#699 Don't Feed the Fear
Carlie has type 1 diabetes and talks about life.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 699 of the Juicebox Podcast
I recorded this episode many months ago and enjoy the conversation thoroughly. Just recently, I put an edit on the show taken out the noises and stuff like that putting in the ads, etc. Enjoyed it again. And yet I have no idea how to explain it to you. So I'm just going to tell you that this is Carly, she has type one diabetes, and I think you're gonna love this episode. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, I really hope you'll go to T one D exchange.org. Ford slash juicebox. Join the registry. Take the survey the survey is very short. It will be easy to do. And your answers help people living with type one diabetes. It's absolutely anonymous and completely HIPAA compliant. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash Juicebox.
Podcast this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by Type One had to touch by type one.org. Find them on Facebook and Instagram and see what they're up to touched by type one.org. The podcast is also sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor. You can find out more about Dexcom. And perhaps get a free 10 day trial of the Dexcom G six by going to dexcom.com Ford slash Juicebox. Podcast is also sponsored today by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. This is the meter my daughter carries. It's astounding. I love it. It really is the best meter I've ever used. Contour next one.com forward slash juice box. It fits nicely in your hand and in your pocket. And it's super accurate. That's pretty much all you need to know. And I'll probably tell you more later anyway.
Carlie 2:31
Hi, my name is Carly. I'm 25 years old and I'm from Ontario, Canada. And I've been a type one diabetic since 2003. I was six years old and I was diagnosed. So I've been a diabetic for over 18 years now.
Scott Benner 2:44
Wow. It's like 1617 years ago.
Carlie 2:48
Yeah, I'm I'm bad at math too. Every time I listen to you talk about math on the podcast. I'm like, you know, I can relate.
Scott Benner 2:54
We can do it together. Hold on 2003 I would add 10 to that to make it 2013 If you had another 10 you go past where you are now. So maybe yeah, it's 18 years.
Carlie 3:05
Yeah, I think it is 18 years ago.
Scott Benner 3:08
Yeah. Math is easy.
Carlie 3:11
I'm so bad at math.
Scott Benner 3:13
There are some things that pop into my head immediately and others that don't. And I've long since stopped wondering why that is not slowing me down anymore. Okay, so you're only 25? That seems young. Yeah. That's yeah. You don't feel young do.
Carlie 3:31
So I joke around with my friends a lot. I always go until old and I like you're not old. You're 25 And I'm like, But why did my back hurt already? You know, like I am achy.
Scott Benner 3:41
Who are your friends? How old are your friends?
Carlie 3:43
Oh, my friends are the same age as me. I have some friends that are older. My my now husband I got married last month. He's older than me. He's He's 32. So I guess I can't complain that I'm old when he's seven years older than me.
Scott Benner 3:57
Where did you meet him in the pharmacy looking for something to rub on your back?
Carlie 4:02
No, not even kind of weird. I we both worked at a movie theater. And he was actually my manager. So I met him to the movie theater and yeah, we've been together.
Scott Benner 4:16
Your movie theater people.
Carlie 4:18
Yeah. Popping the popcorn, watching the movies.
Scott Benner 4:23
My wife is a movie theater person.
Carlie 4:26
Oh, really? I didn't know that. That's cool. Oh, no. Hey,
Scott Benner 4:29
friends. I had friends that worked at a movie theater. I got my brother, a job at the movie theater. And then the summers you'd kind of hang out there in the lobby when they weren't working. And then one day one of the managers came back from some like Island vacation with their hair braided and very tan and I made a clear decision in my mind to have sex with that person and now she is downstairs in my dining room working on stuff
Carlie 5:00
But I love that too. Because it's funny that you say that you're friends with the people that work in the theater. Because, like, all of my close, like most of my very close friends now are all people that I worked with, or people that I worked with, and their friends. Like, it's like a big circle of friends. And we're all super close, even though the majority of us don't even work at the movie theater anymore. So
Scott Benner 5:24
from when I'm young, from when I was that young that I still see socially, are all people who worked at that movie theater.
Carlie 5:31
I think I think like cool people were that movie did. And that might be just saying that because I work there. But
Scott Benner 5:37
I'm not certain that my friends are cool, but I think one listens to this. And I mean, I think oh, no, I think he knows he's not cool, you know?
Carlie 5:48
Yeah, that's true. I should I shouldn't be boasting that I'm cool. I'm really not cool. Yeah.
Scott Benner 5:52
Well, okay, so now all this fun talk about movie theaters. And my little trip down memory lane just now with my wife. Leaves me forgetting how old you were when you were diagnosed? Wait, hold on, let's 18 years ago. I don't know how old
Carlie 6:08
I was six. Around six, I think Yeah. Six. All right.
Scott Benner 6:11
Fair enough. Ontario, is that does that experience differ greatly or not differ from what you hear people talk about from American other places?
Carlie 6:25
What do you mean, sorry,
Scott Benner 6:26
but like, like your experience being diagnosed, was it Oh,
Carlie 6:32
it is similar. Because I kind of went through the same kind of I hear like, commonly where it's like, it's very misdiagnosed. And I kind of went through that to where I had all these symptoms. And my parents, like, took me to the pediatrician. And, like, even at one point, my parents would say, like, we did some research, we think it might be diabetes, and they're like, No, it's probably strep throat, let's do a throat culture. And they flogged my throat. And they're like, well, she probably just has a virus. And so it got to the point where I was very sick at the end of it before my diagnosis. So I don't know, I think I think they're definitely I'm hoping like nowadays, it's a lot more known. But yeah, I kind of went through that with my diagnosis where it was, it took a lot for a long time to get to to, oh, this is what it is.
Scott Benner 7:18
20 years ago doing research in Ontario, which is your mom pulled together a consortium of a moose a beaver and like an otter, and they talk to them over on a snowmobile trying to find I.
Carlie 7:29
That's funny. I actually think about that a lot. Because I just wonder, like, I looked up stuff. I'm like, What did you use? Like, was Google a thing in 2003? I don't, I don't even know because I was sick. But I know at one point like before my diagnosis, they actually called, like a diet like a like a, like a nurse hotline. Like, like the weekend that I went to the clinic to get like a blood test. And like they call the hotline when nurse on the hotline told my dad like, oh, you can figure in tomorrow, like there's a snowstorm. So don't go today. Go tomorrow. My mom was like, sorry,
Scott Benner 8:03
did your mom like push back?
Carlie 8:05
Oh, yeah. My mom was like, No, I'm taking her today. Because the thing that drove her to take me in was that I was six and my brother was like a baby at the time. So she lifted me over his baby gate. And like, I was so weak that like, my eyes kind of rolled back into my head. And she was like, Okay, no, we're not waiting till tomorrow. I'm going right now. No, we're not.
Scott Benner 8:24
Did she yell at your father? Oh, this one's gonna die.
Carlie 8:31
Yeah, that's exactly what we sound like. I wouldn't be surprised if I say that at some point.
Scott Benner 8:36
By the way, I got Google as officially launching in 1998.
Carlie 8:40
Okay, okay, so Google has been around, but I wonder you gotta wonder like, how, what kind of how many search options are there back then? Like, definitely not as many as
Scott Benner 8:50
I think to search for. And that's exactly what I ran into the same problem in 2000. Oh, gosh. 2006 When Arden was diagnosed, like we googled like signs and symptoms of type one diabetes and barely got a return. So you know, by the way up, we're gonna get off this right now. But um, Google Incorporated was officially launched in 1998 by Larry Page and Sergey Brin to market Google Search, which has become the most used blah, blah, blah. Hold on Larry Page and Sergey Brin students at Stanford University developed a search algorithm first known as back rub in 1996, with the help of Scott Hassan and Alan Sternberg, back row,
Carlie 9:31
you imagine it sounds like you imagine No, man, could you imagine if it was so called background? I'm gonna backroad that.
Scott Benner 9:40
I'm thinking they're just for creepy. Lonely guys at Stanford are like, Oh, what do I want most in the world? I was like a girl to touch my back. Excellent. Thank you thinking.
Carlie 9:50
I think you're probably right.
Scott Benner 9:53
Whatever happens to us call it that. Okay, so you don't do it. I remember much from your diagnosis, because you have Ireland. But I want to hear about this a little.
Carlie 10:05
Yeah, I actually do have quite like I have like pieces that I remember I was I ended up staying in the hospital, I think for like five days. So I was there for a while. And I remember like bits and pieces of it. I remember I have a weird memory of like, like, right after I got diagnosed, like in the clinic, it was like an urgent care my, my mom was like, Okay, let's go to the dollar store and get some stuff to bring to the hospital. And she like took me to the dollar store that was next door and bought some like coloring books and crayons and all that stuff. And then my dad on the way to the hospital, he drove me and he looked at me and he said something along the lines of I don't think you're gonna be able to eat any sugar anymore. And I was like, what? Like, what, like, what does that mean? Like, I don't want to? Yeah, he was like, this is where diabetes is, you're not gonna be able to eat sugar anymore. And, you know, thank God, that's not true, but. And yeah, just some other like pieces along the way. I remember one moment, I actually wrote a story when I was in high school creative writing class about it. And I got it published on beyond type one, two, which is cool, because I submitted it to them. But it was a story about the moment my mom gave me my first like insulin injection in the hospital. And it was like a really emotional moment for both my mom and I. But I think the funniest part about it, because I titled it when I was in writers craft, our creative writing class, I titled it, I need a cigarette because the nurse who like witnessed it all, like it was a very, like, emotional moment between her and I, the nurse, like, had to walk away and she was like, I need a cigarette. And she took her cigarette after this moment that my mom had to give me my first injection. So that's a moment that stands out. But yeah, like, overall, I remember like, feeling really, really sick up until my diagnosis. I had some like random viruses that happened before like the week before, too. So like, I had a really bad ear infection. And then I had a random full body rash. And then like I just remember feeling so sick, but I didn't want to tell my parents that I felt sick. Because I was petrified of doctors and needles and all that stuff. So I like kept it to myself. And I remember like hearing my parents being super concerned and still not bringing it up to them.
Scott Benner 12:19
I thought you were gonna say that you were afraid they would feed you to the sled dogs if they knew you.
Carlie 12:25
Yeah, that's true. They live in our backyard and we're hungry.
Scott Benner 12:28
Mommy, your father's just worried you can't like she can't suck on the tap and the maple tree anymore. You know like it's just you're painting a picture of a place that I don't know how anyone lives there is it is frozen tundra. Just be honest with frost No, can't find the
Carlie 12:43
roads. You know what is funny is that I live in the southernmost part of Ontario. So it's like, like people thought like the armpit of Canada because it's really humid here.
Scott Benner 12:54
I have to be honest with you under perjury of death. I couldn't point out Ontario on a map.
Carlie 12:59
That's so funny. Oh my gosh, we like like, I don't know, like I we border the states. I live on a border city. So like, we're very Americanized, I feel to because of that. So like I go to a lot of like concerts and not recently, obviously. But
Scott Benner 13:15
yeah, here's what I know. Vancouver, Seattle, Toronto. Like New York ish. Yukon top, middle. Everything else? I have no idea about. Yeah, come on. Tell me what you know about America. Where's Montana? Quick? You have no idea?
Carlie 13:36
Yeah, somewhere in the middle somewhere. Right, by the way? No, I don't think it is either. Maybe from the west on the left. I don't know.
Scott Benner 13:46
What do you cartographer All right. I don't know. So your note to me is is specific. And I don't know where to start. So I'm gonna start with let's see. It really is kind of thorough. I'm reading which is of course, yeah, very exciting for everybody. But I think that I want to start with the first time you felt burned out? And what that felt like, Oh,
Carlie 14:17
yeah. Um, I kind of like I kind of like, the way I think about burnout for me is that it's almost like cyclic or cyclical, like I have gone through moments in time. Where, like, I get really motivated to take care of myself. And then I then I like, get into it for like, a month or two. And then I had stopped and then like, year, a year or two passed, and I'm like, Oh, I gotta I gotta get on this again. And then I get back into it. But for burn over me, I think, Oh, I think the moment that let it really like I started to notice like a change in my care was, I guess I should start with when I was in grade eight. I didn't do my own insulin injections until I was in eighth grade. I had a lot of anxiety around that. So my parents did it. So like, I'm talking like, my dad would like, come at night when I went to a sleepover to do my long lasting, and then he'd be back there in the morning at my friend's house to do my breakfast info. And then like, I went home for lunch every day at school, so I didn't do my own insulin injections. So when I finally got that independence, where I was able to do it on my own, just before I went to high school, I think my parents kind of were like, she's got this, like, we don't need to do anything anymore. And I don't blame them for that at all. Because I did need that independence. But I think I took it on a little too quickly, like, not as prepared as I thought I was. So when I got into high school, like diabetes kind of went on the on the back burner for me, so that I would say high school was one of the burnout kind of started where I just stopped paying as close attention to it as I used to. And then I don't know, like,
Scott Benner 15:54
let me understand. So. Yeah, you you didn't give yourself any injections from the time you were six until you were like 14.
Carlie 16:02
No, I was Yeah, I think I was like 13 When I did my first injection, and I didn't do any of them by myself. Because I when I tell you I had thought I had some bad anxiety like I was on. I was like diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I was on medication and stuff like that throughout grade school. But I had like very severe anxiety about not even just about like, me not doing it but like nobody, except for my mom and dad could ever do it like so like we didn't have I didn't have a nurse in my grade school. So that's why I went home for lunch every day. I live close to my grade school. My mom was a stay at home mom. All right,
Scott Benner 16:32
tell me what tell me what that felt like, if the idea of someone other than your mom or dad giving you a an injection. Like, you can just say I had anxiety, but tell me what that meant. Like, yeah, if I was coming at you, and you were 11 years old, and I was like, Hey, I'm Scott, I'm gonna give you your shot right now. Would you? Like would you shoot me? Would you rather fight me? Like what was your level of? Would you just cry fall on the floor? What would happen?
Carlie 16:59
I'm probably like, panic would set in anybody like any of my close family members. Now there's two. So like, when I ever had to get like a flu shot, or like any kind of vaccination or stuff like that, when I was younger, too. It wasn't a big ordeal. Like I my parents would have to, like, drag me to the doctor, like I would crawl onto the walls. But I think I just had a lot of anxiety about I don't know, like about like, it was just like so much fear. Like it was gonna go wrong if somebody else did it or like if if it wasn't somebody that I knew, very, like, if it wasn't my mom, or my dad, who I knew had been there for me, like since day one and knew everything about it. And who knew me who I was like, it was just going to be horrible. Even though I knew like, I know that now. That's not true. But it was like, such a real feel for me. Did you?
Scott Benner 17:47
I'm sorry. Did you have any anxiety around anything else?
Carlie 17:54
Yeah, a lot. Um, yeah. Like I, when I was in the fifth grade was one at all the anxiety kind of like, started. And I think this is really strange. I don't know what it's called. When someone has a fear of getting sick. I can't really name for it. Like, um, I don't know how to, I don't want to say it. But okay, I kid got sick in my grade school and, and I suddenly became, it became like, a real fear to get sick at school, like just throw up at school, and then not Tailspin into a whole bunch of other stuff. And then I just became afraid of going to school in general. So my anxiety like took over at that point, and like, I missed, like a month of school. Because of this fear. If I then I wouldn't wasn't eating in the morning, and my parents were like, you kind of have to eat you have diabetes. And I was like, Well, I don't want it because what if I get sick? And yeah, it was just like a, that was another point of anxiety in my life, I guess that I had. I don't know why I'm sharing all of this. I'm like, why am I talking about this?
Scott Benner 18:52
People told me they told me things that they don't mean to so. Is it as it knows a phobia? NASA phobia?
Carlie 19:02
Oh, maybe? I don't know. Maybe I'm getting the the name wrong. That could be it. But yeah, I just Yeah, I don't know why that became like a fear of mine. And then. Yeah, which is? Are you an anxious child? Maybe? Is it firstborn syndrome? Aren't firstborn children? The most anxious?
Scott Benner 19:18
I don't know. Are you still anxious?
Carlie 19:22
Yeah, but I have more control right now. Like I've learned. I'm not on medication or anything like that. If that's what you're if that was you mean, but no, like, I mean, in general, I am an interest.
Scott Benner 19:36
Do you think you're only 25? So you don't really know any? Yeah. So asking you this question is going to be maybe not helpful, but let's ask it anyway. Yeah, I think there's something where your parents young parents.
Unknown Speaker 19:48
Well, that's the one no, okay.
Scott Benner 19:51
But they were interested in in helping, but the minute that you were like, I can do this and Jack And myself, were they just out? Like, did you never talk to them again about diabetes at the beginning of high school when they were like, oh my god, Carly gave herself an injection. Thank God, we can go back to doing the things we like, Was it like that? Or were they were they still involved?
Carlie 20:14
Um, like, my dad was the one that kind of took me to like, endocrinologist appointments and things like that. So he was involved in that way. But then when I became old enough to take myself with a doctor, yeah, I kind of just overall didn't really involve them much in it anymore. Like, occasionally they'd be like, they'd check in on me and be like, like, how's it like, how are you doing? And again, like, I don't place any blame on them for that, because I never once vocalized that I was struggling at any point either. Like, I like, I don't know, I, yeah, it's just, I feel like I got that independence. And I was excited about it too, at the time, and they obviously were excited for me, because you're like, Oh, my God, she's gonna be able to do so much now. On her own, like, she can go places, you can go on trips with her friend and do things now. We don't need to be by her side anymore. But then it was just like, Oh, God, like now I have to like, I don't even know why. But doing my own injection puts so much more like stress onto me. But like, yeah, it eventually just became like, Okay, I don't have to, with my parents not there beside me doing it anymore. I don't have to pay as close attention, I guess, as I did in the
Scott Benner 21:18
past. Okay. So we're not denigrating your parents. I'm just asking questions. Oh, no. Yeah. But um, let me be clear, like you went to doctor's appointments for your type one, right? How frequently Yeah.
Carlie 21:30
Oh, yeah. Like when I was in high school, I guess I would go like the like, the, I don't know what they recommended that every three months, every six months, I was doing that. And then like, when I went to my center going on my own, I would be so anxious that I didn't want to go because I knew I wasn't taking good care of myself as I was in the past. Yeah. So when I was a kid, though, like my, like, my dad went to all the appointments, and my agencies were like, right on target. And like, everything was great. And then it went, it was left into my hands more. So I was just kind of like, Oh, God, I'm slipping up. And I don't want them to know that I'm slipping up. And so I didn't go as often.
Scott Benner 22:04
And you didn't tell them. But they didn't. They didn't ask either.
Carlie 22:08
No, I think it was I think it was kind of like, don't ask, and I don't have to worry about it, even if you like it was almost like that kind of relationship or was like I didn't want to worry them with my personal struggles with diabetes, because they had taken care of me for so long. And I didn't want to put more on to them. And they didn't ask because I think like my mom is a very anxious person too. So I didn't want to make her more anxious about my health, even though I was struggling, so it was kind of like a, like, you know, plug your ears and we'll just pretend.
Scott Benner 22:38
How do you imagine now? Like, do you just talk yourself out of it? Are you smoking a lot of weed? What are you doing? Exactly.
Carlie 22:45
Um, this year has been life changing for me. I, I think I mentioned it in my email to you. But like, in January of this year, I finally was like, I need to get a new endocrinologist because I didn't have a great relationship with my last one. And then I need to, like, get my onesie done. It's been like a year and a half since I had had my previous agency. And I just want to like, get my life in check. Because, you know, I got married last month, and I wanted to, like, get my life together before I like even thought about ever, you know, like starting a family. And now I have a husband and I want to be there for him and that sort of thing. So my ANC in January was 10.6. And that was like the highest recorded one I can think of, I can think back on anyways. And I was like, Okay, I need to make serious changes now. And so I started I had had an Instagram account, but I really reactivated my Instagram account became more active in the community in that way. And then I like for the first time because like, up until January of this year, I had never even I had been doing injections and regular finger picking like I didn't have any technology never had tried a CGM or a pump, nothing like that. So yeah, like I'm now like my last Awan fee was in September, and it was 6.9%. So like, I really turned myself around, and I'm still trying my best to, you know, make changes because I want to be healthy. And
Scott Benner 24:06
what was the what's the difference between a 10 and a SIX? I mean, at a 10? Are you just like counting cars, giving yourself some insulin and never checking again?
Carlie 24:16
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So like when I was at 10 Point, like, like, like, up until I got that anyone to talk? I have no to like kind of describing like, I would basically. I remember, I knew it was really bad when I had like, when to check my finger. And then I looked back on the last time I had checked my finger and it was like two weeks prior. And I was like, wow, I haven't checked in a long time. Why did I just stop checking? Because the thought of checking my finger and seeing like bad results was so daunting to me that I was like, I'm just not gonna check and I'll just go off how I'm feeling. So I had gotten so used to feeling like absolute trash that it became normal. Yeah, that was just living and Like when I didn't really carb count either. I feel like whenever I ate something, it was like, this is probably worth seven units worth of insulin and then I would just do it and then the only thing I did make sure I do I would do is before bed. I would if I was feeling off in any way I would, I would check. And then I would do my long lasting because I had this fear. Like if I go so high, I may be able to die in my sleep and then my parents would find me and then they would never know that I was struggling this badly. Or you know what I mean? Like I was pretty dark thoughts.
Scott Benner 25:31
Currently Hold on? Yes, yes. Yes. Stop for a second. Okay. We're gonna we're gonna stop talking about diabetes for a second. Okay. Are you okay?
Carlie 25:45
I swear, like, I'm so much better than I was years prior to this. Like this has been the best year for me.
Scott Benner 25:52
I'm glad about that. Oh, that's personally, I'm saying. Can you tell me are there other things you worry about? That aren't reasonable to worry about?
Carlie 26:04
Oh, yeah. But But
Scott Benner 26:08
yeah, what are some of them?
Carlie 26:12
I want to get into it. It's just like I have I have a rational fears.
Scott Benner 26:15
Okay, I want to hear
Carlie 26:19
like and then dark got like I've never really like disposes to people like except for my close friends and Curtis but okay, Curtis is my husband by the way. What I have a couple of irrational fears. And I have like reoccurring nightmares about them. Sometimes. I think I should get a therapist got
Scott Benner 26:37
top three irrational fears. And I'll tell you my three top irrational fears. Okay. Okay. Okay. No, back and forth. You do one and I'll do okay.
Carlie 26:46
Okay. Number one, my biggest fear is somehow being involved in a mass shooting, like finding myself in a situation where I'm someone just shooting up the place. I Yeah,
Scott Benner 27:00
hold on. Just relax. Are you okay? Relax. Just take a big deep breath and hold it for five seconds. No, no. Oh, I'll do it with you. We're ready. All right. Relax. I'm gonna do that a couple times a day. Now my here's one of my irrational fears. Okay. Okay. I don't want to be eaten by a shark.
Carlie 27:23
That's, that's a valid
Scott Benner 27:25
No, no. Here's the funny thing. I don't go in the ocean. Do you know why I have an irrational fear about this? No, I'm gonna tell you, my parents who were terrible parents, okay. And I don't care if they hear this or not. Watch jaws in a movie theater when I was five.
