#793 Bumblebee On A Leash

Julie has ADHD and a child with type 1 diabetes.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 793 of the Juicebox Podcast.

On today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast we'll be speaking with Julie she is the mother of a child with type one diabetes. And Julie has ADHD. This is most of the podcast episode. Besides us being delightful together and saying things that are incredibly entertaining and informative. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan are becoming bold with insulin. As Thanksgiving approaches, please remember that those other podcasts you listen to, they put on rerun, don't play episodes at all, or give you content that they've recorded months ago that they didn't like not Scottie, I don't do that great content all week. leading right up into the new year will will just explode again into 2023 with more of the Juicebox Podcast. If you're thankful for that. Go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box join the registry and fill out the survey. It'll take you about 10 minutes. It will support people living with type one diabetes. It moves diabetes research forward, you can do it from your sofa, and it supports the Juicebox Podcast T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you by ag one from athletic greens. With one scoop of delicious ag one you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, Whole Foods sourced ingredients probiotics and adaptogens to help start your day, right? This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus, and aging. All of these things in just one scoop. Learn more. It gets started today at athletic greens.com forward slash juicebox. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox.

Julie 2:15
I don't know. Okay,

Scott Benner 2:17
you don't know. Do you feel? Are you okay? Are you nervous?

Julie 2:21
I am so unbearably nervous that I just stared at that thing at the bottom of the email like reschedule for like an hour while chugging coffee and taking like just a half a Xanax. No, but I feel I'm good now.

Scott Benner 2:37
Okay. You're being recorded. Is that okay?

Julie 2:42
Yeah, it's fine. I know how your role. Tell me your name. We'll

Scott Benner 2:48
see what's going on.

Julie 2:49
Okay, so my name is Julie. I am a mother to my son, George, who is just about to turn 14, type one diabetes diagnosed January 31 2020. And he was 11 at the time. And I have ADHD, and so does my son. And that's about it. As far as the introduction.

Scott Benner 3:19
I'm making a Venn diagram over here, hold on one second. This one's gonna fill them out that way.

Julie 3:29
I'm sorry, it is also it is gonna go that way. I started to make a little like a thing where I'm like, oh, I should write some stuff down. And so far all I have is don't purse. So

Scott Benner 3:40
can I tell you something that I think might make you feel better? Under pressure of like penalty of death? I don't know that I can exactly describe what a Venn diagram is. I was just,

Julie 3:51
Oh, I know what one is because I've had to learn because like my kids were home for like, two years with the with the COVID.

Scott Benner 3:59
So I guess since you know, it's one of those things where I draw like three circles that kind of overlap a little bit.

Julie 4:06
Yeah, it's two circles. And then the middle is what it what's in common. And then on the one side, I don't even know why we're talking about this. On the one side is like, what's going on here and this circle, the other one is going on this circle and what's in the middle is like what's in common?

Scott Benner 4:22
Okay, we're talking about it because I brought it up and I'm in charge Julie? That's true. Yeah,

Julie 4:27
I said I like that. I like that. Okay, because my brain could go in any direction. You bring up

Scott Benner 4:32
obviously, I'm just trying to take the pressure off of you for a second. So okay, so tell me your son's name again.

Julie 4:38
Next time is George.

Scott Benner 4:40
Are there any other kids or is Georgia

Julie 4:42
are other? There are other kids there is my daughter who is now 11 And she does not have type one as of now.

Scott Benner 4:53
Okay. Are you married?

Julie 4:56
I am okay.

Scott Benner 4:58
You have ADHD? What else you got going on?

Julie 5:02
I have, like mentally I mean, there's a lot going on with me. But no.

Scott Benner 5:13
Because I feel like you started breaking yourself up into into like sections in your mind. You're like, oh,

Julie 5:18
there's there's a lot of sections, but we'll just go with ADHD. And we will go with definitely extreme anxiety. And as far as autoimmune I have vitiligo

Scott Benner 5:35
by the way before you had said anxiety had already written it down, just assuming

Julie 5:40
Yeah, I think in my description, I might have put that down, like at least four times.

Scott Benner 5:44
Yeah, I didn't. I didn't read that. But I was gonna look at it in a little bit. Yeah, don't bother. You're all listening to a podcast where the prep that was done for it was the guy's like, I'll probably read it at some point while she's talking. Okay, okay. Julie. How old are you? 47. George, how we'll search. He will be 14 in about seven days. Okay. How old? Was he? Seven. He was 11. Okay. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Are you ready?

Julie 6:22
Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. All right.

Scott Benner 6:25
Well, he was oh, did you just want to go? You have something?

Julie 6:29
No, no, no, I don't just want to go. Am I going to

Scott Benner 6:33
be fighting with the motor in your brain all day? Yes. Okay. That's okay. Don't worry.

Julie 6:39
I'll explain why later. I don't like explaining why, yeah,

Scott Benner 6:42
we'll get to it. Okay. I almost started with George now I'm gonna start with you. ADHD, how old are you when you realize, like a doctor says, you you have ADHD.

Julie 6:53
I was 25.

Scott Benner 6:56
Somebody that was you your whole life prior to that you just

Julie 6:59
my whole life. But as a girl, or a woman, you know, it presents differently. I think that I was raised at a time in the 70s into the 80s. That was probably they thought I just probably didn't care. I didn't have parents that really pushed me. It created a lot of anxiety. But so like ADHD can just create a lot of anxiety because you don't need to be the way you are. But you just are. And so I was never diagnosed, I really barely thought I was gonna graduate high school, to be totally honest with you. I think they were like, You know what, let's just give it to her. Like, let's just give it a four paragraph.

Scott Benner 7:38
One out, maybe someone will marry her and get her a house.

Julie 7:43
By the way, back in the day, I had had several teachers because you know how they were inappropriate back in the day. But you know, they were like, oh, MySite and because that's my maiden name. You better marry rich, like right in front of the class, or like my science teacher, like, hope you're gonna be able to keep that beautiful smile. Until, you know,

Scott Benner 8:06
give context. Was this the 80s?

Julie 8:10
This was the 80s. Yeah, I was born in 75. So I would say, like I said, all the way up to high school. It really was not, it wasn't a pretty scene.

Scott Benner 8:20
You see, I joke around, I joked around and said, like, you know, we'll let you out of high school. And hopefully some guy will buy your house. But I'm telling you right now, like, that's a joke based in how people thought back then,

Julie 8:31
for sure. Oh, totally. And like said it out loud and didn't get in trouble. No. You can't do that these days. But also, my, my sister is like three years younger than I am. And she was classified and you know, had some things going on. So it's like I just made that cut off before they started, like piecing things together, where they were like, oh, maybe this one needs a little help. I don't know, you know,

Scott Benner 9:00
oh, well, we failed. Julie. Next.

Julie 9:03
Yeah. All right. So let your sister go through but you were gonna give extra help to? Yeah. Okay. So then. So it wasn't until? Just to go back to the original question. My so around 25 My anxiety started, because I had my own apartment and then really add at that point is more like, you have the money but you don't pay the bill. Right? You have the video, old school to return to Blockbuster. And it sits there. But it doesn't get to Blockbuster. You know, I'm like banned from libraries and blockbusters like all over the place. Like this check does not make stuff back. That type of thing. And when I went in there with the anxiety to a psychiatrist, he was like, Hold on before we talk about the anxiety. He's like, just the way you talk. Like, have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD add no ADHD. I'm like now so I took the, you know, tests or whatever. And that was the first time you know,

Scott Benner 9:59
that was my My first experience with the way you talk just meaning wrapping circles jumping around rapidly

Julie 10:06
jumping around, my husband's like, What are you even trying to talk about right now? Like, I don't know, just follow along, it will come to a point at some point.

Scott Benner 10:13
What about keywording? Do you do that? Can you be talking about the Atlantic Ocean? And at some point during it, someone says blue, and then we're talking about the color of your bathroom? Yeah. Okay. All

Julie 10:27
right. Yeah, I do that. And I also just do it to myself. And I also do it when I'm having a like, you know, all start talking about that. And then I'll say a word. And that will trigger a different thought. And then I will go in a different direction. I can do it all by myself. I

Scott Benner 10:42
don't need the rest of us to get out of the earth.

