Scott Benner 9/7/23 Scott Benner 9/7/23

#993 Diabetes Myths: Insulin with Type 2 is a Failure

A brand new series examining the myths surrounding diabetes.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 993 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Jenny Smith is back with me today for another diabetes myth. Today we're going to tackle the myth that if you're using insulin as a type two, it's a failure. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you'd like to hire Jenny, she works at Integrated diabetes that gums that diabetes for over 35 years she's a dietitian, a CDE she's wonderful, you'll hear integrated diabetes.com Speaking of good deals, use my link drink ag one.com forward slash juice box. And when you do, your first order will come with a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs of 81 you can use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com to save 40% off of your entire order. And if you go to us med.com forward slash juicebox you'll be getting a special link just for Juicebox Podcast listeners. And you can get started with us med Alright, let's get to the show shall we?

Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom. Now Dexcom makes the sensor that my daughter's wearing right now the Dexcom G seven. They also make the G six which many of you are using dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. If there's an easier way to manage type one diabetes, I don't know it. The Dexcom G seven is a simple CGM system that delivers real time glucose numbers to your smartphone or your smartwatch. No finger sticks are required. Effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they've headed. So you can make smarter decisions about food activity, and the other variables that are impacting your blood sugar. Go to my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox to see the device. Watch great videos. Find out more about how it works. We're just get started. You have type two diabetes, type one gestational Dexcom may be for you Dexcom G seven can help you to spend more time in range, which is proven to lower a onesie. The more time you spend in range, the better and healthier you'll feel. Use the Dexcom clarity app which is built right into the Dexcom G seven app to track your glucose trends. It will even provide you with a projected a one C in as little as two weeks. dexcom.com forward slash juicebox Dexcom G seven features lightning fast 30 minute warmup time. Oh, that's twice as fast as other CGM systems. Wait, do you see how terrific it is to go from one device to the next. The way we do it here is you're wearing a G seven, and you put on the next one, but don't disconnect the first one. So the next one sits on for a half an hour. And now it's ready to go. And then you make the switch. You never lose a reading. It's absolutely fantastic. There's actually a ton that's great about the g7. You gotta go to the link to check it out. dexcom.com forward slash juice box, set your alerts and alarms wherever you want. So you're notified of lows, highs falling or rising blood sugars. And of course that 30 minute warm up is just magical. Dex comm.com forward slash juice box head over now get started. What else can you do with this link? Let me show you. Oh, let me see. New Dex calm, explore the G six explore the g7 Oh, you can put in your information to get Dexcom to contact you and get started. That's pretty cool. There's a bunch of frequently asked questions at the bottom to answer all of your questions. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free. I appreciate you listening to this ad right now. And because you were nice enough to do that. It will be no more ads for the rest of the show.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:19
I have 10 minutes. Alright, so whatever we can do short 10 minutes. Okay, that's

Scott Benner 4:24
awesome. I have it right here. I know you do. Don't worry, Jay. There's a list for everything you're with.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:32
Outstanding. You're like I got this. We're gonna

Scott Benner 4:35
let's go right to this one. All right. Let's discuss the myth that insulin is bad for someone with type two diabetes. Oh, my big one which I mentioned with oh, this person must have been on the podcast I mentioned this in my episode was that for decades? I believe that going on insulin was the last resort for someone with type two So how do we make sense of this idea? When, as soon as you're told you have pre diabetes or type two diabetes, someone says to diet and exercise, we can turn this around? Now, I guess first of all, is that always true? Like, is there a world where you couldn't if you couldn't stop if your knees didn't hurt? If you didn't have a job? Can you diet and exercise your way? Out of type two? Every time?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 5:29
Every time? No? Okay, I think, again, that's it is it's kind of a blanket statement. And unfortunately, no, as we know, every person is individual, right? Every person has a way that something will or will not necessarily work, or we'd have even insulin itself, we'd have one kind of insulin, and everybody would just be able to use the one kind of insulin right? Does lifestyle, especially for type two, in a grand majority of studies in research, you can actually find that lifestyle from the get go, especially if type two is discovered earlier, rather than later, when many, many times complications may have already set in, unfortunately. And that might be what send somebody to the doctor because of something that they're experiencing to kind of get it checked out. And then they discover, oh, well, you have diabetes as well. Right. But I think the earlier the better, which just calls for more early on health screenings from primary care, and just lab work, you should get that done yearly to check up on things and see how things are going. Because the sooner that you can catch it, the sooner you can make really awesome lifestyle changes. And you could halt the progression. Absolutely.

Scott Benner 6:50
Yeah, I'm not saying like, I'm not saying keep, you know, taking poor care of your health, if that's what's happening, I'm saying that telling someone, hey, just eat a salad, do a sit up, and this is gonna go away is not always gonna happen, right? No, and there are new medications. Now we've talked about them in the type two Pro Tip series. I'm watching two people I know, using ozempic right now with their type two with like, great success, not just awesome, not just weight loss, like lower, like they're almost no spikes at meals, like more normal blood sugar is really fantastic stuff. And I wonder if after more weight loss, if you won't see that get better and better as time goes on. But my point is, this is if you're in a position where you need the insulin, and you're not taking it, you are doing more harm than good in that in that time. And, and this is the next part of this. And you know, I started off by saying type two, but I mean, maybe this really, because I hear this from so many people. And this is the last thing I'm going to ask you in this episode is a very short episode. But I think this is a big deal. I was told not to inject insulin, because it kills the rest of your pancreas. Now, you know, that's the thing people think, Oh, that's so wrong, right? But why do they think that I can never figure this one out. Shoes and type ones.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 8:14
That it kills your pancreas. If I mean, if anything, actually injecting insulin. It can actually, it can take the stress off of the betas that from a standpoint of type two, maybe initial diagnosis, you have to use insulin for a short time because levels have been so high, you're almost at this glucose toxic level, that you have to get something to overcome that in a faster manner than many of the oral kind of therapies, or even some of the newer injectables may not hit that the way that it needs to be done. And so taking insulin helps to decrease the stress that's being put on the betas, you're asking them to work without a break. It's almost like asking them to do 24 hour 24 hour at this really high production rate that they're never going to be able to overcome. And so adding some injectable insulin can actually decrease the stress and could actually do the opposite of what you just said.

Scott Benner 9:17
I listen. Um, I don't think it I've just heard people say it over and over and over again. Listen, this whole series is about basically you and I go and why would someone think that and trying to come up with where that would come from? I don't, I don't get this one. Like you don't either use insulin, you make it worse, you use insulin, you stop your pancreas from working the rest of the way or by the way, you can use too much insulin, which I think those two thoughts live on the same plane of existence in someone's head, but I don't understand where that comes from either. Like is it? Is it that type ones. Maybe it's that when people start using insulin, they'll sometimes gain weight as type ones and then they say insulin made me gain weight. They don't. What's your answer to that? I say I tell them the same thing. Every time. Insulin doesn't make you gain weight, calories make you gain weight, you're just

Jennifer Smith, CDE 10:10
which is true. But from an from a type one perspective on a little deeper level, if they have had such high blood sugars for such a long time, then they've actually been able to maintain or most often you see weight loss prior to diagnosis, because they've been peeing out an excessive amount of calories, because the body doesn't have the insulin to actually put it into the body in storage, like it's supposed to. Yes, so you lose weight by pulling out the excess, that you're, you know, that should be actually kept, you're the ones you start taking insulin, your body's like, Yay, I've got something here that I can package this stuff away the way that it's supposed to. And so, yes, you may get back to a healthy weight, I've actually also seen, especially in kids and teens, where they may not have actually been keeping up with growth curves prior to diagnosis even. And once they start on insulin, and their body actually has the right amount there, then weight gain can actually increase. And if you're not careful, as you said initially, then caloric intake needs to be the next step in management. Just because you're taking insulin, doesn't mean that you can go hog wild with caloric intake might be a need to balance

Scott Benner 11:32
also the cause and effect is off sometimes. So like you said, the way I think about this, what you just said was like that you're in like a low level of DKA all the time, right? Yeah. So your your, your body's trying to die because it doesn't have enough insulin, but you're giving it just enough to keep it from actually happening. And so you're on this unhealthy weight to begin with. And then suddenly you add the right amount of insulin. God knows what do you hear people say all the time at their diagnosis, I swear to you, I hear it 50 times a year, I thought, Oh my God, my diet is finally working. They see it all the time. They're so thrilled before they're diagnosed because they're like, I'm finally losing the weight that I've been trying to lose,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:10
especially for adults who are diagnosed Oh, my God. Yeah, absolutely.

Scott Benner 12:14
So So you're basically in that situation where your body can't properly perform. And so you're underweight for the reasons, Jenny said, and then you bring the insulin in, and your body's like, Oh, good, I can do the right things now, not realizing you've been eating crazy amounts of food, because who cares, right? Because I wasn't getting people say it all the time. Well, I got I was eating ice cream. I was doing this. I never gained any weight. I thought I finally figured it out. Bla bla bla. So I think that's, I think that's that space right there. But, I mean, again, I don't I mean, that's, that's as close as I can come to digging through it. But with the certainty that people will say it online, I'm stunned and scared by it all the time, because I don't use insulin is. I mean, especially for a type one. It's just such a dangerous statement to make. And absolutely, it happens a lot. Oh, don't use it, the more you use, the worse it's gonna get, you're gonna kill your pancreas, you're gonna die. I'm like, oh, god, shut up. No, no, no, like, stop saying that's where you? I don't know. Yeah, absolutely.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:20
And I think from a type two perspective, for the majority of time, people feel like insulin means that they have ultimately failed in everything that they have put into action, you know, their doctor or their educator was like, let's let's do these lifestyle things that start you on these medications. And potentially, at some point, many people will still need to use insulin. And there is a progressive nature to type two. Again, lifestyle still navigated and maintained really well, at some point, many people may or may need insulin added. That doesn't mean it's a failure, it means that now you're going to have something that also helps because in the background, your pancreas isn't doing as much as it was before doesn't mean that you failed in all of your management and adjustment to your life and everything. You have to keep doing those things. Insulin is just it's an additional tool in your toolbox. That's going to help keep you healthy.

Scott Benner 14:21
And I'm not saying either that you don't want to extend that time if you can, correct Yeah, I think that's fantastic. If you get by the way, even like a slow onset, like a lot of diagnosis, like like, keep it going as long as you can. Every day you don't have to futz with all this stuff is fantastic, you know, but, but once it comes, I don't know couching it as a failure is, is dangerous. And I don't think it's not true that doctors don't say like, well, we want to keep you off of insulin as long as possible. And then people's brains fill in the rest of that with however, these myths start to exist, right.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:54
They're kind of reading between the line of which there's not, there's not really something written there. They're just filling it in, like you said, like the doctor, we're gonna keep insulin out of the picture for as long as we can, which again, is kind of like saying, Well, gosh, once we get to that point, but that's it, we got to add insulin now.

Scott Benner 15:12
Jenny, I'm gonna end with this because I, I'll go on forever if I talk about this, but I think that if people could get a printed list every day of all the things they're wrong about that they think they're exactly right about me included, everybody included, we'd all spend a lot of time just sat in the corner going, Oh, my God, I thought that for sure was right. Because your brain fills in the gaps with whatever information you have, and it doesn't mean it's the right information. So anyway, I appreciate you doing this. Thank you. Absolutely, thank you.

I want to thank Dexcom for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and remind you that you can support the podcast and help yourself by going to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. Go get started today with the g7 for the GS six. I also want to thank Jenny and remind you that she works at integrated diabetes.com You can actually hire Jenny to help you with your diabetes. Thanks, thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. This myth series I'm enjoying it there's a handful more episodes left than the series is done. But what a great idea this was whoever thought of this on the Facebook group. Thank you wonderful. If you are a loved one has been diagnosed with type one diabetes. The bold beginnings series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to begin listening. In this series, Jenny Smith and I will go over the questions most often asked at the beginning of type one. Jenny is a certified diabetes care and education specialist who is also a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for 35 years. My name is Scott Benner and I am the father of a child who has type one diabetes. Our daughter Arden was diagnosed in 2006 at the age of two. I believe that at the core of diabetes management, understanding how insulin works, and how food and other variables impact your system is of the utmost importance. The bold beginning series will lead you down the path of understanding. This series is made up of 24 episodes. And it begins that episode 698 In your podcast, or audio player. I'll list those episodes at the end of this to listen, you can go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the menu at the top and choose bold beginnings. Or go into any audio app like Apple podcasts, or Spotify. And then find the episodes that correspond with the series. Those lists again are at Juicebox Podcast up in the menu or if you're in the private Facebook group. In the featured tab. The private Facebook group has over 40,000 members. There are conversations happening right now and 24 hours a day that you'd be incredibly interested in. So don't wait. So don't wait. Check out the bowl beginning series today and get started on your journey. Episode 698 defines the bowl beginning series 702, honeymooning 706 adult diagnosis 711 and 712 go over diabetes terminologies in Episode 715 We talked about fear of insulin in 719 the 1515 rule episode 723 long acting insulin 727 target range 731 food choices 735 Pre-Bolus 739 carbs 743 stacking 747 flexibility in Episode 751 We discussed school in Episode 755 Exercise 759 guilt, fears hope and expectations. In episode 763 of the bowl beginning series. We talk about community 772 journaling 776 technology and medical supplies. Episode Seven at treating low blood glucose episode 784 dealing with insurance 788 talking to your family and episode 805 illness and ketone management. Check it out it will change your life

#992 Hannah ReInspired

Hannah has type 1 diabetes and was reinspired after the birth of her child.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 992 of the Juicebox Podcast

Welcome back everybody today I'm gonna be speaking with Hannah. She was diagnosed when she was 12 years old and is now 26. As we recorded this Hannah had an 18 month old child said her diabetes management was terrific through her pregnancy but lost focus after the birth. And that's why we call this episode Hannah reinspired. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. You know, I never record that I always say it on every episode. And somebody recently said, Oh, I thought you just recorded that and played it over and over again, it broke my heart because apparently I could have done that. If you want to help my heart feel better go to drink ag one.com forward slash juice box and start using ag one with my drink or with my drink with my link or go to cozy earth.com buy a whole bunch of comfortable stuff and use the offer code juice box at checkout and save 40% or, or or join the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes or tell a friend about the podcast. Those are all the wonderful things you could do to make me happy. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth. I wear cozy Earth joggers sweatshirt, I sleep on cozy Earth sheets and dry my bits off after a shower with cozy Earth towels. I just bought a bunch of stuff with my own money. But I use my offer code. So I save 40% you can to use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com to save 40% off of your entire order, not one item, not just stuff on one tab, the whole website 40%. use the offer code juice box at checkout. today's podcast is also sponsored by us med now us med is the place where we get Ardens diabetes supplies. You can also get your diabetes supplies from us man. They'll do it for like anybody who has insurance they take and they take like over 800 private insurances. My point is us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 You go to the link, where you call the number, your free benefits check if they take your insurance and I'm telling you they take like over 800 of them. So probably take your insurance. Then you get going and you get your supplies the same way we do from us med.

Hannah 2:47
My name is Hannah, and I am a type one diabetic. Diagnosed at 12 and I am now 26 years old and I'm a daily listener. So this is kind of weird talking to you because I hear your voice every day. But I don't You don't know me.

Scott Benner 3:02
What do you mean? I don't know you? I'm talking to you every day. Hannah. Exactly. When you Yeah, I'm in your closet. Yes, right now. It's hard. That's why I couldn't put my camera on. Because then you'd be like, Oh my God, that's my sweater. And it would be very disconcerting.

Hannah 3:19
I am I'm looking at your face though. Your pictures very nice.

Scott Benner 3:22
Oh, thank you. It's the only decent picture I've taken and myself in five years.

Hannah 3:27
I think I remember the story about that one.

Scott Benner 3:30
Yeah, it was nice and thin. Because because the family I was staying with only drank water. I know you're laughing because I said What are wrong, right? No, that's okay. Is it water? Its water. Is it really? That sounds very wrong to me.

Hannah 3:47
I guess it's just your now people know I don't live where you live.

Scott Benner 3:51
When I say water. I feel like I'm mispronouncing a word and everyone's looking at me. Like I when I said it like that. I like the visceral feeling inside was oh, Hannah's gonna be like, Oh, this idiot. Like, like that sounds

Hannah 4:03
How do you say it again? Water. Water Water. What? Okay,

Scott Benner 4:08
what water? All right. I know. It's not right. Don't get me wrong. I'm not insane.

Hannah 4:14
I don't know if mine's right. But yeah.

Scott Benner 4:16
Why don't want to just start coming at this from a different perspective. Why are you saying water? You lunatic? So you listen every day. This is good. Everyone should listen every day. What is? Tell me about

Hannah 4:29
it? Well, I listen. Every time you post I think that's four days a week. It is a new one comes up.

Scott Benner 4:35
I started listening on the other days.

Hannah 4:39
I don't listen on the other days. Well, okay, let

Scott Benner 4:41
me just make a note about that. doesn't support you. Okay, I gotta keep going.

Hannah 4:47
When I first started listening, I think I did listen every day I'd maybe listen to like two or three a day because I was just like taking it all and I loved it. I'd like started at the beginning and then just had it roll on repeat. But then Got a little bit too much so that I don't know, I just listened to the newest ones you post

Scott Benner 5:05
be honest, when you said it got to be a little bit too much did you quietly look at yourself one day and go? Yo, what are you doing? You've listened to a diabetes podcast three times a day for the last couple of months. Stop.

Hannah 5:17
Yeah, my quality of life is pretty low at that point,

Scott Benner 5:19
right? Like, like, your husband's like, Hey, do you want and you're like, No, no, I don't have time for this. I'm listening to a podcast that was recorded six years ago.

