#570 Cranky Panky

November 2, 2021Scott Benner

Mandy is a D-Mom who has seen some stuff.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio - Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 570 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today on the show, Mandy is here she is the mother of a child with type one diabetes. She does a lot of different things actually she writes books, and she's super honest on podcasts about the anxiety she feels around type one. Please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. It is officially diabetes Awareness Month. And I want to remind you that I am personally trying to add 2000 surveys to the T one D exchange in the month of November, I need your help. If you're a type one who lives in the United States, or the caregiver of a type one who lives in the United States, please go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. take you less than 10 minutes, you can do it right from your phone. Super simple questions. Completely HIPAA compliant, and absolutely anonymous. That's all you have to do to help people living with type one T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod makers of the Omni pod dash and the Omni pod promise which I'll tell you more about me ads very very soon. The podcast is also sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to get started right now.

Mandy Morreale 1:56
My name is Manny Morelli. And I am the mother of a type one diabetic. She is now 14 years old and was diagnosed when she was 1111. Three

Scott Benner 2:05
years ago. Wow. Um, three years ago, 2018 ish.

Mandy Morreale 2:13

Okay.

Scott Benner 2:17
That's not that long ago.

Mandy Morreale 2:20
It feels like it.

Scott Benner 2:20
Well, that was my question. Does it feel like forever ago? Or does it feel like it just happened?

Mandy Morreale 2:25
It feels like forever. Like, I really even though it's only been a couple years. It's like diabetes has always been in our life now.

Scott Benner 2:34
Can you? Can you properly explain to people the difference between the panic in the beginning and how you feel now?

Mandy Morreale 2:47
It's like night and day. I guess if anybody newly diagnosed is listening to this. It does get better. It doesn't get easier. I wouldn't say easier. But you learn how to do it better. I'm I'm much calmer person than I was in 2017. For sure.

Scott Benner 3:05
That's true. You stop vibrating, right? Everything. Everything stops feeling like a disaster. It's why I feel so badly for people who have anxiety. Because they always have that heightened feeling of like,

Mandy Morreale 3:15
ah, but that's that's me. I'm what I'm the most anxious person you'll ever

Scott Benner 3:19
meet. Oh, no kidding. And you feel better?

Mandy Morreale 3:22
I do. I mean, what was first diabetes? I got a million other words. But as far as my child and type one Yeah, I feel much better.

Scott Benner 3:28
Man. He's like, I don't have to panic about diabetes. I'm panicking about a number of other things. Thank you. Yes. That's funny, and not funny at the same time. So how did you figure out your daughter had type one.

Mandy Morreale 3:42
We were we were planning a memorial day trip to a waterpark. And I mean, everybody was excited. And except for Brandi, she was just kind of just laying around want to get out of bed. She kept saying her stomach hurt. And she was drinking an unbelievable amount of fluid. I've never seen anything like it. But I still didn't know that that's what it was because I've never had any experience with diabetes. So I kind of thought well, maybe she's getting strep throat maybe she's just got a stomach bug so we let it go for a couple days. until she finally and this is really sad. Her little frail little self come down the steps and she says Mom, I really need to go to the hospital. There's something really wrong. And we took her to urgent care

Scott Benner 4:29
see you made me sad when you said that because I'm

Mandy Morreale 4:32
really sad. I got so so bad.

Scott Benner 4:34
Well not that part not the part where you like knew she didn't feel well and you didn't like sprang into action like that an 11 year old was aware that their health was in danger. And and that's the part that got me I think that she was like I like unless she came downstairs like Alright, listen, you people are never gonna pull this together. So let me explain to you I have it wasn't like that right?

Mandy Morreale 4:56
No, no, she was just there's something really wrong Mom, I need to go to the hospital. Wow.

Scott Benner 5:00
What did you think? In that moment when she said that to you? Do you remember? Well,

Mandy Morreale 5:05
I have four kids. And they're all hypochondriacs. And they all have something that they don't have. So we, we went through a long period of somebody always needs to know the doctor, I've got this. I've got that. So I didn't really, I mean, I knew she was sick. But I didn't know. That's what it was. I really thought this was going to be another Urgent Care trip where Oh, you've got a stomach bug, go home and drink some fluids. You're fine.

Scott Benner 5:28
Have your kids ever complain about something that doesn't exist? Or they just kind of over? Blow blow the thing that does exist?

Mandy Morreale 5:35
My kids are like, WebMD looking up nonsense. Maybe they've all got something terribly. And none of them have anything except for brandy has diabetes.

Scott Benner 5:44
Wow. Yeah. Everybody's like, I have fibromyalgia. I'm like, do you like I have a lot of these symptoms is like, all right. Yeah. Yeah, everybody's got the internet. Right. So you're just like, I know what the problem is. And, you know, the, you know, the, the weird thing is, is that every once in a while somebody is right about that. And you know, and then everybody else gets to be like, Oh, I'm such hypochondriac, and I get to blow it off. But you get you got a thing, and you got stuck with it. So it sounds like is there any other autoimmune in your family line?

Mandy Morreale 6:14
No, no, um, I have a cousin actually, I'm sorry that that has type one. But she got diagnosed when she was pregnant, and it kind of just remained, right. And that doesn't that nobody,

Scott Benner 6:25
even those people you feel horrible for? Not that you wouldn't. But you know, so many people get gestational diabetes, and then it's gone. And then every, you know, every, you know, every random lucky person is like, Oh, look, mine stayed great. Or comes later in life after that. Okay, so somebody has it, but not the way you think of getting it? Yeah. As far as like, you know, I wonder if gestational is auto immune? I'm not sure. I'm not either. I'm wondering if I care enough to Google? Maybe not. So you ended up at Urgent Care eventually. And yes, were they able to diagnose her there?

Mandy Morreale 7:04
Um, yes, they did. It didn't take. It was really fast, actually. I mean, within maybe 30 minutes, we were right in the door and scene and like, Hey, this is what you got. And we're calling an ambulance to take you to the hospital. Okay.

Scott Benner 7:19
Okay. And so you're off. How long do they keep her at the hospital? I guess. How and what was her blood? Her a One CT, remember?

Mandy Morreale 7:28
I want to say 14. I don't remember her exact blood sugar. It was way up there. It wasn't even reading like on a on a finger. glucose. They were last for about five days.

Scott Benner 7:40
Wow. You said her he wants he was like 14. Yeah. Oh my goodness. How long? In hindsight, do you feel like this was going on?

Mandy Morreale 7:49
I'd say quite a while. I mean, I just kind of thought she was little. You know what I mean? I thought she was just a frail little thing. I didn't know. She was dying. I didn't know that's what it was. I just thought she was a little, little one.

Scott Benner 8:01
Did you put weight on when you got into the insulin? Oh, yeah. Real fast. More like back to where you remember her starting or beyond?

Mandy Morreale 8:11
Beyond. I mean, she's not like, like, heavy but she's, she's healthy.

Scott Benner 8:16
Well, that that was my, that was really my the the impetus behind my question was like, was perhaps her growth and her progression being stifled? Like,

Mandy Morreale 8:25
I definitely think so. I mean, she she was a little one. I think she was. I mean, she was done like, like little clothes, not like adult sizes. I don't know if you know what difference in the sizes are, but I could still buy like youth clothes for her. Like they still fit around a little waist. And she was just a bony little thing.

Scott Benner 8:40
Mandy. I've been a stay at home dad for over 20 years. Okay. Okay. I know more about girls clothes than anybody.

Mandy Morreale 8:49
I'm glad to still get her in like, like a six t at that point. Wow.

Scott Benner 8:55
Holy God. And that wasn't like, wow, that is interesting, isn't it? So she was she? You thought she was just in general? Your smaller child?

Mandy Morreale 9:04
Yeah, she was a little runt.

Scott Benner 9:06
Is she? Is she? Is she more in line with the other kids at this point?

