Scott Benner 11/9/23 Scott Benner 11/9/23

#1059 Parenting: Building Positive Communication

Scott and Erika talk about building positive communication. They discuss reflective listening and the recurring reasons behind miscommunication.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1059 of the Juicebox Podcast. It took me four times to record that correctly

Erica Forsyth is back today as we continue on our parenting series. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Also, while you're listening, remember that if you live in California or a number of other states, Erica Forsythe is available to be your therapist. Check her out at Erica forsythe.com Speaking of dot coms cozy earth.com use the offer code juice box at checkout save 40% off for your sheets your towels and your beautiful comfortable clothing and ag one drink ag one.com/juice box get five free travel backs in the year supply of vitamin D with your first purchase at my link. Check out the defining diabetes bold beginnings Pro Tip series type two Pro Tip series all kinds of great content from the Juicebox Podcast about your diabetes is available. If you would like to see lists of them go to juicebox podcast.com. Go up to the top to the menu it will take you all through it. Or if you're in the private Facebook group, head over to the feature tab where you'll see lists of all the series

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Absolutely fantastic, incredibly accurate. Wonderful Second Chance test strips. What am I talking about the contour next gen contour next.com/juicebox But if you haven't heard the remastered Pro Tip series that goes from Episode 1000 to 1026 There are special contour next gen ads just in the Pro Tip series. And I'm just going to tell you go over to the Pro Tip series. Check out those ads for the contour next gen because there's a special link in there. If you're a US resident and this is while supplies last so do not dilly dally, absolutely free meter. Just go to the website, fill out the thing. Boom, here comes the meter. today's podcast is also sponsored by better help, you will save 10% off your first month of therapy at my link better help.com/juicebox Welcome back. We're doing Episode Two today of our parenting series that does not have a title yet.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:40
So yeah, it might just be the the parenting series, actually called

Scott Benner 2:44
the parenting series without a title. But last week for Episode One, we talked about different parenting styles. So if you want to go back to that episode, tell me what they are again,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:56
authoritarian, authoritative, uninvolved, slash neglectful, and permissive.

Scott Benner 3:05
And we did a nice conversation that discuss the four of those reasons why they might be sometimes negative or positive? Or how to kind of see it in yourself if you're doing it. And today, we're going to do Oh, I like this one. building positive communication. Yes, this is great. I'm going to tell you, I think that most of the problems I've experienced in my life with other people are in some way, shape or form based on a miscommunication. So yes, it can't be It can't be stressed enough how important this is. When people come into you? Do they always come singularly? Or do they come as family sometimes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 3:46
actually, both, I will have often one caregiver reach out with the intent of me supporting their child or teen. Often it's really beneficial to weave in some sessions with the parent and the child. I think it would be amazing to have more, you know, parent, whole family sessions would be wonderful. That is logistically challenging. A lot of the time. Yes.

Scott Benner 4:15
So when you get them in a room together, do you sort of sit back and watch the dynamic? Or do you ask questions? Is it a mix of that? Like how do you get to how do you get to the part where you have can make an assessment about what's happening?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 4:31
Yes, oftentimes if I have a parent and a child in the room, often I have heard from both of them individually of the of quote, what is the problem? And then it's really beneficial for me to see the dynamic play out. Where you know, is one person cutting off the other is one person misunderstanding the other? Are they really aligned and understand validating each other and prac dissing reflective listening, we'll get into some of these terms. So yes, it's I often like to see and observe their communication and their dynamic play out so that I can help intervene.

Scott Benner 5:13
Do people assess the other person's intention? Well, normally or does is that the basis of a bad communication? Like you just don't understand? Maybe, maybe our maybe our speech styles are different, or one person is like very black and white minded, and the other person speaks an allegory or something like that. Like, is there confusion there? Like with how people talk? I guess my question is, do you find that mostly people's intentions are good?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:40
Yes, yes. I think the well, they're a they're in the room. They're seeking, they're seeking help they have some awareness that there's a problem, right? So there's already that they're leaning into, hey, we want to we want to address something, or maybe sometimes we're not quite sure what the problem is. And oftentimes, maybe it's an assumption of, you know, assuming what is wrong, or assuming how we're miscommunicate. There's oftentimes there's assumptions that are interfering with the appropriate communication.

Scott Benner 6:10
Yeah. And so that's kind of how you think of it is its assumptions, like, I hear one thing, but my assumption is, you mean this, or you said it because of this, even though you're not telling me. So it is kind of a human thing to expect that the person you're communicating with is, has some sort of an ulterior motive that you're not aware of, is that right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:30
Yes. There's when you just practice some really good reflective listening in terms of you just I just said something, and you said, No, I hear you saying assumptions. That was really, that's really good. So is there an ulterior motive?

Scott Benner 6:46
Well, not if there is, but do people assume there is like, Do people just assume that they're not being told the whole truth that something's being held back? And that, does that cause a little bit of the problem, because I think the personality that just believes everybody? They're not going to be upset by anything you say? Because they're just going to take you on face value and move on. But if I'm the person who's like, well, what are they really mean by that? Or what are they trying to accomplish? I'm always trying to work out what the other person is up to, then I could be putting on them thoughts and ideas that they don't have? And I don't know, it just it seems to me like, it shouldn't be that hard to say what you mean, for someone to hear it? And for you to absorb it. But it's it's one of the most difficult things on the planet? You don't

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:34
I mean? Absolutely.

Scott Benner 7:37
I don't even know what my question is, like, really, like, just like, what people are gonna get. Everyone listening has a misunderstanding going on with someone right now. And they genuinely probably believe that they're on the right side of that disagreement. But both people think they're on the right side of that disagreement. So either they don't, you don't want to hear the other person or you're not interested in the other person worry, you steadfastly believe that you're coming from a good place. So that must mean they're not coming from a good place. That's the assumption I think is that's it took me a minute

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 8:14
that I'm right, and you're wrong. Yeah. That either my belief is right, or my position on this point is right, and you're wrong. And so there, that's where people get into a you know, they're frozen, right? They can't they can't move past whatever the argument is, if one person is believing they're right, and the other person's wrong, then guarantee that the other person is believing the same, same, right? So they're not going to budge.

Scott Benner 8:42
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Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:08
I don't know, props to that person for having that awareness. Wouldn't it be great if we entered into a conversation saying, Hey, I leaned this way in a conversation, I can speak over you I can be rude. I can be Curt, you know.

Scott Benner 12:20
That's exactly what I was thinking. Actually, I actually said, tell them that, like, just say that, because I think it fixes the whole problem. You mean, you still need the person on the other side to understand their shortcomings or whatever. But is there? I mean, you've done this for a long time, right? Is there a thing like a central thought you have about why people have trouble communicating? Like if I asked you, like, boil it down to a thought?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:47
I think people have trouble communicating, because they are two things. I don't know if I could do one reason two things, they are either not listening, or they are misunderstanding what the person is trying to communicate. Or the person is not communicating clearly. So three things, right. Right. So there's, there's the as we've talked about before, there's the sender and the receiver. And if the sender isn't being clear, and there's interference, the receivers not going to hear the message correctly, if the receiver is thinking about what they're going to do tonight, or they're irritated about the thing that just happened 10 minutes before, even if the sender is communicating, clearly, the receivers not going to hear it accurately. So the sender and the receiver have their own stuff going on. And then there's the delivery. And they all have to be in alignment for the message to be delivered and received correctly.

Scott Benner 13:37
But if we can't get them in alignment, what do I do on my side to make it okay, like, so I can tell you what I do. I don't know if it's right or not. I have this basic feeling that when I'm dealing with somebody, so there's two different types of people that I'm either dealing with the person who I have knowledge of, or I'm dealing with the person I don't have knowledge of, when I deal with a person I have knowledge of it is always my assumption that they are coming from a good place. So even if I don't understand what they're saying, or even if it doesn't make sense, I never jumped to what the hell's wrong with you, I always say with, I must just not be understanding this correctly, or they must not be saying it correctly. But overall, I've been with this person for 20 years, 15 years, I've known this person for 30 years. I know their intentions are good. I just assumed their intentions are good. And then with just that one act, it all goes away. You know, and when I'm dealing with a stranger who I can't make the assumption that they're good, I just give them the benefit of the doubt. And by giving them the benefit of the doubt it releases me from having to judge them. Does that make sense?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 14:50
Well, yes, and releases you from heartache or defensiveness or attacking or reacting, right you're you are responding when you are entering into a conversation from that grounded place of they're doing the best they can, right or they have they have good intentions or they, you know, are trying to communicate something, you are not going to automatically react in an inappropriate way. My best

Scott Benner 15:15
example would be you could live next door to somebody forever, be lovely people have nothing but good experiences with them. Been there for three and a half years, great people, etc, then all of a sudden election comes up, and they throw a sign in their front yard. And it disagrees with your idea. And you think what's wrong with them? If you just continue to think they've got thoughts and ideas that are different than mine? They're still the same people that were before because we all say that all the time, right? Like, what's the what's the thing you hear him like the political realm all the time, like the assumption is, most people are well meaning and probably fairly centric with their thinking, like, great, most people are probably not real far one way or the other. And that we all sort of have the same concerns, you know, freedom, liberty, food, shelter, health care, that kind of stuff. But as soon as we get down deep, and we're looking for something to argue about, it's super easy to go, Well, there's a difference. I'll focus on that difference. Taking it out of politics and bringing it back into a personal conversation. The minute you it's wrong, the minute you feel like something they said is wrong. It's like an attack point. And now you're not. Can you hear that thunder? Yes. Oh, it's gonna be the last last episode ever. When you're in the middle of that, I think that people defend their feelings. And I think people get confused with their ideas and who they are. I think they commingle their ideas with who they are, oh, if that makes sense or not. And then they're that human thing comes in, I want to win, I want to be right. I want to be on the right side of this. Like Bob, even even when it's you looking across at somebody you've been married to for 20 years, for some reason, you're trying to beat them in this conversation. It's ridiculous are your kids who you would 10 minutes ago, have maybe jumped in front of a car to help now you're in the middle of their bedroom, saying something absolutely ridiculous to them, because you don't want to be whatever, like wrong, or I don't know, you gotta let it go.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:21
That's all I'm saying? Well, and it's the ability to either let it go or enter into the conversation from a really stable posture is dependent on all the other things that happened to that night, that morning, at work with whoever you interacted with your past trauma, right. So all of that is at play in every touchpoint that we have when we communicate with our partners, our friends, or our co workers. And it's hard, it's hard to constantly be in tune with how we're feeling as we communicate. But the first step is yes, just having that awareness of how where am I? Where am I today, as I enter into this conversation, without attacking, responding,

Scott Benner 18:05
it's interesting how quickly someone can get lit up and let go of all that stuff. You know, like the, this is just verbal, obviously. But you can even see how that path leads to like abusive behavior to like, how do you let go in that moment of, that's the person like, that's my person right there. And now suddenly, everything you're doing is acting like they're a non consequential punching bag. And it's really, really something so. So we know this is important, right to have healthy communication, know how to resolve conflict. But that's not easy either. Right? We don't get taught how to resolve conflict at all.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 18:45
Correct. So I think the we enter into a conflictual conversation based on the things that we just talked about, right, like the misunderstanding, based where are we at in our own mood level. And prior to even getting to talking about the conflict resolution, one of the easiest ways to make sure we're understanding one another is to reflect back and it's super simple, at its core, and it can be feel really silly, sometimes it's something they teach in all grad schools for psychology therapy, there's reflective listening so you say I want to eat an orange today and then you would respond back I hear that you want an eat an orange today, you're starting very simple to then bring it into when you're communicating with really complex thoughts and feelings. The person that is the receiver can respond by so this is what I hear you say is Am I hearing you correctly? And you can do it written you know, you can do reflective, you know, written response. You can also do it verbally. It's hard to do on a car constant basis. But when you start to feel yourself those like, you know, emotions rising, your heart is racing, you want to attack and respond. And I know I know that feeling right when you just want to prove your point. Okay, we they say, Okay, wait, let's take a minute, is this what your is? This is what I hear you say, is that correct? And that can prevent so much conflict, but it is hard to do consistently. Yeah, it really is.

Scott Benner 20:26
From your personal perspective, why is it difficult for you when it when it is?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:30
Because you have to be checking in with your own, like your own body or regulation? Are you feeling dysregulated? When you're in a heated argument, whether it's with, you know, parent, child or partner to partner, and you're wanting to prove your point, you're tired, you're stressed, maybe you're hungry, maybe you have low or high blood sugar, you're just kind of done. Maybe it's a conversation you've had over and over again, whether it's about whatever it is, it's really hard to step back and say, Okay, this is what I hear you say, and then the person might say this, that's what I'm saying. And you still might disagree with that. So then once you clarify, okay, I'm understanding the message, then we move into, okay, how are we going to solve this problem or this conflict? But before doing that, you really want to get clear of like, what it is that we are having this? What are we arguing about?

Scott Benner 21:25
I, I will share something personal with you. So if I'm having a disagreement with my wife, I should say when it definitely happens when I'm having a disagreement, or she and I are disagreeing about something. If the situation is that I'm coming from, I'm saying something that she's misunderstanding, I don't care that She misunderstands me. But I literally get hurt if she if her misunderstanding highlights that she thinks I would do a thing I wouldn't do. I don't know how to put that in better words, but when she if she if what she's saying, makes me feel like she thinks poorly of me. I find it very upsetting. And then it becomes incredibly important for me to explain myself, because I don't want her to think I would do something like that. And then after that hurt part goes, I'm angry that after giving 30 years of my life to our union, she would think that off me. That's maybe one of the hardest things for me to deal with in a personal relationship. Now, if I'm being a bad person, I just go home and I put my head down. Right. But But if if I've just said something and you've misunderstood it. My first thought is what I said. The second part, though, is really the part that I don't know, it lights me up inside, like, I guess on a simple way, how could you think I would think that or do that? Right? It's up? Yeah. Don't you know me better than that, after all this time? It's hard on me.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 22:56
She's probably maybe she's she came at it in that conversation. Maybe she's had a hard day and is not thinking clearly and slowly and is making these quick assumptions. But even though she knows who you are at your core, but this is really common to Riley because we're you know that your partner is honest, and hardworking. But maybe in a moment, you make a comment saying, Oh, you're lazy. And then the partner thinks no, but the one of my core values is that I work really hard. But maybe the partner who accused the other one of being lazy, is feeling tired themselves or is irritable because have they gotten to a traffic?

Scott Benner 23:37
Timeout think sometimes she's just trying to burn my ass and she picks the thing she knows is gonna get to me the worst. I think she's like, this argument is going nowhere. Let's just piss him off instead.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:50
Well, you know, that happens in relationships, too.

Scott Benner 23:52
Yeah. And I don't think it's a conscious decision. I don't think someone sits there and thinks this has been going on too long. Why don't I make him crazy? When you get into a conflict? And you have to like, like you said, it's gonna be hard to stop. But I mean, we're talking about parenting specifically. I want to start by by helping by sharing something that a 22 year old just told me recently in an interview, that this guy was talking about how growing up whole timing he thinks he started smoking weed when he was a sophomore in high school. And his father wrote him about it and wrote him and wrote him and wrote them and then once he was a legal age, he realized his that smoked weed too. And they were now like, not doing it together specifically, but he's like, now it became clear and he said that the hypocrisy stuck with him. You could tell that's where he got caught. Like, how could you have been giving me so much trouble about something for so long about a thing? You do? So I don't care if we doesn't matter. It's not the conversation. It's hypocrisy. Kids smell that a mile away. And I think it's the damaging when you're hypocritical with your kids, but it's hard not to do.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 25:06
It's, it is so, so challenging. Because if we're thinking about, yes, you're right, like we decide, could it be like cursing

Scott Benner 25:15
or something smaller?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 25:18
something smaller. I mean, even like, let's say brushing your teeth, or I'm trying to think of like a behavior, but it also could be something that you communicate, and you're trying to raise your child up to have these, you know, good habits. And then they learn. I'm just kind of I'm practicing some reflective listening here to make sure I understand you to say, you know, the child realizes, wow, this whole time you were you were training and teaching and parenting me to not do this thing, I realized you're doing it. I think in those in that moment, it would be amazing if that child now you know, adult child could go back to the parent to have some conversations around that, like, Dad, what what was this? What is this about? But there is a lot of pain and violation of trust. In that space.