Unknown Speaker 5:28
Right? Why were you so

Scott Benner 5:32
like, vigorous about it.

Hannah 5:35
I think when I started listening, I really resonated with the way that you approach diabetes. And it was really impactful for me, in a lot of ways, so I just kept listening and listening. And was, I guess, just surprised that I hadn't heard of it. You know, before, because I listened to quite a few podcasts. And I just kind of found it by chance just on my podcast player and say, Oh, I have diabetes. So I should probably listen to this. And I think just the way that you approach it is through story. I love all the series that you have. But then being able to listen to people's stories is really impactful. And there's always something to be gained from each episode about people's stories. So that's why I like listening, and it's just resonated with me,

Scott Benner 6:21
it's so kind of you to say that and actually very helpful that you said that because my direct access to people who listen to the show is only through Facebook, or social media. And those people are very much focused on management, which is terrific, but they don't tell me. I really enjoyed listening to that conversation with this person. Yeah, I don't hear that from them as much. And so then I'm left to just, I have to steal up on my own and go I know, this is good. I know this is right. Like keep doing it. I always say that. I mean, today's have a pretty cool day here. Hannah. I just crossed 10 million downloads. Wow, for the for the podcast.

Hannah 7:07
That's fantastic. You're at such a huge milestone. Thank

Scott Benner 7:10
you. And I'll say this for people who then go when I stream it, am I not helping download streams? Anyway, you listen as a count is counted. So thank you. Yeah,

Hannah 7:20
but 10 Count, even if someone listens to like 15 minutes of it, that doesn't finish there are

Scott Benner 7:24
standards, IAB standards that track how podcast listeners are counted. And the company that I use for my hosting is IAB compliant. So I don't I don't know the length of time that counts as a download, but mine are legitimate. They're not like, I don't do their things people do to push up their downloads, so they can sell ads. Like, they'll put out like a bunch of like four minute episodes. So that oh, you know what I mean? So like they could have, they could have 10 listeners. But if they put out like five, four minute episodes, then they get five downloads from each listener who's subscribed, like I don't do that I put out like, right contents, either quality, or I don't do it. Right, which is, I appreciate that. Thank you. And there are people who put their podcasts on webpages and put them on autoplay. So that when, when the page loads, the podcast starts to play. And then you go, what the hell is this? And you click and stop it, but they get a download out of it or a stream. So that you know that yours are legit. I don't do any of that crap. These are people listening to the podcast.

Hannah 8:34
Yeah. So it's working, and then keep it up. It's, it's phenomenal. So it's really changed in the last half a year, six months has really changed the way that I approached diabetes in a positive way. And yeah, I just I love

Scott Benner 8:49
it. How the you've only been listening for six months. Wow. Oh, that's so cool. And you've had diabetes since you were 12. And you're 26?

Hannah 8:58
Well, yeah, so this will be this June will be 15 years.

Scott Benner 9:03
Wow. Wow. No kidding. You're married? Yes.

Hannah 9:08
I am married. I've married two and a half years. You and I have

Unknown Speaker 9:11
we do have children? Do

Hannah 9:13
I have an 18 month old?

Scott Benner 9:14
Oh my god had it because I saw you for a minute when we first started talking and you don't like you haven't lost the will to live yet. So I thought you didn't have kids?

Hannah 9:22
No, I love having a kid.

Scott Benner 9:25
Oh, we all love having kids. And that's not what I said. You don't have that stare on your face? Yeah. No,

Hannah 9:33
I slept great last night. You know, he slept through the night so I'm well well rested. He's with grandma right now. And yeah, congratulations.

Scott Benner 9:41
If only you would have had the baby a little later could have been named Scott. But yeah, but no.

Hannah 9:47
And his name does start with an S but it's not Scott. I'm sorry.

Scott Benner 9:51
Is there any way you would tell me that the S is for me?

No, thanks. Wow.

Least I know you won't lie or anything. Conversation. here's the here's the thing I can tell you about, about having a kid. That's from my, from my experience. Just last night, my day went really well. Yesterday, I worked a little too much. I got off a edited. I did an interview that went longer than I thought it was going to be. 90 or so minutes later, excuse me two hours later, it might be the longest episode I've ever made. I had just talked about a very heavy issue with a person and I was like, drained. I came downstairs, I ate some food very quickly said to my wife, I double booked myself that I have to go back up and record again, that episode went an hour and a half. I got done like literally got done turned to I have another computer next to me it turned on my computer to look at my emails. And I noticed that I've have like a warning on my phone about something and I look over at it and it's Arden is contacting me. And she says, I need help. I have a flat tire. And I'm like, wait, okay, so I start like your brain starts chugging through, like she has a flat tire. Is there a pump in the car, let me see what to do. She's at school, like, I don't know that town that well. And then she shows me on FaceTime, she doesn't have a flat tire she she made a turn in an old town along a curb. And sticking out from that curb was an old fashioned cast iron sewer. And it had a sharp corner on it. And she hit it with her back wheel. And it broke the wheel and rip the tire open. Oh geez. And she's like, I was maybe going three miles an hour. And she's and she's like, I know I hit it. But like, She's such a good driver. She's like, I'm such a I'm like, I know it's okay. Like, don't worry about it. But you know, we took care of the whole thing. And I talked her through it. My wife texted her. I was like, It's okay, we're fine. You're fine. Like, don't worry about it. And then it hit me later. This is what it is, like that idea that like everything can be okay. And then suddenly for reasons that have nothing to do with any of the decisions that you have made in your life. Something unavoidable happens.

Hannah 12:14
Yeah, sure.

Scott Benner 12:14
I hate that feeling. I really hated that feeling. I don't care about the tire the wheel like will will replace it, it's fine. But that feeling is it numbs me inside a little bit. So anyway, look forward to that number of times. Oh my god. Anyway, congratulations on the baby.

You are

you found the podcast and you started listening you said I have diabetes? I should probably listen to this but that's how was your was it about management? Was it about meeting other people with type one like what do you think really drew you in at first?

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Lija Greenseid 15:49
the scrunchies the sheets, the viscose bamboo is so soft,

Scott Benner 15:54
and temperate,

Lija Greenseid 15:55
not too hot, not too cold. I get out of the shower every day, I grab a waffle towel, I take the waffle side to get off all the water and I flip it over to the fluffy side. And I let that fluffy side work.

Scott Benner 16:05
I let it eat. You know what I mean? I'm just shine it up like an apple. Boom, boom, boom, next thing you know I'm dry. I'm soft, everything's great. And my day is on its way. Cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box to save. Don't let this blow your mind 40% off of your entire order. You go to cozier.com Right now I'm there right now free shipping over $50 I'm seeing at the moment. Anyway, let me just like let's imagine for a second Scott wants more bathhouse. So I get a bath towels, I'm gonna get some bath sheets, I get a nice wide, long towel right? Here they are already got a little sale happening. Maybe that sale still be there. When you get there. I don't know. Boom, I pop it in my cart. And then I put in the offer code juicebox and Bada bing 40% comes off the price. Good beat that with a stick. You can't Kenya No, go by Taos.

Hannah 16:58
I think just having diabetes and wanting to hear what you had to say on the podcast. At that time, my son was about a little under a year. So it's still kind of in the, in the thick of like, Baby, newborn baby time. And I did I had really good management of my diabetes during pregnancy. But then after I was pregnant, or after I gave birth, I didn't take care of it as well as it did when I was pregnant. Obviously I was it was kind of like, Oh, now I can relax a little bit. So then I was going from being pregnant, having really good management because I was eating low carb and. And then last summer I found myself just like on the roller coaster and really discouraged and really frustrated that I couldn't like get my act together. And then when I started listening to you, there was so many things that you were saying with the way that you approach diabetes that resonated with me. And I don't know, just motivated me to, like make better decisions. And just understanding the importance of Pre-Bolus and finding the right basil. And wow, figuring out how to use insulin for any kind of food because I've tried every way of eating possible. I'm really glad I have done that. Because I've learned how to give insulin for all of those kinds of ways of eating. And now I'm kind of just like, whatever. But like low carb ketogenic, vegan plant based Bernstein, gluten free, like all of the all these different kinds of ways of eating just to try to figure out what would work best. And then there was something you said in one of your podcasts that you were like, don't eat low, low carbohydrate diet. If you don't know how to take insulin, like if that's your only reason to eat a low carbohydrate diet. Don't don't do that figure out how to use the insulin. And if you want to eat low carb, eat low carb, that's fine. But figure out like you should know how to use the insulin for whatever. And that was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. And so it just gave me that felt like this gave me this freedom to figure out how to use insulin with any kind of food that I want to eat.

Scott Benner 19:05
Am I Am I hearing that you went through those different eating styles hoping that you would land on one that just magically worked?

Hannah 19:12
Yeah, totally. Okay. Because the way that I was managing wasn't great. I wasn't very good at Pre-Bolus thing never have been dull now. I'm now and never really figured out the right, basil. I think it probably worked just fine. You know. And I've also gone back and forth between MDI and pumping so I can, I can kind of do it with both.

Scott Benner 19:34
So even so let me ask you prior to your pregnancy to get pregnant on purpose. Yes. You seem like a person who got pregnant on purpose. By the way, does that mean anything to you? That That makes sense. Like just seeing you in your room that you were in for five minutes. I was like, she got pregnant on purpose. And I don't know why exactly. You just seem like together. Does that make sense? Sure. Yeah, I appreciate I'll take that as a compliment. But we did not get pregnant on purpose the first time My wife was home sick and absence makes the heart grow fonder. And she's much here. Here's something I've never said about Kelly. No one tell her I said this. She's so much nicer when she doesn't feel good.

Unknown Speaker 20:15
Oh, really? Oh my god. She's so sweet

Scott Benner 20:19
and lovely when she's just a little. If I had Munchausen this would be a perfect relationship. Oh my gosh, she's like, you're just like, anyway, point is, is that yeah, so she was home sick, I guess you might have like, anyway, then the baby cam. And you don't occur to me, like as a person who would just be like, whatever. Let's do it now. So prior to the baby, the decision prior, where was your management then.

Hannah 20:47
So when I got married, it was just kind of all over the place. I I guess just starting more at the beginning when I was 12 and diagnosed, I was at the age when I was kind of wanting to exercise independence. And so I took it on. Basically all on my own. Like, first day in the hospital, I gave myself my first shot, no issues, and I was willing to learn, you know what I needed to do. And my parents noticed really quickly that I kind of figured it out and was doing it. And so they kind of took a little bit more of a backseat, which was totally fine. But because of that I never developed the best habits for Pre-Bolus Nene and checking my blood sugar as consistently. I definitely took insulin when I ate but I always just took it right when I sat down to eat. And then I would just check my blood sugar like before when I woke up and before bed. So those were the habits that were just ingrained for, like 10 years. So when I got my Dexcom, probably about four years ago, I realized, oh, this this isn't this isn't working very well. I didn't like seeing the huge peaks and valleys, you know, from giving insulin as you're eating? And that was discouraging, for sure. I didn't like seeing the highs and the lows? And

Scott Benner 22:12
was was some of that just maturity. Do you think?

Hannah 22:16
Yeah, I think so. And then when we got married I we knew we wanted to start a family soon ish, you know, after we got married, maybe like six months after we got married. And so prior to that, I knew that I wanted that in my endo office, they had like, guidelines for trying to conceive, you know, having an agency under 6.5. You know, having having good management, ideally being on a pump. And so that was kind of my goal is like, hey, I need to do that I needed to kind of get my act together. And then I had tried a low carb diet in college. And it worked decently well. So I went back to that, because I knew that that was going to give me stable, more stable blood sugar. So for a few months before we got pregnant, I ate a low carb diet and was able to get my agency under six. And so I felt good about that going into pregnancy, and I kept that going. But I don't like eating a low carb diet. It's not fun. And it's just kind of just sucks. I don't like it. But I did it during the pregnancy because I was terrified of having, you know, really high blood sugars all the time and potentially hurting the baby. So

Scott Benner 23:22
okay, so you see you just kind of I mean, not that I want to be clear, I don't think of eating a low carb diet as being restrictive. If it's a decision, it's a it's a choice, right? Like, I don't think and when I when I hear somebody's like, you know, I enjoy a low carb diet. I'm like, Oh, they're I don't think oh, they're stopping themselves from eating things. They I know they want to eat like, I don't think that you know. But right, if you're doing that, because of a management situation, you were stopping yourself from eating things you wanted to eat, because you didn't know how to Bolus for them.

Hannah 23:55
It absolutely that and that was where I was. And that was the struggle. And it just when you restrict, I don't know all the psychology of it. But when you make decisions to restrict it, it's like, it's kind of like the scarcity mindset where it, it can make you think about the thing, you're restricting more and make it really difficult to avoid. And so then after I had my son, I kind of went crazy and I just ate all the carbs and just you know went crazy and because I had withheld it from myself something I want I withheld it for so long. And now and then I when I find your pockets, I was like Oh, I feel this freedom to eat whatever I desire to eat, and just figure out how to take insulin for it. And that concept was just like transformational for me. And now I'm at this point where I feel a lot more freedom about how I eat, which is you know, which is huge, and it makes it a lot or sustainable? Because when you're restricting something, it's not a sustainable effort. It's like that white knuckling discipline that doesn't. It's not sustainable. So,

Scott Benner 25:12
no, I understand. And I appreciate you saying that. And I'm glad that it helped you. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. You wouldn't like to say the kids first initial was for me after all that, but I mean, you know, whatever. You are lovely. Let me just say that. Let's let you're still nervous now. Are you okay?

Hannah 25:30
I'm okay. I get nervous about these things. You know, what I'm nervous about is listening to this whenever you post and listening to myself talk, and then you're like, oh, gosh, that's what I said. That's what it sounds like.

Unknown Speaker 25:42
Are you thinking about that while you're speaking? Yes. Which is weird.

Hannah 25:45
I don't know why.

Scott Benner 25:46
Let me let me tell you my secret. Try hard not to give a fuck what anybody thinks. You'll be okay. All right. You're just you're just sharing what you think no one knows who you are. It's fine. Right? You know, I'm the one at risk here. I'm about to edit an episode, Hannah, will be out a long time before this one comes out. But I'm about to edit an episode where a mom comes on to talk about her trans kids. And me trying to like, you know, me here who I don't, to my knowledge, don't know, a trans person. And it's not a normal part of my day. And so I don't know, I don't know what I said, like, I have to go back and edit. And I'm like, I can't, like part of me is like, well, I can't wait to go listen to that. But but but I am more than a little concerned that I don't understand something right. And then it would come off wrong to somebody, even though there'd be no ill intention behind it at all. Because I really, you know, I kind of feel the way of the world. I feel about the world the way I talked about the way people eat like I don't, I honestly don't have a thought in the world about what people do. Like, I think it's cool, like, what works for you is great, or what you are is greater whatever, right. But anyway,

Hannah 26:59
yeah, which is a really good approach. And one reasons I like you, because all the different approaches, for example, just approaches to eating. The people that ascribe to those things, they're like, this is the only way and you have to be this way. And if you're, if you don't do this, you're wrong. In all this different kinds of ways. That's what I've noticed, like, I don't like that I don't like that approach to life in general. And I don't like that approach to managing diabetes. I think everyone can have their own way and figure out how it works best for them.

Scott Benner 27:35
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say something, right? Okay, I think that's selling. So I think that that's like, don't get me wrong. If you're just a person, like you're just a regular person, you're listening to this right now. And you in your heart believe that eating a pescatarian diet is the only way to exist. And you feel passionate enough about that, to get online and say to people, you have to be a pescatarian you have to be UK, if you don't, you're killing yourself, if you feel that way. Like God bless you, that's fine. I think when you hear people do it in social media, or, which is where you're basically talking about Instagram, Facebook, places like this, if you look hard enough, those people have a financial reason for saying what they're saying, or they are devotees of the person who has that thing. And to some degree, I noticed that with the people that listen to the podcast, like they'll they will go online and say to somebody, this podcast is what you should do, you should listen to this podcast, because because it's so it's so help them. They're so passionate about it, that when someone says, oh, gosh, my agency is nine, and I don't know what to do. Or look at this. There's this big spike. And I don't know how that happened. A person who's heard the podcast, and now understands how to use insulin, and feels the way that you've described, you know, for the last 20 minutes. They come in there with a ton of passion and say, Oh, the Juicebox Podcast, blah, blah, blah, people from the outside, look at that and go oh, look at this proselytizing about this podcast, right? It's the same thing with eating styles. Yes, you know, now the difference is, is that I don't run around telling people. You have to listen to this podcast, and you can't listen to anything else. Because if you do that's wrong. And this is right. I don't say that. I don't feel that.

Hannah 29:24
Right. And that's what I think is so attractive about the way that you do this. And why so many people listen and are on their Facebook group. And so that's a that's a beautiful approach. Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:36
Do you Do you know what I think people I believe my opinion, why people do that. I think that's fear. I think they feel like they have a thing. And if they don't feed it and grow it, that it will wither and die. And so every person who it doesn't matter, right? If we're talking about eating than if I'm out there pushing a high plant diet and you're out They're eating keto. Some people have the feeling like, well, I lost one, I'm losing. And I don't feel like that. I genuinely I genuinely believe that whatever works for you is the thing. And if that means a different website, a different Facebook group, if you want to find a different podcasts that helps you or whatever, and it's not me, that has to be okay. Of course, I can't feel like oh, well, you, you know, Hannah wants to go eat this way. So she's not gonna listen to the podcast anymore. I have to feel like, that's good. Like, if Hannah's okay, then that's good. Now where my competitive nature comes in, when you hear you hear me say like, I want to win, like I do want. I do want everybody to listen to the podcast, but but that's because I believe that anything they may need is in here. And when I find something, it's not I tried to add it. I don't know, I find that to be a different perspective. You know, I don't know if everybody would understand that. But I do my best to keep this place. very inclusive about all ideas and thoughts. I don't even on the Facebook page, I got a note the other day is like, you can't let a person say that he was like, I'm not gonna stop them. Like they're an adult. Like, why would I stop them from saying what they want to say? Why would you want to write and then when you pick through it, the reason they wanted to stop them is because they were afraid of what they were saying. It's always fear. So anyway, thank you. I'm glad. I'm glad you like it. And I appreciate that you're here.