Mandy Morreale 9:16
For the most part, yeah. I mean, she's she's healthy. She's about I think she's 140 pounds. She's like, five, six. That's right. It looks like a normal, normal 14

Scott Benner 9:25
year old. Yeah. That's very cool. It's exciting. Just to see somebody feel better is exciting. But in that moment, when you're in the hospital, and you've never really thought about type one diabetes before, I mean, and you've got four kids, like how do you juggle all that I'm interested in in how you absorb those first couple of days when you have so many other responsibilities.

Mandy Morreale 9:49
Well, everything turned brandy at that point. The other three were with their dad who is not brand new dad, so they were with him and I thought focused 100% on brandy. It was a whirlwind. I mean, I had a complete nervous breakdown twice, I guess. And that week, it was it was a lot. I imagine.

Scott Benner 10:12
I really don't did you feel was part of that feeling that you were falling apart to have anything to do with the wreck? The realization that she had been telling you she didn't feel well, and you didn't do anything?

Mandy Morreale 10:23
Oh, yeah, extreme, extreme guilt, I still feel guilty. It's like almost four years later, three and a half years later, I still feel so guilty. Like, I can still see in the back of my mind her just laying there telling me she didn't feel good. And I didn't really believe her. How does

Scott Benner 10:35
that if it does? How does that manifest in your current life visits? stress anxiety? Like, how does the guilt like hit you? Is it just a thought?

Mandy Morreale 10:46
More anxiety because I'm already an anxious person. I mean, there's, there's times where I can wake up in the middle of the night, be asleep and perfectly fine. Wake up. And I'm like, Oh, my God, what am I to bring to the hospital faster? Okay, so all these years later,

Scott Benner 10:58
I'm sorry? That that's, that's terrible. Well, I'm between two strangers. didn't do anything wrong. And I hope you stopped feeling that way. Because there's no like, there's no reasonable correlation. Really, you know, like he said, like, you have four kids, and they're always like, this hurts. That hurts. This has happened. You know, that guy? Sure. Like one of them was like, I'm dying. And they're like, of course you're not. And so she happened to be right. That's tough. So you're with me make sure I understand. Are you with? Are you with brandies father?

Mandy Morreale 11:34
I'm not no, he passed away. Um, actually, he passed away in February and she was diagnosed in May.

Scott Benner 11:41
How would you leave that out of the story? That's like saying I had a major car accident. I was wrapped around a tree. I lived through it. And then I took four steps and was diagnosed with type one diabetes. That's Are you okay? Good. Yeah.

Mandy Morreale 11:54
You sure? Yes.

Scott Benner 11:58
Okay. I didn't mean like, Are you sure? Like you would know, but I just want to be sure. Like that's, that's okay. My goodness. So am I right to say then your your second husband passes away. brandies, father, and a number of weeks later, she's diagnosed. Is that all right.

Mandy Morreale 12:18
To make myself not sound terrible. I don't know if you can edit this. I wasn't married to him.

Scott Benner 12:23
I think that sounds terrible. I think there are a lot of women right now we're like, I wish I could say I wasn't married to the guy. I'm

Mandy Morreale 12:34
just brandies. Dad, he was not my husband.

Scott Benner 12:36
Gotcha. So you didn't have you weren't living with him or having like some major emotional connection to him. Okay. So, okay, I don't want to go deeper. Because I'm afraid I'm gonna ask you that you weren't that upset. You're gonna be like, yeah, I really wasn't that upset. And then um, then that will make you

Mandy Morreale 12:53
upset. Nobody wants anybody to die. And you don't want to see your child's father die? No, of course. Not. I, I could have been more upset. But I was not.

Scott Benner 13:02
Maybe you're finding me joking in all the wrong places. But I'm still amused for reasons that are hard to put together. But how was she? I mean, her father passed.

Mandy Morreale 13:12
She Oh, it was? No, I mean, they had a relationship. Yes. But not not a great relationship. So she she, she cried. Yeah. We laid in bed and cried for together for at least a day and a half and and then she kind of just bounced back. It was she's she goes to therapy for now. Because she she kind of processed it a little better and faster than you would think one would.

Scott Benner 13:40
So you want to make sure that it was really processed. Yeah. Yeah. See, you're a good mom. You're doubting yourself, you doubt yourself earlier, you're doing the right stuff. This may I might be coming out of left field be 100% wrong by this. Is there any chance that the shock of his passing was the trauma that threw her body into flux?

Mandy Morreale 14:01
So I was I didn't want to say that because I didn't want to seem like a crazy person. But like, I've always thought that I didn't because it came out of nowhere. And they say that no traumatic events can can cause that to happen. So I really don't know. I have to

Scott Benner 14:14
tell you, I've seen people develop like Hashimotos after like, traumatic, like months of their life, and stuff like that.

Mandy Morreale 14:23
And again, she was she was still tiny. Back then to no matter what.

Scott Benner 14:26
Yeah, but she couldn't have I as I say she couldn't have had it that long. Maybe she could have maybe it could have been spa sputtering Pancrase that was going on for I mean, you know, you hear some people are diagnosed super early, and they'll experience their honeymoon for years. Like who's to say you couldn't not be diagnosed and experienced that honeymoon for years? Yeah, you know, I'm goodness. I'm sorry. i That's a lot to go through. It's it's a It's brave of you to tell us I seriously appreciate it. Okay, so she's diagnosed and And how did they start their treatment off? I mean only three years ago like there's a hopeful part of me that's like they gave her a pumping a CGM in the hospital. But what happened?

Hey, let's not waste any time let's dig right in. You may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash go to Omni pod.com Ford slash juice box to find out. That's a free 30 days 112 A year of using an insulin pump on the free, cheap, zero cost to you. Are you kidding me? Do you hear what I'm saying? Check out the Omni pod dash Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. Now if you're saying to yourself, but Scott, I am waiting for that next big thing that's coming from Omni pod. I don't want to waste my time switching to the dash right now. And plus, what if I switch to the dash and then I can't upgrade to that other thing? Should it ever happen? Well, to that I say ha. Not a concern. Because there's no need to wait for the next big thing with the Omni pod promise. You can upgrade to Omni pods latest technologies for no additional cost as soon as they're available to you and covered by insurance. Now Terms and Conditions apply. But what I'm saying is go get yourself on the pod Dash. And if in a few weeks or months or what have you. On the pod happens to come out with something else and you want it you come up and you go Hello Omnipod you promised I could switch and they'll go okay. And then that's it. Do you see what I'm saying? There's no need to wait. And why would you want the Omni pod? Well, hmm, friends, it's a tubeless insulin pump. There's no tubing, it doesn't get caught on desk drawers, or doorknobs or hinges or cabinet handles. Or you don't have to take it off to take a shower, go swimming. And because you don't have to take it off. You won't forget to put it back on after you take a shower and your blood sugar won't get all crazy high. Hey, you spent all afternoon trying to get back down again. I know that happens with the Omnipod because it's tubeless no tubing. That's what tubeless means. Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox links in the show notes. Links at Juicebox Podcast comm go check out the insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing for over 13 years every day. You know what else she's been wearing for quite some time. As a matter of fact, I've just utilized it moments ago. That's right. I'm talking about the Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor. How did I use it most recently? Well, let me tell you a little story. Arden's blood sugar got a little sticky high because she needed a new pump. And she was dilly dallying around about changing it. So she changed it got her insulin delivery back to where we wanted it to be. And we had to break this 160s blood sugar, which we were a little aggressive about and did a wonderful job of bringing it down as a matter of fact, almost stopped it perfectly around 75 But it drifted under 70 Arden's out at a friend's house. She's not paying attention to her blood sugar because she's a child. So I got a little alert on my phone BPP and I said, Well, what is this? And I looked and Arden's blood sugar had gone below 70 And I sent her a text. Let me read it to you. It says carbs 10 Now, she says, and this is stunning. Her response. Okay, then you know what she did? She took him 10 carbs. And you know her blood sugar is now it is superduper amazingly stable 78 I can follow Arden's Dexcom with my iPhone. If I had an Android phone, I can follow up with that as well. Actually up to 10 people could follow her seeing her blood sugar in real time just as she can on her phone. And one day she'll grow up and check it for herself. But for today, I can see it dexcom.com forward slash juicebox support the sponsors support the show back to Mandy

Mandy Morreale 19:14
they did not know I took a couple days. So she was on the you know, like the IV drip or whatever, bring an insulin down to save number. And then we went home. This was nervous breakdown number two when they sent us home with all this stuff, and I have no idea what to do like with just you know blood glucose meter and pens.

