Scott Benner 12/15/23 Scott Benner 12/15/23

#1086 Parenting: Co-Parenting and Unified Fronts

Scott and Erika talk about the dynamics of co-parenting - both under the same roof or in two different households - and the importance of presenting a unified front and attempting to avoid disagreements in front of the children.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1086 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Welcome back everybody to another episode of my parenting series with Erica Forsythe. You can find Erica at Erica forsythe.com This series began on episode 1049 It was called parenting brainstorming the series. In that episode, Eric and I just got together and worked out what we wanted to do in the coming episodes. Those episodes of course have been 1054 Understanding parenting styles 1059 building positive communication 1060 for self care, and personal growth for parents 1074 creating boundaries and expectations 1079 inconsistent discipline and over involved parenting, and today's episode 1086 It's called co parenting and unified front. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by cozy Earth cozy earth.com use the offer code juicebox at checkout to save 40% off of your entire order. That can be towels, clothing, bed linens, it doesn't matter what you put in your cart at cozy earth.com My offer code will save you 40% Use juicebox at checkout. Erica, welcome back. How are you? Thank

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:01
you. It's good to be back and doing well. How are you?

Scott Benner 2:05
You know I've had a day but I'm okay. Okay, I can do my job. So we are making our way very nicely. So we you and I have recorded now the first five episodes Yes, of this series. We're up to episode six, which we're going to call co parenting and unified fronts. Make sense? Yes. All right. All right. I'm not going to go back over everything that we've talked about before. But let's suffice it to say this is a series, you probably should listen to it in order. But you know, if you're just jumping in now and you enjoy this one, go back, there's five more that all tie together with this. So when we left off last, what the heck were we talking about last when we left off? It's been a couple of weeks now.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:49
Yes, we were talking about the consequences of inconsistent parenting and consistent discipline. We were talking about over involved parenting, excessive phrase. And then And then what do we do with these kind of unintended negative outcomes or behaviors that we see in our children as a result of of the of our inconsistency? Which we are all inconsistent at times as parents because you're not perfect? Yeah.

Scott Benner 3:20
And, and everything comes so fast and furiously that I don't even know. Like, sometimes there's just not even time to think you just have to react and, and that's, by the way, that's if you're well intended. Imagine if you're not well intended. I don't even know what you do then. And that's, by the way on the tip of my tongue. Because I did an interview earlier today. That if you're looking for it, I'm pretty sure it's going to be called foot wash. I think that's what I'm going to call it.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:47
Okay.

Scott Benner 3:48
This person said, you know, mid 20s, talking about their life. And this girl, you know, brought up by addicted parents. She said the best way to describe the parenting she received growing up was she was basically like, abandoned just left to her own devices. When it wasn't drugs and screaming. And I, you know, my god, she described being five years old, in a bathroom with her mother, who was being held by her father or her boyfriend, either the father or the boyfriend holding a knife to her telling the mom look at yourself, you're useless. Tell me you don't love your kids like all this stuff like like that kind of like abuse, right? But when the girl is talking about it, she doesn't talk about it the way you and I hear the story, which just shows how like, how steeped she was in that kind of world and how normal it was to her even though she's screwed up now from it and struggling and knows that and is trying to find her way out of it. Now this is a ham fisted example, but it's in my head. cuz I talked about it today. And I think that anywhere from that most kind of egregious example down to the little things, they stick to your kids as you're growing up, you know, as they're coming up, and, you know, whether you have the issues that this person has, or just, you know, the littlest thing, like, you know, the little silliest thing, you're you're always being impacted and built on by the things that are happening around you. Yes, yeah, constantly, just

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:28
just as we are, as adults, you know, have been affected by our different parenting styles that we experienced or trauma. But there is hope, right, that there's always room for for healing, and growth, if the if you're What if you're seeking that, right? So I

Scott Benner 5:46
also have to imagine that people listening to this are not the knife wielding lunatics, and are just like, hey, I'd love some pointers on how things could be easier. Yes, I probably would not have used that example here. Had it not been so fresh in my head. But it just occurred to me that what we're talking about today is what you do, and how what you do imprints itself on your kids and who they end up becoming? Yes, yeah. So a lot of this is co parenting, whether you're married or divorced, or whatever, and how you work together. And so I'd love for you to step through this stuff with me, please.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:21
Yes, thank you for saying that. I wanted to, to also note that, that when we speak of co parenting, we were speaking of it through both lenses of co parenting under the same roof or in two different households. Because both both hopefully tools will be applicable to you. So the first the first thing I thought we could walk through is just you know, what are what are the co parenting dynamics, highlighting the importance of presenting united front, and I know we've talked about this point before, in previous episodes in this series, but these it's important, if you can attempt to avoid disagreements in front of your children, I know this is can be really difficult, particularly whether we're talking about diabetes decisions, or you've come home from work or you've you know, ended your workday or your whatever has been going on in your life, and you're exhausted, and you're trying to make a decision with your partner, either on the phone or in person. And the children are totally absorbing and witnessing this disagreement. Now, I have done this, I know this happens to all of us at times. The good news is that you can always repair and correct and circle back to your children about that. But it's really important feature or just principle to try and agree with your partner to beforehand. Like if you feel like you're in that pattern of constantly fighting, having big or small disagreements in front of your children, to try and have a separate conversation to say, hey, can we let's work together? Firstly, and you agree with your partner to not do that? That would be the first step, right? Because then if if you can't be agreement to try to avoid the conflict in front of your children, that's, that would be maybe a deeper issue of Okay, wait, what is the what is the issue there? In terms of your communication? Yeah,

Scott Benner 8:15
so this is this the situation that on your own, by yourself somewhere, you have to have that conversation and say, Look, for a number of different reasons. Even if we don't agree, we have to appear to agree. That doesn't mean that you can disagree and one person gets to win, it means that if you have a disagreement, you have to work it out. And then you don't work it out in front of the kids is the issue, right? Yes. But now, here's my question. We all disagree on things. And isn't that resolution also an important thing to teach and to show people but it's not? You don't want to? I want to make sure I think I understand this correctly. I don't want to teach my kids how to resolve a disagreement between me and a spouse or me and an X or whatever. In another crisis. Like it should be its own conversation. Not is that right? Do you understand what I'm saying? So

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:13
if you're so if you're saying if you you have the fight in front of your children, is it that you're wondering, is it important for them to also witness the repair? Or this is how you're going to solve the problem? Or resolve the conflict? Is that what you're asking? Well, I

Scott Benner 9:28
guess what I'm saying is that if I don't know, let's like, make it something simple. The kid wants to eat paste there. That's an easy one. Okay. And the kids start eating the paste, and I stand up and I go, don't eat the paste, and my wife stands up and goes, hmm, let him eat the paste. That's not how we come at that because then the kid sees these two don't agree I can play one against the other like there's all kinds of ways to like make that an unhealthy relationship. But if we then said hey, don't eat the pace, whatever we erred on this side of that, but then later away from that situation sat somebody down and said, hey, you know, I thought it would be interesting for you to know, I was negative on the price dealing, but Mom was pro on it. And now we're gonna sit here and talk it through and see us, like, give each other our opinions and come to a, you know, to a an agreement if we can or even come to it, the idea that we can agree, there are two different things, right? Yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 10:26
and I think if your children are open to it, I think that could be a great example of modeling how to resolve the conflict in front of them. I think that's absolutely fair. I think that might be difficult to do on maybe like a higher level, or a more intense conversation. But I think to show them and but you're also you're verbalizing that to them. And obviously, this is all developmentally and age appropriate, you want to make it age appropriate, but to say, hey, you saw you saw us fighting about I just agreeing about the pace. So now we're going to show you how we're going to resolve this, or we're going to try and figure out a way to come to an agreement. So you're, then you're being really intentional with them of what you're doing. It just

Scott Benner 11:12
occurred to me that somebody could hear the you know, you have to present a unified front. And I think what that means is that one of us gets to be right, and one of us gets and the other one has to shut the hell up and bite their tongue. And in a, like, I'm not gonna lie to you like there are a lot of people have relationships where that's the case where you get to be right, and I get to be quiet. And you know, and that's that I think kids read that too. Like, you know, you always hear you can hear children get older and talk about their parents and say, oh, you know, when we were younger, my dad, man, he just did whatever he was told, or, you know, are my mom back down every time my dad opened his mouth or something like that, like there's there's no value in that either. So you have to be, you have to actually be unified, I guess is my point. And I think you're such a nice person. You just said like, be unified, like people would actually do it. But I see it is one person would just be like us isn't worth the fight. You know what I mean?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:11
Absolutely. And I think that also can be conditional on the topic on on your and what is your what is the parent or the two partner dynamic, as you just exemplified is some is one person just kind of like a bulldozer and the other person just kind of acquiesces and says, okay, whatever, that's fine. You when you when you when that children pick up on that, too. And maybe there are times when you're just so exhausted, and you don't really care about the thing that you're arguing about, and you're like, Okay, fine. Let them meet the paste. I don't really care. Yeah, maybe there are other moments where it doesn't feel appropriate. And you you do have, you know, buy in, or you're you do really want to stand strong, but the pace.

Scott Benner 12:54
Well, you've let that's my other thing is like I picked such a ridiculous example. But what if I was like, what I mean, what if she was just like, no, like, our kids he paced? I'm like, Well, this is definitely not right. She's wrong, I have to make a stand here. And it's in the moment it's happening. So now I have to now I do have to steal up and, and resist her, her opinion. And people can't get emotional in those situations and probably will. And then, you know, it turns into defending yourself almost immediately, you know, like, I ate paste when I was little, and I'm fine. You know, you're like, Oh, my God, I saw on the news. You shouldn't be pasting. Like, you know, you're going back and forth like that. It's just it no matter what the conversation is about or the topic, it's possible that people just have two differing opinions. Yes, that they didn't talk ahead about and can't blend. It's also possible one of them's just flat out wrong. And it could be dangerous, or, you know, to just go along and agree. And these are the always, you know, like, Oh, I'm gonna go out. I mean, I for my own personal life, I'm going out now. You know, my wife, I hear my wife, do you have money? When they were little right? I perk up right away. Because my wife's about to lay enough money on them to start their own fortune 500 company to go out for a cheeseburger. You don't I mean? And so like, I'm like, Well, what are we doing? What are we doing? Everyone slow down. Because when they were younger, I'm like, Kelly, you can't put so much money on them. They could start a heroin addiction while they're out. Like they need to have enough to get by, but not enough to be like, you know, I actually said that to her one time. When she goes, those kids are not like, using drugs like that. And I said, No, I'm like, what if one of their friends is? What if one of her friends is like, Hey, you have $100 We can buy Coke, and like are like what happens if and so to me, it was really important that they don't leave the house with too much money. I also thought that it gave them an improper idea of the value of money and like all kinds of different things. I want to be clear, we weren't giving them like $1,000 to leave the house. This is like, you know, like, in a scenario where I think 20 would have done it. My wife was like your take for it. And I'm like, not necessary. Like don't load them up with cash. They're little. I thought that was important. My wife thought I was being ridiculous. But she's walking out of the house. And what if I'm right? You know what I mean? So I don't know, I don't know. And

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 15:15
I think a lot of these examples are a lot of these things probably occur. For the first time, like the first time your child is going out independently with their own wallet, the first time your child is going to be driving, right? So sometimes we don't always kind of free amped or think about how are we going to parent in this situation? Maybe you have kind of like the nuts and bolts of like, are we going to do timeouts? Are we going to do you know how, how we're going to discipline? How are we going to praise and so it's normal for a lot of these conversations to occur. And these first time occurrences.

Scott Benner 15:50
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Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 18:10
And what do you do when one person disagrees? Well, you have to either agree to disagree and try it one way one time. And then maybe the next time you they go out with $5. But you also I think when you're in that moment, and it's like it's that time sensitive piece to it, everything feels like heightened, we have to figure this out right now. That's also and you can like feel your kids watching whatever age it's like a good time say, Hey, let's go take this in the other room. If you feel like you can't resolve it, or one person is going to allow the other person to win, so to speak, to step aside, it's hard. It's hard.

Scott Benner 18:49
It's a fascinating conversation. It just really is because even as you watch your children get older, you can see them have opinions about who they agree with, you know what I mean? And often it's just wiring like my daughter and I are kind of similar the way we think my son and my wife thinks more similarly. And I watched my wife like make a real effort to not judge Arden when are just talking BS because their thoughts don't sync up as easily right. And I do the same thing for coal. And it's gotten easier as he's gotten older. But when he was younger, he'd have these reactions and I'd be like, What the hell is that? And but but I've learned to just think like, that's, that's him. And that's his reaction to this and I have to lay back. Oftentimes shutting your mouth is really helpful. Like Like just, you don't you mean just like watching it happen and kind of absorbing it. You get to push your ego off to the side a little bit your opinion off to the side, just let people be themselves. I don't know what that has to do with this. But I just I very much see the value in unified. I just wanted to be clear. I don't think it's a thing that just magically happens in the moment. I think you have to have real like communication, private communication where you We can come to agreements on things and how are we going to approach this stuff? And what happens if we get into that situation where I really vehemently think you're wrong? Or vice versa? And what do we do right then and there? Because we don't want to see that. We don't want a child to look up and think, Oh, these people that I count on, they don't know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's really what you're trying to avoid. Right? Is that uncertainty? Yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:27
And, and feeling like I can I try Who can I trust what's happening, you know, it gives a real sense of instability, right? For the children. And I think, really, the bottom line is, if you and your partner can agree, to do your best to not have these escalated, consistently bites in front of your children, if you can agree to not do that, that will prevent or at least reduce the frequency of these types of arguments in front of your children. I just do agree like, hey, when we're when we're just agreeing, let's just remember to like pause or go to the other room, or just take a timeout. And that helps a lot.

Scott Benner 21:04
You always want to do appear to be thoughtfully coming to your decisions. That's how it occurs to me. It really, I mean, honestly, they take it out of this realm for a second. You're watching television on Sunday, and the head coach and the offensive coordinator screaming each other, the first thing you should think is, oh, we're not going to the Superbowl. Like, like, right, like our power structures, not right, like the management here is is off kilter. It's fighting with itself. It doesn't work. And that's what you project when you and your spouse are bickering back and forth can't come to a conclusion. Everybody thinks they're right. Nobody thinks they're wrong, like that kid is sitting there going, Oh, we're not going to the Superbowl. Yeah, well, these people are not a winning combination. And it really isn't as much about that moment, or that thing you're talking about, as it is about the centering and how centered that kid gets the feel in your in your house. That to me, that's that's the bigger

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:00
Yes, right? Yes. Okay. Great. That's a great summary. Okay, great.

