Interview: University of Alabama Catcher and Type I Diabetic, Molly Fichtner
I asked Molly if there is one trait that everyone who makes it as far as she has possesses, and after some consideration she answered, “Shear determination”.
University of Alabama’s catcher Molly Fichtner is someone whose story needs to be told for a number of reasons. You may be interested in hearing about a young woman who has been working at her sport since childhood, others will want to know how a type I diabetic balances playing at the very top of a grueling hot weather sport with the insulin and carbohydrates that are required for her to live. I think that many who read this will be impressed at how Molly left UT-San Antonio so that she could chase a dream.
Though these are all good reasons to Interview Molly, none are why I tracked her down. I wanted to speak with Molly because she possess a will to succeed that is not often seen.
Molly began her journey to the 2014 NCAA Woman’s College World Series by playing Little League baseball with the boys and she said that she, “threw a fit” when her parents told her that she needed to switch to softball. Seems like her parents knew what they were talking about…
Molly really dove headfirst into softball when she was twelve years old. At that time she was playing on an 18u team (18 years old and under) and found herself asking her dad to hit her ground balls even after she would arrived home from day long summer practices, “that’s when my parents began to understand how much I wanted it”. Molly continued to work hard into high school, “I think I started peaking between my freshman and sophomore year and I thought, hey I could play in college”. She hit the gym, adding strength to her 5’ 2” frame and power to her swing, “I like being the underdog, I am 5’ 2” but my goal was to play like I was six feet tall”.
The winter after Molly first played with the older girls, at age twelve, she was diagnosed with type I diabetes during her Christmas break, Molly lost over ten pounds in a month and experienced other tell-tale signs of type I diabetes; like frequent urination, an insatiable thirst and generally feeling terrible. Those symptoms prompted Molly’s grandmother (a type 2 diabetic) to suggest that the family use her blood glucose meter on Molly. That’s the first time anyone would strike a hole in Molly’s finger to test her blood, her blood sugar was so high on Christmas Day that her grandmother’s meter couldn’t offer a number, it only said, “HI”.
Today Molly has a plan for handling every aspect of her type I diabetes in her life and when she plays softball. Her trainers test her blood sugar every thirty minutes during games and practices. She told me that regimen works the best for her but noted that during particularly intense games her adrenaline can spike, sending her blood glucose value climbing. She also knows that her blood sugar tends to get low after night games and so she makes adjustments to her food and insulin that help avoid them. Type I diabetes is certainly a challenge, it’s impact on the body can not be denied but, Molly doesn’t let that get in her way in her daily life and it didn’t stop her from becoming UT-San Antonio’s catcher.
In two years at UT-San Antonio Molly started in over one hundred games, she was receiving accolades and having success, “but I didn’t feel like I was being pushed to see how far I could actually go”. Her parents sat Molly down and asked if she wanted to transfer. “It wasn’t about the playing, it wasn’t about anything (softball related), it was about having the experience”.
Follow Molly on Twitter.
What Molly told me next is where her story lies. “When I arrived at Alabama I didn’t even know if I was going to play and it didn’t matter to me”. What Molly wanted was a chance to push herself, she wanted to be surrounded by the best to see if she could measure up, to have the opportunity to learn from the best; she wanted more and somehow at the age of twenty had the courage to give up a sure thing to get the chance to breath rarified air. I tried to tell Molly that I thought that what she did was incredibly brave but I don’t think that she saw it that way and after talking to her for a little longer, I started to see why. I think Molly just didn’t want to stop growing. What I saw initially as bravery, I soon began to think of as perspective. I told Molly that many of the people that I’ve met who have type I diabetes seem to have a very clear perspective on life and that I thought that clarity comes partially from living with a chronic illness.
During her freshman year at UT-San Antonio Molly played in a tournament against the Crimson Tide. “I got to see them firsthand. I looked at the players; the camaraderie… there was something different about the program. I was catching so I could hear them in their dugout”. That day Molly went 2 for 2 with two home runs and she threw out one of Alabama’s fastest runners trying to steal. She thinks that her performance in that game helped her when she called Coach Murphy to inquire about playing for the Crimson Tide.
