Scott Benner 4/19/25 Scott Benner 4/19/25

#1497 Weight Loss Diary: Seventeen

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Seventeenth installment of my GLP journey

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Scott Benner 4/19/25 Scott Benner 4/19/25

#1496 Transference, Sorta

Erika and Scott discuss how our past shapes diabetes conversations.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Welcome back friends to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Today, my conversation with Erica Forsyth is focused on the things that impact us and how we communicate online and in our personal lives, nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but blue circle health is a non profit that's offering a totally free virtual type one diabetes clinical care, education and support program for adults 18 and up. You heard me right, free. No strings attached, just free. Currently, if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana, you're eligible for blue circle health right now, but they are adding states quickly in 2025 so make sure to follow them at Blue circle health on social media and make yourself familiar with blue circle health.org. Blue circle health is free. It is without cost. There are no strings attached. I am not hiding anything from you. Blue circle health.org, you know why they had to buy an ad. No one believes it's free. Today's episode is sponsored by the tandem Moby system with control iq plus technology, if you are looking for the only system with auto Bolus, multiple wear options and full control from your personal iPhone. You're looking for tandems, newest pump and algorithm. Use my link to support the podcast, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, check it out. The episode you're about to enjoy was brought to you by Dexcom, the Dexcom g7 the same CGM that my daughter wears. You can learn more and get started today at my link, dexcom.com/juicebox, Erica, for the very first time, I have no idea how to start our conversation. So as you and I have been off Mike for 10 minutes trying to figure out how to start it, I was like, we should just record us trying to figure it out,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:18
which makes sense, because this is a complicated and can be confusing topic. Yeah, even in our challenge of trying to define it and identify and give it this beautiful intro that kind of mirrors the experience that we might have as we talk about it, and also the experience that you might have understanding it.

Scott Benner 2:35
So I'll just let people behind the curtain. Apparently, at some point in the past, I just texted the word transference to Erica, and I said, remember this, which not valuable now in hindsight, but then when I you know, I take the moment to look at the actual definition of transference. I realize it's very specific to therapy, right? And I think that if I read the definition I have, there's a part where, if I just cuddle off and don't go the rest of the way, it gets us into the idea. So transference says, Here is the psychological concept in which a person unconsciously redirects feelings, expectations or desires from past relationships onto someone in the present. Then it says, often a therapist. Now that's where we need to forget that part, like so forget the often the therapist part, and actually forget the transference part. I'm more interested in the idea of how we take the feelings we're having and then put them onto somebody else, and then, at times, use that as a I don't know an agreement with ourselves that it's okay now to be harsh in return. I see it online. I see it when people talk about their physicians. I see it when physicians talk about their patients. Sometimes I've had some anonymous doctors come on and speak. I'll never forget the first time it happened, I asked an anonymous doctor, like, you know, what's the problem with the health care system? And their opinion was, the patients don't want to take care of themselves. And like, you know, I don't think that that's obviously everybody, but it was an overwhelming enough perspective that this doctor had, they were willing to say it out loud, and it almost stopped them from thinking about the rest of the implications around the idea. And anyway, I think we just start talking, we're going to find our way through this. I think it's an important topic, even though I don't know what to call it at the moment.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 4:25
Yes, it was we, as you mentioned, transference is is a concept that is named and identified, and as a therapist, you're trained to be aware of that, but it certainly occurs in all of our relationships, our romantic relationships, our peers, our co workers maybe to clarify the difference between transference, which is your feelings desires from your past that are usually from past relationships or experiences that you're putting on to the person you're connecting with in the moment, versus projection, which. Is how you're feeling in the moment, and putting that on the other person, and it doesn't have anything to do with past relationships or past trauma or past attachment. You just as the example we were talking about earlier, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You're kind of grumpy, irritable. You go out into the world, you interact with your checker, and you might say something kind of maybe sharp, unknowingly or unconsciously, and you walk out and you say to yourself, gosh, that checker was really kind of irritable and bitter, but really it was you. Yeah, it was you. What's

Scott Benner 5:29
wrong with projection? Right, right. Okay,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 5:31
which happens most a lot of the time, what we're experiencing is projection and having that awareness, and even sometimes in a lot of you know, marriages, a good intervention is like you say, oh, P card, you're, you know, to interrupt as soon as you feel like your partner is putting that on you. Of like your partner, you know, they're stressed, they're having a stressful day, and they're putting that anxiety or stress on you. You can just, you know, say, up on the P card instead of the D card, as we often Erica, you're saying the

Scott Benner 6:00
p and the p and the D card. And I think we're thinking about different things. So what do those stand

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:06
for? The projection card. Oh my gosh, you just made me blush. Sorry, no, so that's projection. And it's, it happens all the time, and it's simple to a be aware of and then interrupt and intervene without getting into it with your colleague or partner. So that's, that's projection. What we're talking about is, most of the time, I think, in our examples in comp and conversation today, is the transference, which is really from your past, your experiences, that you might have developed coping mechanisms. We've talked about, you know, attachment styles, and we've talked about past trauma, that is all part of that's all at play, yeah, in transparency, that's

Scott Benner 6:58
where it touches the diabetes for me, like that part of where the things that have happened to you in the past really do flavor how I see people responding to things, and I think it just needs to be spoken about, because I think you're holding yourself back sometimes, and at the same time, you could be holding back other people. And I'll maybe talk more about that in a little bit, but I guess for me, the idea is that you know how they say, if there are 10 people that witnessed a crime, and you interview all 10 of them, you get 10 different descriptions of what actually happened, because people's perspectives are different. That idea always interests me in my personal relationships, because when I'm in a group of people, or even if we're not all together, but we're a family, or, you know, an extended family, or, you know, people you work with, or something. It's always in the back of my mind that what I think is happening right now, no matter what it is, is not what they think is happening right now, not exactly you know what I mean like. And so you can say something, you mean something in a very to you is a very pointed way, and then come to realize six months later that that's not how that person took that so life is always moving. It's nebulous, right? It feels like you're doing one thing, but something else is really happening. That person thinks something else is happening. You've got two kids, they see it a completely different way. But in your mind, the story is being written one way, and in everyone else's mind, it's being written a different way and no lie. If you brought them all together and compared them, it's incredibly possible that their description of their life with you would not be even reminiscent of your description of your life with them. Anyway, I don't say that to make a further point, other than I find it valuable to keep that in the back of my head while I'm interacting with people. Then we go into like, private Facebook group situations or online places. And some simple examples that are the most obvious are if a person talks about in any way, shape or form, cutting out any food from anybody's life. Someone who grew up with an eating disorder will have a very vicious response to that, and I know why they are doing it, like they think they're defending someone against having to go through the trouble that they went through, right and maybe are still going through. Sometimes it just devolves into things I don't understand, like somebody will just misuse a word, or their intent will come off, you know, halfway the way they meant it to, and halfway not. And I use this as an example before we started recording, so I'll say it again. It's happened last night. It's going to happen again tomorrow. Someone in my private Facebook group is going to have a reaction to something that, no matter how many different ways I try to look at it, I do not understand what in the hell they're talking about. They're angry or upset with another person, and I've tried to read the entire thread. I've tried to read it in different tones in my head. Like, how could they have maybe interpreted these words? I can't find it, but man, they're pissed. And it feels like, at that point, it feels like a street beating. At that point, like, Oh, my God, am I? Fans are going, I'm not stopping till the cops get here. Like that's how it feels. The Dexcom g7 is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and it features a lightning fast 30 minute warm up time. That's right from the time you put on the Dexcom g7 till the time you're getting readings. 30 minutes. That's pretty great. It also has a 12 hour grace period so you can swap your sensor when it's convenient for you. 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Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:22
Yes. And oftentimes those things might occur when we're responding way too quickly. We're reacting right and not responding. And we don't know, nor maybe it is that person aware of how they were feeling from the day, yeah, and then we don't know how what that person's history is and they were maybe reminded oftentimes, someone might say or do something that reminds you of, perhaps a parent or a past romantic relationship, and your body because of how we're how our nervous system works, you're trained, and perhaps that's how you survived. We've talked a lot about this in our resilience series, in order to survive, you had all these adaptive skills, and maybe it was to come out with your hands up, yeah, and your and your mouth going, and then soon, along the lines, you realize, maybe these aren't, these are now maladaptive, but they kept you alive for so long. So that's part of trauma, but then you're also, it's also transference in that moment, if that's what's happening. Obviously, we don't know if that was happening for this person, but oftentimes pausing and thinking, Gosh, I really want to, you know, rip into this person, either verbally or on Facebook, like, what is that? What is happening within me that I want to do that is that because I'm tired, stressed, maybe? Is that because this person is reminding me of my mother and this is how I responded to her, or does this person really, are they really saying something harsh? But I want to say, I'm going to respond in a maybe more clear way. Do you

Scott Benner 13:52
have any idea how many times when somebody is actually saying something that I look at and I go, Okay, I see how that's harsh, and I'll respond back to them. Like, if you could just be a little kinder here. And they're like, kinder. What are you talking about? I'm like, wait you. You weren't doing that on purpose. Somebody asked me recently online, I did a Q A the other night, which I do a lot of times, and someone just asked me, why or how am I, like, so good at moderating the group their opinion? Like, well, how do you do this? Why are you so good at it? How come it seems easy while you're doing it, why aren't you pissed right now? Like, that kind of vibe? And I in a couple of things. So first of all, I'm older, so I grew up when people actually spoke to each other. You know, you don't text JK to somebody if you want to tell them you're just joking. I grew up in a world where, like, if I wanted to talk to my grandmother when I was 10, I had to get on the phone with her and talk to her. And then when I got there and we saw her, there was nothing to do, so we spoke to each other, right? Like, you know, like, you didn't, like, just run off and do a thing. People all the time are like, I'm so anxious. Like, I feel like I can't get anything accomplished. You feel like there's a million things to do. That's the like, the crux of the problem is that today, there's so much to do, but back. Back then and have anything to do Erica, so we talk to each other, right? And so I know how to speak to people, and then I know how to hear something that I don't like, and then have to respond back into that person's face, you know, not like, Oh yeah, well, you like, it's not like, it's easier to type it out. And people will say that, like, Oh, they're keyboard warriors, which I think is an easy excuse, because I still don't think they think they're being shitty. When the person said, How do you do this? I said, I always assume, if someone's making me upset, that I've misunderstood them. And even if I haven't, that assumption keeps me out of an argument. That's it. I always think there's no way they meant to make me upset. Now there are some people who do mean to make me upset, but they're very, very much so fewer and more far between than you imagine. Most people are not trying to piss you off. They're not trying to stick a, you know, a finger in your eye. They're just saying a thing. Their communication is not great, their wording wasn't right. Maybe they just missed a comma and it just threw off the whole thing for you. You know what I mean? But like, that's how I do it. My assumption is no one is trying to purposely make me upset, and if I feel like that, I should just try to clarify. Because in the clarification process. They often learn that you didn't understand what they were saying, and then you just kind of get it back over. Now ask me if I can do that in my personal life. Not so much. It's not that easy, but, but I'm very good at it online. I mean, I grew up in a time when, like I said, not only did you have to speak to people, but once the Internet became a thing. It was all long form conversations, all forums and people telling stories and responding back thoughtfully and editing their thoughts like, you know, now it's just, you know what I mean, like, it's five emojis. Can mean, like, you know, 20, you know, a paragraph, right? And that's it like. And I do think that the world is moving so quickly at this point that everything's a hot take at this point. You know what I mean? I don't know.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:06
Yes, yeah, we're we're moving too quickly, reacting all the time without pausing. And you have learned and trained yourself and yes, online to to pause, assume the best case scenario in how that person is communicating, and that's and then if you don't understand, you're clear, asking, seeking for clarification. I'm