Scott Benner 26:06
I think the only way to stop that is you can't hide who you are, whether it's in a conversation, or if it's physically or like an action. And I get you like, I want to I'll use a bigger, more bombastic thing. Like if you know the trouble of heroin addiction, and you see your kid moving towards heroin, I get that you're going to be hypocritical, but there's a way to not be hypocritical. Still, you can still say, I see that you're going towards this thing. I've made that mistake. Here are the things that it's done to me, not just say don't do that. Or don't be like me like that. That's too simplistic you because that also children don't. When you point something out about your kids, that is a trait of yours, or a trait. Here's where I've seen it the worst. Let's say you got a couple of kids and one of your kids has some of the moms trade some of the kids has some of the dad's trades, you should never say to the other one, oh my God, you're just like your father. Because what are you saying? You're saying you don't like my dad, or at least this part of him? And you don't like me? That's, and that's not what you're that's not what you think. And that's just not what you're trying to communicate. But that is exactly what you're saying. So you have to everything has to be explained that things take more words than people want to use, I think is, is that a fair way of like, Yeah, you can't just blurt things out, you have to be complete. I feel this way. This thing worries me because I know I've done it already, too. And I'm hoping to help you avoid this issue. There. Now you're not a hypocrite.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 27:48
Right? Yes, yes. I mean, we, the best parenting is through modeling what you want your child to emulate and replicate, right? Like we put on our seatbelt. And we model that for our children. And because we tell them to put their seatbelt on and we all want to be safe. And so applying that the modeling, it's okay, we are not perfect people. We are not perfect parents. And we might make choices that we know are not healthy for us on a daily basis, when it's developmentally appropriate to include your child into that conversation, I think is really a healthy mode of communication to say, Hey, I struggle with this. You know, I want to eat Red Vines all day, but we shouldn't because it's a no that's a random candy thing. I was gonna say chocolate because I love chocolate. Like we want it you know, it's okay to say to their child like, Hey, I struggle with this too. Whatever it is, and I'm I'm trying I'm trying to help correct this habit by this, this and this and let's do this together. I'm not

Scott Benner 28:52
saying I don't do it. I have listened in the funniest way I can tell you I've turned to my daughter a times and gone hey, look, I'm already married. If you want to break somebody's balls, go find your own guy. But I got a lady doing it for me already. I don't need you to. I can't take this from Twitter from France. But when but when my wife or either my wife or my daughter are being constructive and telling me something about myself, I don't feel that way. Right? Like it's it's okay then. But I'm sorry. I gotta loop back around. Conflict Management. Yes. I mean, we kind of aren't we're not at the same time. So you have to be aware like with anything, you know, the conflict can come at any time. And that's a thing. I think we all just know like, you're going along having the greatest day and all of a sudden you're in you're like how did we get here? What is happening? I just tried to go fishing to get a glass of water. Like you know, so you do need to be aware it could happen anytime. The list I'm looking at is from Canada, Canadians are lovely. So this must be right. Proactive. They're saying here like Big Think about preventing problem. ones not just how to resolve them, like, how do you avoid them to begin with. And then a lot of stuff we've talked about already, you know, try to understand all sides of the situation. initiate dialogue. This one I found very helpful when I was looking at know when to ask for help. And I tried to do that, if I get lost in a conversation, you when you start arguing in circles, you almost don't remember what it is you're talking about anymore. Like out there, I'll stop. And I go, I'm sorry. I don't I know this sounds wrong. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. Like you get, like, please just give me a thing to answer right now. Because I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm being shot out from 10 sides, and I'm just babbling trying to come up with something that's gonna make you happy. And I don't want to just make you happy. I'd like to actually, you know, assess what our options are here and do something about it.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 30:52
Yes, I think that's kind of on a, a broader scale to kind of when you're in that looping, and that happens. You're just you're arguing and then you're going on to the next point about whatever household duty and you're just kind of snowballing into this big fight to say, hey, let's take a step back. What are what was, why did we start this, what or I felt this way about something and you felt this way, like kind of going back to the starting like a reset in the reflective listening? I think in that space of timing. Maybe you guys have got it's you've there's been conflict for so long, whether it's been that day or weeks or months to say we need to either we need help, or we need to reset, but then when you're having when you're having the conversation, when you are feeling either wronged or your partner's feeling wronged or your child, it's so helpful to set up the right time to say okay, are you in a good spot to talk about this issue that we've been that we've been arguing about? And this This works for with your children, five year olds, you know it because we as parents, oftentimes we think, hey, there's a problem, we need to fix it. I know I am in that mentality often. And to remember, our children, our partners, ourselves, we all need to have a fair chance to engage in it in a really healthy conversation. So to check in on the timing,

Scott Benner 32:15
took me a long time to figure it out. I know, I've shared this with you in the past, but because I came from a divorced family. When there's conflict, I used to feel very pressured to resolve it immediately. Yes, and that's normally not okay. Sometimes people just need a little space before you can come back together. It's a it's a great, great thought. So how do people when kids are what they are like, right? Like I don't know, if you all are have younger kids are older kids, you there's a moment they get to a certain age, they just disappear. They're like in their rooms, they become more private and like that, and that lasts for a number of years. But with all the different reasons why it's hard for an adult to talk to a child. What are some ways to make sure that that those lines stay open? Because that,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:05
yes. So having an established I know this is particularly challenging, right? As they do become as children become teens, they want their independence, autonomy space, but to maintain the open lines of communication. We that's they want it to, right, I think there's oftentimes as parents, we can assume that the oh, they just they don't want to talk to us. They're going to just, you know, fight back or but I think what I hear a lot from teens is they still want, you know, with an appropriate level of checking in or a validation is a wow, I see you, you know, I'm thinking specifically around the diabetes P cycle. I see. Wow, this looks like a must have been a really hard day. How are you feeling? Whether you're looking at your blood sugars or not just how looks like it was a really great day, how are you feeling? Or just having those moments? I think they also can be they can be brief, as to maintain that open line of communication. They don't have to be as long. But this having a small checkpoints having routines, if they are open to it establishing when is your when are you going to have those check in conversations? Is it via text? Is it at dinner? Is it nighttime? Is it in the morning is you know, whatever it is. But I think asking engaging your child and inviting them into the conversation of like, hey, what do you want our relationship to look like? Without assuming they want it one way or the other or you're putting your assumptions on them?

Scott Benner 34:43
It also conveys a lot with those actions doesn't have to be these long conversations just asking somebody and my son was not feeling well the other day and a couple hours after he told me that I sent him a note. I said, I'm just checking on you, that's all and he said I'm doing It was like, Okay, I don't know if he's really doing good or not. But the point is, is that he knew that he didn't feel well. He shared that with me. I remembered it. And it meant enough to me to ask him about it later. I think that's the important part. Like people could get stuck on the, the important part is that he feels better Mike. Yeah, okay. He's 23 he's gonna feel better. He's gonna go to the hospital like I like I'm not in control of that, right. But the rest of it. I am in control with like, you're doing great. Or at the end of the day, last night, Arden has been commuting to back to college and she's got a broken up into a couple days, she drove 300 Miles yesterday. It's the first time she's ever gone that far on her own. At the end of the night, I just said, Hey, you did great. And and while your blood sugar's were terrific. I don't know what you did. But that was great. Now, here's the thing. Maybe she didn't do anything. Right? Like, hey, algorithms just running and it just worked great. And she might be like, Oh, I never looked at that, you know, like, but she still gets the leave that that momentary interaction with, Hey, I've done a thing. I accomplished it. And I it sounds like I did a good job. Cool. Roll on, you know what I mean. And those are the little things that ended up in. My son had an issue a couple of weeks ago. And he, he called us he was having a conflict of his own a personal conflict of his own. And he called us to tell us about it. And like, we talked about it for a little bit. We listened to him, we offered some thoughts, you know, didn't push him off of the way he felt. I'm like, just like, here's our perspective of this. And we got off the phone. And I said to my wife, how great is that? And she goes, what? Like he's having a problem with it. I'm like, no, no, like, how great is he called us? Like is that that's the great part. Like the rest of it's all bullshit. Like like that. That's what happened, right? He'll have a conflict, it'll come back, it'll fix whatever, who cares? We're not going to fix it for him. He thought to call us I was like, you're not paying attention.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 36:53
That's a win. Yeah, we won. Yeah. Well, it's a win. It's a win in your relationship, right, that do have that established trust, and, and safety. Like he felt safe and reaching out to you guys. So that's,

Scott Benner 37:07
and that's my point about when I hear about keeping lines of communication open, I think people hear those things, and think you're going to rattle off these 10 bullet points. And if they just do these things, then they are going to have open lines of communication. I don't think it's that at all, I think it's about creating, somebody just used this phrase with me, damnit, I'm gonna forget it a psychologically safe space, or something like that, like a place where when your brain says, I need help, it goes to you. And that's the communication. They don't have to be words, you could sit and put your arm around somebody that's still communicating, anyway, okay.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 37:46
Yes, yes, it's about the relationship. And we, it's hard to maintain that given all of the factors of life, but creating that space of trust, and dependency in a in a really healthy developmentally appropriate way. It takes time and effort. And it's hard to do all the time.

Scott Benner 38:07
So the next thing here on our list that I think is really important that is apologizing, like as a parent, especially, I mean, but in general, but it's for me, when I learned how to apologize to my kids, or to somebody else. To me, it's about like ego, it's about letting go of like that. Whatever the hell that is. That doesn't want you to be wrong, you know. So, I mean, my wife forced me to do it. She's like, you have to go apologize to her now. Oh, my God dammit. Okay. And like, and like in your head. I used to say, like, but no, I did the right thing. Like, you know, this was important. We can't care that she doesn't like it. And my wife's like, No, we can't care that she doesn't like it. But we don't have to fight with her about it. Like, and this went the wrong way. You have to go apologize to her. So I learned how to do that. It's very uncomfortable.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 39:03
It is uncomfortable. And it's also a piece of repair, right? You're repairing the relationship. And maybe you did. Whether it's you set or did something that made the child feel uncomfortable, or you truly did make, you know, if you made a mistake in how you communicated it. Not only are you repairing the relationship by apologizing, you're again going back to the modeling piece of like, Hey, I'm not perfect. And I'm in a model to my child, that it's okay to go ask, you know, to say I'm sorry, or ask for forgiveness. Like what a beautiful gift you can give your child in that in that space. It's a kind of really addressing to really key issues in that space. Like that's, that's great.

Scott Benner 39:50
It's so hard in the beginning, especially if you don't feel like you did anything wrong. And it's so then that means you can't you haven't step back far enough to reflect on the situation. See what you've done. So now you have to see that sometimes you're seeing it while you're saying it. And you're apologizing. Every it's just I didn't grow up that way, like, the way I grew up was I told you to do it, do it. That's that. And, and there is part of you that goes, well, I'm alive. And I'm successful. And I'm like, maybe that works. Like, maybe I'm supposed to not care. And I want to point out, I don't think you should be sitting around apologizing to your kids constantly. Like, you know, oh, I bumped into you in the kitchen. I'm so sorry. You know, like, that kind of stuff. I just mean, when you do something wrong, when you're hurt someone's feelings, or a thing didn't go the way you meant for it to. Or even sometimes when something's happening to them, that's got nothing to do with you. You can go in and say I, I am so sorry, this is happening to you. But you know, and go from there. You know, I'm not in control this but still and here are the things I am in control of that I did wrong. I shouldn't have done those things. I'm going to try better next time. I might not get it right. Next time. Please. Call me out. And again, if I do it again. Eventually, that gets easy. It's just did the first couple times you feel like an idiot like I sorted. Yeah. So your ego, right, that makes you feel that way? Yes.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 41:15
Ego and, and maybe flirting with that the mentality of you know, as you were sharing growing up in, you grew up in a very probably authoritarian type of parenting style, because I said so. Right? Because I said, so. And that's in that a No means no, and all those things. And I think one of the most common opportunities where we can exercise, you know, asking for, you know, saying I'm sorry, is when we start to yell, because that, you know, the kid starts to yell, your teen starts to yell, and then you get heightens. And so you yell back as the parent, and then you're both yelling, and then you find yourself yelling with your eight year old and like, what are what is happening?

Scott Benner 41:57
You don't know what life's all about that you've told that nine year old to go themselves?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 42:07
Yeah, that's, yeah, you need to go put yourself in a timeout, for sure. And I mean, I've been parents do that. And I think that's a great you know, if you do find like your kid, you are just beyond your, your at max capacity in terms of all you can handle and you're yelling at, you can't say you know what, Mommy needs to go get yourself in a timeout and like, do your breathing and do your what all the things you need to do. And then you go back and say, You know what, you still can't go to this thing, or whatever you was, you're arguing about like you still, I still believe that you can't do this thing or have this thing. But I'm sorry that I yelled. Like the delivery.

Scott Benner 42:47
I think the Go finding space for yourself is important. Because you know, your kids don't know that you're really just 10 years removed from being like, I don't know, a girl in a parking lot of a Burger King making out with boys and smoking weed. And now all of a sudden, they're looking at it, you're looking for answers. And you're like, I am barely on top of this. Yes, you sometimes you want to look at your kids and be like, You have no idea how amazed I am this house is warm. Okay. Thanks. So you're asking a lot here. But we don't have time. Like you don't have time, every day that you don't communicate well, with a child. It's not a day loss. It's much more than that loss, you don't realize it while it's happening. That's why That's why that joke is like, oh, they'll talk about it in therapy. Like, you know, I'm just gonna keep messing up day after day. But you don't have to keep messing up day after day. Like you could mitigate a little bit. You're not going to be perfect. But again, mitigation would be nice. Like, what if we cleaved off 30% of your stupidity? That's an embarrassing, like, you know, and, and you know, that that sort of stuff is, you know, joking aside, but pulling that thought together. I do think that's sort of what happens sometimes is that people really aren't, it's the best, not kept secret of people who are older. Like, I'm not that much smarter than I was 30 years ago. I really, you know, I the only thing grounding me is the responsibility I feel for my loved ones. Like if those kids and that lady downstairs didn't exist, I'd better show like, like, I just end if I had like an income. Oh my god, what a disaster I'd be. Right. Right. So and so that's still like, I didn't go to some class to be an adult. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just doing the best I can. I think sometimes people can't quell that side of themselves. So when they're dealing with their kids, they just like turn a key and shut it off and turn into like, whatever version they think a parent supposed to look like. And that is that can be a mistake. i That's my opinion, but you know, there's a way to be you and parent like you guys know me pretty well. I'm a moron. But my kids are pretty well adjusted, like gang so you know, like I found a way to be myself and at the same time, in appropriate situations, do the things that the person in charge is supposed to be doing without hopefully making them, you know, never want to talk to me again. But so far so good.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 45:08
Yes, yes, it's hard to do that, as you're talking about, like, you know yourself, you are, you are so much more than a parent. But that's, that is a big role, right. And layering on top of that, again, the game about the diabetes management, I know one of the common topics that we're hearing a lot of parents talk about is the mental load of life of their, their work, household duties. And then, and then we're thinking we're already at max capacity. And then we now have to deal with our child's pump change or site change, or we have to deal with this argument with our partner. So just recognizing how much you're carrying as an in all your other parts of life, really, is like the first step in increasing that awareness of how am I parenting? Like, how are you managing and holding yourself as you're, you know, a, as an employee, or as a good friend, or as a partner, and you're in your parent, it's that you're all these different parts. And having that awareness of how much one is influencing the other, it's really hard. It's hard work and to practice that empathy and grounding and slowing everything down. It's a it's a process.

Scott Benner 46:27
Hey, guys, just jumping in to remind you that one of our sponsors, BetterHelp is offering 10% off your first month of therapy, when you use my link, better help.com forward slash juicebox. That's better. H e l p.com. Forward slash juicebox. Better help is the world's largest therapy service. It is 100% online boasts over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists, and you can talk to them however you want text chat phone or on video, you can actually message your therapist at any time and schedule live sessions when it's convenient for you. Better help.com forward slash juicebox save 10% On your first month. So from a practical standpoint, I find that turning diabetes tasks into breathing is that is a mistake. What I mean by that before that gets convoluted, you don't think about breathing, it just happens. And there are things that are going to happen around diabetes all the time, I tried to turn them into breathing, they're just things that happen. I don't have to be 100% engaged in them. And that's me 17 years into this I'm on day one, you're going to be fairly focused on trying to figure out a Bolus for something. But as time goes on, and you become better at it, to try to put it into the I don't know, just kind of mix it into the background a little bit, it's just the thing that happens. I've said before, like you don't approach a door and think I'm going to reach my hand up now grab that knob and turn it, you just your hand goes up, you open the door and you're through the other side, there's a moment when you'll be able to get diabetes to that spot. That's very helpful. Because I think what happens is like those pump changes come out like and now there's, you know, I have one right in front of me like, no, like a vial of insulin in front of you, right. And now it's this medical thing, and it's on the table and it's next to this device. And then your brain starts going, oh my god, I can't believe this, she's got to stick that on her leg. And this isn't fair. And before you know it, we spiral right away into how horrible all this is. I just don't, I don't give these things that agency over me. I just I deal with them like they're breathing or open a door. And then they're gone. And that's it, I don't keep them in my mind. And I don't dwell on them while I'm doing them. And I think that can be helpful to avoid that. Because there is mental load, like right, there's a lot going on. And me if you just stop and think about it, if you're in a family of four, you have a relationship with your spouse, your parents, the people you work with, you don't think about it, you walk outside to get the trash you got this dance you do with your neighbor, when you see them, like you know, they mean like you're you ever you have a relationship with One child, another child, you might be responsible for the kitty litter. And then on top of all that who's keeping this place safe and warm and dry, and who's buying shirts and, you know, I want to have sex and like, you know, I'm hungry. And I'd love to play Playstation by myself for an hour or one more time Malay like or, you know, I'd like to go shopping and nobody bother me or, you know, what's the thing you hear people all the time, like, I haven't taken a shot by myself in 10 years, like like, you know, like, like that kind of thing like it all that's happening at once and then somebody comes in and puts his vial of insulin in front of you goes, hey, don't forget that your youngest kid has diabetes. Like think about that too. There's got to be a way where you don't think about all those things and focus on the interpersonal stuff. Because I think when the interpersonal stuff gets good, all of it gets good That's my assumption, or better

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 50:03
to two thoughts. I think there's, there's the journey, right of thinking about the diabetes, as you mentioned, you know, you're 17 years in. And there might be a moment, you know, in five years where something happens with Arden that might trigger, you know, I'm not putting that out there is like, there are moments like maybe there's, you know, I've had it for 33 years, maybe there's going to be a complication that that arises that you'd were not anticipating and you'd worked really hard to prevent, that is going to be triggering, and you're going to experience grieving around this chronic illness. I think there are moments where you can get into that routine where it does become mindless, and just part of breathing. And then it's also okay to have moments where you're just like, yeah, Damn this really, this really, is that car.

Scott Benner 50:54
Yeah, yeah, it certainly can sneak back. Listen, I have a complication and getting old, I just have surgery on my foot. Right? And I was sitting there thinking like, Oh, God, like, I'm so old, my toe stopped working, like what the hell? You know, and that brings in thoughts about how much life you have left. And it's not it's a month 52 thing. And people like that so young, is it? Not? If I'm dying, when I'm 70? Because that sounds like I'm almost done. And you know, and I just started to figure things out, you know, like, so any little thing can kind of push, there's nothing wrong with feeling it. And there's nothing wrong with thinking about it. There's something wrong with holding on to it. That's just gonna waste your time, I think.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 51:36
Yes, I think there's there's a process. And I think holding both of the thoughts that, wow, diabetes is not going to get in the way of my child's development, or if it's, you know, my own. And it's a really serious chronic illness, that takes a lot of work. And so I think we're always constantly as caregivers, or people with with type of diabetes, you're always holding that, right. And some days, the bout the skills going to tip where you're like, I got this, and it's not going to stop me. And then some days, that scale might tip the other way. Really, this is really hard. And I wish I didn't have to deal with this right in this moment. Because I want to go run off and do this other thing.