Hannah 31:31
Thank you. One funny thing, when I first started listening, and you started talking about being bold with insulin, I was like, Okay, what does that mean? And I, for three days thought that it was an acronym. And I was trying to figure out what the acronym V O LD stood for. And he's not saying what this means. I was like, okay, the bees, probably basil or Bolus. The O is probably Omnipod. Because his daughter uses Omnipod. And that's a sponsor and the L, I couldn't figure out the L and then the D was probably Dexcom or something. Oh, my God. I thought so hard about this as a what does this mean? I

Scott Benner 32:06
love that you did that. So I

Hannah 32:09
went back to the original. I was like, Okay, where's the first podcast where he talks about bold with insulin? Because surely he says what the acronym is. And then I quickly realized, oh, this literally means just being bold with your insulin and making appropriate changes.

Scott Benner 32:24
It was hard for me not to laugh while you're telling the story. Because I mean, you you listen to a lot of the show. So you know that I don't really name the episodes with a live yet, like specificity. how impressed Are you that I said specificity? Correct. Because I found myself going away not to trip up on that word. But I just, I was talking, it's episode 11. And I was telling the story, it's back. It's back before I even had, like, I didn't have guests that frequently. I was still going through the blog posts that I had written in the years prior that I knew were really helpful for people. And I was kind of trying to contextualize them in these shorter podcast episodes. And I'm talking to myself, if you really listen to it, you hear me talking myself through what I did back then, like, I'm trying to remember it for you. And then I think I said, like, I guess I learned to be more bold with insulin. And then when I went back and edited that, that, that recording those words stuck out to me and I made it the title of the episode. It's, it's not an actual thing that you have. Well,

and then what happened was that a couple of years later,

I saw it hashtag in places. And, and I don't normally think, oh, that must have been me. But I thought I've never heard anyone say that, but me, like, I'm gonna go like, pick around. And as I picked around, I realized that somebody had listened to the podcast, and they they had taken like, picked it up as a mantle. I'm going to be bold with insulin. So it's a function of the listeners, not me. That That term is in the zeitgeist now.

Hannah 34:00
Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:01
So I love that it tortured you for a number of days. Did you ask your husband were you like, what do you think the O stands for?

Hannah 34:08
I don't think so. I think it was just my musings in my brain just thinking Oh, I wonder what this is. But I don't know why my immediate thought was this has to be an acronym.

Scott Benner 34:18
Yeah, I don't either, but that's fantastic. Well, I don't even know like if I tried like if I could come up with one I don't think I could Yeah, sorry.

Be on Battle No.

Hannah 34:36
Lost to L every time.

Scott Benner 34:39
Well, wouldn't it be funny if it was beat on low diet or low carb diet but anyhow, like, but that's You see, I think that's to completely telling because it took You as well like, like, you saw it and you're like bold. What could that mean? What like what is that? Like? I know All I meant by it was that I was being timid with insulin. Yes, that's all I was scared of it and I wasn't using as much of it as are needed. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that helps you. No kidding.

Cool.

This is great. All right, so baby comes out. And you do the thing where your life is shifting huge, by the way is the thing. It's the parenting thing. Yeah, the first thing you do is give away your own health or happiness. That's how it works. When you're divvying up the pie. You look at the pie and you go baby, by the way, the pie after you have your first baby is Baby 98.5%. Husband point 5%. Me 1%. Yeah. I think I said in a book I wrote that when my son was born, I became my, my, my son and wife's major domo. They were just, she was like, Hey, how can you possibly service the baby? And I properly? Yes, I'd be like, what about me? And she's like, there's no, you, you don't exist anymore. And I was like, okay, so But you gave away your own care. But I don't think if I'm guessing, it isn't just because you're like, fifth, I don't care about myself. It was because the way you got through the nine months wasn't purposeful.

Hannah 36:14
Right? It was forced, yeah. And I didn't know how to give insulin for the way that I typically would eat. So I was just all over the place. And that was pretty discouraging, but been able to figure out and whatnot. Another reason why I love your podcast, is because there's not, it's not like you listen to these five episodes, and then all of a sudden, you have the tools that you need to now make the changes in your life, like diabetes is a long game. It's a it's a throughout your whole life, you're going to be always learning. And even just the the way the podcast is with over 800 episodes, and that they're long episodes that that kind of, you know, we're not even talking about diabetes the whole time. But just the story in your conversations. And the fact that it's just long kind of just shows that that's how diabetes is that's how you learn through it. And it's a it's a daily thing. And I think before I found your podcast, I was just so focused on Oh, my gosh, today, I my blood sugar's high. And I was so yeah, just focused on the the here and now and discouraged, and I didn't know how to just take that and learn from it.

Scott Benner 37:30
Yeah, you have that that very like micro view?

Hannah 37:34
Yes, it was very, it was a very, like micromanaging, trying to figure out so then, if my blood sugar was good, then I was feeling good. And I was like, this is fine, you know. But then if I was having a rollercoaster day, or if my blood sugar was high, and I didn't understand it, I would just get discouraged and be like, this stinks. And definitely, I've experienced a lot of diabetes burnout, which you said, I think it was a guest maybe as a therapist you had on she said, diabetes, burnout is when you're trying really hard. And you're not getting the results. Because which that was totally what I was in for a long time, especially in college. I was trying really hard, but I wasn't trying to write things. So I was trying really hard. But it wasn't working. Because it wasn't I didn't have the tools or the correct information on how to how to maybe I didn't have the right basil and I didn't know how to test for it. Or I didn't. I wasn't taking enough insulin or whatever it was, you know, like you're trying really hard and you're not getting the results. And then it's just daily. frustrations. Yeah, frustration.

Scott Benner 38:36
Yep. Yeah. And then the frustration turns into well, why am I doing this? It's not working. Right. Yeah. And then you then people stop trying and then we turn that burnout, but the burnout happens before you stop trying. And yeah, I I made a note here to myself, because you said something I want to bring up later. But before I get back to that with the hell Goddamnit Hannah,

I'm getting old fight just flew right out of my head. It's not your fault.

You were just talking about all that about the burnout. And oh, learning. I got it. I don't think that people learn the way most people tried to teach. Right? Like, oh, 100% Yeah, we're stuck in that mindset of, we'll all sit down, I will tell you a list of facts. You will retain those facts. And then I will sit down again and tell you how to use the facts. And then you will practice using the facts and now you have learned and I think that's you know, based on probably how we grow up in in, in school, right, like, you know, here's a bunch of facts that will test you on them. I was a monumentally bad student.

Hannah 39:53
I've heard you mentioned this. I know this.

Scott Benner 39:56
I would if you looked at me in school, you'd be like, Oh, that boy must bumped his head on something, you know, like, I, I look confused, I'm failing. Like, if I could get a D in something I'd be like, right on this is amazing. I'm gonna pass. And that that was most of that was most of my time in school. I was better at social studies, Social Studies was storytelling. Yeah, right. And I was bad at science science was facts and and remember the facts and then put them in the right place. I'm bad at math, math is facts and the right place. If you could put a projector on my brain and watch me figure out math, you'd be like, why is it happening like that? But, but I come out with the answer. Right? I'm literally telling myself a story about the numbers and how the numbers work. And so to me, the biggest mistake being made in patient care is that we're trying to tell people, these are the facts. These are how the facts work, go do it. Right, instead of think of all the things that you know, and I'm not even just talking to you now, when I'm talking to everybody and all the things that you know, the information that's in your head, you hear people say all the time, like, I don't know why I know that, like, Why do I know Bruce Springsteen? 73 like, you know, I know that, because the person I interviewed yesterday brought up Bruce Springsteen, and I said, Oh, Bruce Springsteen, 73 I don't even like Bruce Springsteen. Why do I know Bruce Springsteen, 73, I heard an interview with him. And he mentioned he was 73. And it stuck in my head. I don't know why. And I think that most of us know, most of what we know, in that same fashion. And so the podcast is set up like this, so that if you listen to an episode, hopefully, you're entertained, but you're not going to shut it off and go, Oh, that episode was about this, and this and this. And I'll never forget that. It'll just be three weeks from now, like something will happen with your diabetes. And you'll be like, you know, I'm probably just going to do a Temp Basal increase here. And you're not even going to know why you're doing it. And that, that, to me, is why it works. Yes, yeah.

Hannah 42:08
Yeah. And another thing that that idea is shown is the idea of carb counting, like, whenever I learned how to do that, you know, when I was diagnosed, and I hated it, and I'm the I'm like you were I look at a plate of food. And I say, oh, that's six units of insulin. I have absolutely no clue at the carb count. Because I don't like I would last a day if I had to sit and calculate all my carbohydrates. But I know, based off, you know, the type of food it is my exercise level, my, my hormones, my sleep, all these other factors that I'm not consciously thinking about, but it's intuitive that I know, okay, I need six units of insulin or whatever the number is, or I need a higher Basal or I need a lower Basal or, or whatever. And that's that idea is how I've always done diabetes, but I always felt like I was doing it wrong, because they don't do that at the endocrinologist office. Yeah. And I was like, I was always fighting the way that I was, quote, unquote, supposed to do it based on their terms. But well, the way I'm doing it is working better. And so then hearing you on the podcast, like, oh, that okay, this is okay. Yeah, this is, this is okay. I can I can figure this out on my own, because I just wanted to do the right thing. And I wanted to follow the rules with what I learned at the office, but it just didn't work.

Lija Greenseid 43:35
You don't have I'm

Scott Benner 43:35
bad. I don't know where to put commas in sentences sometimes. Sure. Yeah. But I'm a published author. You have a book? Yeah. Well, no, it's I mean, a publisher paid me to write a book. Like everybody writes stuff, and self publishes it now. And if that's good for you, that's fine. But you're not a published author, you publish yourself. I'm a published author, a publisher came after me and said, Hey, you write down your thoughts. We'll put it in a book and sell it to people. And I don't know where commas go. But that didn't stop me when they made me the offer. I was like, right on, I could do that. And I thought I can tell a story, or figure out whether I'll figure out where the commas go later. And it just made me think of that with you in the in the office, because you're like, I know how to do this. Why are you telling me I'm wrong? Or that I shouldn't do that. I can't just because I don't know where the commas go. Like that's, I don't have to do it your way to do it. And I mean, I think that I think society is proving that out. In a big way. There's been a lot of interesting little shifts, like, here's one of them, apostrophe s. Have you noticed that people have stopped using it willfully? I haven't noticed. They know what belongs there and they don't care. And they're like, I'm not doing this anymore. And it's taking over. Yeah, and it's moving towards functionality over You know, what I guess, quote unquote, is supposed to be. And so I don't know if that's right or not, it might be infuriating to some people. I just think, sure, I just think it's interesting that the, that people can move in that direction. I know, we're all worried about this generation. But if we can get them out of their house and get them around other people, they're going to be really good. Like, like they they they're not held back by what everyone says is supposed to happen. And I don't I think about diabetes management that way. Like I honestly, I don't care what anyone says, because I think they're only saying it because the person before them said it. And you know, and I think I've told the meatloaf story. In my book, I've told it in this podcast, I don't know where it originated from. But to me, it says everything you need to know about the way you're supposed to do things. And you'd be surprised how much of what you think you're supposed to be doing is based on nothing? Yeah, so count your carbs. And if you don't do it, right, that's both. Like, like, I can count carbs perfectly. And if I'm not accounting for fat, and something, it's not going to matter. Right? You know, and then you have that person thinking, but I count the carbs perfectly. Now that this didn't work, well, this is an anomaly. So that's just diabetes. So there's nothing I can do about that. So this is now what I'm going to live with. And they don't even realize like, no, it's just, you know, there's a certain amount of fat and the French fries you just ate and about 60 or 90 minutes after you eat the fries, you're gonna get a spike because your digestion slows down. And there's actually a formula you can come up with take the fat and translated into insulin, and stop that from happening. Like, wouldn't that be better to know?

Right, you know, and then good,

Hannah 46:56
or you just had a big hike, and you need way less insulin for that meal. So if you do your typical carb ratio, you're gonna plumb it, or whatever it is, you have to think about all the variables and what's going on in your day. That's so that your carb ratio is going to be changing all the time. And so I don't I just don't use carb ratios. Really, I just know how much insulin I need. And that's just, it's through years and years of personal experience and being thoughtful about what my blood sugar's doing, based off of the circumstances. Yeah,

Scott Benner 47:35
but people also need a pat on the ass a shove, you know, I mean, I don't think we're allowed to tap people on the button anymore to say, good job. But anyway, like, shove, I didn't want to say shut, but you need somebody behind you, bracing you and saying you're doing the right thing, keep going. Or, you know, if this is working for you don't doubt it. Because a lot of people, I'm gonna say many people don't have whatever the thing is, I have where I hear something, and I go, I don't care what people think it's fine. Like, like, we're just gonna keep moving. I don't take into it. And by the way, even that's a misnomer. I care what people think. I just don't, I'm just not stopped by people's opinions. And so but a lot of people are, and it sounds like you, you might have been as well, which makes absolutely, yeah, 100% which makes sense because you plan the baby. And anyway, I don't have time to go into your whole psychology, but I understand you have. And by the way, just by how you had things hung on your wall. I love it.

Unknown Speaker 48:34
But but that that is a gift

Scott Benner 48:36
you need to give to people you need to be able to tell them to trust their gut.

Hannah 48:40
Yeah, and I didn't I didn't have that before the podcast really because and I don't I don't think anyone should do this. But I quit see my endo halfway through my pregnancy because they were so against me eating a low carb diet. Every time I went they told me I was going to damage my baby, which I couldn't bear hearing but my blood sugar was awesome. And so I just stopped going because I knew that what I was doing was better for my health and for my baby. So the podcast is something that gives me the confidence to say okay, yeah, you can make these decisions and you are the master of your own diabetes health. And so I think I'm at a place now with if we get pregnant again that I'll be able to go to the author like the endos and say, Okay, this is this is what I'm doing this is how I'm doing it. You know, can you support me in this instead of just feeling like I didn't know how to advocate for myself right for back then. I was just just discouraged I just stopped building were you in the hole?

Scott Benner 49:44
Okay, I cut you off. I didn't mean to I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Hannah 49:48
So the whole later part of my pregnancy I was just on my own

Scott Benner 49:52
when when the doctor said low carb is going to hurt the baby i But first of all, I have no like I'm not a nutritionist. I don't know if that True or False or something? Right. But did they know that you were doing it because you didn't know another way to keep your blood sugar stable?

Hannah 50:10
No, I don't think they understood that because I didn't really go to them frequently beforehand, maybe once or twice a year. And then well, and they had a diabetes specific doctor, I think is really great knowledgeable. She works with type one diabetic pregnancies. That's her whole thing. And so she knows how to do it. But they didn't really know me. And the first time I went in the office, there was no congratulations or, you know, we're excited for you. It was like, here's the risks here. And here's what you need to do, you have to keep your blood sugar's in this range, this is what is expected. And, or you really could hurt your baby. And so it was just really, like scary. And so the way they approached that wasn't very helpful. And I was telling him I was eating, I wasn't eating the amount of carbohydrates they wanted me to eat. And that that was going to delay my baby's brain development or whatever, which didn't need to happen end up happening. He was perfect. But so there was just no, it was like, we were fighting against each other. There was no, I just didn't feel supported. So I just stopped going, there's no harm at all. Yeah, and I didn't feel the freedom to share my story. And they didn't know really who I was, or, or whatnot. But I'm hopeful that going forward, I can, because I do want that support, and being able to have a professional to talk to and

Scott Benner 51:33
yeah, it would be, it would be amazing. You know, what's interesting is that, in your scenario, the doctor is the doctor starts off their life with their own thoughts. And then their thoughts are fed by the parents, and then by their teachers, and where they go to college. And, and then after that they're pretty set and how they think about things. Now they see other people's experiences, but because they're in the risk aversion game, they're, they're probably seeing things from the what can go wrong, perspective more, more often than not, and, and they're not blending you into that conversation about like, who you are, whereas, you know, and this is unfair to them. But the, like making a podcast and talking to so many people like this, the voice of this podcast, it started out as mine. But now it's an it started out the same way. These were my experiences and everything, but now it's, it's blended with everybody who's ever been on, because not only do I grow with their conversations, and my responses grow with with having had their these conversations, but their stories are, are bright here, too. So, you know, like, it's not that a doctor could accomplish that, maybe. But that's what you need, you need, you need a big picture beyond what you can imagine. And it has to be, it's a lot of feelings mixed up with words, and intentions. And you know, the intention of your words and the tone that they come with. I speak differently now than I did before. Like I used to have when I first started making the podcast, if you if a person, like you talk a little slow. For me, it's not a big deal. But you're a little more measured when you're speaking. And when there's a moment when I know how you're going to finish your sentence. And in the past, I would have been compelled to say it out loud. And now there's a voice in my head that says someone's going to someone is going to hear her, like really hear her right now. And I need to let her finish that thought it's not just about her and I having this conversation, it's about the people listening to it as well. So there's tone in your voice, and intent and sometimes sadness that comes from people. And other people learn from that when they hear it. They don't know what's happening. They don't learn from it, like two plus two is four and take the test. They they learn by hearing it over and over again. You're not gonna get that from a doctor's visit, not just around diabetes, obviously, but in anything,

Hannah 54:07
right? Because you need that experience. In the end people's support and people's stories.