Julie 10:45
Oh, no. And then when I get really real, real chatty, and I'm in a conversation. It's like, it's almost like the person. I think of it as like, maybe you might have said this, but I don't know if it was you, but as somebody, but it was very clever. But like, it's like a tennis serve. It's like they're only talking to like, serve me a ball. You know what I mean? Like, they're saying something like, oh, there it is. I got something to say.

Scott Benner 11:09
Yeah, I can do this with my sister in law. I can just throw out a couple of words, and then just watch her go. It's like, it's like winding up a toy, and then watching it walk into walls? Did that just make me sound girls really? By any chance? Did it?

Julie 11:23
No, it's like, funny. It's like funny, but not funny. Do you know what I mean? Like, it is funny.

Scott Benner 11:28
So now the funny thing when I using my sister in laws and examples, I do believe she knows she's doing it. She just sort of can't stop herself. Does that make you feel that? Like while you're doing it? Are you? Are you like Julie? In your mind? Like stay on topic? Or you're not making sense? Or stop jumping around? Or? Or is it in the moment not aware to you?

Julie 11:53
You know what, I'm not aware, I would say in the moment. But I also not to brag, but I find myself kind of funny. So like, people are going along with me like they're laughing. It's not like, I'm looking I can read body language like if I need to, you know, like I will. So you know what I

Scott Benner 12:14
mean? So you're saying that you think people are laughing with you? Not at you. And so oh my god. Yeah, you're entertaining on top of all that? I think so you believe so? Has anyone ever page.

Julie 12:26
They I have never gotten cash for that.

Scott Benner 12:27
Well, until somebody pays you. I don't know if I can trust your assessment. But I hear what you're saying. And I understand where we're going with this. I'm asking. I'm asking you because I'm also stopping myself from just throwing you up into the air like a sparkler and watching it pop all over the place. Because I'm because I feel like we have such a good time. And yet, the episode would go nowhere. So I tried to stay focused.

Julie 12:55
Don't worry, then just throw it up at the end and see what happens.

Scott Benner 12:57
We'll just lay it all on fire and see what what comes with my real like real question around. And I appreciate you explaining all that and allowing us to make light of it. Because it does seem kind of burdensome and serious. But how does that how does the ADHD first of all, what the hell is the difference between ADHD and ADD? I'll google.

Julie 13:18
Ah, no, no, you don't have to the the so Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. That's more commonly commonly seen in boys. Not always. It's like a combined type sometimes. I don't have the hyperactivity, although, I tend to defer because then you could call hyperactivity in a verbal way, which is also how my son is. So maybe it is ADHD, you know, it's the hyperactive part. You know how some people with ADHD especially as children, they're, they're up, they gotta get out of the seat. They're all over the place. They're very, very impulsive, that kind of stuff. So at 25 That's not what the doctor was diagnosing me with.

Scott Benner 13:58
If I were to tell you right now that you didn't answer the question, do you know that? Oh, do you remember what the question was?

Julie 14:07
Yeah. What's the difference between ATD and ADHD? It's hyperactivity.

Scott Benner 14:11
And so you started when you when you started when you started to define them. You then related the one to it's more often than boys, but then you were like, but not really. And then somehow you got back to yourself. I think you thought about girls, and then you came back to yourself. And then you talked about the hyper part again, and then you related it to your son, but in no way

Julie 14:30
I just talk right out of my brain, and it says not ever really. Yeah, exactly. My husband's advice this morning, he goes, stick to the point, and then get up and let him talk. Like, yeah, well, you know, that's not gonna happen.

Scott Benner 14:43
I don't care. But let's try it again is a focus thing. Oh, tell me what ADHD stands for

Julie 14:51
attention deficit disorder.

Scott Benner 14:53
Okay, more broadly. What does that mean?

Julie 14:59
Difficult He attending to probably specific details in your life, or the way that you may learn or focus, like saying like reading or also sometimes hope hyper focusing. It's a deficit in attention.

Scott Benner 15:18
Okay? Hold on a second. First of all, I have to clear my throat, or this is never gonna go well. I'm just making up this definition. If this tea was any hotter, and it's still yummy, if you hear me yell out any point, it's from the tea, that I'm trying to clear. Webster's right there a reasonable organization that defines things, a developmental disorder that is marked especially by persistent symptoms of inattention, such as distractibility, forgetfulness, disorganization, or by symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity, such as fidgeting, speaking out of turn, or restlessness, or by symptoms of all three that is not caused by any serious underlying physical or mental disorder. Does this define you or no?

Julie 16:06
Oh, pretty much. Yeah.

Scott Benner 16:07
Okay. All right, now. Let's try to figure out what ADHD means. Okay. Do you feel like you know what it is? Or do you want me to check?

Julie 16:19
Um, I just think that there's more of an emphasis on the hyperactivity part. I don't know exactly how they define that. It could be like, physically, you know, like getting up. Like I've seen some children that I've worked with that are very hyperactive.

Scott Benner 16:39
psychiatry.org says, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is one of the most common mental disorders affecting children. ADHD also affects many adults, symptoms of ADHD include inattentive, not being able to keep focused hyperactivity, excessive movement that is not fitting the setting, and impulsivity, hasty acts that occur in the moment without thought and estimated 8.4% of children and 2.5% of adults have ADHD? Well, that's an interesting thing. Because if you start,

Julie 17:08
that's a little bit, not like how I would be, I'm not as impulsive or the movement thing or any of that.

Scott Benner 17:16
Okay, it's more in your mind. Now, in the last three minutes, where we've been focused and serious, has it changed how you feel? No, no. Okay. Because your voice got very serious is that you're? Well, I'm just trying to focus, you're trying to focus. Okay, good. Now, I appreciate you explaining all this. Thank you. All right. So then the anxiety comes from what do you know, failure? How so?

Julie 17:48
You mean, well, you can be perfectly bright, extremely creative. But in a school environment. If you do not know that you have ADHD or ADD, you're going to fail in one way or another, you're going to be embarrassed, probably publicly, I would assume. You couldn't have the best intentions. And you can really think you're doing well. And then all of a sudden, they're like, cool. You did your report. And then you go in your backpack and you're like, Yeah, sure did leave that at home. You know, you've done it and you're just, you're just embarrassed, and it causes just such great. I used to think I had social anxiety. It turns out that's not really the case. I really just believe that it's caused by just repetitive failure without knowing why I say

Scott Benner 18:41
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It's actually interesting because I found myself the other day telling someone that I think that a lot of the pressure that comes from diabetes is because you don't know why things are happening. And so you're trying really hard and you're not getting anywhere close to the result you're looking for. And then there's just such pressure from knowing that you've put so much effort into something and yet it's paying off not at all. And then of course with diabetes, it has health implications. And with you it has personal growth implications. Is that right? Yes, you can't, you can't succeed get a job, people don't take you seriously, I would imagine,

Julie 22:45
I have always been able to get a job. I'm very personable. My jobs are, have been. Let's say they've kind of fallen into my lap. And I actually started working with kids with autism. That was basically handed to me, I didn't even graduate college. And they're like, it doesn't matter. Because four year college students come in here and they've never sat with a child with autism, and they just absolutely don't understand the positive reinforcement, the whole thing. So they're like, We'll train you, I ended up being very, very good at that. A very good with teaching children how to settle down, I think because probably I've experienced a lot of some of these things or how to be social and make eye contact and XYZ. So I also then ditch that whole thing, you know, and then I became an art teacher. I was doing like clay and pottery and teaching adults and children painting and glazing and whatnot.

Scott Benner 23:48
What made an artist I'm going to ask you what made you make that switch in a second. But first, let me just cover for you a little bit. Do you want to look for another adjective other than ditched referring to the autistic kids? Was that was a tough one, actually.