Scott Benner 19:34
Yeah. When you say nervous breakdown do you mean like, like traditional psychological, like falling apart or screaming in a pillow in a closet? Like

Mandy Morreale 19:45
this one. I mean, and I'm not really even embarrassed to say this because I think other moms are going to feel me on this when we I'm holding her hand. We're walking out of the hospital to find our car and we couldn't find our car and we sit down on the ground from the hospital on the streets and local Kentucky, and I start crying like a crazy person nervous breakdown.

Scott Benner 20:06
Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, I don't have all of that. But we stopped in the dining room of the hospital on the way out. And Arden had this little pizza, which I didn't know anything about diabetes, then Kelly didn't know we gave her, you know, a shot, and I think in our thigh, and then she just ate, you know, I didn't think about Pre-Bolus thing or like, I didn't understand any of that. And then she ate the food. And we went out to the car. And we were in the parking garage. And I thought it was right away. I guess my, my fear slash paranoia. In you know, the slash quizzical nature about Arden's health has always been there. Because I was it was only 45 minutes after we gave the injection and all I could think of is like what's her blood sugar now? Yeah, you know, and so I tested her with a meter in the car, which, you know, at this point, it's, you know, it's hard to remember back that far. But it was traumatic to have to poke her finger. And so you're doing that she's two years old. She just spent like four days, five days in the hospital. She's, you know, she looks dazed. And I tested her. And then I got the number. And I can tell you that I don't remember the number. I just remember wondering, Am I supposed to do something about this? And then feeling frozen, and then driving and wondering the entire time if her blood sugar was going up or down while we were driving around? So and you were on your way back to four children? Right? Yeah. And you're a single mom of four kids. Right? So that's yeah, I mean, my God, I might have, I might have been like, Hey, honey, stand here for a second. Mommy's gonna leave. When a policeman comes, just tell him that I got here. Okay. Let me get diabetes. And there's some kids at home, you might want to check in on I gotta go. But but instead of just overwhelming responsibility that you felt like you couldn't stand up to or?

Mandy Morreale 22:10
Yeah, I really didn't feel like. I mean, maybe they gave me enough information in the hospital, but I wasn't able to receive it as well as I should have. Or maybe they didn't give me enough information in the hospital. But I just didn't feel like I could do it.

Scott Benner 22:26
I don't I can't. I can't say that. I don't understand. You know, I completely understand. So what pulls you out of that in the buy the car?

Mandy Morreale 22:37
I'm dead call somebody to come get us. We know we did. We ended up yes, we found the car but not that j. So I came and got us. You know, we went home from there.

Scott Benner 22:46
No kidding. Oh, that's really something else. Did you have family come and kind of pile around you after that? Or how did you how did the first days go? At home?

Mandy Morreale 22:57
No, not really no. I don't really think that the family understood or still, to this day even understands how serious it is and how much work goes into it. So it's, it's really been I mean, I have healthiness. I don't know if any of my family is listening. I'm not talking about about anybody. But.

Scott Benner 23:17
But in that moment, there weren't people around. No, yeah, you don't even know what they asked for. I was asked. So we were on vacation with my wife's family. And so I was asked when Kelly and I were asked, like, you know, what would help? And I just said, like, can you clean our house for us and get all the laundry done? Like, like, can you just give me a blank slate at home? Like I don't, I don't want to go home and have to do the laundry and figure out diabetes like so. And it was, you know, hindsight, it. It was very helpful, but it wasn't that helpful. It was just always the only thing I could think of like, can you go take other responsibilities away from me, please?

Mandy Morreale 24:00
Yeah, because then nobody, in my opinion, nobody's ever gonna be able to take this responsibility from me like I can't. I can't even transfer it to somebody else. This is mine and mine only I don't trust anybody to to do it.

Scott Benner 24:13
Yeah. Honestly, many for the first two years. I was a poor imitation of a caregiver for somebody with type one. I didn't know what I was doing. And I was pretty bad at it. Her a one C pointed that out. I couldn't get a one c out of the middle eights. Honestly, I really didn't know what I was doing. And she was so small. And you know, she didn't weigh very much and she didn't eat very much. And the amount of insulin she needed was such a little bit and there was no pump and there was no CGM and I was just like, trying not to give her a seizure. Most of the time it felt like like that felt like one of my goals most days. It's crazy. Did something happen that got you over it? Or did you learn something that made the feeling Like how do you transition?

Mandy Morreale 25:03
Oh, you are what happened? You got me over.

Scott Benner 25:07
Hey, we help people

Mandy Morreale 25:08
to find you.

Scott Benner 25:11
Mandy tell people we didn't plan that answer first. Okay. We did not plan that answer. So you can trust her. So No kidding. Yeah. So you struggled for two years. I struggled for two years. Did you like to cry in the shower? That was my favorite place to cry?

Mandy Morreale 25:24
Yes. Oh, well, yes. Well, I don't like showers on a bath person. So I would put the bathtub in, soak and just have a nice cry.

Scott Benner 25:31
I used to like, late afternoon, my wife would come home and be like, I never got a chance to get a shower today. And then that was my that I would just turn on the radio in the shower and cry in the shower, and then come out and be like, I'm ready for the next half of this day. Yeah, that's terrible. So you found so what did I forget? It's me for a second, like, what was it that that helped

Mandy Morreale 25:58
with, I mean, learning to be to use insulin I was afraid of insulin for for two years, I was I thought 200 was safe. And that we should just, you know, go to bed at 200 You're fine. At least you're not gonna die in your sleep. You know,

Scott Benner 26:14
I have to tell you that I think that at the core, oh, I'm gonna cough excuse me. That somehow came on by surprise. And not a surprise at the same time that was on. I got like a warning. If I had a warning light, it would have went on like, you're going off in a minute. Like I was like, I'm gonna cough. But how it's here again, hola. So I owe everybody an explanation. I tried to take a vitamin while you were talking last time. And now I see that was a horrible mistake, although I've never once coughed after taking a vitamin. But I usually don't take a vitamin and then continue to talk to people. You know what, at this rate, fear is? To me at the core of what most people struggle with. It's the fear of insulin. It's just it's very difficult. It's what struck me. It's what I hear people talk about. And until you understand all of the myriad of things that can make that fear lesson, and fear, feel more, feel less. So the word I want. Like, it just happens, right? Like like that feeling that low blood sugars can just happen magically out of nowhere. Which is true for people when they don't know how to use their insulin until you can get to that spot where you get your settings, right. And you get your timing right. And you're like, wow, things happen that I expect now, even like low blood sugars, I can kind of see coming almost like my cough just now. Like, like, I'm like, I think this is going to end up with us having to intervene in two hours. Like, I could never have seen stuff like that before and, you know, much respected Dexcom for the product that they make, because that makes it all

Mandy Morreale 28:02
Dexcom I don't think I slept for the first six months until we got Dexcom.

Scott Benner 28:07
Yeah, I was talking to a family the other day. And I said, Can I text you later? And she's like, I don't sleep doesn't matter when. And she was well, she wasn't kidding, you know, and I felt terrible. So it's like a sick look here. Let me see if I can help you a little bit. And they're in a similar situation like really little kid. And so much of that management with tiny, younger newly diagnosed people is like feel. It's not a lot of like mathematical answers. You know what I mean? Like, it's a little more of like, you got to know when to zig and zag and stuff like that and kind of sucks. So did you find the pro tips or did you start listening through episodes?

Mandy Morreale 28:46
I just started listening through episodes. We, I told you this in the email, we were on a cruise, actually, with all the kids and brandy had been going crazy on the buffet eating whatever she wanted. And I'm trying to, you know, keep a rein on it. And then coming home from Florida driving back to Kentucky. I was actually I'm like, I'm a really big office fan. So I was looking for something to listen to. So I'm looking at podcasts because I heard they had podcasts. And I found you. And I mean 10 hours in the car like the kids hate the sound of your voice still to this day, because 10 hours in the car from Kentucky to Florida. That's all we listen to.