Scott Benner 52:16
It's Listen, there's no doubt it's difficult. It's always going to come up at the worst time. But I think that's, again, acceptance is just such a big part of it. Because yes, you know, it. I hear people say all the time, like why, why do I always need to change my pump or my this or that at the worst time, and I always say, What would have better time have been, there's no good time for this app. And this isn't the thing that you need. Like, again, you know, diabetes, I've heard it, I've explained it as sometimes it feels like you have to remember to breathe. Like it's almost like you have to sit there and tell yourself, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe, because if you don't do that your health slips away. And eventually, like I said, it gets to the point where you understand that enough where that kind of fades into the background. But when it like you're saying comes back and slaps you in the face, all the sudden it's there again, I was about to go for a walk. I was about to go to bed. I mean, that's the worst it literally your whole life, your whole day and you're exhausted and the only thing you want to do is go to sleep and you lay down and you or your child's blood sugar starts to thaw. You're like or the other day, Erica, I swear to you, I walked through my my downstairs, and I was trying to get into the kitchen to get a drink. And it felt like within six seconds. The UPS guy rang the doorbell Arden's high blood sugar alarm went off. My dog started barking, and I dropped something. And it it literally felt like it all happened at the same time. And I was like, What the hell? Like, oh my God, but but here's the difference. I treat life like an action movie that's trying to kill me. I just watch the things that by my head, I go, Oh my god, that was amazing. And then I keep going. Because I don't have time to sit around and talk. I've done a lot of cool things in my life. I can't tell you what any of them are. I used I have friends who are like you remember the time that you went to a private airport at two o'clock in the morning and flew from Philadelphia to Albany, New York with stuttering John from the Howard Stern Show on a private plane. And I go yes. Oh my god, I do remember that. But I never would have thought to bring it up cuz I don't remember. And like, like, and to me, that's it. Like, I have memories. And they fill me up. But I don't live in the past. Like I'm always moving forward. And I mean, it's been working for sharks for millions of years. I think people should try it once in a while. That's all swim forward, eat a fish. Keep going take a crap in other fish. And sleep. Yeah, don't start thinking about the Khajiit last Thursday. It's upsetting. Keep going Do you have a note here? I don't want to ignore that you put in the notes. I know you want to talk about it last week, and we thought it fit in here too. But let's kind of bundle together cultural backgrounds and the differences that those can bring up.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 55:13
Yes, I think, you know, obviously, we are two people playing White, or white, or white. And oftentimes, I know it can be easier to speak from what feels like normal in your upbringing, we are trying really hard to expose, you know, all the different styles. And I do think it's important to note that there might be different expectations and of how when parents based on your cultural or ethnic background, and I think it's important for us to just acknowledge that we're not trying to say, you know, if that if that is your custom, and that is your culture, of how that the parent is the authority figure. And that's the way it goes in your culture in your background. And that works for you, then I think that's healthy and appropriate. But I think what we are trying to do, though, is shed light on other ways that you know, just where can we improve? How can we grow, while also being kind and gracious to ourselves?

Scott Benner 56:11
Well, I don't disagree with you. And at the same time, I'll add that I've gotten to watch two generations of Indian families, show up in America and raise a generation of children. And if you think you're going to bring culture to America, and then integrate your children with all of us, white people. And you think that it's not going to be easy to hold on to, I've watched people give up on some pretty hard held ideas pretty quickly, because you start I mean, you introduced that freedom. And I don't mean like American freedom. I mean, just like, you know, like the way things work here. And you start giving people like, you can't do this, because of that. And this and people go, I don't know, I'm looking around that didn't happen and other people, and I'm not inclined to listen to you, and I have a phone does, you know, like a Google everything, you know, did you know, like, we brought it up before, right? You can pick up your phone, and you have access to more information than the President had in 1960, or something like that, or 1980, or something like that. So you can't, it's harder and harder to hoodwink people into doing what you want them to do, whether it's for religious reasons, or cultural reasons, or whatever, because they're, once they can see it, then you know, they're only going to do it if they want to, or you're gonna have to force them. And I mean, that's on you. If you want to do that. That's fine with me. I don't care, honestly. But, you know, I'm not again, I'm not telling you about either wrong. I'm just saying if that's your goal, it's not as easy as you think. So, good luck. We've been dealing with this since the 50s. Since like, fast cars and Coca Cola. Like that's about how long it's been happening here. Right. So I mean, in the 40s people listened. And in the 50s, it started, but they blame Elvis, right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 58:02
Yes. Yeah. The disrespect. Yeah.

Scott Benner 58:06
Are you telling me Pornhub? Is Elvis this fault? It could be a genealogist. But I mean, maybe. But no, I mean, it's just it's hard. Like, and I think that for everybody listening it, forget your cultural background, like, that's the situation you live in now that you're raising children in a in a time when they, they can fact check you in three seconds. So it's not even worth lying to them. Because they'll find out or they'll go ask somebody else. And it's not just about like, what is kissing? Or, like, now it's everything. They literally know everything. Some of the stuff my daughter laughs at I'm like, What the hell? Oh, why does she know about that? And, um, it's just the other way ahead of us. And it's gonna be I want to stay alive long enough to see where it gets them. Because in the beginning, they look overloaded, like, right, isn't that the that's what we've been saying for like the last five or six years, like, oh, kids are overloaded, they're getting more information than they need. Yes, but it's gonna come out in the wash, and like, and you're gonna see, you're gonna see people in their 30s and 40s and 50s, I think that are well ahead of where you and I were in our 30s and 40s and 50s. And then their kids are not going to be anxiety ridden the way they were because we're going to have another generation of this. Yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 59:27
well, we'll have to replay this and the next 20 to 30 years and see and do some fact checking.

Scott Benner 59:33
I'm going to be absolutely dead by then. So good luck to all of you if you're hearing this in a time capsule if I was right, find my grave and come pull one out for me and if I was wrong, just cut me a break. I was just making a podcast okay. I really appreciate you doing this. We've talked before Episode three we're going to record next is going to be about self care personal growth for parents. Episode Four creating boundaries and expectations Episode Five is going to be avoided unintended consequences, and six will be co parenting and united front. And I think then Episode Seven recognizing patterns and breaking cycles. It's about as far as we've like, gotten to what we know for sure is going to be in this but we have a couple other ideas. And we appreciate you listening. So thank you and Erica can help people in person in California and online in California, Oregon,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:25
Utah, Utah, Florida, Florida,

Scott Benner 1:00:28
Florida get mixed in there. They're very far from each other. I'm holding up.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:33
Well, you know, they have I have some clients there from a long, long time ago or during the pandemic and Florida opened up a really nice telehealth policy. And actually, I'm currently also active for the next few months in Vermont, and I'll see if that if that goes past 2023.

Scott Benner 1:00:51
When it gets cold, the maple syrup freezes up and they take it away.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:00:56
I their telehealth policy might be extended. So I'm there currently.

Scott Benner 1:01:03
Do you think our states will do it? Or do you think that COVID God is many to do it as are going to?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:01:08
I think their states are currently really reevaluating what their telehealth policy is with, you know, COVID officially ending and some of those policies were closed. But then people I think really appreciate them and particularly states who don't have as much have many, you know, therapists because the numbers that they need, they need the actual numbers of therapists psychotherapists, all that. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:01:32
That's cool. Erica foresights.com.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 1:01:34
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:01:35
Thank you very much.

Thanks so much for Hey, thanks so much for listening to the parenting series with me and Erica Erica Forsythe doc.com If you'd like to find her she's obviously terrific and specializes in helping people with type one diabetes. I'd also like to thank that contour next gen blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and for sponsoring the remastering of the diabetes Pro Tip series. Don't forget what I said earlier in the show, go check out that Pro Tip series for that special offer link. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast and if you miss me in the meantime, head over to the private Facebook group and say hello. I'm always there.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors better help, you can get 10% off your first month of therapy with my link better help.com forward slash juicebox that's better H e lp.com. Forward slash juice box. If you've been thinking about speaking with someone, this is a great way to do it on your terms betterhelp.com forward slash juice box when you support the Juicebox Podcast by clicking on the advertisers links, you are helping to keep the show free and plentiful. I am certainly not asking you to buy something that you don't want. But if you're going to buy something, or use the device from one of the advertisers, getting your purchases set up through my links is incredibly helpful. So if you have the desire or the need, please consider using Juicebox Podcast links to make your purchases

#1058 Stiff Person

Janet has type 1 diabetes and a number of other auto immune issues.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to the Juicebox Podcast. This is episode 1058

Hey guys, let's get right into it Shannon's 54 years old she has type one diabetes diagnosis 37. Now, what else does she have going on? She developed cold verta Cordia at age four vitiligo at nine and stiff person syndrome after the birth of a child at around age 30. What a story. Settle in. And remember while you're listening, that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. Are you looking for the diabetes Pro Tip series that runs between Episode 1000? Didn't 1026 Would you like to save money? Oh, okay, well, then here's a couple of things you could do. use the offer code juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com. That'll save you 40% off your entire order. And if you use my link drink, ag one.com/juice box to get going with ag one, you'll get five free travel packs, and a year supply of vitamin D with your first purchase. Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes all our welcome 43,000 members strong. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast, this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom. When you use my link dexcom.com/juice box, you can get yourself a G six or G seven they have them both there. Go check them out. Speaking of things that links that they have, how about an omni pod, get the same tubeless insulin pump that so many people love Omni pod dash or the Omni pod five Omni pod.com/juice box Get started today. With my link. There are links in the show notes of the audio player you're listening in right now. And links at juicebox podcast.com to Dexcom Omni pod and all of the sponsors, using those links when you make your purchase helps the show.

Janet 2:22
Hi everyone, my name is Janet. I am 54 years old, and I have type one diabetes, and I got it when I was 37 years old. So I'm one of the late in life people. I'm from Southern California. And that's a little about me

Scott Benner 2:38
3754 What do you know about the number 37? Do you listen to the podcast? Well, I listened to the podcast, but I don't know. You don't hear all the silly things.

Janet 2:46
I say? No, it's not about 37.

Scott Benner 2:50
Alright, homeless, I don't want to get it right when I say number 37. Okay. When asked to choose a random number 37 is the most frequently chosen number. Oh, wow. When you say Hey, pick a number between one and 100 people most frequently say 37

Unknown Speaker 3:13
Okay, that's crazy.

Scott Benner 3:16
That's it. I don't know why exactly. So anyway, you fun fact for me? Well, yeah, I mean, what I'm saying is, did you get diabetes when you're 37? Or did the matrix give it to you? That's what I'm getting?

Janet 3:31
Yes, I think that matrix gave it to me.

Scott Benner 3:35
I want to be very clear. I don't believe in all that. I don't believe we're living in a phony reality. So you've had diabetes for 17 years?

Unknown Speaker 3:43
Yep. About 17 years. Okay.

Scott Benner 3:46
Well, I mean, I was gonna say wasn't a surprise, but I bet it was a hell of a surprise. Right?

Janet 3:51
Yes, very much. So.

Scott Benner 3:54
Any type one in your extended family?

Janet 3:58
None. Other autoimmune. Yes. And I actually had to go back and look up autoimmune diseases. So I make sure that I don't say some that aren't but I have a crap ton of them on my mother's side, okay. Give them to me. So, okay, so start with me. So at age four, they is before they even had a name for it. I developed something called cold. urticaria. And if you've ever heard of that,

Scott Benner 4:27
you get cold you get little bumps all over you and they're itchy.

Janet 4:31
Yes, I eat a popsicle and I almost died. Because my throat closed.

Scott Benner 4:37
Are you going to tell me that you have a thyroid issue? No, I don't have a thyroid issue. Interesting. Go ahead. What

Janet 4:43
else? Okay, so that happened at age four. At age nine. I developed I always say this wrong middle vitiligo, vitiligo vitiligo, yes, yes. So, three spots came and still have the same three spots and notice they're ones that was interesting. And I don't think they knew a lot about it then because they used to give me these pills to take and they would say go outside and lay in the sun. They'll go away, which I just got really, really tan. And the white spots just look more white. So

Scott Benner 5:19
what years? I'm so sorry, that really is funny. What year was that? Well, I was nine. So long time ago, because you're all so.

Janet 5:29
So what would that be? Like? 77? Something like

Scott Benner 5:32
that. What we're gonna do? Wait, hold on. You were born in 68. And then if I had nine to that I come up to like, 77. Yeah. All right. Yeah. So you're telling me that a trained medical professional told you basically to go outside and fill in those circles with some sun?

Janet 5:52
Yes, pill, take a pill and the pill made me get more tan. I don't even know what it was, you know, I was nine. So I remember. My mom would give me the pill and then a half an hour later, I would go lay out in the sun for like a half an hour. Every day.

Scott Benner 6:06
You take that pill in Ibiza by any chance? What was that? Did you take that pill in Ibiza by any chance? No. With Southern California, I guess you know, do you know the song? Oh, I think I do. Here's why this pops up because the guy just told you that I interviewed prior to you. One of his reality shows happened in Ibiza. And you were like I took a pill. And then I was like, I took a pill in Ibiza. The guy was in a PISA number 37. It's all making sense. That's, that's funny. Meanwhile, do you see how people's brains work? None of those things are connected to each other.

Janet 6:46
Right? It's like the seven degrees or whatever it is.

Scott Benner 6:50
Alright, so when you're when you're doing your spots didn't fill in? I assume right? You gave off. But stopped. Yes. Stop doing that. Did something else happen? I feel like you're gonna tell me six to seven autoimmune issues.

Janet 7:02
Yeah, no. So then after that, the next thing that became something that I didn't know was something until much later was I have stiff person syndrome.

Scott Benner 7:15
Get out of here. Do you really?

Janet 7:16
I do.

Scott Benner 7:18
I know that that is seems wrong, that I was excited when you said that. I know if I feel bad that you have I know. But you're the first person to say this. So what age did you develop it? What age? Did you understand that you had it?

Janet 7:34
Okay, so I first started realizing that something was wrong with me after the birth of my child. So I have one son, who's now he just turned 24 this week. So 1999 He was born. And I noticed things like this constant pain. So like, lay on the floor play with your baby was like just pure hell for me. I would try to lay on the floor. You know, you lay on your back. And you you know, you put the baby up. And you're Oh, I don't know. So I could barely get up. So I don't know if you want me to go into that whole thing right now or just tell you

Scott Benner 8:10
Oh, don't don't overthink it, just keep going. Okay.

Janet 8:14
So, you know, I go to my doctor, my general practitioner at the time and I say, hey, you know, I've noticed this issue I have like, I'm in such pain, like it's crazy. So again, his advice was, well, don't lay on the floor and play with your baby then.

Scott Benner 8:25
And get those spots filled in with them. So yes,

Janet 8:28
exactly. Different doctor, obviously. But still,

Scott Benner 8:33
was it really but yeah, go ahead.

Janet 8:36
So then, you know, all this time thinking about I had my pregnancy was fine. No gestational diabetes, nothing. Everything went perfectly. I was about 30 At this time, going along, well gained, you know, like 20 pounds. Everything was was it was a perfect pregnancy. And then at the end, I go into premature labor. And it was crazy because I take my mom with me where to Lamaze class, right. Yeah. And so then they're like, Oh, we're going to show you how the belt that you wear you know, around your stomach. It shows you if you're in contractions or not, and blah, blah, blah, right? So anyone, anyone want to volunteer, so I'm like, oh, all volunteer. So I go up there and she puts the the belt on me and then she leans over to me and she says, Do you realize you're having contractions? And I said no. And then she's like, Yeah, you need to go see your doctor. So the next morning I go to see my doctor and you know they put you in that dark room and and and monitor you and sure enough, I'm having contractions like every 15 minutes I don't feel anything though. So you know, they send you home with your little medicine and you're on bed rest and then about three days later I got up to use the restroom and like I thought it was just pee that you know, oops, you know, peed a little bit when I went to the bathroom? Yeah. On the way the bathroom and oh no, you need to come in because we need to test that so they test it out. That's amniotic fluid. So if Nope, you know, now you're in the hospital. So I was in the hospital for like 10 days before, I finally just said, Oh my gosh, if he if he said to hurry to get here, let's let's let's let him come. So, you know Pitocin for 24 hours, I was so sick they put me on magnesium sulfate I was just able to I was just incredibly sick the entire time in the hospital and then, you know, the neonatal comes in, they measure him for like this kids like seven pounds already. And I'm about six weeks, you know, like so it was that like 34 weeks at that time. So then they're like, well, we'll just get her up and walk around. Anyways, I tried everything. And then finally, the day I had him which was March 13. So it was like 35 weeks early. Like I was at 35. So five weeks or like you know, they came in and they're like, you're like full on on contractions on the on our machines and in the nurse's station and hearing you're laughing and having a good time. I'm like, I don't feel a thing. So they did one of those like little internal monitor things. And when they did that, they like pop the sack and it like I was throwing I was terrible. I was full on then and contractions, but only dilated like three centimeters and he's trying to come out it was just a mess. So they gave me the spinal block at that point. So then as I'm throwing up, I'm gonna lay in, you know, the side of the bed throwing up everywhere in there trying to put this in there like stay still and I'm like, Oh my gosh. So

Scott Benner 11:38
I don't want any babies to say something like get

Janet 11:43
it out. So he was relatively healthy. He you know, jaundice and then you know, in a oxygen tent for like three hours but he was healthy. He was 615 and 19 inches long and he's turned out to be a healthy human being. He was tall, great. probably

Scott Benner 11:56
scared. I don't know at three centimeters dilated. Have you ever been trapped into your blanket? In your bed? You can't find the edge of it. You start to panic. Yeah. Well, you think that's gotta be the same thing. You're like, everything I've read says this is where I go but I can't find it.

Janet 12:14
And it's so funny because they were like he's trying to push on he's getting like this cone head already. And I'm only like three centimeters and then once they deliver him you know how they measure their head, right? He was like 13 and a half centimeters his head. Oh, dear God. That's not natural.