Scott Benner 22:04
Okay. Sorry. Go on. That's okay. So I thought it was valuable.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:09
So the next one is a bigger issue and topic. But I just thought it'd be important to note here, that oftentimes, there's an interesting dynamic, and it's hard to be united, when to partners have not really understood or discussed how they perceive their own gender role in the parenting dynamic. So parents might have and two partners might have a conflict. And maybe it's communication, maybe it's all the other things we've noted already in previous series episodes. But also, maybe it's this expectation. Maybe you have the awareness or not that okay, well, I'm, I'm will just give this example. Well, I'm the woman in this relationship. And I know my mom, she never did any of the discipline. And I'm the mom here. I'm the female in this part in this partnership. So I'm never going to do it in the discipline. That's what my dad, my dad did that. So then you have that expectation, that your, that your partner who is your husband, is doing all the discipline, but he might have grown up with a mother who did all that, but no one has ever really discussed that. So you're bringing in these kinds of gender roles, gender norms, gender expectations, of how you grew up, and how you saw your mother and your father and this stereotypical example. But you're no one's talking about that. So that creates a really interesting dynamic that often is not discussed, in partnership. So just wanted to bring that up more

Scott Benner 23:41
of that. I also think it I mean, I was raised that way, like when your dad gets home, like when your father gets home like that, and I think back now, my dad probably got home, he's probably didn't give us about any of this. And he's, like, exhausted and dirty. And then my mom puts on him seven hours ago, he like, I was eight, like, seven hours ago, I don't even remember what I do wrong. And now my dad's got a gin up this like false sense of like, disgust or, like, you know, like, I don't know, it almost felt like sometimes he was looking to me like, Hey, listen, she said, I gotta smack you. I got nothing against you. You know, like, like, you know, and it's, it's just bad because it made it gave me that situation where I thought my dad's like the hammer, you know what I mean? Like, and then you start thinking of him that way and isn't it horrible to pull back now as an adult look and think that might not even have been who he was in that situation? It's just the job that somebody gave him. And you know, why like, Why could my you know why could my mom not just like, I don't know say something set a limit. Like in that moment, it was like waiting. You see what happens later and I realized it's probably an older idea now that like, wait till your dad gets home thing, but I don't think the point of what half Binns to the kids interpretation of you when you start acting like, like there's certain things you do and certain things he does and vice versa. Like instead of sharing that, that burden, it is a burden when you're parenting, like, there's a lot of stuff you need to do. Because you're seeding success for 20 years from now. But it doesn't feel like it pays anything in the moment. But you still like if you're parenting? Well, those are the things you have to do in the moment. And so, I don't know, I just think it's, I think it was, if you're hanging that on one person, if one person's a disciplinarian, or even one person's in charge of all the cooking, or all the washing, or anything like that, even like little things like I do the dishes in my house, almost exclusively, between you and I, I think that emasculates me in front of my kids sometimes. And I know that's a weird thing, but I think it's true. I think they see me as the person who does the, those tasks around the house. And I'm okay with it. But I know a lot of people like I don't feel emasculated by this, what I'm trying to say. Right, right. Right, right. But there are plenty of people who would, and then you put them into a defensive posture, and then what comes next is not good, anyway. Am I?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 26:17
Yeah, we could go further, or go on. But I think the point is, like having that awareness of how you were raised as a child, the the roles that you that you were experienced from your your two parents? And are you placing that on yourself? Are you placing on your partner? And is that is that creating a conflict. So just have that kind of awareness of what kind of like expectations do you have of yourself in your role in your partnership,

Scott Benner 26:48
I was a stay at home dad for like, 20 some years, right. And the truth is, in a sentence, if you're going to be a good parent, you have to like, in my opinion, you got to give your heart over to the job, the job of raising children has to fill you up, you can't feel unfulfilled by parenting, or you'll do a bad job at it. But there are a lot of feminine traits in those ideas. And in my opinion, and I know my kids see me as a more feminine version of a person that I actually am. And my son, excuse me, my son is figuring it out as I get older, and we can have more men's conversations together. But I think that while they were I think I came off as soft to them, if that makes sense. While because by the way, it's not wasn't mean necessarily. Also, I talk with my hands, which I think has a lot to do with it. But that's just me, like looking into how people see you. It's because the other men around me, were busy being classic men. And I wasn't doing stuff like that. Like I'm the kid, I got on the man at the softball field on his knee, given Arden a juice box and talking about our blood sugar while she's playing softball. If that happened to any other family, it wouldn't have been the father doing it. And so I think my kids eventually pick up on that. And even though they know that's not who I am, it is how it comes off to them. And my son recently said something like that he goes, I know Dad's not XYZ. But he really does feel like that when you're talking to him sometimes. I mean, I don't know another way to put it. Like I mean, people can say there's, you know, this is a weird gender like thing that I'm bringing up. But I personally, I mean, I grew up 20 years being a stay at home. Father, I don't think there are gender specific jobs. I believe that more than anybody, I think there are jobs that genders get stuck in, because that's how things have been done for years. But I don't think there's anything that should be specific to men or women. But still, my my son said, you know, like, you seem like a feminist sometimes. Because you do so many things that I'm used to seeing women do and not leave. That's

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 28:53
yeah, that's the society, right? Like how he has been exposed to these societal gender norms. And stereotypes. I mean, this is a great conversation. I know. We're, we're totally reading, but I think it's really I think it's really important, as well. Okay,

Scott Benner 29:09
important. I'm sorry, yeah. Feel free to go to the second point. No, it's good

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:13
stuff. Good stuff. So this kind of continues on just these power struggles that you experience with your partner between that may or may not be viewed in by your children, and that you want to continue to promote this collaborative decision making. Part of another conflict that might arise as you're trying to parent is that you may be parenting from a different parenting style, right? One parent might be lean more into authoritative and the other parent might be more permissive. And you might not even realize that until you're experiencing kind of so many conflicts and how you're deciding how to raise your children. Again, I know we talked about the the parenting styles, I think in our first episode, and we and you might come to your partner and think that your way is the best way, because maybe that's how you were raised as a child. And that there's, it also might be aligning with some of your strengths of how you want to parent and what your style is. And so coming to those decisions beforehand, even if you're obviously you're already in it, you're already a parent, it's never too late to go back to have these conversations of like, okay, when our child isn't listening to us, are we going to yell? Are we going to get down to their level and talk to them eye to eye? Are we going to validate their how they're feeling when we're telling them? They aren't listening? Are we going to ground them? Are we going to take away something? Are we going to praise them for when they do listen? Are we just going to kind of ignore it and just hope that they'll grow out of the what however, they're responding, those are all I'm just kind of giving examples from different Yeah, parenting styles. Some of these things, it might be right in the moment. But I think having these conversations that I know are hard to do, when you're working and you have children, and you're doing all the things, it's really hard to carve out time to like, let's talk about how we're parenting. But I think that's really important to kind of get have a little bit of give and take too, if you're realizing that each parent, or excuse me, our partner is parenting from a different style, and maybe accepting that they might be different. Sometimes it doesn't always have to be No, we said it's really important to be united front, but also like, let's be compassionate and gracious towards our partners, too, as we both are learning. Yeah.

Scott Benner 31:35
I mean, there's been plenty of times that, you know, after hearing somebody, you know, hear my wife explain something, I think that is really a better idea. You know, like, I'm gonna, I'm going to try to fold that into how I think it's not as easy as like a light switch. But, you know, you just can't, you can't say otherwise, like, you don't know everything, and you you know, you're married this person, I'm assuming for some reason, and they have these ideas, like you should listen to them and think, wow, she making a lot of sense, or her perspective is one I wouldn't have considered before. You know, so let's see what we can do about uh, you know, being unified, but blending at the same time.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 32:13
Yeah, I wanted to bring up this example that I am asked quite frequently, if when two parents are more comfortable this is with the with diabetes management, when one partner is more comfortable with the child running a little bit higher, versus the other partner feels like, they're a lot more comfortable with the lows, or the child kind of running a little bit lower. And I know people have talked about that even on the podcast, this is really, really hard. Because, again, both parents might feel like they're right, right? Like if your child's going to read, let them run a little bit higher, we avoid those really scary lows and having to treat in the middle of the night or at sports or at school. And then the other parent feels like, Well, no, because if they run high all the time, they're the you know, they're concerned about the long term complications. When I hear two people coming to me with this question. Both are very, you know, firm usually and wanting, they want to be right. And they're ultimately, their goal is to protect the child, they want to keep the child safe.

Scott Benner 33:22
Isn't it funny that both ends of the conversation are safety based? Like normally, when you argue two sides of a coin, there's two different arguments to make the point, you're literally can use safety to make the point on both sides. Yeah.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:35
And often what's underneath that is to take some time and say okay, what what are the fears? What are you? What are, are you fearful of your child? Having a seizure and not knowing what to do? are you fearful of your child, ultimately going blind? Those are both really valid fears. Yeah. So then we kind of, if this is hard, if you are unable to do this independently, this is a great opportunity. If you're finding yourself in this dynamic to go and work with a you know, objective observer, a therapist, a moderator to help you kind of figure out, is it because what is driving the fear? Is it not really feeling confident? Of how to manage to keep it in like a range that isn't consistently high? And isn't flirting with feeling too low? Do you have all the data sometimes when we don't have all of the data or knowledge about something that's where anxiety likes to come in and just creep in and plant seeds of fear and doubt. But what you really want to do is get to the place of validating and empathizing with with your partner, whether or not you were, you know, together or not, in this example, to say, Gosh, I really I hear that you're really scared about about our child having a low and I hear that you're really scared about highs and ultimately, both parties will Let's say yes, they, they both are fearful of both things. Yeah,

Scott Benner 35:02
well, you're both doing the same thing to whether, in this example, if you want the blood sugar to be higher, you're scared about right now problems like immediate problems, and you're willing to ignore what might happen long term. And if you're want them to be low than you're willing to ignore that there might be a crazy low out of nowhere, because you're worried about the law. You're just you're choosing to ignore half of the argument to make yourself comfortable in your decision. And man, isn't it crazy? Like it's an exact, there's no gray area in this argument at all. There's one side of the other. It's hard to get people to, to see like, from the middle, I guess, like I, the way I ended up doing it was I just I preached to my wife, I was like, I'm not willing to trade. Now for later. Like, I basically went with like Ben Franklin on it, right? What's that thing about liberty? Did he even say that? I can give me liberty? Or no, no, you can't trade a little bit of you don't know that saying, you know the way, Deb so seriously, I'm gonna find it for you real quick, because, because this is how I think about where to keep clutch occurs. Benjamin Franklin, by the way, one of the first common sense people in the world, he's a ton of writing under a lot of different pseudonyms. And most of the little like, parables that we say to people, he's one of the first people that put it down into writing in America, at least. Hold on a second, he wrote a book called a poor somethings, I'll figure that out later, I'll put at the end. The quote, Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither. That's how I think about blood sugar. There you go. So I don't think I've ever said that out loud. That's how I think about blood sugar. Like she has to say, say that again. Oh, you mate, you're gonna get those. Don't worry, I was already on the other thing, I move quick. Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither. And this, this quote, became very popular and argued about around the 911 attacks. Because they started, you know, well, we're going to take away some people's rights. There was the What's that? Oh, it's still it's still a law. They can detain you if they think you're a terrorist, still, without any proof. Right? What is that? The Patriot Act? Right? Oh, yeah, yeah. So around the argument of the Patriot Act, this phrase started coming up a lot. People saying, it might seem like you're going to be safer. Now, if we give away these freedoms, but trust me long term, you're not going to like what happens. And I would assume that 20 Some years later, that's proven out to be true. And now, you know, listen, I don't want to get into a political art. I don't know what we've saved by ignoring people's rights, or you know what we have, and but that was in my head, around diabetes. Like, I want to be safe right now, but not at the expense of her life. And then I ended up having a conversation with somebody early on in the podcast, whose type one son, he passed away in college, got the flu, and he fell asleep, and he just never woke up again. It's a terrible story. But during that conversation, his mother said to me, I would rather have him had 20, some years of a great life than 45 years of a soso life. And I thought that was a really brave thing to say out loud. And I certainly don't want my daughter to pass away or you know, anything like that. But I also don't want to look up and see that she's like, this 50 year old with this milk toast existence where she never leaves her house because she's scared and like, so anyway, I didn't, I didn't think it was worth giving up a little bit. Now for an end trading later, is kind of how I saw it. But anyway, that sorry, that was way off course. But no, that's

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 38:57
great. Yeah, I like I appreciate the quote, I think it's the challenge is, in this example, we don't we can't predict the future, right? Like there's no certainty around your if you're in X number for this many days or this many years, this for sure is going to happen. And so when we don't have firm data, but we're trying to control something that's hard to control, fear and stress and anxiety creep in. And I think when you find yourself in this dilemma, that is common, it really is of how you're going to manage your child's diabetes, to practice like that, that calm patient empathy piece because both both of you are scared of something or scared and both of you want your child to be safe. Like that's about that. That is the bottom line.

Scott Benner 39:49
The truth is you paint this picture and some people's minds see it one way and some people's minds even the thing I just said about the liberty and the safety there half the people heard it and went, No, I want to be safe today, we'll see what happens later. And half the people said, I'm willing to take the risk for the bigger picture. And it doesn't make either of you right or wrong. Like it really doesn't, you know, and then this so what do you do? Kind of what do you tell people when they come to the office with us?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 40:16
Well, oftentimes, as we, as we learn that diabetes, there might be some already some issues of, you know, communication, but the, there's marital stress, and then you throw in a chronic illness into it, and it just brings everything to the forefront. Getting to the baseline of really trying to connect on the empathy piece usually softens. people to say, you know, I really hear that you want my child to be safe, and that you're scared. And then the other person would say the same thing. And trying to connect once you can connect with empathy, then there's, there's room for movement. Yeah. And then you say, okay, then you find a middle ground. But when you're stuck in like, No, this is the only way and this is the only thing. You know, there's when you can't connect to empathize with the other person, you're stuck in your space. Right? Emotionally. Okay?

Scott Benner 41:08
No, it makes a ton of sense to me. What if I just married an idiot? And what if that happened? What if I'm looking across the table, I'm like, his dummy, here, he goes again. And they're saying something ridiculous that there are people who just like, don't care about high blood sugars at all, because they don't understand diabetes at all. And you see those conflicts, I mean, the amount of people I hear who, especially in the divorce situation, send their kids somewhere else who looks they look completely, like a different type one on the weekend than they do during the week, and the kid feel hireable and you know, all this other stuffs going on, and you don't have all of the tools at your disposal that you would if you were married or together. And you know what I mean by that like, right, like the you know, once you're split up, the other person has the opportunity to just go, I don't care what you think. And then that's it. When you're together. At least people are like, well, I want to be harmonious. Like, you know, for the most part, you think that's people's goal, you lose a lot. I hate to say it like this, you lose a lot of your leverage when you're not in the same house. Right? Isn't it weird to talk about feelings, but reality at the same time? Yes, it really is, isn't it? Because there is a way, if we all just like flower child, and you know, had the 60s coming out of our ears, we'd all just be like, it's cool, we'll do it. It'll be fine. Like, listen to each other. And then you get into the real, like, what happens to people, when you put them in these situations, like what happens to a mom, when they realize the Father's gonna leave the kids blood sugar, like 350 all weekend turned, that person turns into like a mercenary. You know, they're like, I'm not going to let that happen. Like, bah, bah, bah. And then you hear some people go, I can't say anything. Because if I say anything, he calls the lawyer because the lawyer that I might lose, it's such a terrible scenario to be in for certain, but But you're saying your best chance at it, is to empathize with the other person, get them to emphasize empathize with you. And then it kind of releases a little bit of that stress. And maybe then there's a middle ground, you can find each other. And

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 43:07
yes, I mean that that's best case, scenario, yes to like, soften and connect on the fear, the unknown. And your goal. Like your goal is to keep your child safe. And oftentimes, it's really, it's hard. If it's hard, if we're discovering that it's hard for the partners to move. Sometimes what I learned is that when a parent is maybe more involved and does all the appointments, and knows maybe a little bit more, this isn't always the case, but just is more involved in the child's management. And so often what can be also be beneficial is to bring the other partner into the fold, like going to the appointments, having scheduling appointments with, you know, a CDC s so someone who can who is not it maybe if therapy isn't working, then to go to a professional who can speak truth into what they are fearing is worst case scenario, and preventing them from wanting to budge. So to have like an expert can be also helpful to speak on the matter or listen to a podcast.

Scott Benner 44:16
You're the professional. I'm just going to tell you from a from a male's perspective, just ask your question while you're changing at night. And I'm pretty much going to agree that anything so like just you know, as you're like taking off your shirt and go into your pajamas. That's when you mentioned like oh, yeah, that makes total sense to me. There you go.