Scott Benner 29:21
Some more people I get married. They already hate the sound of my voice. They're well ahead of the of the of the desire for the job. Yeah, I can imagine there are I believe I joked about it online the other day, but I believe there are a lot of children all over the world that hate me. Because their parents are like listen to this. But that and that helped. So it wasn't like you were like were you putting it in practice in the car ride already? Or was it Yeah, absolutely.

Mandy Morreale 29:47
Yes. Yeah. Cuz like on the way down. She slept obviously. But she was sleeping at 250 300 because I was comfortable and she was safe and she been asleep and let it be on the way home and I discover you and Be bold with insulin. So um, you know, make the choice to do it. And if she goes too far, I'm gonna put a juice box in there, and we'll be okay. And she rides home and like at like 90 instead of 300. And then it's like, oh my god.

Scott Benner 30:12
Did that alleviate any of your anxiety? Or?

Mandy Morreale 30:16
Yes, yes, absolutely.

Scott Benner 30:18
That's excellent. Well, I'm glad for you. That is really cool. I have to, I have to admit, and I, I'm hoping this never stops. But I am mixed with like two different emotions. When people talk like this. I'm very happy. And I feel very good about the podcast and what it does. And at the same time, I still don't feel like it's hard for me to take the if there's a compliment in there as hard for me to take it. So

Mandy Morreale 30:47
definitely a compliment in there, we would be absolutely lost without you. I'm sure

Scott Benner 30:52
1000s of other people would be as well. Let's say 10s of 1000s 10s

Mandy Morreale 30:55
of 1000s. If I was gonna say millions, where I thought I was overshooting millions lost without you

Scott Benner 31:01
Yeah, millions is probably overshooting. But I mean, you know, I mean, there's, there's like, three, I don't want to say how many downloads there are, but there's over 3 million downloads. And I think we're gonna get to 4 million this year. But there's also, you know, you know, assume some people listen to 10 or 20 episodes, some people listen to all of them, you know, you don't know how many downloads is really a person. But what I can tell you is it's, that's a lot. You know what I mean? Like, that's, that's, this is a very niche podcast. And yeah, I mean, it's not diabetes, it's not type two diabetes is type one, you know, and then most people have to get over the idea that I don't have diabetes. And that's a leap for people. So like, when you really like, funnel it down to the people who are going to be willing to listen at the beginning. The expansiveness of the show only has to do with people listening, finding it valuable than telling somebody else about it. Otherwise, I could never, I wouldn't be able to grow the podcast on my own life. Yeah, so that's really cool. How about how about your daughter? Is she a different person today than she was a year ago?

Mandy Morreale 32:13
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I can definitely well, she's turned into you know, a teenager throughout this course. So she's been a teenager to be nice. But I can see the difference you know, when she's high, her attitude how it is, as opposed to when she's steady and normal and doing what we're supposed to be doing. She's she's a pretty cool person to hang out with. When she's had a normal blood sugar.

Scott Benner 32:41
Any any weird, like body aches or anything like that when she gets higher? Besides just the cranky stuff? Do you notice any physical stuff?

Mandy Morreale 32:48
Oh, no, she's not really ever mentioned any physical? Okay. I mean, maybe like a headache. She kind of just cranky and headache.

Scott Benner 32:55
Okay, no, I was just wondering, actually, give me a second, I got a text Arden, about taking some insulin.

Nothing exciting. It's just bumping the number. So make sure she gets it. How much of her management is she? Part of and how much? Are you? You guys? Do it as a team? Or how do you do it?

Mandy Morreale 33:24
We're starting to transition now. To her taking a more active role in it. Because at first it was all me because she was younger. And then it was all me because I want to control our budget or you on track. Right now we're to the point where I think you know, what are you going to do without me? So let's start teaching you what you need to do.

Scott Benner 33:43
Right? And she's picking it up.

Mandy Morreale 33:46
She is just we're having some issues because summers rolling around and she wants to wear shorts and shorts and belly to show in our shirts and she doesn't want to Dexcom stolen and things like that. So we're had a little bit of fights about that. But for the most part, she's she's taken control. Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:01
Oh, that's interesting. I don't have that. That specific issue with art. And she doesn't care if people see the stuff. But I know that it's a reality for for a lot of people. So she doesn't want people to see it. And what do you what do you do with it then? Well, the Dexcom you can kind of go hip? Yeah, right.

Mandy Morreale 34:21
She basically just throws her stomach in her arms. And we're having such a terrible rash. Right now, though, from Omni pod that she went off of Omnipod for about a month try to clear up our arms. But the numbers weren't as good. So we're back on it now.

Scott Benner 34:35
Have you looked at some of the ways that people make barriers for

Mandy Morreale 34:41
Yeah, we actually just found the skin tech barrier about two weeks ago.

Scott Benner 34:45
Good. Yeah, it's um it's a shame but medical tape causes rashes for some people sometimes and it's not ever. It's not like the first time you put it on always. It's not and sometimes it just doesn't happen to anybody ever. There are times of years where it doesn't bother Arden at all, there's times of year where like, she'll be a little red, when she pulls it off, she doesn't really get a rash anymore. We used to get, she used us to make sure I lay this out, right. She never had a problem, and then started to develop a problem. And then that led me to stop using alcohol to prepper sites. And then the problem went away. Okay, and that's been the extent of it. So I this is like 2012 Maybe. And, and I she had this redness under her pod. And I was like, literally standing thinking like, what is what is happening? And as I was standing, I was rubbing my fingers together. I don't know why. Exactly. Mad Scientist. And I noticed my fingers were dry. And I thought like, why are my fingers so dry? And then I thought, Well, I do touch alcohol all the time. And then somehow that led me to, um, drying out her skin and then sticking something over top of it. Yeah, I wonder if that's a problem. Then I did a little research online and found out that in Europe, type ones are not taught to clean sites with alcohol. Emily? Yeah, I was like, wow, okay. Oh, I'll try something different then. So now we just clean it with, you know, a mild soap. Sometimes just warm water to pay, like, you know, if Arden's got a shower at 11 o'clock, and we're putting a pot on at one o'clock. Um, I'm just making sure she's clean, and you know, a little warm water and a clean towel, let it dry, put it on. And that took care of it for her. I mean, some, some people have really bad adhesive allergies. I'm not saying

Mandy Morreale 36:41
you know that she used the skin to skin tech or a barrier or anything or you just

Scott Benner 36:45
never, we've never used that. So and we're not even gentle when we take them off. Like, you know, people like how do I get this off, so it doesn't hurt like we peel up a corner and I look her in the face. And she goes, go ahead, and I just put and we read them. Oh, wow. And she goes, Oh, and then it's over. That's some people's skin is so delicate that even just pulling it off quickly would cause a problem for them. But you never know. I mean, it's it's, you know, you feel very badly for people who have those allergies. I mean, very badly. It's not enough. Like I feel terrible for people who want to use these devices and can't. Yeah, but it's just, it's part of the game. You don't I mean, like, once you're in this world, that's one of the things that may or may not happen to you just kind of sucks. But I hope the barrier works for because I mean, obviously pumping is a little easier.

Mandy Morreale 37:36
Yeah. Oh, yeah. So far as you know, we haven't a stuttering so far. We haven't had any problems. Since we started using a barrier. Yeah.

Scott Benner 37:43
Oh, I'm glad. That's excellent. Arden not answering me. So this is all going great. I'm going to text again. I think she's in a class. I mean, if that's what we're calling it on a laptop in our room, I'm assuming ignoring what the person is saying. And she's on Instagram is what I'm guessing. I'm guessing. This is been a real? A real? I don't know. I feel like my daughter's lost a year of going to high school, basically, and I don't just mean the the process of being there. And the friends I mean, the learning.

Mandy Morreale 38:22
Yeah. My my boys had twin boys. They graduated last year. They were barely at school did all the pandemic they didn't get graduation.

Scott Benner 38:34
Did they still? What are they doing now? Are they working or going to college or?

