Scott Benner 1/4/21 Scott Benner 1/4/21

#425 Wine, Beans, Babies and Q

Dr. Q to the Rescue!

Jill was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as an adult. She is delightful and this story is crazy.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends Hello, should I welcome you to Episode 425? Should I say this is the beginning of season seven? Or should I wish you a Happy 2021? Yeah, who cares? This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod Dexcom and touched by type one. Find out more about the sponsors at Juicebox Podcast comm we're right there in the show notes of your podcast player. And of course, you can always type my omnipod.com forward slash juice box dexcom.com forward slash juice box or touched by type one.org in any browser that you have at your fingertips.

I've taken a couple of weeks off to celebrate the holiday with my family. And I'm back at it. You might not have noticed, because you know, I made sure that the podcast kept coming. But I am refreshed. I'm enthusiastic. I am happy to be out of 2020. And I have for you today an absolutely astounding story from a type one named Jill. You're going to love it. It's got intrigue and twists and turns. There's babies and odd diagnoses. There's even wine.

Jill 1:41
I never wear headphones. I feel like I'm yelling right now. Like, am I talking loud? Am I talking quiet?

Scott Benner 1:47
You're perfect. Just do what you're doing? Do you feel like you can hear your own voice? Or no,

Jill 1:53
I'm wearing like noise cancelling headphones. That's all we had. So it just feels like I don't know what my volume is. But if you say it's fine, then I'll just keep on going.

Scott Benner 2:02
We're terrific. Sounds great. Don't think about anything, we're gonna start right away. I'm super excited to talk to you tell people your name.

Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making changes to your health care plan. or becoming bold with insulin. We're gonna do a little thing here in 2021, kind of a book club I'm going to tell you about at the end of the episode, but basically, if you go, I don't want to give it all away here. But we're gonna go over the pro tip episodes and then have live chats about them if you'd like to be involved. There. That was a simple way of saying it. Let's listen to this. And I'll tell you about that.

Jill 2:53
My name is Jill Woodruff.

Scott Benner 2:56
Good, perfect. And Jill has such a great story. Like it's fascinating. This is gonna be early, mid 2019. You and I mean, is that right? Yep. Okay, tell people what happened to you.

Jill 3:12
Um, so I was sick for a little while, but I didn't really know I was sick. And then in January,

Unknown Speaker 3:21
I

Jill 3:22
went to urgent care for a yeast infection. And I was like, why do I have a yeast infection? I haven't had that since I was, you know, very young. And I don't know why I would have that. You know, so I I went to urgent care. And they did a pee test. In the pee test. Of course, the urgent care doctor came back and was like, you have a lot of sugar in your pee. And I was like, Okay, I don't know what that means. You should

Scott Benner 3:45
have said of course I do. I'm baking bread and my vagina.

Jill 3:48
Right. I was like, Okay, well, great. Like I'm it's super uncomfortable. Can we just get this over with?

Unknown Speaker 3:54
Yeah, yeah. The fun conversation, Joe.

Jill 3:58
Yeah, he just wanted to run some tests. I'm like, okay, so he goes, and then he comes back and just was like, you know, dropped. It was just like, yeah, you're, you're diabetic. And that was just like, totally out of left field. Because I just went in for something. I thought was just like, another simp. You know, like a woman thing. Just simple. Give me the antibiotics. So we can be done with this. And ended up being like a whole whole thing. Yeah, no

Scott Benner 4:22
kidding. So then do you go right to your primary care doctor, or what do you do then?

Jill 4:27
So I'm really irresponsible. I'm gonna say it's because I'm a millennial, but maybe that's not it. So at the time, I had just turned 30 like two weeks prior. And I feel like I just didn't have like a primary care doctor. I always had Kaiser Permanente, whatever they were before, I can't remember the name, but I always had that kind of doctor. We just kind of go in if you had something, you would see whoever was available. So I didn't have anyone that I had established care with. So I just had an urgent care doctor, I didn't ever really have a real doctor air quotes, right?

Scott Benner 5:05
Because whoever came out from behind the curtain when you were there,

Jill 5:07
yeah. And I didn't really have any health issues before. So I just went in when I had the flu, or you know, for little things, but I didn't have a regular doctor. So this stranger kind of dropped the ball on me. And I was like, Oh, this is why grown up. Like having like an a primary care physician that they know in case something happens,

Scott Benner 5:28
the tiniest bit of like, I know this person while they're telling you things. Well, you know, last week, I had a pinched nerve in my shoulder. And I didn't go to my doctor, I went to a urgent care too, because all I really wanted was like a muscle relaxer, because I was like, my shoulder was spasming. And I was like, I just need this to stop. Yeah, I would have called my doctor, he would have been like, yeah, we can see you in like, maybe 10 days. And you know, it's like, right,

Jill 5:52
it's a whole thing.

Scott Benner 5:54
I can drive up the street, there's a man with a prescription pad and the whole thing's legal. So yep. Now, so, okay, well, you have what was your understanding of diabetes, leaving urgent care?

Jill 6:07
Oh, no, no understanding. So, um, I do want to be clear, like, I'm not blaming my doctors, because now I do kind of understand. You know, like, not everybody's a specialist in diabetes. When I went in, my understanding was, you're a professional, you went to college, you should be giving me obviously, all the information about what you've just told me. I left in total shock. I was like, Okay, I have no idea what to do. He told me to make an appointment with a primary care physician to follow up, and I'm like, okay, I don't have one of those. So I guess I'll just pick someone on this list at this facility. Here wrote me a prescription for Metformin. They had just, they had diagnosed me as type two because of my age. And wrote me a prescription for the Lancet and like the finger prick or whatever. And that's kind of it. I didn't have any information about what to do with any of it. I remember I went to Target to fill my prescription in a total days, because I was like, What is happening? Like, what am I even going to do with this? And I remember, the pharmacist was asking me like, which, I'm sorry, what's the fingerprick are called,

Scott Benner 7:27
like the lance.

Jill 7:29
The Lance is out, as I call it, a finger picker

Unknown Speaker 7:32
was very sophisticated.

Scott Benner 7:33
You know what it is, when you're reaching for it? I think you're fine.

Jill 7:37
You know, there's different brands. And I remember the pharmacist asked me like, which, which brand was it that the doctor needed you to get? And I was like, I just looked at her. I was like, I don't know, what did what does the prescription? I have no idea. I know as much. I know, way less than you. Right? I was just so frustrated. And I just came home and I was like, What do I even do with any of this? I don't know. I don't even know how to prick my finger like am I supposed to? I had no information at all. So that was really frustrating. I ended up YouTubing. How to do it. Wow. It was just so dramatic. Because also like, I don't like pain. I've never I'm not like a tough cookie about anything. You know, if I am hurting, I'm hurting. And so even just a simple thing, like pricking my finger was just a whole ordeal. I remember hours in the kitchen, pacing back and forth, and now like cracks me up, because it's like nothing, but I remember just like, holding my breath before I would, you know, stick my stick my little finger and get the blood out. And there was just this whole 30 year old woman and I remember just feeling so embarrassed that it was so hard.

Scott Benner 8:51
Oh my god, I so far. All I can think of is that everything I've thought to call this episode is too wordy. But Joe can't pick a prick was one of them. You know, Joe's cookie isn't tough, you know? Or, you know, and you didn't even tell us if he gave you medicine for the yeast infection, which I'm still wondering about I don't even know why. Just like what about the vagina? Is that thing okay to like, What's going on there? Did you Did he at least give you something for that?

Jill 9:20
So apparently, yes. Apparently that was like not a big problem. But apparently he said that. Because of all the sugar. Obviously like that can trigger a yeast infection. I told you like I'm, I was so confused that I even had it in the first place. Like I think I've had one maybe once in my youth. And that's it. I was like, What is happening? Why do I have this and it was an aggressive yeast infection. It was horrible.

Scott Benner 9:45
Joe had an aggressive yeast infection.

Jill 9:48
That'll get everybody to listen. But apparently that's a common thing that happens if you have undiagnosed diabetes, you know, you have a lot of people sugar in your blood. And that's it. I don't know, it's all connected with the yeast nonsense. So it was just not a

Unknown Speaker 10:06
not an ideal situation at all. So you're

Scott Benner 10:09
a person who, you know has been healthy thus far, you're you're probably getting into that like really like space where you're like, I'm 30, nothing's ever gonna go wrong with me, I'll never even need a doctor. And then suddenly, somebody is telling you, and I don't even want to say half of what you need to know. They're, they're basically just yelling words at you. So there's no direction long. Here's Metformin. Here's the thing to test your blood sugar with. You have diabetes. See you later.

Jill 10:35
Yeah, and I mean, I also to give more context, no one in my family has diabetes. I know, nobody who has diabetes. So I my understanding of diabetes at that point was, this is something that you get when you are overweight. And that's it, and I'm not overweight, you know, I was I'm five, two, I was 140. Maybe when I went in, which is, you know, five, like average. It just didn't make sense, you know, a why I had it be what I was even supposed to do going forward. And every single doctor that I met after that, because I met many primary care physicians, quote, unquote, who were all like, Oh, wow. But you're not like overweight? You know? Oh, wow.

Unknown Speaker 11:25
How'd you get?

Jill 11:26
Like, why are you asking me that? You're my doctor, you know, was extremely frustrating.

Scott Benner 11:31
You live in the middle of a desert? Like, or where are you like, near civilization? Where do you know?

Jill 11:37
Yeah, I live 30 minutes from Seattle. In the city. I mean, I guess, maybe a little more country than city, but it's I live by a lot of stuff.

Scott Benner 11:48
The expectation that every doctor you bump into, should have no idea what diabetes is.

Jill 11:54
And I just feel like because they thought I was type two. Maybe they have like a very limited understanding of diabetes, like, Oh, it's this epidemic or not? Yeah, epidemic that we see across the country. It's a big deal. I'm sure everybody gets some kind of type two training. But it was just very general, you know, any information that I got? And everything that I had to learn how to do from finger pricking, to inserting my first freestyle Libra, everything I had to YouTube, everything. Nobody showed me how to.

Unknown Speaker 12:34
That's crazy.

Jill 12:35
Absolutely do anything at all. And so I still am a teeny tiny bit bitter about that.

Scott Benner 12:41
Don't worry, we can get it out here. Well, I, I really have to say like, enough people have said it to me over the years, that I'm not stunned when the doctor doesn't get it. But I still am a little like, I try to think about like, what if you went to urgent care and urgent care said, Hey, you have leukemia, and then you walked into a doctor's office said, Hey, Urgent Care says I have leukemia, and the doctor said, That's weird. You're not a blonde. Like, like, what? Like, is that your assessment pattern? Like? Is this what they taught you in school? Like? Yes. Oh, it's fascinating. It really is. Okay, so you had to go to n number of doctors to find one.

Jill 13:23
Yeah, because everyone was just kind of confused. And I don't really know. It kind of is a blur. It was like all a lot of information. I was told to go to a nutritionist right away. I saw two different doctors like mainly, and they kind of were, I think tag teaming with information. Like, I would see one and she was great. And she was super sweet. She reassured me we're gonna figure this out. But she also was like, I have no idea. Like, where to even start with you. I don't know why you're a type two diabetic. It doesn't make sense. You're taking the Metformin and nothing is happening. You know, I was finger sticking like every What do they tell you like three times a day or something? And every time I did it, it was like 300 300 300. And they were like, yeah, we don't know. But you know, don't worry, just keep like eating you need to eat well, and like go to your nutritionist. And I was just so frustrated. Because when I would go on the internet to Google anything, which you should never do when you're sick with anything. You know, everything on the internet says if your blood sugar is higher than 300, you go to the emergency room, like right away. That's that's a problem. And I didn't understand why every doctor would look at my numbers it would be like well, yeah, like just just go home. Like just see if it gets better. Like you just need to eat better. And I am a pretty healthy eater. Um, so I was also frustrated with that because I thought what else can I cut out of my diet? Okay, sugar. Fine. I guess I Don't eat bread anymore. Fine. I was cracking up. Britt like remembering this with my husband because I told him, you know, we're eating all these Christmas cookies just recently. And he was like you remember when you were afraid to eat anything with sugar because I literally would have like a panic attack. If I was brave enough to have like a teeny tiny piece of sugar at this time, the second it went into my body. I just I got so hot, I got super anxious. I just I was like, Oh my gosh, I cannot ever have sugar because I just felt so scared. I didn't understand why every time I would go to the doctor, they'd send me back with no information, just eat better. Yeah. You know, it was just nothing made sense. And I think that was that was like the biggest frustration.

Scott Benner 15:45
Why have a day where I can that I went through that I think I've grown up on here. So I'll I'll go through it quickly. But one day, I had to go to the dentist. And I showed up at the dentist's office and asked to use the bathroom before we started. Then halfway through the procedure. I was like, Can we stop for a second? I have to go to the bathroom. And then so I peed like three times in the in like 90 minutes at the dentist's office. So the dentist grabs me on the way out and says, Hey, I'm concerned, you might have type two diabetes. Now I'm like, it ended up being if you've been listening to the podcast that my iron was really low, and my body was all out of whack and everything but so. But for a day until I could get a doctor's appointment. I thought I might have type two diabetes because somebody said it to me. And I experienced exactly what you're talking about. I couldn't bring myself to eat food because everything felt super scary. Like I can't eat I just didn't eat anything. I just stood there for a day waiting to go to a doctor's appointment.

Jill 16:42
Yep, so that's it. I mean, it's just like this totally crippling food anxiety, of eating at all. I mean, I ate like a bear. That's what you know, my husband was like, remember, when you wouldn't eat any sugar? Like you were just eating like a bear? I would eat nuts and berries. And that's it. Because that's all the all these things on Pinterest. If you look up type two, you know, diets or whatever, say, Oh, you know, like, why would you have to eat berries, number one, like they have so much sugar, but I just ate nothing. I just ate little things here and there. My nutritionist was fine. But you know, another frustration was doctors and the nutritionist all made comments about my ethnicity. I'm Latina. And everybody was like, trying to figure out an answer. And everybody had to say, Oh, well, you know, some ethnicities are more prone to type two, it's probably in your cultural diet. And I heard that so many times, I was like, so irritated because what is my cultural diet? Number one, you'd have not asked me what I eat. Nobody asked me what I eat. Nobody asked me specifically like what my nationality, you know, that I identified with was so bright. I think what was happening was a lot of people were assuming I was Mexican. And I was eating like beans and like what you would get at the Mexican restaurants, you know, and I can only assume that just because of how many people said it in a row. And I was like, what are what are people thinking? But

Scott Benner 18:11
where? Where are you? Where's your family from?

Jill 18:14
My family's from Peru? Okay. All right. Um, and I don't know, I mean, I grew up here. So I don't know that my cultural diet, you know, was really an impact. Just

Scott Benner 18:24
imagine that the doctors in the other room going, Hey, Charo in there probably eats a lot of beans, don't you?

Jill 18:29
Right? Yeah, that's how I felt. I was just like, hmm, I'm not sure where these assumptions are coming from, but because they are professionals. I never said anything. I never brought anything up. I was just like, okay, I believe you when you say that. Certain ethnicities are probably prone to type two. That makes sense to me, whatever. But it wasn't until after that I had time to kind of mold stuff over that. I was like, Huh, well, there's no way they didn't ask me specifically, like what's in your diet?

Scott Benner 18:55
She probably just eats rice and avocados all day? I don't know. It's what I saw at the Mexican restaurant that one time? No, your story is just the first quarter of it here is fantastic. Because this is what I'm trying to tell people all the time. You can't just sit there and nod at your doctor and go Okay, okay. Okay. Okay, and just do whatever they say. Not that you shouldn't listen to them. I'm not saying that. But you have to make sure you have a good one before you start listening. Right. And that's just such a big part of diabetes. It's, it's not uncommon for people to be in the situation that you talked about, and you were just at a real disadvantage, because in all honesty, if your mom and dad didn't send you on your way already knowing who your doctor was, and you just didn't get sick. You were basically a 15 year old in that office that day. Yeah. Right, because it's the story. It reads just like what if I would have sent a 15 year old into a doctor's office to be told they had something that they didn't know about? And On top of that, your blood sugar is over 300 all the time. So you're probably whacked out of your skull, you know, it's probably you're probably like, did you notice a clearing of your mind when your blood sugar finally came down?

Jill 20:13
I think honestly, and I don't know enough about type one. I haven't listened to enough of the podcasts, especially with Jenny. Because I know she has a lot of, I don't know, just like different medical expertise, right? Every time I listen, I'm always like, wow, I need to write all this down. But I don't know enough about it to know how fast a person can become type one, I think that I was. My, my body was probably like, shutting down for a couple years before is what I'm thinking. Because I had a lot of things slowly kind of going wrong.

Unknown Speaker 20:53
Okay,

Jill 20:54
I peed a lot for a while. Like, it wasn't suddenly it was like, two or three years where I was like, Wow, my kidneys just suck. So I feel like I don't know how long my blood sugar was at 300 for for, you know, maybe years and like, I just got used to it. You know, I didn't notice that my mind was foggy. I didn't. I don't feel I mean, maybe now I would. But I didn't feel gross at 300 I felt gross when I was at 90. You know,

Scott Benner 21:22
you're high for a really long time, then.

Jill 21:24
Yeah. And that's what I think like, I don't even know like when, when it started, you know, I think it was a really long descent for me, like a couple years. And then suddenly it came on quickly, like at the end with that yeast infection. But we really think it was a long time coming.

Scott Benner 21:40
your entire life shifted in the last 18 months, two years in a number of different segments. But yeah, so you beat yourself. Yeah, you became an adult about your health. Right away. You were like, Okay, this is happening. And other things happen to which I can't wait to tell people about, but I like that you're stringing it out like this. I feel like you're a good storyteller. This is excellent. really seriously, like when you didn't say the other thing? I was like Jill's good at this. It's time isn't it? to take care of yourself to do the things you know you need? Absolutely, it is. Why don't you go right now to my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box and have Omni pod send you out a free, no obligation demo of the Omni pod to listen. So on top, it'll take you just a couple of brief moments to fill out what they need to know. And before you know it right there in your mailbox will be an omni pod. It's one it's non functioning right? So it's not dangerous. It's just so that you can wear it and feel it. See what it would be like take a shower, go for a walk. Live your life with an omni pod. To see what life with an omni pod may be like, it's incredibly easy to do. It's free. Again, there's no obligation, you might as well try my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. There's links right there in the show notes of your podcast player. We're at Juicebox Podcast comm if you can't remember them, but I'll probably say them enough that it will stick in your head. And eventually you'll be sending me an email that sounds like this. Oh my god, Scott fine. I tried the Omni pod demo. And it was terrific. And I use it now I get a lot of those emails, yours can be next. So if you're looking to get away from multiple daily injections, or you don't want a pump with that tubing on it, try it on the pod. This is a perfect way to see what you think my omnipod.com forward slash juice box. There are two ways to have diabetes. One is where you can't see what your blood sugar's doing. And in the other way, you're wearing a Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. And you can see everything, speed, direction and number in real time, right on your cell phone, that's Android or iPhone, or there's a little receiver like say you're one of the three people that don't have a cell phone, you just get a little receiver, it's fine. No matter what you need to see your numbers on Dexcom will have you covered and covered in a way that you can imagine opening you up to being able to make decisions about insulin and food that takes away the stress and anxiety that using insulin can bring whether you have type one or type two diabetes, the Dexcom g six is for you, in my opinion, head over now dexcom.com forward slash juicebox start picking through. See if you would like to learn more. There's a forum down there if you would like to just tell them a little bit about yourself what kind of diabetes you have, what kind of insurance and the next thing you know, you're on your way. And if you have Medicaid, or you're a United States veteran using the VA for your insurance, I think you might be very happy. With what you find out, and you can start getting those Dexcom alerts when you want them. What do I mean by that? How would you like to know when your blood sugar dips below? 85? I don't know, how would you like to know when it dips below 70 whatever you prefer, that's where you set the alert. Want to know if your blood sugar is rising, so you can use more insulin? do that to my daughter's high alarm is set at 120 yours could be somewhere else, whatever works for you, is what's right dexcom.com forward slash juice box. My Omni pod comm forward slash juice box and don't forget to check out touched by type one touched by type one.org. Or on their Facebook and Instagram pages. Thank you so much for listening to the ads. When you support the advertisers. You're supporting the podcast keeping the podcast free and plentiful. There's a list of all the advertisers right there in the show notes of your podcast player or at Juicebox Podcast comm I am genuinely proud of the companies who sponsor this show. We got a good group.

When do you finally get a handle on all of this? Like when do you get at least a base understanding?