Scott Benner 12:29
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Janet 15:16
in the funniest thing that, Scott is that when I developed the leak in the sack, they said it's at the very, very top of your, like, over your area, right? I said, like you said, this little finger, they're going like, you know, you're scratching it going, yeah, let me out. But so that's what I said, if he's in such a hurry to come into the world and knowing his personality Now it's perfect. Well, yeah, so he got here. But I always suspected that, that something went wrong in that process, like the hit something when they were doing the spinal tap. And that was what the pain was from. And I'm one of these people that tries to like, rationalize everything. Yeah. So. So you're

Scott Benner 15:57
under strain. You live with pain and stiffness, then moving forward? Yes. Okay. But how did they actually diagnose?

Janet 16:06
They didn't Is it funny story. I mean, I was going through a medical history for you. And I was like, dang, man, I went, like, I tried for many years, I January will come and I'll be like, this is the year, this is the year I'm going to fix myself and move forward. And so we ended up, my son goes off to college, we sold our big house, we moved into our vacation home up in Lake Arrowhead. And we're like, Okay, this is it, we're going to retire, I'm not going to have any stress, things are going to be better in my life. Well, they weren't. So there was a mountain doctor up there. They have no specialists like on the hill, you gotta go down the mountain. But there was this nice, you know, general practitioner, super nice guy who actually listened to you. And so he agreed to take, he had no type ones. But he agreed, as long as I stayed in range that he would, you know, continue to order the blood test. And if I needed to see the Endo, I'd have to go down the hill. And so I was talking with him one day, and it telling him about my constant pain. And he said to me, like, you know, that's not normal, right? And I said, Well, I've just been living with it for, you know, 20 plus years. And they tell me, you know, you know, oh, you have fibromyalgia, then they say, No, you don't have fibromyalgia? Oh, you have this? No, you don't have that, you know, it's just back and forth. Can because I won't live on antidepressants and pain meds, they just get aggravated with me. So he said, You know what, I, you know, after I've gotten to know you, you seem like a very rational person. So I'm going to send you to a neuro muscular specialist that I know down in Riverside, so I'm like, okay, so I go down there. And she sees me and does the whole, you know, brain, MRI, thoracic, and whatever the cervical all those MRIs. And sure enough, everything comes back normal, which is no ms. No problems with my spinal cord, per se. So she then doesn't have the equipment and sends me over to another local neurologist who does a EMG on me. And so that's the test where they put all the little needles in your arms and legs and in test your nerves and your knowing your muscles, okay, so they basically like shock you a little bit. So sure enough, that comes back abnormal. And then this whole time, I'm Gad, 65 Positive. So that's a huge marker for SPS. And so then they come to the conclusion. Oh, wow, we've never seen this case. And no one had ever seen a case of SPs and their practice. So they both got together and said, Yeah, man, this girl has stiff person syndrome. So,

Scott Benner 18:48
so how long did you get that diagnosis?

Janet 18:50
That was the end of 2019.

Scott Benner 18:53
But you believe it's been around since the birth of your 24 year old? Yes. So then the hard question is, you know, the hard question, right. Right. Doesn't this limit life expectancy?

Janet 19:07
It does somewhat, I think every case is different. It's definitely a degenerative type disease. And so when I I have a neurologist now who's pretty decent, he's, he hasn't, I'm the only one in his practice, but he saw it in his residency. So he said, you know, my, my guess is because you live a life that's very clean, like I don't drink alcohol, for the most part. Never have done drugs. And I'm extremely conservative with prescription medication even and, and I just try to eat as healthy as possible. He says, I think you're are keeping some of these other issues at bay, basically, like some people and I feel very fortunate because when I first found out you know, I go on YouTube, of course, right you Google it Yeah. And I was like, oh, dear Lord, right. Like I these people are in wheelchairs and I Having these full body spasms and I haven't experienced that yet, and I feel so thankful that I'm not at that. So I do limit a lot of interaction with, with stressful situations, such as family and in certain friends. I just say I can, I can't, I can no longer be in that relationship because it causes me stress.

Scott Benner 20:23
Yeah. So and, and treatments for this are like sedatives, muscle relaxers and steroids like stuff like that. Right?

Janet 20:30
Yeah. So the one they start you off with, which is what I stayed at. And I was, you know, hesitant, because I told the doctor, I'm like, Okay, let's we have to agree on on my treatment plan. I'm with all my doctors aren't we say we have to agree or else I won't do it. Yeah. So what they do to make sure that they have the right diagnosis as well is they give you 10 milligrams of Valium. So and you're supposed to take that twice a day. So if it doesn't knock you out and put you to sleep, right, then you have stiff person. And sure enough, it just definitely, I agreed that I would I didn't want to take it every single day because you end up there's people that are like 30 milligrams twice a day on Valium, and I just I don't want to live, whatever life I have left. I don't want to live like that. While my symptoms are not major,

Scott Benner 21:17
what are the symptoms? How does it look day to day, day to

Janet 21:21
day, so you know, pretty much you know, I wake up in the morning, and I'm stiff already. So I get out of bed, it takes you know a little bit, I always laugh because I say it feels like somebody like beat the bottom of my feet with a hammer while I was sleeping. So your first couple of steps are just like walking on shards of glass because you're so you don't relax at nighttime. So getting a restful night asleep. You know, on top of the type one diabetes is very difficult, right? So it's just you never your body's always tense. So you wake up in the morning feel like you ran a marathon last night. And then you get up and you get your routine going. But you know, getting up from the couch is a struggle, sometimes some days are better than others too. But I've noticed it's been really, really cold here lately. And the cold has just, it's just been a problem for I've had to take more value than I ever have, and actually have an appointment with a neurologist on Friday to talk about this. But your muscles just they freeze, they lock up. And you know, doing, like doing the dishes is very painful for me. You know, we have this big scene where you have to kind of lean over and wash the dishes. And we're not talking about a lot of dishes. I live for the most part by myself now. And I have to go sit down after I wash the dishes because my upper back just becomes like a vise. Okay, so then driving,

Scott Benner 22:47
can I ask have you tried weed?

Janet 22:50
I have not had to because I you know, I've always been that person. From a very young age, my sister did a lot of drugs. So I have an older sister. And so I was always very anti any kind of drugs. So I've never tried weed. And some people like I'm in some groups, obviously. And some people swear by it. Some people say it doesn't help that haven't gotten there yet. Like in my mind, I think that would be a huge hurdle for me.

Scott Benner 23:20
Can we pick through this for a second? Absolutely. I had this conversation with a doctor recently. They were asking my background. And I you know, I said oh, no, haven't done this. Haven't done that. They said Never. And I said No, never. And they go, okay. And I said, How about you? So the doctor is like a little older than me? And she says no, I never have. And I said why not? And she thought about it. And she said, I think I would feel like I was letting my parents down. And that's when we got to it because this is not a square person. This person I'm talking to do you know what I mean? And I think they know intellectually, and maybe even believe medically, that weed would be fine for them. And then we started talking about how we grew up and how like the messaging was, such as you know, like, don't use drugs. If you do drugs, bad things are gonna happen to you like in my mind, the way we grew up if I do drugs, all my teeth are gonna fall out. I'm gonna live under a bridge. And I'm going to eat out of rusty cans, and I'm gonna have to poop in the road. Like like that's like the LEAP my brain makes right because because that's just what that's what you're describing too. Right that you've been indoctrinated not to do this.

Janet 24:40
Yeah, I think after watching watching my sister and then how it affected our family. I tried to I have a lot of anxiety always have since I was very very young. And so ended up in you know, some psychotherapy due to the fact of trying to be, you know, the perfect wife at the time. Perfect student In perfect daughter, a perfect employee for everything had to be perfect in the world that I lived in. And I saw drugs and alcohol is an imperfection. So I still think that's why I'm hesitant even on the value, because they're like, if you took it every day, you'd feel much better. You'd have a better quality of life. And I'm like, I'm just terrified to be addicted to like anything. Like for some reason? Yeah,

Scott Benner 25:22
no, no. And so I would say, if you came to me privately, and you said that, I'd be like, listen, John, I'd prefer you smoke something like weed, and maybe don't smoke it like fine. I don't know if I'd be up for smoking all the time. But like, you know, a vape, or one of those hot vape I don't know, listen, I don't know a ton about it. But I'm saying like, overvalue like Well, why is it and this is where the argument gets. I always find interesting. Like, why is a pharmaceutical compound? Something that we all go? Yeah, that's fine. But nobody, but when you say like so there's, it's people of a certain age. If I said, Hey, you have a little anxiety. Maybe try smoking some weed, low Tea, tea. What is it? TS, th TCA th c thc. Sorry, there's so many T acronyms I don't even know. So so. So just something with low THC. And I'm not talking about like destroying, like a blunt, like, just have like a couple of puffs and see how you feel. And right away your brain is like, no, I'll become a drug addict, like people that I've known. And I'll live under a bridge, and I don't want to poop in the street. And like, like, you know, and blah, blah, blah or ruin everything. But the truth is, is that I think a massive amount of the population smokes weed. And you know, and I walk around, I keep waiting for Armageddon, it doesn't happen. And so but if I said you here's a pill, take it, and I was a doctor, you go okay,

Janet 26:46
well, yeah, some people me I'm like, the first thing I do is when somebody gives me a prescription as I go online, and I look to see like, I'm one of those and then you know, as growing up as a kid is still today, I was always I never took any drugs because I was for sure going to be that person that it was laced with something and then I was going to end up and I would be a vegetable in a hospital. My mind would know what's going on. But I would be like trapped in my body. It's legal

Scott Benner 27:11
where you live now. Right? Yeah. dispensaries and I mean, you obviously like, I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you on the weed. I think while we're talking. So

Janet 27:22
I'm gonna Puff the Magic Dragon.

Scott Benner 27:24
God, yeah. You're older than I am. In your mind. That's amazing. I'm older than you. And in age, you know, forget the age part. You would you went to that that's a reference that just everybody's like, that's what that's from like, yeah. And then there are plenty people like, I don't know what you're talking about. But I don't know. Like, it just seems to me that like, what would it hurt? Like, I don't think it's like you're gonna like because you could go to a dispensary and like bias, but like, you could probably buy single joints. Probably and just tell them like, here's my thing. Get one of those stone kids to look in the face and be like, Listen, tell me why. How do I make this go away? A little bit? I don't know. I'm down with you trying this. Plus you live on a mountain who? Who's there to judge it? Nobody?

Janet 28:13
Yeah, well, actually, we we moved. So after quick story. We moved up there. And we were gonna live there for three years. So it'd be our residence. Right? And oh my gosh, we had a snowstorm now not like the snowstorm they just got, which we're thankful that we don't live there anymore, because they got 10 feet of snow. Yes, it was horrible. I would have, you know, because my husband even said you would have had a panic attack and probably died inside the house because you couldn't see out the window or get out or whatever. And probably so we got three and a half feet when things giving and, and that alone was like it was so hard and our son couldn't get up to help us. And so there we are shoveling snow because we couldn't even get out the front door. And it was just crazy. So then my husband got this wonderful idea. Now he's from he's from a different country. He's from Argentina. But he got this idea to build a beautiful house on the beach in Rosarito, Mexico. And that's where we were going to, you know, live. So we moved down there and then I made it like, a year and a half. And then I'm like, I can't live here anymore. Like, I didn't like it. So I ended up coming back to our very first house that we bought when we got married and we had a renter in it and I told him

Scott Benner 29:29
What didn't you like about Mexico?

Janet 29:32
I didn't like we were in very south Mexico like the southern part of Rosarito. So it was very isolated and wasn't like you had to be home at night like you couldn't you couldn't go anywhere at nighttime. So and it wasn't so much like cartel or anything like that. It was more the drunk gringos driving because you know, in Mexico, they think there's no laws so the roads were very, very dangerous. And you know, the whole thing nothing happens good after dark well That's how it was down there. And, and I enjoy. Now you're gonna laugh at me, but so I enjoy like karaoke and singing and going out and not drinking and just having fun and, and those things don't happen at night. So where I am now I go and and I'm surrounded by like 78 year old people. It's funny, I'm definitely an old soul, I'm in the senior choir here and then I go to karaoke is at this very, very old restaurant. And you know, the first night I sit down, and I'm actually sitting with one of my high school teachers, and it was just kind of funny.

Scott Benner 30:38
I have to admit, we're not all the way through your story. And I don't know if we're gonna figure it out. But you've laid breadcrumbs that I can't connect. So, so you said that I mostly live alone now. And I thought, Oh, she got divorced or somebody died. And then it sounds like you just left him in Mexico.

Janet 30:58
I did. So like, I'll

Scott Benner 30:59
be back. Maybe. How long have you been married? Let all the people let the younger people know how long you have to be married before you go. I don't like Mexico. More than I like you. I gotta go.

Janet 31:12
So this year, this September will be 30 years.

Scott Benner 31:15
That's the number when I could just say, Kelly, I'm gonna leave. I'll be back in about four.

Janet 31:19
Yeah, yeah. So it was kind of crazy, Scott, because we decided that you know, what, like, this is about we're at a point in our life where, you know, our son has grown and, and we've done everything that, you know, we have these businesses that we built, we're both entrepreneurs. And we have everything we need, we're able to retire. So we retired, kind of on the younger side. And but we both want each other to be happy. Yeah. So and he just loves the ocean. He loves to watch the ocean. And I know that sounds terrible, but I don't like the ocean. It's loud. It's distracted. Like, you can never turn it off. It's like this constant noise even when the windows closed.

Scott Benner 31:55
Does it mess with your anxiety? It does.

Janet 31:58
It's I don't have any, like peace there. And so then, and then we have like the quota, which is like their toll road on the other side with the trucks that come down the ramp that are their big eat breaks or whatever they're called. And, and there's just there's a lot of construction because it's newer development. And, and all the people there love to party, and I'm not a party girl. I never have been never will be. And it was just kind of, you know, and then and then I made the mistake of getting on the HOA board as their treasurer because I'm an accountant. Oh, dear Lord, right. Talk about anxiety, stress.

Scott Benner 32:34
So we're not using all this money properly.

Janet 32:36
Yeah, well, no, no, I'm just just the people are just

Scott Benner 32:39
being involved with. Yes. So do I'm so sorry. I'm gonna ask you a horrible. Do you miss your husband day to day?

Janet 32:48
You know, I think we talk more, that we're now that we're like, you know, whatever that is 300 miles apart than we do when we're in the same house. So it's kind of it's kinda interesting.

Scott Benner 33:01
Wow, that the way you talk about it is so free and easy. That yeah, that you don't seem encumbered by that at all. And so I'm interested.

Janet 33:11
Yeah, and he comes like, so for around the holidays. He was here for about six weeks and he's actually here for he leaves this Saturday. He's been here for a month because our son's birthday, and he came up for some doctor's appointments for himself. And if I have a lot of stuff on my agenda, then he'll come up and help out we have two dogs that are rescues and once a handful so he's keeping her at bay right now quiet.

Scott Benner 33:37
Yeah, like Kelly here this or there's no way she's gonna stay here. She's

Janet 33:42
it's actually it's actually a nice after 30 years. And, and our son being grown and out and about, I kind of, I think both of us enjoy having some alone time, if that makes sense. No,

Scott Benner 33:58
it's interesting, because you're not talking about like a dissolution of anything. You don't mention you're not separated. You don't like that's not how you think of any of this, right?

Janet 34:05
No, like you neither one of us have, like, Oh, I'm gonna go out and get myself a boyfriend or girlfriend or I need this we just kind of like I want you to be happy in the ocean makes him super happy. And he loves to watch it and he enjoys you know, watching TV and, and I'm more like, I enjoy it. Well, it's funny because I have like a crocheting group that comes over on to my house on Monday on Mondays and there's like six of us and they actually told me, you don't have to coach anymore because you're so bad at it. I used to actually do something else. I'd be like this little other thing, but it was funny because I am such an anxiety ridden person that I'm so focused on trying to get the little thingy, the stitches or whatever you call them. Correct. And they're so tight, that you can't do proper crochet. They like that. And so after like three weeks, they're like, you know, you don't you have to crochet if you, you know, maybe it's not your thing, Janet and but we'd still love to come over to your house and you can do a different kind of,

Scott Benner 35:12
we liked how clean it is here your food is terrific. So you're gonna love it one day when you move into an old folks home, you're gonna be finally old people the way I like it. Nothing to do everything set up for me, you're gonna be like, 12 o'clock, I gotta go to lunch.

Janet 35:28
Yeah, so I'm like, and then like I said, at the senior center here is 50 plus. So I'm like, you know, senior ukulele. I just started, like, trying to play the ukulele. And then I do the choir. And we go and we perform it, like, you know, what do they call those? Oh, assisted living centers or whatever? Yeah. And, and I, you know, I just figured, like, I just got to try to live the best life that I possibly can live. Because I don't know. And none of us know. But I don't know, when I'm gonna have issues like when Celine Dion came out with, you know, she can't talk anymore. Because she has said person syndrome. You know, all of us in that society are like, we felt bad. But we're like, yes. Finally, there's somebody that people know, that has this, you know, disease. And so we're really hoping to bring some education and hopefully research funds to it because it's so rare. And then I look, I look at her and I think, oh, you know, because she's probably, you know, yeah, you sometimes have throat spasms. I haven't experienced that. But she probably can't walk around and get around the stage as much as she'd like to. So that's probably what's limiting her

Scott Benner 36:38
weight limits people's ages. How does it do it? Like through stiffening of organs?