Before Molly could make the call to Tuscaloosa, she had to ask UT-San Antonio to release her because NCAA rules prohibit players and schools from talking about such things while they are signed with another institution. She had to be released from the UTSA Softball Program and cleared by the NCAA prior to contacting Coach Murphy.
You can see why I thought Molly was brave; she told me that she was scared when she asked for her release, “They pulled my scholarship right away… I had no where to go”. Molly gave up a full scholarship and guaranteed playing time to have the chance to find out what she was made of. Molly Fichtner is a person who understands that life is more than just succeeding, it’s about being motivated and fearless, life is about wondering what you don’t know and having the audacity to try and find out.
I asked Molly if there is one trait that everyone who makes it as far as she has possesses, and after some consideration she answered, “Shear determination”.
Her advice to kids who have aspirations of playing at a higher level was simple but profound. “A lot of kids, when they think they’re good - they stop working. The determination to be the best you can be and to keep working and to not be satisfied, that’s what’s going to separate you in the long run. Be determined to take your ability as far as it can go”.
Last week Alabama fell short of winning the Woman’s College World Series in Molly’s senior year, losing to Florida in the championship round, but when she spoke about the experience all I heard was a positive attitude. She talked about wanting to have an impact on kids playing softball and being a part of helping them to fulfill their dreams through coaching by getting her Master’s Degree and continuing to try to find the parts of herself that have yet to be challenged.
I described to Molly that I often tell my children, who both play competitive baseball and softball respectively, that I don’t care about the end result... I care about how they do what they're doing.
Molly interjected, “At Alabama we call that process over outcome”.
I think that phrase perfectly describes Molly’s life and her success. In fact, I can’t think of a better message for people living with diabetes, children who dream of playing a sport on the world’s stage or the little girls who will grow up to be the next generation of woman; so I’m going to stop writing - even though I could go on all day about how impressed I was with Molly Fichtner.
Listen to Molly on the Juicebox Podcast
Living Between the (Diabetes) Lines
Three questions that every person living with diabetes asks themselves...
How high is too high? How low is too low? How do I find the balance between long-term complications and having a seizure.
Each of us has been given a range to aspire to. When Arden was first diagnosed, the doctor told us that we should be trying to keep her blood glucose value between 110 and 200 - "let's try to keep her A1C under 8.5", they said.
And so that became my goal.
Then one day they told us that we should lower the high range value to 190, at our next visit we agreed to try 185. The low range number was never touched. I understood what was happening even though it was never articulated to me, our BG goals were adjusting based on the vibe that our Endo got from us at each visit. She was evaluating our ability to handle spikes, lows, meals and overnights. I was being lovingly manipulated.
Then one day we discovered CGM technology and that little screen gave me something that I never had before, a visual representation of our goal. Now there was a line that I was trying not to cross. In the past when our goal was 190, 210 didn't seem like a huge miss and on the low end... even though we were trying for 120, 100 seemed so perfect that we didn't mind being a little low; besides many people, who don't have diabetes, regularly have a BG of 85 - of course they don't have man-made insulin in their system that doesn't know when to stop removing sugar from their blood.
I was living between the lines but I think the lines were holding me back...
I say holding me back because Arden's BGs were, for the most part, existing between them. I'm not talking about unforeseen spikes or unexpected lows. Highs and lows happen, you correct and move on, but you don't let them impact your impression of the graph. A few blips don't discount the rest of the day. Look at how the BGs are when you are blousing correctly, counting carbs accurately, when your basal rate is properly set. In those hours I was content if the graph line was mostly stable and in between 180 and 120.
It took me quite some time to figure this fact out, but the comfort that I felt when we achieved BGs that were between those lines, was holding me back from trying to do better. I had been lulled into a state of acceptance.
