#918 We're Not Gonna Take It

Christina's daughter has type 1 diabetes and experienced bullying about her type 1.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 00:00 Hello friends, and welcome to episode 918 of the Juicebox Podcast here's a little behind the scenes on the podcast for you. This episode has been recorded recently it wasn't supposed to go up for months. In fact, it was slated to go up a few weeks before school started back up. But I saw a post online today. That is this exact same problem. And I thought, God, how many kids are going through this. So I just wanted to get this up. Now. This episode is with Christina, her daughter has type one diabetes, she's about 11 years old. And she experienced some comments from schoolchildren that really led to the regression of her diabetes and Christina and I talked about how to handle that today. I hope you enjoy it. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to support the podcast while getting great sheets, towels and clothing, use the offer code juice box at cozy earth.com to save 35% on your entire order. Better help.com forward slash juice box will save you 10% On your first month of therapy and athletic greens.com forward slash juice box we get you five free travel packs and a year of free vitamin D with your first order. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the blood glucose meter that my daughter has been using for years. And this is no secret. It's my favorite one that I've ever used. The contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juicebox. Check out the contour next gen the Contour Next One, the full line of meters. Fantastic website. I know it's hard to believe there's a great website that's about meters. But this one's got a ton of information on it. Contour next one.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com To contour decks comm I'm the pod us man touched by type one better help all of the sponsors. When you click on the links, you're supporting the podcast.

Christina 02:21 My name is Christina, and I live in California. And I have three kids, a 11 year old she is my type one. And then I have a nine year old who's also a girl and a four year old who is are a little boy

Scott Benner 02:40 11 Nine 411 Nine for women. 944 is the youngest is a boy the other two are girls, and the 11 year old has type one. I got it. Okay, how old was your daughter when she was diagnosed?

Christina 02:57 It was actually she's sort of a newer one. It was in 2021 in December. So you know, we got the we got COVID at Thanksgiving, and came home and we all were just Well actually not all of us. Three of us. Husband, me and our oldest. We had COVID and it's kind of the same story, you know, somebody gets a virus. And then she we all have different symptoms. And she kind of just slept. You know, she was sleeping eating. And I just thought that's how it hit her. Yeah. And then she started not eating very much. And then I got to the point where she wasn't eating at all. And then I got to the point where she couldn't keep anything down. So it and then she you know, she did the chug the water in the middle of the night thing because she wasn't doing that before. She just always as a kid drink a lot of water. So I didn't have that sign ever before. And so I was just thinking, You know what, she's really dehydrated, she's probably going to be admitted. So I'm just going to take her in the ER, at our Children's Hospital. And then took her in and the nurse was was kind of like what she hasn't eaten since Wednesday really and it was a Friday. And so she said let's just take your blood sugar and it was 491 and she right away was in this is like in the waiting room where everybody's sitting and right away. She goes, Yeah, I I think does she have type one? And I said no. Is she said, I think we have like a new diagnosis. And I said okay, and so that from there I told my sister is a nurse. So I told her and she's like, Yeah, she's probably in DKA and You know, they, they took us back really fast. And we were in the hospital for like, almost five days. And which I'm actually thankful for, because a lot of times people, you know, get diagnosed and then sent home two hours later, but I actually got to, you know, get bootcamp and ask them how to do things and, and I didn't feel nervous going home. So that's, I'm, I'm thankful she was in DK even though it was scary. But I actually was able to, like, really know what I was doing.

Scott Benner 05:34 Yeah. Well, that's excellent. Yeah, it really interesting to the nurse picked it up so quickly, even in the waiting room. That's great. Well,

Christina 05:43 you know, a week before, the the nurse that we had at nighttime that night, he said, we had a boy in here almost the same age, same story, like, came in with COVID. And he was in DK. Then I think, you know, maybe she was the nurse that saw him. I don't know. But she like right away picked it up. Yeah.

Scott Benner 06:07 Wow. And that's something that's great. I mean, it's, it's nice to hear somebody know what they're doing. So Excellent. Any other type one in your family?

Christina 06:17 My great grandma. So my grandpa's mom when he was 22. He ended up like not going to college because he needed to stay home. And when I was a kid, I didn't know what she was sick with. But she just said she was sick. So he stayed and helped take care of her. And then when he was 22, she passed away. Because back then, you know, it was back in the 1800s when she was diagnosed. Yeah, you know, she, so they didn't really have anything.

Scott Benner 06:48 Sure. So she got she got type one. And then they probably did that, like real restrictive diet high exercise, like that kind of stuff to try to keep her Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's something and that story got passed through your family. Yeah, that's interesting. It really is. And then, but that's a number of generations ago. So not something you're thinking about?

Christina 07:14 Oh, no, no, I actually, when we are at because I grew up in Idaho. So we were all for Thanksgiving in Idaho. And we're sitting there and I was talking with my mom and my sister, looking at Charlie and thinking like, Oh, I've been like really thinking maybe it's an age thing. Maybe she's just not eating at lunch. And she's, you know, girls go through stuff. And so she was getting really skinny. But I thought maybe she but then I when I would see her she would eat like tons tons and tons of food. And so then it was like maybe a growth spurt. But at Thanksgiving, I was thinking like, something wrong, like the C word. You know, like maybe cancer and I and I said it to my sister, and my mom. And my mom was like, What is she eating? And my sister goes, Mom, she just ate four pieces of pizza and a big bowl of Turkey noodle soup. She she's not not eating. So if I had to say any sign that was the sign for me knowing something was wrong, but it just was so hard to tell because she's she's 11 and she's like, five, six. really tall. Oh, so I just didn't like

Scott Benner 08:38 cleaning out like, yeah, the Grossberg

Christina 08:41 maybe it's a Grossberg because she's like, just 10 feet. back then. It was like size nine. But

Scott Benner 08:49 Christine I've been doing this for so long. I've been doing this for so long. That might take away from your story is that Turkey noodle soup with sound good for lunch lovely idea. Yeah.

Christina 09:04 Just get get a turkey. It's better if you cook the turkey and then use you know, the the stock from that. And then the actual Turkey. I like dark meat. But the the white meats okay to?

Scott Benner 09:20 I don't know, I'm starting to think about it. Then I was like, What's wrong with this? She's telling me this story about her daughter's like super thin. And she's like, maybe she has cancer. Could be I don't know. And I'm like, boy, that turkey soup. Sounds good. Yeah, I've heard too many of these stories is what I just realized. Okay, so

Christina 09:42 the same story, you know? Yeah.

Scott Benner 09:44 Well, it's what happens next. It's usually interesting. So I guess my first question is, was your daughter was like, maybe 10 when she was diagnosed? Yeah, yeah. How did she deal with it?

Christina 09:58 Um, you know, in the bigger anything, she kind of was like, let's do this. Like she, she was at our hospital they do the walk before you run thing. Because right now she's like on a pump that CGM. But in the beginning they had us do all the, you know, MDI, which I'm thankful for again, because so many times we, like, just last week her had fell off at volleyball practice. And we are going through a drive there. And she's like, Oh, really? Yeah, I forgot the law. He kind of, you know, started to get like upset like, Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm not going to eat till I get home. And I said, no, like, if you're willing to give yourself a shot, you're fine. Because I carry you know, all the stuff with me. So it's in that situation. Nobody was freaking out, except for her thinking she couldn't eat until she got home. So it's, I'm thankful for for that. Yeah. But I kind of forgot what we were talking about. Because I

Scott Benner 11:07 know how she dealt with it. You said she was doing well. Yeah. You made it sound like she came out of the gate strong. But then.

Christina 11:15 Yeah, no, she came out strong. What we're running into now is burnout and peers and that type of stuff. She dealt with it fine. I'm just seeing now, it catching up. You know, maybe that Yeah,

Scott Benner 11:31 tell me tell me about that. What's happening there?

Christina 11:35 Oh, you know, and this is actually gonna go into sort of the, you know, the topic that I brought up that we could talk about, but she was completely by doing it in front of friends. And then you know, she hits sixth grade, a boy makes a comment. And she stops eating or not Pre-Bolus thing at school. Because she doesn't want to do it in front of friends, or people she's comfortable with. So it's kind of we're kind of running into that she'll do it in front of her friend show. And it's really now it kind of simply, you know, you just take out your phone, which people think is a phone and then type in numbers, and you're fine. But she is just so like, Oh, they're going to know, now and doesn't even want to pull it out? Because she doesn't want the question or cuz you know,

Scott Benner 12:36 the comments. It was the boy.

Christina 12:38 Yeah, it was the boy, the boy made some silly comments. And now she's like, Oh, I don't want to have diabetes anymore. I don't want people to know, I don't want people to talk about it. It was just that one comment. You know, that's, I mean, yeah. And, and I've talked with her teacher about it, who has been a sixth grade teacher for, you know, almost 30 years. And she said, The bad part is like, she doesn't surprise her. She sees so like kids will wear sweatshirts in 90 degree weather. Because they don't want certain parts of their body to show and they're sweating and their faces are red, that they will not take that sweatshirt off. Just because of Pierce. Yeah, that's she said yeah. It's just unfortunate that it's, you know, a medical thing that she that is affecting her.

Scott Benner 13:32 Yeah. Christina before we move forward. I'm having trouble your voice is fading out a lot with those. Oh god. Do you have wired headphones by any chance? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 13:42 I do. called on

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Christina 16:38 Okay, here we go. So much better. Is this better? Oh, yes.

Scott Benner 16:41 One. Oh, good. Thank you. This is a it shouldn't be a lesson to all of you. Who's got rid of your home phones. They sounded so much better. Just $12 a month at this point. I have a home phone with just act old with me and make your stuff sound better. Okay. Wow. So did your daughter ever talk to you about the boy? Or did you have to pry it out of her? Did she come tell you?

Christina 17:11 Oh, no. So it you know, I picked her up from school. And she just was like, raging, you know, anything that anybody said was annoying. And we're on our way to volleyball and nothing's working. She can't find anything. And it really was getting to the point where I was like, like, am I gonna yell at her? Start saying bad words. I don't know. Oh, so

Scott Benner 17:40 you so well. So what's your impression when she's complaining? Because what I hear like, you know, obviously not in your house and listening to the conversation is this boy said something to her, sent her down a rabbit hole about this. And now she's very, very sensitive to everything that's happening are saying, but how does it oh, how is it impacting you, though?

Christina 18:02 Oh, no. So. So how was it? What it what it actually did? Was? And do you want me to answer how it's impacting us? Or do you want me to tell you how it came out?

Scott Benner 18:15 No, Christina do the whole thing. We got time. Go ahead.

Christina 18:18 Okay, so you know, it. I'm trying to like, so another thing that I do is like, I look at what her blood sugar is, like, is she just freaking out right now because she has high blood sugar. Because that's usually what happens is when she's acting that way, we've got like, we're rising up. But it wasn't that and so finally I just say Is something going on. Like, we gotta like, I always do this, like, Let's reset. Yeah, cuz that just stops a whole conversation. Like what's going on? And she's like, well, and I'm not gonna say the boy's name. said to me that I can't eat this candy bar, because I have diabetes, and I ate too much sugar. And that's why. And I, I got like, I in that moment, you know, things have been building up. And I just don't that mother.

Unknown Speaker 19:27 Yeah, yeah.

Christina 19:31 Bored kid. The positive thing is like, I don't normally like talk like this. So when I do say something like that, the kids know like, I'm either serious, or something's going on. And they just started laughing. So it was good, because they were like, You just said

Scott Benner 19:52 you broke the tension. Yeah,

Christina 19:54 yeah, broke the tension. And I was kind of like, I know I said that. I didn't mean this. say that and he's not really that. But like, he's just uneducated. Like, he has no idea what he's talking about. And I said, Do you want me to say something? Do you want me to, you know, go because we can't have this keep going on. Right? Like, we need to, like, do some education to this boy. And she's like, No, no, I don't want to get in trouble. I don't want that. So what I, what I eventually do, like I said, it, we literally had just pulled up to volleyball, she went off to volleyball, and then gets back in the car. And you know, it's like, doesn't bother her anymore, because she got some of her frustrations out at volleyball. And I'm still bothered about it. So the next day, I just picked her up from school. And I said, Hey, you know, I'm gonna just run in really quick. And she's like, No, Mom, no, no. And I said, I'm not going to, like do anything, I'm just going to figure out how to how to handle this situation. So I just went in. And luckily, the principal was sitting right there in the office. And, and coincidentally, that kid was sitting in a room in the office. And this, you know, this kid is, is the kid that everybody is always like, Oh, it was this kid, he did it. Right. He said that. So he sort of has a reputation. Like he was in the office for being in trouble most likely, when I got there. So I just said to the principal, look, a situation happened. And he's like, Well, what was it? And I said, you know, adults make an educated by the comments. So I know like that, that's where this is coming from. The kids said this. And I told Charlie, that I just was gonna mention it, she doesn't want him getting in trouble. But if it happens, again, how do we go forward and handle it? And so that's kind of just what we did. And I'm pretty sure the kid heard the entire conversation. And so that was good. You know, I did, he kind of got talked to, but not really. I was able to say what I wanted to say to get it off my chest. Yeah. And, and then it was just, you know, put on notice,

Scott Benner 22:36 well, you're very, very adult and immature. Look at you. When I'm, when my brother was in high school. I was kind of my I was kind of my brother's de facto parent. So my brother is like a, I don't know, a junior in high school, which only makes me like, out of high school for like three years. And my brother gets into a fight with this other boy, and I get called to the school, my mom gets called the school, but my mom doesn't have a car. She's like, going, I'm going. So I go to the school. And I go into the office, I'm like, what happened? He goes, that kid is crazy. He's like, I don't know what happened. He just like, flew off the handle. I'm like, Look at me. I'm like, I don't care what you did. But you need to tell me so I know how to like, you know how to handle this. And he goes, he goes, it really wasn't me. Like he just like, flipped. So the boys were sort of in the outer office sitting there. And the, the principal starts talking to me and the boy's father. And you know, try to imagine you're the boy's father, you're probably in your 40s. Like this 22 year old guy shows up like to speak for person, you also have to be like, it's gotta be in just incensing. And I purposefully spoke in a way that would like the boy up, and then he flipped out and went after everybody. And I backed up and backed up. And I pointed to him, and I went, Hmm, seems like we know what happened. And just like that, my brother got released, and I walked outside. I was like, let me know if you need anything else. And I went back to work. But I, oh, my god, I just I looking back, it's funny, but you know, it wasn't really like I just, I saw the kid was unbalanced. And I just sort of said the things that I thought poke the bear, I poked it, I poked him a little bit, and he flipped out.

Christina 24:20 And I was like, I'm just so curious as to what you said, though. Oh, I don't remember

Scott Benner 24:24 so long ago. I just remember doing it. I just remember. I remember looking at the kid assessing him as being unstable, and thinking I could probably get him to flip out. That's all you were very much more an adult. Obviously. By the way, you that's why you shouldn't put 22 year olds in charge of like, adult problems. But yeah,

Christina 24:44 that's that's the whole like, your frontal cortex has not developed. Yeah,

Scott Benner 24:49 no, no, I was all about like, how do I get my brother out of this? Like, I didn't even I didn't even care about a resolution. I was just I wanted the trouble to go away, but that's also a function of being really broke. Like that. There's always this fear that if something goes wrong, it's going to cost money, or somebody will have to take it. And you won't be okay. So you're always trying to like protect the, you have no money to speak up, but you're trying to protect it, basically. All right. It's how I always saw stuff like that. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I my mom used to make cheese when my dad left my mom, she had her she got a job making $4 an hour maybe. And then, and by the time this story happens, I'm working. I make like, $5 an hour, and I'm doing like hard labor for $5 an hour. Oh, my God. Yeah. And so like, even just taking off a couple of hours to go to the school. Or like, like, in my mind, I'm like, Oh, God, what is this? Like? What if this is a fight? Like, what if this goes to court? We can't afford it. Like, you know, like, my mind, just kind of, like, ran through that. So I was, I was defending, you know, our bottom line? Which, right, you know, our total savings was, was $400. Probably so. Right. Anyway, the, but I liked the way you did it much better. I'm,

Christina 26:08 yeah. I have have been, you know, in a school office once or twice before?

Scott Benner 26:14 Yeah. Wasn't your first day? Yeah. So does this bring any comfort to your daughter? or No?

Christina 26:23 No. So that's the thing, we're still, you know, working on this, this. This, this behavior of hers now that? That so it's, it's formed a new behavior? This thing with this boy, now, it's kind of like, she doesn't want to have like, it's a major burnout. Yeah, okay. But on the highest level, because she's sort of, you know, not helping herself out at all. Because she will go to school, like, in the anytime she's with me, it's like, great, great charts, you know, great graphs. Were Pre-Bolus, seeing 20 minutes before, you know, doing all the stuff. But then the second, she leaves me, and there's peers around, especially, it's like, I don't have this anymore. And I'm just going to make up for it when I get home from school. Or if I go to the bathroom. And I remember all correct. Yeah, she really doesn't leave. So. So that's actually currently an active thing we're working on. And, you know, I've tried the, like, rewarding her, you know, this, this thing? Is it this thing that I'm, I've been doing with my middle one, for years and years and years. It's, it's ABA, it's applied behavior analysis, where we, we see a behavior, we understand the behavior, and then we try to modify it, because my middle one is actually on the spectrum. So we've been doing ABA with her since she was three years old. Okay, so now I'm taking the skills that I learned from that, and trying to apply it to this type one daughter of mine.

Scott Benner 28:36 So it gets helping,

Christina 28:38 oh, there, there's actually a lot of different things and, you know, coping skills and tools that I've learned with doing because we've had other situations, you know, like, where we've had to address it. This is kind of the biggest one so far in our type one journey. Yeah.

Scott Benner 28:59 It's very serious and sad. You know, like, it could really like because she's making decisions right now. That are that go against her health, in order to make other people happy, who she will one day learn are not important people to her at all. And that's exactly Yeah, it sucks. I'll tell you like, it doesn't strike me as completely healthy. But I think I'd go with a us against them tactic. I think I'd be like, listen, we don't care about people who don't care about us. And if this person doesn't care about your health, then we can't care about what they think. Like, that's kind of the vibe like, I don't know, like, do you ever notice that? Are you married? Christina?

Christina 29:48 That's actually a whole like three hour conversation. But no, um, yes, but no, we're getting married. I've actually just recently filed.

Scott Benner 29:58 Well, have you ever been in this? might even be more poignant you've ever been in a relationship before? Do you ever notice that you'd never get along better than when you have a common enemy?