Scott Benner 17:29
sorry. What did you mean? Listen, I've done it the past, and they're like, they think you're being sarcastic. There are people who, if you're being kind to them, assume you're fucking with them, because they are so unaccustomed to somebody being kind to them. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:45
I could think, I can. I've read, I've observed, okay, yes, yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 17:49
no, you come back and say, hey, look, I'm really sorry. Or, like, you have this long conversation. At the end, you say, I hope you have a great day. And they're like, what's that mean? Like, Oh, I meant, I hope you have a great day. But I really meant that. And they can't even, like, sometimes they can't even absorb that. They think you must be screwing with them if you're telling them have a great day at the end, like, my god, like, are you hearing sarcasm where it doesn't exist? That's horrible. And that's what I see. Sometimes people think, Oh, I know what they meant by that, but I gotta tell you a secret. They don't know what they meant by that. So I'm pretty sure you don't know, like, nobody's that thoughtful anymore when they're when they're conversating like that, like some people are, but yes, but often you just you're saying the first thing. You're doing it with your thumbs. You're doing it while you're cooking. When I did that Q A that came up with that question, I was doing a Q A on this keyboard, on that monitor, while on this keyboard and this monitor, I was doing something else. And, no lie, I had a football game on while I was doing it, and I still go to sleep thinking I wasted some of my life today, but I did. I did more that day than probably, you know, in a week that I used to do before all this existed. So, so is that part of it? Is it, you know what I mean? Like, do you think we've raised a generation of people who aren't great face to face communicators anyway, and then skipped over the face to face and asked them to do what I think is a more difficult form of communication, which is in writing?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:13
Oh, boy, that's probably part of it, right? With this development and rapid growth of online communication and social media. But even before that, transference still existed. Yeah, and perhaps now we don't have as much, you know, mass experience of practicing in real time, in face to face time, as much as we did, perhaps 20 years ago, even I was wondering if it would be interesting to talk about or give examples of how transference might play out. I know we want to bring it whole in the context of diabetes, but I just have these three examples that I think could be interesting to talk about. How okay in a work relationship, a person with a. Strict, demanding parent. So as a child, you grew up with a strict, demanding parent. Now you're in a work environment, you might assume that your supervisor or manager will always find fault in your work, even when you're receiving that positive feedback. So it's kind of a way to think about like your lens. So that's how you're placing right your past experience of having a really strict, demanding parent. You're now redirecting that experience and the feelings you had towards your parent, towards your supervisor or manager, that no matter what they say, even if they're like, Great job today, or like, Have a good day, right, or like, you really did great in that presentation, all you're really assuming or thinking is that they're always finding fault. The other idea, you might idealize a mentor attribute wisdom or perfection to them that might not align with reality. You don't even want to think about. You want to avoid thinking about any criticism, and you're just always looking up to this, your mentor, manager, supervisor, and that might not align with actually, what's happening. So, so it's, yeah,

Scott Benner 21:10
go ahead, yeah. So Is it as simple as if I have like an overbearing endocrinologist as a kid, I might not feel warmly towards doctors for the rest of the way, or if my parents are a little too maybe involved, and don't give me enough autonomy that I'm just going to grow up. Like, being like, oh, like, I don't know what to do. Like, you know, like, is it always that simple? Do people ever pivot from these things?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 21:32
Oh, yeah, yeah. I think you can't. Certainly you can pivot. But part of it is that awareness, I think, with the endocrinologist, example, having perhaps, the not, you know, not ideal relationship with your endo as a child, you might this is kind of a direct, right redirection, redirection of your feeling towards any other future doctor, assuming they don't have your best interest, or they don't really get you, because that was your experience as a Child. That is, for sure, transference the parent example, if you then kind of grew up feeling like they were kind of managing, and you were ready to take some independence, but you couldn't, they wouldn't allow it. As an adult. If you were to then be in a relationship with someone, the transference would look like your partner, suggesting maybe you should Pre Bolus right now. And if you reacted really strict in the way that you maybe your parents how you reacted to your parents as a child. But perhaps most of the time, your partner is really supportive, but that one or two times you know, or you know, randomly, they make a suggestion, and you respond in a really reactive way that could be, again, this is just, yeah, this might not be all the time, but that would be, you're transferring your feelings towards your parents, towards your partner when they're trying to be helpful. Your partner could be doing it too much, and that's a whole different issue, right? Does that make sense? It

Scott Benner 22:54
does. And I actually have a couple of examples here that I'm just going to read it doctor patient relationships, how transference kind of show up in type one diabetes. A person with type one may unconsciously project past experiences with controlling or dismissive doctors onto a new healthcare provider. If a child had an overly strict endocrinologist, they may grow up avoiding medical advice or distrusting doctors. And then it says conversely, if they had a nurturing doctor, I do feel like I see this a lot, they might seek excessive validation from newer healthcare providers. So if you had some great doctor growing up that was super over nurturing, then you're always mad at the next one because they didn't they're not living up to this expectation, right? And then you hear people say, Oh, my doctor sucks. And I'm like, Oh, do they suck? Or, in the end, I just don't know that when you're judging someone else, you shouldn't be just very much thinking about who you are in the scenario as well. Like, and I'm not talking about outlier stuff, like, like, people who are just really, genuinely terrible people. Obviously, I'm not trying to find a reason for that to be okay. But when you're just having these sort of things, parental transfer and burnout. If a child with type one had overprotective parents, they may struggle with independence as adults feeling guilty or anxious when making their own diabetes decisions that I didn't imagine. But so if somebody had always been doing it for you, then when you go to do it, you're always going to be wondering, Am I doing this, right? Am I doing it as well as they used to do it? Am I letting down the effort that they put into me? Even? Like, is that it's crazy, right? But, geez,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 24:20
yes, although that, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess that is loosely. That's, this is where the confusion, like transference, usually is put on to a new person, right? But I guess you're kind of, then

Scott Benner 24:31
they almost put it onto yourself and yourself, yeah, right, yeah. And again, not using the word transference, right, right, right. That's defined some adults with type one unconsciously recreate their childhood caregiver dynamic with partners like to expect their their partner to help them, and then if their partner doesn't want to, it could cause a strain. I've seen that before, too, where, you know, people are just like, well, I didn't get the response back from my partner that I that I deserve and and I'm like, oh gosh. Like, they've probably got a whole little like. Uh, origin story too. That might have stopped them from being able to do that for you. You know what I mean? Like, it's back to what I'm saying. Like, everybody's got a different perspective. But in the end, we all give our opinion of what happened at the traffic accident, and that's the one we're going to hold to because how it felt to us, you know,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 25:15
right? And in that, that partner example, I'm going to try and describe it not as a therapist, like in therapy, we'd call that counter transference. If the partner is like, well, I don't want to help or support this person because I was never validated enough or received gratitude, because I used to help my kid sister all the time growing up, you know, I don't like that partner may, as you were saying, that partner might have a story, yeah, about why they are scared or fearful or or don't want to, whatever the reason is, and then having that awareness to communicate that would be the next step,

Scott Benner 25:52
exactly. So what I see that always like, baffles me, but it doesn't once you start going through this, I guess, is like somebody will be very like, supported by somebody in a post, right? And someone, you know, it doesn't happen a lot. I have to say, the group's really good. But once in a while you'll get somebody that comes through. It's just like, you know, you're being weak. Or, you know, why do you need these people to tell you that you're doing okay? Or, like, I'm like, Oh, you're asking the wrong question. The question should be, why don't I see this kindness as what it is like? Why am I offended by people being kind to each other, but vice versa? By the way, when you see somebody be honest and straightforward about something, but not cruel, how come? Very often I see people, they'll tell me that person's not being nice, and I'm like, No, they're not being unkind. They're just being direct. They're not looking at you first thing going, Oh, I hope you're okay. And like, they're not doing the voice and like, the eyes, and they're just saying, hey, look, here's the answer to the question, like, what are you being so harsh for? My god, they're not being harsh. It's just, it's not even critical, like I and people who are like me and have this position, if I think, if you're doing it well, you really do have to remove yourself from all the opinions while you're moderating, because I have found myself more often than you might count, defending something that in my personal life, I'd be like, I would never get behind this, but in the realm of we're all gonna get treated equally, and all of our ideas are valid, and as long as we're being kind, it's okay to say what you're gonna say. There are times people say stuff and I'm like, I don't personally agree with that at all, but they're not doing anything wrong by the way they're presenting it. You're flipping out. And somehow you've put yourself in a position where you get to think you're right and they're wrong. And I don't know another way to put this other than like, wrapping it around virtue signaling, which is something you see online a lot like, people will just say the thing that they think nobody else can argue with, and it's obvious that it's right and that they want to be associated with this so badly. And then they see somebody else who just says something like, let's be less obtuse for a minute. Erica, okay, okay, okay, it's incredibly possible that some people had problems from the COVID vaccine. Okay, yeah, it's possible. I'm not saying it is that it absolutely happened. It happened to a million people. I'm just saying it's possible, and if someone brings it up, I'm weirded out by people going, like, we can't talk about that. I'm like, I mean, I don't understand that exactly. Like, you know, maybe they're end up being wrong, and we'll talk it through, and you'll find out they were wrong. It's possible. But like, it's so strange to just say no, no, I'm on the side of right. I'm on the side of good. And so anything you say that goes against that is bad. I'm obviously good. I win. You lose. You're being mean. I'm being great. I don't know that that's true because we haven't had the conversation yet like that is a specific example. Is something I've been living through for three years moderating this group, continuing down paths of difficult discussions. There's a no religion, no politics rule in the group. But from my perspective, if you come on and say, I just I'm so grateful to God that my family is getting through this, I don't think that's religious. I just think that's you just saying I'm grateful to God. If you don't believe in God, just don't comment. Don't come in and be like, there's no religious conversation. I mean, it's religious conversations. The guy's just grateful. And I'm like, Why are you so upset that he is grateful to God? Let's just say there's no God who cares. Let's say there is a God who cares. Like, I don't understand why everyone always plants a flag so firmly somewhere and decides you're wrong. I'm right, and because I'm right and you're so obviously wrong, I'm allowed to just open up a fire hose of on you, and I don't have to stop, like, I don't I don't understand, like, you don't know that, that there are plenty of people in the world who think you're wrong and they're right. Like, is that not obvious? So

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:58
in that you. Example, I would encourage all of us to say, Wow, I'm having a really strong reaction to this person being grateful to God. And I'm going to think, Gosh, does this remind me of somebody? Am I responding to like a conversation I've had or an experience with a priest or a family or a church, or am I just having a really hard day? Or am I? There are probably multiple things you could consider, but just noticing when you're having that really strong reaction or intense response related to something in the in the present moment, is this reminding me of something from the past? And if not, okay, then think about how you want to respond? Yeah, the

Scott Benner 30:41
most interesting way to parse through that, if you're listening, in my opinion, is this, a conservative leaning person thinks of me as conservative. I'm talking about me a religious person thinks of me as spiritual, because I've said I'm not religious. A not religious person believes me to be a pagan because, like, so like, so I am. You're neutral. I'm so neutral that you agree with me, and so you put me on your team. Or if you disagree with me, you put me on the opposite team. It happens constantly. I've had people online like, rant about, like, he's Joe Rogan, and I'm like, I don't really fit into that category. I also don't know that Joe Rogan fits into the Joe Rogan category. I don't think any of us fit into the category that you're putting us in. Do you know what I mean? Like, I always say people like you, trust me, you don't know how I think about this. The election just went by. Liberal people definitely think I would like paint my hair like the rainbow, and they definitely think that. And I'm also not telling you, I wouldn't, I'm just saying they're super sure about it. They're just as sure as the conservative people who believe that. I know that those hippie liberals are ruining everything. It's fascinating what ends up happening when you put in this position, but at the same time, if you're moderating something, and I come in and I say, hey, look, you know, they're not saying anything bad here. Immediately that person believes that I'm on their team. I'm sticking up for them. I can't believe this is what you think. I've taken you to be like this. You should just take me to be neutral and to believe that I'm good with whatever you think. I couldn't possibly care less what you think. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going so you all can realize that you've all got diabetes and it sucks, and you have a lot that you could help each other with, as long as we can sit here and talk about it. I don't care if a pangolin ate a bat or if it got out of a lab. I don't care if Dr Fauci is a great guy, or if he's horrible, it doesn't matter to me. I also can't prove it, and I don't even have the time to worry about it. I just want you all to keep talking, so that you realize that you have these experiences around diabetes and insulin and burnout and doctors and all the other the real you're actually struggling with every day, and you could help each other. So why don't we stop arguing about whether or not Mark Zuckerberg, blah, blah, blah, because I don't know him. Elon did a Nazi salute. Did he I don't know. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. I don't know. You know who knows him? He just told you one. Do you believe him? No, well, then I don't know what the one like we're gonna keep like, I'm crazy from this like, you're gonna keep digging through it. You can't prove for the rest of your life. Here's what we can prove. That lady knows how to Pre Bolus, and that one over there knows how to set up a tandem really well, and that lady knows how to use Omnipod five. Those are the things you should be talking about with each other. And if one of us uses a word that makes you upset, do what Eric had just said. Just stop and say to yourself, Why am I having such a harsh reaction to this? I know how hard this sounds to some people and to other people. It's obvious and common sense. If you see something you disagree with, scroll past it. Yeah. All done. Like, that's it. It's super simple. Is this why I brought this up? Is this just frustration about me monitoring a Facebook group?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 34:08
Oh my gosh, maybe sorry, but you, but what you have, and I'm noticing your experience, is that you've created a very safe space, right? And oftentimes that happens in in a therapy room, right where you've created safety, safety, and the client typically might assume that the therapist is aligned with their perspective, and that's not right or wrong. That's just the feeling of safety been experienced, and that's great. I've spoken