Mandy Morreale 38:39
were undecided? One of them's working. The other one is in the basement.

Scott Benner 38:48
Oh, my son skipped this semester because of all this. And he was in my basement. He was lifting weights. But he was in the basement. Maybe we all have a kid in the basement at this point. That's funny. Yeah, I mean, listen to even to be honest, like starting school up. Now is I mean, if if somebody wanted to skip a freshman year right now, it makes sense to me. Like you're gonna go off to a place and say, sit in a dorm room and take classes from a dorm room on a laptop, you know, and a lot of places. So my son's got his fingers crossed that the fall is going to be better. And that's what I hope so. Yeah, that's what he's aiming for. So tell me some other things that you were hoping to talk about when you came on, because I don't want to miss anything.

Mandy Morreale 39:42
I'm going blank. I'm nervous for one.

Scott Benner 39:44
Are you really nervous? You're still nervous.

Mandy Morreale 39:47
I'm still nervous. I told you. I've been nervous for a week about this. Oh my god.

Scott Benner 39:51
I'm sorry. You should have told. Are you going to be nervous after we've recorded?

Mandy Morreale 39:56
No, no. I mean, I feel better. I'm just I'm just a little blank on I should have took notes.

Scott Benner 40:02
Don't worry, Hey, I can't I don't worry, I just want to I can do it. I just wanted to make sure that that wasn't the same thing that you wanted to do. It's funny. In the course of making the podcast, I have learned about anxiety and actually some other more serious mental issues, that when I record with somebody, I like to not give them as long of a lead time. And I like to get their episode up more quickly. Because I find that it can kind of weigh on them. If it's just the waiting weighs on them.

Mandy Morreale 40:33
I'll be okay in that regard. Okay, good. Take your

Scott Benner 40:35
time. Thanks. Because there's one I'm rushing out in a week or so because I just don't want to torture the person, you know, and just the waiting would torture them. Meanwhile, they episodes terrific, they did a great job. It's gonna be incredibly helpful for a lot of people. And so I just don't want to make a problem for them. That's interesting. Do any of the kids have anxiety?

Mandy Morreale 40:56
I suppose. Yeah. One of them does.

Scott Benner 40:59
Okay. And do you see yourself in him? Vice versa? Does that help you help him? Or does it help you help yourself?

Mandy Morreale 41:07
It does. Yeah, he was having a really hard time, one day last week, and I kind of just explained to him how I feel when I'm when I'm getting anxious and what helps me we went out for a drive and got some fast food and talk some things down and calmed him down. Yeah,

Scott Benner 41:20
that's good. I thought you're gonna tell me, I told him my, I like a little edible and takes care of everything. You don't say that on here. When you have four kids? I don't want life is coming for it. But But no, I, um, I. I wasn't. It's nice. So you just basically say, Look, this is how it happens to me. I understand. You might be feeling the same way. He felt comforted by that. Do you think he just wanted the cheeseburger?

Mandy Morreale 41:43
No, he felt comfort. I mean, I could tell a whole difference in his demeanor and the way he was. Yeah. That's excellent. So just knowing somebody else has it makes you feel like you're not so out of your own head.

Scott Benner 41:55
Yet, what does it feel like? Do you have an ability to describe that an angle? Like it's an unreasonable concern about something that you intellectually know you don't need to be concerned about? Right? Know,

Mandy Morreale 42:08
yeah, yeah, it's, um, a lot of times it happens to me at night, I'll just wake up in the middle of night, worried about something absolutely ridiculous. And I'll get to where I can't breathe. I my limbs start shaking, I've got to go take a bath. We actually just bought a hot tub. And that's, that's helping a lot. You find me out in the hot tub in the middle of the night trying to calm down, over over nonsense. There were things that I know aren't going to happen.

Scott Benner 42:33
While the body, what's the word I'm looking for? Hold on a second. I might have injured myself without vitamin C. I'm kidding. So while that thing is happening, while you're, you know, out of it, and limbs feel weak and shaking and and you're worried about something? Do you know? Like, are you sitting there thinking I know this isn't important. Or I know this isn't a problem, but I can't stop worrying about it. Or can you not even focus on the idea that this isn't important?

Mandy Morreale 43:07
I know that it's not important. And I know that there's nothing wrong. But usually what I'll do is, is I'll text all for the kids make sure everybody's okay, I'll check brandies, blood sugar, and then I start working on steps to call myself down from there. Because once I know that they're fine. Nothing else really matters. And I can start, you know, backtracking back to normal.

Scott Benner 43:26
Can I ask you in you might not know. But if I showed up at your house with a billion dollars, and I was like, here's what I'm gonna do. I want to put a private security guard on everybody you love. I'm gonna have three nurses on this kid with the diabetes. Everybody is safe. Here's all the money in the world you'll ever need to pay your bills and your house. You have no worries in the world. Would you just worry about something else? Absolutely. Okay. Okay, then suddenly, you'd be like, there's not enough fresh water on the planet and or

Mandy Morreale 43:52
Absolutely, yeah. Or die. Like I'm gonna die of something. That's that's what's got me currently, I don't have anything wrong with me. I'm perfectly great health, but I'm like, if something happens to me, what, who's gonna take care of brandy? How are the boys gonna be okay, they're not even going to college. What are

Scott Benner 44:07
they gonna do? Ah, Suki. Okay, well, that. May I Mandy, that's a reasonable concern. I think I mean, I worry about that. Okay. I mean, I have a little bit of a insurance policy set up for my kids. I mean, it's not going to carry them through their life or anything like that. And I still think like, the weight, but the way it occurs to me is, if something were to happen to me, I don't worry that they'd be okay. I feel disappointed that I didn't get to tell them everything I wanted to tell them and not about how I felt but about the things I feel like they need to know. Yeah. And then that makes me feel like I wouldn't have shaped them. And then in then it leaves you without wonderment of what's going to happen to the like, where are they going to go? Which I guess is no different than what you're saying? You're just you're thinking more from a safety perspective and I'm Thinking of it as a as like a course perspective?

Mandy Morreale 45:04
Yeah. You feel like it's almost happened to you like this Arden, can Arden do what you do?

Scott Benner 45:11
I think that if Arden would remember to Pre-Bolus I think she could swing a low six a one C. And I have told her in the past, and I know I don't know what she would do. But I've told her in the past. I said look hard. And I know a lot of people listen to the podcast, and it feels like it's a thing now. But it's for you. I'm like that podcast, like I know other people get something out of it. But it's I made it for you. It's for you. It. It's how to take care of yourself. It's a it's a living, breathing document that will explain how to take care of yourself. It is literally about you. When you hear me given explanation in an episode, it will be about you. And so you'll be able to hear that. And and know what I was thinking because I've I've explained it out in in clear, plain language. So much so that strangers can understand it. Yeah, but I said, but it wasn't for them. It's great that it works for them. This is this is this is the thing I'm leaving behind for now. Well, she listened. That's it's lovely. Unless she doesn't listen to Mandy and then what? Yeah, that is the podcast.