Carlie 27:47
Right? That's a little right.
Scott Benner 27:49
So now I'm and if you said to me, Scott, what are you really worried about? I'd say to you, I'm being eaten by a shark. And you'd say, do you go in the ocean frequently? And I go? No, I don't. So now, let me say to you that that despite how it feels when there's media coverage, there are not a great deal of mass shootings in Canada.
Carlie 28:14
There's literally not.
Scott Benner 28:17
Don't shoot each other. As a matter of course. You know that right? Yeah. Yeah. What they do? They're very stabby.
Carlie 28:26
Oh, yeah, we do. Yeah. There's a bit of that going on.
Scott Benner 28:29
I know. I know. But you don't have any fears about being stabbed? I don't. Scarier than nice to me. I don't know why you tell me why I shouldn't be afraid of shark death.
Carlie 28:42
Why you shouldn't be afraid of sharks.
Scott Benner 28:44
Yeah. Tell me I want you to talk me out of being concerned about being eaten by a shark.
Carlie 28:49
Okay. I don't think you should be afraid of being eaten by a shark because you don't put yourself in a place where sharks live. And the only other place for sharks are or maybe aquarium and you don't go to aquariums either. And you just never run into a shark. So you're going to be totally fine.
Scott Benner 29:07
Let me tell you something I know about those sharks in the aquarium. They're fed so well. That if I jumped in there and rub my ass on their face, they wouldn't bite me. Because they let them swim with other animals and they don't want the shark getting peckish and eaten a bluefin tuna. You understand? So the end you can't get to the top of where you can get into the tanks when you're at the aquarium anyway, now you've done a good job for me. Thank you. I am going to try harder not to worry about being eaten by a shark. Now, okay. Have you ever witnessed that mass shooting?
Carlie 29:41
No, I haven't. And I don't know where the fear came from. But it's Yeah.
Scott Benner 29:48
The Don't Don't worry about where it came from. I want to know how we're going to get rid of it. Because you seem to me like you were worried about so many things that you can You focus on the things you actually should be worried about.
Carlie 30:03
Right? Okay. That's very true.
Scott Benner 30:06
Trust me now. Good. You go tell me your next one.
Carlie 30:10
Okay, what's another one? Um, I think like just people. I love dying at any point in time. Like, an any phone call. Like if my dad calls me while I'm at work. I'm like, someone's dead. Someone's dead. I pick it up. I'm like, who's dead? That's that's my, into my brain goes.
Scott Benner 30:29
I'm gonna ask you a question. Did anyone around you when you were growing up? act that way?
Carlie 30:37
What do you mean? Like anxious?
Scott Benner 30:38
Like, after nine was your mom like, Oh my God, my mom's dead and jump up and grab the phone.
Carlie 30:47
Yeah, my I will. You know, it sounds like I am anxious because of my mom. My mom is is a ball of anxiety. So I know that I get it from her. Like she was the one that like when I was a kid. Like if we went we walked to school, she would be like, have a great day at school. If someone tries to pick you up in the trunk. This is what you're going to do. And like so then all the time organist was like who's going to help you prepare to at any given moment to fight off a stranger who's going to put me in their car?
Scott Benner 31:14
I don't want to laugh at you. So I'm gonna stop laughing. But every day.
Carlie 31:20
Not every day, but like she would she would make me like to like a scared of okay, I'll tell you another one. I have a very irrational fear of bees, Scott. I love insects and animals I have. I am so afraid of bees, like wasps and things like that. When I was a kid, my mom is afraid of them, too. She acts the same way as I do. If one comes near her, like where you're like,
Scott Benner 31:41
stop you. Yeah, I think you act the way she acts.
Carlie 31:45
I do. Implemented I am the way I am because of her. Okay, how cool?
Scott Benner 31:50
No, she probably owes you reparations. But we'll get to that in a second. We'll take them as co pays for your therapy that I'm pretty sure we're gonna send you to so because I think a lot of your issues aren't aren't necessary, Lee. I don't think you're necessarily stuck with them. Because as crazy as this sounds, I don't think you're actually a very anxious person. I just think you have a lot of rules in your head that you're following. Oh, do you see what I'm saying? Because, well, because earlier you said I have it under control better. Which to me means I married a guy who's not Looney skip Rooney. And because he's not constantly worried about things, I'm able to relax and quiet the voices in my head that tells me that everyone's going to drag me into a car and kill me.
Carlie 32:43
This is a podcast or a therapy session because it feels like a therapy session and I'm not not about it.
Scott Benner 32:49
Well partly Listen, at some point when we're 25 minutes into it. And I'm thinking this poor girl, I've got the next 45 minutes to save her life and then she's headed back up to Saskatchewan or wherever the hell she's from. Okay, and and then she's gonna just die in a ball of anxiety. There's like a you there was a moment 15 minutes into this where I thought someone just needs to give you a good bracing slap across the head. And then grab you by the shoulders and shaking go currently currently calling stop. Oh my God, I know, we don't legally do that to people anymore. Although in the 50s it happened all the time. Man, women would just slap each other to stop themselves. I don't know if that was just in the movies I saw or what? But I liked the idea. But we're gonna do it this way through conversation. Is that because you're not allowed to hit people anymore, Carly, it's 2021. Okay, so, so since we can't hit you, which I don't think would work anyway, I'm teasing. I just want to I want you to ask me my next irrational fear.
Carlie 33:53
Scott, what's your next irrational fear?
Scott Benner 33:55
I don't have any more. Oh, just a shark. Yeah, that's the only thing that my parents did to me that I have an irrational fear about.
Carlie 34:04
Like you're doing pretty well. Now. I'll
Scott Benner 34:06
give you another irrational fear that I have. That doesn't come from my parents. Okay. I think no, I don't think I used to think I don't think that's wrong. I used to feel when I was younger, that if we're if there was conflict in a family, it meant that the family was going to fall apart. And I don't think I had it in me to start over again, because I'm adopted. And then my adopted family got divorced when I was 13. And so what I knew was that people, when they find conflict in their life, give people away. And then I knew that when people had conflict, some they didn't work it out. They just ran in different directions. And so if people had conflict, it didn't matter what level of conflict I, when I was younger, I felt like that was going to be the dissolution of our knowing of each other. And it panicked me. And then I would work very, very hard, usually in ways that weren't valuable to try to calm everybody down and keep them together. And you know what I've learned since then? That my adoption, and my parents divorce, have literally nothing to do with what may or may not happen in my life. It's meaningless. Yeah, it's the way my wife and I handle conflict isn't the way my parents did. So I was literally worried about nothing. And all I had to do was let go of it. You give it voice. This is gonna sound very Hocus Pocus, he Okay, Carly. But I have a lot of, okay, you give it voice, which means you say it out loud. And then you stop worrying about it. And that's it. Right. By the way. Do you know what else? I'm gonna sound crazy for a second? You ever read a book called? Mind Over back pain? No, okay. Well, I think it's possible that if you four or five times a day, quietly in your mind, not out loud, told yourself. I'm a young healthy person. And there is nothing wrong with my back. It would stop hurting.
Carlie 36:30
Okay, like the power of your brain? can control
Scott Benner 36:33
that? Yes. Here's what if you go to work, you have a job, right? Yeah, you go to work and you do whatever, you're skinning something or I don't know, extracting oil from something or whatever you do. And, and you have a terrible day, bad day. And you come home at the end of the day with a headache, right? Do you think your brain is broken? No. Okay, when you have a terrible day and you come home and your back hurts? Do you think you're old and your back hurts and you have problems? Maybe now, now we'll move on to your next and third and last irrational fear. What does it mean told you my adoption thing?
Carlie 37:18
Right. What I had to think about the first thing I think most of my irrational fears are just like things that I know are not going to happen. But they seem so real. I think I think just like, do like I'm afraid that like, there's gonna be a terrorist attack where I live in the hole. It's just Bob. That's what I fear do like I fear, like, really traumatic events happening. And like I can, like, visualize it in my head happening. Like a terrorist attack. I live in a place. That's like, without giving away my location. I guess I live in a place that's like, a major trading area, I guess for both countries. So it's like a pretty I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying. Anyway, I just upgraded here.
Scott Benner 38:04
Okay, no, no, no, no, I understand. So you think that whatever the worst thing that could happen is is the thing you're worried about?
Carlie 38:12
Exactly. Yeah. The worst thing?
Scott Benner 38:15
I'm sorry. I mean, to cut you off. Do you watch or consume the news regularly?
Carlie 38:19
I did. Especially I try not to No, no, that's a lie. I still do. I'm always looking at me.
Scott Benner 38:26
Listen to me. Yeah. Do you listen to this podcast? Oh, yeah. Have I been helpful to you in any part of your life? Absolutely. Okay. I'm going to be helpful to you again. Okay. Never watched the news. Or read the news again in your life. Okay, man, I tell you why. Yes, you can handle it. I think it's not for you. No, it's okay. Not a judgment. Okay. Yeah. Not a judgment. It's not for you. Now. Also, we could dig into it if you want to, but the news is stilted to make you feel the exact way you feel so that you will what? Watch More news.
Carlie 39:04
Oh, watch more. Yeah, that's true. It's addicting. Makes you want to read more?
Scott Benner 39:08
Because you're why you're worried. So you want to get the information you need to stop yourself from being blown up by a terrorist. I understand you like a book does. It's like a book I've read 1000 times. Now. You're not allowed to watch the news anymore. I don't want you reading the news. If you have a news app on your phone, I want you to delete it. Okay, okay. Never listened to CNN, MSNBC, Fox News. Any of those. Please avoid those like the plague. You are allowed to read? NPR? Once a week. Okay, but only two stories. And then you're done and one of them has to be about music. Okay, okay. I want you to Okay, that's it. No more news. It's not good for you. It's okay. No shame.
Carlie 39:53
I'm just, I'm realizing like how toxic like I got when I go to work. Like I log in my computer and I'm like news.google.com What the horrible things are happening in the world right now? I want to read about him.
Scott Benner 40:05
You're feeding your own. You're, it's like you it's fear porn. Yeah. Oh my god. You want to be upset? It's your natural. It's your natural state. You're trying to keep this level of a that you have going like that. Like I bet you vibrate in person. I bet if I got near you, I'd be like, God damn, that girl is vibrating. Do you vibrate? Do you
Carlie 40:34
feel it? I feel like I've been thinking about how to like God. When I listen back on this I'm gonna sound like a nutcase
Scott Benner 40:41
like a nutcase. You're gonna sound like a person who grew up with an anxious mother, who went into a world with a ton of information that you keep hearing. And let me tell you, and it reinforces it for you. I'm going to tell you something right now. The world is a safer place right now than it was 50 years ago. It is a safer place than it was 200 years ago. It is a safer place than it was 1000 years ago. Okay, gang, this con is not going to come through Ontario, and kill every man and rape every woman and kill every child. He's not going to do that again. It's not going to happen. Okay, it is safer now than it was then. Yeah, your house has locks, right? Yep. Got her police departments that deter people from doing things. You're married to a guy I'm sure he's a big strapping Canadian man. He could probably pick up an otter with one hand and beat a man to death with it. Right. Do you feel safe when you're with him? Yes. Great. Yeah, fine. Unless something crazy to you. If you're walking down the street one day, and someone grabs you and pulls you into a truck and kills you. There's not a ton that you can do about that. No, yep. Right. Bad luck, okay. But we don't give away every day of our life, on the off chance that someone's going to snatch you up. Okay, we don't we don't do that. We don't give away our life like that. Another thing here, if I can make a parallel for you, we don't give away days of our blood sugar. Out of fear either. Okay, so you check your blood sugar, because knowing is better than not knowing. Yeah, about your diabetes, knowing is better than not knowing about the news. Not knowing is better than knowing. Especially for you right now. Yep. Because you told me in your note, I'm going to I better get my s together. For my I'm so lazy. I didn't want to edit that out. So I said as I I better get my act together for myself. My future husband, my future unborn children. Okay. You do not want 25 years from now, for your kid to be on whatever the equivalent is of a podcast and say, my mom is the reason I feel like this.
Carlie 43:08
Oh, god. Yeah, I gotta end it right now.
Scott Benner 43:11
Cut the string right now break the circle. You can do it. I don't act like my dad acted. But I did when I was younger. And I stopped myself. Okay, you could do this. This is not a problem. I would, I would say therapy. But you're in Canada. And I don't know what like a shaman you're gonna meet? You know what I mean? Like, you gotta get a real Yeah, yeah. Somebody who really understands the business over here, Erica, on this podcast. She's a family therapist, you should listen to her. By the way. I don't know if I've come to that episode yet. She's, she's in California. So you, I just think California, she's encountered. What the hell, she's in California. So you can't use her. But you got to find a good person to talk to. And to get rid of all this, like, pretend you have a lot of pretend in your life that doesn't exist and you keep feeding it. All right. And I've caught you just the time 25 I've saved your life just now. I can't thank you enough for taking a victory lap right now with my hand waving to the people. And I'm in a room by myself. And I actually am waving my hand. Like in victory. That's awesome. Yeah. Because we met today, and I'm happy about that. Oh, thank you. Now tell me why you shouldn't be worried about a mass shooting.
Carlie 44:30
Because the odds of that happening are slim to none. Because I live in Canada where guns aren't accessible. Either accessible, I should say. You know, and if it does happen, then it does happen and there's nothing I can do about it.
Scott Benner 44:44
So here's another thing for you. This might be controversial for some people. There aren't that many mass shootings. You hear about every one of them. They're terrible. So they sound horrible. And the media like you know, keeps feeding them to you. But did you know notice that during COVID, you didn't hear about one person shooting somebody. Yeah. Why was that? Come on? Why not? Because I don't know. COVID they had COVID to make you upset with. Right. Okay, not that COVID wasn't bad, not saying COVID wasn't bad. They already have a thing to get you ginned up to get you to come back the next day to get you to click on the Next link to keep you worried and concerned to paying attention. They didn't need to tell you about the shootings because they had COVID. Right, right. You understand what I'm saying?
Carlie 45:33
Yep. Just gotta stop watching the news. If you're bad at
Scott Benner 45:37
watching news, Carly. Yeah, most people are. Yeah, yeah. Because the last two. Yeah, of course, this was the worst time I watched my son told my wife for three months in a row. Please stop watching the news. Please stop watching this. So she finally stopped and she then I watched her thank him for telling you that. That's great. All right. Now, are you worried about dying in a car accident?
Carlie 46:04
Not so much. Like no.
Scott Benner 46:07
Isn't that fascinating?
Carlie 46:09
Yeah, it's, it's a crazy, crazy stuff. I'm
Scott Benner 46:13
scared of gonna come over here and edit this podcast for me now. I'm sorry. If you were going to curse I would have just cursed. Oh, I'm really sorry.
Carlie 46:21
I love where I started this. I was like, Don't swear. Do not worry. I know you can bleep it out. But I don't want to make your life difficult
Scott Benner 46:31
by now you first I curse we're gonna curse. Alright. Alright, let's go back to your list. Yes, kidney disease? Do you have kidney disease?
Go find your blood glucose meter? Did you choose it? Or Did somebody give it to you? Does it work really well? Or would you have no way of knowing? You just trust it? Because it's the one you have. And it's the one you are given? What do you trust it because you did some research and you found out this is a really accurate meter. And if you did, then good for you. I think that's great. But if you find yourself in that other category of someone who was just handed a meter, then I really believe that you owe it to yourself to check out the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, you can do that, of course, at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. When you get to this webpage, it's the internet. You know what I'm talking about. You'll see pictures and words what you expect from a web page. But this one has more there's tabs at the top and everything you want to know about the Contour. Next One is there talks about the pricing, the accuracy, everything that's important that let's be honest, you should have checked into before you just took that other meter. But you didn't Fair's fair, but now you know, contour next one.com forward slash juicebox Second Chance test strips. You make a little blood drop, and it doesn't need a lot of blood. But say you make a little blood drops little to spell touched on the Strip. Oh, it's not enough. Get out a little more blood a little squeeze, you put on some more. And that's where I am BB but works now. Oh does not influence the accuracy the strip, you won't waste test strips. If you don't get it right the first time, it's got second chance testing. It's a big deal. The meter also fits well on your hand or your purse or the bag you carry your supplies and it's got a bright light for nighttime viewing. And the screen is simple and easy to look at. There's no complicated markings everywhere. Just the number. Boom, there it is nice and easy to read. And if you want, you can connect the meter to an app on your phone to get even more information and helpful little tidbits contour next one.com forward slash juice box. Go take a look. Now what if you're thinking about getting a Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor? Well, that's a good idea. Because you're going to see the speed and direction of your blood sugar in real time. I will pull up my daughter's right now. I have an iPhone I have swiped up. The phone is open because it recognizes my face. It's like a little Scott. And what's your blood sugar 87 How's that sound? Just like that I know Arden's blood sugar is 87 dexcom.com forward slash juice box, you may be eligible for a free 10 day trial of the Dexcom G six head to my link to find out dexcom.com forward slash juice box. But all in all, if you want to see blood sugars in real time, this is if you're using insulin right doesn't matter. I mean, type one, type two, using insulin if you need to see your blood sugar, the speed and direction it's moving and the Dexcom will show you that not just 87 but my daughter's blood sugar is 87 and stable. If it was rising or falling, there'd be an arrow to indicate that and that arrow would tell me how fast she was. moving. This is the bestest. It's what you need. Not only is it great for safety and health, helps you make good decisions about bolusing and food, but it also it also teaches you now these are my, my experiences and yours may vary. But I learned so much by watching what the blood sugar does, how the insulin impacts it, how the food impacts it. These things are, they're paramount to me, and how I manage insulin for my daughter. And I think you would find them incredibly valuable to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes. Links at juicebox podcast.com. To these and all the sponsors. Thank you so much for listening to the ads. Now let me get you back to Carly.
Carlie 50:49
Right, I'm gonna pull
Scott Benner 50:50
out oh, wait, hold on the wrong thing. That was the lady from yesterday. I don't laughing I'm not laughing about kidney disease. I'm working on the wrong thing. Sorry, Jesus Christ. Okay. Well, you said that switching from your pediatric endo to your adult endo caused you a lot of consternation. So that I hear that from a lot of people. I want to know more about that.
Carlie 51:17
Yeah, I I think I have a little note here. Yeah. Okay. I don't think it's talked about enough in general, like I have heard people talk about it, but not a lot. Because that experience for me was like, the worst. And I don't know if other people can relate to me, but like when I had to, like, obviously, I was six when I met with the care team there. And like, most of the same people were with me, like up until I turned 18. And like when I had to leave the pediatric care and go to the adult clinic, I felt like someone died. Like I felt like I lost a family member. And like, I was just mourning that like that. I didn't have that support anymore. Because yeah, like, like, I remember, like my last appointment at the pediatric clinic. Like my dad had come with me actually, cuz I think he wanted to come because it was my last. And there was this nurse there who like I love She's so nice. And she walked us down to the adult clinic. And like, I cried, she cried, like my dad got teary. Like, it felt like, she was like, passing me along to another part of like, my life. But then like, it just wasn't a very, like welcoming. I don't know, like, the endocrinologist that I was getting, like a sock like assigned to or became a patient of like, just very cold, like, didn't didn't seem to care in the way that like I had been cared for for so long. So
Scott Benner 52:35
I got it. Hold on. Now I'm gonna ask questions. Yeah, what was your agency while you were seeing your pediatric endocrinologist?
Carlie 52:42
I wish I had a list of 20. But like, most of the majority of the time when I was in pediatric care, my own fee was never any higher than like seven.
Scott Benner 52:51
Okay. And why did you? Did you live with this woman? Why did you care so much to me? We left my daughter's endo appointment the other day. And I got I hope they don't listen to this because I don't want this to feel bad. And she said to me, and I'm quoting now, why do we come here?
Carlie 53:09
Pardon? Yeah.
Scott Benner 53:15
And I said, Well, when we leave, we get waffles. So that's all right. You know? Yeah, we go for waffles after
Carlie 53:22
Endo. Oh, you guys do? They give you waffles.
Scott Benner 53:26
endocrinologists was giving.
Carlie 53:29
Maybe like sugar free, you
Scott Benner 53:31
know, we leave that place. And we roll up the street that disjoint and we get chicken and waffles. And we use real syrup and a ton of butter. And we eat wild rice together. And we don't let it spike. And then we laugh and we leave. And so she said Why do we Why do we come here? And so if you if you diagnose that, that idea, we know how to take care of her diabetes, right? We don't need a check in for someone to tell us to do a good job. I don't need a pep talk from somebody. I'm sure I'm sure some people do. I'm not denigrating that. I'm just saying we don't need that. I'm wondering why do you need it? Like why did you what was so important about that connection to you? And this person?
Carlie 54:16
I think it was like just more so like, I don't know if it was like emotional support. Or if it was more like, like, Oh, I just like they feel like family because I've been seeing them since I was six. So like I mean, I guess it's not that's not causation for everybody, you already know was like what, two or three when she was diagnosed
Scott Benner 54:34
or bossing these people for a very, very long time. Like I could write with my eyes closed.
Carlie 54:41
Yeah, I don't know what it was. Maybe it was just like that realization like, like after I left like I'm like, oh, like, Oh, crap. I'm an adult now and I have to take care of myself. And it's like, it just got more real. Like I didn't have them as a crutch.
Scott Benner 54:56
Did you do that? Or Did somebody tell that to you? Did your mom say to you? Now you're an adult? You're gonna have to take care of this. Was there ever? Did you ever get those conversations from her?
Carlie 55:08
No, I don't think so I think because she, my parents both kind of like, I don't know, they did they read the paper, like when they weren't as involved in my care, they would be like, are you taking care of yourself? Are you checking everything you are you go? And I'm like, Yes, I am. And I get like a noise.
Scott Benner 55:27
Sorry, were you lying when you said that? Yes, I
Carlie 55:30
was. Because if I talked about anytime, like anytime I was asked, How are you doing? Like or like, like, are you? I'm like, like, Oh, I'm great. Everything's fine. Because I didn't if I were to get into it, I would just cry. Like, I would cry. And I don't know how to like, but I'm telling you, like, if I had an I had a therapist, who specialized in like people with diabetes, I think I would have been okay. Like, anytime I went to an endocrinologist, like my adult one on one I would seem before I suppose. There was just a nurse there, who like, was really into the scare tactic method, which I am not a fan of. Personally, it doesn't work on me. It just makes me not want to come back to see you. Which then furthermore, makes me not take care of myself as well. I have cried so many times because of her. Like in the office. Well, last time I saw her, she was like, Oh, stop crying. She's gonna think I like made you upset. I'm like, Yeah, because we did. She was telling me a story about her sister who died from complications of diabetes. And like the feet, two feet had to be cut off, and the kidneys shut down and all this stuff. And I'm like, You're not helping me. You're just freaking me out. And I already know these things anyways. I mean, like,
Scott Benner 56:41
I have an idea for you. What if I made a fake news program that just told you to take care of yourself? Where you were somebody would shoot you while you're walking in history? That would probably make you do?