The lines were also providing a false sense of security. Even though they were arbitrarily set by a person that I only see four times a year, I was treating them like gospel. Finally I wondered, "if I can successfully keep a BG under 180 why could't I keep it under 170? Hell, why couldn't I shoot for 140?".
So I moved the line and do you know what happened?
I kept her BG under 160. Then I got brave and moved her low threshold to 100. Today, Arden's low alert sounds at 85 and her high is set at 160, but this summer I'm going to move that to 150.
All of this doesn't work if you punish yourself for going outside of the lines. I am telling you, do not do this if you can't handle seeing the graph climb above, or below those lines - don't add stress to your already stressful day. Before you attempt to move the lines you must find peace with being on the other side of them, you have to come to grips with the idea that nothing in life is controllable to that degree. Here's how I found my peace with that truth.
I was happy if Arden's BG was 180 all day because someone told me that number was okay. Her BG still spiked, it still got low but for most hours of each day her BG was 180. Today, most hours of the day come with a BG of around 140. She still has spikes and still gets low but most hours are spent in our new range. It took me a while, but now I can see, there is no difference in how I manage or what I do; the only thing that has changed is my expectations and the way that I react to them.
When I expected 180, I got 180. When I expect 140, I get 140. I'm learning to except 90... one day I'll learn to expect it.
When you're ready, move those lines... the ones on your CGM or in your log book, and the ones in your mind and heart. Expect what you want, except what you achieve and never stop moving the lines that life sets. Define your own reality.
Don't forget to read my disclaimer, I am not a medical professional and I am not dispensing advice... just telling stories on the Internets, the WWW, the information highway - you get what I'm saying. Please also don't forget that high and low ranges are never one-size-fits all. While Arden feels fine when her BG is 85, you or your child may not.
Ganémosle la carrera a la diabetes (Lets Beat Diabetes Race)
I'll be speaking in Santo Domingo, D.N. this weekend at the Ganémosle la carrera a la diabetes.
One goal, inspire and support people living with diabetes! @DOCIRL
Sing For Nicole
The world lost a beautiful person when Nicole Wilson passed away from complications of her type I diabetes at the tender age of fifteen.
Nicole Wilson
Type I diabetes first appeared in the Wilson’s lives when Nicole was diagnosed at the age of two. The burden that type I brings to people and their loved ones is largely invisible to the outside world. It’s one of those things in life that defies explanation; you really can’t appreciate the unrelenting nature of acting as your own pancreas, twenty-four hours a day for the rest of your life, until you are forced to do it.
I learned about Nicole when a tweet that her sister Kelly sent went viral. Their parents, Chris and Deirdre, had the idea to contact Nicole’s favorite band, One Direction, to ask them if they would dedicate a song to Nicole at an upcoming concert held at the Dallas Cowboys stadium.
@OneDirection my sister was your biggest fan, she passed away the other night in her sleep due to complications of diabetes. For her bday we were supposed to attend the concert in Dallas. We had such amazing seats and she was so happy to see yall. Can you all do something special for her at the concert. Her fave song was Story of My Life, and that will be playing in her funeral video. #SingForNicole
I immediately found myself wanting to help the Wilson’s spread the word about Sing For Nicole, their story touched me greatly, as a parent, a diabetes advocate and the father of a little girl who was also diagnosed with type I diabetes at the age of two. I spoke with Kelly Wilson about her sister, type I, Camp Sweeney, #SingForNicole and the advocacy that is helping her family to cope with their loss.
Kelly told me that she wants to become a nurse; she found her passion for healthcare while attending diabetes camp with her sister. Camp Sweeney located in Whitesboro Texas, was Nicole’s home away from home for the last nine summers. A wonderful retreat where children living with type I can learn about their disease, experience the embrace of community and just be kids.
When Kelly first tweeted #SingForNicole she was just trying to help her parents by keeping Nicole’s beautiful energy in the world. Social media had different plans for her tweet. In no time #SingForNicole went viral nationwide and when it did, the Wilson’s goal began to grow.