Scott Benner 34:36
to a therapist in my life, but 100% thought he thought I agreed with everything, and he agreed with me. And I'm sure he was like, This guy's an asshole, yeah, probably exactly, I swear to you, like, I just want you all to realize that group is there for that, that safety is important, but it's important also to remember that the fragile amongst us that think of. Safety is one thing, and the people amongst us who have really harsh opinions and are very pointed and don't mince their words, they need safety too. Everyone needs that safety. It doesn't matter what their perspective is or how they speak like that's the thing you're missing in today's political landscape, in social media and everything else, that everyone has that position. And in their heart, they believe that if you don't let them speak, you're the oppressor. And it doesn't matter if you're like, you know, a hippie, you could still be oppressing somebody. And it doesn't matter if you're screaming and yelling about, God, you could still be oppressing somebody. And to bring it back into this, if you come in and start ranting and raving about low carb eating, you're oppressing somebody. And if you're yelling about I had this cupcake and I put a waffle on top of it and syrup, and guess what, I Bolus for it, someone feels oppressed by that, and I they're not really oppressed. It's an overuse of the word, but someone feels like their thing is being ignored, and their needs and their desires and their wants and their hopes and their dreams are being ignored. And what I'm saying is none of you have the power to even do that to each other, like just be kind. You know, if you have an opinion about something, there's a way to write out the sentence where you get your criticism across without it feeling like a criticism, where you get your point across in a way that could actually make somebody think, like, oh, that they might have a point there. You know, like, because yelling and ranting, or, you know, running around acting crazy on all sides of this spectrum. I'm literally not sticking up for one person's political views or views about eating. I really couldn't possibly care less how you eat or what you love, or I just don't care. But everyone's going to feel like the people who aren't agreeing with them are against them. And I think there's a way to not agree, but not to leave the person feeling like you're against them. I hope that makes sense, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 37:06
and I think as in this, as we're still talking, I guess about the Facebook group, if you're noticing that you're having a really strong emotional response to the comment, not only checking yourself and wondering, is this, is this triggering something from the past? And then if you still want to write something, you could even build in some awareness and lead with, gosh, I noticed I'm feeling really strongly to your I'm feeling really strongly frustrated or concerned or angry by your comment. This is how I'm feeling. I mean, you're that's not gonna, quote, fix it all, but you're demonstrating and practicing for yourself some awareness of why you're feeling that way,

Scott Benner 37:47
and you'd be a little vulnerable too. That helps people like, that's the other thing that the person asked me about, like, how do you do this? And I said, I'm gonna give a secret away here a little bit, but I always put myself in a reasonably subservient position in the conversation. Because I don't think that most people don't want to be lorded over. And some, and those, some of those people who don't want that have a very bad reaction to it. And the people who, if I put myself subserviently in the in the back and forth, the Kinder people don't Lord that over you anyway. They just see you as kind and so, like, it's a way to not trigger people. And I really should say this, because now I realized how it kind of sounds 99.9% of the people in that group are lovely. I do believe it's we're still talking about the fringes. Yeah, you know, the people who are going nuts in one way or the other, or angry, or whatever they're doing doesn't really matter. But the reason why it's important and why it's it needs to be spoken about, even though it feels like it's just a few people, because it really is just a few people, is because it gives the feeling that it's everywhere. That's the problem is that literally, what's the saying one bad apple spoils the whole bunch. Is that? Like, it doesn't really spoil the bunch. It makes you look at the bushel of apples and go like, Oh, I probably shouldn't stick my hand in there. Even though there's only a worm in that one right there, I could probably grab this one from the other side. The reason I'm so quick about it online, and try to be so quick about it online, is because in a group where sometimes 50 new people are coming in every 24 hours, two people, you know, four it's two people an hour, right? Like, two new people an hour. The first thing they see when they get there can't be your crazy ass talking about some crazy thing and having some other crazy person yelling back at them, who's just having a bad day. Because we finally got them to a place that's going to help them. Finally got them here and you want the first thing they see is for you to be rant and Raven about something, because they're going to leave. They're going to think, oh yeah, this is what I know about Facebook. Somebody told me this was a good group, but obviously it doesn't. What they're not going to know is that 120 other posts from that day weren't anything like that, and that Erica was. It's outside of your expertise, and maybe outside of mine, to some degree, has a lot to do with the algorithm. The algorithm knows what pisses you off, and it shows it to you, and so

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 40:10
even if it's your first crazy by the way,

Scott Benner 40:14
I keep saying this recently, but how many have you had anybody tell you yet you can't maybe you can't tell me. In practice, my algorithm knew I was gay before I did. Have you ever heard anybody say that? That's a thing that's happening more and more like I look back now and I go, Oh my God, my algorithms been trying to tell me I'm a lesbian for nine months. I didn't realize it, because it's feeding me what I'm looking for. If you're a person who lingers, you don't even have to, like conflict, pause, yeah, if you linger on it a little bit, or click, or find yourself reading it, or scroll up and down once or twice to show that you're going through it. Then you join a new Facebook group, and here's 120 new posts today. You know the 1,000% of them are about like, taking good care of yourself, or celebrating how things are going, or how I got my standard deviation done, or something like that. But instead it goes, Hey, here's one where a lady is yelling at a guy for blah, blah, blah. You love it when people yell at each other, and then you think, Oh yeah, look, this place is exactly like the internet is. And so we put up so many posts every day of people celebrating or people showing you what worked for them, or answering questions that everybody has, the algorithm will not serve those posts to people. They won't. You have to go find them. But if I go on, we did a thing recently. I put I did a thing. I put up a post. And I said, Hey, everybody, listen. I've been trying to get the word out about I was doing a giveaway. I was trying to give away a spot to camp to kids. And I was like, so the first paragraph of this post, I started a fight. I said, Hey, what do you think a tipping culture? Isn't it crazy that we're being asked to tip for things and blah blah blah, I've got a new rule, if I'm standing up, you don't get tipped, like, blah blah, like that kind of thing, like, meaning like ordering at the counter. Yeah. So I put a little post together, and right under that, I say, Hey, listen everybody, I don't really care about this. I'm just trying to make the algorithm serve this post to people. I'm trying to do a giveaway. Here's the giveaway information below, but do me a favor, go down in the comments and argue about tipping. Holy crap. That post got served to people for a solid week. It got seen by 80% of the people that were in the group. Have you ever heard the phrase I'd give my left nut? I'd give my left nut for some of my posts to be seen by 80% of the people in the group. And then, you know what? I was like, this is just what I'll do now. I'll put a fake argument at the top of each one and blah, blah. Except, you know what happened? A handful of people who were servers were really fucking pissed about it. So I was like, Oh, God, oh, you can't get around the algorithm and still be kind. I saw

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 42:45
the puppy post. Did you get more views with the puppy? Not

Scott Benner 42:49
as much as I've gotten with like, people complaining, arguing. Oh, yeah, you could use sexuality, but I won't. I don't do I'm not going to do that. But you see, a lot of even companies are doing that now, like device companies, like, I mean, they pump out, I mean, because they're always asking people, right? Like, hey, sending your pictures of you with your device. But you know, when you see a lot of posts in the summertime when people send in their pictures with their device, and that just the algorithms like, oh, look, there's a person whose skin isn't completely covered, they shove that, that content forward more. So, I mean, maybe I could get abs and try it. I don't know, but I think that's gonna take a while. You know what? I mean, I don't know. I listen, is there, is there a wrap up here for people? Because I started off by just thinking, you guys have this feeling inside, and you're putting it on other people, like, that's just how it is, how it felt to me, and you're stopping yourself from enjoying life or getting answers or meeting friends or making a safe place for yourself or finding a community or building yourself a digital home, or whatever it is you're trying to do, like when you're out there arguing with people, this is what's going on behind the scenes, and you're making one lovely podcast. Or who's in charge of all of it out of his mind. So please stop. He can't take it much

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 44:11
longer. I can take, you know. So the yes, you're, you're, you're strong,

Scott Benner 44:15
I'm fine.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 44:19
I think we all are. It's all human nature, right? Yeah, and we all are responding and reacting from our past experiences. And the more we can bring awareness to that, I think, you know, the more beautiful experience we can have. But it's it's hard, it's a hard journey.

Scott Benner 44:35
If I had one piece of advice, I just tell people, put yourself in my position, make it your goal to create a place where everybody is welcome and everybody's there to help each other. And if you have that as your like, your north star, then the rest of it just kind of comes. Like, even when people ask about, like, you know, why do you think the podcast is so popular? But if, like, it's simple, like, I just get up every morning and I think, like, oh. Wonder what these people need, and then I just try to imagine what that is and give it to them. And you know, like, if you had that thought when you were dealing people, like, what does this person need right now? And just did that, you'd get back the thing you need without trying. But that's some hippie dippie. So you're probably not going to believe me, but like, the truth is that the podcast has helped me way more than it's helped you, if you're listening. And I got that by doing nice things for other people. I think there's a parable in the Bible about it, even, but I would know, because I'm a pagan, unless you really like me, and then I'm very spiritual, and I might have read

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 45:33
about it, and I don't, I don't think your therapist thought you were a jerk. For the record, he's a

Scott Benner 45:38
lovely guy, by the way. I really did like him, but, you know, he's still around. Think I should stop by and say hi. There's no way he'd remember me. You mentioned I'd be like, Hey, what's up? If you like, Get out of here. No, you don't think so. You don't think he'd be like, Hey, you're not paying me. I don't want to see

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 45:55
you. No, I think it'd be nice to see clients like, I mean, I don't know how long ago you went, but I think it's always nice to hear from them. You know, one, 510, years later, 20, I don't know if the guy

Scott Benner 46:04
just opened the door and he'd be like, Oh, my God, you never murdered anybody. That's awesome. Erica being really super serious for a second, and then I'll let you go. What do you think, if it just stream of consciousness? How do you think you can best approach talking to people online in a community setting, understanding that people are very stressed, a lot of them, some of them might feel euphoric, like they figured something out. They might proselytize like like, given the all the things that might happen. And that's basically what do you think your best plan of, I don't know, attack is for becoming part of a community. It's a question I'm just asking off top my head, so you don't

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:47
have an answer. My plan to be a part of a community like the Facebook group. How

Scott Benner 46:51
do I enter into that space and have the most success before

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 46:56
either reading or posting, checking in with how you're feeling right? Are we? Are you scrolling while you're cooking? Are, you, know, just checking in right in the moment before you open it up to read or post? Take a beat. And I know this is hard to do. I don't do it all the time. Like it is hard to do right? Like it's just habit. We're sitting there doing whatever, and we're scrolling just like, Am I Am I ready for this? Do I want this? How am I feeling right now? Go from there and then, if you're noticing irritation or even sadness, you know, a lot of times we hop on and maybe the stories we're reading are too intense for how you're feeling in that moment, that's okay. That doesn't mean what people are sharing is wrong. It's just it's too hard for you in that moment of time. So maybe put it down and say, Gosh, this is really, this is really triggering, and it's truly triggering, right? Like, if you are feeling that sadness, it's okay allow that to come, or if you're feeling neutral and you want to chime in check in with how you're responding. So it's just kind of a really awareness of how you are in that moment. How are you feeling as you're reading or posting and noticing? Is this coming from how I'm feeling right now? Is it present feeling, or is this triggering a past feeling or experience? Yeah, those three things hard to do all the time. That's what I would do

Scott Benner 48:15
for me, and I've brought it up a number of times the podcast I probably haven't talked about in a long time. It's the college commencement speech called This is water that I read like probably about once a year, or listen to once a year. If I can find the recording on YouTube, it just helps me to think about something very simply, and I'll bastardize a lot of what the author said, but I just try this. If someone zooms past me on the road, and they're driving crazy. I try to think to myself, they must have a really good reason for doing that. They probably don't Erica. They're probably just assholes. Okay? I like to think they really gotta and they're trying to get to a Burger King on the corner. I like to think that they're kids at home in trouble, and they're racing home to help them, because it doesn't do me any good to imagine that they're bad people and that they don't care about me and that they're going to kill somebody. It just makes me upset, and giving them the benefit of the doubt is maybe the most holistic lovely thing that I can do for myself, and in the course of doing that, I get more out of life. So if you go into that space just thinking like if someone's doing something that's really rubbing me the wrong way, I just assume they either have a very good reason for it or I'm misunderstanding them. I give them the benefit of the doubt, and then it always works out for me. That's how I don't end up in arguments with people online. I get put in so many situations every day that if I came from any other perspective, I'd be laying waste to people constantly, because, you know, someone's always got a problem with something like I spoke about earlier, and like, you can't be the one who's just always coming in with a ruler and cracking people over the knuckles like it just doesn't work that way. So anyway, I appreciate. You doing this with me? I know I talked a lot. I apologize. Oh, it's all good. Thanks. Hold on one second I'm gonna say goodbye to you.

Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast was sponsored by the new tandem Moby system and control iq plus technology. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juice box. Check it out. Dexcom sponsored this episode of the juice box podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom g7 at my link. Dexcom.com/juice box. Earlier you heard me talking about blue circle health, the free virtual type one diabetes care, education and support program for adults. And I know it sounds too good to be true, but I swear, it's free, thanks to funding from a big T 1d philanthropy group, blue circle health doesn't bill your insurance or charge you a cent. In other words, it's free. They can help you with things like carb counting, insurance navigation, diabetes technology, insulin adjustments, peer support, Prescription Assistance and much more. So if you're tired of waiting nine months to get in with your endo or your educator, you can get an appointment with their team within one to two weeks. This program is showing what T 1d care can and should look like currently if you live in Florida, Maine Vermont, New Hampshire, Ohio, Delaware, Missouri, Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa or Louisiana. If you live in one of those states, go to blue circle health.org to sign up today. The link is in the show notes, and please help me to spread the word blue circle health had to buy an ad because people don't believe that it's free, but it is. They're trying to give you free care if you live in Florida, Maine, Vermont, Ohio, Delaware, Alabama and Missouri. It's ready to go right now. And like I said, they're adding states so quickly in 2025 that you want to follow them on social media at Blue circle health, and you can also keep checking bluecirclehealth.org to see when your free care is available to you. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcast, and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes. I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? The Diabetes variable series from the Juicebox Podcast goes over all the little things that affect your diabetes that you might not think about travel and exercise to hydration and even trampolines. Juicebox podcast.com, go up in the menu and click on diabetes variables. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrongwayrecording.com, you.

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Scott Benner 4/17/25 Scott Benner 4/17/25

#1495 Laura’s Lore

Laura, a nurse, was recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Laura 0:15
Please. If you do call me by my name, I don't know why people can call me Lauren. They can call me whatever name, but if they say Laura, it just makes my blood curdle.

Scott Benner 0:25
Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com All you have to do is use the offer code Juicebox at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com AG, one is offering my listeners a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of d3, k2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure you check out drink AG, one.com/juice, box. To get this offer. Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident? If you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d, exchange.org/juice box and take the survey. When you complete that survey, your answers are used to move type one diabetes research of all kinds. So if you'd like to help with type one research, but don't have time to go to a doctor or an investigation and you want to do something right there from your sofa, this is the way t 1d exchange.org/juice box. It should not take you more than about 10 minutes. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes and their mini med 780 G system designed to help ease the burden of diabetes management, imagine fewer worries about mis Bolus or miscalculated carbs thanks to meal detection technology and automatic correction doses, learn more and get started today at Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box. Today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 the one year where CGM that's one insertion a year. That's it. And here's a little bonus for you. How about there's no limit on how many friends and family you can share your data with, with the ever since now app, no limits. Ever since.

Laura 2:30
Wait. I do have one. I have one, one request. That

Scott Benner 2:35
was awesome. You did that as soon as I hit record. Go ahead. What's your request, please?

Laura 2:39
If you do call me by my name, I don't know why. People can call me Lauren, they can call me whatever name, but if they say Laura, it just makes my blood curdle. So if you could possibly say Laura instead of Laura, that would be amazing. Well, this

Scott Benner 2:56
is being recorded, if you don't mind, and I want to dig into I want to dig into this, because the two names you just said sounded exactly the same to me. So no, no, they're not the same. Give me the proper pronunciation.

Laura 3:09
Well, okay, so I realized I recognize that you can say it both ways, but I just when people say Laura like it sounds like l, a, a, u, r, A, it feels like you're like, gagging, at least to me, but when you say Laura, it just is, like so much smoother and prettier Laura just sounds and no offense to anyone that goes by Laura, but I do not like it at all. Listen,

Scott Benner 3:37
I think I understand what you're saying, and I'm gonna mimic it back in a second to make sure I do, but I just want to tell you that when you speed up and say them concurrently, they sound exactly the same. So like

Laura 3:47
we can agree to disagree, because I do not feel the same thing, you're

Scott Benner 3:52
obviously hearing it one way, and I want to do it, and I think I've got this. So I think there's lore, l, O, R, E, and there's lair. And you like Laura, yes, but if I said Lara, you would hate that. Yeah, Lara, now how about Laura? That's good. That's good. Yeah, see, I don't hear my saying it anymore.

Laura 4:15
It's like when the sound after the L is more of an A versus an O. That's what I don't like. Okay,

Scott Benner 4:22
so not Laura. Laura, yes, there you go. You

Laura 4:27
can hear the difference. Now I want

Scott Benner 4:28
to be clear. I can hear the difference, but when you say it, I don't hear the difference. As long

Laura 4:32
as you as long as you can hear the difference, that's fine. That's all I'm asking. But do

Scott Benner 4:37
your imitation of both of them again. But don't tell me which one you're going to do. Just say them both, yeah in any order. Laura, yeah, that almost sounds exactly the same. What I hope is that people listening every time you say something that they either agree or disagree with as they're listening for the next hour, they say out loud to themselves, Oh, cute. Loud. Laura, that's gonna be awesome. All right, you're Laura. I got it Yes, like from the TV show with the girl and her daughter, Laura, lie like that. Yes, yeah. I don't know what the TV show is called, but oh gosh,

Laura 5:16
I don't either. I've never watched it.

Scott Benner 5:19
Gilmore Girls, yeah, sim, sometimes I say stuff like that to hook people, and they're like, yelling. Now they're like, it's Gilmore Girls, you idiot. And I later,

Laura 5:25
that's one, that's one show I couldn't get, I couldn't get on. Oh, way

Scott Benner 5:30
to, like, really drive a wedge early. I

Laura 5:32
know I'm starting to regret it. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:35
right now. I mean, I think, you know, probably heavy 60, 6040, women

Laura 5:39
listen to and you're like, all of my friends in college love that show. Yeah, I'm

Scott Benner 5:43
saying right now. They're like, Oh, Lara doesn't like Gilmore Girls.

Laura 5:48
I don't know if this, this episode's gonna do too all for you.

Scott Benner 5:51
Scott, no, no, no, don't worry. It'll be fine. We'll figure something out here. All right, so let's, uh, let's dig in a little bit. I was gonna ask you to introduce yourself, but I think that part's over

Laura 5:59
now. I think they got the name down, hopefully. Tell

Scott Benner 6:03
me a little bit about your diabetes. Yeah.

Laura 6:05
So I was diagnosed in October of 2023, like four days after my 24th birthday. Wow, yeah. I've only been diagnosed a little over a year, like a year and a half. It was very unexpected. I have no diabetes in my family, anything like that. My husband and I had actually just moved cities right after he graduated, so I got a new job. I'm a nurse, work in the hospital, got a new job, started training. It was a very, very stressful environment, kind of one of those things where it's like, I love the adrenaline, but my body didn't, so started doing that around Labor Day. I got sick. It wasn't really like anything crazy. I had a really bad headache and a runny nose for a couple days that went, came and went, kept working, and then I started getting, like, super, super thirsty. Bought myself a new water bottles. Like, this is great. We're drinking water. I'm gonna be hydrated, telling

Scott Benner 7:03
myself I'm gonna drink more water. This is awesome. Finally happening. Thank you, yeah.

Laura 7:10
Started doing that. Started peeing more obviously. Then I was like, Man, I really can't see the monitor, like the monitors in my patients rooms, from the nurses station, like, and driving home from work was really hard, and I was like, Man, my eyes are really, really bad. So I made an appointment for the eye doctor. Went to the eye doctor, and he was like, I was telling him everything that happened. Like, yeah, my vision just got really bad over the course of like, three or four weeks. He's like, have you checked your sugars lately? And I was like, No. And up until that point, I was like, kind of my husband, I were talking about trying to get pregnant. So I was like, oh, maybe I'm pregnant. Like, I'm not sleeping well, like I'm breaking out all around my face, like, all these different hormonal changes. So I was like, kind of like, trying to convince myself of something otherwise. And I was like, No, I haven't checked my sugars. That just like, kind of got me thinking in that direction. My mom actually had a glucometer. Because she's a health nut. She's like, Yeah, just take my glucometer. Take your sugar. It's 256 so I was like, That's not great.

Scott Benner 8:10
Your mom that doesn't have diabetes, is like, Here, take my glucometer. Yes, yes,

Laura 8:17
it's awesome. So and we were never a family that really went, like, I never had a primary care I went, I maybe went to the doctor, like, twice as a kid, like, Okay, let me find a primary care doctor. Found one, pretty holistic. I didn't want her to, like, throw a bunch of meds at me if it wasn't what I was thinking. Whatever walked in, they had taken my sugar, taken my urine, all of that. I walked in and she goes, Oh, honey, you're a diabetic. Didn't introduce herself, didn't say anything, didn't even look up from her computer. And I was like, Thanks.

Scott Benner 8:46
Wait. All of this happened before you could give her the big Laura, Laura conversation, yeah, yeah,

Laura 8:52
yeah, yeah. So I was like, Oh, that's great. Thanks for just like, changing my entire life, and not even, like introducing yourself at all, and this

Scott Benner 9:02
is like a year and a half ago, yeah, jeez, oh, I'm sorry that sucks. Yeah, it was pretty

Laura 9:09
traumatic that now that I'm I'm realizing that now I think I tried to convince myself that it wasn't, and now I'm kind of coming to that realization. Yeah, so

Scott Benner 9:18
maybe you've things have settled in a little bit. Now you're looking more at your maybe the mental aspects of all this, yeah, for sure, yeah. Well, in the beginning, it's a mode where you're just trying to exist and continue and yeah, damage control mode, yeah. So, well, okay, How long had you been married when this happened? Today's episode is sponsored by a long term CGM that's going to help you to stay on top of your glucose readings, the ever since 365 I'm talking, of course, about the world's first and only CGM that lasts for one year, one year, one CGM. Are you tired of those other CGMS, the ones that give you all those problems? That you didn't expect, knocking them off, false alerts not lasting as long as they're supposed to. If you're tired of those constant frustrations, use my link ever since cgm.com/juicebox, to learn more about the ever since 365 some of you may be able to experience the ever since 365 for as low as $199 for a full year. At my link, you'll find those details and can learn about eligibility ever since cgm.com/juicebox check it out. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the mini med 780 G system. The mini med 780 G, automated insulin delivery system, anticipates, adjusts and corrects every five minutes. Real world results show people achieving up to 80% time and range with recommended settings, without increasing lows. But of course, Individual results may vary. The 780 G works around the clock so you can focus on what matters. Have you heard about Medtronic extended infusion set? It's the first and only infusion set labeled for up to a seven day wear. This feature is repeatedly asked for, and Medtronic has delivered. 97% of people using the 780 G reported that they could manage their diabetes without major disruptions of sleep, they felt more free to eat what they wanted, and they felt less stress with fewer alarms and alerts you can't beat that. Learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes by visiting Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox

Laura 11:37
we had just celebrated our first year anniversary, so, but we had been together like seven years before that, so he took it in stride. He was great with I think a lot of it came from, like, a lack of knowledge, but he was great with

Scott Benner 11:52
it. Lack of knowledge. He's like, this will probably be fine. I think she's gotta take more vitamins now. Yeah, actually, I think your first anniversary supposed to be paper, not diabetes, yeah, yes, yeah, you messed that all up. So interesting, isn't it like you're a nurse who didn't really go to the doctor much?

Laura 12:09
Yeah, no. And I'm, like, the first medical professional in my family. Like we, we are not medical at all. I don't really know where it came from. I think I really like to take care of people. I think that's like a I'm a big problem solver, so I like seeing a problem, being able to have a solution and do something about it. So I think that's where that came from. But I'm the first medical professional, and none of my family has really a medical background. You becoming

Scott Benner 12:34
a nurse is likely if I became a ski instructor, like i No one ever talked about or looked at. I don't like the snow, like, you know what I mean? If I just woke up one day, I'm like, You know what I'm gonna do? It's pretty cool. It really is. Yeah, you knew coming out of high school?

Laura 12:47
Yeah. Actually, I feel like that's one thing that I've never really wavered on. I'm a pretty indecisive person, but nursing is has always I never changed my major neighborhood. Never thought about really doing anything different. I thought briefly about becoming a teacher, and then I did a kids camp, and I was like, yeah, that's not for me at all. So I really like adults, and I like taking care of older adults. So yeah, I

Scott Benner 13:12
think I'm gonna start a t shirt line of things people say on the podcast, because I believe I could sell a fair amount of indecisive person T

Laura 13:20
shirts. Is that related to diabetes? I wonder. No,

Scott Benner 13:24
it's not. But you just said I'm a pretty indecisive person. I thought I bet you a lot of people would wear that T shirt that said indecisive person. Oh my gosh, but not indecisive at work, I would imagine,

Laura 13:35
no, not really. That's a good point. I really thought about that.

Scott Benner 13:38
Yeah, I mean, because that's pretty cut and dry, the stuff you do at work, I would imagine,

Laura 13:42
yes, yeah, most of it is some a lot of it's critical thinking. So in that sense of the word, you have to think and make decisions. But for the most part, it is, yeah, okay,

Scott Benner 13:52
so how have you found the last 18 months of having type one diabetes? What's it been like?