Jill 26:22
So this all happened in January, my month of January was 100% diabetes, of course, I was continuing. I'm a busy lady. I like to travel a lot. I like to do a lot of things with my friends on weekends. And so I wasn't going to stop even though I was dealing with all of this. I we went to Whistler and I had kind of a diabetic episode and that was kind of hard to deal with went to Leavenworth, which is a small German town here. That's kind of a tourist attraction. also had a tiny diabetic episode. I was like, Okay, I don't I'm not really getting this right. This isn't getting better. I can't eat things and enjoy drinking without it being kind of scary. Yeah, maybe I need to find a specialist. There was no way I was getting into an endocrinologist for like six months, there was a huge wait for this one. And I didn't really understand that you could shop for endocrinologist, I was given a referral to an endocrinologist. In January, one endocrinologist, that one was busy for six months apparently. And then that's it never dawned on me not ever having to deal with doctors. Before that I could just shop for people like I could just get on the internet myself and find someone and I just waited. I didn't know. And so it wasn't getting better. In February, I flew to Sonoma with my best friend for a wine weekend. And, of course, the day before we flew out, she and I both got really sick. We both had the flu. And we were like, well screw this like we are not wasting we can't get our money back. So we're just going to take a ton of day quail responsible 30 year olds. And we'll be fine. We're not wasting our weekend in Sonoma. I was so sick. We came back a day early, just because we were both sick. But I had the flu with diabetes, right? And so I kept checking my blood sugar. And I was like What is happening? It's like 400, should I go to the urgent care here in California, like I had no idea what to do. I came back home. I went to Urgent Care here every single day for a week. And the fifth day. I'm not kidding. I went every day. And every day they sent me home and they're like, just keep checking your blood sugar. And the fifth day I was like bawling. And I was like I can't keep coming here. I have a full time job. Like I can't What is wrong with me. And so this one doctor, obviously took pity on me and was like, Okay, I'm gonna figure this out for you. I don't know how we're gonna do it, but I'm gonna call you tomorrow. And so she calls me and says I have a friend who works at this other clinic who might have a contact for you. So it was like this all you know, convoluted, like call this person call this person call this person. But I ended up getting hooked up with an endocrinologist who could see me a little sooner, so I had a month way instead. So February goes by March goes by. I'm still trying to do my best to keep my blood sugar under control. And then in let's see, end of March again and to see this endocrinologist. She's amazing. She reminds me of my mom. She is like a no nonsense. Indian woman who just is direct. So direct. She took like, one look at me and was like you're not type two. Why did they tell you or type two? I was like, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 29:46
I just want to go drink wine.

Jill 29:48
I don't know. Just fix it. Like, I have no idea. And so she's like, there's no way you're type two. They should have done a blood test on you and she did this blood test and yeah, she Like, yes, look, look at these numbers Jill, like, like, I'm a doctor, look at these numbers. This doesn't make any sense. You're type one, you've been mis diagnosed, you know, you should have never left that Urgent Care without this simple blood test that any doctor can do. And I was like, okay, that doesn't help me.

Scott Benner 30:16
It was like, Listen, I let's be clear for a second. I drank a quill with diabetes and got on a plane, so I could drink more wine than a person should. I'm not you shouldn't be leaving me in charge of these decisions. Jill, were you a huge party girl through your 20s just asking.

Jill 30:33
I'm not a party girl at all. I just am really into wine. And like, we're we can be very bougie about our wine.

Scott Benner 30:40
I just I thought it was fantastic that in the middle of what seemed like a life or death health crisis, you were like, we're still going.

Jill 30:47
I mean, the wine never stops. It's just you know. We're gonna figure it out around the wine.

Scott Benner 30:54
Doctor, while you're considering my diabetes, remember, there's going to be mirlo Okay, like that. Right here? No, but I mean, it's just I guess it really does go to how little you understood about what was happening. Oh, that's that's the kind of the fascinating part. So

Jill 31:09
yeah. So then at least there was the correct diagnosis. Right, then at least she was like, obviously, you're a type one. Your doctors are all idiots. It was basically.

Scott Benner 31:19
So not not to pick your psyche apart too much. But it's interesting that once you found a doctor that was more like a parent, it worked out for you quickly. Yeah.

Jill 31:27
1,000% 1,000%. And I do like attribute the cultural bit a lot because she just, I just don't want to screw up in front of my endo. Like she is the most cutthroat lady. She might not be where I go for like warm and fuzzy, you know, feelings, but she cares about my health in a way that a parent would, you know, yeah, she tells me absolutely. Like, you cannot do these things, XY and Z. And I think that's not for everyone. But that's for me. You know, it worked out really well. I appreciate that. She's honest. And, you know, just gives me the truth. And so, anyway, she diagnosed me type one. She gave me kind of a little plan, but she was like, you need to come back, like in two weeks, for sure. We're gonna get you set up with everything that you need. So I had a physical scheduled with my primary care physician. I go back to her. Between these two weeks. I told her Oh, yeah, I was diagnosed with type one. She was like, oh, okay, great. She obviously didn't know like, what anything about type one, she was just like, Oh, I'm so glad that you have answers. And in that appointment, I had asked like, so my husband and I are like, trying to have kids, we would like to start trying. I have all this medical stuff happening. Like, is it safe for us to start trying? Or should? Should I wait? And I remember, she's just like, Oh, yeah, you're gonna be fine. Like now that you have an endo and everything like, Yeah, go ahead, like, definitely try

Scott Benner 32:56
it. Can I tell you for a second? Also, you're on the pods on the side of insulin? Oh, yeah, sure is. How in that situation where the doctor who couldn't help you, like figure out you had type one diabetes? Did you like consider to ask her another question and take her serious?

Unknown Speaker 33:17
I don't know, okay.

Jill 33:22
I have no idea. I thought she was in charge of like, my general body and the other lady was in charge of just my diabetes. So I was like, okay, she's gonna know, in my physical, for sure. If like, I can have children. I just wasn't equating all these things as like, together. You know, I was just, diabetes was such a thing outside my body that I just wanted to get rid of. Does that make sense? I just was like, okay, someone's handling that over here. Like, I want to continue with my life and keep, keep doing my things and keep staying with my plans. You know, so

Scott Benner 33:53
you didn't think of you kind of thought about diabetes, like a bankruptcy. You're like, Yes, I spent way too much money and can't pay it back. But let's compartmentalize that. But over here. I'm going to send $700 a month to that bill. And I'm still going to pretend that I'm me. And there's nothing going on. Like you were trying to, to, to split the two apart you in the diabetes, right? You weren't letting it merge together. Okay, you're there now though, right.

Unknown Speaker 34:21
I'm,

Scott Benner 34:22
like, you know, you're a person living with diabetes and all that stuff. And you don't know Yeah, no, I don't want people like to be like, you know, Jesus, Porter. It's not learning anything. We're just telling the story. That's all

Jill 34:32
that's right. Along along learning.

Scott Benner 34:36
Okay. Wow, I am still I'm stunned that you asked that doctor if it was okay. It

Jill 34:43
was all kind of happening so fast too. And like I wasn't used to going to doctors, you know, in general. So I was like, okay, every week I'm seeing a nutritionist and then I'm seeing the regular doctor and then I'm seeing this endo and like, somebody's got to have answers. You know, I just wasn't something I wasn't skeptical of doctors, but I was just so desperate to trust somebody to give me good news. I was like, please somebody,

Scott Benner 35:06
I gotta do what I want you to I gotta be honest with you. This is the second story in 2020. I've heard that makes me not want to go to the Seattle area.

Unknown Speaker 35:13
Oh, no.

Scott Benner 35:17
So, okay. All right. So now you have type one diabetes, you have this lovely Indian doctor who's yelling at you the way you need to be all that. And then there's the other doctor who I'm not sure what she does still. And and are you? on? What part do you and I intersect?

Jill 35:36
When did I win that thing? Probably.

Scott Benner 35:39
August. July. Okay. But you, you and I spoke on the phone once.

Jill 35:45
Right, but it was for the prize. It was. Um, so I think you did that. You had a contest in July or August or something like that. And then when I won, I called you, or you called me? Why was that?

Scott Benner 35:59
Oh, part of it was you? Oh, part of the prize was talking to me, which I now hear when I say out loud. Sounds like I'm an assault, but I get what you're saying.

Unknown Speaker 36:09
But that was

Jill 36:11
your expertise. That's all right. It's a great.

Scott Benner 36:14
Honestly, what I just said out loud. I was like, Oh, that sounds douchey. But, but Okay, well, I'm flush now like you are hilarious. So I got it. So we're on the phone. And at that point, are you? Did you get knocked up yet? When is that Parco? Oh, yeah, I

Jill 36:34
got knocked up immediately, right away when my doctor said, Oh, yeah, go ahead and start trying. I was like, dope. We're doing this ran

Scott Benner 36:40
out the door legs first.

Jill 36:42
And then knocked up the next day. I'm not kidding. Like, right away. And by the time that I saw my endo, for the second time. I was already like, a teeny tiny bit late. And I was like, Oh, my also be pregnant. And the way she looked at me.

Scott Benner 36:59
Oh, my gosh, I thought I thought you're gonna say she punched you like,

Jill 37:04
she looked like she wanted to I'm not kidding. She was like, what I was like, well, like, I was told that it was fine. And like this was already in my plan. I'm a teacher. So I really like to stick to my plans. Like a disgusting amount. It just is one of my things. I have a strict itinerary. And this was part of my plans. I did not want to give it up. And so when she looked at me, I was like, Oh, crap. Maybe it wasn't a good idea. And she said, like, you better hope that you're not pregnant. Your diabetes is completely out of control. You were just diagnosed. Forget everything that you've gone through since January, you were just diagnosed two weeks ago, you know, like with a brand new illness, type two and type one are completely different. So you better hope that you're not and I was like, okay, not great. I totally was, of course, right away. So by the time you and I talked, I think I was probably like four months pregnant. Wow.

Scott Benner 38:09
And, and so my recollection of talking with you back then, excuse me, was Hold on a second.

Hello. That'll get cut out Hold on a second. We're all just get lazy and leave it in, it's hard to know

is that I remember going downstairs after we spoke, and I said to my wife, I just talked to the person who won the giveaway. And apparently she's like, was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes and got pregnant. Like, in the same like couple of weeks or something. Like I said, she basically found out she really had type one diabetes, and she was already pregnant. And I don't think things are going great. And my I remember my wife and I were like, Oh, that's I hope that goes okay. And then I kind of started keeping after you on Instagram a little bit. And like following along, and you're just you know, you're adorable. Like you're just like little and like you have a bright smile and a pretty face it gets You're adorable. And so like you always look okay, is what I'm saying. Like, I'm assuming in some of those pictures. You've just thrown up from wine and you're still look adorable. So I can't I can't tell how you're doing from your Instagram. Actually, I guess nobody can tell how anybody's doing from social media. But that's

Unknown Speaker 39:24
Yeah, right.

Scott Benner 39:26
Yeah, right. But then the baby came out. I was like, hey, right on because I assume you understand now that like there's a high likelihood that you would have ended up having a miscarriage if your blood sugar stayed the way they were.

Jill 39:37
Absolutely Yeah. If I hadn't found that endo. I mean, that really was the game changer. Of course, like I had no idea how, how serious it was. I knew it was serious to have diabetes, of course, but like not having any real context or having anybody at all in my life who has had any serious disease, you know, for a long period of time. I just didn't really get it like internally, right. So once I got this endo, and I got the correct diagnosis, and she just kept hammering into me like how serious it was that my blood sugar stay in control. It really all fell into place. I mean, I met her in a, you know, end of March beginning of April ish. And honestly, by June, I was like 100%, I don't want to say in control all the time, but I had a really good handle on like, how to manage the diabetes, because she and her team were phenomenal. I mean, I went to see them every week for probably like four or five weeks, and worked with these diabetes educators who are like Omnipod reps, and I got the Dexcom. And the Omnipod, immediately because I was pregnant. Like immediately, I mean, I think I waited for like three weeks, maybe where I still was finger sticking. And after that I had everything bells and whistles, ready to go. So I really have never experienced a life of diabetes. difficult, if that makes sense, right? Like the beginning part, obviously was difficult, but I didn't know what I was experiencing. So I don't count that. And when I hear all these other stories on the podcasts of people who like, just maybe don't have all the technology or choose not to have the technology or you know, just there's all these things that we get to make diabetes management easier. I didn't really have to deal with that. Because my endo was just like, you're having this, you're having this, put this on your body, I don't care how you feel about it. You need all these things. I've never had to really struggle in that same way, you know, to figure things out, she made it really, really easy to kind of manage my diabetes, and she was checking on me constantly. So the entire pregnancy. I mean, I probably went there every two or three weeks. Yeah. It was really tight control. And I really think that made all the difference.

Scott Benner 42:04
It sounds like she decided to take personal responsibility for your baby being okay. And you know,

Unknown Speaker 42:10
what a wonderful lady, right?

Scott Benner 42:12
You know, it occurred to me just now, while you were talking, I've recorded I mean, I might have recorded close to 500 of these at this point. And yours was the first 30 minute diagnosis story. No, no. But when you really think about it, it really was like, all of that that happened for those months and months and months. That's all part of you figuring out you have type one diabetes, and how many doctors did you have to run into? Like, that is not, that doesn't warm my heart? How many doctors you had to run into before one of them was like you have type one? Like, what? What's going on here?

Jill 42:47
Yeah, the biggest thing was just that I was older, you know, like the I that's the only thing people were looking at, like, Oh, she's 30. So Oh, well, don't forget possibly have type one. You know,

Scott Benner 42:58
don't forget also that your your people eat beans. So, you know, like, whatever. Right? Yeah. Like, seriously, I hear, you know, black patient advocates talk all the time about, you know, people look at my skin and make assumptions about how I take care of myself immediately. Yeah, and so you know, that this is another example of that really, like they see they see you, you know, as your background, and your heritage and your race and and they're just like, oh, obviously, she doesn't eat well, and this is why she has type two diabetes.

Jill 43:29
Yep. I mean, even though I like I said, I wasn't overweight at the time, you know, there's, I told my doctors, like I run every day and like, I work out, you know, I'm not, I'm not super, like slender all the time. That girl likes to eat. Right. But, I mean, I take care of myself. So it was Yeah, it's just I hope that people don't continue to have this problem, where they're told, like, Oh, it's something that you did to cause this, you know,

Scott Benner 43:54
I listen, I would, I would have no ability to look at you and think that you're an unhealthy person. So you know, it's just, you know, until we talk to you and find out about the wine and everything else. We could start thinking

Jill 44:07
that's my one serious vise.

Scott Benner 44:10
Hey, listen, can you tell people right now? How do you hold a bottle and a baby at the same time? What's the balancing act?

Jill 44:15
bottle and a baby? Oh, no problem. Just got to work out a little bit before and

Scott Benner 44:21
that way you can keep the balance. We should probably tell typhus now that you're you don't drink wine while you're caring for your baby at the same time, right. You know,

Jill 44:32
it's nap time.

Scott Benner 44:35
So, how long have you had type one diabetes?

Jill 44:39
So now it's been since April of 2019. So a

Unknown Speaker 44:48
little over a year.

Scott Benner 44:49
Can you tell me what your current a one C is? Are you willing to do that? Yeah, it's

Jill 44:52
I think it was 6.1. Wow, that's amazing. It was you know, in the fives and then of course, my endo was like, that's too low. You need Have a little bit more.

Unknown Speaker 45:01
Did you think it was too low?

Unknown Speaker 45:02
Huh?

Scott Benner 45:03
Were you having lows when it was in the fives?

Jill 45:06
Um, yeah, because I still, I'm still trying to manage like being active. So like, I do work out, I run, I walk. Now I walk a lot more with the baby. And I hike. And so I do tend to get a lot of lows during that, during any of those activities, no matter what I do to prepare. I'm still trying to get, you know, figure that out. So I think that definitely, like increases my chances of having, you know, a lower frequency. But, you know, I guess I just got to eat more.

Scott Benner 45:36
I like talking to you because you are, you're not the person that I imagined in my mind listening to the podcast, because you listen to it more for like the community stuff and hearing people's stories and not for the management stuff. And you know, in my default in my head, that the podcast is about using insulin, and so but I know there are people like you who don't listen to the, to the management stuff, as much as I tell people all the time in the private Facebook group who are very focused on management, usually, that I was like, you guys are a subs, like you're just one like sub set of the listeners. I was like, there are plenty of listeners who don't care about the stuff you care about. It's really interesting how how it gets split like that. But you should try the pro tip episodes, they might help you not get low when you're active.

Jill 46:24
Yeah, I have listened to a lot of them. It's just I was listening to the podcast, I think more frequently, like when I was pregnant, and I had time. And I was really still like trying to manage a lot of things I need to get back into it. But I did take a kind of a break from anything joyful and listening to my own things for a little while here. Because anytime the baby's asleep, I'm like, Okay, what can I get done?

Scott Benner 46:51
Well, what did you what kind of a baby ended up having to end up having a boy type or girl type?

Jill 46:56
I had a boy he is the cutest child in the world. I'm sure a little chunk. Yeah, everything. Everything turned out wonderfully. I mean, it really. I couldn't have asked for a better pregnant experience. And even being diabetic. Like That was my one. My one like difficulty, but I never got sick. You know, I was able to eat pretty much what I wanted to eat. There was there was really nothing difficult. So I feel like that was a in my mind. That was like the universe's trade off. Here you have diabetes, but you're gonna have a really easy pregnancy and delivery.

Scott Benner 47:35
Especially at five to because you're a smaller person. So how big was the baby when it was born?

Jill 47:41
He was like eight pounds and a half.

Scott Benner 47:44
That's a big baby.

Unknown Speaker 47:45
That's what I hear.

Scott Benner 47:48
Listen, it makes it a

Unknown Speaker 47:50
little to me.

Scott Benner 47:52
I know, right? It's, it's crazy how small they are. I am. I don't know, I just I saw a baby picture of my son the other day, you know how, like, I have a widget on my computer and it pops like a picture up like right now I just clicked on it. It's a picture of Arden when she's like a year old. And so they kind of pop up on my desktop once in a while. And then I get all like, sappy and I sit here for a couple months. And I'm like, Oh, look at how small he was. And now Arden's like in this photo just staring at me in this picture, which I can't share with anybody because Arden does not want to be portrayed as a baby on the internet. So, but she's adorable in this in this photo. So I know how you feel. But the busy so how you managing taking care of yourself with the busy? Have you found the split, like you turn into like a real adult out of nowhere. Like you're managing diabetes and a baby and you still work I imagine.

Jill 48:40
Yeah. I mean, I feel like with my health, I totally was a 15 year old, I still am a little bit like I have to that's something that you take for granted if you've always been healthy. So I definitely in that aspect had to, you know, grow up very quickly in that area. But I think everything else I'm, I'm a pretty organized person. Like I said, I'm a teacher. So like, I'm all about checklists, and lesson plans, itineraries and getting things done. So I think that kind of helped also with like diabetes and balancing everything. And luckily, the only I only had issues with diabetes, when he was really, really little like when I was still trying to breastfeed. That was a challenge with blood sugar. I hemorrhaged when I was giving birth. And so that was a problem because it impacted I don't know, it impacted like the iron in my blood or whatever. So that impacted my blood sugar. And then I had some insulin resistance that I had never dealt with that before. Really. a month three and month six postpartum that was annoying, but they really are like little things. It's not really even mentionable. It's like little things. They all went away. And now it's just fine. I mean, luckily, you know, knock on wood, right?

Scott Benner 50:00
Have a terrific attitude like you really do your you've a really kind of joyous personality and you know, a great attitude. So I'm sure that goes a long way to helping you. I hope you'll find out give it away for a week and see if everything doesn't seem all doom and gloomy. All right, but no, but that really is. I've just been waiting for so long to talk to you. Like I remember when I said like, come on the podcast, but let's push it way out into the future because I want you to have some distance from the story so you can tell it that made me anxious. I was like, I would like to record this one now. But I thought it'll go so much better if I push it off a little bit. And I did I make you like I made you push it off like a year. Basically. I was like, pick something way out in the future. And and we'll do it because it's December now and 2020. So it's been oh my gosh, yeah. It's been over a year since we talked on the phone even. Yeah, how old is your son now?

Jill 50:53
He just turned one just like a couple days ago.

Unknown Speaker 50:56
Congratulations. Thanks. It was exciting.

Scott Benner 50:59
Did you have a big party for him?

Jill 51:02
We had we did some drop bys. So I still did like a little brunch thing with all these like treats to go that people could come take and then people came you know, with their masks and just dropped off their gifts. I wanted my gift Scott came and dropped off their gift. And then had some treats to go.

Scott Benner 51:21
I didn't make this baby not to get free stuff.

Unknown Speaker 51:23
Well, hello, this first birthday.

Scott Benner 51:26
Oh, that's very cool. Oh, that's excellent. Good for you. I'm excited for you. And are you teaching virtually? or How do you do?

Unknown Speaker 51:32
I am?

Scott Benner 51:34
So do you, like just put the kid right on your lap and teach her? How do you I have

Jill 51:38
my mom downstairs who just watches him for, you know, a couple hours while I teach. I mean that that's a another thing I think that helps the diabetes go smoothly is that I'm home and I have a lot of control over what I can eat. And I'm sitting in front of the computer. I've been a kindergarten teacher for nine years. And then this year, I switched to first grade so that I could only work in the morning. Okay. And so I have a partner that teaches in the afternoon. And when I was teaching, like live in person with kindergarteners, I mean, I was always low, like, my blood sugar was so annoying to handle because there's 25 people that need you, they need you to tie their shoes, and they need you to help them use the bathroom. And yeah, you know, they can't do this. And this person hit me and this person, all these things, and my blood sugar would be you know, Beeping Beeping Beeping and I'm like, right, okay, I'm gonna get it one second and eat something Hold on. But I'm like running around. And I just, it was so much harder to to manage while I was working. You rarely sit as a kindergarten teacher. Really any teacher, right? You just are not sitting you're walking around helping the kids and talking and making copies and the list is endless. And so I think being home really has helped it be manageable because I'm just sitting in front of the computer interacting with my kids. And if I need to grab something to eat to correct a blood sugar, you know, low I'll just go get it you know, it's not a big deal versus being at school. I can't always do that I have to sometimes wait until lunch or I have to grab a juice really quick is not the best management.

Scott Benner 53:14
So this setup is eliminated a major variability in your blood sugar, which is activity and and not having time to look at yourself. So when you go back eventually you're going to have to find basil rates that are that are different. I would imagine going back to work it live will make your basil needs go down.

Unknown Speaker 53:34
Yeah, probably

Scott Benner 53:36
ardens went way down leaving school. So when Oh, really? Yeah. So I because like, I don't know why exactly. But my, I've been thinking about it more and more. And I think part of it was you get up in the morning, and it's right away, it's that race in the clock, you know, you're like I got to get up and get a shower and do this and get out the door on time or I'll be late. And that whole thing so you, you get feet on the floor, you know huge where your life is just coming at you. And then you're at school and you know you're interacting with people and all that stuff's going on. You know, I don't know if there's any anxiety or stress being in high school for her. But her basil went down from like 1.2 to point nine an hour. Like just coming home from not being at high school. So she she's gonna have like an opposite of you. But you're gonna go back and be an attract meet with little kids again, although your first grade now might be a little better. Maybe they won't hit each other quite as much.