Carlie 56:56
Yeah, definitely. More, would it
Scott Benner 56:59
not? Or would it just make you more afraid?
Carlie 57:03
No, I think a complex one brain is complex.
Scott Benner 57:08
I don't think you're that complex. But I listen, you went from a 10 a one C to A six a one C in a short amount of time, which tells me you know how to take care of yourself. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So that's not the problem. The problem is, is that you just out of anxiety, which we call it now. But the truth is, you just don't want to hear bad news. Unless you feed it to yourself, then you're thrilled to have it. So which is odd? I don't know why you couldn't. Go ahead.
Carlie 57:38
That's exactly it sounds like you've literally just described who I am.
Scott Benner 57:42
Yeah, well, I've been talking to you for an hour. I got it figured out already. It's not that hard. No. Basically the same people. True. Yeah. It's very simple to figure people out. I don't want to like, you know, not putting down therapy. But like, all you gotta do is talk to people for a while to figure out how they think. And then say the things that don't make sense to them in a way that doesn't make them upset, and then they understand it, and then it's kind of over. So. Okay, so by the way, I'm not a therapist, I'm not trained at all. You recognize I didn't go to college, right? No, I did not be listening to me. This is a massive mistake on your part. But the but listen, that was a joke. You can tell the difference, right? Yeah, of course. I didn't go to college. I wasn't joking about that. That I don't think it's a mistake for you to come here. So isn't it interesting, though, that testing your blood sugar and getting bad news? made you feel like a failure? Is that right? Yeah. But listening to the news and getting scared about something. That's not you. So you don't feel like a failure. But you love that fear porn feedback is so if I guarantee you, if I made the management of your diabetes in your mind someone else's responsibility, you would actually enjoy seeing it go poorly. So tell me how we can make it so that when you see the result, the result feels like good information that you'll use to make a good decision next time and not like failure. And how we can stop desiring to feel scared. Tell me what we can do for you to do that. And when I say I'm clearly talking about you, so can you do to put yourself in that position? Feedback is good, right. You have a CGM. Now
Carlie 59:42
Yeah, I have the Dexcom and I have an omni pod now to mainly because of your like this podcast that influenced me to get both of them. So let
Scott Benner 59:50
me stop right here in this moment. Say hey, Dex comment on the pod when I tell you the price is going up for the ads. You just listened to Carly and you go okay, cool. I mean, how much do you send those people a fair amount? Right? They can give me a little Oh, thank Carly. Okay. All right, by the way, really great partners. And I'm just joking. Nobody fights with me about stuff like that. I'm teasing. But I
Carlie 1:00:15
think it's just funny. I think it's funny, like how many people that you interview on here or talking to you on here? I'd say like, oh, I'm, I'm on it on the pot in the Dexcom. And like, and then you're like, I swear to God, I didn't tell him to say that.
Scott Benner 1:00:27
I didn't tell you to say, No, I
Carlie 1:00:29
know. No, you didn't. But I just think it's funny because I'm like, Well, I mean, they're pretty great.
Scott Benner 1:00:35
Let's be clear, they're great devices. I'm just, I just, I read ads for them. I don't even read ads, I make them up on the spot, you know, that I do. The other night, I sat down with four episodes that were edited. So there I burped, I apologize. So they're all like, Oh, you didn't hear that I didn't bourbon. So they're all edited up for sound. And they're in chunks, right, there's a gap in the front for me to put the open in. Then there's the first part of the podcast, there's a small gap for me to put the ads, there's the rest of the podcast, there's a gap at the end, and I fill it in during editing. But I sit down and do like four episodes at a time. So I make up on the spot. The ads, I don't have anything written down specifically, once in a while there's reasons to read exact verbiage I make sure I do that. And in like an hour, I record all the opens. So the bumpers and the ads for four shows. And by the time it's over, my brain is spinning in a circle.
Carlie 1:01:36
I can imagine,
Scott Benner 1:01:37
sometimes you'll hear me say like, in the middle of the ad, I'll just like I'll lose it. And sometimes I just leave it in because it's like 11 o'clock at night and I'm like, whatever. I think that point is this. You're okay. But you don't know it for some reason.
Carlie 1:01:57
Probably because I'm so comfortable with not scared of something and not being okay that like now that I actually am okay with everything like yeah, okay, so just relax. Alright,
Scott Benner 1:02:12
I know other people like this. They love being upset. Now, they don't really love it, like, consciously. It's just their comfort zone yelling and angry and at odds with one of the people, they always there's always a person in the group that has to be doing something wrong. I'm making quotes with my fingers, right? So the group always needs to be mad at one person in the group. And then that'll shift. And then the person who was being mad at like people were mad at, they get to be part of the next group that gets mad at somebody else. This is their default happy place. This this group of it's how they love to live. The more upset they are, the more comfortable they are. I think you're comfortable when you're anxious. Not because you're not comfortable with the anxiety. It's just it's a it's a unknown quantity to you. It's a feeling that is familiar. It probably even makes you feel close to your mom in some weird way.
Carlie 1:03:15
Might What am I? Oh my god, this is so toxic. Like I'm like, I gotta I gotta like see her and I'm like, did you hear about what happened? Like this horrible thing happened and you hear about it? The guy saw it and when we talk about it, like, Oh, this is bad. Like this should not be happening.
Scott Benner 1:03:30
Are you worried? Because then cameras in your home and I can see your life?
Carlie 1:03:35
No wonder until you
Scott Benner 1:03:39
are you not worried about that?
Carlie 1:03:41
No, I have I have a little flighty things on my webcam.
Scott Benner 1:03:48
I'm not using your cameras. Carly. I've put my own cameras in.
Carlie 1:03:51
Oh, no, I'm not like paranoid. No, that's
Scott Benner 1:03:56
back just in case there are any real like severe, like mental illness. Listening to the show. I don't listen to people's I can't get cameras in your house. I was making a bigger point to Carly that I said something about her interpersonal relationship with her mother that I have no way of knowing about that. I was 1,000,000% right about so. You guys. You guys fear porn each other? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That sounds weird. But yeah, it's true. Carly Oh, hold on a second. Should I call this episode Carly fear porn or mom? Oh, definitely. I'm not gonna do. Oh my god. No, I might call this one. Scott was right. Again. There'll be a comma between right and again. We're three Oh, yeah. Who knows? Anyway? No, no, no. Is this helping you at all?
Carlie 1:04:44
It is. I know. I know. You're not a therapist, but I feel like I've like I've like, learned more about myself than I did before. I started to like things that I knew were like that is who I am in how I operate. But like I've never like actually like Have someone like, say it out loud to me? Or like I've never heard it be pulled. I just thought this is who I am.
Scott Benner 1:05:07
I don't think you have to be like this at all. As a matter of fact, you seem like a very nice happy person.
Carlie 1:05:13
I am and that's the funny part is that I don't think a lot of people who know me would think that I have all this like Doom in my brain, like, because I'm very, like, very bubbly and I'm happy and I'm nice. Like, oh, my friend. Like if I send this none of my friends are gonna believe like I don't think they're gonna know like these really dark dark years that I would meet any someone like my really close friends of all but like if I don't know, like, I want to destroy this like I'm on home. I like on Facebook and stuff after I'm gonna be like, what?
Scott Benner 1:05:46
And if you do, what are you gonna do if they come back? And they're like, oh, Carly, we know this about you?
Carlie 1:05:52
Then I'll be like, Wow, I guess I'm gonna fly.
Scott Benner 1:05:57
Is the bubbly to be sly. Are you trying to mask the anxiety?
Carlie 1:06:02
Yeah, probably. I think maybe that's my, my way of trying to make people around me think I'm good.
Scott Benner 1:06:09
So I'm worried that people will find out that you're an onset unsettled?
Carlie 1:06:15
Yeah, like they're gonna be like, Why? Why are you? Why are you letting that consume your brain? Like, that's crazy.
Scott Benner 1:06:22
Why would you tell me all this stuff and not your friends?
Carlie 1:06:26
I do tell my friend. Well, some of my friends know. Like, I've talked about it with some of my friend who I feel like I can like
Scott Benner 1:06:33
they weren't helpful because they're 25. Two, they don't know anything, right?
Carlie 1:06:38
Oh, yeah. I don't know.
Scott Benner 1:06:40
I trust me. I know. It's fine. I was 25. Wants to I knew for things. Right? Yeah. So it takes a while to learn things. That's why we got to keep old people alive.
Carlie 1:06:51
They know that they know the thing.
Scott Benner 1:06:53
They know that. Old people know things. Oh, people
Carlie 1:06:56
know. I was just thinking that. I was like that can be a good title.
Scott Benner 1:07:00
Old people know things that might be a good title. But that's not the point. The point is this. I don't even think you're anxious. I think you're just you're, you're like caught in a cycle. I think if you just jump out of the like, if you just jump off the merry go round. It'll keep going without you and you can walk away from it.
Carlie 1:07:20
I think you're right. Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:07:22
I don't honestly think this is a heavy lift for you. You're not? I don't I don't know that any of the technical terms I'm about to use, I might get these words wrong. But you're not clinically. Something, you're socially something.
Carlie 1:07:39
I've been influenced to be this way. But I'm not actually this way. I really
Scott Benner 1:07:43
think that might be true. of more people than just you, by the way, but about you specifically. Because you see it like Facebook's an interesting place, right? Where people like they want to be upset. And then they want to make other people upset. I expect they want everyone to feel upset. So everyone feels the same. You know, then they mask it with things like I know the right way to live and you don't know and you're ruining the world. Meanwhile, no one's ruining the world with their decisions. Like it just it's not working that way. But everybody feels that way. And then they have to attach this incredible certainty to, to what it is they're denigrating. Like if this person does x, then y will definitely happen. I have to stop them. They make themselves powerful. And they get this confusion that like social media means they have power. I want to tell you something, Carly, I'm be serious for a second. I have a certain amount of social media sway, okay. And I am powerless on social media. And I tell you that to say that if if you if you are a person with a Facebook page, and 90 or 300 friends, and you think that putting your thoughts on that page are going to change something in the world, you're so wrong. It's incredible. There's something in advertising called the rule of 10s. So you have to reach 1000 people to get 100 people to even consider doing something that so that 10 of them will click so that one of them will follow through. You're not influencing anybody. Okay. Now what you do is you make people upset. You make people think you're a problem. Then you make division. And then people love the division. They love to be on a team. Right? I'm Team vaccine your team not vaccine I'm Team Read your team blue I'm Team packers your team Vikings doesn't matter. Like people want to be on a team they want to like they want to fight for like just this and and they want to and they want to be on the winning side. That's what happens next. That's the real fear of being on a team is that you want your team to win no matter what. And for some reason you Your team is being upset. Right? You want to be upset? And you need to be upset because that's winning. Does that make sense?
Carlie 1:10:10
Yeah, it does. Yeah. Okay, absolutely.
Scott Benner 1:10:12
Now, what are we going to do now that we have all this free time? We don't have to. We don't have to sit around with mom yelling about did you hear what happened? And you don't have to be on the news going, oh my god, this is the next thing I need to be worried about. Like, like now that none of that's happening for you. What are you going to do with all your free time?
Carlie 1:10:31
I don't know. Like, I'm gonna be happy. Like, I'm going to be happy.
Scott Benner 1:10:35
I would be happy in a piece. Yeah, good thing, and you'll probably be able to take much better care of yourself without worrying about it. Yeah, right. Yeah, you're good at it already. There's nothing to worry about. Because you, you know, good. Sorry. Go ahead. No, no, I want you to go,
Carlie 1:10:51
Oh, okay. I wasn't gonna say it like what the best come to know like having, like, no choice, but to look at all this information. It makes it less scary, if that makes sense. Like, I see it all in front of me. And I'm like, oh, that's scary. Like, it's just like, information, it's gonna benefit me. You know?
Scott Benner 1:11:09
Yeah. Like you say, you ever struggle with over eating on low blood sugars?
Carlie 1:11:15
I've been working on since I've emailed you about it. Like, I think when I was listening to your podcast to like I was I remember, like, you would say, like, you know, like, you don't need to eat 15 grams of carbs to fix a low, like, you might only need like five carbs to bring you back up, you know? Like, because you told your whole life 15 grams of carbs when you're low. But like, not every low needs 15 cards. I've been kind of taking that into account, too.
Scott Benner 1:11:40
Oh, that's interesting. So you had a fear based on some bad input? And then it took one person to tell you, maybe don't worry about that. And then you went, alright, I won't worry about that. And now that's not a problem anymore.
Carlie 1:11:57
Yeah, like so instead of eating the whole fruit snack pack, I'll eat like, two or three little fruit. Things? Yeah.
Scott Benner 1:12:05
Yeah, there's a there's a certain if you're, if you're fighting a low, yeah, there's a certain amount of carbs that will fix the low and stop you from going higher. And there's a certain amount of carbs that won't fix the low and there's a certain amount of carbs that will fix the low and then all of a sudden, it's not, you're not managing a low anymore, you're now eating and eating needs insulin. And to be able to figure out the difference between the three of those takes a little bit of effort. But once you get it figured out, then you're good. It's not always 15 grams. 15 grams for 15 minutes and 15 minutes is something that was told to people back before there were CGM back before there was good. Even meat or technology. They were literally saying if you're getting low if you feel dizzy, oh my god, eat a bunch of foods so you don't die. Yeah, but that's not the world that most people live in anymore. And you don't live in that world. But you're still acting like you do.
Carlie 1:13:02
Yeah, because like anytime I felt like, like, I like I said, I've been working on it. But like when I would feel low, especially if it was like an overnight low. Oh, God, it was like a reason to like binge like, I would just like, I would eat so many carbs because I felt so crappy and just keep up. I'm laughing because how you started at you're like, I'm just gonna say s and then here I am. And I apologize. Um yeah, like I would, it would be like a reason to just, like eat a bunch of stuff at once. And then like, when I wasn't taking care of myself, and not like I would if I went low in the middle of the night, and whose season day and it wasn't real low because I never checked. I just felt low, which probably meant I was in range. I'm not lying. Like what like look like for a while like, I know you've talked about this in the podcast, too. But like, like when I started to like make a change in my health, like my diabetes like a low. So I started feeling low when I was completely enraged. Because my body was like coming off of that, like, oh, like, you're not high, but you're not low but you feel low. So that was hard to kind of push through. But it did go away after like a couple of weeks.
Scott Benner 1:14:13
Work. You mentioned earlier you said you managed on how you felt which I always Arden's like I feel fine. I was like garden if how you felt was important than Dexcom wouldn't exist. So why don't we test and make sure why don't we look at your CGM make sure that's right. And there are way too many people out there doing that. Like oh, I just I because in the beginning they probably feel crappy when they're high and then think they understand it or they feel dizzy when they're low and then by the way, then your body gets used to being high you don't feel it anymore. And some people some people have like a low on awareness too.
Carlie 1:14:49
Yeah, I'm glad that I don't have low in earnest but I still do feel lows and I'll wake up in the middle of the night from below but like, oh my god, like, I just think about like how when Like when I was doing that, like being like, I feel fine. I was probably high. And like I was, I would eat. Yeah. And I was like, I'm fine
Scott Benner 1:15:10
excuse to eat a bunch of food and not doing anything about it, which is what you which, which was really your happy place, which was not having to worry about your diabetes.
Carlie 1:15:19
Exactly like that just being like, yeah, just not caring in the moment.
Scott Benner 1:15:24
We're gonna walk you're happy place you being healthy. Okay. Okay. Let me ask you a question about this boy that you're married? Yeah. Do you tell him all this does he know about this?
Carlie 1:15:37
Trying to extend like, he's, he's, he was aware, like, we'd been dating like, three years before, like, we got married. And like, I think, like, for the majority of our, like, when I was dating him, like, I wasn't like, diabetes isn't important to me until this past year. And I think you've seen like, a change too. And like, you've watched me, like put a lot more effort into it. He's always been involved in it. Like, I like talking to him about it. And he actually kind of crazy he, he, he is the cleanest person. I'm not joking. Like, he's so clean and organized. So like his favorite thing to do, which is my least favorite thing to do is like making sure that all my supplies are like, organized. Like, my kit is stocked. And like everything is good, like, my prescriptions are filled. Everything's fine. I've never been good at that. But he loves doing that.
Scott Benner 1:16:28
You want me to ask him what his parents did to him.
Carlie 1:16:33
Already know what his parents did to him. His parents are very much the same, right? organized and clean and stuff. So I'm definitely how he would understand like, oh, no, no, that's fine. Oh, nothing at all. It works for us too. Because you laughing because like, now we have a house together. And he's like, you know, it's ever messy in here. It's great. Because no one will ever blame me. It'll, they'll know what to you. And I'm like, You're right. Because he knows he's clean. But yeah, he
Scott Benner 1:16:59
I don't want you living a lie with this boy. Okay, so and, and I think now if you go back to him and tell him about all this anxiety stuff, he's gonna feel like maybe he was sold what they call a bill of goods. So we don't want him to go. We don't want you to think they want him to feel like that. So we'll just we'll just make this stuff go away. And it's like it never happened.
Carlie 1:17:20
Yeah, you know what's funny, too, is that my dad always joked about that when he married my mom. He had no idea how until after they got married.
Scott Benner 1:17:30
That's, you understand that? Right? Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I'm sure your debt boy is lying to you about something right now too. So what that is, okay, I get him to fix it. But hopefully he's not outside like killing small animals with sticks or something weird like that. Right?
Carlie 1:17:48
Oh, God, I hope you're getting a dog too.
Scott Benner 1:17:53
Wouldn't it be being a mass murderer? You were killed shooting that I'm gonna look at him like just not he is not going to enact a mass shooting and make you one of the victims. I was just teasing you because of everything we talked about. He'll probably push you in the ocean where you'll be killed by a shark. So there we go. Your land. Right, like in the middle that that big ice?
Carlie 1:18:27
I got it. Yeah, we don't have any oceans near us. We have lost the
Scott Benner 1:18:31
weight. I received the ocean up in person.
Carlie 1:18:35
I have I've only I've only been in the ocean a couple of times. And one of the times is gonna be on a vacation to South Carolina with my mom was there and she was petrified of letting us go past our like, knees. Because I'm sure
Scott Benner 1:18:51
sounds like a big fun time to your mom. Gonna leave my wife right now. I'm gonna try to steal your mom away from your dad so I can have a big party. You're terrific, Carly. I hope you know anything that we talked about that you wish we would have?
Carlie 1:19:10
No, I just wanted to like thank you for the podcast. Because I I love what I'm so glad I discovered it when I did too. Because it was like obviously the email that I sent you I think was in January or February and that was like right at the beginning of when I started to kind of like really dedicate myself and know and like tell myself this is the last time I'm gonna like, you know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna fall out of this path again, and I haven't yet so it's been going good. But yeah, your podcast is great. I listened to it every morning on my way to work and at my desk sometimes and yeah, I'm I think I told you the email I started looking because I'm like from the newest going down but then I realized that's not really the best way to do it as long as I've been listening from the first on so I mean like the three hundreds no
Scott Benner 1:19:53
better as you're going
Carlie 1:19:56
to listen to, especially the audio quality like you do get that better at it like I'm like, wow, this is great. This sounds
Scott Benner 1:20:02
Yeah, I got it figured out the audio better and I think I'm better at it in general. But yeah, yeah, the audio bothers me. I wish I would have known. I wish I would have no know what to do with it. Not
Unknown Speaker 1:20:15
that bad.
Scott Benner 1:20:16
I know. It's not that bad. No, I understand. But it's so crystal clear now, right? Oh, yeah. That's great. So I wish I knew that back then. That's what am I?
Carlie 1:20:26
Oh, is it Yeah, but don't don't regret it. But
Scott Benner 1:20:28
do you know, Carly, I never think about it.
Carlie 1:20:32
You shouldn't. I love I love honestly, I don't know why I brought that up. I really wanted to tell you that. I love the podcast. And yeah, and you're great.
Scott Benner 1:20:42
Well, I'm glad that it's helped me. I really don't i i hope that everybody gets something out of it. Who tries it? I didn't ask you another question again that I've asked already in the past. No weed for you. Oh, I do. Yeah.
Carlie 1:21:00
Okay. I think I think maybe using it more often would be
Scott Benner 1:21:04
because you're going at like 200 miles an hour in your brain?
Carlie 1:21:08
Yeah. All the time.
Scott Benner 1:21:10
Do you slow down with the weed?
Carlie 1:21:12
Yes, I do. Okay.
Scott Benner 1:21:15
Well, I would like I don't think you should be doing drugs. Okay. But no, might try those breathing things more often. The big breath in, hold it blow it out. It's very helpful. It just, it's centering I do it. It's very centering kind of slowed. You're kind of slows your heart down a little bit. Because I thought when we started talking, that you were speaking this quickly, because you were nervous, but it never stopped. Oh, no. You speak like 1000. Like I'm I'm slowing myself down to balance you out.
Carlie 1:21:51
I like reading listening to my
Scott Benner 1:21:54
great. Oh, Carly, stop for a second. You don't misunderstand what a podcast is. Okay. Hopefully you got something out of this? Absolutely. If you didn't, it doesn't matter to me. Because everyone who hears it is going to get something out of you're going to have done a really nice thing for people. Because the problem is paramount right now in society. Yeah, yeah. You, this is probably the longest you've gone without looking at your phone in five years.
Carlie 1:22:28
I feel outed right now.
Scott Benner 1:22:31
Right? My wife asked me this morning about my job. She's like, do you ever, like dread making the podcast and I said, there are times when I have to edit the show that I think I don't want to do this. Because it's I have to go back and read Listen, on a different level. Like, I'm not really listening for what we're saying. I'm listening for noise and pauses and gaps. And I'm like, I'm cleaning it up, right. And I'm setting up the file to do what I told you about earlier to put the bumpers on the etc. It's the it's the background stuff to it. I don't I don't hate it. I just there are some times I'm like this, it's kind of tedious for me. And she said, What about interviewing people? And I said, Oh, no, that's the best part of my life. Like so. Like, like, what I so enjoyed our conversation. I really did.
Carlie 1:23:22
I am God, because I was anxious about that, too. Before we started, I'm like, I don't even know why I'm going on here. Like, what am I going to talk about? Like, I'm not interesting. I'm just another person.
Scott Benner 1:23:32
You're maybe interesting. Oh. You're very interesting. For two reasons. Here. I'm going to be honest with you, okay. People who feel like you, I hope are going to be helped by this. And people who don't feel like you are probably like, Oh, my God, this poor girl. Because you're because you're tortured and you don't even know it. Right? You know what I mean? And but I think now that you say it, like somebody's pointed it out to you? I think I think you could pretty easily walk away from it. I want to hear back from you. Would you email me? After a week of not listening to the news? Would you email me? Yes. I'm not saying you have to start today, although you should. But but after for seven days, you have not consumed any media news. Send me an email and tell me how you're feeling.
