box to get started today, you may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod Dash. And don't forget to find 10 minutes today to go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. Join the registry, fill out the survey help people with type one diabetes. I'm going to say a few things after the music but if you don't want to hear them, just hear this and go. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Okay, quick stuff, little what they call housekeeping for the podcast. Check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. A private group where people are talking about using insulin. How many members are there 22,000 and counting. Earlier I made up said 23,000. But I got ahead of myself. We're almost at 23,000 I mean, listen to a lot of people. They're all really cool. You should check it out. Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. Are you looking for the diabetes Pro Tip series. It begins at episode 210. In your podcast player, it's also available at diabetes pro tip.com and juicebox podcast.com. If you're newly diagnosed and don't understand a lot of the words you're hearing around diabetes. The defining diabetes series begins at episode 236. There are currently 36 episodes that are defined. You can also find those at Juicebox Podcast Icom and at diabetes pro tip.com. We have just finished the defining thyroid series which began at episode 616. That's a 10 episode series about fibroid disease. Don't miss it. Trust me. Trust, there's a lot to know. But it's easier to understand than you think. And when you have good information, your thyroid care will be a lot better and so will your life. What else do I want to tell you about before I go? I am a fan of the variable series that begins at episode 491. That's 22 episodes, where Jenny Smith and I talk about variables that impact your life with type one. Some of them are expected and some of them not so much. How about like pumped site placement, alcohol hydration travel, jumping on a trampoline, and so much more. diabetes variable series begins at episode 491 Do you ever eat french fries and and an hour and a half later your blood sugar goes up and you don't know why does that happen to you? You might want to check out episode 360 Defining diabetes, fat and protein rise and Episode 263, diabetes, pro tip fat and protein. You also might want to look at episode 264 bolusing for keto, or episode 471 bolusing insulin for fat. How about that? Did you know you might need insulin for fat and protein? You do now, head over and check it out. There are so much to choose from at the Juicebox Podcast some things for everyone you might say. Like Lastly, if you're loving the show, and you think you might know somebody else who would love it to please take the time to share the show. It is how it grows. It is the only way that it grows, word of mouth. So get out there and tell a friend. Like I said before, I really appreciate you listening, and I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.