Christina 30:10 You know what? That? That's pretty funny. I never thought of it. But

Scott Benner 30:15 I think of it all the time. If my wife is pissed at somebody, I immediately jump on board. I'm like, Yeah, them because? Because then she's like, he's on my team. I'm like, God, damn right. I am. And then

Christina 30:29 well, then you just need to find more enemies. And you'll have a great marriage.

Scott Benner 30:32 Right? Listen, it's a it's a reasonable tactic. But no, but being serious, like, by the way, I don't know that I wasn't being serious. But being serious. The like, when you have a common foe, you feel more aligned. And the way I've said this on the podcast before, I'm happy to say it again to you, because I'm sure everybody hasn't heard every word. But when I caught my little brother smoking, what I said to him was, somewhere in a boardroom, there are 10 Very rich people laughing that you're buying their cigarettes. Why? Why are you doing that for them? Right, like, like, they're like, Haha, these kids out there buying cigarettes, and I own a speedboat. And I have three mistresses and a Lamborghini and my wife and a mansion. And they're going to die. So I can pay for all this. Like, why would you let that happen? And and I think I have a very similar feeling about this. Like what I said earlier, I really believe in like, I'm not on the side of people who aren't on my side. So if you're doing something that is actively causing my health to deteriorate, well, you're not somebody I care about. Like, I can't possibly, why would I listen to you, you don't care about me. And I don't know that if she's old enough for that or not. But I mean, it's a

Christina 31:58 because that is so opposite of, of how I would actually approach it,

Scott Benner 32:06 I know, it's my brother in law, and then

Christina 32:08 invite it and anything like I in life for me, too, I wouldn't approach it that way. And turn and I have completely different personalities she likes, maybe you're onto something there. Because I was gonna go into like, Well, my next plan is to do with doing what I did with my middle one, when we have this certain thing that we want them to do like this good behavior, which would be in this case, Pre-Bolus thing. We were like, do this. It's called a social story. So we would sit down, and we would talk about and kind of at her age, because she's older, I kind of more do it in a journalistic type of way, where we would sit down, and I could write in like, this is a situation that happened. This is now what's happening. This is how this would be a better choice to do. Like, when we're at school, and we're embarrassed that our friends are around. What are some ways that we could like not be embarrassed? And you know, maybe your thing is like, you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what they think about me, because I don't really care about am I gonna be friends with them? No, I don't know. Right? Maybe I have. It doesn't matter.

Scott Benner 33:42 Christina I have a comparison right now. I don't know that I can make but I hold on. So first of all, why did I come to this? Because when we first got on, I wrote down Christina, California as like a possible title for your episode. And I know you live somewhere where people are really like tend to be thought shallow. Well, but but like hippie dippie is what I was going Oh, yeah. And not to say that what you're doing with your your other child is and I can I'm gonna sound all over the place for a second. I love what you're doing with your other child. And I love what you tried with this kid. What it ignores is the nature of people and that there is somebody else in this equation that you're not in control of. You're not parenting the boy or the other people right? Because now everybody is the boy to her. Now she's 100% He believes everyone is looking at her like that when the truth is almost nobody gives a shit about her. Like nobody's thinking about her. That's the thing that kids miss. Right? Right. Like that's why

Christina 34:39 you're worrying about if they smell or not. Yeah, well.

Unknown Speaker 34:43 Oh my god when the internet got bigger, and I was like, and kids were like they're bullying me I'm like online like that. They're not there to like turn like you people needed to get bullied in the 70s like we're a bully held me under the water and was like you're gonna die. I was being bullied it and like, like, in a way that like could kill me in the moment. And you could shut your phone off and never hear from these people. And it's a hard lesson. And I know it's harder when you're a kid. But like, like, I'm a person who puts my voice out into the world, there are plenty of people who don't like me. And some of them make effort to make sure that I know it. But you know what I do? I ignore what I just don't listen to them. And that, you know, you know what, then they don't exist. That's it. There's billions of people on the planet, I'm aware of about 45 of them in person. Everyone else doesn't really exist unless you let them. And I don't say you should. Like I'm not saying like, hold yourself up and don't meet people. I'm saying be selective about who you let into your life. And if right, and she has to realize, first of all, the hardest thing to get is that boy probably thinks she's cute. And you know what I mean? Like, that's the part you lose is that like, he's like, he said, I couldn't eat this. Bah, bah, bah, bah. I used to kick girls in the hallway. You know which ones Christina?

Christina 36:09 The party. They're really.

Scott Benner 36:12 Like, once I found attractive, I don't know why. Like, I can't explain to you why an eight year old boy, a 10 year old boy would do something like that. It's stupid. I get it. But it's kind of how people's minds work. So

Christina 36:24 and that's what I said to her, too. I said, you know, he's probably thinking you're cute, like trying to make light. And she's like, Mom, no, that's so gross.

Scott Benner 36:35 Well, yeah, she's not ready for that idea. Yet. By the way, I wanted to be clear about kicking. I don't mean like full on, like curb stomping. I mean, like, just reaching people who are in front of you in line, you just kind of like messing with them like to get their attention because you want to be involved with them.

Christina 36:49 Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it's happened to to a lot of us, right? It happened to me when I was eight years old. I just liked it, though.

Scott Benner 36:58 Oh, my God, Christina. No, I would kick them back, get 1000 people together and ask them to tell their story about how they got together with their significant other and it's going to start off with I thought she was blank. I thought he was an idiot. Like, blah, blah, blah, then we just turned out to be like, like, it just always goes like that. It's just not going to happen to you when you're 10. That's all Yeah, yeah. But my point is, is that I think what she needs is agency. I think she needs power. I think she needs the confidence of, I'm just gonna say a lady in a top that doesn't fit her. She just needs that, like, This is who I am. And the rest of you. I don't give a shit. Like, like, in a nicer way, because she's 11. Like, we have to nice that down somehow and fit it well.

Christina 37:45 And I think she would like to be able to say that to you. Like that's her personality. Yeah. So maybe I'm just like, you know,

Scott Benner 37:53 you think you're holding her back with your nice stuff. Yeah.

Christina 37:55 With my with my hippie dippie ways, right?

Scott Benner 38:00 What are you trying to get the title off of Christina, California. Very good. Nice to try. Always not bad.

Christina 38:08 I mean, doesn't send change over here.

Scott Benner 38:10 It works when it works. But it works when the person on the other side is thoughtful understanding, willing to listen, emotionally mature enough to go along with that ride for you. And the truth is, she's not emotionally mature enough to go on that ride yet, like you're, you're painting a picture of for her of the way things should be. And I don't disagree with it. But it's not her reality. And she can't even put herself in it because she probably looks at kids and thinks she probably has thoughts like that about other kids too. So she's Oh, yeah. So she's like, if I'm thinking this way? Well, they definitely think this about me, I'll tell you that, um, I remember very vividly after a day of baseball, my son and I went to this diner. So he was playing baseball in New Jersey. And we were very close to where Kevin Smith comic bookstore was. And I said, Let's go there. And then we'll have lunch. There's a diner. I know, that's up the street. And so we did that. But because like it was kind of like a cultural center because Kevin Smith was very famous at the time and he had this little comic bookstore. There was really nowhere to eat. So we went into this diner, it was packed. We waited our turn, my son's at his baseball stuff. I mean, it's what he lives in. You know, he's comfortable. And the lady seats us. So it's a diner, whether booze or booze, booze, booze, booze. Booth booth. It's multiple booth. Yes, good. Booth. Okay, that sounds wrong. But there were a lot of I can't do it. There are a lot of those ways of seating around the walls, right like down the walls. But in the middle of the room. There were tables. And that's all that was left. And we got seated at a table that base III was surrounded by three walls of people sitting in booth. And we weren't there very long. And I don't think my son was maybe probably around your daughter's age or maybe a year or so older. And I looked up at him and I said, Hey, are you okay? And he was very uncomfortable. Oh, and I said, What's wrong? And he felt like, everyone was looking at him. Oh, gosh, because he was centerstage. You know? And, and we talked about it. And I said, I understand you feel that way. I said, but I want you to really listen to me for a second, like, look me in the face. I said, describe the other people around us. And he starts to look around with no, don't look at them. Describe them to me. And he goes, I don't know, I haven't been looking at them. And I said, yeah, they haven't been looking at you either. And I and I said, and this is a hard lesson at a at a at a young age. But nobody cares about you. Nobody, these people are strangers. They're here eating. They don't have an opinion about you. I'm like, do you have an opinion about them? And he said, No. And I'm like, and they don't have one about you. Nobody sees you. Not that you're invisible, or that you're not important. You're very important to me. You're very important to yourself. But these people are strangers. And they don't. They don't care. Like maybe one of them's looked up at you and thought, oh, that kid just came from baseball. That's the my son used to play baseball, then like, but that's it. Like, if you think someone's looking at you right now going that kid looks odd or strange. I wonder if he got a hit today? Like, are all the things that you're concerned about? I promise you, they don't care. And it was comforting to him. It was honest. You know, but what

Christina 41:47 what gave you like, I would have never thought to say that, you know, look at all these people, or all these people around you describe them?

Scott Benner 41:58 Yeah, well, I just I was trying to put into his head that they don't, they're not looking at him. So I proved I proved it to him by by coming by telling him like he didn't even know what everybody else. You don't know what everybody else looks like. They don't know what you look like. They're not paying attention to you. They're talking at their table just the way you and I are talking right now. We don't know what they're talking about. And I think I said like, what do you think they're talking about? And he goes, I don't know. And I was like, Yeah, that's it. Like, you know, people imagine things all the time. And I very recently was recording with a nine year old girl who has diabetes. And I have to admit her parents like tricked me into it. I totally thought I was talking to the mom and I was talking. They didn't probably Oh my gosh. So I get a record early in the morning. And there's like, hello. And I'm like, wait a minute, what is happening? Like, like, you know, right, I figured out and listen, the kid was terrific. And she's still nine, she was limited in what she could talk about. So we started we started like, she lives in Canada. So I made it, but she didn't understand my sarcasm. So it was just terrific. Because I basically just made fun of Canada the whole time. Like we got into these conversations where I was like, Hey, where are you live? Like, that's where Santa lives, right? And she goes, No. And I'm like, wait, well, where does Santa doesn't live in Canada? And she goes, No, like, we're not gonna, we're just gonna live she was the North Pole on like, wait, the north poles, not Canada. And she's like, No, we're going back and forth. And at one point, at one point, I said something like, how do you get to school like in a sled? Or like, how do you like a four wheeler? She doesn't have a car and like, there's no cars in Canada? And she was yes, there are and I'm like, I'm like, there can't be. And she goes, there's cars in America. And I was like, Have you ever been to America? And she goes, No. And I'm like, Well, how do you know? And she goes, Well, there are there are cars in Canada. And I said, Listen, are you in a room with a door? And she goes, Yes. And I said, on the other side of the door, the side of the door, you can't see. Is there a clown standing there right now? And she goes, she goes, No. And I went, are you sure? She goes? I guess not. Now, I was like,

Christina 44:07 Are you just trying to scare a nine year old I was

Scott Benner 44:09 trying to be funny on the podcast. And I was trying to teach the I was trying to teach the kid Critical Thinking I said, yeah, there's probably not a clown on the other side is not a clown, but you cannot definitively say that it's not there. And I said, and you're right. There are probably cars in America, but you've never been here. So you don't know for sure. And she's like, okay, and like she got it. And I just, I just think that we do a disservice to kids sometimes by not telling them the truth about the world. It's almost like, you know, when people say like, oh, my, my kid cursed. I was so embarrassed. Christina Do you know a human being that doesn't curse?

Christina 44:49 Um, know. Yeah. And the

Scott Benner 44:51 ones that don't do really trust them. You know, I'm sorry. Right? Right. So like my point is, is that everybody curses and we act like they don't. And then these kids walk around with this unrealistic expectation put on them. And I wonder if telling your daughter be nice to people who are mean to you? Like, yes, you should be nice to them. But I think there are caveats to that. I think he doesn't understand. And maybe it's because he likes you. Or maybe it's because he's an idiot. Or maybe it's because of a million things we're not going to understand. But it's not important. We don't care about his opinion. That's what's important. us as a family, we care about people who want you to be healthy, and people who don't want you to be healthy. Not only do we not care about them, we don't want them, we don't want them to have influence over us, because the most important thing is you and your health. And that's it. That's what I care about. So we're going to do we're going to Bolus are for our foods, and we are going to correct if our blood sugar gets high, and we don't care who sees because, you know, the truth is, the people who love you won't care. Tell her that my daughter has 56789 amazing friends in the world who would not care at all about her diabetes, they wouldn't say anything about it or make her feel bad about it. They wouldn't make fun of her. But that's because my daughter has called those people together. Right? And, and you just you can't expect everybody to to be that nice. I don't know.

Christina 46:28 And anyway, maybe the the direction that I always go is like, oh, you know, you don't know. Maybe he's having a bad day. Maybe he thinks you're cute, you know, making excuses. We're really maybe that's not even helping her at all. Because I'm not really empathizing with her.

Scott Benner 46:49 Yeah, you're not hearing her concern? Because you're saying like, here's what you're saying, Mom, somebody punched me in the face today. And you said maybe he's having a bad day. I don't care if he's even worse. Yeah, right. Well, I don't care if he's having a bad day can't punch me. Like, like, there has to be walls. There has to be lines. There has to be you don't We don't bend from this. us as a family. Here's our line. We don't go past this one. You don't get to make my daughter unhealthy. We hid we we do not stand for that. Anybody who would make that assertion? To me mean, I think and listen, I know the the concern is you don't want to make your kids like the cynical little who are running around like saying like, everybody sucks. And you don't know how people are like, like you. You have to explain it to them. Like, it's not everybody. It's not people. It's not society, there are a ton of great people in the world, and you're gonna meet a lot of them. He's not one of them. Or he's not one of them right now, he might be one day, but he's just not right now. And the problem is, is that we don't have the luxury of waiting for him to figure out how to be decent, because your health is injured every time we don't use your insulin. Like to me that's the message. I don't know. Like,

Christina 48:07 you know, I'm really trying to find so with her. She's kind of my, maybe my toughest one has always been she's the firstborn. Like all of those firstborn things. She does. You know, she's always right. Well, she thinks she is she, I go to all these like, like chaperone things, you know. And so I see how she interacts with peers. Yeah, and she really isn't insecure. It really just comes to diabetes. Because, like, there we were, we were at this. And where I'm going with this is like, I don't think she's gonna mind. If I tell her, you know what, and all of those people that make you embarrass you, because she is the type of kid we're at this camp. And at this outdoor camp, and there is this camp leader, that kind of a lot of the kids didn't really like, because she was bossy and not very nice. And she's sitting there doing a stem activity with some of her peer, you know, classmates. And they're doing it. And this one girl just keeps telling her what to do. And she keeps telling the group what to do. And she goes, Oh, you sound like that girl. And I was like, totally. She's like, what she sounds like her she's bossing all of us around. And so she's not one to not say something, ya know, like when she feels like it, you

Scott Benner 49:48 should empower honestly but like don't turn it into like a but

Christina 49:54 so that's why I'm telling you that because, like sometimes I worry about that, because in that moment, she's not afraid to do that. But it's just where where do I get her to be that way about her diabetes? So

Scott Benner 50:09 you're I think you're overthinking it. Is she a good kid? Yeah, okay, well, what's, what's more likely than not taking care of her blood sugar is gonna cause her health concerns or that she's going to turn into an animal?

Christina 50:24 I think I'm overthinking it. In that moment, I would say like, Yeah, but, but but she could be if I if I tell her to go this route. So

Scott Benner 50:33 I'm gonna be honest with you, if it was 1978. And this was happening, and it happened to me. My father, or mother or your father or mother would have like gone to this person's house and said, Hey, your son said something to my daughter, tell him to apologize. And then you would have explained it to the parents, the parents would have whacked the kid on the side of the head said apologize to that girl. And then that would have been the right. And if it would have went the other way. My father would have reached through the door, grabbed his father banged his head off the door jamb, and then made the kid apologize. And I don't think any of that's right. But that is what would have happened back then. Right. And nobody sat around trying to pre plan people's thoughts. Like, like, I think, like, You're younger than me, right? How old are you?

Christina 51:20 I'm 38. Yeah,

Scott Benner 51:22 yeah, you're you're a generation or so behind me and parenting, like, I'm going to tell you the God's honest truth. You're not in charge of much as much of the direction of your children as you think you are. Right? Yeah. Like you're not going to be able to get her exactly to where you imagine her being. And the truth is that she's different than you. So even the roadmap, you're going to lay out as a good route. Basically, you're parenting your daughter the way you wish somebody would have parented you. I'm doing the same thing, by the way. Well, like but it's but mostly I'm not right. Mostly because, like it works better for Arden than it does for coal. Because coal is more like Kelly and Arden's more like me. So art in response to how I think, quicker. And Cole is more like, What are you talking about? But he's smart enough to listen, and he takes the cold, cold cherry picks from my parenting. He loves me, I watch him, listen to me. And he'll say, What Why did you? Why did you say that? And I'll tell them my thinking, and he'll go, okay, that makes sense. And then I'll see him adapt it, like to his personality. But I'll also say things where he'll be like, that doesn't make any sense to him, and he will just ignore me. Whereas everything I say to Arden makes sense. Because she and I are like, we're like the same person. So like, so I say some if I would just say, if I were to say him to my son, my son might be well gone. I don't know about that. Let me think it through or Arden would just be like, Yeah, let's roll that to be like, You know what I mean, and even now, she's getting older. She's like, I don't know if this old man knows what he's talking about. So just, you're not. You're so the I don't mean you, we all of us. I think we've made this assumption over the last couple of generations that we are somehow just 75,000 Great Decisions away from making a perfect child. And it's not gonna happen like that, like so I go, I go with, you know, have good intentions. Be a good person. Don't lie to people, if you can help it, treat people the way you want to be treated.

Christina 53:32 It's a basically a way you can help it. Yeah, well

Scott Benner 53:35 listen to me, you pull me over and say, Hey, why are you driving so fast? I am gonna start lying in circles, just so you know. Because I want to get out of a ticket. But, you know, if my wife asks me a hard question, I'm not gonna lie to her. And by the way, that's been told to me is not nice. I've had I've had people say to me, like, well just say what they want to hear. And I'm like, I find that insulting. Right? Like, so if I love you or care about you, I'm going to be very honest with you. If I don't care about you, I'd be happy to lie to you to make you happy. But I will I won't lie to my wife. Even if it would make even if it would make her day better. Like yeah, and there and I wrestle with that sometimes. Like I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. It's just it's the way it occurs to me. So anyway, and

Christina 54:30 what what even is the right thing, right? Yeah, that is her Yeah, I think we're doing the right thing.