Janet 36:43
Yeah, so Oh, yeah. So like, so when I'm driving a car, I think that was gonna take so if I'm, I'm driving along, right? minding my own business, and everything's good. And then somebody's like, honks their horn. And so if you, we have a startle reflex. So when we get startled, we normally have a spasm. And so when I'm driving, it seems to be like my diaphragm. So like, it just literally takes my breath away. Like, I just can barely breathe. And I'm like, try not to, you know, fixate on that and, and then like, looking over my shoulder, thank God, I have my car that has all the beeping that goes on, if I get in the wrong lane, or somebody's next to me, but like, even like looking over your shoulder can cause a spasm. I just like

Scott Benner 37:27
I was totally interesting. Hold on a second, you said like, do you try to? Is it possible to control them with, like relaxation techniques,

Janet 37:35
I tend to, like, try to so the the best thing I do is, if I lay down, everyone laughs because I gotta go lay down. I'm not talking about sleeping. Like I'm not, I don't need to take a nap. But if I get horizontal, like during the middle of the day, for at least 2030 minutes, then the rest of the day is okay. But if I don't get that, that rest and relaxation, where I'm just like, Okay, I'm not moving, I'm not doing anything, then I'm usually in extreme pain by the by the end of the evening. So, yeah, I think

Scott Benner 38:10
I'm not a doctor job. I think that's obvious if you listen to the podcast, possible that I'm not even a high school graduate. But I mean, I did technically get the paper. But I think you should smoke weed. I really, I mean, it just seems like obvious to me. And again, I'm not talking about and you're on? I'm not talking about like, you shouldn't be, I'm not telling you to smoke all day long or anything like that. But I would just wonder if a few puffs before bed wouldn't be a good place to start and see if you don't wake up feeling better. And if that's the case, then maybe you do a little bit, like on a schedule. Do you don't I mean? Yeah,

Janet 38:49
yeah. So after this podcast, I'll be like googling all this. You're telling me because Oh, my

Scott Benner 38:55
God. You haven't? I have? No, I've googled the hell out of it. Just while we're talking. A lot of people.

Janet 39:01
I have no idea. I have no idea how we eat or marijuana, whatever you want to call it affects people. Like I don't know if some people are affected in one way and some people are affected another way. I have no idea.

Scott Benner 39:12
I have a question. I'm gonna start asking people this question all the time. Describe how you think it's going to be

Janet 39:19
I guess I, I revert to my high school days where I think I'm going to be just like, yeah, man, and, you know, just stupid. And I'm an intelligent woman. So I wouldn't ever want to come off like, like brain dead. So that's kind of that's what I think.

Scott Benner 39:34
But you're by yourself in the house. Nobody's saying Yeah. You can call me if you want. If you start saying stupid shit. I'll talk to you. Here's what I'm thinking we should do. Maybe I should get weed and smoke it on the podcast, and then we'll, we'll find out. How's that? You tell me how to fix you and then maybe I'll try. I guarantee you. If it's based on the rest of my life, nothing will happen. I'll just be like, Oh, another thing other people enjoy. way that I'm getting nothing from.

Janet 40:01
Right. That's what I hear that too. Like, maybe it doesn't do anything to some people.

Scott Benner 40:06
So, no, I think it's gonna get you good. But I just think a little bit. No. All right, that's it. Let's get past that I'm sorry stiff person syndrome terrible anything else?

Janet 40:17
Let's see for me no.

Scott Benner 40:19
All right well, diabetes.

Janet 40:21
Okay well yeah my type one so

Scott Benner 40:23
does the cold urticaria still happen?

Janet 40:26
No, you know, it was something I grew out of about about 1314 So in my teenage years,

Scott Benner 40:31
how's your energy?

Janet 40:33
You know, I get tired but like they have before this before having the diagnosis of stiff person I think I dwelled on it more like oh my god, I'm tired all the time. Because when I went back to look through my my bloodwork, I'm like, man, they ran like my thyroid test and like, over and over and over and I'm, it's fine. Like, I've never had an issue with it. So but I get tired, but I kind of contributed to like, I'm pretty active. So you know, I'm not the woe is me person and lay in bed all day.

Scott Benner 41:06
Right? Right. So of these issues, obviously the cold eldercare is not an issue anymore stiff persons is it seems like a pretty overwhelming but a Lago we've given up on filling in those holes. How what do you think of more during the day? Do you think more about type one or the stiffness?

Janet 41:25
I think during the day, more On My Mind is the type one because I think I have more control over that than I do this stiff person syndrome.

Scott Benner 41:34
Okay. Prior to being intimate with your husband has he ever said oh, you're giving me stiff person syndrome be honest. No, I feel like you're lying about that. But that's okay. All right. So such an obvious Do you know that we brought up Celine Dion Dion? I thought Oh, I bet you she regrets singing a song called My Heart Will Go On. And I never said that out loud because it seemed inappropriate, but I just Alright, there's been no inappropriate dialogue about stiffness with you and a man.

Janet 42:13
No, because you know, before the Celine Dion I never told hardly anyone, even my parents. No one really knew because it sounded like so made up like it was.

Scott Benner 42:23
It's got a hokey name. Yeah, I'm with you on that.

Janet 42:28
Used to be called Tin Man. They call it Tin Man. And they used to be they used to call it stiff Man Syndrome, but more women have it than men. And it was just I was told for so long. Oh, it's all in your head. It's all in your head. Just exercise, you're gonna feel better, just you know. And then to finally be like, Oh, my gosh, I'm not crazy, you know?

Scott Benner 42:46
Yeah. You said earlier, you didn't do that. They talked about giving you like antidepressants. Did you ever try them? Yeah, I tried

Janet 42:55
them one time. And they had put me on Wellbutrin. And my husband he he had he restored it when he bought cars from auctions and then restored them like mostly classic cars, and then resold them mostly to Europe. Right? That's his job. So while I was on that, for a short period of time, he sent me to an auto auction to bet on some cars. And it was bad because the Wellbutrin gave me this. I'm like, like, I don't know, can't touch this kind of syndrome, you know. And so I was like, over Betty and I bought all these cars that were like, I paid way too much money for and, and I got home and he's just like, What in the world? I'm like, I don't know, I was just like an outer body experience.

Scott Benner 43:43
We own a $40,000 Pinto. It was really good paint on it. We'll sell it to a French person, it will be fine.

Janet 43:50
Yes. And he wasn't mad at me. He was just like, Okay, well, you're never going good. And I told them I said, I don't even know what happened. It's like something overcame me and, and I had when I was on it, I just had this like, I could do anything. What do you

Unknown Speaker 44:04
think of yourself as depressed? You know,

Janet 44:06
I think since I had some really difficult years that came, they started in 2016. And from 2016 to 2020 Well, probably when I moved I was able to move back from Mexico. Yeah, you know, and, and day that I'm better every day I'm getting better and better. But let me tell you that depression is real. So

Scott Benner 44:34
here because what you felt was likely the lifting of the Depression. Yeah, with the Wellbutrin? Well, yeah,

Janet 44:40
like I said, I it scared me so bad that I was like, No, I'm not taking this. So

Scott Benner 44:46
that was it. You start turning into yourself and you're like, I don't like me at all.

Janet 44:49
Yeah, it was just well, it's like an alter ego, like some like Superwoman, kind of,

Scott Benner 44:54
so you see yourself more as reserved and intelligent. And, and measured. Yes. And when you're not when you're not, you don't like that about yourself?

Janet 45:05
Yes, that's accurate.

Scott Benner 45:09
Okay, there are there are lines to draw together here. I don't know what they are yet. Do you see them?

Janet 45:18
I do because but then I perform, you know, I go out and I sing in front of strangers, and I do other things that that are more, you know, outside of my, my normal what I would say personality,

Scott Benner 45:33
but still a controlled environment, though, right, you're part of a group you show up at a plan, etc? Would you stop in the middle of the mall and start singing?

Janet 45:41
No, not unless I was trying to like embarrass my son or something.

Scott Benner 45:47
So I don't mean to infer because obviously, again, not a doctor. And there's a lot going on here. But there seems to be a through line between how your body acts and how your mind acts.

Janet 45:59
I think so. Yes.

Scott Benner 46:01
Were there ever times in Mexico where your stiff syndrome went away? Or was it worse?

Janet 46:07
It was worse because my anxiety was like off the roof. You know, like I was I felt suffocated and trapped. And it was an angry all the time it was it was really bad.

Scott Benner 46:20
And when you go to the mountains, it's not that relaxing, because now it's colder there. And they're draining isolated, and you're isolated, which you don't like either. So yeah, I like being around people, but not people who make a lot of noise or a lot of commotion.

Janet 46:36
Yeah, so I up there I in the mountains, I tried to join a women's group, which I have more male friends and I do female friends just because of the cattiness and drama right? So I'm like, Okay, well, I need to find something up here. And I had just, we moved up there in 2018. And that month, I mean, it was probably a week before we moved up there. We had my husband's friend had come to stay with us for just less than 24 hours. And, you know, he ended up committing suicide in our home and I was there. So my god I was in. Yeah, I was in a bad place. So we moved to the mountains, like almost immediately, and isolation and I was like recognizing that, okay, I have to like, find something. So I joined this women's group through the church and, and it was okay, like I said, first experience, but the mountain people were very, if you weren't born and raised on the mountain, then you'll never, you'll never be part of our, our culture type thing. So I had made friends with another lady that had just moved from Austin, Texas, and her and I kind of hung out and she she definitely she was older than me and she definitely helped get me centered and, and move past that part of my anxiety. And, you know,

Speaker 3 47:58
yeah, so that was, that was tough. Sorry, that's a lot. It was a lot. It was like, yeah, when you invite

Scott Benner 48:07
somebody to live in your house for a little while, like you think they're gonna leave hair in the bathroom, in the middle, like, probably not gonna eat on our schedule, like those of you don't. And this was that an out of the blue thing.

Janet 48:18
It was, it was a lifelong friend of my husband's. And when we first had bought our first house, he had come to live with us, right? He had just come to from Argentina to get himself situated. So he lived with us at that point for about eight months. This is before children and everything, you know, we were never here anyway. So we're like, okay, and he got himself settled and did very well. Hadn't, hadn't heard from him in about 10 years, but now things haven't gone. He's you know, married, he's got a child, the same age as ours. And, and, you know, out of the blue, we get a phone call, Hey, you know, I don't have anywhere to stay, can I come visit you and maybe stay with you a little bit. And we were kind of like, wait, what, you know, as far as we knew, he was married with his child, whatever. And so my husband being my husband said, Sure, you know, come on, and, and he came over and everything seemed okay. I mean, he definitely had some issues going on, but we didn't think that that was going to happen,

Scott Benner 49:15
right? No, I mean, how would you like that? That's Wow. Yeah. Where? Well, hold on. How do you manage your diabetes? Here you MDI use a pump? Do you have a CGM?

Janet 49:28
So I do that I have the Deaf Dexcom six, and I have the Omni pod fi which I just started in January of this year.

Speaker 3 49:37
Oh, how are you finding it? Good, you know,

Janet 49:40
thankful for your podcast. Let me tell you, that's a funny story. Because you know, I was on the I was on the euros from 2017. And then the dash from I think I started it in early 2020. So then the Omnipod five I needed to wait for a second because of ice Switched insurances from being $3,000 for it to three, or you know, zero copay. So I was like, Okay, I could wait. So I go on it no training girl, the girl called me and she said, Wait, what's our appointment floor? And I said, I think it's training for the Omni pod. And she's like, Oh, you don't need training, just watch the videos, you'll be fine. So I was like, All right. So then, after seeing on your Facebook group, you know, like, yeah, I was experiencing the same thing everybody else did. It was fantastic. I wasn't having lows at night, I was finally sleeping, you know, through the night last, you know, 20? Well, 24 years, I say, because once you have children, you never sleep the same, right? And then, and then I was having the highs. And so then I listened to your Pro Tip series. And I'm like, Oh, the light bulb went off, you know, like, okay, I can do this. Keep it in automated work through it. Correct? Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. You know, and it's going really well, for me, I'm definitely using more insulin now. But, you know, my I'm like, 80% of the time and range. So good for you. Yeah.

Scott Benner 51:02
Well, that's excellent. I'm glad it was awful. And I'm glad it's, I mean, I'm glad it's working for Where do you keep, you're able to say,

Janet 51:09
oh, so my last one was 6.8. So I'm hoping to improve upon that. But a funny story is, my endocrinologist called me the other day. And she's like, Oh, congratulations, you know, you're down from 7.1 to 6.8. And, and then then she says to me, Well, I noticed that your evening from like six to 10, your sugars are running a little high. And so I say to her, I said, Well, I think most of that is because, you know, I've eaten my dinner, like, you know, probably like by five, and then you know, the whole stiff person syndrome by six, I'm done. Like, I need to lay down and be done. I can't be up and around doing stuff. And I think that's probably lack of movement around. And so she says to me, she goes, Well, I want you to go in and increase your Basal during that period. So then I say to her, I'm like, Well, I don't think that's going to work because I'm trying to stay in automated mode the whole time. And I've just been trying to correct those highs. She's like, No, no, no, no, no, you need to change your Basal rate for that period. And so the nice, I mean, 20 minutes later, she finally said, Wait, are you telling me that, that it works like some other pump? I don't even know what she's talking about. And

Scott Benner 52:33
you're sitting there having a conversation with somebody and they don't know how you're on the pod five works?

Janet 52:38
Yes. Because then she says to me, I said, I listened to the juice box podcast, which is funny, because in my notes afterwards, she but she's been listening to something called Juicebox Podcast. And you could clearly tell she was annoyed with me. But I kept just saying to her like, but I need you to listen to me. Like, I think that you're not correct. She's like, I've been telling people for seven months or whatever, that you know that it does an automatic an automated mode, pick up your new Basal rates that you're putting in and I'm like, Well, I'm just telling you that that's not how I understand it. So then she agreed to go back and research with her Omni pod rep.

Scott Benner 53:17
Right? Find out that she was wrong. Right? Yeah. So hey, I'm having an idea, Janet, for your episode. When I come on and edit it later. I might start it like this. I might go Hello, friends, and welcome to blah, blah, blah, episode of The Juicebox Podcast. There we go. I might do that just for her. Okay, yeah.

Janet 53:36
So in my notes, you know, because you can always go and see your after summary notes or whatever. There was an email in there to me, she she emailed me and said, After further research, she believes that what I said was correct, but she's going to double make sure with somebody else. So

Scott Benner 53:51
she thought you were wrong. double checked. found out you were right. Still want to give up? Yeah, cuz she doesn't want the Juicebox Podcast to be something that she doesn't know about. And that it works better than Oh, yeah. So how long did she fight that one? So she was like, Hey, you're right. That's not how that works.

Janet 54:08
Yes, after like I said, 20 minutes later, it was like legit 20 minutes. And then I just said, Will you agree to like, in she's like, well, if you're, if you're right, you're telling me I think she said the Medtronic is that sound right? It works like the whatever I told her I don't know it's first pump I've ever been on I'm just telling you that I don't think changing my Basal rate is going to help me if I stay in the automatic mode

Scott Benner 54:32
on the pod five takes settings that you give it on day one, and it makes decisions with those settings. But if you go back and say I know I told you one unit of insulin is my Basal rate, but I really should have said 1.3 and you change it you will change that setting but it will only work in manual mode that way. Okay. It's that's what I thought Yeah, the best. The best way to train the Omnipod five is to start with good solid settings right that that are reflective of your insulin needs probably be a little closer to 5050 Basal to Bolus. And once you're on it, if you get high Bolus, like help it, like if you go to 200 and sit there, Bolus because then the algorithms like well, I thought this much, but obviously we needed this much and it'll start to adjust off of that.

Speaker 3 55:22
Yes. Okay. That's that's what I that's what you were doing.

Scott Benner 55:25
Yeah. Except your your medical professional didn't do you think someone from all the pods listening right now going? What more do you think we could do? And then just rubbing their head really hard? But yeah, I mean, I get it. Like, they're, I mean, they're at this point. Now, you need to know how to talk to people about how to use you know, loop and control IQ and Omnipod five, and Medtronic has an algorithm. And like, in the end, there's the way you would talk about diabetes somebody if they were just using a regular pumper and MDI and probably gets confusing after a while. Not everybody's like, as giddy as I am when, you know, talking about stuff like this.

Janet 56:02
I think it's I think it's, it was frustrating for me, but whatever.

Unknown Speaker 56:05
Yeah, no. Good. So,

Janet 56:09
okay, so I want to run quickly through my auto immunes as quickly as possible and my family so you can see. Wow, right. So, you know, sister, endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, mom. She has ITP. So the immune thrombocytopenia, things how you say it, and then she has fibroid, but she's not sure if it's how she motives or not. So I'm like, Okay.

Scott Benner 56:36
Well, your mom has a blood clotting disorder. Yes.

Janet 56:39
So she's low platelets. But then I when I was looking at that cold urticaria thing for me, because I knew it had a name. I just didn't know what it was. I I came across something called a cold ag gluten disease, which is like C ad. And I told my mom, I said, I think you need to give that because she has every single one of those symptoms. So I said, I think you need to give that to your blood person doctor and see if that's maybe because it's very, very rare to so and then everything's on Wi

Scott Benner 57:09
Fi is a problem with histamines. Excuse me.

Janet 57:13
I think so. Yeah. She has some really weird stuff going on. And so I told her, I think you should not ignore this and you should dig into it, mom, but you know, she's 76. So she's like,

Unknown Speaker 57:27
just today, it's almost over?

Janet 57:29
Yes, yes. She's like, I'm just counting the day like a Claritin,

Scott Benner 57:34
or is there a tech or something even might be valuable taken once a day just to see if she sees any difference? So she get like hives and swelling

Janet 57:42
as she does? She doesn't I mean, yeah, she doesn't like she said shingles like three times she has all these weird things. And so I just actually started her on the digestive enzymes that you had referred. And I've been taking them and it's made a huge difference. Do tell, please. Yeah, she has. She has like irritable bowel syndrome, and colitis, and all that good stuff. And so I told her, I'm like, I'm like, take these and see how you feel. And so she got them a couple of days ago. So I'm going to check in with her. And I started taking them probably about three weeks ago, and I noticed a huge difference. So like, everything's more regular now and like dairy doesn't affect me as much and kind of like her

Speaker 3 58:22
and talk. But stomach doesn't hurt. Yes,

Janet 58:25
my stomach doesn't hurt after eating. So that's a huge for me, like I've struggled with that my entire life.

Scott Benner 58:31
Yeah, all you needed was for my daughter to have a similar problem. And then you find the podcast, they were also

Janet 58:36
I know, right? So I'm going to order those. I ordered them on Amazon. And they came and I'm like, I'm gonna try so

Scott Benner 58:42
good for you. It only took me three years of banging my head on this desk that I'm sitting right next to right now to figure out what to do. That's all it's just conversations and doctor's appointments and standing back and going like this here. This could be this ruling out a bunch of stuff, and then going at it from like, a common sense perspective. And truth is without the podcast, your stomach still hurts and so does Ardennes. Because I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have had the time to think about it. I'm

Janet 59:11
very thankful. People like it. It won't hurt to try. So you should try them.