Laura 13:59
It's been a whirlwind. To be honest, I feel like when I first got diagnosed, I obviously, I came at it with a lot of background knowledge, a lot of the knowledge coming from type two diabetes, because most of my patients, that's what I was exposed to. So I think I came at it with a lot of knowledge, but also with a lot of fear, just because a lot of obviously, if they're in the hospital and they're a type two diabetic, something is going wrong, and a lot of comorbidities, a lot of you know, neuropathy, retinopathy, co amputations, things like that. So I think right off the bat, that was the picture that I created in my mind of like, this is going to be me in 40 years. And it started with like, How can I basically arrange my life, learn everything that I can to make it so that it's like, I don't have diabetes again? Yeah, that was obviously very stressful. Still is very stressful because I didn't realize that at first. Now I do realize that. And so. So I'm trying to make that balance of like, what is worth the stress and what is not, because stress obviously takes a toll on your body too. So at some point, the stress that you're putting yourself through is actually doing damage to your body, and that's the first reason that you're doing all of this. So yeah,

Scott Benner 15:17
there's a balance to find for certain, exactly, yeah. You know what? People would bring that up in earlier in the pot, like years ago, in the podcast, and I think my mind always leaned a little more towards No, just manage it better, and your life will be better. And I believe that. But I also think there's a moment where your management kind of finds a stride, yeah, and you can stop staring at it so hard, you know, like, you can still do a good job without being hyper focused. Yes, I think that's the place I like when I see people get to like, you know, they don't look at 160 blood sugar and go like, Oh my God, I've screwed everything up. And, like, you know, and create a big drama for themselves, but at the same time, they wouldn't look at it and think, I'm not going to do anything about it like, yeah, to find that that middle and it is really interesting. You started talking. I said, How have you found this time? And I thought, I wonder which way this is going to go. Because I have spoken to nurses whose kids or themselves have been diagnosed, and they immediately think, Oh, this is going to be a cake walk. I'm a nurse. And then they either a learn that they didn't really understand much about type one diabetes, yeah, and they kind of freak out and don't know what to do, or they believe that the part they know is the only thing they need to know, and they end up ignoring a lot of stuff. Trust me, there's a lot of stories in between, but those are the two big like pathways I've seen in those stories. So I was interested. Because, you know, you say I have a lot of experience, but then it really is about type two diabetes. You don't really have type one experience. So, yeah, yeah. How did you end up picking through what you knew and what you were experiencing? I think

Laura 16:52
a lot is through the podcast. I learned so much, and just I went through the Pro Tip series, and that helped a ton. A lot of it was like, Oh, yeah. Like, that makes sense, like that. I just hadn't thought about it like that. So I think that was, like, a huge part of it, and and just like, trial and error. You know, there's a lot of people that I follow on Instagram now that I see what they do. At that previous job, I had a co worker that had type one diabetes, and he was like, an awesome sounding board, just to, like, bounce things off of and, like, just to be like, an emotional support, and that was huge. Yeah, I think trial and error in the podcast probably were the two biggest things. Laura,

Scott Benner 17:32
do you believe that people listening who've been listening for years missed the old sarcastic me, who would have taken that opportunity to take credit for your health? Or do you think they like this new, more mature me who just let you speak?

Laura 17:44
Well, you just spoke on it, Scott, I don't know if you grow now.

Scott Benner 17:48
I would have cut you off in the past, I would have been like, Oh, I did it. You're well, okay, okay, I just, I found myself wondering, I'm like, this podcast been going on for so long. There are some people who are probably, like, keyed in, waiting for me to jump in and say something stupid. And, you know, they're like, oh, where's that? I love that part, where's that? Or I hated that part, or, but I don't know anyway, yeah, I did not expect you to say that. And, you know, I don't know. You know, you obviously, that's wonderful. I'm glad that it was there and that it helped you. I just, in my personal life, two days ago, had someone reach out to me and say, I am on the way to the emergency room with my son. And I just realized, and this person doesn't know me through all of this, they know me differently. And they were like, I just realized who you are. I need help because I think he has diabetes. Because of people like you sharing your story with me, I was able to confidently say, here's a list. Listen to these. Here's a list. Listen to these. When you're done, let me know. I'll give you some other stuff to listen to. And I felt really and it's gonna sound strange, probably coming for me, but I haven't always felt confident doing that. But you know, over the years, just hearing person after person say, oh, you know what did it for me? It was bold beginnings. Or, you know, I can't believe how much like defining diabetes helped me, because I didn't realize there were so many buzz words I didn't understand, like that kind of stuff. It's really lovely to hear. So I'm in a very good place. I'm starting to feel better. I had a surgery last week. I'm eight days out of having my nose fixed. Oh, my goodness, yeah. And this is only the second time I've recorded since I had the surgery. Well, you sound great. You don't sound stuffed up or anything. I'm doing my best. I'm doing what I was told to do. I'm following the protocols. I felt really terrible this week. I had a weird reaction to the anesthesia, which I don't they must have used something that I don't usually get. Okay, by the way, isn't it great? You get to an age where you're like, you've had so many anesthesia situations where you're like, I know, like, my knee, my toe, my shoulder, like, I don't usually feel that. Anyway, I don't know. She must have mixed something else in there, because I've been like, foggy for the last like, five or six days. Oh, okay. And I. Get up. I'm like, Oh, I feel better today. And then I do something, and I'm like, that was all the energy I had for today. Yeah, yeah. Made me feel like it made me feel old. I'm gonna be honest with it, but this was nice, awesome. You gave me a nice Pep. I have a good feeling that I'm not gonna fall asleep at noon today. Okay, good. I'm glad, or this will end and I'll just be wasted. But, yeah, oh my gosh. Well, you so you've had a whole little thing like now, did you find that during your diagnosis that people assumed and didn't tell you things because you were a nurse?

Laura 20:33
Oh my gosh, yes. Literally, no one even taught me how, like, she never, she never taught me how to give an injection, she never taught me how to take my blood sugar. She literally said, I know you're a nurse, so I'm not going to waste time, like, teaching you everything.

Scott Benner 20:49
Would it have been a waste of

Laura 20:50
time? Honestly, I don't think so. Like, I figured it out. Like, I obviously, I'm here. I didn't die. I figured it out just the fact that she did that. Like, maybe there was a nurse that didn't know that. Or, like, what else are you just assuming when you're taking care of these patients that you're not teaching them? Like, I was in such shock, obviously, that I didn't I was like, Are you gonna, like, teach me how to do this? Or, like, are you gonna give me resources or something? Yeah, she prescribed me mph, which even when she did that was, like, on a sliding scale. I was like, okay, a

Scott Benner 21:24
year and a half ago, yes, what part of the country are you in the Midwest? Okay, that's fine.

Laura 21:31
She he was a very, very old school like, do things like, how I've always done them, not changing based on anything type of doctor, and so she prescribed that to me. And then she was like, I'm gonna refer you to an endocrinologist. He'll probably change it. But I was like, mph on a sliding scale, like I even knew that that was like, not equating you

Scott Benner 21:53
feel, Laura? Do you wait, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Dora, do you feel that you made me I got I got self conscious when I said your name. You did great. You did great. Do you feel like that's the cop out because she doesn't want to be the one to give you insulin? Probably, yeah, she sees you need it, but she doesn't want to be involved. Well, yeah. And

Laura 22:11
it was just, like, really frustrating, because I just found this doctor. I was like, I don't want a doctor that's going to throw a bunch of meds at me whatever. She was like, oh, take these vitamins. You need to do, like she was kind of getting me to do vaccine, like purging or whatever. And like she was, this

Scott Benner 22:26
is the hippie you went to Yes, yes. Do you still see her?

Laura 22:30
No, no. I did not go back to her. I really just went to her for because I knew that I was going to need, like, a referral to an endocrinologist. So I was like, I just need this. And so her main concern wasn't even the diabetes, it was everything else that she thought caused the diabetes. So, and I just can't imagine, like, coming to her with no medical background, and like, not being able to advocate for myself. Or, like, okay, no, I'm not gonna give this much mph for like, a meal when I'm about to go to bed, you know, like, so,

Scott Benner 23:01
yeah, when you walk in because you have type one and someone goes, Do you have a diffuser? Yes, they're like, Listen, I don't want to hear about your essential oils. I need insulin. Okay, literally,

Laura 23:10
yeah. And I'm not saying that there's no, there's no place for that. There is a place for that 100% but not when you are in your 20s and you just got diagnosed with type one diabetes, I don't have the mental capacity to be able to retain this information. And the sad thing is, is that I tried to in that moment, and like, I was like, oh yeah. Like, maybe I should focus on that. And like, I think it took away from me, mentally accepting the diagnosis and, like, figuring things out maybe a little bit sooner, because I was distracted with all this other stuff,

Scott Benner 23:41
I hear that, yeah, to me, it feels like you're walking down the street. You're shot in a robbery. You're laying on the ground clutching your side the EMTs get there. You're like, oh, this is it good. And then the EMT looks down and goes, Let's get her chakra aligned. And you're like, No, how about pressure on the wound? My friend, yeah, yeah. I got you, yeah, she, she kind of went in a more of a hippie dippie situation than you were looking for, and again, maybe a couple of weeks later, that would have been a nice conversation. Yes, yeah, for sure. So you got to that end, though, you made it across town, path, all the methods and everything, because you're in the Midwest and everything, yeah, and you're, I'm sure it's not like that. Anyways, we're gonna make I'm not gonna delve into that. Oh, it is like that. What are you trying to say? Like, no, no. I mean, if we're gonna make fun of Canadians for living in igloos, then we got to bring up the meth heads. Once in a while we talk about the Midwest. That's fair. I'll give you that fair enough, but you get to an end. Oh, and what do you like? How do they get you started knowing

Laura 24:41
that the doctor was who she was. She obviously referred me to someone that's going to be like, similar to her.

Scott Benner 24:50
You found a stone den, though? No, no, no, let's just smoke a little bit, then we'll talk about your diabetes.

Laura 24:59
No, no, no. He was just, like, really, really old, and so he just would not let me get a word out. He just kept talking and talking and talking, talking, talking and talking like he was very nice. You know, you have to go to this, go through the steps of finding someone that you actually want. So this is another, another step, you know, towards the right direction. But he prescribed me levier and then the human log pens. So getting closer, not them, yes, yes. And at that point, I started on the g7 so that was like three months after diagnosis, yeah,

Scott Benner 25:30
I begged. When the person I contacted me, I was like, just make them give you a CGM. Like, that. You don't leave. Because, by the way, this person was misdiagnosed in the ER, given Metformin, even with me saying, like, through text messages, I'm like, you know, he doesn't have type two diabetes, like, this is type one. You know, I was able to get them to agree to a gad anybody test at least. So

Laura 25:53
I am very thankful that I didn't have to go through all of that, like, they tested me right away for all those things, and so I didn't have to fight my way through that, so I am pretty thankful that it was recognized as type one, yeah.

Scott Benner 26:06
So you still see the old guy, or no, no,

Laura 26:08
actually, I'm now on my Let's see one, 2/3 and now

Scott Benner 26:13
you switch about every four months, literally. Well,

Laura 26:17
it's my husband and I have moved twice since then, so it's been a little bit of a whirlwind. And when I saw him, he doesn't do pumps, so like, I saw him for like, six months, and then I was like, listen, I let him talk. I was like, I feel great. I want to pump. And he was like, okay, so he, he referred me to someone else, saw them, got on the pump, and then we moved again. And now the endo that is managing me, she is actually my primary care, and she has a kiddo with type one, so she's managing me as my endo as well. So

Scott Benner 26:52
you're telling me that when the doctor was faced with your I'd like to get an insulin pump request, he referred you to a different physician. He

Laura 26:59
referred me to a different endocrinologist. Yeah, he's so old school that he doesn't do pumps.

Scott Benner 27:05
Don't you think you find yourself in that situation saying, Maybe I shouldn't be helping people with type one diabetes if I don't have this level of comfort?

Laura 27:11
Yeah? And I think a lot of a lot of it was he manages type twos a lot like I don't think type one was necessarily his specialty. So I don't, I didn't really, like, ask him about that. I was just like, okay, whatever. I'll do what I need to do to get on a pump. You know, it

Scott Benner 27:28
brings me right back to something you said earlier. Like, I wonder what else they don't know? Like, that kind of feeling. I forget what context it was in the conversation. But once you're getting that advice, you have to stop and think, like, like, what else isn't being understood here? Like, yeah, I don't know anything. I'm counting on this person to know it and say it to me, yeah. What if they don't know as well?

Laura 27:50
Yeah, it just, it makes me sad, because obviously I had, I had a lot of background knowledge, but a lot of people don't, you know

Scott Benner 27:58
sure you know, it's been really valuable for the podcast last 48 hours for me, speaking to my friend on the phone yesterday and hearing Laura, it's one thing to have somebody on and retell a story and pick through it, and I think I do a pretty good job of getting through their stories and hearing kind of deep ideas, but to hear someone in the moment going through it, I think you'd all be shocked if I would have recorded the phone call I had yesterday with this person. Yeah, yeah. To say lost is not even the right word, yeah. You know, like somewhere between scared, sad, overwhelmed, freaked out, undereducated, no, Dizzy, doesn't know what's happening doesn't understand half the things that are being said to them. Probably won't remember them tomorrow. Yeah? I mean, it really does feel like one of those war movies where, like a bomb goes off next to somebody, and then somebody's yelling at them, like, You got to get up, yeah? You know? And they're just like, I can't like, I all my senses have been shut off.