Scott Benner 54:35 Yeah. But is her being happy the right thing? Or is or is her understanding the honesty of the moment the right thing?

Unknown Speaker 54:43 Hmm.

Christina 54:45 I think lying to make someone happy is a good in the moment thing, you know, things are great. And maybe it'll never catch up. Right? But if you continue to do little ones here and there, it's gonna catch up. And then in the long run, it's not better.

Scott Benner 55:09 I have. The other thing I find is that people are generally lying to themselves. And then they're asked, Oh, yeah, that's a big thing. And they're asking you to go along with a lie. And it's uncomfortable for them if you don't, so that's what I mean by you're lying to them to make them feel better. Right? And I, I'm not using my wife for any like, big reason other than we've just got a long history together and like, it's, you know, it's come up to where she's, you know, but I don't know if you're, if you're, if you're, if your friend is 300 pounds overweight and ordered two pizzas for themselves and said, It's healthy, right? cheeses, milk, and you go Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah. Like, that's the situation where I'm like, if you really cared, wouldn't you go, Hey, like, no, yeah, like pizzas not healthy. You know, like, and I love you. And please don't eat two pizzas. Like, like, you know, and that's gonna go poorly. They're going to be upset by that. And, and then it's, so that's the question for me is like, do you what, what do you do in those situations? And I think it's, it's case by case and going back to your dorm. I've said this on the podcast for years, I've written about this, when I used to blog about it. I don't care about anything as much as I care about my daughter's health. So right, these, this conversation you and I are having is I would deal with this no differently than I dealt with a school that didn't want to do the right thing for her. A teacher that didn't want her to check her blood sugar, or anybody else who would stand in the way of my daughter having low stable blood sugars. Like, that's it like, I'm not, I don't have any. I don't have any ability to be humorous about that. Right? I just don't. And by the way, I can't wait for the kid at the high school up the street with a loud truck to graduate and get out of this town. Because every day at this time, he drives past my house and make noise. Just heard of my microphone. And I I'm gonna, I would pay him to drive down a different street if I could find him.

Christina 57:14 Because is it good music though?

Scott Benner 57:17 It's not the music. It's the truck. He's got. He's got these loud mufflers on it. And he always, by the way, if you were talking, I could just be quiet and then cut it out. But anyway, not the point. Yeah. So what are you going to do?

Christina 57:33 Um, I think I'm, you know, I'm going to use that approach. Let's see how it goes. You know,

Scott Benner 57:38 like, empower her make her Yeah, tell her there's nothing

Christina 57:41 wrong with that. And then if it doesn't work, I'm gonna go down my hippie dippie Wait, lane again, you know,

Scott Benner 57:45 you're not gonna get slapped. Get out of the kids, mom.

Christina 57:49 Well, I you know what, though, I have this, like, this is just me, I will get so mad and so frustrated. And I have so many drafts in my inbox that are to the school to different people that I'm just like, so mad about. And I'll write it up. And then I'll I'll even go as far as sending it to one of my sisters to proofread. And then, and then I'll let you know, kind of like, see what they say. They don't sleep on it. And then I won't send it. I'll be so fired up to send it and then I don't send it down. Definitely. It's just I'm definitely it's just something that I do for me to cope. Yeah, you know, maybe I just need to send an email.

Scott Benner 58:36 I don't I mean, I don't know in this in this exact situation. I don't know. I

Christina 58:40 wouldn't send an email. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was just, you know, yeah. No,

Scott Benner 58:45 I like It's like journaling. Yeah, yeah. No, I that's completely I think that's incredibly healthy. Like, is it going to go in your car and talk to yourself? I don't care what you do, just yet. Like, like, let it out. So it's gone. Yeah, but you're not gonna like meanwhile, like you can do with a 10 year old kid who says something stupid to another 10 year old kid. There's not much you're gonna do that. But I think I think the expectation that everyone's not always gonna be as kind as, as we hope to be for people. And you have to learn how to be like, resilient about that and but resilient, right? Resilient doesn't mean let someone shovel 10 pounds of your head and you walk around and smile. It means it means when you see them coming with the shovel, you walk away you don't you get away from it. You You know resiliency is almost a little bit about not being a victim. I think like you know what I mean? Because once somebody does something terrible to you, you've you're victimized at that point like it is happened to you right and then your what you're telling people is no matter how terrible this is, keep a stiff upper lip, which I mean, again, then that message is people are allowed to do terrible things to you but you're a good First and so you smile. And I don't? I don't think that's right. There's no right to me.

Christina 1:00:05 It's not right. And it I think it also is going to, you know, if we keep going the route of like, Oh, they're just an educated, like they just say even adults say silly things or stupid things or if we keep going around that route, it may becomes even more negative to her to have it. You know, yeah, because like she may even have resentment towards diabetes, because people say all the stupid stuff to her, and she doesn't stand up for herself.

Scott Benner 1:00:34 Yeah. And there's Pete, and you have to stand there and eat that sandwich over and over and over again, instead of like, oh, by the way, it's crazy as this sounds, I just put an episode up today about diabetes myths. And, you know, the first one we did is like, why people have diabetes, which is always like, you ate too much sugar. And it's there's a lot of like, personal stories and their listeners about like, things that were said to them by family members, and you know, onlookers and everything else. And like, the the explanation in that episode, is, is aimed at the people with type one, which is like, you know, yes, people are going to be ignorant, they're not going to understand some of them are just going to be stupid or bad communicators, some of them are going to be having their own pressures. And they're asking you questions, because they're scared for themselves, and you get a mask. But the end result is, you don't need to take that, like, like, you make a decision, you're either going to walk away, or you're going to educate, which is probably going to be a waste of your time. Or you or you have a stock answer in your pocket. And actually, somebody on the episode said, there's a link online, I forget what it was. But you can like hand somebody like a pre printed like PDF that has a link and says, Look, you're misinformed about diabetes, but if you want to learn more about it, go to this link, but you get away from them. Because you know, because it's not your problem to suffer other people's misunderstandings. You know, and I don't know, like, I just think, you know, I don't, I know, it sucks that your your kids see this one girl, and she seems bossy to everybody. But I bet you that I bet you that person doesn't feel like this ever. You know, you know? So? And could there be a better balance? Sure. But I'd prefer to be on the side where where I'm confident and protected. Then not feeling not confident. And, and like somebody's like, I'm now hiding who I am for somebody else. Right? I'm not into that at all. So anyway, I could. Yeah, yeah. That's what that's what it's called. Yeah, I don't know. That's, you know,

Christina 1:02:54 no, it's interesting, because for years, because this, we go to a private school. She has been with kids, since preschool, you know, now she's in sixth grade. So while we don't live in a small place, the school is kind of smaller, like, everybody knows each other. And everybody knows this kid. And for years, I've been telling her about this kid, like, you know what, because there was at one point where I heard them talk, you know, the best thing to do if you want to know about your kids, I think everybody has heard this thing, but like, just sit and drive them around and be quiet. And you can hear all kinds of stuff going on when they have friends in the car. But for years, this kid has been the topic of like, oh, you know, I've heard all of the misfortunes that have happened in his life. And they've talked about it at school, and then they talk about it in the car. And so I know I have a heart for this kid. Because maybe he's having a bad day. Yeah. But at some point, that's probably not I'm not doing a justice. She's not doing justice to him, if everybody just because he's from this. And this is why

Scott Benner 1:04:12 let me put it to you a different way and see how you feel.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:16 What if

Scott Benner 1:04:18 your daughter stops bolusing for her food, and four times a day, her blood sugar spikes up to 250? And when she's 26, she needs laser treatments to stop bleeding in her eyes. Do you care how that kid feels now?

Christina 1:04:32 Oh, no. Yeah, well, you know what's so crazy is because I listened to that episode with with the guy that had all the eye treatment. Okay. And I brought that up to her. I literally said to her, Listen, because I've done like, I'm not going to try and scare her about this. I'm not going to but finally I just got to the point where he said like, listen, I just listened to juice box and and there was this guy that had to do eye treatments for you yours because of not taking care of themselves and just being a kid, and not caring

Scott Benner 1:05:05 won't work, though she can't. Her brain can't fathom No, it can't. Yeah, by the way, so some adults brains can't fathom the future. So

Christina 1:05:13 no, I think I think you're right. And I,

Scott Benner 1:05:17 but that needs to be your motivation. I mean, like quiet right in your head, you don't need to be telling her about it, you need to be saying, This is what I'm fighting for. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not just fighting for an 11 year old to feel comfortable at school. I'm fighting so that my 11 year old doesn't turn into a 26 year old who's a one C has been 12 for 10 years. Like that, right? That's what you're fighting against. You're fighting. You're right now your daughter is at a precipice, and you're trying to stop her from slipping down a slope, that she may slide down forever, nobody can stop her. Or by the time by the time she figures it out. She's so far down the slope, it's hard to climb back up again. And to me, that's what you're that's the bigger argument here is that I'm not I'm not so much defending today. I'm defending where today leads to. Right. That's, that's, that's how I think of it I guess.

Christina 1:06:11 Yeah. And that's that. I mean, how we always should, right.

Scott Benner 1:06:15 Christina, you're very agreeable. How did this what marriage not go? Well, I don't understand.

Christina 1:06:22 Oh, if you if you want to, if you want to, like another hour, we can we can split it up. And I can tell you the whole thing.

Scott Benner 1:06:34 No, it's your business. I was just I was just joking around. Yeah. But no, I was trying to say like, I was joking, but saying like, No, I know, it was I knew of you to come on. And here's something that was so like, opposite of what you were thinking. Because you have like a very thoughtful thing typed out here about all the like, wonderful pair. Yeah, no,

Christina 1:06:51 I haven't. I haven't all lined up to I have like, Oh, and this. Like, I have one page to explain to you what ABA is. I have another that compares how I use it with my daughter who's on the spectrum and with my daughter who has type one. And then I have like all these, it. You know what, though? This, this has been a great conversation. You know, it may have even been, may have even been good. Because I I was totally going in a different direction. As far as like, you know, schools ending, I'm just gonna get her into a great routine where she doesn't mind doing it. And I'm going to expose her to being a lot of friends and doing it in front of friends. You know, I had this whole like, plan for the summer.

Scott Benner 1:07:47 I don't think that's a bad plan. But you she used to be empowered. Yeah, but you know what I mean? But like,

Christina 1:07:52 when I'm not that's the thing. When I'm with her, it's great. And she's like all about it. We kind of team up, you know, right? Because she's still 11 Yeah, right. No, of course. I know when when we go to volleyball tournaments, because she she actually plays like, at a high level. Her team qualified for junior nationals. We're going to Minneapolis, we travel all over the country. And she's like, what are the best 11 year old

Scott Benner 1:08:24 proud country proud of herself about that? Like, and yeah, it feels very confident. That's the confidence you want to give her about her health. And what it takes to be healthy. Right? Yeah, that's all. Yeah, that's why everybody listening adults, especially like, where your pumps where people can see them, please, like so little kids can see them and feel comfortable about it. And don't hide in the bathroom. When you're at a restaurant. Like just pull your syringe out, give yourself insulin, and if people don't like it, who who could possibly care. Like Like, I just, I don't understand. I mean, I just don't understand giving.

Christina 1:09:02 I think I jinxed myself, because I have this group of type one moms. And we like meet up and we'll talk about stuff. And at one of these, that meetups we're talking and I'm just saying, you know, I haven't really run into Charlie. She'll just like polar stuff out, you know, right at the table at a restaurant. Like, we're out in public and she's like, shoving it in her leg like nothing's going on. And that's why it was just so crazy to me that she went from just like, Hey, it's me, too. Like, No, I'm just normal sixth grader that nothing going on?

Scott Benner 1:09:46 Yes, the peer thing. Yeah, it's the peer thing and the boy and it could have been a girl too. By the way. It could have been a mean girl or a boy or boy that she thought was nice or whatever. Who knows. Like it just, I get it like you're You're watching a very normal child interaction. But it's just getting commingled with diabetes.

Christina 1:10:06 Oh, yeah. And it's like, the tough thing is is, and I think you've probably experienced this. Nobody gets how serious this really is. You know? Like, they just like, No, I, like she's good. They say, like, all the time. Does she need a snack? Like, I'll call out to be like, Hey, Charlie needs to, you know, correct herself. And don't be like, Oh, should we ever eat something? Right? That's, you know, that. It's like, you're frustrated. She knows what it means. Just tell her she needs to make a correction. Yeah, no, it's because we don't have a school nurse.

Scott Benner 1:10:53 Right. Very, very frustrating. And I know, but that's the thing that that's why I think she needs to understand that mostly people aren't going to aren't going to know her life. And you know, the truth is, too, if you pulled this 10 year old boy aside and said, you know, you made this comment about her blah, blah, blah. Do you know that that could make her feel badly and start a chain reaction of events that could lead to serious health conditions for her in the future? A kid wouldn't understand most of those words. But they that kid would understand enough to go, oh, I don't want that. Like, but how are you going to? You can't you just can't explain that to enough people to stop her from having those situations. So you have to give her the shield. And the right not just a shield, by the way, but like the armor. I mean, you want her? She wants to be moving forward, not just defending herself. But do you really mean like just like, she hears that crap, she should blow through it. Like, like she's breaking down a wall of styrofoam. Just boom, I don't hear it. You guys don't understand. I'm I'm clear that you're not clear. And I don't hear you and I keep going. I listen to people who have my best interest at heart and understand my situation. Other people. I don't, that don't, you know, nothing against them. But I don't I don't. I don't take time to feel what they're saying. Because it's not important. It's just, it's noise coming from nowhere. And, you know, you take it internally and it ruins days and weeks and years, your

Christina 1:12:24 life. Did Arden ever run into this?

Scott Benner 1:12:28 I mean, Arden's run into like, like mean girls before. But she's, she always works through it. i My wife was saying to me the other day, she's like, I'm so impressed with Arden's like emotional maturity. Because like she, like even had a thing at school with a boy and another girl. And, you know, like, the boy might have liked Arden first. And then Arden was like, nine, I don't think I'm interested. But then the girl kind of picked right up with him. And Arden was like, Hey, is like I thought we were closer than this. And, and like, you know that it starts that way. And then when it ends are just like, You know what, it's fine. Who cares? Like just like, if they're happy then great. Like, you know, like, I don't know how she does that. Like, I would say,

Christina 1:13:13 Yeah, that would have been like, that's a superhuman power for a college girl.

Scott Benner 1:13:17 Yeah, she's just like, it's fine. Like Kelly's Kelly could explain it better than I could. But she's just like, she's so good at. She's so good. At just seeing the bigger picture. And not taking on the parts of it that are I don't know, unimportant. The

Christina 1:13:36 it's the emotional. Inner like, Girl girls are very emotional. Yeah. And sensitive. And she it seems like she has that. You know, why is beyond her years under control. Like it's not a big deal. We always say I say to my four year old this a big deal or a little deal? Like, sure.

Scott Benner 1:13:59 Yeah, no, no.

Christina 1:13:59 Do you think you're gonna marry that guy? But it's not a big deal.

Scott Benner 1:14:04 Right? Wait, yeah, seeing the bigger picture just understanding like stepping back. It's just a macro approach to things like, Could I be mad that this girl that I am friends with? took up with a guy who liked me and blah, blah, blah, like, all that stuff. And in the end, like I even said to her at one point, it was like, What's it matter? Like, if you don't want to go out with him? What's the point? And she's like, Yeah, no, it's just very, like, you know, she still needed to talk it through a little bit. But she got she got through it pretty quickly. I don't think I'll ask her on here the next time I'm on here, but I don't think Ardens ever cared what someone's thought about her diabetes. Like she doesn't care when people joke about it. Or, you know, you hear like a late night hosts make a joke about diabetes. Like I don't even I don't even think that. I don't even think she hears that. Like I just don't think she she cares about that at all. Yeah, so

Christina 1:14:55 I don't know. You know, and maybe it's a That's all she knows. You know, her body has only known being poked?

Scott Benner 1:15:05 Well, yeah, she wasn't she wasn't like she didn't grow to 10 without diabetes. And then suddenly people are like, Oh, my God, what's going on with you? But I mean, it doesn't mean that people haven't been like, what's that she just had, I'll have her tell her story. But she just had a situation in college, where she's wearing her pod. And like, this will be horrifying for some people to hear. But her, her professor came up to her and points to it and goes, and the professor like, she can do it better than me, but the professor's like British. So she's like, she came up to me and she's like, she's like, A, then what's wrong? What's wrong with you a, and she like points to the garden can do the whole thing. And she points to the pump. And Arden goes, I have diabetes, and I need insulin from this. And a woman's like, a woman's like, all right, and then walks away from her. And art and like, she's like, when I talked to her, she goes, you want to hear something hilarious? And I'm like, Sure. And then she tells me the story about the teacher. Right? Like, I know, plenty of people who would turtle up over that. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's to me, like, look, everybody's got their, their line, right. But for most people, that's just a decision you get to make like, some people have psychological issues that would, would make it it's not just an issue, it's just not a decision for them. But a lot of people, you can choose to be upset or not be upset, right? You know, and like, I don't know that. Have you ever been in a conversation with somebody? And like, I watched it all the time. Online. And I'm like, oh, this person wants to be upset. Like, I don't know what they really want to be. But it's their inclination to lean into being upset. Oh, yeah. You know, and I see it every once in a while, like, you know, like I say, stupid, on this podcast all the time, like trying to be funny, or just like light hearted. Every once in a while, I'll get a letter from somebody's like, Well, you said this, and it was very upsetting to the person you were talking to. And I'm like, I'm like, wait, what? That doesn't make sense to me. And I go back and I look at the episode, I look at the person, I checked my emails. And you know what, I have an email from the person I recorded with, Oh, my God, I had such a great time. I hope everybody listening has as good a time as I did, like, but this is an unforced email that's just sent to me later. Like, it was so funny. And we got through so many things, and blah, blah, then I'll read a review of the same episode. And I'm like, Huh, that's interesting, because a person who isn't the person I interviewed has some clear thoughts about how the person I interviewed felt. But that's not how that person feels at all. So you sometimes it's just, you put it on? Like, they want to be mean, or they Yeah,

Christina 1:17:42 no, no, I know. There are people that I have a family member, we, we've seen, go on to Facebook, but after a couple drinks. You know, it's after a couple of drinks, usually. And so that's why sometimes, when did you take the time as to which that person sent it? Yeah, with a little liquid courage

Scott Benner 1:18:10 fired up as the person who manages a large online presence for people. I, for certain know that there are some things where people are just junky, and that I just ignore it and it goes away.