Scott Benner 54:15
We, you don't, you don't want the pilot pontificating about their feelings while the planes crashing into a mountain. You need an immune like if you do want the pod to go, Oh, here's what I learned. Let me get this thing out of the way. And that's what the doctors miss out on. Like, if you could find that OB right now. And tell them I came to you pregnant, and you didn't go, congratulations. You just said here's all the things that could go wrong. I bet you if you told that person outside of their practice sitting having a cup of coffee with them, they'd be mortified that they did that. Yeah, you know, but that doesn't help you because that was that because now that's your experience. Right? You know,

Hannah 54:56
and I'm probably going to see that same doctor For my next pregnancy, because she is the only one at the office that I go to that is she she does all the pregnancies. So that's what she does. So I don't know how I'll approach that I may share my experience and see if we can do it different. We'll just kind of have to see how that goes at that time. But I think and I hope that it will be a better experience together and that there can be more of a relationship to be had through that.

Scott Benner 55:29
I'll tell you, I don't know if you care. But I'd walk in and say, hi, before we get started, I need to share with you that in my last pregnancy, our first meeting was all about fear. And I didn't feel any of the joy that I thought I would feel coming to the OB, and it's not your fault. I don't think he did it on purpose. But I don't want this, this new relationship. We're about to have to get off on that same foot. Please, like do your best to treat me like everyone else. Because I think you saw diabetes walk into the room and not Hannah the last time. Yeah, yeah. Then by the way, they won't like that you'll probably get fired.

Hannah 56:14
No, I think that I could do that. It would be uncomfortable for me, but it would be the the best approach.

Scott Benner 56:21
Yeah, I mean, it's the only way because otherwise, like all of her, her. I mean, is it a hey, her sorry, her. Yeah, okay. Yesterday I made I was, I don't know if people understand. Like, I don't think doctors are just men or women. I just, I just I pick a no, I pick a pronoun, and I go with it while I'm telling the story. And yesterday, I did it on an interview. And I stopped and I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, was it a man? And the person goes, Yeah, I was like, okay, then I just felt like I just did it again. But she's going to, she's just going to revert to what she does. Right? You know what I mean? Maybe you'll get a little more hay because your baby came out. Okay. Or because you left me you left in the middle a little bit, right. Maybe she'll be like, Oh, it's you? Yeah. Your baby. Okay.

Hannah 57:15
Yeah, I'll probably I'll probably bring him like, yeah, here he is.

Scott Benner 57:18
Yeah. Your his look like his eyes are on his head and everything doesn't have a tail. Turn them around. Like, look, hotel? Oh, I didn't think to ask you that. When you're like, I laughed. I was like, is the kid okay? Like you come out with like a foot coming out of the side of his head or something? Right. You know, so, um, but But

Lija Greenseid 57:39
I mean, listen, that it's tough. Like, I

Scott Benner 57:41
mean, there's part of me that thinks that maybe you do a, maybe you have a meeting with her prior even and say, Look, I'm thinking of getting pregnant again. I'd really like to come back here. You know, here's, here's what I was hoping we could do. I don't know. Like, it's all about them. And trust me, it's a lot about ego. Yeah, like, if their ego can handle it, you'll be okay. But if if she can't let that go. Might be might be unpleasant. All I can tell you is that the OB that handled my first child's birth was so devoid of personal anything. It's like, it's like talking to a robot that was gonna catch your baby. But he didn't know what he was doing. Kick came out. Okay. So yeah, who knows, but we weren't dealing with diabetes while we were doing it. Right. What is your story? Like, how long have you been personally with diabetes? Because your notes are very sparse, but they mentioned some struggles a little bit.

Hannah 58:45
Yeah, for the first 10 years. So from 12 to 22, I was kind of just coasting and doing the same thing. I had a Medtronic pump. And I gave insulin right for eight. And I checked my blood sugar maybe twice a day. But I was living with unknown shame about diabetes. When I was diagnosed for some reason, because of maybe my age, where it was developmentally my personality. I was immediately filled with shame. When I was diagnosed when they told me you have diabetes. That was the overwhelming feeling, but I wouldn't have said that then I didn't know what that was. It honestly wasn't until 10 years later that that really started to come out in ways that were really unpleasant. So in college, you know, 22, pretty severe anxiety and depression, almost all surrounding diabetes, but I didn't know it, and disordered eating and diabetes, distress and denial about it, and just confusion. I wish someone would have told me or my parents when I was diagnosed that it was going to impact mental and emotional health. And maybe they do that now, I hope they do. I hope they share that. But I needed counseling, and I needed therapy to really work past all of that. And so like, I would encourage, like anyone who has diabetes, if you haven't had counseling, or therapy for it, do it because it was so helpful for me. And my counselor, she didn't know understand diabetes at all. But she understood trauma, which she she told me that a diagnosis like that at 12 is a traumatic experience. Yeah, because you, you understand, oh, this is a, well, you're losing a part of yourself, part of your body is not working. And it's going to affect the rest of your life. And so we unpacked all that we worked through it, and I did EMDR therapy, which I know, it's been mentioned on the podcast before. And that was so helpful. Because before doing that, every single time my blood sugar was high, I was filled with shame and panic. And so I wouldn't, I just wouldn't check my blood sugar. Because I couldn't handle that emotional, it was so uncomfortable. But being able to work through, being able to work through that with a counselor and doing therapy was was really was really helpful. And just be giving me more freedom to actually take care of myself in an impactful way. Because shame is a, it's a really powerful emotion. But it's never correct. Like shame says that you are a bad person, like it's an identity. It's like, I'm bad. And that was what I felt every time my blood sugar wasn't, quote, unquote, in range. And that's a lot to handle, especially, you know, as a middle schooler into high school and, and just being able to go through a grief process. Like I think anyone with diabetes will have to go through a grief process, which is, whatever the fives however many stages there, I know, there's denial, there's anger, there's bargaining, there's, eventually you get to acceptance. And that took a long time for me, like I was probably in that denial stage for 10 years. And what that looked like, for some people that maybe looks like not managing at all, which is really dangerous. For me, it just looked like keeping it kind of hidden to myself and taking insulin. So I didn't end up in hospital, but I was never told when I was diagnosed, oh, you're gonna probably have to work through this, or there's gonna be some mental impact here, or there's emotional impact here. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:02:25
It's interesting, too, that, that most people don't exhibit enough signs so that people around them could think, oh, there's something wrong. Or this for sure. You don't even know if you're hiding it as much as it's just, you're trying to function. So yeah,

Hannah 1:02:44
and I was excelling. I was excelling. In school, I was a three sport athlete, I was, you know, doing great by everyone's standards. But beneath the surface, there was a lot of struggle.

Scott Benner 1:02:55
Yeah, no, I think that all the time, when people are telling their stories, and you know, that they're surrounded by people who would have done something had they known. I mean, sometimes there are people who are surrounded by people who know and don't help, and that's a different problem. But, but it's just, I mean, it's just terrible that that could be so true for you. And that yet, it you're so far away from the answer when the answer was really, but just seeing a therapist and, and working through it. You know,

Hannah 1:03:28
yeah. As we were working through, you know, my depression and anxiety and different just struggles I was having, it kept coming back to diabetes. And at first I was like, No, this is this doesn't have to do with diabetes. This is that's different. That's a separate thing. But it kept coming back to that. And eventually, I just realized, oh, yeah, most of this is, was surrounding my diagnosis and how that affected me at that time and that age. And I remember we, what's that?

Scott Benner 1:03:58
Is it just shocking to be diagnosed? Right?

Hannah 1:04:01
It Oh, yeah. A total shock. Yeah. And my I, I didn't know how to handle it. And there's no pause.

Scott Benner 1:04:07
It's not like, it's not like someone says to you, hey, you have diabetes. And over the next number of days, weeks and months, we are going to thoughtfully go through what all that means. It's like you're at the doctor or the hospital. And then suddenly, everything about your life changes. Yeah. That's like having a car accident.

Hannah 1:04:28
Yeah, it's it is a traumatic experience, and trauma. I think a lot of people experience trauma in their life in small ways. It may be a big thing, a different different kinds of trauma, but a diagnosis like that is there should be mental health support and emotional support for any diagnosis like that, and I I don't think it's widely understood. But also like my therapist, she didn't know she didn't have diabetes. She didn't understand what it was. I just kind of told her about it. So you don't have to Find someone who's a diabetic counselor. Yeah, if I find someone who's a counselor and is good and can help you

Scott Benner 1:05:08
understand how people's emotions are, are hurt and how they can be brought back.

Hannah 1:05:13
Yeah, and so it dramatically in two ways, it dramatically impacted my management in a positive way. Because one I wasn't having panic attacks. So then I wasn't experiencing that, you know, increase in adrenaline and cortisol, and that spikes my blood sugar. So it from a physiological standpoint, it was helping, but then also, it helped me to, it took away the burden of making the daily decisions to Pre-Bolus and make corrections and change my insulin. So it was kind of the two two ways that it really helped me be able to manage better day to day.

Scott Benner 1:05:51
That's terrific. I mean, it's just anything that works, obviously, but Right, therapy gets a bad rap from some people. And so I don't think they think to try it, I think they think it's an admission of something again, more shame. Really. Yeah,

Hannah 1:06:09
yeah. Yeah, for sure. And I, for me, it wasn't until I decided that I needed help, and was going to reach out that it was helpful, because I had tried, you know, previously, because I was encouraged to by other people, and but I wasn't ready. So it has to be when the person is ready, and they they seek it out. And they admit, okay, yeah, this is time. This is where I am. And I want to get help is when when you actually get help that changes.

Unknown Speaker 1:06:33
Yeah, I mean, shame

Scott Benner 1:06:33
looks like different things to different people, right? Like you could feel excluded. You could have, like, exposure that you don't want somebody looking at you. Care expectation, I

Hannah 1:06:45
was always embarrassed about it. Like, I never wanted to tell my friends that I had diabetes. I don't know why it was embarrassing. It just was because I also associated diabetes with like, an old fat grandma. Like, that wasn't me, why do I have diabetes? Because I didn't understand type one and type two and the difference?

Scott Benner 1:07:01
No, why do I get like an old person's disease? Yeah, why

Hannah 1:07:05
did I get oh, I'm 12. And why didn't Why do I have a grandma's disease? Because that's what everyone would say like my, I would tell my friends, I would just say hello to a few people and be like, Oh, my grandma has that. And I'm like, Yeah, cool.

Scott Benner 1:07:19
Great. Yeah. No, I mean, it's,

if you felt that way, then at least a sliver of the people you're going to bump into are going to have that same thought, now you're aware of that. And, you know, so everybody you approach, you, you kind of subconsciously believe like some of these people are judging me now. And then you get that that's that unwanted exposure, which can feel like shame. You can also your expectations are have been let down. That's a feeling that that that shame thrives inside of as well. Yeah, yeah. It's terrible. There's been episodes about shame. I should do more honestly, at but earlier, you mentioned the word scarcity. Oh, did that come from your therapy?

Hannah 1:08:03
Oh, I have no clue. I don't know. So don't remember what I said that. In regards to

Scott Benner 1:08:08
Yeah, so there's, um, you said scarcity mindset. Yeah. And it just struck me because, like, three days ago, somebody said that to me. Oh, in the oddest place, I was getting my teeth cleaned. I don't know if you're this, everyone's dentists come in and do a checkup while the person in the middle of the teeth cleaning.

Hannah 1:08:31
I for sure. That's what mine does. Right.

Scott Benner 1:08:33
And so do you have a chatty dentist? Like one that actually cares to talk to you? Yeah,

Hannah 1:08:38
mine is very chatty. It's very difficult. He's white. It's very, it's hard because my mouth is open. And there's fingers in my mouth. Oh, he's talking.

Scott Benner 1:08:46
Oh, I see. You're alive. Oh, you said he's very charity. He's difficult. And I was like, you were like, it's difficult because they're, they want to talk to you while your money with your Outlook. So my, my guy is a really thoughtful person. And, you know, does talk to you about your health before he checks you. And he asks you about your whole life. And he asked me about the podcast. I've been going there for a very long time. And you have to try to imagine that. I am who I am. Always, like, I like I, you know, like I walked into the dentist's office that day. And I had a question. And I just walked in, and there's like three people working there. And I know all these people and I'm like, Hey, I

Unknown Speaker 1:09:29
gotta ask you a question.

Scott Benner 1:09:31
Is there anybody else in here? Like any other patients, and I can see down the hallway to the doctor who I've known personally as well. And he, I say, can I ask my question? He looks at me across the distance and just start shaking his head back and forth. Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Meaning there's someone in here and I can't be sure what you're about. So please, oh my gosh, but all I really wanted to ask not that this matters, but it was the very early appointment. I walked in. I was like, how do you guys get Got this early every day is horrible. And so they're like, Yeah, we come to work every day at this time. And I was like, That's it, you should get a different job, this is not good. And they're like, well, we can all make a podcast, I was like, hey, hey, hey, I worked for an hour and a half today. I was like, I'm gonna go do more don't don't. But you know. So anyway, I was joking around a little bit, he comes in later to clean my to help with the teeth cleaning. And I said, I gotta thank you, I've never felt so seen in my entire life. I was like, you knew not to let me speak out loud if there was another person here. And we laughed a little bit. And he said, I've just at the end, he starts to mention, like, you know, I've known you for so long. And he's like, your life has been like, like quite a transformation, like, you know about the things you've accomplished and done, and you know, what he was talking about. And it led him to say, How's the podcast going? And I told him, that it was about to hit 10 million downloads. And that, you know, and he's like, Oh, he's congratulating me on everything I said, but I just, like, I get up every day. This thinking about how to make it, keep going, like, how to keep it going, and how to grow it. And I said, the Keep it going part and the growth part of the same, because once you see it helps somebody like, kinda like, once I hear your story, I think, well, I can't stop making this podcast because there's going to be another hand, right? And, and at the same time, there's not just another hand, there's 1000 Other hand as well. So if I could grow it, I could reach more of them, and maybe more people would have the happy outcome that you've had. And I said, so that's kind of how I think about it. And I'm always worried it's going to stop. And he's, and he's like, what I was like, it's like, Dude, it's, it's media, like, they're going to get sick of it eventually. If I don't, if I don't keep morphing it and letting it grow. But not too quickly, like the podcast can't just make some like, monumental shift, it has to slowly morph is the right word from like, like, as it grows and gets different, but not too different. So that the people who like it don't go, Oh, God, this thing changed. I'm dropping it now. Like, it's a hard thing to do, to keep to gather people in one place. And keep them interested in a way that they're like, I want to go find that podcast, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go learn about whatever this episode is about. And he said, Oh, that's a scarcity mindset.

Don't think that way.

And I was like,

is it? Like,

I don't think it is. I think I think he's, I'm being realistic. But, but he was so worried for me, he's like, please don't think that way. He's like, let that go. And things will just flourish. And I'm like, I don't know, man. 10 million, like, is flourishing, isn't it? You know, so anyway, we had this long conversation while I was sitting in a weird angle. And he was like, looking over at me with a bright light on my face. Is it not a thing that you think about? You just kind of said it in passing?

Hannah 1:13:10
I think I just said it in passing. I think I've definitely heard the concept of a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. But yeah, I'm trying to figure out if that's if what he was talking about is truly a scarcity mindset or not.

Scott Benner 1:13:26
Yeah, I think I'm being realistic. I mean, you think of all the TV shows that you bailed on in the middle? Oh, for sure. Right. And so think of all the work that that person that that TV show did to get you to try that first episode, right? And think of how at some point you were actually enjoying it. And then one day, it just wasn't important for you anymore. And the problem from my perspective, like from the TV shows perspective, if they lose enough viewers, then they don't get to make the show anymore. And it just ends. But those people go on to be producers and writers of other television shows. I'm never going to make a thing this popular ever again. Right? This is your thing. And I don't mean like I can't lose my thing. I mean, I can't just decide to go help people a second time. It very well may not work again. And I And to give you context for that. I've been talking about this a lot this week because of the 10 million but a media will tell you there's like over 4 million podcasts. That's not true. There's like 4 million parked RSS feeds meaning somebody was like, I'm going to make a podcast about pumpernickel bread. I'm going to lock down that feed I'm going to like I'm going to register the pot, the pumpernickel podcast, which I don't think you can make a whole podcast about but I do love the title. And and so there are a lot of locked down titles like the way people used to sit on and probably do still sit on like, they squat on URLs, like they'll buy a you know something.com thinking they're gonna use it later and they never or do. So that happens a lot with podcasts. So anyway, there's a certain amount of actually active podcasts, but only I think it's about a million or half a million excuse me, there's about a half a million podcasts that actually put up an episode at least once a month. And wow, of them. 95 or 96% of them, don't get enough downloads to interest an advertiser. Wow. So

Hannah 1:15:30
you know, there's a very small percentage of podcasts like yours that has

Scott Benner 1:15:35
enough downloads that an advertiser would say, Well, this is would be a valuable place to put my advertising dollars. And the reason that's important is because if you don't have advertising, then you can't treat it like a full time job. And there's an episode out today, with Stephen, it's called, I think it's called Steven Appleseed. And I've already listened. Oh, okay, great. So you Wow. Hey, Hannah, how are you? Thank you. Oh, my gosh, hey, so far, especially

Hannah 1:16:01
I listened to on my walk this morning was great.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:04
Oh, cool. So So

Scott Benner 1:16:05
Stephen is making a point at some point in there about all the quality content that he has heard from people with diabetes over the years. But how none of it ever gained, like mass exposure?

