#367 Utah Jen
Let's not quibble about juice
Jen has two children. One has type 1 diabetes and the other lives with Dent disease.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:03
Hello, everyone, welcome to Episode 367 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is with Jen, Jen and I have known each other for a while. She's the mother of a child with type one diabetes, and the mother of a child with dengue disease. She's also someone whose private conversation with me turned into something that I talked about on stage when I'm speaking. I can't tell you the twists and turns that this episode takes. So every time you think, Oh, this is what this one's about, it'll change. Please remember, as you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget, if you'd like to share the diabetes pro tip episodes with a friend, you can actually just send them to diabetes pro tip.com. Nice and easy. Of course, you can always get them to subscribe to the podcast, but diabetes protip.com will show them those specific episodes. And if you have a great doctor that you'd like to share with someone else, check out juice box docs.com. This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the GS six continuous glucose monitor, find out more about the dexcom G six@dexcom.com. Ford slash juice box. And if you'd like to get a free, no obligation demo of the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump sent directly to your home. All you have to do is go to my omnipod.com Ford slash juice box. It'll be there as quick as the mail can get to you.
Utah Jen 1:55
My name is Jen. I live in Utah. And I have a little boy who is eight. He has type one. And that's why I'm here.
Scott Benner 2:06
Ah, that's not why you're here. Here, Jen, because you are one of the few people who I've communicated with in the past who have a title. All right. You are Utah Jen. That's a mutagen. There's also a woman in Pittsburgh, her name is Pittsburgh. This is how I keep track of people. She doesn't even get her full name. She just gets Pittsburgh,
Utah Jen 2:27
especially Jen. Because there's so many of them.
Scott Benner 2:30
Well, that ended up being one of the problems is that at some point I was corresponding with enough Jennifer's that I was just like, I don't know who you are. And I can't like I'm scrolling back going like who is this? But your story's specifically exciting for me to tell you and you don't even probably know why. But I'm gonna start by asking how things are now for your son.
Utah Jen 2:55
So good. Scott,
Scott Benner 2:57
tell me about how it goes now, like what's a regular day like?
Utah Jen 3:01
So regular day is, you know, typical when he wants the food, we, I don't sit there and count all the carbs like I used to and like be freaking out about it. I kind of look at the meal and I say okay, Hmm, this looks about you know, 3040, whatever, 4050 carbs. And I say, Okay, let's do it. And so can we kind of do it together because I'm trying to help him to get to that point. And we, we've learned the extending, we've learned the, the temp basals. We've learned so much. And he's now able to pretty much hopefully if things go well go throughout his whole day, and not really think of diabetes. That's very, which is a huge step from where we first came from. Right. And we're gonna get to that.
Scott Benner 3:53
Yeah. What What is a one c? Can you say?
Utah Jen 3:57
I'm 6.2 right now.
Scott Benner 3:59
That's lovely. Good for you. Okay, so am i right to say that we found each other? You found me through Facebook?
Utah Jen 4:08
Yes, I did. How did that happen? Um, I was just, well, wait a minute. No. So I was listening to a different
diabetes podcast before.
Scott Benner 4:18
Do you still listen to that diabetes podcast? No. Oh, keep going?
Unknown Speaker 4:24
I don't,
Utah Jen 4:25
I can't. It just doesn't. It doesn't click with me. And then I found you. And I'm like, Who is this weirdo? When I first started listening to you? I thought you were I thought you were super quirky. And I and I'm like, I loved it. Right? And then I just got hooked. And then I'm like, you know what? I'm the type of person where I don't I kind of think we're all together in this, you know? And so I'm like, I'm just going to email him, or I'm going to find them on Facebook is what it because he kept saying, go to my Facebook page on the web on the Juicebox Podcast and so I went to the Facebook page, and I think I texted you on Facebook or instant message you and said, Hey, this is this is our deal. I don't know what to do with this. And we were just doing we were still MDI at that point. And then you kind of reached out. I mean, you were so quick at reaching out to, well, like, Oh, my God,
Scott Benner 5:21
that's lovely. It's because you were in such a situation that made me feel like, Oh, can I really ignore this and let this kid's blood sugar before 100? And I felt like I couldn't do that. So do you know that what comes next? That conversation we had and what we did that afternoon was a Saturday afternoon that I speak about that without your details at every live event? I do. Do you know that you
Unknown Speaker 5:44
Yes. dearly. Use? That is awesome. I use that
Scott Benner 5:49
example of what we did together to give people a way to think backwards about things. So like, what I mean by that is, I think normally people think about, you know, you guys have heard me say like how insulin affects the number, right? Like I give insulin to make the number go down. I think that's the extent of how some people think of management. And I like people to be able to think about how food can impact insulin, how food can impact the blood sugar, like, you know, the number like all these different kind of ideas. So I tell them the story of you and I on the phone. And I would love to go through it now and get your recollections of it as we go, because I only had my side of it. So
Unknown Speaker 6:31
yeah, I'll start
Scott Benner 6:31
by saying that I recall, Jen, which even feels weird, she really is Utah, Jen. But I recall, we were on the phone. And my wife and I were dressing to go to where are we going? Oh, we were taking Arden and her friend to see the Nightmare Before Christmas projected on screen while an orchestra played the background music to the the incidental music to the movie through the whole movie. So just the movie and the the words would come out of the speakers, and they would play all the music live, which is was really kind of cool. But we were getting dressed to go to that is my point. And I remember my wife being like, Hey, you don't have time to talk to somebody right now. And I and I showed her your son's graph. And I was like, are you sure we don't have time for this? And she goes, Hey, all right, God, you call her and I was like, okay, so I remember the first thing you told me was like, I'm like, How did this happen? It was Cheerios, right? Mm hmm. Ah, okay,
Utah Jen 7:37
Honey Nut Cheerios.
Scott Benner 7:38
So your kids blood sugar was pegged over 400 on his Dexcom graph? Oh, yeah. And I basically launched into what I think of is probably the same 30 minute conversation I would give anybody in that situation. Do you remember at all what I said at that point?
Utah Jen 7:54
I kind of I mean, it's, it's, it was a little bit of a blur. It scared the crap out of me, honestly. Right. Um, so I think that you said something like, we're going to do something that is going to be crazy, but we're gonna do it, and we're gonna figure it out.
Scott Benner 8:09
Do you want to do something potentially dangerous for your child with a stranger on the internet?
Utah Jen 8:14
We've never met. And do you trust me? And I'm like, Well, I trust you. So let's do it. And you're like, well, I can't guarantee you.
Scott Benner 8:21
There's the tone of Jen's voice in that moment, which was really, I have no other choice. Like, I'm, I'm clearly so terrible at this, that I, I'll listen to anyone like, I think I actually could have come at you right out of a prison door. You know, wearing a suit from 30 years ago, holding my sharpened spoon in my hand. I've been like, I could help you if you want help. And Jen would have been like, okay, I'll try. You know, she just she did not have any where else to go.
Utah Jen 8:47
And the frustrating thing, Scott is that I'm a nurse. And so I was like, What the hell am I doing wrong? Like, how can I not understand this? And that was frustrating even more. Yeah, because I'm like, this is my degree, right? Like, you know,
Scott Benner 9:01
that of the people I intersect with nurses. I swear, I think I have enough data now to say this out loud. Nurses, as parents of people with type one diabetes struggle, maybe more than anyone else in the beginning.
Utah Jen 9:14
Totally would make sense. You know why? It's because we look at it and we have to double check insulin in the hospital. It's a very, very high risk drug. And so whenever you're double checking it, and you're giving it to somebody that you don't know, and you don't know how they're gonna respond to, it's a big deal for a nurse, right? And so when we're like pumping it into our kids, or like,
Scott Benner 9:34
it's this thing that you've been doing forever is super, super dangerous. And you've you've there's actually procedures in place for you to treat it like it's very dangerous.
Utah Jen 9:43
Oh 100% No, so you're
Scott Benner 9:44
in your house with a little piece of plastic.
Utah Jen 9:47
Yes. I'm sitting here injecting a full on frickin unit into my son and I you know, doing that in the hospital, I have to have two nurses double check the exact drying up the exact you know, name And whatever of the insulin and the order and I get to process Yeah, so that makes sense.
Scott Benner 10:06
Yeah, at home, it's just like, hey, here we go. It's like drinking lighter fluid, it feels like more. Okay, so, Alright, so here's my favorite thing. So whatever I end up saying to Jen on that call is me trying to cherry pick probably the most salient couple of details from the pro tip series, and jamming them in your head like ideas that you'll be able to fall back on or that you'll be able to go to the podcast and you know, maybe make more clear for yourself. But then, what happened at the end? Because was crazy, because at the end, I said, Are you okay? And she's not like, she's clearly not, you know, and so I'm like, I'll keep texting with you or something if you need me to. But then I said, Okay, so what are you going to do now? Like thinking that Jen would take some of the information that we spoke about, and put it into practice? But But Jen, what you said was, well, he's hungry. So I'm gonna give him lunch. And yeah, and I looked into kids, blood sugar was still 400. I was like, and I'm like, No, like, I think you were the first person that I actually just ever said, No, no, that's wrong. You got that wrong. Sorry. That's not what we're doing now. So that I said, let's do want to do something crazy with a stranger on the phone. And you were like, all right. And I said, Okay. And I remember saying to you, how much insulin makes this 400 100? And you started talking about ratios? And I said, No, no, stop that. Stop. I don't care. I said, obviously, your ratios don't work because blood sugars for so. You know, just you guess like, ballpark it in your head, just gas. And I believe you said a unit. Yeah. And then I said, Okay, think of his lunch. How much insulin Do you think his lunch is gonna take? And I swear it was fascinating, because you started going? Well, he gets one unit purse, and I was like, Whoa, like five seconds ago. I just said no to this. And it was just interesting to see. And so you guessed it a unit and a half. And I said give him two and a half units. And I'll never forget you said and then it'll eat and I was like, Oh, no, then we're gonna wait. And that 45 minutes.
Unknown Speaker 12:13
Oh my god,
Scott Benner 12:14
I thought you were gonna die of a stroke or an aneurism a number of different times,
Utah Jen 12:20
saying, I was walking around my house going, Oh,
I'm sorry. I can't swear.
Scott Benner 12:25
Oh, keep cursing. We'll turn it into a protein after dark if we have to. So yeah, so the my recollection of it is that it took quite a time for him to even diagonal down out of that high number. And then he he was drifting for a while at a diagonal down number. And the way I tell it on stage is I'm like, you know, she gave her the two and a half, you gave him the two and a half units. And it took a while. And I felt like about 45 minutes later, we were in a freefall, like in the two hundreds, right?
Utah Jen 12:56
Yes. Like double down? Yes. Yeah.
Scott Benner 12:58
Like isn't really, really, really falling. And I said, and you I remember saying, hey, it's okay to make the lunch now. And the funniest thing that's ever been said to me on the phone is you said, I made that lunch a half an hour ago.
Utah Jen 13:13
It's sitting on the counter
Scott Benner 13:14
sitting on the counter. And I was like, watching you really remember this conversation? That's great.
Unknown Speaker 13:20
Oh, how could I forget Scott? Are you kidding?
Scott Benner 13:23
So? So anyway, for the kids, you know, he's eating. And now I'm saying things to Jen that I'm sure don't make sense. Like, Hey, watch the CGM. You're gonna see how the food is impacting the insulin and how it's gonna start, you know, leveling out and coming down and it'll slow. Well, I want to say, around 115, two arrows down. I thought, Hmm, I should have let him eat a little sooner. And I was like, but to me, that was no big deal. And I didn't want to make you feel like a big deal to you. So I said, Hey, john, could you do me a favor and give him a little bit of juice? And you spoke words after that, that I laugh out loud? When I say I it's the biggest laugh in my talk. You remember what you said?
Unknown Speaker 14:07
that'll have me juice? We don't keep juice in the house. Yeah, we don't. And there's a pause
Scott Benner 14:11
on my end. And I must have made a face. Because my wife goes, What's wrong? She mounts what's wrong to me? And I cover the phone, and I look at her and I go, I just killed a kid in Utah. And she's like, what I'm like, Oh, hold on. And so I put the phone back up to my, to my ear. And I said, Okay, Jen. Well, what we're looking and you started saying we treat lows with Skittles,
Utah Jen 14:37
like Skittles, or jelly beans or some something like that. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 14:40
And I was, like
Utah Jen 14:42
I said, then I said, but I do have a little bit of lemonade.
Scott Benner 14:45
And I remember saying, Jen, let's not quibble over what juices please.
Unknown Speaker 14:52
I don't know what I was thinking.
Scott Benner 14:54
No, there's no juice here. All we have is lemonade with sugar in it. Huh? Damn. I guess he's got gonna die. And so and so then you were like how much and I remember saying, I don't care, just give them a little bit. Like, I just want to take the speed out of this arrow a little because I had real comfort that the food was in that the food was going to impact them. Listen, I don't know how good your guests was of a unit and a unit and a half, right? Like, um, just based on his weight and what he was doing and what you were planning on feeding. I thought that seems reasonable.
Utah Jen 15:26
Right? It was like a peanut butter and jelly, I think is what he was having with like some berries or something.
Scott Benner 15:30
Gotcha. And so and so the juice did it the juice. Since Jen's cursing all over the place, the juice took the air out of the arrows, right, and it started to slow down. And I don't remember the timing anymore. But we started catching a diagonal down arrow. And then eventually, I think I'm going to be exactly right about this number, his blood sugar level off at 77.
Utah Jen 15:51
Yep, right, right.
Scott Benner 15:52
Yep. Okay. And then the first thing you said to me was, should I give him some Skittles? And I was like, Jen, it just took me an hour and a lot of work of magic over a telephone to get this kid's blood sugar from 400 to 77. With his meal and him, please do not do that. Just be okay. And I remember you feeling nervous. You were really nervous, though. Mm hmm. Why? What about that number made you nervous?
Utah Jen 16:18
I think I was freshly out of diagnosis. If I'm remembering right, I think that was in the winter, because my husband was at work as a ski coach. And at that time, I think we were probably only like, four months out for four or five and I was scared of that number. Yeah. And I don't. Now Now I do. I look at it. And I'm like, Oh, he's beautiful at 75 level, right? Like, perfect. That's where I probably am right now, too. But when I look at like my mom, she is very nervous at him being at right. And so I think it's just that. Oh, my gosh, is it going to turn in? Is it going to just drop when now that I know that? The food is like like you explained that tug of war, the food and the insulin or tug of war ring so well, that it's just gonna stay that way? Like it's not it's not going to drop at 75 of his level. Yeah. And so once I learned that, but that that was the key. I remember my husband came home that day, and I'm like, Oh, my God, let me tell you about what happened today. I called a stranger
Unknown Speaker 17:29
on the phone and let him give my son insulin. You should leave me and take these children.
Utah Jen 17:36
But he respects you so much. And he's like, holy,
funny, you know, and we in an ever since then, I talk about being bold with insulin. I mean, seriously, right? Like this. That's like, catchphrase right there. Because now I'm like, Okay, well, you know what, I know what to do. And, and now when I dose him, I'm not afraid. And I usually go much higher than I think. And we keep them beauty, like nice beauty lines. And of course, I'd like his agency to be lower than it is right now. But I'm, I, I think you remember, I have other things going on in my house in my home too, with my other little boy. And it's like, my whole day is keeping my boys alive and happy. Pretty much. And so it's like, but we're but we're moving in that direction. And
Scott Benner 18:32
we're doing terrific. And and we can get to the rest of the second. But I want to jump back for a second to he's 77. You were uncomfortable. I could tell in your voice. You were very uncomfortable. I wasn't following his CGM or anything like that. And I was about to embark on a 45 or one hour drive to this place where we were going, right? So I gave you my number, like my cell number. And I was like, it's gonna be fine. Don't do anything. And, you know, I hung up the phone. It wasn't. We were not even to where we were going yet. It was a half an hour, maybe 40 minutes later, and you texted or called I think you might have called because I think my wife picked the phone up. And you're like, he's 220 diagonal up. And I'm and so my brain. Like before I answer, my brain runs through this litany of ideas about diabetes, these things that I understand. And I think that's not possible. Like that's just not possible. And I'm like, What happened? Do you remember what you said?
Unknown Speaker 19:29
No,
Scott Benner 19:30
you said I gave him some Skittles.
Unknown Speaker 19:34
I was like, Oh,
Unknown Speaker 19:37
my God, I remember now.
Scott Benner 19:41
So I was like, Listen, I'm about to go into this thing. I can't help you with this again. And then what happens next is sort of interesting because between then and now, I had to round about guess I'd say that we've spoken four times and texted a ton in the last couple of Is that fair? Okay. All right. You resisted this information more than any person I've met so far in the beginning. And I'm wondering if you're aware of that? And if so, do you know why?
Utah Jen 20:15
That I know? I don't think so you don't
Scott Benner 20:17
feel resistant? Did you just struggle with it more? Like? Like, why? Like every time you got a hold of me, I was like, Oh, it's almost like we didn't talk last time. But yeah, were you just struggling to put it into place? Because you're in place. Now. That's why I asked you where you are announced that we can kind of work backwards to it. What was your process from that day, to where you are now? Like, what did you figure out? on your own, that helps?
Utah Jen 20:40
Boy, the only thing I can think about, honestly, is going back and thinking about the last two years of my life have been a complete blur. And to the point where I have been, I was in a car accident in March, and it kind of threw me over the edge. And I've been told by my doctor that I've been living in this fight or flight response mode for the last two, three years of my boy's life. And yeah, from from what we've been dealing with. And now I'm able to look back upon it, because I've been off work since March. And I've been able to really focus on my mental health and my anxiety and mindfulness and you know, changing everything in my life. And I'm actually able to look back on the two or three years and go holy, I don't remember half of it, because I've been living in this literal, high stress, trying to survive every day. You know, working full time as a nurse, there's a high in a high stress job, taking care of my little boy trying to figure out this diabetic stuff, and then dealing with my other little one, too, and trying to keep a marriage alive. And you know what I mean? And
Scott Benner 22:03
so makes a lot of sense.
Utah Jen 22:05
Yeah. Now I look back on it, Scott, and I couldn't freakin figure it out, either. I'm like, why the hell? Am I not getting this? I am not stupid.
Scott Benner 22:13
Because every time you got a hold of me, I would feel like Did someone like Shake what I said out of her head? Yeah, like, like I couldn't. Yes, there was a time I was sitting outside of a store. I forget what I was doing. And I was talking on the phone from my car. And I just thought, like, I started thinking, how long have Jen and I been doing this? Like? Like, like, like, how? How did she just asked me that question. I can't like it was fascinating. Tell me about just for a second, your other child has a different medical issue, which What is that?
Utah Jen 22:45
Yeah, so I'll give you like a down and dirty on it. So um, so my little boy who was three and a half at the time, my older one FOSS was not diagnosed at this time. So this was back in, I don't know, three and a half years ago. See, it's a blur. Like, honestly, it's all a blur to me. He started peeing and drinking a lot and like regressing on his potty training. And I'm like, What the hell does he have type one diabetes as a nurse, that's the first thing that came to my mind. I couldn't keep water in his mouth. I couldn't keep a dry trainer on him, you know, or he was just paying like crazy. And I'm like, I'm going to take him into the doctor. I'm like, Can you guys just check his blood sugar. And they did. And it was normal. So they did a year analysis. And he had really, there was no glucose, but he had really, really high protein in his urine. And the pediatricians like, this isn't normal at all. So I'm going to refer you down to nephrology down at primary children's, and go down there and see what they have to say. And she's like, it's probably nothing, you know. So we go down there, we talked to them, we get this out of a doctor probably shouldn't say that. I probably shouldn't say that. We have a great doctor now. So let me just preface it or follow with that. And he, you know, he kind of goes and says this and this and this could be wrong, this and this. I think we need to do a kidney biopsy. And you know, that was after a couple appointments and bloodwork and whatever. And so we ended up doing this kidney biopsy, I found out that he has this really rare genetic kidney disorder called dent disease. Very rare, and it's also rare because it's not, you don't really have symptoms of it. I think honestly, the only reason why I picked it up is because I'm a nurse, most kids would be like a our most parents I think would just let it they would just let it fly, which is what a lot do. So anyway, come to find out I'm the carrier of it. I got it from my father who had is in chronic kidney disease. And then we I've been able to trace it all the way back. So it's a x linked recessive kidney disorder, which means that it only if Boys. And I, of course, had an older son. And so it affects women as carriers, but it only affects the boys with the disease. So I had a 5050 chance of giving it to fosse as well. And so I'm like, Okay, well, we got to get the genetic tests for FOSS. And so we did, got his blood drawn, sent it off, and we were waiting on the results, and they were taking forever. And in the meantime, fosse started peeing and drinking a ton. Right? And I'm going will show he has done disease, guaranteed. I know it. And it kept getting worse. He started sleepwalking at night, he would lose weight. He had bags under his eyes. I would clean up pee around the toilet, because I have two boys. They're disgusting, right? Lovely, disgusting, but disgusting. I would clean up here on the toilet, and it would be like syrup. And it never occurred to me once that it could be type one, not once because I was skewed towards the stem disease. Yeah. Even though Luke's p was never sticky, right? But still. Then finally I'm like, Oh my god, can I just get the results? So I can treat this boy, you know, there's really not a treatment, but still. And I got the results and they were negative. And I'm like, there's no way. There's no way. I don't believe it. And like a week later, I took him to his karate class. Well, no, a couple days before that. He was up at my mom's house who lives way up in the mountains, like you have to snowmobile up to her house in the winter. She was at he was up there. And he started like having this massive abdominal pain and he was vomiting. And he was just like, Grandma, I can't drink enough. But he was vomiting and sick. And my mom called me She's like, you need to come pick him up. And I'm like, Oh, my God, like, is he passing a kidney stone because that is a symptom with dent disease is a form calcium in their kidneys. And like he had I know he has dead disease, and he's probably passing kidney stone. So I go up there, I grab him, bring him home, give them a bunch of water, put them on the couch, and he starts to feel better. Like he just passed a kidney stone, like in my mind, knew it. Next day, take him to karate. He's at karate. And he's like, mom comes up to me crying and he just looks like seriously. Like, Mom, I do not feel good. And I'm like, hey, let's go. And I just had this feeling in me. I called the pediatrician. It was like five o'clock. They're like, we're closing. I'm like, I'm bringing him in right now. And drive over there. And I'm like, Can you just test his urine? I know you're gonna find protein in it. I know it. Still thinking, Scott.
Unknown Speaker 27:41
It was done. Yeah.