Christina 1:18:25 Maybe don't go on social date. That's where somebody needs to be truthful and not give them a white lie and say, you know, after a certain time, don't go on your social media,

Scott Benner 1:18:36 right? Yeah. Because then some people see that and they go, Oh, I get to be upset that that person misspoke. It's my turn. I get to be right. Here we go like that. That whole thing. And I don't know, it's just, it's just like, by the way that that example I used earlier, I was talking to a girl she's like, 23 years old. Her parents had like seven kids, right? And I said something I said something along the lines of by Your dad must have never been home like your dad must have just been that guy who like appeared every once in a while tapped him to be smacked your mom on the gas in the kitchen and walked away. And I paused that I went because you know, if you're gonna make seven kids, you got to keep it hot. And it's just such a dumb statement and clearly meaningless. And the girl like pause for a minute. And because she's the sweet kid, like she's 20, but she's 23. And then that's the other side of it. Like you can't run around going like you had a peak treat people equally. That's how I would have talked to anybody. She's 23. And by the way, she had a great time in the conversation and sent a long email about how lovely it was and how much fun she had and how she hopes people appreciate it and enjoy it as much as she did. But one person heard that and said, That's inappropriate. I'm like, it's inappropriate to you. It wasn't inappropriate to her. And if it was, she could have said so. And at the end of every episode, and Christina Europe out to have this experience. I'm going to shut off the recording and say to you, is there anything we spoke about today that made you uncomfortable that you don't want in the recording? Please tell me now you cannot hurt my feelings. It's absolutely fine. Oh, wow. And you'll get to answer that question just like she did. And by the way, it's not a rule, I could just delete the file. Like, I record every day if she if we would have got to the end, and that girl would have been like, hey, that thing you said 45 minutes ago about my dad smacking my mom on the butt. Like I It made me so uncomfortable. It ruined the rest of the recording for me, and I didn't know how to speak up about it. I would be like, that's fine. Let's just get rid of it. Yeah, yeah, I have no trouble with that whatsoever. Like, I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. But I also don't want to make a boring podcast that nobody listened to. And so you know, anyway, well,

Christina 1:20:51 well, it's all about expectations, right? Like, if you have an expectation of someone, like, Does this person expect you not to make jokes? If they've listened to it before? Shouldn't their expectation be, oh, he makes jokes. You know, like, every episode, there's jokes. So why are they getting disappointed? If they know that that's what they expect? You know, like, don't have these expectations of you to be, you know, buttoned up and polished. And not make jokes. Yes. When that's the type of podcast you have.

Scott Benner 1:21:30 Right? Right. It's, it's, I can't go through the whole thing. But like, it's silly and fun and poignant. Because if it's not, it's not interesting that Christina like, sound like a douchebag saying this. But this isn't the only diabetes podcast. But it is the only one that is listened to, with any frequency enough to put it on. Any kind of like Apple or Spotify list that shows you that, like, there are a lot of people listening to this. So I'm not saying that somebody else isn't out there saying something that might be really valuable for people with diabetes, they very well, maybe, but they're not there, their, their episodes are not being listened to 50 60,000 times. They're not like, you know, like, I just looked at something the other day, because I, you know, I have to stay in business to write like, I have to get advertisers and stuff like that. So I posted somewhere, you know, just looking for new advertising. And the here's what I said. It's, by the way, it's the middle of a month right now, I said so far this month, over 50,000 devices have downloaded over 290,000 episodes of this podcast, why is your company not on one of them? Right? Like that's my kind of like my pitch for that. You trust me when I tell you that if we took all the other diabetes podcasts and added up all of their downloads, you're not getting anywhere near that number. And I will tell you, it's because this isn't boring. And it's no, it's not bland, and it's not sterile. And it's it can be entertaining, and you might hear something you don't expect. Like for instance, today, a lovely woman from California came on with a lot of great ideas about how to be a good parent. And some guy who grew up in the 70s was like, why don't you just tell him to shut up? And you went, but that might not be like, I don't know if people will really hear it. But there was a minute, there was a minute in this conversation when you thought, Oh, God, I'm parenting my daughter. The way I would want to hear this not the way she would want to hear it. You Oh, yeah, you had that moment. And on any other podcasts, I would have been like, Oh, my God, ABA tell me more about it.

Christina 1:23:52 And can I tell you though, that I think that's also where you're hitting the nail on the head with the podcast is when you pull it up, all scroll, I'll pull up, pull up your podcast, like if I have a drive, and I listen, I'll go, and I'll scroll. And I was so excited that it's one you just did you know, because you know, I was all prepping and getting ready to talk to you. And I was so excited that one of your newer ones, there was a reality TV guy on there. Yeah. And I could not wait to hear about this reality show. And now I'm like, Oh, should I go? Try and watch that show? He's had nothing to do. Like you guys had great, you know, conversation. And it was a great topic. And I think everybody should, should get some some knowledge from it. But I also loved listening to the non diabetes stuff. And in this diabetes world, you kind of don't want to talk about it all the time. Oh, you were normal people too. You know,

Scott Benner 1:24:57 I could make a dry Episode of this podcast that was so factually clear, and and great for your management and all that other stuff. But I wouldn't listen to it. So if I'm not going to listen to it, how would I expect you to listen to it like, like when people, people already have enough trouble understanding their health needs, and the things that they should be doing? They don't want to listen to a pamphlet, be read to them. And no one else understands that. Like, I haven't heard a lot of other people's like content, but mostly, it's just dry. And I'm like, oh, yeah, so irritating. I would never make it through this, I'd sooner just throw myself in front of a truck. Like then. It's hard. Like I had this time, one time, I was consulting for a company. And they said, hey, you know, one of our things came up on a podcast, would you listen to it and tell me what you think? And I was like, Yeah, okay. So I'm listening. And I texted back to the person. And I was like, Where is the comment? Because I don't think I can make it through all this. This is so boring. And that person was paying me to listen to it to give them my opinion. And I was like, I can't do this. I was like, Who listens to this? I can think it's like when you watch a bad TV show, and you think, I don't think the director's mom made it through this. You know. And I just think that way about, about this like it in the end, I told somebody recently, I think my job is to trick you into taking better care of yourself. By by interlacing the things you need to know about diabetes into a conversation that doesn't feel like it's about diabetes. Right? That's all like, I mean, we talked about some really important stuff today for people who are raising kids with type one. But I said about 50 Stupid things while we were talking. But it keeps that many you know, they give us 50 I don't know. No, I actually said something. I think I'm like, cut out. What do you think of that? I was like, that might have been too far. But it makes a perfect picture to me in my head. And so like, I figured, well, that might work for other people, too. Anyway, Christina, I know what we've learned here today. You're a little too hippie dippie. I'm fine. Hey, you

Christina 1:27:20 know what, though? I've, I've been called that before. I like my oils.

Scott Benner 1:27:28 I didn't say anything like that. Maybe you should put some lavender in the diffuser and see if it fixes the hole. By the way, nothing wrong with that. They're just not going to fix anything. Like it's still Wofully you don't even we were talking about that. In one of the episodes Jenny and I. And I said like, at some point. In this episode, I am going to make fun of your diffuser. So if you can't handle it, you should stop listening now. And we had like a nice moment where Jenny's like, look, I love essential oils. And she's like, but they're not going to cure your diabetes. Right now. Yeah, it's so. And I said the same thing. I'm like, Arden tells me all the time. Like sometimes she's stressed down. She has little diffuser in her room. And she's like, it's lovely. And I'm like, yeah, it's great. I have no trouble with that in the world. I have trouble when I hear people say, you know, I forget what the example was. I used the opposite. I was like, my lumbago went away because I diffused this with this. Like that's that's not how that works. So, but anyway, you're really lovely. Thank you for your lovely to. Nobody ever calls me lovely back that you

Christina 1:28:32 are What's the word for boy? Lovely. I don't know. I'm already with lovely charming, charming charm.

Scott Benner 1:28:39 Oh, am I charming? Yeah, I was talking to a girl from South Africa the other day. And she goes, I just want to say something about your accent. And I thought I was like, Oh, here it comes. I'm like, go ahead, you know? And she's like, I love your voice. And I went oh, nevermind, go on.

Christina 1:28:57 Go I'm gonna

Scott Benner 1:28:58 go downstairs right now and tell my wife that I'm charming. And then I will. I will time how long she laughs and I'll tack that time but at the end. She'll be like, they don't know you.

Christina 1:29:12 Well, you're charming enough to have people want to come on your your podcast. And for somebody who say they like your accent or love your accent unless

Scott Benner 1:29:21 you are Christina. All right. When I get rid of my wife, I'm gonna call you up. This was by the way, I'll get a note about that. At the end. It was so creepy. He told this woman that boss Shut up.

Christina 1:29:34 Yeah, tell them to send a note to me. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:29:37 you don't understand. Sorry. If you had that thought just now. You don't understand sarcasm. That's like go go figure it out. It's a lovely way of

Christina 1:29:46 are there a new generation?

Scott Benner 1:29:48 You think so?

Christina 1:29:49 A little? Yeah, it's it's the generation and then the ones that are older that comment on things. They're just angry and bored.

Scott Benner 1:29:58 Okay, and the younger one Insert two, what are they two Tachi here and brainwashed? brainwashed. Christine up. There we go. That was the least California thing. You've said the whole time we were excellent. Yeah. Christina. Yeah. Look at me and tell the kids anything else have opinions.

Christina 1:30:17 I have other opinions about different things. It's parenting that I'm a little more gentle about.

Scott Benner 1:30:21 Oh, cool. So I could have taken you down a different road. Remember, I

Christina 1:30:25 grew up in Idaho. So we shoot things. We eat lots of me.

Scott Benner 1:30:32 Oh my gosh. Well, I think what Christina is saying is if you mess with her kids, she's going to barbecue.

Christina 1:30:38 Yeah, you just have to hit that button. I did call the boy a mother. You remember at the beginning,

Scott Benner 1:30:44 you were like that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. By the way. It's funny, because in that whole conversation, I thought that was the only time you actually connected with your kid. Really? Yeah. Like when you said that kids a mother. I thought that kid probably thought Yeah, mom is on my side. Yeah, that's how it seemed to me, like good. Like, look at her. This made her so upset. She's so upset how someone treated me that she said something out of character. And she is 100% on my side. Like that's how I think that probably made her feel. That's for me. I don't know. i

Christina 1:31:18 Yeah, it probably did. Yeah. Also, I don't think she was into it until she was like, but I don't want him to get in trouble.

Scott Benner 1:31:26 Well, you made her too nice. Yeah. The kid to get in trouble. I'm gonna question my entire life. No, just the last. I'm joking. 11 years, not the whole thing.

Christina 1:31:39 Not the whole thing. Just the last 11 years. Oh, gosh, I

Scott Benner 1:31:43 wish everyone could have senses of humor. That include thick, thick sarcasm, you guys would all have it. Yeah. So alright, guys, I appreciate this very much. Hold on one second for me. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to ask you now if I said anything that made you upset that you need to have taken out so but I want to do that privately so that you don't feel like okay, hold on. Okay. Really want to thank Cristina for coming on the show and having such an open minded conversation with me. And I'd also like to thank the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juice box. If you're enjoying the podcast, please share it with someone else who you think might also enjoy it. Subscribe in an app like Apple podcast, Spotify, Amazon, music, Stitcher, wherever you get your audio at. And of course, check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes, I think you'll like it. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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#917 Diabetes Myths: Reversing Your Diabetes

A brand new series examining the myths surrounding diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 00:00 Hello friends and welcome to episode 917 of the Juicebox Podcast. Well welcome back everybody, this is the third in the diabetes myth series. Today Jenny Smith and I are going to be talking about that old chestnut reversing your diabetes. While you're listening today. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Speaking of being bold, take care of your health better. health.com forward slash juicebox when you get therapy at my link, you'll save 10% off your first month of therapy betterhelp.com forward slash juicebox speaking of saving money, how about 35% off your entire order at cozy earth.com incredibly comfortable sheets, towels and clothing. I love it all. I'm not kidding. It's incredibly, incredibly soft and luxurious. I can't believe I'm using the word luxurious but save 35% off your order at cozy earth.com And of course athletic greens.com forward slash juice box, a free five travel packs and a year supply of vitamin D with your first order. I asked Chet GPT to write me an ad for the Omni pod five. And it tells me even puts in where I'm supposed to put music this is interesting. Here's what I'm supposed to say. This episode is brought to you by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod five insulin pump. If you're living with diabetes, managing your insulin levels is a crucial part of your daily routine. That's why Omni pod has designed the Omni pod five, a device that's transforming the way people with diabetes live their lives. But this isn't bad. I'm sorry. Back to the deep voice. The AMI pod five is a tubeless wearable insulin pump that adapts to your lifestyle. Its discreet, waterproof, and designed for ultimate comfort. The state of the art pump automatically adjusts insulin delivery based on your glucose levels and trends. taking the guesswork out of diabetes management once it's good, it should say we used with a Dexcom G six. We've oh my gosh, safety is always a priority. But it's time to experience the freedom and flexibility that comes with the Omni pod five insulin pump, visit Omni pod.com forward slash juice box to learn more and take the first step towards a better life with diabetes. That's Omni pod.com forward slash juice box make the switch Dami pod Vive and discover the difference for yourself. That's amazing. The machines are taking over people. That's pretty cool, huh? Anyway, Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox, check out the Omni pod five, if you want that algorithm with the Dexcom G six. Or if you want the Omni pod dash and you're not looking for the algorithm, you can get started with that as well. At my link, we use the links here supporting the show. Those links are available at juicebox podcast.com by typing them into a browser or in the show notes of the podcast player you're listening to now. Now let me say just write me an ad for athletic greens. Hold on a second. I might be onto something here. Alright, everybody, we are back for the third installment of the diabetes myth series. I am now artfully talking around vs at the end of the word. And Jenny has a head cold. So Jenny sounds like a waitress in a diner on the road. Nobody drives on so hi.

Unknown Speaker 03:51 I do. Yes.

Scott Benner 03:53 But she she promises me that her voice doesn't hurt. So we we press on for you, the good people who are waiting for the diabetes myth series. Today, Jenny, we are going to tackle the myth that diabetes can be reversed. So if you have type one, and you hear this to two possible things happen, either you get very angry because that's not true. Or you're newer diagnosed and you think oh maybe that is true. And then you see the people who are like, what if I just What if we just could I just eat like and then that conversation starts up. The first thing I have from from the listener here says they were told to quote just lose weight, eat healthy and exercise and that's it, their diabetes will be reversed. Where do you think that comes from?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 04:54 I think it's kind of relative to the sugar one right? If you just stop eating sugar or You got diabetes because you ate too much sugar or whatever. I think it starts with type two diabetes knowledge. Because while no diabetes is reversible, type two, if you start out managing with certain lifestyle changes, you can reverse is not the right word, you can bring your Sure, yes, you can bring your numbers down to that target range that is in the range we are all aiming for, right? The range for people without diabetes. And you can successfully keep it there for a certain amount of time potentially without any medications. That's not reversal. That's not curing your diabetes, that just really means that you're doing something to keep your numbers in a range of normal in a range where they would be without diabetes. But if you go back to your lifestyle habits, your blood sugars will go back up. And they will now be out of range. Again, we know that that's not the case with type one, obviously, is there a potentially a time period where it looks like? Well, goodness, my blood sugar's all nice and stable. Now it's soon after diagnosis. It's that what we've talked about before called the honeymoon, right? Where your needs could drastically be reduced. For some people, they may not use any Basal insulin, and they might use small doses of Bolus, it might be the opposite, where they just use a Basal insulin, and they don't have to take boluses for a while. That's not your diabetes reversing itself. Yeah,

Scott Benner 06:50 I don't I just opened up Amazon. And I typed reverse your that's all I typed in. Apparently, you can reverse your fatty liver, your diabetes, your type two diabetes, or your PCOS with Coach Nikki? So I think it's a marketing word. Yes. Yeah. And I think that it's very steeped in type two. And exactly what you just said that, and but how to, like, how do you put context to it? You know, I just recently this will seem disconnected for a second. But I have become very focused on people saying, like, Omnipod, five learns, or this causes diabetes, or blah, blah, blah, can reverse there. It's like, right church, wrong pew, kind of thinking, you know, like, you almost have it right. But you've chosen a specific word, and it makes what you're saying. Incorrect. I understand that. Yeah. I understand what you're getting at. And, and I just think that that's, I mean, obviously, again, people don't understand, but where it becomes, I mean, potentially dangerous, is when you get it into the head of somebody who has type one diabetes, specifically. Correct. Because here's from another listener, I almost died in decay. My expert Father said something clearly went wrong on your end, and then sent her a ton of videos about reversing diabetes. Yes, you know,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 08:22 well, there are you know, in this it's a, it's a painful thing to see. But it not too long ago. I mean, in the past, probably 15 years, I've seen several kids who were diagnosed and their parents went about it in terms of prayer. Right? If I pray enough, if I do this, it will go away. And clearly that did not end well.

Scott Benner 08:47 I've been around this space long enough that I can tell you that about every four years, some poor kid dies because somebody tries to cure their diabetes with religion. I've seen it over and over again. Well, well, here's a great example of what I was talking about about marketing. This person says, I was told that type one diabetes might be reversible through chiropractic care. Not surprisingly, she was told this by the spouse of anybody want to guess? Chiropractor? Yeah, it was a chiropractors wife who said, You know what, what might get this for you? And there's a lady who's got a car payment. I respect her. She's like, Let's go let him yank on your head a little bit. See if your pancreas starts working again. Nice idea, but you know, not gonna work. But, again, I think it's the it's the reverse thing. Like yes, you can, you can your body, you know, speaking specifically about type two diabetes. If you start becoming pre diabetic, your body can't keep up with the need and your your blood sugars are rising. And if you can about certain foods, you very well may see a decrease in that, like you're taking the the fight away. Like you know it's you know right now your body is one person and pre diabetes is 100 army men come on over the hill, and then suddenly you tell 90 of those army men not to attack you and you're like, Oh, well, it turns out I can fight off 10 of them. I just can't fight off. 100 Awesome, right. So when they say reverse, they mean, you know, stop doing the things that make your body that make your body

Unknown Speaker 10:36 able to keep up on its own?