Julie 24:05
Oh my god, delete that. I love children with autism. Like, I fell out of it, I fell out of the I don't recall why. Like, Oh, I lost my I was doing it privately and the child had I was shadowing him and mainstreaming him into a private school. And I think it became too costly for them. They wanted to go back to public where of course you can get your services for you know, that's included. And I kind of was oh, so I was working at this school, this private school, but just for this one family. And then when he went back to his district, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna have to find a new case. That's fine. It's always word of mouth. That's how I got tons of clients and then the school calls one day and they're like, We know you're, you know, you're not working at the moment. Do you want to be a sub for the Montessori class because I also went to Montessori education for a little bit of time and Uh, I said, sure I'll come in, you know, I came in and then the the woman was like, oh my god, the other teacher quit. Would you please please, please work here part time? And I'm like, Well, fine, but I can't be here at 830. I'll come at nine. And then. So I started doing that and I was there for five years. Being a Montessori teacher,

Scott Benner 25:17
what did the kids do between 830 and nine while they were waiting for you?

Julie 25:21
Oh, no, there was three of us. We have three because the main teacher and then the other teacher were there. I just because I had to drop my daughter off at that time.

Scott Benner 25:29
Do you have any feelings for what your co workers how they see you? Have they ever told you? Or is it?

Julie 25:37
Yeah, they like they're both in a new school right now. They just have have really just, they're like, it's not the same without you hear like, positive, positive, all very positive. Even when I would shatter when I worked at a Catholic school for three years. Those teachers were so nervous to have me in their classroom. I'm like, I'm not here to judge you. I'm helping my students. It's all I'm doing. And then by the end of the day, they're like, I don't think that I don't know why teachers don't get someone like you in their classrooms all the time. Like I don't, I don't want to go into next year without having you on my class. I have very, very, very good relationships with everybody that I've worked with.

Scott Benner 26:15
Okay. Well, that's amazing. But you did not finish college. Is that right?

Julie 26:21
I didn't finish any of them.

Scott Benner 26:24
Any of them? Hold on. You graduated from high school. But you believe they passed you through? Because they were like, Oh, get this girl out of here. Right.

Julie 26:34
Let's just put it this way. I know. I didn't pass that last test. They can say what they want, but there's just no way. Yeah. Okay. That was history.

Scott Benner 26:45
Then, you did you try College?

Julie 26:49
Oh, yes. So first, well, first I. So for years, people were like, oh, you should be a model. And I'm like, huh, cool. You know what, that's a nice compliment, whatever. And then when it came to graduating, I was like, Maybe I will try that. So because I don't feel like going back to school yet. So I went to the city got on with an agency did that for like a year, it was a disaster, because you have to have a certain personality that just called like, self confidence. And I have the opposite of that. So that didn't work out. So then I went to where to go next. Then I went to a community college around me. And I was going for a child's like how early childhood education in child psychology, which is really if I thought I wasn't just done, that's what I would have wanted to be maybe a social worker or something like that. And I did that for like a year. And I'm like, I can't do this. You know, it's all the same thing because I hadn't been diagnosed. Yeah, and I just still didn't have any of the skills, honestly.

Scott Benner 27:48
Right. You know, I wondered this whole time how you got somebody to marry you and then you Loki like dropped in I thought about modeling. And I was like I see what's happening now. Okay, I gotcha. Is this what you digitally? Yeah,

Julie 27:59
I'm not I'm no prize, but like, you know, had to have the looks fill in for me back in the day.

Scott Benner 28:03
I am no price. I'm sure. I'm sure that's not true.

Julie 28:08
No, really. But well, organization of the home, let's just start there. That doesn't happen. But anyway. So then I went to Oh, so then I was like, You know what I am? I'm an artist. So but I want to make money. So I'm gonna go in for I went to Parsons School of Design for graphic design and advertising. I don't know why I came up with that. But I stayed there for like, let's say, one semester, you know, like, and then I was like, You know what the problem with this is, I hate computers and technology. So I gotta get out of here. Because I had to drive to the city. And I would get very anxious if I was late. And then I would just leave. If I was even one minute late for

Scott Benner 28:49
the class Parsons, the one in Manhattan or the one in Brooklyn. Manhattan. Okay. All right. The new school. Is that right? Part of that? It's a new school. It's part of that. Yeah, you stay there. How long?

Julie 29:02
Like, one semester, like I loved the color theory. I love the painting part, but

Scott Benner 29:08
you didn't like using the computers and you were there for graphic doesn't know. And

Julie 29:11
I was literally there for that like, because I was too scared. I'm like, how do you turn it on? Like, who could ask that? You know, like, why am I here?

Scott Benner 29:19
So like if you decided not to use it, like if you said to yourself one day I'm gonna go to school to be a pigeon trainer that you got there and said the only real problem with this is these freakin pigeons.

Julie 29:28
Right? Or like, I'm definitely allergic to pigeons or something like that.

Scott Benner 29:31
made me do this. So you so you love the

Julie 29:34
training part. But does it have to be pigeons? Yeah.

Scott Benner 29:37
So prior to that decision, you were not aware that you were not computer oriented.

Julie 29:44
I don't think I thought about that.

Scott Benner 29:45
Okay, okay. That's fine. I'm not judging you. By the way. I'm just these are interesting little tidbits that build the story for us. Total. Okay. So I think we're not going to say but we figured out how you got this. You know, you don't mean like you're not taking the house isn't even clean is what you're saying Julie?

Julie 30:00
Actually, it was clean. But yes, it's clean. It's just I need to I needed to do a lot of spring cleaning. I've done a lot since I started the medication, which is the reason that I think I've been on here right now. But yeah, it's just more of an organizational like a system, you know, people need system to do anything helps

Scott Benner 30:21
you out there. So at what point do you realize I need some medication for this? When does that start?

Julie 30:28
That started after George was diagnosed. I was, I was rocking it. But I started to see where you could lose control. You know, like, you know, some of the hormonal stuff, the middle of the night stuff that they weren't really teaching me. And I saw somebody, well, many people always talked about the juice boss, Fox podcast on all the groups. But, of course, God forbid, I could, like, look that up on my own. But then one day, somebody put it with the clip where you could just click on it and listen. And as soon as I heard that episode, I do not recall which one it was. I just put it down. I called a psychiatrist, it took like two weeks to get in. I said, I need to be put on medication. Because I have 600 525 hours worth of something that I'm going to listen to every word and learn every single bit of, but I'm going to need medication to do it. And so that is what I did I got on medication so that I can listen to your podcast and absorb it.

Scott Benner 31:35
I can't tell you and I hope you can shut up long enough for me to say this, but i You must. On this made me cry. I took me by surprise. I'm Misty as they say. So So let's unpack this for a second. Because it feels like I'm going to be a hero at the end of the story. So I want to take a second. But so first of all, you're not living with meds from the time you're born. Even through the real real problems that started around in your mid 20s. Up to 44. Just not. And then

Julie 32:12
just No, not 44 Yeah, like 40 I started. When I started. I think it was last June. I started listening to your podcast. Maybe it was before that. I'll never know.

Scott Benner 32:22
So 45 Are you breaking my balls over one year here, Julius, this what's going on right now? Two years, two years? Okay, good. I'll shut up.

Julie 32:32
No, it's alright. It doesn't really matter. No. So when I was 25, and I was diagnosed, I was in the middle of like a complete breakdown. And hearing about the EDD and stuff, they did start me on medication. But like, I didn't stick with it, because it had a lot of side effects. I didn't really know what was going on. And honestly, the job I had at that time, which was I believe, like the pottery place and teaching the art and stuff. I was like, oh my god, like nobody needs to cope with this much like I've already made a life that doesn't need focused, you know what I'm saying? So, I don't know, it just felt like a bit much. And I just never I did it for like, like a few weeks. I'm like, it's not for me. And that was alright, not until the podcast part.

Scott Benner 33:21
You are you are you are, you are taxing my ability to focus. But I appreciate it. It's much better today. Because the The really interesting thing that just happened was is that I wanted to move to I was trying to move to an idea. And I was just giving timeline context saying that you hadn't had meds your entire life right up until George was diagnosed, I took the fact that it looks like he's had diabetes since he was 11. But he's 14 now. And then I subtracted three from your age. And then you got super focused on a completely an important part of what I was saying. And then we and then we literally jumped off on a tangent. That's No, I have not finished my thought yet. It's really no, don't be sorry, I'm endlessly fascinated by this. You should not be sorry, you're doing an amazing job of letting people see what this is. So I'm being serious. So. So my point is, is that at that point, your son becomes diagnosed with the type one this thing is difficult. It takes focus, you clearly have set up a whole life for yourself where you don't have to focus, which is probably a brilliant strategy for you know, for self preservation. And then you get into a situation where you care more about George and his health than you do about your comfort. But realize there's no way you can help him while you're in this situation. And you so when you listen to the podcast, it isn't that you heard an episode where somebody was like, I have ADHD and medication helped me. You heard Oh, no, it had nothing to do with that. Right? You heard this might help my son but I don't have the capacity to listen to it.