Laura 28:57
Yeah? It's literally just, like, Chaos Control at that moment, really

Scott Benner 29:01
something honestly, yeah. Anyway, I would think that would be too intimate, and I wouldn't ask anybody to do that, but I genuinely think it would be eye opening for people to listen to someone going through it in the moment. It

Laura 29:13
would probably bring up a lot of their own emotions too. No, yeah,

Scott Benner 29:18
because you're hiding so much from yourself while you're talking about this, yeah, I noticed yesterday that I had to be incredibly careful about the things that were said and weren't said. And, yeah, to me, it's common sense, but I also heard a lot of it on the podcast over the years, talking to people like, I can't believe my doctor said that to me on that day, like, you know, and so I knew things not to say. It wasn't lost on me that she had those questions they were in the back of her head, is my kid gonna die sooner? Is this gonna ruin their life? Like, is that, like, that kind of stuff, and, you know, so I just, I said more broad things, like, hey, my daughter's 20. She's in college. She's had diabetes for 18 years. She's fine. You wouldn't know she has diabetes if you looked at her, you know, she has other. Other autoimmune issues too. We manage them. I was honest. I said, like, don't get me wrong, like, this isn't going to be a picnic or anything like that, yeah, but it's very, very doable and and then I shared with her that I thought that some of the most resilient, like well balanced people that I know, have type one diabetes, yeah, you know, yeah. Hopefully that helps her. But

Laura 30:21
yeah, 100% I think it, I think it did. I

Scott Benner 30:25
hope so. What pump did you get? I got the Omnipod five. Oh, awesome. How are you liking it? I love it. It's great. You know, it's funny, because I half expected you to be like, oh, like, I'm real active, and then not active in my week and it, but it's working well for you.

Laura 30:39
Yeah, I definitely have, I mean, qualms with it. I I'm actually in manual mode because I started on the g7 and going back to the g6 kind of felt like a step back to me. So, and I'm a control freak, so I like to have control. So I think that comes with its challenges. It definitely requires a lot more effort from me. For the most part, I really like it. I'm

Scott Benner 31:04
gonna say something that people are gonna be like, Oh, Scott doesn't know everything about diabetes. It's constantly happening. But I'm okay letting you know that that's true. Omnipot Five doesn't work with g7 yet it

Laura 31:14
does. Oh, it does. So when I got on it, it wasn't compatible at all. Then in between that time and then coming out and being compatible with it, they came out with the app on your iPhone. So I was like, oh, like, praise the Lord, I don't have to carry around two phones. So that was like, a big thing for me. And then they came out with that. It's compatible with the g7 but only with the controller. So I was like, I'm not going from carrying one front phone around back to carrying two phones around just to be in auto mode, right? Because I already have, like, I have pretty good control. So I was like, I'm willing to wait until they come out with the compatibility on the app. Okay, that

Scott Benner 31:54
makes sense, and I'll tell you, like, it's been a while now, but when Omnipod five first came out, we had it pretty quickly. And Autumn was like, I don't understand why. Why do I have to switch what I'm doing? Like, I like what I'm doing. It works, yeah. And I said, Well, just try this. Because, you know, I think there could be a lot of value here. And it was working great. But the tripping point ended up being for her exactly what you just said. She's like, I am not carrying two devices with me. And so she, so she switched back to looping at the time. Now she's using trio, but it was exactly it. So when the functionality comes to your phone, you'll, you'll go into auto mode. I

Laura 32:29
will definitely try it 100% and then I'll see like, what the control is like, and probably go from there. I have thought about looping, but I haven't really done anything more than just think about it.

Scott Benner 32:41
Yeah. I mean, you're pretty early into all this. You've come a long way in a short time. Yeah, that's

Laura 32:46
also true, yeah, you feel that, that I've come a long way, or that I'm, like, just into the well,

Scott Benner 32:52
no, that it's been a short time and that, but from where you started to where you are now, like, I would imagine, you don't recognize yourself from the first three months. You know what I mean? Like, you're You seem very confident in understanding of what's happening to you, I guess is what I'm saying. Yes, yes, I would agree with that. Yeah. Do you because you have an older voice, but you're younger? Do you know that?

Laura 33:11
Yes, a lot of people tell me that I have, I have an older sister. She's four years older than me. And when we were younger, mostly they thought we were twins, and then they would say that I was the older one. Yeah,

Scott Benner 33:21
I'm trying to, like, balance. It's hard for me because, like, my son, you and my son, are the same age, right? Actually, he just turned 25 but you're basically the same age. He's very bright, very capable, but thoughtful person, but there's still times when you talk to him, like, Oh, I forgot he's in his mid 20s, yeah, yeah. And you're tricking me, because you're, you're a nurse, and your voice is a little deeper, yeah. And you feel in your 30s to me. And then, so every once in a while, I say something, I go, she might not know she's only 24

Laura 33:51
No, that's, that's very possible. That is, yes, I can definitely get on board with that.

Scott Benner 33:56
Yeah, no. I mean, it's just, you know, people who are 24 like, Oh, don't you know, maybe they're upset by that, but you'll say you'll get older, and you'll look back on yourself at 24 and go, oh yeah, I didn't really know what I was doing in all aspects of everything. Yeah, 100% is the baby making on the back burner now, yeah, we

Laura 34:14
have a lot going on. We're just busy. My husband's in grad school, and he's a graduate assistant coach for the basketball team that he played for while he was in college, so he's kind of busy with that. I've changed jobs so often. I've only been at this job, like for five months, and we moved back last April, and we're redoing our kitchen. And it's definitely a thought, 100% but not like a forethought, like a It's not at the forefront of our thinking right now. Do

Scott Benner 34:44
you want Scottie opinion? Sure, it's okay to wait a little

Laura 34:49
bit. Yes, I agree with that, but also with all the health issues and everything, and like, not knowing if we're going to easily get pregnant or if it's not going to be so easy. And like. Like thinking about them growing up and getting older, whatever. I just, I kind of want to start that process sooner rather than later, but I definitely, I see what you're saying. Yeah,

Scott Benner 35:08
there's no right answer, but, and there's, there's pluses and minuses to both sides of it. 5% my kid's 25 and I'm 53 that's awesome. Yeah, that part's Great. Yeah, you know, like that. I'm not like, 65 right now is, you know, it's attractive, like, I like that. We were always very young parents in like, my son's like, age group, so I went to school functions and baseball games, and the other parents were always 10 years older than me. Like, always, always, always. And for that, I like that we got started earlier that part of it, but the other side of it is, is that, like, my wife and I didn't really get to, like, hang out as much by ourselves, like, because we were married, and then a couple years later we had Cole, yeah,

Laura 35:55
but now that they're older, and now you guys, now you guys have time to do that, right? Yeah?

Scott Benner 35:59
But it's different. Now we've been together for 30 years. How's it different? Well, How's it different? Need me to tell you or

Laura 36:07
do well, I mean, do you still love each other?

Scott Benner 36:12
That's that's all nice. But like, when you're like, 55 you don't pull over in an alley to have sex, but you do when you're 23 you know what? I mean, like, that's fair. Okay, that's my point is, is that, like, there's, there's a loss somewhere, like we lost something on one side to get something on the other side, which is just how everything works. But I'm just saying I don't know how to quantify the other side of it. I like being younger now that my kids are older, I think that's great. I don't know how much I would have enjoyed not having a kid till I was 30, yeah? Because I might have liked those seven years too. So

Laura 36:45
if you were to redo it, would you do it the same way? How the should I know?

Scott Benner 36:51
I only know the one way I like the way it worked out. Yeah, but I also could have used with a couple of more liaisons, like next to a dumpster. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And by the way, not next to a dumpster, but I'm following, yeah, I have to tell you, that's probably my line. I don't think I would do it up against the dumpster, is what I'm saying. Yeah, probably not. That's not very sanitary, not very sanitary at all. Be you know, but like, you know, you know I'm saying, yeah. Anyway, I don't know. I honestly don't know what to tell you. You could have them now and be like, Oh my god, I'm young. I shouldn't be doing this. It's, you know, because I'm gonna tell you, having a kid, it's all encompassing.

Laura 37:32
Oh yeah, your entire life changes. Yeah, that's an

Scott Benner 37:35
understatement that you don't realize. Yeah, everything is different. I still like, I'll get done recording here, and I'll walk out and someone will be like, is anyone hungry? Still code for like, Dad, you should make some eggs or something, yeah? And I'm like, Yeah, I am hungry. And then I find myself cooking for three people in the middle of the day. And I'm like, I don't think that I should be doing this.

Laura 37:59
But also, Scott, okay, listening to you, and obviously I only know you from the podcast, but, and like how you took Arden's diagnosis and made it this entire, your entire life, I feel like you might actually love that. And that's recalling,

Scott Benner 38:13
yeah, but that's fair, but I, but I'm never gonna stop wondering what I should be doing, what else I could be doing with this time. Like, does that make sense to you? No,

Laura 38:23
that that makes total sense.

Scott Benner 38:25
Yeah, I think I'm a very focused, like, caregiver person, and I make this podcast, and then other than that, I sometimes drive to the grocery store. You know what I mean? Okay, that's not all that you're no, that's most of my life. So we went on vacation last year for the first time in like a decade.

Laura 38:45
Yeah, and aren't you, like, I don't know if you already did this. I should probably not. Aren't you, like, organizing an entire cruise?

Scott Benner 38:52
Yes, me and 100 of the listeners are going on a cruise in June. That's gonna be awesome. Like, yeah, but that's also a work thing, yeah? You know, I think my point is, is that I started with kids so early, and I'm still involved now because they're still younger. I don't mean this in a whiny way. I really don't know myself, not as a parent at all, right? And so I went from growing up poorly to meeting a girl who had problems, you know, of her own, to us getting together and becoming a unit, to us making a baby and being parents. Yeah, so like, I don't really know how to like, I don't know who Scott is without kids. And I'll tell you the other day, my wife had to go away for business. And somehow my wife had to go away for business. My son went away with his girlfriend, and Arden went away for the day. And so there was this one day I was here completely by myself, and I'm gonna, now, I'm just gonna completely do a 180 I started off that day. I was like, This is it. I am an adult. I have, I have. Cash, I own a home. What is gonna happen today? So, and then by like, 11 o'clock, I was doing dishes, yeah? And I was like, I wonder when everyone's coming home. This sucks, yeah. So, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Just, you probably just, you know, do regular banging, and it'll happen, and you'll probably be fine

Laura 40:19
well. And I think part of it is that all of my friends, oh, well, not all of them, a lot of them, and just people I fall on Instagram, from college and whatnot, are having kids. And the same thing happened, like, before I got married, I was like, oh, everyone around me is getting married. I want to get married, and now everyone around me is having kids, and so I don't have kids, but it's like, would I have been fine if we would have waited a year or two to get married, probably. But so it's those feelings of, like, I understand. I want a lot of comparison. I guess

Scott Benner 40:47
I didn't feel that growing up like, trying to, like, you know what I mean, like, but is that like, I'm gonna say, you know, I always feel like people are gonna be like, He's so old or whatever, but like, is that a girl thing? Do you think? Yeah,

Laura 40:59
I would say so. And just with social media, it's the whole basis of it is comparison. And so it's our natural tendency to compare and want what other people want. So yeah, I think it, but I think it is a girl. It

Scott Benner 41:13
is a girl thing. I don't look at other people and think like, Oh, I wish I had what they had. Yeah, I don't

Laura 41:18
know. That's a very interesting point that you made just there. I don't, I don't know what's behind that, but I would agree with it. Yeah?