Mandy Morreale 46:24
That's a great way of thinking that's, that's really

Scott Benner 46:27
beautiful. Yeah, well, you know, what it is really is. I don't know if other people have this feeling. But I enjoy writing. I don't do it anymore. But I used to daydream about having enough time to sit down and write things out that I thought my kids would benefit from things, I was worried we wouldn't get to like something you'd think of. And you're like, Oh, that's not really till they're 20. But they were 10. You know what I mean? Like, I should write that down somewhere. And then I thought, even if I did that, he couldn't do that. First of all, like you can't live a life and write about a life at the same time, there's not enough time for that. And so I couldn't be their parent. At the same time, I was documenting what I wanted them to know, or I would miss out on the new stuff that I would need to figure out. To say to them later, I don't make sense or not. It's just not a reasonable idea to write down, uh you know, a manual for life. While you're living a life, like maybe I can get old one day and like, sit down and write all my thoughts down. But that won't be in time for my kids. And not anybody else's. Nobody else is going to be interested in what I think about raising your kids like that's, you know what I mean? Something like, well, that's not going to work. But the podcast and the blog, I mean, it's obviously it's, it's for Arden, you know, it's it's yeah, it's hers. So hopefully she'll use that to get back to your question. But I mean, if I was being realistic, based on the stories that I hear on this podcast, I would think that if I dropped dead, she'd revolt against this, or a one C would go up into the 10s. And hopefully, she would figure out that she doesn't want to live that way. And then listen to the podcast. That's what everybody else is that you hear come on here, right? Yeah. So there are people who panic and look for it right away and find it. And there are people who get put in your situation, don't really know any better, haven't been taught any better. And then just one day think to themselves, like there's got to be a better way than this. And then there's the people who get caught in that bad go and never get out of it. And I mean, there really only a couple of lanes you can fall into. So I don't know what would happen to her. I think watching her she would take care of herself. But you know, people like to come on here. And I don't know if you've ever heard them. It's the adults that I've typed one, they always asked me. So you're really good at this. But like, you know, what about your daughter? What about when she's by yourself? And if you listen to that question, sometimes it's people being concerned, and sometimes it's people going, it's not going to work, buddy, like go Yeah, that's what they think. And I don't know if it's gonna work or not. Like, I don't know who she is. You don't I mean, so. Yeah, who she's gonna end up being I hope, I think she could. I think if she listened to the podcast, she could do it well. And then she'll need to want to, yeah, so we'll say, I don't know. I you know, for everybody out there is looking for some. Some way to stop worrying about whether or not yours kid's gonna be the one that does a great job with it, or your kids gonna be the one who ignores it. Like there's I don't think you're in charge of that. Really? I think you just say the things and, you know, like I was talking about earlier, just say the things and hope that somebody picks up on it and does it. Yeah. I don't know. What do you think? Are you what you're worried about?

Mandy Morreale 49:55
Oh, yeah, I'm always worried about that. Like, I can see Brandi getting married in law. walking down the aisle and me being like, Oh, you need to dose. Like, I don't think I want to be able to let it go.

Scott Benner 50:08
Yeah, I mean,

Mandy Morreale 50:11
maybe she'll marry an endocrinologist or something, and I'll, I can let go of it. But I don't know what if

Scott Benner 50:17
she doesn't get one of the endocrinologist that really understands that.

Mandy Morreale 50:21
Maybe you know, our endocrinologist, we were just there last week, and she was a 5.8. And I was thrilled to death. Like I took her on a shopping spree thrilled to death. Yeah, but the doctor said have to Oh,

Scott Benner 50:31
yeah. I mean, I'm going to use a colloquialism here, Mandy.

Mandy Morreale 50:39
If you pretty much what I said, yeah,

Scott Benner 50:41
if you're a 5.8, and you're not experiencing prolonged or frequent lows, and your variability is good, meaning she's not 300 sometimes and 50. Sometimes, and that's not happening all the time. Then you came about your 5.8. Legitimately. Now if you've got, you know, overnight, she's 65 for 10 hours, then you have not come across your five eight legitimately. That makes sense.

Mandy Morreale 51:07
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. We got it legitimately. And they said the same thing.

Scott Benner 51:11
Yeah, then five, eight, hell, congratulations. That's amazing. By the way, how much of that is your anxiety? When driving, driving what you do? I mean,

Mandy Morreale 51:24
I'm probably all of it. Just because I mean, I wanted I wanted to be okay, you know, I don't want any type of prolonged damage. I don't want to think about any of that. I want to give her the best shot at taking care of this. Without me one day that I possibly can.

Scott Benner 51:38
Hey, if I was there, if you and I were married? How would I help you with your anxiety?

Mandy Morreale 51:44
I would have none. Because you're like one of the few this is what's so appealing to most moms about you is like you, you're a man, and you're taking control of this. And there's not a lot of guys out there that do that. Not a lot of husbands now a lot of dads out there that do that. That's what I think is why you're at almost 4 million downloads because all these moms like oh my god.

Scott Benner 52:07
Well, that's not what Okay, that was really kind and I appreciate it. But that wasn't what I was asking. So I love that. It was very nice that you said it. You made me blush. So what was your face? Forget me for a second. I said me just making? If, if, if? If there was a person living with you, an adult who is concerned for you? How does that person help you with anxiety? Like what would make your anxiety better?

Mandy Morreale 52:33
Oh, nothing. No, I'm remarried. And I have a person who cares for me and puts my anxiety up there and make sure that things are, are good and reassures me that there's nothing to worry about. But there still is things to worry about.

Scott Benner 52:48
You try ever like an Effexor or something like that to take the edge off the anxiety. Have you ever tried one of those things?

Mandy Morreale 52:54
I have in the past? Yeah, but I'm not really a big medicine type person. I don't really like the feeling after or if you if you miss a dose and you're jittery and things like that. Yeah,

Scott Benner 53:05
I gotcha. Yeah, I was just looking for ways that people could help. But there is no way to help. Right? Like, like, because common, like, common sense won't help. Rationality won't help. The truth won't help. And definitely me saying You Can you calm down won't help. So that makes it worse, does it? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny, because it's, it is, it is both completely invaluable. And the Absolute Truth, but there's no way to get to it. Like if you just calm down, there's no big deal here. You know, but and that's something you would say to somebody who's in control of that feeling. Anybody? Have you ever talked to your parents? Or Did anybody else struggle with this and your family line? Anxiety?

Mandy Morreale 53:52
No, not really. Um, I mean, my sister, my sister has the same issues that I do. But we were we were kind of raised by our grandparents. And now they don't have anything like that. No.

Scott Benner 54:03
Do you think it's something that gets instilled in you? Or do you think it's a a wiring thing?

Mandy Morreale 54:08
I think it's a wiring thing,

Scott Benner 54:10
you know? Yeah. Do you think it's possible that if somebody's got that wiring issue, and then they're in a more traumatic upbringing, that it just makes it worse? I do. Yeah. I can happen. Okay. Yeah.

Mandy Morreale 54:24
Like my son for example. He's got nothing to worry about. What are you having panic attacks about? You've got nothing going on? I take care of your every need to live in my basement for free. You got nothing to worry about? Why are you ever going to get taxes? Just think you're kind of just wired that way?

Scott Benner 54:39
You've never locked him in the basement, right? No, okay. Well, then I'm just gonna say cuz that would be concerning. If I was like, I might wake up and he won't let me out. No, no, you've never done that. Then I think it's fine. Never done that. No, I lived in the attic for years. Yeah, yeah. And a house we lived in it had this like this. A framed attic like he couldn't you can only walk in the middle of the room because The the sharpness of the ceiling, if that makes sense. But my my parents had like kids and I was like, there's not a lot of room in here for everybody as I go in the attic. I remember my dad saying it's cold up there. And I was like, I'll take a blanket. Like, I got to get the hell out of this to my little kids in my room. Yeah. Gotta go. Yeah, that's really something. I feel. Um, and I wonder if you get this from other people ever. Like, I want to give you a hug or help you? And I don't know how. And like, is that? Is that not insulting? But is that? Does that feel bad to you that that I feel that way? Are you? Or does that make you know? Somebody?

Mandy Morreale 55:52
Everybody feels that way. Everybody wants to help you when you're in that moment, but nobody really can. Your I mean, your podcasts? I swear, I know he's not paying me to say this. But gosh, you have absolutely changed my level of anxiety from a 10 to maybe a SAM probably at a five now just by knowing that brandies, okay?

Scott Benner 56:12
I'm gonna go downstairs and tell my wife this when we're done. And she's gonna lie, and tell me that I've put her anxiety to 15 so funny. Well, I'm very happy that that's the truth. And I'm, I'm happy for you. I wish I wish it was doing more. But um, but that seems like a lot actually. Like cutting it in half.

Mandy Morreale 56:35
Oh, yeah, most definitely.

Scott Benner 56:37
Well, I had a question. I don't know what my question is, I guess I guess let me jump to this. Would you move her to an algorithm? Like when Omni pod five comes out? If that could like manage lows, would you? Where would that feel too out of your control?