Utah Jen 27:43
And so they tested urine in it comes back and she pulls me out of the room. She's like, Jen, can I talk to you? pulls me out of the room, takes me into the room next to the where the kids were. And she looks at me. She gave me this look. And she put her hands on my shoulders. And I said, I just kind of put my head back. And I'm like, Well, I guess it's a 5050 chance, right? And still thinking it was that disease. And she looked at me and she said, sweetie, she's like, it's type one diabetes. And I just looked at her. And I remember, like, almost blacking out like, no, like, it makes me emotional thinking about it now Sure. Because I remember it so well going. There's no way that this can be happening right now. There's no way and I literally dropped to the floor. And she consoled me for a minute. And I pulled myself together. I said, Okay, what do we have to do? And she's like, you need to get your kids together. They tested his blood sugar, it was 800. And you need to go to the hospital. And so I tried to call my husband he was like on the way to the dump or something to like, dump a bunch of crap or whatever. And it kept cutting out. And I'm like Scotty fosse has type one diabetes, and he's like,
what you're cutting out I'm
Unknown Speaker 29:09
throwing away a refrigerator. Leave me alone.
Utah Jen 29:11
Yeah, I'm like, and I called him back and it kept cutting out and cutting out and cutting out and I'm like, oh my god. Finally like I got I told him and he's like, Oh my god, like it rocked us. Right and so we met at the house and went down to the doctors or the hospital and the rest is that but I just the way that it presented and skewed me was insane. And that's part of the reason why I wanted to come on and talk about that also is because I listened to that podcast that you had with the woman who had lost her son and that was a tear jerker. And I said to myself, I'm like, you know, I think that people need to hear That, because it's hard. And it's so like it. Diabetes alone is so hard with your kid. And you add other things, and it just is so much, you know, I have to, my little boy has to drink 90 to 100 ounces of water a day, and he's six. And that that alone right there, dictates his kidney function. So if he gets dehydrated, it could put him into kidney failure. And so keeping him hydrated and keeping my other boy alive with insulin, and you know, it, it's everything. And I want, I really wanted people to know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. And then I listened to your other podcasts with the couple that you had on there who spoke about how it's really not talked about how couples feel. And those two episodes to me just stuck with me so much. And that's where I'm like, you know, I really want people to know about this just just because it's just, it's unexpected, and life throws things at you so hard. You know?
Scott Benner 31:13
No, I was thinking, as we're busy researching what might be a third autoimmune thing for Arden. And we're trying to figure out why she has incredible tension in her shoulders, and her joints, sometimes her neck and can be your ankle on her knees, and you're trying to figure out what all that is. And for a long time, we thought maybe it was just their thyroid medication was off. She had low iron. We thought maybe it was that. And we're, you know, it takes a while to find a physician that can even be helpful, who doesn't just read, you know, lab results and tell you know, that's fine. This is okay, sorry. You're right.
Utah Jen 31:50
Yeah, yeah.
Scott Benner 31:53
And we're picking our way through it. And I don't know what's gonna come of it, if it's gonna just, you know, I have no idea. And it very well could end up that she'll have a third autoimmune thing. And it may end up that she doesn't, maybe we figure out something with diet, or I have no idea, right? Like, I just don't know where we're at yet. And it made me wonder if I was going to tell my kids that you have to really consider this before you have children because of the impact it has on your life. Yeah, it's really substantial. It changes it changes the course of almost said possibility. And I mean, you can fight through it and still do things. But it's just always there. It's, it's like, it's like, I don't know, it's like some sort of like torture, just a buzzing in your ear, or a light that no one will shut off. You know, just it just, it just doesn't leave you alone, ever, ever. Yeah. And you and it's as much of an impact as it has on you. And as hard as it is on relationships. It's even, it's harder to look at your kids and think something else is gonna go wrong. Like is like, like, forget, is this gonna go bad? Like is something else gonna happen? Like, I think all the time like Arden was to when she got diabetes, and she was, I don't know, maybe 13 when we figured out the hypo thyroid thing, you know, life seems like it's piling up on her quicker than it does on some people. And, you know, is that going to be like, what is that going to mean for her? You know, and I don't know, it's just, it's hard. And I'm, I wish, I don't know what I would have done differently. But I do wonder if somebody could have come to me in my 20s with all certainty and said, Look, you met a girl, you love her, you're married the two of you, we're going to make a baby together that has type one diabetes, and this other issue and maybe a third. If I wouldn't have just said like, maybe we should just make some money and travel and, you know, yeah, just not what someone else
Utah Jen 33:51
through this. It's crazy to think about that, isn't it?
Scott Benner 33:54
Yeah, no, it's terrible. And I'm not wishing my kids away. I'm just saying it's, if you really think about it, it's, it's there. And it's a lot to think about. Today's show is sponsored by Omni pod and Dexcom. And I'd like to tell you a little bit about both of them right now. The Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor is absolutely the greatest tool that I have ever seen, for making decisions about insulin, and food and diabetes in general. Why is that? Well, because with the dexcom g six, you can see the speed and direction that blood sugar is moving, not just the blood sugar, which is helpful like to know hey, my blood sugar is 95. It's 130. It's 310 whatever it is, but what if it was 130 and moving up, and not just moving up, but moving up at one or two points per minute, or three points per minute. If you knew that just with these little directional arrows that give you that information at a glance. In case that's not enough the person wearing the dexcom can share their information with up to 10 followers. So your child could be at school while you're listening, you know, at home to a podcast and all of a sudden your phone just might go beep beep. And you think, Oh, I know what those two beeps mean. My child's blood sugar has moved above the threshold that I set for it to alarm yet, so maybe you want to be alarmed at 140 I like being alarmed at 120 that's when I like to know my daughter's blood sugar's moving up. I want to know when you're going down. You can set an alarm for that as well. Huh? This is making sense to you. dex calm down.com forward slash juicebox. Get in there, find out more. Do the reading. Figure out if it's something you want. And if it is get going. I'm going to tell you right now you will not look back. This will be one of the best decisions that you've ever made. Another terrific decision that we made here was getting Arden the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. This is something we did many years ago when Arden was four years old. And as you know she just turned 16 Arden has been wearing the Omni pod for 12 years, every day. And it never fails to do exactly what we hope and what we need. There's the little things right? Temp Basal increases and decreases. Extended boluses pumps do that. But the Omni pod does it without tubing, you are not attached to anything when you were and on the pod, no controller, no tubing, no muss, no fuss, this little device, you put it on, you wear it, you can hide it or wear it out loud and proud. Doesn't matter. This thing is terrific. You should be able to experience it for yourself before you decide to make the plunge to take the plunge. You can my omnipod.com Ford slash juice box go there fill out the tiniest bit of information on the pod would be thrilled and they will expediently that is not a word but quickly is what I meant. send you an omni pod demo to try on. They call it a pod experience kit. It's very exciting. It comes in the mail, you pick a spot where you want to put it you put it on. And then you go about your life. Your work, you play your baby asleep, you see what it's like to wear it on the pod. And if you decide this is for you, on the pod is the way I want to go. You move forward with the process. And if you don't, on the pod does not bug you about it. I don't like they're not like knocking on the door like, Hey, we sent you a demo pod. What do you want to get me going tomorrow? They don't do that. They just go you didn't like it? Whatever. Cool. That's why it's worth trying. Miami pod.com forward slash juicebox. No Obligation means give it a whirl, see what you think. I mean, the demos free, you have nothing to lose. There are links in your show notes to all the advertisers. And at Juicebox podcast.com. If you can't remember, the ones I've just given to you.
It's a lot to think about.
Utah Jen 38:05
It is it's a lot and especially I've and this also will kind of play into where I've been the last few years is with my mindset and like everything was kind of it's been this, this full on blur? Because I am the carrier of it. Right? So I'm the one that gave it to him. And I also have hypothyroidism so I have an autoimmune disease. So here I am thinking the doctors like Well, you could have it could be your problem for the type one blow, you know, and it's like, oh, gee, great
Scott Benner 38:38
thing to have to say. Like, why does it matter where it came from? It came right came from randomness is where it came from?
Utah Jen 38:44
Yeah. And so, so yeah, you sit there and you beat yourself up about it? Well, if it if it wasn't for my genetics, I wouldn't have given that to my boys, you know, or boy, whatever, you know, and it really messes with your mind, especially when you're trying to figure it all out and still live a normal life and keep them normal and, and grow and help them to be raised. Feeling their normal. And that's a big deal for me, is I'm not letting type one affect my little boy to the point. I'm trying to not let it affect him to where he feels that he can't have something or, you know, he can't go to a birthday party or whatever, you know, it's like, and you still get those comments from people at school or you know, neighbors or whoever, whatever that say, Well, he can't have this cupcake. Or he can't have this and it's like no, he really can. He can eat the entire cake. As long as I figure out what to dose him with. And it's okay. And I'm not afraid of it anymore. Like literally I could set a birthday cake in front of him and dose him and and Scott By the way, with the honey materials. I haven't died. He ate a big old thing of Froot Loops the other day. dialed it, it didn't go above 120 Wow, beauty,
Scott Benner 40:06
I feel pressure for that. Made you understand how to use insulin, that's really cool. Yeah, and you can use it with anything, it's because
Utah Jen 40:14
my mind is more clear. And everything has become so much more calm and clear in my life. And it's, it's helping my kids to you know. And so that accident that I had in March was actually a really good thing. The concussion that I had, and all that stuff was a good thing, because it took me out of my fight or flight mode that I was living in for so long. And made me realize, hey, you can't you literally can't live like this anymore. It's gonna kill you if you do. Nothing. So it helps to hear you say this to me. Because it really does, because it helps to justify what I was feeling those two years. I'm saying
Scott Benner 40:57
no, I'm really glad I like I said, you said it earlier. Just you were a reasonable person, and you're intelligent, you understood, and then we get back together. And it was almost like you were calling to say like, Can you explain this to me again? And? And I was like, Huh, this doesn't make any sense. And now with contacts that I made, I guess it makes perfect sense, honestly.
Utah Jen 41:20
Yeah. And and I'm I get it now. And I do want to say that I'm changing, changing paths in my nursing. And I'm going to get my CDE. And I'm going to be working for a small nonprofit clinic here in town to help people with diabetes, all sorts, and working with this amazing internal medicine doctor to build this beautiful diabetes program. And so I'm like, jumping in full bore with my clear mind, and a whole new outlook on it. And I'm so excited.
Scott Benner 41:55
That's lovely. It really is. We all have to find a way to help each other because, I mean, listen, I feel like I can hold myself together. As long as the things that happen to my children are manageable. Like I don't expect the perfect life. I don't get mad at people who have lives where they don't run into medical issues, right? Yeah, that's not my thing. I just realized that somewhere beyond manageable. If something happened, that was your reparable just life changing, you know, couldn't leave a room couldn't do a thing. couldn't function that I don't I honestly don't know if I wouldn't be exactly in the shoes you were describing. If I wouldn't just zone out and think Yeah, alright, let's just just keep everybody alive until you know, until this is over.
Utah Jen 42:46
It would be pretty hard when I got the call from the doctor telling me that they thought it was dengue disease. I remember I was in my kitchen and my husband wasn't home yet. The kids were out back playing. And he goes, this is what I think it is. And I'm like, Okay, well, what the hell is that? And he's like, well, it's, you know, it's all dependent on it can it can cause kidney failure between anywhere between the third to fifth decade of life? And like, What do you mean? And he goes, Well, he could possibly need a kidney transplant. And I just sat there. And I'm looking at my three year old playing in the backyard on the swings, and I'm like, like, you could imagine.
Unknown Speaker 43:28
No, I can, yeah, I and
Utah Jen 43:31
my husband came home, I told him in the kitchen, and he, he just started crying. And when you see a grown man just full on start bawling because of his little boy, it's it's traumatic, and it was rough. And so I, I do I want I want people to I want I want it to be heard that. That is definite PTSD. Like it's it changes your whole entire life. The whole thing. And, and then to have, you know, let's see so far. He was Yeah, so less than a year later, Foster was diagnosed with type one.
Scott Benner 44:11
Yeah, while you're still fresh in this other thing. I'm looking here just for context for people dense disease is a rare genetic kidney disorder characterized by spillage of small proteins in the urine, increased levels of calcium in the urine, kidney calcifications. recurrent episodes of kidney stones and chronic kidney disease dense disease affects males almost exclusively. That's your that that's a good clear understanding of it.
Utah Jen 44:36
Mm hmm. Okay, Yep. Yep. And it can be so various, you know, from person to person in a family. Somebody can have like my little sister, who is my dad's daughter. My parents are divorced, but she is my dad's daughter. She is a carrier of dense disease too. And so and then what do you know she has two little boys and her oldest who's three was diagnosed with Then studies as well, and then her youngest one and a half has not been tested yet. So, but difference, you know, like Luke's kidney function is down. I mean, he's in stage two chronic kidney disease. Her little boy has fine kidney function. And so it all totally depends. You don't know how it's going to affect you, my dad 60. And he has, I think, what 18% kidney function right now, he needs he needs to be on the transplant list. I think he's going to be there soon. But he's 60. You know, and he never knew he had this until two years ago.
Scott Benner 45:36
Right? And so is your son. Like, is this progression quicker?
Utah Jen 45:42
Um, I don't, I don't know, the doctor that we first saw, he put him on some pretty strong medications in the beginning, I think which put him into like an acute kidney injury, and kind of took down his function. For a while we took him off those meds I went, I flew out to the Mayo Clinic to see a real specialists on this, because there's very few, I think that they're probably the only ones. And he says, Now these are way too strong for him. He's too little. And they took him off of them. And his function came back a little bit. And they can't they won't tell me you know that if that is what kind of took it down. But they said that, and he's been staying nice and level for the last year. And so I'll take that, you know, we we pump him full of water all the time. And he's a great trooper with it.
Scott Benner 46:32
Um, how frequently does he have to give blood for testing to track function?
Utah Jen 46:38
every three months?
Scott Benner 46:40
Yeah, Arden's been given a lot of blood lately to try to figure out her other issue. And, you know, it starts off. It just it feels like a drudgery and then all of a sudden, I don't know what's worse, it stops being a drudgery and you get accustomed to it. I'm not sure if it's worse to struggle, or if it's worse, to just be okay with it. I don't know if that makes sense or not. But
Utah Jen 47:02
oh, it totally does. And then add the fact that I'm a nurse. And so I can pull up his records. Right, right, right when they come up. And I look at the numbers, and I know them. So because I look at them all the time for my job. And so being able to look at the numbers and go, Oh crap, why is this? Higher? And this lower? What can I do? You know, and it's that, that nursing brain takes over? And everybody's like, Oh, it's a good thing. You're a nurse, you're in good thing. You have these kids? And really, it's like, man,
I almost wish I didn't know. Yeah,
Scott Benner 47:36
and I gotta say, it's a weird statement to say that because you decided to go into nursing. It's good that you got a child with dense and type one diabetes.
Unknown Speaker 47:43
Right?
Scott Benner 47:44
odd sentiment today for somebody? Like Thank you. Thank God, your mechanic your car breaks all the time,
Utah Jen 47:50
right? Yeah. Do you think you could
Scott Benner 47:52
if we were wishing for things? Couldn't we just wish for them not to have dents in type one diabetes, instead of this? This is an odd wish to have. Yeah, I get people intent. But it's odd.
Utah Jen 48:02
Yeah. Like if my little boy was to go and have kids, the one would dent he would if he had boys. It would be gone. And it wouldn't be passed down the family. But if he had girls, they would be they would have a 5050 chance of becoming a carrier. Or no, they would be 100%. carrier. So it all depends on what Luke has for kids. Yeah. And but I have to say, I have to follow it with this being the determined mom that I am and the one that's not going to let just anything just be like, okay, here it is. When I was told that he had it, I sat there and I'm like, okay, medicine has come so far. And I know that we're not to where I'm just going to be like, okay, he has this rare disease. That's it. I searched and searched and searched and I found a top notch medical center back east. And I've met with them. And we are funding a research project with them to to try to find a way to genetically modify the chromosomes of the of the kidney, or the DNA where that disease is, and so there's a specific spot on the DNA where it's affected. And there's this thing called CRISPR. And it's a genetic editing tool. Like Think of it as little. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. So we have a different we have two different ways that they're that they're researching it, but CRISPR is one of them. And we've funded it and we're in the we're beginning the third year of it, they've created a colony of mice that have done disease, and they are now going in and testing the DNA to see if they can extract that defective part and replace it with a non defective part in reverse the disease
Scott Benner 49:58
genetic engineering That's very cool.
Utah Jen 50:01
It's pretty amazing. So I have to say that, you know, by the time it's, it's a problem for him, hopefully later in life, we're going to have a cure for it. And I'm pretty proud to say that, you know, I have been moving along. Yeah. Yeah, that's very cool.
Scott Benner 50:19
I don't, I can't imagine how just comforting that feels to be able to do something towards a possibility.
Utah Jen 50:27
Hundred percent. Yeah. There. I just wasn't okay with just letting sitting there and letting it go. Because there's no research on it. Because it's so rare. Type One, diabetes has a ton of research, obviously, right? But this, there's none, because the NIH doesn't want it. They don't want to have anything to do with it. Because it's so rare. So the only way that these rare diseases ever get figured out is by families. And luckily, my father in law in my mother in law, were kind enough to help us with this and to put the money into the research it and I pray to God that every day that it that it works out, and I have these amazing doctors that are world renowned working on it with us, and I just feel so I just that's that's my hope, you know, so it gives me that whenever I get scared and nervous. I just think of that and go Okay, you know, I have I have an amazing team working on this everyday for us right now. Literally for my boy,
Unknown Speaker 51:25
that's excellent.
Utah Jen 51:26
Good for you. So, yeah, it's pretty cool. It really
Scott Benner 51:29
is. I mean, when you stop and think about this, these little ideas, like I mean, right now, like I'm saying, Arden's got no. constant tension, like muscle tension, right. And it stopped her from playing softball. It's, you know, she tried to she was trying to paint her room last night, and she couldn't hold her hands up over her head. She's like, my hands are getting numb. You know, like, so? severe it. Yeah. And it can definitely be and you're trying to figure out everything and and, and you stop and think about what it really is. There's just something like autoimmune, right? If it is, and that something in your body is just telling something. I don't know the details of it, right? But something's telling something, hey, make this stronger, instead of weaker, make this weaker, instead of stronger, you know, inflame here instead of there, or, you know, it's just the oddest thing. It's just, it's a, if it was a computer, you would just, you know, we just tell it, no, stop doing that. And that would be the end of it. And that is really what you're talking about with crispers is going into a gene and saying, hey, look, this thing here, we're gonna remove this and put something in that, that that works better.
Utah Jen 52:38
And then your body will just proliferate it and just, you know, be like, Okay, I see that this is the way that it is now. Yeah. It's pretty amazing.
Scott Benner 52:46
Very cool.
Utah Jen 52:47
Yeah. Yeah, I feel pretty, pretty fortunate that we have it going. I feel that I'm actually trying to do something about it.
Scott Benner 52:53
No, no, I agree with you. I really do. And it's beginning to go back a little bit. There are times when Arden like jokes about, I'm gonna just say like, I'm not gonna have kids I'm gonna adopt. And I do wonder sometimes if she doesn't really mean that if she doesn't mean, like, I don't want to give somebody else diabetes, like like, I don't know, if I've never really asked her she's too young. I think dig into it too much. Because if she's not thinking that I don't want her to
Utah Jen 53:20
write, or Oh, yeah, put it in her brain, right? What are the chances Do you know?
Scott Benner 53:25
I mean, in the end, they're not that much greater. I think the numbers like 10%, or something like that. But I think I don't even think that's how she's thinking about it. I think she's thinking about it of like, okay, so say I have a kid that doesn't have type one diabetes, and he has a kid that doesn't have type one diabetes, but three generations later, someone does again, and could I have put a stop to that? Like, like, I think that's what she's thinking about? Like, could I be the one who doesn't let it happen here? And I don't know if that's really well thought out as she's a pretty young person. Or if she even or if I'm misunderstanding or, but I don't know if she did it. I don't I think I would think of it as a kind of selfless, you know, yeah. And so I don't know, I really have no idea what's going to end up happening. But I can tell you that I've spoken to people who just very recently, a woman who told me like I am I'm not having kids because my life experience. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put it on somebody else. You know, so I was like, okay,
Utah Jen 54:30
geez, that's amazing. You know, I, I look at it as
it's a hurdle, and it sucks ass. Bad. But I also am trying to teach them that everybody in this world has something either. If we don't have it right now, we're going to have it and it could be bad. It could be a nuisance, and it could just be like, you know, whatever. But somebody is always going to have something and um, And I've really been trying to teach them to, to not just look at the, at the person, but you know, deep down, you know, the kid next to you in class could have could have a G tube and have to have tube feedings. And you don't know about it, you know, the kid next to you could have had a open heart surgery or a heart transplant. You know, I mean, there's so many things that kids have and deal with every day. And type ones manageable. And I've learned that from the past. Yeah, however many years, it's manageable, it's sucks. It's a disease. But you know what? I think the more that you give them, the power and the confidence in it. And you know what, and just to let them my little boy has a therapist that they talk to every week. And just letting them voice their anxiety and their frustrations in their their worries. helps a lot. Because it's true. I mean, it's scary. And it's it all of a sudden takes over your whole world. And it brings out anxiety in kids a lot. And I agree, I sit there. And I'm like, What the heck is going to happen? And when they turn teenagers that that worries me?
Scott Benner 56:16
Yeah, yeah, I think that's that other person's point, too. Is that not? Maybe it isn't even so much? Like, I don't want to put somebody else through this, but I don't know if I have it in me to basically do it again. You know, like and watch it, you know, is hard enough doing it? Now I'm gonna watch somebody do it. I just think that some people, they don't want that they can't handle it. And you know, I think good for them to for realizing what they can and can't handle to
Utah Jen 56:42
Oh, yeah, you know, it 100%
Scott Benner 56:46
it's a it's a lot. Well, Jen, Listen, I'll tell you what I figured out here in the first bit of this conversation is that of the people from Utah who come on the show, of which if you listen, you know, there are many, you're clearly not Mormon, because you've cursed about a million times since we've been.
Utah Jen 57:01
And I've actually toned it down a little bit.
Scott Benner 57:04
Yeah, I know that. from talking to you privately. This easily could have devolved into just me saying and you saying other things like that? Oh, totally the whole time. easily could have gone that way. But yeah, wow. Uh, geez.
Utah Jen 57:21
Born and raised in Utah. And never, I was never, never LDS and I attended a high school that I was the only non Mormon High School in, or no, a non Mormon person
Unknown Speaker 57:31
in that school. Mm hmm. That's interesting. Pretty interesting. Yeah. So
Scott Benner 57:39
I wonder if you wouldn't tell me a little bit about you. You talked about your husband's reaction to the dense diagnosis. How did it How did it hit him? The type one a year later? Was it just were we just numb by them were just like, was waiting for something like this? Or, you know, how do you feel then,
Utah Jen 57:58
um, I it hit him hard to it was on May 9, when we were diagnosed, and his birthday was on the 11th. And so we were still in the hospital for that. And I remember driving to the hospital. And I was just in this daze. And he was sitting next to me. And I took his hand and I said, You know what, we have to be so strong right now. And I already knew that we were struggling from the previous diagnosis. Because we were both mentally trying to figure it out, and to come to terms with it. And I said, this is not something that we can't have amazing communication with, like,
this is gonna bring us to a whole other level. And
he just sat there, just looking ahead, and he's like, okay, okay. You know, I mean, he, he was just, you could tell he was just shocked. just scared. And he didn't know what to think. I don't think he knew like the he didn't know the extent of what it was going to be. And then they had, and then he dropped us off at the hospital. And then we stayed the night, and I stayed with him. And he went home with my little boy. And, of course, just sat and thought about it, and was like, and researched it, and then it kind of hit him. And he's like, Oh, my God, like this is non reversible. This is never gonna go away. And it's 24. Seven, all the time. You don't get a break from it. And it hit him hard.