Speaker 1 44:31
Yeah. But keeping again at 120 Think

Scott Benner 44:36
whatever you think is fine with me. I don't want to listen, I've said it before. I'll say it again. If I was a lady, I wouldn't have these kinds of problems. But that's because I know how I know how I think I'd be pretty good. I'd be pretty good at keeping myself under control. It's just a fact of life. Like I'm gonna go back to what I said a second ago like these conversations. They always perplexed me a little bit like I was mentioned to somebody the other day I talked to Eric and I, we have these great conversations where we talk through how people think. And undoubtedly, at the end of that conversation, I think we should all just give up, this is never going to work out. It's that mix, it finally hit me today. It's the mix of feelings, and what's right, and what would work if everybody was on the same page. And the reality of how people can in a split second get defensive, or their ego could take over and they start, they lose sight of the goal. And just, you know, I don't know, they crawl into feels like they backed themselves into a corner. And then everyone's attacking at that point. Yes. I mean, you got to do something. So I like your idea better than, than anything else. I've heard. What happens, okay, so what happens, I understand that I'm one side of the coin. And I know, this is what we got to be going for this empathy and finding a middle, the other person won't flex on it. So you're saying, maybe bring them into the reality of it a little more, so maybe they'll see it a little differently. But if you say to somebody, I'd like to speak to a therapist. I mean, the person who's already feeling backed into a corner is not likely going to feel good about that idea. I would imagine,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:11
when option or example could be, gosh, we are we're obviously having a really hard time finding a middle ground and how, where are we, where we both feel comfortable trying to keep our child's blood sugar in this in this particular range? How like, I can't, I'm just modeling, right? So I can't keep doing this. We're fighting all the time. Our child's blood sugar is going up and down, up and down. Like inviting your partner into like, how can we figure this out? Because clearly, I don't think you want to do this either day in day out arguing about the numbers, how we're going to manage? And so then presenting options like what do you think it'd be helpful for us to go see a therapist to work on like our communication and understanding? Should we go meet with a diabetes educator to learn more about like, the some of the truths? Should we meet with our Endo? She can we listen to these these podcasts series? Like what do you think is helpful? Because I know we're both miserable and how we're figuring this

Scott Benner 47:11
out. And guys, if you're hearing those words, I just do it, or that's how you end up living above a pizza place. So seriously, I'm not kidding, because women, you're nice, women are more emotionally intelligent, the men generally speaking, so like, you know, so you're gonna, at some point, someone in the relationship is going to value the child safety more than the relationship. And if you're on the wrong side of that conversation, that is when you end up living overtop of a pizza place. So which is just what used to happen to the guys in my town, which is why it's my example, when they get divorced. But, but But seriously, like, these conflicts can't go on forever. Like they won't, somebody is going to step up and put an end to it one way or the other. And, I mean, the way it happens in in unresolvable situations is a dissolution of your family. So if that's not your goal, maybe swallow whatever pride is keeping you from being involved in these conversations, and just just go for it. Because I mean, that, to me seems like what ends up happening, if somebody doesn't, I don't even want to say bend. But if they can't find themselves interested in hearing other perspectives. Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 48:21
I will say I, I think it's important to also praise though, that this in this example, both partners are feels like they're equally invested. Right? Like they're, they're both wanting the best. It's not just one parent, managing the whole thing and carrying the burden. So there is there is a positive aspect to the fact that there is this conflict, right, because usually means that both partners are equally trying to help do all the things to manage the diabetes, I

Scott Benner 48:53
think it's important before we move to the last piece, I think it's important to say to these conversations, these conflicts or instances, whatever happens, a lot of the work that helps you gets done privately later, in your own mind, like reflecting going over what happened and saying to yourself, Is this really the outcome I wanted here? If it's not, what could I have done that would have helped this, you know, get to a better place? I think that's like we talked about all the time it gets so you're so busy, and went to hell to even talk to each other. And that's where although you're married now, so you could use this time used to have sex and talk then. But, but but like, when do you even do those things? And I think the answer is when you're alone, like you've got to go over them again, and you can decide to piss yourself off about it, or you can decide to try to come to a resolution and I anyway, I think a lot of the work gets done quietly in your own head sometimes. So anyway, it's my opinion. Yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 49:50
No, that's it. That's a great point. Yep. Reflecting kind of thinking about the, your partner's opinion. Thinking about like, what is it what Why am I scared? Why am I fearful? Why am I refusing to budge? Or listen or consider alternative?

Scott Benner 50:07
Tell people one more time when you find yourself rubbing up against something more often than not? You're afraid for reasons you don't know. Right? Yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 50:15
yeah. Yes. Fear often drives, anxiety, irritability, even even, you know, sadness or depression. But if we're, sometimes we were not even aware that we are fearful. But we're just operating in this kind of panic, high stress. Go, go, go, go go. But when we kind of can have pause and say, Okay, what am I? Why, what am I scared about? Why am I scared? How can I reduce or kind of assuage or calm some of this fear? And maybe it's grieving? Maybe it's processing? Maybe it's learning, there might be different avenues to address some of that fear. Okay.

Scott Benner 50:59
So your last bit here effective strategies for co parenting communication and conflict resolution?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 51:04
Yes. So as we say, it's you just joked, I mean, like, likely you need to, it's important if you are in in a committed relationship, just like it's important to schedule time for physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, date nights, it's also important to schedule time and not on a frequent basis unless you need to, like how to solve problems, how to help eight, how are we gonna solve problems? And when are we gonna talk about that? So scheduling it in and also checking in with your with your partner, and even if it's if you're separated or divorced to say, hey, when's a good time for you to connect? Let's let's schedule it in the calendar, holding also trying to be aware of is the person going to be tired? Like even when you're asking, you know, having these considerations, how am I feeling and checking in with yourself as well as having that awareness of your partner right? To book it book the time? I'm

Scott Benner 52:01
just gonna throw in my two cents here. Don't ever say to a person now's not a good time to talk to this, you're obviously tired. Think that and then schedule a time later? Don't Don't tell them. You just Yeah, yeah, that's called poking the bear. So

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 52:20
already, you're saying like, we're both really tired? Can we plan to talk about this, you know, tomorrow at a certain time, this one, this next point, I think is this tool or strategy is really hard. I just want to highlight this, but it's also really important, whether or not you are in the same household or not co parenting, to do your best to never speak ill will or negatively or condescendingly about the other parent to your children. And it's really easy to do when you're so angry because they didn't do what you like you couldn't agree on something, or you have your own personal issues. It feels really easy to say, Gosh, Joey, isn't isn't daddy just a real jerk? Or like, you know, when you're hurting? Yeah, you are hurting as a human being. And it can feel good to get that like connection or validation from your child. You it could be just like you're doing it just venting. Sometimes you're not doing it intentionally. But it is like this triangulation that can occur of like, you really want to make sure that you and whatever name I just use Joey are staying connected. Right. So you want to ostracize the other parent. Again, this happens I know and parenting households together different households. And it's really, it's really hard to do. But so important to not do that. And I can explain why. But sorry. Go ahead. No,

Scott Benner 53:56
yeah, tell me why. Also, I just want you to know that if this wasn't part of a series, I would definitely name this episode Joey eats paste. But that's good. I know, people would look and go, Oh, what is this about?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 54:10
But it could be like the subtitle Yeah, please. But

Scott Benner 54:13
yeah, why would we not want to do that? Why do I not want to like turn to my kid and go, Hey, you see, she's crazy, right? Like, like, like, Why do I not do that?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 54:23
So kind of similar to our earlier point of the A, it's undermines the authority. So when you go when Joey goes to the other parents house or staying in the same household, and that parent is going to try and correct admonished discipline, praise whatever it is. After a while, if Joey keeps hearing how terrible the other parent is, he's just he's going to just totally dismiss it. Right? So it undermines the the other parents authority and this, like trust like every child wants to believe I mean, unless unless there's serious abuse and trauma and all of that, but if every parent, every child wants to believe that both of their parents are loving and trustworthy and safe, they just do. And they always want to hope for the best. And, and even when, you know, parents, when two people divorce, a child still will often even into their older, you know, adult years long for mom and dad, parents to to get back together. It's just, it's very natural longing. And so that when one parent undermines or criticizes another parent to the child, that trust is violated. And the child's gonna get they're confused, like, Well, who am I supposed to believe who who is safe, who loves me? Who can I really trust in this world, and you're wanting to develop still secure attachments. So it's really, it can be really, really detrimental. But again, it's really hard to do, particularly when you're hurting as a parent,

Scott Benner 55:59
right? But the goal in all of this, as we're talking, I realize, again, is it's just giving the child a feeling that's real, that is centered and safe and loved. Like that's what they need to feel while they're growing up. And the rest of it kind of works itself out. But the minute you start doing these things, you know, bickering in front of them not having unified front, making it seem like I don't trust what the other person is saying, or actually coming right out and saying, Hey, I you know, privately, too, it's even worse, it's sinister almost to pull a kid aside and say, hey, you know, we don't listen to mom about this, or we don't dad's a jerk or whatever. Like that kind of stuff. It's so disorienting for children. Yes. And then it to the story, I told you the beginning, you're building on to this person, and taking them in slightly different directions all the time. And the further you get away from that center, the more trouble you're going to have, as you grow up, and you're not going to see it happening. While it's happening. It's going to be one of those things, where you gonna be 65 years old, and sitting back and looking at your 40 year old kid and thinking, Oh, I've got up and it's gonna be too late, then, you know, so I think put the kid first, put the security of the relationship first, make sure everybody knows they're loved. And I think you hope for the best after that. But yeah, if you mess up the if you mess up the I know, I've talked about this before, but like I see life as this like tree that starts at a seed. And they it splits into branches. At some point, you make a decision to go right or left. And you keep making those decisions along the way until you've made millions of unperceived decisions, and you end up where you end up. Because of that, there's no plan to get to the right place, whatever that is, all you can do is make the best decisions in the moment. And trust that it's going to work out a little bit. But if you think you take that idea and translate it into the maturation of a child, every little time you go left, when you should have went right, or something like that, or you take an opportunity to hit on a spouse or you know, do one of these things that we're talking about that are just kind of like I mean, really what you're making here is a list of the do's, like like, you know what I mean? Like, here's the thing is really to avoid, every time you do those things, you just end up further and further away from where, where you started. And I think that's how so frequently, you'll see somebody in the world as an adult and think we all started off as kids with the same chance. How did this one get here? And I think this is how it happens in these tiny little moments that you don't really value at that time as important that when you build them all together, turn into a roadmap, you know, I don't know. I could be yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 58:46
No, I think I think it's all true. I think I also want to highlight, you know, that these moments might happen here and there. Right? Like, you might be so irritated with your partner and you're doing something else. You're like, Oh, I'm so frustrated. Why did you do that and your kid hears or whether it's direct or indirectly, your child hears you say something. It's still you can still go back and correct and repair right to say, Joey, you know what, I was so frustrated at dad when this happened. And I was venting and I said these things and that really wasn't for your ears. And I should have just I should have shared that with, you know, kept it to myself shared it with a friend, family member, whatever it is.

Scott Benner 59:33
Yeah, I'm not saying If you yell total at your spouse, that Joey's a serial killer now like, you know, like, I don't want you to like, I don't want you to think that you shouldn't sit around and scrutinize this is what Eric is. She's trying to stop me from saying to people scrutinize every like tiny little moments because she knows it'll make people crazy. I don't mean that. I mean, in these big moments, there's better answers than and you're not always making them like people No one questions themselves, because it would be maddening. If you constantly requesting yourself it would make you that would be mental illness.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:08
Right? Like if you're up that's yeah, sometimes that's called anxiety. Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 1:00:11
Right. And so there's a way to just prep yourself ahead of time, so that you make better, you know, decisions in the moment and then let it fly and see what happens. Like they're not going to turn out great. Don't worry about but they could be some version of good, that will be really lovely. So, you know, that's why I think anyway, screw it. Do whatever you want with your kids. I don't care. This is what happened to me at the end of every hour.

Unknown Speaker 1:00:36
Y'all are doing a great job. We're doing great job.

Scott Benner 1:00:40
Our best, everyone's doing a great job. Listen, I said to this person that I referenced in the beginning of the episode, I said, I wish I could stay alive for 50 more years, I'd love to interview you, again. 25 years from now, she was like 26. I said, because I've interviewed so many people in their 60s, who look back at their lives. And they tell these sometimes horrifying stories. And yet, they're okay. Until you can see your life as like this one big picture, it's hard to know that the thing that happened between 1978 1981 wasn't that big of a deal. Or like you don't even worry, it was just a growth moment, or you learn from it, or it was hard and nothing good came out of it. But you're still alive and you're happy 25 years later. And I sometimes talk to people and I'm like, Oh, you're on the way to this. Like, I don't have the luxury of time to step back far enough to be sure that I'm right. But you're a person who's on a way to that being the reality. I think most people are on the way to that being their reality. You know, so I mean, I'm sure any of appealing Yeah, in a situation that have bad health, or misfortune doesn't follow you that at the end of your life, if somebody could be the biographer of you and retell your life back to you, you'd go, I'm real good with this, you know, and I just, I had that opportunity because I talk to people who are older sometimes and I get to, like, you know, in some short way, and an hour and a half break their entire life down. And you can see they this has been a good life, it was full of great things, it was full of bad things, it was full of most days that were just kind of okay. But when they reflect on it, they go hmm, I'm proud of this. So anyway, I think that'll happen for everybody. It's just not much of a podcast, if we sit down and talk about just go for it, it'll probably be fine. Cuz for some of you, it ain't gonna go great if you do that. But you know, like, and who knows who's who. So why not put the work in? And, you know, that's my opinion. Just put the work in and hope for the best. Pretty much what I do. So,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:02:39
I don't know. Yes,

Scott Benner 1:02:41
I know, these recordings are gonna exist somewhere. Erica one day when my kids are just like, you know, hijack a jetliner and like, take 200 people to Brazil or something and like, they're on the news and that and people are gonna be like, Oh, that guy's got a seven part series about parenting. You should go listen to like, god dammit. All right. Let's hope not. Because kids are starting a cartel up somewhere. Somebody whips out this recording. And they're like, Oh, she had some good thoughts. Oh, good. Yeah, hell, whatever. Good luck, everybody. I'll see you later.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:03:17
Bye.