Scott Benner 41:24
I mean, I don't. I'm sure people are like, it's not a girl boy, it's just you. But, and it's, it's very possible, I just, I don't covet thy neighbor that much. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, yeah. That made me laugh, to the point where I now have to blow my nose. I'm sorry, but you give me a second. Oh God, please be careful. Don't worry, the blood stopped days ago. I'm good, okay,

Laura 41:43
I heard like a faint sound in the background. I was like, Wait, was that I

Scott Benner 41:47
did a very like, I'm only allowed to blow my nose lightly and okay if I sneeze. And, God knows, I didn't know this was possible till the guy told me, you have to open your mouth and sneeze through your mouth. I didn't know that was possible either. Well, I've done it three times this week. Wow. Yeah, I'm still pretty super sore. Yeah, I can imagine things are pretty sore So, but anyway, that's not the point of any of this, is it? Let's get back to the things I was saying that people will be mad about. I don't know, like I have things, I guess, so I maybe don't. How do I put this? I'm at a point in my life where, within reason, I could go buy something that I wanted, and you know what I go by? What nothing? I worked my whole life to get to a point where I could be comfortable saying, I'm going to spend $200 and now I don't want anything. Is

Laura 42:37
that because you already have things that, like, take up space in your mind, like when, when you talk about that, I it makes me think of my dad. My dad retired in May of last year, and all talking up to it, he was, like, super nervous about not being fulfilled, or not knowing what to do to fill his time. And he he actually, like, didn't retire for a few years because he was so afraid of that. He was afraid of being bored out of his mind, not knowing what to do, whatever. And then the second that he retired, he has loved it. He has never found himself bored. He's like enjoying himself the most he's ever enjoyed himself. He's happy. He's stress free, sleeping good, losing weight, everything. So it's like, when I think about your case, it's like you might not discover that about yourself until you have to, you know, yeah,

Scott Benner 43:26
I hear what you're saying, and I agree with you. That wasn't my exact point, but we can do both things. My point was, is that there's nothing that I want. I spent my whole life getting in a position where I could get things if I wanted them, and then I got to the position where that was reasonable, and now I don't want anything. It's just very it's very disappointing, you know, like, I thought I'd get to there I'd be like, All right, like, I'm gonna buy something now. And then I just, like, I don't really care. The thing

Laura 43:55
about if you didn't have your kids, or if you didn't have your wife or the podcast, what would you spend your time doing? Oh,

Scott Benner 44:00
I would get up in the morning. I would probably take a nice warm soak. I'd probably go for a walk, have an egg. I think I'd spend a couple of hours tending to, like my chameleons and the plants that like the vivariums they live in and stuff like that. And then I, I don't know, I'd make this podcast still, so I almost have the podcast in a place where it can be part of my life forever without it killing me. So I build it up to a place where it's popular and there's still a lot of work that goes into keeping it there. Like, social media is terrible. Like, you know, the way, I mean, anything's terrible. Like, you you know, if you opened a candy shop in your town, you'd have to work hard to, you know, keep it going for 20 years. But like, so there's always going to be that part of it, keeping it in people's consciousness, making it something that people still want, you know, need desire, like, can use, like, whatever. But the big pressure around that it's over, I climbed a mountain now, like, I'm up there. Like, no. What's left is it's a game of King of the Mountain. Now, like, you know what I mean? Like, I made it up there. Now I have to, I have to stop other people from trying to knock me off. Which happens, yeah, it sounds ridiculous. I hear it as I'm saying, how ridiculous it sounds. But that's happening constantly, right? There are other people out there that want you to hear their content, and I suck the air out of that vacuum, yeah? So, like, they'll spend a fair amount of time trying to discredit me or push me around, or say things behind my back, or go to advertisers and bitch. Like, there's a lot of that that goes on. I wish it wasn't true, but it's a really dirty space, like, no different than any other space, honestly. Yeah, right, yeah. So I got up there, I think I sucked the air out, and so I exist a bit in a vacuum, and they're trying to break in. So there's time I have to spend with that. There's time I have to spend managing the online community stuff, which is generally wonderful, but periodically, I swear, oh my god. And, you know, right now, it's the political climate, and every everyone's ranting and raving about what they think is being taken from them and, like, and I have a little more long view of things. I'm like, Look, I don't not think you shouldn't be out there, you know, swinging hands for yourself and everything, but, like, some of the things they're worried about, I'm like, that's not gonna happen. Like you're gonna wake up three months from now and realize that was never going to happen. Yeah, the way I think of it is like we can't run around like everything is a fire, like we gotta wait till there's actually a fire, you know? And right now, everybody's acting like everything that's said is a disaster. And I'm like, and then the problem is, is that when you try to come down the middle and look at that, then people think they know my politics, which I guarantee you, is not true. Yeah, right. So my moderating self is different than my personal anyway, that stuff's a bit of a thing, but that's

Laura 46:54
and that's not even like, what you want the space to be for, you know, and people, people turn it into that. And then you have to navigate away from that. Like,

Scott Benner 47:02
I come in, I go, like, this is a community for people with diabetes. We're not here to talk about your political concerns, yeah? And they'll say, well, that impacts my diabetes. And I'll and to that, I would tell them, that's wonderful, and you're probably not wrong, but that's not what this space is for. Yeah? You know, like you might be hungry while you're at church, but you can't bring your grill in and start cooking while the preacher talking. There's a thing going on here. We're doing a specific thing. It's for this. Yeah, if you want to go talk about that, go start your own thing, or find a place where people are talking about that. I think that's wonderful. I honestly, I genuinely do think that's wonderful, but that's not what this is for. Exactly like, this is a place where somebody comes in and says, I don't know how to Bolus for my food. I'm all over the place with my diabetes. I'm having, you know, you know, some sort of psychological struggles. I don't need those people getting there and seeing 11 people screaming about Dr Fauci, because whether those 11 people are right or wrong doesn't matter. It all looks crazy. Yeah, you know. And so like, I want people to be comfortable. I want it to be an oasis for them, yes, for sure, anyway, so that even that part, it's not that much work. It's just frustrating. Back to your initial idea, like, if I was retired, I could still be retired, but make the podcast, but not be working so hard. Yeah, I was speaking with a media consultant recently, and they said, like, what's your goal here? I said, 10 more years. I'd like to make it for 10 more years, and in those 10 years, behind the scenes, I want to try to find a way to automate it so that people can have it in the future when I'm not making it anymore. Like, those are my, like, my goals for it, yeah. And I said because if I have to still work 10 years from now, in my mid 60s, I don't know, I'm going to be pissed. I gotta be honest. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know. Like, I think the truth is, is that I know people say you're not what you do. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's like, you know, people are like, Well, you can't, you can't live your life being your work. But to some degree, I don't think that's a bad thing, yeah, you know,

Laura 49:14
and I don't want to get religious, but for me, my work is not like my purpose. And I think a lot of people who make that their purpose, when they're done with it, they feel lost,

Scott Benner 49:28
yeah, because it's gone then, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I don't think the podcast is my purpose. I do find fulfillment from it. And there is something, and you have this too, right? Like, isn't there something cool when somebody walks out better off than when you met them? Yeah? 100% Yeah, right. That seems better to me than some of the other things I've done in my life for money. Yeah? So I don't know. I mean, i In the end, I think the honest truth is, if I didn't have my family, I'd be bored. And I do think that's awesome. I think that's great. Me, and I do think I get sad eventually if, like, everybody was just not here,

Laura 50:04
yeah, and I think that's kind of how it should be, yeah, I

Scott Benner 50:07
guess so. But maybe I can make one of those late in life families like, what? Like a lady down the street and I have a kid together and no one knows about it, and then I can start over again. No, maybe,

Laura 50:17
maybe not. I'm just kidding. I mean, you can do what you want, but I would recommend against that

Scott Benner 50:26
some sad, 32 year old lady who's like, been divorced three times, and she's just like, He's nice, this is good, but I'm like, and I'm like, but I'm 60, and she doesn't matter. I'm lonely and like, you know, and then it turns into, like, a TV show, be awesome.

Laura 50:37
I think that's maybe when you should get like, a cat or a dog. Oh,

Scott Benner 50:40
my God, I have a dog. The worst is this the time where I, no, I'm not going to have that conversation yet. Never mind. We have a dog. So do I or so a great dog. Love the dog, not saying otherwise. Okay, okay, all right. What have we learned here? Like, let's look back over this first, by the way, did we go for any of the things you meant to come on for? I didn't

Laura 51:03
really have a goal of coming on here. I feel like maybe I was looking at it as a source of therapy for

Scott Benner 51:08
me. Let's see what you said. Lack of education around type one and type two. Diabetes, isolation around diagnosis. You felt isolated, yeah, because how's that possible you're in the medical field,

Laura 51:21
because no one other than that, one coworker, no one has type one diabetes, no one talks about it. Before I got diagnosed, I had a horrible understanding of it, and so now I have this brand new perspective, and I don't really have anyone to share with, at least not online. I do, but not in person, and it feels very isolating when you try to talk about it and people don't understand the way you want them

Scott Benner 51:49
to. Okay, maybe I should start a van tour of the US, right? I could just go to different places, and we could all get together and have lunch together and talk. That'd be awesome. Yeah, I don't know it seems like a lot of time for me, but All right, I'll think about it. But seriously, do you do you wish you knew more people in person? Oh, yeah, 100%

Laura 52:11
it's very, very isolating when all the factors that go into diabetes people, they just don't understand it. Not to say that talking about it with someone who doesn't have type one diabetes, isn't without purpose, but it's a different kind of feeling, versus when you're talking about it with someone who does understand,

Scott Benner 52:29
yeah, trust me, I fight with that too, like I realize I don't have diabetes, and somehow this podcast is as popular as it is, and I do wonder sometimes, like, Does that piss people off?

Laura 52:41
But I also think having a child with type one puts you in that category. I think

Scott Benner 52:46
grandfathered in. Yes, yeah. So you can be grandfathered in. I'll take that. I actually saw just today, like somebody online saying, like, I'm so tired of people who don't have diabetes telling me about my disease. That's how they put it, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I thought, Oh, I wonder if that like, stretches to me, or like, or if I get a pass actually, is what I thought. So yeah.

Laura 53:07
And it gets very isolating, like, a lot of times when I think, Oh, I could bring up my type one. It's like, oh, it's not worth it, because they're not going to understand. And so that gets very exhausting too, because it's like, I don't feel like putting in the effort to make them understand one because I they're not going to unless they have it, which it's not their fault, but also like they just won't understand no matter how I explain it to them. So it's, it feels very defeating. So you

Scott Benner 53:35
want a connection with other people, but the bridge to getting that connection is too exhausting? Yes. Oh, that makes sense. So you need to find somebody who already understands it so it can kind of go without saying you can just exist together and that would be comforting. Yes, oh, yeah. That's interesting way to think about it. Okay, have you tried doing that with other people, or do you just believe it would be exhausting?

Laura 54:01
I've done it, obviously, with my husband and with my parents and very, very close friends of mine, but like, I don't talk about it at work. A lot of people don't know that I have it at work, and I'm not very open about it. And I think part of that is what we just talked about, but part of it also is, like, I just don't feel like putting in the effort to explain to them and that

Scott Benner 54:24
feeling right there that you almost can't put into words, that's the isolation. Yeah, yeah. 100% that sucks. Is there a way out of it? Is there other things you can do to fill that void? I'm

Laura 54:36
trying to become more comfortable with talking about it, and I feel like if I just become more comfortable with it and accept the fact that they're not gonna understand, because how can they, you know, like they don't have it, like I can't understand cancer on the same level that someone else does that has cancer. So it's like, I can't blame them for that. So I think becoming more comfortable just talking. About it will, in turn, make me feel less isolated. Yeah,

Scott Benner 55:05
what stops you from being comfortable talking about it? Is it the idea that they're not going to get it? You're gonna have to go into deep conversation about it, or is there something else too

Laura 55:14
that? And I mean, working in healthcare, people just make jokes about diabetes constantly, and I don't want them to feel like they can't be themselves, or like, I don't want them to think of me differently, like, I don't know, make jokes like, I've had co workers make jokes like, can you really eat that? Or like, go eat a cookie, or like, stuff like that. I just don't want to deal with that, to be honest. Yeah, I hear that. Oh my god. It's easier. It's easier just to not talk about it. Then is

Scott Benner 55:41
there two sides to that coin? Like, do you not want to impede them from just saying whatever they want to say, but at the same time, you don't also want to be the butt of their joke? Or do you not mind that part? I think

Laura 55:50
I do mind it. It's not by choice. Like, I don't I wish I didn't care. But it's also like, I just don't want them to think of me differently. Like, I just want to be the co worker, and I don't want to be the co worker with type one diabetes, you know, you're just Laura, yeah, which I don't like. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know. I guess you'll

Scott Benner 56:11
find out. I guess so. Probably a good thing. You can't go wrong being yourself, you know. But you don't want to hide yourself, and you don't want to spend your time defending against other people's misunderstandings or ignorance is either. So yeah, what do you do? Yeah, I guess you live and you learn and you adjust. Yeah, I just realized that on my whiteboard it says 2024 and we are almost three months into 2025 so

Laura 56:38
nice. We're in that transition period. We're still in February. You

Scott Benner 56:42
think so? You think this is still it's still okay that I don't realize that the following year has occurred. I just looked up at it. I was like, 2024 What the hell. What an ineffectual whiteboard I have that's really not doing anything for me. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that we should have.

Laura 57:02
Oh, I don't think so. I think we, we covered everything.