Scott Benner 59:35
Yeah, well, you got that. All right. Well, listen, I mean, you can try to be upbeat about it and say that this is the these are the cards you have and you need to play them, you know, whatever metaphor makes you comfortable. And I believe that and I definitely operate that way. It doesn't stop me from wondering if there isn't a barrier that if we push past I my brain just When God bless, you know, that would be enough for may be too much. But, you know, until then I just you just keep doing the things you need to do the things you're supposed to do and the things that work and have the the foresight to look and see the things that aren't working. You know, look at you, you may have really saved your son by, by balking at that that medication, you know, you never know the doctor could have put him on something that would have just burned his kidneys out in, in a year. And you wouldn't, and you would have had to look back and think I gave him that pill every day. Like I did. Like I literally facilitated that somebody else told me to do it, but I handed it to him. And totally Yeah, I think about that a lot with you know, even just thyroid medication, you know, when you're trying to mess around with levels define where it is. And, you know, doctors are like, well, I'll try a little more, try a little less, and they get hyper and then they get you know, you they bring it back a little bit and you're just like, wow, that just happened. Now look at her struggling and I every day said to her, like take this, take this, take this. And I'm doing it on the advice of someone else. But
Unknown Speaker 1:01:09
yeah, but it just it's that
Utah Jen 1:01:11
gut feeling of a parent, and you have it too. I was gonna say the mother's intuition. But those dads, you know, that are with their kids all the time you got you have those gut feelings. And you know, when something's not right,
Scott Benner 1:01:24
yeah, yeah. And then and then I find myself thinking about every day that I don't figure something out for her. I feel like I wasted a day of her life. Yeah, and, you know, it's probably why I figured this all out for insulin and, and put this all together. And then I felt so burdened by it. I thought, Well, how do I not tell someone else? Like, other people feel like this? You know, so I'll put it out to the world and let other people take from it if they will, hopefully, people will find me quirky and hang on to the podcast and learn something like you did. But but just all the other things? I don't know. I just wonder, like yesterday, if Arden didn't feel well, like what would she have done if she felt better? And, you know, and how many other days are going to get pissed away until I can figure out what to do for or come up with the idea that there's nothing to do for at least be able to feel like you exhausted every option. And sadly, you just don't have an option. But But at least I won't wonder, you know, to me, like finding out like you can't impact it would be better than spending every day thinking there was a way to impact it, and you weren't figuring out what it was. I don't know exactly that makes sense or not. But
Utah Jen 1:02:50
100%. I mean, that's exactly where I'm at right here with this research that we're doing. I either could have just sat back and said, Alright, here we go. There's nothing, there's no treatments, you just kind of wait, you have no option. Because there's nobody that knows anything about it. Or you frickin try to figure it out. And if it turns out that nothing can be done, you know what, at least I tried, and at least I put a really, really, really good, valiant effort into it. Right? And it's the same with you, Scott. But I also think that you can sit there and I've learned this over the last three years of chaos, that you can sit there and beat yourself up every day, even though you're not really beating yourself up. But you can think those thoughts and say, What if and why and this and that. And trust me I do every single day. But I also listened to your podcast and I think good lord, this girl is getting so many amazing tools for her life that she is going to be so well taken care of. And no matter what it throws at her. Look what you've done.
Scott Benner 1:04:10
Well, that's very nice. I thank you. I I tried to believe that whether Arden is even aware of what the podcast does or not, that like her life led to other people doing better. Like I I take some solace in the fact that your son is healthier today. Because my daughter has diabetes and
Utah Jen 1:04:33
absolutely and I look at what you post and her graphs and they're beautiful, and how your high is what 120
Scott Benner 1:04:42
we try to react at 120 and you know and stop spikes I consider a pretty major spike 180 that's definitely how my mindset is around it.
Utah Jen 1:04:54
Okay, and see and you've won off on me like that, too. When I see him starting to climb. Done. I deal with it. And it's because of her. And it's because of hearing how her agencies are and that she's basically she's living in a non diabetic agency range. Yeah. And so think of what you're doing for her life in the diabetes realm. Right? So you're taking all of those complications that she could be getting from this later. And you're just you're taking them away, because of what you're doing for her and teaching her. That's huge. Scott,
Scott Benner 1:05:27
I hope so.
Utah Jen 1:05:29
Yeah, it's huge. And so the things that she's, she's a strong, strong girl, and so for her, to be able to overcome whatever's coming up and gonna be, I hope that we're you guys are able to find answers for it. She's going to be okay. And she's going to take it and she's going to be like, you know, what, this probably doesn't compare to what type one is. That's my goal,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:51
like, you know,
Scott Benner 1:05:54
and I do but by the way, a lot of what you said I firmly believe in she is mentally tough, and not in a way where She's ignoring knowing what's happening to her. And she is, she's got a great I don't know, just a vibe about her. That's, that's very positive. Even like, you know, right now, while we're, you know, going through all this, you know, and trying to figure out something new and she's struggling, she still has a very good sense of humor about it. She says funny things like, Hey, tell me the truth? Did you just make me for spare parts for coal, and then just didn't need the parts? And now I'm just rotting away? Like, she's like, what's happened to me? Exactly. And I'm like, No, you know, or so, you know, she's just, I don't know, she just, I know, she's frustrated. And she obviously should be. But it the frustration doesn't get internalized, it doesn't turn into you know, she's not drinking and getting high. And like, you know, like, you know, doing, she's just, she's doing the things she needs to do and, and being patient. And I think a little hopeful. And, you know, I told her last night, I said, Look, I know we're not getting through this very quickly. But I want you to know, like I'm every day mom and I are trying to figure it out. Like we're not, you know, we're not slowing down, we're not stopping it is tough, because you kind of want to just throw all your responsibilities away and just dive into this thing until you can figure it out. But sometimes I think you have to do it, you have to make your way through it, you have to meet a doctor who looks at something and then says, Ah, you know what, he had to go talk to this person instead. And you know, like, there's a process there, like everybody in the world doesn't have all the answers. And there are plenty of people who are, you know, endocrinologist that don't understand diabetes, just like there are plenty of people who are other kinds of doctors who don't really completely understand enough to help a person all the time, you know, what, so you gotta, you got to keep swinging until and make connections until you meet people who, you know, like, are the right people, it's a very random thing. And it's not fair. But
Utah Jen 1:08:02
it is. And another thing I have to say about it, and that I've learned is don't feel that you have to take the medical care that's around you. So like the, like you said, making connections and finding people that are having similar situations and whatever. And then looking outside of that. And like I said, I I have doctors at Rochester in Mayo, Mayo in Rochester, Minnesota, I have doctors in North Carolina, and, you know, these specialists that help provide things that aren't anywhere near Salt Lake that the doctors that I go to don't even know about these doctors. Yeah. And so it's it's finding the people that it's finding them
Scott Benner 1:08:43
and bear out there and being hopeful that it exists to it. And by the way, some people don't even have the, you know, they don't have the money or the or the connections to do things like that. And I think that one thing that I find to be important is that when you eventually end up online looking for answers or support, you have to remember that there are always going to be people who have for probably sometimes very good reasons given up. And they're just in a management scenario. And that might not be the right word Exactly. But just like I'm just gonna get by, like, tell me what I have to do to get by with this. And when you see a lot of those people collected in one place, you have to be careful that you don't expect that that's just, you don't start thinking that's the expectation, this is what's going to happen. Like, I'm going to end up here too, because there are plenty of people who won't end up there if they keep looking for other avenues. And I think that's important not to get sucked into other people's misery. And totally that isn't, that isn't to minimize their misery. But if their pathway didn't lead them to a doctor in North Carolina, when they lived in Utah, or that pathway didn't lead them to a podcast that taught them how to Pre-Bolus or whatever it is, you could end up thinking that there were Reality is the ultimate, you know, this is what's going to happen. And that's, that can very often not be the case, it's just very easy to get sucked into other people's misfortune. And a lot of times support can turn into. There's a word I'm looking for that I can't think of It's, um, I guess misery loves company. There should be a word around that somewhere. But at some point, when you feel like you've reached the end, and there's no answer, and you meet somebody else who does too, that then becomes your bit of hope. But if you're not to that part yet, it could suck you in like a black hole before you have all your chances to try. So I just I'm trying to say to people, like don't give up. And there are a lot of answers for a ton of the things that you're going through.
Utah Jen 1:10:44
Not everybody, follow your gut feelings, follow those instincts. Like if you think something's wrong, follow it. Yeah. And because, you know, you know, best
Scott Benner 1:10:53
and, and hopelessness can be depression, too. Yeah. If you really start feeling hopeless. It's not because there's no hope a lot of times, I mean, listen, don't get me wrong. Some people have no hope. I'm not saying that. But you know, for a lot of people, hopelessness is just is sadness. And it just doesn't mean there's no hope. That's all
Utah Jen 1:11:13
right. There's an even for the people that don't have hope. I think that they they do they just need to find where it is it there's something there? Well,
Scott Benner 1:11:22
yeah, in a very minimal way talking about diabetes. That's part of the reason why I think sharing your success is nice, because a person who feels hopeless can see a, you know, a more stable graph, and think that's not possible. And they can be mad, or they could see it and think, Hmm, maybe there's something I don't know that that person knows. I want to find out what that is, you know, like me, I think other people's success should feel hopeful. Not accusatory, not like, Oh, look, you're not good at it. I am. That's that shouldn't be the case. I think you should let them think, oh, that guy's got to know something. I don't know. I want to find out what it is, you know,
Utah Jen 1:12:02
yeah. And it kept it kept driving me because I kept hearing people that you had on the podcast that would listen to you for a couple months, and then be like, I got it, you know, like, beauty. And I'm like, What the hell? Why can I not get this? And?
Scott Benner 1:12:17
Well, it turns out, your brains were scrambled.
Utah Jen 1:12:19
It was it was too much like my brain It was my brain was just not it was not functioning it was in it was in survival mode. And now that it's not, and I mean, it's it's awesome. Like Farrell, there's days, I love those days like that you talk about the days that you don't even really mention the word. And, and Arden doesn't really think about it, you know, granted, does she think about it, when you have those days, I don't know.
Scott Benner 1:12:48
We're at least not talking about it. It's not a subject of conversation. It's not eating up minutes and seconds and hours of days. So I mean, I'm sure it's in the back of your head, like I said, like that this, you know, a buzzing sound or a light that won't turn off when you want to go to sleep, but it's not overwhelming. And it's not the first thing at the front of your head. And I think
Unknown Speaker 1:13:06
she going back to school.
Scott Benner 1:13:08
No, no, she's gonna do it from home again for another semester.
Utah Jen 1:13:11
Yeah, am I? Well, just because she likes it.
Or is it because I've had the option? Uh huh. And
Scott Benner 1:13:20
I think she liked it better. Yeah. So as long as the option existed, I'm think she's like, oh, I'll do this. Yeah, plus, it gives us a good chance to, you know, work through everything else that's happening, because there are times where she's, she's very tired. And just you know, and so she can at least get up and make it downstairs and do her schoolwork. She doesn't have to get up and take a shower and get dressed and do a whole thing. So buys us a little more time to kind of figure out what's up.
Utah Jen 1:13:48
Are you guys, um, do you think you're close to to maybe figuring something out? Do you feel that way? Well, we
Scott Benner 1:13:53
were it's, you know, it's a process of elimination. I think it ends up being so I you know, we're we have actually an appointment a couple of hours to talk with a doctor about her last bloodwork. And I think we're going to get her, her thyroid medication definitely settled into where it belongs. And then I'm not sure if she might offer up one more suggestion here. And then if that doesn't clear, the muscle pain and the kind of the, the soreness, then I didn't we'll move on to I mean, I'm guessing a rheumatologist next and try to pick through that. I mean, it's not you have to understand that it's not so terrible that she's not curled up in a ball, right? Like it's, it's just it's muscle tension. painful joints, sometimes not always. And then, you know, more painful sometimes than others I should say. And she'll sometimes say like, it feels like our bones are bruised. It's the way she describes it. So, you know, we'll we'll follow that path and see where that takes us. Next.
Utah Jen 1:15:05
Yeah, it's hard to see your children in pain.
Scott Benner 1:15:07
It certainly is. Yeah, definitely not something I would recommend.
Utah Jen 1:15:12
No. Yeah. But it makes it makes you as a parent stronger. And it makes you and your child's relationship stronger to in a weird. Not okay way.
Scott Benner 1:15:25
I hear what you're saying. As long as it doesn't kill me. I guess I'll be alright.
Utah Jen 1:15:30
Yeah. And as long as it as long as it doesn't take you to where you can only handle like it's true. Your brain in your body, as a human can only handle so much stress until it will just be like, can you have done? Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:15:43
That's off. So you don't make yourself completely insane.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:45
Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:46
yeah. Well, I mean, hopefully you can come back from it.
Scott Benner 1:15:50
Alright, well, I feel like this was uplifting. And at the same time, I can't be certain.
Utah Jen 1:15:55
Right? It's it's life, Scott, it's life. It's the way it hands it to you. And it's the way that you're going to take it and look at it and tackle it. I'm not going to let I'm not going to let these two things. Bring my kids down. They're going to live an amazing life and become amazing men, with amazing families and live to be grandpa's, you know, that's, that's what we're going to do. And they're going to take life and they're just going to be like, Okay, let's do it. I'm strong. I'm a badass little boy. And I'm going to become a badass man. And I'm going to conquer it.
Scott Benner 1:16:31
I always think of it this way, I think we're going to figure it out. And I genuinely believe we're going to, but if we don't, whatever that whatever it is. I guarantee you that my last breath, I'll be swinging. Like I'm not, I am not giving up until the very, like, you're gonna have to take me out of this for me to give up. Yeah, you know, so I am definitely going down swinging, that's for sure.
Utah Jen 1:16:54
Yep. Arden's got a good team on her side. And you will, you won't, you won't let things go, you're going to figure it out for her, and she's going to be better, and she's already better in the long run. And she's gonna be set up for a beautiful life. Well,
Scott Benner 1:17:09
I hope to, um, I hope to be able to report back those sorts of things. And you know, one positive thing from all this is that the endocrinologist that we found that's helping her with the thyroid stuff, even if the thyroid stuff doesn't end up being the entirety of the issue. I'm going to get her on the podcast, and she's going to talk about thyroid in a way that most people don't get to hear about this is going to be really valuable for you. And this wouldn't happen, I wouldn't have met her I wouldn't have been able to bring her on the show eventually. And you know, she asked that we have to wait, obviously until she's done treating Arden. But yeah. But after that happens, you know, we've met another person and we can spread good information to to more people. So
Utah Jen 1:17:47
yep. Because thyroid disease is a whole other ballgame that is very, very deep.
Scott Benner 1:17:51
Yeah. Yeah. It's not easy. That's for certain. All right, Jen, thank you very much for doing this. I'm so happy that you're in a better space. You know, yeah, it's been really cool to get to know you over these couple of years, then to bring it together with this episode. I've liked this so much. I'm putting this out very soon. Just saying Oh,
Utah Jen 1:18:08
thanks, Scott. And I, I have to say that the way that we treat our son in his diabetes is a lot. Not a lot, I would say 98% of what I've learned from you not Mar endocrinologists, because as you say, they, they keep them alive, right. And they don't care if they're sitting pretty at a 200. And so I have to give everything that we're doing to your advice. And I take that to Honest to God, the deepest parts of my heart for thank yous because it's, it's pretty amazing what you're doing. I feel
Scott Benner 1:18:43
like you're trying to make me cry, john.
Utah Jen 1:18:46
It's true, though, like you, the impact that you're doing for people all across the world is a big deal. And I can't my husband and I and my family can't thank you enough. So
Scott Benner 1:18:57
it is just so much. It is very much My pleasure. I mean that it's helping people it's helping me. Yes, just so you know, you know, every day I can't fix everything in my life for for my kids. And I hear about somebody like you or people listening or having more success makes everything feel better. You know?
Utah Jen 1:19:16
Yeah. So you're making a difference. And, you know, when you die. My grandpa always said this. My grandpa always said this, when you die, you want to know that? You know, it doesn't matter what you have, it doesn't matter what you have next to you as far as material things or how much money you have in the bank. It's what you've done in order to make a difference in people's lives. No, and you will literally I look at you and I say you know you're the type of man and your family is the type of family that is able to, to carry that and to show the impact that you've made on so many people's lives.
Scott Benner 1:19:50
This is very kind of you just say thank you. I thought you were just gonna say you're gonna come to my funeral, but never mind. I just want one person to show up at the end and be like hey, cuz you know, the people I grew up with, they're gonna be like that, guys. Like, what are we talking about right now? Why are people sad? I would need like, I need you tell Jen to stand up and be like, No, listen. I just need one of you. Y'all don't have to come just one of you, please.
Utah Jen 1:20:10
Because I'll be there. How's that? Don't make it anytime soon? No, no, I'm just
Scott Benner 1:20:14
saying, you know, some of those kids I went to high school with, they know me like 30 years ago, there'll be like, wait, the guy who made the dumb jokes. That's the guy you know. And I'm like,
Utah Jen 1:20:23
they know while they're working their nine to five you're changing lives.
Scott Benner 1:20:27
Now. You got to thank this microphone and technology, by the way, cuz seriously, I would be yelling out of window if it wasn't for the internet and, and how some of this stuff has become so available for people to talk to each other. It really is amazing.
Utah Jen 1:20:41
I have recommended your podcast I don't I can't even tell you how many people Thank you. I randomly working in the hospital and working with newly diagnosed type one diabetics. I'm like, you've got to let this the first thing I write down on their discharge paperwork.
Scott Benner 1:20:55
Oh, that's so cool. I really mean, and it's nice if you that you're going to go into the community and like it made me feel like recently you said like, I'm going to go work at this place. I thought, Oh, wow. Like something I said, might come out of Jen's mouth one day and help somebody
Utah Jen 1:21:10
like that. Are you kidding me and the interview that I had, I said I don't think of diabetes as a typical person who thinks of diabetes. And I used your words. I said I you have to be bold with insulin, and you can't be afraid of it. And they don't even diagnose it. Or they don't even prescribe insulin to their patients. Because they don't have the the employees and the medical professionals to follow up on it to see how it's working for them. So it's all oral meds are like Lantus. They don't do fast acting because of that. And I said, well, we're gonna we're gonna change lives. And literally, it's because of the way that you're helping me. Give a lot about it,
Scott Benner 1:21:53
Jen, I know you're tall but you're not allowed to people in the house. That's illegal. Just
Utah Jen 1:21:58
that's my dog. bazel is a French Bulldog, right?
Scott Benner 1:22:00
He's a mix, but he's got a lot of French in him.
Utah Jen 1:22:03
Okay, I have a French and an English. So that was my English.
Scott Benner 1:22:06
Well, you know what I'm gonna let you go. But as you're talking about sharing, then telling people about the podcast, it made me pull us up to look. And a second ago, we were 370 downloads away from 2 million and I refreshed it just now. And now we're 320 downloads away from 2 million so I really appreciate when people share the show. Because if this doesn't help anybody else, I just don't have the like, that's the one thing I can't do you know, is I can't go find people.
Utah Jen 1:22:37
Well, I'm telling you this you're gonna be a it's gonna be the first thing I'm telling you on this on this paperwork I give to patients and teach them.
Scott Benner 1:22:45
Thank you. I really appreciate that. I really
Utah Jen 1:22:47
well, I appreciate you. Alright, have a great day. Okay, Scott, take care.
Scott Benner 1:22:51
Yeah. Well, for someone who doesn't live anywhere near the ocean, Jen short can curse like a sailor catchy. Thanks so much to Jen for coming on the show and telling the story of both of her sons and her life being the caregiver of children. You know, with issues that are our daily. I really thought this was terrific. I really just did. The Who else? Oh, Dexcom. Thank you Dexcom, makers of the G six continuous glucose monitor, please go to dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to find out more. And if you want to no obligation demo of the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump sent right to your home, my omnipod.com Ford slash juice box. And if you want to do the podcast a favor, go into those show notes and click on my link. Can you do that and click like like or type it in the way I set it exactly. My omnipod.com forward slash juice box. And then dexcom.com forward slash juice box let the sponsors know you came from me. And that way they'll keep being sponsors and you'll keep getting a free podcast. Don't forget the giveaway lasts the entire month of August 2020. So go to Juicebox podcast.com. At the top of the page, you can click on the link that says to millions. And when you get there, it's easy to enter. There's nothing to do to enter. As a matter of fact, you can enter once a day every day in August of 2020 What can you win a Juicebox Podcast sweatshirt, some Omni pod t shirts, Lily's chocolate gift pack, a 30 minute consultation with Jenny Smith CDE a bunch of Dexcom swag, some touched by type one goodness, and anything else I can find a throw in here. And I think I'm trying to get you a meter from contour. I'm working on that. I'm not sure if that's like a thing you're allowed to give away or not. But I'm gonna find out. That's me. I'm out there swinging for you. Okay, check it out. Thank you for helping me celebrate the 2 million downloads of the podcast which actually happened yesterday. During that doctor's appointment that I mentioned for Arden's telehealth thing that you kind of heard in the in the episode I know this is crazy that there's an episode coming out the week. It's recorded. It's probably frying your mind. But while we were on that call with the doctor, when we got off, I refresh my screen. And we jumped right past 2 million. So I missed it, it's gonna take a screen grab of is a little excited. I don't know what I would do with the screen grab, then once I had it, I'd be like, Oh, look, I have a screen bad numbers, two, comma, a couple zeros, comma, more zeros. Not sure what I would have done with that. Nevertheless, enter the giveaway. Get the swag. If you're looking for it, check out you know, maybe a win Jenny two. It'd be goodness for you. You know what I mean? Just help me celebrate the 2 million. I really appreciate. Every time you share the show with someone else, it grows the way it does, completely because of you. And you know, I've never done this before. But if I hit refresh now, so I checked how many downloads the podcast had, like 15 minutes ago. It has 123 more downloads than it did 15 minutes ago. Isn't that cool? is a very exciting. That's you guys. That's you finding the show, thinking it's great telling somebody else about it. That's you leaving great reviews on Apple podcasts so that when people get on there, they can say, Hey, I think this is a podcast I should check out. So whatever you can do to help spread the word. Thank you. I hope the giveaway is in some way. You know, an actual Thank you. But I mean, only one of you is gonna win it. So I mean, for the rest of you just know that I wanted to send that to everyone. I just thought What am I gonna do? If you tell somebody do about the show constantly. And you've already left a great review, and you're still thinking like, how can I help the podcast? start picking up random strangers iPhones, opening the podcast app and subscribing to the show? That's one idea. Thank you so much for listening to the Juicebox Podcast, tell a friend hit subscribe. Are you not subscribing subscribing your app, do it now. Get in there. Push the button, push it, push it. I'm being serious for a second. If you're the person who listens to the end of an hour and a half long podcast episode and you're not subscribed to an app. You're killing me. You understand? You're it's as if you're standing on my chest and jumping up and down on my heart. I just I would just, it would break my heart to know that you are not subscribed in an app.