Scott Benner 1:03:24
Learn more about Erika and see if she is able to help you in the state you live in. Erica has a few states that she can help. What's the word I'm looking for virtually. Or of course, if you're a California resident, she can see you privately, or virtually. Erica forsyth.com. She's delightful. She has type one diabetes for over 30 some years. And she specializes in talking to families who are living with type one, Erica forsyth.com. I'd like to thank cozy Earth. This is their first full year of being sponsors on the Juicebox Podcast and I want to thank them they're coming back in 2024 because of the way you guys are using the offer code juicebox at checkout at cozy earth.com. So thanks to them. And of course thank you to you. If you're looking for community around your diabetes, check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. If you're listening in an apple podcast app, can you please take a moment to check your download settings. Apple has made some adjustments to the app and it might be stopping you from seeing episodes. That's in the settings of your app. So oh gosh, how do you do this into the apple podcast app. Go to the show itself so like library then touch the show then up at the top right corner there's these three dots you touch those you go to Settings, then you go down to automatic download are automatically downloaded. Check that by going into that menu. Sorry, let us is very clear. And then scroll to the bottom and choose download all episodes. That's if you do that, and you're following the show, it would really be helpful. So if you're listening in an Apple app, please follow. If you're following, please check your automatic downloads. And if you're listening somewhere else, Spotify, anywhere, overcast turn on those downloads. Make sure you're following or subscribing. Following and subscribing mean the same thing, just different apps use one word and some apps use another word. So follow subscribe, download, you'll really be helping out the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

#1085 Weight Loss Diary: Eight

Scott is taking Wegovy for weight loss. This is diary number eight.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1085 of the Juicebox Podcast

Hey everybody, welcome back. This is my eighth installment of my we go V diary. As you may know each week, Ovi diary is a few minutes of recording around my injections that are once weekly. I go over my weight what I've experienced that week, so on and so forth. A lot of people have been enjoying it so we're keeping going. I cry at one point and this one so I apologize. Anyway, nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're looking for community around anything, really type one diabetes type two. If you're using we go V or ozempic Check out my private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes 43,000 members. What a great collection of people I think you'll love it. If you're looking to save 40% off of your entire purchase at cozy earth.com just use my offer code juice box at checkout. That's for clothing, sheets, towels, everything they have 40% off, use the offer code juice box at checkout. I have recently had to buy myself some new clothing because my size went down and I got summit cozy earth this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one touched by type one.org. You want to see a great organization doing wonderful things for people with type one diabetes, follow touch by type one on Instagram, Facebook, and check out their website touched by type one.org. The podcast is also sponsored today by us med us med is where we get our diabetes supplies from and you can to us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check and get started with us man. Hey everyone, it's November 7 election day. And it's time for me to shoot my we go V 2.4 milligrams. It's gonna be a pretty short episode, not episode but I don't know I'm already confused. Hold on. Somebody pointed out to me I drink water when I'm making the big O V diary. But you never hear me do it on the podcast. It's interesting. Listen, I want to talk a little bit about like long term view this morning. My weight is exactly the same as it was last week on this day. 196. Six, I think was the number. And I'm completely fine with that my wife's been sick. There's been a lot of comfort food around the house. And I think I maybe have learned that I don't have to be constantly losing weight to be doing the right thing. So I don't know how helpful that is if you're in a different part of this journey, but at the moment, I've been at this since March. And I ate pizza this week. Ice cream at some point, if I'm not mistaken. I had a chicken sandwich the other night that I don't think was good for me. And I didn't gain any weight. So we go V is magical. And I that now gives me an opportunity to reset myself or think differently or whatever. Step back maybe and see this as a much longer process. You know, in the past, if I was like trying to lose weight, I would have thought like, well, you know, in a month I'm gonna lose this much. And, you know, if I make a mistake or I slip up, I'll go backwards and then I gotta get right back to it. I don't have any of those thoughts anymore. Just I lived like a fairly normal human being this week. I didn't overeat or under eat. I had a couple of things that I don't think calorically were valuable for me. And I did not gain weight I didn't bloat I don't look different. My clothes still fit. And that's because of this. As we go V right here. That's what this pen is why that happened this week. So my opportunity here is to just sort of, you know, you guys listen to the last diary, a lot of traveling, some expected some unexpected over the last couple of weeks. I just I'm off my game. I'm not getting up in the morning and eating the right things I've you know, skip some of my supplements here and there. Last couple of weeks. It's just been bad. It's been not it hasn't been bad. It hasn't been optimal for my success. But now back and I'm settled. And I got through this week and my wife's feeling better. And I feel like Today's a new day, but I don't feel like I wasted time. I don't feel let down. I didn't go backwards. And I think looking back on again, other attempts to lose weight that going backwards, just takes all the I mean, you just lose your momentum, you lose your hope and you think it's never going to work. But instead, when we go V, I got to have an off couple of weeks, and I'm still in it. Like, I'm not just did it I'm doing great. So Let's inject it again and get moving and let and here's to having a long term outlook on things. And not not quite so I'm not quite so just short term and like, what do I have right now? Like, you know, that kind of a way we live now where everything's expected right away, like, now, like, I find myself in the thought process where if, if this whole thing takes two years, I don't think I could possibly care less because I've got, I've got some success to build off of, and it takes more time, it makes more time. Anyway, this might be off putting, because it's it's like getting cold here now. So I'm not in as much like stretchy material, like, I usually, like make the podcast and like sweatpants or shorts. But now I'm wearing pants and I have a belt on because like, you know, I lost all my button everything. So I need a belt. So you're gonna hear me undo my belt to do the weego be shot and I apologize for that advance. Because it seems like it's weird. But anyway, I was toying with the idea of not shooting it in my stomach. This time. I was thinking about doing it in my butt. Or just changing locations once just to see if that like there are people online who swear that does something it doesn't seem that doesn't seem scientific to me. But I thought maybe I'll just try it one time. So bear with me while I take off my pants and try to decide where else I can do this. Sorry. So I think I could probably do my thigh no problem, but like, is it gonna be like with insulin where you shoot it in your thigh and then the big muscle kind of my butt is? I could do my butt. I could do my butt. What a funny sentence. All right, hold on a second. i This is for you guys, because I would have this. If this wasn't being recorded, I would have just chickened out and put it in my stomach already, but I can alright. I've never done this before. That's interesting. I can reach it. And I can pinch it Yeah, I can. Alright, I'm gonna stick this week over in my ass. And don't you know what I mean? Don't be like that I'm nervous. Isn't that weird? Why am I nervous? Alright, let me get the meat get my ass near the microphone. This is the first two all right here we go. Oh my god. Why am I so nervous? Isn't this where everybody puts their shots

it's then I put the week over here my but it didn't hurt. You're all like Yeah, no kidding. Alright, I'm done. I might I usually hold it in for a minute to make sure it's all done so it's done. Put that right my ass like it was nothing took it like a champ, baby. Anyway, have a long term view. I think that's really important. That's one thing I've taken away from these months so far. really step back, look at things macro. Don't be in such a hurry. But don't ignore the fact that if you have a setback with weight loss, it can. That setback can snowball on you. And I think the weego V has helped me to keep that from being a snowball and stuff like this happens. Anyway, I'll see you next week. Sup kids. It is November 14. It has been seven days since I last spoke with you in my life. Gonna be a short one today. Doing a live event tonight and recording an episode and working so hard to get moving here. But if today's vignette had a name, I think it would be piston pleased. And I'll tell you why. Pull up the app here. I lost weight. But I lost more weight in the first four days and then gained some of it back in the last couple. My wife and I have been going to lunch on Saturdays now that our kids aren't home. We've been like having like a standing lunch date. I wanted chicken wings. And I picked this place. That I guess it was just like, again, like over salted or something. This is I'm now noticing this as a behavioral issue, but 190 6.6 That's what I weighed on the seventh of November 190 6.6 The next day On the eighth, I was 195. Eight. The next day on the ninth 194, eight, and I thought to myself, this injecting the weego V in my butt. Is this having an impact? Who knows? like, Nah, but then the next day, Nov 10 190 4.2. That was my, I just like that's my lowest weight ever. That's the lowest weight I've hit since I've been doing this. One more day goes by 193 Eight. I was like this is it gonna be 150 pounds before would like six more weeks? Yeah, then we went for the wings. And I woke up the next day. 195 Six. That was let's call that upsetting. And today 196 even. So I guess I lost point six pounds this week, which is terrific. But I was 190 3.8 at some point. That's like literally three pounds less than I am today. And I honestly think it was that one food choice. Shrimp and chicken from a bar that just probably had it and over salted food and stuff. I didn't need any carbs when I was there. I don't think I may have had like, honestly for French fries. And a little piece of bread. But that was it. He was just all that sodium and it just hoof anyway sorry if it's loud my neighbor's a lovely person but he he picks up his leaves every three days in the fall. It's not something I completely understand it. Anyway. Piston pleased I'm pleased I lost weight. I'm pissed that apparently I lost 3.6 pounds and put three back on. But I'm just gonna go forward this week with the idea that that isn't going to happen. And just do it again and see what happens. Right? So got my week over here. 2.5 milligrams. And I'm just gonna say it let's put it in my ass again. Right because that seemed like it might work. Can you hear that? Unbelievable.

I gotta record in like 10 minutes just hear it shut off. It's like the fucking jet engine. It's crazy. Sucks those leaves up like, like that. Damn, when he's done. It looks like he doesn't listen to us. Yo, man if you're listening to this What's up? I love you. I'm just talking about the thing I get its podcast get talking about stuff. When he's done his grass looks greener. Like he painted it green. There's not a stitch of dirt or leaf or stick on it. The thing it works amazing. It's just really loud. Anyway, we go V 2.4 By the way, for those you not listening, the men Jarno people is that Lilly, I don't know. They they put their drug in for weight loss and it got it through the FDA. I don't know what they're calling it but majorna is gonna be available under a different name for weight loss like we go V is available for weight loss, but really is just those Empik at different doses. Alright, let me expose my buttocks found it. It's right where I left it. I can't reach it. Is it going away? What the hell? I like do that. How do you people do this with insulin? I gotta pinch. You gotta pinch I gotta pinch here it goes

so after a hold on, I'll be back in a second. Pull up my pants. Sorry. Something I bet you thought you never hear on a podcast. After the three pounds in the middle of the week. My wife's like what do you do or if differently? I said I put the widow via my ass. So the other day we put it my wife's ass. Everybody who has diabetes has diabetes supplies, but not everybody gets them from us med the way we do us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omni pod dash. The number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, and they always provide 90 days worth of supplies and fast and free shipping. That's right us med carries everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing stuff lies right up to your latest CGM, like the FreeStyle Libre two, n three, and the Dexcom, G six and seven. They even have Omni pod dash and Omni pod five, they have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau, and you can reach them at 888-721-1514. Or by going to my link us med.com forward slash juicebox. When you contact them, you get your free benefits check. And then if they take your insurance, you're often going and US med takes over 800 private insurers and Medicare nationwide. better service and better care is what US med wants to provide for you. Us med.com forward slash juicebox get your diabetes supplies the same way Arden does from us med links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors, when you use my links, you're supporting the show. Hey, everybody, it's November 21. And pretty much the way it's been going is the way it's going. I pulled up my weight here. But basically, I'm losing a little more weight in the first few days of the week. And then putting it back towards the end, and then ending about a half a pound lighter. So seems kind of par for the course at this point, as you know, is 196 on the 14th. On the 16th I was 195 on the 18th If I was 194 Eight, but by the time I got to this one, the first 195 Six, which is cool. It's still, let's see, point for about a half a pound loss. I'll take that. And overall 37.8 pounds. Pretty great. I've been to 41 time, but like I said, I think I was dehydrated for that. So no big deal. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. So pretty wicked. We'll see how that goes. I don't think it's going to be impactful on my weight one way or the other. Honestly, I you know, I'm not going to eat a ton of food. So I don't see that as being an issue. What else did I want to tell you about Oh my My wife talked about. My wife talked about this thing. She's online. She's online, that's not English. She's in a group online, where people are using we go v. And this person described that they had been on we go away for a couple of years, I guess they lost all the weight they meant to lose, doing great maintaining Well, everything's going fine. And then one day, like zip their insurance just doesn't cover it anymore. But the person said, doesn't matter. I'm down to my weight, like, right, I look terrific. I feel terrific. I'm just gonna keep doing the things I'm doing. I'm gonna eat the same way I'm gonna exercise same way I'm gonna do all the same things. And the person said that they did that they didn't change anything about their intake or their activity or anything else about their life. They just stopped taking the week OB because their insurance took it away. And they gained their way back. Just gradually started to come back. And then right back to where it was. So if there's not such a thing as a GLP deficiency, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Anyway, there's been a couple of announcements of other companies bringing stuff to market this week. I'm excited about that. i There's part of me that thinks that this 2.4 week Ovie maybe it's not quite enough for me, because you know, the first four days of the week, I'm losing weight, and then it kind of dies off. So something's not working exactly right. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it and see if we can't figure it out. Anyway, short one today, I got to go buy a turkey. Actually, I bought the turkey just gotta go pick it up. Should I stick this in my butt again, on my belly or actually, I don't want to pull my pants off. So I'm gonna do my belly this time. If I don't lose a half a pound next week, I'm going to be like, Hey, what the hell I still have some belly here. Ready

Okay, a lot of great feedback about the weego V stuff recently online. I appreciate that very much. And hold on. Toss that right in the trash can. That was 2.4 As I've been taking for quite some time now and have some things I want to talk about bigger ideas about weight loss, but I'm gonna hold them until after the holiday. So I mean for you. It'll be just a second from now but for me, it'll be a week. All right, guys. Got my headphones on here. What's up everybody? November 28. Scott has learned a lot. I'm going to share it with you. It's my we go We plan to get my app out. So it was Thanksgiving last week, and I decided to do a little experiment. Here's how it went. On Thanksgiving Day was the Thanksgiving Day. The 20. Now, excuse me on the 21st. I was with you last. That was Tuesday. Today's 28th Yes, Thanksgiving was the 23rd. So last time I was with you on Tuesday, I weighed 190 5.6. On Thanksgiving morning, I was 190 5.4. Now, I purposefully did not weigh myself again until yesterday. I just was like, I'm just going to do Thanksgiving, and I'm going to see what happens. Well, let me tell you what happened. I'm going to try to paint a quick picture about food for you. I do all cooking here. I made handmade stuffing. The day or so before Thanksgiving. I made four pies, pumpkin and apple. I made chocolate chip cookies. That's what I pre cooked. On the day. I put a turkey in the oven and I put a turkey a turkey on the smoker. We had people over I made like two different kinds of Turkey because you know, I was just showing off. But like she just wanted to try smoking in Turkey both worked out really well. They were terrific. Mashed potatoes, the stuffing that I already talked about that I made myself. I saw applesauce, some green beans. There were sweet potatoes, some vegetables, maybe carrots if I'm remembering correctly. But when I sat down I just took turkey stuffing mashed potatoes a tiny bit of gravy. I don't think I had anything else. I ate the food. It was not a lot in comparison to what I would have eaten the Thanksgiving before it was less. I had a slice of pie later in the night. I do think I had a cookie. The next day we got up we actually went to lunch. We went to a diner where I had some for some reason I can't explain more turkey. A slice of bread handful of French fries. We stopped at a bakery because we were having people over my wife grabbed a pancake, a small pancake and some cookies. At some point over the weekend I had a slice of that pancake to have those sugar cookies. And over the weekend, somebody brought pizza I had two slices of pizza. Because there's a lot of eating especially for having been on recovery for a while. But in my mind, like in the in the memory of the person I used to be. I didn't think I was eating like insanely I was eating more than I would normally Sunday. Gosh, I had leftover turkey, Thanksgiving stuff like turkey mashed potatoes, stuffing and a slice of pie. And I had some ice cream. That is I've just told you there was candy in the candy dish to like so assume at some point there was a handful of gummy bears spread out over a weekend. So that's what I've eaten from Thanksgiving morning until Sunday. I woke up on Monday and weighed myself. Not today. Yesterday. I woke up yesterday. I was 4.2 pounds heavier than I was on Thanksgiving morning. That food I just described to you. Not only it was food that I don't normally eat anymore, but it slowed down my digestion. My elimination almost completely shut off. I'm not I wasn't using the bathroom correctly over the weekend. I wasn't even expelling water waste correctly. Like the way I don't I wasn't I wasn't even paying the way I usually do. Just eating that food over four days through my body into turmoil and added for I think it was like 4.2 or 4.4 pounds to me. That's insane. But then I weighed myself Monday yesterday. Got up had my coconut milk yogurt had two eggs. I had some chicken for dinner. actually still think I had a scoop of leftover ice cream last night. I did. But I woke up today 190 7.4 I lost two pounds in 24 hours by not eating the things that I made for Thanksgiving. That's all I did. I just went back to how I had been eating in the past. I dropped two of those pounds in 24 hours. So this morning, I'm 190 7.4 which is literally two pounds heavier than I was the last time I talked to you. Not quite two pounds. 2.9 A little less than two pounds and I was last week 190 5.6 Last week 190 7.4 Now, next week, I'll be eating normally again, I don't know where I'll be. But the takeaway from this week is it's Thanksgiving, everybody eats stuff Saying blah, blah, blah. What if I wasn't on weego? V? What if I would have eaten more? Like what? I've been six pounds heavier in four days? Would I have not weighed myself yesterday and continued eating the stuffing and the leftovers for a few more days? Would I have put 10 pounds on and a week from Thanksgiving? I'm going, maybe that's why I'm saying to myself, maybe I would have instead, because I'm weighing myself tracking my weight taking care of these things. I'm right back to it. The weights going to come off. I might end up losing weight by next week. Based on losing weight from two weeks ago, by next week. I have no idea. But all I can tell you is I looked down and my stomach was starting to stick out again. Like I was bloated. I was like What in the hell is happening? And that saying came to me that I've heard people say so many times. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. That's what I learned this week at Thanksgiving. I don't give a I don't care. I almost cursed. Next year on Thanksgiving. I'm having a goddamn yogurt, no. Egg and that's that. Let's shoot this we go V 2.4 milligrams. I seriously, I felt bad about myself. Yesterday, I got on that scale. And I was like, What did I do to myself? Like, like, before I shoot the week OB What did i What did I lost? But what first of all, let's try to use English while I'm talking what had I lost in total. So I was like, down like 3839 pounds. I put four almost five pounds back on that rough math 13% of the weight I lost. I gained over four days, because of Thanksgiving. And I think probably a little bit being on the tail end of my weego via injection, but that's neither here nor there. All that hard work. March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and in four days, I put 13% of my weight back on. If I stay on this path for another week, I do I put 25% of my weight back on in two weeks. We're not going to find out first of all, but I was blown away by that. I just the food has more impact on you then you think that's all I'm gonna say? And you make whatever decision you want. But things that you write off in your head is Oh, it's a holiday or it's Thanksgiving. It's my brother's birthday. How am I going to skip it? It's Thanksgiving. I can't but Baba, you know how you can 13% That's how we go. He's going in. I'm going downstairs and I'm gonna freakin egg. Scott getting thin. I ain't doing this anymore. Where am I going to put this govi today? I get I got more belly to put it in. I can tell you that much. Was fun when I shot it my butt earlier. But I'm not gonna do it. I think I only like saying it. I just thought you guys would think it was funny. I don't know that I care about where it's at. I'm going right here