Jill 54:33
This whole pandemic thing, it's just gonna be a kindergarten, kindergarten minds and in bigger bodies. I think

Scott Benner 54:43
the only the kids learned anything in kindergarten this year.

Jill 54:46
I mean, I'm sure they have learned stuff. But the stuff that I think is like why you go to kindergarten is socially you know how to learn how to line up and how to, you know what I mean? Like all those social skills, how to sit at the carpet for a long time, and all this stuff. You physically have to herd cats for basically, as a teacher, they might all be like, at grade level of hope. But I think it's gonna be just as much being on my feet.

Scott Benner 55:11
So funny you say that I recall the first couple of seasons of Cole playing baseball back when he was like, a co star when he was four. But when he really started being on, like, teams when he was six, I remember thinking back then, so much of this is just getting them to stand in a line. Yeah. And then. And then I remember as that kind of like youth baseball time ended, when he was 12. I remember thinking, wow, look, now they say something and they go run over and getting that line took like five years to teach them how to do. It's fascinating.

Unknown Speaker 55:51
And teaching

Scott Benner 55:54
really was what was what was going on. It's like this. There's this whole, just like, Where do you go? Where do you stand? It's funny, you said something earlier, too. That made me think about something I just said on the podcast recently, which is, when Cole was that age, he was a really good, he always has been, and is today a really great outfielder, but he was when he was younger, too. And he described it to me as that he didn't want to let his coach down. And I feel like that's how you feel with your doctors a little bit too. Like you're kind of like in a teacher student or a coach player. situation with her. Does that ring true for you?

Unknown Speaker 56:30
Yeah, for sure. I

Jill 56:31
mean, I, I feel like this is kind of how my mom raised me. But like, if people are spending their time on you, you know, you show them respect by like hearing about what they're talking about, or trying to do what they're obviously teaching you even if you don't like it. And that's kind of how I feel. I'm like, Well, she's trying so hard to teach me things that are useful, then the least I could do is actually try it and listen to her. And there have been some times where I'm like, she doesn't know what she's talking about. I get irritated with like little things. And then I try what she says And I'm like, Oh, look at that it worked. You know, so it just yeah, it is kind of like coaching.

Scott Benner 57:09
You found a good one. It sounds like should she be on my list on the juicebox Doc's list this year. Oh, good endo.

Jill 57:14
I mean, I think she's amazing, personally.

Scott Benner 57:18
Cool. That's excellent. She saved you. It sounds like honestly. Yep.

Jill 57:22
She's amazing. And I even had two years ago, I had a student in my class. He, you know, came in for open house and his parents were popping in and his dad stopped me and was like, hey, you're diabetic? And I was like, Yeah, like not. I was like, Well, how do you even know that? He's like, Oh, yeah, I see your Dexcom. And I was like, Oh, are you diabetic? And he's like, yeah, and he like, shows me his Dexcom, you know, and come to find out, he goes to the same. And oh, and it was just kind of a funny thing. Every time we would see each other, he'd be like, Oh, I have to go see Dr. Q. Today, I'm going to be in trouble. Because you know, X, Y, and Z. And I'm like, Oh, no, I totally feel your pain, you know, and it's just, even. Even just those little interactions, you know, knowing that, like, you have the same endocrinologist, she's like, one of the best in our area. That is just like such a big community piece, you know, too. So the fact that she can she has that presence to tie people together because of how she is.

Scott Benner 58:15
Excellent. That's really terrific. I yeah, I actually go to that link and send me the information when you get a chance. It's juicebox docs.com. Oh, yeah,

Jill 58:25
definitely. And they're the ones that told me about the podcast, actually.

Unknown Speaker 58:29
Really?

Scott Benner 58:31
Well, thank you, Dr. Q. I like Seattle a little better. Look at that. I'm such a cheap horse, you could just easily swim.

Unknown Speaker 58:43
It's not all terrible. I live outside of Seattle. So it's like, you know, all the

Scott Benner 58:48
while I'm just saying didn't those crazy people take a few blocks of Seattle this year? and demons? Oh, yeah. But I mean, just some hippie stuff. That's

Unknown Speaker 58:57
just good. All the good all the good old crew keeping things interesting.

Scott Benner 59:02
I'll tell you from a distance, it seemed pretty crazy. Just they're gone. Now. They're gone. they disperse back to their lives. That's right. Oh, my God. This, this episode is terrific. First of all, you're great. You you I don't even think you needed me. I think I could have gotten on and been like, hey, Jill, tell people what happened to you. And then I could push the mic away and gone and had a sandwich and come back and you wouldn't be talking still. So I appreciate that very much. I'm glad the baby's healthy. Your husband's okay. Everybody's good with everything. Excellent. So I want to say that you are a great example of a quick transition. And the people who have been struggling for a long time. I think they should see you as a real like, a story of like hopefulness because all you all you really did was bump into the right doctor. Find a little bit of information, listen to a podcast. Get a huge Video, and then you're here you are, you have a 6.1 a one C, and you're living your life again, I think that everyone sometimes can believe that it's just such a long process. But the long part of the process is what you described in the beginning. It's the part where you're so. So my point is the process doesn't have to be long, it has to be focused on the right things. And that becomes difficult when you don't know what the right things are. Right, right. Because had you met Dr. Q, on day one, at that urgent care, you wouldn't have this long story and your process to type one diabetes would have felt very quick and easy. So it's not about diabetes takes a long time to figure out. I think it's more about sometimes it takes a long time to find people that can help you with it.

Jill 1:00:53
Yeah, I agree. And, you know, like all of the all of those little things that you mentioned, and like having Instagram and having the Facebook community and all of those things, like, they just add so much to the experience to make it easier. Because all I mean, I can't imagine being a type one diabetic, even 10 years ago, right? Where social media was like a thing, but not how it is now. I mean, there is so much information on how to do, how to manage your diabetes, and how to live your life and how to eat normally. Just at the tip of your fingers. You know, if I ever have something that pops up, I just get on my Instagram. And I'm like, okay, who has this? Let me make a post about it. Let me see if I can tag some people, right. It's just, you have so much more control. And I think finding, finding those little things just to make your life a little bit easier, even though it might feel frustrating at first. I mean, it just makes all the difference, you know, taking taking more control of your own health rather than waiting for doctors to figure stuff out.

Scott Benner 1:01:54
Yeah, well, because as you prove today, you could wait forever if you don't meet the right person. Yep, that's right. No, seriously, you would, you could be dead now if you didn't meet that woman.

Jill 1:02:04
serious. I think that all the time, Scott. I think that all the time. I have so many from January to April. I had a lot of really scary, scary incidents happen. And every time I took back the incident to a person in charge in my mind, I was just at home, you know, they're just like, yeah, that happens when you're diabetic. Now, you know, it just was so ridiculous.

Scott Benner 1:02:27
And now you know, no, it doesn't like that stuff doesn't actually have to happen. Yeah, I mean, at some point you you mixed air travel wine and DK together basically, you know,

Jill 1:02:39
oh, yeah, snowshoe I went snowshoeing all by myself. Which is intense. I had no control over my diabetes. I was like super shaky. I had a very intense low had no idea like that. That was a thing. Like, you know, I was just like, Oh, my blood sugar's low. I'm holding right now. Like, I had no idea what to do. I had nothing holding you know, laugh

Scott Benner 1:03:03
and wanting to say, What is wrong with you?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:07
I just had no information

Jill 1:03:09
I didn't know like, how to connect the dots. You know, I just was not getting anything. You know, all I knew was being high was scary. Yeah, you know, and that's it because for a type two that's the big Yeah, you're scared a big thing was being being high not being low and so it just is just a child. Pretty much

Scott Benner 1:03:30
this really is fascinating because aside of that time when you didn't understand about diabetes decided that time you're reasonably together person sound like it you don't mean like there's nothing about you that says snowshoeing with undiagnosed Type One Diabetes like it you don't seem like that person now. And and I assume you weren't that person outside of this bubble that existed which was a bubble of having diabetes and not knowing

Jill 1:04:00
and right If I had known you know, if I had truly understood all of the dangers I would have never done all the things that I was doing but I just didn't have the information that's it you know, it's just ridiculous.

Scott Benner 1:04:13
So you would tell people keep moving till you find a good doctor, first of all, right? And what other things have you learned that are valuable?

Jill 1:04:23
Oh, just get a community that was that was a game changer, right. Like, again in April when I met Dr. Q's team, one of the girls Monica, who is a diabetes educator and also an omni pod Rep. She is so kind and compassionate. I was like bawling. They were trying to get a Dexcom on me and I like didn't provide consent. They're just like, we need to put this on you. And I was like, I don't want that. I don't know what that is. And they're like, you need to have this on your body. Right? So they put this Dexcom on me. I feel like I'm a horse being branded like did not want anything on my body. didn't know what it was. And she's so sweet. She takes her hands in mind and she's like, everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna go home, you're gonna download the Juicebox Podcast. Okay, what is that called, like, repeat after me, you're also going to get yourself an Instagram, and you're going to get yourself people that also have diabetes. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:20
Wow.

Jill 1:05:21
I mean, that was the best advice that she could have given me because I was so emotional. And it had been four months of nonsense, right. And I did exactly what she told me. And those were two really simple things that I could control, you know, everything that the doctors are doing, I couldn't control, I just had to trust that they were giving me good advice. But you got to get yourself a community, that Instagram thing, you have to watch other people struggle and fail and get back up again. So that you can learn how to manage your failures, because that's, that's diabetes, you know, you're gonna screw it up sometimes. And you have to get to know your body. And there's no way to do it without watching other people do it.

Scott Benner 1:06:01
I had a guy reach out to me an adult, male, a week ago or so through Instagram. And it just seemed like he had been watching the account my account for so long. And he just finally had the nerve to say like, hello. And he's like, I don't know what to do, I need help. And I looked at his graph, and I was like, Hey, man, If I was you, I'd look at this, and this and this. And he's starting to, like, get control of it. And he should see how happy he is. Just it but but it was his, um, he got over the hump of like, not of not saying anything to anybody just imagining that his blood sugar had to stay in the two hundreds all the time. And I just had never been happier for a person who I've never seen before. Like, he doesn't put his face in his Academy where I don't know him. But I've never been happier for a person that I don't know, because he made this big. You know, he made a big grand gesture for himself. And for him, it was just reaching out to somebody and saying, I don't know what to do that and

Jill 1:07:04
I have found that so many people in this community, of course, your self included, are just so willing to help, you know, like, it's, it's, it's your health, if you're not willing to ask and say, Hey, I need help with this. I don't know, man, it's gonna be a lot harder, you know, and there's so many people out there with the knowledge who are happy to at least point you in the right direction. You know?

Scott Benner 1:07:25
Yeah, no, I've found that for sure. Well, I think we've learned that in this hour. You've talked about a lot of projects, but you only didn't avoid one of them. So the rest of us are pretty good at running from that's all I heard. Also, I have a image of you in a doctor's office, like a like in a horse bridle having a Dexcom put

Jill 1:07:47
on you for that was traumatic.

Scott Benner 1:07:51
I liked it. You were around people now that are just like, yeah, we'll worry about what Joe wants in a minute. He really well, because here's why. And I'll let you go in a minute. I know we're up on time. But it illustrates for me, like when people say about their kids, like, oh, he doesn't really want that. Or she I don't think she would like that. She said she doesn't want that. I'm like, yeah, no one wants that. No way. No one says to themselves, you know, it'd be cool. I'd like to wear an insulin pump. But then you guys run diabetes. You know what I mean? You go Okay, and then my, my thing to people has always been, what other life and death decisions do you let your eight year old make? Like, they're always like, well, it's their body. And I'm like, I get that. I was like, but try it anyway. Because, you know, in a week, they're not going to notice that I wore a G six last week. And the only problems I had with my G six was forgetting where that I had it on. When I was showering. Like that sounds I kept banging into with my hand and going, Oh, I'm wearing that I forgot. Like, and I've worn it on the pod demo. And the same thing happens. You know, a couple days later, you just you don't know what's there anymore.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:09
All right, you just get used to it.

Scott Benner 1:09:10
Yeah. And it's been and listen, people don't have to pump. They don't have to use the CGM. I'm not saying that. But if you're a parent sitting around thinking, Well, I do think this would be really beneficial. But you know, Billy doesn't want it and Billy six years old, maybe, you know, channel your introductory cue and just be like, shut up, Billy.

Jill 1:09:32
Yeah, sorry. Sometimes we have to do things that are hard. You know. That's just that's just how it is. Diabetes is not something to mess around with. You know, and if you have something that's going to make it that much easier, that you are going to kind of forget about I mean, you don't remember that you're wearing and unless you knock it on something and it comes off. Right yeah, I don't. I don't see what the what the weight is for. Those things are game changers because Am

Scott Benner 1:09:57
I Rachel in fairness, if we left this It's up to you, you wouldn't be wearing those things.

Jill 1:10:02
No. And I think I mean, I don't think I'm alone in that if you're an adult, who has lived your whole life without a device on your body, not looking not, you're not gonna want to wear a device. I mean, shocker. You know, like, it's not comfortable to have something stuck on you. At the beginning, people don't always like change, right? It's a that's a big life thing that you have to get used to. And especially as a woman, I think if you know, society pressures have so much to think about what we look like, it is a big mental step to think, Okay, I have to put this on my arm, or I have to put this on my leg or in a place where people could possibly see and ask questions. If you're not at that mental place to want to ask answer questions of people like what is that? It's a big thing to put on. I think if someone had just handed me the Dexcom, and said, Here you go wear it when you are you ready to wear it? I probably would have continued finger sticking for a while, because it's just a big step. And I'm so glad that I'm not still doing that. You know, there's some times that I run out of Dexcom supplies and I'm like, man, I have to go back to the old way. Like, this sucks.

Scott Benner 1:11:08
I remember interviewing Victor Garber. And he said, I have a I think it was a Dexcom around the pub one. I might have been in the party. So I have that it's in a drawer. I can't bring himself to do it. Now. He wears it. whichever one it was I forget which one it was. Now he now he wears it. And so you know, that's not the he's not the first person has told me I have the device. I put it in a drawer. Yeah, yeah. And so I get it. Like, you know, I listen, I remember taking Arden to the Children's Hospital for her first Dexcom insertion. And she said, going in there. I don't want this. And I was sure yeah, I was like, I know you don't. I said, I think it's going to help you. So let's try. And you know, and it's probably been the best decision we've ever made. Yeah, but and I'm not saying forced by the way. I'm not saying force your kids to do something kicking and screaming. But I'm saying there's a way to continue to the conversation. And you know, talk them into doing it at some point just you know, the trying it at the very least. Yep. Yeah. You Joe. Thank you. For for this thank you for basically creating like a two year relationship with me so I could get a cool podcast episode out of you. Because I just knew if we talked last year, this wouldn't have been how this couldn't have gone better, in my opinion. Just what I'm saying. Right. Thank you so much. I'm so happy. What did we name the baby?

Jill 1:12:32
zombie? His name's zavier. But we call him zombie.

Scott Benner 1:12:35
Not Scott. Okay, I got it. That's all you could have just said not Scott. I don't really care what your baby's name is. You understand?

Jill 1:12:43
My baby is adorable and any kind of attention he gets he's getting. I'm still a new mom. Okay. Oh, no,

Scott Benner 1:12:50
it's got to be the most exciting time. It doesn't end. By the way. If you're using my wife as an example, I still think my wife's ovaries twitch when my son his or daughter, like in trouble or sad or upset or anything. I don't think it goes away. Just so you know. You're gonna be tormented by that kid forever. Your mom is somewhere right now. tormented by the things that bother you. Just Oh,

Jill 1:13:12
she's downstairs? Yes. Our bed watching zombies.

Scott Benner 1:13:17
Is the Is he a handful?

Jill 1:13:20
He's becoming a handful right now because he just took his first couple steps. So yeah, he is becoming a little, a little nugget, that's for sure. But nothing I can't handle.

Scott Benner 1:13:33
You just made me think of the first time Arden ran across the room and almost made me cry. Isn't that sounds good? Ah, and she's 16. So just, you know, it's not gonna stop just so you know.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:42
I believe it.

Scott Benner 1:13:44
Thank you so much for doing this. I hope you have a Merry Christmas. I gotta tell you I really like this one. It's probably gonna go up pretty soon. A huge thanks to Joel for coming on the show and telling what I thought was an incredible story. Thanks also to Omni pod makers of the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump for being longtime sponsors, and another longtime sponsor Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. And never forget about touched by type one.org. Learn more about the sponsors and give them a look. My omnipod.com forward slash juicebox dex comm.com forward slash juicebox touched by telepon.org this was a good first show, isn't it? Right? We're starting off 2021 with a vibe that I liked. Let's keep it going.

Okay, so pretty soon, pretty soon, first couple weeks of January, on my Instagram and Facebook pages. I'll be putting up information and it'll basically say this we're gonna and basically here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna figure it out probably one or two episodes of the pro tip series at a time, you'll listen to it in your own time. And then there'll be a scheduled time with a zoom link that you can come and talk about it with a bunch of people. So, like a book club, we're gonna listen to something, then come together and talk about it. I thought that was a nice idea. I ran a pass and people, they seem to like it too. So we're gonna give it a shot. And if it works, we're going to go through the entire pro tip series. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say pro tip series, there are episodes within the podcast called diabetes pro tip and then an extension of what that episode is about. It begins at Episode 210. with diabetes pro tip newly diagnosed are starting over. And you can see all of those in one place at diabetes pro tip.com. Or you can just scroll back in your podcast player and listen to them there. So if that sounds good to you keep an eye out for the social media. I'm on the Instagram, and Facebook. Let's see on Instagram at Juicebox Podcast on Facebook, the public group is at bold with insulin. The private group is Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes, the information will be there very soon. I hope you're having a great start to your new year. I am genuinely jacked up about this next season. I can't wait to bring you all the things I have planned out. Oh, and I probably should say because so many people right now are trying to take advantage of others with their Instagram you know I'm a I'm a what was the one thing I saw that cracked me up I can't say are the personal note I am. Anyway, there's a lot of people charging money to get together and private Facebook groups and talk about things or have access to certain content. I do not do that this book club thing is completely free. So you'll never be asked to spend money to listen to this podcast. Keep that in mind. Anyway, I'll get you more details as soon as I have them. I'm looking forward to doing it. I think the first meeting should definitely be in January. And I can't wait for this next season of the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for leaving amazing reviews wherever you listen, subscribe in a podcast app and support the advertisers. If you do those things, you make the inside of my heart happy. I'll talk to you soon.

#424 Kibitz with Jenny

Scott and Jenny talk about stuff

End of year conversation

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:10
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the last episode of season six, the last episode of 2020. This is Episode 424. And did I don't know if it has a title, I just invited Jenny to come on and chit chat with me. And we just talked for a while. It was nice. 2020 actually began with an interview with Jenny. And I thought it would be nice if we ended with one as well. You know if you want to know how prolific 2020 has been for the podcast, that episode with Jenny, that went up on January 2 2020. That was Episode 293. And this is Episode 424. It's pretty crazy. This year is going to end with almost a million and a half downloads. That's just in 2020. So the podcast is taking off. And it's all because of you and how much you share and how much you listen. And I appreciate that. Give me just one second to shout out the sponsors. Although this episode is not sponsored, I fulfilled all of my sponsorships for 2020. But I still want to thank Dexcom Omni pod, the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, g Volk hypo pen and touched by type one. And I don't want to forget to mention the T one v exchange support from the sponsors is why the podcast is able to exist. It's why it's free. It's why it's plentiful. And I think it's why it's good. Sometimes I get emails from people, and they're like, can you please tell the host? And I laugh because I am the What do they call me the I do it all. This podcast is just me. editing, scheduling, recording technical stuff, making backups of the show. It's all a one man show. And it's supported by the ads and the advertisers. So thank you very much all of the great advertisers of the Juicebox Podcast. And a special thanks to all of you who have clicked on the links and check them out. dexcom.com forward slash juicebox learn more about that Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. Don't forget, if you're getting your insurance through the United States Veterans Administration, the VA, go check it out. You might be really happy with the coverage you find the Contour Next One blood glucose meter is my favorite blood glucose meter ever. It's the best one Arden's ever used. It's the most accurate, it's the easiest to use. And you can find out more about it at Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. And of course my daughter has been using an omni pod tubeless insulin pump since she was four. She is in the other room right now 16 years old and still using Omni pod because it is absolutely terrific. On the pod we'll send you a free no obligation demo. And all you have to do is go to my Omni pod comm forward slash juice box to request it. Touched by type one is a fantastic organization doing great things for people living with Type One Diabetes. They're a sponsor of the show. And you can find out more about them at touched by type one.org. And of course, g vo hypo pet. It's the glucagon my daughter Karis. And you can learn more about it at chivo glucagon.com. forward slash juicebox. And if you'd like to take just a few minutes to add meaningful data to great work that's being done for people to type on diabetes, go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. You can help support Type One Diabetes Research. It's super easy to do right there from your home. If nothing else, you don't have to go to a doctor. You can actually be part of something p one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox links in the show notes, links at Juicebox podcast.com, etc, etc, etc. Thanks for listening. Thanks for supporting the show. Here's my conversation with Jenny.

I thought it might be nice if we just had a relaxed conversation. Not about anything specific.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:45
Not about anything fun.