They decided to try and raise three thousand dollars to send a child to Camp Sweeney as a way to help others and raise awareness. To date, they’ve raised over thirty-five thousand dollars, started a charity and are well on their way to creating a beautiful tribute to Nicole that will benefit children for years to come.
Kelly hopes that people will remember her sister’s smile, that she was the embodiment of boundless energy, a pure spirit who never let type I diabetes stop her from living her life to the fullest.
I hope that One Direction will take the stage later this summer at AT&T Stadium and Nicole’s favorite member; Niall Horan will step to the mic and dedicate her favorite song, ‘Story Of My Life’, to Nicole. I hope that the crowd chants “Sing for Nicole” and I’d love to see endless tweets adorned with the hashtag that was typed by her sister, as her family tried to imagine how to bring sense and meaning to the loss of their little girl.
Nicole wore this banana costume on Friday's at school while she made the morning announcements. 'Fruity Fridays' helped to promoted healthy snacks.
Please consider supporting the Wilson’s journey by helping them to send deserving children in need to Camp Sweeney. Be part of keeping the story of Nicole’s life trending, because when you do you’ll be supporting people everywhere who live each day with the uncertainty that type I diabetes brings.
Donate, tweet… sing for Nicole.
Sing For Nicole
Go Fund Me - Camp Sweeney
Camp Sweeney
Follow Kelly on Twitter - @KellyWilsonnn
#SingForNicole
One Direction on Twitter
Image from People.com
The Band - @OneDirection
Niall Horan - @NiallOfficial
Harry Styles - @Harry_Styles
Liam Payne - @Real_Liam_Payne
Louis Tomlinson - @ Louis_Tomlinson
Zayn Malik - @ZaynMalik
Rainy Days and Mondays have nothing on Diabetes
The topic for day three of Diabetes Blog Week is 'What Brings Me Down'...
Check out all of the entires for Diabetes Blog Week
My 'What brings me down' post is based on the last twenty-four hours...
It brings me down when diabetes causes the rest of my life to get put on hold...
It brings me down to have to call the parent of one of Arden's friends to explain diabetes...
It brings me down when they don't seem to understand...
It brings me down when I find myself speaking, about the things that person will need to do if Arden is to attend an event, in an apologetic tone...
It brings me down when I realize that the weight of my message wasn't felt...
These things bring me down because it is completely understandable that a diabetes novice wouldn't understand.
It brings me down that Arden's diabetes technology always seems to provide a let down in these situations...
It brings me down when a pump site fails at the most inopportune moment...
It brings me down that the time I was trying to spend with my son got cut short because of the site change...
It brings me down when I have to change a pump in a car...
It brings me down when I have to inject because the pump site failed...
It brings me down that it feels like every time a DexCom sensor fails to keep up with Arden's BG, it's during a moment like this...
It brings me down when I think I'm fighting with a stubborn 200 BG and it's really 430...
It brings me down when Arden doesn't feel well because of that 430...
It brings me down that in the middle of writing this I'm texting with Arden about a rising BG...
It brings me down when Arden feels sick from her BG while she is trying to play softball...
It brings me down when my wife texts me to say that she seems to be struggling because of it...
It brought me down that I wasn't there...
It brought me down when it took me too long to mentally get back to my son...
It brings me down when my wife called me as I was coming home to tell me about a bad BG incident that happened while I was cheering at a baseball game...
It brings me down when Arden is unsafe...
It brings me down when her BG drops so fast...
It brings me down when I look in my wife's eyes as see tells me about it later...
It brings me down to see my family sad...
It makes me happy to write about it here.
Because today is a new day.
Because everyone is fine.
and will be fine.
It's makes me happy to tell you that this was just a bad day, just an unlucky collection of coincidences...
Diabetes can bring you down sometimes but there is no rule about how long you have to stay down. In many ways living with diabetes is like the graph on your CGM screen. Steady mostly, with down and up moments. Some highs last longer than others, some lows hit you hard and some come and go. I guess that most everything in life could be described with those words.
#DBlogWeek