part of me thinks I need a little more like I need a bigger dose. But I'm capped out at the top of what we go View offers. So for now, I guess this is the game. Anyway. I really appreciate you guys. Thanks so much. I hope you had a Thanksgiving that was happy. We did had family around was wonderful. Both my kids were here. I can't say enough good things about what happened other than the part where I gained almost five pounds. But I do appreciate the lesson that came with it. I'll see you guys next week. Well, the Thanksgiving massacre is over. I have defeated it. I am back. Let me tell you where to right where I started. But that's okay. So today is December 5, and I weighed 195.8 pounds this morning. Going back to let's see. Today's December 5 Was that make it the 28th was last time right. So the 28th I was you know you heard though the last recording a second ago. 190 7.4. Today 190 5.8. Back on the 21st I was not 190 5.6. So I'm back in the game. I gained five pounds and lost it in the last What 14 days. Cool. More importantly, and this is what this little bit is going to be about. I went clothes, shopping, clothes, shopping, clothes shopping when I say clothes shopping when I buy one thing. I went sock shopping I got one I'm going back next week to get the other one. I went clothes shopping this weekend, not a big purchase just a few items. And my wife and my daughter went with me and I'm just going to share something here with you. I was a fat kid. I don't think I haven't been fat since I was a kid. For four years old, that's the last time my body didn't look like it was carrying weight that it shouldn't be. I have memories of some of my school photos, like burned into my head. My head was so big and round at times. And even though growing up, I felt like people really liked my personality. I never felt like they were completely comfortable with me. And I have no idea if that was real, or if that was how I felt, or if that's how I felt about myself. And I was projecting on those other people, etc, etc. So on and so forth. I put a lot of effort, a ton of effort into exercise in my very late teens and early 20s. And I got down to I don't remember the number honestly. But I remember looking good in a suit when I was like 22. But I don't know what that meant. I've always had a belly and never been particularly like toned. But I was toned. At that point, I was going to the gym constantly and doing cardio and lifting weights and is the best I've ever looked. But looking back, I still had a belly I don't know if I've ever said this on here. But you know what? I don't want to curse because I don't send this one to the editor and I don't want to have to go through it. But what the what the hell, I'll just tell you. I don't have a classic belly like you think of a man's gut. Like a beer belly. That sort of goes like, like a turtle shell. Does that make sense to you? It'd be me it does. I have a belly that hangs at the edge. Like I just gave birth three weeks ago. That's what my stomach looks like. And I hate going clothes shopping. My whole life that

is used to pick fights with my mom when she tried to buy me clothes because I didn't want to put them on and want to look at myself and be disappointed and want to feel fat hated going clothes shopping

but um but this weekend, my daughter wanted to go out and look for clothes for herself. And and instead we looked for me. And it was hard at the beginning because all of those feelings from my whole life came to me and, but I knew I was I knew I lost weight. And I have looked in the mirror a number of times and thought that looked good. So I was excited to get more clothing and thing you do when you're heavy like you buy clothes that are bigger to hide yourself. Because you don't I mean for me like I don't even want to feel the clothing grab you. Because it I don't know how to explain it but it reminds you of where you're you know puffier than you want to be. And, but I don't feel like that anymore. Like now I'm okay that my shirt fits me even though I'm not like I don't know I'm not perfect, but I don't have that horrible feeling. I'm sorry, hold on a second, I apologize. I apologize. Don't mind that my shirt fits tighter now and honestly I look better even though I'm not perfect. I look better in fitting clothing than I realized I look in hanging clothing or stuff that bunches are kind of curtains or something. So I wanted to go get a few new shirts. My daughter's you know, in her second year of fashion school and she wants to make clothing for people and she started handing me things. I was like I'd never would wear this as a matter of fact that I don't like to get away from dark colors because they kind of cover you know visual contours and stuff like that. And I may have had this idea in my head that I don't look good and like colors, bright colors. I'm not okay in like that kind of stuff. But anyway, she handed me this shirt, and I was like oh art I'm not going to look good in that. And she's like, No, try it on, I think you will. So I put it on and I just decided to trust her. And I was like, Okay, I'll buy this one. And I have to be honest with you, I don't know. I don't know how I look at it. But then we kept going. And then I said to her, I want to get, I want to do a little more layering, you know, I want to put some things over things, which is not something I would have done in the past. And she's like, okay, we can get you like a like this and a jacket. And like, she's like, you could put this over that. Anyway, by the time it was over. I didn't hate being there. As matter of fact, I enjoyed it. I had a great time. And I wasn't angry while I was there, or sad. And I was really grateful I thanked my wife and my daughter a bunch of times for coming with me. I wouldn't have known how to pick out some of the clothes she picked out. I never would have picked some of it up off the rack and ends up looking amazing. You know, that's her skill, but I would have never been able to do that on my own. Anyway, I am very regretful that I didn't have this experience

I'm regretful that I didn't have this experience while my mom was alive. So she could have experienced that me and not the one who was yelling at her for no reason. Anyway, I would not have been able to do this without GLP medication and if anyone out there doesn't like it or do you think I'm cheating yourself

I'm gonna put this one out now. Next one will come in a few weeks

a huge thanks to us med for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast please go to us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514. I'd also like to thank touched by type one, and remind you to go to touch by type one.org to see them doing amazing things for people with type one diabetes, and follow them on Facebook and Instagram. Sorry, I cried this one. But, you know, it's been tough and easy and fun. And it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride actually. So this has been quite a year. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

#1084 Dryer Balls

Rachel has type 1 diabetes and a great story.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1084 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today on the Juicebox Podcast, I'll be speaking with Rachel, she's 31 years old, and has had type one diabetes for just a couple of years. This episode goes in so many different directions, I can't really explain it to you here. Rachel has an interesting diagnosis story, and so much more. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. You will receive five free travel packs in a year supply of vitamin D offer free with your first order of ag one at my link drink at one.com/juice box. And you'll save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com When you use the offer code juice box at checkout. If you're looking for community and support, or maybe have a couple of questions, can't find the answer to check out Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes on Facebook. It's a private group with over 43,000 members. And there's a conversation happening right now that you will enjoy

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six and Dexcom G seven. You can learn more and get started right now with my link dexcom.com/juicebox. Today's podcast is also sponsored by us med us med.com/juicebox or call 888721151. For us med is where we get our diabetes supplies from and you can as well use that link or that number to get your free benefits check and to get started today with us med.

Rachel 2:06
Hi, I'm Rachel from Maine. And I have been a type one diabetic since January of 2021. So it's been a little over a year.

Scott Benner 2:22
Oh, that's very recent. How old are you?

Rachel 2:26
I'm 31.

Scott Benner 2:28
Rachel, did you get in the game late?

Rachel 2:32
Oh, yeah, it's a it's really special. How it happened?

Scott Benner 2:36
Is it a story? I think

Rachel 2:40
it is absolutely a thing.

Scott Benner 2:41
I want to hear that.

Rachel 2:44
So it's kind of complex, and there's a lot of parts to it.

Scott Benner 2:49
It's okay, I can pay attention.

Rachel 2:50
I'll okay. Oh, I'll say in the fall of 2021. I was having some insane like the ability eating back pain. And it has to do with like bulged disc and degenerative discs. I've, I have a terrible, terrible spine. And it was to the point where I couldn't walk, I couldn't drive. I'm in grad school. And at the time, I had to withdraw from a class. It was intense. It was it was really painful. And the doctor prescribed oral prednisone a steroid. And it worked. I was able to actually have some quality of life for like a week. And they renewed that prescription for the next week. And kind of midway through that next week, I stopped taking it even though it was making me feel better, because I was up all hours of the night using the restroom and just getting really thirsty. And it was like really just distracting. Almost more so than like pain wouldn't be so yeah. So that basically it was sort of the start of some of my symptoms was just like the excessive drinking and urination. Can

Scott Benner 4:12
I can I can I jump in and ask a question real quick. So I have experience with this. So oral steroids. Prednisone can make your pitch as they say. So they did they tell you that in the doctor's office?

Rachel 4:32
Yeah, no, that was like a like a Yeah, that was like normal and everyone who I've talked to they're like, yeah, no, that can make you happen. So like I really didn't think anything of it.

Scott Benner 4:40
Were you the part about being up at night was just for the bathroom or were you all jacked up like I don't mean like Arnold Schwarzenegger at so.

Rachel 4:48
I don't think I was all backed up. I was able to get like back to sleep immediately. Very sleeper.

Scott Benner 4:54
Okay. Got it.

Rachel 4:57
It wasn't really until I had a calm friends like I was October, at a conference in Chicago in December, and my husband calls me he's like, You want us to spend $800? What did you just buy? And I'm like, Oh, I can't drink the hotel water. So I just bought you and I was there for five days, I bought orange juice and apple juice, and like gallons of water. And like daily, I was drinking gallons and gallons of liquid of all kinds. And this is like, day and night. And I just, I couldn't stop drinking. And at the time, also, I was like, looking back, I was starving to death or starving myself. And I was just snacking all the time. So yeah, I racked up like $800 grocery bill. Just like mostly like 90% liquid.

Scott Benner 5:54
So this is an important distinction to me. Did you buy these things through the hotel? Or did you go to a store to get them? No, I went to a market. Okay. You know, because through the hotel, it could have been a Twix bar and a bottle of Evian for $800. So I wasn't sure but you but you. Oh my gosh. What do you think your house by the way, if you ever asked your husband what he really thought when he saw that he's like, Oh, she's cheating on me. Is that what he thought?

Rachel 6:16
Oh my god. No, he thought I was just bawling out like a gift shops and stuff. And I'm like, pulling out of the gift shop. Yeah. What do you think I'm getting? diamond plated?

Scott Benner 6:30
I have so many spoons that say the Windy City on it. We're gonna give him his gifts for years. When you see what I've done. I know. Okay.

Rachel 6:41
He was. He wasn't impressed. I mean, yeah, I did come back with souvenirs but not not to that extent. How

Scott Benner 6:48
long is this excursion at the mini market? Uh, from the steroids. Are you still on the steroids at that point?

Rachel 6:56
Yeah, no, it was like, two months later. And within that two months, I again, it was just, I was so thirsty. And I was just snacking all the time. Going to the bathroom like 12 times a night. And basically, when I got back from Chicago, like my husband looked at me, he's like, you've lost a lot of weight, like in your face. He's like, I can see it. I lost 10 pounds from October to December. So you know, like, at that point, I'm like, Yeah, we were actually kind of joking. Like, yeah, I probably have diabetes. Ha ha ha. Not not funny. Wait, you

Scott Benner 7:36
really thought that? Hold on? Hold on. Rachel, you thought that what made you think that?

Rachel 7:41
Well, my, my, my niece, she at the time was recently like very, very recently diagnosed with type one nice

Scott Benner 7:52
on your side of the family. Nice on your husband side of the family.

Rachel 7:56
So right, okay, this is where things get kind of muddy.

Scott Benner 8:01
We found someone steal this girl from a mall. And we're trying not to let anybody know.

Rachel 8:08
It's on my side of the family. But she basically it was, how do I say that? She got it from her father, my brother in law. So I kind of knew like my sister. You know, she's been married to her husband for a long time. So I kind of like knew like diabetes, but right when my niece got diagnosed, you know, we the whole family was just kind of like aware of like, oh, here are the symptoms that she has. Is that the other thing? Yeah. So that's how I sort of kind of like, oh, diabetes, like this is kind of similar to what she had. But there's no way because there's no one in my side of the family that actually has type one. So you know, that's impossible. Can

Scott Benner 8:53
I ask another question while you're lamenting? Does your sister have any autoimmune diseases or any women on your side of the family or men? No, no. Okay. Because I mean, your brother in law still gotta mix this thing with the lady. And then so it's hard. It's hard to say it just comes from his side or not? You don't I mean, but yeah, that's true. Yeah. So I was just trying to pick through it to find out. Also, before we get too far away from it, I just want to tell you how jealous I was. When you said that you came home from a trip, and your husband noticed that you lost 10 pounds that you looked very skinny, because I've been losing weight recently. And I went to the dentist office, and I had lost 13 pounds, and I walked in, and I just was like, I'm just gonna wait for my accolades. You know, because I'm, I'm tight with the people in the office, and I walked in and talking and talking and no one said a word and I was like, Oh my God, I've lost 13 pounds and no one can notice.

Rachel 9:51
Oh my god, like,

Unknown Speaker 9:53
I definitely need to lose more if this is happening.

Rachel 9:56
I mean, I don't know I I feel like you must be like this. You're like really close, then you have a lot of dental work done.

Scott Benner 10:03
I mean, I have a fair amount of dental work done more than my fair share, by the way, if God is listening, definitely. It just was upsetting. I was like, damn it, like I wanted to. I wanted someone to like, look and go, Hey, I can tell that thing you're doing is working or blah, blah. They were just nothing. Damn it. Anyway, you just 10 pounds on you. And everybody's like, Oh, she's dying. I'm like, great. Well, yeah, I

Rachel 10:27
don't know. I'm I not. I have never really been like on the heavier side. So I think it was. It was very,

Scott Benner 10:35
I hear what you're saying to me, Rachel. Okay, go ahead. Yeah. All right. I'm fat. Do not go ahead. Tell the rest of your story. Go ahead.

Rachel 10:44
Oh, my gosh. Oh, well. All right. Yeah. Back Back to my niece and my sister. Yeah. Yeah. So again, this is December. Christmas. My, my sister's like, hey, why don't why don't you just try the fingerprick we'll see where we at. And I was on board. We were going to do it. And then I don't know some events happened. And you know, just Christmas how Bob we've basically like, never got to it was kind of on everyone's mind. But again, it was almost like a joking. Joking kind of fashion. Weird. Yeah. And then, and then I'm like, Okay, I'm going to make a doctor's appointment and in that's January, right. And I roll into my primary care physician. I just ate a granola bar. So I'm sure that like, really, really spiked it up extra extra high. And I walk in and I tell the doctor, all my symptoms, everything that's happening. She does the finger prick blood test, and I just read high. And she she was fresh, like two years out of out of her, you know, residency and everything. And she just comes in just like white face and like bait, like very visibly freaking out. Really? Like, Oh, yeah. And I'm like, What's up? She's like, you have diabetes. And I was like, oh, like, Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. We've

Scott Benner 12:19
been joking about this in my family for some months now. So yeah, well, is this I'm sorry. Also, this is Maine in January.