Mandy Morreale 56:58
So the endocrinologist actually was telling us about that. They were hoping for that by the end of the year. I think the the new one and it's supposed to coincide with Dexcom. My only concern with that is I mean, Dexcom is wonderful. I couldn't live without it. But what about what's wrong?

Scott Benner 57:15
Yeah, I mean, it oddly turns out to not be that big of a problem. So yeah, it's hard to hard to. I mean, I guess listen, if you were a person whose body chemistry just doesn't jive with CGM sensing technology, and you couldn't get it, you couldn't get a CGM to ever work well on you, then obviously, that wouldn't be okay. But if your blood sugar was 130, and it thought you were 140 or verse Vysa, that wouldn't be a problem. Yeah, that works fine. And you just have to pay attention to it a little bit, too. Yeah.

Mandy Morreale 57:48
I mean, we always Dexcom generally spot on. But like we have those times when you first put one on, and you're low alerts, but she's really 120. Things like that. Worry me a little bit.

Scott Benner 57:57
There's ways there's simple like, once you have it, there's simple ways to like manage that moment. And they only take a couple of seconds. It's it's, it's like anything else with this diabetes technology is that when you can't, when you don't know enough about it, you can't imagine what to do. And then the worst seems like it's the answer. And then for for you, that's probably twice as bad. Like not, not not being light hearted. But like for you, it's probably twice as bad. But it's just like any it is quite honestly, like anything else. Like if I said to you right now. Tomorrow, I need you to pack your car and drive five states away and visit a national park. Take your kids, I need you to take a bunch of pictures and I need you to be home in 36 hours. You'd be like, Oh my god, I can't do that. But the truth is, you could. And if you just did it, you do it. And and I think that's the same way with this stuff. Like you just you imagine everything that can go wrong. Like it's, it's, you know, like, what do you hear from people? Like, I don't want to get a pump? What if it malfunctions and kills me? Well, okay, I mean, I guess that's happened in the past, like a couple of times in the last 20 years. But like, that's not really a thing you worry about, you know, what if I don't know how to insert this? What if I don't know, everybody feels like that the beginning? Like everybody feels like that. Like the, the the secret to all of this that everybody should know is obvious is that in the beginning, when you're struggling, you're only struggling because you don't have enough experience yet. And, and, and are you struggling if you're alive, like it's not going as well as you want it to? The struggle is that you think it's never going to change? But it does. If you don't give up it changes. And so, you know, I when I talk to people, I don't say it on here very much, but because I don't have the same kinds of conversations on here that I do privately. But the truth is that the desire to do well is a large part of succeeding with type one diabetes. Yeah, in my mind, just the desire to do well like you you legitimately want To do well, that desire propels you through the bullshit. It gets you through the experiences, and it gets you out the other side. It's it's just like, it's like flying through a cloud for 10 miles, like, just keep going, and it'll break eventually, and you'll still be up there and you'll see it'll feel it'll feel better. But while you're in the cloud, you're like, Oh, my God, I'm gonna crash, we're gonna get lightning like, I'm gonna crash into a bird like, you know, like it, it feels like there's an endless possibility for what could go wrong. Yeah, you know, but the truth is, you know, get your Basal right. Pre-Bolus understand the different impacts of foods stay flexible. That's it really, you know, just have enough experiences where it starts to make sense. That's it. I mean, is that what you found?

Mandy Morreale 1:00:47
Absolutely. Yeah. Like I said in the beginning, like, it's never easy. You just learn how to do it.

Scott Benner 1:00:54
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Just terrible. A, it's just tough in the beginning. It just really, really is. I just hope everybody can know, like, I used to say online. I took a little flack for it years ago, because I think it was very outside of how people talked about diabetes. But I would say now I hear people say it, but I would say diabetes is hard. And it's never really going to get easy. But one day, you'll get so good at it, that it'll feel easy. Yeah, definitely. And that is, I mean, that's kind of all you can hope for in this scenario, right? Is that it just doesn't feel burdensome all the time. And you have to, you have to let it to you. There are too many people who like the drama, not just around diabetes, but everything. Like they, they, they like being upset, and they don't like it I I'm that's the wrong word. It's somehow comfortable for them. Like maybe they grew up in a house where there was always drama, where people were always yelling or things were always going wrong. Like we all know, people who are more comfortable when something's wrong, and when everything's good. And we and we all know people who when things are good, make problems, because they're more comfortable. When there's just, you know, a disaster going on around them. I think you have to let it get better. You don't I mean, you have to I don't know, I don't know what happens. I'm not a psychiatrist. But there's something about people like staying in the muck sometimes. And you got to let yourself get out. You got to realize like, I am much better at this than I think I am. i There's a person recently that begged me to look at their kids graph. They begged me and I looked at it. And I was like, this is a good graph. But I don't know what I make. What is it you're worried about? Well, look at this here. I mean, yeah, me could have done a better job with the Bolus, but it's like, it's not bad. You know, and I'm talking to him, and I'm like, this is you're really much better at this than you think you are. And she's like, do you think so? And I was like, Yeah, I mean, look, you know, like, this is obvious. And I think just somebody telling her that was enough for to like, go Okay, so I'm not struggling anymore. Like, I think she was so accustomed to struggling that she couldn't believe that she wasn't almost, I don't know, like, I really don't know, it's just I see enough people that it strikes me that that ends up being the truth. You know,

Mandy Morreale 1:03:23
I also think a lot of a lot of endocrinologist just aren't. They kind of just give you a cut and dry do this, do this, do this, do this, which is all wrong. And then when you go to them, and you're and you're wanting the pat on the back for 5.8, you don't get it? Right. So you kind of feel like you're doing something wrong when you're not.

Scott Benner 1:03:43
Oh, hell, the thing that happened to you is way too common. So you get a doctor who doesn't understand any of the stuff I just said Get your Basal right Pre-Bolus They don't understand that. They see a five eight they immediately believe that's because you're having a lot of lows, because there's no way you could have a five eight if you had type one diabetes is what they're gonna think. And so

Mandy Morreale 1:04:02
he wanted us to be in the seventh house like what?

Scott Benner 1:04:09
Yeah. So what did you tell her?

Mandy Morreale 1:04:15
I kind of just, we're at the philosophy now we're Brian, he wants to she doesn't even want to go to doctor with me because I smile and I shake my head and I let them make their adjustments and and then we go out to the parking lot now put it all right back where it was. Because

Scott Benner 1:04:29
just smile and wave boys just smile and the only part of that little cartoon movie I remember when my kids were younger, those penguins just like that big grin on their face in Madagascar. And they're just saying no, and the one penguins like just smile and wave boys. That's how I feel in that in that story. Listen, I guess I should probably tell people to listen to their doctors but you've got a five eight without a lot of lows. You know what you're doing? Yeah, I mean telling somebody to raise their a one see a point and a half. It just says to me that she the doctor believes wholeheartedly, you're going to have some crazy dangerous low, which by the way for most people might be true. But it isn't for you, you understand the bigger picture. Yeah. And what she should be doing is asking you how did you do this? Because you've got a Dexcom there she can see there's no lows, right? Like,

Mandy Morreale 1:05:26
yeah, I mean, I mean, there's a low here and there, but she's never steady, low or comment.

Scott Benner 1:05:32
What are you calling low as well?

Mandy Morreale 1:05:34
Oh, maybe like 50? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:37
I see a 50 once in a while you Oh, geez. You know, like, and you fix it? You don't let them be 50 for an hour. You go no, no.

Mandy Morreale 1:05:44
And it used to like, if she got anywhere near 80. I would freak out. Because I thought oh my god, this is gonna be too low. But now 50 100 juicebox. You'll be alright.

Scott Benner 1:05:54
I had a lady tell me they treated 115 at their house. And I was like, what? And she goes well, I don't put my husband does and I was like I gotcha. But well, she's like, I'm trying to talk about it. But he's just scared. And I don't think the doctors any different. I guarantee you that doctor all day long sees people who either have incredibly high blood, a onesies are incredibly low. The ones with the low ones are low too much. And it's dangerous for them. And she just lumped you in with that without I wonder if How long have you had that good? Anyone say?