Scott Benner 10:37 Yeah, yeah, that I almost wanted to say that reveal the fact that your body's gonna have a tough time fighting off the way you've been eating prior to this. And right. Yeah, so I mean, and then it just gets, it just gets translated over to type one because they don't hear type one, they hear diabetes. And yes, we're off to the races. I'm only I think

Jennifer Smith, CDE 10:59 that's where a lot of I think that's honestly where a lot of the myths that we'll go through. kind of come from Yeah, it's what somebody knows about one side of diabetes are what they know, because they knew a friend whose mother's uncle's brother, whatever, right? And they're in it all goes back in terms of what I think is that people should just pay attention to what they're going to say before they say,

Scott Benner 11:27 Jennifer, I got a note. I got a note today that said that I walked around all day yesterday saying Zipit lock it, put it in your pocket. So you impacted somebody with the last episode. Shut up if you don't know what you're talking about. Let me see this one here. years ago, a female coworker of my husband told him that maybe her type one though, meaning the person writing this, my type one would be reversed when I got pregnant. Because pregnancy. This is a quote pregnancy causes crazy changes in your body.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:07 They should go read my book, make sure that they learn correctly. Yeah, that's Oh, that's so sad.

Scott Benner 12:15 But But do you do? Do you? I hear that. I hear it like, right. You have heard pregnant women say, I never felt better than I was pregnant. My allergies went away. Like I bought like you hear them say like stuff like that. And correct.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:29 And there are some autoimmune conditions that do. They don't reverse but they take almost a hibernation, if you will. Many people who have other things like lupus, or arthritis or other conditions that are definitely those autoimmune and there are many of them. They can take a backseat while the body is pregnant, then there are a whole bunch of physiologic reasons for that, obviously. But type one diabetes is not one of those things that gets to take a backseat to

Scott Benner 13:05 the apples to apples comparison there is if I get cancer and I'm a woman, I should just get pregnant, because that fixes that fix. Yeah, yeah. Like that's Isn't that fascinating? I mean, honestly, isn't that fascinating. By the way, the lady said she's had four babies, but she still has type one diabetes? Yes. Clearly, maybe the fifth one will be the church. She said to that I say, I think I think your uterus has had an effect. That's a lot. Keeping track of your kids. I'm always very impressed when people can handle that many children. I don't know how they do that. Okay, so now, Jenny, the real question here is I gotta wait for this kid to leave high school everyday this time, all right past my house. Now the real question is, is this a nice little 15 minute episode about the fact that you can't reverse diabetes? Or do we keep going into the next thing and couple them together? So since it's the next thing, does it fit, diabetes will disappear, stabilize or get better? But this is a longer this is a longer it's got a lot of feedback. So part of me wants to

Unknown Speaker 14:23 snip it and move on. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:26 I kind of want to make it a second one. So okay, so before we do that, I just want to go over it one more time. I have type two diabetes. I drastically changed my diet. I don't know I start exercising. I'm running up the side of mountains now with a rucksack on. I don't need any medication and my blood sugars are healthy and stable and where my doctor wants them. Do I still have type two diabetes?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:55 You still have type two diabetes. That's what it is being man imaged with the lifestyle changes you have put into action. That is what is your that's what your medication is, if you want to think about it that way, right? You are not picking up a prescription at the pharmacy. What instead, what you're doing is you're making really awesome changes to your life. And that's what's making the difference in terms of blood sugar management, getting things into that non diabetic, let's call it range. And if you reverse that, if you stop running, walking, going to the gym, eating well and choosing healthy, you know, your diabetes is going to be like beer i Oh, my God, I was just wait.

Scott Benner 15:44 You don't make type two diabetes go away. You stop, you stop the impacts of it from having poor health outcomes for yourself. That's it. All right. I think I understand that. Good. Okay. I don't know why. It's. It's interesting, but it's the word right? Again, it's the word you can reverse your diabetes, you can just lazy talking. And I

Jennifer Smith, CDE 16:07 say, Well, I think they're reverse is. It goes along with that cure. I think people think reverse and they think I'm cured. Like, I'm really That's it? I'm done. I don't ever have to worry about this again. So are you reversing having diabetes? You're bringing yourself back to a state of health where you should have probably been in we're talking about, you know, type two here, obviously. But I think reverse is such a hard word. Because it could be understood multiple different ways.

Scott Benner 16:44 Yeah. Yeah. And I think the implication is that there's not a ton of effort anymore, right? And so that's it. Because if I said, it's funny, if I said to you, you have type two diabetes, but you need insulin, and somehow I don't know, you just perfected your insulin delivery. And you literally were just your blood sugar was 96. All the time. You never got high, you never got low, and it was that way your whole life. You wouldn't say that you reverse your diabetes, you'd say you are treating your diabetes with insulin. Yes, yes. So if you do it with exercise and diet, you're treating your diabetes with exercise and diet. Yes. I'm good. I'm stopping right there. Thank you very much. You're welcome. First and foremost, we always want to thank Jennifer Jenny Smith is a lovely person who's also a CD and she works at integrated diabetes.com. If you want to hire her, that's where you go. Let's also thank the pod makers of the Omni pod five and the Omni pod dash for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and so many others. They're a great supporter. The podcast is supported by a ton of great sponsors, you can find all of them at juicebox podcast.com, or in the shownotes of the audio app you're listening in right now. When you use those links, when you click on them, or type them into a browser, you are supporting the production of this podcast. I cannot thank you enough for doing that. If you're looking for community around your diabetes, check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. On Facebook, it's a private group with about 40,000 people in it. Actually, most of the stuff that's in the diabetes myth series is from the people in that group listeners just like you. If you're enjoying the podcast, please share it with someone else who you think might also enjoy it. And please, if you're listening, but not subscribed, hit the subscribe or follow button in your audio app like Amazon music, Apple podcasts, Spotify, something like that. It really helps the show. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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#916 You've Got The Right

Michelle's son has type 1 diabetes and Michelle is an HR professional here to talk about FMLA, Leave of Absense, Americans with Disabilities Act, Insurance & emplyee resources.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 00:00 Hello friends, and welcome to episode 916 of the Juicebox Podcast. Welcome back everybody on today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast I'm going to be speaking with Michelle. Michelle is the mother of a child with type one diabetes, but she's also an HR professional. Today we're going to talk about FMLA leave of absence, the Americans with Disabilities Act for adults, insurance, employee resources, and so much more. Do not miss it. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. Hey, would you like to save 35% off your entire order at cozy earth.com? Well, if you're looking for great sheets or clothing, you might and you can do that by using the offer code juice box at checkout. Cozy earth.com juice box at checkout saves 35% If you sign up for therapy@betterhelp.com forward slash juice box, you'll save 10% On your first month of therapy. And when you use my link athletic greens.com forward slash juice box, you'll get five free travel packs and a year supply of vitamin D with your first order athletic greens.com forward slash juice box. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six and Dexcom G seven continuous glucose monitoring systems. Honestly, if you have diabetes, you really want to look at it Dexcom dexcom.com, forward slash juicebox. The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored and supported by a number of great companies, all of them are listed in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now. And at juicebox podcast.com. When you click on those links or type them into a browser, you are supporting the production of the podcast and keeping it free for everyone. And today's sponsor, of course is Dexcom who you can reach@dexcom.com forward slash juice box.

Michelle Mata 02:17 My name is Michelle Mata. I am an HR learning and development professional. And I am also the parent of a child with type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 02:27 And HR Say that again. HR learning,

Michelle Mata 02:32 HR and learning and development professional

Scott Benner 02:34 learning and development. Yes. All right. What does that mean?

Michelle Mata 02:40 So if we look at it from the HR management side, it's the part that deals a compensation recruitment, employee relations, all the policy and administration type things that people deal with on the daily at work. And when we look at HR development, it's the training and development of employees, strategic planning, organizational development, change management, all the things that help people get better at what they do, or help the organization move forward, especially in times of change.

Scott Benner 03:14 Do you what is learning? Is that not the same thing? Is learning when you pull them into a room and you scold them and you're like like and severance. Did you ever watch severance on Apple? Plus, I've got yet Alright, well, then you're not gonna get this reference. But do you torture people until they do what they're supposed to do? Like, this is what I think learning means.

Michelle Mata 03:35 I try not to I try to make it fun. I try to make it less mundane, in what I do. So in what I do now is I do a lot of ELearning Development. So actually the Omni pod courses that all of us are having to take right now for the Omni pod five, I build a lot of those type of things.

Scott Benner 03:54 Okay. Oh, I see. Yeah. Do you direct courses? Or do people do that on their own time by themselves normally.

Michelle Mata 04:03 If it's an elearning people typically take it on their own. But sometimes I've also developed courses where we call it like a hybrid or flipped learning where they've got to do some of it online. But then they come into a classroom or virtual space and apply what they learned or use it in case scenarios, things like that.

Scott Benner 04:24 What do you think the the, the percentage breakdown is on, on materials like that, that are given to employees that are meant to actually like help them with their job versus are meant to safeguard the company from legal action later, like, like I've seen my wife take some of these words, just it's common sense about like how to treat people at work, for example. And then I always think I'm like, Oh, the company gives this not because they want you not to treat people poorly, although I hope that I assume they hope that you don't. But in case that you do, they can go hey, this isn't our All we told her in the training, is that part of it, too.

Michelle Mata 05:03 That is part of it. There's this thing called vicarious liability. And so basically, it's on the company to train the employee to say that I've trained you on this. So the liability is now off of us, sort of, and now on the employee to be able to do the right thing. But if they train everybody and forget two random people over here, then they're still liable for the actions of those two random people because they never train them. And then it even goes down the road of is that a training issue? Or is it a performance issue? Do they know what to do? But are they just not doing it?

Scott Benner 05:41 Oh, okay. Lazy. You're saying shiftless. Yes. And so this is interesting. Michelle, do you mind me asking you questions about your job like this?

Michelle Mata 05:52 In generalities? Yes, good.

Scott Benner 05:53 I'll stay. I'll stay General. People. So I'm a hard working person, I married a hardworking person. And I get up in the morning, I do my job, like, and I do it. Like, I don't have like a baseball game on and another monitor, I'm not, you know, talking to somebody on the phone while I'm working, that kind of stuff. And it is my intention to get my work done. I watched my wife work the same way. But I have a feeling that some people are not as driven. And is that more difficult to manage now that people are so remote? Or is there a way to manage it? I'm interested in in what happened through COVID? I mean, because you can walk past a cube and see somebody asleep on their hand, right? But sure, how do you see it at work at home,

Michelle Mata 06:38 I want to go back to it depends on the person. So pre COVID, everybody was in the workplace, for the most part, except for companies that were already ahead of the curve and had people remote. But for those that were working in brick and mortar places, if you were having a bad day, it was pretty much on display for everybody to know. And when COVID happened, and that whole transition to remote work started happening, some people became more productive, because they didn't have to walk down the hall and say hello to 20 people that they were going to pass by with small talk, because they could focus on what they needed to focus on at work. But then you have others who thrive on that interaction, and need it and needed to bounce ideas off of each other. And so it's actually affected their productivity negatively. So I don't want to say in a blanket statement, you know, it's good or bad. It just depends on the type of person and what drives them internally.

Scott Benner 07:39 That's interesting. Is there a percentage of new hires you expect to lose?

Michelle Mata 07:47 So let me preface this by saying I'm not currently in an HR department, but I do support HR training. My past life has been in HR roles. And this is actually the first role where I'm not in an HR department. So this is a little different, right? As far as people we tend to lose at the start. So HR departments have they're doing the right thing. They're checking with new employees that 30 day, 60 day, 90 day, six month mark, even the year mark, and trying to figure out, is this person happy? Are they getting the resources they need in order to do a great job? And you know, just overall, is there a sense of worth also being fulfilled when they're at this job? And if it's not, well, can we move them to a role that might be better for them?

Scott Benner 08:38 Because you like the person on the onset, you think you have a good quality person, and then you put them into a setting and it's not quite right for them, you don't want to lose the person. So you have to find the thing that they're better at that maybe you still have somewhere else that needs to be filled? Is that kind of

Michelle Mata 08:54 exactly. And it may not even be the person it might be that that person and their manager are just not a good fit for each other. I've seen that happen at times.

Scott Benner 09:02 Yeah. How does it how, how is it that the qualities, this is generalization? The qualities that make a good employee are very infrequently the qualities that get you into management?

Michelle Mata 09:17 Does that make more time?

Scott Benner 09:19 How come? How come? How come we've all worked for a manager where we're like, how did this person get this job and why is it not bill over here? Who is obviously the right person for this like, like how does that happen? Like how much networking and politics exists? When people are ladder climbing? Do you think it's a lot?

Michelle Mata 09:42 I think people who know how to politic well, right tend to get those promotions, extroverts. You tend to see a large percentage of extroverts get those promotions and people who take risk at times and are willing to say yes, you Even though it might be detrimental to the rest of the team to try to get that work done. And so I know in my experience, I've definitely tend to see a certain type of personality get promoted versus others. So I would almost agree with you there. But it's not always the case.

Scott Benner 10:18 I always wonder why the business doesn't? Well, actually, I used to wonder why the business doesn't just say, Look, I know what it looks like, person A, but it's clearly Person B. And we're just going to even though they're not going to push themselves or put themselves in a position, why don't we help them move up. But then what I noticed was that as people move up, the skills that help you move up are not always the skills that help you do the job. And then those people tend to want to surround themselves with other people who aren't, say, as good at the job as they might be. Because nobody wants to be outshine. It's sort of how the mediocrity rises. And I don't know, it is a huge generalization. I'm sure people listening are like my managers amazing. And they know everything about your business inside and out. But I've just, I don't know, I've seen it a lot. And I've seen and I'm always weirded out by the idea that, that I'm, frequently I've seen people put more effort into keeping their job than it would take to do their job in a way that would guarantee that they would stay. Does that make sense? No,

Michelle Mata 11:22 that totally makes sense. And there's a phenomenon right now called Silent leak, or quiet, quitting, that actually discusses just that it's actually a thing right now, where people are kind of doing that office space, bare minimum thing, and just doing enough to keep the jobs. There are situations though, and I've seen this in practice as well, where somebody does really well on their job. And they get pegged for the promotion. And they get promoted. And they're terrible as a manager. Yeah. But they performed well as an individual contributor. Because no, they enjoy doing, they don't have the contact that they had maybe with their salespeople, or with the students that they were working with. It just kind of depends on you know, what was their thing. And if they're things suddenly taken away from them, because they're now in this role that less than their forte, there's, they're going to have performance issues.

Scott Benner 12:15 Yeah. My wife has a great manager of people. And everyone that she's ever worked for has, you know, sent a Christmas card to my house years after they hadn't worked for any more, she gets notes all the time from people like you made my whole career. It just happened the other day, a guy contacted her through LinkedIn and said, You know, I don't know if you remember me, but 20 years ago, you on boarded me at this job at a low level, and you helped me and you helped develop me. And now I just want to share with you that I have a family and I bought a house. And I think it's all because of how you helped me to be in my career. And over and over and over again, Michelle, enough that I'm comfortable saying it out loud and being recorded saying it right, like it happens. But there are times that her her superiors, will say one thing and then do another and this isn't at the company she's with now, but I've seen frequently in the past, they get you in a room and they say, look, build good relationships with your employees, they say all the right things. And then when you do those things, they pull you into a room and it's more like just crack the whip. Like just who cares if they're happy? Like it, like what gets said publicly is not how it gets managed sometimes, and I don't think my wife has that self promoting in her. So she's, she's learning that still in her late 40s. But she just likes to do a good job and help people to do a good job too. But anyway, I've just, this is fascinating to me. We should probably dial this in the diabetes at some point. Tell me a little bit about that. Your child has type one how many kids you have? I have one perfect stop there. It's great. College is expensive. And how old

Michelle Mata 14:00 and he is five years old. And he was diagnosed just before his fourth birthday.

Scott Benner 14:05 Oh, this is just a little over a year then.

Michelle Mata 14:07 We're a little over a year in

Scott Benner 14:09 okay. Did I by the chance just joke about not having more children and you're pregnant? I apologize if I did.

Michelle Mata 14:14 So surprisingly, I'm not okay. And if we go that direction, it's going to be because we would be adopting a second child. So my son, Ben is his name, man. Ben's adopted.

Scott Benner 14:27 Ben is adopted. Yes. Oh, my dad's name was Ben.

Michelle Mata 14:31 Actually the name actually,

Scott Benner 14:33 you want to hear something bizarre. I don't. I've definitely never said this before. My last name is Benner. My dad's name has not been that was his nickname. And then the first question is, why would someone give you a nickname? That's the same as your last name. I don't understand that. But here's why my father's nickname was Ben. Oh, this is hilarious. I noticed that this out loud before. My dad's real name was Laverne and he was a big straw Long kind of hulking guy whose name was Laverne. I don't think he enjoyed it. So he took a nickname. But my grandmother would call him that all the time, which would freak me out because no one called him that. And then then my little tiny grandmother would walk by and be like, Laverne come here, I'd be like, who she talking to? But then so much better. So much better. Okay, so you, you

Michelle Mata 15:25 sounds like a Marvel character, Ben banner.

Scott Benner 15:27 It does write all that alliteration. And you know, yes, yeah. Anyway, he was a mostly decent person. You so you adopted, because this was I'm sorry, this is too personal. You weren't able to have children or you just always wanted to adopt? Or how did that work out?

Michelle Mata 15:47 It was always in the cards. So my husband and I were both adopted by Ken, when we were young. And we were raised by our grandparents, in a very loving environment. And just because of our past, it was always part of our future.

Scott Benner 16:04 So that's very nice.

Michelle Mata 16:06 Do you notice how he led to Ben,

Scott Benner 16:07 do you know I'm adopted?

Michelle Mata 16:10 I didn't know. Oh,

Scott Benner 16:11 I there was so much silence on like, I thought you were like, Oh, is he being sarcastic about my adoption? Because no, no, I've tried to

Michelle Mata 16:17 remember. Listen to so many of your podcasts and like, Did I miss something?

