This Picture Makes Me Smile
Do you see Arden in the middle of the purple glowing smoke, the one wearing the hat. Arden danced the night away on Saturday during her first Bar Mitzvah without a care in the world. I just wanted to take a second to tell everyone how grateful my family is for the technology that makes moments like this better. Without Arden's DexCom G4 I would have interrupted her fun countless times during the evening. Each time taking her from the moment and drawing attention to her diabetes. Instead, we were able to monitor her post meal BGs from across the room and when she did require a bolus of insulin, I never took her OmniPod PDM out of my pocket.
Wireless. Tubleless. Goodness.
Knowing that Arden was safe, carefree and completely unencumbered by diabetes while she danced is a feeling that may be lost on other parents, but I think that every parent of a child with type I will look at his photo and smile along with me. As a father, I found this moment to be completely joyous - nothing beats seeing my kids live without limits.
Have a great week!
Scott
GiveAway: Signed copy of my new book.
Hello and welcome to my super blatant attempt to get you to share the news about my new book, 'Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal'. Let's not mix words, I need your help getting the word out and I am giving away some of my personal stash of signed books in trade - sound fair?
I like to keep giveaways simple so how about you post on FaceBook, Twitter or Pinterest something like, "I can't wait to read Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal - http://bit.ly/AdLIS" and then leave a comment under this post telling me where you shared, something like this, "I want to win and I posted on FaceBook". Just make sure to include this link http://bit.ly/AdLIS when you post - it points to a book info page on Arden's Day, not to any retailer.
If by some chance there is more than, let's say, 50 20 entries, I'll giveaway another book. If we reach 100 60 entries, I'll add a third book and so on until my supply runs low, the contest gets boring or I get scolded by my publisher for giving away books.
Arden will draw a winner randomly from a hat, I'll contact you so you can choose how you'd like the book signed (nothing too dirty) and then personally mail you your book. Perhaps the lucky winner(s) will consider writing a short book review that I can post here on Arden's Day, maybe send a picture of you and your book?
As with any contest, please only enter once per book, one entry per person and let's say I reserve the right to make this up as we go along.
Contest is closed. Winner will be announced tomorrow. 4/23/13 8:30pm
The winner has been chosen!
Please contact me at ardensday@me.com to make shipping arrangements. Congratulations!
Hoping vs Living
I want type I diabetes to be cured. I hope in my heart that it happens in time to benefit Arden, but I do not spend time hoping for a cure. I try not to confuse hoping with hope, though it's difficult on some days not to.
This morning while I was doing maintenance on Arden's Day, I noticed that a Google user found my blog by searching the phrase, "how close is a cure for type 1 diabetes" and my heart ached for them.
If you are that person, or more likely, if you are a person who has diabetes or loves someone who has diabetes...
Please know that I have felt like that too. I've wondered in my mind, cried out loud and franticly searched the internet for the answer to the only riddle that matters. I think that it is immensely normal to hope and thoroughly human to fight for that hope to become your reality. I relate to the feeling that would lead you to a web browser. I know how difficult it was to type your query.
You are not alone. I understand. I know what it feels like to want to blur the line between hope and the grand amount of fortitude that is required from you every day - I know that you need a break. The only advice that I can lend with confidence is the advice that works for me. Don't give up. There is nothing worse than giving up. Fight. Try to be hopeful without hoping. Be strong when you are anything but. How do you do that? You don't give up. When that doesn't work... when you drift away from reality and hoping seems like a great place to escape to for a little while... Find someone who understands, let them lend you the strength that you need.
There is an entire community of diabetes advocates online that understands how you feel. Find them. They are on Twitter, FaceBook, they write blogs - find them.
Another great place to meet people is on the DSMA twitter chat that happens every Wednesday night at 9pm EST. It's run by a wonderful woman named Cherise and is a great place to meet other people just like you. Learn more about DSMA at this link.
We don't live with diabetes, diabetes lives with us. We have the power. On the days that it feels otherwise, find someone who understands because nothing is more powerful or more renewing than community.
Thank You!
Thank you...
... for supporting me over the last year while I wrote my book.
... for reading the book.
... for considering reading the book.
... for the wonderful reviews.
... for telling a friend.
... for your touching words of encouragement.
... for the emails, tweets and FaceBook messages.
... for putting up with the blog turning into an infomercial this week.
... for laughing while you read.
... for crying along with me (If you cried when you read it, be sure that I cried while I wrote it).
... for helping to make me a published author.
... for reading Arden's Day.
Next week when you see a new post it won't include the words life, laundry, short, eternal, confessions, dad, stay - I promise. But for this week...
Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad is my first book. Its on sale now everywhere that books are sold in paperback and on your favorite eBook formats.