Rachel 12:30
It is and yeah. So like, you know, we're rugged. It's rugged, and you go places, even in a snowstorm. But the medical system up here is not great. And that's part of my story. Okay. She this doctor is wonderful. She's fabulous. And I hope she stays we there's a problem up here. Good doctors not staying? Well.

Scott Benner 12:51
I'm assuming people, people walk outside in the wintertime and think to themselves, I should move anywhere but here. And then they leave I would have think. Don't you think so? Were you born there?

Rachel 13:02
I was. Yeah, I'm a native. My husband is from South Boston. He fell in love with the place and me. So he's up here. But I don't know. I feel

Scott Benner 13:16
like if you're from there, you don't know. You're in the Four

Rachel 13:20
Seasons and not being near other people. It's the place for you.

Scott Benner 13:26
Do you want solitude and leaves? Because if you do main has it. Doctors. No, we don't have those. But so So okay, so she comes in. She gives you the news. You're not shocked. I imagined but still upsetting.

Rachel 13:40
Yeah, yeah. No, it definitely was one of those legs. Surreal moments. I'm like, oh, okay, this is official now. So she she kind of goes in and out of the room. She's calling her like her mentor from like, her residency or whatever, like, just to basically get advice for this because she's never dealt with it. And at the same time, I'm texting my sister who lives in New Hampshire. And I was like, hey, ya know, I just got diagnosed. My agency is like, 14 point something and she's thinking of sending me to the ER, immediately my sister like is on the road. She's like, alright, I'll be there. We're gonna go good. Three hours away from one another. And she's She packs up. Yeah, it was a whirlwind.

Scott Benner 14:31
Oh my gosh. So her daughter, her daughter has type one for how long at this point.

Rachel 14:37
She was, I think maybe like five or six months. Before I was this must

Scott Benner 14:46
have been more upsetting for her than it was for you. Maybe even maybe she just felt I

Rachel 14:51
think so. And but I mean, she got she was so great. She came and she you know in Er at the time it was, you know, we know, visitors or guests were allowed. And it was almost like busting down the door because the folks at the ER were basically like really ticked off at my doctor for even sending me there.

Scott Benner 15:16
Because the COVID know,

Rachel 15:18
just because they thought I should have gone directly to an endo. And what

Scott Benner 15:23
was your your, your blood sugar was high, it was over 500 At least. Yeah, I

Rachel 15:27
don't know what it was. But it was high, I think. I think it's a yar. I forgot if it was like, five or something. They read, maybe

Scott Benner 15:38
the doctor was like, I would like this lady not to, like go into decay and die. If you were you. Were you. Were you in decay? No,

Rachel 15:46
but I if it's possible, I think that I did have an episode at my house like the week before. I don't know if like, if that's something you can go in and out of. But there was certainly a period where I thought I was, it was like a quick. I don't know, maybe like three hours of just complete suffering. shakes and other things I won't mention but yeah, I don't I don't know. But at the yard? No, I was not I was perfectly fine.

Scott Benner 16:16
So how do they handle at the ER? Are you on a IV at this point? Are they talking about bringing your butcher are they busy arguing in the backroom like saying like, we have to kick this lady out of here because we don't want to do this. Now let's talk about the Dexcom g7. The Dexcom g7 is a small and wearable continuous glucose monitoring system. It sends real time glucose readings, to your Dexcom g7 app or the Dexcom receiver. Use my link dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To learn more and get started today, you will be able to effortlessly see your glucose levels and where they're headed. This way, you'll be able to make better decisions about food, insulin and activity. Once you're able to see the impact that those variables have on blood sugar, you'll begin to make more purposeful decisions and have better outcomes. My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom My daughter has been wearing a Dexcom product for so many years. I don't even remember when she started. But today she wears the Dexcom G seven and it is small and easy. And oh my goodness, are you going to love it dexcom.com forward slash juice box, you can head there now and click on the button that will get you your free benefits check or just hit that other button that says Get Started. When you use my links, you're supporting the production of the podcast dexcom.com forward slash juicebox.

Rachel 17:43
Well, both they were like almost like hesitant to give me the IV. In there's no background. It was all in front of my face. And I was like, okay, like, can you not talk like that in front of me? So yeah, I did get an IV to bring bring it down a bit. And then I got sent home with no plan with no insulin with nothing.

Scott Benner 18:10
Did they set you up with a doctor?

Rachel 18:13
No, no, my primary care is working on it. And when I say some of the doctors in Maine are not great. This is like kind of where that comes in. Definitely like the Endo. All right, it was a group of endos kind of the closest ones that could get me in. And they it was almost like a no response for two days. So I was I was two days without insulin without plan. And this is like where my sister like really? It was awesome. And then we finally got to the end of

Scott Benner 18:50
what's the endo pissed at the hospital? Yeah, actually,

Rachel 18:54
I'm in again, this is like I told you this is complex. There's a lot here. So I when we all sort of ask my husband, my sister and I get to this end. He reads my records like in a back room. And I will say in November, I had a corticosteroid injection in my spine. Because I was again at the point where like, I could barely walk and I knew I was getting on that airplane to Chicago. So I did have a an injection. So he comes in he big graph dude. And doesn't even look at me doesn't even sit down. He just walks in flipping papers and says you don't have diabetes. You just have residual effects from your steroid injection.

Scott Benner 19:44
Oh, great. Perfect. By the way, I googled it and it says people from Maine are friendly, but it says Maine is home of some of the friendliest people in the US. I guess they just don't work. Yeah, I guess they just they're not people you've met So far through the healthcare system.

Rachel 20:02
Yeah. And, and you know, I think in general, yes, there's a big group of people who don't like people from away because I don't know why I think just weird cultural, cultural differences. But I think a lot of people do like people from a way because that helps our economy.

Scott Benner 20:22
I just think you're, I think it's too cold that it makes people mean, that's all I'm saying. Okay, so now the doctor says to you, Oh, silly. You don't have I'm being nice, because I'm pretending he's nice. I'm assuming he was talking to his fees. Like you don't have diabetes. Have a look at here. And I looked on the paper. Here it is from the start with. And so did you at first thing, great. It's excellent. Oh,

Rachel 20:44
no, I was like, pretty ticked off. I'm like, Who are you coming in here? Not introducing yourself or being passionate whatsoever? Like, who the heck are you? I was like, really instantly kind of took off? Yeah,

Scott Benner 20:54
plus your blood sugar was high. You were probably extra. Like,

Rachel 21:00
two days, just like, plus

Scott Benner 21:02
Rachel, none for nothing. You're from Maine. You know what I mean? So I think we're learning.

Rachel 21:09
No, so I was like, I started having intense symptoms. In October after my oral steroid. I think that you should reevaluate. And he said, okay, and left the room. And then he comes back in? Well, I think because he, he was upset, like, I think he mentioned with with my doctor's office, and later on my doctor's office said, Yeah, this endo was like mean to our, like, secretaries and to the doctor here, basically reaming her out for even suggesting that I go there is so he comes back in. And now he sits down and looks at me and says, I think you have type one diabetes thing.

Scott Benner 22:00
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, good job.

Rachel 22:05
Like, okay, thank you. So, you know, then he proceeds to, you know, order all the antibody tests and or whatever all of that stuff. And history from there.

Scott Benner 22:18
I wonder what he did while he was off figuring it out? redoing his because Intas maybe you've read the whole file there. That's fascinating. So for people who are wondering, what is the link between prednisone and diabetes taking prednisone can make the liver resistant to insulin, raising blood sugar levels and potentially leading to steroid induced diabetes? Steroid induced diabetes is more similar to type two diabetes than type one. I don't know what they mean by that. People who use prednisone face the risk of developing type two diabetes, that's what they mean by that. I don't see any. I don't see any literature here about steroid use to type one. But, I mean,

Rachel 23:04
yeah, um, I took a dive into like, scientific literature. Like, immediately after, and I found a few papers. Yeah, I for for my specific case, the right the antibody tests. There's like one, one, main one, I don't know what they are. But there's like one kind of Biggie in that that's the one that that determines if you're, you know, kind of black and white type one, type two, I think. And then there, there were like three more, and I was like, off the charts for those like, random three, but the one that was like, Are you type one or type two. I I wasn't that wasn't, that wasn't horrible. So and I guess like those, whatever those three are, I wish I was more.

Scott Benner 23:53
Okay. You had the you had the GAD anybody? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I didn't care by then Scott. Yeah,

Rachel 24:02
I don't know. But I basically In short, I had three of them that were like significant type one. Like you have it. Okay.

Scott Benner 24:11
Yeah, you have it that's they should call it the you have an antibody. That's That's it actually. Presence of Gad antibodies is observed in 75% of people with type one diabetes diagnosis. Wow. Yeah. All right. Well, so he's your sister with you through all this or did she just come in patch on the head and leave?

Rachel 24:32
Absolutely not. So she and I don't know I'll say to your listeners, because I'm sure when this comes out her interview with you will already be out.

Scott Benner 24:46
My name is Rebecca. Let me look at the file shirts

Rachel 24:49
charity. I'm sure she talked about me. She was basically like my guiding light and I know she'll she'll she's listening. Thank you, Becca. for everything, because I was basically the doctor the endo just threw into the fire. And, you know, here's some insulin, you know, and I didn't have a ratio or anything. It was, it was just crazy. So my sister came with all of her, you know, kind of educational materials for her daughter. Sure. So like she has nice, like, infographics and like, colorful charts. You know, it's like, parents of kids. So it's what her her daughter, her daughter's endo gave her. It just helped break things down and helped me understand all the different, the nuances in it a year in and I'm still trying to understand some of them, you know, on my fridge, I still have kind of the, you know, the graph of how does protein versus fat verse, you know, like sugar like, how do they all kind of make your blood glucose spike or

Scott Benner 26:05
a new world and a lot of things to to figure out. Hey, real quick. Is Rebecca's last name hyphenated? Yeah, yes, yes. Okay. Then Should hers will be out about three months before yours. Oh, cool. Yeah. I don't know what to call it because I haven't heard it since I recorded it in February. And I haven't edited yet. So I'm not sure what she and I talked about to be perfectly honest. I wonder if she said horrible. Wouldn't it be crazy if she's like, my sister, Rachel? Oh, my God. Listen to me. What a pain in the ass. Those doctors were lovely. And she did nothing but just give them trouble the hold?

Rachel 26:38
Oh, yeah, that's me. I'm a rabble rouser.

Scott Benner 26:43
I did want to ask you like, this is going to be maybe a probing question. But do you have a lot of experiences with people that go the way these went? Or no.

Rachel 26:54
In what context like

Scott Benner 26:55
doctors, though, just in general, like you meet a person, they kind of like, you know, they're gruff to you. They didn't quite give you like, like, I mean, I'm looking at a picture of you. You seem to lightful but I'm wondering if there's something about you that like rubs people the wrong way and you don't know it?

Rachel 27:10
Oh, I absolutely have a resting bitchface Oh, bleep it out. That

Scott Benner 27:17
that words, okay. It's good. That's not one of the words I have to bleep. Does that happen

Rachel 27:22
to you? Not frequently. Okay.

Scott Benner 27:24
All right. I just didn't know if maybe like you were just like, I don't know. Like, had an aura around you. And people were always like, just scared of you or something like I'm scared of my wife. No, I yeah,

Rachel 27:34
I think I'm just like, again, I'm pointing fingers at the medical system. A few years earlier, I had like an emergency room visit for like a rupturing internal abscess. Very similar to one of your episodes. The like, Periodontal abscess? butthole.

Scott Benner 27:50
Adjacent, you're referring to my favorite title. Yes.

Rachel 27:55
Exact same weird thing.

Scott Benner 27:58
Wait, you're in the same place? Yeah. Oh my god. Yes.

Rachel 28:04
And the CAT scan the first time showed it. And they sent me home with Vikon and it didn't touch it. And so I went back to the ER different er. So that's why I'm saying like, sorry, everyone who like wants to like, live in Maine for a certain doctor or something. This doesn't apply to you, but

Scott Benner 28:24
I don't want to get off track but I'm trying to imagine a pain near my butt that is not touched by Vikon. That must be terrible. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. So I can't believe I can't believe I've met two people. This has happened to me is absolutely the highlight of my day. But

Rachel 28:41
me No, I like I made my husband like listen to like a part of it. I'm like, Look, I'm not alone. He's

Scott Benner 28:48
like, Oh, that guy stayed too. Yeah, I gotta go. I can't I can't I'm not good, but I'm sorry. Goodbye. I did. I really did love you. I gotta go though. Terrible. Well, I'm sorry. How long before the type one diagnosis was that? Everybody who has diabetes has diabetes supplies, but not everybody gets them from us med the way we do us med.com forward slash juice box or call 888721151 for us med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. They are the number one specialty distributor for Omnipod dash, the number one fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide, and they always provide 90 days worth of supplies, and fast and free shipping. That's right us med carries everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, right up to your latest CGM like the FreeStyle Libre two N three and the Dexcom G six and seven. They even have Omni pod dash and Omni pod five. They have an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau and you can reached them at 888-721-1514 or by going to my link us med.com forward slash juicebox. When you contact them, you get your free benefits check. And then if they take your insurance, you're often going and US med takes over 800 private insurers and Medicare nationwide. better service and better care is what US med wants to provide for you. Us med.com forward slash juicebox get your diabetes supplies the same way Arden does from us med links in the show notes links at juicebox podcast.com. To us Med and all the sponsors. When you use my links, you're supporting the show.

Rachel 30:43
Two years. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. Talking with my doctor, the primary care and, and sort of like my education, my, my PhD education. I, we've both sort of kind of concluded that the type one was likely caused by the oral combination, not just the steroid, but you know, either viral or bacterial. Like infection at one point that, yeah, likely mutated something. And then the prednisone just kind of flipped the switch and turned it on.

Scott Benner 31:22
Interesting. How's your back?

Rachel 31:26
My back is great. I bought an inversion table actually really helps.

Scott Benner 31:32
No kidding. You and I have such a similar story. So Rachel, let me tell you that my back has been troublesome most of my life. And it wasn't until well, also, my wife got me to inversion table for Christmas last year, which is very nice to hang upside down. If your back hurts at the bottom. By the way, they're not expensive in case Rachel and I seem like, you know, we're like, let me tell you about my cold punch tub. Yeah, they're like 200 bucks. But, but anyway, it does help just to kind of like, accordion out a little bit. But you know, what helped me the most because I've had this exact experience as you were I had to go on prednisone for something else. And my back pain just completely disappeared during it. So this is gonna sound really crazy. Probably. I think I fixed my digestion. And I'm eliminating on a better schedule. And because I'm not, I don't want to say this. Because I'm going every day. I really believe My back doesn't hurt anymore. And I think it's because of that. I feel like, look, what I know about the inside of a person's body is nothing because I didn't go to college work. But it feels like when it feels like when I'm storing poo, my back gets tight at the bottom.

Rachel 32:53
Oh, yeah, you're expanded. And? Yeah, well, most nerves utilize that. And that sort of makes fun. Listen, I

Scott Benner 33:01
could be out of my mind. But if you gave me $50,000 And made me bet on it, this is what I would bet on. This is what I've come up with. I don't have 50. But if you gave it to me, like Scott bet on this one way or the other, we have the answer. I'd go with more frequent elimination has reduced and almost completely taken away the lower soreness, the soreness in my lower back.

Rachel 33:22
So it sounds like science to me. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 33:26
my question is, are you constipated often?

Rachel 33:29
Oh, no. So no. I

Scott Benner 33:34
know what you said. That was hilarious. Like, no, that's not a thing. Don't worry.