Mandy Morreale 1:06:26
Oh, we've since finding the podcast. We've come down from it. We were an eight. And then we were seven seven. I mean steadily come down all the way. She was something 6.8 This time for this one. Now we're five when

Scott Benner 1:06:39
I wonder if you if you do it a couple more times if the doctoral chill out.

Mandy Morreale 1:06:45
I hope so. Yeah. If not, we'll we'll fix it when we get to the car. You did? You didn't

Scott Benner 1:06:51
tell her I learned this on a podcast, right? I did not think she would have handled that. Well, some of them do. By the way. There are a lot of people listening right now who were referred by their doctors, which is really Yeah, very cool. I get to see. So I hear stories, first of all, and some doctors write me notes and stuff like that, which is great. But when people come into the private Facebook group for the podcast, it asked where you heard about the podcast. Funnily some people come in and don't know what the podcast is. They're like what podcast that one's that? That's what those are. People have heard the Facebook group. It's just a great group. But a lot of people say my doctor recommended it. Wow. Yeah. So it makes you feel

Mandy Morreale 1:07:29
I mean, life's that would change though. Like if, if when you get diagnosed, instead of making us watch these ridiculous videos and play with a teddy bear and practice injections.

They make you listen to pro tips, your pink panther would go home and have an idea of what to do.

Scott Benner 1:07:44
Yeah, no, I didn't mean to cut you off. But yeah, I just stupid joke. I want to say but I agree with you. I think good information sooner is beneficial. Yeah. And in a way that you can digest it and understand it. And I will listen, if I'll take credit for one thing. I think I know how to talk about this in a way that is understandable and not overwhelming. Definitely. Right. So maybe the doctor just can't do that. Maybe that doctor sitting in front of you knows everything that I know and doesn't know how to say it to you. That's completely possible. It's not everybody's good at the chitchat, you know? So. Yeah, that makes sense to me. That damn pimp did you get the Pink Panther book when she was dying?

Mandy Morreale 1:08:25
We did get the Pink Panther movie. We got the Rufus the teddy bear.

Scott Benner 1:08:29
That stuff didn't help. You know, that's surprising. I really thought a teddy bear was gonna help you get your Basal right. Listen to teddy bears. Nice. I'm not gonna say a teddy bear. It's not nice. But you know, no one. I don't know who in the world believes that a person gets diagnosed with type one diabetes and goes home and reads a manual about type one diabetes. I don't know who thinks that actually happens. Yeah, you know, I just I held on to that damn book for 10 years. Even after I didn't need it. I wouldn't throw it away. And then one day, I was like, What am I doing right in the trash? I never opened it once in a decade. Yeah.

Mandy Morreale 1:09:06
Ours were up on top of refrigerator until we moved. And then we throw it out when we move.

Scott Benner 1:09:10
And it's got that weird grease on it from the kitchen like, taco. I must make too much bacon. That's what I always think when I feel. I'm always like, we got to make less bacon is this grease is up here. It's weird. Anyway, I'll ask you again. Just to be careful. Is there anything we didn't talk about that you wanted to?

Mandy Morreale 1:09:30
Know? I think we got it all.

Scott Benner 1:09:31
Are you still nervous?

Mandy Morreale 1:09:33
No, I'm much better now.

Scott Benner 1:09:35
Everybody's always better at the end. Yeah, I am. I wonder sometimes if people listening can hear when people relax. Like I can tell when I'm talking to people when they calm down. And they kind of chill out. I can tell people who think they're not nervous but they are. They're interesting.

Mandy Morreale 1:09:51
They're just I sent my friend a video right before you clicked on and came on my hands. My hands were just trembling while I was waiting for you to click cool.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:59
Are you seeing Yes.

Mandy Morreale 1:10:00
Oh yeah, I was like, maybe he forgot. I don't know. And I was early anyway, but

Scott Benner 1:10:05
Well, you were early. So like I was hopefully this will make you laugh as we go. Ah, hold on a second, I have to tell Arden to close the loop and hold on a second. Don't Bolus

I was walking like I took care of my dogs beforehand. And then I move some laundry. And then I went to the bathroom and wash my hands. And then I was and as I was doing all that, I got a notice that you were in the zoom. Like, I get an I get a message. And I looked at the time and I still like oh, I still have like five minutes like this is about when I said I was gonna come on. And I was like, Oh, really, she's there, we can get started. So meanwhile, you're like texting fade. I hope nobody forgot. I'm just like, I'm sorry. I feel badly now. Like I felt bad. I was moving stuff to the dryer while you were like you were upset and your hands were shaking? Well, well, Mandy, listen, I have no power over anything in the world. But if I did, I would pray for you. And everybody else is anxiety to leave them alone. Because I've seen it. I've seen it mess with people. And I know it's not nice. So I wish I wish you well. Thank you. Yeah. And I mean, just calm down. Okay. Why don't you just calm down? Has anybody ever said that to you? Like,

Mandy Morreale 1:11:31
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's great. Why don't you just go away? Leave me alone? Yeah, I will.

Scott Benner 1:11:38
Oh, I see, man. He's like, Look, you might not be the cause of my anxiety. But Joey making it much better. So you get to leave. I seriously, I hope people who don't have it can can't believe how how impactful it is. It's not good. So thank you very much. Would you hold on for one second? I've hit record again. I meant to do that. I meant to do this. And I didn't do it in the thing. So at the very beginning of our recording, I said to Andy, I'm having you on because I have a very good feeling about you. But Mandy sells books about type one diabetes, and I don't let people on here to sell things that I can't be sure of. But I was really sure about you Mandy, and over the last hour, you you more than proved out what I thought who I thought you are. So just very quickly. You're on Instagram. What's your handle on Instagram?

Mandy Morreale 1:12:33
Cranky panky books and we have a website cranky panky calm.

Scott Benner 1:12:37
How did you start doing that?

Mandy Morreale 1:12:40
Um, well, because I couldn't find anything that I really liked for brandy book wise. So I wrote my own illustrated my own. And then from there, I kind of built it up. And I think we've got about 11 type one books right now. And we're doing them for other authors.

Scott Benner 1:12:56
That's it's gone. Well, that's really great. And so tell me again, Cranky panky books calm,

Mandy Morreale 1:13:03
just cranky. panky.com. But on Instagram, we're cranky. Thank you books.

Scott Benner 1:13:07
Got it. Okay, so people should go check it out. And just while Mandy's still here, and we're finishing up, I take my responsibility, like very seriously about. I'm not a gatekeeper. But you would maybe or not, maybe maybe you wouldn't be surprised about how many people every day tried to get on this podcast. And a great number of them want to sell you something. And so I have to be incredibly careful about that. And I say no to a lot of people who want to come on the show. So understandable. Yeah, but you I just didn't think that's who you are. And I was like, I'm gonna take a flyer on this one here. I'm going to try and you more than proof to prove me right. And so I wanted to take a moment here at the end and tell people to check out and see what they think. Well,

Mandy Morreale 1:13:53
thank you know, appreciate it.

Scott Benner 1:13:55
Thank you very much.

Thank you so much for listening to the program. Thank you, Mandy, for being so honest. Thank you, Dexcom and Alibaba for sponsoring the show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. dexcom.com Ford slash juice box Get started today with that Dexcom G six continuous glucose monitor. Peace of mind is but a few clicks away. And don't forget that Omni pod promise you get started right now with Omni pod at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Maybe you're eligible for a free 30 day supply of the Omni pod Dash. And last I want to remind you to go to the T one D exchange T one D exchange.org forward slash juice box. Fill out the survey support people living with type one diabetes. It's incredibly quick and simple to do and it benefits people just like you people living with type one diabetes. I want to thank you so much for listening and for supporting the show. October was just Another record month per downloads and that is completely because of you and your willingness to share the Juicebox Podcast with other people. It grows every month. I'm looking at statistics from 2021. It has not just grown every month but leapt leaped, leaped from where it was in January and where it was in January. I was thrilled with so where it is now is bonkers. All because of you sharing the show is maybe the kindest thing you can do. Thank you so much. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.