Scott Benner 59:17
You know, it's similar. Like when people have like, Well, my TSH is like three but my doctor won't give me thyroid medication. Like just try it. Because if your symptoms start going away, you know, great, and if not, doesn't hurt anything to try. Yeah, it's not like you're taking a medication that's going to you know, make your foot fall off. If it's the wrong medication. You try it and it's not what you need. It's not what you need. If it is what you need. Great. Yep. All right. So wait, keep going with the family stuff. And by the way, what else was I gonna say about your mom? I thought of something and it fell out of my head. Oh, are you sure she has colitis? Or is it possible? She's celiac.

Janet 59:57
I don't think she's celiac. I think she's been tested for that.

Scott Benner 1:00:00
So, okay, well, alright, so what else?

Janet 1:00:04
Okay, so at number one, you know she has psoriasis and number two vasculitis, rheumatory arthritis. And number three has lupus, Ms. Psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis. Her daughter has Potts. And then you know, my grandma had the middle, the middle ego. And then you know, it's question. They're like, well, you know, when she was really bad with her Alzheimer's, we were giving her insulin. And I said, So was she a type one? We don't know. Her blood sugar's were like 400. And we would call and they would just tell us to inject her with some insulin. And to not worry too much because she was dying anyway. So they're like, oh, my gosh. So they can't tell me if she was type one or two. So which is which is not helpful for me? Of course, right?

Unknown Speaker 1:00:54
Yeah. Frustrating that she?

Janet 1:00:56
Yeah. So then she had psoriasis. And then my son so far, he just has a little bit eczema. So you know, like atopic dermatitis. So, so far, I'm hoping he gets more of his dad's genes. So that's autoimmune.

Scott Benner 1:01:09
Yeah. Do you have him tested for like, at as well visits? Do they look at his thyroid? Did they look at stuff like that?

Janet 1:01:16
You know, I try so hard with him. The good thing is he was he was an athlete in for college. So they did some testing. You know, he played water polo since he was nine and got a scholarship to go play and so that he the problem with him is you when you go to draw his blood, he like throws up and passes out. It's like, it's not okay, dramatic. Yeah. So trying to get him but every once in a while, I'll like, hold him down and like, test his blood just to see to make sure you know that he's in range. But he's getting married at the end of this year to a girl that's going to be a nurse. So I told her, I'm like, he's gonna become your problem.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:53
Yeah, exactly. Good luck. Yeah.

Janet 1:01:56
But he was dating a girl, like, pretty seriously for a while where the mom had same as me, and I'll type one, but later in life, and then I said to him, I'm like, oh, man, dude, like, I don't know. You know, supposed to be not hereditary, but you never know. Right? So,

Scott Benner 1:02:13
you know, I don't understand how people can do I just misunderstand the word hereditary. Because, like, I don't I don't understand how so many people can come out and talk about all of these connections have auto immune through their families then go but type ones not hereditary. No, but auto immune issues are. So yeah, yeah.

Janet 1:02:36
So and I'll tell you a quick story on that. So okay, so how, how did my type one diagnosis happen? It's kind of interesting. So you know, I'm going on through life, everything's fine, super thin as a kid, you know, and always had issues with food I never wanted to eat and like, because my stomach always hurt, basically. Right. So then I you know, get married, everything's fine. Have my son. I'm not no gestational diabetes, everything is fine. So then, in 2004, we decided, okay, you know, we need health insurance. I mean, life insurance, because now we have a kid. So I have the fasting blood, you know, it's fine at one. Perfect. So then, that was the end of 2014, January 2005. Again, I'm like, I'm gonna get in shape. I'm gonna drop this baby weight, right? I call it baby weight. But you know what my kids like, oh, six now. I'm like, I'm gonna drop it. So I start doing all this intense exercise. And I have like my first abnormal period ever in my life. So I'm like, Well, you know, my whole family's had all these fibroid tumors. All the women have already had hysterectomy is by this time, you know, so I'll go to the gynecologist and make sure nothing's going on. So you know, they do the ultrasound, and they do the endo vaginal ultrasound, and they're like, Oh, you're fine. As far as your gynecological stuff, but we observed a high hydro ureter on your right side. You don't really see an obstruction but you know, you're going to have to go to urologist because this can be really dangerous. And I'm like, okay, but I feel fine. No problem. So I go see the neurologist now. I mean, the urologist so I don't know if you've ever been to urologist but every time you go the first thing they do is make you pee in a cup right? And they test your urine and then you go back and everything's fine. I've no sugar in my urine. Everything's fine. So then the lady's like yeah, if you have a uterus heal this can be really dangerous because you know it backs up the urine into your kidney and then you could have kidney failure and kidney transplant so I'm like oh my god right. Chicken Little right for me the sky is

Scott Benner 1:04:48
falling like free you're not good with stuff like this to begin with. No,

Janet 1:04:52
no, no, I'm all in I'm researching it now. Right? Like, oh my god, what is this thing that like? They think I have right so me not being very well, at this point. I didn't question the doctors I think as much as as I do now. Definitely. So they ordered a you know, a CT. Okay, that seems pretty harmless. Right? Okay, non invasive. So with contrast and like okay, everything went well and they are Yeah, it just it shows something on the right little kidney stone and a little bit of my right kidneys a little enlarged and blah, blah, blah. So, so I go back and then she's like, Yeah, but we have to do further testing. I'm like, Okay, so now they do, like, another ultrasound and they're like, Okay, yeah, we still see something. No, no sugar in my urine still, but I'm gaining weight now. So then they do this test. Avoiding Sisto youth or gram. So you basically lay on a table, they put an IV in you, right? And then you're supposed to pee on the table. Like, they put towels into you and you're supposed to pee in front of all these people and like, I couldn't do it obviously because I'm like, I just can't do it. So then you they let me go to the bathroom and then they come back and they said, No, there's no evidence of reflux. So I'm like, Okay, so now I'm thinking okay, I'm done, right? Yeah. And still no sugar in the urine. So then she's like, well, you know what we do have to do you know, one more test because we have to make sure because this could be like, between meeting a kidney and kidney and I'm like, okay, so it was called a LASIK. augmentin, Reno gram. So I looked it all up and then I saw that, like, LASIK had like some sulfur in it, but a trace amount. And so they said, hey, you know, I'm really allergic to sulfa. So Oh, no, you'll be fine. And then I noticed like, the nurse was sick. She was like, Coffeen, and didn't think much of it. So they inject you with this LASIK, and you have an IV and you and you have a catheter, and you and they just basically watch you know, it all go down, and how it, it flows out. So yes, everything, it just shows my my right uterus a little bit smaller than my left. But I woke up the next morning with a fever, like, 103 chills, and I called the doctor and they, they prescribed like, macro datain. And then I had some allergic reaction to it. So again, you know, I call the doctor, I'm like, Uh, hey, I'm having an allergic reaction to this, and the nurses all like, oh, just keep taking the medicine. I'm like, oh, man, keep in taking the medicine. So I went into the doctor in like, two days later, they test my sugar. They tested my urine and they're like, oh, my gosh, you're a diabetic. So like, overnight, like, boom,

Scott Benner 1:07:28
figure that out? No problem. Right.

Janet 1:07:31
So then, but my fasting blood glucose is only like 154. Okay, so, okay. So then I'm thinking, you know, what, my kidneys are probably just like overtaxed. Right, right. Because, like, you've been doing all this stuff to me, and then I got sick. And then I had this medication that I was allergic to, and, you know, so I'm just thinking, Okay, it's, it's going to take time. So, it went on, you know, I went, I went and they're like, Okay, yeah, you're kind of your, your type two. Because, you know, you weigh like, 165 at this time. So you know, I'm five, four, lose some weight, because you're, you know, the Sabbath. So I'm like, okay, it just keeps it this goes on for years. And I'm talking about years. So type two, now I'm running. Okay, so I'm down to like, 130. And now my doctor is like, You look sick, you don't look healthy anymore. Like, you know, are you sure you're eating enough? Or not helpful? And then in my control issues in my anxiety, I'm like, feeling horrible about myself because I'm like, why can't I get better? What's going on? Why can I not get better? And then my numbers, she has me like taking Actos and by Janna in and I couldn't tolerate Metformin, it hurt my stomach too much. And I mean, she tried like every drug that was in her, you know, Januvia and everything that was in her little case up there. I think I tried. And so I, when was this it was about was in 2000? Oh, yeah, it was October 2010. I even wrote my notes here. I get I get mad at this point. Like, I'm, I'm pissed because my I'm down to like, 140. My agency is 7.9 at this point. And she says to me, I think you're just too stressed. You should probably quit your job. And I'm like, Yeah, because it wouldn't be stressful if I just sat home and did nothing. I own my own company and like, right, like

Scott Benner 1:09:30
the reaction to the test result was you should quit your job.

Janet 1:09:34
Yes, that's what she told me. She just I don't know what else to tell you. Because I think this is just your anxiety that's making my and I'm taking a ton of medication at this point

Scott Benner 1:09:43
where she thinks you have almost an eight a one C because of anxiety. Yes, yes. Do you do you live under the imaginary bridge that we talked about earlier? Like where are you finding these doctors that

Janet 1:09:54
well, and this was a very well known and liked endo in the area.

Scott Benner 1:10:00
All right. She didn't talk about this, like, maybe we should use more insulin.

Janet 1:10:03
Yeah. Yeah, here's the thing, because I think at that point, I was on l'avenir and something else but so I just I lose my I lose my mind at this point. Right. So I'm like, Yeah, so I tell my husband, I said, you know, I think I think I'm allergic to something or something's going on. There's, there's something else going on. Because look at how thin I am. And like, you see what I eat. Like, I was basically just eating like salad with like, a little bit of vinegar and oil on it. And, you know, that's it. And so I decided to go to like a naturopathic doctor in the area who is new to the area, I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna go see what he can do for me. So the first thing he says to me, he's like, Wait, you're a type two? And I said, Yeah, that's what they tell me. And he's like, Well, have you ever been tested for get 65? And I'm like, I don't even know what that is. So my answer is going to be no, I guess. So. He's like, let's do that first. So he tested me. And sure enough, I'm positive. So then he said to me at that point, he said, You need to find an endocrinologist that knows what they're doing. Because you need insulin, like you're never gonna get better on these medications that you're on, right. Yeah. So I came home. And I, I emailed two of the big major centers out here, which is UCLA, and then Loma Linda. So either direction of me, and the director of the diabetes Center, and UCLA call me like from his personal cell phone. He's like, hey, you know, I want your case, while you drive out here. It was like, it's an hour with no traffic. But in traffic, it could be two to three hours. So I'm like, Yeah, sure, no problem. So I go out there. And he explains to me, and I don't know if this is true or not, but I'm gonna tell you what he said to me.

Scott Benner 1:11:48
Go ahead. Okay.

Janet 1:11:50
So he said, what you have is with your Gad, 65 He goes, it's luck of the draw. Like it's not hereditary. You were born with Gad, 65. And he said, in some people will develop type one diabetes from that, and some people don't. He said, The reason that we know this is because there was a lady in he said, and the kids are about your age now. And I think I was about 14 at that time. Said, triplets, identical triplets. He said, so therefore, you know, they share the same DNA. And I'm like, okay, I get that part. He said, one comes out, full diabetic from the beginning, like, boom, the second one developed diabetes at 27. And then the other one was about 40. And still did not have diabetes, but they were all gad. 65 Positive. So I thought that was weird. I was first time someone ever, you know. Yeah. So you can you can be get 65 positive and never have any ailments apparently from it. But any kind of, he told me like any kind of trigger, like an illness, very stressful, dramatic situation, like, anything that like, brings your body down could set that into motion. And so he felt like, yes, the thing with my kidney, because they got kind of compromised, is how I ended up on the path that I'm on is crazy. So he immediately put me on insulin. And then I went on the Dexcom in 2013, because I was I was bad, too. I was the person that was running around, doing so many things. I you know, I never missed one of my son's games ever. Like, I've never missed anything in his life. That was something that was really important to me, the only child, I never wanted him to be the person that looked out into the audience and didn't have his mom or dad, they're watching him do whatever it was school, play whatever it was. So I was running around doing all that and taking horrible care. I mean, at one point, my agency was like, 11.1 Because I was just putting Janet last, you know, everybody else came in front of me. So he put me on. Like, I think I was on levemir Jardiance. And then, you know, my agency was slowly going down. He got me on Victoza and then the human log in then in 2017. He ended up retiring but in 2017 I ended up going on the Omni pod, which was like the best thing I could have done for my lifestyle. So

Scott Benner 1:14:30
do you think it was like a lot of presentation?

Janet 1:14:34
Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:14:37
Well, I mean, that was confusing for doctors. Like there's just no doubt but seeing the the antibody testing should let them know this is type one, just a slow progression.

Janet 1:14:49
Yeah, that she didn't even so when I went back to that I ended up sending that a letter to the first endocrinologist saying hey, you know, this neuropathic doctor he ran this test and and I even tried to work with her, you know? And then she's like, well, you know, some people believe in that some people don't. You have type two diabetes, and you just you know, and she just would not budge. So that's when I was like, Okay,

I'm done with you.

Scott Benner 1:15:10
Yeah, you have a bad string of luck with physicians, that's for sure. Can I ask you a question? Is that you?

Janet 1:15:17
I always probably is,

Scott Benner 1:15:18
I mean, do you have like, I don't mean this poorly, because, but do like, do you start off on the wrong foot? Do you think you put people on the defensive? And then they kind of give you or do you go in there and let them talk? And like, what's your vibe when you see a new doctor?

Janet 1:15:36
Yes, so I definitely do better with men. Male physicians know why. I think sometimes women see me as like a threat kind of overbearing, because I am intelligent. And I'm not afraid to like, ask questions. So like, I was brought up in a home where you just authority was always like, Oh, yes, yes, yes. You just take everything that the person says. And then probably, you know, in my, I don't know, mid 30s, I started to question like, Okay, I know, you're a doctor, and you're supposed to be like, smart and all this stuff, but you don't know everything, you know, and, and I definitely am a person that does research. So yeah, I could see where, like, I put people off, because I know my parents get uncomfortable when I go to the doctor with them. And then I speak up and say something on their behalf. And they're like, and then the doctor will be like, No, that's a good question. Yeah, there's,

Scott Benner 1:16:34
there's a difference between asking good questions, and giving people the feeling like you're not listening. Yeah. Because you feel like, you know, and it's just, I mean, it's a tough thing. I do my best to I sit back and listen. And even when I have thoughts are just like, Well, I'm gonna let this person finish talking. Because otherwise, I mean, you run the risk of a couple of things, you run the risk of giving them the impression, you're not really there for their help. And then they're like, Well, if you're not here to listen to what I have to say them, what's the point of this? And I think you can also kind of turn people off sometimes if you have answers, and they're just like, wow, like, that person came to me, but they knew already, like, you know, juicy box. And so, and then that rubs people that can rub some people, don't you also meet doctors who are like, Oh, that's brilliant. I'm glad you brought that up. But, you know, it's a lot of personality stuff that, that I don't think we consider, like when we're going to doctors, that you're still having a human interaction with somebody. And yeah,

Janet 1:17:39
and I think I've always been, like, socially awkward anyways. So yeah, I noticed, like, throughout my lifetime, like I told you before I get along better with men and even boys when I was younger than I do with women, and especially women that have like, low self esteem, like they just automatically hate me. And I don't know if it's just the way I carry myself

Scott Benner 1:18:05
or janitor, this women have anything in common with your mom.

Janet 1:18:10
Just one of my aunts?

Unknown Speaker 1:18:11
Is that what you mean? No. I

Scott Benner 1:18:13
mean, in general, like do the women that you don't do well with? Are they reminiscent of your mom's personality?

Janet 1:18:19
No, not at all. My mom's a very loving, caring, non judgmental individual. Okay. So I think, you know, I always tell people that I hang out with like, or if I have to work with them, especially, you know, like, you need to be like blunt with me. Because like, if you don't say, hey, you know what, I hate you. And I think you're being the, you know, that which right now, right? I don't, I don't pick up on those social cues. I think everything's just fine. Because I don't read into every situation. And I think that's why I get along with men better because men are much more. Most men are much better communicators when it comes to like, I need this done. And so then

Scott Benner 1:19:04
you don't like picking through people's feelings to figure out what they want. You just want somebody Exactly.

Janet 1:19:09
Yeah. All right, but I'm always respectful. I always I, you know, I ran my business, you know, respect professionalism, you know, consistency, and fairness. But I don't have the time to coddle people. And I think that's where I think that's where I have my issues where I always say, Please, and thank you. It's not that I'm not It's not that I'm rude. It's just a self assurance that, that some people can't, you know, I think, you know, I was a natural born leader. So people just naturally followed me no matter what, and even if I didn't want them to, and I don't, I don't know, like what's happened, but I did recognize that around 2021 You know, I had an aunt say, like, you know, you're so intimidating. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I just think I'm the nicest person ever,

Unknown Speaker 1:19:56
and you're intimidating. Yes,

Janet 1:20:01
they people see me I hear that a lot people see me as intimidating.

Unknown Speaker 1:20:05
Are you? Are you brash?

Unknown Speaker 1:20:08
I think I'm direct. Why? Why? Why won't

Scott Benner 1:20:12
you play the human game? What is it you're trying to avoid?

Janet 1:20:17
You know, it's almost like I don't think about it. Like, like, I don't I don't I have a very, I, I rarely cry. I rarely get super excited. I'm just very like, cool. Like, and my husband always says, like, you're I love you because like, it sounds weird. But he's like, you're like a man's mentality in a woman's body? Because I just, I don't know, I don't, I don't like to play those games, if you got something to say, just say it. But the problem is, is that's how I am too. And that doesn't always sit

Speaker 3 1:20:50
well. With Others, like I understand. I do. Does that make sense? It does. Yeah. Are there? I'm sorry. Good. No. So when I

Janet 1:21:00
have a woman physician, it seems to usually go that way.