Carlie 1:24:23
I'm gonna go on Instagram and Twitter. And I'm going to unfollow all the news outlets. So I follow
Scott Benner 1:24:29
I think I think Twitter is probably very bad for you. I think you should consider the something that you cut out for a week as well. Yeah, Twitter's not good. I can't I can't even ask for you. That's just where people argue with each other. Yeah, that's news without the stories. Yeah,
Carlie 1:24:48
no, no, you know what I do? Like, I like tick tock. I hate to admit it, but I do want to cute dogs on their on my feed. Is
Scott Benner 1:24:56
that what your Tiktok looks like? Yeah, cute dogs. I do. Got the tick tock, because I have some content that I think for the podcast that is gonna go up on it soon. Yeah. And I don't like I don't consume the Tick Tock thing. Like, I don't go through the thing. I do notice though, when my kids are using it that tick tock just appears to be girls making their breasts and butt jump up and down. That's all the talk looks like to me. Right? Like my daughter even said to me, she goes, girls are just flat out not even wearing bras anymore. They're just putting on T. Bouncing. Like,
Carlie 1:25:35
sometimes we'll be on it and you're like, I can't believe this is allowed on. There no, like guidelines.
Scott Benner 1:25:40
Yeah, tick tock to me. Seems like porn where people leave their clothes on and don't quite get to the sex.
Carlie 1:25:46
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely.
Scott Benner 1:25:49
It definitely is. I'm not getting it. Right.
Carlie 1:25:52
I think you are. You've got it. Gotcha.
Scott Benner 1:25:56
But anyway, I back to this was incredibly valuable. I think it was valuable for you, you'll let me know. But I definitely think it was valuable for other people. Now, some people might just think I'm a pompous like blowhard. But that's fine. They can not listen or listen and hate me. By the way, if you're listening and you hate me, as long as you're downloading it, I don't care.
Carlie 1:26:14
Exactly why you're listening. If you hate me,
Scott Benner 1:26:18
that's all good. But um, but I mean, I listen, I don't know everything. But this seems pretty obvious. You're you're caught in a in a in a fear spiral. You just need to step out of it. That's all. So good luck.
Carlie 1:26:33
I appreciate all your all your assistance. I don't try to listen back on this. So maybe I'll like, I'll listen to it. And I'll take notes.
Scott Benner 1:26:42
That way, I stopped taking notes, Carly, this doesn't know me to go over it. It's not hard, okay. You're putting yourself in situations where you're allowing yourself to consume things and see things that make you upset. Because you like being upset. Because that's how you grew up. It's that simple. And if you stop doing it, and go focus on your relationship with your husband, and build a new different life where people aren't upset all the time, then you'll start liking that. That's it. There's no more or less to it than that. Well, life is really easy. Harley,
Carlie 1:27:20
it it is it doesn't have to be so hard.
Scott Benner 1:27:24
Super easy. Now listen, if you're living in an alleyway, and you don't have a job. It's not easy. But you have a house or an igloo, whatever you live in. And you you know, there's some boy there that cares about you. You care about him. He cleaning the place for you. Probably cooking too, isn't it? More than cocaine. So you're cooking, he's cleaning, you're paying for the place, you're gonna get a dog, which by the way, huge mistake, but I don't want to get into it right now. And so you together, you try to build a life together. Try to find that motivating. Try to find try to find happiness and happiness, not happiness and craziness. That's all this is. Yeah, there's nothing more or less to it than that. Here here. Spend less money than you make. Okay, save some. All right, do your best to save 10% of what you make in the beginning when you're younger. If you're if your jobs are for your 401 K plans, put as much into them as you can never think about it again. Just do it. Okay. Try to buy things stay away from credit when you can. That's it. It's gonna be fine.
Carlie 1:28:41
Yeah, the way he just said that. I think I think my dad has said the same thing to me. So when he listens to this, you're gonna be like, This guy's great. He knows really,
Scott Benner 1:28:49
father. Oh my god. I haven't mentioned him once because I feel terribly for him. I imagine him just standing in a corner going like, holy crap, these two won't stop. And like and he's just like, Oh, my It's too late to leave. You know, they mean like, I've been doing it too long. And you have other brothers and sisters.
Carlie 1:29:11
I have a sister and a brother. Yeah, they
Scott Benner 1:29:14
they do they do this stuff too. Or no?
Carlie 1:29:18
Okay, well, the my brother He's younger. He's anxious like me, but he smokes a lot of weed. So he's got he's got a good my sister's anxious but she's not. She's got I think she's, you know, yeah, no, Rawlings.
Scott Benner 1:29:34
Not right.
Carlie 1:29:35
My dad is not anxious at all. Like when he talks about anxiety. Yeah, he's like, I don't even know what that feels like. And I'm like,
Scott Benner 1:29:41
No, I know that because he's the one that went to the endo appointments with you. Yes, exactly. thing figured out for like the last hour and 10 minutes now, but that's the point. So, so yeah, so I've literally if he's listening, sir. God bless you. I don't want out from Pakistan. okay to not come back here to get some milk I'll be right back some to tune or wherever those other places are that you live there is a Saskatchewan tune right?
Carlie 1:30:17
I think so thinks that's bad, but I don't know. I think there is terrible
Scott Benner 1:30:24
terrible Canadian. Have you ever even stabbed anyone? Never. Oh my god.
Carlie 1:30:29
I've never even like, what's something I've never even I've never seen or snowboard.
Scott Benner 1:30:34
I love the Okay. Do you love it when they they put the biscuit in the basket or do you not even care about that? What is that hockey? You do hockey? Oh,
Carlie 1:30:42
I don't know. I didn't know what you were saying. I know hockey. I don't play hockey. And I've never been to an NHL. I was an NFL.
Scott Benner 1:30:52
We're gonna call this episode. Carly's poor father.
Carlie 1:30:55
You that's a great title.
Scott Benner 1:30:57
I don't know what this is gonna be called. It's gonna take me a lot of fun. All right, Carly, I want you to get started on your new life. Start today. Okay. On the same two off your phone right now. Tell me two apps. You're taking off your phone. Two apps two whole app? Yeah, you're gonna just take them off your phone right now.
Carlie 1:31:14
I don't even know. Maybe. Say Twitter. I should I should take Twitter off.
Scott Benner 1:31:19
Okay, well. I don't know. It's apps on there.
Carlie 1:31:25
I don't think I haven't. No. Yeah, I do. I have the Apple news app.
Scott Benner 1:31:28
I'll get rid of that to get rid of Apple news app or just shut off the what's his name? send notifications to for that stuff? Yes. Oh, you're probably the notifications you probably love right. They probably light up. Oh, as your center.
Carlie 1:31:40
Yeah, my I got to go listen
Scott Benner 1:31:45
to what's happening. This is a bunch of people got killed. Let me look. Oh, Mom. Did you hear? Boy. All right, Carly, I can't fix you any more than this. I've done all I can do.
Unknown Speaker 1:31:59
So much. All right, hold on one second.
Scott Benner 1:32:06
A huge thanks to Carly for coming on the show and having this great conversation. I'd also like to thank Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor. And remind you to go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox inkind. Let me also thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. And again, remind you about the link contour next one.com forward slash fuse box. Now there are links right in your podcast player in the show notes where you can find them at juicebox podcast.com. When you click on my links for use them when you type them into the browser that really does support the show. And here's one more that you can use touched by type one.org. This was a pretty long one. So let me just say thank you. Appreciate you listening. I appreciate when you leave those great ratings and reviews in your podcast app and when you tell other people about the show. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
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#698 Defining Bold Beginnings
Jenny and Scott lay out the newest series on the podcast. Bold Beginnings will answer the questions that most people have after a type 1 diabetes diagnosis.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 698 of the Juicebox Podcast.
Today's show is going to be slightly different. Jenny and I are discussing the next series that's coming up on the podcast the series is going to be called Bold beginnings. And it's based on listener feedback. In this episode, you're going to hear me tell Jenny the idea that I had explained to her about the feedback that I got from the audience. And then we take the big ideas from the feedback, almost like bullet points, we go over them, put them in an order we want to record in and talk about them as we go. So basically, you're going to listen to a meeting that Jenny and I had about the next series of the podcasts, but think of it more like a trailer, and extended trailer for a new series. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin.
This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Ian pen from Medtronic diabetes, find out more and get started today with the M pen at in pen today.com. The podcast is also sponsored by us med us med is a place where you can get your diabetes supplies, and US med wants you to have better service and better care than you're accustomed to get yourself a free benefits check right now at us med.com forward slash juice box or by calling 888-721-1514. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Join the registry, take the survey, it will take you fewer than 10 minutes. When you do this. When you complete the survey, you'll be helping people with type one diabetes and supporting the Juicebox Podcast. The survey is fast. It's easy. There's nothing on there. You don't know the answer to it's HIPAA compliant. And absolutely anonymous, T one D exchange.org. Ford slash juicebox. I have an idea for today. So, in you'll so we're recording already. So if you say no, it's fine. We'll just not do it. But okay, I don't think you're gonna say no,
Unknown Speaker 2:58
I usually don't. Well, you're
Scott Benner 2:59
Yes, you don't usually. So far, you haven't said no. I've said some weird things. But once or twice, you've been okay with it. So I had this idea a couple of months ago. And I kept thinking, again, the private Facebook group is just a font of information, because you can see what people are thinking. Right? Sure. And then eventually, if you see people think the same thing over and over and over again, you think to yourself, Well, this must be a question a lot of people have. So I, I put this question out. And I said, What do you wish you would have known at diagnosis. And what I got back, turned out to be an 80 page Word document full of information. Now, Isabel has gone through and she's taken out, like duplicate questions and things. I was gonna ask how much was duplicate? Not as much as you would think when you hear AVP. But but a fair amount was was duplicate stuff. And she broke and she broke it down into into sections, like put people's questions into, you know, under headers. And I was thinking that we should do individual episodes based on those headers. Sure, and then combine the episodes together in a series. You know, I don't know what I'll call it yet. But it'll be something about questions that newly diagnosed people have, like frequently asked questions of newly diagnosed type ones or something like that.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:27
Yeah, I'm curious how did since you've read through all 80 pages, or you're like, Oh, this is 80 pages. That's a lot.
Scott Benner 4:37
I've been making my way through section by section.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:41
And because I'm curious if some of the questions are. Gosh, I really would have liked to know this because definitely right up front. This would have been super, super duper beneficial. Whereas some questions may be, well, gosh, this would have been Nice to know upfront, but it's a little bit more. I know you say like ninja level, right? It's a little bit more down the road, definitely you would use this, but you're not going to use this two days from diagnosis
Scott Benner 5:13
and see the way you're thinking about it is the way I was thinking about it. And so what I what I thought was, if we take each header and almost handle it, like it's an ask Scott and Jenny episode. Sure, right. And then and then go through them have conversations, why does my voice break only with you? You don't might be because we're on Mondays.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 5:35
That could be I was actually gonna say if my voice today is very scratchy. I actually canceled clients like two days last week, because I had laryngitis
Scott Benner 5:44
No kidding. Oh, why don't want to talk?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 5:49
No, no, no, no, I think I'm definitely better. My voice is not like, weird, not there for five minutes. So yeah,
Scott Benner 5:56
so what I thought was, and this is good for your situation, is I just want to talk through the document with you. But we're gonna, we're gonna record it. So I sent you an email, which will open up into your apple notes.
Unknown Speaker 6:12
Okay. Let's see, we'll go to my email and see where your email is.
Scott Benner 6:21
I just think that conversationally is the only way to work through all this. Because otherwise, you know, what most people would do, who are creating content for diabetes, they read these, they choose a handful of questions. And they turn it into some bulleted point less than they put a, you know, two sentences after each one. But I think that, when we're talking about it, the length of time that we decide to talk about a question, usually is pretty accurate to answering the question. So some of the most part, I mean, I think we do a good, I think we do a good job of seeing the big picture when we hear people's questions, I guess, is what I'm saying. So do you have my email? I don't really know. Second,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:10
do you not talk a lot on weekends? Is that why you are saying that? Maybe it's because it's Mondays that your voice cracks a
Scott Benner 7:16
lot? I don't talk as much over the weekend. My wife would disagree with that, I imagine. But I don't think I do not nearly as much as I mean, I record this show. I mean, the last couple of months have been crazy. I've been recording like five times a week. So I talk a lot a lot. Yeah. And then I put ads on things. I probably I probably sit and talk directly for 10 hours a week. Just like constantly talking. There are times when my throat feels sore. It's not It's unpleasant. Okay, did the tag
Jennifer Smith, CDE 7:47
I'm right there with you. I talk all week as well. Sometimes at the end of my like, really long days, which are Mondays and Fridays. I get done. I have to like, take a couple breaths before I like walk out of my office space because two children like they just they want you know, they want like, Oh, now can I talk to you and you know, kids my age have no inner monologue whatsoever. And it just all comes out. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, Mommy needs quiet tie with a bubble bath.
Scott Benner 8:19
I'm in a mood right now. If you want to know how to Pre-Bolus a bagel, that's all I can tell you at this moment. Does your head does your head gets swimming. afterwards. Mine does. Yeah, the if I sit down and do a talk, like for hours, or even when I'm the one of the reasons I don't like people to look at me when I'm recording with them is because I stare at a spot on the desk bond accessing what I understand about diabetes like and I just I talk like
Jennifer Smith, CDE 8:43
plugging yourself into a file, right? Yeah, here's my file. I'm gonna connect to it. I download everything I needed for this circumstance. And then you unplug. Yeah, I do
Scott Benner 8:53
wonder if people don't understand, like people who don't do this would understand that. It's just, there's a there's a, uh, I don't know, a lake, a damned off lake full of information in my head. And if you get me to open it up, I can just let it out. But if you but if you ask me right off the cuff, I'd be like, Oh, hold on a second. So you're saying this happened. But once I started talking about it, it just if it just comes out smoothly, so know why that is?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:21
And that's kind of sometimes the reason that I get a little bit thrown off when people who are not in my diabetes world, whether it's friends with diabetes, or people I'm working with or colleagues like you or whatever, the general public without diabetes, when they ask you these very random questions. I have to be very careful about how I start talking about something because like you said, I will go off and then you get the glassy I look like deer in the headlights like this really, I didn't want and all this information. shin and I feel like you're speaking like alien language to me.
Scott Benner 10:05
I find in that scenario, my explanations are are so childish and simple, that if the next thing I said to them was, I have a very popular podcast about diabetes, they think I wonder why? Because I just I'm like, oh, yeah, she's fine. Right. Hasn't outgrown it yet. Right. Yeah. You know, that's not, hey, you know, what, forget it. Like, you know, so it's just, I don't know, I don't get too deep in it. Otherwise, and just like you're saying, I'll just start to talk. Right? And then
Jennifer Smith, CDE 10:40
I don't when I get going, yeah. It's, it's, it's hard to like find the end point, right?
Scott Benner 10:46
No, because there's because the explanation. And I think I mean, to bring it back around to this is the explanation is always conversational, I'm starting to believe that that's sort of why it's harder for doctors, because, because they're in that they fall in that same category as a person writing a blog about it, which is, I have about 350 words here. Before I lose people, and I run out of time, and or whatever the reason, I gotta get it out, I gotta get out succinctly. And this stuff's not generally speaking, not cut and dry. You know? No, you need the big conversation.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 11:24
So well. And I think that's why the conversational learning, as you do is very helpful to many people, because they're already in the realm of something that they are trying to understand, or they understand because they're living it, when you're trying to have a conversation with somebody who doesn't live in the diabetes world, and or has no connection from family or a friend or whatever. The conversation becomes very one sided, you become whether you wanted to or not, you become the educator, right? And then it's less of a conversation and more of a tutorial. And it's not a fun conversation.
Scott Benner 12:04
Right? No, no. and the Self Editing that happens, whether it's by the doctor, or someone writing a blog, is you know that you get to a point you Oh, I don't want to tell them that because they might misunderstand. Or, you know, I wouldn't want anybody's blood sugar to get to like, you know, to think I don't want anybody's blood sugar to get too low. The way I think of that specific thing is people's blood sugar's get too low, all over the world using insulin, but most of them don't know who I am, and will never hear this podcast, right. But if we give them enough information, they maybe could stop it from happening. And I would prefer for them to have a chance than then to not have a chance it it almost feels like a I don't know, it feels like an action movie to me. Like, you know, we've got to jump over this lava. If right, if we don't, the monsters gonna eat us, right? Well, we might as well jump and see what happens, right? Maybe we'll make it over the lava. And that's sort of how I think about this, like you should have the opportunity to succeed. It's not going to work out right for everyone. Or it might take longer or shorter for some people, but not telling everybody so that some people don't fall into the lava. Does that make sense to me because everyone's gonna get eaten by the monster. Correct. That's just
Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:23
and at some point, somebody's going to be ready enough to jump. Maybe they weren't when you first gave them the information. But if you gave it to them, at some point, they're likely going to try to use some tidbit that you provide it right. They'll
Scott Benner 13:38
have this recollection, they'll think oh, you know, I listened to that. Like, again, I I swear I didn't bring this up on purpose. But this idea of talking about these people's questions after being diagnosed, you can listen to these, and maybe maybe three months from now, you'll say to yourself, Oh, I remember someone said that in this thing. I could go back and look again, I could maybe just go with my recollection. But isn't that better than them being blindsided by it? Another great example, I think, is that this morning, in the Facebook page, someone someone's kid had a seizure, their their Dexcom was I don't know if it was in. If it was starting up, they didn't have access to their Dexcom data for a little while. kid had a seizure. She grabbed the G voc hypo pen, she stopped the seizure. She took the kid to the hospital. He's recuperating. Now, my point is, is that she did it like, like you should see her recollection of it. She had the information about what to do. It's not it's not this harried like, oh, it's not the Scarlett O'Hara post where she's like it. The world's happening to me again, you know, come pray. She's not asking for prayers. She's like saying, Look, this thing happened. It sucked. And we took care of it. And here he is. He's fine. And right and i thought i I was proud of that, like, I wish it wouldn't happen to the kid. But I mean, as a person whose child's had a seizure, it can happen, you know what can
Jennifer Smith, CDE 15:08
happen, right? And I think another another thing that you bring in there without really saying it is that, in this circumstance, the parent didn't get emotional, the parent was rational. They said, This is what's happening. This is what I have to do about it. And this is the next step. And that's what you have to do. I mean, if I had a t shirt that says, said, anything, it would be be calm and think like Spock, it would like seriously, if you just all of these things that you learn along the way, many of them are very just rational, do it decision, right? Don't emotion, don't put emotion into it. Because despite there being feelings about diabetes, and how cruddy it can be to manage things at times, and whatever. A lot of its decision that is, right now, this is what I have to do.
Scott Benner 16:02
And someone brought it up to me recently, and I'm gonna have to look into it more because it keeps popping back into my head. They talked about thinking like an astronaut, because everything that an astronaut comes up through is trying to kill them. Right? So when everything that you say you put it in order, like this one's gonna get me first we'll take care of this, then that one, then that one is the seventh thing, the 70 a thing on that list gonna kill me. It might.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 16:29
But but if I clear up one through 69, it might not it
Scott Benner 16:33
might not. And maybe it will something will change or whatever. And I just, I don't know. I think about life that way. Honestly, not just diabetes. So you know, whatever's our most emergent problem. It took me years to explain to my wife that my to do list was fluid. Like she would write it for she'd write it to do list she'd like you didn't do number one yet. I'd be like, well, number six is on fire. So I can't get one through five doc before six burns the house down. I'm gonna have to move the list around a little bit. It's, it's one of the reasons I enjoy making the podcast by myself. And not because people are like you, you could get an assistant or you should do this or what about an editor? And I was like, huh, I don't know. I like, I like the way I think about it. You know? So anyway, did you get my text? 20?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 17:21
Yes, that's right here. I thought I said yes, it came through perfectly fine, and was enjoying our conversation. It's, it's probably the longest text message that I have in. But I should say it's the longest texted note. As I have. No,
Scott Benner 17:38
did it open in your notes? Yes. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 17:40
It opened in my notes now.
Scott Benner 17:41
Yes. It's all good. Well, trust me, it's the longest one I've ever seen either. So scrolling through it, she's got it broken down to carb guidelines and impact of food. This is Isabel who took care of this she's, which is a pretty long list. It is then there's stalking, range, food choices Pre-Bolus Sing the 1515 rule. Fear of insulin highs and lows. Isabel, you did such a nice job of this honeymoon, terminology, flexibility, guilt, fears and hope expectations. And I'm still scrolling. Wow, that's that's a long one. About the podcast and the community around the podcast, medical team. Holy Hannah, technology and diabetes supplies Jenny, I'm gonna need you to quit your job. So we can do this. And insurance and insurance, long acting insulin exercise, journaling. That's interesting school being diagnosed as an adult, family, extra topics and then stuff that she's
Unknown Speaker 18:57
wasn't relevant to that that
Scott Benner 18:58
she didn't find would be relevant to this idea.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 19:02
Or maybe they didn't fit into a category. So I mean, they might be things that we can look through and see if there
Scott Benner 19:07
Yeah, and the rest will call that at some point if we get to it.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 19:12
So now my brain like I did when we first did the pro tips, like we need to rearrange this listing, right? I would probably go through this and list them out according to what I think would be really important first newly diagnosed really go here first and then next year and next year kinds of thing.
Scott Benner 19:36
I was hoping you would think about it. Honestly.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 19:39
I mean things like a medical team, and
Scott Benner 19:52
you ordered diabetes supplies. And if you're like me, you may have been using a place that made you want to reach up with your hands and Grab your hair and urine couldn't read out of your head because it was very frustrating. Or they say things like, well contact your doctor, you don't have to worry about it, then you had to worry about it because they never contacted your doctor. If this sounds familiar, and you're tired of that, I was almost like crap. But now I said it anyway. So if you're tired of that, I suggest you check out us med. US med accepts Medicare nationwide in over 800 private insurers. They carry everything from your insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, and the latest CGM. They always provide you with 90 days worth of supplies, and they have fast and free shipping. US med likes to say that they want you to have better service and better care than you're accustomed to today. Why not give us metta shot, they have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau. And they've served over 1 million diabetes customers since 1996. Us mad.com forward slash juicebox. That's the place you get your free benefits check. You could also do it at 888-721-1514. Get yourself some white glove treatment. Instead of that treatment that you're accustomed to. Oh, we'll call your doctor for you take care of the whole thing. There's nothing for you to think about bowls. You know what I mean? Us med.com forward slash Juicebox. Podcast is also sponsored today by Ian Penn from Medtronic diabetes, you might want to know more about it. And if you do want to know more, you're in luck, because Google's God is here to tell you about it. The in pen is a is a pen. It's a it's an insulin pen. I thought that was you know, it's an insulin pen. It's an insulin pen, but it's so much more because it connects to an app on your phone. This app gives you access to a dosing calculator, dosing reminders, card counting support a digital logbook, many of the features that people with insulin pumps get. So if you're looking for some of the features that you can get with an insulin pump, like you know how much insulin is active in your system. If that's something you want, you should look into the NPN. There's also an offer on the internet. Now you have to have, let me just say you have to here's I'll read it to you, instead of me just fumbling through the words, this offer is available to people with commercial insurance and Terms and Conditions apply, right? But you may be able to pay as little as $35 for an in pen, which is crazy. Medtronic diabetes does not want costs to be a roadblock to you getting access to the therapy you need. So go check out in pen today.com a great device, I think you're gonna really enjoy it. There's not much to lose here. So go ahead and check it out. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player, and links at juicebox podcast.com. To end Penn, US Med and all of the sponsors, including a link to where you can take the survey for the T 1d Exchange. Check it out, please support the sponsors. When you do you're supporting the show. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna get you back now to my conversation with Jenny, as we talked about bold beginnings. In Penn requires a prescription and settings from your health care provider, you must use proper settings and follow the instructions as directed. But you could experience high or low glucose levels for more safety information visit in Penn today.com.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 23:49
Maybe even food choices before like the carbs and the carb effect kind of thing. I think that the 1515 rule could definitely go along with the lows and the highs, I think can be kind of included together. Gosh, there's so much in here honeymoon definitely up at the top. I think that honeymoon is really poorly explained from the get go. And it's almost like a skirted over sort of comment. That's not explained very well. And so people get lost in whether it's going to happen or it's happening or how to know what's happening or what to do about it. You know what I mean?