Julie 34:59
I heard it. And I said, crap. All the answers are here. I can tell. And look at how many episodes. It's like going to college. Yeah. Okay. And you saw how that went. So, yeah, I was like, nope, nope. I need medication. Wow. And I need it to work. And I need it to be good.

Scott Benner 35:23
So Julie, you, you ended up in a in a different way than has ever been described to me in the past, doing what I see so many people doing over and over again, which is they don't help themselves until helping themselves helps a loved one. Fantastic. Yes, yes.

Julie 35:40
And I also was kind of spinning at that time. Because if you think about everything other than management of diabetes, which I was actually doing quite well at. If you think about everything else, it's all my worst things like I do not make phone calls. I cannot make a freakin appointment to save my life. I let every medication run out for like, at least a week before I get it. I mean, you can't do that with diabetes. I've got like three different pharmacies. I think my people and I always have from the beginning on the pod the people that filled up for me, right? Yeah, they call me. It's time do you want to still deliver? Yes. Thank you. And Thank you always for calling me. And doing this for me. And I say the same thing to the Dexcom. Rep. Yeah, like, thank you. Because it's there's no way there's no way.

Scott Benner 36:33
Yeah, Julie's never calling us we need to call her.

Julie 36:37
Yeah. And I think that's just it's that's just what they do. Because they just to get the approval of the copay or, you know, just to let you know that they're sending it out. But I have I go above and beyond.

Scott Benner 36:45
Yeah. Because, yeah, because yeah, because you're super nice is that way. Excellent. No one that was not in question. Ever. Joy. We never thought you weren't super nice. Okay, so how long do you have to be with the psychiatrist? So, are you seeing the psychiatrist just to get the script? Or are you actually going to? Do you actually start talking to them?

Julie 37:08
Well, a psychiatrist, you don't really, I mean, I spoke with him. You have to speak with them to get the medication. I also in addition, started seeing a therapist. So that's like, that's different. They don't prescribe medication. That's more of a talk therapy type of

Scott Benner 37:25
situation. Yeah. And the therapy was about George's diagnosis or about yourself, or what ended up happening.

Julie 37:31
No, it was like, it was about me. But then it was about George and then we just started becoming like, friends. So then she was like, should we like, do this? Like once a month instead? I'm like, Yeah, sure. And then just stop

Scott Benner 37:43
it. Stop. Okay, yeah. Jesus, was this person to this person? I have a degree of any kind. It is just, yeah, she's

Julie 37:50
a psychologist. Alright.

Scott Benner 37:52
I don't know. I gotta be honest with you, Julie. There are days when I think I'm like four classes away from being a psychologist and an admin. Totally. Yeah. But you know, the funny thing

Julie 38:00
to me too. I'm like, you know, I tell my friend, I'm like, if, if, if I had first of all podcasts, never heard of them. Never did a book on tape. never did anything like that. I'm like, do you understand? I probably could have graduated college if it was all on a podcast, really? And I could like do laundry, and like, walk around or do keep my physical body, you know, doing one thing so I can really focus.

Scott Benner 38:27
Okay, so this format works for you because you can busy yourself and hear it at the same time.

Julie 38:33
Yeah, interesting. I don't have to. It's not like I don't I'm not like oh, okay, like I'm gonna listen. Let me go like, I don't know move my body. It's just I like to multitask. You know? Yeah. I sitting down to read is first of all, I can't read. I was in the hospital. I read that. One of those things. The things like a pancreas, which is obviously great. I'm sure. I read the whole thing. I don't know what was what happened there. Wait a minute. Oh,

Scott Benner 39:05
I'm sure think like a pancreas is great. I'm sure meaning I read it, but I don't remember reading it.

Julie 39:11
But I remember reading it and being like, I don't know right now. I'm just trying to think about why when somebody is low, they don't need insulin. Okay, like I just couldn't in the very beginning. I was like, Wait, so when he's low, he needs insulin. They're like, Oh my God, no, they need the sugar when they're low. They need the insulin for the

Scott Benner 39:36
15 years and my mother in law brings art and food when her blood sugar is high. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know about that. I'm fascinated that the format works so well for you because I believe very strongly that I wasn't doing much different when I was writing a blog than I'm doing now. And yet, it just never reach people in the way that this does. And it helped people but very specific people. And, and now, I hear from I hear from so many listeners, and their backgrounds and their learning styles and their education levels are all so incredibly varied. And yet they almost all take the exact same thing away from the podcast. Yeah, amazing. It's crazy. I was telling someone the other day, I standing at a baseball game, at my son's college, pitchers father comes up to me, and we hadn't met before. And we're talking and he's telling me what he does for a living. And then he asks me what I do. And then there's this moment where I'm 50 years old. I'm clearly my son's in college, I must be paying for it somehow, right. And I'm now going to tell another human being another adult, that I'm a podcaster. And yeah, it's weird to say out loud, and so I, you know, you, I ended up explaining it first, before I even say the words. And then I, I kind of got over that part. And then explained to him how it helps people and how I'm really feel blessed. And it's not a word I use lightly because I have no real religious background or affiliation. But I really do feel blessed that I do something that pays my bills that I enjoy. And that helps people. It's a trifecta. I could not have imagined for myself, or I think most people are hard pressed to get those three things in their work life. But then,

Julie 41:34
don't you feel like it's your personality? And the way that you think that got you here?

Scott Benner 41:38
Well, I'm probably the worst person to ask why the podcast works. Because I'm certain that it works because of me. But I'm just being myself. So it's not like I sat down, you know, when you see people now and that you can see them plotting out their social media ideas about how they're going to dominate the world and be like, you know, click mavens and win everything. And I didn't, I didn't start this podcast for to be popular. I started I started it because I wanted to expand on what I was doing. And I knew that the blog helped people. I didn't want to lose the ability to help people and people weren't reading anymore. So this was just the thing I did next, to try to keep this train rolling, basically.

Julie 42:25
Yeah, you're going with the times. And it's kind of probably like, the blog was getting a little less popular. And podcasts were maybe getting more popular. And so you're like, Let me transfer over there.

Scott Benner 42:35
I didn't even know here's what I knew for sure. People read less than they used to. And I liked listening to audio, I like to listen to people speak. So I would prefer to be in the car listening to someone speak than someone saying, when I'm walking around the house, I prefer to hear somebody talking than not I like hearing new things, and ideas and things like that. And I don't know that, you know, I could go listen to a three hour podcast by somebody else. And I don't know that when it's over, you could give me a test on it. But I do feel enriched when it's over. And I do remember the things that I need to remember from it. And so I thought like maybe this would work for that. But the thing I didn't finish thing was the the gentleman at the baseball field. What I told him was it's so incredible to touch this many people's lives with technology that did not exist when I was in high school. And I mean, all of it. I mean, the computers, the internet access, the bandwidth, it's available cell phones, headphones, that, you know, pair easily and people can pop in and out when they're jumping out their car and things like that. Like everything that makes podcasts accessible. Like, literally didn't exist when I was thinking to myself, I wonder what I'll do with my life. And, and he asked me, What did you do back then? And I said I worked in a sheetmetal shop. Right? You know, it's just it's so crazy. I mean, I was the entertaining person at the sheetmetal shop, but a lot of good. That was good. I mean,

Julie 44:05
Sam, would you ever have you? Did you ever have like a nine to five or a desk job or any of that kind of stuff?

Scott Benner 44:12
I graduated from high school and the next day I started working in my uncle sheetmetal shop. I did that I did that for a number of years, until one day. Oh my god, am I going to tell the story? Let's do it. Sure. Until one day, there was a guy that worked in the shop who was my least favorite person is just sort of pompous and hard on people. I'm sure he grew up poorly and there would have been a way for him to anyway, I'm sure there's a reason why but he was a jerk. And it was the early 90s. And I and he would go home every day and his wife would make him lunch. And there was something about that that I found this tasteful for some reason I can't even begin to tell you why just that he she had a job to but that she'd run home to make him lunch at Just it always seems strange to me.