Hannah 1:16:17
Yeah, didn't gain traction, right.

Scott Benner 1:16:18
I am one of the only people who's ever done that.

Hannah 1:16:23
Well, that's interesting. You say that, because I now remember when I chose to start listening to your podcast, I clicked on it because it said diabetes. And I saw that there was a download from that day. So I was like, oh, it's current. Like, it's it's an active podcast, and they're gonna keep he's gonna keep making episodes. Yeah. So because you sometimes you click on a podcast, but the last episode was six months ago, or a year ago. And so I wouldn't be drawn to listen to that one. Right.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:50
Do you have any idea if you

Scott Benner 1:16:51
go look how many podcasts the last episode that went live says, we're just going to take a break for Christmas. But we'll be right back. And I'm like, No, you're not because it's hard to make a podcast. And it's, it's demanding and time and all that stuff. And, and so anyway, like, I wasn't boasting before, like, like, I'm one of the few people who has created a thing that's gained, what content creators might call escape velocity. Like, like I'm, I am, I get to decide how this goes. And, and it's not like, like, listen, there are other podcasts, and they have advertisers. But I guarantee you, the US advertisers have given them 20 $40 To put an ad on it. Like it's not enough. There's not enough to live off of they have an advertiser, and it looks good. But it's not a real. It's not a real business model. I guess, if that makes sense. So you have to make you have to find a balance between this sustaining itself financially, and it helping people. And I have, in my opinion, I have struck that balance. So great. Yeah. And now we're getting to the point where people who aren't medical related, are starting to ask about advertising on the show. Oh, wow. And I think that's where that's when my freedom will really like crank open? Do you have a freedom?

Hannah 1:18:11
Are you going to change the structure of the podcast? Are you always going to keep it same kind of structure?

Scott Benner 1:18:18
I can't see changing how it works at all. Like I like the three conversations, one medical episode a week. I liked that format. I liked that the medical episode is generally speaking shorter. I like that, like hearing you talk about long form content was really exciting for me, because I believe people want to hear long conversations, because they're real. But I but I, but there are people that the management base people who are mostly the Facebook base people are like, no, like, I don't I don't want to hear a two hour conversation with a girl who thought about hurting herself when she was 12. But I do. Like, I want to hear that conversation. So I'm doing the thing that you hear most creative people do. I'm making a thing that I would listen to.

Hannah 1:19:06
Yeah, well, and it is reasonable. I mean, I I choose to listen to it every day. So yeah, keeping because it's people's stories. And there's always something to relate to. And there's something that draws you into someone's story and someone's experience rather than facts. Like we were talking earlier. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:19:23
My son tried to say to me a couple of months ago, he's like, are you ever going to make that podcast bigger than, than diabetes? And I said, it is no, and he's like, What do you mean, he's like, every day you talk to somebody who has diabetes, or it's like the caregiver, somebody with diabetes, it's about diabetes. Like it's not like it isn't. It isn't like, I think there's something amazing about hearing every conversation in the world, but everyone you're talking to has, like, like there's insulin in the refrigerator, you know? Yeah, that

Hannah 1:19:53
that there's that one commonality. Yeah, no,

Lija Greenseid 1:19:56
I love that. I

Hannah 1:19:56
wonder I wonder how many people listen And that don't have diabetes or don't aren't a caregiver, I would, I would think it's pretty low.

Scott Benner 1:20:06
It's a shame because there are episodes of this podcast that have little or nothing to do with type one that are really good episodes. Like did you

hear Perry last week?

I don't I don't know if I after dark California sober. Oh, yes. Okay. That episode could have been in any podcast? Yes. Yeah, it does it he's gotten

Hannah 1:20:29
but but someone with that that that not associated diabetes isn't gonna listen to it.

Scott Benner 1:20:33
Yeah, it's a shame it's a it's a good podcast episode. And I have a lot like that I believe that I have a lot of episodes that are like that. And and it might never, it might never find people who don't have type one or diabetes in general. But that's okay to me. Because it for the people who did find it. I hear enough from them that this is their favorite podcast, not just their favorite diabetes podcast. And that, to me means the same thing, I'm probably never gonna get to like, you know, I'm probably never gonna get to like, 5 million a month. But I don't care. As long as it's reaching people with diabetes, it doesn't matter to me if it gets past that.

Hannah 1:21:13
Yeah, there's probably there's going to be a ceiling, but it's still going to reach people in there. And I think that, like I share it with anyone that I know that has diabetes, or I don't know if they'll listen to it, but I just tell them about it. And so there's word of mouth is powerful to share it.

Scott Benner 1:21:29
It's the only way honestly, yeah, word of mouth is the only thing that works. My goal is a million a month. That's that's what I'm trying to get to a million downloads a month. How close are you halfway there? Oh, wow. So that's what I'm shooting for. I want to I want to get to a, I want to get to 12 million a year. And then I'll reassess it and see what's what's happening because of the 10 million that just happened. And I want to be clear for people like it's not it's 10 million lifetime, like I started the podcast in 2015. It took four years to get to a million. And then it only took one more year to get the 2 million. And then there was couple years in there that did really well. But they weren't like extravagantly well, but the last 5 million came in like the last 12 months. Yeah. So now we're on to it now. Like we're getting there. So. And that escape velocity is important because it gives you freedom to do other things. Like you can tell somebody to go to hell if you want to. Right? Not that I haven't so far, by the way, I really should say that the advertisers I have I'm actually very proud of them. I think I have a lot of gold standards and diabetes cares, advertisers, I think prizes are great. Yeah, yeah, no. And they're very supportive of the show. And I have no reason to want to walk away from them. I'm not saying that. But just the idea that I could, you know, is, is freeing. I don't know why. But you know, and there's even a part of me that thinks like, like, at one time, it's going to like, I mean, you guys don't know this, the pressure I live under, but if you don't use those links, I'm going to lose those advertisers. I live in that reality every day. And, and so when I lose the advertisers, I lose the show like it's gone. And then the next Hana just doesn't get this because you think oh, no, the podcasts will be there forever. But it doesn't work that way. Like content gets content that isn't new, gets stale, and it disappears. Yeah, the difference between a compendium of information that will help people and a book that nobody looks into, is the newness of the show.

Hannah 1:23:42
Have you ever thought about reposting old episodes? Like

Scott Benner 1:23:48
you because people haven't heard them?

Hannah 1:23:51
Yeah, you know, number like random numbers into two hundreds or three hundreds like that. I wouldn't necessarily go and scroll to find. But if you were to post it, and it was up, you know, tomorrow, I might listen to it. I wouldn't even know that it was from two years ago. Would you ever do that? I

Scott Benner 1:24:08
just had a conversation online with people. And I asked that question. If on Friday, I ran a best of episode kind of thing. Oh, sure. Yeah. Would that bother you? And most people were okay with it. But they wanted it clearly branded.

Hannah 1:24:25
Oh, to clearly show that this is a repost

Scott Benner 1:24:28
Yeah. Like this is this is a this is a reposted episode. Now.

Unknown Speaker 1:24:32
Would I do that? I don't see why.

Scott Benner 1:24:36
I don't see why I shouldn't. Like I don't think it's a bad idea at all. I think it would bring out those episodes to people who haven't seen them yet. And I do think that's a good idea. And I thought so when I had the conversation. The truth is that after I thought to ask people about it and came to the conclusion that it was a good idea. I forgot that I was thinking about it. So I just pulled up my to do list. So I can add it.

Hannah 1:24:58
You can do repost Fridays. or something? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:25:00
right. And but that's, that's so interesting because I had an entire day where I thought about that, then I had conversations with people to make sure that like my thinking about this correctly. And then I thought, I think this is a good idea. And then until you just brought it up, I didn't remember that I had ever done that. And it's because, I mean, there are a few people who helped me with the Facebook group. They're very helpful. And there's this girl named Angela has been helping me lately with stuff like there's a it'll be gone by the time people hear this. But there's a survey right now about for listeners to the podcast, which has been like, Yeah, I think I took that one. Oh, my God. It's got like, 700 responses already. So thank you. It's amazing. Yeah, the person who made the survey for me is a mph grad from Hopkins. And she's in she said, she sent me a text the other day, hold on a second. I'm gonna find it because what she said was, we were talking about the survey. Hold on. I know, I'm like, this is boring. But give me a second. Even prestigious medical research groups struggled or produced surveys with this many active participants. Wow. And I was like, Ah, cool. And so like that kind of stuff, like people are helping me behind the scenes with things like that. They're all very lovely people, but the production of this podcast, and the worry about it, and all the meetings with the advertisers and all the other stuff that has to happen, sending out invoices, which by the way, I'm not good at is it's all me. It's all Yeah. And so I would like to share it. But I don't know how to do that. Honestly. I think they're part of the reason why it works is because it all begins and ends with what I think is the thing I want to do.

Hannah 1:26:43
Yeah, there is something to be said about delegation, though, I used to be a varsity softball coach. And I had to learn really quick that I had to delegate things in order to accomplish what I wanted to watch. You have to put a lot of trust in people, but you also have to influence them in the direction you want to go.

Scott Benner 1:27:02
Yeah. When I'm growing like that a little bit, I have a I have an art student right now making, like art for me that I'm not involved in. So I'm not sure if I'm gonna use that. I have to say it, but like I at least, was like, Oh, I can do that. Because I realized that like this podcast is big enough. This would look good on their portfolio. Oh, sure. I was like, why am I not taking an intern on RT, I should be doing that. So

Hannah 1:27:27
is there so many people that are part a part of the Facebook group who have been impacted that have certain gifts and abilities that may be able to contribute? You know, it's hard to find them or be willing to try it. But, but also going back to the Repost, right? If you repost Friday, there's not much to be lost in that I don't like you mean, those specific ones may not get as many views, but you'd still probably get more downloads per week.

Scott Benner 1:27:53
You see, I don't worry about them not getting views, I worry about them pissing somebody off.

Hannah 1:27:57
And then that person just stops listening. That's my bigger concern.

Scott Benner 1:28:02
So should I be concerned about that? I don't think so. I don't know. You don't think so? Because you've only been listening for six months, and I saved your life and all that stuff. So but, but like, you know, somebody who's been listening for four years might be like, just wake up in a bad mood one day and be like, you're I'll give you an example. There is a person who has been following this podcast forever. I know them from online. Always been a lovely person.

I thought always a little strange, but never in a weird way. Just, you know, lovely, different way. And about like three months ago, they just turned on me.

Oh, and I like, I mean, look, there are 34. As of this recording, there are 34,000 people in my Facebook group. I'm maybe aware of 200 of them by their avatar and because their name sticks in my head for weird reasons. As far as their posting style, I maybe only know five of them. And those are usually problem people. Because they get brought to my attention, right? This is not a this is a person I knew of if you showed me their avatar, I would have thought nice lady. And I have like a generally like, good feeling about them. Yeah, but all of a sudden out of nowhere, just like came at me like you like you don't care about people anymore. And like I'm like, What in the hell like I haven't changed the way I make this podcast. I'm completely open about the fact that there are advertisers, you know, like it's just, it's all about the ads now and I'm like, I I did something one day that just rubbed this person wrong. And they just like flipped like a light switch.

Hannah 1:29:40
But I also I don't know if that has to do with you as much as it has to do with them and maybe a circumstance in their life that then came out

Scott Benner 1:29:51
towards you. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I somebody told me the other day. I'm not listening to the podcast anymore because you have athletic greens as an advertiser and I'm not Like, okay, yeah, like, I don't know what to say, like you. This is a person who told me previously This podcast was a really great help to me. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't like, look, it's athletic greens. It's a green drink, drink it or don't drink it. You don't have to buy it like nobody's making you do it, you know, like, and it's like, do you I wanted to say, when you're watching tennis, when CBS in the afternoon, and an ad comes on for something that you don't, I don't know, well, I don't even know what the person's problem was with it. But But you you don't have a good feeling about do you shut the tennis match off? Do you go oh, I can no longer watch tennis on CBS. Because they like Downey, get on me like, I'm like, What in God's name? Like, what kind of a thought is that? And so I am aware. Now these people are very few and very far between these interactions. Yeah, but it's still in the back of my head. I don't know how many of those people my gonna piss off if I run an extra episode on Fridays, even though I do think it's valuable for people who haven't heard them before. Who won't think to go back. And I could easily you know, I could easily ask the people who listen and love the podcast make me a list of episodes that you think should be, like, best of material. Yeah. And and they would come up with the great with great ideas for people. Yeah, man. I don't know. I should just do it. I shouldn't give a crap. What happens? Just do it? Yeah. And I'll blame you if it goes wrong. How's that sound? I'll take that. Sure. Well, if you pay my kids tuition. Well, then I don't know how far you're gonna get.

Hannah 1:31:38
If it doesn't, if you feel like it's not working, you could just stop doing it.

Scott Benner 1:31:41
I'm teasing too. I don't actually think it'll be a problem. It's just one of the things that I'm tasked with worrying about because it's my Yeah, right. So this, these are my hells, okay. They're not so bad. So I'm not complaining about them. They're just, they're just the things I'm, you know, that I think about throughout the day when I'm making this thing. Anyway. All right. Well, this was terrific. Thank you very much. You do like long conversations, and you gave one so I appreciate it.

Hannah 1:32:09
Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you. No, it

Scott Benner 1:32:12
was really it was really lovely. You're terrific. Can you hold on one second for me? Yes, thank you

How about Hannah, given a great podcast interview, thank you so much. And also want to thank cozy Earth and remind you to use the offer code juice box at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order cozy earth.com Who else was today's podcast sponsored by Do you remember? I can tell you, us med us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888-721-1514 Do your business with us Matt just like we do. You know at the end of the cozy Earth add like way back there. I was just like, go buy towels. I thought this is how I should do all the podcasts be like go get it.

Go get up. stuff. Good stuff. Use the link.

So articulate. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode that Juicebox Podcast

#991 Nice Day for a Mow

Ian has had type 1 diabetes for twenty years.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, welcome to episode 991 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today I'll be speaking with Ian, he's 32 years old and has had type one diabetes since he was 10 years old. So it's a very emotional conversation we talk a lot about how he feels about a lot of different things, type one diabetes, and other issues. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. Considering drinking ag one, use my link, drink ag one.com forward slash juicebox. If you want to save 40% off of your entire purchase at cozy earth.com use the offer code juicebox at checkout. And don't forget to follow touched by type one on Instagram, Facebook, and go see what they're doing and touched by type one.org. I have a little time here. So let me remind you that episode 1000 is coming up quickly. And I am re releasing it completely Remastered. The audio is terrific. Imagine I went back in time, found myself in 2019 and said hey, you should probably buy Jenny a good microphone for this. Imagine that happened? Well, it kind of did because it's all remastered look for episode 1000 Soon. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod five. Learn more and get started today with Omni pod at my link Omni pod.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored today. By who who want to guess guessing your head contour. That's right, the contour next gen blood glucose meter contour next.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. When you click those links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free.

Ian 2:07
Hi, my name is Ian. I'm 32. And I've been type one diabetic for the past 22 years.

Scott Benner 2:14
Wow. Interesting. 22 years diagnosed at around 10 Yep, you're 32 Now, okay, any kids or family?

Ian 2:26
I have two stepkids that I'm currently in the process of adopting,

Scott Benner 2:32
Oh, very nice. Any autoimmune or type one in your family.

Ian 2:37
My great grandpa on my mom's side was diabetic. We're not sure if he was type one or type two. And then I have a cousin on my dad's side who's 10 years younger than me and was diagnosed at the same age with type one.

Scott Benner 2:53
There's type one your dad's side. How about other autoimmune stuff? Do you have anything?

Ian 2:57
Um, I have psoriasis. My mom deals with some hypothyroidism. But that's the gist of autoimmune stuff in our family.

Scott Benner 3:08
I love you said something just now it's so colloquial. It's probably to your to wherever you live your area. But your mom deals with a little hypothyroidism little little touch of it.

Ian 3:21
Just a touch of the hypo.

Scott Benner 3:25
I love that idea. My mom's just got to touch the hypothyroidism. What does that mean? Does it is it something she deals with? It's not impactful on her day to

Ian 3:36
day. Yeah, she does take medication for it. Right. But it's nothing that's ever really impacted her life on a day to day basis.

Scott Benner 3:47
Interesting. Okay. Well, you have more than a touch of the type one I imagine.

Ian 3:52
Yeah. fair bit of the type one.

Scott Benner 3:55
Oh, gosh. II and I don't think we usually named the episodes in the first 120 seconds but you're on a strong start here. More than a touch of the type. 110 years old. Do you recall it at all the moment you found out?

Ian 4:12
I do. We had actually gone to a roast beef chain fast food restaurant,

Scott Benner 4:19
Arby's or Rogers. Arby's. Arby's. Go ahead. Yep.

Ian 4:23
Ironically, the one that I started working at when I was turned 16. But we get gotten there, five for five. Got home as the family and I ate a roast beef. went into the bathroom and puke my guts out. Came back out still starving, hungry. Ate another one puked. Again, we were out a roast beef sandwiches and went to the fridge, opened it up, looked through it couldn't find anything I want and turned to my mom and went. There's no good food in this house. I'm pretty sure at that point. She was like there better be something wrong with this kid. or he's Yeah, he's grounded for the next year

Scott Benner 5:06
because I know how much money I spent on all this food in this house.