Scott Benner 16:21 You did? I was adopted as an infant. So by by liver Hernan my mom yeah, it's, it's a it's a wonderful thing to do. Okay, so you and by the way, what part of the country you're from because you said you were adopted by kin. I'm in the South. I was gonna say, that is not a word that is used frequently where I live. But you just you just ripped out Ken Like, it was nothing. I was like, she's so. Okay. All right. So adopted Ben. Four years later diabetes. So obviously, you didn't know that it was coming or have any idea about it? Were you able to get into his record? Is there anything to learn more about that?

Michelle Mata 17:02 No, we have very limited knowledge on his background.

Scott Benner 17:05 Okay. Okay. All right. So that's the new thing. So you don't know if there's other autoimmune in his past? Had does he have anything else that's totally immune?

Michelle Mata 17:15 Not that we're aware of. That's autoimmune. But he does have sensory processing disorder. And in him that manifests looking like ADHD. And then he also has a unilateral hearing loss. So he was a hearing aid. And one year,

Scott Benner 17:30 oh, my gosh, you knew all this when he was when he was born.

Michelle Mata 17:34 We knew about the hearing loss. We got the diagnosis, of course, for diabetes years later. And for the sensory processing, we actually got that diagnosis a week before he was diagnosed with diabetes. And that's what actually led me to contacting the pediatrician about the possible type one diagnosis

Scott Benner 17:54 now, Michelle, wait to use up your copay. You're over what is that called? your out of pocket all in one week?

Michelle Mata 18:01 No kidding. I guess we were due.

Scott Benner 18:05 I'm interested in what it's like to deal with and help him learn and grow with the hearing.

Michelle Mata 18:12 We jumped on that quickly. We're blessed to be in an environment where we had access to a nonprofit that gave us a loaner hearing aid. So he's had access to hearing aid. When he became eligible around seven or eight months, I think was eight months he was wearing a hearing aid. And so we've worked really hard to make sure he had speech therapy to make up for the lack of sound that he didn't have in the first couple of months of his life. And if you met him now, and if he didn't have his hearing aid on, you would never imagine that he had hearing loss, because he will talk your ear off.

Scott Benner 18:51 Does he read lips? No, no. Does he know any sign language?

Michelle Mata 18:57 He knows well, he's no little more when he was younger, he could tell you more and all dead now.

Scott Benner 19:04 Because he doesn't. So because of the hearing aids, it's sort of like a skill he doesn't need

Michelle Mata 19:09 yes and no. So there's times where he'll take the hearing, hearing aid off because he's got audio fatigue. The sound for the hearing aid, there's this little device that we're able to use to to mimic what he hears. And actually the sound that you heard earlier, hearing through a tin can kind of mimics that except add some robotic elements to that. And that's kind of what it is. And so after, after so many hours, he decides he wants to take it off and just kind of give his mind to rest.

Scott Benner 19:40 That's interesting. That's really interesting. Okay, and is that both years? I'm sorry, just one year. And then the sensory stuff. Is that like, autism spectrum or how does that work?

Michelle Mata 19:55 We're going to be diving into that in the next few months to find out.

Scott Benner 19:58 Okay, how did it go? isn't

Michelle Mata 20:01 like ADHD, he's impulsive, and he's hyper. And he, he's really into Sonic the Hedgehog right now. And that is a great description of his personality.

Scott Benner 20:14 Just balls up and, and runs forward spinning in a circle.

Michelle Mata 20:19 Gotta go fast.

Scott Benner 20:21 Okay, so that's how you saw that. diabetes presents, how and how do you figure it out?

Michelle Mata 20:29 So his diabetes? I don't know, it's diabetes. You know? What was that?

Scott Benner 20:37 Like? What's the first thing that made you say, hey, something's wrong.

Michelle Mata 20:42 Okay, so So being in the south, and being that we were in the potty training aid area, we didn't realize the first two signs were actually signs. The first one was the bedwetting but we are potty training. So you know, what, three year old doesn't wet the bed. And then we're in the south, and who doesn't drink an excessive amount of water because it's hot all the time, usually nine to 10 months out of the year. So we didn't really think much about those two. What really kind of started setting us off is when closer towards his diagnosis. We started getting reports at daycare that he was getting fatigued. So we didn't know why. And when we had taken him to the doctor the week before, for the sensory processing diagnosis, I noticed that he had lost weight. And so I didn't really understand why because he was eating everything under the sun. But then I started pressing him more about that and asking questions. And he mentioned that his stomach hurt. So that day, we caught the pediatrician said we need to make an appointment. They said come on the next day. And and sure enough, they it was going to be type one. And they didn't tell us right then in there that it was type one what they told us was we call it the hospital. We've already talked to the ER doctor, they're waiting for you. But you've got to go right now.

Scott Benner 22:10 Great, okay, thanks. Because the stomach hurt? What did you think when his stomach hurt?

Michelle Mata 22:18 That is what wanted me to call immediately to the pediatrician. So my husband actually picked figured it out quicker than I did. We both come from families that have type two diabetes. So he kind of clued into that and thought, okay, the weight loss, and you know, all these all these five things together. Yeah. Made sense on diabetes. And that's, that's why we made the call.

Scott Benner 22:43 Okay. Well, it's excellent, good job. And that's about a year ago. So he leaves the hospital with what kind of gear

Michelle Mata 22:52 needles,

Scott Benner 22:53 just like regular syringes,

Michelle Mata 22:55 just regular syringes and lancets and a meter. And a meter.

Scott Benner 23:00 It's like you got diagnosed when, when Arvind was diagnosed? And then how do you like, why do you know about the podcast, like what leads you to try to find other things out?

Michelle Mata 23:13 So the moment that he got diagnosed, of course, we're staying in the hospital. And my husband and I start deep diving into everything. And he finds podcast, I think maybe within a day or two. And so we start reading, and reading and reading. And I just finished up a graduate degree a couple of months before. And I start diving into this, just like I would have studied for any of my courses. And so we're learning everything. And anything we can to figure out what does type one mean? Because we already know what type two means. But this is so different than that. And so, one of the resources that came up was your podcast. Wow.

Scott Benner 23:54 That's cool. I was just thinking, I mean, how old are you? Michelle? You look like you're 34 for some reason. I'll say thank you. Is that not? Is that not the case?

Michelle Mata 24:07 That is not the case. But I will take it,

Scott Benner 24:09 I think you're not gonna answer.

Michelle Mata 24:12 But I'm an older parent. Okay.

Scott Benner 24:14 All right. But so your life prior to this, would you describe it as fairly smooth flowing?

Michelle Mata 24:22 Um, as smooth as it can be? Yeah. Yeah.

Scott Benner 24:25 It's just, um, it's, I'm struck by the fact that you adopted a baby, which was lovely. And you took a baby that you knew had, you know, a medical issue to begin with, which is even more lovely. And then so many things have happened in the past year or so. That? I don't know. It seems to me, like it could feel unfair to you. And you don't come off that way. So I think that's really great. I was wondering, how you how you find yourself thinking about it when one thing After another goes, not the way you expect.

Michelle Mata 25:03 You know, we know his situation. And had he remained in that original situation. And as not adopting him, he wouldn't have had all the resources that we would he would have now to be able to thrive. I don't think he would have had access to sound as early as we gave it to him. I don't think that the sensory processing would have been seen, the way that we look at it in the sense that, okay, we this is a condition, and we need to find the tools and the resources and therapists to be able to help them with it. And then even the diabetes, how do we manage it in a way that allows him to be able to have a good childhood? Because when his numbers are out of range, that intensifies, is his impulsivity and his hyper activeness? Okay, yeah. And so I mean, I won't lie, there's challenging days, there are days that we are flat out exhausted. Because he's like a solar powered Energizer Bunny, that just never turns off until he goes to sleep. But at the same time, we also know that, you know, he's in our life, we 100% committed to making sure that he had a great life.

Scott Benner 26:12 How long? This is my last question about you and your family size, and I want to get into your profession and how the things you understand will help people living with IBD. So so you're adopted, so you know what that feels like your husband's adopted, he knows what that feels like. So my question for you is, and this is basically I think, a question I wish I would have asked my mom years ago, does he feel like your son yet? Or does it take time? Was it immediate? Is it a growing thing? Are you having trouble with it?

Michelle Mata 26:44 I think, for my husband and I, he's always felt like our son, we brought him home from the hospital. So at least we've known him since, you know, since he was an infant. And for him, we we've had the discussion already that he's adopted, and we talked about his adopted, and that even our dogs adopted, and he still sees us as mom and dad, he doesn't see that as anything different just yet. He may later on, I'm pretty sure he will. But at the moment, where Mom and Dad

Scott Benner 27:15 Yeah, I never thought about that way. I never considered that my parents who raised me aren't my parents didn't, it never struck me that way. But I've known a number of adopted people, and they always seem to just fall on one side of it either. Hey, these are my parents, and I don't care that they didn't give birth to me. Or the other side of it is I think people were sometimes burdened by it as they're growing up. And anyway, I just want to know how you felt, but that's definitely wonderful.

Michelle Mata 27:43 No, sure. And I've seen both sides of that, especially in the adoption forums. Just depending on which one you're in, tend to lean more towards a certain way. Yeah.

Scott Benner 27:55 I just always imagine when I was messing up as a kid that somebody must have been looking at me and thinking, that's not even my kid. Why am I going through all this? Let's give it back. Just speaking about me specifically. So okay, so you reached out for a great reason you and I'm gonna list some of the things you put in your note that we could talk about family medical leave, which people might notice FMLA leave of absence, reasonable accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act for adults with type one and parents and caregivers of children. So this is, I think this is amazing. So you have all this knowledge. Now you have a kid with diabetes. Let's share it with everybody else. How do you think we should attack these topics? You can make better decisions in the moment with the most accurate CGM on the market, the Dexcom G seven dexcom.com. Forward slash juicebox. My daughter just moved to the g7 from the G six and she already loves the new smaller size and ease of use. You can learn more and get started today@dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Due to recent Medicare changes, millions more people are now covered for the Dexcom CGM. The G seven is the smallest most accurate CGM system covered by Medicare and it is easy to use and to get started with no other CGM system is more affordable than the Dexcom G seven for Medicare patients. The G seven is a simple to use system it delivers real time glucose numbers to your smartphone or your smartwatch. With no finger sticks required. Effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they're headed. So you can make smarter decisions about food and activity in the moment. This amazing tool is going to help you to take better control of your diabetes dexcom.com forward slash juicebox whether you're looking for a brand new system, changing from another company, or looking to upgrade that G six dexcom.com Ford slash juice box, the new G seven comes with a refreshed app that is just a delight to use. My daughter is 19 years old, she's been using index comm for well over a decade. It is at the core of how we make decisions about insulin, food activity. All of the variables that impact diabetes, check it out@dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player, and links at juicebox podcast.com. To Dexcom. And all the sponsors, when you click the links, you're supporting the podcast. I'm sure you know better than I do.

Michelle Mata 30:43 So I kind of made a checklist because I had to get my frame of reference back into making sure that I am noting the law appropriately or at least the the requirements of it. And so let's start with FMLA for a second. Okay. Okay, so most people no FMLA, people who are working with a covered employer are eligible for FMLA. So it's not everybody. If you work for a public agency, if you work for government or local law public school, you're covered. If you work for a private sector employee that has at least 50 or more employees, for at least 20 weeks, work weeks, during the year, they're considered a covered employer. But that employer also has to have a location where the do more employers are within 75 miles of each other. And that employee has to have worked for that company for 1250 hours, or roughly 25 hours a week for a year. Okay. So you're just not instantly eligible, right, you have to wait for a year. But then there's a few other things. So that's the first event. What makes it tricky is that if you're in your first year of work, you might be working for an employer that doesn't have any type of extended leave of absence policy. So I work for one employer that in addition to FMLA, if somebody was sick during the first year and didn't qualify for FMLA, they would have six months, or rather six weeks of FMLA. Light to call it, but it's a leave of absence. And so they would have to use it all at one time. So if they got into a car accident, they hadn't met a medical condition, if they were giving birth to a child, and didn't qualify for FMLA, they could take a leave of absence for that. That's a generous employer. Not all employers do that. I have definitely worked for employers that did not have this hyper provisions. There's also the thing where, and some people may not be aware of this. But if you work for a company that was a covered employer and you qualified for FMLA, left that employer and came back, you will still be covered under FMLA.

Scott Benner 33:03 You don't have to redo the 1000 some hours and all that other stuff. Exactly.

Michelle Mata 33:07 If you already have the year and you were eligible. Otherwise, you just pick up right where you left off.

Scott Benner 33:12 Okay. Yeah. So give me some examples of when people use, you know, leave or FMLA like is like injuries can it be for other people in your family.

Michelle Mata 33:24 So the law says that you can use FMLA. And I'll talk about how it applies specifically to diabetes. So most people know it for adoption or pregnancy. But in terms of diabetes, it's for the care of an immediate family member. So this includes your spouse, your child or your parent, but not your loss, who have a serious health condition. And if you have to take leave for yourself because of your serious health condition. And it can be applied in different ways. So the law is kind of vague in the way that it's applied, because every company can apply it differently. And what I mean by that is, so it gives you 12 months of eligible leave, that 12 months can be on a rolling calendar year. So let's say today is I just say hypothetically, just so I can be able to think of dates. So let's say that today is hypothetically April 16. So your leave day would start today, and would end April 15 2023. That's a rolling calendar year it moves every day. Some apply it based on the calendar year, and some apply it based on the fiscal year. But what I've seen more common than anything else is a rolling calendar year. And the way that I tell people to think about FMLA is kind like a pizza. You might take a slice that you need for yourself, you might take a slice that you need for your child. And then as time passes, the slices are put back or you might need a few hours here. Have pepperoni slice, to take your child over to their appointment to go get there, he wants to be checked, right? And then time passes, and that pepperoni piece is put back. But this particular pool of hours, the 12 weeks that you're eligible to take is for any FMLA related condition. So you don't get 12 for your parent, you don't get 12 for your spouse, you don't get 12 for your child, and 12 for you. It's 12 weeks for everybody.

Scott Benner 35:29 I see. Okay, so if, yeah, so my I can't, if I use a month up, because my wife is sick, I'm down to 11 months, it doesn't matter if the next time somebody gets sick, it's my child.

Michelle Mata 35:43 Well, so I say in the 12 month period, so in the 12 month period, you're allowed to take 480 hours, the 12 weeks. So if you take a month, right now you have roughly two months remaining for anything else that comes up during the year.

Scott Benner 36:02 Is it is it purposely confusing? Do you think?

Michelle Mata 36:07 I think it is. I've had to create trainings for both employees and managers on how to administer FMLA or understand it for themselves. And yeah, it can it can be really confusing. Those that use it on a regular basis. Definitely know it. Well. But I think it's intentionally confusing. unnecessarily.

Scott Benner 36:29 Yeah, I think that about medical insurance, so I think they don't want you to use it. So they make it hard to use.

Michelle Mata 36:35 Oh, so yeah, I have I have thoughts about that, too. Yeah. So yeah, and you know, that thing with FMLA, it can be used on short term basis. So you might only need it for a week. So in this case, if you had a parent who had a child who was newly diagnosed with type one, right, they might need it for the week or two as they're getting adjusted into this new lifestyle. Because, I mean, it's exhausting when you have the new diagnosis, and then it can be used intermittently, intermittently. For your doctor appointments here, there. Let's say that you have an episode where you've got low blood sugar, and it leaves you feeling sluggish for a few days, you know, that's a situation that you might need it. Or it might be on a long term basis, just depending on what's happening. And so we saw a lot of people needing it, you know, a COVID, for example, although that's a whole nother situation. But for long term, people typically use it when they're having a surgery or something like that. I.

Scott Benner 37:37 So I think this is wonderful, this exists. And yet I have personal perspective, where I've seen people just abused the hell out of this. And they know how to get the right doctor's note, and they know how to do things like that. And they end up taking off the summer and saying something like, I'm tired and my something hurts, you're like, okay, and then they're there, that person goes for two months, three months looks something like that, while you're busy at work. And it's um, I don't know, like, I know, you can't police everything perfectly and make sure that only the people who really deserve it are using it. But I don't know. It's, you know what I mean? It's nice to see that happen do when that's happening. Was that do employers generally know when they're being taken advantage of versus when

Michelle Mata 38:25 we start to see trends? I mean, obviously, if somebody is always taking FMLA, on a Monday and a Friday, that starts to show a pattern, or after any major holiday or Super Bowl. And then we might see situations where if there's certain things happening at work, and we noticed that the FMLA falls frequently, during those particular things at work, oh, oh, I see might start to ask questions. So there's that. But yeah, it does come down to what the doctor list on the FMLA paperwork. There, there's a set of federal paperwork that can be given to the employee, they take it to their doctor, or their doctor completes it. And based on what the doctor says on that paperwork, specifies how much leave that employee can expect to take. And then what

Scott Benner 39:21 is leave? Is it paid leave? Or is it just you can miss work without us being able to fire you?

Michelle Mata 39:28 It depends on the company. So most everywhere is it's unpaid leave, but if you have vacation time, if you have sick time, if you have general PTO bank, that company will specify how leave should be used at their company. So one place that I was at, if I remember, right, you had to use your stick time first. And then you would use any floating holidays, and then you would use vacation time.

Scott Benner 39:56 And if that was all gone, then you could dip into family medical leave.

Michelle Mata 40:02 So at one place, it was used in combination of so you could be paid while you're on FMLA. At other places, they would make you use all that before you take FMLA,

Scott Benner 40:13 which is then unpaid after you, because you've used up all your other time.

Michelle Mata 40:17 Right, right. Which leads into discussions about short term disability and long term disability.

Scott Benner 40:22 Yeah, at what point do you have to assess that and say, This is not just a short term thing, I have to protect myself in other ways, because long term disability would be covered, right? Like some percentage of your income. It Yes,

Michelle Mata 40:37 it's usually a percentage of the income, it's, it's definitely not 100%. Generally, I see anywhere from 60 to 80%, depending on what the policy is,

Scott Benner 40:45 okay. And those policies vary by state or by company or by insurance company that the company uses.

Michelle Mata 40:52 They vary by company, and they do vary per year based on the broker that that company is using. I see.

Scott Benner 40:58 Now, just just bare bones, like human interaction, in the HR department, somebody's using FMLA over and over and over again, or they're always taking leave, even if they don't even want to designate whether they actually need it or not. It's just it's being used a lot. At what point does the company say listen, I feel bad for you, but I have a job to get done here. And it's not getting done.

Michelle Mata 41:23 If they're covered under FMLA federally protected.

Scott Benner 41:26 You can't say I know that Michelle, but I'm saying in the coffee room. Yeah, we gotta get the hell out of here. Like it like, you know, like, how does that? I mean, that happens, right?