Scott Benner 4:47
Yeah, well no, no, we don't have to do any like hardcore diabetes stuff today. So like I said, I'm recording. So like I said to you when we spoke about recording today the very first episode of the season. Season Six was with you. And I and we basically had like a almost individual a little bit. Right. And, and this is gonna be the last episode of 2021. So I thought it would be nice to do the same thing. See? Yeah, right.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 5:15
I agree.

Scott Benner 5:15
Well, I guess we just have to chill out and relax and do something good. Plus, you don't get to hear about, you know, the people who are asking about you all the time. You know? So? No, yeah. So I get the notes. And it's always like, thank you. And at the end, just like don't thank Jenny to it, or on the Facebook page, where, where people, you know, I saw someone yesterday, say, you know, I went to integrate a diabetes to work with Jenny. She wasn't available. So they put me somewhere else. And I said, I think I answered back. And that might be my fault that Jenny doesn't have any room on her calendar. I told somebody recently, how, when you're telling me about emails you get from the podcast, people are like, Oh, your people? And I was like, Yeah, they're just the people listen to the podcast, that there's much your people as they are my people.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:06
Right?

Scott Benner 6:08
I don't know. I just wondered 2021 that needed to be wrapped up somehow. So how was your year?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 6:17
My year was, I mean, all around. It was a fine year. I mean, it really was I, you know, nothing major. Thankfully, in our family, we didn't have any, you know, disruptions in any weirdness. But it is what it is. And we made it through and hopefully next year is better. Other ways. Like I really, I think this this year, like everybody sort of missed travel and that kind of stuff, you know, the conferences and things that I was supposed to speak at, and a couple of them. Usually I bring my husband and my guys along with me, and they kind of go and explore the city while I'm stuck inside a freezing cold conference center. So we didn't do that this year. But, you know, hopefully next year, that'll be back on the agenda. Maybe and

Scott Benner 7:09
so I missed my speed here. Yeah, I missed this stuff. I was supposed to speak out. I wish I could have. It would have been nice. My family never offers to come with me. That's one third just like goodbye. I think they're trying to get away from me. And, hey, we don't even have to run away. He's gonna leave this is perfect. But I do, I did miss like that conversation, meeting people. Right, who found the podcast and came out to say hello are watching the faces of people in the audience. As you say something, it clicks in their head, and you can see them think like, Oh, right, why did I never think of that, you know, at this, at this moment, I'm not 100% sure if you stood me up in front of people, if I'd remember any of the things that I used to say, I might have to go back and study up a little bit because it Yeah, I'm not I'm not certain.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:56
In fact, I think the travel I don't know if it was the last travel you had to but was literally like March 1, oh, no, I came home from Atlanta was when we were at the jdrf thing in Atlanta together. And that was the last literal travel that I did.

Scott Benner 8:11
Well, the first thing you and I ever did together was the last thing I've ever done. So right,

Unknown Speaker 8:15
yeah. That's weird. It

Scott Benner 8:18
was really strange. I just, I feel like I feel I felt like back then. There was this talk of like, people are getting this thing and they're calling it comme Coronavirus. And it seems like it's getting serious, like that was the vibe around it. But I'm just gonna go to Georgia, because it's probably nothing and, you know, then by the time I got home, it was just like getting your homes, alarms going off and

Jennifer Smith, CDE 8:44
close the doors

Scott Benner 8:46
through the street with pitchforks, and, you know, lanterns and I was like, Oh, wait a minute, I just made it back.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 8:52
Right. I can remember being at the Atlanta airport, you know, flying home actually is more like where I remember seeing a lot of people already like wearing masks in the airport. And, you know, my silly brain was just like, we know something is going on. Right? And I wasn't like being I mean, I always wash my hands. I was very cognizant of what I taught when I'm in a very public place like that, or even on airplanes. Yeah. And like wiping things down. But like the people with the masks on in the airport, I was sort of like, Hmm, maybe I should be a little more careful. Maybe not. And then of course, like two weeks later, everything got close. So

Scott Benner 9:33
yeah, suddenly you're running around going I need a mask.

Unknown Speaker 9:36
Where's Right, right.

Scott Benner 9:38
And that was a great event. They did a really nice job with that one. Kim ran that I think,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:43
yeah, it was a really they did a wonderful, wonderful job. In fact, I met several people actually who came there specifically for your presentation, which was awesome. had literally drove in from like other states to be able to come in Then called to do some work with

Unknown Speaker 10:03
me nice.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 10:04
So it was kind of nice because I'd actually gotten to meet them in person at that conference, and now I've gotten to know them. And they're lovely people. And

Scott Benner 10:14
it's so nice. I just interviewed the husband of one of the adults living with Type One Diabetes, that they'll be met there. And I think it just went up a little while ago. Awesome. Yeah, it just it was a great, it was really interesting, too, I thought. So let me say something nice about you. Oh, so aside of your knowledge of diabetes, and how you think about it, which I think jives very closely with how I think about it. You're really good at being on the podcast, you probably don't even realize that, but you're very comfortable to talk to you wait, and jump in at the right times. I don't think we ever talk over each other while we're talking. Nothing's planned, which makes it even more kind of crazy that it works. But when we got to Georgia, we did like, I think you did a room while I was doing a room. And then you came into my room. And then we did one together. Yep. didn't practice it. I didn't tell you what we were gonna talk about. I just grabbed the microphone, I started talking. And when it felt comfortable, I threw it to you. And when it felt comfortable, you threw it back to me. And I really thought it worked amazingly. Well. You were like the best partner for talking about diabetes was so thank you very much.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 11:25
Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I think actually, we have literally only talked in person, like five minutes prior to me coming in on kind of the second half of your whole presentation and talk and everything. So yeah, you had come in before I was doing sort of a breakout in another room about I can't remember what the topic was. But yeah, it was kind of fun. Because then I just got to chat with you on

Scott Benner 11:50
stage with everybody. We basically just met there. And then it gets crazy. Again, you can't find each other. Like I was like, well, I'll have lunch with Jenny. And then when it happened, I couldn't find you. Yeah, you know, and that was I think we said goodbye, maybe. And then we were back recording again a couple weeks later. But no, it's just you have no idea because there are people I have on throughout the years. And I think this person's very knowledgeable about this. And there's more to say about it. But it was just too hard to talk to them. Not that they did anything wrong. It just there was there's no there was no comfortable back and forth. It didn't work right. And I ended up not doing it again with them. So I'm just think I'm lucky. And everyone listening is lucky. Because you're just very good at this. And have you ever done anything like this prior to being on this podcast? No,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:37
not ever I need my other are much more professional, like, prepare it ahead of time put the PowerPoint thing together. You know, I think the the closest to this would be I've done some webinars for some type one adult groups kind of more on like the West Coast that I've done sort of in an evening kind of program for them. But again, it's more of a pick a topic, put some information together and then have some some discussion with the people who were joining in to learn. But it's never been this. I know I never think of like I always think that this is like a little bit of a break from my work day. Whenever I get to like talk and do this with you. It's very enjoyable. I totally I love it.

Scott Benner 13:23
I completely agree. Oh, no, no, I 100% agree. I always leave. I always come in the room smiling and leave the room smiling. And then I say your name a couple of times during the day. And my wife's like, Did you have a good time with anything? I was like we did. And then I start talking about it. And I realize she's making fun of me and then I stop. So

Unknown Speaker 13:39
that's funny. Yeah,

Scott Benner 13:40
it just is a really, it's a stroke of luck. Because, I mean, honestly, the podcast does really well. But it does better because of you. Like there's just no doubt about it. Like I could get on the microphone and talk through those ideas. But it just wouldn't have the same feeling. And I think it wouldn't be as engaging. I think it might taste like medicine a little bit when people are listening. There's something about our conversation that makes it, you know, easy for people to pick up. And because of that, and I'm sure you do too. But I'm up to about 10 to a dozen notes a day about people's lives getting better. And that's just a really big deal. I mean, I used to write about this stuff on my blog, and I would get them I'd get a letter like once a month, you know, a couple times a month, hey, this is really helping me. But the podcast just it's at a different frequency. And I really think it's got a lot to do with the fact that I found you so I'm glad that you think of it as a break. That's really nice. Like you're talking about diabetes all day.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:47
I do I think of it it's it's kind of like whenever I see it on my calendar for the weekend, like oh yeah, I get to talk to Scott this week. It's it's always fun to have a conversation even as in depth in some of The topics as we get, I think, the nice thing is that there's a, I know, there's a, there's a comfort level from both sides from your side and my side in terms of the discussion point. And again, like, I usually don't know what you're going to bring up for the day, which is even, I think nicer to keep it more conversational. But it's, we have a very easy like back end flow of information. And I, the big thing is, I never really feel like I'm like educating you. Which I guess is the reason that I like the conversations, because even though you ask some questions for me to elaborate on, right. And I know that it's helping so many other people when they're listening. It's also nice to have your sort of background and whatnot along with it.

Scott Benner 15:53
Well, I see. That's right. I feel like you just referred to me like as almost appear. And that's way too kind. But I very much appreciate it, I have to say that some of the nicest things around this diabetes stuff that's been said to me over the years is by you. When you once told me, if you once said if you had a degree, you could do this, like you could do my job. I was really touched by that. And very similarly, when you said that my tug of war description for Pre-Bolus Singh was like the best way you would ever heard it explained,

Unknown Speaker 16:31
is Oh,

Scott Benner 16:32
no, no, that really makes me that makes me uncomfortable, even now that you just said it again. But it. But that meant a lot to me. Because I don't know, I just I don't know why it's surprising to me, other than to say that if you could get into a time machine and go back 30 years, and find 19 year old Scott, and you could really get to know him. And then I pulled you aside and said that kid, one day will be the person that people listen to about this, this this, you'd go No, No, that can't be right. I just met the guy and I don't think I think you've got the wrong person. There's no way it just, it is to this day. shocks me that I'm the person who runs this podcast. It doesn't Yeah, I don't. It's weird that it's me. And I don't I recognize that. What I'm what I'm good at. And, like, I'm not shocked on that level. Like, it's not false modesty. It's not like, it's not like, Oh, I don't really know that stuff. You shouldn't say that. It's not that I don't feel like an imposter. It's just if you could have seen the trajectory of my life. It just didn't. It wasn't I don't know how it ended up being me other than Arden got diabetes, you know. So, yeah, it's very,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 17:49
I think, I think life experiences

Unknown Speaker 17:53
shift people often.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 17:56
And I, whether people choose to keep moving along with that shift or not, sort of is the difference. I think, you know, I mean, when I, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I had wanted to be a veterinarian, since I was like, a very small child. My grandpa had a farm I loved like all the animals, I always ask big questions. We had cats when I was growing up, I always wanted to go to the veterinarian office whenever we did ask lots of questions. And then when I was diagnosed, you know, I had really good educators, thankfully. And in high school, then just sort of like shifted, I realized I was really good at science. And I really also started my mom is an amazing cook. She just, she's awesome. And I kind of realized that because food was such a big part of diabetes management, that maybe I should kind of switch gears and sort of go the route of in a different didn't want to be a nurse. I don't do some of nursing things very well. They bleed all over me. But like the whole, like mucus angle can do that thing. So I was like, Oh, I like do I like nutrition anyway, so let's be a dietitian. And then I knew that I didn't want to do that. Like I don't want to teach people about low cholesterol diets. That's just not for me. Right. But diabetes was the thing. So again, I I kind of think, you know, I don't know, who knows, maybe if something else had happened in your life with kids, maybe you would have had a very different angle. But this was the course that you were supposed to have. And you've done an amazing thing for so many people starting this you have,

Scott Benner 19:39
I just feel like I thank you. I just feel like I saw its value. And so I leaned into it. But I mean, there's a part of me, I won't lie to you. There was a part of me at one point that thought, This is what I'm going to do. Like I'm going to write about and talk about diabetes in my free time. Like I don't even have diabetes. Have you been watching my blood sugar's online? I definitely go. I

Jennifer Smith, CDE 20:03
haven't. Actually I should I definitely

Scott Benner 20:05
about it. I definitely don't have diabetes. So good. Yeah, yeah, you actually, isn't it funny the irony of what I'm doing? I haven't even taken the time to like, celebrate that I don't have it. There's a couple times I'm like, Oh, this isn't not very exciting for the people watching. Instead of just thinking, this is great that I can walk past that candy dish pull, like, three candies out that total like 30 carbs, it's just pure sugar. And Ethan, and my blood sugar doesn't move. And I haven't had I haven't even had time to be like, yeah, that's exciting. But to what I was saying, there was a moment where I was like, This is what I'm gonna do, because my trajectory was, I wanted to be a screenwriter, like I wanted to write movies. That's how I, that's what I thought about when I was growing up. And then I was in a poor family, I didn't get to go to college, I had to go right to work. And I just had terrible jobs. I mean, like, I worked in sheetmetal, shops and paint rooms, and just terrible things. And the entire time I was there, I would just feel like, I'm not supposed to be here. Like, this isn't my I didn't, I didn't I love the guys that I worked with. And that whole part of it was terrific. But I just kept thinking, like, I have these things in my head, I should, okay, and but I'd get home, I'd be so tired, it wouldn't matter. And I was still broke, and just kept going over and over again, like that. And one day, I just thought, I've got to get out of this, like I can't, you know, I can't keep doing this forever. And a friend of mine was collecting debts. And she's like, you can talk, you can, you could do this job easily. So then the next thing I knew, I went from like, a sheet metal shop to sitting in a cubicle with a screen in front of me and somebody whose information would pop up, you'd have 10 seconds to familiarize yourself with this data on the screen. And trust me, it didn't look like computers. Look. Now it was you know, wasn't easy. And then you'd hear a voice and they'd be like, hello. And they were there. Hi, Jenny. My name is Scott. I'm calling from I forgot what it was something bank. You're 28 days late, on your on your payment, you're in jeopardy of going to 60 days late. We really need you to make a payment right now. I was Dunning people. And wow, I didn't know that I was so good at it. I quit the job. Because it made me feel bad how good I was at it. Like it was a job you didn't want to be good at. Right. You know, and, and so I used that experience to move to a credit union doing the same thing. And then the minute I could get out of it, I became their graphic designer, which I had no background in whatsoever. It was it was a little tiny credit union. And the job came up. And I went to the Human Resources person. I said, I can do that. Like I've seen the things that you guys produce here. I can make them all. And they just what would it hurt them? Like I wasn't making very much money. So they took a flyer and I did well at it. And did it for a number of years until Kelly got pregnant was cold. And then I quit my job and I had been a stay at home dad for I quit my job at the end of 1999. Wow, yeah, I haven't had a real job since then. And but I never, I would write things I would try to write things and never had enough time, I was always exhausted. And then Arden got diagnosed. And I was I didn't know what to do. So I wrote a blog about diabetes. You know, I just didn't, I didn't want her to struggle at some point. And I really felt like she was going to and I wasn't understanding it. And I don't have the kind of brain this is gonna sound strange. Maybe I can't I couldn't figure it out. Like I couldn't step back and look at it and figure it out. I had to like live through it, and then go back and write about it. And then like little lights would get turned on as I was going. That's why some people are, you know, I see some people online, they're like, I'm not getting this quickly enough be very upset with themselves then, like your kids had diabetes for six months. Like it two years, I was still crying in the shower, you know, like it's only six months in, and your kids a one c seven, and I can see it coming down consistently like you're, you know, three months from now you have this? Right, you know, it took me a lot longer to figure it out. And it really wasn't until I wrote something on the blog, one day when it really just hit me I was like, there's a system here. I didn't even realize it at first. And, and I didn't even know what it was. I just knew it was there. So I picked through everything that I wrote and it was like that and that plus that and that equals a good outcome. And you know, and then I picked those pieces and I refined them down

Jennifer Smith, CDE 25:00
It's kind of like data analysis, really. But you just did it in a different way.

Scott Benner 25:03
Yeah, trust me, because I can't analyze data. And so and so I kept distilling them down. But I, I understood them already. I didn't need I was distilling them down so I could write about them. Right, because I have a real belief about communication. And I don't think that people like to be talked at. And I don't think people like things that sound like medicine, especially when they're already, you know, upset. And so I just kept going. And I just kept telling myself, like, if you can make these ideas, t shirt, slogans, and people will be able to remember them. And that was it. And, and then I guess it's just lucky that I wrote that book. Because I got to write a book called Life is short laundry is eternal. And it was about being a stay at home dad. That got me. I can remember the exact day that I decided to make a website for myself, like Scott Benner calm, which is don't go look at it. It's, I haven't looked at it in like 10 years. But because I made that around the book. Katie Kirk's producer found me looking for Father's around Father's Day. Wow. Right. And so the next thing I knew, I was on a soundstage in in New York, doing this interview with Katie Couric. And when it was over, she grabbed me and she was like, you're so good at this. And I was like, What is it? I'm good at, like, cuz I didn't even know. I didn't know what she was talking about. She's like, you're just so entertaining. And you speak so freely. This was wonderful, as like, thank you. And then I left. And like two weeks later, a different producer called me and she said, I'm Katie Kirk's producer. And I was like, No, you're not. I already spoke to Katie Kurtz producer. She's a different person. She does know that her web producer, I'm her television producer. And I was like, okay, and she goes on, we have a slot. In a couple of days. We're having some single dads or some stay at home dads, come on. And we'd like you to come. I was like, yeah, I'll do that. You know. So the next thing Oh, awesome. It was so cool. But I got there. And she looked at me and smiled. Like she knew me, like, recognize me, which was nice. And I sat down. And Jenny, it if one of these things is not like the other ever existed, it was me. Right? Like, I was like, much older than these other guys. These guys were all like very kind of like metrosexual guys from like New York and stuff like that, right? Who are just like, you know, taking care of their kids. And, and I'm just answering the questions that come along. And then this one guy starts talking about this whole experience is making my wife and I closer, and he's just it was so pie in the sky and like happy and I just, it wasn't my turn to talk. But I leaned down, I looked down the line. I was like, Hey, I interrupted him. And I was like, how long have you been married? And he goes, Oh, we've been married like a year. And I laughed. And then I could see on the monitor, the cameras swung over to me. And I was like, You don't have any idea what you're talking about. You're not even married yet. Like I said, Come back 15 years from now and tell me that story. And then I'll tell you, you're doing a great job. And then I said something old

Jennifer Smith, CDE 28:15
are your kids at this point?

Scott Benner 28:17
It was eight years ago. So Cole was like,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 28:20
Oh, so it was a long it was Yeah, they were old enough, like well, old enough that you had been married and had life with kids. And I

Scott Benner 28:28
had already been yelled out a couple of 1000 times I knew what like what it was like to be married. And so and, and I don't remember what I said next. But whatever I said next made 500 people who were in the studio audience laugh at the same time. And I have to tell you that that is a feeling that is difficult to duplicate. Because now you feel like you feel like a puppet master. Like I wonder if I can make them do this. And what if I could try and write you know what I mean? And then, and then Katie pulled me aside again afterwards and said, Wow, that was terrific. She's like, you were this whole thing. And I said, Thank you. And she's like you, this was going nowhere, and you absolutely saved it. And it was just such a nice moment. And then she's awesome. And that made me think about making a podcast. So that's it. I never would have leapt from the diabetes blog to a diabetes podcast. It didn't occur to me to do that. So sure it was her so if you're all happy with your agency's thank Katie Clark.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 29:33
Well, I think you know, the big thing too is like I and maybe this is just sort of like reading into but like the feeling you got when the people laughed, and you knew it was an honest laugh. Like it wasn't a generated like, audience please laugh kind of signed up above like, they thought it was hilarious.

Scott Benner 29:52
Yeah.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 29:53
And you kind of took that even if it was on like a subconscious level and said, you know, if I can make people laugh Why can't I take what I know? And like, give that to more people to just be able to feel like they can do better to, like, I don't want to be the only one doing a good job at this. And I mean, that's kind of myself too. Every time somebody sends me a message that, you know, I got my agency down, and now my doctor has given me a go ahead to get pregnant. Or, you know, my child's endo team is astounded at what we're doing together. And they're amazed at his agency being here. And they're usually happy if it's just at seven and a half, you know, I mean, then the notes and things that's my like, audience happy laughing to me, like, I just, that's why I like doing what I do.

Scott Benner 30:48
So I appreciate that. And I feel the exact same way. When the first person told me that their doctor told me to listen to the podcast. I was like, Ooh, I'm doing I'm onto something. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that same kind of interaction where the audience laughed? Is, I tried to, I don't know how to say I don't. I don't. Is it funny? I'm not trying to insult anybody, because I'm definitely not I don't have those feelings. But I know how your blood sugar can be stable and steady. Right? And it's, I see it as my job to get it across to people. Anyway, I can. And I know that the picture you paint for one person that makes them go, Okay, this is it isn't the one that works for someone else. Right. Right. And so while I think most people make podcasts thinking, well, I am tangentially related to this subject. And I'll have conversations with people about it. It'll be interesting. And those people are always wrong, or not always wrong. But podcasts are interesting. There are a lot of podcasts, I believe that at the moment, there are 1.5 million of them. Of those 1.5 million. I forget what it is, maybe only a half a million, put up an episode a month, have only 50% of them get like 140 downloads per episode. So the truth is, it's easy to have a podcast like it used to be easy to have a blog, the large majority of them are either aren't being produced regularly or no one's really listening to them to begin with. Sure, like for perspective, while you and I are recording this, I should have a couple of 100 new downloads. By the time I put this down again, this podcast gets a lot of downloads. So there's this very finite amount of podcasts that anybody's actually listening to. And I realized that not everybody hears the tug of war story and then goes, Oh, Pre-Bolus thing, I got it. And you also have to realize that not everybody's hearing every episode. So right, my job's not just to do it once. It's to do it over and over and over again, in a way that hopefully doesn't take the people who found the show five years ago, and and bore them. Like I want them to stay for the community aspect. And because in truth if they stay, then the podcast gets more downloads of the podcast gets more downloads, then it's easier to sell ads. And if it's easier to sell ads, and I get to keep making the podcast, right like this thing kind of like all ties itself together. But I am working the strings of the puppets a little bit like I do say things to trick the people listening to into understanding diabetes. It's it doesn't it's not that's not the intention, but it is a positive trick. Yes, it's a very positive.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 33:41
It's, it's a positive reasoning trick. There's not like anything, you know, malicious.