Scott Benner 24:34
Yeah, okay, well, let's, let's do this together now. Okay. Okay. So I'm, you tell me and I'll put them up at the top.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 24:44
Well, I would definitely say honeymooning would be a good first, because that's going to mean for the most part. Within a very quick time post diagnosis. If honeymoon is going to happen, that's where it's going to end. happen. So that would be probably first. And then I'm kind of curious, you know, terminology is almost like the defining, yeah, diabetes. Right. So terminology, these are really good. Maybe just the ones pacifically post diagnosis that would be very important to have information about. So I would say, right along with honeymooning the terminology,
Scott Benner 25:30
okay. I have it there. I am putting him in your order.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 25:35
And then I don't know, I'm kind of like the medical team, I think could maybe be laughed before we move into like a little bit deeper. But I'm wondering like the highs and lows, especially, because there's a fair amount in the fears around highs and lows. And then specifically the 1515 rule. I don't know how many people post diagnosis I get to talk to who specifically asked about that. So clearly, this rule is still being taught. Yeah,
Scott Benner 26:09
exactly. And it's, and it's, and it becomes obvious to people pretty quickly that it doesn't make sense. And then they get stuck. Frustrated. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 26:19
Yes. So I would definitely say that. Mmm hmm. I think right along with is there's one about insulin in here. And I think it might even be able to be included around fear of insulin is the Pre-Bolus thing. And I the reason I put it in there is I, I think because from the get go if people aren't taught about timing, you do start to fear insulin. Yeah. Because it seems because it's erratic. Exactly. So I would say, you know, within that 1515 rule, the fear of insulin lows and highs explanation of insulin, and then moving into Pre-Bolus Singh. And I think Pre-Bolus Singh could then move more so into wondering like curb impact, because they kind of go hand in hand.
Unknown Speaker 27:23
There are so many categories here.
Unknown Speaker 27:28
What about what about stalking?
Scott Benner 27:32
Well, stalking is going to be
Jennifer Smith, CDE 27:38
I mean, that kind of goes along with fear of insulin. It goes
Scott Benner 27:41
along with everything. It goes along with, right 1515 It goes along with fear of insulin Pre-Bolus thing you ever have somebody ever have somebody asked you. I had dinner, and I Pre-Bolus. And then I had seconds, what should I do? And it's fascinating. They don't, they're stuck. They're like, I've never had a meal inside of a meal before. What goes on? I can't just Bolus again. And it's funny, because in my mind, I'm like, well, you're taking in more carbs. Why not? You know, and then the I think that what they think is, well, that's so much insulin. And I just put in someone they might be thinking about stalking without ever having been told the word because because it seems like too much to them.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 28:27
And I think the real definition of stalking too in there, or a better definition of stalking, because what you're talking about, in a way it's stacking, but it's not stacking without purpose, right. You know, everything that you eat is going to require insulin, right. And it goes back to the timing of the insulin. And also now that we have wonderful technology, like a CGM. What's your CGM telling you? Yeah. Are you stable? Are you already rising? Are you falling? Are you low falling? Right.
Scott Benner 29:03
So this this lady posted a graph the other day, and it was a 12 hour graph was beautiful. And there was like, I don't know, she took the kid out for waffles and ice cream or something like that in there. And she said something like that her her child had like 250 carbs in this giant like, you know, food. Right?
Unknown Speaker 29:27
That's a lot of food. Holy cow, right?
Scott Benner 29:29
I was like, Wow, no kidding. But she you should have saw the line. And and it was it was so it was so flat. And then everybody comes in and their first thought is that's so many carbs. That's so much insulin. How much insulin was was a smaller kid right. And and she says it was like it was over time I think 17 units she used over out the kid didn't like horsepower. Yeah, this this happen, like stages over a couple of hours. hours. And I kind of chuckled to myself when I read it. Because if Arden has a carb heavy meal, she could use 17 units for a meal. And sure, it's a lot like, you know, I'm not saying it's not, but it's not a lot for that food. It's just it was interesting that people's, that their first thing isn't, Wow, you did that? How can I do that? It was, it was back to their preconceived notions about things. That seems like a lot of carbs, that seems like a lot of insulin. It seems like you know, and, and that's all relative to begin with 17 units. I mean, listen, if you if you had, you know, if you had type one, and you weighed 350 pounds, you might be used in 17 units to move a number, you know, like, like, there's all different reasons why the numbers should be. The numbers are what they are. You know, if Arden goes out has nachos with cheese steak on it, and french fries, you know, we're somewhere near 17 to 20 units. It's you know, because for the fat and everything, there's a lot you know,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 31:04
I don't think I've ever taken a 17 unit bowl. Oh, my
Scott Benner 31:08
like, yeah, well. You eat like a healthy bird.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 31:16
I don't know. I you know, even growing up though, I had definite high insulin needs as a teen. I all teens do. But yeah, I don't know, maybe it was more just from the standpoint that I also started in a very different school of thought and education than we have today. Yeah. I mean, I actually I went to my mom's on Saturday with my boys just for an early Mother's Day. And she's been trying to like do some cleaning and whatnot. And so you know, for my brother and I, she kept really organized files, like every report card we ever had. All of these things. Well, I found in there a scrapbook that I had, at some point put together after my diagnosis with all of my cards, all of my mylar balloons taped into this scrapbook and everything. And I found three of my hospital menus with my choices during that week. You kept all of
Unknown Speaker 32:14
that. I didn't my mother. This is my mom. Yes, this is what she does. But it was snowing.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 32:23
Yes. But it was amazing to me. And in terms of this, that I had a very structured plan that was based on portions and the insulin that went along with it. There wasn't as much variety or variability. And that's just not how my mom did it either. I'm sure other people probably at that time may have. It's just everything was very structured.
Scott Benner 32:50
It makes clear what the technology wasn't there to track anything you did. I mean, if you started if you try to eat 250 carbs back then you would have I mean, you would have been high. I don't see another way. Oh, yeah, your blood sugar would have been high forever. I think that's why some of the the old time he type ones in those group, see, see that? And it fries their mind? Yeah, you know, like you can't do that is always there. I wish the internet was audio. So that because I think you can't do that. In typing, you know, typed out doesn't mean the same thing is how it would sound like, you know, it sounds. It sounds like a direction typed out. You can't do that you're not allowed to do that. What I think they really mean is holy hell, you can't do that. Right. Yes, that's not gonna work. But, but I mean, it does it just, I mean, it does, you know, and again,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 33:44
it goes along with timing of insulin and when to put it in and what you're seeing again, our technology today allows you to do some of these types of things. As long as you're paying attention.
Scott Benner 33:57
Yeah, right. Right. So all right. So we got some stacking fits in there. So right now have honeymooning terminology highs lows 1515 Rule fear of insulin lows and highs Pre-Bolus thing carbon pack stacking
Unknown Speaker 34:14
and then I think I would put do we put food choices somewhere in there? Not yet.
Unknown Speaker 34:24
Um,
Scott Benner 34:26
sort of has to go before Pre-Bolus and doesn't Pre-Bolus
Jennifer Smith, CDE 34:29
thing? Yeah, I would put it in definitely before Pre-Bolus. And then I'm wondering if I was just reading range. I'm assuming we're talking about glucose ranges here.
Scott Benner 34:48
Let me look. Next, make sure I see it the way you said. What range to be out or shoot for. How being 200 for weeks is okay as the body adjusts. But to taper down to More realistic unhealthy range, that it may take a while to normalize blood sugars that have been happening. So it's kind of a broad it is. Yeah,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 35:10
I would probably break it down to range based on what's considered healthy range, what's considered a normal range outside of having diabetes, what is the human body typically aim for. And then I would move into range that might even include things like safe ranges for activity and safe ranges for illness and range that you might hear from your medical providers versus what you're really trying to aim for. Along with, where should your glucose be? What should your target be? Fasting first thing in the morning? What should it be? Or what should you expect after meals? All those things, I think, fit within range.
Scott Benner 36:01
Well, we could do it as as one episode, and just break it up within the episode, right?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 36:10
Yes. And I think I'd I'd move into then definitely, maybe even terminology. And there's one in here that's about I think, the medical care team, right? Because I think they they all in a way go together and medical care team in terms of ranges alone, or they're going to have a very similar range for everybody. They're just going to give you your their blanket statement. You should be here. That your alarms here. Yeah,
Scott Benner 36:44
they're gonna say whatever the ADA said last right. For the most part, 70 to 180 right now is that the numbers,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 36:51
that's the numbers right now, I mean, even even most of the CGM does have that set as their default in terms of data collection 70 to 180, unless you go into your own settings, and actually physically adjust them to see your cumulative information that's scaled to your target range. And again, a lot of people don't even realize that they can do that within their, you know, software, data analysis, like clarity or whatnot. But then even discussing within the medical kind of piece, how to pick a medical team how to ask questions within the medical team, I mean, I'm assuming some of these are the questions within that medical.
Scott Benner 37:32
So what if we didn't worry? What if we put these in order, which we're doing now? Then after we have it in order, then I will apply a topic to every one of our recording dates coming up? Perfect. And then we can be read ahead? And then just sit down when it's time to record and, and have the conversation? Were actually well planned? Jenny, what do you think of that?
Unknown Speaker 38:01
That's a great idea.
Scott Benner 38:04
Listen, I'm gonna tell you, we don't
Jennifer Smith, CDE 38:06
usually ever in fact, we never do. I never know what we're talking about until we click in together and I like gardening. And you're like, let's talk about this today.
Scott Benner 38:14
I'm gonna tell you right now that one of the things about the Pro Tip series that I'm most proud of is just that, that it really is. I mean, we made a bullet pointed list. And then we said the topic out loud and then did what we did. And it's been so valuable for people. I think this is going to do something similar. Now, here's a question for you. This is more of a pocket podcast question. But I'm interested in your opinion. Do we just make this part of the Pro Tip series? Like remember, I said, I wanted to go back and revisit the pro tip episodes. Right? Maybe this is going to do that?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 38:52
It may, it may do enough of that. I think the pro tips are I don't know what the longest pro tip episode was maybe an hour.
Scott Benner 39:01
Yeah, there might be one that's more like our 15 or something like that. But pretty, pretty close to that.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 39:06
Because I think those were very, very specific. And while we talk and veer off and whatever within our conversations, I think if I were to do it, I might actually put this as a pro tip, category, pro tips for newly diagnosed and then put these all up definitely as pro tips, but these are the things within here. If you are newly diagnosed, go here and if there are additional questions based on one specific topic, maybe go to the regular pro tips and look up that you know what I mean?
Scott Benner 39:51
Yeah, no, I do. That's a good idea. All right. So I'm still I'm still pulling topics and bringing I'm up top so that I can see them. So you know, there a lot of Yeah, hold on a second so Okay, so we have still flexibility, medical care team guilt, fears, and hope X and hope expectations, podcast community family journey school journaling, exercise, long acting insulin. I know that when, after the after the topics came back, so I eventually close the thread and I was like, Okay, this is enough. I'm good thanks. And it was very generous of people to come in and spend time but giving real clear explanations of the things that were confusing to them or that they found helpful, etc, right. And then I put it all into this Word document. And I was like, I don't know what to do with this, you know, so I didn't have time. And I thought this is such an asset. I don't want to lose it. But I was like, I don't know what to do with this. And Isabelle said, I'll go through it. And I said, thank you very much. And weeks, took her weeks to like, you know,
Unknown Speaker 41:15
I'm sure. A lot of information 80 pages is no joke.
Scott Benner 41:19
No. And so she went all through it. And I thought, it's a lot. And most people wouldn't put this effort into their content. And I think that's why it's gonna be good. You know? Yeah. So it's even why I'm not scared to discuss it here with you. I mean, honestly, this episode is going to serve as sort of like a primer to let people know what's coming. They probably, they probably won't hear this, too. We have a number of these recorded already, I'll probably put out first get them ready to that it's coming. But there was a there's a voice in my head that says, Don't let people hear you and Jenny talk about this, because they're gonna rip you off. Because that does happen. Jenny, I put up content. And then a week later, everybody's, somebody else has to talk about the same thing like, oh, wow, what a surprise. And but I don't care. Because I think, I think first of all, I think the effort we'll put into, it won't be matched by anyone else. And the information, you know, I would hold up against what anybody else could come up with. And, and the other thing is, I just don't think that this is how, I don't think people put this kind of effort into stuff. I just don't, you know, even going all the way back to the Pro Tip series, like the amount of hours that we spent recording that stuff. You know, a lot. Yeah, and you you know, we say this all the time, but you don't work for me, like you're not getting paid to do that, like, you know, where are you gonna get somebody with your knowledge, and your understanding of how to explain things, and an ability to talk to me because you and I, like, we get along really well. And we vibe off of each other, but we're not similar. Like, you know, it just it just works, you know? And you're not gonna get that so I think we can do this. I think this will be terrific. No, this is really great. Yeah. Okay. So does it repopulate when I move words, do you see it happen right away?
Unknown Speaker 43:08
I see it happen on my screen. Okay. Okay,
Scott Benner 43:11
so you saw me misspell a word. That's embarrassing. Nevermind.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 43:15
Actually, I was gonna ask you what? You had the word long after exercise. And I was like, what else goes along with that? I don't know what long means long time without insulin long time
Scott Benner 43:27
to scroll to make sure we have them all. So I mean, there it is. Right? It's, it's, I think that's everything. I'm gonna go back down and go through it when we're actually you stay up there where the list is. And I'll scroll through and tell you what's here. You can tell me if we have it up top or not. Extra topics. I'm not worried about that right now. Family is family up there. Family is up there. Yep. Being diagnosed as an adult. I don't remember typing
Unknown Speaker 43:57
that is not up there. No,
Scott Benner 43:59
can you add it and we can rename these topics because you know, Isabel's first language isn't English. Oh really? She's French.
Unknown Speaker 44:13
Oh, that's you did tell me Yeah.
Scott Benner 44:14
And I only said that so when she hears this she'll she'll be mad at me for saying that. school.
Unknown Speaker 44:23
School is in there
Scott Benner 44:24
journaling yep exercise. Yes long acting insulin. Yes. Technology and diabetes supplies that's out there. I can add that okay. And then insurance which I know I didn't put up there either. Insurance and the medical team Yes. Yes. Did someone add did I add podcast and community? Yes. While this topic so long I can't get the The header what is it going to be? I'm still scrolling.
Unknown Speaker 45:05
I think the long one.
Scott Benner 45:06
It's guilt fears, hope and expectations is incredibly long. That's here. Okay, there's probably the reason for that is likely going to be that there are a lot of personal anecdotes in here, which took people log in to type out. I'm gonna,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 45:19
I wouldn't expect so to and some of that, you know, we'll go through these obviously ahead of time, but I would expect some of the things within that, especially the fears may be addressed within the other topics,
Scott Benner 45:33
right? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think we're gonna I don't believe that we're gonna have to go through these, these and read everyone's thoughts and answer them. I think I think the way I see this happening is that we prepare by reading them make our own couple of notes, and then we can have a bigger conversation around that and interject people's thoughts when they when they build on everything. Flexibility is up there terminology is up there honeymoon is fear events on lows and highs 1515 Pre-Bolus. thing I'm getting close to the top. Food Choices, range stalking. Carb guidelines and impact of food. Carbon pack gifts,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 46:23
is current guidelines and actual
Scott Benner 46:27
I think that's a topic Yeah. All carbs isn't a topic, better education on how insulin works with specific food groups would have been beneficial.
Unknown Speaker 46:35
The hospitals there's there's curb impact is that the headaches?
Scott Benner 46:41
But hold on a second, you typed it in
Unknown Speaker 46:42
here already?
Scott Benner 46:45
I see what you're saying. You're saying it's possible that I, I shortened it. And I should have wrote that. So I'm gonna put that in there. And I'll change that. Yeah, because this is really interesting. The hospital made it seem very black and white. You eat X carbs, you take this much insulin and go on with your life. Another person said the impact of food nutrition component on blood sugars. Why isn't her blood sugar tracking the same for breakfast day after day, even with meticulous carb counting? You're right, a lot of these are going to be able to like we're going to be able to give an explanation and then point somebody to a different episode to wait where they'll be able to be helped counting carbs as a huge stressor for us easy ways to count carbs and how different things hit you differently would have been great. Yeah, so basically, these last three statements sort of say the same sort of say the same thing. So okay, great. But my point is, is that the luck of having such a large group of people, one of the things that's great about it, is that this is, um, this isn't just a random person saying something now, like we have consensus,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 47:56
this is a pool. This is a pool of you know, I mean, if you were doing like a research project, you would have a lot of participants. Yeah, right. Our research wouldn't be n of 10, which then the general information about like a study like that is like 10 people great, but the world has how many billion people in it right? And now many of them have diabetes. So how relevant is this, but this is a very good yeah, amount of people comments
Scott Benner 48:22
right now, I think this is so be good. And then some people go into more detail, my biggest frustration is that at first they send you home and tell you that your child can only eat carbs during the three main meals. They talk about free snacks outside of it. So you spend hours researching free snacks and loads of money buying them. And then two weeks later in class, they say oh, by the way, she can have carbs whenever she wants just those for it. Here's your new chart, even if they just said we want you to wait a couple of weeks, but at this point will teach tricks and I say okay, yeah, this is this is gonna be good. All right. I'm excited. This is cool. This is what I was hoping would happen. You're up for it. So yay. Do we want to try this last couple of minutes we have do you want to try to put the rest of them in order or?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 49:10
Sure let's see so we have order already for Honeywell and terminology highs lows kind of all the insolence sort of together. I think maybe within the insulin we should also put probably
Unknown Speaker 49:32
let's see highs and lows
Jennifer Smith, CDE 49:33
I think should also maybe be Where's range because the highs and lows kind of go along with range. Okay, so right. So maybe highs and lows and then range. Alright, that's all together.
Scott Benner 49:51
Got it. I feel like guilt fear, hope expectations, podcasts and community Isn't last, like, towards the end may be correct those things so I'm gonna chop those out and put them down lower. Make some space here. I think flexibility is a huge part of it. To be honest. I honestly think your medical team is towards the end newly diagnosed people are not going to break away from a from a new medical team. If it's a bad one, they're not going to even know. Right away. Right? So Correct. Maybe put that more towards the end as well. Oh, great. All right. And long acting insulin could just
Jennifer Smith, CDE 50:40
think long acting needs to be around the well EV around that fears of insulin lows and highs. Because you can also define rapid acting insulin within that even though it wasn't a question asked. I think it's going to be a piece of that fear of insulin.
Scott Benner 50:58
I put it before because I can see myself talking a lot about basil in there. And correct. I just think that basil gets ignored by everybody does. Yeah.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 51:08
It gets ignored by everybody. Except it's the first place that most clinical people adjust first. Yeah, they just don't. Some are Basal here. Yeah. Hi, here. Let's just put some more Basal insulin here. Yeah, probably not. But
Scott Benner 51:23
I put I'm starting to work backwards. I put journaling and family towards the end. Correct? Sure. And so I'm going to put towards the end, we can rejigger these as we need to technology and supplies. That one,
Unknown Speaker 51:38
I might put that with maybe before after insurance before or after insurance. Okay.
Scott Benner 51:43
Being diagnosed as an adult.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 51:50
Um, that might actually, I'm wondering if that wouldn't be too bad to put after honeymoon.
Scott Benner 51:56
Yeah, so that everybody can feel like they're a part of the of the series as it comes out. Right.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 52:02
Right. And because being diagnosed as an adult, you may actually have a more pronounced honeymoon, you may have more of a real honeymoon, depending on how you learn to manage things from the get go. So I think that's good there.
Scott Benner 52:19
And then we left flexibility school and exercising. So I, I would think, I'd like to put flexibility, at least in front of I think flexibility and stalking, right? Yeah, right before guilt and fears might be valuable. Correct. School and exercise. So now schools interesting, because I haven't read them yet. But I'm gonna guess that a lot of these questions were about, hey, how do I just send my kid to school five minutes after they have diabetes. So I don't know about that. And exercise is kind of the same thing. You see people get sedentary after they're diagnosed, because they don't know what to do.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 53:06
Well, I think school and exercise there's something some of these are as well, but they're more visible variables. School is a variable exercising is a variable. So
Unknown Speaker 53:25
choices, maybe,
Jennifer Smith, CDE 53:27
maybe right after school and exercise, or right after flexibility, put school and exercising. Because those both really do require some flexibility in what your typical management style would look like. So
Scott Benner 53:48
you see what I'm doing now? Um, yes, I'm gonna put them in an easier to look at. format. All right, well, this should keep us busy.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 54:03
Along with all the other things that you had us, like scheduled out for the rest of the year, right?
Scott Benner 54:09
I'm gonna, I'm going to, I'm going to put an end to ask Scott and Jenny because the thing about those are, that are great as they can just go somewhere. They're really valuable. They don't need to be attached to anything else. They're great standalone episodes. Right? So I'm going to so basically, at the moment I have I have about three ask Scott and Jenny episodes, a couple more defining episodes, so I'll put up the defining things till they're done. Then I'll put up I'll put up the ask Scott and Jenny's while we're recording these, and then when they ask Scott and Jenny's run out, we should have enough of these to get going. Okay, that makes sense. Fabulous. Right? Neither of us can get sick or get a life.
Jennifer Smith, CDE 54:56
I will promise to try not to get laryngitis again. Yes.
Scott Benner 55:00
Sometimes I look at I was, I was getting ready to go under for my, for my surgery. And I said to my wife, if something should happen, hire an editor. I have like 70 episodes of the podcast that need to go up. I was actually, like, concerned or worried no one would ever hear them, you know. So. Anyway, all right. Well, thank you. This was true. Yeah. I enjoyed listening to this kind of talk through the idea. We'll find I'll find out if I get notes like, could you guys not not record your meetings, please?
Jennifer Smith, CDE 55:37
Well, you know, but I think it's even if you put it up as a as the preliminary pro tip for honeymooning. This is what's coming. If you are newly diagnosed, we promise we are we are getting to some of these big questions that you really want to know sooner than later.