Michelle Mata 41:37 It does happen in I'm gonna say questionable companies. It's usually I call it a constructive discharge where the environment is made so intolerable, that the employee feels that they have to leave because it's just a hostile condition. So if you

Scott Benner 41:54 come back to work, if you come back from work, Becky, and now Jim is over here, and he's got your job, and you're now in charge of emptying the wastepaper baskets. They are done with you. That's kind of it.

Michelle Mata 42:08 Not quite. Okay. So you take leave. Okay, your jobs protected. But it doesn't have to be the same job. It does have to be a similar job. So if you were an account manager, but you come back and they're making you clean out wastebaskets, right. Obviously, there's gonna be some discussion.

Scott Benner 42:28 I have to say, Michelle, at the same pay, maybe I just clean out the wastepaper baskets.

Michelle Mata 42:31 I mean, if they're gonna pay you the same amount, wastebaskets may not be a bad kid.

Scott Benner 42:37 I might agree. I'm just saying that there's a human aspect of this. And there's also I mean, there really is the there is the the simple truth that there's a job needs to be done. So if you're going to be gone for six months, okay, you're federally protected, I get to hire somebody else to do this job. And when you come back, I can't afford to pay both you so something's got to give like, I think it's the difference between not that you shouldn't use it if you need it. You absolutely should. But I've just seen people turn what I think what should have been a week and a half into three months, and feel like, Oh, I'm on vacation. Now. It's all cool. I have some money saved, I'm gonna go back. And I just don't think it's reasonable to expect that people stopped being people because you're federally protected by FMLA. I don't know why.

Michelle Mata 43:22 I mean, no, I mean, there certainly are going to be people who take advantage of it. Hopefully, I'm not having to interact with those type of people. But yeah, I mean, there's definitely that human component where if somebody is given the opportunity to take advantage of a situation, they might milk it.

Scott Benner 43:38 Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. Alright, so family medical leave, we would use it for anything, my kid got diagnosed, and we're going to, I need to spend two weeks figuring this out, you know, before I go back to work, that's a great example why you might use that for diabetes. Getting to adults, though, I want to talk a lot actually, about the American with Disabilities Act. This is something that is asked in the forums about constantly, it's something I don't know enough about. And, and the way I usually see it brought up in conversation is simple. It's an adult with type one diabetes, who's gonna go to a job interview. And the first question they ask somebody is, hey, do I go into this interview and tell them I have diabetes? Or do I keep it private?

Michelle Mata 44:23 So the equal opportunity, Employment Commission EEOC is the federal agency charged with the enforcement of these type of things? And so they have a page, all related to diabetes. I'll send it to you. So you have it for the show notes. You're welcome. And so what they recommend is don't talk about it until you get the job. And even when you get the job, don't talk about it until you start your job.

Scott Benner 44:55 That's written by somebody who understands people. That's perfect.

Michelle Mata 44:58 Yeah, yes, yes. And the reason for that is, you know, even if you were in the interview, and you brought it up on your own, and said, I have type one diabetes, at that point, a professional HR Recruiter right and or hiring, the interviewer should not be asking you any other questions, aside from will this require a reasonable accommodation? That's it, that's all they should be asking. Now, if you're offered the job, and you decide to disclose it, before you start the job, they may be able to require you to take a medical exam, to find out if your condition is in a in a place where it would put them at risk. So if you're in a in a, let's say, manufacturing, let's say that you're about to take a manufacturing job, and it requires you to be on an automated line. And you know, you're constantly back and forth and back and forth. But you get confused, often, because you've been having lows for the last three to six months because of uncontrolled Beegees. Right, that could be a risk to the employer. Right? And you right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that person themselves, but let's say that the person is type one, and they're going for a law enforcement job. And they have very well controlled Beegees and have not had any major episodes in quite some time. Would that pose a risk of the employer? Probably not.

Scott Benner 46:31 So if I'm coming in, because I think the way I hear people ask the question is, is this going to stop me from getting this job? Is it going to hurt me, you know, getting the job. So the difference between what you're saying, which is, hey, just don't say anything till you're at work. But once that happens, doesn't? Doesn't the employer looking at you and go, Oh, well played? Well, or do they look at you and go, you son of a bitch? Like, like, do you don't? I mean, like, what happens? It's almost like you get married? And

Michelle Mata 47:00 I don't know. And you're like, boom, guess how much student loans

Scott Benner 47:04 threw off my wooden leg three months into our marriage? Like, how did you hide that from me the whole time? Like, you know, like, it's something that it's gonna seem big to the other person. And you, you kept it quiet, like it feels distrustful? And does the employer respond differently? Because of that, and so there's no win, right? Because if I mentioned it earlier, I might not get the job, I might taint myself in the eyes of these people. And if I wait until afterwards, I'm the person that lied to them to get the job, I think is that the, here's the rub,

Michelle Mata 47:37 your your condition, right? In this case, type one. But it could be anything. It could be migraines, it could be asthma, it could be psoriasis, it could be any condition, right? They can't hold that against you in the hiring process. It's not a condition of your employment. And it should you know, that condition shouldn't affect your ability to perform well, on the job.

Scott Benner 47:57 So I'm going to tell you a story here. Tell me because I hear what you're saying. And I appreciate your professional opinion. But one time when I was 21 years old, I was awoken by some loud knocking on a door I might have been 20. It was a rap rap app on my door. And I was asleep and I sprung up to see what happened and I opened the curtain and there stood my girlfriend who is not my wife right now, just you know, this is not a story about Kelly. And this girl is in a T shirt, no bra with a sweatshirt pullover hair going in six directions, and she's pissed. Okay, Misha, opened the door, and I go, Hey, you okay? And she says, and I'm quoting, you cheated on me in my dream. So my point is. My point is, is that you can't always count on people to be reasonable in a situation.

Michelle Mata 48:47 No, sure. And here and here's the thing, there's, I'm gonna say there's two types of HR people, right? You've got one type that went to school for it studied it has has learned, you know, all the legalities of it. For my employment law course. For example, my professor was, was an employment law attorney. All right. So you've got that grip, right? Whether they're studying it at undergraduate or graduate level and seeking certifications, then you have another group that just falls into it. And the kind of trying to figure out their way. They might know, the most recognizable laws, but they're definitely having to seek additional resources to figure out oh, well, what does this really mean? And I want to say to certain extent, HR is interesting because we're required to interpret the law without being lawyers. So it makes things really tricky at times.

Scott Benner 49:46 Yeah. I just, I'm just wondering about how often you can reasonably expect people to do what they're supposed to do without being be impacted by some. I don't know, I don't know what I'm trying to say,

Michelle Mata 50:05 No, I mean, you're gonna have some people that look at a condition and say, Oh, well, I don't want this person working on my team. I mean, this is, this is gonna

Scott Benner 50:13 affect and their response is not going to make sense that it's just gonna be like, Oh, you have diabetes like like how many people we all know this, right? Don't understand diabetes fundamentally at all it type one or type two, they definitely don't understand the difference between the two of them most of the time. And so now I'm in this, I'm in this interview, and I go, by the way, I have diabetes. And now the person interviewing me is imagining their 79 year old grandmother who has type two, or they had a friend and college that passed out all the time. And now suddenly, they're looking at me, like, Oh, this guy is gonna pass out all the time. Or, you know, he's gonna get dizzy, or this is gonna happen, and they can't ask the questions, because the ADA stops them from asking the other than what you just said, right? Well, will this require any accommodations? Right? But even if you say, Look, I'm very well managed, you know, blah, blah, blah, here's how it's gonna go, it's going to be fine, I still think they look at you and think that's both you're gonna pass out like my grandma. And you don't I mean,

Michelle Mata 51:11 yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna have some employers that get hyper cautious about it, and start taking away what's called tangible benefits. And so those are promotions, transfers, incentives, right, they start impacting you negatively at the workplace. Okay, companies get in trouble for this. So I've got a couple of examples that I pulled actually from the the EEOC, and how companies got in trouble for doing bad things to type addicts basically. And so there was one case this. And this got resolved. But it was a company that had unlawfully discriminated against two employees after they discovered through a questionnaire that their employees health conditions and medical or other learned about their employees, health conditions and medications, and learned that they had diabetes and hypertension. So that particular company had to pay $77,000, which is not enough, but then also furnish or other remedial relief, right to the people that they fired, another company had laid off and a supervisor who had been with the company for 38 years, based on having disabilities, diabetes, and kidney disease, and this person was laid off shortly after telling their employer that they would need dialysis. And then there's another one where the company got in trouble because the employee asked for a different schedule to be able to accommodate being able to stay in range better, and even had a doctor's note asking for this. And the company said, let's

Scott Benner 52:56 give you all 24 hours of every day at your house.

Michelle Mata 52:59 Pretty much. Yeah. And that constructive? discharge, right. So yeah, basically made the work environment so terrible that this employee felt that they had no other choice than to leave it. So companies do get in trouble for it.

Scott Benner 53:16 Yeah, I know. But, and I appreciate that. And that should be. And I agree with you that the number was too small, even. But my point is, is that I just want a job. I don't want to be in a lawsuit. I'm not trying to like change the world. Like you don't even want to go to work, I want to get paid. I like you to like, treat me fairly, I want to do something I enjoy. I like to go home. That's pretty much it. And and I'm trying to think about how do we tell people I guess they need to understand this side of it, so that they can understand what they're going to make available to people. Like I just wouldn't want people to believe that it's so cut and dry that it's perfect. You know, I mean, like, don't worry, you're

Michelle Mata 53:56 not, you're gonna you're gonna have even HR people, you're gonna have some HR people that are not doing the right thing.

Scott Benner 54:03 Yeah. Well, because they see their problems coming down the pike too. Like, if you come in for an interview, and you even remind me of a person I had to fire six months ago, that's gonna make me think, well, I don't want to go through this again, with you know, they said the same things in their interview or whatever. If people get biased by by all kinds of things that they see. And yep, see, you know, and I also don't like the idea of being dishonest coming through the door. But I mean, do you are you like you can't know, right? It's like a blind date. How do you know how the person is going to react when you say to them? Look, I have an insulin pump on and I might have though, we just went through this with Arden going to college. They wanted her to have a disability meeting. So we're like, Alright, so we get on the, you know, on the call with a person and it's very strange for the first couple of minutes. And then we stopped, stomp the person here. It's on Zoom, everything's on Zoom. And, and we said, Listen, we want to be clear. We don't One anything, we have no real ideas that Arden is going to need anything, we just need you to understand what this is in case something happens. I said because something is going to happen at some point. And when that does, we don't want her to be, you know, I don't know, given a given a an absence because her insulin pump fell off while she was on her way to class, she had to turn around and go back and get another one or something like that. Like, we just want you to understand that. But it's our expectation that she's never going to use any of the accommodations that we say might be necessary. And the conversation got more real after that. And it became obvious that the person who came to the meeting came to the meeting expecting to be met with let me see what I can wring out of you. Do you know what I mean? Like how many ways I can take advantage like that? They their expectation was that we were going to try to take advantage of Arden's diabetes and get Arden I don't know a puppy or something like that, you know, a pony that she could ride to class. And we were like, look, we don't want anything like we just Is it cool if we put an insulin refrigerator in our dorm room? Like it's just a little one, you know? Like, that's what we cared about. Like, could you you know, one of our classes his way across town, do you think you could find out if there's a refrigerator over there that we could keep a vial of insulin in so she doesn't have to hump insulin around with her everywhere she goes, because Arden's college is spread out over a town. And, and she was like, oh, that's all you want. Or like, yeah, she was, that's no problem. I was like, Oh, okay. So at the end of the call, I'm like, What were you expecting? And she said, Oh, you have no idea what people come on these calls asking for. And I was like, oh, and she goes in half the time. I don't think they really need them. And I was like, oh, okay, that to me seemed like the real kind of backroom dealing with that scenario. You don't I mean, I think it's why you see, adults. You know, what, one of the biggest, if you want to start an argument online about diabetes, you know what you can do Michelle, go online right now and ask for accommodations at Disney. Yes. I know that das pass. We call it the pancreas pass here. But you asked that question online. Hey, guys, I'm worried about my kid being in the heat. This is our first time going to Disney with diabetes, blah, blah. Is there a past that Bo, here's what happened next parents will come in and say, Oh, I didn't know that was something and other parents will come in and say, Oh, we've done that. Here's how you get it. And then adults with diabetes will come in and be like, You are not disabled. Stop it. Don't do this stand in line, you can blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I always wonder like, where does that come from? And I used to think it was just that they didn't that these adults who, by the way, not every adult with diabetes says this, but there's enough of them. And I'm telling you, I've seen it over and over again. I always thought oh, they just don't want to be considered disabled. Like it's a it's kind of like, you know, a headspace idea. But now, I think

Michelle Mata 57:58 I think you're right on that. Because I mean, that's that's the other argument that you could start really quickly by saying diabetes, or type one diabetes is a disability. And some people who say flat out No, it has not disabled me in any way form matter whatsoever. Right?

Scott Benner 58:11 Yeah, there's such a difference between the legal distinction between disability and what you might personally believe is a disability. And that I know people get confused, not confused. But some people are coming from one perspective, and some people are coming from another perspective when they're online. But it's funny that while you've been talking about this, I started thinking about those adults thinking, Oh, this isn't about them all the time. Just I don't want to be disabled. It's maybe it's because they've been through the hiring process. Maybe it's because in their heart, they're like, don't tell people you're disabled. And and I don't know, I think there's so many different perspectives around that argument. I just know that if you want to start an argument, just say that out loud, it gets very riled up. And so I don't know that there's an answer, right? Because you're not going to know who you're talking to.

Michelle Mata 58:59 No, I mean, here's the thing, who's to say that you don't hire somebody and three months down the line, they go skiing and have a traumatic accident, which prevents them from working for the next three months? Yeah. I mean, you never know. You never know. I

Scott Benner 59:12 would never see Michelle. I've not tried it. I'm not ending my life, crashing into a tree with my face. That's all I know, about. That's what I imagined skiing is and I will not do it. I'm sure that's not what it is. But it's too late, that skiing and sharks. That's not how I'm going out, Michelle. But yeah, but I take your point, like, you could hire a perfectly healthy person who doesn't have one problem in the entire world and they could, you know, snap their legs stepping off a step, and now they're looking for FMLA or they need a disability or they need a some sort of an accommodation. So, do you think so what would you do? You're gonna have Ben one day, and you're gonna send Ben off to a job interview. What are you going to tell him? to do, how are you going to ask him to handle it?

Michelle Mata 1:00:03 I mean, I would give him my professional recommendation, which, which would be, you don't have to disclose anything until your first day.

Scott Benner 1:00:09 Okay, that's your that's the that's what I thought you were gonna say,

Michelle Mata 1:00:13 yeah, that's gonna be my recommendation. In the meantime, though, I would recommend that somebody do their homework. So here's, you know, I think the most people that listen to your podcast know that the American diabetes Association has a page that's dedicated to reasonable accommodations. Another resource that they can use, it's called Ask Jan. And Jan stands for the job accommodation network. So you could look up accommodations that have been recommended for diabetes, or any other condition under the sun.

Scott Benner 1:00:43 Okay. And these will answer a lot of your wonder mints about how things work. how the process works in the laws work will will that make me feel good about that? Or is it more of a how to? It's more of a how to Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, less of an FAQ more of a, do these things, and this will go in your direction. Okay. Oh, that's, that's terrific. Yeah. Or

Michelle Mata 1:01:05 if you're thinking about asking this, here's, here's how it's been applied in XYZ organization, or how others have been advised to ask for it.

Scott Benner 1:01:15 Interesting. In your note to me, you said that you could also discuss employee resource groups and employee assistance programs. I've wondered what those were.

Michelle Mata 1:01:26 Okay, so, I happen to work for an employer, that is considered a best place to work for disability inclusion.

Scott Benner 1:01:37 And global, unlike the Emmys, how do you how did you get that? How does that work?

Michelle Mata 1:01:41 Sure. So if you think about, like, the Chamber of Commerce type organization, right, it's, it's a nonprofit, that's, that's similar to that, except that they focus strictly on disabilities, it's called Disability in. And every year, they have companies voluntarily go through the disability Equity Index report. And so they're rated on a number of things, it could be, you know, how they support teammates, how they support disability organizations that their teammates might refer to. If there's advocacy within the organization, just a number of different points. And so in 2020, to 415 companies participated, the organization I work for is one of them. And we scored a 90 out of 100. So next year, we're hoping for 100. And so some of the themes that they look for, and they kind of gathered as a result of this report is that accommodations are still a foundational practice. Inclusion is an emerging trend. And the sense of belonging is imperative for success at companies. So these are considered disability friendly companies. And so the other thing is that organizations that are certified disability workplaces might be eligible for certain federal grants or contracts. So they might be able to do work that other companies don't get to do.

Scott Benner 1:03:14 Oh, yeah. So when you're nice to people who have a disability is to do more things that makes them more money. I see what you're saying. Are there companies who are being nice to people with disabilities just to get contracts with things? Probably. Michelle, I always see the bad part of you. By the way, funniest thing has happened last hour, is you said E OC.

Michelle Mata 1:03:40 What does that stand for? Equal Employment Opportunity Commission?

Scott Benner 1:03:43 And all I heard was those turtles in Finding Nemo saying that they were writing the EOC. Is that what it was called? I'm gonna answer that with Whoa. It was like, I was even proud of myself for not bringing it up while you were talking. I don't know what that says. But yeah, a couple of times. I'm like, please stop using that acronym. You're breaking my brain.

Michelle Mata 1:04:11 I'm surprised that I haven't gone there yet. Because I am pretty random at times. So okay, good back on track. Okay, no, it's okay. Because I guess I don't want to forget this. So okay, in addition to disability in and you can look at the different companies that are disability friendly, and there's even a disability recruitment, Virtual Job Fair, during the year two, so things you could take a look at. A company might also have a employee resource group. And so again, the organization I work for, we have one and we have one focused on different things. There's one for women, there's one for Hispanics, one for veterans, and I'm on the advisory committee for our disability group. And so what we do is we support our teammates and their loved ones who have disabilities, through educational webinars, allowing them to write blogs, spotlighting them on social media and supporting each other through our discussion boards.

Scott Benner 1:05:17 That's interesting. And is this something that if my company doesn't have this? How would I start something like this? How would I, you know, is that something you can spearhead with, with a company to walk in HR and say, Hey, I really wish we had an employee assistance program. And here's why. And there's seven of us here have diabetes. So I think it would be great. And there's a girl over there has something going on. And there's I think there's enough of us that this would be helpful, do you think they'd be open to hearing about that?