Scott Benner 33:48
Right. Now what I've basically done is I've taken my superpower, and I've turned it to good. Like, really, unless you ever seen the boys on Amazon, some of these guys get superpowers and they just do terrible things with it. Not me. I've decided to do something good with it. So yeah, it makes me think of the last day of ninth grade. I have very few memories of school. But I'm going down the hallway. And my guidance counselor comes out of his office and grabs me and it's such an impactful moment that I I remember his name and I remember no one's name, and I'm sure he's got to be long passed, but his name was Mr. Wiley. He pulled me into a like a little nook, which today I think would be assault. And he goes, What are you gonna do in high school? And I was like, What? What do you want to be when you grow up? And I'm like, I, my brain. I'm like, Well, now we're talking about this, oh my god, we're out of here in three hours. I'm never coming back to this building. I said, I don't really know. And he said, You should be an attorney. That's what I think. And I said why? And he goes, you're just very good at talking to people. You should be an attorney. And I remember feeling very filled with like, I came from a divorced family. Nobody ever told me nice things about myself. You know, there was no time for that. And I think Felt good that he thought I could be an attorney. And then I said, I couldn't do that. And he said, Why? I said, Well, then I'd be an attorney. And he laughed, because I think he thought I was making like casting aspersions at the law profession. But what I really meant was that I'd be an attorney every day for the rest of my life. Like, and I don't want to do that. I don't want to do anything every day for the rest of my life. I feel like there's a lot of things I could do. And he laughed, I laughed, we were like, hey, and then I, you know, I walked out. I remember it because it was a positive impact because somebody, an adult, said something to me as a child that was positive. But then I did exactly the opposite of his. Like, I didn't lean into my education at all, like I looked at high school as something I had to get through. Right, which was a huge mistake. But I just negotiated my way through that. Just every I got to high school. They put us in this auditorium, and said there was a technical school that was a few miles away, where you can learn to weld or, you know, do all this stuff. And there was a field trip, you could go look around. And I was like, that sounds like for losers. That's how I write. And then they said, and the way the schedule runs is two weeks a month, you go to tech school full time and two weeks a month, you go to high school full time, and I thought, so I only have to go to high school for a year and a half. If I go to tech school, put me on that bus. So I went over, went through every room. No small engine repair, making the food for the cafeteria, there was hairdressing school. I don't want to do any of

Jennifer Smith, CDE 36:36
that way to come in handy. This past separate. See my

Scott Benner 36:39
hair right now, by the way if I could cut my own hair. So I made the decision to go to baking school. Because that had the most pretty girls. Listen, if I have to come to avoid a year and a half of high school, I'm gonna come I'm doing this. My parents were like, whatever. Like they just nobody cared. And, and I just picked the room with the most pretty girls. And now I can bake like you wouldn't believe.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 37:11
I'm glad you learned something out of it besides just looking at pretty girl. Yes,

Scott Benner 37:15
yes. Where you can make a cinnamon button six at a time. I can make 600 of them at a time. So I'm, that's the kind of baking I learned to bill. But I really I got out of that. I got a job in a bakery. You had to start at 130 in the morning. I did it for a week and I quit. I was like I'm not doing this. Yeah. I

Jennifer Smith, CDE 37:37
was so happy during my my dietetic internship, the food service aspect of it. I mean, I knew that I was never going into food service. I'd never wanted to do that. But we had to do that type of a rotation. And I too had to be in the bakery of the hospital system food service area. I think it was like 230 in the morning. And I was like,

Scott Benner 38:01
I couldn't do

Jennifer Smith, CDE 38:02
glad this four weeks is done. Bye. Bye. I will not be

Scott Benner 38:08
I texted my brother last night around six o'clock to wish him a happy birthday. And he was just waking up and getting ready to go to work because he works a shift and like shift work.

Unknown Speaker 38:17
I'm like, Oh my god, how

Scott Benner 38:18
does he do that? You know? But yeah, I just, there was nothing. And I just jumped my my uncle gave me a job. But did that for a while I did everything else that I told you about it. There's a bunch of others. I've worked in a 711 for like a year. Like, that was it like I just I wanted, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I cut lawns for people. And it's Kelly really, who deserves a lot of credit for seeing who I was through what my life made me look like I was Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense or not. But I didn't like if you looked at what I did and how I did it. I appeared one way but she actually listened to me and you know, kind of heard my thoughts and I just got randomly lucky. I really, I really belong, like in a trailer somewhere. Oh, no, I do. You know, please

Unknown Speaker 39:06
really don't left

Scott Benner 39:08
my own devices. I'm somewhere with a with like a bog. like Shrek basically is what I'm saying. I think that's about all I would have accomplished on my own. Kelly was the one who I think saw like my potential. And not that she was trying to coax it out of me. But she didn't judge me for the other stuff. You know, like that I was working in the 711 which there's nothing wrong with it was a perfectly fine job and, and I did it I worked hard at it. But you know, it's not a career, obviously. And it just was a way to pass time and make some money to pay bills. And one day I just realized I'm like all you're doing is living to pay this bill to live to pay the bill like this. You don't have to do something. But a lot of just lucky. Like I said like how do I talk to a human resources person into letting the credit card collector do the it's so If any, if all this tells you one thing, it's that my, it's talking is what I'm really good at. So I talked my way.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 40:08
And I think you've, you've sort of finessed your talking, though, to a point of really being able to teach. And that's there's a difference. Because, I mean, there are a lot of professionals who have gone to college and spent 1000s of dollars to do what they do, and still do not talk. Well. They just and that's I feel bad saying it, but it's the truth. I mean, and dust is. Dust is I think a lot of the reason, and I certainly wouldn't down any of the diabetes professionals that are out there. But when you're in a, in a when you're managing a condition, like diabetes, talking sometimes needs to go beyond, like, the basic hit points on a list to address. And you have to get to a very personal level of talk in order to meet the need. And everyone's needs are everyone's needs are different.

Scott Benner 41:15
Right? So well. Yeah, that's that's basically what answered the question to me when people like when I talk to somebody privately, that doesn't have diabetes, like they're like, wait, so someone listens to your podcast to learn about diabetes, instead of talking to their doctor. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, the doctors are, generally speaking not great at explaining it to them. And you know, it's hard for like a lay person who doesn't have type one to even understand how that would be. Because most people's experience with doctors, is one of the problems with going to a doctor, is that your support you people think you go in there and you sit quietly, and they tell you something, and then you leave with the answer, right? And it just doesn't work that way, especially with type one. But still even talking. Like if I'm not lying to you, if I tell you that 30 seconds before you popped up, I was thinking maybe we should talk about like some, like, do some defining diabetes stuff. And then when I saw you, I was like, No, let's just talk like, do like an end of year wrap up. So nothing that I've said, while we were talking Have I ever considered before I said it, and I speak pretty quickly. So that I make sense. While I'm talking. That's where I think, again, I think everyone's good at something. But I'm proud of myself, like I can't believe I'm this good at speaking in a coherent way that leads to something I'm not just filling time.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 42:39
Yeah, you should be proud of what you've put out there. I mean, it's, it's, it's been beneficial enough in specially in terms of what you've seen in the listeners that you have and the growth and who it's reaching that more and more and more people keep, like, Hey, you should listen to the juicebox. Hey, you should listen to the juice box. And that outreach is beyond. I mean, I don't know how many other places I know, online, too, that I could send people to listen to, or do a little bit more reading or whatnot. And but many of them, I don't I mean, there are lots of them. Yeah, and I don't direct people to very many other sites, I just don't, because when, when you want somebody to really learn and to continue to learn, especially in the past five years, with all the changes that have come with diabetes management, you have to continue to evolve and move along with that in your discussion. And you also have to be willing to say, Hey, you know, a couple of years ago, I remember we talked about such and such, and with today's technology, we don't need to do that anymore, or we don't need to do it as much, or it's changed now. So you need to continue to sort of move people into learning that things aren't just gonna stay where they are.

Scott Benner 44:07
Well, those. So I think where most people get stuck, and this is where the listeners deserve. A lot of the credit is there, those people get so stuck trying to drive traffic that they take what's what they hear people talking about online, and they turn it into content. And I don't think of it that way. I don't look to the people who need the answers, for the ideas about what to say. And I think those other blogs and probably some of the look, I don't know, I've never listened to another type one podcast, but I can tell you that I can see some metrics online. And as far as Type One Diabetes podcasts go, there's this one, and then the rest don't come anywhere near this one in terms of listenership right and, and I don't mean them, I think it's terrific. Like I really think it's terrific that people do what they do and if they're helping people, I think that's terrific, but If they they'd see more growth, if they were giving people something that made a listener, like get off and think I have to tell somebody about this. Right, right. You know, I, I listened to podcasts, and some of them, I enjoy, but I would never tell anyone else to listen to. And there are some that every time I'm with somebody, I'm like, have you heard this conversation on this thing? Like, it's, it drives you to want to talk to somebody. I just think that, while he, you know, Jenny and I talked maybe a week ago, we set a schedule. So like, she's on the schedule throughout 2021. And I told her what I wanted to do in 2021. And then I was like, hey, in 2022, I also think we should start moving in this direction a little bit. And, and that's what she's talking about, like, I know where diabetes is going. And I need to understand it so that when it's happening to you listening in real time, I'm already, you know, I can I can articulate it in a way that will help you do it. Right. I just see it that way. Like I've never worried about the clicks, I always think about anything that I've ever produced and put online. If it's good people will listen to it, if it's great people will tell people about it. But you can't force people to tell people about things that we're sharing, like, please share, please click please. Like, just if it's good, it's good if it's not stop wasting people's time. And I think the diabetes space where it fails over and over again, is that it just does the same kind of banal over and over again, like, Hey, here's a recipe for a fourth of July. Right, Great, thanks. I don't my kids chart jumps up my graph goes 463 5082. Right, I don't your low carb, you know, hotdog bun recipe is not gonna save my life, I have bigger problems. And, and all of those other places, no matter how friendly, they try to make them, Look, our businesses, and they are not going to go out on a limb and tell you how to Pre-Bolus they just won't. It's the it and it's despicable that it's despicable that some doctors won't even do it. Because they don't want you to get low and come back and say, Look what you did to me. I would rather you drop dead 15 years before you're supposed to and have nobody to sue. And and, you know, I gave them I gave them competent care is what they would think when it was over. And not everyone's like that. But if there wasn't a lot of people like that, then this podcast would have no need and nobody be listening to it. So

Jennifer Smith, CDE 47:33
well. And I think that's, that's kind of you can't really sugarcoat things, right? Because people eventually see that. And you have to give it like it is this is the information. This is how to do it, if you choose to go forward and use it. Great. And if you don't, well, then at least you heard it somewhere, right? I mean, it's kind of like the eons ago. I mean, my nephew, who is now 21, he was diagnosed when he was seven. And at that point, when he was diagnosed, his doctors kept telling his parents, it's okay, if his blood sugar is, you know, 250 he's little. And that's okay, for right now. We're just worried about him being too low. And whenever my husband and I, we didn't have kids at that point, but whenever we'd go and visit them, I'd be like, it is not okay for his blood sugar to be 250. I mean, that was like eons ago, right? Like 15, or whatever years ago. Not quite but and so bringing this up now is really important, because there are a lot of little kids and teens being diagnosed. And for them to know from the beginning that despite their services being much more conservative, and that quote, unquote, like, let's make sure that you're safe. And by no means am I saying Don't be safe. But that down the road, like you said 15 years from now. They're little blood vessels and things are not going to be safe because you were more comfortable with a blood sugar of 200.

Scott Benner 49:17
Yeah, so the the evil person that lives inside of me that, you know, that I got rid of a long time ago who could have become an attorney and become really rich doing it. That person doesn't get the worst thing that I can imagine Jenny is wasted time. Like I have a real trouble with that. I do not like to waste time. I don't like to have conversations that that aren't valuable. I don't like to have friends that I just I hate wasting time right? It feels like the ultimate sin. And if I was the type of person who could put out a podcast about nothing and draw you into it when You could be out there using that time, legitimately learning how to make yourself healthier. I couldn't live with myself and do something like that i and i think that there are too many people who have talked themselves into believing there's no real help for these people with diabetes. So I'll just serve them this bland content. And I'll get them excited every year about a cure coming. And then I'll string them along with some recipes for something. And then once in a while, I'll let somebody tell a story about how scary it was to have diabetes. And that'll keep them locked in with fear. I mean, I want you people to listen, which is why I do the interviews with other people. I think good stuff comes out of the interviews. But I think also that too many of you listening don't know another person with Type One Diabetes. So you get to listen to people who have type one, I try to make it entertaining, so that it's not just like, the same thing over and over,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 50:58
where they could essentially be watching like a presentation on a PowerPoint. Yeah, you don't want that there's no personality.

Scott Benner 51:07
I talked to April Blackwell a couple days ago, and I put it right up. And I think we talked about diabetes for eight seconds. And then she, she flies the International Space Station. So like, this is what we need to be talking about, you know, and she has type one diabetes. Same thing with when Alyssa Wallerstein was on. She said, world class cello player, like I asked her about how she Pre-Bolus is, you know what I mean? Like, like, no, like, like, let's have great conversations. Those conversations to me are really interesting and help you meet people who have type one diabetes who do interesting things. Because if I just came on every time and I was like, Alright, feet on the floor, this is what it is, you know, you'd be out of here, and it wouldn't help you then. And I have to part of my job is to trick you into doing better with your diabetes. Like it really is. Like I said something online the other day, somebody asked a question. And I was like, Jenny said that I can't remember where. And there's this part of me that's like, wait a minute, are you not listening to every episode? I'm doing this very specifically for you. But I understand everyone can't listen to every minute. Or that maybe I don't do a good job sometimes or whatever, or you know, but the idea is that I honestly believe if you went back, I don't know, I haven't heard episode one since I recorded it. I don't know what's in it. But what I can tell you is if you went back, found a way to listen to 420 episodes of this podcast, when you got to the end, you'd be incredibly good at taking care of your diabetes. And you may have heard, you may have heard 50 hours of conversation that later you could write off and say it had nothing to do with it. But I don't know how to point you to the exact episodes you need to hear like I don't know which episode, Jenny said when you fall asleep. your digestion slows down. Like I don't know which one that is. And you know, Jenny, there are, does this happen to you? I'll get a note from somebody. And they're like, Oh, my God, what you said worked. And I'm like, Who are you? And

Jennifer Smith, CDE 53:11
what was it that I said that works? Let me apply

Scott Benner 53:15
it exactly. Like tell me that. And then I have to like I dig backwards. And I'm like, Oh, this is a person, they have a kid and I read it. And then I realized that we had enough meaningful back and forth. I get that she thinks I know who she is. Except I've had them back and forth like that with 100 more people since then. And I don't know who you are anymore. Like, I it's the worst thing to like somebody go I'm so sorry to ask this. Who are you?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 53:37
What was your name again?

Scott Benner 53:38
Don't don't I don't have time to go look, and but that's good. Like, that's good. Because the more people who learn how to handle themselves, well, the more they'll tell somebody else which will lead to other people having healthy results. And I'm telling you, like it's a it's a long shot for me. But I want for this podcast to fundamentally change how doctors talk to people with type one diabetes. Like I want to my whatever my last day is like I want I want one of my last thoughts to be no one's gonna cry in the shower. And I helped, you know, right, right. That's what I'm shooting for. Well, I

Jennifer Smith, CDE 54:16
think what helps to is kind of what you were elaborating on with discussion, just mentioning those two other women, where you might have spent like a minute talking to them in the whole discussion about their diabetes. But that's a that is a piece that's missing in, in diabetes. Education, it's not really the right word for it, because what you're bringing in is a piece of real life. The fact that you could be this person, you could do this, you could do that. And our whole conversation for 45 minutes, was not about a BD. It was about what an awesome cello player you are in. Where you've been and what you've seen and what you've been able to do. Yes, you have diabetes, but you still live. And those are grabbing points for a lot of people, I think, and a big reason. Many people would continue and do continue to listen. I mean, that's a grabbing point for me, in terms of listening. I mean, I don't really go to the episodes that are about education. Other ones are, they're awesome. And I listened to, because they're their people. And one of my favorite things that I ever did in my life with diabetes, is I attended a diabetes training camp for adults with type one who wanted to be better athletes. And while the whole week was all about diabetes management, the in between with all of the other people I was at camp with was life. And that's kind of what your podcasts spring, it's, it's life. And it's also Oh, I want to learn a little bit more of this. Let me click on this one, versus I just want to learn about the cello player.

Scott Benner 56:06
I think it's incredibly important. And I didn't realize so I'm a boy. So when something happens when something happens in front of me, I just think like, we'll blow it up kill it. Or don't worry, it's not a problem. Like you don't mean like I I genuinely, I genuinely don't think women understand how men think any more than men understand how women think, right? But there's nothing you could say to me that I don't think I could do. Like, I'm sitting here right now. I'm almost 50 years old, I'm completely out of shape. And if you brought a 25 year old guy in here and said, Can you kick his ass? I'd be like, god damn right. I can. And by the way, I can't. Okay, like, but but but it makes, I don't ever have that thought. And so when Arden got diabetes, I was just like, well, I'll just do it. Like, I'll figure it out. And I'll do it. So to hear that somebody might not think that they could be an athlete, because they have type one that doesn't like, that doesn't resonate with me at all, I would never think of that. Even when people are saying, like, I'll get notes. Sometimes they're like, you know, how do I keep my kids? Excuse me blood sugar from falling during, like an activity? And I was like, well, you get your settings. So right, that there's no active insulin while you're running around, and it won't fall. But that's not really an answer to that question, is it? You know, so? And the answer to that question is so much bigger, and why it works in audio, and doesn't work as well in writing. And also doesn't work as well in audio, if you're not good at talking about it. Right? Right. It's just, there's, there's a lot there that has to coalesce to make it. I can tell you don't have active insulin while you're being active. And that but people don't, it's just diabetes moves too quickly. Right, just one meal rolls into the next meal rolls into the next day. It's like, it's almost like, they don't recognize that three times a day, they're doing something that's going to screw up six hours from now. Right? That's the biggest caught get caught in this wheel of of doing something, getting fooled into thinking it's okay for a couple of hours, and then having it go wrong. And the insulin that they worked with happened so far in the past, they don't recognize that's what's going on. So they never see the real problem. They're always just they're swinging at ghosts all the time. Right.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 58:20
I think that's a lot of the reason, though, that our conversations together that are about specific, like diabetes, like topics, right? are more, they're conversational in nature. And that helps people to think further than, like you said, a written kind of paragraph about something is just that there's nobody to converse about with it. It is you read it. And you kind of try to apply it. It's sort of like going to a doctor who takes the clinical cotton dry. Well, you should adjust it this way. Because this is what's happening. Yeah. But there's no like back and forth, which is kind of what we have, which is fun.

Scott Benner 59:03
Well, I recorded with Kenny the other day to add another loop episode. And I

Jennifer Smith, CDE 59:07
haven't listened to it yet. He gives I came into my email, and I was all excited.

Scott Benner 59:11
It gives this great explanation about putting in a Bolus, but changing the time to the future. And then when it adds, but then when the loop says okay, we're gonna put in three units now saying no. And so that right, and so it gives us great explanation. But in my mind, I'm like, I don't know if that's clear to people listening. And so I said, So you're telling me that basically, what I'm doing is giving Luke some pocket money, some walking around money that he can spend wherever it wants? And he goes, yes, and then Okay, great. And we kept moving. Five, five notes I've received so far in the last two days. That changed my whole understanding of something. And I didn't know I was gonna say that. I just, it's just how it occurred to me in the moment, you know, so if the weird way that my brain works Somehow was helping people. That's cool. But I can't even take that much credit for it like it just like, basically what happened was I understood what he said, but I could not re articulate it in a technical way. If you asked me to say what he just said, in my own words, I would have been lost this, you know,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 1:00:18
that it like a guy walking down the street who has no knowledge about you're like, this is like this instead. Yeah, it's not just the medical term. So

Scott Benner 1:00:27
what you're saying is this, and that's my whole approach to diabetes. I'm, at this point, I'm sure you feel the same way. But anyone could walk into this room right now. And I could, I could set them right in a couple of hours. It wouldn't be that hard. But

Jennifer Smith, CDE 1:00:45
and give them tools to move forward with as well,

Scott Benner 1:00:48
that would take another day. Yeah,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 1:00:50
a bit. But the right now you could say, this is definitely a big part of the problem. Let's do this. And then we'll work on the rest as we see that this

Scott Benner 1:01:00
work. And so we're gonna keep doing that, we're gonna, you're gonna keep coming back. Jenny's gonna record all through 2021 and 2022, we're going to talk about all kinds of stuff, I would imagine there's going to be more conversations about algorithm pumping, because that is kind of the future. And I want to get people into that way, it'll

Jennifer Smith, CDE 1:01:19
be interesting to have a conversation when some knee pads, yeah, system comes,

Scott Benner 1:01:26
it will be. And so that'll be good. And then we're gonna get people in to talk about, we're going to talk about control IQ, we're going to talk about on the pod five, I'll talk about that Medtronic one when it comes out if we need to. And I'm just kidding, I would be happy to do that. But the podcast is gonna keep moving forward, I have no plans on slowing down. And I want to thank everybody listening 2020 downloads, and I know some people are like, I stream it does that count however you listen counts. But from 2017 to 2020. We have doubled our monthly downloads every year. So 2018 was doubled, over 1719 was doubled, over 1820 was doubled over 19. And if 2021 doubles over this, it's gonna be easier for me to get other guests because it's gonna stick us into a stratosphere where people are actually gonna be like, Yes, I'll come on, because they know that we'll do something for them. So we're kind of making the podcast into a commodity, which then will allow us to, to do a little better. Right now, I still have to fight to get some people on the show a little bit, you know. So it's interesting how the how much the downloads mean, behind the scenes.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 1:02:37
So maybe you'll have to ask only once versus three times.