Ian 5:09
Yep. So she had been trying to get me tested for a few months before that, because I'd been drinking a lot of water, I grabbed one of the big 32 ounce cups, and fill it up three or four times in the night and get up and use the bathroom. And I thought that was normal. I thought everybody just got up in the middle of night to pee a bunch of times. But every time we had gone to our, our family doctor, it was a fasting test and my blood sugar would be okay. So finally after this, my mom takes me in and says to the doctor, like you're testing them right now. Check his blood sugar, and he checked it and I was 487 Oh, gosh, okay. Yeah. And at that point, our I was not very happy with that doctor, looking back, he gave us a shot to insulin, because there was at the end of the day, said go home. I'll see in the morning. He didn't work out for for pretty much we went in there. At the end of his office day, he gave me some insulin said, oh, yeah, you're diabetic. I'll see you in the morning for a little bit of training. And so, went home came back the next morning, and gave us like, the 1015 Minute rundown of this is your insulin, you're going to take this much at night. You're going to take this much in the morning. These are how many grams of carbs you can eat. Good luck. Wow. And send us on our way. Happy day. Yep, yeah. And I was not big on needles. At that point.

Scott Benner 6:53
You're old you weren't big on needles.

Ian 6:55
For some reason. I didn't like shots. But I remember being on top of my bunk bed and my mom trying to get me to take my insulin and my sister having to climb up onto the top bunk to help get me down to give me my first shot.

Scott Benner 7:12
Yeah, that's a good corner to hide in. Because it's it's in the corner and it's up high.

Ian 7:16
So yeah, you have the high ground. There's no notch back. So

Scott Benner 7:20
you didn't launch a counter offensive when they came for you?

Ian 7:23
I thought about it, but I was out of stuffed animals probably

Scott Benner 7:27
didn't listen. Let's do a little trivia. Do you know who the deep voice guy is for Arby's?

Ian 7:32
I know who you're talking to. I do not know his name. I don't know his

Scott Benner 7:35
name. It's vegan Rames thing rights? actor who would you know Vin rams and Mission Impossible. What else was the in? God? He's been in so many of those Mission Impossible movies lately. I can't think of any other stuff. Oh, Pulp Fiction. Is he Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep. All right. And so when you said five for five I can just that's all I get here is ving rains going Arby's five for five. Jesus. You is knocked me off course early on, with his with his Arby's knowledge.

Ian 8:07
Well, when you get hungry after this episode, you'll at least know why.

Scott Benner 8:11
Yeah, exactly what the record against it's gonna make me crazy. But, uh, ya know, I that I don't know, like Arby's is not a huge thing. I don't think anymore. And yet, I can hear those commercials in my head. And if I'm doing my job correctly, you're hearing this commercial in your head right now. The contour next gen blood glucose meter is small, accurate, has a bright light and an easy to read screen. But it's accurate, accurate, accurate, accurate. This is my opinion. Well, let me see if I said what's the most important thing about a blood glucose meter accuracy. I guess I got number one. After that bright light for nighttime use. That's that's the second means that the second one, I'd be able to read the screen. I want it to fit my hand. Well, I guess I like it to have second chance that okay, I want the next gen. That's what that's what you want. The contour. Next Gen blood glucose meter has Second Chance test strips, a bright light for nighttime viewing an easy to read screen, it fits well in your hand. And it's incredibly accurate. Not every blood glucose meter can say it's as accurate as the contour next gen contour next.com forward slash juicebox. Now here's the great thing about my link. It's all there. There's a button right there that says buy now it takes you to like six different options where you can buy like Amazon's a bunch of online sellers. Here's the point, the test strips and the meter. Very well maybe less expensive out of your pocket cash than you're paying now for test strips and a meter through your insurance company. That's a that's completely possible. You should check And if your insurance covers it, well, that's great. Just tell your doctor I want to Contour Next One blood glucose meter and contour strips. Because I want accuracy. I want stability. I want to know what my blood sugar is. And I want to not have to think, is this right? am I guessing contour next.com forward slash juice box. Go get it now. The I mean, years three, four years aren't has been using the contour meter. They are exceptional. And that's what you deserve exceptional contour next.com forward slash juice box whether you get it through your pharmacy, your insurance, you buy it through cash on my link, contour next.com forward slash juice box is where you go to learn all about it. Arden is getting ready to go back to school, the summer break is over sadly. And we're packing up our supplies. So we're getting a whole bunch of on the pods together in a box for her to take back to the college with her. And as I was going through the drawer you have everyone has a drawer right supply drawer getting out Chivo Capo pen test strips from contour on the pods. I started thinking about how long we've had these things and how many of these pumps you know has she worn over the years and it's so many I can say like without hesitation. It's a great experience. It is like I mean to Bliss. She can swim with it. Take a shower with it. Activities exercise all with the Omni pod. It's not obtrusive at all. No cords, tubes or anything like that to get caught on things. That just works. It works terrific. If we love it. Omni pod.com forward slash juice box you can get a test drive of the Omni pod at my link and you can learn more and even check out your insurance coverage. It gets started Omni pod.com forward slash juice box when you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast and helping to keep it free and plentiful.

And they're pretty new, right like they can't be battled a finger. Eames although he's in his 60s. I guess it could be anyway. I don't want to go down this video rooms rabbit hole.

Ian 12:43
Have an hour long podcast about Arby's.

Scott Benner 12:46
Yeah, I don't know if I could do that. Honestly. I was think no. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I'm I'm arguing in my head about huifeng Ramzes. Nevermind. What a strange, strange discussion to have out loud in front of somebody else without using any words like that. No, yes. No, no. What are you having rams? Okay. Anyway, Pulp Fiction. I mean, he's, he's, he's got a small very good part in Pulp Fiction. Okay, so Alright, so now you're, you're in your bedroom, you've you're unable to fend off your sister. I mean, was she older or younger. But she's

Ian 13:31
two years older than me. And she's, I've always been the one. And she's always been, like, bigger than me, like, substantially larger and stronger than me. So she dragged me down out of that bunk bed, pretty much kicking and screaming and took my shot. And then we ended up going and seeing a diabetes educator. And she was amazing. She helped me out a lot. And that's she was the one who Morse led the change to grams of carbs to unit insulin. And we saw a switch there and then ended up switching family doctors to somebody who is more familiar with type one

Scott Benner 14:17
and had more empathy, I would imagine Yeah, yeah. A lot more.

Ian 14:21
He was great. Loved him. My niece and nephew actually see him as their primary doctor now.

Scott Benner 14:31
Well, I mean, you know, it's interesting, I can understand if you're if your GP is not the right person for it, like that's fine. Right? You're I mean back then. Right your pediatrician and but, but to just because I have a image in my head of like you with your handout, and him just slapping a couple of needles in your hand and a vial and being like, listen, count that should that good luck. And even if it wasn't like that, that's your memory of it, you know? And so I do wonder sometimes if I mean, if you asked me to sit here and recount the moment when somebody explained insulin to me, I don't think I even remember. Honestly, like, I could paint your pictures like big broad, kind of like fuzzy pictures of the day with words or you know how it went. But I only really remember. Like, like, moments of it.

Ian 15:24
Yeah, I mainly remember him, giving me that like handing on the vial of all, I think it was humor, log and cloudy. And given us a rundown, you can eat this many grams that breakfast, this much for lunch this much for dinner. And then I remember going into my fifth grade classroom, and just walking in and standing up there and be like, I'm diabetic now. Which was ironic, because we had another type one of my class who was diagnosed most in third grade.

Scott Benner 16:01
You remember what the reaction was from the kid?

Ian 16:04
He was just sort of, okay. I'm not alone now. And then his dad was actually great. His dad reached out and was like, if there's anything you ever need, I'm here to talk to your parents ever need anything? Because we went to a really small Catholic school? So there was like, 80 kids from kindergarten to eighth grade. Yeah. So is everybody knew everybody?

Scott Benner 16:28
Well, that's what that's I mean, that's, did you find that helpful? Did you like take advantage of it ever?

Ian 16:36
It was helpful. Just knowing everybody there was there wasn't anybody in the school that I didn't know. But I was listening to your podcast, actually, yesterday, and I heard something you said about Catholic schools. Find them the girls there, I'd have to say, of having been in Catholic schools from kindergarten to 12th grade. Not my experience with the Catholic girls.

Scott Benner 17:02
Because it's because you were the ones they knew. Yeah.

Ian 17:05
See, I found better if you like my wife, if you find a former Baptist preacher's daughter. Those are the ones you got apply.

Scott Benner 17:14
Oh, that's your experience. You need your own podcast if you want to tell that story. Oh, my gosh, that's interesting. That's it wasn't our experience. They just knew you too. Well, to be interested in you. That's all.

Ian 17:30
Yeah. They knew me as the scrawny little guy. So they're like, yeah, it's just em. You gotta

Scott Benner 17:35
go find people who don't know you. So that you can be whatever it is. You say you are, I guess.

Ian 17:40
Yeah. And then you just got to hide the crazy for just long enough for him to get comfortable.

Scott Benner 17:45
Is that it was how you handled it.

Ian 17:47
That's how I handled my wife. I hit the crazy for just long enough

Scott Benner 17:52
that it would you let it out when it was too late. She's like, Oh, I like the guy now.

Ian 17:56
Yeah, well, I waited till I propose She already said yes. Then Then she got crazy.

Scott Benner 18:02
It's too late. Now here's,

Ian 18:05
here's the ring.

Scott Benner 18:09
Well, I don't think it's uncommon for people to put their best foot forward in the beginning. Although that usually does mean holding something back. Right. Well, how about that? How old? were you when you met your wife?

Ian 18:24
Um, it was six years ago. So I was 26.

Scott Benner 18:29
Okay. And so, I mean, how much of that's interesting. So how much of diabetes? Do you let her know in the beginning of dating? And then how much do you kind of let out as time goes on? Or do you just blurt it all out at once? How do you handle it?

Ian 18:47
I let her know I was diabetic, like right off the bat because I have a forearm tattoo. That's medical alert. So she knew. But she wasn't really involved in anything at the beginning, and we moved in together within eight months of dating. And so once she moved in, she started seeing a little bit more but it was me taking care of it and she was just sort of there along for the ride. Okay, and now she's gotten a lot more into it because I've gotten to a point now where I can afford the insulin pump and and the CGM. So she follows me on Doc's calm. And she's really good at if she gets the low notification check in and like you need some you want me to grab you some. So

Scott Benner 19:37
okay, I'm just I don't care one way or the other, how you have your thing set up but I'm just wondering, could she figure out a meal Bolus? Does she know how to help you if you're too low? Like how much of it does she have?

Ian 19:50
She doesn't really figure out meal Bolus type stuff, but she definitely could help me with when I'm low. I've been lucky and haven't had to have assistance yet. But she knows where the Basal glucagon is, and how to use it and everything so. Okay, and she also, I sent her your podcast on low blood sugar. Oh, back when I first started listening, and she's like, that's the most I've learned about what to do in a long time.

Scott Benner 20:21
Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's good. I mean, I like that I like the idea that there's shareable content that can help, like, catch somebody up. But it's also interesting that just living with a person doesn't give you that context. And I don't mean, like, interesting, like, Oh, why is she not doing that? Or why are you not telling her? I just think it's interesting. Like you're living your life, like you go to work. I imagine she has a job to, and then there's things to do at home. There's kids, and it's not like every moment of your diabetes is a is a TED talk, you know, right. So it just doesn't come up enough for her to actually absorb it on that level. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Are you comfortable with that?

Ian 21:03
Yeah, I'm okay with it. Um, I've been chronically single for most of my adult life. So it just seems like something that I deal with. And I'm okay. I'm used to dealing with it alone. So it's just sort of what's natural to me.

Scott Benner 21:22
How involved were your parents.

Ian 21:25
They were more involved at the very beginning. And then it was quickly handed off to me, because within a year of my diagnosis, my grandpa died of prostate cancer. And then my parents were separated within another year and divorced my freshman year of high school. Okay, so there was a, there was a lot going on for them. And it was just sort of handed over to me. And I had a lot of self hatred and anger over the diabetes. So that held me back for many, many, many years.

Scott Benner 22:04
Can you tell me about that? What do you mean by self hatred?

Ian 22:09
With everything that went on, with my grandpa passed, and shortly after, and then we were raised Catholic. So it was very family oriented. And my dad ended up having an affair. And

Scott Benner 22:24
can I stop you for a second? Yeah. It's hilarious that you're like, listen, we were raised Catholic. So obviously, we're very family oriented. My father had an affair, which is not a family oriented decision.

Ian 22:39
Because it was so out of character. And so out of left field. It threw me for a loop here. As to what am I supposed to do with my life? How am I supposed to act as a man? Yeah. So with that, and then the hurt that it caused my mom and everything, it just, I had a lot of hatred, just getting diagnosed. And then there's no face to diabetes. There's nothing to be mad at. Yeah. Physical to be mad at. Yeah. So when your parents asked you, what's your blood sugar? I'd get upset. And it was the first question was, What's your blood sugar? It felt like they were tying all of me who I am emotionally to a number. Right. And so that caused a lot of animosity towards my parents, like, they became the physical manifestation of diabetes to be, and they were, what I could take my aggression out.

Scott Benner 23:45
Okay. Well, that makes sense. What about? I mean, what about the part where you were mad at yourself?

Ian 23:52
I guess at some point, I please. I felt like the divorce and everything was partly because of my diabetes. And I never felt good enough. So to punish myself, I just decided not to take care of myself, subconsciously and just, I'm going to keep myself on my feet. Like I'm alive. I'm conscious. But I'd ride in the four hundreds, five hundreds and not not feel it not care.

Scott Benner 24:26
What was the idea behind that you're going to punish yourself for your parents divorce.

Ian 24:31
punish myself for that anything I felt lacking in myself? It had to be my fault. So I'm here. I'm not going to live a long time. Screw it. Let's just try and carry on like, nothing's wrong.

Scott Benner 24:49
So So you became your very own whipping post, basically. Yep.

Ian 24:54
Yeah. For anything many, many years.

Scott Benner 24:56
Okay. Do you? I mean, it's so Hard question. But do you think your diagnosis actually had some hand in pushing their marriage apart? Or is that just your child's head?

Ian 25:08
That's just my child said, looking back. I think it was the death of my grandpa that sent everything sort of. I'm sure it wasn't great before that, but I think that's what, really did it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 25:27
The straw that broke the camel's back kind of a situation. Yeah. Not not like your mom and dad were going along like, June and Ward Cleaver and your grandfather died. Your dad's like, I'm gonna go throw my penis in somebody else. Like nothing like that. It was just like, probably a slow distraction. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And then that hits you? Do you believe that? Did you live with your mom or your dad?

Ian 25:49
We had joint custody. I was supposed to do 5050 custody. But I ended up spending the vast majority of time with my mom. Okay. And there were years at a time where I just wouldn't talk to my dad or I'd see him at holidays. Because I didn't want to see him.

Scott Benner 26:09
Okay. Did your mom know how you felt?

Ian 26:14
Yeah, she did her best to take care of me emotionally and physically. Like, I'll give her credit. That woman is a saint. I don't know how she managed to make sure I always had insulin, always had food. Always had clothes on my back roof over my head. But she managed it somehow.

Scott Benner 26:38
There. But about the part about you, like how you felt and how you treated her? Do you think she was aware of that? And? Or do you think on her? From her perspective? You were just upset? Like, do you think she had a more general idea of what was happening? Like, oh, Ian's upset, because we're divorced. Or he's upset because he has diabetes? But do you think she understood? Like, the deeper because you're explaining clearly how you felt? You know, you're angry with everything and took it out on yourself? And do you think she understood that part of it?

Ian 27:13
Um, at the time, I don't think she did. We've actually talked about it more recently. And I've explained it to her like, this is what was going on. I'm sorry for being a dick as I grew up, but this is what was going on in my head. She thought it was more just uncontrolled blood sugars. were causing everything and being a teenage guy. The hormones that go along with that.

Scott Benner 27:39
Do you think that has some validity?

Ian 27:43
I definitely do. And looking back that uncontrolled blood sugars definitely made me way more aggressive and ready to have those verbal arguments. But it was also be fueled. My like, rage and hatred would be fueled. When it was we'd have those arguments and that was the immediate What's your blood sugar? And then that doesn't felt so invalidating.

Scott Benner 28:08
Yeah, yeah, right. You couldn't possibly be upset. This is your blood sugar? Yeah. I don't know if it's right for everybody. But I mean, for me, personally, I can remember back to being in that age. And when that when those real, like, when that those hormones hit you. It everything is either aggressive, or, or looking for a mate. Like kind of, like it just it feels like you just want you'd like I mean, for me, it was like I looking for girls, and my interactions around other things. I were always turned up to 100 for some reason.

Ian 28:49
Yeah, it was. There's either you're at full stop, or your full set. Yeah, there's no in between.

Scott Benner 28:55
It's hard to it's hard to, like when and when it's happening. You're there's contextually you don't understand. And even if he did understand, I don't think you'd be able to go to step back out of yourself at you know, 1819 years old and be like, Oh, I'm not really upset. This is just the influx of hormones that are making me a man, you know, like, it's, I don't think you'd be able to do that one way or the other. But just like aggressive interactions, and you know, and then I mean, the just, I don't know for you in but like the any free time was spent looking for girls.