Michelle Mata 1:05:43 I'm gonna go with it depends on the company. So I know some organizations that they're just kind of starting to look at that. And so they might start with one group, versus doing a ton of them, right. And so usually, what's happening behind the scenes is either in HR, or somewhere and leadership. They have located a dei champion, to be able to move those type of things forward. So if it's coming from the employee, yes, that does mean a lot. But it also means that you have to have somebody at the top or somebody in HR who's willing to say, this is important.

Scott Benner 1:06:19 Do you think when I guess maybe when that happens at places, maybe people know someone personally and it brings it top of mind to them? And as a thing that would be valuable to do? Is there a reef resource online? Like if I was gonna go to HR and say, Look, no pressure, but I wish you guys would check into this. Can I take them a link to something?

Michelle Mata 1:06:38 I would start with a disability and website.

Scott Benner 1:06:42 Okay. Well, you know what that is off top your head again?

Michelle Mata 1:06:46 Disability in.org?

Scott Benner 1:06:48 Yes, a billet. I see what you're done to me. Is it i n?

Michelle Mata 1:06:54 I n dot o RG?

Scott Benner 1:07:00 Hey, I spell disability, right. So proud of myself. It's Monday, disability in.org. We empower businesses to achieve disability inclusion and equality. Are you in Oh, I see the pun. Okay. So, um, so maybe I would just like drop this on somebody and be like, Could you check into this? I, it'd be great if blah, blah,

Michelle Mata 1:07:20 blah. Right. We could do this to support the employees.

Scott Benner 1:07:23 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, well, because expecting someone to do it just on their own is random. You know what I mean? Like people are busy at work. I don't think there's anybody right now in an HR office, whose head down doing the work and in the back of their mind thinking, I really do want to get that disability and thing going here, like you don't mean like, if somebody doesn't spearhead something, or bring it to light, it's hard to expect it to get started. It's funny to how much this conversation mimics the conversations about going to school as a child with diabetes. You don't mean like, like, like, heading into school, expecting people to understand. There's things they legally have to do for you. But But at the same time, some people may be great at it. And some people may not be meaning some people may be supportive, and some people may be less. So some people may see it as an annoyance while other people are happy to accommodate. It really is. I don't I don't see it as being much different to be perfectly

Michelle Mata 1:08:21 No, I mean, the reasonable accommodation process is a lot like the 504 and IEP meetings.

Scott Benner 1:08:27 Yeah, that's exactly what I was. That's how I was thinking about it. While you've been talking. Is there anything I haven't asked you or that you haven't gotten to that you think is important?

Michelle Mata 1:08:35 Um, let me let me talk about insurance benefits for a second. Yeah. Yeah. So people like getting paid? I do. Yeah. So when somebody's whether it's the parent or the individual with type one, you definitely want to consider the entire compensation package, you might hear this as total reward sometimes. And so some people might think, Oh, I'm gonna get paid buku dollars. So it doesn't matter what my insurance is, well, if you're getting paid, like booze, but your insurance plan is a high deductible plan, and you're gonna have to pay out of pocket for all your decks comms and all your Omni pods and all your insulin and everything. Until you meet that deductible. Well, how much in compensation? Are you really getting? Because your money is obviously going over there? Yeah. So So just because you get paid just because you're going to take a job that pays you a lot of money, but has a terrible, high deductible plan may not be great, especially if you have type one, right? Because because of what you're having to spend. Yeah, so I'm not I'm not saying take take the high paying job, right. It's all a balance. What I am saying is do your homework. So if you're going up for a job or you're considering changing jobs, and you're in the interview process, ass asked the recruiter for a copy of the medical insurance information once you get into once you get into that role where they're starting to Seriously, considering you for, you know, for a job. I mean, this is not every job right? If you're going for a job, if you're going for a job at the movie theaters, this is overkill.

Scott Benner 1:10:07 Yeah. Michelle's trying to stop you from in the first. What did they tell you? In your first interview? Your question is not how much does this pay? You're gonna you want to you want to get past that part.

Michelle Mata 1:10:17 Exactly, exactly. Yeah. So this medical question would come up along the question of like, Okay, what does this job pay? Ask for the the Summary of Benefits plan. This is a list that tells you like, what all the co pays are for in network out of network, what's covered what's not covered, and just kind of like a cute little summarized plan. And so you definitely want to take a look at that. So so know what your deductible is going to be. And then I remember I had post some questions out, actually on your facebook group on Reddit and a couple places. And so one of the questions that came up is, can I continue to cover my child who's in college after they turn 26? And the answer is no, because that's a provision of the Affordable Care Act, that children can be covered to 26. And once they're 27, they've got to be able to cover their own.

Scott Benner 1:11:13 Yeah, okay. Yeah, that comes up a lot. And by the way, my son just graduated from college. So it's in my head, too, that I have four more years where I can cover his health insurance. But But your point, I just want to go over it real quickly, as you're going for a job that pays $70,000 a year. Congratulations. And it's got a great insurance plan that's going to end up costing you $5,000 out of pocket for your whole family. So you're making $65,000 Or you're you know, you're making $5,000 less, but you get that same job. And somebody's like, Oh, don't worry like this take us because we pay 80 We're going to your but then you learn that they have no insurance, and you're out of pocket. Now you're 1520 grand a year for your for your medical stuff. You're better off taking the other job lower paying but the insurance. Yeah, right. Yeah. And I guess people don't think about that readily. Maybe people with diabetes do but

Michelle Mata 1:12:08 I mean, I've seen situations where and this is back in my recruiting days where people would jump ship for $1 or even 50 cents, and not consider what that meant for insurance.

Scott Benner 1:12:18 I don't understand people's brains work like that. I wish I wish I could have the same job my whole life.

Michelle Mata 1:12:24 Well, you've kind of done that for yourself. I mean, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:27 I've had two jobs. Basically, I've been somebody's parent, and I've made this podcast. The other jobs before that. I don't remember anymore. So I tend not to think about them as much. Wow. Okay. Thank you. So what? I don't want to I'm we're not done. But I really appreciate this because I I don't hear anybody talking about this, to be perfectly honest. You know,

Michelle Mata 1:12:47 no, sure. And I see this questions every once in a while. I mean, they're not always top of mind. And they're not the fun things to talk about, or they're not the annoying things to talk about. They're just the things to talk about.

Scott Benner 1:13:00 I'm the one, I'm the one on my house, Michelle, when when Kelly's like, it's time to go around insurance coverage again this year. And I'm like, Ah, I feel like a child and like, I don't want to do just take what we had last time. Why don't we have to think about this?

Michelle Mata 1:13:12 And no, it's not. I mean, this is as fun as trying to shop for home insurance or car insurance. Yeah, but But you know, for type one, I mean, this is everything

Scott Benner 1:13:21 super important. It just really Yeah.

Michelle Mata 1:13:25 So another thing that comes up,

Scott Benner 1:13:27 I'm gonna last for a moment. So please just keep talking. Okay. So

Michelle Mata 1:13:31 another thing that I see that comes up is life insurance and how people get denied for life insurance. And so one thing that they might want to find out if they do plan to leave another job is to find out if the life insurance that they have with their current employer is portable. And what that means is if they leave the organization, as long as they pay for the entire premium, the amount that they paid, and the amount that the company paid for them, they can continue to have the life insurance, because what happens when a type one applies for life insurance? You're getting denied.

Scott Benner 1:14:04 Yeah, so that happens, even if you if can that happen to me if I take a job, and the job is like, oh, it comes with life insurance, but not for you. Arden so

Michelle Mata 1:14:12 So typically, what happens is you can get a set amount of life insurance without having to go through a medical examination. Right? Right. And you can max that out. But if you want more than that, then you would have to go through the medical exam. And at that point, you could get denied because a type one diagnosis.

Scott Benner 1:14:31 And if you're not denied, there could be a larger premium for a lesser payout.

Michelle Mata 1:14:37 If you're not denied, yeah, it'll be it'll be a larger premium.

Scott Benner 1:14:40 Yeah. Okay. I have to admit, that's one of those things like we've always been lucky that my wife jobs offered some life insurance. And we talked about like, should we get more? And then it's like term and then there's other kinds and we're like, we don't know what we're talking about. And then before you know it, you're just like, I'm not doing this, because I don't know what it is. I Don't want to get ripped off, get any mean. But I would like to understand it better, but it's just I don't know, IT companies then put you on a web portal where you click through a couple things that are talking Turtles explaining diabetes to your life insurance to you. And you just think I know this. I don't know what this means, then I'm out. Yeah.

Michelle Mata 1:15:20 Yeah. And the gist of it with life insurance is this like, is the amount that you can that you make, right? If something were to happen to you today, and you don't exist, but you have dependents that are that are living off your income, right? Because their children or it's your spouse who doesn't work, you know, G have a way of being able to replace your income for the next, you know, set amount of years, next set amount of time. Should for whatever reason, you leave this planet?

Scott Benner 1:15:50 Yeah, that's how we have enough. hate, I hate that we have this, we have enough on the kids, that if they were to pass away, we could take care of their funeral arrangements and things like that without digging into money that we have. And I'm covered lesser than my wife is because my wife, you know, makes more money than I do. And I think if I died, she'd be like, Yeah, well, that's inconvenient, because I have to wash the dishes now, but I can still pay the bills. And whereas if she died, I'd be like, I need to do some sit ups and queued the kids up because I need some lady to come in here and make some more money. You don't I mean?

Michelle Mata 1:16:28 Yeah, I mean, you see situations like that. I've even seen it where, let's say that you have, you know, one spouse who is, you know, the breadwinner for the family. And the other spouse is at home and they have five kids will if that stay at home spouse passes away. And those kids are school age, like somebody's still having to take care of them during the day. Yeah. So and that, you know that that takes resources that takes income. And even though that family wasn't paying anybody for child care, right, there was, there's still a value to the work that was done at the home.

Scott Benner 1:17:02 You don't have to count on the guy in high school that liked you that you didn't like that much. But he's still single. So yeah, yeah. Do you remember me from from college? Yeah, you don't

Michelle Mata 1:17:13 want to have to depend on the Hey, remember, when we were 20? We said we would marry if?

Scott Benner 1:17:18 Well, my husband just got hit by a tractor trailer, and I need you to be interested in me again, or vice versa, like I, my wife would be at a loss. She doesn't know when the garbage goes out. You don't I mean? Like, I'm sure she kind of does, but she wouldn't remember. You know, there's just some things people do when and, you know, when it's financial, you need coverage, it because it just goes away. It's not like, you know, if you don't have that life insurance, your company's not going to keep sending a check. So, so fight through the pain of how annoying and adult it is to have to learn about life insurance. Is that what you're telling me? I'm supposed to do? Michelle?

Michelle Mata 1:17:53 That's exactly what I'm saying. It's not pretty. It's a little ugly, but it's important.

Scott Benner 1:17:58 Getting old, probably should do. You know, I mean, how much longer can I make it? Michelle? It can't be?

Michelle Mata 1:18:03 Um, I don't know. I mean, you could take out insurance policy on your voice. So that way, if for some reason anything ever happened to your throat, and you couldn't do the podcast anymore?

Scott Benner 1:18:11 Could I legally? Is that a true thing? Are you making that up? Michelle trying to be funny. You're no,

Michelle Mata 1:18:16 no. I mean, there are some people that because of whatever work they do, they they insure certain things. I mean, years ago, JLo insured her booty?

Scott Benner 1:18:30 Did she? I think Ben Affleck just bought that policy out. It's okay, well, I'm going to do that, then. I'm not gonna get life insurance, but I'm gonna get insurance on my voice. That would be ridiculous. That's amazing. I appreciate you doing this. Did I miss anything? Did you miss anything? Are we good?

Michelle Mata 1:18:52 Um, oh, one other thing to look into, as you're looking into the the employee benefits is also check out the short term and long term disability plants, your company, some companies pay for those for the employees. And short term disability is considered WHERE condition might last like seven days to 30 days, whereas the long term is going to be anything from 30 days, maybe up to two years. And so there's always an elimination periods. It's weird that they call an elimination period. But they may not start the disability payments until seven days later, or 14 days later, right?

Scott Benner 1:19:34 I see. Yeah, I see. I'm so cynical that every time you say something like this, I put myself in the HR person's position. And I think I'm interviewing you and you say, Hey, tell me when does your long term and short term disability kick in? And in my mind, I'm just putting an X on the paper. I'm like, No, like you. I don't know why I'm just I am I is this like an East Coast cynicism thing, Michelle, like do you not think that way?

Michelle Mata 1:19:58 It could be I tried I'd be optimistic. But I try to also be an optimistic realist about things, too. I mean, I mean, I've seen some questionable things, you know, when I've interviewed people.

Scott Benner 1:20:10 To me, it's like, it's like, it's like, if I'm in an interview, and I'm like, Hey, I have a question about the company. Sure. What closet? Can I shoot heroin? Like, like, like, I'd be Oh, I'm sorry. You're, uh, no, like, right? Like that kind of thing? Like, tell me, how long does it take for the short term disability to kick in makes me feel like you're planning on taking short term disability. But I know that, but I know that for a person who has a real issue, it's just fact finding. But how do you relay that to the person you're speaking to? Without saying, I know this sounds janky. That I'm asking about this?

Michelle Mata 1:20:46 No, I mean, sure. I mean, you know, the whole idea about this is the, these should be normal questions anybody should be asking. So that way, it doesn't feel like you're the oddball asking this particular type of question. It also depends on the type of organization too. And I've certainly been a part of, you know, job interviews in the past where I never even had to ask for this information, because they just said, here's the benefits book. And if you have any questions, let us know. And they gave me everything.

Scott Benner 1:21:16 Excellent. And then then you don't have to ask the questions. But you can get the answers. Exactly. Yeah. That See, Michelle, that that I can't believe I'm saying it like this, because I don't mean it like this. That's a really valuable piece of information, not to say that other things you've said haven't. But instead of sitting there and asking all these questions, it's going to lead somebody to think I think this person's like, not going to work. You know, like, is there a place where I can get all my questions answered in a booklet or online? I don't want to bother you with it right now. And that way, you can dig into it without looking like your pre planning a vacation?

Michelle Mata 1:21:51 No, sure. And some other things that somebody could do to kind of do some, some fact finding and digging about the company is they could go to Glassdoor. And they can look at the reviews and see what other people have posted about their interview experience. Indeed, also has some reviews that people could look at as well. There's another try remember what the name of it is right now. I think it's blind.com. Where you can go in and anonymously post about your company experience. And again, just do some fact finding. Yeah, to find out like, Okay, I know what they're offering me. I know, this is the job title that said, but is it legitimate? Like, are they gonna pull? You know, they're gonna pull a rug under me

Scott Benner 1:22:38 by right? Yeah, yeah, it pays a lot of money. But we also don't let you leave, you're going to work 18 hours a day, you know, and you, we don't make you but you're gonna see someone else do it, and that person is gonna get compensated, and you're gonna start thinking, Well, I got to stay longer. And like those things that kind of pressure you into, it's bait and switch, as well as Michelle Yeah, then and if you can find a reliable place, where you see, you know, 50% of the people are like, Look, don't go there. Because this is what's going to happen that you can kind of trust that that's what's gonna happen.

Michelle Mata 1:23:08 No, absolutely. Oh, you know, it was blind and another one fishbowl that they can check,

Scott Benner 1:23:12 fishbowl and and Glassdoor and what's the other? Indeed? Indeed? Okay.

Michelle Mata 1:23:18 Yeah. All right. I'm blind. I'm blind.com. Blind. It's an app. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:23:23 that's excellent. That's all good information. I really appreciate it. Do you like your the work you do?

Michelle Mata 1:23:28 I do. Like the work I do. I like if I'm less, I'm less than HR. These days. I'm doing more creative things where I get to build elearning trainings and animated videos, and help people generally just get better at what they do some more creative side of it.

Scott Benner 1:23:43 Yeah. firing people very difficult.

Michelle Mata 1:23:46 Yes. And I am glad that I was not having to do Employee Relations during the pandemic.

Scott Benner 1:23:51 Oh, yeah. On top of everything, You're firing me during COVID use. Yeah, like that would be terrible.

Michelle Mata 1:23:58 I just vaccination, but

Scott Benner 1:24:01 also, we got you this lovely bouquet of oranges and apples to take with you. Please don't please, please don't crash into our cars as you leave it. I just can't imagine having to take someone's job from it seems. I mean, even if they deserve it, it seems that something I don't want my soul connected. So I think

Michelle Mata 1:24:20 yeah, I mean, it was even hard as a recruiter to tell people like you didn't get the job. Because some people overshare right. And so I knew what this job meant for them. But if they weren't the most qualified candidate, they weren't the most qualified candidate who's

Scott Benner 1:24:35 the oversharing ever get them out of the getting the job?

Michelle Mata 1:24:38 Um I think you can tell I try to stay like even if I hear something I still try very, very down the middle. Yeah, you really aren't. Yeah. And you know, in, in my world, I try to find that good balance between you know, I need to apply all of the organization's policies and procedures, but yet also make sure that, that the employee is having a good experience. Yeah, where they're out to. So I tried really hard to kind of be in the middle. But, I mean, there's a lot of people on both sides and, and I've seen it get really ugly at times too.

Scott Benner 1:25:15 Wow. Okay. All right. Well, I appreciate you doing this. I appreciate it very much. Thank you. I I didn't know where else to get this information from. So it's amazing that you had it.

Michelle Mata 1:25:25 You're welcome. Glad I could help. Oh, no, you

Scott Benner 1:25:28 really have. Hold on one second. I'm gonna talk to you when we're done. Sure. Hey, how about a huge thanks for Michelle for sharing all that knowledge with us. And while we're thanking people, let's thank Dexcom makers of the Dexcom G six and Dexcom G seven continuous glucose monitoring systems. Learn more Get started today use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Are you looking for community around your diabetes? Check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook, a wonderful, seriously wonderful community with nearly 40,000 people in it. Type one type two lot of gestational doesn't matter what kind of diabetes you have. Doesn't matter how you eat. You're welcome my group Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes, absolutely free on Facebook. I hope you're enjoying the podcast. If you are please share it with someone else who might also enjoy it. And of course, subscribe or follow in a podcast or audio app. It's a big help, Spotify, Apple podcast, Amazon music, stuff like that. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

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