Scott Benner 55:59
910 I'm counting 1112 1314 2020. Okay, so yeah, even the way the podcast runs, usually your episodes go up like once a week on Friday. Okay, you're you're like you're the Friday girl. And but maybe I don't put episodes up on Thursdays maybe so that I can get them out more timely. Maybe I'll put them up Thursday, Friday for 10 weeks, and then we can get them up more quickly. Okay. Thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker 56:27
Yeah, absolutely.
Scott Benner 56:35
A huge thanks to Ian pen from Medtronic diabetes for sponsoring this episode of the podcast learn more about the impended in pen today.com forward slash juice box. Also like to thank us Med and remind you to go to us med.com forward slash juicebox. Or call 888-721-1514. To get your free benefits check. Take the T one D exchange survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. The very first episode of bold beginnings will begin in just one week on Friday. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
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Test your knowledge of episode 698
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#697 After Dark: Emily
Emily has type 1 diabetes and she is here to talk about her life.
You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.
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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.
Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 697 of the Juicebox Podcast.
On today's episode we're going to speak with Emily, she's an adult who has been living with type one diabetes for a large portion of her life. Today is the 26th installment of the afterdark series. And Emily is here today to share her very, very specific rememberings of her upbringing, and to talk about how they've colored her life with diabetes. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. If you have type one diabetes, and are a US resident, or are the caregiver of a US resident who has type one diabetes, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. Join their registry. Take the survey taking the survey takes fewer than 10 minutes. Your answers to simple questions help people living with type one diabetes T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. I swear it takes no time at all you can do it from your phone. After you get done listening to me head over, I guess maybe you could multitask and do it at the same time. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor, learn more and get started today@dexcom.com forward slash juice box it is that that very same link where you might find out that you're eligible for a free 10 day trial of the Dexcom G six. The show's also sponsored today by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod five. Find out if you're eligible for a free 30 day trial beyond the pod dash, learn more about the Omni pod Vive or get started with some Omni pod product at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. If you're in the market for an insulin pump, I highly recommend it.
Emily 2:19
Hi, my name is Emily and I was diagnosed a type one diabetic when I was 10 years old. How old are you now? I'm 41. I mean, sorry, I was 41 years ago. So I'm 52 You're
Scott Benner 2:32
52? Do you know Emily? And by the way, you'd have no way of knowing this, that I interviewed someone yesterday. And today was there 52nd birthday. Oh, that's interesting. And at the same time only interesting to me, really. So now that I've shared it with everybody else. I was amused by it. And it I realized and quickly it has nothing to do with the podcast. So let's just keep moving.
Emily 2:53
Well, all the best people are born in the first quarter of 1970. I have three of my closest friends. were all born in the first quarter. So we get together each year for fun and games, usually in Oakland.
Scott Benner 3:11
What happens in Oakland is it isn't Oh, that's
Emily 3:13
just sort of the meeting point. I have a friend who lives in Oakland proper. And then another who lives in Danville and another who lives in Turlock, which is sort of central California.
Scott Benner 3:26
If anybody listening wants to kidnap your friends, they're a third of the way to it. So
Emily 3:32
I don't think these women will let themselves be taken.
Scott Benner 3:36
Well, oh, you're saying come get us. It isn't gonna work out for you. I gotcha. Exactly. Exactly. That's excellent. So okay, so diagnosed. 10 years old. Is that right? Yes. In the 80s. The early 80s. Yes. And anybody else in your family have diabetes?
Emily 3:54
Nope. I was the first one. Although my sister who was five years older than me, four years older than me, was diagnosed. That 10 years later, when she was in college.
Scott Benner 4:09
Interesting. So you in the early 80s, your sister in the early 90s? Yes, you as a 10 year old her is more like an 1819 20 year old. Yep. Okay, are you guys closer, you're pretty far apart in age. It sounds like, um, well,
Emily 4:24
we were always fighting. There's third oldest sister. And so she and I were more close because she sort of took me under her wing and would recommend, Oh, I like reading this book when I was your age, that kind of thing. Whereas my middle sister and I were too close. Where we actually would end up at that same school like we are at the same high school for two years and that he hated having to give me a ride around town and stuff like that.
Scott Benner 4:59
That sucks. If I would have just said, Look, if you want a car, you drive Emily. And that's that anybody makes a face no more car. That's the end of it.
Emily 5:07
Right? Yes. You met my mother apparently.
Scott Benner 5:11
That's maybe why she didn't enjoy driving you around. So okay, so you're diagnosed me, you're gonna have diabetes for a decade before your sister dies. There's no other diabetes in the family. What was it like having type one as a 10 year old back in the early 80s?
Emily 5:27
Well, it was all a big mystery. And I beginning to suspect it was a mystery to every doctor I ever had. Because we got we took a couple classes and stuff like that. But my parents were never, they never understood sort of what first of all, I was testing my urine with a test tube and, you know, I droppers and little pills that turns certain colors. And so you had a very wide range of what your color might mean, if it was dark blue, then you were really low or had been, you know, five hours ago. It was never explained to me the timeframe between when I tested my urine. And when that low had actually happened. Does that make sense?
Scott Benner 6:20
Yeah, you don't know. There's no context for you between the test and the event.
Emily 6:25
Right. And they never bothered to explain it to us. And my parents never realized. They don't know how they could have realized that they would be punishing me for something that I had done five hours ago and had no idea I was doing. So I was running high all the time. Simply because, you know, I had never learned any portion management because that was not in the cards in the early 80s for 10 year old. And so I just feel like every single piece of knowledge that we got that then was wrong and just set me up for failure. Yeah.
Scott Benner 7:07
Were you using early 80s? We're using animal insulin or we're using regular mph.
Emily 7:14
Yes, like for the first couple months, it was beef and then we got brand new pork insulin for a while and then I went to Cuba log insulin and mph or human. Insulin, probably starting in college, maybe?
Scott Benner 7:35
Okay. Oh, a lot a decade. Yeah, yeah. All right.
Emily 7:40
Well, I went to college when I was 17. So seven years. Look at
Scott Benner 7:43
you, smarty. So, so basically, you're shooting insulin in the morning, and at dinnertime. And, and you're, I mean, you know, I've never asked anybody this, but you get the pee in the test tube the way I assume right? You just hold it under yourself.
Emily 8:01
You get this hat. I don't know if well, you're if if you're a woman, and you go into the hospital, and they need to collect your pee, they give you this what looks like a plastic hat that you put underneath the seat in the toilet, and then you pee into that. And then you take out
a sample eyedropper and you take out the sample. So then you have this plastic head that's always in your
Scott Benner 8:28
bathroom. I was gonna say it's the plastic cats were usable, right?
Emily 8:32
Yes, but it still got gross. Even when you clean them.
Scott Benner 8:36
Anything up on Emily? I don't know. Yeah, it's a gross factor at some point. So you're basically using this thing, taking out the sample, dumping out the rest of it, rinsing it off putting it I imagine it starts not even getting put away. Right? It's just leaning on the wall in the bathroom or something like that.
Emily 8:51
Oh, yeah. It never had a place to be put away. It was always just stuck in a corner. Yeah. Have you ever
Scott Benner 8:55
noticed when they build houses? They don't think where would we put a plastic cat if somebody needed the bathroom?
Emily 9:01
Yeah. It's they're still not building them in there. i It's not fair.
Scott Benner 9:06
So it's still not out? Yeah, gosh, I mean, even that alone has got to be arduous as a young child, right? Just, yes, I drudgery.
Emily 9:17
Yeah. And the only time I was doing it was in the morning or at night. You know, I was only testing myself. At times when my blood sugar's or, you know, my blood urine. My urine sugars would be high, you know, like after I've eaten dinner.
Scott Benner 9:36
So you have a real chance for this test to come out looking positive anyway, because you're probably not using enough insulin. You don't have any idea about food or nutrition. So you're just basically testing at the highest points of the day. And then exactly right. Your parents see a color and get mad at you. Yes.
Emily 9:53
And so it took me 25 years to start. Seeing a blood test as being just information that I'm being given and not a judgment on what kind of person I am. Yeah. And it's still, I'll still fall back into that. Sometimes I just recently got a Dexcom. And I mean, I just got it. I'm on my second transverse.
Scott Benner 10:26
Second sensor, you're less than 20 days with it. Exactly. Wow. Okay.
Emily 10:31
And so and it's, it's driving me crazy, because I will see, you know, it tells you you're going up, you're at 190. And you're going up, and I'll be like, no, okay, I have to wait. I've taken my insulin I've eaten not do I have to wait for it to calm down and then I can't, then I'll be like, I'll take two, two units of insulin straight to get it down. But of course, that doesn't show up for another hour. And by then, I haven't gotten the hang of it yet. It gets very saddening.
Scott Benner 11:02
Well, so first of all, I know exactly what you're talking about. Because when you're presented with the data in a new way, it feels like starting over. Because even if you weren't doing it, you know, doing it doing diabetes, the way you were hoping to prior to that you were at least probably in a rhythm. Like you did it the way you did it. And it's, you know, what, what's expected happens, etc. And then you get a whole new set of data. And you're like, Oh, like this is I'm really bad at this is how it feels. I mean, they felt like that way to me, at least when I saw Dexcom for the first time. Yeah, you're making me think that Dexcom should make an ad where they're like, Dexcom better than a plastic hat to PN?
Emily 11:44
Yeah, they should
Scott Benner 11:45
capture the 60 year old market. No problem. People would be like, Oh, they know about the plastic cat. Yeah. So so. Are you? Well, it sounds like you're not. But I would say that. The first hump you have to get over is to not see the data as like a report card, but just see it, like big picture, step back from it. Don't look at it minute to minute hour, look at it over 24 hours. So you can kind of get a feeling for like, Is my Basal right. You know, like, that's where I would start. Because, yeah, you know,
Emily 12:20
I don't even have enough. I have to my endocrinologist appointment is hopefully coming up soon. They haven't actually called me back to make the appointment yet, but hopefully, they'll be able to give me more information because I don't really know what I kind of know what Basil is, but I don't know. How to cook with that. I mean, no,
Scott Benner 12:48
no, I do. I was just gonna say you are from a time period of diabetes where no one let you adjust your your insulin, right? Yep. Yeah, you just go to the doctor and they tell you like, Oh, we're gonna make it. We're gonna make it eight now. Like, that's pretty much it. You go. Okay, that number is eight now. And you just go with it. What is your agency's been like over your life?
Emily 13:10
Oh, I'll tell you a story. I was seeing this diabetic nurse practitioner. And she said, You know, I think my last test had been at like 9.2 or something. So she says, Would you like to try this? drug? It's not. It's for type two diabetics. It's a shot. You take it when you take your insulin. And it's supposed to really help with control. And I'm like, sure. Okay. And so I took it for three months. And what it did was it made me so nauseous. I never ate. I was constantly throwing up. I why I stuck with it for so long. I don't know. But my blood sugar numbers were pretty great. And so then I went in, and I told her that I wanted to get off of it because I was literally throwing up every day. And she's like, Oh, okay, well, your numbers are really good. You're down to 6.5, which is ideal. And so she tried to talk me into staying on it because I wasn't eating and so I had lost all this weight. And my numbers were down.
Scott Benner 14:30
That's not a perfect I can't believe I can't believe that ideal was the word that was used because it's not ideal if you vomit constantly and that's why you lose weight and why you can't write why your agency is lower because you're not eating and there's no food your system. Exactly.
Emily 14:44
How can I even got a little certificate in the mail saying your agency is perfect well done, and they spelled my name wrong. I don't like your My name is right there like it's in the list.
Scott Benner 14:58
So Emily asked her Hearing that you were vomiting your way to a six a one C on some medication that clearly did not jive with your body. Well, they sent you a certificate of achievement in the mail and spelled your name wrong. Yes. Well, that's that's a copay well spent for you. Did you keep taking it? Or did you stop?
Emily 15:19
I stopped? Yeah.
Scott Benner 15:21
I have to tell you I would not. It's an interesting thing, that generational thing with diabetes because if somebody gave my daughter something, and it made her throw up, I'd stop giving it to her immediately. Like, I wouldn't care what they said. You know what I mean? But it's interesting that you persevered with it, how long did you do it for?
So I just checked out my link dexcom.com forward slash juice box, and somebody at Dexcom has spruced it all up. Thank you. Dexcom. It looks fresh and new. I was immediately greeted by a handsome photo of Nick Jonas, who, as you may know, has type one diabetes. After I swooned for a moment, I scrolled down, who do I see Miss Patti LaBelle, Patti LaBelle, seeing her gave me a new attitude, if you know what I mean. Here's the point. If you're using insulin, type one or type two, the Dexcom G sex is going to be a friend for you, you're going to be able to see your diabetes as it's happening. That's the speed, direction and number of your blood sugar. Is it 89? Is it 120? Is it 150? Is it 240? Is that rising? Is it falling? Is it rising quickly? Is it rising slowly, etc, etc. So on and so forth, so forth, so forth. Speed direction number, you see that on the Dexcom receiver if you like or you can see it on your supported iPhone or Android device, this is a big deal. To see your blood sugar without a finger stick to see it in real time to be able to set alarms and alerts. I want to know when my blood sugar goes under 80. No problem, you can get that you want to know when it goes under 60 you can get that you want to you want to know when it rises above 121 4150 to 100. Wherever you set those alerts. The Dexcom is gonna give you the little beep beep and let you know when it's happening. On top on top, on top of all these alerts and alarms, the Dexcom also allows you to share your data with up to 10 people if you'd like that means your kid could be at school and 10 family members. I mean, you probably don't know 10 People but I mean, you know I'm saying it could be up to 10 Could be your school nurse. It could be your husband or wife, a sibling, a friend an adult could have their friends looking up to 10 people can take a look at your Dexcom right on their phone if they like. Head over there today. dexcom.com forward slash juice box see Nick Jonas's smiling face. Learn more about the Dexcom G six, find out if you're eligible for that free 10 day trial of the Dexcom g six@dexcom.com. Forward slash juice box. On the pod is a tubeless insulin pump. It's a tubeless insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing for like 14 years now. been wonderful. She's had it on every day. You can check it out and try it for yourself. And on the pod.com forward slash juice box. Here's what you may be eligible, you'd be good. But I can't talk. Here's what you may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash. That's crazy enough. You can also head over and learn more about the new Omni pod five. That's an algorithm based system that makes dosing decisions for you in conjunction with your Dexcom G six. Are you kidding me? The future is now baby and it's here. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox Get started today, learn more contact Omni pod and say hey, you know I'd like to try Okay, get to trial. He even think they'll send you out a like a little we haven't talked about this in a while. But I think they still do this. You can get a single pod like a dummy pod doesn't actually work. Just if you want to try it on aware to get a vibe for how it feels. All of this is at your fingertips. The internet is at your fingertips, you use your fingertips that's at your keyboard, and then you type on it. The va.com forward slash juicebox if you're looking for an insulin pump, in my opinion, you should look at the Dexcom. If you don't like it, it's cool. But I mean a free 30 day trial gives you plenty of time to figure it out. omnipod.com forward slash juicebox dexcom.com forward slash juice box links in the show notes of the audio player you're listening in right now. And links at juicebox podcast.com. Let's get back to Emily. And trust me. There's a lot more to talk about with Emily. Three months. No kidding.
Emily 19:48
And well. I would call her and tell her that I'm throwing up she's like well try staying with a little longer. It may just be taking you a while to get used to it. So I kept thinking it's not like I called her every week. She kept telling me to take it. Yeah. But you know, after the first week, she said, well take it a little longer see if you still have it. And I just kept thinking, well, maybe next week, it'll get better. What was the drug? I wish I could remember the name as long ago, right? It's i It's one of the ones that's has a commercial on it now. But every time I tried to look for that, like, they didn't give me the they gave me the off brand.
Scott Benner 20:25
Oh, you were using a generic of it? Yeah. And they didn't try. They didn't even try moving into the drug. Just generic only.
Emily 20:36
Oh, that well, that was Walgreens fault.
Scott Benner 20:39
You have it the doctor can say no generic substitutes. I'm saying like the doctor never stepped up. Did the doctor know you were taking the generic? Do you think
Emily 20:49
the Nurse Practice Nurse Practitioner was the only one I was seeing. And I honestly didn't, it didn't occur to me that it would matter.
Scott Benner 20:57
Gotcha. Might not have I'm just saying I was wondering if that was the that would have been the first thing I said if I was the doctor. So I was wondering if it got said to you. Alright, so. So this is pretty much your setup, like this is how it's going. You're Are you your Dexcom and MDI are Dexcom in a pump.
Emily 21:16
MDI MDI,
Scott Benner 21:18
would you ever use a pump,
Emily 21:20
my doctor keeps trying to get me to take a pump. But my I had a Dexcom, about 10 years ago. And I had a very bad experience with it, which I'm not having this time around. But it was with the the insert, I don't remember the name of the three pieces. But the the piece that you carry around with you, as opposed to the recipient,
Scott Benner 21:49
I'm sorry, the central know the receiver, the part that you carry to look at your numbers on the receiver, right? The receiver
Emily 21:56
was set so that it would be but certain times you couldn't change the beeps. And it was just constantly beeping. And I got so frustrated, because it would wake me up for no reason, if you like your blood sugar is on its way up, like I know. And I couldn't turn it off. And so I just said, No, I'm not going to do that anymore.
Scott Benner 22:18
Emily, you have gotten no help. Because those alarms are custom are customizable. You can change them.
Emily 22:24
Well, the one I'm on now I'm on the GS six, you can customize it except for what it deems is your lowest low
Scott Benner 22:31
5050 BMC. Yeah,
Emily 22:35
I consistently wake up at night, well, before I was on it, I consistently would wake up with my blood sugar being in the 30s. And I'd be pretty much coherent. And I would just get up and I'd eat something and I'd go back to bed.
Scott Benner 22:52
So, so Emily, there's a lot going on here, you are about to learn a lot with this Dexcom I tell you, first of all, please stick with it. Like unlike the drug that made you vomit, I think you're gonna have a good outcome with this. I stick with it because it sounds to me like you are using insulin in a way that is making you low at times. You don't need to be that I mean, 30 is just, I mean, 30 is a pretty big mistake somewhere. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if it's with your meal or with your Basal insulin like I couldn't possibly tell you from here. But have you listened to the Pro Tip series of the podcast?
Emily 23:31
A couple. A lot of them. A lot of the the podcasts I've listened to just happen to be about things that don't really apply to me. At least I haven't I haven't heard ones that apply to me yet. But I, I listen to a lot of different kinds of podcasts. So I have to admit that I don't listen to yours on a regular
Scott Benner 23:58
route. So I'm gonna send you a specific list of management ones that might help you get your Basal insulin dialed in, and then give you ways to think about giving yourself insulin at mealtime. Because Because you shouldn't be at 30 like and I don't think you have to be you know, so I think somebody needs to help you a little bit and get you get you going in the right direction.
Emily 24:22
Well, I can tell you that. Now I'm I'm on a human log and Lantis at least four shots today. Because the Lantis is I use a pen so the Lantis is separate. And what I will tend to do is I'll be hungry, so I'll try to figure out how many cards I'm going to take. And I was given at one point, the ratio that I'm supposed to use. And so I'll figure out the carbs. And then I'll take my insulin and then I'll end up about halfway through getting or, like I have a really small stomach. And so I never finish a meal. And so the hardest part for me is figuring out how much I think I'm going to eat versus how much I do eat. And when I should be taking my insulin, so they said, Well tried take your insulin afterwards. And so then I do that
Scott Benner 25:23
not okay. So, again, the input, the information that people come back at you at is interesting, where they skip over the common sense and go right to the dumb idea. I've seen that this has now happened twice in your stories. It happened throughout my life, right? So yeah, so here's, here's a thought, if you don't know how much you're going to eat, why don't you Bolus half of it as a Pre-Bolus? And then if you finish it, put the rest of it in. Like you're not afraid of the needle. I mean, you've had years you don't get about, oh, I just cursed. You don't care about injecting? I imagine, right? Yeah, no, right. So do half upfront, give yourself a reasonable do you Pre-Bolus your meals at all?
Emily 26:03
You mean, take my insulin before I
Scott Benner 26:05
yeah, like but yeah, you do. But like 15 minutes, five minutes? How long do you do?
Emily 26:12
It's usually about five minutes. Okay?
Scott Benner 26:15
There's a whole world out there you don't know about I'm excited. I'm excited to send you these episodes. I'm gonna list them at the end of your episodes so people can hear them. But when we get off, I'm going to just send you an email with a list. Okay. Okay. All right. And I think that you'll be able to get your IP. So, Emily, this is interesting. For me, I didn't realize we were going to talk about this before we talked about the other thing. So in my mind, everything about type one diabetes is how you use insulin. And everything about the insulin is the timing and the amount, meaning you need to use the right amount at the right time. That can mean your Basal insulin Volantis for you. And that can mean your mealtime insulin. Both things need to be measured and used properly. So the first thing you're going to kind of work on is getting your Lantis, right. And your Lantis should be holding your blood sugar stable at a number, whatever your number is that you want. Like if you want to be 90 all the time, if that's your goal, if you want to be 120 all the time, if that's your goal, like whatever your goal is, there's an amount of Lantis that you can take that away from meals away from meal insulin, and away from exercise. Your Atlanta should hold you with that number. You should have enough of it in there to hold you steady. You should think of the Lantis as sort of like a giant unseen force standing over your top of your blood sugar pushing down with its palms, holding your blood sugar stable at a number not letting it rise up past that. That's its job. Now once you have that, right, you need to move on to understanding how to polish your meals right.
Emily 27:54
Did you say pushing down with its paws?
Scott Benner 27:57
With its palms? I'm sorry? Oh, yeah. Just like try to imagine Lantus being a giant. I don't know, like a god. Okay, well, I'd
Emily 28:05
like to think of it as a giant bear now.
Scott Benner 28:07
Okay, fine. I'm with you. All right, I thought I heard pause. And we I'm going with you. And this is a bear. Okay, it's a bear 10 times the size of you. And your blood sugar is this. I don't know, unforeseen ocean that's trying to float up too high. And the bear is just pushing it down, pushing it down, pushing it down, but not too far, just keeping it where it wants to be. That's what your Basal job is. It's to hold you stable at a number. Okay. And then once you do that, that's sort of not a variable anymore for you. Because you know, your Lantis is set up well and doing its job. And then you come along and look at your meal and say, Alright, this meals, 30 carbs, and you look at your insulin to carb ratio, you put your insulin in, in enough time. I call this a Pre-Bolus. I think it's a pretty common phrase write in enough time so that when the action of the insulin starts to work on your blood sugar at the same time, or very similar timing, the food starts to work as well. So think of the meal as a tug of war. So on one side of the rope, put the insulin and on the other side of the rope, put your your food. Now, if you inject your insulin and begin to eat right away, the insulin is not going to start working for probably 1520 minutes, maybe if you're lucky. And then it's not going to be at full power probably for 30 minutes, like when do you usually see a peak like 45 minutes maybe? Right and then, but the food hits you much quicker than that. So now you've put the insulin in, you've started the timer on the insulin and you've told the food go ahead and pull on the rope. While the food is now has a huge head start it's pulling on that tug of war rope and that flag is going more and more on the on the food side and your blood sugar is getting higher and higher. And you're seeing that now for the first time in your life. because you're really wearing a Dexcom. So even if you start eating at a 90 blood sugar, you put in the food you put in the insulin 10 minutes later, the your 90 is 100, then all of a sudden it's 105, then the arrow flips up diagonal, now it's 110 115 121 25. And then the arrow flip straight up, this sounds familiar, right, and then your blood, your blood sugar starts flying up. And now it's, you know, 30 minutes later, your blood sugar is 190. And the insulin is really kind of feeling itself now and it's at full, it's at, it's more full power, and it starts to pull down. So now the insulin is finally pulling on that rope. And then that arrow goes from straight up to diagonal up to level, because that are, if you can think of the insolence got a hold of that rope, and it's finally pulling back, and it's pulling that arrow back around. But at this point, you only gave yourself insulin for the food, with a 90 blood sugar as your math. But now your blood sugar is 190. There's momentum on the side of the of the blood sugar on the side of the food. This insulin you've used is not nearly enough. And that's one thing that happens to you. The other thing that happens to you, I bet is that that whole process happens, but you don't finish your meal, and then the food, then the insulin comes online overwhelms the number and crashes you back down again, Does that all make like sound like stuff that's happened to you?