You can buy it today on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, Amazon Canada, Amazon UK, IndieBound and more.
If you've read Life Is Short and enjoyed it, I hope that you consider writing a review at one of the online sellers listed above. And please share your experience with a friend (or twenty).
So that's pretty much it. The links will stay on Arden's Day, reader pictures will continue to scroll on the sidebar, and from time-to-time I'll share book information and reviews on the main page. All ongoing book information will be posted on the FaceBook page that exists for the book or on this sub page of Arden's Day.
This has been one of the most stunning and fulfilling years of my life and there is still lots more to come...
Thank you for everything!
Scott Benner
Excerpts from Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal
"The cold was remarkably piercing. I found myself hoping that we would get through security quickly so that perhaps the excitement of the day would provide us with some artificial warmth as we waited at our seats for the festivities to begin. Politics aside, I was very excited for Cole to be present at such a historic occasion for our country. Of the millions of gatherers in attendance, I only saw maybe a handful of children Cole’s age. I felt very strongly that this day could create a lasting memory for Cole and that he would leave the Capitol with a story that few other people his age would ever be able to claim. That’s how I felt at 7:30, anyway.At half past noon, I wasn’t so hopeful. Making it past the security gate now seemed unlikely. We had traveled baby step by baby step for the last five hours, and even though we could now see the gate, it still looked to be farther away than we could traverse in thirty minutes. I began to feel sad. I had gotten Cole so close to this, and he was going to leave completely disillusioned and unfulfilled. I began to ask myself why I hadn’t left earlier in the morning; should I have been less cattle-like in my acceptance of the line; what could I have done to secure a better outcome for us? I felt like I should have tried something different. We trudged along with a defeated look on our faces, and I began to talk to Cole about managing our expectations, wanting to ready him for the letdown that seemed to be just around the bend."
This small example is from chapter 2, 'What Is a Family'.
"My father abandoned our family and my parents divorced when I was thirteen years old, but I never once considered that the man who walked out on us was anything but my father. Long after he had passed on, his departure remains one of the most devastating moments of my life. After he left, I would often in the middle of the night stand in our second-floor bathroom and look out on the road that led to our house. Even though I knew he wasn’t coming back, I’d allow myself to feel excited when the lights from a random car brightened the street. In the brief moments between seeing the headlights and watching the car drive past our house, I’d imagine what our lives would be like again if he’d only change his mind and come home. Other nights, I’d sneak down to the living room and pull out the family portrait that my mom had taken down and stuffed into the back of a coat closet. It was in a big frame, and I’d sit with it on the couch until I felt better."
Lastly, chapter 22, the night Arden was diagnosed with type I diabetes. 'Her Breath Smells Funny'.
"It was sometime around three thirty in the morning when a man we had never met before told my wife and me that our daughter had type 1 diabetes and that “her life would never be the same.” I’ve always been thankful that Arden was sleeping when we heard the news because I couldn’t stop crying. I would have been even more devastated if I had cried in front of her. They ushered us into a tiny room outside of the ICU. I hesitate to call it a room, actually, because it was a space with a door, just large enough to hold an ugly vinyl loveseat and a small table with an outdated magazine. The nurse told us that they were going to stabilize Arden’s blood glucose and then come and get us. She told us we should rest, but what I think she meant was to get some sleep now because this would be our last opportunity for rest.
Kelly and I sat down, and without saying a word or even making eye contact, we leaned into each other and fell asleep. What I remember clearest about sitting down on that loveseat was that when we leaned on each other I felt something that I had never experienced before in my life. I could feel Kelly’s desperation and grief through her skin, and I was sure that she could feel mine."
Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad is on sale now everywhere that books are sold in paperback and all eReader formats. I hope that you enjoy my confessions!
Chapter Titles:
Laundry Is Indeed Eternal
What Is a Family?
The Path to Parenthood Starts with Sex
The Nine-Month Countdown
I Thought You Were Going to Keep Him Alive?
Quitting My Job Was Like Starting Over
A Typical Day at My Office
To Think I Was Worried About Baby Vomit
I Only Dropped Him Once
A Little Help from My Favorite Books
Lunch with the Lions
I May Be Growing Ovaries
Baseball, Part I
Baseball, Part II
I Remember Having Sex ... and the Baby Proves It!
Could I See You in the Basement for a Minute?
Sleep—Get It Now
Platitudes
There’s No Such Thing as Gender Specific
Two Perfect Years
Life Has a Way of Getting in the Way of Living
Her Breath Smells Funny
The Saddest That I Have Ever Been
Learning About Our New Reality
Writing on the Internet Saved Me
His Last Chapter
Acknowledgments