I'm thinking about it now. Yeah, it's making me nauseous. You have to subscribe me You love the show. You got to subscribe. You don't love it. Don't subscribe. I hear what you're saying. But if you love it, I mean, it's an hour and a half in I'm babbling away at this point, push subscribe. Do you know if all of you who are just listening like I'll just download it once in a while, or I'll listen on the web. If you all just hit subscribe right now on a podcast app. Boom. We blow up like crazy on Apple podcasts jump right to the top. I mean, we're like around number 20. In our I'm now saying us like there's someone else. It's just me Just so you know. I'm like the entire podcast but but but the point is, is we we I think I mean me in the podcast. Why don't we just say the podcast the podcast would jump up to the top of its Oh, how exciting would that be if it jumped right up to the top of its little thing there where it's put in with other podcasts that are in the health and fitness category in medicine? Hmm. I'll tell you what, here's something I should do. Since I'm babbling on, like a lunatic. Let me tell you something here. I mean, throw some thank yous around. Here is a list of charts that we are currently charting on. Again, I said we makes me feel strange. I meant the podcast. Here we go. You ready? Thank you. United States of America for consistently putting me in the top 25 in my category. Thank you to Great Britain. for having me in the top 150 Canada seriously, top 15 way to be Australia. You're falling behind Canada here. I'm 117 over there. Germany to 14 I appreciate it Sweden. I don't know like it seems to be dropping in Sweden new Swedish people need to download some more episodes. Number 50 in Russia number 194. Norway number 29 excuse me number 29 in Norway actually getting in the in the parent. I see or 194 in the parental category number 29 in the sub category in Norway. Yo what's up Norway? Are you getting a shout for that baby? Ireland number 60 Thank you Denmark number 72 Thank you, the Netherlands 133 eu Netherlands is another one of those parent things in the parent category were 133 in the medicine category number four. Yo what's up Netherlands? New Zealand just felt 10 New Zealand at number 37 don't love that New Zealand get on it. download some episodes. Switzerland number 90, Austria 69 South Africa Belgium Singapore, Israel, Finland, the United Arab Emirates, Egypt and Qatar. I know Qatar you're like damn, did he say that right? Even though you put a queue at the beginning your name, I said Qatar the way I was supposed to. Thank you so much all of you all over the world for listening and for sharing. Do it more, more sharing, more listening, more subscribing. There can't possibly be anyone left listening at this point. I'm I'm now 100% sure I'm talking to myself. Hey, so it is 90 minutes since I recorded that last sentence. And I got motivated to do something that Non Us listeners have been asking for for a long time, which is to make an easy conversion chart. So when I say something like Arden's blood sugar was 120 You don't have to go I don't know what that means. You can just look at the chart and see that means 6.7. Anyway, Juicebox podcast.com, forward slash conversion. And I'm looking into putting a calculator on there as well. But for now, it's just the chart Juicebox podcast.com, forward slash conversion. I'm really sorry to everyone overseas, that it took me so long to do this. I have heard you're just countless, countless times that you've asked and I just haven't had time until right now. It was thanking everybody from overseas and I'm like, you know what, what am I doing here? I got to make this chart. I hope you like it. I'll talk to you next time.
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#366 Kelly with a Y
Kelly is a D-Mom of a three year old
Cory is a T1D mom and Justin is her grown son living with type 1 diabetes.
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Scott Benner 0:02
Today's show is sponsored by touched by type one, and the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. Touched by type one is an organization that has programs and services for those living with the daily reality of type one diabetes. They offer a supportive community. And many, many interactive programs, and creative resources that are designed to empower people to thrive with type one. Check them out at touched by type one.org, you can take one simple step to upgrade your diabetes care, this is going to be incredibly easy for you to do go to Contour Next one.com Ford slash juice box to check out the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. This is the same meter that my daughter has been using for a while now. And it is absolutely the most accurate, easy to transport easy to use bright lighted good test strip blood glucose meter that I've ever held my hand Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox. It's even possible that what you're paying for your meter and test strips right now through your insurance company so subsidized by your insurance company that could actually be more expensive than just the cash price of the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. And that in itself is worth checking into Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. There are links to the advertisers right there in the show notes of your podcast player, or they're available at Juicebox podcast.com. But if you can just remember, Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box and touched by type one.org. Well, then you've got all you need.
Hello, everybody. Welcome to Episode 366 of the Juicebox Podcast. This episode is just incredibly conversational. And so it's hard for me to even pick out something to say Oh, it's about this because it's just a good conversation. There's a D mom named Kelly, and she has a child with Type One Diabetes. It's just a good conversation. And I think you're gonna really love it. So this is me and Kelly. Now my Kelly different Kelly. Kelly's gonna have a baby. At the time of this recording. She knew the sex of the baby but hadn't told her husband I think she tells me at the end, what kind of a baby it's gonna be you know, there's only two kinds, right? You could have like a boy baby or a girl baby, they come out either or usually. And she'll tell you which one. And that's pretty much it. We'll have a really nice conversation about living with Type One Diabetes. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin. There is still time to enter the big giveaway that is celebrating 2 million downloads of the Juicebox Podcast go to Juicebox Podcast calm at the top of the screen. I think something there says 2 million you click on that. It's easy to enter. There's nothing for you to do. And you can enter once a day through the entirety of August 2020. Check out the gifts that I've been able to pull together for this extravaganza and see if you don't want to throw in your you know your info there and try to win. I don't keep your email address from this. Nothing. There's nothing that comes to this for me, you just want to you is gonna win the prizes. That's it. I'm just trying to celebrate very happy you guys share the show. I mean, 2 million downloads is a heck of a lot of downloads for a type one diabetes podcast. So my respect, thank you very much. And hope you win. Good luck. All right, here's Kelly. I have to admit that I don't remember why we said you were going to be on the podcast. So this is perfect for me.
Kelly 3:55
Because honestly, neither do I. I think I just like I had started listening. And I was like, Oh, cool. You just talk to random people. Like I'm a random person. Let's do this.
Scott Benner 4:04
I'm a random person.
Kelly 4:05
Yeah, but really, my biggest thing is like my daughter was 22 months at diagnosis. So you know, I feel like we have that in common because obviously it was really little but I hear from a lot of people online. They're like, Oh my god, I don't know how parents of toddlers do it. It's like, well, you do. You don't have a choice. Yeah.
Scott Benner 4:22
Because there's no receipt that allows you to take a child back to the store.
Kelly 4:25
had a question? I know obviously, like, I'm not Kevin Sayer or like someone super important. So this isn't going up like tomorrow. But do you have any idea how long it'll be before it airs?
Scott Benner 4:36
Did you enjoy the one yesterday with Megan Did you hear that?
Kelly 4:39
I'm like halfway through it. I work from home all the time now. So I never have time to like drive anywhere and listen to it because I just listened to my car.
Scott Benner 4:47
I recorded that one in April.
Kelly 4:49
Okay, so it'll be a while. Well, and I only asked because I am six months pregnant right now and I know what we're having. My husband does not so I don't want him to like find out on your podcast but it sounds like all have had the baby before. This is great before anything happened by the way.
Scott Benner 5:07
This is great. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, I will not put it out before you have your baby. But I am trying to do fewer. My wife would be so proud of me just now that I didn't say less fewer recordings in the beginning of the the year right here, because I'm a little too far recorded ahead at this point. Like I have to admit when I put Baggins out yesterday, I thought it should not be nine months, like to get to get her recording out. So um, yeah, trying to use some
Kelly 5:34
things come up, though, like, you know, the Dexcom issue that happened over Thanksgiving. Like, that's kind of something you need to put out there. And
Scott Benner 5:43
thank you for understanding Kelly. I appreciate this. Yeah, totally. You're making me uncomfortable because women named Kelly are not that frequently nice to me.
Kelly 5:52
I'm sure she loves you. She stuck around.
Scott Benner 5:55
I mean, where's she gonna go? The kids look, or your podcast
Kelly 5:57
is finally making some money, right?
Scott Benner 6:00
She's like, No, I can't go now. The guy's finally bringing in a couple of bucks right now. So anyway, why don't we just do this? Everyone? This is Kelly. With Kelly's daughter, tell me your daughter's name.
Unknown Speaker 6:15
Alexis
Scott Benner 6:16
was diagnosed when she was 22 months old. How old? is she now?
Kelly 6:20
She turned three yesterday. Oh,
Scott Benner 6:23
so we're, um, a year? A little over a year? You're two months?
Kelly 6:27
Yeah, a year in two months. Exactly. And
Scott Benner 6:29
in the middle of figuring out diabetes. I'm starting to feel like you didn't get pregnant on purpose with this baby.
Kelly 6:37
Oddly enough, we were like about to start trying like the month that she was diagnosed. And then obviously stress just did its thing and kept that away. But yeah, we kind of got a better handle on things and figured Yeah, well keep going with this. Right. But this is the last baby we're gonna be having for sure.
Scott Benner 6:56
One that year. So you're six months pregnant. Now the one you're pregnant with right now is how many babies for you?
Kelly 7:01
It'll be baby two. And final?
Scott Benner 7:04
Yes. I feel like two is a nice number. Yes, it is. Really as as last night Arden was you know, doing her homework? And I'm like, Oh my gosh, if there was another kid still that was younger, like, what would we do? Yeah, you don't even like like, I'm right now looking at her at 930 at night thinking. Just go to bed. I don't care what grade you get. Please, I'm tired.
Kelly 7:28
Like, yeah, we're still a ways off from like dealing with school and stuff. But it is like it's kind of nerve wracking, like, purposefully bringing another child into the world after you already have a type one diagnosis. You know, like, I know a lot of people that have multiple children, but you know, one or even two or three of them are diagnosed like later, you've already got the kids, you know, but we're like, we had type one with our first kid. And now we're still consciously doing it again.
Scott Benner 7:57
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say Is that you? You may you you didn't get like I have six kids. And now one of them has diabetes. You're like, I'm gonna make another one on purpose now.
Kelly 8:06
Yeah. And hope he doesn't have type one. But you know, if it does, then we know what to do, I guess.
Scott Benner 8:13
Yeah, no, I hear you. I am. I wonder if now that we're done joking around about how many children? I wonder if I was the person I am today. If I was that person, 10 years ago, I wonder if we would have had a third child? Sometimes. So yeah, that person then couldn't have imagined being not completely dumbfounded. 24 hours a day by diabetes, you know? Oh, yeah. I just felt like I was gonna be like that forever.
Kelly 8:42
Yeah, I go see my ob. And she's like, Oh, where are you getting enough sleep? I'm like, Well, I have a three year old who's diabetic. So No, I don't. But thanks.
Scott Benner 8:50
And even if you just had a three year old, you probably wouldn't be.
Kelly 8:52
Right. Exactly.
Scott Benner 8:54
All right here. Okay. So listen, I just saw you put a photo of your daughter up in the Facebook group the other day, and she was just absolutely adorable. Was that for a birthday? Or who we
Kelly 9:08
thought was her third birthday yesterday?
Scott Benner 9:11
Oh, yesterday?
Unknown Speaker 9:13
Yeah. Very nice.
Scott Benner 9:16
might be the episode title. Happy birthday. How is it? Having a three year old with diabetes? What's her level of understanding of what's happening with her life? day to day?
Kelly 9:30
Um, I don't know. Like she doesn't know a difference because we've been at it a little over a year now. And this is just like, this is her but she she understands you know, when we say it's time for a sensor change for Dexcom or time for a site change for her pump. You know, she she has the anxiety around it because obviously I imagine the pump side change hurts. So she doesn't love it. But you know, she understands she knows when we tell her like Hey, you got to sit Still, so we can dose you. She'll stand still. So let us do her thing with her pump. And she doesn't, you know, she doesn't mess with it herself. We have the T slim, so we keep it in a little fanny pack. Yeah. So just sits on her back all day and night. And, you know, she just kind of leaves it alone. So
Scott Benner 10:17
she doesn't pull out it. I wonder if it's a boy or girl
Unknown Speaker 10:19
thing
Scott Benner 10:20
cuz I was just talking to somebody the days like my son won't leave stuff alone. It's like, I wonder if that's how bad I'm sure there's girls who don't like it either.
Kelly 10:29
Yeah, it's either that or just like, like I said, she was so little, like, we got Dexcom, about seven weeks after diagnosis. So she's actually had that just about a full year at this point. And I mean, at two years old, you don't know a difference. So I guess either. Yeah, the kids are gonna pull at it because like, this is not natural. Or it's just a part of them. Now. She just leaves it alone.
Scott Benner 10:52
Well, how did you figure out that, um, that she had diabetes? Did you figure it out? or was she diagnosed through now?
Kelly 11:01
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a totally typical Google symptoms of everything. You know, with the difference of a two year old is not going to tell you they feel dizzy, or they don't feel good or a stomach hurts or something. So, you know, it was probably it. Well, it was November 6, was when she was diagnosed. So we're like a week past Halloween. And of course, it was the first Halloween that she was like running around and actually trick or treating and getting the eat most of the candy and have fun with it and stuff. And I looking back on photos now I can tell she was super skinny. But you know, you don't see them losing weight right in front of your eyes when you see him every day. So she looking back. She definitely looks sick. But she seemed to feel fine. And I'm thinking cool. I got the only two year old in the world who's like, eating anything and everything we put in front of her like we're doing something right. But no, she was just starving. So yeah, she was eating a lot. The biggest thing was like she would pee through her diapers like, even the overnight ones that are meant fairly crazy thickness and stuff like nothing was stopping that She'd wake up in the middle of a two hour nap or the middle of the night and just yell for water. Which you know, we live in Arizona, it's hot here. I figure Okay, like she just is thirsty. And I didn't know anything about it. So I didn't even think to Google the symptoms. I took her pediatrician at one point thinking it was a UTI. And the nurse practitioner who I don't see anymore, had asked briefly, does diabetes run in your family? Nothing else around that? And I'm like, No, that's a weird question. And that was it like no finger poke no further why she was asking that just that was it. And they gave her some, I think an antibiotic or something saying Well, I don't think it's a UTI. But if it is, so clear it up. And a week later, she's doing the heavy breathing like super lethargic, just not wanting to get out of bed, didn't eat anything that day. took her to the babysitter anyways, because of course we all had to go to work. And then by like five o'clock that night, I'm taking her to urgent care because something weird going on. And yeah, I mean, after 10 minutes in urgent care, the doctor is like, Okay, well, we're gonna, we're gonna do all these tests to rule different things out. And of course, she starts with a heel stick, because I think she knew and just didn't want to freak me out. But get that number back was like 480 something which I'm like, cool, high score. I don't know what that means.
Scott Benner 13:40
Finally, and she's like,
Kelly 13:42
yeah, she's like, well, it really shouldn't be over like 150 considering she hasn't eaten anything all day, like, Oh, okay. So after a couple of minutes of crying in the doctor's office at urgent care, she's like, okay, now you need to pull it together and you need to take her straight to the Children's Hospital. Don't stop for anything, just go like, we'll call ahead and let them know. And so yeah, we took her in and two days in the PICU and two days on the general floor, we're set home with our new life.
Scott Benner 14:12
Hey, listen, I'm just realizing something. Do you spell your name one way and pronounce it a different way? No, no. Do you know your Facebook say fit page says pronounces name. Ke Li.
Kelly 14:26
Oh, really? Yeah, I had no idea.
Scott Benner 14:28
That's weird. Okay, fix that. We'll do that. I'm like, I'm like here's what I was thinking when it popped up in front of me. You're finishing up your story. And I'm just checking because your kid really is adorable. So I'm going to look at a picture like this right while you're talking and and I'm looking over to says pronounce his name Keeley. And I was like, am I talking to a lunatic who spells their name Kelly and says Keeley and I should know that if I am absolutely
Kelly 14:53
Kelly. Yeah, that's how your wife spells it too. Right Kate? yelloweye
Scott Benner 14:57
Yeah, I believe there's like two ways to Well, Kelly Yeah, there's
Kelly 15:01
Oh, there's multiples fully. Here's
Scott Benner 15:04
why. And I and I is crazy. All right.
Kelly 15:07
Yeah, I can just I too, which is kind of cool. Oh,
Scott Benner 15:10
my gosh, yeah, Bedlam. But yes, but Okay, so I just want to make sure you went nuts. And now that I more comfortable that you're not. I want to know a little more about your experience being diagnosed because, and this is tough, because, you know, I think at this point, the podcast is well listened to enough around the country, and other places where if you say something off color about your children's hospital, they might hear. So right. I don't want you to do that. But I've been to Arizona to talk. Right. And I know the difference between people complaining to complain, like, you know, jumping on the internet to say something they don't like, because they want to get it out, or saying something when you bump into something and hearing very similar stories over and over again, that seemed like they have more than a grain of truth to them. Is there an issue with how you guys are? assisted? Like, what? Or did you feel good about? What you got from the hospital when you were leaving? And how has it proven out over the last year?
Kelly 16:20
Um, it's weird, I guess, because I mean, I, we really only have two children's hospitals here. So you're going to one or the other. Most of the time you start by whatever is closest to you. And then you continue with, obviously what insurance covers. So it's not like we've had the opportunity to like, go to different doctors or anything, but we love ours, like we met him through and I believe you know, him, he was on the panel with you. But we, we went to, to the local Children's Hospital. And I mean, they were great. Like we walked in, and I say I don't think they call the head because she gave me a paper like, you know, you leave with the discharge paper from urgent care. And it said, possible DK on it, which I, I don't know how I had the willpower, but I did not Google that on the way to the hospital. Like and thank God I do. It is terrifying. But we walked in and you know, we wait behind two or three other people who are there with their kid, you know, with the flu or something. It's November, so flu season. And I walked to the front and we go to register. And she's like, Well, you know, what are we doing for you? Like, oh, Urgent Care said to say possible DK and like, I swear, five nurses heads just whipped around. They're like, How old is she? And I said, almost two, and they're like, Oh, my God, that's too young. And I have never seen them move so fast. Like, we cut every line, they they moved really quickly. So the hospital itself did a phenomenal job. And you know, explaining things as you go. And then we didn't actually meet the endo until the next day, because by the time we got to room, it's like two o'clock in the morning. And so we met everyone, and you know, they're all great. And they really do explain things as best as they can. And it's kind of frustrating now, because looking back a year later, you're like, Well, why don't they tell you this? And it would make so much more sense if they explained it this way. But it's like you've said before, like they're giving you don't die rules. They can't explain the ins and outs of this. And I think one of the nurses we talked to actually set it really well is that there is there's so much of it. That's an art. Like it's not just a science, which really drove my husband crazy at first because he's like, Well, no, it is a science like this is your blood sugar. This is how it gets there. But now we realize like that's not true. Yes, there's a science to it. But so much of it is your diabetes may vary. Like you have to learn what works for your kid. And, you know, just after listening to the podcast for a year and talking to people and being around others, we've learned, you know, oh, yeah, elevation makes our kid drop some people that makes them go high. Those are just things that the hospital can't tell you because they don't know.
Scott Benner 19:08
Yeah, so this week, this past weekend, I spoke at a hospital around here in a lovely group of people. And it's the second time I've been asked to talk to them. So I felt this, I felt a little bit of pressure. Like I'm like I'm back, there's gonna be some doubling of people. And actually, it was nice here, probably about 50 people there. And, you know, there was only maybe eight or 10 who had been there the year before. So it wasn't you know, it wasn't like I was saying the same thing twice. And anyone who knows me would know that I don't actually have the ability to repeat something. So not that well thought out. I and so I you know, I go in and do my thing. We started a Gosh, like three o'clock maybe. And I walked out and got in my car at 620. So I'd spoken for three solid hours and after As I was leaving, I thought, Oh, I should have said this, you know, and I really should have made this point a little, like stronger. And and I just as I was walking out of the building, I kept thinking of things like, Oh, I wish I would have been more clear about this or made this point better, or something, or I hope they understand this. Because the truth is, I could have probably talked for another three hours. And now everything that you know, in my heart, I would want them to know, as they were leaving. So I don't even know how a doctor in anyone in 15 minutes would really put you on the path. I mean, without the because they're trained the way they're trained. And they come into practice. And this is their life, they see you 1520 minutes move on. Yes, some people get a little more my doctors not as pushy, like you'll sometimes just spend a half an hour in there. And that's even dumb luck, you know, that if you get if you're at a place that can go that long. And I think that I think that if they had the opportunity to speak long form over and over again, like the podcast is, then they'd be able to keep boiling down the things. That's why I feel like the podcast is valuable, because there's sort of these big ideas smashed down into a couple of words. And if you listen long enough, those words, they paint a larger picture in your head when you think of them, right. Like, you know, I was saying to the people the other day, I'm like, at some point, the words like trust that what you know is going to happen will happen. It's going to mean so much to you. Yeah, but in this moment, as I say to you, you're just like, wait, that's like, sideways talk, there was this one, this delightful. I every time I say this phrase, in public, I think someone's gonna laugh, and no one ever does. And this past weekend, a woman cracked up and she made me laugh. Because I'll tell people, as I'm beginning to talk about pumping and nudging and not letting blood sugars kind of get out of line too much. I say, listen, the truth is, if you don't get high, you won't get high. And which doesn't make any sense. You know, at first, that's a way to like, pull people's thoughts together, make sure everybody's focusing and then I started talking about not letting blood sugars, you know, like, don't let them run, you know what I mean? Keep them on a leash, stop them before they get started, whatever you want to think about. But she broke down laughing and I was like, I walked all the way out into the crowd door. And I was like, I've been waiting years for someone to point out how ridiculous that is. Thank
Unknown Speaker 22:23
you.
Scott Benner 22:26
But she's like, what does that mean? It doesn't mean anything. I was like, Oh, well, in a minute, let me tell a story, you know, and then I sort of build a narrative around it. And then kind of brought it back to the idea again, but that's just, it's very difficult to do, you know, in a quick setting. But you feel good about it. Your you like what, what the hospital has been teaching you at the pace they've been teaching you? Are you able to like, see, like, what the division of labor is, like, How much have you gone out and learned on your own and brought back to the process? What do you think the split is?