Scott Benner 57:06
How was this for you? It was awesome, yeah. Are you nervous, though? Not no good. You were nervous at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, it's understandable. I'm very, very famous. You imagine how ridiculous that is? No, it's not ridiculous. No, it is. It's very ridiculous. Don't stop trust me, this is ridiculous, all right, anyone who feels like I'm famous, you're having a weird feeling you shouldn't be having. Maybe

Laura 57:33
not famous, but like very well known or recognized, yeah,

Scott Benner 57:37
any of those things are ridiculous. Trust me, I'm just at the grocery store. That is just me. I'm just I go to the grocery store, grocery store, I come back again. I make the podcast. I go to sleep in between, I pay some bills sometimes. And I look at a lot of emails like, I appreciate that you guys email, but there's so many emails, just so you're doing your best. There's so many. Oh, and the marketing stuff is crazy. Just, yeah, I can imagine insane amount of people who want to be like, they want a piece of it. They want their thing on it. They want to it's just, it's never ending. And, like, some of it's cool, like, you know, I'm already with some of it, but, like, I'm looking at this email right now,

Laura 58:18
like, what is this? Can you hire somebody to help you with that. I

Scott Benner 58:22
mean, if I had money, I guess I could be

Laura 58:25
all you said you could buy whatever you wanted. Yeah. I

Scott Benner 58:27
mean, that people, you know, what I've learned is that when you hire people to things they want to be paid like a really fair wage, which, I mean, is understandable, but, you know, limiting for me in the situation I'm in. I mean, I'll tell you the truth, like I'm in a very weird spot this, this podcast is in, sits right in the 97th percentile of all podcasts like, I mean, every active podcast, I do better than 97% of them by downloads. That's crazy, as insane as it sounds, I would never be able to get to the 99th or 100% those are like outliers. They're like super famous people. They're like the Kelsey brothers and Joe Rogan and stuff like that, right? Like, there's, yeah, there's no chance you're getting there. I have an outside chance to get to the 98th percentile. That would actually set me up to be able to do more like that. Really, I sit at a precipice.

Laura 59:21
Wait so that that small change in percentage changes a lot of like, your capabilities, financially,

Scott Benner 59:27
it would change a lot of capability, really, yeah, but the leap from 97 to 98 is next to impossible. I can't seem to make it interesting, yeah, which is why I was talking to a to a PR professional, yeah, because, because, if I'm going to take a shot at it, like, now is that now is the time that's very interesting, yeah, like, so think of me right now as a really talented college athlete who needs a trainer to get drafted. Okay, that's kind of where I'm at. I could stay here forever. This would be, this is very, very. Are you comfortable it makes enough money to like that I can do it as my job, which is awesome. Like, if I made that last leap, I would hire a staff to do a number of different things. I would, I'd love to have people doing more community, like, not moderation, but just being there, helping people like, yeah, their job to be in the community, like, answering questions, because there's people who do it, as, you know, just helpers, which is awesome. But I'd love to be able to take a few of those people and say, Hey, listen, I could make this a part time job for you. Would you be interested in that? Yeah, I'd love to be able to compensate my editor better. I'd love to be able to, you know, do a number of things, buy ads that would help the podcast grow. But those things all, like, the amount of money that the like, that stuff I just mentioned, just hiring people part time, and paying somebody a little better, and buying ads, you're probably talking about a couple of $100,000 a year. Yeah, adds up quick, yeah. And you're talking about, like, having more of a business structure behind me to, like, now you're paying people and, you know, yeah, it's just, yeah, it's a whole, like, I don't have time for that. Yeah. No, that makes sense, yeah, so, but that little leap would do that. But that leap is it's crazy. Like, to get from 97 to 98 I'd probably have to double my listenership.

Laura 1:01:17
Wow. I didn't realize that it's still

Scott Benner 1:01:20
a podcast, right? Like, so for everybody who's listening today, who's like, This podcast is awesome. I love it. I'm gonna listen to it forever. Nine months from now, they'll be like, I only listen to one a week now, or I like, you know, like, like it. And that's fine. And new people come in. It's the expectation of how it works, right? But I just need one viral moment, and then I could live in that space instead of the space I'm living in, yeah, yeah. And as crazy as it sounds, COVID probably got me to where I am now. I

Laura 1:01:48
can totally see that, yeah, but let's not waste another COVID,

Scott Benner 1:01:52
yeah? So aside from the fact that I don't want that to happen again, yeah, I just need one of those, like, but that doesn't happen for regular people, yeah, like using the kelseys podcast as an example. I want to say I'm a Philadelphia Eagles lifetime fan. I think Jason Kelsey is, like one of my favorite players ever. Their podcast isn't very good, but I've never listened to it. Well, listen, I like them and all, but it's not an hour sit for me. Yeah, I love them, and I love what they're talking about, and I kind of can't get through it, but they had a moment, right? Travis starts to date Taylor Swift, and they leapt, yeah, and now they live in the leap, right? And so you're famous, something like that can happen. Nothing's gonna happen where I'm gonna leap like that,

Laura 1:02:41
yeah. Well, not that it's not going to happen. You still don't know what it is. Well, that's

Scott Benner 1:02:45
very thoughtful and hopeful of you. I've been making this for 11 years now. You think you could possibly get going because

Laura 1:02:51
you just said COVID helped you. So you never know what's going to come about. COVID

Scott Benner 1:02:56
helped because everybody was at home and they were just like, I don't know what to do. I might as well learn about my diabetes, yeah. And I retained that level, that leap level, yeah. And before that, I was on a constant build, like the pockets just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, and every year, then COVID happened. And if I'm being honest, I can let the cat out of the bag. Now, most people making podcasts, I think, initially thought, oh, nobody's in their car anymore. They won't need my podcast. And I thought, nobody's got anything to do. They need more podcasts, yeah. And so I doubled down when everybody else laid back, yeah. And so I left there. That was nice, and that put me about where I am now, and I get a ton of new listeners all the time. The way the charts work, the charts are mostly like you would think that you chart by download, but you chart by download and by new listeners. Interesting. So I'm constantly at the top of my chart because I'm constantly adding new listeners, but I don't add them two for one. So I probably add as many as I eventually lose. Yeah, and because people there are, for every person who comes on and wants to hear a conversation with you, half of them really just want to hear the Pro Tip series and and then get the out and go back to their lives. You know what I mean, which is, all, listen, it's cool. It's whatever people want is awesome, but I don't have a three for one transfer. I probably go from like two to one back to One to One, two to one back to One to One. And that's what keeps me here, which is awesome. I'm not complaining about that, but it's, it's what stops me from leaping What

Laura 1:04:36
about like, interviewing other people in the same area as you like, but other well known diabetes influencers, because they

Scott Benner 1:04:46
Yeah, but yeah, but I don't want to be cruel, Laura, but I see why they would want me on their thing. But what do I get from them being on my thing? I mean,

Laura 1:04:55
they bring a whole other. I mean, not a whole other on. Audience, but they bring other audiences.

Scott Benner 1:05:01
They're not talking to many people the way you think they are. Okay, you know more than me, yeah, um, it's almost back to what you said about like everybody's having a baby. Yeah? It feels to you like everybody's having a baby because seven year friends put up baby pictures. Yeah, you can go online and look like one thing, but it not necessarily be exactly what's happening. So there are people who do a good job of looking popular, but they don't actually drive people. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. The way I've put it in the past is that you can dress up a podcast like a storefront window, and when you're walking down the street, it could catch your eye, and it could be awesome. And then you open the door and realize there's nothing in here, yeah,

Laura 1:05:49
but it still looks awesome. Yeah, no, no, that that makes sense.

Scott Benner 1:05:53
Yeah. I'm not good at social media, so I don't look awesome. But when you step inside, there's a lot of people in there, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what would end up happening, probably, is that I would spend a lot of time doing other content that no one would see, yeah, and then I just don't have time for that. Not that I wouldn't like just do it for fun or anything like that. But if you're looking at it just specifically from numbers, I don't think, as a friend of mine would say, the juice would be worth the squeeze. Yeah? So yeah, sucks. I wish they could, but it just also, if you take a longer view of it, over the last five years, comedians started a lot of podcasts, yeah, and they did that thing. We'll all be on each other's podcasts, but all they did was burn out the whole genre. Really, do you listen to seven different comedians podcasts? No, I listen to one, right? Which one armchair? Okay? Expert, so is it the one you started with? Yeah, yeah. And then he drags a bunch of people in to try to give them some like sunshine, and that doesn't work for them, yeah? Does work for him, though, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. So I would end up being the guy going on armchair and not getting anything out of it if I did that. Yeah, nothing works the way you think it does. Yeah, no, that's fair. Yeah, it's it's really, really, it's just a lot of work.

Laura 1:07:14
What? So what you're saying is I don't have the answer to all your problems.

Scott Benner 1:07:17
No one does. What I'm saying is I don't actually have a problem, yeah. I have a desire, yeah, yeah. And so I work towards it, but so far, I have not found anything that just springboards you to that next space, yeah, and maybe this is where I belong, which would be awesome. Seriously, I pulled the list up while you were talking and I am, you know, 20 spaces from the top of my category, and ahead of me are people who are famous, have run for president and or mostly been on Joe Rogan a number of times, and that's where they got Their popularity from. That's crazy, yeah, like, so that's how a lot of these people pump up their thing. They get that one time bump. They get on Rogan somehow, which is not a thing. I'm not saying that's what I'm trying to do or not do. I'm just saying, like, they get on a big thing, they get a ton of new listeners. That leaps them up, and then the fact that their podcast is good, keeps them there to leap again. I would need somebody with a much larger reach than I have, and in this space, that's me.

Laura 1:08:31
So what about someone famous that's not in the diabetes

Scott Benner 1:08:35
space? Why would they want to talk to me? I don't know because,

Laura 1:08:40
because you are, you are also a well known podcaster.

Scott Benner 1:08:44
But what did they get out of it? That's how they're gonna look at it. Yeah,

Laura 1:08:47
but you in doing that, you also expose their name to a whole other.

Scott Benner 1:08:53
I know that's how it feels, but that's not how they that's not how it works. Now, they're the gatekeepers. Now not You're not the gate you're not gatekeeping for them. They're gatekeeping for you. And the way you get on one of those shows is to know somebody. I don't have that. And trust me, I've gone that route a number of times. Like I've talked to people who know people and tried to like and it's just never, sort of, it doesn't go anywhere. It's not sexy. I don't have abs. I'm not 25 I'm not pretty. You know what I mean. Like, none of that's gonna work out for me. Like, that's not what they they need content that keeps their thing strong. They're not looking to help me. If I get helped along the way, they'd be okay with that, but I'd have to help them first. And this is really sad,

Laura 1:09:34
but this is what this is. No, I mean that, yeah, that makes sense.

Scott Benner 1:09:37
Like, people say, oh, you know, you should add video to it. It's not the answer. It's a different like YouTube views are bullshit. They don't actually do anything like you don't think people really sit down and watch hour long YouTube videos all day. Do you some people do? Yeah, those aren't the people that advertisers are looking for. You know what I mean? So sure. That's the other side. Side of all this, which is, I would love to just make the podcast, but I also have, like, an electric bill and things like that, yeah? So that's true, yeah? So like, the podcast has to be popular enough for advertisers to want to be on it. That really is 60% of my day. Wow, that's a lot. Is making advertisers happy so that I can continue to have a conversation with you about something like this, so you know what the real answer is here, what one of y'all has got to be rich enough been so bored with your money that you just call me up and say, how much to run this thing for the next 10 years? Let me just write you a check. Then I set it up, and we go help people with diabetes, and we don't have to worry about advertising anymore. We don't have to worry about social media. We don't have to worry about all that, and then it's just out there for people to use. But that's never gonna happen either.

Laura 1:10:51
So yeah, I wish I could be that person, but I am not. I heard your story.

Scott Benner 1:10:55
It isn't you, so no, it's not me. All right, you're awesome. I really do appreciate you doing this. You let me talk a lot today, which is nice, because I haven't talked to anybody in like, a week. So there you go. You're welcome. I got it all out here on you. Great. All right, so we're just gonna call this Laura's lore, right? Because, you know, yeah, I'm not following Well, no, well, because lore, right? Like stories, stuff that gets passed down to people. Oh, sure, sure, sure, yeah. So this could be the lore of Laura. This could be Laura's lore, Laura lore. I'll find something in there. Yeah, you think on that. Shut up, leave me alone. All right, hold on a second.

Thanks for tuning in today, and thanks to Medtronic diabetes for sponsoring this episode. We've been talking about Medtronic mini med 780 G system today, an automated insulin delivery system that helps make diabetes management easier day and night, whether it's their meal detection technology or the Medtronic extended infusion set, it all comes together to simplify life with diabetes. Go find out more at my link, Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox. Are you tired of getting a rash from your CGM adhesive? Give the Eversense 365 a try, ever since cgm.com/juicebox, beautiful silicon that they use. It changes every day, keeps it fresh. Not only that, you only have to change the sensor once a year. So, I mean, that's better, okay. Well, here we are at the end of the episode. You're still with me. Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Well, why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review? Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribed in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me, or Instagram. Tik, Tok. Oh gosh, here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page you don't want to miss. Please do not know about the private group. You have to join the private group as of this recording, it has 51,000 members in it. They're active, talking about diabetes, whatever you need to know. There's a conversation happening in there right now, and I'm there all the time. Tag me. I'll say hi. The Diabetes variables series from the Juicebox Podcast goes over all the little things that affect your diabetes that you might not think about, travel and exercise to hydration and even trampolines. Juicebox podcast.com go up in the menu and click on diabetes variables. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong way recording.com, you.

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