Scott Benner 1:02:40
Yeah, we'll have to, I'm gonna have to work so hard to get them. So Jenny, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And I want to cut this off now because I want to tell you something privately that these people can't hear. Sorry, guys. That's it for 2020 131 episodes, one pandemic, and a lot of a one sees going down and getting stable. Thanks so much for listening to the Juicebox Podcast. I'll be back in just a few days with the beginning of season seven. I have a great story about someone who is diagnosed with Type One Diabetes as an adult, just as they were finding out they were pregnant. One of my favorite stories in the last couple of years. And I finally got to record with the person that it happened to. I'd like to wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year. I'd like to give you a lot of credit for making it through that last year. And I think we can all agree that if 2021 can just be a little less than a disaster. That would be amazing.

#422 After Dark: Amy

ADULT TOPIC WARNING

Amy has a crazy story and type 1 diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

**DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to Episode 422 of the Juicebox Podcast. This episode is a little different in that I did something I don't normally do. I reached out to a virtual stranger and asked them to be on the show just based on something I saw in their social media posts. And I have to say that this episode did not in any way, go the way I thought it would. And that led to this being the happiest surprise of 2021 for me.

Unknown Speaker 0:36
Wait, do you meet Amy.

Scott Benner 0:47
I thought I was having Amy on the show to talk about her weight loss. And then I realized I didn't know the first thing about Amy. But by the time this was over, I knew about 40 things about Amy. And most of them led this to being another episode in the after dark series. Amy's story is so eclectic, that I didn't even know what to call this episode, which is why it ended up being called after dark. Amy please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. There are going to be a lot of sensitive topics in this episode. So if you find yourself easily triggered by things like suicidal ideology, miscarriages, anxiety, I don't actually have a full list but Amy's got a couple of things going on. But I'll tell you one thing about me that I'm 100% sure won't trigger you. She's 100 million 1000 100,000 million percent, like really delightful. And she did this episode outside. So the Snow White fans here are going to be thrilled because there's a lot of birds in the background. And it's not something I normally would have went with but Amy caught me by surprise. And I just kind of fell in love with talking to her and I stopped caring about the birds. I hope you find them delightful, at least as delightful as I found Amy g vo Kibo pen has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar and adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is Jeeva hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about. All you have to do is go to G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox g vo shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit je Vogue glucagon.com slash risk. Many of you may have been watching my blood sugar's live online last week at Juicebox podcast.com forward slash CGM Live, it's not live anymore. Actually somebody else's blood sugars up there now person with insulin resistance. Later there'll be other people sharing their blood sugars and bolusing methods and we're gonna start getting into some type ones in the new year. Anyway, I bring this up because I tested my blood sugar a lot over the last 10 days checking it against the Dexcom g six that I was wearing. And it was terrific. But I gained an even deeper love for the Contour Next One blood glucose meter during that time. Because thus far I've been telling you about my experiences using the meter for my daughter as a caregiver, talking about the bright light, easy to read, easy to hold easy to transport the great Second Chance test strips. Well, now I got to use it for myself. And I have to say it performed exactly the way I was hoping it would stuck in my pocket. It was easy to find in the dark. The light shone bright in the pale moonlight, and I was able to test my blood sugar with no trouble at all points if you sang deep in the heart of Texas after that. This meter is an industry leader in accuracy. And I hope that you check it out to Contour. Next one.com forward slash juicebox. There's links in the show notes where you can just type in the URL. I really hope you give it a try. Too often, people get stuck with the meter that their doctor gives them. And that meter could just be you know, the one the salesman left in the drawer or one that the doctors just gotten accustomed to prescribing to people. Maybe your doctor hasn't looked into meter accuracy in a long time either. But there's no reason that you can Contour Next one.com for slash juicebox check them out, check out all the sponsors the end of the year, get festive, go in the shownotes and click around a little bit support the show. Alright guys, I put the ads up front so that you can just sit back and relax and soak in Amy.

I'm recording now, just so you know, let me just check that I have your voice correctly. Say anything. Hi, good. Okay, we are recording, I'm gonna ask you to introduce yourself any way you want to be known. And then we're gonna start talking, but just so you know, I can hear the birds behind you. So you're just gonna really be Snow White. Just say. Sounds like you have this little blue bird flying behind. It's very nice, actually, finally relaxing.

Amy 5:56
So I'm Amy. Um, I'm just here today. So I'm a type one diabetic. So yeah.

Scott Benner 6:04
Amy, you got on the show. Unlike the way most people do. I don't usually reach out to people. But I want to, I want to tell people what happened. So I sent you a message. You follow me on Instagram? And I said, Yeah, so I just kind of assumed you listen to the podcast. And so I sent a message to him like, Hey, I don't know if you listen to podcasts. But I'd like to have you on. And you responded back with like, No, you were so like, it was funny. Do you listen to the podcast? You said no. And I was like, Oh, this is the feeder. Okay, nevermind, I'm gonna go to martial law here and see if I can see if I can get through. But the reason I reached out to you, and what I want to learn about today, among other things, is that, you know, it's weird when 1000s and 1000s of people, like, follow you on Instagram, and then you follow them back. And I used to do that and really enjoyed it. But then Instagram kept me and I can't, I can't seem to follow more people which I I hate because I like seeing what everyone's doing. But I don't know everybody when it's that many people, but you would go by in my feed and confuse me because you're in your photos. I hope you take this Well, I hope you're with me take this away intended. It appeared to me like there were two separate people in your photographs.

Unknown Speaker 7:23
I get that a lot.

Scott Benner 7:27
And it was confusing as you're kind of whipping by and trying to keep up with all these people and, and I just was like, This is strange. So one day, and I hope you take this the right way. You have a really pretty face. So I stopped longer. I was like hold on what's happening here? And I started picking through. You've lost an insane amount of weight, haven't you? Yes, I have.

Amy 7:51
I've lost like over 156 pounds.

Scott Benner 7:54
Jesus, that's a person. Okay, this is what I want to know about. Alright, let's start slow. How old were you when you were diagnosed?

Amy 8:02
I was actually 23.

Scott Benner 8:04
Okay, so And how old are you? Now? You can't be that much older than that.

Unknown Speaker 8:07
No? Okay.

Scott Benner 8:09
So five years ago diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. Can we do you mind giving context? Like, when you were 23 How much did you weigh?

Amy 8:19
30 565 pounds around there. That was like the last time I weighed myself. Okay. I just graduated college. So I was at my biggest

Scott Benner 8:28
where you did college add to it? Great. Kind of continued.

Amy 8:34
No, I just actually kind of always been a big girl around that point. And then, um, pretty much it kind of continued a little bit, but I think like, around that time. Yeah, I just was that much and I was trying to lose weight and I was down on myself.

Scott Benner 8:51
How tall are you? 511 11 Okay. All right. Big people in your family. Or no?

Amy 9:00
No, it's actually kind of weird because my dad he used to be a big guy before he married my mom and then he actually lost a week after he was like 30 and then my mom's kind of like, just over wait a little bit. But my sister on she's a she's a bigger girl. But um, she can be like a plus size model like so it was like kind of that so while everybody else my family is pretty much kind of like it and everything like my cousins and my uncles and aunts and stuff like that.

Scott Benner 9:34
So So now that you've now that you've lost weight, can you tell me like what led to it? Is it was it just the eating habits or nutrition?

Amy 9:44
So a little bit was eating habits will probably go back to like when we kind of first got diagnosed because I was at my biggest actually was misdiagnosed as a type two diabetic. And then I had all these doctors telling me Hey, you need to lose 14% your body weight You won't need insolent you'll be good. I was 14%, like to the point where I was crying because I didn't want to be a diabetic. I thought it was my fault I was I was so big. And I got to the point where I did lose that 14%, I got down to 300 pounds, and I suppose my insulin actually increased. So from there, the doctors are still yelling at me. And I was still a type two diabetic, I'm actually ended up getting an eating disorder. I'm trying to lose weight, which I didn't even know anything of. But I figured out, hey, if I just keep not taking my insulin, and my medications that I'm not supposed to, because I also was on that form, and I was losing weight, like crazy. Um, and then I actually got down to about 290. And actually, when DK and actually went out to a facility for my eating disorder treatment, because I was to the point where I was killing myself every day.

Scott Benner 11:02
Did you find that the need to lose weight over? Like it? It didn't, it made everything else not important. Were you just like solely focused on that. And if not taking this medication was doing it, then that's what you are going to do?

Amy 11:16
Yeah, pretty, pretty much like, to me it was a doctor's yelling inside my head, like, you need to lose weight. So you won't be on insulin, you need to lose weight. So you get off this. So like, I was like trying to be so persistent. I'm not being a diabetic. So I was like, okay, we're gonna get this weight loss off. And if I can do it this way, then I do this way. But when I reached out, yeah, so when I reached out to Minnesota, and then I went to their eating disorder, eating disorder treatment center. And they actually retested me and and I, I turned out to be a type one diabetic.

Scott Benner 11:48
Yes. So am I right to say that in the back of your mind, you thought, it doesn't matter if I don't take this medication? If it's gonna lead to the weight loss? I'm not gonna have diabetes when it's over anyway.

Amy 11:59
Yeah, so that was that was when I was like that. I was like, yeah, cuz, you know, just eat and then take your medication, you'll be fine. Like, Oh, all right, well, let's do this. But then I after I found out it was like a type one, everything just made more sense to me. And then my eating habits has changed, my physical fitness has changed and stuff like that. So after that, I started gradually losing weight. But then at the same time, I did relapse towards my eating disorder, which was not good. But I did lose a couple more. I think I lost about 30 pounds then. And then but I was sick. I actually was in the hospital 13 times that year. So I just felt horrible. And then, so I got back on track. I found a job that I love. And I don't want to mess it up. So lately, I just been keeping track of what I've been eating and exercising and my job is very demanding. So it actually really helps out.

Scott Benner 13:04
So the jobs almost like exercise for you where it is,

Unknown Speaker 13:07
all day. Yeah. Excellent.

Scott Benner 13:09
I need a job like that sit in this chair is not good for me. I can tell you that much. I feel that some days. Like today, I'm recording twice. And there is this part of me that's like thinking like you got to get up and get moving when this is over. Like you can't just because I want to edit a show now. And if I do that, I'll roll from two recordings to editing and I'll be in here for six hours before I know it. Yeah. And then the guy's gone. And it's not good for you. So I have a lot of questions. I don't know how to like, I don't know how to order them yet. So I'm gonna feel my way through this. I'm sorry.

Unknown Speaker 13:41
You are good. Okay,

Scott Benner 13:42
great. So your Are you around 200 pounds now?

Amy 13:45
I am actually 220 right now to 20.

Scott Benner 13:48
You you I guess your height helps because your photos I give you made me guess your weight. There's no way I would have I would have gone there. Like with that. Not that there's anything I'm not saying there's anything wrong with I'm just saying you don't visually. And I wonder if that's a problem? Because I've had that before where people tell you like you carry your weight well, so you just think well, if I don't look heavier than I don't care, like I've had that feeling before too. But I guess I want to know first so that so they just don't you just stop eating to lose those first like 65 pounds and get yourself to 300 there was no

Unknown Speaker 14:22
No, no,

Scott Benner 14:24
I ate more. But didn't take the medications. So you drove your blood sugar up to lose the weight?

Amy 14:29
Yes, yes, I ate more than anything and then everybody asked me how to use your weight and I didn't say I just ate more. They don't usually understand but

Scott Benner 14:41
that's not an Instagram. How did you lose five pounds I eat more food.

Amy 14:48
I do it now still but it's because I know what to eat when to eat and like I don't starve myself.

Scott Benner 14:54
So have the things that you're eating changed.

Amy 14:59
Oh, like well, you I definitely so I remember it. So my mom's a nurse. So I remember when I texted her I used to work in a restaurant. And I texted her when, when I was like almost being diagnosed, I think she remembered me drinking a pitcher of water. And she's like he was last time you checked your blood sugar. And I said, I don't know. It was during hunting season. I was, you know, when diabetics get high, they pee all the time. I couldn't hold it during hunting season. So I went to my mom's on lunch. And she's like, She's like, um, test your blood sugar. And I tested that she had this ghost face on her. So the one thing I've noticed is actually I drink a lot more diet, and I drink a lot lot more water than anything. Even if it's like, like flavored water. Yeah. So I don't I don't drink saucers. I don't know.

Scott Benner 15:47
I have to be honest with you. I drink water and like, unsweetened tea a lot. That's pretty much Germany like some like crazy kidney stone one day, it's just gonna come flying out and kill me. I don't I don't drink a whole lot else. And so Wait, you're a hunter. I seen you on your Instagram with a boat. Do you just bow hunt?

Amy 16:04
Oh, no, I bow and rifle hunt.

Scott Benner 16:06
Okay, are you within? You know, don't tell me the town you live in. But where in the country? Do you live?

Amy 16:11
I live on the border of New York and Pennsylvania.

Scott Benner 16:14
Oh, gotcha. So that's sort of the I say so you're more like North? Well, not really like,

Amy 16:23
No, I'm like Central New York. Okay, central middle of the middle. borderline interesting.

Scott Benner 16:29
Okay. Okay. So hunting is a big deal around, like, where you live? And then something, how did you get into it.

Amy 16:36
So I feel like most of my family actually hunted. And I was actually jealous because my cousin always hunted with my uncle. And then I just ended up finding a boyfriend that hunted and then I got because I've always wanted to do it. Because nobody in my family like my mom or my dad and do it. So I actually got it that way. bow hunting was actually kind of my own thing, because I thought it was more of a challenge. So I love that. But even then I had a weight problem because you know, tree stands have a weight limit. So

Scott Benner 17:08
you couldn't get into a tree stand like you weren't allowed.

Amy 17:11
Yeah, because like the weight limit was I think there are like three things. I know. Some of them are 150 and then some of them are not no 250. And then some of them are like three 300

Scott Benner 17:25
that would really add insult to injury if you were 365 pounds, do you have a tree stand? You just probably lay on the ground and go Okay, I'm just gonna die here. I guess I could give up. You know, but but it's, it's really First of all, you know, listen, we can't overlook it to a mass 365 pounds and 23 years is in and of itself some sort of an accomplishment to be perfectly honest. I guess not. I don't think that was easy to do. Were you just eating? constantly everything? Was it calories? Like how did how did that manifest for you?

Amy 17:57
I think it because when I was a kid, I actually was very active. I did. I played sports all the time, all four seasons. And then I think I actually, like when I went to treatment, I really, like suppressed so much. And I found out that one of them was that after my parents divorced, I stopped doing sports. And all I did was eat I go to my dad's on the weekend eat junk food. My mom just easiest meal for a single mom is like spaghetti. That's all I I hate red sauce to this day.

Scott Benner 18:31
You just think that the like the dissolving of your parents marriage just threw you into a depression or

Amy 18:38
I think a little bit depression because I did go to therapy. But I thought also because I actually because when you're at like 10 years old, you can't control your diet. So your parents are the ones who feed you. So I actually kind of reflect on that because I remember the first stretch mark I ever got. I was like awesome video, I was freaking out but I was like, Okay, um, because I was like, was that changing period for every human. So I, I remember I ate like, cans of frosting and stuff like that. And and, and, like, it was just what was like, a drink so much soda, and stuff like that. And I think it just accumulated slowly and slowly, slowly and slowly. So it just, it really does reflect like today I eat more protein than anything actually do not like bread that much. I really don't only if it's like garlic bread and Alfredo because that is my carb carb choice. It's amazing. We got some good pretty good Italian restaurants around here. So um, so yeah, so that I pretty much like looking back. That's how I looked at it because I still was active. I always was active I played I still play basketball. I played football cheerleading golf track in high school. So I did all that I write rode my bike around like from LA Thomson, I still couldn't lose weight, like it was just still there. But I think as much as I was pushing out for calories, that was pretty much taking a double.

Scott Benner 20:09
Right? You could be as active as you wanted to be, there would be no way to get rid of all the calories that you would take in in that sense. Yeah, I mean, honestly, weight loss is its calories, right? Like, it's not much more than that. It's calories activity hydration. I don't think there's a big secret to how how people gain and lose weight, you know, aside from people who have actual medical conditions where those factors end up not impacting them the way they should, but for most of us, it's just that do you do any, like intermittent fasting now? Or do you have any, like other ways that you try to maintain or go are you trying to get lasser Are you trying to lose weight,

Amy 20:50
actually, I'm still trying to lose weight. I actually did get down to 200 I was super comfortable then. I tell you one thing when you go from like 300 pounds down to a 200 level, buying clothes is so much more enjoyable. It's I have I have to make clothes now have like two closets full of it's so much more enjoyable because you can actually like fitness things and and actually enjoy it. So because I I did gain a little bit of weight. I am trying to lose it but I'm doing it the healthy way. During work my work schedule is crazy. So I work from like 1239 all day going in and our customers house climbing poles and stuff like that. So sometimes I don't even get a lunch sometimes. So pretty much usually I fast. I usually do for the first couple hours of the day. And then usually I come home and I eat when I come at night. Usually it's not by choice on weekends. I I really just go not full blown by usually eat regular like church and Sunday. I usually we go I get breakfast I go get lunch, I get dinner with a family and stuff like that. So it's

Scott Benner 22:01
like Sunday's your big day. And then it's Sundays.

Amy 22:03
Yeah, Sunday's my big day. Gotcha. I love my Sunday.

Scott Benner 22:09
Alfredo sauce and garlic knots and things. I don't see how we're gonna say no to that. How do you manage your type one now? Are you pumping? You have a glucose monitor? Do you have anything like that?

Amy 22:19
Yes, I am actually the G sex and I'm on the T slim. Um, so that is how I'm keeping track of everything. I yeah, I was on some other things. I was on the Omnipod. But it kept I kept with my work my job I kept pulling my pump off, which was annoying because it started screaming and stuff.

Scott Benner 22:39
So yeah, you couldn't find a place for it that that worked for you that wasn't in the way while you were working.

Amy 22:44
Yeah, because sometimes I'd crawl up in attics, and then they crawl under houses and in crawl spaces and stuff like that. So I'm like every single angle possible. And then even when it was like around my belly and around, like anywhere, especially on my belly, I had like my tool belt and my climbing belt. So sometimes they would yank and pull off. So So I ended up going to Tucson because I can, I don't know, I feel a little bit more freedom. I know a lot of people say they feel freedom with the Omnipod, which I kind of did when I was at my previous job. But at this job I feel more freedom with a pump.

Scott Benner 23:19
You're able to like hide it differently because the set and

Amy 23:23
yeah, it really depends how how long my tubing is. So like sometimes it's just in my pockets. And then I get customers that asked me like what it is. And then I had like a lady yesterday say, Oh, is that the G six? You're like, Oh, I thought you only put that in your stomach. And I said, Well, I said you're only supposed to but there's pages out there that like some people do other places and had good readings and they said this is one of my best readings because it's on my forum. And so I love it and they even have like a tattoo. Um, that is actually a molecule for influence. So that on your

Scott Benner 24:00
waist. This is gonna get creepy. I know too much about you

Unknown Speaker 24:05
know my left arm.

Scott Benner 24:06
Oh, yeah, the thing gets flipped in the we're all backwards on Instagram. I hope everyone everybody, everybody's been bid mirrored. I was watching. I don't know if you know the comedian, Deon Cole. But he's been during the the Coronavirus thing. He's been DJing on his Instagram Live and it pops up in front of me sometimes, but it always freaks me out because he's got something on the back. Behind him. It's a science. It's like the ankle calm or something like that. But it's backwards and it always catches my eye and I'm like, Oh, that's right. We're all flipped around backwards and but but yeah, I saw you so it's a it's a big tattoo the molecule like you have the whole molecule out like on the top of your forearm, right?

Amy 24:48
Yeah, well, it's not the whole night here. If you look up the whole night here, that's pretty long, but it's pretty much the basic one. Okay, yeah,

Scott Benner 24:54
that's very cool. I saw you mentioned. So there's a couple of things that I've been paying closer attention to you now because I knew I was going to talk to you than I normally would. So just don't feel too creeped out.

Unknown Speaker 25:04
But you already do. It's fine.

Scott Benner 25:08
It's your fault. You've lost all the weight. No, it's not me, I didn't do it. Sometimes you talk about anxiety. But moreover, I see you talking about being uncomfortable with the loose skin that you have now. And first of all, in my opinion, is meaningless to you, you're really a beautiful person. So I know you shouldn't. Like, it doesn't matter what other people think, etc. But, you know, I'm trying to find out what that's like, like, you've lost so much weight? How much skin? Do you have that you need to do something with? and What? What's the play? They're like, what do you do?

Amy 25:44
Okay, so actually talk to my doctor about the surgery I'm getting, it's protecting me or something like that, which is the bottom half, which is like, like past your pelvic bone, depth below your belly button. And he said, we're gonna have to wait on a little bit, because I do have a lot of anxiety and stuff. So he wants to get that all controlled first, before we do that. But other than that, he really doesn't want to do anything about it.

Scott Benner 26:11
Does he think it's gonna shrink up on its own?