Kelly 22:59
Oh, like most of it? We like, I mean, like I said, They taught us to don't die rules, we go home. You know, we're MDI, initially, they did actually bring up the dexcom g six, when we were in the hospital. So the nurse practitioner who is actually who we see more often we only see the end, like once a year. And she had brought it up and was like, you know, here's some information about it, look into it, see if your insurance covers it, like this is going to be amazing, especially for a kid this young. You know, you just you need to know what's happening. And I literally refuse to go back to work after her diagnosis until we had Dexcom. Like, I was not comfortable leaving her alone. I wanted to know what was going on at all times. Like I I just couldn't do it. So we I think about seven weeks later is when we got it. And we had some actual issues initially, too, because our insurance was hesitant to get us on the Dexcom. Because Dexcom specifically is like FDA approved for two years and up and she wasn't to yet. like are you kidding me? We are seven weeks away from her birthday. Like let's just do this. This is clearly a medical need. But eventually they come through and she turns to when we get it pretty quickly after that. So that part was good. I mean, I don't feel like we would have known about it otherwise, because we didn't start getting involved in like the internet community for a little while after that. I mean, we actually we joined some local type one parents groups, while we were in the hospital, you know, there's always a case of Oh, someone knows someone and then gets you involved in the group. So that happened before we even went home. But other than that, that was just kind of like the overwhelmingness of everyone, you know, reaching out and oh, here's the hugs and prayers and you know if you have any questions, whatever. But yeah, the hospitals been great. I mean, we we actually had a hospital stay shortly after that, like, right After we got the ducks calm, she ended up with the flu and strep throat in the same week. And I just especially being MDI to later, I can only give this 25 pound kid, half a unit, which is going to drop her like crazy. She's not eating anything because she feels like crap. So, you know, what am I going to do? So we ended up in the hospital, that was actually a longer hospital stay to get over the viruses than the initial diagnosis. So in two months, we spent almost two weeks in the hospital, which was super fun. But after that, I mean, knock on wood. We've been good the last year, you know, we've been managing other sicknesses and stuff. But obviously the pump makes that a lot easier to when you can do these micro doses and stuff.
Scott Benner 25:45
This weekend after the talk, and she was standing there with her daughter, and saying, like, Oh, this really made me feel more comfortable. I appreciate it. And I have been wondering, and she started talking about, you know, the her child was on a pump, but not a glucose monitor. And they're trying to get one of their insurance companies messing around with him, said the kids agency was too good. But then you look at the kids numbers, the kids they want sees lower because she's having these crazy lows. You know, like, you know, you know, the insurance company knows that they're just I said, Look, they're just putting you off, you got to keep going back and like the you know, the CD will be able to help you get a letter to explain everything, you'll be able to get through it and get a glucose monitor, but she was talking about it. And while it took me right back to an Arden was younger, like the idea of like, you know, I put her to a bed and I tested her and she was okay. And then I, you know, I wake myself up a couple times at night that has then it just this last feeling that you don't really know what's happening.
Kelly 26:42
Yeah, you think you're rocking it and find out? Not
Unknown Speaker 26:45
so much you're not? Yeah,
Scott Benner 26:46
well, you're having these outcomes. That are the ghosts, right? They don't they're not really true. Yeah, it's a way I talked about setting baselines on a lot. I tell people look, until you get your bazel. Right. Nothing else you're seeing is real. Yeah, you know, like, you don't really know what your Pre-Bolus time is, you don't really know if your insulin to carb ratio is right, or your action time is set up correctly, all these other things that you really need to understand about how the insulin works. Because if the bazel is too strong, you may be bolusing. You know, your ratio might be often below but it won't matter because you've got way too much. bazel. And, you know, these just these ghosts, you have to first the baseline has to get set before you know what you're seeing. And she she's like, she said, I don't know what to think like, I test her and I see a number and I don't know what that means. You know, like, like, it seems okay for the moment. But what does it mean after that? And yeah, I was like, Yeah, I don't know. But you just took me into a, she put me right into a time machine and took me back to a time where I felt absolutely freaked out most of my life. You know what I mean? So
Kelly 27:54
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can't imagine like, some of you do parents with the older kids who did it, you know, with a toddler without having a dance calm or something like that, like that is terrifying. You just didn't sleep the first like five years of her life,
Scott Benner 28:09
sleeping, and then it was all just sort of like, I put the insulin in here. We'll wait this amount of time we'll check again. Normally, she was too high, then yeah, frozen in fear, because you kept thinking like, well should probably come back down. I did what the doctor told me. And then you test again, she was and then you realize you had to give her insulin, and now all of a sudden, you are actually stalking insulin. Because Yeah, I didn't know what the hell you're talking about, you know, and it's just a very, it's a very blind way to do it. And it's not not doable. Like, don't get me wrong about that, like you could, you know, when I said to her, I was like, Well, you know, the thing you can do in the meantime, is just test like a lunatic. To give yourself sort of this, like, our to our CGM graph, just I said, test every hour, and make a.on a graph. And then, you know, you can just sort of imagine where you were in between, if you're at five at 7am. And you're 110 at, you know, at 8am. I don't think you went to 150 and came back to 110. Like, there's probably somewhere in there is the path your blood sugar took take, you can cheat and give yourself a little bit of an idea. And she's like, maybe I'll try that. And I was like, that's a good idea. I'm like, I might say that on a podcast. And then I just stuck it in here. So I'm just like, here. I wonder how can you tell a story that will put this
Kelly 29:31
stick? No, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, are we we're doing the whole you know, talking to the CDs daily, emailing the blood sugars, daily, all of that and then just like literally, I got the Dexcom and very shortly after that, like probably within the same month, is when we started listening to your podcast because we we started listening to it in January, so about two months in we had just gotten ducks calm. And then I think you were here for the the type one nation summit. In February, and like, honestly, you're the reason we went like cuz I'm like, Oh, hey, that's that guy listen to on the podcast, we should go got my husband to listen to a couple episodes. And oddly and like he actually grasp everything so much faster than I did. Like he's just a very analytical person and everything that you said made sense. Whereas I was like, Well, yeah, but the doctor said this and he's like, but it's not working. So
Scott Benner 30:25
anytime you just walk past it every setback?
Kelly 30:27
Yeah. And I think it is, like you've said before, I think people just we grew up our whole lives myths, oh, well follow the doctor's orders. But this is not a disease that can be managed only by following doctor's orders. Like, obviously, they have your best interest at heart. But at the end of the day, yeah, you're seeing maybe an hour every year, like, they're not living with you. So and our CDs were great. And our nurse practitioner, the endo, they're amazing. Like, they let us do our thing. They basically told us from our very first visit, we dropped her a one c like significantly from diagnosis to the first three month appointment. They're like, Wow, you guys really seem to have a handle on this. And we did tell them about the podcast and like, yeah, this is how it's kind of presented. And it makes sense. They're like, well, cool, keep doing what you're doing. If you have questions, you know, reach out to even now, you know, we had an endo appointment in November and Godrej, one c back and it had gone up a little from where it was, but still in a good range. And she's like, yeah, you know, maybe these are some of the changes I'd make. These are the most recent graphs I'm seeing on the pump that's, you know, showing something off. We'll try this. And then she's like, hey, fee was just just approved for pump use, you know, is that something you guys would be interested in? Like, yeah, sure, we'll be the guinea pigs. So, you know, they've used it with other pediatrics, but not someone as young as her. And they're just like, well, you guys have a good grasp on it. So if you want to try it, you know, I trust that you guys, you know, know what you're doing, and we'll stop it if need be, and go back to him a log or whatever. So that's working out, you know, it's just, the whole thing is, it's a lot. But once you kind of know what you're doing, which is weird to say, because people ask like, Oh, you know, how's that diabetes thing going? You have it under control? No. Yeah. Like, there is no control. But she is alive and well. And we're not pulling our hair out every day. So some days are better than others.
Scott Benner 32:24
Isn't it like you lost your dog? They're like, Kelly, do you find your dog? Like, yeah, we found it. Great. Oh, that's great. And that's the end of the day want there to be a finite answer to what you're saying?
Kelly 32:33
Exactly. Like, no, this is something I'm going to stress about every day of my life, but it is what it is. You move on. You won't though.
Scott Benner 32:40
I know it feels like that now, but you really want
Kelly 32:43
it. Yeah, I'm just terrified for the, the puberty years. Because that's the only thing that I see online that people are like, Oh, the only thing worse than dealing with a toddler with type one is dealing with a hormonal teenager.
Scott Benner 32:57
Let me see if this makes you feel better. Okay, so I'm just jumping back here to 3am. So it is noon here right now. Arden's blood sugar 3am was 110. At 4am, it was at nine, at 5am. It was 79 6am. It was 70 7am. It was 76 and 71. And at 930 9710 4184. And it's 91. Right now, so and Arden. I look, I know, one day, she's gonna like I'll be dead, right? But she'll go back and listen to this podcast. She's gonna be like, you know, I think the thing my father talked about the most on that podcast was my period. And right now Arden has her period. So it's not not doable. You know, I mean, it just really is an abstract idea. With a concrete answer, which is, your body has a need, you fill the need, you know, it needs a certain amount of insulin you put that insulin in,
Kelly 34:12
and not being afraid of doing it, like you know, it needs to be done. So just pull the trigger and do it. The other day, we had a site issue, which we rarely get with the sites that we use, because it's one of those like the 90 degree metal ones, like it looks like a thumbtack, but they really don't have sight issues because there is no canula or anything like that. But I think it was a case of like the the adhesive had kind of pulled up a little and I just don't think the needle was in far enough. And she's going up going up. She had eaten so I'm like, Okay, this is kind of a strange high, but whatever. She has high on Dexcom and I'm like, Oh my god, what is going on? And I told my husband, he's like, well pull the site give her an injection. But I had just pushed like two units into her pump. Like Well, I don't Know how much of that she got like, I'm scared to give her another whole unit via injection. And he's like, so what do it and we'll have a juice box like, we need to do this
Unknown Speaker 35:08
oh and turn up. That's Yeah, no, he's
Kelly 35:11
he is great at doing this stuff and he just like you know it needs to get done so we give her the injection, which she hates. I mean we come at her with a syringe now and she's been on the pump so long. She's like, get that thing away from me. But you know, she gets the shot and within 10 minutes, she's backed down, you know, 380 200 like we were having 60 point drops in five minutes. I'm like, Oh, crap, maybe we should get some juice go in now. And yeah, we actually we nailed a she had like half a juice box, and I think a couple pieces of fruit snacks or something. And like she rounded out at 97 within 30 minutes, like it was insane how quickly it worked.
Scott Benner 35:48
So by the way, Arden just texted me and she's like, it's lunchtime, and I said, Are you hungry? And she said, not really. My stomach hurts. And I said, Oh, wow. I said, Okay, well, let's so I'm thinking about our launch, right? There's stuff in there. She's not going to eat if she's not feeling well. But there's two chocolate chip cookies in there. And there's a bagel and popcorn and all the carbs. grapes and cherries today. I tasted the other day. I was like mom bought you cherries out of season. I don't love you enough for that. They're very expensive out of season. Seriously. Yeah, I was like she obviously either a does not care about our money or be really loves you more than I do. Because I would not have done that. And, and so I'm joking with her. She's gotten that. So what I just told her was, look, let's just do 40 carbs for now. Right? Because there's
Unknown Speaker 36:46
chumps, sorry. I'm laughing at what she said.
Scott Benner 36:50
She came from gym and she's like, I just did yoga. And that did not help out my stomach.
Unknown Speaker 36:56
Oh, yeah.
Scott Benner 36:58
So So I said, like, Look, let's just do there's probably 80 or carbs in that launch. Now my expectation, by the way, said she'll never eat the whole thing. Like Arden's not a lunch finisher, completely. Like I sent her way more food, people are probably like, wow, that kid eats all that food. I send her more food that she's going to eat. I don't expect her to eat the entire half of the bagel. I don't expect all of the grapes like you know, I just I have this mount of insulin in my head that she generally needs.
Kelly 37:26
Yeah, and she has options too.
Scott Benner 37:28
Yeah, right, right. And then she can kind of eat what she wants, and it's not too bad. So basically, we're gonna just cover 40 carbs, which in my mind, is the two chocolate chip cookies, some of the grapes, a couple of the cherries, and maybe a bite or two of the bagel. And then so I just said to her, I'm like, Look, just, you know, let's do 40 carbs right now. And then send me a text and tell me what you eat. And if it ends up being more, we'll do more. And if she gets a little high over that, whatever, you know, it's you know, they're trying to stay fluid with it and everything like that, but I'm not gonna roll through and be like, do 80 carbs. And you know, and then have her come back and say, I didn't eat anything. Plus, I know. Yeah, you know, plus yesterday. I remember what I took out of her lunch bag at the end of the day that she didn't eat. So kind of doing the math on that in my head. And this seems like a nice centerpiece. Plus, you might start eating and feel better. PS now on looking. It says that the yoga was painful for everyone, not just her. So this might not be about her period. This might be about a bunch of out of shape girls, who just did downward dog for the first time. A bunch of Netflix girls, that's that's, that's what they are. But anyway, yeah, that's how we're gonna do this. And she'll you know, she'll text me a little while and say, I didn't need as much for this is what I ate. And we'll just adjust off of that.
Unknown Speaker 38:47
Yeah.
Scott Benner 38:48
But with a little kid, it is a little different, isn't it? You know? Yeah. How is she with eating? This is Alexis finisher you give her?
Kelly 38:56
Um, no. I mean, sometimes it depends, like we've gotten a lot better about not letting her snack as much so that when it is mealtime, she's actually hungry enough to eat it. And that's made dosing a lot easier. Because I mean, the hardest part is just when they're constantly grazing. And I'm like, I can't do that I can't have you do what some of your friends are doing. And just have, you know, goldfish crackers here, and then a cookie here. And then Oh, you want milk and all this and that. And that's what most three year olds do. And it's hard because you want her to be normal. But I also need some consistency too. So she's, she's good with food most of the time. You know, she says she wants something. I'll Pre-Bolus for it. But we're not doing like a 20 or 30 minute Pre-Bolus either, like, we'll basically dose for it, give it to her she eats, but then she'll take you know, 30 minutes to eat a fig bar or something anyways, and it's something that's going to take a few minutes to hit her so she's still kind of getting that same Pre-Bolus and that's what fiasco has actually been really good. For is it doesn't seem to need quite as much of a Pre-Bolus to start working. So that's been helpful. But I have noticed and I've seen other parents say this online too, is that once you get to a higher point, though, it takes more to bring you down. So it's almost like the insulin resistance hits harder. But like you said, if you can avoid getting high in the first place, then it's better. So you know, we have some really good days where I'll look back at the 12 hour graph and be like, Wow, did she even eat today, cuz that's like a really straight line. And then other days, I'm like, Oh, she's just up and down, up and down. But her ups are still she might hit 180, and come right back down. But at that, it's like, well, I can't just keep pushing insulin in either, because then I'm just gonna be chasing it with a juice box. And then she's gonna constantly be on the roller coaster. So yeah, some of it is hard, because you have to have the patience to wait and see what's going to happen. But a lot of it is, yeah, you know, either we miss time did or didn't give her enough to begin with, which is mostly because we don't know exactly what she's gonna eat.
Scott Benner 41:03
Okay, I have two questions based off of what you just said. My first one is about grazing, like, what do you just want you to kind of put into like more specific language, what you find difficult about the grazing, eating.
Kelly 41:16
Um, just because when she does graze, it's usually higher carb things, you know, the goldfish and animal crackers and things like that, that aren't necessarily gonna hit right away. And we with having the T slim, we do the basal IQ. Like, that's literally the whole reason we went with that pump, okay, and it's fantastic. Most of the time, but it is hard, especially like with things like pizza, I just listened to one of the episodes you did with Jenny, where she was talking about how she bonuses for pizza. like, Well, that sounds fantastic. If only it worked that way for us, because it we literally cannot doser for pizza, she will eat it. She loves pizza. That's her favorite food, which of course God helped me with that, because it's, it's a nightmare. But she will eat a piece of pizza. And we found the typical kind of version of 30 grams for a slice actually works really well for us. But we cannot doser for it for about two hours. Because even doing a Temp Basal on it or something or an extended bowl is actually the beginning. It's too much. And then it ends up shutting off when bays like he sees she's going down, they'll shut off. And then of course, one of us will forget to turn it back on and doser and then she had the pie for hours. And it's just constantly pushing to get her down. Yeah, so we found it's easier if that's all she's eating. So usually, if we give her pizza, we try to give her either like a sugar free juice, or water or something like that, that's not gonna immediately affect her. We'll give her a piece of pizza. And then we just will all set an alarm on my phone for an hour later. And I'll check Dexcom and be like, Okay, how she started trending up yet. And if she has, then I'll put in and do the extended Bolus. So if we do it too soon, it just shuts off. And then we're screwed the rest of the day. But usually it's been working out better to do it that way. But that's kind of the same thing with grazing as if she's eating these carb heavy snacks. Then it's like well, do we just do a Temp Basal to kind of blanket cover all of it right now. And sometimes that does work. But she's eating something that may not hit her for an hour, then same issue, the Temp Basal is going to bring her down, it's going to turn off, we're going to have to give her a juice box to bring her back up just in time for those heavy carbs to hit her. And then we're dealing with highs again.
Scott Benner 43:35
Okay, can you so try to think of when this is gonna air? I'm getting good at looping.
Unknown Speaker 43:45
Yeah.
Scott Benner 43:47
So there's, there's ways to trick it. And, you know, into. I saw somebody wrote an article recently, and they said, you know, these algorithms are best if you leave them alone, let them do their thing.
Kelly 44:01
But I don't have your like, Yeah, right. Like, I don't agree
Scott Benner 44:03
with that completely. You know, like, I get what they're saying. But there's also a way to jump in and out of it out of the algorithm. Without it messing things up. In the future, you just sort of have like thoughtful about a little bit. And I find that if the algorithm lets her get past like 150 then I have to, I have to shut the algorithm off. And then and then I, I come in and I handle it the way I would handle it without without that, you know, I'm aggressive with it. And I and I push it back down very quickly again. And then as she gets to about 141 30 diagonal down situation. I let the algorithm take back over again, because there's I have so much. The idea is that I have so much insulin going in that moment. That when the algorithm tries to take away the bazel for the next hour It won't matter, like, so I've got my 140 diagonal down, which I want to be at again, it's gonna see the 140, diagonal down and be like, take all the bazel. And I'm like, I tricked you, I already have insulin in there to cover that bazel. So I'm learning how to like stop an arrow up by shutting the algorithm off. I'm also learning how to stop them from happening ever by balancing absorption times with carb. And that's what I want to ask you about the baseline Q, does it do that? Can you tell it? I don't know, this is a meal that has 50 carbs in it. But I believe that 20 of these carbs are going to impact greatly over the first two hours, I think 20 of these carbs are really impact over three hours. And I think 10 of them are going to impact over four hours, can you split them the dose up like that, when you tell it or does it not?
Kelly 45:46
Not really, I mean, you basically have to do it in your head and then tell the pump what to do. So I mean, we'll we'll kind of do that on our own anyways, she likes these, like for her breakfast, nine times out of 10, she wakes up and says chocolate milk and bar, which is like these chocolate protein shakes from Costco that she's obsessed with. Those will raise her immediately. And then she likes these like Fig Newton bars. And she'll eat one of those and combined, it's like 38 carbs. So we'll put that in. But I'll usually do an extended on that because I know the chocolate milks gonna hit her right away. And she drinks that real quick, like within five or 10 minutes. But the bar she kind of takes her time eating and it takes a while to hitter. So I can usually do like, Okay, well, we'll say 50% up front, because they're both roughly 20 carbs. So 50% up front for the chocolate milk, finish that and then the other 50% over an hour. And then if you know she starts going up faster than I anticipated, or whatever, we'll throw on either Temp Basal, or just stop it altogether and just give her the rest of the Bolus. And that seems to work pretty well to it. Just some of those things, you know, she we're used to dealing with on the daily and she usually wakes up in a good range, like our overnights are pretty fantastic. So that's why I feel like her bezels right. It's just as soon as she eats something that screws it up, because I never know, is she gonna drink all this issue not. So that's why I started doing the D extended on some of those meals too is it's just easier, at least then we can take it away if she doesn't actually eat it. Right.
Scott Benner 47:23
And we talked about this this weekend, too. And I said, that's one option, what you just said, you know, create an extended Bolus and take some Yeah, don't finish it. I also am a fan of for small kids Pre-Bolus thing an amount that you can be certain they're going to eat even if it's only a few carbs. And then maybe it's thinks a little bit but while they're eating, maybe you make two or three small boluses. Throughout the food. We're like alright, 10 more carbs. Definitely just when it Yeah, and you know, like that kind of thing. And that way you get enough of a Pre-Bolus to stop a spike. And hopefully you can get the rest of it in there and get it active before the food has a chance to take over too much.
Kelly 47:59
Yeah, and that is a lot easier when you're on a pump because you don't feel like Oh crap, I have to give them another shot for this. Like when we were MDI and we started listening the podcast, before we had the pump. It was ridiculous, because she was getting probably 12 to 15 shots a day
Scott Benner 48:14
for a two year old. But it was working right?
Kelly 48:17
Yeah, yeah, I mean, still not as well as it is now obviously, because again, the best we could do was half a unit. So you know, we give her half a unit, but then we'd have to give her juice because we know that's going to bring her to low. But also our idea of highs and lows have changed in the last year as well. I mean, we did your trick was like oh, lower your alarm. So you react sooner and all that. So right now, my alarm, like overnight for her is set at 65 because she doesn't ever just drop at night, if anything, it's a slow decline. So she'll hit 65, I'll wake up when sugar make calls me and then go up, give her a sip or two of juice, and she'll coast and write it out the rest of night, which is perfect. Okay. But then during the day, I have it at 70. Because if she's falling, which is something you should bring up to Dexcom. And I know other people have said this with the follow app, it would be amazing if we have the same notification of the double arrow down and the double arrow up. Because I don't get a notification until she's at whatever arbitrary number I've put in there. But if she's falling, even if she's at 200, I still want to know if she's falling real fast. Because can we catch it? Maybe before it hits a low? Yeah, and you know, that would be great. I mean, it works if we're home with her because we just hear it on her phone anyway, and can do something about it. But if she's with a babysitter or something, it's you know, hopefully she catches it and does something with it, too. But yeah, I mean, during the day, we've now got our high alarm set at 150 because we found if we she hits 150 and same thing, she's just kind of cruising there. I'll just do a Temp Basal to slowly bring it down. But if she's cruising closer to 200, I'm just going to jump ahead call it 200 do a correction and bring her back down. Because we obviously Miss timed or miscalculated something at that point. And then she's good. But we before, I mean, we were having a high alarm set at 300. Because we basically had to have read 300 before we gave her even half a unit for a correction, or just drop her to heart.
Scott Benner 50:23
That's all gonna get more. She gets bigger. She gets bigger. Yeah, yeah, you got to just fatten her up and get her to go. Look, can you get taller and gain weight, please?