Rachel 33:39
Yeah, no. Anyway, but no, the tables great. I recommend anyone 10 out of 10. Like if you need surgery, try it first. I think if you have high blood pressure, it's not it's not good for you. Because

Scott Benner 33:51
your head will pop or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Well, that would have been the table wouldn't have given you a diabetes for sure. So what if you fell off the inversion table? Hit your pancreas and got I guess you could do you ever, like have that feeling when you flip back? Or do you like it's not going to hold me and I'm going to fall on my head and die. Do you ever think that? Well,

Rachel 34:12
I don't fully invert. So. Oh, no kidding. I don't feel like I'm that risky.

Scott Benner 34:17
Gotcha. I like being completely upside down. Really? Yeah. I like do you know what the hardest part of it is, is to like, you have to isolate in your mind your hips. And like, let go. I don't know if that makes any sense to people. But like, yeah, you

Rachel 34:34
have to like deep breathe like you're gonna breathe. Hey, my dogs are barking outside. Can you hear them? Yeah,

Scott Benner 34:41
sure. Is. Is the Abominable Snowman there. Do you want to go help them?

Rachel 34:45
Yeah, I mean, that's, it's probably just a squirrel.

Scott Benner 34:50
Take your time. That's fine. I'm going to talk about the inversion table while she's going. Like you flip upside down and you can Still feel tension, like, I don't know, it feels like this is obviously not technical, but it feels like there's a hinge between your back and your hips and your lower back. And if you just relax in the right way, it just sort of your body stops holding it together. And then you get that like, the decompression happens. It just feels like pop up like that. It's very Oh, it's dreaming.

Rachel 35:21
It's dreaming. I got my father one for his birthday.

Scott Benner 35:28
It's helped. Yeah, no, I've, I have nothing but good things to say about it. When my wife gave it to me. I was like, Where are we going to put this? And she's like, well, if it helpful, she goes, give it helps you What do you care? And I was like, All right. Good point. So had a little bit of a thing, but you have diabetes. Now. Now, in your note, you talk about depression, did they come after the diabetes?

Rachel 35:49
Oh my gosh, I am usually a really happy person. Even though my face doesn't show it. Um, I was definitely I'd say like two or three months after, I was like, bedridden sobbing couldn't like I couldn't function didn't want to see anybody. I was extremely, extremely depressed. And I think part of that was hormonal, like, the insulin was kicking in and other you know, other things, but also like, I just felt so alone. I like was looking on like Facebook groups, like Does anyone else have steroid induced diabetes or like adult diagnosed and it's so hard to just find a community? I really didn't find any, any thing like that. So I was just feeling sorry for myself. And just, you know, I'm, I was 30 in my life has, it has changed dramatically? So I? Yeah, I mean, I would go grocery shopping. I'd look at the popsicles, and I would just sob. Like, it was bad. I'm way better.

Scott Benner 37:03
Like, did you like popsicles a lot? No. See, I kind of thought you were gonna say no, but because Oh,

Rachel 37:12
but it was like one of those things. It's like, I could never be on like one of those survival shows because I have diabetes. You know what I mean? Like, this

Scott Benner 37:22
got in your way of being on the 29th. season of Survivor, you were like, I was I was really gonna try out. But you can't be on Survivor if you have type one diabetes?

Rachel 37:35
I don't think so. I mean, I don't watch Survivor and no, I'm talking about more hardcore if you were sitting alone.

Scott Benner 37:41
Great show. Yes. Yeah. All right, hold on. Can I be on alone? With type one? Is that That's not naked and alone, is it?

Rachel 37:54
No, but I feel like any of those like, actual like, rah, rah, survival shows you you are really limited to what you can burn.

Scott Benner 38:03
Were you really planning on ever doing that?

Rachel 38:05
Are you No, no, no, my husband and I have been trying to get into, like, sign up for the amazing race. But that's not good. At times gone in our lives.

Scott Benner 38:18
My wife, my wife is like people would love to watch you and I on The Amazing Race. She's like, we would argue constantly. And I was like, I know. But all that running? Yeah, I mean, by not doing that. Okay, so it got in the way of things. This is very interesting, actually. Because you're upset about losing things that you've never had and didn't want.

Rachel 38:48
Yeah, I mean, but also the things that I've always had, and have had to adjust and change for, for instance, you know, and just like, you know, putting my Dexcom on and like, I did it wrong, and I have to peel it off, or something like that, like that would just trigger me going low. I would just get triggered. i It was just, I was a hot mess. And it will yes, no, there were definitely stupid things that I would get emotional about.

Scott Benner 39:20
Well, by the way, I did see here you can be on Survivor with type one. They will let you have your year. So it's not too late for you to make a fool of yourself on television for fleeting, fleeting fame and no money. Yeah. How did they start you like, what's your management like three sticks and a chipmunk? Or do they give you a meter? What do they do?

Rachel 39:43
It was just, I don't know. I think it was like 12 units each me at all. Here's a meter. How about it? It was like that for a long, long time, like months and months and months. And I'm like You know, just the education for my sister and talking with her like almost daily. And just like this isn't this doesn't seem right. And in some of the, I think the insulin he put me on it was just archaic. Like, all the methods were archaic. And he basically kind of calculated a ratio for me. And I started playing with it and started working. And then when I went back to this Endo, it was like, Listen, I want a ratio. And he basically was like, Yeah, I feel like I couldn't handle it. And I'm like, I'm a PhD student, like, I want to, I want to ratio. Give me one. Like, I'm not dumb, man. And so he finally gave me one. At what

Scott Benner 40:43
point if you having all these experiences the doctors, right? Like, is there a moment where you say to yourself, like, I'm not going to get what I need from them? Or do you keep feeling hopeful that I think there's just a quiet desire and people like the I want this to go, well, like, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna go to the appointment, they're gonna say a thing. I'm gonna do the thing, and that's gonna be okay. Like, it's hard to like, be I mean, every step of the way. You've described people kind of half helping you. And then yeah, so now that you're kind of, you know, you're like, Okay, I have diabetes, we got that part done. I'm past the, this isn't fair. And I got it because my stupid back hurt and all that stuff. Like, like, now you have to live with it. Do you not walk in there thinking? These are the same people who have dropped the ball every step of the way. And I'm expecting him to help me with what is now the most difficult part of this. What? Yeah,

Rachel 41:35
I mean, no, they're, they're nutritionist was really great. But I, I feel like I kind of grew that person. You know, it was just, it was also an hour from my house, their office. So I, for I think, six months, I was with them. And then I started calling around and hardly anywhere was accepting new clients. So I actually did find one that was actually a town over for me. And there's one Endo, and I only really see the nurse practitioner. But it's been a good, a good fit. So yeah, I left that first, endo after like six months, because it was just exactly they were not helpful. Not helpful, or just, it was not good.

Scott Benner 42:24
So you figure the whole thing out on your own with your sister, do you think or did someone finally like step up for you?

Rachel 42:31
No, no, I I attribute all that to Rebecca. She I mean, like the figuring out insurance with all the gear and the medication. And you know that she helped me every step of the way. Every time like you like you're my Endo. Because like she has, she has a husband with it. She has a child with it. And she has another child who's about to get it. It's a lot. So she's she's most knowledgeable person.

Scott Benner 43:06
Did you have trouble mining that information for yourself? Or were you just comforting but you just comfortable getting it from her so you didn't look hard for it on your own?

Rachel 43:16
Are you fishing for me to say I was listening to the Juicebox Podcast?

Scott Benner 43:20
No. Honestly, I was fishing. I was trying to be nice and ask if you're being lazy about it. But

Rachel 43:27
no, she actually, I will. I will say that. No, she she sent me a link to one of your like, I didn't know your intro ones. And it it was so helpful. Just to help understand, like, what does Bolus mean? And yeah, I mean, I I do research all day. And so I there was a big chunk of it that like I was doing research, but like googling things wasn't great. And I think I mentioned like there's no community around so I couldn't really find community. Yeah. So she she was a big help your This podcast was a huge help. I'm

Scott Benner 44:11
glad Thank you. I wasn't honestly fishing. I thought maybe you were just kind of like, doing the like, yeah, I don't want to do this thing. But somebody's helping me. I wasn't sure. Which, which because it mean if you were feeling depressed, and it was overwhelming, I could see you. I guess lazy was the wrong word earlier. But like if you were just not diving into, like,

Rachel 44:31
tapping out. No, that's not my personality. I I always I feel like I persevere and I hated that. I was really succumbing to depression. It was just you know, I worked through it. It was hard.

Scott Benner 44:44
No, I can imagine what makes you come on the podcast.

Rachel 44:50
Definitely to talk about the steroid induced stuff because it can happen. But also that I guess I could put a plug in At the end, kind of encourage people to consider clinical trials. Because I'm, I'm in a clinical trial right now, for what? Yeah, it's it's the called tn 27. topple. It's for type one, type one diabetes two just got diagnosed within I think it was like a 48 month time span.

Scott Benner 45:26
What are they looking for?

Rachel 45:27
Yeah, it. It's a plasmid therapy. So it's actually I had to go down for 12 straight weeks of injections. Plasma therapy, it's double blinded. So I don't know if it's if I got the placebo or the real thing. Well, based

Scott Benner 45:46
on your interaction with other doctors, I don't think they liked you when they got there. And they gave you the placebo. Right? They're like, No, that's not her.

Rachel 45:56
Yeah. No. And again, my sister encouraged me to kind of look into clinical trials. And I went on like a website, and it was just like, overwhelming and like, holy cow. Like there's a lot of diabetes research going on right now, which is awesome. And so I called the Joslin diabetes Center. And I was like, listen here, here's my story. I, I want to help with science. Like, sign me up for something. They narrowed it down to two and the one that kind of worked for my schedule, was that topple. Okay.

Scott Benner 46:33
Did they run that at multiple locations? Or is that at Yale? I'm trying to think of where that is.

Rachel 46:38
Yeah, they do. And they do. You can only participate at certain physical locations. So I had to travel from Maine to Boston. Often

Scott Benner 46:51
did your husband get to go home once in a while because of this?

Rachel 46:56
He, yeah, he He's stayed home every time. I have family that live outside of Austin. And so like I was able to, like go down the night before. Yeah, he stayed home. We have a farm. So you get to do

Scott Benner 47:10
the chores. Chickens. Chickens.

Rachel 47:13
We get every we have like everything. sheep, horses, ducks, chickens, pigeons. You name it.

Scott Benner 47:19
What is the purpose of this farm? Is it for pleasure? Yeah.

Rachel 47:22
Pleasure. Meet will eggs.

Scott Benner 47:26
Alright, hold on a second. You're getting wool from sheep.

Rachel 47:29
Yes. And meat. Sorry. No, no.

Scott Benner 47:32
Yeah, I'm not. Don't be sorry. And you see you took you take the wool and what do you make with it? Do you make those little wool balls that you put in your dryer to make fluff up your laundry?

Rachel 47:41
I do I wear really fun. Yeah. Yeah, those are easy. I don't really make yarn. But yeah, I do like some felted stuff. Honestly, I have bags of it just sitting. I haven't gotten to it. While I'm busy.

Scott Benner 48:00
You imagine if somewhere there's a hairdresser who does that with human hair bags and all up and holds on to it? How creepy with that there is Oh, that'd be like that's the makings of a great horror movie. Yeah, they capture you and then they make a hair suit up for you. And then they call you, whatever. Then they call you Sasquatch and let you go in the woods, then they hunt you. What do you think of that?

Rachel 48:23
It's hard for me to wrap my head around. But I think you've been very creative imagination. Thank

Scott Benner 48:30
you. Thank you. I personally am more impressed with the idea that I figured out you made dryer balls with the wool because honestly, that is a pretty big stab in the dark, don't you think?

Rachel 48:40
Yeah. Well, I feel like a lot of people it's it's just like one of the easy fundamental things that people sheep can make. Like, it's just so easy. So everyone does it.

Scott Benner 48:48
Well, Rachel, this is an indication of your life that you think everyone does that. Oh, really? Yeah. No one I know. Does that ever. You're the only one. Which is delightful. It's I was like, I was so interesting. You're like, oh, yeah, I do that. Like you said it so casually. I was like, Why is she not more impressed that I figured this out? Why is she not more impressed that I know what they are? You just know what they are. So you think it's like just a common thing.

Rachel 49:18
I mean, I don't know maybe I'm just I start I have people in my circle who maybe they're just like really crunchy granola people that have stopped using dryer sheets a long time ago. So yeah, I think maybe we should explain just like the inversion table. dryer balls are wool compact balls that you use in the dryer, in replace of dryer sheets. They do help with static, and

Scott Benner 49:40
they also kind of keep things fluffy because the way they keep things separated while they're drying and everything else. I want to remind people that I once wrote a book called Life is short laundry is eternal. That's not right. I think eight out of 10 people that are hearing this right now like I have no idea I've never heard about wool dryer balls in my life. If

Rachel 50:00
Yeah, no, they should try try it.

Scott Benner 50:03
Yeah, they should try. dryer balls. Multiple balls multiple. Yeah, I think we named your episode dryer balls by the way. Cuz out of context it's hilarious.

Rachel 50:16
It might draw some interest. Right

Scott Benner 50:19
and that down dryer balls. People would be like, I do have a problem with moisture. Let me see if I can find out. Yeah. Oh, I handle this. Well, they're gonna be so disappointed. 15 minutes into it when they're like, Wait, it's stuff you put the dryer. Right? Cool. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. I used to work. I used to work in a sheetmetal shop. And it's very hot in the summertime. And I worked with this guy who was absolutely just one of my favorite people that I've ever met as an adult.

Rachel 51:00
Talking about dryer balls heater, just talking about like,

Scott Benner 51:03
at any point in the day during the summer, if you walked by me had like a big container of Ammons powder, and he was just jamming it down the front. Oh not even so sweaty, don't you think? I mean, you just was doing it constantly.

Rachel 51:23
Just like in front of people. He's just a carry. It was

Scott Benner 51:25
a sheetmetal shop or you eat all almost cut off one of our appendages and helped each other. Like there was no like, yeah, no, it was. You have like a little workstation. And you had your tools. And in the summer he had this big dispute. Do people know what admins powder is?

Rachel 51:40
I think you've heard of it. Did you all share it? Or was it just his exclusively? Yeah, it's

Scott Benner 51:44
insulting. I did not share. I did not share or close. Not that close. The neck of the thing had been down the front of his like it was probably bouncing on the top of his. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I mean, it just because he really shake. Oh, Amis has changed the bottle since I was 20 years old. That makes sense for marketing purposes. Oh, yeah. They still make it? Yeah, I don't. I mean, listen, I'm not a doctor. I don't know if you're supposed to sprinkle this on your bets or not. But this guy did that. And he seemed happier after he did it.

Rachel 52:20
Well, whatever works

Scott Benner 52:23
would come out of his bed like you could track him

laugh I've ever had on the podcast. You could track him by the little way. Trail of powder. Oh my god. Boxers, I'm guessing right. It's got to be right now that we're thinking about

Rachel 52:52
I mean, yeah, unless you like was really missing the mark.

Scott Benner 52:59
Okay, maybe he was putting it down his legs to keep his I mean, it was hot as I was. You know what I almost said it was hot as balls in there.