Emily 31:22
It's like, you're reading my pancreas,
Scott Benner 31:26
I have to tell you, those other podcasts you listen to, are gonna have to go on the back burner for a while I'm late because we are going to get you straightened out. Okay. So
Emily 31:35
let's see. That's the whole reason I wanted to talk here because my therapist said, you know, the whole way you're dealing with everything as far as diabetes in chronic pain and stuff has to go back to the grief that you've dealt with. Since you were 10. And on, tell me about it. And, you know, my grief. Does a grief when you're diagnosed as a diabetic, because even if you don't understand it, you do understand that you no longer get to eat as many double stuff Oreos as you want. There's a loss there. There's a, you know, a loss about, well, now I have to start thinking about everything I'm gonna do for the next hour, day, week, month, year, I have to sort of plan everything out, like my friends make fun of me, because I'm one of those people who has a purse that has something for every possible thing that could happen. Because that's what diabetics have to do.
Scott Benner 32:45
Well, Emily, not that people with diabetes don't need to be prepared. But I'm going to assert that it's more of what you have to do than what some people have to do. So my daughter is 17. She's had diabetes, and she was to yesterday afternoon, she came home from school at one o'clock. She's a senior and she's got an early release. They apparently are not teaching them anything in her last year. And she comes home and hurt her day begins basically her personal day and we knew my daughter had plans to go out with her friends that like they were going to go to dinner. So my daughter comes home. She had eaten something at school, we had not spoken to her about it. She had given herself a little too much insulin. So while she was getting ready, she took care of that with a little bit of juice, got herself at about a 90 blood sugar, took a shower, put her makeup on and got dressed. Her friend came and picked her up, they drove to a friend's house. Three, four hours later, they were having dinner. They ate at a restaurant from like six to 730 they went back to the friend's house, they hung out all night did a sleepover and she walked back in the door today at 10am. I did not speak to my daughter since she left the house yesterday at three or three I think maybe two and I'm going to pull up her her Dexcom in front of me right now. Okay. And over the last 24 hours after my daughter fixed the little low that happened when she came home from school, which was about 65 her blood sugar is for a number of hours from three o'clock until 630. Her blood sugar was 88 to 91. And then it looks like she missed a little bit on her dinner. And she had a spike but she spiked to 140 and that only lasted for about a half an hour. And then over the next 738 3930 She came back down. She looks like she caught it with a little snack. The drop around nine o'clock, and then she leveled out. And by 10 o'clock she was 75 and for the next 12 hours she was basically between 85 Have and at one point she got to 110. And that's a pump and an algorithm and a CGM working together along with her knowing how to Bolus for her meals, and how to fix her low blood sugars without causing a high one. That's all she knows how to do. She fixed her low without causing a high, she Bolus for her meal. And other than that she's wearing an algorithm. She's wearing it on the pod that's running an algorithm. And it is giving her insulin and taking it away and keeping her basil exactly where she needs it to be. That is a world you could easily live in. It is not that hard to get involved. If you have insurance, it'll cover a deck sound, you can get a pump, you know? Or you can or you can learn. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step on you. But where you could learn to do it with MDR? There are plenty of people who do.
Emily 35:49
Yeah, I think I mean, I was really burned at the beginning with the the lack of information I got, and then I just I have a complete mistrust of doctors. I stay away from them as much as I can. Because I've never had a doctor really tell me anything particularly useful. When I was 13, I passed my first kidney stone, although that's not what I thought it was. I stayed home because I thought I had cramps. And then I was passing the kidney stone which have you ever passed a kidney stone? My wife has? I have not? Yeah, they're really horrible. Especially without pain medication. And sorry, I'm Flemmi.
Scott Benner 36:40
You're fine. I have an edit thing later, I'll listen back to this, no one will ever even know you cough. Don't worry about
Emily 36:45
okay. You can change this to say I'm Flemish, if you want. And so I called my mom at work. And I said, Mom, you have to take me to the doctor, I'm in so much pain. I'm pretty sure this is because I'm a bad diabetic, I'll do whatever you want. Just get this pain to stop. So she didn't it didn't occur to her that it was a kidney stone. It didn't occur to anybody that it was a kidney stone. They got me to the doctor, the doctor said, Well, have you been testing your blood because by now, blood testing had come out where you did these big strips, and you had to put like, half a gallon of blood on it. And then it would show you a color scheme. And I didn't do those because I didn't. I just didn't want to. I had sort of no one ever explained to me how that would be any more helpful than the urinalysis test. So I get to the doctor, and I'm still in a lot of pain. And he says, Well, what are your last blood sugar has been? I'm like, I don't know, I haven't tested on and he's like, why haven't you tested them? And I said, because I can I feel I can feel if my blood sugar is gonna go low. And he's he slams his fist down on his desk, and screams at me. Sorry, you're fine. And to a 13 year old, right? Like he went all he got credit for dinero in my face. And so I left that never getting help for my kidney stone, which I then eventually just passed.
Scott Benner 38:26
They didn't they just let you leave the hospital. They had me leave the hospital? Because you didn't test your blood sugar. They didn't check on the pain. Yeah. Emily, where did you grow up?
Emily 38:38
Northern California.
Scott Benner 38:40
Wow. Um, listen, let me say something to you. I didn't think this was gonna go this way. But I am sorry for all of the bad information that you have gotten over the decades. But I wanted to tell you that, that doesn't exist anymore. If you don't want it to the information is easy to come by now. It's literally in that I'm gonna give you basically, I don't know, 15 episodes of this podcast, if you listen through them, and marginally understand what you're listening to your agency will be in the sexes. It's it's the technology is so much different. But I think for you, if faced with that information, I think the 40 years of somebody or everybody may be letting you down. You just feel like maybe it's not possible, or is it? Or do you feel like it's too late because it's not too late. And it's incredibly possible? Like you should go into my private Facebook group and see that there are 20,000 people in there who are all either learning or doing and their blood sugars are not the way you describe. They are not living lives the way you think it has to be. Because you have diabetes. You just grew up in a bad time with type one, but you're still here and you're young, and it doesn't need to be like that anymore.
Emily 39:59
Well, I Appreciate that, and I will listen to the podcasts. Here's the kind of thing that I grew up with. I was diagnosed in December of 1980. And I turned 11, the next month in January, and we got a diabetes forecast magazine. Does anybody still get that?
Scott Benner 40:23
I don't know. But I was in at once. Oh, congratulations. I don't I didn't feel that exciting.
Emily 40:30
I had my doubts about this whole diabetes thing. When I saw there was a cover article that had the headline, I'm a diabetic, or maybe it was my daughter was just diagnosed diabetic. Can I still get a Christmas tree? Wyatt. That's what I said. And I, I it confused me. I'm like, why wouldn't we? Why wouldn't you get in? I knew enough about diabetes to know that Christmas trees have nothing to do with diabetes. And so anything I ever saw was either super, super scary. make no sense at all, or was super tweet like that? Just the sort of not
Scott Benner 41:18
helpful? Yeah. Exactly. The diabetes space is full. Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't do. So I'm just telling you there's a it's timing and amount, use the right amount of insulin at the right time. Your Basal right, you'll learn to Pre-Bolus for foods, you'll learn the difference between different foods glycemic index and, and load just meaning that, you know, 10 carbs of watermelons not going to impact your blood sugar the same way 10 carbs of white rice will. And then you stay flexible after that. And bunch of other stuff. It's a 681 say just good basil. Get your Pre-Bolus together understand how much insulin things need. That's pretty much it. Like there's not much more. I mean, listen, that's an unfair statement. There's a lot more to it. But that's the base of the that's the base of the building right there. You got to get that right. And then after you get that, right, the rest is a learning experience that you'll actually have time to learn because your experiences won't be so horrible. Like, you know what I mean? Like there's a difference between something going wrong and your blood sugar spiking to 140 which is what I described with my daughter's dinner last night, and something going wrong and you waking up in the middle of the night your blood sugar's 30. Like one of those things is an emergent disaster. And one of those is like, Oh, I got my Bolus a little wrong here. You know, so like, when you're constantly in the disaster, you can't see the lessons. You only mean like when you're running from the from the bear through the woods, in the woods or on fire? That's not the time to think the forest is a deforestation probably caused this, you know, like, this is the time to think I gotta run from the bear and the end The woods are on fire. I don't want to burn down. You're always constantly flight or fight, I would imagine. Yeah. And you need, you need to get you into a more calm place where you can actually watch something happen and say to yourself, oh, Emily, hmm, I Pre-Bolus 10 minutes here, and I spiked a little bit and then didn't get low later. I bet if I changed that Pre-Bolus to 15 minutes for this meal, the spike wouldn't happen. And I wouldn't get low like you can be a little more thoughtful about it when you're not running for your life.
Emily 43:27
Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, I think part of the reason I react the way I do to pretty much any sort of problem is, you know, my basically, I was diagnosed diabetic when I was 10. My dad died when I was 12. And so my fight or flight reaction is stuck at that age. So I feel like I don't quite under you know that. It's still a 10 year old me who was trying to fight with this diabetic stuff. Yeah. And is just so shocked. You know, I thought I was gonna die. My whole family joke that I would be the first one to die because of the diabetes.
Scott Benner 44:12
bunch of comedians who grew up with their Emily. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Emily 44:15
And so the fact that I've made it to 52 is so shocking to 10 year old me.
Scott Benner 44:23
Well, I'd start taking that as a sign if I was who am I? Am I dumb? I forget what those people said. And I'd get busy living. You know what I mean? There's a lot here.
Emily 44:37
The diabetes hasn't stopped me from doing anything except my mom sat me down. When I was in high school and said, you realize that you're going to have to have a job. The minute you get out of college because you need to have health insurance for the rest of your life. And she explained to me what insurance will do you know, once you get off insurance now this is a preexisting condition and you can't get on insurance again. Unless you have a job that recognizes you know that we'll give you health insurance. And then for six months, you're paying, you know, millions of dollars for your insulin, even though back then it wasn't as expensive as it is now.
Scott Benner 45:23
Yeah, device, get a job have insurance. I think that's valuable advice for a person that was type on.
Emily 45:27
Yeah, no, I'm really glad I know it. But having to do that kept me from doing what I really wanted to do. Like I ended up. It took me five years to graduate from college because I had to have a full time job as well. Because my mom stopped supporting me, and which was fine. I was an adult. But then, I had to start temping so I could get insurance. And I wasn't able to do I wanted to move to New York and become a comedy writer.
Scott Benner 46:04
And you got a job to make sure you had health insurance.
Emily 46:08
Yeah. Instead, I started temping at a just marketing company. In San Fran, well, I had a whole bunch of temp jobs. And I started working for this marketing company. And that got me into databases. And now I do it stuff, which I mean, I'm okay at and I guess it's okay. But I sure would rather be
Scott Benner 46:31
doing something different, or at least at least trying the thing you were hoping to do. Yeah. Well, you talked in your note to me about grief. And you said that obviously being diagnosed was hard. And then your father passing soon after was hard. Did it keep coming after there? Or were there two were these two things just very present with you constantly growing up?
Emily 46:54
Well, my family didn't know the rest of my family. My mom and my two other sisters didn't know how to grieve. My dad's loss it so it got buried under about, you know, 15 miles of crap. And my mom ended up like, right when I felt I needed her most let alone my other sisters. My I was 12, my middle sister was 16. And my eldest sister was 90, and hang on a second. Okay. Because my mom wasn't expecting this, I think she sort of reevaluated her life, and realize that she was going to start spending her life for herself and not for her children. And she found this friend who was 12 years younger than her and they just started, you know, running off on trips and doing things like that. And I don't actually have a problem with her having done that. But she didn't allow us to grieve. She just said, Okay, move on with your life. I'm moving on with my life. And, you know, I barely saw my mother. Well, I wouldn't say barely. But she, she wasn't around as much as say, my friend's moms. And the last conversation that I remember having with my father was one that he was accusing me of, because my blood sugars when I did test them were high. He, he had the memory of my urinalysis being high, he had decided that I somehow had found a way to go to 711 and buy candy and I had it hidden somewhere in the house, which was not true. And that was the last interaction. I remember having with him before he died. How did he pass? He had a heart attack. He was a US only 49. And he was a five pack a day smoker, meat and potatoes guy, so it's not a shock.
Scott Benner 49:08
Certainly drinking or drugs going on in the house with your parents? No, no. Interesting. Okay, so your dad dies, your mom flips out. Do you remember your mom being a panic before your dad died or to just really get to her?
Emily 49:21
I think she didn't know how to deal with it. My entire extended family I've talked to like, I'm really close with my cousin. And she talks about how her family you know, our whole extended family doesn't know how to grieve. You just kind of you're supposed to push things down. The only the only thing you're allowed to do at family functions pretty much is laugh. We're all very happy, goofy and not recognizing the problems that everybody has. Which has caused several divorces and just weird
Scott Benner 49:58
things not going well. Right. And for you, the for you. I mean, let's be honest. Right? You feel abandoned?
Emily 50:06
Right? Yeah. Even though I mean, I wasn't really abandoned. It just felt like that.
Scott Benner 50:10
Yeah. And well, you don't have to stick up for anybody I understand what we're talking about. Don't worry. I know they didn't leave you on purpose. But I'm saying you the end result is you feel abandoned. Your dad left, he died, your mom left, she kind of went and took care of herself. And you may she might have physically been there, but she wasn't helping you. And you were only 12 years old at that point. Right. Right. Yeah. And so you grew up 1213 1415 1617? Probably with your older sister helping you more than anything else, then you go off to college. In the middle of being at college, your mom lets you know she's not paying for you anymore. Right? Right. Yeah. So that's an abandoned feels. That'll make you feel abandoned as well. And then you abandoned your dreams to take care of your diabetes. Right? So you hate diabetes. And you're probably not thrilled with your mom. But she didn't leave you leave you so I'm assuming you write that off in your head. Are you mad at your dad?
Emily 51:12
I'm getting there. Now. I romanticized him for a long time. But I took it all out on my mom, because she was the one that was there. And she talked about being abandoned by your mom. She drove me I went to UC Santa Barbara. And so she drove from the Bay Area down to UC Santa Barbara. And for some reason, she had decided that she was just going to turn it's like six hours, six and a half hours, right. And she decided she was going to do the drive all in one day. So we got up super early. Everything was already packed, drove down there. unloaded my stuff. And then I turned as I put the last box down, I turned around, she was already in the car, starting it up and driving away. And she yelled out the window. Right when you get work.
Scott Benner 52:03
Were you guys broke?
Emily 52:05
No. Well, okay. i We there were more money problems. And she led on she just didn't tell me. Right. So you know, if she had told me if she had told us we could have
Scott Benner 52:17
you know, understood maybe? Yeah. Was your mom a nice person?
Emily 52:24
Absolutely. Yeah, she was a nurse. That's why they caught my diabetes super early, because I started showing symptoms over Thanksgiving, and then was in the hospital by the second week of December. So I still don't have knock on wood. Very many. You know, I've never been gone into ketoacidosis. As far as I know. Okay. Certainly never been hospitalized for it. I by optic nerve is still perfect. My kidney values are fine, except for the stones. I don't have you know, I don't have all the things that are supposed to happen. You haven't
Scott Benner 53:17
had any you haven't any, like ill effects from diabetes yet.
Emily 53:21
Yeah, that I would have expect to happen by now, given the fact that I haven't even bothered to really pay attention.
Scott Benner 53:29
When did you start to pay attention? When did you actually start testing your blood sugar?
Emily 53:35
In 1999, I moved up into the Pacific Northwest and saw a doctor and they said you know there's much better insulins that you could be on there's there's much better things that you could start doing. And so they gave me a book blood testing monitor, whose name I'm forgetting off the top of my head. It's the freestyle freedom like where you can have alternative blood testing sites. So I started using my forearm rather than my fingers because I could never handle the fingers. Okay. And so once I could do that, I started testing my blood more.
Scott Benner 54:24
So Mm hmm. Basically, when 18 years without testing your blood sugar, and then I getting that timing right about 18 years. 81 Yeah, I
Emily 54:34
was 3020 years.
Scott Benner 54:36
20 years. Okay, that's 20 years you didn't test. And then for the last, you know, the last chunk here, you've been paying more attention. So in the last 20 years, have your agency still been in the nines?
Emily 54:49
Um, the mid 80s. Low 90s.
Scott Benner 54:54
How much effort do you put into diabetes every day? Not a lot. Not a lot. Okay. So it's, it's not. I see. Do you know other people with type one? No, no, you don't know anybody else with it? Well, my sister
Emily 55:11
I did. I didn't know her. She was also not a good diabetic. But she hadn't been diagnosed she had it way before she was diagnosed with it. Because she was on her. She was in college, and she was on her summer bikini diet and eating like 500 calories a day. So it wasn't as obvious. You know, she was losing weight, which she thought well that this diet is working right. And she thought she was paying a lot because she was drinking so much water. She thought she was drinking so much water because she had. Yeah, she was supposed to drink eight glasses of water a day or whatever. Yeah, it all
Scott Benner 55:51
covered each other. Do you guys ever talk about your diabetes? The two of you?
Emily 55:56
We would complain about it. She died in 2014. I'm sorry. Okay, well, so let me get the overall grief thing out of the way. So you can understand. Okay, so I got to college in 1987. Pass a couple of kidney stones moved back up to the Bay Area in 93. And my middle sister starts to be antagonistic towards me, because we each got an inheritance from our grandmother. And I used mine and took a trip and backpacked around Europe, whereas she was married. And so she bought a house. And so she was mad that she didn't get to go to Europe. And so she, we never talked about this, but that's how I sort of felt about it. She was just always kind of, she had I was staying in her house. For about three weeks or maybe a month, I was working three different temp jobs until I could get enough money to move out. And then I caught walking pneumonia. So while I was out with walking pneumonia, my sister thought I was making that up. So she, if this sounds so much more Maury Povich than it really was, but she had my mom kick me out of her house. She my sister had my mother kick me out of my sister's house.
Scott Benner 57:32
Okay, I understand.
Emily 57:34
Which I didn't know you can do that. By letter. I didn't get to talk or basically what am i Mom writes, you know, you've always been the funniest, but also the most selfish, like this really harsh letter. And so I we, we kind of had a falling out after that, although it would kind of go up and down in 2012, so I moved to the Pacific Northwest Northwest and my eldest sister was in Pacific Northwest already. And in 2012 My mother dies, surprisingly, like no one expected it at all. So that threw us all for a loop. And then two years after that, my middle sister dies. They're not sure of what we would have had to pay like 1100 bucks for an autopsy. And we didn't
Scott Benner 58:43
know I was married with the house one, right?
Emily 58:46
Yes. Okay. And she's the one who also had diabetes. So when you have diabetes, and you die, they assign you we always used to joke that oh, you know, we get in a car crash they're gonna blame it on the diabetes right? And well, she was also on several different pain meds because she had terrible complications. She had a tracheostomy because of all the throwing up. She did, because she had What's that stomach disease when your stomach doesn't gastroparesis? Yes, she had gastroparesis. Her kidneys were basically shot. And so she died at the age of 47. It sounds
Scott Benner 59:37
like she was doing less day to day work on her type one than you were for sure. Well,
Emily 59:43
actually, she actually. I don't I don't know whether she was doing more or not. We never discussed it. But she had just always had because her diabetes had been noticed. Her diabetes had taken hold much earlier before she was diagnosed, that it just came with more crap. Like, I think even if she had a pump and the best everything in the world she still would have gotten gastroparesis, she still would have gotten the neuropathy. Um, yeah, I
Scott Benner 1:00:20
mean, I don't know how to say for sure what people what what things people would develop or not develop based on their care. I can tell you that I think if you get good care immediately, and you keep a onesies lower that that lowers your chances of these things happening but certainly it's not a not a foolproof system. But it sounds like a lot went wrong like it to me. I mean, a layman from the outside. It sounds like your sister's a onesies were really high. And it was just ravaging her in a number of different ways.
Emily 1:00:52
Yeah, she she would go into ketoacidosis. Like, every three weeks. Yeah. And well, the problem was that her doctors would fight with each other through her, like her diabetic doctor would say you need to do A, B and C and her her kidney doctor would say no, no, you need to do XYZ. In the meantime, she's in so much pain, and neither of them are giving her any pain medication. So finally she gets an okay, she's changes hospital and she moves up to, to Pacific Northwest. So all three sisters are together after mom died. And she lived near my other sister. And she was on disability. And so my eldest sister found her apartment and my niece was going to go over and just sort of help her out. You know, clean the cat box for her and stuff like that and hanging around and make sure she was okay. And within a month, my niece went over there and found her dead on the floor. And we don't know what killed her. But because she had a bottle of you know, legally prescribed methadone. They decided that oh, she she Odede.
Scott Benner 1:02:23
Was she a recovering heroin addict? Nope.
Emily 1:02:28
Methadone is a common pain
Scott Benner 1:02:30
is common for pain. Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that. Yep. Okay. And it's really
Emily 1:02:35
good. I'm on it, too. And it's really good. It gives you it helps with just standard. Just the lowering of a pain
Scott Benner 1:02:46
changes your threshold.
Emily 1:02:47
Yes, exactly.
Scott Benner 1:02:49
What, what are you on it for?
Emily 1:02:51
I have chronic pain in my hips and legs and shoulders. My shoulders basically are like, stuck in Frozen Shoulder syndrome and have been for four years now.
Scott Benner 1:03:04
Well, that's a complication of type one frozen shoulder? Yeah, yeah, that's what they've told me. Are they? Did you get it looked at like by somebody who thinks they can treat it? Or are they just treating the pain?
Emily 1:03:17
Um, well, I have a pain management doctor that I also am seeing a physical therapist, I have a PHP, I'll be going to see an endocrinologist. Um, my pain is pretty well managed now.