Kelly 50:33
Yeah, I mean, she's like 40 pounds now just about and it's already getting easier to do that too. But again, the pump is just so much easier with that, because you can manipulate the bazel to do what you need it to do. So I do a lot of temp bagels, just to help kind of round it out. Because I do feel like that gives it a better rolling graph, as opposed to just the crazy spikes and stuff, the ups and downs. But then I think you've seen both my husband and I and now my mom has all worn a duck scout for 10 days. And so that brings so much more clarity and understanding to the parent. I think it should honestly be required that every parent were a CGM. Tell me what, you just have no idea. Like, I'm sure everybody has tested their blood sugar before and you're like, Oh, cool. 95 110 whatever. Like, that static number doesn't tell you anything, you know. So when we wore it, it was great, because I actually found my numbers tend to be a little higher than my husband's. So I'm probably on the way to prediabetes at some point in the next 1015 years. But it just, you know, it shows you I think I had a bowl of cereal at one point, like Cheerios, it wasn't even anything crazy. And my blood sugar rose like 165 and sat there for four hours. And I'm just watching my Dexcom. And I'm like, I would have dosed her for this two hours ago. Can I get some insulin here? What is happening? Well, but you just realize now some of those highs, you're not always going to avoid like it's natural to have that happen. Whereas I think people people look at a 65 blood sugar and they freak out. Oh my god, she's so low. She's not my husband wrote at 65 all night long one night, and that he didn't feel any different. He went to bed had a great night's sleep woke up and was fine. Like that's just his normal. So
Scott Benner 52:26
a couple things. First of all, there are plenty of people right now who know this that are just like, I hope he tells her Cheerios, even though they don't look all sugary. And they're not they don't have a picture of like a chocolate count on the front of them. They hit really hard. Oh yeah, Cheerios
Kelly 52:40
are tough. Cereal does. Yeah.
Scott Benner 52:44
But seriously, like there be in your mind, there'd be a way to think well, they're not frosted, or they don't have Yeah, but Cheerios are healthy. Yeah, they're healthy. They still hit your blood sugar hard. The other the other idea is, is about the, you know, your, your husband with the 65. I mean, I'm not a doctor, right. But I, I can agree with you. You know, like I saw today where or I put a new graph up in my talk. And I was I was showing people kind of like, what, what it looks like when things go wrong, and how I so that is the the crux of this one slide is listen, everything's not always going to go okay. But here's how I maintained my concepts throughout like, you know, so we got a, got a meal started without a good Pre-Bolus she got high, we corrected, the correction was just way too much. And here's how I shut bazel off and added juice. But as you can see, she got down lower than I wanted. And you can see on this graph, you can see she hits 65. And she stays there for 15 or 20 minutes until she kind of rises back up. My point in that part of the graph is so look, you see here, I'm not panicking, I've got the food and I've taken the bazel away I trusting the what's about to happen is gonna happen. You know, I'm not overloading or with carbs. But as I look out into the group, they're all they can see is the red, where the dots Yeah, they're just like, it's red. It's red. You know, my cat, but she's just it's 65 Plus, she's got the food. I think if I would have finger stuck or there, she probably would have been a couple points higher anyway. I mean, and yeah, think of how ridiculous that is. If she was 70 it wouldn't have been red. And they would have been completely comfortable with that.
Kelly 54:28
Yeah, you know, to me, it really is a visual thing. Yeah. And I mean, again, like keeping steady at 65 is very different than two arrows down at 65. I think we got two arrows down at 120 and we're like crap we messed up like where's the juice? Where's the candy something Yeah. And we'll get it back up. But yeah, to be steady at 6570 like that's a perfect night and that's where you're going to get the good a one sees. Unless of a rollercoaster I feel like the next day even I think if we can have a steady night. It helps lead in Have a better day. Yeah, it seems the days that are crazy are the ones where we had crazy highs overnight because she had like pizza late at night or something, or caffeine or something. And then yeah, the whole next day is just screwed up too. Well, to finish that idea, the rest of that graph is to show them like, Look, now we got through this. Now it's lunchtime.
Scott Benner 55:19
Yeah, not only did I still do exactly what I normally would have done with that meal, but I added some bazel. And they said why, like her blood sugar was gonna like, no, but back here. I took it away for a while. Yeah. And they started talking about, you know, like, bazel. You know, everything you do with insulin is not for now, it's for later, you know, every decision you make with insulin right now affects later, it's not really affect Yeah, as much. So I'm like, so I've basically by taking her bazel away in that 1011 o'clock hour, I've created what's going to be a black hole of basal insulin an hour or so in the future. And I was like, so I'm going to need extra power there to overcome it. So I put in enough insulin to overcome the food. I put in her regular bazel. And I put in some extra bazel to just sort of try to keep on top of things. And you can see her blood sugar, by the way, cruises out of this graph at one 10th. Really cool. Excuse me, but it's not, no one would think like that. Yeah. And then just this morning, someone reached out to me online and was like, hey, my daughter's blood sugar got really high this morning out of nowhere. And talking about like, What happened there? And I'm like, No, what happened before and it turned out the kid was low overnight. And she'd taken bazel away for a while. And I was like, yeah, so that is one of those moments where you're creating a problem hours from now. Like, yeah, fixing your problem right now, right? You're taking it all the bazel away, and it's keeping this low blood sugar from getting any lower. But when it starts to pop back up, you basically have to look back at that base and go, how much did I take away? I need almost all that back now.
Kelly 56:55
Yeah, we actually did that. The other day. She I think her birthday was yesterday, we did her birthday party on Sunday. And this was the first time we've had a bounce house for her. So we got you know, 15 kids in the backyard going crazy in this bounce house. I had originally thought like, Oh, I should have some sugar free drinks, like set aside for her so she can drink whatever. Are you kidding me? Like we're given her juice, like everything, all the carbs so that she can continue jumping. And she had an amazing graph during the day. And we had actually got to the point where we just straight up took her pump off, which is another thing that we actually like about t slim is it doesn't have to be on her 24 seven, like we can take it away, she can have a bath or do whatever. But we took it off and just let her go and play and be a kid. And we actually experienced that. Like she had great blood sugar control during the day, because the jumping was of course keeping her low. We gave her all the juice and stuff. And then once she took a nap everybody leaves. And then it starts creeping up creeping up and we had like a couple hours of low high, but just have enough start pushing that bazel back end because yeah, she'd been without it for a few hours
Scott Benner 58:05
when you took the pump off. Yeah, it's so interesting to hear people like it is very true that everybody's different and that there are gonna be things that excite one person about something the other, because I feel this like you just said something you feel very strongly about it. And I'm not negating it. We like the T slim because we can take it off. And yeah, I like the Omni pod because it doesn't come off.
Kelly 58:25
Exactly, because I'll be in that position when she's older and doing sports and stuff but honestly right now too it's just it's so big on her little body like 40 pounds and like little stick arms and she is tall for her age. So it just I don't think it would work but I do really want to try it at one point. And I think you know as technology gets better and stuff we're going to be switching around anyways. Like I'm not 100% tied to anything. If someone's going to come out with better product Guess what, that's where we're going cuz she's three we're gonna be dealing with this as parents right for at least another what 23 years while she's on our insurance and then from there
Scott Benner 59:04
don't switch on the sake of switching but when something's better it's Oh yeah, you know I I've been in a room before the army pod I'm like keep innovating because Yeah, I like you guys.
Kelly 59:14
Yeah. excited for like control IQ just got FDA approval. I have no idea whether she's actually eligible based on her age or not. But I'm like are knows great and I'm sure he'll push for it too. If he thinks it's gonna be a good thing. Maybe one of those like, let's give it six months and see if there's any bugs that may be worked out before we try it on the three year old but you know, I love the technology. And I I feel for these newer parents too because they are kind of scared I think sometimes because they are so rely on it. But you know, we'll do during the Dexcom two hour warm up, depending on what she's doing. I may finger poker once, maybe twice during that time period, just to make sure that what I think is supposed to happen is actually what's happening first. But for the most part, yeah, like, that's fine. I will say I think one of the biggest things, it's funny, my brother just moved back to town. him and his wife were living overseas for the last two years. And they're in town now. And they're like, yeah, we're here. We want to learn how to take care of her. You know, where do we start? I'm like, um, I feel like if you had asked me that a year ago, I would have given you you know, all the rules that the doctor gave us. Now, the hardest part is just so much of it does require that forethought, like you were talking about. You have to know what's going to happen a few hours from now, as far as what to do with the insulin. Our babysitter's rocked it with that, and my mom, who's the other babysitter, my mom and dad, they rock it. But other than that, like you can't explain to someone how you do what you do when you just do it. Does that makes sense? Like I can't explain why I decided at this point, oh, maybe I'll give her a little snack or something. Or why I'm deciding to do a Temp Basal instead of a correction. It just, it's what I do. Like you live with it day in and day out, you just do it, and hope it works. And if it doesn't work, you bank it for later. But that's something that's so incredibly hard to explain to someone, especially when it's someone who wants to be able to watch your child. So I almost feel like now the biggest thing we can teach someone is, these are, this is what a low is, this is what needs to happen if it's an emergency low situation. So I have friends I've been able to leave her with, you know, they live five minutes away, I've like left her and then run home to do something or whatever she's been there for like an hour. And of course, like I have Dexcom so I can follow her on my phone. And I can call them if I see something going weird. But for the most part, like I just need you to know what to do. And an emergency is really the biggest one. Because otherwise I'll just tell you what to do.
Scott Benner 1:01:55
super glad that you know what to do. I'm even more happy that you don't know how to explain it because that's one less person is going to decide to try to make a podcast one. But But I do you are you at the point yet where you can do it remotely? Like that it like in your head? Can you can you do it without being there yet?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:15
What I mean? Like,
Kelly 1:02:17
like how what to do for her? Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:02:19
like, I haven't been with Arden for the last six hours. But if she completely lost her ability to be to do anything, I could tell people right now what to do remotely? And I haven't been with her. I haven't seen what she's done. Oh, yeah. Tell by the graph and how things have been going like what to do, can you it's almost like, it's almost like being like an IT person. Like, like explaining how to get through someone's computer with out seeing their computer. Like I feel like that with diabetes like I can I can get you through this program without being there.
Kelly 1:02:54
I think so. Yeah. Like her, her babysitter just text me like half an hour ago and was like, hey, she hasn't eaten anything since you dropped her off. But she started to get high. Did you want me to do a correction or Temp Basal? And I was like knowing that information. Let's do this. Sometimes I'll see that she's high. And I'll text whoever has her and be like, Did she just eat something? Or was that out of nowhere? And they'll be like, Oh, yeah, she just ate but I didn't dose her enough or whatever. So General, as long as I know why whatever happened happened, then it makes sense. But yeah, I mean, I can use look at it and be like, Oh, she must have eaten here or something. Except on those beautiful days where there is no spike, then it's like, Wow, did she actually eat today? I don't even know.
Scott Benner 1:03:36
That's very cool. So listen, I'm thrilled for you. Because you've obviously come a long way in a year, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell the people in your life who wanted to learn about diabetes, listen to the podcast. And other than that I'm feeling good about what we owe. And
Kelly 1:03:51
well, I have actually my dad has started listening to the podcast, and he's hoping he'll be caught up before my episode actually airs. But yeah, he's he's learned a lot too. And he's kind of caught on the same way. My husband is like, Oh, well, yeah, this is what you told us originally. But now that you've been listening, this makes sense. So he listens usually an episode a day cuz he rides his bike to work. My mom is just not really a podcast person. But she does really well to just kind of guessing on carb counts. And you know, same thing if it's not enough or too much or whatever. And our babysitter's amazing like, it sucks because we really only have a couple people that I really trust to watch her for long periods of time. But, you know, it's really no different than people who don't have family that live close by like you have wire to solid babysitters, and then you just take your kid with you everywhere. How they're,
Scott Benner 1:04:40
yeah, no, I hear you. Well, listen, I just heard back from Arden about our lunch. Two things. I don't care if your mom's not a podcast person or not. That's not an excuse not to listen. Arden's blood sugar's 90 right now. And she told me she ate everything except for the half of the bagel. So we just did 20 more carbs. So basically We ended up doing I thought it was at in the bag total, I'm guessing I don't know how many grapes there were, I don't know how many. Basically when I put the bag of grapes and cherries, and I thought to myself, it 20 and then I put into cookies and I don't remember, I didn't look at the carbs, but I remember thinking 15 so like, there's 35 I guess she didn't eat the bagels to the bagels out the popcorn is like another 15 maybe so 50 and then I'm in that of course weird space for I don't remember the other thing I put in there. Oh, I gave her two little pieces of chocolate. Because I'm Oh boy. And that's like the most I know about periods. I figured she'd want chocolate. So I put like a couple little dove chocolate hearts in there. And I don't remember what else there must have been something else I'm not thinking of right now. So we'll just do that. And then if in the next 30 minutes, I see any indication that our blood sugar is trying to run, we'll just yank on the leash and pull it back before it gets away from us. Do you
Kelly 1:05:59
find though that those things are going to hit her differently? Because like everything you mentioned, I'm like, okay, cookies would hit her later chocolate would hit her later. cherries and grapes, those are going to hit her immediately. Like just with the complex versus simple carbs. She leveled out it though.
Scott Benner 1:06:13
But yeah, but at the same time. If you think back to when we did this, it's been 30 minutes, 35 minutes since the first insulin within. So that's all there now it's active. So I'm basically creating an extended bolus right now by doing this.
Kelly 1:06:29
Yeah. Faster stuff.
Scott Benner 1:06:32
There's I'm trying to think 918 36 probably like four. Actually, the first Bolus was five units.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:42
Five, no,
Scott Benner 1:06:44
yeah, five. And this next one's two and a half. So yeah, you know, that'll be it. So it's basically like Pre-Bolus, saying five and putting two and a half and a half hour later when she ate more. It's not perfect. This isn't going to work perfectly. But it's close enough for this scenario where she's like, look on my stomach hurts. And I might not eat all this.
Kelly 1:07:03
Yeah, you know, well, and so grapes reminded me when my husband was wearing the Dexcom. We, he did an accidental experiment where, you know, he had like his lunch and had grapes with it, and, you know, no major change or whatever. And then the next day, he decided he was going to have just a handful of grapes with no other food. And that shot his blood sugar up because they are like straight sugar, you know? We realize like, oh, okay, so even in the non diabetic person, like the food is basically working the same way. He says simple sugars with complex carbs. It tends to kind of even them all out. Yeah, versus you eat straight sugar by itself. You're gonna go up.
Scott Benner 1:07:47
By the last couple of days, excuse me. Arden's after school snack has been late. It's like she's, like, all of a sudden, she's a 55 year old lady on a Sunday evening watching television. So crackers and cheese and grapes and stuff like that. And, and I'm seeing, you know, no real impact in the beginning, and then it gets really harsh, like 45 minutes later. Yeah, you know, we just kind of adjusted a little bit how we put it in. But this was really great. Kelly, thank you for coming on and doing this. I really appreciate it. I feel like I did that. Was there anything that we didn't say that you were hoping to say? Oh, I have. I want to find out your bit. So you're six months pregnant? At the beginning, you said my husband doesn't know what I'm having. But I do. So before that, but then we never said it. So what do you have any?
Kelly 1:08:34
Yeah, so we will be doing like a gender reveal type thing and the next month or so? Because we only have like three months ago. But yeah, I found out at the ultrasound because I don't like surprises. But we are having a boy this time. So we'll have one of each and hopefully at least one without diabetes.
We'll see how different that can be.
Scott Benner 1:08:55
Good Hope. Yeah. Well, one of each is nice. That's it. Congratulations. Yeah, he'll be excited. Was he is he looking for a boy?
Kelly 1:09:04
Um, he we were actually both really hoping for another girl. So it actually took me a minute when I found out to like, process it because I really wanted to be able to like reuse her clothes and you know, have that whole like little girl experience again, but I'm, I'm happy about it now. So I'm sure he'll be happy either way. He's, he's big on cars and stuff. So he'll love Oh, boy.
Scott Benner 1:09:22
Do not forget to blame him. After you tell him. Just be like this is completely your fault. Right you I wanted another girl and now that I've done
Kelly 1:09:32
right, you control the gender here so it's not on me. Wait, I'm just throwing it. And
Scott Benner 1:09:36
don't forget later to tell your son. How you were hoping you'd be a girl?
Kelly 1:09:41
Yeah, yes. I will be sure to remind you of that. Yeah, no, I never decided Alexis is super excited to be a big sister. And I think she'll be great. So
Scott Benner 1:09:52
congratulations. Let me be the first one. Does anyone else know besides you and I and the doctor up?
Kelly 1:09:57
Yeah, a couple of our friends. No, but they've been sworn secrecy. So,
Scott Benner 1:10:01
I felt like it was just me now that it isn't.
Kelly 1:10:03
But hey, maybe Scott will be a contender for the name.
Scott Benner 1:10:06
Wait a minute. Let's get to that. Is it anywhere near the running?
Kelly 1:10:12
It could be because it's actually my brother's middle name. So it's not 100% out of the realm of possibility,
Scott Benner 1:10:17
right? I'm gonna let you go. But let me explain to you how to handle this. Okay? If you end up using the name because it's a family name, that's cool. But when you tell me you don't mention that, you just say absolutely. I gave the baby Your name Scott. You don't even have to say named him after you. My ego won't even hear that part.
Kelly 1:10:33
It'll be like Scott juicebox meter something go crazy.
Scott Benner 1:10:35
I don't want you to lose your mind. Just when you tell me you lie to me and tell me it was for me? Absolutely. I want to have a stable of Scots by the time this is over.
Kelly 1:10:46
Yes. Pardon me? Well, you're gonna have all these babies named.
Scott Benner 1:10:50
That's what I want. That's why I want to like a little army case I ever need like a security force when I get older.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:55
Exactly.
Scott Benner 1:10:56
What would I need a security force for by? No, you imagine? Well, I want to thank Kelly for coming on the show. Even though she did not end up naming her baby Scott was a pretty big letdown. I emailed her just the other day and I said, Hey, your episodes going up soon. Any chance that kid's name is Scott. And the answer was no. said it was in the running. I know better. Kelly. Thanks so much to touch by type one. And the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of the podcast go to Contour Next one.com forward slash juicebox or touched by type one.org. To learn more. There are also links in the show notes of your podcast player and at Juicebox podcast.com. I'll see you soon.
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#365 After Dark: Sex with Type 1 Diabetes (male perspective)
ADULT TOPIC WARNING
Eric is a married adult with type 1 diabetes and he's here to talk about relationships and having sex.
Not for children.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Alexa - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public or their favorite podcast app.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends welcome to Episode 365 the Juicebox Podcast. Today is the next episode in the afterdark series. The afterdark series began back in October of 2019 and Episode 274, where we talked about drinking with Type One Diabetes. The next month, Episode 283. After Dark we did this show. And then in 2020, at Episode 305 talked about trauma and addiction in Episode 319 sex with Type One Diabetes from the female perspective. In Episode 336, of after dark, we talked about depression and self harm. And today, sex with Type One Diabetes from a male perspective. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Listen today again, there's going to be a lot of adult language and themes. The curses, you know, like the actual curse words are beeped out. But still, there's a lot being spoken about here that is, you know, not exactly well hidden. So now's a good time to shut this off. If your kids are in the car or if your kids listen by themselves. Usually, you should be running through the house to stop them. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod, the tubeless insulin pump, get a free, no obligation demo of the Omni pod sent directly to your home today by going to my Omni pod.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by dexcom, makers of the G six continuous glucose monitor, check out the Dexcom G six@dexcom.com. forward slash juice box. And if you enjoy the theme of today's show, you're going to enjoy the theme of today's ads. So when we talk about Dexcom and Omnipod later, you know there might be some beeps.
Eric 2:11
I'm Eric Dutcher, also known as chronic super human, and I'm a type one diabetic 19 years. And I'm married to my wife, Heather for seven years.
Scott Benner 2:23
Nice. 19 years. How old? Are you? No,
Unknown Speaker 2:25
I am 45.
Scott Benner 2:28
That's interesting. So you were diagnosed at like, 26?
Eric 2:32
Yeah, yeah, it was, uh, you know, I was running and gunning and a new career and everything seemed to be going okay. And then it wasn't?
Scott Benner 2:43
how did how did then it wasn't present itself.
Eric 2:47
I actually lost about 20 pounds, which I'm 155 160 today and on a five nine frame. So that was pretty significant. And, yeah, just doing the typical, frequent, urgent need to pee and the weight loss. And so it was pretty clear that it was diabetes, although I didn't know that at the time.
Scott Benner 3:14
Yeah, though. It's interesting. I was gonna say that you and I met recently in Dallas, for a brief minute, but I thought 20 pounds must have been Stark on you.
Eric 3:24
Yeah, it was quite a bit. Yeah, there's quite a bit, but it it. Like, it threw me for a little bit, it threw me into either low mood or depression for about 10 years. And really the biggest part of my journey, and my story is really coming on the other side of that depression and becoming who I am today, or actually more appropriately refining who I was before.
Scott Benner 3:48
So let's find out about that a little bit. We always assume, like people guess all the time, right? Like when's the best time to be diagnosed with diabetes? As if there's, you know, a best time but I think most people tend to agree that from a psychological standpoint, it's before you know, about a life without diabetes, is that what three year window a depression, just the sense of loss?
Eric 4:14
Yeah, you know, the sense of loss was a big part of it, but it was just this. You know, the, the weight of everything coming down, you know, you're sitting in that white room, the doctors come in, you stop really understanding what he's saying, and your world is completely changed. So there's the loss, and a lot of people don't grieve the loss. But I think even at younger ages, that loss, that burden of that loss just gets transferred to a parent instead of an adult. And so I always look at it as it's better that I was diagnosed as an adult because the impact is on me as opposed to transferred to my parents.
Scott Benner 4:58
So you had that thought like that. At least I'm old enough where they don't feel responsible for me.
Eric 5:03
Not initially. But as I've grown over the past, you know, decade that's, that's what I've come to, you know, when people ask me that question I say, Well, at least it's me and you know, it's within my control as opposed to affecting, you know, a parent, a parent really having to be that management. And that doesn't even account for what I do a lot with diabetes coaching today of when parents have now have young adults that are ready to launch. But the parents don't know how to do the launch, because the kids are, you know, seeking individuality. The parents are still nervous, you know, I've got adults that that still, you know, wake up every day and texts or parents, hey, I'm still alive, which is a really kind of hard place to live.
Scott Benner 5:54
Well, when you were 26, you didn't live at home, you were on your own.
Eric 5:59
I was Yeah.
Scott Benner 6:00
Did you have any real contact with your parents about diabetes? Or what was that like to be an adult but not so old? That you probably still didn't have a fairly? I would think closer relationship? And?