Ian 29:34
Oh, yeah. Even when it wasn't necessarily free time. You'd multitask. Yeah,

Scott Benner 29:40
you could. You could ignore an important task if it meant if it meant some girl looked interested a little bit, you know? Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to put into words. I tried to explain this. My son was getting older. My wife would be like, What's wrong with him? And I'm like, You have no idea. You leave him alone. He's, he's on a path. So

Ian 29:59
alone. Don't, don't not make sure you knock before you go in,

Scott Benner 30:03
don't spend the adult stand in front of him, that's for sure. When he's when he's on a limb, he's on a tirade or, or, you know, just, I don't know, it's interesting. And my, my son's a little more mellow. But still, it's, it's, um, it's there, you can just see it like, you know, I personally don't think that I don't think it completely stopped for me until maybe like 10 years ago, and just slowed down really more than stopped like that whole, just that. I don't know that aggressive nature when testosterone is and as I get older, and it goes away a little bit, I miss it a little bit, too. Yeah, you know, you're not that old yet. But

Ian 30:49
I feel like it My back's destroyed. But that's what I get for being a landscaper. That's tough work. Yeah. So it beats what I was doing before I used to work in plastics. So I made, I worked in a factory for 12 hours a day and running the machines that make different food cups and stuff. So yeah, landscaping, at least I get to see the sky

Scott Benner 31:15
to go outside. And I worked in a factory setting when I was a kid for four or five years. And there was gaps of time in there where I did landscaping. And some of those landscaping days were something like was just you're up at the crack of dawn. And before you were awake, you're bouncing around in a truck somewhere, you'd already loaded equipment onto a trailer, like the freezing cold even in the summertime, it's feels like it's cold at six o'clock in the morning. And you just spend your day like doing a job that if you did it your house when it was over, you'd collapse. But in this situation, you did it. And then you climbed into a truck and tried to pull yourself back together while you drove to the next place to do it again. And then you know, they wanted you to work until the last ounce of light, then you'd go I'd go home and take a shower and eat something and go to sleep and wake up and do it the next day.

Ian 32:11
Yeah, I made the mistake of doing that and then telling my wife, I would put in a patio at our house. So I'd get home and go start working on the patio. It's like I don't have energy for this. But I promised the wife make her happy.

Scott Benner 32:28
And I'm never gonna get to sit on this patio. Now, it is it's incredibly difficult work I'll never forget when I first got my first job. This guy had a tree farm where he was raising these tiny little trees, you know, and it was just acres. And I remember one day today, I have something for you to do today. And I was pretty young. And I was like, okay, and he dropped me at this field with us a string trimmer and a can of gas and my lunch. And it was like 630 in the morning. And he said, you know, I'll be back to get you at the end of the day. And then I just walked between these little trees just cutting the weeds around each one of them all freaking day. It was I mean, you have no it was it was one of the more soul crushing moments of my of my young working life. I remember standing there thinking like I have to figure out how this isn't going to be my reality. Yeah, so anyway, not fun and I feel for your back. Does anything help it?

Ian 33:40
Actually a hot shower helps. That's that's what I do. I'll just go home take a hot shower. That seems to make it better.

Scott Benner 33:48
Is it muscular? tightness? Yeah,

Ian 33:51
it's just from bouncing around on on the Zero Turn all day. Because we got pretty sandy soil out here. Yet gophers and mole holes and then you're just bouncing CRASH CRASH CRASH.

Scott Benner 34:04
Yeah. My I'll tell you I haven't said this yet. My wife got me a gravity table for Christmas. It's not as expensive as it sounds. I think it was just a couple of $100. But you basically it's a platform you strap yourself. You strap your feet into it and then just lean back and you can hang completely upside down. Oh, I remember those. It's very relieving. It's yeah, it's pretty nice. Actually. I made fun of it when she gets in her head in my head. When I opened the box on Christmas. I was like, What am I gonna do with this? But then she's like, try it put it together and try it. I was like alright, so you kind of like you go upside down and the only and I hang for just a couple of minutes. And it's it's interesting. You have to almost consciously let go of the tension in your back like it like when you hang upside down your body tightens up like it wants to hold you from from expanding and if you Just let yourself like go and let it relax. All of a sudden you feel like you're hanging from a, it almost feels like you're hanging from a hitch between your hips at the bottom of your spine. And then everything just kind of like, expands. It's very nice, very nice, actually. So anyway, it's, it's also sitting in my living room, because no one knows where to put it.

Ian 35:24
At least it's not having all the laundry Hey,

Scott Benner 35:27
oh, yeah, that's actually a good point. There is nothing I knew on it. That would make it worse. Anyway, so when you talked about in your notes about mental health issues around diabetes, this is what you were talking about what you spoke of earlier? Is that correct? Or is there more,

Ian 35:44
there's that and then I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression. That's actually been getting better. As I've gotten my blood sugar's under control. But a lot of it was tied to the self hatred and the poor self image. I felt like nobody would ever want me because of the diabetes. And I felt like I was doomed to die young, which I know isn't the case. Now, like, logically now, but emotionally, that's what it felt like?

Scott Benner 36:18
Well, I interviewed a lady yesterday, in her mid 50s, who was diagnosed as she was young and engaged. And she described a shift in her life about, I don't want to give it all away, because it'll come out near yours. But she described a shift in her life where she became very, like, focused on getting the things she wanted, like children, and marriage and stuff like that. And she ignored, not particularly liking some of the people in her life. I don't want to give it all away, but it was fascinating. And that turned into depression, and drinking. And so it's funny. Not funny. Haha. But but interesting that back to back days, would be with a 50 year old lady who's describing feeling exactly the way you felt. And then you coming along being like a guy in his 30s, who talked about it, about him feeling that way to it, it feels very universal, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah, you know, it's interesting, you know, that, that a 10 year old boy and a 25 year old girl could pretty much have very similar thoughts after their diagnosis.

Ian 37:35
Yeah, I think it's just one of those. It's such a big change in life, especially when you're old enough to sort of understand what's going on. Because I do remember, pre diabetes. Like what life was like and how much it changed. So quickly, I think that I didn't have the tools on hand to cope with that in a healthy way. So I started coping with it by ignoring it, and just trying to push it down and not think about it.

Scott Benner 38:12
Okay. And that didn't obviously work for you, because it bubbled out in other ways.

Ian 38:17
Yeah, I didn't deal with the root problem. And then it caused so many other issues in my life, emotionally and mentally.

Scott Benner 38:28
Do you think you've dealt with them? Or do you think you just are in the midst of dealing with them? And how did you do that? Was it therapy or something? You do it on your own?

Ian 38:37
Yeah, I'm currently in therapy. And I've been work, I think I'm in the middle of working through a lot of my issues. So it's a process and I know it's going to take time. And I've learned to give myself a little bit of a break with how quickly I'm going to move through that process. But I've seen drastic improvement in my agencies and my control. So I'm taking that as a win. It's not quite where I want it. But we're moving in the right direction quickly. Okay.

Scott Benner 39:13
Do you know anyone else who deals with similar things? Like I'm trying to decide if like the depression anxiety piece takes on a similar life in your inside of your life as diabetes does because it's an alone thing? Or do you are you able to share it with somebody?

Ian 39:34
I don't have anyone really close to me that has type one that I talk with about it. I'll go on the group every once in a while Facebook and reach out there, but it's that disconnected sort of like asking strangers or talking to them, so you got to censor yourself a little bit. Yeah, not that not that they're not great people. It's just it's Different telling a friend something than telling a stranger? Sure.

Scott Benner 40:05
But in your day to day life, there's no one to share with like, I feel anxious or something like that.

Ian 40:10
Not really, like I'll talk to my wife about it. She knows everything that's going on with me. So I'll talk to her quite a bit. She works from home. So when it's like now and I'm not doing much, but waiting for snow. We get to spend more time and she gets to be a sounding board for me.

Scott Benner 40:34
Yeah. All right. Let's shift gears for a second because you're you're saying you're waiting for snow because you you want to go snow plowing to make money. Yeah, yeah. All right. How did Jeremy Renner hurt himself so badly?

Ian 40:47
I thought he got ran over by his is he's got one of those snow cat things. Yeah. Yeah, I think he was helping pull somebody out and it ran over his leg

Scott Benner 40:59
is credible, isn't it? Like it's terrible. Like my wife tells me he tried to jump in at the stop it from rolling. I don't know if that's the like the story or not, and all I could think and he's hurt so badly. I felt even bad for feeling like this. But I was like, Does he not know he's not actually a superhero? And, and by the way, he was one of the lesser superheroes. He wasn't like Thor, and like, this is but I saw an image of him recently. And he looks like he's lucky to be alive. Oh, yeah. He

Ian 41:30
looks I saw is I think it was a Tiktok or something he put up from the hospital and he looks Roth.

Scott Benner 41:37
Yeah, no, no, I it's not just his legs. That's for sure. Not that that wouldn't be enough. But you know, he, I think it got it had to have gotten his chest cavity somewhere. Because he looks like he's, like literally lucky to be alive. Yeah, I'm just really, I mean, it's terrible, obviously. But it's a dangerous thing to do. Like, you know, like, I used to do the God as badly as I didn't like, you know, the landscaping. The plowing, oh, my God, you go out at night after everybody's like, right, like on the first snow, they want you out. It's you plowed completely overnight. You're doing it forever. I remember this one night, we hit a race or cap. And like, I thought the truck was gonna flip over. And then the plow was broken. And then we were in the middle of the night welding it back together. And oh, my god, I can't believe you're excited for that incident around when I hope this happens.

Ian 42:35
Well, I had the first year I was I started the business. I was out found I had the plow fall off the truck at midnight in the middle of the worst storm of the year. And at that point, I was one man show and there's nobody to call for help. Because it's 1231. One in the morning. You got to figure it out.

Scott Benner 43:00
That sounds about right in. Do you stand in for just a moment in front of the truck after you realize what happened? You just cursed for a couple of minutes and then figure out what to do.

Ian 43:14
There was the the very heavy sigh and then but it wasn't as bad as when I was in the factory and would lose my mind when things went bad. It's like, I'd gotten to a point where it's like, alright, this sucks, but it's not going to get fixed. Unless you fix it. So to get going and getting mad. You got it back on. Oh, got it back on finished out the night. I think I plowed for 16 hours straight that day. Wow. I forgot Oh man just collapsed.

Scott Benner 43:47
Listen, I was just the labor in those scenarios. And I remember making great money on those plowing nights.

Ian 43:54
Oh, yeah. When it's good, it's great. And when it's slow, it's really slow.

Scott Benner 43:59
Yeah. Well, you have to keep going north makes you go to Canada.

Ian 44:05
Well, I mean, I have a stepsister who lives in Canada. Okay. So maybe someday we'll, we'll try and move to the great white north.

Scott Benner 44:16
Get closer to the stone. Okay, so what else do we have here? So I'm looking back at your notes. You. You come on the podcast while Oh, no. Let me go back to one of the things first, you're one of the few people who mentioned in their notes. I always wonder why more people don't bring it up, but just the financial side of diabetes. And yeah, I mean, can you talk about that a little bit like where its problems have been

Ian 44:47
for years. It's it was I just couldn't afford it. There was the insulin was expensive even with insurance. Insulin was expensive up Go to the endo wood before you hit your deductible. That's a $300 visit when you're making, like $24,000 a year, that, that hits hard. Yeah. And then you go there and they're giving you a hard time because a you're not taking care of yourself. It's hard to afford the insulin to take care of yourself. And then they would push the pump on me. And it's like, I'd love to do it, but I can't afford it. Like, I don't have any wiggle room in my budget. To pay for that it would be well, am I buying food? Am I paying rent? Or am I paying for the insulin pump. And luckily, back in November, we finally got to a point, we hit our out of pocket Max and I went ahead and got a pump. So after probably 20 years of trying, I finally got one.

Scott Benner 45:56
Oh, good for you. That's great. So have you ever not have you ever rationed insulin? Have you ever skipped things because of money? Or if you've been able to make it so far,

Ian 46:09
there's times I've gone and I couldn't afford the insulin that was prescribed to me. So I went to Walmart and I got the Doval in the dirt, cheap stuff. And I knew it wasn't the best. But it was what I could afford. And it would at least keep me alive. Yeah. So what you had

Scott Benner 46:32
some you had some experience with that, because you use cloudy as a kid, right? Yeah.

Ian 46:37
Yeah, we did for probably about the first eight, nine months, and then I got on Lantis it's not very long.

Scott Benner 46:45
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I guess people like to understand like nowadays, Walmart actually sells a nova log, as well. It's it's rebranded Nova log, but it's Nova log. Yeah. And they am but they also sell what, what I'm in was just talking about two, which is not the same as your fast acting insulin. And that's where confusion comes in. And it's just upsetting to hear somebody say, Oh, if you can't afford your Novolog eggs, for example, then just go buy this. It's it's not an apples to apples comparison. It's a you know, to me, it's, it's, it's a downgrade in your care, and also dangerous because the insulin doesn't work the same way as the insulin you're accustomed to. But I don't know it just it sucks that that that that's happened to you in the past, but you were able to get a pump?

Ian 47:37
Yep. Yeah. I have insurance through my wife's work. And luckily, she's moved up in the company. And she's doing great. So we hit our out of pocket max this year, or this past year. And I'm like, you know, what, the, the endo had been asking about it and pushing it. And like, if you can give me a price, which was another thing it was trying to get an actual number on what it was going to cost. was always holding back. Like, I'd love to do this. But if I don't know how much it's going to cost every month, then guys can't say yes. I can't say yes, because I got two kids to feed. They're growing like weeds and constantly growing out of clothes. So it's like, I need to make sure they're taken care of first. And their basic needs are met before I think about upgrading to a pump over over the insulin pens.

Scott Benner 48:35
Has the pump been an improvement for your health or

Ian 48:40
just definitely has Yeah, it's been nice to know that I have the tandem and the control IQ just knowing I have something in the background that's also working on it on my blood sugar's it lets me breathe for just a minute. Yeah. So it doesn't seem as overwhelming just knowing that it's doing its thing. given me a little bit of breathing room to know if it's not alarming. You're okay. Don't you don't have to sit and hyper focus on it.

Scott Benner 49:13
That's not it's a nice. It has that has that help with your anxiety by any chance?

Ian 49:19
It has quite a bit of course. That's it's helped with the anxiety around the diabetes, everything else is just life's been one thing after another lately so it gets overwhelming. Yeah.

Scott Benner 49:32
And that is life. It's not going to change if you're waiting for like a moment where it feels like a Hawaiian vacation. That's not coming.

Ian 49:43
I just like five minutes to catch my breath. Because we got we got married at the end of 2019 went on our honeymoon and then COVID hit and then my sister in law moved in. And she was staying with us. And then last year, it'll be a year in February, she passed away. Unexpectedly, she had a brain aneurysm rupture. So it was very quick, very unexpected. And then we her son had moved in with us too. And he was a sophomore in high school. So he wanted to finish out high school up here. His dad lives in Illinois. So we had offered you know, if you want to finish out high school up here, that's fine. We'll take care of you. So went from COVID to changing jobs to my sister in law passing away, to all sudden being a parent of a teenager. Yeah. So we're finally seem like we're at a point where we can just,

Scott Benner 50:55
yeah, take a breather. Well, that's, maybe you will actually experience a letdown. I mean, if you have all that going on. That's, that's really, that's kind of you to take him in as well.

Ian 51:07
He was a good kid. And yeah, yeah, he's since moved back with his dad, which is his choice. That's fine. We just want to do what we could to support them because being 16 and losing your mom is horrible. It's horrible. Yeah.

Scott Benner 51:21
Yeah, no kidding. I was gonna my examples pale in comparison, I was gonna say that Arden called the other day from school, and she's like, I hit something in the road in my wheel broke. And I was like, okay. That's like, out of nowhere, like, your day is just going along, and all of a sudden, the phone rings. And it's a thing you don't I mean, you're like, okay, and you stop everything. It's interesting, isn't it? Like, in the course of a normal day, you don't think you have any time to stop? But then something like that happens? And you stop. Yeah, it's it's interesting, how you kind of draw your lines with your time.

Ian 51:55
And especially with the kids, like, when it's your kid, it's a whole different ballgame to Yeah, it

Scott Benner 52:03
was a checklist in my head, like when it happened. I'm like, are you okay? Is anyone hurt? Is the car right? You know, was anyone in the car with you? Did you hit another car? Did you like, you know, you're like going like, she's like, I just hit something in the road. And my, and my tire like, good. I was like, oh, okay, okay. All right. I was like, well, we're gonna have to get the car towed or, you know, get the tire fixed or whatever. And she's like, I've got homework, and I'm like, Well, you're not doing it now. Now, you're gonna stand there on the road and wait for somebody to come. So you try to like, coordinate the whole thing. My point is, is that I was on my way to get a sandwich. When that happened. I just recorded two episodes of the podcast that night. And I was like, I'm gonna go downstairs and make a sandwich. That's very excited.

Ian 52:49
Did you at least still get the snow

Scott Benner 52:51
I don't even think I ate. Oh, well,

Ian 52:53
then when she comes back on break, she owes you a sandwich.

Scott Benner 52:57
It doesn't work that way.

Ian 52:59
You can dream you can dream

Scott Benner 53:01
comes Bo. She goes back on break, she's gonna sleep and then have things she needs. So. But yeah, I mean, my point really, is that it's sort of a false expectation that our lives are going to be serene at some point, especially if you start involving other people. Because then their stuff becomes part of the whirlwind. And then to your point, the kids stuff is your stuff. Yeah. So anyway, try accepting it.

Ian 53:34
That's, that's what I've been working on in therapy is acceptance. Good. And, Lord, give me patience and give it to me now.

Scott Benner 53:43
That's all it is. But you just have to. It's almost like you have to want it. Yeah. You know what I mean, like in that action movie, when the bullets start flying, and one crazy character smiles and runs forward. That's where you got to be in your head, like, your tires broke. Excellent. I know how to fix this. And then go, You know what I mean? So you know, you were talking about insurance earlier and money. And it is, it can be shocking. I got a script filled for someone the other day, beginning of January. And I am so accustomed to getting pumps or Dexcom supplies early in January. Like for years, it's just always kind of hid that way. And then I think something happened because we switched suppliers. So we got a big enough order at the end of 2022 that I didn't need them right away in 2023 for Arden. So anyway, I go to get this prescription filled. And the person hands it to me at the window, and she's like, it's 78 something and I'm like, No, I have insurance. She goes that's with the insurance. And I'm like, No, I'm like, I never pay for this. And so I'm confused for a second. And then I realized, Oh, this is my deductible. I'm so accustomed in the first tours. Three weeks of January of using up my entire coat like, like my part if it's gone already. And my out of pocket is usually is taken care of right away. And because we didn't get pumps or something right away, it didn't happen. And I thought, Oh God, this is what people are talking about. Who don't pump who say that all year long. They're paying their out of pocket costs. I'm just used to making one big out of pocket payment and it being over. That makes sense.