Rachel 53:11
Welcome to dryer ball. Oh, my

Scott Benner 53:13
God. Yeah, no, it was just, I mean, we worked in a really hot environment with machinery. And you know, there's no air conditioning. And, you know, like, I spent most of my life standing in front of a fan with a fan blowing 110 degree heat air at me. And I was like, oh, refreshing. So it was like a terrible job. That job made me not want to work for real. Like that. That job focused me on like figuring out something horrible and

Rachel 53:39
you open, like, you know, you've opened my eyes to what? That's like, and I too, don't ever want to do that. No, geez,

Scott Benner 53:47
definitely not. I mean, somebody's got to do it. And God bless you. If you're out there doing it. Thank you very much. But I did already and I put my time in. And I actually I've made parts for the space shuttle. I left school I once spent an entire summer, making a part that I guarantee everyone in here has been within three feet of it's just like so you know, when you walk through a door, and you step on the thing on the ground or a sensor and it opens. If you look, if you look above that door, there's a long aluminum extruded box. And inside of that box, there are parts and we made those boxes and the parts inside. So I very likely touch something that you've walked through the door. This is not a brag. It was worse, the worst summer of my life. But that's only because the way Arden was diagnosed this summer is probably the second worst summer of my life. But um, yeah. So you've all walked past something I've touched. I guarantee it. Anyway, I will

Rachel 54:51
forever think of you when I'm walking through

Scott Benner 54:54
an automatic door at the grocery store. Yes. Yeah. Well, thank you. I appreciate that very much. And the space shuttle which they don't use anymore. So

Rachel 55:02
which one? Oh, gosh,

Scott Benner 55:05
I don't remember it was the early 90s. It was for NASA. Yeah, we made some parts for them. We made we did all kinds of different stuff there. But, and then I worked in a paint shop for two years. So I'm probably not long for this world because if you think they made you wear things like masks while you were painting, in the early 90s, they did not make you do that. So I can't possibly live much longer. I think about that all the time, by the way. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like it was just I know, I'm out. I'm on my way out. And it's gonna be from that. So anyway, that's, but don't worry. I made $5 an hour. So completely worth it. Rachel. Hey, we're aligning. Yeah, and I know how to keep my nuts dry in a pinch. So although, although I've never done it, oh, my God. All right. What else? Rachel, is there anything else? We haven't talked about that we should have?

Rachel 56:03
Yeah, I don't know. I think I covered it.

Scott Benner 56:07
I was laughing so hard a moment ago when I was I couldn't get out about the trail of powder. I think.

Rachel 56:16
I think I like one of those last up crime.

Scott Benner 56:19
I almost went in audible. I almost thought like, I think she might think I'm not making noise right now. But I was laughing and I couldn't breathe. So anyway, that's because I knew what I was gonna say next. And I could picture the trail of powder moving through the building. Neither here nor there. I wonder if he's alive. He's probably still alive.

Rachel 56:38
Oh my gosh. Well, he was older.

Scott Benner 56:40
Because he was older than me. Oh, oh, I was like a child.

Rachel 56:49
Well,

Scott Benner 56:49
I'm gonna look him up on Facebook. If he's alive, we'll know together.

Rachel 56:53
If he's that much older than you would have Facebook?

Scott Benner 56:56
Of course he does. Everybody has Facebook. Hold on. Oh, oh, there he is. He's the Grandpop. Now, look how big his family is. This is so nice. He's still married. Oh, this is lovely. He's one of my favorite people. All right, I'll do that. Let's say he hasn't posted since December 2022. But that's not that long ago. He's probably still alive. I'm glad he's alive. Do you think he thinks about me?

Rachel 57:34
I have no idea.

Scott Benner 57:35
I mean, it's a nice opportunity for you to say something nice to me. But you just love it.

Rachel 57:39
I mean, you clearly remember him. And I, you know,

Scott Benner 57:43
I don't know. He still lives in the same place. I could creepy go to his house. I'm not doing some powder. He has such a just such an amazing sense of humor. And it was a hard working guy. Like he had a business that was very successful. And that he loved. And his business partner messed it up. And he lost, lost that business. And then ended up working in a sheetmetal shop, which was something he had never like done in his entire life. And I remember him doing it, but he was doing it for his family, you know, just helping his family and getting back into the world. But he I can hear his voice such a wonderful way about him. Anyway. Let's hope. Let's hope his balls are good. You know what I mean? Because I don't know if you're supposed to. I don't know if you're supposed to put that powder on him or not? You Yeah, you don't know either do for

Rachel 58:39
sure. I mean, I would I would assume he probably pass that knowledge down through the generations and so they're probably all all fine.

Scott Benner 58:48
I'm just gonna Google real quick. Can I put Ammons powder on my nobody's looked at me so far. Here you go. Preventing swamp crotch. plying talcum powder to my is, is applying talcum powder to my genitals harmful. How do I apply powder to my groin? Somebody asked that question. What do you mean how?

Rachel 59:16
I mean it it's kind of awkward depending on like the canister. Oh,

Scott Benner 59:21
I see what you're thinking about. You might have to lay down right. I mean, I guess Can you imagine if like you to walk through that room and he was on his back, like with his knees up in the air, like, hilarious. That would have been? Oh my god. All right. Well, I'll check on him. Make sure he's okay. I'll check on that. Alright. So how are you doing with your diabetes things going well, have you hit a stride or things where you want them? Have you changed how you eat how you think? Like, what have you done? Oh, yeah.

Rachel 59:52
Well, I do. I don't know if I got the real drug or I mean, I think I'm just assuming I'm still in the honeymoon phase. Because I hear it for adults it can last over a year.

Scott Benner 1:00:08
Are you not using much insulin? I

Rachel 1:00:11
use hardly anything at all. I actually ended up getting like a junior pen with a half doses real. Mm hmm.

Scott Benner 1:00:21
Yeah, you were in a CGM?

Rachel 1:00:25
I am. Okay. Yeah. Nope. No palm just MDI.

Scott Benner 1:00:29
Alright, and where's your a one say?

Rachel 1:00:31
Oh, do not know. I can't remember if it was like 5.8. Does that does that sound right?

Scott Benner 1:00:45
Are you asking me?

Rachel 1:00:48
Well, now I know you like having me wondering. I texted it to my sister.

Scott Benner 1:00:54
Like, does that sound right? I don't know. I don't know you.

Rachel 1:00:58
Yeah, I think it's like really good. Whatever it is.

Scott Benner 1:01:02
Yeah, well, yeah. Sounds like it's really difficult for you to achieve. So well. I

Rachel 1:01:07
mean, do you have a certain? Oh, go ahead. Do

Scott Benner 1:01:11
you have a certain feeling style? Like is there a way you eat or be whatever you want? Yeah, I

Rachel 1:01:16
really gotta eat whatever I want. And I'm a grazer, which, like, diabetes, you shouldn't be eating like that. But I think I'm so active. That it kind of levels out. Most of the time. I'm not I don't really eat a whole lot of carbs. Some of my dinners are pretty curvy. Do

Scott Benner 1:01:36
you get low if you don't eat throughout the day.

Rachel 1:01:40
I used to I used to, before I got this junior, like the kid pen was a half doses because like even there were some days like I give myself one unit. And that would just be way too much. It was crazy.

Scott Benner 1:01:53
And that's for basil or mele Bolus,

Rachel 1:01:58
the Bolus, my basil, they're there. I mean, I kind of go through periods of lesson more in there was definitely like, like a month where I really didn't have to use it. And I was like, Oh, I don't have diabetes. And then it's like, yes, you do.

Scott Benner 1:02:18
So has anyone ever said Lada to you? Say that again? Has anyone ever said Lada to you? La da? diabetes? No. Yeah. Listen to more of the podcast. So yeah, so Layton, oh, God, Layton, autoimmune diabetes and adults. latent autoimmune diabetes in adults has a slow onset. And so that, so sometimes adults take a long time to get to their insulin needs can happen. So yeah.

Rachel 1:02:50
Well, between that and this clinical trial, maybe I don't look that up. That's cool.

Scott Benner 1:02:57
Yeah, look that up. And the clinical trials, What's it supposed to? Like? If you get the juice and the juice works? What are they hoping it does?

Rachel 1:03:04
Yeah, they, they're hoping that the plasmid will basically like, communicate with the immune system and basically help stop the attack on the beta cells to basically like, stop the duration of immune system loss and possibly even repair it. Okay. It's almost like a, I think a thought is like a pre diabetes type, like end goal. But, you know, maybe there's a chance that that the progression of the loss of my beta cells is slow or completely stops.

Scott Benner 1:03:49
I say, Well, I say, well, good luck with that. I hope that works. I mean, for everybody, not just for you, you 12 injections on the trial, and then how long do they follow up with you? Yeah,

Rachel 1:04:01
so this is the year it's a follow up a year. They'll do for I know, it's quarterly, there's like there's a few like, almost monthly, right after the last injection and then one for like, a year from there. So I've for follow up visits. There the like mixed meal tolerance tests where I have to fast and build give me like a big chocolate protein drink. You know, to see where my level haven't spikes and if it comes down at all, and then they'll, they'll take, like, 40 vials of blood will take all my blood. Wonderful.

Scott Benner 1:04:43
So is there Did they tell you like, like, say you ended up actually getting the drug? Is this a maintenance drug? Like would you need it again? Or do they not even know that yet?

Rachel 1:04:54
I don't think they even know that yet. So I'll explain it a bit more. They're the stuff He has four cohorts. And with each cohort the dosage is, is increased. So I was in the third cohort. The fourth one is underway right now. And that's the one that has the max dose. So, yeah, I don't know. And again, I don't know if they know the answer to that question. But basically, we will all find out. Again, it's a double blinded. So the researchers don't even know what we're getting. But we will all find out once that fourth cohort has their one year follow up. Next, okay. So it's going to take, you know, almost probably two years before we all figure out like, what we got. Yeah. And I'm so excited to learn what it was.

Scott Benner 1:05:50
Yeah, no, of course, I'm sure everyone is, I always wonder they must have a way of knowing. Like, there's gotta be something about it. Like, I've had other people on who are in clinical trials, they're like, you know, they tell you, they can't tell, but if you have it, or like you forgot the real drug or not, but like, you know, there are people have said, like, I think I can tell, do you think you're getting it? Or does it really no way for you to know, I

Rachel 1:06:12
have no idea. I mean, if I'm still Lada or honeymoon or whatever I am. I think it's that's a hard, you know, I can't really discern the difference.

Scott Benner 1:06:25
Yeah, these two possibilities could be overlapping. You mentioned you mentioned your PhD, what are you getting your PhD in?

Rachel 1:06:33
Broadly, ecology and environmental science, but it really kind of looking at like animal epidemiology, disease ecology. parasitology it's a lot of ologies.

Scott Benner 1:06:49
Do this for a living now.

Rachel 1:06:52
I get paid to go to school. Sure. Yeah. I I just through through university. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:06:59
Yeah. But you don't have a job in the air in the in the field? No, not Yeah, this

Rachel 1:07:04
is my final year. So I'm starting to

Scott Benner 1:07:07
look. Wow, I just had this conversation with one of my son's friends from college. And he's like, I, you know, this thing I want to do, I think I need a PhD for it. Or doctorate. He called it. And I was like, yeah, and he goes, I don't know if I want to, like, start my life in my early 30s, though. He's like, because that's how it feels like it's gonna be Is that how it ends up being?

Rachel 1:07:28
It can feel that way. I was, I was a high school teacher before I went to grad school. And I worked through like nonprofits before that. So like, I feel like I've had the chance to, like have a life. But I wanted higher education. And now that I am 31. And looking for my big girl job. Yeah, I feel like I'm a bit behind especially like, you know, 401k kind of thing.

Scott Benner 1:07:56
I'm not retiring. Scott. That's what I'm telling you. How are you getting medical insurance? Yeah,

Rachel 1:08:03
it's through University. My I mean, my husband has a full time job at the states like, push comes to shove, I could go on his but it's super expensive. So University, it's, it's pretty good. Except they change it all the time. Which is weird.

Scott Benner 1:08:21
Chasing the cheapest, the cheapest plan. And

Rachel 1:08:26
then there's like a gap month, like the month of August is always like this big, like how to do because no one has insurance for the month of August or it's like retroactive. So everything that you have to pay out of pocket and repay you. That's not an option for me.

Scott Benner 1:08:44
I don't have the pocket you're referring to Yeah, doesn't have any money. Just some loose wool. That's all that's in there. And a leaf. And some feed that I throw at goats so they don't eat my shoes. Very cool. Well, I appreciate you doing this very much. And it'll be nice to follow up with you after your sister's been on too.

Rachel 1:09:03
Yeah, yeah. I'm excited to listen to her that episode. But ya know, this has been great, Scott. Thanks for having me.

Scott Benner 1:09:11
I appreciate it very much. Nothing we missed, so we're good there. You're okay with the episode being called dryer balls?

Rachel 1:09:18
Hell yeah. I mean.

Scott Benner 1:09:22
I'm not gonna spell it like dryer like dry er.

Rachel 1:09:25
All right. Dry her balls. Sure. Go. Wait

Scott Benner 1:09:30
a minute. No, no, not like that

Rachel 1:09:39
Oh,

Scott Benner 1:09:42
I was just gonna do it d r i e r, just so that it awesome ops. Ops. Ops you skate. Why can I say off you skate? Why can't What's the word I want? You have a PhD. I'm

Rachel 1:09:55
sorry. I'm just still thinking of dry her balls.

Scott Benner 1:10:00
If you that I actually don't think I can do I can't believe I couldn't say obfuscate for a second. But anyway, anyway, to make it more obscure. I'm gonna make it drier. Yeah, no. Yeah, definitely more alluring. I would, I would click it. People are like, Why? How? Let me find out when they're gonna be like bags a wool. How do you press the wool down and make a real quickly? How do you make the because I'm assuming the dryer balls are like, like more like tennis balls like firmness. So how do you do that? Okay, so

Rachel 1:10:32
DIY dryer ball, you take pantyhose, and you just shove, like real shove just wool in the dryer like in the pantyhose you tie a knot. So it's just kind of like

Scott Benner 1:10:47
baggy, twisted like a sausage, right? Was it like a sausage? Okay, okay,

Rachel 1:10:51
throw it through the washer, and then you throw it through the dryer to really compact everything together at the felt it.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:59
Felt it? Yeah, that's what the wash

Rachel 1:11:00
does the water and the soap like just really kind of makes all the fibers stick together.

Scott Benner 1:11:07
Yeah, that's interesting. And then can you sell these to friends? And give

Rachel 1:11:12
them to friends? Sure. And I sell them we used to sell them at like a farmers market and like purple events, but

Scott Benner 1:11:19
we How much can you get for a handful of balls? Oh

Rachel 1:11:23
my gosh, I think like a three pack? Some like really nice, colorful ones and go for like 15 for three packs. I don't know. I haven't sold them in a while. I think I do like three or four bucks a ball.

Scott Benner 1:11:35
Yeah, but when you did you were comfortable holding the balls. Yeah, I wish I could juggle. But having three or four balls in your hand at the same time. It's not off putting to you at all.

Rachel 1:11:46
No. And that's really that's like how many you should probably use in your dryer. Wow. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:11:51
it too is not enough. No. Yeah. I love that. You're from Maine because a lot of my sarcasm this is you know,

Rachel 1:11:59
I hear it. I'm just I feel like I'm more. I don't know. You're so

Scott Benner 1:12:04
laid back. I really? Like if I just lead you down the road. You'd be like, Scott, I love fondling these balls you have no like you just say it like you'd be like, that's fine. Yeah, but I don't get like what I mean, it's an interesting thing.

Rachel 1:12:17
I depends on the size of the balls. You know, there's any groupies. You know?

Scott Benner 1:12:22
Do they get unpleasant when they're older?

Rachel 1:12:25
They do. They don't work as well.

Scott Benner 1:12:33
I have a feeling that if we weren't on a podcast, you and I might be having a completely different conversation. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, Rachel, thank you very much. Hold on for one second. Yeah.

I'd like to thank Rachel for coming on the show sharing her story and being so much fun. And I want to thank Dexcom for sponsoring this episode dexcom.com/juice box. Also want to thank you us Med and remind you to go to us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, and the brand new Omni pod five series. Ask the Expert that was at episode 1081 82 and 83. Those are questions from Juicebox Podcast listeners asked directly to three experts working at Omni pod who all have type one diabetes and use Omnipod five. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.