Scott Benner 1:21:06
Is there anything we haven't talked about that you wanted to cover?

Janet 1:21:10
I just think that just because, you know, I think I mentioned it before. If when you're later in life, and you and you're experiencing, you know, diabetes situation, and you're not in DKA, because that's the other thing, if you're in DKA, there's, they tend to like, you know, follow the dots. But if you're not, don't just automatically let them tell you, Oh, you're overweight and your type do and go down that road, you know, force them to at least do the peptides and all the tests that needs to be done to make sure that that they are because all that all that medicine that I took was for naught. And it was a lot of money, and a lot of time and probably did more damage to me, you know, no, not as much honeymoon period as I should have gotten maybe. So just stand up for yourself and make sure you educate yourself.

Scott Benner 1:21:56
Yeah. But do it in a way where you don't put people off?

Janet 1:22:00
Yeah, don't do it Janet's way. Try to find that nice, warm, fuzzy kind of way.

Unknown Speaker 1:22:07
You've been that way with

Scott Benner 1:22:08
me. Like, but I'm a guy and I'm direct. So you're you're okay with me. Yeah. Interesting. See how that works?

Unknown Speaker 1:22:16
I mean, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:22:18
I was just wondering, I like you to say it out loud, so that people can hear it. Yeah. That's unfortunate. How much of that part of your personality is while you're not in Mexico?

Janet 1:22:31
I would say a lot. I would say 95%.

Scott Benner 1:22:35
Janet, who is your own worst enemy?

Speaker 3 1:22:38
I think myself might be you. Yeah, it could be. So what I'm burning. You're learning. I am learning

Scott Benner 1:22:45
piano. We're running out of time here. We gotta get moving. I know. But so tell me something. What's your perfect scenario? Like for your living situation? Start there, like, where do you wish you are? Who do you wish was with you?

Janet 1:23:03
You know, I feel like I'm where I want to be at this point in time. If if my son were to move out of state, I would probably follow him. I don't want to live with him. But I'd like to live near him and his wife and you know, maybe potential future kids. I enjoy the relationship I have with my husband, where he comes and goes right now, because I think it gives me time to you know, take care of me more than worrying about other people. I want to I want to take care of Janet, now. So that I can be here in the future.

Unknown Speaker 1:23:32
Okay.

Scott Benner 1:23:34
All right. So so you like where you are, but you want to live near your son? Yeah. And your husband and your relationship? You like it the way it is? And the distance doesn't? You can afford to travel I guess is what I'm saying. Right? Somebody wants to go one way or the other. It's not a big burden for anybody.

Unknown Speaker 1:23:54
Correct? Yeah.

Janet 1:23:55
Yeah. Then we're both retired. And we're good.

Unknown Speaker 1:23:58
Yeah. As far as that. It's all very interesting.

Scott Benner 1:24:01
I appreciate you coming on and sharing all this with me. I really do.

Janet 1:24:04
Yeah. And then you know, one last thing I just want to say too, is you know, those people that are getting 65 positive and our experience like this just weird pain out of nowhere and this constant. You know, where you have these spasms and stuff, you know, go forward and try to find the answer because it could be stiff person, it could not be stiff person. It's very rare. But at least you know, don't give up like I did for so many years and just in just suffer.

Speaker 3 1:24:32
Yeah. So which doctor do you see for that again?

Janet 1:24:36
I see a doctor down in Kaiser and Nura a neuro muscular specialist.

Scott Benner 1:24:41
And would that doctor give you a medical marijuana card?

Janet 1:24:46
Oh yeah, cuz I just asked. I just asked him if it was possible for him to give me a letter to change. I have to bathtub, shower tub situations in the house that I'm in and I've kind of like tripped and fallen you know, like last With all this coldness, and so he gave me a letter to like, medically needed, you know, walk in shower. So I'm sure he would give me because I think he knows to like, I mean, I'm really weird about the valium situation so that I'm only going to do something that I think that I potentially need.

Scott Benner 1:25:19
Janet. Looks like you want the Department of Cannabis Control California cannabis.ca.gov. And then eligible medical conditions. One of them is persistent medical spasms. For example, spasms caused by Ms. I think what you have falls right into there. You fill out the application, gather your supporting documents, make an appointment with your county health department, go to your appointment. Wait for 35 days for your approval. Yep, that's it.

Janet 1:25:48
Yeah. Cuz it's definitely on the federal list of compassionate disability. So you can name this part of the podcast, you can potentially future pothead. Janet future.

Scott Benner 1:26:01
See, I think that's it though, is like that idea. Because of the time you were born in it, you'll become like, whatever a pothead is like somebody who's just constantly burned out and high and upset when I'm that's not what I'm talking about. I think you would, you would use this like you would, I don't know, sip on a sports drink to keep your blood sugar up while you were running. You know, like that kind of thing. Like just maintenance. Like a like a like a vitamin. Almost. If this happens, we'll send me a note, right?

Janet 1:26:30
Yeah, wait, I'll say I'm going to send you a note to and, and share with you my maiden name and you'll get a kick out.

Scott Benner 1:26:38
We can tell me after we shot the recording, but I want to You can't just ask her son for weed. You don't think that will just work? Oh, god. No,

Janet 1:26:45
my son is more square than me. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 1:26:49
yeah, I see. I see. I see. I see.

Scott Benner 1:26:51
The husband's got to have weed on the beach. No.

Janet 1:26:54
Well, yeah, I mean, it's plentiful down there. You can walk, I could probably walk through the neighborhood and get a high contact high.

Scott Benner 1:27:00
Well, there you go. Here's the least technical thing I'll ever say to a person. I think you got to chill out a little bit. I know right? Seems to be that that's my crochet group. You're not the only person I've talked to who decided to crochet for relaxation, but then couldn't follow the rules and meet all the knots tight. Like you're literally turning the crochet into yourself. You're like tighter tighter. It was bad. It was I don't want liquid to pass through this afghan.

Janet 1:27:36
It just looked horrendous. They were just like, okay, yeah, this is

Scott Benner 1:27:39
probably folded up on itself. It was so tight. Like God. All right. Well, John, I enjoyed talking to you. I appreciate this very much. Hold on a second for me. Okay. Okay. Okay.

A huge thanks to Janet for coming on the show today and sharing her story. And I'd like to thank Omni pod and Dexcom First Omni pod Omni pod.com/juicebox Go there, see if you can get a free trial. Learn more about dash or five. You know, get going with the best, the brightest, the greatest, the Omni pod after that dexcom.com/juicebox Thank you so much to Dexcom for being longtime sponsors of the Juicebox Podcast learn more and get started today at dexcom.com/juicebox. There are links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com to Dexcom and Omnipod and all the sponsors

if you have type two or prediabetes that type two diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox Podcast is exactly what you're looking for. Do you have a friend or a family member who is struggling to understand their type two and how to manage it? This series is for them. seven episodes to get you on track and up to speed. Episode 860 series intro 864 guilt and shame. Episode 869 medical team 874 fuelling plan, Episode 880 diabetes technology episode 85 GLP ones metformin and insulin, and an episode 889 We talk about movement. This episode is with me and Jenny Smith. Of course you know Jenny is a Certified diabetes Care and Education Specialist. She's a registered and licensed dietitian and Jenny has had type one diabetes for over 30 years. Too many people don't understand their type two diabetes, and this series aims to fix that. Share it with a friend or get started today.

#1057 Weight Loss Diary: Seven

Scott is taking Wegovy for weight loss. This is diary number seven.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 1057 of the Juicebox Podcast

Welcome back, everybody. This is my seventh week Ovie diary. I appreciate you listening to them. I'm losing weight, sometimes quicker, sometimes slower, always with new things being revealed to me. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're looking to start using ag one, you can drink ag one.com/juicebox That's my link. Use that link. Get a free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first order. If you want to save 40% off of comfortable things like joggers and clothes and pajamas and towels and sheets, you can do that at cozy earth.com When you use the offer code juicebox at checkout, you will save 40% off of your entire order. And don't forget the diabetes Pro Tip series that begins at episode 1000 and goes to Episode 1026. All right, let's find out how my last I don't know how many like six or seven weeks of we go we have gone have we gone? I should say

Have we gone he is the funniest thing I've said in like a week. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for us Metis the place where Arden gets her supplies from you know how people have places where they get their diabetes supplies from like insulin test strips meters, or what else pumps CGM? Yeah, like distributors who do that stuff. Anyway, US met.com/juice box that's where we get our supplies you could to today's podcast is also sponsored by touched by type one. Now touched by type one's big dancing for diabetes event is coming up really, really soon. I think it's on November 11, you have to go check their website touched by type one.org There's still time to get tickets to that live event in Orlando, Florida, or just check out the website and see all the great things they're doing for people living with diabetes. Well, I'm back. And I'm not thrilled, but I'm not upset. I guess that's something. I'm opening up my app here so I can tell you a little bit about this week's journey. My glasses on and go to trends on my app. Going back seven days today's the 26th makes something physical 21st

Is that right? That's right, isn't it? 22nd Seriously, I'll just pull up a calendar real quick. The 19th was a week ago. Oh, interesting. All right. So on the 19th I was 190 7.4 came in here told you all about it. It was fresh off of a weekend where I was away. And now I've been back for a week had a little head cold. And the tingly arm thing by the way gets very slowly better. I found the source of the pain inside of my elbow is very sore still, like amazing. I guess I must have just slept right on it on the plane. And anyway, the the feelings coming back very slowly. It's a little scary but feels like it's going in the right direction. So I'm not too worried. Anyway, on that Tuesday, the 19th I was 197.4 pounds. I had lost some weight over the couple of days while I was traveling, etc. But man I woke up the next day 199 I was like oh, but then it came back when 97.8 and that held for a couple of days. 21st The 22nd Now 23rd and 24th I didn't weigh myself I was like skinny now what do I prepare myself for? I should have done that. But I'm also not skinny. But it was today is Tuesday. And on Sunday my wife left for a business trip and on the way home from dropping her at the airport. I stopped and picked up you know about a guy by myself. I picked up enough food to get me through four days till my wife got back I bought a turkey breast pack of chicken wings. I ate shrimp that I'm going to saute and a piece of tuna. It's like that'll get me through for days. Anyway, I let off on Sunday with the chicken wings, which were dry rubbed kind of heavily salted pretty much. And man I woke up the next day, a pound heavier almost went from 197 Eight to 198 Six just for the chicken wings. It no sauce. Keep in mind, there's a little hot sauce on it, but no sugar and nothing like that. It was the salt. I got on the scale the next day. It's like, ah, the salt the chicken legs. But then yesterday when I got up, and I had to have lunch, I just ate the rest of my chicken wings because they were yummy. And I'll be damn I am 190 9.8 this morning. Not something that really to me is crazy. That's over two pounds. Just eating over salted food that is now has me retaining water. I'll tell you it this whole thing teaches me a ton every day about paying attention to what's going into your body and, and whatnot. Anyway, that's pretty much the story. I'm going to we go over it up here and be on our way things are running well as far as the the elimination systems going. I got all that moving nicely. And nothing poor to report here. So I'm just going to inject and I'll see you next week

here looks good.

I'll tell you one thing, putting the chicken wings on the last two days of the week, the week over the week. That was a bigger mistake, because the medicine wanes as like the week goes on that I would I again I'm not a doctor and I haven't researched this but that just seems like it's what's happened. So chicken wings salty during the weighing of the medication, probably not a great idea. We'll see I fully expect to wake up two days from now and weigh two pounds less again. So we'll see what happens. And then I'll come back in seven days and let you know us med.com/juicebox or call 888721151 for us med is the place where Arden gets her diabetes supplies from and you could too we get Omni pod and Dexcom from us med but there's so much more. US med has actually all the latest CGM is Dexcom G seven and libre three you can also get the libre two or the G six. You can get Omni pod dash Omni pod five. That tandem pump. They got everything over there. US med is the number one distributor for FreeStyle Libre systems nationwide. You always listen to this. This is incredible. You always get 90 days worth of supplies when you order from us Med and it comes with fast and free shipping fast and free shipping over 1 million diabetes customers since 1996. That's what US med is up to. What are you doing? Are you are you doing it right now? Are you calling 888-721-1514? Going to the website us? med.com/juicebox do it get your free benefits check and get started today. They probably take your insurance because us med accepts Medicare nationwide and over 800 private insurers. Ah I know this is an ad, right? I know this is an ad and you're like Scott's gonna tell me a story and it's gonna sound great. And I'm gonna think about going to us Matt and but he's probably just trying to trick me and listen to me. Email arrives. Do you want to reorder your supplies? Click? Yes. Then they're just here. They're downstairs right now. Right inside the front door. What what came last? Oh. On the pods? Do you want to reorder your Omni pods? Yes, I do. Done That was it. And then I get these beautiful updates like about shipping your orders on its way you know, it's out on the truck like this whole thing. Front door here it is could not be simpler. Us med.com/juice box are amazing supporters of the podcast and they do a great job delivering your supplies. Give them a try. You don't like the internet, use the phone 888-721-1514. Okay, that's it back to the weego V diary. No more ads. Just you know, support the podcast whenever you can. There's links in the show notes and links at juicebox podcast.com. To all of the sponsors. Well, I'm back it's October 3. I didn't exactly go the way I was hoping but it didn't go poorly either. And I have a little more insight than I had I'm now thinking that the weight loss I had was from I took a steroid pack, and I really think it dehydrated me. So this isn't how everyone does steroids, but not steroids. But this isn't how a steroid pack impacts everyone. But it impacts me that way. When I start taking a an oral steroid medication, I've done it a few times my life, I pee like crazy for the first 24 hours. I actually think I peed out two pounds, because I'm back now this morning, I was 190 9.4, which is still down from 190 9.8 last week. But I actually think that's what it was, I think it was just water weight, just crazy enough. I think I got rid of it with the steroid pack, and it came back with the salt. And I think I confuse those two things a little bit when I was talking last time. So anyway, um, 190 9.4 Today, I feel terrific. I got to shoot my week over there's not a lot to report this time. I didn't eat very much this week. I think that's a problem. So I'm going to thoughtfully eat some more food this week. I don't want to say get back on track, because I just don't see it that way. I think it's just an up and down thing. And I'm losing weight as I go, I can tell you this, I just saw a friend for lunch, a person I have not seen in a very long time. And we opened the door. And he said, Oh my God, you look like your little brother, which was very cool. Then we spent a little time talking about this. He's actually a physician and he was really thrilled for me. Anyway, we go V 2.4 milligrams, said milliliters the other day to somebody and I was like, I don't think that's right. milligrams. Let's put it in, shall we? I'm gonna go to the other side of my stomach this time. My stomach, which by the way is a little weird, the way it's getting smaller. I'm deciding now I'm going to tell you something that I think is potentially embarrassing. Give me a second to shoot this and then I'll make my decision and then we'll be done. Here looks good. About here

am I going to tell you something embarrassing? Oh, hell, I guess so. So my stomach was round enough before that, if I looked down, I saw my belly button. And my belly button was big. I used to get made fun of actually by my family. And now when I looked down my belly button is not as obvious because it's, I guess it's lower. Not up at like, I don't know how to put it exactly. Anyway, when I look down, I don't immediately see my belly button when I'm standing. And it's much smaller. Like if if I was hiding things in my I was not hiding things in my belly button. But if I used to hide things, my belly button, I cannot hide them in there any longer. So there's an interesting little factoid for you and I'll see you next week. Hey, hey, hey, what do you say October 10. And I'm here today to share big news with you about my weight loss journey. Allah I ran out of rhymes there at the end. Don't worry. None of that was planned. So I'm surprised and went that long. October 10. A week ago was October 3. Now, let's talk some numbers. And then deets as details about food ready. I'm opening up my way machine app. That's the app that pairs to my scale. And the weighing machine tells me that when I was here with you last week, on October 3, I weighed 199.4 pounds. You may remember from moments ago as you were listening. Let me take a drink today and this deserves a drumroll on the nose 196 I lost 3.4 pounds since October 3. How do I do it? Well, I take we go V 2.4 milligrams, injected once weekly, which I'm going to do right now and then tell you about what I've been eating and a supplement change. Finding some fat on my belly to put the govia in. There is much less of that. I've taken the cap off and I will now stick the needle party up to my Bing Bing and here we go.