Julie 45:02
And I would definitely rubbed me the wrong way. And I

Scott Benner 45:05
I hung a sign on his back because he left it said his wife's name, comma and it said hold the dog. I'm horny. I don't know why I did that. And I was fired the very next day.

Julie 45:18
Oh my god.

Scott Benner 45:21
Rightfully so. I bounced that

Julie 45:25
a given you one chance? Well, I don't think it was a little bit funny.

Scott Benner 45:29
I'm sure everyone thought it was funny. But I don't think he thought it was funny. And they were you know, defending, hey, which makes sense to me. Even at that. I have to tell you, I was standing at the time clock at six o'clock in the morning punching in and they grabbed me pulled me in the office fired me. And I thought that's fair. And I left. I didn't even Yeah, I didn't even argue. Okay.

Julie 45:50
And also, you're like, I don't have the perks today.

Scott Benner 45:54
And I don't understand why it's 23. I thought that like that humor was funny, but I thought it was hilarious. Anyway. So I don't know what I went from there and went worked for a landscaper for a while I worked at a 711 for six or eight months. I did all kinds of little weird things like that. And then one day, my, my uncle called me back and they had trouble filling my position. And he brought me back. Like a couple years later, I worked there for a while again.

Julie 46:25
I got to sign like an agreement. Like we're not going to do the back sticker thing anymore. Oh, with

Scott Benner 46:30
that guy was still there.

We didn't really ever get along, girl. Great. But that's not the point. So from there, I think I finally realized that I needed to do something else. And a friend of mine, Julie, she was working in a credit card company collecting debts. And she's like, you can talk really well you could do this. And so I started collecting credit card debts. And it was it was great training for speaking to people without knowing anything about them. Because back then what would happen? I'm calling this thing a computer. But that's, I mean, if you could see it, the way I see it, in my mind, it's not the way you're imagining your computer right now. I don't have a computer. But yeah, so I'd be on a headset, and a person's voice would just pop up in front of me somebody be like, hello. And as they were saying hello, and I was orienting myself on the call, their information had not yet popped up in front of me. So you see, you had to kind of you had to kind of like engage them while the information was populating on the screen. And then get them to make a low level credit card payment, which I was incredibly good at. I was so bad at that. I think I moved on to a credit union, where I did it there in a more private setting, which was excuse me, that was like boutique collections. Because these people had the money they just wouldn't send it you know. And one day, one day at that job, the the This is so crazy, you're gonna laugh and it's like the graphic designer up and quit. And I hated collecting debts. It made me feel bad about myself. Yeah, so I ran downstairs in the building to the HR person, I said, I can do the I can do that I can make your like your your stuff, I can do the graphic design. And she said you went to school for that. And I was like, No, not at all I said, but just take me to the computer that the girl used I can show you. And I sat down, knock something out. And then I ran off and took a weekend long course on Photoshop and another Adobe product. I came back Yeah, yep, I came back three days later, I started designing their stuff for them.

Julie 48:51
So you basically did the same thing I did. Which is just went with the flow things came your way you took the opportunity, you use the skills that you've had, you know, instead of any deficits that you may have in trivial housing. Yeah. And until it all like put together and became awesome,

Scott Benner 49:11
right? Yeah, I just I got pushed into it. Like you got pushed into I think through your add and I got pushed into it through my just very poor upbringing and nobody ever thought to send me to college. And I just I was in a broke family and that was what that was, I mean, if you want context, that first job and that sheetmetal shop paid me $4.50 an hour so and I did more damage to my physical self in the five years that I was there than any money they gave me will ever make up for. But but but the point good, please.

Julie 49:43
I was just gonna say so. Yeah, you didn't have the opportunity and nobody like was really pushing you to go to college. So did you do you did well in school? No. You feel like with the opportunity you had the opportunity to be in high school did you do well with like schoolwork and stuff like that, like you think college would have done?

Scott Benner 50:00
Oh, no, I can't imagine I, I put no effort into high school whatsoever. Oh, yeah, I don't know if this, I can try it. I feel like I told somebody this recently, but the first day of my senior year of high school, my English teacher said, you're going to have to do a report. It's not due until the last week of the year, and I raised my hand and said, I'm not going to be able to get that done. And he's like, you have a year and I said, I got a job, man, I can't do that.

Julie 50:31
Oh, you had a real reason. Mine was like, You're gonna have to do this. And it's gonna be an oral report. And then I waited till about a week before it was due. And I just said, Listen. Yeah, I can give it to you written, but I'm not doing an oral report. And she's like, Well, you'll have to take zero and like, I'll take zero. That is so much better than getting up in front of this class.

Scott Benner 50:52
I would I get by in all kinds of weird ways. So there used to be a check system in my middle school, where if you answered a question, the teacher could throw you a check. And you could, you know, kind of pile up the checks and trade them for grades. And every one and every once in a while, a teacher would get like cocky and say something out loud. Like, I once passed a science class and entire year of a science class. Because one day, the science teacher said, hey, 100 checks, which was enough like to just buy your grades to anybody to anybody who knows the name of the first Mickey Mouse movie, and my hand went right up, and I was like Steamboat Willie. And I thought he was gonna say off. Like, he was really like, upset with himself that he put himself in that position, I walked up to his desk and watched him put every one of those 100 checks in there. And I said, Thank you, I'm gonna be using all of them. And he goes, Okay, he walked away, and I passed an entire year of science off off of that one moment.

Julie 51:54
So bring back that system.

Scott Benner 51:57
It was great. We had a the follow up maybe two years later. So funny that I said, I'm just now because the teacher said, anybody who can come up in front of the class and speak for I forget how long it was two or three minutes about anything without saying, um, gets 300 checks. Oh, boy, it was the easiest thing I ever did in my life. I watched I watch people get up there. I'll never forget this one person, this girl, she stands up there, and the teacher goes, go ahead and start and the girl goes. So they're doing it over and over again. And I, I got up there. And I spoke for three, two or three minutes straight, and made sense and never said on. And they a woman gave me the 300 checks. And then I didn't do another thing in her class again that year. So yeah, every time I failed a test or didn't turn into homework, I would just trade it for the checks. And I just kept working off them. That would

Julie 53:00
be like, take it out of my credit. Take

Scott Benner 53:02
it out of credit, baby. I'm all good. Scott, no need to do this. You know, when kids when kids were running around in high school, I have to take the SATs. So I went to work the day I actually looked at it, I thought, oh, I should probably take the LSAT. And then I looked and I was like, Well, I work then. And I just didn't do it. So I didn't I didn't go to college, I would have been terrible in college.

Julie 53:24
Really? Oh, same. Yeah, I was.

Scott Benner 53:28
That's it. I don't think I have ADHD or ADD. I just was a bad student. Nobody was pushing me from home to do better. The expectation,

Julie 53:36
you're like very smart, and you just have a certain personality.

Scott Benner 53:39
The expectation was, you'd go to work, we were all really blue collar. And that was the idea. So I didn't need to go to college to work in my uncle sheetmetal shop and I had no expectations of a better life. Like whatsoever. Right now, the only thing that saved me. I would. I mean, honestly, it's that my wife was able to see through my circumstances and see me when we were dating. Otherwise, I'd be in a I'd be in a I'd live a blue collar lifestyle right now. It wouldn't be anything wrong with it. But I mean, it was just that one person who, like a college person who had bigger hopes for themselves and more desire and somebody behind them telling them you're going to college like that kind of thing. It's just she saw me for who I was and not who you know, and not the life I was leading, I guess. Yeah, that's it. I don't know how we got here, Julie.

Julie 54:37
Sorry. I'm always gonna apologize. It's me.

Scott Benner 54:40
Don't be sorry. 20 minutes later brought you here. I want to ask you about it. So when you when you see your oh my god, I can't believe we're this far away from it. Your son's diagnosed and you go to the psychiatrist you get the medication you start listening to the podcast. What do you figure out for yourself then?

Julie 54:59
Ah, As far as diabetes,

Scott Benner 55:01
yeah, yeah. How did you get like, because you're doing like he's doing well? Am I right?