Eric 6:13
Yeah, well, it was. So it was really hard. I was in a really broken marriage at the time. My ex wife was, yeah, it was not a good situation. I've I've gone through therapy and all this stuff and realize that I was going through abuse and all this other things, as well as the day I called my parents to let them know that I had been diagnosed. They said, Yeah, well, we have news for you as well. Your dad's kidney cancer is back. So they were in the midst of a medical struggle. At the same time, I was in the midst of a new diagnosis. And so I'm sure they were way more supportive. Then I really kind of remember in hindsight, but it was it was a difficult time for the entire family. Yeah,
Scott Benner 7:07
they had their own specific thing going on. And oh, wow, jeez, this is why we have these conversations, because I didn't expect you to say, actually, any of what you just said.
Eric 7:20
Nor did I
Scott Benner 7:22
know, that's something I saw. I'm hearing that your first wife gave you diabetes. I hear what you're saying.
Eric 7:28
Well, you know that you're stressed that is a factor. But yeah,
Scott Benner 7:33
let's just blame her as we move forward. Okay.
Eric 7:38
Okay, so Wow. And I'm sorry, your father. How did that all go? I feel like I have to ask you, although kidney cancer doesn't sound like a good thing in a reoccurrence? Yeah, no, he went, he went through, basically the first tumor he had grew over a three year period, the second tumor that came back, grew the same size and six months. So it transferred into what's called spindle cell carcinoma, which is extremely aggressive. And he tried everything with the best doctors, bone marrow transplants. My parents approach was to exhaust all opportunities. And yeah, he he passed away at 53, which is always kind of a, you know, being someone with a health condition like I am today. And now being 45. There is a little bit of an underlying Healthwatch of Am I going to make it past 53? Even though it's not rational, right, but it's just it's life, and it can mess with your head. Sometimes. I would imagine I found myself wondering how much correlation there is in that or if it is just something that people think about like, Oh, my, my dad made it to this, you know, I'm trust trying to make it there. I wonder if that's really, you know, if the if the data actually supports it, there's anything to worry about there? Yeah, I don't I don't actually think that the data supports it. But it's definitely there's a I, I would imagine a lot of people go through that mental gymnastic hundred percent. We
Scott Benner 9:09
love to set arbitrary, like, milestones for ourselves in the future. It's people love to do that, you know?
Eric 9:18
Yeah, I would, I would maybe put a finer point on it. People love to put arbitrary limitations on themselves. And by thinking, hey, my dad only made it 53. Like, I'm already kind of saying, well, that's a hurdle. Yeah,
Scott Benner 9:31
I hear I did I do the exact opposite thing. I always look around and think like, you know, if I make it to this age, that's good. If I make it to this age, I always think of it as like these little races where you get like bonuses at the end. Like,
Eric 9:43
I love it. I
Scott Benner 9:44
don't I don't know exactly what like, you know, you know, in your 20s you don't meet very many people who have certain ailments. And so you think, well, if I, you know, there, I'll be clear for that. But now we got to just leap over that and there's, again, there's no real common sense to it at all. It's just you know, That's ridiculous. It really is our minds play a lot of a lot of interesting tricks on us. So, so you have been an adult, a sexually active adult, I have without diabetes. And and with it. And so and so Eric, you're on today because you were the You are the lone man, in a sea of women who's who step forward, you were the lone man who said, I will talk about what it's like to have sex with type one. And I appreciate that. Thank you very much. You're welcome. For whatever reason, dudes like sex, but they don't like talking about it. I think it's funny to talk about, so I'm good. Okay. So, I guess we should start in before for a second, like prior to type one. Did you have any? I don't know what to call it. Like, was there anything about you know, being intimate with another person that made you feel like, uncomfortable or, you know, self self? I don't know. Like, like, I big Did you were you were you just one of those people was like, Hey, leave the lights on. I'm good. Let's get going. Or were you under the blankets kind of guy like, how did you start off your endeavors?
Eric 11:12
Well, I'll start with this. Like, I had to warn my mom that I was going to be on a sex podcast, like, my grandfather was a Episcopalian priests. Sex wasn't really talked about, you know, the, the conversation with dad was like, do you know what it is? And I said, Yes. And he said, Great, and get out on the way. So sex was always kind of a taboo talk. topic. So I really, you know, that kind of led into the bedroom a little bit, too. It was, you know, I, I never really felt that comfortable in it. You know, early on in life, and really, at the time of diagnosis of pre diagnosis. I wasn't exactly. You know, I wasn't Casanova out there by any means. But I
Scott Benner 12:03
don't think any of us are, are we were at the whim of women who are nice enough to be kind enough to have sex with us. But it's funny, as you're talking, I realized, you're you're a handsome man, Eric, we've met and you're in good shape. And I'm not in you know what you would? I'm not in your shape. And I could probably have sex in the middle of the mall with 1000 people there if my mom was shopping at Macy's? I don't I don't know if that's just a if there's like, that's the monkey part of my brain like, I don't know exactly. But you'd be hard pressed to put me in a situation where I'd say, huh, no, no, thanks. Not now, that seems wrong here. Or they're not that I would you know what I'm saying? I'm over exaggerating about being a public, but I don't think there's a lot about there's not a lot about that holds me back ever. But as you're discussing it, I realized I didn't grow up in a house where people you know, shied away from it. Or, or, you know, nobody said to me, like, you know what it is right, that thing. Yeah, we don't have to say it. And then it's over. You know, like, it didn't work that way for me. But But okay, so you weren't exactly. You weren't exactly like swinging from a vine like Tarzan prior to diabetes?
Eric 13:15
No, no, no. And I, you know, I wasn't sexually active until college. And so yeah, it was, it was much later in life for me than some others. And, you know, just the fact that I reached out, you know, kind of is a really part of my transformation as well, whether it's through counseling, or really in communication with my wife, Heather, who's amazing. So even
Scott Benner 13:44
doing this was sort of you trying to be a little more aggressive and bolder for yourself?
Eric 13:50
Well, me doing this is really about Look, I run a PG Insta account, all my communication is very, it's it's very PG and maybe even G. And there is not a place where people really talk about especially males diabetes, and sex. And so I've had, you know, I met a guy out in California, just on a whim, I was like, Hey, I'm in town. Hey, you want to talk and we talked and one of the things we talked about was being diabetic men, and how it affects sex just because it's not out there. And there's not a lot of people like you that say, Hey, I'm going to do an after dark series so
Scott Benner 14:36
so what's the first concern like First of all, do you pump you in jack? Do you wear CGM? What do you have?
Eric 14:41
Yeah, so I wear a CGM and I wear a tubeless pump.
Scott Benner 14:46
Okay, so let's guess you have a dex commented on the pod. Right. Okay. And, and you are so what's the first thought you meet your now wife? I'm assuming when you had diabetes, you matter. Yes. Right. So, um, I use that math to figure that out with your age and your diagnosis date. I think everyone should be incredibly impressed. And so the first time you guys decide we're going to move forward here. She knows you have diabetes already. That's correct. Right? Was there any conversation around it was there? Hey, by the way, I'm, I've got some gear on, like, don't bump into my CGM, or what do you do? How do you do you talk about or do you just not talk about it?
Eric 15:28
Well, it at the very beginning, we didn't. But we actually, you know, we talk about diabetes in relation to sex a fair amount, because we sex is part of a healthy relationship. I mean, you know, when I think about it, like sex is what connects you to a partner, it releases oxytocin, it's the same sort of thing that's released in a child that breastfeeding with the mom and the mom gets from that process. So there is a bonding process part of sex, so we talk about sex quite a bit. But early on, like it was just, you know, when something came up, then we would talk about it. But now that the doors are open, and most of the stuff has come up over the course of seven years that we can proactively have those conversations. So did you feel self conscious for her seeing your your gear? You know, it's funny, I said, gear now I think people think I mean, penis, but I mean, like your CGM in your in your pump. Like, did you? Did you feel self conscious The first time you took your clothes off? or How did it make you feel? Do you remember? I'm more self conscious and kind of goofy about my other gear? My diabetes gear doesn't, you know, bother me too much. There's, it's, it is what it is. And it's not me, versus my gear is me. Right. So like, if she doesn't like the diabetes equipment, then it's the diabetes equipments. I believe it's not that I'm ugly.
Scott Benner 17:12
either. So yeah, like so you wouldn't have taken it personally, if, if she like stared a little too long at something or, or something like that?
Eric 17:19
No, no, but I will say that, you know, one of the things that I do think about is your diabetes gear should be in certain spots, and I specifically don't put it in certain spots, so it doesn't get into the way during sex. And I actually I'm very happy that I'm tubeless. Because I don't have to be like, Hey, I'm disconnecting my pump. If you know what I mean.
Scott Benner 17:44
Bow Chicka. Wow, here we come. So Alright, let me try to guess here, right. I've had sex before. I wouldn't want something to be on my hips in the back. If we were talking about missionary. If she was on top, you wouldn't maybe one on your thighs. Am I getting? Am I close? Am I figuring this out? Or how does it go?
Eric 18:08
Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's true. And then there's certain parts of like, there's optimal placement on your stomach and there's sub optimal placement on your stomach. And then really, it's just a lot of it is her being aware of where it is before we're intimate. So like, where we're touchy feely people, we're always hugging multiple times a day, and so she's pretty aware of where my devices are already before sex is initiated.
Scott Benner 18:38
Now, have you ever gone? This is gonna sound silly, but have you ever said to yourself like in your head? I'd love to go from reverse cowgirl to doggy here but I can't because my CGM is blank or does that not come into your head in the moment?
Eric 18:53
I know typically what happens is something gets bumped and then you go Okay, was that a? Was that a fatal bump or not a fatal bump to the pump and you know, if it if it comes off in the process, no big deal. It's just like anything else, you just reattach it later.
Scott Benner 19:10
So the the passion part of it sort of overtakes the concern part of it like sort of if you were to knock a lamp over, you wouldn't stop and go we have to pick the lamp up now like that kind of a thing?
Eric 19:20
No, I think usually what it honestly it's something like that typically happens and it causes a giggle or something and then you get you get going down the road again right?
Scott Benner 19:30
Do you worry about being low when you're like do you worry about like the exertion making you low?
Eric 19:41
Yeah, so I what guys need to be thinking about a lot and you know, not having the the view into women diabetics. There's also an effect there as well as your blood sugar dictates how Thick your blood is. And because our sex organs are filled through engagement with blood, if you've got thin blood, guess what doesn't happen? erections are really hard to maintain. Although sometimes, like, you know, you finish and you know, you're like, Well, I was 56 How did that happen? You know, but, you know, when you're high, like, you're more likely to not last as long, it's going to feel, you're going to feel more pressure, you're going to feel kind of achy. You may feel sleepy and slow down in the process. When you're low, you know, you, you could have problems, you know, keeping an erection and like I, I remember, there was a time we were, you know, we were active and, and she was manually stimulating, and like, I had nothing and think about, it's not just the low blood sugar that's making it hard to get up. But on top of that, because you're low, you've got this emotional catalyst going on in your brain. And so like, I just broke down in tears, and like, I had a bawling fit on the side of the bed. And it was like, wow, okay. That's kind of not what we planned. When we came back to the bedroom.
Scott Benner 21:28
I gotta tell you something, I assume the women listening are like, Well, nothing sexier than a crying guy with a taffy for a while we're trying to have sex.
Eric 21:37
Yeah, no. And I think like, I think it devolved into, like, you know, something about my father dying and all this other stuff. So like,
Scott Benner 21:45
it was, like, you were so low, you got emotional that that like thing that we all see with our kids or, you know, you know, adults where you get so low that you just really get emotional out of nowhere.
Eric 21:56
Yes, I was a blubbering baby. And and, you know, it took some time to recover.
Scott Benner 22:03
Did she just like back away and pull the blanket up over top of your office? Let's go.
Eric 22:10
Now, I mean, in that moment, I mean, she knew something was wrong, right? I can, it was a it was a, you know, there was a moment that, you know, there are moments that you can recover. And there's moments that you can just and yeah, and what we've learned is like, when you get and you want to have sex, and it just doesn't happen. It's okay if you don't recover. But it's always good for me to let her know, hey, look, I know this didn't happen, right? But, man, if if you wake up in the middle of night, let's try this again or not, you know, just say, yeah, it wasn't you. But like having that communication that she didn't do anything wrong, or, you know, her communicating to me that, hey, it's okay. It didn't work this time. That's an important element. Because when when, when people go and have sex, and oftentimes before it, guys are really good at this, you start building a sex script in your head, hey, this is what sex is going to look like. But as we know, like, you know, when diabetics, write scripts, like diabetes, like come along, and like just crumple up the script, and chew it up and laugh in your face when you're doing it, and
Scott Benner 23:28
so that's interesting. So you just feel like, Guys, a lot of people men are like, I'm gonna do this for five minutes, then I'm moving to this for 13 strokes. And then I'm going to flip it like, do you think like, because I'm, I realized, as you're saying that, like, I have sex the way I live, like, I just, I move in a direction until the other direction seems like, right, I don't think things through like that. That's interesting.
Eric 23:51
Yeah, it's not it's not as specific as that. But it is, it is a clinical thing. And when you go into sex therapy and whatnot, a lot of times there will be discussions around Well, what is your typical sex script? Or what would your ideal sex script be? So it is, like, it's not a, hey, I'm going to do this for five minutes. And she's going to respond this way. And then I'm going to do this for five minutes. It's a more of a general of this is, it's like if you were going to run a race, this is how I'm going to approach the race. And this is how I think it's going to go typically, there's something in that involved especially in you know, in a committed relationship, you tend to form typical sets, grips that work better
Unknown Speaker 24:44
for you. It's interesting.
Scott Benner 24:45
So I have two questions. Before we get too far away. You said two things that made me think of some stuff so before we get too far away from your thought, I want to understand with a high blood sugar, you're saying that no matter how, you know, amazing Sex is that feeling of being high, you can't overpower that. And I come from a place that with that question, I've, I've had sex while I'm ill before, like sick, and you don't feel sick while you're having sex. But that doesn't. That's you can't overcome that high blood sugar feeling, huh? Like endorphins in your fury, it can't mask that.
Eric 25:23
Oh, it I mean, it definitely can mask it. But you can't. You can't not be overcome. Yeah, you can't overcome the physical effects of it. And like, if. So we actually set a thing of like, if I'm over 200, we typically try not to initiate sex, just because you don't know where it's going to go between the start of sex and intersex and over 200, like I could end up at like 300 or higher. And, you know, I've had those moments where you know, you're orgasming and you're over 300. And your heart is just, you can just feel it pushing that honey thick blood through your blood vessels and going, Man, that's not good. This isn't how I want to go out. Right, exactly. And, and being 45. You know, I'm not, you know, who knows what other complications could be around the corner. So you're trying
Scott Benner 26:19
to you also try not to put too much tax on your body in general. Exactly. That's it, which is already being taxed by the HUD, the high blood sugar already. Right? Do you think if you went down in that moment from a heart attack, would you ever were with all to be like, like, clean me up before they get here? Or do you do? What do you think your last thought would be on your way over? Like, ah, I knew this was gonna happen.
Eric 26:42
I don't know what my wife would take care of me for sure. Heather, Heather would know, she would chew
Scott Benner 26:48
up the situation, it would look like it would look like you guys were taking Family Photos when 911 got there. I always hope at my death that I have a minute to realize I'm dying. Like I don't want it to be painful. But I want to be able to cognitively like understand that I'm leaving. Because I want to know the I want to be able to think finally I'm in arrest. Like that's what I want to be. I want to like consciously be aware of like, Oh, I'm not gonna be tired tomorrow. This is fantastic. Yeah, but so. And then I have I mean, this seriously, it's gonna sound like a joke. But when you're low on the lower side, like say your blood sugar's 85. And you're, you know, you're vigorously having sex. I keep saying having sex, I want to say, but I have I keep saying, and so. And do you ever use that as an excuse to not be the more active person in a position? Do you ever say Yo, you got to jump up on top here? Cuz I think I could hold on to this 85 blood sugar? If I'm not the one thrusting? Have you ever. But do you get can you get lazy and use your blood sugar as an excuse? I think is my question.
Eric 27:54
So this is this is the difference between a diabetic and a non diabetic in that conversation, you actually are more likely to be in a better position to become more active when you're low. Because, you know, if, if I'm, if I've got thin blood sugar, and it's hard to maintain a rec interaction, it's gonna be hard in any position. So when more aggressive than Well, no, what I'll do is is so you switch up what you're doing. And let's say I've taken a glucose tab, which you know, in game glucose tabs is no shame, right? You get that glucose tab in and then you focus on manual stimulation of her or oral stimulation of glucose tabs dissolved, maybe there's and then you've got time to get your blood sugar back up without losing the mood. And actually, it's, it's kind of a good thing, because, you know, as all guys know it, there's more time typically involved for a female to enjoy ourselves. So I hear what you're saying takes forever.
Scott Benner 29:05
Now, I'm, I'm gonna ask you a question that I think it's possible, you might say yes to do you ever incorporate the glucose into the event?
Unknown Speaker 29:15
Um,
Scott Benner 29:16
I know I'm pleased apologize to your wife. If the answer's yes. Because now I feel like I'm asking a question about her too, but she's never, like, hit a tablet somewhere and been like, yo, go get that. Nothing like that.
Eric 29:28
No, no. You know, we could be more interesting, I guess and keep honey by the bedside and like, you know, yeah, put honey on the spot. Yeah.
Scott Benner 29:41
I think people are gonna listen to these after dark episodes and realize that the guy that's teaching them how to use insulin
Eric 29:48
as a problem, it's a no, it's a new side is gone, right?
Scott Benner 29:53
No, I'll tell you. I mean, this, um, if I'm lucky about one thing and my ability to talk often Cough, it's that I think a lot of people are limited when they're speaking to the ideas that they actually firmly believe or, or hold to be true. My brain can go find examples of things that I've never considered before in my entire life. And it happens, like in a split second, so I can say something ridiculous. And most people, you know, will listen and think, Oh, well, he must, um, you know, he must have these thoughts all the time, but I trust me, I say stuff, I do not mean in any meaningful way. Like, they just popped into my head. And I just thought, like, I wonder if maybe his wife could start stuffing like tablets around and being like, yo, you know, piggy go route that out? You'll be okay. And?
Eric 30:40
Yeah, no, I mean, luckily, luckily for most diabetics, like the, the, you know, there's sugar hidden in all parts of the house, and most especially by the bed, and so depending on where you are, you typically have access nearby. And, you know, it doesn't have to be me always being aware of the situation, you know, she can ask a question, Hey, are you low?
Or, you know, how are you feeling?
Scott Benner 31:11
Have you ever been in the act and just seen a hand come up with a juice box? Like the shepherd just be like, Yo, I know what this guy needs like this. In my, my real question is, is that is it on you? Unless it's an emergency situation? Is it on you just to maintain it? And I guess to the secondary part of that question is, How hard is it to be aware of your blood sugar while you're having sex? The dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor is a staple in our house. Being able to see my daughter's glucose trends and values at a glance, is that's irreplaceable. Honestly, right there on my iPhone or your Android doesn't matter which phone you have, you'll be able to see a loved one's blood sugar. And if you're an adult living with Type One Diabetes, you'll be able to see your own right there on your screen. Quick swipe, there it is. The Dexcom shows you your rate of change. how fast you're moving in a direction, right? Am I going up? Am I going down? That wasn't even a pun. Anyway, is it happening quickly or slowly? The Dexcom g six will tell you everything you need to know about your blood sugar. So not only can you know your blood sugar's and their speeds, you can know their directions, which is important. making great decisions about Pre-Bolus thing for meals or, you know, as you're listening to today, being ready to have some fun, what could be worse than getting in the mood, getting into bed and getting too low to perform. With your Dexcom you can see what your blood sugar is ahead of time and make changes that will put you in the position you want to be when you're getting into the position you want to be in. I thought that was pretty clever. I gotta be honest with you. I hope you do too. Go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box to learn more about the G six continuous glucose monitor doesn't matter if you're an adult, or a child. If you're living with Type One Diabetes, or honestly using insulin at all even type twos, the information that comes back from the dexcom g six is life changing. And I mean if it helps you get off better, that's just a bonus. With the time that's remaining, let's talk about the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. First things first tubeless no tubing don't have to hide in your clothing and isn't a problem when you're not wearing any clothes. Just imagine all of the things that a tube could get caught on I mean a doorknob handle on your dresser someone's I mean, you're gonna have to fill in the blank there, right, but a lot of body parts tubing could get caught on. But with the Omni pod, you don't have that problem. No door knobs or knobs of any kind to worry about tubing getting caught on. The Omni pod is terrific. I believe in it. My daughter has been wearing it forever. And you can check it out at my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Now when you get there, ask for the free no obligation demo. They'll send it on the pod right to your house. Right You could be on MDI right now but thinking about a pump, slap that on the pod on somewhere, jump into bed with your significant other and put it through its paces. See if that thing holds on. Eight seconds. Isn't that a bull riding thing? Right? Yeah, to stay on for eight seconds. Well the Omni pod is gonna stay on for three days. Right? 72 hours is how long the Omni pod last night great. You put one on last for 72 hours insulin runs out, pop it off, put on a new one going again, nice fresh infusion sites every 72 hours. All kinds of different FDA approved locations for you to put the pump on. So you're going to have a lot of choice choices. What's important Check out the Omni pod demo to see if it's a good choice for you. And then bring it home and brains out and see if it falls off or not. I bet you it won't vegetal hold on like my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box, get that free demo today dexcom.com forward slash juice box, check out the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. This is the perfect tandem of diabetes devices. My opinion? Get out there, upgrade your stuff.
How hard is it to be aware of your blood sugar while you're having sex?
Eric 35:41
Um, you know, there, there are times that I'm completely unaware. Like there are times that like I said, you, you you're done having sex and below, you realize, wow, I was really low during that time period. And I just didn't realize that. And for whatever reason, the physical response hadn't happened yet. Or I'm high and you know, didn't know that, either. Because you're right. You know, sex is about passion and passion covers up a lot in the moment. So what that means, though, is oftentimes you'll spike higher or lower than you would normally realize. You know, I don't particularly like to have a watch on while I'm having sex, but like, if I do, then, you know, Dexcom can tell me where I am. And I don't always like I I think it's important that I don't let it interfere with our sex life too much. So of course, I generally know where I am from a blood sugar level, but it's not like I I think that's one of the advantages of being tubeless. And all this other stuff is I don't actually have to physically disconnect anything. You don't start going up automatically because you're losing your bazel Right, right. It's not like I'm going to run a race and I have to play in 30 minutes in advance before I have sex I we can you know, we can let the moment take us.
Scott Benner 37:10
I allude to that in some of my Omni pod ads. I wonder if people hear it when I'm like, you don't have to disconnect you know, for whatever you're doing. And I think in this episode, I'm just gonna say it the ad and bleep bleep it out. That's a tagline. I'm sure the pod wants to know, the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. You don't have to take it off.
Unknown Speaker 37:30
Yeah, really, really
Scott Benner 37:32
tell you what, they might sell a couple of that.