Scott Benner 1:03:33
Okay. Do you have any considerations about like, maybe if you brought your agency down and got your variability a little stable, like your stability better than maybe some of your problems might alleviate? That would be great. Yeah. Because there have been people your age that have come on that I've talked about that. People with, with significant type one, complications, who were on their way to others, and then they found the podcast and got their agency down in some of those complications. I'm thinking of one person now whose vision was going and then he got his blood sugar down and stable and his vision stabilized.
Emily 1:04:13
Oh, well, yeah, that, that totally makes sense.
Scott Benner 1:04:15
Yeah. Do you understand? Like, why high blood sugars cause problems like this?
Emily 1:04:23
I'm in a very vague way I sort of pictured in my head as if Hi. I always picture my body's being sort of a cartoon. And so you know, like my optic nerve. High blood sugars. High blood sugar to me is like a cotton ball surrounded by steel spikes. So as it rubs up against the optic nerve, it shreds it. It's a sort of a weird No, no,
Scott Benner 1:04:57
it's not weird at all. It's how I think about it too. I I think of it as there's a certain amount of sugar that belongs in your blood. And that at the molecular level, sugar is jagged, just like you would see table sugar, but smaller. When you pack too much of it in your blood, you're basically being scraped or sandblasted from the inside out. Right? And, and all you need to do for that to stop happening and to give your body a chance to heal is to get a adequate, but not too low or too high level of sugar in your blood and find some stability, you don't want to be rocketing up and down, up and down. That's really bad for you as well. Right? Yeah, I. So Emily, in the last years, last couple of years, well, just the other day, actually, a company named Omni pod came out with a algorithm pump that will make your, you know, insulin dosing. Well, it adjusts your insulin as you go along during the day, you still have the Bolus for your meals. There's also a company named tandem that has a pump that does the same thing. Control IQ. Medtronic has a pump that does the same thing. There are three pumps on the market that do this, two of them work with your Dexcom control, like you on the pod five, like these things, if you got them on with even like reasonably good settings, I think your blood sugar would would level out, I think your agency would go into the sixes and stay there. And you know, then you'd really just have to worry about you know, your bolusing for your meals properly. counting your carbs, right understanding the different impacts of different foods and Pre-Bolus say a little bit. I really think there's a lot of success very available to you and everybody else, not just you. But you got to go get it like you have to. I mean, you got to go to a doctor and make them do it. Don't wait for them to suggest it to you. If that's what you want to do. But you're also at the same time you're battling all this grief. Right? You're in counseling. I guess how long have you been doing that? Um,
Emily 1:06:59
well, I saw one therapist for about 15 years, and then she retired. And so I've seen I've been seeing the one I'm have now for a couple years. Is it helping you? Um I'm having a slightly harder time adjusting to my new person. She's great. She's a little more in your face than I'm used to.
Scott Benner 1:07:31
What's the goal for you and you go to therapy?
Emily 1:07:33
Yeah, see, that's the problem. My goal when I was seeing my first person was to basically just express my grief and my rage and everything else in a safe space. And then prescribe antidepressants because I've been diagnosed with severe depression, surprise, surprise.
Scott Benner 1:08:01
How is your Shiva for your thyroid levels checked?
Emily 1:08:04
Oh, yeah, I'm on thyroid meds too. I'm on Synthroid Synthroid. Yeah,
Scott Benner 1:08:10
what's your TSH when it gets checked? Do you know it?
Emily 1:08:14
I don't know it off the top of my head. I get really bad about taking. I was only told recently that you're supposed to take your thyroid meds before you eat and right first thing in the morning like
Scott Benner 1:08:30
not not with any other medications or food. Right? Yeah. So you've been taking it? It's not been helping you? Right? Yeah. So one of the things that you might find with an unregulated hyper, you have hypothyroidism or Hashimotos. Have they told you? Oh, hypo. Okay. So with hypothyroidism, depression is one of the things that you that you get from having an unregulated thyroid very possible that could be from that. So taking your thyroid medication every day, at the same time, letting it stay in your stomach for an hour or, you know, at the you know, without putting anything else in with it. You might see an improvement just doing that for two weeks. And then continuing on but I mean, I'm saying in the first two weeks, you might see a real benefit that you have. Are you cold all the time? Does your hair fall out? Do you have dry skin?
Emily 1:09:24
I have dry skin, but no, my hair is okay. I'm not always cold.
Scott Benner 1:09:32
regulating your thyroids a really big deal. It also makes your blood sugar management easier. There's a whole series in the podcast about thyroid so you might like this podcast, you'd be surprised.
Emily 1:09:45
There's only so much self improvement I can do before I start to rebel because remember, I'm between 10 and 12 years old.
Scott Benner 1:09:54
Yeah, well, and we I don't know a lot about the psychology of people. Um, I'm certainly no expert, but I will tell you this, if you don't do something different, it ain't gonna end well. So, you know, you might as well like, I mean, if you're gonna find something to take serious, I would think that your that your physical health would give you the best chance. I would think that having solid physical health is attainable for you. I don't hear anything about you that says that you couldn't accomplish that. And then you would give you more time to work on your on your mental health. And you might, you might have an easier time with that when your physical health is is there. I mean, high blood sugars make people you know, it's altering in your mind. And low blood sugars are as well vacillating up and down blood sugars are hard on you. I think you I think you take your Synthroid every day, I think you listened to a few episodes of this podcast to figure out how to get your your insulin like regulated a little bit. And you might see a really different person 30 days from now, looking back at you. Are you up for that? Do you think? Or are you just gonna like like this thing on fire and ride it out to the end?
Emily 1:11:13
I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Scott Benner 1:11:17
Well, that's up to you. But I'm like, No, but I mean, everybody in your life has gone, right?
Emily 1:11:22
Yes. After my middle sister died, and my niece found her. Two years after that my eldest sister died of a very rare cancer called gastrointestinal stromal tumor.
Scott Benner 1:11:41
Emily, I would take the fact that you're still alive as a sign that you're supposed to be here. I mean, because everything around you is a show due respect. Yeah. I mean, it's a it's a dumpster fire. And, and you're, for some reason, standing up in the middle of it, and you're okay. And you're at the very least alive. And I don't know, like, I mean, it's a really weird thing, because I'm not judging you at all. Like, if you just want to sit back and be like, I got a crappy hand dealt to me, and I'm just gonna ride it out. I wouldn't know. I mean, I couldn't blame you. You know what I mean? I don't know what you've been through with it. Maybe it's more than you can overcome. But, I mean, I think it's obvious that, that this path is going to end poorly. I mean, you've seen that with everybody in your life, basically. You might as well try a different path. I mean, what do you got to lose? Really?
Emily 1:12:35
Well, that's true. It's just a, I don't have a keep to itiveness that, you know, I get on these kicks where I'm like, Alright, I have found the solution. I'm gonna do this. And then like, after a week, I lose interest. And I don't know if that means. I don't know what that means. Or where I got that from. You know, my dad always thought it was because I was lazy. My mom always thought it was because I was lazy.
Scott Benner 1:13:01
I think my play pop psychologist with you. I would think it's because that somebody has sent that expectation out for yourself. So you're just trying to you're just trying to prove them right? I think you're just i All that sounds like nonsense to me. Like you're a reasonable person. You were here when you said you were gonna be today, right? You get your insulin, you buy your your CGM, as you go to your doctor's appointments, you get up in the morning you eat every day, you're, you do plenty of things you don't I mean, I feel I should get a cookie for that. Well, good, then have one I don't give it. Like definitely have a cookie like, like, feel good. Pat yourself on the back all day long. If you want to, I'd wear a shirt that says Emily rocks. That's fine with me. You know what I mean? But what I'm saying is, is that if you grew up with a father telling you for too, you know, for two years, every time that that test came back, hi, it's because you're lazy. First of all, no offense to your father. He didn't know what he was talking about. Either. It either did the medical community at that point? You were a child. So you're being told every day you're doing something wrong. In fairness, you didn't know what you were doing. So it's not like you were actually doing something wrong. It wasn't even willful, you're just doing what you were told to do. It was ending the way it was always going to end. Because you were set up for failure to begin with. And then along comes this person to tell you it's your fault. So they don't have to feel bad about it. Because what he really is thinking is, oh, I'm failing this little girl. But I'll put it on her. So he puts it on you. Then your dad dies, and your mom puts it on you. Right? And then life puts it on you. And you're just you're just living a self fulfilling prophecy of of you're trying to make them right. I'm lazy things don't go right for me. My sister died. My other sister died. My mom died. This is my lot in life. I'm gonna die. Here I go. I don't think any of that has to be true. Well, I will die. Well, it doesn't need to be today. You're 52 Well, no,
Emily 1:14:56
I don't think it's going to be today. Yeah, like let's
Scott Benner 1:14:59
like let's Let's get into this. Like, I'd like to see you back on this podcast 10 years from now be and look at me still here, baby. You know, seriously like, and I'm telling you, the only thing you need to do is understand a little better how your insulin works. Take your Synthroid on time. Do it every day. Don't don't I mean, look, if you're going to tell me that I'm going to get bored, then there's nothing I can tell you in return. I don't think there's anything your therapist is going to tell you in your return. You got to you got to prioritize you, and you got to stop listening to ghost voices tell you you're bad at this. That's how it seems to me, but I've only known you for an hour, 10 minutes, 17 seconds. So
Emily 1:15:36
it's still it's up? 17 seconds there.
Scott Benner 1:15:39
That's where I really started understanding.
Emily 1:15:41
Yes. I was gonna say something, and now I've just forgotten. Okay, well take your time.
Oh, my mom told me something really weird when I was, like, 30. She died when I was 32. So we were at a family function. And she she said, oh, did I ever tell you the plans that your dad had for you? And I said, plans. And she said, Well, he had decided that after graduation, you are going to go to school at UC Berkeley, which was laughable because my grades would never let me get into UC Berkeley. But they had both gone to UC Berkeley. And you would live at home until you met your husband. And then he would hand you over to your husband. Not that my dad was one of those religious people who thought you know, the man is the head of the house kind of crap. But he thought that I would need to be watched over my entire life. And so he would do the watching over until my husband did. And that floored me.
Scott Benner 1:17:09
Emily, would it hurt you to know that I think it would have been better if you were born and then left in the woods to your own devices? Well, I think if you would have grown up feral you might be in a better situation.
Emily 1:17:26
See, but my parents were both great. I don't want Oh, they were doing the 70s that they weren't
Scott Benner 1:17:32
Yeah, looking. I was born in the 70s to trust me, I know what you're talking about. Like, nobody was thinking about anything very deeply. You know, it's people were not, you know, if your kid wasn't dead, you're taking care of them. You know, the, the idea of you go to go into college was like a great thing. You know what I mean? Get out of here, we're not paying for you anymore, you know, be gone with you. You'd probably the only thing I think that you could hear today that would make you cry is that I'm considering after talking to you getting in a car and driving two hours to take my son something he needs a college. And I would think that, like that seems like something that no one would ever do for you. And, and it's just that I've made a decision to like, I've made a decision to be the kind of parent I think you wanted to have. And you got the kind that that you know, either got sick and died or was like, Oh, I'm gonna get sick and die one day, I better have some time for me and they stopped making time for you. You know, but you could do it for yourself. Do you have kids?
Emily 1:18:36
No, no, I have never really wanted children. And then
Scott Benner 1:18:42
that's cool. Like, I mean, are you married? Are you with anybody? You by yourself? I
Emily 1:18:45
am. I am married. I'm actually married to someone I went to high school with although we weren't dating at the time. But yeah, we just weren't interested in kids. I like cats better. And then I just thought my genes are not the genes that should get passed on. Respectable the future
Scott Benner 1:19:04
respectable decision. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say anything bad about that. Can we put this guy in charge of the Synthroid. I like him having a job in this.
Emily 1:19:12
Oh, he can tell when my blood sugar's low way before I can.
Scott Benner 1:19:16
I want him to charge to the Synthroid. I want him in charge of the Synthroid, I want you taking that Synthroid every day for 90 days. And then I want you back at your doctor to get a blood test to see where your TSH level is. And if you're, if your TSH is over two, I want you to tell the doctor I want my TSH to be two or below. And then let's get my medication. Right so that happens. And in those 90 days, too, you start taking a little better care your blood sugar's I'm telling you you're a different person after this is over.
Emily 1:19:43
Okay, well, I will tell him he gets up. We both work from home, but he gets up about an hour before I do. So I'll just tell him to wake me up and make me take my
Scott Benner 1:19:53
pill, stick that thing in your mouth, drink a little water. Make sure you have enough and then whatever. And that yeah, that hour over be perfect. I seriously, nothing wrong with needing help getting this going. You know what I mean? Nothing wrong with that. Let him help with that. And, you know, we'll tasked you with listening to a couple specific episodes of the podcast and see if you can't figure out how to use your insulin a little more effectively. This all makes sense to you. Are we gonna get off this? And you're gonna be like, Yeah, screw that guy.
Emily 1:20:22
No, I mean, I feel very motivated at the moment.
Scott Benner 1:20:26
Good. Well, great, then that's it. Let's leave you right here, then. Let me not let me I've done my job. There's no more talking to do. Excellent. I do want me to tell you the episodes I think you should listen to.
Emily 1:20:39
Um, weren't you going to email them? I don't have anything to write.
Scott Benner 1:20:44
We're just making the podcast. You don't have to write it down. Don't worry. Okay. Okay. Yeah, we just want the pelota here. You know what I mean? Yes.
Emily 1:20:50
Oh, sorry. Yes, please. i Please tell me them right now.
Scott Benner 1:20:53
See, look at you're getting a no. All right. So I think there are a number of different places and ways to begin. Do you? Are you comfortable with terminology? Do you think you know, the terms that you need to know for diabetes? Because if not, I have one? Yes, you do?
Emily 1:21:15
I think I think so. I mean, I was on one of the Facebook groups for a while until I realized that it wasn't the face group for me because it was mostly people talking about taking care of their diabetic children. And I didn't feel like I really had fun. I can't tell anybody how to take care of their diabetic child.
Scott Benner 1:21:36
May I, Emily, you're thinking about that backwards. So it doesn't matter if their kids are adults. By the way, there are a ton of adults in there. They're just quieter. They don't They lurk more than they talk. But the point is that taking care of a five year old diabetes, taking care of your diabetes, at its core is pretty much the same thing. So I let the let the other stuff go just look at the focus. But if I said to you, Bolus, you know what a Bolus is, right? Yes. Okay. Basal.
Emily 1:22:06
Bolus is the current that you you are based on that give you getting the most Okay. Basil is the kind you take would be taking your short acting insulin Bolus is belonging acting.
Scott Benner 1:22:19
You have those backwards. Okay. Okay, so Basil is your Lantis. Bolus is your humor log. So just having said that to you, I'm going to tell you that there's a series of very short episodes called defining diabetes, I'm going to send you that list. Okay, okay, there's three, five minutes long, they're going to pick terms and they're going to define them for you, it's not going to be boring. And then you'll you'll kind of have this idea of like these, these things that are going to come up in these other episodes. Once you have those, you move on to the Pro Tip series. And the Pro Tip series is just going to walk you through basically how I think about taking care of my daughter's blood sugar, it's going to be me, and the CDE named Jenny. Jenny's had diabetes for like 33 years. She's delightful. She's from the Midwest, right? So you can't help but love her. And I don't think they're boring. They're going to it's going to be one of the episodes is going to be how to start over one's going to be about MDI about Pre-Bolus thing about insulin pumping. And then some other ideas, some variables that might impact you how illness exercise, how those things might help, you might might impact your decisions. That's it. There's, there's not many there. I think if you listen probably to the first like 10 or 10 or so you should be in a better situation. So I would have you listened to the defining diabetes first than the Pro Tip series. And then if you like them, or you see them helping you, that's when I say just jump in. Because even if you think about your episode right now, like, if I asked you when this is over, what's this about? You're gonna say, I got diabetes, when I was younger, I've had a lot of grief in my life, and I'm struggling, right, except there's a ton of management conversation in this too. And that exists in every one of those conversations. So sometimes just hearing people talking about it, normalizes it. And that makes it feel you know, like it's not work it just I don't think of diabetes as work like you don't put much effort into diabetes you said but you don't get a return. I probably put about as much effort into it as you do. And my kids a once he's in the fives. And she doesn't have any diet restrictions. She had like some pasta and bolognese sauce last night when she went to that restaurant.
Emily 1:24:35
Yeah, but did she have a Christmas tree?
Scott Benner 1:24:38
Every year? Every year Emily, I swear to you, that's a wonderful, I wish I could find out what the hell that was about. Like you can have a Christmas tree with diabetes. Shame on anybody who wrote that episode. That article by the way.
Emily 1:24:51
That was not that was a joke in my family for years.
Scott Benner 1:24:57
Well, it should have been that's ridiculous. Alright, so hold on, I am actually creating. I am going to create an email to you right now. So that I said I literally don't forget, because I'm so hungry. When I get done here I am 100% gonna go eat something. Okay, do you feel okay about all this? Is there anything you want to talk about that we haven't talked about?
Emily 1:25:21
I just want to end on a funny story, if I may, please. Okay, so we took a trip to San Francisco, once my, everybody in my family it because I was like a, I think 11. And so we all went to Fisherman's Wharf, there was a favorite restaurant, my family would go to, and I was sitting, my mom would usually give me my insulin. When I was 11, just because it was easier. I mean, I could do it myself if I want to do but she just wanted to. So I was sitting sort of next to the wall, and my three, two sisters were sitting next to me. So it wouldn't really easy for me to get out and go to the bathroom and shoot myself. So mom, we had ordered our meal, and mom's like, Okay, I'm gonna shoot, you shoot, you now. Just get under the table. And I'm like, Get under the table. She's like, Yeah. And I'm like, okay, so I get under the table, and I stick my arm out. And she shoots myself, she shoots me, and I pop up. And the weight person is there ready to put my food down. And so she had a way person had shown up while I was under the table, saw that I wasn't there, turned around, picked up my plate and went to put it down, down. And then I was there. And she nearly jumped out of her skin. And we thought it was hilarious.
Scott Benner 1:26:50
Well, I'm, I'm sad that they made you get under the table to get your get your insulin, but at the same time, I think the story is hilarious. Yeah,
Emily 1:26:59
that is the kind of person my mother was she just caused very funny things to happen.
Scott Benner 1:27:04
So Well, it sounds like she was lovely. It sounds like in general, you guys were overwhelmed with diabetes. And we're not getting any help. And I hope that somehow this has been helpful to you. Yes, I really.
Emily 1:27:16
And I would like to add to anybody listening. I did and do love everyone in my family. So well, the little things that I'm talking about.
Scott Benner 1:27:26
Yeah, for context. Look, look, I have to thank you for your honesty, because you really were able to come on and tell stories that, you know, didn't shine people in the brightest light all the time. But you there's no need to say. I mean, to me, there's no need to say what you said. Because I don't think that what you said is an indication that you didn't love and respect and care for your family. I'm just saying that. You know, sometimes people are outmatched by the things they're asked to do in life. And sometimes those things impact children. And you were around some people who got outmatched a couple of times, unfairly points even to them. And then it just had the impact on you that it had. And it's not fair to you either. So you don't need to. It's not just because that's how their life went doesn't mean that that's how your life needs to go. I guess. If there's one.
Emily 1:28:15
Do you still think this is an an after dark episode? Oh, yeah. This
Scott Benner 1:28:19
is very sad. I'm incredibly sad. You're a little girl who? Listen, let's not go over it again. But no, I think it fits well. In the after darks. Have you heard any of the after darks?
Emily 1:28:33
Yeah. The one that caused me to write my email was the one with the woman who was a recovering heroin addict.
Scott Benner 1:28:43
Yeah, that one's tough. They're all tough. Have you there's a ton of them. There actually, are, I think of some of the best podcasts that we have. Because like yours, people come on, and they, they've gotten to a point where they recognize that they're going to be incredibly honest, because that's what people need to hear. So I appreciate that you did that very much.
Well, I'm gonna thank you for listening first, and I'm gonna thank Emily for telling her story. And then I'm gonna thank Dexcom and Omni pod for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. So here, I guess I don't have to do it. I pretty much did it. dexcom.com forward slash juice box, go check out the Dexcom G six. See if you're eligible for the 10 Day Trial Get started today. Omni pod.com forward slash juice box may be eligible for a 30 day trial of the dash. You can check out the Omni pod five, two. And what else you can get started with my link Omni pod.com forward slash juice box when you support the sponsors. You're supporting the podcast so thank you for using those links. Speaking of the sponsors, I almost forgot that I am contractually obligated to say this For full safety, risk information and free trial terms and conditions, also visit omnipod.com forward slash juicebox. All right, now we'll get to the other stuff. All the episodes that I spoke about with Molly are available at juicebox podcast.com, diabetes pro tip.com. Or you can join the private Facebook group, and then scroll to the top and click on the feature tab where they're listed for you. These are going to be the diabetes pro tips. This will be the diabetes Pro Tip series, The defining diabetes series and there's a lot else there's a lot else that's not English, there's a lot more, check out those lists in the Facebook page or on the website. If you're enjoying the podcast, please tell someone else about it. Please, please, please share the show. It's how it grows. And it is really growing. And it's because of you. And I can't thank you enough. Oh, what else? Seems like there should be more but this about an hour and a half in you probably get a little tired of me by now. So maybe I'll just let you go. Does that seem fair? I'll bring up a bringing another podcast very soon. You can check that one out too. Before I go, let me thank somebody in the Canada for leaving a really wonderful review of the podcast says I do not listen to podcasts. That's actually not what it says. It says I did not listen to podcasts before my daughter was diagnosed type one in February 2022. Now I listen to the podcast religiously and find that I have learned so much about good diabetes magic management, from the pro tip episodes, the pumping episodes and the ongoing exploration of how others with type one manage their disease. I am less than six months out with my kids diagnosis and feel like a mini expert on how to manage her disease and how to teach others about how to manage it. Isn't that lovely? That's all the way from the Canada that's a foreign country. Did you know The Internet even worked like that? I want to thank whoever JoJo jammer is by the way JoJo jammer cool name for leaving this wonderful review takes a few minutes to leave a well thought out five star review that helps other people see the podcast and think maybe I'll give this a try. So if you're looking for ways to promote the podcast, leaving a great review is one of them. telling a friend is one. Tell your doctor. You can go out the window if you want. I don't think it's going to reach anybody but do that. And while I'm thanking people here at the end. Do you know the there'd be no way for you to know I've never said this on the podcast I don't believe I think we're up to like six states in the United States where somebody has a Juicebox Podcast license plate, a vanity plate, like someone they say like juice box or juice box. Like stuff like that. I tried to show my children because I thought it was really cool. And they were like what what are people doing? I was like, I don't know, isn't this really great? They love the park so much. They did a plate for their car with it. Anyway. It'd be cool if you guys all did that. So couldn't you free time or whatever. Go get a different license plate. I'd like to have like a collage of all 50 states and not for nothing. There are license plates on cars and other countries too. So you know what I mean? Anyway, if you do that, thank you. It's very cool. It's heartwarming, but if you definitely do it, send me a picture, please. All right. Now I'm really leaving. I'm out of here. What do I have to say at the end? Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.
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