Ian 55:28
Yeah, I was. This year, I was everything that I could get before January 1, refilled, I was like, do it now. I don't care if I need it quite yet, but we're doing it now. All insurance is gonna cover it.

Scott Benner 55:40
Oh, you have to I mean, if anyone's listening who has any kind of issues, like you should be on your calendar. It should be on your calendar. December 1, get everything refilled.

Ian 55:53
My wife was shocked last year when we hit our out of pocket Max. I'm like, Hey, baby, I told you you get with me. We're gonna hit those fat. With me.

Scott Benner 56:01
It's all gonna be clear sailing after that. Anything you want. You need a Tylenol with codeine, you're gonna be free, because you're rolling with it. And now let's ignore the part where we spent all the money already.

Ian 56:18
That's what we always do. Just ignore what money I spend and focus on the kids. They're gonna want quarters for popcorn on Friday.

Scott Benner 56:27
Nice. You can pay something for a quarter where you live. That sounds

Ian 56:31
Oh, it's they do it through their school. Oh, like popcorn thing. So they can buy like a little bag full of popcorn for a quarter and

Scott Benner 56:41
the school? Kids don't miss that.

Ian 56:43
Oh, no, the kids, the school shaken me down. They know who's paying for it.

Scott Benner 56:49
It's like when they do that thing at the end of the year. And they're like, on Monday, everyone will dress like this. And on Tuesday, this and Wednesday, this and that. I'm like, Who's paying for all these costumes? What do you think is happening? And do you not realize that in my life, there's a child running around telling me they have to get a flannel shirt for Thursday's dress up day. Like, stop it. I would love to be in one of those meetings with a teacher and be like, stop. Stop doing this, please.

Ian 57:17
I'm just trying to keep the clothes on the kid. Yeah, this is not fun. They're trying to strip down to their underwear and run around the house and say it's cold in the middle of winter.

Scott Benner 57:26
Oh, you have little kids? Yeah,

Ian 57:29
seven and nine.

Scott Benner 57:31
That's a fun age.

Ian 57:33
Like, they run around the house. I'm cold. Well go put some clothes on Michigan and it's winter, it's gonna be cold.

Scott Benner 57:41
I'm cold. You're not wearing a shirt. My kids like to come downstairs and like it's cold in here. And I'm like, where something, we can turn the heat off. I was like, Who's paying for that? Although my son's now in his second week of his first job out of college. And already it was I don't understand where all the money went in taxes. And I was like, Well, let me show you. And they, there was a holiday. But he's a new employee and he doesn't get paid for the holiday. So he's like, Hey, I have off on Monday. And he's like, but that's not really good news, because I'm not going to get paid. And I was like, right. I bet you and all I could think is he's not going to ask to turn the heat up the next time he comes. So it's gonna be like, it's fine. Someone put his shirt on.

Ian 58:26
Now, you understand that utilities are expensive.

Scott Benner 58:29
Yeah, no, I think he's, he's a bright kid. Like he charted it all out as soon as he got there. But now it's, you know, it's an entry level job. It's he's not making, you know, it's not making $500,000 a year. So he's like, he's, you know, he's like, let me obviously, I don't have unlimited funds here. So let me you know, budget myself out. He's like, I have to work on these days. And I was like, No, I know. So, anyway, life, huh?

Ian 58:58
Is life. It's always fun. until it's not.

Scott Benner 59:02
Have we covered everything you want to talk about, or what am I missing?

Ian 59:06
I pretty sure that was everything. No kidding. I wrote that note. Oh, well, it's

Scott Benner 59:13
six months ago. That's my fault. Yeah, sorry.

Ian 59:15
Oh, no, you're all good. Yeah. Wait, you have things going on in your life too.

Scott Benner 59:19
Dude, I I recorded the podcast this week. Let me pull up my calendar. I recorded the podcast eight times this week. And it was one of those things where I was like, I'm going to take off the first two weeks of January 1 to get Arden back to school. And then of course my son's job. You know, like you're looking for a job for months. You can't find anything and all of a sudden they're like, you have to start on this day. And he had to relocate. And so on the same day in January, we had to start back to school for Arden and start off to where Cole had to go. So we split up it was is like crazy. And then I we had to get him an apartment like sight unseen. I had to get him down there and move him in. Like we had to go to IKEA and get him furniture and, you know, pots. He didn't have anything, you know one thing, right? So, you know, so we're doing all that and I'm like, Well, I took off from recording the podcast. So that's, that's good. And I got to play catch up. And now I'm like, I'm looking at my calendar, there's eight this week, and there's two for seven or six next week, I'm doubling up on my Fridays and Mondays, which are my days off to edit. And I'm instead of editing, I'm recording two episodes, like, like, Oh, what am I doing? Now? Listen, that's not landscaping, or whatever hard job somebody listening has. But it's it's incredibly time intensive. And, and I also want to be fresh to have these conversations as well to like, you don't want to get on and be like, oh, so diabetes in Hmm, that's something

Ian 1:00:58
just one hour of dead air.

Scott Benner 1:01:01
Me just going Wow, it sounds hard. So, you know, you're trying to be awake and rested and everything else. And anyway, I'm not complaining. It's obviously a dream job. But nevertheless, I just want to make sure that, you know, men's episodes are always shorter. I did not realize that. I don't know why. Except for Josh, who has more feelings than everybody. His episodes seem to go on forever, which are lovely when he comes on. But no, yeah, men generally come in right around an hour. Oh, they're not as verbose.

Ian 1:01:36
Oh, I have a limited vocabulary. And unless I had a ton of sentence enhancers, then I can usually get things done pretty quickly.

Scott Benner 1:01:48
You know, you think you've making this podcast like writing a paper. Like, like, I gotta throw in some various to get up to my word.

Ian 1:01:57
I'm trying to cut some words out because I don't want you to have to spend hours editing and bleeping stuff out.

Scott Benner 1:02:03
So I don't, I don't, that my podcasts go up pretty much the way they're recorded. I don't edit out content. So I do have some questions for you though. Like when when you found the podcast, how long ago? Was it? I

Ian 1:02:19
want to say it was probably I listened to you early on. And then I stopped like I listened to a couple episodes. And I wasn't in a great headspace at the time. And so I listened to those couple of those, like, history stuff. And I started listening. Hardcore. Oh, probably back in April,

Scott Benner 1:02:45
just this year, or just in the last year?

Ian 1:02:48
Yeah. Okay, I, I cannot stand silent. So I went on my bluetooth headphones while I was mowing and stuff and just listened to your podcast.

Scott Benner 1:03:00
Nice. And does it help you? And if so how?

Ian 1:03:04
It does, I'm just knowing mainly that I'm not alone in dealing with a lot of stuff. And then, like the pro tip episodes, and the defining diabetes, like more understanding how things work, and getting a good basis of what to do are a good starting point. Because I've been diabetic for 22 years. But I don't have 22 years of experience, if that makes sense. I've been sort of slacking off. Sure. So it's like, Alright, like I was, I've been really working on the Pre-Bolus thing lately, and it's like, gets a little frustrating when you can't get it first, right? It's like you've been doing this for 22 years. And then it's like, but you haven't you haven't been working on the Pre-Bolus for 22 years. Give yourself a little grace. Correct what you need to and move out to try it again. That's time.

Scott Benner 1:04:02
Are you seeing an improvement in your variability?

Ian 1:04:06
Very much. So I used to be up and down. Like I'd go up into the three, four hundreds and then shoot down into like the 50s. And I think the last time I went over, like 240 was a couple of weeks ago, and I've cut out the super bad lows. Good. That's like I'll get into the 60s. But I don't usually go much lower than that lately.

Scott Benner 1:04:32
Excellent. So you are you're still pulling together then?

Ian 1:04:36
Yeah, yeah. Was it? Nine months ago, my a one C was 12.5. And this last one I had was a dead seven.

Scott Benner 1:04:48
No shame. Really? Yep. Good for you, man.

Ian 1:04:51
Thank you. Oh, yeah, that's

Scott Benner 1:04:52
wonderful.

Ian 1:04:54
I'm trying to make I told my endo My goal is to be in the high fives the low sixes She's like, as long as we can cut out these, like super bad lows. Let's go for it.

Scott Benner 1:05:04
So you're figuring it out. Wow, man, you were? Well, you're not kidding, either. Like you. You didn't talk around it, but you alluded like you've had diabetes for 10 years. Right? And or 20 years really more? Yeah. 22 years. Yeah. And, and you had a 12 a one C in the last 12 months.

Ian 1:05:24
Yep. And before that, it was probably, I'd ride in like, the teens before that. And not think much of it, just whatever, I'm alive. And I had gotten lucky to this point to not have complications. So I figured, well, I've gotten away with it this far. I might as well just keep doing it.

Scott Benner 1:05:48
But you don't feel like that anymore. No, now I'm,

Ian 1:05:51
I've gotten to a point where it's like, I got kids to look, look out for and if nothing else, I got to do this for them. So that dad's around, to see them get married and go to college and everything.

Scott Benner 1:06:05
She's saying you made me sad. Damn it.

Ian 1:06:09
Sorry, I didn't mean to start off your Friday that way that

Scott Benner 1:06:11
shows me you told me about your agency decrease. And then I realized the rest of the story that went with it. And then you started telling it, I'm like, Oh, God, that would be sad. But I'm happy for you. I'm not sad. I'm, I'm thrilled like, what do you think moved you? Like, was it that you were working on your mental health, and you kind of gotten to a better headspace, is that you heard the podcast and somehow that alleviated or brought something to you. I'm trying to talk to people who might be in your similar situation, like, how can they get started?

Ian 1:06:42
I definitely think starting therapy and working on the mental stuff, got me moving and then listening to the podcast. Felt like it gave me the tools to actually buckle down and focus on it. Yeah. So it wasn't like going in, go fix this car. And here's a pair of needlenose pliers. And that's all you got to completely rebuild this engine. It was all right, listen to the episodes. And now I gotta ratchet in some sockets and get the whole toolkit to focus on my diabetes car.

Scott Benner 1:07:22
And you have the energy, I'm assuming because of the therapy to actually use the tools now.

Ian 1:07:27
Yeah, that's great. Now there's not that self hatred, holding me back.

Scott Benner 1:07:32
Yeah. Is there anything I could have done inside of the podcast to help you feel like that? If you weren't a person who found therapy? Is there anything I could be doing to help people who aren't seeking out like the help that you're getting?

Ian 1:07:48
I honestly don't know. I never question.

Scott Benner 1:07:53
I just follow my gut on this whole thing. So I'm just I like hearing like, it's appreciate you sharing this with me, because I don't know how to put this like, like, I'm the guy who made a thing, and I don't know how it works. It's

Ian 1:08:08
just flying by the seat of your pants.

Scott Benner 1:08:10
I don't know why it works. I know what it does. And I know that it works. And I know that if I fuel it the way that I think to fuel it, it continues to work. But I couldn't rebuild it on purpose, I don't think and and so I'm somewhere between confused about what it is that I do. And marveling at what you just said, and that some of it came out of this, you know, you know, so it's a I'm in a strange headspace. When people talk about this. It's possible. I'm trying to figure it out for myself if nothing else, because you're talking about what you're saying. And I I'm feeling very I don't even know how to explain how I feel. Part of it is like accomplished but that's not the whole feeling. Some of its proud but that's not the whole feeling. Some of it, I just feel lucky to be involved. It's there's so many. I think that's why I can't put it into words. I think there are so many different feelings that come from hearing somebody say what you just said, as the person who makes this podcast. And, and it's I don't know, I don't know how to I don't know how to articulate it, which might be strange if people have been listening for a while like, oh, like Scott ran out of words, finally. But I think I have too many words. To make sense of them if that makes sense. Yeah. Well, we'll

Ian 1:09:44
just the way I say that to my kids is you have big feelings right now.

Scott Benner 1:09:49
I do have big feelings.

Ian 1:09:52
Gonna go to treat you like a seven year old?

Scott Benner 1:09:55
Why don't I get a warm piece of toast and go watch television for a while.

Ian 1:09:58
I mean, I think you've earned it.

Scott Benner 1:10:02
Thank you. I'm not even gonna put my real pants on yet. I'm just gonna sit on the floor. But I'll tell you what, if they still ran cartoons on Saturday morning, I think one day just for fun, I'd get up at 530 in the morning, go watch my emails. I remember doing that when I was a kid at my grandmother's house, and it was wonderful.

Ian 1:10:24
I would sit down and want to watch the the Robin Williams is Genie from Aladdin. Oh, really doing that great minds think alike. Not that I remember that childhood. That's your space. Hmm. That's my space that a bowl of Cheerios. And sitting on the floor. That was a good Saturday morning.

Scott Benner 1:10:47
We used to watch. So on Saturday morning for me, it was the mighty heroes and Mighty Mouse. And then they'd run Superman cartoons. And sometimes Spider Man as I got older, but if you don't know what the mighty heroes are, if anybody doesn't know what the mighty heroes are, I'm sure you can find them on YouTube. But it's just I don't know. It's like when I tried to explain it. Like my son watched Top Gun, the original Top Gun The other night. And he's like, Hey, I watched Top Gun. And I was like, Yeah, so what do you think he has this terrible movie? I'm like, what he goes, it's old. And I was like, Yeah, I guess it's just the old. I didn't like it. I was like, right. But he saw the new Top Gun. And he enjoyed that for what it was. But he saw the old one. He's like,

Ian 1:11:43
that's like me trying to get my wife i i grew up watching like 80s movies like Uncle Buck and family vacation Christmas vacation. And I'll start quoting those to my wife and she looks at me like I've never seen that. Okay, go watch it. Now. That movie sucks. 90% of my vocabulary is movie quotes.

Scott Benner 1:12:10
I'm talking to you from John Hughes films right now. You don't even know it. Well, you grew up in the right area. Those John Hughes films must have felt like old home week, right? Oh, yeah. I know. I tried to tell my kids I'm like Ferris Bueller's great. And they're like, it's not we watched it? Like, no, it is there. Like, it's too slow for them.

Ian 1:12:30
You guys, they better watch out, they might get written out of the inheritance?

Scott Benner 1:12:34
Well, I'll tell you what, first of all, we're gonna get some inheritance together, and then we'll worry about writing it down somewhere. I need about I need about 100,000 More of you to listen to this podcast, then there'll be some inheritance. But anyway, and I enjoyed talking to you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to do this.

Ian 1:12:51
My pleasure. My pleasure. It was great talking to you, too. No, I

Scott Benner 1:12:55
really was wonderful. I wish you a ton of luck. You are on a terrific path. If you wouldn't mind in a year, send me an email and tell me how you're doing. I? I'd love to know how it's going.

Ian 1:13:06
Yeah, no, put that on my calendar.

Scott Benner 1:13:09
I would really be wonderful. I sincerely mean that too. I don't say that to a lot of people. But I would love to hear how you're doing

Ian 1:13:15
it because I named the episode so fast, isn't it? Making your job easy?

Scott Benner 1:13:19
Well, the biggest problem is is that we already have somebody's got the meats title. Ah, so I can't go with the Arby's thing. And randomly calling you Ving Rhames it's not going to make any sense to anyone at all.

Ian 1:13:35
This guy sounds nothing like

Scott Benner 1:13:37
I tuned in. I have to be honest with you. I didn't hear it. Yeah, Episode 483. Jessica no longer has the meats. I already have an Arby's theme title.

Ian 1:13:50
Well, when I was there, it was Life's good under the hat.

Scott Benner 1:13:55
Good under the hat. That yeah,

Ian 1:13:57
that's showing how old or how long ago I worked at Arby's. That was I worked actually saw on my Facebook memories was 11 years ago on January 1 was the last day I worked there.

Scott Benner 1:14:10
No kidding. Now, I have to tell you something before we go. Have you ever heard me talk about my friend Mike? Who had type one he's passed away? Vaguely. Yeah, I don't. I don't bring him up very much. But when we were kids, he worked at Roy Rogers. And when you said you worked at Arby's it made me incredibly sad for a minute. And so I set your day Oh, no, no, it's no trust me. I'm okay. I have these conversations for a living I'm okay. But it hit me really hard. Because I can picture Mike and that stupid uniform working at Roy Rogers. And like stealing like roast beef sandwiches the end of the day and stuff like that. And and I just thought like, I don't know, it just made me it put you in his space in my head for a minute. I had to separate you guys. eyes for myself so that I can talk to you. But anyway, you're, you're doing much better than he was so so I'm happy for you. I think that's why I care about what happens. So please do let me know what's going on. Okay. I will most definitely. Alright. And I hope you have a great day.

Ian 1:15:15
Thank you. You too.

Scott Benner 1:15:16
Thanks. Hold on one second, okay

I want to thank him for coming on the podcast and telling me that story. It was really very kind of him. It's kind of all of you to come on and tell your stories, but I really appreciate it and thank you very much. I also appreciate the longtime sponsorship of the contour meters contour next one.com forward slash juice box, get yourself a contour next gen blood glucose meter and those Second Chance test strips. And of course on the pod who's been with me since the beginning, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box I guess with me as the podcast or as an advertiser, and with my daughter who's been wearing it on the pod every day since she was four years old, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box.

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