Eric 37:36
Seriously, but like, I I'm lucky. I should point this out. You know, I am lucky in that. You know, my wife has no problem with my devices. Yeah. My ex wife actually, like part of the the control that was delivered by her. I wasn't on the on the pod and I wasn't on a CGM. And that technology, or at least a pump was available. And I was constantly being told, well, you don't want something connected to your body all the time. Like, you wouldn't want that. And what she was saying
Scott Benner 38:17
is I don't want you to where that right. Exactly.
Eric 38:19
And and because of the the mind side of it. And so I don't know the situation of every diabetic out there. And there may be some fear that somebody's not going to accept your method of insulin delivery and blood sugar control. And what I think you know, everybody needs to hear is it is your insulin method and your delivery, choice and your control choice. And you need to be vocal about why you've made that choice. And either the person you're with accepts it or doesn't accept it. But if they don't accept it, that probably a signal of a bigger problem. Did
Scott Benner 39:01
you believe it when she was saying it? Did you think Yeah, I don't want that. Or were you? Were you conscious of the fact that she was subliminally telling you she didn't want it?
Eric 39:10
In the moment? And in the moment, I believe that there's a there's a master manipulator kind of effect to what she had. That led to the the control that was extremely effective. Yeah. Was she Catholic?
Scott Benner 39:29
No. I just think that there's a Yeah. So I've met some Catholics that are really good at the guilt thing. So
Unknown Speaker 39:37
Oh, right.
Scott Benner 39:41
Imagine she was Jewish. Yeah. But there's the two religions that are really on top of guilt. So
Eric 39:47
well, like Yeah, and that's, I mean, look it that was a really dark time, but that was a part of an aspect of it. Like you know, my wife and I, Heather, we have a we have a like group Really free life together, were very open and encouraging. And everything that we do we talk about things in a way like she, she's a change from being a CPA to a licensed professional counselor, she's an intern right now, all based on her ability to communicate and understand relationships. And that's really what inspired me to come on to this is because if you can take the lessons learn from Heather in our relationship, whether you're in a committed relationship or not, when it comes to sex, like you can have a really normal and beautiful sex life, even as a diabetic,
Scott Benner 40:48
I think to it harkens back to something I said on the podcast a number of times, but you need to be with the right person, and a person who can accept that you have a glucose monitor or you know, insulin pump, or that you need insulin or whatever, that's not the right person. You know, you don't want to live an entire life in a battle where you're being manipulated about your your diabetes of all things. That's just, that's terrible. You know, and so I would try to look at it from a more positive aspect, which is, you have an extra sensor on you, that tells you if the person you're with is bad or not, you know what I mean? Like, like, because sometimes it's hard to tell, but this, this thing about the about diabetes, it's hard for them to mask it, if they, if they're not accepting of it, it's easy to see. And so that means it's easy for you to see that you need to be with somebody different, you know, or be treated like, like you don't deserve. And and you don't want to get I think Eric can attest this, you don't want to get caught in a way where you're being treated like that, because it's difficult to break out of because there's still I'm assuming there's other things about the person you like. And so you're ignoring your health to hold on to the parts you do. Like, is that
Eric 42:00
right? Yeah, and I and I think it becomes even more important when you think about it from a sex perspective, because sex is an accelerator, no matter like how much you you know, believe in one might nightstands or whatever sex is ultimately an accelerator in any sort of relationship. And it's physiological, like that whole oxytocin connection, like you will be forever connected to anyone that you've ever had sex with. Or if you're just in a casual relationship, and then you go have sex, like, it's automatically made that more of a thing. And so if you're, if you're already experiencing like, negative talk from somebody about your diabetes, like you need to have the conversation before you need to have sex, just because otherwise, like you're setting yourself up for a bad situation with clinging or being caught in a deeper relationship with someone who is never going to accept you as a diabetic or never accept the it's a much more complicated life to live with someone with diabetes. And families that have kids that are you know, that become diagnosed, they don't have that choice. But we as diabetics, or those that come into a relationship with a diabetic, they get to choose whether or not they want to be with a diabetic, then you want someone that's okay, making that choice. Yeah.
Scott Benner 43:27
And if you've listened to any number of the interviews on this show, when you find you hear it when people find a partner, that is right, it's it's easy. And the diabetes is never an impediment in that situation. You know, now, if you're diagnosed, you know, if you're diagnosed after you're coupled to somebody, and you find out Oh, geez, look, I guess we found their line, this is too much for them. And I don't know what to do. They're like, you know, I've been married to somebody for 15 years, and I'm diagnosed with type one, and then I realized this person is not supportive of this. Like, is that something you end a relationship over? Like? Or is it something you eat? You know, I mean, like, it's, I guess there's a lot of different scenarios where it comes up, but I think the important base of it is, is to, you know, get into a situation where people are respectful of you. I mean, I don't know that that's any different from any other part of relationship, honestly.
Eric 44:18
No, and I think that's where like, I think you hit on it. It's not any different than any part of a relationship, which means we need to use the tools that are available to us and like, therapy is great. And, you know, whether it's therapy because I've now been diagnosed and I need relationship, honestly, in my coaching, like it doesn't even have to be a licensed professional counselor. You can do Relationship Coaching, that you know, doesn't get into deeper mental health issues, but just is coaching on how to talk and educate couples on how to talk about diversity. You know, learning things like asking the question of how are you feeling as, as opposed to where is your blood sugar, you know, things like that, that really help. The same thing can go for sex, like people think about Oh, like a relationship is going into trouble I'm going to have. So now I want to go into therapy? Well, the time to have therapy is really before things go into trouble, like, you know, and there's nothing wrong with having sex therapy, as well as, you know, relationship therapy, and sometimes it can come from the same source.
Scott Benner 45:37
What do you what do you find? thinking specifically about like sex therapy? Like, what do you think? Is most people's blockade? Is it just that it was made taboo to them? Is that like, the worst thing I could do to my kid is make sex taboo to them? I guess, is my question.
Eric 45:56
It's one of the biggest, because when you think about it, sex is a form of communication. And ultimately, it's, it can be a very elaborate or an elaborate dance. And the more elaborate the dance, the more you need better communication. And feeling that shame is going to lead to not talking about things. So like, I don't want to give the impression that we're in the bedroom. And we're always like, Well, do you want me to do this here? Or do this? There is no, like, there's a time for having that communication. But if you don't communicate, like, who knows, I could have something that I'm interpreting that I'm doing that feels great for her. And she's like, yeah, that feels awful. Or it might feel good at, you know, this time, but this other time, like, don't do that. Because that affecting things if you can't have those conversations like that, because of shame, or the privacy of diabetes, or because one party feels like, you know, guy may come in and say like, this is my sex grip, and it feels good to me. Or a girl, same thing. These are the only ways that that are going to work for me if you don't have those conversations, like you're never going to have a fulfilling sex life.
Scott Benner 47:23
On the other side. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, if if you've been letting somebody twist your nipple for 30 years, and you don't like it, you know, because they're like, this must be great, right? You're like, I don't know why you would think that. But you know, like, it's not, or if you want that, and nobody would think to do it, the same thing, you have to reach out, maybe the partner is just like that. I don't want to, like, do that. That doesn't make it wouldn't feel good to me. And that really is, by the way, a human thing. We all think that what we like, sex or not sex is what everyone likes. Like, if it works for you, it just makes sense. It's, it's why we push our politics on each other, or, you know, like anything like, you know, like, this makes sense to me. So it must make sense to everybody. And that's just not the case. Yeah, I mean,
Eric 48:11
yeah, that the perfect example is, and it fits here is like the love languages, you know, if I, if my love language is touch, I'm gonna touch my wife a whole lot more, but if her love language is words, like I need to be using more words and less time, right?
Scott Benner 48:26
Yeah, the one person can be tactile one person could be more, you know, intimacy based with, you know, like you said, with, with language, it's just you and you're never gonna know if you don't ask because there's no way that you've unless, I mean, listen, those of you who are lucky, who are just like, you know, animals who bumped into another animal, like good for you, you know, because that must just be like a cage fight. I would assume you just go ahead and start throwing hands until it's over. And everybody's like, yeah, it was perfect. Because I have a question about, it occurs to me that when I'm done having sex, I am frequently hungry. And is it difficult to Pre-Bolus for a post coital meal?
Eric 49:06
Not so much in that there is a there's a natural effect of you're going to have to be higher sensitivity.
Scott Benner 49:19
Maybe you don't need as much of a Pre-Bolus because you've have all that activity. Correct. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Eric 49:26
Yeah. So I think like, I think that's one of the things we forget about the most in as diabetes is insulin sensitivity because, you know, even with all the algorithms stuff, you know, loop and whatnot, even bazel iq, whatever it is, insulin sensitivity is determined to be flat unless you tell it's different. But great thing about sex is your insulin sensitivity goes up afterwards. So if you're hungry afterwards, like it takes less insulin or you know, you're less likely to spike because and frankly, sex is worth a spike. Yeah, put that on a T shirt.
Scott Benner 50:05
Is Bolus worthy? Is that what you're saying? Another episode with a lot of beeps I said something in an episode I recorded yesterday, that's just gonna be like nine seconds of beep just no one's gonna know what God said. Fill in the blanks for yourself, you decide what's Bolus worthy? It'll look, there you go, it'll work out for you. Um, I have, are there any things that your wife has ever said to you that you think would be valuable for other people to know, going into a relationship, you know, question she's had or things you've seen her kind of maybe like, pause about, like, the stuff that people could be looking for?
Unknown Speaker 50:53
Um,
Eric 50:55
I'm trying to understand the question
Scott Benner 50:57
like, Has she ever done something, or reacted in a certain way that would make you think like, Oh, this must be common for a lot of people like something I could know, like, might happen, so I could be ready for it or something that you could have done differently, that cause confusion for her or anything like that?
Eric 51:16
Um, I honestly, I think it's more about myself. There is a there's a natural, I guess, fear of performance for males. And, you know, this, the whole expectation of the difference between how long it takes to get a man aroused versus a woman aroused. And so there's already a lot of pressure to perform that you can feel as a man, add diabetes to it. And there is a tendency for me to hold that in, as opposed to share it with my wife. And the pressure that you feel. Yes, right. Not to this? Well, yes. Yeah. So we're like, you know, oh, look, it's you know, tonight's not gonna be online, you know, honey, but like, I still want to be together. Yeah. And I, you know, she's been good about encouraging that communication. Yeah, there's a lot of things that whether it's diabetic, or just sex related, you know, you know, reminder that, you know, sometimes sex can just be physical, we both may not be like, in that romantic place, but we need to physically Connect. And so we have, you know, there's an opportunity to have sex outweigh, like, there's just a lot in a relationship that I guess, if you're married to a diabetic male, chances are that male is not going to be comfortable about talking about it.
And boys are silly,
Scott Benner 53:03
they really don't talk much. And by the way, you just said bang one out in the nicest way I've ever heard anyone say it my entire life.
Unknown Speaker 53:11
I'm married to a therapist. And I say
Scott Benner 53:14
that in the way that a man or a woman could be comfortable with, you could have said that in front of a total stranger, they would have been like, Oh, I know what he means. He means, you know, sometimes you just need to quit real quick. And you put you really were good at that. You know, it's funny, I don't want to brag, but I will for a second. I realized that I your your answer about like time, like the pressure to perform, like when you said pressure to perform. It didn't strike me the way you meant it at first. Because that is just never been an issue for me. Like you could say to me, or let's if we were together, and you said to me, Scott, I want to have sex and I but I only wanted the last four minutes. I'm your man. And if you said to me, Scott, I want to have sex tonight. But I wanted to go 45 minutes, whatever, I'll do that too. Like, I don't have. I can't, it doesn't matter to me. I can do it for as long as you want to do it. And that sounds like it's not even a humble brag. It sounds like bragging. But it's not. It's just what I found in my life. But I realized that that's just specific to me and not to everybody. Like there's no amount of time I couldn't accommodate. As far as I know. I've never I've never gone I've never gone for like you know, you know, three hours or something like that. I'm not saying that. But I'm just saying that within the in the, in the confines of reasonability where a woman would not be like, Oh, god, I'm, you know, this is not pleasurable anymore. Like, you know, I mean, whatever that space of time is, I'm okay. And, but yeah,
Eric 54:37
and I think what what's interesting is, is, in general, comparison is the thief of joy. And we're constantly bombarded with these images of what sex should be. You know what sex is on TV. or, or, you know, pornography, pornographic images that are put out there, right and whatnot and you know, that can put a lot of pressure on anyone, whether you're in a committed relationship or early on in a relationship of what you think the other person thinks you should be able to do from a performance perspective. And there are some people that are like, Hey, I'm gonna go get mine, and I don't really care what happens to the other person. Yeah, there are other people that, you know, a lot of their arousal is derived by the arousal of their partner. And so that becomes a very important part of sex, in, in their relationship. And so, I think there's a lot of angles to it. And I think that's why if, if anything else that I can take, you know, that everybody could take from this conversation is one, remember the physical side of blood thickness, and all of this, but in to communicate, but, but really three, like, don't be afraid to, if you're not communicating in the same lanes with your partner on sex, to get somebody that can help guide you in those conversations, because regardless of whether it's four minutes or 45 minutes, and you know, that can mean a whole lot of things, you could have, you know, two hours of foreplay, and two minutes of of actual penetration, or you could have, like, you know, much longer penetration, depending on what the circumstances are. But it's all sex, whether it's manual simulation, oral simulation, or whatever. And I think that's, I think what you have to do is realize that being diabetic, you've just got to add a little bit more versatility into it and change the script during during the act. Just to make sure that that y'all are connecting in a way that that's fulfilling.
Scott Benner 56:58
Yeah, that's, that's good advice early as I can. Um, I do think that were you saying a minute ago that the access to pornography has given people unreasonable expectations for what sex should be?
Eric 57:14
I think it's, there's a lot of it's and it's not just pornography, but it's it's also just bravado. And or it's really the simple act of comparison is like, if I'm always comparison, it's like, so I, you know, Don, Mattel's running across the US as a type one diabetic. Like, last year, he ran across Texas, I ran for days with them, I ran 110 miles with the guy for four days. And afterwards, I've like spent weeks going, Yeah, but he ran 150. And I'm like, That's stupid. Like, I ran 110 miles, I gotta own that like the same thing. And in insects, like, if my wife feels really good about our sex life, and I make her feel really good, then all of the other comparisons don't matter. And I think what happens is when we see things like pornography, or we see what's going on TV, or we hear people talk about like, I, you know, people get here, you say, hey, like, I could go for 45 minutes, if that makes the website. Yeah. And and it's really, that's not the point. Because, honestly, I'm sure there's some women be like, hey, please do not make it 45 Minute. Oh, yeah, like
Scott Benner 58:37
100%. Yeah. And that, and that's what I was saying to it doesn't need to be that long. It could be it could be whatever, whatever is fulfilling, I mean, my honest interpretation of, of a sexual relationship. I've always just sort of thought that if I concentrate on my partner's pleasure, and they're concentrating on mine, then we both make out, okay, do not need me like, it's like, if you're not going in very, like greedily, I think and thinking about, like, this is what I want out of this, and I'm gonna make sure this thing happens for me, then, you know, everyone should, you know, I'm assuming have a reasonable time, you know, and get and get what they're looking for out of it. Whether it be emotional or physical. You know, we're just recreational, I
Eric 59:21
guess. Yeah. No, that's that's a great way to look at it. There's a there's a great blogger, Dr. Kelly Flanagan that says, he's got a book called marriages for losers. And that's the whole the whole concept there is like if you're focused on giving your partner what they need, as opposed to winning an argument or winning the sex race, whatever it is, if you're focusing on selflessly giving, then especially in sex, then you're gonna have a great sex life.
Scott Benner 59:54
Yeah, it should give back to like I think that's a life lesson. Honestly. It's you know, The other day while we were doing this show that I, that I think the way I talk about insulin really is just the way I think about life. It's it's just common sense. And you know it, there's a weird overlap there that I'm still discovering. But I realized that I didn't come up with some amazing, you know, thing about insulin out of the clear blue, it's just how I think about things, and it happens to work with diabetes management. And I think that there's a way to live that, you know, works with a lot of things. And I think being selfless is one of them, like, just that idea of, if I'm a person who's helping the people around me, and they're helping me, then, you know, we get to think about other people, which is incredibly fulfilling. And, and, and it fills you up, you know, I don't have a, I'm not a religious person, by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel you know, I don't know if you'd call it spiritually or emotionally, like, I feel full like that. And I, it's from this podcast, you know, with in regards to diabetes. And in my personal life, I just came to the conclusion A long time ago, I've been a stay at home dad for a really long time. But I just came to the conclusion A long time ago that my kids had things they needed, I was the one they were looking to, for them, and that I had to find meaning in doing those things. Like, if you can't look at vacuuming the carpet is like this thing that's like, I can't believe I'm the one that has to vacuum the carpet, you have to think of it as I'm providing a clean home for my children, you know, and they'll grow up one day thinking that having a clean home is important. And they'll you know, they'll do the same and I don't know, there's just there has to be, there has to be something in those things that that fills you up, you can't always be looking to climb a mountain or, you know, bang as many girls as you can or like, that's just like a weird way to like live your life, I think. And yeah, you know,
Eric 1:01:57
no, there's, there's beauty in what you're offering. And I think that's the thing is, is if it's important to find beauty in what you're offering, but it's also important that your partner finds beauty in what you're offering. And I think, you know, it's very easy to come out and distance from things that don't feel good. Like if your sex life is not working well, whether it's because you've been newly diagnosed, or you still haven't figured out diabetes and sex, like the natural inclination is to distance. But the real answer to the problem is, is to actually have more sex because it's just like, any other thing. You do, like if, if you're vacuuming and you've only vacuumed once, like watching my you know, kids vacuum for the first time, it's like, what are you doing? Like, you're not even playing to the carpet, right? But like after, over time you learn how to vacu Well, it's the same thing with sex like, and your body. There's actual just like diabetes and exercise, diabetes and sex. There's a physical adet adaptation where your body starts to go, Oh, hey, I know what this is. It's bound to bump over time. And like, I know how to adjust. Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:03:19
no, I hear. That sounds cool. All right. Listen, this was fun. I appreciate you doing this. Dude.
Eric 1:03:26
Did we not say anything that you thought, Oh, we should definitely say, while we're here, uh, just for dudes, you know, because there is something out there around diabetes and rectal dysfunction and fears around that. And I think it's just important to know, you know, there's studies out there that say anywhere from 35 to 75% of type ones will ultimately experience EDI and the type ones are 50%. More likely. It's a good thing to just have conversations with your wife about it, instead of living in that fear alone. Just I think with anything else, whatever your fear is, don't hold it to yourself, share it with your spouse so that she can join you in there. And y'all can plan together for what life looks like at that time.
Scott Benner 1:04:25
Oh, that's a great idea. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate you doing this in the middle of the coronavirus, lockdown.
Eric 1:04:32
Yes. seems perfect time to talk about sex when we're supposed to be physically distancing.
Scott Benner 1:04:38
Yes. Physically distancing nine months from now. They're gonna be 8 billion babies flying out of vaginas all over the world. Yeah. I mean, how long can you stay in your house before you just like I think people who hate each other are gonna start.
Eric 1:04:56
Honestly, though, like there is a certain amount of like, hey, if you Last a diabetic, like if my wife gets sick, like, you know, how much sex should we be having right now? Like, it's actually a thing like a conversation, you know,
Scott Benner 1:05:11
I'm gonna tell you a story, Eric that I didn't think would ever come up on this podcast ever. But when I was like 20 years old, I think I was dating this girl, she was lovely. And I got really sick. I had, I had mono. So I was like, shot, like, I could barely move. I felt like I was dying. And this girl was an angel, she would come over every day, to have sex with me to make me feel better. I have to tell you, that I would live an entire day almost incapable of moving. I was so sick. And for the time she was there, I felt really great. And, and I would say to her, like the first time like, you can't get this. She's like, we'll just keep our faces away from our each other's faces. And I was like, Oh, this girl's applier. She really was terrific. I did not end up married to her just so everyone doesn't think that was my wife and that story, but but she was really like, it was funny. Like she was young. And you know, she didn't have you know, like, you mean, we were young. We didn't have like incredibly deep relationship. And I felt I think that the things she felt like she had to offer me to help me feel better was her body and that's what she did. And I was really grateful at the time. I still think about it. 30 years later is one of the more selfless things anyone's ever done. But having said that, don't get the Coronavirus because you want to have sex? Because this is more serious than mano I? Yes, yes. Yes. But yeah, it gets it's a it's a scary thing, right? Like, because we're talking about, you know, droplets, you know, from your mouth. And then I'm assuming that again, it's funny I talked about I talked about Coronavirus with a doctor the other day he's gonna come back on I guess I'm gonna have to ask him about how a transfer during sex would work. And get and get a real question real answer out of that, because this one with you will go up after that one. So sure, you know, people look back one day and go Oh, I remember hearing that. So you'll know that that question came up here with Eric. And I hope all of you will still listen after hearing just a tiny bit about how I have sex. Figured out like oh, I'm done with this show. Or this was really cool of you to do man. He talked about some stuff that I don't imagine a lot of people would want to talk about and actually from responses from men. There were not a lot of men who want to talk about it. So you did a you did a really nice thing here for a lot of people. So thank you very much.
Eric 1:07:46
Thank you Scott. I appreciate the forum. Absolutely.
Scott Benner 1:07:52
If you want to check out Eric good dot your life.com that's that's your counseling at DOT your life.com also on Instagram at chronic superhuman. Huge thanks to the greatest mother insulin pump on the planet the Omni pod tubeless baby, check it out my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box Get yourself a free no obligation demo today. Stop getting your insulin pump tubing caught on people's. And the next calm g six continuous glucose monitor head over dexcom.com forward slash juice box links in the show notes of your podcast player and at Juicebox podcast.com. Ah, feel good to curse a little bit. I love cursing. I swear to God I could spend all day saying shove it up your mother. So much goodness comes from cursing. Hey, thanks so much for checking out the after dark series from the Juicebox Podcast today, of course was sex from the male perspective. We also have sex from the female perspective, depression and self harm trauma and addiction, smoking weed drinking beers, we got a lot and there's more coming. There's a lot more Actually, I have a couple recorded right now for afterdark you're going to enjoy these things. They're honest conversations about real life issues that everyone has. And you know, people with type one diabetes have them too. We just never seem to talk about them for some reason. Well, not here. On this podcast, we're gonna pick into the deep dark recesses corners of you know, reality and talk about it. We're pretty far from 15 carbs 15 minutes. I think that's right where we need to be. How can you possibly be expected to live with something like type one diabetes, if you don't understand the full scope and impact that the disease can have and ways that you can mitigate those impacts. That's it. I didn't mean to get serious then. Should I curse again? Oh, we how do we want to end? I was just gonna blurt out a curse and now I feel a lot of pressure to pick the right one. And that's something I can't think of one. That's crazy. Thanks so much for listening to the Juicebox Podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please leave a rating and review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen and of course tell a friend share the show. Please help me spread the word.
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