Julie 55:06
Oh, we were doing great. And I'm not in the same position that I was six months ago when I booked this.

Scott Benner 55:13
Okay, tell me about it, then how did you What did you learn? Where did it take you? And what's happened since?

Julie 55:20
Okay, oh, well, I learned, we were doing very well, we did very well, MDI, you know, he was diagnosed, he was like, 14.3. And then by the next, it wasn't three months, it was four months, actually. appointment, he was 5.6. And we've kind of rocked between 5.6 and 6.1, all the way until our last agency, and, but I learned a lot of what I thought must be the case, which is this thing where I send my numbers to them, and they're gonna make adjustments. Like, I'm gonna have to surpass this, this is not like, oh, it's gonna be, you know, like, I'm gonna need to understand and understand and being like, the bold with insulin, and like, you know, it doesn't always matter why. You just need more insulin, and I'm just hearing everybody's stories. And every, every single, every single thing to be learned, I learned from it from the podcast. You know, but now, George, is the teen year, right? It hit him hard. About like, three years ago, I know, three months ago, and we both kind of were suffering a little bit of burnout. We're both kind of like, whatever. And, I mean, I'm just like, wow, it's like, I learned all of that stuff. And I didn't realize how much his compliance really helped. And so right now, we're in a situation where I'm just like, oh my gosh, like, I know how to do this. I've never ever wanted to do low carb or any of that. I just wanted him to just eat regularly. And that was another thing, learning to know that you didn't have to change your diet was like, Oh, thank God, you know, like, this is amazing. And just listening to all of that. All the pro tips and everything was just so great. And we did I mean, it's not I mean, he had a he had a 520. And he had Burger King. Like, I mean, he did he had it like once every other week, or, you know, and he has pizza lunch at school. You know, he was the master of pizza lunch, two slices, and a big huge deli chocolate chip cookie. Didn't go over 140 Beautiful, we had it all everything was going well. And then, you know, now we're having a little bit more of a battle of wills, if you will. There's like some sneaking of food, which is not sneaking. But I'm like, you know, and he wants independence. And so we're just in like a hard place right now. Yeah. So

Scott Benner 58:03
he got a little older, a little more testosterone. That's all Yeah. And now he isn't as good about Pre-Bolus seeing or listening when you text them or something like that.

Julie 58:14
Yeah. And he's like, you know, there's some lying and I'm like, dude, like, oh, I don't care what you ate. You think I care what you eat? I don't? I don't, you know, but, like, I have to know why your 300 at 4am? Like, just be honest. Because then I know how to treat it. Like, am I really? Am I readjusting? Is this, like, every night thing? Like, are you eating after I go to bed? You know, because now it's like, he's on spring break. And, you know, it's just kind of stuff like that. And he's like, like, I'll text and I'm like, what's with this number? Like, are you? You know, like, can we take care of this? And he's like, I don't know. I'm like, you don't know. Like, I think you know,

Scott Benner 58:52
oh, it's just a stone wall. It's not even like, Hey, I ate something. But I didn't Bolus for it.

Julie 58:58
No, I read it. We'll get there after like a 20 minute conversation. But I mean, he knows the deal. Like he knows, I'm like, I said, I didn't set this, like, learn all of this so that you could have freedom. You know what I mean? We have always Pre-Bolus it doesn't mean like when I stepped foot out of the house to run to the store, you don't have to Pre-Bolus You know what I'm saying? It's kind of like that kind of stuff. And I feel bad because I don't want to be mad. Like, he's the one that lives with this. This is his diabetes. You know what I'm saying? And so, all I can do is teach him what I know and try to be patient. But it's really hard to be really patient when you know that there are long term effects. I mean, I'll tell you, honestly, his three months ago, his agency was 5.8. We went last week. 7.1

Scott Benner 59:50
Wow. Yeah, that's a significant change. That's a clear indication that he's just not doing the basic things that yeah, that you know, Keep his agency down.

Julie 1:00:03
I even got to the point where I told a friend I'm like, you know, I don't think we're ever going to, it's not going to matter, I kind of got to a point where I felt almost like how you would know, you know, ordens not really going to have like a seven a one see it, she's just not you guys know what you're doing. You get it, you give more when you need more, but you, but if one of those people drops out of the race, and especially the diabetic one, it can get control. Like, we're, it's like I told my endo the other day. I'm like, if it was my, my diabetes, it would be different. But it's his you know, and I know things can go up and down. And I don't want to look down on it. But it's just

Scott Benner 1:00:46
does your does your husband get involved in this at all? No, because it occurs to me. And I don't, I could be 100% Wrong, Julie. But you are. So you're scattered like a time. So like, even through conversations and everything. So I wonder if a different voice that comes out in a different way, might not help snap them into back to where he needs to be?

Julie 1:01:13
You know what, like, when my husband does say something, like, What I meant is he doesn't do management. To be honest with you. The man does not even know how to use the poem. He has to wake me up with the sign. I don't hear the alarm. Yeah, and so which is fine. I've come to terms with that it is better if one person is really managing it. But when he says to so his thing is like, Well, why is he even eating carbs in the first place? I'm like, Oh, my God, like what are you talking about? And then my son so he'll say to George, he's like, it's unacceptable as long term health Baba Baba and George looks at me looks at him and goes, you don't get it. With the diabetes dad. Only mom does. That's not how we do it. And I'm like,

Scott Benner 1:01:58
well, well, so I wasn't I wasn't thinking so much about your husband coming in with diabetes advice. I was thinking your husband coming in like it was 1982 and saying, listen to me. I'm going to tell you something right now. It's the only thing that's important. Listen to your mom. Like, do

Julie 1:02:13
you know, you'll say that?

Scott Benner 1:02:15
I know. It's a it's a sexist, though. Older idea. But I don't

Julie 1:02:19
listen, I use it to my son. I said, That's it. That's it. I'm gonna give I'm given dad the reins for a week. And he's like, don't even I'm like,

Scott Benner 1:02:28
Yeah, again, not about the diabetes, just like hey, don't worry, even if it's just a more pleasant conversation where you say, Look, you know, I need you to be respectful. Your mother, I don't care if you don't want to do this. It's not, that doesn't matter to me, you're gonna do it. Yeah. And when she talks to you, we're going to respond, we're not going to drag out conversations and jerk around and make her feel like, like, like, she's like, she's spinning our wheels. You know, this is the least you can do for her. Is be respectful of her. It's got nothing to do with diabetes. Really it? Yeah, you know, it has to mean just deal with, like, the communication that the two of you have back and forth. Like, I get that the kids trying to find his way. And he's probably trying to separate you from him a little bit. And take, that's fine, like you said, but then do it. Like, don't tell me you want control and then get control. And what you do with the control is nothing. You know what I mean? Like if, if you want to be in charge, be in charge and do it. And if you and if you can't, if you can't, then right on, then I'd be happy to continue to help you. But there's no world where we're going to let your agency jump up two points in three months.

Julie 1:03:34
Well, these are the conversations I have within my husband has had conversations with him. Yes, more about just listening to me and trying to work with me because we have a good system, you know, obviously working just that. It's just that he's not doing it. So anyway, I just recently reached out I gotta get him like a therapist, just to because he has had a lot. He's like, I'm very overwhelmed. You know, he's 13. But the kids like six one.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:03
He's just a little does he have any of the anxiety heartbreaker?

Julie 1:04:06
You know? Yeah, he's had a couple panic attacks this year. He's had a couple situations. It's a lot. You know. It's a lot on him, which is why I say I'm like, This is why I just text you at the time to Bolus at school not to annoy you to take it off your plate. The way I look at it is I'm trying to take it off your plate

Unknown Speaker 1:04:29
in my hand. Yeah. Right.

Julie 1:04:31
You know, for as long as I can, and I'm willing to do it. My alarm just went off at 1130 it goes off it's I have I usually text him what his you know, if I ordered lunch or whatever, your lunch is this probably around this many carbs, whatever. Don't forget to Pre-Bolus then he won't answer and then I emphasize it. You know, it's like this whole thing, you know, and I don't mind doing that. I know he's been he's like I'm doing stuff. Busy doing school and like I understand but you don't have to go to the nurse. You don't have to you Don't I'm saying like, I've taken away all of the things that we did when we first started to where you'd have to go to the nurse 20 minutes before, which means you miss part of your recess and this and that. You don't I mean, like, we've come so far. And now we're just dropping the ball all over the place. And it's just, it's like difficult, just really hoping that we can like get past that part.