Amy 26:17
I should not worry about it, and just try to deal with it. Okay, um, he said that I would have to go see a plastic surgeon myself. So, so I'm trying to look into that and see how much that's gonna cost because I kind of really want it done. It's not It's not because it's like a, it's a little bit it is an image issue. Um, because I, like I know people like I, I used to wear a bikini, I was like, body positivity around like 290. And I wore a bikini at a theme park. And I was like, you know, I don't care. It's like, the 2000s we can do anything we want these days. But I still get those looks those concerning looks like if I go to a hotel room or something like that has like a pool or a private setting. And people just look at me. And I think people and then I had some comments like, you shouldn't be worrying socially around, like, certain kind of people. And I'm like, Okay. Like, some people like they're all around, like your co workers or your stuff like that. And I'm like, oh, okay, like, I'm like one, like, I don't think they really care. I don't think I know, some people probably think or why she nap, stuff like that. And it kind of a little bit of it. I don't like it, it just hangs and it just it does bother me. But at the same time, there's a little bit of body positivity in me. But at the same time, it's like, I really just want this gone. And then plus, I think some, like a lot of it. I mean, my doctor told me that is probably like, about 15 pounds of loose skin 15 to 20 pounds on the skin. So then I'd be like, so we're just Yes.

Scott Benner 28:02
Is it shrinking at all or no.

Amy 28:05
On some places it has like, like, I think because I was big for so long. It's not going anywhere. It's not like I got big and then went back down. It's like because I like was big for very, for most apartment. Well, not in most part of my life. But like my teenage years and stuff like that when your body is pretty much in their growth rate. Yeah, so. So pretty much like my legs. My arms aren't too bad. It's actually around like my back and then like pretty much like a domino in my lower abdominal and like, my upper back is everything I want to get done.

Scott Benner 28:40
What's up? It's a astonishing I guess people are you cool if people check you out on Instagram, or do you want to mention your handle? Or? No, it's okay. If you don't?

Unknown Speaker 28:49
Yeah, definitely.

Scott Benner 28:51
So what is it? How do they find you? It's

Amy 28:54
so my Instagram. I know you're

Scott Benner 28:58
breaking up. Don't say, john, you broke up. Don't say that. There you go. You're back.

Amy 29:07
Alright, so my Instagram. I know what I'm looking at. Yeah, Rob. I look. Good. Dragon Warrior. rugged, warrior,

Scott Benner 29:16
rugged period warrior. And yeah, it's mean, what you did is I know it didn't start out the right way. But the I guess the focus on not wanting to do you think that was the case? Do you think if you would have found out you had Type One Diabetes immediately. Do you think you'd still be bigger?

Amy 29:35
No, I don't actually I really don't because like, I'm actually a couple months ago. I went to a doctor and they're like, we're gonna retest you. Because I had severe lows. I was in the hospital for a week because I couldn't stay above 40 I ate I literally two days I was eating everything I could to the point that I was like, Alright, I need I just need food, food, food food. And I got to the point where I was like, I can't Do this no more, we have to live in emergency room. And I remember I was getting the sugar shots, glucose fixed shot, so you know what they called? I got seven of those within four hours. So one my veins, her and then they're like we're gonna retest you because we don't think you're a Type, Type a type one. And then I guess they did the one test again. And then they did like an insulin in your body test and I guess it came back in, like I don't even know I think low or something like that. So, um, so then they were like, okay, so we don't know what's going on here. But we think they're a type two, and I literally cried. Because I was like, This is my fault. I am big because of like, all this weight in my head. I'm like, I lost all this weight and I'm still on insulin. This is just a weird week. I said, I'm still on insulin. I still have like today. I mean, I still have to count my carbs. I still have a G six. Like, my, my endocrinologist knows I was at a different hospital. So they tested me and then it was just weird. And I literally broke down in tears because I thought it was my fault again, because everybody,

Scott Benner 31:05
maybe you were just gambling. Maybe you just had maybe you using maybe your pancreas just kicked back in for a little bit. During that happens.

Amy 31:13
I have no idea. I have no idea what happened. It was last year and I have no idea what happened. Like I was like

Unknown Speaker 31:21
I was like,

Scott Benner 31:24
dammit, leave me alone. You mentioned anxiety a second ago? Is that been a lifelong thing? Or is that since your parents divorce?

Amy 31:33
Uh, no, actually, it's kind of been recent. Um, I had it actually kind of got worse since I've been diagnosed, um, to the point where I'm actually on medication for it. Um, yeah, so actually, since I got diagnosed, I have been taking, um, anxiety and doing like DBT skills and stuff like that I've learned in the past couple of years. So and I and I am a true believer that managing your blood sugar does affect your hormones in every single way. Like even if you're angry, sad or anything like that. I truly do believe because when my sugar was high all the time, I was having panic attacks left and right. And I was crying all the time. And I was like, angry and I was sick and everything like that. So does the

Scott Benner 32:25
anxiety stick with you? No matter what your blood sugar is?

Amy 32:29
Um, so if a tie I am freaking out every two seconds like it's not because I just my boyfriend can tell you that that's the case. I'm He's my emotions are all out of whack. But when I'm usually stable between where I should be I'm usually having my life is awesome. It's kind of like having rose colored glasses like if your sugars out of whack everything's just like seems all colors go. And then when it's like right in perfect range. Everything's just perfect. And you think your life is great.

Scott Benner 33:03
You're really interesting. I do know that like your your there's a very thick you keep saying things that make me feel like they would come from a different person, but they're all within you, which I think is great. Like I didn't meet the gloss over earlier. But you're climbing through basements and attics and up polls. Are you installing some sort of utility?

Amy 33:21
Yeah, so I'm Kate. Yeah, I'm a cable technician.

Scott Benner 33:25
Okay. All right. So that at least makes sense. I'm like, Why is she in people's basements? People. Hi, it's me. You may be from Instagram. I've lost a lot of weight and I'm in your basement now. Just I figured that was what was going on. Is it scary to climb a pole with without a CGM? Like is it like it's an interesting paradox that you're an anxious person but at the top of a telephone pole. Does that make you anxious?

Unknown Speaker 33:55
so much? Well, yeah.

Amy 34:00
I love heights. I know top a telephone pole. And usually like, even when I didn't have my CGM I was totally fine. Um, I cuz I didn't really give a crap at that time.

Scott Benner 34:14
Probably really high. Not. Wasn't low ever, I would imagine.

Amy 34:17
Yeah, it wasn't low. Yeah, it wasn't lonely time was when I had that week and I was out of work for a little bit because they didn't want me climbing poles or driving. But other than that, no, I love heights. I really do. I actually love skydiving, actually that as soon as I got to the weight, I went down and I jumped in. Everybody's on you scared? I said no, I've been waiting for this since I was 18. And I was the happiest person I did not hesitate one bit. I can't I'm so glad that this Corona thing starting to lift because they have opened up and I'm going to go again. And I actually I was mad because they actually canceled the halo jump which is like where you it's like 23,000 feet and you drunk with an oxygen tank up in

Unknown Speaker 35:01
Yeah,

Amy 35:06
they got cancelled because of the whole Corona thing. So, but I am so excited to go jump again. I love heights. Yeah, it's one of my favorite things.

Scott Benner 35:17
That's, that's astonishing. But I want to dig into it a little bit for a second. So your anxiety is more? Is it more personal? is it and how did you manage it before the medication?

Amy 35:31
So I didn't manage it. I was actually self mutilating. It wasn't because I wanted to die. It was more of a it stopped everything rushing in my head. You were cutting? I was cutting. Okay. All right.

Scott Benner 35:47
I have more context on that. I don't know if you heard I know you don't listen to the podcast, maybe that's fine. Don't worry about it. But there was a we had a self harm episode recently with a person who also cut like so now that you're talking like, it makes more sense to me than it would have the first time like eat your story. If I heard it the first time I would have been like, No, wait, what but now I I know how it goes. For some people. So I'm, I'm a little more, a little more educated, educated around it now. So. So anxiety starts in your teens, right?

Amy 36:20
I yeah, I didn't really have much like, I mean, life was okay. I would say okay, high school wasn't bad, I lived it. I lived in a small town, small school school. So everybody knows everybody, you're friends with the popular kids all the way down to the non popular kids. And that was kind of popular because I played football. And everybody kind of looked up to me. And so that was kind of cool. But other than that, just my living situation wasn't the best. So that was a little bit part of my anxiety. But I'm like one of those people say, that's a very independent person. Um, I try to do things by myself. And I kind of don't reach out for help if I don't need it. I'm learning a different way. But yeah, so like I said, my anxiety didn't start until I became like, type one. And those doctors were just telling me, you have to lose weight, you have to lose weight. I'm not till this day. I still have like, if I start gaining weight, I still have those doctors in my head and I have to tell myself, this isn't my fault. It is an autoimmune disease. I know you can gain like 1020 pounds here and there. You know, maybe it was like a big barbecue weekend. So I like tons of cake and ice cream and meat and regular soda. And then so I literally have to like don't tell myself all this stuff and like, just be like, you know, just give it another week you'll be okay.

Scott Benner 37:50
Well, that's just because it's gonna stick in my head if I don't ask organized football like for high school, or when you play school football? Yes,

Unknown Speaker 38:00
I did.

Scott Benner 38:01
With position.

Amy 38:03
Tackle garden tighten.

Scott Benner 38:05
No kidding. Nice all fans can catch a ball. And guys, you guys were okay. Like, hitting you. They did you ever like did people ever not?

Amy 38:16
There was like, No, I actually, I don't know, I once you put that helmet on. I don't think they knew who they were up against. But I know a couple guys on my team didn't want me there. And they laid me out during practice. Sometimes I remember the coach yelling at them. But no other than that, like, I I had a blast. I know they say like, being on high school, something that they usually tell boys is something that you're gonna it's like the best time in your life.

And it is. I mean, it was it was amazing. So I'm glad I got it was one of the lifetime things that I do not regret cool.

Scott Benner 39:02
No, I wouldn't think you would regret it. It's just that I keep wondering how much longer I would have to talk to you before you'd say something else that I didn't expect. So because for clarity so far, think about it. You're 28 years old in those 28 years. It sounds like you survived a divorce that wasn't particularly fun for the child. You gained. Your your weight was 365 pounds. You've lost like 160 pounds of it. You found that you had type two diabetes, you didn't have type two diabetes, type one diabetes, you climb polls for a living you like to jump out of airplanes, and you played football in high school. Like, what else don't we know about you?

Amy 39:41
know, everybody says I should be writing a book.

Scott Benner 39:48
What did she just say? And you know, it's I'm trying to figure out you know, oh my god, and you live by the way your your internet connection, flies in and out every once in a while with Don't worry about like, I'm living through it because I'm just like, I'm not telling her that I can't hear you because your voice slows down like, but you live in the like you're in the woods, right? Are you not?

Unknown Speaker 40:10
Yeah. Yeah,

Scott Benner 40:12
yeah, you should get a cable company to bring in a better signal for you.

Amy 40:15
Was it I came in get I get free internet and I can't even get cable to my house. I have to have satellite.

Scott Benner 40:26
If only you knew somebody, alright. boyfriend, you mentioned a boyfriend. How long have you been with this guy that you're with them?

Amy 40:33
This is this is a complicated part of the whole thing. So I actually live with my boyfriend and I live with it. So hold on,

Scott Benner 40:42
hold on. Your voice broke up and we're not losing this. Hold on. Let's get a hold on a second. We're not we're not listening this. Okay. Let's take a breath. You have. Okay. All right. You're still breaking up. I'm trying now. So fast.

Amy 41:00
Wait, hold on. Let me let me walk. Now, am I good?

Scott Benner 41:07
Yeah, stay on the microphone. All right. Okay. You're with your with your boyfriend who you've sounds like you've had for a while.

Amy 41:14
Actually, our one year anniversary is gonna be 20.

Scott Benner 41:18
Okay, so you've been with this guy for a year, but you live with an ex fiance?

Unknown Speaker 41:22
Yep. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 41:24
hold on.

Scott Benner 41:26
Just wait. Does the boyfriend live with you too? Yep. Okay, so you, your boyfriend, your ex fiance live together? Let's keep talking. This might turn into an after dark episode. It's fine. If it does. Are we? Are we like a throttle? No, okay. No. So there's no fun stuff between all three.

Amy 41:46
No. So my pretty much my expense. I just kind of grew out of our sexual interest with each other.

Scott Benner 41:57
By the way, every married person is laughing going. Yeah, me too. But go ahead.

Amy 42:04
So Well, no, he's like my best friend. He has been. We've been pretty much I would say we were dating for about 766 years. And we did get engaged, but we never got married. And it was just it just never happened. I mean, we never were in a financial state to get married. We were always too busy. and stuff like that. And then but he's my best friend to this day. If anything, if I'm having anxiety. That sounds so bad because I have a boyfriend. I'm having anxiety. or something's going wrong. Or, like, we still have our dog something wrong with our dogs. I forgot something, I'll call him. He is literally my best friend. He actually is training my boyfriend how to take care of me. And it's the greatest thing because my boyfriend will call him and be like, what does he like on your pizza? or walk with me like this? Like, like everything or like Amy's like panicking. I don't know what to do. Um, can you come over like, Oh, it's like, this is like before we live together and he's like, can you come over? and stuff like that? So but they get along great. They hang out. So there's nothing they never fought or anything. And it's been a year. So yeah, plenty.

Scott Benner 43:20
Were you with him at all. Wait, the fiance like were you 365 with him? And 200?

Amy 43:26
Yes. So so he's been like with me, like since I got diagnosed, and then he has, he knows my eating disorder. He knows when I'm like, like, my ketones are higher. I'm not feeling good. And he knows when I'm low and like you I don't even have to tell him and he's like, Are you feeling okay? And then he'll just go grab my, oh, he won't look at the CGM. Well, sometimes you will, but he'll go grab my poker also, because you know, sometimes that can be off a little bit, and hold testing and stuff like that. My boyfriend doesn't do that. He's getting there. But don't worry.

Scott Benner 44:00
Your fiance will get your boyfriend trained and then you'll be fine. There's a sentence I never thought I would speak out loud. It's fine. That's that was very first of all, that's incredibly progressive and and I like that you're still friendly with a person who means something to you. And I hear that so you know, that's cool. Did he prefer? I this is such a weird question. But sexually did he prefer you bigger? Or

Amy 44:26
he said he said he loved me in any single way. That's like me anytime. Yeah.

Scott Benner 44:31
Nice. I don't see why you wouldn't. I'm just wondering if like, like now I was like literally thinking like, was there? Like, did he have a fetish? And then he was like you lost weight? And he was like, Oh, no, forget it. Now if you're gonna be 200 pounds, like I'm out on this, but no, you guys were together together like in your minds and your hearts. Gotcha.

Amy 44:51
Yeah, so today like he's my family. Like I really don't really have any family out here. Even though my family's from here, but some have passed. My mom there. Arizona sister doesn't really talk to me because she's up there Bluefin but so I'm pretty much like so he like so we've been through everything like financial struggles on to like me getting diagnosed and other illnesses and stuff like that so like it's so we're tight.

Scott Benner 45:21
Listen, I'm not judging I just didn't expect again did not expect you to say that. Right? So let's, let's find something else to ask you about that you're gonna say something I can't imagine what is your a one c right now?

Amy 45:38
Oh no, I just got back it was a bad day. Actually Was it the front? Yeah, I go the first every month, the first Monday of every month. It was a 15.20 my

Scott Benner 45:53
gosh, okay, so alright, so you have now let's figure this out. Let's figure this.

Unknown Speaker 45:59
Wait, wait, can I tell you what my last agency was? Is it gonna be like four and

Unknown Speaker 46:04
I'm gonna be flipped out there. What was it? Good?

Unknown Speaker 46:06
6.2. You went

Scott Benner 46:08
from 6.2 to 15? Yeah, is that eating cake and soda at a barbecue like that?

Amy 46:15
There's a lot of birthdays.

Scott Benner 46:17
People You know, I've got it's not me.

Unknown Speaker 46:22
But that's

Unknown Speaker 46:23
birthday. So

Scott Benner 46:24
that's super interesting, because that's it. I mean, a fairly massive swing, like from like one quarter to the next. You know how to keep an agency in the sixes like when you had it in the sixes? Was it because of a lot of lows? Or was it you were doing things that were leading to like a stable six?

Amy 46:41
All right, you ready? For another surprise thing?

Scott Benner 46:43
I don't think it's gonna be a surprise at all. But go ahead, whatever you're saying.

Amy 46:46
So when I was pregnant, my sugar stayed at a constant level would mean barely taking an insulin.

Unknown Speaker 46:54
Do you have a kid? How come? I don't know?

Amy 46:56
I do not. That's why. So I actually went, I was 2323 24 weeks, and then I had her. So then after that, things didn't work out, which is okay. I'm kind of a little glad because during my pregnancy, I couldn't take any my pretty much my mental medications, which I was going insane. And I was doing self mutilation again, and I was like, I can't do this. I can't be a mom. And then I was back and forth about having a kid and I was actually really suicidal too. And then I was having pseudo seizures. Which I don't know if you know what those are. Those are the ones Yep, they're not epileptic. I can't say the word. Yeah,

Scott Benner 47:47
I can say epileptic.

Amy 47:51
Yeah. So they're not those seizures. See, the seizures is actually when your mind gets like, a bunch of chemical imbalances in that and it shuts down. So then you have a seizure. So I was having tons of those I wasn't having regular seizures. At the point in my pregnancy, so my life so I couldn't work. I couldn't do anything, even though I'm the kind of person that was kind of cool was pregnant. Some people might not like that, but I like to have a stable income.

Scott Benner 48:20
Climbing. I guess you're pregnant, by the way. So you're, so wait a minute, I and I feel like we're being we're bouncing around from serious to lighthearted, so much. I don't know what to say ever. But you, you the pregnancy ended with a live birth or no,

Amy 48:36
no, no. Okay. All right. I was I was at 24 weeks, and she had a heart condition.

Scott Benner 48:41
Gotcha. I'm sorry, first of all it but I but I hear what you're saying about the the other stuff. So when you're pregnant, you can't take all those medications that are keeping you where you need to be with your anxiety and and all that.

Amy 48:57
Yeah, even if I don't take my anxiety meds, I'm usually I'm pretty good for the day. But you know, every person says, a pregnant lady is not who they really are. Because they're sometimes a monster. I don't

Scott Benner 49:08
know who says that. Amy. I don't say that. Anybody would never hear me say that. My wife was completely normal the entire time. She had children just so you know. That's

Unknown Speaker 49:18
okay. Okay. So

Amy 49:23
so I had like, the extra extra hormones running through me. So everything was just super bad. But my sugar did stay in like the range the whole time with very low insulin. So that's why my last a Wednesday was in the sixth.

Scott Benner 49:40
So this was very recently so this pregnancy is with your boyfriend. Yes. Gotcha. Okay. I'm okay. I'm getting it. So you're making me feel old just in case you're wondering what's going on over here. Like, I just I went to high school and I got out and I was like, that girl seems nice. And then I just, you know, I made a final Yeah, let's go. But you you're having more fun than I did. But, so Okay. So pregnancy wasn't on purpose I'm imagining.

Unknown Speaker 50:11
No, it was.

Scott Benner 50:12
Are we doing stuff now to make sure it doesn't happen again?

Amy 50:16
Yes, I did. I got the ID you IUD Marina IUD.

Scott Benner 50:21
Now I hear that's helpful with blood sugar's actually, because it keeps you know it's finding that because I bought what's been told to me is that that keeps you from me keeps you from having a period is that right?

Unknown Speaker 50:35
Yes. Okay.

Scott Benner 50:36
I know. It's so because there's hormones on it. Maybe it doesn't keep you from having it here. But there's hormones in there. Those

Amy 50:41
keep like after like six months, you shouldn't have it no more, but it does like the hormone thing. I haven't know. I don't know. I learned another thing. While we're on this topic, I, when I was a big girl, I used to never get them. I probably got one a year. Okay, one a year. So I was like, I ain't getting pregnant. Well, wha wha. And so and I lost weight. And then I started getting them regularly, which that means you're more healthy. So I was like, when I started to hate him. I didn't like him. I was like, This is the dumbest crap in the world. I was like, why am I a girl? This is so dumb. I was like, I liked it. When that was like the one positive thing of being a bigger girl. Like I was like, No, no, yeah.

Scott Benner 51:33
It's the worst idea. Like the plant. It's the worst plan. Like it's somebody. Like, I mean, whoever designed it is just, they weren't thinking yeah, there's a better way.

Amy 51:42
Yeah. So I so I was having unprotected sex. So I didn't think anything of it. I really didn't. I was like, it's not gonna happen because I was so used to not getting one and then, and then like, a month went by, and I was like, Oh, that's okay. And then. I really was so yeah, it was July, when it was conceived. I went to the hospital for the August 2, Pregnancy came back. Negative. So I was like, Okay, I'm good. September came around. I went to the hospital again. No, no, it's weird. I didn't even go to hospital. I had an interview somewhere else. And I was like, I kept seeing babies everywhere. And I was like, I should go get a pregnancy test. And I did it. And I was like, oh, and then the first person I called was my ex fiance. I didn't call my boyfriend.