Okie dokie Lee. Here's how my week went. On Tuesday, I injected right on Wednesday. I gained weight that was upsetting. I woke up one day Oh no. Excuse me. I lied. I lost a little I went to 198, eight, on the fifth. I was two days after my weigh in. Next day, I'm moving 10 Eight. See, I'm not weighing myself as much anymore now 10 Eight, I weigh myself again 10 eights yesterday, I was 197. So I didn't weigh myself that week. Now you might ask why. I was frustrated. I really was. I was frustrated. And my son came home for a short visit. And a I don't know how much of this I should say, but I'll just say this like this. My wife's boss came in from out of the country. And she stayed with us for a few days. So we were crazy here, Kelly and I were like, you know how it is it cleaning in corners that you're like, oh, I don't know if that corner is clean. And we got to put this away and oh my god, is this been sitting here for three months? How can we never got rid of this? This we're making our house look like we're human. And we're doing that for like days. We're working all day. And then in the afternoons, we're wandering around and cleaning stuff up. I wasn't weighing myself. I was kind of, again, irritated by my weight last time. But on, let me get the date right here. Looking at my calendar, sorry. So I weighed myself, I had lunch with a friend that day, it was the first time I was able to really talk about, you know, we go be with somebody who I've never talked about it with before. Now, the next day on the fourth, I do an interview with this 14 year old girl who has diabetes. She has been on the show before, I'll get the episode number and tell you here I think I think her episodes called bugs in your belly or something like that. Or she came on last year or wishes her name Orisha. And she's telling me about how she eats and how clean sheets and all this stuff she does. You know, does a green drink every morning and healthiest little 14 year old kid you've ever seen in your life, right? Anyway asked her to come back on I just so happened to record with her last week on the fourth. Today again being the tab. So six days ago. And while we're talking she's telling me about this probiotic she takes and you should try it Scott I ordered like while we were talking I was like alright, you know, if you're not going to take medical advice from a 14 year old kid, where can you get medical advice from right? So I would her her stuff. It comes the next day because Amazon and I start taking you out right away. The fifth, the sixth, seventh, the eighth and ninth, the 10th. That's how long I've been taking this thing. I'm not ready to tell you about it yet because it hasn't been that much time. But I can tell you what the like, you know people talk about, I started taking a probiotic and the bloating left my belly. Well, when you're fat, you don't know if your belly is bloated or not. How could you even tell? Right? So but I'm watching that happen now like this stuff. Really lovely. I'm gonna have a good report back about it. I think in a month or so. Not the point. Elimination picks up, things are going on. I had nice process going through me again. But but but but my son comes in Saturday morning. This is just two three days ago on the seventh. He's here now he's got friends over. We're barbecuing for them. There's ribs. You know, I think all the salt like you know what happened to me when I was eating the salty wings last time. Plus, my wife's boss comes in same day, like I'm telling you I got up early Saturday morning, pick my son up from an airport, drove him home, got back in my car, drove to a different airport picked up another person and international flyer. And we get back and settle in. She's hungry. So we go out. And now we're at this restaurant. And my goodness, I have linguini it has shrimp in it, it has mussels in it. There's bread on the table, I'm eating the bread, because the farther away you are from your ego, the injection kind of the more you can eat a little bit. So I'm eating like pretty regularly. And all I could think is I am going to gain weight. I mean just everything about my life in the past says this is going to happen. I did my digestive enzyme with the food, which was nice. I had a very nice experience eating the pasta, and the bread and everything all went really well. Elimination was still fine. But now we're leaving that restaurant. Oh, is that a cupcake store? Now we're a dozen cupcakes in my house because my my son's got friends over the bosses there. Does I mean chocolate and candy on them and they're, I mean just nothing healthy about them. Nowhere. If I would have pulled the wrapper off the cupcake and ate the wrapper. That would have been the best thing I could have done decision wise. But I have a cupcake that night like at nine o'clock at night. Like a causing a hazard you know hazard. You don't know yet. But anyway, eat the cupcake. I wake up the next morning. Hello. I lost weight. I was like wait a minute made the linguini I ate the bread. I had a cupcake. I lost weight doesn't make Get a sense, right on whatever that was on the eighth when I weighed myself 197 pounds I was down, you know, a pound eight since the last time I checked on the fifth. Well, then I wake up on the ninth. Now I'm reinvigorated to, you know, weigh myself again. But now there's been ribs. And what else ribs a whole bunch of stuff, but I wake up the next day 190 6.2 That's yesterday. I was like, my goodness. today. I'm 196 I wake up, but what I ate yesterday, I had a deli sandwich. If I would have thrown it at you. I could have given you a concussion. It was. I got up in the morning I had two eggs. Right. Two eggs. I think I folded a little bit of Parmesan cheese and the tiniest little bit. Little shaved right. And then the sandwich. It's I mean, I'm looking at my hands. No, you can't see that. It's great for podcasts. It's a softball, like a child sized softball. So the bigger ones, you know, they make them big so they can't beat each other with them. Like a big softball, plus maybe another inch. In this kaiser roll. I put roast beef and turkey Provolone on it had some mustard, a couple of other dishes and dashes like you know, salt, pepper, oregano, that kind of stuff. Right? I eat half of her lunch on with a handful of chips. Who am I potato chips. Get out of here. I'm eating like a like a regular person. That night, which is last night ate the other half of the sandwich. And I'm like, Let's have another cupcake. I have another cupcake along with my sandwich with chips. I'm eating until like eight o'clock at night watching a sporting event on the television. And I think I had chocolate chip cookies too. And I woke up later this morning. God bless with govi All right, I don't I'm not a god person but I think if there's a God he's pretty focused right now on will go V and and other weight loss medications. And and who else my blessing while I'm doing this would go v and this probiotic which I'm not 100% ready to tell you about yet. But my goodness gracious. Scotty on to something now. If I come to you 193 Next week, I'll be singing when the microphone comes on. Hey, everybody. Hello. It is the evening on October 17. I'm telling you what the evening because I always record these first thing in the morning. I get up on Tuesday. I weigh myself take a shower. Come in here record my COVID diary today. I like I didn't forget, I weighed myself. I put the wig over you right here on my desk. Something happened and I never got back to it. So it's like 12 hours later. I've never taken it to sleep before. Anyway, I'm gonna take it tell you something real quick. But yeah, to hear. Where am I gonna put this? Up the side

there feels right.

Okay, two things. First thing is I met somebody at a store today, today yesterday. And they were like, I forget how it came up. But I, they were like you lost weight? And I said yes. And I told them how much. And they asked questions about it. It was interesting to watch somebody's face to face, listen to the conversation. And I thought oh, I hope people are, you know, enjoying the diaries like that. And maybe post online. So I put a post up on the Facebook group. I'm sorry, I'm so loud. Like, I don't know how to do this because it's evening. I apologize. I put a post up on the Facebook group, which got a ton of response and so many people who jumped in and were either thank you for doing this because I really have been considering doing this and it's nice to hear the diaries, a lot of people telling me how much you guys enjoyed these episodes. And I have to be honest, I wasn't certain I just you know, I put them up and I hope you liked them. But I got a lot of terrific feedback. I also met a lot of people online who are also using ozempic We go V Manjaro or something like that. A lot of great stories out there. I think I'm going to do a couple of them. So you know if you have type one and you're using one of these GRPs get a hold of me if you want to be on the podcast, I think it would be really cool. Anyway that post was terrific. I love meeting everybody and seeing the kind of like community and and friendship I didn't realize there would be but I guess in a Facebook group that large. We could probably post about anything and find people who are who are affected by what you're talking about or or have thoughts about it. Anyway, let me get out my app. It is October 17. I guess that means that the last time I did this was on this Seven. Yes. I mean that just know the 10th dusk got where to go on the 10th. So today, why don't you go back to the 10th 1010? Where the hell is that? You would think it's after the knife. It is. Okay, so last week when I reported to you, I was 196 pounds. And today, after a week of how do I say this, my wife went to a farmers market and brought fudge back. We found something and by we, I mean me, found something that makes it through the thing that kills the sweet taste on the weego V. And that thing was fudge. I ate too much fudge this week. How much? I don't want to say I'd be embarrassed but if it wasn't a half a pound, I'd be surprised. So I had a little pieces of fudge throughout the day for a week. You know, this week I also ate shrimp. I had some pasta, chicken wings. Yes, smoked chicken wings. A couple of things like that one. And there's like a bunch of noisy stuff here. I gotta get rid of I really don't seem to know how to make a podcast if it's not in the daytime. Pretty good. Eggs wraps. I had a lot of steak with my eggs. These couple of mornings ate a lot of yogurt this week at one. It took my vitamins. And I started a new probiotic, which again, I'm not ready to talk about yet because I've only been on it for a couple of weeks. Anyway, I weighed myself this morning, and I weigh 196 pounds. I didn't gain any weight this week. I didn't gain any weight. Didn't lose any weight. I'm pretty good with that. I have to be honest with you. I know how I ate this week. And the idea that my my weight stay where it is absolutely fantastic. I had a waffle at a restaurant this week. I still just weigh 190 in that amazing. Like, don't get me wrong, I want to lose more weight and I need to lose more through my midsection. Mon mostly. Yeah, not my legs, my legs are done. My like I said tighten my thighs. My legs are done. My arms are fine. The top of my back is fine. Maybe my lower back and my love handles still there's weight there. I'm guessing it's around 15 pounds around my midsection still not the point. The point is, I had fudge, I didn't gain weight. To me. That's the point. That's all I got for you this week, other than to say, there are a lot of you out there. I didn't realize it's very cool that you're enjoying this, please keep coming with the feedback. And like I said, if you want to be on the podcast and talk about using the GLP to lose weight, or you know for your diabetes or whatever, let me know just email me right through the website. juicebox podcast.com. I'll see you next week, which will be I can do, I can do the math. Actually, next week will be the 24th. And then that following weekend, I'll be an odd, Austin. I'm doing a big talk with Jenny and Austin. So yeah, that'll be interesting. 24th And then on Halloween, you'll see me again after my Austin trip. I'm interested to see interest, see how much I can lose this week. And if I can keep it off or add to it while I'm away for because I'm gonna be away for like four days as a flight and air and a couple of other things. Alright, cool. I'll talk to you soon. Well, this is been a hell of a week. Tuesday, October 24. may tell you what happened this week. So Arden's away at college, and she wasn't feeling well. And I been talking to her. We've all been talking to her. I'm sorry, I'm getting my weight at the same time here. But it was kind of getting worse as time was going on. I don't have my glasses, so I'm gonna hold this phone pretty far away from my face. But Thursday, she contacted me and said, What are the chances I have appendicitis. And we looked at her symptoms, and they were very close to appendicitis. And so I sent her to the emergency room, which is a story unto itself that I'll probably tell on the podcast at some point, maybe just not here. She does not have appendicitis. We hope because I guess she would have burst by now she did. But the hospital was not great. A lot of confusion a long time being there ignored her because she was young, you know that kind of stuff. Anyway, she comes home with no answers that night. spent the next day trying to recuperate from, you know, being smacked in the face with morphine that they gave her when she got to the hospital and didn't really get any better throughout the day but in the late evening it got worse and bad enough that it One or two o'clock in the morning on Saturday night, no Friday night, Saturday morning 1am or so. She's back on the phone with me. And now she's got pain in different places and I'm sending her back to the emergency room. And then I get on a plane, like overnight and fly to her. She's, I mean, she's okay. We don't have an answer to her problem yet, but she's not in an emergent situation. This is neither here nor there. This is for me to tell you that. I woke up on Friday morning when I expected to at 8am I live my life. And at midnight when I thought I was going to sleep Friday night. Instead, I kept going. So I got Ardan off to the hospital. I bought a plane ticket, I drove to the airport. I slept in the airport for maybe two hours I got on the plane, I slept on the plane. I landed went right to the hospital, spent a number of hours in the hospital with her got her home. Took her with me to a hotel checked in by the hall. That's not true. We had to go do some other stuff, get her stuff together. By like I'd say two or three in the afternoon. We were both like passing out like we just actually at one point pulled the car over and just like fell asleep together for like an hour. And then I got her back to the hotel. And you know we had all these big plans about what we're going to do but instead she fell asleep at eight o'clock and slept throughout the night. I'm going to tell you that from midnight Saturday morning till Sunday morning. I ate a handful of candy which I grabbed because it had sugar in it. I thought I was gonna pass out so I was not eating. I'm telling you all this because I was also not hungry. We go V is insane. Never hungry once through that whole thing got up Sunday morning. Let her sleep in. Around noon got lunch. I had a turkey sandwich and some crackers Parmesan crackers. I don't think much else a yogurt. And then I don't think I eat the rest of the day. And wait, that's not true. I had some gummy bears in our room. I ate some gummy bears that night. Still not hungry. up Sunday morning. That was Sunday. I woke up Monday morning still in at were artists because I was trying to stay with her while she recuperated and I had a half of a waffle because I got to Arden's dorm room and they had waffles. And then I ate a chocolate chip cookie like seven hours later. And then I had some of the crackers at the end of the night. That was that was it. But I didn't eat for days basically. And I still got home today, Tuesday in time to do my week. govi injection. Let's do that now.

And I was woozy. I knew I needed food, but I wasn't hungry. Anyway, I had a few ounces of steak with a couple of eggs in a wrap. And now I'm here recording this for you. So anyway, I weighed myself today. But I weighed myself after a plane flight and a full day and I've been drinking liquids and everything. Although I didn't eat anything. I did weigh myself before the eggs and steak. And I was 194.2 pounds, which I think is a pound to less than last time. But I got to figure out what the hell was seven days ago. The 17th. It looks like on the 17th I was 196 Oh wait, and I'm 194 to now. Oh, I'm almost two pounds lighter than I was last Tuesday. But the truth of it is, I don't actually know how much I weigh right now. Or how much if it's going to come back on when I get back on a regular eating schedule, which I'm absolutely going to do. I'm not even proud of myself for what happened this weekend. Don't get me wrong, but it was so hectic and crazy. And I was worried about art. And the last thing I was even thinking about was eating for myself. So anyway, I've lost about two pounds this week. I'm guessing that won't hold for next week. But we'll see. And I'm traveling this weekend. And I tend to eat less when I'm traveling. So who knows what the hell's gonna happen anyway. Arden's not better but she's okay. We're still searching for answers for her problem. I know I've been vague about that. It's not diabetes related. So please don't worry about that. If that's one of those things that sometimes freaks people out. Anyway, we dove is amazing. I have not been hungry in days and I have not basically eaten in days. So For any of you who are fighting with that, that food voice, this stuff is it's the tits as they say, Yo, what's up everybody? I think this is gonna be the last entry for this episode. Today is October 31. Happy Halloween? Well, things are going well. Well, well, well. In fact, I have one observation from this week, maybe two, I'll give you my numbers. And we'll get you out of here. So, today's weigh in October 31 194.8 pounds. It is not the lowest I've been. But it's very, very close. And I have some interesting observations. So last Tuesday, when I weighed in, what was that the 25th? You know, I'm sorry, I really should look at these things before 24th. When I weighed in on the 24th, with you. I was 194.2 pounds. And I thought, Wow, that's crazy. But I also just gotten back from an unexpected trip, where I was on a plane and then a hotel and I wasn't eating right. And I actually do remember thinking this is probably not my real weight. And sure enough, just two days later on the 26th after I got back to my eating regimen, I was 196 pounds even. So last Thursday, 196 where I think is about where I belonged. And that sounds weird. But on the 25th I hadn't eaten well, for a few days I traveled unexpectedly, was in a hotel, not doing anything I supposed to be doing excuse me on the 24th but on the 17th when I spoke to you before that, I was 196 and then I had that week and craziness and I thought I don't think I really lost weight. I think this number is you know from running around crazy anyway, might have been right. But today I'm 190 4.8 and I think this is a real weight. So very cool. Let's go over them real quick. My BMI is 28.8 body fat 26.3 body water continues to rise as we would expect as I lose weight 53.2 my skeletal mass is going up you would expect that BMR is going down fat free body weight dropping. slowly, very slowly. Down to 140 3.6. subcutaneous fat 22.8 This is all from the Renfrow read fo r e n p h o scale that my wife bought visceral fat holding it 12 My muscle mass is holding pretty steady. It's at 130 6.2 bone mass super steady 7.2 protein rising metabolic age still 56 but I have lost 38.6 pounds so far since I started back in March was March. Right? Does anybody know? I don't even know at this point. Yeah, wow. March 28. Goodness, that's a lot a lot of weight I lost. There we go. He's terrific. Actually on this crazy on these kinds of weekends. You know, it actually makes dealing with hunger a lot easier. Or this past weekend I was in Austin giving a talk for the JDRF in Austin. And oh, thanks anybody who came out by the way, it's really great. But again, like you're in a hotel, different city, not really eating a ton of food. Never hungry. Absolutely fantastic. Able to keep my nutrition up but without having to you know, try a bunch of different foods. Some of them I was like, I don't know how like this some stuff was greasy. Not for me kind of thing. You know, traveling food. Not great. But while I was gone this weekend, Matthew Perry died. The guy from friends if you haven't heard him, sorry if I'm the one telling you would be odd if you hadn't heard by now. But it occurred to me, like you guys hear me on here all the time saying, like, I think of myself as my thoughts not as how I look, I think that it was possible. I didn't know I was heavier during my life because it's not how I judge myself, etc. But a few months ago, I remember seeing Matthew Perry in an interview like a video interview. And I do remember thinking God, He doesn't look good. And I didn't. I mean he's obviously you know, kicked a fairly terrible narcotics habit that I think was with him for many decades. And that's amazing. But I remember looking at him and thinking like, God, his skin looks like it's hanging on him. He looks like he gained a bunch of weight and lost weight and just didn't move. Well didn't sound good. When he was talking. I'm hearing now maybe he's got COPD had COPD, I'm not sure. Anyway, my point is that his body looked he looked a wreck to me. And I noticed it right away. I, and I saw him and I thought, oh God, Matthew Perry doesn't look good. But I must have looked like that before. And, and I didn't notice it. It's fantastic. Anyway. You know what I write that off as this kind of intellectual? I'm not my body. I'm a collection of my thoughts, but my thoughts don't exist without this body. So I don't know, seeing Matthew Perry seeing him die, reminding myself that I've said I'm not, you know, I'm who I am and my thoughts, not my body. It just made me think without this body, my thoughts aren't important. So, I mean, I think that's obvious and everything, but I felt like I needed to say it here. Anyway, thanks for listening to these. I'm getting great feedback on them. I'm glad you appreciate them and you're enjoying them. We go V 2.4 milligrams, getting ready to go in and hold on a second

that one pinched a little bit. I ain't gonna lie to you. Oh, all right. So I am going to go live my life. Make this podcast for you. I appreciate you listening. And I'll restart my week Ovi diary, excellent will be eighth. On the seventh on Election Day on election day. I'll shoot my week over one more time and, and tell you all about it. Thanks. So listening. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

I want to thank all of you for listening to my diary. It really does help me on this journey as it gets longer and longer. And so many weeks and months passed when I started. reporting back to you is really good for me. So thank you for listening. I also want to thank us Med and remind you to go to us med.com/juicebox or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check and get started getting your supplies the same way we do from us med Lastly, I'm going to thank touched by type one remind you that the dancing for diabetes show is coming up very soon, and that they're doing amazing things for people with type one diabetes, all you have to do is look at touched by type one.org. The after dark series from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From smoking weed to drinking with type one perspectives from both male and females about having sex with diabetes. We talk about depression, self harm, eating disorders, mental illness, heroin addiction, use of psychedelics, living with bipolar, being a child of divorce, and honestly so much more. I can't list them all, but you can by going to juicebox podcast.com. Going to the top and clicking on after dark. There you'll see episode 807 called one thing after another episode 825 California sober. Other after dark episodes include unsupported survivor's guilt, space musician, dead frogs, these titles will make you say what is this about? And then when you listen, you'll think that was crazy. juicebox podcast.com Find the after dark series. It's fantastic.