Scott Benner 1:05:17
I have found all that's come up with Arden and I've just found that perseverance eventually gets you to it. I, the I've gone to in the past, I've gone to saying say, okay, at the end of a text meeting, if you don't respond to me, I'm going to keep assuming you haven't seen this. So say, oh,

Julie 1:05:35
that's exactly what I tell him. I say I emphasize once meaning like just Hola, you know, gives another vibration to the text and then I set and then I'm like, if you're not going to respond, I'm going to call if I call his phone, I have my phone number on override. Just actually ring, okay, okay. Yeah. Even if he has it on silence is my point and he can silence his phone, but he cannot silence my ring. That's interesting. You can do that. Yeah, you can go to emergency override under your name in their contacts. Okay. And I know someone told me that I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. So I get up in the morning, and he has the most annoying thing under my name. It's like Dunkin Donuts. It's so loud. He can't stand it.

Scott Benner 1:06:23
Yeah, he knows the answer. Yeah.

Julie 1:06:25
Well, now he won't. But then I'm like, Hey, calling in five. Like for three. He's like, hey, you know? Like, we're in that it's like a team thing. I just didn't think it was gonna happen so drastically and so fast.

Scott Benner 1:06:42
Oh, yeah. Boys or something. The way they shift.

Julie 1:06:45
Oh my gosh. Oh my god. It's like a moustache involved. I don't know what's happening.

Scott Benner 1:06:49
exactly what's happening. I wish you luck. That sounds terrible. So what do you think? What do you think the first steps are to bring the seven back to the fives.

Julie 1:07:03
Ah. Well, I'm when he starts doing any of the things that we know how to do. That's going to be really helpful. Like, you know, last night he was at a beautiful number. We had a huge like feast of my husband made homemade fajitas and all my everything was so good. Great Bolus didn't really have a lot of rice. So there wasn't a really big situation going on. But I could hear him like, tiptoeing around at like midnight. And I'm like, Oh, my God, don't do it. Like, what are you gonna do? You know? And then I wake up, and I even tell him, like, if you're heading to the kitchen, please Pre-Bolus for whatever it is that you're having, you know, please just do it. And I go to sleep because like, I need sleep at some point. And then the alarms going off. I look like we're like 325 And like, 325

Scott Benner 1:07:57
So you didn't even ever

Julie 1:08:01
he didn't Bolus he didn't Pre-Bolus at all. And whatever he ate must have been sweet. I didn't find it out with him this morning. I was too nervous. Like I didn't want to be like, what was it a

Scott Benner 1:08:15
rocket fuel in it for his blood sugar.

Julie 1:08:18
Something was not good. You know something and it wasn't cereal because I don't have any but it was something along those lines, maybe these muffins or something, I don't know. Just something were like, Okay. And I've even explained to him like I said, George, I have learned even so much that if you really feel that you cannot Pre-Bolus I will over Bolus you. Like there is a way I don't want to get into a habit of it. But I will. I will take into account what this is about to do to you. And we will put it all in there.

Scott Benner 1:08:47
Or just as you're walking downstairs just choose 15 carbs and Bolus for it until you fit because I think that's what happens is they don't know they know they're going to eat they don't know what they're going to eat.

Julie 1:08:59
Right and so I'm always Bolus something you know, I mean, get some

Scott Benner 1:09:03
insulin go until you figure it out, then put the rest of it in. Right that's to me is that's the that's common sense. And, and

Julie 1:09:12
that's what I say a lot of it is it's not I mean, I do know what to think dread because like who the hell wants to have tech wants to have

Scott Benner 1:09:22
Well, you gotta get past that. You got you have to get diabetes like fighting that. That's a different situation. You know, I mean, like you if you're if you're fighting the idea that you have type one that's not the same as ignoring what you're supposed to do. You know, those are two different yeah, those are two different issues.

Julie 1:09:40
Yeah, like a few months ago, I hate when he's gonna be he's in private school right now. Catholic school and I'm not even Catholic, but whatever. And then he and then but he's going back to public for high school. Okay, next year, okay. And he He literally says he's like, it's gonna be so great. He's like, I'm just like, 19. He's like, my whole school knows his whole school. His whole grade is like, 40 kids, it's like nothing. And he was like, I'm not gonna tell anybody I have diabetes. I'm like, oh, please listen to me, you have got to accept this thing, because this is like crazy that that cannot be your plan. You know what I mean? Like, I think in his mind, I don't know, I don't know. It's almost like a delayed denial thing, right? Maybe, I don't know, this is why I'm getting a therapist,

Scott Benner 1:10:31
I just think that you know, an 11, it's different than when you're 14. That's all. You know, your child when you're 11. And what happens happens, you just, you just keep going and keep going. You don't have a ton of at least external feelings, that start impacting stuff where you let your parents the pressure of what your parents want, get you to do it, and then you just at some point, get a little testosterone and you're like, I'm going to push back. And this is pushing back looks like,

Julie 1:10:59
Yeah, I told him, he's got a couple of months with the push back. But once the high school starts, like, well, we're gonna really need to get back to what we're doing. I mean, we're already doing it. So I'm never gonna give up. I'm never gonna be like, this is fine. But

Scott Benner 1:11:11
I would. I would I'm not disagreeing with you. But I think the idea that a break from diabetes means a break in your health is a is a weird precedence to set.

Julie 1:11:24
Oh, no. I don't know that like a break. That's why I said, No, I'm not going to just allow it. But I just meant, like, you don't have much more like, you don't want to go into high school having to like, check in to the nurse. Like, I'm never gonna let it go is my point. So like, if you want to hash it out, we'll hash it out over the summer. I'm not I don't mean by like, I'm not I'm still going to be, you know, having up Bolus and asking you this and that and that. I'm just trying to be a fair and if they're

Scott Benner 1:11:51
difficult to work, it's not nearly as fun as you think it's going to be when you're like, oh, we'll have a baby. This will be fun. Yeah, not really. I mean, it's fun of the beginning when they're little and

Julie 1:12:01
I was even Okay, with the diabetes. I was like, doing all right. And then, and then I think the team thing that's hard. Yeah, he's a sweetheart too. So and we're like, buddies. He's a mama's boy. So I just think I don't know why I was in denial, I didn't think that it was going to hit him. I don't think he was going to be like this.

Scott Benner 1:12:20
If I can do if I can make one public service announcement, I'm going to tell any mom who's listening that your relationship with your son is going to change as they start to mature. So it takes a pretty big shift. And I I mean, it looked shocking to my wife. And as I was trying to, like, kind of coach her through it and be like, Hey, here's what you should be doing right here. Because this is what he's thinking. She just kept seeing him like he was eight. And I'm like, that's not what that what you think is happening is not happening anymore. Right? Yeah. It's it's not it's not difficult to understand boys. But it is difficult, I think, for moms to want to see their boys as men. That's, that's

Julie 1:12:58
well, I'm trying to listen, he actually have to be honest with you. Just can't shares a lot with me. Like he had a girlfriend and then like he went to the mall. I think he has like, he's like, just before the question start. I will just tell you, but don't tell anybody had a kiss. You know? Brian, he tells me the thing

Scott Benner 1:13:23
that's bragging. That's not sharing. Oh, right. Yeah, that might have been bragging. But remember earlier, when you said, you know, I tried modeling for a while they call that? They call that a low key? Brag. So you know, it's

Julie 1:13:36
a low key brag, but I mean, I'm aware of it. So yeah.

Scott Benner 1:13:39
I'm just telling you, it's gonna get worse, like boys aren't. I'm 50 my thoughts aren't much different now than they were when I was 14. So, good luck.