Unknown Speaker 52:44
I was like I

Scott Benner 52:46
said, Listen, I hope you know something about babies, because you're gonna have to teach my boyfriend about it so. Well, I mean, that's Listen, obviously, that's none of those things were intended or went away. I guess anybody would hope for them. But no, but I mean, as long as you I mean, if you take steps moving forward to stop that from happening, you know, and get yourself you know, if you want to have a kid one day, you're you're gonna have to think it through like you're gonna have to have a plan because obviously just you know, hey, here we go isn't gonna work out for you. So yeah, you have to know what you're doing when you want do you think you want kids one day? Or is that

Amy 53:24
still up in the air there's this world is crazy. If I want to raise a kid and at the same time, like even before that, like I was like, open air about it, but like, I think now since I hold her, I was like, I could do this. I can be a mom. I think the next time if I do get pregnant, and I'm like off medications and stuff like that, I will remember that moment. Like, I can do this. And it's actually quite interesting. I'm kind of glad that I kind of went through it because there's so many extra steps a type one diabetic has to do to even before you get pregnant like you're a one sees me to be Ranger sugar not even just your even sees like your sugars need to be like soup, because you can have a 401 day and then like, like, and still have a good day one See, your sugars have to be like in line all the time, even before you get pregnant, like about six months to Have a Healthy Pregnancy throughout. So I'm glad that I know that now because like I have my blood sugar's were a little bit high before that, because my agency was like 10.6. And that was they said that, that could cause heart problems. So so I kinda feel bad. That was my fault that I couldn't bring a beautiful person in this world. But at the same time now I know for next time

Scott Benner 54:40
you really did Oh, right. Like the all that stuff is a little lost. I mean, everybody doesn't get great, you know, information when they're diagnosed, then some people do and some people don't. I don't know that that's anyone's fault. Sometimes it's where you live or the kind of insurance you have. There's all kinds of reasons why, why it varies around I'm going to say something to you don't usually pitch my own show to people. But because you haven't listened, I'm going to give you a link to something. And I'm going to, I'm going to see how interested you are. But there's a grouping of episodes within this podcast. They're called, like, diabetes pro tip. And I think if you listen through them, I don't think your agency will ever be 15. Again. So and it's not about restricting food or anything like that. It's just about understanding how insulin works. And you have the right tools to do it with with a pump and, and that glucose monitor that CGM is is a quality device. So you'll be able to I love it. Yeah, it's been it's really fantastic. So I will, I will give it to you when we're done. I'll send it to you. But it's just diabetes, pro tip calm that way. You don't have to listen to the whole podcast, you can just kind of hit some of that. I think that might be helpful. The, the anxiety part though, it it's involved in everything. And I don't know that people understand that because everybody gets anxious sometimes. But the difference between anxiety that needs to be medicated and not like I now understand better from talking to someone else, that it can hit you out of nowhere and cripple you. Right? And then the pain is just it's massive. And then, you know, prior to I guess the anxiety, medication, everything you were, I didn't understand cutting until someone really explained it to me, but it's that it's a relief in a weird way. Right? And have you done that recently? Or do you not do that any longer? What's the

Amy 56:31
last time I did it was when I was pregnant? Because I was freaking out. So I mean, but before that, I think was about a year and a half ago. Um, yeah. So what I wasn't actually I was getting medicated for my ADHD and a DD. So my doctors like, you know, let's throw these out. And let's try anxiety meds. So that's what we did. And I'm so much better now. Um, the thing is, I think the big part of it is like, even though like you totally understand it, I and then you get to the point where you want to quieten everything. It sucks when you're having an anxiety attack, and then you're getting upset that you're having an anxiety attack, because you're like, this is not the place in time to be doing this right now. So then it just gets even worse. And you're like trying to calm down and you can't really do anything. Like actually, the last panic attack I had was actually a couple weeks ago in Walmart. And I don't know why I think I had a little bit that I was noticing all the shelves, were getting super low again. And it wasn't being explained. Like I don't know how everybody else's world is out here. Like there was no TVs on a shelf. There were some game systems, there was no like food, baby stuff as though everything. And this is only a couple weeks ago, we're kind of coming out of the cold stuff. So I was like, What is going on? And then I actually was walking down an aisle and I said, Oh, what should they eat? And I said she get something healthy. And then it was down like a snack aisle that had all these snacks, it said and that was in my mind saying no, no, no, no to all this food. And I was getting anxious about that. And I literally got into the frozen food aisle squat down and like starts bawling my eyes out. And and I call called my ex fiance and he's like, I don't know what's going on. I am like freaking out right now. And then the Walmart employees helped me and it was a it was it was a whole deal. Like I it was I haven't had one since I was pregnant, even though it was like recently, but it was like earlier in my pregnancy. And it just sucked because i was i was i was good. I was good. And as early as

Scott Benner 58:42
I think that it's it's visual, right? And there are things that you just expect to be there. And then when all of a sudden they're not there and then more and more things disappear. like okay, like in the beginning you think oh, people are hoarding food that makes sense. Toilet paper, like I understand that people are doing that. But when a television disappears, you're like, wait a minute, where are the PlayStations at Little League? Like Wait, wait, why is everything gone? And it feels it could I can see how it would make you feel it because I've had that thought too. I've walked this store and thought Hmm, supply is really low on a lot of things. One of the strangest things is you can't buy a flower pot anywhere. I know that's a weird thing. But you can't find a flower pot. I'm just like, I'm like the duck did COVID-19 hit the flower pot industry extra hard, you know, like, like, you know, very interesting thing, but then I don't have anxiety. So then I just noticed that I move on. But

Amy 59:32
no, so I didn't give me exactly yeah, the one thing I think that did give me anxiety so I'm in a great financial position. I'm really good. I love my job. It's really good. I have a place out in the country. And then so I was like, last four years. I was like mega pool. I'm going to get a pool to pool All right. Finally I have enough money. I just go out by pool whenever I want. I cannot and i and i don't know if any other diabetics are like this. I hate summer. It hurts. I don't know why I since I've been diagnosed, I cannot stand here. Even though I'm outside all day, I'm glad I can go into my air conditioned van when I need to. But like, it bothers my skin like I don't like it I get angry. I know some people just like get angry when they're hot. But it really is a very discomfort feeling past like 78 degrees. So I need like I need like, I was like, I'm going to the pool. So I can just come home and just go in the pool or break before work. And I can't find pool anywhere. And then if you do look for pool, they are price gouged so much like a normal pool that will cost like 350 bucks is like, like almost $1,000 I was like, Nah, not gonna do that. Never do that.

Scott Benner 1:00:43
Well, I have to ask, have you ever had your thyroid checked your thyroid levels.

Amy 1:00:50
So I saw because I seem like that dirt the first Monday of the month. So it was like a week or two ago. Actually, my thyroid wasn't large. My thyroid wasn't large throughout my pregnancy, other doctors that said, Oh, it's because of the pregnancy, after the pregnancy hasn't went down. I actually had an ultrasound on a Monday, Monday. And I have to go get a biopsy now.

Scott Benner 1:01:15
Okay, and have them just keep on top of that, because an inability to regulate your hot and cold could be from thyroid, thyroid autoimmune, like type one. Diabetes is not uncommon for a person that have type one diabetes and a thyroid issue. So check into that. Because maybe that that might help you with some of the other with some of the other stuff, especially with the heat. And I know that both my wife and my daughter have hypothyroidism. So there are nights when I get in bed, like I bought my wife one year as a Christmas present a ceiling fan that runs so fast that it's like a jet engine and my children as I'm wrapping it, my kids were like, you're getting mommy ceiling fan for Christmas. And she's not going to like that as a gift. And I was like, No, you don't understand mom's gonna love this. And so it, it this thing, just it makes a turbine of air that it cools the air in the room to the point where sometimes it's hitting me in the face, and I'm like, I can't breathe. And I look over and I look over at her and she's so happy. She's like, it's nice, just nice and temperate in here. And I'm like is it because I'm freezing my nipples feel like they're gonna fall off.

Amy 1:02:24
I love the cold everybody hate later on the gold bar drops so hard when it's cold is a little harder. But I will I will take the cold any day of the week, then

Scott Benner 1:02:34
levels check while they're doing this other work on you and keep taking good care of yourself like that. That's I mean, in the end, that really is going to be your pathway to to everything. I don't know. I don't know if that the anxiety. Listen to my opinion, the anxiety should be treated as much with medication as it should be with therapy. I don't know how available therapy is to you. But like there's So here

Amy 1:02:56
it's it's horrible.

Scott Benner 1:02:59
That bird behind you or something like that

Amy 1:03:01
I that's it out in the woods is pretty much as good as talking to anybody in this town. Yeah, honestly, do they I even had a therapist out here say that the health, the mental health care system out here sucks. That's how bad it

Scott Benner 1:03:14
so here's an idea. Maybe you could do telemedicine with a therapist that's not in your area.

Amy 1:03:21
I have to write because not a bad idea. Because if you

Scott Benner 1:03:26
could find ways to lessen your anxiety aside of medication, that might be a big deal for you, you know, because I'm going back to the Walmart story. And I'm hearing that like, and you said something prior to that, that I didn't want to skip over which is you have an anxiety attack. And then not only are you anxious about the thing that made you anxious, you're now anxious about being anxious. Yeah, that's screwed up. Like that's not a big deal to me. Like that's difficult in a way that people won't understand if they don't go through it. And I didn't previously understand either, but now you're now it's just coming at you from both sides. And what are you doing? You're telling yourself Don't be anxious. That's not a plan.

Amy 1:04:08
There's a I've learned DBT skills.

Scott Benner 1:04:11
Tell me about that. What does that stand for? You want me to look it up because I just lost your audio anyways. Let your audio come back and I'll figure it out.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:23
Is it back?

Scott Benner 1:04:24
Yeah, you're back mindfulness. distress tolerance. mindfulness can go a long way but isn't always enough. Die.

Amy 1:04:32
Yeah, diet to diet.

Scott Benner 1:04:36
therapy. Why? Why do things have to have? Why can't they just say DBT and let it be. DBT refers to dialectical behavioral therapy. It's an approach to therapy that can help you learn to cope with difficult emotions. Today it's used for eating disorders self harm, depression, substance use disorders at its core DBT helps people build For major skills, mindfulness, distress, tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, it's helping

Amy 1:05:09
sometimes. So there's like different things like grounding. Like if you put your hands on your legs while you're doing stuff take deep breathing talent. There's another one that I don't know what it is. But it's like you see two things smell one thing, see a color and something else and just focus on those people. Put your mind somewhere else. Um, I can't Brown, I tend to kind of dig into myself a lot on so I can't do that. Breathing is my biggest thing I try to breathe on that day at Walmart. Even prior to that day I was having. I was very anxious the whole day. So I was trying to breathe through the day. And it just moment just made it worse. So just so I learned that and I even like go to see these other doctors because it's, it literally has learned he took me about five years to see a psychologist. Pretty sure that someone that's prescribing medication. And this is actually

Unknown Speaker 1:06:05
prescribed. Yeah.

Amy 1:06:06
Yeah. So it took me about five years in this area to find one, even after I got out of the eating disorder treatment center. And she was like, I can't help you. You need to get control. You're eating the server's Well, a little bit. I, you know, I, I know. She was like, I can't help you. Control your eating disorder papers. If your primary peers like I'm doing your medication, just have him do it. And he doesn't feel comfortable with it. Especially he does also this substance abuse. So anything that is a narcotic, he doesn't want to give me so that's kind of hard. And it like I said, it took me five years to find somebody to talk to them for the first time for an hour to tell me that they could not help me. And I've had a couple doctors tell me that and that I cried that day. And I was I was I was kind of a little bit suicidal that day, I was like, I can't do this. I'm never going to be fixed. I said, Nobody can help me, bla bla, bla. And even like, there's a point where my medication I get to the point where I can tolerate them. And then my anxiety gets a little worse. And then I notice it and then I'm like, I get anxious because I don't my doctor is like, well, maybe you should just deal with your anxiety a little bit. And I don't like that because once my anxiety starts a little bit, I don't want to go to that dark rabbit hole, which scares me, which causes me anxiety. So I don't want to go there. I was very suicidal. I actually tried to do suicide with my insolence several times. And luckily, my ex fiance knows how to use Google gone and forced me sugar things while I'm like almost passed out, so

Scott Benner 1:07:52
and what and that feeling of being suicidal, it's just that idea like, this is never all gonna be okay. Like I can't Yeah,

Amy 1:07:58
like I'm never gonna be fixed. Like, I'm like, there's a there's like, now I'm good. I like, Alright, we're medications are doing pretty good, we're good. My doctors following up with me more, I see him about at least every four weeks now to make sure that everything's good. Um, so it was good. But between, like, I don't know, like, I thought every, like, nothing was going good. Like, I was having a hard time. Even if I like, was struggling at work. Or just like most of it was because I my head wasn't straight. And I have been trying for years like I've been on medication since I was a kid. And I've been trying for years to get my head straight to the point where everything is okay. And I it's it sucks because this area sucks in mental health. I had a good time getting to where I wanted to be when I was out in Minnesota. My doctor wants me to go back out there and so that was my boyfriend and the next day but I did say I've been doing good and in the last year so I'm pretty good but I just want

Scott Benner 1:09:02
you had Karen Minnesota that was better for you you think Yeah.

Amy 1:09:05
Oh dude. So there was actually eating disorder treatment out here to the point you gotta walk to the facility they have like housing for you. You had to walk to the facility that was like a block away. No, sorry, not block away, like eight blocks away. And even if it was in the middle of winter, which it gets like negative degrees out here. So you had to walk there, then you're there and then they had this eating thing and I noticed a lot of eating disorder clinics don't treat all eating disorders they usually just focus on anorexia and that's that sucks because I they give you a piece of paper where you had to eat Yeah, they eat this many fats this many this and this many that. The thing is, is I didn't have a problem eating and I think a lot of type ones like that have died, believe me and stuff like that. A lot of us love it that we can eat anything we want and lose weight at the same time. So literally When it came to eat, I was fine. I eat whatever I want. But the thing is, is then it got to the point I remember I was on the couch, it was like a break time I was on the couch, and I did not feel well. And I did have my pump on me. And I like, literally rolled to the floor, and I thought I was gonna die. And I took some insulin. And then I remember the next morning was, I had a walkover and and I my ketones are super high. And neighbors sent me to the emergency room. And I said, No, I'm fine. And then they told me if you don't take your insulin that we're going to have to kick you out. And I'm like, this is why I'm here. I'm struggling to take my insulin because of fear of weight gain and stuff. And you're telling me that if I don't take it, you're gonna kick me out. So actually reached out to the diet, believe me on page, and I called them and they actually found a place with my insurance and stuff, and they got me to Minnesota, the only thing to do is find a way to get there and I got there. And that place was amazing. They have a special group for diabetic patients with eating disorders. And they have a mental health care, and they do so much like it's it was the greatest waste, like I couldn't ask for better treatment than any anywhere else. And with that said, like they had nurses that give you your insulin, and if even if you didn't want to take it all, they would talk to you about it to get you to take it. So it was it was like it was it was a really good treatment to the point where I was taking my insulin again. Um, so that was that was in the eating thing. It still went towards the people who had anorexia, who are anorexic, and I ate. So I don't know if anybody else but I heard a lot of people who restrict your insulin and then go back on insulin, they turn into a garbage can like they will eat anything and everything in their sight that that they can eat. Because for some reasons, like your body, start your body for so much. And now it can take all that although carbs that it can take that you've been like not giving it. And

Scott Benner 1:12:16
so you don't gain a lot of weight right away by re No. And using your hands.

Amy 1:12:21
No, I did I know. But you turn into a garbage fan like I wanted. Rise, I wanted this, I wanted pizza and it got to the point. So I got to the point where we were all eating around a table we all eat together. And then I got to a point where when I got done with my plate, I still wanted more. So that wasn't normal, so that I was considered an overeater at that point. So it got to the point where they're like, okay, so one through 10 How do you feel sevens where you want to feel 10? Is that your point that you feel like you're at a bus. So it actually got to the point where I was there and I had to tell myself to stop eating. Because for some reason, I don't know if you ever, like you know how you get like a chocolate bar, you're like, Oh, we just got a little piece. And now you want the whole thing. So if I went past that part of eating over that seven, like I already ate, I had like a balanced meal. I would eat, eat that one little bite. And I was like, Alright, let's just finish it. So though I had did come into a conflict, what we're all eating. And my therapist said, we'll talk to everybody there. And when you get to seven, you can stop eating. And remember, this girl said no, you can't stop eating. And I was like I was told to you that I can. And she's like, No, you have to eat our food. And just run you already ate my portion size. Like I already ate more than enough. And, but they only look at the people who didn't want to eat, who didn't want to touch your food, who was a fearful of her food to the point where I just wanted to do this. And I remember I shut down for like three days. Like I shot right down. Everybody's like me, you're not acting normal, like what's going on? Like, I was quiet. I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna eat no more. I was like telling myself just become anorexic. But I did work through it. And then they recognize that and it was it was good thing. But I think you have to be careful when you go to some places because they're not gonna focus on what your true eating disorder is, especially one that has to do with diabetes. But they did really well out there. So

Scott Benner 1:14:23
Well, I think that it sounds to me at least like you should find, even if it has to be through telemedicine, like find somebody who's better equipped to help you in your local your local area, that person doesn't exist. I still think it's good for you to have somebody to talk to because it sounds like it went much better and you are in a good place there. And this is obviously a maintenance thing. It's not going to right it's not going to go away on its own out of nowhere, like you're gonna have to maintain and maintain and is that the goal to like someday? Like I wonder what that did they ever excuse me Did they ever share with you what your goal should be like what it is you're trying to get to?

Unknown Speaker 1:15:05
Like a weight goal?

Scott Benner 1:15:06
No, like a, like a psychological goal, like,

Amy 1:15:10
yeah, you should be happy with yourself. And that's pretty much it. But there's days and I and I know everybody strolls. And my boyfriend didn't really understand it a lot, because he didn't understand suicidal. And I don't think a lot of people do. And I still I still, that's why I'm really open to it. So when people ask me about my cut marks, I tell them about it. And some people are like, Oh, why don't you cover them up? And I'm like, because I want to tell them my story. I want them to be educated about the same thing with my CGM on my phone, like you asked me about it, I'm gonna tell you about it. And my boyfriend's like, oh, people get down all the time. And I used to not believe in depression at all. I really didn't. I just thought somebody had a million dollars, maybe fine. That'd be okay. You know, if they had their family around them the whole time, if they had what they truly wanted the whole time, they'd be fine. No, it really I remember, I was crying one day, and I didn't know why. And Dylan, like ex fiance, was like, This is depression. And I said, I don't know why he's like, this is it. And then I realized, okay, I'm depressed, I need to get this treated. Like I didn't want to take medication for I didn't, because I felt like if I did take medication for it, that meant that I was sick, I was sick. And I wasn't like everybody else. And I and I, I'm glad that a lot of people are speaking out from this from like, celebrities all the way down to just me to say that it's just a chemical imbalance in your brain, it has nothing of being like a sick person, you're just, it's just like, somebody being diabetic, something doesn't work, you have to take medication for it, it's not making you any different than what you are. Hey, so I actually

Scott Benner 1:16:52
think that's a perfect way to end this too. Because I, I've been struggling for how to bring this to a close and, and I think that's exactly right. Just, you know, do what you need to do to live your life. And don't you're not, you know, if your pancreas doesn't work, your pancreas doesn't work if you know, and whatever else comes along, but I completely agree with you. Depression, anxiety, those things from the outside can be looked at, like they're, you know, like, oh, they're just crazy. But that's just the case. You know, it's, it's, it's very simple. Like you said, there's an imbalance of chemicals that lead you to feel more strongly about empty shelves, and I felt about them. And yeah, and I think a lot of us, you know, in regular everyday life prior to COVID-19, specifically, our lives were pretty comfortable. Like we had a, you know, it happened in a certain way I get up, I do this thing, like I have coping mechanisms. And now all of a sudden, those coping mechanisms are shot. And visually, everything seems different. And you're seeing people reacting to these things differently. And you're right, somebody has to share what's happening to them. So someone else knows. Otherwise, they're gonna think they're crazy and not just know that there's help to be had. So yeah, I appreciate you doing this very much, especially because you don't listen to Why are you following me on Instagram, by the way,

Amy 1:18:16
because I follow other type one diabetics on Instagram. And then you came up a lot. So I was like, Okay, I'll follow this. And I was gonna listen to podcasts. I'm a very busy person.

Scott Benner 1:18:29
You got to play football. You got to talk to Paul.

Amy 1:18:37
Meaning to like, there's like other podcasts that I've been meaning to listen to. And I just don't get around to it. Yeah, this

Scott Benner 1:18:43
is the one Don't worry about the other ones. Well, I really appreciate you doing this. I want to thank you. And I'm going to stop for a second stop recording you because I want to share with you, you know, what I think might help you a little bit. So and I've mentioned it here already, but I want to make sure you have the information. So thank you very much for doing this. I really appreciate it. It

Unknown Speaker 1:19:06
was a pleasure. Oh, thank

Scott Benner 1:19:07
you. For me as well. You really are delightful. I hope nothing but the best for you because I think you deserve it. And not that everybody doesn't. But you've come a long way and I you know, I'd hate to see it. I hate to see it not finished for you. Like I think there's whatever it is you think finishing is. I hope you get to it. I really do.

Unknown Speaker 1:19:30
So looking for that.

Scott Benner 1:19:31
I hope you find it. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue, glucagon, find out more about chivo chi Bo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juice box. you spell that GVOKEGL Uc ag o n.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast To learn more about the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, check them out at Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox. super accurate meter, incredibly easy to use and carry, really, really, really take a minute to look at it. The website has a ton of stuff, including links to their test trip program, and you may even be eligible for a free meter. I want to thank Amy for coming on the show and for being so incredibly honest. And for just going with it and continuing to tell our story after it became obvious that I didn't even understand a tiny bit about her when I asked her on the show. I really sincerely thought I was just asking somebody who had an incredible weight loss to come on and talk about it. I did not know where any of this was going to go. Thank you so much for listening. If you're enjoying the show, please give it a great rating and review on Apple podcast. Tell a friend, subscribe in your podcast player, support the sponsors. Whatever you can do. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. But there are more shows coming in 2020 this show does not stop still coming. A great chat I had with Jenny that kind of rounded out the year we just sort of sat down and talked. I have a defining diabetes coming. And I just recorded a show that I think I'm going to launch 2021 with that was really spectacular. I'm super excited to keep bringing you the show. I appreciate everyone's support. I'll talk to you soon.

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