Julie 1:13:53
So I wanted to I don't know how long we're into this right now. But I wanted to say something that was really interesting and how everybody has, it's not interesting. It's interesting to me. You know, everybody has like, oh, their kid got sick, or they think. I mean, the auto immune is already there. He would have done it anyway. But George was on medication for ADHD for three years. And then I took him off June, end of fifth grade. He because you don't really eat it suppresses your appetite a lot. The medication. So when I took him off, he started eating like a maniac, right, like so much. It was unbelievable. And he started gaining weight and everything and he was always really thin. Even my husband I really looked at that stuff is getting a little pudgy. Well, you know, funny, he's really eating a lot. And then that was like a couple months. And then at the end of the summer, let's say it's late August, September, is when he started continuing the eating and then the drinking. Right and I really think that was like, what his trigger. It's like, I really think it like, triggered it like it was so much on his pancreas. Like, he would have gotten it anyway. But like, you know, everybody gets it through this or people say like, Oh, I think it was the this vaccine or this and you know, or they got COVID or they got, you know that he would have gotten it anyway, I just think that was like his trigger was coming off of that and just eating like a maniac. Mania, I'm

Scott Benner 1:15:26
gonna tell you that I am not a doctor, nor am I a scientist, but that doesn't make any sense to me. But you don't think I don't think at all? No,

Julie 1:15:34
I don't think just eating so much high carb. So like, so like I'm saying he already was gonna get it.

Scott Benner 1:15:40
I hear ya, I hear what you're saying. But how family? How would How would? How would calling for more insulin trigger him into type one, it doesn't make sense. Because type ones and auto immune disease. So there's an auto immune response in your body that kills the beta cells, blah, blah, blah, etcetera. Or, you know, whatever word you want to use for what happens to the beta cells. But it's not it's not an overuse situation, where you're asking for too much insulin, and suddenly you've taxed the pancreas that those two things are not

Julie 1:16:10
like you don't think it would speed it up. If you were like eating me like just like a mania. I think it would not speed up a process that was already like maybe slowly coming into action.

Scott Benner 1:16:19
I think if you made me bet $100 of my own money on what you just said, I would bet against what you said being true. But I don't know for sure. That's all it just doesn't see it doesn't it doesn't shake out to me is all I can see that it like cause and effect way. You might have seen it happen. And anecdotally, it feels like that. But I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't know, it looks and I can

Julie 1:16:39
I get what you're saying I get what you're saying. That's all in my head. I'm thinking all right. Well, his body was probably already slowly maybe doing this like because who knows? I mean, I don't know. But then I'm like, oh, and then I took them off that medication. Therefore he's like eating like everything under the sun. So in my mind, I guess I was thinking like he was really taxing the pancreas that was already probably starting to struggle. But it could be wrong. I mean, obviously, maybe that does not make any sense. I am not a doctor. Clearly.

Scott Benner 1:17:06
It just felt like you were mixing apples and oranges there and that the apples were type two diabetes and the oranges were type one diabetes. That's all right. That's all Hey, I just I think it's just interesting after everything we've talked about, about George and what is going on with him in the in the moment, and that he has ADHD. It's fascinating, a little bit to hear you talk about yourself and, and have such clarity about why you can and can't do the things that you can and can't do. But when you talked about George, it feels like to you that he's just ignoring you.

Julie 1:17:42
Yeah, well, I have a lot of understanding when it comes to any of that stuff. Regarding school. I have a lot of meetings saying like, listen, he has an IEP, he has ADHD. That means yes, he Yeah, he's gonna, you know, it's Catholic school. They're like crazy. It's like, you know, oh, he keeps not having a pencil. I'm like, well then just provide the pencil like, I don't care. It's he's never going to have a pencil. You know, like, that's how this is gonna work. I just need them to learn. Like, I don't really we're not going to mark off for like, an uncapped like notebook.

Scott Benner 1:18:15
Why is it's just gonna be doodles. Well, why is it different than when he forgets the Bolus?

Julie 1:18:20
Well, I don't, because I'm almost feeling like he's not forgetting to Bolus. I feel like he's not bolusing. So you think that I don't, I don't think he does. Because he's got like, a little bit of a tude he's got he's like, I don't know. Okay, maybe I can't remember. So, like, it's not the same as when he's like, forgetting the pencil. Like, there's been a couple of times at school where I'm like, Oh, buddy, did you forget to Bolus he's like, Oh my God, you know, they'll say like, Oh, I didn't even Bolus like it's alright, just Bolus now. You know, fine. No big deal. This is a little different. Okay. Feels a little more behavioral. Is, is the vibe. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:19:02
I mean, only only you would know. I was just trying to, like I was thinking through at the moment, cuz we are finishing up. And I was thinking, like, if I was listening to this, what questions would I still have one? That was the one I had. So that's it. Really? I didn't know we not talked about anything that you want to talk about. You didn't have a list. All it said was Don't curse and you curse twice. So other than that, we're all good. Did I curse twice? I believe so. Oh, wait, maybe that was me. At 4750. I don't know. I'll figure it out. Oh, my gosh, it might even be the first one to you. The first one's not a big deal. All right. Is there anything you think we should do?

Julie 1:19:38
No, that's it. I just really appreciate the podcast and everything you do. And, you know, I just hope it just continues and continues. I love everybody's stories. Hope this is even any remotely normal type of podcast. I'm not sure.

Scott Benner 1:19:56
Are you kidding? I love that. No, I'm

Julie 1:19:59
not kidding.

Scott Benner 1:20:00
Every one winner on Jesus joy. Every one of these recordings ends and people are like, I hope you use this. And I'm like, what delusion? Are you under that I record a bunch of podcasts that I don't use?

Julie 1:20:12
Well, I know I've heard you say you use them all unless someone were to be like, Listen, you definitely can't do that. Right? I just mean, it's like I blacked out. When I think back. I'm like, I don't recall what we just talked about.

Scott Benner 1:20:22
But that's okay. I'm okay. Trust me if I didn't like what you were saying. I would have redirected you. Okay, cool. Yeah, that's all I just, you know, it to me in this last hour. I don't know. Like, I'm like a lion tamer, like I've got the whip and the chair. And you're like a, like a bumblebee on a leash. And I'm just trying to just trying to keep you're flying in the right direction. That's all. That's all I was doing. I thought you were terrific. I think here's what I think. I think you very succinctly described what it was like to have ADHD. You didn't describe it, because I couldn't get you to describe it. But you showed you showed us an example of it. And I think it's very clear. And it's a it's a great teaching tool for anybody who doesn't know what it is for a DD or ADHD. I think that I think that you gave great examples of pathways that it led you to, I think I told him delightful story in the middle. We heard about a kid who, whose mom jumped into the podcast learned how to do everything, put his a onesie in the fives, then he got a little older and he's rebelling a little bit and it's a once he jumped up, I think it's a an honest thing to say, I think it's going to be good for people to hear. I think that what you do next is, you know, is most important, right? And that everybody gets the feeling that even if I get it perfect, it might not always be perfect.

Julie 1:21:46
That's where I'm trying to. That's where I'm trying to be mentally like, okay, it's a bump in the road. I didn't think we were gonna have it just because we started out real strong for quite a while now. But that's okay. It's still okay. Right. This is what this is what could happen. And we know, we have the tools. That's the thing. We have the tools. We have the podcasts, I can't wait until he's open to listening to the podcast.

Scott Benner 1:22:09
Oh, well, I'm just saying. So you've got off track there that I thought it really, I thought the conversation was really valuable for people and some of the reasons why. So okay, great. I am going to go now and say goodbye. Because I have a phone call for my personal life. And I already have things I need to do. I have a whole life of

Julie 1:22:29
ask you why Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Scott Benner 1:22:33
I really appreciate it. Hold on one second. I'd like to thank ag one from Athletic Greens remind you that if you're looking for a green drink, that doesn't taste like crap, go to athletic greens.com forward slash juice box, use my link please. It's in the show notes of this podcast app you're listening in right now at juicebox podcast.com or by typing it into a browser athletic greens.com forward slash juice box. And don't forget to find touched by type one at touched by type one.org. And lastly, a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. You spell that g v o OKEGLUC. Ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. Thanks so much to Julie for coming on the show and sharing the honesty of her story with her son and herself. I can't thank her enough. And especially at this time of year, I want to say how thankful I am for all of you for subscribing, following listening sharing the Juicebox Podcast it's a huge success and it is completely because of you. Everything that the podcast accomplishes comes directly from you listening, supporting and sharing. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast

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